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cookies-over-yonder · 11 months

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"... In that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is."

The Close Family and Closure: An Analysis and Breakdown of Taylor's Issues in Hell or High Father

...and the way he addresses and, in Taylor fashion, downplays the problem, and denies its lack of solution.

(I have transcribed the majority of this scene, and below the cut is my line-by-line breakdown and analysis, as well as some other tid-bits.)

hello! ever since i got into dndads, taylor has been my favourite. i found his extreme escapism and dumb confidence fascinating, and as you may know, i love finding scenarios for him to break. it's, like, at least half of my fics at this point.

this episode is my favourite episode, it broke me, and it pieced me back together but Wrong in all the right ways.

this analysis is focusing on the taylor of it all. the motivation behind his words and the changes in his cadence and the denial that still, despite everything, refuses to fade.

i've never written an analysis post structured like this, so do let me know if you like it. i just... i really love taylor.

okay, let's go!

1. "Well...''

Nicky: … I didn't see a lot of Taylor's growing up and that was—that was fi—like we're cool now right, Taylor? Taylor: Fuck yeah dawg— Nicky: See?

to start off, taylor's instinctive answer is to agree with nicky. because well, yeah, they're chill now, that's true, so of course the first thing he does is agree. and i gotta say that i was expecting taylor to leave it at that, because he's not one to dig deeper when he doesn't need to, and even when he does.

Taylor: Well…

taylor says this immediately after his first answer and oh ny god i got SO excited. but this ain't about me. anyway. taylor finally admitting that they're actually not 100% cool is such a big fucking step argh i am so proud of him forever and also so sad for him forever...

Nicky: What? Look, I'm back now, and I'm super tight, and we hang out, and we can do samurai shit together, and we're fuckin'—we're tight as fuck.

this part makes me so sad because nicky is so ignorant to how his absence has affected taylor despite his frustrations at glenn for not being there. and also, this sort of reasoning would have worked on convincing taylor back in early season two. in fact, it did!

[Season 2 Episode 10: Dad Me To Hell]

taylor is completely satisfied with this reason because it feeds into his main character syndrome. his dad left to protect him. what better reason is there? and now he's back and there and able to do cool shit with him, so everything is perfect, right?

but the next thing taylor says is so fucking heartbreaking:

Taylor: If I'm gonna be honest, Dad, I've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time, and you could be there for me.

the way he trails off as he says it, and he loses his confidence in his words... it shows an unfamiliar shyness. we've never seen taylor be this vulnerable before. and to think that he'd been holding out hope for time travel magic to fix his childhood? that perfectly aligns with the idea that taylor is so stuck in his anime escapist fantasy that he can't accept what's real. and magic is real, so therefore he must be able to fix his past, right? it's not impossible for there to be time travel (see. end of season 1 + see. attack on titanic.) but taylor doesn't realize that this is something that can't be fixed so easily, even if that magic were available. he doesn't believe that this can't be fixed. more on this later.

Nicky: [grunts and falls] Uh… um… I didn't know you felt that way. Taylor: Yeah, you know, it's just, when I was practicing my jutsus I could have used some pointers. Nicky: Yeah, but like— Taylor: As a result, I've developed a number of very bad habits that I'm told are very hard to break. And, you know, just watching YouTube videos is not the same as having a dad who can fight.

in the past, taylor has used anime to cope with his absent father, and he relied on the fictional characters to bring him the same comfort a father might bring (this was mentioned by freddie in one of the teen talks and while i've been relistening i've yet to find it. do forgive me as i am merely mortal) while this isn't directly referring to that, i still feel it's worth mentioning, as taylor is confronting his own unhealthy coping mechanism and acknowledging that no, youtube videos aren't a replacement for a dad. he couldn't fill the absence of a father with anything else in his life no matter how hard he tried.

also, taylor is smart. he knows that he has unhealthy coping mechanisms or "bad habits" that he can't break and he knows that they're caused by nicky's absence. i just wonder how long he's been stewing over that, you know?

as shown earlier, when taylor first met nicky and found out why he wasn't there, he accepted it immediately, knowing it was the coolest reason for a father to be absent and only fueled his protagonism.

but now, taylor's confronting his own issues surrounding nicky, and explicitly addressing them to nicky.

*wipes a tear*

i'm so proud of him.

Nicky: Wha—I mean, if it's training you want, we can train you, and like, you see your grandpa there— Taylor: [sighs] It's too late. I needed to start when I was three to five years old like true ninja warriors.

there is something so cutting about the way taylor says it's too late. he's talking about training to be a ninja warrior on the surface, yes, but that's not it.

it's too late. it's too late for nicky to witness his upbringing. it's too late for taylor to grow up with a loving father figure. it's too late.

and taylor knows that, and he's saying it, but he's still masking it with it being about training to become a ninja when in reality it's so much more.

this is just one example of the way he downplays the issue. he zeroes in on just one aspect of his life that nicky wasn't a part of, and speaks as if it's the main issue, when really it's only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Nicky: Oh, well, I mean— Taylor: So I'm already trying to play catch-up a little bit, but you know, I guess it's water under the bridge. But you know, if there is time travel magic, then you know, maybe, or if you find it, you could maybe… pick me up on the way back… to the past, and you know maybe we could do childhood all over again.

taylor is playing catch-up with training, but he's also playing catch-up with having a father in his life.

and again, he downplays it, says it's water under the bridge, when it's so very clear how deeply this has been affecting him his entire life.

and to top it all off, he brings up time travel again. and the way he says this is so un-taylorlike it's jarring. the uncertainty of the maybes, the trailing off, the voice so quiet you almost can't hear it...

he thinks there's still a chance to redo it and fix things, but i feel that deep down he knows it's impossible, that it doesn't work like that, and yet he's still grasping at straws to try and make things better.

it's... it's really sad. i feel really sad for him.

and the way he says he wants to redo childhood. as opposed to only talking about training, here he actually says he wants to do childhood all over again, and it's so, so quiet. and taylor is never shy. it's so clear how badly he's hurting over this.

god. okay.

2. "I didn't even know where you were."

Glenn: So we're cool. Nicky: So, we're cool. Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicky: We're just three cool guys. Taylor: Well…

i love how taylor isn't backing down on the fact that nicky fucked him up. like the gates are open and they can't close back up that easily. he's not accepting them just being three cool guys.

Taylor: Well, I'm just saying—you know, I could have, y'know—not to put too fine a point on it, but Dad, I would have appreciated if, you know… I didn't even know where you were. I 23&me-d my ass, and they sent me a picture of fire, and the cops showed up! There was a white van parked outside of our house for three years!

again, i really notice the change in the way taylor speaks, he's more unsure, quieter, and uses more filler words (such as "y'know"), and it feels as if he feels bad about making nicky confront his faults as a father but he's pushing through it anyway, because he has to.

and i absolutely love the throwback to episode ONE with the 23&me test! like this had been brewing from the start! i just think it's fantastic for it all to build up to this. like yeah. taylor didn't know WHO nicky was or WHERE nicky was and trying to figure it out only led to more danger for him.

Nicky: [gets on one knee and puts his hand on Taylor's shoulder] I guess I never got to properly apologize to you, did I?

Taylor: Well, an apology won't really turn back time, and I don't know how I feel—I would rather have the time travel magic.

this is so cutting. like, yeah, an apology won't cut it, and taylor immediately circles back to time travel magic, as if it could fix what's broken when it really, really can't.

i also find the trend of time when it comes to the close boys to be very fascinating. glenn got locked up in time prison, nicky's childhood was split into two timelines, and taylor thinks time travel can fix his broken relationship with his father?

god damn.

Nicky: Well, I didn't even get to explain—I was in Hell. I was worried that these fuckers [pointing at the other kiddads]— Taylor: Yeah, those fuckers. Nicky: —would have chased after me if I'd gotten out of hell. Taylor: So you're telling me that these fuckers kept you away from me all these years? Nicky: Yeah, you know what? It was these motherfuckers! They are the reason I didn't get to spend time with you because they betrayed me! Taylor: That makes sense; I just saw the memory! Yeah, yeah!

thinking about how taylor immediately agrees with nicky in blaming the others for his absence, because, well, yeah, shit's complicated and they are definitely part of the reason, but the fact that taylor is so on board of whole heartedly blaming them after chewing into his dad about not being there is just so sad. like yeah, of course he doesn't want to be upset at nicky. and it hurts so much that he is.

god.

oh my god.

okay, now, i didn't transcribe the entirety of taylor's memory, i actually summarized it and quoted some key aspects of it, so here:

Taylor's first belt ceremony. He's performing, and he finishes, and he bows, and he looks up. His mom is there. He's sniffling a bit and Cass asks him if he's okay and comments on how he moved all the way up to green belt, and he says he knows. He looks over to the kid who was supposed to get green belt but didn't because of him. The kid is whining, and then his dad comes in and gives him a big hug and—

"It's okay son, I saw how hard you worked, and in my eyes, you're a black belt. Come on, let's get ice cream."

The kid says thanks and they hug and then they leave and Taylor watches them leaving through the window and sees the child and father and mother smiling together. Taylor looks down at and then throws away his green belt.

"I think I'm done with karate."

Taylor gets kicked out.

that line that the father said to his child really hit me, because taylor never heard nicky say that to him. ever. and that was all that he wanted, really. like, "i saw how hard you worked," as in, i was there, watching you, practicing with you, supporting you, i saw you, i see you, i'm here, i'm here with you. and "in my eyes, you're a black belt," in my eyes, you've worked so hard, in my eyes, you deserve more than what you got, in my eyes, you're strong, in my eyes, you're capable.

things nicky never saw, and things nicky never told him.

and then, well, taylor quits.

a memory defining taylor's relationship with nicky. a memory where he wasn't there. a memory where he didn't see taylor's growth. a memory where taylor gave up on an ambition. a memory of absence.

anyways.

Nicky: I'm really sorry— Taylor: I'm kind of sensing a pattern here to be honest. Nicky: Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe the things that your granddad did, I do now. I'm thinking maybe I fucked up in the exact same way… Taylor: [lays a hand on Nicky] I think you fucked up in the same way too. Nicky: Okay. Well that's good. That's good for us.

god. oh my god. the fuckign pattern. i'm so sorry this part makes me lose my coherency all i can think of is how sad it makes me idk idk guys im sorry. you get it. taylor saying yeah you fucked up in the same way and nicky learning that and accepting it. oh my fucking god. like. i dont know theres something about the acceptance of it that really gets me. at the start of the conversation nicky denied it, and here he is, after seeing a memory of taylor doing something he wasn't there for, and now he's like yeah, yeah. i did fuck up royally.

3. "...there is no fixing this."

Glenn: What if we started over? What if we tried to kinda give it a little bit of a reset, and try and make some new memories together, as this sort of team of three? What do you think about that? Is it stupid? I dunno.

Nicky: What kinda memories are you talking about?

Glenn: Well I was thinking we all go to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and start everything off on the right foot! It's been so long since I've been to Disneyland, and, I dunno, let me show you all the secrets. Let me show you all the hidden Mickeys. I never got to show Taylor how to get over nine-hundred-thousand points on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And you! Nick, I never showed you the secret entrance into Club 33 that only I know about, and it requires you to go through the sewers a little bit.

I mean, what do you say? Maybe we can do something about this whole fucked up Close family. Maybe we could bring it on back a little bit. What do you guys think?

Nicky: Yeah, sure, yeah I mean, I like Disneyland as much as the next guy. What do you think Taylor?

Taylor: What's Disneyland? I don't understand, what's Disneyland?

now listen, i know that taylor not knowing what disneyland is was just because of the whole doodlerized world thing, but i feel like it also really highlights the disconnect here. like, glenn wasn't around much in nick's life but they knew each other and yes glenn went to disneyland without nick a lot and yes nick liked universal better and if i got into their relationship it would take far too long and i don't feel particularly equipped to tackle that which is why i'm focusing on taylor, but i think that taylor asking what disneyland is highlights the disconnect between him and nicky. nicky and glenn are talking about something that taylor is completely lost on, and to me it really shows the disconnect between all of them. first off, nicky likes universal studios better than disney, second of all, taylor doesn't even know what disneyland is. they grew up in different realms, and they grew up around different people, and nicky was never there, which means there's so much taylor knows that nicky doesn't, and so much nicky knows that taylor doesn't and so much of that knowledge and those experiences can never or will never be shared.

Nicky: Oh yeah, good point, I guess it's on a previously Doodlerized world now with a bunch of really fucked up shit in it.

Glenn: I'm just saying that like—give me a chance. Give me a chance to try and make up for all the—well—you know what? No, no, no, no, no, I can't make up for any of that stuff.

it's true. this solution is like putting icing on top of an overdone cupcake. temporarily sweet but it's still bitter and burnt. (i'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, i don't bake.) but like when you burn something you can't just. un-burn it. sure you can put icing and sprinkles and all the fun stuff and maybe you can wash out the taste but that doesn't change the state of what's underneath.

that's their relationship to me.

Anthony: As you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks, and in that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is.

ah yes, finally, we reach the end.

this is what their relationship is. it's comprised of missing connections and missed experiences and misplaced memories and absences and longing and searching and finding one another only for it to be too late. it is comprised of absence as opposed to love or hate or anything in between. the nothingness that is absence is their relationship

how depressing.

if i'm honest, i think nicky still has a chance. obviously he can't fix anything with taylor, but i really do hope that he tries to be proactive in taking part in taylor's life from here on out, that is, if taylor even survives this next episode, oooh scary.... hahaha anyways.

i hope everyone enjoyed this essay! i started writing it the day the episode came out but schoolwork kinda took over me.

i wanted to get it out before this episode's teen talk so that's why i finished it tonight, but i may reblog with more thoughts, who knows! we'll see! :3c

i do also encourage you guys to check out my art for this episode specifically inspired by that last anthony quote there.

and of course my thoughts are not the objective truth, i am a mere university student, ignoring my school essays to write one for tumblr <3

bye-bye! <3 :3c

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndaddies #hell and high father #dndads analysis #analysis #cookies analyses #cookies rambles <3 #taylor swift dndads #glenn close #nicky foster #nick close #nicholas foster #cookies writes and cookies wrongs

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ginalinettiofficial · 6 months

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hey what’s up hello okay so i finally just finished s2 e52 of dndads (had a very crazy work week so was listening in bits and pieces) and here’s the thing is that im also currently relistening to the whole season and earlier in this week, the most recent episode i finished, was halt and catch fireball, and before that ya know was mrs. swallows oak garcia’s home for peculiar teens or whatever that one is called where they are just. at normal’s house and we got to actually get to know rebecca a little bit and i have got to say that i don’t know if i could’ve picked a more painful and wild older ep to listen to as a precursor to dood riddance i really don’t!!! literally half of the shit in dood riddance just circles back to that arc in the swallows oak garcia home and it’s CRAZY

like first of all. the red vines, which they called twizzlers the entirety of e52 which was MADDENING as a person who legit just finished e30/31 where the red vines were introduced

but then like. e31 is where taylor gets the anime sword from nick!!! that he loses in e52!!!

there were a few other things that i’ve forgotten in the half an hour since i finished the ep because my brain is a sieve on a good day and i’m just getting home from two back to back 13 hour shifts (with an extra 1hr10/20 each day for the commute) so the brain machine is so fucking broke rn

but mainly. i wasn’t loving e52 esp after dood left i just was not vibing with it, i feel like the vibes were off in the room in a way that translated into the ep for a bit there, but then anthony in those last like three minutes brought it back around and with the roll of rebecca??? after i legit JUST finished listening to the eps that feature her the most prominently and like truly showcase not only normal’s relationship w his mom but also, as is said several times in e30/31 and their teen talks, just how similar normal IS to his mom and how he really clearly is a total momma’s boy and very much so seemed to be a kid who sought solace with his mom more than anyone else in his family and just. having legit JUST reestablished that in my own, made the end of e52 DEVASTATING for me in a way that idk if it was for other ppl??? idk haven’t checked the fandom yet im very disconnected this season but just.

i think that okay so we have ten parents it could’ve been, right? and five of those are the kiddads, and none of us want to see them die, so in that moment when anthony was telling us what was gonna happen, obviously my instinct was like “oh god don’t do this don’t do terry jr again but truly permanent” and then my next instinct was that it would be potentially even MORE awful if it was scary’s dad because finally there he is and that’s ALL she wants and for willy to take that moment from her would be INSANE and then (mind you this was my thought process over the course of literally 10 seconds, my brain is ping ponging in my head and has been since the second i got in the car to head home i need to sleep) and THEN my next thought was, oh god, but how fucked up would it be if it were marco??? oh god, how fucked up would it be if it were cassandra?!?!?!?! and then it was time for the roll and truly in those brief seconds basically my brain flicked through every potential victim and said “oh god THAT one would be the WORST”, EXCEPT for veronica and rebecca, and it made the hit of it being rebecca who was low down on my instinctual list to think of but then the second he said her name i was immediately ricocheted back to earlier in the week when i was listening to halt and catch fireball and mrs. swallows oak garcias home and how many emotions i had about normal and his mom just relistening to those episodes and then the fact that i DIDNT think to worry about her just

all of that combined to make that a CRITICAL HIT FOR ME OKAY like i am SO fucked up over this truly that was WILD and i applaud anthony burch for it and now am excited for the finale even though ive spent the last three eps just dreading it for several reasons but now im excited and devastated and i love that

anyways. that was word vomit i just NEEDED to get this out because the connections between those two episodes really will not stop hitting me in the head and i need to impart that onto SOMEONE. if u read this. ur a real one. rip rebecca swallows oak garcia you were a legend and i am so sad about u

#d speaks #dndads #dndads s2 #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 spoilers #normal oak

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hermanunworthy · 10 months

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!DNDADS S2 EP46 SPOILERS!

im getting to listen to this right as it drops. and frankly. i am TERRIFIED. ive heard about Bad Things Coming and i fear this episode may kill me. pray for me guys

- WTF DOES THIS TITLE MEAN. WHY LINCOLN

- NO ONE WILL DIE THIS EPISODE #AFFIRM

- MATT. NOT THE TIME.

- THE CLUSSY???

- WILL BEING AN ADAMANT CASS DEFENDER. U ARE SO REAL MAN

- I HATE LISTENING TO THIS AT HOME IM LAUGHING TOO LOUD ALREADY

- THE MOANING. QUIT IT ALREADY IM GONNA CRY

- SCAMSTER ORIGIN STORY WTF????

- we already knew this. but. evil. they are so silly and awful

- 3/4 NOOOO I WAS HOPING FOR HERMIE DAD ARC..... but ofc were not gonna get it

- NOT WILL GETTING EXCITED ABOUT ACTUALLY FIGHTING TAYLOR. FUCK

- SWIFTLI AND NORMSCARY YESSS

- WILL WHAT IS THIS VOICE UR DOING

- the fact that theyre not remembering hermie as the actual next in line is killing me im ngl

- FREDDIE RANDOMLY MAKING NPCS W DUDEBRO VOICES IS MY FAVE THING

- MATTS LAUGH WHEN HE ROLLED THAT NAT1. GOD I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

- OH *ABRAHAM* LINCOLN??? IS THAT WHO THE TITLE IS REFERRING TO 😭

- WTF IS THIS EPISODEEEE I KNEW THEYD DO SOME CRAZY DUMB SHIT TO GET OUT OF TJIS

- HERMIE HERMIE HEMRIE

- WHY ARE U ONLY JUST NOW REMEMEBRING HERMIE

- ISTG IF THAT IS HERMIES ONE ONLY LINE THE WHOLE WPISODE IM GONNA KILL

- NOT TAYLOR INHERITING THE CLOSE FIGHT BETTING INSTINCTS

- FIND JODIE????? IM GONNA DIE

- hang on hold up. breakfast break

- ANTHONY "BC HE PUNCHED U REALLY HARD" "YEAH FUCKED UP RIGHT??" IM CRYING

- WHAT IS THE FANART FOR THIS FIGHT GONNA BE LIKE.

- NORMALS IN DEATH SAVES NOOOO

- "HIM LOOKING BACK ON HIS LIFE, HIM GETTING DUNKED ON 24/7" STOP IT WILL STOP IT I DONT NEED THIS RN

- oakicks nation were winning ig

- "THATS BRISK BABY" SCREAMING

- SO THE JEZZBALL WASNT BC OF HENRY.... ☹️

- NO NO NO PLZ DONT HURT NORMAL MORE

- PLZ IM SO STRESSED I NEED NORMAL TO BE SAFE

- MATT IS JUST SO UNHINGED THIS EP

- IS LINK GONNA KILL SHMEGAN???

- RON IS STILL HERE???

- TAYLOR IS SO USELESS NOW HELPPP

- THIS EPISODE IS SO DUMBBBB

- NOT ANOTHER EXPLODING HEAD DEATH

- NORMAL IS OKAY!!!!

- HE LOST HIS MUSTACHE LMAOOO

- david lovesatan will NEVER be jodie foster >:[

- NOOOO THEYRE GONNA TAKE DOOD

- SHMEGAN IS DEAD

- NORMALS GONNA GET FUCKING HIT AGAINNNNN I CANT DO THIS

- DOOD UNLEASHED?????

- THIS IS DOODS 100% EXPLOSION FOR ALL MY FELLOW MP100 FANS OUT THERE

- .....is it too early to say that this episode is NOT as bad as i feared

- bc i seriously thought henry would be coming back and shit would happen w hermie and it would be super awful evil but ig thats NEXT episode. god

- TY BETH FOR REMEMBERING HERMIE 🙏🙏

- WHERE ARE THEY???

- okay fbi office okay..... okay....

- WHAT???? HERMIE?????? WHAT

- WHAT

- AM I GONNA GET SOME AWFUL HERMIE CLIFFHANGER. I WILL KMS

- WHY IS HERMIE CHOKING WHAT

- WHY IS HERMIE BLEEDING OUT?????

- IF HERMIE DIES I WILL DIE. DONT DO THIS TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING

- HERMIE GOT SHOT

- OH GOD OH NO

- ANTHONY. COME ON.

- HERMIES CALLING OUT FOR FUCKING NORMAL??????

- WHAT THE FUCK

- PLZ DONT KILL HERMIE PLZ

- NO

- GUYS.

- GUYS

- IM GONNA KMS

- HERMIE IS DEAD.

- HERMIE LIKES NORMAL BACK AND HERMIE IS DEAD.

- guys im done

- i literally cant even process this i cant even cry yet im just

#dndads #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 spoilers #siren says

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zroqravity · 4 months

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no you are literally so right about the patreon thing though

i don't wanna be a hater on my blog so I'm gonna be on anon, but it is genuinely a stupid financial decision.

also like.

why the fuck was the update on patreon only??? if it concerns riptide, their main campaign??? like at least make a community post (they didn't have a problem making community post for merch for an exclusive campaign but they can't talk about hiatus on there??? weird)

also a thing that annoys me is the fact that they still have ads and shit on episodes, they have sponsorships. and it's not weird, every single podcast with a patreon I listen to has that (dndads, which they actually made a reference to once in an intro, naddpod) but they're the only ones that have activity on patreon and NO activity on main feed. it's weird!

and those podcasts manage to have active main campaigns while also having successful patreons! i understand that for the boys it's like a main job and so the pressure to have it pay off is high. but it's just not gonna if they move to patreon completely. it never works! I've seen people try so many times and it never works because patreon just doesn't work like that. it literally advertises itself as a place for exclusive content and it ain't exclusive if it's The Only thing that exists.

anyway I think they should have prioritized getting wanderlust out first (if they make it like the suckening I swear to fucking god I'll explode), THEN doing a patreon mini-campaign and then coming back with riptide. or better yet, posting the mini campaign along with riptide coming back to lure people in. would work on me if patreon wasn't locked away from regionally

they're just managing it all rather poorly tbh. like I get it? they're making money and I would also prioritize that shit, I understand. but at this point some of it just feel disrespectful. like posting the update on patreon of all places (not even fucking twitter???? or smth?)

anyway anyway. sorry for getting all of this off my chest in your askbox I just. most people I follow and/or am mutuals with for jrwi have patreons and i just feel like I can't complain about it. yknow? it's probably just in my head but yeah. you're so right

THE UPDATE THING YEAH I DIDNT KNOW I COULD ACTUALLY WATCH IT FOR FREE FOR QUITE A WHILE! It'd reeallllly weird to only put it on patreon especially when they have posted things of this sort on twitter in the past and at least made a community post abojt it on youtube, I can't think of exactly why they did this honestly but just the fact that they did it makes me suspicious despite there not being anything technically wrong with it and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

also they have ads enabled on patreon stuff?? Yeah that is kinda weird and something I've never thought about before. Also a big fan of dndads here, in my original repay to the ask I actually mentioned them as a podcast who uses their patreon well but decided to delete it.

PATREON IS REGEON LOCKED??!?!@ THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE NOT ONLY ARE THEY LEAVING OUT FANS RHAT DONT PAY BJT ALSO SOME THAT WOULD PAY BUT JUST HAPPEN TO LIVE IN THE WRONG PLACE??????#@ AND THESE PEOPLE WOUNDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO SEE THE UPDATE

yeah they are handedly this shit very poorly, I'm glad my asks could be somewhere for you to talk about this bc I know how frustrating this is, I'm really glad I finally got the guts to speak more about this bc its something I've had a big problem with for a while and it's really nice to see that it's not actually all in my head and I'm not just being a hater unreasonably like I tent to think i am

Sorry for the late reply, my reply to your other ask will come even later, sorry again o7

#my asks #asks #anon ask #didnt read over this bc i need to go #but i hope its coherent #hater anon

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cgi-heart-eyes · 10 months

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dndads incorrect quotes

long post ahead

the teens:

Scary: I hate you sometimes. Normal: Well according to this picture Link drew of us holding hands that's not true. Scary: Normal, you drew that. Normal: It doesn't matter

Scary: I just watched Normal jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Link was screaming for help, which caused Taylor to run in to help Normal. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

Scary: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Normal: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Link: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Taylor: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Scary: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Scary: I think Taylor was right. Normal: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.' Link: They wouldn't do that. Taylor: You're right, Link. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. Taylor: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Taylor Told You So' on the back*

Scary: Normal, I'm sad. Normal: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Link: Taylor, I'm sad. Taylor, nodding: mood.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Scary: Shit. Normal: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Link: OH MY GOD TAYLOR FELL OFF!!

Scary: Why are your tongues purple? Link: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Taylor: I had a red one. Scary: oh Scary: Scary: OH Normal: Normal: You drank each other's slushies?

Scary: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Normal: Link: Taylor: Everyone Else At Scary’s Surprise Birthday Party: Normal: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

dads:

Ron: Why are Henry and Darryl sitting with their backs to each other? Glenn: They had a fight. Ron: Then why are they holding hands? Glenn: They get sad when they fight.

Henry: How did none of you hear what I just said? Darryl: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Ron: I got distracted about halfway through. Glenn: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Henry: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Darryl: I don’t know how to do that. Ron: I don’t wear a watch. Glenn: Time is a construct.

Henry: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Henry: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Henry: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Henry: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird, but emotionally? Imagine the toll!

Henry: I’m this close to falling in love with Darryl. Glenn: Your fingertips are touching. Henry: Exactly.

Glenn: Bad news—Ron locked themself outside of their own house. Glenn: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Glenn: Bad news—Darryl finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys/girls/enbies. Glenn: Good news—a cute guy/girl/enby saw me do it. Glenn: Bad news—it was Henry, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.

Glenn, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

kiddads:

Lark, to Grant: I mean, I get complimented all the time- Sparrow: starts cackling Lark: I do! Sparrow: laughs harder

Grant: Yesterday, I overheard Lark saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Sparrow replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Terry: Why don’t you go talk to them? Grant, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure. Terry: What? So you go tell them they’re cute, what’s the worst that could happen? Grant: They could hear me.

Nicky: Sweet dog you got there. Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog. Nicky: Still training huh? Police: What do you mean? Nicky: Nicky: Never mind.

Nicky: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Grant: I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the water in my body is gone and I die from dehydration. Terry: Are you okay? Lark: Did you actually just ask them that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?

Lark: You've got to act tough, Sparrow! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you! Sparrow: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it. Sparrow, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

Terry: Watcha got there..? Sparrow: petting a ostrich A smoothie.

i’ll probably add more at some point, this was really fun to make!

#dndads

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thefandom-casserole · 8 months

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Episode 49 Notes-

Heheheh I had a snow day so I got to listen early!!!!!!!!!!!

THE INTRO SONG OMG

We are winning with the dndads music lately hehehe

“Like there’s a Druid in my mind saying it’s gonna be oak” SOBBING

Oak this is a bop actually

Holy shit there were so many things bad that happened to normal lately 😭

They’re in the past!!!!!! Oh my goddddddd

Taylor’s Teen Fact: Taylor was the runner up of the Teen High Teen of the Year award (which Margarita Pizza won). Taylor is a very good cup stacker (third place in a competition)

We forget that Taylor is canonically the most popular kid

Freddie’s facts are always the craziest of all time. I love it

Linc’s Teen Fact: Linc had to do things other than soccer playing so Marco and Grant got him into artsy stuff. Of course he only would pain/sculpt soccer type things. So he decided to start selling them on Next Door (with an account called Foot King). Marco and Grant took him off of the app. He’s a good painter basically

Normal’s Teen Fact: Normal always keeps his hot glue gun on him

Scary’s Teen Fact: Scary doesn’t have a New Years Resolution because she decided it was too resolute (too firm, too definite). She wants to be able to choose whether or not to do something

Daddy Fact: Anthony’s goal is to write a porn thing and he was reached out to by a porn website to write for them. He was gifted a care package (picture as you will)

He’s already written the script 😭

OH SHIT TAYLOR AND SCARY AREN’T WITH THEM

Ooohh AU where they ARE the four horseman of the apocalypse

THE DOLPHIN CULT YAYYYYYYYYYYAGAJAHHSJDND

Sitcom staring the Porpy and Flippy: Cop sidekicks

NO DOOD HAS DOODLERIZED EVERYONEEEEEE

Well Willy did but whatever

Screw Willy

Grill Master the Dolphin!!!!!!! Ayyyyyy

Dang Willy is God

They’re in a five person (well four person now) marriage don’t judge the dolphins!!!!

Awww they’re only like. Fifteen.

Heh Glenn Close/Jodie Foster (a good guy) in charge of Hell, Willy Stampler (a bad guy) in charge of Heaven

Yoooo wait the FBI is apart of the Hell now

Lark still hates Henry omg

Sparrow!!! Omg

Normal and Scary are so similar omg omg omg

Damn Good Omens much

What is it with Willy getting at the Oaks?

OH IS IT BECAUSE THEY HAVE PART OF DOOD IN THEM!?!?!?

“Brother” AYYY THEYRE BACK

The codependents of all time

HENRY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This dumb spell my goodness I love their debate

Why are they so set on killing Henry 😭

Oh only 49 damage that’s not that bad

TAYLOR BREAKS LARKS ANCLE OMG

Scary noooooooo

SPIDER BOIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Scary’s gonna die 😭 😭 😭 😭

Taylors such an ass omg

Scary got 44 damage

“I say no once in six years of podcasting”

TEHYRE ON FUREEEEEBSJAJAHIWIW

SCARY AND HENRY A DUO I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED

Lark and Sparrow make me so unwell omg

NO LARK LETS GO OF SPARROW NOOOO

Begging for Lark to have a whole thing about Sparrow with Normal

No one catches Lark 😭

Taylor is so funny omg

TAYLOR WITH SPARROW OMG

They seriously are having season one vibes I missed this so much omg

Nooo that was such a good transition

Taylor having his own mini adventure is because they played a Taylor Swift song for their intro

CASSANDRA OH NO

TAYLOR JS GOING TO KILL WILLY IF HE DOES ANYTHING ELSE TO HIS MOM

This whole Taylor thing is giving off BIG Leviathan Fabian vibes with Chungle Down Bim

YOOO THE MARRIAGE THING OMG STRIKES AGAIN

Please say this works

Roll high

Ohh a 12

LINC JUST PRAYED TO WILLY

Voicemail box 😭

Of course Taylor is going to find his name

OMG WAIT FREDDIE’S PLAN WAS LITERALLY OREDICTED BY SOMEONE ON TUMBLR I SWEAR

I DUNNO WHO

BUT MAY APPOLO’S VISION BE UPON YOU OR WHATEVER

Nooooo and it’d be easier for Taylor too because HIS MOM MARRIED WILLY OMG OMG

HIS LAST NAME TECHNICALLY COULD BE STAMPLER MUCH EASIER NOW BECAUSE OF THAT

SCARYA ND HENRY YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYSGHAHWHSHSHSHSVSAHWJHAHSB

Henry stopppppppp you’re messing with Scary :cccccccc

Nooo scary still has the hat omg oh dear

Oh dear Willy’s God now he could probably control someone’s mind through their sleepppp

Oh god I hate Barry so much. He sucked so much I hate him

AHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHSHHAHSHHSHSH SCARY BEING A SOCCER OEROSN OMG OSBAKAJSH

Taylor squints so hard that someone dies 😭

AYYY THATS CANON

I wonder if he’s gonna get the original daddies as well as the Kiddads

Scary’s pulling what Riz did with Biz ayyyy

Aww that would’ve been sick if he believed her

NO NO DONT TELL HER SHE WAS LIKE YOU FUCK YOU WILLY

FUCKING GET HIM SCARY GET HIS ASS GET EM

Scary just wants attention :ccccc

“Good luck” ANTHONY THAT HAD NO BUSINESS BEING SO OMINOUS OMG

Noooo remembering the thing with the cheese :ccc

I miss early season two

NO THATS WHERE EVERYRHING WITH HERMIE HAPPENED AYLGHHHHHHSVSHHSHS

“YOU BITCH” omg normal 😭

“Give me an L” “You’ve had enough Ls” “I’ll give you one of mine”

No the way it fits the intro

AHHH NORMAL USING HIS CHEER TO CHEER UP LINC

This episode is making me giddy omg /pos

Linc is getting so sad this is worryinggggg. He’s acting like Grantttttt

This whole eye thing is seriously the math questions on my tests

A happy normal is something I’ve missed so so much

I think literally all of these kids (except maybe Taylor) have a guilt complex (Scary/Willy, Normal/Code Purple, Linc/im not quite sure)

DARRYL AUYYYYYAYAYAYYAYAHAHABBSHSJSJS

JODIE AND GLENN YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYABSJAHWH

Omg Jodie and Glenn together 😭

WIAT WAIT OKG WAIT

THE THING THAT MAKES THEM BELIEVE JN SHIT

THE WHOLE THING WITH THE CLOSE FAMILY DID THAT FOR TAYLOR

AND HE GOT THE PERSUASION THING

DOES THAT MEAN THATLL HAPPEN FOR THE OTHER TEENS WHEN THEYRE THING IS COMPLETED

ITS LIKE WHEN IN FH THEY GIT TO REROLL A STAT AFTER SOOHMORE YEAR

Scary looks like Larry!!

Omg Freddie is genuinely so smart omg

HAMILTON AYYYYYYYY

Yam ya

I’m gonna use that

He had a flying spell wowwww

REVERSE GRAVITY AUAGAHHAJAHAHHAHAHJW

OhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH

Will and me both man

Larry is so cool omg

Dood nooooooo

RONNNNAHGAHAHAHAHHSHS

FUCK YOU WILLY

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUHAGSJSHHAHAAHAHS

Mfer admits that Ron posed a threatttttt

Honey badger waits for no one

I’m gonna start using that too

GO BETH OMG

Willy likes the science kid oh my god I’m gonna sob

Larry gives off church camp vibes

Willy’s doing the spaghetti thing 😭

OMG OMG

WILLY TAYLOR IS GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOI HURY CASSANDRA PIOE THAT HOLY SHIT

“You’d be a lot prettier if you smiled Cassandra” GET HIS ASS TAYLOR GET. HIS. ASS.

You know I hated Willy before

But this is a whole new fucking level

Awww that’s so sweet at the end <33

AHHAHAHAHHAHA THIS EPISODE MAN

I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to wait for the next episode ahhh

IVE LISTENED TO THE ALBUM BUT OMG IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR THE ONE THEYRE RELEASING TO ADVERTISE IT

I’m betting it’s either the Potatoe one or Dead and Gone

Hmmmmm

January 30th!!

Oh screw off siri

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAIT IS DEAD AND GONE

YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAAYAYAYYAYAYYA

THIS EPISODE IS MT ABSOKUTE FAVORUTE THIS SEASON

#Dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 #I had to delete some of my key smashes so that i could post this within the key limit

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warmesthello · 1 year

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DNDADS S2E34 Thoughts (spoilers)

Tori was great and I’m glad that even if she didn’t quite get them it seemed like she had fun and everyone became somewhat comfortable with her!!! Wish her all the success lol

Link’s bit was so funny and I loved how he stayed in character the whole time and we got some lore from him. Honestly I don’t hate that this was one of the highest rated bits because it was honestly one of my favorites too even if it wasn’t the actual funniest.

Freddie’s bit was...hard to listen to. Bits were funny but the second hand embarrassment was killing me whenever there was silence. It was wild that he really tried to open his set with a joke about harem anime.

Beth was so funny and I really wasn’t prepared for it, especially after she hyped it up by saying that she was prepared for a male judge. Her coming back with the Uncle Rico joke after dropping it did make me laugh and Tori was right to give Beth a good(ish) score. Very funny, did laugh.

Will’s tight 5 just made me sad if I’m honest. The Pickle Rick Borat stuff was rough because I know he had to keep up the impression but I just wanted Normal! Then when Normal broke through a bit more it just made everything angsty and I feel like he stumbled over his words and was mean to his friends trying to be funny and I felt bad for him :( Tearing into Hermie’s insecurities is not the path to a boyfriend.

Anthony just really unloaded and I can’t remember who said it but Hermie’s stuff really was a lot of Anthony and you could tell. I did think he was genuinely the funniest of the sets but the edgy humor did start to just become concerning. HOWEVER, the bit about the suicide hotline was so fucking funny and then when he retorted to Tori about killing himself I was simultaneously like ANTHONY NO and cracking the fuck up.

I could make a whole separate post about the Oakworthy content this episode but I will try to condense. Mostly I’m just glad that we got more Hermie characterization. The sad boy who doesn’t know who he is, but who also won’t take shit. I feel like Normal genuinely does like Hermie because as much as Hermie wouldn’t admit it this episode, he has been trailing after him since the dance and he has almost never actually received validation from Hermie. I feel like if Hermie weren’t so confused and upset then maybe things would be better but also Anthony truly was hating the gays today :( Once again, I miss the Hell arc where they were goofy.

Can’t believe the kids are married. Brings a tear to my eye. Nick’s signs were also hilarious. So glad Nick is alive and also apparently ordained and happy to marry these 5 teens to each other.

This just made me want to write Oakworthy fic.

#dndads #dndads spoilers

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nutria--oscura · 10 months

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me? listening to an ep when it comes out rather than hours later? a rare occasion for sure (shit's gonna go down isn't it?)

~spoilers for s2 ep47~

"crunchy munchy refuge"? HENRY'S BACK? PLEASE

"they must deal with the loss of a team member" WELL- YEA. THEY BETTER TALK ABOUT IT

hi um... what song is this? why? oh- no reason... not sobbing at all [screams]

we did it boys... Hermie finally got his show stopping number, his final performance, the entire cold open to himself.

"this same podcast dungeons and dragons" PART ?? OF WILL SAYING IT DND INSTEAD OF DNDADS (it makes me giggle so much every time)

every time Matt opens Link's fact by reminding everyone that the teens are spouses, it returns to me the life Anthony takes away whenever he hurts Hermie

OOOOOO PROPS? Love Will bringing in the props- THE LOVERS? REVERSED LOVERS- OH SHITTTTT

loving the energy in the room

oh? Lark and Sparrow are with them?

OH YEAH- NORMAL WASN'T CONSCIOUS OH SHIT-

HIDE HERMIE??? YEA LISTEN TO SCARY, DON'T TOUCH HIM-

idiots- the lot of the- WAIT WHAT- ANTHONY

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lark just trying to leave-

Normal doesn't see Hermie? wow, ok, i'm already crying- ok

LARK AND SPARROW FUCK OFF- LET HIS SAY BYE-

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F U C K K K K

"this heaven has one less spouse, but heaven has one more angel" I love Hermie but, that boy is not going to heaven

Anthony sounded so inspired when he said "garages" I aspire to be that inspired in my life lol

Hi Will, let Normal go feral please :) Merci <3

NORMAL CASTS COMMAND

ELDRITCH BLAST ON THE DOOR

YES FREDDIE FUCK YEA

"I want to pull the pin on one of them and then throw the whole box at them" to that I raise you, wasn't it Darryl who threw the ENTIRE bag of beans in s1? Wilsons and throwing full containers of dangerous stuff, I tell ya-

"the shrapnel does a cool, like right over my eyebrow? y'know, cool scar, y'know?" SCAR SCAR SCAR SCAR ON LINKKK

Pennies? NAT 1 NOOOOO

"they haven't made pennies in years Normal" oKAY

GENTLE REPOSEEE

FUCK

NORMAL AND THE NAT FUCKING 1S JEEZ-

I just saw 2 ppl's names who are coming up and i am now so terrified-

ANTHONY NO PLEA- THAT'S THE SEGUAY? HOLY SHIT

how did I fucking know that that would be the knock- whAT?

Henry has a portal to old earth?

jumping = falling upward

Oakvale? man with bracele- iS THAT BARRY?

why does he have old Erin O'Neil's voice

HENRYYYYYYY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRYYYY!

ok. who said Henry would be like "i'm still alive cause of my healthy vegan lifestyle" to the other dads? i'm giving you a pat on the head and a cookie

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SEX FURNITURE? yea, ok.

MERCEDES IS DEAD? NOOOOOO (the second Will said "jar of Mercedes Oak-Garcia's ashes" I dropped my phone-) WHY IS TIME PROGRESSING IN THIS PODCAST ABOUT GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND HOW IT CAN EFFECT PEOPLE OVER TIME AGHHHHH-

"can you go wait outside" oH NOOOOOO

HERMIE ARCANA CHECK- FUCKING 3- WILL CHANGE YOUR DICE PLEASE GOD NO

FUCK NO NO NO N O O O

"if none of you guys can help him and none of you guys understand how this works then we gotta go to the one guy who can!" THE WAY I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING SEAT WHEN WILL SIAD THT- SCAM ACTUALLY IS BACK TOOO BOIS

YOU TELL THEM NORM. YOU FUCKING TELL THEM

Scary's voice- oh gosh-

THE SIMPSONS?

"I'm here when it's sad, I'm here when it's fun. Did somebody do something to my son?" NEW SCAM OPENING RHYME AHHHHHH

SCAM ACTUALLY ACTUALLY CARES

"he's just a goof, goofs never die" WHAT IF I DIE?

NO SOUL?

hey, Anthony. fuck you <3 /j well... /hj

YES NORMAL PUNCH HIM (can you guys tell i love scam?)

"bad girl, i'm a bad girl i do what needs to be done. sometimes people fuck with my friends and i fuck with them back"

"you feel like home for some reason" WHAT IF I CRY?

TELL HIM SCARY- OH NOOOOO

one thing i have learned is when Will's character(s) start crying, i cry. and well... Normal's crying, and gUESS WHAT?

OH GODDDD THE TWO-FACE TREE FOR OUR TWO-FACE BOY-

NORMAL AND HENRY <333

THE SEX CANDLES-

HENRY'S FAVOURITE SHOW IS BACK!

THE EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH OF THE EP GEEZ

CHAPARRAL ON 3? OH SHI- yeaaaa

THE SUN IS BACKKKK

"Normal goes to the sort of fresh mound of earth, where Hermie is buried, and he kneels and he says, 'I liked you too.' He puts his hand on the dirt and he says, 'goodnight sweet prince.'" OH GOD OH FUCK- I LITERALLY COLLAPSED ON THE GROUND AND WHEN I GOT UP SLIPPED AND SLID DOWN THE WALL FROM CRYING- OH GEEZ- "GOODBYE SWEET PRINCE, SWEET PRINCE" OH GOSH-

WE'RE DOING THE MEMORIES NOW???? GOD-

i'm sorry- they're teaching Hero AND NORMAL

DADDIES HQ

FREDDIE WITH THE SAVE- OH CMON ANTHONY-

what. the. fuck.

NO. DON'T END ON NORMAL BEING YELLED AT. FOR THE SAKE OF MY MENTAL HEALTH DON'T. PLEASE-

love that Normal at 6 years old had the intelligence to lock the door. no one at daddies hq did that. like, the door was unlocked when Normal got there

In conclusion:

HERMIE NOOOOO-

#HEAD IN MY HANDS #fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk #this. episode. is. giving. me. so. much. emotional. whiplash.#dndads spoilers #dndads #whispers of the raine #edit: cant believe i forgot the in conclusion #that's like this things whole brand (imo)#other than being essentially a giant shitpost that is #anyway #time to go study for my psychology test tomorrow

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briflatclarinet · 2 years

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Dndads Winter Gift Exchange

My @dndads-winter-gift-exchange is done! It’s for @odd-kid-42 and I hope they enjoy it! Also just as a note, there are some references to rolls here because I decided to actually roll some strength and athletics checks while I was writing this and I used those to dictate how those bits went! Happy holidays and may the new year be kind to you and give to you all your heart desires!

Paeden had been in some weird situations- those tend to happen when you’re a kid in the UFC ring who runs off with a bunch of dads to go fight a vampire- but meeting Walter the Immoral had definitely risen in the ranks of most odd. For starters, the dude was barely taller than Paeden himself and had smooth, green skin that seemed to be almost glistening. Maybe it was sweat from working outside in a hot smithy or maybe it was just a Bullywug thing, Paeden wouldn’t know! This was his first time meeting a Bullywug despite living in a Bull-E-Wug’s for so long, Paeden didn’t know what to expect and this made him slightly nervous; but the idea of learning how to make weapons from this guy was so cool! Paeden hoped that he would get to learn how to make knives soon, you could never have too many of those lying around. First, Paeden figured, he’ll have to deal with introductions and whatnot. It had only been a little while since the dads left after all.

“So,” Walter said, clearing his throat. “I was thinking we could start with a tour of the house. I mean it’s not much, but it’s home and you need to know where things are and stuff.”

“Yeah, man, that sounds cool! Show me them digs!”

“Well, first off, this is the living room. We’ve got a couple places to sit and hang around so maybe you can have friends over when you start meeting the other kids in town.” Walter pointed to each chair individually as he spoke, as if to emphasize how many areas the small room had for sitting. Paeden had to admit it was small, but it wasn’t too shabby; most people would probably call it cozy even! There were chairs of various sizes ranging from little wooden stools to a big, plush armchair in the corner, an almost pristine fireplace, various tinkering projects for things Paeden couldn’t identify on a small table, and a few blankets strewn all over the room. The walls were pretty bare with only a few pictures of some humans Paden didn’t recognize, but he assumed them to be Walter’s family pre-transformation. They all seemed to be smiling happily in a way that made Paeden’s heart sink slightly; he’d usually see kids come in looking like that at the Bull-E-Wug’s when they were just there to be spectators instead of fighters. Usually Paeden would say he was too cool to just be watching the matches- he had to keep his win/lose streak going!- but some days, he’d see a kid come in who looked happier than most and Paeden would wonder what it felt like to come in and not be expected to get the shit beaten out of you.

“Hey, uh,” Paeden started slightly as he felt a cold, webbed hand on his shoulder. He looked away from the picture to find a concerned Walter. “You okay, sport?”

“First off, we’re not doing sport. That’s a bit much.”

“Yeah, I thought it was weird as I was saying it.” Walter rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “But seriously, is something wrong?”

“Nah, it’s all good! The P-man was just admiring your decor skills,” Paeden found it easy to shrug off his feelings from the past minute or so. “Was this your family?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. That’s my wife and son from before the- uh- incident.” Walter clearly looked uncomfortable, not even pretending to fully look at the paintings on the wall. “I keep those up because it’s nice to remember them.”

“That makes sense.” Paeden nodded in what he hoped seemed to be understanding. He hadn’t known Walter for very long, but he felt like Walter was a nice guy. Walter seemed concerned for Paeden’s wellbeing, so maybe this relationship could work! And learning how to make cool swords was always a plus! “What’s next on the tour, Walt?”

Walter looked unimpressed and crossed his arms. “Just call me Walter for now, please. And let’s go to the kitchen next.”

Walter walked about ten steps away from Paeden and turned around with his arms outstretched. “This is the kitchen. I’m a pretty good cook, so we can figure out what you like and add that to the shopping list. Breakfast is pretty early and I usually have lunch around noon, but sometimes dinner can be pretty late if I’m working on a particularly complicated piece; if you get hungry before a meal, I usually have some fruit or whatever lying around. I won’t expect you to cook meals, but some help would be appreciated!”

“I’ve never really cooked before,” Paeden admitted, jumping up on the counter to look in Walter’s cabinets. They were pretty sparse, with three or four plates, mix-match cups of all shapes and sizes, and a bowl or two tucked away in the corner. Everything about this house definitely screamed that Walter had been living alone for a while and could use some company. Good thing he’s got such a badass to hang out with now, Paeden thought with a smile.

“Get down from there! I have a stepladder you could use if you want something from up there,” Walter shouted, his froggy eyes bulging in surprise. “Besides, that’s not where I keep the snacks; that’s for like flatware and stuff. The snacks are in the pantry where they’re easy to reach.”

“I wasn’t looking for snacks yet, man, just looking around. I can get down though, no biggie.” Paeden flipped down with the most grace and precision his tiny body could muster, as if he had rolled a natural 20 on an acrobatics check. Walter visibly relaxed once Paeden returned to the ground. “So when we cook, do you think I could wield the knives? No veggie stands a chance when Paeden’s behind the cutting board!”

The stress immediately returned to Walter’s face and Paeden briefly wondered if frogs can get wrinkles as his new dad replied, “We can- uh- cross that road when we get there. Let’s just keep going with the tour for now.”

Walter gestured vaguely for Paeden to follow as he was led down a bare hallway. There were three doors, all matching brown wood and nearly indistinguishable. Paeden would need to find a way to mark whichever room was his because there was no way he’d remember which was which otherwise.

“This first door leads to my room- I usually keep the door closed, but don’t hesitate to knock or come in if you ever need me- and then the second door is the bathroom. The door across from that one is your bedroom! It’s not much, but I was figuring we could fix it up the way you like later after you’re settled.”

“Oh sweet!” Paeden said, making a beeline for his room. He had never had his own room before! He wasn’t sure what to expect when he threw open the door, but Walter was right; the room was sparse. It consisted of a child’s size bed with a very well-loved looking purple and blue quilt, next to the bed was a single nightstand with a small lamp on top, a window and a toy chest could be seen in the corner next to an open door closet. Everything was covered in a thin layer of dust as if the room had been untouched for a while. It was definitely going to require the Paeden touch, but Paeden figured he could work with this for now; it was definitely an upgrade compared to the backroom he had slept in at Bull-E-Wug’s.

“So…” Walter said with a clearing of his throat. He looked around the room as if taking in a new sight as well. “What do you think?”

Paeden surveyed the room with a hand on his chin. “It definitely needs some style, but I think I can work with it! Thanks, Walter!”

“No problem,” Walter said, visibly relaxing. “So do you have anything to unpack or do you want to be alone for a minute? If not, then we can continue the tour.”

“Can we finally check out the forge I keep hearing about? It sounds cool as hell!”

“Language.” Walter’s face soured momentarily. Paeden made a note to either acclimate Walter to swearing or to cool it, but that would be a task for later because what Walter said next sounded infinitely cooler. “But, I guess we can head out that way since you’ll be helping me do my work eventually. Come on, it’s out back.”

“Fuck yeah!”

“Language!”

Walter led Paeden back to the kitchen and headed for a back door that Paeden hadn’t noticed on his first inspection of the room (an 11 would only give you so much after all). The backyard was roomier than Paeden expected! Daylight was still filtering its way through the vanishing vampire spell, but it was bright enough for Paeden to see a small hut and the stone walls of what he assumed to be Walter's workplace.

“Over there is where my chickens live, I’ll probably take you over there to introduce you after we check out my workshop. You’ll be helping me in here, but I’m also going to have you do some chores around the house and helping me take care of the chickens will probably be one of them.” Walter explained as he pulled open a little gate and gestured for Paeden to enter.

Paeden grimaced at the mention of chores, but his expression soon changed when he saw the glorious view that was Walter’s smithy. Paeden felt his mouth gape open as he looked over the giant anvil in the middle of the room right in front of a beautiful forge that was glowing a gentle orange in the midst of cooling coals. Paeden’s eyes wandered to the rack of tools nearby, all hung neatly in a row were more hammers and tongs than Paeden ever knew existed! Granted, he didn’t know much about blacksmithing, but he could tell there were a lot!

“What do you think?”

“This is rad as hel- I mean, heck!” Paeden said excitedly, glad he remembered Walter’s dislike of cursing. “So when do I get to learn to make cool swords and sh-stuff?”

Walter squinted for a moment as if sizing Paeden up, a feeling he was well acquainted with. “Well, probably not for a while. I figured you could help me with some of the commissions I’ve got right now and then maybe I could teach you the basics once you get into the swing of things. Maybe we’ll start with some small stuff in a few weeks.”

“A few weeks?!?” Paeden yelped. “Why can’t we start training me now?”

“You can think of helping me out like we’re starting your training now, but I want you to get situated and see how things work before I give you any personal projects.” Walter replied, looking out the little window. “We can start tomorrow, it’s getting dark out and I want you to meet the chickens before it’s time for them to roost.”

“But we just got here! I thought you wanted me to learn to be a blacksmith?”

“Honestly right now, I just wanted you to see what the shop looked like so you know where it is.” Walter shrugged, turning to finally walk out the door. “Besides, I think you’ll like the chickens. They’ve got a lot of personality.”

“They’re probably not cooler than that bigass ax hanging up.” Paeden grumbled, crossing his arms and begrudgingly following Walter. He shot the forge one last longing look before leaving the room for the night. Paeden didn’t know much about chickens and honestly hadn’t seen a live one up close before so he was a little excited, but nothing could top the excitement he felt about soon learning to make his own weapons.

The chickens were all lazily grazing around their coop. The flock seemed to be a decent size and contained a variety of breeds of various colors ranging from speckled gray to a rich brown. The big one that Paeden assumed was the rooster was a mix of black and gold that shimmered in the retreating sun as he strutted about, watching over his hens like a hawk. The coop itself didn’t seem to be too special, a small wooden structure with one door for people, one ramp for the chickens to climb up, a newly thatched roof, and seemed to be surrounded by various greenery that contrasted with the rest of the coop’s muted colors.

“What’s with the plants?” Paeden asked, approaching the coop as the chickens scattered from him. Paeden didn’t recognize all the herbs, but he could definitely recognize a mint and garlic-y scent; an odd combination for sure, but Walter was the expert here.

“Oh, those are to keep bugs and stuff away from the coop. It’s a lot easier to keep them away with plants than to use magic or poisons. I’ve got lavender to keep away mosquitoes, rosemary and mint for other random pests, and garlic bulbs are around to keep away mice.”

“And vampires?”

“Oh definitely to keep out vampires.” Walter nodded solemnly. “Though I probably won't have to worry about them trying to steal my chickens anymore now that the main guy is… dead.”

“How’d you keep the plants alive with no sunlight?”

“I traded a druid a bunch of magical arrows and a sword to teach me to cast Daylight. It doesn’t completely replace the sunlight, but I’ve gotten pretty good at casting it. I tried using it against one of the vampires once, but it didn’t really do anything besides blind her long enough for me to get away.” Walter shrugged as if that was as mundane as going to ask your neighbor for a cup of sugar.

“You can make magic weapons???” Paeden immediately bowed in reverence. “Teach me your ways, oh wise and slimy one.”

“Slimy?” Walter frowned, rubbing his webbed hand across one of his arms. “I’m not slimy, I feel pretty smooth. Besides, magic weapons are way harder to make than regular ones and I haven’t even started training you to make those yet; you’ve got to build your skills up to that, man.”

Paeden pouted slightly, mumbling. “I bet I could learn to make them pretty easy.”

Walter smiled and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? You’re supposed to be getting to know the flock right now; you’re going to be seeing them a lot, so you might as well make friends.”

“Why do I need to make friends with the chickens? They’re just dumb birds.”

“It’ll be easier for you to collect eggs and stuff if they like you.” Walter answered, looking slightly offended at the thought that Paeden wouldn’t want to be friends with the chickens. “Some of the hens are pretty sassy, especially Nettles. She’s still trying to figure out her place in the pecking order so she’s a bit quick to bite, though Darjeeling is the head hen.”

Paeden looked to where Walter was pointing and saw a small hen staring intently back at him from the nest box. She wasn’t weak looking, but she was definitely smaller than the others so Paeden figured she must be younger. Paeden narrowed his eyes as he approached the hen, trying to feel her vibe. Something about the way she looked definitely gave him a sense that she was something special. It was almost like she had the eye of the tiger.

Nettles tilted her head slightly as Paeden approached, almost as if she were sizing him up too like Paeden was her opponent in the ring. She was a rust color that slowly became mottled with black and flecks of gray the farther down her body you looked. The closer Paeden approached, the larger she seemed to become, almost as if she was puffing up, and she began to let out a low croon.

“Paeden, I wouldn’t get much closer-” Walter began to warn.

“The P-man isn’t here to make friends,” Paeden interrupted, staring down the chicken even harder, “I’m going to show this chicken who’s bo- OW!”

Right at that moment, Paeden had gotten close enough for Nettles to peck him right between the eyes; it was a sharp tap, a clear warning sign, but it still hurt like hell and was shocking enough to cause Paeden to jump back. This caused a chicken behind Paeden to become startled and dart right between his legs. Paeden fell down as fast as if the chicken had swept his legs.

“Paeden!” Walter cried, rushing over to his new son. “Are you okay??”

Paeden wasn’t hurt, Paeden was impressed. Maybe this Nettles was a worthy opponent yet, but such a rival would require a better name. From that moment on, Nettles would become… Paeden Jr!

“I told you that you needed to introduce yourself first!” Walter continued, Paeden’s face in his hands as Walter scanned for damage. “Nettles is testy even to me, there’s no way she’d let you get close on your first day here!”

Paeden looked at Walter with as serious a face as he could muster, now taking Walter’s face in his own hands. “Walter, I swear this to you, that chicken will become my best friend.”

“Uh… okay?” Walter looked relieved that Paeden seemed okay and not discouraged by the pecking. Walter stood up and helped Paeden to his own feet. “I was thinking we could start off by feeding them together; that way they’ll start associating you with food and build up a trust. Then it’ll be your responsibility to collect eggs in the morning. That sound good?”

Paeden hated the idea of chores, but he figured it was the least he could do since Walter was his new dad and all. “Yeah, man, sounds good!”

“Cool.” Walter nodded. “Let me just get everyone in their roost for the night and then we can go have dinner.”

Walter was able to round up his precious flock and shut them in their coop with practiced ease. Paeden watched as he coaxed the rooster back into the roost with promised treats and took mental notes; if he was going to make these chickens like him, he’d need strategy and it was good to know they were so food oriented. Walter assured Paeden that the chickens were easy to get along with as the two headed back into the house, but Paeden was busy cooking up a plan of his own. He thought about maybe sneaking those chickens some extra snacks later; now that the vampires were gone, Paeden wasn’t worried about wandering into the night because he knew he was the biggest man on the block now. No one stands a chance against the P-man, Paeden thought, puffing his chest with pride.

Dinner was also an easy affair. Walter had made a fairly simple dish of meat and potatoes, that was as flavorful as it was tender; living alone for so long had made Walter an excellent cook and Paeden found himself looking forward to his next meal, which wasn’t a feeling he knew very often. After supper, Walter and Paeden retired to the living room to get to know each other a little better before bed. Walter told Paeden of his daily routine: get up with the sun, eat breakfast, do his morning housework, tend to the chickens and their plants, work on whatever blacksmith commissions he had, lunch, finish his work for the day, tend to the chickens some more, put them away when it gets dark, dinner, do the wash up, and then relax until bedtime. With Paeden helping out, the work shouldn’t take as long so Walter expected that soon enough the two would have more time to spend together. Paeden winced at the thought of doing chores, he had done those at Bull-E-Wug’s sometimes when he wasn’t participating in a match and they were never pleasant. Just got to keep it up so Walter will teach me to blacksmith, Paeden reminded himself, then I’ll get to make some fucking sweet weapons!

Soon enough, it was time to retire. Paeden tried to get himself situated as Walter tucked him in and turned off the light, but he found himself having difficulty. The bed was comfortable enough and Paeden was cozy, but it was too quiet. He’d never had his own room before, it was always filled with the noises of kids tossing and turning in fitful rest or of loud, dad snores. Paeden wasn’t sure exactly what to do with so much silence, but he found himself soon distracted by a glow that began to appear above him. At first Paeden thought it was a ghost or maybe some kind of monster, but he felt himself awed as he looked up to see soft green glowing stars and moons. They were arranged like the stars outside and seemed to be identical to the constellations you would see if you looked outside that moment, all except for one. In the far corner was a small group of stars shaped to be like a little smiley face and some text. I love you, son! the words read and Paeden figured Walter had made this ceiling art for his other kid, but Paeden soon found himself relaxing with a sleepy little smile as he imagined those words to be for him.

“Paeden!” a hushed voice spoke, jostling Paeden slightly.

“Ngh, go away! I’m tryin’ to sleep!” Paeden mumbled, not even opening his eyes as he rolled over.

“Paeden, it’s time to get up. We gotta get ready if you want to help me make an ax today! It’s going to be pretty sweet!”

“Fuck yeah!” At the word ax, Paeden was up and ready to go; greeted by a slightly disgruntled looking Walter who was crossing his arms, Paeden smiled sheepishly. “I mean- uh- frick yeah?”

“I guess that’s better.” Walter sighed. “I’m gonna have to start up a swear jar or something at this point, I don’t want you cursing so much. But come on, I’ve already made breakfast.”

Paeden followed Walter into the kitchen where he was immediately hit with the scent of freshly made oatmeal and eggs. “It’s not much, but I did put some fruit in the oatmeal and the eggs are pretty fresh.”

“Did you already go see the chickens?” Paeden asked,hopping up onto the vacant seat with the grace of a natural 19.

“Not yet, these eggs are from yesterday. I figured I’d let you sleep in while I made breakfast, but you’re still going to help me with my chores.”

“What’s this about a sweet ax we’re making? That sounds pretty cool!”

“I got an order from Orin Willowguard- he’s a regular of mine- and he needs a new battle ax for a quest he’s going to go on. He said it doesn’t need to be anything fancy since he’s just going to go clear out an old underground castle, so I figured it would be an easy first project for us to do together.”

“Hell yeah! That sounds cool as fu-”

“Language!”

After breakfast, Paeden helped Walter with the dishes and they both went to go feed the chickens their first meal of the day. The chickens were less weary of Paeden the second time around, but they could have also just been excited to leave their pin for food. Paeden tried to touch Paeden Jr, but she just pecked him again like she did yesterday. She��s getting stronger, Paeden noted, seeing as the peck hurt slightly more today.

Paeden was bouncing with excitement as the two approached the shop once again and he found the sight just as breathtaking as he did yesterday. It was stone cold inside due to the lack of fire, but Walter assured Paeden it would warm up fairly quickly.

“Today I think I’ll just have you work the bellows and watching me so you can get a feel for how this type of work goes; but first, I’m going to need you to put on this gear to protect you.” Walter said, gesturing to the aprons and various other garb. “The apron is enchanted to be fireproof, but you’ll still need to be careful. If you don’t listen to me and watch out for yourself then I won’t let you be my apprentice, understand?”

“Yes, dad,” Paeden said, rolling his eyes. But he complied with Walter’s safety wishes and allowed him to help Paeden put on the apron, gloves, goggles, and the bandana Walter tied over his hair. He had meant for the ‘dad’ comment to be sarcastic, but Paeden saw Walter’s face light up slightly after he had said it so Paeden decided that maybe it wasn’t as sarcastic as he intended.

Walter then showed Paeden where he would be working and explained that Paeden would be the one in charge of keeping the fire hot enough to make the metal malleable, which excited Paeden greatly. The bellows were fairly easy to maneuver, all Paeden had to do was pull two boards apart to fill a leather bag with air and then squeeze them back together to make the gust of air shoot to the base of the fire. The boards were somewhat hard to pull and push so Paeden quickly began to feel some strain in his arms along with the intense heat of the fire. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Walter instructed him to stop so Paeden could come watch the next step.

“You can tell the metal is ready to work with because of the color change. See how its bright white and glowing? That means it’s insanely hot and we can’t touch it with our hands so I’m going to use these tongs and have you hold it while I hammer. The first step to any good double edged battle ax is to punch out where the handle is going to go with this punch,” Walter showed Paeden what looked like a metal wedge and hammer. “You put this in the middle of the ingot and hammer it down until you get to the middle like this.”

Walter gave Paeden the tongs to hold the ingot steady as Walter adjusted the wedge and raised his hammer. He brought it down with a satisfying crack! that sent a beautiful wave of sparks off the piece. Walter did this a few more times, each whack harder than the last, and Paeden watched with great interest as the wedge slid down farther and farther into the metal like it was just butter. Satisfied with how far it had gone, Walter removed the wedge and had Paeden stoke the fire with the bellows to get the metal white hot again. Once it was ready, Walter flipped the ingot to the other side. Walter took great care to make sure it was properly centered once more before he began to hammer out the other side.

“Now that we’ve got the handle hole started, we need to make it bigger using these drifts. We can’t do it all at once though or else we’ll snap the metal, so we have to take it slow.” Walter said, showing Paeden his current progress. It went on that way for a while, Walter using a slightly wider wedge on one side of the piece, Paeden reheating it so Walter could do the same to the other side, and then Walter starting the process over again with a bigger drift. “This part and actually making the blades usually take the longest, but I think this should be wide enough. The handle’s made of some wood I’ve already carved, so we’ll have to add that in last. Now we need to heat the metal again and then take it over to the anvil to start flattening out the parts that’ll be the edges. You want to take the first swing?”

“Yeah, man!” Paeden nodded excitedly, “I was born to hit things super hard!”

“Do you want to take a break first? This work can be a lot for your first time.”

“Nah, let’s get to hitting!”

“Alright then, start blowing the fire.”

Paeden used the bellows with as much gusto as his tiny arms possibly could while also trying to work as evenly as possible since apparently things could be heated too fast. Soon enough, Walter called Paeden back up and led him to the anvil.Walter handed Paeden the hammer and Paeden immediately dropped to the ground with a heavy thud.

“Woah! Are you okay?” Walter asked worriedly, helping Paeden lift the hammer so he could stand.

“Yep, don’t worry about ol’ Paeden!” Paeden said with great strain in his voice as he shifted his balance so he could hold the hammer correctly. “I just wasn’t expecting the weight is all. We call that rolling a 3 in the UFC biz.”

“Are you sure you still want to try to swing the hammer? You can try again after you’ve built some strength up.”

“Nah, it’s good! Paeden’s got this, watch! Hup!” With all the strength Paeden could muster, he brought the hammer down with a soft thud and barely made a dent. Paeden fist bumped the air though, proud that he successfully made a 10 hit.

“Not bad for a first try,” Walter smiled, inspecting the impact. “But watch a master at work.”

Walter quickly pounded into the metal with all the gusto a 24 strength check could give. Even with all that muscle behind it though, it still took a few minutes and a couple of reheats to get the ingot to begin resembling half an ax. Paeden was entranced watching Walter work and it quickly sparked an idea in him that he was excited to run by Walter when they took their break. Walter instructed Paeden on doing the same things to the right side of the ax that they had done to the left and the two quickly finished hammering. Walter looked at the clock he had set up by the door and announced that the two could have lunch before the began to sharpen the ax. Paeden felt slightly grateful that it was over because his arms were exhausted.

For lunch, Walter whipped the two up a couple of simple sandwiches and some more fruit. Walter apologized for the simplicity of the meal but Paeden felt it was next to ambrosia after the hard work the two had been putting into making that ax.

“So how do you like forging so far?” Walter asked as the two ate. “It’s not too bad, is it?”

“No, it’s great! I can’t wait to start making my own stuff!” Paeden took a big gulp of his water before continuing, “Say, do you think I could make one of those axes? A friend of mine uses one already and I think I could make him an even better one! I want to remake all the daddies’ weapons as thanks for bringing me here.”

“That’s sweet of you, but axes are a bit difficult for a first time solo project. Could you try making one of the others first?”

Paeden thought carefully for a moment. “Well, Henry’s got magic so he doesn’t really use a weapon; I was thinking I could make him a shit ton of knives and like smash them together in a way that they could like fold up and be really easy to carry around, but each knife could be bigger than the last in a real cool way!”

“A bunch of knives wouldn’t be bad. What else?”

“Glenn uses these sweet things he calls nunchucks; they’re like two metal tubes chained together, but I was thinking I could add something to make them metal as hell. Like knives! Or… or glass! Hell yeah!”

“Ugh, what have I said about the language?” Walter grimaced, “And I don’t think you could put glass into metal like that safely.”

“Is that a challenge?” Paeden squinted his eyes, making a not to use glass shards instead of more knives for Glenn.

“No it wasn’t.” Walter said flatly. “But what about that other dude… Ron? What does he use?”

“Oh, he’s got like these business cards that are super sharp or something? I think he throws them at people, but I’ve only ever really seen him do it a few times.”

“That could be a good one to start with!” Walter nodded encouragingly. “That way you could work on using the hammers to flatten stuff and you can practice your sharpening skills.”

“So you’ll let me?” Paeden brightened up, feeling himself begin to bounce in excitement.

“Let’s finish this ax and whatever other projects I have to do this week, then we’ll talk about getting you started on those business cards. Does that sound fair to you?”

“Fuck yeah! Let’s do it!”

“Language!”

But Paeden wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy thinking about the prospect of his new projects. Paeden had been in some weird situations- those tend to happen when you’re a kid in the UFC ring who runs off with a bunch of dads after agreeing to throw a fight for one of them- but this definitely was the coolest and most comfortable. Walter seemed like a great guy, a great dad even, and Paeden knew he was in good hands. He didn’t know when the dads would be back so he could give them their gifts, but Paeden knew things were okay until then. He could already tell that life with Walter was gonna be alright.

#dndads winter gift exchange 2022 #walter the immoral #paeden bennetts #dndads season 1

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