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careless-with-your-heart · 2 years

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The Air She Feeds Me Is Damned - Chapter 5 (a Barry/HBO AU Fanfic)

It's been three years since Barry bolted, leaving LA after the breakup, disappearing before Moss started asking questions. Now, he's living on the East Coast, under a new name, working a string of shitty, under-the-radar jobs. Oh, he's still quietly falling apart, but at least his hands are clean. Barry Berkman's perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch, until he witnesses a murder - and he can't stop fantasizing about the woman who committed it.

If you haven't been here from the jump (and you wanna), the story starts here at AO3: Clickity Click Click

Otherwise, so-far readers, read on.

Chapter 5

He’s in her car when he passes out. Well, he isn’t quite sure it’s her car—there’s a stone-silent driver in the front seat of the white compact who is heavyset and bald and wearing sunglasses (at night…Barry sings in his addled head)—but Barry makes it about five minutes after being shoved into the cramped backseat before his adrenaline drops and he starts slurring.

The streets outside his window swim past in a frantic, blurry haze, and he grips the empty passenger’s seat in front of him with his uninjured side, to steady himself.

“Where are we goin?”

His tongue feels thick, and his arm feels as though it’s been set on fire. He smiles stupidly, bitterly, thinking—you sleep in the anthill, Barry. You got the fire ants.

Blood runs from his now-soaked sleeve, down the center of his palm, dripping off of his index and pointer fingers and onto the seat beside him—the empty seat between them. He watches it collect from a single drop, to another, and another, until a small puddle forms. He can’t tear his eyes away from the spreading crimson, touches his finger to the pool every time a new drop trembles at the tip of his fingernail, releasing just a little more of what is left of him. Funny, funny, funny. What is there, really, that’s left of him? Barry watches as his blood spreads in minute degrees across the cheap vinyl, soaking down the fabric front of the upholstery.

She hasn’t answered him, so he swivels his head toward her, swallowing against the dizziness that comes along with the movement. He wishes she hadn’t put the mask back up. He wants to see her here, up close. But she’s covered up, as always, and she’s staring out the window opposite him, her hand on a 9mm that’s holstered at her near hip.

“Ssssorry ’bout your sssseat,” he whispers. Darkness edges his vision as she turns toward him.

“No worries,” she says, as though he is apologizing for spilling soda, and not an alarmingly increasing amount of plasma that would be better kept inside of him. “This car’s seen more blood than just yours.”

He wants to laugh, but the pain in his shoulder is tightening his chest muscles, making it hard to draw even the shallow breaths he’s managing. “Not, um”—he winces—“exactly a mobster’s typical getaway car.”

Her eyes, the only thing that he can see, flash with something like anger, but the muted amber depths cool quickly. Oh, she has more than one mask, he croons in his head.

“Movies ruined the black SUV for bad guys,” she says with a shrug, her lashes fluttering as she drops her gaze to where her bullet had pierced him. She leans over, reaches across the seat and over him, and pulls the seatbelt across his chest, clicking it into place once she’s pulled it down diagonally to where the receptacle peeks from beside his own hip. “It’s a shame. Those things were like apartments on wheels. Now, you drive one, everyone thinks you’re The Family or The Feds.”

Barry stares at the seat belt buckle. “You can get in trouble for impersonating a Fed,” he deadpans.

“The Family was sick of getting mistaken for them,” she quips. “Plus, do you know the gas mileage on those giant motherfuckers? Astronomical. Costs a fucking fortune to park them, if you can find a decent spot in the city. The whole thing was a logistical nightmare. My father’s solution was this.” She waves a gloved hand at the compact.

Barry’s breath is getting quicker, shallower. His angel leans over again, whispers conspiratorially. “But, you see, he doesn’t exactly know that I borrow the cars. These little run-ins we’ve had are just because you have an uncanny way of being around for my extracurriculars.”

Her hand is flat on the seat, an inch from the puddle of his blood. As the seat cushion dips, the new incline makes a tiny rivulet of red run down, kissing the tip of her gloved ring finger. Barry’s mouth runs dry—but that could be the blood loss.

“Princess,” Barry says, realization dawning. “Not an angel. You’re a princess.”

He wishes he could see her smile, but all he gets is the suggestion of it in her eyes. “You could say,” she agrees. “And I’m taking you back to my tower. Dig that lead out of you. Talk about how you can be useful, since you’re too stubborn to keep to ground. Sound good?”

Three more lines of red streak down the vinyl to wet her fingers. Barry inches his own hand closer to hers, heedless of the blood, aching to lace his fingers with hers.

The compact hits a particularly egregious pothole. Barry snaps forward, and the seatbelt locks, catching him.

Pain lances through his shoulder like wildfire, and the same seatbelt keeps him from slumping sideways as the blackness that has been threatening makes good, and Barry succumbs.

#barry #hbo barry #barry hbo #barry berkman #bill hader #fanfiction #fanfic #in this au i will demonstrate...#everyone needs therapy #and a good night's sleep #and some therapy #did I say therapy? yes.#badass oc #barry is back in deep shit #kinda toxic oc x barry but I like it #everyone is damaged but the broken pieces fit together ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo

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fumikomiyasaki · 2 years

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Just curiousity... is there some of your own ocs who you ship with each other?

I actually do have some but there is not a big amount of them... I can also mention some Exes here:

Exes:

Belia and Pierino (He is the Father of Bethany after all)

Belia and Erwin (They are still friends but he helped her take care of Belia)

Rachel and Tyler (Rachel still loves him)

Sindren and Barry (Barry cheated)

Osyron and Lydia (Divorced)

Crushes:

Aiden-> Kayne

Mythra-> Henry

Barry-> Mythra

Francine-> Flynn (Not anymore thought)

Eikichi-> Zyan

Inessa-> Dragiselle (Not requited)

Tiam-> Gregory (He likes him too kinda)

Quora-> Kayne

Yasuno -> Carol (She has no interest)

Marcell-> Seraphim (He moved schools cause of this)

Have had something before but shortly:

Marcell and Mason Violet (Most that Leroys dad kidnapped him and it was more toxic)

Eikichi and Paula (They don't talk about it but are friendly)

Vanessa and Henry (Lets say it was a wild night)

Can be a ship if I wanted to:

Flynn x Nanoya x Rubina

Emma x Aiden

Peko x Eve

Gregory x Tiam x Taron

Marcell x Kaden

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Could be more but I leave it be for now...Me after writing this... why don’t I have good exes... okay I have with other peoples ocs but still...

#twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ocs #twst #disney twst #twistedwonderland #twistedwonderlandoc #twst ocs

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girlmeetsliv3 · 4 years

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Q & A

The 2K follower special is here. Thank you to everyone that submitted a question. The transcript is below for those of you who would rather read. Hope you enjoy ♡ ♡ ♡

I do apologize in advance as my mic picked up on every little sound. Such as me rubbing my arm soothingly and my accidentally hitting my ankles against my chair. Also, sorry for the long pauses this was the third take and it was the best one.

youtube

Hi everyone, this is Cloud. I’m doing this Q & A special as a thank you for getting me to two thousand followers which I really appreciate. It’s twenty questions long, I don’t think it’s going to take a long time. I do apologize in advance if I’m a bit awkward, I’m alone in my room talking to a mic. So, I do apologize in advance.

1) Where are you from?

I’m from South Florida, but my family and I are Latinos.

2) What made you decide to write specifically yandere? And would you ever post a nonstandard story on the blog?

So, what got me into yandere or what really opened me up to writing it was the fact that when I was twelve or thirteen I was really into wattpad stories. A couple years ago, when I revisited them I realized that a lot of them painted these abusive relationships in a positive light or just romanticized them a lot. Which is terrible, because when I read that I grew up thinking that’s how relationships were supposed to be. That your partner is supposed to be possessive, kind of controlling, and a bit handsy sometimes. Which is obviously very wrong.

What I like about yandere, what got me into writing it, was the fact that I could portray these relationships that had been romanticized when I was younger - that the media often romanticizes - that it’s not healthy. It’s not good. Specifically, people who are inexperienced the way I was. I think you can hear about all these red flags and different things, but if you’ve never been in a relationship and you don’t really know what a red flag looks like I think it’s important to know those signs. I think that’s why I write my stories.

On whether I would ever post a nonstandard on the blog, I have wanted to write other stories but I don’t think I’ll do it on this blog. Just because this blog is so centered on being a yandere blog and my followers/readers sort of come to my blog expecting something. So, I would probably open a second blog and just write other stories on that.

3) Who is your bias?

I like to think I’m OT7 bias. I love all seven of the members and support them, however, the people who first caught my attention from BTS were Tae and Yoongi.

4) How long have you been writing?

So I’m twenty now, I would say I’ve been writing for over ten years now. I actually got in trouble a lot back when I was in elementary school and middle school because instead of paying attention I would just write little short stories or chaptered stories, that just really made no sense, during class. I would just write it on scraps of paper instead of actually taking notes.

5) What got you into writing?

I think like a lot of people I was really into books. I loved books so much. I want to get back into them, but I think a lot of people can relate when I say I’d rather read a 100k story than open up a book. What got me into writing was definitely reading, I read so much. I carried a book with me everywhere. I read so much that my parents told me I had to stop reading - that’s the level I was at. (insert awkward laugh) What got me into reading though was this little, not really popular, book called Twilight. I was eight when I saw the movie and then I got the book for my birthday. I just fell down a rabbit hole after that of just reading.

6) Your favorite fic so far?

That I’ve written would definitely be Datura. I just love it so much, it holds such a special place in my heart - all those characters.

7) What’s your favorite non-yandere fic?

I have several, I even have a blog called @girlmeetsfics (shameless plug) dedicated to all the stories that I find. Cause I have my likes locked. But, right now my top three are: @rkivenamu, I’m sorry if I mispronounce these usernames, Let’s Be Bad Guys. I’m a slut for OT7 in space, I just am. That story is so phenomenal. So well written. The characters are so interesting. The stakes are so well written. I think it’s difficult to get action done well in books, you can get tension, but when it comes to action scenes its difficult to elaborate on them, but she does it so well and you really feel that the character’s lives are in danger and that anything could happen at any second. I’m actually such a fan of that story and love it so much that I followed her or them and I put on the post notifications to be notified for when she would update again.

In second place, I have @btssavedmylifeblr Void. If you haven’t read that - you’re missing out. It’s amazing. It’s phenomenal. I love the character’s so much. Again, I’m a sucker for space stories, I just love sci-fi.

And then recently @gukslut Rattled is such a beautiful and heartbreaking tale. It’s so human. I’ve never read such human characters before, they are just so real and raw and I just love it. So, I would definitely recommend checking it out.

8) Is there any style of writing that you try to emulate?

Some of my favorite authors are those turn of the century authors: J.M. Barrie, Lewis Carrol, etc. I really love those stories. If you’ve ever read some of those authors - Edgar Allan Poe and some of Lovecraft - they are third-person point of view, but its this weird blend between you being a person in the story and the story being told to you.

9) Name a trope you hate.

I don’t really hate anything. What I don’t like to maybe read or write is a boring protagonist. I don’t like a character that is so blank slate that they just have no personality. Or nothing to do and they’re just there to be pushed around. They’re a really passive protagonist and don’t get me wrong, you can definitely do a passive protagonist right. I just really don’t like protagonists that are a blank slate, that you have to force yourself to give them a personality. That there’s no personality given to them by the author.

I do understand that the stories I write, and the most popular stories are, self-insert or member x reader but I think you can manage to get away with still having some characterization there.

10) What is a dynamic you always include in your stories?

Something I like to highlight a lot is codependency. From my personal experience, a lot of the toxic relationships that I’ve been in - even though they haven’t been romantic, mainly platonic - suffer from codependency or it’s definitely one of the dynamics that play a significant role. So, its something I always like to highlight in these relationships. With co-dependency, it might not always seem bad to be entirely reliant on someone, especially if your self-esteem isn’t that high (self-esteem as defined by Adler & Stewart), but it can really quickly turn toxic in the hands of the wrong person or even in the hands of the right person.

11) If you had to pick to be the OC of one of your stories who would you be?

This is going to sound weird and kinda masochistic, but I would be interested in being the OC of the Violent Delights story. Even though all the character’s in that story are so beyond intense and given how it ends. Well, the series might not end like that I’m still not sure. But given how the one-shot ends, it’s kinda depressing but that is the OC I would be.

12) Any upcoming fics you’re excited to write about?

I’m excited for Violent Delights. I have something in the works, regarding that story, with a really popular writer on Tumblr. Hopefully, it works out. I really hope it does, but I’m really excited for that story and I hope you guys are too.

13) Would you ever write for other groups that aren’t BTS?

I’m not sure. I really want to write girl groups, I think that’s my main thing. I think the yandere dynamic with women changes a lot. There’s this stereotype that most yandere tend to be girls, because misogyny, and whatnot but I really want to write a girl group. I don’t know which girl group…(thinks about it a little) eh, I kinda do. So yeah, definitely girl groups.

14) If you could do a collab, who are the top 5 writers you’d want to collab with?

The first two are the ones that got me into yandere or at least writing yandere, which are @sweetbunnykook and @chinkbihh. Min, @jooniescupcakes, I’d love to collab with Min. Recently I discovered, (by recently I mean two months ago) @taequois she writes some amazing yandere stories and she isn’t afraid to go there and I love that. I really like dark stories.

15) Are there any discontinued stories you can see yourself coming back to?

I would love to go back to Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso. I’d love to go back to them and rewrite them - completely change them. I wouldn’t delete them perse, especially not Paradiso because that is the first story I ever wrote on the blog, but I think I’d reformat them and make them really long one-shots.

16) What’s your favorite animal?

My favorite animal used to a cheetah. I don’t really have a favorite animal anymore. The only animal that I can say that comes into my mind isn’t even real: it’s because I finished watching Avatar so a flying bison would definitely be my favorite animal. Realistically, maybe a cheetah and my second would be a cat (I really want a cat).

17) Would you ever write a hybrid story?

I would never say no, because I don’t know what the future entails, I’m just uncomfortable with hybrid stories. By that I don’t mean that they make me uncomfortable, I mean that I don’t know enough about them to feel comfortable writing them. There was a while between me saying I was going to write an ABO story and then me actually writing Lilies of the Valley because I had to do a lot of research. Search thinks like tropes because I really wanted to avoid a lot of cliches. I actually read and there are a lot of really good hybrid stories. So, I don’t know if I would ever write it. I am open to it, but I have a lot of works in progress right now.

18) Is there anything that’s a hard limit for you?

Yes, I think I could never write sexual assault. I know a lot of my stories feature dubious consent because of the situation the protagonists are in, but I don’t think I could ever write explicitly sexual assault. So that’s definitely a hard limit for me.

19) When is the next part of pon coming out? Before or after you finish lotv?

The reason pon has taken so long is that I have to catch up from where the second part ended to the end of the one-shot. Part three is essentially the one-shot. Obviously things are going to be different, but from where the story ended to the end of the one-shot which is insane. It’s a lot. Pon only has like five parts, I wanna say, so it’s definitely a lot. I have some of the outline worked out, but it’s a lot.

I can’t say right now if it’s before or after Lilies of the valley. I have most of Lilies of the valley written, I don’t think there is going to be more than ten chapters - maybe twelve at most. I want to say a mid to late June deadline is what I have right now. My plan is to put out prince of nothing part three and then the day after put out Violent Delights. So look forward to that, please.

20) Do you see yourself doing this in the long run?

I wanna say yes, I’ve only been here a year and it feels like such a short amount of time looking back because so much has happened. I never thought I would reach 2k followers. I never even really thought I would reach 1k, to be quite honest. So, I see myself doing this for maybe one more year - I don’t know. With the way things are going on in the world, things are difficult but at least now I have time. Time to write, even though god knows sometimes I just can’t.

I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I really enjoy doing this and it makes me really happy. I feel like I have a safe space on this blog to go to when things get tough in life and I’d really like to thank you all for giving me that. For giving me a platform in which I could express myself and share my stories because for the longest time I thought that no one really wanted to hear them. So, again I’d like to thank you all so much for that.

Okay, so that’s the end. I’m sorry that this was a little long, I will have a transcript (this right now). So again I’d like to thank you all again for 2,000 followers. There is a lot more coming, I have a lot of surprises planned for you guys that I am currently working on. I’m recording this on Friday and plan to upload it on Sunday. Again thank you all, this is Cloud signing out. Kisses. Bye.

#2k followers #Q&A #girlmeetsliv3

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echoquery · 6 years

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☕ the cw ruining the dcu tv shows

(warning: this is very long because dc comics have been a huge part of my life so i had a lot to say)

oh BOY do i have a lot to say about the cw. while i do love when new and interesting twists and turns are added to adaptations of comics and books, there’s a difference between being creative and disrespecting the source material. that is what the cw has done.

*potential arrowverse spoilers ahead*

with arrow, they killed off the second most important character in the green arrow mythos and created ocs that bring nothing new to the table. they altered oliver queen from a dorky, kind of stupid yet gifted archer into a dumpster version of batman (although, batman doesn’t go around killing people because he feels like it). they turned my second favorite superhero into some brooding jerk who abuses women and his family. they completely disrespected the legacy of my favorite superhero of all time, black canary, by killing her off for shock value, taking everything that makes dinah laurel lance and giving it to her oc sister.

i’ve only watched two seasons of the flash and i’m not that invested in the flash as a character so i have no serious criticisms besides the fact that there are a few continuity errors and some storylines are just plain ridiculous

legends of tomorrow is a cute idea and i like some of the stuff i see from it, but it’s hard to look past the whole whitewashing scenario with sara lance/white canary (white canary was originally an asian woman). i dislike that they killed off leonard snart and martin stein, then as a result of stein’s death, wrote off jax. i do like the fact that legends has, from what i’ve seen, relatively good lgbt rep.

supergirl was okay for one season, the first season. of course, once the cw got its hands on kara, she was doomed. she was shoved aside all of season 2 just so some shitty manchild could try to redeem himself while abusing her in the process. they also put floriana lima in brownface, so…

batwoman hasn’t even started and it’s bad. they goywashed kate by having a non-jewish actress portray her (a CHRISTIAN actress with CHRISTIAN tattoos...)

one thing that infuriates me the most was the earth-x crossover. supergirl was turned into a nazi, green arrow was turned into a nazi, jewish characters were shown in concentration camps, it’s just absolutely disgusting. this toxic ass white couple just horned in on iris and barry’s wedding for no reason and were just so disrespectful to the latter couple in general.

i kinda went on a tangent but i just so strongly dislike the arrowverse and how badly they messed up some characters that were such a huge part of my life.

#skakdkaldk im annoying #asks #trbulent #anti errorverse

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