#just while playing chapter 9 all the dialogue just stops being voiced for me only

[sealpup9]

Im literally the only one in the world who cares about this but the fact that we got Cult of Verata lore from some random book laying on the ground in one of the new Secrets of the Obscure maps is everything to me

[clevercatchphrase]

2023 Year In Review~

at the time of me writing this, it is 8:11pm on tuesday night, january second. Let's see how long it takes me to type this entire thing. I expect no less than two hours. This is gonna be a long one, so I'm gonna put it under a read-more. Proceed only if you dare!

So! Another year down, another begun, and this is my.... 5th? time looking back on my year and assessing what I accomplished and what I did. Lots of changes and new things happened to me this year! Not nearly as many good things as bad! But first I'm gonna dig up my old resolutions list and see how well I did on them. Let's see... for 2023 I had 9 goals, six of which were serious and 3 of which were more casual. those goals were;

Read 12 new books in a year (one book a month)

Finish the Snowdin Arc before Ghost Switch's 5th birthday

Rewrite the 3rd draft of my Nanowrimo project from 2021/22

Write 4 one-shots for BSaPT

Solidify the details of the waterfall arc

The one secret goal

Finish writing the last 4 chapters of Clemency and finally post the dang thing

build a comic buffer of 8 pages, and finally,

write the crack fic

Of these nine goals, I achived... 4 of them, those being reading 12 books, finishing the snowdin arc before june 18th, rewriting my 2021 nanowrimo project, and finalizing the waterfall arc for Ghost Switch. All of these were serious goals, which I am proud of! but it was still less than half, which was a little disappointing. As in past years, I'll go into more detail below:

Read 12 books I BLEW THIS ONE OUT OF THE WATER! the grand total of books I read this year was THIRTY-SIX! three times as many! In fact, I forced myself to stop in order to have more books to read for 2024! Most of the books I listened to this year were through librivox, and mostly on my commute to work. Great way to pass the time! I wrote short little notes about the books I read on a personal discord with only me in it, so let me see if I can just copy and paste all of that here... (all of my original notes will be italicized, while additional thoughts on it now will not be)

1) Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Short, cute! Inspirational. About self actualization. Read by richard Harris. People call this a demonic book?? Apparently a fourth part added in 2014. Look it up later. (Edit; I never did look it up later. there's an audiobook for this on youtube, and while the voice is nice, there is, like, a solid 10 minute segment with a single violin note playing in the background and it is GRATING) 2) fire bed and bone. Ok. Middle of the road. Too focused on people and not the dog, but I get that's the point. it's ~symbolic~. Like the use of no dialogue and no name for the main dog 3) dogs of the spires book 1: reads like fan fiction (derogatory). Sentences go on for 4 or 5 words too long. Used the word orbs for eyes 3 times. Duke is ALWAYS FUCKING GRINNING. Half-brother reveal makes no sense and comes out of nowhere. How… Big/old is Step? Talks waaay too mature for a kid. What happened to Twig? Very tell and not show. Pink foam pink foam pink foam. Why are dogs separated? Hoe do the packs work? Why training? Not given enough to care for characters. Feels like a warrior cat reskin. Too rushed and yet nothing happens at the same time. (I was very curious about post-apocolyptic xenofiction this year, and this was one of the books I could find on the matter, but it's very childishly written and just... bad. Surprisingly, there seems to be a very tiny but dedicated fandom for it on youtube? the series has a fandom wiki anyway...)

4) old granny fox. Very cute! A little repetitive, but passable for a children's novel. Great introduction to xenofiction for kids. Wonderful audio book. 5)the adventures of Sammy Jay. Short sweet also a lot of fun. Both books are Definitely of their time with their usage of the word "queer" as a synonym for "strange/odd"

Now, this is a little known fact about me, but I'm secretly a massive furry. yeah, who could've guessed, right? Anyway, i'm always on the look out for good xenofiction, and when I searched through the "animals" playlist of the librivox youtube channel and stumbled across the books by Thornton W Burgess, I was INSTANTLY enamored. Old Granny Fox, and The Adventures of Sammy Jay were the first two I read/listened to, and was immediately captivated. I MUST give extra props to the narrators of these audiobooks, with some of the more frequent readers for this series doing unique voices for each character, which really added to the charm (Jude Somers and John Lieder particularly come to mind). I WISH I had these books as a kid. I love the way they describe animal behavior and reasoning. While it is anthropomorphized, it never crosses a line into "too" human, if that makes sense. There's another book on this list that is very similar to Burgess' work, with talking animals, but in that book, the animals make and read signs on the doors of their houses, and go to animal tailors to get their clothes fit. this doesn't happen in Burgess' work. Sure, they talk about their homes and the coats they wear, but it's all very intentionally conveying their natural states and habitats in a slightly more human way for us to picture them. Sure, the art on the covers of the books may say otherwise, but it's never depicted that way in the actual text. All their behavior is very animalistic, too, explaining their thoughts and actions in a way that would make sense for a wild forest creature. These books are a little gentle when it comes to the cycle of life. While the predator characters do need to hunt, they are always juuuust out of luck when they are the main character, and the prey characters juuuust manage to escape each time they're the focus. I will definitely be reading more of Burgess' books this year (the man wrote over 170 of them!), but expect quite a few more titles of his to pop up on this list.

6) adventures of jimmy skunk 7)adventures of paddy beaver (not much to say on these two. both were charming, but I feared I would have sounded repetitive if I just kept writing "cute!" in my notes) 8) my father's dragon Short, cute and silly. Listened to the audiobook. Does the physical have pictures? Not really so much about the dragon. Wish there was more after the ending, like what became of the dragon? (I also watched the netflix movie adaptation of this book. I.... could not stand the dragon in the movie. I'm sorry, he's annoying as hell) 9)adventures of buster bear

10)adventures of old mister toad.Favorite one so far. Puts toads in a positive light and describes them as beautiful instead of ugly or gross. [Burgess] Really appreciates all animals and their unique abilities and traits

11) The tale of freddie firefly. Ehh, okay. Not as great as Thorton Burgess' books, but still enjoyable. Not the same 'voice'. (this book was written by Scott Bailey) 12) The adventures of Chatterer the red squirrel. Fine~ Fun. 13) The Fox That Wanted Nine Golden Tales. Funny, short. Would make a good 22 minute short film 14)tale of master meadow mouse. Alright~ why do the animals know what groundhogs day and February are? How does mouse know how to write, and fox to read? Do they wear clothes? Mention a tailor frog. Oars for a raft. Don't like the animals being described as "(color) person". Feels like it's missing an adjective, ie "feathered" or "furred". (This is what I was talking about above. Scott Bailey wrote very similar stories to Burgess, but something was just... off about is writing style. ) 15) the adventures of reddy fox. Okay. Feels like an earlier book. Not as kind as the other ones. (I later looked it up and confirmed this was one of the earlier books in his series, and this one was, like, his tenth ever published one)

16) the adventures of jerry muskrat

17) the tale of doctor Doolittle. Fun! Kiiiiiinda racist in the africa parts, but an overall good time! (I'm more familiar with the Doolittle movies, but was surprised to learn that Doolittle's ability to speak to animals was something he learned with effort and practice, and not a magic power or weird innate ability of his. It was an interesting read!) 18) Nomads of the North. Fun animal romp. I Flinched at the use of "fat" "tar baby" "half breed" and "Indians". First half is mostly about the bear, then a sudden sharp turn to mostly about the dog. Kinda meanders, has no over-arching through-line, conflict or plot. (Apparently a movie was based off of this book, but focused more on the humans than the animals. Eh, it was the 1920s. what can you do) 19)falcons of nerabedla; short sci-fi novella about a bodyswap time traveler. Its… Fine. Not the greatest. A little too confusing and kind of wish they explained things more earlier on. Not really about the falcons. Even for a sci-fi, still pretty sexist in the future.(honestly I don't even know if I should count this as it's own book. I'm pretty sure it was a short story inside a bigger magazine?) 20) south American jungle tales. Enjoyable! Very strong jungle book vibes with a South American flare. The story with the racoon was pretty dark, though. 21) a gryphon's journey. Too fast pace. Characters have a habit of spilling their entire backstories onto arias without prompting. Not enough show, not enough explanation of how the gryphons work. Some aspects completely pushed to the sides, like the satyrs and naugi until the end. Very rushed. The skyhaven arc could have been its own book, the stygagryph arc could have been it's own book. The heron gryph arc could have been it's own book. Not enough time to get to know the characters or care about them. Arias speaks far too maturely for his age, I feel. (Still on a gryphon kick from the last... two years now? Mostly I'm waiting for the fourth book in the Griffin Ranger Series to come out before I read the third. The author said it would come out before the end of 2023, but that date came and went and it still isn't on amazon at the time of writing (which is now 9:26pm, jeez...) I want to read isthmus so bad, but I don't want to wait on a cliffhanger) 22) myths and legends from Alaska. Okay. Feels very white washed and overly simplified. missing nuance. Reader is so deadpan and monotone that the audio book was a slog to get through (One thing I was determined to do for my own enrichment this year was to read more legends and mythologies from other cultures. There are SO MANY cool creatures and monsters and ideas out there, and I just feel so LIMITED by the small amount I know. We humans come up with some of the craziest shit imaginable!) 23) the white czar; a story of a polar bear. Bad, boring, incredibly racist. Barely about the bear at all! 24) the twins of buster bear. Another thornton w. Burges book. Its middle of the road. Certainly not bad, but my least favorite so far. Just kinda dull, and the audio book was horrendous. (honestly if the audiobook wasn't so bad, I wouldn't have disliked it so much, but it was a CHORE to listen to this one. I mean, thank you librivox for doing all this work for free, but is it too much to ask for some sort of vetting process for your volunteer readers??) 25) the wishing stone stories; BEST thornton w burges book so far! I would have been obsessed with this book as a child. Transforming into animals to learn about their ways. Not super PG like the others. The animals hunt and kill and get killed. 10/10

26) lightfoot the leaping goat 27) Toto the bustling beaver. Both alright. Nowhere near as charming as thornton Burgess, but endearing none the less. A little more 4th wall breaking. Toto audio book fun with silly voices, but I don't like the description of "tramps". A little too humanized for me. Lightfoot audio book fucking trash. Almost gave up. (Both of these books were written by Richard Barnum, another children's xenofiction writer of the time, but I quickly came to realize that his writing style is just not for me. I listened to a handful of his books too, this year, but they left me feeling uncomfortable more often than not because common attitudes of the time period reeeeeally show through his work.) 28) the adventures of poor misses quack. How do these qualify as adventures. She lands in a pond, dumps her backstory for 60 percent of the book, finds her mate and lives happily ever after. Not very strong, not very adventurous. 29) Mother West Wind "When" Stories; a lot of fun, charming, Aesop fable-esque. Fun mythology for children. A little too much peter rabbit, but I understand why he's there 30) the adventures of tamba the tame tiger. Yeahhhh, this series isnt my thing. A little too humanized, and the audio book is fuck GARBAE. (Pretty sure I meant to say "fucking garbage" there, but "fuck garbae" is funnier)

31) joust 32) alta 33) sanctuary All really good! All revolve around dragons and their usage and care. The books are a liiiiiitle too serendipitous, with the right thing always happening at the right time. Vetch/kuron doesn't "fail" enough. Second book is the best so far because the magi are a legitimate threat and it feels like time is running out so they must always stay one step ahead. (All written by Mercedes Lackey, all about dragon husbandry with a nice Egyptian flare! Check them out! But... maybe skip Aerie, the last in the series. It's not really worth it.) 34)aerie weakest one. Ahketen was absolutely unbearable and I didn't like the literal deus ex machina at the end with the actual gods coming down to help. Final ranking in order from best to worst; 2)alta, 1)joust, 3)sanctuary and 4)aerie. 35) the adventures of johnny chuck. Fun, average. Simple but doesn't need to be complicated. First of the thornton books ive read where the main character forms a family with children as the main focus 36) blacky the crow. Fun and charming as always. Feels a little simpler than the others with only 3 main mini stories, two of which involve stealing eggs. I wonder if I can find a box set of these books. (Aaaand that wraps up all the books I read this year! 15 of them were from thornton w burgess, and I hope to read even more from him this year! If you know of Burgess' books, tell me your favorites! I'd love to discuss them with someone~)

2.WHOO! the time is now 9:50, and I am just starting on talking about my second goal, which was to finish the snowdin arc of Ghost Switch before its 5th birthday. I did this! I did this exactly on june 18th! (for public readers, anyway. Anyone on my patreon got the page early, but a one week difference isn't much in the grand scheme of things.) I also get to say that I passed the Snowdin Test this year! "What is the Snowdin Test," you might ask? well, it's something a mutual acquaintance of mine, from the Fan Fic Paradise discord I lurk in, made aaaaall the way back in 2018, right when I was just startin' out with Ghost Switch. (Hi, Vikingaspoke, I don't know if you follow me on tumblr, or even have a tumblr for that matter, but I want you to know I thought about your thesis every single day since you first posted it, and have been determined (har har) to succeed where so many other undertale stories have failed. I did it once with my Epic-long fan fic, You Monster, but to do the same in comic form was a new and unique challenge. it took me almost 5 years, but I got there in the end! Cutting out the memories, I've officially concluded snowdin and started waterfall just this year!) I've also got to mention that I think my estimation on how long it will take me to finish Ghost Switch is slowly unfolding to be oddly accurate. I've never made a comic this long, but back in 2019, when I made an anniversary comic for Ghost Switch's 1st birthday, I guestimated that it would take me roughly 11 more years to finish the story, meaning it would take me 12 in total from start to finish. Well, we are rapidly approaching the half-way point of the comic, and if I haul ass it get to 312 pages out by the 6th birthday, we very well might actually hit it. I haven't drawn up to page 312 yet, but it's strangely close. Granted, my guess didn't account for the length of the flashback segments, which may push it back, but the sheer Idea that the "vibes" I got on how long each arc would take just by roughly judging the time it took me to finish ruins as a baseline to compare... it's just weird, man. I just "felt" that snowdin would be 1.5 times as long as the ruins, waterfall 2 times as long as the ruins, and hotland+New Home also 1.5 times that of the ruins. I have no metric for this since the final scenes were not written out yet. It just... feels like it should be that, and I'm kinda scared at how on track it's been.

3. Third goal was to Rewrite my Nanowrimo project from 2021/22. I did this as well! It's still no where near a final draft ready for beta readers or anything, and towards the end of the year I got distracted writing the second book in the trilogy because this is an epic fantasy story so it just HAS to have three books. Maybe I'll self-publish these stories one day. it sure is the most passionate I've ever been about something original i've ever written, but I want to make sure the entire rough draft of all three stories is done first so I can easily go back and add hints in previous parts without having to retcon anything later down the line. I've already had to do it once, so no doubt in my mind I'll have to do it again when I start trying to wrap things up in the final book. Speaking of the sequel, that was my nano project for this year! I won, but much like 2021 and 22, I didn't finish the book. my 21/22 project ended up being roughly 80k words, and I still expect to add about 10k more when I add some missing scenes and flesh out some description. I don't think that will happen with the second book. If anything, I expect it to barely stick around 50k in total because I just know I wrote a lot of filler and junk and repetitive stuff in the first draft this year because I was STRUGGLING with nanowrimo this year. Idk yet if I'm going to make a rewrite of book 2 my nano project for 2024. we'll have to wait and see how I'm feeling once september/october rolls around.

4. My fourth goal was to write 4 one-shots for my fic collection of Blankets, Socks, and Pillow Talk, over on AO3. I didn't do this, mostly because I was too distracted with my original fiction this year. i DID write one one-shot, hilariously during nanowrimo when I was suffering from writers block. Hopefully this year will be different. I would like this fic collection to at least hit 50k words so it could be a full novel of short stories all on its own. I think I can do it, I just need the time and inspiration.

5. My fifth goal, and last one I achieved this year was to finalize the details of the waterfall arc. I'm sure I've said it before in the past, but all the major story beats for Ghost Switch were planned out well before I even drew the first page, but the scenes connecting them were filled in more as I went. Rest assured, I make sure the entire arc is scripted before I start it, but my dirty little secret is that the snowdin arc wasn't completely written until I nearly finished drawing the ruins arc, and I was well into the snowdin arc before the final scenes of the waterfall arc were written down. It is now, and has been for at least 10 months. This was a goal I always knew I would achieve. Sometimes the resolutions I make are things I know are gonna happen whether I want them to or not. Sometimes you just gotta give yourself a guaranteed win to boost your self-confidence, you know? (now I just need to do the same for the Hotland arc. I think it's gonna take me 3 years minimum to finish waterfall, just like it did snowdin, so I got time, but the sooner I figure out the dialogue, the better. Will I make that a goal for this year? Ehh, probably not. I just wanna focus on building a buffer first)

6. The one secret goal was not achieved. If it was, this post wouldn't nearly be as long and you all would have heard about it as soon as it happened. Idk if it will happen this year, or anytime soon. A vicious combination of anxiety, the economy, and the uncertain state of the world make me hesitant to even attempt this goal.

aaand those were all my serious goals for this year! the time is now 10:37, I am tired and dizzy. I'm gonna save this as a draft and get back to it tomorrow~ nighty night~

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OKAY! IT'S JANUARY 3RD NOW, 8:34AM! LET"S CONTINUE!

my three casual goals, none of which I accomplished, were;

7) Finish writing clemency. While I didn't do this, I did think about the story a lot. If you've been around since late 2022, You'll know that when AI writing generators started gaining popularity, news broke that the internet was scraped for data sets, including fan fiction websites like AO3. This extremely pissed me off because Fan Fiction is... well, I guess there's no better word than "sacred" to me. The unadulterated desire to write, create, share and expand on media that has touched us, inspired us, (hell, even angered us!) and to do this all purely because we can and we want to, just to make connections with other people who were fans of the same media, people we may never meet, thousands of miles apart from us, who we can touch and inspire in turn... Fan fiction is a gift. it means so much to me, from the professional writer who writes ficlets as an exercise, to tweens just starting their creative writing journey by imagining themselves hanging out with their favorite characters, to the hobbyists who wanted to imagine how things would change if just one thing happened differently, to those who feel underrepresented in media, and want to see themselves be the hero. People working through shit, people who are just bored, people who love a story so much they will retell it a hundred times over so it never has to end. Young, old, girl, boy, fluent writers, to writers in fandom where english is not their first language. It's an amazing, nearly incomprehensible melting pot that can connect us all... and some CEO jerkoffs just wanted to steal all this heart-felt work and feed it to a machine to make a quick buck. I was so enraged, so violated that works of passion could be abused this way that I locked down all my fics on AO3, and you now need to be logged in to read any of them, and I didn't write a word of fan fic in over a year. Every time I thought my anger had cooled off, more news would come up about "AI" generated stories appearing in the kindle app, or authors having works published under their name without their consent because thieves are trying to make a quick buck with their identity to trick fans, or hear that tv show and movie writers being told they are worthless and replacable, and I would get mad all over again. I'm still mad just remembering it, and until actual laws are in place regarding the use of "AI" in art and writing, I'll stay mad, and my stories will be under lock and key. If some good has come out of it, I focused a lot more on original fiction this year, which I haven't shared online at all, so no fear of that being stolen, but I do miss writing fan fic more regularly, yet I can't stand the thought of something I make for fun being taken and used by someone else to line their pockets. It's like... the antithesis of the purpose of storytelling to begin with and makes me sick to my stomach.

WOW! That sure was a rant! Let's move on! My 8th goal and second casual one was to make a comic page buffer of 8 pages. I almost did this one! At one point, (like, the second week of december) I had a buffer of 5 pages because I was finishing up Memory 5 of ghost switch, but then I realized I could line up the end of the memory with the end of the year, and I ended up posting all of my reserve pages in, like, a week! During those weeks, though, instead of making more pages to keep the buffer supplied, I played a lot of video games instead, which I hadn't done since... october? because I didn't touch my PS4 at all during november while I was writing for nanowrimo, and I missed playing Horizon Foridden West and wanted to get back to it. Maybe this year, though? I'm dead set on trying to get to 312 pages before Ghost Switch's 6th birthday, which is, like, 30 pages away, so I gotta improve my output process regardless.

And the 9th goal of mine and the last of the casual ones, was to write that crack fic. This goal has been on my resolutions for a couple years now, but I still haven't done it. I'm gonna blame my AI hatred grudge for this, since it made me not to want to write any fan fic at all this year. I'll get to this someday, but maybe now I should put it on the back burner for some newer goals and projects~

Okay! The time is now 8:57! if you're still reading this stream-of-conscious ramble of mine, it's time for me to list off my goals for this year!

IN 2024 I WOULD LIKE TO...

Read 12 new books this year (one book a month)

Reach 312 pages of Ghost Switch by June 18th (the 6th birthday)

Build (and maintain!) a comic buffer of 8 pages

Go walking on 3 new greenways around my neighborhood

Go camping by myself

Make at least one new song comic

Finish 4 video games to as close to 100% as I can (currently looking at Horizon Forbidden West, the original Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Blue, Carto, Alba, Stray, Journey, Unraveled and The Talos Principle 2, as these games currently entice me the most, but I still want flexibility and options if one game ends up not clicking)

Finish the first rewrite of my 2023 nanoproject (this will probably end up being my nano24 project, if i'm being honest with myself)

Write 4 one-shots for BSapT

-- These 9 goals I want to be serious about, but like last year, I have some casual goals i want to do as well. They include...

10. Get reacquainted with Neocities and make a personal website

11. Learn to code to improve said website/learn to make games

12.Listen to the entire royalty free youtube library for reasons

13. Research every d.o.n.g. ever featured on VSauce, for neocities reasons.

I feel like I had a couple more off-handed things I wanted to do this year, but these 4 casual things are the only ones I can remember at the moment. Maybe I'll come back and add to this list later.

Alright! The time is now 9:37AM, and I have to go run some errands/do some house chores! Saving this again as a draft to come back to this later!

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Okay! Done with errands, and it is 11:30am on the nose! Time to resume my inane ramblings and hopefully finish this thing within the next two hours.

One thing I mentioned in my recap/review of 2022 was that I never actually felt like I was looking back on the year in depth. So much was forgotten or blurred together with other years because I didn't keep track of it. Well, this year I kept a monthly diary, again in my personal discord of 1, and wrote in it whenever I felt anything of note or significance happened to me, or whenever I had reoccurring thoughts or feelings. i managed to write in it at least once a month, often times twice, that being every two weeks. I found the whole experience quite therapeutic, frankly, and I'll share snippets of it now, though I will cut out the more personal entries. Be forwarned! A lot of the following text is straight up copied and pasted from my diary entries, so there is a lot of misspellings and short hand. I'll try to fix some of the more obvious ones, but these paragraphs are just as stream-of-concious writing as the rest of this massive post. Anything in parentheses with A/N is me adding context right now on the present day!

january 5th, two very close coworkers of mine quit due to upper management being petty. These two employees had worked here for nearly two decades. They were married to each other and were the mom and dad of the work base, with everyone else relying on them, looking up to them, and going to them for their problems. Them walking out scared everyone lower on the pecking order, because we felt that we were no longer protected from manager bullshit with them gone. I was off the day they walked out and didn't get to say goodbye. the grief I felt upon learning they left caused me to have my first ever anxiety attack that night. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. I try to keep in touch, but we don't talk much due to our age gaps and busy work lives.

in January I also had a body-horror nightmare that still makes me squirm just thinking about it. I dreamt no one in the world wore pants, but we were all cool with it because we had pockets built into our legs. Not like... fabric sewn into skin, mind you, I mean naturally evolved extra flaps of flesh over our thighs like the pouch of a cartoon kangaroo. flesh pockets. even in my dream I could feel them. the insides were surprisingly dry and smooth- no sweat or hair in there, but the sensation was uncomfortably irritating, like when you rub your knuckles too much and it feels sore. worst part of this dream was, I woke up, thought "thank god I'll for get this in a few hours", but then watched cartoons later that day and saw a... tom and jerry(?) short where tom also had built in pockets on his body which made me remember everything, and now I can't forget.

February 8th. Watched The Flight if Dragons. Good, campy 80s feel. Drags in some parts, rushed in others. Some aspects feel like they have 0 explanation. (How did peter separate from gorbash? Did peter know that denouncing magic would vanish him from the safe haven? What happened to the princess's parents? EVERYTHING with the wolf and whatever was going on between the huntress and knight. I also Watched 1996 dragonheart. Slow start, but good fun. Pretty decent cgi. Acting is downright TERRIBLE in places, but it was good campy fantasy fun in the end.

On february 14th, I dreamed of a haunted house, but the house wasnt malicious. It felt like a friend that worried for your safety when you left, because it was rooted to the spot and could not come to you when you were in trouble. I did not stay long, and felt melancholic when I had to leave. Once outside, I turned around and said "goodbye house" and waved it farewell. Then, in all the curtains and windows, dozens and dozens of shadowy human arms waved goodbye to me in return, wishing me well and safe travels. It would miss me, but not keep me prisoner, because a house is only a home if you had the freedom to leave and return when you wished.

March 18. I got recommended a video on YouTube about screen savers, and it reminded me of one that our family computer had in the early 00s. After searching for a while, I rediscovered it; the createacard screensaver pack. So many buried memories unearthed. The sense of wanderlust and inspiration and not over such beautiful art came rushing back to me; https://youtu.be/zFPKmnegK0c

I was generally tired for all of march, not having much energy for any project outside of my comic, and even that was starting to wear me down.

I played a lot of kingdom hearts 1 in late February/early march. Synthesized the Ultima weapon for the first time. Cried farming sniper wilds and stealth soldiers because they unsettle me. I'm trying to grind to level 100 before the game is over. Debated on doing a kh song comic this year (A/N: This did not happen)

I want to redo my personal website. Wix added an image file size limit, and my whole site currently surpasses that twice over. The wix site editor is slow and finicky any way. Looked into blogspot and WordPress. I want to start a xenofiction book review podcast. Are solo podcasts popular? I Looked into neocities. Felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and child-like wonder. Made my own account/basic website, but haven't edited anything yet.

I got hit with the seasonal depression late February/early march, watched some home gardening videos on youtube and got inspired. The videos I watched were about people building actual massive scale pond and lakes, but I just went to home depot and Lowe's and Wal-Mart, bought, like, 12 different kinds of vegetable and flower seeds, 3 long rectangular planters and 2 massive bags of dirt. I also bought some peat seed starters, a plant heating pad (which I might just give to my cat) and a plant light. I spent over 150$ total.

My cat turned 5 years old on the 15th this march as well!

In late april I got really into analog/digital horror args and unfiction realities. Been watching a lot of Night Mind and similar analysis videos (I'm too lazy and dumb to try and solve them myself).

April 28th. Maternal grandfather might be passing soon. He's been in and out of hospitals since late January, needs around the clock assisted living, and my mom and her sister are constantly having to take time out of their lives to help him. I hate it. It's stressful and aggravating to mom, the assisted living people are incompetent, and my mom is stretching herself thin, running ragged trying to do everything at once. It's not fair to her. It's not fair to anyone.

May 11th. Mom's computer has a solitaire program with hundreds of versions of solitaire, most of which have gone unplayed. Ive been trying new games and learning them through trial and error (the "rules" tab doesnt work because it accesses a file that is no longer installed on this computer). Ive found new favorites in "twenty" and in "carpet". It makes life just a little bit more interesting.

June 4th. Been really into watching blind lets plays of undertale from 2022/3 lately, as well as dissection/discussion of undertale's music. Also into shayy's undertale mods. Glad the fandom is still having fun with this game. Got interested in pokemon infinite fusion. Downloaded it, but havent played yet. Getting back into PMD, though I have to grind now for leveling and evolving mons I cant recruit. Took a break from listening to librivox books, but might pick it up again. Same with checking in on flight rising. This year will be it's 10th birthday iirc

Looked at my ao3 recently and noticed I havent written anything in over 6 months. Still mad about the AI data scraping. I didn't stop writing entirely though. I spent all of October, November, January and February writing an original story, and still really proud/excited about it. Finished typing the rough draft on Wednesday, taking a break before I start edits.

All my flowers I planted in February are dying. Has a lot of rain this year. I think they're getting over watered.

June 6th. Been thinking a lot about Hawaii recently. I miss my old school and house. Went to Google earth to look at it again. I think our old neighborhood of [REDACTED] was razed and rebuilt becuase the streets dont look the same. This makes me feel… Not quite sad or bitter, but hurt none the less. I knew ever since we moved here chances of going back would be slim, but knowing my most nostalgic childhood home is gone forever…

Saturday June 17th fucking sucked for everyone. Two coworkers got seriously injured at work. My car battery completely died and couldn't be jump started. Had to call for a tow and wait 2+ hours for it to arrive. Wanted to cancel but they told me I would be charged even if the tow never arrived. Got charged 80 extra dollars for a "wench fee" I didn't need, but they talked to fast for me to think about it. Massive accident on the 4-lane highway home put all traffic down to 1 lane, and we were stuck there an extra hour. Dairy Queen's lobby closed early, going to drive through only, sonic was OUT OF ICE CREAM, and the local grocery store was almost sold out too. Did not get home until almost 10pm. Both my car AC and my mom's car a.c. don't work. I FUCKING LOVE OWNING A CAR. IT'S SO MUCH FUN AND SO FREEING.

June 28. Been playing a new video game recently; horizon forbidden west. Price dropped by 50% on Amazon and I had a 10$ gift card so I got the game for 1/3 the launch price. It's okay so far. Been slowly exploring and uncovering the map, ignoring the main story and discovering secrets. There is definitely A LOT more to do in this game than in the first. Dont really like a lot of Aloy's line deliveries. Some of the controls are different which throws me off. Robo enemies cool as ever, though noticeably fewer dinosaur ones.

Mom continues to take care of her dad. Aunt does too. All of mom's free time and energy this summer has been stolen by him. She keeps insisting she won't have to look after him as much when he gets better. I don't think he's ever getting better.

All my flowers I planted back in March have died. It's just too damn hot for them. It's too hot for everyone. We have just hit ten straight days with weather in the triple digits. I'm miserable.

Might have to replace my laptop soon. It's almost 12 years old, the battery doesn't work anymore, it overheats, and it's super slow. Looking into gaming laptops.

June 29; grandfather passed away last night. All I feel is relief.

July 11th. I got gifted my grandfather's bed, but had to switch it back out with my old bed because it was too soft and fucking up my back. No lumbar support.

July wrap up: month went by sooo fast I can hardly believe it. Its too fucking hot. Texas is stuck in a heat cyclone. Havent played solitare in a while, or listened to audio books. I managed to do 7 jigsaw puzzles this summer, and hope to do one more. each one has been 1000 pieces minimum, with two being 2000 pieces, and 1 being 3000. I should have taken more pictures of them finished, but it's fun to know we finished one puzzle per week this whole summer.

August 5th; Wish I recorded some smaller details throughout the year, not realizing id want to recall the last time I did something. When was the last time I intentionally watched a movie or listened to a specific song? (but then again, how will I know I'm going to think the exact thought; "when was the last time I did X specific thing?") I rewatched wolf children 2 months back for the first time in years, same with relistening to HeyHiHello songs. Been having a lot of lower back pain lately. Stretching helps, but I can no longer sit or sleep in my favorite position without cramping up. I need to be perfectly straight and i hate it. (A/N: The very next night I pulled a muscle in my back so bad I thought I was paralyzed. for the first time in years, I had to call in sick to work because I could not physically move from my bed)

August 19th. Went to a chiropractor. No pinched nerves or slipped disc, just a pulled muscle. Stretching helps and have been wearing a back brace. Finally had grandpa's memorial on the tenth. It was nice to learn he made friends at his community center. I'll try to be out going when I'm old too. Doctors would not sign his death certificate for 7 weeks because they just didn't give a shit, and we finally threatened to call a lawyer. He finally got cremated.

August 30th- recently had to go to pepboys to get my car fixed again. It was "stuck" in neutral. Grandma came and picked me up to let me go home. She said she doesnt plan to be driving much longer and intends to give her car to me. I dont know how to feel about this. Grateful for the future gift? Sad that she is getting older? I had to have my car towed and had to leave work early, which I hate doing because it makes me feel like I'm leaving everyone else to do my work, but I did not want another repeat with the towing situation that happened in june.

September 19th. I finally put on my brave face and ordered a new laptop for myself earlier this month (the 5th to be precise) and today it finally arrived. I bought myself an HP omen gaming laptop. It's so nice, but also different and a little scary trying to adjust to all this new interface. I went from using windows 7 for the last 11 years to jumping into windows 11. It'll be an adjustment. Gotta re-download all my old programs and transfer my files. Hope my drawing tablet will still work on this laptop. Might have to buy a new one of those as well. I already hate the subscription model being used if you want to do ANYTHING with the tech YOU BOUGHT nowadays. Goodbye microsoft office! It was fun while I knew you! I got libreoffice now! Fuck off adobe! OpenShot and Shotcut are my video editing programs now! I still need to learn my way around OBS, opentoonz, and pencil2d, but I gotta say there's something.... rustic? homey? about having a desktop full of opensource programs made by people who want to help other creatives free of charge. I miss the days where you buying something meant you own it forever, but free homegrown programs updated by community feels friendlier than just owning a shiny "offical" big named piece of software, I gotta admit.

The new laptop is wonderfully fast and silent. It cost me 2 grand so I hope it lasts just as long as my old one. There is no removable battery from what I can tell, which is sad. Also no disc drive. The keys light up rainbow which is cool (but I had to turn that feature off to improve battery life). I customized the desktop background to some concept art of the videogame RiME. (I thought I had saved the default bg pic from my old laptop to my external hard drive, but I guess I hadn't?) Funny to me that in the 10+ years of owning my second ever laptop, I never changed the wallpaper because I liked the default art so much. Might add more art to a file and have the wallpaper rotate. I want to replay RiME again too. Love the simple gameplay and strong colors of that game.

October 4th. So much has happened in 2 weeks, it feels much longer than that. I pretty much completely switched to using my new lap top ad my main computer, transferred all the files, downloaded a bunch of open source software for writing documents, video editing, streaming and animation. Fuck you Microsoft. I shouldn't need an account to use basic microsoft word. Hope to bring back page making streams next year for patrons~ ive even been playing some steam games that my old laptop just couldn't run, and quite a few new ones as well. Candleman, carto, so many fun and charming titles~ replaying snakebird because all my progress was lost 🥲I'm not mad. I love snake bird.

I have so much desire to do so many things, but not enough time to do them. I need to queue up my november posts for tumblr before I go on break. I need to get my oil changed soon. I want to go back on steam and play more humongous entertainment games. I want to write, I want to draw, I want to animate, I want to learn how to quilt and crochet and garden. I want to do it all right now all at the same time. I want to go on a nature walk. I want to see my friends.

Its finally starting to cool off. We still get in the 90s easily, but it rained last night for the first time in weeks, and we havent hit 100 degrees in a couple of days. Been reading a lot of webtoons lately. Been having the urge to start my own with my original storylines, or at least use webtoons as a backup/mirror for my fan comic. So many unique stories there all ready. So many fun art style and worlds to get lost in. I love stories and the people that tell them. The joy of creating a tale and sharing it with the world is humanity in its purest form.

November 1st: youtube is cracking down on adblockers. Havent had any problems yet on desktop, but on this day, my default youtube app on my lg smart phone started showing me ads for the first time in the 8+ years I've had it. I was so mad that i forced stopped the app, and logged into youtube through an ad block browser app instead. Some of the app's features will be missed, like being able to watch a video and search at the same time, but these little annoyances are nothing compared to the fury I felt at being shown ads. I didn't write nearly as much as I wanted to for nanowrimo today because of this.

November 6th: I turned 31! Both my friends forgot my birthday, and I wasn't able to reserve a camping site for the April 8th eclipse next year! 🙃 ive been writing like mad for nanowrimo, but I'm still falling behind.

December 17. Has it really been a whole month since i last made a diary update? Thanksgiving came and went. No drama at our house but my mom and I watched an argument unfold in the yard of our neighbors. The one mobile game I play, dragon's world, officially shut down for me 4 days ago. I'm a little sad I could never 100% it, but glad I got as far as I did, and even managed to buy some dergs so it didnt feel all my hard earned gems went to waste. Havent uninstalled the app yet out of nostalgia, even though I only played this game for a year and a half. I made the mistake of reinstalling the google play store to look for a new dragon raising game, but none had the same appeal, and the reinstall caused my discord app to update and hate it ):< I kinda want to learn how to make a mobile game of my own like dragons world, but with gryphons instead and a focus on rescue/rehabilitation and zoology angle. (I mostly just dont like how common fighting is in these kind of games.) Finally been playing horizon forbidden west after a few months away. I'm not progressing the story, just trying to max upgrade all my gear. It's a fun challenge~

December 26, 2023. Got bit by a dog at work on Christmas. Right on the nail of my middle finger. He broke my nail but not my skin. Its odd. Thankfully I can still draw without much issue. I got a tetanus shot and flu shot just to be safe. Mom got me a tent for Christmas because I plan to go camping by myself next year, even though I wont get to see the eclipse on my outing.

The fan game undertale yellow came out on the 9th… Which was before my last journal update? I've been enjoying the game play but the story is just a little... eh. the sprite work is phenominal, though, no complaints there. I hate that it's making me want to write my own AU version of it already to "improve" it, since I think the story loses its way pretty much once you leave the ruins. (maybe I can try to shove it into Clemency in stead since i still haven't finished that either).

I watched a documentary on kangaroos on netflix this month. I had to play it at 1.25 speed because I swear they slowed down every single clip for the film to get it to a certain length. I also watched "dog gone trouble" which had terrible voice work and awful character design, and then "back to the outback" which was surprisingly well made even if the characters stumbled sometimes, but I'd easily recommend it. I want to watch more Christmas movies before the year is through. (A/N: this also did not happen).

Finally uninstalled dragons world today. My phone's been acting up. Hope I don't have to replace it soon. I don't like how, nowadays, the technology I pay for, I don't actually own, and features are being removed left and right. I'm afraid any "new" phone on the market offered now won't nearly last as long as my current one has.

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Aaand that was a brief glimpse into my year! The time is now 1:10pm! I already have one other post going up today, so I'll queue this one to go up on thursday instead~ if you managed to read this far, thank you so much, i guess! I hope my ramblings don't make you see me differently as a person. It's odd reflecting on where I was in my life over these past 12 months, remembering my state of mind and the feelings I felt as I wrote these entries. I'll be sure to do it again this year.

Overall, did I learn anything?...no, I don't think so? I did come to the realization that at the end of every year, in multiple youtube videos and tumblr posts, people mentioned how hard the year was for them, but like... after june, for me, everything improved quite a lot. it doesn't feel right to say that 2023 was hard for me. It was unbearably sad for me at the beinging. annoying and (physcially) painful half way through, but once august hit... everything slowly started to get better, despite the small petty things I complained about in my journal entries above. youtube ads, car troubles and discontinued apps of games I enjoyed still feel like small potatoes when compared to what I accomplished. Finished writing a draft of personal fiction, finished a major arc of a fan comic, got a new laptop to stream and share art with others, played a bunch of new video games, and generally enjoyed life for the latter half of this year.

And it almost feels selfish to say that... I'm happy.

I hope I can stay happy in 2024 as well.

Thanks for reading~

Have a safe and joyous 2024~

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 9 - ao3 -

Lan Qiren was groggy with lack of sleep the next morning, but an evening’s contemplation of the Lan sect’s rules had put him back into the right mindset.

As a disciple of the Lan sect, he was entitled under the rules for his elders to remember do not disrespect your juniors just as he was required to respect and obey your elders. Pursuant to the rules, he should have the protection of his sect and their support, and if what he had was imperfect, it was at least something; for every Lan Ganhui that mocked him, there was a Lan Yueheng that encouraged him, and there were plenty of teachers that preferred him over all the others.

As for his brother – Lan Qiren should not hold his anger against him. He had been acting in the best interest of the sect, seeking to obtain benefits for what had been lost; he had thought throughout the trip that Lan Qiren had given up more than just his word of honor, but had refrained from punishing him accordingly. In the end, even his father had assigned him only to kneel, which was a milder punishment by far than he deserved for all his mistakes and insolence.

More than that, his brother was right: Wen Ruohan would be bound by his own word of honor and public reputation to treat Lan Qiren with dignity, and by endorsing the relationship rather than rejecting it, his sect was indicating that they would hold Wen Ruohan to his word. His father had appropriately expressed concern on Lan Qiren’s behalf, his brother had refuted those concerns with well-reasoned logic; it was inappropriate for Lan Qiren to take such an intellectual discussion to heart.

That he had – and that he had forgotten, even temporarily and in the privacy of his own head, the rule do not argue with family for it does not matter who wins – was merely evidence once again that Lan Qiren was inferior to his brother, who through keeping a cool head had enabled their sect to turn what could have been an embarrassment into a victory.

As for his father…Lan Qiren shouldn’t have been surprised, that’s all. Hadn’t years and years taught him that fathers only gave what they chose to give and no more? He had long ago learned that his father was kind and noble and equitable, concerned with all the Lan sect disciples (but for his dearly beloved eldest) in the same way and the same manner; being disappointed to receive that and nothing more was only his own foolishness.

(He only wondered, in passing, why it had been his father’s glacial voice that had scared him so, compared to the familiar warmth of his brother’s anger.)

So fortified and reassured, Lan Qiren returned to the regular flow of daily life at the Cloud Recesses.

It was not easy. As his brother had predicted, rumors about his sworn brotherhood with Wen Ruohan sprang up at once, and many of his fellow disciples were prone to staring at him when they thought he wouldn’t notice. The teachers handed out many punishments for breaking the prohibition about talking behind people’s backs, although with a certain leniency that made Lan Qiren suspect that they themselves toed the line of that particular rule behind closed doors.

The rumors themselves were split between those that theorized that Wen Ruohan had used nefarious means to entrap Lan Qiren and force him to agree to brotherhood – the Fire Palace was mentioned often, as were various theoretical misapplications of cultivation techniques of dark and unsavory natures – and those that skipped over the how of brotherhood and went straight to speculating as to the why, which typically also involved a variety of references to misapplied cultivation techniques, this time of the sort most often found exclusively in certain types of low-brow spring books.

Someone even suggested that Wen Ruohan intended on taking Lan Qiren to bed as a cauldron, which was the stupidest idea out of the whole lot.

“Of course that can’t be true,” Lan Qiren patiently explained to Lan Yueheng, who had come to collect his geometry book. As a gesture of thanks for his support, Lan Qiren had read the whole thing and sent an annotated list of questions and comments; Lan Yueheng had practically turned pink with excitement when he’d seen it and then secluded himself for two days to write a response. Lan Qiren still didn’t see the appeal of geometry, but he’d managed to coax Lan Yueheng into a discussion of the mathematics of music theory, an area in which their particular interests overlapped, and he had hope of a fruitful dialogue continuing into the future. “At least traditionally, cauldrons are individuals with high cultivation potential that has yet to be developed – raw natural talent, in other words, which can then be refined into strength for another. My inborn talent is only moderate, even low, and my progress is primarily due to good resources and hard work. So even if someone put in the work to make me a cauldron, they wouldn’t get much out of me.”

Lan Yueheng nodded, his brow wrinkled thoughtfully. “So your brother would’ve been a better cauldron than you.”

“…that is correct, but please don’t say it.” Lan Qiren quietly pitied Lan Yueheng’s etiquette teachers, and spared a thought to hope that his cousin’s children, should he have them, would take more after whoever he married than him. Even if only because Lan Qiren hoped to become a teacher himself one day, and he was sure that Lan Yueheng’s particularly brash and un-Lan-like bluntness would make for a terrible future student. “Perhaps it would be more helpful for you to think of it in the sense of energy transfers of heat? I’m already cold, so to speak, so he wouldn’t be able to draw out much heat from me.”

“Wait, if you’re cold and Sect Leader Wen is hot, would that make him the cauldron? Assuming you ever did dual cultivate.”

Lan Qiren pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s...not how that works, Yueheng-xiong. At all. I was merely attempting to use a metaphor to clarify the issue. Clearly I failed and only confused things further.”

Lan Yueheng shrugged. “At least you try,” he remarked. “And when you fail, you try again, doing something different. It’s better than the teachers who just do the same thing every time and blame you for being as bemused on the seventh repetition as you were on the first.”

Lan Qiren felt his ears go red at the compliment. “You’ve been here too long,” he reminded his cousin. “Your parents won’t be happy to see you spending too much time with me.”

“My parents don’t care. It’s my aunt and uncle who don’t like it. They say that people might start asking if I cultivate as a cauldron too –”

“Your parents listen to your aunt and uncle, so if they don’t like it, you shouldn’t disobey them. The rules say Be a filial child.”

“They also say Do not form cliques to exclude others, but that isn’t stopping the other disciples from playing favorites, is it?”

That was definitely one of the rules more honored in the breach, Lan Qiren thought with a sigh. But what could be done, when their elders did the same? The sect followed the example of its leader, and his father’s tendency towards favoritism were well known, albeit one that was widely indulged as a quirk rather than condemned as a serious flaw. 

“I will remind the teachers of that one,” he said. “Perhaps a refresher would be suitable, to remind people. But the rule are meant for your own discipline, not others, and – ”

“Just because other people aren’t following the rules doesn’t mean I shouldn’t, I know,” Lan Yueheng said with a sigh of his own. “I’ll go…oh! It’s getting late. Weren’t you supposed to go to the guest’s pavilion by the western watchtower already?”

Lan Qiren blinked. “I don’t have that patrol route in my schedule until the end of the week.”

“No, no! I was supposed to tell you! Lao Nie’s come to visit, and –”

There were rules against running in the Cloud Recesses, so Lan Qiren was slightly late despite his best efforts, but true to form Lao Nie didn’t admonish him: he only turned from where he was sitting in the pavilion and smiled, calling out, “Qiren! There you are!”

“Forgive –”

“Forgiven,” Lao Nie interrupted before Lan Qiren even got the first word out. Lan Qiren was relieved to see that there was neither food nor tea already prepared; he would have been mortified if it had grown cold while Lao Nie was waiting to see him. “And don’t bow, either. How have you been? Tell me people aren’t harassing you over the nonsense with Hanhan.”

Lan Qiren opened his mouth, then hesitated.

“Do not tell lies,” Lao Nie observed, grimacing. “Ah, Qiren! Sometimes your brother’s worse than useless. It’s a pity, really, I hadn’t realized – well. At any rate, I’ve been bothering him for weeks to tell me about you and he wouldn’t say a word.”

“He was angry at me for messing up the conference,” Lan Qiren explained.

Lao Nie’s eyebrows arched. “You mean the conference where the Lan sect got first place in both major events and then extracted serious concessions from the Wen sect in a completely unexpected and nearly inexplicable political coup that got the whole cultivation world talking in awe at your political acumen? That conference?”

“I lost face for him. He thought – well, he’d thought it was worse than it was,” Lan Qiren hesitated. “He’s not the only one.”

Lao Nie huffed. “People are, by and large, stupid,” he declared. “Don’t let them get to you. They’ll change their tune soon enough.”

Lan Qiren wasn’t so sure. “They say a reputation is like a porcelain vase,” he said, unable to conceal his worries in the face of someone actually expressing concern rather than curiosity. His dream was to be a traveling cultivator, and that would be much easier with a good name, which he had always had before – good, or at least boring, which was just fine with him. He preferred to be boring! It had never occurred to him that he might do something that would render him the subject of gossip; it had never happened before. “Once cracked…”

“Right now, there’s only some bored people speculating that there might be a crack,” Lao Nie said. His confidence was contagious; Lan Qiren couldn’t help but relax a little in the face of it. “No one’s actually sure about it, and they’re willing to hear otherwise – things aren’t yet so bad. Don’t worry. I’ve spoken with Hanhan about it already.”

Lan Qiren felt his ears burning in shame. “Lao Nie! You didn’t!”

Especially since that would undoubtedly only make Wen Ruohan even more angry…

Lao Nie laughed and put his hand on his head, rubbing it lightly. “I did. Not in your name, but rather his own – do you think the Wen sect wants to get a reputation for being led by a man with an unhealthy interest in noble-born children? It’s in his interest to get this cleared up as much as you.”

Lan Qiren felt the tension rush out of his shoulders all at once. That hadn’t occurred to him, but now that Lao Nie had pointed it out, it was clear enough.

After all, for all the talk going around about Lan Qiren, it was widely agreed that he was clearly the victim in whatever scenario they’d thought up, whether through having his oath extracted under torture or by force; even among those who theorized that Wen Ruohan intended to use him as a cauldron, the reputation Lan Qiren might get would be, at worst, that of a seductive flirt who couldn’t be resisted. Lan Qiren’s brother had scoffed audibly the first time he’d heard that, saying that such a rumor would naturally be dispelled the moment anyone came in contact with Lan Qiren for more than a moment, and in all honesty Lan Qiren agreed with his assessment. He had the classic Lan sect looks, yes, but so did many others, and he had a demeanor as stern as a schoolmaster, giving off the feel of an old man even though he wasn’t even of age.

Meanwhile, for Wen Ruohan, the consequences were undoubtedly more dire – if he was said to have a taste for boys, especially noble-born ones, the other sects might be afraid to send their sons around him. It was a different reputation by far than his taste for torture, or his supposed use of dark and forbidden cultivation; those would make people fear him, while lusting for children would only make people disdain him.

Still, Lan Qiren wasn’t sure how exactly even someone of Wen Ruohan’s cunning would go about fixing such a mistake – and that was putting aside why he would make such a mistake over Lan Qiren in the first place. He hadn’t had a chance to explain to his brother his theory that Wen Ruohan had acted just to irritate Lao Nie, and in the end he’d decided it wasn’t worth drawing his brother’s attention back to the subject.

Besides, if Lan Qiren could figure it out, with his notorious inability to understand interpersonal affairs, then surely his brother was more than able to do the same. It wasn’t as if Lao Nie were being shy about it…

“Hanhan said he had something in mind,” Lao Nie was saying, shaking his head. “He usually does, I find, and each idea’s more awful than the next.”

Lan Qiren shifted a little from one foot to the other. “If you know he’s awful, why do you…” he hesitated. “I mean, you call him – an endearment.”

“Oh, he’s a little awful, no doubt,” Lao Nie said, sounding rather fond. “But as long as it’s not my sect, what do I care? Anyway, Qiren, you shouldn’t worry. If there’s one thing you can trust with Hanhan, it’s that he takes care of anything associated with himself.”

Lan Qiren didn’t really like the fact that he was now counted among that number.

It didn’t seem all that safe.

“Though of course that doesn’t protect him from you,” Lao Nie added, suddenly smirking, and Lan Qiren blinked owlishly at him. “Apparently, you’re a very talkative drunk.”

Lan Qiren’s face burned red.

“And effusive, too! According to Hanhan, even after you forced him down in his seat to keep listening to you, you kept waving your hands around while you were talking and knocking things over; he had to pin you down to keep you from destroying things by accident.”

That would explain the marks on his arms.

“Apparently, you didn’t appreciate him doing that and kneed him right in the –”

“You really think he can make the rumors go away?” Lan Qiren hastily interrupted, rubbing the back of his neck a little as if it would make the heat of hideous embarrassment go away. That tallied up a little too well with the physical evidence to be anything other than accurate. “There’s – a lot of them. And I’d like to have a clean reputation.”

“You will,” Lao Nie said, thankfully distracted from his mortifyingly plausible story. “Anyone who meets you will know at once that you’re a righteous and upstanding person.”

Lan Qiren liked that better than the way his brother had put it.

“It’s just that you haven’t had a chance to make your name in the cultivation world,” Lao Nie said. He sounded sure of himself. “You’ll do wonderful things one day, Qiren. I’ve no doubt.”

“I don’t want to do wonderful things,” Lan Qiren said, scowling. “I just want to travel around and help people.”

“Yes, I know,” Lao Nie said, and he sounded fond again, just the way he did when he was talking about Wen Ruohan, or even Lan Qiren’s brother. Truly, Lan Qiren thought to himself, the Nie sect had no idea how lucky they were to have him as sect leader. “Really, Qiren, it’s like I said: don’t worry about it. Now come, tell me what you’ve been studying recently.”

Lan Qiren had promised himself that he would reduce the amount of time he spent with Lao Nie on his occasional visits to the Lan sect, not wanting to risk inciting Wen Ruohan’s unreasonable anger and jealousy any further.

He would need to assign himself an appropriate punishment for breaking that promise, he thought, and sat down to start telling Lao Nie all about the work he was doing with one of his teachers on comparing the origin points of the various Lan sect rules, as well as his experiments on arrays to enhance open-air acoustics that would, he hoped, eventually be inscribed on all Lan sect instruments to increase the range and impact of their spell songs.

He even mentioned the possibility of a joint project on the mathematics of musical theory, and for whatever reason he thought Lao Nie looked especially pleased about that.

He didn’t think about Wen Ruohan at all.

[vrishchikawrites]

I suck at writing dialogue.

Any advice, senpai?

Ok *rolls up sleeves* I have 10 tips!

1. Give characters individual vocal characteristics.

2. People don't write and speak in the same way.

3. Read the sentence in one breath.

4. Think about what the character would say and wouldn't say.

5. Characters interact differently with different people.

6. Use Dialogue to show what's happening and people's opinions on it.

7. Mind the dialogue tags.

8. Avoid cliche phrases.

9. Avoid saying obvious things.

10. People often don't respond logically or answer questions.

I've elaborated everything below and cut for length.

1. Give characters individual vocal characteristics.

LWJ has his famous 'mn' and I tend to use 'aiya' with WWX to showcase his casual manner of speaking. Nailing character voices at first is important to create natural dialogue. Clear vocal characteristics help readers identify one person from another, especially if you don't want to overuse identifiers like names or pronouns.

2. People don't write and speak in the same way.

People will sometimes skip articles, forego a few grammar rules, and will almost always shorten words and sentences wherever possible. Instead of saying, 'I'm hungry, I want to eat' most people will say, 'I'm hungry, want to eat' Remove all unnecessary words from the dialogue as much as possible, even if the character is considered talkative.

Use italics if you want to emphasize, ellipses to highlight pauses and indicate hesitation, dashes to also highlight sharper pauses. Use them instead of saying words to describe the situation.

3. Read the sentence in one breath.

When you finish writing the dialogue, read it out loud to see if you can say it in one breath. If not, add a pause or a full stop at appropriate places.

4. Think about what the character would say and wouldn't say.

LWJ speaks very efficiently. He always makes his point without speaking too many words. You wanna condense such a character's sentences as much as possible - without making him sound robotic because afaik, he doesn't sound stiff and robotic in Chinese (i may be wrong). WWX, on the other hand, is liberal with his speech but he's not verbose. To me, he doesn't say unnecessary words either, he just tends to elaborate more than LWJ does.

Before you create dialogue for any character, you'll need to understand what is characteristic and uncharacteristic for a person to say.

5. Characters interact differently with different people.

A person's tone will change based on who they're talking to. WWX will be more open and playful with LWJ, he'll take on a more mature edge when interacting with the juniors, he'll be distant and respectful with LXC, and distant but with an edge of sharpness with LQR.

Examples from the first chapter of Trapped and Patient

With WQ - "This is madness." He protests, "You're giving me too much credit!" With a stranger - Wei Wuxian taps on the table, smiling at the notes as the wine bottle is placed in front of him, "My friend, does that man come here often?"

With JYL - “Shijie! You know how restless I get,” His voice is cheerful, “What can I do here? I’m just sitting on my hands and languishing while everyone else is out there, preparing for war-”

With Sect Leader Yu - Wei Wuxian frowns, “Very well, I’d like to personally speak with them before I accept any sort of offer.”

With LXC - “I will tell you all, of course.” He assures and looks around, “I heard a few rumors and decided to offer my services to you and Chifeng-zun.”

With LWJ - "Lan Zhan! Lan er-gongzi!" He greets, elated, "I missed you!"

Everyone's tone changes based on who they're addressing and what kind of situation they are in.

6. Use Dialogue to show what's happening and people's opinions on it.

In T&P - Ch - 2 - WWX and LQR have a conversation and WWX says this:

He glances at Lan Qiren, “You have been in my position before, Elder Lan, was it a privilege?”

With it, WWX is able to explain his position in a way that is relatable to LQR, establish a connection with LQR, and lay the foundation for their relationship down the line.

LQR's response is an indication of acceptance and truce. It is also a conversation between adults instead of an elder and a teenager. If I played my cards right, I have showcased that LQR's perspective has shifted and WWX has grown enough and is cautious of his new position to take LQR seriously like he didn't before.

“Good. It is past time you live up to your potential, Wei Wuxian.”

Dialogue can establish the foundation of relationships better than paragraphs worth of description can and it does it in a way that is more personal.

7. Mind the dialogue tags.

He said, she said, etc, are sometimes necessary and sometimes they're not. If you can clearly identify the speaker, there's no need to add the tag. If the conversation is a rapid-fire exchange of words between two parties, you can forgo tags entirely.

He grins sheepishly, “I seek advice from you against his wishes, Zewu-jun. Forgive me for being a bit anxious.”

Lan Xichen waves his hand, “We’re both older brothers, are we not?

“Tell me about your new cultivation. It is remarkable.” There’s genuine interest in Lan Xichen's voice, “Where did you come up with the idea?”

“You’ll laugh,” Wei Wuxian says-

This dialogue uses the tag 'WWX says' only once and the rest of the conversation doesn't have it. Be conscious of the tags and where you use them.

8. Avoid cliche phrases.

Few things pull a reader away from a story than cliche phrases that people will rarely utter in their life. An exchange like this - "Why are you doing this?" - "Because I love you, damnit!" has become too common and isn't as effective as it used to be, especially when a character is confessing for the first time.

Best way to avoid cliche or cringy dialogue is to read the sentence out loud and consider whether it sounds natural.

9. Avoid saying obvious things.

If you've already written a paragraph on how eerily quiet a forest is, there's no need for a character to say - "It is quiet here isn't it?" Especially if the character is someone like WWX or LWJ, who are naturally observant. Don't let your character explain everything you have already described in text unless they need to explain it to someone.

10. People often don't respond logically or answer questions directly.

People tend to not answer questions directly. Even in serious conversations, they'll go about it a round-about way.

Wei Ying is silent for a while before he laughs softly, "Aiya, Lan Zhan, I already know what you wish to ask." Wangji waits patiently for permission and Wei Ying huffs and nods, "Yes, you may."

"What did you eat?"

Wei Ying picks up Wangji's hands and presses a gentle kiss on them, lacing their fingers together. He lingers for a moment before sighing, "My Hanguang-jun doesn't deserve to hear of such grim things."

Wangji curls his fingers because that might as be a confirmation. His heart breaks for his beloved and he closes his eyes, "Your husband wishes to know, Wei Ying."

"Mostly some small critters, Lan Zhan," he admits, "Sometimes I'd dig up roots of trees. They were softer and easier to consume. I managed to catch a few birds. Bugs, earthworms, maggots, crickets- they were plentiful.

WWX doesn't give a straightforward reply without LWJ coaxing things out of him. Characters lie, deflect, evade, blurt out excuses. LWJ consciously doesn't interrupt people but it is natural for people to interrupt each other's conversations too. Sometimes people will take a frustratingly long time to get to the point. You need to incorporate that.

"Hanguang-jun, surely you understand! Our village has faced draught ever since these children arrived and we finally know why! The Gods are displeased with us!"

Wangji looks at the children, feeling a stir of concern at their wan faces. They've already been beaten black and blue by angry villagers.

"I'll be taking the children," Wangji looks at his husband in surprise but doesn't voice any objections. It is rare for Wangji to deny his husband anything these days and Wei Ying's desires are often simple things, easy to fulfill with the greatest pleasure.

No one directly replies to the person who has spoken. That's also a common thing. Every question or comment doesn't need reciprocation to carry dialogue.

Of course, this is my amateur attempt. I would also recommend doing some online research. Hope this helps?

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-20 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19  ♦️ ♦️  7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

NXX Base

It was yet another new day. In the NXX base, Artem was updating the case information for Simon. After completing upload of the video recording, he had a sudden moment of absentmindedness.

Artem: I wonder how she’s faring…

He looked at the common screen on the side. On the massive Stellis map, faintly-flashing markers indicated the other NXX members.

Luke’s marker was in a certain spot in the north district, at the location of the assistive team he’d mentioned before. Vyn’s marker was moving rapidly, most likely towards the house of a “special respondent”. And the markers indicating Marius and MC had been at Yaofu Community for a while.

Artem: Yaofu Community?...

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Yaofu Community

In Yaofu Community, Marius and I were prepping to perform the second crime scene reenactment.

MC: (Good thing luck’s on our side. We found a residence with the exact same layout beside Hang Fei and Qi Yu’s.)

As for why Marius and I were doing our second reenactment, it had to do with our discussion at the natural park earlier.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Natural Park

Marius: Awesome. With this video, our investigation can take a huge step forward.

MC: Then how about we take this opportunity to organize our thoughts?

Marius: Sure.

MC: First, starting from Wang Chunchong…

MC: What he was deliberately hiding before was his murder of Simon. And he hid this because…

Marius: Easy. All else aside, Wang Chunchong’s innocent in the Hang Fei and Qi Yu case, at the very least.

Marius: If the police didn’t know that Wang Chunchong had murdered Simon, then when they were investigating Yaofu Community…

Marius: Wang Chunchong could be acquitted.

Marius: But on the flip side, if the police knew that Simon’s case had to do with him, even if the Yaofu Community case ended…

Marius: Wang Chunchong would not be able to walk out of jail.

MC: Yes.

MC: Although after figuring this out, a bunch of new questions come up.

MC: First, why would Wang Chunchong murder Simon?

Marius: Could it have to do with Tyson? The timing of Simon’s murder and the timing of when Wang Chunchong and Tyson started to work together is very close.

Marius: Wait, if that’s the case, then when Wang Chunchong said “Something that only I, Tyson, and a dead person know about”…

MC: It’s probably about the Heirson raw materials!

Marius: Looks like our investigation was a great success this time!

MC: Next, the second question is, who wanted to frame Wang Chunchong with this case?

Marius: Someone who wanted to frame Wang Chunchong must have known about his plan to murder Simon.

Marius: Someone like that… Tyson? Hang Jiahe? Could Xu Yin be a possibility?

MC: No, I don’t think Xu Yin’s a possibility.

MC: She’s only aiming for Wang Chunchong’s shares and spot on the board of directors, so she should be the one who least wants something to happen to him.

Marius: But it doesn’t seem like Tyson has any motive to murder Hang Fei or Qi Yu either…

MC: That being so, Hang Jiahe is really suspicious.

MC: But we need proof to back that up.

MC: Why would Hang Jiahe murder Hang Fei and Qi Yu, and why would she frame Wang Chunchong…

MC: Plus, how did Wang Chunchong’s fingerprints appear on the murder weapon, and how did Hang Fei and Qi Yu’s DNA appear in the suitcases…

MC: We’ve got to figure those out.

Marius: Then how about we do another round of crime scene reenactment? We still have another trail of actions that we haven’t analyzed yet, right?

MC: You mean, how the victims were murdered?

Marius: That’s right. Since the clue that the police have was used by the true murderer to frame Wang Chunchong…

Marius: If we reenact the process of the crime as judged by the police, we’ll sure to find some parts that don’t match up.

Marius: These parts that don’t match up just might help us.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

After, we handed the video to the police. After viewing the video, the police overturned the charges against Wang Chunchong and began investigation anew. Darius thanked us, then reminded us to contact him as early as possible if we found anything else.

MC: The exact course of action inferred by the police before was…

MC: Wang Chunchong brought food laced with G24D and knocked on the door for Room 1001, pretending to want to apologize.

MC: After entering, the three people ate at the bar table. After, Hang Fei and Qi Yu fell unconscious due to the drugs.

MC: He moved the two to the ground, cushioned them with sofa cushions, then struck the victims’ heads multiple times.

Marius: Then let’s reenact things in this order.

Marius: I’ll play Wang Chunchong, you play Hang Fei.

MC: Sure.

Marius walked out the door, holding the bag of food from the table. I set up the camera.

Marius: Let’s start.

MC: Yep.

Marius closed the door.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The doorbell rang.

Hang Fei: Who is it?

Wang Chunchong: Me.

Hang Fei opened the door.

Hang Fei: Ah, it’s Chunchong. Come on in.

Wang Chunchong: …

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Midway, Marius stopped.

MC: What’s the matter? Why aren’t you coming in?

Marius: Uh, jiejie, your acting isn’t quite right.

MC: ???

Marius: Think about it. Considering how many times Wang Chunchong and Hang Fei fought, would Hang Fei treat Wang Chunchong that nicely?

Marius: Would he let Wang Chunchong in that easily?

MC: True, how did I forget about that?

Marius: So, you’ve got to be a little ruder, a little more aggressive.

Marius: Bring on your professional lawyer’s attitude.

MC: Okay.

I nodded solemnly.

Marius: Then, I’ll start again.

MC: Sure.

The door closed again. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The doorbell rang again.

Hang Fei: Who are you?

Wang Chunchong: Me.

Hang Fei: Who are you?

Wang Chunchong: Wang Chunchong.

Hang Fei opened the door.

Hang Fei: Master Wang, what brings you here?

Wang Chunchong: What else? It’s obviously for my marriage with Jiahe.

Hang Fei: Marriage? Now you know to bring up marriage.

Hang Fei: Weren’t you pretty stubborn the past few times? Didn’t you say that I was extorting you of your Wang family’s money?

Hang Fei: Wanna try bringing up marriage now? Too late.

Wang Chunchong: …

Wang Chunchong: You’re right, it’s all my fault. So I came here to apologize.

Wang Chunchong handed his bag to Hang Fei.

Wang Chunchong: This is the signature dish from that restaurant you love. See it as a compensatory gift from me.

Hang Fei: You want to make me give in with just this…?

Hang Fei snatched the bag away.

Hang Fei: Let me make things clear. If you don’t double the betrothal gift, I won’t let my daughter marry you.

Wang Chunchong: I know. I came today to talk about this.

Wang Chunchong: Uncle Hang, you see…

Wang Chunchong scanned the area.

Wang Chunchong: Let’s not talk about the betrothal gift under the eyes of the masses – you know, not letting outsiders in on this.

Wang Chunchong: How about we talk inside?

Hang Fei: … Come in, then.

Hang Fei let Wang Chunchong in and closed the door.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

I let Marius in, then turned around, nearly ramming into him.

MC: Marius, why aren’t you walking in?

Marius: I was thinking, if Wang Chunchong really entered Room 1001 under the apology pretext…

Marius: With his personality while facing someone like Hang Fei, he must have been suppressing his emotions hard that day.

Marius: If that’s the case, Hang Jiahe must be “extremely important” to Wang Chunchong.

MC: But other possibilities exist, like…

Marius and I looked at each other.

MC & Marius: The one who came wasn’t Wang Chunchong at all.

Marius: If the one who came was someone who was more familiar with Hang Fei and Qi Yu, then not only could they avoid the cumbersome entrance process earlier…

MC: Hang Fei and Qi Yu also wouldn’t be resistant to them, and would thus be easier to act against.

Marius: …

MC: …

MC: Marius, let’s continue with our reenactment. Maybe we’ll get more clues.

MC: After, let’s focus on reenacting each person’s actions and not bother with unnecessary dialogue.

Marius: Sure.

Marius took the bag in my hand and walked to the bar table on the side of the room.

Marius: After entering, Wang Chunchong recommended that Hang Fei and Qi Yu try the food he’d brought.

Marius placed the bag on a plate on the bar counter. I sat beside him, pretending to scoop food up.

MC: After eating the food, Hang Fei and Qi Yu rapidly fell unconscious due to G24D.

Marius: Wang Chunchong dragged them onto the ground, and then…

Marius’s empty carrying movements suddenly stopped.

Marius: Something’s wrong.

MC: What?

Marius: There was no need for Wang Chunchong to drag them onto the floor.

MC: Why?

Marius: I’ll show you.

Marius returned to the bar table, chose an empty seat, and made a few gestures to indicate a person bent over, face down.

Marius: If an unconscious Hang Fei were theoretically sitting on this chair…

Marius: After confirming his unconsciousness, I could already make my move.

Marius: Taking one step back, if the murderer theoretically thought that striking the back of the head didn’t guarantee the damage well enough, they would just need to turn the chair around.

Marius: That way, Hang Fei would go from being bent over to laying his head on the table, and the front of his head would be on full display.

Marius: They could’ve made their move then, too.

Marius: The more the movements when committing the crime, the more they’ll probably leave traces.

Marius: So I have no idea why Wang Chunchong would bother moving the victims to the floor.

MC: …

MC: If there’s no subjective reason, could there be an objective reason?

MC: Like, maybe something unexpected happened?

I copied Marius’ actions, trying to act in a way that wouldn’t require me to move the bodies. But when I turned the chair around so that the “bodies”’ heads could face me, I noticed where the issue was.

MC: I know why they had to move the bodies.

Marius: ???

MC: There’s a prerequisite to what you just described – your height.

MC: As you’re tall enough, you can strike the victims while they are on the chairs.

MC: But to me, these chairs and table are somewhat high. If the victims are still sitting on them…

MC: Doing this under these conditions would be extremely uncomfortable, and it would be hard to guarantee my accuracy.

MC: But moving them to the floor would make everything much easier.

Marius: Wang Chunchong’s around my height. Based on this…

MC: That’s right. The murderer shouldn’t be Wang Chunchong – it must be a female of average height or a smaller male.

Marius: Looks like someone’s even more suspicious.

MC: Yes, but let’s go through everything, just in case.

Marius nodded. He walked to an empty area, pretended to take a sofa cushion, then acted out striking motions.

Marius: Wang Chunchong grabbed a hammer at random from the nearby toolbox, murdered Hang Fei and Qi Yu, and then…

Marius: He cleaned up the crime scene and decided to dispose of the corpses.

Marius: Thus, he brought the bodies to his house via fire escape and got two…

MC: Stop.

Marius: What’s the matter?

MC: There were already suitcases in Room 1001 – plus, they were ones used by Hang Fei and Qi Yu.

MC: If they used these two suitcases, even if the police detected the victims’ DNA in them after, they’d deem it as normal.

MC: Why would he expend such effort to move the bodies and use his own suitcases? Isn’t this more likely to leave clues of his actions?

MC: Plus, Wang Chunchong still hasn’t thrown out those two suitcases.

Marius: …

Marius: Wait, didn’t you say before that Hang Fei’s blood was detected in the suitcases in Room 1001?

MC: Yeah, what…

MC: Marius, do you mean that the suitcases used to discard the bodies were actually the ones in room 1001?

Marius nodded.

MC: If so, someone must have placed the victims’ DNA in Wang Chunchong’s suitcase deliberately…

MC: When would it have been?

MC: Also, if our guess about the suitcases is true, the whole crime must have happened in Room 1001.

Marius: Looks like we’ve got to return to the crime scene.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Kismet {9}

Henry Cavill x Famous OFC Aliya Taylor

Warning: Slow Burn, Mild Cursing, Dialogue Heavy, POV Changes

Words: 3.5k

Summary: Aliya is a singer turned model turned actress. Since she was fifteen, she’s been creating her empire in the entertainment world. As the daughter of a famous fashion model/designer and Hollywood director, you’d think life is easy for her, but her past has been anything but easy. Due to past trauma, she’s forever changed and no longer trusts any man that is not in her family and a select few in her team. She’s sworn off love and serious relationships and has planned never to fall again, but love isn’t something that can be planned. It just happens when it’s meant to. Can Aliya outrun a love that seems hellbent on holding tight to her, a love that is Kismet?

If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!! 😘  

As always, thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 

The change within you was instantaneous, and your body fought it like a foreign virus. You’d barely slept a wink the night before. You tossed. You rolled. You took up your phone and hovered over Henry’s contact only to put it back down and toss and turn some more. Half of you wanted to talk to him so badly, but the other half wanted you to practice some restraint. There was no happy middle ground, and because there wasn’t, you struggled to find any peace in your mind. By the time you managed to fall asleep, it was one hour before you had to get up to prep for your day. When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was a message from the culprit to your sleeplessness himself.

 MSG Henry: Good morning, beautiful. I didn’t sleep a wink. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I must have picked up my phone ten times to text or call you. It’s torture not being able to hear the one voice you want to hear more than anything.

 As soon as you read the words, your heart literally melted, and butterflies filled your belly.

 “Christ almighty,” you whispered as your fingers itched to rapid-fire. Before you could catch yourself, you’d already typed out a reply and sent it.

 MSG: Good Morning to you too, handsome. I know what you mean. I didn’t sleep either. I almost called you so many times. I think you’re addicting.

 You reread the message then groaned at the last sentence.

 “Really, Aliya, addicting?” You rolled your eyes hard and pushed to get yourself ready for the day.

 By the time you’d left the hotel, he still hadn’t replied, and you regretted responding altogether.  So, here you were sitting in one of your four meetings for the day trying to keep your head in the game and your mind off of Henry’s lips, or his eyes, or the feel of his muscular arms around you. It was proving more complicated than it sounded. When you weren’t thinking of his lips, or his eyes, or his arms and kisses, you were overthinking your message and his lack of response.

 A little more than halfway in your first meeting, your phone went off, and you had to make yourself slow down and not leap for it. Nonchalantly, you glanced at the screen and saw Henry’s name.

 MSG Henry: Addicting, huh? I like that, but you should not be talking. I have been addicted to you since the day you bumped into me.

 Any worries you’d had the last few hours melted away, and a smile spread across your face.

 MSG: Do tell me more, Mr. Cavill.

 Barely a minute passed before another message came in.

 MSG Henry: I would rather tell you while looking in your eyes so you can see the depth of which I mean them in my eyes.

 You bit your bottom lip and closed your eyes. He was different alright, you thought.

 MSG Henry: I’m sorry it took me this long to reply. I’m trying to finish up all business between today and tomorrow. I had to hide my phone from myself, or else I would have been messaging you this entire time.

 You couldn’t lie. That felt good to know that he was having as much of a struggle going about his typical day to day tasks as you were. The knowledge of that comforted you, but it also worried you. This thing was still so new. For the duration of your meeting, you texted on and off. It continued as you moved to your second and third meetings, and by then, your focus was shot. The only thing you cared about was what he was saying.

 You loved how open he was. He always found a way to describe to you just what he was thinking or feeling while still remaining mysterious enough to have you wondering what he felt and thought. It was interesting. You’d always been able to predict every man that tried to enter your life. You could predict their motives, what tactics they’d use to try to weasel themselves in, and you often could predict how things would end. With Henry, you’d been having a difficult time with those predictions. It bothered you.

 By the time you got back to your hotel room, it was nearing seven o’clock. You wasted no time putting your phone on silent to concentrate on a little self-care beginning with a soak in the jetted tub. You did your best to keep your mind open to allow the meditation track you played to really work at loosening the knots in your shoulders and tension in your neck. The stress of your life, mainly from work, was really beginning to show. It had always shown, you just never listened to your body whenever it told you to slow down or take it easy.

 Many of your friends and family teased you that you lived to work instead of working to live. There were times you were inclined to agree with them because you didn’t need to work so much to maintain the lifestyle you were accustomed to. You had more money than you knew what to do with. You could afford to take time off to recharge but, you’d lived with the belief that the less time you had to be idle, the better it was for your mental and emotional health. Idle hands, after all, were the devil’s playground. You’d grown so accustomed to working nonstop that you didn’t know how to just do nothing.  

After almost two hours in the bath, as you walked into the bedroom, you saw your phone light up. It was an incoming call from Henry. Sighing, you plopped onto the bed, trying to fight back the smile that wanted freedom. The smile won the battle.

 “Hello?”

 “Did I wake you? I called earlier but--.”

 “No, I’m awake. I put my phone on silent and took a long bath,” you clarified.

 “Ah, that sounds relaxing. Maybe I should try that. I’m feeling this burnout more and more.”

 “Those who are serious about their craft work too much.”

 Henry sighed softly, and you wondered if there was a hint of mint and Guinness on his lips.

 “I don’t want to work tonight,” Henry declared. “Tonight, I want to be with you.”

 You dropped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Oh, do you now?”

 “Yes,” Henry confirmed, his voice dropping in baritone. Your belly fluttered, making you press your palm against it.

 “Have you eaten?”

 “I haven’t,” you breathlessly replied.

 “Good. I’ll be around for you in forty-five minutes.”

 You sprang upward. “That’s not enough time.”

 “Oh no? High maintenance are you?”

 You snorted and shook your head, hearing the tease and challenge in his voice.

 “Forty-five minutes then, just don’t get mad when I don’t look like pictures in magazines,” you quipped.

 “Come as you are.”

 Your reflection caught your eye. Because you’d gotten your hair slightly wet in the tub, it was now in a half natural half blown out state, making you look crazy. You doubted forty-five would be enough to tame it.

 “See you soon,” you said before hanging up to focus on getting yourself together.

 Forty-nine minutes later, you were dressed and on your way down in the elevator. As it made its way down, you assessed your appearance, thankful you were able to straighten your hair again to add a few loose curls. Part of you hadn’t wanted to bother, but you knew the dress you were going to wear would be better complemented with a sleek look. Your eyes skimmed the half sheer and half bodycon black dress you wore, loving that it was the right mix between sexy and classic. You added another layer of your mauve tinted lip gloss and just in time for the doors to open.

 It didn’t take long for you to spot him sitting in the lobby where one of the big-screen TVs were placed. He was watching a rugby match. You crossed the black and white designed tiled floors and approached behind him. When you dipped to his ear, his scent almost had a moan escaping you—almost.

 “Either, no matter where you are, you gravitate to rugby, or I took too long,” you whispered.

Henry turned, and the moment his eyes landed on you, a dumbfounded look washed across his face. You tried not to bashfully look away as you watched his jaw drop when his eyes took in the full view.

 “Wow.”

 A giggle that would have been nauseating from someone else slipped from you, making you press your fingertips to your lips.

 “You’re breathtaking.”

 You smiled, then gently tapped his chest.

 “Stop.”

 “I’m being completely truthful.”

 Those damn butterflies made their presence known once again.

 “Thank you,” you whispered.

 Henry held out a single peony to you. “For you.”

 As you took it, your smile widened. “Wow, one of my favorite flowers.”

 “Is that so?”

 You nodded.

 “Hmm, happy coincidence,” Henry replied as he stood and buttoned his suit jacket. Once done, he held out his arm for you. “Shall we?”

 You nodded and looped yours with his, ready for whatever the night brought on.

  -Henry-

As you sat across from him under the hanging flowers and dim lighting of the restaurant perusing the menu, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. It could have been the way the golden light bathed your skin, giving it an almost glowing aura. Or it could have been the soft smile pasted to your subtle painted lips. It could have even been the spell of the restaurant, the classical music playing, and the sweet scent of flowers that surrounded the two of you. Whatever it was, he itched to touch you, itched to get closer, and itched to do nothing but find a way to keep a smile on your face.

 “What?”

 Realizing you were now looking at him, he smiled back at you.

 “Nothing.”

 “No, no. That’s a something look,” you said, still not able to not smile.

 “It’s nothing,” he repeated.

 “Henry, seriously. What is it?”

 You reached out and gently slapped his hand, then rested it on top of the table.

 “Nothing, really. It’s just—I can’t seem to keep my eyes off of you,” he admitted.

 Your smile slipped, revealing a serious expression for a few seconds before you smiled again and dipped your head in a bashful way. Unable to keep his hands to himself any longer, he closed the gap between your hands and took yours.

 “Your parents must be proud to have raised such a charming son.”

 He smiled, then shrugged. “She has five of them.”

 “Bless her heart,” you added, making him chuckle.

 A comfortable silence drifted between you as he enjoyed the softness of your hand in his and the way your warmth mingled with his. He could get used to this, he thought to himself. When the waiter returned to the table to pour the chosen wine into your glasses, you pulled your hand away, but he didn’t take offense.

 “So, by this time next week, I will be off the grid,” he said after the waiter walked off again.

 A quizzical look swept across your face.

 “Off the grid? Are you a spy?”

 He smiled. “I promise I’m not.”

 Another waiter approached the table, this time carrying your selected third and final courses. He thanked the waiter as he laid the plates before you before he retreated.

 “You were saying,” you prompted, lifting your dinner fork from the selection of three different ones to your right.

 “I’ve earned some much needed R&R.”

 With your fork paused at your lips, you smiled. “Oh, that’s great. Congratulations. When was the last time you took a holiday?”

 He watched you chew and quickly got lost watching your mouth. It took him several seconds to regain his train of thought.

 “Eh-em, uh—perhaps a year and a half, if we are talking about a true holiday.”

 “Wow, that’s a long time.”

 “What about you?”

 You smirked, then scoffed. “Define holiday.”

 He returned your smirk then rested his knife and fork atop the braised beef on his plate before he replied. “Time off, no work, nothing that you have to worry about that can cause stress,  anxiety, or tension. Oh, and of course, sleeping late, drinking until three or four in the morning, fun every day, and feeling refreshed upon return.”

 You smiled as you finished chewing. He watched you take another sip from your glass and knew the wine was only making your lips even sweeter than they already were.

 “Ha! Jeez, when you define it like that, it’s been years upon years,” you replied.

 “Not good at all.”

 You nodded. “Tell me about it.” A soft smile was still on your lips as you placed another forkful of the pan-seared sea bass you were eating.

 With those words, a thought formulated in his mind, and it was a thought he wondered if he put words to would you be receptive. The remainder of dinner passed comfortably. Another reason why he couldn’t stop thinking about you and enjoyed being around you was because your conversation was always excellent. There was never any form of discomfort or awkwardness between you. You easily talked about so many things, and the things you said were always thought-provoking and intelligent. While everyone thought you were just a pretty face, you’d repeatedly allowed him to see that the world knew nothing.

 His hand was rarely without yours in it, and when he held your hand, you softly raked your fingernails against the palm and fingers. Every time you did it, the goosebumps that raced across his skin sparked a reaction that was visible much, much lower than his hand. Everyone else in the restaurant could have disappeared for all he knew because you’d captivated him and every single one of his senses.

 By the time you left the restaurant, it was close to midnight, but you didn’t seem to care what time it was. You held onto his hand as you walked along The River Thames. He often did this late at night when he couldn’t sleep. It was really the only time he could come and not be bothered or recognized because he was more than likely the only one there. Tonight your laughter danced through the air, and the gentle ebb and flow of the water only helped the glistening light from the bridge and neighboring buildings shimmer that much more. It was quite romantic.

You stopped and pressed your back to the iron gating that kept pedestrians out of the river. You stretched your arms out, leaning back as if to really enjoy the gentle breeze.

 “It’s a beautiful night,” you sighed out.

 Just like that, he drifted closer to you until there were only a few inches between your bodies. When you came upright again, your smile was still bright, even realizing he was so close.

 “Are you trying to push me in?”

 He smiled and shook his head. “Never.”

 “Oh no?”

 “No,” he repeated, taking another step to you.

 You bit your bottom lip then sucked it into your mouth, and he became even more painfully aware that he hadn’t sampled them since the night before.

 “Unacceptable,” he whispered.

 “What?”

 Reaching out, he cupped your jaw and slid his thumb across your cheekbone while he slowly traced every inch of your face to his memory. When his eyes met yours, he fell another foot or two deep into the quicksand-like pit of his growing feelings for you. He was so close to going under it was alarming.

 “It’s unacceptable that I haven’t tasted your lips in over twelve hours.”

 He heard a soft gasp escape your lips, and it was the only sound you made before his lips pressed to yours. The only move you made was to entangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. The feel of your fingers against his skin brought those familiar goosebumps. He moaned, then pulled you flush against him. The feel of your body against his made his heart thump rapidly, and when you moaned against his lips, the need to consume you took precedence.

 When he delved his tongue into your mouth, he was shocked when you swirled yours around his, and the sensual move had him pressing you firmly against the iron behind you. It was out of character for him to do this so wide in the open, but he felt himself doing things that no one would ever guess he would do when he was with you. Your soft nibbled on his bottom lip brought his mind back to the rising dilemma, rising being the operative word.

 Pulling his lips from yours, he rested his forehead to yours. Both of you didn’t speak; instead, you were both lost in trying to catch your breath. Long moments passed, and in those moments, he fought to regain his composure. He’d never reacted to anyone the way he reacted to you.

 “Come with me,” he whispered, his voice shakier than he’d expected.

 Your eyes fluttered open, and he didn’t know if it was wishful thinking, but he swore he saw actual stars in them that put the night sky to shame.

 “Where?”

 “Away on holiday.”

 You pulled back a few centimeters and gazed into his eyes more intently. He watched them dart from his left eye, then to the right and back again. Slowly the stars vanished, and humor replaced them.

 “Good one,” you said before you laughed out loud, pulling your body from his.

 “Oh my god, you really had me going for a second,” you said through laughter.

 You took two steps as if to continue walking, but he laced his fingers with yours and pulled you back before him. You gasped, and the sound of it made him close the space between you again, pressing you onto the iron bars. With his body pressed to yours leaving no evidence of there being two bodies, you moaned, and the sound almost had him capturing your lips again. If he did though, he didn’t know if his hands would remain respectful.

 “I wasn’t kidding.”

 Your eyes were on his lips, and the desire for you to take control, almost overrode his desire to be in control—almost.

 “What?”

 “Come on holiday with me, just the two of us, a beach wine somewhere—anywhere.”

 He saw the moment you realized he was as serious as a heart attack.

 “You’re serious,” you reiterated.

 “More serious than I’ve been about anything.”

 You didn’t speak for the next minute, but you also didn’t move away. He decided he’d give you the time to consider it.

 You scoffed before you spoke. “What? Henry—we can’t.”

 “Why?”

 You gaped at him as if he were insane.

 “Why?” That was when you pulled away from him and took a few steps sideways while still leaning against the gate. “We—we don’t--.”

 You looked as if you were wracking your brain for a response, but you also looked like you were trying to catch your breath.

 “We don’t know anything about each other.”

 He took a step to you. You didn’t move.

 “Which is why a private holiday would aid in us getting to know each other—uninterrupted without the pretexts,” he replied.

 Your eyes widened before you shook your head then turned to face the water. You peered out silently, baffled. “Henry—we can’t.”

 He approached you, and as he leaned against the gate, you looked at him. “Tell me why,” he requested.

 “Why—because—I—I don’t do—that,” you stuttered.

 “What holidays?”

 He saw the exasperation wash across your face before it went blank. You stepped away again, then cleared your throat.

 “I have an early flight out tomorrow.”

 It was hard not to feel the rejection, but he hid it the best he could. Nodding, he held out his arm for you to take.

 “Then let’s get you back to your hotel.”

 The entire ten-minute walk, his mind went from one thing to the next. He worried he’d come on too strong, or that he’d said the wrong thing, or somehow offended you. Then he went back and forth with his decision to even ask you. Part of him felt like maybe he was jumping a little too far ahead, but the other part of him felt there was nothing wrong with inviting you especially based on how things had gone the entire night and the vibes he picked up. That made him wonder if he’d read the evening entirely wrong.

 When he stopped with you in your hotel's lobby, he was in no hurry to ask you again. He’d begun to feel quite stupid. His hurt feelings needed the night to recover. He took your arm from the crook of his elbow and held your hand. Again, you didn’t pull away. Deciding he couldn't afford to give you the time to, he lowered your hand and stepped away from you.

 “Thank you for dinner.”

 “T—thank you,” you said barely above a whisper.

 He nodded and debated his next move. He took a timid step forward and kissed your cheek.

 “Have a safe flight.”

 “Thank you.”

 This one was a whisper.

 “Good night, Aliya,” he breathed out before he quickly kissed your forehead then walked away out the door and down the street without looking back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[bullshittierlists]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA V3 (and probably the other games, too, just to be safe)

So, just as a heads up, I made this list a few months ago, I think in the middle of chapter 4. I was going to update it, but I realized that any feelings I had were just made stronger and the list was still relatively accurate. Here are my thoughts:

I see no god up here other than me

Kirumi Tojo - As you may know about me, I can typically tell who my favorite characters are going to be before I indulge myself in a series. This has especially rung true throughout Danganronpa, I was able to correctly guess Taka and Gundham as my respective favorites before actually seeing them in action. Let me tell you that Kirumi surprised me. I originally guessed K1-B0 as my favorite and while he’s still up there, he is nowhere near Kirumi. I realized she was my favorite the moment chapter 2 ended. Not only were her execution and plan wonderful and brilliantly done, her last-ditch plea to convince everyone to let her live sold her for me. Not only did this plea make sense, it almost worked and I kinda wish it would’ve. Her motive was almost completely selfless and she worked damn hard to escape. Her execution was the only time I cried during this game because I wanted so badly for her to escape, but I knew that all of her efforts were futile. I know her biggest criticism is that her plan from hiding Ryoma’s body was completely unnecessary, but I like to believe she was just nervous and overthought the whole thing. I mean, this had to go perfectly in order for her to save her country, of course she’s going to add a few too many steps.

Miu Iruma - Okay, I know this is going to sound fake, but I actually really love the dichotomy of her character. The way that she acts so self-righteous but is actually quite self-conscious really stood out to me. Of course she’s funny and hot, too, but I feel it’s important to really appreciate the way her character was written. It amazes me that she was written to be the least likable character in the entire series and still ended up being one of my favorites.

You’re the best

K1-B0 - Yes, I type out his name every time. As I already mentioned, he was my original guess for favorite character, but it obviously didn’t work out that way. He stayed in his position of first for a while, but I always knew it wasn’t meant to last, I just didn’t know which character would take his place. Even besides my doubts, I still love K1-B0, I just wish more could’ve been done with him in the earlier chapters. There are several opportunities for him to be a really funny character and have good interactions with Kokichi and Miu, but he just comes off as annoying. I feel like he only really started to be utilized after Miu died with Monotaro and I really enjoyed their dynamic, I just wish we could’ve had some of this side of K1-B0 before this point.

Kokichi Oma - This spot probably isn’t as subjective as I’d like it to be. Every time Kokichi was on screen, I would get visibly annoyed, but I knew I was in for a treat figuring out his deeper intents behind what he’s saying. The only reason I really like Kokichi at all is because he’s fun to analyze. It gets boring to analyze Nagito because his motivation is pretty much just a mix of “hope” and “he’s crazy.” Kokichi’s character trait of lying makes it so fun to individually analyze each of his lines to figure out whether he’s telling the truth and why or why not. Other than that, I guess he has some funny dialogue with Miu sometimes.

Gonta Gokuhara - I really don’t know. I know this is way too early to be unsure about characters, but I just know I couldn’t put him any lower, but I also couldn’t put him any higher. He’s just such a sweetheart, but that’s about where the substance ends. I adored every time he was on my screen, but everything that would’ve been fun to analyze about him just leads back to Kokichi. I still really enjoy his presence, though. I’d like a big Gonta hug.

Kaede Akamatsu - I’ll just say it, I think she would’ve made for a better protagonist. I’ll talk about this later, but Shuichi’s character development doesn’t really feel like it goes anywhere and the twist doesn’t feel worth it because of that. I think the twist should still have been incorporated, but with the roles reversed. Either way, we got what we got, and what we got was tears from Clair de Lune. But seriously, she really is a great pianist. I’ve been trying to learn the piece for ages and it’s still too complicated for me. I mean, it’s in 9/8 for God’s sake. Good for her, regardless.

Tenko Chabashira - Tenko’s a weird case. I didn’t actually care for her that much until quite literally a few lines before she died. Fun fact: I spoiled this entire series for myself before I ended up playing it and I’m still mad at myself. This meant that I was just waiting for all of the deaths to happen, especially Tenko’s. I was fully aware that every line could be her last during the seance, but I wasn’t aware that she would pull on my heart strings before she went. When she tells Himiko that she’ll do the seance in her place so she can talk to Angie, I literally almost started crying. Before this, Tenko was just kind of annoying, but not too bad, but this moment really solidified her spot for me. She really just wanted to help Himiko and I wish she had chosen a better target for her affections.

Hey, I think you’re pretty cool, I like you a lot

Shuichi Saihara - Time to elaborate on what I said for Kaede. I actually really enjoyed Shuichi’s character development throughout the first three chapters. Before coming to Hope’s Peak, he was afraid to hurt people with his detective skills. Kaede notices this and helps him through it, passing the reins to Kaito once she passes. Shuichi convicts Kaede and later Kirumi, much to everyone’s detriment, but they’re all okay with it (Nobody was really super sad about Korekiyo to begin with, lol). Then, starting in chapter 4, everyone just kinda flips on him. Shuichi + the rest of the gang - Kokichi all believe that Gonta is innocent and Shuichi tries to prove this. Instead of supporting him, everyone (especially Kaito) tries to... stop him??? from proving it??? They’re all just in agreement that it wasn’t Gonta, but don’t want to proceed with the investigation to figure out who it was instead. It’s really frustrating and made my overall experience much less enjoyable. This is bumped up a few notches in chapter 5 with Maki. I understand that she was part of the whole case, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying that she won’t let me prove Kaito was the victim. It just feels like the character development was all for nothing and every student feels like a human obstacle (except K1-B0, of course). Still relatable and emo, though.

Rantaro Amami - I would make the joke everyone expects, but I’m on my laptop and I don’t know how to get to the emoji keyboard.

Ryoma Hoshi - I genuinely don’t have anything to say about Ryoma. He’s my halfway point because I don’t have anything particularly for him and I don’t have anything particularly against him, either. Go off, funky little cat man.

Kaito Momota - He got on my nerves in chapter 4, but he was a genuinely sweet character that I really enjoyed talking to. Any time he would talk about the stars, I would swoon because he’s just such a natural romantic. Not really my type, though. Very average.

Monophanie - Legally you can’t ask me why the monokubs are where they are. She’s voiced by Natalie Hoover (Sonia) and I guess that’s my only reasoning.

Monotaro - I really just liked his interactions with K1-B0 in chapter 4. Other than that, I greatly disliked his and Monophanie’s presence in Gonta’s execution. 0/10 worst use for monokubs.

Monodam - A nice, non-distracting addition to Korekiyo’s execution. But he had so much potential and just threw it all away. Apparently I’m a basketball dad from a high school movie now.

I remember you

Angie Yonaga - Many times, I’ve found myself asking who I ship from the series and this love triangle comes to mind. Of Angie, Himiko, and Tenko... I only really like Tenko. I don’t hate Angie’s cult stuff as much as everyone else seems to, but she didn’t have nearly enough of a presence for me to latch onto outside of the cult stuff, which was funny, I will admit.

Maki Harukawa - I was so excited the whole game for her to get cool. I knew she was going to get cool, I just didn’t know when or how. But then, it was chapter 5 already and she hadn’t gotten cool in my eyes yet. I was really meh on her by that chapter anyway, but her being annoying really knocked her down a few pegs. She got a couple extra points for surprising me during the case, but not enough to bump her up any spots.

Himiko Yumeno - I was rooting for her to be crushed under the rock at the end. She was fine before chapter 3, but then they tried to develop her with the Akane treatment and it didn’t work for me at all. She just got on my nerves during the third trial and continued to contribute nothing throughout the rest of the game. During chapter 5 and 6, it’s like the writers just completely forgot that she was there. This would’ve been fine if they weren’t the last couple of chapters and she was one of about 6 people left alive. She had a role to play and didn’t play it in the slightest. The most she was utilized after chapter 3 was as Miu’s replacement post-chapter 5. Someone needed to fill the dirty jokes quota and I guess Himiko was chosen. #GiveTenkoABetterLoveInterest2021

Monosuke - The only thing I remember him doing throughout the entire game was distract me from Kirumi’s exectuion. Not a fan.

You are the worst. Literal scum. Leave this planet and never return

Korekiyo Shinguji - Okay, listen. He’s not that bad. His design is actually one of the best, in my opinion and I love his dedication to his craft. However, he just creeps me out whenever he’s on screen and I’d prefer not to be around him. It’s not even the sister thing, I honestly think that’s funny and a nice change of pace, but his overall demeanor is creepy. Not to mention he’s played by Todd Haberkorn and he’s been in one too many roles recently. Hopefully I’ll get over it, but as for now, that loses him points.

Tsumugi Shirogane - I know, not exactly an unpopular opinion. She’s just annoying and downright pisses me off a lot of the time with her “plain” shtick. I already knew she was going to be the mastermind, so most of the game was just me waiting for her to reveal it. I swear, I almost couldn’t take it every time she said something like, “What if there isn’t a mastermind?” “What?? There’s a mastermind????” Just stfu Tsumugi. You all are lucky I don’t have the energy to talk about 3-6 right now.

Monokid - Hate the tongue sprite, that’s literally the only reason he’s down here. He’s also kind of annoying, but made the best addition to an execution out of all of the monokubs. His death was one of the few things that surprised me in this game and it was a welcome twist. I was sick of him by this point, but was still incredibly shocked when he was pushed into the execution. Then, his severed head rolls out to all of the students looking on in shock at Kaede’s death. Masterful. Still hate the tongue sprite.

There we go. Definitely my least favorite cast out of the whole series, but it’s still fun to love on and hate on a lot of the characters, as per usual. There are just a few too many in the middle tier (metaphorically speaking) that are either uninteresting or just don’t get their time to shine. Maybe they’ll eventually grow on me more, but I doubt it.

[the-moon-prince]

The Last Of us~Kurapika x Reader ~Chapter II

AN: Hi my lovely fellows!

I offer you the second chapter of my story! This time I made sure to be more careful with the edition!

I wish you a pleasant read, and I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter of my story. (Third coming soon!) (Chapter I)

Paring: Kurapika Kurta x GN! Reader

Word count: 2 655

TW: None!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kurapika''- then they looked up to him-"I know I'm putting my life on the line. Yet, what I'm about to do is an act of desperation wholly motivated by my concluding. Are you... are you somehow related to the scarlet eyes?" their eyes still avoiding his, with a serious and plain expression on their face. It was sure they weren't joking. Kurapika immediately tensed up and put himself on guard. "I'm sheepish to inquire like this in your private life. But I have my reasons to suppose you are, if you say yes to me, I will believe you. If not, please let me know and we can pretend this dialogue never happened." Kurapika was naturally full of inquiries about this whole story. But continuing with this conversation could lead him to information. Even solve his doubts about (Y/n), that character who puzzled him so greatly. "I am," he answered after some seconds of reflection. (Y/n) nodded in agreement to him and kept stuttering "I have a... I have an offer for a pair of scarlet eyes."- the tone of their voice was worried, and still (Y/n) remained serious. At that moment, they were convinced of being on the right path.-"Please, don't misunderstand me. I am not a flesh collector. I am convinced that these kinds of people are the most repugnant vermin. And I despise them"- These last two sentences were said with particular disgust on (Y/n)'s voice-"I'm certain you're questioning yourself <<Why are they communicating this to me? How do they have this sort of knowledge?>> I-I beg you... let me explain myself. Even if I'm not a flesh collector, I'm after precise body parts and I seek to reclaim them. As a Doctor, It's quite easy to persuade dealers about my supposed appreciation for that kind of item. Furthermore, I'm telling you this because I want to be... believe the scarlet eyes are going to be in a better place with... with you than on a display rack. Seeing body parts being treated like mere dirty material articles... just objects someone can just appropriate... just possess gives rise to my sadness and fury.- as they spoke, (Y/n)'s voice trembled and stuttered and their hands tightened into fists. Even if their face stayed stoic, their voice and hands reflected all the anguish felt. Letting out a heavy suspire- If you're angry and distrust me, I concede. These are delicate subjects and I apologize for my sudden harshness, but I was obligated to clear my uncertainties. It was a part that, for my integrity and morals, I could not ignore. I am deeply grateful to you for letting me telling you this." (Y/n) finally finished and looked down their feet again. Waiting for some kind of response, and feeling ready to endure any kind of repercussion their early action could lead them to. Kurapika knew the person in front of him had not just nothing to win doing this, but they could also get murdered. Not solely by him. Plus, he recognized the sense of anger towards the flesh collectors. Only getting his suspicions bigger. "Your explanation seems coherent. I will believe you. Further, the information highly interests me. I'll collaborate with you."  The voice tone in Kurapika was not an angry one, despite what (Y/n) had anticipated. Rather a gentle feel flooded Kurapika's soul, feeling less alone in the cause he devoted his life. 

In return (Y/n) offered Kurapika their usual tender smile and looked up at him again. With the difference that in their eyes they had a look of closeness and muttered a "Thank you" to follow the conversation- "I have the details of the transaction, but I would prefer to deliver them to you in a more secure area. I invite you for tea if you accept." 

~

A proposition to which Kurapika agreed. To anew prove their reliability, (Y/n) offered to drive Kurapika to their address, a delicate move as that sort of information was notably frail and placed (Y/n) in a state of vulnerability. (Y/n)'s residence was just a small home with limited decoration. On their salon, beside the basic furniture thus consisted of a canapé, two individual loveseats, a carpet and a coffee counter in the center; the only remarkable things in all the place were a fairly small grand piano -second hand probably- and an exhibit shelf with tiny animal figurines in different situations: like two wolves and a cat drinking tea, or a crowd of distinct critters dancing. "A quite childish set to exhibit" was the thought Kurapika had. (Y/n) brew some tea and placed some biscuits on the coffee table. "To gain the scarlet eyes, the merchant convoked me this Thursday at 9:15 p.m. on a private store in the edge of the town. I have to present personally with my hunter license to confirm my identity, also the granted price for the pair of scarlet eyes would be 2 million Jennys. I'm more than willing to pay the fee." (Y/n) affirmed while taking a sip of tea. "As I suppose, you're familiar with the security protocol to access black market stores. What kind of strategy have you in mind if something turns out wrong? Those buying are always dangerous."-Kurapika questioned inclining in front, resting his elbows on his knees. Logically, (Y/n) had a plan conceived for these circumstances. -"In these situations, I take an offensive position. Regarding my nen, I'm a specialist. I'm able to conjure two ribbons, each one with different properties. The first one "Misericordiae'' has enhancement effects and is meant to protect. It concentrates great quantities of aura and grants the band high strength and healing skills. The other ribbon "Divina Poena '' has transmutation traits, it obtains the ability and sharpness of a metallic blade and is aimed to punish. Although, to obtain my I made vows and have several limitations. I can't kill with "Misericordiae", and exclusively use "Divina Poena" against people who have committed atrocities. Plus on my actual form, I can't use both simultaneously. My plan consists of physically containing the opponent with "Misericordiae '' and knock them down, to subsequently use it to shield us and escape. In extreme cases, it could kill them, although I fancy avoiding it."- (Y/n) rigorously explained. It was obvious they previously initiated contact with flesh sellers, and their cleverness was confirmed once more by Kurapika. 

"The plan is plausible and efficient. With that already determined, I will accompany you in the transaction and present myself as your bodyguard."- with that proclamation the project was complete and ready to be performed. (Y/n) provided Kurapika with a folder full of documents informing about the seller and the location. The seller ended up being a notable collector and dealer of singular and luxurious objects in the underworld. They both accorded to meet outside a coffee shop Thursday at 8:30 p.m., and (Y/n) will transport them to the establishment.

~

The said day finally arrived. the plan was thus executed. (Y/n) was very punctual when picking up Kurapika, dressed in their usual good taste, always with some variety of embroidery herbaceous detail. It was not difficult to believe that he was a wealthy fan of human members. Kurapika sat next to (Y/n) in the passenger seat. For most of the trip, no word was said. They were both troubled. Just one exception; before getting out of the car, (Y/n) smiled at Kurapika and said as an encouragement "We are going to procure the scarlet eyes!". Even if their expression seemed the same, the contrast was subtle, and Kurapika recognizes the support in their action. Once through security, they both reached a vast room full of cristal showcases. These exhibiting an enormous amount of costly merchandise. The salesman was waiting for them, and they politely presented each other and engaged in a little courtesy prattle.

 Once (Y / n) confirmed their identity with their hunter license, the man led them to a private room, which he locked, to present the product. The man showed them the scarlet eyes, which were real, proving that it was not a scam. Kurapika and (Y/n) did their best to maintain the facade they came with. To conclude with that all (Y/n) pulled the money cash out of their bag and presented it to the seller. 

"Oh, no no no, child, 2 million Jennys was the first offer I gave you. But now you seem so firm to buy the scarlet eyes I raise the price to 4 million Jennys. They are very precious and rare, you know?"-the man took on a condescending tone, clearly taking advantage of the situation to play dirty. Kurapika couldn't help but feel his blood boil like lava. He was so tired of treating scumbags who treated the Kurta clan like lower living beings. He wasn't alone in this anger. "Misericordiae!" was the thing both men heard before (Y/n) conjured their nen. A white ribbon enveloped the hunter's left hand like jewelry. The ribbon gripped the seller's limbs, torso, and head, lifting him using the roof rafters as pulleys. The ribbons were tightening their grip as the man's face turned into a scared expression, and (Y/n) stopped smiling to return to a solemn expression. At the same time, Kurapika took an attacking position, ready to battle if required. "Do not try to fool us. We tried to do everything pacifically, and yet your actions are unfair. I have more than sufficient reasons to end someone who obtains a profit with human misery. So, you're going to give us the eyes, and we will calmly leave, without anyone getting injured." (Y/n) calmly replied, despite their irritation. 

"Fine, I'll accept the two million! Let me down now." the disgusting man tried to persuade, but (Y/n) wasn't satisfied with the answer "No. You broke the arrangement. You can't go backward now." (Y/n) firmly declared to directly give the pair of scarlet eyes to Kurapika and head to the door, finally realizing the man before getting out of the room. They proceeded to quickly exit the establishment. Already out, (Y/n) dissipated their nen, cleaned the tiny flow of blood that came out of their mouth, and both got inside the car.

~

After the obnoxious experience and once in the car (Y/n) angrily grunted, not leaving their annoyed plain appearance and driven to return into Yorknew. The car stayed silent for a moment, giving each of the passengers' space and calm to dissipate their tension. In the end, despite the trick the man wanted to impose on them, Kurapika retrieved the eyes. Both feeling a bit better (Y/n) mumbled, still bitter "How awful. I despise these kinds of personages, just hideous rubbish. They're as stupid as a broomstick!"- Kurapika couldn't help but let out a tiny chuckle in front of the original expression. (Y/n) turned to see Kurapika, making a small squeak of surprise- "Why are you laughing?" 

The uncommissioned of the person next to him only caused Kurapika more amusement. "Your expression is quite unique!" the blonde man replied. (Y/n) in what appears to be a sudden blow of consciousness also laughed. To playfully add with their smile back "I might have mistranslated my expression. "Why is a broomstick stupid tho? What's the reasoning?" -Kurapika joked again.

"Well, consider it. A broomstick is useless without the brush. It doesn't do anything relevant. Plus the brush doesn't need a stick; the small hand brooms are the evidence. No one needs the broomstick!"

"I suppose you're right."-Kurapika smiled at the silly (Y/n) gave him.

"May I propose you some tea?" (Y/n) continued, to which Kurapika gladly agreed. He was in a nice mood after all. A nice mood in a long time.

~

That was the second time, of many, Kurapika went to (Y/n)'s home. The tea was served along with some sweets on the coffee table in the sitting room. Each one sat in front of the other. At some point, Kurapika interrogated "How did you know I held some connection to the scarlet eyes?".

(Y/n) Slowly shrugged and looked away. "I saw you during Neon's discourse about her collection."- they answered with their tiny smile - "I recognize that expression and feeling of frustration and sorrow. The sentiment is familiar to... to me as well...".

At that moment, Kurapika decided to execute a move that would dissipate his suspicions about (Y/n). "Thank you for your service. You proved yourself as someone reliably, (Y/n). I consider you deserving of an account and promise the scarlet eyes are in good hands."-(Y/n) swiftly looked up to him-  "I'm a survivor of the massacre of the Kurta. The eyes belong to the members of my clan. My people's eyes turn red whenever we feel intense emotions. My confreres were slaughtered and had their eyes stolen."-anger and pain were present in each of his words-"  I seek to retrieve the scarlet eyes from the sickening scum who rob them and carry out my revenge on the ones who brutally destroyed my clan. They were innocent... they didn't deserve to be annihilated."-Kurapika's voice quivered as his companion stayed quiet, hearing carefully.-"The Spiders killed... unjustly my people. I pretend to make them pay. Additionally, I discerned, despite your vigilance, you are highly protective of your eyes." Kurapika finally voiced. (Y/n) slowly got up and sat next to him. "Kurapika... Although, indeed, my eyes are also capable to change; I am not a Kurta. I'm profoundly remorseful if I gave you that hypothesis."-their tone was sad -"Yet I'm also really alike; my people got killed as well for a part of their body. I am an Unilium, or vulgarly known as beast people... please do, do not misunderstand me, I can change my appearance... Even if I can change it, my current form is the real, it's part of me. They killed us for our fur. I survived only because I lived elsewhere than the rest. And I.. I'm also the last one..."

It would be a lie if I'd said Kurapika's hopes of having another Kurta alive didn't crush. He felt foolish, similar to if he wanted to cry. "Kurapika, let me join you." was a response he didn't expect.

"I believe in your cause. What the spiders did will not stay unpunished." -(Y/n) gently spoke to him, as he looked at them. For the first time, they looked Kurapika directly in the eyes. Their (eye color) catlike eyes were wet. And his words were full of support and determination to help. - "How many are there, similar to us? How many have suffered because of them? And how many more will there not be? We begged for help, but no one protected us. Let's protect those who are similar to us. We don't deserve to suffer, none of us did. We will not be giving them the pleasure of giving up. We will not be giving them the pleasure of leaving unpunished.

May evil pay for its crimes." Kurapika felt held for the first time in a very long time. Probably since the Yorknew incident. How much suffering was released at that instant? So much so that he gave up and hugged the person next to him who was caring for him. (Y/n) flinched at the contact. Just before he could cut the embrace, Kurapika felt a pair of trembling and timid arms enveloping him. It reminded him of the hugs that Pairo used to give him.

"I'll be frank, I don't believe in fate. But, random happenings in life culminated in the survival of both of us. We are the last ones. Let's make it worthwhile. The Spiders will pay."

[fanficnewbie]

Sienna Weighs In P11

OPEN HEART: SECOND YEAR - CHAPTER ELEVEN

(ETHAN x FEMALE MC)

MC is Dr. Francesca Houseman *This entry takes place after the end of chapter eleven. (This is a chapter by chapter series…)

Sienna visits Francesca in her hospital room.

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS Chapter 1:  MC tells Sienna about her Ethan convo at Donahue’s. Chapter 2:  MC and Sienna discuss Ethan’s gym routine. Chapter 3:  MC questions how well she really knows Ethan. Chapter 4:  MC takes Elijah and Sienna to see Evelyn’s exhibit. Chapter 5:  Sienna talks MC through a panic attack over Ethan. Chapter 6:  Sienna cheers on MC for standing up to Ethan. Chapter 7:  MC confides in Sienna how she met Ethan’s mother. Chapter 8:  MC has to the consequences after the baseball game. Chapter 9: Baz starts to question MC and Ethan’s relationship. Chapter 10: Sienna confronts MC over Ethan’s “Not Single” status.

Word Count: 1918 Rated: Teen

I make references to “SWI Chapter 8″ in this fic, so I suggest you read that one if you haven’t already.

***

Sienna walked into Francesca’s hospital room to find Ethan at her bedside. Their heads were huddled close together and her hand was clasped in both of his as the two spoke in lowered voices. They looked up as she came in.

“Oh no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She turned to leave but Ethan’s voice stopped her.

“No, it’s fine, I was just about to leave.” He raised Francesca’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly, before he stood up. “I need to get some sleep and check on my dog. She’s all yours.”

He walked towards the door and the two exchanged a glance of understanding as they passed each other. 

Francesca gave Sienna a questioning look when she approached her bedside, “What was that all about?”

Sienna took Ethan’s seat, “I should be asking you the same thing! Was that a public display of affection from Dr. Ramsey?!”

Francesca beamed, “Yes! But it’s not getting you off the hook. That look you guys just shared, and the fact that he felt he could display affection in your presence...what exactly happened with you two while I was locked in that room?”

Sienna shrugged dismissively, “I already told you that we went to go see Travis, hoping he could help tell us find out what the toxin was.”

“Uh huh, and what didn’t you tell me?”

Biting her lip, Sienna hedged her words, “Hmmm, well, we may have talked about you a bit, I mean, to be more specific, you and him, as an...item.”

Francesca couldn’t hide her surprise that Ethan would entertain such a dialogue, “What? How?!”

“It’s no big deal! I just thought with everything going on, maybe I could get him to open up. So, I told him that you were my best friend and how I’d do anything to save you. Then I expressed that you guys seemed like you were much more than colleagues, and he actually admitted that you were!” She threw up her hands, “But he wouldn’t say anything else about it. And I acted like I didn’t know anything else. I played it totally cool - just like when I was under interrogation with Harper last year. It was fine, he didn’t suspect a thing.”

Sienna broke into a broad smile, “Then I walk in here and see him kissing your hand! So, what exactly happened last night while you were both locked in that room?”

Excited to finally share her news, Francesca quickly relayed the events of the previous night. It was the first time she had told anyone about it and she realized that saying it out loud actually made it feel more real. “Sienna, you were right all along! He admitted that he cared for me and he shouldn’t have pushed me away. You should have seen the look on his face when we both got it all out in the open. He was happy, like a burden he’d been carrying was finally lifted.”

“Yeah, his burden of deep denial!” She paused, “Speaking of, the one thing I did find odd about that car ride is that he acted like I totally didn’t catch him doing ‘the walk of shame’ out of your bedroom last year. Like, dude, none of this is new information.”

Francesca laughed, “I’m sure he’s completely repressed that memory.” 

Sienna’s eyes widened with a sudden realization, “Oh my God. When you get out of here, you’re going to have the best sex. Lots of it!! Then you guys will get married, then have babies…beautiful, brilliant, stubborn babies.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m all in the for the great sex but the rest of it, slow down! It took me over a year just to get this far. Where’s that all coming from?”

Sienna turned away, instantly deflated, “Sorry. I guess I’m projecting a bit. I thought that would be my life with Wayne, but that’s not happening. Then with Danny, things were still new and I was the one who didn’t want to rush into another relationship, but I really thought that we had something that could turn into something more, we were just so…connected,” she wiped away an onslaught of tears with her hand, “I just want one of us to have the happy ending.” 

All the guilt that Francesca had been harboring since Ethan told her about Danny washed over her at once. Her heart ached for the pain she had caused her friend. “God Sienna, I’m so sorry! I just can’t help but think that if I hadn’t have gone and stolen the Senator and brought him here, then none of this would have happened.”

Sienna looked up, sniffing through her tears, “No, no, no! You will not blame yourself for this. How could you have known? How could any of us have known? If being a doctor has taught me anything it’s that sometimes really shitty stuff happens to very good people.”

“Don’t look for meaning in suffering, you won’t find any,” Francesca met Sienna’s red rimmed eyes, “Ethan once told me that. It crossed my mind many times when I was in isolation, contemplating everything that was happening, wanting it to somehow make sense.” 

Sienna nodded through her tears and Francesca scooted to the side, patting the bed for Sienna to lay down next to her. Settling against her, Francesca held her tight while she wept. “It may not look like it right now, but you’ll get the happiest ending of all. You’re too good of a person not to.” 

Finally able to dry her tears, Sienna gave a humorless laugh, “I guess the other shoe dropped, huh?”

“To say the least.” Francesca sighed, “You know, last night really was the worst night of my life, but even it had this amazing silver lining. Now, I’m just, I’m elated about Ethan, and totally devastated about Danny and Bobby. The range of emotions I’ve gone through in the past 36 hours, that we all have, it’s been unreal. ”

The two women were quiet for a few moments, comforted solely by their proximity to and affection for, one another.

“Sienna?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Are you really going to give an interview for Senator Ed? Call him a hero? I understand why you made the deal, I really do. But you don’t have to go through with it.”

“But I do. I promised him that I would and I’m keeping my word. However, I was hoping you could give me some more information on his new bill. I was planning on mentioning it.”

“No problem, I’d be happy to give you a few more details”, she paused, “as soon as I make them up.”

Sienna offered a wry smile and then flipped onto her back with a sigh as she stared at the ceiling, “So, what now?”

“I have no idea.” Francesca grimaced, “My parents and brother want me to go home for awhile, take an extended vacation. I didn’t call them when everything was happening. I didn’t want to worry them when I didn’t have any answers, but now they’re really upset, and rightfully so. How unfair would it have been to them if I actually did die? But still, I don’t want to leave. I need to make sure Raf is okay. I need to go to the funerals. I need to be with Ethan. And they don’t understand any of that.”

“Why don’t you have them come here?”

“I’m not sure I want that either. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and I do miss them, but they’re just not what I need right now. I need people who understand what happened, who went through it too, and that’s not them. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“No, I get it. It’s all only something that we can understand.” Sienna suddenly sat up and grabbed her hand, “Francesca, I need you to know that you’re my best friend and I love you.”

Francesca squeezed her hand, “Well that’s a good thing because you’re my best friend and I love you too. Dolphins, remember?”

Sienna smiled. “Good. We can all take a page from Dr. Ramsey. Life is too short to not tell people how you feel about them. I was so scared I was going to lose all three of you guys. I’ll never be able to tell Danny what I hoped for us, but I want to make sure that I’m clear with everyone else.”

“You are one of the most loving people I have ever met. I promise you, we all know. But, I can’t argue that it’s still nice to hear from time to time.”

“Well, you never need to doubt that you are loved. You should have seen how hard everyone worked to create that antidote for you guys. Whatever doubts you have about June and Tobias, get rid of them. They were laser focused, and failure was not an option. Elijah was in his element and Jackie was like a machine. Bryce was the best cheerleader, he kept us hopeful even when things looked dire. And the other MK doctors were so nice and supportive, it was like that stupid softball game never happened. Around midnight Naveen even made an appearance to reiterate that despite everything, cost was not an obstacle in finding a cure.”

Francesca smiled, “He stopped by earlier apologizing profusely for not coming to see me yesterday. It was fine, I totally understood that he had been busy dealing with the CDC, FBI, the media and the Board. But he still felt awful and offered me anything I could have to make myself more comfortable while I’m here.”

Sienna quirked an eyebrow, “And what did you ask for?”

“Better food for me, Kyra and Raf. He’s now having our meals delivered from outside the hospital, on his dime.”

“That’s a good deal.”

“I thought so too. Aurora also mentioned how great everyone worked together and we both had the thought...what if Edenbrook and MK became one institution and shared resources? That way we could both stay open.”

“Oooooo! I love that idea! We could be Mass Edenbrook, no Edenbrook Kenmore! Or maybe Kenmore Edenbrook? I dunno,whatever, great idea!”

Francesca laughed as Sienna plopped back down next to her, “Glad you think so too. Aurora is going to talk to Harper about it and get her thoughts. She’ll know whether the idea is feasible or not since she used to be Chief.”

“Another good idea. So, when are you breaking out of here?”

“Ethan said tomorrow if my strength is up and my blood work remains clear. Zaid stopped by to let me know that Esme is under his supervision and doing well despite being worried sick. He promised he was going easy on her and that she’d stop by after her shift.”

“We’ll be ready for you to come home. Jackie is straightening up and Aurora is helping me make my famous chicken noodle soup. Elijah is putting together the perfect classic comedy movie marathon. He figured we could all use some laughs.”

“He’s not wrong.”

“Hmmmm, it seems like Baz was right after all.”

“About what?”

“That we can get through anything because we have great friends at our side.”

“Yes, he was definitely right about that!”

Overcome with another wave of exhaustion, Francesca started to drift off to sleep when she remembered Sienna’s earlier comment, “Sienna?”

“Yeah.”

“Our babies would be incredibly stubborn, huh?”

“Oh my god, the absolute worst!”

Francesca smiled to herself as she drifted off to her friend’s light laughter.

Chapter 12: Francesca texts Sienna while spending time with Ethan.

***

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. YOUR LIKES AND COMMENTS MEAN THE WORLD!

TAG LIST

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[beck-a-leck]

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

Tagged by @thychesters Thanks Kate!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

56 on my main page, plus 5 others that are secret (aka Anonymous and don't show up in the count)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

772,412

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

~10, I have a lot of sub-fandoms as part of a larger fandom. Including but not limited to: Star Wars, Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, MCU, and many moons ago Voltron, Transformers, and Harry Potter.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

[Redacted Anonymous fic] at 1218

Aggressive Negotiations at 312

Wells of Silence at 287

[Redacted Anonymous fic] at 280

Weekend Guests at 209

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or at the very least, I try to respond to as many comments as I can. I love being able to strike up conversation with my readers, and wallow in angst with them for a while. At the very least, I like letting them know I appreciate their feedback.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm... that's probably the fic where I gave Anakin Skywalker an almost happy ending; twins, husband, you know the drill. And then I violently took pretty much all of that away. Killed Obi-Wan, killed the twins, left her with a heaping pile of survivor's guilt. That's probably my angiestiest fic.

But also, I write rather a lot of angst, so...

There's also the one where I gave a child 23 older sisters, and then had them slowly and painfully die off, leaving her alone as the sole survivor. (Star Wars)

And there's the one where I detailed how an 8 year old accidentally killed his brother, thus screwing up everything so badly, the whole timeline had to be erased. (Loki)

And, well, Wells of Silence IS a canon compliant AU. And we all know how Revenge of the Sith ends.

Writing angst is fun okay!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not really, no. Usually only when I'm messing around and being goofy, or if I'm combining a lot of sub-fandoms from a larger fandom group. But I don't really count those as true crossovers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nothing specific comes to mind. I'm pretty sure years ago (and I mean like well over a decade at this point) I got trolled/hate on a fic by someone who was out to attack me specifically. I remember deleting the fic, and beginning to distance myself from the fandom. but obviously it didn't stop me from writing so... jokes on them. 😂

Otherwise, more recently I can only think of instances where people have used my fic comments as an excuse to vent about canon things they hate thinking they'll find a sympathetic ear, or got 5+ chapters into a long fic before saying 'it feels unrealistic that this character would do these things' to which I'm pretty sure I just shrug and don't respond.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't really write fanfic smut, no. It's not really my thing, and I'm happy cutting things off at an M/PG-13 rating for sexy times.

That being said, I have written non-fanfic smut before. No I'll never share it. It is well and truly laughably terrible.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To my knowledge, no I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many, many, many years ago @jessi-08 and I co-wrote and absolute crack fic for Jak and Daxter. It was deliriously fun times. But in a more ""serious"" capacity, no I have not.

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Nobody? I guess?? I'm not much of a shipper, really. I enjoy reading and writing ship-content, but I've never really felt devoted to any single ship in any fandom. I'm a multi-shipper? Omni-shipper? Basically, if the fandom can bring its A-game to a ship, I'll probably quite enjoy it.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I mean, there are a couple dozen unfinished WIPs in my writing folder that I keep around with the intention of maybe finishing them, but deep down I never will. But also, none of those are posted.

Thinking of where I am and how my fandom interests have shifted, I'm probably never gonna finish Weekend Guests. And I stubbornly refuse to admit that Dust and Ashes is dead, but also, I haven't touched it in years, and kinda forgot what I wanted to include in the story. 😬

15. What are your writing strengths?

Oh gosh... (what is this question? I can't say nice things about myself)

I guess I would say my scene setting. I love spelling out descriptions and providing the sensory experience when I can in the scenery. Otherwise, probably my ability to sink my angst claws into people and hurt their feelings with words about fictional characters while I torture them worse than canon does (usually)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sticking to a goddamn regular posting schedule. I try not to get too wrapped up in writing regularly, so as to not punish myself for doing (or not doing) something that's supposed to be fun and relaxing for me. but damn I look at those WIPs that haven't been updated in months and I can't help but feel guilty.

Also, tied in with the above, starting too many projects before finishing up something else.

Also action scenes. and romance.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

It can work, I think, if it's done well. But usually, it's not done well, and it just feels clunky or tossed in for "spice." But like... pet names/nicknames in a native tongue, I am so weak for those! And it can also be a fun way to drop hints/foreshadowing, but as a bonus for the people who speak the language.

Idk, I'm not fluent enough in any language to feel like I have any definitive voice in the matter. I typically don't add other language dialogue because I don't trust google translate.

And if I'm writing for Star Wars, and it's an alien language anyways, I'm not digging that deep into the lore to construct a fictional language. That shit gets Universally Translated babey!

18. What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Jak and Daxter my beloved! I'll never let you go! Every five years or so, I'll spit out a new fic for you 💜

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh no! I can't pick favorites! Don't do this to me!

Wells of Silence still sits up in my top 5, for a number of reasons.

Another of my tops is actually one of my Anonymously posted fics, so I will not mention name or fandom, but it is very beloved.

And they've been on the forefront of my mind, so I've got a soft spot for Earth and Rebirth and Our Dear Empress

20. Who do you tag?

Hmmm, let's see. @durotoswrites, @jake-marshall, @lookforaspoopynewangle (I know kate tagged you, but consider yourself double tagged), @jessi-08, and... I have all of a sudden gone completely blank on which of my mutuals writes fic 😂😬 (i only slept for 3 hours last night. leave me alone. my brain is swiss cheese.)

As always, if you want to play along, you are more than welcome to say I tagged you!

[spooks-and-tea]

Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.3]

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, sexual situations(some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: Thank you for loving this and leaving lovely comments<3 I’m literally only writing it out of boredom and wanting to make quarantine a little better for you guys. Sorry this chapter is so dialogue heavy! I like writing dialogue! Spencer says interesting things! 

Word Count: 3,526

Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.

************************************************************************

In most fiction, a character wakes up confused, with little memory of where they are. You never understood that scenario. In what situation do you spend the night at a friend's house and wake up confused? Surely you have some memory of the night before. You figured it was just a work of fiction, a plot device writers used to make a character reflect on a situation.

That was what you thought... until you woke up in a fictional apartment.

You woke up with a killer headache, sore limbs, and a sore throat. The full package, lucky you. You thought maybe you had drank a little too much the night before, after all 27 is a far cry from 21.

I'm getting old.

You stretched your aching limbs and slowly opened your eyes. Laying on your side, your eyes settled on the analytical gaze of none other than Spencer Reid.

"Holy shit!" You screamed, jumping back and startling the hell out of Spencer. You ungracefully flailed as you teetered on the edge of the bed, body about to fall off. Spencer quickly reached out and pulled your elbow, leveraging your weight back onto the bed just in time.

You clutched the sheets, grabbing your bearings, while silently taking in the situation.

"Are you alright?!" Spencer asked, catching his breath.

"Just peachy." You deadpanned.

I'm in bed with Spencer Reid. God, why does he look so hot with bedhead hair?

Spencer gave you a wry smile before breaking out into laughter. You glared at him, but his laughter made you smile. It was nice to hear him laugh.

"I don't understand how you can be so calm about this. Imagine getting sucked into my world where you have to be an actor that plays yourself."

"Well, hypothetically speaking, if that were to happen I would be overqualified."

You rolled your eyes and got out of bed, but not before noticing the coffee and woodsy-vanilla scent. You'd smelled that before.

"Do you want breakfast? I know a good café near your place." Spencer stood to stretch. 

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, that's fine." You stared at the bed, trying to place that smell.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just- a smell. Your bed smells like you. It's familiar. From before."

To a normal person, your words would sound weird. But to Spencer? Well, they piqued his interest.

"You've smelled me before?" He asked, curiously. You nodded, looking up to see he had moved around the bed to stand in front of you.

"In a dream. Just before waking up here. Before we even met."

"Smell is a powerful memory trigger. Do you remember the split? When your reality entangled with mine?"

"I remember some of it."

"Maybe we should try something to help you remember," he considered. "Close your eyes and think of where you were when reality split."

You closed your eyes, taking yourself back to the memory of that place. You heard Spencer step closer, stopping in front of you.

You felt his breath against your cheek.

"You said the smell was familiar. What did it smell like?" Spencer spoke, softly.

"L-like you. Coffee and a woodsy vanilla," you stuttered, clenching the hem of the shirt Spencer had lent you. You were sure if you opened your eyes, Spencer would be mere centimeters away from you.

"Good. Focus on that. Were your eyes open or closed?"

"Open. My eyes are open." You fell into present tense as you immersed yourself in the memory.

"How do you feel?"

"Weightless. There's no gravity, gravity doesn't matter here. There's also something tugging. It's pulling me somewhere. It's pulling from here." You placed your hand on your chest. "It feels like a magnet, a super strong force."

"Look around. Do you see anything?"

"Yes, I see lights and- and they're moving all around me."

"What colors are the lights?"

"Every color, even colors I've never seen before. We can't see them here. I-I can't explain it, but it's beautiful."

"Can you hear anything?"

"Humming, like a television static. Crackling electricity and-and then a loud snap, like someone snapping their fingers."

"What's happening? Do you see anything else?"

You nodded.

"Curtains opening, red, velvet and soft. I'm traveling through them and they're all around me, like a tunnel. I'm being pulled through. Pulled towards the other end of the magnet, the other half. I know this. I'm sure of it. The other half is reaching out to me. Oh god, what if I can't reach it?" You distantly felt a tear run down your cheek. Your body was leaning forward more and more as you remembered, as if following the pull you remembered feeling.

"It's far away," you whispered, feeling the magnetic pull in your chest now.

"Reach out for it."

You leaned forward more and more following the pull until the dream was suddenly interrupted. 

"Y/N." Spencer's fingertips brushed against your cheek, his voice barely a whisper.

You slowly came back to reality, opening your eyes.

Spencer was hardly a centimeter away from you, his lips ghosting so close to yours. Your hand lay flat against his chest, keeping you upright.

Both of you stayed silent, eyes half-lidded, listening to each other's soft breaths, and not daring to move. If you lifted your head just a bit you could brush your lips against his.

Spencer licked his lips, beginning to turn his head and close his eyes.

Then, as if this were a bad rom-com Spencer's phone ringtone went off. You both jumped apart.

Spencer avoided your eyes, leaving the room to find his phone which had otherwise been forgotten after last night's reveal.

You stared at the doorway, breathing heavily. You could hear your heartbeat, as if it were screaming out for him to come back and kiss you.

Had he actually wanted to kiss you? He let you unknowingly come close to it before even bringing you out of your memory. Up until yesterday, his false memories had told him you two were just friends. Did he actually like you, or was he just intrigued by you?

Spencer returned to the room, still avoiding your eyes. His body was stiff.

"That was JJ, she was just checking in on you. She said you didn't answer your phone, so you probably forgot it at home again."

"Spencer, I don't even know where I live," you spoke, carefully.

"Oh, right. You're not the same person I remember," Spencer frowned, "I can show you where you live."

You stayed silent, feeling a little hurt from his comment, though it was true. Did he want to kiss you, or the you he falsely remembered? Did he miss this false-memory version of you?

Spencer stared at his bed, lost in thought. You fought the urge to reach out and smooth the crease between his brows.

"What are you thinking, Spence?"

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair.

"I think there are some things in this world we just can't explain."

"Hmm that doesn't sound very 'Spencer Reid' of you to say." You tried to joke, anything to lighten the mood.

"You only know the parts of me you've seen on tv," he smiled, sadly. "You know it's funny, I know so much about you, and these false memories convinced me that we're friends, but I don't really know you either, do I?"

"I'd like to know you." You quickly spoke your thoughts.

Spencer sighed, finally turning his head to meet your eyes.

"I'd like to know you too."

************************************************************************

"Come on, Impossible Girl, let's go get some food."

You blushed as you followed him out of his home, adjusting your now-dry old clothes from the previous day. You had used Spencer's shower, loving the, now familiar, vanilla-scented shampoo. His fans would probably kill to know the exact smell, you giggled.

"Hey, is that nickname from Doctor Who?"

"Yup." Spencer smiled, adjusting his tie.

You knew he didn't like to drive, but for the time being he was the one driving your car since you had no sense of direction here.

He first took you to a café and treated you to a bagel and some heavenly mixture of french vanilla and coffee. You both sat at a table in the back next to the window and people watched. Spencer profiling a few passerby for you.

"How am I going to return to work? I don't know anything about profiling, other than watching you spout out facts on the show." You joked.

"I think you'll catch on. You're smart. But if it makes you feel any better, I'll try to cover for you whenever I can. Maybe your acting skills will come in handy."

You snorted out a laugh.

"At least, in this new life, I got the part. Kind of sad I won't be meeting Matthew Gray Gubler though." You joked, watching Spencer fake offense.

"We should leave now if we want to stop at your place first. Don't want Hotch firing you on your first real day."

You rolled your eyes with a smirk and followed him out.

Spencer parked in front of a high-end apartment block. Leading you through a squeaky clean lobby. There were elevators, but Spencer told you that you were on the second floor anyways so you might as well take the stairs. You were already wondering how you could afford an apartment in such a nice building. He unlocked your door at the end of the hall and led you inside, flipping on the light-switch.

Your jaw dropped.

"You have got to be kidding me," you breathed.

"Welcome home." Spencer said through a tight-lipped smile, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't look surprised, he looked comfortable, like he'd seen this place a hundred times before.

You walked further inside, mouth agape. A chandelier hung from the entryway and a staircase wound up to the left. To your right was a grand piano and two armchairs surrounding a couch and television. Large floor to ceiling windows with red velvet curtains lined the wall near the piano. You brushed your fingers over the keys of the piano that probably cost more than you had in your old bank account and assets combined. Spencer lingered behind you as you peered through an archway leading to the next room. This room contained the kitchen, every appliance looked brand new. The room also had another floor length window, and French doors that led out to an enclosed balcony that was bathed in natural light and plants. You couldn't believe there was more, and you hadn't even walked up the stairs yet.

Spencer lingered behind you, looking around and smiling at your reactions.

Just past the kitchen, another set of French doors gave way to the dining room which contained a large table lined with chairs. Art hung all around. Circling back to the main entry and, you guessed, living room, your eyes trailed up the stairs.

"Spencer, this can't be my apartment, I'm not even sure I can call it an apartment;  it's the size of the entire second floor of this building! There's no way I can afford this." The place was gorgeous, it was like something out of a movie.

"As I understand it, your father left you a large sum of money when he passed away; he left everything to you. You made some good business choices and bought this place," he smiled to himself as he explained. "That didn't stop you from pursuing your own career at the BAU, though. You also donate to plenty of charities every year."

"But my father was a fisherman. He caught and sold fish at a little shop in my hometown."

Spencer frowned, "maybe where you're from, but here he was the CEO of a large company."

"How did he die?" You nearly whispered.

"He drowned. He was on a fishing trip, your mother was with him. A storm caught the small crew by surprise. There were no survivors." Spencer spoke softly, nearing you.

"My mother," you swallowed back all of the emotions that were building up.

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

You shook your head. "No, it's okay. I just wish I had a chance to meet my mom. For me, she died when I was very young, too young to remember her."

Spencer wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. You sniffled and hugged him back, welcoming the comfort you found in his arms.

"This is all so different. Would I sound crazy if I said I wanted to go back to your place?"

Spencer ran his hand up and down your back. "No, it actually makes sense. My apartment's familiar to you. You can stay the night again, if you want, but I don't think-"

"Y/N? Is that you?" A man's voice echoed from behind you. Startled, you clutched Spencer's shirt, though he tried to step away from you.

You looked up at the top of the staircase to find a shirtless stranger leaning against the railing.

"Um. Yes?" You answered in a questioning manner.

The man turned and started to descend the stairs.

"Spence, who is that?" You whispered, nervously. The man looked like a model with abs straight out of a catalogue.

"That's Chris. He's your-"

You stiffened as Chris pulled you against his chest. Your eyes widening as he kissed you, taking advantage of your surprise by sticking his tongue down your throat. Everything in you wanted to push him away.

"-boyfriend." Spencer mumbled.

When he pulled away you almost wanted to cry because Spencer had just watched a strange man make out with you. You didn't kiss him back, but Spencer couldn't see that from where he stood.

"Where have you been? I tried calling, but you left your phone on the kitchen counter."

"I-uh. I slept over at Spencer's."

"Why would you do that?"

"Um-"

"She had a long day at work, I offered to help her with some of her paperwork at my place and we sort of lost track of time, so she decided to stay the night. I let her take the couch." Spencer saved you an explanation. The ease at which he told the lie making you raise your eyebrow.

"Oh. Hey Spencer. How's it going, man?" Chris turned his attention away from you, but kept an arm around your waist. He reached out and roughly pat Spencer's shoulder. You held your breath, knowing Spencer hated when people he didn't know well touched him.

"It's going- it's going good." Spencer gave him a tight-lipped smile, lowering his head to look at his shoes.

"Good to hear. Hey, do you mind if I talk to her upstairs for a second?" Chris asked, pointing his thumb at the stairs.

"N-no."

"Good man!" Chris laughed, patting Spencer's shoulder once more. He led you up the stairs by your waist. You turned your head as you walked, giving Spencer a pleading look.

He turned his gaze to look out the window with an unreadable expression.

Chris led you through the first door, closing it behind you. You looked at the room, it must have been the master bedroom as a 4 poster king sized bed sat in the middle, floor-length mirrors and art lined the walls, and you could see another door at the end of the room most likely leading to a bathroom. It was all gorgeous, of course, but it wasn't as cozy looking as Spencer's quaint room. There wasn't a random scattering of books on the bedside table, or along the walls. If it wasn't for the rumpled sheets, you wouldn't believe anyone actually slept in here.

"You know I hate it when you spend the night at his place. I miss having you here, with me, baby."

Chris wrapped his arms around your middle, running his pinky along the skin just below your shirt hem. You had to admit, the man was drop-dead gorgeous, with baby blue eyes, a toned, muscular figure, and a complexion that glowed. He honestly wasn't the kind of man you'd normally go for. He was too perfect, like a manufactured person.

There was nothing about him, no small flaws to dote over, no inflection in his voice that raised the hairs on your skin. Who were you kidding? He just wasn't Spencer. Real life flesh and blood Spencer Reid, waited for you downstairs, with his unruly, wavy hair and dark eyes, and the way he did that thing where he scrunched his nose.

Busy thinking about Spencer, you failed to notice Chris trailing kisses down your neck. Your body tensed and you squirmed. He was a complete stranger to you, though technically your boyfriend.

"Mmm. I had to take care of myself while you were gone, but I imagined you. When you're on your knees begging for me, you know that's my favorite." Chris nipped at your earlobe. You had to admit, you moaned a little, that was one of your favorite things. Only someone you had been with before would know that.

"I-I have to get dressed for work now, or I'll be late," you stammered.

Chris chuckled and winked, seductively.

"I see, well I can help you with that." He started to lift your shirt. You took this moment to slide out of his grasp.

"Um, maybe show me in the closet?" You didn't want to have to explain why you didn't know where the closet was.

Chris grinned, and opened the door you thought was a bathroom. It revealed a walk in closet, lined with mostly your clothes, but some were definitely his. You felt like a kid in a candy shop as you ran your fingers along the racks.

You forced yourself to calm down and chose the first outfit you saw, you really were going to be late for work and you didn't want Spencer to get in trouble.

You retreated behind a changing divider, hanging the outfit on the divider. You quickly removed your shirt and pants, happy to finally be out of the old clothes. You felt arms around you, Chris had returned.

"Sure you don't want to take the day off? I could get rid of Spencer and we can spend the rest of the day in bed." Chris kissed your cheek. Man, why was this man so horny?

You frowned as he mentioned Spencer, talking about him as if he was nothing more than an inconvenience. You didn't know Chris, and you didn't want to judge him too harshly just because he wasn't the man downstairs, but he was certainly making it difficult to like him.

"Remind me how long we've been together, again?" You asked, distracting him as you pulled on a new outfit, a simple shirt and work pants combo with a trench jacket to shield you from the rain that was sure to start up again later. 

"About 2 months, why?"

You breathed a sigh of relief. Good, it hadn't been that long.

"No reason. Look I really should get going. I'l see you later, yeah?" You quickly made your way out of the room, waving goodbye.

You practically jogged down the stairs, feeling suffocated by the strange environment and strange man upstairs. Spencer still stood looking out one of the windows with one hand in his pocket and the other fidgeting at his work bag strap.

"Spencer," you whispered loudly, looking over your shoulder to see if Chris had followed you out. Luckily he chose to stay in bed by himself. You cringed at the thought of having to sleep in that bed beside him.

You fast walked to the front door, making sure you had your wallet on you.

Spencer turned around and almost looked amused at you trying to sneak out of your own house.

He followed you out and down the hall. You finally felt like you could breath.

"When were you going to tell me I had a boyfriend?!" You scolded him.

"He didn't cross my mind. Oh and here, I grabbed your cell for you while you were upstairs." Spencer held out your phone, you pocketed it knowing it was most likely dead and you'd have to find a charger at work.

"How on earth was any of that real? I just got here yesterday!"

"You're asking me like I should know how all of this works. I might be a genius, but even I don't know everything." Spencer smirked. "If I had to guess, I'd say the longer you're here, the more canon to the universe you're becoming."

"Chris is awful Spencer. I would never go for a guy like that," you sighed.

"You just met the guy. I don't know him well, but he certainly can compete in an ab contest with Morgan. And you have been together for 2 months, my memory tells me. 2 months has got to count for something."

You couldn't help but laugh at his observation.

"I really don't want to come back here after work." You groaned, getting into the passenger seat of your car.

"Is it really that bad? Your boyfriend's a clothing model and your home is worth millions. Some people would kill to have your life."

"Well it's a good thing we catch those people, then."

Spencer rolled his eyes, starting up the engine.

"Work will definitely be interesting today."

Next Chapter

[sadaveniren]

Annual Writing Evaluation 2020

Ssssssh I know it’s the beginning of January. I’m late. I was tagged by @daggerandrose​ and @lululawrence​ to do this. They were two slightly different ones so I just... Mashed them together. Whoops

1. List of Stories published this year: Did you let him leave a necklace (yup)

Fellowship of Eroda

Can we pretend (honestly reality bores me)

Tastes like strawberries

Just for tonight (I can be yours)

Fun time candles

The animals play

Knife’s edge

You’re outta control (what is your mind)

When you’re good to mama (he surprises you)

One shot two shot (you and me)

Clean up, clean up (everybody have some fun)

So wonderful and warm

Here comes the men in black (my soulmate)

Here to stay (here to play)

The happiest season

2. Word count posted for the year: 161,374 (jfc)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Taste Like Strawberries

Bookmarks: Just For Tonight (I can be yours)

Comments: The Happiest Season

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):  That’s tough. I know in another post I was like EVERY FIC I POSTED WAS A VICTORY and that’s true. I think I’m most proud of Here to Stay (here to play) because for an entire month every night I sat down and wrote start to finish a whole fic. Sure some of those Fics were 400 words but listen... I come from fandom of old where there were the 100 fic challenges and even trying to write 100 word Drabbles is HARD. You’re making a whole story every day and it felt good! I felt accomplished!!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I really really wish Here Comes the Men in Black (my soulmate) had come out different. I had much bigger plans and they got scrapped and I just. Wish things had gone different. But I was writing it as I struggled with the dreaded 4 month sleep regression which lasted TWO WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS AND I DID NOT GET MORE THAN 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AT A TIME FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS AND GOD IT WAS THE WORST SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A SERIOUS HEALTH CONDITION. So the biggest thing to fall away during that time was my writing. And that fic sadly suffered because of it 😔

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Every reviewer who commented during Kinktober and said that they weren’t usually a fan of the kink of the day but they trusted me enough to give the chapter a shot. A special shoutout to those who tried the rape fantasy chapter because of that trust.

A special SPECIAL shoutout to the asshole who asked me to tag every time I wrote girl direction for kinktober and told me they refused to read any of the chapters on the off chance I surprised them with a vagina or something.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Literally all fucking year. March-April-May was a particularly fuzzy time for me. I think any writing I got done was on my phone, half asleep, with my fingers cramping

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Louis in Fellowship to Eroda was a lot of fun to write. That fic overall was really fun to write because I got to include a lot of DND stuff and some of my favorite dialogue was there.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: From You’re Outta Control (what is your mind)

“You wanna ride daddy’s cock?”

The train was barreling along and Harry knew he didn’t have much time to make his decision. He quickly nodded.

Louis made quick work of unzipping his fly and turning Harry around so his back was facing his chest. He pulled him back by his hips and settled him down on his cock.

They both moaned at the sensation, and being so exposed. And then they started to fuck. It was wild, erratic, and desperate.

“Just think,” Louis groaned, “if I had an alpha cock. How we wouldn’t be able to do this if I knotted you.” Harry’s breath caught and he wiggled his hips. “Or maybe we would. You stuck on my knot through fuck knows how many stops. People coming and going. Seeing you there. Squirming like a little slut.”

Harry gasped. His mouth hung open as he tried to suck in air and ride Louis’ cock at the same time.

“Louder,” Louis demanded. His voice was beginning to sound strained. “Want your moans to fill up the whole car.”

It took effort but Harry was helped along when Louis reached around and wrapped his fingers around his cock. Then he moaned and it echoed in the empty train car.

“That’s right. Fucking yourself on daddy’s omega cock. So much better than some alpha’s knot isn’t it?”

“Daddy,” Harry whined. He bounced faster, eyes closed. He knew if he didn’t come before the next stop he wouldn’t be able to stop and anyone who came onto the car would see.

“Think how much come you’d have to hide if I was some alpha. It would leak out. Drip onto the floor.” Harry gasped. He was so close and his cunt squeezed around Louis’ cock as he tried to pull Louis with him. “Instead you’ll be pumped full of my omega seed-“ Louis’ voice cut off as he came, pulling Harry down flush against his hips as he came in him.

Harry watched as his own cock squirted come onto the floor and he cried out in embarrassment and lust.

The train was still running as they both caught their breath and it only started to slow down for the next stop as Louis edged Harry off of his cock. Harry could feel the mix of his slick and Louis’ come starting to slide out of him as Louis pushed him to the ground.

“Clean daddy off,” Louis said. His fingers tangled in Harry’s hair as he pulled Harry’s mouth to his slick covered cock.

The train was slowing down. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest as he got to his knees. He caught Louis’ eye. The lights from the station were starting to filter in through the window. Louis squeezed his fingers in his hair.

“What are you waiting for? These are expensive trousers and I don’t want your slick ruining them.” Harry could see the stain his slick had already left around the zipper of Louis’ trousers. “Clean me off.”

They jolted to a stop and the doors hissed open. Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ cock, licking him clean. He spread his legs as Louis’ come leaked out of him and onto the floor.

The doors dinged, singling they were closing and Louis pulled his mouth off of him. Harry stared up at him from where he was kneeling on the ground and Louis smiled.

“There’s a good omega. Come sit up next to me.”

Harry looked around. The car was still empty. His entire body sagged from adrenaline and he turned to kiss Louis. “We would have been in so much trouble if we’d been caught.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I lost…. a lot of fucks. I used to agonize about the fics I put out, and I still did, but this year I waded through writing a lot of stuff that normally I wouldn’t just because I didn’t feel ~motivated~ that day. But between Kinktober, and my advent fic, and just, forcing myself to finish fics even when I felt uninspired, I produced a lot more than I planned and that’s really important to me! But it also means that I learned to let fics go a lot earlier.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: Continue to just… write. I don’t have any big things I want to work on. Maybe crafting overall non-romantic plots? I’m trying that out for my big bang…. we’ll see how that goes.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @lululawrence​ and @londonfoginacup are literally my rocks in writing at this point. They were so helpful while I cried about not being able to finish any fics ever, and reminded me constantly to be kind to myself. Jenna and @becomeawendybird were also just so so encouraging and I think without them I would be absolutely lost.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: lol. Yes. Next.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: write smut horny, edit after. (or don’t like… fuck it no one reading your smut is gonna care when they’re getting off to it)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m focused on my big bang which I hope people will enjoy. And then… Man if I could finish my eternal WIP that would be EXCELLENT. But who knows!! Maybe a plot bunny will hit me.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. I think everyone has done this cause I’m late. Whoops.

[aggressivehasana]

Starry Night

Fandom: Aggretsuko/Aggressive Retsuko

Characters: Haida, Retsuko, Fenneko, Ookami, Tsunoda, Ton, Resasuke

Relationship: Haida/Ookami

Summary: AU where Retsuko didn’t break up with Resasuke and Haida is dealing with that.

Warnings: None

- - -

CHAPTER 12

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Words: 2,160

Betaed by: @pomp-adourable

A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry for not updating in a long time, I've been jumping through fandoms like parkour lmfao, but I definitely intend to continue this fic. Just needed to be in the right mindset for it, and season 3 was definitely a boost. Anyway, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your nice comments and for your interest in the story ;w;!! They keep me going <3 I hope y'all enjoy the new chapter and stay awesome, luv y'all! <3

“Ookami…”

Haida’s voice was soft, gentle, however he had to make a little pause to try to collect his thoughts, and generally, himself. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest, and he wondered if it’d be the same for the maned wolf. He knew about his feelings… not about the ones he might have for him, but about the ones he had for the idea of being in a relationship. So he wanted to say things as carefully as possible. He didn’t want to hurt him. 

“Fenneko told me something funny the other day…”

He stopped and shook his head. No, ‘funny’ wasn’t the right word to use.

“Fenneko told me something interesting the other day…”

Yeah, that was better.

“She pointed out that…or, I mean, implied… that you might have feelings for me…”

His heart rate increased, but he knew he couldn’t stop there or it would make his coworker uncomfortable.

“I-I just wanted to ask if it’s true! You can tell me! I won’t be mad or anything, n-nor I’ll force you onto something because I know you don’t want to be in a relationship! I-I mean…”

He stopped, wondering where would he even go with that? What difference would it make if he knew if Ookami’s feelings were true or not? Ookami didn’t want to date anyone, and himself… What did he want? Was he so starved for love that he was willing to feed off the feelings of his friend?

In the end he sighed and shook his head with a gentle smile, setting his gaze on the egg frying in the pan before him.

“I’m sorry, Ookami…” he mumbled to the maned wolf in his imagination before letting go of that picture. There was no use in practicing that conversation anymore. Besides, it was nearly 8 am and he needed to finish getting ready for work.  

He devoured his fried eggs and toasted bread quickly before leaving the dirty dishes in the sink and moving on to shrug on his blazer and put on his shoes. Weather was getting quite cold, but thankfully not enough for him to need to take another coat. Plus running to the subway station would always help to keep him warm. 

*** 

There hadn’t been anything unusual going on when he got to the building, neither when he took the elevator, but as soon as he turned the last corner towards the Accounting Department, there were two things that caught his attention: One, that the area seemed a lot noisier, with several voices exchanging dialogues with Retsuko’s voice; and two, that Ookami was standing outside the door, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. 

“Ookami?” escaped from his lips, feeling his heart thump in his chest just as his coworker turned his emerald eyes to him. But the maned wolf didn’t say anything right away, he just stood from the wall and walked fast towards him.

“Come with me, Senpai,” he mumbled as he grabbed his hand, and being harshly tugged, Haida had to hop a couple of times to regain balance and walk at the speed Ookami was walking. 

“Wh-What’s going on?” he asked nervously, but got no answer from the younger male, not until he shoved both of them in the Archive room and closed the door behind them. 

Ookami sighed, resting gently against the door and looking down to the floor with his ears slightly folded backwards. 

“I’m sorry, Senpai… Let’s just wait here until it’s nine o’clock and everyone’s gone back to their stations...”

Haida stared at Ookami for a bit, hoping the maned wolf would elaborate about the situation, but as silence stretched between them, curiosity got the best of him, especially for how affected his coworker looked.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to not sound too worried. 

It took a few seconds for Ookami to reply, but when he did, his voice was gentle.

“Apparently it’s Restuko-Senpai’s 9th month with her boyfriend. She brought him to the Accounting Department to introduce him to everyone…” he paused for a breath. “...As soon as I saw him, I knew I couldn’t let you walk in to see him there. So I said I was going to get some coffee and, well… decided to wait for you to arrive, to take you away...”

Another pause, a little longer this time. Ookami gave his coworker a moment to absorb and process the information given, and Haida lowered his eyes to the floor.

Was that so...? 

Right, it was the 25th of October. He knew that, he changed the date in his kitchen calendar as he would every morning, but for some reason, that day it didn’t sink in. For the past 9 months, he had been dreading to see the numbers two and five appear together in that small, squared piece of paper. However, for the first time since then, he just… ignored it.

“I see…” was his mindless response, only to let the maned wolf know he was now aware of the situation.

“I’m sorry,” Ookami said with a hint of sadness in his voice, and Haida raised his eyes to him.

“You don’t gotta apologize, Ookami!” He tried to laugh it off, offering him a gentle smile. “It is what it is. If anything, I’m grateful that you…” he stopped for a bit. He knew what he was going to say, but the words in his head were making his heart speed again, a light blush tinting his cheeks. “I’m grateful that you keep looking out for me,” he concluded.

At least he wasn’t the only one blushing now; he could see some color spreading over the younger‘s cheeks, and he looked sheepish.

“Y-Yes, well…” this one started, giving himself a moment to collect himself, as he straightened his back and looked up to the ceiling while shrugging, trying to play it off as something insignificant. “You’re my friend. I want you to be ok.” 

Haida laughed softly and slowly approached to lay against the door, next to him, leaving his briefcase on the floor while watching out for any sign of rejection from the younger male, like scooting away or giving him an odd look, but there was none; the maned wolf just remained in his place, keeping his eyes above and swinging his tail every now and then. He couldn’t help smiling. It was so weird to think that they had bonded over that mess of a situation, but if something good had come out of it, it was this… This… relationship he now had with Ookami. He wasn’t dismissing Fenneko, of course, Fenneko was irreplaceable, but Ookami had a way to make him feel special. Like he really enjoyed his company, like he really cared about him. And he couldn’t lie, it was nice. It was nice to hang out with someone that wouldn’t be tapping at their phone the whole time, or… give him vague answers, like trying to avoid talking to him… Every time they were together, it was like nothing else mattered to the maned wolf but him… and it was nice.

After a minute of silence, Ookami lowered his gaze to his superior, confirming what he thought he’d noticed out of the corner of his eye: that he was staring at him.

“What is it?” He asked calmly, though it was secretly making him a little nervous. 

“Ookami, can I ask you something?” Haida replied mindlessly, tilting his head while looking into his coworker’s eyes. 

“Um, sure?” 

“Well, you see,” the hyena started, chuckling as he moved his gaze to the floor and changed the position of his feet. “Fenneko told me something interesting the other day…”

He paused for a moment, feeling his heart starting to race in his chest. Wait, was he really doing this? 

“Fenneko-Senpai? What did she say?”

“W-Well....” 

Wait! No, no, no, no, what was he doing? Why was he doing this? He had already decided to not have that conversation with Ookami, didn’t he remember? He wouldn’t know what to do with the information, afterwards. Sure, if it wasn’t true they could just laugh it off like some sort of joke, but if it was true? Then what? Wouldn’t that make things awkward for both of them? Wouldn’t that ruin their friendship?

“Senpai?” Ookami asked after a prolonged silence, leaning forward to try to look at his superior’s face and slowly perking his ears up.

“Um... nothing, Ookami. Nevermind.” Haida decided to discard it, turning a little bit to offer the maned wolf an awkward smile. “It would probably be better to leave things like this.”

“Leave things like what? What are you talking about?” the younger one asked and Haida’s eyes twitched. 

Oh no, what had he done?

“N-Nothing! Just... you know... our friendship and all. We should just leave it like this,” he tried to explain, only managing to make the maned wolf squint in utter confusion with a glint of concern reflected in his eyes. “Ah, just, forget about it Ookami, it’s not important.” 

“No, but wait... What about our friendship? Is there something wrong? What did Fenneko-Senpai tell you?” 

“There’s nothing wrong, Ookami. Everything is ok! Okay?” Haida chuckled, placing a hand on his coworker’s shoulder to try to seem reassuring, but failing to hide the wavering of his voice. 

Oh man, what had he done? He knew Ookami hated when someone would say “it’s nothing” when clearly something was off. He could already see the younger’s eyebrows pressing together. He needed to change the subject, immediately. 

“Ah! Would you look at the time?” He asked cheerfully before pulling back the sleeves of his shirt and blazer to look at his watch, smiling widely at the position of the hands. “Two minutes before 9! We should hurry back to the Accounting Department now, or Ton will be furious if we’re late.”

“Senpai...” Ookami’s soft voice called him as he was leaning down to pick his briefcase, but he wasn’t going to let him finish. 

“You’re a great friend, Ookami. Thank you so much for saving me again,” he interrupted him with a genuine smile, opening the door gently to give his coworker time to lean up. “I-I’ll compensate you for it. How about during lunch? I’ll get you a drink! A coffee, a soda, anything you want. Yes?” 

He waited a couple of seconds for an answer, but the maned wolf didn’t say a word, he just stared at him intensely, his aura reflecting his disapproval of Haida evading the topic, and the hyena sighed. 

“Don’t worry about it, Ookami… Okay? It’s really nothing,” he reassured him once more, this time making himself sound more convinced. “Just a silly rumor, but nothing worth being given importance. I appreciate you a whole lot, so even if it were true, it wouldn’t matter! We’d still be friends, as we are now. Everything is fine.”

Haida could see the younger’s shoulders relaxing ever so slightly, but he still looked very insecure and puzzled, only drifting his gaze from him to look at the floor for a second before immediately returning it to him.

“Just forget about it, please,” He insisted. “I know you hate when someone says ‘nothing is wrong’, but you have to believe me this time that really nothing is.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?” Ookami asked with a harsh voice. 

“Because I’m afraid it’ll make things awkward between us. Not on my behalf, I just said that even if it were true I wouldn’t mind… but maybe for you? It’s not a risk I’m willing to take, Ookami. I really like hanging out with you, spending time with you, and I don’t want that to be stained. It was stupid of me to even mention it, and I’m sorry that I have to leave you perplexed, but I need you to trust me… It’s not worth talking about.”

Haida gave his words a moment to sink in, resulting in Ookami only lowering his eyes and folding his ears backwards as he slowly slid his hands in the pockets of his pants. He smiled a bit to himself. The younger didn’t seem to be willing to press on, which was good, but... he certainly wasn’t looking too happy either. He hated seeing him like that. He exhaled softly through the nose and approached him, placing a hand under his muzzle to pull his face up and be able to look him in the eyes. 

“Hey. Everything is ok, I promise,” he repeated gently, wondering what else he could do or say for the maned wolf to believe him, but although a tint of red had spread over the younger’s cheeks, he didn’t hold his gaze for long. He looked away and took a hand to remove Haida’s from under his chin as he started surrounding him. 

“If you say so, Senpai,” he responded weakly, letting go of his superior’s hand before making his way out the door.

[silver-wield]

I’m curious as to what you think about the friendship between Tifa & Aerith with the remake & if you have any (possibly in-depth) analysis of their friendship? Watching them interact during the remake really made me think about how much Tifa cares for Aerith & vise versa. I love how their friendship progresses over the game. I hope we get to see more of it in future games. I’m all about Cloti but I also love whatever Tifa & Aerith got going on for themselves, just the ladies lol

I gotchu, nonny!

About time we show everyone these girls can get along and hopefully people will stop trying to erase one of them!

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I've had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response) 

Cloti action touching

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Before the recap I'm just gonna say the vid I'm taking this from is over 20m of them being friends and they didn't even meet until late in chapter 9 and they weren't even together after chapter 12 and only reunited in chapter 17, so if they can manage to become bffs in such a short amount of time then yall warships can calm your chill too.

Oh and I'm also throwing in some Cloti asides since Cloud is in all of this too and I wanna lol. Maybe next disc we'll get more of the girls without the leading man.

Quick recap for anyone who's forgotten the series of events.

Tifa's gone to get info out of Don Corneo at Wall Market and asked Cloud to go back to Sector 7: “You've seen how much ass I can kick”

Aerith's decided that's a bad idea, so they head in and jump through a series of side quest hoops to get them inside Corneo's place.

After the goons knock them out and take them to the basement, Cloud wakes up and sees Tifa, who asks if he's ok. After his embarrassing moment where he remembers he's wearing a dress in front of his crush, Aerith wakes up.

Eugh, I've mentioned the utterly janky quality on some of my screenshots right? There's a split second after this where Aerith is beaming at Tifa that I'm trying to capture but it’s just not happening.

Okay, so Aerith has literally just woken up and the first thing she does is bounce over to Tifa and introduce herself, all smiles and cheer. Tifa for her part is confused but polite because who is this girl? This is pretty simple from Tifa's pov. She is just confused, but polite. There's no signs of “rawr that's my man over there you can't touch”.

Aerith is like that one kid who's always first to greet new people. She's very much the extrovert, compared to Tifa's introvert.

(Bonus: Grumpy Cloud is grumpy. It's like he expects Tifa to be more responsible when he hears her insane plan lol)

So, after hearing Tifa's story and hearing the obvious concern in her voice, Aerith jumps in to reassure her. You'll notice she's leaning forward with open arms. This is simplistic body language, she's being open and earnest. Tifa has her full attention on Aerith, so she's listening without any signs of dismissing her – even though they've literally just met and she has no idea what Aerith is like or what she might say.

(Bonus: Cloud rolling his eyes. He thinks they're both crazy lol)

Responsible Tifa makes a return here! After Aerith's done enthusiastically throwing all of them to the wolves, Tifa shows concern. She knows Cloud and she can fight, but she's worried Aerith will get hurt because of her. This is a girl she's just met and we've seen how she is with strangers (shinra middle manager), so going along with Aerith's idea with no reservations wouldn't be her. Both girls have semi-relaxed body language. Their poses are mirrored, so there's no one is better than the other here. They're meeting as equals.

(Bonus: Cloud appears to be looking at Tifa's butt in this screen lol)

So, we're out of the basement and dealing with rapists. Fuuuun. FF7 really went there back in the day huh? Tifa and Aerith are on the same page, you'll see. They're both disgusted. Aerith probably more so than Tifa, who I expect is a little more used to dealing with scumbags who don't take no for an answer. Semi mirrored body language – Aerith has her hands protectively in front of her while Tifa's are by her sides so that she can better strike a fighting pose.

(Bonus: Cloud at this moment in time is calling Corneo a depraved bastard lol)

Aerith's little eyebrow raise and knowing look here. Now, she doesn't actually know how much ass Tifa can kick, but it looks like she suspects anyone who knows Cloud has skills. Not to mention he told Aerith that Tifa can handle herself. (Or maybe it's meta!Aerith, who knows?) She's expectant, anyway and Tifa delivers. Not to mention the teasing dialogue the goons mistake for being sexy. But that's what douchebags get.

Vicious Aerith is vicious lol I just wanted to add this one because it's a great expression for her and actually shows a different emotion from her besides her typical mask of cheer. She actually looks convincingly dangerous here, unlike most of the time when she's about as threatening as a cupcake lol

So Aerith kicks the douchebag and Tifa follows up in a seamless display of co-op that showcases her fighting skills. She takes Aerith's lead and goes for it.

Then comes the fight scene. Massive co-op between the girls. Tifa protects Aerith at one point, who uses the opportunity to grab a makeshift weapon.

Tifa is the disciplined fighter using her Zangan martial arts and Aerith...uses a chair lol

I have to admit that's one of my favourite moments with her in the entire game. It also fits with the expression she pulled at the start of the fight – that vicious look showed just how far she'll go when she wants to win.

Both girls, all smiles, complimenting each other for a job well done! What else is there to say about this? Oh, yeah, neither of them needs a lesson in how to high five lol

Remember, they've just met like an hour ago, if that. They're already high fiving and getting along.

Ok, so we've moved on from Corneo's place and now we're in the sewers. Here's where we hit a change in behaviour from Aerith. She's no longer the bouncy puppy jollying everyone along to be cheerful and optimistic. She's now become very serious and grave. She could choose to reassure Tifa that the slums are safe, but instead she urges them to hurry. This is likely another instance of meta!Aerith knowing things before they happen.

Tifa is very in her own space during this section of the game; she's worried about her friends and her home, so there's a sense of urgency in all her dialogue. Worry is clear in her tone and Aerith empathises with that and reinforces the need to get back.

You'll notice in most of these moments between them that we're looking over Tifa's shoulder. That's her perspective we're getting, as opposed to when we get scenes with Cloud when we're standing in a third party location watching both. This is deliberate framing so that we relate to Tifa in this situation. We’re looking at Aerith with some distance, but a human perspective rather than an omniscient one.

(Bonus: Cloud still takes the time to flirt with Tifa by reminding her of their little “sayings” interaction from chapter 3)

About halfway through the sewers and the gang has to cross a manky water way. Cloud goes first, leaving Tifa and Aerith behind. Tifa is still worrying about what Corneo said. Her body language, expression and voice all convey a deep fear of what will happen.

Aerith, though probably meta!Aerith, again doesn't act how she did when they first met, which is to reassure her things will be ok. She's become very serious and quiet, unlike how she was in the beginning. Her face here clearly says she knows they won't stop the plate from falling, but I think she knows if she says anything it would just make things worse. She and Tifa are only just sort of friends at this point, so she probably believes it isn't right to confide in her when she's already worried about so many people.

You'll see again the perspective is Tifa's and she notices that something is wrong with Aerith. Despite having so many other concerns, she notices that Aerith looks down. Her question is that of someone wanting to have all the information about the worst case scenario, but before she can find out anything Cloud tells them to keep moving (nice timing)

And now we're at the crossing bit. Tifa's made her way over and waits with Cloud for Aerith. Tifa's very encouraging at this point, reassuring Aerith that she's almost across. Once the platform topples into the muck, she reaches out a hand and pulls her to safety. This is another example of Tifa being the protector.

(Bonus: Cloud grabs Tifa when she staggers.)

“Then it's a date.”

It's likely that by this point Aerith has realised Tifa is spiralling with worry. She offers words of comfort and says to think of something fun. They agree to go shopping, and Tifa suggests bringing Cloud along to carry their stuff (lol bf role)

What's interesting is their contrasting body language here. When Tifa lowers her guard she puts both hands behind her back, opening herself up. It's a vulnerable position for a fighter to be in.

Aerith does the opposite. She's put her hands in front of herself in a protective gesture. This makes me think that even though she's being genuine with Tifa, she's holding something back from her as well. This is likely another meta!Aerith moment because she's aware of her approaching death and doesn't want to make too deep a bond with any of the group.

(Bonus: flirty little lean forward and “nothing” from Tifa when Cloud asks what they said about him)

“I saved her, she saved me”

I know that's a line from Cloud, but it applies to Tifa and Aerith too. Tifa saved Aerith from the sludge and now Aerith grabs Tifa's hand to pull her to safety from the collapsing walkway.

Aerith knows she can rely on Tifa to help her and now Tifa knows the same.

Now, I've seen a theory floating that whenever Aerith touches someone she shows them a vision of OG canon. I'm taking this moment to point out that even though she grabs Tifa's hand, you can see she never touches her skin. Idk if this theory is right – I've not examined every time she touches someone – but it's an interesting idea.

(Bonus: Cloud pulling his “oh shit, Tifa in trouble I must rescue” face as the walkway caves in)

YAAS TEAMWORK!! They're more in sync than in the Don's place as they automatically work together to save Cloud, who looks annoyed that he didn't make it on his own lol

After that it's further into the sewers until we get to the waterpump minigame (I hated this).

Cloud is about to suggest he goes, but Tifa cuts him off, so she and Aerith head over to do it. Now, I was expecting some kind of chat between them or some kind of war hint, but it was literally just the minigame and nothing else. I guess the absence of something is something too?

And this is probably the only shipwar image in the entire game, so take it in, people.

I don't like it. I didn't like how it made me not like Aerith after everything she and the others have gone through until this point. Her dialogue towards Tifa is meaner than any other time and I feel like this is OG Aerith – the one yall expected. She mentions Cloud is “her” bodyguard – something Tifa wasn't even aware of since it's never been mentioned until this point and Tifa looks hurt by the way Aerith is talking to her. That's not jealousy on her face. She's dismayed this person she thought was a friend is acting not like a friend. The fact Cloud notices this and backs up Tifa's side by saying “Ghosts aren't my thing” is evidence he supports her and won't let anyone hurt her.

This is not a nice image. Hope the OG fans enjoyed it though and I hope it's the only shipwar reference Square makes. Tifa's worried/scared, which has more to do with the ghosts. Cloud is ambivalent; he's being SOLDIER Cloud. Aerith is enjoying the chaos she’s caused.

And the nasty shipwar moment is over and they're back to being friends again. Tifa's fear through this section of the game makes her cling to Aerith when the lights go out. Aerith, for her part, calls Tifa to her, so that she can look after her. It's a nice moment to rebalance their friendship after that earlier bullshit.

Tifa looks worried – although I've said before her default expression is pensive, which makes sense considering her personality.

Aerith doesn't look afraid at all. She looks curious. One of them wants to be there and the other very much doesn't lol

(Bonus: Cloud grabbing Tifa and protecting her is everything)

And we're past the bit with the ghosts stealing Aerith away and Cloud and Tifa rescue her.

Tifa crouches down and comforts Aerith. She's kind and sympathetic and you'll also notice that this is the first time we're seeing Tifa from Aerith's pov. This is what Aerith sees when she looks at Tifa. Someone kind who came to help her. A friend. Tifa smiles and offers her hand, reinforcing their friendship and that she'll be there to support Aerith.

(Bonus: Cloud and Tifa's complementary body language here towards Aerith really highlights how much in sync they are. They both touch the same shoulder and have similar poses. They really look like a couple whose goal is protecting their friend.)

And now in a reversal we have Aerith comforting Tifa. This is hollow comfort, however, since Aerith knows what's about to happen and they can't stop it. This is evidenced by the fact we can’t see Aerith’s eyes. Her expression is concealed. This doesn't stop her from reaching for Tifa because she sympathises with her struggle.

Tifa saves Aerith again, this time from falling pipes. Their friendship is growing, although at times it feels one sided. Tifa is the protector, looking after Aerith, while Aerith is the one who relies on Tifa. It goes towards Tifa's maturity, compared to Aerith's free-spirit. Tifa is the responsible protector, while Aerith doesn't have to be because she's got people who look after her.

This could be another instance of meta!Aerith, since she's very calm when she says this and doesn't try to stop Tifa. She might know that Tifa will be ok if she goes. Her word choice is....odd. It's not really her heart Tifa's following, it's her principles. She can't stand by and let people get hurt when she can do something about it. But the way Aerith says this line is pretty telling. There's actually a big difference when meta!Aerith is on the scene compared to OG Aerith – who is annoying af.

It's the mark of a fast friendship that Aerith can tell this about Tifa, that she needs to go help, but then again, it's also not that hard to figure Tifa out when she's so open. I can't think of a single instance in the game when Tifa isn't straight as an arrow.

So, we've had very few moments when we're looking at Tifa through Aerith's pov. And now we're back looking at Aerith through Tifa's pov. The look on Aerith's face is very serene and reminds me of the one in the bar when she saw the flower. That definitely suggests to me that this is meta!Aerith and that's who has been building friendships this time around and not OG Aerith – who is still annoying af.

I'm further convinced of this when Aerith mentions Marlene and the look on Tifa's face is all “What?” while Aerith's suggests she knows exactly where to find Marlene, what she looks like, how old she is, when her birthday is and what she had for breakfast.

An unspoken communication passes between them. Lots of micro expressions here and some quiet hums and nods. I mean, if we're at telepathy then they're definitely friends.

Despite being reserved, Tifa grabs Aerith's hands in gratitude. For someone who doesn't display physical affection a lot, this is meaningful for Tifa. She trusts Aerith and she's relying on her to save Marlene. She's grateful and doesn't have the words to express it. She just nods, once, and her eyes are damp like she's trying not to cry.

And one last teamwork shot because look, neither of these girls needed lessons how to high ten...Cloud lol

Ok, the last one is the most important – typical.

Tifa's asked Aerith if she's ok a lot over the course of the game – which is a lot a lot when you think how little time they had together. This is the first time Aerith asks after Tifa's wellbeing. It's probably one of the few times anyone asks how Tifa's doing and they don't mean physical condition. Sure, Cloud asks, but we know why. Everyone else assumes Tifa can handle it. Tifa says she can, so it must be true. Even when she's shaking from repressing her urge to cry. Even when she can't sleep at night.

I noticed this my first playthrough because it stood out, and it's meant to stand out. This concern from Aerith to Tifa and Tifa to Aerith is mirrored through their interactions. It's supposed to make you think better of the girl who isn't part of your ship. It's supposed to make you draw a line under OG Aerith and Tifa's jealous rivalry and start thinking of them as friends. Because they are friends.

Conclusion:

The devs tried to end the ship war by making the girls more friendly towards each other in hopes that yall would stop bashing the one you don't like. These girls clearly have little rivalry going on. They're supportive, kind, open and understanding towards each other. Their friendship is one of my favourite things in the game and did actually go a long way to making me like Aerith – did I mention I hate OG Aerith?

Instead of arguing who Cloud loves more, why not try appreciating each girl for the qualities she brings to the overall game and to each other's life? 

Aerith likes Tifa. Tifa likes Aerith.

[snowbellewells]

Ok. For the end of year asks. Don’t shoot me, but I want them all. If you don’t want to answer them all, just pick the ones you do.

Oh boy, Krystal @kmomof4, are you sure I’m really that interesting?!?  Just for you though, I’ll answer them all. (Though, I skipped number one, because I had already answered it in a previous ask.)

2) What’s your least favourite thing you wrote this year?

Oh man, I don’t know quite how to answer this, because I don’t hate it or anything - in fact I got some really lovely and enthusastic feedback for the first chapter I posted. But picking a Music Man AU as one of my fics for the @captainswanmoviemarathon was something I should have given a bit more thought to....  It’s really daunting to write something that is it’s own unique thing and interesting in its own way, and yet still does justice to something you love that much and have seen so many times. The movie musical is perfection already and that makes it really hard for me to make much progress! ;p

3) Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?

I mentioned this briefly in my answer to @captain-emmajones earlier for my favorite work this year, but my Sherlock Holmes Victorian-era AU “The Case of the Heart in Armor” would be up there as being pretty out of the norm for me. I think you even mentioned in your comments, Krystal that it was a darker venture for me. Other than that, your birthday one shot “Here in Our Time” would be the other really “different” one for me, because I made a genuine attempt at M-rated smut.

4) Which of your fics this year was most successful?

I should probably go back and double-check numbers to be completely sure, but I am pretty certain that my ghostly @cssns one shot “For Once, Don’t Let Go” was my most commented on, liked, reblogged fic this year.  I chalk much of that up @hollyethecurious‘s gorgeous illustration with it and it begin part of such an awesome event. Still, I’m going paste the illustration on here for folks to see if they missed it, just because I love it and want to see it and celebrate it again:

5) Which of your fics do you wish was more successful?

In general I feel like the writings I have done this year have been pretty kindly noticed and commented on. I’m always flattered when anyone reads and responds to my work. I did get a kick out of my other @csjanuaryjoy submission “Adorable Old Man” and it didn’t seem to be one as many people saw, so I guess I’ll say that one.

6) What’s your favourite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

There could be others that I’m just not remembering at present, but what popped into my mind was this lighthearted little bit of conversation in the most recent chapter of my @captainswanmoviemarathon fic “Do as the Romans Do”. I was happy with how it echoed a bit of Roman Holiday’s dialogue, but did it’s own think and blended humor, exasperation, and affection too:

“Blearily she found his gaze across the room, blinking as though to force herself fully awake, before she murmured quietly, her voice a husky, groggy purr, “It’s the oddest thing. I’ve never been alone with a man, even in my dress. Without my dress, it’s m-most unusual…” The slurry quality of her still half-slumbered words made him smile inspite of his discomfort. “But I don’t seem to mind. Do you?”

Killian felt a certain part of himself very distinctly minding her state of undress, and he was intensely glad for the blanket he had wrapped around himself. Yet, despite his checkered pedigree and past, and the rakish rogue he sometimes played with colleagues and friends, he did pride himself and make the effort to be a gentleman. Giving a small dip of his chin in a nod to her, one side of his mouth quirked up into a half-smile as he sardonically replied, “Don’t mind me, Love. As long as you’re comfortable. I only live here.”

Completely missing the wry sarcasm in his words and tone in her somnabulent state, she bobbed her head smartly in agreement and happily plopped back down on the pillow, curled up once again, and returned to her slumber.“

7) What’s your favourite piece of description or narration?

“The moonlight glittered off the dark waters of Storybrooke harbor, where the Jolly Roger was now permanently berthed. Pausing on the wooden planks of the dock, Emma gazed up at the ship, seeing her sailor standing on board, bathed in the ethereal glow and staring up at the stars overhead. His magnificent old ship had come to seem like her home too; she practically lived there with him for all intents and purposes.

Something warm swelled within her chest as Killian turned at the sound of her approach and smiled down at her in welcome. ...Holding out his hand to help her aboard, Emma thrilled at the gentle pressure of her pirate’s fingers wrapped around her smaller ones. As she reached his side on deck, she leaned into Killian’s sturdy frame while his arms encircled her and his spicy scent enveloped her senses, the rightness of the moment and them together and their place in their world - home at long last - could not be any clearer. Their port was set, wherever they might sail.”

From the last chapter of my @cssns19 wereworlf sequel “Face to Face in the Broad Daylight”, which didn’t conclude until February of this year, so hopefully it counts! (Many thanks once more to @branlovestowrite who did the gorgeous cover art for that one!)

8) Which fic this year was most fun to write?

I think I probably had the most fun writing my Sherlock Holmesian, Victorian AU. I got such a kick out of posting the different plot twists and cliffhangers and waiting for @kmomof4‘s reactions alone! And I seemed to gain several readers that didn’t usually follow my works as well! :)

9) If you could go back and change something about one of the fics you wrote this year, what would it be?

I don’t know exactly what pieces I would change without going back over and giving it a re-read, but I worried that my ghost @cssns20 one shot felt a bit rushed because I wrote and typed and edited and changed almost right up to midnight on my designated posting date and still wasn’t satisfied with it.  I just felt like it could ahve been a little more coherent or fluid and I didn’t have time left to make it quite what I had envisioned. Other people didn’t seem to mind though. It’s always funny to me which stories seem to grab people’s interest or gain readers.  I’m always grateful, but sometimes (often it fact) it isn’t the one I think it will be...

10) What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

I’m going to try to finish the all of the WIPs I have in progress. I have NEVER BEFORE, since I first began posting my fiction online, had so many pieces in progress at the same time. It worries me that people are waiting and my loss interest or patience and stop reading them. So I want to get all of those moving along and completed.  I also just hope to produce more stories in general. So many ideas, and so little time! But if I would be less self-critical and really use my down time efficiently, I think I could get farther on my fic writing in 2021.

[centuryofdean]

When Lightning Strikes - Chapter 8

Author Disclaimer:: The Hobbit, Middle Earth and its characters are not mine. I take no credit. The story line and even some dialogue–also not mine. Instead I claim my Original Character Laurel and the adjustments to the story line.

Author Note:: Sorry! I accidentally updated the latest chapter on my personal tumblr! It was deleted and now being re-uploaded correctly.

Summary:: From when Laurel Took was small she dreamed of a man. Every time she dreamed of him, he could not see or hear her. Over time they are able to communicate–but he’s been dreaming about her too. Finally after years of anticipation Laurel takes the leap and kisses him. Only for her to wake up and dread the real world. Then lightning strikes and she finds herself in a familiar place, with a familiar face.

Rated:: M for Mature. Please do not read this story unless you are 18+ At this point in the story there isn’t much, but later on the M rating will come into effect.

Warnings:: Language and Violence

Pairing:: Kili x OC (Laurel)

Kili

Thorin declared it was more comfortable for us to stay outside for the night rather within the walls of our 'enemies'. As a fire was started we all started to settle in, some smoking from pipes. Gandalf disappeared into the walls, leaving Bilbo looking somewhat uncomfortable with us. Laurel had still yet to return from when she left us earlier. It had been hours, and I began to worry.

Fili and I found a spot near the trees away from the fire to place our things and make an area to sleep. We did not want to tear up the grass or weeds in the clearing, because it would surely upset the elves. Instead we used some of our spare clothing as pillows.

"Oh Ori, that is a great drawing!"

Laurel's voice perked my interested, she had returned. The elves had given her a smaller thinner green tunic and smaller thinner brown pants. All of which that fit quite nicely, shaping against her curves. Across her chest she adorned a brown leather vest lined with pockets that trailed down her abdomen; and made her chest more prominent. One arm was covered with a silver cuff to protect her wrist up to her elbow, while her other hand was covered partially with an archer's glove. Across her back was a brown worked bow and on her hip was a leather quiver of arrows. Slung to one side was a bag just barely hiding a long sword scabbard.

She was dressed as if she were prepared for this adventure, and she looked marvelous.

As I approached I could see that Ori had shown her the drawing that he made while she was sleeping the first day. It was not perfect, but it was a good drawing none the less.

"There you are," I stated, "I was starting to think that they had taken you and refused to return."

"Kili! Look at all the things they gave me," she smiled radiantly. Everyone started to gather around to see.

"They gave me a bow and arrows, dagger, sword, something to store water, clothing, a bag, and herbs for healing. One gave me a book to look from to study so that I can help while we are journeying," she showed each thing as she said it. "That is why I took so long. It's all in elvish so I had to have it read to me and write in English so that I can read it later." It was truly amazing that they had willingly given her all these things without anything in return. Then again maybe they were trying to make her feel comfortable in a world she is not familiar with.

"Well, I say we celebrate," Nori exclaimed.

"Celebrate what," Fili asked.

"For escaping enemies and death twice since we started this quest! One thanks to the lass, and another to Radagast and all our great fighters!"

At once everyone yelled together. In moments flutes and lutes were taken out, some playing while others started to smoke from pipes. Bofur produced a barrel of wine that was given to us, passing out goblets. I grabbed two myself and filled each up, handing one to Laurel and taking a deep drink myself.

"Here," I took her weapons and bag, handing her the wine, "take a sip. I will put your things down and then we will dance!"

After putting her items down next to Fili and I's things, I returned finishing off my goblet and lightly tossing the cup to the ground. Laurel was still sipping from hers. "Let me finish this and take off my shoes," she smirked. Tossing the cup up, she downed the rest, setting it upon the ground. The brown leather boots she was given were tossed aside, and I snatched her quickly.

Each of the dwarves that were up and dancing were flinging Laurel back and forth between the lot of us. Even Bilbo cut in and started to dance merrily as well. It was a splendid time of fun and laughs. Laurel snuck away for a moment, gasping and smiling alike.

"It's too hot," she laughed. I watched as her rustic hair cascaded down her back to tickle her buttocks. It was sheen with sweat.

"Would you like me to braid your hair for you," I murmured taking a step forward. "It looks awfully bothersome."

"You want to braid my hair," she asked in a light laugh.

With a step forward I grabbed her hand, pulling her with me to where our things were. "Go ahead, sit," I urged. Again she laughed, making my heart light with warmth. I sat behind her and dug through my sack for the comb I kept and some extra braid clasps for on the occasion I would braid my own hair.

"Sorry its sweaty," she offered.

"It is alright," I replied running the comb through her hair, "what would you like? Something simple? Down the back or off to the side? Loose or tight?"

"Something loose and off to the side I can sleep with. Too tight and I'll get headaches."

From where we were setting we could make out the fire in the distance, but we were still enough alone that no one would see us unless they came to look. I took the opportunity to be close to her, almost as close as we were while riding the pony. The feeling of her hair between my fingers was one I would never tire of.

"I love it when you play with my hair," she giggled softly, "it is soothing."

"Trust me when I say I love to do it," I murmured as she leaned back into my touch.

"The sky here is so beautiful, nothing like mine."

"Do you not have stars?"

"In my world, they capture...lightning, in glass bulbs to produce light. It is so common that most of the world uses it excessively to the point where it is so bright that the stars dim in comparison. We have stars, but where I lived you could not see them properly. So all of this is what I've always wanted to see, everywhere here is so beautiful."

With each leg on either side of her I finished off her braid, clasping it and giving it a small tug. Since it rested against one of her shoulders, the other was bare to me with the column of her neck. It was hard to resist the urge, but I fell into it anyway, lulled with elvish wine. My hands held on to either side of her waist as I pressed my lips against the skin of her shoulder blade.

A soft gasp left her lips, her hands finding mine and resting on top of them.

I continued my assault on her neck, pulling her fully against me. She tasted of sweet apples almost, breathing just a little harder. "You are the most beautiful thing I have seen in this world in a long time," I whispered into her ear just before I pressed my lips behind it. My hands started to wonder north of her waist.

"Kili," she moaned out softly.

Yes, that was a new favorite. I liked that even more than her laugh I do have to say.

"Yes," I asked in a hoarse voice of my own. It had been a long time since I have lain with anyone, and since it was Laurel my need was a little stronger.

"Please, stop," she urged. It was then I finally noticed that she was trying to push away my hands near her breasts. "We can't. Stop."

Not wanting her to feel uncomfortable I pulled away begrudgingly. "Why," I asked honestly. "I thought—"

"No," she muttered getting up and away from me, "We can't. Thorin would not allow for it, I am not on the top list of his most favorite people. I don't want to be in this position."

"Well we can try another," I laughed, "you can lay atop of me. It is a pleasurable position for both."

All the color raced to her face.

"I do not care what my uncle thinks of us or you. I do say you saved our lives just this morning, his included," I rose to grasp her hands. "Do not worry of him. I wish not to waste time with you, I wasted so much in the past five years."

Her hands slipped from my own as she took another step back. Beauty was truly what she was. The braid I placed in her hair framed her face and trailed nicely, but I did not like the heartbroken look she was giving me.

"I just can't," she whispered.

"Is there someone else," I asked quietly.

"No," she whispered, "there is no one else."

Fili stumbled into the area, looking a little off balance and cheerful. "Lady Laurel," he stumbled to her, "you must share another dance with me!"

Her lips twitched into a smile. Jealousy pitted my stomach. Of course my brother would win her affection.

"I can't Fili," she urged, "I am too tired. I was just about to find somewhere to sleep."

"Nonsense," he laughed, "Kili has already made a spot beside us!"

I gestured to the spot we were just sitting in. "Come," I waved her over, "I have bedding for you to use. I promise I will not attempt to touch you."

"Kili," she groaned out, slumping and approaching me once more. "It isn't like that, I promise."

"Go to sleep," I muttered, laying in the spot between hers and Fili's, "I will wake you when it is time to rise in the morn."

With that I threw an arm over my eyes and attempted to sleep. Through her movements on the ground she laid next to me. Sleep found me soon after.

Previous Chapter << Chapter 7: The Heart is in the Eye of the Beholder

Next Chapter >> Chapter 9: Following the Path of Jealousy