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#kinda looks like he has a sun burn LMAOOOO
megaawkwardhuman · 11 months
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day 21: 100% saturation
ok so if you wanna see the drawing but don't like looking at/can't really look at bright colors for long here's a pastel version of it
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as for the actual drawing for day 21 that's below the cut :]
MASSIVE EYESTRAIN WARNING! HOLY SHIT ARE THE COLORS HERE BRIGHT AF
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wellness center nandor my beloved
I saw an opportunity and I had to take it
for those who don't know this is a parody of this meme
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I tried making nandor bunny's fur color itself neon af buuut I couldn't find a way to do it that I liked so I only made it slightly brighter
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guacameowle · 6 years
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V’s After End - Notes / Opinion
Below the cut will be my reactions, opinions, & spoilers for V’s After Ending episodes & endings. There’s a sprinkling of ~thirst~ & a lot of confusion/screaming throughout. I am afraid I haven’t gone back to proofread the episode reactions, so they’re likely a little messy & misspelled. 
Episode reactions are at the top, separated by episode & endings. Long-winded opinion/discussion about the route itself is at the bottom.
Journey below at your own risk! xx
Episode 1
80 hourglasses for EPISODE ONE? Oh this man is EXPENSIIIIVE. How many episodes is this going to be? 8 TOTAL?! Goodness.
JUDGE OR FORGIVE?! Who am I judging & forgiving? Jihyun? Rika? Cauuuuuse... uhhhh.... that might change my answers a bit (a lot)
So this means there is going to be multiple endings, yeah?!
Probably hasn’t even kissed you yet & is already packing up, leaving, & asking you to wait for him. I WAIT FOR NO MAN (Jk I waited for this man for over a year. Fuck.)
Oh shiiiit. He’s leaving me his house?! Ok, I’ll wait. Have fun storming the castle! *waves*
Excuse me but does the news screen on Jumin’s tv in his room show a picture of Rika & a caption underneath that says “More Catfood”???
The bottom of the news reel also says “Does Jumin Han is Gay?” Please, release us. Let it die.
JUUUMIIIIN. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Let us comfort each other in these trying times. *waggles eyebrows*
JAEHEE COMING THROUGH WITH SOME GODDAMN SENSE & LOGIC. MY GIRL!
SOMEONE GET THIS MAN HIS WINE! Ohhh, nevermind he’s been drinking too much. Let’s have some water now, Juju.
This man is mourning & distraught. I am so sad for him. & now they’re making him dependent on alcohol to relieve his stress? Uh, I don’t like where this is going.
If anything happens to Jumin in this ending I swear...
WE HAVE CHATS TOO?! Damn what a complex update!
Wait, Zen WANTS to see MC & Jihyun being lovey dovey? Zen’s an imposter. He’s been replaced. That’s the real secret of this After End.
Oh wait, he said he was lying. Whew.
It is weird giving replies in chats & not seeing little colorful hearts flying everywhere…
Zen coming in HOT with the “Do you think you can forgive Rika?” question. Woooow.
You bet your ass I asked if anyone has heard anything from Ray. I’m going to cry.
NEW SEVEN CG! SO CUTE! VANDERWOOD IN THE RAFT! SO CUUUUUTE!
“He’s an adorable shy man.” Instantly chose this option. Vanderwood is cuuuute. Yes, Seven, please tell Vandy that I called him adorable & shy. Then tell me his reply. Then give him my number.
Yoosung’s got a package. I’M SURE HE DOES. ::eyes emoji::
OH SHIT, JUMIN DROPPING THE DNA BOMB. Wait, riddle me why the fuck Jumin had access to Seven’s DNA in the first place...
Poor Seven, I thought he had already sort of knew/assumed the hacker was his twin. But I guess he didn’t really know until now?
Looks like I’m on the “FORGIVE” path. Unlocked a Jumin’s VA free chat. Alriiiight.
Episode 2
Ray? Omg my eyes teared up. IS HE ALIVE?! WHAT KINDA SHORT TEASE OF A VOICE IS THAT?! OMFGGGGG. D:
Episode 2 & I’m already fucking crying. Great. Awesome. Lovely.
Honestly, I’m glad they’re having this discussion about V keeping all this information to himself about Saeran’s existence & use within Magenta because that’s always had me side-eyeing V HARD. I’m still of the opinion that he should have told at least Seven & Jumin about everything sooner. I get that he wanted to save Rika, but he was responsible for Saeran. I’m still heated.
SAEYOUNG HAS GONE ROGUE!
Mailman route when?! Kidding. His voice is nice though.
“Burn the letter” JESUS, MC. CALM IT DOWN.
RIKA WENT MISSING. OMFGGGG. THIS AFTER END! I JUST WANTED TO KISS JIHYUN. WHAT THE FRICK FRACK IS GOING ON?!
“We found remnants of DNA that matched with those of Luciel scattered about in the remains of Magenta. Since the explosion was of no ordinary size….” My heart hurts. My head hurts. My soul hurts.
This super sad music is just making me feel worse. I hate this. I’m crying again. I’m getting emotional whiplash.
Ray deserved better. Full stop.
Rika & Saeyoung left alone & Ray’s theme starts playing. How fucking dare this game fuck with me. I’m literally lying on the floor in a ball, playing this game & crying. What the hell.
For a second I saw Saeyoung making that fist in the CG & thought he was about to punch Rika.
Wow can y’all believe Jihyun basically Noped the Fuck Out of his own After End?
Hey Siri, turn off Rika’s voice.
Seven is dropping a lot of truth. ::quietly sips my tea::
God, Saeyoung’s prayer to Saeran is heartbreaking. Props to this VA though, damn he’s good.
Still on the “FORGIVE” path. I’m going to have fun going back & taking the judgement path.
Episode 3
Jumin “THERE WILL BE NO MORE SECRETS” Han fucking coming through! My boy! God, I love him so much.
First sun reference we’ve had. I thought there would be more by now.
Jihyun is out there falling in love with an MC in his head that he’s hardly spoken with since he left. That… can’t be healthy, my dude.
Jumin showing up in the goddamn woods in his suit is hot.
Jumin Han is so so good, y’all. This conversation between him & Saeyoung is absolutely amazing. He’s doing his best to comfort & protect at the same time. He asked about Saeran. He’s encouraging Saeyoung to live, helping him understand he’ll come out of this pain & find new reasons to live. He’s struggling too, but he’s doing so much to reach out & help Saeyoung.
The line about creating a new family, one without blood ties, broke me.
Uhhhh…. who was that? “We found him but that woman is with him.” Saeyoung & Rika?
THE STRESS GAVE ZEN A PIMPLE. Can relate.
Hell yeah I flirted with Zen. He is still prettier than starlight.
“Why don’t you come over? :)” MC. GIRL. …. I like the way you think.
Yoosung: “WELL I’M NOT GANDHI.” I fucking lost my shit.
“Should I drive V’s car?” Uhhhhh YES.
“But you’re gonna have to drive thru the night for hours. I’m kind of worried.” Bitch, I’m from Texas. I got this. 8 hours is a SHORT TRIP.
The disrespect. They aren’t going to let me drive. I don’t need a man to drive me.
DID VANDERWOOD JUST? OMG DID HE? DID HE JUST SHOOT SAEYOUNG?! BITCH, I LOVED YOU????? & YOU DID THIS????
Omg my heart. Why do they play with my emotions like this. Whew. WHEWWW.
VANDERWOOD CG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Saeyoung is getting a lot of love tonight from his two new dads- Jumin & Vanderwood. Soft love & tough love. Shouting love at you with a gun in your face is new though.
YES! LET’S LOOK FOR A BODY! I STILL HAVE A SHRED OF HOPE RAY IS ALIVE. C’MON CHERITZ, PLEASE.
“Would you mind giving me some spotlight now?” Please let this be foreshadowing. I would eat UP a Vanderwood route.
Is another agency trying to kidnap Saeyoung? I am confusion? His dad?
Still on the “FORGIVE” path. Yoosung’s VA has a cute voice. I liiiiike.
Episode 4
My Yoosung is so sad. This boy has a lot of hate built up in him. First for V, now for Rika &&& V. Goodness.
She? Who the hell is Rika talking about? She who?!
Seems like everyone is concerned that MC will pity or listen to Rika too much. Hmm. Hmm hmmm…
Jumin is getting shit DONE.
2 years flashback. ????
Mika?! Who the fuck? Is this the “she” Rika was talking about earlier?
What he hell kinda narrative? Who is this woman? Supposedly some other girl from the orphanage Rika was a part of. She’s introduced & being used as the device that implanted this idea into Rika’s brain that she had “a devil” inside of her? She’s the reason Rika broke it off with V? Why? This feel like it cheapens everything. & why the hell is she calling Rika “Mina”? Is that Rika’s real name & I just forgot?!
IS RIKA LYING? WHY DID SHE WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL SAEYOUNG ABOUT THIS “STURDY ROOM”? COULD SAERAN REALLY BE ALIVE? Or is she trying to trick Saeyoung into leaving the cabin?!
Ok so the twins’ father has to be in on this somehow. He’s probably the one trying to get Saeyoung, I get that much. Omg... what if the reason they didn’t find proof of Saeran being dead is because his dad snatched up the remains?! Or kidnapped him alive? Or or or
Still on the “FORGIVE” path. This is hard. I want to be mean. 😈
Episode 5
I don’t know why I go into this game thinking I will just get to kiss the pretty boy. Or any boy.
Ok so more hints dropped their dad is probably involved.
“I am waiting for a letter.” GIRL, FUCK V’S LETTER. HE IS NOT HERE. SHIT IS GOING DOWN. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. IF HE WANTS TO BE OFF SMELLING FLOWERS, LET HIM. I AM TIRED.
I hope hope hope they find Saeran. Please please PLEASE.
I FORGOT. IF RAY IS ALIVE HE IS GOING THROUGH DETOX ALONE BURIED UNDER RUBBLE & ASH. I AM LIVID! WHAAAAT! SAVE. HIM.
Zen’s “WOOOOW” made me laugh.
These new CGs are a delight. I like seeing the mix of characters in them, too. Zen’s hand is huge. ::eyes emoji:: 
Maaan, Yoosung really flipped emotional spectrums so fast about Rika. The boy is certainly driven by his emotions.
These philosophical type chats always blow me away. This game really does get you thinking about social constructs. Fun & educating. Huh.
Getting these dirty boys to wash their hands before eating.
SAERAN MADE IT OUT?!
THAT IS SAERAN’S COUGH. OMG. HE IS ALIVE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SAERAN!!!!
Still on “FORGIVE” path.
Episode 6
Jumin, this is a very roundabout way to tell Saeyoung you care about him & just want to look after him. You long-winded, man. I adore you.
SAEYOUNG HAS MORE VALUE THAN JUST WHAT HIS HACKING ABILITIES CAN BRING TO THE TABLE! LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, SAEYOUNG. THEY CARE FOR YOU!
10 years?! I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Lol. That’s a lengthy commitment for Saeyoung though.
“Why must we give up one thing once we get something else?” Yeah, Cheritz. Why must we give up one boy once we save the other boy?!?! Hmmmm???? Lmaoooo
Saeyoung in a suit & tie!!!!!!! Niiiiiiice.
How in the hell are they gonna wrap up this story?! It’s gonna be a cliffhanger isn’t it?! Omg...
Did these idiots just straight up leave Zen, Yoosung, & MC in a random cabin in the woods FOR DAYS & go back to civilization on their own? How long does it take to return Rika back to proper authorizes?! Goodness.
WHAT?!
WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!?!
V TOOK SAERAN?! WHEN? HOW? WHAT? 
MY JAW JUST POPPED IT DROPPED SO HARD. WHAT THE SHIIIIIT?!?!
Uhhhh lmao uhm why are they dressed like Jedi? Jihyun is giving Obi Wan vibes right now. I’m cackling, when I shouldn’t be. This is supposed to be a serious moment, goddamnit.
I know Jihyun probably thinks he’s doing right by taking care of Saeran but AGAIN WITH THIS DOING IT ON HIS OWN BUSINESS?! Saeyoung is devastated his brother & all the while Jihyun had actually swooped him away for some self-medicated detox tour? Just more & more secrets. I’m tired.
“Let’s wait until detox is done & you don’t wanna murder your brother. So I booked a flight for next week.” A WEEK? HA! YEAH RIGHT! BEST CANCEL THAT.
Oh, he just keeps booking & cancelling flights. Lmao. Ok. I am less judgmental now.
If Saeyoung & Saeran don’t get a reunion.... I will die inside.
Unlocked the “FORGIVE” ending.
Shit that costs 80hg too? I have nearly depleted what I had saved up!
BUT HOLY SHIT Y’ALL. SAERAN IS ALIVE! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
“FORGIVE” Ending
This song is hauntingly beautiful.
Who is this speaking?
Is Rika high right now wtf?!
God is a woman.
I am so over all this sun talk. Let. It. Go.
Weren’t security guards left with them at the cabin?! Did Rika just WALK out?!
Of course she’s going to run away & get away with everything. Mhmm ok.
NOW THEY ARE COMING FOR JUMIN’S COMPANY?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD END WTF. I’LL FIGHT. DON’T COME FOR C&R. I’LL THROW DOWN. JUMIN BETTER NOT LOSE EVERYTHING.
So Rika is gone & for no reason Zen & Yoosung & MC are going to stay in the cabin alone? (& not have a threesome?!?!?!)
Jumin is literally putting his own company on the line to protect Saeyoung. This man is amazing. “We’ll rebuild.” My nipples are hard. Jumin has fully aroused me. I would have taken him right on a conference table.  
Welcome to Rika’s Ted Talk
Well.... I am pleased she stepped up & laid the truth all out there. Took us years to get here, lads, but we did it!
Twin cribs. Hmmm.
2 YEARS LATER?! SO THIS CONNECTS TO THE GOOD END OF JIHYUN’S ROUTE?!
2 years, huh... I would have shacked up with Jumin looooong before now. That man is a whole snack. Selfless, sweet, handsome, has a cat. I’m thirsty.
Jumin’s become an alcoholic?! Great. /s I guess this is meant to show just how drastic things are? That Jumin, our token rational & logical man, is resorting to a dangerous lifestyle as a means of coping? I’m heartbroken.
“Have I kept you waiting for too long.” Yes.
His gift better be bringing Saeran on stage because if he unveils a white puzzle I will lose my fucking mind. It is nearly 4am. I haven’t slept. I just want a smooch.
Omg I think it’s happening.
It’s gonna happen.
OMGGGGG
Please let there be a CG of this
IT HAPPENED!!!!! THEY REUNITED!!!! OMG!!!!!
LONGEST HELL YEAH BOOOOY OF MY LIFE
Pink suit pink suit pink suit PINK SUIT!!!! 💗
Ohhhh... Saeran has burns all over his face & his hand. Is his whole left side burned? My poor boy.
5 years later?!? (Mmmm think about mid30s Jumin Han though 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻)
*gasp* A BABY!
Holy shit, not a baby. A full child.
Awwww Saeyoung & Saeran live together!!
YEEESSSS. GET THIS LITTLE GIRL INTO STEM!!!! 
“When is Uncle Jumin gonna marry.” I marry him every few weeks, little girl. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 when I reread his endings.
“Daddy thinks he will never get married.” I am now sad. I want to marry Jumin.
Jaehee got a promotion. Good for her. It’s what she deserves.
Aw Lucy is cute. Surprised they didn’t give her Jihyun’s hair color.
Their house has a lot of windows. 👀👀👀 Floor to ceiling windows. 👀👀👀 Good for fucking against. 👀👀👀👀
THIS CHILD IS ALREADY LEARNING TO KEEP SECRETS. NOOOOO. BREAK THIS CHAIN!
“Daddy is good with secrets, too.” TRUST ME, LITTLE GIRL. WE KNOW. WE KNOOOW. Y’all the noise I made when I read this line. Scoff wheezing?! Full exasperation.
“But you tell everything to Mommy!” About fucking time, honestly. How long did it take for him to break his secrets habit?
Ohhhhh she’s adopted! That’s why she doesn’t have his hair color. Curious why they didn’t go with the biological child path? I certainly don’t mind adoption. It definitely feels like a sort of tribute to Rika.
Girl already has a crush on Zen. Ha! Giiiirl, same. Jihyun’s reaction was funny.
I wanna ride Zen’s motorcycle & his diiiiiiiii
7 years later & Yoosung is still addicted to LOLOL. Keep it up, Yoosung. Live your best gaming life.
Now she’s plotting murder against her own dad. Goodness. & Yoosung just TOLD her this entire dark plot of the game. Lmaooooo
What happened to Vanderwood? Did he accept working at C&R? How is he? Is he eating? Did he take a vacation away from Saeyoung? I need to know.
Jihyun’s speech to his wife is sweet. Now kiss!
Omg I can’t believe I didn’t get to smooch him at all. What.
What.
100 HOURGLASSES TO RESET?!?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I need to save up all over again for when (if) they drop a Saeran After End
“JUDGE” Ending
No, going back to the place you hate most isn’t a sufficient form of punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. You can’t just punish yourself & call it justice. Thank u, next.
Why the fuck is Rika called Serena now?! How many names does she have?! 
Is Rika really free & just doing her own apology tour?! No trial or hospital involved? I’m????
Yoosung’s dialogue makes it seem like he still wants Rika around. Flip flop. 
I do enjoy that Yoosung is a very emotional character, even if sometimes in the stories I don’t agree with him. He’s always very open & honest with how he feels, even if taken to extremes.
Jaehee’s discussion with Rika was very rational. As expected.
Damn Zen gave her the boot double quick.
Jumin: “You are a minus given a breathing body.” Ohhhhhhh my god. 😮😮😮 & he told her he wants her sent to a lab to have data collected from her. Jumin is ANGRY.
So this discussion with Saeran is meant to be in her own head, yeah?
Ok her discussion with Saeyoung felt real -ish again but then her discussion with Jihyun sounded bizarre & far-fetched again. So has she just been inside her own head this entire time?
What the fuck... is going on.
Wow, let’s toss in some sexual assault via clergymen to spice things up. Alright. /s What the hell is this?
This ending is fucking bonkers
Omg Zen’s robotic reply made me lose my shit. First time I’ve laughed because of this ending.
Poor Vanderwood. He sounded excited to have a line.
Sooo... the ending has just been a mock of how a Rika route would have gone if she had one?
Wait this was all just MC’s dream?! Rika’s dream?
& now Rika is in a coma?!? What? What???!! I’m... tired.
You know what, at least Saeyoung & Saeran are back together. Silver lining. The only silver lining to this madness.
Yoosung got a whole new look again. I’ll admit, for a hot second I thought he had become a cult leader & I was worried.
Sooo... the RFA became some sort of support group for Rika’s victims?????
Jumin doesn’t want to be a part of the meetings because he doesn’t particularly subscribe to their efficiency. Zen just doesn’t want to be involved because he doesn’t want the reminder. Jihyun basically just didn’t show up. So is this to mean the RFA has fallen apart entirely? Rename the group, change your ideals, be more open with each other, & formulate new ways to create charity events/fundraisers. Find a new purpose together! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER.
Ugh. Ugggghhhhhhh.
So, I’ve sat on this for a little under 24 hours. I let it sink in, in hopes that I could make better sense of it. But honestly, I don’t feel like I have. I feel perhaps this after end should have been listed in a separate section like the secret endings. These episodes certainly read more like a secret ending.
Rather than call this “V’s After End” I think it would make more sense to have called this “V’s Route After End” (or even “Rika’s After End”). This ending felt more like a means of giving closure to the route itself, rather than an acknowledgement of Jihyun’s relationship with MC. We were shown Saeran was alive, we were given Saeyoung & Saeran reunited with one another finally, we got answers as to what happened with Rika & how she ended up in Alaska, we found out why Jihyun was really away for two years, we had Saeyoung & Saeran stepping out from the hunting shadow of their father. Questions were answered, resolutions of sorts were given.
When I think of “after end” I’ll admit, I assumed we would be given a short snippet of story revolving primarily around Jihyun & MC post-good end, like we had for the other characters; not this dramatic saga between the end of the route & before Jihyun returns two years later. 
Jihyun’s route revolved around him understanding his relationship with Rika & then distancing himself from that & trying to find himself. His route felt like it had more Jihyun x Rika content than it did Jihyun x MC content. This After End there was hardly any Jihyun x MC content as he was gone essentially the entire time. He really Noped Out of his own After End; I’m still a bit shocked I paid so many hourglasses for V content.... only to not be given V content. I admit, I feel foolish & cheated, somehow. I went in hoping for more content about a character I was interested in, only to be given this dramatic story revolving around a character I don’t particularly care for.
I’m disappointed that there is a Forgive or Judge aspect to this ending. 
In the Forgive path/end, the blame of Rika’s crimes & actions is pinned on Rika’s mental illness, choice individuals swaying her into taking particular actions ( “embrace your devil” ), and various circumstances she’s had to endure & live through. By introducing this new character (Mika?), are we meant to blame her instead of Rika? Is she a scapegoat since the idea was originally hers & not Rika’s, even though Rika was the one that enacted everything? On top of this, Yoosung is shown to be reading a psychology book & also comes to the conclusion that what Rika has done isn’t really her fault, but the fault of her circumstances. All of this feels like we were being ushered into forgiving Rika and feeling guilty if we don’t. Provided you do choose to forgive Rika, she finds her own inner happiness, becomes “her own sun”, and goes off to live her life in Alaska; no consequences aside from distance (physical & emotionally) from her once friends/family & developing a negative public appeal. This forgive path directly ties in with Jihyun’s good end, implying it’s the better (intended?) ending. That doesn’t sit well with me. MC shouldn’t have to forgive their captor & tormentor in order to achieve their own “good” end. 
In the Judge path/end, the other characters often show hesitancy when MC expresses she will never be able to forgive Rika. There are philosophical chats about what is actually good vs bad, what is just, & who is to decide these sort of standards. We are led to question if holding on to a grudge hurts ourselves or the other party more. And in the end, when we choose to judge Rika, the RFA falls apart; everyone is miserable. Again, the reader is left feeling as if their judgement was too harsh, too cruel, or uncalled for as the consequences of it have seeped out & negatively touched other people. Rika falls into a coma – doesn’t go off to live her life in Alaska, doesn’t find her own inner peace – & this is all because she was blamed or shunned for her actions, as opposed to being forgiven. Why does everyone’s happiness depend on MC forgiving her captor?  It all left a sour taste in my mouth.
I understand the discussion of what is truly good vs bad or what is meant to be just & unjust can go fairly deep, but I feel that discussion applies only to circumstances that are in a grey area. What Rika did (attempted murder, abuse, emotional & physical manipulation, drugging/brainwashing) is clear cut wrong. There is no question that these are bad decisions. It should not be up for debate whether these sorts of actions are “good or bad.” While I do not deny that Rika’s past (whatever it fully may be as I have not read her backstory DLC) has attributed to her behaviors, it does not excuse them. I believe that mental illness does not excuse someone’s actions.
These are two very extreme endings - either Rika gets off free from her actions or she becomes comatose & succumbs to a darkness. Why have these drastic differences when you can merge the two; have Rika go through treatment to help her, serve a punishment that is fitting of her crimes, help her grow & understand, then have forgiveness come later? There were several options within gameplay along the lines of “I hope one day I can forgive her” & “I hope she finds her peace.” I see nothing wrong with not having MC forgive Rika but still wish for progress to be made.
Everyone was happier in the end where you forgave Rika, though. And isn’t that what everyone wanted in the end?
Overall, I didn’t mind Yoosung & Zen portraying the voices that provide the philosophical discussions in the routes and this After End. In fact, I enjoyed the chats with them as I tend to find philosophical discussions thought provoking, even if I do not always agree with what these characters were expressing. While MM is marketed as a visual novel romance, it has never shied away from delving into deeper topics & oftentimes tries to provide a lesson. Perhaps this time, the lesson they hoped to get across, didn’t hit the mark with me.
Yoosung’s emotions were very extreme in this After End. I have come to expect Yoosung being very up front, unapologetic, & pushy with his feelings. In a game where so many characters are often keeping secrets, it’s almost refreshing to have a character that is so viscerally open. Personally, I found it interesting that Yoosung’s feeling towards Rika had flipped so drastically. It was almost as if he was now trying to overcompensate for his previous idolization of her. 
I’m still of the opinion that the world does not deserve Jumin Han. Through his own pain & suffering, through dealing with the disappearance of his dearest friend, through having to come to terms with the fact that a woman he once considered a close friend turned out to be someone so villainous, he has stepped up & even at one point risked his own company, reputation, & livelihood to protect someone he now considered family. He used his time & resources to help as much as he could. He sat & genuinely listened to Saeyoung & calmly gave input despite Saeyoung verbally lashing out at him. I’ll admit I hated that Jumin seemingly became an alcoholic, or at least heavily dependent on wine, during the stretch of time these After Ends covered. He was suffering, but because he needed to keep his shit together, he used liquor as his means of turning off his brain so he wouldn’t think too heavily about what was happening, otherwise he’d spiral. You can bet your ass that every time there was an option to choose “How is Jumin doing?” I took it, because this man needs someone to look out for him while he’s busy looking after everyone else. I love him. He remains my favorite. 
I am thrilled Saeran is alive. I am ecstatic Saeyoung & Saeran got the reunion I had been hoping for (& in both endings!). The doctor part of me really wishes his treatment & recovery occurred in a hospital, instead of some nature tour with Jihyun while wearing Jedi robes, but beggars can’t be choosers in fiction, I suppose. I am glad Saeran is safe, recovering, had the time to heal his relationship with Jihyun, & is living with Saeyoung now. It’s what I wanted for him.
On one hand, I can see why Jihyun kept Saeran being alive a secret (Saeran wasn’t ready to see Saeyoung yet, he was detoxing, he needed more recovery time, he needed the peace away from everything, if Saeyoung knew he would have gone after them immediately rather than wait for some time to pass) but on the other hand, I had had enough of the secrets. I am glad though that the story allowed for Saeyoung to have some hope that Saeran was alive. If the narrative had left no suggestion of hope & Saeyoung had fallen into a depression of sorts, then I feel when Saeran was finally revealed he [Saeyoung] may have not handled it as well. But Saeyoung was given a chance to hope, to grow, to finally relax/settle where he was, & was allowed time himself to recover from everything that happened, which I think helped in how he received Saeran’s reappearance.
Definitive proof that Vanderwood has grown to care about Saeyoung as a person?! Sign me the fuck up. That was amazing. I greatly enjoy Vanderwood.
With Saeyoung, I did enjoy seeing his range of emotion & reactions to this entire ordeal. He was desvasted, broken, distraught, angry. My heart went out to him & I felt his pain. His monologues were great. His reactions felt real. It was a bit jarring to see how readily he was contemplating suicide & how quickly he cast that aside as soon as some other bit of info to cling to came along. I understand, though, that this story took place in a short amount of time & the creators were trying to portray his progression in the time they had. I am tickled that he was offered a 10 year contract with C&R & that he readily accepted. I have enjoyed seeing him begin to accept that he can plant roots somewhere, open up to those around him, & not fear that he’ll one day have to leave.
I was originally miffed that Jihyun went off for two years on his own, seemingly to get over Rika, making MC wait around, before he could commit himself to MC. Knowing now that those two years were actually spent helping to rehabilitate Saeran in seclusion, I am assuaged. A bit.
I am, however, left feeling as though maybe MC isn’t meant to be with Jihyun. I’ve certainly felt as if there is more push to have Jihyun x Rika remain together as Cheritz still doesn’t give, what I would consider, adequate bonding & development between Jihyun x MC (not that 11 days of story in any of the routes could be described as adequate bonding time, lolol). Majority of Jihyun’s scenes (in his route) are about him reminiscing about his past with Rika, rather than discussions that may cultivation a budding relationship with MC. I like Jihyun, but it feels likes it’s been made intentionally hard to romance him. Maybe it was naive of me to hope we would get cute scenes of Jihyun & MC getting to know one another more, or be shown ways Jihyun made it up to MC for being gone for so long, or even a mini date story, or actually seeing the proposal happen, or even a kiss? But I did hope for all of that, so I can’t pretend I’m not sad we didn’t getting to see it. The romance between Jihyun & MC feels brushed aside, like an afterthought, & I was hoping that this After End would finally put it at the forefront of the story told.
While I don’t like how the situation with Rika was handled in either route, & while this After End was not at all what I was expecting (I just wanted to kiss Jihyun, omg), it wasn’t a total loss for me since the twins are reunited & happy, which I think may have been my biggest wish. The voice acting as phenomenal & I can tell how much time & effort Cheritz put into creating this mammoth, complex & thought-provoking story. I’ll be honest & admit that I am upset I spent so many hourglasses for content that seemed packaged as Jihyun content but turned out to be more about Rika, but nothing can be done about that now. 
If I had to pick an ending I preferred, it would definitely be the Forgive End, as there is more happiness for everyone I care about when it concludes. It was nice seeing Jihyun & MC have their little family, even if it was a very brief interaction. Their adoption of a little girl feels like a nod to Rika, of sorts. Perhaps that isn’t what Cheritz intended, & maybe there is no hidden meaning to why they adopted at all, but I am happy to see Jihyun & MC having brought a child into their home to create a family with.
The CGs are beautiful. Is there even a way to unlock the title page Jihyun proposal CG? I didn’t get it in my play-through at all. 
I didn’t hate this After End, but I definitely didn’t love it either. I guess it kind of falls in a strange floaty grey middle area for me, somewhat flat. Hopefully many of y’all enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing what they may give us for Saeran’s After End. I have a feeling that may be a wild story too.
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head-and-heart · 7 years
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Kate’s Hiatus Bellarke Playlist - Song 17
So I REALLY need to start getting through my playlist so I’m starting this up again. We’re onto Song 17 and I’ve barely made a dent in my list because it just keeps growing.
To learn more about this series, visit this page here. 
“Moondust” by Jaymes Young
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I’ve had this song for a very long time, but it wasn’t until I read the Season 4 finale spoilers that I connected it to Bellarke. Basically, it’s the whole space theme that really gets me. And some various lyrics (which I will go over) that SCREAM Bellarke to me. 
I’ve also included the stripped version below if you’re more of an accoustic kinda person, but personally I like the regular version better.
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I'm building this house on the moon Like a lost astronaut Lookin' at you like a star From a place the world forgot
These lyrics remind me so much of Bellamy at the end of 4x13 looking down at the burning Earth and thinking of Clarke. He’s building a new home (”house”) up in space (”on the moon”) but he feels lost, because he doesn’t have her with him. I also really like the line “from a place the world forgot” because it’s true: the world did forget about the Ark. Up until Praimfaya, people thought that the Ark would never be anywhere in their future ever again ... and yet. Here they are.
I also like that line for another reason, because it is extremely reminiscent of another lyric from a song, “Waves” by Dean Lewis, that is ALSO on my playlist (and you can read up on it here). 
The lyrics are like this:
(It comes and goes in waves And carries us away Through the wind Down to the place we used to lay when we were kids Memories, of a stolen place Caught in the silence An echo lost in space)
Sounds kind of like the Ark, yeah? An echo lost in space, a place the world forgot ... Kind of similar. Anyway, I’ll continue on with the song.
And there's nothing that I can do Except bury my love for you
The brightness of the sun will give me just enough To bury my love in the moon dust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love in the moon dust
This lyric just breaks my heart because one of the last things Clarke said to Bellamy was that he has a big heart and he needs to use his head more (obviously paraphrasing). And I just can’t shake the feeling that when we see Bellamy again, he’s going to have compartmentalized a lot of his emotions in a similar way to Clarke back in 2B and 3A. The idea of Bellamy trying to “bury” his love for Clarke up in space because grieving it hurts too much just makes me want to fling myself right into the sun.
Nothing can breathe in the space Colder than the darkest sea I have dreams about the days driving through your sunset breeze But the first thing that I will do Is bury my love for you
THIS KIIIIIILLLLLSSSSSS my Blorke feels, honestly. “I have dreams about hte days driving through your sunset breeze”, immediately brings to mind the rover. But also how Bellamy really saw Clarke as his life, his safe space (”sunset breeze”). And now she’s gone, so all he can do is try to move on and “bury his love”.
She’s just gone.
I'm a cast away, and men reap what they sow And I say what I know to be true Yeah, I'm living far away on the face of the moon I've buried my love to give the world to you I've buried my love in the moon dust
More of the same. Basically I’m very emo and this song is Bellarke af so now you can all cry with me about it. 
Enjoy your suffering.
we’re only halfway through the hiatus lmaoooo
Tagging: @zoemonroe @corazonconaugeritos @forevernlv @mw2noobbuster @parapluiepliant @shellseehowspecialyouare
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miserelysia · 7 years
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So I watched the Netflix Death Note adaptation...
And I did a liveblog because that’s how I cope with bad adaptations of things I love. It’s pretty long but so was the movie. Also swearing.
HERE WE GO~
- Setting: Seattle. I'd say you already failed, Netflix, but I was prepared for this. And alright, so we have a re-imagining of Deathnote. - Our hero creepily hangs out right behind cheerleader practice and does homework, awesome - also he a nerd who does other people's homework and judges them - cool - chick who smokes and gives him eyes is Mia - and Light doesn't know how to smile - well it really does seem like Ryuk CHOSE him in this version instead of just randomly throwing his Death Note down to earth - why are we all afraid of rain we're in SEATTLE - super awkward, tortured troubled nerdy white boy, gotcha - ...light are you not reading the other rules. that's kind of important. THERE ARE RULES FOR A REASON. - oh shit it's time for willem dafoe's big debue - HI FRIENDDDD - LMAO LIGHT'S SCREAM - I MEAN, RELATABLE BUT - RIDICULOUS - why didn't they just name him Larry ffs "Light" just sounds weird for an American kid - I'm gonna call him Larry - okay let's jump right to DECAPITATION LOL DAMN SON - DAAAMMMMNNNN SON - THAT IS NOT THE KIND OF HORROR I WAS LOOKING FOR IN THIS MOVIE - OMG LARRY U KILLED KENNY - way to trash the classroom Ryuk - what happened to my friendly bored shinigami - he got Americanized(TM) - LARRY YOU GOTTA READ THE WHOLE TERMS & CONDITIONS ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS FFS BOY - i mean granted we don't have the whole terms & conditions because they weren't all written out in the manga - or were they?  i never read them - bUT THEN I WASN'T THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO FUCKING DECAPITATE PEOPLE BY WRITING THEIR NAME DOWN - thank you Ryuk for giving the correct pronunciation of your name - so either Ryuk is lying about the rules of the Death Note, saying it HAS to belong to a human, orrrrrr this is another Adaptation Thing - okay well Larry definitely isn't any Light Yagami but his character is.... pretty realistic for a Troubled White Boy(TM) - just wondering how the heck Larry is gonna be smart enough to avoid detection - also is he going to take a chip and eat it - lol damn how'd you know Antony was at a dinner party, Larry? - AWWWWWW HIS DAD LOVES HIM YAY - okay Ryuk's design is..... okay - LARRY WHY R U BRINGIN IT TO SCHOOL - AND WHY ARE YOU SITTING IN THE BLEACHERS DURING GYM??? - or are you creeping on cheerleaders again boy wtf - "you saw a guy decapitated? damn that's hot" mia what's wrong with u - LMAO YEAH SURE SHOW HER THE DEATH NOTE????? - OKAY - ugggghhhh come on, anyone who TOUCHES the death note can see Ryuk not just the keeper. why change that rule???? you could have so many more amazing "HOLY SHIT AN 8 FOOT TALL DEMON?!?!?!??" scenes - "i have a death god" well i'm glad they're not trying to make everyone say "shinigami" the whole time - "you of all people want to see this" HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT CAN YOU TELL SHE'S A SOCIOPA--okay granted, she did talk about wanting to see Kenny's decapitation - "you snot-nosed little douchebag" that is.... such a tame insult for a guy who's holding a gun to a lady??? - um why was that rogue SWAT truck just driving through at top speed you can't control other people i thought??? - also why did he just fuckin EXPLODE when it hit him like a damn garbage bag damn Netflix - holy shit Mia what's your damage why are you so hype about this - lmaoooo nerdy virgin boyyyyy - no longer a virgin boyyyy - having weird sociopathic sexytimes with his weird sociopathic girlfriendddd - white boy saviour complex is go - AYYYY GOD COMPLEX IS GO - time to get busyyyyyyy KILLING PEOPLE - um did you really target EVERYONE IN A NIGHTCLUB WTF BOI SOME OF THEM WEREN'T EVIL - or are they just saying someone shot up the whole place BUT YOUR VICTIM'S ACTIONS CAN'T RESULT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S DEATH I THOUGHT??? - i do like that L is a black man - why is Watari kinda creepy - AWWWWW GOOD THEY KEPT THE CANDY OBSESSION - "you'd kill him? you'd kill him for me???" omg mia seriously WHAT IS UR DAMAGE - my precious boy L and his rainbow candies - this is all i wanted. quirky L dealing with the police - HE'S PRECIOUSSS - OOOOOHHHHHH BURNNNNNNN"CHILD WEILDING POWER HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND" - "now i'm rooting for this guy" THANK YOU RYUK, ME TOO - i'm in love i love L I'm rooting for him too - u gonna kill ur dad larry? - "i think you can tell when you're sitting across froma killer like kira" he says to his CLEARLY SOCIOPATHIC SON - mia U HAVE ISSUES WHYYYYYYYYY - r u serious - relationship issues now too - da fuq - how is mia EVEN WORSE OF A PERSON THAN LARRY - HOLY SHIT GIRL - THE ENTIRE DAMN TEAAAMMMMMM - omg larry it was MIA not ryuk - seriously are you serious are you saying it's ryuk are u FUCKING SHITTING ME NO - "just making sure you hadn't died" lmao thanks L for ur concern - "light turner is kira" okay then L, i mean i guess we had to make the conflict go fast but okay - "i don't do check, only checkmate" nice - "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MEEEEE" lmao larry you aren't light - "you're the one who flew into the sun, I'm just here to make sure you actually burn" I LOVE U, L - U NEED HIS FULL FUCKING NAME NOT JUST WATARI. FUCK YOU DID THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THIS NOT READ THE DAMN MANGA - I'M SO ANGRY THIS IS SO POINTLESS - L IS SO SAD -MY BOY - BBY - HIS FRIEND IS GONE - lmao this got overdramatic real friggin fast - r u serious MIA IS A MUCH BETTER LIGHT THAN LARRY IS - LIKE THE ORPHANAGE WOULD JUST LEAVE THEIR INFO LYING AROUND???? - AND WHY HAS L NOT REALIZED WHERE LARRY WOULD SENT WATARI IT'S SO OBVIOUS - DA FUQ IS WRONG WITH THESE CHARACTERS - why is there cell reception in that place - why did that guy kill him THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS??? - WHY DID KNOWING WATARI'S FUCKIN NOT EVEN REAL NAME WORK - AND IT WAS POINTLESS - POINTLESS LOW QUALITY BADLY RESEARCHED WRITING - Larry u fuckin idiot you don't deserve to be Light and I need the plot twist to be that the death note was actually mia's all along - "you don't get to feel superior for being a pussy" omg mia - hot damn she killed everyone - HOLY SHIT SHE GONNA KILL HIMMMMMMM - HOLY SHIT - MIA - HOLY SHIT - HOLY SHIT - "now go get my goddamn book" HOLY SHIT - I LOVE THISSSSSSS IT'S WHAT I WANTED ALL ALONG - BADASS GIRL IS A BETTER LIGHT THAN LARRY FOR REAL - L MY PRECIOUS BABY I'M SORRY - ummmmmmm larry you could just burn the page urself u know??? - car chase & foot chase nice added unnecessary drama - Y U HIT L IN THE HEAD RANDOM MAN THAT'S NOT NICE - "NOW GIVE ME MY FUCKING BOOK OKAY" HOLY SHIT MIA - LMAO HE PUT HER NAME IN - LMAO TAKIN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKIN FERRIS WHEEL - "I TAKE IT BACK" LMAO LARRY U CAN'T - RYUK WHAT THE FUQ - LMAO AND HIS HEART IS GONNA STOP AT MIDNIGHT WHILE HE'S HOLDING HER RIGHT - SUCKS FOR YOU MIA - oh oop no she falls instead - SHE REALLY LIKED THAT BOOK I GUESS??? - BYE KIDS - oh nice image with the flowers exploding - "innocence destroyed~" or w/e guys please she was already a crazy sociopathic monster - R U SERIOUS THE ONE PAGE - THE ONE PAGE WITH HIS NAME - FALLS PERFECTLY INTO THE FLAMES - FOR REAL - WHO IS MYSTERIOUS MAN????? - great yeah just put the death note on his chest and then the nurse can find it - why'd he magically wake up from a coma - why is no one responding to his increased vitals - YEAH U KILLED UR GIRLFRIEND WAY TO GO - i mean she sorta killed herself but - oh wait nope he actually killed her - wow - so that last bit of plotting almost earned you the right to be called Light, Larry - but not quite - anD WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF ENDING IS THAT??!?!?! - I HATE OPEN ENDINGS - LARRY IS ABOUT TO DIE RIGHT - I DECIDED IT. LARRY DIES. - EXCEPT THAT MAKES L A KILLER - BUT L'S CHARACTER HAS ALREADY CHANGED DRASTICALLY SO... - YEAH, LARRY DIES - i mean the other option is that his dad's like "wtf" and locks him up forever - but then American Ryuk just gives the Death Note to someone else and now that Kira is a thing they'll think it's up to them or something??? - who knows - whatever - i'm done with this weird ass convoluted mess. - well the beginning of the credits was cute at least, with the bloopers and the fun times
Okay this wasn't a complete waste of time but they absolutely lost me as an adaptation at the point where Larry was able to control Watari wITHOUT KNOWING HIS FULL DAMN NAME I MEAN COME ON THAT'S WHY HE'S CALLED WATARI. Also constantly screaming "THERE ARE SO MANY RULES" like hey maybe you should take the time to read them Larry wtf is wrong with you. L losing it was interesting but man I miss the calm, 5-steps-ahead-of-each-other cat and mouse of the actual Death Note. I think I'm gonna go watch that now.
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