#just getting massaged and fixed until i hate it an acceptable amount

[allthingsmustfall]

“You got twenty minutes to make yourself look like something someone would pay to fuck, otherwise, we’re both getting tortured to death in the belly of a fucking bounty hunter ship. If you think you have time to ask me questions, then how about you just take that stupid fucking vibrosword you think you’ve got hidden in your fucking boot and shove it in my kidneys and make Cad Bane’s job that much fucking easier.” Kallus glared balefully at a bottle of age Stewjoni brandy perched high behind the bar, visibly seething. “I’ll only need ten.”

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch7: Old Habits Die Hard

Part 1

Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: The Losers head to Mexico for Pooch’s wedding but there’s something wrong with Stella…

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson

Warnings: Bad language and a whole heap of angst.

A/N: So this chapter is a LONG one- so it’s split into a number of parts, to be posted over the next week or so. A LOT going down, and we really hope you enjoy it as it’s our favourite one to date for these pair of dumbasses.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. We do not own any characters in this series bar Stella Stevenson and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 6

 April 2008

Clay, Roque, Cougar and Jake arrived in Mexico on a glorious Thursday morning, two days before Pooch's wedding and wasted no time in settling into their hotel and kicking back with a few drinks, soaking up the sun and taking the chance to relax. Cougar was in his element, being in his native country and an area which he knew particularly well. That evening he took them away from the resort of Cozumel to a little village fifteen miles or so inland where they visited a few back alley bars he knew, meeting up with a couple of his friends. The Losers then found themselves roped into several games of poker, all of them losing a fairly substantial amount of money until Clay, rather sensibly, called time on the gambling to avoid Future Mrs Pooch going thermonuclear at them for gambling away any future Mini Pooches’ inheritance money. They somehow made it back to the hotel and managed to deliver Pooch safely to his intended. The man could hardly stand by the time they got back thanks to the copious amount of Tequila he had consumed, something Clay, Roque and Jensen were quick to blame on Cougar when an irate Jolene opened the door to their suite, a furious look on her face.

As it stood, the hangovers they were all suffering on Friday morning were clearly their penance for leading Pooch astray. Jake had woken up with a mouth like he had been eating sand, and had stood in a cold shower for fifteen minutes solid trying to find it in him to function like a normal human being. He headed down for breakfast ten minutes before the hotel was due to stop serving and spotted Clay, Cougar and Roque sat at a table on the outside balcony, all sporting sunglasses and looking as bad as he felt. Jensen helped himself to as much as his plate could handle from the buffet and tucked in. He was beyond thankful that the food went someway to actually settling his churning stomach as opposed to making it worse. As he downed his fourth orange juice of the morning, he felt his mobile buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out, his lips quirking into a smile as he read the message.

"It's Stel." He announced to the table. "She says ETA about forty minutes."

"How come she isn't here already?" Roque asked and Jensen rolled his eyes.

"Agent Shit-name was working, apparently. Meant they could only fly out early this morning." He swallowed the bite of toast he had rather viciously taken at the thought of Stel’s asshat boyfriend.

"Touchy subject." Clay looked at Roque. "Pooch is still low-key pissed she missed his Batchelor party."

Roque said nothing, simply raised his eyebrows as Jensen leaned back in his chair, massaging his now full stomach. "The guy is a dick." He spat venomously.

"Yes, but there's gonna be no trouble." Cougar turned to him, tipping his hat up slightly so he could see him.

"I'm a lover, not a fighter, Cougs." Jensen grinned and Cougar gave a snort, shaking his head.

They finished breakfast and after several more coffees were eventually ushered out of the restaurant by a very harassed looking waiter. As they wandered back through the hotel lobby, Clay stopped and waved, causing Jensen to turn and look, a smile spreading across his face as he saw Stella walking through the door pulling her suitcase. He frowned at the fact asshole wasn’t carrying it for her, but as Stella approached them he realised that Evan was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s agent Shit-Name?” He blurted out by way of greeting, and Stella responded with a filthy glare, otherwise ignoring him completely. She turned instead to greet Roque and Cougar before she gave Clay a huge hug.

“Good flight, Arty?” Roque asked and she smiled at him, popping a shoulder.

“As good as it gets. But they didn’t have tomato juice. Would you believe it?”

Clay gave a huge laugh. “Since when have you drunk that stuff?”

“It’s not that bad, plus if you drink alcohol on a plane you get severe dehydration.” She replied.

“You’re making that up.” Jake looked at her and she turned her attention to him, giving him an appraising look.

“I read it in Science.” She quipped back. Jake blinked, before he burst out laughing and she grinned and shook her head. “I’m just joking. I had several gin and tonics and glass of wine. I’m good.”

Roque looked at Clay. “What just happened?”

“They do this.” Clay answered. “Have you not noticed yet?”

Roque rolled his eyes and then Cougar asked the question that all of them had been dying to know the answer to. “Where’s Evan?”

Well, all bar Jake that is as he couldn’t have cared less.

Stella shifted a little, rubbing her neck, Jake instantly spotting her discomfort. “He errr, he couldn’t make it.”

“He bailed on you?” Roque frowned at the same time Clay blurted out.

“What do you mean he couldn’t make it?”

Stella licked her lips and at that point Jensen jumped in. He could see her flustered and despite his dislike of her boyfriend, he hated seeing her like that so he offered her a way out. “Work?”

She nodded, shooting him a thankful look. “Yeah, something came up.”

“Of course it came up.” Clay grumbled loudly. Whether he had meant for Stella to hear or not, hear she did. And what was more, it was apparent he didn’t believe Evan’s excuse any more than she did. Stella swallowed, she had always trusted Clay’s judgement and it was unnerving a little to realise exactly what he thought.

She took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go check in.” As she reached for her bag, a hand softly batted hers away as Jensen grabbed the handle.

“I got it.”

As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, Cougar turned to Clay as Roque shook his head

“Bastard.” Clay spat. “He’s not come and left her to pick up the flack and explain to Pooch.”

Cougs mumbled a swear word in Spanish as Clay’s eyes flicked to Stella and Jake before he pulled out his phone.

“’m gonna make some calls. Meet you at the pool bar in a while.”

*****

As they stood in the queue for the reception desk, a bunch of people all having descended to check in at once, Jake turned to Stella and took a deep breath. “Wanna tell me what’s really going on?”

“Nothing is going on, Jake.” Stella’s tone was level but firm, an indication she didn’t want to discuss the topic.

But Jensen never had been one to take heed of warnings. “I don’t believe you.”

“Well, you should.” She turned to face him, raising her brow a little. “Tell me, any Mexican chick fallen at your feet yet?”

He sighed, throwing his head back and giving a low groan. “C’mon, Stel, I thought we were past this?”

“Past what?” Her tone was innocent but Jake could tell she didn’t dare look him in the eye. Instead, she concentrated on searching for something in her purse.

“Holding out on one another.” He answered, looking at her. “You’re still my best friend.”

“Well, forgive me if I sometimes forget.” She rolled her eyes as she produced her credit card.

“Okay okay, you don’t wanna tell me then fine.” Jensen rubbed at his eye before pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Whatever.”

Stella looked at him before she gave a little sigh, and hung her head slightly. “Ev’s busy, okay? Something last minute came up and he...”

“Let me guess.” Jake rolled his eyes. “He asked you not to come without him and when you told him to fuck off you had an argument.”

“No, actually.” Stella fixed him with a glare, narrowing her eyes “He told me to come. It’s nothing like that at all.”

“Stel...”

“Jake, just drop it okay!” Her voice grew louder. “You couldn’t be further away from the truth if you tried.”

Jensen raised his hands in surrender, knowing it was time to drop the subject. “All right, all right. I really don’t wanna know.”

Before she could shoot back a response, she was called forward to the desk. Jake moved off to the side with her bag, watching her as she spoke to the guy behind the counter.

His hands dropped to his slim hips as he studied her, wracking his brains. Despite her protestations there was obviously something more going on, he knew her too well. The only thing he could think of was that for some reason they’d had an argument, a big enough one for Agent Shit-Name to leave her to come on her own. And, considering Jake knew he had told Stella to stay away from him, it must have been pretty serious for him to say he wasn’t coming.

As Jake watched Stella signing her name on the paper the guy behind the desk slid over to her, he saw her give a little smile before she tucked her hair behind her ear. He took a deep breath, shaking himself out of his thoughts and decided that he was going to make her forget about Asshole for a couple of days and enjoy herself. Being the Stel he’d always known and adored.

She nodded and said something to the receptionist before she turned towards Jake, heading over to him and he smiled. “All sorted?”

“Yeah I’m on the 4th floor

“Hey, cool! Same as me and Cougs.”

“Are you guys sharing?” She asked and he shook his head, giving a snort.

“Hell no. The Cougar is on the prowl, apparently. He’s a couple of rooms down.”

“Well I’m in 415.”

“422, Sweetheart.”

“Good to know in case I’m attacked by a spider in the middle of the night.” She grinned and Jake chuckled.

“Well, if you want I’ll do a sweep before you go in.” He looked at her seriously. “I am a highly trained killing machine after all.”

“So am I.”

“Yeah but I ain’t afraid of spiders... well, okay, not the little ones that is.”

Stella laughed. “Course not. But, that aside, I could use your help with my suitcase.”

“You don’t need to ask.” He said gently, picking it up. “I was already gonna bring it.”

She smiled and they made their way to the elevator which by some twist of luck was already on their floor. The door opens and they stepped inside, Stella turning to select their floor.

“Alright, I gotta ask.” Jake spoke and Stella turned to him as he gestured to the large case now by his feet. “You’re here for what, three nights? You bring your whole wardrobe, Stelly?”

She scoffed “I need all three nights’ outfits and daytime clothes as well. Toiletries, make up, underwear...bikinis.” At the last word she shot him a wink and Jake’s head dropped forward, his hands on his hips.

“Stop it.” He groaned playfully and she laughed.

“You don’t wanna hit the pool then, Jakey?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“Why would it be?”

“Well this feels like the part where I’m supposed to make some rude comment only I’m not sure if you’ll laugh or slap me.”

“You’d never know if you don’t say it.”

Jake looked at her, he was utterly confused now and hadn’t got a clue what was going on. He licked his lips, swallowed before he sighed and rubbed his beard. Thankfully, he was saved from responding at all as the elevator stopped, the doors sliding open as they’d reached their floor.

****

Once the slightly awkward but friendly first time introductions to the rest of the guests that the boys had met the day before, Stell felt herself really beginning to relax. She had been on edge since arriving if truth be told, not least because her friends had hit the nail on the head, there was something going on with Evan. But, she didn't want to think about it. Not now. Instead, she settled herself on a sun-lounger, peeling off her little sun-dress to reveal a yellow bikini and Jake flopped onto the one besides her, whipping off his white wife-beater. They talked and laughed and joked. It felt good, just kicking back, not a care in the world. Soft, holiday themed music was playing, the atmosphere was happy, and Stella had a constant supply of cocktails thanks to the team persistently plying her with them.

She must have fallen asleep at one point, as when she turned Jake wasn't there, but it didn't take her long to find him, his distinctive laugh ringing out over the pool area. Stella led back in the sun, glasses covering her face, no one able to see her eyes as she watched him sat on the edge of the pool, one of the bridesmaids next to him, their legs dangling in the water. His broad shoulders and back muscles twitched as he talked with his hands, as usual, emphasising whatever it was he was saying, one large arm reaching up to brush through his short hair. The girl laughed and tipped her head back and Jake grinned before he said something else and stood up. Stella shifted a little as he headed towards her.

"Stel, you want another drink?"

She pulled her glasses down, and peered over them as she smiled up at him. "No, I'm fine JJ thanks."

"Cool, just, you know, ask me if you need anything."

"I’ll be fine Jake." She insisted. "Just enjoy yourself or... whatever."

He gave her a little smile before he turned and walked away. Stella watched him go, and it didn't escape her just how many heads turned in his direction. She took a deep breath then suddenly a shadow blocked her sun. She looked up to see Cougar stood beside her, hands on his hips, bright blue swim shorts and a plain grey tank covering his toned upper body.

"Enjoying the views, Arty?"

She rolled her eyes, then smirked at him as she spotted his ever present headwear. "Even round the pool you’re wearing the hat?" She sat up slightly, nodding towards it.

"Well it keeps the top of my head cool and shelters my eyes from the sun." He shrugged. "And helps maintain my youthful complexion."

"You gonna be wearing it for the wedding?" She grinned as he perched on the lounger next to her, before he led back over the top of Jake's towel, swinging his legs up to recline a little.

"Of course I am." He looked at her like she'd asked a dumbass question. "I’m making a fashion statement, Honey!"

At that she laughed. "Well, I look forward to seeing that!"

"I'll save you a front row seat!"

As the two of them continued to chat, over at a table a little further round the pool, Roque and Clay were sat deep in conversation. Pooch made his way over, flopping down heavily into a seat, shades covering his eyes.

“All right, so someone wanna tell me what happened to Shit-Name?” There was no disguising the bitterness in his tone. He was still pissed over the whole stag-do incident as Stella hadn’t gone, and the blame for that lay firmly at Evan’s feet.  “Not that I care, in fact I’m glad not having to see him around but-“ he nodded to Stella “-well I don’t like her being upset.”

Clay took a deep breath and blew it out harshly. “So, I made some calls. Pulled some strings and…”

“What?” Roque took a pull from his beer and turned towards the Colonel. Clay simply shook his head and Roque rolled his eyes. “Spit it out, Clay.”

“The guy is not on duty this whole week.” Clay looked at him, and then to Pooch who pulled a face.

“The whole week? I thought she was flying in today because he had some work to finish before taking a couple of days off?”

“So did I.” Clay shrugged.

“So what? He’s been lying to stop her coming for more than absolutely necessary?” Roque frowned. “That is fucked up, Clay.”

“I don’t get it though.” Pooch shook his head, a puzzled expression on his face. “Why is he not here? If he’s so hell bent on keeping her away from us, well, specifically Jensen, why the fuck has he let her come on her own?”

“I don’t know.” Clay looked over at Stella before turning back. “But I don’t like it.”

“Don’t like what?”

The three of them turned to see Jensen stood by their table, pushing his shades up his nose a little.

“Your swimming trunks.” Roque was quick to quip. “Pink? Really?”

Jensen grinned “Gracie got me these! Special present for being her coolest Uncle.”

“Yeah, you see she’s six, Jensen.” Clay grinned, taking a drink of his beer. “Her taste is debatable.”

At that Pooch snorted. “And besides, man, you’re her only Uncle! Not like she has anyone else to compare you to.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen shot Pooch a look. “Fine, watch this.” He cleared his throat and looked over the pool area towards Stella. “Yo, Stel!” She glanced at him from where she was sat with Cougar and gestured with her head for him to continue speaking. “What you think of my shorts?” He gave a grin, twirling on the spot with his hands out to his side.

Stella arched a brow as she pulled down her glasses and looked over the top of them at him. “I’ve seen you in worse.” She called before she turned back to Cougar, a slight smile on her face.

Jake grinned and looked back at the men round the table, pointing in her direction. “See, that’s a compliment.”

“Yeah, by worse she means naked.” Pooch snorted. Roque and Clay both burst out laughing and the three of them clinked their beer bottles together.  

“You can all laugh but let’s face it, none of you could pull off this colour.” Jake sniffed.

“Who says you’re pulling it off, Jensen?” Clay arched his eyebrow.

“Well, he’s gonna need to as no one else is gonna pull em off for him.” Roque sniggered.

“Well, actually, Jolene’s cousins have already asked if he was free.” Pooch raised an eyebrow.

“They blind?” Roque shot back as Jensen grinned, ignoring him.

“Really? Which ones?”

“You were sitting with one of them earlier.” Pooch informed him.

“Oh, the red headed chick?” Jensen glanced around, and his eyes once more fell on Stella who was now sat up, turned towards Cougar as they talked about something. He took a deep breath. “Yeah, she’s not really my type. In a bit fellas.” With that he slapped Pooch on the head and wandered over to join Cougar and Stella.

“We cannot tell him about Evan.” Roque stated as Jensen sat down on the sun lounger next to Stella, leaning back a little on his hands.

“Nope." Clay agreed.

“Absolutely not.” Pooch affirmed with a serious nod.

*****

Stella was in her room’s bathroom, leaning over the counter to check her mascara hadn’t left any unwelcome blotch around her eyelashes when there was a loud knock on the door followed by the two softer ones that, ever since they met all those years ago, announced Jake Jensen’s presence. She gave a last glance at her appearance on the mirror, adjusting the thin straps of her pale pink dress to her shoulders, before she went to open the door for him.

“Damn, Stel. You look amazing.”

It was all Jake could express when he recovered from the shock of seeing Stella all dolled up for the first time since what seemed like forever. Maybe the last time being when Jane and Rob got married and they were still together and waiting for their military training to be over. She looked stunning in that outfit and he couldn’t fail but to observe it was Stelly all over. Her pale pink dress was covered in delicate lace flowers and flowed down her curves, the deep v neckline doing nothing but highlighting her gorgeous breasts which Jake so damned well knew and had cherished once upon a time.

Fuck, his mouth was dry…

“Thanks JJ.” Stella chimed, making Jake blink and shake his head. “I need a quick minute…”

As she turned to go finish getting ready he followed her in, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, you’re not gonna say anything about my slacks and this fancy waistcoat I’m wearing.” He asked opening his arms for her to take in his appearance which she did when she turned, looking him up and down. She took in his dark blue plaid tweed waistcoat, matching trousers, along with his pale blue and white striped dress shirt and matching tie and she grinned.

“No jacket?”

“Fuck that shit, Stel its too hot out!” He snorted. “I’m gonna boil to death enough tomorrow in my suit.”

Stella laughed, looking him up and down again before she took a deep breath. “You could almost pass as a grown up, Jake.”

He pouted though he was slightly amused at the comment as it clearly meant her brain had also taken her to the last time they both had worn such elegant outfits, as they had been basically babies then.

“Rude, Stel. You used to like this look on me when we were.... ummm.... did you change your perfume?” Jake suddenly asked in an attempt to change topic after almost sliding dangerously down memory lane.

“No it’s the same it’s been for years.” Stella rolled her eyes at him and turned to rummage in her make up bag.

“Yes. Right….” Jensen replied somewhat awkwardly but relieved she was busy with something else. “So Cougs is coming down with us, he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” She said as she finished putting her lip-gloss on before grabbing her sandals and sitting on her bed. “So like, is there a huge group of us tonight then?”

Jake stood there, his brain having a hard registering Stella’s question, his hands on his trouser pockets as he bounced on the balls of his feet and blushed furiously because, from where he was stood,  as Stella was bent over doing her sandals up, he could see right down her dress and the line of her breasts. But when he finally did realise she’d spoken, he swallowed hard and tried to play it as cool as possible.

“I guess pretty much everyone invited who’s here already, it is a rehearsal dinner after all. Hey, did you know Clay’s chick is landing tomorrow morning?”

“Tomorrow morning? Stella frowned. “Cutting it a bit fine, isn’t it?” She asked standing up and readjusting her dress.

“Well, better late than never.” Jake muttered, more to himself than anything but Stella had clearly heard it as she was glaring at him.

“Don’t start.”

“Sorry, my bad.” Jensen raised the palms of his hands in surrender. But before he could continue apologizing there was another knock on the door. “That will be Cougs.” Jake took a hasty retreat as he went to open the door to Cougar who raised an eyebrow on seeing his friend’s flustered expression.

“Don’t look at me like that, Cougar.”

“What the fuck’s wrong with you, Jensen?” Cougar whispered but then his eyes landed on Stella who was coming towards them and looked at Jensen again as he mouthed. “Wow.”

On an impulse Jake dug him in the ribs with his elbow which made Cougar shove him hard on the shoulder in turn just before Stella stopped by their side and looked at them. “What the fuck are you two doing?”

“Playing tag.” Jensen blurted out.

Stella narrowed her eyes at him just as Cougar looked at him wondering what the fuck Jensen was dragging him into. Jensen gave him a look and Cougar rolled his eyes.

“I told him he’s buying the first round tonight and the jerk said he wouldn’t.” He turned to Stella, trying not to sound too eager or false.

Stella shrugged. “What else is new?”

“Hey, I’m not paying ‘cause it’s a free bar. All the rounds are on Pooch and future Mrs Pooch.” Jensen nodded lightly at Coug, rolling with it.

Stella grinned as they step out of the room and she shut the door. “Well boys, ” she linked her arms into theirs as they were at either side of her, “in that case let’s see how drunk we can go get for free.”

Jakey and Cougar both cheered loudly at the idea and she laughed heartily.

“And you’re walking into the party escorted by two of the most eligible bachelors in this resort, Sweetheart.” Jensen added cheekily.

“Yeah?” She asked as she called the lift and Jensen saw her eyes shine with mischief before speaking again. “You taking me to meet them? Are they downstairs?”

Cougar snorted but Jake wasn’t gonna let it die there. That was the playful Stella he so adored, his Stelly. They could go on at this type of banter for hours if they were in the mood.

“Face facts, I am desirable as Pooch told me before. Bridesmaids already asking for my number. How many asked for your number, Cougs?”

Cougar just smirked and tip the brim of his hat. “They only need my room number, you loser.”

At that Stella let out a huge laugh and the elevator arrived so she stepped in followed by Cougar, Jake behind them.

“Okay, yeah. I’ll give you that one.” Jensen admitted as the elevator doors closed and they headed down.

***

When they got to the big room where the rehearsal party was taking place, the bride and groom were already there greeting all their guests and Stella was immediately introduced to everyone in Jolene’s extended family who hadn’t been at the pool earlier that day. The drinks and conversations were flowing when the wedding planner, a woman with a thick Mexican accent, announced dinner was being served in a few minutes and politely asked them all to find their seats.

The Losers were set to share a table with Pooch’s brother and his girlfriend and a couple of Jolene’s bridesmaids who happened to be her cousins too. The food was delicious and by the time dessert had been served, Stel could swear her dress had shrunk in size but she was damned if she was going to say no to those sinful Tamales. The chocolate on her taste buds, together with all the tequila and cocktails they had consumed during the meal had her in good spirits. She could honestly say she was having a great time and was enjoying herself, only one thing casting a shadow over her jolly mood.

Jolene’s cousin Shanice, secretly renamed by Stella as Corpse Bridesmaid, who was sitting at Jake’s other side, insisted on flirting shamelessly with him, to the point it was embarrassing. So, when her piercing laughter at some of Jake’s shitty quips got everyone at their table startled, Stella shared a glance with Cougar who was sat at her other side and excused herself. Instead of going to the ladies restroom, she went outside, deciding some fresh air would do her good. She wandered out onto the beach a little and sat down breathing in deeply,  taking in the peacefulness of the sea in front of her.

Her head was swimming but not just from alcohol. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but it was jealousy. She was jealous of Jake and Corpse Bridesmaid when she wasn’t supposed to be. Right? She wasn’t supposed to be and she didn’t like the feeling either.

And then there was Evan. She knew he was lying about having to work. He’d just used that as an excuse not to come to cover up the real core of the issue. Although he still insisted he was stuck at the office she knew he didn’t have to be there, and that evening, when they had talked on the phone, he had been cold and curt, their conversation mainly made of void questions and monosyllabic answers. Stella breathed in shakily at the memory of that conversation and pulled her phone out for the umpteenth time that night. No messages, no missed calls. Nothing. She sighed and chucked it back on her purse hastily.

“A watched phone never rings, Arty”

She hadn’t heard him approach, absorbed as she was in her own thoughts, but she made no effort to turn around as Cougar was already sitting on the sand next to her.

“Any luck with the blonde bridesmaid, Cougs?” She asked with a soft smile. “Maybe she’s the type that calls.”

“I told you before, I don’t need her to call, just knock.” He joked before turning his head to look at her, studying her features. “What’s going on Arty?”

“Nothing Cougs, just getting a little lightheaded in there.” Stella explained as she nodded her head towards the muffled voices of the party inside.

Cougar nodded. “And I’m assuming it’s not only because of the drinks.”

Stella didn’t reply, she simply looked away not trusting herself to say anything without her voice breaking.

“You know I won’t tell anyone, right? Especially not Jensen.”

Stella sighed and lowered her head as her hands fiddled with the flowers of her dress.  “I don’t believe Ev is working. I think he was making excuses not to come.” She finally spoke, before lifting her eyes to meet Cougar’s.

“And why would he be making excuses not to come with you?” Cougar frowned. “I thought he always wanted to spend time with you. That’s why you haven’t been hanging out with us so much anymore, huh?”

Stella raised her eyebrows. “He does. We kinda had an argument about it, well, not really an argument just a discussion about him crowding me and stuff, how he acts about Jake and you guys... and he admitted he was a little full on but said it was because he loved me.”

“Oh, so he threw the big L word there. That’s good, right?” Cougar asked, looking at her confused and a bit concerned as she had looked somehow embarrassed to admit Evan had said he loved her.

Stella looked at him. “Not really Cougs, because when he said it I was paralyzed and then realized I couldn’t say it back.”

“Oh.” He grimaced. “That’s not so good.” He paused for a moment before he continued. “You don’t love him?”

Stella shrugged, feeling calmer now, almost relieved she had finally got it off her chest and shared it with someone. “I thought I was sorta getting there you know, told myself it would happen in time but we’re almost six months in now. And each week I can’t see beyond the next, there’s no long term view there for me, Cougs and…”

“That’s a hard no disguised as a not yet, Arty.” He observed when he noticed Stella was trailing off. And she didn’t reply but looked at the sand instead as there wasn’t really a suitable response to that, least of all because he was right, she knew that much.

“Come here.” Cougar sighed, waving his hand for her to get closer before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “What you gonna do about it?”

“Finish it I suppose. That’s the right thing to do isn’t it?” She answered as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess it’s certainly the most sensible thing to do, anyway.”

“Well I’m a very sensible person.” Stella chuckled causing Cougar to snort.

“You spent years dating Jensen, I beg to differ.”

“Not my most sensible time.” She quipped.

Cougar laughed, shaking his head in agreement, and when he looked down to watch her he saw she was looking at the sand again, only this time she was smiling as she was clearly remembering something about the time he spent with Jake.

“He still loves you, you know? Jensen I mean.”

Stella’s eyes darted up at him and she scoffed. “You’re insane, Coug? You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Oh I know exactly what I’m saying. And more so you know it’s true.” Cougar stated as he tipped the brim of his hat and winked at her.

****

“Fuck, no, no more!” Jensen waved his hand as Roque grinned widely and held his hands up cheering loudly as Jensen grimaced. Both men had spent the last thirty five minutes doing shots while being cheered, as could not be otherwise, by Corpse Bridesmaid.

“All right, all right, you win Roque. I’m out.” Jensen admitted defeat as he turned around, scanning the dance floor. He frowned when he realized he couldn’t spot Stella, granted he was a bit drunk but he really couldn’t see her anywhere in the room. So he stood up from his seat and blinked twice as everything was a little hazy.

“Hey Clay, you seen Stel?” He asked when he finally steadied himself, brushing his hand through his hair before he pushed his glasses back up his nose. They’d gotten a little too close to falling off whilst he’d been doing those damned shots.

“Nope, it’s been a while since I last saw her.” Clay replied, glancing up at him from where he was sat on his spot at their table talking to Pooch’s brother.

“She went outside a while back. Didn’t say goodbye so I assumed she was coming back but…” Jolene, who had come searching for her cousin, offered but then someone Jensen couldn’t quite place tapped her shoulder so she turned round to talk to them and they left together a few seconds later, leaving him a little puzzled, without answers.

“Okay, I’ll go find her myself. You guys are useless.” He sniffed as he loosened his tie and turned to leave.

Clay rolled his eyes and looked at Roque who shook his head and snorted. “Whatever Jensen, just keep an eye on that tie. Too loose and you’ll lose it.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Jensen.” Clay warned him, earning a frown from Pooch’s brother and causing Jensen to stop in his tracks.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” He asked, turning to look at Clay.

“It means you’ve drunk a lot with Roque and she’s got a boyfriend who is clearly making her upset.”

“I’m fine I…” Jensen began to protest but he immediately paused as Clay’s words registered. “Hang on, what do you mean Shit-Name is making her upset?” He frowned as Clay groaned, realizing he had said too much “Do you know something?”

“Well he’s not here, isn’t he? That should be enough.” Clay tried to brush it off.

Jensen looked at him for a moment before he turned and left the room, contemplating what Clay had just said. Despite the colonel’s attempt to brush it off as an innocent comment, he had once more raised the point that Shit-Name wasn’t here, and none of them really knew why. There was also the fact that Stella had been uncharacteristically flirty with Jake that day, more than their usual good natured quips…was it possible they had split up? But, if they had, surely she would have told him right? But then again, maybe she wouldn’t have told him, not wanting to cloud Pooch’s big weekend with her issues?

The thought was enough to make Jake grin, but the grin disappeared as fast as it had come and he couldn’t help but groan at this train of thought. Nothing would make him happier than that dick to be gone for good but he also didn’t want Stella to be upset and heartbroken. That was part of the reason that, despite his vow on New Years’ Eve to Clay in his parent’s dining room about fighting for her, he’d really tried to behave. He’d watched as her and Evan had gone from, what appeared to be, strength to strength, and, if he had to be honest, he was just grateful they were on good terms and wouldn’t want to jinx his recently fixed friendship with his Stelly for all the gold in the world. Plus, he just wanted her to be happy, she deserved that at least.  And, until now, he thought that Agent Shit-Name was making her so…

All those noisy thoughts were clouding his alcohol intoxicated head when he finally made it outside after a quick stop at the restroom. As soon as Jensen’s feet landed on the soft beach sand, he spotted Stella in the distance but she wasn’t alone as Cougar was sitting next to her on the sand with his arm round her.

“What the fuck, Cougs?” He whispered to himself, his jaw twitching a little. “Seriously, you’re going there?”

Both figures wheeled round and looked at him as he drew closer, his constant groans about tripping over on the sand alerting them to his presence. And when they did turn, Jake could see Stella had been crying.

“Stel, what’s going on?” He asked her softly.

Stella hastily wiped her tears and sniffed before speaking. “Nothing, I’m fine. It’s just….” She trailed off as she looked at Cougar with pleading eyes.

“I was telling her stories of my childhood here in Mexico.”  Cougar looked at Jake.

“Yeah…” Stella nodded eagerly. “… and it just got me thinking a bit of dad and stuff.”

Jensen glared at Cougar as he squatted beside them both, not for a minute believing the bullshit he had come up with, but then Cougar shot him a look and shook his head gently. Jensen’s frown deepened a little, before he looked at Stella who was now watching the ocean again. He knew she was lying, she had been lying about Evan and about them being fine since she had landed in Mexico that morning, but he also knew now, from Cougs, it wasn’t what his tequila mushed brain had thought some minutes earlier.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed all that to the back of his mind and fixed a smile on his face.

“Well, Stelly, I think the only thing to do here is come dance your sorrows away.” He tried to lighten the mood up a bit as he knew his Stelly had always loved dancing.

She looked at him like he was a moron before she burst out laughing and he shot her a cheeky grin.

“Yasss, come on, Sweetheart.” He pressed as he stood up, helping her up in the process and once they both were standing on their feet Jensen turned around and bent a little. “Jump up! We’re going dancing.”

“You’re not carrying me, moron!” She shook her head as he turned to look at her. “And it’s just one. I had an early morning and I need some rest.” She bent slightly, brushing the sand off her dress, giving Jensen another front row view of her cleavage line and without even looking at him, he nudged Cougar to stop him staring, sending the man sprawling over onto the sand, a string of Mexican expletives escaping his mouth.

“That’s my Stelly.” Jake grinned and she took his hand as she put her sandals back on before Jensen dipped and slung her over his shoulder.

“JJ put me down you ass!” Stella squealed.

“No can do Stel, don’t trust you not to run.” He said amidst laughter.

“Don’t mind me…” Cougar quipped as he remained sprawled on the sand.

“We won’t.” Jensen shot back as he strode up the beach to the bar with Stella over his shoulder, laughing as she slapped his back.

“Jake my boobs are gonna fall out of my dress!” She shouted, slapping his back harder once they were almost reaching the sliding doors that led to the room where the party after the dinner was now in full swing.

“I see no issue with that.”

“God, you’re a dick!” Stella scoffed and Jensen chuckled, eventually putting her down on the bar and looking at her chest. “Hey, my face is up here.”

“I was just… erm…” Jensen gave a goofy smile as he made a grabbing hand gesture in front of her boobs “…checking the twins are still in place and you’re good.”

Stella rolled her eyes at him as she rearranged her dress. “Pervert.”

All in all, and as Jensen had expected, Stella stayed for a little more than one song as she was letting herself go and forget everything. The pair of them just enjoyed themselves, and it was almost as if no time at all had passed, and they were still at some sort of crummy, homecoming or end of year dance at their school’s over decorated sports hall.

Just as they were winding down a rather energetic dance to some form of Nineties dance song, the name of which, Jensen had no idea, Pooch cut the music and stepped up to thank everyone for coming, before he started talking rather drunken and lovingly about Jolene. As Roque and Clay began to heckle, telling him to save the mushy ‘I love yous’ for tomorrow, Stella zoned out a little, thinking about what Cougar had said earlier at the beach. If she was honest, whilst she’d been able to push it away for large chunks of time as she’d been dancing, it had been in the back of her mind all night. Because Cougar had hit the nail on the head, she didn’t love Evan, she didn’t think she ever would, and she couldn’t keep fooling herself. She needed to finish it.

Almost as if he had read her mind, she felt Jake gently take her hand and give it a squeeze and that was it. It all became too much to handle again, and she turned to him giving him a shy smile.

“I’m gonna go Jake, I really am tired.”

Just as she had anticipated, he tried to get her to stay but she refused, declining his offer to walk her back up to her room. She kissed his cheek softly, gave him a smile, and headed off to say goodnight to everyone.

***** Jensen watched her go before dropping his head in defeat. He took a deep sigh, hands on his hips, before Cougar appeared at his side, thrusting a beer he hadn’t even asked for into his hand.

“Thanks.” Jensen whispered, taking a large swig as he studied Cougar. “So what really happened at the beach?”

Cougar hesitated, looking for the best way to give his friend a comforting answer without betraying Stella’s confidence, and it was proving a really difficult task. “She… umm, she told me Evan had said he loved her.” He answered a second or two later, hesitantly.

“What?” Jensen asked, swallowing hard. His beer suddenly felt a bit sandy.

“She didn’t say much more but I’ll let you draw your own conclusions how the whole thing went from how she’s been and the fact he isn’t here.” Cougar shrugged.

Jensen glared at him before taking another sip of his drink. He couldn’t think clearly, it wasn’t time for mind riddles and someone had definitely added that fucking sticky beach sand to his beer, plus, now he was pissed and his mind started spiralling.

Fucking Shit-Name dropping the fucking L word!

But then again, how could he not love her? It was impossible once you knew Stella, and he should know, he had tried it.

And what the fuck? Why hadn’t she told him when he had asked, instead of avoiding the topic all day long and then telling Cougar instead?

And yeah, Cougar could fuck off as well. With a final glare at him, he thrust his beer bottle back into Cougar’s hand and left without as much as a goodbye word.

What might seem common, rational sense to everyone else was never that common or sensible in Jake Jensen’s fucked up mind, least of all when it came down to Stella Stevenson. So, as he headed back to his room and passed hers on his way he stopped and turned back, making her way to her door. He stepped forward, ready to knock, but he dropped his knuckle when it was still mid-air and with a shake of his head and a heavy sigh he carried on.

And now he was also pissed at himself. Great.

******

Chapter 7 Part 2

[cuddlepilefics]

Do you even lift?

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Changbin

Caregiver: Chan

 No one's POV.:

Changbin had come under quite a bit of fire lately. He had successfully gained weight and loved how cute his squishy cheeks looked. Sadly, they came at a cost, resulting in the rapper being criticized for his belly fat. Would he cut down on food, he'd lose his cute cheeks again, so that left only one solution: more exercise to reveal his abs and hopefully still keep his cheeks. That's easier said than done though, because his schedule was already tightly packed. The only times he managed to go to the gym were after his official schedule late into the night. Changbin wasn't one to complain, so he'd take what he could get even if that meant salvaging all the discipline he could find and forcing himself to push past his exhaustion to trade sleep for exercise. The calculation was easy for him: ‘If I leave the studio at 2am, I’ll make it to the gym at around 2:30am. Exercise for 90minutes and leave the gym around 4am. Walk home and have a shower, then I could be in bed around 5am and get up to 3 hours of sleep before we have to get up again.’

He had been following this routine for the past three weeks and he was beginning to see the first changes. Mostly in his arms though, not in his abs but he was building muscles, so his abs would probably grow too, just a bit slower than his arms. The other members noticed it too and Changbin received many compliments for the size of his biceps. On the down side, he constantly felt sore and could barely remember what life was like without feeling his muscles burn with every movement. His appetite had also changed. It was so much bigger than before, which only made sense with how much he was asking from his body. Although he had deliberately decided not to diet, he also wouldn’t increase his food intake just because he felt hungry all the time. What Changbin failed to understand was that his body was desperately begging for energy, either from sleep or from some extra calories. Since the rapper gave his body neither, it was only a matter of time till he had to feel his body’s wrath. He kept spacing out, which was probably worsened by low blood-sugar levels because he decided to consume less carbohydrates and eat healthy fats instead. One day, he almost fell asleep during one of 3racha’s production sessions. Both Chan and Jisung had mocked him for it but were mostly worried because their friend had started to come home even later than Chan. They had laughed it off together and Changbin had been forced to skip his workout that day, being dragged home to get some sleep instead. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t exercise twice as hard the next day though to make up for the missed workout.

Dance practices have developed a kind of love-hate relationship with Changbin. He loved them because they were also a form of exercise but he hated them because with how slow his brain had become from how run down he was, he was always a few beats behind on the choreography. If it seemed like it was frustrating for the dance-racha that was doing their best to teach them the new dance routines, it was so much more frustrating for Changbin. He was pushing himself incredibly hard to erase something that he was criticized for, only to mess up and be criticized for something else. Over the last week, he had noticed that he could go over the choreography about five times before getting dizzy and messing the steps up even more, so he tried to use the first few rounds to show his members that he wasn’t doing that bad, going all out and using up his remaining energy. In the breaks, Felix often sat with him, massaging his neck and shoulders. The Aussie could see how tense the other’s posture was and tried to give him as much relief as possible. Changbin appreciated it, although at that point there was nothing that Felix could do to make him hurt less. It was comforting and it at least took away the stress for a few minutes and helped him relax mentally, even though his muscles couldn’t really relax anymore.

“Guys, since our schedule ends early today and Channie-hyung said there wouldn’t be a 3racha meeting today, can we maybe go out for dinner tonight? It’d even be my treat”, Minho offered. The group had barely had the time to relax or have fun together. Changbin scratched his neck awkwardly, admitting: “I was actually looking forward to visit the gym early today.” – “It’s fine, you guys can go. I’ll go with Changbin because it had been ages since I had the time to exercise apart from our dance practices”, Chan announced. Yes, he had barely been working out lately for the lack of time but his main intention was to keep an eye on his dongsaeng. The leader was afraid the younger was overworking himself. Their plan was soon settled, though a few youngers, especially Felix, tried to talk Changbin out of going to the gym but his insecurities and body image made it impossible for the rapper to skip. His head was already hurting before they left for the gym but if he thought about it, it had been hurting for the last two days already. A good night’s rest would probably fix it, so Changbin was glad he’d be home a bit earlier tonight. It’s not like he had the intention to harm himself with his excessive exercising but he failed to listen to his body telling him to stop.

On the way to the gym, Chan had asked many questions on his dongsaeng’s workout routine to figure out how hard the younger was actually pushing his limits. He was shocked when he finally grasped the extent and tried to give the rapper a few hints here and there, that he might want to think about this habit. Changbin either wasn’t getting the hint that his hyung was telling him to stop, which was possible considering how out of it he was, or he was unwilling to admit to himself, that he was slowly running his body into the ground. Chan soon gave up and realized the younger had to see for himself that what he was doing was hurting him. That didn’t mean the leader wasn’t prepared to be there and pick up the pieces when Changbin would reach his breaking point. For now, he tried to keep the mood light. They took a few pictures and compared the weights they’d be using for their individual routines, before putting in their earphones and getting started.

It all seemed to be going well. At least that was what it looked like to Chan. Changbin soon removed his earphones because he blamed the stereo-sound for the spinning in his head and his balance-issues. To his dismay, he had to accept that the change barely had an effect on his struggles. He was also shaking harder from the strain than he remembered himself shaking the previous day but what did he expect with the amount of sleep he was running on. Changbin finished up with his push-ups and stood up with the weights in his hands. Upon shifting his position upright, black spots started to dance in his vision but he was used to it. It had happened a few times over the course of the past week. He’d just drop down to one knee and wait till his vision cleared before getting up again. Changbin’s back was facing Chan, so the leader couldn’t see his discolored face, or the cold sweat that was dripping from his forehead, running down his temples. The rapper had been kneeling there for quite a while already, longer than he usually needed to, so Chan removed his earphones too and teased: “Do you even lift, mate?”

Changbin shook his head and turned his head towards Chan. He was mumbling something that resembled ‘h-hyung’, but Chan only saw his lips moving. The leader didn’t need to hear him though, the look on his face, combined with his skincolor, told Chan all he needed to know. Cursing silently, the oldest dropped his weights and rushed over to his friend. He wrapped his arms around Changbin from his back and gently pulled him backwards to sit down properly. Changbin defeatedly let go of his weights and leaned back against his hyung’s chest. “It’s okay. Just take deep breaths and the dizziness will go away”, Chan assured, holding the younger against his chest so he wouldn’t fall over. Taking a shaky breath in, Changbin failed and his breathing remained fast and shallow. One hand came up to clutch onto Chan’s arm, a desperate attempt to hold himself up, before it dropped back down, along with Changbin’s head that fell onto his chest as his body went slack.

For a second, Chan panicked before he collected himself, realizing he’d only be able to help the younger if he was able to keep a cool head. Carefully, the leader lowered Changbin to lie on the floor, feeling his pulse weak and fast. He got up and without his eyes ever leaving the younger, he collected his water bottle and a stack of lyric sheets. Chan sprinkled some of the water onto Changbin’s face before fanning him with the papers. To his relief, he soon heard the rapper groan and his eyes fluttered open. “Take it easy, you’re okay”, Chan promised, “Just blacked out for a second. I think we’re done exercising for today.” Changbin nodded and brought his hands up to massage his temples. Was his headache already that bad earlier? He wanted to keep up but his hyung held it down with a gentle hand on his chest, asking: “Please stay down a little longer, just until your face has taken on a healthier shade.” Changbin nodded again, too drained to respond verbally.

After resting for another two minutes, Changbin started to feel cold, his body not having the energy left to sustain his body temperature. Chan noticed the slight shiver and went to collect his hoodie. “Here, you can try to sit up and put this on”, the leader said with a comforting smile. He helped his dongsaeng to sit up and kept an arm around his shoulders to steady him. Changbin tiredly slipped the hoodie on, cursing his arms for burning as much as they did from the simple movement. Grabbing his towel, he dried his sweaty face. He also took a few sips of the water Chan offered him before clearing his throat and asking: “Hyung, can we go home?” The older was glad he didn’t have to argue about taking Changbin home and nodded. “Do you think you can walk or do you want a piggy back?”, he asked, studying the rapper. “Walk!” – “Alright, alright”, he laughed, pulling Changbin to his feet and wrapping one arm around his waist, while Changbin’s arm hung over his neck, “But can you give me a warning if you feel dizzy again?” – “Yeah – yeah, I think – I think I can do that”, Changbin mumbled, swaying a bit as Chan picked up both of their bags.

Their walk back to the dorm was slow and quiet and Chan was sure, the younger hadn’t fallen asleep walking. He felt a bit guilty for not stopping Changbin before it could get this bad but he also knew that if the rapper had set his mind on something, there was no stopping him. While Changbin went to their room to pick out his clothes, Chan ran him a bath. The leader was afraid his dongsaeng would slip and fall if he tried to take a shower. He let Changbin take his time and went to the kitchen to make them both some dinner. Chan had settled on making some rice with chicken to fill up their energy fast while also giving them a good amount of protein. Dishing the food onto plates, he made sure Changbin’s was heaping full. “Hey, hyung. Sorry about earlier”, Changbin apologized, walking into the kitchen with damp hair. Chan shook his head and sat him down at the table, so they could eat together, replying: “It’s alright but I hope you got your wakeup call to start listening to your body better.” Changbin nodded guiltily. “You should take the next few days to rest up because you have pushed your body way too hard. I know why you did and I’m not going to scold you because I understand your intentions but please take better care of yourself from now on”, the leader pleaded. Changbin bit his lip. It didn’t feel right to take even a day off, when it was entirely his own fault that he felt so bad. On the other hand, being able to sleep in and not having to drag his achy and wrecked body out of bed tomorrow sounded like heaven. In the end, they compromised on Changbin resting for one day and deciding afterwards if he needed another. What was sure though, was that Chan would keep a closer eye on him from now on to ensure he got the rest he needed.

[trillian-anders]

amor de mi vida - 1949

pairing: bucky barnes x latinx!reader

warnings: racism, prejudice, fluff, angst, smut

word count: 3362

description: Bucky Barnes is a sweet young Brooklyn boy, just on the cusp of manhood, a hopeless romantic that falls in love with almost every girl he sees. when he sets his eyes on a young girl fresh off the boat from Cuba he finds out how hard love can really be.

for @cake-writes 1940s challenge.

Sunset Park was ever growing with Hispanic population, in the years since you and your Mother came to New York the population had grown and people, while still not allowing certain people to mix, there was a little less of a stigma of someone brown walking down the street. Surprisingly enough the property you’d found was right across the street from the bodega where Bucky had first dragged you in trying to buy bread and the man refused you. It straddled the line of the Hispanic and white population in Brooklyn. 

It was the perfect spot. 

The upstairs level would be for sewing and crafting, the downstairs would house the shop and sales. Bucky and George painted the upstairs and downstairs, fit new light fixtures, and fixed the shoddy wiring that hadn’t been worked on, you were convinced, since electric light had been invented. 

“What do you think?” He asked, coveralls splattered with paint and sweat on his brow. You grin up at him, 

“I love it.” 

The women you’d been selling dresses to over the past few years now had somewhere to shop and you could sell more products standardly while offering tailoring services. A big, ‘EVERYONE WELCOME’ sign in the front window. Which means you had to hire more people. You stuck to hiring women, the women who wanted to work in your community.  

You figured things were going pretty well, until the first time you were vandalized. Broken glass and a clear message of not being welcome a month into opening. You couldn’t help but figure it might have something to do with the man across the street who seemed to remember your faces. 

He stood there now, arms crossed. Lips pressed so tight they almost disappeared from his face. You huff, trying not try cry as the girls help you sweep up the glass. You called Bucky, knowing he was home with the kids, from the back office. 

“The front window is shattered.” You couldn’t help but cry when you heard his voice. 

“Okay,” He sighed, you could hear Grant fussing in the background, “Let me call my Pa and I’ll see what we can do.” The police didn’t care, but George was the one who originally talked to the inspectors and bank having already started his own business before. 

He had someone out in an hour to fix the window and to install new, easier to pull down, grate for them. 

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, he’d finally got the kids to sleep. The excitement of Mama coming home and a quick dinner had been followed by a carefully orchestrated bath and bedtime routine. Now it was just the two of you, and the bottle of wine you’d opened. 

“We are very lucky,” You start, “In New York they haven’t banned us being together, they segregate, sure, but we have a good amount of people who believe in integration. We don’t have a lot of problems with prejudice so sometimes I forget.” His hand met the back of your neck, massaging. “It’s just a little bit of a wake-up call.” 

He shrugs, “I thought that now Jackie Robinson was playing for the Dodgers that people would be a little more accepting.” You glare at him and he laughs. “If we are being honest here...” Bucky sighs, taking a sip from his glass, “I worry about our kids.” He leans further into the couch, “I worry all the time about the day we have to send Jaime to school, I worry about them playing outside. I worry about things happening to you and the kids when I’m not here.” 

People respected Bucky Barnes. He was a war hero, right hand man to Captain America himself. You lost count of the amount of times you’d take the kids for a walk and be stopped. Women wanting his autograph and men wanting to thank him for his service to the country. There was a level of protection there. It was possible that it was keeping you and your children safe. Not out of the realm of thought. Especially when you were actually with him out. 

Without him was tight smiles and folks crossing the street to avoid you, like you were some kind of threat to them. 

You lay your legs on his lap, wordlessly asking him to rub your aching feet. You’d worked the floor all day, first cleaning up glass and then helping with customers and you did four fittings in the afternoon. He drains his glass and begins to rub your stocking clad feet. 

“How was the shop today besides the window?” Thumbs digging into the sole of your foot you moan, letting your head roll back against the armrest of the couch. 

“Good, we sold ten dresses.” He switched to a different foot, “I think Amara and Rosalyn are a little more than friends.” He pauses, looking at you. 

“Like?” You nod. 

“Huh.” He shrugs, “That makes a lot more sense.” The two women, your first employees, told you they moved in together to save money and were tired of living in the boarding house. With their savings they bought a cute little property not far from the store. They also adopted a few animals. 

“What did you think?” He shakes his head, 

“I just thought they were strange.” They always seemed so fidgety, like they were doing something suspicious when you weren’t in the room, but it would make sense of having the fear of getting caught. An interracial marriage some could be okay with, but a same-sex marriage? That was a whole different story. 

His fingers danced their way up your skirt, to your hose, removing the stay ups slowly, keeping eye contact, while massaging your foot with his other hand his fingers slipped under the hose and rolled the first one down your leg. Then the other. 

“I missed you today.” He whispered, kissing your ankle. “We all missed you today.” He tapped your leg, tugging gently on your thigh to get you to sit up, straddling his lap. His erection was already straining against his trousers. You ground yourself against him, meeting his lips. His hands held your hips, moving you against him enough to tease. “It’s so sexy,” He whispers, going for the button on his slacks, you lift up, shimmying your panties off and tossing them to the side. “You're going off to work,” A breathy kiss, you bury your fingers in his hair, tilting his head back as you press kisses down his jaw and onto his neck. “You’re so talented dahlin.” He groaned as you sunk down onto him, rocking your hips with his hands. “So fucking talented.” 

“Te quiero mucho.” Kisses wet and sloppy as you muffle your moans against his lips. His hand held the back of your neck, body slipping down to hover his hips off the couch, bringing your body close to his in order to thrust upward into you. Mouth pressed tightly to keep quiet while you came, fingers dipping between your thighs to strum your clit, riding out the pleasure while Bucky’s hips stuttered with release. 

“I love you too sweetheart.” Erection staying stiff inside you. He breathes and lets you collapse on top of him before sighing, “We forgot to use a rubber.” 

And just like that, pregnant again. 

You pretended to be hateful. “This is all your fault.” But Bucky just laughed. “You planned this.” Grant crawled over his shoulder, going to tumble down his back, letting Bucky catch him before he falls, laughing and doing it again. Dia and Jaime were playing with the new dollhouse she’d received for her birthday. A present that ‘Santa’ brought her, but was really bought from Macy’s and you didn’t even want to ask Winnie how much it cost. 

This pregnancy was a little rougher than the last three. You felt sick constantly and the ginger mints only did so much, aside from the fact that you started showing almost immediately. Your feet were swollen from working at the store and a rushed doctor visit was needed after you’d started spotting. 

“Bed rest.” Was what the doctor said, you’d huffed indignantly. The last three pregnancies you’d lived normally up until the day they were born and the doctor had the nerve to tell you that it was because you were older now. You weren’t even thirty yet. 

“Sweetheart,” Bucky tried to calm you down after you cursed the Doctor, “He’s an asshole, but if he’s recommending bed rest, you should probably rest.” So the keys to the shop were handed over to Amara and Rosalyn. 

“I hate this.” You grumbled, the kids were a mess today, and you felt very stressed. You couldn’t do anything right for Jaime, Dia seemed to want nothing to do with you, and Grant was throwing a tantrum over a soft breeze. “When are you coming home?” You could hear him pause on the other end, 

“About an hour left and I should be on my way.” The longest hour of your life. 

The sickness, the bleeding, the swollen feet. You’d been blessed with twins by the way your belly was measuring. “You did this.” And Bucky laughed. 

You sat in Peggy’s kitchen, snacking on a cheese plate she layed out for the two of you, grumbling about it. 

“He doesn’t know what it’s like.” Peggy, radiant as ever, nods in understanding, “In the seven years of our marriage I’ve been pregnant for four of them. The other three he was gone.” Every year you’d been together resulting in pregnancy. Jaime and Dia within months of each other. Grant a little while after that, and then a break in between him and now. “I love my kids,” You defend, “But you’ll understand when you have them.” You sigh, rubbing your belly, “It’s difficult.”

“I’m not sure Steve and I are ready quite yet.” She laughs, “Our work is dangerous,” She wasn’t joking. You knew their apprehensions, you felt them every time Bucky walked out the door. You weren’t sure if he was coming home or not, every time. “But I’m living vicariously through you in the meantime.” The playpen was set up in the living room, the three kids in view of you, playing quite loudly to the noise of the radio. The boys were out back, fixing loose shingles on the roof. 

“You can take one if you want,” You joke, arching your back trying to relieve some of the pain. Bucky stepped inside behind Steve, grabbing a drink from the fridge he lays a sweaty kiss on your cheek before going over to the chorus of Papa from their sitting room. Dia was the one who wanted his attention the most, her little feet climbing up on the gate and reaching her arms out to him while Grant and Jaime quickly lost interest as the noise from the radio changed. Bucky picked her up and brought her over to where you were sitting, handing her a piece of cheese to nibble on. 

“You trying to sell our kids?” He asked.

“I’m trying to give them away for free.” Another kiss to your head and a hand on your belly. 

“Baby.” Dia said. Pointing to your stomach. 

“That’s right mija,” You smiled, “You want to feel the baby?” She nods, chewing on a finger. Bucky sits her on your lap, your sweet girl’s hair was finally growing, the soft brown curls done back with a bow, she put her hands on your tummy.

“Big belly.” She whispers, tapping on your stomach. 

“There’s two babies in there mija.” She scrunches her nose, tapping on your belly again before reaching beside you for some more cheese. Bucky takes down the gate for the playpen, the other kids coming around to snack on cheese. Jaime whining to come up into your lap as well, Grant behind him. Peggy picks up Grant, settling him in her lap. Bucky taking Dia for you to let Jaime snuggle up into your lap. His body curled around your tummy, thumb in his mouth. 

“Who would have ever thought.” Steve mused, “I thought you were crazy for chasing her the way you did.” Bucky chasing you, ten years ago now. So young and naive. 

“I thank God every day that I did.” He grins at you and you could almost see the way he looked when he was seventeen, when he ran into you on the street and dragged you into a shop you knew you wouldn’t be allowed in. 

You smile back, “Me too.” When Bucky leans in for a kiss Jaime groans and pushes him away, pulling you to him and making you give him a kiss on his forehead instead. 

“Mama.” He whines, “I’m hungry.” You give Bucky a look.

“Alright mijo, let's get you something to eat.” 

Something was wrong next door. The only reason you knew that was because the house was quiet today. Bucky had taken the kids to his parent’s house so you could nap, so you heard the shouting clear as day. You slipped out of bed, and walked to the bedroom window, the window facing the side of Martha Green’s house. The shouting was loud, almost frightening. Your hand fumbled with the bedside phone, dialing quickly. 

“James,” You rest a hand on your belly, still looking out at the house, but their blinds were shut, “Something is happening next door, I think he’s hurting her.” There was a blood curdling scream you were sure he could hear, 

“Call Steve,” He said, “I’m on my way.” 

Steve didn’t answer, you placed the phone in the cradle and heard another scream. Waddling down the stairs, you knew it would take Bucky thirty minutes to get home. Another call to Steve, another unanswered call. 

You could hear glass break. And you called the police. But how far out were they? You could hear her screaming and crying. There was a gun by the front door that felt heavy in your hands, shaking and nerves you walked outside, to her house and up the stairs. You knocked on the front door, hard. 

There was a pause in noise, the gun heavy in your hand, hidden in the pocket of your house dress. The front door ripped open. You’d seen Martha’s husband a number of times and you believed Bucky when he said he didn’t think that he treated her very well. There was a wild look in his eyes and behind the small crack he opened you could see the shattered remains of what must have been their china cabinet. 

You swallow nervously, but quickly ask, “Is Martha here? I uh… I came to return this.” In a quick moment of clarity you’d grabbed the glass dish you’d left by the front door that you’d asked Bucky to take back to Winnie, you thanked God he was forgetful in that moment. His jaw was tight and he looked down at the casserole dish in your hand. 

His grip was rough on the dish, yanking it from your hand, “I’ll be sure to give it to her.” You see movement in the background, Martha. The two children hiccuping in tears as she ushered them in the closet under the stairs. You could see the bruises blooming on her face. “Is there anything else you need?” 

“I would just like to talk to her.” You found some firmness. 

“I’m sure she would not like to talk to you.” And you knew why. A spit at your feet. Your jaw clenched, your ears listened for sirens but you couldn’t hear any. It felt like it had been twenty minutes but you knew it had only been maybe five. 

“Martha!” You called behind him. His hand quickly shot out, grabbing your arm and yanking you into the house. 

“You nosy fucking bitch.” Your back met the hallway wall, fingers fumbling for your gun. You quickly pulled it and aimed it at his chest. He looked startled and backed away. 

“Martha.” You could see her out of the corner of your eyes, “Grab the kids and go to my house.” She was frozen in the doorway, the anger from her husband clear on his face. “Go!”

You were shaking, which was a mistake, he rushed you. You fired the gun but it missed, the bullet embedding itself in the wall above his shoulder. He quickly grabbed your arm and brought a fist down on your face. You fired the gun again, clipping him on his arm. Screaming as you fell, hands coming to protect your belly as you fell. The gun spun out from your grip. 

Martha’s husband, the big hulking man he is, stepped over you and grabbed the gun, pointing it in your face. You gasp, coming back onto your knees, eyes springing with tears. 

“You stupid fucking bitch.” He spits, pulling the hammer back. You’ve made a mistake. Your heart in your throat you grab your belly. 

“You’re a fucking coward.” It springs from your throat before you can help it. His upper lip curling, his finger tenses on the trigger. But before he could pull it you see a flash of metal, Bucky’s hand going to grab his wrist with the gun and in one instant, disarms him and the gun, flinging the piece of metal to the side he wraps his arm around Martha’s husband’s neck, bringing him to the ground. 

When he arrived home he found a bruised and beaten Martha sitting in his den, her two sobbing kids beside her. When she told him where you were, his heart dropped. He felt like he was going to be sick. He snuck through the back door and came into the hallway through their den. Stopping the man about to take his wife away from him. 

“What were you thinking?” He would yell later. Crying. Both of you. “I told you to call Steve.”

“I did.” You were blubbery, “He didn’t answer.” Bucky sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face before turning back to you and sighing heavily.

“Come here baby,” A tight hug to his chest, “I’m sorry. You were so brave, I’m sorry.” Hands rubbing up and down your back as you cried. “Please, never do that again.” You’d talked to the police, Bucky backing your story and telling them what he’d done. “You scared the shit out of me.” 

The next day Martha showed up on your doorstep, an apology pie in hand. “I just wanted to say thank you,” She was looking at her shoes. You stepped aside, inviting her in. Settled down at your kitchen table with a cup of coffee she continues, “I honestly thought he was going to kill me yesterday.” A rough swallow, “He almost killed you.” Her blue eyes meeting yours for the first time. “I’m sorry I was so jealous of seeing how your husband treated you.” Her lips swollen with bitten worry, “And I used race as an excuse to treat you poorly and for that I apologize.” Her hands shaking, you reach over to comfort her. 

“I forgive you,” a mutual cry between new friends. “Listen,” You scribble down your number on the pad by the phone. “If you need help you can always call, James’ work…”

“I know what he does.” She thumbs the paper. “He’s a good man.” You smile softly, 

“Yeah, he is.” You muse at the thought,

Ten long years have led to this. Five children and an ever passionate love between the two of you that, at first, you thought was a simple infatuation that would pass with time. But he loved you, he married you. He helped you create five beautiful children and you couldn’t help but love him endlessly for that. 

He’s shown you how intensely he loves. Every single day. And doesn’t relent, even when things had gotten a little hard. You admire him for that, and know that he was true in every sense of the word. 

His love was all consuming and with every kiss he lay on your lips the relationship between you grew more solid. 

He truly was the love of your life. 

And you were his. 

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taglist //  @corneliabarnes​ @bookish-shristi​ @saturnki​ @jennmurawski13​ @geeksareunique​ @albinotigerpython​ @cake-writes​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @000bananaclip000​ @shadowbusiness @sprinkleofbooty​ @gifsbysimplysonia​ @vhsbarnes​ @loseralert @wendaiii​ @mcueveryday​ @alwaysbenhardysgirl @beck-alicious​ @thefandomzoneisdangerous

[into-crazy]

Man Under the Makeup Pt. 7

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Female Reader series

Warnings- Cursing, mentions of violence, more sadness, talk of bad eating habits, Arthur breaking down, lots of FLUFF🥺🥰

You can find the other parts RIGHT HERE and through the “Man Under the Makeup” tag lovelies!💘

Freshly cleansed, Arthur steps into your living room. Following the scent of something delicious drawing from your kitchen. You stand over the stove, mixing sauce in a pan. The spaghetti noodles boiling on the burner next to the sauce. Unaware of his presence behind watching you focus on your cooking, humming to the tune barley coming from the small radio on the counter. Everything about you is so angelic to Arthur, your own signature qualities he adored witnessing as you obliviously displayed them.

"Something smells good."

Arthur's voice startles a slight jump. Turning to a smiling Arthur, wet hair framing his handsome face. Clear of the blood and makeup. No shirt on, displaying his thin, bare torso. He's wearing a pair of your light grey sweatpants. Not to worry, he made them fit. In fact, they dropped a little low on his hips. Exposing his lean waistline in all the right ways. No underwear. It's difficult not to stare, especially when his lower regain practically challenges your wandering eyes.

"Spaghetti sounded good, thought I'd make some." You acknowledge handing him a fluffy robe. Again, one of yours. That'll surely help keep your mind out of the gutter. Hesitant in taking it, he leaves your arm hanging. "Don't be like that," you laugh with a humorous roll of your eyes. "It's cold, take it. No one's going to see you." Waving the article until he takes it.

Sighing, he accepts it. How could he deny the comfort you so blithely provide? He wraps the fabric around his body, it's warm and soft. Okay, yeah, maybe the robe was a good idea. "Spaghetti huh? Sweetheart you know it's past 10, right?" he laughs.

"Have you ate?" You blink at him.

"Well I- no," he answers in playful defeat.

To which you snarkily reply, "hm, that's what I thought. Well then looks like we're having pasta tonight." Draining the noodles, you start fixing him a plate.

Of course he hasn't ate. There's no way he could lie to you about that. The only time he'll eat a proper meal is when he's with you, and you took note of this. So when he's in your presence, you make sure he's well fed. Though you know better not to push it. Naturally appreciating every aspect of his- which includes his slender frame. Finding him beautiful in his own skin. You just don't want him to ever go hungry.

After dinner, Arthur watches the news station while you clean up in the kitchen. He kindly offered to help out, but you refused. Telling him to relax on the couch. That might have been a mistake- the channel's replaying the 'breaking news' segment from a few hours earlier. There was a mention of the Joker and his gangs activity, plus a death resulting from it. They didn't go far into detail about the man, quickly transitioning into the next topic. You felt it was best, for Arthur's sake.

His leg bobbed up and down, he's craving badly for a cigarette. The carton sat next to his revolver by the door. However he's choosing not to have one, since he knows you're not fond of it in your home.

Once finished up, you grab a blanket from the room. Taking a seat next to him, wrapping the blank around both of you. The news isn't mentioning him anymore, yet his eyes are still widely glued to the television. He's in deep, worrying thought, you sense it. Grabbing the remote from the table, you switch the power off. He doesn't move, like he didn't even notice you turned it off. It's dead silent.

"Arthur?" You ask scooting closer, "baby, everything alright?" Shutting his eyes, he slowly shakes his head no. "You know you can talk to me. I'm here for you." Resting your head on his shoulder, you rub his arm.

"That's, that's just it.." he whispers.

"What is?"

He signs deeply before opening his eyes. "You're so good to me, so kind. Even after all the horrible things I've done."

Having gotten your full attention, you straighten up. "What are you saying?" You face him, uncertain by what he's trying to explain.

"I've done some bad shit," his tone is serious, "I guess what I'm saying is I don't.. deserve you."

Taken aback by his words, you couldn't believe he really said that- thought that! "Don't say that-"

"It's true!" He cuts you off, "Y/n, I've hurt people, killed people. Those wall street guys, Murray, people from the jobs, my- look I never told anyone this but- even my adoptive mother." You gasp in surprise, placing your hand over his. Hearing about a parental figure for the first time. "Yeah, that's right. The only woman I killed, was Penny Fleck. See, she was in the hospital. I had found out she adopted me at a young age. I was abused, neglected, lied to.. finding that out I felt so angry. When I went to see her I took a pillow-"

Arthur talked in grim detail about how he suffocated Penny to death. Describing how relieved and happy he felt when she fell lifeless. "Ha, you know she used to call me Happy? I always hated it, how I had to smile through everything." Then he goes on to describing how he also felt after shooting Murray and the guys on the train. Even some guy formally known as Randall- the gruesome stabbing followed by the furious bashing of his head against a wall. You stayed silent the whole time, carefully listening to every recited incident.

"Now do you see me for what I am? I am a monster." He tells you, ashamed. Not from what he's done, but of how you'd react.

"No you're not, not to me."

He can not hold back the fit that surges out. Unable to move, his body clenches up as the hysterical coughs and laughs emerge. Laughing so painfully hard his chest and stomach hurt. This right here, is the worst you've seen his fit take over him. Tears roll down his strained cheeks. He's crying, really bawling, it shatters your heart.

Taking his head in your arms, "that's okay, cry. Let it out. I'm here." Assuring him while he slowly calms.

"I just- I just don't understand," he whispers, "my hands are stained with blood, scarred from murder, yet you trust them- trust me- completely.. Why?" He's confused, you should be repulsed by him, despise him, hate him even for what he's done. You're a beautiful, perfect soul- giving this monster to the world your unconditional care and compassion. Is it out of fear, pity? "Why do you care so deeply for me?"

His words are like stab marks to your chest. Deeming himself unworthy of your affections. Talking terribly, tearing himself down. You choose your words carefully before answering in all honesty. "I don't judge people off of their worst, Arthur. No one in this world is perfect. You.. you're real. Been through so much, guided by your pain and anger, taking a beating from this terrible excuse of a society. But, you're free now. You've been so real, and so good to me." You reply, shedding a few tears of your own. "I'm not here to judge you. Not going to tell you what to do unless you ask for it. I won't tell you how to live your life. I'm here to hold you, comfort you. Just as you've done for me, because I care for you- I find you beautiful. I accept you, all of you. The man underneath the Joker, under all that makeup." You finish, lightly rocking him in your arms.

It's obvious he's never been familiar with this amount of kindness, endless supply of pure affection. Surely he'll question what he's not used to. And it's okay. He has you here- to show him, give him what he's been missing out on. He knows all too well that he can be a handful. A complicated man. He'll have his good days, and he'll have his bad days. It's bound. There's nothing he can do to push the bad out of his life. But, no matter how rough, how gloomy- you will be there with him through it. He's starting to realize. Fully accept it finally. He doesn't have to be unsure anymore.

Releasing your hold on him, he takes your face in his hands. Rubbing his thumb over your soft cheek. He's exhausted, telling by the heavy bags beneath his tired eyes. Giving you a heartfelt kiss, his tongue glides slowly among your own. You caress his jaw, kissing the air out of one another.

Taking a breather, his forehead rests on yours. "Is.. is it too early to tell you I love you?" He whispers deeply, causing you to giggle. Oh, how he adores those little giggles.

"You can tell me anything you're ready to tell me." You laugh.

He squints, "well, um, do you?"

"Do I, love you back?"

He nods against you, thinking maybe he's brought it up too soon. Having only been in a relationship for over two months. Heck, you're not even living together! Yet, here he is already talking about "love."

Rubbing your nose on his, you answer, "I love you." No sign of regret or dishonesty when it rolls off your tongue. You mean it. Getting to know him over time, no issue accepting his flaws. He's only human, after all. Every human has their flaws. You'd undoubtedly give your love to Arthur, in a heartbeat.

"I love you," Arthur smiles. You've become his safe haven, his genuine happiness. Because of you, he feels whole.

Kissing his temple, you nudge him over. "Alright, you should get some rest, come on." Positioning back onto the couch, you invite him in.

He removes the robe, to avoid getting hot and sweaty under the blanket. Wrapping your arms around him, he lays comfortably between your legs. Head settled atop your stomach, his hands make way underneath your thin shirt, caressing your smooth skin.

"Now, you just go ahead and fall asleep baby." You purr massaging his scalp, "I'll stay awake a little longer."

"Okay.. wait y/n, don't you work tomorrow?"

You shrug, "Not a problem. I'll call in sick." With the reassurance, Arthur drifts into a peaceful, much needed sleep. Listening to the beating of your loving heart. His relaxed breathing soon inducing you to join him.

End of part 7. Not gonna lie, I was on the verge of tears writing this up😭 Also, there’s a lovely smut piece coming up next!😆

[behindheremeraldeyes]

sasusaku month 2019

days 4 and 7— city lights/ one of these nights

title: In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning

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summary: It’s another night at Konoha hospital when Haruno Sakura is asked to check on the troublesome patient from room 412. She’s tired and busy, but she knows she’s the only one who can check on him.

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She was taking care of her daily piles of paperwork when the silence of the room was suddenly disturbed by the rushed sound of steps coming from the hallway. The rhythmicity, the loud thumps, and the clicking of the heels against the concrete floor told Sakura that at least three people were approaching her. She looked at the clock hanging in the wall across the room, which was striking 3:30am, and she figured they weren’t bringing any good news.

They never do. Especially when she’s enjoying some free time before her shift officially starts.

A sigh escaped her lips, and by the time she dropped her pen, the door of her office flew open. As expected, three nurses stood there, their faces showing concern as they all gasped for air. The pinkette straightened up at the sight, as she was already preparing herself for the worst case scenario. A brutal accident, multiple injured, chaos taking over the hospital… That or—

“Haruno-sensei! We have a problem!” The one in the middle spoke up, her glasses sliding down her nose and her caramel hair falling forward. “We need you right now!"

“Okay, slow down, slow down.” Sakura started, standing up and walking towards them. “What happened? Is anyone hurt?”

“N-No, I mean, I don’t know. Maybe someone is, but I”— She continued, her caramel eyes now averting from Sakura’s green ones.

“Stop blabbering, Chika-chan!” The one on the right said, raising her voice to her friend. “You’re just scaring her!”

“Both of you are!” The other one finally said, adding her pitched voice to that mess. “You should just—"

“Girls!” Sakura finally said, stopping them before her ears exploded. All the three nurses looked at the young medic now, and after taking a deep breath, the pinkette straightened up her face as a clear sign for them to stop that nonsense. “What happened?”

The three nurses were looking a bit apprehensive now— not scared or desperate, as to be expected in a serious situation, but those were certainly not the expressions Sakura would expect from normal emergencies. There was something more there, she knew. Something different than ordinary situations, but just as bad as a lot of people bleeding on the hospital entrance.

They were afraid. And more than anything, Sakura wanted to know why.

“It’s the prisoner, Haruno-sensei… Uchiha Sasuke. He’s escaped.”

At the sole mention of his name, her emerald eyes widened in surprise before softly relaxing. Of all the reasons why, someone could come after her with that face in the middle of the night, the Uchiha never really crossed her mind. After the end of the war, he has been admitted to the hospital— much to Sakura’s insistence— in order to take care of his injuries and run a battery of exams; and if anything, he has been a good patient ever since.

He hasn’t burned anything, he has been nice to the doctors, and for the first time in his life, Sasuke has been following orders. Her orders, to be more exact. Since it was her idea and since he used to be her teammate, Sakura took it upon herself to lead the medical team responsible for him. She signed the papers, prescribed the medications, analyzed the exams, examined him, and of course, she was the one people come to whenever there’s a problem involving the last Uchiha.

Most of the problems, as she’s learned, are not really problems, but since it’s him, well, it becomes a problem.

People were afraid of him. They were afraid he was going to burn the entire hospital down and that he was, in fact, planning to destroy the village as a part of his secret plan. To almost everyone, Uchiha Sasuke was still the criminal that has tried to kill the future Hokage of Konoha, and having an entire medical team that thought like that was quite troublesome. She was probably the only one who was not afraid of him, and that was probably why she had barely gone home in the past few weeks.

Sakura was exhausted, but that didn't mean she could just rest. Not when those three girls were probably thinking Sasuke was about to set the village on fire just because he wasn’t in his room.

A sigh escaped her lips, and after massaging the bridge of her nose, the pinkette decided to speak up. “Are you sure he wasn’t just using the bathroom or anything? Last time he was taking a shower and I walked in on him barely naked.”

“We are sure this time! He’s not there! We’ve checked.”

“Okay… I’ll go look for him then.”

“Should we inform the Hokage that Uchiha Sasuke has escaped.”

“What? No! I-I… I can handle this.”

“But can you handle him?” The one on the left said, her judging, blue eyes never leaving the pinkette. More than the other two, this girl held an arrogant aura towards Sakura and her decisions regarding the Uchiha. The young nurse hated him and whoever stood by his side; and that hatred transcended every professional barrier. 

And that was not something Sakura needed in her team.

For the first time since the girls had arrived, the young doctor stood straight, eyeing her subordinate with a serious face. The atmosphere got heavier, and from the corner of her eyes, Sakura could see the other two girls flinching. “I’m responsible for our patient. There’s no reason for any of us to bother the Godaime because of that… But of course, if you want to go out there, then make sure you’re not wasting her precious time.”

After those words and the meaning behind them, the girl shrank right there in the middle of the room. The pinkette, then, took a step forward and towards the door, grabbing her lab coat that was hanging on the back of one of the chairs. She put it on, fixing the collar, and finally turning to the now silent girls with a soft smile on her face. “You girls go get some coffee. I’ll take over now. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Thank you, Haruno-sensei!” One of them said, as they bowed down politely before exiting her office. 

Another defeated sigh escaped her lungs, and after taking in a couple of seconds to decide what to do next, Sakura left the room in order to look for her runaway teammate. Even if the girls told her they had already looked for him around the hospital, the pinkette knew better than to simply accept their words and not to double-check all the possible places where he could be. She knew he was still around the hospital— or at least nearby— for she could feel his chakra still looming around. It was faint, since the ANBU had placed chakra-restraining seals on his ankles, but it was still that same essence she’s so used to.

He was still there, she knew. And not only because she could feel his chakra.

She trusted him. As odd as that might sound, Sakura trusted Sasuke just like she trusted him back when they were younger. He might have made a lot of mistakes in the past, but he’s changed a lot after his battle against Naruto. He has opened his eyes to what really matters, and she knows he’s made peace with all his past demons.

Sakura likes to think she still knows him well enough to know when he’s telling the truth. And if he said he was going to stick to her medical recommendations, then she was going to believe him.

As she walked through the hallways of the Konoha Hospital, her emerald eyes were carefully looking for him. She couldn’t really ask around for the whereabouts of a patient like Uchiha Sasuke, so she was trying her best not to look suspicious while doing so. 

Her feet dragged her around all the common areas of the hospital, smiling and waving at everyone who approached her to say hello. Her acting skills were on point, for no one seemed to suspect her real intentions. She checked the physiotherapy rooms, the guest room, the cafeteria and even the waiting room; but there was no sign of his spiked hair. It was already 4am and she was looking for him like a mother who looks for her lost child in the middle of the crowd, though, instead of panicking, Sakura was just growing annoyed at him.

He was going to pay for doing this. He was going to pay for running around the hospital like a child, and she was going to make sure he learned his lesson.

Why couldn’t he just stay in his room? It couldn’t be worse than Orochimaru’s hideouts, for crying out loud.

The pinkette grunted, closing her right hand in a tight fist. “Shannarou, Sasuke-kun…" She muttered. She had no idea of where on earth he could be anymore, for she had tried all the places where his presence wouldn’t cause a ruckus. It was like he had disappeared, vanished, like ninjas normally do. Sakura wanted to give up and just get ready for her shift, but she knew she couldn’t, no.

She couldn’t give up.

Not before scolding him for messing her schedule.

The young medic took a deep breath, then, boosting up her energies so she could continue to look for him. For she had already spent a considerable amount of time walking around the hospital like a fool, Sakura figured there was a chance he had already returned to his room. She made her way up to the 4th floor, as her heeled boots clicked their way across the hallway until she reached his room. Room 412, the last of the hallway and quite near the emergency stairs of the Hospital. It was still empty, as expected, with a soft breeze coming in through the opened window. The curtains were dancing to the chilly, autumn serenade; the moonlight painted the ceramic floor and—

Oh…

And so… it clicked. 

The window. Of course, the girls forgot to mention that.

“Tch… Shannrou, how could I not think of that?” She cursed herself, shaking her head, as a soft smile graced her tired lips. For such a good ninja, Sasuke had left behind a trail that any genin could follow, and if anything, Sakura believed that was his intention from the start.

He wanted people to know where he was.

He wanted people to know his location within the hospital grounds.

And now that she did, Sakura could only hope for him not to be cold.

A warm feeling took over her chest as she slowly closed the door behind her. The room was once more enveloped by a comfortable penumbra, and as she rested her back against the door, the pinkette felt like a naive teenager about to do something irresponsible again. Even if she was, indeed, going after him because of her job, Sakura couldn’t help but feel excited about meeting him in a secretive place at 4am. She could tell the nurses where he was and she could even ask someone to deliver him a note, but where would be the fun in that?

It was silly of her, for sure, and she could just take the stairs as any other, normal human-being of the hospital, but for once, she wanted to do something different.

For once, she wanted to use the window.

Her teeth trapped her lower lip once more before moving away from the door, and on her way towards her newest exit, Sakura decided to take the spare blanket from inside the closet. She stood in front of the window, then, allowing the cool breeze to play with her pink locks, and in a blink of an eye, the young doctor was already making her way to the rooftop. 

Using the structure of the building to get some impulse, she jumped her way upwards, and before she knew it, her emerald eyes were already looking at him as she landed on the rail a couple of meters away from him. His eyes had seen her, she knew, but her presence didn’t affect his calm and serene demeanour. The wind was also playing with his dark locks, and after looking at his clothes, Sakura was happy to have brought the blanket along.

After stepping down from her landing spot, the pinkette started to make her way towards her teammate. A soft smile still decorated her lips, and she took a deep breath before leaning against the rail next to him. “You know…” She started, slowly, as the wind brushed against her cheeks. “Whenever you leave your room without telling anyone, all the nurses of my team come to me saying you’re finally ready to destroy the village. Can you just make up your mind and tell them you’re actually trying to behave?”

“Oh…” He shook his head, ever so slowly, still not taking his eyes away from the lights of the village beneath them. “And do you think they would believe me?”

“Probably not… I guess the only solution is for you to stay in your room, or at least, leave a note with your precise coordination.”

“Aah… I’ll keep that in mind for the next time, then.”

“Tch… You’re impossible, shannarou."

Her emerald eyes were now watching him, and she couldn’t help but be captured by the soft movement of his dark locks as they brushed against his skin. Lately, he seemed to be calmer than ever before, and even if she knew it wasn’t normal for him to be up there, it was good to see the Uchiha dealing with his emotions in a more mature way.

“So…” She started again, her voice lower now. “Wanna tell me why you’re up here at 4:30 am?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Is that all?”

“Is it ever all?"

She simply nodded, noticing he didn’t want to get into the details of what had woken him up in the middle of the night. Sakura would never want to pressure him, especially since he knew he could come to her whenever he felt like it. It was important to give him time to process his emotions, and she was ready to give him all the time he needed to do so. 

“Hum…” She continued, then, her voice now a bit softer. "You know, people with insomnia don’t just go to rooftops. They try reading books first, then they go out for a walk. Have you already finished all the books I’ve brought you?”

“Aah.” He nodded. “I’ll return them later.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that…Most importantly, did you like them?”

“They were fine. I didn’t know you were into mystery books.” He sparred her a glance, as to say he was truly interested in her literally tastes.

“Do I really look like a girl who only reads romance books?”

“Hn.” He smirked. “Definitely not.”

“I’ll bring you more tomorrow. Any preferences?”

“Whatever you choose is fine, I guess.”

“Good…”

As her voice seemed to dissolve in the wind, a comfortable silence was set between them. Their eyes were still lingering over the lights below them, and for the first time, Sakura understood why he chose the rooftop, even if so many things happened there a couple of years back.

Even if that was the place that marked the ruin of the team 7, she understood his reasons.

It was calm up there. It felt free, the air felt lighter and the lights illuminating the streets brought them a steady sense of happiness. For someone who was filled with all kinds of problems and responsibilities, just a couple minutes there were already reinvigorating. Seeing the village sleeping so peacefully after months of constant uncertainty brought ease to her heart, and at that moment, she hoped it did the same with his.

She hoped the lights below them were enough to brighten up his darkest nightmares.

The dim lights that reached his face illuminated his mismatched eyes, and she felt her heart skipping a beat. Over the years, she could see, Sasuke has turned into a beautiful man. His face has become more angular, his traces more mature and his eyes— Itachi’s eyes, as he had said during his interrogation— now held no sign of hatred towards the village. The pinkette would be lying if she said his appearance had no effect on her, and the fact that she still had feelings for him didn’t make things any easier for her.

Sakura still loves him, for sure. And her love for him was making her happy to see him growing.

Perhaps, she should just leave him to his thoughts. Perhaps, she should just—

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Sakura.”

Her eyes widened as her name rolled out of his tongue, and soon, she was brought back to their reality. Perhaps she could stay a little longer. “Sorry… I spaced out. I don’t want to interrupt your time alone.”

“You’re not interrupting anything.”

“Oh, I see…” She smiled, then, as her teeth bit her lower lip. At that moment, she could feel her cheeks warming up.

“Hn, everything is different around here.”

“Well… It’s been a long time since you were home, right? It’s normal for things to have changed.”

“I guess you’re right… It’s still impressing, though. All these lights, the new buildings, the people… Life went on despite of everything that has happened to us.”

“Yeah… Sometimes I feel like those 3 years weren’t just 3 years, you know? Looking back now, it feels a lot longer than that. A lot of things have happened after you two left. We even went to war, Sasuke-kun… Did you miss anything in particular? From the village, I mean.”

“Aah… Believe it or not, but I’ve missed my apartment a lot. I don’t think I’ll ever spend another night in a dark cave ever in my life.”

A wave of laughter took over her, and she saw as his eyes were confusedly looking at her. One of his eyebrows was arched, a pout took over his lips and it was only after she went back to normal that the young medic was able to explain the reason behind her reaction. “I’m sorry, but… Of all things you could’ve missed, I was not expecting you to talk about your apartment so longingly like that.”

“Eh? Why not?”

“I guess it’s just too simple for you, you know? To think Uchiha Sasuke would miss his bed out of so many other things.”

“What else could I have missed?”

“Well, I don’t know… Maybe your favorite food, the hot springs… Basically seeing the sun, in your case… But your bed? Really?”

“Tch… It’s not my fault if you don’t sleep anymore because of your job.”

“Hey, I do sleep, okay? Maybe not as much as normal people do, but that’s because my job makes me stay awake at night.”

“Yeah, right…” He scoffed, clearly not buying her excuse. “When was the last time you went home to sleep in your bed, by the way?”

“… Well… I went home yesterday and rested a bit.”

“How many hours did you sleep, Sakura?”

“… Around 2 hours?”

He shook his head defeatedly at her confession, as his eyes glanced at her. Sasuke was silently judging her at that moment, and even if she was trying to find herself a good argument, she knew he wouldn’t accept it. Ever since he became her patient, the Uchiha has been monitoring her working schedule like a hawk. He didn’t know much about this new Sakura, but if anything, he knew she had turned into a reckless workaholic, who barely went home and who clearly didn’t know when to stop.

So much for the greatest medical ninja of their generation.

“That’s barely a nap.”

“It’s enough.” She said, a soft smile decorating her lips. “Besides, I do get some sleep in my office when I’m not working.”

“You mean on that old couch of yours? That doesn’t count.”

“Of course it does.”

“Tch, you’re still so stubborn.” 

“Me? Look who’s talking! You’re just as headstrong as Naruto!”

“Hn. It’s different.”

“How so?”

“It just is. I’m not an idiot.”

“…” She shook her head at his statement, smiling softly at such a mature argument. At that moment, her emerald eyes captured a couple of new lights popping up, a new family probably about to start a new day. People were about to get ready for a new day in Konoha, and she used that moment to check her wrist watch. It was 4:55am. She had five more minutes before her shift started, and unfortunately, that meant it was time for them to end their night.

It was pretty late, after all.

“I guess it’s getting pretty late, right, Sasuke-kun…?”

“A little… I guess you need to go, right?”

“Yeah…” She said, sounding a lot sadder than she had initially planned. “I have to. Want me to walk you back to your room?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m not going back just yet.”

“Eh? Aren’t you sleepy?”

“Just a bit.” He nodded, looking at the horizon one more time. “But I still want to see one more thing.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Hn.” He blinked, taking a little longer to open his eyes. “Let’s see if you were right about the sun.”

One, last warm smile graced her lips, as she took a step away from the rail. Even if she didn’t want to go— even if she wanted to stay with him so they could see the sunrise— Sakura knew better than to neglect her responsibilities. People were waiting for her. They needed her down there and she couldn’t simply ignore everything else for that one moment alone with him. 

There will be other opportunities, she knew. Once he got out of that hospital, perhaps, she could take a night off and invite him to spend some time with her. 

Their time would come, she told herself. And with a nod, the pinkette finally made up her mind.

“Well… Just go back to your room as soon as the sun rises, okay?”

“Aah.”

“And take this.” She started, and before he could turn to face her, Sakura was already covering his back with the brown blanket. She saw as his eyes widened, and at that, she simply smiled. “Stay warm, okay? I’ll go check on you later for more exams.”

“Hn. I will. And thank you.” He said, pulling the blanket closer. Even if he didn’t seem to be cold, he appreciated her gesture more than she could ever tell.

Sakura, then, started walking away from him, towards the stairs. Her heels were clicking against the floor, and her hands were now hidden inside the pockets of her white lab coat. Her mind was already set on the many things waiting for her downstairs, and even if she didn’t want to go, she couldn’t help but feel more motivated.

It is her job, after all.

“Sakura.”

“Eh?” She stopped on her heels, emerald eyes widening as she turned to face him one more time. “What is it, Sasuke-kun?”

“Try getting some rest.”

“Maybe later.” She smirked, biting her lower lip in a childish way.

“Why not now? Isn’t your shift over?”

“Over? Oh, no…” She giggled, turning once more towards her way out. “It’s just about to start.”

“What?!” He snapped, surprised, and at that, the pinkette only laughed.

“Good Night, Sasuke-kun!”

Sakura, then, opened the door, and before it closed behind her, she could only hear him muttering the word ‘irresponsible’. She felt her heart beating a little faster after that, and she couldn’t wait to hear about his experience after he woke up.

A new day was about to begin. She was tired, sure, and she knew she could’ve spent that time getting some proper rest, but at that moment, Haruno Sakura was happy to be awake. She was smiling brightly, saying hello to all of those she met around the hallways, and as she went to grab the files of the patients, she could only hope he could see a beautiful sunrise.

fin.

a/n: After something more serious, I give you fluff XD I really loved writing this one and imagining the whole scenario! Lately, I've been really excited about doctor Sakura fics, so don't be surprised if she shows up in more fics from now on. Also, I'm 100% sure Sasuke would terrorize the nurses XD Enough of me! What did you think of the fic? Please, tell me your opinion! Hope you've enjoyed it!

[old-read-all-about-kpop]

@a-happy-otter: Hello! I wonder if you could write a reaction/imagine with poly Leedo and Ravn (if you don't do poly then Ravn is ok uwu) where you are stressed from college and just a lot of fluff in general since I need some pickmeup ;w; thank you so much! I really enjoy your writing!

A/N: Aww thank you hon! And I enjoy that you enjoy my writing 🥰 I am more than happy to write about a polyamorous relationship regarding the lovely rapper line. I hope you feel better after reading it 💓

Genre: Fluff

You couldn’t take it anymore. You thought you had everything handled. You owned a calendar specifically for organizing the dates of your exams, quizzes, and other important events that would happen during the semester. But, even then, your professor decided to drop a paper that was due in a week, and he expected it to be 20 pages. It was to be based on the imperial era in China. Like you knew anything about the topic. He barely assigned enough readings regarding China. The essay will have to be based solely on research. And then, you already had two essays to do along with the current one. One was due early next week, and the other was due this coming Sunday.

You were so deep in your depressing thoughts that you didn’t hear your boyfriends, Leedo and Ravn, entering you guys’ shared apartment. It wasn’t until they came into your line of sight that you acknowledged them. Then, you grew conscious of the tears that trailed down your face. You quickly wiped them away, sniffling back your sadness as you forced a smile. The boys didn’t believe you for a second.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Ravn asked, his voice dripping with concern.

“What happened?” Leedo asked, his deep voice coated with worry. He quickly sat down next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He squeezed your arm affectionately. His comforting touch provoked tears to reappear in your eyes. You tried to sniffle back your tears but failed miserably. Eventually, you couldn’t control the sobs that escaped your lips.

“Oh, baby, no!” Leedo pulled you into his chest. He peppered the crown of your head with kisses. “My sweet princess.”

Ravn hurriedly sat down next to you, placing his large hand on your thigh. He brought his head down and pressed his lips against your hoodie-clad shoulder. “It’s alright, babygirl. Don’t cry. Whatever’s wrong can be fixed. Just tell us what’s wrong so we can fix it together.” He rubbed his thumb into the side of your knee.

You loved your boys so much. They always had the mentality of “your problems are our problems”. It made your heart swell. You truly adored your men.

So, you released all your anguish into a long rant, explaining to the boys the stress you’ve been hindered with, causing all of your organization tactics to derail. You told them about your professor and his assignment that was not on the syllabus but he assigned anyway.

The boys listened to every word you said. Their eyes were shiny with sympathy for you. You were their princess. Their queen. The very last thing they wanted was for you to feel stressed, sad, exhausted, or anything that could destroy your mental or physical health. But they knew that you were a person who looked for solutions. You hated wallowing over spilt milk, so you crying over the amount of stress you have endured has engraved a deep scar on Ravn and Leedo’s hearts.

“How about this, huh?” Leedo started, leaning away from you so he may look at your face. “How about I do some research on China for you so all you have to do is type up the paper based on the notes I take? I promise I will dig deep into the topic and leave no stone unturned. Would you like that, baby?” He smiled warmly at you, his eyes sparkling with love.

You sniffled, dabbing your wet eyes with the sleeve of Leedo’s hoodie that you took shelter in. You wore Ravn’s all day yesterday. “I couldn’t ask that of you, babyboy. You have your career to focus on. You have a lot on your plate. You both do.”

Ravn placed his hand on the back of your head and brought it to his lips. He then placed you two’s foreheads together, causing you two to stare deeply in each other’s eyes.

“Baby, we don’t care. You obviously need some help. You never cry, so this is a big deal. We just want to make your load lighter. I’ll help Leedo with the research, and I could even start typing up the essay. That sounds nice, right?”

“No, no, I couldn’t ask that of my babies. You guys already work so hard and-”

“And that goes for you, too, y/n. And you’re not asking us to do anything. We’re offering. You don’t have to like it but we’re gonna do it anyway. We want our babygirl to have no stresses in her life, and today is not an exception.” Leedo’s face was serious. He meant business. So, no matter what you say, nothing was gonna stop Leedo from doing what he wanted to do. And whenever Leedo did something that would benefit you, Ravn would instantly jump on board; and vice versa.

You sighed, accepting defeat. It was useless to argue with either of them when it came to your well-being. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

A beautiful smile bloomed across Leedo’s face. He then placed a chaste kiss to your forehead before getting up. He took off his jean jacket and laid it on the back of the couch.

“Now, I’m gonna draw you a bath and drop one of your bath bombs in it. I’ll make it nice and hot for you so your muscles will feel like butter once you get out. Does that sound nice, baby?”

You pouted, feeling so grateful to have Leedo in your life. “That sounds amazing, Leedo. Thank you!”

Leedo chuckled before planting another kiss to your head. He lingered longer than the last one before standing back up. “No need to thank me, princess. Anything for you.” He then carressed your cheek softly before heading for the stairs, disappearing around the corner.

Ravn scooted away from your body. “Lay down, baby. Let me give you a foot massage.”

Your cheeks started to heat up. Your heart swelled with love. “Okay,” you said softly.

You scooted back and laid your head on a cushion. You gently placed your feet in Ravn’s lap.

“I’m gonna help you relax a bit while Leedo fills the tub, okay?” He started kneading his thumbs into the soles of your left foot. In circular motions he had the aches in them disappearing in a second. Soon enough you were in absolute bliss. You didn’t think about the tons of work you had waiting for you on your desk, or the jerk of a professor you had, or even if the dishes and laundry were washed. You simply focused on the fact that you had such great men in your life.

No longer feeling like your life was falling apart, you let yourself be succumbed by serenity. And it was all thanks to your sweet princes.

[mysticqueen-bee]

Gwevin Headcanons & Au’s (Reboot Edition)

So I've done some nods in the og continuity with some headcanons, since the reboot has breeded gwevin ideas for me I might as well write up some headcanons before I produce fanart for them  :) So here I go . Kevin has had some personal gripes he dares not to bring up from the past, so he pushed it onto Ben for all the things he had that Kevin lacked. When he met Gwen it seemed like he could care less but there was a uniqueness in her that he seemed to be drawn to, over time he seemed to wish for her calmer personality to focus on him for a change since he hated the aching loneliness that lingered deep inside his heart. . He only sees her during a certain amount of times but she's made quite the impact to him where he views her and thinks about her during high stress moments to calm himself down, unfortunately being under work with the Forever Knight he exploited his weakness and wrapped it up as a threat if Kevin ever decided otherwise. He had to reluctantly accept such terms not only to be stronger than Ben but to ensure Gwen's sunshine personality would survive another day, if it were a different world he'd wish to be wrapped comfortably in her arms and soothed by her for a long time. . The only seldom times he's been able to be near the Tennysons when he isn't fighting Ben is during specific down periods, he chooses this time to be near her but get some well needed rest. Most of the time he has very horrible nightmares in which he fails to protect Gwen from said threat that he was trying so hard to prevent, Gwen notices his whimpering and tries to relax him (which happens eventually) . Even in some of his alien forms he tends to drop his guard if Gwen is nearby, if by her simple request he lets her sit up on his shoulder and give her the scenic route if need be. With Bashmouth when she's being carried by him she's very doting and assistive to Kev's needs, when she scratches and massages his ears it relaxes him greatly and has his dog like instincts kick in from her pampering (pretty sure Gwen's respectful to both Kevin and Bashmouth equally, if she's exhausted he lets her lay beside or on his back since fluffiness can be pretty soft and comfy.)   . Though he didn't show the same feelings during that moment because of Ben he was grateful to Gwen for getting him back to human, despite the stinging words his mind going blank and his body being in massive pain clung onto him in his dreams just as much as the other nightmares. . Gwen noticed him mulling things over on the side of a grassy hill near the walkway she was on and decided to sit beside him, he was surprised but was more than elated that she wanted to spend time with him. After talking about things for a while he felt that he'd open up to her on some things, his vulnerability started to spill out of him as he choked tears over certain subjects he was afraid to share to her (she listens and understands that there's some things Kevin might want to keep to himself, she'd not want to pry and trigger something painful for him since he's already been hurt enough at this point) . He wasn't sure how he had but he had collapsed to his knees and buried his head into Gwen's shirt as he began bawling his tears, while he cried he felt the soft touch of her hand wrap itself around his back as another gently stroked the back of his head. As time passed he let his body relax despite his tears continuing to flow from his sore eyes as exhaustion claimed him, Gwen noticed that he cried himself to sleep so she lightly dried his tears while positioning him in a comfortable position without waking him since he deserves something good after all the crap he's been going through . After all the scary events had come to a close and his standing with Gwen was on a mutual standpoint she suggested they go on a few dates, so they go back to the carnival like area they were at (the one from Buggy Out) and try to enjoy some fun when being away from Ben. Gwen however felt nauseous which resulted in her asking Kevin if they could sit down for a while and as the type of boy that cared about her he nodded and led them to an empty bench, to relieve the pain he gently stroked her upset tummy for a while (until she had to run to the nearest trashcan, but it was a given to get rid of the toxins that were plaguing her) she returned to his side and tried to relax but felt bad that her mid morning illness was screwing up their date. He ensured her that derailments happen while telling her that they still have the rest of the day to enjoy all that the carnival has to offer to them both which made her perk up a soft smile towards to him, she lays her head beside him as she let herself take a nap to recover while Kev watched over her ensuring her comfort and safety as she would've done for him in return before joining her in her nap. . Another of their dates was going back to the space camp which had some major fixes (despite some things being in the nearly fixed stage from the previous scuffle) but Kevin was feeling unsure at first but Gwen promised that things won't happen the same way as it happened that day, he blinked then nodded as he was dressed into the same blue spacesuit they had worn before as he followed her lead to the anti gravity simulation room. She kept by his side as the world around them was enveloped in darkness with only the stars being their main source of light, she enveloped her hand around his as they lightly drifted across the weightless void while a few moments later Gwen would feel comforted with the thought of sharing her first kiss with him (he was pretty surprised when she was the first to initiate it but it was probably the one of the best moments he'd have in his life so far, this tenderness lasted for a while until Ben interrupted souring the mood but Gwen ensured him that despite the abrupt conclusion that she had fun with him which he couldn't disagree with ) . When she's injured he tries to at least shield her and get her out of harms way as quickly as he can possibly manage, after addressing her wounds he probably uses rush to get her to her grandpa and Ben (because despite how he feels around him her safety and happiness takes precedence) . Though him using hotshot with her involved seemed to be at the most problematic timing he transformed into him in hopes that he can show that he wouldn't be as volatile as before, he lifted his open pyronite palm near her that she eventually touched with her own (because if she can easily touch Ben's heatblast with a fist bump then surely Kevin's hotshot could be touched with her palm albeit for a short time.) . Sometimes Gwen lets Kevin rest on her lap when the day is pretty calm and there isn't a ton of problems afoot, plus it's pretty easy to catch up on a good book while the other party is taking a pleasant nap . Sometimes crafting gifts from your abilities are a nice thing to have, Crystal Fist definitely would create roses for Gwen (despite not being yellow) since Kevin thinks it'd be a nice surprise to show her (it was odd at first but she appreciates the gesture) . Gwen likes to have little slow dances so the recent event while her family head towards them was exciting, since Kevin seemed pretty lonely she asked him to have a dance with her which he pleasantly obliged as they danced gracefully (with some practice) to one of her favorite songs at that event. . Certainly Kevin had a new nemesis in Gwen but it wasn't in the normal sense, she was a rival to his heart considering that she had stolen it (he intends to let her keep it) Now from my friend @seizerofdarkness I have added some small headcanons for the what if scenarios of Gwen 10 and Kevin (for their matching alien dates, which would be cute and some silly XD) . Everyone has their big tall boyfriend carting them around but its a complete game changer for two drastically different sized galvans, Ben discovers Dark Matter wearing some sort of tux since Gwen thought he'd look nice in it and before Ben could make some joking retort Kevin told him not to even make one peep about it. . Overflow and Undertow have a small diving trip through the ocean on a bit of a vacation at the beach, they had a fun time but Gwen had to take lead so the muddy water wouldn't harm the aquatic life (plus they need to surface sometime soon since they're both human and the watches can't keep them like that forever) . While being as Rath, Gwen started to squabble to Kevin that despite if he looks cute or not that she would not be a pushover in the fight which wasn't a problem to him since he enjoys a difficult battle before changing into Bashmouth (plus he likes her savage like nature, the scene that was caused though sent a ton of mixed signals since they were acting too personal to one another) . Gwen suggested a nice picnic area that she and Kev would escape to so they went along with it, after setting up everything carefully they changed into Fourarms and Quadsmack respectively. Devouring the pre-made lunch is one thing but keeping the food together is another, during that time Gwen mentions his interesting feats in her battles with him which earns her a small pat on the head for her compliment. (They even think about doing some sparring later if the mood is present) . Whenever Hotshot is present, Gwen as Heatblast plays around and jokes about his name while giving a little wink despite his irked look. He thinks over something then goes about to prank her back for such, but it's all in good fun anyways since it isn't going to hurt anyone. . Gwen and Kevin decided to enjoy a leisurely little race (in the unconventional method as Xlr8 and Rush) since the wind briskly passing beside them is a pretty thrilling feeling, though Gwen has to keep track of Kev so he doesn't trip over something by accident and hurt himself (if he does then she'd tend to him once he changes back to normal) . Sometimes people like to reenact a little bit of bowling and what better forms to have then to be Cannonbolt and Wreckingbolt, all Gwen asks of Kev is to not be too rough as he bumps her forward to hit the pins (likewise that she bumps him with some force when he's the one to hit the pins, he just needs to mind not scraping them with his spikes) That's about as much as I can add to this with my current headcanons, might update if I have more thoughts but I think this is a nice amount at this point ^^

[aqlemonade]

It’s Not Christmas Without You - Biadore

AN: I’m a few days off for a Christmas fic, but we’re rolling with it! A quick story based on Danny buying Roy his Christmas decorations.

Summary: Roy doesn’t want Danny to work through the Christmas holiday.

“I wanna do this for you, Roy. You’re my priority.”

Danny bounced around Roy’s living room not doing anything in particular; He just couldn’t stay still. “When are you putting the tree up?” He bugged Roy as he floated around the room. Christmas was closer than it seemed, and in Roy’s undecorated apartment it felt even farther away.

“Why would you think I’m putting up a tree?” Roy asked from the couch, his eyes not looking up from the book they were glued to.

Danny stopped in his tracks. “It’s Christmas! You had that gorgeous tree last year.”

Roy shrugged. “Last year you were here,” his tone faltered. “Besides, we have a tree at your place. We don’t need one in mine.”

Danny was not going to accept that. While he wasn’t a huge fan of the material part of the holidays, he loved the spirit of them. He loved spending time with his friends and family. To take the time to really appreciate and show gratitude for their presence in his life. He loved how light and comfy the atmosphere felt when the Christmas lights were on and stockings were hung. It was always like pulling teeth with Roy to get him to embrace any holiday, but Danny managed to do it every time.

“C’mon, Roy,” Danny cuddled up next to him on the couch, wrapping his arms around Roy’s neck. A small pout appeared on Danny’s lips. “What harm would a tree and a few decorations do?” He batted his long eyelashes at Roy, still pouting his lips.

“I told you no,” Roy got up from the couch and away from Danny’s embrace. He was strong, but he knew he’d give in to Danny’s tactics if exposed to them for long enough. He put his book down on the kitchen counter along with his reading glasses. Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. “It just doesn’t feel like Christmas,” he admitted. “And when the only person I care about spending the holiday with isn’t going to be here, I don’t see much of a point in decorating the place.”

Danny’s expression fell. “Roy, I...I didn’t know you felt that way. You said it was okay if I worked through Christmas. I asked you.” Danny was dumbfounded. On one hand he felt awful that his absence was ruining the holiday for Roy. On the other hand he was infuriated that Roy told him it was fine when he knew it wasn’t.

“I changed my mind! People do that sometimes,” Roy snapped at Danny, throwing his hands in the air. This was his own fault for being stubborn, Roy knew that. He couldn’t swallow down his pride for five seconds to tell Danny that he wanted him home for the holiday.

“I can’t cancel any more gigs, Roy! Nobody’s gonna wanna work with me if I keep doing that shit! If you told me sooner I could’ve had an entire week freed up for us!”

“I’m not asking you to cancel anything!” Roy raised his voice. He hated yelling at Danny, and he hated the look of fear and confusion on Danny’s face when he did. Roy took a breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

Danny nodded his head, “It’s okay.”

Roy’s shoulders slumped as he padded back to the couch to sit next to Danny. “I don’t want you to cancel any shows because of me. I should have told you how I felt in the first place,” Roy sighed. He looked so sad it broke Danny’s heart. Danny laced their fingers together, using his other hand to cup their intertwined one. “When you’re gone all those decorations are gonna do is remind me that you’re not here.”

Danny blinked back tears. He didn’t want to leave Roy alone on Christmas, especially not when he was the only person Roy was looking forward to being with. “I know it’s not the same, but I’ll FaceTime you for as much of the day as I can. We can eat and watch movies together. I’ll just be on your phone screen instead of at the table.” As much as Roy appreciated Danny trying to band-aid the situation, his solution wasn’t an appealing one. He was tired of the only way to see Danny being through FaceTime. Of course it was better than nothing. This was his fault after all. Danny was just trying his best to fix Roy’s mistake.

Roy flashed him a small smile, “I’d like that.”

“And we can celebrate as soon as I get back! I’m talking Christmas movies, my mom’s leftovers, ugly sweaters. The whole nine! I promise,” Danny squeezed his hand. Roy nodded. Danny was so sweet to him it made Roy’s chest ache. The older man re-positioned himself; Nuzzling his face into Danny’s neck while hugging his body. Half of Roy was on top of Danny while the other half was on the couch.

Danny kissed Roy’s forehead. A rush of affection towards Roy coming over him. Secretly adorable still described his best friend perfectly.

—— Danny had snuck into Roy’s apartment the next afternoon. Well, as much as a person with a key to the front door could sneak in. The first thing he did was go to Sammy and Dede’s playpen. “Hi, Babies!” He spoke to them like toddlers. Danny stepped over the small gate that kept them inside, lowering himself to the ground so he could pet and kiss the pups. The dogs loved their aunt Adore. They jumped all over him, licking his face and hands. “I bet you guys wanna get outta here,” Danny cooed to them. He reached over to unlatch the hook. Sammy bolted as soon as it swung open. Dede hung around for a few more ear scratches before trotting out.

Sammy had run into Roy’s room to curl up on his bed. Dede on the other hand quietly followed Danny around the house. He had made his way back into the living room, throwing down a plastic rite aid bag he had on his shoulder. Danny was admiring the gift he purchased Roy when the doorknob began to jiggle.

Danny panicked. He wasn’t expecting Roy to be home for another hour or two. Of course when he needed Roy out of the house the man’s shopping trip time somehow cut in half. The rite aid bag was shoved under a couch cushion. The present placed on Roy’s table. Danny stepped in front of it so Roy wouldn’t see it  immediately after walking in.

Danny stood there with a nervous grin on his face and his hands clasped together in front of him, waiting for Roy to come in.

“Shit, stupid fucking bags,” Roy cursed under his breath as he struggled to keep the door open and carry all them in it at once. He plopped them down on the floor, slamming the door shut. Roy tossed his keys on the kitchen counter, fumbling with something Danny couldn’t see.

“If I was a murderer you would be dead by now,” the youngers voice in an otherwise silent apartment made Roy jump. With a hand over his rapidly beating heart he turned around. His favorite human stood in his living room unannounced, and apparently let the dogs out as Dede was sat next to Danny’s feet.

“Have you made yourself at home?” Roy chuckled. It wasn’t anything new coming home to see Danny already there, planned visit or not. He spent most of his time at Roy’s house. They lived there together for a short while, but decided separate houses within walking distance worked best for their relationship.

“I have,” Danny moved to the side so Roy could see what he had gotten him. “Tada!” His arms spread out to show off the present: A small, clear, plastic Christmas tree. Danny grinned from to ear to ear. “And look!” A button on the front with the words Try Me above it made the tree light up different colors and play music. “I thought that you needed at least one decoration. This isn’t too much, but it’s something! If it makes you sad looking at it when I‘m gone you can press the button and it’ll get all pretty! Who can be sad with pretty lights and music playing?” Danny smiled happily at him.

Roy’s demeanor was unreadable for a moment before cracking. “I love it.” It wasn’t exactly the toy itself that he loved, but the thought that Danny had put into it. To get something that was bright and loud to not only remind him of his love, but to cheer him up as well. Roy walked towards Danny, pulling him in for a sweltering kiss.

“That’s not all,” Danny announced against Roy’s lips. With a smirk on his face Danny took Roy’s hand into his own. “Follow me.” Roy followed behind Danny until being brought to the master bathroom. There were rose pedals leading to an oversized tub. Upon getting closer Roy noticed bubbles and pink water. “Calming bath salts, a cool ass pink bath bomb that had flowers in it, and so much bubble bath,” Danny rattled off all things he added to their bath.

Roy thought it was beautiful, but, “I’m not really in the mood to fuck like aquaman, Dan.”

“It’s not a sex thing!” Danny was almost offended at the assumption. “I wanna help  you relax. You deserve it—Or you did before you called me a whore,” he chuckled.

“My whore,” Roy pecked Danny’s cheek.

The couple stripped down to nothing. Danny got into the tub first, playfully throwing bubbles at Roy as he climbed in after him. Roy sat in front of Danny with his back towards him. His body stiffened at first. He barely made any contact with Danny. “It’s me,” Danny reminded Roy, moving himself closer to massage Roy’s shoulders.

Roy’s eyes fluttered shut. The reality check that he was with Danny allowed his mind to relax. He had nothing to feel awkward about or ashamed of in Danny’s presence. Sometimes he forgot that.

Roy’s back laid against Danny’s chest. His head fell to the youngers shoulder. Danny’s heart felt warm as he ran his fingers through Roy’s hair. He pressed a kiss to his forehead, his arms wrapping around Roy’s waist as he rested his head on top of his.

They stayed like that for a while. Enjoying each other’s embrace and the comfortable silence.

“I love you,” Roy whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Eventually Danny grabbed for the shampoo. He squeezed a small amount into his palm before working it into Roy’s scalp. It was things like this that Roy loved. These extremely intimate moments where he realized how comfortable he was with Danny. Roy had never taken a bath or shower with another person when sex wasn’t the ultimate goal, nevermind letting someone wash him. A content smile spread on Roy’s lips.

Danny repeated the process with conditioner. When that was done he moved on to Roy’s body. Gentle kisses were pressed against Roy’s shoulder before Danny scrubbed the skin with a loofah. He got all of Roy’s back. Their eyes met for a sweet gaze when Danny washed his chest. “Stand up,” he asked of Roy. Danny ran the sponge up Roy’s legs. “Turn around.” He gently rubbed over Roy’s butt. The older man couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“I’m ticklish.”

“I know. It’s cute.”

“Your turn,” Roy said as he dipped back into the water. Danny laid against him this time as Roy massaged shampoo into his hair. The younger moaned at the sensation, his head lulling back in Roy’s hands. “Don’t fall asleep,” Roy warned when he noticed his loves eyes closing. His fingers combed conditioner through the long locks. Danny had actually dozed off a few times in the process. Roy rinsed Danny’s hair out, the water dripping on his forehead caused him to wake up.

Danny groaned, turning around to look at Roy. “I gotta tell you something,” he yawned.

“Tell me.”

Danny stuck his pinky out, “You can’t get mad and go all mom on me, though.”

Roy laced his brows together in confusion, but hooked his pinky with Danny’s anyway.  

Danny swallowed roughly. He swished around a pile of bubbles with a stray flower on top. “I canceled all my gigs for the week so I could spend Christmas with you.”

Roy sighed. He pushed a piece of wet hair out of Danny’s face and behind his ear. “Are you ready to handle the backlash from that? What about everything you said yesterday?” Roy inquired with a delicate voice. He wouldn’t get mad at Danny, he promised so. Besides, Danny did this for him—because of him. If he had told Danny he wanted him home the first time he asked Danny wouldn’t have had to do this.

The younger man shrugged with a pout on his face, his attention still on the floating bubbles and flowers. “Not really,” Danny answered his first question, prompting Roy to caress his cheek. “I know what I said—It’s probably true, but you’re more important to me than any of that. I was thinking, Roy. You’re always there for me. You always want me to feel good, and try your best to make sure that I do. You care about me. You take care of me. My fans are gonna grow up. I’m gonna be so irrelevant one day that I won’t be able to pay someone to book me...But you’ll still be here. You deserve all my time and energy. You never ask for it. This is the one time you have. I wanna do this for you, Roy. You’re my priority.”

Roy’s heart swelled as Danny spoke. He smiled at him, tilting his chin up to catch his lips in a kiss. “I love you, Danny.” Roy mumbled with his lips pressed against his. “I love you so much,” he cupped Danny’s face, deepening their kiss. “Thank you for this,” Roy took a break from attacking Danny’s lips to press their foreheads together. “I know what you’re sacrificing to be here, and I appreciate it so much.”

Danny knew the consequences to this: A handful of promoters who wouldn’t want to work with him anymore, disappointed fans, and the loss of at least a few colleagues respect. But he had made Roy happy. He would be spending the holidays with his mom and brothers; his friends and the love of his life. Right now, Danny was content in his decision. He leaned in to kiss Roy’s lips again, a laugh lingering on his smile.

AN: I said this in a previous post, but to reiterate: I had already written in the bit about Danny canceling gigs before he had done so. It’s not my intention to upset anyone who missed out on their chance to see Adore, or make it seem like I don’t believe her reasons for canceling.

[lucio-montague]

Coming Home | Ty & Lu

WHO: Tybalt Capulet & Lucio Montague WHEN: July 15, 2019 WHERE: Lucio’s apartment WHAT: Upon learning of Oz’s arrest, Tybalt commands Lucio to come home and takes care of him. Lucio does not know how to act. Words are said.

@ty-capulet

Tybalt

Ty knew that Lucio would not be happy when her came home. The man was too used to dealing with everything on his own. It didn't matter what Ty thought of Oz or his guilt (to be honest, he wasn't sure), if they were serious about their relationship, then it was his job to take care of Lucio.   But this wasn't about obligation. Ty needed this. He needed Lucio to know he could be relied on. That it was okay to share a burden. He knew he wasn't good at it but he wanted to be. So he waited for Lucio to return to his new home. He'd shed his suit for sweats and sat on the sofa with file filled with things he needed to reed over.

Lucio

Lucio was feeling a lot of things. Anger, sadness, disappointment, concern. Oz's arrest weighed heavily on him, and every moment that he was not drowning himself in work was time spent worrying about what was to come. And then there was Tybalt. Tybalt, who had commanded him to come home instead of working through the night. Who wanted to take care of him. When he entered the apartment, he toed off his shoes and walked in to find Tybalt on the couch. "Good evening, Lord Capulet," he said. "I'm going to take a bath." He'd, of course, take his phone with him so he could answer emails and read articles about Oz, looking for a way to spin everything to make Verona doubt Oz's guilt.

Tybalt

"Stop," Ty said, "You may have your bath but I want to speak with you first. Come here," he said, gesturing to the seat next to him.  "Before you object, I'm asking this of you. It would be much easier to issue a command. This, however, is a personal request."

Lucio

Lucio clenched his jaw. "Very well," he said, sitting down on the sofa next to Tybalt, crossing his legs and keeping his posture straight. "What would you like to speak about? There is a lot I'd like to get done this evening."

Tybalt

"That's what I would like to talk about. You cannot do this to yourself.  You will work yourself until you cannot function properly. You cannot help him if you do not take care of yourself. And if that means I have to be the bad guy and step in to stop you, so be it." Ty kept a concerned gaze turned toward Lucio. He didn't want to argue. "You aren't alone."

Lucio

Lucio felt a spike of irritation. "I can't imagine how I survived all these years without you forcing me to come home." He gazed at Tybalt. "I know my limits. This wouldn't be the first all-nighter and it certainly won't be my last. I own and run a fast-paced weekly magazine. I am an adult. And right now I have more than my work to handle." He didn't want to deal with anything lying underneath. He had tasks to do and they would keep him afloat.

Tybalt

"Did I ever say you weren't an adult or a successful one at that?" Ty said, trying not to match Lucio's irritation. "No, right now you are trying to do anything you can to not think about what you can't solve. You came to me when you thought I might need support. Why is that perfectly acceptable but it's not acceptable for me to do the same. If I'd used that same argument on you...would you have accepted it? I am also certainly an adult with many responsibilities."

Lucio

Lucio crossed his arms. "It's not that it is not acceptable, Tybalt. But I simply asked what you needed, and I put my work aside to give you that. I didn't demand you do anything. If I don't focus it can mean Oz being put away forever, and I can't deal with that." He gazed down at the floor. "I know you likely think me stupid for believing in his innocence. I know he is capable of unsavory things, but this was not him. If staying up so I can research and work on potential wardrobe choices for future trial dates helps him, I can't just stop because I'm tired. This is the person who gave me my life, Tybalt. I would have nothing without him."

Tybalt

"Lucio, you stopping for a moment does not mean that Oz will be put away forever. That's ludicrous. Yes, I am sure you will play an important role and that your help could be crucial...but his fate is not solely your responsibility." He sighed, wanting to reach out and knowing it wasn't the right time. "No, I don't think you are stupid. I think you are loyal and I can only hope my family views me the same way. Do I like the man? No. You know my feelings about him. I find him...well, unsavory is a good word.  But even I am not sure that he isn't innocent." That was painfully difficult to admit. "It's not that you want to stay up all night. It's not even that you will push yourself. But you are hell bent on fixing this yourself and that's not recognizing you have limits.  And whether you believe it or not, you aren't alone."(edited)

Lucio

"I know. I know I'm not alone. I know I have limits. I know I can't fix everything. Or anything maybe." Lucio was tired. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine come on. "Is that enough for you right now?" He didn't know what else he could say. It was all too much for him. He hated the idea of Oz locked away for something he didn't do. He wanted to cry and scream and punch things, but he couldn't.

Tybalt

Ty hated this. Hated watching Lucio suffer. "No, it's not. But it will have to be." Ty reached out finally, placing his hand on the back of Lucio's neck. "I know you don't believe this. I'm not sure I do. I spent a lot of time thinking I didn't need anyone. But I need you. There is nothing I wouldn't do if it meant sparing you pain." Ty had never been good with emotions. He wasn't sure where his ability to convey them was actually coming from. "Lucio, I love you. I didn't order you home to hurt you. Believe that."

Lucio

Despite his irritation, the hand to the back of his neck was comforting to Lucio as he tried to massage away the headache that was forming behind his eyes. He covered his eyes with his hand, feeling unforgivably emotional. Which grew more difficult to keep at bay when he heard Tybalt say those words. He turned his back to Tybalt. "Forgive me. I just need a moment." He couldn't let Tybalt see tears rolling down his face. He hadn't expected Tybalt to say that.

Tybalt

Tybalt mentally kicked himself for the moment he'd chosen. He wasn't even sure he'd consciously chosen. It had just come out of his mouth like he'd said it a million times before.  He kept his hand where it was, letting the submissive know he was still there. "I think it's me that should ask forgiveness. I didn't mean to add more...to this already emotional day."

Lucio

Lucio tried to steel himself, to make himself stop crying, but without his permission, more tears fell. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I was simply, caught by surprise. I’m afraid...I have started to cry and as I do not cry often...it will take some time...” He tried wiping at his eyes with his hand, but it did nothing. “Your feelings...are reciprocated...though I am not showing it well...”

Tybalt

Ty let out a sigh of relief. "Tears have never scared me before. I understand that they may be unwanted but maybe they are necessary. " His voice has softened, understanding all too well how difficult it was to feel helpless in the face of emotions.   "I know you will work tirelessly. I really do admire that. But for tonight, allow me to stay. Let me take care of you so that you can do what you need to do."

Lucio

Lucio hiccuped, his breath catching in his throat as he wept. Why was Tybalt so unexpectedly gentle with him? Why couldn’t he be the arrogant bastard Lucio had thought him to be? He was so unaccustomed to it, to being taken care of, to being treated gently. “Very well,” he replied. “I will...acquiesce for now...”

Tybalt

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Tybalt replied, unable to stop himself. It was hard to see Lucio like this. His submissive was so strong. This didn't diminish him. In fact, it humbled him a bit to know that this strong man allowed him to take some of his burden. Slowly, the hand at Lucio's neck moved so that he had his arm wrapped around his shoulders instead.

Lucio

When Tybalt moved to wrap an arm around him, Lucio gave up on quelling his tears and turned to look at his Dominant. “I’m sorry. I know I am...difficult.” He still wished he could work, but he was slowly giving in to his body’s exhaustion.

Tybal

Ty shook his head. "As if I'm not?" he mused. "Do not apologize for being you." He'd not mentioned the princesses message to anyone yet. But he had to tell Lucio. He owed him that. "I heard from the Princess already. She has...removed the second decree requirements. I know that is probably far from your mind at the moment...but maybe it will relieve some small amount of stress."

Lucio

Lucio sighed out an incredulous chuckle. They were both difficult, but Tybalt seemed better able to adapt to their life together. Lucio was still finding his legs in many ways. Letting himself be taken care of. Being his true authentic self, not the one he showed to the public. Crying. He used his sleeve to wipe at his eyes and cheeks again as Tybalt told him news of the Princess. "Oz has already lost his title, but I'm glad you get to keep yours. And we have confirmation that it was Oz she was truly going after."

Tybalt

"I suppose we do. Though it was clear from the beginning." He had to hold his tongue. If Oz had managed to keep his claim with Megan, that decree would never have happened. Though the Princess would have probably found another way to go after the man. "Now stop using your sleeve. Your dry cleaner will have a fit. Shall I run a bath? I'm occasionally useful."

Lucio

Lucio nodded his head, feeling solemn. "I'll replace the shirt. It doesn't matter." He sighed. "Yes, a bath would be nice." He wanted  to wash his face, wash away his vulnerability in this moment. "Thank you," he said to Tybalt. "I...love you." He hadn't exactly said it before, and he refused to lack intention in his words.

Tybalt

Ty wouldn't have said a word if Lucio hadn't said it back. It was enough that he'd acknowledged it. Tybalt took his hand and raised it to his lips in acknowledgement, pressing a soft kiss there. More could be said later. Right now, he had a bath to prepare.

[followthru4]

Accidentally Unreleased

                           The Next Day, 11:46am

Sage and Rhys spent the night in her dorm room following their evening with Hope. Sage wanted to do all that she could to bring him relaxation after his anger disrupted their dinner. She noticed that he was genuinely a nice and laid back guy, until his biological father Raylon was mentioned. Last night after their time with Hope, Sage invited Rhys back to her dorm and pampered him. She started with a warm lotion shoulder massage as she sat on his back, singing softly to ease his mind. Next she massaged his feet, taking her time with each as she worked her way up to his calves. Finally, she rubbed her hands underneath his shorts until they made a home at his member. Rhys was definitely shocked by this action, but did nothing to stop her. She took as much of him as she could into her mouth and self coached herself on what he liked best. She paid attention to his body movements and grunts as she learned how he wanted her to please him. It didn’t take long before she had Rhys deep inside her throat, adding more saliva to his manhood, emulating the effects of her pussy. She guessed it had only been fifteen minutes before he moaned her name, giving her the clue that he was going to release. Quickly, Sage removed her lips and stroked his hard-on with both hands until he came into her palms. After excusing herself to shower in her dorm shared restrooms, she crawled back into bed with Rhys, who was sound asleep, and held him close.

Now, however, they were at Johnston's Counseling Services. A premier family consoling company in Newcrest. Sage regained control of her thoughts, forcing herself to suppress last night as Mr. Johnston entered the conference room. He was a handsome gentleman, with a  five o’clock stubble and piercing grayish-blue eyes. His dirty blonde hair sat gently on his head, nicely combed. Sage caught herself checking him out from head to toe, until Rhys noticed and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Chill out babe.” He whispered in her ear. She smiled at her boyfriend, with a slight embarrassed blush, and refocused on the task at hand.

Mr. Johnston: “Welcome everybody, I thank you for making the commitment to address the issues that effect your family. It is a difficult decision to allow a stranger into your lives and give direction on strategies to assist in better living. Therefore I am truly honored to be that source of cohesion for you all. Let’s begin, shall we?” He asked as he took a seat in his judge styled arm chair.

Across the room, sitting in teams based on opinion so to say, was everyone else. You had Sage, Rhys, and Hope on one couch. Raylon, Aaron, and Kade on another couch. Rhys looked at his father with the same amount of hate and animosity he exhibited in Aaron’s backyard a few weeks prior. Sage kept her hands close to Rhys’ leg as to be ready to relax him with her touch whenever she thought necessary. Initially no one said a word, until Raylon broke the ice.

Raylon: “I’m not sure this is actually going to fix anything, but we can start, I guess.”

Mr. Johnston: “Thank you, Ray.” He responded “I would like us to go around the room, and one by one, share what bothers you the most about someone else in this room.” Sage’s eyes widened, does he want to see a fist fight in here? She thought. “Don’t be shy, this is part of the process, the sooner someone speaks, the better.”

Hope: “I’ll start.” She said standing up and facing the group. “What bothers me the most about Raylon is that he lives his life strictly for himself. Never once considering how his actions affect those around him, particularly his family.” She sat back down. Mr. Johnston proceeded to take a few notes before Sage stood up.

Sage: “What bothers me the most about Rhys is that he cannot enjoy his life because he is still hurting by the pain his father, Raylon, inflicted onto him and his mother.” Mr. Johnston nodded his head in approval, taking a few more notes, as Kade stood up.

Kade: “What bothers me the most about Hope is she thought keeping Rhys a secret from Raylon would be a smarter choice than informing him. In my opinion this was more destructive, ultimately, than the actions of my client.” Kade was Raylon’s personal lawyer. He handled all law binding situations for Raylon. For example, he helped Raylon close on his dispensary purchase, settle his divorce with Hope, and also assisted Raylon in searching for the real paternity test of Rhys. Raylon found out Rhys was his son months before Hope ever disclosed the information to him, all because of Kade.

Mr. Johnston: “Thank you, Kade. We are off to a wonderful start. I appreciate the honesty you all are sharing. Would anyone else like to go?”

Aaron shook his head no. He truly had nothing negative to say about anyone. He loved his daughter, had no problems with Rhys, and was not going to bag on his boy Raylon. Aaron was only in attendance for emotional support for his best friend. That left Rhys, whom everyone in the room gazed at. They knew this session was mostly for him and figured he had a lot to get off his chest. Rhys stood to face his family and peers.

Rhys: “I’ve had a great life, childhood. My mother made sure I was always provided for, taken care of, safe. My step-father, Layne, never disrespected me nor my mother, or my little brother Magnus. I was able to be a kid, and do kid things. But this is very heavy on me. Sage, mother, I know this was your idea. I know you see me hurting and only want what’s best for me, but I don’t want to do anything like this ever again. This will be the first, and last meeting. I’m letting all of you in this room know that.” He paused and looked at Mr. Johnston. Damn, this family was paying me good! He thought before Rhys continued. “Raylon, I don’t believe you intentionally chose to break my mother and cause her to feel divorce and lies about my paternity test were her only options. I also don’t believe you had no parts in providing for me in my youth. Mother, did he give you any support? Child support? Anything?”

Hope stared directly into her son’s eyes, “Yes, son. He did not know about you as his child during the divorce proceedings, but he did insists that alimony be deposited to me monthly.” Rhys turned and looked at Raylon. “As I was saying, I never believed you were that malicious. Thank you for being a man, at least in that aspect. But how come you never came around, once you learned about me? How come you and Kade over here didn’t round up your documents and fight to be apart of my life? Why did you just accept what my mother did?”

Mr. Johnston continued to take notes, noticing that he hadn’t spoke to the group in over five minutes. He did not want to interrupt the organic progressions of Rhys’ release, therefore he choose to stay quiet.  Raylon stood to match Rhys’ eye level before his response. “I wasn’t sure, son, I mean Rhys. I wasn’t sure how that would all go. I knew you were raised to believe Layne was your father and I did not want to cause any confusion in your life. It was not going to be good for you, but I always thought about you Rhys.”

Rhys: “Good enough, Mr. Johnston this session is now over. I am fine people, okay?! I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I don’t want anymore of these cheesy sessions. None of that! Got it? Raylon, you are still not my father. His name is Layne, but right now I can say that we can be cool and that I have no hard feelings towards you. I appreciate that you took care of my mother after everything went to shit and for that, I respect you.” He said, sticking out his right hand to give Raylon a handshake.

Raylon shook Rhys’ hand and quickly swiped away a lone tear. “Alright Rhys, thank you sir.”

Mr. Johnston: “Wow, Rhys I am truly impressed. Most families are screaming over the top of one another by now, not hearing a word each other are saying. I have notated everything you all discussed and will keep this in my files for any future meetings. I know you said there will not be any, but you never know Rhys. My door is always open.” Rhys sat back down next to Sage, attempting to ignore what Mr. Johnston was saying and wrapped an arm around her. “Welp, I guess we are done here. Good day everybody.”

Once outside of the counseling office, everyone said bye and proceeded to go their separate ways. No one lived in Newcrest, expect for Sage and Rhys, so traveling was imminent for the parents and their friends.

Hope: “I’m proud of you son. Are you sure you’re going to be okay now?” Rhys nodded his head, “Yeah mother, I’m good.” He replied squeezing Sage’s hand. “Okay, I’m going to hit this road. I have a little drive ahead of me. I’ll give you a text once I make it back.”

Sage: “Please do, and thanks again for spear heading this with me.” She gave Hope a hug. “Definitely Sage, I want to say I’m proud of you too and very happy my son has chosen to make you his lady. Be safe now you two. I’ll see you soon.” Hope responded grabbing Rhys into her arms and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Rhys and Sage waved Hope off as she drove on towards Willow Creek. They elected to walk from downtown Newcrest to their dorms. It was a thirty five minute walk but they didn’t care. The weather was nice and a stroll was soothing after all that had occurred over the last forty eight hours. Neither of them said a word during the walk, just subtle looks at one another and sweet kisses here and there. Sage was thrilled to hear Rhys say that he was over the hurt from Raylon. She could only hope he meant that, and would prove it with his actions.

Previous | Beginning | Next

[throughthefumes]

neither lost nor found vi

Sleep didn’t come so easy to Grantaire, still torn up over the evening’s events and everything that had led them to here. When he finally managed to drift off, he slept restlessly and uneasily, jolting awake every so often only to remember what had happened and struggle to fend off tears long enough to fall back to sleep.

Enjolras woke every time Grantaire jolted awake beside him, and blearily let him get readjusted and then gathered him back up in his arms and drifted back off to asleep, until he couldn’t again.

“Hey,” he murmured, voice scratchy with sleep. Without windows, he had no idea what time it was but it felt late. Or early. “Ca va?”

Grantaire made a quiet noise that was neither agreement nor protest. He felt like he hadn’t slept at all and all of yesterday’s sadness was still stuck in his chest.

“Ca va?” he asked back.

Enjolras grunted, shifting to lay face to face with Grantaire and reaching to brush hair from his eyes. His eyes itched with tiredness.

“I feel awful,” he admitted softly.  

“Right there with you,” Grantaire mumbled.

Enjolras grimaced. “I hate not knowing how to fix this,” he said. “Any of this. All of this.”

“Me too,” Grantaire said, closing his eyes again and burying his face in Enjolras’ shoulder.

Enjolras cradled Grantaire’s head in his hand, gently massaging his fingertips against his scalp. There was so much he wanted to take back, so much he wished he could’ve done differently, so much he wanted to apologize for, but he kept that all to himself. He didn’t need to burden Grantaire with his regrets, with problems neither of them had solutions for. It wasn’t fair, especially not to him. He didn’t deserve any of this pain.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, reassuring himself as much as Grantaire. “One way or another.”

“I guess we will,” Grantaire said.

Eventually, he sighed and forced himself to break away from Enjolras, sitting up and scratching behind Ant’s ears when she came padding over to greet them.

“And I guess it’s breakfast time for you, ah?” he said softly. “Want some coffee, Enj? Something to eat?”

“Oh...” Enjolras sounded surprised, and as he sat up, he fished his phone out of his pocket to check the time. It had just gone six. “Ah, sure. I haven’t overstayed my welcome?”

Grantaire shook his head. “I was about to ask what time you have to get to work,” he said, breathing a laugh as he got up to get the coffee started. “What d’you fancy to eat? There’s… cereal, eggs… and that’s about it. Choose wisely.”

Enjolras laughed. “This whole unemployed thing may be doing nothing for my sanity, but it’s certainly helping with my sleep. I haven’t been up this early in weeks,” he said, standing and stretching his arms over his head. “Just coffee is fine, merci.”

“That’s good, non?” Grantaire said, glancing over his shoulder at him. “That you’re finally getting a decent amount of sleep.”

“I miss being busy,” Enjolras said, shrugging. “I miss working, doing something important and productive. I’ve been feeling pretty useless lately.”

“You’re already planning to jump right back into it,” Grantaire said, as lightly as he could. “Voila, coffee. Now, your turn, Ant.”

“Merci,” Enjolras said, accepting the coffee and taking a sip without bothering to wait for it to cool down. He didn’t feel comfortable continuing to talk about his work anymore, not with how dismissive Grantaire seemed, so he moved to sit back down on the bed with his coffee. He wondered if he shouldn’t have accepted it and just headed home.

Grantaire said beside Ant as she ate; the bed seemed like a dangerous place after the accidental intimacy of last night.

“I might call in sick today,” he admitted quietly, running his fingertips along the cat’s back. “I don’t know if I can face…”

Enjolras nodded. He could understand that; he’d quit his job after they broke up. “Take the time you need,” he said. “Sometimes it helps to just… let yourself feel it.”

Grantaire nodded. The sudden kindness in Enjolras’ voice had made his throat tight. He struggled to swallow, then breathed a shaky laugh.

“Maybe I’d be better off going in, keeping busy… Je ne sais pas,” he said.

“Neither one seemed to make much of a difference for me,” Enjolras said quietly behind another sip of coffee. “But you should do what you think you can.”

Grantaire glanced up at him, then looked down again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he said, just as quietly. “I know you didn’t want me there, but…”

Enjolras shook his head. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, ca va? I made a choice and it didn’t work out the way I thought it would, and that’s not something you have to be sorry for,” he said, and after a pause added, “I wanted you there. Every second of the day.”

Grantaire swallowed, nodding as he looked down. “I wanted to be there,” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry.” It was easier to look at Grantaire now that he was looking away. “For everything. I shouldn’t have left.”

“Me too,” Grantaire said, then shrugged. His voice was quiet and a little monotonous; he didn’t want to cry in front of Enjolras again. “What’s done is done, ah?”

“Non, I can’t accept that,” Enjolras said, and, god, he wished he could. He didn’t know how to suffocate the little flame of hope that burned so determinedly inside him. And he knew it was wrong to say this now, just hours after Étienne had left, but he believed that somewhere inside Grantaire, somewhere deep or maybe not very, he wanted them together too. “I can’t accept that this is all that’s left for us.”

Grantaire looked up at him. “What?” he said softly.

Enjolras kept his eyes on Grantaire’s, his heart beating hard against his ribcage. “I still see a future for us,” he said. “And I’ve tried to overlook it, and let go, but I can’t. I can’t do it.”

Grantaire stared at him for a long moment, feeling a kind of turmoil inside himself that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Then, he got to his feet and, without hesitating, crossed the tiny room and cupped Enjolras’ face in his hands and kissed him.

It took a few surprised moments for Enjolras to react. He’d expected an argument, rejection, tears, anything and everything except for a kiss. His heart stopped for several beats before picking up again, his brain froze until it screamed at him to do something, anything, take your chance, don’t think too hard about what this means. He reached to grip Grantaire’s shirt and stood too, pulling him close as he returned the kiss.

A quiet sound that was mostly a sob escaped Grantaire as he clung to Enjolras, eyes squeezed shut and arms wrapped tightly around him as he kissed him back.

Enjolras’ hands slid underneath Grantaire’s shirt, pressing against the small of his back because close was never close enough, not after months and months apart. He knew it was wrong, knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this kiss came from a place of hurt, but Enjolras couldn’t force himself to pull away.

Grantaire broke away with another little sob, hastily wiping his eyes, one hand pressed over his mouth. “Sorry,” he gasped. “I’m sorry.”

Enjolras shushed him, still holding him close but moving a hand to help wipe tears from his face. He could feel his heart in his throat, his head spinning.

“Don’t apologize,” he said softly. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Grantaire let his head fall against Enjolras’ shoulder, fresh tears just replacing the ones he’d wiped away. “I can’t do this,” he groaned.

“You can’t do what?” Enjolras asked, carding his fingers through his hair, still struggling to get his bearings after the kiss.

“This. Any of this.”

Enjolras hesitated, and he thought of easing away from Grantaire now, but he didn’t know if he could look him in the eye.

“What do you mean?”

“This. All this with him and with you,” Grantaire said, sounding increasingly panicked. “I can’t do it, Enjolras. I can’t do this.”

“Okay,” Enjolras said quickly, alarmed by Grantaire’s panic. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything, ca va? Nothing at all.”

Grantaire nodded, wiping his eyes. He didn’t know how he was ever going to face either of them again. It was all a mess and it all hurt. It was agony.

“Talk to me,” Enjolras said softly. He hated seeing Grantaire broken like this. “What’s going through your head?”

Grantaire shook his head, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “It just hurts,” he mumbled. “Everything. All of it.”

“Je sais,” Enjolras said, reaching to rest his hands on Grantaire’s hips. “What can I do?”

“I don’t know,” Grantaire whispered, letting his head fall forward to rest on Enjolras’ shoulder.

Enjolras tilted his head to kiss Grantaire’s temple. “Why don’t you go take a shower? I’ll take you out for breakfast.”

Grantaire nodded as he straightened up again, eyes lowered so he didn’t have to face Enjolras. He’d been better than this. For months and months and months, he’d been so much better than this.

“I’m not hungry,” he warned Enjolras quietly, though the prospect of a very hot shower was a good one, even if breakfast was not.

“You can watch me drink a few cups of coffee,” Enjolras said, understanding the loss of appetite well. He placed his finger under Grantaire’s chin to tilt his head up. “I’m sorry if I stomped all over our boundaries. Friends, ca va?”

Grantaire’s eyes flicked up to meet Enjolras’ for a second before he looked away again, pulling away to grab some clean clothes.

“Oui,” he said quietly. “Friends.”

Enjolras thought the guilt of this whole situation might kill him, and he had no idea how to absolve it.

“R, that doesn’t change what - how I feel about you, or us. I just… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Grantaire looked back over his shoulder at him, his stomach sinking his heart aching, then took a deep, shaky breath.

“Maybe you should just go,” he said softly.

There was that rejection Enjolras had expected earlier, and its late arrival didn’t make it hurt any less. “What?”

“Maybe you should just go,” Grantaire said again, voice a little more resolute, though he couldn’t lift his eyes from the floor.

“Okay,” Enjolras said quietly, his throat tight. “Are you sure? Company is… it’s good, at times like these, non?”

“I’m sure,” Grantaire said, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. He knew, if he looked up at Enjolras, if he even considered it, he’d fall all over again. He could feel panic roiling in his stomach as it was.

“Okay,” Enjolras said again. His face felt hot and his chest tight and he could only hope his legs would keep him upright on his way home. “Ca va, I’ll ah… I’ll see you around?”

Grantaire nodded, hastily wiping his eyes. Why wasn’t it getting any easier?

Enjolras took a step toward the door, and another, before turning back to face him, wishing he had the strength to just let go.

“What was that kiss, Grantaire? What did that mean?”

Grantaire shrugged silently, taking a step backward, away from him.

Enjolras chewed on the inside of his lip, blinking back tears.

“You don’t know?”

“I’m exhausted and… and I’m miserable and I...” Grantaire said, quickly wiping his eyes again. It was hard to get the words out. “I don’t know.”

Enjolras nodded, wiping an escaped tear from his face. “Ca va,” he said, instead of that’s not fair, because none of this was fair. The mixed signals he was getting from Grantaire, suffocating that flame of hope and stoking it again, and, on Enjolras’ part, daring to tell Grantaire what he’d been holding back on for months out of respect for his relationship just hours after his breakup with Étienne, which he’d caused.  

“Ca va,” he said again, instead of I’m sorry because he didn’t think the words held any weight anymore. With his hand on the doorknob he said, “Text me, ca va? When you’re up for it, or if you need anything. I’m still here.”

He didn’t look back before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Grantaire sank down onto the bed and burst into tears.

Enjolras went straight home, showered, resumed packing. He worried about Grantaire. He considered several times throughout the course of the day to go back over there and stay with him until he felt okay again, however long that might take. He worried he wouldn’t take care of himself, worried he might do something to compromise his sobriety, but he didn’t think Grantaire was that person anymore. Not since he’d gotten sober with Étienne.

He left Grantaire alone. Space usually did him well, when things got overwhelming like this. He left him for the rest of the day, and the following for good measure; Grantaire could have figured out just how angry he should be at Enjolras. He texted him early the following day.

[Text] Just checking in. Everything okay? - E x

Grantaire had called in sick two days in a row. Getting out of bed had seemed insurmountable. Jehan came round. He slept a lot. He cried more. He let it sink in. He showered, he ate, he crawled back into bed.

Enjolras was, admittedly, not the person he’d been keeping his phone beside him for. He didn’t know when or even if he should try to contact Étienne. The next meeting was still days away. He knew if he didn’t reply, Enjolras would come round.

[Text] everything is shit

[Text] i’m fine

He slung his phone onto the floor, startling Ant, and rolled over in bed.

Enjolras sunk onto his mattress, which sat on the floor now that the bed frame had been taken apart for the move. He’d expected Grantaire’s mood to be low, was relieved that at least he was being honest with him, but the guilt of what he’d done to him was all consuming.

[Text] Do you need anything? Have you eaten? - E

Grantaire sighed as his phone went off again. He couldn’t settle all the while there were unread messages from Enjolras.

[Text] no and yes there’s nothing for you to worry about

Enjolras worried nonetheless. He worried Grantaire wasn’t taking care of himself or Ant, worried that he’d slip up or just waste away in that tiny, dark flat. Most of all, he worried he’d ruined the friendship between them.

[Text] Do you want to get out of the house for a bit? We could take a walk or go for ice cream or something. - E

Grantaire couldn't think of anything he wanted to do less.

[Text] non

[Text] merci

[Text] i’m fine

Grantaire probably just didn’t want to leave his room, Enjolras reasoned. That wasn’t unusual for him.

[Text] Can I do anything at all?

[Text] invent time travel

Enjolras thought he could do that, in a way.

[Text] I’ll work on that.

[Text] good luck

Enjolras left it at that. He wouldn’t ask Grantaire where he could find Étienne, or for permission to go see him. He could find him on his own and ask for forgiveness later, if he needed to. He knew Grantaire had said no when he’d suggested it before but that was immediately after the breakup had happened, and Enjolras gathered he just hadn’t wanted to be alone. He wanted to go back to before the breakup, and Enjolras thought he could make that happen. He was nothing if not persuasive.

It didn’t take too long for Enjolras to figure out where he could find Étienne; he remembered what Grantaire had said about his uni and work and did a bit of research from there. He located the school he was doing his teacher training at, and, after a quick freshening up, headed out to face him.

Ideally, Enjolras would have called or texted him, asked to meet up at a mutually agreeable location, and prepared a thoughtful speech, but he felt this was time sensitive.

After signing in at the front office and sweet talking the receptionist at the counter, he got Étienne’s room number and directions on how to navigate the school halls to find him. He realized, much too late as he was knocking on the door, just how insane it was that he’d shown up at his ex-boyfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s work to try to get them back together.

The day hadn’t really started yet for Étienne. The school had broken up for the summer holidays, but lots of the teachers were still in working, and his work placement there would continue for the next few weeks. He was taking down old displays in his classroom and scarcely paused at the knock at the door.

“Yeah?” he called out.

Enjolras took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and stepped inside the classroom, shutting the door behind him before he could chicken out.

“Étienne, hi,” he said, staying close by the door.

Étienne’s stomach dropped at the sound of that voice. He looked over sharply, already crossing the room toward Enjolras. “What’s happened?” he asked. “Where’s Rémi? Is he alright?”

“He’s home, he’s fine,” Enjolras said quickly. “I mean, he’s, well… I came here to talk to you. About him. Him and you. I won’t take more than five minutes of your time. Three, if I talk fast.”

Étienne stared at him. “You can’t be serious,” he said faintly. “Come on, Enjolras, this isn’t… I’m at work. You shouldn’t even be here.”

“I know,” Enjolras said, taking a step forward, his hands clasped together in a plea. “I know, I’m sorry, I just need you to hear me out, just for a moment. For him.”

“I understand that everyone’s upset,” Étienne said, expression deeply troubled. “But this is so inappropriate, Enjolras. I’m at work. You’re Rémi’s ex-fiancé.” He paused, looking helplessly at Enjolras before closing his eyes for a moment. “Look, if you’re really going to insist on this, you’re going to have to wait until I finish here. I should be out about midday and there’s a café on the corner, just down the road.”

Enjolras opened his mouth, ready to argue his case against Étienne’s wishes, but stopped himself. He hadn’t thought he’d get this far, Étienne agreeing to talk to him; he had to take that opportunity even if he had to wait a little while longer for it.

“Ca va,” he said, checking the time on his wristwatch. “Ca va, merci. Merci, merci, I’ll meet you there.”

Étienne nodded, then got to his feet with a sigh. “I’ll walk you out,” he said, holding the door to his classroom open for Enjolras. “Even if the kids aren’t in, you’re not supposed to wander around a school unaccompanied without a background check.”

“You should talk to your front desk, then,” Enjolras said, following Étienne out. “A little flattery seems to go a long way there. And my background is clean, for the record.”

“You shouldn’t have been trying to get in here in the first place,” Étienne pointed out.

Enjolras shrugged. “I don’t have your phone number.”

“The receptionist could have called through for me.”

“I’m more of a face to face kind of guy. You wouldn’t have come to see me.”

Étienne glanced over at him. “You’re probably right there,” he admitted.

“Je sais,” Enjolras said, shrugging again. “I’m sorry for ambushing you at work; I wouldn’t do something like this if it wasn’t important.”

Étienne was silent for a moment, then nodded. That was maybe the only thing he and the other man had in common; Rémi Grantaire was important to both of them.

They reached the main doors and Étienne unlocked them using his ID badge.

“Voila,” he said. “See you at midday.”

“See you then,” Enjolras said, and with a single nod, took his leave.

And as he headed off campus and down the street to the little café on the corner, all of the nerves he’d been repressing rose up to quicken his step and shake his hands, and he tried to drown them in cups of coffee as he waited, tried to quiet them enough to use that time to think of something eloquent and profound to say to convince Étienne he could fix this mess he’d made.

Étienne threw himself into his work and then looked up at the clock and let a wave of dread wash over him as he realised it was just about time to pack up and head to the café. He would rather have gone straight to Rémi now, to talk things through directly with him, but he’d told Enjolras he would meet him and, like Enjolras had said, they didn’t have each other’s numbers. There was no backing out.

He arrived at the café a few minutes early but, of course, the other man was already there. He sighed and ordered a tea before heading over to join him at his table.

“Salut,” he said, as lightly as he could.

Enjolras had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Étienne arrive, not until he appeared at the table.

“Sit, please,” he said, moving his two empty mugs out of the way. “I didn’t know if you’d actually show up.”

“I said I would,” Étienne said simply, sliding into his seat and holding his mug of tea between his hands. “You’ve been here all morning?”

“Ah, oui, I have,” Enjolras said, breathing a laugh. “There were a few coffees and a danish before this. Can I get you something? Lunch?”

“Non, non, merci. Don’t worry about it,” Étienne said. It was bad enough they were meeting like this anyway. He looked at Enjolras for a moment longer. “So, Rémi isn’t with you, which means he doesn’t know you’re here.”

Enjolras’ stomach twisted with guilt. He shook his head. “I haven’t seen him since, tu sais… I don’t think he’s left his flat,” he said. “He wouldn’t have given me permission to come see you like this.”

“Je sais,” Étienne said quietly. “So… what did you want to…?”

Enjolras took a steadying breath, his heart thudding against his chest. “I owe you an apology,” he said. “For how selfish and disrespectful I’ve been. I crossed a line without giving any thought to you or your relationship and I am so, so sorry for that. It won’t happen again.”

Étienne nodded, silent as he took that in. It didn’t change what had happened - didn’t make it any more understandable, didn’t make it hurt less - but it took guts to come out and apologise like that.

“I appreciate that,” he said.

“He wasn’t encouraging me, he didn’t reciprocate,” Enjolras said, finding it difficult to hold Étienne’s gaze. “He probably would have slapped me if he’d gotten another moment. You need to know it was just me, this isn’t what he wants.”

Étienne’s gaze grew sad. He looked down at his untouched tea. “Not to be a walking, talking cliché here, but… I’ve seen the way he looks at you. At the wedding, at the exhibition, at his flat. And he… you’re not stupid, Enjolras. You wouldn’t have done something like that without being encouraged in some way - even if he didn’t mean to.”

“This isn’t what he wants,” Enjolras repeated, his brow drawing together in a deep frown. “It was just… it was just coffee, and old habits. We were together for a long time, tu sais, but it’s over and he’s moved on and you… you’re good for him. You make him happy. That’s what he wants and that’s what I want for him, and I’m not going to get in the way. I swear to you I won’t get in the way again. You just have to go talk to him.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” Étienne said. “I thought I made that clear.”

“Maybe not right now,” Enjolras said. “But in a few days, when you’ve had time to clear your head. You want to be with him, don’t you? I know that’s what he wants.”

“What I want, what Rémi wants… It’s not necessarily what’s best for both of us,” Étienne said gently. “I said I’d see him at the next meeting and I think that’s the best place to go from now.”

Enjolras nodded. “That sounds fair,” he said softly. He couldn’t force anything; he’d already overstepped the boundaries. “You hear me when I say I’m out, right? I mean it.”

Étienne looked at him for a long moment. “I believe you believe you mean it,” he said softly.

“I mean it. I... I’m starting a new business, my own firm,” Enjolras said, faltering now. “I’m moving into my own place, I’m working things out with my parents. There’s someone… I’m moving on. I’m rebuilding. I’m committed to being his friend, that’s it.”

Étienne nodded and finally took a sip of his tea. It was still a little too hot.

“Those are all really great intentions,” he said.

“Don’t let me be the reason you don’t take him back,” Enjolras said, leaning forward. “I need you to believe me. He didn’t do anything wrong here.”

Étienne leaned back. “I’m not angry with him,” he said wearily. “We’re just not in the same place, or even the right place, right now; this isn’t the basis for a healthy relationship. We owe it to ourselves to give it time and take it slow.”

Enjolras sighed. He could appreciate how levelheaded Étienne was, how steady. Grantaire needed someone like that, not rash and reckless. He felt satisfied that he was still talking about Grantaire as an us, even as much as it hurt him to hear it.

“Ca va,” he said. “Well… thank you for hearing me out.”

Étienne nodded. “Of course,” he said. “Sorry to have wasted your time.” He looked down at his tea again and the differences between him and the man sitting in front of him seemed more obvious than ever. “I’d love to be the sort of guy who’d hear you out, then go dashing back to him right away, but… I just think… it’s not worth jeopardising his well-being. If we get back together, we get back together. If we don’t, we don’t. That’s life sometimes. Keeping him healthy is more important.”

“I’m not saying right away,” Enjolras said stubbornly. “I don’t understand how you can be so cavalier about this.”

Étienne looked up at him again. “You’re not listening to me,” he said evenly. “I’m going to give it time and then see we where go from here.”

“He hasn’t left his flat,” Enjolras said, his frown setting in again. “He’s miserable. You could just text him, something as simple as that. Just let him know you’re still here.”

“He has friends,” Étienne said. “Tons of friends, any of whom would be over there in a heartbeat if you asked them to be. Jehan’s probably already with him. It’s best for me to give him some space, let him think things through. You know how it can confuse things to be there when you… To be there, trying to be a friend, when you’re not.”

“I didn’t get much of an adjustment period,” Enjolras said, heat prickling his face. “I’m trying to be his friend here.”

Étienne swallowed, shaking his head. “That wasn’t- I didn’t mean to…” He held his hands up. “I don’t know what happened between you two. I wasn’t trying to make a jab at you or anything like that. All I’m saying is, I don’t want to make things worse and I think that the right thing to do here is to let his friends be there for him right now, not me.”

Enjolras softened, but not much. “That’s fine,” he said, quieter now. “I get it. Just don’t leave him hanging. Don’t just leave him.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Étienne said. “Like I said, I’ll see him at the next meeting, whatever happens.” He hesitated, taking another sip of his tea to buy himself a few moments. “You shouldn’t just leave him either. In case you were considering it. You obviously mean a lot to him still.”

Enjolras stared down at the table between them, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. “That doesn’t mean I’ve been good for him.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be good for him going forward.”

“You’ve done far better for him than I ever have,” Enjolras said. “You understand him better. You know what he’s been through.”

“It’s not a competition,” Étienne said gently, leaning forward a little. “There isn’t going to be a winner here. Above anything else, we both just want what’s best for Rémi, non?”

“You’re right,” Enjolras said, sitting up with a small shake of his head. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be dumping this on you, and you don’t need to try to… hey, did he introduce himself to you as Rémi?”

Étienne nodded, slightly thrown by the question. “Well, we met at… t’sais, an AA meeting,” he said. “You know how the whole introduction thing goes there, oui? It’s like it is in the movies.”

“I don’t watch movies,” Enjolras said, shaking his head. “I didn’t know his first name for years.”

“Oh, well, you all call him R, don’t you?”

“It’s a play on Grantaire,” Enjolras said, cracking his first smile. “Grand R.”

Étienne breathed a laugh. “He never told me that,” he said.

“That’s surprising,” Enjolras said. “He’s usually very proud of his puns.”

“Dieu, don’t I know it,” Étienne said, laughing genuinely now. “But, I mean, I only really met everyone recently and… He’s been Rémi to me for months and months.”

“Non, je sais,” Enjolras said, waving his hand. “It’s just different. Like he’s someone else, or… you know how you have a childhood nickname and you end up abandoning it as you get older for the adult phase of your life? It’s like that. He’s in a new phase.”

Étienne nodded, proud and sad all at once. “Maybe he deliberately never corrected me,” he said with a light shrug. “He’s… He’s been trying so hard to be someone he can be proud of. Anyway… I… We shouldn’t be talking about him like this, behind his back.”

“I should go anyway,” Enjolras said, his face flushed. “I’ve taken up too much of your time.”

“You’re fine,” Étienne said easily. “It’s helped to clear some things up, non?”

“Honestly, I don’t really know,” Enjolras said, breathing a laugh. “But, ah… thanks, anyway.”

Étienne nodded, looking a little crestfallen. “Here, let’s swap numbers. Call, if you need to or… Je ne sais pas. We’ll look out for him between us.”

“Oh, sure,” Enjolras said, looking surprised as he fished his phone out of his pocket. “Only if you want to, ca va? And not because you feel obligated or anything. I’m definitely not, ah… everyone’s cup of tea.”

Étienne smiled as they swapped phones. “Merci,” he said. He looked up at Enjolras. “I just want him to be happy, t’sais? Whatever it takes.”

Enjolras smiled too. “I think that’s one thing we can both agree on.”

Étienne reached across the table to clasp his hand for a moment. “I’ll see you around, Enjolras,” he said, getting to his feet.

Enjolras remained seated. “Take care of yourself, Étienne.”

“You too,” Étienne said, nodding a goodbye before turning to leave.

[reddie-set-goooo]

This’ll Be Fun

Read here on AO3

Summary for Chapter 4:

He couldn’t figure out why Richie seemed to be staring at his legs so intently. Also, why did Richie look so upset about them?

Author’s note: I realized I forgot to upload this 4th chapter when I finished it the other day, so Chapter 5 will also be up in the next few minutes!

Author’s note UPDATE: Wow so I kinda posted the Chapter 5 under this originally, but it’s all fixed now, and this is officially the Chapter 4 story below!!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 - The Bonfire (Part 2)

7:30 PM – Monday Night

 Richie walked up to the group centered around the fire, his feet dragging along the ground, as soon as he entered the light of the fire everyone turned to him and he put on his normal, happy face.

 He tried to keep his attention away from Eddie’s arm draped across his “friend’s” shoulder. A small smile crept onto Eddie’s face when his eyes met Richie’s and Richie felt his stomach erupt into butterflies. He cursed himself, how could this guy already be causing him to feel like this. He decided that despite Eddie having a boyfriend, he could still flirt with him, he would never over step his boundaries, but Eddie was cute and Richie wouldn’t be able to not flirt with him if he tried.

 “Hey there Eds, glad you could make it,” Richie placed the stack of wood he’d been carrying into the pile with the others. He hid his face from the others behind his curls as he bent down, trying to hide his look of disappointment.

 Feigning casualty Richie stood back up and rolled his shoulders back, and leaned into Stan, “So, Eddie, this your bo-“ He was cut off by Bev yelling out, “BEN! You made it!” She ran out of the circle they were standing in and jumped into his awaiting arms.

 Everyone looked on with amused smiles, but while everyone’s attention was on Bev and Ben, Richie watched Eddie. He watched as Eddie dropped his arm from around his “friend’s” shoulders and waited for him to grab his hand. But they didn’t, instead their hands just swayed at their respective sides. Richie kept waiting for it to happen, but instead Eddie even took a slight side step away from his friend. Richie didn’t understand it.

 Bev and Ben made their way back to the circle after Ben had gently put Bev back down from the bridal carry she had jumped in to. See, they were holding hands, that’s what couples did right? Hold hands? Not that Richie would know from personal experience. Yea, he’d kissed people before, he had some experience in that, but actually being in a committed relationship? Richie hadn’t found anybody that made him feel like he wanted that yet. Eddie was the first guy in two years to really catch Richie’s attention.

 Once everyone was back in the circle Bev turned to the new guy and said, “So, your Eddie’s friend, what’s your name, I’m Bev, and this is Ben. Over there is Mike and then there’s Richie and Stan.” She motioned to each one of them going around the circle so he knew which name matched which face. Richie felt like he might have had a class or two with this kid over the last three years in high school, but he couldn’t be sure.

 “Uh, hi, I’m B-b-b-bill,” he stuttered out and immediately looked ashamed and turned his face to the ground. Richie saw Eddie reach out and lightly grip the back of Bill’s forearm as reassurance and Richie felt his stomach drop.

 “Well, hey Bill, it’s nice to meet you, glad you could join us tonight,” Mike said from his end of the circle. He always had a way of making people feel comfortable, Richie envied it. Richie acted like he was comfortable around everyone, and sometimes that made a person relax around him. Most of the time though it was too abrasive for people, and they tended to stay away from him and his boisterous personality. He worried sometimes that Stan and them would even find him too much one day and cut their losses and say goodbye, but he reassured himself when he had these thoughts that they loved him and would never do that to him.

 Eddie’s hand was still on Bill’s arm and he was giving Bill a questioning glance, asking him something with his eyes that Richie couldn’t translate. Bill just met his eyes and with a slight nod Eddie pulled his hand back. It all only took about a second, but with the amount of attention Richie was giving them, it felt like he’d just watched a full episode of some melodrama.

 Bill looked back up at the group then with a reaffirmed smile on his face, put there by whatever Eddie had conveyed to him no doubt, and said, “Yea, thanks for letting me c-come. Normally it’s just me and Eddie, so it’s nice to meet new people.” Eddie was giving Bill a look that resembled pride and gave him a slight pat on the shoulder. Richie hated every second of it.

 “Hey Stan, can you come with me for a sec, I think we could still use a tad more wood for the bonfire tonight,” Richie stated while turning briskly away from the fire, simultaneously gripping Stan’s wrist and pulling him along.

 “Dude, I think we have eno-“ Stan was silenced by the look that Richie gave him. The look saying, Man, shut the fuck up and walk with me. I Need to talk to you. Stan understood and followed behind Richie dutifully.

 Richie didn’t relinquish his grip on Stan’s wrist until they were out of eye sight around the bend in the path. Once he did Stan started to massage some feeling back into his fingers because of how tight Richie had been holding on.

 “Richie, what the hell man, what’s up?” Stan reached out and pulled on Richie’s arm to stop him from stalking toward the barn farther.

 Richie spun around to Stan, his face red and flustered, “He has a boyfriend, Stan! A boyfriend!”

 Stan considered this for a moment while looking over his shoulder to where the bonfire was, even though he couldn’t see it. “How do you know they’re dating? They could just be good friends, have you considered that?”

 Richie hadn’t. He’d seen Eddie’s arm around Bill and immediately jumped to the worst conclusion his mind could think of. But, come on, Eddie was the cutest thing on two legs, how could Bill not be interested in him. Richie put his hands on the back of his head as he thought it over.

 “Well, what about the arm around Bill’s shoulder, hmm? Or all the reassuring touches on his arm, or their silent conversations they were having with their eyes, that seems pretty damn intimate to me Stan.”

 Stan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, Richie had seen this face many times before, it was one he was well acquainted with. “Richie, none of those things really scream that they’re dating. Hell, you’ve done some of those things with us, just chill out and be yourself.”

 “What do I do, chill out or be myself, I can’t do both,” Richie said completely serious and held his hands out, palms up in question, waiting for Stan to answer. Stan just tipped his head to the side and closed his eyes, like he was asking God how he had come to be put in this position, and just turned on his heel and walked back towards the fire.

 Richie stood there for a moment watching Stan as he walked away and then called out after him, “Stan? Stan, which one do I do? Stanley?!” He just kept walking though and Richie sighed and jogged to catch back up.

 8:30 PM – Monday Night

 Eddie and Bill had taken a seat on the log next to the fire after Richie and Stan had run off. Well, more like Richie ran off and Stan got dragged along. Based on his expression though, Eddie assumed that this had happened to Stan on more than one occasion.

 The rest of the group who were left, Ben, Bev, and Mike, struck up a conversation about some poetry that Ben had been working on. Bev thought it was beautiful and Mike was giving him constructive criticism that Ben seemed to be accepting earnestly.

 Eddie bumped his knee against Bill’s to get his attention, “So, what’s the game plan for mission: talk to Stan tonight?”

 Bill blushed and ducked his head slightly, “Honestly I have n-no idea, what if I j-just stutter the whole time?” Bill looked at Eddie with worried eyes.

 Eddie rubbed the back of Bill’s shoulder reassuringly, “Bill, there’s so much more to you than just a stutter, you just need to show him that, and if he can’t see past your stutter than fuck him man.”

 Bill let out a breath and nodded his head like he was psyching himself up. “Yea, you’re right, totally. S-so, how should I start the conversation th-though?”

 Eddie considered that for a moment before coming up with something, “Well, he seems to be hanging out with Richie the most, so when they get back from getting more firewood, we’ll make our way over to the two of them casually, and when you’re feeling comfortable, you give me a signal and I find a way to get me and Richie somewhere else so you get some alone time talking with Stan, sound like a plan?”

 Bill smiled widely, “Yea, that works for me,” and then he smiled even wider for not stuttering.

 Eddie slapped him on the shoulder and was about to say something else when Bill’s attention was drawn to something over Eddie’s shoulder. He turned around on his seat and saw Stan coming back into the clearing shaking his head and pulling his hand up to the bridge of his nose. Eddie wondered what could have happened to cause this reaction. Then he noticed that Stan didn’t have any firewood, and then he noticed that Stan didn’t have a Richie with him anymore either. Just as he realized this, Richie came running back into the clearing calling out Stan’s name. He didn’t have firewood either. Weird.

 They had just reentered the circle when Mike spoke up and said what Eddie was thinking, “So, uh, guys, you get that firewood or what?” Mike started laughing and then Ben and Bev joined in. Richie looked confused for a moment before he seemed to have a light bulb go off.

 “Oh right, well we were almost to the barn and Stan was just complaining and complaining, really just going on about how we didn’t need any more wood, and I mean how could we, I have plenty right here,” and made a crude gesture towards his crotch that earned him eye rolls around the circle and two beep beep Richies, but he seemed unfazed and continued, “so I conceded and we turned around to come back, I mean, how can you say no to a face like that?” Richie put both his hands on either one of Stan’s cheeks, effectively framing his face, while Stan looked wholly unamused by Richie’s antics. At least he was a good sport about it Eddie thought, though one would have to be to be best friends with Richie.

 This earned several laughs from around the circle, including one from Eddie, and as soon as he had started laughing Richie looked over to him with a huge smile cracking across his face. He pulled his hands away from Stan and the two of them made their way towards Eddie and Bill. Turns out Eddie and Bill wouldn’t even have to get up to start the first phase of mission: talk to Stan. Eddie knocked his knee into Bill’s again to give him a heads up they were walking over in case he hadn’t seen on his own. By the way Bill knocked his knee back against Eddie’s he had noticed. Eddie was also noticing how Richie seemed to be staring at his legs.

 Eddie wondered if he’d forgotten about a bruise he might have on his shin or maybe a Band-AId from a cut his mom had insisted on treating like a battle wound. He looked down for a moment inspecting his legs for something wrong but found none. He couldn’t figure out why Richie seemed to be staring at his legs so intently. Also, why did Richie look so upset about them?

As they walked up to him and Bill, Eddie wondered frantically what he should say, he hadn’t thought far enough ahead to what their conversation should actually be about. He just had a general game plan. What if they walked over and just stood there awkwardly waiting for Eddie to say something? He wouldn’t know what to do! Fuck. He was freaking out.

“So, Eddie, how’d you like your first day on the job?” Stan said as he neared the log. Thank god. The only thing that had come to Eddie’s mind to talk about was the super germ his mom had mentioned earlier that night, not the best casual conversation topic.

 “Yea it was good, training was uh,” he paused as he felt Richie’s eyes boring into him while Eddie was answering Stan, and laughed nervously, “training was very interesting.”

 “Yea, I heard you got the third degree today, starting off on ticket sales …” Stan shuddered, “skeeves me out just thinking about it.”

 Eddie glanced at Richie, who seemed to be avoiding looking at Eddie for the first time that night, and then Eddie looked back to Stan, confused.

 “Where do most people start off?” Eddie questioned, wondering why he’d gotten a different training than others according to Stan.

 “We usually start on garbage pickup, it sounds worse, but its super easy work and you get to be outside instead of in one of those cramped booths, also you don’t have to talk to any customers on your first day. It’s a good way to learn the layout of the park as well.” Eddie grew even more confused, why would Richie tell Eddie that he trained everyone one way when Stan was telling him the complete opposite.

 Eddie looked to Richie again who was looking at Eddie sheepishly through his bangs. When he noticed Eddie looking though, he laughed over zealously and punched Stan in the shoulder, “Stan just likes that job cause it’s the only thing he’s good at, picking up garbage on the job and in relationships. Am I right Stanny boy?”

 Stan pushed Richie back and laughed half-heartedly, “Yea, yea Richie, yack it up, at least I’ve even had a boyfriend before.”

 Eddie and Bill both started at that, in one sentence Stan had pretty much confirmed that he and Richie were both gay, and both on the market. Eddie shook it off, but Bill seemed to have a renewed spark of interest in the conversation and turned pointedly to Eddie for a moment. Eddie didn’t get it at first until Bill bumped his elbow into Eddie’s and unmistakably raised his eyebrows at him again. Eddie understood this time.

 Eddie cleared his throat and looked behind Richie and Stan to the fire and said, “Hey Richie, that fire is looking kind of low actually, I think getting more wood would be a good idea after all. Could you show me where the wood pile is?” He looked expectantly up at Richie who paused for a moment looking at Stan nervously before regaining composure.

 “Right this way Eds my boy,” and made a sweeping gesture towards the barn and held his hand out for Eddie to grab to help him up.

 Eddie grabbed it cautiously and stood to follow Richie into the dark, leaving Bill behind to have a chance with Stan. Eddie glanced back over his shoulder and gave Bill a quick wink as good luck to which Bill only rolled his eyes.

 Eddie realized Richie was still holding his hand, pulling him forward, Eddie’s heart rate picked up. Oh no.

[gerinurse]

First world problems.....

I feel as if suddenly life has hit a few stumbling blocks. I know that many of them are minor and honestly they truly are first world problems but added together they start to increase my stress levels. That is never good for me as then the anxiety attacks kick in.

Why does the hot tub always break down in the winter? The circulation pump quit so we had to take the deck which is covered in snow apart, in order to get at the pumps etc on the tub. They cant come and actually replace it until Monday so I now have a large amount of stagnant water just sitting there. Thank heavens it’s not too cold yet as if it was below -15 degrees Celsius we would have to worry about the piping freezing. Meanwhile once it’s fixed we can’t empty and refill it in the cold weather so it’s going to be days of filtering and tons of shock and bromine to get the water clean enough to use. I love the hot tub but sometimes it’s a serious pain in the ass. 😏

Last time I went for a massage the therapist tried to release my IT band on my left leg. The minute she got it into position for release my calf started to spasm and took forever to stop. Now it is so achy and is driving me insane. It’s like having a chronic toothache I swear. I thinks some of it is my fibromyalgia acting up as the pain is bilateral but it’s worse on the left. 😔

Friday was my director of cares last day of work. Found out suddenly that she had been offered and accepted a job at our sister building which is larger. It’s more money and a challenge for her. I am stressing as she was my lifeline and sanity between my adminstator and I. I know that he is just going to sit on the whole thing and not even bother to look for a replacement before well into the new year as he knows that I can do the job. Trouble is he won’t replace me temporarily while I carry that load so I’m going to be doing two jobs. F#@king lovely! He doesn’t show up for work half the time and I’m stuck with zero support. Just great! Thank god I go on vacation the middle of December because I think I’m going to need it. 🙄

Hubby still isn’t back at work and now he’s getting antsy about it. He’s starting to look for work elsewhere which is really not a good thing. He loves pipe fitting and would hate doing a repetitive job day after day. I keep telling him not to worry and to just sit and wait. We can afford for him to not work for a couple more months. He’s tired of sitting though and although I don’t blame him, I know he’s going to be unhappy if he does find a job. 😔

At least the gym is going well and I have a good routine. I’m also into a routine of food prep on the weekends which is awesome. I am not sure how I’d be holding up right now without my daily gym trips. 😊

@imladris14

[twinklefaerie12]

Azriel Fan Fiction Chapter 10

 (So sorry it’s shorter than the last)

Azriel finished drawing the bath, walking to the doorway and smiled. He watched her sitting on the bed, admiring her beauty in the soft fae light. She was his mate, nothing else in the world made him more happy than knowing that. Knowing she accepted the bond was more than he could have ever asked for. 

        He cleared his throat, her head turning as he stood in the doorway. "The bath is ready for you." He said giving her a smile. 

        Amara hugged her arms gently, smiling at him as she stood from the bed and walked over to him. Pushing up onto her tip toes, she kissed his cheek gently. "Thank you," She mumbled and gave him a quick hug, breathing in his scent. 

        She hadn't even realized how much she had missed his familiar smell of the mountains. How the scent had lingered on her and she hadn't even known. 

        Azriel chuckled, a low and rumbling sound, his arms wrapping around her shoulders drawing her closer. His fingers slipped trough her hair, ignoring the stinging in his muscles as he lifted up his arm. He didn't care, he just wanted to hold her. 

        Amara gently pulled away, looking up at him with a blush creeping up to her cheeks. "Join me in the bath?" She asked. 

        The request made Azriel's lips turn up into a grin and he nodded. "As you wish." 

        His arms slipped up under her and he pulled her up into his arms, like the night he took her flying. The pain was numbed as he focused solely on her. The smile that erupted onto her lips and the laugh that slipped from them. 

        Amara let him carry her into the bathroom, blushing a deep crimson. She hadn't realized bathing together meant him seeing her body naked. 'You're naked when you bathe dumbass' she thought to herself and she heard Azriel chuckle. 

        "Would you prefer we bathe separately?" His voice low and sultry, his breath hot against her ear making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Shivers went down her spine as she shook her head. 

        Azriel simply chuckled, placing her down onto the ground and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I can look away if you want me to." He said gently just wanting her to be comfortable. 

        "No," She said, her breath thin as she looked up at him. "I want you to watch."

        Azriel's cheeks turned crimson at that, but his lips stayed curved in a smirk. "As you wish." He said in a whisper that had her legs squeezing together. 

        Amara let her lips curve up into a smirk, stepping away from him a little bit. She pulled off the thin shirt that she had been wearing, revealing her plump breasts. 

        Azriel stood back against the bathroom wall, watching her intently. His eyes scanned her exposed torso, his cheeks burning. 

        Amara smirked, "Are you blushing?" She teased and Azriel let out a small growl. "If you don't hurry the bathwater will turn cold and I'll have to punish you for it."

        Damn him, kinky bastard. 

        A small chuckle left her lips as she fully undressed and waited for him to do the same. "Your turn sweet heart." Slipping into the tub, sighing as the still warm water hit her skin. 

        Azriel efficiently slipped out of the single pair of pants he had been wearing. Amara stared at him, her eyes taking in his 'wingspan' and took in a hard gulp. Azriel smirked, walking over to the tub and climbed in behind her. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her back towards him, his impressive length pressed up against her back making her gasp. 

        She wished they both weren't so injured so she could take a bit more time to appreciate his length. Her cheeks heated, trying to not think about the feeling of him pressed up against her when she felt his breath on her ear. 

        "Next time," He said and picked up the jar of pine scented soap placed in a fine bottle. He placed a small amount onto a rag, dipping it into the water then brushed it over her body. 

        "I didn't know you bought fancy soaps." She said, sighing when his hands lightly massaged her sore muscles in her back with the soapy rag. 

        "I enjoy smelling nice, plus the pine only comes in fancy bottles." He shrugged, giving her shoulders light kisses. 

        Amara giggled softly, shutting her eyes and leaned back into his hands. Her head leaned back into his shoulder, looking up at the ceiling. "Azriel?" She asked softly, her eyes focused on a small shadow as the fae light flickered in the bathroom. 

        "What is it?" He asked, his hands moving up to wash off her shoulders and her arms, making sure he was careful of the light bruises. 

        "What were you thinking, when I was blacked out?" She asked curiously. She knew Feyre and Rhys had been watching over her, worried about her. But what had Azriel been doing? Had he even been awake during that time?

        Azriel's hands stilled on her shoulders, a sigh slipping from his lips as he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. "I wasn't awake for most of it. The explosion, or blast, had me knocked out for a number of hours at the same time you were. When I woke up I asked where you were, if you were okay. I was so worried you had gotten injured because I hadn't been there to protect you.

        "I pushed past Rhys who insisted I stay into bed and hunted you down, looking through every room until I found you. The relief I felt when I saw you were alive was," he sighed, "I'd never felt such fear like that in my life." His voice was softer, quiet that time. 

        "I sat by your bedside, holding your hand and tugging on the bond hoping you would wake up and come back to me. I thought you would leave me, and the pain I felt knowing I could have done more to protect you was soul crushing."

        Amara's lip wobbled and she bit down on it to hold in her tears that started to form and sting her eyes. 

        "After sun set, far after sun set Feyre had dragged me back to my own room to speak with Cassian and Mor about the explosion but I couldn't think clearly. Not with you possibly dying in the other room. So they sent me to bed but I didn't sleep until you woke up and walked through that door."

        Amara twisted in his arms, wrapping her legs around his hips and pulled him into a tight hug. She buried her face into his neck. "I don't deserve you," She whispered into his skin. Azriel blinked in shock, tilting her head up to face him, her eyes glossy with tears. "If I don't get to say it, neither do you." His lips curved into a gentle smile, then found their way to hers. 

        She didn't deserve him, no matter how many times he might tell her otherwise he was too good for her. He was everything a woman should want in a man and she hadn't done anything special to earn him as her mate. 

        Azriel wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his chest giving her a loving kiss. He reluctantly pulled away for air, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. "You are everything I want and more Amara." He said softly looking up into her enchanting eyes. 

        Amara blushed softly, pressing her forehead against his and sighed. Azriel's hands gently rubbed up and down her lower back, grazing over a few bruises that annoyed her and old scars she hated. His callused fingers grazed her scared skin while his lips kissed both of her cheeks. 

        She looked down at him, her fingers slipping through his dark hair, twisting the longer strands around her finger. She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his lips. This kiss slow and passionate, the opposite of their first. Her fingers brushed through his hair as his hands rested on her hips, his thumb rubbing the untouched skin there generously. 

        The kiss slowly began faster, deeper and Amara grabbed his hair in fistfuls. His arms fully wrapped around her back, pressing her closer to his chest forcing her breasts against his bandaged chest. Her cheeks burned and she felt a warmth between her legs. She gasped for breath as she felt him start to press harder against her as she sat in his lap. 

        Azriel slowly pulled away before he went too far, looking up into her eyes that begged for more. They were both panting, cheeks a deep crimson. "Not now," He said, his voice thin and husky. "I want you fully recovered before I take you." It almost came out as a growl which only made that warmth grow. 

        But, she let him finish washing off her body, the sexual tension between them hard to ignore as they washed each other then dried off. 

        Amara wrapped a towel around her, twisting her hair over her shoulder as she walked back out and went over to his wardrobe. 

        Azriel has to think of every single moment in his life that brought him unhappiness, disgust, anything at all the rid his very noticeable erect length. He wrapped a towel around his waist, splashing his face with the now cold bath water before he drained the tub and walked back into the bedroom. His problem was not better, not by much at least as he watched her curiously. 

        "Do you need me to fetch any clothes for you from your room?" He asked, watching her back as she pulled out an old shirt of his and dropped the towel around her body. 

        Damnit. 

        He had to look away quickly, gripping the towel around his waist so it wouldn't fall off or open and he stalked into the small closet to dress. He found a loose pair of sleeping pants and pulled them on, staring at the wall to try and fix his 'Issue' again. 

        Amara pulled his shirt over her head, turning to see him staring intently into the closet and she raised a brow. "Find something of interest in there?" She asked, going over to climb into the bed and grinned when he turned around. 

        "If you need to take care of that you can." She teased and Azriel walked out of the closet rolling his eyes. "If you were recovered we wouldn't be having this problem now would we?"

        Amara giggled, curling up under the large, fluffy sheets of Azriel's bed as he climbed in beside her. He smiled, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, resting his head on top of hers against the pillows. 

        "Get some rest, we both need it." He said gently, brushing his fingers through her hair again as he looked down at her. 

She nodded, curling up into his chest. Her eyes slowly shut, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck and his own eyes shut. The fae light died out, leaving only the moonlight of the night seeping into the room. His hand slowed in her hair, falling into a deep sleep.

       Amara smiled into his neck, sleeping in the arms of her mate for the rest of the night, happier than she had ever been. 

[artandteaandstuff-blog]

Strange Places - Part 4

Summary: Emma Swan is only just getting to grips with the whole fairy-tale thing, let alone the villains. She’s already defeated the Evil Queen. But the Evil Queen’s mother is a new story entirely. Not to mention Captain Hook. She will do whatever she has to do to take him out. Until one day she wakes up in an entirely different bed, only to find out she’s married to him. | Captain Swan.

Author’s Notes: I’d like to say a special thank you to @irishswanff for her fabulous beta duties! 

Tagging a few people who are reading! (I think) If you want to be taken off this list or added to it, please let me know!

@pottlock @killian_whump @silmarilswan @katromine @like-waves-on-the-beach@the-selfish-heart @galadriel26 @elaine-spades@blackwidownat2814 @spartanguard @lifeismadeup-ofmoments @superchocovian @linda8084 @georgianablythe16  @revanmeetra87

FF.NET

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Elizabeth

Emma woke up in her own bed and for the first time, everything was normal. She turned into the pillow and groaned. A happy groan. She knew that when she opened her eyes, everything would have just been a dream. But when she did open her eyes, the first thing they saw was the boxes towered around her bed, and the bedcovers which were nothing like her own. That time when she groaned, it was one of frustration.

All she wanted to do is pull the covers over her head and disappear but she knew that was not good enough. She was the saviour. She needed to figure out a way to get back to her old life. If there was one thing she was sure of, Mary Margaret was wrong and she hadn’t lost her memories.

So she pulled herself out of bed and down the stairs to the kitchen. Mary Margaret was up, busying herself collecting pans and mugs out of the cupboards. David was sat at the table, fully dressed, massaging his forehead with his hand. She hadn’t heard him come in last night.

“Hey, Emma,” he greeted with a tired but warm smile.

She threw herself in the chair opposite him. “Hey.”

“Emma!” Mary Margaret said. She threw her head around to smile at her. “I was just about to get you up. We’re making pancakes and coffee. Do you want any?”

Emma leaned back in her chair. “Sure.”

For a moment there was only the sound of oil sizzling in the pan and Mary Margaret’s gentle humming. Emma sighed, relieved and at home. The only thing missing was the sound of Henry complaining about doing homework or that his pancakes needed whipped cream and syrup. But suddenly he was twenty-two? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Then, a thought struck her.

“Where’s Neal?”

“Asleep,” said Mary Margaret. She nodded her head in the direction of the double bed downstairs. And sure enough, there was a snoring lump under the covers.

“Hang on…” There were two beds. Only two beds. If she had had one of them and Neal had the other one then … “Where did you sleep?”

“With Neal,” said Mary Margaret brightly. “David took the sofa, of course. I don’t think Neal would have appreciated David’s snoring.”

“Weird sleeping arrangements.”

“Well, if it’s only temporary…”

“Huh?”

She pulled her dressing gown tighter around herself. “Well, you had Neal’s bed, Emma. We only need the two these days. So he came into my bed. Oh, we don’t mind-” she said, catching sight of Emma’s expression. “This must be a troubling time for you. It would make sense that you’d want to sleep in your own bed.”

“I didn’t even realise,” she said in a small voice.

She’d been so preoccupied with her own thoughts and feelings, she’d almost completely forgotten about Neal and sleeping arrangements. If she thought, if she even considered that the bed was Neal’s, she would have used the sofa. God knows, she’d slept in worse conditions. She said as much to Mary Margaret.

“I know, Emma,’ she soothed, as she placed coffee in front of her and David. “But it was for the best, really. David didn’t get in until late anyway.”

“Why?” she threw at him.

“Oh! Uh-” He rubbed his chin. “I was at Hook’s-”

Finally. Someone using his proper name.

“- almost all night.”

He exchanged a look with his wife. It was quick, they were trying to be secretive, but Emma didn’t miss it. She didn’t miss anything, especially where they were concerned.

“What?”

They shared another look.

“What?”

Mary Margaret turned back to the pancakes, leaving David to flounder in front of her. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding her eyes. She hated when he did that. She wasn’t a child, for goodness sake. She could take it.

“Well, it’s just uh-”

“Spit it out, David.”

“It’s just Lizzie,” he rushed out. “She was asking for you all night. Wondering where you were.”

Emma processed this information. The thought of having a daughter seemed so foreign to her, she couldn’t even imagine it. She didn’t want to imagine it. She had Henry and that was all she needed. She was safe in the knowledge that this Lizzie, whoever she was, wasn’t real.

“Do you want to… uh… see her?”

Emma shrugged. The truth was, she really didn’t. That might have made her seem heartless or horrible, but she couldn’t feel anything for a child she didn’t even give birth to. She tried to picture her. Would she be blonde? Would she have green eyes? Or would she look a little like Henry? Henry had more of Neal in him. Would this Lizzie have more of Hook?

She really didn’t want to think about it.

Mary Margaret placed the stack of pancakes in the middle of the table and sat down. Emma grabbed a pancake quickly and dropped it onto her plate. It burnt her fingers. She drowned her pancakes in maple syrup, well aware that her parents were watching her.

“What?”

Mary Margaret immediately grabbed a pancake. She drizzled lemon over it. Emma could almost hear her brain ticking over.

“Look,” Emma said. “I don’t even know this kid.”

“Emma, she’s your daughter. You love her,” said Mary Margaret with a sharp look in her direction. “You just can’t remember.”

“You don’t want to see her?” David’s forehead puckered. “Even if you can’t remember her, you’re not a little bit curious?”

“No, David, I’m not.”

“Dad,” came Mary Margaret’s voice suddenly. Her eyes were fixed on Emma, wide and unblinking. “You call him dad. You haven’t called him David for years.”

What does it matter, Emma wanted to scream. What mattered was that she needed to find a way out of that crazy world. It didn’t matter if she called David dad or dad David. It simply didn’t matter. In her world, Cora was at large, Hook was a villain and everything was as it should be.

She shovelled more pancakes into her mouth. They were still both looking at her. She swallowed. “What do you want me to say?”

“That you’ll see Lizzie and that you’ll talk to Killian-”

“No.”

“- and see that he’s not the villain you think he is.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh Emma!” she all but shouted. Emma flinched. She’s never heard Mary Margaret speak like that before. “You haven’t even given him a chance. I want you to consider - not even accept - but consider the possibility that you’ve lost your memories. You can’t stay here forever. If you can’t do this for Killian please do this for Lizzie.”

Emma pushed her pancakes away from her, suddenly not very hungry.

“All we’re asking,” David began carefully, eyes darting from his wife to Emma. “Is that you give them a chance. Like your mother said, if not Killian, Lizzie. Just meet her. If anyone can jog your memory, she can. Trust me when I say you love her more than anything in the entire world.”

Emma considered his words, but she didn’t like them. She could hear the sense in them, but she wished they’d consider her feelings. Couldn’t they put themselves in her shoes? Try and imagine that she might be uncomfortable seeing Hook and acting out this stupid fairytale fantasy?

But of course, to them, it was not a fantasy.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“No,” they said at the same time.

“Fine. I’ll meet her. But I don’t want Hook anywhere near there.”

“Oh, Emma,” began David, with a sly smile. “When have you not been able to handle Hook?”

She froze.

“I can handle him.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

She paused. Of course she could handle him. Before she went through the portal, that’s exactly what she was doing. Handling him. She’s handled him on the beanstalk. She’d even handled him when he’d been hit by a car.

She wasn’t, by any means, scared of him. He could be frightening, yes, but Emma wasn’t scared of anything. Especially not a stupid pirate in an excessive amount of leather and more eyeliner than her.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll see both of them. But don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

She started having reservations, however, when they were walking up the path to that big house.

“Are you sure I picked this?” she asked David, who just laughed and nodded.

Emma couldn’t see it herself. She was used to sleeping on the streets or in her car. Even her old apartment in Boston wasn’t that big, despite the money she’d been pulling in from her job. She couldn’t imagine herself buying it or even living in it. Even if the sheriff's salary permitted it.

“I can’t afford that,” she said more to herself than anyone, but Mary Margaret heard.

“I guess being the Saviour comes with some perks,” she said, with a secret smile.

They made their way up onto the porch. Emma sucked in a deep breath. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest so loud, she was sure her parents could feel it. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and folded her arms; her battle stance.

“Here we go,” said Mary Margaret and rang the doorbell.

It opened almost immediately.

There stood Hook, hair parted to the side. Emma took a good look at him. It was odd seeing him without his long leather coat and pirate attire. She had to wonder when he started wearing normal clothes and why. Here, he wore a simple black shirt and black jeans. There wasn’t any leather in sight.

“Emma,” he breathed out, his face lifting into a smile.

“Hook,” she said, without warmth.

He face fell. He looked at Mary Margaret, who just shook her head.

“Come on in,” he said to all of them, and stepped back to let them inside. Emma didn’t look at him as she walked past, arms folded. But she could feel his eyes on her the whole time.

She didn’t have a proper look around the last time she was there. She just flew out the house. But now, she could see it was to her taste. Tidy, with comfortable yet clean furniture. The walls were very white, but pleasing on the eye. She almost nodded in approval. Almost.

“Would you like me to put some coffee on, Killian?” Mary Margaret asked, already unbuttoning her coat.

“Don’t worry about it, love,” he said with a warm smile. Emma watched the exchange with troubled eyes. “No Neal today?”

“Well, we thought it might be best if he stayed with Belle instead of coming here, y’know…” She gestured to Emma, who resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Archie is there too. She’s a brilliant babysitter.”

Belle? She’d missed a trick there. By the time Emma had gotten out of the shower both Neal and Archie were gone. She didn’t think to ask where they disappeared to or why.

“Where’s Lizzie?” David asked softly.

“Colouring upstairs in the study,” Hook answered. “I asked her to stay there until I came and got her. She doesn’t really understand why, but I thought it would be best. I ought to get her soon, though. It’ll be bad form to keep her in there.”

“So, what’ve you told her, then?” Emma asked, fixing him with a straight, serious look.

He didn’t flinch away and she hadn't expected him to, but his eyebrows raised, as if shocked that she was speaking to him at all. She wasn’t all that surprised since she’d done her best to ignore him since she walked through the door. And after the fiasco last time she was in the house…

“I told her you fell.” He looked straight back at her. “And that Grandma and Grandad had to look after you for a while, but you’d be back soon.”

“And she doesn’t know that I don’t know who she is?”

That time he did flinch. But it was all an act. She knew it was an act. It had to be.

“I’m afraid she doesn’t. I would have liked to be honest with her but, alas, I resent the pain it would cause her. I’m still not sure I’ve done the right thing.”

“I’m sure you have, Killian,” David agreed. “With any luck, Emma will be back to her normal self and Lizzie won’t have to know a thing.”

“Oh, I agree,” said Mary Margaret. “Though I believe honesty is the best policy, we need to consider the fact that she’s only a child.”

Killian nodded solemnly as Emma watched him. She couldn’t work him out.

“I suppose I shall go and get her, then?” He said. And then with surprising tenderness, he turned to Emma. “If that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

Let’s get this over with, she thought.

He reached out his hand, as if he was going to place it on her arm, or reach for hers, but thought better of it. So he nodded again, swallowed and headed up the stairs. When he was gone, they trooped into the kitchen. Despite Hook’s assurance that Mary Margaret didn’t have to make coffee, she did anyway. She made one for everyone, including Hook, then she sat down at the kitchen table. David followed her lead, slumping into a chair. Emma, however, remained standing. She felt safer that way. Guarded.

Hook was a while. At least ten minutes. Emma wondered what he was talking to her about. Her, probably. Was he explaining that she wasn’t quite the same? That she hadn’t been since she fell and hit her head?

She drummed her fingers against her mug of tea in time to her thumping heart. She took a sip to steady herself. The liquid was warm and comforting, but it wasn’t enough. God, she needed a drink.

That’s when she heard it. The unmistakeable sound of footsteps down the wooden stairs. Hook’s and a child’s. Oh God. It was happening. She was here.

“Mummy!”

Emma’s stomach dropped.

Lizzie ran towards her so fast, she turned into a blur. There was a whirl of air and then, in hardly no time at all, there was impact. She’d thrown herself at Emma, wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her head on her stomach.

For a second, Emma had absolutely no idea what to do. Then, like she’d done so many times with Henry, she wrapped her arms around the girl. It was instinctive. Natural. And suddenly, Emma didn’t feel as scared anymore. She glanced down at Lizzie. All she could see was a head of chocolate hair, cascading in a wave of curls midway down her back. Her hair was thick and shiny like Emma. She touched her fingers to it. Softer than Neal’s hair.

Lizzie gave her one final squeeze before she let go. That’s when Emma had her first proper look at her. She couldn’t help it. She gasped.

She was starting into Hook’s bright blue eyes. She had the pleasure of getting lost in those eyes when she and Hook were on the beanstalk. It had been a mistake to stare so long, almost a surrender in a sense, giving into the connection she knew they had. The connection she pushed away every day, masking it with disgust. On Hook, the eyes were dark and seductive. But here, on Lizzie, they were beautiful, full of innocence.

The face structure was definitely Emma. They shared the same sculpted cheekbones, yet on this child they were softer. She would grow into them and she would be even more beautiful than Emma, more beautiful than anyone. That was something Emma was sure of.

“Daddy said you hit your head!”

Daddy? Oh, Hook. Right.

“I did. I-” She looked up, right into Mary Margaret’s eyes. They were pleading but she needn’t have worried. Emma knew at once she wouldn’t tell this child the whole truth. She wouldn’t hurt her like that. “I fell.”

“Can I see?” She stood on her tiptoes, trying to get a better look.

Emma couldn’t help it, she laughed. Is that what older Emma would do? This Emma, whose daughter stood in front of her? She’d just have to go with the flow.

“Sure thing.”

She crouched down so her head was level with Lizzies. The bandage had been removed that morning. The wound wasn’t very deep (she didn’t need stitches, at least) but it was still healing.

“Ouch!” said Lizzie, touching her forehead with gentle fingers. “That looks painful.”

Emma shrugged. “It’s not so bad.”

Lizzie stood up on her tiptoes again and Emma felt something wet on her forehead.

Emma frowned. “What was that?”

“True love’s kiss. I kissed you and now you’re better.” She nodded and then added, “Because it’s true love.”

Oh. Some of the ice around Emma’s heart melted. Or perhaps it had melted when Lizzie first entered the room, she wasn’t sure.

“I’m much better now, thank you,” she said softly. Her words felt strange in her mouth and oddly formal but if Lizzie noticed she was acting strange, she didn’t say. The next thing she said was much, much worse.

“You’re not going away again, are you?”

Her stomach dropped again, but this time it wasn’t fear. Guilt, maybe?

“I was only away one night.”

“But I missed you!”

She smiled softly. “No, I’m not going away again.”

She didn’t even have to think about the words. She knew they were true. Even though she had argued with her parents, even though she swore to herself that she would stay in Hook’s house again, she found herself defeated the moment she met Lizzie.

Strange how that works.

Lizzie flung her arms around Emma’s neck, almost knocking her over. Once she’d steadied herself, she hugged her back, feeling her soft hair between her fingertips. She looked up and the first pair of eyes she saw were Hook’s. His expression was gentle, so unlike the expressions he’d worn only a few days ago.

But which was the mask?

There was only one way to find out.