#just such unreal behaviour with these things

[mollyolikeme]

.......

90's kids:

[synthville]

the thing is.

raffi isn’t half as strange or off-putting as she could be. given how she processes things and her vices she really should be so much more of an audacious eccentric obsessive schemer (love) and also just the biggest liar to ever do it. meddlesome as hell but it comes back to bite.

she’s got all the connects but also she’s been banned from multiple planets. it’s fine. she didn’t want to go back to any of them anyway. her access was revoked so why does she know so much about seemingly unconnected classified events and titbits. why don’t you. she happened upon that information. as one does. what’s with all the questions. smooth talks her way in and out of stupid situations daily because she can’t leave well enough alone and just has to get answers. she does not get her answers. rabbit holes that spawn labyrinths. whatever the futuristic version of a red string board is. rios breaking into her quarters because it’s been days and she’s replicated an alarming amount of wine but very little food and he hates the EMH but the nosey holo is right this cannot stand. she tries to be present because it was her idea to visit that one spa like planet in the first place but it’s physically impossible for her not to bring up whatever theory it is that’s plaguing her this time around. there’s something just outside her periphery and once she connects the dots she’ll let it go. really. the great pretender. an actual reckoning with her addiction and what’s at the root of it. why constantly numbing herself with various substances didn’t actually work. she can fool everyone but not herself. at least not well. all the fallout with people she loves that now want nothing to do with her (gabe?? hello that thread alone is so much) because of all the times she recklessly dismissed or used them for her own means all the while convincing herself it was about the big picture. being real with herself about the reality of starfleet and why she wants in so badly anyway. greater good huh. her tricked out encrypted tech because why accept bland federation equipment or adhere to legal limits when she can make things that much more fun with a little tweaking. that unassuming little trailer is fortified as fuck. eyescan fingerprint alphasymbolic code physical lock to even get past the front door. and obviously her tech self destructs upon intrusion this isn’t amateur hour. she might be living in a semi utopia but you still not about to catch her slipping. any and all conversations between cybernetist agnes jurati and intelligence officer raffaela musiker. rios needs them to stop making unauthorized changes to la sirena and cut it out with the emergency holo roundtables. everything to do with her and seven but twice the stubborn gay ridiculousness and entwinement. everyone is alive and well and in their rightful timelines. salivating. she’s barely putting in her weird girl hours and already people can’t take it imagine if they just leaned into making her a possessive obsessive little freak (positive!) and wrote/depicted everything with care? the layers. a hyper-competent-women-with-massive-issues-lover’s dream and the nasty bros and bigots who can’t fathom anyone other than a bland white guy as deserving of complexity or relevance would die on the spot amen. id EAT.

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

[shooting-love-arrows]

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎'𝐬! 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃

SYNOPSIS: It was a beginning of a new day for 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 and he'd make damn sure it was just as perfect as every other one. PAIRING: 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 x reader (gender not specified) tw. possessive/obessive behaviour, control problems, decieving, yandere tendencies. A/N: It is an Alternative Univerese and based on a scene from a TV series "Amazing Mrs Maisel"

masterlist

He had to be quick and sleek. 

It was early in the morning, just some time before your alarm clock would ring. It was the sunrays that woke 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 up, bringing him back into the heaven on Earth he has come to know by your side. It’s a little trick he does the night before by leaving the curtains slightly open, since he couldn’t set an alarm clock himself.

You can’t know his little secret. 

So with one look filled with tenderness and love thrown at you, under the cloak of the early hours and shielded by you sleeping like a rock, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 sneaked out of your warm, shared bed.

He shivered, feeling cold only wearing his nylon*, frilly nightwear. Goosebumps appeared on his skin which he currently had no time to take care of.

"The winter is coming alright." 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 thought, noticing how the windows in their bedroom frosted. He made a mental note to turn on the central heating as soon as go downstairs. But that’s for later, for now he carefully maneuvered his way to the bathroom right by your bedroom. 

The magic happened after he quietly closed the door, for now separating you from him. Left alone, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 began to make himself presentable for you. 

Starting with a cap of strong mouthwash, he then moved on to brushing his teeth so that his breath won’t stink and his teeth will continue to be clean and white. Then, he deeply cleaned his face of any leftover night creams he applied shortly after you fell asleep the previous night and applied a finish lotion. A dash of makeup on his eyelids, cheeks and lips so it’ll look natural. Then he proceeded to free his hair of curlers and brush through them until they laid into a certain hairstyle he always wore. And lastly, a few pumps of the perfume you gave him for his birthday. (He simply adores your choice of scent and never fails to wear it with pride)

Before walking out, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 took a moment to take a look at himself one last time. Anyone would say that his reflection showed a perfect image of the househusband you could often see in the magazines. Yet, the only opinion that mattered to him was yours. 

Everything he did – created and keeps creating – is for you. Only you. And he will gladly continue to do so for as long as you live.

With that, just like he left, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 re-entered your bedroom. Now after his morning routine, looking fresh and all pretty, his appearance was anything but a person who just woke up. He looked beautiful but at the same time, unreal. Unnaturally beautiful...

Swiftly, yet gracefully so that you wouldn't wake up before the alarm clock, he climbed back on your bed. Quickly, he adjusted the sheets around him, laid down on his side so that his back was turned towards you and took a deep breath, before finally closing his eyes.

Riiing! Riiing! Riiing!

The sound of your alarm clock rang precisely at 6:00 A.M. Blaring sound ripped away the peaceful silence and slowly aroused you from your deep sleep. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 had to refrain from smirking, as he felt the bed shift behind him. You were awake! 

And that meant one thing…

Seconds later, just like everyday, he felt your lips plant a sweet kiss on his cheek. A soft smile appeared on his face instead and a soft plush appeared under the blush he had applied. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 ‘woke up’ to your kiss, fluttering his eyes open. Much to his heart's joy, his gaze connected with yours. 

Your face was something he always wanted to wake up to. Your eyes were still sleepy, your face so lovely to look at and your hair all messy. In those mornings, you could just be you. His to admire, to touch, to experience. 

His, his, his…

"Good morning, sweetheart." Your raspy voice broke him out of the daze he fell into. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 eyes burned with love for you, gazing up at you like you were the only person existing in this world. He lifted his perfectly manicured and soft hand, placing it on your cheek and rubbing it affectionately.

"Good morning, darling." 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟎’𝐬! 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 sent you his signature million dollar worth smile.

"Is it me or are you getting even more devine day after day?"

Yes, it was the beginning of another perfect day.

All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.

[qualityrain]

i miss them!! so much!!!

[spitdrunken]

more bill please. i need him to laugh at me and talk to me in a very sweet voice about how dumb and weak i am and how i only need him. maybe put his fingers in my mouth as a treat

notes: humiliation (!!!), implied mind-reading, implied obsessive behaviour, bill is mean(!!!) and finally: unreality warning (sorry for doing something creative with your request at the end /lh)

"aww, look at you! poor little meatbag, leaking soooo much from your mouth-hole..." he speaks with unrestrained glee, laughter always seconds away.

bill's fingers are digging into your mouth. your jaw hurts from being open for so long. though they're relatively small, his fingers still count as intrusions. he digs them into your molars, and rubs them along your gums. he dips them into the spit gathered underneath your tongue, and tugs at the muscle in question. it'd be more difficult not to drool all over yourself in this situation.

"must've been soooo hard to live your life before i came around, huh? so stupid and silly i'm surprised you even made it this far! just so you know, there really have been multiple points in your life where you almost died, without even knowing it... but now you have me! even a dumb meatsack like you can cling to existence when you've got a guy like me looking out for you, huh?"

(still, as much as it humiliates you, you cannot deny that this is doing something for you. your face is ablaze, your heart is racing, your breaths are quick. if you try, you can perhaps convince yourself that it's fear, rather than anything else.)

when you simply close your eyes, you can almost imagine that bill is telling you the sweetest things. he speaks to you with the tone and cadence of an owner fussing over their still-waddling puppy, the knowledge of superiority ever-present. but, really, bill's voice is too shrill for any whispering of sweet nothings. it shatters any semblance of peace.

"i take offense to that, you know! when someone's indulging some of your deepest fantasies, the least you can do is not insult the guy." the demon in question chirps. the lighthearted manner in which he says it is a mere smokescreen. if your mere instincts telling you so aren't enough, his fingers dip in too far down your throat and you gag, bile tickling the furthest edge of your throat.

"sorry..." you garble around his fingers, tongue twitching and curling around them in an attempt to get the message across. bill merely hums in response, pinching your tongue once more for good measure.

"it's okay," bill cooes at you. "i know it's not your fault. so many lives bouncing around in your noggin somewhere, just out of reach. you're just a single-faced, single-minded vessel for something much, much larger than yourself, aren't you? and that's the most interesting part about you."

for a moment, your mind halts and stutters, wondering if you made it up. this is not... sexy talk, is it? this is not like anything you were expecting. in all honesty, you're a bit confused. bill is no longer looking at you. instead, his pupil is darting all over the room, seeming to search for something, but failing to find it. in the end, he merely looks up.

"i know you're there. seeing this all through this... blank slate. i know everything, and you, you--" he laughs, shrill and short. "you are practically oozing with desperation. you are! look, kid. i get it. i'm a real catch. but instead of reading words on a paper, maybe just summon me instead, huh? i'm sure we can come to some kind of agreement! ...but maybe if you try hard enough, some of your words might reach me, too."

bill pulls his fingers out of 'your' mouth and, though they're still slick with spit, he snaps them. "end scene!"

[sweetwolfcupcake]

A Gentleman

Secret Garden

Category: Drabble

John Wick x Reader

Warning: Yandere/Obsessive behaviour, stalking.

Unedited

There were a few subtle traits she had noticed about John. Like, while walking on the side path, he would always take the side of the road, while keeping her on the safer one. He also walked a step behind her– not something immediately noticeable but while walking back to her house from the grocery with him for the fourth time, she couldn't help but take notes of the pattern.

“Didn’t you bring your car?”

John shrugged “No, needed some fixing. Besides, I prefer to walk sometimes.” 

There was a hint of something akin to a smile on his face. Under the golden glow of streetlights, his eyes seemed to have a language of their own. (Y/N) bumped into him at the store often. John was the kind but aloof neighbour she thought everyone needed at least once in a lifetime.

She did not see him often, except for grocery shopping and sometimes, he would sit by himself on one of the few isolated park benches, watching, or thinking-- one could never tell from afar.

It was a miracle that he spoke to her first— he did not seem to be of the kind to initiate any conversation— but speaking to him felt good. She never heard his voice raised– his quiet, deep voice along with dry humour was appealing to her, and in (Y/N)’s dictionary, the number of times they had walked back to their apartment building together and made random commentary on things and people (mostly her) with the sprinkle of John’s dry humour, she and he could be considered friends.

He carried three bags– one his, two hers while she was allowed to keep the lightest one for herself. He was quite old school regarding such mannerisms, she had come to realise that. And while she there would be countless arguments against it, she had come to like his ways. The courteous, elusive and somewhat aloof enigma of a gentleman who was always high on his traditional manners, always polite and often fed stray cats and dogs.

Everything about John indicated that he was a good man. So, she never had a second thought before inviting him into her apartment for coffee. He had carried her grocery bags all the way to her home, at least she could make him feel welcome and comfortable. 

She was sure he would politely decline but he just gazed down at her for a momant or two before asking-

“Are you sure?”

She blinked. “Yes? Yes, John, please come in, I have no problem.”

His gaze melted from the strange intrigue to something soft, almost amiable. She was sure she saw the corner of his lips quirk up a bit before she opened her door wider and invited him in.

“How do you like your coffee?”

“Huh?” he was distracted, looking around when she asked.

“How would you like coffee?” She asked again with an amused smile.

“The way you make it.”

Smooth.

“Okay, please take a seat.” With that, she went into her kitchen, preparing two steaming hot cups.

John sat on the sofa– it felt unreal to be in her home, invited. His eyes glanced at the ceiling fan above— the small opening blinked green twice before disappearing into the darkness– the usual cycle of every two hours. He glanced at his phone, the live video of him sitting in her livingroom showed that the device worked just fine.

His eyes found her form again, moving around to make coffee, oblivious to his eyes fixed on her form– silent, observing and moving along with her– noting each movement with a strange kind of fixation and tenderness. 

She was, unlike him, so defenseless, unguarded, alive…

John glanced at the ceiling fan again before dropping his gaze right before she turned around with a smile and two steaming mugs.

He could not help but feel his heart thump. His calm and collected surface shook at the sight of her beaming smile.

He needed the camera. She needed him.

He told himself as he accepted his coffee, relishing the way her fingers grazed against his.

****

Inspired by @johnwickb1tsch's Bittersweet. I realised that as soon as I finished writing with my eyes half-open. Go read the amazing fic.

So, what do you think? Should I post something darker or keep things on edge for now?

[amymbona]

Being involved with Tashi, Patrick and Art - headcanons

It was really difficult to put this together without revealing my deepest secrets and ideas, just in case I finally write a full fanfiction one day 😔 Also... Is my Patrick bias showing?

At first, you are nothing but an ordinary girl at Stanford, having no involvement with tennis whatsoever. You find your way towards the sport though, or rather the people playing it, as you're a kind soul who offers tutoring lessons and writes articles in the school newspaper.

The first person to notice you is Art - the social butterfly himself - as the two of you share some classes, and he recognizes you on the court one day. You surprise him, though, by slipping right past him and running straight towards Tashi.

The moment she first sees you, all thoughts about tennis and school and Patrick evaporate from her brain. Suddenly, her mind is full of you. You're hers and she's yours.

It's such an unbelievable thing for Tashi to do, become almost obsessed with somebody, to the extent that she counts days until the new number of the newspaper comes out and she can read the interview you did with her. Even Art notices and he finds it quite silly, considering the odd dynamic that Tashi and Patrick's relationship has. And it's no secret he has a crush on both of you.

Pretty soon, you become Tashi and Art's thing - their friend that they both desire, while desiring other people as well - they make sure you're sitting at the bleachers for every match and show off in front of you. And you adore them deeply, finding them to be the best tennis players at Stanford.

They introduce you to Patrick, someone so similar and yet entirely different to them. The guy scoops you up like a tsunami, offers you your first ever cigarette and treats you as if you two have grown up together. Whatever Art and Tashi like, he likes as well.

The four of you finally get closer over multiple shared cans of beer - something nostalgic, a deja vu for the three that they don't tell you about - and all three of them ask to kiss you. You let them, of course.

Somehow, all three of them want you, need you so badly, all while still wanting one another. You become some sort of a glue which keeps them together - even though they were functioning almost perfectly before you showed up - and none of them notice the showing cracks which you failed to glue up.

Some time passes, you become Tashi's best of friends, her safe space and the only person she's willing to display her vulnerability in front of. The effect you have on her is unreal, she's genuinely at her best, healthy, taking care of herself, and all of that just because of you.

Patrick visits more often as well. Both him and Tashi seem to fight for your attention, so it's natural neither of them really minds, considering they are almost actively trying to cheat on each other with you. But you love both of them, plus Art, too equally and too much to nice any different in their behaviour. If anything, you're just happy that you found yourself in such a lovely group of friends.

You're with Art, both of you waiting for Patrick, when Tashi's injury happens. You clutches your hand like you're her guardian angel in the infirmary, begging you not to leave her, just don't leave her alone. When Patrick runs in, trying to talk to Tashi, you're lost, completely. And when Art kicks his best friend out - for reasons totally unknown to you - you're baffled. What is going on? Eager to get an answer, you run after Patrick, abandoning Tashi.

After that, crumbles into pieces. Patrick wouldn't talk to you, suddenly seeing Art and Tashi's influence in yourself and he can't stand that, because you were their first. And even if you choose to go after him, he knows he can't have you. Nor can he have Tashi and Art.

Tashi is devastated, she feels hurt and betrayed, even though you have visited multiple times at the hospital and brought her fruit and fresh clothes. Art spends most of his time by her side, and somehow, he's excused from school to provide her much needed support. She doesn't want you there.

Few months later, Tashi has completely erased you from her life - almost unwillingly, and despite your attempts to reach out and offer her your support - and leaves Stanford after some time. So the only one of the three who you remain in contact with is Art. His presence feels like a ghost's, he only reveals that he hasn't talked to Patrick once since that day and that Tashi is healing. Physically. But it's clear that mentally, she is completely devastated.

You graduate from Stanford by yourself, leaving everything behind the gates of the school, and get employed in an editorial office. It proves to be difficult to completely forget about the boys, since they are both very much active and have pursued tennis. And just to your luck, you've been promoted to a sports journalist.

Due to your profession, you're one of the first people in the world to discover that Tashi Duncan has married Art Donaldson and she's now his coach. It's like a punch in the gut when you are the one to interview the player at the US open in 2012 - many years after the whole Stanford drama.

He answers all your questions, his voice as soft as you remember it, and he tells you how pretty you look after you turn off the voice recording. You only thank him simply, and leave the place as quickly as possible, slipping right past Tashi without sparing her a glance.

About a year later, you run into Patrick - it's the most random of encounters - but the two of you just bump into each other at some random match where he's playing. And you learn that he is completely miserable, having slipped down from the peak of his career and still playing mainly to keep himself living at a decent level. He tells you he hasn't spoken to Art nor Tashi in years.

Few words in, few tears later the two of you end up drunk - completely fucking wasted, actually - and move it to the closest hotel room. Another night follows and then Patrick invites you for an actual date. That day, you discover a completely new person, a Patrick you never knew could actually exist under all that bravado.

One reckless decision follows another and you accept the silver ring that Patrick slips on your finger. The proposal is fairly romantic but simple and spontaneous at the same time, a pretty sunset in the background to make it look like a fairytale.

As Patrick's fiancée and later a wife - and as a journalist as well - you accompany Patrick to some matches. Yes, he has managed to crawl a bit higher again, having found much needed motivation in your presence and kindness. Just like you used to be an angel to Tashi, now you're one to him. Speaking of Tashi, it's inevitable, meeting her and her husband again.

It appears like a shot from a movie - hand in hand with Patrick, you stand in front of Tashi, who's hair is now a lot shorter, and not so cheery looking Art. All four of you are pretty unsure who to look at first. Luckily, Art is not here to play, but the two have been offered tickets to promote the Donaldson brand. You know the business, make a public appearance every now and then so the world knows they're still relevant.

While you hop away for a quick bathroom break in between the matches, unfortunately, Tashi is there as well. She pulls you into an empty stall and says that both her and Art miss you deeply. She doesn't say a word about Patrick. And she mentions her daughter - Lily - you know about the girl, her baby photos were all over Twitter. Then she kisses you and leaves.

Your and Patrick's relationship is odd, to say at least. It's not like he doesn't love you - god forbid that he feels anything other than deep affection towards you! - but there are just certain gaps. Despite finding nothing but unconditional support from you, Patrick is still unable to open up fully, to accept the loss of his two past loves, even though he has you now.

It's hard to talk about family life when the two of you are at it, and while you wish for a baby so deeply, Patrick can't really give that to you. And that pains him. Because Patrick wants nothing more than for you to be happy in life, but he is too afraid of having such a responsibility over somebody else. He can hardly take care or himself, how would he possibly take care of a baby?

And that's the reason why the two of you eventually divorce towards the end of the year 2017, because you needed something Patrick could never give you. And you wanted it, wanted it more than him. However, you never find another partner to conceive with, you can't bring yourself to fall for somebody else, not after the loss of Art, Tashi and Patrick.

Two years later, you're invited as one of the journalist to the challenger match in New York, completely unaware of the things that are about to happen. When you're getting all set in the hotel, a pretty lady named Helen, who's taking care of your check-in waves at somebody behind you. And that somebody, shows to be Patrick. You run away.

And just around the corner, you collide with Tashi. Ever so gorgeous, she offers you one of her smiles, a tired, appreciative one. There is no mention of the kiss exchanged few years ago. The only thing she says is that Art would love to see you. You tell her you still have the same phone number.

In the evening, as you're getting ready to go to bed, he messages you, asking to see you. A bit late for him, as you know he always used to go to bed early, insisting to live a healthy life. You know you really shouldn't, considering the three shouldn't be allowed a way into your life, but you let him come to your hotel room.

There, he crumbles in your arms wordlessly and lets you stroke his hair. You can sense there's something hidden behind his silence, something he'd like to speak about, but is too ashamed to say out loud. Later, he tells you he's retiring at the end of the season. While the two of you lay there in the dark, you stay unaware of Tashi's current meeting with Patrick. Art, he knows damn well.

The following day, everything is at the stake. You are at the stake, but you don't even know that. Stood on the very opposite of Tashi, where she is sat at the bleachers, staring at you through her sunglasses like the picture of guilt and repentance, as stiff as you don't know her.

You keep your eyes on all three of them, failing to note a single detail, to snap a single picture. Nothing. You only only stand there, glued to your spot behind the umpire's chair, watching Patrick and Art battle on the court. It's clear they're fighting for much more than a simple victory.

Art is doing his best but it's clear he's nowhere near as good as Patrick, and he seems to have almost resignated too, while Patrick remains smug and confident. Although his smirk falls every so often especially at those moments when he locks eyes with you. Then, he looks almost remorseful.

At one moment, Patrick takes a while to serve, rolling the green ball between his fingers and then holding it over the empty triangle of his racket. When he fires, Art doesn't budge at all. In front of you, Tashi is awkwardly fidgeting in her seat, her expression hard to read. Now, she seems to be avoiding your gaze.

The match turns into something harsher, fueled by something that's hard to describe, with both of the boys playing like their lives are on the line. Both of them keep gazing at Tashi, while she's trying to escape their eyes. It's messy, it's weird and you don't like it a bit. But then, all three of them turn to look at you. You're still there, watching them play. You haven't left. You never left.

The balls keeps flying left to right, grunts filling your ears, until the boys get so close to the net that it concerns you. At one final moment, the boys collide, hugging over the net separating the two of them like two good friends who haven't seen each other in years. Tashi jumps up, cheering, and you do as well, applauding them with a smile.

[bittersuitejacobs]

• an unhealthy obsession •

{Nate Jacobs/Original Character}

Ophelia is no stranger to wanting. For most of her life it's all she'd been allowed to do, trapped on the outside looking in, window shopping for normal experiences. Ophelia is also no stranger to obsession. Books, movies, TV shows; a terribly ill child who never even had the chance to make a real friend, she took what she could from fiction. All she'd ever wanted growing up, the thing she obsessed over, was someone who could save her, from her life, from herself. Someone who could make her feel alive.

So when her attention is caught by a beautiful, awful boy with a saviour complex, Ophelia vows not to remain a stranger to him either, no matter the cost.

Ophelia may no longer need to be saved, but Nate Jacobs makes her feel so damn alive, so she will turn herself into the kind of girl he wants, needs, and obsesses over too.

• in which Ophelia and Nate are somehow not the worst things to ever happen to each other. •

Warnings: Explicit Smut, Mutual Obsession, Stalking, Manipulative Behaviour, Possessive Behaviour, Infidelity/Cheating, Drinking, Violence, Non-Consensual Drug Use & Sexual Assault, Childhood Parental Abuse (Medical/Psychological/Emotional). Chapters will contain specific warnings.

{ fic playlist }

+ IN PROGRESS +

[ Season One ]

1. spectacle

2. the slate cleaned

3. knight in shining armour

4. according to plan

5. unexpected ink

6. daddy's angel

7. a week of turtlenecks

8. like and subscribe

9. dirty little secret

10. praise kink

11. deja vu

12. little black dress

13. fight flight fawn freeze

14. the aftermath of violence

15. boot theory

16. i quite enjoy ruining your day

17. mutually assured destruction

18. detriments of the modern age

19. justly serv'd

20. sanctuary

21. paper stars

[ Season Two ]

22. resolutions

23. bpm

+ ...

[ Alternate Universe ]

cool for the summer

Nate's been best friends with Lee Chase for as long as he can remember, and Lee's little sister Ophelia has always been... there. The best thing about her is how easy she is to ignore.

But everything changes between them when Lee and his dad go to Fiji for the Summer before their Junior year, and Nate and Lee's moms decide to spend that time holidaying together up the coast, taking the rest of their children with them.

So now, much to Nate's chagrin, he's forced to share a bed with his best friend's sixteen year old sister, who he's barely even had a full conversation with before in his life. But he quickly realises that she's bolder than he gave her credit for. Maybe it's a good thing her brother's on the other side of the world.

Warnings: Explicit Smut, Possessive Behaviour, Underage Drinking, Ongoing Parental Neglect/Emotional Abuse, Compulsive Over exercising as a Form of Self Harm, Mental Healthy & Unreality Struggles. Chapters will contain specific warnings.

1. Reintroduce

2. Reinvent

3. Recontextualise

4. Reconfigure

5. Realise

6. Revitalise

7. Reiterate

8. Reconnect

9. Restring

+ ...

Posting of completed chapters for the main fic will begin in the next few days.

Posting of the AU will begin after Chapter 10 of the main fic and will alternate.

THE TAGLIST IS ALWAYS OPEN !

(just message or comment to be added; I'll add you to the taglist for both unless you let me know you only wanna be tagged for updates from one)

[ak319]

Yan Princess x fem reader

(Warnings: Stalking, Possessive themes)

PART II ➺ PART I

(Kade's Pov):

Fuck everything.

"Kade, what is up with you mate? Huh? It was just a match. You didn't have to storm off like that!. What would they think of us, the seniors? That we are some sensitive babies who can't handle a single loss of a friendly match of rugger?" God, the urge to cut off her tongue right now. My temper has been everywhere since you hung up on me two days ago. And today due to less focus, we lost a rugby football match to a bunch of undergraduate freshmen. We lost. I lost. Now in the locker room, my friend Leah and others were disappointed at my behaviour. It made me more agitated since I had been playing Rugger since I was a high schooler and now I am doing my Master's degree back at Harvard. Leah and I go back to when we arrived here to do a Bachelor's in Economics. And now we are back after a year.

"At least say something, Princess." Oh so this is how it's going to be. That was the last straw. I threw away my shoulder pad and shoved Leah against the lockers immediately causing other teammates to come to pry me off her. We both held each other in a feral stare.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! YOU DARE MOCK ME?! HUH?! DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU HEAR ME! I LOST TO A BUNCH OF FUCKING NEWBIES AND I NEVER LOOSE! I ALWAYS WIN! I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT!" The outburst drew in a brief silence which I could tell was because of shock and confusion. This was the first time my self-control strayed.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Kade?! YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST YOUR MARBLES!." She snapped back.

Before I could land a hit on her, I was pulled off from Leah by Ruth and this time I let go of Leah, both of us still in the guarded stance ready to break each other's jaw if the other one makes a move.

"STOP THIS! BOTH OF YOU! God, It was just a game! Forget about it! Don't make the matter worse by making it reach the dean's office. Get it? You fucktards?!" I let out a huff trying to get my temper in check.

"Never call me a Princess, Leah. You know better than that." Without sparing another glance to others, I just stormed out and went to my dorm slamming the door shut.

I let out a huff and some curses as I threw my duffle bag on the ground and flopped on my bed. I went towards my drawer and took out the burner phone I had brought few days ago and finally decided to use it.

I wanted to check if your number is still off. Which it is. 'God, this woman.' The rage that I feel right now is unreal and the fact that I am unintentionally angry at you makes me more angry. I don't want to be mad at you but the things you do just make me furious.

I took out my own phone and dialed the only person who can assist me at the moment.

Liam. He works in the intelligence. All the information I get about Deniz, is through him.

"Greetings, Kade. How may I be of service?" As formal as always.

"Mhm , yes, Liam. Sup. Um, kindly tell me about her. Any news?"

"Actually, I was just about to call you today but something came up early in the morning."

"It's alright, just spit it out already."

He cleared his throat before continuing. " I got a call from CAA at 10 a.m. today and got told that she had a flight to (your country/city), yesterday in the morning."

What the fuck could have made you--wait, did you go there because of me?

"A-and for how long is she gone for? Come on , tell me the details!"

"It was a one-way ticket and that's it. That's what I've got so far, your grace."

Lord have mercy.

I cut the call and gripped the edge of my bed as I sat and looked down at my feet contemplating. So she ran huh? Quiet cute to be honest.

I let out a tired chuckle and took my shirt off as I leaned against the headboard. Do you want to play like this? You think you can just sit on a plane and never come back.

My eyes wandered to the envelope on my study desk. It was from the palace, informing me about the field matter as if I didn’t already know. I couldn’t help but let another wave of laughter escape my lips. The forest isn’t, well, mine. Sure, I hunted there from time to time, but it’s not in my name. It was just a little game I played with Deniz, with Richard’s help, of course. He did a great job playing my advocate. And so did the Mayor.

Father was not delighted about all of this when he got the whiff of the matter. He along with my family are by now aware of my infatuation for you.

When the first time I saw you playing, I was mesmerized and couldn't get you out of my head. Then I finally asked Reece to introduce me to you. That night, your performance was staggering as always. The way you carried yourself on the field, the sheer determination, your body's agility, everything, just absolutely sublime.

I understand that my method of pursuing you at that time was rather unconventional and serpentine, to say the least, but I had my reasons. Before I could muster the courage to make a proper confession, Reece had already conveyed my feelings to you. Even so, my heart clung to a fragile hope that perhaps you might still say yes. But… no. You rejected me with a coldness that pierced deeper than I ever imagined.

I chose Reece to subtly court you on my behalf, having observed the muted affection you showed her—so evident in the way your eyes softened when you were near her. The smile you gave her, and the shyness that surfaced in her presence, all spoke volumes. I couldn’t resist using this to my advantage, to teach you the lesson that Reece didn’t see you in the same light. Reece herself concurred with my approach.

Nevertheless, how dare you?. How. Fucking. Dare, Reece gets to have you get all fuzzy and not me? I am and will always be better than her. Better than every fucking creature on this land. Is being a Princess a joke to you? It was kind of soothing to at least get to know from Reece that you had broken off contact with her.

The reason that I was so bad at coming forward like a normal person who's interested in you was that at that time, I wasn't aware of the depth of my feelings. My thoughts were clouded by a fleeting desire to simply have you for a night but after getting to know you....I couldn't just use you like that. Even under that tough exterior of yours, I spotted innocence, and a sense of normalcy and the way you were so nonchalant around me, drew me in further. After the rejection though my heart wavered between resentment and affection for you. How could you reject me? Reject Kade Alexander Emsworth? In the end--love prevailed, and here I am.

I tried my best to kick you out of my mind but couldn't even after I dated potential suitors that were getting chosen for me, like Juniper Smith who I even got engaged to at some point, a daughter of some businessman. My heart was not in it though. Because I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you or keeping tabs on you. I couldn't do injustice to her or anyone for that matter, so I broke it off and told my family about it. About this....this sickness that I have. The fucking love I have for you. Oh, what a lethal meld it is of these confusing sentiments inside me. Love, annoyance, the constant craving, excitement...God. Then at the beginning of this year, I tried to reconnect with you but you pushed me away every time and I had to resort to these cheap measures to grab your attention even though it only ended up with me getting cursed back to seven generations, but I am used to it by now. When you go low, I will go lower Deniz.

I got up and took a cold shower. During that, I thought over the current situation and came up with an idea. A splendid one.

Ruth barged into my room as I finished packing and her expression morphed into a puzzled one. "Off to where?"

"England."

"What?! But what about our final project?! We have only worked half of it dude." She gave me a light shove on the shoulder. "For God's sake Ruth , I am not dying. I will work with you all online. Look, it's important for me to leave, princess duties. I just got a call so.."

She heaved a sigh. "Is it because of Leah-

"Of course not, you know we scuffle all the time. You know what? For your sake, I'll apologize to her? Kay?" She nodded with a tight-lipped smile. Everybody knows that Leah and I were like sisters.

════∘◦❁◦∘════

(Your POV)

After arriving at my family's home on the first day, I first relaxed and savoured the comfort of being with my loved ones. Later, I went to my bedroom to call my service provider and get a new number—it’s a routine I’ve grown accustomed to. It was only then that I realized I was crying while doing it.

Why is she doing this? Why can't I be left alone? There is a limit to how many times I can change my number. The thought that she can easily access my new numbers leaves no space for the doubt that I am being spied on heavily. Of course, it's so easy for her to do that. After calming myself down and reminding myself that I am stronger than this, I sat in silence as I took deep breaths.

The events of back in Southampton played back in my head. My job, the forest, Richard's words, 'She takes her duties very seriously.'

It's that damned city where I first met the piece of shit for God's sake.

I went to the police numerous times, even to the London Metropolitan, but they never took me seriously. Why would they? Who would believe someone accusing a princess? They looked at me as if I were delusional, schizophrenic, just another obsessed girl. Why can’t they see that it’s the other way around?

Only my family can provide me the warmth. And talking about family, I really thought about all of this. So I told them everything. From the start. And they did their best to first comfort and support me and then my father just straight up told me to resign and stay here with them. To be honest, I had thought about it after I got to know about her intervention in the field matter. But I really loved my job. It broke my heart to realize that I would have to give up so much just to have peace of mind. But I had to do it.

It was the morning after, and here I was playing cricket with two of my cousins and some neighbourhood kids in our backyard, feeling much better. In the back of my mind, I was still waiting for Clara's response to my resignation e-mail that I sent her this morning.

Your mum called you from inside saying that Clara was calling making you dash inside to answer the phone.

"What's all this? Are you for real?" Despite her firm tone I could make out the pain in her voice. What else did I expect?

"Clara-" I paused and went to the privacy of my room first. "It's--it was really hard for me to do this but I have to. I have to for myself and for our organization, your organization, Clara."

"What the fuck are you on about?! Can you elaborate here?"

Okay, guess this is time to inform everything her too. Wait--what if my calls are being listened to?. Damn it. What the hell should I do?!

"Hello? Deniz??" I stopped chewing my nails and took a breath. Honestly, I don't give a damn. Hence I spilled everything to her just like I did to my family.

She took in the information and I could just picture her posture and face as she sat on her desk chair , her leg bouncing in frustration.

"God, Deniz. I am going bonkers. This whole situation is bonkers. Why didn't you tell me this face to face!? You should have told me this sooner! Instead, you ran away! We could have confronted that Richard piece of shit in front of the Mayor there and then!"

"I didn't run away! I needed peace! A break! And I --look Clara, please. Try to understand, that could have made matters worse. The field was more important to us at the moment. Try to understand."

"I do understand, Deniz. And don't you, for a second, think that I am not on your side. I am here for you, got it?. I just--could've helped you better here. Could've gotten you hooked with some contacts. Look, I can still help you."

My pace slowed down as I stood in front of my mirror. "How?"

"Media, Deniz. There's so much you could do with the power of it. You just need the support of the people-

I cut her call, turned on my VPN and called her again. "Sorry for that, yeah so, listen --the thing is, if I were to make some video on her what proof would I show Clara?."

"Those teammates of yours in highschool--surely they must have some photos or something-"

"Yes, photos. What do photos prove, Clara? Interference in my job? Constant calling? My phone being hacked or something? No. It just proves that we were 'friends' once. I have nothing against her! She only calls me so I don't even have texts. I would get roasted the shit out of if I post on Tiktok or anywhere. And even those teammates don't know about this current situation of mine and they also will have nothing solid on her except... words." I started pacing again and we both went silent, listening to each other breathe for a minute. As I sat down on my bed, she spoke up again.

"I still can't believe a princess is doing that. Like, she isn't getting enough attention from her mummy and daddy? She was even engaged. I heard once from Alfie but she broke it off. Weirdo." Her comment made me let out a dry chuckle. I couldn't care less about her personal life. But I wished that she had just gotten married to her ex-fiance or anyone by now.

"No, Boss. I think she gets plenty of attention from everywhere, this is the first time she isn't getting any and she is going mad...Clara. I can't help but be afraid. Why can't she just get it that I am not interested in her like that? If I ever decide to be with someone, I want them to be just a normal civilian. I don't want to be with a royal!"

"I get you. Some people have air inside instead of brains. But don't you dare be scared or paranoid! It's not your fault! It's fucking harassment at this point. Deniz, didn't I tell you that the forest was no one's property, it was government-owned, not by some royalty. It was true."

"So--the Mayor would've known about this too, right?" My chest tightened as I gripped my bedsheet in anger.

Clara sighed in frustration. "Of course. God, this is enough to sue them all. ALL OF THEM!!" Of course, she would say that. I couldn't agree more with her though. "At the end of the day--they are all rich sons and daughters of bitches. Always remember these words." She hesitated before continuing. "You know you won't believe that I am going to say this and for the record, I am not saying this to support whatever she's doing but to point it out. People sometimes do batshit crazy things when in love, Deniz."

"So!? That doesn't make it right. I don't even know why she is after me of all people."

"I know , I know. You are absolutely right. It is crazy. Hey you know what? Imma go call the Mayor's office and see if-

"Clara the matter is already settled! You cannot just call and ask 'Hey, I was wondering that did a certain Princess order you to do this cuz of my assistant?' As if they would tell you shit. They must have been paid and they wouldn't disclose anything. I am telling you this now, it's stupid." I heard a bang which indicated that she fisted her desk.

"Look! Let me handle this okay? I have my ways. A call ain't gonna hurt anyone. And I am definitely not gonna mention all of THIS! It remains between us. Imma just talk about the forest ownership, okay? Now, I'll call you later. Take a breather for now, okay? Go enjoy your time. I'll...get you on with you about your... resignation."

"Okay, thank you Clara. Goodbye. Also use VPN while calling me."

"Kay, of course, relax now. Don't beat yourself for these crazy assholes. She won't harm you. Got it?. Goodbye, love." I subconsciously nodded and cut the call. Her words soothed me to a good extent. 'Okay. Relax, Deniz. It's not that serious. Don't think of it as so serious. You are home, back with everyone. One day or another she will find someone else, after all, she is a princess, and she will get tired.'

You went back to the yard and grabbed the ball from your cousin, just praying every second to not receive a call from an unknown number any time soon.

════∘◦❁◦∘════

(Kade's Pov):

"It's getting out of hand now, Kade!. Have some self fucking respect. You seriously cannot be asking for this right now!" My gaze remained hardened as Dad and I stood facing each other.

“Language, husband,” Mummy reprimanded, but we were both too absorbed to pay her any attention.

I was now standing in the living room of the palace, my dad scolding me due to the forest matter and arriving back early.

"Father, I assure you, I am here to solve all of it—once and for all." He kneaded the side of his head, letting his hoary hair spill through the gaps between his fingers.

"Really? How? I just don't get you. Why are you so desperate over her?! You are my daughter! A fucking Princess! And a Duchess too! Have some dignity. No other girl will reject you--do you even know how many good families have their eyes on you for their daughters?!"

"THAT'S THE THING! I DON'T WANT THEM, I WANT HER!" I backed away and took a few steps to calm myself, their disturbed expressions reminded me of the same look my teammates had on their faces in the locker room.

"You all are aware of this! Why can't you just let me be?. I tried 'courting' those girls who you are so fond of! Even got engaged! It didn't work, okay?!. Look, Dad, I will have her here. As your daughter-in-law. Trust me. Very soon. Just do what I requested, please." He turned his back on me as he went to gaze out the window.

"Why can't you accept that she doesn't like you that way. How will the marriage even work, my dear?." Mummy's words made my head snap, and my eyes wandered to the fireplace. The fire mimicked the burning passion inside my heart and I raised my chin proudly.

“It will, Mummy. Are you forgetting how royals used to marry? The worst matches endured because they had to—because they were royal matches and I’m not just some random woman on the street, as Dad said. She’s just…” I paused, offering a gentle smile. “A little shy, scared thing. A bit overwhelmed. I know her. She doesn’t hate me—she’ll come around. Believe me.” I looked at Dad and stepped closer, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulders.

"I won't disappoint you."

"Oh, but your future wife already has, daughter." His words made me swallow a sudden surge of irritation. Yet, his resentment is valid, I can't deny that. Damn Deniz, you already have started family drama without even being here. Such a mischief-maker you are, darling.

"You will love her, Dad. And you too...Mummy. She is lovely, everything I can ever want. Anyway...there is something else I have to discuss with you Dad, but later. For now, I have to go prepare for the event."

"Fine, I will have the arrangements made. But Kade, end all of this as soon as you can, you hear me? This is your last chance, after this, I won't allow any more of this pathetic lovelorn scheming of yours." As if I need his support. I offered a slight bow to both of them and chuckled in excitement.

"I will be forever grateful, your Highness. I promise this is the last time." And made my exit, not missing to wink at Julian who was sitting nonchalantly in a corner, the middle brother who is 2 years older than me. He was silently observing this whole ordeal. I didn't even notice him till now. He always has been a quiet one.

Being the youngest of three children certainly had its perks and did I forget to mention, being a princess too? Haha!

I gave Richard a nod as I spotted him in the hallway and couldn’t help but smirk as I climbed the staircase. Oh, there’s no finer intoxication quite like power, and when you mix it with love and passion, the exuberance that follows is simply unparalleled...

My steps were deliberately relaxed as I walked in the familiar corridors, taking in the sumptuous and grand interior. I will never get bored of this. Damn, I sound so sybaritic right now. It's just--it's like something is changing from within me...because of you. I wonder if there has been a Princess like me before, wandering these halls due to the agonizing yearning for her lover. I think I did read once in the palace's library that there was one by the name of Keira Emsworth, my great, great something. Guess I inherited her genes.

I’m the same Kade who used to feel a twinge of jealousy over my older sister Romana being the heir. But now, the throne means nothing to me. After all, who needs a useless throne in this day and age?

You, however, matter to me more than anything now, you are not my obsession at this point...you are my persistence. A goal, that I will achieve. A challenge I won't fail, and won't give up.

I reached the door of a room, the room that I always somehow return alone to. Every single fucking time. My breath quickened and my fists clenched. Why can't I open it? I straightened up and with a determined sigh, I put my hand on the knob.

"I made sure to keep it spotless while you were away, your Grace." Richard's soft voice spoke from behind me but I just nodded curtly without turning back.

"Good job." He knew that this praise was not only for doing the former chore but his contribution to my plan. Without wasting another second I stepped inside and turned on the lights, but for some reason kept my eyes closed until I locked the door.

Walking a few steps in I finally opened my eyes and surveyed the amenities. This wasn't my personal room. This room, I had specifically asked for to be arranged and decorated for the day I bring you here in this palace as my bride. It's our room. It is to be remained unused and untouched by me till then, just another little game that I made. I chose every single thing for this room. I just hope it's to your liking. I inhaled deeply, savouring the fragrance that filled the air. God, it was the perfume you used to wear. I stalked to the foot of the large downy canopy bed and stood with my arms behind my back.

"Why are you doing this to me, Deniz? You are so cruel. Yet," I was about to sit on the bed but refrained myself. 'No, it's a challenge, don't forget it. Your motivation, Kade. Bring her here first , then touch the stuff.'

"yet, I burn for you. For your love." I pulled out my phone and looked at a picture of you from high school. Although I had newer photos, I was drawn to the old ones for some reason. They evoked a poignant nostalgia for my own youth and the faint moments we shared. I gazed at the image of you in a cricket shirt, leaning on a bat with that charming, adorable smile. The urge to pull you into my arms and never let go, to hear your giggles, was as vehement as ever. I reflected your smile back, imagining you were looking at me.

"I am sorry for what I am about to do Deniz. But I have to, love."

➺Part III

[gatitties]

Ayo I wondering if you could the straw hats or heart pirates with reader who's personality involves them being sarcastic, mischievous and brazenly condescending yet sly and humorous. they also have the genso genso no mi that allows the user to create physical illusions that can be seen by everyone. These illusions are highly convincing and shatter like glass when reader dispels them, or someone breaks them. Their most apparent use of them is creating illusions around their body, either to disguise themselves or for their opponent to target while they escapes or moves unseen to another point of attack.  They also seem to be somewhat resilient to damage. While fighting an opponent, the illusion concealing reader's outfit was not dispelled even after taking or landing some hits.  They also learned to use their devil fruit abilities for psychological manipulation, exploiting the appearance of close friends and families in their enemies to torment and overpower them. Reader at one point displayed their mastery over their devil fruit, where they managed to completely disguise an entire navy ship to physically resemble a marine ship, implying that they could maintain the facade long enough to fool the marines. Their devil fruit awakening would allow the reader to cast illusions from any object or living thing from their own surroundings. An example would be zoro who was cast an illusion on him to make others see him as Charlos (aka the ugly celestial dragon). that would make the opportunity for Luffy or any of the straw hats to fight him while not realizing that is zoro while reader comes up with a plan.

─Strawhats & Heart Pirates x reader

─Summary: You're a mischievous person, you like to cause some chaos with your powers, even if it's your own crew, you just enjoy the drama too much.

─Warnings: none

─ You are a threat and a salvation in equal parts for this crew.

─ Reliable enough to get them out of trouble thanks to your illusions, and evil enough to create small fights between them with your power.

─ You live for drama, and what better drama than blaming others for acts they haven't done? You love causing chaos wherever you step, did you think that just because they are your friends they would get rid of your bad jokes?

─ Nami has probably hit you more than once for being silly or making an unfortunate comment on more than one occasion, but your sarcasm can't be stopped.

─ Robin and Jinbe are the ones who fall least into your traps of illusion, they know how to detect when you are going to do something mischievous, they can read you like an open book.

─ Zoro and Sanji are the ones you mess with the most, confusing them and making their bromance more than just bros, but you're just trying to make love blossom, at least that's your legitimate defense.

─ You can be sarcastic, stubborn… and countless other things, but Chopper is not part of your jokes, at least, not most of the time.

─ Although you will use his appearance in your hallucinations to scare Usopp, there is nothing that scares the sniper more than meeting a monstrous and unreal version of his cute friend.

─ Something that is not so common to use with them is the 'mental control' that you began to develop, it seemed to you that it was something that you should only use with enemies… and with the occasional whim.

─ Do you want to go to a snowy island just to ride a sleigh and make snowmen? Not to mention more! A couple of wishful thinking, some sweet words and you'll be on a winter island the next day.

─ Although they probably scolded you for altering the route, you defend yourself by saying that it wasn't you who agreed to change it, they can't really blame you when they were the ones who "agreed".

─ You have a list with all the most hated people in the crew just to create illusions and provoke everyone to go against each other.

─ Literally sometimes you are the definition of “why have enemies when you have friends.”

─ Law is so fed up with your behaviour but you are so useful in avoiding marines that he allows some of your comments and antics.

─ Although he will probably send you many more tasks than the others as a punishment for taking years off his life with your jokes.

─ You will make him think that he is eating bread, getting on your captain's nerves and doing a puzzle with your body so that you can kill the boredom rebuilding it.

─ Shachi and Penguin have a lot of fights because of you, but they are so easy to fool that it is impossible for you not to confuse them with some of your illusions so that they end up arguing over trivial things.

─ Ikkaku has strictly forbidden you entry to the kitchen because the last thing she needs is to cause more disasters in the kitchen, and she's also a tough nut to crack, your illusions don't work so well with her.

─ Of course Law also learned to see through your power, so you started using a little psychology for your antics.

─ One day you simply decided that it would be a good idea to use your powers to convince everyone to dress up as penguins for a mission, the moment was unforgettable just like cleaning the floor of the submarine with a toothbrush…

─ Once you made Jean Bart take the form of Bepo, although only Law could see him like that, everyone laughed at him for seeing him hug the wrong person.

─ It goes without saying that you had to do another arduous task after messing with your captain.

─ Bepo is probably the only one who escapes the worst jokes, you will use him as a shield for some scoldings, he really is your most powerful weapon against your captain.

─ They always send you to the rear in case they need you to create some illusion for an unexpected situation, Law is usually calculating and rarely prefers to take action if it is not planned in advance.

─ What seems boring to you and sometimes you decide to improvise a little, without ruining the plan, but it's more fun to watch the bad guys beat each other while you just watch the fight like it's a movie

─ The probability of arguing with Law for disobeying him is lower, since at least you didn't ruin the mission, or at least, he doesn't have to remember that you ruined something, you just have to alter his mind a little so that he doesn't realize that your little mistakes.

[ash-says]

Tips on how to be Goody Two Shoes and Pure in the society's eyes:

If you ask me personally I feel we girls should know how to camouflage cause it will just not save your life but also open lots of doors for you. Society loves obedient, docile and submissive women. It villianizes the ones who don't fit in this category. It's difficult to change the patriarchal society so easily thus as we fight for our rights how about we smartly use it for our advantage by selling a delusion?

Don't we say, delulu is the only solulu.

So here are some tips for you:

1) Be a nerd. Literally nothing screams Goody two shoes more than this.

2) Believe in purity culture (even if you don't, publicly act like you do). When someone asks you for casual sex react as if he has asked for your life.

3) Be religious. After all if you are faking a personality make sure you nail it down to perfection.

4) Don't indulge in sexually provocative behaviours or flirting.

5) Delude them in thinking you are a pushover. Do not exert any kind of power or assertiveness until it's absolutely necessary. Fake weakness.

6) Be kind and soft spoken. Treat people lower than your status with love and be receiving towards them. This helps in establishing influence and being perceived as a kind, gentle and elegant lady.

7) Don't let men touch you easily and casually. Be a little reserved. It automatically elevates the way people look at you and gives off a little conservative vibes.

8) Identify the thin line between modernization and traditions. Tread on it carefully to appeal to both the masses.

Disclaimer: I am not preaching to people please but rather use the society's biases to our advantage. The foolish rebels while the smart ones beat them at their own game.

9) Dwell in both sides of the world. It will give you an instinct on how to act where. Explore both the dark and light sides of the human society. The extreme liberalisation and the extreme conservatism this will teach you how to blend both of them for your benefit.

10) Be pretty. It can be in anyway. Make sure the way you are showing up is confident, attractive and showcases your best self. Pretty privilege is real. The amount of times I got out of situations, things and extra work by using pretty privilege, acting cute and dumb coupled with my other techniques is unreal. Leverage the shit out of it.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[beesfairlyland]

Why do we keep expecting same dream?🌃

Uk why we always have different dreams at night? Why those dreams are not the continuation of the previous dream? Guess...guess?NO? Okayy lemme tell you...

Coz you don't EXPECT it to be the same. You sleep without expecting anything coz uk that it's just a dream.... Illusion soo why to worry what you'll experience in the dream.

What if the life...the reality you think is real...is also a dream? What if you wake up from a dream just to experience another dream? What if the dream that you think is real ....is same coz you expect it to be? It looks continuous coz YOU expect to experience the same dream every second....every fucking second YOU chose this dream over and over again. Why? Why to chose this dream if you don't like it? Ain't it funny how you complain that you don't wanna experience this dream but still you choose the same dream!

Why is God doing like this huh? Hmm... looks like GOD forgot their power while being aware of hooman.

What is this behaviour huh? Is this what GOD do?

Umm soo how can we fix it? It's simple I promise!!

Don't expect this dream to be the same!!

First start doubting if it's actually real. Then start wondering what if it's a dream. You'll come to your own conclusions that IT IS. Start doubting if you'll wake up in the same dream or may be choose the dream yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️

I can only tell you what you'll go thru your 'journey'. I can't make you complete the Journey. Only YOU can be your own companion....not someone else(how can someone even help you they ain't even real lol).

Doubt every fucking thing with all of your heart. And no there's no shortcut to reach HOME (tho you already are home). You have to walk on this path alone. Sometimes you'll feel like giving up on the Journey but know that that's ego afraid to lose it's power over the SELF but will we allow some unreal thing to have power over SELF!! NEVER.

This nightmare gonna end soon! But only YOU can end it!✨

[kayleighjennifer]

Birthday girl (Alexia Putellas x reader)

⚠️smut⚠️

Today is Alexia’s birthday and to say that you’re excited is an underestimation. You’ve planned the whole day with the help of Eli and Alba.

You and Alexia have been together for three years and today is the day, where you will propose to her.

Right now, Alexia is softly snoring next to you and you’re tracing her tattoos on her back with your fingers. “Good morning my love”. Alexia just grumbles and turns on her stomach.

You chuckle softly and press light kisses on her back. Alexia sighs at the feeling of your soft lips on her back but still has her eyes closed. You move her hairs from her neck and start sucking on her favourite spot on her neck. Your actions make her moan and she stirs from her deep sleep.

You grin at her. “Happy birthday darling, I hope you have a wonderful day”. She looks adoringly at you and moves you closer to her. “Thank you, besides this is a great way to wake up”. Her voice is still raspy from her sleep. “Glad to hear, do you wanna continue or eat breakfast?” You say excitedly, happy for the rest of the day.

“Let’s continue first and then eat breakfast”. You straddle Alexia’s lap and capture her lips in a bruising kiss. “I like that idea”.

You move towards her neck and décolleté where you leave many marks and wet kisses. The only thing that you can hear, are Alexia’s moans and the sound of your wet lips on her soft skin.

You suck on one of her breast and the other one gets massaged by your hand. “Oh fuck, you’re doing so great cariño”. Alexia groans out, which turns you even more on. “Glad to hear amore, let me take care of you”. Alexia is only able to nod, feeing overwhelmed by the pleasure she is already receiving.

After a bit you move lower, leaving many hickeys on her inner thighs, but leaving her core out. “Please Y/N, no more teasing”. Her hands are in your hair, guiding you to her pussy.

Since it’s her birthday you decide to give her the pleasure she wants. You harshly suck on her clit, using a little bit of teeth. Alexia’s back starts to arch off the bed, which looks unreal. It’s definitely one of your favourite signs. You start to eat her out and one of your hand is rubbing on her clit and the other one is holding Alexia in place.

“fuck, you’re so so so good baby. Please don’t stop”. You love the way she begs and pick up some speed.

You see her legs trembling as she comes but you don’t stop, shoving her right off the cliff again. You connect your eyes with the Spanish ones and see how tears are already forming.

You stop eating her out. “If it’s too much, just let me know and I’ll stop”. Alexia nods and you move back to her pussy. The taste of her is your favourite and Alexia quickly comes for the third time.

You’re not done yet, wanting to make Alexia squirt for the first time. The hand who’s holding her waist is moving upwards to her breast and starts massaging it harshly. She moans even louder by now and feels a weird feeling inside her.

It feels like she’s coming but needs to pee at the same time. “Y/n, I’m coming!” and with that, she covers your mouth with her squirt. Her body is covered in sweat and you stop. Alexia looks embarrassed at you and blushes.

You lick her squirt and moan at the taste. “Don’t look at me like that Alexia. I knew what I was doing and you taste amazing, I wish I could taste it every second”. You assure her and kiss her passionate. Alexia hums into the kiss.

“It was amazing Y/n, I never felt this before” You just smirk at her and cuddle her into your side. “Great to her, it was an honour. What do you think of pancakes for breakfast? You can relax a bit in bed and I’ll prepare everything” Alexia’s heart swells with love at your behaviour. She never felt that loved before.

“But I can help you cariño, you don’t have to do everything alone”. You just kiss her and put on one of her nike hoodies and panties. “I insist, it’s your birthday after all.”

Breakfast in bed was amazing. You had also cut many fruits and made some coffee for the two of you. After breakfast you stay in bed to watch Alexia’s favourite TV show.

“What do you think of picnicking? It’s the perfect weather”. You ask the women in your arms. “I’d love to, where?” She looks up to you with a smile. “You’ll see”.

While you were watching TV, Eli and Alba set up an amazing picnic in the park, where you’d propose to Alexia.

“Let’s get ready babe”. You say after 2 hours and get up. You change into a beautiful dress with tiny flowers on it. It was Alexia’s favourite dress. Alexia on the other hand changed into black slacks with a beautiful white crop top, looking perfect.

“Wow” You breathe out and kiss her. “You look wow too” She smirks and you blush a bit. “Don’t we need food for a picnic?” Alexia giggles as she don’t see you having any food. “Your sister prepared it, don’t worry”.

When you arrive, there is no sign of Alexia’s mother or sister. You knew that they were hiding so you could propose to her. “Wow, it looks breathtaking”. Alexia is taking in the beautiful view and turns around to you when you’re on your knees.

“Dear Alexia. We met three years ago and after I asked you out for the first time, you asked me to be your girlfriend so I guess it’s my turn again to ask you to be my beautiful wife. Every second we spend together is simply perfect and I can not imagine my life without you anymore, so I ask you, do you want to make me the happiest person alive and be my wife?” You end the speech and look into Alexia’s shocked and teary eyes.

“Of course!” You kiss her and Eli and Alba are stepping out of their hideout. “Congratulations guys” Alba says and Alexia looks surprised around

“This is all so perfect, thank you” She kisses you again and you hold her close. “Everything for my girl”

[maoam]

is that true sasuke and karin fucked in canon? i saw some people spread this because suigetsu implied something happened between them in the past. i don't know the right translation of his line but most of translations imply whether karin did something to sasuke in the past or they did something together.  

these people say sasuke defends karin even though karin was the who punched suigetsu because they didn't want suigetsu to reveal some secret. when karin tries to get closer to sasuke he tells her to move back a little or looks nervous (because of her angry voice?) suigetsu also said that he and juugo would get in their way and that he likes to break them apart. it is also mentioned in some databook that suigetsu likes to interfere with the love of sasuke and karin, and that  what happened between sasuke and karin is a top secret. 

those people also discussed bites all over karin's body, assuming that they were left by sasuke and that she let him diging his teeth into her body (it is  also mentioned in databook). it is also mentioned by obito that karin is sasuke's favorite (lovers used to be considered favorites). in the scene where karin goes to sasuke when he was injured, she said a line that could mean sasuke wouldn't reject her.

naruto and suigetsu believed that sasuke could have slept with karin and suigetsu also said he didn't know sasuke can be such a bastard( those people use "pimp" but it's probably a mistranslation since the most common meaning of the used word in his line was "bastard" or "pile of trash". this word  also can mean "chad", but it's an uncommon meaning).  to sarada's questions about who her mother is, sasuke answered "it's none of your business". it could indicate that sasuke slept with both karin and sakura and simply did not know whose daughter sarada was.  

in their opinion, sk is the only ship where there is something erotic, other ships don't have this and for manga such hints are rare to mean this very thing. for some reason some people think that sasuke could rape karin and sakura, that's why they look so sad in gaiden lol. 

could kishimoto really leave these sexual hints and continue them in gaiden as an unrealized desire to bring karin and sasuke together? why did he never comment on that suigetsu's line? why did suigetsu even get the impression that karin and sasuke could be together? i mean there must be some sence to make him think like that and i beleive kishi wouldn't throw such stuff unintentionally. 

anyway, is sasuke really that kind of character who would have a sexual relationship with someone he doesn't love, who would use someone for sexual favors and then throw them away like an unnecessary tool (which is exactly what sasuke did to karin in the end)? and i know databooks aren't canon, but what is the scence to tease fans with such hints?

"The truth is, I know… A long time ago, you (did something) to/regarding Sasuke."

The line doesn't imply they did something together, but that Karin did something regarding Sasuke.

What an amazing jump through mental hoop to come to the conclusion that it means they had sex. Yes I'm sure they had sex at age 13. That's definitely what was Sasuke's priority when he came to Oro's place. But we have to remember the person who wrote the "meta" of Sasuke and Karin having sex also said Itachi was fucking multiple women at same age and also was being passed around by the council (the wording they used).

It was pretty easy to tell from their whole convo that Suigetsu was trying to piss Karin off. 'That's why you're always stuttering' etc. Sasuke isn't even phased, just a bit annoyed. Them quarreling is distracting from the mission.

This was just a bit before that moment of Karin slapping Suigetsu. As you can see Sasuke is a bit confused by Karin's behaviour. He also doesn't want to let her come too close. It should be OBVIOUS these two aren't in a sexual relationship, or relationship of any kind at this point. Come on now.

Databooks... aren't canon, once again. They are written by random people.

Suigetsu talks a lot of shit, he's a troll, yet it's treated as gospel. He finds Karin annoying so he wants to mess with her attempts to get together with Sasuke. Guess what, Oro constantly brings up how Sasuke is affected by Naruto. And Oro is a character who is very intelligent and perceptive. He never says/thinks Sasuke is affected by Karin. It's almost like Kishi wanted to point out how important Naruto is to Sasuke and how deep Sasuke's feelings lie, while he used Karin for comic relief most of the time.

Sasuke, who didn't even kill the men Orochimaru brought to him because of his good heart, sacrificed Karin, a teammate, for his revenge. That was his low point. It's really not hard to understand.

Oh my god... Obito's comment is about Karin's abilities, I have talked about this already. [link]

Suigetsu sure, because again he's a troll character. Naruto never implied Sasuke slept with Karin, he was just frustrated on what a mess the whole thing was. Which is why he said 'teme'. The whole goddamn Gaiden is making fun of both SS and SK and some people still don't see it...

"It could indicate that sasuke slept with both karin and sakura and simply did not know whose daughter sarada was."

I'm amazed some people understand Sasuke's character so little that they genuinely think he would do something like that. XD

"in their opinion, sk is the only ship where there is something erotic" wrong [link]

"could kishimoto really leave these sexual hints and continue them in gaiden as an unrealized desire to bring karin and sasuke together?"

No. Imagine thinking that after how Kishi made Sasuke stabbing Karin into comic relief soon after lol. He doesn't care about Karin enough to have any desire to bring her anywhere, especially not with Sasuke.

"for some reason some people think that sasuke could rape karin and sakura, that's why they look so sad in gaiden lol"

Again amazingly terrible mischaracterization especially when Sasuke has always rejected both Sakura and Karin and they have been the aggressors towards him.

"is sasuke really that kind of character who would have a sexual relationship with someone he doesn't love, who would use someone for sexual favors and then throw them away like an unnecessary tool"

No.

"is that true sasuke and karin fucked in canon?"

No. SK and Sasuke stans who are homophobic are just desperate to prove Sasuke wants to fuck women.

The scene of Karin hitting on Sasuke and Sasuke being confused and also telling her to back off, and these ones here, just show Sasuke does not see Karin that way. It's only Naruto he is comfortable with touching him, and the one he goes out of his way to touch even when there's no need to (like to save someone from falling).

The people giving these arguments are just delusional like SS, it can't be helped.

[drbased]

i've been reading your symbolic states tag and i'm both fascinated and relieved. i too am trying to live more in the real world and less in my head. a spark was struck when i read that i should be looking forward to the work of living, rather than dreaming of the symbolic sense of achievement i want.

do you have any tips/advice on getting out of that state? i find myself slipping back to it after a few days/weeks. how did you get out of it permanently?

i also want to hear your thoughts on social media's impact on us with regards to the symbolic state. social media is a literal continuous symbolic state that we are now all expected to participate in. how might we do it without succumbing to living/thinking symbolically?

actually, i would go so far as to state that social media has contributed directly to the current boom and celebration of unreal/symbolic ideals.

thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

Thank you so much for this message 💖

This is, in short, my process:

learn to recognise what makes you feel uncomfortable. mentally trace back to recognise what has made you feel sad, angry etc. The more specific and granular and embarrassing you can recognise as the source of your negative emotional response, the more you're learning about your actual self and not some idealised version of you.

from that, start getting to know yourself. once again, the more granular and specific you can get, the better. instead of thinking 'I am smart', recognise 'I have good analytical skills that I developed during childhood because of x experience' etc. this will help you to stop categorising yourself as a certain type of person and instead will help you to have a healthier relationship with the traits that make up who you are.

before doing an activity, is your mental picture of yourself in the first or third person? because if it's the latter, try imagining yourself in the first person. if this feels humiliating and embarrassing, and the activity seems boring, you've learned something about what you actually like doing. get used to recognising that picturing yourself in the third person is a warning sign. the more you recognise the warning signs, the more you learn about yourself, and the more you can act authentically.

with a better picture of who you are, you're better at recognising what you actually want in the moment. I specify in the moment, because it's very easy to categorise yourself - I spent over a decade doing things because 'drbased would like this activity', as if I'm forced to behave according to someone's OC character sheet of myself. For example, when doing art projects, I feel as if I'm supposed to do a specific design because 'that's the kind of design drbased likes' - which actually makes the activity the opposite of creativity because I leave myself no room for the spontaneity of the human spirit; everything I do has to fit into a category. Recognising that I can just exist in the moment and not as part of some wider narrative has helped me immensely

learn to trust yourself - or, at least, humour yourself until you trust yourself. learning to humour myself is where this all started. I took myself and my point of view seriously, and as such was finally able to stop being embarrassed at being a human being. I approach everything from my own point of view now, and it's wild that I finally understand that that's what being human, being alive, existing is all about.

and here's the big one - or, rather, one continuous and contiguous chain of small ones - I have to actually do what I want, moment to moment. Since I lost the ability to recognise myself as a human being existing in the chain of cause-and-effect, I have to re-establish my relationship with said cause-and-effect. I have to re-attach some neurons, and the best way to do that is with consistent behaviour. I feel something I want to do, I have to do it instantly. The more of a gap I leave, the harder I make it in the long run. I still feel the tug of obligation stopping me from doing what I want to do instantaneously, so this is a long, perhaps a life-long journey for me. but I want that, no matter how exhausting it can get, because every moment I get to show myself love and prove just how serious I am about mending my relationship with myself. One very existentially terrifying thing I've learned is that the medium is the message - the very fact that you're making these gestures to yourself is something that your brain registers. And the simple fact, is, reality feels a lot better when you're directly engaging with it. It's tough, but it's incredibly rewarding and makes life better - remember, you only ever exist in the moment - so thinking of yourself as anything other than in the moment is a form of death of the self. Reinforcing yourself as part of the chain of causality is telling yourself you're alive and want to live.

Make no mistake: I am not completely out of it. I seriously damaged my relationship with my own self-hood and I am sure that I will always be struggling with this for the rest of my life. But how I frame my response to life's struggles is entirely different now - I am making this decision to engage with what I once percieved as the humiliation of mundane life because I can now recognise that for better or for worse, I'm the one living it. I'm the one feeling the feelings and thinking the thoughts and doing the actions. I am the center of my entire perception of the universe, this life is literally my own. I used to think of myself as having some obligation/responsibility to other people and the universe itself - but now I recognise that responsibility is, like, an actual real thing, instead of just getting marks on a test. If I do something bad, that actually hurts real people; and likewise, doing something nice is good because real people benefit. The 'responsibility' comes once again from the equally comfortable and terrifying realisation of my place in the chain of cause-and-effect. As part of that chain, I may have caused irreparable damage to my psyche, but I'm not part of a narrative where I must seek to 'fix myself' - I'm just a human being, and I want to live the best life I can because feeling good feels good, and that's what I want for myself because I care about myself. If I have to spend the rest of my life constantly asking 'what do I actually want right now?' then so fucking be it - because the alternative is a low-level hell of depression and PDA.

I will talk about social media and symbolic states in a reblog of this another time. But I hope this helps - I'm getting better at writing down the stages of what I did to help myself, and it's incredibly gratifying, and the responses I get are validating.