#just chill thoughts i have in the middle of work LMAO

[slowdesire]

sometimes (almost everyday) i think about how i wish i was the kind of writer who has something meaningful to say and can write for free from the heart out of my own volition. but the reality for years now really has been that i only write consistently by putting myself in situations where others require it of me

[essektheylyss]

You know, with the fact that Ryn went and got herself petrified within a day of finding out just how willing the Ruby Vanguard are to fuck a wizard up, I do think that, while the bar is very low, Essek (as he is during the course of the campaign) really does deserve some credit for never ending up in such a self-imposed pickle that he needed his allied party to show up and save him from himself. In fact, the only time the Nein directly felt the need to worry about him was when Caleb put him in danger without thinking through certain connections that would be made, and even then, that was more of Caleb feeling guilt-ridden about it than actual worrying.

And to be very clear, Essek absolutely was and still to this day in canon is in a massive, self-imposed pickle, but when it actually comes down to it, the Nein were pretty tangential and superfluous to navigating that, and he's predominantly doing the work himself.

[anadiasmount]

day in the life w bf!jude but your sick and not well/feeling so down. jude being all caring and protecting while you are mentally drained and hurt (like my throat LMAO) he’s all taking care of you and immediately on bf protection mode. when you wake up, to when you’re both out, to when you’re both visiting his moms, showering, to when it’s time for bed . then before bed he’s holding you so comfortably, endlessly asking if your okay or if you need anything or to take your thoughts on the pain away, asking you want to watch something w him?

would be the biggest and softest bf ever :(( NEED HIM NOW 😔😔

it was strange to jude you hadn’t woken up early, in the kitchen either on your online class or making your gifted smoothies. it was almost 11am when jude returned from his morning run, walking into your shared room where your were completely tucked in your sheets, head barely peaking as you slept.

jude frowned, walking quietly and sitting on the bed, where you didn’t budge. “y/n? darling? you okay?” he whispered, brushing his fingers on your cheek and tucking your messy and all over the place hair back. you groaned turning away from him, ducking under the covers, “let me sleep! it’s so early jude!” you complain.

“it’s almost 11:30 love…” jude reclaimed, running his hand and massaging the middle of your bare back. “so? still early…” you tried to defend but ended up sneezing and sniffling. “are you sick?” asked jude, immediately opening your night desk drawer and looking for cold and flu pills. it explained your mood and tiredness.

“shh stop talking… my head hurts really bad jude,” you whined, covering your ears. you hated being sick, and it was super rare when you did. though when you were, it was the worst. constant headaches, runny nose all day, congested nose and throat, and body chills, aches all over, which made it hard to do anything. “sit up for me, i have some medicine,” jude ordered listening to your protest but doing as he said.

he opened the bottled water, placing the 2 pills in your mouth and helping you so the water wouldn’t fall or spill. your eyes remained closed, knowing the light would cause more pain. jude gently rubbed your eyes, and brought you to his chest. “promise you, you’ll feel better soon…” he placed a kiss on your temple, rubbing the sides of your arms, “especially if you take a hot bath and eat something.”

“i’m not hungry,” you dismissed shaking your head, “i know but the medicine won’t have any affect if you have no food here,” jude tickled your tummy hearing you let out a small giggle. “drink more water,” he helped you again, seeing as you almost drank it all. “cmon i have to shower too, i’ll help you baby,” he picked and helped you to the bath.

jude softly scrubbed your skin and washed your hair, paying close attention to you being soft with his movements. he loved to take care of you, returning the affection especially when you did it to him after his games or long travels. he massaged your back and neck, feeling the tension go away after. “it feels so nice jude,” you praise, wanting to return the favor but he wouldn’t allow you, saying he didn’t want you to lift a finger.

jude then also helped with your hair care and skincare, knowing you would cause a fuss if you didn’t at least have any moisturizer on. helping you change into some loose and comfortable clothes after rubbing your skin with lotion. “do you want some herbal tea your mom brought us? it will make you be able to digest some food and clear your sinus?” jude spoke softly, seeing as you nodded.

while he prepared and made some soup, he brought you a warm blanket and your tea, setting it down along with some cookies, and antibiotics incase you had an infection or virus. “do you need any help?” you pout feeling bad as he was doing all this work after his game the day before. “no love, i have it handled. i just want you to rest okay? you need to or else how are you going to get better?” he quoted your words when he was injured. you let out a small smile, “thank you, handsome,” your leaned up and hugged him tight.

“we still have stuff to do. we need to go grocery shopping and visit your mom, i promised her to join her later today,” you recalled, sitting up and holding your head. “you can’t go out like this!-”

“i wasn’t asking. i was telling you. i have put it off for so long and there’s barely any groceries left. it will be quick and easy, same with your mom! she needs one on one girl talk and i haven’t seen her in so long,” you tell jude to where he rolls his eyes at your stubbornness. “one on one girl talk? about what?”

“it’s called one on one girl talk for a reason jude… we can leave a little later okay? i’m feeling way better compared to the morning,” you admit, standing up but jude ushers you to sit down, taking your mug to the sink and washing it for you. “i can’t talk this one out of you right?”

“nope,” you deadpanned.

jude made your warm soup, organizing and cleaning up the kitchen so it wouldn’t be a mess. writing down stuff that was missing from the refrigerator, pantry, and other necessities, making note to also refill your medicines. he insisted you wear a jacket, knowing the grocery store would be cold and he couldn’t risk you getting a deep cough and sickness.

“what else is left?” jude asked, placing different veggies in their bags into the cart. he was in charge of bagging and you crossing off items on the list. “new toothpaste, cases of waters and juice, and your snacks,” you read off, following jude as he filled the bottom with water and juice like you said.

“i know i can be annoying when im sick, but thank you for taking care of me,” you said, feeling overwhelmed with joy and happiness to have a boyfriend like jude. he was patient, loving, helping, and sooo protective. he wanted you to feel safe and cared for by his side and he never failed to do that.

“see that’s what we’re not going to do,” said jude when you rejected his kiss, he grabbed your face a placed a messy kiss on your lips. “don’t care if i get sick, just need you to know i’ll do anything for you okay? sick or not,” jude hugged you, as you waited in line to pay.

after returning home and unpacking, you took a small and well needed nap. jude doing some laundry and placing it where it goes, watering your plants and worked out. he also took you to his moms after you insisted, where you guys talked for hours and then did some re-arranging in the house. if there was one thing jude loved, it was watching his two favorite girls get along so well, sharing laughs and making new memories.

you fell asleep once again in the car ride home on jude’s lap, jude massaging your scalp where you fell into a deeper sleep. he carried you to the room again, changing you into a long sleeve and some shorts, also helping you brush your teeth and take the night pills for your cold and headache. “wait for me here okay? gonna make sure everything is off,” he kissed your head.

he brought back a warm blanket and waters, doing his own night routine before joining you in bed. you immediately looked and seemed for comfort on him, resting your side and head on his chest, eyes closing softly wanting to stay up with up. jude held you tight, so in love and infatuated with your beauty even when sick.

“how are you feeling?” jude asked, running his hand along your spine, tracing shapes, and holding you close to him. “mmm better, but my headache returned in the car… and before you worry, the medicine is helping though,” you reassured him, knowing he would be quick to jump out the bed to help you. you loved when he was clingy and just so protective like this. especially when it was about you. “i’m gonna be waking up every now and then to check in on you okay? if you don’t feel better by tomorrow we’re booking an appointment,” he said seriously.

“okay jude,” you nodded, your hand resting on his chest as you felt your sleep return again. it was a long night for you the day before, so sleep is what you planned to do this night, to catch up on it. “if you don’t feel good, just me me know okay? i don’t care if it’s the smallest pain or ache.”

“i promise i will jude.”

“do you need anything else before we go to sleep?” he whispered, “no jude. im right where i want to be,” you smiled, kissing his chest and then a longing kiss on his lips. “we can watch a movie in the mean time? your choice,” you relaxed in his hold, grabbing the remote for him. jude scrolled and scrolled for minutes, finding the perfect movie to end the hectic day.

not even 5 minutes in, you had fell asleep, brows pulled in and a small pout as you rested soundly. you tried to stay up for him but the medics had done it’s job and jude couldn’t complain. him to was tired, after watching a few more minutes he turned off the tv, charging your phones and bringing you up close to him, careful to not wake you.

“sweet dreams darling…”

[danieyells]

@mayoigotokurousagi also asked for Sho, so here are my favorite of Sho's voicelines! He's a lil more chill--most of the excitement for him is because Leo's causing him trouble, so maybe there won't be as many since it's just him? (Spoiler: i still put nearly all of them, or it feels that way. . . .)

Also sorry this one took way longer haha i had to do some irl stuff and i was pretty tired too lol. . .may not get to the next ones for a few days since i have to wake up early tomorrow and i work double shifts all weekend. But i'll try and find time for it.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Hey,  good timing. You got a second?" お、センパイ。いいとこに来たわ。ちょっと付き合ってくんね？



You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"You got a message. Gonna check it or what?" おい、なんか通知来てっけど。見なくていいのか？　それ



Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Here you go, Bonnie. Barbecue sandwiches, your favorite." ほら、食えよボニー。お前の好きなＢＢＱサンドだぜ



"Huh? Was that your stomach? You hungry?" ……？　なんだよ。もしかしてあんた、腹減ってんの？



"Pit's on again? I'm done with that already. They're all normies—what's the point?" あ？　また地下で騒いでんのか？ 俺はもうやんねぇよ……パンピー相手にしても仕方ねぇだろ

the word he uses for 'normie' here means 'commoner' lmao

"Yeah I got it, you want to train. You go ahead, I'll catch up." はいはい、トレーニングっすよね。もうちょいしたら行くんで



"Did you just see a creep in a black mask over there? ...Nah, never mind. I'm hallucinating." ……今、あそこに黒マスクした胡散臭ぇやつ歩いてなかったか？ ……いや、なんでもねぇ。幻覚だわ

SO THIS LINE CONFUSED ME AT FIRST because it's always referred to as a blindfold by everyone else? HE'S TALKING ABOUT HYDE HYDE IS JUST STALKING HIM LMAO

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Too early... What's Leo doing today? Guess I'll text him." ねっみ……玲音のやつ、今日はどうすんだ？ 一応Ｄチャしとくか……

if it's too early for you it's too early for Leo. But also I'm sure he's got something exciting or interesting planned. I like that we're immediately shown he wants to spend time with Leo even when he's tired haha

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Freakin' sasquatch... Would it kill him to approve an R&R permit every once in a while?" ったく、あのデカブツ……外出許可くらい出せっつの

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Class? What's the point? It's all written in the textbooks—all you gotta do is memorize it." 授業？　あんなん出なくても全部教科書に書いてんだからよ。そのまま覚えりゃいいだけだろ？

Doesn't go to class because he's smart enough to memorize the contents of the textbook I guess! Plus he doesn't care as much about Real Missions so knowing how to do the hard stuff doesn't matter to him haha. . .plus first years probably don't learn as much that's not in the textbook too.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"All right, time to go for a spin. C'mon, Bonnie." うし、軽く流してくっか。行こうぜ、ボニー

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"(yawn) What time is it? Seriously? Damn, overslept." ふぁあ…… 今何時だ……？ マジかよ、寝すぎたわ

Neither he nor Leo sleep at night lmao

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Huh, haven't ridden a skateboard since middle school but I guess I still have the muscle memory. Watch this, I'm gonna do a trick." 中坊ぶりにスケボー乗ったけど、意外と体が覚えてんだな。 トリック決めてやるよ、見ててみ？

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Nice, got an order. More demand than I thought. Getting Leo to make this app was a good call." お、出前の予約が入ったわ……思ったより需要あってよ。 玲音に予約アプリ作らせたの正解だったな

Leo has a line that references this one!

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What's Mido texting me for? come tot hr epuit... Pfft. What the hell is this, some kinda secret code?" あ？　御堂センパイからＤチャ？『血か二個い』って…… ぷっ……なんだこれ、暗号かよ

Ksvdhdisn Alan is adorable. . .i love technologically incompetent characters. Poor bby can't even text. . . . .

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Shit, my whole body's killing me... Sparring five sets of fifteen rounds, are you kidding me? Mido's insane..." クソ、筋肉痛がやべぇ…… 御堂センパイ、スパー１５ラウンド５セットとか正気じゃねぇよ……

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"What am I gonna do tomorrow... Got nothing on, guess I could go to class... That asshole's on the schedule. Pass." 明日どうすっかな……暇だし、たまには授業出とくか？ ……あいつのコマあるわ。やめとこ

Lmao 'i guess i could go to class--wait my brother's teaching one of them tomorrow? Fuck that then.'

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"All right, that's the morning prep done. Guess I'll shower and go back to bed." うし、朝の仕込みはこんなもんか。後は……シャワー浴びて二度寝だな

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"This? It's a fishing rod. Sometimes I catch and filet the fish myself. It's pretty easy, and it saves cash." あ？　これか？　釣り竿だよ。たまに自分で魚釣ってさばくわけ。 簡単だし、コスパ良いだろ？

Fishing with Sho. . .sounds nice and chill. Also did the pc not recognize a fuckin fishing rod. . . .

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"{PC}, there you are. I'm headed to the diner, could you come with and help me carry some stuff?" お、センパイ見っけた。俺、今からダイナー行くんだけどよ。ちょっと荷物持ち手伝ってくんね？

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"You think I look grumpy? The stream for the finals started at 3 AM, what do you want me to do about that? (yawn)" ……あ？　機嫌が悪ぃって？ しょうがねぇだろ……決勝の中継、夜中の３時開始だぜ？ ふぁあ……

Staying up late to watch a basketball game, much like Leo he does not go to bed until the sun's up ordinarily lmao

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey... Pfft. What are you panicking for? You need to be somewhere? Hop on—I'll give you a ride." お、センパイじゃん。ぷっ……なんだよその余裕ねぇ顔。 急いでんなら、乗っけてってやろうか？

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"You hungry, {PC}? I made lunch, but Leo bailed on me, so I was just gonna eat it myself." センパイ、腹減ってねぇ？ 昼飯作ったんだけどよ。玲音のやつ来ねぇし、食っちまおうと思って

Sho: hey our boyfriend ditched me wanna have lunch with me

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Last year I would've been in a club around this time. Leo was always getting in fights though, so we got banned from almost every joint in Shibuya." 昔はこの時間、毎日クラブいてよ。玲音がすぐ喧嘩すっから、渋谷の箱ほとんど出禁になっちまったけどな

Menace boyfriend Leo lmao

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"{PC}, black or white? I'm trying to choose some packaging for the food truck, what'd you think I meant? ...I'll keep it in mind, anyway." センパイさ、白と黒どっちが好き？ ……出前の容器の話なんだけどな。ま、一応覚えといてやるよ

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Geez, it's pretty late. Wait there—I'll give you a ride back." もうこんな時間かよ…… 送ってくわ。そこで待ってろ

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Seriously, it's way too early for this... What? I'm going to class. You're the one who wouldn't shut up about it." はぁ……マジねみぃ…… あ？　今から授業行くんだよ。あんたが行けってうるせぇからだろ

Ordinarily doesn't go to class(a lot of them don't tbh, and Luca says the classes are elective so the ghouls probably don't have to) but will go if you want him to I guess! Leo's gonna call him whipped but Leo already knows he's whipped because he's the one who's been whipping him--

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I've finally got the hang of running this food truck. I want to thank you for helping me out—think of something you want." キッチンカーも大分慣れてきたわ。手伝ってもらった礼もしてぇし、何か欲しいもの、考えといて

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Huh? No, I don't really need any help today... You don't have to make excuses to hang out with me, you know. Just ask." 手伝い？　今日は特にねぇけど…… センパイ、俺と一緒にいたいって、素直に言えば？

"senpai, why don't you just tell me honestly if you wanna be with me?" Is the Japanese here I think and. idk i love that. He's catching on and teasing you a little.

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"What time you planning on heading home, {PC}? Anytime's fine for me. You can stay over if you want." センパイ、今日何時に帰る予定？俺は別に、何時でも…… なんなら、泊まってってもいいぜ？

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Can't sleep? Come over here—I'll warm you up. Pfft... I was kidding, don't get mad." なんだよ……寝れねぇのか？あっためてやるから、こっち来い。 ぷっ……冗談だって。怒んなよ

WERE YOU KIDDING THO. WERE YOU? KINDA HIGH AFFINITY TO JOKE LIKE THAT. AND YOU JUST SAID THEY COULD STAY OVER IF THEY WANTED. . .CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY SHOHEI

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Here, this helmet's for you. I got some time today, so I'll take you somewhere. Anywhere you wanna go." はい、あんたのメット。今日は時間あっから、センパイの行きたいとこ連れてってやるよ

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Forget it, I can't keep my eyes open. Wake me when it's noon." 駄目だ。ねみぃ。昼んなったら起こして

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Pretty warm out lately, huh? Bet it's already snorkeling season in Okinawa. I used to go pretty often." もう大分あったかくなってきたな。沖縄じゃ、シュノーケリングできる時期だぜ？　昔はよく行ってたわ

He plays basketball, he skateboards, he fishes, he snorkels, this bitch loves sports lol

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"This? It's chirashizushi. Cuts are pretty chic, right? The idea came to me when I was over in Hotarubi." これか？　ちらし寿司作ってんの、飾り切り渋ぃだろ。 ホタルビ行ったら、こんなイメージが湧いたからよ

Chirashizushi is sushi ingredients cut into small pieces and scattered over sushi rice! It comes in a lot of variation and isn't always made with raw fish like you might expect sushi to be.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"If I can get an R&R permit granted, I want to go for a solo ride. Haven't been for ages, and riding through the cherry blossoms this time of year feels awesome." 外出許可出たらよ、久々にひとりで走りてぇわ。この時期の桜坂辺り、最高に気持ちいんだよな……



Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Damn, I'm melting here... I need a haircut. Nah I don't need a barber, I just do it myself. 'Course I'm serious." クソ暑ぃ……そろそろ髪切んねぇとな…… 美容院？　めんどくせぇから自分で切ってっけど。マジだぜ？

Sho really knows a little about everything huh. He cuts his own hair, he memorizes textbooks, he plays every sport, he can cook. . .is there anything Sho can't do? In his character story he even says he played guitar for a little while but hasn't done it lately, so music is probably within his wheelhouse too.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Sweating my ass off over here... It's been like a year since I last played basketball. Mido's core's gotta be made of steel... Oh, is that water for me? Thanks." 暑ぃ！　バスケしたの１年ぶりか？御堂センパイ、体幹強すぎだろ…… お、水くれんの？　サンキュ

actually i'd like to see alan playing basketball too. . .it's nice to know he doesn't just work out by sparring and running, he'll play sports too.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Summer homework? Nah, haven't done it yet. Only takes a day, right? Pfft... You want me to help you?" 夏の課題？　まだやってねぇけど。あんなもん一日で終わるだろ？ ぷっ……センパイ手伝ってやろうか

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Leo won't shut up about wanting to let off fireworks, but no way am I doing that shit with him again. I'm sure you can guess why." 玲音が花火してぇってうるせぇんだけどよ、俺は二度とあいつとはやんねぇって決めてんの。わかんだろ？

wtf was Leo doing with the fireworks that Sho decided he's never settijng off fireworks with him again. . .was he just pointing them at him lmao. Leo also has a line referencing this!



Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Yesterday when I was fishing in the river I saw this guy who looked like one of the Frostheim ghouls out there. Can't have been though, right?" 昨日川釣り行ってきたんだけどよ、フロストハイムの奴に似てんのがいた気がすんだよな……人違いか？

which one. . .i mean if it was Luca he was probably training, but if it was Kaito. . .idk what Kaito would be doing out in the river by himself. . .I know it wasn't Jin but if it was Tohma maybe it was some official business. . .? Or, y'know, spy stuff. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Geez, don't pipe up outta the blue like that. ...What? You gotta a problem with me reading a book?" ビビった。いきなり声かけんなよ。 ……なんだよ、その顔。俺が本読んでちゃ悪ぃのか？　あ？

sho has been saying like this entire time 'yeah i read and memorize the textbooks instead of going to class' how is the pc so shocked to see him ACTUALLY READING. Then again, i also wouldn't think he's a hobby reader. . .on the other hand he's got like every hobby he can get his hands on, so it makes sense.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Pfft... Hey, {PC}. Come over here. Geez, what're you doing walking around with a leaf in your hair?" ぷ��……【名★前】センパイ、ちょっとこっち来い。 ったく、なんで髪に葉っぱ付けてんだよ……

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Scariest Ghost Videos to Fuel Your Nightmares... I asked a buddy for some good videos to kill the time, and he sent me this..." 『最恐の怨霊ビデオ集』…… ダチに暇つぶしになる動画教えろっつったら、これ送られてきたんだよ

it's hard to tell based on his expression how he feels about this lol

i wonder if he's not really into horror stuff or it makes him feel uneasy after the PC got attacked by Takeru?



Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"I get more delivery orders on cold days... It's a pain in the ass, but I guess I'll just wear an extra layer..." 寒ぃ日ってさ、出前の注文やたら増えんだよな…… めんどくせぇけど今日は１枚多めに着とくか……

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Damn, I really wanna go snowboarding. I used to go every year before I ended up here... Think they got a good slope in Frostheim?" マジでスノボ行きてぇ……ここ来る前は、毎年必ず行ってたのによぉ。 フロストハイムで滑れねぇの？

I bet they do I mean rich people would wanna go skiing now and then right? It's just a matter of would they let a vagastromer use them. . .then again what're they gonna do, stop him?

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Huh? I'm looking at a catalog. I could serve hot food if I had an electric pot. I'm thinking about it." ……あぁ？　カタログ見てんだよ。保温ジャーがありゃ、あったけぇメニュー出せんだろ？ 考え中

this makes it sound like his food isn't served hot lol to my understanding he does make everything in advance, not on the spot but i assume he means like. hot-hot. like soups for the winter kind of thing. he should do it! serve up some new england clam chowder.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm freezing my ass off... I just saw Mido walk past in a T-shirt. Are his nerve endings dead?" クソ寒ぃ……さっき御堂センパイ、Ｔシャツ１枚で出てったんだけど。自律神経狂ってんじゃねぇ？

Apparently I'm Alan lmao i too experience less cold than other people



His birthday: (August 19th)

"What, you're gonna celebrate my birthday? What do I want for a present? Hmm... I'll take you. Just kidding." へぇ、俺の誕生日祝ってくれんの？プレゼント…… じゃあさ、あんたのことくれよ。 なんてな

Y'KNOW I'M SURE THEY WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU WEREN'T KIDDING THO YOU ARE VERY POPULAR then again based on his valentine's day dialogue he knows that lol



Your birthday:

"Know what this is, {PC}? Yep—an R&R permit. Today's your birthday, right? So, where are we going?" センパイ、これ何だと思う？　そ、外出許可書。 今日、誕生日だろ？どこ行きたいか考えとけよ

I'm beginning to suspect that he heavily values freedom and being able to go where he wants and do what he wants. That includes taking you wherever you wanna go. Even at max affinity he has the same response--'we're going somewhere, anywhere you want.' At max affinity he doesn't mention an R&R permit--which suggests he doesn't care if you get in trouble going out, as long as you actually get to go out. One of the first things we see him talking about relating to Darkwick is asking Leo if he regrets going--I think Sho regrets it. He can't leave whenever he wants, even though he's one of the top students as far as grades, he's more restricted in what he's allowed to do and when. . .so I think these offers to drive you anywhere in total freedom are his ways of showing you what means the most to him. Just. . .being able to do whatever, whenever. I think that's also part of why he likes Leo so much. Leo doesn't let himself be restricted either. Leo gets into fights and into trouble and Sho complains about it but he understands the liberation. Sho wants to see that unrestricted you, I think. Even if it isn't anything extreme, even if it isn't anything exciting. He wants to see what you're like out of Darkwick's cage. So he'll take you on little joyrides into freedom. Show him where you go and what you do when no one's there to stop you.

New Years: (January 1st)

"What'd I wish for at midnight? For this year to be peaceful... Not that any gods are listening out for us." 新年の願い事ねぇ……今年こそ、平穏無事に過ごせますように…… って、神様叶える気ねぇだろな

Well when you've been chosen by demons. . .yeah, you're probably not on the good side of many gods.



Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Yeah, these are all the chocolates I got. No idea how I'm gonna get through them all... So? You didn't get me anything?" ああ、これ全部もらったチョコ。これ食いきんのきちぃんだよな…… で、センパイは俺にくれねぇの？

I'm surprised Leo's wasn't similar to this tbh. Like, Leo's an influencer, why didn't he mention getting a metric fuckton of valentine's day chocolate? I'm happy Sho's loved by the students tho haha.



White Day: (March 13th)

"Baking sweets and cooking are totally different. It's not really in my wheelhouse, but... here. My firsts. Thanks for the chocolates." 菓子作りと料理は別もんだからよ、普段はやんねぇんだけど…… はい。俺の初焼き菓子、お返しにどうぞ

THE FIRST TIME HE EVER BAKED AND IT'S FOR YOU what a sweetheart. considering how good he is at just about everything i'm sure they came out just fine



April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Hey, it's snowing outside. Wait, guess that's not so unlikely in this place... I used to get duped by that one all the time when I was a kid." おい、外、雪降ってんぞ？ って、この学園じゃ嘘になんねぇか。ガキの頃、これ何回やられたことか……

we found the one thing he's not good at! pulling pranks!

Halloween: (October 31st)

"You really need an explanation? Leo made me wear it! Shit, why am I always the girl..." ああ？　言わなくてもわかんだろ。玲音に着せられたんだっつの！ クソ、なんで毎年女装なんだよ……

Your boyfriend best friend makes you crossdress for him on Halloween on a yearly basis. . .and you do it!!!



Christmas: (December 25th)

"Sorry for making you help me prep all these roast chicken orders... Wanna do something Christmassy together once we're done?" センパイ、チキンの注文さばくの手伝わせて悪ぃ…… 今日の分片付いたら、俺らもクリスマス楽しもうぜ

Christmas is often considered a holiday spent with a lover in Japan to my understanding. . .what are you suggesting Sho. . . .



Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"What're you looking at?" あぁ？　見てんじゃねぇよ

little peek at the delinquent thug vibe lol

(13 affinity and above)

"C'mon. Hurry up, or I'm gonna leave you behind." センパイ、そろそろ行くぞ。早くしねぇと置いてっちまうぜ？

Always on the go, always doing something, he doesn't wanna leave you behind but he won't wait too long so. . .come back already?

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"What took you so long? Your food's cold. Go wash up." 遅ぇよ……あんたの飯、冷めちまっただろ。 さっさと手ぇ洗ってこい

Alright, mom.

I STILL FEEL LIKE I CHOSE A BUNCH THIS ONE IS ALSO ALL OF THEM NOW . . .Sho is pretty lowkey. But after rereading them all and giving it some thought, you can definitely get a feel for his character. He seems like he keeps busy a lot--he's always doing something. Cooking, playing sports, reading, memorizing his textbooks. . .he's confident and comfortable and sometimes he's a bit rough around the edges. And sometimes he's a little flirty too, if he likes you. But that's all part of how confident and self-assured he is--and he has plenty of reason to be when he's so smart and skilled at damn near everything he touches. He acts more like the senpai character here. He's a lot like Haku, except where Haku is a bit lazier and less motivated(although he still works hard) Sho is always on the go. Always up to something, always trying something. He likes to keep busy and doesn't like to sit still--to the point that he even considers going to class when he's got nothing to do during the day. He wakes up and has nothing to do? Let's call Leo, he's usually got something going on. He complains about Alan making him work out so much or go to the pit or play basketball real hard? He still goes and does it anyway. But it seems like he just. . .always wants to be busy. I can't really think of many points he just kinda had downtime. Yeah, he goes fishing and reads and watches basketball(?) but like. . .he's still occupied even then. Then again maybe that's because he's stuck in Darkwick. He'd rather be driving around somewhere or doing some sport but he can't do so much unless he can leave. . .he feels a little restless to me. But maybe that's just me haha.

[hjartasalt]

Have you ever had any serious accidents? Broken bone, extreme gash or bruising? I think most people have a story.

When I was 4 I fell out of a hotel bed in Turkey and due to a combination of me being a very small child for a four year old and the fact that the bedroom floor was tiled I got a rather large gash on my forehead that required 7 stitches. Thankfully this happened in the land of the plastic surgeons so my doctor did a very good job making the scar more subtle than it otherwise would have been

Oh and also one time in secondary school I got a second degree burn across almost my entire left forearm in a coffee brewing accident like this thing looked nasty I had a giant blister over the inside of my wrist and most people would probably have gone to the ER at this point but not me I just called my mum cause she's a doctor and explained the situation to her. She directed me on how to treat it at home until she got off work to take a look at it so for two hours I just let my arm continue to cook while I waited for her to get home lmao. After getting over the initial shock I was able to more or less adjust to the pain so it wasn't too terrible. As soon as she saw it though she kinda just went "ok this is worse than I thought we have to go to the burns unit" and like by that point I was so chill with my situation I just kept making terrible jokes while I was getting bandaged up. Like they would ask if I'd eaten anything yet and I'd just say some shit like "well I was in the middle of cooking breakfast before you started bandaging it 🤨" and then everyone would wince

[explorevenus]

i just thought of smth regarding leon in something permanent, what would happen if this man had a broadcast system in the house? an innocent one would be while he's away, darling could just be drinking tea and sets the cup on the table and suddenly darling hears leon's voice to take the cup back and put a coaster under it LMAO

a scarier one is him trying to talk to darling in the wee hours of the night and it just creeps darling out bc, wtf? hearing his voice at 3am through a loud ass speaker? when he's not even there???

jesus CHRIST that would crank the psychological torture up to like. ELEVEN

leon with access to a fuckin BROADCAST SYSTEM IN THE HOUSE would be INSUFFERABLE and we all know it. he would not have any respect with it whatsoever nor any chill at all.

he's at work and misses you? "hi darling i love you so much i'll be home soon hope you're being good"

he's away on a mission and doesn't trust you? "you've been staring at that window a little too long there, baby. wouldn't want me to think you're trying another escape, would you?"

he just wants to make sure you're thinking of him? "daddy loves you, pretty baby, you look so beautiful today..."

also having nefarious thoughts of him using it in the middle of the night to wake you up and make you flash the security cameras because he's woefully horny and needy for you

[onesaltyhunter]

Sleep Token x Gender Neutral!Reader HCs

what type of inhuman creatures would they be?

Side note: I've never made one of these before so props to all those people who make these regularly--they're difficult for my 3 brain cells to pop out something in return

VESSEL (I)

VAMPIRE

Protective, yet kind and passionate (he's also moderately awkward but we love that for him)

Tried his best to use his special "mind powers" to make you attracted to him after years of jokingly flirting with you

(It didn't work lmao)

He's still a hopeless romantic so he tried again

it still didn't work but you ended up falling for him anyway (he still believes that it worked)

Has an undeniable urge to hold onto you in some way, whether it may be an arm around your shoulder, waist--holding hands, and even the occasional fumbling with each other's fingers when walking somewhere

he's cold. like SO FUCKING COLD.

You used to jump at how freezing he was to the touch, but you've gotten used to it (for the most part)

If you decide to go to one of their shows and someone looks at you for a split second with even the slightest look of disgust/infatuation, Vessel with put the fear of God into them

He wouldn't tell you what he did, but, you could easily figure it out

bro is HORNY like ON GOD

II

WERECAT

kinda shy--very cuddly though

yeah sure they have a "Holy duty to be constantly awake" but sometimes, II feels a bit eepy

either very energetic or very tired, no in-between

Can barely hold back the urge to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle your neck (even if you're taller than him)

Acts like he needs some alone time every once in a while (lies)

Doesn't really know how to explain to you that he wants to spend more time with you--doesn't want to come off as clingy

Has literally overslept cuddled up to you and nearly missed a show because of it--loves violating his duty to Sleep if it means he can spend more time with you

It doesn't feel like he has to ask to "accidentally" pass out on you, bypassing any means of attempting to ask you if it's alright

You'd always be okay with it though, unless you were nommin on a snack and it felt weird to see him schlumped over your thigh, snoring--which felt weird but eh, its just II being II

After you found out what he was, you jokingly called him a "catboy"

The weird stare off lasted a solid minute

II was a little weirded out by the fact that you were unphased by your reaction to him telling you that he is a LITERAL monster

III

WEREWOLF

sorry if you thought he was going to be some big strong werewolf man--he has the personality of a golden retriever

Needs hugs (SHOW HIM SOME AFFECTION LIKE 24/7 PLS HE NEEDS IT)

VERY ENERGETIC

Fuckin loves running around like a maniac with you on off-days or even after a show

You still wonder how he has the energy to do stuff after bouncing about and toying with Vessel on stage

Will NOT hesitate on making a scene if it looks like someone is harassing you

Will (attempt) stop the ENTIRE SHOW and jump down into the crowd and shove them

if he can't, well--let's just say that he had a very unpleasant snack that night

Comes back acting as if nothing happened

IV

FAE

very chill (as per usual)

loves to dance around

you came home to him jamming out on his own and all of your seemingly dying house plants started living again

(Bro forgot he can do that 💀)

will dance with you until the middle of the night (goblin behavior but we love him fr)

loves taking you to botanical gardens

can't stop bringing you flowers (like no he really can't stop, it almost a problem)

another hugger (you want to hug him--you NEED TO)

[wheregoodthingsthrive]

Hellsing Headcanon Mass Post

I had been wanting to make one of these for a long while. Compiling a lot of my overly fleshed out ideas for the Hellsing five especially is a fixation for me and a lot of these are 8+ years in the making. This is long and covers Seras, Integra, Pip, and Walter. Alucard isn't in here cause I want the others to get more love lmao. I'll do Iscariot and Alucard eventually. I just want to try this out-- I want to make more Hellsing friends, especially one's willing to build on the lush free real estate we have here :3

Seras Victoria 

Born February 9th 1979* 

I refuse to believe she was 19 and a cop. *I don’t know how old I want her to be exactly but part of me thinks she’s either Integra’s age (22) or younger by a few months. I refuse. 

Her middle name is Marie, which is her mother’s name, 

Speaking of her parents -- her parents, Marie and John-Mark Victoria, were an elementary teacher and a cop (duh) respectively. 

They were a pretty chill middle class family, known in their community pretty well as they were often involved in a lot. 

So the brutal breaking and entering double homicide of the family and the orphaning of Seras was a big deal. It was in the local news. Definitely contributes to Seras having an intense need to NOT stand out. 

Her time at the orphanage is a seriously blocked out time period for her and for good reason -- it was a very emotionally and mentally isolating place. And she was disciplined. A lot. As canon explores, she was very violent, aggressive, and apprehensive of relations. She never truly got the therapy she needed and she surely thought the orphanage’s religious predisposition would not help. 

Protestant turned skeptical agnostic. She never understands religion all that well after her traumatic childhood. 

She went to a private school until her graduation. She had a massive passion in the law and enforcement, leading her to become a cop for emotional reasons she could never really place (traumatic memory blocking lmao) 

Despite being picked on and being seen as a little lesser, Seras really did enjoy her job as a cop and hoped to one day become a sergeant or a head of the office. Her fellow coworkers really wanted to see her succeed… 

In/Beyond Hellsing

The TV show was onto something with having Seras and Integra have quite the strained relationship. Seras just wanted to be liked and definitely understood that she was seen as an ‘invader’ into this strange little found family. 

I don’t have much more on this in terms of Seras’ side because Integra’s side has more potential for nuance. See Integra section. <3 

Overall, Seras has a very skittish relationship with everyone. She does get close to Walter though, as he’s the most merciful with her regarding her development as a Hellsing agent and vampire alike. She gets on the tradition of being up early enough to enjoy morning tea with him. (She can’t drink it but it helps her feel normal)

Her vampiric arm CAN formulate into a normal, fleshy arm but she prefers it not to as it reminds her of her strength. She can equally dissipate a lot of her body, mainly her eyes and back alongside her arm, but she can’t go full shadow like Alucard can on a whim. 

Vampires of different classes have different arrays of abilities. Seras learns a lot of hers is illusionary and omnipresence. Shadow work, shape shifting, illusions, and expert third-eye vision are her specialties. 

Miscellaneous 

Her favorite drink was London fog or a classic pint of beer. Her sweet tooth was unbeatable. 

She has a nice list of hobbies and interests! She loves dancing, can crochet, learning calligraphy for fun, 

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing 

Born June 17th 1977

It’s van Helsing but whatever. Hellsing is the popularized version of the surname but if you ever ask her to sign a document or write her name, she always fills it out as ‘van Helsing’ because it is “correct”. 

Childhood and Parents

Integra is conceived out of wedlock between Arthur and Ahalya. They met in 1975 and Integra was born three months after their official wedding. Both of her parents were on the older side.  

Her ‘bastard’ status was a big issue in her inheritance and caused, frankly, a lot of tension between Arthur and Richard and more so doubts among the Round Table. 

Arthur defended his decision till the day he died. Integra was the best thing that ever happened to him. 

I AM TIRED OF SEEING NEGLIGENT FATHER ARTHURS. WAKE UP GUYS. 

Arthur was a devoted, very loving, very gracious father. Meeting Ahalya and really taking the Hellsing position seriously since his 30s helped prepare him to be an engaging father and dedicated spouse. While he was busy and often away, any moment he got with Integra was intentional and held his undivided attention. 

Integra’s mother was present until she was ten. Her mother was a little less emotional but equally loving. She was very adamant on Integra’s education and development into a young, respectable lady. She was very against Integra becoming the next head of Hellsing but Arthur was insistent. 

While not always perfect, Integra and her mother got along. Her mother passed away in the spring of 1987 due to terminal illness. 

She was basically raised by Walter whenever neither of her parents were around. They were the best of friends and could read each other like books. Where Arthur taught her the occult and leadership, her mother etiquette and poise, Walter taught her self-reliance and strong headedness. 

Their relationship was not always perfect and definitely hit a rocky patch when Alucard returned. She still never understood what their deal was. 

Early adult years - Integra is the most socially inept but poised individual. Talking to men? Talking to women? It’s near impossible. She’s a brick wall. She’s real fun at parties when she is either obligated or strongly convinced to go to them. 

Definitely earns herself a Elizabeth I reputation. The only time she ever dated was when she was 15 and she had a picnic with a guy her age once. Never again. 

Hellsing Era

Integra’s ascent into the head of the organization was agonizingly painful. Walter served as her legal guardian and Alucard was her…strange project. 

This is truly when she adopted her more masculine persona and this…closed off nature. It was the only way she saw herself being protected from all the prying, doubting, and slander of the bureaucracies. Was this damaging to her? Absolutely. 

Despite this, she grew very close with her father’s trusted friends. Penwood is more at an arm's length while surprisingly, despite his intensity, Irons is her closest among the RTC. 

Irons definitely sees Integra as his daughter as well, not even as Arthur’s child. 

Her relationship with Alucard at this time is very odd. Mentor/mentee, master/servant, Hellsing/vampire. She didn’t quite know how to appreciate him at this time 

A major contributor to their relationship growing was her discovery of Hellsing experiments and frankly more shameful works. While not inherently positive to their dynamic, it definitely changed the way she viewed Alucard forever. 

Adding onto the Seras/Integra segment here from Integra’s perspective. Integra can not afford to lose her ‘normal’. She is a creature of habit and stability. She would never admit it but the upheaval of her life via the death of her father, the absenteeism of Walter, the introduction of Alucard, her first kill, etc. ruined her perceived safety and it took her many years to regain it. 

She had a new, safe, constant normal with Walter and Alucard. So when Seras is introduced, Integra feels threatened. Her vampire acted irrationally and now she has to pay for it (literally and socially). Seras was an unfactored element to her that invaded her life and threw her into disarray. Obviously, this feeling does not last forever, but she detests Seras at first. 

I could also make a point about Integra having no real positive feminine influences in her life after her mother dies. She lives in such a masculine bubble that when Seras is introduced, she frankly does not know how to respond to a positive, feminine presence. That’s a whole other bag of marshmallows for another time.   

Post-Hellsing

She dies fifteen years after the time skip finale from natural causes. 

Miscellaneous 

Operas are her favorite. Her favorite is Tosca. Her favorite activity with Arthur in her youth was to attend the opera and ballets and the likes.

She pulls just as much as Arthur did. :)   

She is fluent in Dutch and English, and knows a decent handful of French and German from her governess days.

Pip Bernadotte 

Born March 27th 1972. Left handed. 

His full name is Pierre Andre. ‘Pip’ stuck in his youth. 

I have an unhealthy loyalty to believing he is French-Belgian-Columbian. Why Columbian? Because I said so. 

His father served on a mercenary job in Columbia where he met Pip’s mother and he brought her back to Europe with him. Pip was born in Belgium and his parents split up shortly after his birth but they never married. He was left with his dad as his mother returned to the Americas. 

He was primarily raised by her grandfather due to his father’s pretty constant absenteeism but whenever his father was around, it was very pleasant and he has a good, positive recollection of his father. 

His grandfather though? It was complicated. He was a stern disciplinarian.    

His father passed away in Pip’s 20s. They hadn’t seen each other for a few years leading up to his death, not in a negative way…just…kinda went down their own paths. 

Pip skipped Belgium and backpacked all around Europe for a long time after his basic level education. He used to have aspirations of being an actor but well we all saw what he actually is so say goodbye to the dream. 

He was engaged at least three times. Absolute dumbass heartbreaker. 

This is a running joke with the Wild Geese and definitely contributed to his dedication to Seras. She really made him want to settle and stop and be still. Sobs.  

Leading up to Hellsing/Hellsing

He was dumb, young, and had both eyes when he joined his first mercenary group. It was not the Wild Geese but there were some guys in there he met who would soon coagulate into the WG. 

That being said, he found he could make more money if he ran the show, so entered the formation of the Wild Geese. 

When he lost his eye, he temporarily considered getting a fake glass eye but (thank you cocolacola &lt;3) Seras gave him the eyepatch as a “welcome to Hellsing sorry for flicking you” offering. 

He’s got some unsorted trauma from losing his eye but he’s an adamant “it’s not that bad I don’t need to talk about it” kind of guy. Toxic masculinity or whatever. 

In general. He’s got a lot of unresolved/undiscussed trauma. Will he ever discuss it? No. 

Y’know. I feel he and Walter clicked too. They’re both a pair of war dogs who refuse to talk about being said war dogs. Pip is also under the illusion that Walter is pretty normal too until he soon realizes he is NOT. Pip and Walter worked together a lot in creating training drills, tweaking defense systems, and Pip ran the whole “this is our new defense plan” by the latter and both were maybe too excited to bond over insane artillery. 

Pip is not allowed in the gunshop though.

 When it comes to Integra, this man has mad respect for her and after the first greeting, he would never dare to disrespect her to her face or without good humor. 

Alucard is another…can of worms. Pip and Alucard have this odd ‘bro code’ honor between them but not much else. Really Pip only talks to Alucard because Seras serves as some type of liaison. 

As Seras’ familiar, I feel he develops ‘powers’- in a non-traditional sense. 

Memory barricades, psychic blocks/links, a minor form of omnipresence, and an adaptation of Seras’ skills when he branches out of her arm. 

He can materialize fully but not for long and is tethered to Seras via her shadow, so if that is cut, he dissipates. 

Miscellaneous 

He is a polyglot! French, Dutch, Italian, Spanish, English fluently. Arabic, German, and Greek intermittently. 

He's a pescetarian. A failing one. 

Pip is a practicing Protestant but you’d never hear him be too open about it and he’s not a calendar Christian either. He’s pretty devoted. 

Walter C. Dornez 

Born September 30th, 1930. Left handed. 

The ‘C’ stands for Christaan: yes that’s how it’s spelled, it’s Dutch. 

This is my small blip on anon about his parents 

Tldr; Walter is maternally a Seward. His mother is Seward’s daughter and served as a nurse in WWI. She’s also the original holder of the monofilament wires, a vampire hunting weapon devised by the Sewards and their assistance to Hellsing in the early 1890s-1910-20s.

His father is from the Netherlands and served in the war.

He grew up in Rotterdam, Netherlands, until May 1940 when the Nazis invaded the Netherlands. 

In their exit from continent Europe, his parents parted ways. Mother took him to England, father stayed behind to aid resistance. He never came back. 

His mother left him in the stead of Hellsing as they are technically family friends and also left him with her precious wires. 

Started as a hall-boy, moved to a footman in 1941 and then was conscripted into Hellsing full-time forces in 1942, earning the moniker the same year. 

A 14 year old being a butler is ridiculous. As a history major, one who has an area of study in grand-house culture (staff and aristocracy) and hierarchy, it would be UNFOUNDED to have someone so young and seemingly inexperienced serving in a role like that. 

Now when he’s older? Plausible. Especially given the decline in house staff necessity, especially after the war. So anyways, his official title is butler to the Hellsing family and valet to Sir Hellsing. 

Dawn Era and Further 

He was the Hellsing infantry’s lil guy. His only friends were grown men who were either scared of him or thought he was puny. He definitely had to work for his respect and favor, with lots of blood, sweat, and tears. 

A big credit to his success in the ranks was his aptitude with gunsmithing. Making Hellsing’s literal arms makes you a valuable player. 

If he wasn’t using wires, he was using his own handcrafted sniper rifle: Pandora. 

This will be indulgent. 

Warsaw, Poland 1944. Kid can not remember any of it save for emotions, blurry recollection, and now his neck hurts on occasion. 

That Captain fight left him unrecognizable, even to himself, and absolutely shattered the early camaraderie he TRIED to have Alucard. 

He struggled to reconcile that Hellsing was any different than Millennium given he felt they were both out for him, just in different ways. 

Sometimes it’s best he doesn't remember.  

Poland definitely changed him for the worse - intense conditioning to violence made it near impossible for him to adapt back to the real world and being so pivotal in Hellsing forces so early on gave him quite the ego. 

He attended Balliol Harvard to study politics and economics. It was a fine time. Definitely awoke something in him. GAY. HE’S GAY. College was in general not too kind to him in the regard that trying to go back to a strange calm after his tumultuous teen years was……..immensely damaging to his psyche. 

Alucard. God where do I start. They had a…rivals to friends to no-contact to rivals to coworkers to friends to lovers (?) to amorous thoughts to haters to rivals to classy exes to…vampire fights in leather. It’s complicated. 

Integra is his absolute darling. He loves her so much despite being a ‘I hate kids’ individual leading up to that. He loved her as the daughter he never had/never will have and also because it evened Arthur out completely. 

Speaking of Arthur. Walter and Arthur have a complicated relationship- not quite father/son, not quite employer/employee, not quite sir/valet. Arthur was almost too casual with Walter early on but later, they developed a strange, taut but friendly mutual respect. 

Events of Hellsing

He died in ep5. He looked like a shattered jam jar on the streets of London when the Captain was done with him. I refuse to accept otherwise. 

Vampirism obviously saved him- for better or for worse is up to you. 

This is another bag of marshmallows but I like to think his vampire form is. Uncanny. He’s got some strange new features that distinctly set him apart from natural vampires, a common trait with Millennium engineered vampires.

Miscellaneous

Woman magnet. This man pulled from his 20s to his 40s. Crazy thing though? This man is not into women. Lmao. He has the ‘single attractive bachelor who is single for a reason’ vibe. 

Despite not being a fan of Arthur’s…colorful liveliness…he did some fun, maybe wild things in his youth too. He was no stranger to drinking, going to clubs, dancing, and has perhaps tried a substance or two. Anything to cope. 

Not even he knows how the wires work…he only knows they listen to him. 

They also function like web shooters or hooks if he controls the tension correctly. 

He is decked in scars from monofilament training. Has almost lost fingers MANY TIMES

[imaginespazzi]

GH Chapter 6 babyyyyy. Oooh girl, I needed this fluff! Feeling a little down in the dumps as our embryo transfer failed, and honestly this perked me up! No worries though I am remaining positive as we have a few more frozen embryos so we shall try again :) But truly reading this chapter yesterday gave me such a boost! Thank you :) REACTIONS - My only negative feedback/correction is that it is indeed, as easy for a literal child to buy alcohol in eastern Europe as it is to buy coke 😂😂😂 wild place. - The whole sequence of them in the gazebo, P bringing up the date, the angst, anticipation, butterflies brought me back to being 15. Which is a huge feat because girl, it was a while ago lol - "She does none of the above. Instead Azzi kisses Paige back." Oh thank the lord above Azzi Fudd LET YOUR LOINS LEAD YOU and chill a bit - Their hearts talking to each other. What a beautiful depiction of what it would feel like to be kissing your person again after all this time. Although I am firmly in the camp of them having had some sort of physical/sexual interaction either during Ps marriage or after her divorce teehee - “I- I broke your heart. I broke us. How could you possibly want that again. How could you possibly want me again?” AZZI does she have to spell it out in sky writing? She loves you and will always love you and will always want you. Forever. One step forward two steps back with this one eh - "Take it slow and see where it goes and maybe we’ll- maybe we’ll be even better this time.” See Paige is wise. Our dumb blonde is not so dumb when it comes to MATTERS OF THE HEART. And Vagina. - THE RULES. You been spending too much time w/ @pb524830 haha. Hopefully you don't EDGE US TO DEATH like a certain someone did for the first part of PnP. - I wanna know did they like sit down and have a formal conversation about what the rules are? Also what is within the kissing boundary lol Tongue? Little boob squeeze? Giving themselves blue-clits over here. Better buy batteries for their vibrators at Costco prob going through a couple double-As every 3 days. - But in all honestly the thought of them making out on Azzis couch after Stephie is in bed, then having to separate and have Paige go back to her house at the end of the night is very high school and precious and cute. - Ok girl you know the car seat thing was the highlight for me. You put a big smile on my face by including that I LOVED IT. And its pu-ple!!!! cute cute cute cute - “You look really happy today sweetheart,” Tim says softly. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 - Dying at the contrast of Stephie thinking the sun shines out of P's ass and she is the moral and Christ-like center of the universe while Jon and Jose are like um no this bitch is a menace you don't even know - Awwww are the 3 of them gonna sleep in a queen sized bed w/ Stephie in the middle. I can't. Lil family - “you won’t- you won’t run away again tomorrow morning will you?” make me cry again why don't you - I think hearing EVERYONE around her calling P 'Paige' has gotta switch up Stephies name for her at some point. Maybe hearing Drew call her Paigey will influence her? Overall this was such delicious fluff and perfect whisps of angst. Made my day- my week! Thank you for sharing your talent with us. Am I terrified for whats to come? YUP! But hopefully you can preserve our hearts a little bit by keeping up some tender fluff throughout 😭 <3 🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼🤱🏼

Aww bby sending you so much virtual love and hugs. I'm glad this chapter cheered you up and I'm manifesting so hard for it to work next time <3

LMAO I did actually think of this but then was like when would Paige have time to just walk around Minsk and find alcohol lol?

That whole scene is veryy vaguely inspired by my own first kiss so it was actually pretty easy to write and I just channeled my inner 15 year old (been a while for me too) into it

NOT THE LOINS LMAO I had a feeling you'd appreciate the "plot twist"

Azzi's just an overthinker BUT SHE'S WORKING ON IT! In the meantime I guess blondie has custody of their one shared braincell.

LMAO I don't think anyone will ever get to the level of edging that @pb524830 did like she's simply just the queen of sexual tension and making us suffer.

THE CAR SEAT SCENE REALLY WAS FOR YOU SO I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT

I'm so attached to Miss Buecks like I lowkey don't want to have Stephie call her anything else and I can't think of any other original nickname that only Stephie would call her.

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

Disclaimer: If nothing I say makes sense, it's probably because I'm so stressed I almost set the microwave on fire.

I'm glad to see that the Warriors knits headcanon is alive and well. In fact, it is thriving. This brings me immense joy because I've been losing my mind over it for the past several months, and it looks like it's here to stay. :) The best part is when someone writes a scene where Legend is embroidering/sewing and Warriors is knitting, and they're BONDING OVER THEIR CRAFTS.

In other news, I am seriously considering making glowing Warriors' power and having it be kind of like those glow-in-the-dark stickers people put on the ceilings of their kids' bedrooms. Hear me out. He can be powered by the sun, like a solar panel, and store the extra energy to do Cool Superhero Stuff with. The unfortunate side effect being that he tends to burn off excess energy by glowing in the dark. This means he has been explicitly banned from working night shifts because his cover would be blown.

It also means that he's the perfect nightlight for kids with nightmares.

I'm really looking forward to writing up more of the first meeting stories now that I've gotten the one about Legend & Wild posted, but since I'm making myself wait until I get the next chapter of Hyrule's fic up I'm just going to ramble at you about it instead.

I haven't decided which one to do next, but I have thought about the one for the trio (I also need a better name to refer to them). Anyway, I'm thinking that Twilight and Warriors actually grew up knowing each other, but sort of lost touch for a little while. Twilight was busy with the Twili stuff and getting used to his new abilities, while Warriors was in the middle of the mess with Cia. Sometime after that, they get back in touch, and they've both decided that they want to move out. Twilight wants to leave Ordon because he feels uncomfortable there now, and Warriors wants to move to a different district in Castletown to avoid anything related to Cia. Right around the same time, Sky is looking for roommates because he doesn't want to go to college in Skyloft or something. Ghirahim probably has something to do with it because I kind of doubt that he'd be very chill about Sky killing his master... Regardless, they get introduced to each other and the rest is history.

Slightly related to that, Sky is going to be an interesting combination of ideas here and is quickly becoming a favorite of mine for this project. He's kind of similar to Time because he's an incredibly powerful individual that dropped off the radar. He showed up, kicked villain butt, and then vanished (curtesy of Sun). I'm poking him because I have a lot of ideas about that. Maybe he doesn't like thinking about it? Maybe he doesn't remember what he did? Maybe it wasn't actually him and he was just possessed or something? Could he maybe be the source material for the experiment that made Wild? Is he just like this or is it trauma or his power(s) or did someone else do this to him?

Gnawing on all these questions as if I don't have things due tonight.

IM SO SORRY DUDE. they call me the kitchen appliance killer, i think the only thing safe from me is the stove and the blender- but i’m also afraid of fire so like, i don’t go near the stove anyway lmao 🕺 but fr I really hope you feel less stressed :(

YES YES YES. I love the wars knits headcanon it’s everything to me, i’ve been tryin to find a good place to throw it in a fic. AND WARS AND LEGEND BONDING OVER CRAFTS IS JUST PEAK

DO IT. DO IT, TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY. /j SOLAR POWERED NIGHT LIGHT GLOWSTICK WARS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

ooooooh okay okay, i like it >:)

istg the ‘hero/vigilante’ type au turning sky into peoples favorites is a real thing, it happened to me writing FH9. He’s my FAVORITE character in that ENTIRE au 😭 im so excited to see what you do with him in this 👁️👁️

remember to take care of yourself 🫶 get some water and snacks if you need em

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

Hello from Camp Northfield! Well, technically, I'm sitting on a bench outside the Dickinson Memorial Library down the street from camp, but still. I barely have access to technology here since the camp has no service whatsoever apart from phone calls out of the office, so I had to walk 45 minutes to get to the library to post this, but I'm here, and that's all that matters! I got your post notification on the walk to the library, but I can't read it because it refuses to load up here in the middle of East Bumfuck, so I think next time I plan to come here, I'm going to have to start binding our stories as books so that I have some form of entertainment between teaching archery courses and meal times. I swear, sitting around in between groups is like a new form of torture with this heat. It's been straight 80s-90s with heat indexes pushing it into the 100-105 range. I thought I was tan, to begin with, but now I look like the afterpicture of some cheese-filled recipe you find online - crispy and golden brown. I swear, I'm going to end up melting out here.

Anyway, enough about camp and the blistering heat!

I didn't realize it would be so damn hard to work on one story at a time when I have ideas for two completely different stories bouncing around in my head. Now that I'm away from home and have nothing other than notebooks to write my ideas in, I'm realizing just how screwed I am, as ideas for everything under the sun have been vying for my attention. I swear, it's like a volleyball game with my last shred of a brain cell as the ball. STDP is obviously one with 33 pages of the next "episode" done while I'm still in the beginning stages of the chapter, but Camp Wanamaker 2: Electric Boogaloo has been bouncing around in the background like a child hopped up on sugar. That's probably not going to be the official title, by the way, but that's what I've been referring to it as, so that's what I'm calling it until I decide what else to call it 🤣

I'm also constantly pestered with ideas for three other stories - True Colors (Through the Valley sequel), The Mark of the Archer (Percy Jackson AU), and Unsinkable (a super long one-shot, Titanic AU I've talked about before). As these all require a lot of research (the last of the three being part of the birthday surprise I was going to work on for you as it's very Carrie/Miles-centric), they'll require more time to be worked on when I get home at the end of the month, but where I've already started on STDP and parts of CW2, I don't think they'll make an appearance for a while, especially not the multi-chapter ones.

In the meantime, I'm definitely going to be working on STDP as it's my primary story right now, but I'm working on CW2 in little bursts on my phone when someone with a hotspot stops to chill with me - writing down ideas and quotes and working on one chapter that's been gnawing at the bars of its cage for a long time now lmao. Like I said, I have notebooks, but carpal tunnel sucks, and I have to take a lot of breaks from writing STDP. Now, while you wait for me to get home from camp and write out more, I have a gift! Alongside my chapter title ideas (and a few of my side notes for a few lmao) that I plan on incorporating into a few stories when the time comes, I'm also giving you a random snippet I enjoyed writing that will go into CW2 further down the line and two other snippets - one from STDP and the other from CW2. None of them have been edited yet, and I think I wrote some parts more in the present tense than I normally do, but that's just how I do it sometimes when I'm scribbling things out, so I guess you could consider this your warning so you won't be too thrown off by that. Also, I left them a bit vague for a reason, and I won't say which one belongs to which story, but I'd love to see if you can figure out what belongs where. Besides, I'm always up for a bit of light torture, so enjoy!

Here are a few of my chapter title ideas to give you a good idea of how some of these stories will progress...

And now, I hope you enjoy these little tidbits of chapters you'll hopefully see soon after I get home!

[apoli-meow]

!REUPLOAD!

Sorry to the person who commented on the original, I see you

~~~

Still listening to Cult of Dionysus.. My parents are worried

Shoutout to that one guy who keeps encouraging me in the first few hours of posting I love you sm

~~~

Sylviaaaaa (tbh she's like the least developed character cuz she's my least favorite (she's just kinda boring ig) but she does have somethings!!)

Name: Sylvia 'Zee' Zbornak

Age: 16

Sexuality: WOMEN- I mean lesbian (butch ofc)

Pronouns: she/her

Race: Mayan (mayan women are so beautiful istgggg- 😭😭💓💓... Sorry just my inner lesbian acting up)

Height: 173 cm (5'7 feet 🙄🙄)

Personality: tired jock, has braincells, is quickly losing them. The only thing that's keeping her from going insane is wander.

~ Random facts ~

• Has 3 younger brothers (triplets, age 10, idc abt canon at this point), her father is dead (yay for me inflicting trauma on my characters)

• Loves motorcycles

• MCR, G.L.O.S.S., Dream Wife (tbh I don't really know any of them at all, but I listened to a couple of their songs and they sound like something she would listen to lmao)

• Gym bros with Hater, they beat up eachother a lot (and beat up other people too)

• Was the one who bullied Peepers in middle school

• Now it's just awkward cuz she feels guilty but also takes no shit

• They are lowkey pissed at eachother but are forced to hang out together since they have the same friend group (hater and sylv becoming friends, wander and peepers kinda reconciling), so they have this sorta agreement to just not address their history (which is working out terribly but anything is better than communication ig)

• She was kind of a terrible person in middle school ngl

• Wander helped her change tho

• Dating Domi obv cuz these two are meant to be

• Her love language is being protective and putting pins on her bag for you. So a couple of them are actually not for her but for her friends ;)

• Her aesthetic is obviously punk but she's definitely more on the chill side.

• Not sure what else to say. Her tattoo is a quetzal bird, a symbol of freedom so I thought it would be perfect for her! Also it's really pretty <3

• Oh, I just remember - her water bottle is a gift from Wander (which is why it's so bright and colourful). She couldn't refuse a gift.

~~~

Yeah, that's basically it. I definitely had fun with this drawing.

Who should I make a post about next? Wander, Domi or Hater? (be warned, Hater is kinda ooc (I'm doing my best here))

Plz respond 🥲 (asking people to respond worked before right?..)

P.S. here's her tattoo ik nobody needs it but I spent an hour on it

[stellarspecter]

20 questions for writers

i was tagged by @devondespresso and @spicysix! thanks guys!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68! oh shit my next fic is my 69th i gotta finish that smut fic STAT

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

191,966. crazy

3. What fandoms do you write for?

most recently, stranger things, but i've also written a lot for julie and the phantoms and be more chill. and then various other oneshots for random stuff

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Befriend the Bully - Nerdy Prudes Must Die, 868 kudos (and 3rd most kudos'ed fic in the hatchetfield fandom???)

Saint Frost - Rise of the Guardians, 593 kudos

Me Too - Percy Jackson & the Olympians, 392 kudos

Hopefully - Be More Chill, 286 kudos

All This Feeling Second Best, It's Got Me by the Throat - Julie and the Phantoms, 249 kudos

most of those are pretty old so it makes sense that they've had the time to accumulate kudos, but that means they were also written when i was in high school so it's kind of like 😬

5. Do you respond to comments?

i used to more, now i don't really unless they said something that i specifically want to comment on. i just kind of forget or don't have anything to say lmao

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably my troped round 1 fic, you look like you've just seen a monster (is that what i look like to you?). usually i like to have a happy ending but i wrote this in like two days the week of my first breakup. so uh yeah couldn't really think of happy ending for that one.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

pretty much anything else lmao. i love to write fluff and cuddles and shit like that so just go read any other of my fics

8. Do you get hate on fics?

the only hate on fics i can remember ever getting was back in my bmc days when i wrote meremine and someone was mad bc michael is gay and didn't like that i put him in a throuple with a woman. but like other than that clown behavior no not really lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have one (1) smut fic published and it is on a different account because i was so scared of jatp fandom being mean lmao. luckily i only got nice comments on it so i will share that you can go read it here. i mean it was probably kind of obvious that it was me because there are only so many ppl into that rarepair? but idk jatp mutuals lmk who you thought it was lsdfksjf

i have been trying to write steddie smut recently, i have a wip that i'm working on that i will hopefully finish soon. if anyone would like to beta that lmk lol 👀 it is pretty kinky i will say lol but like. that's steddie for ya

10. Do you write crossovers?

not really. i'm more likely to just make an au of something for whichever fandom i'm currently obsessed with

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so? ppl would be welcome to do so tho

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no. co-brainstormed and went crazy in the dms about it tho? oh yeah

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

evidence shows it to be steddie, at least for now. i'm a big multishipper so a better question would more be "what do i find myself most often in the mood for?" and the answer would still be steddie sldkfjs

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

vampire chrissy fic i want to do right by you i fear i may not.... i signed it up for the wip big bang tho so hopefully i do actually get it done

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue! i love writing dialogue. screenwriting is awesome because it's just dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

hrmm action scenes. repetitive prose. actually sitting down and plotting something cohesively

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

nothing against it but i'm only fluent in english so i'd consult someone else who actually speaks that language

19. First fandom you wrote for?

doctor who in middle school :) i wrote my fics in my little writing notebook and some of them are even on ao3 lol

20. Favorite fic you've written?

like i said earlier with the favorite ship question, this is tough to answer because i feel like it comes down to more what am i in the mood for most often. i'm pretty proud of my trans steve fic as well as aro bi reggie, both of them because i spent a long time trying to make sure i doing the representation right and i think i did a good job. also that sad bobby polycurve fic from the kudos question, i put a lot of myself in it and i feel very proud of how it came out.

no-pressure tagging: @wr0temyway0ut @zazujoy @sunsetcurvecuddles @chickwiththepurpleguitar @weneedglitter

@queenofthequillandink @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @innytoes @floating-in-the-blue @invisibleraven

and anyone else who wants to do it!

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 5 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader (briefly for now)

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, SMUT!! (minors dni!!!), heavy make out sesh lol, slight nipple play, cockblocking the readers, Chan being depressed/disappointed in himself, profanity, mental issues, angst, clichés (I’m a fan of them), typos, change of povs. Flashbacks, which are closer to the end, are in italics. Another set of Taylor Swift references + some One Direction and Harry Styles ones, even a GOT7 reference… very creative of me lol

Author’s note: another depressive episode for everyone in “the perfume on the shelf”, definitely not something you expected to see when you started reading this work lmao hope you liked it!! Let me know what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 4 | Part 6

Chan could feel the walls shaking from the way you slammed the door. Only after having heard the angry stomps fade away, he laid down on the bed, hands covering his face. That’s for the good, he thought, she’ll be better off without me.

Of course he lied to you. Of-fucking-course!

However, some of his words were true — those ones about ‘the thrill expiration’ especially. It happened to him quite often not to notice the pattern: since the middle school, if a girl reciprocated his feelings, he started growing cold. He tried to make it better later in life, going to therapy to find out the reason of it — but nothing worked. His pride was definitely damaged when another girlfriend of his broke up with him, but it wasn’t for long. The breakup just turned into a great opportunity to make an album, to make his tiny misery bring him any profit possible.

Something similar happened with his last girlfriend. When she was a bit detached, still pining over her ex but already dating Chan, he was infatuated. The second she realized she had feelings for him, Chris got that chills down his spine — the first sign he was falling out of love. No amount of therapy really helped.

Though, he tried. He tried really fucking hard with his last girlfriend: they even went to a couple therapy several times, before she eventually realized he was the problem.

“I can’t fix you”, she said during their last conversation, “and I’m not supposed to. You’ve gotta fix it yourself”.

She was right, Chan knew that. Every time he got out of a relationship, he realized what a mistake it had been to get attached to someone in the first place. But he just couldn’t help it. A pretty girl, with similar hobbies, more intelligent than he’d ever be, but with no feelings towards him? A jackpot. And all her quirks he adored so much turned into annoying habits the moment she uttered “I love you” in response.

He hoped it wouldn’t happen with you. The second he realized he’d been in love that whole time, Chris wished you’d never reciprocate. He could’ve spent his entire life being your best friend, having sex with you and just loving you without having his feelings acknowledged. Yeah, that’s the moment when he resisted therapy. Chan himself stated he couldn’t do anything about it: this unrequited shit just happened.

However, that wasn’t the whole truth. He could do a lot of things about it, but he just wouldn’t. ‘Cause living like that was easier. It was a familiar scenario, a path he’d walked on thousand times. His therapist had tried every thing possible to get Chris to work it out, but Chan and his stubbornness, his unwillingness to fix anything worked harder.

But with you? What could he do with you?

Chan remembered the feeling vividly. When he got the message, when he realized you were going to leave him there was no chill going down his spine, there was no growing coldness, no relief. Only pure fear that you would disappear from his life forever. And losing you without actually loving you… It seemed like a nightmare. What would he do without your dolphin-like laugh? You, the only person, who rolled on the floor after another set of his dad jokes, you, who brought in your own pile of puns just to make him smile.

What would he do if you suddenly disappeared? Not something he could imagine. He got used to calling you at night just to hear your voice, got used to running his hand through your hair whenever you kissed him, to hearing your whimpers when he roamed his hands over your body. He couldn’t imagine his life without you in it.

Although now he would have to adjust to the new realia.

He kicked you out from outer space back to Earth, with no spacesuit on. And Chan could only imagine the way the falling must hurt.

“What you are saying”, his therapist (one of many) once asked, “is that you love the process of ‘chasing’. Correct?”

“Yeah”.

“What else do you like about it?”

“The fact that I can make an album out of it”.

True. He could’ve been hurt by a breakup, but music would always put him back on his feet. Music, that was his solace, his guardian angel, had always made him more and more successful and popular, despite the broken heart and fucked up mental state. A harsh word spat at him, or his unrequited love rejected — everything was turned into a tune, a poem, a song. Every little detail of all his relationships. All but the one with you.

Maybe he’d find inspiration to write weeks later, who knows. However, now was the time to suffer in silence, no poetic lyrics coming into his head. Chris suspected that, perhaps, he wouldn’t be able to create anything at all: he was hurt, hurt so terribly by his own actions that making something decent out of it couldn’t be possible.

“Holy shit”, the thought ran through his head, “even now I’m thinking about music, about making money? What kind of an asshole am I?”

A heartless piece of shit, as you put it. And you were right.

His only chance to redeem himself as a partner, you slipped away as if you had never been there. A vivid dream, full of graphic details of every move of your body, those birthmarks on your thighs, and the feeling of your nails digging into his shoulders. He would savour the moments till he sucked them dry, until nothing but intolerance to the very thought of you would be left.

Because he dropped your reaching hand, brushed off the soothing touch, pushed you away. Chan wouldn’t have ever forgiven someone who treated him this way; whether he was a masochist of a sort, willingly loving people unconditionally, that type of attitude would have been a full stop. Although deep inside his twisted heart he hoped you’d take him back.

Chan dreaded coming back home, lying in bed, falling into the loneliness again. This time he couldn’t reason with himself — there were no excuses to his atrocious actions. It wasn’t the case of the “expired thrill”, as he had lied confidently before, it was the case of him hurting you even more if there was no rejection. What if he lost interest when the two of you would get more serious, married, with kids? What if he lost interest and hurt you more? He couldn’t allow any more pain he could cause you; even him genuinely reciprocating the feelings, loving you in every way possible couldn’t do anything. In his chase for potentially unresponsive partners Chan had become someone else. Someone even he wouldn’t want around.

But the question never left. Didn’t he take it too far? Allowing you to fall in love with him and turning your friendship into this mess? To be honest, the friendship was never one hundred percent genuine: Chris had always held hopes in getting with you, even if he was dating someone at any point of that period.

Perhaps, letting all of this happen was his ‘revenge’ master plan from the beginning. He’d fallen for you quite quickly, never really hiding the fact of it. You were oblivious to his flirtations, too engrossed in the relationship with Yugyeom. Shit, Chris hated that motherfucker. Chan could never really comprehend what was so special about Kim Yugyeom to you. Was it his height? Him being the top class student? His exchange program at Columbia University? Chris even asked you once, but you started talking about some nonsense he didn’t understand at the time. Something about… Yugyeom picking you up in his arms whenever you fell over, Yugyeom being your only solace in the world.

Why was it Yugyeom? Why? Chan couldn’t accept the fact that you held onto your first love so much and so long just because of some stupid cheesy shit. Was Kim Yugyeom there when you drank yourself unconscious because of the breakup with him? Was Yugyeom there when you broke your leg and had to stay home for over a month? Nope, he wasn’t. Chris was. He was there at every high and low, at every little win and major lose — same as you were for him. But you never noticed Chan loving you. You would hug him tightly, peck him on his cheeks, praise his success and cheer him up at his losses, but never, ever loving him back. So maybe, you finally falling in love with him was an act of vengeance for his unrequited love.

But what did he achieve with this master plan of his? You leaving him? A tremendous success, Chris. He would never win this battle: no matter how much he hurt you, your relationship with him would never be mourned by you as much as the one with your ex. Shit, you were still wearing that damn necklace with Yugyeom’s initials! After all these years! Chan had given you a ring as a present, hoping you’d take off the necklace, but you never did. And that was when Chris realized whose name was carved in your heart. Lingered like a fucking tattoo, that first love of yours.

And four years ago, when you were already single, when Yugyeom came to Seoul at one of his rare visits after he stayed in New York… You were out with Chris, a typical Friday night out for the two of you. Food, beer, gossiping, planning to have a movie night at his place. Just two best friends enjoying their time together, when you suddenly asked Chris whether he was okay if you left. And your tipsy explanation, eyes reddening and welling up with tears, because it was Yugyeom, and you had to, just had to see him once again. Chan couldn’t stand to see you crying, so he let you go, gaslighting himself into thinking, “It’s the last time, she’ll forget about him soon”. A lie you would frequently tell everyone, yourself included, was that you got over Yugyeom. ‘Cause you never did. And Chris mercilessly hoped you were as hurt now as he had been before.

If so, why did it cause him so much pain? Why wasn’t he happy and relieved you were finally in his shoes? Why?

“You’re a fucking moron”, Minho’s voice sounded exactly like Chan’s inner one. The man was his inner voice, his conscience indeed.

“Yeah, I know”.

“What did you tell her? The same bullshit you said to me?”

“I’m tired, Minho”.

Lee Know huffed. “Tired of being an ass to people who love you? Can’t believe it”.

“What d’you wanna hear from me? That I’m sorry? That I shouldn’t have done all that? You think, I don’t know that already?”

Minho shook his head, his piercing gaze starring right into Chan’s twisted soul. “I think, you’ll lose everyone if you keep this bullshit on”.

The next day hit Chan heavily, like an avalanche falling and burying him under the snow. He hated the snow, winter and cold; everything related to a slight chill resulted in Chris’ mood dropping to its lowest.

But now it was the middle of July, with warm wind blowing through the trees and sun shining. Chan stood in the hospital park outside the building, starring straight into the sun, with no sunglasses on. No protection to his eyes, maybe he’d go blind — it was the least of the punishments he could’ve gotten for what he did to you. He despised the tiniest image of himself.

The eyes eventually became teary, making Chan squeeze them and cover his face with the palm of his hand. How would blindness help to redeem yourself, dumbass?

Chris sat down on the bench, his thumb scrolling down your texts. You tended to be pretty active on social media, always posting stories and tweeting, but it was radio silence for a week. Firstly, you were probably too stressed to post, only having your cat show up on your stories occasionally; secondly, you were too busy with your job — as you always had been, Chan knew that too well — and worrying about him. Thirdly, you always disappeared from the ‘public’ eye whenever your life turned into shit. And this time it was truly fucked up.

Chris had typed dozens of messages everywhere his hand could reach you. He typed, erased, typed again, went back to his notes, hesitated to send and erased. It was a vicious cycle he repeated over hours. And not once during this time had you sent him a word. Perhaps, he had found the answer to the question he kept on asking himself, “Who’s gonna be the first to say goodbye?”

You tried to, but it was Chan who pushed you away. He could only sit there and overthink every little detail, absorbing in the memory of you, still hoping — maybe, you’d take him back, maybe it was going to be over in mere time.

“Maybe if I write her a song, a thousand songs, maybe she’ll come back?” Yeah? And what happened to actually apologizing? To saying sorry using your fucking mouth while being face-to-face?

Chan didn’t know how to properly apologize. What could he have said for you to actually forgive him? It seemed that no word or action would ever bring you peace and make you forget his harsh monologue.

Chris got back to the hospital room, his mom collecting his things. They didn’t talk much; his parents were still outraged with him — no wonder, you fucker — however, they stayed with him, silently waiting for him to defrost like a fucking Anna at the end of “Frozen”.

His dad was there too, helping him, letting Chris lean on him while walking. Chan was finally going home, and there were only his parents to take him there. Minho left as well; Chan knew it was his fault again that his best friend lost every bit of hope and trust in him. Lee Know wasn’t the one to sulk over every little thing; but if he happened to be fed up with shit, he wouldn’t stay. He’d disappear for some time to clear his mind. “And maybe to realize what a shitty friend I’d been”, Chris thought, entering the apartment.

His parents didn’t ask either about Minho or you; Lee Know had probably told them everything already. Whatever, Chris lied in his back on the floor in the living room, he’ll thaw out eventually. Han used to say they were like an old married couple, a young, successful singer and his choreographer, the closest friends you’d see in the industry. Since the moment they met four years ago, there wasn’t a moment they didn’t share, always being together. Now Chan felt as if that time was over. He knew how deeply he hurt Minho, spitting poisonous words at him too. He hurt the two people love the most besides his parents.

“Channie, I’ve made dinner. Eat with us, please”. His mom sat down on the floor beside him, cautiously observing her son. She ran her hands through his hair, the thing he loved when he was a kid. She noticed him growing up, but never expected to find her son so lost and broken. And it ripped her heart apart to know they couldn’t help him unless he made the first step towards everyone and everything.

“I’m not hungry”, he mumbled, eyes closed. “You and dad, you two should eat. I’ll do it later. Maybe”.

She singed and stroked his cheek, getting up from the floor. She was his mother, but he was a full grown adult. She couldn’t fix his problems and save him as she used to do when he fell down when he was a kid. He had to get up himself now.

Though, was he capable of it?

Chan didn’t know how much time passed. He might have dozed off to be awoken by his dad, who gently asked him to move to the bed. Obliging and getting up, Chris noticed it had gotten dark outside; that whole day was a blur.

Lying down on the bed, he checked his phone. Still nothing from you. Radio silence from Minho. Only Han texting him non-stop, some of his friends in the industry checking up on him in the DMs. Putting Jisung aside, the rest of the people were strangers. Those, who Chan wanted to hear from, got evicted from the big apartment of his heart by the vicious landlord. The latter, obviously, was Chris himself.

He dozed off again. Everything seemed just so… Pointless. Pointless to beg for forgiveness, pointless to try and fix something. This time, he massively fucked up. And Chan had no idea if there was a way out of it.

Every day turned into a blur. He’d wake up, lay there for half an hour, thinking of you, envisioning you while jerking off, imagining it was your hand, your hot breath on his neck, your kisses on his jaw. He’d be ashamed of himself, turning another memory of you into dirty thoughts; he missed every little thing about you. After showering he’d have breakfast, his parents long gone to work, but a small note from each of them on the fridge door. They got back to their house after a few days and a doctor’s visit, as he told that Chan’s recovery was quite successful. He didn’t really need much help anymore; the pain had faded — but only the physical one. Three weeks had passed since he last saw you and Minho.

And since then, every day turned into Groundhog Day. Same routine, eating what his parents cooked, talking to them over the phone or spending time at their house, just to fill in the hole inside. Han would come and see him almost every day, bringing those stupid board games he was obsessed with. Chan was grateful to have at least one true friend left.

Jisung didn’t ask any questions and insinuate any conversations. Only occasionally Chan would catch him texting someone — he saw Minho’s name on screen — and he had to physically restrain himself from dropping to his knees and beg Han to arrange a meeting with Lee Know. If he only got through this shit with his best friend, he’d get you back too. However, Chris never asked.

He only leaned towards sleeping, napping his problems away. Drowning in the memories and dreams of you, Chan found himself losing those thin threads connecting him to reality. He’d fall asleep, confident you were there, only to wake up to an empty bed.

Today he dozed off early again. When he woke up, Chan blinked slowly before staring into the ceiling again. The room was dark, as the flat itself. Han had probably left already, perhaps, another board game not to discreetly put on the shelf. Yeah, he did. It was 1:31 A.M. It was too late for someone like Jisung to go home past midnight.

Chris looked to his right, to the empty space where you used to lay. He swore to himself at that exact moment that he’d stay in this place, in this bed forever if you magically appeared there the next second. He would stay anywhere, freeze in his movement, turn into an icy sculpture that could melt under the sun — anything. He would do anything to have you here, with him, at that moment and for eternity.

Chan could almost feel the smell of the shampoo in your hair, while you were lying there, back pressed against his chest. His arm you used as a pillow would always go numb, but he’d keep it there, right under your head — just to absorb in you as much as possible. He wished he could have traced his fingers along your arm, feeling the shivers appear, and leaving small kisses on your shoulder. Never in a million years he ever felt this much ache inside his chest.

Images of you started floating in his head — not that they ever left — your face, your hands massaging his back, your laugh. He could still drown in the aroma of that perfume you used, the one that you were keeping on the bookshelf in your bedroom. You couldn’t bare using any fragrance as the smells made you sick (no matter how good they were, you just weren’t built for this kind of thing), but Chan remembered one specific moment. That moment now resulted in this perfume being the smell he couldn’t live without.

“Either take it off, or I’ll gladly do it for you”.

You stood in front of the mirror in Chan’s room, a new bathing suit on. You tried it on multiple times: at the outlet, at home after washing it and now here, in his room. You wanted to hear the honest opinion of his, but Chris only tended to spill out vulgar remarks concerning your appearance. Not that you hated it.

“Ugh, shut up”, you groaned, turning to look at your back in the mirror. A two-piece bikini really accentuated your ass and hip dips. That was good, but… You had never worn a two-piece bikini after you turned nineteen. You gained some weight and had the same body shape for years; despite never being shamed for your body, you felt insecure, even after losing some of the weight due to exercising with Chan. He basically made you suffer at the gym — all because you once said you needed a personal trainer to actually start working out. He took in that position immediately. Even though the trainings with him were truly resulting in your body transforming, lately it all turned into overly sexual workouts. He would be behind you, too close for a trainer, hands on your hips, his bulge dangerously close to your entrance. Every freaking time you two would end up having a quickie in his car after. Every time.

You sighed, turning to face yourself in the mirror again. You didn’t have abs, but your squishy belly was almost gone, now replaced with muscles and something close to mid-flatness (Chris said there was no such thing, but you disagreed). You always felt like people were judging you while wearing a bathing suit; and now, in a freaking bikini, would they judge you even more?

“What’s wrong?” Chris was behind you in no time, arms wrapped around your waist and his head on your shoulder. He looked at you through the reflection in the mirror, picking on your slightly confused face.

“I dunno if”, you stuttered, your palms landing on his hands, “if I look okay in the bikini”.

“Okay?” The tone of his voice, the guttural sound he let out made you chuckle. “Are you kiddin’ me? You look fantastic”, he whispered, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

And when you wanted to say something else, to somehow doubt his words again, Chris slightly moved, his half-hard dick pressing into your ass. You arched your back almost automatically, scarcely catching the moan from escaping you mouth.

A pleased hum in response from him. You felt his hot breath on your neck, lips leaving burning kissed on your neck. “Shit, baby”, his eager hands roaming around your body, “you smell so fucking good. Did you put it on just for me?”

A choked answer, something incoherent left your mouth. When Chan’s hand untied the straps of your swimsuit bottom, you could swear you would turn into ashes right then and there.

“I’m gonna go crazy”, he growled into your neck, hands firmly holding you waist, keeping you in your place. “I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t fuck you right now”.

You gulped, head still spinning slowly. You were always too easy to break into pieces with his touch only, it was a fact. Although today you wanted to last longer. You wanted to win that round.

Turning around, you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers in his hair. “You’re only interested in me when you wanna fuck, Christopher?”

Chan remembered being taken aback by your words, the boldness in your voice he had never heard before. He liked that; he liked that you could be bold when he didn’t expect you to. But that question… How could you even think that?

“I’m interested in you when I wanna fuck, that’s true”, he answered, lips brushing over your nose, “but I only wanna fuck you, ever”.

“That’s a terrible answer”, you relied, chuckling under your breath. “Still sounds like I’m just a fuck toy to you”.

Chan buried his head in the crook of your neck, sighing deeply. He whined your name into your skin, the sensation of his lips on your most sensitive part making you rub your thighs slightly. Almost automatically begging for friction.

“You’re not a fuck toy”, Chan went on, trailing kisses along your neck, “you’re much more than that”. You mewled in response, resulting in Chris grabbing a handful of your ass. “So much more, baby”.

Goddamn it. That was true; you were much more than a fuck buddy, a friend with benefits — you were his entire world wrapped in a lovely jewel, whose shine reflected on him. But only slightly. The rays of your solar system reached his black hole in small doses only — enough to cling onto them for his existence’s sake, but not enough to make you his and his Sun only. Your solar system, no matter how much time passed, was shining just for Yugyeom, waiting for him to take the sunlight in, to be absorbed in the sun beams.

How Chris wished he had met you earlier. Before Yugyeom, maybe when you were kids, so that you and him would’ve been ‘childhood friends to lovers’.

Chan envied Yugyeom. The blackest waves of purest hatred towards the man you’d been in love with rose inside Chris. Probably that was the thing that couldn’t let Chan believe you loved him back just as much — his inner voice, that overthinking anxious coward insinuating you would come back to Yugyeom in a heartbeat. The reality of the things didn’t really matter — only Chan projecting his insecurities onto you did.

He rubbed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh. Chris was running on empty with that constant overthinking. He’d rather be back there, in this same bedroom several months ago, when none of it went down the drain yet.

When you were underneath his body in mere seconds, every word of yours swallowed by his hungry kisses. The bikini top was still on; however, Chan got rid of his clothes, wearing his boxers only. He just liked the view, the yellow piece of clothing barely covering those parts of the body he’d be the only one to see.

Your whole body ached because Chris only kissed you. His hands were squeezing your waist, but never reached the places where you craved them to be. Not that Chan didn’t want to, quite the opposite — the way you arched your back every time his boner brushed over your bare core, the way you whimpered, trying to get him touch you. But he just couldn’t miss the opportunity to tease you.

“Ch-Chris”, you inhaled sharply, legs wrapping around his waist, “please”.

He smirked, lips crushing onto yours in another passionate kiss, and his hand finally moving up your body.

“Why did you buy it?” He breathed out, fingers lingering over your already hardened nipple. “It’s so fucking revealing. Do you want”, he moved the fabric to expose your boobs, “everyone to see this?”

His mouth landed onto your nipple in an instant, licking, sucking, biting — all in a spin of a moment, not letting you adjust to one sensation only. You made a strangled noise, eyes closed to give in the feeling of him only. Chan’s left hand was massaging your other breast, not leaving any part of your body unattended.

The sight of you, so lost in pleasure of him sucking on your nipples only… He could come from this, from having you fall apart under the slightest of his touch.

The memories were so real, that vision of you being right here and now was so true, Chris caught himself palming his growing bulge through the fabric of his pajama pants. Shit. If you were here, if he could only tell you how much he loved you, how much he cherished you loving him back, if he could reassure you it was different now, that he never really meant what he told you weeks ago… If only.

A sudden sound of the doorbell interrupted his reminiscence of the past, making Chris jump up in the bed. He was panting, his heart was racing — he wasn’t expecting guests at such an hour.

Moving extra cautiously, Chan approached the door. At first, he didn’t doubt the sight he witnessed through the peephole was another hallucination his touch-starved mind showed him. Upon the second look… It was not a mirage.

He opened the door in an instant, struggling not to pull you in and capture you in his embrace, so that you’d never leave him again. But he just stood there, staring, gawking at you, the gaze of yours never leaving his eyes.

“Hi”.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf

[specter-writes]

Today im feeling "ship" so hear me out poly!lumity, huntlow, and raeda hcs

LUMITY:

-movie nights, where luz is in the middle and you and amity are both curled up next to her (with popcorn!!)

-sharing earphones but since there's only two ending up unplugging them and blasting music

-hugs. all the hugs. e v e r y h u g

-SPANISH PET NAMES

-I think lumity would be an established couple already, maybe you're luz' or amity's best friend, and you have feelings for them both, and shit goes down yada yada and you join the relationship

-flower crowns??????? flower crowns.

-BEING PART OF THE GOOD WITCH AZURA BOOKCLUB

-also spending hours in the library together, reading aloud or just separately, not really talking but still feeling together

HUNTLOW:

-I think it'd really domestic you feel?

-like baking and picnics, and just... Small little things

-tripping over a rock and having willow freak out but try to keep it together while hunter internally implodes at th sight of blood

-willow is the only chill

-you and hunter are simply chaos gremlins

-making lunches the night before school/work/events/whatever together

-willow tries to teach you to take care of plants but you're shit at it

-infodumping all about your special interests to each other

-not having to make eye contact because it makes hunter uncomfortable (it also makes me uncomfortable lmao)

-human AU takes, willow a theater kid + aspiring voice actor, hunter is a comic book artist, they both listen to rock in slightly different genres (willow is more into modern indie while hunter prefers 90s/2000s era stuff), willow is part of an environmental conservation club, she plays volleyball, and hunter is like the quiet kid stereotype

-hunter is heavily musical, expect to either listen to a lot of practice or practice with him if you play

-showing up to flyer derby matches and practices to cheer them on

-idk why but I think you 3 would frequent ice cream shops

RAEDA:

-you and raine used to date after raeda broke up, and then you got with eda much later on in your life. reunion bullshit and eventually here you are with a two step children and the same number of spouses

-eda was always opposed to the idea of marriage---not dating, marriage. she thought it was weird. then she actually met people she wanted to marry. on the other hand, Raine always loved the idea, they thought it was romantic. they were a little worried they'd make a mistake though

-well after a few years of marriage, tthey can confirm they did not make a mistake, and they couldn't be happier with their wife and spouse

-raine isn't great at cooking. none of you are honestly. eda is passable at best but has burnt more than she's done well.youre probably the best over all, by that's really not saying much

-more flower crowns

-having a part in raines rhapsody and some of their other compositions

-3-way hugs

-being 2nd and 3rd parental figures to king and.... Like 273762th to luz? She has a lot atp

-grudgby matches

-you got a schedule for chores. raine usually cleans, you usually cook, and eda listens to luz explain the plot of the good witch azura for the 33rd time

-helping eda and Raine with their night terrors

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Some aaron and latina!reader concepts!!

1. Aaron planning a trip to your home country and you think he just wants to visit ur family but secretly him & ur family plan to have him propose!!

2. Aaron dancing with your newly born baby while humming reina de mi amour to her!! (this especially is my fav since my middle name is reyna)

3. Aaron and the baby chilling with your nana (abuelita, abuela, etc..) while you and your cousins are being chismosas

4. Doing sana sana on jack and like during of of his soccer games he comes over to you and asks for you to do the froggy thing on his scratched knee!! And maybe aaron comes back from a case a bitc roughed up and jack attempts doing it for aaron!!

5. You buying aaron some cowboy boots and a hat for a quince and then buying some for jack

6. Aaron watching with a smile on his face as you and your other cousins get into the bouncy castle and toss each other around in there (as a kid I crawled out of those with PTSD stg)

7. My Prima is my nail tech and so being chismosas we talk about family drama and I can see aaron going with and being interested in the drama and if she says something in Spanish he asks for a translation!!

8. Taking aaron home w/ you and him being fascinated by how your family works around each other (My brother's Gf was this way when she first met us and went on vacation with my whole family and she thought dinner and breakfast were chaotic since everyone was crowded together in a small kitchen) - 🎀 Anon

AAAAA FIRST OF ALL not only would i want to get engaged back home but ALSO GETTING MARRIED THERE IN A LIL CHAPEL OR A CATHEDRAL IN A PUEBLO PLEASSEEEEEEE ❤️😭 i need it!!!

Also yes 100% agree and love the idea of Aaron being the biggest chismoso 😭🤪 like he always needs to know everything!! And he’ll gasp and make his own comments as he listens 😂😂😅 even if he’s carrying your baby and she gurgles or makes a noise he’s all like “I know right? How could she.” LMAOOOO

I too have ptsd from the bouncy castles oooooooofffff i feel like maybe even a mild concussion lmao 😅🥲 i can imagine Jack giving you the sana sana colita de rana treatment after you went in the bouncy castle ahahahahaha

ALSO PLEASSEEEEE @reads4hotch and I are always talking about Aaron in a cowboy hat and boots and a big belt and a rosary …. The list goes on 😅😂 i love that we’re not the only ones to have this fantasy lmaooo!! ❤️❤️❤️

Aaaaaa these were soooo good as always i love solidifying Aaron with a latina wife !!! 🥹❤️