#jujutsu kaisen gojo

[madaqueue]

gn!reader - 18+ MDNI (literally just bro fucking you in a mating press but sweetly lmao)

“hold these for me.”

satoru’s body weight presses into you, folding at your knees. shaky hands wrap around the underside of your thighs, pulling them flush to your chest.

“that’s it, just like that,” he smiles through the praise. “you’re doing so good for me, so, so good.”

everything in your body feels hot, despite the brisk morning air making its way into your bedroom. maybe it’s your own blood pumping faster with each erratic beat, maybe it’s the sweat collecting in the space between you, maybe it’s the way he now hits deeper at this new angle until all you can do is take it. your heart struggles to contract when you feel him in your lungs.

“you feel fucking incredible, you’re divine, you’re everything.”

satoru was always a talker, but you don’t mind his voice. it keeps you grounded, it reminds you not to let go. the grip on your legs tightens.

little cries of “oh fuck” or “so good” leave his lips, warm words landing in your ears.

you can tell he’s getting close by the way they lose their shape, morphing into incoherent whines.

and of course, by the way his hips stutter.

at this point he’s rutting into you, paceless and greedy. his hands find purchase on any part of your skin he can grab, as if he could pull you into him and keep you there, as if he could possibly go any deeper.

your legs are starting to burn, stretched to their limits, but you pull harder, inviting him in. deeper, and deeper, and deeper. you can’t help the moans slipping from your throat with each thrust, and he swallows them with a grin.

hair tickles your cheek when he buries himself into your neck.

he doesn’t have to announce anything beyond the soft whispers of “i love you” muttered into your skin - his cock twitching inside you is enough. as he fills you, warmth spreads through your body, blanketed under him.

your legs relax and sink into the bed, your now-free hands cradling him. one traces up his spine, the other running through his hair. he melts into you, a fluid in the shape of satoru.

your lips rest on his forehead, his skin warm.

a/n: i promise i’ll write long things again ckdkckdkckdkdk i’m working on nnn it will be done soon i promise i promise i promise

[starlightoru-gojo]

Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man 😉

The Gojo Parker continues 🫶🏻 credits to @/ aliyartss on IG

[yujisdreamgirl]

as the speakers blasted bass boosted music, you sit on the couch with a red cup in your hand, rationing the drink in it because you’re too afraid to go up to the bar alone.

it’s a bit crowded, your friends on the dance floor while you just watch other people rubbing up against each other. not an ideal way to spend your weekend when you have exams coming up but oh well, yolo.

you’re not much of a party person, well- you’ve tried to become one but it just didn’t work. not when it felt awkward to dance and everyone ignored you in conversations. you’ve never felt so unseen.

that was, until…

you felt the couch sink on your right side. you turn your head to see the one and only—“Most Popular” Playboy—Satoru Gojo.

you panic internally, why is he here?!

“hey,” you nod back in response to his greeting, visibly confused on why he’s talking to you—the girl he’s been basically in all of the same classes with since high school but has never uttered a word to?

“you here alone?” you hum in disagreement. he looks out to the crowd of dancers then back at you. “where are your friends?”

okay, now you’re really confused. why is he asking you all of these questions? is this a prank? “oh, uhm.. they’re on the dance floor.” he nods, then eyes your figure up and down.

“i like your ring, it’s from ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’ right?” your eyes light up, you definitely did not expect that. you stutter a bit before letting out a quiet mhm. he asked you to repeat it, and you just nodded. he smiles at you and suddenly you understand why every girl falls for— no, no. no you don’t. you’re not falling for this propaganda!!

“what other animes do you like?”

—

you step into the room upstairs, entering what looked and felt like being at an anime shop. blue walls, posters everywhere, displays of action figures in glass boxes… who knew this popular frat guy would be such a geek??

you spot various pieces of fiction, such as digimon, ghibli movies, 2000s romcoms, resident evil, and so much more!!!

“didn’t take you for a romcom guy.” he chuckles, sitting at the edge of his bed. “yeah, i don’t think anyone does.”

you hum then gasp at his displayed pokémon cards. “is that the pikachu illustrator?! how the hell did you acquire such a rare card??” he chuckles and explains how he got it, he’s rich obviously!

—

the night was long. the speakers still blare from downstairs, but you and gojo talked about the same interests for hours. this definitely wasn’t on your bucket list, ‘befriending’ the most popular guy in school history who also happens to be super similar to you??

in gojo’s eyes, he’s never met a girl like you. call him teruhashi from saiki k because everyone is all over him. he’s never even had a relationship or involved himself in hookups despite being known as a ‘playboy.’ but tonight.. tonight seemed genuine—like you’re not just another person who’s trying to get in his pants.

it can be tiring. despite there being people who would kill to be him, all he wants is someone he can settle down with for life. someone who’s not there for the money or the popularity, but for him. and that’s exactly how he feels about you. 4 hour conversations about films and niche interests? yes please.

his fantasy was cut off by the sound of a ringing phone—of course it was your friends. why did you have to leave the party just because they want to?

“i have to go, it was great talking to you though!” he grips the sheets as you smile, god you were adorable. he waves goodbye, sinking into the sheets as you closed the door behind you.

he’s definitely gonna search for you on campus tomorrow.

͙͘͡★ divider by @cafekitsune 🍡

[niftysaurus]

sukugo doodle that has been rotting in my drafts for a year

[404-mort]

Howdy! | Cowboy Gojo 🐄

Twitter | Instagram

[mia-can-yap-too]

We're Married. Please Take It Seriously.

synopsis :- Accidental marriage in Vegas. He's already planning your honeymoon. You're Googling annulment in the hotel bathroom.

warnings:- accidental marriage au, fluff, crack, sfw, mentions of drinking, mentions of making officiants cry, an anora reference

a/n:- there are no actual laws stating that you have to wait a certain period of time before annulling an invalid (done while intoxicated) marriage, but this is MY fic, and i decide whats real also even though no one would ever want it, pls dont steal my pngs

You wake up with the unmistakable feeling that you've made a very big mistake.

Your head is pounding. Your mouth tastes of regret and red 40 from an artificially flavored slushie. You're not even sure if the clothes you're wearing are even yours.

The blackout curtains are drawn tight, but a faint glow still manages to seep through. And from somewhere nearby, you can hear humming.

Not just any humming.

His humming.

Gojo Satoru's humming. Your sometimes-teamate, full-time menace, part-time flirt.

Groaning, you crack open an eye to see him lounging beside you, lying down facing you with his head propped up on his arm, adorned in a silk robe (which you are 90% sure is yours) and sunglasses that say 'I DO (what i want)'.

He grins widely when he notices you're awake.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gojo~," he says, in the singsong voice of someone who has never given a fuck about consequences.

You rub your eyes. "Satoru, what are you wearing— wait... What did you just call me?!"

You bolt upright, eyes wide as if you've just been told you grew a second head.

Instead of answering, he pulls his phone out, which has a 'Married in Vegas!!' sticker on the case, and turns it around to show you a selfie. Specifically, a selfie of the two of you standing in front of a neon sign that reads,

'JUST GOT MARRIED!'

You're grinning like an idiot while he's kissing your cheek like his life depends on it. You appear to be holding a slushie in one hand and his face in the other.

"No. No way. That's photoshopped. That can't be me. I am not that reckless... right?"

"Aw, I knew you'd say that," he starts swiping, "But! Not to worry, I have video evidence. You proposed to me, by the way."

The screen lights up again: you standing up on a makeshift altar, still holding the red-40-slushie and his face. He's looking at you as if you hung the stars. Who's recording? Someone nice enough to return the phone.

"Listen," Drunk You slurs, "This man has six eyes or something, a limitless bank account, and he called me pretty three times in ten minutes. I am not letting that go."

The officiant wipes a tear. "So beautiful..."

You both take turns putting Ring Pops on each others fingers.

"With the power of those creepy-ass blue eyes and your god-like thighs, I take you to be my husband," you say before kissing him.

The crowd (???) cheers. Someone off camera asks where the bathroom is. The video ends.

Speechless, you just stare at the dark screen in shock.

Satoru, however, is still smiling like he got crowned king. "See? It was so heartwarming. You called me your 'limitless little meow meow' after. I think I giggled a little."

"NO!"

"Yes! Also," he continues, "you filed out the paperwork perfectly. I was impressed. Sober enough to read legal text, drunk enough to put a heart over your 'i' in your signature. This must be true love."

You cover your face with your hands, hoping it would protect you from the humiliation. "I don't love you!"

"Yes, you do! You said so, yesterday!"

"I loved you for what, 3.5 tequila shots?"

He nods earnestly. "If you married me in 3.5, imagine what you would have done if you had 5."

You flop back onto bed and scream into a pillow.

He, of course, is totally digging the dramatics. He thinks he chose perfectly, his 'freak' matched and all.

He pokes your shoulder. "Okay, so, pancakes or crepes?"

You lift your head slowly. "What."

"For brunch," he says, beaming. "We're newlyweds. We have to do brunch."

"Gojo, we have bigger problems than brunch here."

You find yourself in the hotel bathroom. You've been hogging it for a suspicious amount of time.

You cradle your phone in your hands, eyes tearing up from im-so-done-with-this-shit tears.

You've been Googling annulment, but the results are, unfortunately, too cheerful to help.

A reddit link reads, 'r/vegas married! i got married to a twink in vegas but its okay cuz thats how i met the loml!'

Yeah, not helping.

A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts.

"Are you okay in there, my legally wedded darling?"

"Do not call me that," you hiss.

"Wait," he gasps dramatically. "You're not Googling annulments in there, are you?!"

Silence.

"...I can hear you typing. It's kinda cute."

You run a hand down your face. "Leave me alone, Satoru."

"No can do. Husbandly duties. Vows and all."

"There were no vows."

"We made them up! You said you'd fight God, the higher-ups, and fate if it meant keeping me." A pause. "Honestly, I swooned a little."

You groan once more and rest your head against the bathroom door. "This isn't real. This can't be real."

"I know it probably sounds so impossible to you that you managed to bag the strongest, awesome-est and most handsome sorcerer ever, but I assure you, this is legal AF."

You crack the door open to peak at him. He's lounging on the bed as if he owns it. He's still wearing the shitty sunglasses and your robe (which you're making a mental note to take back), but he still looks so... ethereal, somehow. The sunlight hits him in a way that has to have some divine intervention.

"I was drunk."

"We were determined."

"I'm annulling this."

He chuckles a little. "You cute little dummy, you need to wait at least 6 months to do that!"

"...what."

He nods his head like he's trying to reassure a child. "Yeah... marriage laws are crazy. Guess you're stuck with me."

You sink on the bed, head in your hands and all.

Satoru wraps his arms around you and rests his head on your shoulder, which you'll admit, kind of gave you butterflies.

"Don't worry, I'm not that bad! And besides, I've already changed your contact name to 'My Wife <3' and ordered us matching hoodies."

You look at him questionably.

"Relax, they're completely normal, I think. Mine says 'Husband of the Century' and yours says 'Mrs Gojo' so no one gets confused."

You stare. He stares back, utterly unserious.

"So... brunch?"

You sigh, wondering who the fuck you just married. "Fine."

"Okie!! I'm telling Ijichi to book us a table."

"Wait—What?! He knows?"

"Everyone knows. I already posted on the 'gram. Anyways, you don't need to worry, Ijichi is great at brunch reservations. He's got talent bestowed from God. You're gonna love it."

"Fine. But you're paying." You get up to get ready.

He smirks, not hiding the way he's checking you out even in your messy-just-got-out-of-bed-and-simultaneously-found-out-im-married look.

"I'm your husband. I'll always pay."

Ah Shit! Here We Go Again Masterlist

[sanemistar]

starstruck m.list ★ jjk m.list

★ influencer!satoru, who has millions of dedicated loyal fans and followers, you included. shares one of your songs in one of his stories. so you, an unknown rookie idol, wake up one morning to discover that the same song is going viral on the internet. everyone expresses their love for it and praises you for being so talented. finally, your hard work has paid off and it’s all thanks to satoru and the great influence of his. your jaw is left wide open when you check your notifications, you even refresh the page to make sure it’s not just a glitch.

satorugojo started following you.

[dollbrbie]

♡ ⸝⸝ IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO SAVE LIVES

featuring. neurosurgeon!gojo | smut mdni, repost :p

neurosurgeon!gojo who you unknowingly meet in a bar on the night before your first day at your new job as a surgical intern. you didn’t really intend to get as drunk as you did, and you didn’t intend to kiss the really cute guy at the bar who had your attention all night. but, you more than definitely didn’t intend to bring him back to your apartment

“oh- fuck.”, you mewl as he continues pounding into your overstimulated pussy, his hand wrapped gently around your neck with the other roughly grabbing onto the plush of your hips. his brows were furrowed as he chases both of your highs with his own faint whimpers, his movements just so perfectly hitting your g-spot as you wrap your legs around his waist and throwing your head back because of the pure euphoria this man you had just met was giving you

neurosurgeon!gojo who wakes up in your bed the next morning, feeling so confused after you just shook his peacefully sleeping figure awake, ranting on at him

“so yeah, you need to leave.”, was the only thing he managed to clock onto after you had been rambling on about something. being late for your first day of work was it? all while he was still figuring out where he was for a second. he thinks you’re cute, though, trying to rush him out of your apartment. can’t say he’s ever had that happen to him before

neurosurgeon!gojo who does eventually leave after you got into the shower with you thinking that was it and you’d never see this ridiculously attractive stranger again

neurosurgeon!gojo who is described as a genius on your first day at work as a surgical intern, as one of the best surgeons in the country. some even would go as far to say the world. you were just so excited to meet and potentially work with him! especially with your interest to specialise in neurosurgery

neurosurgeon!gojo who makes some time in his busy schedule to talk to all the new surgical interns as head of neurosurgery and give some insight and advice to his new colleagues

neurosurgeon!gojo who sees you as he’s talking, his breath caught in his throat and stumbling on his words which go unnoticed by absolutely no one. you sharply inhale, knowing you had just slept with the head of neurosurgery just twelve hours ago - god, was this gonna cause a conflict of interest?

“oh my god, do you know the dr. gojo?”, one of your fellow interns ask as you feel your face heat up in embarrassment, shaking your head and pretending like you’ve never seen this man, when the night before he was eight inches deep inside you

neurosurgeon!gojo who after the talk with the interns, pulls you to the side with a cheeky grin on his face as he mentions the night before while you stand there awkwardly with your hands clasped together

neurosurgeon!gojo who then shamelessly asks you out to dinner, only to be met with your furrowed brows and stern voice telling him that it was inappropriate. he was basically your boss, who was several years older than you at that. not to mention that you’d both get fired if anyone was to find out

neurosurgeon!gojo who takes your rejection as a game, continuing to flirt with you shamelessly any chance he got despite the eye rolls and heavy sighs you met him with

neurosurgeon!gojo who chases you for the next month, even letting you assist in his surgeries after finding out how interested in neurosurgery you were. you wondered if he was simply playing favourites

“did you let me assist because we slept together?”, you ask bluntly, just ripping the bandaid off. “hm? yes i did.”, he admits with a shrug. “do you not realise how inappropriate that is?”, you scoff. “well, that’s what you wanted me to say, wasn’t it? that i chose you because you’re my favourite.” there’s a pause, “i chose you because i thought you were the most capable. believe it or not, i know how to do my job.”

neurosurgeon!gojo who you soon realise isn’t as bad as you originally thought as you continue working with him, his cocky demeanour slipping every so often where you see a genuinely selfless and kind hearted man who just simply wants to save lives

neurosurgeon!gojo who asks you out for a drink, one drink, he says, simply to celebrate a successful surgery on a case that had a 20% chance of survival after your assist with him

neurosurgeon!gojo who is so delightfully surprised when you say yes, his constant days of chasing you finally moving in the direction he wanted, even if it was minimal

neurosurgeon!gojo who ends up buying you both multiple drinks, just as you knew would happen. the both of you were so giggly as you stumble out the bar together, your hand resting on his chest whilst his arm was wrapped around your shoulder

neurosurgeon!gojo who decides to take his chances, the liquid courage definitely hitting his head a little too hard, and pulls you in slowly as he places a small and sweet kiss on your lips, completely taking you by surprise

neurosurgeon!gojo who apologises profusely once he sees your shocked reaction, thinking he’s just fucked up the good night you both were having together

neurosurgeon!gojo who is shut up by you, pulling his shirt so he’s down to your level and roughly kissing him again, the previous worries you had before completely gone and the only thing on your mind was him, and just maybe that mind blowing sex he gave you the first night you met

“take me home?”, you ask as gojo catches on to the real meaning behind your words, smiling to himself as he nods with butterflies in his stomach. maybe his hard work flirting with you had finally paid off

© dollbrbie | don’t plagiarise or translate any of my work

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

first class liar: no camera

ch101

masterlist

-okay gojo i see you 😛😛😛😛😛😛

-sukuna is smth else idk why i wrote him like that don’t ask.

-need shoko BAD. give me one chance babygirl i wont waste it trust me. TRUST ME!!!!!!!

-sighs.

-hey look i didn’t take a week to post another chapter r u proud of me

LINK TO A MASTERLIST OF HELP LINKS FOR PALESTINE, CONGO, AND SUDAN

taglist!🐺

@shokosbunny @veevei @jayathelostdragon @luvvnightingalee @basically-an-anime-stan-acct @laughingfcx @kiss-my-asscheeks @js-a-silly-little-guy @stillnotherapy @ynverse @leaderwon @meekydeeks @unfortunately-a-jjksimp @sweetlyvibe @lulumi1u @elegancefr @tobaccosunbxrst @juliiizh @satoae @prentisswig @azharyy @nanamiswifes @st4rdusttx @iluv-ace @lvrlamp @aestheticallyvini @tranzumaki @blk-barbz @vivianne666 @mixzimi @nugget-eater123-2

[madaqueue]

18+ MDNI - f!reader (nasty freak boy who cums too early...i love him)

virgin!satoru who thinks he’s going to die. genuinely, he thinks his heart is about to explode out of his chest and his last memory will be the way you stare down at him with those lust-blown eyes and that awe-struck smile. why else would he be shaking like this, covered in a layer of sweat and lightheaded to the point his vision is swirling?

“are you ready, satoru?” is the only thing he can make out above the ringing in his ears - how can he tell you he only has a few moments to live when your legs are spread like this and he’s so hard it fucking hurts?

virgin!satoru who is the farthest fucking thing from ‘ready’ but he’d rather die than disappoint you, so he’s at least got to try.

with an unsteady hand he swipes the tip of his cock up and down your slit, watching the way the light sparkles with how wet you are, for him.

“you can put it in, baby,” and he fucking groans, he can barely look at you when you talk to him like that, all syrupy sweet and thick and dripping.

virgin!satoru who finally, finally, pushes himself past your entrance. his eyes are locked on the way you swallow his length, the way he’s so hot he can’t breathe, can’t get enough air in because it all smells like you.

virgin!satoru who cums before he even bottoms out. he’s trembling and whining and it only gets worse when your hands find his shoulders and pull him into you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, fuck-”

“it’s okay,” you coo, and he’s so fucking warm, and he’s grateful he can’t see the smile on your face because he thinks it might actually make his heart stop.

virgin!satoru who straightens his back, slowly pulls his cock out of you and watches in awe as his cum leaks down your thighs, who can’t stop himself from smearing it through your folds with his thumb, who doesn’t miss the way your pussy clenches as he does.

virgin!satoru who’s already hard again, who no longer cares if he’s dying because this must be heaven, who stares back at you with wild, unfocused eyes as he says, “i think…i think i’m ready now.”

a/n: i think i blacked out from lust writing this

[yourname-exee]

Gojo's wife is calm, collected and well all around mature, much like Nanami. So when someone was taken by surprise that your last name was Gojo and not Nanami, that was the first time Satoru Gojo felt true heart break, his throat closed up and he thought he was about to blast this person into the sun. Is this what seeing red is like?

Buut of course his very sweet and understanding wife, simply placed herself into his side, hand pressing against his chest running it up and down as you say gently.

'Nope, this tall handsome fella is my husband.'

With the proudest smile on your face Satoru couldn't stay upset for long especially when you looked up at him with those soft eyes, he hooks his arm around your waist before standing up straighter a smile spreading across his lips, a cheeky smile some would say, as he responded with.

'That's right.'

(divider made by @adornedwithlight )

[thefemmefatalexo]

Gojo SMAU - The Art of Falling Fake

Chapter 8 - The Art of Stealing the Spotlight

Summary: The campus buzzes with life, but you feel like a shadow slipping through the cracks—unnoticed, unimportant. At home, it’s no better. Your parents dote on your step-sister, the star tennis player, while you’re the afterthought they barely acknowledge. She’s here too, her perfect reputation casting an even bigger shadow over your existence. College was supposed to be your escape, but living at home and walking the same halls as her makes it impossible. Then he shows up—Satoru Gojo, the rich, arrogant engineering major everyone seems to worship. His smug grin and effortless charm are the kind of things you can’t stand, but when a ridiculous twist of fate forces your lives together, you find yourself fake dating the most insufferable man you’ve ever met. It’s just a deal, temporary and harmless—or so you try to convince yourself.

an: what do y‘all think about this whole gossip page thing? SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 7} ; {next}

taglist: @hanakotateyama @sleepykittyenergy @inthedarkshadows000 @codeseven @byakuya61085 @minzxec @ivydoesit23 @naughteehee @not-aya @bochichi @emlient @gojoprincess @havingnonamesucks @n1vi @linny-bloggs @surethingmoto

[kumimi3]

₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Imagine Influencer!Gojo Satoru making a video of you doing his skincare as he stood torso naked in front of you, showing off his Herculean body to the camera. Oh how much he keeps giving u those 'I wanna fuck you' eyes when u would pat the moisturizer on his cheeks, or spread the serum that almost looks like cum--And with that in mind--He makes sure you know he's horny when he smirks and holds your finger to spread the product all over his face that has you remembering him eating you out the night before. It was so intimate and hot, and his fans were sure to make comments about it all over the internet once Satoru posts it on his account, buttttttttt, he'll edit the video later once he finishes fucking u raw in bed until the sun goes up and your hole takes the shape of his dick.

[cuntphoric]

tag list; @madamechrissy, @cumtoru, @jjk-on-crack, @girlieintheblackdress, @dayndream, @loafteaw, @takumasimp,@keyarehuh, @ditzydizzie, @angelicremains0, @keyarehuh, @rahhhhhhhhhh24, @stargurl-01

ask me from my inbox or like if you wanna be added ^_^

[mia-can-yap-too]

I was going to enter and hesitantly send a thirst but then I got infected

I just want your thoughts, how do you think Suguru/any jjk character would reject reader(you). The causes in my head are to make me cry only so I’ll let you decide 😋

This is the first time ive gotten something like this (ily rome marry me pls) and i dont do angst often so i hope i got it right

warnings :- angst, mentions of death, somewhat canon compliant

Geto Suguru

he dismisses your affection as naivety

believes that youre only clinging to the ghost of who he used to be

"Don't look at me like I'm still the man you want me to be."

believes love is a weakness, and you're even weaker for wanting it, let alone with him

calls your feelings a 'liability'

makes sure you know how delusional he thinks you are

deep down inside, though, he thinks that if you confessed sooner, if you hadn't taken as much time, he could've loved you too

Gojo Satoru

he tries to deflect with sarcasm first, but would grow colder if you keeping pushing

"You don't love me, you just love the idea of me."

in reality, since he's burdened by so much power, he scared of losing people

he believes that letting people close is a death sentence for them

he sees rejecting you as a form of mercy

ignores you for a good couple weeks after

then goes back to 'normal'

maybe if he ignores your feelings, they'll stop existing, right?

Toji Fushiguro

in my mind, his first wife was the only one for him

he doesnt move on after her and probably wont catch feelings for others after

sure, he'll sleep around, but theyre nothing but placeholders to him

thats what you are to him too

if you confessed he would laugh in your face

"Oh, you want to fix me? Get in line. Then, get out the way."

directly tells you to find someone who'll give a fuck about your feelings

leaves abruptly, not interested in any further conversation

Nanami Kento

he believes that he cant offer the stability you deserve while living the jujutsu life

"My days are numbered. I refuse to let you waste yours on someone who already knows how it ends."

hes gentle but firm

he walks away quietly after, knowing its for the best but still being burdened by the decision

internally wishes you had met in a different life, where the world wasnt so unjust

Sukuna Ryomen

hes mocking and demeaning

"What made you think I was capable of something as pathetic as love?"

mocks your feelings mercilessly. no empathy, no hesitation.

says he doesnt care about anyone, least of all you

dismisses your feelings, says you're nothing to him

if you cry, he smirks. if you get angry, he'll laugh

he rejects nor just you, but also the concept of being cared for