#just want a bong bruh

[octuscle]

Roommates

Sven wasn't exactly the type of Swedish exchange student that the Alpha Phi fraternity had expected. Of course, they had expected some kind of Viking. Long blonde hair, muscular body, hard-drinking beyond measure. Sven was NOTHING like that. None, slight with a slight belly, vegan, teetotaler. A bore and a nerd! If anyone didn't fit into the fraternity, it was this nerd, whose bed had long since been neatly made at 08:00 in the morning and who was already sitting in the library studying. Most of his fraternity brothers simply ignored Sven. But it wasn't so easy for his roommate Alex. Sven didn't like it when Alex smoked pot with his bong, Sven constantly asked Alex to keep order and clean. Sven annoyed Alex with every single one of his Swedish breaths.

Saturday morning. Alex had a serious hangover. The party yesterday had been more than worth it. Of course he would have preferred to fuck the linebacker in his bed. But of course Sven had already been in bed at 10 p.m. and couldn't be disturbed. But hell, the fuck in the broom closet had been hot. And where had the little nerd gone again? The bed was already made, of course. There was a note on the pillow that read in little-girl handwriting "I'm at the museum today, will be back around 8pm." Museum! On a Saturday! What a loser… Alex had no idea why he was doing this, but he just wanted to get one over on the little neat freak. So he wiped his hairy, sweaty armpits with Sven's pillow. Then he pissed, wanked his morning boner and lay down again to sleep it off. When Sven came home in the evening, he sighed. Once again, Alex had left behind a mess that reached right into his own half of the room they shared. He tidied up at least his part of the room and went down to the kitchen to prepare his dinner. The other guys had all gone out. Sure, it was Saturday night. Sven enjoyed preparing and eating his vegetable soup while reading National Geographic. He got ready for bed around 10 p.m. He wanted to go to the botanical garden in the morning.

Sven's night was restless. Not just because of Alex, who came home at around 03:00 in the morning, full to bursting and then had to throw up in the toilet. It was also because of wild dreams. Sven woke up twice because of an almost painful boner. And after getting up, he had to jerk off urgently. He had never been this horny before. Damn it, if he wanted to get to the botanical garden in time for the tour, he had to hurry. Showering was out of the question. He smelled under his armpits. Phew! And he really needed to shave there too. What a bush that was growing there. Sven quickly took Alex's deodorant. The scent should mask the stench. And then he hurriedly got ready and quietly left the frat house.

When Alex woke up, he had to grin. For the first time, Sven's bed wasn't made. His silly pyjama bottoms were actually on the floor. And he hadn't left a note about what nerdy activity he was doing today. Alex took Sven's pyjama bottoms and pulled them through his own ass crack a few times with relish. The idea of the little nerd putting these pants on made him really horny. He leaked precum, which he wiped off with Sven's pyjama bottoms. His personal pain in the ass deserved that.

When Sven came back in the late afternoon, most of the jocks were sitting in the living room watching football. Sven had no idea what the rules were and he wasn't really interested. But he thought it was cool to hang out with the guys now. As long as he was in the fraternity… Plus there were nachos and beer. If that wasn't a reason to sit down in a free seat…

When Alex woke up the next morning, Sven's bed was empty, of course. Miserable nerd, thought Alex. Then he heard the sound of the toilet flushing. And a naked Sven came out of the bathroom. "Hey, didn't you wash your hands, you pig?" Alex asked, looking at the mighty cock dangling between Sven's legs. Sven held his hand under Alex's nose. "Doesn't stink, so doesn't need washing, Bruh," he said with a grin. And as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants, a no-longer-fresh T-shirt and a sweat jacket, he added that he was late for the first lecture. And asked if he would meet Alex at the gym later.

Whatever drugs Sven was taking, Alex thought, he should keep taking them. Speaking of drugs. Alex was in the mood for a bong. Now that the nerd was gone. Alex would be skipping the first lecture anyway. His Monday started with the lunch break at the earliest. He lit the bong. And taking advantage of the opportunity to be alone, he blew the smoke right onto Sven's crumpled pillow.

Normally, Alex would have been embarrassed to be seen in the gym with Sven. But actually, the little wanker wasn't doing too badly. Sven wasn't necessarily muscular. But wiry. And he obviously had the ambition to put on weight. Alex shared his protein shake with his roommate. And Sven thanked him with a huge protein fart on the leg press. Hell, did he smell like that himself, Alex wondered, feeling a little sorry for Sven. Having not showered since Saturday morning, Sven insisted on showering after training. Sissy, Alex thought at first. Until he saw Sven naked in the changing room. "Hey, Swedish stallion, wait for me," he called after him. Never in his life would he have thought that he would ever jerk off in the shower with Sven.

Sven got up the next morning. He should have done his laundry yesterday. But now he had to do it in yesterday's jockstrap and socks. He had showered last night, so he could use the precious time to smoke a joint. Damn it, there had to be tobacco and weed somewhere in his hopeless mess. Alex was still snoring. The tent he had built in his bed clearly marked his morning wood. Sven would have loved to give the stud a blow job. But he had now decided to have a joint. He didn't have time for both together. As usual, he was running late. And he often couldn't afford to be late any more. Alex was well off. Thanks to his rich parents and his football scholarship, he could afford to sleep through the morning. Sven had to get reasonably good grades so that his scholarship abroad wouldn't be canceled.

Before he left the fraternity house, he quickly made himself a protein shake. One of his frat brothers hugged him from behind and grabbed the bulge in his sweatpants. "Time for a quick fuck, stud?" Fuck, now he was late for class after all.

"You look good, Bruh!" Alex said that evening after the workout. "Ever thought about a roid cycle?" Sven was hungry for more. In his mind, he put on 40 pounds of muscle. The thought of a massive roid gut gave him a hard-on. He knocked the cap off Alex's head. "You only want that to make my cock shrink. You just can't swallow that beast like that." Alex got down on his knees and pulled the waistband of Sven's pants down. The precum-smeared cock popped out of its prison. "I think I'll just give it a go…" Best roommates ever!

Pic of the two studs found @meninthemirr0r

Story based on an idea of @1-800-give-a-chance

[yokakaiju]

i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed

justifications under cut

so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together

also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs

okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism

haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it

13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman

ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that

ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh

aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)

noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you

asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)

chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh

OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm

poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3

natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit

vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk

kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3

tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk

ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him

i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."

ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all

fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh

now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)

again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect

ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is

again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG

now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan

kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright

wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful

en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf

genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed

now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass

fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent

curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho

oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS

kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is

store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs

[haechvn]

Smoking that 🍃 with Shuri

Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader

Warning: Yall already know

Summary/Request: oooo what about getting high with shuri omgggggg

Word Count: high asf !!! (0.6k)

Author’s Note: YALL BE FUCKIN FR. THE S IN SHURI STANDS FOR SPITTING ON PUSSY AND SMOKING WE!!D

Taglist :  @melodykissess, @blackhottie25, @tonakingsings, @coalmistyy, @szalipcombo, @prettyluhlaiiii, @yelenabelovasgff, @callmeoncette, @clqrosmgc

Obviously Wakanda got the loudest pack of all packs. Why do y’all think Killmonger stayed so long????

Shuri has her own dispensary and grow the best shit bc how else is she gonna deal with the pressures of the throne like be fr

One night, it’s just the two of you outside in the Palace garden and the stars are out and the moon is appreciating yalls beauty bc omg

Shuri is sitting to your right with basketball shorts she got from a Chicago Bulls game and an oversized white tshirt while you are just in one of her shirts and panties OMHGGG

Today was a long day so you two just want to relax with each other. Lmao nah but Shuri is a pro at rolling and she doesn’t even need to look down at the jo!int or bl!nt

Instead, when she’s wrapping and licking it shut, she’s starring you dead in the eyes and licking that shit like it’s you

Like bruh how are you already horny and we haven’t even hit it yet??

Other times, she would look so delicious, slightly bent over and completely focused bc she doesn’t want to mess it up for her princess and you can see her jaw slightly clenching in the moonlight while her fingers softly roll around the bl!nt. they need to rolling on your pu—

Whether yall are rolling or using bongs, Shuri always hits first so she can lean over and kiss you, blowing the smoke into your mouth while french kissing you like nigga can i inhale it please???

Sometimes, since she likes babying you so much, she would light it for you and hold the bl!nt for you to smoke from. Starring so intently and wanting nothing more for you to get just as lifted as she is. ofc she would never make you smoke more than you can handle

She would not be able to shut up about how much you changed her life and how you inspire her to be better everyday

Thinking about how you support her in all her endeavors would actually make her tear up

Her voice is definitely a bit deeper and raspier than usually and everytime she talks to you she just has to grab your jaw and put her lips right on your ear so that you can hear her properly

She’s a bit slower with her movement but almost 1000% more intentional

Her eyes would be a bit lower, nothing too crazy, but she would not be able to stop licking her lips over and over and she is surprisingly very touchy with herself

Like caressing the sides of her neck practically feeling your lips there and then touch her legs, remembering how wet your pussy was sliding all over her thigh thirty minutes ago–

NEXT

She loves talking about next steps for projects that she’s having trouble with like this with you bc it’s usually when she’s able to solve them

Shuri will always have an arm around your waist when she takes a hit bc why are you so far away princess? 

Once yall are high high, she’ll have chefs prepare the best food for you two and have it delivered to her room

You’ll cuddle, eat (your food and each other) and not worry about a single thing

She’ll feed you your food and eventually hers since you’ll want to eat that to as long as you let her eat your– 

High!Shuri is a lot more laid back and chill. She doesn’t let her mind worry and she like that all she has to focus on is you

Even inebriated, all she wants to do is take care of you so she’ll accidentally send you half a mil and wonder where her money went in the morning.

She’ll probably start talking shit about the Avengers that she doesn’t like and question why they are even on the team

Overall, she would be an absolute tease but still the same touchy feely woman you know. Y’all would have too much fun omgg

[probably-enjolras]

today was my 21st birthday and i went to a bar for the first time because i never drink alcohol from the Traumatic Childhood™️ but i got a cocktail bc wine and beer taste gross to me and i like really sweet drinks. but uh, the menu didn’t say how much vodka would be in the cocktail so we (everyone who came with me) assumed it wasn’t going to be more than they (college students who drink regularly) were used to. nope. it had roughly 4 shots of vodka in it. i drank a quarter of it. i do not recommend your first real alcoholic drink to be the equivalent of a shot of vodka when you, someone who has been smoking weed for like 4 years, is such a lightweight with it that like three hits of a bong gets you stoned for hours. also i HATE this feeling. i’m not even actually drunk rn mostly just pretty tipsy and i want to crawl out of my skin. i don’t… i really just don’t get the appeal… like you do you ill happily drink mocktails and be the designated driver forever but uh… this just isn’t in the cards for me. also? the cocktail didn’t even taste as good as the mocktails i ordered after which is such a scam like bruh i paid like double for a drink i could only drink a quarter of because it didn’t taste great AND i feel like shit? that’s such bullshit tbh i feel cheated i could have gotten like two other virgin piña coladas or something

[giyuulatte]

alright i finally finished the uncanny counter 2 and…

hmm

my thots and spoilers below

THIS IS ALL MY OPINION AND IM BLABBING AND IT IS YAP TIME

it’s 1am so i’m a lil coocoo

once again all MY OPINION if anyone sees this

honestly speaking this season was alright. it def did not compare to season one, which i was expecting. yet it wasn’t up to par with it either. it felt like too much and not enough at the same time so it kinda fell flat to me

in season one everything was connected and there were very clear motives. from the bullying, so mun’s parents, the evil spirits, ji chung shin himself, and the corrupt government. and chung shin’s backstory made me feel for him which is what made him a great antagonist imo. like i loved him

but hwang pil gwang (slick back), gelly (hongjoong variant LMFAOO), and wong (just wong tbh)….mmph

i can’t really remember the beginning it took me 2 months to finish it but, dude and his crew showed up outta nowhere and just started creating chaos for funsies???? now don’t get me wrong, i’m all for villainy for fun but i just couldn’t get into for some reason with them. it just feels like their characters weren’t fleshed out enough for me to actually like them no matter how fine they are bc the whole crew could get it

and then we move to ma ju seok my adoring and loving husband. now this was something i could get behind. him going on a rampage trying to get revenge for his wife and baby, having enough rage to summon an evil spirit on his own??? like that’s what i’m talking about!!! i felt for him and wanted him to succeed bc that con man was also annoying as shit. i really and truly wanted him dead bc he was the absolute worst jfc

if the story only focused on him, and getting his revenge and having to take him down. and only him. seeing how far his rage could take him and what would happen ON HIS OWN without any outside manipulation pil hwang *coughs* would have been a lil more interesting to me and i think i would have enjoyed it more. ik pil gwang wanted his power n shit BUT WHY. like give me a reason.

TO ME hwang pil gwang and his crew added absolutely nothing to this for me. and gelly betraying slick back and all that other stuff just felt unnecessary to me. gelly not being able to do anything and literally almost every single time the crew showed up, and bc pil gwang wouldn’t help her. GIRLY STAND UP AND HAVE SOME RESPECT YOU ARE A BADASS TF YOU DOIN???? GET OFF YA KNEES

AND ms chu’s newest child lim jae yeol….why was he there??? and be honest. what did he do for the plot other than give ms chu another child and show her backstory

and then do hwi, lawd my sweet piano man. WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT JUST FOR HIM TO FORGET HA NA IN THE END I WAS SO PISSED bc once again. what tf did he add. i feel like he could have been good to ha na, genuinely. imagine getting dumped by ya not girlfriend after y’all done hung out together and have each other hiccup remedies, and then getting attacked by someone who finna rap they verse in bouncy i am so dead

i understand they were trying to idk, give their characters more depth but pls

mo tak punching so mun was NAWT on my 2023 kdrama bingo card. and he didn’t even apologize for it!!!! i understand he was angry and upset bc he thought lost his partner and so mun was doing a bit too much but i just feel like that was outta character for him to do…. and for him to not apologize for it was just, what???

and don’t get me started on jeok beong. i was um, expecting a lil bit more. yoo in soo is a FANTASTIC actor. if you told me he was gwi nam from aouad before hand i would have passed out. THAT MF RANGE IS INSANE!! but, but, jeok bong could have been more. i love him to death but he stayed the same person the entire time. granted towards the end he did start meshing with the group a bit better and throwing ideas out and stuff but i dunno bruh. i was feeling him and not feeling him at the same time.

the same goes for kang ki young. baby if you say that was myung seok from attorney woo i would have passed out pt2. like he did his thang bc i deadass hated his character even tho he was looking good as hell

the lack of so mun’s friends also bummed me out bc i really like them and they are an important part of his life. wanted to see more of those three together as well. my found family was not found with them this season

but the counters dynamic was still a++ like that’s real family. teasing ha na and do hwi, ha na having to save so mun while he was in a coma, then going to yung to ask why so mun leaving, jeok bong calling mun his brother just *wipes tear* magnificent

and why tf did mun have to lose his powers again. we did that shit in season one there was no need for that tbh

nothing to say about ms chu god bless.

nothing to say about jang mool god bless.

mun going over seas and seeing wi gen’s daughter like ENOUGH.

just…. too much, and yet not enough at the same time.

but i still very much enjoyed 8.5/10 BAYBEE

[toast-com]

Twilight Parody

Bella recoiled from Edward's grasp. His touch was like the ice she slipped on that morning: cold and slippery. Edward's face was stone-like.

"Why are you so cold Eddie, my boi?" Edward sighed, pulling away from Bella. He had always been cold, so, so, cold...

"I've always been cold, Bella-chan," Edward mumbled, his words being drowned out by the honestly extremely loud breathing of Jacob, who was trying not to jump over the kitchen counter and break Edward's face like the glass it resembled. "...It's just who I am, nya..." Bella looked up from her ashtray. She was running out of room, and really wanted to smoke a phat dart.

"And, if I may Ed, my babygirl," Bella pulled him down to her really short eyelevel. She stared him down. "What. Are. You?"

"I-I..." Edward took off his Animal Crossing hoodie. His wallpaper white skin sparkled, like the glass on the window he liked to look out of, and brood, listening to Hatsune Miku in his Kirby Airpods. "I... am a vampire, uwu." Bella snorted, and laughed. Edward winced. He loved Bella, like a rat who loved to cook a certain Italian dish. But, my guy, her laugh was very ugly. Like wolves chowing down on Popeye's biscuits. She ripped a fat one on the bong she always carried around, and looked at her babygirl with red-rimmed eyes.

"That's cap bruh."

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 70

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

“It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: she told you to not eat the candy, dude…ew no no no no…why do I do this? Why do I watch this while eating?? Dude is coughing up razors magic’d into the Halloween candy. Bruh ate one piece of candy and somehow swallowed FOUR razors?? Oh. A hex bag. Yeah, I wouldn’t have survived

Why would you sniff a random thing in the hex bag???

Oh. So we’re doing a bunch of Halloween urban legends

These are all HORIFFIC deaths

Imagine being a supernatural hunter and pronouncing Samhain as Sam Hane. And they’re just gonna keep doing it…

I find it hard to believe that Dean would just throw that many candy wrappers on Baby’s front seat

Hey, Dean, we won’t but maybe we should explore why you’d want to come back as a hot cheerleader, if you were a 600 year old witch

Is this kid trying to make a bong in ceramics class???? Amazing

How is the teacher not the third sacrifice??

Dean, no. Quit it with the fat shaming

I literally can’t…I can’t do commentary when Cas is around

I love that Cas either CANNOT make eye contact or makes the MOST INTENSE eye contact 💖

Nooo, Baby doesn’t deserve to get egged because Dean was kind of a dick

Ooooo, what are your TRUE orders??

So, none of this explains why Tracy lied about knowing the family from the first five minutes…this is flimsy (*whispers* remember there was a writers strike going on)

Ah shit. They were BOTH witches…the teacher AND the cheerleader

I’m not saying that she was right to be summoning demons, but do we have to kill EVERY witch we come across??

Ohhhh, Sam’s gonna wanna use his psychic powers to exorcise the demonnnnn. And honestly? I think he’s gonna end up doing it, especially if it’s to save the kids now locked in the mosuleum…or maybe Dean will just shoot the lock open to fight the zombies (we actually get zombies this time!!)

Hahahaa, yeah, he’s not gonna have a choice

I’m really glad they stopped pronouncing Samhain after that one scene

I know there was no other choice, but fuck if the betrayal doesn’t still hit hard…

I spoke WAY too soon. They pronounced it Sam Hane again

WHAT DID DEAN DO IN HELL????

Huh…the orders were to follow Dean’s orders. I love when someone created to follow begins to question whether they should, whether what they’re doing is right or wrong, if they should be idolizing the person they’ve followed for this long. Ugh it’s delicious

Obsessed with how many times they show the “I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in” in the recaps. It’s like every fucking day

“Been On My Mind…”: No. 8.

[gavinsmg24]

Sports are so rigged!!! AGGH! Izzy and Sean fought all 5 rounds!!! And yes did Sean control and do more???? Yes!! But believe me when I say’. A classic line for champ fights is “you have to beat the champ to “beat” the champ” not really but! Who watches a boring champion fight where like barelay any big hits are landed and you give it to the underdog!!

Like it’s so stupid it was the most average fight for our champ to “lose” new age of champs ig. The “script” for fights is stupid. I didnt feel the anger / sad from him losing or the hype from him winning. I’m left line :/ bruh! Nothing happened! Sean hit Izzy like 10-12 good times. Meanwhile Izzy played defense. Is defending his championship!! It’s not a normal fight where 2 random fighters do their best. This Is best of the best vs runner up! You can’t be kind of good against a champ! Whatever.. the UFC does what it wants. But this is one of those champ fights your just like :/ either way. Cool. Sean won. Not in my book. A win is knockout or domination. I witnessed an average fight. Bullshit

Hope your good baby. Was gonna hit bong either way but ugh. Now it’s 😤 high but I’ll be sleep soon. Mwah! Football is tmar and that’ll be fun no matter what

[imsohighwhydidimakethis]

YALL I JUST WANT TO BLOW INTO MY BONG SO BAD.

It’s so tempting

Watch I’m gonna do it

[solesurvivingmom]

Can we talk about Argyle and Eddie? Like... those two would have been the best of bros? Chrissy would know that they wouldn’t be going anywhere when Argyle would show up. All Eddie and him would do would be smoke weed, watch movies, listen to music. UNTIL EDDIE IS LIKE, “Yo. Want to know about DnD?” Argyle is just, sure bruh! What’s this dnd brochaco? 

Argyle’s mind would be fucking blown! Like, Eddie breaks out all his DnD books, campaigns etc. By time Chrissy comes home from school/work, they are elbows deep in character creating. Argyle... is lost in the DnD sauce! 

“So like, you mean... I could be a bong wizard? Shoot weed smoke out my hands? Woooooah! That’s rad!” 

I wish Argyle and Eddie could have met, they’d been bros. 

[womensblood]

Slasher(s) With A Stoner!S/O

(GN!Reader)

[] (brackets) means you can chooses whatever clothing items you’d like.

Some of these relationships are kinda unhealthy so be warned.

One more thing, reader does have depression/anxiety, brief description of panic/anxiety attack is described in Brahms’s part.

Brahms Heelshire

In the beginning of your relationship, like, before you knew he was a grown man living in his parents walls, he didn’t understand it.

Because when Brahms would get a nap time, or when you would put him to bed, immediately it’s fucking time for a smoke break, cause fuck taking care of a probably demonically possessed doll. That’s what you believed at the time.

You never smoked in the house, it made you feel too uncomfortable. You always felt like you were being watched, and you thought it was the spirit of the doll, and hey, you didn’t want to piss off an angry ghost child because… come on. That never ends well ever in any horror movie.

You would smoke outside or in the garden. But even then, Brahms could still watch you. And he didn’t know that you were smoking weed, obviously because he’s been hiding in then walls and doesn’t know what anything is bruh.

When you’d come in, he’d notice a difference.

You’d either eat and then go to bed, eat and write/read stories online or just flat out go to bed.

But, you personally liked to stay up and slowly drift to sleep while enjoying something you love.

He was confused by your behavior, he didn’t get why you acted so different. His dumb ass thought that cigarettes could get you drunk.

But after he revealed himself, one of the first things he asked was why you were smoking cigarettes, that it was ‘impolite’ and ‘rude’, that it was gross, me you were both annoyed and amused.

You tell him the truth. You tell him that they aren’t cigarettes, and that it’s weed, and it helps with your anxiety/depression. And that it also feels good. And it’s fun.

He didn’t understand, but he didn’t stop you, even though he would be very vocal about his opinion on smoking.

He wouldn’t smoke with you. And to be honest, you were kinda glad, because oh my god he would be the worst person in the world to smoke with. Like, honest to gods I would rather die than smoke with him and hang out while he’s high.

But he gets used to it. Plus, he likes it when you’re high sometimes, cause you laugh at literally almost everything he says and does and he feels so fucking funny. He’s like, “yeah, I’m basically Jesus now I’m the funnies guy on earth.”

He likes seeing you smile a lot too. And you’re limos start constantly smiling when you’re high, you’re always in a good mood.

He loves to cuddle with you while you’re high, cause you get extra affectionate while you’re high.

Ash Williams

Fucking dies and goes to heaven.

Your relationship started over a one-night stand. And when you got to his house and you saw his bong, you reached into your pocket an pulled out your weed and he felt like a princess who just saw her prince.

He. Literally fell in love.

You 2 smoke together all the time. All. The. Time.

At first, you guys became friends with benefits, and would smoke weed and play video games.

But soon enough, you guys actually started to develop feelings for one another.

Ash didn’t want to have feelings for you, but he stayed anyway. Plus, he loves smoking with you.

You 2 have so much chemistry when you’re high, your conversations are never dull and you always genuinely enjoy his company.

Your minds are both so equally stupid when you’re high that it’s insane. It’s dangerous. You need to be stopped for real.

You two can be sober around each other, and you are, but your favorite thing to do together is smoke.

In fact, that’s how you confessed your feelings for one another. You were the one to initiate it romantically, and he was sort of thankful for that.

He was hesitant at first, and you reassured him that if he wasn’t ready, you’d understand.

You guys made out after that and after a good a hour and a half, you guys were officially together. You spent the night in his house cuddled up next to him as his partner for the first time in your life.

Billy Lenz

He doesn’t really know much bout weed, until he meets you. And he doesn’t really care.

But, he does like that when you get high, you’re usually hornier, and that means weed is pretty cool in his book.

High sex™︎

But he also sees that when you’re upset or something like that, and you smoke, something changes in you.

And because of that, he does want to try smoking just because he sees the effect it has on you.

Don’t let that psychopath do anything bro

He will literally end. The earth.

His horniness level is through the roof. And weed can enhance horniness levels, imagine how fucking catastrophic it would be. You alone would cause the demise of earth.

But, Billy also has PTSD. You didn’t really know at first. You knew he would have freak outs, but you just chalked it up to him getting angry out of nowhere. But sometimes, he’s just have panic attacks, reliving something traumatic, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

He’d steal your weed without telling you and try to smoke it by himself.

You get home like, 30 minutes later to hearing Billy’s muffled screams in the attic and the sound of something to the ground and you just sigh.

You storm up to the attic just in time to watch Billy throw the sororities old coffee table into the wall, crushing it.

“Billy, what the fff-”

“… is that my weed?”

He doesn’t know how to pack a bowl. It was just a nug stuffed in the hole of your pipe, it wasn’t even grinded or picked apart at all and you laughed on accident and that made him angrier lolz

You showed him how to grind weed with your hands, and you picked it apart, explaining the best way to do so, and for once, he was quiet. He didn’t interrupt or try to annoy you, he just watched.

You even taught him the best way to smoke, but he got all bitchy and insisted he knew what to do and that he’d figure it out.

He ended up just copying you though.

You actually kind of like getting high with him, because it actually calms him down. But he’s also more horny than ever. Like, it’s… a problem.

And for some reason, he has even more stamina when he’s high, so s3x is even longer than usual.

But hey man, you’re not complaining.

[tanniefm]

nasty | jjk (m)

summary - you're needy at a party and no one can help you except your boyfriend jungkook.

pairing - jungkook x reader

genre - established relationship

word count - 2.4k

song inspo - nasty by ariana grande

warnings - unprotected sex (BOOO), dirty talk, daddy kink, brief breeding kink, slight voyeurism (you essentially ride his thigh in front of everyone), explicit language, praise kink, subspace, drug and alcohol use (weed), brief mention of vmin, i guess kook also falls into domspace too i mean y'all are high so

a/n - i'm sorry this took so long school's been kicking my ass bruh. this is also very unedited since i originally wrote this while horny like a month ago kanjwbw. anyways yeah enjoy! ps. i am very bad at endings and summaries sigh

♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°

“Pleaseeeee”

“Nope”

“But I need to so badly! Just please make me cum, Kook!”

“What did I say? Not ‘til later. At this rate I might not let you cum at all.” his words brought utter terror to your face. What did he mean not letting you cum at all? You've been so good all day! Just like he told you! This party fucking sucks anyway. As much as you love your friends coming over, there’s only so much you can handle before you start getting annoyed by their presence. Jungkook has been teasing you all day but the very peak of it was when he ate you out earlier like it was his last meal and at the very last second, decided to cease all contact from you and smile cockily. Asshole.

It doesn’t help that you've both been drinking and smoking a bit, so your horniness has only worsened since then. This mixed haze of being tipsy and high at the same time is just making you needier by the second. You’ve been clinging onto him and following him around your shared apartment the whole night while he laughed and chatted with your friends.

“You good, ____?” Jimin laughs. He out of everyone should know exactly how you feel, given him and Tae are constantly going at it, just like you and your beloved boyfriend.

You smile sarcastically, “Nah I’m perfectly fine, Minnie! Why do you ask?” you know exactly why he’s asking. You’re not really the best at hiding your emotions and your face says it all that you’d rather have everyone disappear immediately so you can fuck the shit out of the man you’re glaring at. He’s currently taking a few hits out of Hoseok’s “party bong” as he likes to call it. It looks very used and burnt out, you don’t know why he just won’t get a new one since you’re sure that’s some kind of safety hazard but whatever.

“No reason, just that you look like you wanna eat Jungkookie alive is all.” he smirks. You roll your eyes playfully and take another sip from whatever mixed drink Jungkook made you.

“He’s getting on my nerves.” you quip back. Jimin’s eyes crinkle as he laughs heartily. It seems like everyone finds your situation amusing but you. All you want is to have a proper orgasm! Is that so wrong! It feels like he’s punishing you and you haven’t even done anything! You go to sit on the couch with him, directly on his lap, while he watches Seokjin and Taehyung yell over Mario Kart. He automatically wraps his hands around your waist and smiles lazily.

“Heyy pretty girl.” he says gruffly. His voice always gets raspy when he smokes and your pussy throbs at his (and your) favorite pet name.

“Kookie,” you whine. “Please can we wrap this up and do something alone. Need you.” you start pouting in hopes he’ll finally cave. He chuckles and brushes a piece of hair from your face.

He leans in closely to whisper, “After they're done with this game, I promise I’ll take care of you, ok baby?” you look at him skeptically and hold up your pinky to ensure he means what he says. He giggles at your cuteness and wraps his long pinky around yours, kissing it to seal the deal. Your face immediately lights up at the prospect that you’ll finally get some dick. The more you think about it, the wetter you get. Maybe he’ll bring out the toys this time and use those on you. Maybe he’ll overstimulate you until you beg him to stop. Maybe he’ll let you take control since he’s been messing with you all evening anyway. The possibilities are endless and they cause you to squirm around on his lap. You quickly realize that your leggings are pretty thin however as you suddenly pause when you feel that your boyfriend is hard as a rock. Little did you know that he’s been suffering just as much as you have, he just likes to play with you a little to see how needy you could get. He can feel you throbbing through your leggings and it’s been driving him fucking crazy. He can’t wait for the guys to leave so he can fuck you in every room of this house.

He grips your hips tightly and gives you a warning look of “do that again and see what happens” you whimper and tuck your face in his neck. He smells so good. You can faintly smell the weed you two have been smoking but you can still smell his soft detergent and calming lavender he loves so much. You know his nose is sensitive so he only uses a small amount of cologne and it encapsulates him so perfectly. He pulls you closer and starts bouncing his knee slightly. Fuck. Now his thigh is consistently hitting your clit and your mind is getting fuzzier. The haze from earlier coupled with the fact that Jungkook is bouncing you like a baby is starting to make you whimper and moan a little louder than you’d like to. You know he’s fucking with you again. He loves seeing you like this. He leans down and reminds you Tae and Jin are almost done with their game and then you can moan and whine all you want. You nod hastily while you suck a mark into his neck to keep quiet. His knee keeps the same casual pace, as if your clit isn’t the main focal point of each bounce. He kisses the top of your head and laughs along at whatever the boys are arguing about as to not raise any suspicion. Although you’re pretty sure everyone can tell exactly what’s going on. The fact that everyone can clearly see you getting bounced on your boyfriend's lap is only getting you closer and closer. You bet you could cum like this.

“Ha ha! Fuck you, hyung! I told you I’d win!” Taehyung shouts jovially.

“Yeah whatever, brat! I’m definitely winning next time.” they both get up and stretch before informing both of you that they think they’ll call it a night. The rest of the boys agree and gather their stuff to head out. You hate to say it, but you couldn’t be happier that everyone’s finally leaving. Jungkook lifts you off his lap gently and to your horror, you can already see a damp spot forming on his sweats. He smirks and winks at you while he kindly escorts everyone out. Once the last person is gone and the door is closed and locked, he turns around and tells you to come here. You scamper over to him in a haste and attach your lips to his in an instant. He laughs at your neediness and backs you slowly to the couch. He sits down and puts you in his lap again while you both make out as if you’ve been deprived of each other. He grips your hips and grinds you against his erection that’s been straining against his pants for the better part of half an hour.

“My poor baby, was I too mean today?” he asks as he kisses down your neck and jaw.

“Mhm, I’ve been a good girl all day just like you said and you don’t even care.” you whine. He lifts his head and cups your face.

“Of course I care, baby. I’m so proud of you for being so good today. You want daddy to take care of you now, don’t you?” he says gently. It looks like you’re not the only one that fell into a bit of a headspace. You’re very aware that when Jungkook starts referring to himself as daddy that he’s already taken a dominant position. Meaning he’ll take very little shit from you. Not that you felt like being bratty today anyway. Good girls get rewarded and that’s exactly what you intend to receive. You nod and grind against him faster in hopes he’ll get the hint that you want him now. As always, he quickly understands and starts ridding himself of his shirt as you take off yours. Seeing all of his tattoos always does things to you. Especially the small bouquet of black roses he got for you. You still can’t believe he would get something so permanent on his body just for you but he was adamant that you were the love of his life. The memory made you emotional as you started to tear up slightly. You’re going to have to ask Hoseok what the hell was in that strain to make you so sensitive to literally everything. Jungkook stops unclipping your bra as soon as he sees your eyes well up.

His hands are right back to their position on your face. “Woah, what happened love? Are you ok?” you wipe your eyes and giggle bashfully and explain why you got so worked up. He smiled and kissed you softly.

“You know I love you, right? You’re so fucking cute. I love you so much.” he says as he leans his forehead on yours. Weed makes both of you so sappy. You can’t even find it in yourself to care as you bring him into another kiss. He continues to take off your bra and starts kneading your breasts in his hands. The action makes you whine and pull away from him.

“Daddy, I wanna cum now. Please?”

He chuckles and lifts you off of him to strip your leggings. His fingers trace over the damp spot of your panties and he pulls them back to see how wet they’ve gotten.

“My little girl completely soaked through these. Needy baby. If you wanted it so bad why couldn’t you just do it yourself, huh?”

“B-because I wanted to be good. M’ a good girl right?” his words confused you. Why would you take care of yourself when he does it so much better. Plus, wouldn’t he just punish you anyway?

“I know baby, you are a good girl. Besides, those tiny little fingers would just frustrate you wouldn't they? You need daddy to cum ‘cause my dumb babygirl can’t do anything by herself, can she?” his words make your lip tremble as you nod dumbly. He’s right! You couldn’t possibly do something like that by yourself. Only he can make you feel like this.

He smiles as you agree with no hesitation and pecks all around your face. This is your favorite place to be in. In his arms waiting for his instruction. Taking the lead is fun every once and awhile but being stupid and pliant is far more your speed. He makes you feel safe and adored. He makes you feel good.

His fingers swirl around your covered clit as you moan into his mouth. Your little noises and the feeling of his fingers getting slicker is making him painfully hard and he, too is getting impatient. He wiggles his hips and slides his sweats down to reveal to you that he’s been walking around with no underwear on. He’s been completely hard with no barrier other than his sweats. You feel like you could bust right then and there. As soon as you see his cock, you lick your hand and start stroking it slowly. Jungkook hisses and throws his head back.

“Little girl...don’t play with me right now…” you heed his warning and scramble to take off your panties so you can get him inside you as fast as possible. This is what you’ve been waiting for, and you’ll be damned if you fuck it up now. He steadies you as you prepare to sink down on him and he kisses you gently. The way he’s filling you is intoxicating.

“Fuck, this little cunt was made for me wasn’t it? My baby’s so perfect for me.” his words make you tremble. You both moan breathily once he’s bottomed out inside you. You grind back and forth slowly as you try to adjust to his length. Jungkook however, is just as impatient as you are. He halts your movements to grip your hips and lift you almost completely off of him and slam you back down. You gasp as he sets a pace for you quickly. Your walls clench as he groans out praises of how good you feel and how much he loves being with you like this. In his lap, bouncing on top of him, whining into his neck. He couldn't think of a better place to be. His hands slide down to your ass and grips it as he bounces you even faster. You moan loudly and bite on his shoulder in fear of getting another noise complaint from the neighbors.

“D-Daddy? M’ close. So so so so so close daddy please fuck!” your words are slurred since you literally cannot think properly. He laughs breathily. “I know baby, you feel so good. Fuck I wanna pump you full of my cum. Wanna get you pregnant.” his words only make you moan louder.

“Oh you like that? You like when I talk about filling your cute tummy with my cum? You want my babies, little girl? Hm?” your head bobs up and down as you nod. “Yeah- mm yeah want it so bad daddy please cum in me. I wanna have your babies please Kookie please. Wanna cum wanna cum wanna cum!” you whine. Seeing how absolutely wrecked you are is only getting Jungkook closer and closer. You look completely and utterly fucked out. If his baby wants his cum that's exactly what she'll get.

“Shh precious I’m almost there. Daddy's got you I promise. Rub your pretty clit for me, I wanna see my baby cum ok?” you immediately obey and spit on your fingers before shoving your hand between you two. You rub your swollen clit with quick flicks to get you to cum faster. You just wanna make Jungkook happy. You wanna be his good girl.

It didn't take long for your hand coupled with his cock pounding into your g-spot to get you to cum hard on him. Your limbs spasm and your vision goes white while you distantly hear Jungkook's moaned praises. He cums in you not long after with a whine and keeps thrusting a few times so you can milk him for all he's worth. You both pant heavily as his arms wrap around you tightly, wanting to be as close as possible. He pecks your head repeatedly and buries his face in your hair.

“I love you ____.” he sighs. You giggle and sleepily look up at him. “I love you more.”

[poetdreamerfool]

2022 Freestyle Series #13

Flyy Uni-verse Session #1 ⚛🚀🌌☄

they'd rather tear the world asunder then end world hunger black is beautiful but true beauty lies in what's under the messy shit that how I kick it the same way messi did wordsmith with wrath like the old testatment in the library and they shootin looks the only thing scarier than a black man with a gun is one with a book have a human reaction and get labeled a crook so the path less traveled I took rapping flyy like peter pan I ain't fucking with hooks just a lost boy with trauma playing ratoutiule to each beat that I cook

weed bong arm strong diction like like Louie on the trumpet hear 3 seconds of my shit how could you not bump it fuck a lay up how could you not dunk it buddha got me on my monk shit don't blaze with me bro cause all I do is flunk shit I don't ever pass unless its like t-mac off the backboard my pen mighty it got king arthur like "I want that sword" and his mans is like "my lord that's a foolish venture" spit like I got dentures blind to the bullshit like it got censured in a perfect storm I'm centered

enter the dragon but its puff and he got some magic its like mr clean with the stains of tragic on my psyche shamwow for why me? I used to pour and think I'm Hi-C like some orange drink it aint about what I am its about what I might be in my life I see real and it ain't what Mikey likey rolling down the alley shining like that boy on the trike be in that hallway all-day war is about peace quick link for the parley

daydreams of bezels in the watch the same color as Rose' for that I'm scheming like Kaiser soze touch my ends no way jose if the cops charging then its Ole' ole! ok ok that's enough found innocent on death row is how I go off the cuff scheming on the universe cause the world is not enough hate the hate love the love I don't play all that moderate stuff always dash my mans some bread if I got it we got it bruh like a zebra or tiger imma tiger uppercut to the upper crust wont stop till im swimming in bucks like scrooge mcduck make time for huey duey and luey cause even with all the shit they took I still give a fuck

[inkylegacy]

bing bong. thomas connor

dear god tumblr sure did delete this ask the first time i typed it up huh

Thomas Connor is SUCH an interesting character he should’ve gotten way more focus! It sure is a shame when he got some of that needed focus in dctl it came with. That. bruh

some more explanations:

in the game he’s a boris with a cool steampunk arm but also the only other change is looking permanently grumpy. like the arm is so cool but why he look like that

Thomas is such an interesting character with so much importance to the plot but he barely gets any screentime where he’s the actual focus! We know he played a big part in creating the ink machine, he helped make the Ink Demon, he feels guilty for the part he played in everything... but like, beyond that? I want to know what he was thinking during, not after! When the Ink Demon was freshly created and locked in Thomas’ office, and all the blame was unjustly on him. How did he feel about the Ink Demon? How does he feel about the Ink Demon? He created it, where’s my cool moment in the game where Tom has some proper reaction to it? Or it to Tom?

The dynamic thing isn’t even really about Allison to be clear, but about how we p much always see Thomas paired up with someone who’s his opposite in some way. His work for Joey, his work with Wally and struggle to teach him, even those brief bits of him butting heads with Sammy and Shawn (even if both of those are 😬). He’s always faced with someone who opposes him, like geez give this man a break no wonder he’s grumpy and tired. His dynamic with Allison on the other hand is just like... they are a couple I guess :| I’d love to see more of them together to actually see how they work together bc what we got can barely be called crumbs.

“that scene” is that scene in dctl. It did not need to be worded like that. That batds Shawn audiolog is up there as well

And yeah so much of what I like about him is me speculating on canon lmao nothing more to explain there

[ghostly-cabbage]

Frigid (Chapter 3)

Genre: Horror, Angst, Enemies to Friends

Chapter Rating: M (Language, Underage Drug Use)

Word Count: 5,326

AO3  FFN

<<Previous | Next>> 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear old Dad got home late that night while Wes and Kyle were tucking into a plate of pizza rolls. Wes heard the door open and his Dad's voice from down the hall.

"Tell Roger that it doesn't matter, whatever it takes, Mr. Masters expects it to get done." He walked past the living room without so much as a glance at the two of them. His voice faded down the hall punctuated by the sound of his door closing.

Wes snorted and stuffed another pizza roll in his mouth. Stupid Dad with his stupid government job. Why the hell bring them to Illinois just to ignore them? He curled his fingers into the upholstery of their new couch, gripping it until his fingertips ached and the smell from the Ikea warehouse threatened to make him sick. He forced himself to swallow the bite and shoved his plate onto the coffee table.

He got up and went to the kitchen for a capri-sun. If it hadn't been Kyle that bought them, he'd be pissed about that too. His Dad seemed to treat him like he was still in elementary school no matter how old he got.

Wes slammed the fridge door hard enough he heard the dressing and condiment bottles rattle inside. He went back to the living room, the TV illuminating the space in it's flickering light.

He flopped backwards onto the couch, pushing his back into the corner of the sectional, wishing it'd swallow him up. Kyle was watching some alien history documentary. How ghosts could be pure fiction but aliens were "science-fact" was beyond Wes. He rolled his eyes and got out his phone, pulling up his knees.

Instagram was a short reprieve, or it should have been. He scrolled past post after post of his old friends back in California, smiling wide in front of the beach, or the boys at the park playing basketball. Over there they hadn't even started school yet, and wouldn't until the end of the month. To say he envied them was a gross understatement.

"Are you gonna eat those?" Wes glanced up over his knees to see his brother pointing at his abandoned pizza rolls.

"Go for it," he said. Kyle scooped up his plate and went to town. Wes really should be doing his chapter reading for History, but the thought made him want to set something on fire. A part of him felt like he should be grateful for a fresh start after the divorce, but another part of him wanted nothing more than to dig his heels in. Just because his Mom was a liar and his Dad was an asshole didn't mean they had to move across the country, why didn't they get that? Maybe they did, and just didn't care.

He scrolled on his phone long enough for Kyle to watch another episode. By the end Wes had been sitting and refreshing his feed over and over again. He watched the buffer wheel spin, screen go white and the same post as last time take its most recent position at the top. He pulled down again, and watched the wheel spin for the millionth time.

"Dude, this is just depressing to watch."

He glanced over at Kyle, narrowing his eyes. "Got nothing better to do." It was a lie and they both knew it. Kyle flicked the TV off and stood up from the couch.

"C'mon." Kyle came to stand in front of him expectantly.

"What?"

"Let's go have roof time."

Wes made a face. "You're so weird, don't call it that. Cringy as fuck, man."

Kyle grabbed a pillow and swung it lazily towards Wes' head. "C'moooon lil bro! It's roof time!" He said it in a big brother voice that always pissed Wes off.

"No. Fuck off." Wes held up an arm to shield his head.

"C'mon!" Kyle insisted. "Don't you wanna spend time with your brother?" he pouted. He swung the pillow at him again.

"I'm gonna kick you in the balls."

"Weeeeesslleeeyyyy! C'mooooon."

"Oh my god, you're so fucking annoying." Wes kicked half-heartedly towards his brother. He held up both arms to try and fend off the onslaught of his brother's pillow attack.

"I'll stop if you agree to go sit outside with me, Wes! Surrender, you're out matched, kid!" Kyle picked up another pillow in his left hand, and continued batting at him. Wes tried to bury the beginnings of a smile behind a sour expression.

"You just—Ow, stop— You just wanna go get high, don't you?"

"Oh, absolutely. But you think I'm going to sit out there alone like some kind of loser?"

Wes anticipated his brother's next swing, and snatched the pillow from him. Now it was his turn. True to his word, he kicked a foot out directly into his brother's crotch. Kyle grunted and stumbled back a step, hands going down to grab his groin. Wes capitalized on his opportunity and lunged forward, springing off the couch to tackle his brother to the ground.

They hit the carpet with a loud thud, and became a tangle of limbs.

"Oh it's on, kiddo!" Wes couldn't hold back a laugh as he wrestled his brother. He attempted to push the pillow onto Kyle's face at the same time as his brother was trying to twist his arm around in a joint lock.

"Shut up, you're only a year older than me," Wes said, wriggling out of his brother's grip, and yanking his hat down over his eyes.

"A destined rematch to determine the stronger brother! A tale as old as time!" Kyle fought blindly to get a hold back on Wes. Wes whacked him on the side of the head with the pillow.

"You're a moron," he said without any real venom. Kyle flung his hat away.

"Don't make me purple nurple you like last time."

Wes hit him again with the pillow as Kyle tried to steal it from him. "Try it, bitch, I'll kick your ass."

"I did wrestling for two years!"

"Yeah, in middle school, now you're just lame and out of shape."

Kyle gasped. "Bro, take it back." He twisted the pillow hard to the right and broke Wes' hold on it.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You're not out of shape, just the lame part." Wes tried to get out of Kyle's reach to escape retribution, but he wasn't fast enough. Kyle got a hold of his shirt, and yanked him into a headlock. It had no real pressure behind it.

"Hah ha! What have we here? Could it possibly be that I win again?"

Wes rolled his eyes and pushed up on his brother's arm to break the loop. "Shut up, stupid-ass," he muttered. They broke apart, and Kyle stood up, offering him a hand. Wes accepted it with a puff. Kyle yanked him to his feet and punched him in the center of his chest.

"Ow."

"Kyle : 1 Wes : 0!"

Wes stopped. "Hey, wait, our score was up in the hundreds! What gives? I was winning you asshole." He'd challenged Kyle to a game of Horse last month and it had been a slaughter to say the least. Kyle was walking towards the stairs.

"Nu-uh, new-state-clean-slate, bro, we're starting over!"

"That's stupid, and I didn't agree to that. You're just a sore loser." Wes trudged up the stairs after his brother.

"Guess you'll just have to wait till our next rematch." Kyle shrugged, pushing into his room with a shoulder. Their rooms shared a wall, Kyle's being the furthest down the hall. They both had north facing windows that had access to the brow of the roof which overlooked the pool in the backyard. Moving from a place with obscene living expenses to the armpit of Illinois had its perks he guessed.

"Pick the challenge then. How about MarioKart?" he offered.

"After last time? No way dude." Kyle went to his bedside table to retrieve a small baggie of weed and his pipe and lighter. Not that their Dad ever checked, but a pipe was easier to hide, and less hassle than a bong. Or so Kyle said. Wes didn't really mess around with the stuff if he could help it. The times he tried made him so paranoid it felt like the end was nigh.

"Ugh, fine, princess. What about Smash?" Wes slid the window open and popped out the screen.

"Best outta five?"

"Sure, tomorrow after school? You can't play worth shit while high."

"Bruh, I'm great at playing while high, makes all the distractions just—" he wiggled his fingers— "fall away."

Wes snorted. "Sure, keep telling yourself that. The AI Pikachu wiped the floor with you." Wes climbed out onto the roof, scooting to the side so Kyle had room to clamber out. Kyle handed him his pipe to hold and followed after.

"No, that's not what happened, okay?" Kyle pointed an accusing finger. "I let that adorable little rat fuck win, because what kind of monster would I be if I destroyed Pikachu?"

Wes rolled his eyes. Kyle settled next to him, hanging his legs over the side and reached for his stuff back. Wes looked up at the sky, leaning his weight back on his hands. It was another clear night, the stars bright and unblemished. He heard the flick of his brother's lighter, but paid it no mind. The lack of light pollution was nice, if there was one positive from this whole situation, it was that.

The wind stirred, a chill laced in that made Wes wish he'd brought his jacket. He was looking forward to the snow. He'd only seen snow once when was ten and his parents took all of them on a skiing trip to Lake Tahoe. He remembered biting it on the bunny hill, and how Kyle laughed so much while picking him up that he'd dropped him more than once. The memory felt brittle, like if he touched on it too much it might break into a million pieces. It always felt like that, remembering what it was like to be happy, to be a family. His parents had broken enough, he wanted this thing, this one little thing to stay whole.

Was it childish to want that?

He glanced at Kyle, who exhaled a plume of smoke, the slope of his shoulders loose and relaxed. For all his flaws and his seriously maddening, downright annoying personality, Wes was glad to have Kyle. After the divorce they'd gotten closer, and he wasn't really sure where he'd be right now without his brother.

Not that he'd ever admit something so fucking embarrassing out loud. Jesus, what was he? He sounded like a Hallmark card.

He rubbed an eye, and laid back, the shingles of the roof cold against his back. The two were in a comfortable silence, Kyle too preoccupied with making short work of the bowl he'd packed to make conversation yet. That was alright with Wes. He was tired and still a little freaked out after today. He knew better than to bring up his run in with the ghost at school to Kyle.

This place was weird, and he had so many questions he felt like he was going insane. First thing tomorrow he was going to ask someone what the hell was going on in this town. He could try and ask the Danny Fenton kid, since his parents were apparently the ghost experts. He rolled the idea around for a few seconds in his head. Maybe it'd be best to ask more than one person. Leave Danny as a last resort.

He was staring at the first stars of Orion as they peaked over the dark horizon. That's when he saw it. His brows furrowed and he sat up.

"Dude, do you see that?" He smacked the back of his hand against Kyle's arm.

"What?" Kyle looked up.

"That!" He pointed. In the sky and getting closer was a glowing streak.

It wasn't a star, or a comet, that was for damn sure. It was flying in a wide circling pattern. It was fast, whatever it was.

Kyle gasped next to him. "Holy shit, a UFO." Kyle fumbled around to try and get his phone, in his haste he sent his lighter tumbling down the roof and off the edge. Wes trained his eyes on the shape as it got closer, squinting. Kyle had gotten his phone and had started recording, feverishly commentating about the time, place, and the appearance of an "alien craft".

Wes leaned forward, straining his eyes. As the shape wound closer it looked… almost humanoid? It seemed to move in a thoughtful systematic way. Like it was covering specific ground.

"I'm so putting this on my Snapchat story," Kyle said. He turned his phone towards Wes. "Say hi! In case it goes viral."

"Dude, stop." Wes pushed his brother's phone away from his face and back towards the… well. UFO.

As suddenly as it had appeared, it sharply changed direction and flew away, before blipping out of existence entirely. It hadn't gotten close enough to identify, but Kyle seemed to only care about his video and nothing else. Wes sat there thoroughly confused, staring at the point in the sky the shape had vanished into thin air.

"Clearly this is evidence of alien superior technology. The fact it sped up and disappeared so fast means they've cracked flight speeds faster than light, dude!" Kyle buzzed. He was tapping on his phone, already sending the video to everyone he knew.

Aliens, really? Could this day get any weirder?

"Look, look, Hannah, snapped me back." Kyle leaned over so they could both see his screen. He opened the Snap, and Wes saw a girl with blonde hair and dark eye shadow. He vaguely recognized her from school, part of Kyle's new stoner group of friends. The video showed just the top of her face as she looked down at her phone. Her eyes were crinkled at the corners.

"Kyle, what the fuck," she laughed. "That's not an alien, doofus. It's clearly a ghost. Probably Phantom. He flies around almost every night." She leaned back and sprayed canned whipped cream directly into her mouth. " 'Aliens'! Oh my god I'm totally telling Jennie." She snorted as she laughed and the snap ended.

Phantom? That was Phantom? The image of the ghost boy from earlier lingered in his mind. Kyle was already recording a video to send back.

"Hannah, obviously you have very little experience with UFO's. I know an alien when I see one and that was an A L I E N. Okay? Don't buy into this ghost conspiracy, it's what people want you to think, but it's probably all aliens! Or beings from like the 4th dimension, I don't know."

His brother's voice sounded too loud. His eyes traced the place where the shape… the ghost had been. He rubbed at his temples with his fingers. Kyle continued arguing with his new local friends, protesting the idea of ghosts. Wes sighed, a headache building behind his eyes.

He nudged his brother with an elbow. "I'm gonna get to bed." Kyle gave him a distracted goodbye and Wes headed back inside, mind swirling with the image of white hair and glowing green eyes.

***

Joy.

His sleep that night had been fitful and interrupted. He didn't have any nightmares, or at least none he could remember, thank God. But there were a few times he could have sworn there was someone standing in his doorway, watching. He shook it from his thoughts by busying himself with his camera.

The final bell for first period rang and with it commenced the beginning of the school day.

Students with no cameras of their own were having some checked out to them for photography class. The teacher told them to check over everything and make sure all previous files were deleted from the memory card, and there were no cracked lenses. He ignored the majority of what was being said.

When he was young he would use his Mom's camera. Just to mess around really, it wasn't like he had the lofty goals of being a professional photographer. But his Mom didn't see it like that. She bought him lenses and his own high-end camera for his 16th birthday. That was before everything fell apart. Before he found out about Emily.

Once the class started going he hoped he'd enjoy it and actually learn something. He was ready to start taking pictures already. Unfortunately, the day's class was all about the different buttons and functions on the cameras, explaining exposure, aperture and manually managing the iso. Uck. Yawn.

Towards the end of class Ms. Fletcher let them have "free time" to explore the options on their cameras on their own. Learn by doing and all that.

"This is way too much all at once," complained the girl next to him. Mia, was her name, if he remembered correctly. She had brown hair, and light eyes, her tan skin suggesting a mixed heritage. She was turning her camera around in her hands like a kid trying to find the on switch on a new toy. He smiled, turning toward her.

"First time using a fancy camera?"

She let out an agitated sigh. "Yeah. I took this class because I thought it'd be easy and I could just, I don't know, take cute pictures of my dog or something." She put the camera down on the table, gently, like she was afraid of breaking it despite her frustration.

"Yeah, it can be complicated at first." He lifted his own to inspect it.

"You brought your own, right? That's not a shitty school one."

"Yeah, it's mine. Birthday gift."

Mia whistled. "Pricy, your parents must be loaded."

Wes shrugged a shoulder, "I wouldn't say that exactly."

"Don't be modest, it's okay!" She patted him on the shoulder. "Plus I'm sure however rich your family is, it's nowhere near the Mansons."

"The Mansons?"

"Uh...yeah." She looked confused for a second before understanding flickered in her eyes. "Oh, that's right you're new. Sam Manson, the spooky goth chick that hangs around Fenton and Foley. She's in our homeroom class." She held her pointer fingers up by her ears to mime bat ears.

"Oh, yeah, her."

"She says she doesn't like people knowing even though it's super obvious. Her parents are always in the news for making donations and stuff."

They fell into an awkward silence, and Mia shuffled her feet.

"Well, uh. Tell you what. If you help me with this camera crap, I'll…" She stopped to think. "I'll give you the inside scoop about the school. Help you get caught up and fit in, ya'know?" She held her hand towards him. "Sound good?"

Wes would have helped her out even if she hadn't offered to keep him in the social loop. It could be useful, especially for a few things in particular.

"Deal." He shook her hand, a little surprised by her grip strength.

"I'm not as popular as Paulina and Star but I still have an ear to the ground. So if you want to know who's single or who can write your english essay on the cheap: I'm your girl." She pulled her hand back to jab a thumb at her chest for emphasis.

Wes chuckled. "Thanks. I actually do have some questions."

"Shoot."

"This Phantom ghost, what do you know about him?"

She looked surprised, before she smiled. There was something in her expression that Wes couldn't place.

"Phantom? Really?" She shrugged. "Alright, I see you." She scooted her chair closer to his. "Phantom showed up freshman year, no one knows why, but since he popped up he's been saving Amity from all sorts of ghosts." She said it like it was the most normal, perfectly sane thing. "Not only is he hella cute but he's also basically a hero."

Wes frowned in confusion. That wasn't at all what Mr. and Mrs. Fenton had said. "Why would a ghost help people? What's he get out of it? Also, isn't he… you know. Dead? Isn't it kinda creepy to have a crush on him?"

"How should I know? And dead or alive, he's still a total heart throb around here, get used to it." She sighed, looking fed up with his lack of understanding. "Listen, all I do know is that if an evil ghost is breathing down your neck your only real hope in this place is Phantom. Really, ask anyone." Wes' thoughts drifted back to his brush with death yesterday..

"You shouldn't be telling people the fantasy version of things, Mia," came a cold voice. Wes jumped, turning to look at the girl looming over them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, curly hair back lit by the fluorescent bulbs in the ceiling. Fantasy version? What was Valerie talking about?

Mia's face went from warm and open to closed and stand-offish. She crossed her legs and sat back in her chair.

"Oh come on Valerie, we all know you're not a fan of him, but you could at least try and be reasonable."

"Reasonable? Don't listen to her new kid," Valerie jabbed a finger towards him, "if there's one thing Phantom is good at, it's manipulating the public perception. Don't be fooled like the rest of this school, Phantom will ruin your life without an ounce of remorse."

Wes blinked, caught off guard by her ferocity. In chemistry she seemed like a perfectly normal, kind girl. He made a mental note not to get on her bad side.

Mia made a dismissive sound in the back of her throat. "He wasn't asking you Valerie, he was asking me. Butt out."

Mia and Valerie glared hard at each other, neither backing down. It went on for what felt like ever. Wes was afraid he was about to end up right in the middle of a cat fight. But eventually, Valerie let out a sound of disgust then turned and stalked off back to her table. Mia watched her go, gaze steady. Once Valerie sat down, Mia relaxed and let out a breath.

"God, she really needs to get that stick out of her ass."

"What the hell was that about?"

"Apparently freshman year her Dad lost his job and she's convinced it was Phantom's fault." Mia uncrossed her legs, sitting more casually again.

"Was it?"

Mia looked annoyed. "I don't know, I wasn't there." She ran her fingers through her hair, taking a small swatch and braiding it absentmindedly. "Listen, people have different opinions... but Phantom saved my life." It was small and serious the way she said it, like it was a confession. "And not just once but on several occasions. It's fine to ask questions, I don't blame you. But just wait and watch, then decide for yourself." Before Wes could say or ask anymore, the bell rang. Mia started collecting her stuff.

"See you tomorrow, Wes," she said brightly, as if the seriousness from before was just a figment of his imagination.

Sixth period rolled around and Wes was ready for the day to be over with already.

In his previous classes he'd asked other students here and there about the ghosts, and even if he didn't directly ask about Phantom, the conversation eventually led there anyway.

"Uh, yeah. Tomorrow." He watched her go, getting up and gathering his own belongings.

***

He did regret asking Star during lunch, which seemed to have summoned Paulina from the aether. She went on almost the entire lunch period about how her and the ghost boy were "meant to be" and how cute he was, with his snow white hair and tanned skin. Wes was debating faking a family emergency to get away from her. Talk about obsessed.

He shook his head at the memory and closed his locker.

He started walking down the hall, daydreaming about whatever gourmet frozen dinner him and Kyle would have later for dinner. He was about to turn the corner down the hall towards the chem room when he heard a raised voice.

Next up: Chemistry. At the thought he deflated further. He'd totally forgotten about the quiz today. Damnnit, Fenton.

He started walking down the hall, daydreaming about whatever gourmet frozen dinner him and Kyle would have later for dinner. He was about to turn the corner down the hall towards the chem room when he heard a raised voice. 

“Hey Fentina, watch where you’re fucking going.” He turned towards the sound to look. The halls were clearing, there being only a minute or so till class, but that didn’t stop the few scattered people from stopping to idly watch Dash Baxter slam Danny Fenton against a locker. Wes couldn’t help but wince. From the sound alone he’d guess that was going to leave a bruise. 

“You might be taller now but that doesn’t mean I won’t still flatten you, got that?” Dash announced. He was clearly making a show of it. Wes wondered why. Fenton was definitely the lowest on the social ladder, why would someone like Dash need to establish his power over someone who had none? Wes shifted his weight, remembering that trying to apply logic to bullies was a losing battle. 

Danny though… He seemed completely... unfazed. He looked at Dash like an overworked retail employee looked at a raving customer. The dark bags under his eyes and the uncaring air he had coupled with his black hoodie and torn jeans made him look like an emo band's wet dream. 

“Got it, now can we all get to class, please? I’m trying not to be tardy as much this year,” Danny said. Dash leaned further into Danny’s space. 

“Dream on, Fenton,” Dash leered. He leaned back and let Danny go. He made to leave, or at least Wes thought he was. Danny seemed to think so too. Which meant he was caught off guard when Dash turned and punched him in the stomach. Even from a few paces away, Wes heard the air rush from Danny’s lungs. He staggered a bit, arm wrapping around his midsection. 

Dash laughed and walked off, flexing an arm to his football team buddies who joined in as they made their way down the hall like a pack of hyenas. 

As if that was the cue, everyone that had stopped to watch went back to their own business, as if nothing happened. Wes didn’t know what to think at that moment. He knew everyone called Danny a loser, and he hadn’t exactly gotten along with the guy himself but… That felt like a step too far. He couldn’t help but pity the poor dude a bit.

 It had been a long time since Wes was the one pushed around the school yard. He remembered what it felt like though, and he had never been in a rush to expose himself to the kind of treatment again. In fact he’d done just about anything to keep himself from the bottom. He’d done his fair share of looking down on losers and saying cruel things to be accepted into the throng of popular kids in California. He wasn’t proud of it, as he got older he realized that. It made his stomach clench with guilt and shame. 

He’d have never done what Dash just did though. 

Wes watched Danny lean a shoulder against the wall of lockers and catch his breath. He glanced around, and when he was satisfied that no one was still watching, he straightened, took a breath and rolled a shoulder, nonchalant. 

Wes felt his brain stutter and stop. 

Uh. What? 

Just a second ago Danny was writhing in pain the way someone just punched in the gut would, and the next he was acting like he was fine. Like he’d just got done with a leisurely jog.  

At this point Wes was starting to wonder if he was being gaslit by this whole school, what the fuck? 

He watched Danny put a book into his locker, and then lock it up. He started down the hallway, no evidence he was in any pain or struggling for breath what-so-ever. Wes turned and walked towards the classroom. He didn’t want Danny to know he’d been watching from around the corner. 

Wes sat down, spreading out his stuff, trying to make it look like he'd been there for ages. A few seconds later the tardy bell rang. Another few seconds after that, Danny walked in. 

“Mr. Fenton, you’re late—”

“Uh-huh.” He didn’t make eye contact with the teacher, just made a beeline for their desk and slumped into his seat. Mrs. Merriweather looked ticked. 

“Pick up your tardy slip at the end of class young man.” 

“Yep.” 

Even Mrs. Merriweather seemed taken aback by Danny’s odd energy, but she said nothing else. Instead she jumped into the lesson plan for the day. 

Wes wasn’t paying attention. He was looking at his lab partner, still trying to figure out what he’d just seen. Maybe Danny had just been acting like it was worse than it was to… what, get sympathy? Have Dash back off quicker? Both seemed likely, logical. It must have been, what else could it be? 

Danny seemed to feel his eyes on him. He turned to Wes, his blue eyes sharp and angry. 

“What?” he snapped. 

“Nothing. Sorry.” Wes disengaged, looking down at his blank notebook page. He heard Danny sigh, but he didn’t know what sort of emotion drove it. 

Class dragged on, and they didn’t say another word to each other the entire period. But that wasn’t too surprising, considering Danny left in the middle of class. 

They’d just got done taking their lab safety quiz, and were handing them back when out of the corner of his eye Wes saw Danny shiver. He also saw a flash of… what looked like smoke? Vape? Was Danny seriously vaping in class? 

“Fuck,” Danny muttered under his breath and his hand shot straight up into the air. “Mrs. Merriweather, can I use the bathroom before we start the lab?” Danny’s typically tired and slouched posture had gone ramrod straight, and the air around him felt desperate and panicked. Mrs. Merriwether studied him seriously for a second, before she relented. 

“Alright, don’t take too long.” 

Danny scrambled from his seat and out the door. It left a weird silence in the classroom.

O….kay? That was weird, super weird. He looked around the class. A student adjacent to him caught his confused look and shrugged. 

“He just does that, always has. Some people think he has some sort of chronic illness or something.” 

“Quiet please, everyone. I’m passing out the lab instructions and then we’ll be getting started.” 

Wes couldn’t help but look towards the door where Danny had disappeared seconds earlier. He felt pretty safe in saying not only was the town weird, but everyone in it.  But maybe Danny more so than the others. 

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

animaniacs - s1e54: brain meets brawn

episode summary: the boys live with dr jekyll for some reason, so rather than mind his own business, brain decides to drink all of the Potion That Makes You Hulk Out without considering the potential consequences.

as usual.

the rundown:

we open at dr jekyll’s house.

again, you can tell it’s dr jekyll’s house because it has his name written on it. this time, he has a fancy sign on a stick so everyone can see it from the street. convenient! especially if he is a doctor? i don’t know lol. i don’t think it ever specifies. maybe he just has a doctorate in Being Large and Green with no regards to the practice of medicine.

homeboy looks weirdly like granny from looney tunes. maybe that’s what the potion is for? instead of hyde, it just turns him into a grandma. that would be fun!

oh. well. my mistake.

maybe this was some kind of experiment? i don’t know. honestly, i don’t remember why jekyll makes the serum in the first place. presumably, he has the antidote on the table too, but, uh.

yeah. RIP that, or whatever. give it a rest, you oversized muppet, you’re scaring the mice.

(there are, as per The Course, mice here.)

“egad”, says our resident Exposition Pinky, “dr jekyll has turned himself into that fearsome mr hyde again, brain.” for all of his personal worry, though, brain doesn’t seem too bothered, and instead decides to make this all about himself, as usual.

“yes, pinky. if only i could find a way to use that savage strength.”

delightful! the closeups are back. unfortunately, it soon pans away from Two Inches From Brain’s Face to highlight the rest of the plot of the episode.

phweeeet. i’m not entirely sure why the police are here. maybe they just heard a table getting knocked over and broke into the guy’s house. going around bothering people for minor loud noises and doing absolutely nothing about real crime or people in danger does sound a bit like what our police like to do.

“ere, that’s the brute! take im!”

hm. in the background, big ben chimes Four Bong, and the carnage immediately ceases.

“four o clock! tea time!”

“scone?”

“delighted.”

that’s just how things work over here, i guess.

eventually, they manage to haul him off, with a “roight, it’s jayel for you, mister hyde”

leaving the mice alone to contemplate.

i don’t blame them. i would be contemplating too, on account i have no idea what the fuck just happened. he drank the potion of Summoning The Police, i guess? why did he drink it? why did they just turn up? we literally don’t see him again.

while pinky ponders whether kids would still buy them if they were called Sad Meals (and i know i would, but i doubt mcdonalds existed back then) brain has more pressing observations.

“the british are obsessed with tea time, pinky. everything stops when big ben strikes four.”

and what a slanderous observation it is! excuse me brain?

EXCUSE ME.

HOW VERY DARE YOU.

HOW VERY VERY okay yeah actually you’re probably right.

anyway brain’s plan is to stop big ben at 4pm so it’ll be Forever Teatime and he can take over the british empire while everyone is having tea.

AND THEN THE WORLD we get two weird closeups in this episode.

“but you’d have to be some kind of hulking, muscular giant to stop that clock, brain.”

“exactly. as they say in rustic circles, bottoms up.”

(hoo hoo. it’s funny because he’s stood on the pyrex jug, which is tall, so he himself is tall, and also “up”, and also he’s yknow what never mind.)

GLOG.

pinky’s over there immediately, as soon as brain gets down* asking if he’s okay or if he feels anything strange.

*yknow, as opposed to up.

he kind of gets in brain’s face about it until brain loses his patience and tells pinky that he is angering him, and would he please--

DONK.

“naaaaaaaarf.”

there he is! the big boy. as a sidenote, i’ve only actually seen his design in.... fanart. this is the first time i’ve watched this episode! i love how he still has a red nose for no reason. it does not fit the colour scheme at all.

(i speak directly to the patb discord: do not make this weird for me.)

anyway his first course of action is apparently to smash a table over pinky’s head for no reason.

BRUH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

pinky squeaks out a “sorry i angered you, brain.” which is sad, but

seems to have an effect.

anyway, from that they work out that brain Gets Large when he is made angry, and then Unlarges when the person who made him angry apologises.

“anger me, pinky!”

“but zounds, brain, i don’t want tooooo.”

“PINKY.”

DONK.

see? works a treat.

so with that figured out, the lads bugger off to big ben.

but first, pinky requests that they make the bells play john jacon jingleheimer schmidt.

conclusion:

they do have some trouble getting there.

“look brain! that cloud looks like a big pomegranate!”

donk.

brain does not have a lot of patience, as should be obvious. still, even Larged Out, brain has enough mental fortitude to head to the main entrance to big ben instead.

“americans.”

brain takes this as an insult, and pinky narrowly manages to stop him from just straight up murdering those dudes.

they are, however, thoroughly knocked out, so the mice consider this a victory and sneak in.

it’s big.

like, i’ve never been to big ben, but if it’s open to tourists it can’t just be a big room with a massive death pendulum in it, surely? maybe the victorians cared less about health and safety.

the mice are also less bothered about this than i am, apparently. “there it is, pinky. the main wheel of big ben.” stop that and you stop the world, apparently. HE WHO CONTROLS THE TEATIME CONTROLS ALL OF BRITAIN ok he doesn’t say that. he does, however, maintain that he can stop the gears as Large Brain if pinky then goes and dislodges the pallette.

“now, make me mad.”

“HEY YOU. DUMBDUMB.”

“come on, you can do better than that.”

“YOUR MOTHER IS-- OLDER. THAN YOU.”

“pinky! try harder, quickly--”

DONK.

epic.

so pinky goes to dislodge the pallette.

“ NO̡ P̵IN͘K̸Y͞,͜ ̢T͜H͟E̷ ͞PA̧L҉LETT̢E̛.” brain is still surprisingly coherent in Large Mode, though, compared to hyde. huh. maybe it’s because he’s a smartboy or something.

“oops, haha, sorry brain.”

oh no.

oh dear.

oh fuck.

hickory dickory bonk lol.

“oh, i’m sorry brain.” says pinky, who already knows which way the tally is going, and holds his arms out for a hug.

donk.

well isn’t this an interesting development.

“egad, brain. i don’t mean to keep saying i’m sorry.”

i feel bad for giving pinky this, because really it’s more social conditionning than his deliberate fault. still, the episode ends with pinky repeatedly smacking brain in the head to attempt to reLarge him, so it’s not all bad.

brain: 3 pinky: 5 outside influence: 5

“once we enter big ben, i’ll use my physical prowess to stop the wheel, while you dislodge the pallette and disrupt the intrinsic mechanism.”

“what if that doesn’t work?”

“we’ll...... throw a big wrench in it.”