you know. kinda cringe that we live in a society where the primary acceptable reason to be single is to sell your soul to capitalism. the easiest response to "why aren't you dating anyone?" is "oh, i'm focusing on my career at the moment." man i don't want to focus on my career. i want to live a life where i make enough money to not make work my life and then go home to focus on personal pursuits that aren't dating people or having kids
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Doing this bc I’m scared to and won’t on my own
if this gets 5k notes by October 20th, I will tell my dad about my eating disorder and get help to recover + therapist
Rules:
No spamming
5 notes per person including likes
if either one of those is broken, I’m reducing the time limit, basically making it less likely to hit the goal on time
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE STOP SPAMMING
tagging is okay
Might delete later(sorry!) because I’m scarrredddd, I don’t wanna tell my dad >:l
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yk what, man? I want justice for Nihachu. The dsmp fandom and mcyttwt treated her horribly, especially when she started distancing herself from W*lbur and accused the dsmp writing team (headed by him) of pushing her out. She's undergone so much abuse in her life and there is no way her relationship with W*lbur, whatever it was like, was healthy. She deserves so much love and support.
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Thank you for living your truth, @danielhowell. You've helped me live mine, too.
Image Description under the cut:
[illustrated YouTube notification: “Daniel Howell uploaded ‘Basically I’m Gay’”]
Five years ago today, I was lying on the couch in my family home, watching the words of a person I had grown to find pieces of myself in as he bared his soul to the world just to make somebody like me feel a little less alone.
[girl lying on her stomach on the couch, looking at phone]
He said something at the end of that video,
[Illustrated video screenshot of Dan saying “You are valid. It gets so much better.”]
And I’ll never forget hearing those words. Never forget drying my tears, quickly, before my parents came back.
[Three panels: girl wiping tears from face, putting phone down, silhouette walking through front door]
See, the girl on that couch was planning far, far away futures. She couldn’t believe his words just yet, but now she could hope to.
[open shoebox with rainbow flag inside]
Five years later, today, I wish I could tell her:
You don’t have to move halfway across the country to set a flag out on your desk.
[school building and stack of books]
Your parents are coming over tomorrow to help bring you home for the summer. (They’re only an hour’s car ride away.)
[cartoon sun and car]
And see that?
[rainbow flag in a mug with a cat whiskers design]
Yeah, that’s the one decoration you haven’t packed yet.
And that something he said at the end of the video, I still quote it to this day.
[computer playing the Dan birthday livestream with "Misty" on a Zoom call in the corner]
Better yet, I believe it now.
[same girl, older and with shorter hair, holding mug with flag and looking back at someone off-camera that’s saying “Ready to go home?”]
Happy five years of Basically, I’m Gay!
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I see all these posts that are like
“What’s the deal with popular posts on Tumblr, that better not happen to this one!”
“I dunno, this post reads like a 1m note post to meeeeeee”
“oh no how could this have happened no dont oh lordy”
[apollo image]
And I just... I call shenanigans. Look Tumblr is wacky, sure, but that shit doesn’t ACTUALLY get a gazillion notes unless you’re already big enough on here to get those numbers regardless. No amount of “gosh this post better not be big ;)” would ever get any of mine to go above three notes maximum because only a handful of my followers are even real people.
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Sorry just thinking about how Jon starts off episode 22 by asking "Martin, are you sure about this?" and it sounds like a bit of a dickish question but then you remember he took Naomi Herne's statement two months before and he's still having nightmares about it.
And he tries to tell himself they're not real. They can't be real, it's just his subconscious mind throwing this disturbing conversation back in his face every night. But part of him knows Naomi is dreaming this too, part of him knows that they're real, part of him knows.
And he doesn't want to inflict that on Martin. He doesn't want to inflict it on himself, seeing Martin in his dreams every night. But Martin insists, so he takes his statement.
The sheer relief he must feel that night when there are no worms in his dreams. The release of tension, the realization that what happened with Naomi was just a one-off. He's still seeing her, of course, but his nightmares are blessedly Martin-free.
Sasha, he just asks if she wants to wait. He's not worried about giving her nightmares, now.
And then Melanie comes in. And he takes her statement. And when he closes his eyes that night, he finds himself in the halls of an old, crumbling hospital, watching the ghost hunter hold her camera up to the crack in a door, and peer inside.
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liushennnn in my attendant sy au (read right to left)
notes on this au:
sy transmigrates into a new body when sqq fights the system trying to force him out of his body. sqq is livid and decides to take sy as his retainer/secretary/assistant, forcing him to do most of the accounting & administrative work on qing jing peak and work for sqq for free while also helping sqq avoid his tragic fate by telling him spoilers and secrets about the world that sy remembers. sy has no golden core and no cultivation, and cant wield a spiritual sword or fight. sy has no documents, no money, and no prospects. sqq basically provides everything for him & can also take it away. sy moves into the other room in the bamboo house and cleans and organizes as well, although his own room is a mess. sqq never makes it clear what sy's position on the peak is, so all of the disciples follow his orders in fear of disobeying sqq. sy is basically 2nd to sqq, although he doesnt see it that way; he sees himself as sqq's overworked servant. he resents sqq for his control over sy's life, but he's terrified of being kicked out.
sqq takes sy to the peak lord meetings as well, using sy to carry documents, serve tea, and to give him information about anything that might be useful to sqq if it comes up during the meeting. sy also often acts as a messenger for sqq between peaks. he doesnt get much interaction outside of senior disciples and the other peak lords.
since sy's hands are usually full with documents, accounting books, talisman paper, & anything else sqq wants him to carry, sy can't use his fan to hide his face as much. instead he uses his hair & his glasses. his skin is sallow & he often misses meals from running around doing sqq's errands, so he always seems tired. clothes he wears are simple & loose, either slip on or buttoned up. he dislikes loud & bright patterns bc he doesn't want to stand out, but sometimes has no choice bc sqq buys his clothes. sqq will often make him wear more extravagant patterns, even when it makes sy nervous about attracting attention.
since sy seemed to appear out of nowhere to the other sect members, sy is very worried about acting too suspicious and getting kicked out. he copies sqq as much as possible to acclimate to the world and seem unphased & elegant.
sy is very interested in the other peak lords since he interacts with them often, especially liu qingge. liu qingge often catches him staring, but sy tries not to interact with anyone more than he has to. liu qingge usually sees him hiding behind sqq as a buffer. if sy does speak, he does it low & quiet, & if behind his fan if possible.
sy looks like his old body & has long black hair, similarly styled to sqq by his insistence. sy dislikes this.
sqq calls sy "a-yuan" bc sy doesnt like it. sy doesnt like telling people his name though bc it makes ppl think theyre related, which he also doesnt like, so he doesnt stop sqq from indroducing sy as "a-yuan". this makes it very difficult for other ppl to know what to call sy in fear of being too familiar
sy does meet sqh earlier in this au, and he helps him as much as he can get away with behind sqq's back. since sy is less bound by the system than sqh is, sqh sometimes "sponsors" sy to do things he himself cant do.
sy calls sqq the equivalent of "sir".
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