#k was really hard to find a song for for some reason

[ki-limepie]

rules: make a new post and spell out your url with song titles then tag as many people as there are letters in your url

bit late, but i was tagged by @seoksao !! thank you again for tagging me 💕

k - kitchen fork by jack conte

i - impostor syndrome by sidney gish

l - lemons by shawn wasabi

i - into my arms by coin

m - mama's gun by glass animals

e - everything we used to by goldhouse

p - pride by the family crest

i - it's not living (if it's not with you) by the 1975

e - everythingoes by rm

[a-hazbin-reader]

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Angst??? Me on my drama bs again, Y/N gets harassed, Mentions of murder, Little spicy

Description: What if, in classic K-Drama style, you were in an arranged marriage with Alastor while you two were still alive and it SUCKEDDDDDDD!! Until it didn't

You both were forced into the marriage for different reasons, Alastor needing a marriage to look normal, to get people off his back and you because...you had to get away from your family

That and your options were Alastor, a man you barely knew by anything other than reputation or some pervert you knew all too well and refused to marry

You kept wondering what the downsides to marrying Alastor would be, what if he was a terrible drunk? Or a womanizer? Or what if he put hands on you?

But he ended up being none of those things, in fact... the wedding was a simple courthouse one and he didn't even kiss you

He took you to his home and immediately left after that, you spent your honeymoon alone and wandering an unfamiliar house

Alastor was polite enough but that's all he ever was to you, even after months of being married. He only ever worked, went out, and came to bed

He never really asked you about yourself other than how your day was and if you tried to ask him anything meaningful about himself... you simply got an answer that felt like a lie

Even if you broke something or spent an inappropriate amount of money, he only smiled at you and told you that it was okay

You have all the freedom you could ever ask for but somehow it feels like... just not what you signed up for. It feels like you're collecting dust

You find yourself wanting his attention, wanting to be anything more than just a box ticked off his list of things he got done

You briefly wonder if he has another woman in his life but why wouldn't he just marry her instead? He doesn't seem like the type of man to do anything he doesn't want to do

You didn't know if there was anything you could do to change how things were between you two

It was another lonely night for you when your best friend came to your door, a huge grin on his face as he peered in at you

"Y/N~ What's a man gotta do to get a poor lonely housewife such as yourself to go out to a new bar in town?"

You'd have gone crazy right now if it weren't for your best friend, he always seemed to show up when you were feeling down

Alastor wasn't home yet, so it was likely he was going to be gone all night... again. Not that he would even care or notice that you weren't in bed

"Let me get my coat!"

And just like that, you're having a good time, sitting at the bar and laughing so hard that you can't even pick up your drink without shaking

"There is no way that actually happened..!"

Your bestie folds his hand over his heart, still laughing so hard that there's tears in his eyes

"I swear! He really walked out with no pants on!"

A short blonde woman is running around managing things, you're guessing she's the new owner but you haven't had a chance to ask yet

Your friend suddenly perks up and pulls your drink out of your hand, hauling you out of your seat and dragging you to the dance floor

"Y/N! This is our song!"

He pulls you into the fray and you have to admit that this is more fun than staying at home and being lonely. Even when he tries to trip you with his two left feet

You're smiling so hard that your face hurts when your friend spins you and suddenly you're face to face with-your husband???

"Alastor?"

He seems just as surprised to see you, his smile twitching and eyes wide as if he can't believe what he's seeing

"Y/N? What are you doing here? I had no idea you liked to go out to these types of places."

Your surprise melts away into genuine anger, crossing your arms and backing yourself closer to your best friend who wraps a protective arm around you

You miss the way Alastor's eyes follow the motion and the predatory way his smile widens. You huff and inadvertently bring his attention back to you

"There's a lot you don't know about me."

And just like that, you're walking back into the crowd until you're out of sight. Your best friend turns to Alastor in confusion

"And who are you?"

"Her husband."

"Oh. Good to meet you?"

After that, Alastor starts noticing more and more about you, things that he wonders how he ever missed at all

Like how every weekend you're exhausted by the end of the day because you watch your neighbor's children for her so she can go to work

She's a single mom and that touches Alastor's heart in a way that you don't even realize

He finds out because he comes home early to find you with a toddler on your hip and a little one hiding shyly behind your leg at the sight of him

The older of the two tugs on your clothes and you lean down so that they can whisper loudly in your ear

"Who's that man..?"

Your eyes flicker over to Alastor for a moment before cupping a hand and whispering back just as loudly

"That's my husband, hunny."

"He's handsome~"

The blush on your face makes something in Alastor's chest swell with happiness as you nod and stand back up. The toddler clinging to you possessively and giving Alastor a mean stink eye

He spends the entire weekend observing how you interact with them, he also helps when he can but mostly finds he gets in your way

You're a natural and it's heartwarming to see, Alastor wonders if you had ever wanted kids. He wonders if you still do or if you gave up on that after marrying him

Alastor learns that every Tuesday you receive a bouquet of flowers that you immediately throw away and rip up the little note attached. You then spend the rest of the day in a sour mood that you try to hide from him

He finds the flowers in the trash one night and asks you about them, watching as you scowl at the sight

"Ugh. Throw those things away, I make it a point not to keep those kinds of things. It only encourages them."

"Encourages who?"

That's also how Alastor starts to piece together that you're a very popular woman. Men are seemingly constantly flirting with you and sending you gifts. It's something he didn't even notice before, and now it irritates him to no end

It doesn't help that practically nobody knows that you're a married woman, Alastor starts taking it upon himself to go out with you more to try and stop it from happening

Instead, he gets a front row seat to it, watching as a man looks you up and down before cornering you with a sleazy look on his face. Guessing by the way you roll your eyes, you're familiar with him

Alastor watches as you try to move around him and how the man whips his arm out to block you, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him as he leans in to-

"Excuse me, that's my wife you're drooling over~"

The man startles as Alastor grips his wrist with surprising strength and pulls his hands off of you. He looks stunned for a moment before laughing at Alastor

"If Y/N was married, then how come nobody can remember being invited to her wedding?"

And just like that, Alastor's past choices come back to bite him, and he regrets not giving you a proper wedding. Had you wanted one? Either way, this man is dead by the end of the week or so help him-

"Only people who deserved to be there were invited."

The mocking tone of your voice, along with the feeling of your hand on Alastor's arm, somehow makes him feel less murderous, his smile more genuine now

He also learns that you're very much starved of company and your only outlet has been going out and fixing your loneliness by surrounding yourself with people

Alastor discovers that when he comes home late to find that your bedroom is empty and he can't find you anywhere.

The first time it happens, he panics and goes out searching for you everywhere. Only to find you in a bar by yourself, playing with your straw as you watch couples slow dance

He immediately feels guilty at the wistful expression on your face, you're his wife... The least he could do was take you out dancing, he liked to dance so why hadn't he taken you before?

The second time it happens, he waits for you to come home and surprises you by asking you to dance, turning on the radio

"Alastor! I didn't know you were still up-I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

You're a little tipsy by the flush on your face, letting Alastor guide you into a slow dance and leaning your head on his shoulder to avoid staring at his stupid handsome face

You can't suppress the shiver that races down your spine when he presses his lips to your ear and strokes your back slowly

"Next time you want to go out, let me know, and we'll make it date, hm?"

"A date..?"

The third time doesn't happen because he comes home early and takes you out to go dance and have fun with him

Alastor begins earnestly putting effort into his marriage with you, falling a little harder each time he learns something new about you

He starts throwing away the Tuesday flowers for you, instead bringing you his own and making sure to really ask how you've been

He brings you things that he thinks you would like and starts to learn through trial and error what you actually enjoy receiving

He's careful not to go out on weekends anymore because he wants to be there to help you babysit so that you're not as exhausted by the end of the day

Which only ends up with you both being exhausted, once even falling asleep together on the couch. He woke up to you snuggled into his side and his arm wrapped around you

He goes out and runs errands with you when he can, doing everything he can to flirt and charm a blush onto your pretty face

One time, he took a box of cereal out of your hands and held it out of your reach so that you'd have to stretch to get it. Only to pull you in close so he can whisper to you that you look beautiful in your new outfit

"Ah, it's so cute to see a man still trying to date his wife~"

Alastor takes you out to a place of your choosing at least once a week, the two of you spending the time talking, drinking, and or dancing together

Even though he has less time to do as he pleases, Alastor finds himself looking forward to doing any of these things with you/for you

After awhile, you two start to feel like a real married couple. The kind who are genuinely in love and can't get enough of each other

Until the end of the day when you two go to your separate rooms, the action feeling far more awkward than it used to

Or when you're dancing together and Alastor dips you, your faces close and eyes drawn to each other's lips... only to both pull away last minute and instead opt to drink

Or the times when your hands brush together and both of you just want to hold on instead of drawing your hands closer to your bodies

It's downright confusing when you think too much about it, you can't hold it in anymore. Bringing it up to Alastor after your neighbor picks up her kids

He's waving goodbye to them and shutting the door when he turns to see the sullen look on your face

"Y/N, what's the matter? Do you miss them that much? Because they'll be back tomorro-"

"Alastor, what are we doing?"

He immediately knows what you're asking, a question he's been avoiding for sometime now

"We're married, we're doing what married couples do."

You wrap your arms around yourself and sigh before looking away from him

"But we didn't do that before and we don't do everything that married people do. We don't kiss, we don't sleep together, we didn't even really know each other until a few months ago."

He hates to see you looking so unsure of yourself, he gently grabs your hips and pulls you towards him, nuzzling your cheek

"And I apologize for that, I should've done things right the first time. You deserved that and I didn't see it. I just didn't know that loving you could feel this good."

Your heart is hammering as you take in his words, watching him place delicate kisses on your palm and fingers, making them tingle

"You really think you're in love with me?"

Alastor laughs and leans in to press his forehead to yours, staring at you with an amused look on his face

"I think it's about time we shared a bedroom like a real husband and wife, huh?"

He kisses you softly, but with all the heat that his words implied, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to his bedroom

He stops just before pushing the door in with his foot, looking at you with an cheshire-like grin

"You never said if you loved me back~"

It's your turn to grin, placing a finger under his chin and leaning in to kiss him softly

"I'm letting you consummate the marriage, aren't I~?"

[sweetteainthesummerx]

it's nice to have a friend !

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

nhl masterlist !

pairings: jack hughes x shy!reader, jack hughes x bsf!reader, nico hischier x platonic!reader, luke hughes x platonic!reader

warnings: mutual pining, fluff

summary: you gain a best friend and a lover, all in one !

song: it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift

word count: 3.3 k

notes: I love me a reformed bad boy! this is based on this request: here. I hope you like it!

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

school bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow, lost my gloves, you give me one

"are you okay, miss?" a voice asks from behind you, and you jump.

it's a boy. he's real pretty, features the perfect balance between masculine built and delicate feminine.

you're so sure that you're fifty shades of red right now, but he smiles kindly at you.

"sorry, it's just you look really cold." he points at your hands, and the fact that your teeth are chattering.

you realize that you're still silent.

you hate that you're so painfully shy. it's especially hard after you moved from your hometown for work, where the little amount of friends had to bid you goodbye with worry.

sure, you talk to your coworkers, but it's not the same.

"I-i'm okay." you try to smile, but it comes out more like a grimace.

jack, you find out his name is, was raised by his mother to never leave a lady in distress (you almost laugh at that). he offers you his gloves, still warm from his own hands. you thank him quietly, and he grins wide, "you're welcome, sweetheart."

the sidewalk is still covered in snow, but he walks you back to your apartment building, where the two of you find out something else you have in common: you're practically neighbours.

he lives only 4 or 5 doors down from you.

he drops you off, brushing your fingers with his own bigger ones as he tells you to come find him if you need anything at all.

as he watches you enter the safety and warmth of your own apartment, he frowns.

why would he do that? normally he wouldn't care about this kind of stuff, but you looked so cold and down.

so when you offered him that sweet, shy smile, he melts despite the cold jersey weather.

it's weird, because you're very pretty, but he doesn't have the itch to fuck you and leave you.

he wants to know why you're here, what you do, you're favourite colour.

his phone dings with the notification of some instagram model he met up with a week ago. he sighs, turning back from his own door to go meet her.

for some reason, he doesn't want to go.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

"wanna hang out?", yeah, sounds like fun, video games, you pass me a note

you bite your lip, and retract your hand once more. you want to knock, but you...

just do it! you tell yourself, and you knock quickly, wincing.

a boy who is decidedly not jack answers the door.

"uh, hi?" he's tall, with curly hair and a lanky body.

you freeze up a little.

fortunately, jack pops up from behind.

he calls your name, with excitement and surprise. it makes something warm bloom in your chest.

"I brought you guys cookies?" it comes out more like a question, "I brought you guys cookies, because you walked me home last week."

normally, luke would be teasing his older brother - and the fact he was cheesing like an idiot still - but he smells the cookies first.

to your surprise, the younger boy grabs you by the wrist to drag you into the apartment, thanking you for the baked goods.

he offers you a hug, introducing himself.

you're a bit unnerved, but he's so cute, like a little puppy that you hug him back, patting his shoulder while stifling a smile. he reminds you a bit of your own little brother.

jack pouts. no way luke got a hug before him. so he sidles up to you, tucking you under his arm.

"wanna hang out with us? we're playing video games."

you don't know much, but you do know you like how he's looking at you, all soft brown eyes and crooked smile.

so you tuck yourself into the couch.

you find out a lot about both of them: they're brothers who play for the same nhl team - impressive - they can finish a whole batch of cookies in 20 minutes, and they have lots of friends.

people start popping up into the apartment, nico, johnny and so many more large, kind boys who hug you in greeting.

you almost don't mind, especially when jack texts you from across the room.

he's watching you from the kitchen where you're speaking in choppy german to nico. he's worried, because the first time he met you, you were so shy and shaking in your boots.

you all good? I can walk you home if the boys are tiring you out

you look up, a small grin on your face as you shake your head at him.

you look so at home on his couch with his friends, that something blind and unfamiliar stirs in his stomach. he ignores an incoming text from the instagram model he met up with, in favour to watch nico explain german grammar to you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew, twenty questions, we tell the truth

jack thinks you're an angel. he'd come back to the apartment after a really hard game, battered and bruised. you show up to his door like you have been for a while, sometimes when it's just the two of you, sometimes when many of the boys are there.

this time, you're holding a bag in your hands. he sighs as he opens the door, falling into your arms.

"oh-! jack, you're too heavy!" you exclaim, trying to hold his weight. he pouts, leading you to the couch. he pushes you down gently, and you let him.

he snuggles up to you, head cradled by your chest.

he waits for you to coo and fuss over him, because you're just so kind and he finds this unprecedented comfort in you.

you feel like home, despite only knowing him for a few months.

"you okay?" you ask, and he pushes his head into your hands. you smile, getting the message.

you finally scratch his head, and he practically purrs. he settles into you, full weight like a thick blanket as you push through his hair with your nails.

"there you go," you murmur, quiet and loving. he thinks you'd be a good mom someday, and his heart twists when he thinks of you with someone else, making a home.

"can you scratch my back?" he knows he's being whiny, but you brush your thumb over his cheek and nod.

you're about to slip your hand under his shirt, but he sits up, tugging it over his head and returning to you like he always seems to do these days.

he slides his arms under your back, rubbing his head to your stomach.

you flush red, something unfamiliar spiking through your blood. he's all thick, soft muscles, unlike the vanity ones you see on some guys. raw, simple strength to take the hits and deliver them in his sport.

he's so handsome.

you scratch your nails down his back and he shivers.

"cold?" you hum, but he shakes his head.

after a while, he lets you get up because your legs are numb.

"you're too heavy," you grin again, and he complains that you're calling him fat.

he's ridiculous, with his abs under soft skin and big biceps. he still hasn't put his shirt back on.

"so, what's in the bag?" he asks, and you brighten up.

you dump it out on to the couch: it's face masks, eye masks and skin care.

"I like to relax with this, so I thought maybe you would like it?" you ask shyly, "we don't have to-"

"no!" jack exclaims, throwing everything into the bag and standing, "I want to. see what the hype is about."

he's seen the cute couple pictures online with the girl doing the guy's skincare; something about you suggesting it makes his feel ten feet tall.

so that's how he ends up with you on his bathroom counter, himself between your legs as you rub shaving cream onto his face.

"you better not slice me up," he pokes your tummy, and you giggle.

"don't worry, jackpot," you use his nickname, "cant' have the fans mourning your pretty face."

you carefully shave off his stubble, eyes concentrated.

you're so close, and you smell you, and you're so careful with him he wants to kiss you and give you his heart.

you hold his hair back as he washes his face. the act is so intimate, and the whole scene is so domestic that it makes him homesick for something he's never had.

"okay, so I'll put the eye masks on you first, then the clay one."

it's actually pretty relaxing, he has to admit. the eye masks are cool, and the clay mask is a little tight, but he likes to see you smooth it onto your own face, matching his.

he takes his phone, and you slide under his arm, linking yours around his waist.

the both of you smile wide for the mirror selfie, and he makes it his lock screen.

after both of you wash the masks from you - admittedly smoother - skin, he orders a pizza, and you make your way up to the roof.

the light pollution is too bad and he knows that the stars won't be visible, but the pink-inked sky is pretty as your smile.

the two of you talk about everything and nothing: some trick he managed to pull during practice, your co-workers pending divorce, something funny his mom said.

he wishes he could stay here forever, with you.

you, with your soft hair and smile, his too-big hoodie over your shoulders as you lean on him.

he likes seeing you all sleepy and vulnerable, answering his questions quietly.

"do you want a boyfriend?" he asks as the sun goes to bed.

"of course I do," you murmur, "but I just want the right person, at the right time."

he smiles at that. he wants to be that person for you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

you've been stressed out lately? yeah, me too, something gave you the nerve, to touch my hand

"oh, shit." you swear softly, and sophie, your co-worker turned best friend - don't let jack hear that - apologizes.

"sorry! sorry! don't move, bro!" she rubs where the curling iron touched the back of your neck.

"that's gonna leave a mark. I'm sorry, sweetie." she fusses, and you tell her it's okay.

luke and jack are having a party for new years at their place, so you and sophie take that chance to dress up for once.

your makeup is done, so is your hair. you have to admit, sophie's done a real good job.

"yeah, dude. we look hot."

you're wearing a pretty red dress, with thin straps and material that clung to your body.

you were unsure, but Sophie hyped you up enough for you to put it on, and you felt really confident.

except you were a little scared at how short it was.

"hey, girl!" luke exclaimed when you entered their apartment. "you look great. hey, soph!"

he handed you both a drink, scurrying off to greet someone else.

the two of you link hands, trying and laughing while bulldozing through the crowd to get to the living room.

some guy catches soph's eye, and you encourage her to go off and talk to him.

nico finds you, being pushed around by the throng of people, and tucks you under his arm like your a football.

you giggle a little as he manages to navigate the way. jack's sitting on one of the arm chairs, and his eyes brighten when he sees you.

"special delivery!" nico pats your head like he would to his little sister, and you roll your eyes good-naturedly.

the only thing between you is many half-drunk hockey players and drinks on the ground. nico is about to pick you up like a cat, but jack hops his way over, swatting his hands.

"I got it, precious cargo, after all." he slips one hand under your thighs, and another arm wrapped round your waist so you're pressed against his vertically.

you cling to his neck as he makes his way back to his seat, turning you in his arms to fit you onto his lap.

"you look..." he breathes into your ear, "you look gorgeous, baby."

"thanks, jack."

the night continues like normal, until between the sheer amount of people in the apartment and jack's chest pressed against you is making you over heat. as you laugh at one of johnny's jokes you sweep your hair over your shoulder to let your neck breathe.

you feel jack tense beneath you, and he lifts you to stand.

"I-i need a drink," his eyes are panicked and shaky. he bolts, and you stand to go after him. nico and Luke call after you, concerned.

you find him on the roof, leaning over the banister, shoulders shaking.

"jack, honey?" you ask, slipping a hand between his shoulder blades, "do you feel sick?"

the cool air makes goosebumps rise on your skin, even more so when he turns to you, teeth grit.

"no, m'fine. go back to the party."

"not until you tell me-"

"why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?" he blurts out, refusing to look at you.

"huh?" you ask.

"why didn't you tell me? I thought we told each other everything."

"what are you-"

"you don't need to pretend. I know-" he shudders, like it's painful for him to say this, "I know you're..."

"jack-" you start, but he grabs your hands, new determination in his eyes as he draws you close.

"you should know that I'm in love with you. so you have options, baby." his lip is quivering, and his eyes are rimmed with red.

"I-"

"I could treat you better than he could. and I wouldn't hide it, either. we would be so good together..." he's rubbing the length of your arms now, trying to warm you up.

"we already work so well together. we're best friends and you make me laugh so much. you make me feel safe and tethered."

he continues, "and...jeez, baby, you're fucking gorgeous. I just want to press you against a wall and..." he's talking low and heavy in your ear, and you lean closer to him.

"please, just consider me. I wouldn't just leave a hickey on your neck behind your ear and not celebrate new years with you."

"what?" you asked, surprised, "no, that's not a hickey. sophie burnt my neck while curling my hair."

jack colours a brilliant shade of fire work red.

he just got all in his head, seeing you dolled up and loose, that when he saw the mouth sized mark on the smooth nape of your neck, his only thought was: that should've been me.

"fuck."

you've got a teasing smile on your face now, "you loooove me!"

"I am a dumbass."

"a dumbass who loves me." you grin, cupping his neck, smoothing circles over the skin there.

"my offer still stands," he tells you, winding his arms around your waist.

"yes. I love you too, you idiot." the people throughout the apartment building are starting to chant.

3, 2, 1, happy new years!

"happy new years, baby." he says, and he presses his lips softly, and sweetly to yours.

he's so delicate, trying to make sure everything is perfect.

and it is, because he's with you, with the promise of more forever.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

church bells ring, carry me home, rice on the ground looks like snow

"yeah, mom. I know, I've been eating good. my girl's taking care of me."

you hear jack's voice from where you're measuring rice in the pantry. he definitely thinks that the pantry doors are thicker than they are.

you smile, because he takes such good care of you too: he washes your hair in the shower, he carries and stocks your groceries, he always makes sure you're fed and warm when you're too stressed.

and he takes care of you in other ways that makes you warm and all liquidy.

"I'm gonna make her my wife, mom. she's...she's the one. yes, I'll bring her to the lake house for the summer, but I'll have to ask first. okay. bye. love you too."

by that time you've made it out of the room, closer to him. when he says wife, you drop the whole bowl of rice you were holding.

"did you hear that?" jack's ears are pink, but he's got a cheesy smile on his face.

"yeah. you have a really loud voice, honey."

"call me that again." he asks, as you come to stand between his legs as he sits on the barstool of the kitchen counter.

"loud voice," you tease.

he laughs, and when the two of you quiet down, he rests his head on your shoulder.

"I mean it, y'know."

"we've been only dating for like a month," you protest weakly.

"and I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle to me."

"will you cry?"

"no," he lies, even though he's getting a little teary just thinking about it.

"hmm." you kiss him anyways, and Luke finds you there 10 minutes later, still wrapped up together with rice all over the floor.

"you guys are weirdos." he rolls his eyes, making a face as jack kisses your lips again.

"watch it, mister. you're talking to your future sister in law." you joke, and luke jumps, reaching for your hand.

"dude, were you fucking with me?" he whines, "I got all excited too."

jack hollers something insulting his intelligence as you laugh, watching the two boys.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

feels like home, stay in bed, the whole weekend, it's nice to have a friend

jack kisses your forehead as he hands you a plate of food. you bite his cheek as he shrieks.

you laugh, sitting up so he can see his shirt that's practically falling off of your frame.

you and jack had a slow morning, the sun streaming over your naked bodies as you simply enjoyed each other's presence. around noon, he finally got up to shower.

you refused to join him because "no, the two of us showering together would not save water, it would probably waste more."

so he showered, sad and alone, and made breakfast after you went to clean yourself off.

now, watching you eat toast and watch his past game highlights from last weekend, he knows.

he knows it's going to be you, no matter what.

he knows it's you he wants to grow old with, and have three kids - two boys, one girl, he has the names all planned out - and that picket fence shit.

he knows it's you who'll take care of him with your soft hands and heart at the end of the day, and you'll be the one he'll protect and provide for too.

he knows that he loves you like the back of his hand.

and he knows you're his best friend, the love of his life.

so he knows that he wants to make you his wife.

he leans over to his bedside drawer and pulls out a box.

he got it the weekend after the two of you got together, and he's shaking as you turn to him with wide eyes.

"I love you. you're...you're it for me, baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I promise to keep you safe and warm and always finish your plate when you're full," he knows you too well, because your left overs are already on his plate, "and I just want all of you. will you marry me?"

"yes," you breathe, tackling him into the bed with a delighted whoop.

there's no other words to describe it, it's so nice to have you.

it's so nice to have you forever, now.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

[sstxrn-4l]

Matt Sturniolo - NSFW Alphabet

A/N - I'm a devoted Chris girl but I still love Matt the munch😍 also do we like the theme on my page???

Warnings: SMUTTT

A - Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

gets you EVERYTHING. gets a wet towel and cleans you up, gets you a bottle of water and some of his clothes to wear. literally the sweetest. like he could absolutely destroy you and then be all soft and shit.

B - Body part (Thier favorite body part on themself and their partner's)

for him it's definitely his hands. he loves when you look at his veins sticking out when he fingers you. and he loves how good he can make you feel with them.

for you, he LOVES your tits. like literally adores them. not even just in the sexual way either, like they make great pillows too. He loves to watch them bounce every time he thrusts into you.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

Ok I feel like he'd love to cum inside you, but if you're not cool with that then it's definitely gonna be on your stomach or your tits.

D - Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I feel like he'd like to choke you. not enough to hurt you, just slightly. but yeah I think he'd be into that but be scared to tell you cus he doesn't want you to be weirded out

E - Experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

I feel like he for sure has 1, 2 maybe even 3 bodies. he totally knows what he's doing though. even if he only has 1 body. but everyone is different, so once he finds what makes you feel good (it only takes the first time y'all do it for him to figure it out) he's set.

F - Favorite position (goes without saying)

I'd say he really likes cowgirl just so your tits can be right in front of his face. he'd probably take control though, like holding your hips so he can thrust up into you. because even if he wants you on top of him, he definitely still wants to have control.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious during the moment or more goofy?)

This man has to be serious. Like I feel like if something stupid happens he'll laugh for a moment before pounding into you again.

H - Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

Keeps it trimmed for sure. I mean we've all seen the happy trail so he's got some hair. Literally does not give a shit for you. There is no "oh we can't I haven't shaved." Mans will braid that shit if you asked him to.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment?)

He's definitely very intimate. Even if he's breaking your back and calling you a slut, he still lets you know he loves you (I'm so bad at this one wtf)

J - Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

Not very often. He will not hesitate to ask you straightforward. Y'all could be chilling on the couch and this kid's like "can we fuck?" But when he's on tour or you're away for whatever reason, definitely down for phone sex.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I feel like he's got a teeny tiny bit of a breeding kink. Loves to degrade and praise you at the same time. "You're so pretty when you act like a slut." "Such a good girl with my cock down your throat." I think he'd be into spanking, maybe a little little bit of choking.

L - Location (Favorite places to do it)

His favorite is definitely the bedroom. But y'all have probably fucked on every surface of his place and yours. I feel like he'd also love to fuck you in the car. Like he's picking up Nick and Chris and while y'all are waiting for them, he'd fuck you in the backseat.

M - Motivation (What gets them going?)

This one's hard because this man will find everything you do hot. I feel like if you were to whisper dirty things in his ear that would be like the hottest thing in the world. Or you maybe do something that seems innocent but only you two would understand. Play a song in the car that you two fucked to last night??? Gets his memory going and he wants to do everything over again.

N - No (Something they would never do)

Anything that can hurt you more than spanking or choking (knife play, gun play, blood play, etc.) If you're into that shit, great! But he's absolutely never trying it. He also wouldn't be into any anal shit. He's not letting you near his ass and he's not getting near yours. And absolutely no toes are getting sucked. Ever.

O - Oral (Giving, receiving, skill)

This man... he could have you cum in 3 minutes with his tongue. He loves eating you out. He doesn't only to it to please you, like he gets pleasure from eating you out. Of course he loves when you give him a blowjob too. He probably starts off letting you do all the work, but as time goes on, he's full on fucking your face. He also grabs your hair when you give him a blowjob too.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

It really depends on his mood and your mood. If you're feeling insecure or sad and he wants to make you feel better, he's slow, whispering how beautiful you are, taking his time to kiss every single inch of your body. He also is really slow when he wakes up with morning wood and he's still tired. Now, if he's jealous? GOD DAMN. Kid has you babbling about how good it feels. You can't even form a coherent sentence.

Q - Quickie (Their opinion on quickies. How often?)

He's busy. So he doesn't always have time to fuck you right. He probably doesn't like them that much, but they happen pretty often because he's got shit to do. He'd much rather take an hour or two, but desperate times call for desperate measures.1

R - Risk (Are they down to take risks?)

100% he'll try almost anything once, as long as you're okay with it. Now there are things that he wouldn't try, but I already said that stuff for No so I'm not going into it here.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

I think he could go for maybe 2-3 rounds. 4 if y'all haven't seen each other in like a week or two. I think he could last if he needed to, but normally he just wants to cum at the same time as you.

T - Toys (Do they own toys? Who do they use it on?)

He probably owns 1 vibrator. He uses it on you though. The one he owns is probably one of those that can be controlled from an app, and he uses it for when he's recording and you're still at home.

U - Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

GOOD LORD. He will tease you until you're begging to be touched in any way. And if you even think about teasing him, you're in for a long night. Bro is such a tease it's insane.

V - Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

I'd say he's pretty loud, but he also just wants to hear the sounds that you make. He definitely groans in your ear though. He's loud enough that you can always hear him, but he's quiet enough to be able to hear you.

W - Wild Card (A random headcanon)

I think he lowkey wants you to give him head while he's driving, but he doesn't want to ask you in case you're scared he'll crash or something.

X - X-ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Ok so we've all seen how Chris never wears fucking underwear apparently. So assuming they're about the same size, DAMN. So he's definitely long, but probably not super girthy.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high. Like not to the point where it's an unhealthy addiction, but you're just hot as hell, it's not his fault. AT LEAST 3-4 times a week.

Z - Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep after?)

Always waits for you to fall asleep first. As soon as he knows you're sleeping, he's out.

YAYYYYY it's been like 3 weeks and I finally finished one of the two projects I'm working on!!! I might have to do a Chris versionnnnn

[veronicawildest]

VEDIC ASTRO NOTES #2

by veronicawildewest

(disclaimer: if you get it, you get it. If you don't, go fv' k yourselves)

🖍️ 1st lord connected to 6th house (Vedic astrology) - The characteristics you dislike the most in your enemy, the same behavior you have, but you don't notice it in yourself. Me VS myself is the theme of these natives. (I can attest to this; I have this placement personally. I just realized it and am working on myself)

🖍️What I often see in Vedic astrology texts is that Venus Ketu is disinterested in love, which I find ridiculous. Venus Ketu natives are some of the most intense people I know when it comes to love, obsessive to the point that they have a hard time letting go. Maybe it's because Venus aspects Rahu even though Venus is conjunct Ketu. Ketu will not work without Rahu (and vice versa).

🖍️When transit Saturn aspects one of your luminaries, there are two possibilities I can think of:

Saturn will make you feel the consequences of every decision you make.

You will also experience situations where you need to use dedication/hard work wherever Saturn transits in your natal chart.

🖍️I can't understand the stereotypical "tropical Virgos are hardworking." No, they're not, especially Purva Phalguni Nakshatra.

🖍️However, some stereotypes I understand are why "tropical Scorpios are dark, mysterious, and possessive." They are Sidereal Libra. That's the characteristic of Venus. Fixation on the other half? Venus. Specifically on the Nakshatras, Vishakha Nakshatra.

🖍️The stereotypes that I understand are:

"Why (tropical) Geminis are so charming?" The nakshatras Mrigashira and Rohini are connected to obsession. They have many stalkers (or some of them stalk, but either way, they have many more stalkers).

"Why (tropical) Cancers are known to be manipulative?" Because of the sidereal Gemini. Mercury rules manipulation. It's the Magician for a reason. The motherly aspect and crybaby behavior are because of the teardrop symbolism of the Ardra and the Aditi deity of the nakshatra Punarvasu.

🖍️While discovering and learning about Vedic astrology, I appreciate Western astrology more, not because I hate Vedic (I love both of them). It's just that some stereotypes have been made about tropical/Western astrology, which I listed above. They're not biased (well, it depends on the person, but the system itself isn't) because they explain and intertwine things that I find really interesting and beautiful.

🖍️Additional note to the observation that I made about the Rahu-Ketu axis and trends. The quarantine started when Gemini/Sagittarius and Taurus/Scorpio were in the nodes. It really makes sense to me why TikTok grew in popularity over that time because of Gemini (attention span thing). The Taurus/Scorpio thing represents the finances of countries that are affected when it comes to it (the obvious one is transformation because Scorpio is here). Also, Joe Biden was elected as the President of the U.S.A.

When Rahu is in Aries/Ketu in Libra transits:

Queen Elizabeth died. (sidereal Aries sun)

SZA dropped an album. One of her songs is "Kill Bill," very influenced by Bharani nakshatra (credits to Claire).

🖍️I know they have a placement of Aries and Libra, but these are the topics that are the talk of the town and memorable when you start remembering the year.

🖍️Vedic Twitter is weird. Sometimes, on the other hand, some of their observations really make sense. The weird thing that I found is the romanticization of Moon-Mars synastry. I have this with someone (I am the Moon person). I really hated it. They made me trigger anger in me. Not lust, but pure rage that I don't really like expressing.

🖍️The petty ones that I know are moon nakshatra natives (Rohini, Hasta, Shravana). I just don't agree that (I found someone tweeted about it) Moon nakshatra women are "girl's girl," "support nice women." Eh no, not that they hate other women but no. They just don't, and that's ok. They don't hate women, but they don't support it either if that makes sense (if you get it, you get it)

Additional note to this: Ironically, Hasta is the maiden archetype of nuns (that Claire Nakti mentions in her video), but they're the horniest ones I know too.

🖍️I love that Tropical Sagittariuses are known to be happy, free, and wild (looking directly at Miley Cyrus because she has a sidereal Scorpio stellium). It makes much more sense when Mars is at home in Scorpio. These natives are blunt too. The "darkness" that makes Scorpio a Scorpio is the transformation and hardships they've gone through. Different from Libra though.

🖍️9th house/12th house/Jupiter aren't appreciated as much by me. They're literally about beliefs. Your subconscious/unconscious self. Connection to manifestation for me. That's why they oppose the mercurial signs (magician) and mutable signs. They speak (3rd house)/act (6th house) on what they fear (12th house) or believe (9th house).

It's applicable for all people, you literally don't need a strong Jupiter/Jupiter Rashi to manifest easily.

[viccharine]

do you guys ever listen to a band so much that you end up making fake merch for it?

(reblogs greatly appreciated!!!!)

close ups and commentary under the cut!

about the poster itself: do you guys know how hard it is to make art for a band that hasn’t been active in 13 years? the answer is HARD (yes, i probably could done research and looked for old interviews for inspiration but who has time for that)

—> the icons related to “take a vacation!” are inspired by lyrics from the song “take a vacation!” (haha, did you see what I did there?) specifically, the lines “we’ll leave the waves at the ocean” and “we’ll leave the sand in a suitcase”

—> the Jon Walker and Ryan Ross icons are taken directly from the album cover (it took ten years off my life trying to figure out how to get them on here w/ the color palette—graphic design may be my passion but I never said i was GOOD at it)

—> the heart imagery comes from the fact that the band’s called “the young VEINS”—although it annoys me IMMENSELY that i technically drew more arteries than veins in the icons (my anatomy teacher would be so disappointed, but alas, anatomical accuracy had to be sacrificed to make it. yknow. look nice)

—> i did hand-lettering for all the text except for everything that’s in Helvetica (i did THAT in canva). the art program i use has a basically unusable text tool so I was forced to draw all of it, so I choose to believe that the reason why it doesn’t look. the best. is because of the caffeine shakes

some extra commentary: am I the only one who’s genuinely REALLY bad at listening to music? i don’t really get into bands as much as i just find songs that sound nice—to illustrate the extent of this issue: i did NOT know that Brendon Urie was a part of Panic! At the Disco. I’m not even kidding, I thought the artist who made Death of a Bachelor and the artist who made A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out were completely different and just. didn’t bother to check if I was right.

also, I’m not the type of person to be interested in band lore???? I rarely know the names of band members if even I’ve listened to the band for years (I really couldn’t care less in most situations)

case in point, i did not know who the FUCK Ryan Ross was!!! i knew he was in p!atd but that’s literally about it—before a couple of days ago if you asked to me pick out either Ryan Ross or Jon Walker from a line up I would not be able to get even CLOSE

anyway, my friend/manager is really into band lore, so I basically got a crash-course in all things “early to late 2000s emo band” and subsequently found out about the Young Veins (i was also extremely disappointed when I found out they only had one album and hadn’t been active in over a decade) THEN I realized that decade old, inactive bands don’t usually have merch, so I made my own! “merch” used lightly—i don’t think this is actually fit to sell lol

anyway that’s all k thanks byeee :D!! (and go stream the young veins!!)

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Accent

Jaskier has a Northern accent that he works really hard to hide. He learned early on that most people, especially among the nobility, considered Northerners to be lower than peasants. A Northern accent was a black mark on the person, labeling them as bumpkins or hill folk.

Jaskier saw how anyone with an accent even remotely close to Northern was ridiculed and bullied both inside and outside of Court. So he spent a lot of time practicing speaking in a Court accent until he perfected it.

By the time he went off to study in Oxenfurt, he had become comfortable with the new accent, and it sounded completely natural. He didn't have to worry about being looked down on, or ridiculed, and he discovered that a lot of people found a Court accent attractive.

But there was always that fear that he was going to slip and some one would find out about his Northern accent. He was terrifed when he started following Geralt, and when he met Yennefer.

Geralt never said anything, but he could hear that Jaskier's accent wasn't natural. There were slight differences in inflection, and pronunciation, and tiny inconsistencies that normal humans would never notice but a Witcher's sensitive ears easily picked up on. Whatever the reason was for the affectation was none of Geralt's business.

The more time Geralt spent with Jaskier, the more he noticed the little slips in this Court accent. He figured out the reason for the fake accent when he started hearing his real accent come through.

Geralt remembered the first time Jaskier's accent had slipped out.

The had made camp after a long day of entertaining at the town festival. Jaskier had been very tired, and he was upset about a few things Valdo Marx had said to him. He'd laughed it off, turning the insults and insinuations into an improv song that had the crowd laughing and cheering him boistrously before sweeping him away to the closest inn for a round of drinks while Valdo stood fuming impotently.

But now that they were alone, he'd allowed himself to feel the hurt, and his accent had taken on a sing-songy quality, and he'd gone hard on his T's for a second when he referred to Valdo Marx as "that b**tart!"

Oh, f**k!

Jaskier internally panicked the second he realized he'd dropped his affected accent. Ok, calm down! Maybe he didn't hear. You know he tunes you out most of the time. Act natural, pretend like everything is normal!

Jaskier continued rummaging through his pack, sneaking a quick glance at Geralt while continuing to insult Valdo as he shook out his bedroll, flapping the blanket aggresssively before laying it out. Geralt seemed oblivious, his attention on gathering deadfall for the fire and digging out the fire pit.

Jaskier allowed himself to breathe a silent sigh of relief. The Witcher hadn't noticed. Thank all the gods!

Geralt was scraping out a little pit for the fire when he heard Jaskier drop his accent for just a second. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the bard freeze for a split second, and Geralt calmly continued with his task as if he hadn't noticed. All the while he was thinking "He has a Northern accent! No wonder he sounds off sometimes!"

From then on, Geralt started really listening, intrigued and wanting to hear more of his real voice. He caught little snatches of it here and there, mostly when Jaskier was drunk, tired, upset, or excited. Or when he thought he was alone, and was composing a song or poem.

Geralt was always careful to never let on that he noticed when that lovely, sing-songy accent slipped out. It was hard, forcing himself to keep that big stupid smile off his face that threatened to come out whenever he heard Jaskier 'go Northern'.

When Yennefer came into the picture, Jaskier was on edge, constantly on guard to keep his Northern accent hidden. She was the last person he wanted to find out about it.

She already hates me. No reason to make her think I'm stupid, too!

He did an excellent job of hiding it, not wanting to give the witch any ammunition in their perpetual war of words. He finally bonded with her, saw her as family like he did Geralt, and he doubled down on keeping his accent a secret.

He could talk to her about anything, show her every side of him, like he could with Geralt, but the accent was one thing he did not want to share. He was terrified that she would look at him differently. That both of them would. He didn't think his heart would survive that.

Yennefer had been fighting for her life the first time she heard Jaskier's Northern accent come out.

Jaskier had caught a fever while performing in one of the towns. He was delirious, and Yennefer had been getting him to drink a potion and he'd just completely dropped his affected accent as he started talking random nonsense to her.

She had paused as she was tucking him back in, staring at him in disbelief as he chattered on.

Yennefer had squealed in lowercase.

"Oh! My! Gods! He's, he's got a-!"

"Northern accent. I know. He's been faking a Court accent-!"

"I know what it is, and it's f***ing cute!"

"Gods you sound like a giddy little maid!"

"Like you can say anything, Geralt, when you're standing there grinning like a boy who's just gotten his first peek at a pair of tits!"

Yennefer and Geralt never let on that they knew, and it bothered them that Jaskier didn't seem to feel like he could trust them. They understood why he was hiding it, though, so they satisfied themselves with enjoying the rare times when it slipped out.

It was not heavy, like many Northerners' accents were. Jaskier's accent was lighter, more delicate, but it did tend to get heavier when he was in an emotional state.

They did their best to pretend they didn't notice the little lapses, but they couldn't help but smile when it happened. And Jaskier eventually figured out that they both knew--had known for a while.

Yennefer had run into them in town, and they were having dinner in their room at the inn. Jaskier had been chattering on about how one of his sets had gone, and he'd gotten a little too excited. Yennefer's eyes had gone soft and...and sparkly, and she'd glanced at Geralt, whose face was lit up with the sunniest smile which he was desperately trying to hide behind his tankard of ale.

OhHhH f**K, tHeY'd hEaRd iT!!!! He froze, going stock still. Any minute now, they were going to start lauging at him.

Geralt just smiled and took another drink while Yennefer just kept looking at him with that, that adoring look. That was when he knew.

"When?" Jaskier had asked, mortified after he realized.

Geralt had swallowed his ale with a thoughtful 'Hm' and replied. "A few days after you started following me around. Your accent sounded off, but I wasn't sure why. Figured it out after you started b*tching about Valdo Marx one night."

Jaskier mentally kicked himself. Of course a Witcher would have been able to tell!

"And you?", he asked Yennefer

"That time you had that bad fever. You babbled on in the most intriguing accent about everything under the heavens. We got to listen to it for two whole days!"

Jaskier hid his face in his hands, dinner forgotten as he slid down in his chair with an embarrassed groan.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because we knew why you were hiding it, Lark", Yennefer said, "I've been in Court. I know how the nobility are."

"You don't have to hide it anymore. Not around us," Geralt said.

"You...you don't think I sound...stupid?"

Yennefer tapped him on the head with her empty plate as she walked by, "No, you little b*llend! It's sing-songy and cute, and you sound adorable!"

It took him some time, but he was finally able to let himself relax and stop using the adopted accent with Yennefer and Geralt.

He would forget sometimes, because he was a performer, and an act could be hard to put aside. Especially if it had helped you survive for so many years.

It would sometimes take an hour or two after a long day of performing for the public for Geralt and Yennefer's 'Sing-Songy Twit' to relax enought to drop the Court accent and be himself. And when he did, one of them would always say warmly "There you are, Jaskier!"

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

First outings

main masterlist

older!eddie munson x popstar!reader Universe

word count: 1.8 k

warnings: suggestive (no smut)

Eddie hadn’t gotten a girl’s number like that in years. On a napkin? God, were they in high school? And worst of all, he has no idea how to do things nowadays. He shouldn’t call that night, he would look too eager; but he couldn’t wait, he was eager. Y/N was the only thing running through his mind. 

And he couldn’t believe he did it in front of Isla. He had worked hard for years to keep her and Leo far out of his dating life. He was sure that in their mind, Eddie had been out of the game for 10 years. That was probably why Isla felt her father needed her help in finding a girlfriend. 

Eddie had about enough of his mind running around, thinking of excuses to get him out of calling, he had done it all last night. And it was now the next morning after meeting Y/N. He decided to text her. Should he call? She said to call. No. He is not overthinking. He is just texting her. 

Eddie

Hey. It’s Eddie.

Y/N

Hey!

I’m glad you texted

I was worried you forgot about me

Eddie

Please, I could never forget you sweetheart.

Y/N

I’m going to be NY for a week 

I have a break in tour so maybe we could meet up

Eddie

I would really like that. Are you free tonight?

Y/N

Yes! I’ll see you tonight?

Eddie 

Yeah, just send me where you're staying. I’ll pick you up at 7:00.

Y/N

I’m looking forward to it

After that sent her address, and Eddie after staring at his phone in disbelief. Walked downstairs to start making breakfast for himself and Isla. On the outside, he looked cool, calm, and collected, but on the outside he felt like a damn 12 year old girl. 

Y/N on the other hand, had no reason to hide her emotions. After her text conversation with Eddie, she put on one of Taylor Swift’s happiest and youthful love songs to dance around to. After her impromptu dance break, calling her friends to scream at, and also to have help picking out what to wear when she meets Eddie later.

“How old is Eddie Munson?” her best friend, Joey, mumbled as Y/N could hear some keyboard clips.

“Don’t look him up, Jo”

“46! Y/N as your best friend I need to make sure this guy is not a creep!”

“I know the age gap is a lot, but I don’t know how to explain it, we clicked.”

“Okay. I’m going to support you, I trust your judgement more than anyone. But as soon as I hear one bad thing-”

“I know. How about this?” Y/N held a black, pleated, mini skirt up to her body for her friend to on their facetime call. 

“Oh! Yes! Then with your dark red corset- bodice top thing.”

“Okay, then what jacket?”

“A small one, so he can give you his.”

“Of course, so this good?” Y/N said, showing a black crochet shrug.

“Perfect. Okay, I have to go now. Love you, turn on your location so I know you're okay.”

“Okay, I will. Love you too!”

After Y/N hung up, and had her outfit picked, she decided to get ready. She had 6 hours, but a lot to do. 

-

Eddie was on his way to pick up Y/N. Isla was at a friend's house, and he had their whole night planned. Coming up to where Y/N was staying, he had been nervous the whole drive. But when he rang her doorbell, and Y/N answered it was like all that was wrong in his world, melted away. She was gorgeous, as always, but knowing that she was dressed up and got ready to go out with him made it a million times better. 

“Hi.”

“Hi, Eddie.” Y/N said, with a smile that took up her whole face. They began walking to his car, a black Mercedes, with Eddie opening the door for Y/N to get in.

“You’re such a gentleman.”

“A woman as beautiful as you deserves a lot more.” Eddie said, closing the door and rounding the car to his side. He started driving. Where? Y/N had no clue.

“So, where are you taking me?”

“For our first stop, dinner.”

“First stop? What are we doing after?”

“That you have to wait for.”

“I don’t like waiting. I’m very impatient, and I also don’t like surprises. So it’s not looking like a good start for you.”

“I’m sure I can make up for it.”

When they got to the restaurant, Eddie again opened Y/N’s door, his hand gently grabbing hers out to help her out of the car. Their fingers laced together as they walked to the front door of the restaurant. The restaurant itself wasn’t super trendy where a lot of celebrities hung out, but Eddie did frequent it quite often with clients or friends, so there were a couple paparazzi’s outside. Luckily the camera flashes stopped when they were placed at a table near the back. 

By the time the food came, any awkwardness that there was between the two was long gone. Talking about yourselves, and Eddie’s kids. You both just felt comfortable with each other.

“I was an actress early in my career, I was on disney channel.”

“Yes, Isla watched you on.. What was it? World- Girl Meets World”

“Yeah, Isla is very sweet. I loved meeting her. You guys seem close.” Y/N says, reaching for her glass of white wine.

“She loved meeting you too. You’re one of her favourite people, you and Taylor Swift.”

“That’s something me and her can bond over then.” 

“Are we all done here? Do you want dessert/ Or just the check?”

“No, just the check please.” Eddie responded to the waitress.

-

“So, where to now?”

“You were right, you are very impatient.”

“I just like knowing the plan. So, what's your favourite movie?”

“Why?”

“Well, this is so going well. I've decided that I will plan our next date.”

“Oh, you’ve decided.” 

“Yes, and I’m not going to torture you, by not telling you plan.”

“Oh, thank you” Eddie says, looking over at Y/N briefly, seeing the proud look on her face, making him smile as he looks back towards the road.

“We will be doing a movie marathon, and I thought it would be so kind of me to include some of your favourites. So what are they?” 

“Um.. Well I guess Back to the Future is a good one, Labyrinth is great.” Eddie trails of, looking towards Y/N, seeing her looking at him with a huge smile taking up the whole bottom of her face. “What?” Eddie asks, waiting to be in on the joke, and know what Y/N is finding so funny.

“It’s just.. Those are such old man answers!”

“Hey!”

“No! I have kept that back all night. You should be happy that I didn’t say it earlier, and I find it cute.” That makes Eddie feel way better and less self-conscious about his age. 

“What did I do before?”

“Well… For one, how you text.”

“How do I text old?”

“You use full punctuation.”

“.. What else?”

-

They finally got to their second location. The grocery store.

“If I knew you were going to be running your errands I would have brought my grocery list.” Y/N says while using Eddie’s hand to help herself out of the car. Grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together as they walked to the glass sliding doors.

“We are not going grocery shopping, we are getting ingredients to make cookies for dessert.” The older man said, leaning down slightly to talk into Y/N’s ear. Y/N loved the idea, it sounded so cute. Baking cookies together on their first date. 

They grabbed a basket, grabbing what they would need, Y/N only getting recognized once. And when they were done, Eddie drove them back to his place. 

-

Eddie’s penthouse was gorgeous, much larger than Y/N’s. His kitchen being twice the size of her own, and looking well loved. Imagining Eddie cooking for himself and Isla here brought butterflies to her stomach, hoping one day she could join in. 

They went on with baking cookies, and listening to music, music Eddie would call his childhood favourites, and what Y/N would call oldies. But they found common ground on their music taste, turns out what Eddie had grown listening to with his uncle Wayne was music Y/N loved too. 

With ‘Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic’ playing Y/N insists on dancing. Pulling at Eddie’s hand while he’s cleaning the counter.

“Dance with me.”

“I’m really not a dancer.”

“I won’t judge. I just want to dance with you.” And when she looks at him like that, how is Eddie ever supposed to say ‘no’ to her again in his life? So of course he says ‘yes’. Beginning to dance with Y/N, while they both fall in love with each other.

-

After Eddie puts their cookies in the oven, he begins to walk over to the couch where Y/N is sitting. 

“Now, I know you’re planning our second date as a movie night, but I had already planned to ask you to pick a movie for us to watch.”

“I guess I can forgive you for clearly stealing my idea, because I love movies.”

“Thank you.”

Y/N had picked a movie, but shortly into watching, their travelling hands quickly got to work. Long ago distracting them from the chosen entertainment.

Their lips pressed together, moving together. Eddie’s tongue licking Y/N’s bottom lip, asking for access, her quickly allowing his tongue full rein. Her hands find their home in his long curls. His hands feeling up from her thighs, to her ass, to her waist, until finally he keeps them planted in one spot on her ass. Lifting slightly to aid in Y/N’s journey to move herself to sit on his lap. 

Y/N begins to kiss down Eddie’s neck, while moving her hips back and forth on his hard cock. All the while Eddie begins to untie Y/N’s top from behind her back, before asking, “This okay?” “Yes.” Eddie finally gets Y/N’s top untied, letting it fall down her shoulders, exposing her chest, as she didn’t need to wear a bra with the shirt. 

“God, you’re gorgeous. What did I do to deserve this?” He mumbles, beginning to kiss, and suck at her neck, causing Y/N to moan. 

At this Eddie stands, not being able to not be inside her, or tasting her, for a second longer, Eddie begins walking towards his bedroom, with Y/N wrapping her legs around his hips, to help support her weight. Eddie carries Y/N, walking up the stairs, and closing the door with his foot behind them. Completely forgetting about the movies still playing downstairs.  

~taglist~

@whoscamila

[mingtinys]

Silent Cry

pairing : jung wooyoung x gn!reader

angst , hurt / comfort , a lil fluff if u squint

warnings : language , themes of depression and isolation , nudity (not explicit or detailed) , just heavy content in general

word count : 3.5 k

requested ? no

a/n : this one has been sitting in the drafts for quite some time as i just never felt good enough about posting it as it's a little different from what i usually write about . but i did promise a wooyoung fic , so here it is !! (and yes , this fic was slightly inspired by the skz song)

It's not often you find yourself angry beyond reason, in fact, you'd like to think yourself a rather patient individual. But at the end of the day, a rather shitty one at that, there's only so much you can excuse or find reason with. Only so much silence and disrespect you can take before something inside you snaps and pushes down the logical side of your brain that's desperately trying to convince you "there's gotta be a good reason, Wooyoung would never purposely ignore you." Bullshit.

If he didn't want to go out tonight? Fine. That's not your issue. But standing you up without, at the very least, a courtesy call? You've wracked your brain all day, and there's just not much you can think of to justify the utter embarrassment and betrayal he put you through tonight. So you let your rage carry you the entire thirty-minute walk from your usual restaurant to the dorms and wait to be let in.

Not that there was much to begin with, your expectations having been severely degraded for the night, but the last twinge of hope you'd allowed to fester dies when your aggressive knocks on the KQ dorms summon San in leu of Wooyoung. He looks startled, but moreover just exhausted. "Y/N," He breathes out a greeting, quickly waving you inside. You don't quite pick up on it at first, but he sounds almost relieved to see you.

"Is he here?" You ask immediately, stepping into the empty area of the living room, between the TV stand and L–shaped couch. Yunho and Yeosang are there too, they peer at you through solemn eyes and let out their own sighs, matching San.

Yeosang rubs at his face, pulling the skin as he drags his palms down until they slip from his jaw and land in his lap. "Wooyoung? He's in his room."

You scoff, "That asshole–"

It's Yunho who moves first, standing and catching your arm before you can storm off to confront the object of your frustration.  "Woah, wait, what's going on?" It takes everything in you not to yank your arm from his gasp. You're mad at Wooyoung, not Yunho, you remind yourself.

"He's been ignoring me for the past three days and now he's missed our date night." You explain with a huff. Yunho drops your arm and looks between San and Yesoang. Their glances are far too knowing and not enough explaining, it irks you even further.

"What? Am I missing something here?"

Your impatience prompts another glance between the three boys before San finally elects himself to speak. "He won't really talk to us either," San frowns. "He's been acting kind of . . . weird."

"We got snapped at when we tried to offer grabbing dinner together earlier." Though Yeosang sounds just about as annoyed as you, there's something more behind his eyes that sends a pang through your heart. Worry? Helplessness? Guilt, perhaps? You try not to read too much into it.

"Well, he doesn't get to be an asshole about it."

"I agree," The group nods at your statement. "But listen, don't be too hard on him, alright? I don't think he's feeling too great." Yunho chooses his words with surgical-like precision. The phrase "I don't think he's feeling too great" sticks in your mind and leaves a bitter taste on the tip of your tongue.

"Noted." With that, you turn on your heels and start down the hall to Wooyoung's room, no one intervenes or follows this time.

You rasp three times on the wooden door with your knuckles, and thrice more when your first attempt yields no response. It's just silence, and after an internal debate between impatience and hesitancy, you reach for the knob and twist.

The door only opens but a few inches when a loud huff resonates through the pitch-black room. "I told you guys to leave me alone," Wooyoung croaks, his voice raspy and raw.

You ignore his request and allow yourself in anyways, shutting the door behind you and enveloping the room in near darkness. The poor lighting situation unfortunately doesn't do much in terms of masking the clutter you're faced with upon second glance. Various piles of clothes are haphazardly strewn about, making the room feel more like a maze than a habitable environment. Open and unfinished food containers cast a rather unpleasant aroma that clings to your olfactory senses and causes your nose to scrunch up involuntarily.

Wooyoung himself lays in bed, wrapped in a thick cocoon of blankets with his back turned to the door. A faint glow highlights the portions of his face visible to you and you can just barely pick up on a popular TikTok audio playing on a loop over the hum of the A/C unit.

You stop a few feet from him. "Oh, so your phone is working. Good to know."

Wooyoung's head whips around with lightning speed, eyes blown wide with surprise. "Y/N? Why are you here?"

You roll your eyes at his incredulous expression. "Do you have any idea what day it is?"

He thinks for a moment, hazy eyes scanning the room, and then you. He blinks once, twice, a third time. "Thursday?"

"It's Saturday, Wooyoung."

"Oh."

He visibly deflates, sinking further into the safety of his blanket and flipping back to his side, leaving you to spill your grievances to the back of his head. "Is that all you have to say? I waited alone for you to show up for nearly two hours, and all you have to say is 'oh.'?"

"I'm sorry." He doesn't sound it. "I'm not really sure what else you want me to say."

Your fists ball up at your sides with how apathetic he is. It's just so unlike him, giving you the cold shoulder as opposed to greeting you with eager kisses and excited giggles. A knot ties itself tightly in your gut and twists uncomfortably. You uncurl your fingers and wriggle them, trying to release the built-up tension. Forcing a calmness into your voice that honestly, you aren't sure how you manage, you speak.

"Woo, why are you being like this?" You cross your arms over your chest, preparing to protect yourself from another very likely short response from your boyfriend. "You could have at least told me you weren't coming, or texted to let me know you were okay. . ."

He huffs again. "Fine. I'm sorry I flaked. I'm an asshole, I get it. Now please leave, I'm not in the mood."

It should make you even angrier. His complete disregard for how he's talking to you, the careless attitude he uses to cover up whatever he's actually feeling. But you've known Wooyoung for too long, and something must be seriously wrong for him to behave how he is. The knot in your stomach coils even tighter and stretches into your chest, constricting your airways. You're starting to understand why Yeosang looked so worried.

You manage to suck down a deep breath that allows your prior frustration to dissipate just enough so you can keep a cool head, even if he can't. You choose your next words carefully, dropping your voice down to a patient whisper.

"I don't wanna leave without knowing you're okay, but if you say you are . . . then I'll believe you, I won't pry any further."

The room descends into an uncomfortable silence, broken only by the increasingly rapid and jagged breathing of the boy in front of you. Something halfway between a choked sob and hiccup bubbles up from the confines of his throat. The uncharacteristic sound is worse than anything you've heard pass through his lips before. It nearly splits your heart right down the middle.

"Baby," you coax. "Tell me what you need and I'll do what I can." You take a seat on the edge of his bed, and rest your palm where his shoulder is just beneath the blanket, lightly squeezing to try and initiate some form of comfort.

Wooyoung crumbles all too quickly for what your heart can handle. He shrinks even further as he curls into a loose ball. One hand shoots out from under his fortress to grip yours that rests on his shoulder. He cradles your hand against his chest, holding on the way a frightened child would. Cry after cry tumbles from his lips in a wretched sound, something akin to that of shattering glass on cold tile.

"I don't know," he gasps out. "I don't fucking know!"

"Okay, okay," you coo, using your free hand to repeatedly comb through strands of his messy, unwashed hair. "It's okay." You aren't sure what to say, and you're terrified you'll say the wrong thing, so you opt for nothing at all. You simply let Wooyoung cry, trusting that eventually, he'll let you know what he needs, even if it's just the rest of the night alone.

You aren't sure how long the two of you sit in silence or when Wooyoung's sobs finally begin to taper out to sniffles. Though what he says next sends your heart plummeting to your stomach and snags the air from your lungs.

"I just wanna be good enough." He confesses.

Your fingers freeze in his hair as you try to process some type of response, but the best you can get out is "What do you mean?"

"I just. . . I just feel— like shit. Like a shit friend, a shit boyfriend, a shit idol, a shit person. I feel disgusting."

Realistically, you know there's nothing in the world you can say in this moment to relieve the anguish he feels. You can let praise after praise for him fall from your lips, but they'd never reach his ears. Not when he's already convinced himself he isn't worthy of them. But that doesn't stop you from wanting to at least try. Even if it only relieves a fraction of what he feels. And you think maybe if you can't heal his mind, you can at least make sure he's physically okay.

You give his hand that's still clutching yours to his chest a squeeze. "Why don't we make something to eat, hm? You must be hungry?" But he shakes his head.

"Some tea then? Water?" He shakes his head again.

"Baby, you gotta do something to take care of yourself."

Wooyoung lets out a shaky sigh, "I don't want them to see me, not like this." You piece together he must be talking about his members. Which means no venturing out to the kitchen for food or drinks.

"Okay, maybe a bath then?"

He thinks for a moment, but surprises you when he, albeit reluctantly, agrees. Maybe he's caught on that you won't be giving up until he does at least something. Maybe he's just trying to appease you so you'll stop pestering him. Or maybe he just genuinely wants to. Whatever the reason, you're happy for it.

You slip your hand from his grasp and whisper that you'll get the water started and for him to take all the time he needs. When the tub fills and bubbles form from the bath solution you poured in, you come back to find him unraveled from his nest of blankets and sitting on the edge of his bed. You smooth his hair back and he looks up at you with sad eyes.

"It's ready whenever you are. I'll give you some time to get undressed and settle in, okay?"

The way he nods is robotic and the glassy and distant reflection in his eyes drives daggers through your heart. You wonder if he even heard you, but then he meekly rises to his feet, rubbing at stiff joints on the way up. He disappears to the bathroom moments before two knocks resonate from the wooden door.

You open it by just a crack, fully preparing to shoo off whoever it is as per Wooyoung's wishes. But when you're met face to face with a disheveled red-eyed Yeosang, you don't have the heart to tell him to go away. So you take a quick peek to make sure Wooyoung is shut away in the bathroom before opening his door the rest of the way.

Yeosang peaks around the dim room. "Is Wooyoung okay?" He whispers.

You offer up as good of a smile as you can despite the circumstances. You're not sure you've ever seen Yeosang so concerned. "He will be," you assure. The blond boy in front of you nods and mumbles out his own affirmations of Wooyoung's well-being.

"Uh, I know he probably doesn't want the extra attention right now, but could you give him this for me?" Yeosang extends a water bottle and two bags of snacks for you to take. "Oh– and San asked me to give this as well." He untucks what looks like a stuffed dog from under his arm and hands it to you as well with the utmost care. "Shiber is his favorite, but San said he thinks Wooyoung needs him more tonight."

"I'll let him know," you speak softly and Yeosang nods, but doesn't leave. He just stands there, nervously looking around and shifting from side to side. "Are you okay?" You ask.

"He scares me when he's like this."

"It's happened before?"

Yeosang nods. "Not a lot, but sometimes he just gets too caught up in his own head and shuts everyone out. I know he'll be fine, he always is . . . But he's my best friend, you know? It hurts."

You nod, understanding exactly what he means. It's hard, watching someone you love struggle and not knowing how to help them. "Yeah, I know. If it's any solace, he did get out of bed." You check over your shoulder to make sure Wooyoung hasn't reappeared. "Hopefully washing up makes him feel a little better."

The information causes a sad smile to lift the corners of Yeosang's lips. "Thank you for taking care of him."

"I'll try to keep you updated or let you know if he needs anything."

Yeosang nods, "Please do."

The two of you say your goodbyes and you shut the door back as softly as possible before setting the items Yeosang brought on his bed and returning to the door of the bathroom. You knock a few times, making sure it's okay that you enter, to which you only receive a half-hearted hum as permission. You peer in and see the tub still remains untouched. Frowning, you step fully inside to find Wooyoung stood in front of his sink mirror, seemingly lost in thought as he stares at his reflection.

His t-shirt lays discarded on the counter, leaving him shivering in just his red plaid boxers. His eyes are sad as they roam over his own figure, lips pursed in a thin line, expression one of disappointment. He takes in a deep breath, chest puffing out as it fills with air and deflates seconds later. Trembling, he wraps his arms around his torso and drops his gaze to the porcelain sink.

You take it upon yourself to slip into the space between him and the mirror, effectively blocking his ability to look even if he wanted to. You tilt your head enough to gaze at him from below, finding his eyelids squeezed shut and his jaw tensed.

Wooyoung's breath hitches when you place a gentle palm on his cheek, but he relaxes into the warmth of it twice as fast. You lift his head, thumb working to rub half circles into the damp skin.

You press a feathery kiss to the space between his eyes, and the action causes them to flutter open. "Hi, my beautiful boy." His bottom lip quivers the tiniest amount.

"C'mon, it'll get cold if we wait too long, yeah?"

He nods and tries to take one last look in the mirror, but you keep his face from turning enough to do so and he doesn't even try to fight you on it. Your hand slips from his cheek and reaches out for his, taking it and leading him over to the steaming tub.

"I'll grab some towels for when you're done." You offer, though it's more of an excuse to give him some privacy while he finishes undressing and slips in. You can only imagine how vulnerable he feels right now and it only feels right to extend that courtesy.

When you return he's fully submerged, covered by the opaque and foamy water. "I set out some shampoo and stuff earlier, but if you need anything else just call out, okay?" You say, crouching beside the tub and using the edge of it to rest your hands for balance. "Would it be okay if I cleaned up your room a bit?"

Wooyoung thinks for a moment, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "I won't if you don't want me to." You give him an out.

"Actually, um . . . Could you maybe just sit with me for a little? Please." His eyes flit back and forth between you and the still water.

"Of course," you whisper, using the tub's edge to push yourself to stand. You swiftly discard your own clothes and fold them up on the counter along with Wooyoung's. "Scoot up a bit," you instruct, and he does. Carefully, as to not splash any water, you step in and lower yourself into the warm liquid. Your back rests against the wall of the tub with Wooyoung positioned between your legs.

Taking a quarter-sized amount of shampoo in your palm, you begin lathering it into his hair and massaging his scalp. He stays silent while you work away, doing as you ask almost absent-mindedly when you guide him this way and that to rinse the products from his hair.

"Okay, lean back," you instruct one last time, guiding his head down to dip his hair in the water and cleanse it of conditioner.

"Thank you," he mumbles, turning his head a little bit to look at you. "You didn't have to do all that."

Leaning forward, you wrap your arms around his abdomen and rest your chin on his shoulder. "I didn't, but I wanted to."

"And I'm sorry for ignoring you, I'm so sor—"

"It's okay, I know." You mumble, lifting your head from its resting position just enough to press a kiss behind his ear. He relaxes slightly, and you continue. Peppering butterfly kisses down the side of his neck and to his shoulder.

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, the only noise a soft buzzing emitting from the fluorescent lights above. The warm water mixed with Wooyoung's even breaths work like a lullaby and you finally allow yourself a moment to relax. Your eyelids feel heavy, the stress of today's events finally catching up with your body. You rest against Wooyoung and continue to hold him, cheek smushed against his shoulder blade.

"It's okay if you want to go, I know you're probably tired." He suddenly speaks.

You hum against his skin, "I'm not leaving, not unless you ask me to."

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to, I can handle shit like this myself."

"That's the problem, Wooyoung." You sigh, not out of frustration or anything of the sort, but because your heart hurts for him and you're running out of ways to let him know you truly do want to help. "You're not a burden. Not to me, or Yeosang, or San, or Yunho— anyone. Why didn't you just tell us? You know we're there for you no matter what."

"I didn't know how," His voice breaks. "I don't like being like this. I hate who I am right now but I can't stop it!"

Wooyoung's shoulders tremble, and you can sense another pent-up wave of emotions ready to crest. "I just want to feel okay again," he sobs and you instinctively shift back, pulling him with you to recline. He sinks into the water a bit, head under your chin and resting against your chest. You reposition your arms for him to get comfortable, wrapping them around his midsection.

The final thread he'd been hanging on to finally snaps and Wooyoung completely shatters in your arms right then and there. His wails fill the room with perhaps the most heartbreaking sounds you've had the misfortune to hear. You hold him for what feels like hours, your own silent tears streaming steadily down your cheeks.

There's absolutely nothing you can say in that moment and you hate it. You hate feeling helpless, you hate that Wooyoung ever has to feel this way, and you hate the world for being so harsh to him. It isn't fair.

You can sit there and tell him everything that will be okay and kiss him better all you want, but at the end of the day, those are just empty dreams. It's ambitious to believe you alone could piece him back together in this moment. So you do the best you can, and just hold the broken pieces of him together so that none get lost. Even if they slice your skin and leave your hands bleeding, you'll make sure to handle them with the utmost care.

[hausofmingi]

his good girl - chapter 1

pairing: song mini x stripper!reader

tags: stripper au, smut series

warnings: slight mentions of stalker, bad words (tee hee), dom!mingi, sub!reader, riding, daddydom!mingi, finger sucking, being carried and getting fucked, a bit of physical roughness (reader receiving), degradation but also praise, cum eating (off the floor!), aftercare

wc: 3.8 k

an: so I decided to give the reader a name because that feels more realistic to me as a reader than y/n. I find that sometimes reading "y/n" takes me out of it a little, so lmk if you find this helpful as well! Also, I am a little depraved so right off the bat, this gets very crazy kinky

minors dni!! 18+ only!!

“Where is the red garter belt I let you borrow?” You are racing around your and Lina’s small apartment, trying to prepare for yet another night on the job. 

“I don’t know, I may have left it at the club?” Lina answers from the bathroom. 

Red is his favorite. You don’t want to disappoint. 

“Well great Lina thanks for that, I’m never letting you borrow my shit again.” 

“Love you too!” she calls after you as you leave to go shopping. It’s not like you’re against making another trip to get some new pieces, but why do you always make the same mistake in letting Lina borrow your favorite stuff…

Your’s and Lina’s apartment is in a pretty run down building in an unsafe part of Gangnam, but no matter how shitty it is, its yours and you really want it to feel like home. 

But, that doesn’t mean you don’t feel the pair of eyes watching you as you exit out of your apartment building and walk towards the bus stop. 

You have been noticing that lately, the feeling that someone is watching you. When you leave your house, when you’re at the grocery store, while you’re going on a run. You try and brush it off because this is normal for women and all that, but today, you pay just a little harder attention. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a figure in a black hood (Jacket? Coat? You don’t want to look too hard) standing across the street from your apartment building. You walk a little faster to the bus stop just in case. 

That night, after spending more than you should on new lingerie sets, you and Lina are about to take the stage for your first stage set. It’s almost midnight, which is usually the time he makes his appearance. 

You always get butterflies, but not the stage fright normal kind of butterflies, the kind that make your clit perk up and your nipples harden. 

Why do you always get so worked up over a man who hasn’t even fucked you?, you think as you make your way up to the stage. 

You really have become quite the pro at this. After 4 years of working for this club, your boss has dubbed you his favorite girl. Doyeon always protects you and gives you the most popular customers, knowing you will always keep them coming back. 

You always thought it felt nice to be appreciated, especially knowing he didn’t have any intentions of coming onto you, on account of he’s a flaming fruitcake.

Its a good ways into your set, and his table still sits empty. You feel the sweat start to form on your back, but try to stay in your routine. 

Why isn’t he here? Where could he be instead? Did his company find out he was doing this? 

You always got scared that it might be leaked that idols come here, knowing the sasaengs stalker habits. Mingi, being a part of one of the biggest Korean boy groups, Ateez, must have a large number of crazy fans following him. 

Did they find out and tip the press to show up here? You didn’t see anyone outside though… Your mind runs rampant with all of the reasons that it could possibly be as you walk off stage and collect your tips from the stage manager. 

Tears start to threaten to spill, and you think you are crazy yet again to be this affected by a man you haven’t even had a conversation with. 

On the way home, Lina can tell you’re bothered and nudges your side as you walk home. 

“So you know how Taehyun has been requesting me a lot? Well he mentioned his upcoming tour tonight, I think he might finally take me along with them!” She exclaimed excitedly. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, he’s just saying that so you’ll suck him off some more.” you say. 

“Well damn… What’s got you all worked up honey?” She always called you honey when she was trying to comfort you. 

“Mingi didn’t come tonight..” you admit. 

“On a Thursday? That’s… super out of character. Well don’t worry, I’m sure practice just went long or he has an early morning schedule or….” her talking trails off as you dissociate. 

Lina has always been a nice friend, agreeing to move in with you without knowing you very well, trying her best to always cheer you up. It’s not her fault you felt like you guys were never really close. You give her props for trying though. 

You pull out your phone and check his bubble and instagram, seeing if maybe they could give you some clues. Nothing. 

You fall asleep that night thinking of the last time his fingers swiped your lip, hoping it wasn’t the last.

—

The next night at the club is gloomy. Even though it’s a Friday, attendance is lower and your energy is even lower. 

The feeling of someone watching you has been bothering you all day, but the guy in the hood has yet to make an appearance. You are just looking forward to curling up in your bed tonight and continually refreshing Mingi’s bubble messages. 

The stage manager calls for everyone to get onstage for the final number and the other girls rush out. You take your time though, not feeling like getting in a rush for this menial thing. 

You hang your head in your hands, covering your eyes and taking a breath. Just get through it, he’s just a man, you try to remind yourself. 

A smell reaches you, like a really expensive cologne. Musky and masculine, and somehow… dominant. 

You look up and standing in the doorway is him. He stands as if he owns the place, hands in his pocket, opting for a fitted vest tonight in lieu of a jacket. 

And he’s staring you down, studying you intently. If it was anyone else, you would feel the need to cover yourself and apologize. But not with him. 

You probably look like a dumbass, staring at him through the mirror with your mouth slightly open. 

He speaks first. “You were worried.” It’s a question but he doesn’t need an answer. 

“Yes,” is all you can manage to squeak out. 

He leans against the doorway, messing with his shirt cuff. You still haven’t moved, frozen in place. How did he get in here, past the security guard? How did he know which dressing room you were in? Was he the person in the hood you noticed this morning? He must be stalking you… Why doesn’t that bother you more? 

He notices your anxiety moving through you. “Don’t worry, I just know the security guard. He owed me a favor. I’m not a stalker” he responds, as if he read your mind.

“That’s… good” you say. 

He drops his arms and strides towards you, slowly as to not spook you. “Well thank you for worrying about me. I’m okay, for now. But, here’s the problem my love,” he draws his finger up your arm, making your hair stand up and bumps form. “You may be in trouble.” 

You aren’t sure what he means. “What kind of trouble?” you ask. “Like legal trouble?” 

You are afraid that maybe one of the idols ratted this place out and the feds are going to come knocking down your door and take you all away. Would Mingi still visit you in jail? Surely not, there’s no lap dances there… 

He sticks his finger under your chin and pushes it up to make you look at him. Drip. 

“Please stop letting your mind get ahead of you, baby. Let daddy speak.” DRIP. 

“A sasaeng has been getting very close to you. Too close. I can’t let you get hurt.” Awe, he wants to protect you. DRIP DRIP DRIPPING. 

“How did they find me?” you ask. 

He leans against the counter as he continues, “I am not sure, I don’t even know how much they know. Sasaengs are insane people with insane complexes. This one has been stalking me since pre-debut. But I’ve always been careful that she doesn’t see me come in here. So how she knows that you are important to me, I don’t know…” IMPORTANT TO HIM??? 

Okay you’ll have to throw these underwear out at this point. 

“So what do I need to do then? To protect myself I mean” you ask him. 

“Nothing, I want you to do absolutely nothing and let me handle it. But in the meantime, you can’t go back to your apartment.” 

Hate to say it, but fine by you. Maybe you’ll save some money by not having to replace your stolen shit anymore.

“Where will I go instead?” you ask. 

“You’ll come stay with me.” Jesus Christ, 20 year old you would be freaking the fuck out. But, it doesn’t make you freak out, in that way at least. 

“What about Lina, what about my job? I can’t live with you, much less San and Seonghwa. I’ll never see you. What if you have to travel for schedules? I’m just supposed to stay in your dorm 24/7? I have a life! I barely even know you! You only ever say 4 words to me, and then fucking leave me in a puddle, how can I just-” 

His hand stroking the side of your cheek cuts you off. “Again with the mind racing, baby. I don’t want you to uproot your life, it will be temporary. I have my own apartment now too, so we won’t be with other members. It will only be until we are 100% sure you are safe to be alone. I will take care of you, I promise.” he reassures. 

You lean into the hand that holds your head, a few tears falling into it. You finally get the courage to look up at him, making eye contact. He has dropped his heavy, dominant demeanor. Instead, his eyes hold only comfort and concern. 

Maybe he wasn’t kidding; maybe you really are important to him. 

After a minute of silence, “Okay, so what do I need to do right now?” you ask.

“Change and pack up your stuff, we are going to the apartment. Make a list of what all you need from your apartment when we get home and I will send a staff to collect it all in the morning.” 

“And take a breath, princess.” You unclench your jaw, which you didn’t even realize was clenched. He kisses your forehead before reaching down to grab your duffle bag that you carry your things in. 

You think in silence as you pack. Take a breath he says… he will protect me he says… Why me? Why is protecting me, a stripper, just some stripper that he barely speaks to. He doesn’t even know my real name…

“Yes I do,” he says from the chair he has sat down in to wait for you. Oops, you must’ve said that part outloud. 

“It’s Cora.” You like the way he flips the “r” of your American name with his Korean accent. 

“How do you know that?” he ignores you. “How do you know I used to live with San and Seonghwa?” “Touche…” you respond.

“All done?” he asks. You nod. He crosses to you and starts stroking your arms to comfort you. 

“I want you to remember though, you still have to be a good girl for me at the apartment, can you do that?” 

You look up at him through your eyelashes, surprised that he still is holding this up even at a time like this. Is it all an act, or is it truly how he is? Either way, you are turned on once again. 

“Yes..” you respond. He cocks his eyebrow, questioning your answer. 

“Yes what?” 

“Yes… daddy.”

“There’s my good girl.”

With his hand on your back, he guides you out of the dressing room and out the back door, where a black hatchback with tinted windows is waiting. He holds open the door for you, and helps you into the car. If only other men treated all their strippers like this…

The car ride home (whatever home means at the moment) is very silent. He has his hand on your thigh the entire way, the other staying steady on the wheel. His thumb rubs back and forth, another attempt at comfort you’re guessing. It works, sort of. 

Just smelling him and being near him your body is relaxed, knowing he will take care of you and wanting to give yourself to him. It’s like you are under his spell, which is crazy. You are usually so independent and self-sufficient. What about him makes you want to grant his every wish? 

“Shouldn’t you be blindfolding me, so I won’t know where your apartment is and so I won’t run away and all that?” you ask, kind of joking. 

“You won’t” he says while keeping his eyes on the road, fully confident in his answer. 

He’s probably right. 

–

Finally you reach the apartment. You almost drifted off to sleep, even though the drive was only about 20 minutes. He parks right outside the front door of the building and gets out to open your door for you. He offers his hand to help you out of the car. It’s much appreciated because you are still in your platform heels, just throwing a coat over your outfit you were going to wear to perform in. 

He keeps his hand on your back as you walk up to the doors, through the lobby, and up the elevator. It’s a really nice building with a concierge and fresh flowers all over. Sometimes you forget how big Ateez really is, and figure that Mingi bought this place with his own money. 

You wonder if he has neighbors on his floor. Do they know he lives next to them? Does he talk to his neighbors at all? Do they know that he is having his own personal stripper move in with him?

They’re gonna know now, from how loud you are being. 

How you ended up riding him in his dining room chair about 15 minutes later, you’re not so sure. 

—

He was going slow, too slow, slow enough that you could feel every. single. inch. 

You tried to grind your hips and get him in deeper, but the tight hold he had on your asscheek lets you know that even though you are on top, you are not in control. 

His other hand is holding your face, his thumb hooked in your mouth. You suck and gag on it as much as you can, but it’s hard to focus when he is going this slow. 

You felt high, things were getting foggy. All you knew is that you wanted to please him. 

“My beautiful girl, doing so well. You were waiting for this for a long time weren’t you?” his deep voice sends sparks to your clit and makes you even wetter, if that’s even possible. 

You can only close your eyes and nod. You want to throw your head back, but his hand on your cheek and thumb in your mouth keeps it facing forward. “Now baby, what did I say? Eyes. on. me.” 

He jerks your head a bit, just to make you a little scared. 

You know he would never hurt you. 

Unless you asked. 

You open your eyes like a good girl. How could you not be a good girl for him? 

His breath catches when you make eye contact with him again. His eyes bare into your soul, never breaking. 

You whimper a little when the head of his cock catches someplace you have never felt before. He smirks, knowing. He hits it again, making the upper half of your body keen forward, his thumb slipping out of your mouth. 

Your hands, which were bracing on the back of the chair, move down to his pecs. You are desperate for him, desperate for that feeling that release you dreamt about him giving you. 

You start to bounce since he let go of you, letting his arms hang down and his head fall back in pleasure. You are doing that to him. You are making him let go. 

You grind his cockhead up against your g-spot over and over again, drooling down his neck. 

You wish you could see what you guys look like, his giant body draped over the chair in ecstasy, you sat on his thick thighs bouncing on his perfect cock, licking up and down his neck. 

You’re close, really close, and your walls start to constrict down on his cock. His eyes shoot open and he jerks his head up at the feeling. 

“Hold on princess,” he practically growls at you. 

Hold onto what? You think. 

He grabs underneath your thighs, holding his hands behind your back and lifts the both of you out of the chair with him still inside of you. 

Oh my god, holy shit. 

This was too good, you couldn’t have even dreamt this up. 

You wrap your hands around his neck and he pummels into you as fast as he can, hitting your g-spot every single time as if he has memorized the angle. The sound of his balls hitting your ass covers your cries of his name. 

“Fucking. Take it.” he says, his forehead touching yours. He has essentially lost control of his body, just bouncing you wildly up and down his cock. 

It’s coming, It’s coming. Please, please, please, “please.” You don’t even know what you’re begging for, if you’re even talking out loud. You feel like you are losing your grip on reality, its so so close. 

He stills inside of you, leaving his cock right on the spot you need the most. He just shallowly thrusts, just rubbing your g-spot with his cockhead. Holy shit, it feels like fucking heaven. 

“Now,” he commands. 

And you obey. 

You flutter around him, feeling how his shallow thrusts stutter when you cum. You don’t stop for at least a full minute. 

“Thank you thank you thank you, oh fuck, thank you daddy” is all you can say as your clit jumps in ecstasy. 

His eyebrows are furrowed together, he’s close too. Right as your orgasm tapers out, you tighten your thighs around him and give him 3 bounces. That’s all he needs. 

He pulls you off of him just as he’s cumming, holding you away from him so you can watch the cum drip out of his cock and onto the floor. It’s so beautiful, you think. 

He sets your legs down on the floor, but they can’t hold you up and you fall to your knees. You can barely see straight, and you can’t catch your breath. Holy shit he may really have fucked the shit out of you. 

You keep your eyes turned to the ground while you try and slow your heart, but you see him start to squat down to your level. He picks up your chin with his hand to look up at him. “Baby… you need to clean up your mess.” 

“Wh..What?” you stutter. 

He stands up straight again, looming over you with his giant presence. “Clean it up.” his gaze falls to the ground and yours follows. 

Oh… you get it now. 

Not breaking eye contact, you lean your head down. You stick out your tongue and lick up the cum that he let fall to the floor, as well as some from you that you didn’t even realize had dripped down. He smiles. 

You feel like a pet, like a slave. 

You fucking love it. 

“That’s my good girl.” he praises you. You wipe off your mouth and look up at him through your eyelashes. He squats back down to your level, seeming to have fallen for your puppy dog eyes. 

“Does my baby need help getting cleaned up?” 

“Yes daddy.” 

He bends down to pick you up, which he does with ease, as if you weighed nothing. He guides your legs to wrap around him and he carries you into the bathroom. 

He sets you down to sit on the toilet and turns on the shower to start heating up. Why do you feel so dizzy? You gaze can’t focus. 

“Cora… don’t pass out on me my love.” he holds your face in his hands. 

“What do you need baby?” you grab onto his wrist to try and steady yourself. 

“Just a minute… I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, take your time.”

He strokes your hair as you take a few deep breaths to steady yourself. 

“Is the shower ready?” you ask. 

“Yes my love, whenever you are.”

“Will you help me?” you ask.

“Of course” he says as he starts guiding you towards the shower door. 

He lets you step in first and before you can protest that you can shower on your own, he steps in behind you. 

It's a really big shower, with beautiful blue tiles and a detachable shower head. Detachable? Huh…

You lean into his chest, your head barely meeting the middle of it due to his height. One of his arms wraps around your body while the other starts to shampoo your hair. 

Why do you already feel so comfortable with him? As if you have been showering together for years. You literally just licked this man’s cum off the floor and have no remorse about it. Should you feel guilty? 

Nah, you kind of just feel like bragging to other Atiny’s on Twitter. I sucked his beautiful cock!! Suckers!!! Probably wouldn’t be the best idea…

After washing the rest of your body and getting you out of the shower and making sure you brushed your teeth, you are now tucked into his extremely comfortable bed. You don’t usually sleep naked, but it seems right when he is too. 

You turn to face him in the bed. He was already staring at you, it seems. 

“You know, I wasn’t expecting us to fuck right off the bat..” you admit. 

“Me neither, but I am not surprised. It’s hard to resist you.”

“You’ve been resisting me for the past 6 months. You know I always craved more from you.”

“Yes I did know. But I didn’t want to enjoy you in such a public space. I just craved being around you. Its hard to resist you, though, princess. Just know that.”

I guess that makes me feel better, but still… so many things unanswered.

“I know you are probably questioning a lot of things. Just try and get some sleep tonight, okay my love?” he asks. 

“Okay..” you agree in a small voice, knowing that you will wake up tomorrow with even more unanswered questions. 

“Good girl.” He curls his arm around your middle and tucks you into his side, kissing your forehead before drifting to sleep. 

He smells like the same cologne he was wearing earlier tonight. Beautiful, musky, and masculine. You let yourself drift to sleep, breathing him in.

OKAY I DID IT MY FIRST CHAPTER. plz reblog and like.

[gyusimp]

°•Cry•°

Warnings: No smut today, lol just a bit angst sorry. I've been feeling like Gyutaro lately and today I felt like crying in the office so I better take the opportunity to vent and write a bit.

▪︎Song Inspo: "Cry" - Cigarettes After Sex (i love them so much, pls listen to their music 🤧)

He was better than him, or so Gyutaro thought of his best friend.

Best friend? Since when did he think of him like that? He was quite a close acquaintance, because for Gyutaro friends don't exist.

He sees himself and him thinking that they are complete opposites, so why do they get along so well? And they get along so well why couldn't Gyutaro help but be envious of him from time to time?

Douma was a handsome young man, posting pictures of himself everywhere he went to his hundreds of Instagram followers. His skin was smooth, pale and flawless without any blemishes, his toned body and height would make anyone who looked at him drool, his features well proportioned and even his style of clothing was similar to that of a k-dramas idols or models, dammit.

He had a lot of friends not only in college but also from his old school where he finished high school, all the girls were texting him and would be willing to line up behind him at least to get a closer look.

He loved going out on weekends for walks and raising all the looks he could to feel desired and be the center of attention wherever he went.

Douma wanted a girl? He could have her.

But Gyutaro, oh, poor Gyutaro...he was Gyutaro. Always with the same expression on his face of having smelled shit even if he really felt happy, his laugh was totally outrageous and his shaky and weak voice matched it.

He had a nice skin tone and beautiful blue eyes but these were surrounded by dark circles due to the exhaustion of working all day and being a university student in his free time, the skin of various parts of his body including his face were dotted with peculiar birthmarks, a few scars and little spots caused by the stupid shitty acne he had been fighting for years.

He made an effort to dress well but being too tall he couldn't even find pants that fit him correctly, being tall was not part of his insecurities but being someone that big intimidated other people making them move away from him even when he weren't did it on purpose.

His hair was styled the same way every day, if he tried to do something different with it it was hard to like it and he'd rather opt to tie up his messy curls the same way again. Gyutaro hated his hair.

He had no friends, sometimes he used to talk with Hakuji and Michikatsu in college besides Douma but apart from them he had no one else to talk to. He hated people and his asocial tendencies made it almost impossible for him to want to leave his house when the 3 boys asked him out on a weekend. He had better things to do, like resting at least 1 fucking day a week and spending time with the only person he really cared about in life, his little sister Ume.

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

"Did you see her? I think it's her, right?"

Gyutaro looked up from his food towards one of the campus gardens, looking at the girl the blonde was referring to.

"It's her. Bro, do you really like her and can't recognize her yet?"

"It's nerves, I suppose." Douma said, laughing ruefully.

It had been several months since Douma had set his colorful eyes on a girl from college, no idea who it could be because she wasn't in the same class as them so that made things a bit more difficult for Douma to start his goal of getting to know her better. He didn't even know her name.

Gyutaro tried to help and advise his friend in what he could, he had never had a girlfriend before but for some reason he was good at romantic issues, although not when he had to apply them himself.

Recently, a girl at work had made Gyutaro's heart race every time he talked to her. She was too nice to him and they had a common taste for topics of conversation. It is not common for Gyutaro to feel romantically attracted to someone, it had been 4 years since his last disappointment in love so this time he was more mature and thought he would dare to open up more and maybe get to know this adorable and special girl more.

They were small steps but Gyutaro was determined and motivated by his co-workers, he would start by greeting her in a friendly manner, talking with her in free time and even bringing her some sweets or snacks to her desk making her smile and thank him tenderly, making his chest puff up proudly every time they were together... but not everything was rosy.

An idiot was behind her too. He had a girlfriend but he was still after every woman in the office that he could get for himself within the company, 7 years older than her and unattractive but still...she seemed to send all the little but sincere efforts from Gyutaro fucking down the drain. He was very disappointed, again.

Gyutaro cannot forget how one day he came to work earlier than usual and found them laughing and talking as if they had known each other for years and when they saw him they simply went to another place to continue talking alone...as if he was trash.

That day he decided to give up but if only his heart could stop feeling things for her so easily. She preferred that bastard, it wasn't safe at all but seeing them eat lunch together every day, talking when they could and coming to work together would drive Gyutaro into the head without fail, making him feel bad. It wasn't the first time this happened to him, other girls he was interested in before also rejected him without a second thought. They all told him the same shit about "She's missing it, don't worry about her." "The right one will come" but when? How much longer was he going to have to keep waiting when he was getting further and further along in his adult life? Were they sure the problem wasn't him? Because he was convinced of that. Different interests in different people, different places and stages of his life... and he was always rejected.

Gyutaro had so much love to give behind that serious face and "unfeeling" armor, but no one cared to know what was beyond all that. It was frustrating.

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

Gyutaro worked on his computer on some university projects after work, he did it afterward before going to sleep to pay enough attention to his little sister when he got home and had dinner with her. It was almost 9:00 pm and several messages made his cell phone vibrate, he took it to turn on the screen and see the contact "Douma" who had sent him 5 messages. Gyutaro opened the app and everything was a summary of how his partner had gotten the number of the girl he liked at a college event, got her Instagram and following each other accompanied by some screenshots of the random topic conversations with the girl. This made Gyutaro happy for his friend though not entirely, maybe at first but a few days later it all became a bit annoying for him. Douma couldn't stop talking about this girl, how cute she was to him and all the things they both had in common, how she responded to his messages almost immediately, and how they complimented each other. Douma was just excited and he didn't do it with any bad intentions but Gyutaro couldn't help but feel that his college romance was being rubbed in his face while he had been sent to hell a couple of weeks ago.

Gyutaro didn't say any bad comments to his friend, he reserved all kinds of hurtful words because he really appreciated him but envy grew little by little inside him. Douma was smart and handsome, he had gotten the seemingly unattainable girl of his dreams in a matter of weeks even though the only thing they met to socialize with was campus 1 time a week, a year ago he didn't even know she existed and now maybe they would even end up dating or doing things together in college and this disappointed Gyutaro in himself.

Why couldn't he do that? Why didn't these things happen to him? Even Ume got a love confession a few days ago but he never got his turn at anything...he was sick of this crap of feeling like he was "begging" people for some affection...he was fucking tired of the constant rejection .

If Douma did it with a complete stranger then why couldn't he achieve anything with the people he lived with and saw every day at school or work, with people who were even his friends, who took the fucking trouble to learn his name well and greet him every morning, with whom he had common themes and similar details in their life...why not him?

Shit, he was crying, again.

He didn't like to do it but he had to. Ume was asleep in her room so she couldn't hear his sobs in the dark, he sighed heavily and wiped a few tears from his face when his cell phone vibrated again. He scrolled down the notification panel only to find more messages from Douma and more screenshots of his conversations with the girl to tell him that everything was going well.

Gyutaro wasn't in the mood, not now. He tucked his cell phone under his pillow and snuggled under the covers as he was lulled to sleep by the rain outside. Maybe if he slept early today his head would stop aching and spinning in the morning, hoping to have a clearer and less stressful day than today.

[khofiecloud]

how to preserve your mental health at school

School is probably one of the most mentally taxing things a teen can go through. It certainly is mine. With the pressure to be the best, to get ahead, and to generally succeed, it's hard to not be affected. The mental strain is unavoidable, and I struggled with it for most of my school years, but over time that has led me to find tips that could help anyone going through this cope.

There are a few signs that can tell you whether or not you are being severely affected. You might be unmotivated and apathetic throughout the school day, and just because of school itself. You might feel like crying in school during the whole day and every day. Reasons can range from academic pressure to bullying and social ostracization to feeling inferior to your over achieving classmates.(If it's bullying, please tell someone who can help you) But here's some tips that might help based on what I learned from experience:

Find a piece of comfort (that you can come back to whenever you feel bad) .It can be a show, anime, song , movie, fanfic, manga , book, food, piece of clothing, or really just about anything (my recs are saiki k, ghibli songs and movies) . It’s best to have multiple just in case you get too used to 1 of them.

Get a support system: the way you can get this may differ based on your specific problem but here’s some ideas : make new friends offline or online (best app is slowly) and strengthen your existing relationships with friends and family.

Find a 3rd place which is not electronic: A third place is any public area away from homes and school/work ,where people meet and interact in an open environment. But the real challenge is not making your 3rd place your device .It's hard but here are some ideas for a 3rd place : libraries, arcades, gym, yoga place, sport club, skateparks, playgrounds, parks, coffee shops and cafes, bodegas. Make sure to choose a place where you feel comfortable. 

Get enough sleep: being tired will just make you feel so much worse. Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep. Just to make it extra too, listen to some calming music, light candles and wear your fanciest sleepwear.

Put your mind on other things and focus on finding things that'll make you proud of yourself: You could get new hobbies, especially creative ones since those allow you to express yourself easily. Some examples are crocheting, embroidery, drawing, painting, sculpting, pottery, dancing, writing music, performance art and writing (stories, poetry, essays)

Take a leap of faith: create or design something based on your interests and skills and share it with the world. This can develop into being your own personal extracurricular activity. It might be scary but that's what makes it so rewarding in the end.

1) Video editing : post videos on your favorite subject and post on tiktok or youtube 2) Fashion and Photography : take pictures of yourself wearing cute clothes (or just your fav ones) and post them on your social media 3) Painting and Sustainability : paint an exhibit and display it in public 4) Volunteering and Social Media: make and run the official Instagram account of a local business 5) Gaming : make a game on roblox 6) Reading: start a book review blog These are just a few pretty ambitious ideas. You don’t have to follow these. Create your own project, it all depends on who you are. Take the best out of all of you (pieces of your soul) and create a masterpiece. If you don't have any interests (post on tips coming soon) just make something out of your skills . Make sure to only take on a project if you have time and resources.

Lastly, this is a tip I got from Quora. It’s to make a slow nights document. You can write this down on paper or open a doc and write down your comforts, favorite movie, favorite art pieces, places you’d like to go in the future, what you think your life will be in 10 years and so on. Just write things that will make you you.

School can make you feel drained, insecure and hurt for so many reasons. It may end up in you being numb and apathetic. In most cases, the problems you have can’t be solved by just forcing yourself to look at the bright side or forcing yourself to avoid or ignore them. They are real issues. And when asking for tips on the internet isn’t enough, I hope this post will help you. It probably didn’t solve all your problems, but I hope it showed you a way to go. Thank you for reading and Good Luck 

[kokinu09]

Let Go of the Reins || Chapter 7

pairing seungmin x fem!reader

genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday

summary Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.

A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

~*~

You and Liv got to the venue early like Seungmin requested, about 2 hours to be exact. If it hadn’t been for the two of you having to get a few things done at the ranch that morning, you probably would’ve been there even sooner. The excitement for the concert causing your body to basically vibrate with anticipation, a permanent smile plastered on your face even as you lugged the massive buckets of feed around the barn in the wee hours of the day.

So far, the experience has been incredible. The STAY that you’ve met are some of the sweetest people; chatting with you and Liv while waiting in concession lines or for merch, complimenting your outfits to no end, and even offering you little freebies for no reason other than the mutual love of Stray Kids.

Every time the most common question in the entire K-pop community is asked, “Who’s your bias?”, you find a certain member's name falling from your lips. The answer should be the same as it’s always been. Bang Chan. You’ve been an unwavering Chan stan for as long as you’ve been listening to Stray Kids. But lately, it seems you’ve had a change of heart.

“So~,” Liv sing-songs and you already know the teasing is about to begin, “your new bias is Seungmin, huh?” Her eyebrows wiggle as you two walk away from another group of friendly STAYs.

“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” you say with a roll of your eyes.

“Oh, I’m not~!” She chirps. “I think it’s super cute!”

“Yeah, and I’m sure Han would be offended that you’ve switched rappers on him.”

“Hey! I told everyone Han is still my bias!” Liv argued with her full chest. Hand fisted on her hips and all.

“Riiight, then shouldn’t that freebie be HanQuokka instead of Dwaekki?” You say, pointing out the little SKZOO inspired pin the talented STAY had just gifted her.

“I—!” She cuts off her own protest, cheeks puffed out in a pout as she crosses her arms. “Maybe Changbin is being a bit of a wrecker lately….” She mumbles with a pink blush spreading across her nose. You do your best to hide your snicker at her expense.

The two of you walk around for a few more minutes but the longer you’re there, the more anxious you’re becoming about these mystery seats that Seungmin has promised. So you decide to make your way to the staircase to meet up with your escort.

When the stairs finally come into sight, you notice a large, like huge, security guard standing just off to the side of it. He’s dressed in all black and a black pair of shades over his eyes, even though he’s inside.

You want to laugh but he is definitely too scary looking to laugh at.

“Think that’s our guy?” Olivia leans in to ask in a hushed tone.

“I’d say so.” You reply, leading the way toward Mr. Scary-Security-Guard.

He seems to be looking for something (or someone) with the way his head is on a swivel until he spots you two approaching. It’s hard not to gulp as you realize how mountainous of a man this guy really is when you get closer. He looks like he could take on the entire stadium if it came down to it.

Was it really necessary for Seungmin to send this guy to walk them to some seats? Did he think they’d get mugged by some STAY along the way? Unlikely.

But you put on a nervous smile anyway and ask, “This is going to sound stupid but…are you here to show us to our seats…?”

The man is stone cold, the firm set of his mouth doesn’t budge even a centimeter. “Are you Y/N?” He asks in a (very intimidating) deep, baritone voice.

“Y-yeah! And this is Liv!” You say, quickly looping your arm with hers so you’re not in the center of attention. He nods his head at the introduction then extends his arm in the direction along the side of the stairs.

“This way ladies.” He says before leading them as they get to walking.

His threatening demeanor alone clears the path for them, everyone content with avoiding getting in his way. The eyes of passersby follow you in curiosity, wondering who you might be to deserve such an escort. You keep your head down and urge your feet to go one foot in front of the other.

All the way until he brought you to an ‘Authorized Personnel Only’ door. You and Liv both stop when he opens it. And he looks back at the two of you expectantly. You glance over at your friend and catch her eying you too. But you decide to trust Seungmin’s word about better seats and continue to follow Mr. Big-and-Grumpy.

The sounds of the three of your footsteps echo around the concrete walls of the service hallway they are now making their way down. You were starting to think there really was something to Seungmin’s suspiciously vague messages.

“So, um, where exactly are we going?” You ask hesitantly.

Your question is met with silence for a long minute. You’re sure he’s not going to answer but then he says, “It was requested that I bring you to meet with the band before escorting you to your actual seats.”

While your mouth drops open in surprise, Liv beside you squeals. “Really?! No way! This is totally awesome!” She cheers, bouncing with each step and tugging on your arm in excitement.

The shock of it slowly wears off and a smile forms on your face instead. An excitement of your own warming your heart and causing the butterflies in your stomach to start fluttering. Seungmin really did make sure he’d get to see you for the show.

The two of you have a pep in your step now, following a little closer behind your escort. No longer fearful of his wrath knowing the guys were expecting you.

“What’s your name, Big Guy?” Liv boldly asks eventually.

After another pause, you wonder if he’s being careful of what he says to you two. But this time he responds quicker. “Smitty.”

“Cool name,” Liv says under her breath.

“It’s nice to meet you, Smitty,” you opt to reply instead.

“Mhm,” he grunts and then another patch of silence falls between you three. You think it will stay that way but then he speaks up again.

“Are you dating,” it barely sounds like a question. And you’re so confused by it that your face scrunches and twists in the most unattractive way.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you dating him,” he clarifies, still not sounding like he’s asking.

“Dating who?” You press, earning a frustrated sigh.

“Seungmin. The one who specifically asked me, their personal security, to bring you to them safely. Are you dating him.”

“No! No, no, I’m not. He wouldn’t—” You were abruptly cut off by your best friend.

“Girl, I’m gonna stop you right there ‘cause yes he would.” Liv says, giving you a seriously nasty glare that you’d be afraid of if you didn’t know her as well as you do. Then she straightens up to address Smitty again. “And what’s it to you anyways? Why would you possibly care who either of them date?”

Her attitude seems to strike a nerve as he stops, you almost bump into his back but thankfully you don’t. He turns to face you and gives Olivia a side eye from overtop the rim of his sunglasses.

“I only ask because I have been working security for these kids for over 2 years for their tours and never once has any of them even remotely done something like this for a girl.” He explains, not looking angry but maybe a bit worried. “He’s a good kid with a big heart. If you’re only in it for the money or the clout, please, just enjoy this concert and part ways with him. He doesn’t deserve to be strung along and hurt like that.”

“Wha—? I would never use him! I bought tickets on my own! I never asked him to bump me into better ones or even to arrange this meet-and-greet!” You’re quick to defend yourself, taking a deep breath to calm down. “I know you’re only saying this because you care, but I intend to stay his friend, or whatever he wants me to be, for as long as he’ll have me. If anyone’s going to get hurt, it’ll be me.”

Your eyes burn with angry tears as you glare up at him. Angry that anyone would take advantage of the guys like that. Angry that people like to act like they know you and make assumptions. Angry that you just spilled your heart out to this stupid security guard and now you feel raw.

Liv’s hand is gentle when it lands on your shoulder, a soft and watery smile on her face when you turn away from Smitty to look at her. And she quickly wraps you in a hug, knowing how big it was for you to admit your feelings out loud like that.

When you hear the man clearing his throat, your attention is drawn back to him. Though your hard eyes and deep frown have returned to your features. He starts to chuckle, which should have pissed you off but it didn’t.

“You’ve got spunk girls.” He says through his laughter, taking a moment to recompose but a smirk still remaining. “And you seem genuine, so I’ll believe you.”

Your shoulders relax, a tension you didn’t even realize you were carrying leaving your body as if getting this man’s approval meant you could get anyone’s. He turns to continue in the direction you all were originally heading but glances over his shoulder at you. “Let’s keep moving. I don’t really wanna lose my job for keeping your boyfriend waiting.” Now he’s teasing you?!

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You groan, earning a giggle from Liv as you follow along anyway.

Willing to give up the argument if it means seeing him a little bit sooner.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08

@keepswingin

[gwiyeounsonyeon]

Everyone(Neuro divergent Writers)

i wanted to share some tips that really helped me with my writers block so hopefully they help someone else who is like me. for the longest time i thought i just forgot how to write but i didn't and i get to see myself improving every day.

this is a pretty long post, its entirely word vomit and i go on a little spiel at the end about ai

Medication.

The biggest and most unexpected thing that helped me was getting medicated for my ADHD. Before taking Adderall, i never thought that my ADHD might be why i was struggling so hard to write and it was the same with everyone else too. Id get family hovering over my shoulder every time i came to them to express my fears about my rapidly declining literacy and writing skill, all saying that if I'm struggling that bad i just need to eat better or go on a walk or get some sunshine, like my brain works like everyone else's.

I was scared at first because id been on Adderall before and it just made me miserable but I'm super determined to continue writing and when i tried it, things started getting better. i found myself actually enjoying my writing process and getting excited to wake up. I'd sit at my desk and write for hours, yeah it would take me a few hours to just write a thousand words but that didn't matter because i was writing.

Changing What I Write On.

I write most of my stuff in google docs, sometimes i dabble with notion but there's too much to customize and i just get carried away. i was reading articles to help improve my basic writing skills because i retained absolutely nothing from school besides one wale fact i learned in science in like grade six and the entire bill nye song.

if you write on a computer or phone, a lot of the times you cant think of something might be because of the blank screen and the flashing cursor. i can come up with a thousand speculations as to why but i know that trying to write on a notebook sometimes makes things go smoother. i know its a hassle transferring that but for lazy writers who don't like reading through their work its actually really helpful for editing.

Changing Where I Write

One of the biggest reasons i gave up on writing was while in school i was a fountain of ideas, constantly writing in my notebook and not paying attention to the teachers.

this is probably the weirdest one but it worked for me. usually i try to find something on youtube like an informative video or a nature documentary, hate all you want but recently i found that asmr works too. find things where there isnt a lot of stuff happening, slow talkers, David Attenborough, one of those roleplay asmr's. hide the video, especially if you have adhd. i found that when i try writing in scilence, i get more bored and overstimulated, and when i write with music too often i get overstimulated. putting on videos like these are a great middle man, its not quiet and the sounds arent too high pitched or repetitive.

ill leave you with a few of the channels i like to use.

penguinz0

theweeklyslap

[ASMR]nara_나라 shes a korean youtuber, i like putting their k-pop idol make up roleplays on. they speak korean and its really nice to put on in the background when im brainstorming ideas.

Tingting ASMR another really good youtuber, they make a lot of roleplay videos, some of my favorites are the videos with the wigs. they have a wide variety of videos so its easy to jut click play all and not get overstimulated or annoyed.

Stimuli

things like pressure or fidget toys. i absolutely can not wright unless i have my headphones on, it doesnt matter what i try or if i do something else that usually works, unless i have my headphones i cant do anything.

i personally like hyperX cloud II, i have the wireless ones. theyre light and they have a long lasting battery. theyre on the more expensive side so i apologize but they are worth every penny.

i also sort of like MOVSSOU but i dont use them a lot, they're a Bluetooth headset with a noise cancelling feature that i like to have when i sleep, but i like the pressure, i just dont like the roundness the over ear speakers have. these are still a little expensive but not as bad as the other ones.

i also found that wearing pants inhibits my writing process, as weird as it sounds, its really comfortable to just lounge and write in my underwear.

i know its different for everybody but for neuro divergent people the little things matter the most. pay attention to what you do when you wright; what time of day do you usually write in, where do you write at, what are you wearing, what are you looking at, did you eat, did you shower before. if you need to write these things down and experiment; try writing at a different time, try writing in different clothes or in no clothes. don't be embarrassed about what helps you, as long as you're not hurting yourself or other people it should be completely fine.

Drafts

like a complete moron i forgot about drafting. i didn't really forget, it just seemed pointless, i wasn't writing much so what's the point.

there is a point and its a life changer.

for some people writing is hard or it can become a burden or a chore, especially for people who share their works because theres a lot of pressure. you can say you dont care and you might not but you have to admit its a little daunting trying to figure out if your sentence is legible or not.

next time you write, i want you to stop thinking about everything else. all that matters right now is getting your thoughts on the page, fuck grammar, fuck spelling, it doesnt matter.

how do you write? do you picture the scenario? to the words just come to you? do that. if you picture things when you write just sit back and watch it like a movie, type what you see. don't worry about realism, don't worry whether or not your character has four limbs. just write what comes into your head and when your done take a break. get up and walk around, drink water, eat a snack, move away from your computer or notebook or whatever else and take a breather. when you come back read it out loud, shout it, murmur it, it doesn't matter. edit as you go, if something doesn't sound right rewrite it, if you stumble over your words try to simplify your sentence.

outside help

i really struggle with this because i dont have anyone im confident in sharing this stuff with but if you do ask for help proofreading.

if you're like me and you don't try ai. don't rely on it to do everything for you, that's lazy and youre not really writing.

use it to help simplify your run on sentences or help with grammar, if theres a sentence in your story that needs to be changed but youre blanking get an ai to help rework it.

especially if you struggle with ideas and need help, roleplaying with bots is also a good way to help get ideas organized and help visualize a situation. i know a while ago when i was struggling with feeling pressured and the stress that i felt like i was carrying the brunt of everything and i used character ai to help me visualize ideas and work out storylines i had no idea how to put into words or continue.

especially in areas where im really weak in, like plots and story pllans, ai is really good to help get your jumbled ideas out when you dont have another person to rely on for assistance. not only that but their messages are concise and organized and its less overwhelming sorting through the information.

ive been using

Creative_WritingsE on poe.ai to help me write the story guide and plot lines for the sanji fic im working on.

and i just started playing around with sudowrite to help me edit my drafts and help with my awful grammar and punctuation.

but please remember to be conscious when using ai, if its for writing or drawing. people work hard to develop these skills and get to where they are today and when people come along calling themselves artists or authors when all they did was pay for a program and type a few words into a box that most likely stole work from other people, it feels degrading.

imagine you're in school and you were assigned a project that you are really passionate about and you work really hard on, pouring over it tirelessly. not just for the grade but because its something you genuinely like and it makes you happy. then when you go into school the next day you find out one of your classmates snuck photos of your project and all they did was change how it looked but nothing else and they get the recognition for it. it feels shitty and honestly it takes the joy out of doing the thing you love.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: May 2024

Hey it's May! Big X-Men month over here but also lots of other great stuff. Here's how I spent the last 31 days!

……….FILM……….

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024) Impossible to live up to my expectations, given how much I love Mad Max: Fury Road. I liked the bits with new characters, I liked the bits that felt like Fury Road, and I surprisingly liked how it tied into the previous film during the credits. It's a different beast and given it succeeds as a prequel, I gotta respect it for what it is.

……….TELEVISION……….

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Episode 1.01 to 1.06) Shockingly violent but it does a good job of setting the tone for the series in the first scenes. Love it when something fantastically (spy life) is used to highlight the mundane (stages of a romantic relationship). Big fan.

Delicious in Dungeon (Episode 1.18 to 1.22) Uuuuugh so close to the end of the season and I'm not looking forward to the wait between now and season 2.

X-Men '97 (Episode 1.08 to 1.10) Hey a really tight season of television! Maybe a little too tight at moments (strangely it feels like it could've benefited from 1 or 2 more eps in the middle there) but I really do prefer a fast pace over a slog. Now I'm gonna go read some X-Men comics.

Succession (Episode 4.03 to 4.10) Somehow avoided having the ending spoiled and it was a perfect culmination of great characters and writing. What I love about this series is how consistently it puts the core trio in the same room, and how the score is practically all just variations of the intro song. Loved it.

……….YOUTUBE……….

The Spectacular Failure of the Star Wars Hotel by Jenny Nicholson I've been watching Nicholson's videos for years and it's great to see this one break out of its core community for a few reasons: 1. it shows that thoughtful and thorough art can connect and has value and 2. towards the end it becomes a scathing indictment of cynical corporations. Much like blockbuster cinema slowly dying, it confirms that the general public can discern art from content and won't support the latter. The Star Wars Hotel was overpriced content and it failed. VIDEO

……….READING……….

The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. Le Guin (Compelte) I don't know what I was thinking when I read and disliked A Wizard of Earthsea. This and The Tombs of Atuan are so thoroughly fantastic that I feel the need to go back and reread the first book after I finish the series. Such economical and poetic storytelling.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams (Complete) Big fan of the Hitchhiker's Trilogy but maybe that set the bar too high for this one. It never quite came together and if asked what the book was about, I'd have a hard time landing on something. Maybe that works for some folks and I'm in full support of the journey being the adventure, but it just wasn't for me.

House of X / Powers of X by Jonathan Hickman, Pepe Larraz, R.B. Silva, and Marte Gracia (Complete) Hey the new show has me in the mood to read some X-Men comics! I appreciated the series more on this reread but still find the pacing of the "reveal" to undersell the gravity of what it's suggesting. I'm keen to get into the rest of the series even though it's a convoluted jumble of multiple titles. Comics!

Dawn of X Volume 1 by Jonathan Hickman and a whole slew of talented folks (Complete) Reading single issues from different teams back-to-back really highlights individual strengths and weaknesses. I really dug some issues and was bored by others but I'm going to keep going with these collected volumes to see what sticks.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol 7 & 8 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) I really forgot most of these volumes. Izutsumi is such a good foil for the group (especially now that Marcille is barely resistant to eating monsters at this point) but I always have trouble with the moody loner types.

……….AUDIO……….

Hyperdrama by Justice (2024) You know I haven't listened to this since the start of the month. Some standout tracks but the album as a whole didn't leave me with much of an impression.

The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast (Podcast) The Lonely Island digital shorts were a foundational part of my youth and listening to how they were made, along with behind-the-scenes stuff with SNL, is a great listen.

……….GAMING……….

OZ: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Tuesday crew is beginning to see the aftermath of their political assassination (you can read all about it here!) and the Mof1 crew is actively sabotaging a memorial to the lives lost in a catastrophic explosion they caused.

And that's it. See you in June!

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of March 2024

[last month]

This was such an exciting month of releases--Purplekiss, Day6, BLEACHERS?? Chung Ha gave us a couple of songs, Nina Suárez came back out of nowhere, Lucy dropped a single, OLIVIA RODRIGO IS BACK?? I've been super excited for the J-Hope album, too, but I haven't been emotionally ready to check it out, yet, since I want to have the energy to really love it! Not to mention the Seori EP-- PLUS Bol4 and StayC both dropped some covers of huge 2019 k-pop hits.

And that isn't all. The highlights of my month were seeing Bruce Springsteen (only my favorite artist ever.) and Gregory Alan Isakov in concert(s)! So honestly, I'm a little overwhelmed by just how exciting music is right now. (It doesn't help that this month gave me my first album of the year candidate, too!!) This post will be my opportunity to go a little wild, then :)

1. Leopardos -- Ine Güemes

I should not enjoy this listening experience as much as I do. That whistling noise should annoy me by now, after all these listens, right? ... Right? Nope. I love it. This song is so soothing, it's literally the musical equivalent of a deep breath.

2. Appaloosa Bones -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Concert prep + THE sulking song this month. Look, I'm a guy who needs my daily floor time (floor time. perhaps you require it.), and it always involves considerable sulking. (At this rate, you're gonna see a sulking song on this list every single month. It's a tradition now!) I've been losing it about "Was I that gone? / Man, I hope not / Glad you found me when you did" and "The pages slow / in the room I called your name" and "They haven't made no pill / To get us across the winter time" ...

3. All Things End -- Hozier

You know what ended? My eight-week class. *sigh of relief* All things end, truly! Now I just need the reminder that this semester will end, too...

4. Death To My Hometown -- Bruce Springsteen

I'd never heard this one before, but I ASCENDED when I heard it live (the horns section was. fantastic.) and I left it on repeat all month post-concert.

5. The Ledge -- Fleetwood Mac

This song makes me proud of my music taste, honestly--see, I can like weird experimental stuff, too! It sounds wonderfully, comfortingly crowded--like the ambient noise from a nearby café, or like falling asleep with the TV on. I don't know, it's just a feeling I find myself really enjoying. I'm also SO deeply in love with the round-style singing (see: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" rounds in middle school choir) Fleetwood Mac sometimes does (see: my obsession with "Paper Doll"), and they do it in this song !!

6. I Don't Want to Know -- Fleetwood Mac

I like this one for the same reason I like "Second Hand News"--that cheerful self-deprecation just never fails to draw me in. ("Second Hand News" is still better, though!)

7. Smart -- Le Sserafim

Does anyone NOT like this song? I missed the Eve Psyche hype train last year, so this one's hitting me doubly hard. I think the sweeter tone of "Smart" suits Le Sserafim's vocals much better, and the production is just plain adorable! This has been my go-to song during classes, when I need something to cheer me up without making me too overwhelmed.

8. Luz -- Ine Güemes

That vocal processing is SUCH a standout--so soft and hazy and fluffy, just a fascinating texture when you really focus on it, but endlessly pleasant when you leave it on loop and zone out, too. (Look, I REALLY loved this album this month.)

9. Nota de Voz -- Los Hermanos Laser

Classic indie boy music! I like "Azul Plateado" from this album, too, and I have a feeling the whole album will hit for me during the summer--I tend to like that exhausted-sounding alt-rock stuff a whole lot around July & August :)

10. Light Sprite -- Baby Pantera, Isabella Lovestory

Thanks for the rec, @pocima !!

11. I Am Right On Time -- Bleachers

This is a weirdly muted album for Bleachers (especially on the heels of "Stop Making This Hurt" and "How Dare You Want More" from their last album), and this is the most weirdly muted of them all--I really feel like it should be... more, somehow? But it's still quite a cathartic listening experience, and I keep coming back to it!

12. Really Like You -- Gyubin

I've started giving myself 30 minutes of reading time in the mornings, to help me wake up and not be completely miserable about it, so I've been reading a whole bunch of webtoons. (Hell, maybe I'll read a book one day!) This one's the perfect cutesy webtoon soundtrack, and I think it might be here because I left it on repeat while reading Blooming Season?? (I just finished catching up with Jackson's Diary, and I think I'm gonna start Death of a Pop Star next!) Anyway, Gyubin sounds lovely here, can't wait for a comeback!

13. Self Respect -- Bleachers

The production on this song is just SO exciting overall!! But I'm mostly here for the saxophone. God, it's not even that much of the song but it's gorgeous !!!

14. Nieve Sin Fin -- Ine Güemes

Nice aesthetic piano :)

15. Rush -- Twice

I love how dizzying this song is--it's chaotic and overwhelming in the most wonderful way! I was a little disappointed by it when I first listened to the album, I think because their vocals here are much softer than usual. When I let myself get swept away in the production, though, I totally get the appeal.

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

BBB -- Purplekiss (the tiktok-music trend finally got me last year--against my will, admittedly. unfortunately for me, "bbb" is a fantastic example of that easy-listening, viral-tiktok sound from a group i'm already obsessed with, so of course i'm a huge fan. great vocal performances and silky songwriting? yeah, it's great--the muted aesthetic doesn't bug me at all--and i actually kind of love the super-short horn sections in the chorus. they're surprisingly full-sounding!)

Beam Beam -- Jeon Soyeon (i didn't get this one at all when it first came out, but i've warmed up to it over the years--and this month it just HIT. it's the perfect showcase of soyeon's energy, and it's such a rush!!)

Death To My Hometown -- Bruce Springsteen (five stars bc it has the words "robber barons" in it!!)

Girl I've Always Been -- Olivia Rodrigo (i keep underestimating olivia rodrigo's power as a performer. of course she could make this country-sounding track work. of course she could make it my favorite from the album in an instant. who am i to question??)

Hey Joe -- Bleachers (a sing-along for the politically disillusioned. happy 2024, fellow usamericans. well, at least the harmonies here are delightful!)

Jesus is Dead -- Bleachers (i mentioned that this album is unusually muted for bleachers--not dull as in 'boring in terms of production or songwriting', but dull as in dead-eyed and zombie-like. the vocal delivery, especially, is unusually bland and flat. "jesus is dead" is definitely the best use of this half-asleep, grayscale aesthetic on the album--a song as hopeless and monotone as its delivery. it's strange and stylish and messy, too, AND there's also a sax solo ?? and it works great ?? i admire it so so so much--i'm very surprised this didn't make the most-listened list, i've been looping it a whole bunch.)

The Ledge -- Fleetwood Mac

Self Respect -- Bleachers (re: saxophone.)

White Rabbit -- Jefferson Airplane (i don't think it's much of a hot take at all to say this one is fantastic. i heard it for the first time in february, and i've been completely obsessed since!!)

Heráldica -- Saramalacara (okay, i've had like. a week. with this album, but it was love at first listen--and "humo" already had my heart, anyway. the atmospherics are breathtaking, the production crisp and intense, and saramalacara's voice // the vocal production here fits SO well!! there's a song called ".tumblr" that's definitely worth checking out, though i enjoy every song on here !! except "_cuervos". i admire that one but god it disturbs me i never want to hear it again.)

Qué Nos Mantiene Despiertos -- Ine Güemes (first album of the year candidate of 2024 !!! not much of a surprise, i'm sure, given my top 15. more breathtaking atmospherics, but in the exact opposite direction of heráldica! this album is full of really unique textures, but all that chaos doesn't make it any less soothing. each song is distinct, but they all come together into this sweet, fluffy youtube-lofi-mix type of experience--and look, i'm a college student. could i ask for anything more in an album?)