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lycanhood · 6 years

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Supergirl 4x04 Ahimsa Liveblog

SPOILERS (obviously)

Hahaha yea this suit looks silly

Damn J’onn

Yes for the love of god use your telepathy!!!

Oh no :( poor Kara is claustrophobic

Yeah I’m not sure how long I can handle how silly this suit looks

Oh Manchester Black is Fiona’s fiance! Cool and by “cool” I mean tragic

Maybe Fiona is still alive???

Too many Howdys

Really Kara? You just had to come through the wall? No other choice?

Dammit when Alex tells you to hang back you hang back!

Aw J’onn showing up for his Space Daughter

Whoa look at Manchester move

Baker settled into the whole Commander part of Commander-in-Chief rather quickly didn’t he :/

LENA!!!!!

Whoa Brainy, you alright there, my dude ???

Aw “I’m not a robot. I’m techno-organic. I have feelings!” of course you do, baby

Hahahahaha “Tears of Logic”

Oh yeah VERY disruptive

Well Lena’s compartmentalizing issues are now canon, can confirm

“I’m the Alpha now”

Oh sure you wanna attack kids, but aliens are somehow the monsters, makes sense

Fiona x Manchester Black are already a better love story than Karamel

Oh I see they think I still care about Guardian...Well at least Nia is here

Aw Fiona calls him Ches <3 <3 <3 <3 She better not be fucking dead, for real

J’onn and Alex are having a real pity party. Nut up or shut up, guys

“Yes, boss” aHHHHHHH :)

Bawhahahaha how did Chyler even handle talking at this suit?

Danvers sisters should come with a warning label :)

Fucking Beebo

I’m sorry, but has Kara/Supergirl not yet thanked Lena for her life-saving yet silly looking anti-kryptonite suit? Rude

Oh SHIT!!! Wait are they dead? Did they just kill the Graves siblings already?

Man, Kara’s hair game is on point. The suit might not look so stupid without the helmet

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no :(

FUCK

Why can’t we have nice things?

DANVERS SISTERS! Damn Kara at the pie. Who made all those?

I love them so much

Yeah I’m down for big helping of revenge on Fiona’s behalf.

Ooo Russian!Kara is okay after all. I bet she was bored af

Jensen wtf are you up to now?

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atanearerdistance · 7 years

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Islands Between Us

Click here to read on AO3.

Summary: "By some mystery of the universe, I end up back here again. Suddenly those ghosts I’ve been pretending not to have on my shoulders for most of a decade are walking and talking in front of me, and everyone else that matters to me won’t be born for centuries. And somehow, I'm just supposed to deal with it."

Kara finds Mon-El alone at the bar. She may be the worst person to attempt to make him feel better, and it's for that reason she may be the only who can.

It’s half past three in the morning when Kara enters the bar. It’s a Wednesday night and mostly deserted, though a group of five purple aliens are playing ping pong in the corner and there’s a Orandonian couple arguing with each other in one of the booths. Another alien posing as what looks to be a teacher sips some kind of clear drink while examining the selections on the jukebox. She’s never been to the bar this late before on a weeknight, wouldn’t have tonight either if the echoes of Julia’s pleas weren’t bouncing around her brain. She nearly hit a building twice on the flight over to the bar. She’s just about to turn around and leave the bar when she notices a fur-lined jean jacket up at the bar.

Mon-El sits alone at one end of the bar, his eyes fixed on the almost-empty cocktail glass in front of him, tilting it back and forward with one finger. The bartender is giving him a strange look, as if he knows that this man was working behind the bar less than a year ago and has suddenly aged to appear thirty. Mon-El is tense, as if he feels the eyes on him, but refuses to give any other sign of acknowledgment. “Mon-El?” Kara says softly as she approaches the bar. She places a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t move.

She reaches to take the glass away from him, but he grips it tightly with his left hand. He starts smacking his tongue to the roof of his mouth in a soft rhythm, moving his lips back and forth and open and closed. “If you add it all up,” he starts speaking, slowly, carefully. “If you add up the days- the days with the legion and the days since I’ve been back here- it’s one thousand, three hundred and twenty-nine days. Pretty close to four years. One thousand, three hundred, twenty-nine days since I last had a sip of alcohol, alien or otherwise.”

“Mon-El,” Kara says again, frowning. She’s nervous and her feet move back and forth so she’s bouncing slightly. “What happened?”

He ignores her, finally letting go of the glass. Kara immediately whips it away from him and sends it flying into the sink on the other side of the bar. He won’t look at her, instead pushing himself away from the bar with both hands and leaning further over towards his lap. Kara doesn’t need superpowers to hear the splintering wood of the bar beneath his grip. “You don’t have to do this,” he says in a low voice. “You shouldn’t have to fix me. You never deserved to have to fix me.”

“What are you talking about?” She asks, worried. She reaches automatically to scratch the back of his head like she always did when they were on the couch together before, but she snatches her hand back at the thought.

Before.

“You don’t need to be fixed,” she says in what she hopes is a soothing voice, choosing instead to pat his forearm in what she hopes is a reassuring manner. She decides to avoid the subject. “How long have you been here?”

“I don’t know. The sun was still out. The Orandonian couple were still acting like they liked each other.” It’s February in National City, and the sun sets just before six. He’s been at the bar for hours, alone.

She reaches over to pat him on the shoulder again, and he cringes away from her touch before she can get closer than a few inches. She tries to ignore the sting in her chest. “Do you want me to call Imra?”

“No!” He snaps, his eyes finally flickering up to meet hers and they stare at one another. She doesn’t know what to say to him, and sighs, her heart twisting up in her chest. He’s a completely different man than the one she fell in love with, but still so overwhelmingly the same, and she doesn’t know how to talk to him while maintaining the delicate working friendship they’ve established since his return.

She studies him instead. His mouth is swollen as if he’s been biting his lip constantly, and even his powers can’t prevent the bags under his eyes as if he’s lost sleep. His whole body is trembling, and she can hear how his pulse has slowed as a result of the alcohol. His bloodshot eyes, though-

“You’ve been crying,” Kara stammers, backing two steps away from him. His eyes darken, and he turns away from her. “Mon-El, what happened?”

“Brainy and Imra knew something I didn’t know about the past.” His voice is higher than usual, and he stares at a beer-themed clock on the wall keeping Martian time. “I thought I knew what was going on, but I didn’t.”

“Is it something you can tell me, is it my past too, or…” His shoulders visibly tighten, and she lets her mouth drop slightly. “It’s in my future, isn’t it?”

His silence is answer enough. “Shango,” he calls over to the short, dark-haired humanoid behind the bar, “can I get another ale?”

“No,” Kara interjects. “You may have lost this battle, Mon-El, but you are not losing that war. Not while I’m with you.”

His eyes bounce back to hers again, and he laughs, a particular chuckle that Kara’s never heard before and immediately knows is fake. “While you’re with me. Is that now, or seven years ago, or when I go back to the future and you’ve been gone for hundreds of years? Because I’ve got to tell you, Kara,” He stops while blinking his eyes slowly, still heavily inebriated- “I’ve gotta tell you, I don’t know how long I can do this. On one side, we have everyone I ever met here, who I’ve been treating like dead for years because I was never going to see them again. Then, by some mystery of the universe, I end up back here again. Suddenly those ghosts I’ve been pretending not to have on my shoulders for most of a decade are walking and talking in front of me, and everyone else that matters to me won’t be born for centuries. And somehow I’m just supposed to deal with it.” His voice breaks near the end, and her heart with it.

She ponders her next words carefully. “You know, whatever happens to me, or to any of us- we chose this life, Mon-El. We know that it’s dangerous, we know the risks. If we don’t get to live forever, it’s okay. I know that a mission could go wrong for me. I’m okay with it.”

He jumps off of the stool, stumbling as he stands up. “Well I’m not, Kara. You’re going to live to be 150 or however long Kryptonians can possibly last on Earth. You’re going to live next door to Alex and her family and you’ll all raise superhero children to save the world with you, and then grandchildren and greatgrandchildren because that’s how it’s supposed to be,” he enunciates as he takes a step towards her.

Kara backs away again, because he’s leaning over her now, so close that she doesn’t know if she’s imagining the feel of his soft beard against her forehead or not. He still smells the same way he did when she first opened his pod when he was so much younger; like fire and earth and the stars, and he’s looking at her with desperation that she knows deep down goes so much further than just to her.

“Shango,” she says finally, turning back to the bar, can you call us a cab?” Shango nods, giving her a curious look. She ignores it, placing a hand on Mon-El’s upper back to guide him out of the bar. Outside, the night air is unseasonably warm, and the dew resting on surfaces all around them makes the world seem pure. He’s still stumbling, though his movements have become slightly less erratic. When Kara leans up against the outside wall of the building and slides down it, sitting on the concrete, he repeats her actions.

They’re silent for a minute, both staring through the fence opposite them at the world beyond. There are car horns off in the distance, and what sounds like a firetruck ten miles away that is beginning to race towards their side of town. They hear the snores of elderly National City residents, the rustle of sheets where children are climbing into bed with their parents after a nightmare. Kara can hear Winn’s heartbeat among the twisting and turning sheets- he can’t stop worrying about Alex after how shaken up she was from her run-in with Purity. All around them, life is beating on.

“I have to die, Mon-El,” Kara says softly. “We all do. We all have a timeline, even if some are less linear than others.”

Mon-El shakes his head, more intentionally now. “I just- I just lived in the future, for years…and I never wanted to look, never wanted to know….and then Imra told me we’d have to go through time for our mission, and she just lied to me. I worked so hard to keep my promise to you, Kara. I’ve tried so hard to protect Earth and its people, and my team, the Legion…I don’t know if I can keep losing people, Kara, I lost Garth because I wasn’t careful enough and the idea of losing you, you’re- you’re the root of everything I am.” He reaches inside his shirt, pulling out their necklace and clenching the pendant into his fist.

Kara bites her lip, her mind searching for a response, before the truth hits her like a punch to the gut. “This isn’t just about losing people, is it? You’re hurt because Imra lied to you. She’s your wife, the one you should be able to count on more than anyone else in the world, and she hurt you.”

He sighs, looking away from the street and adjusting his torso to face Kara. “Kara, Imra and I, our marriage is not exactly the fairytale of legends, we…”

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Kara interrupts. As soon as she poses the question, she regrets it. His eyes widen, but he doesn’t move, and eventually he nods, resigning himself to the truth. Kara exhales, trying not to let the words affect her, but she knows that he can tell that her heartbeat is thrown off from it. “You still have feelings for Imra, too.”

This time it’s not a question. “Of course I do.”

“Do you still love her?”

He’s frozen then, and his eyes turn glassy. He stares at her almost as if in disbelief, and Kara suddenly has the urge to shrink away. When he speaks, it’s so soft that even Kara strains to hear it, but she knows him, and she knows it's the truth. “Of course I do.”

Kara leans her head back against the wall then, her head racing at the conflict in the man beside her. They’re both quiet for a while. “I’m sorry,” she says, cautiously placing a hand on his own resting on the pavement. “You never asked for any of this. If I hadn’t pushed you so hard when you got here…”

“Don’t ever, ever apologize for that,” he replies, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “Having you here when I was a stupid kid fresh off Daxam was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Ever. And I’ve never forgotten that, even for a day.”

He pauses, his eyes searching hers.“You know, there’s one more question you should probably ask.”

She knows the question, knows it deep somewhere inside her soul, and even though she probably knows the answer already she can’t bring herself to ask it, can barely think it. Because if she knows the truth and he vocalizes it to her, it will change everything they’ve worked so hard to protect. It will absolutely shatter this fragile island on which they’ve marooned their thoughts and feelings towards one another, and she doesn’t think either of them would survive it. “Does it matter?” She offers up ultimately. It feels like a lie.

He’s still looking at her. His eyes have finally returned to their normal blue, and she knows he’s okay again. He takes a few, steady breaths before responding. “I guess not.”

And the island gets bigger.

#supergirl #karamel #karamel lb #supergirl lb #kara danvers #mon el #mon-el #kara x mon-el #mon-el x kara #cw supergirl

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