#kg rambling like an idiot

[paper-cities]

op I am SCREAMING TO YOU ABOUT KILLUGON THEY ARE THE BRAINWORMS THE VOICES

Other than that I hope you understand how much the tags on your last kitty Killua post hurt me (and made me laugh, emotional rollercoaster love it)

Don't mind me I'm just going insane and I'd love to scream more at you but I NEED YOUR KG HEADCANONS SO WE CAN SCREAM TOGETHER

HI HELLO ANON!!! Ty for allowing me to break your heart w silly killugon animal au!!!!! I can fit SO MUCH hurt/comfort into these bad boys <33

Incoming rambling under the cut (I'm sorry)

I posted some general killugon hcs here but there are always more soooo:

-Alluka and Nanika bond with Gon super quick. Killua finds it incredibly charming.

-Everyone else knows Gon and Killua are meant to be for AGES before they realize it. It makes Leorio want to scream sometimes, but Kurapika holds him back because "they have to get together on their own time. No one should rush them."

-Gon with dimples, need I say more?

Also I'm obsessed with my silly animal au rn so here's some hcs for that too (sorry):

-I think in this AU animal features are rare and part of the reason Killua and Gon bond. Killua and Alluka/Nanika are the only Zoldycks to inherit their dad's animal features and the Zoldycks take this as part of the reason Killua needs to be the next heir.

-Killua's pupils dilate and he slow blinks like a cat at Gon sometimes. Gon is oblivious to what this means (i trust you/love you in cat speak). Someone points it out one day and Killua is ridiculously embarrassed bcus he doesnt realize hes doing it.

-Gon wags his tail so hard his whole bottom half shakes sometimes. Ofc hes hit his tail on many things (and people) leading to numerous injuries both to himself and others. After he gets it docked (partly due to injuries inflicted on him and the aforementioned injuries he gives himself) he basically just wags his whole butt when hes excited. Killua thinks its super cute but would never admit it.

-If they're apart Gon likes to carry something that smells like Killua (a shirt or jacket) because he's got a blood hound sense of smell. He finds it immensely comforting. Before they get together Gon makes up excuses about why he's doing it, after they're official he admits the truth and Killua feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner.

-Gon gets called guard dog by strangers sometimes because of how he protects Mito, then Killua, and eventually Alluka and Nanika too. Killua jokingly calls him a "good boy". It's meant to be patronizing, but totally gives Gon butterflies. He tries to play it off, but flushing cheeks and fierce wagging give him away every time.

-Play bite each other when wrestling as kids on their limbs. When they reunite as adults who dont know how to handle emotions they end up wrestling again and Gon bites Killua on the neck. They both get too flustered to keep fighting and make up excuses to stop and pretend like theyre totally not in love with each other because it's Very Normal And Very Not At All Romantic to leave bite marks on your friend.

ANYWAY IF YOU READ ALL THAT YOURE A TROOPER TY and ofc pls scream to me abt your hcs!!!!!!!

[thescribblings]

Just some random lil fun facts about my peepaw au, since i can

1, his tail isn't natural whasoever. He spent too much time in radioactive areas and boom! Lil nub tail popped up one day! (No, he didn't notice it until someone pointed it out, and yes, it can retract, but it's uncomfortable after a while, lol)

2, it's called 'slightly feral future leo for a reason, i just haven't explored it properly yet so i don't have many explanations atm '•>• (except that he has 'mission mode', it's basically ptsd but with extra ✨️spice✨️)

3, this man is like, really fuckin active (living my dreams fr) one of his favorite things to do when he isn't lounging on the couch is run! And boy, does he run, he was a lil too eager to get back to it when his abdomen was healing, and luckily nothing bad really happened, but he did get an earful from everyone else

4, contrary to most, my peepaw doesn't have a lot of self depricating thoughts! They're there, but they don't run the show, y'know?

5, like i mentioned in the post about his prosthetic, he's really fuckin heavy (200-250ish kg or 440-550ish lbs), and for good reason! On top of the heavy ass shell attached to him, the undeniable fact that he's mainly made of muscle and built like a damn tank and his prosthetic, i decided to make him 7'4, 223,5cm. What can i say? Tall idiots scratch an itch in my brain

6, he has zero sleep schedule, you will find him awake at the most random of hours, in the most random of places (sometimes he's up for days, but we'll get into that in the future) you'll also find him sleeping in random ass spots, on a light fixture in donnie's lab? Yep. In a corner, crammed between pipes? Yessir. In the middle of the floor? Obviously. Literally in the fuckin closet? Yes. Turtle brain go brrr

7, onto one of my favorites, i personally believe (as illogical as it may be) that rumbling vs churring has to do with size to some extent, the smaller turtles can rumble but they have to think about it, the bigger turtles do it on instinct, make sense? Lemme tell you, this man can sound like a fuckin engine sometimes, mikey loves it ofc. oh, and he makes more turtle noises than the others lol, part of the whole 'feral' thing

8, he's very interested in unicorns still, once a leo, always a leo. But he's also very interested in fashion, and mainly different clothes that look good, are comfortable, AND that he can kick someone's ass in, so he mainly wears loose clothing, and despite the choking hazard, often wears his scarf! I just don't know how to draw it yet, lol (and yes, present leo did get him a unicorn onesie, he loved it)

Oh! And he does usually wear a prosthetic arm, i just havent designed one yet lol (and I'm enjoying not having to draw 2 arms)

Thank you for reading my ramblings!

Have nice day

[kaigazing]

Kaisoo after Hogwarts (slytherin!soo/hufflepuff!nini)

(because im enslaved to this au right now and i will probs never write this as a fic since i know jack shit about harry potter)

the two secretly dated during their later years as students (only exo knew definitively that they were dating, the rest of the school just kinda assumed)

secretly because kyungsoo comes from a long line of purebloods, and not the nice kind. his parents are openly prejudiced against muggle-born wizards like jongin and just generally look down on muggles. also, very homophobic and just genuinely nasty people

you can see the issue here right?

so soo is also a year ahead of jongin, meaning there’s a gap in which kyungsoo is gone while jongin is finishing up his final year

before kyungsoo graduated, they soft broke up, mainly just because kyungsoo is practical and figured it would be stupid to expect jongin to stay loyal to him for an entire year with little contact other than letters

jongin agrees because he assumes it kyungsoo who wants to get away from him and in the end he values kyungsoos happiness above his

so kyungsoo plays the good son for another year while jongin is still in school. he gets an internship under his father in the ministry of magic and he absolutely hates it but he deals

kaisoo keeps a letter correspondence during this gap year, but the letters considerably dwindle toward the end

kyungsoo does send jongin a congratulatory message for his graduation though!! 

jongin immediately looks for internships in the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures (care of magical creatures had always been his favorite class at hogwarts) and gets in

the two meet up in the ministry. its awkward and cute and its like that gap year didnt exist

kyungsoo invites jongin out for coffee, and jongin agrees even though he hates coffee because he wants to hang out with soo now that theyre adults™ 

they settle into a  routine: the two meet up for coffee before the work day, catching each other up on their lives (yeah, kyungsoo’s parents are still prejudiced dicks and jongin’s mom’s cafe is doing well)

it takes no effort to achieve the same closeness they had at hogwarts; it becomes overwhelmingly obvious the two are still crazy about each other

jongin breaks routine and invites kyungsoo out for dinner one night, and the two realize its a date like half way into their entrees

jongin admits that he never dated anyone during his last year at hogwarts and threw himself into his studies, holding onto the hope that kyungsoo would be willing to take him back after graduating and getting a good job

surprise!! kyungsoo didnt date anyone either. he entertained his parents and their attempts to set him up with girls from ~respectable~ pureblood families but he never let it go further than the initial date

falling in love the second time is incredibly easy consider theyve been head over heels for each other for a few years now

however, theres still that looming obstacle: kyungsoo’s parents

jongin assures him that they dont need to tell them right now, and that jongin’s mother loves and supports their relationship and they could go to her for any parental support they needed

so kyungsoo lets it sit for a few months, happily visiting jongin’s family in muggle london

during these visits, kyungsoo shows of his innate talent for pastry decorating and cooking in general, further impressing jongin’s mom who already adored him (the kims love him okay)

however the pain of hiding himself and his love for jongin from his parents eventually catches up with him

kyungsoo resolves that even if he and jongin for some reason DONT last, at least he’ll finally be out to his parents and have this burden off his conscious

it goes as well as you’d expect. theres a lot of screaming and crying and in the end, kyungsoo gets burnt off the family tapestry a la sirius black

soo is understandably devastated. he prepared himself for this exact scenario but (whether foolishly or not can be debated) had a sliver of hope that his parents would put his mental wellbeing and happiness over their views and traditions

its a shitty and depressing time for him, but he has jongin and the kim family to comfort him

in the true slytherin way, kyungsoo gets fed up with his own lethargy and decides to create goals for himself and sets to achieve all of them

first on the list: quit that awful ministry job he never wanted

jongin’s mother immediately asks him to work at her cafe, mentioning that she’d been keeping an eye on him and waiting for an opportunity to snatch him up

slowly but surely kyungsoo grasps control of his life again

kaisoo move to an apartment in muggle london, quite close to jongin’s mother in fact. the two often commute to the cafe together

jongin keeps his job in the ministry (he really loves animals alright) and thats all the connects kyungsoo has to the wizarding world anymore (besides his own magic, of course)

flash forward a year or two, and we see kaisoo happily engaged. kyungsoo does take the kim surname as per western traditions. however, he also kinda wants to disconnect himself from the do name

they do eventually adopt! they have a son who is sorted into ravenclaw and is the same year as baekyeol’s twins (one slytherin one gryffindor). the three are two years behind baekyeol’s daughter (gryffindor)

ive got plotlines for their son but i wont write about it lol

ok this ended up being more kyungsoo after hogwarts im sorry i snubbed nini

i might eventually write a fic about this but dont hold your breath lmao

[valiendomother]

i never knew relocating my cat internationally would be so g-ddamn expensive

i was expecting for it to not be cheap, but i wasn’t expecting for it to be as expensive as a fucking new car

los 8 kilos más caros de toda mi pinchi vida

a picture for you, so i can be held accountable for not opening the door by ‘accident’ so he can casually escape into the night

[yourstruly-clover]

Here's a Drabble, I'll probably fix some of the pacing in the morning but I just needed to write to calm myself down so here we are. And also the lack of SailorKing stuff I write is depressing and as the writer I must provide for myself. But yeah kill me if it's too fastly paced, or for the sad stufff, I'm half asleep rn

Anyways here ya go peeps!

(peeps being @piper-koko-barnes-rogers )

---------------------------------------------------

"WHAT DO THEY MEAN ELSA'S NOT A DAMN LESBIAN?!"

Friday nights at the palace, everybody. Friday nights where a king and a pirate sat watching Disney films to their hearts' content, enjoying the time with heaps of criticism towards every movie.

"Laurie really. Last week you said Cinderella-"

"Was gonna end up in an insane asylum, no sane prince is gonna keep a lass who's eventually gonna start talkin' about pumpkin carriages and mice turned into humans and horses. They're gonna have to talk about it at some point."

"...They made 2 sequels."

"STILL!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS "SHOW YOURSELF" SUNG FOR THEN?! SHE'S A LESBIAN, GOLDIE."

KG sighed in defeat, burying his face into a pillow. His boyfriend was an idiot (who wasn't wrong though).

Boyfriend.

The word bounced around in his head, growing louder and louder than Laurie's rambles. 2 weeks of dating the pirate captain, and the king couldn't understand why Laurie wanted to date him anyways. What was Laurie seeing in him? The thoughts started to snowball, growing more and more, much to the king's dismay.

"Goldiiieeee."

"Mhm?"

"Can I say something?'

"Am I gonna regret saying yes?"

"I didn't think I was a snowman, but you just made my heart melt."

"Already requesting you shut up," KG said, fighting back a smile as he lightly punched a laughing Laurie in the arm.

"Listen, I love you enough that I'm shooting shots with terrible pick-up lines. Suffer!"

KG rolled his eyes, letting his arms drop to hold his knees to his chest. Laurie grinned, sticking out his tongue in response. For a while, they sat in silence in the dark room, soft moonlight pouring in through the windows. Just each other's presence seemed enough. So there they sat. In such a peaceful, yet irritating silence. KG bit his tongue, trying to hold back so many questions. Questions fueled by his own self-judgement. How could Laurie love him. Why him? Why why why why why-

"Why me?"

Laurie snapped back to reality, staring at the king curiously. "What do ya mean?"

"Why do you like me?"

Laurie laughed, tilting his head in confusion. "You mean why do I like you in general? In a dating sense? Odd question easily answered, Goldie."

The king didn't respond, closing his eyes with a sigh as he tried to calm his nerves. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. In, hold, out. Four, seven, eight.

"Because I absolutely adore ya. Everything you are, everything you do, I adore it all. You're fantastical. Plain and simple. I could go on for days with more reasons, but there's it simple as pie," Laurie said, a sense of sureness in his tone. It was the truth, after all.

The king gazed off, letting out a humorless laugh.

"You sure you didn't choose the wrong person?" He said, his voice dull.

"What?"

"I mean it! I mean you're you, you're the amazing one, what am I? I'm me! Some sad excuse of a king who can barely stand up for himself as it is."

"Goldie-"

"There's plenty of others out there who are amazing in every which way, and you chose me. Of all the fish in the sea Laurie."

"Goldie-"

"There are people out there who are better than me, Laurie. I'm nothing special. I'm just as normal as anyone, you deserve someone else, someone...someone just as magnificent as you. I surely don't deserve you."

"Goldie you're wrong-"

"I'M NOT," he snapped, his eyes brimming with tears. Laurie froze at the sudden temper, the interjection he had dying in his throat. "There are so, so many things wrong with me, you say I'm all these magnificent things but I'm not! I'm not who you want, who you need in your life. I- I know that. I know that. You say such nice things that aren't true, I'm not stupid. You deserve better, Laurie. Someone who doesn't come with so much to care for, someone you can have fun with. You absolutely do-"

"George." Laurie said, walking over and sitting in front of the surprised king, holding his shaking hands in his own. "I know what I want, and who I like. And you make me feel so, so many things, so many good things. Hell, by the first time we started sending letters I was a lovestruck idiot anytime I saw or heard from you. I've fallen so damn hard for you. Every time you laugh or smile, I just fall even more head over heels. You're so difficult not to fall for, and you're so difficult on yourself. Don't argue that "oh, there are plenty of better people out there for you Laurie," no, there isn't," he said. "Nowhere in the world. I've traveled all over, and no one beats you and your heart of gold. You are the best person you can possibly be, words of Parliament and the world be damned. I'm choosing to stay by your side, be there to pick you up when you fall. Look at me," he said, looking KG right in his honey-gold eyes. "You're perfect, and no amount of words could express what I think of you. Accept that you can be loved, and that you are loved Goldie. And I'll remind you forever and always. I love you, a million times over," he said softly, wiping away the tears streaming down KG's face, waiting for permission from a nod "okay" before gently pressing his lips against the king's.

"I love you, Goldie."

[vaguely-concerned]

I am reading the Rogue One visual guide and I’m going to ramble at you about it

Starting with Baze and Chirrut facts because nothing is more important than Baze and Chirrut

- The Guardians of the Whills believe very deeply in the Force but their cosmology doesn’t center any fight between light and dark and they believe mortal minds can ‘encompass the totality of the Force’ with the right training (seemingly even for non-Force sensitives). *thinks of a little green baby who’s going to need some help with his place in the universe one day and how reductive the light/dark side dichotomy can be* good to know good to know. yes everything eventually comes down to baby yoda and his poor stressed out dad. protect them

- “Opposites in balance. Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus share a homeworld and a history, although they strike a compelling contrast. Baze is a hardened pragmatist, while Chirrut’s faith flourishes even in trying times. They both claim to act as the protector of the other.” 

in every way they are #goals. bffs/partners to lovers is Everything. ‘They both claim to act as the protector of the other’ is very funny and very sweet and very true; my favourite thing

- this book describes chirrut as baze’s ‘best friend and moral compass’, which is a funny way of spelling ‘husband of 30 years’ but who am I to criticize 

- baze is just. he’s so good. they say here pragmatism is his biggest trait but you can tell how much love has been at the center of him (and probably continues to be under it all) from the totality of his rage. I don’t think you can be this deeply hurt without loving just as deeply first. (like chirrut says, he used to believe more than anyone and now he’s thrown aside literally everything about the guardians except chirrut) it’s like he’s suffered a moral wound just seeing what’s happened to his home and it won’t heal and it never does, he just loses chirrut too and then at least it’s over. jesus christ it’s so soul crushingly sad in a quiet undramatic way 

- “Though both are Guardians of the Whills, Baze and Chirrut could not be more different in their approach to combat. Traditionalist Chirrut still carries weapons associated with the ancient order, while Baze adopts an implement of modern warfare. Their methods suit them individually, and both are effective extensions of their distinctive personalities. Though Baze may chide Chirrut for his antiques, and Chirrut may decry Baze’s reliance on soulless tools, they trust each other’s defences to such weapons.”

THEY TRUST EACH OTHER’S DEFENCES TO SUCH WEAPONS. YOU HAD TO WORD IT LIKE THAT HUH. YOU HAD TO GO AND MAKE IT CLEAR THEY’RE EACH OTHER’S MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. WHAT. THE FUCK

- it’s implied baze’s hair used to be shorter when he was a Guardian! he’s just let it grow past what’s customary for them (and an excellent choice too his hair is wonderful)

- his repeating blaster is described as ‘modified and highly illegal’ hahaha

it also weighs 30 kg and is meant to be mounted on a tank

baze is the best

- chirrut built his own lightbow! apparently used to be a thing the guardians did to symbolize the end of their training. I wonder if baze used to have one too? even more I wonder if they’ve always been part of the same uh ‘divisions’ or what have you within the guardians, because I think there are some implications that baze has been more of an assassin/focused on violent conflicts even before the empire came and chirrut hasn’t

- this book does not adequately capture chirrut’s trickster/funny side, making me wonder how much of that was an addition by the actor and how much was planned out

- honestly... more baze & chirrut (well baze/chirrut let’s not play here) prequel books WHEN. what does their living room look like (because we do know they live together) how did they meet, when exactly did baze lose his faith and chirrut his sight, what was their first kiss like 

inquiring minds want to know (it’s me I want to know) 

- unless the wording is deliberately misleading here chirrut was not born blind (though he won’t discuss how he ended up this way) and he’s learned his current fighting technique over a prolonged period of time 

- bodhi is a bit of a gambling addict! and specifically one who’s pretty good at it; even after the empire knows he’s a defector he gets past their restrictions because he’s saved up all the credits/favours/even id-vouchers he’s owed by other imperial grunts fsdhfksdjf precious I love him 

- saw gerrera’s medical droid a) has been modified so its programming won’t stop it from being able to dispense drugs at dangerous intervals, b) professes sheer bafflement that saw is still alive and c) is ‘frequently deactivated to prevent it from building an ethical case to discontinue treatment’. I find the whole thing darkly hilarious.  

- there are literally whole subplots going on in the crowd scenes on Jedha about a mad evil surgeon who ‘decraniates’ people (essentially turning them into mindless servile husks with all of their head above the nose cut off, somehow), a masked cop from the Milvayne Authority who’s gone rogue to do the right thing and hunt him down against orders, a death cult, a bunch of different religious sects, a translation droid who has befriended a group of local orphans and shares his credits with them so they can eat and he’s SAVING UP FOR A PROCESSOR UPGRADE SO HE CAN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF SPIRITUALITY ;_____; what the fuck I want a tv-series about this droid IMMEDIATELY 

- this book shows you just how crucial K-2 is as an asset and what a masterstroke cassian’s reprogramming of him is... and it says some very, very sweet things about cassian as a person under all the trauma and spy stuff that he essentially treats him as his best friend instead of a tool. cASSIAN he deserved to survive and have SO much therapy ;_____; ah well at least we’re getting a prequel series about him right? pls be good

- oh cassian was a proper separatist during the clone wars! he probably has some very interesting points of view about the republic pre- and post empire huh (this is what I love about the clone wars era; they have built SUCH a believable and interesting political world here, all shades of grey. there were separatists with very valid points even thought they were lead by a guy named COUNT DOOKU played by CHRISTOPHER LEE, the first sign that you should look inwards and ask yourself... wait are we the bad guys)

- it’s so much more understandable to me now who in the rebel leadership is for following jyn’s plan and who is not. (namely: the ministers of finance and industry are both Not Into challenging the empire directly, kind of understandably)

in depth description of weapons technology... I sleep. deep dives into the political structure of the alliance leadership and their backgrounds and motivations? I have never been happier

(this. sort of should have been in the actual movie tho things would have made more sense)

- BAIL ORGANA Leia’s actual dad out there lookin’ fiiine, being righteous and good, almost making me forget he’s going to die SO SOON oh fuck :( 

- orson krennic is, presumably straight faced, described as ‘a cruel but brilliant man’ which is PATENTLY LUDICROUS because krennic is by literally every indication a fucking idiot, he needs galen to do all the real work for him, he mouths off to DARTH VADER and then tarkin just effortlessly swoops in and fucks him over in the end, easily outmaneuvering him... orson krennic is a fucking loser I don’t care if he’s the one who introduced brutalist architecture to coruscant

lol lol lol *arrow pointing towards krennic’s head* ‘Keen mind dissects architectural puzzles and conspiratorial plots’ okay I see what happened here orson krennic wrote this book 

- oh galen erso is kind of one of the most interesting and heartbreaking characters in all of star wars. (and I do not say this just because of mads mikkelsen’s cheek bones) he’s incredibly intelligent but from a really poor family and wanted to eliminate the difference between rich and poor and invent a new form of infinitely renewable energy... and technically he did achieve that, except his old college buddy orson krennic immediately found a way to use his technology for genocide and he didn’t realize until it was too late :’) there is something so comforting in the fact that in the end galen still got the last laugh in the most epic but unsung way. he’s the sort of quiet Magnificent Bastard who doesn’t even care he’ll never get the credit as long as it worked. u did good on that one jyn

also several of the scientists galen is leading on eadu are in the same category as him -- captured and forced to work for the empire. so that’s great and not at all upsetting 

- galen and lyra’s falling in love story is kind of sweet (though naturally it pales against baze and chirrut’s whole deal but then who could compare) and the sheer effort and detail that’s gone into building the farmstead in the beginning we end up seeing for 5 minutes... dude (it feels very convincingly like somewhere a family would live though) 

- *sees that ‘databook’ is a concept that exists apparently; groans in fic research I thought ‘holodisc’ might do the job but maybe this is a better fit*

- I will say that my largest gripe with this movie is how glaringly unnecessarily male it is. there’s literally no reason for most of the rebels and ESPECIALLY all of the scientists to be male but here we are. 

well the stormtroopers could all canonically be any gender behind the armor so uh that’s. something lol

- despite being all desert-y jedha is apparently quite cool! temperature-wise I mean though the huge ancient statues lying everywhere are pretty awesome too

- wow stormtrooper armor really does just suck huh. it’s like ‘well it might protect you from a blaster bolt if you stand upwind and angle yourself just right, who knows’. I guess this is why everyone and their grandmothers are drooling over mando’s beskar lol

- star wars’ insistence on sticking to single-biome planets is so silly and I love it. stick to that incomprehensible world building decision lucasfilm I respect you

- mon mothma! basically the most important character in the star wars universe who most people won’t know about lol she’s like the anti-palps. for the most part she is one of the most Big Goods in all of star wars (along with bail) but also she’s played by the actress who voices moira in overwatch so I do instinctively distrust her whenever I hear her talk haha. called palpatine a ‘lying executioner’ to his face which is both admirably bold and remarkably restrained, considering all the things palpatine is.

- oof the two people mentioned the most on anakin/vader’s pages are palpatine and obi wan. that’s. hurtful and bad and awful. the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making me watch ‘clone wars’ because watching ‘clone wars’ actually made me care about anakin skywalker :(

-ah shit this is a lot of pages about pasty empire dudes i’ll uh come back to these lol

[elizabethsharmon]

One down, five to go

Skam Month: week three, day five (fredag) ⇾ free choice

↳ When Yousef and Sana's first baby is born, he decides to take things in his hands. But his actions may have some unexpected effects... 

Read on AO3

“Dude, what are you doing here?” Elias stormed at Yousef once he went out of the room. “Why aren’t you inside?”

“Yousef, is everything alright?” Mr. Bakkoush asked approaching them.

“Yousef, man, what’s going on?” Elias kept on asking but Yousef just stared blankly at them.

Finally he said:

“She kicked me out.”

“What???” Elias asked confused.

“She kicked me out.” Yousef repeated. “She said that it’s all my fault and that she hates me and I don’t want her to hate me, I love her, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me, I mean not the thing, she is not a thing, she is a person, but she’s the best and I love her but she said that she doesn’t want me there and that I did it to her and she doesn’t want to see me and…” he said everything in one breath and he would probably keep on rambling if Mr. Bakkoush hadn’t put his hand on Yousef’s arm.

“Son” he said. “Everything is okay. She doesn’t hate you. She’s just going through a lot right now. So just get yourself together and go back in, okay?”

He could hear his friends standing nearby and silently laughing, clearly amused by the whole situation. He also noticed that his parents and Sana’s friends have just arrived and were going in their direction. But Yousef was just standing there completely numb, shifting his look from Mr. Bakkoush and Elias, still very confused and worried, still not sure what to do.

“Okay” he finally said. “I’m going in.”

“Yeah, bro, do that.” Elias encouraged him and patted him on the back.

Yousef took one final look at all of them and went back to the room.

Before he shut the door, they could all hear Sana screaming “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN???” from inside.

                                                    ***

He came back to the hallway after 3 hours. Completely exhausted, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, his t-shirt stuck to his body, he leaned against the wall as everyone surrounded him, waiting with anticipation for him to say anything.

“It’s a girl.”

Everyone started cheering, hugging him and saying “congratulations!”. Elias then shouted “I’m an uncle!” and he and the rest of the boys started fighting with him that they’re her uncles, too, but Elias told them that he is the only real uncle. His parents, his father-in-law and the girls wanted to know all the details, how does she look (she looks perfect), did she take after him or after Sana (definitely after Sana, thank God), how much does she weight (2.9 kg), how tall is she (53 cm), what was her Apgar score (10/10) and other things. When they finally stopped nagging him with all these questions and left him enough space to finally breathe, he has just slid down and sat on the floor.

He was a father now.

                                                    ***

Yousef and Elias had to barricade the entrance to Sana’s room because the boys insisted on seeing the “Ballon Squad’s First Baby” (as they’ve already named her). After Mr. Bakkoush and Sana’s doctor told them that they should give the mother and the baby some time to rest, they’ve finally let go and left with the girls (although they said they’ll definitely come back the next day and this time they will go inside no matter what), while Bakkoushs and Acars went in to see the new addition to their families.

                                                    ***

After their daughter finally fell asleep, Sana kicked Yousef out and told him to go home and get some rest. He didn’t want to go, he wanted to stay with them forever, but Sana insisted that it’s already 2 a.m. and he doesn’t need to be here watching them sleep (Yousef had a different opinion about that, so to speak), but she will need him here in the morning, fresh and rested, so he finally let go, kissed the two women of his life on the forehead and went home.

He took a cold shower and went to bed. But he couldn’t fall asleep, not after such an eventful day. He couldn’t really believe that she was finally here, the past 9 months were the longest – but also the most happiest – months of his life. It seemed like it was only yesterday when Sana told him she is pregnant.

They went out to eat something with their friends and Sana was acting very strange that evening. After the dinner they all wanted to go bowling or go to the cinema but Sana was very moody and started telling them that she does not wish to support the American culture spread to Norway by seeing their clichéd films nor she wants to go and wear some smelly shoes after another person to just throw a stupid ball and pretend that she’s having “fun” and that she had enough of the “fun” for this evening (and she really did insert quotation marks when she was saying this) and that she is going back home. Without waiting for Yousef she just turned around and started walking towards the bus stop.

“You know, Sana, you could have just said you want to come back home, there was really no need for saying all those things and making them all feel bad.” he said when they came back home.

“Oh yes, because it’s always all about them, all about how OTHERS feel, isn’t it? Well, know this. In this particular moment I don’t give a damn about how they’re feeling, okay? They’ve made me feel like shit so many times before, I don’t always have to be nice to them, so stop acting like you care about them so much, okay?!” she screamed at him and he was then more confused than ever.

“Sana, what’s going on? Why are you acting like this?”

She started to look for something in her bag and finally pulled out a piece of paper which she threw at him, screaming:

“Because I’m pregnant, you idiot!” and then she turned her back and ran to the bathroom, leaving him completely dumbstruck, holding a piece of paper against his chest.

He looked at it but all he could see were just some medical names and the percents with some numbers, he didn’t understand a thing from it. He followed her to the bathroom, she was sitting on the floor, crying. When he sat next to her, she started talking, looking numbly at the wall:

“We were practicing drawing blood today at the university. From each other. And later we were doing blood tests. And Isak wanted to draw my blood again, because he said he messed something up with the previous sample, but then he did it again and the result was the same and he just let me see and… And I’m pregnant.” finally she shifted her eyesight from the wall and looked at him “Yousef, I’m pregnant.”

He was folding the blood results she gave him all the time she was talking. He could feel her eyes looking at him and he finally managed to lift his head. He was studying her face for a while, before finally his lips broke into a huge smile and he shouted quietly:

“We’re going to have a baby!”

“So you’re happy?” she asked shyly.

“Sana, are you kidding me? Am I happy? Come on, Sana, don’t make me throw you under the shower!”

Now she also started laughing. They’re going to have a baby.

They’ve decided not to tell anyone before the end of the first trimester. It was really hard for Yousef to keep his mouth shut, there were so many times he had to bite his tongue before accidentally slipping the news to the boys. Finally, they’ve decided to tell everyone during Sana’s birthday party. They thought it wouldn’t be weird to give every guest a little gift – after all not only they were the hosts of the party, but it was also Christmas Eve and even though they weren’t celebrating it, little gifts wouldn’t seem to be something unusual. So after Sana had blew out the candles, they asked everyone to open their little boxes. Inside each of them there was an ultrasound photo. They all were completely shocked and didn’t seem to be completely sure what was going on until Sana said “I’m pregnant” and Yousef added “We’re having a baby”.

Two months later on a lazy Sunday afternoon, Yousef was chilling on the couch, watching a basketball game. He could hear Sana coming into the room from the kitchen and out of the sudden she said:

“Stephen is kicking”

“What?” he asked, he didn’t know where’s this coming from, Stephen Curry was not playing in this game and is the verb ‘kicking’ even used in the basketball vocabulary? But she just repeated:

“Stephen is kicking”

“What?” he asked really confused and turned around to look at her.

“Stephen. Is. Kicking.” she articulated every single word very slowly and clearly, pointing to her belly.

He jumped out of the couch immediately and ran towards her, placing her hand on her tummy. He could feel it. He could feel their baby. He looked at her with pure admiration on his face and she just laughed. But soon when it hit him, he stopped smiling at her and she stopped laughing when she saw the look on his face.

“What?”

“Sana, did you seriously just called our baby Stephen? Sana our baby will not be named Stephen. We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.” he reminded her, they didn’t want to know, they wanted to be surprised.

“Oh, I know, but I can feel it’s a boy and Stephen is just a perfect name for him!”

“Nei, Sana. No way. We will not name our son Stephen. Over my dead body.”

“Well, we’ll see about that.”

And for the past four months she was teasing him all the time, saying things like “I’m so tired, I think Stephen and I will go and get some sleep” or “oh, I must eat some pickles, Stephen adores them”, and soon it became a running joke among their friends and family and everyone was just texting Yousef asking him “how are Sana and Stephen doing?” and things like that. But the only one who never laughed at that was Yousef.

So when few hours ago, they finally got to hold their baby for the first time and after they both said that she is beautiful and perfect and how much they love her and each other, he asked her teasingly:

“So no Stephen, huh?”

“Well, not this time.”

But now, laying in the bed at 4 a.m. in the morning Yousef decided that there won’t be another time. He won’t take any risk about that. And when he decided what he would do, he was finally able to fall asleep.

                                                     ***

It was almost 10 a.m. when he finally arrived at the hospital. When he entered Sana’s room, she was laying on the bed, holding their daughter tucked up in her arms. He kissed both of them on the forehead and sat on the edge of the bed. Only then he noticed the balloons in the corner of the room.

“Wait, have the boys came here already? I told them not to bother you until I call them that they can come!”

“No, Noora and Eva came by on their way to work. And they’ve also brought us this.” she said pointing to the book of names laying on the bedside table. “We should pick a name. Since Stephen is no longer an option, we’re left with nothing. I was looking through it and I like some of them, so I thought that maybe you would take a look at all of them today and later will do the final selection, huh? Yousef, are you even listening to me?”

He finally dared to look at Sana with a guilty look on his face.

“Sana, I have to tell you something but please don’t be mad at me.”

“Okay, I’m already getting mad when you say things like that. What have you done, Yousef?”

“I… I’ve already picked the name.” he said and Sana looked relieved.

“Ugh, thank God, I thought something worse has happened. What’s the name you like?”

“Sana, no. You misunderstood me. I’ve already registered her in the office.” as soon as he said that he could see the change on Sana’s face, she was already furious.

“You did WHAT??? You named MY DAUGHTER without telling me???” she yelled at him.

“Hey, she’s my daughter, too.” he reminded her.

“I’m not so sure about that now!”

“What do you mean?” he asked really confused. “Sana???”

“HOW COULD YOU PICK THE NAME OF MY FIRSTBORN WITHOUT TELLING ME FIRST???” she screamed and their daughter started to fidget restlessly in Sana’s arms.

“Sana, please calm down.”

She took a deep breath and with fire in her eyes, she asked him:

“What’s the name?”

“Okay, I will tell you but first you have to give me her, because I’m worried you might do something to her.”

“Yousef, tell me the name.”

“Sana, pass me the baby.”

She looked at him really angrily and finally gave him the baby. In return he took his backpack from the ground and gave it to her.

“The certificate is inside.”

He focused his eyes on his little girl, he didn’t dare to look at Sana’s face when she finds out. Soon he heard her angry sigh.

“Nei, nei, nei, nei, nei. You did not name our daughter like this.”

“What do you think?”

“About the name?” she asked and he nodded. “I hate it.”

“No, Sana, you love it.” he said and smirked, still not looking at her.

“I. Hate. It.” in that moment the baby started crying and Sana thought it must be the sign as well. “See? She hates it, too.”

“No, she loves it.” Yousef said and finally looked at Sana. “And you love it, too.”

“No, I hate it. And I hate you. Look, she’s crying since you took her, she hates you, too.”

Yousef just chuckled at that and started to make funny faces at their daughter and talking in his special “just-for-children” voice.

“No, she loves me. Yes, you do! You see, Sana, she loves me! And she loves the name. Yes, she does! And yes, your mommy loves me, too, she’s just messing around with us. Yes! Yes, oh you’re so cute.” after talking like this for about 2 minutes and looking at her with pure admiration, she finally stopped crying and Yousef turned around to triumphantly look at Sana. “See? Told you she loves it.”

But Sana was still sitting there, looking at him with her death glare.

“Pass her to me.”

He just smiled really widely and placed their daughter in her arms.

“Go to your mommy, Stephanie Sana Bakkoush Acar.” he said, kissing her on the forehead. “You secretly love it, don’t you?” he asked Sana looking her directly in her eyes.

“No, I hate it.” she said and turned her gaze, but for a millisecond he could see a little smirk passing her face.

“No, you don’t.” he said, hugging her and when she was absolutely sure he cannot see her face, she smiled really widely at her daughter. She did love the name.

[peculiarentropy-blog]

Ramble

Okay, here we are again. I know I ramble a lot on here, but the title is a warning, so you can just skip this because it is as marketed, just me rambling about things in life, my life. I nag a lot on here, it’s my only outlet, so if you’re still reading this bear with me because I’m gonna make no sense at all.

It’s Sunday night and I’ve been thinking about life and what I’m doing with mine. I have been felling that I am super lazy and that this “couch potato” thing is not really the best way to spend my life. I’m like Nick Miller from New Girl, I never do anything. I spend my days (after classes and gym sometimes) at home watching meaningless youtube videos and just basically wasting time. At the same time, I can actually FEEL my brain cells melting and just dying. And that sucks. I mean I  have a 131 IQ which is pretty high but instead of doing stuff I’m just renting my grey matter for dumb shit. Why? 

In addition to that, I am NOT keeping up with a healthy diet. I don’t believe in going to a nutritionist to get a plan done or to have someone school me on what to eat. It’s useless. Everybody knows what’s good and what’s bad for you right? I have lost 3 kg since I started going to the gym. But that’s nowhere near the goal I had in mind. And it’s greatly because I just eat whatever the hell I want. 

So, I obviously need to do some changes to my daily life and routine. I  need to limit the amount of time I spend on youtube and online in general. And, I need to start eating better, healthier and be more active so I could have more fun in my life. I’m young and I want to make mistakes and stop playing it safe in everything I do. I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but sometimes I feel like I need to do crazy things so I could have stories to tell when I’m older, I want to collect memories that are wild and crazy idiotic things. I want to have these “Dear Diary” moments. 

I don’t know if I’m making any sense. I gave a fare waning in the beginning so, if you’re still reading it’s on you. Plus I don’t think anyone reads this, but it’s nice to pretend. 

So, changes, starting tomorrow? 

Good Luck G! 

[yourstruly-clover]

So we're talking and my dad was explaining how Mom hates any dessert with fruit anything in it, and he's rambling off desserts she won't eat, and when he mentioned sorbet, Mom goes

"Sorbet, sorbet's just for snooty people, like fancy idiots, like "OoH i'M hAvInG sOrBeT-"

And all I can imagine is literally anyone saying that around KG, and his overdramatic fanciful ass makes sorbet the only dessert he'll ever eat from there on out out of pure spite

[yourstruly-clover]

Y'know who I feel for? Winnie Forchester, resident garden witch, cuz my girl had to go a year with KG and Laurie separately visiting her whenever they could and rambling about the other, and both idiots swore Winnie to secrecy on their feelings. Meaning for example she couldn't tell Laurie "Hey, the royal idiot loves you."

You can bet KG would stop by for a weekly visit, they'd sit by the fire with herbal tea (peppermint for KG, chamomile for Winnie) and he'd ramble on for what felt like hours about the redheaded pirate, grinning like an idiot and stumbling over his words, clearly fallen head over heels. He'd tell stories, and he seemed to have no worries in the world for that moment. And he'd swear Winnie to secrecy. Winnie can't help but smile every time because it was rare to see the king so truly happy.

You can bet Laurie would swing round, they'd take walks through the forest, eventually taking a rest and Laurie's sitting in the grass strumming a ukulele while Winnie quietly scavenges for flowers, and lost in his own world, Laurie talks about "Goldie this" and "Goldie that". That funny little pet name he had given the king. Goldie. He's trying so hard to keep the conversation off of KG and failing so badly. And Laurie would swear Winnie to secrecy too. That the first time Winnie met the captain, spoke to him for that first time, she knew.

She had to sit back and watch as these two dumbasses took a year to admit their feelings to each other, and during that year she couldn't say shit, she could only listen.

And you can GUARANTEE SHE WAS SCREAMING INSIDE WITH THE SWORN TO SECRECY SHIT CUZ KG AND LAURIE HAD BUILT THE THICKEST WALL OF OBLIVION BETWEEN THEMSELVES SHE'S EVER SEEN-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her sibling is also feral (we love Wren tho, they're awesome) and she's got a bitchy village to put up with, hence why she lives on the outskirts to avoid everyone. So.

She's however, living the cottagecore witch life I wish I had. She's also "looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll, but could absolutely kill you if she wanted to."

Anyways sorry about this, I just needed to ramble about Winnie, I love her sm

[yourstruly-clover]

We stan a friend who can go from

- enabling me to steal a pride flag from the window of my dog's hair cutters place (I did not end up stealing the flag. He replied to said text like hours after we picked the dog up. His text was too late 😔)

to

- going off about how I need to sleep more and take better care of myself mentally, self care, etc.

to

- ranting about Heroes of Olympus while I'm dying laughing cuz it's entertainment for me reading these rants

to

- asking how Century is and asking if I wanna ramble about it or just talk about KG cuz he misses the overdramatic cat for some odd reason

In the span of a half hour. Like we're idiots and it's the best.