#kabby moment

[electricbluebutterflies]

Kabby: “i wasn't sure how much longer i could have taken this..."

Post-s2 grayspace / y'all know the deal here. PG-ish and also on ao3.

Abby would never describe herself as patient, but this whole… situation is challenging her self-perception in a way she doesn’t know how to handle.

The fact that her breaking point includes someone she’s spent most of her life trying to outsmart and outdo at every turn is the easy part. She’s suspected Marcus would be her undoing in some form since she was old enough to understand what that concept meant. She just… expected for a very long time that said breaking point would involve attempted murder on her side, not…

She doesn’t even know how to describe it. Great sign right there.

Point is, the fact that her subconscious went from wanting to strangle that man to wanting to curl up around him – and the fact that she has, for completely justifiable reasons, done that second thing on several occasions – is a little destabilizing, and-

“You’re planning something.”

What she is actively doing, at the moment, is having this daydream slash existential crisis on the couch in their shared office, a piece of furniture she seems to spend too much of her life on both awake and asleep and at least she is awake right now and-

“Oh? What makes it so obvious?” Immediate defense mode, and how terrible of a person is she if she admits in her heart that sparring with him is fun, especially these past few months where they’re more aware how much they need each other and that means no threats just petty personality clashes and the things two people do when they practically live on top of each other and oh that’s a mental image she doesn’t need right now and-

“Usually the lack of eye contact means-“

“Do you know how distracting you are?”

Surprisingly, that shuts him up.

There was a time – fine, there were a lot of times – when trying to make him speechless was a very fun game. Never seemed to last long but still worth her time to try, just to make him squirm a little, just to-

If this whole love or lust or whatever she’s dealing with goes anywhere, she may need to calm down, and she’s not sure how she feels about that either. Dammit.

“Distracting?” he repeats after the longest pause she’s ever gotten out of him in twenty-odd years of trying whenever the mood hits, and the word sounds just slightly wrong in his voice, and-

“Distracting. And I’m not sure what I want to do with it, and-“

“Can I ask what kind of distracting?”

Part of her – the part of her that likes to set things on fire for the pleasure of it, the uninhibited part that she’s never quite tamed – is very, very tempted to go into a few more explicit daydreams, but-

“You’ve changed. In every way a person could. And I’m not sure how to… deal with that.”

“Do you have to?”

Abby laughs, and if he wants eye contact she’s more than happy to playfully glare at him, and-

Screw this, she thinks as she gets to her feet and moves towards him in what is not as fluid of a set of motions as it probably should be, and she means to kiss him properly but misses and gets his jaw instead and-

“I wasn’t sure how much longer I could’ve taken this,” she breathes. Breaking point found, apparently.

“You…”

“We are not talking about this,” she murmurs. “I’m just tired of-“

“Understood.”

They will, she is well aware, end up talking about it. Just… not now.

[prof-lemon]

mr dennis gave me a bank account so i am donating a money to you and cake and data boy yahoo -senior admin of zoomies nurbs

[transaction complete! NURBS404 has sent you- oh, that's just a ludicrous amount of money.]

Hello. Thank you NURBS! You really do not have to do this, I have plenty of money. Gosh, if I had a nickel for every time a member of the Porygon family gave me a lot of money, I would have two nickels. Which is not a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.

Hold on one moment. I have two rascals that want to say something.

senior admib nurbs i am getting a treasure chest that blows bubbles for kabby thank you

I AM GETTING A PACK OF CRAYONS WITH 125 DIFFERENT COLORS. I WILL DRAW YOU THE GREATEST PICTURE OF ALL TIME

((Plain Text: I AM GETTING A PACK OF CRAYONS WITH 125 DIFFERENT COLORS. I WILL DRAW YOU THE GREATEST PICTURE OF ALL TIME))

[awkwardspontaneity]

All I Want for Christmas is Peace

For: @sundayinthcpark ( @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis @johnmurphyisqueer ) HMA Secret Santa 2022, here is a Christmas and slightly new years ish fic!!! Happy to be participating yet again, enjoy the holiday friendships!

Ships: Clexa, Kabby, Murphamy (somehow this one became the most obvious one??) still mostly platonic fluff with friends!! Peace, love, and friendship in these trying times!!! And some fatherly Kane because those children are his problem children your honor

Summary: In hopes of finding something to finally unite the grounders and the people from the sky, the old time tradition of Christmas is brought up. 

Welcome to the happy delusions of everyone being alive and happy together :D 

------

Chaos seemed to reign supreme when it came to the people of earth. Now, one might look around and see the crowds of people, shouting out requests and carting around supplies for their various tasks completely ordinary, but it was the people themselves that made this situation special. 

It had taken serious work from all sides, but with a lot of tense meetings and more than one rocky Romeo and Juliet romance, they finally had achieved a semi stable peace. And how did they choose to commemorate this new territory? By bringing back an old tradition of the people, long before the world had come near its end. It might not be what the history books described, a gathering in a neutral clearing somewhere in the middle, but it really was beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

~~~

Raven watched over as people found common ground in the tasks they were given from her position of fixing metal hangers into decorations. The table was shared with some of the grounder children who were whittling away at blocks of wood to make their own decorations. She had gotten distracted by the loudest group of people, including Jasper and Monty who were ‘testing’ out their holiday batch of alcohol. Every delinquent there was positive that the two hadn’t done much of anything different in terms of flavor but, as they shared smirks and eye rolls every time another burst of guffaws would escape the crowd of grounders testing out the batch, everyone shared in the unspoken agreement that nobody would say anything.

Of course booze would be the thing to really bring people together.

One of the young girls nudged Raven, holding a star out to her. The mechanic smiled as she took the star and began placing the metal hook into the wood. She turned her eyes to the rest of the children, sitting around Finn as he showed them how to carve snowflakes. He stumbled through the instructions in Trigedasleng, flushing every time the kids would giggle at the wrong words. The little girls working with Raven snorted at another mistake and Raven met her eyes with a wink. There was no need to tell Finn just yet that they could understand their language.

Meanwhile, Bellamy was helping with hanging decorations. They had been mindful when picking their location to have trees to hang their decorations from while also having open space for the people to mingle. He stood beside Lincoln as they watched Murphy, Octavia, and two other Grounders take turns chopping down a tree for the center of the clearing.  Wiping sweat from his brow Murphy turned to look at the taller boy. “You planning on helping out, or are you just gonna sit back and watch?”

Bellamy laughed, pulling the sweater from over his shoulder and tossing it into Murphy’s face. “I am enjoying the show, but I could give you some audience participation.”

He slipped the axe from Murphy’s fingertips before taking his place to deliver a blow of his own into the tree. The sweater slipped into Murphy’s arms, but he held it up against his face to hide the smirk. (and maybe the blush too). He was quick to yank it over his head the moment he caught the teasing glint in Octavia’s eyes. 

The snapping of wood mixed with the group's cheers as they watched the tree crash to the ground. They made quick work of wrapping it in ropes and dragging it back to the clearing. If Octavia had to kick Murphy in the back of the legs for stopping to stare at someone else’s muscles, that was their business.

Cheers broke out from the people as they watched the giant tree come into the clearing- the loudest by far being from the group mingling around the brewing tent. There were definitely more people in that group than there were before they left. Clarke seemed to think the same, because she appeared with her signature mom stance. “Maybe we can take a break from the drinks and put our energy to use pulling the tree up?”

It was phrased as a question, but with the Commander standing behind her nobody had anything to say otherwise. Jasper raised a glass to the duo with a goofy grin. “Drinks on the house for our lovely ladies in charge.” 

Clarke would have been embarrassed by the tipsy teen had it not been for the smile on Lexa’s face. She sighed, grabbing her by the hand as she dragged her over to supervise the raising of the tree. This was the most relaxed she had seen the Commander, and she couldn’t squash the warmth in her chest if she wanted to. 

Everyone came to gather as the tree was secured, people passing around different ornaments and garlands made of various coloured fabrics. They worked together to space out the numerous decorations, Murphy even going as far as putting a kid on his shoulders so they could reach higher up. It wasn’t long before it became something of a competition between the children to find the tallest person to help them get their bobble the highest on the tree. Soon enough the branches within reach were decorated with wooden decorations and reflective metal disks that had been made before by Raven and a group of grounders that specialized in weaponry. It had been a close enough comparison for the team to work well together, even if they needed supervision from Kane to keep the young mechanic on track rather than try to teach the grounders advanced weaponry. Abby had to come in and reason that such topics could be discussed after the party, before she dragged away the exasperated man with her. Clarke was sure she had seen him with Monty and Jasper testing out their early batches of booze, and giving them advice on flavoring.

Finally they came to the realization that the tree was far taller than they were capable of reaching. Raven muttered how they should’ve brought ladders and, when Murphy made a retort about how lucky she was to have such good hindsight, she threw her garland at him. Everyone seemed to see the lightbulb above Clarke’s head which was met with loving eyerolls from her friends and a squeeze around her waist from Lexa. Picking up the garland, Clarke heaved it as high above the tree as she could and watched it fall to the other side. Seeming to pick up on the idea, Kane grabbed the other end and, with matching grins they walked around the tree, twirling the decorations around the branches. And this began the awkward dance of people tossing the fluffy ropes over the tree and twisting with a partner. In another bout of excellent hindsight, they realized they should have established a direction for people to walk around the tree… But maybe the laughter as people crossed paths and bumped into each other was for the better. 

As twilight fell over the clearing, Raven and her group set up flood lights around the tree. Drinks were passed around- not that many needed the reminder- and with a loud countdown together, the lights came on. Gasps fluttered over the crowd as the lights hit the metal discs in the tree making it shimmer as they spun on their hooks. Cheers erupted across the clearing as cups were raised and embraces shared. 

Music sounded out and within minutes, an area became something of a dance floor when Kane managed to convince Indra to join him, even smiling herself as she took the lead. Kane was spun into Abby’s arms with a laugh where he stayed swaying. They watched as the crowd became bigger and people began teaching each other dance moves to match the rhythm. Those on the side cheered on the newest person to enter the fray with a new dance until it became difficult to distinguish who came from where and they were all one crowd. 

As he watched the people mingling, eyes easily picking out his group in the crowd, Kane finally felt a sense of calm. Maybe one day he would have a comment about the amount of alcohol they consumed, but he wouldn’t interrupt as they let loose, dancing and reaching out past the confines of their circles to embrace new people. It had seemed like something they would never see, but if anyone could bring them to a better future- a peaceful life- it would be his kids. 

He couldn’t be more proud.

[afaimscorner]

Meine „The 100“-Fics:

Die Legende von Skaikru

Vor Staffel 3 geschrieben, basierend auf den Trailer für diese Staffel. Es handelt sich hier um Mythen und Legenden, die Darstellung gewisser Charaktere und Ereignisse ist nicht unbedingt zutreffend.  Flarke, Clexa, Bellarke-Endgame, Finn/Raven, Kabby, Minty, Linctavia, Wicken, Japser/Maya sind alle Teil hiervon, aber es ist keine Shipping-Fic. Trigedasleng-Schreibweise der Namen und Missbrauch der Sprache.

Yu gonplei ste odon

Fix-It, It, aber trotzdem ist im Grunde alles passiert, was im Canon passiert ist, , setzt stattdessen sozusagen das Ende fort. Impliziertes Bellarke, ansonsten Canon Pairings Becho Levtavia, Memori, Miller/Jackson, und Hope/Jordan. Bellamys Reise ist nicht mit 7x13 zu Ende, und ich habe hier ein wenig mehr Sinn in ein paar Dinge hinein getretconned. Er schlug die Augen auf. Zumindest dachte er, dass es das war, was er tun würde. Aber … Moment, das ist alles … falsch. Clarke hatte auf ihn geschossen, nein, falsch, sie hatte nicht nur auf ihn geschossen, sie hatte ihn erschossen.

[ao3feed-the100]

The Falcon and The Griffin

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/8KHqz1m

by IsolationShepherd

In Scotland in the late sixteenth century, a young Lord Marcus Kane and Lady Abigail Griffin meet and fall desperately in love. The only problem is their families hate each other and have for centuries. A relationship between the two bitter enemies is impossible but Marcus and Abby cannot help themselves. They meet in their secret dell, growing ever closer, exploring their love and their bodies, risking everything for these moments together. Their oblivious parents have other ideas for them, possible suitors, arranged marriages. Abby's father would kill Marcus if he found out, and Marcus's father would destroy the Griffins.

A future together seems impossible, a life apart unthinkable. While they continue to fall in love, shutting their eyes and ears to the trouble they're making, circumstances outside their control may ultimately decide their fate.

Words: 2979, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The 100 (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Abby Griffin, Marcus Kane, Jacapo Sinclair, Sir William Kane (original character), Lord Ronald Griffin (original character), Lady Helen Griffin (original character), Lady Isabel Kane (original character), Kitty Kane (original character), Malcolm Griffin (original character)

Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane

Additional Tags: Kabby, Forbidden Love, First Love, Romance, star-crossed lovers, Scotland, mediaeval, Castles, Angst, lots of loving, Fluff and Smut, Feuding Families, Sworn enemies

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/8KHqz1m

[raquelmurillolapiz]

“I can take care of you.”

[causewhywouldnti]

[ellanainthetardis]

Good morning peeps. It’s October and apparently it was an excellent decision to stop watching The 100 when I did. 😂😂😂😂

[bookwormythings]

5x07 Acceptable Losses

Just some thoughts!

Bellamy finally putting his foot down with Octavia shows how much he has grown but also reinforces my idea that he had no real clue what healthy love was before space - I still think part of him might not realize the love he has for Clarke for this reason. He knows he loves her, but he may not realize how much and in what way just yet. 

Kane and Abby have just become a toxic relationship. 

Echo betrayed Raven first before Clarke did yet is forgiven much faster. Is that because Echo’s betrayal is about their family and Clarke’s is about Madi? Is it because Clarke led to Bellamy’s possible death instead of Shaw’s. Both led to war which means that can’t be it. 

Monty saying they don’t deserve the valley is a whole as mood, but also how rude of him in telling Clarke she can’t go back home. Does Monty not realize that or does he not care? Clarke isn’t fighting for the last survivable land. She is fighting for her home, her daughter’s home. 

Clarke’s very abrasive entrance to the Indra meeting...was that on purpose? Did she make herself the bad cop to make Bellamy more appealing after all of his “sins” against Trikru. 

Clarke’s first plan is always the plan that has the least amount of causalities and someone else always messes it up and leads to war. 

Like I said live-blogging is going to be hard, but I did have some thoughts about it. I may do this for the rest of the episodes. Please send me asks or leave comments below to dig into it more.

[rikertroi]

KABBY POSITIVITY MEME:  ↳ [1/1] REUNION - 2.08 “Spacewalker” 

[electricbluebutterflies]

Kabby + reorganising the bookshelf

Modern AU, PG-ish, also on ao3.

He’s trying not to be invasive.

Marcus knows how this looks on paper. Formally moving in with his girlfriend, into a house that already has a defined aesthetic… well, maybe that’s not quite the word for it but someone else figured out what goes where and everything has had its place for years, and-

Abby thrives in chaos. He’s known this as long as he’s known her. The problem is that he doesn’t.

Take the large bookshelf in the living room, for instance. It is, to its credit, sizable enough for what it needs to hold and assembled well enough that her late husband probably did it – Marcus has no problem with these relics for a variety of reasons, but the relevant one was that Jake was more competent with power tools than he’ll ever be – but the organizational system is… nonexistent, Marcus thinks, and that won’t do, and-

He's just going to arrange alphabetically by author. Nothing is going to move more than a few feet from its current location. How could that possibly go wrong?

Answer – half of the bookshelf’s contents are in piles all over the floor when Abby gets home from work, and it takes her a moment to notice, and-

“Marcus Gabriel Kane, what the fuck are you doing?”

Well. To say that is decidedly not the mildly amused reaction he was hoping for…

“Has anyone ever tried to organize this thing?” he replies, because apparently the self-destructive streak is strong today.

“I didn’t ask you to do it.”

“Isn’t doing little favors part of a healthy relationship?”

“That means flowers. Not… whatever compulsive dumbass idea you’re currently too far into for me to stop.”

“At least I’m not trying to color-code it?”

“If you even think about it…”

“I should’ve asked first. Is that what you want me to say?”

Abby drifts closer, arms crossed under her chest in that way she does when she’s not mad just disappointed, that look on her face that says how lucky he is that she loves him and oh is he ever aware of that right now and-

“I lost the bet,” she murmurs, lighter than she was a few moments ago.

“Do I want to know?”

“There… may have been some speculation on what highly organized bachelor who hasn’t lived with anyone in fifteen years thing you’d do first after you moved in. I expected you’d start with the medicine cabinet, not this.”

“And someone else did?”

“Clarke apparently has a good eye. And I now owe her… I don’t even remember, but I’m sure she does, and-“

“I’m not sure if I should be amused or-“

“Felt harmless to me. You’re part of our lives, and I wouldn’t have asked you to move in if I thought there’d be a problem, but you are who you are and-“

“So, ask before I rearrange anything else?”

Abby leans in and takes a slightly bitey kiss. “Warn me, at the very least. And try to get this cleared tonight, okay?”

“Mostly done. It’ll be fine.”

“It better be…”

[abbygriffindaily]

10 Days of Abby Griffin           Day 8: underrated moment Chancellor Abby Griffin managed to keep peace with the grounders for 3 long months. The longest time of peace there has ever been between Skaikru and the grounders. 

[alwaysthehbp]

A list of my favorite Snily fics, just because

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6613973/1/The-Long-Road-Home The Long Road Home. This is my all-time favorite (so far). It’s over 800,000 words (nearly the length of the entire HP series) and I read it in the span of 3 weeks. It’s my favorite because it consists of adult Snily that reunite after their falling out in school, it follows events of HP canon very closely during Harry’s school years until the end, it has alive!Regulus who is bffs with Snape, Snape isn’t as miserable as canon because, well, he didn’t cause Lily to die, and women actually are attracted to him. I always love reading a fic when women are attracted to Snape, idk 😂 The fic is very well written and I am not usually a fan of OCs but the author had me caring for everyone in this fic! I shed many tears during emotional moments but it has a happy ending and even a sweet Christmas one shot that takes place after the events in the story. It’s Snily centric of course but to its core it is an ensemble fic and the author handles it very well. I liked reading a Snape that’s in character to a degree but also not completely, hopelessly miserable. I won’t spoil anything but let me just say a certain young character completely captured my heart. This fic has become my canon practically. I wish I had friends to fangirl over it but alas, a tumblr post must suffice. If anyone reads this or has read it, please come to my dms 😂

https://archiveofourown.org/works/716010/chapters/1325814 Obscura Nox Animae was my first ever Snily fic! I was reading HP book 1 for the first time around Aug or Sep 2021 and thought how cool it would be to read from Snape’s POV since he’s written in such a negative light in HP. I came across this fic. Heatherlly has a wonderful way of writing that is hard to come by! I even read one of her SSHG fics because I wanted more of her content, and I am typically 110% SNILY ONLY trash 😂 She seems to always have such original ideas and writes the characters SO well. She can write drama, angst, action, romance, and humor all so well. I always enjoy her works but since this was my first, it’s on my fave list!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527821 Vox Severus by Adante825. Oh how I wish this was more than a one shot!! Gods above, let this fic from 2017 become a series PLEASE!!! I just found this one a few days ago as I write this post, and absolutely loved it! I personally prefer fics of adult Snily, like the ones mentioned above, but this one was so, so, so much fun! Severus’s voice changes during his years at Hogwarts and everyone notices. I love a fic where people actually find Sev attractive!!! It’s so fun! And… relatable 😏

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13844247/chapters/31840572 Come Once Again and Love Me by laventadorn packs a hard punch in just 25 chapters. I didn’t think I’d like a fic where Sev dies and comes back to life in the past, especially as a teen with the mind of a 38-year-old, but the author handles that with an interesting twist! I absorbed this fic in a day. I couldn’t put it down!! It’s very well-written and in-character. Definitely in my top 5 and is a must-read for Snily fans!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37255837 Show Me Family by @zivitz “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE” but she did it for me!! My twitter friend from the Kabby fandom posted a while back asking for fic requests. I jokingly requested a Snily fic (knowing she wasn’t in the fandom). Being familiar with the characters and up for the challenge, she to my surprise obliged! And blew my expectations out of the water. This fun, fluffy fic packs a lot of tooth-rotting sweetness in just 647 words. Ziv knows children well, so of course she writes them well! With all the unpredictable and funny things that kids say along the way. I love reading a softer Severus, especially Dad!Sev!! And domestic Snily is always so fun. I love them being comfortable with one another. If you’re a snily shipper, severitus lover, and enjoy reading babyfic, this is a short but absolutely lovely read 💞

https://archiveofourown.org/works/501886/chapters/881306 Essence by VR_Trakowski and the sequel Threshold https://archiveofourown.org/works/550550/chapters/980834 are two very lovely fics about a teenaged Severus who’s too afraid to tell Lily his true feelings, but works tirelessly to create the perfect gift for her. Of course, if it didn’t have a happy ending, it wouldn’t be a fic I would recommend, but I’ll keep these reviews spoiler-free! It’s a really interesting AU and is written so wonderfully! I really like fics that show Snily’s differences but how those differences really help complement each individual. Their love is written very beautifully and sensually, and can bring you to feel emotional as you read! Like many other Snily fics, it does not paint the marauders in a positive light. Be sure to pay attention to TW in the sequel and read at your own discretion! Highly recommend! I actually just finished the series today and am having withdrawals.

That’s all for now!

That being said, I’m always on the lookout for a new Snily fic to read! Like I said, my most favorite is The Long Road Home where Snily are adults, most events of HP canon occur (besides Lily’s death, obvi) and I love a happy, domestic ending for Snily. If anyone has any suggestions for completed fics, especially if they’re similar to those requirements, please send them my way. 😁

[chaosthxory]

Is it weird that Clarke and Abby have had sex in the same bed?

[raquelmurillolapiz]

Details of a Kabby scene | Part I

5x04 - “Pandora’s Box”

Ok so, it’s been a while since I took the time to analyze a Kabby moment, detail after detail, moment after moment. So let’s start with this emotional, heartbraking, devastating moment, when Marcus comes back from the arena alive, and Abby takes her time (briefly... thank you Indra as always) to appreciate the love of her life, alive and well in her arms... once again.

Let’s begin... shall we?

When we jump to the room where Abby is locked up in, she is waiting, she had been screaming and crying for a long time, pleading to let him go, because he is not guilty of anything, since she’s the one that had stolen the drugs. She feels guilty, and not just because she had been stealing (probably that is not a matter of concern for her, it had never been when it was for the greater good) but she is feeling guilty because 1) Marcus took the blame for it, as always he is once again sacrificing himself, this time though is a selfish sacrifice for her, not for everybody else, just for her, to protect her, because he loves her. 2) She took the drugs not because a patient needed them.. but because she wanted them, because let’s be honest... she probably doesn’t need them anymore, since a long time I might add. She is addicted to them, it’s not about headaches anymore, it’s about the illusion of comfort that those pills are able to give her. It started as a painkiller, after the ice-bath to save her life, and it ended as a surrogate of what was once the ALIE chip (follow me on this). Probably those pills are able to make her feel less, less of everything, less of grief, guilt, emotional pain... We all know that addictions, drugs, medicines, are able to simply blur the rest of the world, and with it all the painful memories, all the painful emotions. It becomes mechanical, it’s routine, take a pill, feel nothing, take another one, still feel nothing, keep going on like that till you die (metaphorically and/or literally).

But these are just suppositions. Let’s get back to this moment.

When Indra enters the room, Abby gets up from the bed with a question upon her face, into her eyes, in the line of her lips. “Is it done? Is he dead? He’s alive?” She doesn’t have the answer, and Indra’s expression isn’t telling her anything. But in that brief moment, it took like one second for it to come in and fade, Abby has no answer, and her heart starts to fill up with the fear that he might not come back to her, and this already starts to make her feel even more guilty. We all know that if Marcus wasn't going to come back, Abby was going to get worse, and worse. But it’s also true that Marcus is strong, there was maybe a chance somehow that he could survive, and even if the old Abby is sleeping under the rubbles that are covering current Abby’s spirit and mind right now, a glint of hope is still visible in her eyes, she doesn’t ask if it’s over, she doesn’t speak, she just waits. And then is when he enters the room.

When he steps in, Abby’s face lights up. The answer to her question is alive, in warm flesh and bones, right in front of her. He survived the fight, he is alive, he didn’t die. Abby doesn’t waste a second, her lips already starting to form the smile she can’t fight, she exhales softly, releasing the tension and the fear into a soft sigh. She walks fast toward him, covering those few steps between them with her arms already stretched toward him. Seeing him alive isn’t enough, she has to hug him, to be sure he is there for real.

And so she crashes in his arms. Marcus eyes whispering to her “Yes I survived, I am here, I am safe.” but also keeping in the truth he knows, and that she still has to learn about, that he has to fight again and he isn’t going to. But for this brief moment, this few seconds of peace among the chaos, he allows himself to reassure her of his presence, and allows himself too the pleasure to know she is alive and well in his arms, closing his eyes, pressing his nose in the crook of her neck. They close themselves into this hug just like that, as if they are coming back home after a war they weren’t sure to survive, and yet here they are, still breathing, hearts beating, still alive. The way Marcus takes her in feels like a gesture they got used to once again. During those six years we don’t know if they made up immediately after the last episode, we don’t know if that kiss that we didn’t see (damn you writers for it btw) happened at some point, and if they had started to live side by side in the bunker, facing day after day together, in their own way. We know that they love each other though, and that there’s no more tension between them, they made up somehow, she forgave him, we know that, and he forgave himself too... for what he had done to her, for the rest.. well that’s another story.

Abby in this exact moment is holding onto him as if he is indeed her lifeline, he is her anchor, her polar star, the way out of the dark (that in this case we can say are the pills too). In his arms she doesn’t need them, even if just for the moment that takes for a hug, she doesn’t need them, she doesn’t care of them, she cares just for him, she wants just him. So she hugs him, and she lets him hug her. The way here eyes are open when she crashes into his arms, tell us how badly she had thought that she was going to never see him again, how the horror and the guilt had already started digging their way into her heart. But he survived, he is alive, and so she allows herself to enjoy the moment, to feel him. She closes her eyes, pure abandoned into him, her face relaxes, she is safe for a moment. Then her expression changes, wrinkles form on her forehead, around her eyes, her mind is recalling (probably) the reason why she had been so worried. Because she had stolen the drugs, and he had taken the blame. She can’t allow herself to linger on those thoughts, they are still fresh and painful, guilt is powerful, and she isn’t strong enough to fight it back. But she doesn’t withdraw from him, she doesn’t end the hug, she stays in his arms, swallowing down the painful emotion, trying to put back, even if just for a moment, the guilt, because the fact that he is alive and well (for now) is enough.

And here we have Marcus’ side. His hand is secured on her back, her arms are strongly and fiercely anchored to him, she isn’t going to let him go, not now. He has his eyes still closed (and he keeps them close for a long time, even while Indra talks). He is enjoying her presence in his arms, right against his heart. He withdraw from her shoulder to caress her hair with a touch of lips. A light, sweet, emotional, protective kiss, barely visible, that he presses into her hair, on her head. To mark his love for her once more, to reassure himself too somehow that they are both alive and well. Because Marcus was going to sacrifice for her, so she has to stay alive, she has to be safe. He has faith that she will survive her addiction, he has a lot of hope and faith, he has to have them, since they are all that he has left, not just for her, but for everybody else. Marcus Kane knows what hope is, Abby Griffin taught him, and since she doesn’t seem able to hold onto it as she was used to, he is carrying it for her too now, waiting for the moment she will come back to him and to herself, completely.

And here we can see the moment when Abby listens to Indra, without never braking the hug, keeping him in her arms, staying in this embrace as long as they are allowed to, feeling him. Indra tells them that he had won yes, but he has to fight again, she had done what she could to match him with a weaker opponent, to give him a chance to survive. Abby closes her eyes again, as if like that she can shut out the rest, Indra, the bunker, the arena, the notion that she will risk to lose him again. She keeps them close as long as she can, she doesn’t want to listen about anymore fights, she wants to have him safe and alive in her arms. She knows she can’t, but she still needs to believe, even if for a brief moment, that they are safe.

And here, when Indra says “But he’s refusing to fight. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.” Abby brakes the hug, her eyes are wide open now, she was listening, realizing he was going to give up, he was going to die, and this because of something that she had done. She can’t keep it to herself, she had been pleading for them to let him go, to let her take the guilt. (we don’t know if they were going to make her fight in the arena since she’s a doctor, the only doctor except for Jackson, but we all know how Wonkru and Octavia work, so probably the answer would have been yes). So she withdraws quickly, looks at him as if searching briefly for an answer, even if she knows in her heart that is all true, he doesn’t want to fight to survive, not again. And then, her hands slightly squeezing his shoulders, she calls after Indra, “Wait! It was me!” because she can’t push him into the arena again, not for something that she had done, she simply can’t.

And here ends part 1.

[causewhywouldnti]