#just a fun little meta/head canon to bring me joy after a long day

[rainbowfoxes]

IDW! Raph Should be a Cat-Boy, Here's Why

Good evening (or whenever this post may find you) I have a silly little theory for you today.

(A brief content warning: the comic pages shown here do depict two animals fighting. Just a heads up)

So as we all know, Mutagen tends to work like so:

Critter + Ooze + DNA of Another Critter = Mutant

Simple, easy, consistent, right?

However

In issue #3 of IDW's run, we learn how itty bitty not-yet-a-mutant Raphael got separated from the other turtles. The stray cat that would go on to be Old Hob had scooped him up with every intent to eat him, and little Raphie was lost in the scuffle when Splinter came to his rescue, as you can see below:

{Start Image ID: Three pages from IDW's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles issue #3. Set in an alley, the pre-mutated turtles, Splinter, and Old Hob stand in a pool of glowing green mutagen. Old Hob has snatched one of the baby turtles, Raphael, into his mouth with intent to eat him. Splinter attacks Old Hob to save the turtle. Raphael is lost in the scuffle, Splinter sustains a serious leg injury, and Old Hob loses one of his eyes. Old Hob flees the scene. :End Image ID}

That glowing green goo up there? That's mutagen. Everyone is getting covered in it. But it also means that Raph-a-little's first post-mutagen exposure DNA contact is Old Hob, a cat. It also means that the most significant presence of outside DNA on little Raphie is feline DNA.

Ergo, Raph's a cat-boy.

Now what does this mean in practice? Whatever you want, I'm not a cop. Does he have a luttle fuzzy tail and toe beans? Cat eyes and sharp teeth? does he get high off of catnip? Up to you! Do whatever sparks joy. 🌈

Preemptive Counter-Arguments:

Wait, doesn't this mean Splinter is part cat, too? And part turtle? Yes, but this isn't about him.

Doesn't it also mean that the other turtles are part rat? See above.

Doesn't it ALSO mean that Old Hob — See. Above.

Okay, but what about the Mutagen Bomb and Mutant Town? We never see any hybrid mutants there! Look. Look. If I had to design dozens of unique anthropomorphic characters that I could reliably draw the same way each time, and that other artists who I may never talk to can ALSO reliably draw the same way each time and keep them identifiable as the same characters? I'd walk into oncoming traffic. Making any or all of those characters hybrids between two or more species? Forget about it. I could look at Sophie Campbell's art all day, but I would not wish such a task on my worst enemy. Plus writing wise? It gives them an easy way to power scale mooks like Bebop and Rocksteady. What's scarier than a rhino man with no regard for the laws of men? A rhino man with no regards for the laws of men who is also a shark.

Fine, but where'd their human DNA come from? Not that it really matters, but probably the Foot genin who put the turtles in that sack in the first place (you can see he isn't wearing gloves in the flashback from issue #2, if you care to look). Or maybe from all the scientists that handled them on the daily, seeing as they were lab animals. Or the alley they're in in those pages up there. Do you know what people do in alleys? There's probably hundreds of unique samples of human DNA in the square foot they're standing in alone.

But they're TURTLES not CAT-BOYS!!!!! This is you:

{Start Image ID: The classic, unedited "NO FUN ALLOWED" robot with a sign meme. :End Image ID}

Go forth and prosper with this new knowledge. If you make any fanworks based on this fun little headcanon, tag me in it or shoot me a link. I wanna see all the little cat-boy Raphs.

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight : Syntheticpoetry Day 3

Author : @syntheticpoetry​ 

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Until it feels right.  I don't have a set number.  I'll just keep revisiting it and seeing if I am satisfied or if it needs tweaking.  I'm trying to expand now and invite beta readers in to overlook things for me because there are definitely things I always miss on my own.

If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

There is one that I never finished, but I hope to revisit and rewrite one day called Caught In The Lie.  I would LOVE to revamp what I have and then expand on it.  It's about Blaine being transgender (ftm) and the evolution of his relationship with Kurt (friendship to unexpected romance). 

What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who will be completely honest in their critiques and unafraid to ask questions about things they don't understand.

If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Lately I've been binge reading All the Other Ghosts and feeling really compelled to delve into writing for the superhero AU.  I have yet to read the sequel, so undetermined if I would want to write something after the fact or a prequel, but that's the fic I feel pretty strongly towards right now.

Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I definitely take liberties with canon.  I love little canon easter eggs (who doesn't, right?!) but I feel like I lean towards canon divergence.

Talk about a review that made your day.

I took a long break from writing after Cory Monteith died.  I wasn't even a huge Finn fan, but I just remember how shocking and difficult it was to return to the fandom after it had happened.  I got a review on And the World Spins Madly on that said even though the story was unfinished, they found it completely worth reading and that even though they were new to the Glee fandom I became one of their favourite authors.  The ended it by saying "Just wanted you to know that the stories you created a long time ago are still bringing new joy."  I honestly cried when I read it.  It had been so, so long since I had written anything and seeing that honestly first planted the idea in my head to return to the Glee fandom and finish what I had started.  Without it, I'm not sure I would have found my way back the way that I did, so shoutout to Klaineydaze for your review on FF.net and reigniting that spark of creativity in my life again.

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I've honestly been pretty lucky to not have received any rude reviews.  All of my reviews have been pretty positive and the only criticism I have really received has been pretty constructive. 

What advice do you have for people just starting to write?

Write for yourself.  Write because it makes you happy.  Don't focus on the kudos, or the favourites, or the reviews— those are just bonuses.  Share it with people you love and trust and be proud that you have decided to create anything at all, because most people who criticize and complain don't even take that step.  And don't ever let anyone make you feel like you should stop.  Write as long as you are inspired to write, and don't feel obligated to do so when you are not.  Have FUN.

Which fic do you most like to discuss with other people? Why?

Probably Go Your Own Way or Little Numbers.  Predictable response, I know, but these two fics had SUCH an impact on my life and the fact that Zavocado went on to publish his own series based off of GYOW honestly just gives me so much hope and inspiration of doing the same one day.

What's one aspect of writing fic that gets you really excited?

Writing is a verbal playground.  I love getting to toy around with headcanons and seeing other people's reactions to that.  I love the meta analysis aspect of fanfiction and the conversations it creates between fans.  Writing, reading, and sharing fic just makes me feel so connected to others in a way that people who are not in the fandom may not be able to comprehend.

***

Check out Syntheticpoetry’s fics: 

The Ghosts That We Knew - Blaine Anderson is no stranger to hospitals and has been volunteering on the pediatric unit of Lima General Hospital for years when Kurt Hummel comes along. After Blaine is attacked at his school's Sadie Hawkins Dance, he has his best friend Kurt to help him deal with the aftermath. And when Kurt becomes the target of the McKinley football team's bullying campaign, he can count on Blaine to have his back.AU where Blaine transfers to McKinley instead of Dalton. Set during season 1.A story of two best friends finding courage to face their bullies and discovering love along the way.

Kintsugi - Kurt and Blaine have a mature heart to heart involving Blaine's insecurities. Tested reaction fic where I just really gratuitously expanded on the dialogue and included the missing smut scene that very obviously must have occurred off camera.

Hips Don’t Lie -  Blaine has a hard time getting dressed for school during Kurt's first day in New York. Or that time Kurt makes Blaine dance to Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie.

[snowflakechallenge]

2020 SNOWFLAKE INTRODUCTION

What does the Snowflake Challenge mean to me? Well, a lot of things, actually. I love seeing everyone interact in such a positive manner. I'm inspired by those who step out of their comfort zone to participate. I'm heartened to see the sheer amount of joy the challenge brings. I love watching the collaboration behind the scenes with the mods, and am honored each time I'm asked to be part of it. I cannot imagine starting my year without being involved with the Snowflake Challenge, to be honest. It gets me re-involved in fandom, right from the start of the year. It gives me a venue to meet wonderful new people and be awed by their talents. It gives me the chance to dip my toes into new fandoms, and see what they're all about. – mizface

Welcome to Fandom Snowflake Challenge 2020! The first Snowflake Challenge of the new decade!

If you’re a veteran Snowflake participant, welcome back; if this is your first year, welcome aboard! All of your mods, old and new, are excited to be bringing you a new round of challenges.

My name is Seleneheart and this will be my second year as a moderator. For me, the days after the holidays are difficult because everyone leaves, back to their regular lives, and the good times we shared have ended until the next occasion. I am looking forward to the return of Fandom Snowflake Challenge more than ever. Participating helps me reconnect with old friends and meet new ones, in addition to giving me a motivating kick in the pants in regard to my fannish life.

On odd-numbered days from January 1-31, we will post a fannish challenge. The first challenge will be to tell us about yourself - just a simple (or complicated) introduction so we can get to know each other. Some challenges will be no-brainers. Some will be a little more involved. Sometimes you'll post in your own journal and drop a link in the challenge post. Sometimes all you'll have to do is say, "I did it!" in the comment section of that particular day's post. By the way, you never have to unlock your posts. Just comment to let us know that you completed the day's challenge and we're good.

This is meant to be a low stress challenge, not a soul-killing endurance test. You only do the challenges you choose, the ones you feel comfortable doing. We aren't keeping track, and we aren't going to issue a failing grade if you don't complete a challenge. Of course, the goal is to stretch your limits—that's why it's called a challenge—but not to the point of breaking! We're supposed to be having fun here.

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge is for everyone: all fandoms, all media, and all platforms; fandoms of one or ten thousand and one or something in between. You can be focused only on canon, or prefer alternative universes. You can ship real people, strictly fictional characters, or some combination of the two. You don't have to ship anyone at all. Fandom itself can be your fandom. We love meta about ourselves! (Who doesn’t??)

For the purposes of this challenge, a fanwork is defined as all creative endeavors for a fandom. This can be everything from meta to fic writing to picspamming to hosting a comment-ficathon to running a challenge. Yes to vidding and podficcing and reccing and pretty much anything you can think of. Do we want your crafts, your knitted Wonderwoman dolls, repurposed rubber duckies, and MCU finger puppets? Bring 'em on! Do you write promo posts for your favorites? Fantastic. Star Wars quote lists, Touhou Project wiki entries, Trek canon guides, Lost time-lines, X-Files episode recaps and/or action movie reviews? Excellent. Gifsets. Graphics. Fanart. Yes, yes and yes. Concert write-ups. Filking. Icons. Hello Kitty/Star Trek fusion tattoo designs. Yes, please. The bottom line is this: if you spent your valuable time and emotional energy creating it, it fits under the general heading of "fanwork."

Although Fandom Snowflake Challenge is being hosted on DW, if you don't have an account here, please feel free to comment anonymously and sign your (fan)name. You can also sign in with OpenID, which allows you to use your LJ (and other platform) credentials to comment. We want everyone to be able to participate, regardless of where you hang your fandom hat: LJ or DW, dA or Mibba, FanFiction.net or AO3, mailing lists or old-school BBS. If you are on Tumblr, you can add @snowflakechallenge. If you're on Twitter, add 2020snowflake. For Pillowfort, Snowflake Challenge. Come one, come all to Fandom Snowflake Challenge.

Tomorrow the master post for 2020 will be sticky-posted to the top of the community to help us navigate this year's challenges.

One more thing. This challenge is about celebrating fandom itself and the awesome people in it. One way we can do that is by interacting with each other. Every time you visit the journal of a fellow participant and comment on what they're sharing, you are helping to create this community. Fandom is about love: love of books and writers, movies and actors, music and musicians, comics and their creators, etc., but it's also about being with and appreciating other fans, and letting them know they matter.

Think of Fandom Snowflake Challenge as a 15-challenge, month-long love meme to Fandom. Go forth and spread the love!

[jemariel]

Sherlock, Supernatural, and How I Am Trying to Take Shipping Less Seriously

I want to tell my story. 

(tl;dr: I have a lot more fun with shipping when I don’t worry about whether or not it will ever be canon. OR: Never put that much faith in the hands of showrunners. It always ends BAD.gif)

I wrote most of this post months ago and it’s been rotting away in my drafts since maybe March? It seemed like a good time to actually post it. This is my own personal perspective, where I’m coming from on this. Obviously everyone’s feelings and opinions are 100% their own and I respect that. We’re all coming from somewhere.

Soooo. I’ve been lurking in various fandoms for a long time. I started in 2001, when I was 14. I’ve seen a lot of changes in fandom and the internet and how we interact with our favorite media. Now seemed like a good time for me to sort through this.

My first OTP was in Highlander. It was, for all intents and purposes, a dead fandom when I arrived. The show had been cancelled 5 years before I even discovered that other people wrote and posted their fanfiction, and one half of my pairing was dead for the final series. The pair I read about maybe shared half an hour of screen time through the whole three seasons they were both in the show? They had very little plot interaction at least.

I didn’t care. It didn’t stop me from reading about them. Didn’t stop me from wanting to put them in the same room and see what happened – usually them getting on like a house on fire.

The point is that we were under absolutely no impression that they would ever become canon. There was literally no possibility for it. But that didn’t matter. We could do what we wanted. We were just having fun.

After Highlander came Harry Potter. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. I don’t remember if I started shipping them before or after the 4th book but it was definitely long before the 5th book. This was the first time I had the inkling that maybe, possibly, JK Rowling might have actually intended them to be read that way. This is where I read my first meta, before it was called that – someone who went through the books and pulled out excerpts that made a person think. Wow that eye contact really did linger, I thought. Maybe that embrace wasn’t strictly brotherly, I said to myself.

At the time, queerbaiting was not even a word in the vernacular. So when the 6th book came out and Tonks and Remus became the most eyebrow-raising pairing I’ve ever encountered, I just shrugged and went on with my life. Sirius was dead anyway so this really changed nothing. I liked Remus the gay uncle werewolf, but bisexual was fine too. I mostly wrote and read about them during their school days anyway. So this was fine.

Eventually I moved on, and where I landed after that was in the grand daddy of all slash pairings, the first fandom in our current fanfiction zeitgeist: Star Trek, the Original Series. Kirk and Spock. This was still a couple of years before the 2009 reboot movies, so all I had was a cheesy 60s TV show with a venerable back catalogue of fanfic. What’s better, this ship could never be sunk! Of course they couldn’t ever be canon, it was the 60s. Times were different. I could ship them with fervor and never be disappointed because of course it was just our interpretation. … Wasn’t it?

Oh, Gene Roddenberry. You idealistic sonuvabitch. You created the Vulcan word “t’hy’la” specifically for Spock to use for Kirk, and you made it mean friend, brother, and lover? Was that really necessary or were you trying to tell us something?

Here I found more fledgling meta, and I went through the novelizations of the movies with a highlighter devouring every piece of evidence I could find. But while this ship was unsinkable, it would also never fly. Even if Roddenberry had intended this, or supported it after the fact, prejudice surely had kept his intentions in the background. Subtext was our friend. We could work with subtext. The subtext wove a gay love story the likes of which we haven’t seen since the ancient Greeks. I was happy with that.

But then.

2010. Sherlock.

I knew going into it that Holmes and Watson were the greatest love story never told. I figured it would be a fun pairing for a while. But oh. I was not prepared. And oh, be still my beating heart, the Angelo’s scene! If I recall correctly I actually sat up straighter in my chair at “so you’ve got a boyfriend then”/”No.” Could they… could he? Did they actually…? Was this written for… me? For us? Could we, the weird little corner of the fandom be right for once?? The slash shippers, the queer kids, the ones who had been peering between the lines for decades to try and catch glimpses of ourselves in our favorite stories?

I buried the thought for a few years, devouring Johnlock fanfic like it was my job, my civic duty, my vocation. I waited patiently for each new series. But I never actually expected anything to come of my hopes until after season 3.

Bet you guessed it. TJLC had caught me like a spark in dry grass. The few analyses I’d read before were NOTHING compared to this. Suddenly it all seemed so possible. So real. After The Abominable Bride it seemed like there was nowhere else to go, nowhere to go but up. We were right. WE WERE RIGHT! For a whole year, we got to relish the thought that it might actually happen.

…………….. Season 4 was… tough. It felt like a slap in the face, all of our hopes thrown back at us with ignorance at best, cruelty and direct malice at worst. If it had been a good season on its own without canon Johnlock I might have been okay, but as it is….. It was not the first time I’ve had my heart broken by a TV show, and probably only seems like the worst by virtue of being recent. But I would very much like it to be the last.

A few months before diving head-first into the pre season-4 gear-up, I watched a few seasons of Supernatural. Just enough to meet Castiel and lay the groundwork for a Destiel obsession as a contingency plan for if season 4 of Sherlock went all pear shaped. I’m glad I did or I don’t know where I would have found my refuge.

But I started to notice something. From my earliest wading in the Destiel end of the tumblr pond, I shied away quickly from any discussion of evidence, subtextual clues used to make predictions, or whether or not Destiel could or should or will be canon. I still take all meta and spec I read with a healthy pinch of salt. I am trying very hard not to care about whether or not it becomes canon, because honestly? I miss the days when whether or not a ship was canon or had a snowball’s chance of ever becoming so had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I shipped it.

Fandom is just one of many echo chambers that the internet has molded around every one of us. It is so easy to become convinced that our way is right and everyone else’s way is wrong, because we only hear our own voices and those of people we agree with reflected back at us.

We are not the arbiters of what happens in canon. The showrunners are NOT obligated to listen to us. Not everyone can be right, and the showrunners cannot listen to everyone. Nor should they. They are, for better or for worse, creating their own story. Not ours.

We can always write the story the way we want to, over and over in countless different ways. These days I see a show almost more as a set of toys to play with than as its own impermeable whole. I can believe that Dean and Castiel have been slowly falling in love over the course of the last decade. I can decide when and where I want them to have first admitted it, to themselves or each other. What’s more – I can change my mind. Some days I like believing that they’ve been together since Cas’s hand print was still fresh on Dean’s shoulder. Some days I’d rather believe that they’re still pining and in various states of denial. Or anything in between – it’s all equally valid. Once it’s said and stated in canon, that’s it. That’s the show. That’s how it happened. I like the freedom I have when my ship is not explicitly canon. The best is when they are clearly aware of it and give us moments like the mixtape or the Fanfiction Gap of 9x06 – new toys to play with – but let us shape what’s actually going on. As I say in my tags sometimes: They clearly love us and want us to have nice things.

All of this is NOT to say that up-and-coming queer kids do not richly need and deserve representation. God, not at all. I beat myself up about this a lot, for what feels like a terribly selfish desire to just enjoy it and not worry about whether or not the up and coming queer youth could have it better than I did. They can and they should and I still believe that season 4 of Sherlock was the biggest missed opportunity in queer cinema history.

I just can’t take it so personally anymore. For the sake of my favorite hobby, I cannot stake my enjoyment of a pairing and a show on whether or not the showrunners want to take the risk. I cannot let them dangle me on that particular string. I cannot give them that power over me. 

So this is my manifesto, for me personally. If Destiel becomes canon? I will be over the moon. But I will not go hunting for it. I won’t expect it. I will cherish every gift that the showrunners give to us because they’re not obligated to give us a damn thing, so I can’t take what they do give us for granted. I will live my headcanons, write my fics, and I will love the show for what it is, warts and all. I will ship my ship, enthusiastically and with my whole heart, because it brings me joy to do so. Canon or no canon. @starsinursa @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow