#just like some of her American counterparts

[antis-hero]

“Lord Weardale, ladies and gentlemen, we have come to address you here today, and to take leave of each other at the end of a long fight. In a sense I may look back upon very little short of half a century, because, when the question first came to be debated I was at Oxford, and taking a rather active part in the organization of women's education at Oxford. It was a subject which them frequently came up. We all had to consider it, and, at that time, there was a great difference between Oxford and Cambridge. Cambridge, on the whole, as you know, led the suffrage cause; Oxford, on the whole, with some exceptions, was on the other side. Then for a long time, as we remember, it was an academic question, coming up in Parliament again and again, but never really having any actuality. Then the last active phase seems to me to have lasted about ten years.

It was when I came back from America in 1908 that this League was started, and that we had those striking first meetings which enabled us to appeal with such great success as we did to the country. For ten years we have kept up the fight, and what might have happened if the war, the great convulsion in which we stand, had gone by without a decision in the matter, I do not think can be quite foretold. But the decision of the Speaker's Conference, carried, as Lord Weardale said, by a small majority, made the thing at once actual; and then there was the wave of gratitude towards the women of the country for the work which they had done, which was very natural, very natural indeed. It might, at a time less fraught with excitement and intensity of feeling, have been met and countered by argument, but at the present time it was, as we all know, too strong to resist.

At the same time a considerable fight was really put up. (Hear hear.) In the House of Lords—I may say that having been entrusted with the chairmanship of the Executive I studied that debate certain things struck me very much, and struck me freshly and newly during the course of that debate. Lord Seiborne, in the course of his remarkable speech, which, I think, did more thany anything else to carry the debate in the House of Lords, Lord Seiborne admitted in the strongest possible way that women were deeply divided on this question. He said that. We had a singular proof of it on the very eve of the House of Lords debate. The suffragists sent a memorial to the House of Lords, signed by between 400 and 500 persons engaged in war work. Some of our friends in the House of Lords sent it to us. We felt it necessary to produce a counter move.

In a very few days, during the Christmas holidays, when the office, except for the devotion of Miss Garland, and one or two of her helpers, was practically closed, we sent out a certain number of letters to friends and Branches, and so forth, and within a fortnight, not four or five hundred, but two thousand women engaged in the war work of this country had sent in their names to the office. (Applause.) They were names of the greatest significance. They were the names of women doing some of the most important war work of the country, as well as of the rank and file. There were V.A.D's, nurses and helpers in the camps and cantonments, who, as we know, are indispensable to the great host.

When I showed this list to Lord Lansdowne and Lord Bryce, they both felt that it was a very remarkable thing, and they both said—and I am afraid I agree with them—that if this had been done some time before, it might have made some substantial difference to the whole result. Yes, women were deeply divided, and we were perfectly right to fight the great fight on behalf of those hundreds and thousands of women throughout the country who would have preferred not to take upon themselves the great responsibility of the vote. But now the great responsibility is there, and, as Lady Jersey so eloquently said, we have to go forward in a different scene and under a different sky. But, above all, we have got to hold over us a flag of womanly stead-fastness, womanly help, womanly service to our country, and not regretting her (applause.)”

From “Mrs. Humphry Ward Led Last Stand in England” from The Woman Patriot, June 1, 1918.

A reprint of Mrs. Mary Augusta Ward’s speech at the last meeting of the Women’s National Anti-Suffrage League. Anti-suffragettes outside of the U.S. aren’t really discussed on my blog because I study American history, but the anti-suffrage (and suffrage) movement in the U.K. was closely watched by Americans on both sides of the question. The American antis notably view the loss in Britain as one that happened because of lobbying, and then late action on the part of British antis.

[shhhsecretsideblog]

Working Late

Had this idea stuck in my head for past few days so had to write it up. Quick little oneshot, 1.6k words. Self inflicted birth denial, clothing birth, voyeurism, but soft fluffy ending. Enjoy.

You were working late again. The sun had set hours ago, the dark evening sky barely visible through the windows, the office an unusually quiet ghost town. Unfortunately the conference call with your American counterparts could not be moved and with the time difference you had to stay late, long after the rest of your company had gone home for the day. Well you weren’t entirely alone this evening; your wife, and joint business owner, also stayed late deciding to finish up some things before she went on maternity leave next week. It made sense to work the same hours and go home together.

When your meeting was finished, you packed up your things and headed down the corridor towards her office. The door was slightly ajar, you were just about to knock and enter when you heard a long quiet moaning sound.

You paused, putting an ear closer towards the crack in the door, a smile pulling at your lips realising what she was doing. The pregnancy had made her insatiably horny, it wouldn’t be the first time she’d relieved that itch here in this office. Though you were a little miffed she hadn’t invited you this time deciding to go at it solo.

“Mmmnggh- oh god!” Moaned your wife beyond the door.

The arousing sounds had an immediate effect on you, turning you on despite the late hour and the long work day. You quietly opened the door a little more, wanting to watch and catch her in the act. But instead of seeing her in her chair with one hand down her pants as you expected, she was standing, her back to the door, bracing the wooden desk and swaying her hips.

“Oooohhhh-…don’t come now…” she moaned quietly.

What on earth was she doing, you wondered. The question was soon answered when she grunted and slightly squatted in front of her desk.

Oh my god, she was in labour! Panic clenched your heart. You should rush into her office, to help and support her, but her continued moaning and grunting kept the arousal firm in your pants. You couldn’t go in there like this.

“Mmmmmffh- baby wait a bit longer please!” She panted and shifted around the room, unaware of your presence. “Your daddy is in an important m-meeting… mnnnnhh… when he’s finished he can - take us - to hospital… then you can come o-outtt… nnnnngghh”

You watched the way her hips circled in between each contraction, the way her knees dipped at every pain, the way her beautifully tight round stomach having dropped low on her hips a few days ago contracted visibly through her thin dress, the way her swollen breasts heaved with every laboured breath. The sight had you frozen, in fear and fascination and arousal, leaving you standing in the dark corridor watching her through the gap in the doorframe.

“Oooohhhh it’s so low…. Mnnnnghhh-oh god! I t-think..I need to p-push… hooohooohooohooo no! Not now… daddy isn’t here yet…”

Your labouring wife grasped the edge of her desk, moaning and whimpering. Her stance had widened, her knees were buckling, and yet you couldn’t move. Every sound escaping from her lips pumped more blood to your groin.

“Nnnnngghhhh!” She leant an elbow down on the desk, her other hand cupping the swell of her heavy stomach which just accentuated the size of her full term bump. It really was huge, you had no idea how she managed to carry the extra weight and still dress the way she did - in her staple black dress and heels. Even when heavily pregnant she was still every inch the successful corporate woman you fell in love with.

“Hooohooo- you can’t come out now baby…. Please. Oooohhhh…Don’t push… don’t push…”she panted a mantra to herself.

You were transfixed; watching her struggle and sweat and labour in the office where your baby was probably conceived.

Suddenly she grunted, a deep gravelly sound, and you nearly climaxed in your pants.

“Oh my god…was that- shit, my water just b-b-broke!” She looked past her swollen stomach to see her stiletto heels now soaked in amniotic fluid. “Ooooohhhhh… Y-you’re really coming n-now aren’t you little o-one? Hoooooo- where’s… where’s your dad?”

Rubbing her contracting stomach and raising her head, your wife looked towards the door. You had no idea why but you disappeared out of sight the second she looked up, concealing yourself behind the wooden door. You should go in, you should help her, she was having your baby. And yet, your legs didn’t move.

“Okay… okay baby. Looks like hooooo it’s just you and m-me…” You heard her say, still out of sight but well within earshot. You heard movement inside the room and took a chance peeking round the door.

She had kicked off her heels and lowered herself to the ground, kneeling beside her desk with her arms up gripping the edge. She hummed, rocking slightly back forth, clearly preparing herself for the next wave. Then suddenly she sucked in a gulp of air before letting out a long lowing sound, deep and primal, and sinking back on her heels as she pushed. Hard.

Your jaw slackened, watching fascinated from outside. This woman was incredible, absolutely beautiful, listening to her body and following her instincts, birthing your baby right here in her office. You fell more and more in love with her with every grunting sound she made.

“Mmnnnggghhhh!!!!!!!” She roared, “fuck…. The head… I can feel it coming….”

She let go of the desk, a little unsteady without the support, scrambling underneath her flowing dress. Oh my god, she was delivering your baby, right here right now.

“Oh oh oh no- I can’t…. get-them-off!!!!” She cried, and you realised she was still wearing her underwear and was struggling to get them past her hips with her widened knees.

“Hooooohoooo oh baby wait a second… need to make room… I’ve got to take them off… I’ve got to…. I’ve got to…. Oh shit I’ve gotta pushhhhhh-NNNNGGGGGH!”

Your wife growled again, bearing down with everything she had despite her underwear blocking the baby’s exit. It was the hottest sound you’d ever heard. She gasped in between pushes, trying to tug her knickers out of the way. But to no avail.

“Oohhhhhhh I can feel you…. Oh my god there’s your h-head-hoooohoooo.” Her dress was pulled up and you could see her cupping the bulge that was pushing against the fabric of her underwear.

You baby was crowning, but your wife was struggling. The fierce lioness from a moment ago, who was confidently delivering her baby unassisted, was starting to panic. The baby was coming out and she was pushing hard, but she couldn’t move to take off her underwear, the head retreating after every push by the restrictive fabric. You could see the panic gathering in her eyes as she failed to break free from her knickers and her body struggled to birth the head. Tears welled in her eyes and it broke your heart; the spell of your voyeurism vanished in a heartbeat.

You immediately threw open the door and rushed over to her.

“Oh sweetheart.” You whispered, kneeling down beside her.

“You- you made it. Hooooo The baby…. is coming….” She grasped on to your for dear life, pulling at the lapels on your suit jacket as she grunted and pushed again.

“You are doing amazing, darling.” You encouraged, supporting her weight under her arms.

“Get-my-pants-off-now!!!!” She growled against your chest.

“Okay, just hold on to me. I’ll get them off.” You assured, moving her trembling hands to your shoulders, freeing your own to help deliver this child.

The thin material stretched across her widened hips, you hooked your thumb on either side and pulled down but they would only go so far with her knees splayed.

“I need to you move a little bit-”

“Move?! Are you serious? I can’t move! Grrgghhh!”

“Just a little bit darling, I need your knees closer together so I can get these knickers off…”

“I can’t… this baby needs to come out now. Oh god I need to push!!!!! Just get them off-get them off!!!”

You tried to rip the fabric but it was stretched too tight you couldn’t break it. Frantically you looked around to see if anything else could help, and thankfully your eyes found the scissors on your wife’s desk. Grabbing them quickly, you carefully cut the fabric at one hip and they immediately fell to the floor.

“Oh thank fuck!” Your wife gasped, still clinging on to your shoulders she widened her legs and sank closer to the floor in a deep strong push. “Here it comes…. MNNNGGGHHHHH!”

Before you could react, the head popped out with another gush of fluid. Your wife eased her grip on you, panting heavily in relief.

“Hoooohoooo- oh my god… that’s our baby.” Her hand cupped the newly born head, and she looked up at you and smiled.

“You are incredible.” You kissed her sweat-dampened forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in labour?”

“I didn’t realise I was in labour, and when I did… hooooohoooo you were on your conference call. I knew it was important and I thought I had plenty of t-time… ooooohhhhhh god. I’m feeling pressure again….”

“Do you need to push? Is it time?”

“I think so… mmmnnnnh… are you ready to meet our b-baby?” You wife asked, a smile still tugging at her lips despite the rising pain.

“Of course, let’s meet our baby.”

Your wife shifted, stealing herself ready for the peak of the contraction that was building. Her hands braced against your shoulders, while your own were poised ready between her thighs.

Your beautiful wife grunted again, deep and long, as she pushed. You held her hips steady when she twitched and yelped as the shoulders stretched her wide, and a few seconds later your baby was born into your hands. A baby boy born at 8:56pm on the floor in your wife’s office at the company you’d build together.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

Those Who Can || integrated Female Air Force series

Introductory part 1: Flintenweiber, or “Rifle Broads”.

Summary: The American War Effort had conceded to the enlistment and commissioning of women into the Air Force at semi-integrated status. Deemed a more reliable if not safer combat post, the going rank of officer in the Air Force was intended to secure fair treatment and combatant status for these women, as it had for their male counterparts. Like most things in war -or life if one is a woman- such recognition must be fought for.

Authors Note: this is an Au, obviously, and I intend for the de-segregation in the force to not be entirely full, in fact in some ways they would mirror that of the Tuskegee Red Tails where they were held back from many opportunities and placed at a disadvantage, to say the least. However, as this is primarily a POW fic that aspect only effects their reception into the Stalag and the timeline of their crashes.

Inspo: thanks to all of y’all who contributed with suggestions and advice on this fic. I want to say that I based a great deal of the brutal treatment and indignity heaped on these fictional OC’s on the true and horrific treatment of the Soviet Female Soldiers taken as POWs. Taking into consideration that American ties would give these OC’s some leverage, I have moderated these horrors if anything, however as I intend for these girls to be some of the first of their kind, they in many ways endure the brunt of the cruel initiation. If you’ve got any questions or suggestions about this, have at the inbox.

Warnings: 18+ for disturbing content. War, brutality, cruelty, and references to sexual violence. Specifics: a woman’s head is forcefully shaved, a woman is kicked to death, a dog turned loose, concentration camps, brief infighting between Soviet’s and Americans, past tense illusions to rape which are underplayed and may be consequently more disturbing to some. Quite angsty ok?? It’s women at war. Rampant misogyny by Nazis.

Familiar faces: Gale Cleven, Benny Demarco, John Brady, “Hambone” Hamilton

Original Characters: Lt. Maureen Kendeigh (bombardier), Lt. Colonel Ida Brady, Lt. Tallulah Smith 

If Maureen Kendeigh heard the word “degenerate” used one more time in regards to her profession, her sacrifice and skill, -she just might do something regrettable.

By this point she was ready to get off this cattle car and go back to talk with Interrogator Glasses about stupid and unnerving shit like why the clock in the mess hall at Thorpe Abbots had a broken arm. Her distressed inner monologue of “how did he know that??” at the time was preferred to this newest method of demoralization: death by aspersion and suspense.

It was nice to be back with the girls, ones she knew and ones from other squadrons. But that held a misfortune too, the fact that it was just the girls, still not a single male crew member in sight. Apparently the Gestapo and the Luftwaffe were having a spat over who got to keep them, these Flintenweiber: “Rifle Broads”.

In the meantime Maureen and her fellows got punted back and forth between the two institutions like unwanted stepchildren. First the horrible isolation but humane treatment of the Air Force interrogation cells. Then back to the prison where all bets were off and the hope of safety came from a herd-like defense of each other against the ever more erratic guards. In these holdings, if one of their members hadn’t been executed by a pistol to the temple by end of day, it was considered a successful defense by the whole. All other atrocity, indignity and assault were unbearable’s that required bearing for the time being until the Luftwaffe took them back.

And then handed them back over.

And on and on it went.

It was effective, Maureen gave them that, after each hosting by the Gestapo, the girls were softer, tenderized and more susceptible to any deal that might procure them a shred of honor and safety. Only Ida Brady, the most senior amongst them at the incomprehensible rank of Lt. Colonel, had held ranks together, spine of steel and bearing more terrifying than most men’s, she’d fought for every grueling respect of rank they had been afforded. Even if it landed them in harsher conditions, worse interrogations -anything to ensure that what happened to her girls were considered as war crimes against lawful combatants when the time came for justice.

But they’d been collecting the downed girls and holding them apart like prized anomalies while conflicting orders came in from Berlin, and while the Red Cross fussed regarding combatant status. Now they had a tidy number collected, well over twenty by the time Maureen saw Ida Brady pushed into the cell, having been downed with a significant portion of them after Munich.

But now they hadn’t seen Brady in over a day. Not since they’d been loaded on this rail car headed to god knows where by soldiers with the dreaded lightning bolts on their collars.

The SS.

With Brady missing, Maureen supposed that made her and Lieutenant Smith a leader of sorts. Most of her “leading” currently took the form of not responding to a single vile threat or taunt by the guards mingling amongst them in the ever rocking car. Ida would be proud of her emotionless detachment at one guard’s suggestion to let the dog loose and see who it chose to maul.

Lieutenant Smith -tender hearted Tallulah with the bronzed skin and knack with animals that rivaled Snow White’s- had made the cryptic observation in Maureen’s ear that she’d never known a dog could be trained away from the throat to go for the breasts instead.

As of last Sunday they now knew, and none of them were likely to forget.

“I’ll be faster next time,” Smith had mumbled in a simmering rage, “I’ll be faster. I’ll have my fist down that cur’s throat before they finish slipping the leash.”

It was a nice sentiment, would’ve been made more so if Maureen wasn’t so sure it would land dear Smith with a bullet in her head. Would be made more so if Sergeant Forsyth had lived from her injuries long enough to benefit from it. Lots of things would be made nicer by heavier coats and the presence of drinking water.

One of the new ones, a terrified little replacement who wore her ordeal on her face, made the rookie mistake of asking for a drink. She’d been given the predictable initiation of being pissed on by a guard in answer and now she bore her thirst as doggedly as the veterans.

When the train cars rolled to a halt, and the great door was hauled back, sprawling out before them appeared the most idyllic scenery one could ever hope for. A crystalline blue lake, dotted on its border with charming structures adorned with red tile roofs, a quaint church of the same, lush fields and sparkling water and deep forest for miles. Maureen did not think they would haul them so near a town only to execute them. But then what did she know?

Nothing, not even where she was.

When they had lined the girls up, some in worse shape than others and a motley collective group from various military branches, they hauled off Ida Brady to the head of the pack, her bruised face considerably more busted than when she’d been loaded on. Maureen could see her craning her neck as she was drug past, counting down her flyer girls, looking for any missing from the trip.

They were marched, four abreast and with guns at their backs, down a wide and well traversed road into town, past cottages on its outskirts with little garden plots and clothes blowing on the line. Maureen was reminded of the idyllic countryside she had landed in with her chute before being seized and hauled off. There were women and children in row boats on the lake and the path they took through the woods was more peaceful than ominous. A traitorous sort of hope began to bloom in Maureen’s heart.

That was dashed when the tree line broke and out before them stretched what seemed to be miles of wire. And beside it a sign, welcoming them to Ravensbrück -a concentration camp. A camp for civilians, a camp to never return from.

Their new guards were ready for them, smiles on their faces and whips in their hands. Among them were a few remarkable for their sex, they were women too -if women who enjoyed such craft could still be called that. And for all the horror inflicted on them by their male captors so far, there seemed to be a general presentment amongst the arriving girls that the finer arts of terror had not yet been endured.

Standing for hours in the infamous square inside the compound, roll call and registration took on a form of torture yet unheard of. Round and round it went, repetitions of ranks and serials over and over and each time they were met with two alternatives. Renounce the ranks and be admitted as civilians with no further targeted harassment. Or-

“If you insist on being special, we will be forced to make you special.” as one officer put it to Brady’s stone cold face. “Ask your Soviet compatriots, the ones who wanted to be special like you. They claimed to be officers too, and now they service officers in Buchenwald. They have not left their beds in months. Special, no?”

“I’m not ‘claiming’ a goddamn thing.” Brady would go round and round with them in turn and up and down the line was the echo of ranks and serials.

Nothing but ranks and serials.

The minute they dropped one or the other, they’d be freed from this standing purgatory, and they’d be as good as dead. They might wish it were so anyway, if the threat was carried out but they’d suffer as officers, with honor. Whatever that meant this far from home and any appreciation of it. A fresh batch of guards relieved the first and the banter continued, even through roll call of the general camp where a mass of the most miserable specters of female kind poured out of the huts and were made to await the call of their one single number.

A serial for a serial. Maureen would keep hers. By dawn she had kept it, as had all but one of her group, a navy nurse with a broken leg who’d succumbed to the allure of a chair.

Civilian status for a seat.

Maureen thought a drop of water might be her own undoing were it offered, but one look at Smith's cracked yet unmoving lips cemented her in her own determination. As did Ida Brady’s talk, straight back in front of her, trousers bloodied on the inseam but not a cringe to be discerned in her stance.

By morning roll call for the entire camp, their guards were tiring of them, or else thought a new method of persuasion more likely to bring success. Off they were marched to their new billet to “meet their Allies” and what Smith wouldn’t give to have her brass knuckles back when met with a hut full of Soviet soldiers. Females, if females could have shoulders like that. They were impressive women with murder on their faces at the intrusion of a new gang of American blowhards.

“Did you give up already?” The one with the most English taunted and for the first time since capture, Maureen saw Ida Brady’s spine bow backwards just a fraction -a pacifying gesture in the face of the Russian’s nose to nose staredown.

“Hey, we’re not here to make trouble.” she insisted, cool and stern. “Did you?”

“We’d rather die.”

Brady gave a sharp nod, “Then we’re Allies in that, too.”

“Your precious Red Cross won’t come for you here.” That likely verdict seemed to bring the woman satisfaction, and Maureen wondered how many months, weeks, hours of this grueling place it would take before she too took savage satisfaction in another’s misfortune. How long before all better impulse to be glad for others was stamped out and all that was left was crowing self preservation. “You are not the firsts. There were others, Americans, like you, they are now wearing the ink of field whores- or they are dead.”

“One might assume the same of your predecessors.” Brady pointed out mildy, and both groups shifted behind their leaders, ready and tense.

“Anyone who accepts-“ the Russian warned, “-we kill.”

With that incentive clear, a tentative peace was made, which included a few trying to fraternize, converse and share news. There was little that aligned to create any cohesive figure, despite their shared experiences and sufferings.

When night fell they were hauled out for roll call amongst the masses, and together after hours of waiting to be called upon, they answered with their ranks and serials, each in their own language. The Russian who had confronted Brady was beaten so badly she did not rise again after it. The guard left her lying there and asked Brady herself what her occupation was.

“Lt. Colonel in the United States Air Force.”

The unfortunate rookie who had so ill advisedly asked for water on the train stood beside Brady; and got a bullet to the head for her superior’s answer. What Colonel Brady thought of her judgment being given to another did not show, her face white and her lips sealed, only the speckle of blood on her profile stood in stark relief in the early morning.

“Kneel.” a very shiny Luger barrel was pressed, still smoking to Brady’s temple.

She did so, braced for the inevitable execution. A soldier's death, it’s what they’d signed up for. The Kommandant waved over one of the female guards and spoke to her in German. She took off at a run to one of the buildings with a bright smile, and Ida Brady stayed kneeling, the splattered brains of the unfortunate dripping out of her hair and into the leather of her jacket, a mockery of her own upcoming fate.

The female guard returned with scissors. “Your poor hair, so pretty. Now it is ruined.” the Kommandant bemoaned, gloved fingers sliding though Brady’s wet tresses, “See what happens to beauty when you pervert the order of things? Now it must be sacrificed. Perhaps then you will see how ugly you are become.”

Maureen felt Smith’s restraining arm before she had even registered her impulse to charge forward, caught about the middle she strained against her friend's surprising strength and in the end was forced thusly to keep ranks and watch with the rest as the Nazis fucks scalped the Colonel of her femininity with a pair of sheep shears.

Dribbling blood down her face and shaking with rage, Ida was in better shape than her Russian counterpart. When her ordeal was over, she rose again, even if she swayed dangerously upon doing so.

And when asked, she had her serial at the ready.

Crowded back into the hut, Maureen and Smith watched the Russians hopelessly fuss over their insensible leader, knowing all too well how likely it might be that they could be found doing the same tomorrow, in a week’s time, who knew. For now, Brady sank down against the wall with the rest of them, the scowl of her formidable brows deflecting any potential commiserations for her battery.

When the navy nurse was pushed into their hut next evening, a dead silence greeted her. One of the Soviets, a sniper by her markings, came up to her and unceremoniously tore open her shirt. If the girls had doubted the Russian’s warning about “wearing the ink of field whores” upon their skin as mere hyperbole, such speculation was removed. It was a dreadful tattoo, large and damning as was the reaction it elicited amongst the servicewomen.

By the end of the night there were two dead bodies on the hut floor. And it didn’t seem to matter who had killed which. One had died for honor, the other for giving it up. And in the end? Where was this ephemeral honor? Ida Brady could only find it in the tense faces of her girls, lining the room from their places along the wall, waiting for another roll call or worse.

But in war, as in peace, sometimes the dead sent favors and in this instance it came to them with screams of:“Amerikaner Soldat!” in the middle of the night. They were marched out to the square and stood to attention once more in the sweep of the spotlight, all the while were shouts of “Amerikaner Soldat!”

All they knew was the bitter waiting in the gray dawn chill and the choking anticipation of some sick, final joke, or some methodical mass execution. Maureen wished she could knock her shoulder into Ida’s one last time and tell her she’d been a rock -she was a rock- but Brady stood there in front alone, as was her privilege and her curse. Talullah Smith would not meet Maureen’s side eyed glance for a farewell. Maureen wished she had less of a roar inside her, wished she could step off calmly into whatever was on the other side but the idea was repulsive, even after all she’d endured, and she looked about in vain for some semblance of the same revolt on her fellow’s faces.

What came instead was the dreaded whistles and the order to march. They were marched right out of the gates and down the idyllic lane they’d been marched up days ago, back through town to the railway station. There the soldiers herded them back up into a cattle car that smelled more of death than livestock, and then the train pulled away, hurtling south -perhaps the only one to do so with living cargo.

There were no guards inside the car, only the cramped space to keep them docile and the lack of promise that the great door would ever grind open again.

“The hell do you think happened?” Maureen hissed to Ida, finding her superior propped up in the corner in a suspiciously casual pose that she suspected hid a limp and unfathomable fatigue.

“Haven’t got a clue, Kendeigh.”

“Maybe someone got word out.” Maureen suggested, thinking of their predecessors, thinking of the useful dead.

“Or we’re headed to a nice rural dumping ground.” was all Ida would speculate. “Or brothels.” she added after a long minute.

Maureen chewed her cheek and kept peering out the slats at the beautiful countryside flashing past. “Well, at least they’ve ensured you’ll be least wanted of the bunch at such an establishment.” she joked and watched with the careful precision of a trained bombardier as her mean joke landed and Ida Brady’s legendary eyebrow ticked up in something that might have been amused disbelief, had she any energy left for such a display.

“Pistol whipped in the mouth and still no respect for rank, Kendeigh.” Brady observed and it was so like her brother John’s flat lined humor that Mauren’s heart throbbed with something alarmingly akin to sentimentally. For John Brady -and all the other lucky souls still at Thorpe Abbots, God willing. “I’m not laying on any damn beds for them.” Brady suddenly broke the silence again in a low voice, one Maureen knew was meant between officers only.

She pitched her head closer in agreement. “Me either.”

“I don’t care if they shoot me first,” Ida went on, as if reciting it to herself, “-and I don’t care if they shoot all of you first. I’m not going to.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.” Maureen agreed again, vacillating briefly in her intent before proceeding to say, “That Sergeant -she wasn’t your fault. The nurse either.”

“I know that Lieutenant.”

“I know you know,” Maureen muttured, “but some stuff bears repeating. Places like these, we’re liable to lose our bearings without a little repetition.”

“Mm.”

Maureen shuffled beside her and wracked her brain for pleasant conversation, something besides the Soviet girls they’d abandoned and the skeletons they’d seen at Ravensbrück. “Ya know,” she remarked tiredly, “if someone in here’s hydrated enough to pee, I might be ready to drink it.”

Brady slowly turned from her view out the slats to give Maureen a blank faced stare. “Should I make an announcement or are you hoping to keep that between us?”

“Oh hell, Colonel,” Maureen grinned, mischief bubbling to the surface at the first chance, “I wouldn’t trust anyone else but you, liable to get stds from this lot.”

“Kendeigh.” Ida hissed warningly but there was that disbelieving wobble to her stern mouth, “That’s not funny -not with where we’ve come from.”

“It kinda is.”

“It’s not.”

“It is- a little. Admit it, a little.”

“It’s not.” And still her cheeks were pink with suppressed amusement, just like John’s got when Maureen pressed him on a dig about basic training.

“You sure you’re ok?” she ventured again, eyeing Brady’s extensive injuries visible above her clothes.

“Yeah?” Ida looked nonplussed, “I mean -what’re you ranking as ok, these days, Lt. Kendeigh?

“It’s just,” Maureen bit her own busted tongue briefly as a spur to get it out,

“-you’re bleeding a lot, Ida. Couldn’t help but notice.”

Ida Brady didn’t even glance down at her trousers or make a motion to feel her lacerated scalp, instead she answered in the same, almost bored way she always did, “Yeah, Candy, it’s called being a good Catholic.”

Maureen blinked. “Oh. Oh Shit.”

“You know, maybe some of you girls had the right of it,” Ida actually winced before staring back out the slats, “go off and do it ahead, in peacetime. But here I am, twenty seven and as sacrosanct as the Virgin Mary, dropping into occupied territory. What could go wrong!” To her credit, her snort was wonderfully genuine.

Maureen kept after her, “You signed up to fight, to get fought against. We all did -never this.”

“Mm, well, couldn’t choose a better gang to get put down with.” Brady smiled, begrudgingly raising an imaginary glass of her own to Maureen’s already raised one.

“To bitches who bite back.” Maureen toasted.

“To bitches who bite back.”

——————————————————-

Two cases of MIA troubled John Brady the most: Egan, who he had seen jump first after their dispute, and Maureen Kendeigh who he had learned from Blakely had jumped over Bremman. That’s two flyers who should’ve been here by now, before him even, in the case of Kendeigh, and yet they weren’t.

He went round and round the argument with Cleven and Crank and Hambone, all three downed from separate missions yet here together - proving his point. Cleven held staunchly to the belief they were being kept segregated, as befitted their ranks and sex. They could be one sector apart and not hear of them. It was the only hopeful response, it was a leader’s response. There had been women downed before Kendeigh, not many but a few of the escort fighters, and none of them had showed either. Brady wasn’t sure that was a good sign at all.

“So where’s Egan then?” he’d always hit back with, “They mistake his shoulders’ for a dame’s?”

“I dunno John.” Cleven would reply with that newly blank gaze of his somehow enhanced by the twin cuts on his cheeks.

Demarco took Brady aside when he arrived to tell him that whatever had happened to Cleven in interrogation wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t ethical. Those cheek scars weren’t both due to flack. Like a dog with a bone, Brady took this already suspected information about his stoic superior and ran with it, pointing out hotly to an uninterested Demarco, “if it’s happened to Cleven, what about them?”

“What can we do about it?” Was Cleven’s demand that always wrapped up the little circular arguments as they sat huddled in their hut. “Red Cross knows they’re not here, no colored flyers either. They know where they are. What can we do besides ask after them?”

He was right, there wasn’t anything, but still, like a presentiment hung over him, Brady found himself leaning on the wire each time a new batch was marched in, counting heads and scanning faces.

“Ida hasn’t even been shot down, John.” Crank kindly reminded again and again.

“As of two weeks ago.” John snapped.

As of two weeks, and then as of three, and then it became four and -where the hell was Kendeigh? Gale had stopped arguing when the subject came up, apparent but impotent fury slowly racking his wiry frame, face gone wane already above his grimey fleece collar. Winter wasn’t even here and they were fading.

And then it happened, what John had been waiting by the fence for, and boy was there a crush at the wire to see them marched in when they came up the muddy enclosure through the gates.

“The fuck are they bringing the women here for?”

“They don’t belong in here, bastards!”

“Ar’those Brady’s Banshees?”

“They’re not gonna hold ‘em here are they?”

Like he’d been reanimated by the presence of a cause, Major Cleven cut his way through the rabble to the front, addressing the German officer escorting them.

“Hey, hey you can’t bring them in here. They’re women, they belong in their own section.”

“If they are women,” the Commandant pointed out, not unkindly, “then perhaps your country should have recognized that before enlisting them? They belong here.”

Cleven shook his head, vehement in his conventions and rules, “It’s not right, you know it’s not.”

“Then tell your Lt. Colonel to stop fighting for combatant status.” he jerked his chin towards Ida Brady and Gale’s eyes widened at her injuries and tufted hair, “The SS had them tucked away at our most prestigious female camp. But they would not accept. They want to be men.”

“Combatants!” Gale argued the point Ida had been making since her feet touched occupied soul.

John Brady yanked his arm, whispering urgently in his ear, “She’s makin’ sign to me, torture, she says. Don’t fight it, Buck.”

Cleven searched the battered faces, some he knew like Ida, T.Smith and Maureen, and some from other squadrons, -ones who must’ve been damned unlucky to get captured considering their safer postings.

“If it can happen to you it c-“ John Brady was a bit of a pain in the ass, Cleven had found, but he had never found him to be wrong.

“Roger, loud and clear, captain.” Cleven warned him his point was made with a bite in his own tone.

“Have we come to an understanding?” The Commandant, amused by the fluster his female charges had caused, it was ample proof that women could never be fully integrated, not even by a society so pervertedly equal as the American’s. “Ja? Sehr gut. It wasn’t like you had a choice anyway, was it?

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Feedback is a writer’s life blood, let me hear your thoughts and screams, they mean so much to me.

We have so many prompts already thrown around for this AU, I can’t wait to explore them, and I welcome any more if you have them.

Taglist (if you’d like to be added please drop a note below):

@stylespresleyhearted

@ab4eva

@earth-to-lottie

@suraemoon

@blurredcolour

@steph-speaks

@crazymadpassionatelove

@rubyfruitjungle

@taestrwbrry

@storysimp

@javden

@sexualparkour

@jointherebellion215

@sunny747

@ask-you-what-sir

@xxanaduwrites

@pretty4u

@yorkshirekiwi

@waitedforlove743

@elvismylove04

@blikebarbie92

@luminouslywriting

[hamletshoeratio]

"But no new content 😭!!" that means jack shit. We have several literal decades worth of content we can watch or rewatch. The writers and now the actors too are not only fighting for their livelihoods but for the futures and the soul of their industries.

Fuck new content, fuck the executives and producers and powers that be who make millions upon millions while the people, who create the content that make them rich, can barely make ends meet.

Here's some suggestions to anyone who doesn't know what to watch;

Nostalgia rewatch; watch old favourites, shows and movies you haven't seen in years but that stayed with you, the ones that mattered to you.

Watch the shows your parents didn't let you watch growing up because they thought the show was "too mature" for you.

Watch the shows and movies people have recommended to you that you never found time for before.

Watch indie films!!!

Look at different genres than what you've watched before and give them a go.

Try films and shows from other countries and/or in other languages. There's dubs and subtitles available and these shows and movies can be just as good if not better than their American and/or English speaking counterpart.

And remember when watching shows, that you do not have to binge them all at once, you can have your own personal tv schedule and watch say an episode a week like you would've done when/if they aired before streaming

Look at some older films and shows, why does it matter if it's in black and white or the camera quality is lower than 4k and hd, so long as it's good? And so many of those shows and films, while not perfect, have aged better than shows that have come out in the last decade, like the golden girls for instance has aged so much better than say glee (ok many many many shows aged better than glee but let's be real for a second, music was better when artists were terrified of the Glee cast doing a better version of their song on the show. I do still wish it was a show my mom didn't let me watch tho, lmao glee was fine but no, her twelve year old being obsessed with Les mis and rewatching it religiously was cause for concern 😂😭 I was just as obsessed with glee for seasons 1-4 especially).

It's ok to indulge your inner child and rewatch the classics tm. The shows and movies you grew up with. Rewatch the shows that got you through sick days from school, the tv movies you remember watching premiere, the cartoons that MADE your Saturday mornings, etc.

On the topic of animation, that's literally an unlimited genre you can tap into, which rarely gets the recognition and respect it deserves.

Don't be afraid to watch the one season wonders, the shows that networks and streamers cancelled after one season in spite of strong reviews and good ratings. Or the shows that ended abruptly around the season 3 or 5 mark because networks and streamers cancelled them because they didn't want to negotiate contracts and have to pay the actors and writers more. Get angry, remember what the actors and writers are fighting for.

The privilege of older shows that either concluded naturally or that writers were given a heads up on might be on it's last season is that you get closure, unlike with the above. That might not mean an ending is good but a bad ending is better than a cliffhanger. There's always fix its fics for a bad ending. And if the ending is good, it's typically GOOD in my experience. The fear of a cliffhanger and zero closure has already turned many against watching new content until the show is renewed for another season or is fully wrapped (and fans don't hate the ending).

Watch the shows that were in their day or are popular or critically acclaimed, they usually hold up to the hype.

Watch the old shows and movies your favs were on/in before they were your favs.

Try a soap or a telenovela, they can be entertaining af (holby city my love, Tuesdays have never been the same since the BBC robbed me of you).

If you liked a reboot or a revival of a show, try the original (in certain cases, the og is even better, see boy meets world v girl meets world).

If you like period dramas, try shows and films from other countries based on their history. A lot of times when people are telling their own history it goes far better than when Hollywood tries it (see the many times Hollywood has actors brought in because producers think they're good for box office and they then go on to butcher the accent their character should have, see Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep and so many others who have absolutely butchered the Irish accent over the years for instance. There's also many many instances even recently of just blatant whitewashing see Matt Damon as the last samurai...).

Listen to recommendations, watch the shows and movies you know your family and friends loved but you never got around to watching.

[ploppythespaceship]

Please Watch My Adventures with Superman

This show is just so delightful and manages to capture the essence of Superman in a way a lot of adaptations just don't quite get. If you've ever been curious about Superman, if you've ever felt Superman is too boring for you, or you just enjoy a fun superhero story, I highly recommend checking this series out.

The first season has ten episodes, and the second season has just aired its third episode. In the US, it's available on Adult Swim and Max.

What It's About

If you aren't familiar with Superman, he's an alien -- the last survivor of planet Krypton, sent to Earth as an infant where he was found and raised as Clark Kent. Being an alien, he has extraordinary powers which he uses to lead a double life as a hero. This show focuses on a core trio of Clark, his girlfriend Lois, and their friend Jimmy, all of whom work at the Daily Planet newspaper.

Clark Kent / Superman

One of the main reasons this show works is it understands that Clark is Clark, first and foremost, and Superman is his disguise. Clark is a big friendly nerd. He's a huge sweetheart who cares so deeply about the people around him and the planet that adopted him.

This version of Clark is starting out very young (early 20s), so a lot of this story is about him just figuring things out. He's gradually learning the truth about his origins, the extent of his powers, and how best to be a hero -- all while grappling with the fact that he isn't human and his people of origin may in fact be a massive threat to Earth.

Clark is voiced by Jack Quaid, which you might not expect to work well, but he honestly nails it.

Lois Lane

Lois is loud. She's ambitious. She's intelligent and quick-witted. She doesn't take no for an answer. She has jumped off a building to prove her point -- twice. She is an unstoppable force of nature, and this show refuses to dumb any of those traits down.

But above all, she's kind. She wants to use everything she can do to help people. Her relationship with Clark is also everything you could ever want from a Clois dynamic.

This version of Lois is Korean-American, and voiced by Alice Lee, who does a phenomenal job.

Jimmy Olsen

Jimmy is Clark's best friend and roommate. This version portrays him as a supernatural/paranormal vlogger, running a web series called Flamebird. He's easily excitable, very passionate, as well as one of the most dedicated friends you could ask for.

Following in the footsteps of several previous iterations of the character, this version of Jimmy is African-America. He's voiced by Ishmael Sahid, who's just perfect in the part.

Why It's Great

The characters are all fun and interesting in their own right, while also having a great dynamic with each other -- as duos and as a full trio. And because the characters are shown as being very young and just starting out, they're very relatable. Additionally, every character feels very true to the spirit of their comics counterpart, despite taking a lot of liberties with the specifics.

There's a great cast of villains so far -- Livewire, Task Force X, Mxyzptlk, Parasite, Silver Banshee, and plenty of others that I don't want to spoil. They've also been teasing some really interesting stuff for the Kryptonians, which is noticeably different from any previous adaptations I'm familiar with.

The show is very anime-inspired, giving it a distinct flavor from other Superman adaptations. The creators are clearly having a ton of fun with it. Classic Superman villain Mxyzptlk, who's typically shown as an imp, now looks like he just walked out of a Dragon Ball episode, in an episode called "Kiss Kiss Fall In Portal."

It's also the same animation studio as The Legend of Korra and Voltron: Legendary Defender, who do excellent work. The character designs are unique while still fitting the characters perfectly. I particular love Clark and Superman's designs -- they've struck a balance between making sure he's big and muscular while also retaining a certain softness to his appearance. The fight scenes are fluid and dynamic. It all just works.

[frie-ice]

Once I discovered a game that is a dark rewritten version of Pinocchio, like there is of Alice in Wonderland I had to base a crossover ship collage on them. In American McGee's Alice Madness Returns Alice Liddell has a steampuke dress and the series has some steampuke-like traits through its take on the Mad Hatter, along with the second game having Alice turn herself into blue colored butterflies whenever she dashes. Giving her common traits that one could use to feature her beside P, the nickname given to the humanoid Pinocchio as he is mostly addressed as "boy" in the game. Three of the Tumblr posts I had found on the two had them be featured with Disney's Alice and Pinocchio, like they were comparing Disney's child friendly versions of the two with their darker counterparts.

I know that while people have enjoyed the story plot of Lies of P, they aren't found of the way that it was very easy to die in one or two hits, but I still think that they should be credited for story telling. Like the American McGee's Alice franchise was. Just to get this off my chest, but whenever I hear someone say Lies of P, it feels like they were saying "Lisa P."

I had trouble coming up with a title for this collage, with Lies of P Pinocchio mostly referenced as simply "P," I ended up with "Palice." It was that or something like "Alichio," "Pinolice," "Alinocchio" or "P Liddel." What do you think it should be, even if you prefer to ship them as friends than lovers?

[heychucklenuts]

RED vs BLU Merc Name Headcanons + Differences

Within TF2 it's a bit ambiguous as to whether the BLU Mercenaries are clones of the RED Mercs, if they're Doppelgangers, or some other third thing. I like to think they're Doppelgangers, and as a result, this post is gonna be both my headcanons for the names of the RED and BLU mercs (obviously canon names such as Demo or Engie's will be left in tact). Also slight comic spoilers may apply so be wary for that.

I'll not only showcase the Mercs names, but also differences between them.

If a Mercs name is the same color as their team (so, the name is red or blue), that means that is their canon name. If only one part of the name is highlighted, that is the only canon part of the name.

Without further ado, the names for the Mercs:

Scout

RED: Jeremy Herring Surname taken from one of the surnames Jerma985 has been known with: Harrington. Unsure whether this is his real surname or another cruel joke. Also a slight pun with Red Herring. His first name should be a bit obvious here, as he's named after Jerma. BLU: Jesse Alibert Honestly I've probably thought of the name because of Jesse Pinkman, unfortunately. Surname is another variation of one of Jerma985's perceived surnames, this time being the world famous Elbertson surname.

Differences:

Jeremy is well known for being the rough and tough Bostonian he is, having grown up as the runt within a family of seven (7) older brothers. He's fought his way to get what's his, and he makes sure nobody stands in the way of him and what he wants. Jesse on the other hand is someone who you shouldn't fuck with. He grew up as the older brother to a little sister, so obviously, he grew protective of her, and has beaten plenty of guys up as a result. You cross him once, you're already on a watch list. Cross him twice? Obituary.

Soldier

RED: Jane Doe This is Soldier's already perceived name, a name given to either unidentified women, or women who's names are being withheld for other reasons. And what's to say this isn't his real name? BLU: Annie Roe As much as I wanted to go down the road of just calling him "John Doe, I felt that to be a little too easy. So, I looked up a list of placeholder names used aside John and Jane Doe, and ended up combining two placeholder names, one used primarily in the UK (Anne Other/A N Other), and another US variant of the placeholder, this time Jane Roe. I chose to change his name to Annie for two reasons: Annie Oakley, and there was an American clinical psychologist and researcher by the name of Anne Roe, so I wanted differentiation.

Differences:

Jane is who we know best, our jingoistic, lead-poisoned patriot himself. He's reckless, he's loudmouthed, but nevertheless he is passionate about his livelihood, about his country, and about his team. To him, he's served his time in the armed forces, being a part of the great Gravel Wars. God bless Teufort. He tries his damnedest to be the authority of his team. Annie is on a similar page as Jane, not much difference between the two, outside of the fact he has been in the army before, though not for long. The biggest difference would be how he seems to be a bit more closed off than Jane, a bit more to himself. He doesn't seem to fully understand at times that there is a time and place to brawl.

Pyro

RED: Pyro or Lumbre The Pyro's name is one of mystery, though I'm going off a particular headcanon I have seen before, or a speculation Pyro may be from Mexico do to a lot of their cosmetics being Mexico-themed. Therefore, I'm not necessarily giving them a name, more a placeholder word, one that can mean fire or light depending on it's context. Why I say Pyro or Lumbre is that we never know, perhaps Pyro is their name. Name not highlighted do to it being Pyro's name as a Merc rather than their real name. Allegedly. BLU: Cryo or Tsumetai (冷たい) A bit of a different take on the Pyro, which I'll get into later in the differences between the Merc counterparts. Cryo would be short for Cryomaniac, an opposite to Pyro's full Pyromaniac title. The other name, Tsumetai, comes from Japanese. It describes more something feeling cold. than yourself being cold. And the reason for the Japanese name is because of another speculation, of people believing Pyro is Japanese do to their "Hadouken" taunt from holding the Shotgun or Flare Gun. Obviously this is a Street Fighter reference, and thus some believe Pyro to be Japanese as a result.

Differences:

Pyro is notorious for being ruthless on the battlefield, burning everything and everyone that they can. But, to them, it's not destruction. If anything it's creation. They're creating a lovely world of candy and unicorns, with all of their friends there to celebrate, and those from the other team there to play. Surely they're just having fun, right? ...Right? Cryo. The opposite to Pyro. They see the beauty in fire, yes. But they adore the opposite too. Ice so cold it burns your flesh, causing severe frostbite, and necrosis. But again... al they're doing too is just playing. They're bringing everyone into their winter wonderland, to make snowtanks their friends and having snowball fights with the other team. Ice can't hurt that bad... it's what makes some of the best desserts. It's what makes people happy on a hot day.

Heavy

RED: Mikhail/Misha Medved Heavy's name Mikhail, or Misha for short, is already known to be canon. As for his last name, I decided to go with one that revolved around his bear theme in the game, having 5 bear-related cosmetics, as well as his fighting and killing a bear in the comics. The surname itself means "bear" in several Slavic languages., as a side note. Funny enough in researching this, I saw a retired Ukrainian decathlete by a similar name. (Translated to Russian his name is Mikhail Medved, but in Ukrainian it's Mykhailo Medvid.) BLU: Yuriy Kaban I wanted to give BLU Heavy a similar name type assigned to RED Heavy; I.E. having a more common first name, and a surname based off of an animal to represent them. While part of me wanted to assign BLU Heavy a surname meaning wolf, I decided instead to give him a name meaning boar. And, supposedly I'll say, the word "kaban" translates to boar, or wild boar.

Differences:

Stoic yet lovable, Heavy cottles his beloved Sasha as he takes down enemies. Of course, don't take him as someone who's cold and ruthless, he can be warm and vibrant, especially given he's a big brother to Yana, Zhanna, and Bronislava. His love for Sandviches helping to feed all of the other mercs, and his love of (and doctorate in) Russian literature making him so well read. But again, don't doubt him. He's the same man who can turn around and slam a bear on it's back and kill it if he chooses to do so. Yuriy is a man shrouded in mystery... somehow a bit more so than Spy is. For whatever reason he'd rather keep his past hidden from everyone else. What is known is he has a younger sister, similarly to Misha. It's theorized he came from similar origins as Misha, but something happened to the majority of his family before being sent to the gulag. While as deadly as Misha, he practices gentler hobbies to relax, such as sewing, or reading. He likes to take book recommendations from the other Mercs, and maybe even from Misha himself.

Demoman

RED: Tavish Finnegan DeGroot A man of many names, three to be exact. And All of these names boast some sort of a significance, being there as references to different cultural terms. Those being Black Scots, Black Irish, and Black Dutch, in that order. The last two being in reference to black people who have some ties to either Ireland or the Netherlands, but those ties not being ethnic. Meanwhile with Black Scots, that's more in reference to those descendant of freed African house servants who stayed in Scotland. All that is in blue is referenced from Demoman's official TF2 Wikipedia pageb and I felt it nexessary to elaborate more on that as I've done with some of the other Merc's names, and their origins. BLU: Aulay/Owl Tuinstra His first name is an interesting one, with one of its name variants (or one of the Anglicized versions of his name) being Humphrey. Aulay has a certain feel to it though that, to me fits a Demoman, and his nickname Owl may showcase his personality versus the RED Demoman. The surname of Tuinstra is a mixed one, being of West Frisian and Dutch origins, and his surname could roughly translate to "inhabitant of a garden", Tuin meaning garden, and the West Frisian suffix -stra meaning inhabitant of.

Differences:

The loveable drunk himself, Tavish is someone who defies all logic by being able to drink heavily, and not feel a thing. Though being in love with his own liver has something to do with it. He's a dastardly foe shooting bombs for people to step on and blow themselves up. Tav himself is damn well a multi-millionaire too, holding down three jobs, even if his mom says he's lazy. He's hardworking, and he's someone you don't wanna fuck with. Coming from more humble beginnings than Tavish, Owl grew up on a farm his family owned, still receiving the same scoldings of not working hard enough, despite being a bit wealthier as an adult. Like Tav, he's a man who can pack scrumpy and other types of alcohol. His nickname Owl does give a hint as to who he is though, being logical, independent, and a bit curious about different things... including cracking the cosmde between the RED and BLU team's relationship.

Engineer

RED: August Conagher Not too much to say about the Engineer in RED, or his name. These two get to be our mystery Mercenaries for the time being. BLU: Dell Conagher The real Dell Conagher, as shown in both the story comics, and Loose Canon. There's not much that I can say about him, or his name, other than that the BLU Engineer is Dell Conagher.

Differences:

The Engineer in RED, the one who may be a little too interested in how to become robotic, but he isn't the Engineer we've come to know. August's past is for his eyes only, being someone of an unknown past, but of possible relation to Dell. He seems to deny that though... possibly angry at the man for keeping Radigan's plans and blueprints all to himself. Dell is who we have come to know as the Engineer. He's the lovable Texan with a bit of a sadistic streak at times, and someone who also holds plenty of secrets, namely from his team. He's loyal to The Administrator and to Mann Co. as a whole, God knows what would happened if he went against the company.

Medic

RED: Dr. Ludwig, Ludwig Humboldt, Joseph Ludwig The only thing that is confirmed regarding Medic's name is some aspect of it being Ludwig. It was thought for a while this may be his last name, due to page 208 of The Naked and The Dead. The only reason this ever got questioned was because of the Rottenburg map, and the pharmacy named Humboldt's Pharmacy. Due to some of Medic's past lore, this likely caused people to wonder if Ludwig was his first name, and the pharmacy being of his actual surname. Though there was also the name given by Gaming Heads when they were promoting the Medic figuring: that being Joseph Heliburger. Though this is said to be non-canon. So, while his name is left as Dr. Ludwig, or Mr. Ludwig, I could see his name being either or of the names I listed above as headcanons. BLU: Andrea Weis An example of me kind of just picking and choosing what felt right, for some reason this name stuck as a possibility for BLU Medic. The name Andrea can mean manly, and is of Greek origin, while Weis can mean clever, wise, or experienced, which I think fits with the Medic class as a whole. Not to mention the possibility of BLU Scout getting pissy with him and calling his Dr. Whizz, and getting a kidney removed as a result.

Differences:

Cruel, sadistic, a strong love for bones and gore. Dr. Ludwig is a strange figure of mysterious origins, and while he is someone who wants to experiment for his own pleasure, don't get the wrong idea about him. He's not entirely careless though, caring about his team, and their well-being. He shifts all medical logic in their favor, as well as all standard logic to ensure he owns all of their souls. That way, in life and in death, the team may always be united. Dr. Weis on the other hand is a much more careful figure, even if he does take a same sadistic pleasure in what he does. And unlike Dr. Ludwig, he's actually gone to medical school. Weis does his job, being the teams healer, but other than that, he's a bit more to himself, usually found in his lab studying, or working on an unnamed cadaver. He prefers the quiet, as the constant calls to him can get a bit grating on the ears. So much so to the point he's considered quitting, but the unlimited money is too worth it to leave.

Sniper

RED: Mick Mundy At least a half of his name has been confirmed, with Mundy being his surname, and what he seems to go by the most. As for his first name being Mick, I'm genuinely unsure if that's been officially stated as being his first name, seeing as it was just on the back of the box of the Sniper action figure. One thing to say though, if it turns out his name is Mick, part of me wonders if he's using a shortened version of the name Michael, and doesn't like people calling him by his first name. Not to mention his supposed first name seems to be a Crocodile Dundee reference (not surprising since he has the Crocodile Mun-Dee cosmetic.) Other than that, the surname Mundy is a bit rare to come by, and either comes from Norman or Irish origin, and could possibly mean "Son of Monday". And his birth name Mun-dee is offbranded Superman lore, if Superman were a sniper instead of a superhuman. BLU: Lawrence/Laz Walker Pivoting from RED Sniper to what I assume could potentially be a more common name. I'll be honest this was one of the names where is was a series of shrugs instead of thought, mostly due to Sniper cosmetics, and the fact some people may have believed his name to be Lawrence because of the Lawrence of Australia item set. (A reference to the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia.) As for the nickname of Laz, I can only explain it as it sounds more like a name for a Sniper than Larry. Do not question me. As for his last name Walker, I just decided "fuck it", giving him the 14th most common last name in Australia, versus RED Sniper's more unique last name.

Differences:

Adopted to Mr. and Mrs. Mundy, hailing from New Zealand to then be shot to the surface, raised to be Australian. Mundy isn't cruel like Dr. Ludwig, quite the opposite. He takes his job seriously, every shot being calculated to a T. Not exactly the friendliest of people, seeing as his job has had him isolated for long periods of time, but he's not completely cold to his team. He hangs out with them, he has fun with them. Serious and stoic he may be, he's found a love for his job, and for his teammates. Contrary to popular belief, he does not smell like piss. He takes care of himself and makes sure he's fresh for the day. Laz was born and raised in Australia, living in one of the underground homes of Coober Pedy up until he became an assassin. A cozy life for him he wishes to return to, but the town of Teufort offers an odd familiarity to him. It isn't the same, no, but it suffices. Laz isn't so much cold as he is introverted, preferring to keep his peace rather than interact with the other Mercs too much. The more he's worked with Team Fortress though, the more he's opened up, telling the Mercs stories of when he was growing up, and what it was like to have to dust yourself off after using the bathroom, or getting knocked on the head by loose minerals. Cryo seems to try and help Laz fill in the void of that by dropping sand and pebbles on him at random.

Spy

RED: René Èviter With RED Spy, I wanted to give him a very common French name, as that's what I feel like suits him the best. Thus, I named him René. (Bonus points because in the back of my head I can hear his full name being Simon René Èviter, with him usually omitting his first name. That's a give or take though. As for his surname, Èviter... it roughly translates from French to "to avoid", which is both a pun off his spywork, and his role as Scout's father. BLU: Florent Mercier More of a unique name, to a degree, and there's a reason why I named him Florent which I'll elaborate on shortly. I'll say I believe him to be RED Spy's more sensitive counterpart, so giving him a name that may be seen as more delicate in nature (translating to "flowering" from French), was a good choice. His surname, I just chose at random. Though I had to pivot from calling him Mercer as that's more an English and Scottish (and I believe Catalonian) variant, whilst Mercier is the French version, translating to "merchant".

Differences:

René is a sneaky man, conniving and quick footed. Nothing is known about him, where he lived, or even really who he is. All that's known is you should watch your back for him... and that he's quite the ladies man, seeming to sweep the Scout's mother off her feet, as well as countless other women. Make no mistake, he can steal your lady like he steals control points. More on the side of planning before acting, and less of a braggart, Florent lives up to a delicate nature. He's not someone who shies away from confrontation, no. He'll take a person head-on for whatever it is they've tried to do to him. But he isn't as flashy as his RED counterpart, preferring to stay humble about his spending habits. In his case too, he seems to be a little more than just a ladies man, rumors circling around the base that he may have a fondness for men too...

This took way too long to work on by the way, couple that with my newfound headache.

Was gonna do age headcanons too but I wanna sleep.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

On a more serious note, now that I’m halfway into Farscape season 1, I can’t help but think about Peter Quill/Star-Lord from “Guardians of the Galaxy” being a lesser John Crichton. Because, as I’ve written before, James Gunn was so obviously inspired by Farscape:

1) John and Peter are the good ole American protagonists who were taken to deep space against their will. They connect with people through pop culture references and their good heart.

2) Aeryn Sun and Gamora are the stone cold warriors who used to fight for the bad guys but are now on the side of good. They also have a romance with John/Peter.

3) Ka D’Argo and Drax are the proud warriors who are seeking to redeem themselves. They also are so stiff that references and simple sayings go over their heads.

4) Rygel is sorta kinda like Rocket Raccoon in that they’re the scheming loudmouths who look out for themselves.

5) Pilot and Groot fulfill the role of the lovable support character who helps everyone in the crew.

6) Zotoh Zhaan doesn’t have a perfect GOTG counterpart, but I really do feel that James Gunn split her traits between Nebula (who got the rage and tragic backstory) and Mantis (who got the mind powers).

Anyways, back to the main point. While Peter Quill does come off as a John clone, I think the way John’s arc was handled was superior to the way Peter was written. I think the main reason is that I can see why John would be his crew’s leader (or, at least, the crewmate keeping everything together) while Peter feels like he’s the leader because the plot says he should be.

John starts off as the goofball who can’t do anything right. No one trusts him and they think of him as the idiot who they just keep around. But as season 1 goes on, you can tell that he’s the glue who’s keeping the crew together. He’s the crewmate who got everyone to open up, especially Aeryn (who was trained to be cold and emotionless) and D’Argo (who distrusts everyone because of his traumatic past). He’s like that one friend who you feel like you can talk to about anything, especially since everyone else in the crew is dealing with their own problems.

So when we get to the episode where John is ready to leave, it makes sense that everyone feels hesitant to see him go. Aeryn is starting to fall for him, he was one of the few people who D’Argo would consider a friend, he helped Zhaan through some of her toughest times, and he generally got along with Rygel.

As for Peter Quill, I’m not saying he was badly written. It’s just him being treated as the team’s leader is not as believable. It’s like, imagine if John Crichton was written to be as emotionally closed off and standoffish as everyone else in the crew. While this does make Peter stand out as his own character separate from John, it also makes you wonder why Quill was written as the team’s leader. I’m sure that’s why it was a recurring gag that Quill was always struggling to be seen as the leader, whether it was from Rocket or Thor. The writers knew that wasn’t 100% believable, so they wrote it into the story.

I don’t get that with John. He might be the resident goofball, but he’s also why the crew hasn’t fallen apart.

TL;DR Peter Quill/Star-Lord was obviously modeled after John Crichton. But the MCU character who feels more in line with John as a character is Clint Barton/Hawkeye.

[lakesbian]

ok i lied about blakeposting i'm still thinking about amy and victoria. the [grits teeth] really unfortunate thing. is that they are interesting. amy is about the horror of the dissonance between what her family believes her to be (& subsequently what She believes herself to be) and what she's pressured into attempting to be instead. her adoptive mother believes her to be some form of immutably rotten, an intrusion on the family whose ontological being is inextricable from the "wrongness" of her heritage--and subsequently amy believes herself to be immutably wrong. she's not really seen as a member of their ideal White American Golden Nuclear Family by her mother, but she's expected to pretend like she is. she fears the day that her immutable wrongness spills out, revealing her for what she truly is, causing those around her to inevitably hate & abandon her.

her feelings towards victoria are the ultimate tragic highlight of this: the dissonance between what she's supposed to be (an ideal sister, the heroic state-licensed cure-all companion to her golden girl counterpart who metes out justice thru state-authorized violence) and between the core she's terrified of having revealed (someone who doesn't internally view victoria as a real sister because she's treated as an intruder upon the family vs. a real member of it, someone who loves victoria very much but not in the way she's supposed to).

which is where her power comes in--it's about the painful irony of feeling that there's smth just Immutably Inherently Wrong With her that those around her will inevitably hate/leave her for, but instead of her power allowing her to change Herself to prevent that from happening, it lets her change Other People so they'll unconditionally accept her--but in the process of changing them, she meets the self-fulfilling prophecy of exactly what she believes 2 be wrong with her (being inherently predatory/an intrusion upon decent nuclear family/society). the one thing she can't fix or change no matter how desperately she wants to is herself.

and of course the whole "change/fix" thing her power does is impacted by her coremost emotions in the first place--part of the horror of it is how awful it would be if your worst split-second impulses & desperate thoughts could be made manifest directly against your own will. which ties very nicely into the underlying fears involved: you're wrong and dangerous and it will spill out everywhere no matter how hard you try to contain it. which it eventually does, because she's been raised with the expectation to fully contain herself within boundaries of a role actively hostile to her, and it's not a role anyone could act at perfectly forever. even the first moment she snaps/spills over is a direct result of an attempt to impose that role on her--victoria refusing to allow her to determine that she needs time away from family to cope w/ her emotional distress and forcing familial affection onto her under the assumption that, if the expected Sisterly Interaction is had, amy will do what victoria thinks is best for her & return to the family.

and of course there's the entire tragedy over there happening for victoria that she genuinely believes in her family, she genuinely thinks playing cop w/ mom and dad well enough will result in fulfillment & success for both her & amy, and she couldn't even fathom the underlying causes of the eventual snap of someone she regards as the purest form of sister. and i imagine she's very prone to retreating into the ideology instilled in her by her parents as emotional reassurance/protection from that betrayal rather than recognizing the ways in which it's hurting her too. girls when their lives suck. their lives Wouldn't suck if they simply were not put in those psychological torture pits. but unfortunately they were.

[tomyo]

A long examination of Amy and her character treatment.

This was initially a YouTube comment lol.

I truly loved the Sonic x dub cast but it really always came down to an issue of script and possibly the voice director. It always stung to me how much vitriol Amy used to get and while I like how she is better treated (being more recognized as one of the core 4), I do miss the sassiness she was given in the 00s. Sonic is meant to be kinda edgy and often in the anime he’s portrayed with immature traits because he’s a teenager, Amy often was the counterpart to that, a modern posh girl who was stubborn about what she wanted but not solely defined by that. I don’t think it was revolutionary but I do think compared to the Japanese ideal woman, Amy would be more akin with trickled down gyaru culture (Mat[ure] gal, something in line with the image of posh spice). It’s unfortunate that headstrong translated probably somewhat to boy crazy and desperate to an English audience and where Sonic’s immaturity was toned down removing that feeling they were on the same level. Often my biggest issue with her modern voice is she comes off as a knock off mini mouse (more so in the earlier games with her current English VA).

Maybe ironic is it sounds more alike to her Japanese portrayal which also ironically I’m very conflicted about since it somewhat aligns her more with cream age wise. But what I do like about it is the difference in character portrayal. If I were to guess Sega’s stance on Sonic and Amy it would be two people loosely dating, similar in the way Mickey and Minnie are a couple but that validity fluidly changes depending on the situational need. Keep in mind that Amy’s first portrayal is as a version of Sonic’s girlfriend. Given that there was apparently a valentine’s plush bouquet of the two I think to some degree they’re meant to be as such. When it comes to the Adventure era to just before generations, the context of this relationship is greatly changed between languages. American Sonic often gave off the feeling of a laid back but heroic guy who puts up with a girl because he is too kind and she’s too pushy. And I think even just the voice direction plays into that perception because of how they sound a different maturity than the Japanese portrayal. In Japanese, Sonic is often more playful and less uncomfortable than he sounds in English. A great example is adventure 1’s park segment when Amy gets excited for free couple entry, in English Sonic is clearly annoyed and calling her a pain while in Japanese he’s caught off guard but going along with it. I’ve only just been digging into the Sonic X sub but the comparisons I see give off more the feeling that Amy is casually dating Sonic and regularly fighting with him to take her on dates (gonna point to Goku and chichi in this case). He cares about her enough to go to her place first at the end of the first season but reflexively avoids responsibility, she’s the scary girlfriend always mad at him. Specifically pointing back to episode 52’s ending, they use a song associated with specially the relationship between Amy and Sonic that also is explicitly romantic (and in terms of the song presumably reciprocated) when she asks him to tell her He loves her and the lip flaps of his unheard response *could* match up to “Aishiteruze Amy” (my conjugation isn’t that good and google isn’t helpful but to me vague knowledge a more casual masculine way to say I love you) and a white rose which symbolizes “chaste love”.

Ultimately I read their relationship being Amy trying to find compromise with Sonic’s free spirit. They’re by no means official and probably never will be because it’s not in Sonic’s priority (in his game portrayal). The most I think that would ever become of him being with someone would be almost completely out of the picture and light hearted at best.( But that is also due to him eternally being 15/16 as for now. ) Amy trying to get him to spend time with her and show some reciprocation is I think all Sonic X Amy is looking for. But going back to my thoughts on why Amy got so much backlash for the longest time is I don’t not think the first wave of Sonic fans in America understood that. The image of who Sonic is was completely treated different and even before Amy (who you could technically call the second character created in game universe) could appear stateside, the U.S. already created the answer that “Yes, Sonic is interested in romance and here is the type of girl he likes.” My feelings toward Sally always lie in, I did not hate Sally but I hated the way fans pointed to Sally as the reason to hate Amy. It doesn’t help that when Amy was introduced, she was defined by being young, bratty and blind to Sonic not loving her back. She was the little sister trying to steal your boyfriend and the age gap they share was even more so focused on. Even with just the English dub of Sonic media, it was leaning into the concept that boys should feel disgusted at the ideas of romance that isn’t as prominent in Japanese media. It paints the picture to the average 90s Sonic fan that “Amy will never be his type because he’s more interested in a cool mature girl like Sally.” Of course the same comic that particularly created that shipping divide collapsed leaving Amy once again to be the sole main girl that now had a fandom known for hating her. Already doing a whole reset with Colors on scaling back the grand stories and cast, by the next time we really saw her in generations she was just…….dainty. I remember being very effected by her Disney princess hand posing in Lost World. To be honest she hasn’t been that deeply tied into any mainline stories too much, at least not in her modern styling but to also be fair, I’m trying to enjoy Forces despite being late to the game (There was a decade gap of buying a major console) and while I have seen pretty much the full extent of her rep in Frontiers, I’m holding off on dream team currently(also want to play the murder of Sonic on my own time). From the way I look at it, this has lead mainly western media to define her character and often working off said issues that previously arose with her portrayal. As much as I love Sonic Boom, I see Amy’s straight forward pursuit to awkward denial of even feeling that way as nothing less than an absolute failure of her character. That mixed with making her the “The girl annoyed with the boys because she’s just so much more smarter and sophisticated than them” just switching her to a different girly stereotype that ultimately pacified her, then further extending into prime emphasizing how nature loving she is in a way that again really just feels like a Disney princess cliche. Ultimately she’s become “The nurturing homebody who is a little annoyed at the brutish guys she’s around and doesn’t want to address having feelings for her guy friend because that would just bother him.” Maybe it's just aging to that point but its come to a girl minimizing herself is more frustrating that a girl obsessed with a guy. I get why they chose to pivot her in that way but it often also feels directionless.

Actually looking back at all the media that sparked this, even Sonic X doesn't feel that bad as she was made out to be. Granted I'm only a 7th of the way in but she's not often making a huge deal about sonic as much as sonic is the heavy hitter especially with knuckles gone and he's not taking his duties seriously. But it's also interesting to try and see what's going on in the Japanese dubs of the games now that I also have a decent hold on the Japanese language. Sonic adventure 2 gives the impression of her being a part of the crew just constantly not caught up in what's going on. Naturally she'd be invested getting her beloved out of prison but he is so tied up in what's going on that he (and tails) don't stop to fill her in before she's also a wanted criminal. Notably as well, when the island is set to explode, where sonic says "I got to warn the others!" Others is addressed as "Amy-tachi". The word the Japanese use for we is "Watashitachi" which is the word for I with Tachi denoting people with them (watashi can also be replaced with of pronouns if you don't use watashi). It took my by surprise that between tails and Amy, sonic refers to any instead. Something about Japanese sonic makes Amy feel more a part of the group and part of me cries the many ways English sonic fans did not get it.

Edit: I have now played The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog and the writing team GETS Amy. I'm starting to wonder if Amy's Disney princessness is due to most of the media being kids shows right now and this was a steam game (mainly aimed at an older crowd). What's best is if plays well into the whole "Sonic is a bad boyfriend" concept I was talking about, he forgets her cake and is panicked. But Amy is also much more aligned with her old portrayal, she's excited and a little hot headed. Clearly she's had to organize a lot but also lavishes in it being her birthday. She doesn't over obsess on Sonic but she's definitely happy that he supposedly brought her cake and she gets to avenge his "murder". At the same time she's happy to be with all of her friends who clearly care enough to go along with this, even people you wouldn't expect like rouge and shadow. I know Blaze travelling dimensions is a joke but yeah it is crazy she did that for Amy who I think she only really knows though the Olympic games(I've only just started Rush). A murder mystery feels also such a good take for her, it's something extravagant but also a little occultish. Aligns really well with someone into tarot.

[gavin-reed-is-gay]

DBH Children Headcanons

Just like to preface this by saying that I love making fan-children for my favourite ships so I don’t care about “oh they wouldn’t have kids” or “this doesn’t make sense”. This is for my own amusement so just letting you know before you go on.

Also, I can't draw for shit but if people like my dbh children and want to see more, I will make them on the Sims or online (dress up games) and post them here. Let me know if that's something that would be of interest. I'll also answer asks about them and whatever if anyone is interested

Taglist for those who said that they were interested in my headcanons: @sundownridge @kristopher-1105 @dbhstruggleposting @glass-noodle @fearlessjones @heiko-goes-detroit

Connor + Hank

Name: Nicole (named after Cole)

Birthday: May 21st (gemini)

Appearance: She has Hank’s eyes and Connor’s hair. Her hair is fluffy/curly (like Bryan’s hair) and its shoulder length, tied into a ponytail (she also has a fluffy/curly fringe similar to Connor’s)

Other features: She has Connor’s freckles (not exact but similar) and wears glasses (inspired by the popular headcanon that human Connor wears them)

Info/Background: So, my headcanon for their child is that Connor is the one who asks Hank if they can have a child. Connor has been seeing other androids having their own families and he wants one as well. He would never pressure Hank into this but Hank agrees of his own volition and even though he’s older now, a part of him wants to try again. They have a baby via science (it’s the future, doesn’t need to make sense, haha) Because it is through science, they’re able to give her Connor’s hair and freckles but her facial features (skin, shape of eyes, nose etc) come from Hank’s dna.

Personality: - Ok so, for their daughter, I headcanon her to be someone who is adventurous and loves to have fun. She loves being outdoors, being active and anything athletic, like sports and dancing - She loves the heat and hates the cold (this is a nod to how cole died) - Even though her name is Nicole, she prefers the name Nicky (Hank called her that in the beginning because he couldn't bear to say "cole" yet and it just stuck) - She knows different forms of self-defence, mainly due to Connor's influence and she loves it. She can pull of moves that even has Connor going "damn" - She smiles a lot, like a lot a lot. Very rarely will you ever see her not smiling and laughing

Favourites: - Colour: Pink/blues - Symbol: Heart

Jericrew

Name: Riley (named after Markus’ removed romantic interest, Riley)

Birthday: November 9th (scorpio)

Appearance: Similar to her game counterpart, except her braid goes down her back instead of to the side (to distinguish her from north but in my head, she wears her hair like north's because she admires her so much) and she has grey eyes (this is a nod to her eyes being blurred out in her images)

Info/Background: Riley is left at New Jericho’s doorstep. Jericrew know that they should hand her over to humans but despite the positive aftermath of the revolution, they are still distrustful of humans. By time they decide what to do, they have already fallen for her. After caring for her for a while, Markus is inspired to fight for androids rights to adopt human children. Of course, humans are not pleased about this and there is a huge argument and debate around it but eventually it is legalised and she becomes part of their family.

Personality: So, even though her personality isn't touched upon at all, I've come up with some traits from the information and pics shown in Riley's wiki - Becomes an artist (inspired by Markus) - Good listener and advisor - Self-confident and assured - Into the boho style - Loves plants and flowers - Well-educated (this part comes from Josh, who would have taught her a lot)

Favourites: - Colour: Jade - Symbol: Chevron

Markus + Simon

Name: Milo

Birthday: July 8th (cancer)

Appearance: He is African American with short brown Afro-textured hair, shaved at the sides and light brown eyes

Info/Background: Milo is adopted by Markus and Simon after Riley grows up a bit. I imagine that because Simon is a domestic droid, he loves kids and once Riley becomes older, he aches for having a little one around the house again.

Personality: - Him being into fashion and dressing cool (since people love how Markus and Simon dress) is always something that I've liked - Combination of Markus and Simon's traits (determined, loyal, soft etc etc)

Favourites: - Colour: Dark pink

Leo + KL900

Name: Scarlett (named after Carl)

Birthday: August 15th (leo)

Appearance: So, because she was created through science, she looks like Leo and a KL900 combined. She has black braided hair which is tied up into a high bun and she has Leo’s eyes.

Info/Personality: So, a little backstory on this crack-ship. Because KL900’s are created for social care, I headcanon that they have them in rehab centres. While at rehab, Leo meets a KL900 (which I have dubbed Kelly) and they fall for each other. Their daughter is born after Carl dies (of age) and Leo names her after him.

Personality: - Wants to become an actress - Has Leo's jealousy issues - Is confident in her abilities which makes her come off as a bit vain

Favourites: - Colour: Cyan - Symbol: Teardrop

Chris Miller

Name: Damian

Birthday: August 9th (leo)

Appearance: Ok this is just me but I headcanon that he dyes his hair part blonde during his teen years. I’m probably the only person whose given any thought about Damian’s appearance but ever since it entered by head, it won’t leave

Personality: - Ok, so because Chris' concept name was Chad, I headcanon Damian to be the definition of the slang meaning of a "chad" (but without all the assholishness that comes with it)

Favourites: - Colour: Beige

Name: Sarah

Birthday: June 30th (cancer)

Appearance: Chris’ hair/eye colour and Afro-textured hair that falls down to her shoulders

Info/Background: Not much to say except that I headcanon that he would have another child somewhere down the line

Personality: - She has a very "airy" personality. Like air, she's light, bouncy, free and just chill to get along with. She's gentle, caring, respectful and kind - Cries easily

Favourites: - Colour: Violet - Symbol: Butterfly

Gavin + Nines

Name: Curtis (named after Gavin’s concept name. Also Curtis means “polite/courteous and given Gavin’s personality, I think that is hilarious 😂)

Birthday: September 22nd (libra)

Appearance: He has Gavin’s eyes and Nines’ hair colour. His hair is a combination of Bryan’s curly hair and Gavin’s hair from the reed900 movies (I haven’t watched them but I’ve seen a lot of fan-art with Gavin’s hair drawn like his and it seems appropriate to give his son that hairstyle) Because it is through science, they’re able to give him Nines’ hair and freckles but his facial features (skin, shape of eyes, nose etc) come from Gavin’s dna.

Other features: He has Nines’ freckles (not exact but similar)

Info/Background: I headcanon that after Nicole is born, Nines and Gavin both get baby fever and want a child as well. Science baby, of course.

Personality: - So, I know that this isn't original but I like the idea of Gavin's kid being the opposite of him. Curtis is polite, courteous, well-behaved, never swears, humble, friendly, sociable, charming, funny, everyone who meets him just thinks he's so nice etc etc - But in saying that, there a few traits he gets from Gavin. He is ambitious and an over-achiever. He's not bookish per-say but wants to do his best at anything he tries - I know I said he never swears but that's more in general. He will swear if he's mad or if he hurts himself by accident (stubbing his toe etc) - Also, his first word was "phck" much to shock of both Nines and Gavin, the latter swearing black and blue that he never said it in front of him (he did)

Favourites: - Colour: Green

Tina + ST300

Name: Katie

Birthday: October 19th (libra)

Appearance: She has Tina’s eyes and Staci’s (my name for the st300) hair that is shoulder length and tied into two low pigtails

Other features: She has freckles like Staci

Info/Background: A couple years after Gavin and Nines have their child, Tina and Staci decide to have one through science as well. Because it is through science, they’re able to give her Staci’s hair and freckles but her facial features (skin, shape of eyes, nose etc) come from Tina’s dna.

Personality: - I headcanon that she has fanon Tina's personality. If you've ever read most reed900 fics, you'll know that Tina has been given the traits of "party-animal, doesn't take shit, loves to tease, always the optimism to Gavin's cynicism, always has her friend's backs etc" - Since we don't know much about canon Tina, I gave her fanon traits to Katie

Favourites: - Colour: Olive green - Symbol: Flower

Elijah + Chloe

Name: Adam (a nod to the first man on earth because Adam is the first human born from an android)

Birthday: February 3rd (aquarius)

Appearance: He has Eli’s hair colour (his original brown, not his dyed hair) and eye colour. His hair is half-shaven and swept to one side

Info/Background: I headcanon that Eli has been experimenting and he alters Chloe so that she is able to give birth to children. Eli tells no one until Chloe is pregnant. The world is informed and watches to see if it works. It does and even though only one was predicted to be born, they have twins. Because this is the first baby born through an android, only Kamski's dna is able to be used so he has his eyes, hair, facial features etc Personality: - Genius (like his father) - Relaxed and nonchalant. Not a serious person - Enjoys the spotlight and fame of not only being a Kamski but also being the first human born from an android - Frivolous with money - Social butterfly, loves being around people and going to parties - Loves being in public - Always in the media for somethingFavourites: - Colour: Blue

Name: Ava (a nod to Eve but the e’s are changed to a’s to be alliterate with Adam’s name)

Birthday: February 3rd (aquarius)

Appearance: She has Eli’s hair colour (his original brown, not his dyed hair) and eye colour. Her hair is long and styled into a high ponytail

Info/Background: Same as Adam’s

Personality: - Genius (like her father) - Business savvy and ambitious (I haven't picked a career for her yet but she becomes highly successful like Eli) - Workaholic - Stubborn - Studious - Unlike her twin, she is smart with money - Is wary of befriending people because of her fame and status - Prefers to keep her personal business private - Not a big fan of the media

Favourites: - Colour: Red - Symbol: Diamond

Name: Noah

Birthday: March 8th (pisces)

Appearance: He has Chloe’s hair and Eli’s eyes. He has long hair that falls to his shoulders

Info/Background: Ok, so originally he wasn’t supposed to exist but after coming up with his personality and why he exists, I couldn’t resist. So, the reason why he was born is because Chloe wanted a child that looked like her. Because she was the first android to have a child, only Eli’s dna was used so Adam and Ava only have Kamski dna. Noah is more mixed.

Other features: Wears glasses

Personality: - Genius (he is the smartest of the three children) - So personally, I don't believe that Eli is evil but I know that it's a popular interpretation in the fandom so I went with it for his son - He is sociopathic and sadistic. He is reclusive, hates humanity and only respects his mother and other androids - He hates his father (because eli didn't want another child but only did it because chloe wanted it so while noah and chloe are extremely close, he isn't close with his father at all) - Because he is the third Kamski child, he isn't paid as much attention to as the other two by the public because he doesn't go out or isn't venturing into the business scene so this has left him bitter and jealous of his siblings - Wants to lead another android revolution and believes that androids should be ruling the world, not humans - Is loyal, obedient and very nurturing towards Chloe - To me, if I was a fic writer, Noah is someone who would be the big bad so his fate is that he would either end up dying or going to jail

Favourites: - Colour: Purple

Other

So, I made this next character purely for the purpose of shipping her with another one of my character's, Nicole but I lover her so much now that even if I changed my mind, she's staying

Name: Samantha Stern

Birthday: October 28th (scorpio)

Appearance: She has human Amanda's facial features, hair and eye colour. Her hair is straight and long

Other features: She wears glasses

Info/Background: Samantha Stern is a relative of Amanda Stern (the human amanda). She lived in England until she moves to Detroit. She meets Nicole in her young adult years and she ends up being a kindergarten teacher. I'm 50/50 on this but I like her having a british accent

Personality: - She is the opposite of AI Amanda in every way - She is an open book, has a warm attitude towards everyone, open to change, can be absent minded at times, encouraging, understanding, forgiving, compassionate and gentle - She's also independent and prefers to make her own way in life - When it comes to clothing, she hates big/dangly, shiny jewelery, long sleeved clothing and loves wearing dresses, skirts and shorts

Favourites: - Colour: Yellow - Symbol: Star

[utilitycaster]

ok just a list of even more questions re: Ruidus and its creation and society and basically everything

How much of the creation myths are true? Are bormodos descended from dwarves or halflings or something, or were they drastically changed by Predathos, or something in between? Were cytaa lizardfolk once?

Similarly are Reilora entirely of Predathos or do they have an Exandrian counterpart?

Absolutely fucking wild guess here that's almost certainly wrong but also this took place in the Founding and we don't even know how long the Age of Arcanum was; are bormodos and cytaa and reilora somehow truer to what Exandria was at the time, a la how the North American English accent is arguably closer to the 1600s British English Accent than many modern British accents are?

(my planetary science knowledge is limited and I respect if Matt "oh shit forgot about the polar day/night cycle in the summer in the arctic" Mercer decides to handwave that because frankly you can just say Magic! but why does Ruidus have similar gravity to the much larger Exandria as well as a seemingly comparable atmosphere)

How much of the "design" claimed in the Imperium's religion is in fact deliberate and how much is simply claimed? Are flares purposeful or involuntary? Are they made by Predathos or by the Weave Mind or by Ludinus's bullshit at this point?

Not a question so much as an observation but given that traditionally psionics are INT based in D&D and the Vanguard is sorcerers this explains a whole lot about how dysfunctional it is as an organization: in keeping with the sorcerer theme, it's the most "dish it out but can't take it" group of people that ever existed. You could DEVASTATE these CHA-based fools with a well-placed Synaptic Static, psychic resistance or no.

Did Otohan discover the method by which one became Exaltant via her experiences in the war? This would explain a lot and be literally by far the most interesting thing about her.

Literally though how would one of the Vanguard members who joined due to religious trauma respond to being taken to The Religious Trauma Capital? Are they all going to turn around and be like "well now I'm the one in power, so it's okay" (which is not uncommon as a response irl and would be fascinating to unpack) or are some of them going to turn upon realizing they're just trading one religion for another?

How long ago did the Vanguard and Imperium begin collaborating? For that matter, when did Ludinus specifically get involved given that only Exaltants could do anything with Reilora prior to the solstice?

The most recent Reilora Imogen summoned was not of the Imperium, but Kadija noted that the kinder Reilora Exaltants met in their dreams were sometimes replaced by more aggressive Reilora. Is it a crapshoot whether she summons a Reilora friendly to her cause or unfriendly? Is this also true of the Vanguard Exaltants?

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Interesting question re: the f! versus m! versions of the LIs. This is just personal taste, I don't think any of them are more or less loveable based on gender!, but I do think f!Rayyan is more attractive to me than her male counterpart, while for G & Sam it's the opposite - I exclusively romance their male counterparts. Tobin is the same for me in both versions, but I still prefer f!Tobin simply because I prefer playing as a woman hehe. For context, I am a bisexual woman leaning more towards women, buuut I'm really into gnc women and I guess G and Sam both just feel like they fall outside a category I am attracted to :'o f!G feels more femme fatale as a woman, and f!Sam is very cute.

This is supremely intriguing, thank you so much for answering!! I absolutely live for interactions like this!

My answer became a goddamn ESSAY (holy shit I'm sorry) but I'd definitely love to hear more of you guy's thoughts on this, cause this is super interesting to me!

For G, I totally agree. I feel the pivotal traits that shape them (cynicism, stoicism about life and what life throws at them, adapting to circumstance, instead of stubbornly sticking to 'what they want', their parents' divorce, being caught between worlds and used to living in multiple places at once—Canadian-French from their mom and French-French from their dad, their intense commitment to their belief that things don't last, and you can't expect them to) feel more... attractive to me in a woman than a man (because lord knows we have enough flaky non-committal men in this world), but I think that's probably a subjective opinion.

For Tobin, I think it's inevitable that their softness/gentleness AND their queerness is influenced by their gender, and I love that idea, and I hope to explore more of that later on. For M!Tobin, I feel like they've always had to deal with the fact that they're a little "too" soft for what the world expects from them (a black american in the ultimately super-machismo world of sports), and they've always at least "fit in" with the rest of their team because of their athletic prowess AND how much attention they get from the ladies. Now, exploring their sexuality, having to come to terms with the fact that they are attracted to men as well (and what to do with that information)... I think it adds an extra layer of vulnerability.

As for F!Tobin, I think there's similar tensions—but in different ways. E.g. maybe they're the way they are, so gentle and considerate and kind because, in some ways, they're compensating (subconsciously or consciously) with the stereotype that black women athletes are "too powerful", "too fierce", and they've only ever wanted to be accepted, respected, loved, hence they've always been softer than they have to be, kinder than they have to be, more considerate etc. etc. But then they met MC, and perhaps they're learning to put that all away, and just... be. Without fear of being "too much"—with MC reassuring them that they're OK just the way they are, and that their strength and courage does not need to be tempered for anyone else's benefit.

And finally, for Rayyan, again, I absolutely agree—there's something about F!Rayyan and how, coming from a conservative immigrant Muslim family (e.g. there was that scene with a brief mention of how their dad never even thought they should be serious about turning pro, becoming a professional athlete especially because she's a girl), she's probably had to fight for absolutely everything she's wanted in this world, and that's why she's so steely on the outside, why she's so unapologetic about pursuing the things she wants because god knows the amount of sacrifice she's already put in. There's still that dimension in M!Rayyan, being an immigrant, threading that line between wanting to do their family proud, wanting to pursue their own dreams, ambition—so much ambition—but also fierce loyalty, and uncompromising, unyielding courage.

Sam feels the most... unchanged whether or not I imagine them as female or male, the experiences that made them the way they are (and how they interact with MC) are the same (e.g. being in love with your best friend, being extremely open about experimenting with literally any type of human romantically except the ONE person they actually love and trust with all their heart, scattered loveable goofball tennis nerd that they are).

[lostcauses-noregrets]

not late to the fandom, just really not updated. last time I was on the ackerman bond between Levi x Erwin was canonically proven, but I have seen people in the tags and some other comments say it was disproven later on. would you mind explaining to me what the hell happened? thank you very much for your existence in this eruri fandom <3 you are doing the titan's lord works!

Awww thank you dear <3  

Okay not so short summary…

The bond between the Ackermans and their lieges was first mentioned by Isayama in the Answers Guidebook which was published in 2016, the same week as chapter 84, Midnight Sun (boy was that a head fuck). In the book Isayama said: 

Isayama With the heroes of American comics, conflicts dealing with the situation “with great power, comes great responsibility” have been depicted. In Levi’s case, if he had no power, he would probably have been an ordinary person with no responsibilities but, as a consequence of having power, that he became a person excessively burdened with responsibility. Kenny talked about “everyone… was a slave to something…”, when he put the question to Levi “what is yours!?”, Levi himself too perceived it. That he himself too was a slave in regard to his own strength. The sense of duty that “I must become a hero”. …the same thing can be said of Mikasa too but…, for the Ackerman family, in the service of their master, there are many people who are able to manifest their power to its maximum. —Eh!? (surprise) About that, isn’t this information that hasn’t been talked about in the original story!! Certainly for Mikasa it’s Eren, for Kenny it’s Uri that is the lord/master-like existence… Isayama In Levi’s case, it’s Erwin. As the existence who surpasses him, he has acknowledged Erwin or how should I put it. That is the Ackerman lineage or rather, the instinctive part probably.

This became known as the “Ackerbond”, though that is a term that was made up by the fandom.  There is no explicit mention of the bond in the manga until chapter 112 when Eren tells Mikasa that she is a slave to her Ackerman instincts, who is compelled to follow her host’s orders without question. (Cue lots of hand wringing about the “abusive” nature of the Ackerbond.)

However later in chapter 130, in an extended flashback, Zeke tells Eren that there is no such thing as Ackermans having “ingrained behaviour” or “compelled instinct” to protect their “host”, and that the real reason that Mikasa shows him so much kindness and affection is that she loves him. 

For once, Zeke is right, as this ties in exactly with what Isayama went on to say about the Ackermans in the Answers book:

— Regarding Mikasa and Levi’s Ackerman family mystery, we’re also receiving more clarity! Can we say that Mikasa, Levi, Kenny are all part of the same Ackerman bloodline? Isayama: They are all part of the same Ackerman bloodline. However, their reasons for protecting their respective counterparts don’t have anything to do with the bloodline itself - it’s just their nature (laughs). Within the story, Mikasa and Levi almost have the guardian/knight-like roles, right? That’s because they encountered the existence of a “boss”-like individual, and the desire to work for that person is very in line with their personalities.

So there you have it.  The so-called Ackerbond isn’t mysterious blood magic that forces Ackermans to obey their host, however it is in their nature to devote their strength to an individual they choose, whose “existence surpasses them”.  Put in broad terms, Eren “surpasses” Mikasa because he gives her courage, safety, family, all things she has lost when they first meet.  Uri surpasses Kenny because he has unlimited power and compassion and sees the good in everyone.  And Erwin surpasses Levi because he has a cause to fight for, one that Levi can dedicate his strength to.  I once read someone describing the relationship between the Ackermans and their significant others as a particularly selfless form of love and a deep seated desire to protect, which seems to hit the nail right on the head. 

If you want more info about the Ackerbond I have many posts here: Ackermans Master Post and Ackerbond / Ackerbonds, and @tsuki-no-ura has helpfully provided a translation of the relevant passages of the Answers book here: Answers Guidebook Interview about Levi and Erwin.

[All translations by @fuku-shuu​ (x),  @ningen-suki​ (x) and @tsuki-no-ura (x).]

[starryoak]

Apparently we’re going to be seeing more of Hobie’s universe and I am SO pumped about that because I have so many questions about how they’ll change it from the official comics, because a lot of Hobie’s universe is so intrinsically American that I can’t wait to see how it changes.

See, Spider-Punk’s universe is one where Norman Osborn became president by either creating artificial copies of or allying with Symbiotes (like Venom), dubbing them Variable Engagement Neuro-sensitive Organic Mesh, or V.E.N.O.M, both bonding with them himself and distributing them to cops and law enforcement everywhere to create super soldiers who could, and in his own words, “Make America Great Again.” His introductory comic depicts this in four pages (one of them a two page spread) where it shows Hobie and his band leading a riot against a wave of cop-Symbiotes called the Thunderbolt Department and using 5,000 watts worth of amps blasting punk music to vaporize the Symbiotes (being weak to loud noises), then personally bashing Norman Osborn’s skull in with his guitar.

Obviously while cops are fucking fascists everywhere, the symbolism of “Make America Great Again” is, well, quintessentially American, so I think it’s pretty clear some of the rhetoric will change, and I really can’t wait to see how it will, honestly. As well, when Hobie says “I hate the PM”, he can be seen tearing a poster of not Norman Osborn, but Kingpin, indicating that he likely is this universe’s equivalent to President Osborn.

As well, his teammates/the Spider-Band are also worth examining, and I really, really can’t wait to see what’s done with them, especially Karl Morningdew.

Karl Morningdew, AKA Captain Anarchy, is obviously intrinsically connected to Captain America, as his universe’s equivalent, but also because he’s Native American, specifically named as the Sentinel of the Cowlitz People. He’s got a not-a-superhero boyfriend named Rick, but that’s not important to this conversation. He’s obviously pretty tied to America, not just in his being very obviously a variant of Captain America with the same powers, but also because his people have lived in America before there was an America to live in, and their oppression by the American government is inextricable to his character. So how they will, or, I suppose, if they will, translate Karl into a British setting is obviously a big question! While not as intrinsically tied to an American identity, he has other teammates who are variants of other Marvel universe characters; Riri Williams, AKA Ironheart, is known as Riotheart in this universe, Mattea Murdock, AKA the Daredevil Drummer of Philly, a counterpart to Daredevil, Kamala Khan, who seems to be pretty much the same + brass knuckles, (will she have her powers changed to fit the new Ms. Marvel show?), and Robert “Robbie” Bruce Banner, a reluctant member of the team who doesn’t actually really want to be there, having tried to give up on that part of his life.

I really, really hope these guys show up, I want to see how they translate these very American characters into the UK, and I think, frankly, they’re really cool and fun!

[lesbianfeminists]

From heart disease to IUDs: How doctors dismiss women’s pain

Several studies support the claim that gender bias in medicine routinely leads to a denial of pain relief for female patients for a range of health conditions

One woman was told she was being “dramatic” when she pleaded for a brain scan after suffering months of headaches and pounding in her ears. It turned out she had a brain tumor. Another was ignored as she cried out in pain during a 33-hour labor. She was supposed to be getting pain medication through her epidural, but it had fallen out. Dozens of women complained of torturous pain as their vaginal walls were punctured during an egg retrieval process. They were told their pain was normal, but, in actuality, they were getting saline instead of anesthesia. These are just some of the stories of women who say their pain and suffering has been dismissed or misdiagnosed by doctors. Although these are anecdotal reports, a number of studies support the claim that women in pain often are not taken as seriously as men.

This year, the Journal of the American Heart Association reported that women who visited emergency departments with chest pain waited 29 percent longer than men to be evaluated for possible heart attacks. An analysis of 981 emergency room visits showed that women with acute abdominal pain were up to 25 percent less likely than their male counterparts to be treated with powerful opioid painkillers. Another study showed that middle-aged women with chest pain and other symptoms of heart disease were twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness compared with men who had the same symptoms. “I was told I knew too much, that I was working too hard, that I was stressed out, that I was anxious,” said Ilene Ruhoy, a 53-year-old neurologist from Seattle, who had head pain and pounding in her ears. Despite having a medical degree, Ruhoy said she struggled to get doctors to order a brain scan. By the time she got it in 2015, a tennis ball-sized tumor was pushing her brain to one side. She needed surgery, but first, she rushed home, hugged her 11-year-old daughter and wrote her a letter to tell her goodbye.

Ruhoy did not die on the operating table, but her tumor had grown so large it could not be entirely removed. Now, she has several smaller tumors that require radiation treatment. She said many of her female patients have had experiences similar to hers. “They’re not validated with regards to their concerns; they’re gaslit; they’re not understood,” she said. “They feel like no one is listening to them.”

Doubts about women’s pain can affect treatment for a wide range of health issues, including heart problems, stroke, reproductive health, chronic illnesses, adolescent pain and physical pain, among other things, studies show. Research also suggests that women are more sensitive to pain than men and are more likely to express it, so their pain is often seen as an overreaction rather than a reality, said Roger Fillingim, director of the Pain Research and Intervention Center of Excellence at the University of Florida. Fillingim, who co-wrote a review article on sex differences in pain, said there are many possible explanations, including hormones, genetics and even social factors such as gender roles. Regardless, he said, “you treat the pain that the patient has, not the pain that you think the patient should have.”

Women say reproductive health complaints are commonly ignored

Women often cite pain bias around areas of reproductive health, including endometriosis, labor pain and insertion of an intrauterine device, or IUD. When Molly Hill made an appointment at a Connecticut clinic in 2017 to get an IUD, she said she was warned it would be uncomfortable, but she was not prepared for “horrific” pain. Hill, now 27 and living in San Francisco, recalled that during the procedure, she began crying in pain and shouted at the doctor to stop. “We’re almost done,” she said the doctor told her and continued the procedure. “It was full-body, electrifying, knife-stabbing pain,” she said. After it was done, she said she lay sobbing on the table in physical and emotional pain. “It felt violating, too, to have that pain that deep in your core where you feel the most vulnerable.”

Studies consistently show that women who have not experienced vaginal birth have much higher pain during IUD insertion compared with women who have given birth. A Swedish study found that among 224 women who had not given birth, 89 percent reported moderate or severe pain. One in six of the women said the pain was severe. Although numbing agents and local anesthetics are available, they are rarely used.

In some cases, women have sued physicians for ignoring their pain. Dozens of women sued Yale University claiming that during an egg harvesting procedure at its infertility clinic, they were supposed to be receiving the powerful painkiller fentanyl. But some women were getting only diluted pain medication or none at all, according to lawsuits filed in the state Superior Court in Connecticut. Later, the clinic discovered a nurse had been stealing vials of fentanyl and replacing the painkiller with saline solution. The nurse pleaded guilty last year and was sentenced for tampering with the drugs. One of the plaintiffs, Laura Czar, wrote about her experience for Elle magazine, describing it as “a horrible, gut-wrenching pain,” and told a doctor at the time, “I can feel everything you’re doing.” Despite her protests, the doctor continued. Yale said in a statement that it “deeply regrets” the women’s distress and has “reviewed its procedures and made changes to further oversight of pain control and controlled substances.”

Racial disparities in pain management

For Sharee Turpin, the pain of sickle-cell disease sometimes feels like tiny knives slicing her open. Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder that can cause suffering so severe, its attacks are called “pain crises.” But when Turpin, who is Black, experiences a pain crisis, the 34-year-old does not rush to the ER in Rochester, N.Y. Instead, she combs her hair, mists some perfume and slips on her “Sunday best” in hopes that the doctors and nurses won’t peg her as a drug seeker, she said. Sometimes, Turpin gets a care team that understands her pain. Other times, she is treated as a bother. “I’ve even been told ‘shut up’ by a nurse because I was screaming too loud while I was in pain,” she said.

Abundant research shows racial bias in pain treatment. A 2016 study found half of white medical students and residents held at least one false belief about biological differences between Blacks and Whites, and were more likely to underestimate Black patients’ pain. “The management of pain is one of the largest disparities that we see between Black people and White people in the American health-care system,” said Tina Sacks, an associate professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of “Invisible Visits: Black Middle-Class Women in the American Healthcare System.”

Labeling women “hysterical” or blaming psychological causes

Research shows men in chronic pain tend to be regarded as “stoic” while women are more likely to be considered “emotional” and “hysterical” and accused of “fabricating the pain.” Carol Klay, a 68-year-old from Tampa, had endured years of chronic pain from arthritis, degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis. During a hospital stay last year, her doctor noted in her medical record that she was crying “hysterically.” Klay said she was crying because she was unable to sit, stand or walk without agony, and the doctor had removed morphine from her cocktail of pain medications. She wonders whether the doctor “would have called me hysterical if I was a man,” she said. Tampa General Hospital said it could not discuss specific patients, but stated: “Patient treatment plans, including medication orders to reduce pain, are prescribed by multi-disciplinary clinical teams.” Research shows women’s physical pain is also often attributed to psychological causes.

Jan Maderios, a 72-year-old Air Force veteran from Chipley, Fla., said the trauma of having pain dismissed by doctors has stayed with her for years. She saw about a dozen doctors in the early 1970s for pelvic pain. When clinicians could not identify the cause of her pain, she was referred to a psychiatrist.

“You start to doubt yourself after so many medical experts tell you there’s nothing wrong with you,” she said. After a hysterectomy in 1976, Maderios learned that fibroid tumors in her uterus had been the source of her pain. She said learning her pain was real — and physical — “made all the difference in the world.”

Why women’s pain complaints often aren’t taken seriously

During a 33-hour labor with her first child in 2011, Anushay Hossain, 42, of D.C., opted for epidural pain relief but said she still felt it all — every contraction, every cramp and every dismissal of her pain by her medical team. The doctor reassured her that she was getting the maximum dosage of pain medication.

In fact, she wasn’t getting any at all. She said her epidural had slipped out. By the time the error was caught, she was shaking uncontrollably and in need of an emergency Caesarean section, she said. “There’s a pain gap, but there’s also a credibility gap,” said Hossain, author of “The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women.” “Women are not believed about their bodies —period.”

This pain gap may stem, in part, from the fact that women have historically been excluded from medical research. It wasn’t until 2016 that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) required sex to be considered as a biological variable in most studies it funded. “We’re making progress,” said David Thomas, special adviser to the director of NIH’s Office of Research on Women’s Health. “But we do have a long way to go because there’s this whole institutional approach to doing research — pain and beyond — where it tends to be male-focused.”

Nearly 95 percent of U.S. medical school students said instruction on sex and gender differences in medicine should be included in curriculums, according to a 2015 survey. But only 43 percent said their curriculum had helped them understand those differences and only 34.5 percent said they felt prepared to manage them in a health-care setting.

“It is changing, but it’s changing very slowly,” said Janice Werbinski, immediate past president of the American Medical Women’s Association and chair of the mentorship committee of the association’s Sex and Gender Health Collaborative.

How women can advocate for better pain care

It took decades to solve the mystery of Maureen Woods’s chronic pain. Woods, 64, of Myersville, Md., started having joint pain in her teens and, over the years, told dozens of doctors her pain was “debilitating,” she said. Some told her it was all in her head. In 2017, she was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder often causing loose joints, dislocations and chronic pain. She said women who are not being heard should keep advocating for themselves. “You have to go with your gut — something is wrong and I need to find a doctor who can figure it out,” she said. Marjorie Jenkins, dean of the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, urged women against feeling pressured to accept an “everything is normal” non-diagnosis. “If your provider does not appear to be listening to you or believing what you’re saying, then you need a new provider,” Jenkins said. “You are the client, you are the customer and you are the owner of your health.”

Women can also take a family member, friend or other support person who can corroborate their stories, said Alyson McGregor, an emergency medicine professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville and author of the book “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It.” Particularly in emergency departments, she said, there can be an inherent bias. “There’s this assumption that women are emotional and they’re anxious and that that’s the main issue,” she said.