#just had a lot of feelings about Ella today

[alotofpockets]

The Tooney and Russo Show | Alessia Russo x Williamson!Reader, Leah Williamson x Sister!Reader & Ella Toone x Platonic!Reader

Where you take over hosting The Tooney & Russo show when Vick is sick.

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.2k

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“Tooney, you’ve made it!” Alessia stood up and hugged her best friend. You were meeting Ella for breakfast before heading to the studio to film their last podcast episode for the season. “How was the trip?” You asked after you gave her a hug as well.

Ella sat down with a sigh, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the tube is not my friend.” You shared a knowing look with your girlfriend before you both chuckled, Ella and tubes didn’t go together, and she would complain about them every single time. Alessia and Vick had offered to get a studio in Manchester and make the trip over, but Ella insisted that it was more practical if only one person would have to travel. Yet, she often brought her boyfriend with her, so the one person only rule rarely applied. Either way, it was always great when Ella was in town.

“Is Leah not here yet?” You shake your head, “You know my sister, always a busy schedule.” The two Lionesses nodded in agreement, “She said she’d join us when her meeting was done though.”

Just when your food was delivered to the table, Leah made her way through the door. “Sorry I’m late.” You all greet her with a hug and wave off her apologies. The four of you were having a great time chatting over breakfast, when both Alessia’s and Ella’s phones buzzed at the same time. It was a message from Vick, letting them know that she’s sick to the point where she has lost her voice, so she won’t be able to make it to the shoot.

While Alessia and Ella started discussing their options, you were thinking. “I can host it.” Three pairs of eyes met you in question. “Come on, it will be fun! I know all of you, and the fans know me as well.” It didn’t take much to convince them of your idea.

“Hello and welcome to this very special episode of The Tooney and Russo Show with me not Vick Hope.” Alessia and Ella cheered excitedly and Alessia announced “It’s the season finale!” 

“As you can hear and see, I am not Vick. Sadly Vick had to miss out because she’s sick, but I am here to step in. My name is Y/n Williamson, and yes the last name should tell you all you need to know. Speaking of Williamson’s, I am not the only one of them here today. My sister, Captain of the Lionesses, Leah Williamson is our guest for this episode.”

The four of you chat for a bit about the relationship with Leah on and off the pitch. It was an easy environment and it felt like it was just a chat between friends, which of course really it was. 

“Oh and before any of you start saying Tooney is the third wheel because Y/n is my girlfriend and Leah’s sister.” She looked between the two of you with a chuckle, “Let me tell you that those two are like the same person.”

“They really are.” Leah chimes in. “Sometimes when I see Y/n with Ella and Alessia, I think she might be dating Ella instead.” 

“In another life.” You joke, getting a laugh out of the Lionesses trio. “Yeah, we are pretty similar. We have the same sense of humour, and have a lot of the same opinions on things. When Less started dating her, I was afraid that maybe my bond with Less would be affected, but I think Y/n made us even closer.”

“Yeah, sometimes I even feel like the third wheel with them.” Alessia laughs. “But you love it.” Ella says in defence. “Yeah I do, I’m glad the two of you get along so well.”

“At this point, I think we annoy Leah and Alessia equally.” You say proudly, and Ella agrees with you. ”You two are a nightmare when you team up against us.” Leah says teasingly. “But we love you.” Alessia follows up quickly.

When everyone was done laughing you moved onto the next topic. You asked about them winning the Euros and how football changed in England after, and how Alessia’s move from United to Arsenal was through the perspective of her former and new club teammate.

“I actually had a question for you, Y/n.” Ella put out into the group. “What’s it like having the England captain, the woman that is the face of English football, as your sister?”

“That is an interesting question actually. I admire her for everything she has done and is doing, and I am so proud of her and to be her sister, but at home she’s just my sister. We still argue about who gets the last ham sandwich, and who took the last cookie from the jar.” You joke.”

“Oh yeah,” Alessia hooks on, “The love for ham sandwiches runs in the family, it’s not just Leah.”

“I’ve got another question!” Ella perks up. You chuckle, “If you wanted to host, you could’ve just said so.” She sends you a challenging look, before biting back. “Wouldn’t have to if you did your job right.” You chuckle, “Okay fine, you win this one. What’s your question?”

“Well, I know the story, but I’ve seen some comments from fans wanting to hear how Less and Y/n got together, with Leah being Less her captain and all.” You glance at Alessia, letting her speak for the both of you.

“Oh that is an interesting one. Many people think Leah wouldn’t have liked us getting together, but she actually told me to ask Y/n out.” Leah nodded, “Yeah, they kept looking at each other with heart eyes, and I couldn’t take their pining any longer. Every time I was trying to eat my ham sandwich in peace, they would just be all gross.”

You raised your shoulders, “Even I was shocked when Less told me that Leah approved. Now it makes sense though. Leah has always protected me and Jacob, and wants us to be happy. She knows Less and knew that she would treat me right.”

“Alright alright, we get it love birds, don’t ruin my appetite for lunch with your sappiness.” Leah jokes. “Speaking of lunch, I think we’re about ready to go have some. Thank you everyone who has stuck with the Tooney and Russo Show all season, personally I cannot wait for them to start on another season. As always, send in your questions and it could be featured in one of the next episodes!”

As you finished your sentence, the three girls waved to the camera and said bye. The cameras and microphones got turned off, and that concluded the first season of the podcast. “That was so fun!” Leah agreed, “Yeah, thank you so much for letting me be a part of this.”

After the four finished lunch, you went your separate ways again. You and Alessia made your way home, her hand in yours as you strolled the streets. “You were a natural, darling.” You smiled, “Yeah? It was a lot of fun, thank you for allowing me to join you.”

“Mhm! Vick might fear for her job when she sees the episode.” Your girlfriend jokes with a little nudge to your shoulder. “Hmm, as much as I loved hosting, Vick is a much better host. Plus that way I can just sit behind the scenes and look at you with heart eyes all episode.

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[finelinevogue]

spreading the love

summary - harry’s fans LOVE you

pairing - fiancé!harry x reader

word count - ~2k

The fans absolutely loved you.

Probably more so than Harry sometimes.

You were often the subject headline of news articles that were actually about Harry. You were often asked about in interviews that Harry was doing. You were often stopped before Harry on the streets. Not that Harry minded in the slightest because, well, he understood.

Obviously, no one could love you more than he did but he understood the publics addiction towards you.

You hadn’t come from much and you weren’t a name people knew before you started dating Harry. Somehow, somewhere, along the way you had become a somebody.

And everyone adored you.

Whether it was your kind nature, you loving heart, your gorgeous smile or your generous soul, you never went unloved by anyone. Not even the cruelest hearted person could have anything bad to say about you.

You loved being involved with the fans too. You often gave a lot back to them just because they were the most dedicated and loyal people you knew.

You loved how much they loved your Harry.

“Hello, hello!” You tucked your hair behind your ear as you started your Instagram live.

Your viewers shot up from 3k to 104k in ten seconds - that’s how popular you had become with the fans and media.

“How are we all today? Feeling good? I’m feeling good since it’s a Friday. It’s my weekend off tomorrow.”

Everyone knew that you were an NHS nurse and did so much for the people you worked with and beside, which only added to the cause of people loving you.

ellaking107: what are you doing with your weekend off?💛

“Hi Ella! This weekend I am staying home with Harry. We have got a very boring weekend planned unfortunately. Our bathroom is having a redecoration and so we need to wait for the tile man to pop in at some point so he can start measuring up bits and pieces. I’m sure H will drag me for a run or to a pilates class too.”

You were situated in your lounge, lots of plants and good lighting surrounding you.

harryissmiling101: Where is Harry?

“Ummm, so Harry is currently at his mum’s. Maybe this is too much information, but his mum’s fridge broke and so all her food went off. Harry and I made loads of dishes though last night for her, so Harry’s dropped them all off along with a spare fridge we had. I know… Don’t ask why we had a spare fridge.”

You watched as you cat, Kira, came through the lounge door and hopped up onto the sofa you were sat on. You turned the camera so everyone could see her.

“My child says hello to you all. Don’t you Ki?” You began stroking her little black and white chin. “Oh you’re so gorgeous. I love you so much.”

haileyjudd: Harry or Kira?

“Hailey I can’t believe you’re even asking me that… Hailey said, choose between Harry and Kira. Honey, there’s no doubt about it. Obviously, Kira.” You laughed.

You knew some magazine would twist your words later and make it seem like you and Harry were going through a rocky patch in your relationship, but you knew the truth. Harry was completely whipped for you and there wasn’t a single chance he was leaving you. Ever. Then again, the feeling is very mutual.

Kira came closer to you and sat in your lap, nestling herself deep into the blanket you had draped over the top of you.

jammiiie: Are you single please?

“Hi Jamie, potentially.. maybe… Uh, no. I am not single and this will remain my answer indefinitely.” You smiled, thinking about how clingy Harry would get if you had read that out whilst he was say next to you.

Harry doesn’t get jealous, oh no.

He gets clingy. And you love it.

You love when he’s constantly doting on you; kissing you. He loved on you like he has to remind you your his (even though you always will be).

harriesassemble: Y/N can I ask you a question? My boyfriend told me that I have to shave (you know where) but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. How do I tell him? (Don’t answer if you feel uncomfortable)🤍

“Wait.. Hang on a second..” You spoke slowly, slowing the speed of the comments as you traced back to a comment that caught your attention.

“Hi, sorry I’m not sure what your name is, but I hope you are still here and know I’m speaking to you!“ You re-read out loud the comment posted so everyone knew what you were going to talk about. “So, first of all, girl to girl, if he is forcing you to do something as personal as shaving yourself then, my love, he’s not worth your time or breath.”

ophelialover: oh i am so here for y/n’s girl talk time

harrielover: y/n is so big sister coded

“Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. Do not force yourself to be making changes to yourself just to please a man, or any significant other for that matter. If Harry ever forced me to make a change to myself I didn’t want, he knows where the door is. Seriously, honey, you’re perfect and never change unless you want to.”

harriesassemble: Thank you!🩷

kingsofharry: You’re amazinf Y/N <33

justkeepdriving: WE LOVE YOU Y/N

liked by y/nl/nofficial and 1,976 others

harriesassemble i can’t believe y/n just followed me i am in shock right now :((( she’s my favourite person in the whole world and everything they said to me this evening was just so special:(( im shaking so bad i love y/n so much❤️

view all 394 comments

harryfan1 OH THIS IS SO COOL

harryfan2 omg you were who y/n was talking to??? congrats!!!!!

y/nl/nofficial You’re amazing!💛

harryfan3 we stan y/n

••••••••••

London was quite busy today.

Lots of tourists bustling through the city as well as the daily commuters wandering around on their lunch breaks.

Harry had decided to take the afternoon off since you also had it off, organising to take you for a bite to eat and a coffee at your favourite cafe.

It was a cafe bookstore, so you got to browse books whilst waiting for your food and then got to sit amongst the books whilst you ate. It was a dream fantasy of yours as a child and you’re grateful someone brought that fantasy to life.

Harry held your hand securely as you wandered through the London streets.

Luckily Harry had secured a paparazzi ban years ago that meant that no paps were legally allowed to take photos of Harry in London, so it was just fan photos that you had to be aware of.

“Angela asked me to give her your number again today.” You said to Harry.

“She’s relentless.” Harry laughed.

“She just wants to know when her future grandson-in law is going to become her in-law.”

“Baby, I’ve told you before - I’m not asking until I’m ready.” He squeezed your hand.

“No, I know. I just want Nana Angela to be alive when we get married.”

“She will be. I promise.”

You both came to a stop at a red pedestrian light. Harry pulled you back slightly, because he knew that you liked to stand far too close to the edge of the pavement.

You looked up to Harry, watching as he took in his surroundings through a pair of brown sunglasses.

“C’mere a minute.” You said, directing his head to face you.

You reached up and unclipped your claw clip from his hair and ruffled the locks until he had a messy middle parting. You bit the clip between your teeth as you messed with his hair.

“What was wrong with m’hair?” He chuckled.

“Prefer it down like this.” You shrugged your shoulders and clipped the claw clip to the top of your jumper.

You smiled at your handy work.

He looked even more handsome now.

As you crossed the road, you spotted someone with a Love on Tour tote bag. It was one of the newest ones. It was being carried by a girl in her early 20s, maybe.

You poked Harry and pointed him towards the girl.

“She had good taste in music.” He joked.

You didn’t mean to follow this girl, but only happened to stop at another pedestrian red light next to her. You stood beside her and noticed she had headphones on.

You couldn’t help yourself from nudging her shoulder. As you prodded her, she gasped and cupped a hand over her mouth in shock. She quickly took off her headphones and giggled a hi out.

“Love the tote bag!” You smiled brightly.

“Ha ha thank you! Oh my God I can’t believe you’re actually here right now.” She laughed.

“Yup. Both of us.” You pulled Harry a little closer into you.

“Hi, you alright?” He spoke shyly, as ever when he is introduced to someone new.

“This isn’t real! Holy shit.” The girl laughed the situation off. “I was nearly not going to wear this tote bag today as well.”

“Well it must be a good luck charm then.” You laughed. “Which show did you go to?”

“Wembley night 4.”

“Ahh!! The best one then!” You exclaimed, Harry chuckling from behind you.

You always did this.

You managed to make friends with absolutely anybody on the streets, over the smallest of connections. You especially loved making friends with Harry’s fans.

“Well I think so, but I might be biased.” She shrugged.

“It was one of our favourite shows, wasn’t it H?” You nudged him into the conversation, knowing that he struggles with that.

“Yeah definitely. Wembley was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.” He nodded with a smile, looking at you more so than the girl. “I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the support, it means a lot.”

You internally smiled at the small spiel that you had prepped with him for occasions where he might bump into a fan.

“What was your favourite part?” You asked curiously.

“Sign of The Times in the rain.”

“Oh stop! You’re going to make me force Harry into to going on another tour ASAP just to experience that again.”

“Oh, because of course I can control the rain too love.” Harry laughed, which made you both chuckle with him.

“Shut up.” You judged him in the ribs. “Well it was lovely to meet you…”

“Emma.”

“Emma.” You smiled.

“Thank you for your continued support, Emma.” Harry added. “Would you like a photo?”

“Uh.. Y-yes? Yes please! If that’s okay with you?” Emma politely checked.

“Of course. Just as long as you wait a little bit to post it so our location isn’t instantly publicised.”

“Yes. Of course! Thank you.”

“Here, honey, give me your phone.” You held out your hand, thinking that she would have wanted you to take a photo of just her and Harry.

“You have to be in it too, Y/N!” Emma exclaimed.

“Yeah, Y/N/N.” Harry rolled his eyes at your silliness. “C’mere.” Harry roped his arm around your waist and brought you to stand slightly in front of him. Emma was directly next to you and you all smiled as she lifted her arm to take a selfie. Harry’s cheek was pressed near against yours.

“They okay?” Harry asked.

“Perfect. Thank you guys so much.” Emma smiled so brightly.

After you parted ways you couldn’t help but imagine how electric Emma must be feeling right now. Harry seemed to be happy too, because you were happy after such a heartwarming conversation.

Positive interactions just made for better days.

Later, Emma would post that photo and the comments were even more wholesome.

comment 1: the way y/n and harry are stood so close to each other

comment 2: the fact harry has his literal cheek pressed against y/ns makes me WEEP

comment 3: they look so happy i will cry

•••••••

Another place where you would find wholesome content from the fans was the world of social media.

Normally, with Harry’s previous relationship’s, they would get absolutely hated on social media. There would always be something that would get dug out from someone’s past which meant they weren’t “right” for Harry. All of it was bullshit and Harry’s previous relationships had ended because he never felt “right” with anyone.

Until you.

You were now sat with Harry’s family around a small fire pit in Anne’s back garden.

Her lovely house had a beautiful garden that was perfect for dinner evening drinks and conversations. You often think about returning here with Harry and his last name one day.

“Top up, Y/N?” Anne asked, holding out the bottle red wine up to your wine glass that empty on the table.

“Oh, no thanks Anne.” You warmly smiled.

You were comfortably nestled in Harry’s lap with a blanket drawn over the two of you. Harry was nursing his own red wine with one hand, whilst the other supported your back from where you were sat sideways across his legs. Your head was nuzzled just below his chin and your hands were busy fiddling with his necklaces.

“You okay, m’love?” Harry asked you, so only you could hear.

“Mhm. Wine has made me sleepy.”

“Rest if you need to, i’m right here.” He kissed the top of your head.

You pulled your phone out of your hoodie pocket and opened it up to Twitter.

You followed a multitude of Harry’s fans on Twitter, simply for the shits and giggles. It had become a challenge to see who would be the next person that you would follow.

Scrolling through Twitter you noticed a lot of people reposting a photo of you and Harry that got leaked today. You were both simply walking through the park, but the photo clearly showed you wearing Harry’s hoodie and everyone was screaming over it.

harriesunite: these are my parents

“H, baby, look.” You giggled as you showed him the tweet.

“Hmm?” He tucked his face down into your neck as he read your phone, and leaving your neck warm after he laughed.

“You’re such a dad, apparently.”

“Not yet I’m not.” He kissed your exposed neck, but only once when he remembered he was sat in front of his mum.

“Y’want to be?” You turned your head a little to the side to see him better.

“Whenever you want to be a mum, yeah.” He smiled so brightly.

“Soon.”

“Yeah, soon.” Harry nodded in agreement.

[trulyhblue]

Leah or lessi kid fic after they won the Conti cup!

Lilo’s Sparkle

Mum! Alessia Russo x Child! Reader

Warnings: fluff, mention of injury, very very short.

___________________

You held your head up high, making sure your eyesight was level with the barricade of Alessia’s arms around you.

Your mummy was rocking you, holding you in a small confinement of blankets and an pink sweater. It was cold in Birmingham, but so was every other game your Mummy’s team played at. It was the same at Manchester, and London was no different. The only chance was the people. Auntie Ella only picked you up from your new preschool when she was down South, and you and Mummy would sometimes meet for orange juice at Auntie Ella’s favourite cafe when you were in Manchester.

But today you were in Birmingham, which was a often occurrence. London was your new home. You were accustomed to Manchester, and the weather in England was pretty standard across the country, so there wasn't much to adjust to.

“Do you want to go see Kyra with me, Lilo?”

You looked over at your Aunt Stina. She was perplexed, confronted with mixed emotions. You had teary eyes from the overstimulation, so you just wanted a cuddle.

“Is Stina okay, Mummy? Does she need a hug?”

There was cheering everywhere. Mummy had a very wide grin, and rosy cheeks similar to yours, except you were cold and she was exhausted. The 120-minute frenzy had left you feeling fatigued in your seat on the bench. It was a lot to ask a three-year-old to sit quietly without fuss without the company of her Mummy and her Aunties.

“How bout you ask to see if she wants one, sweets?”

You nodded.

With the comfort of Kyra in the first half, and Leah in the second, you were pretty much well-behaved. But after your favourite Auntie — though Stina Ballerina and Lee Lee never liked you saying that — Frida went down and stretched off the pitch, you instantly grew angsty and agitated. This was only exemplified with Mummy was subbed on in place of.

You ran over to Stina, yanking softly on the woman’s shorts.

“Do you need a cuddle, Auntie Stina?” You asked, fiddling with your zipper as you spoke. Your hood was up upon your Mummy’s discretion, the media attention on you the foremost of her worries.

“Oh, I always need a hug from you, Lilo, älskling.”

“Okay! Thank you!”

Stina knelt down at the feeling your body heat holding onto her calf, swiftly picking you up and cradling you in her grip. Vivi came up behind you, wearing a matching Arsenal jumper, fitting her medal over your neck.

“You scored the winner, Auntie.” You proclaimed, engulfing Stina’s jersey next to your cheek. “You are a superhero Stina. I think your a sparkle.”

Alessia’s giggles were heard not far from where you stood, the thought of you talking about people being a ‘sparkle’ endearing to her.

“Wow, Lilo darling, you think Stina did well?”

“Mummy, of course! She's a sparkle, remember?” You looked between Stina, Vivi, and Mummy. “Mummy and I were calling you a sparkle on the bus after you gave me a cookie, remember? Thank you, Auntie, you really are a star.”

It was considered your thing. To call someone a sparkle was your view of an utmost compliment. You are a star, superior in all ways, and for Stina, she hugged you a little tighter knowing you relished her hard work.

No amount of compliment could outshine a sparkle.

“You are too kind, Lilo,” Stina responded, her blush prominently painting across the bridge of her nose. “Thank you, but you are the biggest sparkle of all.”

You were now pressing your face against the woman’s cheeks, reaching out to play with Mummy’s collar. “Thank you!”

You eventually pushed away from all the celebratory chaos, waddling over to Lee Lee, and Kimmy, knowing they’d provide some serenity to your hyperness.

They were on their way to receiving the trophy, and when you found your way squelched between them, Lee picked you up, placing you inside the trophy with a plonk.

Everyone laughed and cheered as you were lifted into the air, celebrating flambountaly for their sparkle.

Not only as individuals, but as a club.

____________________

alessia

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alessia — dressed in our sparkle attire 🩷🩷

tagged — stinablackstenius

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Stinablackstenius — my absolute favourite compliment from my Äskling 💕

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____________________

[papercorgiworld]

Insecurities and second chances

Mattheo Riddle Fluff

Your brother gets in trouble with Mattheo and you go talk to Mattheo, but things only get more complicated. Thank Salazar for second chances and cute dates.

Warning: Mattheo says a denigrating, suggestive thing, but only once and that’s it

Today’s little cameo is Ella. She’s your friend and Theodore’s girlfriend.

Ella, I hope I did you justice. Again thanks for sending in.

A/N: not really happy about the title, so please ignore it. I’m worried it’s not that good, but I wrote it so I might as well post it. Now enjoy some fluff. Happy readings!

“You did what?” You raise your voice, but immediately lower it when you catch people staring. You grab your brother’s arm and guide him to a quiet corner.

“Hexed his shoelaces.” He whispers and your eyes widen. “You are the one that made Mattheo freaking Riddle trip over his own feet and fall face down to the floor?” Your brother nods with amusement and pride, but it quickly falters. “Yes and I’m pretty sure he knows it’s me.” Your heart starts racing. Your brother was a first class idiot, but you really didn’t want him in trouble with Mattheo. “Please tell me you’re joking?” He shakes his head, but realizes how worried you are and tries to keep you from stressing out. “Look I’ll just avoid him for a while and he’ll forget about it.” You think over his plan, if you could even call it that, and let your eyes wonder. It’s then that you see Mattheo approach. “Hurry, this way.” You whisper urgently and push your brother out of Mattheo’s sight.

You watch your brother quickly make his way down the stairs and you sigh, relieved that you had a little more time to think of a better plan. When you turn around you catch Mattheo staring at you near the door of your potions class. Gods, I’m done for it. He knows it was my idiot of a brother. However, Mattheo quickly looks away and enters the classroom with his friends. You frown, but do the same and take your seat next to your friend.

Ella looks up at you and immediately you spot a joyful glint in her brown eyes. “Merlin, you missed the funniest thing-” You could already guess what she was talking about. “My brother hexed Riddle’s shoelaces and made him trip.” A very amused laugh leaves her lips as she nods. “Hilarious.” She sings and you roll your eyes, but her joy is infectious and you can’t help but smile a little. You were so happy she didn’t change when she started dating the notorious Theodore Nott. At first you were worried that she might turn into a mean girl, but no. After four months she was still your Ella ad since Slughorn hadn’t arrived yet you lean closer to your friend. “My brother is in so much trouble.” She nods with wide eyes, her non-verbal way of telling you he was in a lot of trouble. You bite your lip and scoot a little closer to the brunette. “Can’t you, like, ask Mattheo to be chill about it. You’re Theo’s girl, Mattheo will listen, right?” You question hopefully, but the doubt in your voice is obvious.

Ella smiles. “No, he won’t, but-” She goes silent for a moment and scans the room, obviously checking what her boyfriend is up to, before continuing. “Look, apparently Riddle has a thing for you. So, maybe if you ask, you know, he’ll be nice.” Your mouth drops at your friend's words. “Riddle? That can’t be.” Your whisper comes out harsher than intended and you feel a blush creep up. Ella raises her eyebrows. When you hear Slughorn enter you look up and can’t help but search for Mattheo. You bite your lip and in that exact moment he looks over at you and gives you one of his rare smiles, making your eyes fall to your book in an attempt to hide your flusteredness.

***

Ella had convinced you to join her and Theo at the astronomy tower for a little drink and smoke. You were reluctant, but also seriously worried for your brother. So you decided to tag along and maybe try and catch Mattheo in a good mood.

You can’t help but get nervous as you follow Ella up the stairs of the astronomy tower. Mattheo… a thing… for me? When you reach the top Enzo is the first to greet you. He hands you a drink and you take a sip as you watch Theodore wrap his arms around your friend. In only a few months they had become Hogwarts’ power couple. Part of you wished to have something similar, be safe in someone’s arms like she was. You quickly realize that he’s not gonna let her go any time soon, so you might as well get comfortable talking with the other slytherins.

As soon as your glass is half Enzo fills it again and you give him a playful glare. “You should watch out, he’ll get you drunk in no time.” Mattheo chuckles, appearing next to you. You’re surprised by how relaxed and casual he is. Enzo raises his hands in defence. “Hey, I’m just making sure everyone’s hydrated.” With that he fills Blaise’s glass without him even noticing. You laugh at Lorenzo and turn to Mattheo. ‘I’ll definitely watch my glass, I don’t need a hangover when my day starts with Ancient Runes.” A sweet smile tugs on Mattheo’s lips making you instantly feel drawn to him. “There’s a reason I regularly skip morning classes. I definitely spend to much time here, but the view is worth it.” He points and for the first time that night you take the time to enjoy the view. You walk over to the railing and Mattheo follows you. You were having a lovely evening, finally getting to know Mattheo by talking about the silliest stuff, but things quickly changed when you got to discussing today’s events.

“That little moron is your brother?” That’s why she’s interested in me and laughing at my jokes. What was I thinking, that she would really care about me? You're startled by the coldness in his voice, but nod anyway. “He’s an idiot sometimes, he really doesn’t want any trouble. It’s just a prank.” You notice his jaw clench and you avert your eyes. “So that’s why you’re here? To apologize, because the coward doesn’t dare to show his face.” Now it’s your turn to startle him with coldness as your eyes dart at him with a stern glint in them. “I thought we could come to some kind of agreement, so-” Mattheo shakes his head and snorts, his tongue twisting in his mouth. “So you being all nice and interested was just because you’re worried for your brother.” You want to protest, but he won’t let you as his eyes turn unreadable and wander around, avoiding yours at all cost. “Well, I’m sure we can arrange something, (y/n)… how about you on your knees in my room?” Now that his eyes are finally back on you, you search for that softness again, but it’s nowhere to be found. Your heart breaks at how Mattheo’s soft eyes have turned dark and twisted in just a matter of moments. There’s no reasoning with him. Your hand hits his cheek and both you and Mattheo are surprised by your action. His face is still turned away from you as his hand reaches for his painful face. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees you leave with teary eyes.

”What the hell, Riddle!” You hear Ella scream at Mattheo as she follows you. Theodore watches Ella leave with puppy eyes, before turning his very unamused gaze towards Mattheo. But also Enzo, Blaise and Draco stare at Mattheo with eyes that ask: How did you manage to screw this up?

“What! She was just pretending to be interested.” Mattheo yells at his friends. Draco just stares at his drink like he’s never seen a liquid before, really not wanting to get involved. “She was just worried for her brother, who-” Enzo interrupts Mattheo with a rare stern voice. “Yeah, maybe she came here for a reason, but maybe just maybe if you weren’t such an insecure asshole she would’ve stayed for you.” Blaise and Draco are quick on their feet and keep a furious Mattheo away from a slightly drunk Enzo. Theodore just rolls his eyes, feeling like he’s the only adult.

***

”Ella, Ella!” Mattheo came running up to her, slightly out of breath. She rolls her eyes and turns on her heels. “Look. You’re Theo’s girl, so we’re kinda friends? So I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me with (y/n). Ask her to meet me later.” Ella raises her eyebrows and snorts, before her sarcastic slytherin side kicks in. “I’m sure we can arrange something, Mattheo… how about you on your knees in my room. Or what was it exactly you said to her last night?” Ella’s voice is snarky and filled with contempt for Mattheo. A little defeated, Mattheo’s eyes fall to the floor. “I know I was in the wrong yesterday. I just need another chance.”

“Another chance?” You huff and pick up your books, as Ella frowns. “I know.” You both continue walking to your next class. “But the thing is, Theo was this stupid when we started dating.” You stop abruptly making Ella stumble into you. “Started dating? Okay, but Riddle and I are never dating.” You snapped and she couldn’t help but smirk. “Exactly what I said before Theo and I started d-“ You narrow your eyes and she shuts up, but only for a moment. “Theo and I ship you two.” You roll your eyes.

***

Mattheo stares at the sky waiting for you near the Hogwarts north exit. He hated it, but Enzo was right. He got insecure and overreacted. He had his looks, but aside from that he felt like he had nothing to offer you. Why would you be interested in someone like him? Especially after reacting as nasty as he had, he felt like he had no right to be talking to you. Nevertheless a part of him hoped you would show up. He sighs and drops his head as he leans against a wall. When he hears footsteps closing in he looks up to see your anxious figure approaching. She must feel so shit after what I said.

“You wanted to talk.” You say calmly and he looks at you with that soft look he first had at the astronomy tower. He immediately pushes himself off against the wall closing the space between you. “I want to take you out to this small trinket shop just outside of Hogsmeade.” When you don’t immediately react he gets a little nervous and tries to convince you. “They have all kinds of weird stuff, but also cool notebooks, pillows, mugs and sometimes curious second hand books.” You chew your lip, actually liking the idea, but not really sure what to think about Mattheo after last night. “And if I say no, you’ll beat up my brother, or what?” It was a genuine question, but your words sound harsher than intended. With panic in his eyes he takes a step closer. “No, no. I’ll leave him alone no matter what you say. Maybe I’ll hex his shoelaces, but that’s just justice.” He sighs before continuing with a gentle and sincere voice. “I won’t punch him, I promise. I’m not gonna force you into going out with me, I respect you.” Your eyes lock with his when you hear those last words. You huff. Really didn’t sound like it last night. He knows exactly what you’re thinking and looks away from you embarrassed and angry with himself at how he had acted. He wants to explain himself, but opening up just wasn’t easy. “I really enjoyed talking to you yesterday. I didn’t pretend or suck up to get my brother out of trouble. I genuinely thought you were funny when I laughed and when I asked more about those comics you read I did so because I love how geeky you get talking about it.”

He didn’t think it was possible, but he felt himself fall even more for the girl in front of him. “I couldn’t wrap my head around you-you liking- I mean I couldn’t believe you liked talking to me, so…” There’s a silence as you watch him struggle and search for words. Part of him just wants to walk away, but he sighs, gathering his courage. “I rather ruin my own happiness than actually be happy and lose it. I loved talking to you and I freaked. I’m… sorry.” He looks down, avoiding all eye contact, but you know his words were true. You grab his hand and squeeze it. “No need to apologize. We all freak out sometimes. And I would love to go with you, but we’ll have to walk because I didn’t bring my broom.” You say and point to his broom leaning against the wall. Mattheo stares at you for a few seconds and it’s your smile that reminded him that he needed to say something. “You could also hold on really tight.” He winks, regaining his confidence after you had reassured him.

You press your head against his back and wrap your arms a little tighter around him as Mattheo takes off in the direction of Hogsmeade. You can feel his heart race and close your eyes, feeling butterflies.

***

“Definitely a weird store.” you whisper, making Mattheo chuckle as he shows you around the bizarre but cute trinket shop, pointing at the most peculiar things. You end up spending a ridiculous amount of time deciding which notebooks, plural, you’ll buy. When Mattheo joins you holding a few rare second hand books, you sigh. “I can’t decide. I want them all.” He leans closer to you, making you blush a little. “I’ll buy them all for you.” You give him a sweet smile, before protesting. “You won’t be buying me anything, I have my own money.” He nods with eyes that mock you, quickly grabbing the three notebooks you were already holding. “Sure, little miss independent, but I still want to buy you something as an apology for my behavior.” You open your mouth to say something, but he won’t let you. “I’m all about feminism, love, but please allow me to make up for yesterday.” You huff and follow him to the cashier. “You think you can buy your way out of trouble?” You ask with a playful glint in your eyes. He offers you a sweet smirky smile as he pays. “Yeah, that’s what fines are for. I commit a crime, pay up and we’re all good.” You laugh, leaving the store. “You’ve got the justice system all figured out, Riddle.” He nods, pleased he can make you laugh so easily.

He hands you the notebooks. “Please, I prefer Mattheo.” You get flustered as his gentle smile enchants you. Gods, I’m falling for him. It’s then that you hear Ella and Theo call. “What a coincidence.” Mattheo groans when he spots them grinning in your direction. You step closer facing away from your friends for a moment. “Apparently, they ship up.” You whisper with a happy smile on your face and amused wiggling eyebrows. Mattheo feels his heart squeeze at your beautiful smile. You both walk towards Theo and Ella. “We’re on our way to the Three Broomsticks, you guys wanna join?” Mattheo feels himself heat up at the idea of getting to spend even more time with you, but just as that joy spreads a part of him tells him that you probably don’t want to. With hesitation in his eyes he looks at you, waiting for you to speak up. “If you don’t mind…” Your eyes lock with his. “I would love a drink and a bite.” He’s overjoyed by your answer, but tries to be casual about it. With gleeful eyes he slings his arm around you pulling you closer and placing a soft kiss just above your temple. While walking Mattheo’s arm stays around you, keeping you close and making you blush. Gods, I’m way past falling in love with, I want to marry him, right now!

Word count: 2635

Picture source: https://pin.it/4RWMv3rqa

[sturniolos-blog]

Pick it up - Matt Sturniolo as a dad x Y/n

warnings: kissing, fluff, cute daughter

this was inspired by matt telling nick to pick up the lollipop he threw in todays car vid, but it’s also just a fic of dad matt

enjoy!

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“Mommy!” My 3 year old daughter, estrella, ella for short, ran up to me as i walked in the door.

“Hey baby!” I giggled, picking her up and kissing her cheek.

I kicked off my shoes, “How was your day, lovey?” I pushed the hair off of her forehead and smiled at her.

“It was so ‘mazing, mommy! Me and daddy had a dance party and he invited uncle nick and uncle chris over and we went and got a bunch candy from the store and then we had ice cream and daddy told me not to tell-”

My mouth was wide open as she told me about her day.

I gasped, “Daddy let you have candy and ice cream? Oh my goodness!” I faked being surprised. I already knew about it because Matt texted me and told me about it, telling me not to get mad.

Estrella giggles, “Just kidding mommy!” She tried to lie her way out.

“I can’t believe y-” I started tickling her as she lets out fits of giggles, squirming in my arms before i placed her down.

I see Matt come from the laundry room, “Estrella, i’ve been hiding for 30 minutes it doesn’t take you that long to-” He looks at me and smiles. “Oh, hey baby.” He walks over to me.

“Found you daddy!” Ella poked his leg and laughed.

Matt scoffed playfully and shook his head, “Good job, baby. Go play, love.” Matt ruffled her hair as she ran to her play room.

Matt immediately turned around and hugged me tightly, peppering kisses on my neck, i giggled.

“Matt!” I tried to push him off.

“You smell good.” He whispered into my neck, i gave in and put my hands in his hair, running my fingers through it,

“Yeah?” I kissed his ear.

“Mmm.. ‘missed you..” He mumbled, kissing up my neck, to my jawline and to my lips.

“I missed you too.” I mumbled into the kiss.

He hummed, “How was work?” He pulled away to ask before going back in for a kiss, we rocked back and forth.

“Slow day. But good. I’m glad you and ella had a good day together.” I smiled, he smiled at me to and kissed me again.

Matt smirked as he pulled away from the kiss,

“When she goes down for a nap maybe we can-”

Matt gets cut off by a loud bang in the kitchen, we immediately walk together to go see what it was,

We saw Ella climbing down from an island stool that she pushed up against the counter, with a now empty container with lollipops all over the floor.

“Ella, baby, what are you doing?” I sighed, my hands on my hips, matt with a disappointed look on his face.

“I wanted ‘nother one!” She whined, running up to my leg and hugging it. I ran my fingers through her hair, “Okay baby, but you have to ask us first, you coulda got hurt, my love!” I said.

Ella started crying, “‘m sowwy!” She cried, i picked her up and rocked her back and forth, rubbing her back.

“Estrella stop, just pick it up please.” Matt said softly, but with a stern tone.

Estrella sniffed and buried her head into the crook of my neck, Matt gave me the, ‘put her down, stop babying her look’ I frowned, i tended to feel bad a lot.

“Y/n.” Matt said when i didn’t put her down.

“I know, i know.” I whispered. Crouching down and placing ella down, she started crying more, grabbing onto my shirt.

“Ella please,” I whispered, i gave her a hug before standing up, she grabbed my leg and hugged it.

“Estrella, pick it up. Come on, you made a mess, clean it, be a big girl.” Matt spoke softly.

Estrella coughed and sniffled as she calmed down, she twirled a piece of her curly hair before getting on the ground and picking up all the spilt lollipops, putting it in the empty container. Filling it back up.

“Good girl.” Matt said, he clapped, cheering her on.

“Go, ella!” I clapped too, matt laughed and kissed my cheek.

When estrella finished she tried to pick up the container,

“Oh baby-” I was gonna help her but matt got to her first, helping her pick up the container.

“Daddy’s got it, ella. You did so good, my love.” Matt took the lollipop container and put it back on the counter, taking a blue lollipop and handing it to ella.

“For owning up to your actions.” He smiles, i scoff playfully and shake my head.

“What do you say, estrella?” I say.

“Thank you, daddy!” She said hugging his leg.

“You’re welcome, baby.” He said, smiling at me.

—————————

Thought of this fic and i love matt sturniolo so much anyway enjoyyy

[littlenahsstuff]

Princess-Posals

Bridget x Cheshire Cat!Reader

Synopsis: The first dance of your second year at Merlin’s Academy is approaching. You have yet to ask Bridget to go with you as more than just friends and are losing time fast.

@ludoesartandstuff this is for all of us girlies in love with Bridget!

Warnings: not much! You are going through it but like it’s not really angst. Not proofread.

1.8k words

~~~~~

Castle coming was around the corner. Y/n Cheshire, you, were preparing your princessprosal for Bridget. She had been your longtime crush and an even longer time friend. She was everything you wished you were and more. She was the sweetest, prettiest, most fun girl in all the realms. If you had one wish it was to be hers.

You had just one problem, managing to get the courage up to doing it was harder than you originally thought.

There was that time you wanted to just ask her but bailed because it wasn’t good enough for her.

Then that time when you prepared a song you would sing to her and then got sick.

There was that time you planned to bake her favorite dessert, unbirthday cake. But you lost track of time and burnt it too a crisp.

You were running out of options and time. What was worse was Ella knew of your whole debacle and was constantly teasing you about it.

This would be it, today was the day. You had to ask her. So you met up with her after first period. You had a love letter you wanted to personally deliver.

Just then Uliana and her gang of misfits came by, watching at you awkwardly stand there. You try hard to not make eye contact. It doesn’t help you though.

“Well what do we have here? Is the little kitty cat waiting for her owner? You’re pathetic. I have have a mind to return the favor for causing me so much trouble last year.” Uliana fakes you out, making you jump a little. It does not sound good. Then you see pink coming out of the corner of your eye.

“Let’s just say this wont be the last you see of us,” Uliana threatens before ripping the letter out of your hand and stuffing it into her pocket, “bye kitty witty.” She saunters away with her crew behind her and finally Bridget stands in front of you, a little worried by the shocked look on your face. So much for today being the day.

“Are you alright? I saw you talking to Uliana. You snap out of it with a forced smile.

“Oh, it’s nothing too bad, she just,” you fiddle with the hem of your top, “stole my homework. But it’s okay, I already had that class today so it’s been graded. 100!” You cheer while holding up jazz hands.

Bridget smiles softly, “Well yay! You’re lying though… why?” She squints her eyes.

“Okay, you got me! The homework was for next class and I now will most definitely am not getting a one hundred.” You cease the fidgeting, she’s always to good at noticing things, better to cut the self-sabotaging now.

She rubs your shoulders, “I’m sorry about that. Maybe we can bake something together later to make you feel better? Chuckle chocolate chipper chip cookies perhaps?” She wiggles her eyebrows making you giggle.

“I think I would like that,” you sigh in relief now you have an excuse to see her again. This time your plans will not be thwarted. But how? You’ve gone the poetic, musical, and tasty route, what else would be good enough for Bridget? You stand there staring at her again, getting lost in how beautiful her pink hair is, how white her teeth are despite the copious amounts of sweets she consumes and how perfect she smiles.

“Are you sure you’re okay Y/n?” She asks again. You nod. “I’m getting a little worried for you; you’ve been getting distracted more easily, letting Uliana pick on you when you usually would just turn invisible and run away, and you look a little tired every time we hang out. Which is a lot.”

You sigh, “It’s just… its- I… the dance is soon.” You end with really not wanting to elaborate. You really don’t want to let out anything else so you make the hard decision to skedaddle and turn invisible.

“Y/n Cheshire! You can’t runaway like that! I better see you after school!” She calls out, chuckling to herself despite the worry. She think she knows what’s going on now and she intends to help out.

You spent the rest of the school day tryna think of good ways to ask Bridget to go with you. You think you have it though.

Bridget had missed her home dearly, as did you. She had a passion for exotic tastes, her favorite being a rare wonderlandian truffle she left behind at her castle. She told you the day school started up again how devastated she was she forgot it. All you had to do was take an unauthorized trip to wonderland. Which would be laughably easy for you.

So you decided to slip out during your fourth period and left.

The woods were thick but you didn’t mind. You liked the outdoors. Before Bridget, trees were your best friends. You got close enough to the guards that you could see the sides of them from pretty far. You turn yourself invisible and slowly walk towards it.

Once close enough to them you pick up a rock and throw it the other direction. They whip around and start walking towards the sound it made. You start booking it towards the portal and make it, falling hard on the wonderland ground.

“Ouch” you mutter, turning visible. Thankfully wonderland doesn’t guard the portal. You get up, dusting yourself off. Then you head towards her castle which isn’t too far but you need to hurry if you want to make it to Bridget’s dorm in time.

You get into the castle by turning invisible once more and quickly find her room, thankfully easily. Her room is adorable with baby pinks everywhere and cookbooks galore. It’s like her dorm but even more her somehow. She has a recordplayer too. You remember listening to fun pop ballads with her.

You quickly find it in a box on her nightstand and put it in your pocket. You, still while invisible, leave and run back to the portal.

When you get back you realize you don’t know if you can stay invisible when you go through it. You take a deep breath and go in, feeling lightheaded but still managing to land on your feet.

“Hey!” A guard yells right next to you. Apperently the answer was no still.

You turn invisible and run even faster than when you ran to the portal. You manage to only trip once but lose them.

You are terribly out of breath because of the running but check the time and it reads that you are five minutes late! You gasp for air and again sprint to the school, managing to get there in an impressive 2 minutes from the edge of the woods. You knock on the door.

“Oh there you- are you okay? You don’t look very, um, good,” she awkwardly says, standing there with a cookbook in hand.

“Yeah I,” you inhale, “good. Just, can we maybe sit down for a second?” Your palms are a little sweaty and it’s not just cause of the running.

She grabs your hand and leads you to her bed. “Of course!” You sit next to one another.

“Thanks, sorry I’m late I had to… grab something.” You decide to go with that for now.

“It’s no problem, just maybe next time shoot me a text and not run a marathon.” She giggles. You smile. You nod and sit there in an admittedly awkward silence for a bit.

“Can I ask you something?” “Can I ask you something?” The both of you say at the same time. You both break down in giggles.

“Yeah, you go first,” you say, maybe you were stalling still.

“Uh, sure!” She surely looks insanely nervous which is kinda making you more nervous. “Well, even though last year was a little weird I loved castlecoming so much. Last year I wanted to do something but was too chicken and I’m gonna do it this year.” She pauses and you nod, rubbing her hands for support. She inhales, “Y/n Cheshire, would you be my date to castlecoming? Like not just as friends?” The wind is most certainly knocked out of you again and you kind of malfunction a bit.

“Y/n are you alright? If it’s a no that’s perfectly okay, you don’t have to feel like you have-“

“Yes! Oh my, Bridget that would make me the happiest in all of the realms! Can I- can I kiss you?” You ask, you feel your face warm. She doesn’t answer. But before you know it you feel your stomach explode with pixies and your heart leap out of your chest. Bridget’s soft pink lips touch yours and it has to be the best feeling in the world. You don’t mean to break the kiss but after a couple seconds you gasp.

“What what’s wrong?” Bridget says.

“No no no nothings wrong it’s just, I was planning to ask you too. I was gonna ask you like about two weeks ago but I chickened, and then that time I got sick I had planned a whole cheesy song out, I baked something for you and it got burnt another time, then I had written a poem for you but… but… that’s what Uliana stole today.” You chuckle awkwardly. You technically just admitted you lied to her.

“Wow… I I appreciate that you would do all those things but don’t worry, I don’t need anything big, just you. It is funny you were gonna ask though! I too was a little chicken recently. You are so sweet.” She says lovingly, her smile brighter than a thousand suns.

Then you dig in your pocket for the truffle and pull it out.

“I still managed to work something out. I went to wonderland to get that truffle so you could use it before it goes bad.” She grasps it out of your hand and looks at it in awe.

“So that’s why you were so out of breath! You seriously got this for me? You are- you’re just so amazing.” She pauses. “I know it’s soon but I feel in my heart that I love you, and I have loved you. I don’t know if it’s weird or not but I’ve loved you as a friend and it’s already become so much more. Thank you truly.“

“I love you too Bridget, have for a long time.” You answer. She grasps your collar and pulls you in for a deep kiss once more. This one lasts a lot longer. You both only break it for a second, where you two say I love you once more. The two of you laugh at the fact you said it at the same time. Bridget is truly the queen of your heart.

[unsuredreamer]

Your Heart pt 2

Bridget Hearts 🩷 x fem! reader

Half of it is in the present, making Bridget an adult, but i decided to use Queen of Hearts for her older cruel version

Also, I wrote it overnight, so it might not be that good. Bear with me 😭

"Hey B...you have to eat. Please eat this for me" Ella passed her friend a sandwich, a simple peanut butter-jelly sandwich, with the crust cut off in the shape of a heart. Bridget loved heart-shaped things. It was her signature, her favorite shape, her favorite word, her favorite thing -scratch that- it was not her favorite thing , nor would it be when you existed.

She loved raspberry jam. The sweet yet tart flavor, which reminds her of summer sunshine - bright, vibrant, and refreshing. The fruit possesses a delicate, ephemeral quality that makes it delightful and memorable for the senses. You loved raspberries and she loved how you talked about how 'they are better than strawberries because every raspberry tastes delightful and you'd have to pick a good enough strawberry for it to taste even remotely as good as the one and only fruit'

Now, she feels physically sick at the thought of even looking at the pink colored fruit.

"Come on, my heart, I'm going to teach you how to swim today. I promise not to let go of you ever, okay?" Your bright smile lit up her world as you guided her through the maze of the forest. It was an ordinarily hot day in Auradon, the tree crowns pleasuring you with shadows as the colder than usual water refreshed your bodies.

She loved your Thursday picnics on the hills. With your special pbj's and her basket of pastries. It was sweet as usual,

Why Thursday? She felt bad that no one liked this day of the week, the constantly forgotten day that no one really plans anything for it. Friday's better, and Wednesday is the middle of the week. So you made it your mission to make this day the best of all after seeing her sulking one day about it.

You'd sit and just talk for hours in the sun. Far away enough from your favorite tree for it to not be shielding you from the sunbeams. Her head on your lap, with your hand tangled in her pink locks as you dreamily described every possible shape you could see while looking at the clouds. Her eyes averted from you to the landscape every now and then. It was perfect. The warmth of the biggest star shining on your faces, colliding with the chilly breeze grazing your skin, it was a wonderful mix.

"What are you thinking about, my heart?"

The phrase rolling off your tongue just like a melody, Her name said by you engraved in her memory for good.

"Nothing, really. I'm just enjoying the moment with you. It means a lot"

It truly did mean a lot. A feeling nothing would ever top. The calmness she felt and relief while being with you. You were like an oasis on the desert. A huge blanket she jumped under after a long day. And a warm shower after a heavy, freezing rainstorm. The love bursting from you just made her wish she was the one loved by you forever. She wanted to be the only one your eyes lit upon seeing. Seeking every ounce of touch from you.

The sight of your unconscious body made Bridget shiver and freeze. She fell, her weak knees hitting the blood-stained ground. The once beautiful, white pebbles, turning maroon as the red liquid pooled out of the corpse.

Her hand reaching for yours only for it to vanish into thin air.

"Bridget?" worried Ella placed her hand over her best friends shoulder. "I will leave it here, okay? please eat, i will be back as soon as i can, promise." She placed the sandwich on the bedside table, grabbing all the untouched food she had brought previously. Walking out of the room, she was met with nothing but silence. Not even a hum from the very hurt and broken princess.

A dead body with a spear shot right through the heart. Hazed eyes and this defeated expression, staring longingly into the distance. The white button-up shirt peppered in small hearts growing more and more burgundy.

Ella felt terrible. She couldn't help her friend even if she wanted to. All she could do was to be there and comfort her. At the same time not being able to throw those awful memories of this day from her own head. Watching her bubbly and full of life platonic soulmate completely shut off and become a ghost of a person was truly painful. Those excruciating sobs she tried to cover up so badly at night hurt her heart to the point she herself tried not to let out a waterfall of tears.

"She will be back! I can feel it! I'm not crazy I swear!" Those broken attempts of yells mixed with cries of helpfulness.

Bridget didn't even try to. She only did so in case to not wake other students up. Her burning chest could not let her sleep. Even if she did have some rest, you visiting her in her dreams would only strengthen the feeling. She felt you faltering away from her. She began to forget the sound of your voice and the way you laughed. She could not possibly, she has to remember every single detail of you.

The gut-wrenching pinning in her lungs made her unable to breathe. All she did was lay under her covers, trying to feel the warmth your hands delivered every time you placed them on her body. Delicately on her waist, harshly on her shoulder, gently grabbing her fists, trying to stop her from her madness. Placing them on her cheek, trying to steady her breaths after another panic attack she had gotten from her confidence tumbling down like dominoes thanks to her bullies.

She touched herself in chance she gets the same result, the same sense of someone being there for her like you were. But all she got in return was a deathly cold hand on her skin and the imaginary feeling you were still there to hold her. To brush her hair away when it fell so ungracefully on her face upon baking another batch of cupcakes with you, raspberry cupcakes with the hint of white chocolate, Both flavors going excellent with eachother like you and Bridget once did.

She felt your presence, hugging her so close, so firm from behind, wrapping your arms around her body as if saying you're still there, and you always will be.

But you were not. It was a lie she was very aware of dragging herself into. Hurting herself every day with the false presentation of you walking around her room, smiling from ear to ear, blabering about how you'd make another couple happen, about how it was the perfect match. You were her perfect match, and now she's left alone with only half of her heart. A piece of yours was the only thing of you she had left, beside a hoodie you once had given her.

She was going mad. She stayed in it for days and days only for it to not lose your scent she so desperately wished to keep. But even this would falter eventually.

"B, come on, you have to shower. I promise not to wash the hoodie. It'll be waiting for you after you get out"

She lied, she had to wash the hoodie, it lost its charm and the beautiful smell. Ony giving her the illusion it was still there.

Heck, everything was an illusion. Her head was playing tricks, not even the best magicians could. Her heart fell for them miserably, sinking so low that nothing could ever pick it up and place back where it belonged. It belongs to you.

-

"Mom, Mom? Are you okay?" Worried Red placed her hand on her mothers shoulder. It's been half a year since her and Chloe changed the past. She was getting used to her mother being nicer, more loving. They talked more often, and she felt more comfortable being with her. But it was the first time she had seen her mother in such a state after what she had seen in the past.

The lifeless expression was quickly slapped off the Queens face - replaced by a very gentle smile - upon hearing her daughter speak, her touch sending a wave of shivers throughout her body "Oh yes Red my dear! We should be heading to the family's day dinner now, shall we?"

On the way to Auredon, through the rabbit hole, Red had to keep herself from asking about the woman she so yearned to know more of. She did not want to hurt her mother even more than she already was. It was one thing to lose someone. It was another to lose someone who devoted their whole life to you "I love you, mom,"

The Queen took ahold of her daughters hand smiling lightly, the unexpected words coming out of her mouth made Bridgets chest swell with gratitude "I love you more darling"

"I'm going to say hi to Chloe" Red ran off after giving her mother a side hug. Small gesture, but it made Bridget smile once again.

She loved having her daughter, her little angel. Red was like a small light in her life, someone she grew to care about after all she had been through. She tamed her, just like she used to tame her, the bad thoughts and the voices in her head, the anger and the anxiety.

"Off with his head!" the words echoed through the dining room of the palace.

"But, but Bridget, He is your daughters dad and soon to be ruler of -"

"He's no father to Red, nor will he ever be my husband. I don't need him anymore. Shall I repeat my order?"

She was always bound for this fate. To be this mean, cruel ruler. To go mad. Everyone's mad in Wonderland. It's up to you to decide how mad you're going to be.

But Red was there. To quieten the voices and relieve the pain. She lived for Red, who brought the happiness back into her life. The small bits of it, but nonetheless, she was her greatest accomplishment.

"Bridget!" Her bestfriends voice brought her back from her daydreams. After a very warm hug, she greeted her with yet another smile. Never this bright how it used to be, but still a smile of some kinds.

Her dear husband coming right after her.

The envy she felt forbidding her from sparing even a glance at him.

"We've just been talking with Beast and Belle about the upcoming plans of Mal and Ben, and - how are you B?" Ella stopped after acknowledging her dear best friend, staring at the ground, totally cut off from the world, the old rusty pebbles glistening in the daylight.

"I'm great, Charming, never better!" The pink Queen of Hearts burst out. Was she truly feeling better? Never, only in the comfort of her bed chamber with your blouse tightly clutched in her hands. "You could tell me more about your daughter getting into the advanced fencing group? I heard from Red she's excellent. Oh, and my congratulations on your son finishing up college. It's about time this happened!" she laughed light-heartedly reaching for her necklace, silver necklace with a cherry red glass heart.

Suddenly a crowd of ghasps echoed at the event, terrified royals hang tightly onto their lovers and children upon seeing a human-like posture fly over the sky, loose its every ounce of power left and hit the ground so hard it almost looked like a grenade explosion. As the dirt and small stones fell down, the King stepped up, getting closer to the figure, "Everyone keep calm"

The fallen angel covered was by its huge white wings, resembling those of Icarus, burned down by the sun and worn out presumably from flying too much. The groan it let out was so piercing and full of pain, squeezing every person's heart in sorrow and compassion. Its wings dissappearing in an instant, uncovering a beautiful, goddes-like woman. With wet hair falling imperfectly on her face and her clothes torn apart, loosely hanging off her body. Her bloodied bruised skin mixed with dirt was an excruciating scene to be looking at. Her broken voice let out whimpers and pleads.

"Let's get this creature out of here" Mal, the Queen, ordered, her eyes glowing green upon being alarmed of the potential danger.

"NO!" The Queen of Hearts let out loudly, startling everyone present. Dragging herself closer to the fallen angel, basically running straight to it, she dropped on her knees before her. Bridget's eyes started to water uncontrollably, her heart hammered in her chest as her shaky hand reached out to cup the angels head and place it on her lap. "My love..." she brushed your hair away, smiling from ear to ear. The tears streamed down her face as she finally held you close.

You were there. Alive.

Your eyes fluttered open, your blurred sight coming back to senses "Who are you?" You breathed out upon seeing the pink posture hovering over you "And why do you have my heart?"

[ellana-ravenwood]

“I HATE YOU !” - Batfam/Batkids x fem!reader/Batmom

Synopsis : Not everything is always made of sunshines and rainbows. Sometimes, things go wrong. Sometimes, your children lash out at you, and scream : “I hate you !” before storming off...A story about how you handle those burst of anger from each of your kids, over the span of a few years.

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

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DICK 

"I HATE YOU !!” 

He screams, running off and closing the door behind him violently. 

BANG !!

You’re not sure that “bang” is the sound of the door slamming, or your heart breaking. 

This was the first time your child said something so hurtful to you. And it was quite a shock. You weren’t sure how to react. 

As if moved by instinct, Bruce immediately moved next to you, and put an arm around your shoulder, as if to shield you from the hurt. It was only a little bit comforting...

When he was younger, Dick struggled greatly with his anger. He had trouble managing it, and it’s only after a big fight with Bruce, and some times apart, that he truly started to understand himself, and become the man he was now. 

The reason he left with the Titans, and then later, left for Bludhaven...was his mismanaged anger. And it was also yours and Bruce’s fault. You were still new parents, you were still learning, you didn’t always have the best reactions. 

Bruce would react with anger too, which he knew now was the worst thing he could do. But to his defense (and you would always defend him), he was also just processing his trauma, and trying to navigate how to “tackle” his son’s own traumatic experience. He wasn’t sure how to act, with that kid. 

He was too strict, he expected too much, because he wanted Dick to NOT reiterate his own mistakes. He wanted his boy to feel better, to be able to be happy...something he thought he could never be again, before meeting you. 

It took a very long time for Bruce, to get out of this dark pit he buried himself in. He didn’t want Dick to take the same path. He wanted him to NOT be a second “Batman”. He wanted him to be his own man. 

Which lead to a lot of mistakes. But hey, you couldn’t be a perfect parent all the time. And let’s admit it, Dick wasn’t always easy to handle. Especially during his fits of anger, which he sometimes had when he was young, and which slowly disappeared during his teenage years (although even today, if you truly managed to make him angry, he could get quite scary...Ah, but like father like son). 

You didn’t even remember why he told you “I hate you”, it was all a blur now, years later. But you remember how you felt. 

Heartbroken, like you failed as a parent. As if you weren’t enough for that little boy, who had lost everything and was “forced” to become part of your family. 

That simple “I hate you” had triggered so many questions in yours and Bruce’s mind. How could you react ? Not like he gave you the time to, as he left the room right away. 

What was the right reaction ? What if he did truly hate you ? What could you do to salvage this relationship ? What-

You were both so lost. 

You would do many more mistakes as parents, but that day-

That day, things got resolved on their own, as Dick came back a few moments later, with an apologetic look on his face. 

It was clear he wanted to pretend nothing had happened. Yet, that child had already a lot more emotional intelligence than most, and instead of ignoring everything, he just said : 

“You know I love you, right ?” 

And that was the end of it. And a first step to understand an important, and key thing about raising a child : sometimes, they WILL lash out at you. And say they hate you. But they never truly mean it. It’s just a way of processing an overwhelming amount of negative emotions. A way to protect themselves. 

“I hate you.”, often comes from the opposite feeling. They love you so much, but they’re angry, and they think of the first thing that could hurt you and-

Dick never said it again after that. In fact, it was almost a biggest traumatic experience to him, than it was to you. Because he hated feeling this ugly things, and he hated hurting others, especially not those he loved. “I hate you”, were words he never meant towards anyone. He felt so bad, about telling them to you and Bruce, who took him in as your own child. 

But beyond that, what made him entirely stop even thinking about saying that again. Beyond that, he never said it again, even when he fought with his dad, because he knew. He never crossed that limit again, because he knew. Him most of everyone, knew. Life was so short, and what if the last thing he told you or Bruce was : “I hate you ?” 

He could never forgive himself. And for him too, this was an important step. One step closer, to controlling his anger, to understand himself, to let himself feel, and explain his feelings. 

Yes. This first “I hate you”, was an important moment for all of you. Parents, and child. A first stone set upon a building, that would grow each year. A first experience showing that not everything could be perfect, and that mistakes would be made. 

But as long as you were there for each others, and as long as you knew that no matter what, you would always love one another...You’d pull through the hardest times. 

JASON

Talking about the hardest of times. 

Jason was a good kid. He never once told you he hated you, before his death. On the contrary. The boy never shied away from expressing his feelings. 

He would outright tell you and Bruce, that he loved you. He would show you by countless kind acts towards you two, that he was the happiest he’s ever been, since you adopted him. 

Finally. Finally he felt safe and loved. Finally he had an actual family, people who cared about him...Why would he tell them that he hated them ? 

No. Never would it have come to Jason’s mind to use those words towards you. 

Oh, oh but after his death ? After his traumatic resurrection ? After he came back to Gotham City, only to find out you not only “replaced” him (his feelings towards Tim at first were...complicated), but you also never killed that hateful clown ?? 

Jason hated you. He hated you so much. 

But it was because he loved you. He always worshipped you and his dad, viewed you as those perfect beings who saved him from a life of misery. This was probably “his” first mistake...Nobody was perfect. 

But in Jason’s eyes, his mom and dad were. You and Bruce. 

And so when he came back, and neither of you avenged his death, he felt so hurt that- 

“I hate you.”

Those words, he said them a lot. In total contrast of him before the “incident”, before it all went to sh-. 

“I hope you know I hate you. So much. I wish I had never met you.” 

He wasn’t “half-assing” it, Dick would say. No. He definitely went “full ass” on you and Bruce, not hesitating for a second to express his high level of anger towards you two. 

And the worst ? Neither of you were mad at him for it, on the contrary. His words summed up years of your life. Years of you two hating yourselves for not being able to save your son, and not having the guts to go through with it concerning “The Joker”. 

You didn’t even think about defending yourselves. You understood how hurt he was. You-You deserved his anger. You deserved his hate. 

Ah, but Jason never really truly hated you. Deep down, his harsh words were born from feeling hurt and rejected. 

You two were the only persons who ever made Jason feel safe. When he came back, and saw you “moved on”, that you weren’t mourning him anymore (which wasn’t true, it might’ve appeared like that for the sake of Dick and Tim, but neither you nor Bruce could ever heal from one of your children’s death, the wound would always bleed), and that you didn’t take revenge-

He felt like it had all been fake. Like you never loved him. Like you lied to him, all those times you called him your son, or when you told him you loved him, and that he meant so much to you. 

Jason hated you, because he thought you never loved him. How ironic, right ? 

Thinking back to it, maybe you should’ve been more obvious with your feelings. Tell him since the first day you realized he came back, that you loved him, and that living without him was torture. 

That losing him was unbearable, and that you and Bruce almost broke for good (but had to be strong for the rest of the family). 

Maybe, you should’ve told him everything right away. And not let his anger fester. Not let him say more and more “I hate you”s. Maybe...

Ah, but it was easy, to look back at an event and think : “what if ?”. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t go that way. You were so shocked by Jason’s anger towards you, and thought so much you deserved it, that you didn’t immediately tell him how you truly felt. 

And it took all of you so much time, to finally talk. To finally understand each other. To finally forgive. Jason, to forgive you. You and Bruce, to forgive yourselves. 

So much wasted time...

Jason would always regret how he told you many times he hated you. Because it was never true. What he wanted to hear, in answer to those words, was : “I love you.”...He just didn’t know how to process all his emotions. 

And you would always regret that it took you so damn long to finally chase after your son, and make sure he knew you loved him. Make sure he knew he meant everything to you. 

It wasn’t a work you did alone. Thanks god for Alfred, Dick, and even Tim. 

And thanks god for Jason’s strength, for how he was able to forgive, even as he-

Yes. This would be a great source of regret for all of you. Maybe that was why, nowadays, Jason would NEVER shy away (once more) to say “I love you mom”, and why you made sure you told him, and showed him your love, every chance you got...

TIM

Even the most loving, sweetest kids, sometimes say hurtful things. 

Tim was one of those adorable children, who always wanted to help, whom you could always count on, but who would hide away his feelings too much for his own good, and would eventually break. 

“When coming from a child in whom there is generally a love-based relationship, ‘I hate you’ is a normal part of emotional and psychological development”, said a psychotherapist to you once (mental health issues were given a very important place, in the Wayne’s household...None of you ever felt ashamed of needing a little professional help at times). 

You experienced it with Dick and Jason. You knew it would eventually happen with Tim. Especially since he could be a little emotionally stunted at times. 

Tim wanted SO MUCH to help, and to save everyone, and to be there for the one he loved...he would often burry his own feelings, and pretend everything was ok. And sometimes, like a volcano, he would explose. 

Like today. But you were expecting it. 

It hadn’t been long since, unfortunately, Conner passed away. 

Conner Kent was an important person for your family. You always adored the kid (and he was the source of the very few fights you had with Clark, as you hated how he initially treated the boy). But he was probably the most important to your Tim. 

Although he never admitted it by then, you were pretty sure your son was in love with Superboy. That they weren’t only the best of friends. And you were pretty sure Conner shared his feelings...

But now, now they could never truly talk about it. 

Because Conner was gone. And he wasn’t coming back (A/N : yeah you know, comics, so we know he’ll eventually come back, but for the drama of it all, it seemed at the time that he wasn’t going to). 

It was hard for your son to process that. He became even more obsessed with his “work”, skipping school to spend all his time on his vigilante cases. 

And that day, he had skipped school once too many, and you and Bruce decided you would ground him. Forbid him, for a little while, to go out as Red Robin. And-

And that probably wasn’t your best idea. Probably wasn’t how you should’ve handled that at the time. Punishing him wasn’t the way to go, you knew that now. Oh, but it was easy, when you had the few steps back years later, to realize your mistake. On the moment though, it seemed like the only thing to do to save your son from dying out of exhaustion. 

His reaction was both expected, and unexpected. 

You knew he would snap at some point. You just didn’t expect him to snap because he was grounded...

“I HATE YOU !!” He screamed, truly angry, throwing a book across the room. 

But you knew. You knew he didn’t hate you. He was hurt, and sad, and he didn’t know how to handle all his emotions. 

He didn’t hate you, he hated himself. 

He hated himself for not being able to save his friend. To save the man he loved. To-

Tim always made it his mission, to save everyone. Especially those close to his heart. And so this, was a failure he had a hard time handling. 

It translated in that “I hate you” he threw your way. 

But you knew. You knew how he felt. 

“Well, it’s too bad, because I love you.” 

You answered, and you could see he was taken aback by this. You could see he was struggling with himself, and wasn’t sure what to say. 

“I love you, Tim. I love you so much.” 

Tears. Welling up on the corner of his eyes. And then it was another kind of volcano erupting...

All sign of anger disappeared, as he collapsed in your arms, and finally- 

Finally let himself mourn the death of his best friend, and first love. 

DAMIAN

It happened not long after your youngest boy came into your life. 

Damian had disappointed his dad. He knew it. He had killed a man, because he thought it was the only way to stop him from hurting his family. 

It came from a good intention. He wanted to stop someone from arming his loved ones. He wanted to permanently make sure that person wouldn’t come back one day, and kill his dad, his siblings, or you (he hadn’t yet came to call you “mom”, but it would come soon). 

It came from good intentions. 

He wanted to protect. And the only way he was taught how to do that, while in the League of Shadows, was to kill. Because, what was more permanent than death ? What would assure your safety, but to kill the danger ? 

But your son knew. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do that anymore. He knew his father expected him to do better. He knew...Yet he hadn’t been able to control himself. And he was feeling really bad about it. 

Of course, Bruce would forgive him. Would not give up on him. But still, Damian disappointed him. He disappointed you. Or so he thought, at least. 

He was feeling so bad about himself...And here it came.

Instead of expressing his feelings about all of that, instead of putting into words, or in drawing form for example (his go-to way to express himself), he lashed out. 

And unfortunately, you were in his way. He turned his negative feelings towards you, but you weren’t about to let him run with it. 

Damian wasn’t your first child. You had dealt with the “I hate you” phrase before, hell you even had to go through the very painful “You’re not my REAL mom” one (you can read this in that story : “You’re not my real mom”)...You more or less knew how to handle it now. 

An immediate emotional response would only make it worst. And so, as Damian yells : 

“I HATE YOU !!” at you, after you tried to talk to him about what he did (you wanted to comfort him, he took it the wrong way...which could happen with anyone), you took a deep breath. 

You stayed silent for a few seconds. And then you looked at him right in the eyes, and said : 

“No, I’m sorry. You may not speak this way to me. Let’s try to calm down first and then get to the bottom of what is going on. I can tell you are feeling very stressed, angry, overwhelmed. I can imagine a lot is going on and it’s making you feel such strong emotions inside, emotions of 'hate.' You probably feel you hate everything, all the things you need to do and all the stuff 'we' make you do. It’s hard. I know. Let’s talk about it.” 

Damian was stunned. He did not expect this response. He thought you would hate him in return, or be mad at him. 

“Hating me or using those words to express your anger is not going to help you fix how you’re feeling. It may make you feel 'good' in the moment of saying it, but not later. You will likely feel regret, feel sorry, feel bad. That doesn’t feel good. So, no saying that. But let’s talk about all the stress you feel. Let’s talk about your feelings, Damian. Please. Tell me what’s wrong, and how we can fix it."

Damian wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t. 

He had never been taught to accept failure. Nobody ever told him it was ok to not feel well. Nobody- Nobody ever expressed understanding towards him. 

He felt his throat choking up. He felt tears coming to his eyes. He felt-

He turned away from you, still use to hide those feelings. Still used to not show any sign of weakness. He turned away- But you delicately caught his chin in your hand, and turned his face back to you. 

And in your eyes...In your eyes, he could see that you wouldn’t give up on him. That you wouldn’t turn away, even as he made mistakes. That you were here for him. That you- 

That day, you received from him a hug. The very first hug he ever gave you. And of course, you answered it by wrapping him in your own arms. 

And Damian felt safe. Wanted. Loved. And he heard himself spill everything to you. He heard himself talk to you about his worries, about how he hated himself, about-

Everything. 

He told you everything. And most of all, he told you that of course, he didn’t hate you. He could never hate you.  

CASS

Cass wanted to hurt you. She was so angry, frustrated and upset, that her next few words were specifically aimed at hurting your feelings : 

“I hate you.” 

She says flatly, yet in a very definite tone. She knows what she’s doing, and she knows she’ll most likely regret it later. But right now, blinded by rage, she says those dreadful words anyway.

Unfortunately for Cass, by now, you knew that when one of your children lashed out at you in that way, they didn’t truly mean it. You and Alfred came to an analogy, for when your kids would suddenly want to hurt you with their words : 

They were like a tea kettle. 

In that way, that when the water's boiling, the kettle sings, and is too hot to handle. It takes time for the water to get back to room temperature. Right ? Well, when their water was too hot, they simply couldn’t think clearly anymore, as they entered fight or flight mode. Which is why they reflexively use the hate word, to "protect" themselves from their vulnerable feelings.

Right now, Cass’ water was way too hot, for reasons that honestly wouldn’t matter anymore in a few hours. And so she said : “I hate you.” 

Step by step. A deep breath. A small silence. And then you say : 

"No, you don’t hate me. But I know that at times we don’t see eye to eye or it feels I am in your way or that I don’t understand. You’re right, I don’t always understand, but I want to. Sometimes, I am in your way, simply because I am still raising you. It’s OK if you don’t always agree with me. My job is not for us to agree on everything but to hopefully provide you with what you need for a few more years until you’ll take care of yourself all on your own."

This seems to fuel her rage even more. How dare you be understanding, while she’s trying to hurt you ? How dare you answer her bile with kind words ? 

"I get that you’re angry but hate is not the way to label that or express that. I want us to be able to discuss our differences and even teach each other things. I also want to hear what you have to say. So, no more saying, 'I hate you’, regardless of how angry, frustrated, or stressed you feel. From now on, you will just tell me about your feelings and I will listen. Alright ?'

Not alright. At least for her, in that moment. Instead of talking, she glares at you, turn around, and leaves, slamming the door behind her, with all her might. Too angry to listen, or to talk. And you know what ? It was ok. 

It was ok, if things weren’t immediately resolved in the moment. You had learned that, over the years. It was ok, if right now, she was not willing to talk it out. To explain. To release her anger. She just needed time. And that was ok. 

And so you let her storm off, and waited. 

You didn’t have to wait for very long. A few hours later, she came back to you. Looking ashamed, and sad. 

Ah, but you made sure she had nothing to feel ashamed off. It was ok to be angry, it was ok to not know how to handle one’s own emotions. It was a good learning process, wasn’t it ? 

“Sorry.”

She told you, and what else was there to do, but to take her into your arms ? 

DUKE

“I hate you..”

Duke whispers, and although you know he doesn’t mean it, your heart still squeeze in that very uncomfortable way...

But you understood. You understood. 

You and Bruce just signed official papers to make him your son, as his parents weren’t getting any better, and it was clearer and clearer they would never heal from what the Joker did to them. 

But Duke still had hope. He still thought they could be saved. And he held onto that hope, even as he slowly settled in his life at Wayne Manor. Even as, despite himself, he slowly started to see you and Bruce as his second parents. 

And here you were, sighing adoption papers, making it official that his parents would never be the same ever again. 

To him, you were representing his shattered hopes. He had truly lost his parents...

Of course, he would “hate” you in that moment. Of course. But by then, you were used to your children not being well, and lashing out their negative feelings at you. So you start by saying : 

"There is a lot going in your life and I can understand how sometimes you just want nothing to do with any of it, and that-”

“DON’T ACT AS IF YOU UNDERSTAND !” 

He does not let you finish, and his whispers turn into screams. He feels so angry, so lost, so desperate. His last hope of having his parents again is gone, and you’re trying to comfort him ?? 

Proof that, even after decades of being a parent, you don’t always have the right words, or you don’t always do the right thing to soothe your child. 

You take a step back, a deep breath, and-

You don’t say anything. This wasn’t the “I hate you” screamed because you told him “no” about something. This was the “I hate you” born from utter desperation and sadness. He still didn’t mean it. But he needed to say it. 

So you let him. 

You feel Bruce’s hand on your back, as per usual, your husband is always near for you. You’re stronger, together. He’s your rock, you’re his pillar. 

Together, you can face this. You can go through it because you know you have support. You know he’s going to be there for you, and you for him. It makes things so much easier, to know there’s at least one constant in your life...

You don’t say anything, and you let Duke tell you a few more times that he hates you. You let him leave the court, and run off on his own. You’re worried, of course, but you know-

You know he needs the time alone. You know he needs to process things, alone. You know he’ll come back to you, once he’ll feel ready. 

And so for now, you and Bruce wait. His arms around you, yours holding him. Comforting each other with your mere presence. His fingers massaging your scalp, your hands running soothing circles on his back. 

You’re not alone for this. You’re parents, together. And you’ll figure that out, together. Worst things come to worst...There’s always Alfred, to run to for advices, right ? 

But you got this. You got it. 

And Duke does too. Right now, he needs to be angry. But he’ll come around. And he’ll realize that truly...He’s not actually alone in this. 

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A short bonus story, as I only managed to write this today (feeling a bit under the weather). I hope you liked it nonetheless ! As per usual, comments/reblogs always greatly appreciated, motivating, and welcomed <3. Thank you in advance, and see you soon with a longer, more fleshed out story.  

[eamour]

feeling is the secret.

the saying "feeling is the secret" is another phrase that neville goddard coined. now, when speaking of "feeling" it to be true, neville did not talk about an "emotion" but rather "knowing" things to be true. but what's so important about "feeling" anyway?

thoughts come from feeling.

your thoughts come from your feeling. to simplify it for you: your feeling can also be reffered to as your belief in something or your state of mind concerning something. therefore, feeling is the cause of thought. first you have a feeling, then you generate thoughts coming from that feeling. your thoughts determine what state you are in or what your underlying belief/feeling is.

change feeling, change self.

your feeling is the root. the origin. the beginning. it's the only thing you need to change in order to see change be reflected back to you. when you do that, you change self — because self, again, is what you feel to be true.

since your thoughts are not the cause of your manifestation but your feeling is, we need to change that first. your feeling or your belief/state is where you think from. it's where thoughts come from automatically. if you change your feeling, your thoughts have no option but to follow in regards to that state.

change the feeling of "i".

how do you change your feeling? in your mind. you don’t change your outer self but your inner self. a belief or a feeling isn't hard to change. there are no blockages of your subconscious, there is no resistance that has to be dealt with. the only reason why you think that there might be obstacles you need to overcome is because you create them in the first place. you yourself are complicating it to change your state and make yourself believe in the difficulty or the idea that your mind needs to be "fixed". but you can uncreate those beliefs the same way you created them.

thoughts hold no power.

since the thought is created, it has no power of its own and no truth in itself. this is why you don't have to worry about thoughts or if you are thinking "good enough", having the "right" thoughts or micromanaging everything. don't try to think perfectly in your mind. the thought is not the root, the feeling is.

that's why "flipping" aka changing thoughts often doesn't do a lot. it does not change your feeling to begin with. and since you keep the feeling, you will also keep reproducing thoughts coming from that state. yes, today you managed to calm down by flipping thought A — but what if you get anxious again tomorrow because you get a thought B?

feeling is the end.

you know the term "live in the end"? this is what we mean we say it: when we want you to live in the end, we want you to feel as if you had your desire. we want you to go to the very end where you have it. we don't want you to worry about the how, the when, the circumstances or the bridge of events. we want you to feel. because once you do, you will also start to think from feeling aka from having your desire. just like edward art said, "change your feeling to what you want to feel. feel everything and the thoughts will come".

just feel it.

you waste so much time not doing what you should be doing. no, you don't need to firmly do sats every night before going to bed and attempt the void and make sure to write down all 100 affirmations in the same order and meditate for exactly 15 minutes... you need to feel. you need to be. you need to experience it in the mind. you need to give yourself the time to just have it. you need to allow yourself to get a taste of it. you have been forcefully and desperately trying to "do to get". just be it for a moment. give yourself the feeling you have been longing for. because you keep feeling what you don't want to, you just end up manifesting things you don't want. and you do things to get and not to change self.

this post was greatly inspired by edward art

with love, ella.

[wileys-russo]

alessia day II a.russo x reader

tooth rottingly soft self care days with star girl

alessia day II a.russo x reader

4.3K words

licking some jam off the tip of your thumb you looked down to the table loaded with food in front of you and nodded with a satisfied smile, happy with your work for the morning and even happier that alessia hadn't woken up any earlier than you'd hoped.

washing your hands and kicking the dishwasher closed with your foot you downed the last mouthful of your coffee, abandoning the mug in the sink and making your way upstairs. hand on the doorknob of your shared bedroom you pushed it slowly open, wincing as the door itself squeaked loudly but thankfully it didn't appear to phase the soundly sleeping striker on the other side of the room.

padding over to the bed you squatted down lovingly moving a few strands of loose blonde hair away from the girls face, gently murmuring good morning and pressing a lingering kiss to her warm forehead. never having been a morning person your girlfriend stirred but promptly rolled away from you over to the other side of the bed with a grunt.

your smile widened and you let out a small chuckle having already anticipated that the girl would be quite hard to get out of bed this morning, all the stress from rumors of her potential transfer from united meant she'd spent the last couple of weeks getting very minimal sleep. 

alessia had instead spent hours and hours doom scrolling through what social media was saying about it all, only falling into a deeper spiral of anxiety and discomfort much as you tried to beg and plead with her to stop listening to the outside world.

the last couple of days had been particularly brutal. 

ella was asking alessia a lot of questions she didn't have answers to which was frustrating her best friend to no end, the girl having been very vocal about supporting alessia no matter what but wanting to know what her plan actually was. 

but without a confirmed plan forward alessia just felt the pressure increase at ellas questions, fear of the unknown only adding to the heavy load she was already carrying on her shoulders. 

but today it was your sole purpose to take some of that weight away for her, and give her at least one day of feeling as though she wasn't weighed down by the expectations of others, every move constantly watched and over analysed by millions of strangers.

"good morning gorgeous." you hummed softly, climbing onto the bed beside her. "it's time to get up." you whispered poking gently at the blonde who whined tiredly and flopped onto her back, covering her face with her arms.

"come on less, time to wake up baby." you moved to carefully straddle her, torso tucked securely under the duvet as your own body rested atop the covers, legs settling either side of her blanket covered hips. "no it's not." alessia grumbled with a huff, tensing her biceps as you attempted to remove her arms from her face.

"yes it is, now stop covering that gorgeous face." you eventually won, intertwining your fingers with hers and pinning her hands against the pillow, bright blue eyes slowly fluttering open below you. "well hi there." you smiled like a lovesick puppy, letting go of her and moving your hands either side of her face, sweetly pecking at her lips a few times.

"m'tired." alessia slurred still half asleep, blinking a few times and  stretching out underneath you with a quiet groan, hands coming to rest on your bare thighs as slender fingers traced absent minded shapes along your skin. 

"i know you are my love which is why coffee and breakfast are ready and waiting downstairs." you laid down on her a little more, peppering her face with kisses causing the strikers lips to curl up into a smile, cheeks flushed rosy pink and eyes still a little puffy from her half asleep state your heart soared, you couldn't have been any more infatuated with her if you tried.

"today is alessia day so you have to get up because i've got plans for us." you announced happily, alessia tilting her head at your words. "but its not my birthday?" she frowned a little in confusion, arms sneaking up the back of your jumper and short nails scratching gently at your back like she knew you loved as you swooned at the gentle tired rasp of her voice in the morning.

"no its not, but i know you've been under a tremendous amount of pressure lately and i want you to have one day where you don't have to think about any of it, so todays all about you." you promised her sincerely, smoothing out the stress lines on her forehead where she was frowning and stealing a kiss.

"oh baby." you melted as the blonde sniffled, a few stray tears rolling from her ocean blue eyes which you tenderly wiped away with your sleeve. "why are you crying?" you asked softly, raking your hands through her hair as the striker wordlessly shook her head. 

"i don't deserve you." she eventually managed to choke out, tanned arms moving to wrap around your smaller frame the girl sat up quickly and engulfed you into a tight hug, catching you a little off guard the blonde held onto you as if you could fly away at any sudden moment.

"don't be silly less you deserve nothing but the best and if i can even give you half of that i'm happy." you mumbled into her hair, your own arms snaking around her neck as the two of you sat there for a few peaceful moments, just wrapped up in one another's tender and loving embrace. 

"i wasn't kidding though there is breakfast waiting downstairs." you pulled away with a smile, alessia tugging you down into a proper kiss and mumbling a thank you against your lips. 

~

"may i please have my phone back just for a second to text tooney?" alessia asked hopefully, you having taken her phone for the day knowing that you wouldn't have a chance at getting your girlfriend to unwind and relax if she had access to her social medias.

"i already told tooney you'd be off the grid today and i love you so very much but i know you won't be able to resist the temptation to not go for a little look around about the contract drama on social media. so no, you may not." your words may have seemed harsh but you made sure your tone conveyed that they came from nothing but a place of care, alessia nodding along in understanding

"so what's next for alessia day then princess?" the striker smiled pulling herself up to sit on the counter next to you as you finished rinsing the dishes used for breakfast, having banned your girlfriend from helping as much as she'd fought you on it.

"face masks, do each others nails, pitch perfect one to three with your favourite snacks, massage, wash your hair for you, make pasta for dinner." you dried your hands and ticked off your remaining plans using your fingers, moving to stand in between the older girls legs. 

"have i told you how much i love you?" alessia beamed at your words, doing her very best to focus all of her love, attention and energy into being alone with you in the little safe haven you'd both created behind the walls of your shared flat.

"mmm not in the last five minutes no?" you smiled softly, pressing your body against hers as the taller girl crossed her legs tightly around you. "sorry bella were you waiting for something?" alessia teased as you looked to her expectantly awaiting those famous three words, your heart skipping a beat as it always did anytime she spoke to you in italian. which the blonde was completely aware of and had no issues using to her advantage any time she so pleased.

"suddenly alessia day is cancelled." you rolled your eyes and attempted to walk away as the girl was quick to slide off the counter, tugging your back into her front and nestling her face into your neck. 

"ti amo tantissimo, mia bella ragazza." alessia rasped quietly in your ear and smiled against your skin before repeatedly kissing your cheek, watching in delight as they blushed at her words. 

"my pretty pretty girl." she continued, spinning you around in her arms and ducking so her mouth met yours and you wrapped your arms around her neck, tugging gently on her hair as she balled your jumper in her fists, pulling you impossibly close and deepening the kiss with a satisfied hum.

eventually needing to come up for air the two of you pulled away, exchanging a few sweet pecks before you grabbed her hand, tugging her out of the kitchen and whisking her away to continue with your plans.

~

"like this?" you asked holding up a freshly folded piece of ravioli, alessias smile softening at the way your face was scrunched up in concentration, the tip of your tongue just poking out of the corner of your mouth. "yeah, that looks good." alessia complimented, you adding your one piece to her basically completed pile, humming with satisfaction at your efforts.

"now please sit down. you've been so sweet and thoughtful today let me at least cook you dinner amore mio." alessia placed a tender kiss to your lips before playfully shooing you away as you pulled yourself up to sit on the counter, not wanting to be far from her.

she began to speak to you and at first you were following along and contributing to the conversation but as she began to roll out the next batch of pasta you found yourself minimized to only half listened hums in response.

fixated on the way her biceps flexed and tensed as she kneaded at the dough, eyes falling to the veins lining her ring clad hands as they poked and stretched at the pasta, alessia expertly rolling and manipulating it as she needed.

quickly noting your lackluster responses your girlfriend glanced up to find your gaze trained to her forearms, an amused smile settling on her lips as she purposefully rolled up the sleeves of her top and pressed a little harder than normal, flexing her arms and watching with a smug smile as you let out a small content sigh.

rolling out the last of the dough, having already filled and molded most of it into perfect little raviolis the older girl grew bored of your wordless responses. so with a mischievous glint in her eyes the italian grabbed a handful of flour and before you even had a moment to think you were surrounded by a tornado of white, choking on the flecks that made their way into your mouth and frantically rubbing at your eyes.

your girlfriend almost fell to the floor in laughter as you coughed a few times and attempted to shake the loose flour off the top of your head. "alessia!" you managed to choke out in shock, jumping down from the counter and grabbing your own handful of flour, quick to smack it into her head as she was too busy laughing at your misfortune to defend herself.

from that moment on your kitchen became a war zone, the two of you chasing one another around taking turns to douse the other, melodious laughter's echoing around the empty flat as your footsteps pounded against the floor.

"okay truce! we still have to clean this up." alessia glanced around at the ever growing mess as you paused, hand full of flour raised and ready to strike as the taller girl held her hands up in surrender, letting out a small sigh of relief as you emptied your hand onto the counter rather than into her once freshly washed hair.

what she failed to notice was you quickly slip an egg she'd not needed into the pocket of your her nike shorts, attaching yourself to her and bringing the blonde into a sweet kiss, her defenses instantly lowering and leaving her right where you wanted her, blissfully unaware of what you had planned.

"i think you mean you still need to clean this up because you started it!" you pulled away with a shake of your head, feeling the strikers hands slowly slide downwards, eventually settling themselves on your bum. "isn't the rule 'one cooks, one cleans'?" the blonde asked with a cheeky smile, squeezing at your bum and stealing a kiss before you could tell her off.

"is it?" you asked with a put on confused frown, hand slipping into your pocket and tightly gripping the egg, arm darting out to smash it over your girlfriends head as she was mid sentence. the girl let out a squeal at the unexpected attack, large hands grabbing for you as you tried to make a hasty getaway, almost slipping in the egg now joining the flour all over your once spotless floor the striker was quick to catch you, pulling you easily back to your feet.

though she should have known better given her own clumsy nature as no sooner had she steadied you did she slip herself, hands still settled protectively on your waist she unintentionally pulled you down with her.

the two of you shared a look before bursting out into laughter, rolling around on the floor and clutching at your stomachs, gradually crawling toward one another as alessias hand grabbed at the collar of your jumper, tugging you into a searing kiss as she carefully maneuvered herself to hover over you.

caught up in the blissful sensation of her mouth on yours you paid her no mind as she was quick to pin your hands to the cold tiled floor under her knees, settling herself on top of you before pulling away. it wasn't until you looked up and saw the knowing smirk on the blondes face did you realise what her intent was, the taller girl easily stretching up and grabbing what she was after from the counter.

"don't you dare." you warned seriously, squirming underneath her attempting to free yourself but it was to no use as your girlfriend was easily the stronger of the two of you. "you seemed to think it was pretty amusing, no?" alessias smirk widened as she twirled the egg around between her fingers.

"less please come on, you started it!" you whined in protest, trying to crane your neck away from her as her free hand reached out to grab your jaw, firmly holding your head in place as your stomach flipped at the action. 

ignoring your pleas the striker gently tapped the egg on the floor before cracking it open on your forehead, watching with a grin as your glare up at her deepened and the yolk dripped down your face. 

"so we have flour, egg...what's missing?" alessia pretended to think, mockingly stroking at her chin as you spat up all sorts of colorful language and threats in her direction as she grabbed the half full cup of water from the counter and you bucked your hips up trying to throw her off of you.

pushing her body down she was quick to once again have you at her mercy, the striker teasingly tipping the cup toward you but stopping right before the water tipped over the edge. "russo if you want to enter tomorrow a single woman i dare you to tip that cup." you spoke scarily calm, stormy eyes locked with hers in a silent promise.

"you're the cutest little ravioli i ever did see." alessia smirked, putting the cup down and dipping her head, breath warm against your lips as you shook your head, eyes still slit into a glare. "get off me." you demanded firmly, the striker lifting her hips to sit back on her knees  and allowing you to wriggle your body out from underneath hers.

"clean this up and cook that, i'm going for a shower." you ordered as you carefully stood to your feet, crossing your arms and jutting your hip out to the side as the blondes smile only widened, sitting up on her knees and grabbing at you, hugging your lower half as her head rested on your stomach.

"has anyone ever told you that you're extra fit when you're mad?" the girls hands began to wander, fingers tugging gently at the waistband of your shorts. "just some annoying blonde one night stand i can't seem to get rid of." you quipped back, hands finding hers and moving them away.

"well she sounds like a nightmare." alessia tutted with a shake of her head, hands instead sliding up the bottom of your shorts, tracing lines on your inner thighs. "the worst. just so clingy and needy, some people can't take a hint i guess." you shrugged, beginnings of a smile ghosting at your lips as you ran your hands fondly through her flour filled hair.

"want me to get rid of her for you? sounds like she could be dangerous." the blonde offered, your breath hitching slightly as her hands moved even higher. 

"oh yeah she's a stage five clinger, some would say even borderline a stalker! lets herself into my home and walks around with no pants on, eats all my food, hogs the duvet, whinges when i'm on her side of the bed but has a cry when i don't cuddle her enough, forces me to go to all of her stupid football matches then forces me into these disgustingly sweaty hugs when she wins, god she is terribly clumsy and-" having enough of your teasing alessia tugged on your matching top and short sending you falling into her awaiting grip, laying down on the floor with you now on top of her, your mouths moving together in perfect sync.

"sounds like you should break up with her." alessia mumbled into the kiss with an amused smile. "i've tried six times she just keeps coming back, i think she's in denial." you muttered as you moved your lips to focus on her neck, knowing exactly where the girl needed you.

"best alessia day ever." the blonde almost moaned as you softly bit down on her pressure point, hands firmly gripping at your back holding you on top of her. "you know i think i've decided its an ick you keep referring to yourself in the third person, kind of a turn off." you sat up far too quickly for her liking, looking down at her with pity as she rolled her eyes at your continued teasing's.

"i love you." alessia dropped the act and spoke sincerely, eyes shining with nothing but adoration and borderline obsession with the girl sat on top of her. "i love you more." you smiled, bending to pepper her face with kisses before again affirming you both really needed to shower and clean up, both of you getting to your feet.

"good thing you've got that clingy blonde stalker, could she clean up for us?" "yeah you know what i think i'll keep her around for a little while longer."

~ translations; bella - beautiful ti amo tantissimo, mia bella ragazza - i love you so much my beautiful girl amore mio - my love

[wondergotham]

Love To Hate

Request: “Can you do a James Hook x reader enemies to where reader is also a vk and part of Uliana’s crew but for some reason they hate each other and fight a lot to the point the others get annoyed at them and often tease them about how they act like an old married couple and should just get together already, then something happens that make them realize they realize they do have feelings for each other and they finally do get together? Sorry if it’s a lot”

Pairing: James Hook x Reader

In the long hallways of Merlin Academy, two people were notorious for their constant bickering: James Hook, the hotshot pirate, and Y/N L/N, the sharp-tongued VK. Daughter of Hans.

They had been rivals since they met, their competitive spirits igniting every interaction. Whether it was a simple argument over who could make a potion quicker or a debate about the best VK, their fiery exchanges were the stuff of local legend.

“Nice job making Uliana angrier, Hook!” You shouted, hands on your hips, as they saw their friend run off in a fury chasing after Bridget and Ella.

"You alright Uli? You're looking a little pink." You mocked how James had chuckled at Uliana as she transformed into a flamingo moments ago.

“At least I said something, you just stood there with your mouth wide open. Even Tick-Tock's mouth is smaller than yours.” He shot back, grinning despite the annoyance.

"Hmm I'm so flattered you were looking at my mouth." You smirked as you all continued to run behind Uliana.

Your friends, fed up with the relentless bickering, teased you. “You two act like an old married couple,” Hades would chuckle.

“Just get together already!” Maleficent added.

“Yeah, right!” You would retort, rolling your eyes. “I’d rather date Prince Charming.”

But beneath the surface, a tension simmered, one neither of you could quite acknowledge.

-

One rainy afternoon, you were flipping through your Defense Against the Dark Arts notes. A few textbooks are laid across from you. Loose sheets of paper are scattered on the desk.

You were reading about how to deflect specific hexes when a certain pirate sat down next to you.

"Studying for DADA? Never thought you would turn on your own people Villain Princess." Hook smirked.

Oh how you hated that nickname so much. And he knew it, clearly trying to get a rise out of you.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You dismissed.

Hook reached over and snatched the book holding it away from you with his good hand.

"James give it back!"

Thankfully no one was on the second floor of the library so you could be as loud as you wanted.

"I will once you tell me why you're studying so hard for this class when your father is the Prince Hans of the Southern Isles." Although Hook didn't really see an issue with it he just loved annoying you.

"Why? So you can laugh and tease me? No, thank you."

He noticed the way your eyebrows furrowed. The sharp exhale as you fought to get the book back.

It started as a joke but now it seemed like you were onto something serious.

"Is it really that bad darling?" He asked.

"You don't understand." You stood up trying to walk away but he quickly stood up and placed his hand on your shoulder.

The book long forgotten.

"Then tell me. For once don't argue with me." His eyes had a different expression. One you had never seen until now.

He was pleading for you to tell him.

You wanted to give him a sassy remark. To ask why he couldn't mind his own business. But today you were defeated you didn't want to argue anymore.

"It's my dad." You sighed. "Ever since I came to Merlin Academy his mission for me has been to come back home with a prince on my arm."

Hook stared at you intently trying to ignore the feeling in his stomach at the thought of some stuck-up prince holding you.

"Every time I come back for the holidays or when the school year ends he asks the same question."

"Have you found a prince yet? Our royal bloodline depends on it."

"He doesn't ask how I've been or how I'm doing in class. Me marrying a prince is all he cares about. But I don't want that." You whispered the last part shaking your head.

But Hook heard you, "Then what do you want darling?" He stepped closer to you.

You looked away trying to avoid his gaze. That was something you couldn't tell him. Not yet at least.

"Y/n tell me." There it was the same look in his eyes as before.

"I don't know. All I know is I do not want to marry a prince and live unhappy for the rest of my life. But I cannot tell my father. I'm afraid of what he'll do. Which is why I take DADA in the first place." You stated lifting up the book.

"If he tries to lock me up or do anything to try and force me to marry a prince I'll be more than prepared. He doesn't care enough to ask about my class schedule so he won't find out. I'll be ready if he retaliates."

"I don't know what to say." The young pirate's eyes shifted as his brain tried to find the right words. "Your father is not who I thought he was love. My problems with Tick-Tock are nothing compared to yours."

A sudden storm rolled in, dry lightning cracking across the sky. Heavy rain began to pour. It hit the stained glass windows of the library furiously.

It was time to leave. You had to get back to your dorm.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you anything." You quickly grabbed your things heading to the flight of stairs that led to the first floor.

You blew it, you idiot. Hook thought to himself as he ran after you.

Thankfully the dorms were right around the corner from the library.

As you opened the door to the common area you realized James was still following you. Once he made it inside you turned to look at him.

“This is your fault,” You said, shaking off droplets from your hair. “You always pick the most inconvenient days to bother me”

Even with your damp hair and slightly soaked clothes you looked ethereal. The small droplets on your eyelashes make them stand out even more.

He chuckled, his voice teasing. “Maybe you should learn to pick better weather for your study sessions.”

"I wouldn't have gotten soaked if you hadn't been such a jerk. I knew I shouldn't have told you anything." You shook your head tears threatening to spill.

Again you tried to walk away but James wrapped his hand around your wrist.

"I didn't mean to upset you, lass." He admitted. Your eyes softened as you looked at him.

"Look I know we haven't been the best of friends. But if this is really bothering you my best advice is to confront it. If you keep trying to deflect or trick your father it will make things worse darling. Take it from a pirate you have to face your challenges head-on."

The boy could almost see the gears in your mind turning as you let his advice soak in.

"Perhaps you could tell your father how you feel when he visits you? If you believe he'll retaliate he won't be able to do anything since he'll be on the grounds of Merlin Academy. And if he does you have us to back you up. VKs stick together."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. For the first time, you actually had a decent conversation with James Hook. One that didn't end with petty remarks.

"I never thought about it that way. Maybe you have a point....Thanks for the advice pirate,” You said softly, nudging his side. “I didn’t think you’d care enough to stick around.”

“Yeah, well,” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck “Maybe I’m not such a jerk after all.”

The air between you both shifted, a moment of vulnerability emerging. The teasing comments from your friends echoed in your minds, but now it felt different. You were no longer rivals; you were allies, working toward a common goal.

“Hmm we'll see about that." You said causing James to chuckle.

"You know,” A playful smirk appeared on his face, “if we stopped fighting, we might actually make a good team.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting we team up? Like, in life?”

“Maybe,” He teased, “but only if you promise to stop telling others that I love crocodiles.”

“And you stop calling me Villain Princess.” You shot back, but your tone was light, and playful.

-

Days turned into weeks, and your dynamic with James began to change. You still argued, but the fights were laced with a newfound flirtation. Your friends noticed the shift immediately and doubled down on the teasing.

“You two are practically dating.” Morgie smirked one morning in the dining hall.

“Shut up!” You shot back, though your cheeks flushed.

Maleficent just held back a chuckle. Thankfully it was just you three because the others were still in bed.

“I think you guys look cute together.” She smiled.

-

One evening, while the group was walking to Uliana’s lair, you caught James staring at you.

“What?” You asked, smiling.

“Nothing,” He replied, quickly looking away. But your heart raced, and you realized that your feelings for him had blossomed into something deeper.

That night, James lay awake, replaying the moments with you together. He could no longer deny it: he had feelings for you. But what would that mean for your rivalry? What would it mean for your friends?

-

The next morning, James decided he couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. He marched over to your dorm, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Y/n!” He called, through the door as he knocked.

You opened it and looked up, surprise etched on your face. “What’s going on?”

“I need to tell you something,” He said, his voice steady despite his nerves.

You moved over so he could step inside your dorm room. The door closed softly.

“Is it about how you finally admit I have better Swordsmanship?” You teased, a grin spreading across your face.

“Actually, it’s about how I think I might… like you,” He blurted out, his cheeks turning pink. “Like, really like you darling.”

The teasing faded from your expression, replaced by a look of genuine surprise. “You’re serious?”

“Yes.” He said, his heart racing. “I know we’ve fought a lot, but I can’t ignore it anymore.”

You stepped closer, a grin forming on your lips. “Well, I guess that makes two of us. Because I’ve been feeling the same way.”

James’ breath hitched. “But your father love. I don’t want him to hurt you if he finds out we’re together.”

His soft hand caressed the side of your face. He held you like a delicate flower.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I told him. I couldn’t wait until next month so I made a phone call.”

James’ eyes widened in surprise.

“He was upset. But he’ll come around I know it. Plus my mom can talk some sense into him. The point is we don’t have to worry James.” Your eyes sparkling with happiness.

James pulled you into a tight but comfortable hug and kissed your forehead.

“Love you have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I always knew how brave you were.”

“Thanks to you James. I couldn’t have done it without you,” You replied, your heart soaring as you shared a tentative smile.

-

As the weeks passed, the teasing from Hades and Morgie continued, but it was now accompanied by genuine support. And the girls were very happy for you both.

You and James found yourselves laughing. Spending a lot of time together.

One evening, as you both walked through the halls, James reached for your hand. Your heart raced as he entwined his fingers with yours, a smile spreading across your face.

“Looks like we really are an old married couple now,” You said, glancing at him with affection.

“Yeah,” He replied, wrapping his arms around you. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way gorgeous.”

In the heart of Merlin Academy, amidst the laughter and teasing, a new chapter began for you and James—one filled with love, friendship, and the promise of a future together.

[harlowtales]

Paparazzi knew puppy’s name and Y/N was left to her own devices 😤 🐶

18+ Only - Adult themes, Language

“Hey baby” Jack said calling early on FaceTime. It was early morning where he was on tour in New Zealand.

“You look so sexy and groggy.” You said admiring how gorgeous your husband always looks. He took off his bonnet and shook out his curls causing your heart to flutter.

“Stop looking at me like that Y/N that’s how we got Ella.” Jack said cautioning you. You had a little boy from a previous relationship and Jack accepted him fully as his own. “Where’s my little muffin and my boy?”

“Well Jax is at school and Ella is right here. She just finished nursing.” You said happily and showed Jack baby Ella half passing out, and smiling at the breast.

“Funny how our happy place is the same.” Jack said wistfully happy to get a peak at your boob.

“You’re so silly!” You giggled. “I miss you so much”

“I miss you guys like crazy but some people don’t want to pull their kids out of school to go on a world tour.” Jack said with an eye roll and still feeling a way about you making that decision.

“Stability Jackman. It’s all about stability.” You said taking a stretch. “I better get moving. I’m meeting Azura for a walk.”

Just then Lil puppy Lou Lou came bounding up and licked you in the face. Jack was thrilled to see her. She woke up Ella drifting off but she was happy anyway. Ella was always happy unless she was tired and then she’d fuss and rub her head of chestnut curls. She rarely fully cried and was almost sleeping through the night.

“Aight my baby tell Jax I love him and don’t worry about his math test ok. I’ll call y’all later. Your husband said. He made a naughty gesture just before he signed off.

“Jackman! I swear!” You yelled to a blank screen as he vanished. “Daddy looks too good Imma have to be careful before I have 10 y’all” you said to Ella who looked like she was gearing up to go out for a walk.

You took a quick shower and slipped into your favourite hoodie of Jack’s, some yoga pants, and your one of many pairs of New Balances. Today it was Carolina blue 550s because you were missing your man bad. You slipped Ella’s wiggly chubby legs into a New Balance jumper and got the leash on Lou Lou.

“Hey girl!!” You said excitedly to Urban’s girlfriend Azura. Little man is getting big!” You said ruffling their son Liam’s hair.

“Yes he is girl and getting like his daddy wanting to take pictures of everything. We got him a toy camera and he carries it around his neck everywhere like Urb.” Azura said looking down lovingly at 4 year old Liam.

Liam wandered a bit away as you chatted with Azura. Suddenly you heard him talking a few feet away to a lady who was asking questions about his toy.

“Hey there little guy I like your camera” She said with a smile and had a cute dog with her that Liam petted. Azura was watching and everything seemed fine. Liam loved dogs and nothing seemed wrong. It was a beautiful sunny day and lots of people were out walking with dogs.

“Liam be gentle with the puppy ok?” Azura cautioned as he politely asked to pick it up and the owner agreed.

“It’s fine.” The lady said “Hey, you’re Jack Harlow’s fiancée….Y/N isn’t it? And Baby Ella so adorable with puppy Lou Lou. Nice to see you enjoying this beautiful day.”

Both you and Azura froze with a bad feeling. They had been following you and poor little Liam walked right into the trap because the lady had a dog and seemed nice.

“Liam hunny put the doggy down we have to go.” Azura said sternly and cautiously.

“I’m not answering any of your questions.” You said firmly to the paparazzi and turned to leave.

“Well I bet the world will like to see how rude one of the hottest stars’s fiancee is.” They said taunting you.

Azura made a sudden move to jump on the lady and caused a scene. Urban wasn’t under as much scrutiny as Jack so him and his family didn’t have to go through people following them. Jack had trained you how to be in public and around the media. You leaped in front of Azura to prevent her doing anything foolish.

“Well one of you has some sense! I would sue you!” The lady spat back.

“….and we would sue yo ass right back bitch!” Azura clapped back

While the back and forth with the sneaky paparazzi and Azura was going on you had discreetly emergency dialled Andy an “sos” message. It was something Jack had set up for your safety. Andy’s secretary sent police to your location. You stalled the lady until they got there. Let me tell you something.” You said calmly to the lady maintaining your composure “Tell all your slimy fellow bottom feeders that make a living off of this that me and my family, including my husband are not taking any shit and WE will be suing YOU.”

Everyone in town knew who you were but only a small circle knew the puppy’s name. Someone must have told someone else and that someone else was paid off. A small crowd had gathered which made it difficult for the lady to take off running. Police were carefully approaching so as not to provoke her to flee. You saw them coming. You and Azura kept her talking with Azura continuing to intimidate her which she was much better at than you.

“Listen bitch, you don’t get to talk to people’s kids like that with your rented dog and pretend you’re friendly. That’s like attempted kidnapping.” Azura said angrily holding onto Liam who was scared.”

“Get over yourself lady. Nobody even knows who you are.” The paparazzi argued with Azura.

“They know me on twitch bitch!” Azura shot back as she was one of the biggest gamers.

Police were behind her without her knowing and heard the whole conversation.

“Look behind you.” You said smugly to her. She turned and realized she was under arrest.

“I didn’t try to kidnap no kid!!!” The lady paparazzi yelled. “I’m just doing my job!! Let go of me!” She said as police cuffed her and walked her away.

The call you were dreading coming in started lighting up your screen with your husband’s picture. You hesitated to answer. “Y/N dafuq is going on? Are y’all ok?” He said right away with Urban right beside him. “They knew pup’s name?”

“Azura? Liam? Daddy’s right here!” Urban shouted concerned and on the verge of tears.

“Bro call your chick on her phone.” Jack said to him annoyed.

“Jack we are fine see? Wave to daddy Ella, wave pups.” You said as cheerfully as possible and Azura waved too as Urban called her.

“Jack it’s all good we’re fine.” You said calmly not wanting him to know how you were really feeling.

“Nice try Y/N. I invented that whole never show people how you’re screaming inside type shit.” Jack said catching you in the act of trying to appear unbothered. I need Ella where is she?” He asked trying to see into the stroller. “Y/N why are you not holding her close right now with wackos on the loose and why are y’all still out?? Go back home please, and call when you get in.” Said Jack cooing with Ella and being strict with you. “Now Y/N”.

“Ok ok we’re headed back in.” You said irritated your one day out in a while turned into this.

“Listen I’ll have one of boys pick y’all up and take you to my parents. My mom is losing her mind right now. Ella and Lou Lou can play in the back yard.” Jack said in full dad mode. “Go pick up Jax first ok? You need to tell him before he finds out and make sure he’s not scared.”

All you wanted to do was go for a walk. Being Mrs. Harlow was not going to be easy. You didn’t like how firm Jack was with you and felt like he thought you weren’t being responsible enough. You hated when he got like this. “Oh and I love you too.” You said sarcastically. “Bye Jack.”

“Wait..I’m..I’m sorry baby. If you were hurt, if Ella…I can’t…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bark at you. I just…” He paused and was holding back tears. “I love you ok?” He finally finished looking away and trying to keep it together.

“Jack I’m sorry. I snapped at you.” You apologized. You knew he loved you.

“Please get little man, take Azura and Liam home, and sleep at my parents house tonight. Please Y/N.” Jack begged. Seeing him soften up made you feel warm inside.

“Ok baby whatever you need for peace of mind but I’m fine. Really.” You said.

“Yeah she not a little bitch like you!” Urban said getting off the phone with Azura and his son.

“Will you two get off my phone!” You giggled.

@itsyagirljaz @okaaay-mice @ride4harlow

[hedghost]

alessia russo | white lies

five secrets alessia could keep (and one she just couldn’t)

first-time post from a long-time lurker. i absolutely did not intend it to be this long, so i apologise, but i wanted to do the idea justice! feel free to give me thoughts or requests :)

word count: 6.6k

one

famously, alessia could have her blonde moments. the occasional blank stare when she missed the tail end of a question, a furrowed brow as the punchline of a joke flew over her head.

honestly it didn’t bother her; so what if people thought she was slow? she knew her own intelligence. certainly, on the pitch, it was evident that she wasn’t stupid. she could be funny, she knew things, she spoke well, and she always made sure to think before she spoke. although that was less about seeming measured, and more because, if there was one thing alessia did know, it was the value of a secret.

after a few years in the spotlight, alessia had learned the hard way that there were certain things that were just better left under wraps. some things the media or the fans shouldn’t know, and some things best kept between friends. she kept a long mental list of secrets for different people, collecting them, and keeping them clutched to her chest. alessia took a small pride in knowing she was the one people went to, the one person they could trust with their darkest secrets.

alessia mused over her list as she drove to the stadium before the next match. mentally laying each secret out in front of her like a prized collection, dusting them off, and storing them back inside. the first she knew would be brought up again today, knew it would take her usual efforts to make sure it remained a secret.

walking into the changing room, alessia only narrowly dodged a flying shinpad that went clattering into the doorframe. alessia’s quick reactions only really served to cause her to lose her footing, just to be caught by your steady hands.

“oops, sorry less! i was aiming for tooney,” you smiled sheepishly, your hands still firm around her waist. alessia swallowed.

“idiots,” she laughed. you let go and stalked over to grab the wayward shinpad. this time, your throw found it’s mark, hitting ella squarely in the forehead and causing the changing room to erupt into laughter.

this was no real deviation from the team’s usual pregame ritual. typically, you and ella, ever the jokers, would engage in some play-fight of slapstick-esque proportions, entertaining the team while they all got ready. this of course meant you two then had to scramble to get changed as the rest of the girls walked out onto the pitch. alessia, who was never really found without at least one of her two best friends, would wait behind with you as you tied your boots.

you always had a lot of nervous energy before games, and ella’s constant faffing and time wasting as she collected her boots, tied her hair up for the billionth time, checked her mascara etc., would, without fail, mean you’d end up leaving the two of them behind, only for them to jog out and join you with seconds. this was the ritual, and alessia liked it.

“fucking hell, ella stop fannying about!” you whined.

ella, as always, was the last to put her boots on. she was combing back flyaways in the mirror, in just her socks. you and alessia watched on, fully kitted out by now. alessia leant back against the door and smiled as she watched you try to hurry ella on. she'd been through this many times before.

alessia knew the routine. she knew you would leave in a second, and she knew ella would stop dithering immediately after you did. and then, as always, she would tie ella’s bootlaces for her, and they would catch you up.

this was the big secret. alessia, to be honest, didn’t see the big deal, but ella was insistent that no one could ever find out, not even you. and as silly as alessia thought it was, and as much as she hated not telling you things, this was her duty as secret keeper and she did it diligently.

it had started years ago, long before you had arrived and turned the duo into a trio. ella had been in a state before an away match, refusing to tell anyone what had her fretting so much. alessia had taken her to the side, and it had slipped out; she didn’t know how to tie her own laces. her dad had always been at games, always tied them tight as a last good luck measure. in a flash, alessia had knelt at ella’s feet, tying the boots without saying a word. then she’d taken ella’s hand, and pretended not to see her swipe at tears as they walked onto the pitch together.

ella had found her before the next game, shyly asking her to repeat the action. alessia had done it without question, and just like that, it became their thing.

alessia had tried, of course, countless times to teach ella how to do it herself, but she suspected at some point it had become more superstition that anything. alessia had tied ella's boots once, and she’d played well, so now alessia would tie her boots forever. even now that many players preferred to play with laceless boots, ella never wavered. she said she just preferred the look, but alessia (and only alessia) knew the truth.

alessia watched on as you got increasingly impatient with ella. she smirked as you rolled your eyes once again.

"come on ella, if we leave now you might be in time for the second half,"

alessia had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. you were cute when you were frustrated. ella ignored you, still checking her reflection in the mirror, completely unfazed.

as annoying as ella was being, you felt bad that alessia was always the one to stay and deal with ella's antics. you were determined to remain, if only to give alessia moral support. little did you know that meant it was you who was holding up proceedings.

alessia, however, had been through this many times before and was practiced in the art of secret-keeping, and therefore distraction. she had a few tactics up her sleeve yet.

she looked over to where you leant against the doorframe, and flashed you her sweetest smile.

"y/n? i think i left my gatorade in the shower room, could you go grab it for me?"

as always, those eyes made you putty in her hands, and you pushed yourself off from the wall to go and look. as soon as you turned your back, alessia was knelt at ella's feet, her nimble fingers moving with practiced ease as they followed the path they'd traced countless times before. she was standing again by the time you returned.

"there's no gatorade in there less, are you sure its not in here?"

she flashed you a sheepish smile, putting on her best ditzy blonde impression, "oops, its right here! sorry y/n,"

you shrugged in response. before you could tell her not to worry, ella cut you off. she had moved to walk out the door, yelling over her shoulder as she did so,

"come on, what are you waiting for?"

you watched after her in exasperated incredulity as she exited the room. alessia laughed brightly at your expression, slinging her arm around your shoulder and dragging you out to the field with her. ella's secret was safe for another day.

two

you and alessia settled in next to each other as you took your seats on the plane for the lionesses' next away game. the two of you had been thick as thieves for years, and you couldn’t deny that the thought of having alessia nearby had been a deciding factor in your recent transfer move. still, you treasured each quiet moment you spent in each other's company, as you had for years.

you and alessia hadn’t always been close. you’d known each other through the youth age groups of course, but your relationship only really went from acquaintances to close friends around the age of sixteen. sure, you loved your teammates and got on well with all of them, but you were a fairly shy teenager, keeping them at all at arms length, and often finding yourself only hanging around the edge of conversations.

alessia was a nostalgic person, and liked to reminisce often about the circumstances that had led to your close relationship.

when you were younger, seeing as how you typically kept to yourself, it was usually easy for you to sink into the background. although sometimes this was a point of insecurity, you relished the chance for solitude whenever it came to flights. you’d always been a particularly anxious flyer, and you appreciated that you could usually nab a seat at the back to yourself, allowing you to hide your panic.

usually you got away with it. usually, you could find a pair of seats to yourself, deal with the panic quietly and alone, saving yourself from embarrassment.

of course, at some point, your luck ran out.

“hey! mind if i sit here?” came a familiar voice. you looked up in surprise, but you knew whose bright blue eyes would be looking down at you well before your gaze found them. alessia gave you little time to respond before settling herself into the seat next to you with a sweet smile. you had no time to concoct some lame excuse. you could only nod, and accept your fate.

of course it was her. of course, out of anyone, it was the person who would be the sweetest about it, the most understanding. how embarrassing.

alessia didn’t seem to notice your internal panic, instead sweeping you up immediately into conversation. and for a while, it worked to distract you. you barely noticed take off, didn’t even flinch as your stomach dropped and ears popped, too enraptured in alessia’s bright conversation.

that is, until the first bout of turbulence. the plane rocked, and you stopped mid-sentence. mentally gathering yourself, you tried to calm down, managing to carry on as though nothing had happened. alessia didn’t seem to notice your plight. you’d got away with it. then the plane dropped again.

this time, alessia was quick to notice the way your breath caught, the way your arms held tight to the arm rests, the white knuckle grip you had on them. you vaguely heard her say something, but you couldn’t focus on her voice enough to comprehend. all you could do was try to regulate your breathing, stave off the panic long enough to preserve your dignity.

a gentle touch on your arm brought you back to reality, “y/n? are you okay?”

you tried to speak, to respond, but you couldn’t muster the words. you shut your eyes tight, trying to turn away from alessia.

“hey, hey,” she soothed, her hand over yours, “it’s okay, we’re safe, everything’s okay,”

you wanted to pretend it was all fine, but you were too far gone. you buried your head in your hands, tried to focus on alessia whispering to you to ‘breathe, just breathe’.

you don’t know how long you sat like that, her guiding you through blind panic with soft touches and gentle words. at some point, your hand found hers, and you clutched it like a lifeline as the plane rode out its last bits of turbulence.

eventually, your breathing returned to relative normal. you hesitated to look up and meet alessia’s eyes, instead burning holes into your clasped hands. you noted her perfectly done manicure, how the light caught each painted nail, how the soft skin of her fingertips felt caressing your calloused palms.

“you okay y/n?”

finally you tore your gaze away from her hands, only to be met with her eyes. you’d never noticed how strikingly blue they were. you nodded, swallowing harshly. you were sure she’d be able to feel your pulse rising in your joined hands, praying she’d chalk it up to your panicked episode, not something completely different.

“not a big fan of flying then?” she prompted.

“no, not exactly,” you laughed, mouth dry. as much as you hated to admit it, alessia’s presence had definitely calmed you. you were barely conscious of the fact you were still thousands of feet in the air.

“that’s okay, i’ll distract you,” you hoped you weren’t blushing . if only she knew, you thought, but alessia had already plowed on, chatting about god knows what to distract you.

she kept it up until you landed. as she stood up to exit the plane, she squeezed your hand and offered a small smile. she went to pull away, but you pulled her hand back,

“could you please not tell anyone about this?”

“course not,” she smiled “our secret.”

then she’d strolled off the plane as though she hadn’t just changed the course of your life.

from then on, alessia always managed to slip away from her other friends and wind up in the seat next to you. it had become a steady constant in your routines. you'd never had a bad flight since, and true to her word, alessia had never told a soul.

three

the perks of england camps were numerous. from the training, to the facilities, the matches, even the food, alessia enjoyed it all. arguably the best thing of all though, was the ample opportunities for downtime with the team.

alessia was nestled in between you and maya on a sofa, only half listening to leah and keira regale some embarrassing tale about georgia, involving a bad date and what sounded like a lot of alcohol. georgia was burying her head in her hands as the rest of the team dissolved into fits of giggles at the story. alessia laughed along, dropping her head to your shoulder as the conversation moved onto other player's poor tastes in partners and shitty date experiences.

"okay wait! lets all go around the circle and say our most embarrassing crushes!" alessia felt your shoulder stiffen underneath her at beth's suggestion, and she knew exactly why.

alessia herself had only found out by accident, stumbling in on you crying out the aftermath in the bathroom. she'd held you as you calmed down, before you made her swear not tell anyone.

the night had started out well enough. you both were at an 18th birthday party for one of your england teammates. you'd joked around with all the other girls, dancing and singing, and drinking probably a little too much. the alcohol would end up being a bad idea, especially for you.

the girl who's birthday it was had an older sister in her early twenties. aged 17 and a bit, you were absolutely infatuated with her. you'd met her a few times before at games and training, she was cool and collected, and you were obsessed. the fact she would be in attendance at the party had definitely been a factor in your outfit choices, and probably in the amount of alcohol you had downed with alessia and ella at pres.

the whole night long, you were hyper aware of her presence in the room. too shy to ever make a move, you stuck to longing glances and daydreamed fantasies.

your downfall was soon to come though, when one of the older girls suggested an innocent game of spin the bottle. most of you were well past tipsy at this point, and so you all agreed readily. you laughed as your teammates kissed each other one by one; the messy, inexperienced kind of kisses only drunk teenagers could perfect. soon enough it was your friend's sister's turn, and you couldn't help the prayers you mentally uttered.

you would decide later that whoever answered those prayers had a sick sense of humour. the bottle landed on you. you leant forward, trying to contain your excitement. it was only a peck, but to you it was fate and poetry rolled into one. the game continued on, but all you could think about was the feel of her lips against yours. soon, the game faded into non-existence, as people began to get distracted and get up to refill drinks or amuse themselves elsewhere. you saw your crush slip out into the garden, and instilled with misplaced confidence from the peck, you saw your opening.

stepping into the cool air, you were relieved to see she was alone. you approached, placing a shaking hand onto her arm.

"oh hey-" you cut her off, pressing your lips against hers. it barely lasted a moment, before she pushed you off, nothing short of disgust on her face.

"woah there! i'm not a fucking lesbian!" she turned on her heel and stalked back inside, only stopping to utter one last crushing remark, "and i don't kiss kids!"

to your teenage self, it was an earth-shattering rejection. you managed to make it to an empty bathroom before you broke down. your ears rang with her comments as your cursed your own stupidity. in your rush to be alone, you'd forgotten to lock the door, and you jumped when gentle hands wrapped you up into a hug.

alessia had been watching you all night. she'd seen the glances you cast over at your friend's sister, before she lost sight of you after the ill-fated game. that was until she saw you duck into a bathroom, cheeks red and head bowed. she'd followed in a heartbeat.

alessia's heart ached for you as you sobbed into her shoulder. the sting of rejection had worn off, leaving space only for pure embarrassment.

"i'm such a fucking idiot," you mumbled into her shoulder when the tears had stopped.

alessia pressed her lips to your hair, "no you aren't, don't be silly," she knew the pain of unrequited crushes all too well. she knew the way they consumed you, blinded you to sense. "shh, it'll be okay," she murmured, "don't cry, its okay,"

"oh god, i bet she's already told everyone how weird and gross i am. i can never show my face again,"

alessia laughed at your dramatics, "shall we go home?" she said, and you nodded wearily, "let's go,"

as it turned out, the girl hadn't told anyone, and you'd been in the clear. the secret stayed between you and alessia, the single witness to your most embarrassing night.

alessia knew you didn't want anyone to know about that, even now, six years later. she also knew you well enough to know that instead of coming up with an alternate answer to beth's question, you were likely frozen, reliving your embarrassment. she had to think fast to preserve your secret. everyone laughed as rach shamelessly announced her childhood crush on some celebrity she'd never heard of, and then everyone turned to you expectantly. alessia cleared her throat.

"pretty sure y/n used to fancy that woman off countdown," she lied, and the room erupted into laughter once again. thankful for lessi's quick save, you groaned and buried your head in your hands, going along with her white lie. crisis averted. alessia carried on, giving her own fake answer about a boy from school. a practiced lie. once the group's attention had passed on from the two of you, she felt you grab her hand. you squeezed her fingers in thanks, and she squeezed back. she was getting good at this lying business. anything for you, and your secrets.

four

alessia was widely regarded as an excellent friend; someone who could be depended on, completely and utterly trusted without question. alessia knew this, and held such compliments with high regard. she had long ago cemented her place as someone to be trusted within her circle, and therefore concentrated her efforts in keeping that reputation. she knew her friends just thought she was a good secret keeper because it was in her nature, that she was just a good person through and through.

alessia herself knew however, that the reason she placed such strong value on other people’s secrets was because she had been keeping one of her own for far, far longer than she had kept any of theirs.

it had first become apparent as a teenager. as she listened to her friends fawn over their latest male obsession, or regale their recent kisses with boys at parties, or debate who the hottest boy in class was. she tried her best to engage, to get involved, but with every boy who came close to kissing her, she was finding it harder and harder to force interest. eventually, she came to realise the way she felt about certain teammates, the way she'd avert her eyes in the changing room, the way her gaze followed pretty girls in the hallway, wasn't the norm. the realisation had hit her like a truck. alessia russo was gay, and she had no clue what to do about it.

she kept the feelings buried for a while. she faked attachments to boys, tried kissing a few just to throw her friends off the scent, before eventually she stopped bothering. she said she was too busy with football to date, and that remained her excuse. that didn't stop her falling head over heels for multiple girls over the years, didn't stop her heart fluttering whenever certain people looked her way. a certain someone.

eventually, especially playing women's football, a lot of her friends started to come out. alessia knew she could've done the same, knew she'd be met with no judgement, but it was as though there was a mental block stopping her. as outgoing as she was, she didn't enjoy opening herself up. and so, never one to wear her heart on her sleeve, she guarded the secret closely. months turned into years, and it became just something she did. she was too far gone to announce it now.

she knew she'd tell people at some point in her life, but why bother when there was no girl on her arm to show off?

and it wasn't like she hadn't come close. especially to you, who had been open about your sexuality for years. alessia couldn't count how many times she'd opened her mouth to tell you, only for the words to catch in her throat. it was almost as though she'd left it too late now, built it up in her head, and the moment just never seemed right.

she'd been with girls before of course. in dark corners at clubs where no one would see, fumbled kisses with strangers in bathrooms. but never anything deep, never the connection she ached for.

alessia listened as you complained to her about your recent date with the latest girl. 'a complete dead end', you described it, 'like talking to a brick wall,' you laid your head across her lap and shut your eyes.

"god, i wish the girls i dated were more like you less. then i'd actually have something to talk about with them," alessia swallowed, her fingers working their way through your hair. god, if only you knew.

five

being gay wasn't the only secret alessia held close to her chest. there was another, far worse, far more guarded. the secret that kept her awake at night, that spiked guilt deep in her stomach whenever you smiled at her. painful memories of that fateful night, which she wished more than anything you would remember.

it happened at the celebration party last summer. the lionesses had been victorious at the euros, and euphoria was running rampant amongst the whole team. everywhere you looked, people were drunk off elation. the drinks had started flowing in the changing rooms, and they had kept coming ever since.

the constant flow of people meant you and alessia had only spent passing moments together. every time you seemed to find each other in the crowd, someone new would turn up and pull one of you away, with ecstatic congratulations, or the promise of a drink.

in a brief break from dancing, alessia found herself sat at the bar with ella and a few others. she sipped her drink as the others chatted excitedly. recently, she'd been finding that her eyes sought you out unconsciously. more and more, she'd been realising that wherever you were in a room, she'd notice. tonight was no different. her gaze finally landed on you, carefree and dancing amongst a crowd of people.

usually, she had the sense to not stare for too long, but with her inhibitions hindered by the drinks, and her mood high off the back of the win, she allowed herself a moment of grace. the soft smile that crept onto her face as she looked longingly after you was unbidden, but she didn't care to look away. alessia was sure that if anyone followed her eyeline she'd be found out, but everyone was too wrapped up in their own elation to bother.

across the crowd, your eyes met hers. you grinned widely, before freeing yourself from the crowd just long enough to grab her hand and pull her onto the dance floor. emboldened by the alcohol, she let herself dance a little closer than she usually would, let the touches linger a little longer.

neither of you knew how long you danced, just riding the wave of the win for as long you could. alessia could tell you were equally as drunk as she was, if not more. eventually, you leaned closer to be heard over the music,

"come with me to get some air?" alessia could only nod, hyper aware of your breath on her cheek. she let herself be led away by you, into the cool summer air.

you all but collapsed onto a bench, laughing as you clumsily pulled alessia down with you. you leant into alessia, her arm finding its familiar place around your shoulders as you let the comfortable silence descend. it was the early hours of the morning by now. alessia could hear the thump of music and shouts of people from inside, but out here, you were completely alone. despite her lack of sobriety, she was hyper aware of the way your body felt against hers.

"what a night hey," you laughed, and she nodded. "we fucking did it less!"

"champions of europe baby!" you yelled into the night, making alessia laugh and slap your arm.

you smiled, leaning back into alessia, "proud of you lessi" you whispered. when she didn't respond, you shifted to look at her.

"i'm serious less. i'm so proud of you. proud of us."

alessia couldn't find the words to respond. she could only think about how close your face was to hers. you smiled softly, and she smiled back. her eyes never left yours. you seemed to be breathing in sync. it was now or never. the alcohol spurring her on, alessia began to speak,

"y/n, i-"

she was cut off by you leaning in to close the gap. her eyes fluttered shut as your lips grazed hers, and she melted into the kiss. you pulled back to assess her reaction, but alessia barely gave you a second to breathe before she kissed you again. alessia poured all the years of pining, every pent up emotion into that kiss, and you gave her everything and more back. her brain short-circuited as your hand went to caress her cheek, her own hands fumbling clumsily to wrap around your waist.

at some point, one of you broke away. you pressed your forehead to hers, "we should probably get back to the party," alessia nodded. she was caught in a haze of euphoria. she would've done anything you asked in that moment; would've chased you to the moon and back. you smiled, before pressing your lips to her forehead and pulling her to her feet.

alessia would've liked to stay attached to your hip all night, but as soon as you re-entered the party you were both swept away by your respective friends, and she was left staring after you. the rest of the night was a blur, but alessia had truly never been happier.

alessia woke the next morning to the memory of your lips against hers. her head pounded with the hangover as she dragged herself out of bed and over to your room next door. it was customary for the two of you to end up in each others rooms after a heavy night to discuss the events and ride out the hangover together, but today, her heart pounded as she knocked on your door. she wasn't sure what the events of last night meant for your friendship, but she was running through various speeches and declarations as she waited.

eventually you cracked the door open, peering out at alessia with bleary eyes. "morning," you whispered with a smile, opening the door fully for alessia before collapsing back into your bed.

alessia followed you in, mouth dry and heart pounding as she perched next to you on the bed. she decided to let you take the lead with the conversation, though she ached to bring up the kiss.

"god, what even happened last night," you moaned from the covers, "i don't remember a thing,"

alessia's heart dropped to her stomach. "you don't remember anything?" she asked. you looked up at her curiously.

"i mean, i remember dancing, and then, literally nothing," your eyes widened, "oh god, did i do something embarrassing? lessi, please say i didn't."

alessia forced a smile onto her face, forced herself to push down the emotions coursing through her veins, "no, you didn't do anything," she forced herself to settle further into your bed.

"nothing at all,"

plus one she couldn't

after the euros, and the ensuing heartache, alessia had tried to distance herself from you. she'd lasted all of a week of subdued contact before you'd pulled her back in again. she couldn't resist you or your company, utterly powerless to do anything but come running back to your side like a lost puppy. you didn't even have time to notice something was up.

and so alessia settled back into your orbit, and tried unsuccessfully to get over you. despite how you'd acted that night, you once again gave her no indication of seeing her as anything more than a best friend, and so she tried her best to see you the same. she longed to bring up the kiss, to do anything to remind you, but your clear lack of memory told her that it hadn't meant anything to you.

playing together for club and country, you spent nearly all your days together. alessia spent each of those days in silent turmoil. her heart would pound with each innocent touch, her brain would malfunction every time you flashed her a smile. only at night, in the quiet of her room, would she allow herself to feel. she'd stare at the ceiling into the early hours of the morning, replaying each encounter, eyes glistening with unshed tears. she envied you for not remembering the kiss. god how she wished she could forget it. it replayed behind her eyelids every time she blinked: she felt the brush of your lips against hers every time she glanced down at your mouth as you spoke.

since it became apparent that it couldn't have meant anything to you, she'd done her best to get over you. but now that she'd experienced it, she could never go back. her love for you had swelled to the point of utter consumption, and she couldn't even begin to remember what it felt like to see you only as a friend.

being as experienced in the art of secret keeping as she was, she'd managed to keep you in the dark, but it was getting harder and harder to act like everything was okay. whilst you remained clueless to her plight, other people were starting to notice.

alessia was finally caught out after a particularly bad day. training had been rough, the weather was awful, and the stress and emotion of it all was starting to become too much for her. her heart ached for you every time you laughed. every time you called her name it was like a stab to the chest. she winced as she felt the beginnings of a headache, desperate to leave the training ground and crawl into bed as soon as she could.

noticing something was wrong, you'd rubbed her back and pulled her in for a hug.

"you okay less? headache?" you'd murmured, trying to meet her eyes. normally she revelled in how well you could read her, but right now, she hated it. she could only nod in response. you reached a gentle hand up to touch her forehead, "are you coming down with something?"

alessia wanted so badly to relax into your familiar embrace and sink into the comfort she craved, but she pulled away, ignoring your question and mumbling a lame excuse about getting home, before speeding to her car.

hearing someone chase after her, she steeled herself to face you again. instead, when she turned, she was met with ella.

"lessi, what's wrong?"

"nothing, ella, it's just been a long day," she sighed. she turned to get into her car, but ella blocked her path.

"don't bullshit me lessi, i know you. you think i haven't noticed how weird you've been acting lately?"

the confrontation was too much. alessia could feel tears begin to prick at the corner of her eyes, and she knew there was no escaping it.

"not here," she mumbled, opening the car door and motioning ella to get into the other side. she barely gave ella time to sit down before she drove off, only making it to the end of the road before the tears started flowing. she pulled over and buried her head in her hands.

ella didn't seem to know what to do, clearly she hadn't expected alessia to do this. her shock was only momentary though, and her hand reached out to stroke alessia's back.

"hey, hey, its okay, less, its okay. talk to me,"

alessia could only shake her head against her hands.

"i can't do this anymore ella, i just can't,"

ella just rubbed her arm, clueless to what she was talking about. in ella's presence, she let her facade fall apart a little.

"it's so stupid, i'm so stupid."

"is this about y/n?"

alessia whipped her head up to look at ella, who smiled wryly.

"you aren't very good at hiding it less,"

"fuck, i just-" she pressed her head into her hands again. "it's so embarrassing. i just don't know what to do. i can't keep doing this, it just- it hurts,"

"i think you need to tell her,"

"that's the worst possible solution to this ella,"

ella smiled again and raised an eyebrow, "i wouldn't be so sure,"

"you're an idiot, and your advice is awful," alessia muttered. she breathed deeply, collecting herself, before starting the car again, "i'm dropping you home, and we're forgetting this conversation ever happened,"

"whatever you say, less," said ella, smirking as she leant back in her seat, "whatever you say,"

despite her best efforts, the conversation with ella stuck in alessia's mind all week. even you were starting to notice how distracted she was being, and you brought it up one night, as you lay sprawled in your usual position on her sofa.

"have you been avoiding me lessi?" you joked, but alessia caught the flash of doubt in your eyes. she mentally cursed herself, once for not hiding it well enough, and then again for making you feel guilty about it. she decided she could only attempt to laugh it off.

"what are you talking about? we've literally been together all day."

"no, yeah i know, but you just seem, i don't know, distracted? closed off," alessia felt your head turn to look up at her, but she kept her own gaze firmly planted on the tv screen.

"i'm fine. just tired. its been a long week," she knew as soon as she said it that you'd see right through the flimsy excuses.

"well okay, but, you know you can always talk to me, yeah? if there was something bothering you?" your voice trailed off. alessia swallowed harshly. when she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper.

"i can't,"

at this, your full attention was on her, the tv long forgotten. alessia felt sick at her own barely there confession.

"lessi, come on. you can tell me anything. i'm your best friend,"

that was the last straw. best friend, she reminded herself. any hope alessia still had of preserving her dignity flew out the window, and she had to press her lips together to keep from crumbling. you saw her falter, and you sat up in a heartbeat, your hands taking hers. alessia tried to pull away, but the grip you had on her was magnetic.

"y/n, i-" she bit her lip, shaking her head and looking away. if she spoke she'd say something she'd regret. the confession was on the tip of her tongue, just begging to be let out. alessia resolved herself, mentally replaced the confession with another white lie. but then she looked up, and her eyes met yours. god, those eyes. alessia was taken back to the night of the kiss, when she'd been enraptured in those same eyes; when she'd looked into them to find the brazen reflection of her own adoration.

it was all she could do to look away. she felt her mouth move, heard her own voice as though from a distance, speaking completely unbidden.

"i'm in love with you,"

they were the truest words she'd ever uttered, but god how she wished she could take them back. her brain raced with excuses, but she could only whisper disconnected thoughts and jumbled apologies. she regained just enough control over her words, but the damage was done.

"i know you don't feel the same - i'm sorry - i didn't want to make it weird - i'm sorry - please don't let this ruin us - i'm sorry."

alessia didn't dare look at you; your silence was indication enough. however, as always, alessia could never stay away from you for too long. as she braved one glance up, her words fell away from her.

you stared back at her, looking at her as though she'd hung the moon and all the stars.

"alessia," you whispered her name like a prayer on your tongue, "you have no idea how long i've wanted to hear you say that,"

years of pining, of heartache, of sleepless nights and longing glances, had not prepared alessia for this outcome. she stared at you, frozen in shock. all the fight, all the panic, had abandoned her, and she could only stare.

you leaned in, and she let herself fall into the kiss. she'd thought nothing could've been better than the first, but my god was she wrong. with one touch, you silenced all her doubts. you poured out the answer to every question she had. the two of you curled impossibly closer into each other, until alessia wasn't sure how you could've ever been separate.

you smiled against her lips, eyes blissfully remaining shut.

"why didn't you tell me sooner?"

alessia shrugged shyly, "it was a secret," you pulled away fully, eyes searching deep into hers.

"not anymore," you said, and alessia flashed a bright smile. your heart flipped at the sight.

"no," she murmured, "never again."

thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed :)

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday 

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day. 

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto. 

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life. 

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes. 

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders. 

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time. 

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison. 

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal. 

The biggest, actually. 

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore. 

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly. 

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun. 

You’ve missed this. 

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days. 

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them. 

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for. 

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm. 

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.” 

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him. 

“It’s good to be back, chef.” 

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!” 

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth. 

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing. 

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk. 

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief. 

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.” 

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up. 

Oh it is so on. 

*

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel. 

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived. 

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?” 

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.” 

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of. 

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room. 

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant. 

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little. 

Now that you’re here, in the city. 

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away. 

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure. 

For all of your sakes. 

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on. 

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed. 

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his. 

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you. 

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him. 

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips. 

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door. 

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. 

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls. 

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something. 

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks. 

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney. 

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face. 

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance. 

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating. 

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all. 

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield. 

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you. 

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time. 

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music. 

There were big changes coming to The Bear. 

*

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene. 

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time. 

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row. 

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly. 

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you. 

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since. 

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney. 

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy. 

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer. 

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you.  “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. 

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook. 

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you. 

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds. 

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look. 

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy. 

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction. 

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship. 

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject. 

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away. 

You: On the way back. 

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely. 

Your friends were and always have been right about you. 

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king. 

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received. 

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke. 

You type back a quick, yet short reply. 

You: Love you. 

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom. 

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier.  Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply. 

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears. 

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along. 

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him. 

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. . 

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly. 

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you. 

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case. 

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet. 

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders. 

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh. 

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.  

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke. 

He laughs dryly. 

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly. 

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request. 

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you. 

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

*

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

[cooki3face]

what will your marriage be like 💍

I’d been thinking about how much humans fight and disagree but the one thing we have in common is the love we share for things around us. For people in our lives. We have wars, we fall into different categories politically, we have different souls purposes, we have different needs, different desires. But most often, what we do share, what we all desire is to love and to be loved. So anyways, here’s the reading for today. I’m working on trying to crimp out two readings a day or within the week.

***

i.

channelled music 🎵:

There Is Something on Your Mind- Big Jay McNeely

Misty- Ella Fitzgerald

At Last- Beyoncé’s cover from the Cadillac record’s soundtrack

I Wonder Why- Dion & The Belmonts

Stormy Weather- Etta James

A Sunday Kind Of Love- Etta James

Channeled locations 📍: Vancouver, New Orleans, San Francisco, New York city, Maine, South Carolina, Seattle

-

I see this being a marriage with someone you knew in the past whom you had a true love with that you may have had to walk away from or put down for a while in the name of growth or internal alignment. Like right person wrong time. Of course that doesn’t exist spiritually because all the time is the right time, divine timing is always right but you know what I mean. I see happiness and genuine joy within this marriage with this person. I see two people celebrating their marriage and their love and what it took to get them there every single day of their lives together like you know that drake song where he says “it might not mean nothing to y’all, but understand nothing was done for me, so I don’t plan on stopping at all, I want this sh*t forever.” The two of you put a lot of work in for yourselves for this connection, this connection was divinely orchestrated. All the pain, all the hardship, all the separation was for the greater good so you guys can grow and have the divine love you wanted.

Everyone’s gonna be looking at the two of you. I see you guys glowing, I see the two of you rising to success in each-others love and in each-others presence. There’s so much self love and confidence between the two of you. It’s giving power couple, it’s giving when two people in a connection are very attractive and have a lot going for themselves. Everyone wants to look at them, everyone wants in on their connection and the love they share, everyone aspires to have that one day. I’m hearing Beyoncé, “so many people that I know, they just tryna touch ya. Kiss up, and rub up, and feel up on ya. Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again I’m gonna kiss up, and rub up, and feel up, kiss up, and rub up and feel up on ya”

I get heavy feminine energy within this group. Some of you are involved with a masculine or this masculine from your past is someone who is very desired or that people will desire even more when you guys come together and wed. This masculine could’ve been someone who clung to romantic/sexual company in his past for some time out of insecurity with me getting something from Beyoncé’s lyrics about getting time to prove she can trust someone again so she can really love on them and I think that’s kind of the energy of this connection. The two of you rising out of karmic cycles and habits and finally growing up and coming out of the storm to be the people you two need for each other and being able to share the most divine love and forgive the past and have peace.

Yea, the king of cups is coming out, this is my favorite masculine in tarot. This is a masculine whose caring and compassionate and loving. Emotionally in tune, in connection with his own inner feminine. He’s the embodiment of a healed water sign masc lover in my opinion. Some of you could want a water sign partner or have water in your own chart and need someone who can appeal to your needs in that way. And this is going to be the relationship, open, caring, gentle, and supportive and this person will be that as well. I see this marriage or this union being a personal celebration for you pile one, maybe even for your significant other as well. You guys have worked so hard and this is your reward or your personal idea of success and fulfillment to be with this person and share a life with eachother.

All the stagnancy, all the pain, will be gone from your lives and from this connection. You guys struggled individually and as a collective and I hear spirit saying that now you deserve someone to be happy and abundant with. This person is gonna be really good in bed as well, their going to keep you over the top satisfied. I see you guys having very passionate and loving s*x lives and maybe even potentially creating a large family together. Like if you’ve ever seen queen Charlotte where she’s telling her kids that her and George created all the many children they had all by themselves without any help. You guys give queen Charlotte and king George vibes. Love is so deep and real and unconditional despite obstacles or obvious flaws within one another. You love eachother through it all. Regardless of it all and that’s all that matters. Go watch queen Charlotte on Netflix if you haven’t man. Ugh. It’s so good.

Yess, this ten of Pentacles upright here speaking of wealth, long term success, and family !!! I see you guys becoming very wealthy together as well, being able to give your children and yourselves good, long, prosperous lives. So beautiful. You and this person may end up having a lot of children together as well. I see you guys getting to work. Someone carries the energy of the empress, or the divine mother here. You could have a cancer moon or some prominent cancer placements in your chart. This person is gonna load you up, keep you pregnant like clock work. Everyone is gonna be tired of y’all like damn do you really need another baby shower this year too.

Overall success and abundance with this ace of pentacles proud and upright. Very good.

***

ii.

channeled music 🎵:

Drunk In Love- Beyoncé

Adorn- Miguel

Tennessee Whiskey - Chris Stapleton

Ooo Baby Baby- Smokey Robinson & the miracles

channeled locations 📍: Texas, Little Rock Arkansas, California, Alabama, Connecticut, North Dakota, New Hampshire, Georgia, Philadelphia, Country sides and suburbs,, Canada

-

You may meet this person at a rough time in your life or at a time where you may have isolated yourself from others or stepped into some sort of hermit mode. This could be after some sort of heart break or some type of significant life experience that causes a lot of insecurity and self limiting beliefs to come to the surface to be purged or be removed. A dark night of the soul or some sort of right of passage towards your ascension with this eight of swords upright speaking of negative thoughts and imposed restriction here. I’m getting this pain or this isolation and hurt may be caused by your spouse or your significant other. But there’s a lot of change and transformation here with the death card upright. Cycles ending. There’s a lot of mixed energy here for this part of the collective. I’m getting some of you may be coming out of rough relationships and being burned repeatedly in love and mistreated and pushed into a path of learning and healing and some of you may end up marrying someone or are married to someone who doesn’t have good intentions towards you and that you may separate from and grow into yourselves because of.

You may have an astrology placements that indicate complications and love and long term relationships. You could potentially get married early and get divorced due to turbulence or general just lack of happiness and harmony within your marriage. But whatever this downfall is or whatever this drama or turbulence is will lead you down the path of releasing limiting self beliefs and embarking on your own personal spiritual journey and path to self love which will bring in a greater love and a true love for you later in life when the time is right here. This person that you’ll find yourself married or committed to in the beginning, some type of truth will come out about them that will lead to this not working out.

But, this new love that blossom and come from your ending in your first connection or marriage will further propel you into soul searching and really finding out who you are and becoming secure in yourself here. This is going to be someone whose going to benefit you, whose going to compliment you and push you to be a better person and continue to heal and improve. You could have similar chart placements as Ariana grande or relate to her love life in some way. She’s known for having somewhat of a turbulent love life or to have issues within her personal relationships.

***

iii.

channeled music 🎵:

Valerie - Amy winehouse

Beggin’ - Maneskin

Hey ya - outkast

Milk - Kings of Leon

Creep - Radiohead

Cherry wine - Hozier

Ho Hey - The Lumineers

channeled locations 📍: Brooklyn, Chicago, San Diego, San Francisco, Colorado, Oregon, St. Helens Oregon, Washington, New York City, Long Beach California

-

I’m getting that some of your are masculine energies, masculine energy dominant or are literally men lol. I keep hearing over and over the opening lyrics to Hey ya by OutKast.

The song Hey Ya is a really chaotic and high energy song we all know that but there’s an artist on TikTok who has a beautiful soft cover of the song and i feel like it really captures the energy I’m getting from these lyrics. Link to her TikTok.

You could marry someone you feel really anxious or worried about your connection with. I hear someone worried about losing their person or losing this person in particular. Many of you will marry someone you know already or someone who plays a massive part in your life or who shaped what love means and what love meant for you. Spirit is telling me that this person and this connection was given to you to to you to test your strength and push you to become the person you were meant to be become all along because this person inspires you to grow and go the extra mile in life.

This person gives you hope, you may feel as though your purpose in life is to love this person because they inspire you so heavily. This person may trigger some sort of spiritual awakening for you or lead you down a journey of self discovery and soul searching as well. I see this person teaching you and allowing you to release your fears and open up your heart. Someone’s heart chakra could be blocked or has been closed off for a long time due to trauma and other issues. This marriage with this person will be full of clear communication, in depth conversations, and clear and healthy boundaries and ideas. This person could create a safe space for you or a safe environment. I see you and this person becoming an example of what a harmonious and healthy relationship is meant to look like. You out of anybody knows what it feels like to be in unhealthy relationships or have a turbulent and draining relationship dynamic with someone I’m hearing and this is not that. This relationship will be a breath of fresh air for you.

I see you being someone who is anxious in energy or is prone to pessimistic ideas or thinking due to your anxiety as well. Like the second something positive happens with this person especially if you know this person already your mind finds a way to push you away from them out of fear of becoming too comfortable or too vulnerable and then leaving you or pulling away from you but I don’t see this with this person with the four of wands upright. This person loves you unconditionally, you can’t lose something that’s unconditionally. That’s gentle and that doesn’t judge you or intend to hurt you the way that people may have in the past.

I’m hearing it took someone a while to come forward and take the leap of faith to pursue this relationship because they couldn’t decide if they were worth this persons love and time or if they were strong enough to handle this person rejecting you or walking away from you because you felt that they would and that they would wake up one day and realize that they don’t want you anymore or feel burdened by you. But I see you looking at this connection when you guys are married and the rough part of the push and pull that you feel in regards to this person blows over and you being proud and abundant because this relationship is long term, steady, and giving.

This person is made for you, your relationship and connection is very divinely protected and orchestrated pile three. And all of this will be revealed to you more and more as years progress within this marriage here. You and this person are incredibly connected on an intuitive and spiritual level you share so much love and compassion for one another as well. You think yourself less than this person or someone who doesn’t deserve this persons love and presence and that’s simply not true. I hear spirit saying if anyone deserves this person, if anyone is made for this person, if anyone deserves a love or connection like this it’s you.

**

That’s it, lol I might take a break from love readings for a moment because the collective is very steady and my readings can often be repetitive but many of people within the collective are about to get married or be in the most divine love within their life. A good amount of the collective is still learning what love means and it may take them a while to find that but otherwise everyone is exactly where they’re meant to be. 💕

[millerscoffee]

at my fingertips

⟣ queer friendly fic ⟢

2.3k | frankie morales x santiago garcia x f!reader

rating: 18+ MDNI

warnings: THROUPLE – everybody is dating each other!!, established relationship, threesome obv, smut w/ fluffy bits, piv (unprotected), oral (m - m receiving, m - f receiving, f - m receiving) – everybody's sucking fish's dick ok, cum play, kissing (m/m, m/f), dirty talk – this is all dirty who am i kidding. hints of sub!santi + sub!frankie + dom!reader. probably not the best spanish you've ever read - sorry! no use of y/n.

summary: you, frankie, and santi are celebrating your one year anniversary in costa rica after everyone ignoring their feelings for each other for three years – though frankie and santi for way longer.

A/N: just doing the lord's work, hold your applause. JUST KIDDING. idk man i've been thinking about this a lot lately, and i have a soft spot for two tough ex-military dudes (who look very bbg) making out (etc.) in reader's presence idk IDK IDK. please let me know if you enjoyed this!

An entanglement of three naked bodies bathed in the sunlight of a California King sized bed. It had been a year exactly, today in fact, since you and your boys decided to do this. To really do this, not just skirt around the subject for three years. You met them volunteering, hitting it off immediately. None of you knew it would end up like this. But three years is exactly how long it took for you all to come to your senses about this.

Now here you were, sandwiched between your two favorite humans somewhere in paradise.

Costa Rica, to be more specific. It was humid, skin sticky between the three of you as you begin to shift, a reaction from morning light spilling over your eyes. Santi shifts with you, an inhale thick through his nose as he pulls you closer. You feel protected between the two of them, a lazy grin to yourself when you notice Frankie has taken the position of little spoon – his back splayed against your chest.

Your eyes remain shut while you drape your thigh over Frankie's hips and nuzzle your face against the back of his neck, letting your hand shift over top of Santi's when it snakes around your waist. Frankie's not remotely awake yet, but you can sense Santiago's eyes creeping open from the touch of your fingertips.

There's a part of you that knows he will always be on high alert from the life he's had, the life they've both had, but in this moment he is not awake in defense or protection, or a dream that has left him in a cold sweat. No, this morning is in full surrender. He feels vulnerable against your back as you press against him, his nose brushing into your hair, and you will your eyes open.

Gingerly, Santi thumbs over your abdomen in this lazy formation and it's enough to make you want to stay like this forever and feel a rush of heat pool at the base of your stomach.

You think you stifled the shudder fluttering through your body, but as always, Santi knows you better than you think he does. Without a word, Santi's fingers walk down your pubic bone, just over the mound at the top of your clit. You huff out a breath, noticing that you'd been holding your inhale. His touch bringing you back to earth.

This breath against the back of Frankie's neck makes the man to move a bit in his sleep and you both freeze to notice if he will wake up, not really wanting to disturb him. "Cariño," he whispers, his voice gruff and full of sleep and it's the sexiest sound in the world. You can tell he's barely done anything to make you believe he's awake, but Santi's fingers spread your lips apart and he marvels at how wet you are when he dips his middle finger between your folds.

"Amor, ella está muy mojada." The bass from Garcia's low voice vibrates against your back, and you try to not completely fall apart at the drop of a hat. But you can feel Santiago's cock stiffen, notice Francisco's body become more awake at the sound of his boyfriend's words, and it's almost too much to take. The heat in the room turns your cheeks and lips a feverish colour, and you bite down a whimper when Frankie rolls onto his back to witness Santi playing with your pussy like two animals in heat.

From behind, it's like you can hear Santi's lips form into a hazy grin the second he sees your shared lover – half proud and half eager to get him involved. He pulls his fingers from you slowly, and the lack of friction would make you whine if you hadn't witnessed those same fingers tempting onto Frankie's tongue. Like a kitten, Frankie laps at them, suckling your wetness at the tips of Santi's fingers with his big brown, sleepy eyes staring at the both of you.

It sears right through you.

Frankie wraps his mouth around Santi's fingers to tease you both, and a groan can be heard from behind you at just how good he is at teasing you both and you groan in response, pushing your ass back against Santi's cock. A hitched sigh escaping you when Frankie moves Santi's fingers from his mouth for one of your breasts. He moves down the bed to greet them as the lover behind you eases one, then two of his fingers into you. There's no need in preparing your body, you're so wet, after all... and a bit prepared from the night before.

Panting as you push the back of Frankie's head into your tits, his skilled tongue flicks at your nipples. Santiago has different plans, however, as he replaces his fingers to line his cock up against your hips. Hissing when he takes a handful of your ass to pull it back and expose your pussy for him. "Christ," he mutters under his breath, teasing the head of his thick cock against you. You moan, urging Frankie up to meet your mouth and you kiss him hard. With tongue, your explore his throat and a guttural moan comes from you when Santi pushes into your walls. He's thick and deep into you in no time, his trained cock rubbing against that spot inside of you just over the hilt.

"Ajustada– fuck. Fucking tight," you hear a growl against your ear, and you've done this enough to know just how your body gets to them both. You stifle what would be a scream when he moves his hips, and you desperately search for Frankie's cock with your hand. However he pulls your grip away and shakes his head, causing you to moan and let out a frustrated whine at the same time. New record.

Instead, he presses his forehead to yours for the moment, and insists you look into his dreamy eyes. "That's it, you're being such a good girl taking Santi's cock like that. I know, he's so big. Isn't he, princesa?"

The way Frankie is speaking to you sends your body into overdrive. Santi's cock now snapping into you with no remorse as his calloused fingers rub your clit just the way you do when you show off for them. Garcia's free hand grips into the front of your hip, urging bruises to come to the surface later on in the day, but it feels so delicious in the moment all you can do is cradle your bottom lip into your mouth and keep a furrowed brow.

You can't see Santiago behind you yet, but you know how hot he looks when he's fucking: concentrated, his hips moving almost magically, and the occasional groan leaves his throat right against your ear. It sends a shiver down your spine.

What's worse is Frankie knows just how fat and thick Santi's cock feels inside of you because it's been in him too, and it makes your skin hot to know his words are from experience. So many times you've seen them together in one way or another, and there is nothing you three haven't shared with each other. You're irrevocably in love, and it brings your heart to new heights every time you're together.

This morning those thoughts flood you when you can't quite look into Frankie's eyes anymore. They're rolling into your skull, cock-drunk and all you can hear the squelching of your drenched pussy from Santi moving in and out of you.

You can feel him start to brink, too.

Morales won't let you slip just yet, though, and firmly grips your jaw, your body tensing. "Look at me, keep your eyes on me," Frankie is usually smooth when he speaks, but this demand is a bit harsh. Pope hisses at your tightening pussy in response to the man in front of you and you come hard without much more warning. Your eyes loll as your mouth slacks open, and Frankie knows better than to shove his tongue in your mouth – not yet, not til you've come down. "Thaaat's it. Just like that, babygirl. Our good girl." His whispers turn into petting of your face before his gaze is just above your head, watching Santi come apart, his hot load spilling itself into you when his toes curl.

Being a pilot, it makes sense that Frankie has a knack for taking care of people, but it's another level when he's like this. Your ears are ringing and stars fill your eyes, but you can still feel their presence as they praise each other. When Santiago leans over you to mouth and lick into Frankie's mouth. You groan at how it feels, how much it makes me want to stay like this forever. You lean up into their mouths lazily, licking into their kiss and they gladly invite you in. Tongues crash, and you feel Santiago squeeze you, holding you tight because you're their girl and nothing would ever change that.

The comedown feels like heaven with a view of the jungle just outside your window, and you nestle your neck into Frankie's jaw, his fat cock catching your eye from the position your head is in. "Can we share you, please?" You look up at him with an amorous glance, and Santi grunts at the prospect. Both of you making strained noises when he pulls out, but you know what the moan was really about.

Fish's face is still soft from sleep, but more possessive as his pupils are blown. Without saying a word, he takes your arms to help you onto your knees and positions your body to straddle his head. Your breath staggers, not really knowing if you can take another orgasm, but you can't help but sink down onto his mouth. His goddamn mouth.

Santi has other plans, sinking his body between Frankie's legs and he looks so fucking gorgeous like this. It was a long build up of years to see him this vulnerable, and you savour it every chance you get.

His mouth teases Frankie's cock and to watch it twitch uncontrollably sends your senses ablaze. He's a natural in wrapping his mouth around the leaking head. Frankie's cock must've been aching from just waking up from how flushed it was. It's too much to take in, blood surging towards your cunt in desire once more.

This isn't anything new, nothing to make you raise your eyebrow or question why things were happening the way they were, and when you sink your hips down over Frankie's mouth, you let out a sigh of admiration for the two of them. Your boys with their mouths preoccupied, love coursing through the veins of everyone in the room. Your body is still warm from sleep, growing stickier from the muggy weather and the heat rising between the three of you.

It's then Frankie's skilled tongue flicks over your cunt that you tremble. Bracing your hands on the soft form of his belly, his hands encourage you to sit down more and bring your weight on top of him. All the while, it's Pope who's in front of you now. Whose eyes are heated as they stare into yours, working the other man's cock in his mouth with precision. The sound of Frankie's muffled moans vibrate your core and send your hips to grind down against his tongue. A gasp rattling your ribcage, you feel him suck and lick Santi's cum from your cunt. "You're so fucking dirty, Frankie. You know what he's doing, baby?" You speak with seduction, ogling down at Santi.

"He's lapping your cum right from my hole. Such a filthy thing."

Both of your men moan at that, loving when you speak to them degradingly. You've never been too shy to put them in their place.

"Good boy, honey. Keep that tongue on me like that," taking your tits into your palms, you tug and roll your nipples. To feel the sensation, but you notice Santi's blowjob getting messier from his mouth watering at the sight of both of you.

Frankie's hands make contact on the breadth of your ass and it's cause for your voice to quickly turn from sultry to a slew of desperate whimpers. His tongue now merciless on your clit until, "Frankie!" Yours thighs are shaking on either side of him, unable to hold your balance, your body gives into bending over his chest. Now face to face with Santi and Frankie's cock.

Riding out the waves of please, Santi pops off his mouth on Frankie's cock, feeding it to you without giving you choice – he already knows you want this. Want to send Morales over his edge as you taste the perfect mixture of Frankie's increasing precum and Santi's saliva. His own mouth preoccupied with the balls of your shared lover. That's just when Frankie can't take anymore. "Ah, mierda!" You hear Morales behind you, his face pressed behind your thigh. His cum hits your mouth, almost taking him all down, but not quite – saving just enough to kiss Santi with. To share Frankie's cum with him, your tongues mingle.

---

When you all are spent – giggling at each other, making fun of each other lightly from just how taxed you all really are, it tugs your heart. To be held close in the comfort of Frankie's strong arms, Santi lazily stroking the other man's hair while you swirl your fingertips over the hairs on his thigh.

The three of you finally got it right.

After a group shower, the three of you spend the day exploring the jungle and beach, eating fresh fruit. You're all walking down a beach when lean down to pick up two seashells. A grin spreads over your face, knowing they'd have to put it back, but keeping it for the walk wouldn't hurt.

You turn around, handing them each a symbol of your appreciation for them in their own unique ways. Your companions.

"Happy anniversary, goofs."