#jupeter are idiots and so am i

[sapirserket]

why 'call me maybe' is a jupeter song: an essay (part 2) (sadder than the first one) (not clickbait) (but yes spoilers)

1. "You took your time with the call

I took no time with the fall"

the first part of this song was about murderous mask, but i believe these lines refer to juno calling peter at the end of midnight fox (which is the best juniverse episode yall). he really took his time, i mean really, six episodes without nureyev? why juno, w h y (and yes i know it's technically three but they're still separate episodes so...)

also, it really took nureyev no time to break into juno's apartment just so he can say that it's been a while. this man is extra.

also, this song doesn't have anything specifically relevant to train from nowhere, so it's miasma time :)))))))))

2. "I beg and borrow and steal

At first sight and it's real"

juno sees peter's memories (big oof time #1) and sees him learning to be a thief. he also sees peter killing mag (big oof time #2), but peter doesn't know that, therefore only mentioning the borrowing and stealing in this song (and yes, i'm implying that peter nureyev wrote this song).

3. "I didn't know I would feel it

But it's in my way"

the thing that's in peter's way could either be the door to the Egg Room™ in final resting place (big oof time #3), or, if we're still talking about teen peter, the memory of his past (which fits the beginning of the song, when peter talks about his wish to become nameless). either way it's a sad time.

4. "Your stare was holding,

Ripped jeans, skin was showin'"

although it first seems like the stare is just juno staring at the love of his life, this line takes a darker turn - this time, the 'stare' is juno reading peter's mind. also, there probably wasn't a washing machine in the martian tomb, so it makes sense that their clothes would be dirty and/or ripped.

5. "Hot night, wind was blowin'

Where you think you're going baby?"

y'all know what this part is about :')

i still stand by my explanation of these lines in the first part, but like the previous lines they change a bit with the context of the ending of final resting place. as @thejade7 said on discord, 'where you think you're going baby?' is peter waking up alone in the hotel room (or even worse, him being half asleep when juno leaves and thinking he just went to the bathroom or something. big oof time #4).

6. "Hey, I just met you and this is crazy

But here's my number, so call me maybe"

i believe that this time, the chorus is not peter's thoughts at the moment - it's him not being able to move on from juno. he keeps thinking about the first time they met and how he felt when he saw juno crawling out that window, and wondering what could happen if juno hadn't left.

"And all the other boys try to chase me"

this is peter trying to calm himself down, remind himself that he's still the best at Be Gay Do Crimes and other people still exist. all the other boys are still chasing him, so he needs to move the frick on and disappear again. for a whole fricking season. w h y.

7. "Before you came into my life

I missed you so bad

And you should know that"

guess what? we just skipped to season 3!! this is jupeter finally talking about their feelings!! peter wrote this whole mcfreakin song for one of their poetry nights. i love one (1) poetry nerd. in fact, i am one myself. why did i write this thing? no one knows.

hope y'all enjoyed this, i'm gonna go do some homework now. or maybe write another song analysis. yeah, probably that.

[skysybil]

Penumbra Superlatives: Most Likely To Be A Dark Matters NPC

The people demanded it, and I am indeed a magnanimous conspiracy theory machine, so here is my incredibly ridiculous reasoning behind my “who is in the dark matters simulation and who is fake” ranking, found here. Thank you to my partner for listening to me yell about this for 24 hours straight now. Man, I am gonna look like an idiot if this isn’t a Dark Matters induced simulation or dream in the end with how all-in I’ve been going with this.

Also, if you guys ever want me to lay out every fucking tiny detail I’ve seen that I think points to it being a simulation, I’ll do that too. Please validate me.

This is insanely long, it’s like two to three paragraphs for every member of the space family. This is kind of shameful, I almost feel bad. I’ll be your best friend forever if you read it all. Also, I’m putting it below the cut for everyone’s sanity. Anyway, let’s go lesbians, let’s go!

First, in the “definitely an active participant” category: Rrrrrita!

I’ll admit, it’s genuinely really hard to tell what discrepancies in the story are suspicious simulation details and what is just Rita being a particularly unreliable narrator. However, my first general point towards Rita being an active participant/player/whatever you want to call it is the fact that we’re experiencing this through her perspective! I think it would be really cool to tell the story from the perspective of a caricature puppeted by Dark Matters, but I feel like it would be way more obvious in gaps in her thinking patterns if she was fake. Honestly, I personally think it would be impossible to run it from the perspective of one of these NPCs (as i’m calling them) anyway, because... you know, they probably don’t have much in the way of thoughts in the first place. 

Plus, out of everyone in the group, she is most likely to be plucked out of a group of criminals by Dark Matters to recruit. Sasha knows her (or at least knows of her) and how good she is at her job. I’m sure she’s got a target on her back as someone that’s too powerful (seriously, I pray for the universe the day Rita realizes just how quickly she could take over the world--see: my THEIA Rita AU that i came up with this morning which I might post about later), but I’m also pretty sure killing Rita would be seen as a wasted opportunity. This could just be another test, just like Day That Wouldn’t Die but in an even more controlled environment. The perfect trap, the perfect test--hopefully for perfect results. And with how she tends to get caught up in glamour and drama or get distracted so easily, she’s one of the easiest members of the group to trick into not questioning the little discrepancies that comes from living in a lie.

---

Next, Vespa. Love of my life and the only other member of the Carte Blanche crew that I’m almost totally sure is sharing space in this simulation.

She’s in a similar position that she’s a valuable asset for Dark Matters to try and take on--especially if they can use her past debts as blackmail or something along those lines. She’s a damn good assassin and they tend to specialize in making people disappear. Why wouldn’t they seize the opportunity to test her and see if she could truly work for them? Dark Matters also seems to lack an ethical core, to say the least, and if they consider her past trauma and her illness to be an issue, I’m sure they wouldn’t be against trying to “fix” her in their horribly scummy ways just so she could be a better killer for their organization. It could also be related to her skills as a doctor with the crew, to be fair--while Rita is off building robots and trying to break into a super secret base, Vespa is repairing the entire medical wing, an incredibly suspicious task when apparently enough of the ship survived that Rita’s computers are okay, the entire crew is unscathed, and the Ruby isn’t a warped hunk of metal.

Though she is also very likely to be nabbed by Dark Matters as an opportunity, the main condemning thing against Vespa being an NPC is the conversation we overhear with Buddy. No one else knows that Vespa considered or decided on leaving the crew. We can’t say that’s a part of Rita’s mind affecting the simulation around her because Rita doesn’t know, and it’s not information that could be hacked, either. It was just in her mind. Unless Dark Matters has their hands on new mind reading technology (oh god, not this shit again), there’s no way that the scene with Vespa and Buddy could exist unless Vespa is also inhabiting the simulation. Every scene they choose to include is deliberate. To rule Vespa out of the plan, all it would’ve taken was likely just Vespa being her normal defensive self. Why would they include a scene with a look into that vulnerability if it didn’t matter?

Speaking of the Vespa and Buddy scene--but why would Vespa snap at Rita that badly if she’s real, you might ask. You’re right, Vespa is aggressive but not that aggressive normally, and it stood out in the few interactions we saw. In Vespa’s defense, if she is participating in this simulation, she is understandably freaked the fuck out. Vespa spends every day of her life hyperaware of what might be real and what might be fake around her. She’s most likely to figure out that something is very wrong first simply because of that trait. How much of her mind is Dark Matters manipulating? Would DM have to simulate her hallucinations, or would that come naturally along with her mind being stuck in this simulation? I imagine that for every discrepancy we’ve picked up on, she’s picked up on six--but she no longer has the explanation of it being a hallucination. I imagine it’s frustrating and terrifying for her. I’d be on edge, too!

---

Moving into our next category: “probably in the simulation”, with our only candidate Buddy.

Buddy is my question mark character. We barely interacted with her this episode. From what I can tell, most of what we saw from her seems in character, and she had some wicked fucking lines. I’m sorry, I refuse to give Dark Matters credit for the line “If you imagine all that could go wrong, all you’ve done is drag yourself through a thousand disasters. And even in the worst-case scenario, you will only need to live through one.” Because it genuinely made me feel better in real life, goddammit.

Buddy is mostly in this category for lack of evidence, both with the lack of interaction and with how Rita kind of glazed over the family meeting with her distractions. So, it’s hard to say. I’d love to hear others’ theories on Buddy’s place in this.

---

Now, we cross the threshold into those that are probably not in the simulation, or are acting incredibly suspicious: the “on thin fucking ice” category. First, Peter. 

Can this bastard decide on his personality for two whole minutes so I can get a handle on the little intricacies of the new Ransom persona? No? Goddammit. It’s hard to tell how much of the way he acted was genuinely suspicious and how much of it is the mask he’s put on for Peter Ransom. While he’s adopted the old name, he hasn’t adopted his old personality, so it’s near impossible to get good points of comparison on this new view. We’ve seen inside his head with this persona, sure, but we can’t compare the way he spoke and acted in his head with how he holds himself in front of Rita--he’s always going to choose his level of vulnerability based off of the least trusted person in the room. He’s not to that place with Rita yet. He’s going to have walls and facades up that he won’t have in front of Juno, or in front of himself. He can’t make it easy on him.

But that does not mean I can’t be suspicious of him, because I am. Fuck you, Nureyev, I’m still coming for you. Mainly, I’m squinting at his reaction to Rita’s plans and his lack of reaction to her openly talking about the two of them in an established relationship. We know damn well that Peter and Juno are not at that place yet. Why, do you ask? Because I trust that Sophie and Kevin wouldn’t take that moment from us. We’ve had three and a half years of slowburn buildup on Jupeter! We would not skip from “tentatively talking and trying to learn communication through ‘’’’’’poetry’’’’’’ and shit” to “established lovey dovey relationship” without being let in on it. I doubt Peter would let comments like the ones Rita made really slide in front of Juno--after all, the last time he admitted he was in love, Juno fucking left, and I bet there’s a lot of reluctance or trauma surrounding that. Yet he let it slide anyway.

Still, because Peter is a wild card, there’s still a possibility that his non-reaction was a defense mechanism or part of the Ransom facade (after all, he had to pretend he was in better standing with Juno than he actually was at first to keep his place in the family). The most suspicious thing he did in that conversation, in my opinion, was agree not to let anyone else know about the plan. He knows damn well that he is on thin ice with everyone in the crew except for Juno and Rita. Trust is in short supply for him and keeping his position in the family is incredibly important to him, both so he can find a way to pay off his debts and so he can pursue this shaky relationship he’s started to piece back together with Juno. Yet he hops right in with barely any pushback when it comes to keeping this Incredibly Vital And Important Plan a complete secret. Plus, you know, he supposedly couldn’t even stand, yet walked all the way to the computer cave. Sure, maybe Juno carried him, but I’d fully expect something like Juno picking him up to be a joke written into the script. I feel like it was deliberately left out.

Still, the only real glimpse of Peter that Dark Matters has ever had was of Rex Glass, and Peter definitely isn’t acting like his Rex persona, so how would they really know to get his personality around the Aurinko family to where it is? I suppose that could be attributed to Rita, Vespa, and/or Buddy shaping the simulation around them.

Tl;dr on the Peter section: He’s almost definitely an NPC but nothing is certain with a man whose entire sense of self is based off of an elaborate web of lies and inconsistencies.

---

Also probably an NPC, but I’m not sure, thus on thin fucking ice: Jet.

You cannot tell me for one fucking second that Jet doesn’t know the Ruby 7 inside and out. That car is his baby. He’s torn the car apart and repaired it more than anyone else, and you’re telling me he doesn’t understand the core functions of the car--the engine, the fuel tank? No fucking way. I don’t have 3.5 paragraphs of speculation for Jet, I’m just so hung up on the fucking car thing. His personality fits well, which is the one string I’m holding onto that makes him maybe possibly an actual human being, but I feel like Dark Matters fucked up by trying to fill in the blanks on the Ruby 7. That’s where I think the issue comes from--the reason there’s a part in the Ruby that Jet doesn’t understand is because DM doesn’t know how the Ruby works, and they tried to put in what they imagined could power it or fuzz over the details. But I will cry if the Ruby was actually destroyed in the crash, there’s no recovering from that.

---

And finally, if you’ve made it this far and not left after whispering to yourself holy shit, she’s insane, she’s absolutely insane, how much does this woman talk, we have the final category: unfortunately an NPC. And holy shit, is Juno 100% not in this simulation or being almost entirely puppeted by Dark Matters.

I genuinely can’t get into all my reasoning behind Juno being a puppet here without going on forever and doubling the length of this post, and I’ve put you through so much already. But every inch of Juno is suspicious, down to his tone of voice. Look, I’m happy to see him happy. But it just seems like a jump--just like as I discussed in the Peter section with the Jupeter relationship. It feels like we skipped something, or missed something. This is my theory: Juno has been crafted based off of how Sasha Wire knew him when she saw him last. He doesn’t have reactions that are quite right to the computers, to Peter, to anyone, really. Everything felt just a little off--until he got frustrated. Then he became more realistically Juno. I think this might be because Sasha is basing a comfortable and happy Juno (the one she assumes he must be around the people on the ship, especially Peter if she knows they’re romantically involved) off of the Juno she interacted with when they were younger, which is just off in comparison to the Juno we know now. She can build a more three dimensional Juno in the situations she’s familiar with, like a bored Juno, a frustrated Juno, or an angry Juno. She’s got the one-liners down, I’ll give her that.

I’m also just in general not surprised if Sasha is just keeping him separate from the rest of them. Possibly to try and talk him out of the family, get him untangled from the Dark Matters mess? Plus, he’s incredibly perceptive, and might be considered a risk to the simulation if he was in it. 

Also, the out-of-universe evidence: I am 100% convinced that the reason the episode script came out late is because it had to be edited to remove some of the directions, possibly suspicious things like “too cheery”. Specifically, I think one of Juno’s significant directions is missing. It’s hard to put exactly what kind of direction is missing into words because I don’t know anything about script writing, but I just... I have a feeling. Trust me on this. I’ve seen other people on Twitter talk about it too, I’m not the only one. I stand by it.

---

Anyway, since I want to keep my Juno-specific speculation as short as possible, that’s all, folks. If you stayed this long, genuinely I love you so much and I would give my life for you, message me or mention it in the tags that you made it all the way and maybe we could be mutuals or friends!! I love to ramble about this kind of thing. Follow me for more aimless speculation, hopefully not 2.5k words next time. If you have any questions or other stuff to discuss also mention it and I might post about it later!

Update: If you’re interested in the simulation theory, here’s the link to a post I just made laying out all my conspiracy theory evidence for it.

[dangerous-disposition]

HEY SO i was delayed in both getting my snacks and any amount of meme’ing and fic writing bc the ever glorious @majorbears​ posted their amazing Softe Jupeter fic and Y’ALL MUST GO READ IT RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY

i've been having revelations (and i'm gonna let them shine) - Rated T - Summary:

"It happens a few weeks or so into their crime journey. Heist voyage? Whatever. It’s been almost a month, and Juno blinks awake with something silky between his fingers."

--

Simply an excuse to write sappy, fluffy, comforting nonsense about Juno and Peter being helplessly besotted idiots who construct the world's gaudiest magpie nest of a bed together.

PLEASE READ IT AND COMMENT ON IT AND LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DID BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY WEEPING.

[lexicals]

Okay okay okay (penumbra spoilers below):

RITA REDACTED I LOVE YOU

I WAS EXPECTING BUDDY HONESTLY BUT RITA REDACTED I LOVE YOU X2 COMBO

I love the setup here so much. Everyone is fine, physically at least, the ship is getting repaired and progress is being made. It's all chill (well, kind of). Kabert thank you for my life this is everything I didn’t know I needed

They always manage to really surprise me with these episode concepts tbh it's always something different and I love that

Jet is so protective of the ruby? Amazing subtlety of voice acting there tbh, the difference in tone when jet is talking about not letting the ruby go/not having let it get this damaged before is only barely noticeable but there's a lot of emotion behind it

Speaking of which what the Hale is up with it?? I did wonder at the end of last ep whether it would have been able to save everyone while still tied down and it seems like?? Maybe it did?? Somehow???

Idk if this ties in with what rita was talking about with the book being the closest thing humanity has to a true AI cause like the ruby is definitely not Just A Car

Vespa doesn't seem to be doing okay huh ;; I had hoped that maybe she'd be feeling a bit better about herself after the end of last ep but this makes sense, I still hope she manages to work through this soon though....... I hope buddy is doing okay too oh god she must be hurting

Peter like "yes come in! Oh..... you're not juno ):"

Is he playing an instrument like the one from the square on new kinshasa do you think..... oof. Love that though. Rita calling it his depressing instrument made me snort out loud

I'm SO GLAD that the dynamic between rita & nureyev is this one. I rbed a post last week talking about that dynamic of a character who's obviously an idiot (not that I would ever rly call rita an idiot) and one who seems sane, but is actually just as bad and joked that this was the forbidden dynamic but LITTLE DID I KNOW

Anyway they're both terrible and I love them

"Here's the lady of the hour" I am healed. I have ascended to a higher plane, forever.

Juno like :>!!! No I can help what do you need!!! God BLESS

I love him so much every line is music to my ears he's doing so WELL

Rita being like I love you and I'm glad you love each other but please god you're such a technophobe please this is not the mission for you

Jupeter excessive pda confirmed? Anyway cute

COMPUTER CAVE......

Idiot squad is on the CASE. Mama buddy is gonna be so mad when she finds out though fhsgfjfhd

DRIFT COMPATIBILITY

I mean not really but god that would've been fun though

I have one single complaint about this episode and that is that I found the robot voices really hard to understand/listen to...... I had to turn my audio all the way up to make out what anyone was saying and at that point the volume was making my ears hurt ):

Anyway I love this concept though & it's so fucking funny

I had been wondering about rita's episode, specifically what flaw of hers her episode would be addressing? Seeing as that seems to be the pattern here, with nureyev's self-isolation, jet's struggling with/repressing his past, and vespa's struggle to trust people/come to terms with her new way of life. So far it seems like the issue is that she's just straight up out of touch with the others and maybe a little selfish? She's more focused on how she thinks things should go than on what would be practical as evidenced with the robots in particular, idk maybe these eps rly are gonna be just pure comedy relief but I'm interested to see how that develops

Especially with her saying it's better to ask forgiveness than permission, idk I think maybe rita knows how smart she is perhaps a little too much? I love her but they've kind of gone in half-cocked here

I wonder if this ties back to her mother in any way, too..... cause we know rita's mother was, if nothing else, someone who used to make homemade bombs, idk what kind of lessons she was teaching her kid lmao

Dark matters back again oh boy..... and isn't agent g the same one that was in charge when they killed m'tendere? Interesting that they seem to be going after the same marks here

Anyway this ep was such a nice change of pace I loved it I'm so excited for the next one although I'm more than a little worried about what buddy is going to have to say about this when it's all over lmao

Second listen:

Okay SERIOUSLY though what the hell is up with the ruby 7. What is she!!!

Buddy talking about how catastrophising means you put yourself through a thousand disasters..... after last ep & considering how vespa thinks..... oh dear

"Not /supposed/ to know much about mistah ransom" RITA?? HELLO??? What does she KNOW....... is this gonna come up next ep aaaa

"Juno.... dear......" I LOVE THEM THOUGH

Also though I was talking abt this w a couple of people but I rly hope we haven't missed All of the canon development for juno & peter....... after 2 seasons of build-up having the emotional climax to their relationship arc happen offscreen would be a little frustrating so I hope they're saving some stuff,,,

Anyway this whole concept is so ridiculous but so good...... the robots.... the Names........ I love it sm. Rita redacted I LOVE YOU

[wurmbabe]

🍓👉👈

jayne !! you are so easy to talk to and i am so glad you got me into penumbra. your grip on your muses is so amazing and you honestly are such a great friend & partner to have and write with. i adore our talks about space wives & jupeter & og idiots & literally everything else we discuss.

[damienthepious]

tagged by @pinkpuffballdude!

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know more about (or want to be come friends with.)

Top 3 Favorite Ships

rad bouquet obviously, like, i put out a fic a week for them compulsively and i have cried about them today

megamind/roxanne ritchi. fuck yeah. god i lvoe small nerds and their confident girlfriends. metro man can be thrown in too. as a treat. but megarox is like the core of it for me.

uhh wow i fixate hard on so little stuff don’t i uhhhhhh........ oh dear lord obviously jupeter. oh my god i’m an idiot.

Last Song Listened To

Same Dark Places (Acoustic Version) - JR JR

Last Movie Watched:

uhhh i think it was probably Silence of the Lambs? i think my bro put that on the other day.

Reading:

uh. i’ve been so bad at reading. fanfic? oh wait no i recently got Uncomfortable Labels: My Life as a Gay Autistic Trans Woman by Laura Kate Dale and i’m into that for sure.

What food am I craving Right now:

M O C H I. i saw a gifset of strawberry mochi yesterday and i’ve been dying since. dear lord. i haven’t had mochi in like a fucking year i need it hadsflkasdlfj

Tags

i’m bad at tagging so i’m. not gonna i think. love you tho!!! if you want to do this consider yourself tagged!!! <3<3<3

[oneunicornaway]

so @a-random-fandom-friend​ is an awesome friend who gave me stuff to do :)

I can’t do anything in one go, so I’ll do them one by one, here is the fist one: 1, fluff section: How much did you drink, with Jupeter, from tpp :)

There’s no direct spoiler, but some stuff hint at some element of the end of season 1 <3

Peter Nureyev, Juno could tell, was bored. Their mark hadn’t bothered to show up for more than five minutes to their own party, and Lucius Palladium, the obnoxious art collector Peter was impersonating, was ‘socializing’ with the upper criminal society while deft fingers freed the participant of their wallets, their jewels, and – if the cluttered pockets of Peter were to be believed – their cutlery.

Juno, of course, was entirely unaware of such thievery, otherwise he’d have to have a strong worded discussion with his partner. While Peter was collecting phone numbers and silverwares, he was trying to discreetly take pictures of the various art pieces displayed around the room. Dys Palladium, Lucius’ husband and arm candy – Juno was bewildered at what people were ready to believe – couldn’t justify making a call about stolen art to Rita, so he had to use his comms in the most innocuous way to get evidence he could use later. There was no doubt in his mind that the overly muscled waiters all around the room doubled as bouncer and bodyguard, and getting dragged in front of a mob boss for spying on them wasn’t exactly Juno’s idea of a fun night.

It took Juno longer than he would have anticipated to take all of his evidence pictures, but in the end, he had a data base of what he was sure was a solid case against ring leader Vega Valentine, which would be worth the effort. Peter’s mark was still nowhere to be found, so they had nothing more to do here.

However, it seemed that Peter… had vanished. Juno’s heart banged against his ribcage as he tried to locate the thief: had Peter been unmasked while he wasn’t paying attention? No, that made no sense, he was too good an actor for that. But then,

“Peek a-boo!”

Juno whirled around, ready to throw a punch to his opponent face, but stopped abruptly in his tracks as he was faced with the one and only, Peter Nureyev. The thief smelled like expensive alcohol and wore a dopey smile as if he had forgotten he was supposed to be an asshole for the night.

Peter-Lucius didn’t seem deterred by the show of violence, and threw his arms around Juno's neck, looking for all the world like a lovestruck idiot.

"Hey there..." Peter followed the world with a ridiculous eyebrows wiggle, apparently designed to look sexy and inviting. It was ridiculous, and absolutely had not effect on Juno, at all.

“Are you drunk?” This was… unprecedented. Either Peter was pretending to be drunk to get away from the party, or he had actually managed to get drunk, and probably would be better away from prying eyes and ears. In any case, this was Juno’s cue to get them out of here.

“Maybe I am…” Again with that eyebrow wiggle. Why was Juno attracted to this man again?

“Alright. Party’s over. We’re going back to the hotel.”

Juno untangled himself from Peter to take his hand. The thief didn’t resist the manhandling.

“You know I would follow anywhere… love.”

Juno, not for the first time, wished he was able to control the heat going to his face. Was that his imagination or Peter had almost tripped on his name for a second there? Was he actually drunk under his persona?

Peter followed diligently enough as Juno dove straight for the exit. Maybe he stumbled a bit along the way, but not enough to slow them down. Nobody tried to stop them from leaving, and once outside, Juno felt himself release a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.

The hotel the Palladiums had took a room in was close enough from the mansion that they could walk from one to the other. As soon as they turned the first corner, Peter's stumbling stopped, and he straightened slightly, his grip becoming softer and less desperate in Juno's.

“Are you not actually drunk?”

Peter looked at him, with a smug smile, only to stumble on his next step. The grip Juno still had on his hand was the only reason his head didn't hit the pavement.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, exactly. Only that I am not as drunk as Palladium was.”

Juno snorted a laugh. Peter was back to gripping him tightly, and the missed fall had probably been a move on Peter's part to get an excuse to lean on him like he was now, but he couldn't find it in himself to mind.

"How much did you drink anyway? Those drinks can't have been that strong."

"I drank what was offered to me. Blending in your environment is the number one rule of thieving." Peter turned his nose up in a very Palladium fashion. "Besides, not everyone learns to desensitize themselves from alcohol consumption by age ten."

"What you mean is, you're a lightweight."

Peter's smile, from sharp and smug, turned soft and tender. Juno, like every time, felt as if somehow had pulled the rug from under him only to trip him into a warm and soft place. Disgustingly mushy.

"What if I am?"

Peter crept closer to Juno, until he was in front of him, close enough for the detective to smell the faint, fruity smell of his drinks.

"Does it matter, as long as I have my dashing lady, ready to come for me, riding a beam of sunshine?"

The one hand that wasn’t gripping Juno’s came to rest on his cheek, and Juno Steel felt the world focus in Peter Nureyev’s form until he couldn’t have escaped from the two black eyes in front of him even if he had wanted to.

"Together, Juno, there's nothing we can't do."

And Juno... Juno, despite everything, despite rationality and the ghosts of his past, couldn’t help but believe him.

I’ll try and do a prompt a day. I didn’t get my school so I’ve decided to write a lot out of spite to get it next year.

<3<3<3

[justanoutline]

future looks good (jupeter fic)

summary: after The Final Resting Day, Nureyev keeps waking up alone. So does a certain detective. (Groundhog day! AU)

Peter wakes up. He can do it quickly again. Which is good. He’s losing any softness, and it’s that softness that kills people like him. It’s better this way. One breathe he’s asleep, and then next he’s awake with his lady’s name on his breath. Well. Maybe not his. He looks out the massive windows. Hyperion city looks as beautiful as it did when he first saw it, but, colder than he used to think. He’s alone. Again.

He woke up for the first time three days ago. It was three long days ago, where he doesn’t leave the room for more than a few minutes, with a camera set to alert him if anyone comes by. Sure, call him paranoid. But he doesn’t want to miss it if, well he doesn’t think Juno is coming back. It’s been three days.

Well, he thinks it’s been three days. Except, he keeps waking up to the exact same day. He can’t leave today. It just happens over and over again. He can’t wake up any earlier to stop Juno. The light comes in the same way. The television plays the same shows, the radio the same sounds. The odd thumping comes from upstairs. His comms say the same date. He’s just stuck.

Here are three things he knows:

He has a full 25 hours, before he falls asleep and wakes back up in this bed, in this stupidly nice penthouse (He wonders if the showy hotel scared Juno off). 25 hours means he cannot get off Mars (Juno, also, probably will not leave Mars). Juno Steel is not coming back for him. He is a master thief, and he is trapped, and it is his own fucking fault. He fell in love and gave up his name and he’s paying for it. He doesn’t regret it. He almost hates that fact. But all he can think of is Juno, and how he looked in the moonlight and frankly, he was willing to stay on Mars for this disaster of a man.

So on the fourth day, he wakes up, writes a very short apology, and walks off the balcony.

He doesn’t hit the ground. (Well, he doesn’t think he hits the ground.) He wakes back up in bed, the cold bed, alone, to the same skyline. He’s one part relieved and three parts ready to go scream at someone.

He gets dressed. Nothing flashy. Dark pants and light purple button up. A nice jacket, because Mars is a frozen red rock. It’s got pockets Juno has almost definitely rooted through, and the thought doesn’t make him feel any better. On a whim, he throws on a few necklaces that layer nicely. He catches his reflection and feels subdued. But also protected.

He takes a deep breath. This sucks. This sucks but it can only get better.

He feels better (but he avoids his reflection just in case.)

He makes it to Juno’s office. Rita sits on a chair with her feet kicked up on the desk. An old earth telenovela is playing. Rita is enchanted. (It makes him feel better, to know that she’s still Rita. Maybe there is still room for him and Juno.)

“Agent Glass!” exclaims Rita when she catches sight of him.

“Good morning, Rita,” he says, in a more polite version of Rex Glass’s approach.

“Oooh,” she says, “You’re looking for the boss!” She gives him a look and then a wink and then, for good measure, a nudge. He loves Rita. But he’s starting to get a headache. It’s some combination of the shades of pink and the decibel she feels appropriate.

“Why yes,” he says. “I am looking for Detective Steel.” He takes in the darkness beyond Rita’s little haven, and figures this isn’t where he is hiding.

She gives him yet another look. “You don’t need to be so formal Agent Glass, you can call him Juno.” Her glasses have little rhinestones on them. That’s what’s giving him the headache, the concentrated little bright lights.

“Juno, then,” he says, as lightly as he can. “Do you know where he is?”

“Oh, boss came in about twenty minutes ago. But he just some old files and went home,” says Rita. Then she lowers her voice. “He didn’t look so good Agent Glass.”

“That’s what worries me,” he says. Then the commercials end, she turns to the tv, which means the shiny rhinestones are no longer causing him pain. So he takes his leave. Looks like he’s going to have to make a house call.

He goes to Juno’s crap apartment. He has an excellent memory, and barely focuses more than he has to. He doesn’t mind. He tries to plan what he wants to say. He has no idea.

Instead, he knocks on the door, Juno, who might actually be more alcohol than water, answers. He says, “Nureyev, what the shit?” then he hits the ground, hard.

And he wakes up. Alone. And tries again.

Juno, even more drunk, answers, “Seriously, you too?”

“Yes, Juno,” he says. It sounds endearing, even though is angry. Super angry.

“Shit,” says Juno. “Well, you know what they say, booze heals all hurts.

“Time,” he corrects. “It’s time that heals.”

Juno looks him up and down, “We’ve got plenty of that too.”

(They drink. They drink for hours. They lay half on top of each other. He feels sick, and then he feels better, and then he feels sick again. They aren’t talking, but he can feel Juno breathing under his leg??? And even that’s better. So he keeps drinking. They drink until Juno is crying and Nureyev throws up and Juno holds back his hair and kisses his forehead and then, it goes dark, and Nureyev wakes back up, alone, in the hotel room.)

On the seventh day, Juno meets him at the office. Rita coos. They’re both sober. Peter is never drinking again. Ever. Peter asks, “why did you leave this morning?”

Juno says, “Don’t ask me questions I can’t answer. This isn’t a game.”

And that, that actually hurts. He knows Juno. He knows Juno has issues, and he knows how his moody detective gets when things are mean (cruel, bad, soul-crushing) in his head. He’s forgiven Juno every morning he wakes up alone. He just wants to stop it from happening again. (Not just in the context of not being able to move past today.)

But this is not a game. It’s never been a game. He loves, even if they aren’t good at it.

So he lets Juno walk away.

And he wakes up alone again.

Two full weeks, Juno walks into him, they stop, and Peter asks, “Why did you leave this morning?”

Two full weeks, Juno says something snappy, but not cutting. It’s not a game. Or at least, Juno isn’t trying to make it one. He says “It’s not your fault.” Like that’s somehow supposed to make him feel better.

Then he looks down and walks away. And Peter lets him. He doesn’t make a scene, he just waits until he’s sure that Juno is gone before he starts moving. He waits until he can no longer tell himself that any movement could be Juno coming back. He both loathes and loves his ability to compartmentalize. Sometimes it takes hours before the tears start falling.

On the fifteenth day of asking. Juno changes the script. Which is Peter’s fault, in a roundabout way. He’s waiting on the street, waiting for Juno to come. Juno is late. It’s a full hour and a half later than they usually do this. Peter no longer knows all the people who walk by. It’s new, and that in itself is unsettling. He will wait until the clock resets, if he has to, for Juno. But instead, he hears a commotion in a back alley. So he goes to investigate. It can’t hurt.

There’s a young person with a blaster. They have it pointed at another young person, who is shaking in fear. They mugger calmly explains how the other person is going to turn over all their possessions, slowly . And that’s when Peter sees Juno standing on the other side of alley. And the young mugger also sees Juno.

“You!” shouts the mugger, in a deep voice. “What do you think you’re doing!?”

“Nothing,” says, Juno calmly, “Just a lady out on a stroll.”

“Prove it,” says the youth, closing the gap.

Juno, Juno then punches the mugger. The mugger takes a shot. The second youth runs by Peter without a second thought. And, the moment that gets trapped in Peter’s mind is the one where Juno goes down.

The mugger gets a knife to the femoral artery. Peter’s pretty sure he’ll have it back when he wakes up tomorrow. (It’s not like it’s a favourite knife, so he won’t mind.)

“Juno, you idiot!” he yells as he kneels next to his love. The streets are filthy and he doesn’t care, not with the way Juno is crumpled on them.

His pretty lady turns his head, and smiles. There’s blood in his mouth. God, he has to keep Juno from looking down. “Good to see you, Peter.”

“Juno,” he begs, though he doesn’t know what for. “Don’t be like that.”

“Nureyev, then,” he says. “Ask your question.”

“Are you serious?” Peter responds. “This is how you want to go out?”

“Don’t ask it then,” says Juno. “But, I’m sorry. It was stupid of me.”

“I’m used to that, love,” says Peter. It’s so much later then they are normally out, and they sky has taken on a pink colour that he knows Juno loves. But Juno isn’t looking at the sky.

And Juno smiles up at him, and says, “We can talk about it tomorrow, I’m not done with you yet,” and then he dies in Peter’s arms. Peter can feel his heart stop, his last breathe release. He can feel his tears well up, but they don’t even get a chance to fall before he can feel his own eyes closing.

Peter wakes up, alone. Again. He can feel something painful inside of him. It’s not unlike a broken rib. And he just cries. It’s like all his tears built up, and now he can’t seem to get rid of them fast enough. But then he remembers that he’s awake. He’s awake and alive, and it’s still the same day. He gets dressed. He runs to Juno’s apartment.

Juno opens the door before he can knock. He starts talking before Peter can ask.

“I love you. It makes us both fools. But I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“For fucks sake Juno, I don’t either,” he says, before he really registers the words. Then, before he realizes what he’s saying, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

“I refuse to deal with my depression?” says Juno, almost like it’s a question, but looking down. “And it tried to ruin my life?”

“Well, it’s certainly good to hear you say it.”

“I know it doesn’t fix anything. I’m not stupid,” continues Juno, after a deep breath. “And, neither are you. I trust you, which is new.” He looks up to make eye contact. “But I like it. I’m not going to always get it right. But I’m going to try.”

“Juno, I, I don’t know what to say,” he says. Juno smiles, that beautiful smile, and lifts himself on his toes and kisses Peter.

“That works,” says Peter, when they come up for air. When he looks in Juno’s eyes, it’s like falling in love all over again. So they’ll make it work.

The next morning, Peter wakes up without any clothes on, a petulant detective imitating a octopus, in a crap apartment. He wakes up home.

“I love you,” he says, to the sleeping figure. He debates trying to see if Juno has any food around, if he would be impressed by crepes, and a thousand other little details. Juno, in response, latches on tighter.

“Alright,” he says, to his love, already excited by the chance to wake up together. He likes the look of tomorrow.

[melody-pendras]

hey kids!!!!!!! who’s ready for a jupeter high school au!!!!! i know i am!!!!

Peter Nureyev had only been in Hyperion City for a week, and already Juno was infatuated. Was it Peter’s enigmatic atmosphere, far too confident for a kid who’d moved schools halfway through senior year? Was it his elegant, quick hands? Was it the look in his eye as he smiled from afar at Juno sometimes, like he knew how Juno felt and felt the same way? It didn’t matter. Juno was hooked.

Juno was lying dramatically on the ground behind the school, using his disgusting trench coat as a picnic blanket between him and the grass. (Rita always offered to share her gingham red-and-white one with him. He always refused. He had an aesthetic to uphold.)

“Why does he have to be so goddamn pretty?” Juno said, covering his face with his arm.

“I don’t know. Why don’cha talk tah him?” Rita said, flipping the page of her thrift store romance novel.

Juno sighed and rolled over onto his face. As if someone like Peter would ever want to talk to him. Juno was just some kid who’d lived in Hyperion all his life, and Peter was so…Peter.

They sat like that for a little while, Rita reading, Juno moping. Suddenly, she gasped.

“Juno! JUNO!! Look!! It’s HIM!” she said, elbowing Juno repeatedly. He looked up and saw Peter Nureyev walking towards them.

He scrambled up and tried to look like he’d just woken up from a nap. It wasn’t difficult, considering the bags under his eyes.

“May I sit with you, ladies?” Peter said, eyes sparkling, looking only at Juno.

“Sure,” said Juno, trying to look like he didn’t care that much. It didn’t work.

—

It’s been a couple of months. It was the last day of school before spring break, and Juno Steel had detention. Five unexcused absences were punished with silent lunch. Ten unexcused absences were punished with an after-school detention. Juno had skipped class one too many times. It would be okay, though. An hour in purgatory was a good exchange for ten days out of a much louder, bigger, hell. And hell— it was peaceful. The teacher supervising was reading in the corner, his phone facedown on the table in front of him. Juno studied him (he was sitting sideways in the chair, facing the door, as if he was ready to bolt, which was interesting) before pulling open his backpack to take out the romance novel Rita had loaned to him at the last second. It was quiet. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock. (The teacher didn’t even flip the pages on his book; he was staring at the door.)

Then that door opened and Peter Nureyev walked in.

Juno’s heart started pounding. Peter smiled at him and walked to the seat next to Juno.

“Sorry I’m late, sir,” he said to the teacher.

The teacher looked up for a second, startled out of his trance. “What? Oh. It’s all right.”

Peter opened his mouth to speak again, but the teacher’s phone rang loudly. He sprang to his feet and snatched it off his desk. “Oh! It’s my wife! She’s having our baby, finally, thank God. Can I leave you boys here?”

Peter smiled. “But of course! Give your wife my congratulations.”

The teacher walked quickly towards the door. He paused at the threshold. “Have a wonderful spring break,” he said. As the door closed, his quick footsteps made a discordant rhythm with Juno’s heartbeat until he was out of earshot.

Peter, still standing, casually leaned on his arm on Juno’s desk and looked over his shoulder seductively. “So, Juno,” he said. “We’re alone.”

Juno couldn’t focus with Peter’s lean arm right there like that. How awful. He may as well have been a character in that book Rita let him borrow. He broke his stare and reached down to zip up his backpack. “I’m going home.”

Peter reached out and put his hand on Juno’s. Juno froze. “Why leave so soon, Juno? We have the whole school to ourselves and we have plenty of time.” He laced his fingers between Juno’s.

Juno couldn’t think about anything other than Peter’s long, elegant fingers against his palm. His stomach did flips.

“Come on,” Peter said, pulling Juno away from his desk and out into the hallway. Juno wanted to ask where they were going, but he couldn’t think. He’d pined after Peter for months. And now it was just the two of them. And he didn’t know what the hell Peter wanted. But he definitely knew that he wanted Peter.

They arrived at the auditorium. Peter turned on a spotlight and led Juno to the stage. Softly, he let go of Juno’s hand, their fingers lingering for just a second before contact was broken. He walked backstage, leaving Juno freaking out on the proscenium.

When he came back, Juno thought he could hear his heart stop. Peter looked…incredible. When was the last time Juno really, really stared at him this close? They were within arms’ reach now.

Peter sat down on the edge of the stage and looked out over the empty seats. Carefully, Juno sat down next to him, just close enough that their knees graze a little.

Peter put his hand on the floor between them and looked into Juno’s eyes. Juno could barely keep eye contact.

“Do you know why I got detention, Juno?” Peter said softly.

It took Juno a second to wrap his mind around words again. (There were other things his mind was wrapping itself around.) Still, he couldn’t manage anything coherent.

Peter smiled and broke eye contact. He removed his hand from its position next to Juno’s thigh and used it to open his jacket. He reached into the pocket and pulled out a pearl necklace. “I stole this from the principal,” he said.

“Oh,” said Juno. Goddamn it! Why couldn’t he think of anything more flirtatious or suave or— hell— coherent?

Peter started to undo the clasp on the necklace. “But, detective, do you know why I stole it?”

Juno felt like he was in a dream. He watched Peter’s hands undo the lobster clasp, the long peach-painted nails catching the sliver of metal.

“I stole it for you, Juno. Come here.”

He leaned in and reached around Juno, his head brushing against Juno’s ear, his hands grazing the back of Juno’s neck as he fastened the necklace again. Juno’s only thoughts were about how close Peter was. And the fact that he cared enough to steal something just for Juno. Which made no sense.

“You stole this…for me?”

“Yes, Juno. I knew you would have detention today, so I planned a crime that was sure to land me in there with you. I just happened to obtain a gift for you along the way. Killed two birds with one stone, as it were.” He leaned back and smiled. Juno looked down at the necklace.

“But…why…me? Why would someone like you EVER care about someone like me??” He started to raise his volume unintentionally. “You’re— you’re so much better than me! Why the hell would you— I’m just some kid who’s lived in Hyperion City his whole goddamn life! I’m not worth your time!”

Peter’s eyes melted into concern. “Is that what you think, Juno? That you’re…beneath me?”*

Juno looked away. “I’m not good enough for you, Nureyev. You’re— you’re the stars, and I’m…so much less than that.” He sighed. “I just don’t get why you’re doing this.”

“Juno…” Peter stopped and touched Juno’s wrist. “I’m doing this because I like you, you idiot.” Juno froze.

Peter put his hand on the side of Juno’s face and leaned in to kiss him. It was soft and sweet.

“Oh,” said Juno.

—

PS: they become sappy boyfriends. Peter gives Juno roses all the time and Juno has polaroids of him attached to his walls. They’re on the phone all the time. And guess what!! No sad hotel room scenes!!!

—

(* i mean... yea lol)

[ernmark]

Jupeter based on "Yesteryear" by Rosi Golan

Here’s the song, if you’re not familiar:

For those who don’t know me very well, I’m the kind of person who really enjoys the overlay of songs like “Ave Maria” and “What A Wonderful World” over chaotic battle scenes, just because of the stark contrast is weirdly pleasing to me. 

So that’s what the soft ukulele and sweet voice brings to my mind. 

Add to that the lyrics of the song, and… well, it just so happens to fill this prompt, too:

“You’re going to be fine. Juno, you’re going to be fine.” 

What do you mean ‘going to be’? I am fine. You’re here.

God, I never thought I’d see your face again, but here you are. Here you are touching me– I didn’t even dare to dream that would ever happen again, after the way I left.

“I’m sorry,” I say. My words are hazy; I can barely keep them in my mouth. “I was an idiot.”

“Yes, of course you were,” he says. “And we’re going to have a very long discussion about not walking into buildings full of gangsters, but later. As soon as you’re better. As soon as that damned ambulance arrives!” He raises his voice and looks wildly around him, like the drivers have incredible timing and magically arrive just as he says the words.

Like they’d be in any hurry to get to Oldtown. 

It’s a coin toss whether they’ll come at all. Depends on how busy the hospitals are today. Depends on how dangerous it is to be in other parts of the city. Depends on traffic.

Depends on a lot of things, is what I’m saying, and none of them matter right now, because he’s here.

“That’s not what I mean,” I say, dragging my thoughts back to him. It’s so hard to focus. I don’t want to let my mind wander to anything but him. “I never… I never should’ve left. I should’ve…” 

“No, you shouldn’t have, and that’s another thing we’re going to discuss later, Juno.” His voice catches, and he tightens the pressure on my leg, like he can stop the bleeding. “Later. When you’re well.” 

His hair falls into his face, and I reach out to brush it aside. “God, you’re beautiful.” Even though when my hand comes away, there’s a streak of blood where I touched him. “I should’ve told you that. Every single minute…”

“I’m flattered, Juno, but I imagine that would make for rather tiring conversation after a while.” He flashes a smile, but it’s brittle and frail. He looks like he’s on the edge of panic. “Help is going to be here any minute, Juno. It’s…” The smile cracks, and the terror shows through. “It is coming, isn’t it?” 

“It’s going to be fine.” I lay my hand on his cheek. He’s warm– or maybe my hand is cold. “Everything is going to be fine.” 

“Damn them,” he hisses. “I’ll– I’ll steal a car. Just give me a moment, and I’ll–” 

But the moment he pulls his hand away from my leg, the blood starts pouring again. He cries out, horrified, and throws both his hand over the stab wound. 

“Don’t leave.” My hand folds in the edge of his coat. “I know I don’t–” Dammit, I’m begging. But he’s worth begging for. “I’m sorry. Please. Please stay.”

His shoulders sag, and he crumples forward. 

“Alright, Juno,” he whispers, leaning his head against mine. Maybe it’s started raining, because I can feel something warm and wet on my cheeks. “Alright. I’ll stay.” 

In the distance, I can hear somebody shouting. The voice sounds familiar, but I’m drifting.

“C’mon, you two,” says the voice. “If you’re gonna do that in the alley, then do it behind the dumpster. Kids play in these alleys, dammit.” 

“Goddammit, Mick,” I mutter, mostly a reflex before I realize it really is him.

Nureyev looks up, wide-eyed, frantic, and covered in my blood. 

“Woah!” Mick says, backing up a step. “Hold on, man. I don’t want any trouble. I’m just–” He stops short. “Wait– is that– Jay?” And then, with horror and sudden fury. “What the hell did you do to Jay, you– you vampire?” 

Vampire? Oh, come on, Mercury. But he’s already storming down the alley toward us, ready to bust in heads as only an Oldtown local can. 

“You’re a friend of Juno’s?” Nureyev fumbles, pressing his full weight into my wound with one hand and raising the other in supplication. “Listen to me, he’s hurt. He’s–” His eyes focus for a moment too long on his blood-soaked hand. “We need to get him to a hospital, and quickly. Do you have a car?” 

Mick stares, already caught up in the force of Nureyev’s personality. “I– no? I could probably jack one, if you gave me twenty minutes–”

“He doesn’t have that kind of time.” 

Mick reaches down and grabs a brick off the alley floor. “Then give me two. Hold on, Jay, I’ll be right back.” 

[sapirserket]

why 'call me maybe' is a jupeter song: an essay by junosteelwearskfccrocs (part one: murderous mask) (but there's also a spoiler for season 3 so..)

let's analyze some lyrics, shall we?

1. "I threw a wish in the well

Don't ask me I'll never tell"

this is clearly peter's point of view. peter's 'wish' was to always move on and never connect to anyone. but of course, he cannot tell that to anyone, because then it literally wouldn't be able to come true, because it would reveal who he really is - not just another character he plays.

"I looked at you as it fell

And now you're in my way"

peter came to hyperion to do his job (and then move on and be whoever he decides to be today), but then he saw juno crawling out that window and (cecil palmer voice) fell in love instantly. he didn't like that feeling, because it meant it would be harder to leave (= his wish "falling" and breaking apart). juno is standing in his way and now peter can't run away from his problems. (it's for the better tho. poor boi wears heels 24/7, his legs need some rest).

2. "I'd trade my soul for a wish

Pennies and dimes for a kiss"

this could be read two ways; the first is that peter left his old self behind to get his wish.

the second is why this is a separate point from the other things i said already - this is clearly foreshadowing peter's debts in the third season (credit to peter transom on discord. you're a genius and i probably wouldn't write this if you hadn't said that)

3. "Hot night, wind was blowin'

Where you think you're going baby?"

as we all know from the educational space podcast known as the penumbra, there are a lot of sandstorms on mars. thus, wind was probably blowin'.

the 'where you think you're going baby?' is either referring to the end of murderous mask when nureyev wanted to spend the night with juno and juno arrested him after one (1) kiss, or (more probably) to juno being an idiot, and peter not knowing where tf juno is going, juno why are you putting cologne in the microwave juno nO-

4. "Hey, I just met you and this is crazy

But here's my number, so call me maybe"

pretty self explanatory. also, it's not his number, it's his name. also, the next time they see each other, it's because juno called him.

"And all the other boys try to chase me"

all the people peter had seduced while he was stealing literally everything they own and then left them try to chase after him, but they can't. he's just too damn good at Be Gay Do Crimes.

[wendy-comet]

Jupeter prompt 007

@bloodsoakedstrex I am also using this to count for your “I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on” prompt, even though I fudged it a little. there’s still crying it counts. ANYWAY. this is a direct sequel to this proposal fic (oh yes) please read that one first.

my heart on my chest (so that you can feel it too)

The hospital was cool, thin blankets and gowns doing as much as they could to keep out the chill but falling short.

Juno was glad of his jacket, and he pulled it tighter around himself as he sat in the hard plastic chair. He’d pulled the chair as close to Nureyev’s bed as he could and had been waiting for him to wake up for… He wasn’t actually sure at this point. It had been a while.

His head hurt and his stomach was growling like an angry rabbit, but Juno refused to leave until he knew for sure Nureyev would be okay.

The doctor in charge said he’d be fine, they’d removed the bullet that was trying to settle too close to some internal organs and fully dressed the wound. But Nureyev had lost a lot of blood, and it had been touch and go for too long. So Juno was worried, and he was not going to go anywhere until he saw Nureyev open his eyes and was assured he was okay.

He’d gotten into the hospital with Nureyev by claiming they were Duke and Dahlia Rose again, and of course no one would throw out a man’s husband.

So here Juno sat, clutching Nureyev’s hand with both of his own, bowed over the bed like he’s praying. (He was. He was more than fairly certain that even if anyone was listening, they didn’t care, but he prayed anyway.)

At the first twitch of movement from Nureyev, Juno sat up, gaze immediately focused on his… fiancé? He wasn’t sure what to call him now, not, officially, but none of that mattered because Nureyev was blinking awake.

He caught Juno’s eye, and the grin he offered up was still weak but the sharp teeth and mischievous eyes were all Nureyev. “Did I die?” he murmured, and squeezed Juno’s hand. “Because you must be an angel.”

Juno couldn’t help himself. He started laughing, laughing so hard he was crying - he’d maybe wanted to cry for the past hour, but hadn’t let himself. It was all bubbling to the surface at once, in a mess of gross laughing sobs and Nureyev trying to pull him closer in concern, gunshot wound be damned. He could still cry from both eye sockets, he realized, trying to rub the dampness from his face with one hand and not letting go of Nureyev with the other. That was weird.

“Juno, Juno, darling, I’m sorry, are you alright?” Nureyev was still holding Juno as close as he could get without Juno actually being in the hospital bed, reaching up to wipe away an errant tear. “I didn’t think the joke was that bad - just, tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m fine,” Juno sniffed, and once the crying and laughing had subsided all that was left was an idiotically large grin that he couldn’t seem to stop. “You’re an idiot,” he said, and leaned down to kiss Nureyev. “And you almost died,” he breathed between kisses, “and maybe I like you more than I’d ever anticipated.”

Nureyev laughed and it was sunshine until it trailed off into coughing. Juno drew back, one hand still clasped in Nureyev’s and the other tangled in Nureyev’s hair. “You just went through surgery,” he said, when Nureyev had finished coughing and had started reaching back up for Juno. “Somehow, I don’t think sex was in the doctor’s list of relaxing activities you’re supposed to do until your skin knits back together.”

When Nureyev pouted, Juno’s resolve was sorely tested. “Junebug, I’m sure we can have very relaxing sex.”

“… Not here,” Juno folded like a losing hand of Rangian Street Poker, but he would like to think that he had some standards. “Can you at least wait until you’re discharged from the hospital, or am I just that irresistible?”

“Oh, Juno, you’re always irresistible,” Nureyev purred, but he lay back against the pillows and did not keep trying to seduce Juno. Which was very lucky, because in the face of Nureyev’s flushed lips and dark eyes, Juno wasn’t sure his standards could have held up much longer. “At least come closer, perhaps? I’m cold.”

That was a request Juno was happy to answer, and he carefully slipped into the hospital bed next to Nureyev. They were quiet for a moment as they settled into each other, limbs intertwined and extra-cautious around the wound in Nureyev’s side.

Then Juno spoke. “How much do you remember of how you got shot?”

“Most of it,” Nureyev murmured, “I have an excellent memory.” He was close enough that Juno could feel Nureyev’s breath stirring his hair. Could smell his cologne, only just noticeable over the scent of blood and hospital chemicals.

“Do you remember-”

“-Proposing? Of course, Juno.” Nureyev sat up a little, just enough to look Juno in the eyes. “I’m not the kind of man who goes back on his word.”

Juno leaned up to kiss him, just lightly. “I’m glad.”

He didn’t say anything else, didn’t say anything about how much he was stupid in love with the man on the hospital bed, didn’t say that there’d been a couple of hours when he’d been goddamn terrified Nureyev wouldn’t make it through, didn’t say how he’d marry him under a hundred different names, a hundred different times.

He got the feeling Nureyev could guess that much on his own.

“So,” Juno said, after a long minute. “Wanna place bets on how excited Rita will be when she finds out I’m engaged?”

Nureyev chuckled, but it was slow and weary and his eyes were closing again - once, twice. “Maybe she can give you away at the wedding,” he mumbled, and fell asleep with his head resting on Juno’s and tucked as close as he can be to his detective without disturbing his wound.

Juno smiled, and let himself relax. Maybe he could catch a quick nap before the doctor came back…