#just. 10 more left. why did i make this thing 20 pages again

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 17

Fuck, guys, I don’t even know what this story is even doing at this point. I’m on part 18 and it does NOT want to wrap up. Like at all. It wants to go on forever and I don’t know how to stop it. It MIGHT be 20 parts. It might be 50 at this point. Who the hell knows? Not this poor belabored author that’s for sure.

Anyway...so this part is a little on the sad side. We get more of Eddie’s backstory. And a little bit of bitchy Steve to lighten it up at the end.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

*

It wasn’t until Steve was getting ready for school the next morning that he found he had left the comic at Eddie’s.

He was throwing homework in his bag when he realized it felt lighter than it should.

He unpacked it slowly and set everything out on his bed. He stood there looking at his stuff, hands on his hips for a moment before it dawned on him.

Shit.

The comic book. After he had finished all the pages he had painstakingly put them together in comic book form. He even designed the cover. Then took them to copying store and got it bound like a real comic book.

The kid at the shop was impressed with how well the pages were mapped out.

But it wasn’t in his stuff he had pulled from his bag. Which meant one thing. Eddie had it.

It was fine. No need to panic. He had written for Eddie. He was meant to read it.

So why was he freaking out?

Oh, only because Steve didn’t want him to read it until after the school play. Hell Steve’s nerves were already shot with the three additional performances Steve wasn’t planning on having to do. But adding Eddie knowing about the Upside Down? It made him vaguely ill.

Fuck what if he did throw up from nerves? He’d never done it before, but then again, he’d never performed in front other people before either. He was a literal mess.

He packed away all his things carefully and prayed to whatever supreme being that was out there for a merciful death on his way to school.

*

Eddie had stayed up the whole night reading Steve’s comic. Personally, he thought that the story was good, the characters were interesting and the monsters were frightening enough.

It wasn’t until he got the final page of the comic where Steve’s afterword was.

Unlike the rest of it where it was professionally done, the last page had a carefully glued on piece of paper. So this was clearly something that Steve didn’t want other people to see.

And Eddie would have respected that if it hadn’t been addressed to him directly.

“Eddie-

So there you have it. The start of my trauma. And yes this is only the start. The real story began with a missing boy and a cover up so large it frightens me. But that was never my story to tell. This is my story. This is where it truly began for me.

Well. That’s not quite true. It started with a girl and a swimming pool. A tragedy that should have been mine. But that night I was so intent on getting laid that I let it happen. Barb deserved better than me. She should have lived and I died.

I don’t know why I lived. Maybe it was because I was needed to protect those closest to me. That’s all I thought I was good for. Dying in a blaze of glory protecting those I hold most dear. And then I met you.

God, Eddie, you make me want to live. For the first time in my miserable existence I found people who like me for me. And not just because I was needed. To protect. To defend. To die. For them.

And then you came along and protected me. Defended me. I don’t think anyone has ever done that for me before.

Just do me one favor. Peel out this insert. Throw it away. Burn it. I don’t care. Just as long as you are the only one that sees it. I don’t want you in danger. But I needed you know this side of me.

The boy with the bat. The boy who never knew what love really was until he met you.

-Love Steve”

Eddie choked back tears and place a hand to his trembling lips. If Steve had really gone through all that. If even a fraction of it was true. Even if none of it was. That was still the most beautiful love letter he had ever seen. And it was addressed to him.

Shit.

Tears rolled down his face as he read the letter again and again. After the seventh or eighth read he finally did what Steve requested and peeled the letter out of the last page of the comic. He folded it carefully and crawled under his bed.

Buried underneath of the mess was a simple black lockbox. He set it gently on his bed and then went to his dresser. He slid out the bottom drawer and jiggled the bottom until a small key fell out onto the floor.

He picked the key up and sat on his bed. He unlocked the box and placed the key between his lips for safe keeping.

Inside the box were all the things Eddie didn’t want other people to see. The couple of birthday cards his dad had sent him from prison. His mom’s suicide note.

Not even Wayne had seen that one. No one knew but Eddie that she had taken her own life. He had seen her life insurance policy and knew it wouldn’t pay out if they thought it was intentional. So accidental overdose was what was on her death certificate.

Eddie had been her sole beneficiary and it was placed in trust until he turned twenty-one. He was going to use it fund the band and get the hell out of Hawkins. He just had to make that far.

The paperwork for the trust was in there too. Wayne had offered to hold on to it for him but at the time Eddie didn’t trust anyone and giving that up felt like too much.

His birth certificate was in here too. Well a copy of it anyway. Wayne had the original, but Eddie liked knowing he had a copy too. In case he needed to get away fast.

Also in here was a portion of the money he had made from dealing drugs. He told Reefer Rick, no meth and no cocaine. Mainly weed and mushrooms, with a small smattering of the harder drugs. He had set aside ten percent of his earnings as an emergency fund. In case he needed it.

The last thing that was in there was a picture of his mom. She’s sitting on the swings next to Eddie and smiling into the camera as Eddie laughs gleefully. Just out of frame was his dad who had been pushing him on the swing. It was the last moment of happiness Eddie had before Lawrence Munson got into selling and doing drugs. Had got his wife, Edie addicted. Before Larry had got himself arrested in Texas and Eddie was sent to go live with Wayne.

He placed the love letter on top and closed the box. He locked it back up and set everything to rights. He looked at the alarm clock and groaned when the bright red numbers glared back him. It was 4:57am.

Fuck.

Eddie was supposed to be up in an hour for school. Yeah. That wasn’t happening today. He flopped on the bed and threw his arms out. He thought about the comic and what was inside it. He remembered Steve telling him that he had changed it so unless you were there that day you wouldn’t recognize the events. But even with that it felt...well, it felt like he was being let in on secret if he was honest. A big one.

He looked over at the clock again and it was almost six. He sighed and got up. He grabbed the stuff he needed for his shower and ducked into the bathroom. The last thing he needed this morning was Wayne seeing him still in the clothes he wore the night before.

He showered quickly and got out before Wayne had even turned on the coffee pot. He was dressed and ready for school before the pot had finished brewing.

Wayne handed him a cup of coffee and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What do you want, old man?” Eddie groused. He wasn’t in the mood for small talk considering he was running on fumes.

“You were up all night reading that comic, weren’t you?” Wayne said and took a long sip of his coffee.

Eddie sighed. He should have known better than to think that Wayne wouldn’t catch him at it. After all this was the man who had been catching him reading books at three o’clock in the morning since he was twelve.

“It’s Steve’s.”

“I didn’t know he read comic books,” Wayne said almost an echo of what he said the night before.

“As in he wrote and drew it,” Eddie clarified.

Wayne’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s a pretty talented boy you got there, Eddie.”

Eddie blushed. “I know. This was the story he was originally going to tell for his art class. Seniors in ART 4 had to do an eight page comic book for their winter finale. Steve started doing this one, but the teacher flipped out and threatened to call his parents because it was ‘too scary’ or some other dumb shit.”

“So he completed it anyway and turned in something else?” Wayne supposed.

Eddie nodded. “He told me he was going to finish it so that I could read it.”

Wayne hummed. “Do you think he left it here on purpose? So that you would read it without having to physically hand it to you?”

Eddie tilted his head and looked up thoughtfully. He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think Steve would have wanted to explain it to me.” He hung his head. “I shouldn’t have read it without that permission, but you know me.”

“I don’t think I would have been able to resist reading something that was meant for me either,” Wayne said, nodding.

Eddie drank the rest of his coffee and kissed his uncle on the cheek. “I’ll see you after school.”

“Bring that boy yours with you,” Wayne said. “I’m making my lasagna tonight, and I want him over for dinner.”

Eddie grinned. “You got it, old man.”

He was out the door and driving off before Wayne could even shake his head. Wayne loved that boy and if he was really lucky he would get another sweet boy out of this deal.

*

Steve was standing nervously at the door to the math hall because it was closest to the parking lot, chewing on his thumb nail. He knew he shouldn’t chew on his nails, but his nerves were shot to hell.

But the bell rang and there was still no sign of Eddie. So after a moment or so of indecision Steve gave up and went to class.

He spent this first class of the day fidgeting with his pencil, tapping against whatever surface was in reach. The desk, his book, his lips, his hand.

Finally the teacher had enough.

“Mr Harrington!” she barked.

Steve looked up at her in shock. “Yes, Miss Davis?”

“Do you have some hot date tonight that you’re nervous about or something?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest as she stared him down.

Steve looked at her blankly.

“Your pencil, Mr Harrington,” she explained tersely.

He looked down at the pencil. “No, Miss Davis. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I’ll stop.”

Miss Davis pursed her lips. “See that you do.”

Steve tried finding less obvious ways to work through his nerves and then it hit him. He pulled out his drawing pad and began to doodle.

“Mr Harrington,” Miss Davis called out again some time later. “Would you please pay attention in my class?”

Steve blinked up at her. “You were talking about the Spanish forced colonization of South America, weren’t you?”

A couple of the kids in the class giggled.

Miss Davis turned red from the embarrassment. “Carry on.”

Steve gave her his lop-sided goofy grin.

Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @garden-of-gay @anaibis @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites   @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead  @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @lovelyscot @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @jinxjinn @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @estrellami-1 @dangdirtydemons @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread 

[dominicdelagol2]

Planning to try out Auctober again this October! Feel free to join in and draw for each prompt! List of prompts and their context below:

1: Red Instead - Instead of the blue puzzle piece as displayed by Autism $peaks, we light it up red instead!

2: Special Interests - Anything you love the most in your life!

3: Music - Music is always nice to listen to, especially video game music!

4: Comfort Food - Food is yummy. Fast food is even yummier because why wouldn't it be?

5: Stim / Verbal Stims - Stims include making mouth noises and waving your arms back and forth for comfort!

6: Stim Toys - Fidget cubes, spinners, squeezable toys, etc. -- they can be fun to use!

7: Sensory Euphoria - Some things can make you most happy, whether it's eating chicken with queso dip, seeing a light-filed city during night time, store candles with a good food-like smell, you name it!

8: Hyperfixation - One particular thing you're focused on so much! It can be the periodic table, a video game series, painting, anything you can think of!

9: Info Dumping - Wanna know what one thing is? Then you'll wanna be ready for a detailed explanation going at least 200-pages long!

10: Neurotypical Expectations - Neurotypicals expect an awful lot from autistic people. For all we know, some random guy might expect you to know how to build an aircraft carrier! Of course, that's just me haha

11: Jobs...? Where? - Obviously, there are TONS of open jobs available, but whatever jobs ARE open, workers and its managers expect you to work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work...without considering your overall health at all, nor giving you a long-enough break to help you catch your breath physically and mentally.

12: The Outside World - Outside is scary. No matter how safe you are, there's a tiny chance something bad or worse will happen. Society can even expect you to be "normal".

13: Social Anxiety - It's hard enough making friends, let alone be an extrovert. Chances are, one could have sociophobia!

14: Self-Advocacy - Nothing about us without us! Seriously, neurotypical adults have talked about autism and didn't include autistics in the conversation. (got that from one of my Auctober 2023 drawings)

15: Self-Care - Self-care is important! Make sure to brush your teeth, eat and drink healthy, exercise and whatnot!

16: LGBTQIA+ - Autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQIA+!

17: Rainbow Infinity - Rainbows are a whole spectrum of colors! Same with the autistic spectrum--all sorts of different experiences!

18: Au-DHD - ADHD, but "A" is replaced with "Au" as in aurum, which is Gold in Latin. ADHD can mean one is hyperactive!

19: Too Much Energy - The energy builds up too fast and you just have to exercise to tone it down! Of course, the energy could vary, sometimes being suddenly energetic when you just need to sleep.

20: Out-of-Nowhere Info/Fact - Say you're doing a simple job like vacuuming. All you have to do is move the vacuum on the floor as you hold the handle, thus cleaning the floor. Simple, yes? Well, surprise -- some guy sucker punches you with random information such as "Hey buddy! Vacuums use more electricity when you turn the vacuum on and off rather than letting it stay on!" (I've actually been told that one time, and the info sounding unconfirmed to me, it just left me in a long mental stasis of confusion) Like, when did anyone ask for a detailed fact about something that's SUPPOSED TO BE SIMPLE? I don't have time to comprehend an entire page of info, I just like to keep things SIMPLE as you neurotypicals tell me to my face.

21: School Experience - Experience can include elementary school, middle school, high school, college -- You can explain a particular event or two during any of these time periods!

22: Routine - A little something every day or now and then to stay consistent! Daily tasks can included 3 meals a day, staying productive or such!

23: Unmasking - Unmasking is not easy. Defending yourself from the unpredictable world, trying to blend in with society -- it's exhausting! Let the autistic community just be what they wish to be already.

24: Autistic Viewpoint - How do you view the world as an autistic?

25: America (Derogatory) - This one might not need an introduction -- America, the "Land of the Free" and the "Land of Opportunities", sure likes to screw us all over! Police are too paranoid, justice is a load of baloney, daily gun violence anywhere and everywhere, dangerous bigots normalizing the R-slur, then you have big and popular figures here smearing the autistic community into a negative light...and the list of bad things never stops growing! A very cruel country, like not even cartoon villains are this mean-spirited! How is the autistic community supposed to exist in peace when the USA is basically nothing but trouble? Happy 4th of July, I guess...

26: Comfort Media/Games - A TV show or video game is always nice to play and keep calm when times get tough out there!

27: Fancy Wording - A series of five-dollar words can arrive rather than a simple "yes" or "not" to suffice. Sometimes, fancy words such as Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis can be fun to learn about!

28: Gold - Gold is part of the periodic table, atomic number 79! Light it up gold instead of blue for Autism Acceptance! 'Au' as in Aurum, and autism!

29: Neurodivergent Community - There's all sorts of Neurodivergent people worth seeing! They all have different experiences!

30: Autistic Pride - Autistic and proud!

31: FREE SPACE -- Explain any topic you wish!

[puckinghischier]

400 follower celebration!!

i’m absolutely floored that in the short amount of time i’ve been writing on here that somehow there’s 400 of you that enjoy what i write enough to follow me and keep coming back for more.

i didn’t do any celebrations for any other milestones because i wasn’t confident enough to commit to it at the time, but i know the only way to truly get over my fear of being a bad writer is to keep writing.

so, with that being said, i’m going to put this out there. if you want to, if you don’t want to, it’s up to you, but i’d absolutely love if you guys sent me requests for the prompts you want to read!!

if you want to send in a request, just send me the number and the person you want me to write it for!

as i get requests, i will be marking out the numbers that have already been requested, in order to avoid duplicates

i currently write for:

- Nico Hischier

- Luke Hughes

- Jack Hughes

the only other player i would consider writing for is Quinn, but i’ve never written for him before, just given him a few cameos in other fics. if you really just want a Quinn fic i’ll consider it and try, but no promises.

i just don’t feel like i have enough knowledge yet of other players and their personalities off the ice to commit to writing a fic about them.

i grabbed these from another blog, but I cannot find the post again for the life of me, so credit to whoever originally posted these. if i find the page i'll tag them here later

Angst/Emotional:

1. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.”

2. “Just please open your eyes.”

3. “Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me.”

4. “Just please, don’t leave me.”

5. “Why does everyone always leave?”

6. “It hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much? I just want it to stop.”

7. “Forget it. Just like you forget everything else.”

8. “I never ask for help because I’m not sure I know how.”

9. “It’s alright to feel broken every once and a while. And it’s alright to take time to heal.”

10. “What is it about me that isn’t good enough?”

11. “I wish I was brave.”

12. “You almost died and you’re making jokes?”

13. “I’m scared.”

14. “I don’t miss you. I miss us.”

15. “I can’t lose you.” “You already did.”

16. ‘“You weren’t there…why weren’t you there? I needed you! I needed you! And you weren’t there!”

17. “All I wanted was a happy ending.”

18. “You don’t have to hide your tears from me.”

19. “I’m not leaving you here.”

20. “You left without saying goodbye.”

21. “For once in your life, do what you want! Be selfish!”

22. “Being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain.”

23. “You said you wouldn’t leave, and then you did.”

24. “This is the third time you’ve broken a promise to me, I’m starting to think you are doing it on purpose.”

25. “Whatever you do, do not make a sound.”

Fluff/Romantic:

26. “I just cant see myself ever living without you.”

27. “If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

28. “The closest thing to love at first sight I’ve ever experienced happened when I first laid eyes on you.”

29. “I didn’t believe in soulmates until I met you.”

30. “Did you just tell the person I was gonna go out with that we’re dating?”

31. “You owe me a kiss.”

32. “Go with me?” “Only if you hold my hand.”

33. “I’d feel much better if you’d let me walk you home.”

34. “If I asked you to stay, would you?”

35. “You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.”

36. “I’ve never felt this way before, and truthfully it scares me. But, the idea of never trying scares me even more.”

37. “You’re telling me you believe in love at first sight?” “I’m starting to.”

38. “I promised to love you forever, and that is a promise I intend to keep.”

39. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

40. “You give me a reason to be better, to do better.”

41. "All I’ve ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home. And you gave me that. Because you are my home.”

42. “They don’t compare to you. No one does.”

43. “I thought I had the worst luck, until I met you.”

44. “I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met.”

45. “I think I’m in love with you.”

46. “You brought me breakfast?” “Well you said you always forget to eat before you go to work, so I thought I’d make sure you ate something.”

47. “Everything feels right when you are with me.”

48. “I don’t care what others say, I want to be with you and that’s all that matters to me.”

49. “You bought me flowers?” “Yeah, well I noticed you’d seemed kinda down, so I wanted to cheer you up.”

50. “I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved.”

51. “I wasn’t sure what love really felt like until I met you.”

52. “You owe me.” “I owe you $20 not a day of pretending to be your partner to get your parents off your back.”

53. “I can braid your hair for you- I mean, only if you want.”

54. “Maybe if you stopped staring at them and actually talked to them, you might have a chance.”

55. “You said you wouldn’t fall in love with me.” “I lied.”

56. “I want you. All of you, and not just halfheartedly, but wholly. And maybe that’s selfish, but I don’t care.”

57. “Can you stay? Just for tonight, please. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.” “'l’ll stay for as long as you need.”

58. “You are my family.”

59. “We’ve been by each other’s sides for years, you think I’m gonna leave now?”

60. “Take my jacket, I don’t want you catching a cold.”

61. “I’d wait a thousand lifetimes for you, because you are worth waiting for. So when you are ready. I’ll be right here.”

62. “I will never stop fighting for you. I will never stop protecting you.”

63. “I can’t stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you’re always on my mind”

64. “Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

65. “Can I kiss you?”

66. “I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”

67. “How long have you had this planned?” “Since the moment I fell in love with you.”

68. “You came all the way here for me?”

69. “Why are you staring at me?” “Because I think you’re beautiful.”

70. “I think I’m falling in love with you.” “I think I’m okay with that.”

71. “What are you doing here?” “I wanted to see if you were okay.”

72. “The world gets a little brighter when you’re around.”

Miscellaneous:

73. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone screw something up that fast before.”

74. “I’ve never told you that before.”

75. “You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

76. “I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

77. “You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

78. “Wake me up when it’s over.”

79. "Abort mission, I repeat abort mission.” “What? Abort what mission? All you were doing was introducing yourself to your neighbor?” “Yeah, and they’re too attractive. I can never speak to them again.”

80. “At least I kept my promise.”

81. “I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you.”

82. “…Did you just sniff me?”

83. “Of course I noticed, I notice everything about you.”

84. “Are you alright?” “Yeah, why?” “You look mad.” “That’s just my face…”

85. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

86. “You don’t actually have to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”

87. “Since when did you open a bakery in your house?” “Since I got bored.”

88. “You’re bleeding.” “No shit.”

89. “For the most part, I am, in fact, an idiot. But I fully admit to it, which should count for something.”

90. “Stop grumbling and just tell me where your medicine cabinet is.”

91. “Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

92. “I hate that I let you convince me to do this”

93. “We really need to stop meeting like this. "Then stop breaking into my house!”

94. “Why are you creeping outside my bedroom window?!” “I thought it would be romantic if I climbed up here.” “You gave me a heart-attack!”

95. “What are you doing here?” “I got locked out of my house.” “Again?”

96. “Run.”

97. “I can’t stand you!” “Then sit down.”

98. “Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise.” “I hope the surprise involves food.”

99. “You wont regret it!” “Already am.”

100. “I am nothing if not consistent.” “Yeah, a consistent pain in my ass.”

101. “What happened?” “Do you want the long version or the short version?” “Uh, short?” “I made a mistake.” “Okay, long version.” “I made a very very big mistake.”

102. “What happened to your hand?” “I hit my hand on something.” “On what?” “Your ex’s face.”

103. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

104. “I’ve been thinking-” “Uh-oh”

105. “If I survive this, I’m killing you.”

Scenario Prompts:

*For prompts with Characters A and B; you can choose who is who in your request (who is reader and/or character)

106. Huddled together to keep warm.

107. Fall asleep in same bed, on opposite sides, wake up in each others arms.

108. Character A comes to talk to Character B, pretending to be B’s s/o when a stranger is making B uncomfortable. Leads to them asking B out on an actual date.

109. Continuously running into one another for days after having a meet cute.

110. Hands brush as you stand next to each other, you think it’s on accident until their hands gentle wrap around yours.

111. Shielding the other with their body to save/protect them.

112. Caught staring too many times for it to be a coincidence.

113. Size difference hug; they engulf you.

114. You refuse to leave so they pick you up and throw you over their shoulder.

115. Character A can tell Character B is getting nervous in a big crowd, so A slips their hand into theirs to help them calm down.

116. Character A teaching B to ice skate/roller skate.

117. B taking care of A when they are sick.

118. Holding hands underneath the table.

119. Bandaging the other and then kissing the injury gently.

120. A surprises B with a picnic.

121. Getting stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel.

122. B sitting/standing behind A and leaning into them as they show/teach them how to do something.

123. As you begin to fall asleep, you feel a gentle kiss pressed to your temple and a blanket draped over you.

124. B comforting A as they wake up from a nightmare.

125. A realizing that they have feelings for B when they see them with someone else.

126. B bringing A hand-picked flowers.

127. Thinking you are alone in the house but you hear a noise upstairs.

128. B buys A’s dream house and surprises them.

129. Sharing an umbrella.

130. Walking together and it starts to rain, so they grab your hand and you start running until you can find somewhere to escape getting wet.

131. Fake date to a wedding; leads to confession.

132. A game of 20 questions that ends with “Can I kiss you?”

133. There’s a big storm going on outside while A is at B’s house, so B insists they sleep over.

134. A hears that B got hurt and rushes over in a panic to see if they are okay.

135. B just moved to town and really only knows A (just met). B is being followed or is lost and calls A for help. Of course they come to help and it turns into a date of sorts.

136. A falling asleep while sitting next to B, as there head falls onto B’s shoulder, B stays as still as they can, afraid to wake A.

137. Cloudgazing or Stargazing together, as you lie next to each other, their hand slips into yours.

138. Looking around for the shirt you left at your s/o’s house; only to find it in a drawer with other clothes and items you’ve left.

139. B get’s so nervous about their dinner date with A that they accidentally make enough food to feed ten people.

140. A hand written love letter left at your doorstep.

141. B dancing to music as their cooking or cleaning, and as they spin around A suddenly appears, grabbing onto B and continuing to dance with them.

142. A grabs B’s hand instinctively out of surprise or fear, and continues to hold it.

143. B helping A step down from a high place by taking their hand, and then not letting go as they continue to walk.

144. Comparing hand sizes, then linking fingers together.

145. Dancing around the living room of the first home you’ve bought together.

146. A asking B on a date until they say yes.

147. B asking A to attend a wedding with them, to get out of going with someone their parents tried to set them up with.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2 Episode 15-"Lost And Found" Aka Rory Loses Dean's Shitty Bracelet That She Didn't Even Care She Lost , Aka BraceletGate, Aka QuarterOnAStringGate, Part 3

Now for the contiuation of Gilmore Girls 7-10 MInutes At A Time Because That's All I Can Tolerate of Lorelai Gilmore. Or Until I Reach My Max Number of Screen Shots (30).

Where we last left off, we were witnessing the complete miscarriage of justice wrought by AmyShermanPalladino wherein Dean The Butt Forrester is taking Rory to a town wide book sale and sulking like a little bitch while Jess Mariano is stuck slopping some bitch's gutters (and not sulking like a little bitch about it, I might add), some bitch being Lorelai Gilmore. This scenario has to violate some international treaty against war crimes. R: You sure you don't want to look around? DTBF: I did. R: For five minutes. DTBF: It was 20 minutes. Then I stopped. And you continued for another two hours. R: It has not been that long. DTBF: *shows Rory his watch* R: Oh, sorry. Thank you for mansplaining the concept of time to us, Dean The Butt Forrester. Speaking of time, I think it's time for your weekly ButtScout meeting, better get going.

Judging by the four identical BOOKS BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS fliers affixed to the same door, I'd venture to guess there is a book sale going on. Maybe I'm wrong. Dean:

EVERY GOD DAMN TIME. DEAN "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME" FORRESTER! AND LORD OF THE RINGS IS LIKE FOUR HOURS LONG. THIS DOES NOT SEEM LIKE AN EVEN EXCHANGE, DEAN THE BUTT. WHY AM I SHOUTING. I JUST HATE DEAN THE BUTT FORRESTER SO MUCH. Well, if it means Dean shuts up for four hours (if he doesn't talk through the entire movie) maybe it would be a welcome relief for Rory. Crossroads with Brtiney Spears came out the week before this episode aired. This movie is 1 hour and 34 minutes long. Rory, follow my instructions very closely: open one of those books, place DTBF's hand in between the pages, and slam down. Enjoy his screams of agony. You're welcome. Rory, struggling to juggle an armload of books that DTBF isn't offering to help her carry, goes into Don't Make Dean Angry/ Don't Drop The Books mode and agrees to go. But the tone of her "Ok" wasn't pleasing to DTB and he snaps back with a WHAT? I thought you liked Lord of the Rings.

No, I think you misheard the girl. What she actually said was "I want to see your genitals crushed with a lawnmower 100 times so you can never reproduce or have sex with Lorelai again" Oh, that was me, sorry.

Love Rory in this moment. Here's your crown, your majesty 👑

.......

Who could have ever predicted the answer to that question, huh. Dean is a sub-humanoid butt astronaut. Jess Mariano would NEVER just sit back and watch as Rory walked around struggling to carry things.

Oh god, it's all down hill from here people. The bracelet has escaped. I repeat, the bracelet has escaped.

DTBF: Where's your bracelet? You're not wearing your bracelet. Where is it? R: I took it off. DTBF: Why? R: Because I got a rash. Well, that's what happens when you wear a bracelet made out of a quarter on a string. Who knows what sorts of bacteria were lurking in the payphone that Dean fished it out of?

Simpsons and Gilmore Girls are such a winning combination. Rory looks terrified at how Dean might potentially react to her losing some cheap ass gumball machine bracelet. How would he react if she actually lost a gift worth more than 25 cents? (irrelevant, he would never gift her anything worth more than that). Joke's on her, it's going to be her Mom who really loses her shit about the cereal box bracelet.

Oh this does not sound good. "You go browse the astronomy section, we'll see Lord of the Rings and then watch Autumn in New York later and mock it all afternoon." Lord Of The Rings, Fellowship of the Rings: 2hr 58 minutes Autumn in New York: 1hr 43 minutes Browsing the Astronomy Section, Possibly To Research What Distant Black Hole Her Boyfriend Emerged From: 5-10 minutes probably. In the Dean the Butt universe, everything benefits him in the end. Me, me, me. Sure he was married, but I'll say this about Rory, still kinda proud of her that she makes him wait over four years until she finally put out. If he was a little nicer maybe Rory would at least give him a handy or even two during the 3 hour movie. (ps, where did they go to watch AINY if Lorelai was at home with Jess? Did poor Rory get stuck spending the afternoon in the Forrester living room, with Clara interrupting and Dean's parents in the next room audibly discussing with one another how their son was an unfortunate accident that should have been left at the local Safe Haven unwanted infant drop off, and now Rory can't even hear the movie?) Rory agrees to this "deal" just to shut Dean up, a deal which benefits her in no way whatsoever.

A double dose of nightmare fuel for ya'll so you can suffer alongside me. When you have to say "I'm not bored" to convince someone you're not bored... Moments ago Kirk was haggling with Gypsy over saving a nickel on a used book for charity and Kirk still comes out looking like a shrewder bargainer than Dean.

You know, it's a good thing they serve nutritious lunches at Chilton (even if Rory only chooses to eat two slices of white bread most of the time) and that there are restaurants nearby who cater to the Gilmores even though they never pay for their food, because otherwise Lorelai's child would be subsisting on a diet of Ragu sauce, salsa, Triscuit, and Coke (with lemon). I guess it's marginally better than what Jess would find when he opened Liz's fridge as a child. Roaches and empty promises. Now you're sad. I'm taking you all down with me on this sinking ship of an episode, damn it. My will to live watching another one of these DALA (Dean And Lorelai Affair/Dean And Lorelai are Assholes/ Dean And Lorelai are having Anal sex with each other) episodes is kind of like the Titan submersible. Quickly imploded after a short descent. Nothing remaining. Mere atoms scattered into vast nothingness. Gone. It's so much worse when you've seen the show multiple times and already know that Lorelai's "goodwill" towards Jess in the next scene goes down as quickly as Lorelai goes down on Dean after he helps her change her water dispenser. We see Lor looking around and listening suspiciously, as Lorelais do when Jesses are in their house. Not hearing any sounds of gutter-slopping, she slips outside.

This whole god damn episode exists because this smol infant just had to pick up that fucking quarter on a string. Why didn't you leave it on the bridge or return it Rory?! Why Jesstopher, why? I hate you right now. Your actions have consequences! People (me) are in pain. Don't you even care? Lorelai: Jess? Jess to Lorelai who treats him like shit: I'm sorry, was I being too loud? Stop being so nice. Ugh. Lorelai offers Jess some cold crappy leftovers. Figuring she probably put arsenic in his take out container, he politely declines, but then a second later he changes his mind, probably figuring death by eggroll sounds more peaceful than continuing to slop this bitch's gutters all afternoon.

Do you ever just want to get inside Jess Mariano's mind? I desperately want to know what he's thinking here after Lorelai says she and Rory ordered every chicken item on the Chinese restaurant menu in one night. I'm just saying, that "ambitious" is loaded.

Lorelai gets out the special plates reserved for special Poisoning occasions.

I'm probably the only person who gets a small chuckle every time Jess is offered meat (see also: a hot dog) knowing Milo Ventimiglia is a lifelong vegetarian, so I like to pretend Jess is a vegetarian as well.

L: "We have Garlic chicken, kung pao chicken, Szechuan chicken, chicken in brown sauce." All those poor chickens gave their lives just to end up feeding Lorelai Gilmore, isn't that a pity. (PETA, pay me for your new slogan). L to J: This chicken has these hot peppers in them, if you eat them, you'll die.

But enough about your fantasies again, Lorelai. Jess politely accepts some food, offers to wash his hands before eating, gently chides Lorelai about how the Gilmores neglect their basic nutrition and home repairs, suggests he found a bumper sticker from the 1950's in her gutter, all in good fun, proceeds to have a perfectly nice if awkward conversation with this bitch who doesn't deserve it. We know Lorelai is going to erase the memory of this impeccably polite behavior from her mind in a few moments after Braceletgate gets underway. Sorry Jess, you can't win. You try to be nice, she tries to poison your food, and failing that screams at you for taking her daughter's quarter on a string given to her by a Butt named Dean. 14 years later she's married into your family and still saying someone should throw a football at your face. Not even worth trying to curry her favor. Just be yourself, hunny.

Just admiring his gigantic watch. #AdmireTheBaby #ThePeppersAreTainted

#AdmireTheBaby Lorelai plays "Geting to know Jess" and we find out some obvious things. School is "still there" and he's not involved in any after school activities and he would like to throw a ball at an athlete's head. Well, of course he has no extra cirriculars. He spends all of his free time being underpaid by his uncle to work in the diner. What extra cirriculars do you think Jess might enjoy? Let me know in the replies.

It's okay, my little socially anxious baby, we still love you. I won't ever make a "Wow this thing knows how to talk" Lorelai-style remark. I can promise you that. I've been on the end of those comments and they hurt. I love seeing Milo eat with his crooked lip. Yes, I feel bad for him, after he said half his mouth is scar tissue from biting his lip so much while trying to eat, and he doesn't even feel it anymore. That being said, I still love him eating food vertically like he's gonna deep throat it. Egg rolls, hot dogs, popsicles and string cheese. The Milo is about to feast. Let's watch.

Beautiful end to this part of my recap. CHOMP! To be continued.

[faela404]

☆ The Library ☆

kazuha x gn! reader

prompt: - you and kazuha attend the same university, him being a english lit major and you being a person in stem😎 your paths never crossed until that day in the library…

*this is an smau so please do expect a lot of twitter posts and messages to read, there will be proper writing too but, it will mostly be that!!*

warning! just a lot of writing

masterlist - prev | next

☆ you’re late. ☆

10:57pm

this is it! today marks the first day of kazuha and i working together to finish our own projects, and im already running late.

i’m not so sure how much help i can be to his assignment, i barely remember anything from high school english. i’ll try my best though!

god, i hope he’s good at cleaning or i’m never going to get this finished.

however, all of that will be down the drain if i don’t hurry up and get there.

this really is on brand for me at this point, being late got me stuck cleaning the library in the first place and being late’s going to be the thing that stops me from getting any help cleaning it.

11:17pm

great, 20 minutes late. i really hope he isn’t angry with me.

he’s seems like a pretty chill guy, but even chill guys can loose their cool.

carefully, i step into the cold library, only to be met by complete silence.

oh god what if he’s left already? my brain swirls with a hundred notions and questions to explain this deafening silence, until i’m ripped from my own thoughts by his beautiful voice.

“you’re late” he called to me from his seat. he was tucked away in a tiny nook in between the book cases. no wonder i didn’t see him at first.

“i’m so sorry, i had a nap and woke up later than i was meant too, i had to rush to get ready-“ i began rambling on until i was cut off again, by a small laugh.

he was laughing at me, he wasn’t mad.

“it’s quite alright, let’s get started shall we? i figured i’d start cleaning while you familiarise yourself with the topic and materials for my assignment. sound like a plan?” he gestured towards the seat he was previously occupying as he began walking towards my cleaning equipment.

“haha, yeah that sounds like a plan” i sat down and began reading over everything: his assignment brief, the blurbs of all the books he had read for it, the parts of the assignment he had done.

from what i can gather, his assignment is on shakespeare and why his writing style fit so well for his time. he had to write atleast 10 pages on said topic along while including annotated texts from each book used. kazuha decided he would use romeo and juliet and macbeth as his main focuses. they’re quite basic choices but that makes it easier for me i suppose.

after familiarising myself with the topic of his assignment enough that i could be of some help, i turned to beckon kazuha over, only to find he had already cleaned half of a whole section of the library.

holy shit, this is gonna go by so fast.

12:46am

we’d been working on his assignment for over and hour now with us finally finishing his 6th page. it didn’t take too long to pack up our things and make our way towards the entrance of the library.

slipping out into the cold winter air, we began walking together towards my dorm.

“you really don’t have to walk me back, kazuha”

“i know, but it’s the least i can do after you helped me today” he sent a small smile my way.

“besides, it’s in a similar direction to my car so it won’t take me much longer to get to my apartment”

oh so he’s rich rich, got it.

“oh right, i forgot you don’t live on campus”

this felt nice, he’s a really kind person so i’m glad we get to talk like this.

after a few more minutes of mindless chatting, we arrived infront of my dorms.

“thank you for walking me back kazuha, i really appreciate it” i smiled at him as i began to turn towards the entrance of my dorms.

until i feel his hand wrap around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

“wait, y/n” he mumbles.

is something wrong? did i do something? i look towards him, confused.

“would it be okay if i got your number?” he met my eyes. god his eyes look so beautiful in this light, i can see the hints of a brighter red swirling through them like the autumn leaves floating to the ground.

“of course you can kazuha, that way i can let you know when im gonna be late, haha” i pull out my phone in order to exchange numbers with the man infront of me.

“haha yeah of course” he shoots me a smile as he types his number in my phone.

we swapped our phones back before bidding eachother goodnight. i watch as he walks away towards the carpark before finally retreating into my dorms.

1:16am

i feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

a/n - when theres only one piece of social media stuff in an smau-

no but really, i hope ya’ll enjoyed this chapter! they’re progressinggggggg so proud of them-

i also wrote most of this with my cat just laying on my shoulder and neck-

thank you all for the continued support on this series and please remember to take care of yourself <3

taglist - open! @kazuhaprnt @ryhie @scaraapologist @thissoulisnotok @kazuhalvrr @rifran @sleepyhamster1001 @mccnstruck @micahmxi @whipped-for-fictionals @sashiette @kozumieee @lazy-sanns @mangobee @lez-zuha @kaoyamamegami @hedonesstuff @oliver-s-worlds @phoenix-eclipses @lisaslittle-helper

bold= blog not found

[lollytea]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Mar tagged me in this. Thank you Mar <333

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

358,837

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Owls....for now and the foreseeable future. Other things in the past but....owls. Owls and nothing else.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There's Sunshine in Your Smile

Atlas and the Avid Reader

A Little Change

An Exercise in Understanding

Girl Talk

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I don't, I'm sorry!! When I first started posting on ao3, I answered every comment I got, but as more came in, I realized I was running out of ways to respond and it felt like I was just copy and pasting "thank you so much omg!!!" again and again and it felt awkward and disingenuous. (I meant it tho!! I did!!)

Also I never have any idea how to respond to long essay type comments that were picking the fic apart and highlighting everything they like about it. I ADORE those comments!!! They make me happier than anything else on earth but HOW can I respond to them?? A one liner thanks feels cheap and meaningless, but a long ramble about my own stuff feels arrogant.

So I just stopped replying to comments altogether. But listen please listen!!! I do read them!!! I read every single one of them and I love and appreciate them with all my heart!!! Thank you so so SO much to anybody who's ever left a comment on anything I've written!!!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings. I guess atlas and pages both ended on a bit of a bittersweet note? Maybe.

That one ducktales fic Fearless left off on a kinda angsty cliffhanger, only because I never finished it. So it's technically an ending

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Man I dunno most of them are kinda open ended (or unfinished) I suppose A Little Change ended on a sickeningly sweet note. Like disgustingly sweet (because I was 19 and stupid and had no concept of subtlety) Penniless Promises ended with a marriage proposal.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No the only hate comment I've ever gotten is this one

It kinda annoys me. I consider your first hate comment to be a special milestone in your fanfic writing history. I've been waiting years for this. And then I FINALLY get it but I have no fucking idea what it means.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written bits and pieces over the years but I don't post any of it. I think the last "smut" I posted was weird werewolf knotting shit in like 2017

What kind? Fuckin uhhhhh. It's always very fluffy. Usually there's nothing weird going on. Sometimes there's monsters involved but the monsters are usually massive sweethearts who just want love.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. A few times. And it's always fucking wattpad. At one point, somebody put my fic through Google translate and reposted it in Spanish. I would have been completely unaware if somebody hadn't messaged me about it.

The process of getting them to take it down was a fucking circus. Their ability to use Google translate suddenly vanished the moment I contacted them.

I reported it and had to go back and forth with Wattpad support because the fic was IN SPANISH, so they just kinda glanced at it and were like "This is not the same thing that you wrote. These are different words. Spanish words." I was losing my MIND!!!!!!

They took it down eventually. Anyway...sorry I went on a tangent, I just think this is a funny story. Moral of the story is there are probably several stolen fics on wattpad and run through translators, and we have no idea. There might be more of mine on there but honestly I do not have the energy to be monitoring the stupid site. I hate wattpad so much its unreal.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

As we have just learned from the above story, yes :D!!

But also yeah, some people asked permission to translate my stuff and post it with credit. Sunshine has been translated into Spanish and Ukrainian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No I can barely manage to write them myself

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Undocumented Events of March 23rd. I might update it at some point in the next five years. But I had so many chapters planned that it will probably never reach the ending at the pace I'm going with it. But I love the jungle book husbands. I get back to them at some point in time

16. What are your writing strengths?

Word disease is the worst fucking thing ever but it CAN be a good thing in some circumstances. A huge meaty chunk of a fic. Something to dig into. Having a lot to say can lead to a lot to write. And the more you write, the more likely you'll get some quality stuff in there.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I repeat. Word disease is the worst fucking thing ever. And when it's coupled with a complexity addiction, UGGH!!! It's a blight on my life. I can't just write a simple straightforward fic, without getting carried away and the ideas just get bigger and bigger. Suddenly I'm implementing more elaborate concepts, scenes that need to be handled delicately. Everything takes absolutely all of my brainpower because I'm a neurotic overthinker who can never just RELAX and write something fun. And I WANT all of it. I want to execute all the plans that exist in my head but then I get overwhelmed by how big and complicated everything has gotten and I get burned out. Which is why things so rarely get done.

I'm a perfectionist. A horrible terrible one. I struggle to write ANYTHING without carefully constructing every individual line of it. Which makes progress so slow and tedious. I get scared to even START fics because I'm afraid I'll make myself feel awful again if they don't turn out good.

My grammar is very imperfect but I'm working on that.

I can be very unnecessarily wordy and take forever to get to the point. I've reread my own stuff and even I have difficulty following it because the sentences just have so many bells and whistles for no good reason. I completely forget a huge chunk of vocab and don't realize they are simpler way to phrase things.

My attempts at executing believable emotional scenes often fall kinda flat. Writing drama is hard but I'm amazed by some people's capability to master it so I'm chipping away at it, hoping to get better.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't really have any thoughts at all about them. Literally none.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'd like to say it was Trolls but it was actually Hetalia when I was like 14. But I do everything within my power to distance myself from Hetalia, so I like to say it doesn't count. But....need to be honest.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Currently, at this point that I am at, the ones I used to be the most proud of now feel like they were a waste of time. I'm sure that will change again in a few months. How I feel about my own stuff is never consistent. The way that this question is phrased implies a forever favourite. Something I loved then, I love now and will love in future, and that is just never the case.

But also I don't wanna be an Eeyore about it, so I'll say a trance, a dance, a romance perchance?

I really do love my fairy Willow. She's so special to me :D!!

Tagging: after writing this whole post, I now feel very weird tagging people specifically and being like "HEY YOU! Look at this post I made <33" This is like a don't look at me post. BUT I do have lots of writer mutuals. And writer followers. If you're one of them and you see this....you!!!! Tag youre it!!!!

[whatgaviiformes]

Tracy Seaside: the Playlist

*waves* Author here! There are only a few more chapters left, but even where we are now, Tracy Seaside Orchard and Farm (TSOF) was a hell of a ride - probably as much for me as it was for you, I promise. What started as a cute Stardew Valley ficlet expanded into a whole story concept, then once I started thinking about why Gordon would be on a farm alone, it all went downhill from there. It has its moments of angst and despair, but there’s hope too. Hope and love and rebuilding, and heart.  And I hope you’re enjoying journey even though I know it hurt to get there. I’ll admit I am loathe to leave the farm; I feel like there may be some more stories there yet. 

As with all things, I pull inspiration from everywhere, and music most especially helps me evoke the layered emotions on the page. Unlike some of my other stories, TSOF’s soundtrack was inspired by lyrics - songs about heartbreak, about loss, about reinventing. I’ve collected them here for you, and rather than telling you why I picked them, I’ll let the songs speak for themselves. 

Just like in the story, there is a movement as this one progress, but human emotions are complex, and not so linear, with ups and downs. 

Genre will lean toward Indie or Singer/Songwriter for this one. Expect some banjo :D Song Count - 20 Length - 1 hr 15 min

Full Spotify Playlist Here Other story playlists: Here I’ve added the individual youtube links below for you as well.

1. “I Don’t Like Myself” - Imagine Dragons | YT I'll walk through fire for this / I will be the one to turn this car around / 'Cause it's headed for disaster / No happily ever after / And I've got so much more to live for / Than what you think of me

2. “Wildflowers” - Tom Petty | YT You belong among the wildflowers / You belong in a boat out at sea/ Sail away, kill off the hours / You belong somewhere you feel free

3. “I Lost a Friend” - FINNEAS | YT I know I'll be alright / But I'm not tonight / I'll be lying awake / Countin' all the mistakes I've made / Replayin' fights / I know I'll be alright / But I'm not tonight / I'm on the mend, but I lost a friend

4. “Keep” - Mother Mother | YT I'll keep breaking / I'll keep breaking my heart / Until it opens again / Yeah, I'll keep falling / I'll keep falling apart / Until I'm whole again [Note -  these are almost directly quoted by Gordon within the story]

5. “Rivers and Roads” - The Head and the Heart | YT Been talkin' 'bout the way things change / And my family lives in a different state If you don't know what to make of this / Then we will not relate

6. “Hello My Old Heart” - The Oh Hellos | YT Hello, my old heart / How have you been? / How is it being locked away? Don't you worry, in there you're safe / And it's true, you'll never beat / But you'll never break 7. “Beautiful Dawn” - The Wailin’ Jennys YT Teach me how to see when I close my eyes / Teach me to forgive and to apologize / Show me how to love in the darkest dark / There's only one way to mend a broken heart

8. “It’s Alright” - Mother Mother | YT It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay / You're not a monster, just a human And you made a few mistakes / It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay /You're not gruesome, just human / And you made a few mistakes

9. “The World Spins Madly On” - The Weepies | YT I thought of you and where you'd gone / And let the world spin madly on

10. “sail away” - lovelytheband | YT sail away / Sometimes I really wanna sail away / Leave all those things I did in yesterday / Is there a place I can stay? /Sometimes I really wanna sail away

11. “Out Loud” - Dispatch | YT And if we were walkin’ down a dead-end street / Would you be the one to let our eyes meet? / Or would you just keep on walking down to the turnaround? / 'Cause you know I'd be proud / If you'd call my name out loud

12. “Hopeless Wanderer” - Mumford & Sons | YT And I will remember the words that you said / Left a clouded mind and a heavy heart / But I am sure we could see a new start / So when your hopes on fire / But you know your desire / Don't hold a glass over the flame / Don't let your heart grow cold / I will call you by name / I will share your road

13.  “Lost in my Mind” - The Head and the Heart | YT  Is that bridge gettin' built? / Are your hands gettin' filled? / Won't you tell me, my brother? / 'Cause there are stars up above / We can start moving forward

14.“Hold Onto Your Soul” - We Banjo 3 | YT Hold up your head and find your way home / And know you can make it, you're never alone / Follow the light that guides you from here / Leave with your heart, banish the fear / Hold up your head, they're on the right road

15. “Happiness” - We Banjo 3 | YT it rains and rains and rains and / Rains and rains and rains for days./ You wake up one bright morning all the rain has gone away, / Sun is on the horizon. / Happiness is just around the corner

19. “The Tide” - The Lonely Heartstring Band | YT Though many years have passed, I've not forgotten why you pushed away But as sure as night will turn to day / So my love will be / keeping me running homeward / drifting upward/Will you meet me with the tide

16. “Grow as We Go” - Ben Platt | YT You won't be the only one / I am unfinished, I've got so much left to learn /I don't know how this river runs / But I'd like the company through every twist and turn / Ooh, who said it's true / That the growing only happens on your own? 17. “OK” -  Canyon City | YT  Hey, I'm not okay, but I'm better than I was / Say, it's been some day laying out here when the sun /  Stays long 'til it's late and the colors we become / Hang, lingering and fade / In some time it comes back up

[I couldn’t find  “OK” on their main channel, so also check out their work here. I’ve linked to a song called “Stardust” some of you fellow John fans may love” https://youtu.be/W0VeQUK4YT8 ]

18. “Don’t Let Me” - Morningsiders | YT Oh brother, where are you? /  I think I need a hand / Can you come pick me up? Don't know where I am /  Bet I can tell it's not / Where I want to be / Oh brother, help me out / Keep your eye on me 20. “Brother” - NEEDTOBREATHE (feat. Gavin DeGraw) | YT Face down in the desert now / There's a cage locked around my heart / I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were / Now my hands can't reach that far I ain't made for a rivalry / I could never take the world alone / I know that in my weakness I am strong / But it's your love that brings me home

[svld99]

So I knew going into the red white and royal blue movie. I knew that it wouldn’t  be that accurate to the book because you can’t do that in a two hour long movie the only Way they would have been able  to do that is if they would have done a mini series. In my personal opinion Taylor and Nicolas were perfectly cast. They are exactly how I pictured  Henry and Alex. I honestly loved the movie and some of the changes were amazing. Now I will say they were parts of the movie. I did not enjoy because they changed it from the book or it was not in the book but here is my list of. 23 things I loved and hated about the movie but I will honestly watch it again just like a re-read the book the only thing I would’ve changed I would have you know maybe ended it with the bonus chapters that are in Henry’s point of you just because I would have loved to have seen them end with the wedding. But you never know maybe will get a second movie based off those 16 pages. 

1. No June

2.No queen

3. no, White House trio quizzing over facts about Prince Henry. 

4. Henry and Alex meeting at a conference instead of the Olympics.

5. Oscar and Elaine still being married and not divorced 

6. Alex, coming out to Nora in their conversation I love how it did kind of stayed to the book 

7. The get low scene at the New Year’s Eve party. It is everything I pictured it to be from the book. The only thing is I wish they would’ve had June.

8. their first kiss was amazing. It was everything I wanted it to be. 

9. The red room sene was everything I needed it to be the only thing I would have add was Henry humming god save the Queen or in this case god save the king

10. The polo match and Paris is perfect

11.Henry last name change I understand why they did it

12. Their conversation in bed when Alex tells Henry about his father coming to America it was beautiful and unexpected

13. Alex being sent to Texas is amazing to help Elaine get elected. I wish this would’ve been in the book. 

14. Henry and Alex meet up in the New York hotel after the democratic convention was amazing

15. Zara walking in on Henry and Alex in the hotel room was amazing and everything I wanted it to be and more

16. Getting Henry thoughts after he left the lake house and seeing into his world

17.The storming of the castle and Henry explaining how his family would not support him

18.Henry and Alex going to the Victoria and Albert Museum, and I love how they changed the song from Elton John’s  your song to Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Perfume Genius. It honestly fits better

19. history huh? I bet we could make some.  that is my favorite line from the book and I am so glad it was included. 

20. The blending of my country ‘tis of faith in God, save the King. was absolutely beautiful

21. The meeting between the king and the rest of the royal family and Alex then for the two of them to walk out onto the balcony

22. Henry and Alex holding hands during Ellen victory speech

23. The bicycle ride to the house was everything I wanted

[yveni]

Just a vent, sort of?

Idk but long post incoming, I just felt like rambling.

So, I had to take a few days to step away from this blog. I was spiraling, and I was spiraling quick, I needed the time to find peace with God and with myself again. I hadn’t realized just how attached I have become to this show, and the cancellation news hit me more than any other show has (I was there for Julie and the Phantoms and Anne With An E, I love both shows, but boy oh boy apparently not like this.) After many bouts of weeping and anger, I was reminded again that Jesus is the only thing that’s everlasting (if you didn’t notice the ‘follower of Christ’ thing on my page, surprise?? I guess). Anyway, I was down bad for a bit there. 

This story, the whole Lockwood and Co family, has become my favorite book series and favorite TV show. I’ve never been able to confidently say something is my favorite without changing my mind every 10 seconds. 

This is the most involved in a fanbase I think I have ever been. I’m writing again! And it’s not just fics, I’m now approximately 3 chapters and many random snippets into the book/comic I’ve been planning on making since I was 14! This show sparked up my creativity again, and I think I’ll always hold it special to me because of that.

And I’m not giving up on it! The little bit that I have been on social media the past few days, I have seen everyone fighting for the show!! I left some random comments on instagram, letting people know about the watch party, posted the drawing I did of Lucy to my art instagram, where I try to not post fanart, but maybe someone will watch the show because of it. 

Something fun I’m discovering about myself is that I am stubborn, and I fight pretty hard for things. This fanbase is fighting super hard too, I see it, I’m pretty positive the people we need to see it are going to see it too. I haven’t given up hope yet, and I’m really glad others haven’t either. Joe Cornish’s post about it (the one where he lists all the proof of how well it did) makes me think he hasn’t given up either, idk why, it’s just the vibes. 

Whatever happens, I am so glad to see us fight like this. I’m glad that Jonathan Stroud can see just how much love there is for his characters, I’m glad the actors can see how amazing we all think they did. 

I’m glad I decided to get involved in this fanbase. It’s been a whole lot of fun. The fics, the headcanons, the fanart, the HUMOR, y’all, I love everybody so much. 

If you’re like me, and you’ve been doing a whole lot of crying, don’t forget to drink water. Everyone, please take time to take care of yourself too, it’s important.

Also, don’t forget about the watch party!! May 20-21st!!!! Top 10 is the goal, but how great will it be to dethrone Queen Charlotte??? I want to see Anthony Lockwood’s face at that number one spot again, he deserves it (and we all know he loves it there). If Bridgerton can find its way back into the Top 10 with no new season, so can we.

Um, vent over, God bless.

[ambrosiafm]

just added a few connections to the page ! we've got a romantic turned enemies, a second chance at romance, like-siblings / mentees + an enemies to friends !!

willow blair, our courtney eaton fc is looking for a former relationship (romantic turned enemies-ish). they should be 25 and look like utp. han (buglikeanangel on dis.cord) does not require to be contacted prior.    [    they dated when willow was living at camp halfblood. prior to them dating, willow believed them to be good friends -- they were the only friend she managed to make when she left the underworld. she's an offputting gal, it's hard being the coolest, weird girl people have ever met < 3 anyways !! so they date but it ends badly. very 10 things i hate about you where this char was dared/bet to date her to "fix" her kind of thing? somewhere along those lines? for a friend? idk! but the intentions weren't innocent or genuine at first. of course, the two of them fall for each other and willow is absolutelyyyy smitten with them. but she finds out and is both mortified and embarassed. they haven't spoken in years, most likely. it could've been why willow left chb.    ]

calliope garcia, our rachel zegler is looking for a second chance romance (romantic). they should be 24-26 and look like josh andres rivera, tom blyth, halle bailey, lizeth selene, utp. bambi (bambiseyes on discor,,,d) does require to be contacted prior.    [  okay okay let me set the scene…childhood sweethearts, met at camp half-blood, maybe when y/m & calli were both unclaimed. someone calli loved so much but obviously nothing could happen because she joined the hunt…seeing each other during visits and missing each other and then !!! maybe almost rekindling before the war/the immediate aftermath and then BOOM !!! she’s gone again. do you see my vision do you see the potential. ok thank you end scene ]

willow blair, our courtney eaton fc is looking for a enemies turned friends (platonic). they should be 20s and look like utp. han (.buglikeanangel on d.iscord) does not require to be contacted prior.    [    they were enemies during their chb days -- this person is kind of like clarisse, in a way? probably hated willow because of being a big 3 / hades kid and thus more powerful? idk? we can discuss a genuine way for them to hate each other. i think they really began to be friends during/around/after the war. things were really different. maybe they did a quest together and had to rely on each other? (': either way, they're really good friends now and willow would consider them their best friend, then again she doesn't have a good track record with friends and keeping them, so who knows what could happen.     ]

atticus petrakis, our jeremy allen white fc is looking for a mentee / younger sibling type vibe (platonic) (open to multiple tbh). they should be 21-27 and look like any fc. han (.buglikeanangel on d.iscord) does not require to be contacted prior.    [    atticus is older brother shaped, he doesn't know what else to be aside for someone's older brother that they can lean on at any possible moment. they'd be from camp jupiter, could very well be a child of jupiter too but any parent works. getting to jupiter was complicated and messy, as he "lost" his siblings so becoming this figure at jupiter was a way for him to replicate those feelings of being needed and being useful. he cares about all the kids so much!! he's just!! ugh. loves family.     ]

[mondaysjournal]

6/10/2023 - One Hundred Billion Stars

Forever is one of those strange concepts that we have a word for but can't personally experience. In a technical sense it's "until the end of time;" that's something we won't be around for. So when we use it, it means something completely different based on the context. Forever is how long I had to wait until you came into my life the way you did. It's how long those three months you were here felt. It's how long the last full day I spent with you was. It's how long I have to wait to see you again. And it's how much time I want to spend with you. It's unfortunate that it can't be until the end of time, but I can settle for a little bit less than that.

Not much happened this week. On tuesday, I drove to albany for the symposium. Traffic on the way there as well as the brightness of the day made it kind of hard to drive, but on the way back since it was so late, the lack of traffic and darkness made it much easier. I gave Mr. Bott a focaccia, which he could not eat, but he said that his children and parents enjoyed it. The symposium itself was nice. I hope you can come to it next year. I want Mr. Bott to meet you, since you're so important to me. He's important in the sense that he's probably the closest thing to a father figure that I had in high school, while not quite getting there. I didn't disobey him enough for that to be the reality. You'd understand why some aspects of me are the way they are if you had a brief conversation with him.

I didn't go anywhere else this week, other than magic club. I lost two games and then won with rem karolus doing a heartless hidetsugu + furnace of rath combo. I like quick games. I also ordered the parts for shelob a few days ago, after I saw an article reporting huge price spikes on arachnogenesis. I think I was right to do so, because there were five copies of it on hareruya before and only one left when I placed my order. It's cheaper than the previous few decks I've made, I think. Not exactly a surprise since it's a tribal deck where most of the tribal cards are just random 2/3s for 3 with reach. The most expensive part is the landbase. It's definitely something I'm going to tinker with more over time. Other than that, I ended up finishing the latest randomized elden ring run with lint. And this morning I woke up early to go see one of the apartments you told me to email about, but I'll tell you about that more when we talk. We're running out of rice and chili powder so I might have to go get some tomorrow.

I don't really have anything else to look forward to doing at the moment, since the symposium was that one thing. I guess this is just how things were before you, but in your shadow it all seems more boring. I started reading the book you told me to read, but I'm only about 20 pages in since I get distracted easily. Once I'm actually further in, I'll start writing about it in earnest. I'll find something to do. I started cleaning around here more, since I feel guilty about not doing that enough. But I know there has to be more here than playing games and cleaning and making food. I might visit david at some point, but who knows if that will actually happen...really it's up to him to decide if he has the time. But yeah, I'll figure something out. I know you wouldn't want me to feel sad and bored here.

I love you, princess. I hope we can talk soon. You bring so much joy into my life.

[ribbononline]

wawawa wip posting

HIGH quality stuff in the works here. i love drawing archie making faces <3

[americasass91]

The Shield and the Sweater

Hello lovelies! This little fic came to me when the lovely, beautiful, talented @stargazingfangirl18​ asked a very important question on her blog. Would you rather be enemies to lovers with Steve Rogers or friends with benefits with Ransom Drysdale. Well my greedy ass wanted both. Thus the birth of this story. I also turned it around a little to make it fit into Siri’s 5k Soft Dark Challenge! I’ve never written anything dark before. Also not sure if this classifies as soft!dark or if it’s more dark. But it’s one of those! If that makes you uncomfortable, then please don’t read it. This is also my first time writing a threesome, so let me know if it sucks! I hope you enjoy it! 😘

General prompts:

8)The town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

Dialogue prompts:

3)”Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

11)”I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

Rating: Explicit(if you’re under 18, please leave)

Words: 6.2k(this one got away from me, sorry)

Warnings: soft!dark/dark themes, unprotected sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, threesome(M/M/F), manipulation, language, model!Ransom being an asshole, Steve not being who you think he is

“And I really think if everyone pitches in to make these changes, it’ll really make a difference in the long run.”

Wow, so this is how you were going to die. In your whole 20 something years of existence, you never thought boredom would be your cause of death.

Sure, you were the lead Accountant at Stark Tower and these monthly meetings were mandatory. But did you really have to be here to listen to Rogers go on and on about how we can ‘improve our working environment’? Why did he even care anyway? He was barely ever here as it is.

You must have been zoning out worse than you thought because next thing you know your coworker, Janet, is poking you in the side and pointing towards Steve.

With a quick glare sent her way, you move your gaze to the Captain. He is giving you the same look he always does. Like he’s disgusted with you. “I’m sorry Miss Y/L/N. Am I boring you?”

A scoff escapes your mouth. “No, not at all Captain Rogers. I just love when people who are never here seem to always have an opinion on how things are run and how they could be better.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Do you have a problem with me, Y/N? Cause if you do, I’m sure there’s a way to solve that.”

You stand up and match his expression. You lean forward with your hands resting on the table. You can’t help but notice the Captain drops his gaze to your cleavage that’s now on more display than before. But just as quick as it was there, his gaze rises back up to meet your face. “Is that a threat, Captain Rogers?”

“Oh, it’s more than a-“

Tony quickly stands up and claps his hands together. “Okay! Meeting adjourned! You two, come here!”

You quickly straighten yourself up and make your way over to Tony. You always try to make sure you show him as much respect as you can. He’s your boss after all.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. My emotions got the better of me. It won’t happen again.”

He nods to you. “Thank you, Y/N. I accept your apology. But what I’m not understanding is why Steve here wanted to fire you?”

You both turn to look at Steve who has a sheepish expression on his face. “Yeah, sorry about that, Tony. She just seems to bring out this ugly side of me. I’ll try to keep it more contained next time.” He then moves his gaze to you. “Sorry, Y/N. I promise to be more professional moving forward.”

He makes a quick exit, leaving you shocked that he apologized at all. Ever since you started here almost a year ago now, you’ve been at each other’s throats. It was your fault really.

It was your first week and you were in the break room grabbing some coffee when you overheard a few of your coworkers making fun of Steve for being a virgin. Now, you weren’t sure if it was true but you wanted to fit in so you made your way over to the group and asked if anyone calls him Captain Virgin. That earned you some big laughs. But the laughter died down quickly as Steve entered the room to grab some coffee. Judging by the glare he gave you, he heard what you had called him.

You went straight to Tony after that to apologize. You really didn’t want to get fired. But you wanted to make sure Tony heard the story from you before Steve got the chance to talk to him. To your utter surprise, Tony found the name hilarious and gave you a high five, saying you were going to fit right in.

Well long story short, it’s almost a year later and Steve is still getting called Captain Virgin. Oh but don’t worry, he has names of his own for you. His favorite is Tony’s Pet. For some reason, it really eats at you when he calls you that.

But the one thing you hate the most about Steve?

Is how utterly, hopelessly, and desperately attracted you are to the son of a bitch.

That happened in your second week when you went to use the complimentary gym and saw him beating the shit out of some poor punching bag. Your panties and your workout were definitely ruined after that.

The more you fought with Steve, the more you just wanted him to bend you over any surface and have his way with you.  

It was despicable how horny you were for him. You were pretty sure all he’d have to do is snap his fingers and point to the floor in front of him and you’d happily drop to your knees and take him down your throat.

So that left you leaving work every day in a horny state. You started by taking care of it yourself when you got home. But after a while even that wasn’t cutting it. Then you started bringing home one night stands. But after the 4th disappointing non-orgasm, you gave up and just learned to live with it.

Sure, you could attempt to start being nice to Steve and maybe ask him out. But you were pretty sure he hated you. Plus you have way too much pride to actually do that.

So that leads to now. It’s Friday night and your workday is almost over. You’re inputting the last few numbers from the last expense report in your pile.

You get the last number put in when Janet approaches you. She sits on the corner of your desk. “So, you coming tonight?”

You take your glasses off and lean back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “Coming where?”

She rolls her eyes at you. “Oh, come on Y/N! You know we go out almost every Friday night. You never come and you always say you will!”

You start to clear off your desk and put things back in their place. “Yeah well I could. Or I could go home and sit on my ass and do nothing.”

“Well, that explains why it’s looking a bit bigger lately.”

Janet’s jaw drops as she directs her gaze at Steve, who is now standing in front of your desk.

You smirk and lean on your elbows towards him. “You like looking at my ass, Rogers?”

He scoffs. “Well when it takes up that much space, it’s hard not to notice. But here, I came to give you this.”

He hands you what looks to be a 10 page expense report. “Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy, you know. Saving the world.”

You ungraciously take it from him and throw it in your to-do pile. “That can wait until Monday. I’ve got plans. We’re going to-” you look towards Janet for clarification. “Lavo.” You turn your gaze back to Steve. “Yeah, we’re going to Lavo. So this will wait til Monday if that’s okay with you, sir.”

Steve does his best to move his bag and jacket subtly towards the front of his pants so you won’t notice his growing hard-on. He hates how turned on he gets when you guys get into it. And then you call him sir? Jesus. He clears his throat. “Of course, I'm the one who turned it in at the last minute.”

Janet speaks up quickly. “You could always come with us! It’ll be fun!”

You grin widely at him. “Yeah! You could finally get your cherry popped, Captain Virgin.”

Steve can’t help the blush that covers his cheeks. “Uh, I can assure you my cherry has been popped since the 40’s. But thank you for your concern. And thank you for the invite, Janet. But i think I’ll stay in tonight.” He takes out his phone and sends a quick text before turning around and walking towards the elevators.

Wow. He didn’t even try to retaliate. You shrug your shoulders and grab your purse before standing up. “Alright, I’ll go! But on one condition!”

Janet claps her hands in excitement and starts walking with you towards the elevators. “Sure, anything!”

You press the button for the lobby. “You are going to be my wingwoman. Cause this girl definitely needs to get laid.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Lavo is super packed by the time you guys arrive. Of course you all had to go home and change.

You decided to go with a simple, yet effective, little black dress that showed off just enough to get men’s attention.

Thankfully you are able to score the last table. The waiter comes over and gets everyone’s drink order. You decide to stick with your favorite. You don’t want to get too drunk on the off chance you find someone to take home.

About a half hour into hot office gossip, Lucy, who is sitting across from you, taps your arm. You raise your eyebrows in question towards her.

She subtly nods her head towards the bar. “Okay I’m pretty sure the hottest guy I have ever seen is checking you out.”

You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face. “Yeah? Which one?”

“You can’t miss him. He’s fucking hot. Like no comparison to any of the other dudes sitting up there.”

You glance down at your drink and quickly finish the remainder. You stand up and adjust your dress, pushing up your breasts in the process. “Well, then I guess it’s time for a refill.” You wink and turn to make your way towards the bar.

It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. And boy was Lucy not kidding. He was fucking hot. Brown hair, blue eyes, and a smug smirk that would normally turn you off. But on him it worked. And who even looks that good in a fucking cream colored cable knit?

You go up to the bar, not too close to Mr. Hottie of course, and patiently wait for the bartender.

Hottie McHothot not so subtly moves his gaze up and down your body. He must like what he sees. “Hey honey, have you ever raised chickens?”

Uh. That’s definitely not the first thing you expected to come out of his mouth. You look over at him with confusion on your face. “Uh, no. Why do you ask?”

He just shrugs his shoulders. “Just kinda figured you might. Cause you sure can raise a cock.”

Okay, you’ve definitely never heard that line before. You crack up. You’re pretty sure you even snorted on accident. Once you collect yourself you ask, “Has that line ever worked for you?”

The bartender makes his way over to take your order. After reordering what you had before, you turn towards Hottie and wait for his answer.

“Not sure, my buddy told it to me yesterday so this is the first time I’m using it. Did it work?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. It was pretty cheesy.”

“Yeah, maybe. But it got you to laugh. So I’d say mission accomplished. Name’s Ransom. What’s yours, pretty girl?” He holds out his hand for you to shake.

Ransom. Now where have you heard that name before? You accept his hand shake. You can’t help but notice how much bigger his hands are than yours. Jesus. You could already feel your panties getting wet.

“My name’s Y/N. Ransom, that sounds familiar. Do I know you?”

He releases your hand and goes to take a sip of his bourbon. “Well, I guess that depends. Do you read magazines or have you seen the side of the city bus lately?”

You quickly wrack your brain. You don’t read many magazines. But the bus drives by you everyday on your walk to work. Holy shit! That’s it! He’s in his underwear on the side of the bus. You’ve drooled over that picture plenty of times.

“Oh, yeah! I remember now! I’ve seen you on the bus! What’s it an ad for? I can never really get past the almost naked man. A bit distracting on my way to work.”

He smirks as he briefly glances down at your breasts. “I’m glad you know my work. It’s an ad for Calvin Klein. For their new line of men’s briefs. Sorry I’ve been a distraction.” He sends you a wink.

Fuck. He was a model. And a popular one at that if he’s in an ad for Calvin Klein.

“I didn’t say I minded. You can make it up to me you know.” You wink back. Holy shit. Were you really flirting with a model?

“Yeah? Well, how about we get out of here and I’ll show you a fully naked man.”

Okay. Cheesy line number 2. Was that really going to work on you?

Yes.

Yes it was.

“Let me just go grab my purse.”

Drink forgotten, you go back to your table as quickly as you can without looking desperate. “Sorry, girls. But this is where I leave you.”

Janet glances down at her phone. “We haven’t even been here an hour yet! Where are you going?”

You send her a wink. “I’m leaving with that guy! You guys know him! Remember that ad on the side of the bus?”

They all turn their gaze to him. And they all make it very obvious. He just waves and sends them a smirk.

“Holy fucking shit! That’s the new Calvin Klein guy! Oh my god you lucky bitch!”

“Wait! Listen. We’ll let you go on one condition.”

You furrow your brows in confusion. “Okay?”

Janet gives you a naughty smirk. “On Monday I’ll need a report on if they had to stuff his briefs to get that delicious looking bulge or not.”

You give her a naughty smirk of your own. “I can totally do that.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Monday morning you were all smiles as you stepped off the elevator and headed towards your desk. You give Janet a wink as you pass by her. She quickly makes her way over just as you sit down. “Um, excuse me hoe. But is that the same dress you were wearing Friday night?”

You quickly grab the cardigan you always keep in your desk out and put it on and button it up, attempting to look a little more professional. “Maybe.”

Janet opens her mouth in shock. “You stayed the whole weekend with him? You little slut! How was it?”

You turn on your computer and grab for the expense report of Steve’s you left in your to-do pile. Then you turn towards your nosy coworker. “Well, if you must know, yes. I did stay the whole weekend with him. And I’m pretty sure I was in an orgasm-induced coma the whole time. It’s all kind of a rough, sticky, mind-blowing blur.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

You shrug your shoulders as you put in your login information on the computer. “I haven’t decided yet. While the sex was the best I’ve ever had, he’s kind of an ass. Talked about himself and all the famous people he’s hooked up with since becoming a model. I honestly kept initiating sex just to make him shut up.”

She gives you a look like you’re stupid. “I’m not seeing the issue here. So what if he talks about himself a lot? The sex was amazing. You need to lock that down girl.”

You roll your eyes at her. “That’s the thing, Janet. He doesn’t do relationships. He told me so multiple times. Plus I’m pretty sure he was texting another chick in between our ‘sessions’. I suppose if I’m desperate, I’ll get a hold of him.”

“You know you could always just have him on backup for sex. Like a friends with benefits situation.”

“Janet, I’m in my late 20s. I’m too old for that kind of relationship.”

“Exactly, you’re in your late 20s! This is the perfect time for that kind of relationship before you settle down and get married! Have one last final hoorah!”

“I can’t have this conversation before caffeine. I’m going to get coffee. You act like I’m dying soon or something.” You turn to walk away but then remember you were supposed to tell her something. “Oh yeah and by the way. The bulge is definitely not stuffed.”

You give her a wink and then head to the break room for some much needed coffee. When you see who’s in there, you almost contemplate going downstairs to a different break room.

Steve is standing at the counter, preparing his coffee. He turns when he hears you come in and gives you a once over. “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

You grab a mug out of the cabinet beside him. “Sorry my appearance isn’t up to your standards today, Rogers. I was a little...busy this weekend.”

He takes a sip of his coffee to make sure it’s right. Then he moves out of your way so you can get to the coffee, but still staying close. “Busy getting run over by a truck? Cause that’s kind of what you look like.”

You pour yourself a generous amount of coffee and take a long sip, letting the bitter liquid slowly make you human. “Yeah, well. I was busy getting fucked all weekend, Rogers. But I know your little innocent mind wouldn’t know what that’s like.”

That wipes the stupid little smirk right off his face. He almost looks pissed. He moves even closer to you. Almost pressing himself right up against you. So close that you can smell his coffee-scented breath. If you were wearing panties, they’d be ruined.

“Not all of us feel the need to sleep around. Some of us are looking for a real connection. Not just a one night stand of meaningless, mediocre sex.”

You press yourself just a little closer to him, his chest now touching yours. “Oh, it was anything but mediocre. Maybe if you actually got some, you’d know what that feels like.”

He leans his head down until his mouth is next to your ear, his left hand now resting on your hip. “You really need to stop insinuating that I’m a virgin sweetheart. If you were nicer to me, I’d show you that I know how to fuck.” With that he backs up and heads out of the break room.

You let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Jesus Christ. You swear you almost came.

And if you were nicer to him? Fuck him. He’s not nice to you either. That’s okay. You have someone who can scratch this itch.

You pull out your phone and send a quick text.

To: Fuckboi

You busy tonight? I could really use a release.

The reply came almost immediately.

From: Fuckboi

Didn’t get enough of my cock this weekend huh? I suppose I could make myself available.

You roll your eyes and quickly reply with your address and what time to be over.

The rest of the day passes by slowly. It takes you half the day to enter Steve’s expense report. God he’s descriptive. At least it’s completed. You can’t really say that much for the other Avengers. They usually half assed them and made them barely acceptable.

You are shutting down for the day when Steve approaches your desk. You remove your glasses and look at him expectantly. “Is there something I can help you with, Steve?”

A blush creeps it’s way across his cheeks. “Um, I was actually just wondering if you had time to go over the new expense report forms? They should be a lot easier to fill out.”

You glance down at the clock on your computer. Ransom is going to be at your place in about 20 minutes.“Can we do it tomorrow? I have company that’ll be showing up at my apartment in like 20 minutes.”

His hopeful smile falls. His face is now unreadable. “Would your company happen to be whoever you spent the weekend with?”

Confused, you grab for your purse after getting your computer shut down. “Actually, yes. Should I have asked your permission first?” You attempt a joke to ease the sudden tension.

He pulls out his phone and starts typing furiously. Wow. You weren’t aware he knew how to text. You hear it ping with a reply before he angrily puts it back in his pocket. “Sure, we can do this tomorrow. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of your whoreing around.”

Your jaw drops in surprise. Sure you guys were always throwing jabs at each other. But he’d never said anything like this before. And in such a mean tone.

You round your desk and stand right in front of him. “Fuck you, Steve.”

You hurry towards the elevators before he can see the tears that have welled up. You couldn’t let him know he had that power over you. Asshole. Thank god Ransom was coming over. Hopefully he could fuck what Steve just said right out of your head.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You’ve lost count of how many orgasms Ransom has pulled from you with his mouth when there’s a knock on your door.

Ransom looks up at you from his kneeling position on your living room floor. “Did you invite someone else to join us, pretty girl?”

You scoff and push him away so you can stand up. You pull your dress down as you make your way towards the door. “Yeah. I can barely handle just you. I’m pretty sure if we added someone else, I’d actually die.”

You open the door and gasp in surprise. “Steve? What are you doing here?”

He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Look, I know you probably already have company but I felt really bad about what I said to you earlier today and wanted to apologize.”

You have so many questions. “How did you know where I lived?”

That sheepish smile makes its appearance again. “I may or may not have looked in your employee file.”

You shake your head. “And you felt the need to come all the way here and apologize? Why not just text me?”

“It would only have felt right to me to do it in person. I really am sor-”

You feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Well, who do we have here? Why is Captain America at your door?”

You turn your head to address Ransom. “He just came by to apologize to me. I think he was just leaving.”

Steve has a disappointed look on his face. “Yeah, I suppose I was.”

“Awe, what a shame. I thought you were gonna ask him to join us, pretty girl.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide at the thought. You quickly speak up. “No, I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that. He’s a little old fashioned.” You give him a sincere smile. You didn't think that was a bad thing.

Steve looks back towards the elevators and then back to you. He clears his throat. “What if I wanted to join you?” Seeing your wide eyed look, he quickly adds, “Only if Y/N would be comfortable with that of course.”

You contemplate what the consequences could be in your head. But then you get distracted when Ransom starts grinding his hard on against your ass. “Come on, pretty girl. Make a decision.”

The next word comes out of your mouth faster than what your brain can process. “Okay.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Now you were standing awkwardly in your bedroom with Steve and Ransom looking at you expectantly.

You’ve never done this before so you’re not sure how this is supposed to go. “So, um. How do we start exactly?”

Ransom smirks and comes up behind you. “I think you should call the shots, pretty girl. If you’re okay with that, Steve?”

With the mention of his name, he walks towards you and places his hands on your hips. “I think that’s a great idea. Can I kiss you now?” He places his hand under your chin and raises your face up to meet his. “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” With that, his lips meet yours. It’s explosive. You quickly wrap your hands around his neck and press yourself up against him.

You get so lost in the kiss, you forget that Ransom is there. That is until he presses his lips against your neck and presses himself against your ass. It presses you even further against Steve, making you feel his excitement against your lower belly.

You’re so overwhelmed already and you’d barely started. You may not survive this evening.

As you move your hands down to remove Steve’s shirt, Ransom is unzipping your dress, pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin.

Without breaking the kiss, Steve moves his hands around to unhook your bra so he can get his hands on your breasts. He pinches your nipples, causing you to moan into his mouth. He moves his lips to your neck, sucking on your pulse point.

After successfully removing your dress, Ransom stands back up and turns your head to connect your lips. He starts rutting his clothed hard on against your naked ass. His left hand reaches around to bat one of Steve’s away so he can squeeze your breast.

Steve takes the hand that had been swatted away and moves it down to your soaking wet core. He starts lightly circling your clit. Just enough pressure to make you mewl.

You reach behind you with your left hand and tug at the waistband of Ransom’s briefs. “Off.” You moan out as you take your right hand and start attempting to take off Steve’s jeans. He smirks into your neck and helps you out. He barely gets them unbuttoned and unzipped before you’re reaching your hand into them and his boxers to grab his cock. It feels big.

Ransom grabs your left hand and places it on his now free cock. You wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze before you start pumping your hand up and down. You do the same to Steve’s, making the both of them let out grunts against both sides of your neck. Steve increases the pressure on your clit a little. Still not enough.

“Nee-need, you. Please.” You weakly moan out. Ransom moves his mouth up to your ear. “How do you want us, pretty girl?”

You reluctantly pull away from both of them so you can think. You decide to be greedy. You point to Steve. “I want you to lay on the bed, please.”

He does as you ask. Putting his hands behind his head as he awaits further instructions.

You get on the bed and straddle him. You turn around and reach your arm out for Ransom. “Want you behind me.” You lean over and open your bedside drawer to grab the lube and toss it at Ransom. He smirks as he straddles Steve’s legs and gets behind you. He uncaps the lube and starts coating his cock with a generous amount. “Need my cock in that ass, pretty girl?”

You hold up your hand. “Wait.” You lean down towards Steve and give him a quick kiss. “Are you okay with this?”

He nods his head. “As long as you are.” You raise back up and smile at him. You turn your head and look at Ransom. “I’m assuming you're okay with this?”

He just smirks and squeezes some lube out so that it slides down the crack of your ass. “More than okay, pretty girl. Need me to stretch you out first?”

You smirk and pull him in for a quick, filthy kiss. “I think it got plenty stretched out this weekend.”

He matches your smirk. “You little slut. Wanting both of our cocks stuffing you full.”

You whimper as he lands a smack on your ass. Leaning up on your knees, you grab a hold of Steve’s cock and start running his tip up and down your folds. He places his left hand on your right hip and his right hand on your left thigh. “Condom?”

You quickly shake your head and pause your actions. “On the pill. Unless of course you’d be more comfortable with one.”

He shakes his head. “No, just making sure.”

You turn back to Ransom. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you.”

He nods and places his hands on your shoulders, waiting somewhat patiently.

You slowly sink down on Steve’s cock. He’s stretching you out so deliciously. It burns in just the right way. Ransom may be longer, but Steve is definitely thicker.

After you get fully seated on him, you take a minute to adjust. It only takes a few seconds. You turn your head towards Ransom. “Okay, I’m ready.”

He removes his right hand from your shoulder and grabs the base of his cock and starts pressing against the tight ring of muscle. He’d been in there a lot over the weekend. But it was still a tight fit regardless. He doesn’t go as slow and sheaths himself to the hilt, causing you to moan out in slight pain and pleasure.

Holy fuck. You feel so full. You think you might die. That is until Ransom removes his cock until just the tip remains and then forcefully thrust back in, causing you to grind on Steve’s dick.

Steve grunts out from the movement and starts thrusting up into you the best he can from his position. Ransom wraps his left arm around you and continues his thrusts, not letting up his pace. You don’t even really have to move, the both of them doing it for you. They somehow find the perfect rhythm. Each of them pulling out and pushing in at the same time. One of your hands is behind you, resting on the back of Ransom’s head while the other is resting on Steve’s chest.

Steve sits up suddenly and pulls you in for a kiss. “Like being stuffed with both of our cocks, pretty girl?” You hear from behind you. “Yes. So good. So full. Gonna cum.”

Ransom removes his arm from around you and reaches down and starts circling your clit. “Do it. Cum all over us. Make a mess.”

Steve can feel you squeezing him. “Please, sweetheart. Need to feel you cum on my cock. You’re gripping me so good.”

You explode. You clamp your eyes shut, seeing stars behind your eyelids. You let the both of them fuck you through it.

Ransom’s hips stutter. The fluttering around his cock is too good. He cums with a shout of your name, filling up your ass to the brim. He gives you a few more thrusts before he pulls out and collapses beside you two.

Steve’s been patient while you come down from your high. He lays back down, pulling you with him so that your chest to chest. He bends his knees and grabs onto your hips. “You ready, sweetheart?” You raise up, both of your hands on each side of his head. You give him a nod.

That’s all he needs. He starts fucking you, hard and fast, chasing his release. He can feel it building. He just needs to feel you come undone around him again. He moves one of his hands and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Need you to cum for me again, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “Can’t. Too much.”

Ransom sits up beside you. “I know what she needs.” He reaches over with his left hand and wraps it around your throat, squeezing gently.

It makes you clench down on Steve’s cock. “Yeah? That all you needed, sweetheart? A hand wrapped around your pretty throat? I know you like it. Can feel you squeezing me.” He picks up his pace. The only sounds that can be heard are his grunts, your breathy monas, and skin slapping against skin.

It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. This one is somehow even more intense than the last.

You must’ve blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing you know, you’re waking up in between Steve and Ransom.

Steve smiles down at you. “There she is. We lost you for a second, sweetheart.”

You feel drunk. You smile goofily up at him. “Did you cum?”

Just as you ask that, you can feel his release seeping out of your overused cunt. Then you feel cum leaking out of your ass. You hide your face behind your hands in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

Ransom removes one hand while Steve removes the other. “Nuh uh uh. No hiding allowed, pretty girl. I have no regrets.” He looks at Steve. “Do you?”

Steve smiles down at you and leans down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “None from me. You tired, sweetheart?”

You let out a big yawn and nod your head, slowly closing your eyes. “Get some rest, pretty girl.” That’s the last thing you hear before sleep takes you.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You wake up sometime in the early morning, stretching out your sore limbs. You know you have a dumb smile on your face. But you can’t help but notice your empty bed.

You sit up and hiss at the deliciously sore feeling between your legs. You grab your robe and slip it on. You can smell coffee coming from the kitchen. You giddily make your way out of the room and down the hallway. They both barely just come into view, still unaware you’re there, when you hear Steve speak.

“I thought you were going to be an asshole to her? Make her see I’m not that bad.”

You hear Ransom next. “I was an asshole to her. I’m sorry I dicked her down so good that she wanted more.”

Steve scoffs. “I never gave you the okay to fuck her!”

“You also didn’t tell me it was off limits. Look you got what you wanted right?”

“No, actually I didn’t. I didn’t pay you so we could have a threesome together.”

What the fuck? Steve paid Ransom to help him get in your pants?

“Ok, how about this? I’ll give you all of your money back if I can fuck her one more time before I go? Then we’ll be squared away.”

Steve seems to be conflicted. “Fine! But this is the last time Ransom. I have to get to work anyway. After this, she’s mine. And make sure she’s not late for work herself.”

Before you have time to react, Steve rounds the corner and sees you standing there. He has a deer caught in headlights look. Ransom comes up beside him and sees you. “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

You slowly start backing up towards your bedroom. Steve moves towards you, stopping once you put your hands up. “Stay away from me! Both of you! I want nothing to do with either of you!”

Ransom moves past Steve and grabs onto your arms. “Oh, please. You’d fuck us again if we wanted. Wouldn’t you?”

You spit in his face. “Fuck you, Hugh.”

He gets a sinister look on his face. “Wrong move, pretty girl.” He looks toward Steve. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck the brat out of her. You better tell her boss she won’t be in today.”

Your eyes go wide at his words. You start thrashing against him, trying your best to get away. Steve has had enough. He comes over and yanks you away from him and presses you against the wall. “You better calm down, sweetheart. I’ll treat you like a princess if you can be my good girl. Can you do that?”

You shake your head. “Why would you think I’d want anything to do with you after finding out you paid someone to help get into my pants?”

He gives you an evil smirk. “Because if you don’t, I’ll just have to release the tape of last night on the internet. Let everyone see how much of a slut you actually are.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re bluffing.”

He smirks and turns his head towards Ransom. “Show her.”

Ransom gets his phone out of his pocket and swipes at the screen for a second before turning it in your direction.

Holy shit. They weren’t bluffing. There you were, getting fucked by the both of them. That would ruin you if it got out. Not only would you get fired, but your parents would probably disown you. You’d never have a normal relationship again. You’re fucked. Even more than you were last night. How had you not noticed they were recording it?

Ransom must have read your mind. “I set my phone up while you were busy with Steve’s fingers on your cunt and his tongue down your throat. I think you need to ask her again Steve.”

Steve grabs your chin and moves your gaze onto his face. “I’ll ask you again. Are you going to be my good girl? Let Ransom fuck you one more time and then it’ll just be me and you?”

You drop your gaze to the floor. You feel a tear run down your cheek as you whisper out, “I’ll be your good girl.”

Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @lllols @patzammit​ @quxxnxfhxll​

Steve Taglist: @donutloverxo​

[kohanayaki]

.:Time And Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 8

You come across an old photo book full of untouched memories and decide to go through it with Harry, though there are some things you decide he doesn't need to know and some things you'd rather forget. (Takes place mostly through Marauders era flashbacks)

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2   CH 3   CH 4   CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

Ch 8 .:Snapshots, Secrets, and Sentimentality:.

“Hey, Harry?” you called out into the living room where said boy was reclined on one of the large charcoal armchairs, “I found something you might want to see.”

His eyes widened behind the round frames of his glasses as you carried over a large, leather bound book that was thick with laminated pages. You sat across from him on the couch, setting it down on the coffee table in front of you.

“We still have a few more hours before the others arrive for the meeting,” you said, “and I don't know when the next time we'll be able to talk like this will be.”

“Wait,” he said before you could open the book, “you aren't staying?”

“I can't,” you smiled at him sadly. A statement that was true for a multitude of reasons you'd rather not get into with your godson. “I wanted to show this to you before I left, though.”

With a wave of your hand the book's pages gently flipped open, revealing a number of old magical photographs. The page you had turned to had a picture of James, and you could see Harry's eyes lock onto it. His father was beaming at the camera, holding up the Quidditch cup as two of his Gryffindor teammates held him up on their shoulders.

“Now you see why everyone always tells you how much you look like him,” you chuckled, “that's him in his fifth year, same as you now.”

Harry stared in wonder at the photo. He really did look like his dad. James was slightly taller, lankier, but he had the same disheveled waves of dark brown hair and boyish grin as Harry. Their faces were nearly identical; except for the eyes, of course.

The photo right next to that one was you wearing a Seeker's crest. You were posed, standing with the rest of your team with a wide smile on your face. Harry's brow furrowed as he spotted an unknown yet somehow familiar boy next to you with curly black hair and light eyes.

“Who is that?” he asked, “he almost looks like—”

“Sirius?” you finished. Harry nodded. “That would make sense,” you said, “that's Regulus, his younger brother.”

“I. . . didn't know he had one,” Harry said in wonder.

“Well, you know he doesn't talk about his family often.”

“Right. . .” Harry trailed off for a moment, “but you knew him? His brother?”

“Yeah,” you said, feeling a tug at your heart, “We were friends, for a while.” Your eyes subconsciously looked up towards his room which now stood empty. “He, um. . . he died, some time ago.”

“Oh,” Harry said, not knowing what to say, “I'm sorry. . .”

You gave him a small smile in thanks, trying to shrug off the grim feeling the memories brought up as you turned the page of the book to the next.

This photograph was one that was moving— you and James in your Quidditch captain's uniforms. He was reaching over, ruffling your hair while you were ducking to avoid him, pushing his face away and turning his glasses askew despite the grin on your face.

“We both became team captains in year six,” you said, smiling fondly at the picture, “we'd squared off as Seekers the year prior, so it was only natural. You were already playing Seeker your first year, weren't you?”

“Yeah,” Harry said bashfully, “although my first time catching the snitch was bit rough to say the least.” You laughed at that, recalling the time he told you the story of how he had caught the snitch with his mouth his first match.

“You take after your father, for sure,” you said, “he was always a creative flier; came up with all sorts of purposefully confusing strategies as captain. By the time the other team figured out what he was doing, he'd have already caught the snitch and the match would be set.”

Harry felt pride fill his chest at your words, glad he was taking on his father's good qualities.

“So you were a Seeker your fifth year and played until you graduated,” he recalled, “but I thought you said you played Chaser before?”

“Well, sort of?” you admitted, “Not officially. My introduction to the game was unconventional, to say the least. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1974   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James and Sirius huddled with the rest of the Gryffindor team on the Quidditch pitch, gearing up for the match. The energy around them was electric, the stands packed with students and faculty from every house.

“Remember, keep to the left,” Halls, their team captain, said sternly, “and take advantage of Parkinson's blind spot. If Rollins and the rest of the Chasers start scoring above 40 before halftime, we'll go in for the Pincer.”

Sirius nodded, determined to win this match. It was the first one of the season, so a lot was riding on this. However, his attention was diverted as the crowd's cheers suddenly grew louder. The Slytherin team had arrived on the field, marching towards them. Something Sirius didn't expect to see, however, was you, dressed in Chaser's robes next to his brother.

“What are they doing here?” Sirius scoffed as he spotted you, “they're not even on the team!”

“Rollins took a spill last practice,” Vanity said as she stepped forward. The Slytherin captain had a wicked grin on her face, “(L/n)'s a last minute replacement. Don't bother trying to argue, I've already cleared it with Madame Hooch.”

“Convenient of you to tell us ahead of time,” Halls' eyes narrowed.

“Is there a part of 'last minute' that escapes your understanding?” Vanity rolled her eyes.

“Well, no matter,” Halls said, “you've lost your best Chaser, we don't have anything to worry about.”

“That classic Gryffindor confidence,” Vanity smirked, “we'll see about that. I don't choose just anyone to fill in.”

Halls scoffed as Vanity turned on her heels, not bothering to look back.

“Seems you've found yourself another game to lose, (L/n),” James smirked at you.

“Have I?” you arched a brow, “what's our score now? 10-9?”

“10-10 since I got you with that scalene water in the Prefect's bathroom,” James reminded you, “how was being half fish for a day?”

“Marvelous, felt just like you,” you quipped.

“Settle down, everyone,” Madame Hooch said, stepping out onto the field, “Potter, (L/n), I know you two have taken to pranks on each other in class, but I don't want to see a lick of that up in the air, understood?”

“Perfectly,” you said, a smirk sneaking onto your face as you mounted your broom. 

“Wouldn't dream of it, professor,” James said with sarcastic flair.

Sirius eyed you cautiously. Gryffindor had flying class with Hufflepuff, so they'd never actually seen you fly before, but there was no doubt that if Vanity approved of you, you had to pose some kind of threat.

“Take your marks,” Hooch said, and you rose off the ground in unison, staring each other down. “Let the match begin!” With a strong, well placed kick, the Quidditch case was thrown open to release the bludgers and the snitch, and as she threw the quaffle up in the air you lunged forward into a dive. You were just about to grab the ball when a blur of red and gold nearly knocked you off your broom.

“Potter has the Quaffle!” Kingston commentated from the box, “he passes to Longbottom, who evades Catchlove and Regulus Black. Longbottom scores! The first ten points go to Gryffindor!”

The patrons in the red and gold stands went wild, the roar deafening in your ears. This was definitely different from flying class. You had to get it together.

The hair on the back of your neck suddenly stood straight up when something whizzed right past your head as you barely moved to dodge it. Sirius gave you a passive shrug from the other side of the field, a beater's bat resting on his shoulder.

“Tosser,” you grumbled under your breath. You had half a mind to throw him right through the left-field hoops without his broom, but dealing with the bludgers wasn't your job; you just had to evade and score. You wouldn't let your team down.

Your eyes searched the skies for the quaffle again, and found it as you spotted a Gryffindor snatch it out of Catchlove's hands. You built up momentum, lowering your body to your broom handle as you picked up speed, swiping the ball from the red Chaser's hands before his eyes could register. You flew under him before their team could rearrange formation and spun around quickly, swatting the quaffle towards the lower right goal with the tail end of your broom. Their Keeper dove to block it, but was one second too late. The ball flew through the hoop and straight into Regulus' hands, who looped back around and threw it through the top right, leaving the Gryffindor Keeper too disoriented and too low in the corner of the goal posts to do anything about it.

“(L/n) outmaneuvers Johnson and scores!” you heard the commentary box boom, “Regulus Black follows up with another goal, we are 20 Slytherin to 10 Gryffindor, what a quick turnaround to start off the match!”

You huffed, impressed that Regulus was able to make the most of your shot. You knew he was Sirius' brother, but that was about it. He was a year younger than you, so you didn't have any classes together and never really talked to him before.

“Nice shot,” you said, flying next to him.

“Same to you,” he said with the slightest upwards quirk of his lips.

“Oi, keep it up you two!” Vanity shouted, hovering over you before dodging the bludger that flew her way, “Black, keep point on Johnson, he's off his game today. (L/n) I want you on intercept and watch for Potter.”

“Gladly,” you smirked, flying off towards the other side of the field. You were starting to feel more comfortable in the air, like you were when you were just flying by yourself; the sounds of the crowd disappeared over the wind rushing in your ears, and you were able to concentrate on your main objective:

Kicking James Potter's arse.

And that you did. The all too confident smirk that seemed to be permanently plastered to his face disappeared when he suddenly felt the weight of the quaffle leave his hands. A victorious smile graced your lips at his dumbfound expression as you threw the ball long to Regulus, who caught it with ease, swatting Johnson away like a fly before scoring another goal.

“(L/n) passes to Black who scores another ten points for Slytherin!” Kingston announced, “it looks like the two rookie players are really hitting their stride now. Choosing (L/n) as a last second fill in is really paying off!”

Sirius' eyes narrowed, grunting in frustration as he hit another bludger your way. Regulus' head turned at the sound of the crack of the bat and signaled over to one of your Beaters, who tossed the bat his way just in time for the Slytherin to send the ball flying back towards his brother. Sirius cursed under his breath, rolling to the right and spinning out of control for a moment before reorienting himself.

“Hooch, what gives!” he shouted, “penalize them!”

“Fair play under protection,” Hooch denied him, “you've been taking headshots, Black. Be grateful I'm not docking you.”

Sirius grumbled a few choice words under his breath before flying back into the fray.

“Thanks for that!” you called over to Regulus.

“Don't mention it,” the boy said, his expression still fairly neutral save for the slight smirk on his face. How the hell was he so calm during this game anyways?

You continued to work with Regulus throughout the match; you'd found a system that worked, and your captain told you to roll with it. Pass after pass you intercepted and scored, mainly targeting Potter not just because Vanity had told you to, but because it brought you a considerable amount of personal enjoyment.

That's when you saw it— a tiny, nearly imperceptible flash of gold that whizzed by your peripheral vision. Neither of the Seekers had caught sight of it yet, but you watched as it zoomed low towards the ground, hovering just beneath one of the crowd stands.

“Oi, Talkalot!” you shouted over the crowd at your Seeker, “Dive low at Hippogriff, now!”

You'd only had  a few hours to look over the strategies that Vanity laid out for you, but you knew the Slytherin team had come up with code words for each quadrant of the Quiditch pitch so you could alert your Seeker if you saw the snitch without the other team knowing where it was. You hoped to Merlin you'd gotten the code right, and you exhaled in relief as Talkalot zoomed past you, taking a sharp dive straight down.

“Nice eye, (L/n)!” she shouted over her shoulder, her voice trailing off as she went after the snitch at top speed.

Sirius' eyes widened as he saw the sporadic move from your Seeker. That could only mean one thing.

“Halls, they've got eyes on the snitch!” he shouted to his team captain who cursed under his breath, taking off in Talkalot's direction, but her lead was too great.

“She's got it!” Kingston hollered into the mic, “Lucinda Talkalot has caught the golden snitch, scoring 150 points for Slytherin! Our score comes out 50 Gryffindor to 230 Slytherin, and this match is over!”

“Slytherin wins!” Madame Hooch proclaimed from her broom.

Everyone in the emerald stands cheered so loudly you thought their tents would topple. You couldn't believe the amount of adrenaline coursing through your body in that moment. It was a complete sensory overload as you were bombarded by the Slytherin team, mostly comprised of people you hardly even knew, and thrown on top of their shoulders and they cheered for you.

“What a game, (L/n)! I never knew you could play!”

“Where the hell have you been all this time, eh?”

“You better try out next year or you're dead!”

You laughed at the last comment from Vanity, people buzzing around you as soon as you were set down. You broke away from the congratulatory comments and pats on the back, however, as you spotted James across the field. You couldn't help but rub this in his face a little.  

“Why so blue, Potter?” you grinned as you bounded over to him, “what was that about me 'finding another game to lose'?”

For once, James had no clever comeback, and his face flushed as you laughed at his expression.

“I do believe that leaves us 11-10,” you said cheekily, doing an overly exaggerated bow before tossing your broom from your left hand to your right and stalking off.

“Not for long,” James said to himself once you were out of earshot, equal parts impressed and supremely annoyed. It was time for him to pay another visit to Zonko's. He'd show you blue all right. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“After that year I tried out for a permanent position as Seeker,” you said, “your father and I concluded our prank war, Sirius and I put aside our differences, Lupin vouched for my involvement with the map, and the rest is history.”

“I seriously can't believe you became such close friends only two years later,” Harry said, shaking his head in bewilderment.

“Neither could we,” you said, “it was just a series of chance encounters that we learned we were more similar than we thought. I really do believe that friendship can come from anywhere, Harry. Even more so when you least expect it. So if there's anyone around you that you think you might never get along with, I'd say it's worth it to give them a chance.”

Harry paused at your words. There were more than a few people who came to mind.

You turned to the next page, which was a spread of you and the rest of the Marauders in more casual settings. One could clearly tell you had taken them of each other, if the shaky camera movement and blurry rendering were anything to go off of.

You smiled to yourself as you saw a photo of you and Remus asleep in the Hogwarts library, lightly leaning against each other with your eyes peacefully closed. Suddenly the camera flash jolted through the photograph, and you two bolted upright. You glared at the person taking the photo and reached out to smack the camera away, the picture going blurry for a moment before resetting. Harry laughed at the brief repeating scene, as did you.

“Your father took this one,” you huffed, “because of course he did.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1977  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You rested your head in your palm as you transcribed a few spells into your notebook. The lantern in front of you gave you just enough light to read the elaborate Latin, as the sun had long since set. Your eyelids felt annoyingly heavy, attempting to close on their own as you fought against them to stay awake.

“How are you holding up?” Remus asked with a slight grin, catching you jump awake at his remark.

You and Remus had gotten permission from Madame Pince to use the library after hours to study; after all, you two were outstanding students. If James and Sirius had made the request, they wouldn't have gotten so positive a reaction.

“I've been more awake in my life, but I really need to get this done tonight,” you sighed, “NEWTS start next week and I have to be ready.” You stared up at the boy who was looking at you with obvious concern. “I'm fine, Moony. And I don't want to keep you here, so whenever you want to head off to bed, feel free to.”

“It's no trouble,” he said, “I'll walk you back to your common room, at least. At this rate you'll fall asleep in the middle of the hall for Filch to find you.”

You gave him a light but well-meant glare, groaning as you turned your tired eyes back to the parchment in front of you.

“Why the sudden all-nighters anyways?” Lupin asked, “I thought you'd be plenty prepared.”

“My Charms marks haven't exactly been the best lately,” you admitted, “that's kind of important if I want to become an auror, Remus.”

“Really?” the lycanthrope said, surprised, “but you're always in the know on some spell or another I've never even heard of. You've even made some of your own, right?”

“Yes, but the Ministry wants people who can conjure a corporeal patronus, not someone who made up a spell that makes antlers grow on someone's head to make a very specific joke.”

“Well, I thought it was impressive,” Remus laughed, thinking back to James asking him 'why does my head feel so heavy?' “but I see what you're saying,” Remus continued, “Have you thought about Dumbledore's proposal? Joining the cause might call for some more specialized tasks that would fit you well.”

“Right,” you bit your lip, “I just. . . I don't know. It's a lot to take on. A big part of me is scared, Remus. I'm not like you guys. I can't just fearlessly leap into a battle without any second thoughts. James and Sirius gave their answers so quickly and. . . I couldn't say for sure right away like they could. Honestly, I was terrified, and I still feel guilty because of it.”

“Fear is wisdom in the face of danger, (Y/n),” Remus said, “It's nothing to be ashamed of. No one is forcing you to make this decision right away, nor are they requiring you do it alone. There's a war going on out there, (Y/n). No one would blame you for not diving into it headfirst.”

“Always the quoter of muggle proverbs,” you chuckled lightly, “thank you, Remus. Really.”

A quiet yawn snuck into the back of your throat, and you stretched out of your chair to try to get feeling back into your body.

“Maybe I should turn in soon,” you said, your voice already groggy, “just a few more transcriptions. . .”

Remus stayed by your side as you continued to work diligently, and he found himself smiling at your innate stubbornness. It was something he greatly admired about you; when you decided on something you stuck to it no matter what, sometimes to a fault. You fought to keep your eyes open, even as your head began to slope and your handwriting gradually became slower.

Lupin was beginning to tire himself, which surprised him. He was naturally nocturnal, after all, and usually had no issue staying up to the early hours of the morning. But the quiet scratch of your quill against the parchment, the occasional sound of a page turning, and the smell of your shampoo that wafted with the motion, all lulled him into a sense of ease that was much too easy to doze off to.

Just when he thought he might fall asleep, he almost jumped out of his skin as he felt a soft pressure on his shoulder. He looked to the side to see you sleeping peacefully, your head having slipped from your palm and onto the soft fabric of his sweater. His face flushed a deep red, and he thanked Merlin you were sound asleep. He was caught in between embarrassment and slight panic as he instinctualy wanted to wake you but also ensure you actually got to sleep tonight.

He meant to wake you, he really had, but his mind and body betrayed him, and without even knowing when, his eyes fluttered closed and he drifted off into quite possibly the best sleep he'd had in weeks.

The flash of the magical camera was blinding, even through your closed eyelids. White spots danced in your vision as you groaned, shielding your face from the camera.

“MORNING, LOVEBIRDS!”

Remus jolted awake, remembering last night's events in an instant and banging his head on the bookshelf beside him in an attempt to put some distance between you two.

James was stood there, camera in hand and doubled over in laughter.

“Prongs, you better start running before I skin you and turn you into a pair of shoes,” you growled.

“How is it that I always catch you two sleeping together?” James chortled, completely ignoring your statement, “Can't be long till you get it on to the other sense of the phrase.”

And that's when you lunged at him. Too bad he didn't take your advice for a head start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That twat,” you said fondly, a statement that about summed up your and James' friendship.

Harry found himself smiling as you recounted your memories with his father. It made him feel that much more grateful for what he shared with Ron and Hermione.

“Oh, Merlin,” you laughed as you saw the next picture. You, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and James were standing side by side, Slughorn smiling in the middle of all of you. “This was the first and last Slug Club party that we ever attended all together,” you said, “Like I mentioned, Lily and I had always gone, and—”

You caught yourself.

And Severus would pretend to be reluctant tagging along, you finished in your mind. After what happened he stopped attending the parties.

You cleared your throat.

“Ahem, well, we'd always gone together as friends but none of the boys ever went with us,” you said, “It was our last year, and Lily finally convinced James to tag along, because by then they were together and he was contractually obligated to do so. I talked Sirius into coming because Slughorn had been trying to get him to come for years, and I made Remus my plus one. So for the first time ever, we were all at the party.”

“So it was the last party of the year?” Harry asked.

“Um, well, no,” you laughed, “it was the last party we were invited to. Let's just say your godfather thought it would be funny to enchant the ice sculptures to chase Lucius Malfoy around the dance floor. I'll admit, watching that stupid blonde ninny run screaming from a rapidly melting octopus to the tune of a classical string quartet was pretty entertaining, though Slughorn obviously felt otherwise.”

Harry chuckled, clearly seeing the spark of mischief in Sirius' eyes, even through a photo. As Harry's gaze drifted across the page, he noticed an empty space near the corner of the book. A discolored square remained where a photo should have been, the caption reading 'Christmas, 1976.' As he saw the way you ran your fingers lightly across the page, he decided against asking you what used to be there. He instead turned his attention to the next photograph, which was one taken in an all too familiar setting.

“Hold on,” Harry said, pointing to the picture, “that's the Gryffindor common room!”

“Sure is,” you grinned, “that secret passage from the dungeons to Gryffindor tower went from being used purely for pranking purposes to a way for us to actually hang out together at night.”

You stared down at the photograph fondly. You all looked so much older than the first pictures. You and James were lounging on the couch, not bothering to hide the overly full glasses of firewhiskey in your hands. Sirius and Remus were sitting on pillows on the floor, caught in the middle of a fit of laughter before all four of you turned to the camera which flashed. A pang of hurt and anger hit you square in the chest as it did. Peter had been the one taking the photo.

“I remember this day,” you said, an expression Harry couldn't quite figure out on your face, “it was the night before graduation. Our last night at Hogwarts. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1978   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A giggle rose in your throat as you took yet another drink of firewhiskey with James and Sirius, something that Remus insisted you were going to regret come morning.

“Oh, don't be suck a stickler, Moony,” Sirius guffawed, “tonight's the night! This time tomorrow we'll be packing up camp and heading out into the great unknown.” He made an expansive gesture with his hand that was cut off promptly by James smacking him upside the head.

“I'll brew a pepperup potion tomorrow if anyone really needs it,” you assured Remus.

“Not really the point, (Y/n),” he rolled his eyes.

As you leaned back to look at the four of them, all grinning like idiots and laughing, you felt a strange sense of sadness come over you. This was your last night at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the place you had spent most of your life and where you had met the people you could no longer imagine that life without. As the reality of that fact sunk in, you grew quiet.

“Everything's going to be different after tomorrow, isn't it?” you said.

The boys looked surprised at your sudden and intense declaration, and James was the first to break the tension you'd created.

“Aww, Fangs is getting all sentimental,” he grinned, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

“I will toss you out this window, Prongs.”

He laughed, poking you in the cheek, his smile only widening as you huffed in annoyance.

“It won't be different,” he promised, more serious but with that smile ever present on his face, “we'll still be friends. We'll still be a pack. And besides, after we graduate we could go. . . well, anywhere together! Just think, the five greatest heroes Hogwarts has ever seen, going on top secret missions from Dumbledore, saving the world!”

“It'll be dangerous, James,” you said, “there's a war going on, remember?”

“What war could ever break us up, huh?” he said reassuringly. You felt your heart swell at the remark. “And besides, you're gonna have to see me next year for the wedding anyways! Lily wanted it sometime in Spring.”

“. . .”

“WEDDING?!” you, Sirius, Remus, and Peter screeched, practically in unison as if it had been planned and rehearsed. Chaos erupted in the room, and you couldn't care less if you woke everyone in Gryffindor tower.

“You sly git, when were you gonna tell us?!” Sirius whacked his friend over the head with the map.

“I just did!” James said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head, “And ow, Merlin, Pads. . .”

“You hit me first!”

“I can't believe you just dropped that on us,” you said, “Lily actually agreed to this?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” James huffed.

“Hey, I'm just saying you tend to drift off into fantasy land when it comes to her,” you said, putting your hands up in mock surrender, “I was just making sure this was rooted in reality.”

Remus laughed at that, lifting the needle on his record gently.

“They have a point,” he chuckled.

“Yes, I actually proposed, and yes she actually agreed,” James said, a lovesick smile on his face, “I wanted to get married pretty soon after we graduated, and she had no problem with that. She said she'd want to start a family—”

“Oh GOD,” Sirius said, drunken horror on his face.

“An actual nightmare,” you joined in playfully, “imagine another one of you running around. Even Lily's DNA couldn't balance that out.”

“Alright, that's it,” James said, “you're not gonna be godparents anymore.”

“I'd be terrible at that anyways,” Sirius chortled.

“I disagree,” James said earnestly, and the comment struck Sirius completely off guard. He chocked up the welling tears in his eyes to the alcohol, taking another sip to mask it.

“You're going soft, Prongsy,” he grumbled.

“Look who's talking, tough guy,” James laughed, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

“We should take a picture,” Peter suggested quietly, turning red when everyone stopped what they were doing to face him, “I-I mean, since (Y/n) was worried about things changing, and we're all graduating, a-and who knows when—”

“Good thinking Wormtail,” James beamed, pulling you closer and leaning down towards Sirius and Remus so you could all be in the frame.

Peter was looking down at his shoes, fidgeting with his wand.

“Peter, you don't wanna get in the picture?” you asked.

The large framed boy jumped at your voice, looking nervously between the people he had come to know as his friends. There was an oddly fearful look in his eyes that left as soon as it came— a look you wouldn't understand until years later.

“N-no, that's alright,” he said.

And that was one of the last peaceful days of your life you could recall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I haven't even thought about these in the longest time,” you said, staring at the faded photos, “it's crazy to look back on them. It feels both like yesterday and a hundred years ago.”

The next page immediately summoned a lump in your throat.

“This was their wedding,” you said, fighting to keep your voice level, “the year after we graduated.”

Harry looked down at the dozens of photos of the ceremony and party that took place after; James at the altar in his burgundy and gold embroidered suit, and Lily walking down the isle with a bouquet full of the flowers that shared her name. Remus raising a champagne flute to the large crowd of guests as he made a heartfelt speech. You and Sirius dancing under the floating lanterns made to mimic the Hogwarts ceiling.

“Your father never was one for subtlety,” you laughed lightly, “he wanted the ceremony to be as extravagant as possible. He pulled out all the stops. . . and then, the very next year, they announced that they were going to have you.”

You looked up at Harry, and the resemblance he shared with two of your closest late friends conjured feelings of happiness, love, and deep, cutting sadness all at the same time.

Your fingers moved to turn the page, wanting to move on to something else, but you froze as you saw the edge of the next one. So much for that plan.

“I think that's enough for now,” you said quickly, smoothing the page back down, “the others will be arriving soon for the meeting, you best get washed up.”

Harry was curious, of course, but he nodded, not wanting to press for anything else as he reluctantly headed back upstairs.

When you were left alone with the photo book you sighed, bringing yourself to turn the page to see a picture of you and Severus. You were beaming at the camera, proudly holding out your perfectly brewed Draught of Living Death, the photo having been taken by Slughorn to put up on his famous wall. One of your arms held the cauldron haphazardly, the other slung around Severus' shoulders. He certainly wasn't displaying your level of enthusiasm, but a small smile graced his expression, allowing his lips to fully curve upwards, which was as close to 'beaming' as he ever got. He looked so much younger— less burdened.

Right next to that photo was an older one from 1973. It was one you had taken from the top of the oak tree, with Severus and Lily looking up at you. You knew he'd be here soon, and you knew you should talk to him, but you found yourself stuck back in the cycle of doubting every opening spiel you came up with.

You groaned in frustration, snapping the book shut and resting your forehead on the table as stress flooded your being. You refused to live in this perpetual state of dwelling on what happened. You were ready to talk, you just had to take the first step.

Chapter 9 coming soon!

Taglist:  @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @juggysgirlfriend @beautifulsweetschaos @kattirin @mialupin1 @crazy-obsessed-fangirl, @youcantbesirius @pan-pride-12​

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Do you think you’ll continue with the lawyer Nessian fic. It was so amazingly written I’d love to read more! I love all your writing anyways I’ll be happy with anything❤️

Ok not *technically* a Drabble request BUT I’m not ready to commit to a full lawyer AU that happens in order however I did just drum up a part 2 that we’ll say is several years before the previous lawyer AU. Nessian teasing in a bar and Rhys being a dumbass.

FYI the lawyer Drabble I’m talking about can be found HERE.

“I’m in love,” Rhys slurred. Cassian, a decent bit bigger than his brother and two drinks behind him, had a gentle buzz so he could only surmise that his brother was well passed sober.

“Congratulations,” Cassian grinned, clapping his hand on Rhys’ shoulder. “May I lay eyes upon the future Mrs. Dumbass.”

Rhys stared at him flatly. Blew a laugh out of his nose. “She’s not marrying you, brother.”

Cassian snorted, casting his eyes around the elegantly decorated little lounge they’d stepped into for the night. Lounge, not bar. Because they were mature adults now looking to take the edge off after a long day of work, not college students looking to get fucked up.

It was different.

It was different because the cocktails cost $20 and were served in actual stemware instead of red solo cups. They were evolving. Growing. Cassian was a lawyer now and Rhys was supposed to be doing actual work for his dad’s company so… no more dive bars.

Now they frequented little lounges where accountants and lawyers and bankers sat in tailored suits and discussed… adult things.

It was all very civilized.

And yet here was his brother. Every bit the horny college student they were trying not to be. Oh well, old dogs and all that.

“End of the bar.” Rhys jerked his head to the left and Cassian grinned.

“Might be a little old for you, champ.”

Rhys wrinkled his brow and turned to look at the grandmother doing a crossword puzzle on the far left side of the bar. A martini glass in front of her. Good for grandma.

“Other end of the bar!”

Cassian smirked. He didn’t need to turn his head, since he’s noticed her the second she walked in, but he still did. Just so he could look some more.

“Ah, you mean the deliciously dishevelled leggy brunette with her suit jacket on the chair beside her who just ripped the pins out of her hair like they personally offended her and then laid them in a neat little pile beside her Kobo?

“Mmm,” Rhys grinned, “I’d like her to rip those fingers through my hair.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Go for it, brother.”

Rhys grinned wider. “I think I will.” He straightened up, ran a hair through his artfully mussed hair, and pulled on the lapels of his Gucci suit jacket until they were even again.

Cassian snickered into his Old Fashioned. Rhys could straighten his jacket all he wanted. He could pretend he wasn’t drunk all he wanted. It wouldn’t matter one bit.

Not with Nesta Archeron.

Nesta Archeron who hated men that stunk of trust funds and privilege more than anything else in this world.

This would be fun to watch.

Watch her try to ignore him at first. Eyes glued to the page of her book, hand reaching up to wave through the air like Rhys was an annoying fly she could swat away.

Rhys, to his credit, was a clever little bastard. He asked the bartender for a refill of her drink and set it down in front of her then sat himself one stool down from her.

He didn’t move her jacket to sit next to her, which would have had her going feral. He just sat there, waiting.

After a few moments Nesta let out an exacerbated sigh that Cassian could hear from across the room. There was his girl.

Well, not his girl. Not even a little bit his girl, but… someday.

Cassian decided that he was going to Marry Nesta Archeron the first time she kicked his ass up and down a negotiation meeting. It was a couple years ago now. He’d been young and new at his firm. She was young and new too, but the words learning curve were not in Nesta’s vocabulary. Everything she did, she did with perfection.

Including getting rid of men she didn’t want hitting on her.

She said something to his brother that made Rhys’ half drunk, cocky, smile fall halfway down his face.

Cassian would’ve given his left eye to know what she said in that moment. She had a knack for jumping at the jugular and Rhys… oh Rhys. So obvious.

After a few moments and the continual fall of Rhys’ face, Cassian decided it was time to intervene. He knocked his drink back and straightened out his own suit jacket. Armani, still overpriced and designer but not so obvious or try hard as Mr. Up On The Trends with his Gucci. Nesta appreciated classics.

Simple. Clean lines, solid colours, classic. Which was why it was so fun just how attracted she was to his half wild self.

Unlike Rhys, Cassian plucked Nesta’s light grey suit jacket up off the stool beside her and reached over her head to hang it on a coat hook at the end of the bar. Settling himself into the chair beside her like it was exactly where he belonged. Which it was.

She turned around with an indignant shriek and a fire-breathing snarl that narrowed into just a hard glare when she realized it was him. Touching.

“This guy giving you trouble, Nes?”

Rhys choked on his whiskey and Cassian fought his hardest to keep a straight face.

“I so don’t need your saviour complex right now, Cassian.” Nesta scoffed.

“No,” Rhys rolled his eyes. “She was doing perfectly well scaring off everyone in a 10 mile radius all on her own.”

Nesta smiled sweetly, “I was just playing your game.”

Rhys sputtered again. Looked up at his brother. “This devil woman that you apparently already know,” he glared, “is all yours. I’m going home.”

“Be sure to drink plenty of water!” Nesta sing songed after him. Rhys flipped them both off on his way out.

“What’d you say to him?”

Nesta smiled. A pretty, feline little thing. “He said he wanted to chat. Suggested 20 question, which is the lamest, oldest, crustiest line in the book. So I went first. Asked just how small his dick was that he felt the need to overcompensate with the swagger and the gratuitous displays of wealth. He thought he was quite clever to use his question to ask if I wanted to check for myself how not small his dick was and then I asked if his daddy never loved him and that’s where all of that machismo masking painfully obvious and deep seeded feelings of inadequacy and insecurity came from. I was going to offer him my friend’s number before you showed up. She’s an excellent therapist.”

Cassian laughed. Hard. For a very long time. He loved Rhys, but sometimes the kid could use a nice set down. It was always sweeter when delivered by a beautiful woman. Not to mention, Cassian himself had gotten the same ice cold rejection the first time he met Nesta. When he asked if she wanted to get a coffee and she looked at him like something she’d scraped off the bottom of her shoe. That Rhys was chased off so easily just proved he couldn’t take the heat.

“You know the walking trust fund, I presume?” Nesta boredly sipped the drink Rhys had bought her. And even that was somehow amusing.

“Only for the last couple decades or so,” Cassian grinned. “He’s like a brother to me.”

“Explains a lot.”

“Your insults are more impactful when you clarify which person is being insulted.”

“I was going for the two birds one stone method.”

“In that case, consider me wounded, sweetheart.”

Nesta scoffed, “Unfortunately not mortally.”

“Oh Nesta, if I weren’t here you’d die of boredom and you know it. No one else can run you up and down the courtroom like I can.” Now. Cassian grinned as he watched the word flash across her eyes. He’d never live that first blunder down.

Nesta rose an eyebrow. “Bold of you to assume you present any challenge whatsoever.”

Cassian signalled for another drink and leaned forward. “Alright, I’ll bite. Who in this entire city can give you more of a run for your money?”

“Vanserra.” Nesta looked him dead in the eye. And managed to keep a straight face. As if that wasn’t the funniest fucking thing he’d heard all day.

“Oh yes, Nepotism and Nepotism LLP certainly has us all shaking in our boots,” Cassian blew out a breath. “What are you working on now?”

“I’m working on upholding attorney-client privilege.”

“So, the Suncurser merger.”

Nesta looked up. “How did you-”

“Helion and I are old friends. I checked the zoning on the lots he was buying before the merger went ahead to make sure the expansion was even feasible. But, as you know, M&A isn’t my thing. So I may have… given him a referral.”

“Are there any rich playboys in this city that you aren’t friends with?” Nesta finished off her drink and pointedly didn’t signal for another. “And if you think I’m going to be grateful to you for sending this my way you’ve got another thing-“

“Helion is my friend.” Cassian repeated, cutting her off. “He believes in this merger and he wants it done right. You’re the best, Nesta. Why wouldn’t I send him to you?”

“It’s not just to get in my pants?” She narrowed her eyes.

Cassian laughed again. “Oh no, sweetheart. When you invite me into your bed it will have nothing to do with work. It’ll be because you’re tired of denying how much you want me.” Cassian leaned in closer, one hand resting on the back of her chair. “Tired of denying the thrill that shoots through your whole body when we lay into each other. In the court room or out.” His nose brushed against hers, just a little, and Cassian felt Nesta tense up. He smirked, mouth just inches away from hers. “Tired of denying how right this is.”

Nesta’s voice was rough, husky. “So your plan is to wear me down?”

Cassian smirked. “My plan,” his hand came up to stroke the silk covered expanse of her upper arm, “is to marry you, Nesta Archeron. But sure, we can start with wearing you down.”

***Feyre and Nesta look physically similar so you can’t tell me drunk Rhys wouldn’t hit on Nesta in a bar before realizing he’d made a terrible mistake and running away thank you***

Also tags yourself, I’m the grandma doing the crossword puzzle with a martini. She’s an icon and she is the moment.

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]