#kets kerfuffle

[ketyoulater]

[queers-ahoy]

ket's 2023 favorite fanfiction reads!

here ye here ye! come one come all to hear about my Favorite Fics of 2023! A surprising number of these aren't even complete, but isn't that just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. I highly recommend all of these, completed or not! Most are Gentlebeard, but the last two are little wildcards! Fics that had their word count marked with an asterisk are incomplete.

Once Upon a Summer in San Francisco by samwise | E | 209k*

A charming and thrilling AU set in San Francisco in 1978. Ed, a career drug dealer, meets Stede during a music festival after getting drugged by his office co-workers. They become intertwined in a relationship that puts both of them in new territory. I think my favorite part of this fic is all of the music and fashion references, as well as how all the crew members (and others!) are woven into the story. All the side relationships are adorable, and Stede and Mary have an ADORABLE friendship that I can't get enough of.

2. In Favor With Their Stars by @mxmollusca | M | ~62k

This fic was my introduction to sci-fi AUs in this fandom! It's a gripping story that follows Ed, an engineer who finds himself awoken early from cryostasis on an "interplanetary research vessel" travelling to Jupiter's moon, Europa. Ed soon discovers that the ship's artificial intelligence, STE/DE, is likely sentient. Chaos and love ensues as they spend several months together, flying through the void. This story is uniquely multi-media, told through prose, code, poetry, audio transcripts, and even music!

3. Famine and Feast by zemph147 (@gaypiratebrainrot) | E | ~19k

This fic is a HILARIOUS and fascinating modern AU where Ed is the owner and head chef of his fine dining restaurant, Blackbeard. He finds himself full of renewed passion for his craft after tasting the menu of The Revenge, a new food truck owned by one Stede Bonnet. As someone who works in a kitchen and LOVES any media about food, this fic really indulged me. The description of every dish had my mouth watering!

4. Kalahari Down by @oatmilktruther | E | 31k*

Kalahari Down is a wild and stylized fic, written from Ed's pov as a 19 year old rancher working in Montana on Bonnet Ranch. When Stede returns home from boarding school, the two boys find themselves whipped up into a Brokeback Mountain-esque romance. However, canon-typical miscommunications make their journey a rocky one. This fic is INSANE in the way that it's written, and absolutely must be read in a southern accent (or at least, that's how I have to read it in my head :3). The series is smartly inspired by the eponymous album by Orville Peck, Bronco. Each chapter takes the name of a song written by him, and the vibes certainly shine through. It's hard to say since it's yet to be completed, but it's certainly lining up to be one of my favorite ofmd fics of all time.

5. Fine Wires by Nospaceforjack, ThePirateRoo | E | ~114k

Set in London, 1887, this fic follows the meeting of Blackbeard, the infamous burglar, and The Gentleman Thief, new to a life of crime. The two men are quickly charmed by each other, but their relationship becomes caught in the clutches of the law chasing them as well as Stede's need to prove himself. This story is charming in aesthetic, originally an AMAU, and is told through collages of images, letters, composed ambient music, as well as prose. The setting really comes to life with the mixture of multimedia content along with amazing description.

6. Liquid Gold by @perkynurples | M | ~79k

This is another modern AU that was originally an SMAU! Stede returns to his family's summer home in following his divorce from Mary in an attempt to reconnect with himself. He takes to beekeeping, a hobby his mother enjoyed in his youth, and it soon connects him to resident beekeeper, Edward Teach. They become swept into a honey sweet relationship where they uncover more mysteries than they ever expected to. This fic is ADORABLE as much as it is captivating, and as a beekeeper myself, this fic holds a special place in my heart <3

7. not pickles by smallestchurch | E | ~83k

Yay another modern AU! This one is an Ed pov, and really focuses on Ed's progression through his mental health struggles and such. Ed and Stede live in the same apartment building, and Ed finds himself pulled into Stede's adorable family, whether he likes it or not (he does). There's plenty of adorable Alma/Louis content in this one, and Ed is no surprise GREAT with kids. It's heartwarming, gut-wrenching, and tear-jerking all in one! Total triple threat.

8. the knife and the throat by darcylindbergh (@forpiratereasons) | E | ~35k*

This is a post-s1 canon fix-it fic that is just SWARMING with all kinds of delicious angst. After Stede fights to reunite with Ed, he finds that healing their relationship won't be nearly as easy as the gut wound he's given when he tries. This fic alternates pov, but I'm especially entranced by the way Ed is written in particular. This fic hasn't been updated in a while, but the author told me that they hope to complete it eventually! Finished or not, it's a great read.

9. if i was pure, you know i would by bitethehands | E | ~2k

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat! This fic is a delicious body horror one-shot where Izzy is immortal and Kraken era Blackbeard finds that *fascinating.* It's gruesome and horrifying and so well-written.

10. bend over, doll (it's all a game) by Sweveris | E | ~91k

Modern AU with a sick twist! Edward is the leader of a crime ring and married to Stede Bonnet. Ed is quick to discover that his husband is less than faithful, but decides to play along for a while, just to see where it goes. Everyone in this fic is TERRIBLE and it's AMAZING. I usually hate fics with Calico Jack in them, but somehow this one coaxed me into reading full chapters from his pov. There's also some really yummy Stizzy content that simmers throughout.

//And that's that! I have plenty of honorable mentions that I'll probably add soon, especially if people want more recommendations! Happy New Year, and here's to many lovely fics in 2024!

[ketyoulater]

Every poll I've seen in the last 6 hours

[ketyoulater]

guess what movie I just watched?

[ketyoulater]

What "embarrassing" media do you love? I'll start, I am about as feral about the Frozen movies as a 6 year old child

[ketyoulater]

Does no one else suffer from the constant crushing weight of the grief over every person you once loved and no longer speak to? We're all just expected to be normal about that?

[ketyoulater]

If I don't get some goddamn miso soup I'm going to have to take measures, like manslaughter or terrorism probably

[ketyoulater]

I may be but a boy now but in 50 years I will be a decrepit, grumpy old hag, just you wait

[ketyoulater]

I'm absolutely obsessed with this video I hope the other cow lovers find it.

[ketyoulater]

did you piss in marlowe's pants

I swear I didn't but I think if I was accused enough I'm weak-willed enough that I could be convinced it was me

[ketyoulater]

Me, around 1am, dozing off on my couch: oh, oh how sleepy am I, never before have I felt such fatigue. This tiredness is a true inescapable plight, hypnos put his full pussy into this honk shu mimimimi I'm about to experience.

Me, when I finally get in bed: wow let's stare into the darkest corner of my room and ponder every facial expression I saw today with deep shame and regret for the next hour.

[ketyoulater]

I ran into a Valorant team that is for "women and nonbinary people only" and I know I dislike that sentiment for various reasons much I'm curious about other people's opinion too.

[ketyoulater]

My sweet cheese, my good time boy, my favorite gerbil

[ketyoulater]

me, about to eat a banana: im so craving this im gonna fill this dish will like half a cup of peanut butter and its gonna be delicious

me, halfway through the banana: if i ever lay eyes on these two foods again i will violently eject all of my organs from my body

[ketyoulater]

IM FREEEEEEE