#just some thoughts i gotta share

[randomcinematicuniverse]

M2D HC(?): I kinda wish we had an episode where Nicole is the sole babysitter to Gracie for a day, like the dads are both out & Nicole's left in charge of the loft & taking care of the baby. Just Nicole being the best big sister (figure) ever to Gracie. I would've loved to have Ben come back & visit too. Make all three of them - Nicole, Ben, & Gracie - a special pseudo-sibling trio, you know?

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Folks, I come with important news from a dndads patreon monthly discord chat.

Anthony thinks Terry would crochet.

This has been a public service announcement, thank you.

[moeblob]

Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!

I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.

[samarecharm]

I miss goro. Bring his bitchass back

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Not sure if this is where you want your asks to be sent or not, I'm new to your blog so sorry if this is the wrong place

There is another instruction for Wally that I haven't seen you talk about and I want to know your thoughts! Back in november, before the responses, the secret URLs (such as woxyve) had the word "delete" added to the end (ex: woxyvedelete) implying that they wanted Wally to delete the page. After this most recent update it changed again and now says nodelete meaning that Wally refused to do that task. Thoughts?

where else would asks be sent if not the Askbox! inbox! both!

i actually wasn't aware of this until a few days ago, when i saw a post pointing it out - i had never gone directly back to those pages. which serves me right! i'm gonna be double checking Everything from now on lmao

but my fucking GOD is it interesting. thus far Wally has been... fairly cooperative. he's had a moment here and there, such as closing the guest book and losing his patience a lil, but he does his best with the rest! especially with requests! so for him to straight up go "lmao nah" when asked to delete something...

characterization-wise, i think it's very telling. as of now, Wally has been commonly portrayed as a bit of a doormat - getting talked over, sitting off to the side, being a bit of a background character - in in-Home media. less so in his whrp/qa/You interactions, but he's still widely agreeable & willing. but him refusing to delete the urls gives major points to him Having A Spine. he's holding his ground. he knows what he's doing. he's not going to let the whrp shut him up. there's a Thought Process / Plan / Purpose being shown here, or at least hinted at. there's a sense of.... Control. of "this is the way we're doing things, this is what i'm saying and you're going to sit down and listen" it's just... such a shift from the Wally we see in his interactions with the neighbors. which again, lends credence to there being a time discrepancy, with whrp Wally being older and more "experienced" while past Wally is still figuring his shit [being alive] out <3

story-wise it adds some Delightful friction. like obviously there's already tension, what with the staff only page, "Let Me In", the mysterious black stuff, the guest book closing, and the whrp/qa being disturbed by it all. but Wally outright refusing to delete things is a Different sort of conflict. it's more... direct. which makes sense! his interactions with the whrp/qa are becoming more personal, too. but it lends to the feeling of a push-pull. as the whrp/qa investigates Wally and starts treating him like the person he is instead of a long-lost character, they're probably gonna clash (a lot) despite the apparent impulse to pursue Welcome Home. currently, Wally doesn't seem big on compromising. if he doesn't know what to do, it looks like he simply Won't or he'll do his own thing and be like "shrug". if he doesn't want to do something, it also looks like he simply Will Not.

of course, there's the strong possibility that the whrp Were Not Serious about it. the 'delete' command might have them testing the waters, poking the bear, etc. but then were they testing to see if Wally is there, or were they testing his level of compliance? both? a secret third option?

and if they Were serious about it... why? what is it about the marked urls that made the whrp go "get that outta here"? and why couldn't they delete it themselves? i mean, obviously they can't delete anything Wally adds, otherwise the extra stuff he's added probably wouldn't be there (unless the impulse / curiosity driving them is too strong to delete anything added). but there's still a why about it. what changed so fundamentally in the site's code - or laws of physics/reality - that made it impossible to alter Wally's additions?

it's just. i feel that there are a lot of implications in such a small interaction. it shows more than one would expect.

[dulcebot]

DON'T GIVE ME IDEASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and when hiraeth releases their final mini album before a year long hiatus or more so poppy can focus in her health + kaia can do her own things + yvan can do musicals and do whatever projects they want because in the dulceverse yvan will be glinda for wicked instead of ari bc i can do whatever i want this is my silly universe and i can do whatever but two months in and vivi's rent is due and the lights are flickering and the eviction notice is at the front door and none of the girls are answering her calls despite them being together at poppy's vacay home in lake como so she had ONE chance and ONE dream she had NO OTHER CHOICE so she got out a dusty and retired angel of the season project and got these three talented girls from diff companies that she's been eyeing to be hiraeths little sister unit and it's all fun and games until the new girlies don't do good because there will never be another hiraeth / another kaia poppy and yvan and they have a lot to carry on their shoulders even during predebut and there's a lot of self doubts and hesitance and insecurity and tension between vivi and even themselves and it becomes a really big problem where they don't stand each other or just refuse to understand each other and it will be a story of them slowly becoming and understanding that they are their own person, either alone or together as they try to carry on a legacy even when they are not hiraeth they are THEMSELVES!

LORE SPEAKING they were born / created by "mother" the exact day each seasonal angels broke their own loop by eating their forbidden fruit = giving into temptation and they are little angels who were born to parallel hiraeth as hiraeth weren't "pure" anymore but ffs the little sisters wanted to be like them wtf....... and then they were left behind in celestias castle or palace i don't remember what it was and they hold some kind of grudge because why did they leave and not us?! why did they not took us with them?! but eventually hiraeths doctrine cult like messages gets to them and they are not ready to break their loop but instead they start shaking things up in celestia's castle palace whatever and being a pain in the ass for "mother" because they are sharing to other angels that they could be and do more outside mothers doctrine and this even makes the little sisters realize that they are their own person/angel and they are not the seasonal aengels as much as mother wanted them to be and maybe they start their own "cult" and its not like "mother" can force them to leave celestia because they are perfect w no sins!

[numbbrainstrorm]

Can I request a Tarn drawing if you’re still doing them?

*ahm * accept?

I squeezed you in (my Now full, "time Calendar") just so I could make this joke ( my top tier joke)

Anyways

Torn

[carcarrot]

letterboxd if you even care. still very much in progress but hii

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Soooooo I wrote this incredibly self-indulgent thing about Miles. I have many feelings about how he keeps himself so tightly in control. It's gotta go somewhere.

Disclaimer it's quite dark, so mind the trigger warning and keep yourself safe <3

TW: self-harm, not what I would consider graphic descriptions, but it is the central theme and way more than a mention

The lock clicks. He slips his suit jacket off. Loosens then removes his tie. Untucked, buttons undone. It’s all laid out on the bed. Step by step. Shoes set to the side and trousers swapped for silken pajama pants.

The bathroom door closes behind him. The second lock between him and the world. The shower comes on. Towel laid out on the counter.

His drawer, second down on the left. He pulls out the small black bag. Gold zipper. Supple leather. Inside, his collection. Three packs of new razor blades. An open pack of blades; used ones tucked into the back. A single hypodermic needle. A crafting knife. Two unopened band aids.

The rest of the drawer’s contents is ignored, antiseptic and suture kits, butterfly closures and rolls of gauze, in favor of practiced hands sliding the tin of blades from the bag and the blade from the tin.

He sits on the toilet, lid down. Elbow straight. Fist clenched. The first slice with a small inhale. Bright and sharp and stinging. Familiar and comforting. Line after line as red blooms from the wounds. The ecstasy second only to the Kiss. Rivulets follow gravity down. Strategically placed tissues catch the mess.

Stained crimson, they fall into the waste basket. He flexes his wrist, testing the pull of the broken skin, blots the last of the blood away. Blade inspected and stowed; everything returned to it’s place. Pajamas folded on top of the toilet, he steps into the shower.

[spaceacerat]

Don't know why I've been feeling compelled to write this but. Something some people don't realize is how weird delusions can be. How for some people, they're just There and you live with it and no one knows about it unless they're really paying attention or you mention it.

So here's a little insight into a long held delusion. Putting it under a read more so people that want to not see it don't have to.

CW - delusions, surveillance, persecutory

Like. Imagine this. You are 3-5 years old, hanging out in your bedroom. Basically one of your first memories, right?

Anyways, your guardian calls out "hey, almost time for bed! Go ahead and change." You get your clothes, go to change. Then you look around and you get really tense and know you Can't, because you realize the toys and photographs with eyes are all facing your direction.

Why does that mean you can't? Because somehow, even before you could remember, you were completely and utterly convinced basically anything with eyes had little cameras that were spying on you. The most advanced piece of hardware you'd ever seen was your parents bulky VHS camera. No computers, webcams, cellphones. Nothing that could reasonably spy on you like tech these days does. You have no concept of Big Brother or the Truman show, very little understanding of the government, but you Just Know it is happening.

Then, after you get everything turned around or covered, and you feel ready to change, but then your pet walks in. You look at them and immediately know you have to get them out of the room too. Your brain goes in two directions as to why. One side is convinced that the pet also has cameras in their eyes, sent to spy on you. The other is convinced it's a human that got turned into an animal, once more to spy on you and report back. Which one doesn't matter, because obviously one is true, and thus you must take the necessary precautions. You shoo the pet out. You feel safe and ready to change clothes now.

Then imagine this thought follows you into adulthood. You've gone your entire life thinking you have eyes on you from all angles. Eventually, it grows into recorders, bugs (the mic-type), microphones, webcams, phone cameras. Your idea on who is recording you changes on the life situation (friends, family, neighbors, some secret organization, cops, the government), but you've never wavered from this idea even though sometimes people can rationalize you out of it briefly. But it's Still There. Medication doesn't even stop it.

Sometimes it's after someone you know leaves your place, and you're convinced they bugged the house. Sometimes it's that a family member has put cameras up to catch you off guard. Sometimes it's that the neighbors are recording you through the walls, or from your open window, or outside your house. But most of the time, it's just this vague 'Other' that is watching through these imaginary cameras. Waiting. You don't know why or what for. You. Just. Know.

However, after so long of living like that, you've learned how to deal with it. It's just a part of your day to day. You believe it at all times, to some degree, some days more strongly than others. It's worse as technology gets more invasive, but it's rarely the technology you worry about. That can be unplugged, covered, seen, avoided. You can control what information that has access to, to some degree. But you can't control the things you can't see. The things you cherish that you would have to tear apart just to see if it's real, things you want to be able to look at because it still brings joy so you keep it in your room.

You live with it so you don't have to expend constant energy trying to keep it from happening, even if it makes it hard to speak or act freely in the places that are meant to be safest. You learn to change turned away from the things in your spaces. You try not to do anything embarrassing or talk about illegal things too often or too loudly. Who knows what this information will be used for, but sometimes when you think it's neighbors, you think they're going to report you for Something.

It confuses the people you mention it to, they try to reassure you, but it only helps temporarily. Nothing fixes it. Nothing makes it go away. But that's okay.

That's just your life. In your mind it has been there, and might always be.

[anthromimicry]

... do i dare say this is misao whenever she tries to get herself amped up for actually opening up to people JSJSJ

[nyanykamito]

I really want to create a rp group, apply few elements from DnD (such as dice rolls to help determine choices and what not), use Original characters and have fun!

We'd meet maybe once or twice a week or few times a month, just see what times work for everyone.

It would be an original story, I'd set up the the structure, the rp group would be a relatively small group maybe 6 people because larger groups are harder to keep track of. And before we rp we'd cross off anonymously what people aren't okay with. (Exa: if you have a fear of spiders, we won't rp an episode where characters are surrounded by spiders or something crazy. )

We could also do mini rp sessions that could act as side stories for the people who are free to rp, and these wouldn't be mandatory at all. They'd be time killers for the people who want to Rp and have time to kill.

You'd just need:

Original character ( have them a little fleshed out character wise, personality and how they look, maybe background. I'll probably create character sheet template to help make info easier to access.)

Creative inspiration (Being able to draw or reference what your character looks like and help keep the story moving along.)

Meet at least once a month (set aside time to role play (it'll be on discord), how long rp lasts will depend upon the group. (If you miss 3 Rp you'll be removed along with your character and we'll bring somebody in. Only exception is if your having irl stuff happen,cause sometimes shite happens. ))

Must be of age, 18+

[batfossil-fr]

fun fact. I have gotten anon hate for posting my dragons here before. not once. but multiple times. I think about them a lot and have a little giggle each time

[akai-anna]

[end-orfino]

It just all feels more pointless now. I think i lost some of the spirit. I dont know if its temporary or how to get it back