#just hope they tell us what the heck is this soon because i cannot wait until the summit for answers LMAO

[blueberrybluestar]

what is happening. no seriously what the hell IS this. i need answers. is it lad 8? is it another spin off? why is my boy ichi butt naked in hawaii/america? hello???????? i am interested but at the same time i'm SO confused

[sustainably-du-mortain]

The art of losing

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles Characters: f!detective (Sadie Langford) & Unit Bravo Word count: ~2.5k A/N: Here's my secret santa for @nsewell. I had so much fun getting to know Sadie for this @wayhavensecretsanta! She's a sweetheart and I hope I did her justice. I hope you'll enjoy this!!

A yell echoes down the corridors as soon as Morgan steps inside the warehouse, making her instinct take over as she runs to the source of the ruckus. 

The screams lead her to the living room, and although she’s not quite sure what to expect, she understood, as the screams turned into a weird mix of laughter and complaints, that she didn’t have to worry. So, when she reaches the door, it’s not worry guiding her anymore but curiosity. What she definitely didn’t expect to find though, is the rest of the team, sitting on the carpet, Ava, towering over the other three as she kneels over the coffee table; pointing an accusing finger at Farah.

“I know you’re cheating!” She growls, almost making Morgan shiver. This is a tone the commanding agent rarely uses on them - despite them constantly getting on her nerves - and Ava must have sensed the very faint hint of fear in her teammates as her tone is way softer, almost pleading, when she adds: “You keep taking the pot!”

“How the heck do you want me to cheat!? I didn’t even know the rules of that game half an hour ago! You’re just mad because you’re losing-” The young vampire retorts, before she adds with a little glint of mischief in her eyes “-loser!”

Morgan has to hold back a laugh when Ava’s ears flush red with anger and Nat quickly scouts closer to her to land a soothing hand on her friend’s shoulder. She remembers a similar night, decades ago, when they had to ban game nights after Ava forced them to play the same game for hours because she kept losing or could tell that they were letting her win on purpose. Had she known they were playing a game, Morgan would have actually avoided the living room at all cost.

She catches Sadie’s gaze and cannot hold it anymore. The detective is seated between Ava and Farah and the look of pure panic in her eyes gives away that she’s regretting not going to the local Christmas market like they had planned. That she would have rather braved the heavy-falling snow than whatever is going on right now. 

‘Get me out of here’ she mouths, but Morgan doesn’t make any move to help her. In fact, she steps even further into the room, thinking this debacle might at least entertain her for a little while. It’s not like she’s got anything else to do anyways.

The detective, realizing that she won’t be able to get out so easily, mouths again ‘I hate you’, to which Morgan answers by blowing a kiss in her direction. 

Admitting her defeat, Sadie holds up her cat in Ava’s direction. “Could you hold while I play my turn, please?” She asks, barely hiding her attempt at defusing the situation.

And for a second, Morgan thinks this might work as Ava eyes the hairless cat, barely annoyed at being handled in such a way. She watches as the commanding agent sits back down, crossing her leg, almost preparing to take the cat. That is until she goes “You’ve been holding him just fine the whole time.”

Sadie makes a face at her. “Yeah, well unlike you, my legs are getting numb.” She states, not waiting for the vampire’s answer before putting the sheriff in her lap. The cat is already falling back asleep.

There's a moment of latency as everyone waits for Ava's reaction and, as she doesn't show any sign of exasperation, Sadie reaches for something on the table and the silence falls heavier when she makes it spin.

Morgan steps a little closer and sits on the sofa behind Sadie. On the table, she makes out the blurred lines of a wooden spinning top. Underneath it, the detective is crossing her fingers as tightly as she can bear.

In front of Sadie, two glass pebbles are sitting on the table. Morgan looks around the table and noticing that the others have similar piles before them - some much bigger, like Farah’s, and others only containing one more than Sadie’s stash, like Ava’s - she understands, despite having no idea what game they’re playing, that her friend is losing. 

The four faces of the spinning top become more and more visible as it slows down and starts wobbling. Although she can now make out the symbols on the four faces of the toy, she still doesn’t know what they’re supposed to represent. She hears Sadie take a deep breath before she actually stops breathing. She can’t help but think the human is being a little-over dramatic, but then…

***

The dreidel finally tips over and…

“Nun!” she yells, much louder than she intended. 

She hears Morgan hissing sharply behind her and realizes she’s probably broken her eardrums. So she turns around and mouths a silent apology, to which the vampire answers with only a grunt, before she goes back to the game.

Sadie stares at the dreidel laying on its side and lets out a relieved sigh. She’s not losing that round either, she thinks before handing her dreidel to Ava. The vampire sitting by her side, mumbles something as she does, but Sadie doesn’t get it. 

The two are competing for the second to last place and, so far, Ava is winning. Sadie crosses her fingers once again and prays. She prays that Ava lands on ‘Shin’, which would force her to add another token into the pot, meaning they’d be even. But as she realizes what she’s praying for, Sadie is torn between shame and an irrepressible need to laugh. She’s usually not that competitive, but seeing how invested she is in that game, she guesses being around Ava is starting to rub on her.

Ava spins the dreidel and it flies across the room, making everyone duck.

“Ava!” They all scream in unison.

“What?” She asks, acting like nothing happened. She acts like it’s completely normal to turn a dreidel into a projectile, despite the fact that they all know how much control she has over her own strength. 

Her ears turn pink as they all stare at her and she sheepishly avoids their gaze. A move Sadie has grown accustomed to these past months: she is trying to hide the shame of letting her emotions get the best of her. 

A loud gasp echoes around the room and they all turn to Nat who went to fetch the toy. “Ava! It made a dent in the wall!” she cries in horror, staring at the toy encrusted in the wall. 

Sadie’s mouth falls wide open and she struggles to hold back a laugh, but as she sees Farah and Morgan trying as hard as she is not to laugh and that the rest of Ava’s face is turning a bright shade of red, she cannot help but crack up in laughter. 

Ava and Nat instantly start arguing like an old married couple about repairing that hole.

But as the argument grows in length, Sadie’s attention is caught by a flash of light in the middle of the room. She could have sworn the Christmas tree wasn’t turned on when she  got here earlier this afternoon.

Farah, noticing her confusion, leans in her direction. “I set a timer,” she whispers, “although magic would have been cool!” She adds like she had just guessed what the human was thinking.

“You can do that with Christmas lights?” Sadie asks, genuinely surprised by that fact.

���Nat bought really fancy ones” Farah explains and Sadie can’t help but chuckle at this. 

Knowing Nat she should have known everything they had gotten to decorate the place was really expensive and she dares not imagine how much she actually paid. But judging by the tree sitting in the middle of the room, she probably spent more than Sadie’s salary this month.

This tree is so gigantic it’s almost comical. Upon seeing it, her first thought had been about Ava having a heart-attack when she first saw it and having another one when Nat asked her to bring it inside. Because although Nat could probably make Ava do anything as long as she used her best pleading eyes, Sadie is still wondering what Nat could have possibly bribed Ava with so that she accepted to do it. Not that she doubts Ava could do it, in fact, Sadie knows Ava can haul a tree without any difficulty. It’s just that her brain still cannot comprehend how she managed to fit that ginormous tree - that almost touches the high ceiling and takes up half of the room - through the tiny doors of the warehouse.

Yet it’s not the size that made Sadie burst into laughter when she first saw it, but rather the wide array of colors ornating it and she instantly guesses Farah had been the one doing the decoration.

She remembers the young vampire, less than a couple weeks ago, begging Ava to get a Christmas tree so that, as she put it, she could get the best of the human experience. But the commanding agent had refused, so Sadie supposes Farah must have changed strategy after that refusal and pulled on Nat’s heartstrings so that she would indulge her, like she always does, especially when Farah pulls the ‘I never got to be human’ card.

And today, Sadie was met with this… She’s not quite sure how to describe it. Calling it an atrocity would be quite harsh, but this is definitely a little bit of an eyesore. It’s like Farah had randomly grabbed garlands and ornaments and let her excitement take over when she put them on the tree. It kind of reminds her of that time her kindergarten teacher would let them decorate the Christmas tree in her room every year.

Sadie still has to hold back a laugh when she thinks of Nat’s reaction when she first saw it. She actually snorted when they decided to settle in the living room and saw Nat scrunching her nose at the sight of it, desperately trying to hide the fact that she disliked the arrangement. Before that, she had even caught her trying to arrange some of the garlands a little more neatly and actively replacing some. Nat had begged her not to tell Farah.

There’s a loud grunt by her side and Sadie realizes Ava and Nat have stopped arguing. And it seems like Ava has already played her turn. The dreidel they both share is laying on the table and she can’t believe her eyes. Ava has to put another token into the pot.

“This isn’t fair,” the vampire grunts.

“You’ve just got bad luck,” Nat tries to soothe her.

“My spinning wasn’t optimal. The cat sleeping in my lap is reducing my range of movement.”

“Are you really blaming the sheriff because you’re losing?” Sadie asks, offended.

“All I’m saying is that I couldn’t spin the dreidel properly.”

“Yet you’re still petting the cat,” Farah points out.

Ava’s mouth opens as she looks for something to say, but nothing comes out and instead she readjusts her position to accommodate the sheriff as he shifts in her lap. Sadie shakes her head, forces herself to look away not to let her feelings transpire. Yet she can’t hide the soft smile tugging at her lips after noticing the fondness with which Ava looks at her cat. Neither can she hide her heart beating a little too erratically.

She clears her throat. “It’s your turn, Nat,” she announces, barely hiding her attempt at changing the subject.

Yet as the small wooden top starts its rotation, her attention is brought back to the vampire sitting beside her.

Ava is readjusting the hairless cat’s sweater. She tugs on it, making sure it covers most of the sheriff’s body, despite the fact that it's not cold inside the warehouse. She rolls the little collar properly so that it doesn’t bother him, and when she’s done she scratches him behind the ears, a spot he particularly likes.

She likes catching these moments where the commanding agent briefly lets her guard down. These moments where her caring nature shows. Not only with her cat, but also with the members of the team. When she helps Nat to cook, despite the fact that she herself doesn’t eat. When she listens to Farah’s new interest that week and actively asks questions so that Farah knows she’s listening even though she doesn’t really understand what she’s saying. How she closes the blinds without a word when the sun shines a little too brightly through the windows, bothering Morgan. How she often comes to check on her when she’s sleeping over at the warehouse, making sure Sadie has everything she needs.

Despite how much she hates admitting it, she cares deeply for every single one of them.

Ava looks at her, a puzzled look on her face, and Sadie quickly reverts her eyes. She tries to find something else to look at other than the vampire sitting beside her, and her eyes land on the menorah sitting on the mantel.

This is the first menorah she has lit in years and, to be honest, she didn’t expect to find one here today - just like she wasn’t expecting the Christmas tree. But what really moved her was its beauty.

Sadie is usually not a material person, but this menorah is amazingly well-crafted. 

It looks a little bit like a tree made out of brass. The trunk divides into two branches, on each of them sits four flowers to hold the eight candles. The ninth flower sits in the middle, slightly higher than the others, and holds the shamash. 

Vines spread out  on each side of the trunk and rise to coil around the two branches holding the candles. On those vines are carved small, intricate flowers.

Upon seeing it, she teared up a little at the thought that Nat must have spent so much time carefully picking such a gorgeous menorah for her.

And so, after the sunset, before they started playing, she kindled the first candle, answering Farah’s questions about its meaning.

Someone taps on her shoulder, bringing her attention back to the game. They’re all looking at her expectantly and she understands that they’re waiting for her to add another token to the pot so that they can start another round of spinning, meaning she’s left with only one glass pebble.

Ava hands her the dreidel. She spins it and once again she’s crossing her fingers.

Sadie looks around herself as the spinning top starts wobbling. Ava is discreetly trying to pet her cat who purrs in the vampire laps, making the others chuckle. Farah whispers something to Morgan and they share a mischievous look and the detective wonders what they’re up to, although she’ll come to know sooner or later. Nat is sipping on her tea, keeping a fond eye on each of them and she smiles when their gaze meets.

The dreidel lands on ‘Shin’, but Sadie doesn’t care. She does feel a tinge of disappointment, especially since she has just taught them to play. But after all, this game is all about luck and she realizes she’s been lucky enough to find a new family this year, so maybe that’s all the luck she needed. 

[imaginespazzi]

Happy Gameday everyone! I am so fucking nervous for our girls y’all. Also, someone come tell me why ESPN analytics has us with a 60.5% chance of winning?! Excuse me? Nah I do believe in our girls 1000% but idk if realistically it’s that much in our favor… maybe closer to 50/50 😅

Anyway, whatever happens today, i’m so proud of our girls - like i was just thinking back to the beginning of the season and how tough going it was, like watching their games during that non-conference stretch was not very fun. And then the ND and SC games, which were also not fun. And yet, they’re back in the final 4. Like whether we win or lose today, nothing can take away from what this group managed to achieve despite all the adversities and curveballs.

I hope P Boogers and MVLi have career games, I hope Nika doesn’t foul out, and I hope the freshies continue to shine. And most of all, I hope they just enjoy and have fun and be proud of themselves too. And to our injured girlies, I hope they know that they will be out on the court soon enough and we cannot wait.

It’s been a heck of a season (positive and negative) but man has it been fun following along with everyone here, and i sincerely hope we get to do it for one more game after tonight.

Last but not least, I hope we get at least one more Pazzi moment to lose our minds over this weekend.

Okay y’all, enjoy tonight, try keep that heart rate and blood pressure in check, and let’s go Huskies! 💗💙💗💙

Happy game day lovelies <3

ESPN analytics loves them some UConn which is hilarious because almost all their writers have SC vs Iowa in the final and I think the spread has UConn losing by around ~2.5 points too but hey, I'll take the faith!

It has been a rollercoaster ride with this team and I could not be more proud of what we've achieved and my belief is at an all time high. But there's nothing they could do tonight that would in any way make me disappointed. I'm just happy to be here but let's get this girlies, I know we can. 🙏🏾

In March P and MVLi I continue to believe. And if everybody else just does what they're good at, why not us? Beat the odds and beat the hawks!!

[teaberrii]

Chapter 7: Be Mine (My Worst Enemy is a Cat)

Human by day. Cat by night. That’s how Scaramouche lived until you came back into his life.

Scaramouche/You

Notes: Cross-posted on Ao3. If you want me to add you to the tag list, visit the tag list post for the blog. If your user is not on the tag list, you won't be notified.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Scaramouche cannot sleep for the life of him. Not when your chest is pressed against his back and your hand on his tummy. It's like you're spooning him, and all he hears is his heart thumping loudly in his chest. It's the middle of the night, and he knows he needs to leave soon or else you'll get one heck of a wake-up call in the morning. And the last thing he wants is to give you a heart attack. At least, not now.

So, Scaramouche slowly inches away from you, being extra careful not to wake you. Then, he stands and turns to face you. His tail swings up as he steps toward you. Fate has given him another chance, and he will seize the opportunity.

Now that he has the answer he needs, Scaramouche hopes you're ready. He gently nuzzles his head against your cheek, and you slightly stir in your sleep. Because there's no way he will let you get away again.

You groan loudly when you hear your alarm go off the following day. Your hand moves around the bed, looking for Prince. But, when all you feel are your sheets, you immediately sit up. Where did he go? You quickly turn off your alarm and head to the living room. After spending some time looking for him, you ultimately give up and get ready for work.

When you get to your office, your jaw almost drops. Why is there a large bouquet of flowers on your desk? You quickly close the door behind you. When you’re almost to your desk, you see a white envelope placed next to it. Once you open it, your eyes widen at seeing Prince written in cursive. You flip the card over. That’s the only thing written on it.

Then, you hear a knock at your door. You turn around and see Scaramouche with a hand in his pocket. Is it just you, or does he look extra good today? His fitted dark purple dress shirt is tucked snugly into his black pants, which shows off his long legs. "Morning." You get a whiff of his cologne as he walks in and stops in front of you. "Do you like the flowers?"

“Wait”—you look back at the bouquet—“these are from you?” Scaramouche smiles. Then, you look back at him. “What’s the occasion?”

“Do I need an excuse to send you flowers?”

You had to let that sink in. What… is going on? “Uh, well, it’s just kind of random, don’t you think?”

"If you don't like them, I'll stop." You don't have an answer. But is it just you, or does Scaramouche seem different today? "I sent them because I thought it'd make you smile." Whoa. You're stunned into silence, and your face heats up. "Anyway, I came to tell you that the project…." His words are lost on you as you try to calm your heart. This is too much for you, especially in the morning. Then, he says your name, which snaps you out of your thoughts. "...Are you listening?"

You quickly gather your emotions. "Yeah, of course. I'll follow up with them on their schedule." Scaramouche watches with slight amusement as you move away from him to the other side of your desk. You slip out of your jacket and hang it on the rack, saying something more about the project that Scaramouche has no interest in hearing. All he wants to know is one thing.

As you sit down and push your chair closer to your desk, Scaramouche asks, “Would you mind joining me for lunch today?” You immediately look at him. Why? That’s your first thought. And, as if he read your mind, he smiles. “I just want to clarify some things.” What things? “Things that I probably should’ve said last time.” Now, you’re even more curious. “So, would the princess be so kind as to join me for lunch?”

You cringe. But you aren’t sure if it’s the good or bad kind. “Can we not use those nicknames at work?”

“Oh, so that means I can call you that privately?” You freeze. Scaramouche smirks. “I guess I’ll see you at lunch then.”

You watch him leave your office. As soon as he's out of sight, you lean back in your chair and stare at the bouquet. What's gotten into him?

When lunch rolls around, you're sitting at your desk typing away. It isn't until Scaramouche knocks at your door that you notice it's lunchtime. He slowly walks in as you get up from your seat. He fights back a smile when he sees that you've put the bouquet in a vase. "What are you in the mood for?"

You slip on your coat. “Anything, really.”

"Then, I know just the place." On the way there, you occasionally glance at him. You think he doesn't notice until Scaramouche says, "I thought you said it's rude to stare." Embarrassed, you look away, and he grins. "But you're an exception."

“...What does that mean exactly?”

As Scaramouche slowly stops the car at a red stoplight, he turns to you. “It means you’re special to me.”

Your hands on your lap are subtly fidgeting with each other. You can't bring yourself to look at him anymore. Then, you laugh nervously. "I mean… we are friends now, so…."

Scaramouche turns back just as the light turns green. Once the car drives off, he suddenly grabs your hand, and you immediately turn to him. “Why are you so nervous?” You look at his hand around yours. “Relax.”

You quickly remove your hand from his. “I am relaxed.”

Scaramouche smirks. “Are you?”

As long as he doesn't grab your hand again. Then, yes, you are... somewhat. Scaramouche pulls into a restaurant you recognize as one of the best and most expensive in the city. You turn to him. "Do you know how expensive this place is?"

Scaramouche shifts the gears and begins to back the car into a parking spot. His arm is around your seat, and he glances at you. "Why do you think I chose it?"

“...I don’t want to pay for something this expensive.”

"Who said you're the one paying?" Wait. What? Once Scaramouche parks the car, he shifts the gears and turns off the engine. He looks at you. "It's on me."

First the flowers and now this. What are you supposed to make of it? “No, I don’t want you to pay for me.”

Scaramouche saw this coming. Of course, you’d want to pay for yourself. “Unless it’s a date?” You freeze for the second time. “An actual date.”

Hold up. You didn't agree to this. You only decided to have lunch with him. "It's… I only agreed to have lunch with you. I didn't know—"

To your surprise, Scaramouche takes your hand. You glance at your entwined hands again, a blush blossoming on your cheeks. "Since we're already here, I'd like to take you on a lunch date." It's the eyes. It's definitely the way he's looking at you that you can't say no.

A sudden cold wind blows as you and Scaramouche walk towards the restaurant. Before you even react, he takes your hand and puts it in his coat pocket. You aren't sure what to say, and you're hoping he will break the silence. But, nothing comes. So, you just continue walking towards the restaurant as if nothing happened.

Once you reach the entrance, Scaramouche opens the door for you, and you awkwardly walk inside. This gentleman persona of his is catching you off guard.

Once you’re seated at a table, Scaramouche opens the menu and asks, “Do you want to share something?”

“...Again?”

Scaramouche grins. “You’ll let me feed you this time, right?”

You make a face. “Don’t be so childish. Do you know how that looks to other people?”

Scaramouche has an elbow on the table, so he leans his head against his palm. "I only care about what you think." You look down and flip the page. You can still feel his stare. "Or, we can do that privately if you want."

You immediately close the menu. "I know what I'm ordering." Then, Scaramouche smirks. After you order, you look at him. "...So, what did you want to clarify?"

Scaramouche meets your gaze. “Be honest with me. Did you think you were a backup when we went out?”

“...Why are you asking this now?”

"Because you weren't." His serious tone takes you by surprise. Now, it's his turn to get nervous. First, Scaramouche leans back and looks out the window. Then, he says quietly, "...If anything, she was a backup."

Wait. What did he just say?

“Here are your drinks!”

As the waitress puts them down, you glance at Scaramouche, who still isn't looking at you. Is he nervous? Once the waitress leaves, you silently take a sip of your drink as another memory resurfaces.

"With your personality, you'll end up dying alone."

You glared at him. “Excuse me? My personality is a hundred times better than yours. If anything, you’ll end up dying alone.”

“Oh, please.” Scaramouche scoffed. “I’m handsome”—you gagged—“charming”—you gagged again—“and incredibly charismatic.”

“Ew. Yeah, okay. Only people who are the complete opposite of that say those things.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Of what? Your mushroom hair?” You rolled your eyes. “I think you need to look in the mirror.”

“I wouldn’t kill for your uneven bangs either. Just so you know.”

You've just about had it with him. Before you could fire back, one of your mutual friends said, "Why not just marry each other? Then, you can be known as the bad haircut couple."

You and Scaramouche looked absolutely appalled. “Ew, no!”

Your friend smiled. “The bad haircut couple who are also scarily in sync.”

Another friend looked at you. “Ooh, why don’t you guys do one of those things where if you don’t find someone before thirty, you marry each other or something?”

“I’d rather marry a cat,” you muttered.

“What makes you think the cat would want to marry you?”

You glared at Scaramouche, and he returned it with a deadpan look.

After the waitress places the food on your table and leaves, you ask, “...Why did the two of you break up?”

Scaramouche looks at you. "Our priorities changed. She transferred to another university in our third year, and we were long-distance. We got busy, and we felt it wouldn't work."

You aren't sure if you should ask, but you got this far, so you might as well. "But she's back now, isn't she? I mean…"

"If you're going to ask if we tried making it work again, we didn't." Scaramouche leans back. "...Because I never loved her." Your heart beats faster as you continue to stare at each other. Is it just you, or is he trying to tell you something?

Scaramouche was working on his essay when his phone buzzed with a message. He glanced and it and saw that it was his ex. It's been almost a year since they broke up, but they still had some mutual friends, making it almost impossible not to hear about each other.

Need some advice. Help?

Then, his phone started ringing. As soon as Scaramouche picked up, he heard her sigh loudly. “I need guy advice.”

“And you’re coming to me because…?”

"...You're a guy, right?"

Scaramouche rolled his eyes. “I’m busy.”

"Wait, wait! Okay, here's what I'm dealing with…."

Scaramouche listened to her talk and remembered what his friends had asked him.

“Dude, she still hits you up? What if she’s trying to make you jealous?”

Scaramouche shrugged. "Well, it's not working, so…."

“Wow. You really are a different breed when it comes to relationships. I would never talk with my ex again.”

Scaramouche had thought about it… to just cut her off completely. But, it wasn’t like they had bad blood. The breakup was mutual. And if she was willing to respect their past and boundaries, he wouldn’t mind having her as a friend.

His ex’s voice brought him back to the present. “...Scaramouche? Are you listening?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”

“...It sounds like something’s on your mind.”

"Uh, I'm working on an essay right now."

“Are you sure you’re not thinking of someone?” He could hear her smile.

"...What are you getting at?" But, then, she said your name, which caught Scaramouche entirely off guard. "How do you know about her?"

"An old friend of yours is my classmate here. Small world, huh? Anyway, he told me about you and that girl… Gotta say I'm a bit jealous."

“If you really were jealous, you wouldn’t say anything,” he said flatly. Then, he sighed loudly. “...There wasn't anything between us.”

“Yikes. Are you still in denial?”

Scaramouche frowned. "Are you here to talk about you or me?"

“Why not both?”

Scaramouche ended the call. He tossed his phone on the bed, leaned back in his chair, and stared at the ceiling. He hadn't talked to you in years. Yet, why did it seem like he could never escape? Before, he couldn't get you off his mind. But, now that he was finally moving forward, someone just had to bring you up. Scaramouche got up and grabbed some clothes for a shower, wondering if the day he would forget about his first love would ever come.

Then, Scaramouche slightly leans forward. “Were you in love with your ex?”

“...I thought I was.”

Despite being at a top-tier university, you never thought you'd feel so alone. Your roommates weren't the best, but you still got along somewhat. Also, the people you've met so far were incredibly judgemental, which made you steer clear of them.

It wasn't until the day that you got wrapped up in a plagiarism issue did you meet your ex. One of your roommates had taken your paper and handed it in as one of her own without you knowing. So, when you handed yours in, both of you got called in. And, of course, since she handed hers in first, you had no proof that the paper was actually written by you.

“...He was the only one who believed me," you say quietly. "Which was strange, I guess. We weren't friends. Just classmates. But he said he believed me when we got paired up for a project." You sigh. "I think I was just desperate for anyone to, actually."

It was late. You're walking back to the dorm when you come across your roommate.

“What the hell do you want?” you asked.

She scoffed. “Not very friendly, aren’t you? Maybe that’s why you have no friends here.”

Whatever. It wasn't like you were here to make friends anyway. Then, you sensed someone behind you and saw four people approaching you. Something was very wrong. You instantly felt it. You made a run for it. But, unfortunately, you didn't get very far when one of the boys grabbed you from the back and threw you to the ground.

“You think you’re smarter than everyone here?”

“What? What the fu—”

“Should we teach you how to behave?”

A hand covered your mouth before you could scream. Then, just as his hand reached for your shirt, someone yelled, "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Scaramouche's face turns pale; his fists are tightly clenched, and he has difficulty keeping still.

"...I reported them. The school eventually took care of it, but"—you sigh—"it was a gruelling process. My mental health really suffered. My grades started dropping, and I was close to probation."

Scaramouche puts his hand on top of yours, and you look at him. “...You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

You smile slightly. "...He helped me through that difficult time… and we ended up dating once I got through it. And, well, you know the rest. I turned down his proposal, and yada yada." When Scaramouche says nothing, you quickly say, "Sorry, I kind of got off topic. But, uh, I thought I loved him because of what he did. But when he proposed, I… couldn't say yes." Truth be told, you felt horrible at the time. You’d asked him to give you more time, but then the conversation took a strange turn.

“It’s this Scaramouche guy, isn’t it?”

You were stunned to hear his name. “How do you know about him?”

Your ex looked away. “...It doesn’t matter. Just answer the question.”

“What question is there to answer?”

“Why haven’t you told me about him before?”

What was there to tell? “What am I supposed to tell you? Scaramouche and I never dated.” But, he was your first love. Yeah. You purposely left that out. You sighed loudly. “Look, I don’t know how you know about him, but he has nothing to do with us. I’m just asking you to give me—us—a little more time.”

But when you found out about the cheating, you never looked back. You were surprised you weren't that fazed about it. It only took you two days to get over it. The only thing that saddened you was that things would never return to how they once were. He was a great friend who helped you during your time of need. And now… even that was gone.

After lunch, you and Scaramouche return to the office when you say, "I'll pay you back for today."

“What about tonight?”

You look at him. “...Tonight?”

Scaramouche smiles. “Don’t plan on working overtime.”

For the rest of the workday, you can't help but think about what will happen tonight. Dinner? Does he want you to treat him to dinner? But then, your mind turns in a different direction, and you imagine him lying beside you on a bed… shirtless.

You quickly shake your head. Whoa. Okay. Let's not go there. As soon as the clock strikes six, you lean back and stretch. Then, as you look at the doorway, you're surprised to see Scaramouche leaning against the open door. You quickly put down your arms.

“Ready to go?”

You look at your monitor. "...Just let me finish this real quick." Scaramouche walks over, and you're surprised that he puts his hands on your desk and leans over. Now, he's next to your monitor… which is awfully distracting. Finally, you look at him. "...What are you doing?"

“You’re really choosing work over me?”

You almost laugh. “How childish can you get?” But, gosh, your concentration suddenly flies out the window. Your mind goes blank as you try to think of the next sentence. The only thing you can focus on is how Scaramouche’s looking at you.

Scaramouche knows you're having difficulty concentrating, and he likes to think it's because of him. Eventually, he looks at your screen and notices an error. “It’s six.” You look at him as he points to the screen. “The change is six percent.”

“...No, it isn’t. It’s five.”

“Six.”

“Five.”

Scaramouche leans up and crosses his arms. “Wanna bet?”

You pull up an email and show it to him. “See.”

Once Scaramouche looks at the screen, he shows you another email on his phone. He puts it on the table. “Looks like you weren’t looped into the latest email.”

You frown as you see that he is—in fact—correct. “Seriously?”

Scaramouche puts his phone back in his pocket. “I don’t get a thank you?”

After correcting the error, you turn off the monitor. Then, you stand and slip on your coat. "...Thanks."

Scaramouche crosses his arms. “That’s not enough.”

You scoff. “And what does the prince want?”

You’ve just finished putting on your coat when you see his reflection in the window. You turn around just as he steps towards you. He’s standing so close that your heart is racing. Then, he leans down, his face inches from yours.

“I want you.”

Chapter Eight

Tag List: @suoshiii @feverish-dove @126dvtn @one-offmind @sweet-almonds @pooonyo @n8mareee @killuixz @w9vyy @124eve @mxrossweisse @genderfluid-insomniac @goodthingimsam @thenightsflower @yo4loer @lxry-chxn @leon-to-sayaka @melodyyamino

[eatsleepmemerepeat]

My Dad’s Funny Reaction to Finding out Harry sang Medicine Again (With my dad not there to hear it):

To anyone new to my blog, my dad is in his 60s and is a big ass drama queen. This is long but worth the read in my opinion.

This is a true story. I should have recorded the call but I was half asleep and wasn’t even sure if it was real at first or a dream. I’m cracking up just writing this.

So I get a call very early this morning that wakes me up out of a dead sleep. It’s my dad and he’s cursing and his voice is raised. It takes me a second to figure out what the heck he is blabbing on about. Based on the tone of his voice it sounds like someone took a baseball bat to his car Carrie Underwood style or one of my siblings needs to be bailed out of jail or something because he is super worked up. I’m thinking it must be something really bad. Finally, I’m awake enough to comprehend what he is saying and here is what his dramatic ass said:

Dad: I am pissed at the m*therf*cker! I cannot believe him! I cannot believe he did it again! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?

Me: What?! Who? I am asleep, why are you calling this early?

Him: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I AM SO MAD HE SANG IT AGAIN!

Me: Oh, are you talking about Harry?

Dad: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE SANG F*CKING MEDICINE AGAIN! WHY THE F*CK DIDN’T HE SING IT AT THE SAN DIEGO SHOW?!

Me: Are you sure he sang it? I went to bed last night and didn’t see anything online about it. I know he sang it the other night though.

Dad: IT WAS THE FIRST THING I GOOGLED THIS MORNING! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE ME GOOGLING “DID HARRY STYLES SING MEDICINE LAST NIGHT?”

I don’t have this man googling anything! He did that all on his own! He is the one calling at the ass crack of dawn to tell me what Harry sang last night.

Me: You actually googled it?

Dad: YEAH! I HAD TO KNOW! I SAW AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT AND I LOST IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

Me: Huh, I’ll have to look.

Dad: I’M TELLING YOU! I LOOKED IT UP AS SOON AS I WOKE UP! AND NOW IM PISSED! I HAVE BEEN HEARING ABOUT THIS GUY EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR TWO YEARS AND HE DOESN’T SING MEDICINE THE NIGHT I GO TO HIS CONCERT!? He sings it BOTH NIGHTS IN LA though! We could have just gone to the LA show instead! He knows we want to hear it! Why doesn’t he just sing it every show! Come on man! I’m pissed! HE IS ON MY SHIT LIST NOW! I WORE A SHIRT THAT SAID MEDICINE AND A GIANT TACO ON MY HEAD BUT HE DOESN’T SING IT FOR ME?! EVEN AFTER I YELLED IT! I am not happy.

I am not even exaggerating he was yelling on the phone. He is dramatic and raises his voice a lot anyway but it’s usually about work.

Me: *holding back laughter* I’m sorry that you are disappointed, Dad. Trust me I am too, I have been waiting to hear that song in person since I heard on video in 2018. One of my friends recorded it though so we can still hear it and there are videos of it we can watch on YouTube. I am hoping he puts it on the next album.

Dad: *voice still raised* DO YOU HAVE HIS EMAIL ADDRESS?! I WANT TO SEND HIM AN EMAIL. I WANT TO TELL HIM THAT I AM A DAD AND I AM UPSET.

My dad is a Karen apparently

Me: No, I don’t have Harry Styles’ personal email address and you aren’t sending Harry hate mail for not singing Medicine. You are just going to have to get over it like the rest of us.

Dad: *Huffing and puffing dramatically* I just can’t believe him! Who does that?! If he’s not gonna release it, he at least needs to sing it! How much are the tickets to the next LA show? I deserve to hear it.

Me: You seriously want to try to get tickets last minute? The show is sold out but I’m sure we could find some resale ones for about $500 each.

Dad: Never mind, Mr. Harry probably won’t sing it again just because I’m there! He is gonna see me and not sing it out of SPITE!

Me: I don’t think he even knows who you are. But yeah, that would be a bummer if we went again and he didn’t sing it again.

Dad: GOD MAN. D*MN IT WT*! I wonder why he sang it yesterday and the night before but not in San Diego?

Me: He has only sang it in LA and New York this year. Plus at the LA show, the whole crowd was chanting it. We couldn’t get a chant going at our show.

My dad: THAT’S DISCRIMINATION! I FEEL DISCRIMINATED AGAINST! I’M A DAD! YOU SAID HE LIKED DADS!

Me: That’s not discrimination. I’ll send you the video. Now can I please go back to sleep.

Dad: Send me the video. Go back to sleep. BUT NO DREAMS ABOUT HARRY UNLESS THEY ARE OF HIM SINGING MEDICINE WITH ME THERE.

Me: Okay, got it. Talk to you later. Love you.

Dad: Okay. *Him huffing and puffing and complaining under his breath -I waited two years for this man to sing Medicine. I know everything about this guy. I even know about the fricken bears and he does this TO ME, AGAIN. That f*- *I hang up the phone*

My dad has called me 4 times today and texted me 3 times today and 6 times yesterday about this. He just started listening to Harry recently. He always gives me crap about being obsessed with Harry. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I am proud, but also slightly concerned😂

[imasimpforshanks]

Hello author! Can I ask for K and L for Sanji/Ace please. (Fluff) thankyou!

Fluff Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hiya!!!! Here is ace’s fluff alphabet! 💗I know you only asked for K & L but I hate only answering a few letters of these at a time LMAO 💀ALSOOOOO I’m going to Sanjis at some point too, because I got a lot more angst asks than fluff so yahhhh! Anywayssss hope you enjoy<3333

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

Ace absolutely loves to pull pranks on you AND he loves to pull pranks with you. Once a month you actually have an all-out prank war against one another where even the crew fear that they will be caught in the middle of it.

Oh, and true to his character, the two of you spend a lot of time eating food together. It’s very difficult for any normal human being to eat anything close to the amount Ace eats, so more often than not, it’s you staring at him in awe while he scoffs down another plate of food.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

He finds your smile to be one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen, it’s even more beautiful when the smile is directed at him. The moment you smile at him everything else in the world seems to melt away. Ace does everything in his power to bring a smile to your face, because when you smile everything else seems to fall into place. (SO CLICHÉ I KNOW BUT IT’S TRUE!)

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

His go to method of comfort is cuddles. He just wraps his arms around you and gives you lots of forehead kisses. He’ll say all these kind things about you and ask what you need from him. If you’re not sure, or if you don’t feel like talking, he’ll patiently wait until you’re ready to talk.

D-Dreams (how do they picture they future with their s/o?)

In every possible future he envisions, you are there. To Ace, there is no future unless you are with him. It’ll be the two of you living life to the absolute fullest, taking it day-by-day.

He isn’t too keen on having (biological) children as he doesn’t want them to be burdened with the blood of Gol D. Roger.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

He tends to take the more dominant role in the relationship. It’s just his natural personality that seeps through, it’s truly not intentional. He’s confident and loud so there’s not really any way you can’t not listen to him. However, if you were to voice any opinions or comments, you’ve got all his attention!

F-Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?)

I talk about his fights with his s/o a little in his angst alphabet. Here it is again!

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

Ace felt unloved and unwanted by the world growing up (save for Luffy and Sabo, oh and Dadan), so it was quite the change to experience the unconditional love you provided him. He will forever be grateful for what you have done for him, in fact, he’s so grateful about it that he can never shut up about it! Much like how he gushes about his ‘stupid kid brother’ to the Whitebeard Pirates, Ace will also never shut up about you to anyone he talks to. Your name somehow always makes its way into any conversation he has.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

The only secret he kept from you was that he was the son of the Pirate King. He was scared that once you knew, you would view him differently. But over time he was able to see that that would never be the case. So, after telling you that, he never kept anything from you ever again. Ace actually finds sharing secrets with you to be a weight off his shoulders.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

You were another person that was able to show Ace he is worthy of being loved. It’s an insecurity of his that will probably never go away, but that’s okay because you’re more than happy to remind him daily.

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

I talked about Ace’s jealousy in his angst alphabet! But I’ll go over it again here!

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?)

I feel as though I may give Ace a little too much credit when it comes to this because I want to think that he’d be one of those amazing kissers, like he just has a knack for it. But in reality, that probably wouldn’t be the case.

Ace is more likely to be quite an overexcited kisser. He’s keen and passionate, that’s for sure. But with your first kiss, he’s a little too keen and tries to move way to fast. After some calming down and a little bit of a giggle to one other he’s in the zone.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

The two of you are just talking and he’s, unsurprisingly, brought up his brother, Luffy. What is surprising however, is when he tells you how badly he wants you guys to meet each other. Your first reaction was “yeah that stands to reason he wants all of us to meet luffy” but before you could say anything Ace is already going on like “yeah, I just can’t wait to have the two people I love most in the world meet. It’d be real cool” (or something along those lines and probably a little less cheesy LMAO). You just stare at him like “heh?” and he stares at you like “uhhhh… yeah I said what I said?”

M-Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?)

Heck yeah, this dude wants to get married! Getting to show you off to everyone? Yes please! Getting to tell you in front of everyone he knows just how much he loves you? BIG YES. Oh, AND a big ass party afterwards? THIS DUDE CANNOT WAIT! Being able to marry you is one of his dreams, and he’s actually been thinking about since the first date you guys went on.

But, he’s really struggling with how to propose to you. He’s gone through every cliché in the book. A ring at the bottom of your glass, in your food, a carriage ride etc. They’re all great ideas but he doesn’t think they suit the dynamic of your relationship. So, he’s going to enlist the help of Whitebeard Pirates and create an elaborate prank (that has a 50/50 chance of going wrong but also still working out exactly as he wanted).

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

He likes to call you hot stuff or baby. Initially, these nicknames resulted in a lot of teasing from the other whitebeard pirates but neither of you cared.

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

Whitebeard and a few of the other division commanders are the first to notice. I mean, it’s not that hard… He is constantly bringing you up in every conversation (if you’re not there) and if you are there, they can’t even get his attention for a moment. You have his undivided attention! It isn’t until Marco or someone says “You’re down baddddd, Ace” that he’s like HUH?

P-PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

Ace loves PDA. He is all about kissing you in front of everyone else. So much so that you constantly get told to “get a room!”. Ace loves to show off his relationship with you to the whole wide world. He’s incredibly proud to have found someone that loves him wholeheartedly.

Q-Quirk (some random ability they have that is beneficial in a relationship?)

Well, thanks to his devil fruit, his body temperature tends to run pretty warm, so you have your own personal heater.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

Ace is romantic in his own way, that’s for sure. He expresses his love through teasing and jokes, but also through quality time. He’s big on that. Making sure all his attention is on you so you know just how much he loves you.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

He has so much faith in your ability to achieve your goals. He wants to be able to help you in any way he can, so if you come to him and ask for help, he would be absolutely ecstatic! Ace just wants to be a part of your success story (in the best way possible, I know some people only want to because then they get credited but that’s not why ace wants to do it at all! Nothing makes Ace happier than seeing those he loves achieve their goals).

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

Your relationship is already spiced out enough as it is. He’s got an extremely mischievous personality so is constantly getting up to god knows what, and some how always manages to drag you into it. If anything, your relationship could do with a little more routine (but you both are extremely happy with the way it is).

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

Ace is an extremely empathetic individual. He understands a lot more than most, just how awful negative emotions can be (whether that’s sadness, insecurity, anger etc.). So he is quick to your aid whenever something seems to wrong.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

All relationships in Ace’s life are extremely important to him. He even values them more than his own life. Your relationship is no exception. You’ve shown him love, and accepted him for who he truly is, so there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you and he makes that very clear every single day.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

He knows all your food orders off by heart. And when I say all your food orders, I mean ALL of them. He knows your food orders for each of your different moods. He memorised them pretty quickly so that he could surprise you with food regardless of your mood.

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

He is an extremely affectionate individual. Ace is practically attached to your hip at every possible moment. An arm will always be thrown around your waist or shoulders, and he literally wants to spend all day smothering you in kisses. He’s shameless when it comes to affection.

Y-Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

He copes by talking about you to EVERYONE. He tells the crew stories about you (mind you these are stories not only that they’ve heard multiple times, but they were also there to witness themselves). It gets to the point where even Whitebeard is like “ya know what Ace, you can go visit them.”

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

As I said previously, all relationships in Ace’s life are extremely important to him. We saw what lengths he was willing to go to when Thatch was killed by Blackbeard, and you would be no different. In fact, Ace would be willing to do all of that and so much more, if it was for you.

[mypalbuck]

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT. 

↳ In which sometimes loving people from afar has dire consequences. (hanahaki au)

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: angst, slight panic attack, mentions of coughing petals and trouble breathing. 

word count: 3k 

You and Bucky have been friends since you were little. He was your special person and you were his. Your friends always used to joke that the two of you would end up getting married considering how joint at the hip you were, and for a while you truly believed it. No matter what life had thrown at you, your paths always seemed to cross. You were his special person and he was yours, until one day she came into his life.

She was radiant.

The kind of girl you always aspired to be like, long beautiful hair, a smile that could outshine the sun and the worst trait of all... a genuinely nice person. You think it was this quality that made you hate her the most, she was perfect for Bucky and you couldn’t deny it one bit. That's why you shut your mouth and held back your tears when Bucky came to you one day and handed you an envelope.

You are invited to the wedding of Bucky Barnes and…

Your first instinct was to pinch yourself which earned you a strange look from Bucky. Your second instinct was the laugh, how ironic. Your third instinct was to cry, to beg him not to get married. The fourth was the sudden urge to cough, strange but you would soon realise that you would suffer greatly from a love lost. As you looked back up at Bucky who was eagerly waiting for your approval, you decided it was best to smile as genuinely as you could and congratulate him on getting someone as perfect as her to be his wife. Little did Bucky know that you went home that night and began to cough up the petals of a striped carnation.

The day had finally arrived, from today onwards Bucky would officially be yours no longer. You could no longer call him anymore in the middle of the night when you felt anxious and needed someone with you to lull you to sleep. You could no longer ask him to be your date to Tony’s parties where all your colleagues would showcase their happy relationships. You could no longer be even the tiniest bit selfish and just want to be around him. He no longer needed you, so you had to learn to no longer need him.

You decided to quickly grab some more concealer to cover up your puffy eyes, from your room at the Avenger’s Facility or Home as you like to call it. The previous night Wanda and Natasha decided to rent a hotel room for you all to have a girl’s night, a fun night to try and calm your nerves and prepare yourself physically and mentally for the day you would never be ready for. It helped for a bit you had to give it to your best friends, but once the two drifted to sleep, the overwhelming sadness crept back up to you and you spent another lonely night coughing. 

Grabbing the handle you swung your bedroom door open only to hear movement already coming from your room. “Nat, did you find the shoes? I think they were in the shoebox up the top…” looking up you expected to see your red-haired friend, but instead met the eyes of the one person you didn’t want to see right now.

“Hey…” Bucky spoke sheepishly having been caught getting dressed in a room that isn’t his. You tried to hold your tears back, your chest began to tighten. The fates have such sick and twisted humour. Out of all the rooms he could have chosen to get dressed in, it had to be yours. The room where you two would have secret movie nights. The room that served as Bucky’s oasis when he first moved in with the Avengers, the only room he felt comfortable enough to sleep in because you were there to hold him when he had a nightmare. The room which you would cry yourself to sleep in every night after the blip happened, hoping and praying that one day Bucky would come home to you and he did.

But you waited too long, double guessing if he liked you or not instead of just ripping the bandaid off and confessing. 

“Sorry for taking over your room, Doll. I just needed some space from everyone to think.” the nickname sending shivers down your spine, in response you nodded your head and waved your hand afraid of what might come out of your mouth if you spoke. Quickly you moved to your bed and took a seat, your eyes hungrily trying to take a mental note of every little feature of Bucky’s you had grown to love, as after today there would be no more longing gazes. A cough left your mouth as he reached over to put his suit jacket on, of course you always thought he was attractive but there was just something about him today that left you speechless.

Bucky caught you staring at him from the mirror and moved to sit next to you “Y/N, you’re here.” he spoke almost breathlessly, which confused you slightly. “Of course I'm here, I couldn’t miss my best friend’s wedding.” That was the first lie of the day. You had been pondering all night as to whether or not you went, but you know that by not going Bucky would have a lot of questions.

“Still can’t tie a tie?” you laughed softly, moving over to help the man out. After a moment of silence you decided to distract yourself from the close proximity that you sat to him. “Are you nervous?” Bucky let out a shaky laugh at this as you finished his tie and took a step back.”It’s totally normal to be nervous you know, Buck. You’re getting married!” moving back to your previous spot, you let him keep getting ready as you watched him begin to pace.

“Am I making the right decision, Y/N?” eyes wide, tears begin to brim your eyes as you prepare yourself for the second lie of the day. “Yes, Bucky. You’re making the right decision.” Suddenly the bed dipped next to you and Bucky’s head was on your shoulder, face burrowed into your neck. An action Bucky had grown fond of over time, slowly you began to stroke his hair, trying to calm him down as you felt him starting to panic. His head quickly shot off your shoulder as he turned his body to face you. “I don’t think I can marry her. I-I love you, Doll!”  

“W-what?!” you yelped, quickly standing up and beginning to pace around your bedroom, breathing becoming ragged as you could feel more petals coming up your throat. You moved back over to Bucky and whacked the back of his head. “WHAT THE HECK Y/N?” he rubbed the back of his head which had begun to throb. You turned around fuming and pointed angrily at him “WHAT THE HECK? BUCKY, YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED!” breaths starting to become short you rushed out of your room and into the bathroom, locking the door. Luckily you had made it into the bathroom coughing into the sink before Bucky could see the petals. “Y/N, let me in…” Bucky spoke from the other side of the door as rinse your mouth under the tap.

“Y/N… You know I can just break the door down.” Bucky spoke softly, you could hear him moving to sit with his back against the other side of the door. “Jarvis, make sure Bucky doesn’t get into this bathroom” You spoke shakily to the AI. “I’m sorry Miss L/N, but protocol will not allow me to do so unless the facility is under attack. “Dammit” you spoke, moving to sit against the door in case Bucky tried to pick the lock. “Do you really love me Bucky?” you spoke wearily, trying not to get your hopes up. You knew it was just his nerves talking but a small part of you was hopeful that he really did return the intense feelings you had for him, it would solve a lot of problems for you. A soft chuckle could be heard before Bucky replied “Why are you questioning it? We’ve been friends since we were kids. You stuck by me even after Hydra turned me into a monster, instead of running you stayed. You always stay. For that I will always love you.” You let out a bitter laugh at this “I’ve seen love in different forms, Bucky. What you feel towards me is familiar love, I’m the safe option…” more tears left your eyes as you began to grasp what was happening.

You sat in the bathroom in silence for a few minutes, silent tears falling as you tried to muffle your sobs. “Do you love me?” Bucky spoke breaking the silence, his voice evidently sad. Here came the third lie you would tell today “I loved you. Loved, past tense.” you only hoped that he wouldn’t pick up on you lying through your teeth, but you knew better than that.

“Maybe if you looked me in the eyes when you said that, I’d actually believe you.” hurt evident in his voice. Moving towards the door, you learnt your ear against it. Bucky at this point had moved away from the door which was your cue to quickly leave the bathroom. Slowly you move your hand towards the handle and open it, but before you could escape Bucky had pulled you into a tight hug which you couldn’t break free of. “B-Bucky, let me go.” you pleaded, trying to push at his chest to separate the two of you. “Do you love me, Y/N?” Bucky asked again, this time he loosened his grip to look at you. 

Mustering as much courage as you could, you look at him with a serious expression “I loved you. Loved, past tense.” the fourth lie of the day. A single tear slipped down Bucky’s cheek. Sighing deeply, you pull one of the flowers you had neatly placed in your hair and pinned it to his jacket pocket. “Good luck, I’ll see you out there.” smiling weakly you move out the door. Looking over your shoulder, you watch as Bucky inspects the flower. 

A striped carnation.

I’m sorry I can’t be with you, I wish I could. This is what a striped carnation symbolises, the regret that a love cannot be shared.

Quickly walking out of the bathroom and down the hallway, you take a moment to support yourself against the wall, “I do love you, Bucky. So damn much.”

“Y/N! There you are!” a voice spoke from down the hall as the figure rushed towards you. Quickly wiping your eyes, you came face to face with Steve, your other best friend. Noticing your tears, he spoke knowingly “He told you didn’t he?” with the single nod of your head, he pulled you into a tight hug. “I love him, Steve.” you begin to sob into his chest as he pulls you down the hallway to somewhere more private, which ended up being his car. “So he told you, huh…” Steve spoke, before running a hand through his hair and sighing. “You told him you loved him back right?” Steve asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Shaking your head no you begin to cry more, prompting Steve to take his handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and hand it to you. “No. Just- just please get me out of here.” nodding his head, Steve put his seatbelt on. 

“Y/N!” The front door slammed open as Bucky yelled after you. “Steve, please start the car.” Steve looked between you and Bucky before sighing sadly and starting the car. You slump back into the seat, eyes flickering over to the side mirror of the car, heart shattering as you spot Bucky standing in the driveway, shoulders slumped and eyes staring longingly in your direction.

“I can turn the car around...” Steve spoke softly. You open your mouth about to cave in but were cut off by the buzzing of my phone. 

Sarge 💘

I have so much I need to say, please, please come back.

More tears ran down your face as you read the pleading message. “Why’d you do it?” Steve spoke up, eyes never leaving the road. “Why’d I do what?” you responded, locking your phone and putting it in the cupholder. Ignoring the continuous flash of your screen which you assumed to be new messages from Bucky. “Everyone knows you love him back, Why’d you tell him that you don’t?” Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes. “I never intended to hurt him... but I will not be a homewrecker. I thought that I’d be alright, that I could handle being around Bucky. But I underestimated how strong my feelings were… Steve, I’m coughing flower petals.”

“I saw it. The carnation, Y/N. I know what it means...” Steve spoke sadly. “What do I do Steve? Am I going to die?” Steve quickly turned the car around and began driving back to the house. “Steve, what are you doing?” You panicked, hoping that Steve wasn’t driving back to Bucky like you thought he was. “You are going to speak to Bucky, I know he loves you back.” Steve spoke firmly, not allowing himself to be swayed as you began to cough again. “I’m not going to watch you die Y/N, especially not when it’s an easy fix. Your love isn’t unrequited!” laughing bitterly you picked up some of the petals from your lap and held them out to the super soldier “Then why all the petals?” Steve grabbed a napkin from the glovebox and took the flowers from you “I will take those to Bruce to look at while you talk to Bucky”. 

“I’m not doing this Steve!” you spoke ready to open the door of the moving car, but before you realised it you were parked in front of the facility and your door was being opened by Steve who was dragging you inside and back into your bedroom. The door was slammed shut and you could hear it being locked from the outside. “Jarvis, unlock my door please.” you commanded but there was no response. Sighing, you closed your eyes and slid down onto the floor. “Y/N?...” a soft voice spoke which made you open your eyes again hastily. Bucky was now crouching in front of you with a worried expression on his face. Your chest began to tighten and you could feel petals inching up your throat. “No, no, no, no!” you stood up and began tugging on the door handle as you began to cough excessively. “Y/N, what is going on?” Bucky swiftly picked you up bridal style and carried you to the bed as struggled to breathe.

“Y/N! Y/N! Doll! Just look at me okay, look at me and match my breaths.” Looking at Bucky you breathed in and out copying his breathing pattern, allowing you to slowly catch your breath again. Stroking your hair comforting, Bucky physically relaxed for a second before a sad expression formed on his face. Standing up, Bucky examined the petals on the floor before turning back to you “You’re sick.” you opened your mouth to disagree but you couldn’t. “I’m- I…” You let out a defeated sigh and moved to try unlocking the door again but Bucky grabbed your arm and pulled you into a hug. You began to cry. 

There was no place you would rather be than in the arms of the man you loved but you knew deep in your heart he was meant for another. “I love you, Bucky.” Your sudden words made Bucky’s eyes go wide. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You took a deep breath savouring the moment before pushing yourself from his grasp.

“But I shouldn’t be here…”

Closing his eyes, a single tear slipped down his cheek as he gingerly interlaced his fingers with yours. “I know.” he spoke, taking off his wedding band and twirling it between his fingers. “Our timing was off.” you spoke, looking down at all the flower petals that had scattered the floor. “Yeah.” he replied letting out a bitter chuckle and squeezing your hand. 

You knew the answer to the next question would break your heart, but you still asked it anyway. “Do you love her?” there was a moment of silence before Bucky nodded his head yes. You knew deep down that you weren’t fated to be together and there was nothing you could do about it. “Then that’s all that matters.” you spoke calmly before taking the ring out of Bucky’s hand and sliding it back onto his ring finger.

“But I love you too-” Bucky interjected, grabbing your face in his hands. Tears brimming his eyes as he gently caressed your face. Smiling sadly you removed his hands from your face and moved over a bit. “You can’t love us both”. The two of you stood there in silence, hands still interlocked. “I know what you have, Y/N. You’ll die.” Bucky’s voice cracked, making things so much harder for you. Turning to face him, you smile as genuinely as you could “Or maybe I won’t, I’m a healer Buck. Maybe I can heal myself.” Bucky smiled sadly down at you before kissing your head and moving to sit on the bed. He was torn, you could tell and it broke your heart that you were the reason for his internal conflict.

He wanted to save you, because in all truth he did love you. But suddenly a thought crossed his mind. Before he knew of your feelings for him, why was he not coughing petals over the thought of you not returning his feelings. Was it because he moved on with her? Was he really in love with you? Or was it familiar love like you had said? Only time could tell, but time is something you didn’t have.

Deep down you both knew nothing but love could save you. 

Oh what luck some must have. To love and to be loved in returned. 

[geminidentitycrisis]

The Scent of Leather and Hairspray

Present Mic/Hizashi Yamada x F!reader ONESHOT

(WARNINGS! - swearing)

---------

Sooooooo, I have a new favorite Pro, I guess haha

I hope you enjoy, and if you're underage, pretend you're older because I get it, I'd be Hot For Teacher too, but he's not a pedo sorry......

----------

You sighed as, upon exiting the store where you just purchased a frozen drink, the men you passed to enter that store started catcalling you. Just what you needed at the end of a rough day...

"Hey Honey, you'd be cuter if you smiled...!"

"Don't listen to that shit, babygirl, you're sexy as hell, c'mere and hang out a while...?"

Ignoring them the best you could, you kept walking, but they didn't take that very well. "You think you're too good for us, that it, stuck up bitch? Where you think you're goin'?"

You could hear their footsteps approaching behind you and turned to face them after sipping from your drink.

"Guys, please, I've had a hell of a day today and my quirk would probably scar you both for life and what do you say we just don't do this, huh?"

They exchanged glances before fixing you with threatening glares. "You think you're tough, babygirl? We'll see how tough you are when we get through teaching you some respect..." the first one said.

"HEY!"

A voice called from behind you and suddenly an arm was draped gently around your neck. You froze, being caught off guard tended to prompt a panic response when you were so tired.

You smelled leather and an overwhelming scent of hairspray.

"What's the trouble, my homies? Pretty sure ya heard the lady, she ain't jammin' to the vibe ya layin' down, ya dig? Beat it."

Heart skipping a beat or two, your eyes grew wide and a blush flooded your cheeks. "That voice...?!"

You whipped your head up to see the one and only Present Mic.

"Ah! I knew it! I knew I recognized your voice, I catch your radio show every day! You're the Sound Hero, Present Mic!" he flashed a grin down at you, winking.

"Oooh, you've got good ears, Listener! Thanks for Hypin' me up like that! Always great ta meet a FAAAN!" he responded in his commentator voice.

One of your would be tormentors interrupted angrily. "Hey, peacock head, why don't you mind your business?"

"PEACOCK...?! You boys best get ta steppin', aight?! Don't make me beat you up in fronta this pretty girl!" he replied in annoyance after his attention was so aggressively stolen from you.

The blush came back in full force and you couldn't contain a dreamy sigh as your lashes fluttered, eyes lidding contentedly now that you felt safe again.

*he said I was pretty~!* you thought.

"You believe this banana hair lookin' motherfucker? You're about to get your ass whooped, fruity!" the other threatened.

"Hey bro, watch your language! There's a lady here!" with the arm around your shoulders, Mic carefully raised it and guided you behind himself as the two started walking towards you both.

"Enough..."

Another voice came suddenly from the other side of the parking lot and everyone, with the exception of the blonde who was guarding you, turned to see Eraserhead.

Suddenly these jerks weren't so confident.

"Get lost, both of you, and go straight home or I'll bring the two of you in right now for loitering and harassment." he said calmly but with deep authority.

Mic crossed his arms, glaring at the duo as they ran off after a mere moment of hesitation, his cheeks puffed out slightly. "What a couple creepozoids! You okay, Pussy Cat...?" he quickly spun around to check you out, striking a dramatic pose while pointing at you, the trademark grin already back in place.

You smiled up at him with admiration sparkling in your eyes, clasping the cup you held in both hands and tight to your chest, stepping closer to him.

"Yes, thanks to you! You're my Hero~!"

Mic felt his own chest swell with pride a bit, the grin on his face getting bigger as he relaxed his stance and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.

Usually by now the damsel has already flung herself on Aizawa, but not only were you praising him, you recognized him from just his voice and he was impressed at that.

"I can't believe I was just rescued by my favorite Pro, I am your #1 fan! Please, are you patrolling the city tonight? Please let me buy you a coffee or tea or something?? Just as a thank you...?"

Hizashi laughed rather loudly, one hand emerging from his pocket to be placed over his chest.

"HAHA! Aaaww, how can I say NO when you ask so sweetly?! Coffee sounds like a rockin' idea right about now!"

"Ugh, we don't have time for this, Mic..." Eraserhead complained tiredly.

Eyes rolling in exasperation, the blonde groaned twice as loud. "ugGHHH!! Don't be such a buzzkill, yo! I'll get you one, too, just chill!" with that, he trailed after you back into the store.

You watched as he doctored up the coffee you poured for him, blushing again when he threw a hint of a smirk your way, using the tip of his finger to lift the gold tinted shades he wore and showing you his emerald green eyes. "Don't worry, I'll pay for my boring friend..."

Smiling, you bounced on your heels. "Damn right you will, I'm not HIS fangirl, after all..."

This promoted a slight blush to his face, but he maintained that knockout grin. "Ha! Well, good thing his best friend is here at least, lucky for him I tagged along tonight, huh??"

"Lucky for both of us..." came your soft reply from over your shoulder as you turned to walk away, your hips swaying temptingly had definitely not escaped his notice.

He followed you to the checkout counter and placed some money beside yours, his ungloved fingertips brushing against your own when he does. Leaning down closer to you, he cocked his head, pushing his shades down his nose this time and raising a brow.

"Does my #1 fan have a name...?"

Your smile bloomed again, blushing up at him. "It's  _______...but I might prefer you calling me Pussy Cat...~"

Saying that last bit, you applied a sensual undertone which he picked up on instantly, making his blush spread over his face and grow darker as he chuckled in amusement.

When you guys walked out the door, you noticed Eraserhead seemed really annoyed but tried to ignore him, looking up at the Voice Hero hopefully.

"Listen, I know you're both busy, but if you have just one more second to spare, I can't tell you how much it would mean to me if I could get your autograph..."

Looking away awkwardly, he made a pained expression. "Aw, man, I dunno, we are kinda in a hurry here and stuff..."

You felt your heart sinking when he startled you with another loud laugh. "Hahaha, gotcha! JK! Of course I will, I ain't gonna leave ya hangin' like that, no way, that ain't my STYYYYYYYYLLLE!"

Giddy with excitement, you let out a tiny squeal, quickly fishing out a small notebook and pen from your purse as he set the cups down. When you handed it to him, his fingers brushed yours again, making you bite tenderly at your bottom lip.

They were so warm and soft...

He had started to whistle a cheerful little tune as he spun the pen between his fingers before starting to write in your book, it took longer than you expected, clearly longer than Eraser expected, too.

"Say goodbye to the girl, Mic, it's time to keep moving!" he didn't yell, exactly, too lazy, but he had raised his voice since last.

"YEAH, YEAH, I HEARD YA!!! Gimme a sec, ALRIGHT?!" the volume of the blonde's reply actually made your eardrums flinch and quiver this time, but you smiled anyway as he defended you again.

"There ya go! And hey, just to spite my buddy over there, I wouldn't mind walkin' ya home ta make sure ya get there safe."

The blush came right back, clutching the book to your heart, you gave a weak smile. "No, no, it's okay, really...I took up too much of your time already, and I only live around the corner from here..."

Eyes closing momentarily while you gathered yourself, you took a deep breath before confessing. "...I cannot express how grateful I am for you...not just for saving me tonight, but also for your talk show, hearing your voice over the radio gives me strength and motivation every week...it means the world to me...thank you..."

Beckoning him by flexing a finger, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a sweet kiss against his cheek when he leaned in curiously.

Eyes widening, his whole face became scarlet red and his grin stretched from ear to ear. "AW, YEAH!"

He jumped, pumping his fists in the air and then proceeded to shoot you with his finger guns while  winking again. "Listen, I dropped my digits on that piece'a paper ya got there, Shawty...hit me up sometime if ya wanna chill! I'm down for whatever!"

You were caught off guard by that and checked the page he signed for you, finally reading what he wrote down as he rambled on as background noise about how he wasn't a creep like those other guys and you could say no without worrying about him making a scene, he just had to shoot his shot, I mean you DID kiss ME first ya know...

"For my #1 fan, _______...Thanks for the coffee and stay outta trouble! ...and maybe call or shoot a txt, if your feelin' this funky vibe, too? Live loud, Pussy Cat ;) don't ever let anyone try an put the mute on ya! XOXOX PRESENT MIC!!!"

Followed by his phone number, and there were little hearts drawn around the page.

You were already blushing when he surprised you again by returning your gesture and swooping in to plant a kiss on your cheek this time.

Reaching up to touch the spot, you smiled up at him shyly. "I can't wait...please be safe out there..."

"You got it! SEE YA SOON!" The Pro nodded vigorously, giving an enthusiastic wave of goodbye before grabbing his and Eraserhead's drinks, practically bouncing with every step.

It made you giggle, but you were trying not to get your hopes up too much. For all you knew, he gave his number out to every girl that asked him for a signature.

"Are you happy now...?" Shouta grumbled, taking the cup being offered as he turned to resume patrolling. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HECK YEAH I AM! I'M ON CLOUD NINE RIGHT NOW, I JUST MET MY FUTURE WIFE!!!!!!!!"

You heard him very clearly, the blush traveling all the way down your neck this time, and you couldn't help another small giggle, your heart fluttering with happiness like the wings of the butterflies in your belly.

He just had that effect on you.

Glancing down at the notebook in your hand as you sipped your quickly melting frosty, you noticed in the bottom right corner was a little arrow, below which was written the word "flip".

You looked up again but the two Pro Heroes were already gone.

Curiously, you flipped over the page.

MARRY ME?!?!!

a. YES!!!!!

b. a

c. b

That smooth sonuvabitch had you blushing and giggling all night.

[nasaty]

Noctilucence

Student Aizawa x (she/her) student reader, so much angssssttt and grief and a bunch of fluff. (Do not bring any pedo shit into my presence or I will fucking destroy you

MANGA SPOILERS until episode 107 comes out. - also this requires context that I am not providing from MHA manga and the arc with Aizawa in Vigilantes. TW: death. 9 part series.

Ch 1 here | Ch. 2 here | Ch. 4 here

Ch. 3 the Message

Your phone pinged on your dresser as you were fixing your hair after getting out of the shower.

It was a text from Hizashi. Your little lunch group recently produced a group chat, (in which Hizashi was obsessed with and never stopped spewing things into.) You used an app that reminded you of AOL instant messenger. You left your dinging phone on your vanity as you brushed through your tangled hair.

Cat Cafe Crew chat

(Hizashi) pr3sentmixtape - YOooO listeners did you hear about Lunch Rush?? 🥺

(Oboro) CUMulostratus - …no? Are they okay??

pr3sentmixtape - Yeah they’re fine, but the school thought they were overworking themself a bit so they’ve split lunches into two separate times starting tomorrow. 😓😭

(Nemuri) titsandass69 - what the fuk

CUMulostratus - Well I’m glad they’re okay, but do we know what lunches we have yet? What if we don’t have it together 😓

(Aizawa) Aizawa - we still have 2-A together.

CUMulostratus - 😭😭but not with Y/n!! 😭😭

Aizawa - .

pr3sentmixtape - GUYS the lunch designations haven’t even been given out yet, it’ll be okay.

titsandass69 - I will probably turn into a villain if I don’t have the same lunch as Y/n, I’m not going back to whatever the fuck we were doing before she was with us. lol

pr3sentmixtape - Apparently the lunches will get posted by 8pm tonight on our school website.

CUMulostratus - THAT’S IN 20 MINUTES

titsandass69 - no duh, airhead

pr3sentmixtape - HAH air head…. Like… air.. and clouds….cloud quirk.. I get it

titsandass69 - congratulations Hizashi 😂

CUMulostratus - •changed the name to ‘✨ CATfé chat ✨’•

✨ CATfé chat ✨

Y/u/n - 😭😭 can someone send me a picture once the lunches get posted? My internet hasn’t been working well at home.

pr3sentmixtape - I got chu, boo 😉

titsandass69- hey that’s my line 😡

You had been having trouble with the internet at home for weeks but didn’t want to bother your parents about it. They were hardly ever home, working their very important jobs in hero infrastructure. They were both born quirkless, which was surprisingly uncommon now a days, even more rare with your generation. You were old enough to fend for yourself, and even though you couldn’t drive and didn’t have a car, you were in walking distance of a grocery store and the school, so living *mostly* alone wasn’t so bad.

…but it did get kind of lonely and you wanted a cat. All the talk about making a cat cafe made you want one to snuggle up with in the evenings.

*PING* your phone went off with an image from Hizashi

✨ CATfé chat ✨

pr3sentmixtape - [pic]

We have separate lunches…. 😪😭

titsandass69- oh my GOD are you kidding meeee I’m literally about to graduate they cannot do this to me my last semester!

Y/u/n - hey can someone tell me what’s in the picture, I don’t think I can get pictures bc of my stupid internet

pr3sentmixtape- Lunch 1: 10:50-11:25

Hizashi, Oboro, Nemuri

Lunch 2: 12:30-1:10

Shouta and Y/n

Aizawa - •logged off at 8:06PM•

CUMulostratus - yikeeeees ^^^ 😬

titsandass69- this sucks

CUMulostratus - guys we’re just going to have to find time after school. Maybe we can train together and y/n can coach us 🥰

Y/u/n- I’m down with that!

pr3sentmixtape - but me and Aizawa and Oboro are in work studies….and Nemuri is….doing whatever the heck she does

titsandass69 - IM ALSO IN WORK STUDY YOU SHIT

CUMulostratus- we’ll make time for each other. we’ll figure it out. ❤️

You tried ignoring how awful it made you feel that Aizawa signed off, knowing he did that because he was angry he had lunch with you and no one else. You couldn’t ignore it.

Direct Message - CUMulostratus 🌥

Y/u/n - do you think Aizawa hates me?

CUMulostratus - nah he hates everyone

Y/u/n - …but he hates me more than everyone else

CUMulostratus- He does not! He’s just bad at emotions.

Y/u/n - yeah, bad at having anything other than negative emotions towards me

CUMulostratus - lol shit up

*shut

CUMulostratus - •changed the name to ‘sad bitches’•

Y/u/n - lol.

But seriously.

Did I do something to upset him?

CUMulostratus - okay. FINE you got it out of me.

ILL TELL YOU gosh. I can’t believe you pried it out of me

Y/u/n - ?? 🤔

CUMulostratus - I’ve known Shouta for a while, and I think I’m pretty good at reading him at this point. And I’ve noticed something.

Y/u/n - dude what are you even saying

CUMulostratus - so like essentially around everyone, he is mostly just a grumpy ass, but you’ve like… noticed that he acts a little bit different around our friends?

Y/u/n - sure

CUMulostratus - and I’ve seen him around our friends before you were hanging out with us?

Y/u/n - yeah

CUMulostratus - he acts different around you

Y/u/n - uhh yeah that’s why we’re having this convo

CUMulostratus - no I mean like, he looks at you differently than the others. he like watches you when we’re all hanging out but if anyone catches him he looks away

Y/u/n - he’s gonna kill me 😦😂

CUMulostratus - LOL nooo

ok, I asked him about it once

Y/u/n - ?

CUMulostratus - I asked how he felt about you and I’ve never seen him turn so red in my life. I almost started to tease him and he got straight up mad at me for a bit. Then he begged me to not tell anyone

Y/u/n - WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THEN

CUMulostratus - BECAUSE YOU GUYS WOULD BE CUTE TOGETHER

Y/u/n - IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN HE LOOKS LIKE HES GOING TO STAB ME AT ALL TIMES

CUMulostratus - are you saying you wouldn’t like to daaaaate him?

Y/u/n - .

CUMulostratus - ?????!!!!!?!!!??!???!!

Y/u/n - okay yeah but like it would never happen

CUMulostratus - JUST YOU WAIT

•logged off at 8:46PM•

Y/u/n - fuck

You set your phone face down knowing you wouldn’t be hearing from anyone soon. Starting to shiver you realized how much Aizawa meant to you and how you didn’t want to ruin your friendship, even if he looks like he’s torturing you in his head at all times. You knew you had feelings for him but kept pushing them down because ‘why would anyone pursue someone that hates them,’ that’s irrational.

Aizawa hated people that were irrational.

Aizawa hated you.

You decided to go to bed early, hoping that would help you be ready to face whatever these changes bring with your best friends. Maybe having a good nights sleep would help clear your head, you thought.

But nothing could’ve prepare you for tomorrow.

[aizawaslovebot]

NOW PLAYING: the ex factor by iwaizumi hajime

—reader pronouns: he/him

—warnings: curse words ; had to be cut into two parts bec i want it that way ><

—summary: desperate times mean desperate measures, and y/n l/n is definitely the embodiment of desperate. eager to make his ex jealous for reasons undisclosed (read as: he's just petty), he asks his long-time best friend, iwaizumi hajime, to pretend as his boyfriend.

—note: the second part will be out in 3 days! VERY SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG WAIT UHU

TAGLIST: OPEN ; send an ask to be added even if you've already sent an ask back then!! because all that i could recall is @ohmygodronnie2020 and @beyond-the-mxxn

<- the sweetheart playlist | part i | part ii ->

Iwaizumi Hajime should’ve trusted his gut when it went crazy at the sight of you, Y/N L/N, whose eyes held a very mischievous glint that Iwa hated. He also should’ve turned you down immediately the moment you opened your mouth. Iwa definitely should’ve reprimanded you for roping him into this stupid plan.

Sadly, all he’s doing is crying over spilt milk.

He could remember it like it was yesterday. Years of dealing with Shittykawa meant that he knew when bullshit was about to happen. He thought going to California meant finally meeting someone who isn't an idiot on the daily. You were his contradiction. You were his idiot— basically like Shittykawa’s younger, much more mischievous brother.

Honestly, did Iwaizumi only attract idiots?

On the days you aren’t going on and on and on about why the government should be overthrown or why the both of you should buy a frog table for your shared dorm, he found you to be a nice guy. The people Iwa has met always had a hidden layer to them and you were one of them. Shittykawa was one too. Though Iwa wishes he didn’t introduce the both of you to each other— you become an unstoppable ball of everything annoying when you talk to each other.

But I digress. Iwa isn’t here to cry over why he only had chaos for best friends. Iwa is here because you, Y/N L/N, while you happened to be Iwa’s contradiction for all things he considered his norm, had asked him a very big favor.

“No,” Iwaizumi grunts, regretting even entertaining the male’s request. He could see your (h/c) hair bob as you groan out of frustration. Unbeknownst to the male, you were mulling over using what has to be Iwa’s biggest weakness: your very adorable puppy eyes.

“Iwa-chaaaan,” You sniff, putting on doe-eyes for Iwa to see, “I really want to make him jealous.”

Iwa sighs, subtly turning away so he didn’t have to see the tear-stained cheeks and the glossy eyes. The poor male was about to speak, pointing out that you had been influenced by Oikawa with the damn nickname, but he was cut off.

“He hurt me a lot, y’know?” You started to well up, for real this time, “I just wanted revenge…”

Iwa sighs again but he noticeably softens, opening his arms to let you cry while he hugs you. As you wept, you accepted his gesture and immediately let yourself be engulfed in your best friend’s arms. “You’ve yet to tell me why you two broke up, dumbass,” Iwa chided, though it was lighthearted.

“Zumi, is this your backhanded way of saying yes?” You asked, but your voice was muffled by his chest.

Iwa sighs for the nth time that day as he finally resigns to his fate, “Yes.”

That encounter was a week ago. You gave Iwaizumi enough time to prepare and regret his life choices. Honestly, he should’ve predicted that his idiot timed things perfectly so that your stupid plan would take place on the university-wide party the following week. Iwa could proudly say that most of his predictions were accurate and on point. Then again, his predictions were futile anyway— the best example could be his judgement on your then-boyfriend, Akuma Azamuku.

The brunette could clearly remember how he was able to discern more than enough red flags from just meeting the god forsaken guy. It was annoying how blind you could be when you’re heads over heels in love with the wrong people. Were you not really able to see how toxic this… Akuma guy is? Terrible name too, might he add. Iwaizumi would rather you date him than this devil spawn.

But he didn’t move a muscle. Iwaizumi didn’t move a muscle especially after that thought emerged from his head. What in Godzilla’s name was he thinking anyway?

Even if he could celebrate his on-point prediction on how much of an ass the spawn of Satan was, he couldn’t exactly bring himself to mock you with an angry ‘’I told you so!” Not when it meant that your damn ex-boyfriend cheated on you, covering it up by saying that he wasn’t actually gay. Not when it meant that you had been used. Not when it meant that you, his idiot, were hurt. His idiot was hurt.

“You’re being a martyr again, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tutted through the phone, tactlessly commenting once the brunette finished relaying what was going on.

The male snorted, “What are you on, this time, Shittykawa?”

“Don’t turn this on me, you idiot.”

How the hell was Iwaizumi the idiot? No. He’s lived with idiots his entire life but he wasn’t one. If anything, both of his friends were the idiots. Not him.

“Selflessly complying with dear (N/N)’s outrageous request, regardless of how much it hurts you. Tsk, Iwaizumi Hajime. You’re one big idiot,” Oikawa sighed.

Iwaizumi scoffs at his friend’s claim, “Why the hell will helping him out hurt me? Shittykawa, did you leave your single brain cell in Miyagi?” The brunette growls, annoyed at the way Oikawa avoided giving him the straight answer.

“Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi’s breath hitches as he hears the next words, “you’re in love with (N/N), aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi Hajime was, in fact, an idiot.

He was an idiot for realizing it much later than wanted; for allowing Shittykawa, of all people, to know this one fact before him; and for opening an avenue for bigger wounds because all he wanted was to help his best friend. He probably had to be the biggest idiot among the three— and that’s saying a lot… like more than a lot.

The soon-to-be trainer could hear his pro best friend sigh in response to his stunned silence. Iwa concludes that it was weird to be on the receiving end of a tired sigh but he doesn’t utter a word. Not even after Oikawa begins to speak again. “I can’t even bring myself to tease you tonight… or today… or whatever time it is there, Iwa-chan. What will you do now?”

Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to let himself get involved in petty things like this nor does he let himself go against judgement. That is, if you weren't in the question. The brunette was very sure that you were his contradiction— unknowingly forcing him to go against all the boundaries Iwa had set and done. You, also a trainer in the making, could easily be the death of Iwaizumi Hajime. But if it’s you, then he’d gladly embrace this death.

“I’m going.”

Those two words were a lot harder to say than the tired male liked to admit. So as he ends the dreadful phone call with Oikawa, he secretly hopes that next week will never come.

Even if Iwaizumi tried his hardest to deny, next week actually came. Not that it was a surprise. No one could stop the turning of time, the rotation of the Earth, nor the ticking of the clock. How the hell would he even stop next week from coming? Heck, Iwaizumi couldn’t even stop you from this stupid revenge quest that you had set.

Pretend to be his boyfriend, you said. It would be easy to do anyway, you said. We’ll be in and out in a jiffy, you said.

To hell with all the lies that you had promised. It was beyond Iwaizumi’s skills and strength to pretend to be someone you romantically loved when he actually wanted it to be true. The Aoba Johsai Iwaizumi would’ve dipped; Iwaizumi from last year would’ve never pushed through. But here he is, standing in front of the mirror in your shared dorm, preparing to do what he deemed an impossible feat.

You will always be Iwaizumi Hajime’s contradiction. And at this point, he isn’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing. All Iwa knows is that this will soon end and like the way next week came, tomorrow will soon be today.

So all Iwaizumi could do is psych himself up to do impossible— the same way he had convinced himself he was an ace in volleyball or the same way he gave himself assurance with his college application— and push through with the plan.

I can do this. I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, former volleyball ace and soon, an athletic trainer. I’ve dealt with Shittykawa all my life. I was able to get into a college in California by myself. This should be easy. I can do this.

“Should I wear this, ‘zumi?” You call out from the bathroom, holding two slightly different tops for Iwa to see. The way the brunette spluttered at the sight of a half-naked you was embarrassing to say the least, but Iwaizumi was thankful that you had been too engrossed to even notice the reddening of his ears. ‘God damn it, Hajime. Half-naked Y/N isn’t new,’ he chastised himself mentally as he coughs. “Use the darker one,” was Iwaizumi’s curt reply.

I can do this.

You should not have lit up at his answer like that. The sight gave Iwaizumi more joy than he liked to admit. Nothing could ever top what you said next though.

I c-can do this...

“Oh! This one matches yours too! We look good together, huh?”

I cannot do this.

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi sighs to mask his flustered state, “just shut up and wear it already.” You only laugh in response, already used to Iwaizumi’s brash way of dealing with things. “Alright, puddin’. Just wait. You can’t rush art,” You reply sarcastically, using the other nickname that Iwa had begun to dread.

Iwa resorts to the comfort of his phone— or rather, he uses the phone to conceal the undying pink on his cheeks so you wouldn’t see. Maybe if he spared a minute before he did so, he would’ve seen that you were equally flustered; seemingly embarrassed to have said what you had in their conversation. But it is what it is, and Iwaizumi has to continue his emotional constipation without ever knowing that had ever happened.

You take Iwa’s hand in yours before you lead Iwa out of your dorm and to wherever the god forsaken party was. “What’s with the skinship?” Iwa asks, though the way he adjusts the grip so it would be comfortable didn’t go unnoticed. Maybe he had started to like the prospect of this whole fake dating fiasco because it let him taste of what could’ve been instead of just wondering how it felt.

“Nothing you’re not used to, puddin’. And uh… uh… this way we could look like an actual couple,” You stammer and avoid eye contact, your hand still in Iwa’s warmth though.

If Iwaizumi hadn’t been too distracted, too haunted by the reminder that this was just pretend, then he would’ve noticed that you had seemed unsure, seemed too engrossed in the feeling of your hands together that you weren’t able to make a great excuse. He once again resigns to what has been destined. “The Y/N L/N I know doesn’t do things half-assed,” Iwa claims as he drops their hands, “By that logic this should be okay right? So people would really think we’re together.”

‘It isn’t okay,’ You croak internally. Iwa decided to go against all things normal by doing this… this very compromising position that ensured the two of you looked like nothing else but a couple. Iwa decided, despite not knowing how much damage it would bring to your poor heart, to wrap an arm around your waist.

Unknown to the soon-to-be trainer, you were just as, if not more, smitten with him as Iwa was with you. You almost revealed the reason behind your bad break-up and even let Iwa see that he had this much of an effect on you. So this, to see Iwa be so into the role of his pretend boyfriend, both flustered and somehow hurt you.

You didn’t know why it hurt though.

“You okay there, dumbass? ” Iwa asks, getting too close to your face and being far too concerned than your heart could’ve handled.

Everything about this was confusing. Both of your minds were having their own storms as the both of you stumbled upon this new, confusing field in between friendship and romance. Closeness with Iwa wasn’t new to you at all. Him lightly calling you dumb wasn’t new at all. So why, in God’s name, did your ribcage feel like breaking apart from the very loud beating of your heart?

If Iwa had to ask himself the same question he asked you, he would’ve gotten a big ‘NO’ from himself. Initiating skinship to this extent made Iwa’s brain malfunction. Not only that, but the feeling of your waist was very much heavenly and mind-boggling. To put a cherry on top of the sundae called “Iwaizumi Hajime’s gay panicking,” the speechless and cute expression you had was too much for his heart.

Turns out that you would answer the same as Iwa, not that the brunette knew though.

This plan of yours started on the right course. Your dick of an ex did cheat on you and you wanted to make him regret ever even thinking of using you as a scapegoat from his problems. It was common sense to ask for the aid of your best friend, right? He, of all people, would know you and understand you best. So when did your fake dating extravaganza take its turn? At what point did this plan converge into something different?

In other words, did you still want to make your ex jealous? Or did you want to see how it would feel to date your best friend?

Time did not let you answer the many questions that formed in your pretty head. Before either of you knew it, you’ve arrived at the party.

You turn to look at Iwa, who was somehow already gazing at you with that intense fire in his eyes, and nod.

It’s showtime.

—reblogging helps a lot !! thank you for reading !!

[is-nini]

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 1

Title: Being sucked in

A/n: I'm not sure how long this.. story will take but i will try my best to keep it entertaining.. this story is about you, being sucked into genshin world, this is part 1.. please enjoy. Leave a comment or suggestion.. possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

Today is another normal day, nothing is really out of the ordinary, the sky is a little bit cloudy but you don't mind, you think that the wind blowing against your hair is very nice as you walk towards your school. You walked inside, stopping Infront of the locker to the entrance to fix your stuff and take your schedule until you felt a presence beside you.

"oh, hello sidia".

You greets one of your sleepy friend, she just let's out a 'hmm' and a nod while looking through her locker, not even giving you an eye contact. sidia has always been like this, she never really made an eye contact towards you but she still shows that she has some of her attention towards you.

"good morning".

Your other friend, Chelz Lee, let's out a mutter to the both of you, Chelz is more talkative then Sidia, you met them maybe a couple of years ago. they're a very talented artist and are a very interesting friends to be around with.

"what's up guys".

You too greet them without looking at their eye, you take your books out and proceed to take a peak at Sidia's schedule.

"oh? Mathematics on the first hour? Goodluck".

You snicker and slap her shoulder a little bit, she stares at you uninterestedly with her sleepy eye and started to walk away, letting you stare at her black low ponytail hair.

You giggle and take a peak at Chelz's schedule. Art. her first lesson for today seems fun you thought sighing at the sight of your first schedule that reads 'science'.

Chelz already went half way to catching up to Sidia before she looks back at you as if asking you to join them and you did. You jog towards her, taking her hand and started to jog towards Sidia either.

"how are you both?".

You ask them both while fixing the books on your hand and looking at your shoes to check the lace.

"depressed".

Sidia answered, you make a 'uhuh' sound feeling used to her answers. Chelz stroke her short wavy black bangs out of her eyes and use her black glasses and start to read her novel. Her black short hair blows a little because of the wind.

"fine".

She answered you, yawning and stretching her arms out beside her. You and the rest of your friend said goodbye to eachother and proceed to go to your different ways.

You went inside your class. As usual people are in teams, some are in teams for fun, some are in teams for checking today's lesson.

You take a one seat beside the window and wait for the teacher to come inside the classroom.

The lesson went on as usual, smoothly even, you did your homework andd the score that you got on yesterday's test is not bad, B is not a bad grade. You take out your binder and put the paper's that you got in to the binder.

Going home is the best thing about the day. You and Chelz are chatting away about until you guys cane across a gaming store.

"ou? A gaming store".

Sidia said, catching yours and Chelz attention. Chelz look at that place very seriously, squinting her eye.

"...since when is there a gaming store here- y/n!".

She was very suspicious of this place, she doesn't remember any gaming store around here... And if there is one opening soon it should be the talk of the school. in short Chelz was suspicious but you, being a gaming enthusiast decided to check it out, thinking maybe they have a good and cheap open world game.

"... She's crazy".

Sidia chuckled. She took Chelz arm, snapping her out of her suspicious state and drag her towards the gaming store.

"yo- sidia i don't wanna die".

"well i do. So let's go".

And with that the both of them followed you in.

The store looks very cool.. it's like you're in a different world. The ceiling's wallpaper is made out of galaxy like drawing and the light bulb was covered with another ball that is drawn to match with the different planets on the solar system.

"welcome to the store how may i help you".

A girl that looks like in her mid 20 greets the both of you, she have short black hair and a green uniform and a little pin on the breast part of her uniform spell out 'katheryne'. Which you assume was her name.

"hello! I was wondering do you have any open world game?".

You instantly ask her, not caring about the suspicious store, you don't even care about the insides of the place. You just wanted to play a open world game that's full of interesting stuff. The girl name katheryne hums in understanding and goes behind the table to look for a game you requested. Chelz grabs your hand and shout whisper to you.

"this place is creepy y/n. Let's get out of here".

Chelz scold you, you sigh and looks at her calmly shaking your head no.

"it's fine, were fine, what's the worst thing that could happen?".

You whisper back with a lighter tone. Really you don't care if this place comes out of nowhere you just want your game, you're smiling stupidly while waiting for the girl.

"anywayyy if anything happened, Sidia is here, she'll be able to protect us using her fighting style knowledge thingy".

Sidia scoffed and fold her arms, looking at you as if you're crazy.

"i will leave you alone and save myself".

You laugh and was about to slap her back when she holds your hand and rolls her eyes at you.

"such a tsun tsun".

You laugh out, she slowly and gently let your hand away. From the corner of your eye you can see katheryne walking towards the counter. You immediately jump and went towards her.

"this is the only open world game that i found".

She said, you look at the weird japanese like word, assuming it was the title you try to read what is said.. you don't understand it but the design was cool though.

"this is a open world game called genshin impact. I will not spoil the story but i think this game might be the game you're looking for".

Her confidence is seeping in on your game needy state so you decided to purchase it, not thinking twice. Sidia face palm while Chelz just sigh, feeling tired of your hot headed act.

"it will be 2$".

You felt giddy, you can't help it. It's cheap and is a open world game, that is a steal. After taking your stuff, the both of your friend immediately pull you away from the store.

"okay y/n. You got what you need, that place is sus i tell ya".

Sidia said, Chelz nods her head and fix her black glasses, she stare at you while furrowing her eyebrows.

"you gotta stop doing reckless thing. Who knows what that place is".

You sigh and nod, rolling your eye. You giggle anyway and put the game in front of you.

"i know.. but were safe! I wanna try and play it when i get home".

Sidia and Chelz just sigh, what can they do anyway. On the way home you and your friends goes on your own separate way as usual, you jog towards your home, feeling giddy to play the new game.

You take a bath, and goes straight to your computer, opening the plastic wrapper on the game. You insert the disc and started to wait for the loading screen.

And oh gosh.. isn't it pretty, the cutscene the art. Everything. So the game basically tells you about the story of two traveller, who was travelling from world to world until suddenly a mysterious god appears, took one of the twins and take away the other twins power, and now you're playing as the twin who was looking for their missing sister.

You look at the wishing button, tempted to wish for a character, you decided to pull. Expecting a cool banner of the current character instead, you're greets by a white screen.

"hm.. should i restart it?".

You mumble to yourself, nodding in agreement at your words, you close the disc and pulls out the game from your computer. You take a nearby wipe and wipe the back disc gently and then put it back in on the computer.

The game is launching when suddenly you felt a huge and sudden headache comes over you.

"ugh-!".

You groan, gosh.. maybe it's because you have been staring at the screen for too long.. you thinks as a bumping headache keeps going at you.

While waiting for the game you decided to lay back a bit, rest your eyes and head.. this headache is not going away anytime soon if you keep waiting and staring at the screen.

Before you reach the bed, your body stumble forward and fall on to the floor, cannot control any part of your body you close your eyes and your mind went blank.

A darkness is all that you see.. a darkness is all that you're in.. you remember that the last time you are in your bedroom, playing genshin until a huge headache wave over you. Now that you're sense's is back something felt wrong.. you can tell you are laying on something.. it's not comfy but it's still felt quite nice.

You opened your eye slowly and look around the place, groaning as you stare at the half blue and half white wall. You look at your bed and this bed looks like one of the hospital bed..... Wait hospital bed?! You instantly look around frantically where the heck are you?!

"oh you're awake!".

A gentle calm voice echoed throughout the room. That voice sounds familiar.. you turn around and saw a girl with a nurse hat and a white dress, her cream coloured hair is put in a ponytail... Barbara?!.

You stare at her unbelievably. Act cool.. act like.. like a human.. yeah!. You think to yourself. You know this girl.. this girl is the free 4 star character that you'll get once you reach a certain level. Okay y/n.. play it cool.. just act like you don't know this place.

"why.. am i here?".

You look at the girl, she seems nervous to be around you ... Which is normal maybe. She walked beside you and take a cup of empty glass beside you and pour a pitcher full of water inside the glass half full and then take them, offering the glass to you.

"you're in Mondstat.. the land of freedom.."

A/n; GOD I'm so sorry it took a long time, i hope the 'cliffhanger' makes sense...? But! Thankyou for reading! I am working on part 2 so more will be incoming!!!

[chicgeekgirl89]

The House in the Pines Where the Road Ends

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand, Andrea Reyes, Gabriel Reyes, The Reyes Family

Rating: K

Summary: Four sisters. Nine nieces and nephews. Dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Carlos has a big, loud, over-the-top family, and T.K. is about to meet all of them at the annual Reyes Family Barbecue. It's a day that promises food, fun, and lots of nosy questions. All T.K. wants is to make a good impression and all Carlos wants is for his family not to scare off his boyfriend. When a stray baseball ruins the fun, both T.K. and Carlos will discover that neither of them ever needed to worry.

A/N: I am so happy to FINALLY introduce you to my version of the Reyes family. They have become a character all their own and I love them very dearly. Get ready to see and hear more about them in upcoming fics! I cannot say enough thank you's to @bluenet13​ who has read this fic approximately a billion times in all its different stages, has beta'ed the heck out of it, and still wants to be friends with me.

For the @badthingshappenbingo​ prompt: Sports Injury

Read on Ao3

“Wait, but are you sure this shirt is okay?” T.K. asked, twisting around in front of the mirror to look at it from every possible angle.

“Do you really think my family is going to decide whether or not they like you based on your shirt?” Carlos asked with a laugh.

“It’s their first impression of me,” T.K. said, fussing with the hemline, trying to get it to lay exactly right. “I just want it to be good.”

Carlos came up behind him, wrapping his arms around T.K.’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. “They are going to love you.” He pressed a kiss to T.K.’s cheek.

T.K. turned in his arms so they were face to face, anxiety trickling through his veins. “I love you,” he said.

“I know,” Carlos told him. “I love you too.”

“Your family is important to you and I guess I can’t help feeling like…there’s a chance that if they don’t like me…”

“T.K…” Carlos sent him a look of fond exasperation.

“I know!” T.K. said quickly. “I know it’s ridiculous. But if they don’t like me, I don’t know where we go next.”

“I don’t think we need to borrow trouble like that,” Carlos said. “You already know my parents love you. And so do Elena and Elías.”

They’d had dinner at Carlos’ second eldest sister’s home a few weeks back. It had been fun to meet her and her husband along with their daughter, Carolina, and twins, Marco and Diego. Marco was rambunctious and spunky while Diego was more mild mannered and T.K. had enjoyed watching Carlos chase them around the backyard, playing baseball, tag, and wrestling.

But meeting one sister and her family was completely different from attending the annual Reyes Family Barbecue where there would be hundreds of aunts, uncles, and cousins to try and remember.

“Trust me,” Carlos said. “Elena will have spread the word and you’ll already have pre-approval before we even get there.”

“What if I call someone the wrong name?” T.K. asked. “I still think you should have written up a family tree like I asked you to.”

Carlos rolled his eyes. “There’s no point. We’re adding to it like every day there are so many of us. You’ll never be able to remember. If you’re not sure just call them Gabriel or Valentina. There’s a forty percent chance you’ll be right.”

“This isn’t fair,” T.K. said, burying his face in Carlos’ shirt. “I have like, four family members. The playing field is so uneven I don’t even have a chance.”

Carlos kissed his forehead. “Just relax and enjoy the food. That’s all anyone expects of you.”

“I seriously doubt that,” T.K. grumbled.

“Listen, if anybody should be concerned in this situation, it’s me,” Carlos said.

“You?” T.K. raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“You just said, you come from a small family. My family is big and loud and all up in each other’s business. Francesca alone might be enough to make you run all the way back to New York.”

Carlos had talked before about his wild child fourth sister, Francesca. Apparently she was a force to be reckoned with and had caused quite a bit of trouble as a kid. According to Carlos every time he’d gotten in trouble, it had actually been Francesca’s fault. Well Francesca and Adriana, Carlos’ cousin who was more like a fifth sister. She and Francesca had been born within weeks of each other and been an inseparable duo ever since.

“New York is a pretty long way to run,” T.K. said. “And I’ve gotten kind of used to sleeping with you. I don’t really want to have to break in a new mattress. Oh, and for all I know you’ve gotten kind used to having my exercise bike in your dining room and I would have to buy a new one of those, plus moving costs are out of sight and I am on a civil servant’s salary here.”

Carlos kissed him again. “Come on. We’re already late and if we don’t get there soon then I will be in trouble.”

T.K. had already visited the Reyes family ranch a handful of times, but he had never seen it quite like this. Cars lined every inch of the drive up to the house, from pick-up trucks to mini-vans and everything in between. “Is this a family barbecue or a Lady Gaga concert?” T.K. asked as they got out of the car.

Carlos laughed and reached for his hand. “I told you.”

“Yeah I hoped maybe you were exaggerating a little bit,” T.K. said as they walked toward the driveway. As if he hadn’t been nervous already, now he felt overwhelmed. He was generally charming and good with people, but this was…a lot.

Carlos tensed. “Come this way,” he said, voice low as he tugged T.K. more to the side of the driveway, where a row of cars hid them from view of the house.

“What are we doing?” T.K. asked in confusion.

“We’re—”

“Carlitos don’t you even try! We see you over there!” a feminine voice called.

Carlos winced and looked at T.K. “I’m just going to say ahead of time that I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

Two women came around the line of cars, each of them holding a drink. “You weren’t trying to hide from us were you?” the taller of the two asked.

“No I was just trying to get T.K. inside without the third degree first,” Carlos said, giving each of them a pointed look.

“Carlitos we’re not going to give him the third degree,” the second woman said, her many earrings flashing in the sunlight. “We’re just going to try and prepare him for what he’s about to face.”

“You don’t need to prepare him,” Carlos said with a sigh of long suffering. “There’s nothing to prepare for.”

“Oh my god Carlos, you cannot just drag him in here without some proper preparation,” the first woman said, turning to look at T.K. “So, you’re the firefighter stripper, huh?”

T.K.’s eyes went wide and he looked to Carlos who had closed his eyes and was shaking his head. “For the last time, he’s a paramedic now and he has never been a stripper.” He opened his eyes and took a breath in a clear attempt to calm himself down. “T.K. I would like you to meet my sister Francesca.”

“His youngest older sister,” Francesca clarified looking T.K. up and down. “You’re hot enough to be a stripper.”

“And my cousin Adriana,” Carlos said loudly in an attempt to stop his sister’s comments. 

“It’s nice to meet you both,” T.K. said with a smile, hoping to diffuse some of the awkwardness. “Carlos has told me a lot about you.”

“Is it about how we were always getting him in trouble when he was a kid? Because that’s a lie,” Adriana said. 

“Total lie,” Francesca echoed. “So, how has it been, living in sin with my brother?”

“Oh my god Francesca can you just let us get through the door first?” Carlos cried.

She shook her head and grinned. “Nope. This is way more fun. Besides, Adriana got to know about him first, so I wanted to meet him before everyone else.”

“Did Carlos tell you not to tell Tía Maria you’re living together?” Adriana asked.

“Um, no, he didn’t mention that,” T.K. said, looking once again to his boyfriend.

“I didn’t really think it was necessary,” Carlos said.

“Tía Maria has strong religious opinions,” Francesca said.

“Oh is she not…” T.K. began to pull his hand from Carlos’ but his boyfriend held on firmly.

“Tía Maria is fine with the gay, she’s just not all right with fornication,” Adriana said with a grin, eyeing T.K. for his reaction.

“Oh my god, forget it, we’re going home,” Carlos said, trying to turn around, but Francesca grabbed his other arm.

“Nuh uh hermano,” she said sweetly. “Mom and Dad are expecting you. I already texted them and told them you’re here.”

“Wait hold on, I’m confused,” T.K. said, feeling slightly panicked as the conversation moved so quickly around him. “What do I need to know about Tía Maria?”

“Tía Maria is very against pre-marital sex,” Francesca said.

“In her mind we’re all pure, sweet, innocent little virgins, waiting to give up our virtue to our husbands on our wedding nights,” Adriana said, her face suggesting that she’d rather throw up than submit to that particular lifestyle. “Little does she know that ship has sailed.”

“Under the bleachers with Jake Thompson in the eleventh grade,” Francesca said.

“In Mike Kowalski’s backseat…”

“After prom with Sebastian Chavez…”

“Okay that’s enough of the sexcapades thank you,” Carlos said, looking disgusted.

“You didn’t think I needed to know this?” T.K. said looking at Carlos.

“I am not ashamed of us living together,” Carlos told him. “I don’t care if Tía Maria knows.”

“Ugh barf,” Francesca said. “God I wanted to be mad at you for caving and leaving us all alone at the singles table but you’re so grossly in love I don’t even want you there anymore.”

“Can we go in now?” Carlos asked. “Is this little interrogation over with?”

“Oh you can go in, but it’s far from over,” Adriana said, wrenching T.K.’s arm away from Carlos and tucking it into her own as she walked him toward the house. “So, T.K. What can we get you to drink? Beer? Margarita? Or are you a wine snob? You look like you could be a wine snob.”

“He’s from New York, they’re all wine snobs there,” Francesca said.

“T.K. doesn’t drink,” Carlos called from behind him. “You already know that.”

Adriana nodded. “Just checking. That’s cool. I did the sober thing for like six months once. My skin was so great.”

“Okay, I’m taking T.K. inside now,” Carlos said, rescuing his arm from Adriana’s grip. “You two can go back to wherever it is you came from. I’m going to guess…the gates of hell?”

“So rude Carlos,” Francesca said with a roll of her eyes.

“Come on Cesca, I need another margarita,” Adriana said, pulling her toward the back of the house.

“But I have more questions!”

“Questions later! Margarita now!”

They disappeared around the side of the house, leaving Carlos looking embarrassed and T.K. feeling like he’d just been through a whirlwind. “You can literally ignore everything about them,” Carlos said as he opened the door. “Just pretend they don’t exist. That’s what the rest of us do when they get like this.”

T.K. had a feeling neither Francesca nor Adriana liked to be ignored, but Andrea greeted them immediately as they walked inside, leaving him no opportunity for further questions or conversation. “T.K.! Carlitos! Welcome!”

There were a few other people milling around inside, but it seemed like most of the family was in the backyard. T.K. could hear music playing and the smell of barbecue wafted through the glass slider doors that led to the oversized back patio.

“Sorry we’re late Mama,” Carlos said, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s my fault,” T.K. said. “I had a shift and it ran over.”

“No apologies necessary,” Andrea said, waving a hand. “I understand the important work you boys do. I’m just sorry your dad couldn’t make it T.K.”

“He said to tell you hello and that he will be here for sure next time,” T.K. told her with a smile.

It had been a huge relief to find out that the party was scheduled while his dad was on shift. The last thing he needed was one more thing to give him anxiety about meeting Carlos’ family.

Andrea caught his face in both hands. “We are so glad you’re here T.K.” she said, kissing him on the cheek. “Now, let’s get you something to drink. I’ve got lots of that fancy water you like.”

The back slider opened as Andrea pulled a water from the refrigerator for T.K. “Boys! Bienvenidos!” Gabriel boomed as he stepped inside, bringing the scent of barbecue with him.

“Gabriel close that door before the air conditioning gets out,” Andrea scolded.

“Of course mi amor,” he said. “I was just looking for another set of tongs. Daniel is going to help with the second grill.”

“They’re in the pantry,” Andrea said. “Where they always are.”

Gabriel paused to kiss her on the cheek. “What would I do without you?”

“Starve?” Carlos suggested with a cheeky smile as he grabbed a grape off the counter and popped it in his mouth.

Gabriel snorted. “Probably.”

“All right now you two, head on outside and join the party,” Andrea said. “You don’t want to be stuck in here with me.”

“Are you sure?’ Carlos asked. “We can stay and help.”

“No, no,” Andrea said quickly. “Gloria will be back in a minute. Go! Enjoy! Introduce T.K. to the family.” She lowered her voice. “But don’t tell Tía Maria that you live together. You know how she gets and I do not need another lecture on how I raised my children with loose morals.”

“Yes, for everyone’s sanity, please keep that to yourselves,” Gabriel said, reappearing with the tongs in hand. “No need for my sister to know that you are breaking the commandments.”

T.K. turned and looked at his boyfriend. “Everyone seems very concerned about this.”

Carlos shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Everyone is overreacting. Tía Maria isn’t that scary.” He kissed T.K. on the side of his head and grabbed his hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you. Besides, there are so many people here, we might not even see Tía Maria.”

They stepped out the door into the backyard. To the left was a play set that dozens of children were taking advantage of. To the right were several grills, all smoking away, the tables next to them already piled high with food and drink. And underneath sprawling oak trees dozens of picnic tables and lawn chairs had been set up, all of them full of people talking, laughing, and eating together. 

“I knew you should have made that family tree for me,” T.K. said, starting to feel really nervous now as he saw exactly how many people had scattered across the backyard.

They made it about four feet before they were accosted by well meaning relatives. Cousins, aunts, uncles, everyone seemed to want to meet Carlos’ new boyfriend. T.K. smiled and nodded and tried in vain to remember everyone’s names. Carlos hadn’t been exaggerating, there were a lot of Gabriels and Valentinas.

“Ay, okay, leave the boys alone,” a woman finally said, interrupting the melée. She sported a longer version of Carlos’ curls and T.K. remembered her face from some of the family photos. “Shame on all of you, they haven’t even eaten anything.”

She turned a warm smile on them as the crowd dispersed and went back to their merriment. “Hola T.K. I’m Teresa.”

Carlos’ oldest sister. She and her husband Javier lived in San Diego with their four kids, Valentina, Eva, Gabriel, and Bianca. Their visit to town was the reason the barbecue had been scheduled for this particular weekend. 

“Nice to meet you,” T.K. said, immediately feeling the same warmth and comfort radiate from her that he did from Carlos. 

She turned and pulled her brother in for a hug, whispering something in his ear that made him laugh. “Come on. You can sit with us. I’ll fend off the nosy relatives,” she told them.

“Thank you,” Carlos said in relief. “I didn’t think it would be quite this bad.”

“You never do,” she said with a smile as she led them to the picnic table where her husband Javier was sitting with another couple that T.K. thought he recognized. 

“T.K. this is my husband Javier. And have you met Lucía and Justin yet?” Teresa asked.

Ah, Lucía. Carlos’ third oldest sister. She and Justin lived with their kids in McKinney and had driven up for the weekend. They had been set to attend the dinner with Elena and Elías but one of the boys had ended up in a soccer championship so they’d had to cancel. 

“So T.K. I hear you’re from New York? Nice to have another East Coaster join the party,” Justin said.

“Oh yeah, Carlos said you’re from Philly right?” T.K. asked.

“Born and bred,” Justin raised an eyebrow. “You don’t cheer for the Giants do you?”

T.K. smiled. “I’m more of a Mets fan actually. Football’s not really my thing.”

“Well that means I don’t have to hate you, but don’t say that too loud in Texas. Football is life here,” Justin told him.

“So I’ve noticed,” T.K. replied.

“Tío Carlos!” a gaggle of kids ran up to the table all of them clamoring for Carlos. 

“Tío Carlos I got on my soccer team at school!”

“Can you come play baseball!”

“Did you know my tooth is falling out?”

“Is that your boyfriend?”

Everyone talked at once and Carlos seemed to take it in stride, giving hugs and ruffling hair, looking at loose teeth, and promising to come and play in a minute.

“Hey, all of you, adiós,” Elena said. “Leave Tío Carlos alone. He’ll play with you later.”

It took a few more admonishments from their parents, but eventually the children dispersed to different corners of the ranch. “We’re doing you a favor T.K.,” Lucía told him, rocking baby Nicolás back and forth. “Once Carlos goes with the children he doesn’t come back.”

“He’s their favorite uncle,” Justin explained.

“And for good reason,” Javier added. “His knees are young and spry.”

“You guys are exaggerating. The kids love everybody,” Carlos said with a roll of his eyes.

Teresa shook her head. “It’s okay to admit that you’re their favorite Carlos. You’ve earned the honor.” She looked at T.K. “Carlos is too modest.”

“So I’ve noticed,” T.K. said fondly and he could see Carlos blush a little bit.

“Okay that’s enough of that,” Carlos said. “We’ve been here half an hour and no one has offered me any food. What has happened to this family?”

The situation was fixed immediately and T.K. found himself with more food than one person could possibly hope to consume, sitting and listening to the Reyes siblings recount stories from their childhood.

T.K. felt the bench next to him shift and turned to find Francesca and Adriana joining them.

“Did Carlos tell you about the time he ran away from home?” Teresa asked.

Carlos groaned. “No, do we have to tell this story every time?”

“Yes, because it’s hilarious,” Elena said. “He was what, about six at the time?”

“I was sixteen so yes,” Teresa said. “Carlitos was mad because all of us sisters got to go to a movie and he didn’t. So he wrote a note saying he was running away and never coming back.”

“And then he disappeared for seven hours,” Lucía chimed in. “Mom was beside herself. They checked the entire house, called all his friends, she was sure he’d been eaten by a coyote.”

“Well I was the one who found him,” Teresa said with a smile. “Up in that tree,” she pointed several feet to the left, “crying because he’d climbed up too high and couldn’t get down.”

“We had to call the fire department to come and get him,” Francesca said with a smirk.

“And when they got him down, did he get in trouble?” Elena asked. “Nope. Because Mama was all—“

“My baby!” all four women chorused together. 

“Carlitos never gets in trouble,” Adriana said. “Ever. All he has to do is bat his eyelashes at Tía Andrea and she starts talking about how innocent and sweet he is and how he could never start a fight or break a window…”

Carlos had put a hand to his forehead and looked like he was in physical pain. “Are you done now?” he asked.

“No way,” Lucía piped up. “We still have to tell T.K. about the time you drove the tractor into the pond.”

“The pedal was stuck!” Carlos cried.

“That’s what he says every time,” Francesca told T.K. “It’s a lie.”

Carlos burst forth in a tirade of Spanish, likely exonerating himself from the tractor-pond fiasco and all of the women immediately began to contradict him. T.K. wasn’t sure whether to smile or intervene as they all talked over each other. His high school level Spanish could only pick up the occasional word. 

“This happens every time,” Elías said. “They’ll calm down in a minute.”

“A minute?” Javier said. “Forget a minute. We can all leave, they’ll be at it for at least half an hour now.”

Things really came to a head when Francesca stood, slammed her hands against the table, and shouted, “I did not put that goat in Lucí’s bed, that was Elena!”

“I watched you do it!” Carlos yelled back.

“Well then your brain is broken because that is not what happened!” Francesca said, pointing a finger at him.

The argument was broken up by the arrival of Andrea, followed closely by another woman T.K. didn’t recognize. “Girls! Ya basta! Qué esta pasando? Arguing in front of our guests, what is wrong with you?” she said, setting a large plate of taquitos in front of them.

“Disculpa Mama,” they all muttered, but T.K. caught Francesca giving Carlos the finger under the table and then she jumped a second later when he pinched her leg.

“Honestly,” she scoffed at them. “I am ashamed of all of you. T.K. I apologize on behalf of my daughters. I did not raise them to be like this.”

“See?” Lucía said with a roll of her eyes. “We’re all in trouble, but Carlitos is completely innocent.”

“Of course he’s innocent, he would never argue in front of guests,” Andrea said. “Did you all say hello to Tía Maria?”

“Hola Tía,” they all chorused.

“And Maria, this is T.K., Carlos’ boyfriend,” Andrea said with a smile.

T.K. felt himself stiffen under the intense gaze of Carlos’ infamous aunt. But he smiled and waved a hand. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she said. She turned and looked at Teresa and Javier. “Cuándo será la primera comunión de Marco y Diego?"

T.K. caught a glimpse of Francesca who smiled at him and raised her eyebrows in an “I told you so” kind of way. 

“Later this summer,” Elena said smoothly. “We will send you an invitation of course.”

“They are a bit behind, no? Why the delay in this important milestone?”

“Tía, with Covid and everything it all just got pushed back. Don’t worry,” Elena told her.

“You’d better get a move on,” Adriana said. “We wouldn’t want them to miss out on all the blessings of the Lord.”

Tía Maria’s eyes narrowed as she picked up on Adriana’s sarcasm. “Is there something wrong with wanting my nephews to grow up properly in the church?”

“Of course not,” Andrea said quickly. “And they are Maria. Very good, pious little boys.”

T.K. saw the mischievous glint in Francesca’s eye as she opened her mouth. “So T.K., you live with your dad?” 

Everyone at the table froze and turned to look daggers in her direction. “Ah Maria! The watermelon! We forgot it inside, come on,” Andrea said quickly, glaring at her daughter over her shoulder as she ushered Maria away.

“Cesca!” Teresa chastised as soon as they were out of earshot.

“I was just trying to take the pressure off of Elena,” Francesca said innocently, taking a sip of her mojito.

“You were trying to stir up trouble,” Lucía said as the baby began to fuss. 

“Well someone has to keep things fun around here!”

“Mom! Mom! Mom!” Marco and Diego ran toward them, kicking up dirt as they skidded to a stop by the table and interrupted the conversation. 

“Mom can I have another cookie?” Marco asked.

“I want a drink but Carolina said I can’t have a soda, but can I?” Diego asked.

“And Tía Teresa, Gabriel wants to know, can he get his Switch out of the car now, because he said you said he could get it later and now it’s later,” Marco spoke up on behalf of his cousin.

“Okay, hold on, everybody take a breath,” Teresa said.

The group momentarily broke up as everyone went to tend to their children’s needs and make sure they had eaten something besides cookies and chips. 

“So, are you ready to run back to New York yet?” Carlos asked when they were the only two left at the table.

“I think I’m holding my own all right,” T.K. said. “You were right about Francesca though. She’s…something.”

Carlos rolled his eyes. “Believe it or not that actually was her being on her better behavior. I swear you’d never know she was working on a masters in biochemistry.”

“She’s fun,” T.K. said. “And she and Adriana clearly have the most dirt on Carlitos.”

“Maybe we should leave now,” Carlos said with a groan. “They’ll keep at it as long as you’ll listen.”

“I like it,” T.K. said, taking a sip of his mineral water. “It’s fun seeing you like this. Baby brother Carlos is a whole new side of you.”

Carlos blushed a little bit. “The way they’d talk you’d think we were all still kids.”

“It’s sweet. They adore you.”

“I—”

Carlos was interrupted by Valentina, Teresa and Javier’s youngest, who came running over, crying so hard she was hiccuping instead of breathing. “Tío Carlos!”

“Valentina, qué pasó?” Carlos asked worriedly, gathering her into his arms and sitting her on his lap.

“Marco me dijo que no podía jugar pelota con él,” she sobbed, her little heart so clearly broken over her cousin’s refusal to let her play ball with him.

"Lo siento, Valen. That's not very nice." Carlos hugged her close and kissed her hair. "Pero no le hagas caso. What if we get you a cookie, will that help?”

She shook her head, lip stuck out in an adorable pout, fresh tears threatening to spill over.

“Two cookies?”

She held up three little fingers and Carlos opened his eyes wide in mock surprise. “Tres?! Ay Dios mío.” He shook his head. “Come with me, pero no le digas a mamá.”

He slid Valentina off his lap and offered her his hand, which she grabbed onto eagerly. He looked at T.K. “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time,” T.K. said, watching them walk over to one of the tables. 

Carlos pointed to several different options, Valentina shaking her head at each one until he found the kind of cookie she liked best.

T.K. felt a presence next to him and turned to find Francesca had returned. She had a strange look on her face. “You know he’s never brought anyone home before. Not like this.”

T.K.’s breath caught in his chest. “I didn’t know that.”

“He’s happy,” Francesca said. “Happier than I’ve seen him in a long time.” She turned and looked at him. “You make him happy.”

“I do my best,” T.K. said. “He makes me happy too.”

“Yeah.” She looked at her brother again, adding some fruit to Valentina’s plate. “He wants kids. You know that right?”

“I do,” T.K. said. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re good with that?”

T.K. looked at his boyfriend who was tenderly wiping the last of the tears from Valentina’s cheeks. They had talked about it of course. A few times. In passing. He knew where Carlos stood. And he knew that he wasn’t sure what kind of dad he would be, but also that he would do anything to make Carlos happy; including facing his own fears about being a father. “He’ll be a great dad,” was his answer.

She squinted at him, then squared her shoulders. “I’m only going to say this once and if you ever tell anyone I will deny it and shove your balls so far up your ass you won’t know how to get them out again. Carlos is special. And I know you’re all city boy, New York, squeaky clean, firefighter paramedic, or whatever.”

“But if I hurt him you’ll kill me?” T.K. asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No,” she looked at him like he was crazy. “Teresa will. She’s like his second mom. She’ll take you down so fast you’ll never even see it coming.”

T.K. laughed. “I have no intention of ever breaking his heart. I promise.”

“Good,” she said. “That’s good.” She cocked her head the way Carlos did when he was about to say something he knew was funny. “You’re pretty great for a stripper.”

“Okay, one more time. Not that there is anything wrong with sex work, but I have never been, and have no intention of being, a stripper,” T.K. said firmly.

“That’s what they all say!” she tossed over her shoulder as she got to her feet and flounced away to find Adriana. 

“What was my sister telling you?” Carlos asked as he returned, Valentina now seated happily with some other cousins at a kid sized picnic table. “Oh god, was she talking about the time I got arrested for skinny dipping in the lake because there is so much more to that story than the way she tells it.”

“No,” T.K. said, raising his eyebrows, “but now I want to hear the rest of that. No she was just…being a good big sister. You’re lucky to have so many people watching out for you.”

Carlos softened, his hand seeking T.K.’s. “And now I have you too.”

T.K. squeezed gently. “Yes, you do.”

                                       XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

All in all the day was going well. T.K. had handled every nosy question, every argument, every weird thing his sisters or relatives did with his usual charm and self-confidence. He fit in. 

All Carlos had really wanted was for T.K. to like his family, but seeing them like him right back…it was doing strange things to his heart. He hadn’t known until this moment how much it meant to gain his family’s approval of his relationship. He’d convinced himself that he was fine either way, and he probably would have been. But seeing them all joke and talk and laugh together was beyond his wildest dreams. And it was making him think some pretty crazy things about the future.

They’d chatted some more with his siblings and a few other family members who’d stopped by the table. But now Lucía had gone to put the baby down for a nap, and Teresa and Elena had been pressed into kitchen duty with his mother, while the men of the group had been enticed inside by a game on TV. Which left only Adriana and Francesca at the table. 

“So, T.K., now that the boring adults are gone, tell us everything,” Francesca said, a sneaky smile on her face.

“Ooh yes,” Adriana said, getting comfortable on the picnic bench. “Tell us all your dirty secrets T.K. You lived in New York so do you actually work for the mob? And how hard was it for you to learn to put gas in a car at such an advanced age?”

“Unfortunately no mob connections, although that probably pays better than firefighting or being a paramedic,” T.K. said with a laugh. “And the learning curve on driving was actually pretty quick. We have to fuel the engines, even in New York.”

“Well that’s boring,” Francesca said as she picked up a tamale. “Come on, you have to be more exciting than that. Any secret lovers you’re keeping back there on the side?”

“Cesca!” Carlos said sharply.

“I’m watching out for you!” Francesca cried. “I mean if you two have an open relationship or something that’s your business, but if he—”

“No,” T.K. said quickly. He looked at Carlos. “There’s no one in New York. Or anywhere else.”

Adriana and Francesca both wrinkled their noses, but Carlos hardly noticed, too busy looking at T.K. who was gazing at him with so much tenderness and love. He was taking it all in stride, the insanity, the prying. Questions that might have set him off a year or two ago he now brushed off like it was no big deal.

“Ugh, come on!” Adriana said. “There has to be something. You basically grew up on the set of Gossip Girl. You have to know at least one Kardashian or something.”

“Yes, how many private helicopter rides have there been?” Francesca asked eagerly. “Or penthouse ragers? You have to have been to a penthouse rager of someone famous!”

T.K. shook his head. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Adriana pouted. “So boring. Not one secret?”

“Oh, I have secrets,” T.K. said with a grin. He laced his hand through Carlos’. “But only Carlos gets to know them.”

“You play dirty, Strand,” Francesca told him with an approving smile. 

Carlos had had enough. “Come on,” he said, pulling T.K. to his feet and away from the women without a backward glance or apology. 

“Where are we going?” T.K. asked and Carlos wished the answer was a dark corner somewhere that he could kiss his boyfriend’s face off and show him how much he appreciated his efforts today. But that would not be happening anywhere on the premises. Francesca and Adriana could sniff out a couple having a quickie from a mile away. They’d caught Teresa and Javier in a Sunday School classroom during Elena and Elías’ wedding and had never let them forget it. Although Bianca had been born nine months later so apparently getting caught hadn’t been too much of a turn off. He definitely wasn’t risking it though. 

He pulled T.K. over to the patio where the music had cranked up to an all time high now that his cousin Rafael had arrived and was playing DJ.

“Okay,” T.K. said, looking nervous all over again. “You know I can’t really dance right? That first night at the bar, that was all just to get in your pants, you know that right?”

“What?” Carlos feigned surprise and then rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know. And considering that you managed to get into my pants about half an hour later, I’d say it worked pretty well.”

“Not the point Carlos.”

“I’ve seen you dance. You’re fine,” Carlos told him.

“Yes in the club!” T.K. told him, eyes wide as he took in the way some of Carlos’ relatives were dancing around them. “This is like something out of Grease! Did you all rehearse this before you got here?”

“Look, Justin’s dancing.” Carlos nodded to where Lucí had managed to get a moment free from her children and pulled her husband onto the impromptu dance floor. 

“Justin’s been in your family for five years. He’s had practice.”

“You’re just going to follow my lead,” Carlos told him confidently as he pulled T.K. close. “Relax.”

“I can’t relax. Your Tía Maria looks like she’s about to come over here and remind us to leave room for the Holy Spirit,” T.K. hissed.

“Like I said earlier, I don’t care what Tía Maria thinks. I haven’t for a long time. I just want to dance with you.” He cocked his head and turned on his most charming smile, eyes pleading a little bit.

T.K. rolled his eyes and groaned. “You know I can’t say no to that face.”

“Exactly,” Carlos allowed himself a full on smirk.

He put one hand on T.K.’s shoulder, the other on his hip and gave a comforting little squeeze. “And now you just follow my lead.”

He took a half a step forward, slowly, not following the music at all, encouraging T.K. to step back with his opposite foot. They managed fine for about three beats until T.K. stepped wrong and they stumbled over one another’s feet. “Sorry,” he said, face going slightly pink. “I told you.”

“You’re tense,” Carlos said. “You can’t dance when you’re tense. Relax. It’s all in the hips.”

“I’m from New York. I barely have hips at all, let alone beautiful, sexy, latin caderas like yours.”

Carlos laughed and bumped up against T.K. with said caderas. “You like my caderas?”

“You know I love your hips and normally I wouldn’t complain about anything you do with them, but everyone is staring at us.”

“They are not.” Carlos took a quick glance around the area and found that indeed, many of his relatives were staring, and he could read wedding bells going off in their eyes. “Okay they are but that’s because they’re nosy, not because of your dancing. Don’t worry about them. Focus on me.”

“Just don’t blame me if I break your toes,” T.K. said nervously.

“I think I’ll survive,” Carlos told him. “I’ve never seen you like this before. I like it.”

“Like what?”

“Completely off your game,” Carlos told him. “You never approach anything with less than one hundred percent confidence and charm.”

“Well I only do things I’m one hundred percent confident in,” T.K. said. “That way I never have to look like I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Ahhh, now it all makes sense,” Carlos said with a laugh.

The music changed and Carlos shifted so that they were closer together, one hand entwined with T.K.’s, the other on his lower back. “So. Tell me the truth. How glad are you that your dad didn’t come today?”

T.K. laughed. “Oh god so glad. You know how he is. He and your sisters would have spent the entire day trying to one up each other on embarrassing stories about us. And he might have won.”

“Oh I doubt that. We’ve got about two more hours until my sisters bring up the bathtub incident.”

T.K.’s eyes widened. “The bathtub incident?”

“Let’s just say it was very expensive and mostly Francesca’s fault.”

“You know, your sisters seem to take a lot of the blame in these stories even though you have a starring role in all of them. I’m starting to wonder who’s really telling the truth here.”

“Shh,” Carlos said, pulling him a little closer. “I’m a cop. I’m very trustworthy.”

“Uh huh.” T.K. looked amused.

“Hey, guess what?”

“What?”

Carlos leaned forward so his lips were touching T.K.’s ear. “You’re dancing.”

And indeed he was, their bodies swaying back and forth, T.K. following all of Carlos’ movements without any trouble. T.K. opened his mouth to respond but he was interrupted by the reappearance of Adriana. “I take it back,” she said, causing them both to pause their movement.

“Take what back?” Carlos asked in confusion.

“There’s no way he’s a stripper. Not with dance moves like that. Yikes.”

“I don’t know whether to be relieved or insulted,” T.K. said.

“Good,” she said, giving him a mischievous wink. “I like to keep people guessing. Now step aside gringo and let us show you how it’s done.”

She grabbed Carlos’ hand and before he could protest she’d pulled him out to the center of the dance floor, yelling at Rafael to put on something they could really move to. Rafael smoothly transitioned into a song Carlos recognized and Adriana grinned as she began to salsa, clearly expecting him to partner her. He rolled his eyes, but obliged, catching her around the waist and moving back and forth in time with her.

“We approve,” she said as he spun her back and forth.

“Of my dancing?” Carlos asked.

“No, of T.K.,” she said with a smile. “We really like him. Me and all your sisters.”

It should not have warmed his soul so much to hear the words, but it did anyway. “Good,” Carlos said. “Is that why you pulled me out here? To tell me you like him?”

“No, I pulled you out here so he could check out your ass while you dance,” she said, looking over his shoulder, her grin widening. “Which he totally is by the way.”

“Adriana, shut up,” Carlos said, but he smiled anyway and dipped her, really letting loose as the music hit the chorus. Because apparently he was not above showing off for his boyfriend.

By the time the song ended he was sweating and breathless and so was Adriana. “You’ve still got it cousin,” she said. “Now go on. Go over there and take a victory lap with your boyfriend and his puppy dog eyes.”

Carlos looked over to find T.K. looking suitably impressed at the edge of the patio. Carlos shook his head, a blush rising to his cheeks as he walked over. “Well someone’s been holding out on me,” T.K. said when Carlos got close.

“It’s just dancing,” Carlos said.

“Just dancing? Carlos that looked like…I don’t even know, but it was freaking amazing!” T.K. said, his eyes wide. “I didn’t know you could dance like that. Why are you over here dancing with me?”

Carlos rolled his eyes and pulled T.K. close to him. “Trust me, Adriana might be a state champion in Salsa, but I prefer dancing with you any day.”

“She’s a state champion?” T.K. asked in surprise.

“Yep,” Carlos said, pulling him back onto the dance floor. “Three years in a row.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, Adriana is good at pretty much anything she decides to be good at. It’s a little ridiculous.”

“That doesn’t explain where your dance moves came from,” T.K. said, looking expectant.

“I um,” Carlos thought for a half second about lying before he decided to give in and tell the truth. “I may have partnered her for a few years.”

“How long is a few?”

Carlos sighed and squeezed his eyes closed. “Like fourth through seventh grade.”

T.K.’s jaw dropped. He pointed a finger at Carlos’ chest. “I can’t believe you’ve never told me that!”

“Well it’s not like it’s relevant to everyday conversation! When would it have ever come up?”

“I don’t know!” T.K. shook his head. “What made you stop?”

Carlos shrugged. “I’m good, but I’m not championship level good. And I was getting into baseball. And Adriana is…really difficult to work with.”

“Carlos! T.K.!” They both turned to find a very welcome presence interrupting their conversation.

“Tía Luci,” Carlos said, pulling back from T.K. so he could give her a hug. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”

“Well you know I had a date querido. T.K. mi amor! It’s so good to see you!” The many bracelets she was wearing jangled loudly as she hugged T.K. with equal fervor. 

T.K. had been to several Sunday dinners at this point and Tía Luci had accepted him exactly the way Carlos hoped she would, with nothing less than complete and total love. She’d always encouraged Carlos to be exactly who he was and love whoever he desired. It helped of course that she’d had four husbands of her own and was currently single and dating with astonishing frequency.

“It’s good to see you too Tía Luci,” T.K. said with a smile.

“I thought mom said you had a pottery class,” Carlos said.

“I had a date at pottery class,” she said and then leaned closer. “And the clay wasn’t the only thing that got handled, if you catch my meaning.”

Carlos’ cheeks burned as T.K. laughed. His aunt was a free spirit and that meant she was pretty free with most things. Including her sex life. And while Carlos didn’t judge, he definitely didn’t always need all the…details she provided.

“Oh don’t look so scandalized,” she admonished, squeezing his arm. “It’s not like you’re a saint either, sobrino. With a boyfriend like this you must get up to all kinds of nonsense. And if you’re not you should start. You’re only young once!” Someone caught her attention and she waved. “I must go see Alejandro, but you two have fun dancing.”

“How about we run away to New York together?” Carlos asked as she floated away.

“You love her,” T.K. said knowingly.

“I do. But I don’t need to know every detail of her dating life. And no matter how many times I tell her that she doesn’t quite seem to get the message.”

“Seems like Francesca and Adriana come by it honestly,” T.K. said. “Oversharing runs in the gene pool.”

“Yes along with nosiness, a strong desire to meddle, and a life long obsession with the Astros,” Carlos said with a roll of his eyes.

“And yet somehow you have none of those qualities,” T.K. said, raising his eyebrows in a way that suggested he was being sarcastic.

“Me?” Carlos said. “What are you talking about? I don’t do any of those things.”

“Maybe not so overtly. But when you found out Mateo’s house had blown up, you organized all those donations to help out him and his roommates.”

“Because it was the right thing to do!”

“Of course it was. But it was also meddling. Kind meddling. But meddling. And we’ve talked about the cow eyes.”

“What do the cow eyes have to do with anything?” Carlos asked, slightly annoyed.

“When you want to know something that I don’t want to share, you waste no time turning them on. And you know that neither I, nor anyone else can resist. Nosiness.”

“That’s not nosy! It’s…digging for information.”

“Information your chosen suspect may or may not want to share. The suspect being me. Admit it Carlos. You’re more like your family than you’d like to believe.”

“I—“ Carlos struggled to come up with a reply. “I don’t like that you’re siding with my sisters. That was not the point of bringing you here. You’re supposed to back me up.”

“Oh I will never speak to your sisters about this,” T.K. told him. “I’ve got your back. I just want you to know that I know.”

Carlos opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a small body hurtling into his legs so hard he almost fell over. “Tío Carlos!” Marco practically yelled. “You said you would come in an hour. It’s been more than an hour. Will you pleeeeeeeeeeeease come throw the ball with me? You promised!”

Carlos looked a T.K. who smiled and nodded toward Marco. “Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not sure I want to leave you alone with my sisters after what you just said. I’m scared about what other things they might put into your head.”

T.K. laughed and gave him a little push. “Go. I’ll try not to be swayed further to their side.”

“You heard him! Go! Go!” Marco pushed Carlos from behind over toward the grassy area past the picnic tables.

“Marco, Marco, relax,” Carlos said, breaking away from his nephew’s aggressive pushing. 

“I waited all day,” Marco told him with a glare.

“And you’re going to wait longer if you’re not polite,” Carlos told him.

Marco looked only slightly chastened. “Sorry.”

“Mhmm.” Carlos tried not to roll his eyes. “Do you have a ball and a glove?”

“Yes!” Marco ran ahead and grabbed them off a picnic table. “Here. This one’s yours. Abuelo got it out of the garage for me.”

Sure enough it was Carlos’ high school mitt. It was beyond worn out, but it would do for a quick round of catch before he rescued his boyfriend from the clutches of whichever sister had decided to grill him next. 

“Okay you go over there and I’ll go over here,” Marco said excitedly, running several yards away, ball clutched in his hand.

His first throw took Carlos by surprise. “Whoa! You’re getting really good at that,” Carlos said as he tossed it back.

“Dad says I might make the travel team this year,” Marco said excitedly as he delivered another throw that made Carlos’ palm sting.

“Yeah I think you’ve got a good shot at it,” Carlos told him. “How’s your fast ball?”

“So good! But I have to work on my curve ball. It doesn’t always go the right way.”

“Ah, I’ve got a trick for that. Let me show you.”

It didn’t take long for all of Carlos’ nieces and nephews to realize he had left the adult table and was available for fun. After he finished with Marco, a game of tag was requested by his other nephews. Then Bianca and Elena wanted to show him the crafts they’d been working on and make him a friendship bracelet which he immediately put around his wrist. 

Nearly an hour had gone by and Carlos began to look around for his boyfriend, feeling guilty for having left him alone for so long. But just as he began making his way back to the picnic tables, Carolina found him and wanted to tell him all about a school project she’d finished recently.

One minute he was chatting with her about orca whales and the next something was colliding with his skull, hard and fast. He felt his head snap to the side, fingers automatically going to touch the spot directly behind his ear.

Carolina had frozen her eyes wide. “Tío Carlos? Estás bien?” she asked tentatively.

The world seemed to tilt and he sank down slowly onto a picnic bench, fingers fumbling against the weathered wood as he tried to aim successfully and not miss and fall to the ground instead. “Sorry!” Marco called, running over. 

Oh. The baseball. That’s what had hit him. That explained the extreme throbbing that had started and why he could already feel a knot growing at the site of impact.

“You hit Tío Carlos right in the head!” Carolina scolded.

“I didn’t mean to!” Marco protested back. “I just threw it, that’s all! I was working on my curveball! It wasn’t my fault!”

“It’s nobody’s fault,” Carlos said calmly, even though his vision was starting to blur at the corners. “It was an accident.”

“See? It’s fine!” Marco told her. 

“I’m telling Mom!”

“No you’re not!”

The two continued to squabble and Carlos closed his eyes as their raised voices cut through his skull like a knife. “Carolina,” he interrupted finally. “Can you go find T.K. for me? Tell him I need to ask him something.”

“Yeah.” She narrowed her eyes at Marco. “I’m still telling mom,” she hissed, causing him to take off after her as she ran away.

Carlos swallowed against the sudden queasiness in his stomach. He was regretting the number of tamales he’d eaten now.

The sunlight was really starting to hammer into his skull so he closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing through his nose, trying to keep his stomach from becoming violent. A hand on his knee startled him. “Carlos?” T.K.’s voice was quiet and concerned. 

Carlos opened his eyes and found his boyfriend or rather, several blurry versions of his boyfriend, looking up at him. “Hey,” he said quietly. Even talking seemed to hurt his rattled brain.

“Are you okay? Carolina said something about a baseball.”

“It was an accident,” Carlos said. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Okay,” T.K. said slowly, clearly trying to gauge the situation and read between the lines of what his boyfriend wasn’t telling him. “Where did it hit you?”

Carlos took another slow breath in through his nose as his stomach clenched. “Behind my ear.”

“Which side, this side?” T.K. asked, lifting a hand and gently probing at Carlos’s skull.

His fingers found the knot almost immediately and even though his touch was gentle it sent a stab of pain shooting through Carlos and his stomach lurched. He jerked away, unsuccessful in suppressing a tight lipped moan.

“Okay, hey I need you to talk to me, all right?” T.K. said, his voice going serious as his fingers instinctively sought the pulse point on Carlos’ wrist. “How bad is your pain?”

Carlos had had concussions before; you couldn’t play varsity baseball without the occasional injury. This was ten times worse than he remembered. “Like a seven?” His voice was shaky and opening his mouth at all felt like a huge risk given the discontent happening in his stomach. “And there are about four of you right now.”

“Did you lose consciousness?”

“No.”

“Can you tell me your name?”

Carlos squinted at him. “Are you really asking me that?”

“Answer please,” T.K. said, eyes serious.

“Carlos Nicolás Reyes Moreno.”

“And where are we?” 

“My parents’ ranch.”

“Good. And what’s your badge number?”

Carlos opened his mouth and found his mind strangely blank. “I—”

“You can’t remember?” T.K. asked.

“I—no.” He felt panic start to well up in his throat. “T.K…”

“It’s okay,” T.K. said calmly, gently cupping the non-injured side of his face. “You’re going to be all right. But we need to go to the hospital, okay?”

“Oh god,” Carlos groaned partly from pain and queasiness and partly from panic. “Any chance we can sneak out of here without telling my family?”

“Oh, babe, I think that ship has sailed,” T.K. said sympathetically.

“Carlitos? What happened?” Andrea approached at a rapid pace, the Reyes sisters flanking her along with Adriana, Tía Maria, and Tía Luci. He was sure his father wasn’t far behind.

Even as pain clawed at the inside of his skull Carlos tried to assuage their fears. “I’m fine, just a little accident,” he managed.

“Carolina said Marco hit you in the head,” Elena said worriedly. 

“Head injuries are very serious,” Tía Luci told them. “I once dated a tennis player who got a concussion.”

“He got hit with a tennis ball?” Elena asked.

“No, we got a little overly enthusiastic in the bedroom. No half assed sex from that one!”

Carlos heard Tía Maria start muttering a prayer.

“Andrea! What’s going on? Is he all right?” Predictably Gabriel had caught up with the group, a large grill spatula still in his hand.

“Let’s just give him a little room to breathe,” T.K. said calmly, holding up a hand to keep them from coming in closer to smother him with concern. “Francesca if you could go get me some ice and a towel please.”

She disappeared in an instant toward the back of the house.

“Should we call an ambulance?” Teresa asked.

“I am fine,” Carlos insisted again, squeezing his eyes closed as another wave of nausea and dizziness swept over him. He would be. As soon as he was away from his coddling family and in his bed at home.

“Carlitos you be quiet and listen to your boyfriend. He is a professional,” Andrea scolded, worry coloring the sharpness of her tone.

“Yes, T.K., what does he need?” Gabriel asked.

“We’re going to get some ice on here and go from there,” T.K. said. “I don’t think an ambulance is necessary at this point.”

Francesca returned with ice and a towel. “Thank you,” T.K. said, wrapping the ice up tightly and then ever so gently pressing it against Carlos’ head.

He hissed in pain, knuckles gripping the edge of the picnic bench so hard he felt splinters of wood begin to dig into his fingertips. “I’m sorry,” T.K. murmured sympathetically. “We need to try and get the swelling down.”

“It’s okay,” Carlos said through gritted teeth. He hadn’t thought it was possible for his head to hurt more, but the added coldness of the ice was proving to be too much and he felt the tight hold he had on his composure starting to slip. He wanted to leave, he wanted to lie down and sleep, he wanted T.K. to hold him while he cried like a baby because everything hurt like a motherfucker and he was embarrassed as hell about it. 

His family was still carrying on around him, he could hear them asking questions and making plans, but all he focused on was T.K.’s free hand, the one that wasn’t pressing ice to his skull. That hand was resting comfortingly on his knee, thumb moving slowly back and forth. Thank god T.K. was here to mitigate the chaos.

He didn’t realize he was starting to drift away until T.K.’s hand squeezed his knee more tightly and then moved up to his shoulder, keeping him upright. “Hey, hey, no, don’t go to sleep,” he said urgently.

Right. Sleep was not a good idea. Carlos forced his eyes open and tried to focus on his boyfriend’s worried face, but it swam in front of him and made his stomach churn. “T.K…”

“I’ve got you,” T.K. said firmly. He turned and looked up at Andrea and Gabriel who had come to hover a little closer. “We need to get him to the hospital.”

“I’ll drive you,” Andrea said immediately.

“You’re entertaining all these guests mi amor,” Gabriel said. “You stay, I’ll take the boys.”

“We’re all coming,” Lucía said immediately.

Carlos felt his heart rate quicken at the thought of his entire family standing around in the hospital waiting room and the kind of chaos that would cause. He didn’t need to worry though. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” T.K. said quickly. “There’s no reason to believe this is anything more serious than a concussion. It will be quick, not worth everyone coming out.”

“I will update you the entire time,” Gabriel promised.

“Text messages every five minutes,” Andrea ordered.

“Can you stand?” T.K. asked and Carlos nodded his affirmative, immediately regretting the motion when the throbbing in his skull increased.

T.K. took his arm and Carlos got up on wobbly legs. He made it about two steps before his knees began to give out and he felt his father grab his other arm. “Steady mijo,” Gabriel said.

It seemed like an eternity before they passed through the house and into the front driveway. Out of sight of his family Carlos felt the last of his control slip away. The blood drained from his face and he gagged. 

“Whoa!” T.K. said, quickly lowering him to the ground as he began to heave out the contents of his stomach onto the concrete.

By the time it was over Carlos’ pain had ratcheted up to somewhere in the nines and he heard himself letting out a pathetic whimper as his brain exploded inside of his skull. “Easy Carlitos, easy,” his father said, the words barely registering as he and T.K. lifted Carlos back onto his feet and basically carried him the rest of the way to his dad’s truck.

He ended up with his head in T.K.’s lap, his boyfriend continuing to hold ice against his head with one hand, while the other ran soothingly up and down his arm. “Stay awake for me, all right?” he said.

“Trying,” Carlos said, his voice sounding cracked and broken. Mostly he was trying to breathe because he really didn’t want to throw up again. Every bump in the road, every touch of the breaks, sent pain ricocheting through his head. “It really hurts.”

“I know, I’m so sorry. We’re almost there,” T.K. said softly. “You’re all right, keep breathing, okay?”

Gabriel pulled directly up to the ER doors and he and T.K. helped Carlos into a wheelchair. If he’d been in any less pain he would have found the entire thing humiliating, but every bit of his energy was currently being spent on staying awake and not vomiting all over the floor.

“I’ll park the car and meet you inside,” Gabriel said as T.K. pushed him through the doors.

The next few hours were a hellish blur. They ran a battery of tests including an MRI and a CT scan, asked him dozens of questions, all of which he was able to answer thank god.

Despite his best efforts, he threw up twice more, T.K. holding a basin in front of his face each time, then rubbing his back comfortingly as he curled into a ball, knives stabbing through his head after such violent movement.

He hated being reduced to a shaking, moaning mess, especially in front of his father, but there was no help for it. The pain was only growing worse and there was no relief in sight, not until the tests came back.

“Breathe,” T.K. said, running a thumb back and forth over Carlos’ hand. “Carlos you have to breathe and try to relax.”

“I can’t.” The words came out on a whimper. “It hurts.”

“Carlitos, you have to try,” his dad said, sounding beyond concerned. “The more tense you are the worse it will feel.”

Tears slid down his cheeks as the pounding in his head beat on relentlessly. It had been hours and there was never any relief to the waves of pain, just a constant throbbing, knifelike agony. He squeezed his eyes shut and curled in on himself, ragged, stuttering breaths tearing from his chest.

“I’m going to go find the nurse,” Gabriel said. “My wife and daughters might be better at nagging, but I’m sure I’ve picked up a thing or two.”

He disappeared out the door and the next thing Carlos knew the bed was shifting as T.K. climbed in with him, wrapping his arms tightly around Carlos’ body. “What are you doing?” Carlos choked out.

“Taking care of you,” he said, his lips by Carlos’ ear. “You’re okay. I’ve got you. Breathe. Just a little bit longer and we’ll get you some medication. I promise.”

T.K.’s fingers stroked up and down his arm and he continued to murmur soothing words into Carlos’ ear. Carlos felt his muscles slowly begin to unclench one at a time. The agony in his skull began to ease, just enough that he could breathe easier and think a little more clearly.

His dad must have given someone a piece of his mind because within fifteen minutes the doctor had returned. “Okay, Mr. Reyes we are looking at a grade two concussion here. All your scans came back clear so while painful, your recovery should be pretty easy.”

“No brain bleed?” T.K. asked.

“No. No brain bleed, no skull fracture.”

He could see T.K. and his father sag in relief. They were both putting on a good front, trying to be strong for him, but in that moment the worry in the room finally lifted off like a cloud, dissipating into calm.

“We’re going to keep you for a little bit, start you on some strong Tylenol to help manage the pain. I’ll come check on you in an hour okay?”

It was another two hours before they were finally able to go home, Gabriel dropping them off with promises to bring Carlos’ car over in the morning.

He was more steady on his feet now and the medication had helped both his headache and the nausea, so with T.K.’s help he was able to manage the stairs without too much difficulty.

T.K. sat him on the bed and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. “I can do it,” Carlos said, but his boyfriend gave him a stern look and continued. 

This behavior persisted until Carlos was settled in bed, an extra pillow behind his head, a glass of water on the nightstand along with additional Tylenol. “Better?” T.K. asked as Carlos leaned back against the pillows with a sigh.

“Yeah,” Carlos told him. The lights were dim, causing his splitting headache to dull to a throbbing one instead. 

He heard his phone buzz for the thousandth time in the last few hours. “Do you want to see who that is?”

He couldn’t look at the screen without feeling like someone had stabbed a knife through his eyes. Hopefully that would pass quickly. It was only a grade two concussion and most of his pain was coming from the actual injury itself, not his brain rattling around in his skull.

T.K. punched in Carlos’ passcode and then scrolled through. “You have forty seven unread texts. Most of them are from your sisters. A few from your mom and aunts. And one reminding you to vote next week.”

Carlos groaned. “You’d think I was dying. This isn’t even as bad as the time Elías flipped the four wheeler over while we were on vacation. He broke his leg in two places and had to have surgery and nobody was all over him.”

“Oh, the texts aren’t about you,” T.K. said, eyes lighting up with mirth.

Carlos squinted at him. “I’m confused then.”

T.K. cleared his throat. “You listen to T.K. and do what he says. That one is from Teresa.” He scrolled a little further. “Congratulations on picking someone who’s not a dick. He actually comes in handy, that’s Adriana.” He snorted. “And this one from Francesca just says, ‘Remember not to fuck again until your brain is better.’”

“You know, Tía Maria campaigned pretty hard to send her to a convent when she was a teenager. Some days I think we should have let her,” Carlos said.

“The rest are variations on how great I am and how you need to eat a lot of soup and get a lot of rest. And I have a text from your mom.”

Carlos cracked one eye to look at him. “Are you going to share?”

“Mm…I’m not sure you can handle this one.”

T.K. was grinning from ear to ear, clearly beyond proud of himself and delighted to have information Carlos didn’t. 

“T.K. just read it. I can see that smug look on your face.”

He cleared his throat. “T.K. thank you for taking care of our Carlitos. You are such a blessing to our family.” T.K. grinned. “They like me.”

“Of course they like you.”

“They really like me.”

“Yes, T.K. My family loves you. Just like I always knew they would.”

“Well I appreciate that. But you really didn’t have to get hit in the head with a baseball just so I could endear them to me with my paramedic skills.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Marco,” Carlos said. “He’s the one with an arm like a Major League baseball player.”

“Yeah he can really throw huh?” T.K. said, brushing a gentle hand through Carlo’s curls, careful to avoid the area the ball had struck. “How’s your pain?”

“Tolerable,” Carlos said. 

“And the nausea?”

“Better,” Carlos said. 

“Good.” T.K. seemed relieved. “Listen, next time you want to get out of a family activity, you can just tell me. You don’t need to give yourself a grade two concussion. Just say the word and I will fake an emergency and get us out of there.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t fake an emergency after hour one,” Carlos said. “Thank you for today. You getting along with my family it…” Tears threatened to close his throat and he forced them back because he really wanted T.K. to know what he was feeling. “It means everything.”

“They’re easy to get along with,” T.K. said. “And we have a lot in common.”

“Oh?”

“We all love you.”

[chaeiimimi]

06 𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂 𝓟𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓬!

Synopsis: Sakusa Kiyoomi, a young ravishing man, an athlete for the Japanese volleyball team and comes from a very prominent family around Japan. He was perfect, looks, wealth and fame. But you can’t have everything in life, can you? Sakusa, the germophobic athlete, suddenly wakes up one day and sees a baby boy in a basket in front of his door step, in the basket was a letter, a letter from his past lover, saying that the child was his. The panic look on the spiker’s face was almost comical, knowing that his life would turn into a complete 360, that day was his first time ever to miss a volleyball practice and to call Komori to ask for a babysitter. You.

Notice: the only thing I own is the plot, the art and the characters aren't mine and they all belong to their respective owners.

Safe to say you didn’t get as much sleep as you hoped that night

“eh?” you were shocked, you didn’t expect him to do it so soon

“yeah, they work from home tomorrow, we should pay them a visit”

“we?” you were flabbergasted, you? You’re meeting the elite and respected Sakusa Family?

“yeah, do you have any problems with that?” yes, a lot

“n-no sir”

So now you left a note on the kitchen counter saying you are going to the market to get some ingredients for the dish you were going to cook for Sakusa’s parents

Since you were young, your parents always taught you that you cannot visit a home empty handed, it was proper courtesy and showed respect and appreciation for having you in their home.

You strolled along the market looking at fresh produce, you opted for seafood, since it’s healthier for older people

A huge salmon caught your eyes and miso-zuke salmon immediately popped in your head, you looked at your watch, it was only five in the morning, you can let it marinate for how many hours and grill it for 30 minutes, which will be enough time to bring it for lunch

You bought it from the vendor who was very kind and even gave you a discount, after that you went to a bakery supplies to get some carrot décor and some ingredients to make icing, you were planning to make a cake less sweet so Sakusa’s parents can eat as well

With that, you head home

You saw Sakusa seating by the coffee table, sipping coffee and reviewing the forms you filled out

“good morning sir” you say as you take the things you bought to the kitchen

“we really don’t need to bring them anything you know” he says as, eyes still not leaving the papers

“I know, but my parents always tell me to not visit anyone’s house empty-handed, it’s a sign of courtesy”

He just nodded and said “suit yourself”

You begin making the marinade, thankfully the fish vendor was kind enough to slice the salmon up for you

About half way through you heard Kaito’s cry and you were about to wipe your hands to get to him when Sakusa stood up

“I got him, continue your work”

You nodded and did exactly that, it took fifteen minutes to make the marinade, you soaked the salmon in it , coverd it, and put in inside the freezer

Sakusa went out with a calm Kaito, he sat in the coffee table , his son carefully cradled in his one arm as his other hand held the forms he hasn’t reviewed yet

Looks like he got the hang of carrying Kaito you said inside your head as you smiled to yourself

You slowly mixed the ingredients together not noticing that Sakusa was now behind you

“what are you doing?” you flinched , surprised by your boss sudden speaking

“I’m making a cake sir” you said holding your chest

It wasn’t clear, heck if you didn’t spend your three months with him you wouldn’t have noticed the small smile grazing his lips

And you regret noticing because you were now flustered

You cleared your throat

“where’s Kaito?” you asked, focusing your attention back to your task

“he’s sleeping” he answered

Your mouth formed into an ‘o’

“is it normal for babies to sleep so much” he asked, his voice genuinely concern

You chuckled  “apparently, it is sir, sleep is actually healthy for baby, aside from them having small stomach and get full easily, their tiredness can also be the cause of a growth spurt or developmental leap” you say in as-a-matter-of-fact tone

He nods as he watches you pour the mixture to a cake mold, which he didn’t even know he had

“does your parents like cake sir?” you asked as you put the dough into the oven

“my mom eats it occasionally, my dad is a sucker for it, we try to make him cut it out for a bit, it’s bad for his health”

You nod, Sakusa has been a bit talkative since your talk last night

“in that case, I’ll make the buttercream frosting less sweet” you say as you washed your hands to prepare to make the frosting

Sakusa watched you as you make the frosting, a lot of thoughts inside his head

“is she doing this to impress my parents?”

“why would she want to impress my parents?”

“does she likes-“

Sakusa shook his head profusely muttering small no’s you were just nice and polite, yea, that’s it

He cleared his throat and went to the coffee table, he finished reviewing the forms you filled out and all of them were perfect, he opened his desktop and began with his work at the company again

The timer went off and it was time to take the cake out of the oven

Kaito was awake and mindlessly babbling in his crib while Sakusa watched replays of some volleyball games

You set the cake on a cooling rack to let it cool down for a while

You decided to clean the house while waiting for the cake to cool down

you wiped some shelves, throw out the trash and vacuumed, by the time you were finished cleaning , the cake was already cool, you begin frosting it, putting crushed nuts at the side of the cake and decorating the top of the cake with candy carrots and some edible decorative leaves, you slowly put it in the fridge

you sighed

“you need to rest” Sakusa says as he gets himself some water

You looked at the time and it was already 10

You shook your head “I just need to grill the salmon sir” and so you did grill the tuna for thirty minutes, gave Kaito a bath for twenty minutes, showered and changed yourself into a simple sundress

By the time you were done packing everything it was already 11:30

You and Sakusa made your way to his car, Kaito was in his baby seat and his father placed him on the back seat, you were about to seat beside Kaito when he cleared his throat

“won’t I look like a personal driver if the both of you sat there?”

You immediately got up and sat at the shotgun seat

The ride was quiet, it was a comfortable silence though, Kaito’s occasional babbles while you were still amazed by the rich neighborhood and Sakusa’s eyes are focused on the road

You arrived at his paren’ts place in fifteen minutes and you could hear the voices of people from afar

You entered the house-no, this was a freaking castle, it was huge, there was a guard, some gardeners and maids

Sakusa parked his car, you got out, he carried Kaito’s baby seat which had a handle while you carried the cake and the salmon-sizu

You walked to the backyard where you saw some children, you recognize some of them as Sakusa’s older siblings’ children, they looked like they were having an outdoor barbecue by their pool-side

Sakusa cleared his throat

They all stopped dead in their tracks eyes wide open

Sakusa glared at them “geez you guys don’t need to act like you saw a ghost”

“well what do you expect you barely visit us here?!” you assumed that it was his brother you spoke

His mother and father looked at you, and you felt very small

“woah and you- you- holy crap your married?!”

And with just one sentence there was a fiasco

“Uncle Kiyoomi is married? We have a new aunt?” a kid who was about nine said and rushed towards new but his sisters were already all up on you

“woah when did you guys get married?”

“when did you meet?”

“what company does your family own?”

“your dress looks so good?”

“do you like chanel?”

You were overwhelmed and couldn’t talk

Your boss sighed “she’s not my wife, she’s my son’s nanny and househelper”

They stopped on their tracks, as you stood there and smiled awkwardly

“but you’re too pretty to be a nanny!”

One of his nieces explained

“you have a son?!” Sakusa’s brother exclaimed

“I know right” Sakusa says nonchalantly

Sakusa was a calm compared to his very lively family

“you impregnated your househelper?” Sakusa’s father asked confused

Your eyes widened and you shook your head profusely

“it’s Nami’s” Sakusa sighed and handed his parents a letter, his brother and two sisters stood beside their parents to read the letter as well

They were dumbfounded when they finished reading, you can’t blame them, you had the same reaction when you first read that letter as well

“what a cruel woman…” Sakusa’s mother says, it seems like she was the first one to recover

Sakusa looked at his son who was looking up at him while sucking on his pacifier

“I don’t need her to raise my son” Sakusa says sternly, his family members looked at him

Sakusa took Kaito in his arms “everyone, this is Sakusa Kaito, my son” he says while Kaito babbles and cracked a toothless smile

There was a moment of silence

When...

 “Oh my lord! what a handsome baby!” Sakusa’s mother gushed and approached Sakusa and took Kaito from him

“holy hell bro he looks just like you!” his brother also says, as he pinch Kaito’s cheeks

“I want him to model for my baby line AAAHHHHH” his sister, which you assumed to be Aiko Sakusa a famous fashion designer

Sakusa Kairo the eldest among the siblings, a pilot and owns an airlines company

Akemi, the third child, a famous architect, she owns an architectural firm

And Sakusa Kiyoomi the youngest, Athlete-Entrepreneur manages a chain of hotels and restaurants

And of course Sakusa Arisa and Sakusa Katashi, the founder of Sakusa Empire

These people are one of the most influential family in japan, yet when you looked at them they look quite normal

Sakusa looked kind of distant, but you could see the softness in his features as he stares at his son being cradled and passed around by his family members

You did notice that his father was emotionlessly staring at the scene

“Kiyoomi you haven’t introduce your “helper” to us yet” Akemi says teasingly

Sakusa shook his head

“this is Y/N she’s Komori’s friend , she helps around my house and takes care of Kaito” he says as stood beside you

The whole family except for Komori’s dad looked at you with almost teary eyes

“thank you for dealing with our ill-mannered kiyoomi” his mother says

“You’re too pretty to be a nanny though, if you ever consider modeling come to me” Aiko says as she held both of your hands

You bowed to them politely “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir Kiyoomi is a good boss to me” you said, feeling all stiff and awkward

“chill out Y/N-san we don’t bite” Kairo chuckled

You nodded awkwardly, Sakusa nudged you and pointed at the items you were holding

“oh, we bought you some salmon-sizu and carrot cake, I hope you like it” you said as you showed them the things you bought

“Y/N-chan I love you already” Akemi says as she took the carrot cake from you and led you to the table

 In no time the family were all eating and having fun, you had Kaito in your arms and was feeding him

“Y/n dear, this salmon and cake are so delicious, where did you buy them?”

You quickly realized that your boss’ mother was a sweet lady

“oh, I made them ma’am, my mother is a baker, it’s her recipe, I tweaked it a bit for it to make it less quick, my father is a fish broker, he told me that salmon is a healthy fish to serve” you smiled at her

“Y/N-chan you’re too kind, I hope my brother isn’t being a jerk to you” Aiko says as she eats cake

You chuckled at them

“Y/N-chan, how is our Kiyoomi?” Akemi asked

“Sir Sakusa is doing fine I think, he’s just a bit tired from volleyball and the company, he also makes time for Kaito whenever he can, he’s still a little bit confuse and clumsy”

Kairo, Akemi, Aiko and Mrs. Sakusa nodded together

“Y/N-chan do you like Kiyoomi?” Aiko asked which made you flustered

“I-I- yes-yes b-but- as a boss- I like him as a person-like a boss-“

“geez no need to get flustered now, we were only asking” Kairo said as he chuckled

“we don’t mind if you like him though, we’ll be delighted to have you here” Akemi says and smiled at you

You were now as red as a tomato

After the conversation, you were left with Kaito, he was now wide awake and you were playing with him

Only then did you noticed Sakusa’s father staring at you two

You cleared your throat, you got up, carrying Kaito, you cleaned up the plates near Sakusa’s father

Kaito pointed at his grandfather

You quietly approached the man

“sir, do you want to hold him?”  you asked

He looks up at you, you smiled at him and slowly sat Kaito on his lap

He looks at Kaito emotionlessly, when Kaito smiled at him and babbles “babababa!”

For the first time today, you saw a soft smile made its way to Sakusa’s father’s face

“he looks just like him” the elderly man mumbles

“I can see that sir” you smiled softly at them, slowly taking out your phone and quietly took a picture of the scene, not knowing that some of the eyes of the family were on you

 “she’s a good woman” Sakusa’s mother says to his son

“she is” Kiyoomi says as he stares at you, having a small conversation with his father, it’s very rare for him to communicate or interact with people other than business matters, but he doesn’t seem to have any trouble conversing with you

“do you like her Kiyo?” his mother asks teasingly

“mom, no” Kiyoomi sighs and takes a sip of his lemonade

Although his parents were mostly absent during his childhood, him and his siblings maintained a close relationship with them, and both his mother and father always made time for them on the weekends

A lot of people assumed that they were like the rich family from dramas, the tension and stuff but it was far from that, they were pretty normal, and chaotic at times

 “Your salmon-sizu was very good” your boss’ dad says as you took Kaito from him, the baby has already fallen asleep

“thank you sir, it was my dad’s recipe, he says it’s good for your health” you smiled as you cradled Kaito

He smiled and got up from his seat to join the rest of his family, you laid Kaito on his baby seat and wiped the sweat off his forehead

 The rest of the day were spent with you helping the maids with grilling, but Aiko quickly swooped in and wanted you to join the party, so there you were surrounded by your boss’ nieces and nephews

“you’re not uncle Kiyo’s girlfriend?” Arata, who was around seven years old asked you, he was Kairo’s son

You chuckled and shook your head

“but I want you to be my aunt, aunt y/n” Chizu who was Aiko’s daughter, said with pleading eyes

You just chuckled at them and diverted their attention to something else, you told them stories your parents and sister used to tell you when you were young, their eyes sparkled with fascination, even Mika and Eichi who were both teenagers were interested in your stories as well that they tore their eyes off of their phone screens

Later in the night you guys played uno, you taught them the basics, these kids didn’t know anything about games outside their phones

You couldn’t really relate to the adult’s conversation since they were talking about businesses so you hang out with the kids, and you were loving every moment of it, despite being born from rich families, they were really nice and humble, Eichi was very similar to his grandfather and his Uncle KIyoomi but he was polite nonetheless

It was finally time to leave, the kids were tired and the same to the adults

“come visit us soon aunt y/n” Mira says sleepily she was Akemi’s only child

You smiled at them and waved

“you better come back Y/N-chan we want another one of your carrot cake” Aiko says as you bowed to them

“dear, if ever Kiyo fires you, you are free to apply at our house” says Kiyoomi’s mother says as you leave

Your boss sighs as you finally entered his car

“they really like you” he mumbles

“I guess they do?” you chuckled

“hey y/n, thank you”

You tilt your head in confusion “for what sir?”

“just, thank you”

Taglist: @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @seashellmichellee @tetsuhoes @akaashislovelywife  @strawberryzos  @kuroohoeee @underratedmage @popping-cherries @uwu-iwanttodie @wonhyuksstuff @  @knmsapplepi    @stormcastello @si-m-p

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

[kamabukokompachiro]

Dirty Thoughts:

Bakugo x Reader ( Gender Neutral)

1412 Words

Author words : It’s my first time writting and English is not my mother tongue so please be indulgent with me ! If you have any suggestions on how I could do a better work I’ll gladly take them ! Ho another thing "🍑" is us the reader with no specific gender and I think that’s all, enjoy bye bye !

He really thought he was discrete about it. Checking you out while you were talking with your friend group.

Starting with your legs, your thighs then he would say it but your ass too,

Never initiating eye contact with you he would advert his eyes every time you start to talk to him, only glaring at you when you tried to make jokes. He likes you heck he does but being the Katsuki we know him to be hell never tell anyone about that, not wanting to be considered a simp or anything stupid like that.

As usual while begging with the Bakusquad his eyes would advert to you and once again started checking you out without your knowledge of course but hey careful he is watching ? But respectfully of course, he is kinda a gentleman after all. Mama didn’t raise a bad boy.

🛑: “And then i- bakubro you are staring ” Kirishima started

⚡️: “Like always~ ” it was Denki turn

💥: “ The fuck I’m not ! Why would I ? ”

👽:”You kinda are, you know Bakugo if you find them that attractive why won’t you tell them? Do you want me to do it ? “ Now it was Mina who playfully asked knowing perfectly what the angry blond réponse would be.

💥: “I told you I fucking don’t check them out! Why would I go and talk with them? Fucking extra….”

📦: “Yeah….if you continue like that they would probably think you hate them or something.”

👽: “They actually does, we kinda are friends and they told me about how this mister over there was hating them.”

💥: “I’m not! ! “ Bakugo shouted a little bit louder that he ented, gaining the scared looks of his classmate, your being one of them.

🛑: “Chill bro ! That’s what it looks like ! You know they’ll never love you that way right? Be careful, they are pretty popular, I heard this Shinsou in 1B came often to talk to them, I think he will ask them out soon…”

💥: “What? That Shinsou kid? Who’s not even in 1A? Why the fuck would they go out with him? Having low standar like that tch”

⚡️: “I think he is pretty cool!”

👽: “And cute!”

💥: “If you don’t shut up right now I’ll blow your asses up !”

⚡️: “Oops looks like Aizawa sense I just came, time for torture to start, try to stay concentrated baku~ku~gooooo”

💥: “The fuck do you mean?”

🛑👽⚡️📦: “Haha”

😪: For this assignment you’ll be working by pairs. I already made the groups you can’t change, the project is due in one week until then you will not have any other homework so put your all into it, you and your partner will practically live together from now on on for a week, that’s all class dismiss

Of course the pairs were wrote on the board and of course who do you think bakugo had been paired with ?

Mhh...hey..bakugo..San…

Why the fuck are you talking to me like I’m some fucking old man? Two bad words in the same sentence?

Classy bakugo classy

I’m sorry I ...u…

wait are you stuttering ? Okay he wouldn’t admit it but that? That is so freaking cute.

He could die right on the spot, why do you look like that? All uhhg he couldn’t quite point it but that is something that made him stares at with longer than he intended.

🍑: “Bakugo go San...bakugo San?”

💥: “What”

🍑: “You are..staring…”

💥: “I’m not ! And stop calling me that !”

🍑: “Yessir !”

💥: “Hun?”

🍑: “Sorry that was a joke… so hull for the project it’s friday today so the dorms are closed I would like to go in my house but my parents are inviting a lot a family this weekend so we pourrait pas concentrate sorry BUT we can go to the library if you want maybe ?”

💥: “No.”

🍑: “Hun? Why not ?”

💥: “To much people, all the extras are gonna be there, give me your phone

S-sure!

Here, I texted you my address, tomorrow ten don’t be late !”

🍑: “Yes! See you tomorrow… and he is gone … well ! At least he didn’t kill me”.

This night let’s say that Bakugo didn’t really sleep, try to understand him please, a young boy in this age and shape ? You? How crush was coming tomorrow and you’ll be staying in is house, in his room where his bed was? He watched enough adult movies to know what could happen and let’s say that the thought of you wearing only…well nothing was enough for him to lose all track of sleep.

While our angry boy was fighting his dirty thought you too couldn’t sleep but not for the same reasons. While he was excited you were scared I mean he didn’t like you right? He could scream at you, worst even, could he punch you?? You really hope not. And that’s how you two spent your first weekend Night, basically thinking about each other.

10.00 that’s exactly the hour you rang at Katsuki houses door.

🍑: “Hello Madame Bakugo I’m listener nice to meet you !”

👩‍🦳💥: “How you must be Katsuki’s classmate enter please ! Waaa you really are cute aren’t you ?”

🍑: “N-no I’m really not but thanks you, you too are really pretty mam!”

💥: “Oi! At least you are not late, come here let’s get to my room.”

🍑: “Sure! See you mam!”

👩‍🦳💥: “I’ll go get you some snacks !”

🍑: “Thank you very much !”

You two walked together to his room, installed yourselves and started to work.

After a few hours of hard work :

🍑” Bakugo… Bakugo…….BAKUGO!”

💥:“What??”

🍑: “I finished, and you are staring...again…”

💥: “I already told you I’m not, let me see!”

🍑: “ Soooo, is it good enough ?”

💥: “Not too bad, well that concludes today’s work.”

🍑“Yeah! ... I’m so tired …”

💥: “…. Lay down…”

🍑: “ What did you say? 👁👄👁”

💥: “I said lay down if you want... I’ll get you to the train’s station after.”

🍑: “On the floor??? 👀👀”

💥: “On the bed ! You are stupid aren’t you ??”

🍑: “W-w-w-what ? No I cannot I- ?!”

💥: “I will not touch you WTF! You said you were tired didn’t you??”

🍑: “... I did...ok but...are you going to lay with me…?”

💥: “I’m tired too ! I made almost all the work!”

🍑: “No you didn’t !”

You then proceed to lay on the bed with Katsuki.

Not gonna lie, your heart was kinda racing at the moment, Katsuki’s one probably too, but he wouldn’t ever admit it !

Fuck why are you facing him?? He tough you will look at the wall or somewhere else that way he could have spied on you in all discretion.

🍑: “Bakugo..?”

💥: “Yeah?”

🍑: “Do you hate me?”

💥: “….no.”

🍑: “Then why ...why you look at me like that? Everyday at school you always look at me, even when you think I can’t see you…”

💥: “...I wasn’t really discreet about it hun…”

🍑: “No haha”

💥: “You pretty”

🍑: “What??”

💥: “You heard me now go to sleep!”

🍑: “I cannot,not after that wtf bakugo ??”

💥: “Shhht I’m tired !”

🍑: “But ?”

💥: “Shhht…. Oi..”

🍑: “I thought I should sleep?”

💥: “Fuck it! Can I...touch you ?”

🍑: “Where??”

💥: “Your face…”

🍑: “Weird…”

💥: “Yes or no dumbass?”

🍑: “Haha go for it ! But...be nice please…”

💥: “Yeah...close your eyes.”

You then Proceed to do it slowly, you shut your eyes waiting for anything from bakugo. You feel him shift and then something on your cheek, his hand you suppose. After a little while something softer again were on your lips. He was kiss’ing you and that wasn’t a dream, he really was kissing you holy fuck !

🍑: “Katsuki…”

💥: “Fuck, don’t ever call me Bakugo again go it ?”

🍑: “Yeah…”

💥: “Promised ?”

🍑: “Promise.”

💥: “Good, now let’s get the fuck to sleep!”

🍑: “Haha yeah sure, did you set up the alarm ?”

💥: “Of course! Who you take Me for ?”

That’s weird, today Katsuki was soft, the complet opposition of how he is at school. Maybe he was in a good mood because you worked well today or maybe that was just for you. Anyway Too much question too little answer but all you wanted right now was to stay in his arms and freaking sleep!

If you want the audio version of it here’s the link to my YouTube Chanel for a more immersive experience : Bakugo has dirty thoughts about you | BNHA ASMR| Bakugo x Listener https://youtu.be/h5lu-3bNrks

[purplerose244]

Irrational - Chapter 1: The first star in the morning

​Hello everyone!! The @spacecampweek is finally here!! 😍

I cannot wait to see all the content for these two math dorks! Here is my contribution, a collection of oneshots including all the prompts, starting with the first, “Stars”! ✨

Enjoy!! 💙💙

Summary: Seamus was going to smack that idiot of his best friend right in the head for putting him into this situation. A private moment with his little crush, sure, what a marvelous plan of his! There was only one thing he didn’t take into account: this space nerd’s absolutely terrible flirting techniques.

Read it on the AO3

“… have I… have I told you about that time I went for the tryouts of the basketball team?” Seamus huffed with superiority, mostly for the sake of breathing out some air on this overly hot day. “I’m sure you can tell, I’m a pretty athletic person. The only reason I didn’t join was because I needed to keep up my grades or whatever, school is a total pain.” He smirked towards his right. “Maybe I can bring you to the gym sometimes, teach you how to make three-pointers? I’m sure you’d like that.” His overly confident tone fell into oblivion, as silent kept prevailing. He could feel the sweat going down his neck, behind the high collar of his black jacket.

Good lord, he was wearing a leather jacket. A freaking. Leather. Jacket. When he thought this day couldn’t get any more awkward.

“Four.” Seamus jumped over his seat.

“Huh?”

“Four times.” At last, the Cantaloupian had finally raised his eyes from his phone, showing him the most annoyed look he had ever seen on a human being. “You have mentioned this casket sport of yours at least four times tonight. Merely to answer your question.” Without much of a nod or an impressed look, his pretty nose went back to the lightened-up screen. Never mind, this day had all the chances to get plenty of more awkward.

He was losing him. Oh gosh, he was totally blowing it.

This made no sense! Sure he and Tight Jeans Hank had gone out only a few times before he got head over heels for Mary, but he was totally into the three-pointer thing! Sure, making up an excuse after that on why they never actually went to the gym had been a little draining, a little shameful, but at least there was that! He wasn’t completely out of his game.

… was he? Quick, another one! Huh, what did work out with that one guy from math class before he discovered he liked astronomy better?

“Huh, uhm… you know one time we got Mrs. Janeth so mad I was called into the principal’s office, but I got out without a single problem! You didn’t expect me to be this much of a bad boy, didn’t you? Yeah, this math student is good with numbers as a cover, my call is… being… mischievous…” Oh the cringe. It was going to be all worth it if he got at least a change from the guy sitting at the passenger’s seat. “Heh, people still wonder how I did it.” He grinned towards him, wiggling his eyebrows. “I could tell you, but it has to be… our secret.” Wow. He was channeling his interior Steve. The only difference was that that knucklehead at least was actually good at sports and actually good at getting into troubles.

Heck, even Pepperjack was more of a rebel!

Ah. Silence. Not even the Cantaloupian checking his phone was making any noise.

“Uh-huh.” His eyes were still all over the screen. He didn’t even bother to give him a look this time. “Would not be much of a secret in that case, now would it.”

The blonde was starting to think there was some kind of massive secret stored into that device. His eyes fell on it. Nope, this guy was literally tapping onto apps and exiting them without doing anything. Seamus almost laugh at the awfulness of all, wondering if it was too late running out in the woods and hope his allergy was going to kill him sooner or later. Then he stumbled with his memory to Spring Fling, the date he got – that had spent most of the night making out with someone else in the bathroom, but still.

Alright, confident. An intriguing, intimidating guy, one Krel might wanna know better.

“W-well, the best part of having secrets is sharing it with others! Saying, see this bruise I have?” He pointed at his temple, panicking for a second to remember where it was. His mind went right, and he really hope he wasn’t just pointing at his cheek like an idiot. “I got into this massive fight after class, it was insane! I won’t bore you with details, the usual argument with those bozos from our rival school, but if you think this dent is bad you should see the other guys! Pretty cool huh?”

Silence again.

A sigh. It held together such an annoyed power it left him baffled for a second. Krel was narrowing his eyes so much they looked closed.

“Forgive me, I am still trying to master the art of sarcasm, so I will have to warn you beforehand: I am about to use it.” He cleared his voice. “Wow, that is impressive and totally not an idiotic behavior, thank you very much for telling me.” He made a very forced, very exaggerated smile, before dropping it while still looking at him and then going back at losing time on the phone.

More death wishes filled him. Seamus grimaced, sneezed, and checked if the windows were actually closed while grunting under his breath. He breathed through his nose, hands gripping the wheel simply to have something to do.

It was official. This was the worst first non-date of history, and it was all his fault.

… or Steve’s. Yeah, Steve’s fault sounded better.

The ground of the woods was most likely all over the wheels of dad’s car which was going to drive him mad once again, the occasional sniff of pollen into the air had been making his eyes tear up even since they got here – the windows were actually closed, how, stupid allergy –, and he was stuck there ruining all the chances he never had in the first place. Yes, it made so much more sense blaming that good for nothing jock. The only reason Seamus was there in the first place was because his Vespa was out of service – he had said something something creeper walking on the crosswalk, he had stopped listening at some point –, and he had promised his girlfriend to go back to the kissing tree as soon as the situation was calmer or whatever. Seamus, being the good friend he was – especially since Logan was grounded –, had joined in to give them a lift and wait in the car for the two lovebirds to have their mushy moments, feeling extremely single in the process.

When he had seen Aja and Steve getting out of the Tarron’s residence, Seamus had waved.

When he had seen coming along as well none other than Krel Tarron, he had briefly considered pushing onto the accelerator and leaving everyone and everything into the dust. His body had not complied – the traitor. The happy couple had positioned themselves in the back seats, with Aja saying her little brother had decided not to be a recluse for tonight, while the Cantaloupian genius had comfortably seated himself next to him, giving a smile.

A smile.

How dare he? A smile!?

It was Steve’s fault, it definitely was. There was no way Krel would have come out of his own will, it was notorious he despised social gatherings with intellectually inferior people – mood – and hated nature even more – bigger mood. His sister had never been able to convince him before, he knew that because Steve had made it a habit narrating his escapades with Aja after every single date, and it had always started with “We left the buttsnack home and…”. The first time Seamus offered a ride home to the two of them, and magically the little crush he had only confided to Steve and Logan – and Mary but Mary was gossip queen so that didn’t count – had decided to tag along with them. Suspicious, very suspicious.

So, there they were. They had been stuck into his car for an hour at least now, waiting to check if Aja and Steve planned on staying here for longer or eventually head back. Seamus really hoped for the second. He had no idea how the tension had raised up to this point, nothing was working! Krel was barely acknowledging him, and he was starting to wonder why he decided to join in in the first place. Maybe he lost a bet with Steve or something, that would have explained it.

… it did explain it. He was here against his will, with him, having the worst time of his life. Seamus pressed his lips together, the silence weighting onto his stomach. Maybe he could ask something else? What more anecdotes did he have left? The full score at Alex, getting kicked out of Sam’s…

… why was he feeling worse?

His phone vibrated right there. He had no doubt who was disturbing and judging by the sudden vibration from Krel’s phone the other half of the couple was sending similar messages.

THEPalchuk: Hey man

THEPalchuk: Me and Aja are staying around more

THEPalchuk: Pick us up in one hour?

THEPalchuk: Thanks you’re the best!

Great, like he wasn’t currently questioning his flirting skills as much as his entire persona. What was left in his repertoire? Nothing was helping so far, maybe he needed another approach. What choice did he have though? His stories were usually somehow effective, being like Steve didn’t seem better, Mary just so happened to have guys always in line for her for whatever reason, what else could he…

“Johnson?” He held back another jump, because Krel was finally looking at him and it was progress and- “Would it be too much bother if I asked you to bring me back home?”

Oh. Oh.

In his head played the game over soundtrack from GoGo Sushi. Dang it. He wished he had more time to prepare for this day, but right now it felt like it was inevitable. He definitely did something, said something weird. Was there even a possibility in the first place? With someone like him? He had met Krel Tarron in between classes on a completely random day: the guy had completely destroyed Mrs. Janeth’s theory about triangles without breaking a sweat, had broken into the science lab apparently making a mess of the only functioning computer, and had gotten sent to the principal at the end of the day as a result, without getting into troubles afterwards. This guy had managed to be an absolute nonconformist and a shameless rebel… using math.

Yeah, he was on another level, there was no point. He was so going to scream at Steve on organizing this, it was meant to go bad. Worst of all, it didn’t feel like he could get over it anytime soon. Maybe because it was something that didn’t even start.

He started the car, holding back a sigh.

“No problem, right away.” Krel gave him a mild grateful smile, and Seamus felt the urge to cry.

The trip back was somehow even more awkward than the hour spent waiting. Not necessarily for the deadly silence still permeating the car, mostly for the amount of thoughts that were running wildly into his head. What now? He didn’t even know if the Cantaloupian had noticed his attempts at flirting, did he reject him or was he simply so bored he couldn’t take it anymore? Did it matter? The natural consequence was to stay as far away as possible and ignore his entire existence during high school, then get into the furthest college possible – Australia sounded good – and forget about finding love forever. Sure Krel was in most of his classes, and that guy was most likely going to be an Elite student with him and Claire, which meant they were going to be paired up for some stupid vanity event of the school; also he happened to be his best friend’s girlfriend’s brother, so no way it was the last he was ever going to see him, but he could deal with it.

He could… deal with it…

… he didn’t want to, though. He didn’t want to stop talking to him or stop wishing to talk to him. That guy was in sync with his friends, he was so smart it was unbelievable, he was fun to be around and even right now that the embarrassment was at its peak, Seamus couldn’t help noticing how pretty he was, somehow even in the act of ignoring his existence. In light of all of this, was this really the only way to go? It always was with the other guys…

There was a stop ahead. He respected it, lightly biting his lip. No, with all the others he never made contact after failure because he never cared for it, because they weren’t good people, and because he didn’t want to admit how much he had made up for the sake of one terrible date. He could reach a compromise, right? To be able to talk with him. Nothing in between, only the truth.

His very dorky, uncool truth.

He continued to drive, pondering over everything, only to notice a parking spot next to the crosswalk. He went, noticing the other’s weird look on him. He hurried to speak before he could.

“I’ve never been at the tryouts.” Krel fully turned to him, eyes widened.

“… what?” Seamus winced, rubbing his neck.

“The basketball thing? I never did it. I wanted to, I’m really not bad at it… but I didn’t finish homework for that day and my dad didn’t let me.” Ah, there it came, the absolute shame – gently provided by Mr. Johnson, trademark. “The grades stuff, that’s kinda the excuse I always use whenever someone ask me why I’m not in the team. It’s not exactly a lie, but it’s better than saying I have no freedom at all.” The Cantaloupian looked baffled. The blonde took it as a chance to keep going. “As for the principal call, you wanna actually know the secret? I was never in trouble in the first place, Mrs. Janeth wanted to personally congratulate for making it into the International Mathematical Olympiad. I didn’t want people to think I was lame.” Gosh it burned. It felt kinda nice but it was also awful. He sighed at the end, pointing at his temple. “And about this? The fight? As if, I tripped on my way to the planetarium… because I love space… and there people don’t make fun of me for it.” Oh. He didn’t mean that last one, he didn’t want it to hurt. It still did. Not even Steve or Logan knew why he had been keeping his passion lowkey only for close friends.

It was good… it was good, right? It was as genuine as he could get, because despite everything he still wanted to be able to look at him in the eyes without second guessing himself. He was a lame-o who could barely do anything without his dad’s approval, he was an absolute nerd who was good at math only because he had to, and he was a dork with an absolute passion for space that got him so much mockery in the past, before he started to mock back.

A leaf flew over the windshield of the car. He could feel his sweat turning into ice. Was it too late after all? He lost his chance with Krel even at being a friend? He could feel his eyes on him.

It was silence. Then, a long sigh of relief came from him.

“Oh thank Seklos, I was convinced you were being serious before.”

… huh?

“Huh?” He looked at him. Krel was smiling. He was… smiling? “Before?”

“You were turning into an even bigger oaf than Steve is, which is quite the accomplishment let me tell you.” He looked down, finally putting away his phone. Despite wishing for it the entire time, Seamus felt a wave of anxiety rushing over. “I knew for a fact that I was going to be in your company during the entire time, given that the Staja is a force too chaotic to be around without risking someone’s life.” Despite the tension the blonde snorted. The Cantaloupian seemed to like that. “I was even looking forward to it. I’ve always wondered about the sleeping guy from class.”

Holy. Freaking. Mole.

Seamus was agape, he was pretty sure his jaw was dislocated without repair. He wasn’t sure if this was actually happening, or the last sniff of pollen had put him into a state of hallucination – he didn’t mind trading an anaphylactic shock for this. He managed to breathe again after a while, trying to remember how to speak words.

“Wait- You- I… you were watching me too?” Ah, why the too, why did he have to admit of staring at him while trying to stay awake during class? Why was he such a-

Wow. Wow. Was that embarrassment?

Coming from the prideful Krel Tarron?

“I was… mildly checking.” Okay, this was definitely a coma-induced dream, no way he was that lucky – and could this guy stop looking this adorably shy, he needed his heart to come back to life. “You always raise your hand when Mrs. Janeth asks something, even before the question has been said. You seem to be constantly bored during the lesson, which I can completely understand. You seem to be one of the few people who can at least dream to measure up with me in regard of intellect.” Mm, maybe this was actually real, somehow that came out extremely irritating and incredibly endearing at the same time. “I was interested into knowing that person tonight… I have not seen him for now.” His eyes went down, a little bitterly.

He was going to care about that in a moment. First, his mind needed to compute. What was happening here? Were Steve and Logan into this? Were they following him with a black car from afar ready to scare the crap out of him as soon as he was going to believe that a guy this cool actually wanted to know the real him?

… jeez, he really needed to work onto his self-esteem.

Besides, it was Krel, the frankest person he had ever met. There was no way he was pretending, he was so sure it almost scared him.

Apparently, this was happening, this was a meeting of some sort. One that for now, he had been screwing up big time. He was trying so hard to be liked, trying the best that had worked before, but did it work really? He had never actually been in a relationship, every single guy had evaporated as soon as they had found something better to do than hang out with this weird space nerd. Instead, Krel was waiting. Krel was there to actually know about that part of him.

The real him.

“… are you really in a hurry to come back home?” He got a confused stare. But if he really had something close to a chance, he was fine with making it interesting. “In case not… could I arrange a meeting?” He forced a very nervous smile. “Between you and him?”

Krel looked at him in surprise.

Then he smiled. He smiled.

“Alright, one more chance. Make it count, Johnson.”

His father would have not liked how fast he was driving, even while making sure to respect all signs – he wasn’t that reckless, even if the idea of bothering his old man was tempting. It wasn’t a long trip anyway, he knew the way by heart at this point. Arcadia soon got less lived around them and started to raise up, into a road leading higher and higher while surrounded by those dang trees. His passenger was looking out of the window, clearly curious but without asking a single thing. Seamus didn’t mind it. Maybe he just wanted to appreciate the moment for now, having him intrigued by the situation, before something went wrong again.

No. No. No more screwing everything, not this time. He could make this work.

The planetarium was there almost too soon, as he had only started to notice the eyes of the Cantaloupian occasionally drifting from the glass to him, equally intense. He placed the car into a completely empty parking lot, got out and breathed in. At least here there was way less vegetation, he could almost take a full breath without coughing. He quickly went over Krel’s side, opening the door for him and offering his hand.

He got a weird look in return, a little smile and a tan hand into his. Seamus really didn’t want this to be the first and last time.

“Have you ever been at Arcadia’s planetarium?”

“I am familiar, not a frequent visitor though. I was here for the Science Fair, and once in the first days since I land- got here.” He stumbled a little and focused on looking around, frowning. “I did not find anything particularly interesting though. Only incorrect.”

“Oh, if you’re up for a conversation about mistakes made into the planetary system I’m all ears, but let’s get inside first. I’m bringing you somewhere special.” He walked towards the building, aiming for the back of it, hoping that the occasional cat had decided to do its stuff somewhere else, at least for tonight. Only halfway there it hit him that their hands were still united. He was actually holding his hand. The realization made his body tremble. “Huh, I…” He looked over his shoulder, trying to think how to ask someone if it was okay to hold hands while already doing it in order not to make him go away – why was his brain always this convoluted?

Krel blinked at him, with those pretty brown eyes of his. There was such a control into those irises, smarts and brilliance but not only. It was the kind of look that had seen much, stuff he probably couldn’t even understand. There was simply something that made him want to know more about him.

He clenched his hold. Seamus could feel his heart doing backflips.

“What is it?” This mischievous genius smirked. Absolutely aware. What a day was this day.

“… nothing.” Seamus grinned back, starting to accept that from now on everything was going to be absolutely mind-blowing. “I have been here so many times, and if I know something is that the employees here are… really bad at their job.” He eyed the backdoor. Then the doormat. A freaking doormat, what a cliché. “I swear, one could break in and they would barely notice.” Reluctantly he let go of his hand, slipped it underneath the obvious hiding spot and got the key.

“That is really careless. Although having access to this place could be useful, I did see some interesting components for potential devices last time I was here.”

“Dang, you’re a dangerous one… wait, you’re an inventor?”

“In a way, I’m mostly an engineer.” Total. Heart eyes. “How did you discover this entrance?”

“I used to be a kid who barely had friends, hate with passion staying at my own house and I wished for nothing more than to climb onto a rocket and leave the planet to explore the entire galaxy.” Huh. It used to sound way less edgy when he was younger. “At some point dad discovered that he could leave me here with an adult and he was able to go by his day doing business or whatever without a problem, so I spent a lot of time around here. It gets easier to discover tricks when you’re a kid.” He unlocked the door, bowing at the other. “After you, Mr. Rebel.”

Krel rolled his eyes with a smirk, getting in.

It was as silent and dark as he expected it to be. Also empty, as he expected the nightguard had ditched his job once again – he mentally thanked his careless of tonight. He had been there enough to memorize even the vague noise of the neon, it was echoing into his ears even now that the lights were off. He took out his phone, brightening the way for them to walk. He barely had to think about it, his feet already knew where to step and what poster to pass by, even in complete darkness. His attention was mostly on the guy following him anyway… he was bringing a guy to his special place. He was bringing a guy into his stupidly nerdy corner in this stupidly nerdy place he had adored ever since he was a kid. He was actually doing it.

Wow, Mary would have screamed murder at him for being this uncool. He decided he could deal with her fits later. For now, the projector room.

It pleased him the look of Krel’s face, as it was genuinely the first time he had been there. There were so many seats, the projector was in the middle of the room. It was dark, but the glass dome above them gave a bit of a view over the night sky. Nothing else, absolute simplicity. It was so peaceful here. It made him sigh of relief every single time.

Right now though, it was enough silence to hear his own heartbeats, as the Cantaloupian’s curious eyes went all over the room. He really wanted to be up to his expectations.

“Fascinating.” He looked up to the sky view. “What is the purpose of this place?”

“You’ll see.” Seamus took off that awful jacket of his with a certain satisfaction and put it onto one of the seats. He patted the one next to him. “Give me a moment.” Krel obeyed, taking place, while the blonde went over the controls. He had seen it plenty of times, he had done it as well. Only a few controllers, along with the audio guide. “Get ready for the show!” He hurried to take place where he had left the piece of clothes, deliberately sitting on it – he never wanted to see it again, at least until winder, screw being cool or whatever.

A very familiar excitement took over when the first stars appeared, manifesting the galaxy as a whole. So many points made of light, further than his mind could ever go, yet so reachable in a way his mind couldn’t explain. Soon enough planets came into view as well, Saturn first in all of its beauty, showcasing the rings into the black space.

He took a breath, feeling the familiarity of the place… and something more.

“Space, the ever-present dome of endless wonder,” The audio guide roared through the video, toning it down a little had been a good idea. He remembered when he was a kid, and he had been so conflicted between putting his hands over his ears or risking becoming deaf only for the sake of knowing more about the universe. “And just when you think the universe can’t get any more mysterious…” He knew that explanation by heart at this point.

So he noticed the change nearby. He thought he was imagining it, because it wasn’t the first time the thought had hit him. Then his fingers met others, his heart screamed, and he decided that no dream of his had ever been this vivid.

“I like this place.” Krel was talking softly, close to his ear. It sent a shiver onto his back.

“H-happy to hear.” He let their fingers intertwine, trying to focus less on how everything could end up so horribly and more on how enjoyable everything was. He could live this moment, without thinking of the bad possible outcome. “… you know, the planets got colored like that to appeal the kids I think. The first time I watched it I’ve already studied my kiddie book about planets, and I was so disappointed that they weren’t being accurate.” He snickered, letting his eyes wander on how the celestial corpses were moving in circles. “Thinking that there is so much out there…”

“Yeah… so much.” Krel breathed out. “Galaxies so distant, Earth might never get the chance to reach. Everything is so far from everything here.” His tone had gone down a little, pensive.

The audio guide continued, Seamus was unconsciously moving his mouth along the description that was already stuck into his head. Krel had gone completely silent, even though his warm was still into his. The blonde had no idea what was going on in that impressive brain of his, but whatever it was, he didn’t want to stay away from it.

With his free hand he pointed at the projection, the fragment with all the stars.

“You know, I used to think that space was a little scary. It’s so vast and we humans will probably never live long enough to see it all.” He smiled, remember the stories about the stars his mom used to read for him. “Then I discovered how far stars are, and that from every single planet of the Milky Way the constellations all look the same. It’s like they reach all those places.”

“… what about beyond that?” Krel swallowed, clenching his hold. “What if there are even further planets out there?”

“Well, stars are many lightyears away from here, and one lightyear is 5.8 trillion miles. That’s one heck of a trip.” He got a look that said ‘I knew that’ and laughed, making him smile a little too. “All I’m saying is that, at least for a part of the galaxy, the sky will look the same. And even if we discovered even further away planets where they don’t know about Andromeda or Sagittarius, there will be other stars over there, reaching out for other places, but stars nonetheless.” The projection changed again, coming back to Earth. “As far as one can go, there are still things that feels like home, you know? That’s why, even though it’s terrifying, I kind of can’t wait to know if there’s more out there.” His throat felt lighter. Oh. He had rarely ever been able to say, was this ok-

Oh. Oh. He was wrong, Krel had never smiled before, not this evening, not even a single time. Because this was his real smile, a radiant curve with those lucid eyes, reflecting the light of the projector. He turned to him, and Seamus almost gasped out of the view alone.

Beautiful. Krel Tarron was really beautiful.

“That is a comforting thought.” His voice wasn’t far anymore, it got back some vigor. “So, this is the real you?” Seamus swallowed. Right, it all came down to that.

“I guess so… yeah, pretty much.”

“Good. I like this Seamus much better than the other one.” Okay, calm down. He was simply making a comparison with how jerky he was before. No need to get all riled up by his wording. “Although I am not completely convinced about the situation, perhaps this matter needs to be deepen on another occasion. Perhaps in another place, at another time… with the two of us.” Okay, no calming down, forget all the rationality he was so going to freak out.

It took him a moment. Then, mustering all of his courage at facing the last doubt that he was going to get slapped or laughed at as soon as he turned, he looked at the guy sitting next to him. No laugh. No slap. Not at all.

“Does… does that mean… another date? A-a proper one?” The Cantaloupian’s shrug said maybe, his extremely wide grin said yes. Seamus was too happy to care about the mocking intention. “Huh, uh, uhm.” Answer stupid, answer! “Yes. That is… sure, why not, it sounds good.” He so needed to work on his communication skills, especially since he was about to meet him so much more from now on – holy everything he just got a date out of Krel Tarron didn’t he. “I can pick you up one of these days, we can go to Sam’s or something…” Wow, a diner, such a romantic place for a date. “O-or something else, maybe I should ask Steve about idea- Oh, dang it!”

Krel’s expression fell. Oh, apparently he wasn’t the only one questioning himself.

“What is it? Is it no good?”

“Oh, no way, it’s nothing! I’m happy!” He straightened his back, glad that they were still holding hands despite everything. “It’s just that… urgh, I hate when Steve’s right about something, he gets super unbearable. Now the fact that he arranged the whole thing and it actually worked will be his biggest accomplishment, not looking forward to that.” He could already see the t-shirts ‘I got this buttsnack a date’ with his face on it. With that being said, it seemed almost an overly fair trade, weeks of mockery coming from that guy for a single date with the Cantaloupian.

Who was staring at him with an arched brow, slowly straightening his back with a wince – yeah, his own back wasn’t doing much better, these chairs were pretty uncomfortable.

“What do you mean he arranged this?” How subtle Steve was?… could Steve actually be subtle?

“Well, you know, it’s pretty evident.” Seamus scratched his cheek with his free hand, laughing a little. “He was the one knowing about my… uhm, interest in you.” Nice understatement. Those brown eyes widened. “The day I offer him a lift with my car you come along, there’s not much else to deduce here.” It was weird that someone this observant hadn’t noticed the coincidence.

Krel was smiling, again, and his cheeks were lightly red. It almost stopped his heart. Then he frowned, like another thought had taken over his more pleasant one.

“You think Steve pushed me to come today?” Seamus blinked. That was a weirdly worded question. He simply nodded. “What makes you think that?”

“Please, that guy would do anything to make me in the situation to make an absolute fool of myself! Granted, I didn’t need much of his help at this turn.” Krel was still blinking, looking baffled. “Besides, who else would’ve cared for this? I don’t think your sister knew about me, Logan is out of the picture tonight, and I’d be terrified if Mary actually managed to be involved without… what? What is it?” The guy was staring so intently, it was hard keeping track with that kind of look.

The hold clenched again. Krel was focused on nothing but him.

“I am simply a little taken back. I thought the fact that I came along only when you were there would have given away my intentions.” His inten- Oh. Oh. That syllabus must had shown onto his face because Krel laughed. He laughed and it was beautiful, even though his brain was having a grand hard time at functioning. “Steve simply said you were there to give him a ride, it was a good occasion. A plan of mine at least.” Still not functioning. “Speaking of, perhaps we should let them know we might be a little late at picking them up. I am in no hurry to leave anymore.” Still hardly understanding. “You are perhaps a little less brilliant than you think you are, Seamus Johnson.” Still non computing. Krel stared at him, right into his eyes. “But you are a nicer company than you might believe to be.” He got closer. Not functioning, not computing not-

Cheek, kiss.

Kiss cheek, cheeky kiss, kiss on the cheek with kiss-

Krel was kissing his cheek.

It was warm and soft, and it made his brain absolute short-circuit. Their noses almost brushed when he pulled away, and Krel’s hair moved a little, lightly smelling like metal. He was an inventor, he said. What else? What else was this person was? He really wanted to know, he really wanted to ask. All he could muster right now though was some sort of whimper, that made the Cantaloupian giggle some more, before getting back on his seat while still holding his hand.

The audio guide’s voice was still as powerful as ever, and at the meteor section something into his head woke up. Seamus realized that, once again, he wasn’t hallucinating. He couldn’t reach his warm cheek with his free hand without looking incredibly awkward but it was fine. It was okay, absolutely okay, and he couldn’t stop grinning because of it.

Turned out, it wasn’t Steve’s fault. It was Krel’s fault.

He was more than happy to go along with it.