#jungwon oneshots | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nwjws · 7 months

Text

in my head - yjw

; pairing - jungwon x fem!reader

; synopsis - you’ve hated jungwon ever since you two met on the train to hogwarts back in first year; he’s self-centered, lazy, and always coming out for you. now in your seventh year, you’ve been named head girl (woohoo!). unfortunately, the head boy position was given to the one and only yang jungwon (boohoo…). with no other choice, you’re forced to face the annoyingly attractive boy and work with him for the rest of the year - if you can even last that long.

; tags - fluff, angst, crack, ravenclaw! headboy!jungwon, slytherin! headgirl!reader, rivals to lovers, enemies to lovers, hogwarts au (with a modern twist), bc they have tablets and stuff

; warnings - a little bit of swearing, a lot of hostility between yn and jw, lmk if i missed anything!

; wc - 12.9k words (umm.... have fun!)

teaser

everyone’s eyes are on you as you stand up at the front of the great hall while the headmaster - professor bang si hyuk - introduces you as this year’s head girl. looking at all the students staring back up at you, you almost feel proud of yourself (keyword: almost).

you’d think someone would be overjoyed at being acknowledged and recognised enough to have been given such a high position, but you aren’t.

instead, you’re silently fuming, just barely keeping your temper in check as you plaster a fake smile on your face. your eye twitches as you hear a low chuckle from-

“the head boy, yang jungwon!” the headmaster announces. cheers erupt from around the room, all clapping for their new heads.

“i can feel the waves of anger practically radiating off of you,” he murmured quietly.

yang jungwon.

the boy you despised so much.

listen, you don’t really hate anyone, but you’re pretty sure that what you feel towards the boy you called ‘yang’ is close enough.

in all your six years at hogwarts, you two have constantly been at each other’s throats. arguments often broke out between you in corridors; fights wherein one would end up stupefied or thrown against the wall; even little sabotages against each other that were subtle enough that teachers could pass off as an accident or your own fault rather than the other’s.

for example, back in third year, yang had tripped you on your way into the great hall after everyone got off the hogwarts express. you had flashed everyone behind you and scraped your knee when you landed on the ground.

although no one saw him do it, you immediately knew who the culprit was, especially when he smirked down at you over his shoulder as he walked ahead. oh how badly you wanted to slap that smile off his face in the moment.

you retaliated the next week by mixing his white laundry with red clothes, so he was forced to attend his classes with pink uniform until he got new shirts. nothing satisfied you more than the glares he sent your way throughout the first day of his pink week, you could feel him boring holes into the back of your head even when you weren’t looking.

making your way back to the slytherin table, you thought back to when you got that fateful letter a few weeks back.

you slid the window open after spotting an owl from afar flying towards your house.

the bird flew in gracefully, and dropped your letter from hogwarts on the kitchen island counter, accepting the treats offered from your hand.

“y/n, please. close the window, would you? it’s so windy outside - it’s blowing away my papers!” your mother scolded from her seat at the table.

“sorry, my bad! i just got my grades.”

“ah really? let’s see it then.”

you scanned the letter, satisfied to see an O on all your subjects. although they weren’t your final NEWTS grades, they were an indication of how you did throughout sixth year according to teachers’ assessments.

you’d been nervous at seeing anything below an O, but your friends had told you not to worry all summer.

“you’ve never dropped from the top rank in our year ever since first year, why would you now?”

“hiyyih, it’s only because of how much i’ve studied, but what if the expectations this year are higher? what if it’s not enough? what if i spent too many free periods sitting with you guys by the lake instead of-“

“be for real, you only did that twice! you’re the only person who’s actually spent their free periods studying,” rei said.

“well that’s what they’re supposed to be used for!”

“who actually does that! besides you, of course.”

“rei’s right, even yang jungwon often spends his frees with his friends.”

“that’s why he’s number 2,” you roll your eyes. “maybe if he studied during his frees, he’d finally get that number 1 spot he's been telling me he'd get for years.”

“it’s the fact he doesn’t have to study as hard to easily get second top student in our year. besides, weren’t you just worrying about not being first this time ‘round?”

that set you off into another episode of wailing and worrying about your results.

reading the letter, your eyes zeroed in on a shiny gold badge attached to the bottom.

dear kim y/n, we are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as head girl for this upcoming academic year. you will be working alongside the head boy, yang jungwon, and all prefects across the four houses. you and the head boy’s duties will be relayed to you after the sorting ceremony. congratulations once again, you are well deserving of the title. sincerely, headmaster bang si hyuk

you still remember your mother questioning you after watching your figure suddenly go from jumping around the kitchen all giddy, to sulkily dragging your feet to the table.

of course, you were honoured to be picked, but did they really have to choose your enemy as your partner? i mean, the whole school knows about your rivalry, and you guys have been told off countless times by teachers! so was this really a smart idea?

when the ceremony ended, one of the professors led you and yang to the head dormitories.

(a “benefit” of being one of the heads was getting your own room, separate from your own house dorms. but you’d still be sharing the common room with yang, so that wasn’t exactly the biggest plus in your books.)

“as you can see, you will have separate private rooms, each with their own bathroom,” the professor pointed at the doors on opposite sides of the common room.

“but you two will share this living space. there’s a little library in the corner as well.

“now for rules..." he started listing a bunch of obvious rules - like what's allowed in the head dorms and what isn't, when you can bring your friends, etc.

“and last but not least, you aren’t allowed in each other’s private quarters,” he paused before glancing at both students. “although, i don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

he’s right there, you thought bitterly.

the idea of even sharing the common room with the boy irked you, let alone entering his own room. you could only imagine all the stupid tricks he was planning on you right now - but you were doing the same.

after the whole ordeal, the professor finally left you two alone, but not before telling you that you should start planning out the prefects’ patrolling schedules so that you could meet up with them as soon as possible.

you and yang stared at each other for a moment, apprehension hanging in the air. this is the first time you two have directly looked each other in the eye tonight.

“so… i guess we should get to sorting out those schedules,” he breaks the silence, gesturing to the scroll of names in your hands, which the professor had left with you.

nodding, you followed him to the large table in the middle of the room, where you’d hold a meeting with the prefects tomorrow morning.

“here’s the list of all the prefects, plus their student ID numbers.”

“okay, we can use those to add them all into a group chat on hog-messages and inform them of the meeting tomorrow.”

one of the newer developments at hogwarts in recent years was the addition of electronic tablets given to every student, so they’d be able to communicate faster with each other. it had an app programmed within it called ‘hog-messages’ where students could message each other or their teachers, and create group chats, all activity being monitored by staff.

the tablets also allowed the students to be able to write notes down on it, but most teachers often preferred all homework to be written on paper scrolls anyway.

all this was provided by yang enterprises.

yup. yang was the son of the wizard who introduced muggle electronic devices into the wizarding world, instantly boosting their family into riches and success.

the world was given to him on a silver platter, so he’s always had it easy. and unfortunately for you, the boy not only grew up snobby and privileged, but was smart too.

coming from the muggle world, you entered the wizarding world with an open mind. despite this, you hated the ravenclaw almost as soon as you met him.

his ego was high up through the roof way before he’d even been placed in the house, and he emanated a strong intimidating aura. as soon as yang saw you on that hogwarts train, he turned his nose up at you like you were dirt before you’d even spoken a word to each other.

nonetheless, you managed to work out a schedule together smoothly. but the lack of clashing heads for once put you on edge, you felt like something was just wrong.

“alright, i’ve sent a message to the group,” he said, staring at his screen.

“okay…” you trailed off, unsure what to say. “um, let’s be civil this year, yang,” you say instead, putting a hand out.

the boy looked up at you, before glancing down at your hand then laughed in disbelief. as if you had said you were going to run 100 laps around the castle.

“duh, i knew that when i got the letter. that doesn’t need to be said. are you an idiot?”

now it was you who stared at him in disbelief. there’s the yang you know.

lowering your hand, you scoffed and stormed into your room, which was luckily closer so you didn't have to spend another second looking at his pretty face.

you should have known nothing would ever change. you can’t believe you almost thought that yang had changed. of course he’d never grow up, maybe he was just made this way.

on the other hand, the return of his ugly personality brought you some comfort. it was just something you were more familiar with. you weren’t used to the driven and focused attitude he had on earlier when sorting out the schedule, and you’d prefer to keep it that way.

unpacking your bags and showering before changing into pajamas, you set an alarm for 6:30am, so you’d have time for the meeting at 7:30 and can end it before classes began at 8. you went to bed feeling prepared for tomorrow.

the next morning however, you woke up late.

the sunlight seeped in through the curtains, and after a moment, you checked your phone for the time.

8:34am

crap.

you practically jumped out of bed and began to frantically get ready, pulling on the first shirt and skirt you could grab from your closet.

why hadn’t your alarm woken you up? you set the alarm two hours earlier. had you accidentally typed 630 into the calculator app instead from a tiring day?

however, when you check your alarm clock, you saw that it had been turned off. although, you clearly remember pressing save and checking that it was on before tucking yourself into bed.

you pause as you brush your hair, your thoughts coming to a stop.

it was yang, you realised.

is this his idea of civil? you wonder what he's on as you slip on your uniform in panic.

quickly brushing your teeth, you put on your tie as you ran out the room, a chill hits you when you remembered the prefects’ meeting you were supposed to have this morning.

oh my god, they probably think i'm an irresponsible head girl. there’s no doubt the bad impression being late on your first day as head girl would leave on not only the students, but the teachers as well.

will they revoke your position? will they give the badge to another, more responsible girl? who preferably doesn’t have beef with the head boy?

you cringed at the thought you might be punished because of something entirely yang’s fault, and he’d get away with it. as he always does.

you ran down the moving stairs, almost slipping off the edge when it suddenly changed paths, towards your first class as you cursed out the head boy in your mind.

but soon enough, nervousness took over as you neared the classroom.

there was only about 15 minutes left of the period, so was it even worth it to go? and besides, yang was in this class too. you’d hate to see the gloating smirk on his face when you enter and get scolded by the professor.

before you could decide however, the door opened, revealing the very boy you’d been planning revenge on all morning.

yang didn’t look surprised to see you there, evident by the grin on his face.

he faked a shocked tone though, when he announced your presence to the professor (and the whole class).

it goes without saying that you definitely had a bad morning, being held back in class for another half hour to make up for what you missed that morning.

thankfully, you had a free period next, so you weren’t missing your next class this time.

although you hated yang jungwon with every fibre of your being, you weren’t a snitch. you wouldn’t dare expose him - mostly because it would be useless. who would really believe you, when you were already messing up so early in the year? and certainly not when it accused the school’s beloved heartthrob.

so you took your punishment on without a complaint, pointedly ignoring yang the rest of the day, who didn’t even try to hide his smile.

you sighed as you made notes on griffin claw substitutes, all alone in the potions classroom.

september and october rolled by; even though you and yang continued your little pranks and tricks on each other, you guys managed your head duties just fine. he did his work and never slacked, so you were satisfied.

you had gotten your revenge on yang by charming his wand to vibrate uncontrollably two days later. you remember barely being able to hold in your laugh as you watched him struggle to conjure a flock of birds, an explosion of feathers popping from the tip instead.

from what you heard, he also struggled in his other classes you didn’t share, which delighted you to no end.

“what are you skipping around all giddy about?” hiyyih asked you sceptically.

“just that yang seems to be struggling in herbology class, according to jang wonyoung.”

“what did you do?” rei eyed suspiciously.

“how could you accuse me of doing something?” you gasped.

“it’s pretty obvious - head boy and student #2 wouldn’t just struggle in a class he’s always done well in,” minji shrugged.

you rolled your eyes at your friends, but then smiled cheekily when you admitted how you’d snuck into his room that morning and cast a charm on his wand with a spell that would only stop after twenty-four hours.

“okay, that’s pretty funny. i’m gonna have to ask wony about it later,” rei laughed.

your phone buzzed, and upon checking it, you were surprised to see a text from the one and only yang jungwon.

Hog-Messages YANG JUNGWON (ID: 78395) professor kim wants to see us

“speak of the devil,” you tell your friends and show them your screen.

you watched as the three glanced at each other, equally surprised.

“wow, a text! from yang jungwon! and it’s not some evil curse or cryptic message!” hiyyih remarked, which you nodded to in agreement.

rei laughed. “you guys act like he’s incapable of simple communication; he’s just relaying a message.”

“sometimes rei, i think he is,” you joked.

YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 professor kim wants to see us

KIM Y/N ID: 78384 when?

YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 after classes today at his office

KIM Y/N ID: 78384 ofc it’s at his office, you think he’d want to meet us in the restrooms?

YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 i hope u fall off your broom on the pitch also come un-charm my wand or something right now.

KIM Y/N ID: 78384 can’t 🤷‍♀️ sux 2 b u

"honestly, if i didn't know better, i'd think you two had a hate-love relationship," minji teased.

"ew, anything above dislike is something i will never feel for yang jungwon," you scrunched your nose in distaste. how could minji even think something like that?

"whatever," she snickered.

arriving in front of the professor’s office door, you opened it to find jungwon already inside and seated on one of the chairs opposite the teacher’s desk. you bowed in greeting before taking the other empty seat.

“so,” professor kim started. “we need to talk about your behaviour as the head students.”

you gulped. had you done something wrong? were those threats to revoke your position on the first day real?

looking over at your co-partner, his face was unreadable, as always. he looked perfectly calm, which infuriated you.

“as head boy and girl, you two are setting the standard for the rest of the school. you guys are supposed to be role models. but i’m sure you already know this.” professor kim paused and looked at both of you intently before continuing.

“so why is it i’m finding out that you two have not been doing your patrols together?”

oh. so that’s what this is about.

you and yang had completed one patrol session together on the first week of school, and it’s safe to say that it was… horrific. without going into too much detail, you guys had practically argued the whole two hours that night; although it was unlikely, if there were any couples making out or young students causing trouble, they probably heard you two from a mile away and hid before they were caught.

at the end of the night, you both agreed that you’d just swap your schedules and patrol with other prefects - possibly the only thing you two had ever agreed on.

“we weren’t aware that we had to patrol together,” you replied when the head boy was clearly not going to speak up first. what a pussy.

it was a lie; you guys obviously knew that head students were supposed to patrol together. having been prefects in previous years, you knew how things worked. it was why you had done the first patrol together after all.

but you figured that since it wasn’t a specifically given instruction, you didn’t actually have to do it together.

professor kim stared at you two incredulously for a moment, his expression somewhere between exasperation and disbelief. a pool of anxiousness swirled in your stomach at the way he sighed and pinched his nose bridge frustratedly.

“listen, i don’t know what si-hyuk was thinking when he had chosen you two as the heads, given your history and all. but he chose you. so please show that you’re worthy of the title - let go of your childish rivalry. otherwise, we may actually have to find new head students.”

“you could just let go of her, professor. i’d be able to work with any other girl,” yang finally spoke up. of course the first thing he'd say is an insult.

you gasped and glared at him.

“clearly, you’re the one who’s childish and immature here. maybe you should be the one to get replaced.”

“enough!” the teacher slammed his hands on the desk. “if you two keep this act up, we will not hesitate to replace you both.”

and so with that, you and yang left the office in uncomfortable silence. not a word was spoken between you until just before you parted ways.

“guess we’ll use the old schedule again,” he said. you nodded.

being the end of the day, you were both too tired to argue. the heavy workload that comes with NEWTS in addition to the responsibilities of your positions, you both left for your own common rooms without sparing another glance.

the dreaded patrol round came sooner than you would have liked, and you found yang waiting by the castle doors. you always seemed to be the later one, as if he’d placed a curse on you with that trick at the start of the year.

he kicked himself off the wall he’d been leaning against when he saw you, and began to walk without so much as a ‘hi’ or ‘let’s go’. you had to quickly jog to catch up to him.

the air between you two as you walked around was silent and tense, so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife.

surprisingly, yang was the first to break the silence.

“i was thinking - we should plan the first hogsmeade trip for this term.”

“mhm,” you hummed in agreement. “i think it’s best to have it after the quidditch match in november.”

“yeah, at the end of the month. and people would be able to go before the winter break.”

you fished your phone out from your pocket and opened the calendar app.

“when should we have it?"

yang leaned over your shoulder to look at your screen. “let’s have it on the twenty-seventh," he says, pointing at the date on the calendar. "it’d be good to have the week between the match and the trip free so we can prepare.”

you nodded as you listened, typing up a reminder to speak with the professors about it.

“hey!” the head boy suddenly shouted, causing you to jump. “what are you kids doing here?”

you looked up to find he had opened a classroom, in which three students in around 4th or 5th year were standing. they stared up at the pair of you with wide eyes, like a dear in headlights.

“what are you doing?” you asked, regaining your composure. looking at their ties, you realised they were in slytherin, like you.

the students glanced at each other worriedly and slowly backed away from the two of you. you noticed them hiding something behind them on the desk.

pointing your wand at the items behind them, you summoned it nonverbally, yelling ‘accio!’ in your mind. the items flew into your arms.

“you all better go back to your common room. it’s way past your curfew,” yang warned them. “20 points from slytherin.”

the group shuffled out of the room and quickly ran back to the dungeons.

“isn’t 20 too many?” you grumbled. maybe you were a little biased since they were in your house though.

ignoring you, yang sighed as he turned back to look at the contents in your hands.

“what is it?” he asked.

upon closer inspection, it seemed to be the plannings or blueprint of a large snake puppet that moved on its own, the quote ‘slytherin slays’ painted along its body.

you held back a giggle as you read the notes on how to make the snake glare and breathe flames out when faced with a ravenclaw. yang snorted as he read them as well.

“you slytherins are always so immature when it comes to quidditch matches.” you rolled your eyes and glared at him, imagining you were breathing flames like the puppet snake.

“at least we have a strong sense of support for our house. what’re you birdies doing? painting little flying banners that the players won’t be able to read on the pitch?”

“my team doesn’t need to read our house’s support. we’re good enough and know if.”

“sounds like there’s just no house spirit.”

“say that to me when your team loses,” he challenged.

“you’ll be waiting forever then,” you retorted.

“let’s place a bet. 20 galleons that ravenclaw wins.”

“fine! if we wins, i want you to pay my monthly subscription in an online game for a year."

“what?”

“i need money," you huff, crossing your arms indignantly.

“you need muggle money.”

“well, yes. but i mean, you can convert your wizarding money into muggle money, then pay for my monthly subscription in a game so i get game money.”

“that sounds useless; for a kids’ game? and you called me the childish one?” he raised a questioning eyebrow.

“i wouldn’t need to find peace in an online game if you didn’t bother me all the time, you know," you complain. "you’re like a piece of gum i can’t get off my shoe.”

“you could just cast a spell to get the gum off,” he shrugged.

“you’re right, i’ll just cast a spell on you!” you smile brightly. “stupe-“

“oh my god, okay! i’ll pay for your stupid game - if slytherin wins, which you won’t.”

you smiled to yourself, a skip in your step for the rest of the patrol.

soon, the day of the match arrived; ravenclaw against slytherin (because of course it was).

the morning of the match was lively as usual, everyone split between green and blue.

you watched the large snake float above everyone’s heads in the great hall, breathing (harmless) flames into every ravenclaw’s face.

just at that moment, you bumped into the trio of students who’d been planning the little surprise. you sent them a discreet smile.

“20 points to slytherin,” you awarded for the clever trick, but also to make up for the twenty that yang had taken.

suddenly, you screech when a flock of small origami birds flew and pecked at your hair, ruining the braid you’d put your hair in for the match.

looking up, you noticed the small paper birds flying about the hall, pecking at every slytherin-supporter. this was definitely ravenclaw’s idea; no doubt yang had gotten inspiration from the those students you two had caught.

“you good, kim?” a familiar voice greets you. you turn to see the devil himself smirking at you, pleased with the mess you are.

“i was, until you got here.”

“maybe it’s a sign that you’ll lose today.”

“maybe it’s a sign you should shut up.”

the match started without a hitch.

you scored the first 10 points of the match within 6 minutes, and by the first half hour, slytherin was ahead by 30 points.

you enjoyed the thrill of being a chaser, trying different ways to get the quarrel past the keeper. in fact, you enjoyed flying in general, and being on the pitch.

that is until, you started getting pestered by the other team’s seeker.

you noticed yang seemed to be flying around you after a few laps, and sent him a questioning look.

“what are you doing, yang?”

“looking for the snitch, it’s my job.”

“well, i’m not the snitch. so keep looking!”

“well i’m certainly looking at a similar word.”

it took time to process what he meant, but when you realised, you glared at the boy.

“focus on the game- if you keep your eyes on me, you’ll be paying for my subscription soon!”

yang scoffed and looked away, searching the pitch for the snitch, sending you a glare before zooming away.

the game ended in slytherin’s favour, your team’s seeker barely clutching the golden ball in his hands before the head boy could reach it.

cheers roared across the stadium when it ended with your team’s success, students running onto the pitch in excitement to congratulate you and the other players.

“seriously, the way you threw the quaffle into the hoop while gliding through the air - it was so smooth!” minji gushed as rei nodded in agreement.

“let’s go, there’s going to be a congratulatory party in the common room!” rei says, taking your hand to drag you.

“can i come?” asked hiyyih excitedly, who was a gryffindor.

“duh!”

you laughed as you followed your three best friends, when you caught sight of a certain person in the corner of your eye.

“wait, i have to do something real quick,” you pause to tell the girls. they stopped as well and looked at you curiously.

“what is it?”

“wait for me. i just need to talk to yang - head stuff,” you tell them off-handedly, before running off to the ravenclaw team.

“it’s definitely not about ‘head stuff’,” hiyyih nudges rei, who nods as they watch you leave.

you make your way to the losing ravenclaw team, even congratulating some of them on a good game.

when you reach your target, you tap on his shoulder to get his attention, before smiling triumphantly up at him (wow, you never realised how much taller he was than you until now).

“what is it, kim?” he drawled with an eye-roll.

“the bet. i won.” you gloated, the smile never leaving your face, widening instead when he wore a look of disbelief.

“oh, right.” he sighed before scratching the back of his head, looking around thoughtfully. “let’s sort it out tomorrow, at patrol.”

“okay! don’t back down from your end of the bet.”

“i may hate you, but i’m not a sore loser. see you tomorrow night, kim.”

“with my monthly subscription payment!” you say, waving tauntingly as you ran back to your friends.

“what did you need to talk to him about?” minji asked, putting her hand out to hold yours as you four made your way to the slytherin dungeons.

“we’re making monthly plans to help a student who needs it,” you say smugly.

“sounds like you’re twisting the truth,” rei laughed.

“but it is the truth!” you protested.

you found yourself happily scrolling through the game's catalog, looking to spend your newly-bought robux.

ever since your deal on the match, you found yourself slowly warming up to yang.

well, not to the point you’d consider each other friends, but you acknowledge each other in passing with a nod or quick wave instead of pointedly looking the other way like usual.

you also argued less, much to the relief of the entire school. however, they were still apprehensive, waiting for something to blow up eventually. it was simply too suspiciously calm and quiet without your voices yelling down the hall or in the corner of a classroom.

as the weeks went on, you two learned to get along better and better everyday, even willingly becoming partners in potions once.

sometimes, you would walk to the great hall together for lunch or dinner after a meeting. you even spent your free periods with yang, which you told your friends was because ‘they didn’t have any frees with you’ so you ‘might as well spend it productively’ with the head boy who coincidentally shared the same free periods schedule.

you did lots of stuff together, as expected of the head girl and head boy.

yet, you always avoided studying together.

others might think it’s because of your rivalry; how one might copy off the other’s or something.

sure, you laugh to yourself. let people think what they want.

but the idea of studying with yang again brings back memories of fifth year.

you didn’t tell anyone about it, not even your own friends.

at the end of the year, you’d been practically glued to the library for two months, studying for your OWLs.

“mind if i sit here?”

you turn up to see a familiar face.

“yang?”

“there’s no other free space in the library,” he rolled his eyes, making up an excuse.

looking around, you realised he was right. the only other free spots were next to students that were notoriously weirdos who everyone avoided. maybe he doesn’t want them to copy off his work, you think to yourself.

“um, okay,” you agreed hesitantly while sucking on a sugar quill, moving some of your books to make space for him. those sweets often helped you focus.

yang pulled the seat out and sat down, before beginning to study himself.

you tried to continue as you were, but had lost focus. not even the green apple-flavoured sweet in your mouth could help you concentrate.

you were hyper aware of his presence - the way he hunched over the table with his hair falling over his face. you watched him from the corner of your eye.

why had he chosen to sit with you? were there seriously no better places to go? what about his room? the astronomy tower? the little corner window by the potions classroom downstairs?

“relax. i can feel how tense you are from here.”

“does your oh-so-precious pure-wizard blood give you the ability to sense emotions like a dog?” you scoffed. he looked up sharply and gave you a serious look.

“i just want to revise for my OWLs; let’s keep our disputes outside the library, where we won’t get hexed by madame park over there.”

you rolled your eyes and kept your head down, going back to your own business.

over the course of the month, a routine slowly began wherein you would often study together in the library.

sometimes it was you joining him instead, and you would just wordlessly take the seat opposite him. even when there were other spaces to sit, you two always chose to sit together in the corner table, hidden from the rest of the school.

a word was never spoken between the two top students. and you never told your friends about the little arrangement either.

his presence quickly became something of a comfort for you - it was easier to focus on your studies when he was there. and if you ever needed help with something, he’d give you a few pointers when you finally begrudgingly asked.

he never asked you for help though, which always reminded you why he was number 2. it infuriated you how you had to work twice as hard than him just to barely surpass the boy.

whenever you heard people talking of him in passing, he was always nicknamed ‘the prodigy boy’. what were you called? ‘the girl that was good for a muggle-born’.

he was your rival, but you weren’t his. and he’s made that clear since the day you met.

and yet, despite all the resentment you held for him, you enjoyed his company. OWLs were stressing the life out of everyone, but it felt like you could get through it with him sitting across you.

maybe it’s because he motivated you to keep working harder, to try more so you could widen the gap between your ranks. seeing him everyday reminded you of why you tried so hard. maybe you wanted to show him (and everyone else) that being muggle-born doesn’t mean you’re any less than those born in this world.

at least that’s what you told yourself.

but it doesn’t explain why you began to glance at his lips every time he sat across you.

it doesn’t explain why butterflies began to flutter in your stomach when you felt the warmth of his body close to yours as he’d lean over your shoulder and point at the book when you asked for help. or why you felt giddy when you’d play with each other’s feet under the table.

until one day, he’d dropped his smart-quill on the floor, and you were quicker to kneel down from your seat to get it.

“here,” you said, handing him the quill, still on your knees on the floor.

as you faced him, you realised the close proximity only then.

you stared into his eyes that pulled you in, keeping you locked and unable to escape from his gaze. he stared right back, the quill forgotten in your hand, which now lay on his left knee.

you didn’t even realise the way he slowly leaned down until he cupped your cheek.

his touch was soft; you leaned into it.

“is this okay?” you could barely hear him whisper over the rapid beating of your heart. all you could do was nod.

your eyes fluttered shut as your lips finally connected. a mix of pretty emotions burst in your stomach, filling you with a giddiness you never knew before.

it might have been just a few seconds, or it could have been hours - you didn’t know. that first kiss was everything you ever imagined it to be.

you pulled away first, finally running out of air. but he chased after your lips, kissing you again.

the memory of your first kiss will forever be cemented in your memory. you were just two 16 year olds, softly holding onto each other in the corner of a library, hidden from the rest of the world.

you scrunch your nose at the bittersweet memory. who would’ve thought your first kiss would be with the person you hate the most in this world.

when you returned to school for sixth year that september, yang acted like nothing happened between you two.

he ignored you for the first month of school, not even bothering to taunt you like he used to. everyone had been stumped, including you, but he eventually went back to his usual tactics, albeit with a noticeable lack of ‘stupid muggleborn who can never be on our level’ comments. soon you two were back to your regular bickering as if he didn’t ignore your existence for the first month of school.

as if you hadn’t shared a kiss just three months before.

now, your developing friendship scared you. you didn’t want a repeat of last time; his actions had really hurt you back then.

you remember all the nights you spent in the library, waiting. waiting for him to come, to explain why he was acting like that. waiting for something.

thoughts ran through your mind, trying to reason why he might do this. maybe he realised he didn't feel for you the way you felt for him. maybe he went back to his room that night and wiped all the muggle germs off his face. maybe he realised he was too good for you.

you remember all the times you cried yourself to sleep, eyes puffy for weeks that even your teachers asked if you were okay. if maybe you’d eaten something bad or been cursed. that maybe you should go to the infirmary to fix it.

hiyyih, rei, and minji had no idea how to help you, because you refused to tell them what was wrong.

and you never did. it’s simply too embarrassing. explaining that you kissed your number one enemy and then he ignored you for month and acted like nothing happened between you two was humiliating. you knew your friends wouldn’t, but surely if other students found out, they’d laugh at you.

yang probably laughed with his friends about it. you were just waiting, dreading to hear the rumours of how you’re a bad kisser and how no one should ever want your muggle-born, good-for-nothing ass.

every time you walked past him and his friends, you’d walk faster and look everywhere but their direction. you imagined their snickers and smirks as they watched you run by like a pathetic loser.

the rumours never came however.

no one ever looked at you weirdly, or laughed at you. you ended sixth year with a big sigh of relief, releasing a breath you didn't realise you'd been holding the whole year.

now, you found yourself standing next to the very boy who you had spent the end of your 5th year with, walking a big group of students towards hogsmeade.

you sigh as you think about your astronomy test on monday, which you’d rather spend the weekend studying for.

unfortunately, as the heads, it’s you and yang’s duty to chaperone the students on their trip to the village.

you sigh and pull on your strap, hiking your heavy bag higher up your back. you think of the long day ahead, studying in the corner of one of the quieter cafés, freezing your toes off. it’s not preferable, but it’ll have to do.

yang watches you, eyeing your heavy bag of books.

“what the hell? don’t tell me you’re spending this trip studying.”

“alright, i won’t,” you roll your eyes at him as you two trudge behind the large crowd of students. it was 9 in the morning, and you were too tired to reply.

“wouldn’t you rather spend your time with your friends? you somehow have those,” he teased.

“well yeah,” you huff, a little irritated at his care-free attitude. “but not everyone can pass an astronomy test without needing to study like you. some of us actually have to work our butts off for good grades.”

yang stopped in his tracks, causing you to follow and look back at him questioningly.

to your surprise, he wore a serious expression, glaring forward and refusing to look at you. you must’ve struck a nerve.

“stop acting like you’re the only one in the world that has to fucking work hard,” he fumed. you’ve never seen him this mad, even in all your arguments throughout the years.

“you’re always going on about how much you have to study this, how you need to work harder than me that - blah blah blah.

“why do you always feel the need to undermine my work? always downplaying my accomplishments to ‘mere talent’. what about the tens of hundreds of hours i’ve poured into my own studies? the hours i’ve spent sat by a tutor since i was 6?”

surprised by his outburst in combination with your own irritation and jealousy, you couldn’t help but retort.

“are you serious right now? do you have to make everything about yourself?”

“oh because the world revolves around you? you are so fucking entitled!”

“me? entitled?” you laugh in disbelief. “you’re talking about how i undermine and downplay your work, when you’ve always been the one to yell out to the whole world how i’m a ‘stupid, pathetic muggleborn who’s lacking and can never fit in this world’!” students were beginning to notice your argument and were looking behind as they walked at you two now.

“so that’s what this is about? some shit i said two years ago?” he scoffed.

“some shit you threw at me for 5 years!” you throw your hands up in frustration.

“well maybe you’re proving me right with all your talk about just how much you need to study because you’ll 'never have it as easy as us'!” he yelled right back, mocking you. “you don’t know a thing about me.”

you stared at him, panting heavily. everyone’s attention was now on you two, people watching instead of walking.

“kim y/n! yang jungwon!” you hear the booming voice of professor kim shout over the crowd.

he stormed to you two, face red and veins popping out his neck.

“this behaviour is incredibly inappropriate of role model students! you two are supposed to be guiding the students towards the village, is that such a difficult task?” he scolded you and yang in exasperation.

“could you at least keep your feud behind closed doors? it’s incredibly selfish to ruin everyone’s day with your constant fights!”

you looked down ashamedly as your friends took this as their sign to finally drag you from your spot. jungwon’s friend, nishimura riki from 5th year copied their actions.

professor kim looked at the crowd which had now completely stopped to watch the show.

“keep moving kids!” he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

“park gunwook,” he called. the gryffindor jogged towards the teacher. “pham hanni.” the hufflepuff followed. “you two will take over the role of chaperoning the students, since our head students are clearly unsuitable for the job,” he instructed, throwing you a dirty look.

the two 6th year prefects nodded and began to walk behind everyone, feeling a little awkward at being put on the spot.

you glared at yang one more time, but was met with a different expression instead.

yang met your stare with concern written on his face, as his tall friend dragged him away. it confused you; just a moment ago, he’d been furious with you, and now he looked worried? what was he worried about? what’s with the switch up?

you couldn’t ponder on it any longer, what with your own friends shuffling you away from the crime scene.

the rest of the day was spent tucked away in a little corner of a small café you found, one people didn’t go to as much.

the girls had tried to convince you to join them on their fun, but let you go when you told them you had star charts to memorise for your upcoming test. they seemed hesitant, but after witnessing your recent fight with the head boy, they reluctantly allowed you to go off on your own with promises of saving you a butterbeer.

you busied yourself with your books, not wanting to think about the weird events this morning. from your first disagreement in a while, to yang’s mood swing - it was better to spend your thoughts on what was more important.

eventually, you woke up in the late afternoon, only realising then that you had fallen asleep. the rays of light from the sunset seeped through the window, waking you up with its blinding brightness.

how long had you fallen asleep? you could have been revising in the time you dozed off. astronomy was your weakest subject, so you really needed that precious time.

you groan in frustration, sighing as you sit up to straighten your back. but something falls off your shoulders as you do.

you look behind you and realise it was a jacket, which had been left on your shoulders by someone. but who?

bewildered, you pick up the jacket (which had an oddly familiar scent to it) and turn back to your table of books. but before you can return to your studies, something catches your eye.

there, on top of a pile of textbooks, lay a green sugarquill.

had my friends stopped by while i slept?

it didn’t particularly make sense though, since you agreed to meet up with them later tonight when you headed back to the castle.

you picked it up, then noticed the note it had been sitting on.

sorry, i shouldn’t have said any of that earlier. found you sleeping, don’t beat yourself up. you can do this. i remember sugarquills help you focus, right? don’t worry, it’s not poisoned or anything… goodluck on monday.

your heart squeezed painfully. his short message spoke volumes.

yang jungwon wasn’t one to apologise, seeing as he either never felt bad, or never really did anything wrong (in the eyes of everyone else).

you felt guilty too, seeing as it was your fault as well. you made a mental note to apologise to him in person later.

secondly, this was the first time he ever acknowledged the time you spent together in 5th year. it surprised you, because at this point you wondered if he had forgotten about it, or if it was all some sick dream you had.

heat rushed to your face and you had to put considerable effort into keeping your composure and not kick your feet and screaming right then and there. somehow, he’d remembered such a small detail about the sweet he left for you.

maybe the whole 5th year incident affected him more than he let on. maybe there really was something that happened between you guys.

or maybe you’re just being hopeful again.

one thing you’re sure about though, is that yang jungwon is most certainly crazy.

“welcome back everyone!” you greeted.

it’s the first prefect meeting of the term, everyone who left for the winter break having just returned two days prior.

“we have quite a bit to discuss today,” you started, before looking at jungwon to continue.

“let’s start with the more interesting news first.” he paused, looking at everyone before going on.

“me and the head girl have been planning something this winter, and with the approval of the headmaster, we can finally reveal it to you: the spring ball.”

you watched proudly as the prefects began whispering amongst themselves excitedly. you were so hyped up to be able to plan and make the event come to life.

“we wanted to give the students something more exciting to look forward to. you know- before OWLs and NEWTs completely take over our lives,” you joke, pulling chuckles out of everyone in the room.

“the idea is a formal, floral-themed event that’ll take place in the great hall. it’s only for 5th years and up, but younger years may attend if invited as a date.”

“since you guys are prefects, we’re asking for your help setting up the event. let’s talk ideas for decoration,” you say, pulling out your tablet to take notes.

as you wrote down the prefects’ thoughts and input, you were already drafting a schedule in your mind for preparations. that was until, you felt someone lean over your shoulder.

forcing yourself to keep writing, you tried to ignore the way your shoulder brushed against yang’s chest. one hand holding onto the backrest of your chair whilst the other lay on the table, next to your arm as you wrote on autopilot, your mind circuiting at the proximity. straightening your back in an attempt to compose yourself, you only push yourself against the boy more.

you were sure your face was as red as a tomato. your heart was beating so hard you were scared jungwon could hear it.

judging by the way he huffed in amusement, he probably realised the effect he had on you.

“focus, kim,” he whispered so only you could hear, leaning lower to your level. you could imagine the smirk on his face.

“i am,” you tried to say with as much nonchalance as you could.

honestly, the moment was really reminding you of all those times he’d helped in the library. deja vu was really hitting you hard right now.

the rest of the meeting went smoothly - at least, as smooth as it could be with yang constantly flustering you as he subtly kept grazing your skin.

now that you think about it, jungwon’s been acting strange lately. more… bold? that’s the best way you could explain it.

you don’t know how it happened, but ever since the hogsmeade trip, you two got closer. after you apologised to him, the incident in question was never spoken of again, never referred to. but it’s clear something shifted in your relationship with the head boy.

gradually, he began to fill up your everyday life, seeing him more often in the day than you used to.

in the mornings, you’d bump into each other in the common room after getting ready, and go down to the great hall for breakfast together. or, if one of you seemed to be running late after breakfast, you’d make sure to save some food and leave it in the common room for the other.

in the day, you two shared free periods, and so spent it lounging in the common room, simply doing work at the coffee table or reading a book on the couch. music would play in the background as you two sat in comfortable silence, basking in each other’s company.

in the evenings, you might come back from a late class to find him napping on the couch. so you’d shake him awake with a “jungwon, let’s go get dinner.”

you could be studying in the library corner of your shared living space, and he’d always remind you to eat. even when it was past any meal time, he’d drag you off the chair for a trip to the kitchens, where he’d get a house elf to make you two a snack. he often asked for eclairs, noticing it was your favourite.

but yang jungwon didn’t just take up your daily activities, he was always on your mind too.

thoughts of how he wouldn’t like the cold dim lights of the slytherin common room, or seeing students that he’s told you he isn’t particularly fond of floated in your mind when you visited your friends.

you even found yourself comparing him to characters in whatever series you absorbed yourself in. you seriously couldn’t stop thinking about him.

the fights stopped completely, but you two continued your flirting friendly banter all the time.

once, you managed to find time in your busy schedule to sit down and watch barbie movies. jungwon (when did you even start calling him that?) had walked in to the common room to find his bag which he had left there, only to see you huddled up in a blanket while watching barbie as the island princess magically projected onto the wall.

“what’s this?” he’d asked.

“muggle movies from my childhood. this girl here grew up on the island when one day, she was found by a prince who was intrigued by her, and brought her back to the city, where she finally learns who she really is,” you explained while keeping your eyes trained on the projection.

“and who is she really?”

“why don’t you sit down and watch, kitty?” you’d always called him by that nickname during your petty fights, since his face reminded you of a cute cat. now though, it became more of an endearing nickname for the boy.

“i have to write 10 inches on the use of the lumos solem spell by tuesday.”

“that’s 5 days away! come on, don’t you wanna know? it’s really good, i promise. we can watch from the start, and i’ll help you with that charms essay, since professor song assigned it to us to, and i already got started on it,” you asked, twisting to face him with the best pleading look you could muster.

“fine, but only because you begged," he relented with a playful smile.

so that’s how you ended up binging barbie movies into the wee hours of the morning, sharing a blanket with your proclaimed enemy on the sofa.

“you honestly look more like serafina,” you tease him.

“what? but she’s a girl! wouldn’t wolfie be a better fit?”

“but serafina has more cat-like eyes! you guys have similar eyes.”

“are you serious right now? they’re both cats!” he gestures to the movie, paused at the last scene.

“but you really look like her!” you insist, using both hands to point at each corner of his eyes, shifting closer to him. “they’re upturned.”

“didn’t realise you knew that about me, babe.” he wrapped his own hands around your wrists, as they hovered above his face. “if i’m serafina, you must be wolfie.”

“why? because we’re partners in crime?” you snorted at his suggestion. “they get married at the end and have a bunch of little kitties too. you want that?”

“if that’s what you’d like,” he shrugged, his lips pulling into a downwards smile.

you stared at him incredulously, heartbeat suddenly pounding as you looked into the growing smug look on his face. his eyes that managed to shine even in the dark never failed to root you on the spot, unable to look away.

what were you feeling? you've looked at jungwon so many times over the past 5 years, but the boy's gaze never made you feel like this way before. like you were floating on air; like you could do anything with him by your side, looking at you like that.

in fact, thinking back to all your years of knowing him, it's funny how much things have changed in the past several months.

you actually giggle a bit, sitting back, further from his warmth. you immediately miss the soft touch of his fingers around your wrists.

"what are you laughing about?" he asks, but he's laughing too.

"you. me; us."

"are we comedians now or something?"

"no, but we're definitely clowns of the circus." jungwon grinned at your statement, an amused huff escaping his lips.

"penny for your thoughts?"

"i was just thinking... how did we go from having wars in the middle of DADA in 3rd year, to watching muggle barbie movies at 2am on a saturday?" you think out loud.

"when you put it like that... we do sound like the comedy act of a show," he admits, scratching the back of his neck.

"at least i do."

"what do you mean?" you ask, shifting your position on the couch to sit up. you move your cold feet so they rest between jungwon's ankles, soaking in their warmth.

"our little feud - you know, the fights, the hexes, all that. it was all because of me."

"what? no it wasn't - i instigated a lot of them too," you say, trying to reassure him. was he feeling guilty and blaming himself?

"but, it was! honestly, if it wasn't for my stupid shallow thinking, we might've been friends way earlier." you looked at him patiently, nodding for him to continue.

"i used to think that muggle-borns were stupid and would fall behind in everything - school, work, just because you had no idea of how our world worked. honestly, i pitied and felt sorry for you guys, because i thought you could never be on our level. i know now how ignorant i was, obviously," he scoffed at himself.

"so when i met you, i thought you were an idiot. you are, don't get me wrong-" he teased you, causing you to roll your eyes, although smiling lightly. "but even though you're muggle-born, you always managed to do better than me.

"you were constantly the best student in our year- no, our school. you were faster at understanding concepts than i was, immediately getting things right on the first try. hell, even when i would go flying on the pitch to relieve my stress and then got recruited into the ravenclaw team in third year, i finally thought i was better than you at something. and then you joined your team in 4th, and was called the 'ace' of slytherin. what a blow all of that to was to my ego."

"i joined the team to annoy you," you shyly admit. "but why did you even think that in the first place?" you asked, not angry. you wanted to hear him out and finally get answers to questions you've asked yourself for so many years. you wanted to understand, and know the boy in front of you.

"well, you know that my father's company is successful. so growing up, i was given the best. my parents hired the best tutors for me, so i'd be ahead of everyone else when i started hogwarts. my teachers said i was their best student, my parents showed me off to their friends as their 'pride and joy' or something dumb like that. other parents compared their kids to me, i was that kid.

"i knew i was privileged though - that i had money and could afford to have this good education. so i made the best of it and constantly told myself that others would be lucky to have my life, so i wanted to prove i was worthy of it by working hard and pushing myself all my life.

"but with that, i developed the mindset that people who don't have money like i do can't have as much knowledge as me since they don't have access to it - and that included muggle-borns. you had zero knowledge of this world, which works incredibly different to yours. we have different moral compasses; notions of common sense; understanding of how things worked.

"so imagine how surprised i was to find that you were doing better than me in school. me, who had sat beside a tutor since i was 6, who was learning OWL content at 12. all this only for a girl who didn't even know magic existed until a month before to top me in school.

"that's why i was always angry; i was angry with my tutors for not teaching me better; at you for being better. but most especially at myself. for deluding myself into thinking that way." you two were silent for a moment.

"what changed?" you asked.

jungwon breathed in, preparing himself.

"5th year. i was finally learning to respect you, so when i walked into the library that was full of students, you seemed like the best option to sit next to."

"really? still hadn't gotten over that 'i'm better than everyone blah blah blah' attitude?" you asked, smugly tilting your head to the side.

"shush," he hid his face. "but... i got to learn how hard you really worked back then. i used to think you just had some gift for learning. but watching you with your head down for hours, i felt like i was discrediting all that with something like 'innate talent'.

"i went back home that summer confused and having a mid-life crisis at 16. my dad talked to me though, knocked some sense into me.

"he said that just because muggles don't know magic, doesn't mean they can't do anything. i mean, the whole idea of smart devices that our company is literally known for was taken from muggles! without you guys, we wouldn't have that in our world either. you created it, we just used magic to expand it.

"i was pretty shaken up after that, and was in a daze when 6th year started. it took me a while to sort my thoughts out and gather myself."

it was silent for a while, now nearing 3am.

jungwon just spilled out his guts to you, in the dim atmosphere of your common room. now you were the one collecting your thoughts.

"i'm sorry too."

"what? you never did anyth-"

"but i basically did the same thing as you. you studied for years and years, and i just always thought you were also naturally smart; that you never needed to study like i did because you already knew it all."

silence enveloped the two of you once again.

"...so i guess we're more similar than we thought, huh?" he smiled softly at you. you felt like you were floating again.

"i guess so."

jungwon unfolded his legs and opened his arms out as a gesture, which you gladly accepted and fell into his embrace.

"so, are we good now?" you asked.

"hmm, i still feel like you owe me something for all those years of endless anger and feeling like shit."

"you mean for enlightening you that we stupid muggles aren't so stupid?" you asked, face still buried in his chest, your voice muffled against his sweatshirt. "shouldn't you owe me? for teaching you a lesson?"

"but i want something," he pouted, pulling on your wrist.

"what is it? as long as its affordable."

"is going to the spring ball with me affordable?"

you turn your head to look up at him, who's looking down at you with shy eyes, waiting for your answer.

"i don't know... how much does it cost?" you play along. you already know your answer anyway.

"it'll cost you about..." he pulled out the calculator app on his phone, pretending to add up a total. "one kiss."

you laughed at him, finally pulling away from his arms.

"was that at the end of 5th year not enough?"

"no," he pouted, eyebrows knitted. so cute, you thought.

"alright then, but is it okay if i pay you that hefty price later at the ball?" jungwon sighed dramatically, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"i guess... but the price might increase to 10."

"that's okay, i'll give you as many as you want, as long as the first one is special."

"i didn't know you were sentimental like that," he smirked at you, kissing your cheek. you shrugged nonchalantly, smiling at him.

"i didn't know you were so needy for kisses like that."

"touché," he laughed, dragging you in for another hug, cuddling you until you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

since that night, you and jungwon gradually learned to be comfortable each other. and with the ball preparations, there was lots of opportunities to do so.

you realised that - without the hostility between you two, it was much easier to find compromises when you disagreed on something. jungwon did things differently from you, but listened to your thoughts and offered his too.

as the weeks went on, you found yourself looking forward to meetings with him, missing his presence when he wasn’t with you.

something in the way he’d nudge you lightly when you were worried about something, wrap his arm around you and squeeze your shoulder, or simply smile at you brightly with those cat-like eyes of his - they were all comforting.

the change in atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by your friends either.

"what was that??" rei interrogated you when jungwon pulled you aside for the nth time this week.

"oh, he just wanted to talk about putting up decor later," you answer nonchalantly, taking a bite out of your toast.

"he has the same conversation with you practically every day," minji rolled her eyes.

"yeah, and i'm more surprised that you don't come ranting to us about every interaction you two have," hiyyih agrees, eyeing you suspiciously.

"well, i just grew up and matured," you try to defend yourself.

"if growing up and maturing means developing a crush, then yeah. you sure did." rei pauses before continuing. "is there something you aren't telling us?"

technically, yes. you weren't telling them about the development between you and jungwon - at least not yet. but you didn't exactly have a crush on the boy, in the sense that it was a one-sided thing and you were too shy to confess. but you didn't really want to tell them what was going on between you two, because you didn't know yourself.

were you and jungwon friends(-ish)? yes. but were you dating? no, definitely not. there's no doubt though that your strange, blurry, undefined relationship will develop soon enough, and you'd rather wait until everything's clear before telling your friends.

"she's not saying anything - something is definitely up!" hiyyih gasped excitedly, causing rei and minji to giggle, and you to shake your head.

you had noticed that jungwon seemed to always find reasons to talk to you, even if it's little things you've already discussed before, or silly simple questions like 'how's your day going?' or 'what barbie movie are we watching tonight?'

yeah, you two often found yourselves watching barbie movies late into a friday night.

you also ended up cuddling on the couch almost every evening after a long day of duties, particularly on patrol nights. after your rounds, you two would head back up to the head dormitories, where you'd flop onto the couch, and he'd jump onto you soon after.

the others would go crazy if they ever found out, you laugh to yourself.

the next day would be the night of the ball, so you were pretty wrapped up in helping out throughout the day.

"everything's set up," haerin, a 5th year gryffindor prefect told you.

"it looks really good," you tell her, looking at the great hall. it looked great now, and you were excited for how it would turn out in the dark of the night later.

"did you manage to complete the spell?" she asked curiously.

"i did, but i'm only 89.7% sure it'll work," you say, biting your lip. you hated not being completely sure about something, like an answer, or in this case - a self-made spell.

you turn when you hear a laugh behind you.

"i like how you have a specific percentage even when it comes to feelings," jungwon says through a grin. "your brain works weirdly"

"whatever, kitty," you roll your eyes light heartedly at him.

facing the great hall again, you take a deep breath as you cast the spell on the great hall, chanting the incantation as you wave your wand.

in a moment, the hall was filled with falling petals of different colours, though they didn't litter the ground messily, simply disappearing when they reached the ground. vines reached out from between the tiled floor, wrapping around table legs and growing bright vibrant flowers of their own. small orbs of light flickered throughout the ceiling, like fairies illuminating the scene.

"wow, it looks amazing, y/n!" one of the professors helping around praised.

"it really does," jungwon says, snaking his arm around your waist, his hand clinging onto your side snuggly.

"thank you," you mumble, as you both look up at the pretty scene in front of you.

soon, night falls and you're running down the staircase with your friends, holding up the ends of your dress to avoid stepping on it.

"careful y/n! or you might trip!" you hear hiyyih call out from behind you.

"she's just excited to see her prince charming," minji laughs, but the three of them are also running, holding up their own dresses.

the doors of the great hall open, revealing the breathtakingly decorated room, some guests already having arrived at the scene.

"wow, this is amazing..." rei gasped, enchanted by the way coloured lights perfectly illuminate the hanging wisteria flowers, and butterflies fluttering throughout the room.

"you seriously outdid yourself. how did you even do this?" hiyyih asked.

"only y/n could make a spell as complicated as this," jungwon's voice says, announcing his presence. "you look good, by the way," he adds when you look at him.

a quick one-over of his look tonight does not do him justice. so you find yourself staring unashamedly at his figure.

the way his waistcoat hugs his figure emphasises his broad shoulders, something you didn't even realise you found attractive until you saw it on him. a red tie lazily tucked into the waistcoat plus the rolled-up sleeves - it all made your mind go haywire.

"you would know, having been subjected to all the spells she's made over the years," hiyyih laughs at the memory.

"didn't know you spent so much time thinking about me, kim," he goaded.

"oh trust me, she def-" you cut rei off by covering her mouth with your gloved hand.

"thanks, jungwon," you say quickly, giving him a smile and pushing your friends away.

"he was flirting with you!" rei loudly whispers into your ear.

"and what do you want me to do about it!" you say, making sure your friends couldn't see the deep blush on your face.

"flirt back!" minji huffs out exasperatedly. "i'm sick and tired of whatever has been going on between you two for years!"

"yes, please just end it tonight! whether you get together or never talk about it again," rei rolls her eyes.

"what?" you stop, looking at them.

"rei's right, although i'd prefer for you to finally get together."

"wait wait wait, what do you mean?"

"are you being for real right now? you two have clearly had a thing for each other this whole time!" rei says like it was obvious. "we've known it for years."

"go get your man!" hiyyih sighs, turning you by your shoulders and pushing you away this time.

you try not to dwell on the thought of your friends betting on your relationship with jungwon, and pretend you never heard a word come out of their mouths.

soon, the headmaster calls for everyone's attention.

"welcome students!" his voice echoes throughout the hall, the music quietening for his speech. "first and foremost, i want to thank this year's head girl and boy for organising such an event for us. give it up for kim y/n and yang jungwon!" he shouts, a spot light highlighting your two figures in the room. you quickly turn to look at jungwon, who looks back at you with a smile, as everyone claps loudly, some even whistling supportively.

"and with that, may the spring ball begin - with the spring dance, kicking off with the head boy and girl leading the first dance," professor si-hyuk ends his speech.

everyone cheers and makes way for you two on the dance floor, which magically raises up in the middle of the hall.

music begins to play as you face the head boy, who inches closer to you every second.

time slows as he places his hand on your hips, guiding your hand to his shoulders. all other noise is drowned out by the sound of your heart, pounding so hard it might come out your chest. you don't see anyone but yang jungwon.

and he's looking at you like he sees no one else but you either.

it's crazy, how you're here, dancing, in the arms of the person who you've hated since 1st year - who motivated you to work hard during all these years.

you think back to your first meeting with him.

you could imagine the sparkles in your eyes as you stare at everything in awe, still in disbelief.

last month, a weirdly-dressed person knocked at your front door, and told your parents that you were a witch.

of course, you hadn't believed her at first, until she pointed her wand at a decorative figurine and made it float upside down. you and your family had been absolutely floored and confused. how could something like that even happen?

last month, the weirdly-dressed lady described to you a world that sounded fictional, of magic and creatures you could never even imagine. she explained why you had all these weird happenings growing up, things that were simply unexplainable.

your world was turned upside down in a few moments, and now you were here, on a train, to a magical school.

of course, you were incredibly sad to be away from your family for the first time in your life, but you were assured that you still had many ways to connect with them. and so, you set off into a new world completely alone, but with a lot of excitement.

you walked around the compartments as the train set off, peering and saying hi to other students.

until, you bumped into a boy who had the prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and the cutest little dimple that had 11-year old you's heart melting.

"be careful and look where you're going," he says nonchalantly.

"i'm so sorry! i was just so excited - i mean, aren't you? could you ever believe magic exists? i won't until i try it for myself!" you ramble enthusiastically.

you trail off when you see him looking at you with a mix of pity and boredom.

"oh, so you're a muggle-born, huh?"

"what do you mean?" you ask confusedly.

"well, whatever you think, i'm not like you. i already know what you just learned, and i already know what you still have to learn," he shrugs, picking at his nails like he ha better things to do than talk to you. "sorry, i think you're going to struggle a little bit here," he simply says, and leaves you alone in the middle of the train corridor.

what the hell? you ask yourself.

snobby rich kids isn't something you thought you'd experience in the wizarding world, but i guess somethings are just universal, huh?

something about the way he looked at you; talked to you like you were below him though - it bugged you.

"i'm gonna struggle?" you ask yourself in disbelief. absolutely not, you didn't want him to be right. you'll make sure of it.

and so, you ran back to your own compartment and pulled out your books, making a resolution to study everything and make sure you knew all the content. you wanted to show whoever that kid is that he's wrong, that you're better than him.

and so, the rest of the long ride and even your first night was spent catching up on what you missed out on, making sure you were prepared for whatever this extraordinary world would throw at you.

and most especially, preparing for whatever trouble the boy, who's name you learned was yang jungwon would give you.

gradually, more people join the dance, but you're so entranced by the boy in your arms, you don't notice how he's whisked you away from the main dance floor.

now towards the side of the room, away from all attention, jungwon looks down at you with all the love in his eyes.

it's overwhelming, you can't escape your emotions anymore. you like jungwon, possibly even more. you feel like all these feelings are about to burst out of you, and jungwon's arms are the only thing keeping you together.

"y/n, i think you still owe me something," he whispered, his face dangerously close to yours.

"and what would that be?" you naturally retort, having developed the instinct to talk back when it came to him.

"don't play with me, please let me kiss you."

"i don't think so." you pause teasingly, trying not to giggle at his pout, his dimple coming out. "let me kiss you," you say, finally leaning in, sealing your lips.

it felt just like the one back in 5th year, but better. jungwon held you impossibly closer by the waist, as if fearing you would run away. but you won't, and you never will. because in his arms, you never felt as safe and comfortable in your own skin as you did then.

you finally part for air, but jungwon's eyes never strayed from your face.

"i lied earlier by the way, when i said you looked good." you raise your eyebrows at him questioningly, before he smiles cheekily at you. "you look like the stars that put me to sleep every night."

"i didn't know you were poetic like that," you laughed lightly, leaning your forehead on his chest. "you look like my boyfriend."

"that's because i am," he says pulling you in for another kiss.

you don't think you'll ever get tired of kissing him. it's an unforgettable moment, and an unforgettable night.

you never knew you were missing something until you met jungwon, and you think you can finally breathe with him next to you (and your friends passing riki 20 galleons each two tables away).

; author's corner! hii this was inspired by all the jily fics i've read over the years (whew i didn't even realise how long i've been reading fanfiction...) LMAO anyways may irls never find out this acc belongs to me bc my realistic self barfed at what i just wrote but my delulu self was kicking and giggling while editing but i hope you enjoyed!

; taglist @wonuslust @enhacatalog @makiswrld @forjungwons @yebin14 @lovelovelovebts @amanda-archives @beomgyusonlywife @bbinwrld@em-asian @enhamysunshines @ahnneyong @jungwonscafe bold couldn't be tagged!

#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ mi's works #k-labels #yang jungwon #jungwon #jungwon x reader #yang jungwon x reader #jungwon angst #jungwon fluff #enhypen x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon oneshots #jungwon ff #jungwon hogwarts au #enhypen fic #hogwarts au #enhypen #enhypen jungwon #ੈ♡˳ - in my head

1K notes · View notes

snwpcktz · 8 months

Text

A PIN STRAIGHT TO MY HEART

PAIRING: jungwon x fem!reader

GENRE: high school au, classmates to lovers, acquaintances to lovers, fluff

SYNOPSIS: the famous decelis academy confession board is where students pin their written feelings on an anonymous sticky note in hopes of their crush reading it. for y/n, this is the perfect opportunity to finally come to terms with the feelings she has for her classmate--yang jungwon. she has everything planned out, from the color of the sticky note she would be using (blue, it's jungwon's favorite color) to the location she would pin it on the board (smackdown in the middle of the decorative heart the student council put up for valentine's day ages ago). but what happens when y/n sees jungwon pinning his own confession note mere seconds before she planned to?

WARNINGS: mutual pining, little jealousy, swearing, reader is a little oblivious, reader uses she/her pronouns, mentions of other idols (sunoo, niki, wonyoung, minji, rei, intak, minjae)

WC: 5.3k

NOTE: hello everyone! here's my first fic, sorry that it took so long! i hope that the wait from the teaser wasn't bad! and ofc i'm open to any and all feedback :) pls enjoy the read!

"should i do it?"

wonyoung sighed for the nth time. "y/n, you ask me this every ten minutes and i give you the exact same answer. do it! there's nothing to lose since it's anonymous."

"yeah, but i want him to know it's from me," y/n mumbled, picking at the food on her lunch tray.

"then put your name on it."

"but what if he rejects me after that?"

"then don't put your name on it."

"but i need him to know that i like him!"

"goddamn it, y/n!" wonyoung groaned, massaging her head with her hands. "at this point just confess in person. you're really stressing me out here."

y/n rolled her eyes. "but i have like a 99.999999999% chance of rejection if i do that."

"and that's why we decided to do the confession board!" wonyoung retorted. "look, we're getting nowhere with this, so i suggest that you take my advice and- you're not even listening to me."

wonyoung was right--y/n was indeed not at all listening to her. not when the yang jungwon just entered the canteen in all his glory.

crisp uniform, broad shoulders, fluffy hair, and those gorgeous eyes. yang jungwon was just as attractive as he was yesterday. and the day before. and the day before that. scratch that, since freshman year.

the first time y/n met jungwon was in freshman biology, where they were partnered up to dissect a frog. it had been a few months since they had been in the same class, but y/n never interacted with him until they were paired together for the lab. in spite of her ridiculous comments and irritatingly loud reactions, jungwon has completed the lab calmly and with ease, even caring to explain everything she had missed while revolting at the sight of their frog.

once freshman jungwon handed in their neatly written lab report and shot a reassuring (and adorable) smile to his lab partner, y/n knew that the heat rising in her face and the rapid beating in her chest meant that she had taken a liking towards this boy.

and since then, y/n had reserved her heart for the one and only boy who managed to make her tummy flutter with giddiness.

of course, that was from way back in freshman year. has she made any progress since then? absolutely not.

even though the famous decelis academy confession board had been a temptation every single year, y/n simply could not bring herself to pin her feelings on it. but after reading hundreds of anonymous confessions, y/n had decided to finally get over her hopelessness and muster up the courage to post a note of her own. she had an intricate plan set in stone:

step one - purchase blue sticky notes (because blue is jungwon's favorite color) and dog stickers (because y/n found out that he has an adorable dog after stalking his instagram)

step two - write out a heartfelt confession that does not give away y/n's identity but still shows some hints to who she is (this would take several trials)

step three - arrive at school at exactly 8:25 AM on thursday, which is when everyone is trying to get to homeroom and will not be around the confession board located next to the art studio

step four - pin the note right in the middle of the heart from valentine's day so that it's extremely hard to miss

step five - pray that yang jungwon reads it and feels the same and asks y/n out and starts dating her and proposes to her and marries her and they live in a nice house with two kids and a dog until they grow old together

well, step five was pretty unreasonable but the rest of the plan would work! as long as y/n stopped staring at jungwon and actually started to listen to her friend, who was trying to get her to even begin step one.

"if you don't do this, some other girl might snatch him away," wonyoung commented, picking up her chopsticks and pointing them at y/n accusingly. "so you better get to work."

"okay okay, i'll do it!" y/n replied with a soft sigh following her words. "i just hope he reads it."

"he will. as long as you actually make the note," wonyoung added. "you do this every single wednesday. make this one the last time this happens."

"okay, jesus. i will. oh my fucking god."

wonyoung's lips curved into a smile. "good."

8:25 AM on a thursday. y/n was already at school, looking around the arts building for the confession board with her note in her hand. she had spent three hours crafting the perfect confession note for jungwon (the pile of crumpled sticky notes in her trashcan is enough proof of that), neatly writing out each word and carefully decorating it with little dog stickers.

she mentally crossed out step three of her plan as the wood border of the bulletin board came into her sight. it was perfect. an empty hallway with the lights dimmed down and no sounds of other students. this was her one chance to finally pin her confession to the board.

she smiled while looking at the board that was mere steps away. the spot smackdown in the middle of the large pink heart was empty, just as planned. the universe was most definitely on her side.

suddenly, y/n could hear footsteps coming from the opposite end of the hallway. panic rushed to her head as she quickly hid behind a wall near the board, stuffing the note in the pocket of her school blazer.

she peeked her head out to observe whoever was passing by. maybe it was just a teacher. or the janitor. or the theater director. either way, she needed the coast clear for her to pin her note.

the person turned around the corner, closing in on the confession board. y/n squinted her eyes, trying to catch any noticeable features. school uniform, broad shoulders, styled black hair- wait, was that yang jungwon?

y/n's eyes widened as she swallowed down the anxiety in her throat. why was yang jungwon at the confession board at (now) 8:26 AM on a thursday?

jungwon approached the confession board, his back facing y/n from her hiding spot. she could see him pull out something from his pocket and reach over to the container of thumbtack pins to the left of the board. was yang jungwon really posting a confession note?

y/n's suspicions were confirmed when he pushed a red pin through a pink sticky note, right in the empty space in the middle of the pink heart. she could feel her heart beating rapidly as she watched him walk away leisurely, fear creeping into her head once again.

she paused for a minute, unable to calm the pounding in her chest as she slumped against the cold wall. taking one last glance at the board, y/n pushed herself off of the wall and turned around, deciding to head to class.

a million questions were running through her head, but only one overshadowed any other thought she had: did yang jungwon just post a confession to another girl?

y/n felt her frown tugging even further down her face throughout the day. of course, the confession board was a hot topic every single day--especially when someone adds a new sticky note to the board. but y/n didn’t expect that the identity of the author who wrote the latest pink sticky note would be revealed so soon.

“jungwon apparently told a classmate that he wrote it, but he won’t say who it’s to,” a student said while passing y/n’s desk.

and there was that. the mystery recipient. the person who ruined all of y/n’s plans. all she wanted to do was finally confess her feelings with the hope that they could be returned. but what was the point of doing that now when her crush had already confirmed that he has feelings for another girl?

“i think it’s to minji, she’s been talking to jungwon a lot recently.”

y/n let out a frustrated huff after hearing that. she wasn’t in the mood to listen to people talk about possible candidates for jungwon’s mystery crush, especially when she barely had any chance of filling that spot.

wonyoung could only frown sympathetically, watching her friend's gloomy state. she knew how much this confession meant to y/n, but neither of them could have predicted that things would turn out this way.

“do you wanna get food, babe?” wonyoung asked, gently rubbing y/n’s head that was face-planted on her desk. “maybe a snack will help.”

“nothing can cure what i’m feeling right now,” y/n grumbled.

“you need to get up. you’ve been stuck at your desk for almost all of our break.”

“i don’t feel like getting up.”

wonyoung sighed before standing up and stretching her arms. “come on, let’s go get you something to eat. i’ll treat you.”

y/n groaned while sliding out of her seat. “i’m only doing this for free food,” she muttered as wonyoung linked arms with her.

“yeah, yeah. whatever.”

wonyoung practically dragged y/n by the arm to get to the snack shop, trying to avoid lingering in the hallway when everyone was talking about jungwon’s note.

"did you hear that jungwon confessed to someone? he confirmed it himself!"

"i think he likes rei, she's close with his friend niki."

"it has to be to minji, she's literally the only woman he'll look at."

y/n huffed at the comments flying around her with an uneasy feeling at the pit of her stomach. it upset her to imagine jungwon with another girl, staring into her eyes with love glassed across his own. she squeezed tighter onto wonyoung's arm as they swerved through the crowd, reaching their destination as quickly as possible.

unfortunately, luck was not on their side. the person y/n least wanted to see at the moment was standing at the drinks shelf, surrounded by some of his friends--and minji.

"yang jungwon!" y/n sharply hissed at wonyoung, pulling on the sleeve of the taller girl's blazer. "yang fucking jungwon is here! with minji!"

her friend turned to glance at the said boy and girl and rolled her eyes. "ignore him, let's go get our food."

y/n allowed wonyoung to drag her to the shelf stocked with savory snacks, shooting a small glare at minji before turning her head around.

what she didn't notice was that yang jungwon had recognized her presence the moment she turned around. he held the cold watermelon soda closer to his chest in an attempt to calm his racing heart.

"i don't know why people think it's me, i'm already in a relationship," minji sighed, fiddling with the strawberry milk in her hands.

"well, you do spend a lot of time with jungwon," niki reasoned, leaning against a nearby wall. "at least in terms of girl-space-friends. he doesn't have a lot of game."

"but some people think it's rei and she doesn't spend a lot of time with jungwon," minji countered. "actually, i don't think i've seen them interact since they've been introduced to each other."

"so if it's not minji or rei, who is it?" sunoo questioned.

all three students turned to look at jungwon, who slowly snapped out of his daze. "huh?"

"who'd you write the note to, won?" minji asked.

"i don't think i can answer that," jungwon mumbled, clenching the soda can tighter. "i'd prefer to keep that private."

"come on, we're your closest friends!" niki groaned, frowning at jungwon's response. "you can tell us--in exchange, we'll help you get the girl."

jungwon paused, pondering over niki's offer for a moment with his friend's eager stares fixated on him. he let out a brief sigh before answering, "fine. i'll give you a small hint."

his friends gasped, anticipation evident on their faces. jungwon took another quick glance at y/n, who was searching for seaweed-flavored chips, and felt the fluttering feeling in his stomach once again.

"she's in this room with us. right now."

his friends looked at each other with confused expressions. "it's just us four and the cashier...and intak..and minjae...and wonyoung...and y/n," sunoo listed, scanning the entire snack shop.

"the cashier? be so fucking for real right now bro," niki scoffed with a disgusted look on his face. "she's like, 70."

"no, what the fuck?" jungwon grimaced. "i mean someone our age. who do you take me for?"

"oh, i think i know who it is!" minji exclaimed with a smile. "it's y/n, isn't it?"

jungwon widened his eyes. he could feel a sharp rush of heat to his cheeks as he gulped at the mention of her name. minji let out a small chuckle at the boy's obvious reaction.

"really? you haven't talked to her since, like, freshman year," sunoo said, judging the reaction he just witnessed.

"yeah, but she's just so- ugh, you wouldn't understand. did you know that she braids her hair when she's stressed?"

"you're such a creep," niki sighed disappointedly. "no wonder you were always staring at her in class."

"look, she was doing it in first year history during our mock exam and i asked her about it," jungwon explained before glaring at niki. "i am not a creep."

"does she know your note's for her?" minji asked.

"no, i don't think so," jungwon replied with a small frown forming on his face. "i don't even think she likes me back. i mean, i don't really talk to her so i probably just seem weird."

"a creep," niki corrected, poking jungwon's shoulder harshly. "you seem like a creep."

"shut up."

"well, we can help you talk to her again so that you can show your interest," sunoo offered while tucking his phone into the back pocket of his uniform pants. "like right now."

the pink-haired boy whipped his head around to where y/n and wonyoung were standing, who had moved onto the bakery section.

"wonyoung! y/n!"

jungwon smacked sunoo immediately after the two girls' names left his mouth. "what the fuck are you doing," he muttered, trying to clench his lips together to seem like he wasn't talking.

"uh, helping you? duh," sunoo replied with a roll of his eyes.

meanwhile, the two girls stood across the snack shop, frozen with multiple bags of snacks in their arms.

"why did jungwon's friend say our name?" y/n questioned, also clenching her lips in fear that her crush would notice her talking about his friends. "and how does he know we exist?"

"the question is actually how does he know you exist," wonyoung responded before pulling y/n's arm. "come on, let's go see what he wants."

"no!" y/n whisper-yelled. "i can't...he's there...and minji's there..."

"you'll survive," wonyoung sighed. "we're going and that's final."

ignoring her friend's protests, wonyoung dragged y/n over to the group of four. "hi sunoo, what's up?"

"nothing, jungwon just wanted to tell y/n something," sunoo replied with a grin, causing jungwon's eyes to widen in concern.

"he did?" y/n mumbled.

"i did?" jungwon whispered, shooting a glare at sunoo's smiling face.

jungwon glanced at y/n but quickly looked away, swallowing down the nervous bundle in his throat. he didn't know if he could contain himself if he looked one second longer into her curious eyes.

he cleared his throat for an unnaturally long time, causing his friends to send questioning looks towards him. "um, yeah, uh...i, well, i was wondering..."

y/n found herself slightly leaning towards the anxious boy, which only caused jungwon's heart to beat faster.

"uh...do...do you have history next?"

niki rolled his eyes while minji felt the need to facepalm herself.

y/n shot a glance at wonyoung before responding, "um, yeah. why?"

"well, uh..." jungwon felt himself breaking out in a sweat, panicking to make up an excuse. "i was...uh-"

"he wanted to offer his notes to you since he just had history," sunoo quickly covered. jungwon blinked before nodding, swallowing down his anxiety once again.

y/n's eyes widened. it was common for jungwon, an intelligent and diligent student, to offer help to people in academics. but what shocked her was the fact that he offered her his history notes--as if he knew that it was her weakest subject.

she didn't hesitate to accept the offer, sending a wave of relief over jungwon. "uh, i'll drop them off once i get back to my classroom."

"yeah, no problem. thanks for the notes!" y/n replied, shooting a small smile at the boy before allowing wonyoung to drag her to the register.

once the duo was far enough, jungwon turned around to face his friends with an excited smile curled on his face. "did you see that? she smiled at me!"

"yeah, no thanks to yourself," sunoo grumbled. "i did all the work. for free!"

"you're too awkward, jungwon," minji sighed, a pained expression on her face.

"i think you should stick to being a nerd," niki commented. "it...suits you better."

niki spent the rest of the break running away from said nerd.

y/n slumped in her seat, resting her cheek in her left hand and tapping her foot on the ground. she checked the clock above the blackboard. 10:27 AM. three minutes left for jungwon to fulfill his promise.

she let out another sigh. she didn't expect herself to anticipate much from the exchange--after all, he was just offering her his history notes. but she found herself rushing back to her classroom, waiting (and struggling to wait) for his presence at the doorframe while each minute dragged on.

10:28. a frown etched onto y/n's face. the day seemed to just get worse and worse. first, her confession was ruined by her crush himself. next, her crush proceeded to post a confession to another girl. now, her crush failed to complete a promise two minutes before her least favorite class.

another moody sigh. y/n lazily reached into her bag, pulling out her history textbook and her pencil case. she should've known to never trust men, like her mother said. all men are liars.

she slowly flipped through her textbook, feeling her frown drag down even further. the classroom was bustling with chatter, savoring the last couple of minutes before another hour long class. but here she was, slouching in her seat with a gray thundercloud above her head. she could practically visualize wonyoung looking at her pathetically from across the room.

the room came to a sudden silence. y/n sluggishly raised her head. was their history teacher here early?

there he was. yang jungwon, frozen at her classroom's doorframe with a notebook in his hand. his cheeks were flushed with a light pink as he weaved through the students, approaching y/n's desk.

y/n felt herself stop breathing. he did come to fulfill his promise, after all. huh. maybe not all men are liars.

jungwon bashfully smiled at her, gently placing his notebook on her desk. he wasn't hard of hearing, he could tell that everyone was whispering about him--more specifically, about his confession note. all he could hope for was that his crush wasn't super obvious, but he was sure that what he was doing at the moment actually made it 10x more obvious.

"um, here's my notes," jungwon said in a hushed voice, conscious of the sudden volume change. "hopefully they're useful."

"thanks..." y/n mumbled, making eye contact with the boy for a mere second before glancing away. it was too hard for her to contain the pounding feelings in her heart, especially when the yang jungwon had his eyes on her (and only her).

she could only imagine a world where he would stare at her, eyes filled with love and adoration.

"no problem," jungwon replied, noting to himself about how cute she looked today. if only he could sit next to her, one arm around her shoulder and another guiding her through the history material. he would never forgive the administrator who put them in separate classes.

"um, aren't you going to be late?"

y/n's comment snapped him out of his trance, suddenly realizing that he was still standing in front of her desk with students around him still whispering about his confession note. awkward.

jungwon shut his eyes close for a second. she probably thinks i'm a creep. niki, i guess you're right.

"uh, yeah. i'll just...i'll go now."

he mustered up a little courage to send a small wave before rushing out of the room, eyes glued to the floor in front of him.

y/n let out a quiet snicker, finding the boy's awkwardness humorous (and extremely cute). unfortunately, she realized too late that everyone's eyes were still on her and coughed unnaturally loud to cover up her previous reaction.

the sound of heels clicking caused all the students' eyes to rip away from her and immediately slide into their seats. their history teacher was finally here, ready to lead another sleep-inducing lecture.

"good morning class," the history teacher, ms. choi, announced. "please turn to page 127 of your textbooks. we're picking up where we left off from last class with the silla dynasty."

y/n reached for jungwon's notebook as the students around her searched for the page in their textbooks. she easily found the respective page of notes due to the sticky note jungwon had marked the page with.

such a cute pink, y/n thought, brushing her thumb over the familiar-colored sticky note. too bad he used it for a different girl.

it was twenty minutes into the class and y/n found herself extremely bored. although jungwon's notes were perfectly organized and super helpful, y/n couldn't help but feel her attention span slowly decreasing. the textbook was boring, the content was boring, and ms. choi's voice was boring.

she decided to flip through jungwon's notebook. as expected, all of his notes were neatly written with key ideas highlighted and citations to textbook pages. what else could she expect from him?

y/n closed the notebook, running her thumb along the edge of the pages like a flipbook. the glimpses of blue highlighter partially satisfied her boredom, along with the flash of pink at the very end of the notebook. wait, pink?

y/n's curiosity got the best of her as she turned to the end of the notebook, revealing multiple pink sticky notes with lengthy paragraphs and words scratched out in black ink. being the nosy person she is, she decided to read the notes, tuning out ms. choi's monotonous voice.

i've liked you for a long time, but i haven't had the courage to confess.

oh. they were drafts of his confession note.

y/n pursed her lips, taking in a sharp breath. she swallowed down the discomfort she felt and continued to read the notes.

ever since freshman year, i've been attracted to you in so many more ways than i can describe. that sweet smile you show off to your friends. the laugh you let out at small jokes. the tenderness in your eyes as you talk with the cashier in the snack shop. i see why she said that you remind her of her granddaughter.

y/n bitterly smiled. he really likes her, huh?

i like am in love am pathetically in love with you. i feel like a lost puppy, hoping for the smallest interaction with you every single day. i wonder if you can feel my stares from across the lunch room, desperately hoping that you would happen to notice me and look back. i know we haven't talked much since freshman year, but i can't help but imagine us together.

y/n quickly diverted her eyes to a different sticky note, chewing on her lip harshly. she didn't know why, but she couldn't stop reading them, even if his words only caused her more pain.

i hope you can accept this confession, but if you don't like me back i hope we can become friends again. from, your freshman bio partner (p.s. i'm glad that we were paired up for that frog lab)

wait, frog lab? y/n's eyebrows furrowed. the only partner jungwon had for the frog dissection lab in freshman biology was...her.

y/n's heart pounded against her chest. she needed to read whatever note jungwon posted on the confession board, right fucking now.

the moment the bell rang, y/n shoved all of her history materials in her bag. she didn't want to spare a minute from reaching that damned confession board that she had been avoiding since morning.

grabbing jungwon's notebook, y/n joined the crowd of students rushing towards the canteen, forgetting about wonyoung who appeared behind her.

"let's eat with rei today, hm?" wonyoung suggested.

"can't talk right now, won. i need to be somewhere," y/n responded before pushing her way through the crowd.

"y/n, wait!"

y/n ignored her friend's concerned voice, mentally making a note to apologize to her later. she ran through the halls, opposite of all the students heading towards the canteen. hugging the notebook close to her chest, she made a beeline towards the arts building, feeling the beating in her chest increase every single second.

once she arrived, she slowed down her pace, allowing herself to catch her breath and wipe off the light sweat on her forehead. there she stood in the same position she was in at 8:25 AM, right in front of the confession board littered with colorful sticky notes.

a couple of students lingered around the board, checking for any new confessions before heading to lunch. as y/n's breathing slowed down, she approached the center of the board, eyes locked on the pink sticky note posted mere hours ago.

she took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself to read the note she had been avoiding all day.

to my freshman year crush, i've liked you for a long time, but i haven't had the courage to confess. that is, until now. ever since freshman year, i've been attracted to you. your smile, your laugh, your kind personality. it's no wonder the cashier at the snack shop says that you remind her of her granddaughter. grandparents only say that to people they know have the purest, sweetest souls on earth, and you are one of them. i am utterly, pathetically, and desperately in love with you. i feel like a lost puppy, hoping for the smallest interaction with you every single day. i wonder if you can feel my longing stares from across the lunch room, hoping that you would happen to notice me and meet my eyes. i know we haven't talked much since freshman year, but i can't help but imagine us together. i wish that i had the courage to confess in person, but i'm afraid of rejection. i hope that this confession comes off well to you, and i 100% understand if you don't like me back. i just hope that we can be friends again, at the very least. from, your freshman bio partner (p.s. i'm glad we were paired up for the frog lab. as taylor swift said, i guess i was enchanted to meet you)

y/n felt her breathing stop as she finished reading the note. it was too good to be true. she needed to talk to him, to confirm with him, and to confess to him.

she wasted no time running to the canteen, earning questioning stares from the students she passed by. the canteen was busy per usual, bustling with student chatter and silverware sounds. y/n skimmed the room, eyes landing on the one person she wanted to talk to.

she rushed towards his table, avoiding the mass of lunch trays around her. "jungwon!" she called.

the said boy looked up from his table, curious round eyes meeting hers. "could i talk to you for a minute?"

jungwon nodded, standing up to follow y/n. what she didn't notice was sunoo winking at jungwon, niki mouthing a "go get her, tiger!", and minji softly smiling with pride.

jungwon followed y/n to the hallway outside of the canteen, trickling with the last students getting their lunches. y/n faced jungwon, feeling her cheeks heat up at the sight of his curious gaze.

"um, i wanted to return this to you," y/n began, handing over his notebook.

"oh, thanks," jungwon replied, taking it into his hands. he felt himself grow a little disappointed--was that all she wanted to tell me?

y/n softly cleared her throat before deciding to continue. "so, uh, this might be in invasion of privacy but i got really bored in history and looked through your notebook and i might have found your sticky notes and i might have read them...without your permission?"

"notes? what notes?" jungwon mumbled, flipping through his notebook. it only took a second of him skimming the sticky notes in the back for him to shut the notebook closed, a furious blush spreading across his face.

"and, uh, i read one that ended with 'from your freshman bio partner' or something like that and it mentioned the frog lab. and then i remembered that i was your partner during that lab but i wasn't sure if you wrote that for sure so i went to check the confession board and it said the same thing so...yeah."

jungwon was frozen, cheeks bright red with panic-stricken eyes. "so...uh, i just wanted to confirm if-"

"yes," jungwon whispered, not daring to meet her eyes. "it- it is about you..."

he squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of silence, preparing himself for rejection. he could already feel the weight in his heart getting heavier, thumping against his chest.

"i, uh, i- i like you too, jungwon."

the boy opened his eyes, shock evident on his face. he whipped his head up, now seeing a y/n with an equally flushed face not meeting his eyes.

"y- you do?"

"yeah," y/n mumbled, a shy smile spreading on her face. "i really, really like you."

jungwon couldn't help but smile back, trying his best to contain the butterflies practically swarming in his stomach.

"so, um, i was actually planning to confess to you today," y/n admitted, earning a surprised reaction from jungwon. "but i saw you post your note on the confession board first and i got scared because...well, i thought that you confessed to someone else."

y/n reached into her blazer's pocket, pulling out the crumpled blue sticky note that she had been hiding the whole day. "i guess i'll just give it to you now since...well, yeah..."

she quickly flattened out the sticky note before handing it to jungwon, who gently took it with a small smile.

to jungwon, i've liked you for so long but i've finally decided to confess. since freshman year, you've been nothing but kind to me. i felt myself melt into a puddle every single time you shot a smile at me or offered your help with something. i can’t help but admire your charming appearance, your charismatic leadership qualities, and the smile that you give to every person alike. you’re loved by so many people and i happened to fall into that same crowd. i know you most likely do not feel the same but i hope that we can talk more, the way we did back in freshman year. from, anonymous

jungwon couldn't help the shy grin growing on his face. every word written completely erased all the anxious emotions he had in his head. this is what it feels like, he thought. this is what it feels like to be loved back.

jungwon didn't need to say anything. he simply took y/n's clammy hand into his, intertwining their shaking fingers together. no words were needed after they had spent hours of their lives writing out their feelings for each other. they shared a smile, feeling secure together and lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes.

for the first time for the day, y/n was glad that jungwon had interrupted her confession, pining his heart on the board so that she could give him hers.

taglist: @jngwnlvs

#snwpcktz long fics !#jungwon #enhypen #enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #jungwon fluff #yang jungwon #enhypen jungwon #enhypen fluff #jungwon oneshot #enhypen oneshot #jungwon fic #enhypen fic #jungwon imagines #enhypen imagines #jungwon oneshots #enhypen oneshots #first fic i'm really scared #pls tell me if this is good and if i should write more

1K notes · View notes

srjlvr · 7 months

Text

WEVERSE CRUSH !

YOUR favorite hobby after a busy schedule is going on weverse and trying to get jungwon’s(your classmates) attention so bad! what happens when it does actually happen? you get excited of course! but what happens when you get a reply from him every day?

OR in which you caught jungwon’s attention with your posts on weverse and now, regardless of his tight schedule and millions of fans who’s trying to get his attention, he’s only searching for your posts every day.

PAIRING idol!jungwon X idol&fan!femreader

GENER fluff , a bit of angst , comfort , type of classmates to lovers(?) but they’re basically strangers on weverse !

WARNINGS vv cringy i think , mentions of stress , awful humor and pick up lines ! (pls lmk if i missed something)

WC 4.9k+ (the longest i’ve written ever!)

NOTE this is to all of the fans that never got noticed by jungwon on weverse but do get a lot of spams💔 n e ways pls like this i worked hard on this☹️🤞🏻

NOT PROOFREAD!!

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 10:20PM jungwon! i had a busy schedule today but thinking about you always made me feel better🤍

“trying again?” one of your group mates glanced at you staring at your phone, “i’m just sharing how my day was” you shrugged.

“he’s got like millions of posts, you know that too” she chuckled, “instead of being online in your own group’s weverse you’re going online on your fan account”

“i’m online everyday you’re just overreacting” you rolled your eyes.

“why don’t you just talk to him in class? didn’t you say you both were classmates?” she pat your head.

you shook your head, “it’s not that easy, we’re both barely attending to class because of our busy schedule, and we basically stopped talking after a while”

“it’s the only way i can interact with him—at least hope so? idk”

“and what if he does notice you?” she suddenly asked, “what are you going to do then?”

“probably faint”

“you’re acting like a real fan right now”

“what do you mean acting? i am a real fan”

“no you’re not, you’re just crushing over him and don’t know how to properly confess so you’re using this app and hoping to get noticed” your other group mate barged in your conversation.

“i mean, you both are classmates but you’re always so desperate to grab his attention on weverse, what’s the point of that?” she added.

“it kinda like became my usual thing to do, before i log into our weverse i log into enhypen and leave a post there” you shrugged, “it’s one of my favorite things to do”

“you’re hopelessly in love” they both teased you.

“good morning!” you greet your classmates. your schedule was clean for the whole week so you decided were forced to go back to school.

your friends greeted you back and you sat at your desk.

“morning” jungwon mumbled as he entered the class.

it was a rare sight, jungwon’s never usually at school. his schedule is way busier than yours and considering the fact that you show up to school once a month, it was quite surprising to see jungwon’s presence.

“morning” you greeted back and he went to his seat at the corner of the class.

you missed him. you actually did. having a crush is more than just thinking about someone 24/7, it’s also about missing him.

jungwon is your role model, he had always been. being classmates for more than four years together, he helped you getting into the company you wanted and encouraged you to stay until you debut.

you went through all of this because of him and yet, both of you rarely even talk.

jungwon couldn’t quite explain why, perhaps it’s your pretty eyes that he gets lost while staring at them, or was it your smile that always ( no matter when ! ) lights up the world, his world.

he found himself getting all shy and closed up being around you, call it cheesy but jungwon just can’t stop thinking about you and missing you.

he tends to come to school more often these days, some might think he’s just trying to catch up with school, but truth is, he’s searching for you every day, to see you and your smile.

you sat at the front line while jungwon sat at the corner, which makes it easier for him to stare at you without you even noticing.

“should i ask him to eat lunch with us today?” you whispered to your seatmate and she nodded.

“i just don’t know—“ “morning! finally y/n we get to see you!” the teacher got in class and cut you.

after class you gathered all your stuffs quickly but stopped when you felt a figure standing in front of you,

“hey um” you coughed, “jungwon, i’m jungwon-“ he cut you off.

you froze, a bit taken aback, “no i know-“ “oh! oh right” he nodded.

“i was wondering if you’d like to grab some-“

“hey y/n! let’s go to the cafeteria!” your friends called you and you instantly frowned, “i can’t, something urgent came up and i need to go”

they nodded and left, you then turned to jungwon, “what did you want to-“ “it’s okay, never mind about that” he quickly mumbled and left.

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:34PM jungwon! i had school today but i had to leave early today because something urgent came up ): i missed lunch with someone i really adore and im really sad):

“hey jay! check this out” jungwon showed jay his phone. “what’s wrong?” jay asked after reading the post.

“it seems so weird! it happened to me today at school too” he coughed, “with y/n”

“y/n again? you never stop talking about her” niki joined in.

jungwon sighed, “i can’t stop thinking about her, it’s like she’s living in my mind rent free”

jay pat jungwon’s shoulder, he can see how sad is friend is and how difficult things are for him.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: you’ll always have tomorrow to spend together!

“OH MY GOD” you froze, looking at your phone for a few good minutes until your group mates came in rushing, ��ARE YOU OKAY?”

one of them held a pan in her hand, ready to attack any stalker.

“it’s-“ you tried to speak, “it’s-“

“just give me the phone!” another one grabbed your phone and looked through it.

she sighed when she realized what was happening, “really y/n?”

“what is it?”

the curious cats followed her and peeked into her phone, they all sighed when they saw what is this all about.

“i was about to experience a heart attack!! we don’t do those things y/n!”

“no but you don’t understand!”

“yang jungwon just replied to me!” you walked back and forth around the room.

“i need you to sit down and calm down!” the leader held your shoulders and dropped you on the couch, “it happened once and it probably won’t happen again, i’m really happy for you”

“if you don’t get noticed by him at school at least you got noticed by him on weverse”

“BURNNN” they all shout and giggled.

you know they were joking, your groupmates became your family in a blink of an eye. they take a good care of you, and worry about you 24/7, like good old sisters.

but what they like to do the most is to tease you, which you find very annoying, but they just find it really cute.

“i’m definitely going to keep an eye on her” jungwon said to jay who was sitting next to him, “i have no choice but to trust your instincts now” he replied.

“how was your schedule yesterday?” your classmate asked you the next day.

you laid your head on your desk and groaned, “it was pretty tiring most of the time”

they pat your head and let you off, without having any other distractions—you fell asleep.

“morn-” jungwon got into the classroom and noticed your sleeping figure.

he smiled to himself, finding you so cute and adorable with your head all smashed over your desk and your slow breaths that made him think you were choking there for a second.

“what are you looking at?” his friend put his hand over jungwon’s shoulder, “nothing, i was just thinking about something”

“y/n wake up!” you heard someone whispering. you slowly opened your eyes and was welcomed by your friends all gathered around you with a big smile, “what is it?” you uttered.

“someone got you this drink” one of your friends held out your favorite drink, “you slept through all the periods, it’s lunch time already”

you looked at your phone and gasped, “why did no one wake me up?”

“we tried, you just were in deep sleep”

“thank you for the drink, did you happen to see who that was?” you curiously looked at the drink as your friends shrugged, “we all went out to get our lunch”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 6:08PM something really weird happened today at school! someone bought me my favorite drink and put it on my desk! do you think i should look for that person?

“look!!” jungwon, who was active on weverse suddenly noticed the post, “it’s the same person from yesterday”

jay sat next to him and peeked at jungwon’s phone, “why? did you buy y/n her favorite drink today without her knowing?” he giggled but stopped when he noticed jungwon started blushing, “you can’t be serious”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: go search for that person!!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i wish you good luck🤍

“AGAIN??” you shout, you sat on the couch with your groupmates and made them all jump when you shout.

“again?” they sighed, “WAIT WHAT?”

you showed them your phone with jungwon’s replies and they all joined you to the shouts.

“you know what they say!” one of them said, “third time a charm!” the rest of you completed the sentence and giggled.

“i’m going to be full honest now,” another one said, “i don’t think there is going to be a third time”

“you never know!”

the next day you got notified that your “schedule-free” week was a complete lie.

“what do you mean i can’t go to school this week? you told me i’m free!” your argued your manager.

“some photoshoots and sponsors came up, i’m sorry it’s like that” she pat your shoulder.

“how am i going to see jungwon again?” you asked your group leader.

if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s probably to listen and give advices, that’s why you find yourself always laying your head on her lap and venting out your concerns.

“it’s not like you’ve seen him a lot before” she said, “right?”

“no but it was different this time! i was actually ready to talk to him about everything”

“what do you mean everything?”

“i don’t know i—“ you sighed, “my feelings? the way i feel whenever i look at him? everything”

“you do realize that it’d probably be weird to confess to someone you rarely talk to, right?”

“i hate that you’re right” you rolled your eyes, “i was actually ready to befriend him, to get closer to him”

“you’re so boring y/n! you should be more bold!”

“what do you expect me to do?”

“show him that you’re interested in him without being too weird and confessing your feelings” she smirked.

“but how?”

“do you know how to rizz up someone?”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:39AM jungwon! aside from stealing hearts, what do you do?

“are you serious with me right now? why did you post that!” you shout at your leader who was busy laughing her ass off, “is that what you meant by being bold?”

“that is how you rizz up people now!”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: do you normally flirt with people so easily?

“OH MY GOD??” you dropped your phone and your friend froze, “don’t tell me he replied” she gasped.

“ALMOST INSTANTLY” you nodded and kneeled to get your now broken phone.

“NO WAY” she laughed, “third time a charm!”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: but other than stealing hearts i think about you🤍

“slap me right now” you smacked your hand over your forehead, “okay” she slapped you.

“why would you do that?”

“you asked for it!”

on the other side, jungwon was giggling at his phone, staring at it for a few good minutes, that was until heeseung took his phone away.

“hey! give it back” jungwon tried to take his now stolen phone back but heeseung was too strong,

“i saw you smiling at your phone so i thought you were texting someone,” heeseung sighed and returned jungwon’s phone, “but weverse, really?”

jungwon shrugged, “i’m just replying to fans, they’re cute”

heeseung shook his head in return, “it’s not ‘fans’ you’re talking to, it’s only one specific fan you’re replying to”

“i’ve been replying to other fans too”

“that’s what you’d like to think”

heeseung was right, jungwon does only reply to the person he said he’d keep an eye on, which is totally fine, but at what cost?

“fans are starting to think you’re dating that person secretly, you should be careful” heeseung sighed.

“you’re right, that person just interests me” jungwon replied, “i have this weird feeling it might be y/n”

“y/n? why would she be on our weverse page?” heeseung tilt his head, “doesn’t she have her own group’s weverse page to go through?”

“yeah, but some posts of her really reminds me of situations that occurred between us,” jungwon nodded, “look, a few days ago she posted something that was really similar to what happened at school!”

heeseung took jungwon’s phone again to look through the suspicious account, “let’s just keep an eye on this account”

“that’s what i’ve been trying to say!”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:45AM jungwon i was so surprised when i got a reply from you and dropped my phone💔 it’s broken now!!

“that’s—“ jungwon gasped, “that’s not what i meant to happen with my response”

heeseung just giggled, “i mean who wouldn’t be surprised to get a reply from their favorite idol?”

jungwon nodded and slowly tapped his reply.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: haha i’d be surprised if i were you too!!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: how will i ever be able to repay you?

“now it just feels like he’s flirting back with me” you chuckled.

“you caught jungwon’s attention y/n!” your leader giggled, “notice how he’s always replying to you almost instantly? it’s as if he’s waiting to see your posts”

you shook your hand, “no way! why would jungwon wait for me to be online?”

“that my friend,” she put her hand on your shoulder, “is up to you to figure that out”

the next day you begged your manager to cancel your schedule, with the excuse of, “i have exams coming up and i need to catch up, do you want to see me fail?”

and it actually worked!

today you’re going to see jungwon and talk to him, no matter what!

you arrived at school and sat by your usual seat, putting your broken phone on the desk and laying your head over your hands next to it.

you slowly drifted to sleep, school is too boring on the morning anyway!

as jungwon entered the class he first looked over your direction, of course he would.

he smiled to himself, he always does when he looks at you.

he then noticed your phone that was right next to you, it was smashed and broken, as if it was dropped.

jungwon gasped, he opened his phone and entered weverse, searching the account he’s been keeping an eye on, and that was it.

a dropped and now broken phone, it’s a match!

he took a picture of your broken phone and went back to his seat to text his members about the shocking news.

‘it’s definitely her’ he sent the text and added the picture of your broken phone.

‘i don’t think so, just because of a broken phone?’ jay responded.

‘yes! she said yesterday that her phone was dropped and got broken’ jungwon replied.

‘it might be a coincidence’ heeseung claimed.

jungwon was about to text them back but had to turn off the phone once the teacher entered the class.

first break of the day was a good opportunity to talk to jungwon. you woke up in the middle of the second period and thought about ways to approach him.

you searched for him in the class, eyes scanning every place until you landed on his seat, of course, that’s how he usually spends his first break. in his usual seat, with a snack in one hand and in the other he’s holding his phone and scrolling through social media.

you got up, suddenly feeling bold enough to make steps towards his seat.

“hey jungwon” you let out.

he froze for a second, then turning off his phone and putting away his snack, “oh, hey y/n”

“heyyyyy” you said again.

“hey?” he questioned.

“uhm” you coughed, “sorry”

“it’s okay, is there something wrong?”

“no no!” you shook your hand, “i was just wondering”

you was about to continue but your phone buzzed, you got a notification.

“your phone’s broken” he pointed out.

shit, you thought. “yeah” you giggled, “i uh—“

“i dropped it after my members decided to pull a scary prank on me” good one.

he nodded and chuckled, “so?”

“so,” you cleared your throat, “i was wondering if you’d like to start over again”

finally!! you cheered.

“i mean, you’ve helped me a lot through my trainee days and encouraged me to achieve my dreams but we stopped talking after i debuted and i really feel like—“ you spoke too fast and jungwon cut you off, “i’d really like that”

“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:50PM i asked my crush if he’d like to get to know each other again today!! he’s a person that really helped me through tough times and always encouraged me! we were good friends back then but stopped talking after a while, i really thought he was angry at me for some reason, but i couldn’t stop having feelings for him, so i made the first step today and he actually agreed!! im so happy!!

“you did WHAT?” your group leader asked you.

“i did it, i asked if he’d like to get to know each other aga-“

“oh im so proud of you my child” she hugged you tightly and pecked your forehead, “you’re all grown up now”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: well,

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’m sure he wasn’t angry with you at all!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im happy that you two are starting all over again, who knows, maybe he feels the same about you ;)

“got you y/n” jungwon giggled.

“why don’t you just talk with her about it?” jake put his hand over jungwon’s shoulders as he stared at his phone.

“it’s difficult” jungwon frowned, “do i just go like ‘oh hey! i know you have a weverse account and i know your user, i have feelings for you too so let’s date’?”

“yeah!” jake nodded and jungwon groaned, “you’re no help”

“so? tell us everything” your members sat you on the couch while they surrounded you with some curious eyes.

“about?”

“about what happened at school!”

“i went to jungwon, asked him if he’d like to start over again, he said he’d love to, so we went together to get some lunch and talked about everything we missed, it was real fun honestly really recommend you to do that too—“

“did you confess, or not” they all asked.

“no why would i confess so soon”

they all sighed, “no drama, no fun!”

you rolled your eyes, “can we at least eat something now?”

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 9:27PM i don’t think he feels the same, but it was really fun to spend the day together with him, his company has always made me feel warm and comfortable.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im more than happy to hear that! first breaks are always so fun when you spend them with a person you like ^-^

you tilt your head in confusion, showing your phone to your members, “look at that”

they all read your post and his reply, “what’s so weird about it?”

“i never said i spent the first break together with him”

“DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS?” you freaked out, “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD” you held your head, moving back and forth around the room.

“y/n calm down!!” your leader said, “maybe he just assumed it was the first break since it’s the first time of the day you get to spend with other people!”

“you’re right,” you breathed in, calming yourself down, “thank you”

next day you went back in track, your manager told you the next time you’d be showing up to school would be only on exams and maybe next month.

your schedule became busier than before, you barely had time to breath. going back and forth, from a phothshoot to an interview then practice and more.

you were drained and overworked, your phone hasn’t been touched ever since the last day you showed up at school, which means—you haven’t showed up on weverse a few weeks already.

you’d see jungwon only when you arrive to school to take exams, but then disappear right away after you finish them.

“waiting for a new update again?” sunghoon asked jungwon who was staring at his phone and refreshing the page every minute, “yeah” he replied.

“she’s always online around these hours” he added.

“have you seen her at school?” sunghoon asked, jungwon froze for a second, thinking about the last time you showed up at school, “only when there’s an exam we need to take”

“maybe she’s just having a busy schedule,” sunghoon shrugged, “you’re barely online when you have a tight schedule”

“right” jungwon nodded, “but i wonder if she’s doing well” he sighed and closed his phone.

the past days has been awful to you. you slowly felt yourself vanishing, like a lifeless soul walking around.

your groupmates always looks after you worriedly, you’d barely even talk to anyone.

“y/n what about eating something?” your leader asked you, “no i’m okay, i ate just a few minutes ago” you smiled.

that was a total lie, you simply didn’t feel like eating lately.

slowly but surely you stared at your phone, five minutes won’t hurt, right?

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 12:57PM haven’t been active lately and i miss being here and interacting with you jungwon! i don’t think i’ll be able to be active again so i’m here to say that you should take good care of yourself, eat your meals in time and rest when you need to.🤍 your health always comes first!!

you sighed and turned off your phone.

jungwon, who was busy staring at his phone and waiting for a new update suddenly jumped in his chair.

“finally”

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im sorry to hear that, is everything okay?

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’ll make sure to take care of myself as long as you take care of yourself too 🤍

he replied immediately, as if he’s the one getting a notification from you each time you post something—when it’s supposed to be the opposite.

“jungwon we’ve recently found out that you’re suffering from that illness,” niki pat jungwon’s head,

“what is it?”

“the ‘weverse crush’ illness” niki laughed and jungwon sighed.

“you can’t stop refreshing the page to see a new post from her!” jay claimed, “and you’re replying so fast whenever she does post something” jake added.

“you should just get her phone number and text her” heeseung shrugged.

“but im not sure it’s her” jungwon turned off his phone.

“all clues points at her, it’s worth a shot” sunghoon nodded.

the next day you were forced to go back to school, your school principal complained about the fact that you’ve been missing most of your classes and nearly failing in all of them.

so it’s settled, you’ll be going to school for a month sharp, without any useless inconveniences.

first day of school after a while of not being there felt like a nightmare.

you looked at the school building with horror, yet, you felt a bit excited to see jungwon again.

you took your usual seat, put your earphones in and listened to your favorite song.

when jungwon entered the class, he was surprised to see you sitting there and staring at one point of the class.

he knocked on your desk and you zoomed out, “oh, hey” you smiled weakly.

something definitely happened while you were gone, “hey, it’s good to see you again”

the teacher entered the class right away and jungwon ran to his seat.

at lunch, you stayed in your desk, excusing yourself from your friends and going back to your books to read and study.

jungwon frowned, he has to do something about it.

he went to the cafeteria and got your favorite snack, he knows it’s your favorite, he remembers.

you were so focused on your study book to notice jungwon’s figure next to you.

“knock knock?” he questioned and you looked at him, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away.

“hey again” you closed your book and focused on him.

“i got it for you” he handed you your favorite snack with a wide grin on his face.

“thank you”

silence. it was so quiet that you could even hear the birds outside.

“is everything okay?” he suddenly asked.

“huh?”

“oh yes, everything’s amazing” you smiled.

“we both know you’re lying”

turns out you were a bad liar after all.

“i’m not going to force you to speak,” he pat your shoulder, “but i’m here for you”

those words, were enough to break you down.

you felt comfort around him, you felt everything you feel around someone you’re in love with, you felt warm, welcomed and understood.

so you told him everything, from A to Z.

jungwon is known as his group’s no.1 comforter, and he’s now your personal no.1 comforter as well.

he knew the exact words to say to you and how to make you feel better.

right when you finished crying he told you a joke, and now you were shedding tears out of laughter.

“thank you” you looked at him with comfort.

“anytime” he chuckled and stole your snack, “you’re not crying anymore so i’ll just take that and save it for myself”

you rolled your eyes and kept messing around until it was time for another class.

wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:30PM i had the best day ever today! i saw my favorite person ever at school today, after a long time i haven’t been able to see him! i also cried in front of him (was so embarrassing) but he comforted me so well, i think i’m falling in love all over again.

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: see!! lunch time can be so fun when you’re with a person you like too!!

↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i hope you’ll be able to spend more time together in the future!!

“he definitely knows” you freaked out.

“even if he does,” your leader clapped, “what’s so wrong about it?”

“what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“he does”

“how do you know that?”

“because i just do!” she sighed, “otherwise he wouldn’t reply to you so instantly as if he waits for your posts every day”

“you’re right” you nodded.

“but what if he does it just so he could laugh at me with his members?”

“not a chance” she groaned, “stop overthinking so much and just talk to him about it!”

“so um,” the next day, you dragged jungwon out of the classroom as soon as he entered.

you had to talk about it before the rest of the day continues.

“you have weverse right…?” you suddenly asked, “oh my god that was so stupid of me of course you do you’re an idol and—“

“i know it’s you” he cut you off.

“what?”

“isn’t that what you wanted to ask me?” he tilt his head, “i know it’s you” he repeated.

“and,” you wanted to continue but couldn��t find the words.

“i like you too” he suddenly confessed.

“wha—“

you were about to respond but he cut you off with a peck on your lips, “i said i like you too”

you looked at him, making eye contact for a few good minutes, both of your cheeks are now as red as a tomato,

and as you looked at his pretty face, you could notice how red his ears became.

“for how long?” you asked,

“ever since we started talking” he smiled, “your pretty smile, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, everything about you just made me think about you all day”

“then why—“ “i couldn’t talk to you after you debuted, i was so scared it might hurt your image, and i couldn’t always find the right words to talk to you,” he looked down,

“i didn’t want to look like a loser in front of you” he kicked the air like a little child.

“jungwon” you smiled, “looking like a loser isn’t something to be ashamed of” you giggled.

“i like you, in any form or any shape or whatever!” you joked and hugged him tightly.

“would you like to go on a date with me today right after school?” he suddenly asked.

“so bold of you” you teased, pecking the tip of his nose, “but yes, i’d love to go on a date with you”

“can i finally call you mine?” he held your hand.

“of course” you pecked his lips,

“don’t get confused when you’re replying to me on weverse!”

#enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #enhypen oneshots #enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #enhypen jungwon #jungwon scenarios #jungwon fluff #jungwon drabbles #yang jungwon #jungwon oneshots #jungwon angst

1K notes · View notes

nishions · 2 months

Text

MOONLIT DANCE

SUMMARY After constantly denying that Jungwon likes you back, your mind is changed when he asks you to be his underneath the moonlight. PAIRING crush ! jungwon x fem ! reader GENRE oneshot & highschool! au, romance, fluff, f2l(?) WARNINGS jungwon is a tease and the biggest flirt ever, y/n is is a tiny bit gullible, they are awfully cute together, very fluffy (i mean it.) p.s read my note at the end!

"HE LIKES YOU, Y/N"

You whipped your head to Eunchae, who stared back at you with a blank face. You nearly yelled. "WHAT?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yang Jungwon has the fattest crush on you Y/n. He never tries to keep friendships or gets himself into relationships because he's focus is always school. But you're different. He doesn't just cuddle up to anyone either, Y/n. He wants you."

"Yeah right, Chae." You shook your head and looked the other way to hide the light shade of pink growing on your cheeks.

"Y/n, you can't fool me! I'm your best friend, you are totally blushing right now! Me and Sunoo have been gossiping over you two for months, and I know enough to know that you are in denial!" She laughed as you threw a pencil at her.

"I am not in denial." You chuckle.

"Denial? about what Y/n?" Eunchae raises her brows at you. You paused as Eunchae smiled victoriously. Turning around, you look up to face the boy you were currently in denial about.

"Nothing Jungwon. It's nothing."

"It can't be nothing if you're turning completely red." Jungwon sat next to you and leaned in close. "I won't tease you about it, Y/n. I find it really cute."

He grins. God, it felt so hot in here. Was it always this hot?

He leans back and looks around like he didn't just make your heart go crazy. Eunchae watches with the biggest smile on her face.

"Say Y/n, would you like to go to the valentines dance together?" You stare at Jungwon and from the corner of your eye you see

Eunchae giggling like crazy. From the outside, it probably looks like Eunchae was the one asked out by him; but your heart was doing somersaults' over and over again. It takes you a full moment to gather yourself to say your answer. "Yes, I would love to go with you."

THE DECORATIONS WERE GORGEOUS. The lights glowing and the ballroom decorations look beautiful. You take in the sight in front of you. The soft yellow fairy lights, the tables set out with pink tulips, the dance floor for later, the doors wide open to let the air in. It's stunning to see your school actually try to look good for once. You feel yourself get excited.

Everyone is already here, and you look around for a bit to see who you could talk to later. You feel nervous. Especially you know who you were waiting on. Jungwon. You made sure to look presentable tonight for him, and it seemed to have worked.

"Y/n...you look amazing."

His voice, the voice that made you feel so giddy inside. Jungwon looked so handsome and tall. As always, you thought. He always looked good, even when he didn't try. But something about him being in a suit makes you ten times more delusional than you were.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Yang." You laugh as he puts a corsage around your wrist, the pink flower matching the one in his suit pocket.

"You're taken by me tonight." He grabs your hand and kisses it. Classy move. You feel like bursting at any moment. Your heart was beating rapidly and it was getting hard to breath.

"Let's dance!" Jungwon smiles as he intertwines your hand with his, pulling you over to the dance floor. You shake your head as he holds you close to his body and spins you around. He laughs and continues to hold you near. You had never felt this happy with one singular person before. His hold on your waist has your heart fluttering. His kisses on your forehead feels so right. His innocent looks and eyes say more than enough words. He wanted everyone to fade out and only have you and him tonight.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND LOOK AT THE GARDEN." He whispers to you and you nod, holding his hand as he leads you out. The night is beautiful for sure. The stars twinkling and the moonlight hitting your face. Everything is so perfect.

You watch as Jungwon plucks out a pink flower from the bush. "A pretty flower for my pretty girl." You laugh at his cheesy pickup line. You take the flower from him. "Thank you, Yang. For both the compliment and the flower." You give him a gentle smile come close to him. His smile brighter than ever. His doe-like eyes staring back at you.

"What's with the staring?" You avert your eyes away from his, focusing on the ground instead. He grabs your chin making you look up. He hums, as if he was waiting for a response

"I think you look super handsome right now. Like extra, extra handsome. You make my heart beat so fast it's kinda scary." You say quietly as you wait for his response.

"You make me feel the same way, pretty." Jungwon replies softly. "I'd kiss you right now to prove it. Only if you want me to."

"Prove it, Won."

"Gladly." He says as he pulls your waist closer. His lips placed on yours and your arms wrapped around his neck. Sparks are flying and your heart is flipping. He deepens the kiss holds you tighter, like it's your last dance together. You feel all the emotion Jungwon has been feeling in a single kiss. Jungwon wanted you and you wanted him.

"I like you a lot, Y/n. I think you could tell with the way I was kissing you." He chuckles. "I've liked you before we were even paired up in Mrs. Kim's class. I wanted to take you out on a date so badly when we met, but I decided to wait for the right time. I'm so happy that you said yes to me when I asked you out today. I was worried that someone had already asked."

You laugh. "Jungwon, I don't think you even know how bad I've been wanting you." He smiles and kisses your cheek. "Trust me when I say this, but I think I want you more."

END.

NOTE hi :) I'm back with another work ^-^ I apologize for my inactivity, I am dealing with school and a bunch of other things! however I will try my best to continue to be active. Thank you so much for all the love on my heeseung fic too! 2k+ notes is crazy, i never expected it to blow up so much! anyway, happy belated birthday to our wonnie :(( likes + reblogs are greatly appreciated

BACK TO THE SHELF !

#jungwon #jungwon x reader #jungwon enhypen #jungwon fluff #jungwon imagines #jungwon oneshots #enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen smut #enha #enha x reader #enha fluff #enha imagines #enhablr

444 notes · View notes

sunghoonbite · 2 months

Text

pairing: jungwon x reader

warnings: smut, sub jungwon, dom reader, pegging, little bit of biting, mommy kink, soft sex?, first time subbing, thigh riding, edging

minors dni

** this will be my only jungwon smut **

you and jungwon always stayed in on saturdays.

so it would be no surprise finding you both cuddled up on the couch, on the bed, or sleeping in until noon.

today you had spent all day doing practically nothing together, which was typical. however, jungwon seemed particularly on edge and frankly, standoffish.

he seemed nervous. each time you reached for his hand he froze for a moment, then proceeded to act normal. such events happened all day, up until now, where he rested his head on your chest, clinging onto you in bed.

jungwon looked up at you, slowly, as if analyzing your features. you leaned in for a quick kiss, which he quickly reciprocated. he wanted more, he needed more. it was clear, demonstrated by him sitting up, grabbing the collar of your shirt, moving closer until he was almost on your lap.

you pulled away.

“won,” you said.

he immediately leaned in to kiss you again, to which you responded by pulling back again.

“won,” you repeated, less gentle this time.

he didn’t respond, he just stared at you blankly, his eyes wide and his lips wet. you weren’t completely sure if he was surprised or if his big eyes just stood out more in the moment.

“what is it?” you asked.

“what do you mean?”

“you’ve been acting different today,” you stated softly, “did i do something?”

he quickly shook his head as if appalled that you could ever believe you could do wrong.

“no, no! not you,” he spoke.

“then what?”

he played with his hands.

“it isn’t important, angel,” he spoke lowly, “but i just want to go back to kissing you now.”

he leaned forward and you leaned back.

“i’m not comfortable doing that until you tell me what’s going on,” you communicated.

this was the truth. knowing jungwon is upset and not attempting to help or even know the cause felt like a crime. you were lucky enough to know him well enough to realize something was wrong, since he typically goes on as if nothing happened. always putting up a happy front, never upset. never sick. never failing.

he looked at you and it was clear that he was embarrassed. it’s not easy to describe, but little changes in his face mean everything. a twitch or a slightly raised eyebrow has more meaning when coming from jungwon. let alone the blood rushing to his face, coloring him a fleshy pink.

“you don’t have to be nervous,” you consoled, “it’s just me.”

“okay,” jungwon replied, then opened his mouth to say more but fell silent. you waited.

he was still sat on your right thigh, your back pressed against your bed’s headboard. your duvet draped against your other leg. he loved to be close to you. he loved moments like these.

“i want you to take control of me,” he stated.

you blinked.

“how do you want me to do that?” you replied, slightly stumbling over your words from the suddenness of his request.

“i want you to do whatever you want to me,” jungwon said.

there was a pause.

“you’re sure?” you asked.

“please,” jungwon responded.

being in control of jungwon was something that appeared only in your fantasies. he was always playing the leader. you assumed he wouldn’t want otherwise. now, you realize, why wouldn’t he want otherwise? he’s always in control. being ENHYPEN’s leader. he needed a break. he needed to be cared for. he needed you.

you kissed him immediately and moved him as close as you could get with him on top of your lap. you continued to clash mouths, breaking the kiss only when air was needed. you slipped your hand up his baggy shirt, feeling his skin against your palm.

“i really need you,” jungwon whimpered into your lips.

“be patient,” you replied gently.

you continued to attempt taking control while you made out, leading the kiss and pressing your thigh up into his crotch. you felt him start to grind against it.

moving your hand down onto his hips, you guided him to lightly rub against you. you felt him tremble under your touch and shiver when your skin met.

you ripped your lips away from jungwon and he nearly whined, but you quickly took his top off before he could say a word.

you lightly moved him so that he was sitting on the mattress, while you sat in front of him. you pulled his sweatpants off and he pulled off his boxers.

he was hard, of course, and already leaking pre-cum solely from the friction.

“aren’t you going to get undressed too?” he asked.

“no,” you replied, and placed both hands on his cock.

“wait, ah,” jungwon moaned. he twitched at your touch immediately, bucking his hips up and leaning his head back.

“look at me,” you ordered as his gaze shifted up.

he obeyed, his eyes half lidded as he stared at you.

you only slightly moved your hands against his cock, rubbing your thumb over his tip every once in a while to get a full body reaction from him.

“i want more,” he whimpered quietly.

you tilted your head at him, smiling slightly.

“please,” he said softly.

you replied by picking up the pace, using his pre-cum as lube while you fucked him with your hands.

it had only been a few minutes, but he already began to shudder and twitch at your actions.

“i’m close,” he whined, “please, can i-“

you removed your hands.

jungwon let out a cry, shifting his entire body back at the loss of contact. without even giving it a second thought, he immediately used his own hand to pleasure himself.

“hands off,” you replied, “you said you wanted me in control.”

he continued lapping at his cock, then uttered, “i do but i-“

you reach out and hold both his wrists in your hand, then grabbed his shirt you took off earlier with your free arm. before he could object, you tied it around his hands, bounding him.

he whined continuously.

“stay there,” you ordered softly.

you rummaged around in your closet to find the box of toys that you rarely used. once, on a mall shopping spree, you purchased a strap-on. it was before you met jungwon, before you knew you would not be the typical dominant one in the relationship. it was still boxed. you were considering returning it until tonight.

when you came back with it, he eyed it immediately, with the pink flush appearing all over his face again.

“can i use this on you?” you asked.

you assumed he would probably object completely, or at least take a moment to consider. instead, he nodded and immediately spoke, “yes.”

you sat back against your headboard once again, and attempted to lift him up onto your lap. you didn’t succeed; he had been working out a bit more than usual and had a good amount of muscle. however, jungwon’s a good boy, and realized what you wanted. he lowered himself onto you, facing you.

with the strap on, lubed up and ready, you repeated again if he was sure. once he confirmed, you eased him onto your cock.

he took the tip and bit down on your shoulder, a moan escaping his lips as soon as you entered him.

“are you okay?” you asked, resisting the urge to pull out of him immediately.

“keep going,” he whimpered into your skin.

you continued to enter him, and with the way his teeth sunk into your skin you knew it would leave a mark tomorrow.

“gentle,” you eased him, and he retracted his teeth slightly.

you kissed him on his neck softly while you fucked him, moving slowly when he gave you the okay to do so. his moans were beautiful, letting out so many different sounds he never made before. he was louder than when you usually had sex, but that was to be expected.

“does it feel okay?” you whispered to him.

“yes,” you heard somewhere through his moans, “more,” he exhaled.

“you want me to go deeper?”

you felt him nod against your skin.

“faster?”

a nod again.

“use your words,” you said gently.

“faster,” he whined, “deeper, please.”

you obliged, and he yelled out. through the plethora of sounds, he tried to speak, somewhere along the lines of “feels so good, please, keep going,” and “please don’t stop.”

you guided jungwon’s hips just as you did when he humped your thigh, but this time he was taking your cock. he rode you out well with the help of your hands.

you thrusted your cock in and out of him now, hearing it slap against his skin, his moans getting deeper and louder. his teeth were digging into your shoulder again, lips puckered around your skin when he wasn’t crying out. from the sheer attractiveness of his whimpers, you moaned out too, whispering little praises as you fucked into him.

“mommy,” he cried out without realizing, and froze up.

you went faster, fucking deep into his walls, silently seething at the fact that you aren’t able to fill him up with cum.

pounding him now, he tensed up and moaned out, “i’m going to cum, please mommy, let me cum.”

“cum for me, wonnie,” and he did, immediately, his cock pressed up against your tummy while his cum dripped down your body.

his entire body twitched and shook as he orgasmed, moaning your name out repeatedly and breathlessly.

you pulled out, slowly enough for it to not be uncomfortable, and pulled him against you despite the mess.

his cheeks were entirely red, the hairs in his face damp from sweat, sticking to him. his lips were pinker and puffier due to his flushed face.

he breathed heavily as he looked at you, chest moving rapidly to go along with his breaths.

“you okay?” you asked, brushing his hair away from his face, eyes teary from the pleasure.

he pressed his face into your neck

“yes,” he hummed against your skin like before, “thank you.”

it was silent now, and you laid like that with him, bodies entangled as you held him against you.

he fell asleep within minutes, as he always did after sex. usually it was frustrating, you being the one awake after him, but today it was peaceful.

you wanted to look at him but his face was pressed against your chest, skin to skin, and you brushed his fingers with your hair, kissing him on the head every so often.

looks like you’ll stay in together sunday too.

#enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #enha smut #jungwon smut #jungwon x reader #oneshot #oneshots #jungwon oneshots #sub jungwon #dom reader

517 notes · View notes

aisclosed · 10 months

Text

love bites - y. jungwon x reader

vampirism comes with unusual cravings and unique solutions

PAIRING: vampire! y. jungwon x vampire! reader GENRE: vampire au , established relationship, fluff | WORDCOUNT: 2.2 k WARNINGS: slightly suggestive , mentions of blood n bites

You do your best to ignore it, the aching sensation radiating from your teeth. But the pain is insistent, throbbing twinges extending from your gums down into your jaw.

The feeling is almost enough to make you cave, to call your boyfriend and whine for any sort of relief. Almost. Instead you sigh, eyes flickering out the large windows looking at the expanse of the city, the light of the stars competing with the fluorescent buildings and signs.

It had been weeks since you'd last left your apartment, you weren't ready, not fully turned or prepared to navigate the world in your new form. Jungwon’s words, not your own, and as much as you missed walking the bustling streets with him, you knew he was right.

There's a faint hunger in the back of your mind, one that had become all too familiar these past weeks. Your brain supplies memories of warm tteokbokki, noodles and dumplings despite knowing that none of the former options could satiate your appetite. As your skin lost its warmth, your heart slowing in its cavity, you had lost your palate for real food, instead craving something that you currently had no way to get on your own.

Wincing as another stab of pain steals your attention. you run your tongue gingerly running across the edge of your teeth, feeling out the sharp edge of the unfamiliar fangs that had begun to protrude.

“I thought I told you to tell me if it hurts,” a low voice cuts through the silence, your heart jumping at the disruption. Even after years of dating, you could never get used to your boyfriend appearing abruptly from the shadows. You snap your mouth shut, glancing over to meet narrowed feline eyes with poorly feigned nonchalance.

“It doesn't hurt, I’m fine,” you say breezily, drawing a scoff from Jungwon. He stalks forward, reaching out to cradle your face, his thumb brushing across your cheek. The icy temperature of his skin is a welcome sensation, and you lean into his palm letting it soothe the flaring ache in your jaw.

“And you expect me to believe you when you're acting like this?” Jungwon mutters unamusedly. You crack your eyes open from where they had fluttered close, sweeping over his furrowed brows. Despite his best attempts at maintaining his stern expression, he was given away easily by the way his eyes softened upon making contact with yours.

Jungwon knew your stubborn mannerisms well, that you would rather suffer than admit to him that you needed his help. Which is how he knew that once you had set your mind to joining him as a vampire you wouldn't relent until your wish was granted. Yet that hadn’t stopped him from trying for several weeks to convince you that it wasn't a necessary change. Promises that he would still love you regardless of how you aged and no he didn’t mind that one day you might be mistaken for his sugar mommy rather than his centuries younger girlfriend. His last comment had earned him an indignant scoff rather than an enamored smile like he had been expecting, and he had spent the rest of the day sucking up to you for your forgiveness.

It had taken many arguments, tears, warnings, pleading kisses and long conversations on what exactly eternity together detailed before Jungwon had surrendered. His coven had been ecstatic at the news, congratulating him with hearty claps on the shoulder and teasing ‘about time’s.

In all honesty, the pair of you both knew that when it came down to it, Jungwon would much rather have you by his side forever than let you wither away. You were his, and he was yours, and when he thought about an eternal lifetime with you his happiness was poorly concealed. Jungwon only wished that it wasn't at the cost of your own humanity. You would no longer be able to enjoy your favorite foods, your cheeks wouldn’t redden to the same degree when he teased you, you’d have to see your loved ones leave this earth, one by one.

The guilt ate at him more than the pain ate at you, and that was your main motivation to hide the truth. So you did your best to swallow back the complaints and whines that threatened to spill from your lips, unwilling to see guilt swimming in his red tinted eyes. It’s a futile attempt, given that Jungwon could pick up on the waves of pain through your newly formed blood bond, his attentive eyes catching each wince.

Sighing in exasperation, Jungwon grasps your chin, tapping your bottom lip with his thumb, ”Open up for me baby, let me take a look at your fangs.” You consider insisting you’re fine, that his examination is entirely unnecessary, but the thought is dismissed by the firm look Jungwon gives you, and you comply baring your teeth as best as you could.

You wait patiently as Jungwon inspects your teeth, tilting your chin up to grant him a better view. Instead you take the opportunity to admire your boyfriend's handsome features, the slope of his nose and the angle of his jawline. Your eyes trail down the expanse of his neck, decorated with traces of your lips and two faint puncture marks, long healed to where they looked more akin to moles than scars.

From his close proximity you can smell an enticing fragrance wafting from his body. Jungwon always smelled good, of warm amber and clean linen sheets, but there was another underlying scent that caught your attention. There's blood pumping through his veins, fresh blood, Jungwon had recently hunted and fed. The thought causes your vision to cloud, hunger prickling at the edges of your mind.

“Baby,” Jungwon calls out softly, and your eyes drag away from his neck, struggling to find his own in your dazed state. “You're literally drooling,” he chuckles, tucking your hair behind your ear and tugging on the lobe affectionately.

He had noticed your wandering attention, the way your stare locked onto his neck, a red tint slowly creeping into your eyes and your fangs fully extending against the pads of his prodding fingers. It was a good sign, your instincts were getting stronger and your senses sharper. Soon, you'd be a full fledged vampire.

A slight flush spreads across your cheeks, the best it can with the limited blood flowing through your system. “Sorry,” you apologize meekly, embarrassed at the prospect of being caught openly salivating over him.

Jungwon only coos at you teasingly, leaning down to peck your pink cheeks, and then grazing his lips against the slightly raw puncture wounds on your neck. Unlike other injuries which would quickly be remedied by their healing abilities, the initial bite, meant to turn you into a vampire, required much more patience, only closing when the transformation was complete.

The skin on your neck was still broken and bruised but as much as it pained Jungwon to know he had caused you hurt, it also gave him a twisted sense of satisfaction to see the mark he had left on you. He always loved littering your skin with love bites but seeing them fade was his least favorite part. His bite mark would forever remain, a testament to the vows you had made to each other the day he had turned you.

“Nothing to apologize for my love, I drank extra today because I knew you'd be hungry. C’mere.” He tugs you towards the couch, sitting down on the plush seat then pulling you unceremoniously onto his lap.

The minuscule distance makes your fangs push uncomfortably against your lips, unable to deny the alluring scent wafting from your boyfriend. You wait for Jungwon to bite into his wrist and present it to you, the way he had fed you each time these past few weeks.

Instead Jungwon just smirks at you, a mischievous glint in his eye as he leans back against the cushions. “Well? I thought you were hungry baby, come kiss me and bite me.” You splutter, panicking at the mere mention of having to bite him, but Jungwon merely laughs in response, rubbing soothing circles into the small of your back.

“Don’t be nervous, your fangs are more than ready to do the job and I’ll stop you if anything goes wrong. Remember darling, you bite firmly, sink your teeth in to make a clean wound instead of ripping tissue. As soon as it's secure, you release some venom to alleviate the pain, make it feel nice for everyone and only then do you start to drink. The hardest part is stopping before you do too much damage but I’ll let you know if you're getting to that point okay?”

“Wonnie, I don't want to accidentally hurt you-,” you start to protest but Jungwon cuts you off with a firm kiss to your lips.

“You’ll be fine. I promise. If you don’t trust yourself, trust in me, hm? You need to drink so you can feel better and who better to practice on than me? Come on love, I promise I don’t bite,” he murmurs cheekily against your lips, inciting a roll of your eyes, a derisive laugh escaping from your chest at the irony.

Shaking your head in mock exasperation, you concede, leaning in to plant a peck against Jungwon’s smirking mouth. You trail kisses lower until you've reached the hollow of his neck, ears pricking as soft satisfied sighs escape from his parted lips.

Angling your head, you finally sink your teeth into his skin, your hands finding his shoulders for support. Jungwon's grip on your waist tightens for a split second until you release your venom, relaxing as the pain subsides and gives way to pleasure.

A metallic flavor floods your mouth, relief washing over you as the pain and hunger ebb away. Instead you focus on the taste against your tongue and the way Jungwon strokes your hair tenderly, pressing mumbled praises and groans against the side of your head.

It's when you begin to feel nearly intoxicated at the feeling of feeding that Jungwon whispers into the hollow of your ear softly, “Alright sweetheart, it's time to stop drinking. Let the last of your venom out and then retract your fangs, help the wound close up, you're doing so good for me baby.” You follow his instructions as best you can given the foggy state of your mind, finally pulling away to look into Jungwon’s eyes.

He rests his forehead against yours, cupping your jaw fondly, “You did perfectly darling, I'm so proud of you,” Jungwon tilts his face, slotting your lips together, fingers tangling into your hair to bring you closer. You loop your arms around his broad shoulders melting into his embrace. He sighs into your mouth, humming contently at the faint taste before reluctantly pulling away.

“You were so good baby, soon you'll be able to go out and hunt for yourself no problem,” Jungwon beams at you. Still dizzy from the rush that drinking gave you, blood rushing in your ears, you settle into his arms, burying into the crook of his neck..

“I’d rather just have you hunt enough for the both of us and just let me drink from you,” you bat your eyes at Jungwon sweetly and he snorts in response.

“You must really be blood drunk if you expect me to act as your personal Uber eats for the rest of millenia,” he teases, pinching your cheek.

You huff petulantly, “Considering I’ve been your walking bloodbag for the past few years I think you owe me at least a year or two of the same.”

“Not my fault you smell so yummy,” Jungwon noses at the column of your neck, his fangs grazing the skin, “how could you expect me to want anything else?”

You try to push his face away from your neck to little avail. Jungwon held you tightly in his grasp, knowing you were just being difficult to mess with him. “Well your pickiness and lack of self control is the reason all my neighbors think I get my neck mauled by a bear every night. I refuse to start hunting, you’re just gonna make me into your personal juicebox again,” you grumble, giving in and letting Jungwon continue his ministrations. Vampire my ass, if anything he was more akin to an overgrown kitten, always nuzzling and nipping at your neck.

Jungwon leans back far enough to knock his head into yours playfully, “Yeah right, you love when I give you love bites.” You go to protest but Jungwon cocks his head challengingly, his eyes daring you to try and deny it. The words die in the base of your throat, and you swallow harshly, your face heating as you look away, muttering half hearted insults under your breath.

“Did you say something sweetheart?” Jungwon asks teasingly, and you widen your eyes in mock horror, knowing that with his heightened senses he had very clearly heard every word.

“Just saying how much I love you darling,” you blink up at him, with a saccharine smile.

Jungwon laughs, his dimple on full display, pressing a sweet kiss on your lips. “I love you more baby, even if that means I have to hunt for two for the rest of my very long life.” You give a satisfied hum and cuddle happily into his hold. Forever seemed a lot less daunting in Jungwon’s arms.

a/n: ,,,,,idk what to say about this one. I wanted to give you guys something bc MTM is taking so long and I'm about to leave for vacation,,, and this ended up being the product of my 2am thoughts.... hope u enjoy :)

perm taglist: @hoonsunivrs @pkjay @thatfeelinwhenyou @lacimolela @ttalgi @cieluna @ahnneyong @luvlee1313 @meowmeowhoon @llama-lyna @dmoki @w3bqrl @16doie @itsvynnie @saintells @given8taken @yakjw @miukityy @meowwonie @simp4jakesim @teddywons @flowertothejungwon @skywithf1 @yur1a1 @nyeonglover @fallingenluvv

#enhanet #kflixnet #k-labels #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #enhypen scenarios #jungwon oneshots #yang jungwon #yang jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #enha x reader #enha smau #enhypen smau #jungwon fluff #enhypen fluff

2K notes · View notes

stariekis · 2 months

Text

birthday boy.

pairing : non idol!jungwon + fem!reader . genre : fluff + suggestive . cw : kissing . wc : 2.9 k not proofread

— synopsis : celebrating his birthday with the people he loves the most ! with a tiny twist ...

— note : HAPPY WONI DAY!!! my brightest star ⭐🤲🏻 i love him so much pls he is everything to me ˙◠˙ hope he has an amazing day today and hope you guys like this one shot <3

He was having the most awful day ever. Even though it was his birthday he had to spend the whole day at the company alone and, on top of that, you and his members haven't talked to him for the whole day.

He wasn't really upset about his group mates but he felt pretty sad when he realized that you didn't texted him.

He didn't want nothing more than to come back home and spend some time for himself, being able to enjoy his 20 birthday and rest after such a tiring and kind of sad day was all he needed.

He finished all his duties at the company and finally it was time to go back home. Tiredness taking over his body as soon as he step on the van, almost falling asleep as soon as he sat on his seat.

Once he finally reached the entrance of his (and your) apartment he let out the biggest sigh, he needs to take a shower and lay on his bed as soon as possible.

But as he inserted his key to open the door he heard someone whispering inside os his apartment. He was confused, all the members where at their respective houses and you probably were sleeping. Or that's what he thought.

Finally opening the door completely he was shock when he made eye contact with the seven of you, his bearest best friends and his pretty girlfriend standing in front of him with balloons and a cake on your hands.

— 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BOY' shouted jake as jungwon dropped his belongings on the entrance and take off his shoes. Heeseung took the cake out of your hands as he watches Jungwon running towards you with his arms open.

You giggled as he hugged you, hiding his face on your neck leaving small soft kisses there.

— 'The surprise was also our idea you know?' said Sunghoon with a smirk on his face. All of you burst out laughing, Jungwon removed himself from your embrace pecking your lips before turning to his friends, giving them a big hug.

All of you moved to your living room to get the party started. After blowing the candles you gave him your present, he loves matching things with you so you gave him a pair of rings; one was a sun and the other one was a moon. He looked at you with the biggest smile on his face and, taking your hand, he place the sun one on your finger kissing your hand right after.

The hours kept passing and, after opening all the presents and having dinner together you guys decided to call it a night and the boys went back home.

As soon as you close the door you felt a pair of arms sneaking around you waist, hugging you from behind. — 'Thank you so much for this baby, i was having the worst day ever but its was completely worth it' Jungwon whispered in your ear.

You turned around now facing him, placing you hands around his neck you gave him a kiss. — 'Sorry for ignoring you Wonie, i was really busy preparing all of this that i didn't have time to text you' you said. He place one of his hand on your neck, pulling your face closer to his.

— 'You still have time to repay me for that ' the tone of his voice dropped a few times and now there was a smirk adorning his pretty lips.

You smiled, knowing perfectly what he meant with that. As much as you loved the boys you couldn't wait for them to be gone so you would be able to spend some time with your boyfriend. — 'Now that you mentioned it i actually have another present for you' you kissed him, this time the kiss was much intense that the other ones you shared, hearing him breathing through his nose and melting in your arms as soon as your lips touched his.

Your hands that once were around his neck were now grabbing the strings of his grey hoodie. You separate yourself from him and, pulling him by his collar, you started walking towards your shared bedroom.

Let's say he had the best birthday of his life.

516 notes · View notes

amakumos · 11 months

Text

haru yo, koi — yang jungwon.

synopsis. Life is fragile. You’ve known this ever since you got diagnosed with a rare disease that gives you only 10 years to live. You tell yourself to not fall in love, but then you meet Yang Jungwon in the middle of a park surrounded by cherry blossom trees. But just like the fleetingness of the cherry blossoms, your romance with Jungwon is short lived. You can only hope that the universe will be kind enough to offer you a second chance.

genre. angst, fluff, friends to lovers to ?, inspired by the movie the last 10 years.

pairing. non-idol! jungwon x fem! reader

warnings. reader and jungwon are 22, mentions of death, hospital, disease, illness, one scene where drinking is involved, probably some medical inaccuracies

word count. 34.9k

author’s note. hello! haru yo koi is finally here and i am so excited for u all to read it !! i hope there aren’t any glitches or anything esp since i had to use the legacy editor 😭😭 so praying there’s no issues w this 😭 this is the longest fic ive ever written and i rlly rlly hope u all enjoy it <3 pls give ur thoughts / feedback in an ask or comment ! they mean a lot to me <33 enjoyyy <3

ONE.

The clock is always ticking.

You remind yourself of this daily. Most people your age don’t exactly think about death coming to knock on their door — but you think you’re quite prepared. You have been for quite a while.

You peer outside your window for a split second, taking a break from writing. You see people on the street with bright smiles plastered across their lips. You wish you could be as carefree as they are, and not constantly worried about whether your life will slip away in just the next second.

You were diagnosed with a rare incurable disease when you were 17. You’ve got 10 years, they say. But even though they had said 10 years, you could still pass suddenly – so in some way, you might have less than 10. Slowly but surely, you’ve come to accept that this is your fate.

“It’s spring, (Name).” You suddenly hear the voice of Chaewon, your older sister. “Do you want to go see the cherry blossoms?”

You don’t turn your head to look at her. “Go with Soobin.”

“I am going with Soobin. I’m just asking if you wanted to come with us.” she asks, and you finally look at her.

“It’s okay,” you tell her. “I don’t want to ruin your date.”

“(Name), you won’t be. Come on. You can’t just… spend the rest of your days at home.” she sighs.

Your sister has 10 years to live. Everything came crashing down when Chaewon heard those 7 words. She had never imagined that she would have to lose someone so close to her so early in life, and she didn’t think that out of all people, it would be you.

Life is fragile. It is even more fragile for you. Now, you’re 5 years into your death sentence. The clock is ticking, and you’ve only got 5 years left. 5 years seems like such a long time to most people — but to you, it’s all you have left.

Is 5 years too much time, or none at all?

Chaewon looks at you, silently peering outside your window. She doesn’t know why you aren’t trying to experience life to its fullest, knowing that you only have a couple more years left.

She wants to spend time with you. She doesn’t want to see you holed up in your room, spending every day, every month, and every year doing nothing until your time is up.

Chaewon has had a whole list of things she wanted to do with you ever since she was 8. Travelling, going to concerts, skydiving — all things she thought she would be able to do with you when you both got older.

But with your diagnosis, checking off that bucket list seems like an impossible task.

“Come… please?” Chaewon asks, and you reluctantly get up from your chair. Your sister smiles, handing you your coat that you’ve got hung up on one of the hooks attached to your wall. “If you and Soobin kiss in front of me, I’m leaving.”

Chaewon follows you as you leave your room, watching as you adjust the collar of your coat. “We’re not going to… whatever.”

Soobin is already waiting in the living room, talking to your parents. “Hi, (Name).” Soobin greets you with a smile. You wave at your sister’s boyfriend before going to the kitchen to get a cup of water.

You’ve known Soobin for quite a while now. He’s been your sister’s boyfriend ever since high school, and now he’s a doctor. Apparently, your illness was what motivated him to pursue the career.

“I’m looking for a cure,” he tells you all the time.

Your previous doctors have told you that your illness was incurable. You think that Soobin searching for something that probably doesn’t exist would be a waste of time. While you’re thankful for Soobin trying his best to keep you alive, you think you’ve accepted your fate already.

You watch as Chaewon laces her hands with Soobin’s, before bidding goodbye to your parents. ‘Be careful, (Name).” your father says, and you nod. He says this every time you head outside. “Okay, dad.”

You walk alongside the happy couple, watching as a bright smile spreads across your sister’s lips as Soobin cracks a funny joke. You look at the pavement with an amused smile – what Soobin said was indeed pretty funny.

A few years ago, you had asked Chaewon a question.

What does falling in love feel like?

Because you don’t think it’s something that you’ll ever be able to experience. If you fall in love with someone, that’s another person that’s going to hurt when you pass away abruptly. You don’t want to be a burden to others more than you already have. So, you tell yourself that you shouldn’t fall in love.

Chaewon had replied to you with a fond smile on her face. She talks about Soobin as if he means the world to her. “It’s like… you feel so much joy to the point where you feel like your heart will burst at the seams. Falling in love is different for everyone, I think. Your experience is uniquely yours.”

“Oh,” you said.

“You shouldn’t be scared of falling in love, (Name).” she tells you.

Chaewon says many things that you don’t listen to. Not because you think that her ideas or her words are stupid, it’s just… you don’t think she understands. She tells you to live life to its fullest, but how are you supposed to do that when you’re constantly reminded that you could die suddenly?

You’re the one dying.

Not her.

You shove your hands in your pocket with a sigh. “We’re here,” Soobin says, and you look up. The cherry blossom trees are beautiful. The vibrant pink flowers are beautiful, and you watch as some of the petals cascade down to the pavement. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” Chaewon asks you, and you nod.

“Let me get a picture of you both,” Soobin says, and Chaewon links her arm with yours. You both look at the camera, with Chaewon doing a peace sign while you simply smile. “Nice,” Soobin says, after snapping the picture.

“Do you want one with Soobin?” you ask Chaewon, and she nods. Soobin hands you the camera with a grateful smile. Chaewon rests her head on Soobin’s shoulder, her hands laced with his. “One, two, three.” you say as you take the picture.

Your sister looks at Soobin with so much love and adoration. It makes you happy that your sister’s found the right person for her.

“I’m going to look around the park,” you tell Chaewon. She nods, telling you to be careful before you walk off.

You take a deep breath as you walk around, seeing happy couples, old and young, roaming around the park together. You feel the slightest bit of envy when you remember that you’ll never really get to experience what it’s like to love.

You look up at one of the many cherry blossom trees in the park.

In some way, you’d compare yourself to one of these majestic trees.

Cherry blossoms are known for their existence to be short-lived. They symbolise transience, ephemerality. They fall to the pavement as quickly as they bloom.

Just like the cherry blossoms, your existence will be short-lived. You’re running on borrowed time, and you don’t know when that time will run out.

Every breath you take could be your last.

There is a peaceful quietness as you wander around the park, admiring the vibrant pink hues of the flowers in full bloom. The faint smell of the flowers waft through the air, and you watch as some of the petals fall to the pavement.

The quietness is interrupted by a dog bark. A white dog runs up to you, and you look at it, startled and confused. Suddenly, a boy who looks around your age runs up to you.

“I am so sorry about Maeumi,” he says, attaching the leash back onto his dog. “He’s a little energetic sometimes.”

You look at the boy, and something about him feels familiar. Those eyes – you’d recognise them anywhere.

It’s Yang Jungwon, an old classmate of yours. He was the head of the student council during your time at the school, and you remember him even though you weren’t exactly there much due to your illness. But Jungwon was always a kind person, helping out anyone in need. He was friendly, and popular. You knew that many people had a crush on him, including your friend Minji.

“Wait a minute,” Jungwon’s eyes narrow suddenly. Something seems to click, and he gasps. “You’re (Name), right? We were in the same class in high school.”

You’re surprised that even with all his busy duties in high school and with you constantly being away at the hospital, Yang Jungwon still remembers you.

“Yeah, I am,” you say, a small smile on your lips. “I’m surprised you remember who I am.”

“Of course I’d remember you!” Jungwon’s eyes seem to twinkle as he says the words. “We worked together on a project for biology once. Do you remember me?”

You chuckle. “Of course. Yang Jungwon. Head of the student council.”

Jungwon smiles. “Yeah. That’s me.”

There’s a brief moment of silence where you and Jungwon just look at each other, small smiles on both of your faces. Maeumi sits patiently as a few of the cherry blossom petals land on his fur.

“So… what have you been up to?” Jungwon asks you, looking genuinely interested. How are you supposed to respond to that? Because really, you’re not going to just tell him that what you’ve been up to is… hospital.

“Um… work. Got a job,” you lie, nodding. “What about you?”

“I’m a lawyer now,” Jungwon replies, and you smile. “Law. It suits you.”

“Huh. Everyone tells me that,” Jungwon runs his fingers through his hair to make it a little neater. “So… what do you do at work?”

“Writing. I… write.” Well, that wasn’t a complete lie. You do write, just… not for work. You’ve only been working on one thing ever since you got your diagnosis — it’s something akin to a diary, recounting your journey through the last 10 years of your life.

Maybe you’ll get to see it published before you’re gone.

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Jungwon beams. “I know your writing’s great. You wrote for the school newspaper, right?”

It seems like Yang Jungwon remembers a lot about you. You wrote occasionally for the school newspaper when you were well enough to actually write. You’re surprised he remembers that, and you’re quite surprised that he actually read the school newspaper — you thought that with his busy schedule, he wouldn’t have had the time to.

“I did. You have a good memory.”

“Thank you.” Jungwon cracks a smile. The boy looks at the cherry blossom trees, before returning his focus onto you. “They’re pretty, aren’t they?” he asks, and you nod.

“I like the colours.” you say, quietly.

“Me too.”

“(Name), Soobin just got an emergency at the hospital, so he’s had to leave– oh!” Chaewon suddenly appears out of nowhere, startling both you and Jungwon. “Sorry, I didn’t know that you were talking to someone.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” you tell your sister, who looks at you, then looks at Jungwon, then looks at you again. “Was I interrupting something?” she asks, with a small smile on her lips.

“We were just looking at the cherry blossoms.” Jungwon pipes up. “I’m Jungwon. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Chaewon,” your sister says. “Do you know my sister?”

“We went to high school together,” you tell her. “Jungwon was the head of the student council. I’m actually quite surprised he still remembers me, considering how… you know.”

“Yes. I know.”

Jungwon doesn’t know exactly what you and Chaewon are talking about, but it seems personal — and he wouldn’t want to pry. And, you keep mentioning how you’re extremely shocked at the fact that Jungwon seems to remember you.

But, why wouldn’t Jungwon remember his first crush?

Something about you intrigued Jungwon the moment you stepped into the classroom for the first time. It was seventh grade, and you had walked into the room with a small smile on your lips. Jungwon remembers you catching his attention instantly.

You two were partnered together for a project, and you both had quite a few pleasant conversations while working on the assignment. Jungwon remembers walking home with a giddy smile on his lips after he had gone to your house.

But gradually, you started to disappear.

Throughout high school, Jungwon tried to talk to you as much as he could. Problem was, you were almost never at school, and when you were at school, Jungwon always seemed to be busy.

So Jungwon was never able to get closer to you. He couldn’t get to know you better, or find out why he found himself gravitating towards you.

You didn’t even show up for graduation.

The last time Jungwon remembers seeing you was in class one day. You were wrapped in a puffer jacket, a hand warmer in your hands. You looked pale. Jungwon assumed that you might’ve gotten a cold.

He didn’t know that you were sick. He still doesn’t know that you’re sick. Nobody from high school knows, with the exception of Minji and Wonyoung.

He just assumed you were always busy with out of school activities. But he never forgot about you.

“Oh, that reminds me. Ricky’s hosting a reunion party next week for our grade? We’d love for you to come.” Jungwon says, and Chaewon nudges you gently. “You should go,” your sister whispers to you.

“Oh, I… I don’t know. I don’t think people there will really remember me.” you murmur, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No, they will! Just come along. Here, I’ll give you my number, since Ricky’s still making decisions on which restaurant he’s booking. I’ll text you the details.”

You type in Jungwon’s number into your phone slowly, saving his contact. “It was really nice seeing you again. What a coincidence, right?” he beams.

“It was nice seeing you again too, Jungwon. I’ll… let you know if I go.”

“I’ve got to run along now, a friend of mine’s waiting for me.” Jungwon says, a small pout on his lips. “But yeah, text me! I’ll talk to you soon.”

“See you around, Jungwon.” you say softly, and the boy gives you one last big smile before turning around to leave. Chaewon looks at you with a wide grin on her lips. “Come on, you should go!”

“I don’t know,” you say hesitantly. You’re not even sure if people remember you. Or know you at all. You attended school less than 20 times in your last year — to be completely honest, even you found it strange that you graduated. “What if people are like ‘who are you?’ It would make things really awkward.”

“So? Jungwon knows you. Invite Minji and Wonyoung. There, you know four people. Come on, (Name). You should live your life to the fullest.”

As you’re nearing the end of the 10 years that the doctor has given you, you decide that perhaps Chaewon is right. You’ve spent years wallowing in self-pity, spending all your days at home when you could’ve been spending time doing things that you’ve always wanted to do. See people you never thought you’d see again. Go to places that you’ve always wanted to go to.

You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go.”

And as a pink cherry blossom petal brushes against your cheek, you return home with Chaewon by your side, and the thought of Yang Jungwon in the back of your mind.

TWO.

“You saw Yang Jungwon again?” Minji nearly shrieks, as you take a sip of tea from your cup.

Almost immediately after you had returned home, you had messaged Minji and Wonyoung about the gathering that Ricky was holding. Apparently, Wonyoung had gotten a message from someone about it but mistook it for a spam message.

“Yeah. Soobin and Chaewon wanted to go see the cherry blossoms, so they dragged me with them. Jungwon’s dog bumped into me at the park and… we talked for a bit.” you explain, as Wonyoung and Minji listen intently.

“And he invited you to the gathering?”

“I mean… he said it was for our grade. He gave me his number, so he’ll be texting me about the details of the gathering in a bit.” you say, and Minji nearly chokes on her drink.

“He gave you his number?”

“Yeah. Why are you gawking at me like that, Minji? Are you still in love with Jungwon? Because, not to remind you, but you’re in a very committed relationship. I swear Hajoon is going to propose any minute now.” you say, and Minji shakes her head. “No, no — it’s just… I don’t remember Jungwon being this forward.”

“Maybe he’s just being nice.” you say.

“Jungwon’s always nice.” Wonyoung chimes in. “He was good friends with everyone. But I will say, no offence, I am quite surprised he remembers you, (Name).”

Honestly, you’re the most surprised out of everyone. “Yes. It was a little shocking.”

“So, what does he look like now?” Minji asks, looking at you curiously. “Just about the same as before. Or at least, the last time I saw him. Just slightly older.”

“It’s been around 4 years since we graduated, (Name),” Wonyoung says. “Of course he’ll look a little older.”

Minji told you once that Jungwon has something she calls a “first love smile”. You never quite understood what she meant when she told you, possibly because you were focusing on not dying, but now you sort of understand why she described his smile that way.

Jungwon’s smile just makes you feel… safe. You hadn’t seen him in a very long time, yet he still managed to make himself seem familiar to you. During your time at school, you didn’t talk with him much, you didn’t see him much — but you felt comfortable talking to him in the middle of the park, cherry blossom trees surrounding you two. It was like you two had been close for a long time.

“So… you’re going to go to the gathering, right? After Jungwon invited you?” Wonyoung asks, and you nod. “I might as well. You know… I figure that I should probably see everyone again before time runs out.”

Your friends suddenly go silent.

The topic of your impending death has always been one that Minji and Wonyoung have tried to avoid. Mostly because they believe that someday, some doctor will find a magical cure. One that’ll make you feel better, and you can live a long happy life like you had intended to before your diagnosis.

But with only 5 years left, you know they’re starting to lose hope. You lost that hope a long time ago.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to dampen the mood,” you give your friends a small smile, and Wonyoung shakes her head. “No, no. It’s okay, (Name).” she returns the gesture, but you can see that emotion in her eyes — sadness.

You’ve known Wonyoung and Minji ever since you two were little. You all had plans to stay friends forever, to see each other get their first job, to see each other get married, and to see each other grow old together, preferably in a small town with lots of cafes and beautiful scenery.

Those plans are now gone. It was always (Name), Minji and Wonyoung. Once you leave, it’ll just be Minji and Wonyoung. No longer the “golden trio”, as you three had called yourselves.

“Maybe Soobin will figure something out.” Minji hums. She really hopes that he does. She’s known that you've been living on borrowed time for 5 years now, but it never gets easier when she remembers that soon, she’ll have to live a life without you being there. She doesn’t want that.

Neither does Wonyoung. Thinking about the fact that gatherings after your passing will just be her and Minji, and they’ll always be reminded of the fact that you’re supposed to be there, talking, laughing and smiling with the two of them.

Thinking about life without you is already difficult enough. When you leave, Minji and Wonyoung know that things will be much harder than they are now.

“I mean… he tells me that all the time. Chaewon’s holding out some hope, but I don't know. I’m prepared. I’ve been prepared since I was told the news.” you reply, and Minji looks at you sadly.

“Out of all people… it shouldn’t have been you.” Wonyoung reaches her hand out to squeeze yours, and you give her a soft smile.

“I know,” you hum.

The atmosphere is now sad, and dull. Minji and Wonyoung both have frowns on their faces, and you feel like you should lighten the mood. You give them both a bright smile. “Okay, enough sadness. Come on, let’s go out.”

You three get up from your chairs, but not before fighting over who pays the bill. In the end, Wonyoung wins — you tell her that you’ll be paying next time.

Then, you suddenly get a text message. It’s from Jungwon, who tells you that the reunion will be at a restaurant that Jo owns. You reply with a thank you, and you tell him that Minji and Wonyoung will be coming as well.

He replies with a ‘i'm excited to see you soon!’ and a smiley face. You smile when you read the message, putting your phone back in your pocket after you like his text.

“Jungwon says the reunion is at Jo’s restaurant. He sent me the location,” you tell Minji and Wonyoung. “Jo runs a restaurant? Didn't expect that from him, if I’m being honest.” Wonyoung chuckles. You always thought Jo would end up being a professional basketball player, since he talked about it constantly.

“Yeah,” you agree. “Now come on, let’s go.”

As you step out of the cafe, the faint smell of cherry blossoms waft through the air.

THREE.

“Well, you look pretty.” Chaewon says to you, a bright smile on her face. “Reunion’s tonight, isn’t it?”

You nod, smoothing out the wrinkles on your skirt. “Yeah. Minji’s picking me and Wonyoung up. Or really, Hajoon, since he’s driving. Is Soobin coming over tonight?”

Chaewon shakes her head, pouring herself a cup of tea. “Just me tonight,” she says, taking a sip of the drink. “Soobin’s got some patients to look after, and he says he won’t be done until 3am, or something. I’m going to make dinner for Mom and Dad, and I'll probably watch some dramas in bed.”

“Sounds like fun.” you say, grabbing your purse off one of the hooks on the wall.

“Let me know how tonight goes, hmm?” Chaewon says, giving you a side hug. “Be careful, by the way. You took your medicine, right?”

You sigh. “You know I would never forget about that.”

“Just looking out for you,” Chaewon shrugs. “Have a fun night.”

You wave goodbye at your sister before you leave the house, closing the door behind you. You walk down the stairs, and you’re greeted by Minji, Wonyoung and Hajoon. “Come on! We’re going to be late!”

You hurry into the car, slamming the car door shut after you slide into the seat next to Wonyoung. “You look so pretty, (Name)! I love your outfit.”

“Thanks, Wonyo. You look very pretty too.” you say, and Wonyoung smiles. Wonyoung always looks gorgeous. She was just as popular as Jungwon — everyone had a crush on her as well.

“Hajoon, are you joining us?” you ask Minji’s boyfriend, and he nods. “She insisted that I come, in fact.” he chuckles.

“You guys are adorable,” Wonyoung says. “Put bleach in my eyes.” she whispers to you, and you stifle a giggle.

The ride to Jo’s restaurant is surprisingly quick from your place. You get out of the car, brushing your hair out of your face. You haven’t seen these people in years, and you’re pretty nervous — you know that there’s a high possibility that you’ll get bombarded with questions about why you were never at school.

You just have to come up with a lie. Or Minji and Wonyoung can come up with one for you.

“Come on, let’s go!” Minji seems awfully excited, as she practically skips into the restaurant. You, Wonyoung and Hajoon look at her, amused, before following her.

The first thing that catches your attention about Jo’s restaurant is that the food already smells great. “Are you four here for the reunion?” a waiter asks you all, and Minji nods.

“Right this way, please.” He leads you four to a room, and opens the door. “Oh my god, Minji, Wonyoung and (Name)!” Haruna says, when she sees you three walk in. “Hi, long time no see!” Minji says, giving the girl a hug.

Somehow, your eyes immediately meet Jungwon’s. He gives you a warm smile, pointing to the free seat next to him. You take that as an invitation to sit there. “Hi,” he says. “You look nice.”

Your cheeks feel a little bit hot. “Thank you. You look very nice too,” you say. Jungwon’s wearing a black t-shirt and pants, and there’s a blue jacket draped over the back post of his chair.

You then notice the earrings dangling from Jungwon’s ears. “Oh, you got piercings.” you say, and Jungwon nods. “Yeah. Had them when we met in the park a few days ago.”

“I didn’t notice,” you reply, chuckling. “They suit you.”

“Alright, (Name), stop flirting with Jungwon! The food’s here.” Hanni says, and you furrow your eyebrows. “What? I wasn’t— never mind.”

You don’t notice how Jungwon’s cheeks have flushed bright red. But, Ricky does.

“You’re still into her, aren’t you?” he whispers into Jungwon’s ear. Jungwon turns to look at Ricky, pursing his lips. “What? I… I don’t know. We haven’t met in so long, and I really don’t know much about her.” Jungwon replies, volume of his voice matching Ricky’s.

“Then get to know her better. Didn’t you say you got her number? Text her after this gathering and then ask if she wants to hang out. It’s as simple as that.”

Jungwon sighs, eyes trained on you, who’s talking and laughing with Hanni. “She’s probably going to be at work. We all have lives now, and… I don’t know. I don’t want to be a bother.” Ricky notices the way Jungwon gazes at you like you’re his entire world, and a small smirk graces his lips.

“I don’t think you will. (Name)’s nice. It can’t hurt to ask her to… I don’t know, have coffee, or grab lunch together.” Ricky suggests, shrugging. Jungwon has been pining for you forever. It’s about time he did something about his feelings.

Ricky does have a few points, Jungwon thinks. He missed all of his chances in high school to get to know you better, but doing something late is better than not doing it at all, right?

Jungwon takes a shot of the soju that Ricky had poured him. “(Name), are you going to be drinking?” Hanni asks you, and you shake your head, a polite smile on your lips. “I’m good. I don’t drink. Thank you for the offer, though.”

You turn to Jungwon when he’s drunk 3 shots. “How’s Maeumi?” you ask him, and Jungwon smiles at you, his face flushed slightly pink due to the alcohol.

“Good,” he says, beaming. “Maeumi’s… he’s a cute dog.”

You chuckle. “He is. So… did you take any nice pictures of the cherry blossoms when I saw you a few days ago?”

“Yeah,” Jungwon replies, the smile never leaving his lips. He looks at you with bright, gleaming eyes. His eyes are very pretty. “Took lots of them.”

“That’s nice,” you say.

“We should go again sometime,” he says, his cheeks somehow redder than before. You don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol, or because he’s nervous about asking you to spend some time with him.

The truth is, it’s both.

“Yeah, of course,” you breathe out. “Sounds like fun. I’m… not too busy — I mean, I’m never busy, so just text me.” Jungwon smiles at your words, and you don’t notice how Ricky’s watching you two interact with the biggest grin on his lips.

He’s watched Jungwon pine over you for the last few years of school. He knows about Jungwon’s lack of courage to just go up to you and talk to you, to get to know you better outside of school projects. He knows about Jungwon’s regret over not being able to muster up that courage, and then watching as he realises that you’ve slowly disappeared.

And now, watching as he finally gets that courage. Or at least, a little bit of it. It might be the soju giving him an extra boost of confidence, but Ricky’s not complaining. Neither are you, and neither is Jungwon.

The rest of the time at the reunion is spent talking about what’s going on with everyone else’s lives. Jo’s a chef, since he runs the restaurant that you all were dining in. Jungwon’s a lawyer, as he’s told you that when you two met in the park. Ricky’s working as a model, like Wonyoung. Admittedly, you’re quite surprised their paths haven’t crossed before this reunion.

Hanni’s a dancer, like you always knew she’d be. Minji and Hajoon are told to get married by practically everyone, leaving both of them a blushing mess.

Then, Ricky takes out a box that’s all too familiar. “Remember this, guys?” It’s the time capsule that you all buried when you were 12, where all of you put in a message for you in the future. “I thought we’d open these now, because… well, it's been 10 years. So let’s do it together!”

Ricky hands everyone their letters, and when he gives you yours, you take it hesitantly. It’s a blue envelope, the front decorated with stickers. Dear Future (Name), it’s addressed to.

With shaky hands, you carefully remove the seal from the back of the envelope, taking out your letter.

Hello, future (Name)! It’s me, you from 10 years ago. How are you doing? Since it’s been 10 years, I think I’ll have a lot of questions! Are you still writing? Have you become an author like we always wanted to be? Are you still friends with Minji and Wonyoung? How’s Chaewon? Have you ticked off some of the boxes on the shared bucket list? Are you in love? I’m going to decorate this envelope well, so you should keep it in a safe space. I don’t know what you are doing now, or maybe I should say we, since we are the same person. But don’t stress yourself out. Treasure every day! Life is beautiful. May you live a long, happy life.

Little you will most likely not be very happy with the outcome of your life. You’re 22, single, and dying.

You haven’t ticked off anything on yours and Chaewon’s bucket list. You haven’t become an author, like you wanted to. You haven’t treasured every day like you told yourself to. You haven’t appreciated the beauty of life enough.

And you won’t be able to live a long, happy life.

Reading your letter now makes you regret the way you’ve spent the last 5 years. You’ve got 5 years left on that clock, and the time won’t slow down anytime soon. Maybe it’s time to listen to yourself, to treasure every day like you had said to.

You don’t realise that you’re tearing up a little until Jungwon nudges you softly. “Are you okay?” his words are slightly slurred, meaning he’s probably drunk a little bit more. You’re a little surprised that despite how he seems to be slightly drunk, he’s still noticed the change in your demeanour.

“Yes, I’m fine, Jungwon. Thank you for asking,” you say, giving him a small smile. He nods, giving you a bright grin that seems to turn your mood around, slightly. “Don’t be sad. Whatever you’re going through… things will work out. Everything will be just fine.”

Yes, you tell yourself. Everything will be just fine.

FOUR.

Jungwon calls you pretty that night.

It’s sudden, and it probably doesn’t mean anything. He’s a little drunk, and even though Minji constantly tells you that drunk words are sober thoughts, you choose to forget about it.

Yang Jungwon doesn’t know you well. Why would he have any feelings for you? But lately, small things that you would’ve considered to be somewhat insignificant have been reminding you of the boy. Cherry blossoms, small white dogs, grey hoodies, and black beanies.

But you will admit, hearing those words from him did make you feel something you’ve never felt before. A mix of nervousness and joy, is how you’d describe it. Your cheeks felt hot, and you suddenly felt shy.

“What are you thinking about?” Chaewon asks you, as you stare at the scenery outside your window. “The cherry blossom season is almost over,” you tell her, and she nods. “Yes. Aren’t you glad we saw them a little earlier?”

You smile. “I am glad.”

Chaewon’s noticed a small change in your attitude. You’re no longer always holed up in your room, constantly wanting to go outside — maybe you’ve finally started taking her advice, to live life to the fullest. It makes her happy. She wants you to make millions of memories that will bring you nothing but joy before you go. If you do have to pass early, she wants you to feel like you’ve done everything you’ve wanted to do.

You suddenly hear a buzz from your phone, and you check the text message. It’s from Jungwon, and you don’t notice Chaewon peering over your shoulder when you read the text. Wanna see the cherry blossoms together? I’m at the same park, the text reads, and before you can type out a response, Chaewon tells you that you should go.

“That was what I was going to say.” you tell her, and she looks at you, a mix of joy and surprise on her face. She used to have to convince you to go hang out with people who weren’t Minji and Wonyoung, and now you’re doing it because you want to.

This Jungwon boy must be someone that you would consider special.

Chaewon leaves your room to tell your parents that you’re going out. You get up from your chair, heading towards your closet. You pick out a simple cardigan and jeans, changing into the outfit quickly.

“You changed fast.” Chaewon says, and you nod, grabbing your bag. “Jungwon’s at the park already, and I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Do you like Jungwon?” she asks you, and you give your sister a look. “Of course I like Jungwon. He’s a nice guy.” you reply, and Chaewon sighs in exasperation. “I didn’t mean it like that, (Name). I meant like… do you have a crush on him?”

You pause. You’re not sure. He’s nice, and he’s good looking. But you don’t quite know him well enough to make a decision about it, plus, your thoughts on love haven’t really changed much. Hypothetically, if you and Jungwon were to get into a relationship, you’d die in less than 5 years.

You couldn’t hurt someone as kind and genuine as him.

“I… I don’t know. He’s a sweet guy, that’s all I can say.”

“That’s exactly what I said about Soobin.” she says, and you shrug. “Okay. See you in a bit.” you reply — you don’t know how else to continue this conversation. Knowing your own sister, Chaewon could very well press you for answers about how you feel towards Jungwon, but the truth is that you don’t know. So, you remove yourself from the situation.

You head towards the park, looking through the contents in your bag. There’s a video camera that you haven’t used in quite some time, and you pull it out to inspect it. You turn it on, and surprisingly, it still works.

There’s a couple pictures of you, Minji and Wonyoung in the gallery, and some of you and Chaewon as little kids. You decide to take a picture of the cherry blossom trees with the camera, pausing for just a split second to take a photo of the beautiful trees and their flowers.

“Hey,” Jungwon says, startling you. “Hi! Sorry. Was just taking a picture of the cherry blossoms.” you say, gesturing towards your camera.

“Don't apologise! I’m sorry for surprising you,” he says, and you shake your head. “It’s all good. Looks like Maeumi isn’t here today,” you reply, noting the absence of his dog.

“Yeah. My sister took him out on a walk this morning already.” Jungwon chuckles, and you two enter the park, walking beside each other. “That’s nice. Guess it’s just you and me, then.” you reply, smiling at him.

Jungwon’s heart races at your words. “Yeah. You and me.”

“The cherry blossom season is almost over,” you hum, holding your camera up to record a video of the scenery. “It’s a shame that they’re so short lived.”

“I wish we could see them year-round. They’re too beautiful.” Jungwon comments, and you nod. You pan the camera towards him, and he flashes a bright smile and holds up a peace sign, making you laugh. Jungwon stops to pick up a perfectly intact cherry blossom flower that’s fallen on the floor. “Here,” he says, holding it out to you.

“You take it,” you say, the camera still fixed on him.

Jungwon opts to brush a strand of your hair aside, tucking the small flower behind your ear. The flower is small, fragile, barely visible if you’re standing too far. Jungwon’s worried that the petals will fall off. But you look beautiful.

You look at him, your cheeks burning hot and a smile that’s unconsciously made its way to your lips. “Flower.” he hums.

“Yes. Flower,” you reply. “Thank you, by the way.”

“No worries. You… you look nice.”

“Thank you.”

Jungwon looks around, noticing a bunch of couples in the park. He can’t help but wonder if those couples think that you two are together as well.

“I like cherry blossoms.” you suddenly pipe up, and Jungwon redirects his attention to you. “Why?” he asks you, intrigued as to why you suddenly blurted out this statement.

“They’re beautiful, but they don’t last for a very long time. They’re very interesting to me.” you say, admiring the pink blossoms. “They feel familiar.”

“Yes. But I suppose the short-liveness of them allows us to appreciate and admire them more, doesn’t it? Since we know it doesn’t last for a very long time, we hold them dearer, and cherish them more.” Jungwon replies, looking at you with a smile.

He’s right. The reason why cherry blossoms feel familiar to you, is because you find yourself halfway through the process of the blooming and the wilting of these flowers. With only 5 years left, you’re wilting, while someone like Jungwon has just started to bloom.

“Yes. And they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” you hum, looking at the pink blossoms above.

“They are.” he says, his eyes fixed on you. Only you.

Jungwon doesn’t know that during your whole monologue about the cherry blossoms, you’re implying that like these magnificent flowers, your existence is short lived too.

FIVE.

Soobin proposes to Chaewon a week after you and Jungwon go to the park.

You watch as he gets down on one knee, Chaewon’s hand clasping over her mouth in shock. You stand there on the side with your parents, camera in hand, smiling at the sight.

“I wanna spend forever with you, Chae.” he tells her.

Forever. Forever’s a funny word.

The literal definition of forever is for all time. If forever is for all time, your forever ends in five years. Chaewon and Soobin still have many years to go in their forever.

You realise that you’ve been pitying yourself again. You should be happy. 5 years for a forever isn’t that bad, you tell yourself. So, you push that thought into the back of your mind, focusing on the scene that plays out in front of you.

“So… what do you say? Will you marry me, Kim Chaewon?”

“I will. I will marry you, Choi Soobin.” your sister says, her eyes glimmering with tears. Your family erupts into cheers, your father hugging your mother tightly before he wraps you in a huge hug too.

Your sister is getting married.

Chaewon runs up to you, and you give her a hug. “You’re engaged,” you tell her, and she smiles. “I’m engaged!” she says, showing you and the camera you’re holding the ring. It’s gorgeous — Soobin had shown you it a couple days ago when he asked to grab coffee with you.

You thought he was going to give you some horrible news about your condition, but instead he told you that he was planning on asking Chaewon to marry him. You let out a huge sigh of relief at that.

At the time, he had no idea where he would propose. You suggested the place where he had first met Chaewon, but he’d only replied with: “I’m not proposing to your sister in a hospital.”

Which was probably a smart thing to say.

“Did you know about this?” she asks you, and you shrug. “A little. I mean, your fiancée over there only told me a few days ago.” you reply, nodding at Soobin.

“But, I will say, I’m not surprised. It was going to happen, sooner or later. You two are perfect for each other,” you say, giving Chaewon another hug.

I’m glad I can see you get married before I go, you want to tell her. But she’s in such a good mood, you wouldn’t want to ruin it. She skips back towards Soobin, who’s hugging his own parents. There’s a giant grin plastered on her lips as she takes his hand in hers. “Congratulations,” your father says, as the happy couple approaches your family, alongside with Soobin’s parents.

“You should’ve done it earlier, Soobin!” your mother says, and a pink blush dusts Soobin’s cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time,” he says. “I’m happy she said yes.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Chaewon says, kissing him on the cheek, making the light pink blush on Soobin’s cheeks turn into a bright red. You’ll let the public display of affection between the two of them slide this time, because they just got engaged. Usually, you’d frown at them and feign disgust.

Chaewon and Soobin are the type of couple that you can just look at and know that they’re made for one another. You’re not going to lie, it does make you somewhat jealous that they’ve been able to find each other this early in life.

Soobin and Chaewon had met when she had accompanied you for a checkup when you were 15. Soobin was there to give moral support to Taehyun, his friend who needed stitches.

From there on, a relationship blossomed. It’s a bit of a unique love story. With Chaewon always being by your side during your doctor appointments, and Soobin being a doctor as well, the hospital is somehow always involved.

You’re also jealous that they can spend the entire rest of their lives together. And, the entire rest of their lives aren’t limited to only 5 years, unlike you. But you’re happy for your sister. You’re glad she’s found someone who makes her happier than ever — you just can’t help but feel upset that you won’t be able to experience that picture perfect fairytale romance that you had wanted.

And as Chaewon makes a toast, you get a text message. You watch as everyone takes a sip of champagne from their glass. Thankfully, most people’s eyes are on the recently engaged couple, so no one pays any mind to you drinking water instead.

You unlock your phone, checking who the message is from. It’s Jungwon, and he’s sent you a picture of cherry blossoms.

Saw this today on my way to work. Thought it was pretty, and it reminded me of you, he writes.

You don’t realise that you’re smiling to yourself as you read the message. The fact that Jungwon thought of you when he saw those cherry blossoms makes your heart feel all warm and fuzzy. It’s a feeling you’ve never felt before.

Yang Jungwon isn’t making it easy for you to not feel at least a little something for him. You’ve told yourself to not fall in love with anyone ever since you got the diagnosis — it’s to keep yourself from hurting and to keep you from hurting someone else.

But with Jungwon, you just want to fall.

The consequences, the possible heartbreak is something that you’re not even taking into consideration. Maybe you should just let yourself experience what it’s like to love, and what it’s like to be loved.

You finally understand what Minji meant back in high school when she said Jungwon had one of those “first love smiles”. And you understand why Minji was so infatuated with him back then. You weren’t around much, so you never really got to know him better.

But now that you are getting to know him well, maybe Yang Jungwon will be your first love.

And knowing your fate, he will very likely also be your last love.

If Yang Jungwon was going to be your first, your last, and your one and only, you wouldn’t quite mind.

You type back. So you think I’m pretty?

Jungwon replies almost instantly.

Of course I do.

SIX.

“Hajoon and Minji, Soobin and Chaewon… ugh, I want someone in my life. But I can’t find anyone.” Wonyoung sighs, flopping down on your couch.

You smile. “You’re drop-dead gorgeous, Wonyoung. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”

“Introduce me to someone!” she asks, her eyes gleaming. You look at her, with a confused expression on your face. “Wonyo, you know I don’t know many people.”

“I don’t know, maybe someone from high school, or something.”

“Ricky?” you ask. You knew Wonyoung used to like Ricky during high school, and just like Wonyoung, Ricky’s working as a model too. You can’t believe that you didn’t think of this pairing sooner.

“Ricky?” Wonyoung asks softly. She must be remembering the times during high school where she was pining over him. “If he’s interested… I suppose he could give me a call.”

You watch her expression closely, noticing the way her cheeks flush pink. “You suppose? You clearly want me to tell Ricky to send you a message. Why didn’t you just say that instead of telling me to introduce you to someone?”

Wonyoung shrugs, looking away from you. “I don’t know. Guess I was just a little bit… shy?”

You laugh at her words, picking up your phone to message Ricky. You then realise you didn’t get Ricky’s number the night of the reunion, and since you know Ricky and Jungwon are friends, you decide to text him instead.

Hey, could I get Ricky’s number? you message Jungwon. I think Wonyoung’s interested in him.

Jungwon always replies to your messages instantly. Of course, here. He sends you Ricky’s number, and you thank him. We could set them up, if you’re up for it. Us four, dinner at my place.

Wonyoung peers over your shoulder to read what Jungwon’s saying to you. “I think he likes you, (Name).”

“What makes you say that?”

You know it’s a stupid thing to say after he did call you pretty. Twice.

“He’s basically asking for it to be a double date. Come on now, (Name)! Don’t be silly. But, let him know I’m up for it.” Wonyoung teases you, and you sigh.

Sounds good, you tell him. When and where?

Do you guys mind if it’s tonight, 7pm? Ricky will be in Paris for the next 2 weeks, he replies, and Wonyoung’s eyes widen. “Tonight? Tonight tonight? I have to go home and get ready. I’ll see you in a bit!” she says, grabbing her bags before rushing out of the door. You take that as Wonyoung not minding, and it’s not like you have anything to do anyways.

We don’t mind, you reply. See you tonight.

You find yourself excited to see Jungwon again. You haven’t seen him since the cherry blossom season ended. But to be fair, which was a week and a half ago, so it hasn’t really been too long.

Him calling you pretty has been stuck in your head for the past week. You don’t know how 2 simple words could have such an effect on you, but here you are, with those two words said in his voice replaying again and again and again.

You decide to wear something a little simpler tonight, just a green cardigan and a pair of jeans. Chaewon walks into your room just as you’re curling your lashes, and she gives you a knowing smile. “Who are you seeing tonight?” she asks, even though she has a hunch.

“Wonyo and I are meeting Ricky and Jungwon for dinner.” you reply, applying some tinted lip balm onto your lips. “Wonyoung thinks Ricky is cute. I guess her feelings never really went away from high school.”

“I guess they didn’t,” Chaewon says, hand on her hip. The engagement ring on her finger sparkles when the light catches it, and you really need to commend Soobin on doing such a good job on finding a gorgeous ring. “But you and Jungwon, huh? I know I keep pressing you about this… but. You know… you two have seemed to bond very quickly.”

She’s not wrong.

You do admit that you find yourself wanting to see Jungwon again. You wouldn’t call it love yet, or anything of the sort – but perhaps there is some sort of attraction, or something that makes you gravitate towards him.

But then you remind yourself that in your life, you have no time for love. 5 years is far too little, and 5 years is all you’ve got. Jungwon deserves someone who can give him a forever and more. 5 years is your forever.

For Jungwon, 5 years probably doesn’t mean much at all.

Chaewon sees the hesitant look on your face. “Don’t be afraid to fall in love, (Name).”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

She looks at you with a sad smile. “(Name), I want to see you happy. Jungwon can give you that. It doesn’t matter how long or short your life is, just please… don’t forbid yourself from finding happiness. You deserve it more than anyone.” Chaewon wraps you in a hug. “I don’t want to let you go. None of us do.”

“I don’t want to hurt another person.”

“It will hurt at first,” Chaewon tells you, her arms still wrapped around you tightly. “But then all of us will think: gosh, wasn’t I so lucky to know (Name) in this lifetime?”

You feel tears starting to well up in your eyes. “I’m sorry, Chaewon.”

“Don’t be sorry. You didn't choose this path for yourself. All I know is that… I’m the luckiest person alive to have had you as a sister.” she tells you, hugging you tighter.

“Now, enough sad stuff,” she says, wiping your tears with the pads of her thumbs. “Go to this dinner tonight, and if anything happens between you and Jungwon, let me know.”

You smile at your sister, giving her another hug. “Okay.”

And before you walk out of the door, you turn back to look at her. “I know you said no sad stuff, and this isn’t really sad, but… I feel like I’m the luckiest person alive to have you as a sister.”

Chaewon only smiles softly as she watches you leave.

SEVEN.

Jungwon’s house is cozy.

Maeumi greets you and Wonyoung at the door, and Jungwon gives you a kind smile when he sees you. He’s wearing a grey hoodie and some black sweatpants, and even though the outfit is simple, it looks nice on him.

Wonyoung notices the soft smile on Jungwon’s lips as he watches you play with Maeumi. Wonyoung sneaks up behind him, whispering into his ear. “You really like her, huh?”

Jungwon gets startled by Wonyoung’s sudden comment. “Gosh, don’t sneak up on me like that!” he says, clutching his chest dramatically. The girl next to him giggles, and you look up at the two.

“Did I miss something?” you ask, and Jungwon rapidly shakes his head no. Wonyoung, on the other hand, points at Jungwon discreetly, then makes a heart with her hands, then points at you.

What she’s gesturing to you is that she thinks Jungwon likes you.

You give her an amused smile before turning your attention back to Maeumi. “Look, Jungwon. Shoot your shot.” Wonyoung whispers to the boy. Jungwon’s eyes are still transfixed on you, and anyone could instantly notice how the boy is absolutely smitten.

Before Jungwon can say anything, Ricky bursts through the door. “Jungwon, I couldn’t decide whether to get Wonyoung roses or tulips, so I just got both— oh! You’re already here. Um… hi, Wonyoung,” he says, holding two bouquets.

“These are for you… both of them.” he hands Wonyoung the bouquets, and you see the pink flush on Wonyoung’s cheeks almost instantly as she accepts the flowers from Ricky with a shy smile.

“I take it he’s into her?” you whisper to Jungwon, who’s now standing by your side. Jungwon nods, his arms crossed as he watches the scene in front of you two. “Ever since 10th grade. So, when I got your text, he got a little bit too excited. He asked me if he should come wearing a suit.”

You laugh at his words, and Jungwon thinks it’s the prettiest sound he’s ever heard. “Well, Wonyo’s interested too. Look at them laughing.” you nod towards Wonyoung and Ricky, who are chatting to each other with bright smiles on their faces.

“Let’s not bother them. They seem to be hitting it off quite well. I’m going to prepare dinner, if you’d like to come join me.” he says, heading towards the kitchen. You follow him, and so does Maeumi.

“Don’t go into the kitchen, Maeumi.” you tell the dog, telling it to stay in the living room. You don’t notice Jungwon gazing at you adoringly, but out of the corner of her eye, Wonyoung does. She smiles to herself, before redirecting her attention to Ricky.

You help Jungwon with preparing some of the food, such as chopping up vegetables and seasoning the dishes. “Are you hungry?” he asks you, and you nod.

“Starving. Everything smells so good. You’re a good chef, Jungwon.”

Jungwon smiles. “Well, thank you.”

“What can’t you do?” you ask him, as he cracks an egg into the fry pan. Ricky, despite being outside, overhears your conversation. What can’t Jungwon do? Confess to you, Ricky thinks.

Soon enough, Jungwon finishes cooking. You help him bring out some plates, and some of the dishes. Ricky and Wonyoung are seated next to one another, with Ricky moving his chair just the slightest to be able to be sitting closer to your friend. You smirk at Wonyoung, who gives you a stare to tell you to not say a word.

Jungwon places the last dish on the table, and he sits down in the seat next to you. Now, it’s Wonyoung’s turn to tease you, and you give her the same look.

“Let’s eat!”

Jungwon’s food is amazing. There is quite literally nothing that he can’t do. He’s a lawyer, he was head of the student council, and he could be a chef. Jo should probably watch out.

“This is so good,” you say, in between mouthfuls, and pink dusts Jungwon’s cheeks when he hears your compliment.

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it — eat more,” he says.

The rest of the night is spent reminiscing over your high school days, and Ricky heads towards Jungwon’s fridge, and grabs the bottle of soju that he’s brought. “Jungwon, where’s your shot glasses?”

“Cabinet on your right,” the boy sitting beside you replies. “Get 3. (Name) doesn’t drink.”

You look at him, slightly surprised. “How’d you know?”

“You told Hanni that you don’t drink at the reunion. I remember, (Name).” Jungwon says, smiling at you.

Ricky places the bottle of soju on your side of the table. “He’s got a terrible memory. He only remembers because it’s you,” he whispers to you, before sitting back down in his seat.

And as Jungwon pours soju into his glass, your mind’s fixated on those words. He only remembers because it’s you. Are you someone special to Jungwon?

The thought of being someone special to Yang Jungwon makes you feel… good. It's a simple way of describing it, but you don’t know how else to say it. You’ve never experienced what it’s like to love someone, and you don’t know if this is love, but… you think you care for the boy sitting next to you.

In high school, he would be someone you considered just a classmate. You knew of him, and you talked to him occasionally — but you wouldn’t have ever really considered him to be a friend.

Now, mere weeks after your first meeting in a few years, you’d like to consider Yang Jungwon as one of your friends. You would like to get closer to him, as your relationship has progressed so quickly in the past couple of weeks, but you feel like you’ve known him for… forever.

Yes, that funny word. Forever. For all time.

He feels familiar. He feels like home.

And home is where you feel the safest.

If you told Chaewon all of your thoughts about Jungwon, you’d wonder what she’d say. Is it just a simple, plain crush, or would she consider it to be something more? Or even if it was just a simple, plain crush, could it be something more?

Love has been something you’ve never even considered for yourself. But with Yang Jungwon now in the picture, you’re starting to see the possibility of the last 5 years of your life with who Chaewon would refer to as: the one.

As the night goes on, the chemistry between Ricky and Wonyoung is undeniable. You know that they’d make a cute couple. Would it be too early to say that you think they’ve found their soulmate? you think.

Ricky checks his watch. “Ah, it’s late. I should probably go. I’ll drive you home, if you’d like.” he says to Wonyoung.

“That would be really great,” she says, smiling at him. “But what about you, (Name)?”

“I’ll take her home,” Jungwon says, standing up. “You guys enjoy your date.”

Ricky and Wonyoung’s cheeks both flush red. “Thank you?” Wonyoung replies.

“I’ll clean this up,” Jungwon picks up a few of the plates.

“I’ll help you.” you tell him, and the boy gives you a grateful smile. As you’re piling some of the plates on top of one another, Ricky stops Jungwon in his tracks when he’s on his way to put the dishes into the sink.

“You should do it.” Ricky whispers to him.

“Do what?” Jungwon whispers back.

“Tell her how you feel.”

“What? It’s too early for that,” Jungwon says, and Ricky rolls his eyes. “I reconnected with Wonyoung today.”

Ricky does have a fair point. Jungwon guesses that he’s just a little too scared that he’ll ruin something good between you two.

“It’s okay, Jungwon. I think she’ll reciprocate those feelings. Now, I’m going to drive Wonyoung home. See you tomorrow.” Ricky waves at the boy, and both you and Jungwon hear the door close.

“They’re very cute together,” you tell him, as he cleans a frying pan. “I think we’re great at matchmaking.” you hand Jungwon a plate, and his hand touches yours.

His hand is cold, but his touch makes you feel warm. Your ears feel hot, and you don’t know what’s happening. Are you sick again?

“Yes,” Jungwon says, focused on cleaning the dishes. “I think we are.”

Silence falls between the both of you. Not an awkward silence, more so of a comfortable one. Both of you, simply just basking in the comfort of each other’s presence. You help Jungwon put away the clean plates.

“Thank you, (Name).” he says.

“Uh, no worries.” you reply.

You don’t know when you and Jungwon inch closer to one another. It just happens, as if some force is pushing you two closer together. Jungwon’s eyes flicker towards your lips, and you suddenly feel a little nervous under his gaze.

Your heart’s pounding a mile a minute. You think you’re going to feel sick from all the nervousness.

You want to lean in. You want to give in — to tell your mind that you can fall in love, and like Chaewon said, just because you’re dying, you shouldn’t forbid yourself from finding happiness.

But that fear kicks in. The fear of hurting more people than you already have to. Jungwon’s one of the sweetest, kindest people you think you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Breaking his heart now would be less painful than breaking his heart 5 years later, when you inevitably leave him alone in this world.

That fear tells you to leave. Because that fear tells you that Jungwon deserves someone who can have a Chaewon and Soobin-like fairytale romance. You cannot give him that.

And just as Jungwon leans in, you step back. “Um… I have to go. I’m sorry. I’ll… see you tomorrow. Or sometime soon, I don’t know.”

You take one small glance at Jungwon, and it’s just enough time to notice the dejected look in his eye. But, he quickly covers it up with a tight-lipped smile. “Of course. I’ll send you home.”

“Um, there’s no need for you to,” you say, tapping on your phone. “My sister is coming to get me. Thank you for tonight, Jungwon.”

You grab your bag from the couch, and you rush out the door.

Jungwon can’t help but feel like he’s made the biggest mistake.

EIGHT.

The next time you see Jungwon, you both act like nothing happened.

But the events of that night replay in Jungwon’s head every hour, every second, every minute. The hesitant look on your face before you stepped away is burned into his mind, and remembering the way you rushed out of the door so hastily makes his heart shatter.

You meet him in the park again. You two are quite fond of this park. It is near Jungwon’s workplace, and it is near your house. You walk alongside him, recording the view in front of you with your camera. Jungwon stuffs his hands in his pockets, and he feels like he should talk to you about that night.

Because for a split second before you ran off, Jungwon thought that you wanted to lean in. He supposes he was wrong.

He wonders if he should continue to hold these types of feelings towards you. If you’re clearly not interested, Jungwon understands. He’ll let all these feelings go, and he’ll act like they never existed. You two could stay just friends.

The plan sounds easier said than done, but if that is what will make you happy, he will do it.

He will let go of all those years of pining for you.

He just wants an answer. He doesn’t know if he’s asking for too much, though. As he walks alongside you, he isn’t sure if he should bring the situation up.

“You’re quiet today, Jungwon.” you say, looking at him. The boy snaps out of his thoughts, and offers you a weak smile.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

Should he just talk to you about it?

“I… I was thinking about the thing that happened.” he says, and you immediately know what he means. You stop in your tracks to face him, turning off the recording. “Oh,” you say softly.

Jungwon figures he might as well just pour his feelings out now. It can’t get much more awkward than this, and… if he finds out that you do reciprocate those feelings he holds for you, then… everything will be fine. Well, better than fine. Everything will be great.

“(Name), I like you. I know… that this is sudden — or maybe it isn’t, since the whole thing happened but… I just thought that you should know. I’ve liked you since you walked into that classroom in grade 7, and Maeumi bumping into you at the park was like some sort of sign for me, from the universe, to remind me that I wasn’t over you at all, even though I hadn’t seen you in years — I just… really like you. I’d like to spend every cherry blossom season with you, if you’d let me.”

For a split second, you allow yourself to smile like a lovesick fool.

The confession makes warmth bloom across your chest, and you feel nothing but pure euphoria in the moment.

Every cherry blossom season with you.

Every. Every, being 5. You will see 5 more cherry blossom seasons. Or maybe even less.

And your smile falls.

“Jungwon… thank you for telling me,” you say. Your eyes are fixated on the ground — you don’t want to see the look on his face when you have to shatter his heart. “But… one day, I fear you will regret falling for me if I say yes.”

Jungwon looks at you, confusion written all across his features. “(Name), what do you mean? I have many regrets in life, but I will never regret falling for you.”

He’s sweet. Too sweet. You don’t want to hurt him.

“You can’t know. It’s better for you to not know.” you cannot let Jungwon know you’re dying. Him knowing about your illness would crush him — and you would rather not see Jungwon sad about anything.

“What do you mean?”

“I like you a lot, Jungwon.”

You like him. Jungwon feels the slightest glimmer of hope at your words.

“But, I don’t want to hurt you. Please don’t make this harder than it already is — I don’t want to share my burdens with you. I feel like a burden for everyone else. I don’t need another person to pile all my issues onto — I am hurting, and I will end up hurting everyone else.” you say, your voice shaky. That glimmer of hope Jungwon once felt is suddenly gone.

“Then let us hurt together. You will never be a burden to me, (Name). What makes you say that?” Jungwon asks you, placing his hand on your shoulder to comfort you. You look up at him with tears brimming your eyes, and you give him a weak smile.

“Because everyone thinks that.” you murmur.

“Who thinks that?” he asks you, his voice soft. “I don’t think that — I’ll never think that. (Name), you can talk to me.”

“Jungwon, just… leave it be. I… wish I could say yes to you, but I can’t. I will leave a lot of people hurt, and I would rather not have one of those people be you. And if you’ll excuse me… I have to go.” you say, bidding him farewell.

Once again, you walk away from Jungwon. Just like that night in his apartment.

That time, Jungwon did not chase after you.

This time, he does.

“(Name), please. You won’t hurt me. We can share these burdens together — I am here for you. I will always be here for you,” he says, and you sigh.

“Jungwon, you don’t understand—“

“Then help me understand. Tell me what I don’t understand. If you don’t understand either, let us figure it out together.”

“I don’t want you to understand!” you raise your voice, startling Jungwon. “Because I don’t want you to be hurt. This… is my burden to carry. If things were alright, I would’ve said yes without thinking. If everything was normal, I wouldn’t have ran away that night. If I knew that I wouldn’t hurt you, I would’ve kissed you. But things aren’t alright. Things are not normal, and I know that I will hurt you. So please, Jungwon. Let this… go.”

You know that by saying this, you’ve lost your one chance at love. You pushed away the one person who truly liked you, the person who wanted every cherry blossom season with you — Yang Jungwon.

You want to cry. 5 years left on the clock and you’ll be single and lonely for the rest of your life.

Your heart feels heavy. Everything hurts. You clutch your chest, and suddenly everything feels strange. It’s all spinning, the green leaves on the trees are starting to look fuzzy — you can’t breathe, and your chest just feels tight. Jungwon’s face is starting to become blurry, and you feel like you’re going to collapse.

Are you going to die? Are you going to die in front of Jungwon?

“I… I have to go.” you say, your vision getting blurrier by the second. You try to run away from the boy, but you feel yourself getting weaker and weaker.

“(Name)? Are you okay?” Jungwon notices the urgency in your voice, and the way you’re almost wobbling away from him — you’re losing your balance.

The world becomes a blur, and you collapse to the ground.

NINE.

Your eyes open, and you’re greeted with the familiar sight of a hospital room.

“Hey, (Name).” Chaewon says, her hand on top of yours. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Um… I don’t know.” you say, blinking at her. “I just feel normal. A little more tired than usual, though.”

She nods. “You just woke up. That’s normal.”

“What happened?” you ask her, and Chaewon shrugs.

“You tell me. Jungwon says that you were with him, and then you suddenly passed out in the park. He called an ambulance to get you here. He’s still outside waiting for you. He said he called into work and said there was an emergency,” she replies, smiling. “He’s very sweet, (Name). And he seems to like you a lot.”

“I ruined it. I ruined it all,” you tell Chaewon. “He is… all things perfect, and he likes me. But I am scared, and dying.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I keep not listening to you. You told me that I shouldn’t let this illness get in the way of the things I want — but the fear. It consumes me. I don’t want to leave more and more people behind, I don’t want more people to be hurt because I’m losing my life. I just feel like a burden.” you say, voice shaky as you stare at the white ceiling of your hospital room.

“When I’m gone, I won’t have to suffer any more pain at the hands of this illness. But that means people will be suffering from the loss of me.”

Chaewon sighs. “I can’t just tell you that I understand how you feel, because I really don’t. All I can tell you, from an outside perspective, is that… no matter how long or short it is, life is worth living. I know it’s easier said than done, but… you can’t let that fear control what little of your life you have left.”

“You like Jungwon, don’t you? And don’t you tell me of course you’ll like him, since he’s a friend. I mean you like like him.”

You sigh, staring up at the white ceilings of your hospital room. “There’s just this feeling. This feeling seems to push him and I together. My heart skips a beat when he’s around, and gosh, if I wasn’t so scared of what’s to come, I wouldn’t have ruined everything.”

“Ruined what?”

“He tried to kiss me that night we had dinner with Ricky and Wonyoung. We… both leaned in, but at the last second, I pulled away. All these terrible thoughts were running rampant in my mind, and I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t allow myself to let go of those fears. And he told me he liked me today. Just before I collapsed… I told him I couldn’t be with him because I’d only hurt him and make him feel burdened. He told me that we could share that burden, that we could hurt together. But I could never do that to someone as kind as him. He can’t suffer simply because I am. None of you should have to suffer because I am.”

Chaewon will never understand what it feels like to be you. She’ll never understand what it’s like to know that you’re dying. She’ll never fully understand those fears you have, and at times she may find them irrational.

But what she does understand, is that Yang Jungwon has somehow made his way into your heart. Your heart has been locked for many years now, and you’re not so easy to give someone the key.

However, with Jungwon, you handed him the key like it was the most natural thing to do.

“Jungwon seems like a very sweet guy,” Chaewon tells you. “He cares about you a lot. And I think you care a lot about him too. You don’t want to hurt him, but you’re also pushing him away. Isn’t that going to make him hurt more?”

“This won’t hurt as bad as when I die.”

“And do you want to die without knowing what it’s like to fall in love? Knowing that you had the right person standing in front of you all those years ago, but you had turned around and left because you were scared? Wouldn’t you rather feel nothing but joy, bliss, and love before you go? And… even though you might not get a forever with Jungwon, I’m sure he’ll treasure those 5 years he has with you more than anything.”

“He told me he wanted to spend every cherry blossom season with me.” you murmur.

“Then spend every cherry blossom season you can with him.” she tells you, the volume of her voice matching yours.

“I don’t know how I ended up… liking him this much. Maybe because everything feels peaceful, everything feels just fine — sometimes I forget that I’m dying when I’m with him.” you breathe out shakily.

“Well, I think you know what you need to do, (Name).” Chaewon tells you softly.

“Would you call him in here for me?” you ask her, and she nods. She gives your hand a tight squeeze before she gets out of her chair, leaving your room to go get Jungwon.

You stare at the ceiling blankly once again, wondering what you’re going to say to him. “Are you okay, (Name)?” he asks you once he enters the room, sitting down on the chair next to your bed, and it snaps you out of your thoughts.

You smile at him. “Yes. I am okay.”

He sighs out of relief. “That’s good. That’s good — and I thought about… the conversation. I get it. It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay,” you tell him, and Jungwon looks at you, confused. “I should help you understand. I’m sick. I didn’t want you to know, because everyone around me has been taking care of me, and I have constantly felt like a burden — I did not want you to have to suffer through all of my problems, if we ever started dating.”

“But you will get better, won’t you?”

You press your lips into a thin line. You want to make the best out of these five years. You do not want Jungwon to know that there is no cure. So, you lie. “I will be alright.”

“And I’m sorry, Jungwon.”

“Sorry for…?”

“I really didn’t want to do this in a hospital room, of all places, but I shouldn’t have pulled away that night. I’m sorry for making you feel confused about my feelings,” you tell him. “I wanted it to happen, and I messed things up today because I was scared. I don’t want you to think that I don’t like you, because I do. I don’t know how relationships work, I don’t know how this will go, but I know that… I would like to spend every cherry blossom season with you too.”

“Are you sure?” Jungwon asks, as if he’s in disbelief.

“Yes. I am sure.”

Jungwon gives you the widest smile you’ve ever seen from him, a pink flush blooming across his cheeks. “I really like you, (Name).”

He’s been quietly holding onto his love for you for years. Sure, he’s gone on a couple dates with other people — but even with no contact, his mind drifts off to you. He knows that the effect you have on him is absurd, but he just can’t help it.

He takes your hand, lacing your fingers with his. Even though you are in a hospital bed, everything seems right — with Jungwon, everything always seems right.

So this is the feeling that Chaewon has gushed over. Love.

And now that you finally feel it — love — you’re floating on cloud nine. Yang Jungwon likes you. You like Yang Jungwon. Those fears you once had have now dissipated.

“I would kiss you, but I’d rather not have our first kiss to be in a hospital.” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours.

“It’s okay,” you say, smiling. “I can wait.”

Jungwon now realises that he has loved you silently for too long.

Now he gets to love you out loud.

NINE.

You return home a couple days later.

Jungwon visits you every day when you’re in the hospital. “Rest up, and then we can spend time together. We can go wherever you’d like,” he says, his hand in yours.

“Your condition improves more when Jungwon’s here.” Soobin tells you. “Really?” you ask him, and your sister’s fiancée shakes his head.

“I meant your mood. Not the whole… you know. But I’m working on a cure, don’t forget that.” he says, ruffling your hair.

“Condition is not the same as attitude, Soob. Plus, with the whole cure thing… you always say that.”

“Don’t give up hope, (Name). Your brother-in-law is going to save your life.” he says, smiling at you. You chuckle at his use of the word “brother-in-law”. He hasn’t even married Chaewon yet.

You decide to listen to Soobin’s words — to not give up hope. For the first time, you want to believe that Soobin can create the cure. You want to live, because 5 years are truly not enough.

Those chances are slim. But you ignore that for now. Chaewon tells you to live in the moment, so you do.

You spend the first day out of hospital in Jungwon’s apartment.

“I’m so tired!” Jungwon says, flopping into his bed. You laugh at his antics, and he rolls over, holding his arms out to get you to lie down on the bed with him.

You do, and Jungwon wraps you in his arms, kissing you on the cheek. “You have yet to give me the kiss you told me you’d give me when I was in hospital,” you remind him, and Jungwon smiles.

“I just kissed you on the cheek. That counts, doesn’t it?” he says, teasing you. You frown, and Jungwon smiles at your cute expression. “I’m kidding.”

He leans in, pressing his lips to yours. He kisses you tenderly, one hand cupping your cheek and one hand resting on your waist. The kiss is slow, with the both of you wanting to treasure this moment for as long as you can, and when you finally pull away, you see Jungwon smiling brightly at you, with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes.

“One more.” he says, leaning back in to kiss you again.

He repeats this process ten more times. He pulls away, tells you he wants one more, kisses you again, and then the cycle repeats.

“You are one funny guy.” you tell him.

“Is it funny to want to kiss my girlfriend?” he asks you, his face inches away from yours. You can’t stop the goofy smile from spreading across your lips, and Jungwon finds such amusement in your reaction.

“No,” you reply. This time, you’re the one to lean in first, stealing a kiss from him. He gasps when you pull away, looking at you with wide eyes. “And you called me the funny guy!” he says.

“Well, I like you a lot.” you say.

Maeumi’s bark disturbs the moment that you two have been sharing. “I think he’s telling us to get a room.” you whisper to him, giggling.

“Maeumi, I am in my room!” Jungwon gets up from the bed to ruffle Maeumi’s fur. Maeumi wanders back outside to the living room, and Jungwon returns to the bed. “Let’s watch a movie,” he says, turning on the television in his room.

You make yourself comfortable, sitting in between Jungwon’s legs, resting your head against his chest. You feel his heart beating, perfectly in sync with yours.

Thump, thump, thump. You’ve never felt more alive.

Jungwon notices the small smile on your lips. “What’s got you so happy?” he asks, and you shake your head. “Nothing. Just you.”

“Just me?” Jungwon says, and you nod. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Well, I’m glad that I can make you happy.”

For someone who is dying, joy is not an emotion that comes easily. The pills you take each morning, the constant doctor’s appointments and the pity you see on people’s faces whenever you walk into a room are just some of the things that remind you of your fate. Joy is hard to experience with the constant reminder of death looming just around the corner.

But when you’re with Jungwon, joy comes easily.

You’ve never smiled more after Jungwon officially asked you to be his girlfriend. He asked you the day before you were going to be discharged, showing up to the hospital with a bouquet of pink flowers. “I know they’re not cherry blossoms,” he tells you. “But I hope you still like them.”

You keep these pink flowers in a vase that you’ve placed near your desk. You tell yourself to buy the exact same flowers to replace these ones when they eventually wilt.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to be my girlfriend in a hospital room, but I couldn’t wait any longer.” he had said, his hand holding yours.

The pain you feel across your chest hurts a little less when he’s holding your hand. His smile allows you to forget about the fact that you’re dying, just for a while.

You take a deep breath. This is what it’s like to be alive.

Now that you’ve got a taste of it, after restricting yourself from being able to experience the joy and wonder of what life truly is — you find that you want more life. You want more time.

You want more cherry blossom seasons with Yang Jungwon.

5 seems too little.

Jungwon senses that you’re feeling a little tense, and gives you a kiss on the top of your head. “You okay?” he asks you, and you tilt your head to look at him.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” you tell him, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

“If you want to talk about anything, just tell me. Like I said that day in the park — we can share any burdens you might have together. I’m always here for you.” he tells you softly, and your heart warms at his words.

“Thank you, Won.” you tell him, and you press your lips to his in a soft kiss. “I’m so lucky to have found you.”

“I could say the same about you.”

TEN.

Chaewon’s wedding is today.

It’s been 2 months since you and Jungwon started seeing one another. Every day you spend with him, you feel like you’re falling more and more in love.

You decide to take Jungwon as your plus-one to the wedding. Chaewon is nothing but overjoyed, and she tells you that your parents can properly meet him for the first time (since the first time your parents saw him was at the hospital, after you had fainted at the park.)

“Do I look okay?” you ask Jungwon, who’s patiently waiting for you in a black suit and tie.

Jungwon’s breath hitches in his throat. You look absolutely mesmerising, and Jungwon can’t take his eyes off of you. You’re absolutely breathtaking — he can’t even say a word, his mouth agape as you chuckle at your reaction.

“Won? Hello?”

“Sorry,” he says, snapping out of his daze. “You look… incredible. You are gorgeous, (Name).”

You smile at him, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “We better get going, we don’t want to be late.”

The drive to the wedding venue is filled with laughter, and blasting your favourite songs from the speakers of Jungwon’s car. You tell him about some of the things you’ve written, and he asks if you’ve written anything about him.

You tell him it’s a secret, even though the answer is yes.

You’re writing a book, detailing the last 10 years of your life. You decide not to tell Jungwon the topic of the book, because you wouldn’t want him to find out like this. You don’t want him to find out at all, actually.

But despite the grim topics that you know your book will touch on, every part that mentions Jungwon will be filled with nothing but words of love, joy, and adoration.

When you and Jungwon arrive at the venue, the first thing you notice is how the exterior is decorated beautifully. Chaewon did show you how she wanted everything to be decorated, but now that you see it all in front of you, it looks magical.

“(Name)!” you hear Wonyoung call out to you, and standing beside her is Ricky. Their relationship, just like yours and Jungwon’s, is going well. Wonyoung had told you that she and Ricky had just flown out to Paris for a romantic getaway.

“Wonyo!” you say, walking up to her and giving her a hug. “You look gorgeous, as always.”

Wonyoung blushes at your compliment, thanking you. “You look amazing as well! Jungwon, you’re a lucky guy.” she says, smiling at him, and Jungwon nods.

“That I am,” he says, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

“You guys are so cute. You know, I’ve been watching this guy pine for you since 7th grade, you know that?” Ricky points towards Jungwon, whose cheeks are now turning red. “He’s liked you for a very, very, very, long time.”

“I could say the same about you for Wonyoung,” Jungwon replies, and now Ricky’s the one left with red cheeks, as Wonyoung laughs.

“Where’s Minji and Hajoon?” you ask your friend, and she shrugs. “I think they’re coming soon. We should probably head into the venue and find our seats,” Wonyoung replies, and you nod. “You guys are sitting in the front, because you’re family, right?”

You nod, walking inside the venue. The inside is just as gorgeous as the outside — white chairs are lined up in rows, with a small bouquet of flowers tied to the ends of the chairs on each row. There’s a giant crystal chandelier dangling from the ceiling, and you can’t help but look around in awe.

“Am I in the front with you?” Jungwon asks, and you nod. “Of course,” you say, squeezing his hand. You two make your way to the front row, and your parents are already seated. “Oh, (Name)! And you must be Jungwon. We met at the… hospital, didn’t we?” your mother asks, and Jungwon nods, bowing to her.

“Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to see you again.” he says, and your parents smile at him. “It’s nice to see you again under… better circumstances, Jungwon.” your father says, referring to the incident in the hospital.

“Thank you, sir. I’m glad to be here, the wedding looks beautiful.” he says, admiring the decorations. “Our Chaewon did so much planning for the big day,” your mother replies, smiling. “I’m so happy everything came out the way she and Soobin wanted it to.”

“You know Chae. Ever the perfectionist. Soobin as well,” you joke, and your parents chuckle. “It’s their wedding day. Of course they want things to be perfect.” your mother replies.

Suddenly, you hear the loud voice of your aunt. “Hello, hello! And who’s this?” she asks you, pointing at Jungwon.

“This is Jungwon. He’s my boyfriend, auntie.” you tell her, as she sits down next to your mother. “You? Boyfriend?” she asks, looking very surprised.

Something about her reaction makes you feel very uncomfortable, and Jungwon can sense that. He gives your hand a small squeeze to reassure you. “Uh, yes. Nice to meet you.” he says to your aunt, who looks him up and down.

“How do you know (Name)?”

“High school, ma’am. We were in the same class. We reconnected after accidentally bumping into each other at the park though, and then there was this high school reunion.” he explains, and your aunt nods along to his words — she is not hiding her disinterest at all.

“Well.” is all that she says, and you sigh.

The music starts playing, and you know the wedding is about to start.

When you watch your sister walk down the aisle, you can’t help but have a few tears in your eyes. Jungwon silently gives you a pack of tissues that he’s purposely put in his pocket — he knows that weddings are typically an emotional affair.

“I’m so happy for her.” you say, and Jungwon nods. “They make a very nice couple.” he says to you.

By the time Chaewon’s about to say your vows, you’ve already used up Jungwon’s entire pack of tissues. Mainly because your parents are both crying hysterically.

“Soobin, when I saw you for the first time, something seemed to just… click. It was as if I knew you were going to hold an important place in my life, and I was right. Here I am, standing in front of you, about to marry you, the love of my life. Before I knew you, I had all these… thoughts about how love would be just like the movies, picture-perfect and like a fairytale. Our love isn’t perfect — you are always busy, and I always am busy. But we make things work. And with you, I’ve learned that love doesn’t exactly have to be perfect. Love just needs to be with the right person. And you, Choi Soobin, are the right person for me.”

You’ve never seen Soobin emotional. He’s crying, and it is a strange sight to witness. But you know those are tears of happiness, tears of joy.

The room erupts into cheers when they kiss, and you can’t stop smiling from ear to ear.

Jungwon finds himself looking at you, as Chaewon and Soobin walk down the aisle together.

Maybe that could be you and him someday. Not anytime soon, of course, considering that you two had only been dating for 2 months.

But Jungwon dreams for a forever with you. He sees a forever with you. He wants a forever with you.

He just doesn’t know that he can’t.

TEN.

During the after party, you go into the bathroom to hide while you take your medicine.

You don’t wish for it to be a whole scene, and you certainly don’t want people asking you about why you need medication. Or much worse, people who know about your illness bringing up the fact that you’re dying right in front of Jungwon.

He must not know. He cannot know.

You take a small bottled water into the bathroom stall with you, and as you open your small pill box, taking out the medicine, you hear 2 voices.

One that belongs to your aunt, and one who’s presumably her friend, based on the way they’re giggling.

“Oh, what a wonderful wedding. Eunsoo must be so happy about how everything went.” your aunt’s friend says. “Chaewon and Soobin are such a perfect match.”

“Absolutely,” your aunt replies. “Ah, do you know (Name) brought her boyfriend to the wedding?”

“(Name)? I heard she only had 2 to 3 years left, right? Because of that dreadful illness. Poor Eunsoo, losing a daughter so young. And poor Chaewon too, losing your sister so quickly after getting married.” your aunt’s friend sighs.

You don’t want to hear this conversation. You didn’t bring headphones, nothing to drown their voices out. But you simply cannot leave the bathroom stall now, not while they’re out there.

So you have to listen.

“Yes, she’s got a maximum of 5 years left. She looks much happier today, I must say. But I pity the boyfriend. Seems like a very sweet young man,” your aunt says, and you feel absolutely terrible. “He doesn’t seem to know about the illness, which is for the better. I only pray that he won’t be too hurt when she eventually goes.”

“Poor (Name) won’t even be able to get married. 5 years is not enough time.”

“Don’t you think (Name) is wasting the poor boy’s time? She seeks happiness before she goes, but… what’s his name again? Jungwon, he’ll be terribly devastated. If I was in her position, I wouldn’t risk it.”

Your aunt’s words make you feel like throwing up.

You have thought all these things before. But now hearing that other people have thought about it too makes everything feel much worse. Maybe you are wasting Jungwon’s time — maybe he should find someone better, someone who isn’t dying, someone who could give him a forever.

“We better get back,” your aunt says. “I heard the cake is delicious.”

When you hear the door close behind them, you let out a sigh. You hastily take your pill, swallowing it down. You leave the bathroom stall, looking at yourself in the mirror.

Deep breaths, (Name). Jungwon’s voice rings in your head.

Don’t think about anything you just heard. Don’t mention what you just heard to anyone. Act like everything is just perfectly fine.

You plaster on a smile before exiting the bathroom, and you make your way over to Jungwon. You fiddle with your fingers nervously, and Jungwon grabs ahold of one of your hands. “Is something wrong?”

He’s so attentive. It’s so incredibly sweet, but also makes it incredibly hard to hide anything from him. You’re lucky he doesn’t pry when you tell him you’re fine — he trusts you. If you’re not ready to tell him, he doesn’t push it.

“I’m okay, Won, I was just redoing my makeup. From crying.” you lie. You can’t show him that you were shaken up due to what you had overheard from the bathroom – especially words that had come out of a family member’s mouth.

Thanks to your aunt, many of the fears that you had before come back. They haunt you like demons that attach themselves to you like leeches on your shoulder, their dark, gloomy voices whispering into your ear. You are wasting his time, they tell you. You are hurting him. You might bring him joy now, but you will bring him endless sadness.

“Yes, you did cry quite a bit,” Jungwon’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. He rests his hand on your shoulder, and all those demons suddenly disappear. “You’re lucky that I brought those tissues.”

“My parents basically used all of them – they were hysterical. Plus, I’m surprised Chaewon didn’t burst into tears the second she saw Soobin.”

Chaewon appears the second you say her name. “I was holding in my tears, thank you very much.” she says, and you greet her with a hug. “You’re married, Chae!”

“I’m married!” she squeals, showing off her ring. “My heart is just… so full. I feel like it could explode right now.” The pure joy on Chaewon’s face is very clearly visible, and seeing your sister so happy with Soobin brings a smile to your face.

“Jungwon, I hope you don’t mind that I steal your girlfriend away from you for just a little bit,” Chaewon says, and you roll your eyes playfully at her. “I’ve got to talk to her.”

“I’m your sister,” you remind her as she drags you away from your boyfriend. “Sorry,” you mouth to Jungwon, who chuckles, telling you to come back soon. When you leave his side, you see your parents go up to him, and Jungwon greets them politely.

“So… you brought him to the wedding. Things must be getting serious.” Chaewon says, taking a sip of her champagne. You look back at Jungwon talking to your parents, and he’s laughing at something that your mother had said. “Yes. I suppose so,” you hum. “It’s been 2 months since we started dating.”

“Yet it feels like it’s been two years. In the span of 2 months, you and Jungwon have done more couple-like things than Soobin and I have in our 7 years of being together.” she says matter-of-factly, gazing at her now-husband, who’s talking to Taehyun. Judging by how pink Soobin’s ears are, Taehyun’s definitely teasing him about crying at the altar.

“That’s not true,” you refute. “You and Soobin are so couple-y. It’s just that you two are always busy. Soobin’s a doctor, you’re always working on your design projects at home. Whenever you two are free, you’re the most PDA-packed couple I know.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes, feigning annoyance as you stifle a laugh. “You know like 2 couples.”

“Wrong, I know 3. Ricky and Wonyoung, over there.” you say, pointing the new couple out to Chaewon, who’s eyes widen. “Oh, right! They just went on a romantic trip to Paris too. When will you and Jungwon do that?” she asks you, lightly nudging you with her elbow.

“I don’t know,” you hum, gazing at Jungwon with a soft smile on your lips. “Maybe someday. Someday soon, before I have to end it. But I’m content with where we are right now. It’s just him and I… and everything is… good. Life is good, he is good, I am good.”

Chaewon recognises that look in your eye. Love.

She remembers you asking her what falling in love feels like. Chaewon had told you that it felt like feeling so much joy to the point where you felt like your heart would explode. She guesses that you understand what that feeling is now.

“You’re in love.” she muses, a smile spreading across her lips.

You look at Jungwon, and he looks at you. Your heart thumps in your chest as he flashes you that dazzling smile that you’re greeted by every morning. Thump, thump, thump. Your heartbeat matches the rhythm of his.

“I suppose I am.”

ELEVEN.

There are some days when you feel weaker than usual.

Today is one of those days. You wake up next to Jungwon, and you just feel fragile, as if your bones could shatter if you were just nudged gently. You just feel tired.

“Morning, my love.” he says, when you turn over to face him. You smile at the petname, and Jungwon gives you a quick kiss. “I’ll go get your medicine.” he tells you, getting out of bed.

You feel like the luckiest person alive to have someone like Yang Jungwon in your life. He returns with a glass of water and your medication, handing the pill to you as you sit yourself up on the bed, back against the headboard. You take the pill from him gratefully, washing it down with the glass of water he had given you.

“Do you have to go to work today?” you ask him, tugging on the edge of his shirt, motioning for him to climb back into bed with you. He does, pulling the blanket over his body and wrapping his arms around you. “Yes, unfortunately so.” he replies, and you frown.

“Don’t be sad. I’ll meet you for lunch, you can write your book here, spend the day with Maeumi if you’d like.” he tells you, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You smile at his gesture, and Jungwon swears that with every smile you flash him — he falls more and more in love with you.

“I’ll probably stay at home. Not feeling very… me today, if that makes sense.” you tell him, and it’s now Jungwon’s turn to frown. “Did something happen?” he asks you, and you shake your head.

“No,” you reply. “Just tired and… I don’t know.”

“What do you not know?” he asks you, and you think perhaps you should open up to him just a little. You’ve been hiding fears from him for all this time because you don’t want him to find out your illness is incurable — but you know that Jungwon can tell when something’s wrong with you. You don’t want to leave him in the dark more than you already have been, considering you’re not telling him that you’re dying.

“I feel weak. This sickness is… tiring and draining. Everyone around me seems to feel the need to take care of me and I know you keep telling me that I shouldn’t think of myself this way but… I just feel like I’m burdening everyone.” you confess. Jungwon hugs you a little tighter after you tell him.

“You are ill, (Name). People who care about you will try to do their best to make you feel as comfortable as you can be. Don’t think that they’re doing it out of obligation — they do it out of love. I do it out of love,” Jungwon says, and his words bring tears to your eyes. Jungwon notices, and he wipes your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “I love you, and I am here for whatever you need. You will never be a burden to me. I’ve told you this many times, and I will tell you it again and again.”

You just realised that this is the first time Jungwon’s ever told you he loves you. You can’t help but suddenly smile, even though there are tears rolling down your cheeks. “What’s with the sudden smile, my love?” Jungwon asks — but he’s not complaining. He loves to see your smile, its brightness could rival the sun’s.

“You just told me that you loved me for the first time.” you say, and Jungwon nods.

“I did,” Jungwon replies. “I love you.”

You press your lips to his in a sweet kiss, and you can’t stop the goofy, lovesick grin that appears on your face when you pull away. “I love you too, Jungwon.”

“Everything will be just fine, my love. We’ll go see the cherry blossoms every year. You do say you like them a lot. Plus, you compare yourself to them quite often.” he reassures you.

Every year, as in only 5 more years. But Jungwon doesn’t know that.

“I compare myself to them because just like them, I am fragile.” you say, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No. That is one quality of the cherry blossom that you do not possess. I compare you to them, because just like the flowers, you are beautiful. More beautiful than the flowers, in fact.”

Your cheeks feel hot at Jungwon’s words, burying your face in his neck out of shyness. Your boyfriend chuckles, patting your back. “You will get better in no time, (Name). I know it.”

Your heart aches knowing that you don’t think you’ll be able to get better before a cure is properly made for your illness. You want more days, more months, more years.

You found your reason to live, but now your life is slipping away.

You smile at him. You hope he doesn’t know it’s a sad smile. “Yes. You’re right,” you try to hide the shakiness of your voice, praying that he doesn’t ask if anything’s wrong — you know how attentive he is, especially towards you. “I will get better.”

She’s wasting his time. Your aunt’s voice rings in your head, and you find that she has replaced the demons that constantly haunt you.

But when Jungwon presses his lips to yours once again, that voice disappears. All is well. The silence isn’t strange, or weird at all. Jungwon runs his hand up and down your back, and his touch is comforting.

“You better get dressed before you’re late to work.” you whisper against his lips. “Maybe I’ll call in sick today.” he replies, a cheeky smile on his lips. He kisses you again, before crawling out of bed. You sit back up, a smile on your lips as you watch Jungwon disappear into the bathroom.

On the days where you feel weak, there are times where Jungwon is able to make you feel as if you are invincible. As if you’re able to take on whatever life throws at you, despite your illness draining the life out of you day by day.

You remain in bed while Jungwon gets ready to go to work, your laptop perched on your lap as you type your book up. “I have to go now. I will see you at lunch, my love.” he bids you goodbye with another sweet kiss.

“See you,” you call out. “I love you.”

Jungwon looks back at you. “I love you too.”

TWELVE.

You have a doctor’s appointment today.

Jungwon insists on coming with you, but you tell him that you’ll be fine. Chaewon is going with you, and so are your parents. Plus, it’s only a check up anyways. And, Jungwon is getting pretty busy with a new case of his — you don’t want him to have any distractions.

You head into the hospital, the place that you could somewhat consider a second home. There was a period of time where you spent months here, surrounded by white walls, white curtains and the constant beeping of the machines that used to terrify you when you were younger.

Now, these beeping noises are no longer terrifying — they are familiar, they are normal. These white walls and white curtains are things that you have grown accustomed to.

You sit on the hospital bed, Chaewon sitting by your side as she sketches out new designs in her sketchbook. “That’s a nice dress,” you say, taking a peek of what she’s drawing, and she looks up at you. “I’d buy it.”

Chaewon holds up the book to show you it so you can see the design a bit more clearly. “Really? I feel like it looks a little bland,” she frowns. It’s a short black dress with unique sleeves — simple, but classy. “You have the sleeves. It’s not bland.”

“Hmm. I’ll take your word for it,” she says gladly, and you nod. You revert your focus back onto your book — you can’t seem to find the right words to describe the boring, empty 5 years before you met Jungwon. It was a meaningless 5 years, which is why you don’t feel like there’s much to say.

“Do you think Soobin has made any progress about the cure for my condition?” you suddenly ask Chaewon, who places her pencil down on her lap. “I’m not so sure, (Name). Are you curious?”

Chaewon notices how there seems to be a slight glimmer of hope in your eyes. “Yes,” you reply. Your sister has never seen you so interested or so full of hope when it comes to curing your illness — she thought you had given up. Or at least that’s what you had always said to her. “I am… holding out hope, just as you are.”

“Why the sudden change in perspective? Not that I’m complaining.” Chaewon asks, and you shrug.

“I want to live.”

If this cure works, you don’t just get 5 cherry blossom seasons with Jungwon. You get much, much more. And you get more time with your sister, and you two could maybe finally tick off those boxes on your shared bucket list. You could finally see your book be published, and fulfil your childhood dream of becoming an author.

Your sister knows why you are hopeful. You want more time to be with Jungwon. Ever since you met him again, she’s noticed how you don’t find life to be dull, meaningless, and boring — you now allow yourself to enjoy it. You allow yourself to find joy in the littlest of things, in the silliest of things.

You have asked her to go out with you more, often bringing up the bucket list that you two made. “Let’s complete the ones we can complete!” you tell her, and Chaewon had never been so overjoyed to hear such words come out of your mouth.

You finally seem to understand how vibrant, how beautiful and how worthwhile life can be. You are making the most out of the 5 years that you have left — and despite how Chaewon does find the change in your perspective about life a little sudden, she’s not complaining. Your fears seem to have disappeared entirely, and you haven’t been talking about your impending doom for a while now.

Because over the past few months, you realise that your life is something that you don’t want to end so quickly. You’ve been insanely lucky to know people like Jungwon, Chaewon, Minji and Wonyoung in your life — you suppose people who get too lucky in one aspect of life will sometimes be extremely unlucky in another.

Your longtime doctor, Doctor Lee, walks into the room, holding a clipboard. Soobin follows her into the room, and he greets Chaewon with a wide smile.

“Well, nothing about your condition has changed since the last time you came, (Name). Have you been feeling alright?” Doctor Lee asks you.

“Yes, I’ve been feeling fine. My medication is helping, I think.” you say, smiling brightly at your doctor.

Doctor Lee has never seen you this happy — well, to be fair, it is a hospital. Most people are not exactly overjoyed to be here, but the usual frown plastered on your lips is replaced with a bright smile.

“You seem hopeful.” Doctor Lee knows that you had accepted that you were going to pass soon. You didn’t seem interested in prolonging your life at all, didn’t seem interested in seeing if there was some sort of cure out there — he had thought you had given up hope entirely.

Chaewon looks at the doctor. “She is.”

“That is good,” Doctor Lee says. You don’t notice the subtle look that Soobin gives Chaewon to tell her to follow him outside. “Stay hopeful.”

Chaewon tells you that she’ll speak to Soobin outside for a quick moment, and you nod, returning your focus to your laptop, typing on the keyboard.

I was 22 when I first felt hope that I would be able to live longer than the 10 years that I was given. I had totally given up, really, when I first got my diagnosis. All hope was crushed when I heard the news, and somehow, 5 years later — I had found that hope again.

You don’t know that outside your hospital room, Soobin and Doctor Lee have to crush that hope that you had just found.

“It didn’t work?” Chaewon asks in disbelief. Soobin had worked days, and nights in order to develop this trial medicine — only for everyone to find out that it hadn’t worked. “I’m sorry, Chae.”

“Keep trying.”

Doctor Lee sighs. “Chaewon, we—“

“You promised.” she says, cutting Doctor Lee off. Your sister looks at the two of them with teary eyes, and Soobin reaches a hand out to comfort her. “You promised that you would do whatever it took to cure my sister. (Name) finally believes that you two could do something — that there would be a cure, and you’re telling me that you want to give up?”

“We don’t want to give up. We just have to find… another way. And that other way might take a lot of time… time that (Name) does not have.” Doctor Lee says, and Chaewon clenches her fists in frustration.

“I have… so much that I have yet to do with (Name). We haven’t even gone travelling together. No concerts, no fun moments after her diagnosis. I have spent hundreds and thousands of days in these rooms, surrounded by white walls, white curtains, worrying that she could die any minute, and waiting for answers on whether someone will be able to help her live. I have always held out hope, and I am not going to lose that hope now. Not when she has just found that hope too. 5 years is enough time. Say it will be enough.”

Soobin sighs, looking at Doctor Lee hesitantly. “I cannot guarantee anything, Chaewon. I am sorry.” Doctor Lee replies, looking down at her shoes.

Chaewon looks at Soobin, tears brimming in her eyes. It pains Soobin to see her like this. His heart aches, it burns — he really wished that the medicine had worked. “Say it. Soobin, please.”

“I… it will be enough.”

THIRTEEN.

It has been nearly a year since you met Jungwon again in the park.

Time flies much faster than you’d like for it to, and it reminds you that the end for you is approaching. Your days seemed to take forever to pass by when you were spending your days at home, cooped up inside — but now when you’re with Jungwon, your days seem to pass by so much quicker.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.” Jungwon says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He hands you a bouquet of pink flowers, which you gladly accept. There’s a wide smile on your lips as you look at the flowers,

“I would’ve gotten you cherry blossoms, but — it’s hard to put them in bouquets.” Jungwon tells you, and you shake your head. “No, it’s alright. I love them.”

“I also have another gift for you. Well, I have many gifts, but this one’s a fun one,” he hands you a pink box, with your name written on it in cursive. “Open it.”

Inside the box is a white wig. Two white wigs, in fact.

You’re very confused as to why Jungwon would give you two white wigs for Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t Halloween — but you still wouldn’t really understand being gifted white wigs on Halloween anyways. You look at him with a perplexed expression as Jungwon tries to stifle a loud laugh.

“What’s this?” you ask, picking up one of the wigs. “Why'd you give me 2 white wigs?”

“Well, it’s a long story. I came up with it after Ricky told me something the other day,” Jungwon says, sitting down on the couch, patting the seat next to him, motioning for you to sit down beside him. “Ricky told me about this Chinese idiom the other day.”

Jungwon copy pastes the characters from Ricky’s text message into the Google search bar. You look at Jungwon, confused as to what this idiom means.

“It means to grow old together, healthily and happily, until our hair’s all white.” Jungwon fiddles with the wig, and you didn’t know a gesture so silly could hold so much… meaning. “Me giving this to you means that I want to grow old with you, until our hair’s all white. Hence the white wigs.”

You feel like crying.

Jungwon sees the tears fall from your eye, and he looks at you in alarm. “(Name), why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,” you say, as you let Jungwon wipe your tears away with the pad of his thumbs. “The whole… growing old with you thing. The white wigs are so… stupid, so funny — but the meaning behind it is so sweet. You’re too sweet.”

But you do know why you’re crying, you just cannot tell him. You won’t be able to grow old with him, healthily and happily. You are but just a small chapter in Jungwon’s life, perhaps a very important one, but a small one nevertheless.

5 years is very short when you consider how long the average human lifespan is — you and Jungwon only have 5 years.

5 years to live, 5 years to love.

You won’t be able to see Jungwon’s hair go as white as these wigs. Jungwon won't be able to see your hair in that state too, because by the time that rolls around — you’d have been gone for years and years. He might’ve even forgotten about you.

“They do look quite funny, don’t they?” Jungwon takes the other wig out of the box, putting it on his head. You laugh at how he looks with the white wig on — he’s put it on terribly, his natural dark brown hair peeking out from the bottom. “This is what I’m going to look like when I’m old. This is a preview.”

You smile. “We need to draw some wrinkles onto your face.”

“I’m gonna put the other one on for you.”Jungwon says, taking the wig out of your hands, and placing it on your head. He’s put the wig on just as badly, and he giggles at how you look with the white wig on.

“What, do I look bad?”

“No, (Name). You are very pretty. Too pretty, in fact. Even with my horrible wig application skills, you are still gorgeous,” he says, hand caressing your cheek. Your heart melts at his words, and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. “You’ll always be gorgeous to me.”

“Even when I’m old and wrinkly?” you ask him, even though you know he’ll never see you when you’re old and wrinkly. Your life ends in 5 years, not in 50 years, or more.

“Even when you’re old and wrinkly.” he affirms. “Like I said… I want to grow old with you. We can be old and wrinkly together.”

As much as you want to be old and wrinkly with Jungwon, you feel as if it might be impossible. The last time you went to the hospital, you saw Chaewon returning into your room with teary eyes after a conversation with Soobin and Doctor Lee.

That is never a good sign.

You want to hope that you’ll get more time. But realistically… you feel as if your time is running out faster than ever before.

Jungwon will continue with his life. He will get to 30, 40, 50, 60, and so on. You, however — will only make it to 27.

Fate is cruel. You know that better than anyone. Fate tears your opportunity of finding your very own happily ever after, with Jungwon. Fate tears away the opportunity for you and Chaewon to check off every little box on that bucket list. Fate tears away the chance for you to grow old and wrinkly with Jungwon, white hair and all.

So you suppose seeing him with this white wig on will suffice. The wig is terribly applied, and when you first saw him with it on, you couldn’t resist laughing. But the more you look at him with the wig on, you can’t help but realise that this is your closest chance of seeing Jungwon old, wrinkly and white-haired.

Jungwon doesn’t know it, but this is also his closest chance of seeing you old, wrinkly and white-haired.

“You want to grow old with me?” you murmur.

“Of course I do. I love you,” Jungwon looks at you with the softest look in his eyes, and you can’t help but smile at him.

You want to grow old with him too. It’s a shame that you don’t think you’ll be able to.

“Do you want to grow old with me?”

“Yeah. Of course I do,” you reply, and Jungwon lets out a relieved sigh. “What, did you think I was going to respond differently?”

“No — I was just… I don’t know. Maybe it was too soon to tell you that I want to spend forever with you.” Jungwon rests his head on your shoulder, and you fiddle with the hairs of the white wig on his head.

“It’s not too soon. I want to spend forever with you too, Won.”

If your forever with Jungwon has to be 5 years, you decide that you’ll make it the best 5 years.

FOURTEEN.

The first cherry blossom season you spend with Jungwon as a couple rolls around.

The flowers are in full bloom, and as you and Jungwon walk around the park, hand in hand, the boy next to you can’t help but notice how your eyes widen in awe at the sight above.

Sure, you see these magnificent flowers each year, but every year, the sight of them gets more and more spectacular. It is as if the cherry blossoms are putting on a show for you — perhaps during the last cherry blossom season you’ll see in your lifetime, they will look even more splendid, even more grand and magnificent than they were in the previous years.

“Do you want a picture with the flowers?” Jungwon asks you, and you nod, handing him your camera. He tells you to stand in front of one of the trees as you smile brightly at the camera. The sight of your smile makes Jungwon’s heart race.

“You look pretty,” he hums, when you run back over to him to look at the photo. Your cheeks feel hot at his compliments, and Jungwon looks at your flustered face with a small smile. “What? It’s true.”

You tell Jungwon that you’ll take a photo of him, and he flashes a peace sign at the camera. You snap the photo, and right after, Jungwon bends down to pick up a cherry blossom flower that’s fallen to the pavement, still perfectly intact.

He walks up to you, tucking the delicate flower behind your ear. Just like he did during the second time you had met him at this park. Warmth blooms across your chest, and you can’t stop the giddy smile from spreading across your lips.

“Let me find one for you,” you tell him, taking his hand in yours. “We can match.”

You and Jungwon walk around the park, and now you realise that you two are one of the happy couples that you used to envy. You remember that you knew you would never be able to experience a love like they did – but you were wrong.

Now you understand what it’s like to love.

Falling in love could be the most complicated thing in the world – it is even more complicated for you, considering all the doubts and all the fears you had before you decided to give love a chance. But Jungwon makes falling in love easy.

Falling in love with Jungwon seems like the simplest thing in the world. As if it is natural, as if it was destined to happen.

You doubted if you could make him happy. You doubted if you were wasting his time – but never once had you doubted your feelings for him.

You think that you probably fell for him the minute you saw him again in the park, when Maeumi bumped into you. After that first meeting, even as you returned home, he was stuck in the back of your mind.

You still remember when he drunkenly told you that he thought you were pretty. You bring it up often, and Jungwon just replies with: “I knew what I was saying when I told you that.” Even after nearly a year of dating, Jungwon is still able to make you feel like you’ve fallen in love with him for the first time ever.

The birds are chirping, the cherry blossom petals are falling, and your hand is in Jungwon’s. Everything is right. The scenery is beautiful, and the boy walking beside you is even more beautiful. You remind him of it, and his cheeks go as pink as the vibrant blossoms up above.

You finally find a perfectly intact cherry blossom flower that’s fallen to the floor, and you pick it up with a big grin. “Look!” you tuck the flower behind Jungwon’s ear, and he lets out a soft chuckle. “Now we’re matching.”

“Yes, we are.” Jungwon replies, swinging your arms back and forth. Unconsciously, a smile makes its way onto your lips. It’s funny, considering how you didn’t smile often before you met Jungwon. People have noticed how you’ve seemed much happier, much more carefree.

“Do you remember what you told me the first time we were here alone? When Maeumi wasn’t here,” Jungwon suddenly asks, and you tilt your head, awaiting his answer. “You told me that you like cherry blossoms. Then, I asked you why. You told me that they’re beautiful, but don’t last very long, which is why you find them interesting. You said they feel familiar.”

You remember. Of course you remember.

“Then, I told you that I felt that their existence being short-lived allowed people to appreciate and admire them more. To cherish them more, to hold them dear.” he recounts, as you two walk further into the park.

“Mhm,” you say. Jungwon still hasn’t caught on to the fact that you said they felt familiar because just like their existence, yours will be short-lived too.

“You then said that they were beautiful. I agreed, but really, I was just looking at you.” he says, suddenly feeling shy as you smile.

“You have loved me for a long time. Ever since 7th grade, wasn’t it?” you ask, and Jungwon nods. “I’m surprised you even waited that long for me.”

“I’m very happy I waited.” Jungwon replies. “Because now, I get to spend every single day with you, the love of my life. We’ll get more of these cherry blossom seasons, won’t we? We’ll come here even when we’re old and wrinkly, with our hair as white as those wigs.”

“Yes,” you say, a slight hint of sadness in your tone. “More cherry blossom seasons.”

“30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons. We can see them all. Like you said, every year they seem to get prettier, right?” Your heart can’t help but melt at Jungwon seemingly already knowing that you are the one for him — but… 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons are something that is simply unattainable for you.

“They do get prettier every year.” you hum.

“That’s good. I did tell you that I wanted to spend every cherry blossom season with you by my side, didn’t I?”

“You did. We can have 30, 40, 50 and more cherry blossom seasons,” you lie, and your heart hurts as you say those words — you’ve lied one too many times to Jungwon.

Then, you tell him another lie.

“We can have as many as you’d like.”

FIFTEEN.

You and Jungwon have now shared 3 cherry blossom seasons together.

Time is running out. The fourth cherry blossom season is about to roll around, and you know that you’re feeling weaker already. Hospital check-ups have been more frequent, you’ve spent more time at home lately, and you’ve been prescribed with a different medication.

Spending more time at home has allowed for you to have more time to work on your book, which is making good progress. You wrote about the times where you fell more and more in love with Jungwon, you wrote about how you were finally able to tick off some of the boxes on your bucket list with Chaewon, and you wrote about how you’re feeling, as your final 5 years are starting to come to a close.

You try to hide how you’re getting weaker day by day from Jungwon. You’re not sure if it’s working, but he hasn’t mentioned anything about it.

You’ve got another hospital check-up today, and thankfully, Jungwon’s busy with another case. You sit on the hospital bed again, laptop perched on your lap as you continue typing up your book, the sound of the keyboard clicking resounding throughout the room.

“Have you told Jungwon yet?” Chaewon asks you, and you shake your head. “I can’t.” you reply, and your sister frowns.

“Why not? He’s your boyfriend of 3 years.”

“He would be crushed.” you reply. Chaewon doesn’t understand — in all honesty, she thought Jungwon knew all along that you only had 5 years left. She didn’t expect for him to only know that you were ill, and left thinking that your illness was curable.

“So you’ve been lying to him about your illness being curable?” Chaewon asks, and you sigh, closing the lid of your laptop.

“Not lying, per se,” you start, but then you remember the amount of times you’ve told him that you two could have a forever. 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons. “More so… hiding? I just don’t want to tell him.”

“Why?”

“I finally have… some sense of normalcy. Whenever I’m with Jungwon, I don’t feel like a helpless sick person. I finally have someone who I’m close to, someone who I love — who doesn’t see me as just my illness. He doesn’t know that I’m dying, he treats me as if I’m not dying — that is what I want. I want normalcy, I want to live life as if I don’t know that any second now, death will be knocking on my front door. And, Jungwon knowing would absolutely break him. He’s loved me since 7th grade — I can’t… I can’t tell him now.”

“He’s going to hurt more if you break up with him out of the blue before you have to go. Why not tell him now, so he can prepare himself?”

“I…”

Your train of thought is broken when Doctor Lee walks into the room. Your doctor looks worried, upset, even. Her eyebrows are knitted together as she looks at her clipboard with a dejected look on her face.

“Doctor?” Chaewon asks. “What’s the matter?”

“(Name)… your condition seems to be getting worse. You did mention how you felt more tired lately, didn’t you?” she asks.

“Yes, I did mention that.”

“I’m afraid I have to tell you that you only have about a year left. Maybe even less.” she says, and you sit there, shell-shocked as you try to process the news.

Your 5 years have been cut into 4.

The realisation that this is your last year left just hits you, and the dam breaks. You let out a loud sob, and Doctor Lee’s never seen you like this before. Chaewon wraps her arms around you as you sob into her shoulder, trying to control herself from bursting into tears just like you are.

You thought you were prepared. You thought you were ready to go — but you’re not. You don’t want to accept that this is your fate anymore, but what can you do? You cannot fight this illness — it is a battle you cannot win.

“It’s okay, (Name). It’s okay.” Chaewon says, patting your back in an attempt to comfort you. “I don’t want to go,” you choke out between sobs, and Chaewon shakes her head, tears brimming her eyes.

“I don’t want you to go either.” your sister says.

“I want more life.”

“I know.” she says, patting your head gently. “I want you to have more life too.”

“Why me?” you sob, and Chaewon wipes your tears with the tissues sitting on the side of your bed. “I don’t know. I wish I knew. I wish it wasn’t you.” she replies, wiping her own tears with the corner of her sleeve.

Chaewon thought she had more time. She was prepared for 2 more years left with you — but now knowing you had 1 year, or maybe even less was heartbreaking. She knew she would lose you earlier on in life, but not this early. Not when you weren’t even 26.

“What about the treatment, Doctor Lee? The other way?” Chaewon asks, a sense of urgency in her voice. Doctor Lee only sighs, looking down at her shoes.

“1 year is… very little time to decide whether or not it’ll work. There is no guarantee, so…”

“A year is not enough. That is what you mean.” your sister says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, (Name). I’m sorry, Chaewon. I wish we could’ve done more.” Doctor Lee leaves to give you both privacy.

“I thought I was ready.” you say, Chaewon trying her best to comfort you by patting your back lightly. “I’m… nowhere near ready. I don’t want to go. Please, Chae.”

You beg for Chaewon to do something, even though you know she can’t. No miracle medicine can save you now. The sand in the hourglass is running out, your time is ticking — and time flies fast.

“Do I have to tell Won?” you murmur, and Chaewon shakes her head, unsure of what advice to give you.

She thought she understood how hard it would be. But she could never imagine being put in your situation — dying, with the person you love not knowing that you’ll be gone within a year.

“I think… that is up for you to decide.”

SIXTEEN.

Jungwon meets up with Ricky for the first time in a couple of months.

Ricky’s never free anymore. His career has skyrocketed into success, and so has Wonyoung’s. But thankfully, Ricky’s able to make some time to see Jungwon just for a few hours before he’s off to another shoot.

Jungwon doesn’t know how he does it. Ricky was just in Milan a couple days ago — how is he not jet-lagged?

The two decide to meet at a coffee shop, one that they used to go to when they were both in high school. Ricky’s immediately noticeable, due to the expensive suit he’s wearing.

“It’s been ages, man.” Ricky says, and Jungwon nods. “It really has.” Jungwon replies, smiling.

“So, what have you been up to? Aside from… modelling.” Jungwon asks, and Ricky shrugs. “Spending time with Wonyoung. You know… 3 years, still going strong. I have to thank you and (Name) for getting us together, to be honest. We should do one of those double dates again sometime.” he replies, and Jungwon nods, agreeing.

“A hundred percent. We haven’t hung out as just us 4 in a while. I know (Name) meets up with Wonyoung and Minji occasionally.”

“So, how’s (Name)?” Ricky asks.

At the sound of your name, a lovesick grin immediately makes its way into Jungwon’s lips, and Ricky’s got that teasing, cat-like smirk plastered on his face at the sight of his friend’s expression. “Still whipped, aren’t you?”

“Even more than before, perhaps,” Jungwon replies. “I actually came to ask for your help.”

“Oh? What is it?” Ricky asks, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed.

“I need your help to help me choose a ring.”

Ricky immediately sits straight up in his chair, eyes widened as his jaw drops open. “You’re kidding! Engagement ring? Jungwon, are you planning to propose?”

Jungwon nods, a small smile on his lips. Ricky can’t resist pulling his friend in for a hug. “That’s crazy, oh my god! Well, not exactly, since you’ve been in love with her for like… forever, but oh my god. You’re going to be a married man.”

“I mean, I don’t know if she’s going to say yes...” Jungwon seems hesitant, and Ricky thinks that he has no reason to be. Ricky sees it in your eyes — you’re crazily in love with Jungwon, just as he is with you. There’s no way you won’t say yes.

“You, my friend — are very stupid. (Name) is one hundred percent going to say yes. She loves you so much! Maybe even too much. What ring do you have in mind?” Ricky asks, and Jungwon shrugs. He knows that he wants something to do with cherry blossoms. It’s what he could consider to be your thing. Those pink flowers are what suits you, and it’s something he knows that you love.

“Maybe like… cherry blossoms? Something related to that. She loves those flowers.”

Ricky nods. “Cherry blossoms. Hmm… that’s something that isn’t too common with engagement rings, but I’m sure we can find something. Or what about a pink diamond?”

Jungwon hums, nodding at Ricky’s suggestion. “I think she might like that.”

Ricky looks over at his friend, and he thinks that he’s never seen Jungwon this happy. He’s got a permanent smile plastered onto his lips, and he seems much more relaxed, much more carefree than before.

“Come on,” Ricky says. “Let’s go search for a ring.”

The two leave the coffee shop, making their way down the busy street. Ricky tells Jungwon about some of his modelling gigs, with Jungwon listening intently. “There’s a couple stores on this street,” Ricky says.

The first one the two boys go into has some nice rings — but Jungwon doesn’t think any of them particularly stand out to him, and none of them seem to suit you. There’s one that the shop assistant recommends to him, and Ricky thinks it’s a good choice, but Jungwon doesn’t want to get something that he knows you won’t love. The store also doesn’t sell pink diamond rings — Jungwon finds that he actually really likes Ricky’s suggestion.

“Thank you,” he tells the shop assistant politely. “I’ll just look around a couple other stores first.”

The second store has a couple good options. Ricky selects a few that he thinks looks nice, and thank god Jungwon decided to ask for Ricky’s help — he thinks that he’d be absolutely lost without him. There’s this one ring with a small pink diamond in the centre, and 2 other diamonds surrounding it. It looks nice, but Jungwon thinks that he would like for the pink diamond to be just a little bigger.

The third store is where Jungwon finds the perfect one.

He doesn’t even need Ricky’s help, either — he sees the ring in the display window, and Jungwon knows that it’s the one. There’s a round pink diamond in the centre, with smaller pink diamonds encircled around it, and then surrounded by white diamonds in a halo.

“Is that the one?” Ricky asks Jungwon, and he nods.

“I’ll take this one.”

“Of course, sir.” the shop assistant says, and Jungwon feels his heart beating faster than ever before. He’s bought the ring, he just needs a location, and… he just needs to pop the question.

“Are you nervous?” Ricky asks, and Jungwon nods — is he that jittery to the point where Ricky can tell? “Is it obvious?”

“I mean… to others, not really. But I’ve known you since high school, so yeah, it’s pretty obvious.” Ricky chuckles. “Look, you’ve got to relax. (Name) is going to say yes.”

“But what if she doesn’t? What if I’m rushing into things?”

“It’s been three years since you guys started dating. And (Name)’s crazily in love with you, I’ve told you this. Do you know how often Wonyoung tells me about how she gushes over you when they hangout? She loves you so much, Jungwon. Too much, even.” Jungwon feels a little less nervous after Ricky’s reassuring words, but that anxiousness comes back when the shop assistant returns.

“You can just pick up the ring next week. Are you in a hurry?”

“No, I’m not. Next week is perfect.” Jungwon replies.

“That’s good,” the shop assistant says. “We’ll see you next week then.”

Jungwon thanks them again, and he lets out a sigh. “I’m so scared.”

“You don’t have to be scared at all. She literally told you that she wanted to grow old and wrinkly with you — I think that’s very telling. Plus, your whole cherry blossom season thing. It’s so sickeningly cute. She will say yes. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Right, nothing to worry about. To more cherry blossom seasons with (Name).”

“As a married couple.” Ricky adds, and Jungwon laughs.

Little does Jungwon know, he does have something to worry about.

SEVENTEEN.

You don’t know what to do.

Your life is coming to an end, which means that you have to end it with Jungwon. You don’t want him to see you in hospital, with pale skin and an oxygen mask on.

Ever since you got told that your time would be cut short, once again, you’ve been racking your brain on how to break the news to Jungwon. You don’t want to let him go — but this is for the better, isn’t it?

You have cried so much during the past few weeks to the point where you’re not sure if you can even cry anymore.

You let yourself feel joy, happiness, and love when Jungwon is near — because you know that soon, all of those feelings will have to go away. You will never experience this type of love again when you end it with Jungwon.

You wake up earlier now, eyes scanning Jungwon’s features as he sleeps peacefully. You can’t help but smile when you look at him. He is so beautiful. So kind — everything you ever wanted and more. You brush his hair out of his eyes as you watch his chest rise and fall, rise and fall.

You want to burn the image of Jungwon’s face in your mind. Because after everything ends… you’ll never see him again.

“Good morning,” Jungwon says groggily, cracking one eye open. He notices you looking at him with the softest gaze in your eyes, and it brings a lovesick smile to his face. “You’re awake early.”

He kisses you good morning. You tell yourself to savour these small gestures while you still can.

Soon, you will never be able to see Jungwon again. Never be able to hold him, never be able to hug him, never be able to kiss him again.

You pull him closer to you, and Jungwon’s startled at your sudden action. “You’re clingy this morning,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You cup his cheeks with your hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. You kiss him with such longing, even though you two have not been separated yet. You kiss him like it’s the last time you ever will.

Jungwon senses that there’s something different. The kiss is passionate, like every other one of your kisses. But this kiss feels like an apology.

You try not to let that tear slip from your eye. “Are you okay?” Jungwon asks you, when you two pull away. You nod, as Jungwon runs his hand up and down your back. His touch is gentle as always, and you hate how all of this has to end.

“I love you.” you tell him, and Jungwon smiles softly at you. “I love you too, (Name).”

And you kiss him again. You want to kiss him as many times as you can, because you know that you don’t have that many chances left. You have less than a year left, and you know a good half of that time will be spent in the hospital, with an oxygen mask over your face.

Your relationship with Jungwon has gone too fast for your liking. Why couldn’t time go slower? Why couldn’t the universe give you more days, more months, more hours with Jungwon?

You have to tell him. You have to tell him sometime soon.

Would it be too cruel to tell him before the cherry blossom season?

Ending it then is too soon for you. Everything is too soon. Your relationship ending, your impending death, all too soon.

In a different life, perhaps things could be different. You wouldn’t be sick, and you and Jungwon could spend the rest of your lives together, until you two were both old, wrinkly and white-haired. You could spend 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons with him.

You two could get married. Have a ceremony like Chaewon and Soobin’s, invite all your friends, and your family. You two could start a family.

But none of that is possible.

Regardless, you are grateful for your time with Jungwon. Your little forever with him. 5 years is a short time for a forever, but you suppose it is one nevertheless.

He taught you what it’s like to love someone. Unconditionally.

Every second, every minute, every hour you spend with Jungwon by your side is something that you would consider magical. Perhaps maybe because you got so unlucky with your fate, the universe had sent him to you.

To make things better, before they got worse. To let you experience the one thing you thought you could never experience — love.

You didn’t expect to fall hard for Yang Jungwon. But it was easy to. With his bright smile, cat-like eyes and his heart of gold. He is too good to you. He is too good to everyone.

You can’t believe you never took much notice of him back in Grade 7, when Jungwon was already helplessly infatuated with you. You wished you had loved him earlier. You would’ve had more time with him, then.

More time to hold him, more time to kiss him, more time to love him. But now it is all too late, you are fading away, and he doesn’t know it.

You find that you are the luckiest person in the world, because you have had the privilege of being loved by Yang Jungwon.

The person he finds after you leave this earth, turning to nothing but stardust, will be exceptionally lucky too. Perhaps even more than you, because they get to spend that forever you never could have with Jungwon.

They get those 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons. They don’t need white wigs, because they will be able to grow old and wrinkly together. They will get their forever, a proper one, not one that lasts only 4 years.

That person should love Jungwon with their entire heart and soul. Because when Jungwon loves, he loves hard. He puts 110% into the relationship, maybe even more.

You smile at Jungwon once again, thumb stroking his cheek.

Yang Jungwon is your first love, and he will also be your last.

EIGHTEEN.

Your final cherry blossom season arrives.

A flurry of pink petals cascade down to the pavement, welcoming you with open arms. You smile, trying to stop yourself from thinking about how you don’t have much more time to see these magnificent flowers again.

You and Jungwon go see the cherry blossoms at night this time. They’ve installed lights around the trees, and you think seeing the cherry blossoms at night might be prettier than in the day.

You and Jungwon are the only ones here.

The park is quiet, and as you admire the beautiful cherry blossoms illuminated by the light, Jungwon nervously fiddles with the velvet box in his pocket.

Is this the right time?

He’s not exactly dressed for the occasion, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. You’re dressed similarly, but Jungwon thinks you’re gorgeous regardless of what you wear.

He takes the ring with him everywhere.

He doesn’t know when he knows it’ll be the right time — he supposes that he’ll just get that… feeling. Of knowing when it’s right.

“Jungwon, look! It’s so pretty.” you say, and he nods. “Very pretty,” he says, looking at you.

This time, you notice. He’s looking at you instead of the flowers. He always is. “What?” you ask, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze.

“Nothing,” Jungwon says, taking his hand out of his pocket. He leaves the box inside. “You’re pretty.”

Your heart would usually race at his words. But this time, it aches. It aches because you won’t be able to hear him say that everyday anymore. It aches because this is one of the last times where you’ll get to see the cherry blossom with Jungwon. It aches because everything is coming to an end.

All good things must come to an end, people say. But your end comes too soon, too quickly. Often, people can make good things last a little longer. They can hold on.

What can you hold onto to make things last?

Nothing. There is nothing.

You held out hope for a cure, but you don’t have much time left. You have no lifeline, nothing to save you. Nothing to make your relationship with Jungwon last, and nothing to make your life last.

“You are pretty too.” you tell him. You don’t know how many times you have left to tell him that.

Under the cherry blossom trees, illuminated by the lights, Jungwon pulls you in for a kiss. His lips are warm against yours, and you can taste the flavour of the cherry lip balm that he often uses. You sometimes steal it from him to use it yourself.

It is just you and him, nobody else around you both.

This is not how Jungwon had planned for the proposal to go. But he feels like… now would be a good time. That little voice in his head tells him — you should do it. He wants to do it. He wants to become your fiancée.

He has loved you since the 7th grade. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He’s known this ever since he kissed you for the first time.

You two pull away, and Jungwon looks at you with a hesitant look on his face. He looks like he’s dying to tell you something, and you look at him expectantly. He fiddles with something in his pocket, and you really hope he doesn’t do what you think he’s going to do.

“(Name), I… I have something to ask you.” You’ve never heard Jungwon this nervous. Even his voice is shaky — he sounds even more nervous than that day in the park, before you had collapsed.

He pulls out a small box. Your heart stops.

You can’t tell him no. You don’t want to tell him no.

But you have to.

You are dying — he wants to marry you, but you will die before a ceremony will be able to take place, before you two will be able to do things that married couples do, and before you two will be able to grow old and wrinkly together.

He gets down on one knee.

You try to not burst into tears before he says anything. You only look at him with your mouth agape, your heart shattered to pieces. How are you supposed to tell him?

“I… didn’t intend on doing this now,” he starts, letting out a deep breath. “But I feel… maybe this is the right time.”

“I love you. A lot. Being able to love you, and being able to be loved by you makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. And I just know that you’re the only person that I’ll be able to love — in this lifetime, and every single one that follows. So… would you marry me? Would you want to spend every cherry blossom season with me?”

You let the corners of your lips curl up into a grin. Jungwon wants to take that as a yes. You look at the ring — it’s beautiful, and you want nothing more than to say yes. Because you want to marry Yang Jungwon, you really do.

But there is not enough time.

“Won… I…”

You move closer to him, and Jungwon gets up. Is this a yes? He doesn’t know. You only wrap him in a hug, burying your face into the crook of his neck. Then, he hears you let out a soft sob, and he looks at you in alarm.

With his free hand, the one that’s not holding the ring, he runs his hand up and down your back to comfort you. “I’m sorry.” you choke out between sobs.

You look at the box — you don’t want to look at him. You know he’s got the most dejected look on his face, and you can’t bear the thought of knowing that you caused it. You take his hand, the one that’s holding the ring, and you close the box.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Won.”

Jungwon doesn’t understand. Maybe you weren’t ready to say yes yet. But he saw that smile on your face after — was there something you weren’t telling him?

“Don’t be sorry. I understand. We can take our time.” he says, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. It’s okay, he tells himself. Maybe just not now. Maybe later is a better time anyways.

“The thing is… we don’t have time.”

You accidentally let those words slip. You didn’t mean to tell him now — you look at Jungwon’s expression, and he looks at you with the most confused look on his face. “What do you mean we don’t have time?”

Are you going to break up with him? Jungwon hurriedly shoves the velvet box back in his pocket.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?” he asks you, and you shake your head, tears rolling down your cheeks — Jungwon wants nothing more than to wipe those tears away for you, but he doesn’t know if you want him to.

“No. You didn’t. You’ve made me the happiest person in the past few years.” you smile sadly at him, and Jungwon gets the feeling that you need to tell him something too. Something important.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“You’ve done nothing wrong. You never did anything wrong. It’s all my fault.” you say, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No, no — what makes you say that?”

“I’ve been lying to you. All this time.”

“What?”

“It’s an incurable disease.”

Jungwon’s entire world falls apart at the sound of those 4 words. What do you mean it’s incurable? Surely there is some sort of cure, some sort of treatment that can save you — with all the new technological advancements, something must be able to be done.

“So… I can’t… be with you.”

Jungwon’s world doesn’t just fall apart now. He feels like he’s falling apart too. The news is like a knife to his heart. He didn’t know that 6 words could leave him so broken — he’s surprised that he hasn’t fallen to his knees yet, or passed out.

He wishes that he would pass out. So then he’d wake up in the real world, and this would all be just a dream. You would wake up by his side, not sick and you two would be happily spending the rest of your lives together.

He pinches himself. It hurts. It’s real. Everything is real.

“I’m sorry, Won.” your heart hurts at the sight of Jungwon crying. You’ve never seen him cry before. Everything can’t end like this. “There must be something the doctors can do — Soobin. Soobin must know.” he says, shaking his head.

“He’s tried… he has tried for a very long time, Won. Nobody has lived past 10 years. I hoped that maybe I would be able to… but it looks like that it’s unlikely. Impossible, even.”

Jungwon doesn’t get it. Out of everyone who could’ve gotten this… terrible, terrible illness — it just had to be you. Now it all made sense as to why you were never in school, your initial refusal to accept his confession. You were scared.

“Why you?” he manages to choke out.

“I asked myself that a lot too. Why me? I don’t know, Won. 10 years seems like such a long time… but when it’s all you have left… it’s suddenly so short. I spent the first 5 years wallowing in self-pity, refusing to go outside and experience life. Then, I met you.” you let yourself smile, even though everything you’re saying is sad. Jungwon looks at you with tears in his eyes, and you step closer to him, taking his hand in yours.

“Everyday with you…was so much fun. I felt like I wasn’t dying, whenever you were around — it was just you and me, and that illness just seemed to disappear. Like it never existed in the first place. You… showed me what it’s like to really live. You taught me what it’s like to love, what it’s like to be loved — you brought meaning into my life.”

“But Jungwon… if I stay with you any longer, I’ll be too scared to die.”

And hearing those words makes Jungwon unable to hold in the sob he’s been suppressing. You can hear the pain in his voice, and this is exactly what you feared. Hurting him.

“I love you, (Name).” Jungwon manages to say, in between sobs. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I wish it was. I really wish it was.”

You wrap your arms around Jungwon, letting him sob into your shoulder. Everything hurts, for the both of you. Your hearts both feel empty.

“Thank you, Jungwon. For loving me, and letting me love you.”

“No,” Jungwon sobs. “This can’t end like this, (Name) — we had so much more to do. We had… we were supposed to have more time.”

“Jungwon, after I go, you’ll have to move on. I know that’s easier said than done but… I won’t be here. Go find someone new, someone who treats you just as well as you’ll treat them. Someone who loves Maeumi, someone who’s a terrific chef, just like you, someone who laughs at all your jokes. Go find the one for you.

“I don’t want to move on. You’re the one for me, (Name). I told you — you’re the only one I want to love. You’re the first person I’ve ever loved, and you’re going to be the last. Nobody can compare to you.” Jungwon doesn’t want to let you go. He can’t let you go.

“Jungwon, they’ll be able to give you everything that I never could. They can give you 30, 40, 50 more cherry blossom seasons — they can give you the life that you’ve always pictured having. They can give you a forever.”

“I don’t want a forever without you in it.”

You break apart from the hug to look at Jungwon with tears brimming in your eyes. “We have our forever. Our 4 years. Our little forever. It’s short, but we can call it a forever, can we not?”

You try your best to smile at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes. You hate that you’re the one making him this upset. You hate that you’ve just completely shattered his heart, and you’re leaving him to pick up the pieces all by himself.

“Our little forever.” He repeats after you, and you smile at him. “It should be longer. It shouldn’t have to be little — forevers aren’t meant to be little, (Name).”

“I know they aren’t.” Jungwon wraps you in his arms, your voice muffled by the soft fabric of his hoodie. He holds you tight, as if you’ll turn to dust if he lets go. “Ours just unfortunately has to be.”

“I am just a… small chapter in the story of your life. But I hope that I was a meaningful one. So please, Won. Go live.”

“I don’t want to,” You gently pat his back to comfort him — but you know it doesn’t work. Nothing can help stop you both from hurting. Jungwon has never sounded this broken. He is the type of person who wouldn’t ever show it if he was falling apart, and here he is, in front of you, legs weak, voice hoarse and his heart empty. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.”

“Please. I have to start preparing to die, Jungwon. Just tell me you’ll go live.” you tell him — you don’t want to start crying again, because then you won’t be able to leave.

You don’t want to leave, but you have to. With this illness draining the life out of you, there’s many things that you have to do even though you don’t want to do them at all.

Jungwon doesn’t say anything. His sobs are not an answer, and you know that.

“Please. It’s my last wish.” you murmur.

Jungwon knows he should fulfil your last wish. Even thinking about saying those words pains him. It drives the knife in his chest even deeper, and this pain consumes him — he can feel it in every inch of his body.

Jungwon lets out a shaky breath. “I… will go live.”

You smile at him, with such love and adoration in your eyes — Jungwon wants to just crumple to the floor. He can’t believe it’s all over. “Thank you.”

You tilt his head up with your finger so he can look at you, and his eyes are teary, and bloodshot. “I’m sorry.” This is hard on you too. But, you feel like it’s worse for Jungwon. He has to live with the fact that his first love left him like this – with no warning at all. You shouldn’t have ended it like this.

Then you press your lips to his, as a goodbye. The second your lips are on his, Jungwon knows that he doesn’t even want to pull apart. He kisses you with such urgency, now knowing that this is the very last time that he’ll ever get to feel your lips on his.

You kiss him back with the same urgency, the same feeling of desperation. The desire of wanting this moment to never end — because once it does, it is goodbye. Forever.

You are the one to pull away.

And now it is over.

You want to kiss him again. And over and over again. But you know that if you don’t walk away, you never will be able to.

“I love you, Jungwon. I’ll always love you.”

Walking away from Jungwon is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

You return back to your parents house, late at night. You haven’t been back here for ages, after moving in with Jungwon. Your parents are asleep, and you lock yourself in your room.

The park was filled with peaceful silence. You two walked around quietly, hand in hand. He had told you that he loved you in a hushed whisper. Your room is filled with a dreadful silence. You have no one to hold, no one to tell you that they loved you. You are alone, once again.

You just let go of the very best thing that has ever happened to you.

And you already regret it.

NINETEEN.

For the first time in 4 years, Jungwon wakes up without you by his side.

On instinct, he rolls around to kiss you good morning — but the other half of the bed is empty, and the bed is cold without your presence. The velvet box lies on his bedside table, and looking at it makes Jungwon remember the events of last night.

Him proposing. You telling him that you were dying. You saying that you couldn’t be with him anymore. The last kiss.

He buries his face in his pillow, trying to stop himself from crying. The tears threaten to spill past his cheeks, and the loss of your presence is greatly felt. He feels empty, as if there’s a part of him that’s been taken away.

It is probably his heart. With you leaving, you had taken his heart too. Not even just a little piece of it, the entire thing. Maybe he’s being dramatic, but he doesn’t think he has any desire to love again.

He understands why you didn’t tell him — you didn’t want him to be hurt. But Jungwon would rather have been told this in a different way. Being told that you were dying out of the blue, especially after he had poured his heart out to you while proposing, completely broke him.

His eyes are puffy and swollen from all the crying he did last night. Maeumi senses Jungwon’s sadness, and curls up in bed next to him, Jungwon stroking the dog’s fur as he sniffles, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“It’s just you and me now, Maeumi.”

Jungwon already misses you. He wants to run to your apartment, and tell you that he still wants to be by your side during your final months. But after last night, Jungwon thinks that you don’t want him to be there.

You don’t want him to see you in pain.

Your belongings are still in his apartment. Nothing has changed, most of the things that you own are still there. Jungwon gets up from the bed, and he opens the closet door.

The first item of clothing he sees is the green cardigan that you’d worn when you came to his house for the first time. Jungwon remembers seeing you that day, and you’d quite literally taken his breath away.

Jungwon takes the cardigan off the hanger, and holds it close to his chest. He should probably send these things back to you. Maeumi looks at him with sad eyes — Jungwon doesn’t even need to say anything, and his dog’s already noticed the change in his mood.

How is he supposed to just move on with his life, now knowing that yours is about to end?

No wonder why you always talked about the fragility of cherry blossoms, and how they never tended to last long. He now realised that you were talking about yourself.

From now on, all cherry blossoms will do is remind him of you. His first love, and the first one he lost. He wishes that he could freeze moments in time, just so he can get more time with you. 4 years was far too short.

He is no longer able to hear the sound of your laughter, no longer to see the bright smile on your lips, and no longer able to just simply look at you, admiring all of your features.

Jungwon puts the green cardigan on. It’s quite tight – it’s oversized on you, but it's a little small on him. It smells like you. He doesn’t want to stretch it out, so he’s careful when he moves.

The warmth of the cardigan makes Jungwon feel like you’re hugging him. Your arms wrapped right around his chest, and Jungwon allows himself to imagine that you’re here, holding him in your arms.

And he smiles.

Jungwon heads outside to the convenience store just for a little while. Ever since you had accepted his confession that day in the hospital, Jungwon’s never really spent a day without you by his side.

It feels strange, for you to not be there. But as he’s wearing your green cardigan, he feels your presence linger. He opens his mouth to speak, to ask you a question — but then he realises you’re not next to him. It’s just him now.

This is going to take some time to get used to.

He returns to his apartment with a plastic bag with instant ramyeon and a few snacks. He places the bag on the dining room table, and he notices your keys.

You came when he was at the convenience store.

Jungwon rushes into the room that you two used to share — did you take your things? Did you quietly pack everything up and go?

Everything seems untouched, at first glance.

Jungwon opens the closet doors, and you don’t seem to have taken much from your closet, maybe a few hoodies and some jeans. Everything else is still there.

This reminds Jungwon to take your cardigan off, and put it back on the hanger. He puts the hanger back onto the rack, and goes to grab the grey hoodie he wore the first time you had come over to his house.

He opens the drawer, and he sees a note. It’s written in your handwriting. I took one of your hoodies. I hope you don’t mind. Check the bedside table.

Jungwon digs through the drawer, and the hoodie isn’t anywhere to be found. He takes the note, grabbing the first hoodie from the pile, and closing the drawer.

There’s a small box on the bedside table. It looks a little too similar to the one that holds the engagement ring Jungwon had bought. He opens the box with a shaky breath, and inside is a ring.

There’s another note next to the box. For my one and only.

Jungwon wants to cry, but he thinks he cried so much last night to the point where he can’t cry anymore. He slides the ring onto his ring finger, and it fits. He tells himself to never take it off.

He should’ve given you the ring. Just for you to keep it. So you could have one too.

Jungwon crawls into bed again, hiding under the covers. He holds his hands close to his heart, his fingers fiddling with the ring he’s placed on his finger, perhaps in hopes that it’ll mend his broken heart.

It doesn’t work.

Jungwon thinks that he’ll just have to live with this heartbreak.

TWENTY.

If those white hospital walls felt familiar before, they feel like home now.

2 months after you end things with Jungwon, you’re moved into the hospital to prepare for your eventual death. You have to constantly wear an oxygen mask now, and Chaewon’s heart hurts at the sight of you like this.

You’re confined in his hospital room, occasionally taking a couple walks outside – but you spend most of your days in bed, writing.

You know that the book that you originally were planning to finish before you die won’t be finished in time, with your time being cut short to 4 years. So, you change your plans – you write something for Jungwon.

Chaewon visits you today. She sees you in your hospital bed, wearing Jungwon’s hoodie that you had taken from the apartment you two had shared. You wear the hoodie often, so often to the point where you had told her a couple days ago that the hoodie didn’t smell like Jungwon anymore.

“You seem busy,” Chaewon sits down on the chair next to your bed, and you take a small glance at her before returning your focus towards your laptop. “I take it the book’s making progress?”

“Slow progress, but progress nevertheless.” you tell her. “I don’t think that I have much time left, and I don’t think I’ll have much energy to even write soon. I’ve got to… finish this before I go.”

“You do know that Soobin’s still trying to come up with a solution, right?”

“What solution is there, Chae?” you sigh, and stop typing. “I have so little time left – the doctors had 10 years to make something work, and I’m still dying. It’s not going to happen, Chae. I wish there was, because maybe things would be different.”

Different, as in you wouldn’t be spending your days trapped in the hospital, mask over your lips. You would be happy, engaged, and with Jungwon. You could live a normal life, one where you didn’t have to go to the hospital for regular checkups, one where the thought of dying doesn’t linger in the back of your mind.

You look at Chaewon with a smile on your face. “So as much as I want things to be different... I know that my fate can’t be changed.” It is not like you haven’t lived happily – the last few years were filled with moments that you treasured dearly.

Chaewon doesn’t say anything, and you start typing once more.

“But don’t you want to see him?” she pipes up, and you stop. You slowly turn to look at her, letting out a deep breath.

“It’s not that simple.”

“You love him.”

“That’s exactly why it’s not simple.” you reply plainly.

“I can’t see him. Not when I’m like this. Look at me, Chaewon. I look like I’m dying. How would he react if he saw me like this?”

“He loves you. He wouldn’t care.”

“But it would hurt him.” you close the lid of your laptop, lying down in the bed. “I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have. It has been 2 months since I last saw him – he should be moving on with his life. If I see him… it will bring back memories. Staying away is the best… for both him and I.”

Chaewon can see it in your eyes. Staying away from Jungwon is hurting you, too. Not being able to see him, combined with your illness has drained all the life out of you. She doesn’t know how Jungwon is doing – she hasn’t had the courage to message him, after you broke up with him.

Jungwon hasn’t reached out either.

Chaewon understands why he wouldn’t. You broke up with him immediately after he proposed. If she was in Jungwon’s position, she would undoubtedly be very upset. But Chaewon also knows that Jungwon is understanding. You did tell her that you informed Jungwon about your illness, even though it was most definitely not a good time to say it.

“But you miss him, (Name).”

“I know. Sometimes I just want to grab my phone and message him like everything’s normal again. But I can’t, because it would make things more complicated than they have to be. He’ll cling on again, and I will too. I’ve given him too much false hope already, and I can’t hurt him again. I saw the way he looked at me that night after I told him that I was dying. I felt like I took everything away from him. His plans for the future all involved me – he told me that he didn’t want to spend his life with anyone else, Chae.”

“He wanted to marry you.”

“And I wanted to marry him. But… sometimes plans don’t work out. I wish ours did.”

The ring that you had placed on that nightstand was a purchase that you had made hastily. You went to the store, bought the nicest wedding band that you saw among their displays. You just wanted Jungwon to have something that reminded him of you.

You don’t mention in your note that you had bought a matching one for yourself. It sits on your ring finger, and you tell Chaewon that you’re never going to take it off.

“Maybe Soobin will come up with something,” Chaewon says. But who is she trying to fool? She’s seen Soobin go countless nights without sleep, just trying to research and find some way to keep you alive. She thinks she’s holding onto hope that doesn’t exist, and perhaps Soobin is too. “But, also, there’s something we need to do.”

Chaewon takes out a piece of folded paper from her pocket. It’s the bucket list that you two had created when you were younger, and she places it on the nightstand, smoothing out the creases on the paper.

She takes out a pencil, and hands it to you. “I guess we can check that box on the list now, can’t we?” she whispers, and you take the pencil.

Fall in love, the box reads.

You write the word hopelessly in brackets next to it, and Chaewon chuckles.

Then, you tick the box.

TWENTY ONE.

Three months later, Soobin wakes Chaewon up in the middle of the night.

“I found a way,” Soobin says, and Chaewon looks at him in disbelief. “I think… I really found a way. There’s no guarantee it will work… but we can try.”

Chaewon hugs Soobin so tight he thinks he might suffocate. “Thank you, Soobin.”

Soobin informs you and your family the next morning, and your mother lets out a loud sob. “You’re saying… that (Name) could live?” your mother asks.

“If the surgery works, then I believe so. I really hope so.” Soobin says, and he looks at you. He can’t read the expression on your face, but he hopes you react positively. You’re going to live. He knows that’s what you want.

“Does this mean… no more hospital visits? No more additional treatments, no more trials? I can live… normally?” you murmur.

“Well, you’d still need check-ups from time to time. But yes, if this entire thing works, you can live a normal life. You can see Jungwon again. He’s the lawyer, isn’t he?”

Chaewon nods. “Yes, he’s the lawyer.”

“So… what do you say? Are you up for the procedure?”

You have waited for so long. You know there’s no guarantee it’ll work, but it can’t hurt to try. The worst that could happen is that you’ll die, and even with no surgery, you’ll die anyways. At least with this procedure, it gives you a chance.

A chance for 30, 40, 50 more cherry blossom seasons.

You can see Jungwon again. You two can finish what you two started – you can say yes, this time. You two can get nicer wedding bands, and you two can spend every day together, until you’re both old and wrinkly.

“Yes. Let’s do it.”

Soobin smiles brightly at you. “Great. Let’s do it, then.”

It seems as if the universe has given you another chance at life. Like the cherry blossoms that return each spring, it seems like you will return for the next spring too.

“Are you going to tell Jungwon?” your sister asks you, and you pause. Should you tell Jungwon? Wouldn’t it be strange to message him out of the blue, after you had broken his heart five months ago?

“What would I say?”

“Turns out I’m going to live.” Chaewon shrugs, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Look, he loves you a lot. 5 months is a long time, but… you’re not too late.”

You could message him. But what if things don’t stay the same? What if he’s happier now, and with someone else? Wouldn’t you just ruin things for him if you suddenly came back into his life again and acted as if nothing was wrong?

“I don’t… I don’t think that I could do that.” you play with the ring that sits on your ring finger, and Chaewon sighs.

“It’s okay. Do what you feel is right, I suppose. But… I know that Jungwon holds a lot of love in his heart for you. I don’t think he would let go of his feelings for you so easily – he’s loved you since 7th grade. Do you know how long that is?” Chaewon asks, and you can’t help but smile.

“That is quite a long time.” you agree, and Chaewon nods.

“You can tell him after the surgery.” she says.

You think that might be a better idea. Because if you don’t survive the journey, you might give Jungwon more false hope. It would crush him even more if you had randomly messaged him, told him you were getting surgery in order to live, and not end up living anyways.

“I have to finish the book.” you suddenly remember. If the surgery is soon, and you don’t make it, you still want your story with Jungwon to be published. Minji had told you that Hajoon was good friends with someone who worked at a big-name publishing company, and could help you get it published.

You immediately open your laptop, and open up the document that you had been working on. With newfound motivation, the words just seem to come naturally onto the page. Chaewon watches as your fingers fly at a superhuman speed across the keyboard, and she smiles.

She really does hope that the surgery works. There are more boxes on that bucket list that have yet to be ticked off. Chaewon wants more time with you. She needs more time with you.

Perhaps she’ll finally be able to see you and Jungwon have your happily ever after. You could finally say yes to his proposal. She could watch you say “I do” at the altar. And you and Jungwon will get the life that you two had planned for yourselves. Your countless cherry blossom seasons, and your little forever does not need to be so little anymore.

She is glad that the universe is finally able to see that your early departure from this world would be a great loss. Finally, there is some way to keep you alive. Soobin has worked for years in order to find a solution, and she couldn’t be happier for you, but also him.

He’s worked tirelessly, and his hard work has paid off. He’s going to be able to save the lives of other people who are unfortunately suffering through the same illness as you are.

“(Name)?” Chaewon says, and you look up at her.

“I hope it works.”

You smile, nodding at your sister.

“I really hope it works too.”

TWENTY TWO.

Your surgery is in 2 days.

Wonyoung and Minji have visited you every day in the days leading up to your surgery, with the two of them bringing you your favourite foodw every time.

You manage to finish the book. It is quite short, but it details everything you want to say to Jungwon.

“Send it over to Hajoon, please? I hope that it’ll be published. If I do… end up passing… I hope that it becomes a success.” you tell Minji, who nods. She seems to be fighting the urge to cry, and you sigh. “Don’t cry, Minji. Maybe it’ll work.”

“It has to.” Minji says. “Things won’t be the same without you. It’s always been us 3. When you told us that you were dying… I was forced to start imagining what it’d be like with just the 2 of us… and even now, I don’t know what it’ll be like. But I know it’ll be very different.”

“Don’t think about that. Let’s think about what life will be like after the surgery works.” Wonyoung squeezes your hand.

“Also… send over a copy to Jungwon.”

“Oh. Of course,” Minji replies. “Have you spoken to him since the breakup?”

You shake your head. “I don’t know how he’s doing. And please… don’t tell him about the surgery. Because if it doesn’t work, then he’ll be more upset than before.”

Wonyoung looks down at her shoes, her hand still holding yours. “He misses you.”

You look at her with a surprised look on your face. “He does?”

The girl nods. “He misses you a lot. He’s… not doing so great. Ricky says that they meet up every now and then, and Jungwon never seems to be… okay. I’ve seen him a couple of times, and now that it’s just the 3 of us… it’s like there’s… someone missing. We meet at his house, sometimes. He often looks at the empty seat on his right. He sets up a plate and cutlery for that empty seat too – he’s saving it for you.”

Your heart hurts. You want to see him again. You want to fill up that empty seat, and then nothing will be missing. Things will be right, just like the way they were before.

Your friends carefully examine your features, and it is clear to both of them that you miss him too. You’re wearing his hoodie, and the box that Jungwon used to give you that white wig sits on your nightstand, near your bed. The camera that you used to record moments with Jungwon is placed close to the box – Minji and Wonyoung know that you want to keep items that remind you of Jungwon near you.

“It’s okay. You’ll see him soon.”

“Yeah. I will,” you try to not think about the highly likely possibility of you not surviving the surgery. “In a couple of months, maybe. I’ve still got to recover from the surgery.”

“We could ask him to come to the hospital to see you after you wake up,” Minji says, and you immediately shake your head. “No. I don’t want Jungwon to see me sick like this. When we were together, there was a reason why I booked my doctor’s appointments whenever he was busy. I’ll see him when I’m fully better, okay?”

Minji and Wonyoung look at each other, Wonyoung biting the inside of her cheek hesitantly. “Yeah. Okay, then.”

“You guys can go if you’re busy,” you tell your friends, and the two shake their heads. “We’re not going to go yet, (Name). We… want to stay with you for a little longer.” Minji says, her voice cracking slightly.

“Yeah. We’re always here for you,” Wonyoung smiles at you. “We’ve been friends since we were little. We’re not going to… let you go this quickly.”

“And if this whole thing doesn’t work, I’ll be watching you two from up there.”

Your words make Minji and Wonyoung go silent. As your surgery date gets closer and closer, reality hits them like a ton of bricks – they’ve known that you would go earlier than either of them, but now knowing the possibility of this moment being the last they ever share with you is terrifying.

Nobody is ready to see you leave. You don’t think you’re quite ready either.

“Don’t say that, (Name).” Minji is the first one to break the silence. “The surgery could work. Soobin’s very good at what he does. You could live, and then when we’re old, we can all retire and live in a small village. Like we planned.”

“Yes. Just like we planned.” you say, staring up at the ceiling.

Wonyoung and Minji stay until the hospital staff tell them that they have to leave. They bid you goodbye with tears in their eyes, the two of them hugging you tightly, not wanting to let go.

As she’s heading to leave, Minji stops in her tracks and turns around. “I’ll see you in 2 days, (Name).”

You rest your head against your pillow, and you sigh. In 2 days, you would either die, or you would learn that you would be able to live.

You hold your hands close to your chest, fiddling with the ring on your finger.

Then, you close your eyes.

TWENTY THREE.

At night, I’m afraid to close my eyes.

I can’t forget. I can’t forget you.

Jungwon’s eyes scan the page, tears falling onto the paper. He wipes the tears rolling down his cheeks away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

Hey, Jungwon.

I lived a happy life. It might’ve been shorter than others, but when I met you, and was loved dearly by you, I thought – I was definitely alive. So, I’ve done enough in this lifetime, right?

When you proposed, I wanted to say yes. If this illness didn’t plague me, believe me – I would’ve told you yes in a heartbeat. I wish I didn’t end things that way. I wish things didn’t have to end.

I want to see you, Jungwon.

I want to see you so bad, Jungwon.

Wonyoung looks at Jungwon helplessly – sobs racking his body. She reaches a hand out to comfort him, patting him on the shoulder gently. But it is no use.

I’ll be watching you from above, Jungwon. I’ll make the cherry blossom seasons more beautiful than the last every time they come. I’ll paint you the prettiest rainbows in the sky.

Go on and live happily, my love.

Hey, Jungwon?

I love you.

He turns the page, and he finds that there’s nothing left. He looks at Wonyoung, bloodshot eyes and tears staining his cheeks. “That’s it? That’s all?”

Wonyoung simply nods. Jungwon doesn’t know that today is the day of your surgery, and she is equally as worried. The poor girl is trying not to break herself, and seeing Jungwon so distraught makes her feel the need to fight back the tears stinging her eyes.

“Is there anything else she said? Anything else I should know? Please, Wonyoung. Tell me.” Jungwon is desperate to just simply know how you are doing. He wants to know anything – it doesn’t even have to be anything important. A simple ‘fine’ would suffice. It has been months, but Jungwon knows that the wound over his heart is nowhere near healed.

It still hurts, and it still stings.

All day, and all night all he does is think about you. He wakes up, without you by his side – and he just feels empty. Sometimes, it affects him at work too – his colleagues notice that he’s “a little out of it”, saying that he doesn’t seem to be as focused as before. Something at home must’ve affected him pretty badly, is the gossip around the office.

Everyone around him has noticed that he is not the same person he was before – maybe even just simply a shell of his previous self.

He rarely smiles now. When he does, they seem forced. He always looks tired, dark eye bags under his eyes. Jungwon knows he should live happily, for you – but it is hard. It is a struggle.

“She is… doing okay.”

“Can I see her?”

“She… doesn’t want you to see her in a state like this. I’m sorry, Jungwon,” Wonyoung looks down at her shoes uncomfortably. “And she fears that if she sees you… she’ll be too scared to go.”

“Is there anything else?”

Jungwon fiddles with the ring you had left on the nightstand. Wonyoung somehow just realises that this ring matches with the one that you have on your finger. The one you never take off.

“Who gave you that?” Wonyoung asks curiously, gesturing towards the ring. Jungwon looks at it with a sad smile. “(Name). The day after we ended things.”

“That’s interesting. (Name) has a matching one.” Wonyoung tells him, and Jungwon’s features soften. “Really?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Wonyoung nods. “I think… she might’ve gotten them to show her commitment towards you. You are her first and last love, Jungwon. You mean a great deal to her. She still loves you.”

“And I still love her,” Jungwon sighs. “It has been months. (Name) has asked me to move on – and I am trying. Because she told me it was her last wish, but it seems… impossible to fulfil. How am I supposed to get over her?”

Wonyoung has to tell herself that she can’t inform Jungwon about your surgery. As of right now, you’re probably in the operating room right now. She taps her foot on the marble floor anxiously – she really, really hopes that it will be a success. “You can… take your time. I understand it is hard.”

“Not just hard, Wonyoung. Impossible.” Jungwon says. He flips back to the first page of the short book that you had left him, and starts reading it from start to finish.

It details almost every single moment of your relationship, and Jungwon’s heart warms at the fact that you remember every little detail.

Slowly but surely, every little thing started to remind me of you. Grey hoodies, the smell of fresh linen, small white dogs, and black beanies. Cherry flavoured lip balm, silver small hoop earrings, and stickers of Tamama. Black and white flannel shirts, expensive lego sets, and Mom is An Alien ice cream.

But then I realised, everything started to remind me of you, because I found that I was always searching for something that reminded me of you.

Somehow, you slowly made your way into my heart when I thought I had kept it sealed shut. I don’t know how you did it, but I am so grateful you did.

“You’ll be okay, Jungwon.” Wonyoung watches him wipe his tears away once more. She takes out a packet of tissues from her purse, sliding it to him on the table. “I don’t know. Maybe. Thank you for the tissues, Wonyoung.” he says, taking out a tissue.

He wipes his tears away, but they keep falling.

“It’s okay, Jungwon. Just let it all out.” she says, patting his shoulder gently.

Wonyoung nervously glances at her phone, waiting for any sort of news from your family to see whether or not the surgery was a success.

She needs you alive. Jungwon needs you alive.

Everyone you know needs you alive.

TWENTY FOUR.

“We just need her to wake up.”

That is the first thing you hear when you wake up.

You crack one eye open, and you feel the warmth of Chaewon’s hand in yours. You hear the nervous tapping of her shoes on the hospital floor, you hear the beeps of the machines you’re hooked up to, and you hear the chatter from your parents and Soobin in your room.

“Please, (Name). Wake up. Please.” Chaewon murmurs, and you lightly squeeze her hand.

Chaewon immediately notices. “(Name)?” She looks at you in awe, as you stare at her, mustering up a smile. You’re tired, probably because you just woke up from surgery – but you’re alive.

You’re alive. You’re not with the stars yet. You’re here, on Earth.

“She’s alive. She’s alive, Soobin!” Chaewon gasps, and Soobin immediately runs over to you. “(Name). (Name)! Oh my god. It worked. It worked.” he says, and he wraps Chaewon in a huge hug. The two of them are crying, and you smile weakly at them.

“You did it, Soobin. You saved my sister.” Chaewon sobs, and you look towards your parents, who must be in shock. Your father and mother are both sitting there shock-still, mouth agape. “Uncle, Auntie. She’s alive. (Name) made it. She’s going to live.”

Then, your mother lets out the loudest sob. You think that everyone in the hospital is able to hear it.

“Oh my god, (Name).” your mother says, running over to you. She grabs your hand, holding it tightly. You’re too tired to say anything, so you just simply smile at her. You would wave, if she wasn’t grabbing your hands like her life depended on it.

“How are you feeling?” Chaewon asks.

Your mother lets go of your hands so you can give them a thumbs up. “She’s probably very tired, right now. We should let her sleep for a little bit.” Soobin tells your parents. He offers them some coffee at the cafe, to which they accept.

Before he leaves the room, Soobin gives you a soft smile. “See? Your brother in law did it.”

Chaewon can’t help but look at him with adoration as he leaves. She squeezes your hands tightly, maybe even tighter than your mother did. “I told you not to give up hope. You’re alive. You get more time here.”

You do get more time here. More time with your friends, more time with your family.

You get more time with Jungwon.

“Oh my god. We have to tell Jungwon, don’t we?” Chaewon says, and you grab her arm to stop her from getting her phone. You shake your head, telling her not now. Maybe in a bit.

“Why?”

You wave your hand to tell her that you’ll explain later, when you’ve regained enough energy to talk. You close your eyes, letting yourself drift away into a deep slumber.

And for the first time, you’re not scared to close your eyes anymore.

Your fear was forgetting about Jungwon once you passed away, and were in the stars. But now you don’t have to worry about that anymore, because you’re alive.

The universe had decided that it wanted you to stay for longer. That you deserved more time. And even though you’re still hooked up to these machines, you know that soon enough, after you’ve made much more progress with your recovery, the white walls in the hospital will become much less familiar than before.

You can go home. Back to Jungwon.

You finally get your normal life. Where you don’t have to worry about dying until much, much later. Where you can just stay in the moment, cherishing every single second, minute, and hour.

You get to see more of those beautiful pink blossoms that you adore.

Soobin had done the impossible — he had cured what was thought to be an incurable illness. Chaewon is eternally grateful to him for that.

“We can finally check off that bucket list, (Name).” Chaewon says, softly sobbing. “Every box will be ticked.”

Soobin enters the hospital room with a cup of coffee, only to see Chaewon crying, and he quickly places the coffee down on the nightstand. “Chae, don’t cry.” he grabs a tissue from the tissue box, wiping her tears away.

“She’s alive.” Soobin says. “Yes. She’s alive. I didn’t think I’d get more time with her,” she cries, and Soobin holds her tightly. “Thank you for saving her, my love.”

“I’m glad I was able to.”

“Does Jungwon know?” Soobin asks, and Chaewon shakes her head, wiping her tears away with the tissue. “She doesn’t want him to know yet.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I think she thinks that it’s her way of keeping him away from suffering more pain because of her.” Chaewon replies. She really wishes that you’ll just…. tell Jungwon. But then again, she doesn’t know what it’s like to go through something like this. She can’t claim to understand, and she won’t either.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait, right?”

TWENTY FIVE.

Your recovery goes well.

It’s been 4 months since your surgery, and Minji and Wonyoung haven’t told Jungwon that you’re alive yet. The boy still thinks you’re dead, according to Ricky.

For the first time after the surgery, you go out and see the cherry blossoms. This time, you go at night.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Chaewon asks, and you shake your head. “I’m okay, Chae. I can handle myself.”

You’re wearing Jungwon’s grey hoodie, and a pair of black sweatpants. You’re dressed exactly like how he usually is, and you stuff your wallet and keys into the front pocket of the hoodie before you leave the house.

It’s colder tonight, the cold air nipping at your skin. You head towards the park where Jungwon had proposed to you. It’s a little further from your apartment now, because you had moved out of Jungwon’s place.

You don’t know why, but you feel like you might see him here tonight.

You arrive, and the cherry blossoms are illuminated by the lights hung around the trees, just like the night Jungwon had proposed.

You take a deep breath in, taking in the fresh air. You’re alive.

You walk around the park, smiling to yourself. The smell of the cherry blossoms waft through the air, and oh, you’ve missed this. The only thing that’s missing is Jungwon by your side.

“I wonder how you’re doing,” you murmur to yourself. You act like Jungwon’s able to hear you, even though you know he isn’t.

“Are you eating well? Are you sleeping well? How is your family? What about Maeumi?” you have tons of questions for him.

“I survived,” you whisper. “Soobin finally found a way. I got the surgery, and my recovery is going well. I’m not in pain anymore, and I don’t have to take as much medicine. I didn’t give up hope.”

“We can finally have our forever, if you’re willing. I know I am.”

His apartment isn't far from here. Maybe you could walk there, and talk to him. But that’s probably not such a good idea. It’s the middle of the night, and he would most definitely be startled.

The possibility that he’s moved on already also lingers in the back of your mind. You can only hope that what Wonyoung told you about him missing you is true, because then, you truly wouldn’t know what to do.

Or perhaps you should simply stay away. Wouldn’t coming back to him make things more complicated?

Chaewon’s voice rings in your head. But he loves you.

What if he doesn’t anymore?

Terrible thoughts like these run rampant in your mind, and you tell yourself to stop thinking so negatively. You are alive. Your time is not going to expire anytime soon, anymore. You have time to mend things, if he is willing to.

You really hope he is willing to.

You don’t know that Jungwon is also looking at the cherry blossoms too.

Except, he is at a different park.

He is at the one closer to your house, the one where you two had met for the first time. He brings the ring with him — this is the first cherry blossom season he’s spent alone after you had left.

“I miss you,” he says to the trees. He acts as if they are you. “Is it comfortable up there? Are you happy?”

“I got a promotion, by the way. Apparently, the last few years of my hard work really paid off. Oh, Ricky and Wonyoung got engaged, if you didn’t know that. I’m very happy for them.”

“Wonyoung told me that the ring you left had a matching one that you wore. That’s very sweet of you. I… never really take this one off. I’m trying to move on, but… it’s very hard. Please forgive me if I need some time. Much more time.”

“I read your book to me, by the way. Hajoon says his friend published it, and it’s a big hit. I bought a copy of it for myself, too.”

As a fully intact flower floats to the floor, Jungwon picks it up. He smiles at it, and tucks it behind his ear like you did. “I love you, (Name). I’ll go to the park where we met tomorrow. It will be a Saturday. I have time.”

Jungwon walks back home, cherry blossom still tucked behind his ear. If people saw him like this, they might think he’s a little silly — but Jungwon doesn’t care. Nobody knows how much it means to him. Jungwon tells himself to go press the flower in a little book when he gets home, so he can preserve it.

He passes by the park where he proposed to you, and where you had ended things. He sees a figure wandering around the park wearing a big hoodie, just like he is, and he furrows his eyebrows. Perhaps that person likes seeing the cherry blossoms at night too. It is rather pretty, with the LED lights illuminating the pink flowers.

He heads back to his apartment, thinking nothing of it.

He doesn’t realise that the person is you.

And as you return back to your apartment too, you also don’t realise that Jungwon had walked right past you.

TWENTY SIX.

True to his word, Jungwon returns to that park on Saturday.

This time, he’s walking Maeumi. It’s a good day today, the birds are chirping and there’s not a single cloud in the sky.

Jungwon sees a lot of couples walking around in the park. That would’ve been you and him, if you were still here. He looks up at the sky again. Maybe you’re watching him from up there. He hopes that you are.

He can’t help but admit that he does feel the slightest bit of jealousy watching those couples walk around hand in hand.

But he tells himself it’s okay. You wouldn’t want him to dwell on things like this.

Just like the day he met you for the first time after high school ended, there’s a peaceful quietness as he wanders around the park. The cherry blossoms this year are as beautiful as ever, and Jungwon knows that you’d just simply adore them if you were here to witness it.

“She’d love these, wouldn’t she, Maeumi?” he asks his dog.

Jungwon looks for any flowers that might’ve floated to the pavement, fully intact.

He can’t seem to find any, so he decides to wander off to another part of the park. It is pretty big, which is why a lot of couples come here for picnics during the cherry blossom season. He did that with you when you two were dating.

But then Maeumi barks, and runs off. “Woah, Maeumi — what’s going on?” Jungwon follows his dog, sighing. “Maeumi, seriously, don’t run off—!”

He stops in his tracks when he sees Maeumi run up to you. Just like the first time he saw you again after high school.

But there’s no way that’s you — because you’re dead. But then you look at him, and your eyes tell him everything. You look at him with love shining bright in your eyes, and oh, Jungwon’s missed seeing that look in your eyes. He’s missed seeing you.

Jungwon must be dreaming. Or, either you’re a ghost — but Jungwon doesn’t really believe in ghosts, so perhaps he’s just dreaming. He pinches himself to the point it hurts, so he knows that this isn’t just a dream.

“Jungwon,” you breathe out.

Your voice is like the most wonderful piece of music to his ears. Tears sting his eyes — Jungwon has been crying a lot recently, but these ones aren’t sad tears. They’re happy tears.

“(Name)? But.. you…” Jungwon can’t believe his eyes. You’re actually here. You didn’t die. But why did Wonyoung keep this a secret from him? And why didn’t you call?

“I’m alive. I know… it’s shocking.”

“Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you say anything — how?” he asks, in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” you say, stepping closer to him. “I… didn’t want you to see me sick. But… I’m alive now. And… I got surgery. Soobin cured my illness.”

Jungwon just wraps you in a huge hug, and he starts sobbing uncontrollably. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you so badly it hurt, Jungwon. I never wanted to leave you — I… wanted that forever.”

You look at Jungwon with tears in your eyes. “You’re not over me, are you?”

Jungwon shakes his head with a small smile. “You know that I’d never get over you. Like I said… you’re the only one for me, (Name). Every day I’ve spent without you, I’ve still been thinking about you, dreaming about you. I’ve loved you since the 7th grade — I can’t let someone like you go so easily.”

Jungwon feels that wound over his heart start to mend. You are here — you are alive, and that is all that matters to him. You have always been the one for him, and now knowing that he can indeed spend his forever with you fills him with so much joy he feels like he could just explode.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting surgery?” he asks, taking a hold of your hands.

“I couldn’t let you see me in that state. And there was no guarantee that it would work, and I didn’t want to give you any false hope that I would survive. Throughout our relationship I had already given you too much false hope. I’m really, really sorry about that. I just… can’t stand seeing you upset. And I know ending things like that must’ve been… so, excruciatingly painful. I’m so sorry, Jungwon.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now.” he says. “We have time to… mend things, right?”

“All the time in the world,” you affirm, a soft smile on your lips. “Of course, I will have the occasional check-up, and I’ll still be on some medication, but… no more hospital beds and machinery hooked up to my body so often.”

“We can take things slow, Won. There’s no pressure. No clocks ticking. Just me and you. Oh, and I can’t forget about Maeumi.” you ruffle the dog’s fur, and even Maeumi seems overjoyed at your return.

Jungwon can’t help but smile at you like an idiot. “What?” you ask, mirroring the look on his face.

“Nothing. I just can’t believe you’re actually here.” he says, and as he holds your hands, he feels the ring on your finger. He looks at it, and his smile gets even wider.

He brings your hand up to his lips, and kisses the ring. “You know, I never took mine off.” he says, showing you his hand.

“I never took mine off either,” you say. “I never wanted to.”

Suddenly, everything is alright. Jungwon finds himself smiling again, and he finds that his gloomy mood has just disappeared, all because you’ve returned. Those 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons will undoubtedly be shared with you. Your little forever suddenly does not become so little after all — the universe has given you much, much more time. Now, it is simply a forever.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungwon asks, and you nod. “Of course you can, Won.”

And when he leans in, everything just feels right again. The cherry blossoms float in the air behind you, falling to the pavement. The chatter around you two is drowned out — it’s just you and him again, and nobody else. As if you two are in your little bubble. He still uses that cherry flavoured chapstick, you realise.

He kisses you with such longing, and you do too. You have missed this, the feeling of his lips on yours. When you pull away, there’s a big, goofy grin on Jungwon’s face. “One more.”

You know this trick. But you let him trick you anyway.

Jungwon kisses you over and over again under the cherry blossom trees, your hearts both so full to the point you think it might burst at the seams.

You think your second romance with Jungwon will make you fall harder than the first time. The universe gives you two another chance, and you are nothing but grateful.

You have time now.

And as you return to Jungwon’s apartment, the place you call home, you smile brightly at him.

Aside from transience and ephemerality, cherry blossoms also signify a rebirth. In this case, a rebirth of your romance with Jungwon. A new start, perhaps.

You both can finally live the life that you both pictured having.

So, when he pops the question again, this time, you know you won’t hesitate to say yes.

#enhanet #kflixnet #k labels #hyfenet #enhypen oneshots #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen au #jungwon oneshots #jungwon imagines #jungwon scenarios #jungwon angst #jungwon fluff #jungwon x reader #jungwon au #haru yo koi — yjw! 🌸

2K notes · View notes

goldenhypen · 11 months

Text

; ⎯ i like you fr .

synopsis. you hate yang jungwon, so what’s this weird, tingly sensation erupting in your stomach whenever he’s around?

pairing. jungwon x fem!reader ⋅ genres. enemies to lovers, slight angst, fluff ⋅ wc. 1k ⋅ warnings. contains a tiny bit of crying on y/n’s end (she thinks jungwon is leaving)

prompt 1. holding their hands when they are shaking ⋅ requested ⋅ dark blood event

a/n. somehow got a little carried away w this one but who’s complaining ,,, also it’s not specified, but for the sake of this story let’s pretend that y/n and jungwon maybe know each other from school or smth and were like academic rivals,, yas academic rivals mhm mhm :D but i mean if that’s not your style, by all means, use your imagination. that’s what these are all about anyway :’> ,,,,, yall i’m so delulu help :’>

“why are you in such a crappy mood today?” jungwon pestered you with that maddening voice of his.

you had enough!—or at least that’s what was on your mind all these years, until last night when you heard the news that jungwon would be moving away… it seemed people were right when they said you don’t fully understand the value of something until it’s out of your hands.

that’s how you were feeling about jungwon at this moment. but why? it’s not like he was ever yours in the first place. and you two were rivals!

yeah, no, why would you ever miss that icky little brat?!

“shut up!”

“geez, no need to be so aggressive and snappy,” he uttered, annoyed.

you turned away so that your back was facing him before immediately walking away as you felt tears threaten your eyes.

“where are you going?” he just had to continue talking to you.

“nowhere, won,” you answered frustratingly, doing your best to fight your wobbly voice and not let him come aware of your vulnerable state.

you heard as his footsteps followed you from behind in a rushed rhythm.

he grabbed your wrist from behind, stopping you in your tracks and turning you around with a swift yet gentle pull.

with your hand nearly in his, he noticed how your body shook slightly and how watery your eyes were now.

“hey,” his tone—and entire presence at that—calmed and softened, “what’s wrong?”

if you were being honest, you had never seen this side of him, at least not with him this close and personal with you. it felt foreign, yet for some reason, so right.

this was everything you could have ever wished for—but only ever in your imagination, definitely not in real life.

you had spent so much of your life hating jungwon that you didn’t realize how much you actually valued him. you realized, you might actually miss yang jungwon.

“y/n,” his softness snapped you back to reality, “why are you crying?”

“it’s nothing,” you brushed him off, reeling your hand back and out of his grasp and wiping a fallen tear on your cheek.

“seriously, what’s wrong?” he asked, now frowning with you, and for once, not in a mocking manner, but one filled with care and attention.

“i—this is gonna sound stupid,” you laughed ridiculously, shaking your head.

“it’s fine, just say it.”

“no, i—”

“y/n, what is it?”

you paused for a few brief seconds before continuing, “you’re leaving soon right?”

“what do you mean? no, i don’t have anything right now or after this. why?”

“no, i mean, you’re leaving leaving,” you attempted to clarify. “like, leaving the country.”

tears pricked your eyes again, and you turned away for a moment to quickly compose yourself.

“hm?” you heard emit from him, causing you to face him again before realization hit, “ah! wait, you’re sad about that? i thought you’d be the one rejoicing the most at the news.”

he chuckled, but you just stood there looking at him without a change in expression.

“why are you even sad?” he asked. “it’ll only be for a couple of months anyway. ah, or are you sad that you only get a break from me for a couple months?”

at his playful remark, you stared at him confused.

“what do you mean? you’re not moving away?” you questioned.

“moving away? where did you get that information from?”

you shrugged.

“i’m going on tour, y/n!” he told you, excitement in his voice, a sound that somehow fed your heart with happiness.

your mouth opened, forming a shape resembling a small circle in realization.

“ah, i see!” you smiled, feigning joy, “right! tour! that’s great, won. ‘kay, see you around!”

at your terrible attempt at brushing off the embarrassing situation, of course jungwon had to prolong the moment and stop you from leaving again.

“where are you going?” he laughed. “i’m not done talking yet.”

you groaned, stopping in your tracks and turning around with a wide, forced grin.

“why were you sad that i was leaving?” he asked, taking a step closer to you.

“i wasn’t,” you denied, and he moved again, making the gap between your bodies almost non existent. you gulped, “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

he brought a hand to your chin, lifting it and forcing your eyes to meet his powerful gaze. but you held up stronger, not daring to let him know how weak he made you feel inside. you could crumble to your knees at the way his unusual yet bold actions had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

his eyes transferred to your lips, causing you to do the same as you watched his next moves and the words leave his mouth.

“do you like me, y/n?”

and all that came to your mind at his words were the next ones that left your lips.

“kiss me and find out.”

you don’t know where the sudden boldness came from, but you weren’t at all complaining as what he did next made it all worthwhile.

all within the next second, he pulled you closer, with his hand moving to your jaw, leaning in, and meeting you in the middle for a kiss you could only imagine in your dreams. but now, this time was real life.

sure, he’d be leaving to tour the world in a few months, but as long as he wasn’t going to be leaving your life permanently, you were willing to work through any challenges you may face in this new relationship of yours. after all, you two managed to break through the whole “enemy barrier” between you both after all these years. you could only imagine what more the future had in store.

a/n. thanks for reading :> ,,, y’all i’m sorry but if i’m being totally real, i’m feeling a little bit unmotivated and my confidence is fading a bit recently,,, when i say reblogs, comments, etc make a huge difference, i mean it :( the ratios of reblogs + replies to likes lately are quite saddening to see. this is not to say i’m at all ungrateful for all the support in general and throughout time, but seeing these ratios for so long is making me lose confidence. there’s just something that leaves me feeling uneasy about the fact that most readers are just consumers and don’t do anything to show appreciation or let us know that our work is good and that we should even keep going. obviously as readers you aren’t obliged to, but validation is really important for us artists as we create and share our work to the world. unfortunately that’s just how it is, and you can see that with all your favourite writers that have left over time. it just takes a quick moment to send some words of appreciation. and i’m not just asking this for me, but for the writers you love. it truly makes that much of a difference and really keeps us going :( thanks everyone <3

event masterlist.

taglist 1 (taglist 2 open). @raimbows4u @beibybtch @sultrybaby @kpop-nct @beans-and-jeanes @enhacolor @enhasfever @nokacchan @yizhoutv @xiaoderrrr @soobin-chois @tyunni @shinsou-rii @liikno @softkpopplace @belle643 @nar-nia @pshchives @sunjakes @ethereal-engene @yeosayang @koishua @4ri-ki @sunoksunny @jaeyunjakesim @tnyhees @enaus @hoes4hoseok @palajae @clarakyunisageek @annoyingbitch83 @4vonly @wonswondrland @rcrystallocks @stepout-09-15 @zeraaax @ktttwwn @pistachiophobia @svnoofy @sweetjaemss @vatterie @mnsnts @chacottone @yeseoist @azurez @milisabunny @wonniestars @rikislady @kazmura

1K notes · View notes

gyuuberryy · 4 months

Text

fight for my way!

pairing: best friend’s brother!heeseung x martial artist!reader x bff!jungwon, ft lee chaeyeon as your best friend

summary: you’ve harboured a huge crush on your bff’s brother, heeseung for quite a bit. each encounter with him has you stuttering and blushing like a mess much to the dismay of your best friend, jungwon. it’s summer vacation, but unfortunately you won’t have the time to relax as you battle with your newfound feelings instead of kicking someone’s ass in training for taekwondo. you certainly did not sign up for this

genre: f2l, best friend’s brother trope, crack??, coming of age, jungwon and mc practice taekwondo

warnings: making out, fighting, angst, fluff, swearing, mc beats up someone, mentions of blood, mc is super embarrassing and a major simp teehee, flirty heeseung(as always), i know nothing about taekwondo so please excuse me if i made any mistakes related to it

note: nothing based off the drama ahaha. this was originally a txt fic, now republished as an enha one(it's edited). i wrote this like a year ago and idk why but some parts of it give off disney movie vibes💀 enjoy!!!

word count: 8.1kish

If you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

you knew it’s wrong to simp over your friends, but you couldn’t help it.

since when did yang jungwon get so hot?

you hadn’t even worn your dobok yet and you were already sweating just looking at him box with that punching bag. his arm muscles flexed and rippled deliciously, and his face which was contorted into a focused expression, glimmered under the studio lights due to the layer of sheen sweat that coated his body. a drop rolled down the bridge of his nose and was about to land on his lips when he stopped and wiped it off. the sudden change in movement brought you out of your daydream and you mentally punched yourself for drooling over one of your best friends.

you need to stop simping over anyone who is even the slightest bit hot.

slinging your bag over your shoulder, you walked towards the locker room to get changed. shuffling through your belongings, you tried to find the plastic in which you had kept your dobok, when you were startled by the feeling of someone's hand on your back. you looked behind to see your best friend chaeyeon grinning at you.

“you’re a bit early today.”, she stated.

“yeah, my mom kicked me out of the house at six in the morning.” you sighed, “i was wandering around till class started.”

chaeyeon patted your shoulder sympathetically. ever since the summer holidays for your senior year had started, your mom had been making sure you didn’t laze around the house and be productive everyday. this was the last year for your taekwondo training and then you would finally receive your black belt. so, your mom felt it was important for you to go for training.

every. single. day.

honestly, you were a bit pissed in the beginning because you couldn’t join the rest of your school friends on their month long trip to kyoto. but, jungwon and chaeyeon were staying back as well for their training, so it wasn’t that bad.

you wore the white jacket on top of your t-shirt and slipped your belt through the white loops. your pants were almost up your calves when chaeyeon spoke again.

“do you wanna come over to my house in the evening? we should get started on our physics project.

you jumped in excitement at her offer, “is your brother gonna be there?”

chaeyeon slapped your arm, “why does that matter? we have to do our work, i’m not going to sit there and watch you fangirl over him.”

ah yes, chaeyeon's brother, lee heeseung.

the man you were absolutely smitten with.

the perfect, handsome, smart and talented golden boy of the school.

your crush of three years.

and lately, it felt like he was reciprocating your feelings as well because he had started flirting with you back. you didn’t care if you were being delusional, you would take any chance to interact with him, which is why you were always ecstatic to visit chaeyeon’s house.

“just tell me please”, you dragged out your sentence in a whiny voice, making chaeyeon hiss at the annoying sound.

“okay okay, he’s going to be there. he has nothing to do this week.”

you squealed and pumped your fist in the air. chaeyeon just rolled her eyes at your actions and pulled you out of the locker room to join the training.

you lay spread eagle on the blue foam mat. your arms felt like wet, heavy ham and the muscles in your thighs felt like they were stretched to the maximum. you really shouldn’t have skipped your warm up, but you had no idea how rigorous today’s training would be. your coach was hellbent on making sure you perfected your double roundhouse kick and only let you take a break when you got the hang of it. these were probably the most tiring four hours of your life.

suddenly, a handsome face came into your view as the person loomed over your body and blocked the light, making you jolt up. after getting a closer look you realised it was just your best friend, jungwon. you stomped on his feet out of annoyance.

“you startled me man.”

“i thought you fell asleep”, he huffed at your actions “let’s go home now, my stomach is gonna digest itself if i don’t feed it anything soon.”

you rolled your eyes at his exaggeration and went towards the locker room to get your belongings.

chaeyeon had already left before you both, so you took the shorter route towards your house. usually, you both would drop her off along the way and then walk back together since you lived right next to each other.

the walk back home was rather silent, filled with occasional slurps of the popsicles you both had bought. your walks home were usually always filled with a comfortable science accompanied by some type of snack. lately, you both had been trying to eat all the popsicle flavours of the new trending brand. so today, you both tried the cherry lime flavour and honestly, it was absolutely disgusting. you stared at the bright red and green ice on the stick and grimaced.

“this tastes really bad”, you stuck out your tongue in disgust “especially the cherry side, it’s just frozen cough medicine.”

jungwon shrugged his shoulders, “i kind of like it, the combination is nice.”

you wrinkled your nose at his remark, “you have bad taste.”

he turned to look at you with mock hurt on his face when you noticed a red stain from the popsicle on the corner of his lips. you walked up to him and tried to rub off the insistent stain from the corner of his lips, making jungwon freeze in his spot. you looked at him to be met with his eyes already staring at your face. his face looked flushed and his eyes were wide open. his eyes.

they were so mesmerising, looking like pools of freshly brewed coffee that always held a sparkle in them. you quickly moved away when jungwon suddenly spoke up.

“w-what are you doing?”

you cleared your throat and looked away, “you had a red stain on your face.”

these types of awkward encounters had been frequenting a lot between you both lately and you felt slightly bothered by it.

he rolled his eyes and tried to play it off, “your lips are green, eat the cherry part also. you look like mike wazowski.”

“shut up.”, you muttered while wiping your lips.

you handed your half eaten popsicle to him and resumed walking. feeling disgusted by the sight of him gorging down both of the disgusting frozen treats you decided to change the topic.

“i’m going to chaeyeon's house later to start our physics project.”

jungwon nodded absentmindedly at that.

“hee is gonna be there too”, you sighed dreamily, making him glare at you.

“why are you still obsessed with that bastard?”

you gasped in offence, “how dare you call him that? he’s an amazing guy.”

jungwon chucked the ice cream sticks in the nearby dustbin a bit too forcefully for your liking. every mention of heeseung’s name always riled him up. both of them were academic rivals, always competing for the top spot, which was why they were never nice to each other and always bickered. but you were not letting their issue meddle with your non-existent love life.

“he’s annoying and not a nice guy”, jungwon walked faster making you break out into a slight jog.

“just last week i saw him walking around with a new chick.” he threw his hands in the air, “how could he do that when he just dumped his girlfriend!”

yeah that was true. heeseung was a bit of a playboy. you weren’t surprised though, his good looks and personality had girls throwing themselves on him right and left and he just accepted it. you didn't mind, you were ready to forgive him for that.

“i don’t care, i know he would never hurt someone intentionally.”

jungwon shook his head at your obvious lovesickness. you were too blinded by your crush to notice the possibility of getting hurt. you waved him off when you reached your driveway.

“bye won, i have to pick an outfit for the evening.”

jungwon didn’t bother looking at you and just simply reminded you that it wasn’t a date. but who cares? definitely not you.

the shiny silver doorbell was waiting for you, inviting you to press it, but you just stood like a fool at chaeyeon’s doorstep. why were you getting nervous for absolutely no reason?(heeseung). it’s not like this was your first time visiting her house.

you dismissed your worry with a nervous chuckle and smoothened your hair down one last time. the summer heat was making it frizzier by the second and you had to look your best for heeseung, which meant you had to enter the house soon. taking a deep breath, you finally pressed the doorbell.

a few moments later, the door swung open, unveiling the most beautiful sight known to mankind—heeseung's beaming face. he gave your outfit a quick once-over, and his smile evolved into a teasing smirk. glancing down at your sage green tank top and acid-washed denim shorts, a hint of uncertainty crept in. were they not to his liking? despite your attempt at a casual look, a moment of self-doubt lingered in the air.

“what’s up?”

his voice broke you out of your dilemma. now you felt too scared to respond. taking another deep breath you tried to keep your voice steady.

“i’m here to study with chaeyeon.”

for some reason, his smirk grew even wider as he checked you out once again, casually leaning against the doorframe. wait, was he actually checking you out? you really sucked at this love stuff because you had absolutely no idea what was going on. were you reading into things too much?"

“studying during summer break?”

he raised his eyebrows as if reminding you to speak. you cleared your throat, “yeah we have to complete a physics project.”

he nodded. “chaeyeon is out running errands though. she won’t be back for another hour.”

you frowned at that information, “but she told me to come over.” heeseung shrugged his shoulders, motioning for you to come in.

“you can wait in her room.”

you had no choice but to agree because he had already started walking in. you sighed and mentally sent a prayer to all the gods to prevent you from embarrassing yourself further.

suddenly, he stopped in his steps and spinned around to face you. you immediately forced your feet to stop walking to prevent crashing into him. “do you want to watch a movie with me instead?”

your heart dropped to your toenails at his words. as much as you wanted to jump at the offer, there was no way you would survive an entire movie with him without embarrassing yourself.

tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you tried to look as apologetic as possible, “actually i should get started on my work, maybe another time?”

heeseung shrugged, “yeah sure.”

you gave him a sheepish smile and started your ascent up the stairs to chaeyeon's room. the entire time, you could feel a pair of eyes burning into your back. the outfit was a good choice. smirking to yourself, you pushed the door to chaeyeon's room open.

it had been over an hour and so far you had listed out all the main points and subheadings to be included in your project. you had no idea when chaeyeon would come back; every time you called her she would say that she'll be home soon. there was a lot of rush at the supermarket she had forcibly gone to with her mom. you had thought about going back home but your mom wanted you to study as much as you could and it wasn’t evening yet, so here you are.

your face was almost going into the laptop screen because of the amount of concentration you had on finding the perfect template for your ppt. the opening of the door shortly distracted you, but you deemed that it was chaeyeon.

"bro, what took you so long?”, you spoke in a exasperated tone “was it actually that crowded? it's not even a weekend today." you didn't bother looking behind and continued doing your work.

you immediately stopped what you were doing as the feeling of two arms wrapping loosely around your collarbone made you stiffen up. a warm breath fanned your neck sending chills down your spine. "it’s me."

heeseung.

how and why were his arms wrapped around you? you weren't complaining because this was your dream come true but at the same time this was not good for your heart, which at this point was about to beat its way out of your chest.

you rolled your chair away from his hold and stood up, almost about to trip over nothing. you were sure you looked redder than a tomato right now, but you somehow managed the courage to look up at heeseung, who was already staring back at you. his head was tilted slightly and his pink lips were scrunched up in a pout.

brushing a non existent stand of hair away from your face, you decided to question him about his previous actions.

"why did you do that?"

he looked at you innocently in question, as if asking you what?

"the hug, why did you just hug me out of nowhere?"

a look of realisation crossed his face and he just chuckled softly at your question. "i was pretending to be chaeyeon." he smirked, "why? don't friends hug each other?"

if he was flirting with you or friend zoning you, you had absolutely no idea. you had to change the conversation quickly.

"why did you come up, is chaeyeon back now?"

"she's on the way now," he pointed towards the door, "i just made some rose lemonade. let's go drink that while you wait."

you nodded and followed him down to the kitchen. you leaned against the marble counter, trying to look as calm and collected as possible while heeseung fetched the pitcher full of the pink drink. suddenly, he turned around and started walking towards you, making you instantly freeze at your spot with an awkward smile etched onto your face. he got closer and stopped once his feet were almost touching yours. giving you a dashing smile he slowly leaned forward. was he going to kiss you?

your dream is finally coming true! you closed your eyes and puckered your lips slightly in anticipation for his to land on them. but that never happened. you opened your eyes to see a wide eyed heeseung staring back at you with two glasses in his hand. oh, he was only reaching for the glasses behind you.

embarrassment washed over you, making your cheeks flame up in shame as heeseung chuckled. you really wanted to melt away into a big puddle of nothing right now. clearing your throat you snatched a glass from his hand and poured yourself the lemonade. heeseung watched you with an amused smile as you chugged down the entire glass in one go to cool down your burning cheeks.

“was it that good?”

you nodded enthusiatically, “you have to send me the recipe!”

heeseung laughed at your reaction and poured you another glass. he probably had the most beautiful laugh and you could hear it on replay for hours. you smiled dreamily at him. by now, literally everyone knew about your humongous crush on him.

the thing was, you had horrible flirting skills and were always oblivious if someone showed interest in you. your exemplary skills in taekwondo and bubbly personality had attracted many but you ended up friendzoning them unintentionally. you only had eyes for heeseung, who was currently washing the dishes you both had drunk from. he was such boyfriend material. you stood up straight once he spoke up.

“my friend is hosting a party this friday.” he turned off the tap and wiped his hands on the kitchen towel. “i’m sure you know who jake is.” you hummed in reply.

“you should come, it’ll be fun.”

you were usually never interested in parties, in fact you never had the time to even think about it while juggling school and taekwondo together. but, you had a bit of free time now since school was off. and heeseung’s offer kind of seemed like he was asking you on a date? you can’t just straight up ask him that so maybe you should just go and find out. this could finally be your moment to directly confess your feelings. you were getting tired of holding them back.

“okay,” you smiled, “i’ll be there.”

heeseung’s face brightened up at your words. “that's great-”

“can i bring jungwon as well?”

his smile dropped, but he nodded somewhat enthusiastically, which didn’t really show on his face. oh right, they hate each other. the air turned awkward at the mention of his name and you were brainstorming things to change the subject when you were saved by the doorbell.

you immediately perked up the sound, “ah, i think chaeyeon is home.”

heeseung gave a forced smile back, “yeah, have fun with your project. i have some work to do. i’ll see you on friday.” with that, he walked back to his room.

your face fell at his sudden change of behaviour. you knew he had no work to do this week because chaeyeon had told you so. it was kind of weird but you assumed it was probably because you mentioned jungwon. he shouldn’t dislike him so much though, afterall he was one of his sister’s closest friends. shrugging it off you walked to the door to let chaeyeon and her mom in.

it was the day of the party and jungwon(who had agreed to attend after much of your insistence) and you stood right outside the door, waiting for someone to open it. chaeyeon had decided not to attend the party and had gone out with her other friends to the amusement park instead. you would have joined her as well because parties were not your thing and you’d rather spend your time riding roller coasters, but this was a matter of love. you had to make sacrifices for your dear heeseung .

the door opened to reveal a beaming jake, “oh hi guys!” he motioned for you both to come inside, “the drinks and snacks are over there and we’re playing games in the living room.” he patted you both on your backs. “have fun!” both of you smiled back at his warm welcome and walked inside the huge bungalow.

the kitchen counter was lined up with all sorts of colourful sodas and delicacies. the living room stretched far and wide, making you gaze at it in awe. colourful fairy lights were strung across the ceiling, setting the people’s face aglow with multiple colours. trending pop songs blared through the speakers and you could feel the bass thump to the beat of your heart. people were spread across the entire house and some of them were gathered outside in the lawn.

jungwon pointed at the people playing games, breaking you out of your trance.“i think they’re setting up a game of twister, let’s go join them!”

you shook your head, “i should go find heeseung first.”

jungwon’s jaw ticked at your words. he rolled his eyes as he spoke, “i don’t think you should do this, he’s not a good guy.”

you frowned at his words, “how do you know? you just hate him because he is better than you in academics.”

he grasped your shoulders and his eyes turned serious. “that’s not the problem. i’ve seen how he treats people. he may act all nice and sweet in front of you, but he’s actually really shallow.”

he sighed at the perplexed look on your face. “he’s a walking red flag and i’ve been trying to get you to understand that for a long time.”

you remained unfazed at his words because just like he had mentioned, he always said the same thing. no matter what happened you were going to try to shoot your shot.

flashing him a sympathetic smile, you patted his shoulder. “sorry buddy, nothing is going to stop me. unless you have feelings for me or something.”

you snickered at your ridiculous thoughts, missing the blush that overtook jungwon’s face. he looked away at your words and shrugged his shoulders.

“okay then, i gave you enough warnings.” rolling your eyes at this dismissive behaviour you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the group of people setting up the game of twister.

“calm down drama queen, let’s play this first then i can go accomplish my mission.” he sighed and accompanied you as you said.

the game was going pretty well and you were confident in your chances of winning. you were in a fairly easy position compared to others, who had their limbs twisted in all sorts of hilarious ways. especially jungwon, who was basically in an upside down table pose. you tried not to notice the way his biceps were bulging out from under his black turtleneck, but it was hard to do so.

looking away from him, you accidentally made eye contact with heeseung who seemed to have just arrived at the party. you waved at him and motioned that you will talk to him later. he gave a bright smile and flashed a thumbs up at your actions. soon after he looked away, a girl with bright red hair walked up to him and kissed his cheek. your heart shattered at her actions. does he have a girlfriend?

he proved your assumptions incorrect when he pushed her off of him. getting a closer look, you realised it was his ex-girlfriend. she was probably just a psycho. you were planning to spy on them more, but annoyed shouts of your name brought you back to reality.

“what are you doing? you’re the only one left to finish your move, everyone is already done.”

apologising, you looked at the wheel that had decided your next move. looking back at the twister mat, you realised that all the good required spots were taken. the spots that were left for you were only reachable if you bent over jungwon, which meant you would be leaning over him until the next move. you had no idea why you were feeling so nervous about it though. he was your best friend after all, you were the closest to him. you’ve been together since childhood. it was stupid to feel nervous over something so trivial.

putting on a cool exterior, you leaned over him to take your position. both of your arms were placed next to his torso and your face was directly hovering over his. you were shocked to see his cheeks turn red because of the close proximity of you both. he was avoiding eye contact with you and you frowned. one nudge of your elbow brought his eyes back to yours.

deja vu hit you as you couldn’t help but get lost in his mesmerising eyes once again. that one twinkle that was always present in them no matter what, the colour of his orbs and the warmth they held every time they looked at you made you lean in closer. you were so close to each other that you could see your own reflection in his eyes. butterflies filled your stomach and you felt warm and fuzzy all over at the realisation of your close proximity with him. jungwon could now feel your warm breath on his lips, making him close his eyes in anticipation of his next move.

but instead of that, your face crashed onto the expanse of his neck with an embarrassingly loud smooch. some idiot had kicked your leg by accident, which made you lose your balance and bring down jungwon with you. you don’t know what demon possessed you to do this, but you took a big sniff and the smell of vanilla and cologne invaded your senses, making you sigh out in content. the feeling of jungwon’s body stiffening under you brought you out of your stupor and you immediately scrambled to get up. why did you act like a creep, you want to cry now.

you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck when everyone started clearing away. the game had ended because the idiot who had tripped you had also ended up rolling down the entire mat merrily like a bowling bowl, knocking everyone down.

that wasn't the issue right now though. were you just going to kiss your best friend? there was no way you had any sort of feelings for him. just a month ago you had given him a friendship day bracelet and told him how your friendship had to last forever or you would bite his nose off. so now why were you so curious to know what his lips felt like? you spinned around to see jungwon clutching his chest like he was a heart patient.

trying to push away the recent embarrassing encounter into the deep, dark pits of your brain, you walked up to him and stood silently, gazing at his lips. they were a light rosy shade of pink and looked glossy due to the coat of transparent lip gloss you had applied on them before coming to the party. they looked so soft.

you were shaken out of your thoughts when jungwon flicked your forehead. you gasped and clutched your forehead in pain, “ow, what was that for?”

jungwon smirked as he pulled you closer by your shoulders. “you seem kind of obsessed with me lately. those looks haven’t gone unnoticed by me you know.”

he raised an eyebrow cockily, “are you sure it’s not me you have a crush on?”

you sputtered and coughed like a broken car engine at his words. how did he already guess what was going on in your mind?

shrugging his hands off of you, you gave a firm whack to his chest. “h-how can you even say that! i only have eyes for heeseung, you’re nothing compared to him.”

jungwon snickered and just pulled you into his side, guiding you towards the table full of food you both had been eyeing. he leaned towards your ear and whispered in a low voice.

“i’m pretty sure we were about to do something else back in the game though.”

your face burned with embarrassment. nothing can save you now, jungwon was in his cheeky mode. he was oozing with confidence and you were blushing as bright as a beet.

you huffed in annoyance and pushed him away to speed walk towards the table. not bothering to wait for him to catch up, you picked up two humongous cupcakes, ready to stuff your mouth. suddenly, a hand came up to your shoulder making, you almost drop your food in surprise. thinking it was jungwon, you put the ugliest scowl on your face and turned around to face him.

“what do you-”

you paused midway through your sentence when you realised who was in front of you. it was a smiling heeseung, who looked smoking hot today. he had adorned a tight fitted black shirt with a grey patterned jacket and his hair was styled to show off his gorgeous forehead. you immediately dropped your scowl and put on your most charming smile.

“oh hey heeseung !”

his smile widened at your greeting but all of a sudden, his eyes turned dark when he looked at something behind you. you looked over to see jungwon standing there with two cups in his hand, his expression as cold as ice. they both were practically shooting lasers from their eyes and you could almost feel the heat from it. gulping, you looked away and tried to think of what to say.

“i have to tell you something important.” you blurted out. heeseung finally broke his staring contest with jungwon and smiled at you.

“sure, go ahead.”

okay, this was the perfect time to confess your feelings.

although, for some reason you hesitated before speaking. you could not stop thinking about what happened between you and your best friend today. were you doing the right thing or should you ponder on it more? unfortunately, one raise of heeseung’s eyebrow had you spilling everything out.

“i have a crush on you.”

is this how it feels like to have a heart attack? because suddenly it felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore and your heart was pounding erratically. maybe it wasn’t a good idea to confess if you felt this scared after it.

before you could comprehend heeseung’s reaction to your confession, the feeling of something cold and sticky being poured over you made you scream in shock.

your mouth was hung open in shock as you turned around to see who the culprit was. it was the same girl with cherry red hair who had kissed heeseung on the cheek before.

“what the fuck was that for?”, you spat in anger.

she crossed her arms with a stupid smirk painted onto her face. “you were shamelessly flirting with my boyfriend, i obviously had to do something.” you were about to retort but heeseung beat you to it.

“lena we broke up a week ago, can you stop doing things like this! i’m so sick of you.”

lena just chuckled and shook her head frantically. pushing you out of the way, she walked up to heeseung and cupped his cheeks with her manicured hands.

“no baby, we’re just going through a bad time. we’re still very much in love with each other.”

letting out a tired sigh, he pushed her hands away from his face. “stop being so delusional,” he looked towards you with an apologetic gaze, “why would you pour your drink over her? she’s like a sister to me. that’s not acceptable..”

ouch.

this was worse than getting friendzoned, he sister zoned you.

that too right in front of his ex.

after you confessed your feelings for him.

you tuned out the rest of his words as anger bubbled up inside you. you knew you were not as delusional as the mosquito of a girl in front of you. heeseung had reciprocated your advances sometimes and had even initiated flirting with you. then why would he say all that?

a warm hand clasped around your forearm that was now sticky from the soda that was poured over you. jungwon pulled you towards him gently with a concerned look on his face.

“are you okay? do you want to leave?”, your face softened at his genuine concern.

a mischievous glint appeared in your eyes as you decided on what you were going to do. “give me five minutes jungwon, i'm going to make sure someone pays for ruining my dress.”

jungwon’s eyebrows raised as he understood what you were about to do.

you moved towards lena who was still yapping about how much she loved heeseung, and tapped her shoulder. she pushed her tongue against her cheek when she realised it was you.

“what?”

giving her a condescending smile you motioned towards your outfit that was drenched in the sticky soda. “you’re going to have to pay for the damage you did.”

lena scoffed in disbelief, “and what makes you think i’ll do that? get lost, don’t waste my time.”

she waved you off and turned back to heeseung . even though it was against your morals to fight with someone weaker than you, you were not going to be civil with her anymore.

grabbing a fistful of her obnoxious bright red hair, you yanked her towards you making her yelp in pain. turning her around, you repeated yourself.

“are you going to pay or not?”

she looked at you with a crazed look in her eyes. “of course not you psycho.” she punched you weakly on the jaw making everyone around you gasp in shock.

“you started this”, shrugging you let go of her hair and punched her smack on the nose, making her stumble backwards. a loud crack resonated throughout the room. lena shrieked in pain as her hands became red from trying to stop her nose from bleeding. one of her fake eyelashes(which was about half the length of your fingers) had fallen onto the floor due to the impact of your punch.

you pouted mockingly, “i guess you’ll have to get a nose job again.”

wiping away the blood from her face she charged at you with her fist ready to strike, but you easily grabbed her arm making her stagger to stop. you twisted her arm around till it was painfully bent behind her back. she whimpered in pain and tapped on your arm.

“ow please, that hurts.”

you scoffed, “this is nothing, i can do much worse if i want.”

she looked up at heeseung with pleading eyes, “h-heeseung please stop this psychotic bi-”

you tightened your grip on her arm making her groan out in pain. heeseung paid no heed to her words, in fact he was watching the entire scene play out with an amused look on his face.

you looked to your left and tilted your head at jungwon, silently asking him what to do next. he was watching you with a proud smile and nodded his head signalling you to do what you wanted. you gave him a thumbs up and returned back to your situation.

you gave her a firm kick to her shin, making her fall on her knees. she raised her free hand in defeat.

“alright i’ll pay you for the drycleaning i promise!”

you huffed loudly and left her arm causing her to completely collapse on the floor. you nodded towards heeseung with a blank face. “you’re going to leave him alone as well.”

she squeaked out a yes, handed you a fifty dollar bill and scurried away, probably leaving the party.

everyone else cheered loudly for you for standing up to her. you grinned and jogged over to jungwon and grabbed his hand, “how did i do?”

his eyes held affection as he looked you over, “awesome.”

that one word of praise cheered you up instantly, much better than any amount of ice cream would have.

you both were just about to leave the driveway of jake’s house when the shout of your name made you both halt. you turned to see none other than heeseung jog towards you with a set of keys in his hands. he held them out to you and looked at you with an unreadable expression.

“i think you dropped your keys behind.” your eyes widened and you grabbed them from him, thanking him in a small voice.

he stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked you up and down, the action making jungwon’s grip on your hand tighten. “you were really cool back there. i’m glad i got to see you in action.”

you hummed, not knowing what to say. can he not read the room? it felt so awkward to even look at him anymore.

he cleared his throat and his confident persona dropped for a minute as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“actually, what i said back there about you being like my sister.” your head shot up at his words. “i didn’t mean any of that.”

he looked at his feet. “i only said that to get lena off your back, but if i knew you would’ve taken care of it yourself, i never would have done that”, he trailed off in his sentence.

jungwon’s voice cut through the tense atmosphere, making you feel relieved as he questioned what you weren’t able to, “cut to the chase.”

heeseung ignored him and looked directly into your eyes. “well i don’t exactly have feelings for you right now, but i really want to make it up to you. you’re a really cool person,” he stepped closer towards you, “i want to take you out for dinner this sunday.”

you could almost feel the anger radiate off jungwon as he spat out his next words, “did you start finding her cool only because she beat your psycho ex-girlfriend up.” he scoffed, “you don’t owe her a favour, she did what was right.” your shoulders slumped at his words. is that how he actually felt?

heeseung rolled his eyes, “please don’t bring your jealousy into the middle of all this. she can make her own decisions.”

both the boys looked at you intently, waiting for you to make your decision. the urge to crawl in a hole and live there forever was extremely strong right now. you really couldn’t handle the pressure. wanting the best of both worlds, you said the first thing that came up to you.

“i’m okay with the dinner.”

heeseung ’s face brightened up in victory whilst jungwon dropped his hand from yours in defeat.

why was he so upset about it now? it’s not like you were going on a date with heeseung, he made it very clear he doesn’t like you. and why were you so adamant on making sure jungwon understood that?

being born as a dolphin would’ve been so much better at this point. at least you wouldn't have to deal with physics and this romance shit.

it was the day of the dinner and you were currently lacing up your doc martens on your front porch. you had decided to wear a black skirt with a white top and a dark brown coat since it was raining today so it was a bit chilly outside, even though it was the middle of summer. you had only just finished wearing your shoes when your phone started ringing, indicating a video call from chaeyeon.

you furrowed your brows and picked it up, “hello-”

“you absolute moron!” she screamed from the other side making you flinch.

“what happened? since when did you start insulting me, jungwon was enough-”

“this is about him! how could you be so heartless?”, she cut you off once again. you frowned, what did you do to him?

“stop making that face, you look like a pug,” she rolled her eyes, “why are you going out with heeseung today?”

oh so that’s what this is about.

you shook your head, “it’s not really a date, he just wanted to take me out to dinner.”

chaeyeon's lips formed into a thin line at that. “you mean my brother, who’s basically a casanova, is taking you out to a casual dinner?” she shook her head disapprovingly, “i didn’t think you could be so clueless."

you squinted at her in confusion, “just tell me what you want to. don’t beat around the bush. there’s no time for that, he’ll be here any moment.”

pinching her nose in frustration, she let out a deep breath. “jungwon told me the full story of what happened at the party since someone else forgot to.” you gave her a guilty smile at that. chaeyeon caught a horrible flu a few days ago, so you didn’t really get the time to update her on all this.

“he likes you a lot. he’s been hopelessly in love with you since the past five years.”

your jaw hung open at that. there’s no way your suspicions were right. jungwon actually liked you? you felt gooey and warm like a freshly baked brownie right now. you could feel the heat spread through your entire body at the idea of jungwon liking you, something which you noticed was opposite of what you felt when you were around heeseung.

“close your mouth, i can see your internal organs.” you really wanted to slap her right now because her sarcastic commentary really wasn't helping you with the whirlwind of emotions you were going through.

you let out a deep sigh, “i really don’t know chaeyeon. i feel so happy and excited at the thought of that? but also kind of scared. he’s my best friend, you know, i don’t want to mess things up.”

she shook her head at you with pity, “it’s too late for that, you already did.”

“what do you mean?”

“are you kidding me?”, she scoffed. “jungwon is competing in the interstate taekwondo championship today!”

you stood up from your seat in horror, “what! why didn’t you tell me before?”

she wiped her runny nose into her tissue and glared at you, “you’re his closest friend, i didn’t think you would forget something so important.” she sighed, “i can’t attend the fight because of my cold, but you should.”

the honk of a car horn made you look in front to see heeseung waving at you. you mirrored his actions and looked back into your phone. “there’s still time till the fight right?”

she nodded, “kinda, it starts in thirty minutes.”

muttering a ‘shit’, you thanked her for giving you a reality check. she only nodded and coughed into her tissue once again, “it’s up to you to pick between your amazing and sincere best friend or my brother who’s probably only interested in you for your fighting skills.”

nodding solemnly, you cut the call and stuffed your phone into your side bag. by then, heeseung had walked up to your doorstep with an umbrella in his hand.

“are you ready to go?”

your hands were sat on your lap as you watched the rain fall outside of the car window. you were sitting in a rather rigid manner on your seat as you listened to heeseung blabber about some olympiads he had won medals for. you felt bad because you weren’t paying any attention to what he was saying. you couldn't get jungwon off of your mind.

the warmth he made you feel everytime he smiled and when the dimples on his cheeks showed. the way your heart fluttered when you watched him execute taekwondo moves with perfection and the way his face lit up with joy each time he was successful. the butterflies that swarmed your stomach every time you hugged him or held his hand. all of this, you had been brushing them away for so long thinking that this was a normal thing for friends. there was no way you could be more than that. but now realisation seemed to dawn upon you; you had been in love with him all along, perhaps even longer than he has been.

looking next to you, you observed heeseung. he still made you feel nervous and excited, but you realised that this was a different kind of feeling. the kind you feel when you receive updates from your favourite celebrity. it was nothing more than a schoolgirl crush, the one where he was just good eye candy to admire. he didn’t make you feel the comfort and love you felt with jungwon. and you didn’t feel the same way about him either.

you have to see jungwon, right now.

shuffling through your bag for your phone, you frantically checked the time. you still had fifteen more minutes to go before his match started.

“heeseung can you please take me to x stadium instead? i’m so sorry, but i can’t have dinner with you today, i have to go.”

heeseung frowned, “what happened all of a sudden? is it that urgent?”

“yes it is, please turn the car around.”

he nodded, still confused. he was about to question you but stopped when he saw you hold up your phone to your ear, trying to call jungwon so you could tell him you were coming to his match. he received missed calls after missed calls from you, but he didn’t pick up any. his phone was probably with the coach.

soon, heeseung stopped the car at a red light right across the stadium. you asked him to unlock the car door and thanked him for the ride.

his eyes widened, “are you going to walk in the rain? it’ll just take me five more minutes to make a u-turn.”

you shook your head, “there’s no time for that, i’ll miss jungwon-”

“you’re going to see jungwon?”

“yes, i’m sorry for leaving you like this but i can’t miss out on his match. i forgot about it till today,” you sighed, “i also need to tell him something.”

you breathed out in frustration when heeseung just stared at you blankly, not complying to your request. reaching over him you turned off the door locks. you had just stepped one leg out when he stopped you by grabbing your wrist.

“i thought you liked me.”

you looked at him with surprise. what is he playing at? judging by the pissed off expression on his face you could conclude that he was jealous because you were ditching him for his rival.

you gave him a small smile, “i was wrong.”

slamming the car door shut, you dashed off into the rain and crossed the road towards the stadium entrance. you always found the main leads in movies crazy to be running in the heavy rain towards their lover, but you finally understood their situation today. a stupid smile was graced upon your features and you couldn’t wait to tell jungwon everything you felt about him.

upon entering the stadium, you immediately ran towards the direction of the changing rooms and were met with your coach standing in front of it. his eyes widened momentarily upon seeing you all soaked.

“y/n you’re here? what hap-”

“is jungwon inside?”, desperation laced your voice as you questioned him. he nodded, “yes, but he has to be out soon-”

you cut him off once again by thanking him and entered the room behind him. the slam of a door being shut, startled the man standing in front of you, making him drop the water bottle he was holding. he faced you with eyes as wide as saucers, clearly not expecting to see you here.

“you came? but what about your dinner?”

you paced towards him and smacked his shoulder, “screw that, why didn’t you remind me of your match even if i forgot?”

he winced as you whacked him once again, “you know this is equally important to me as much as it is to you!”

he caught your hand when you were going to hit him again. “i didn’t want to disturb your date, i know how badly you want to be with him.”

he tried to mask the hurt on his face by putting on a small smile, but you could see it in his eyes. “this is just one match, i would have told you the results anyways, you didn’t have to-”

you cut him off by grabbing the collar of his white uniform and smashing your lips onto his. jungwon froze for a few seconds but then slowly closed his eyes and cupped your face as he kissed you back. he tilted his head to deepen the kiss and moved his lips with more fervour. the kiss soon turned messy and heated as you both let out your years of pent up feeling you couldn’t say. his lips were cushiony soft and tasted like vanilla and peppermint. your brain felt like it turned to mush as you moved your lips against his addictive ones. damn, if you knew he was such a good kisser, you would’ve asked him out yourself long ago.

your knees were about to give out from the intensity of the kiss, so he wrapped one of his hands around your waist and pulled you flush against him. when you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore you pushed him by his chest away slightly, but he only chased your lips for more, muffling the squeal that came out from you with his lips. he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then your nose, your cheeks and continued to pepper kisses all over your face, making you giggle in glee. he pulled away and held your face as if you were the most precious gem in the world. you felt your cheeks heat up as you looked at his lips which were swollen and glossy from kissing.

“i like you so so much y/n”, his cheeks bunched up and his eyes crinkle at the corners from smiling so happily.

you kissed the dimple that appeared on his cheek and grinned at him.

“i like you a lot, too pretty boy.”

459 notes · View notes