*Based on current events*
James: *frantically scrubbing dish soap into the front of his shirt*
Regulus: What are you doing?
James: I spilt on my favourite shirt! I have to scrub it before it stains.
Regulus: *eyeing his soapy belly* It never occurred to you to take it off first?
James: Oh. Uh…no?
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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
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It will never stop being funny to me that the Titan's Tower incident between Jason and Tim happened right after fucking Jericho did the exact same thing but was way, WAY scarier about it.
JERICHO repeatedly attacks them, endangers civilians, possesses multiple people, is out of his head with rage and sorrow at feeling expendable and feeling like teen vigilantism was what got him and Donna killed. Hell he even shoots Bart through the leg, which fucks him up so bad he has to go through unanesthetized surgery and that trauma prompts a whole ass character growth spurt! Jericho both while possessing Slade and when they fight him in Raven's mind trap thing is like seriously bad news! He's playing for keeps and intent on really hurting them! It takes a full team effort over multiple comics to trap the guy
Then fucking JASON sneaks in ever so carefully, knocks a few of them out, feels a bit bad about even doing that, and has like a waffle house parking lot fist fight with Tim in a party city Robin costume. And what's he do afterwards? He just fucking leaves and never bothers them again! He doesn't wanna kill any of them! He's just a sad wet sack who doesn't know what he's doing with himself
The Teen Titans really do gather around Timmy after their fight lookin at that wall like, "Fucking seriously?? This is the second time this week!"
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So in love with the Bdubs narrative...
"I stopped trusting Impulse, my secret girlfriend, ages ago because he's flirting with everyone, so it makes sense to side with the guy who's offering me a truce in the form of a clock."
"You can't kick me out of the base just because I'm on my red life. I built this place and I will simply not leave."
/neglects to mention he's still boogeyman when Tango brings him back. Like. why didn't you ride out the boogey curse until next episode and THEN ask to come back, you dummy (affectionate)
"It's fine to kill a teammate because he just set his spawn point in this room and all his stuff will be right here <3"
"Yeah I'll kill my fellow red ally because you promised me a life."
"Impulse, you would never kill me, right?" "... We're soulmates. We share hearts this season... Same team, Bdubs."
"When it was my turn to murder, I targeted the only guy who'd already died (a few minutes ago) because he was already on the way down emotionally; anyone else would have experienced an emotional roller coaster."
"It's okay that I stole from you a while back because NOW I'm coming with useful information. My morality is in the clear."
"I would turn on both my Day 1 allies so fast."
/crying over getting backstabbed, "What have I EVER done to SWEET IMPULSE??"
The entire rest of the episode snarking about how it's no fun to be backstabbed and Tango just "🙃 Thoughts and prayers, that must really suck. it must be the worst to get betrayed by someone you trusted. oh wow. oh man. who would do that? that's awful."
"I'm shooting my mom but it's just a prank."
"I won't defend you from Dad but I might try to stop you two from fighting."
All his allies like "I've just accepted the fact that I can't trust you while Etho's around because you'll betray me for him." / "Yeah, that's fair." They continue to let Bdubs stay in their base. He brags about how Etho lets him play pool in his basement and eat ice cream for breakfast. He would die for this man.
The fact that it's considered predictable that "of course Impulse gave you a clock again" so Cleo just sighs and asks to see it. Yeah of course Impulse clonked Bdubs on the head with that thing for another season, driving home I have not forgotten with every part of his being...
Nobody can trust this greasy little man and yet they adore him. He's just a sweetheart. Cinnamon roll. Everybody's angel. Haha he'll slam a sword through your stomach, loot your body, and walk off. He's never done anything wrong in his life btw.
I love the way Bdubs plays.
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