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#kissing ted callahan (and other guys)
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𝕍𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕪𝕓𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕞!𝕊𝕖𝕩 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤
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about: dreamwastaken, sapnap, georgenotfound, karl jacobs, quackity, badboyhalo, callahan
warning(s): swearing, blood mentions
pronouns: you, your
note: I used to play volleyball for a few years and absolutely love it! Sadly I had to quit due to arthritis problems, but I'm exited that this is my first headcanon! :D Kisses! <3
note pt.2: I also have a taglist if you want to be added! Kisses! <3
summary: what you and the sex havers would play/be like on a high school volleyball team
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Let’s talk about our starter's positions
Quackity would most definitely be libero, because… well… you know (shotty)
But he’s slippery and fast so I think that he’d be really good at getting spikes
I feel like he would be some kind of natural in a way
Like he just showed up to practice one day with minimal experience and just keep popping up Dream’s deep and fast spikes
Everyone was so shocked, because he wasn’t even there to practice
He just showed up to drop something off for Sapnap and Dream kept whining that no one wanted to dig his spikes, so he was like “fuck it” and dug every. single. one.
They definitely had to beg him to be on the team, because he was like “why would I do that???” 
Come to think of it, he most likely was going to long before he agreed, because he thought it was funny to watch Dream beg on his knees for him to join
And the only reason he accepted was because he was either bored or out of spite for George
Dream would be middle because man is tall and buff, so blocking and spiking would be no problem to him whatsoever
He’s probably been playing volleyball his whole life, so he’s just been naturally good at it for years
Like, all of his siblings have been star players on a volleyball team at some point and I stand by that
That’s actually how he got into the game
He probably played with his older sister’s team when he was really little because “my big sister plays volleyball so it must be cool! :D” It was adorable
I feel like he was a outside hitter for a while because he was really short and lanky before he hit puberty
But when he shot up, he’d honed his spiking skills to the point where he could put the ball literally wherever he wanted 
Dream would most likely be captain, because of how long he’d been playing, his leadership skills, and the fact that he’s weirdly good at pep talks and speeches
At some point this guy came up to him after overhearing his pre-game pep talk and literally pleaded with him to host a TED-Talk
George just seems like he would be a good setter
I don’t know why
Maybe because he’s so lanky and tall
Dream was probably the one who got him into volleyball when they were young, because he wanted a setter so he could practice spiking and George was like “okay?”
So, setter. Very good. Likes to taunt the other team with Quackity.
He definitely could distract the other team by not-so-subtly flirting with them
It doesn’t even matter if they’re straight, George just has that kind of charm and skill that he could be chatting them up while setting up the ball, distracting the other guy completely, causing George to get and assist or push the ball over
It’d piss off the guy’s other teammates too until they experienced it… they’d understand
Plus, I’m like 98% sure that his school would have a fanpage for him (pretty boy things)
I’m jumping around all the positions and I don’t care
Karl would play opposite
He’s tall and can spike and can set almost as well as George
I also think he’d be really good at tipping the ball
Like he can spike well when he needs too, but he’d be notorious for catching the other team off guard and tipping it right behind their outside hitter
He also seems like the kind of person who the other team would underestimate until the game really got going
He’s a pretty kind and gentle looking person and you wouldn’t always expect that kind of person to be a sneaky bastard
Like, they’d try to spike it in his direction, because they don’t think he’d be able to block or something
Or they try to set it over and his tall ass would just *tip!* right in a blind spot
Sapnap would take Dream’s old position of outside hitter, because he never really shot up like his best friend
Although he does the best in the back row because of his height and how quickly he reacts to tips or short spikes, this man can jump
Like, if he’s in the front row, George will try to set him first, because of how high Sap can jump and how hard he can spike
Sapnap’s been playing as long as Dream, except he got into it because he thought hitting a ball was cool and he liked the sound the volleyball made when it slammed on the ground
He probably practiced Libero before Quackity joined the team, just because of his height and his quick reflexes
Though, he didn’t mind when Q took his spot for the sole purpose that he could finally play front row from time to time
Punz would play the right side hitter
Because of his height and build, Punz would be one hell of a blocker and block the ball almost every single time
Like he’s so good at it it’s funny
But the times that he doesn’t end up blocking it with his hands, he ends up blocking the ball with his face
The funniest part is that he usually sends the ball back to the other side when that happens
If that doesn’t happen, then his face usually pops it up so either George can set it back over or Dream can spike it
Along with having the most blocks out of everyone on the team, he gets the most injuries on the team… hence the face blocking
Like, there would have to be a nurse on stand by just for him, because he gets hurt so often
According to him, “My nerves are so shot in my face, that I can barely feel the bleeding!” He says this while blood trickles out of his nose…
The we have our coaches: BBH and Callahan
They treat the boys like their own family, but get annoyed with them so fast
In their defense, the boys are a pain in the ass and annoying as hell
Bad, is the main coach and is generally very stern but kind and fair in the way he coaches
He never actually played volleyball in high school, but his mom was the coach for a state college team, so he grew up around coaching volleyball and was taught how to play regardless
Most of the teams he’s coached won national championships
Now Callahan is more of an assistant coach, but actually used to be a star player
He’ll play with the boys, usually as a hitter
If they piss him off somehow, he’ll wipe the floor with their asses with him spikes
It’s very funny to witness
And guess what, you are the stand-by nurse! Hooray!
No but like seriously, the amount of times you’ve had to put in a dislocated shoulder or stitch up Punz’s face or even personally buy surplus amounts of braces because your boys can’t seem to not get hurt is ridiculous
The most unusual part is that you’re their age
Your mom was a physical therapist for sports and you had been her assistant since you could walk
The fact that you have so much experience and are good at what you do is the sole reason that the school let a high school senior be a stand-by nurse for the men’s volleyball team
It also helps that your mom is the school’s physical trainer, so it’s not like she’s not there too, it’s just that your job is to your boys while her job is for everyone else
You have known all of the players and coaches for forever
It helps that your mom has worked with the coaches for a while, so they’re family friends and you’re a part of the player’s friend group
You most definitely hold a special place in all the boy’s hearts to the extent that they have all dropped something at some point, because you needed something
And it’s not pretty if someone from the opposing team makes gross comments about you when they’re on the court
There has been many fistfights to say the least
And god help the poor suckers who try to catcall you to your face or say some gross comment to you, because you absolutely wreck them every time
It doesn’t even matter if they’re twice your size, “It’s so much more fun when you know what to break” is one of your favorite lines
So long story short, you don’t get messed with often
Now for how they act on the court… oh god
You know how the starters are a group of pretty boys… yeah
Obviously, there are crowd favorites like Dream (he says he doesn't like to brag, but he’s lying because he loves it) and Quackity (he finds it funny)
But then there are the fan-culture favorites like George, because he’s absolutely beautiful and he knows it
Regardless, all of them are show-y
Some more than others *cough* Sapnap *cough*
Because of that, they like to mess with the other team
It can come in the form of flirting or taunting, but only they know which tactic they’re using exactly
It’s not like they’re not a skilled team, they’re absolutely cracked, it’s the fact that it’s so much more fun to mess with the other team
Or so it has been described to you
They’ve done it for so long and no one really cares that much (everyone does it), so that’s why Bad or Callahan never tell them to stop
BBH is the only one who gets annoyed by it, from our team, based on the fact that it’s not fair, because “you know they can’t affect you, so by saying and doing those vulgar things– it gives you an unfair advantage.”
They always look so proud of themselves after that recurring comment
You find it absolutely hilarious
And the only team that has actually come close to getting under their skin was the SBI, but that’s a story for a different time
But yeah, the whole team is just one massive family and you all protect each other… more or less
You can pick or beat on each other, but no one else can do that or else they’re get seriously beat up or verbally bashed 
But, it’s all part of the game
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Taglist:
@lacunaanonymoused
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bowiebond · 2 years
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This thing with the officer doesn't sit right with me. You can't say you don't like the karen situation and turn around and ship him with another adult
The difference was that that actually happened in canon. That’s why I think it’s fucked up. If Karen and Billy was something that never happened in canon and it was just a fun little crackship that people played around with after season 3 where Billy was 18, I probably wouldn’t care.
That and Karen was thinking of Billy sexually when he was still a minor, 17 yrs old in fact. Then she continued to purse him after he turned 18. That’s what rubs me wrong about the Karen and Billy situation. Because it was multiple gross canon interactions that kind of placed the blame on Billy for an older married woman with a whole ass family and daughter his age pursing him sexually. Not romantically (even if she was romanticising where the relationship could go), she very much intended to sleep with him and probably continue to do so while being married.
The Callahan and Billy shit? That’s me fucking around with two characters making my Ken dolls kiss because I’m a barely 20-something who’s attracted to much older men. It’s not canon. There was no implication of prior attraction to Billy when he was a minor. Karen’s behaviour was a minor case of grooming. Waiting around for the sexy underage guy to become legal and then openly thirst for him with other women her age at his workplace.
If Neil did that to Nancy? Expressed attraction to her when she was 17 and then essentially waited til she was 18 to hang around her job at the news agency? That would be fucking weird.
If an older man expressed open attraction to 18yr old Nancy and she reciprocated, I’d be a bit iffy but overall, I wouldn’t consider it my business as long as he had good intentions.
Karen’s intentions weren’t good; they were selfish because she couldn’t just talk to her husband and tell him point blank that she was unhappy with their marriage and he needed to buck up or fuck off. Ted wasn’t abusive, or even that big of an asshole, so it’s not like he would have hit her for bringing up her own feelings. At most he would have dismissed them and that’s when she’d need to put her foot down if she cared about her marriage, her family (she deserves to be someone outside of that, but that didn’t mean she had to pursue Billy and not some other hot guy around the town).
Ted was just a suburban dad who worked, payed the bills and came home. He obviously cared for his kids to some extent because what stops Karen from walking out is seeing him with Holly, cuddling on his armchair.
Karen was in the wrong for pursuing a kid who went to school with her daughter.
Me writing some shameless Older x Younger prompt about Callahan (who from our knowledge has no wife, kids, bad intentions, etc) and Billy when Billy is 18 is a whole different ball park.
You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to read it. You don’t have to agree with me either. You can consider both in the same circle of ‘bad things’. But that’s my opinion on the matter. There was no canon implication of grooming/predatory behaviour towards a minor with Phil.
Also, personally I feel like Callahan is between 28-32 in S4 (he gives young cop vibes), so the age gap isn’t so significant either; Karen and Billy is 22 yrs, Phil and Billy would be about 10-14. The number of years doesn’t always matter but I thought I’d add that just in case.
Edit: Phil’s actor is actually 31, so Callahan is likely actually 26-30 in S4 if we’re rocking with those numbers
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kaypeace21 · 4 years
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People seem to misinterpret what I’ve said in the past about mike “projecting his feelings for Will” on to El. So I’ll clarify.
When I say mike is “projecting his romantic feelings” for Will on to el. That doesn’t mean mike doesn’t care about El (at all) as a friend. Or sees El as Will (that’s not even how projection works -or what I’ve said). Although Mike isn’t perfect, he’s naturally empathetic and grateful for all El has done to help him and his friends. And he does see Will & El as 2 different people- despite the romantic projection. And unlike Will, he sees El in a more familial way- rather than romantic (despite him trying to force it to be romantic) .More on that later.Heck, Mike has already incorrectly  projected his NON-ROMANTIC emotions on to 3 other characters other than El (it’s a pattern of his to project his feelings about one person on to another)- which yes I’ll also discuss.
I guess I have to specify what projection is -like i’ve already inferred in prior posts .There’s a difference between projecting  “feelings” you have for one person on to another VS thinking those 2 people are literally the same person with no differences between those 2 people/or not acknowledging the unique personal relationships you have with both.  This misconception is used as a popular counter-argument/strawman argument -rather than just debating the points i’ve made) .  Ex) It’s like if you’re anger at your boss- but you can’t yell at them so you (subconscious or otherwise) are (unfairly) angry/irritable to your romantic partner later. It doesn’t mean you literally think your romantic partner and boss are 1 in the same - or there is no distinction between those 2 relationships. The same goes for how Mike views El and Will, despite “projecting”  his “romantic feelings for Will” on to El (although Mike does so poorly).
 Mike most likely projects his romantic feelings for Will on to El
In s3) he kisses El with a drawing of Will behind her head -that he can look at as he kisses her ... that should be an obvious hint he’s projecting (subconscious or otherwise) . 
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That’s Will -light brown hair/bowl cut, has fire powers like ‘Will the wise’.There’s also the fact that multiple characters in s1 mistook El for a boy (specifically Will) . Benny saying to El, “trying to steal from me boy?” Another man at Benny’s place mistook her for Will and said she could be “the byers boy... same height”. Hopper tracked El for most of s1 thinking it was Will. Homophobic Troy who harassed mike / talked about Will being gay said about El “ her head’s shaved she doesn’t even look like a girl”, officer callahan said “what’s Will doing with a shaved head?” The writers of ST are trying to tell you to pay attention to the fact el had a “ boyish /Will-like” appearance (and despite this- Mike was supposedly into her in s1). Then we had s2 byler parallel s3 mileven to show him fail to project his romantic feelings of Will on to el: Crazy together vs blank makes you crazy, , shed scenes: most important thing vs it was the best thing, Will & El calling for mike in the upsidedown (and mike coming for Will only), “they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet” vs “welcome to my world”,  Will having pics of Mike smiling on Halloween looking at him vs El having a pic of Mike glaring on Halloween,  mileven paralleled to luke/leia & byler to king tristan/Han, byler paralleled to Venkman/Dana a ghost busters couple vs El just being a ghost and mike a ghost hunter, the s3 fight vs breakup  and the various contrasts between all 3 (showing Will upset and El happy - and mike caring more about resolving his fight with Will than El- and never apologizing to El for lying ). I went into more detail here about the parallels between mileven/byer, mileven,stancy,Karen/ted , etc here.
And when he tells El “I can’t lose you again” It’s supposed to be ambiguous-cause Mileven like stobin is a straight bait. The fact is 2 prior times in season 2 (when mike was in the center of the group) he sadly watches Will as Will gets in a car and drives away. 
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Hinting to the viewer he’s actually thinking and worrying about losing Will (that 3rd time in s2 when he’s talking to El and seeing the cars with El/ Will drive away) . He once again is in the center of the group like the prior  2 scenes. And he already lost Will before and Will  (like el) also had a fake d*ath. So yeah...we hear mike tell el that line and mike watches both El and Will leave in cars (and starts to cry) since mike knows that Will (unlike superpowered El) may d*e from his possession and he may never see him again. And it’s not like he can tell Will that line when he’s unconscious/possessed (especially in front of his friends) .
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Just like in s2, when mike watches El and Will drive away .... he does so again in s3. And it’s similarly ‘ambiguous’, on who he’s upset seeing drive away.  But, Mike turns to looks at the byers house, and  tries to catchup with his friends (which has identically framing to an earlier scene in s3 of Will sadly turning to look at mike leave with El and then turning back to rush and  catchup with the gang). Will turned around cause of Mike (not El) just like Mike turned around thinking of Will (not El). Just like s2,s3 uses earlier scenes in that particular season to give us hints about who he’s actually sad about driving away .
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And in that moving away montage -  it only pans to mike and Will .
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And has Mike hug his mom in the same way he did in s1.  Both represent moments representing him ‘losing Will’ (through his fake d*ath/moving away).  Mike both times storms into the house and Karen rushes to him nervous and unsure why he’s upset , but goes into hug him when mike reaches for her (needing comfort). Unlike the mileven hug that’s outside and he doesn’t reach for her at all- she hugged him because she was worried  (was he upset -sure but it’s not a parallel to the s3 hug). And they played “we can be heroes” for both hugs - cause both times mike lost Will.
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And that s2 car scene where he talked to El (just like the prior s2 car scenes) was indicative of his fear of losing Will (not El).  Which happened at the end of s3. It all ties together. Cause again , he was thinking of Will!
They even had several movies on the st list (altered states / children of paradise) have this concept of projecting romantic feelings of someone they’re in love with on to someone else. Altered states -has a guy just like Will hallucinate flashing to another dimension . People say about him and his wife “he’s crazy and she’s crazy about him”. And when they weren’t together she says she had to pretend everyone she dated was him (but that it only made her feel worse cause it wasn’t him) .And she says about doing so “’it’s crazy”. And her friend says “i think that’s how it’s supposed to be.” CAN THEY GET MORE CLEAR with the projection?
Heck, even El projects on to Mike. While mileven is separated between s1-2 she watches the soap opera (’all my children’) and pretends to be Erica kane (who in the episode El was watching) got into a rushed elopement to MIKE ROY (who was a writer).Aka she projected romance from soap operas/her possible crush of MIKE roy onto MIKE wheeler.And Erica/Mike weren’t endgame- even had a lot of st*liking after the break up (similar to El’s spying)
Mileven and Byler are very different- much to Mike’s annoyance. And Mike projects this anger of not being able to love El romantically on to Max,Will, & Hopper.
Mileven and byler are very different even if mike wishes he had romantic feelings for El (like he does for Will). Mileven is paralleled to hopper/el cause mike truly sees her in a familial way- both teach her the definitions of compromise vs promise (and make promises to her), say to eat “real food” and not eggos, keep her hidden away and safe. Both say her new look is “cool” and El in response to both says it’s “bitchin” and both say back “yeah bitchin”. Both claim someone is “corrupting” El (when trying to dictate her romantic decisions ) and Joyce/Max tell both guys they don’t respect El’s ability to make her own “decisions”. And El says to both of them “you lie” while Max says El should figure out what she likes and not simply listen to Hopper and Mike.  Also similar to what she does with kali /Max (a sister/friend) El copies expressions from all 4 of them ( bitchin,  i make my own rules , not stupid, mouth breather/friends don’t lie).  Mileven is also paralleled to Luke/leia, and multiple people say El is like a “sister “ (lucas) and “cousin” (dustin) in s1. Even El asks before he first kisses her if Mike will he be “like (her) bother.”
In s2, Max (with the gang at Will’s house) asks how mike can still trust Will despite being possessed and in s3 max (with the gang at El’s house) calls out mike for not trusting El.  “El has saved the world twice. And Mike still doesn’t trust her!”And instead of Mike admitting that truth -that he doesn’t trust El who he doesn’t know well (who spied on him) he projects all the blame/distrust wrongly on to max saying “you want to talk about trust ?REALLY?! After YOU made eleven spy on us!” And when max says it was el’s idea he yells exasperated into Max’s face “guess girlfriends don’t lie they spy!” He shows he’s aggravated with the fact El is so against lying but had no qualms with spying. But only yells at Max (not El) and he even tries (incorrectly) claiming Max is “corrupting” El and making her do things she didn’t want to do . Cause he’s still in denial and wants to fall in love with El- and doesn’t want to see any of El’s flaws that would make it harder to do so ( so he just  projects that anger on to max instead).
And we know during the byler fight: Will calls El “stupid” but he was just projecting his own feelings about himself on to EL-since right after this he calls himself “stupid” 4x. So it’s likely when Mike yells back “El’s not stupid. It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”   Like Will, It’s AGAIN Mike PROJECTING his insecurities about himself (aka not liking girls) and his relationship issues with El - on to Will. Rather than an actual statement on Will’s se*uality. Sort of like Mike lashing out and projecting his anger about his failing romantic relationship with El on to Max .
The simple fact is el is mike’s safe option (she physically resembles Will but is a girl and thus he’s allowed to be attracted to her- in conservative 80s America). However, we see the more El develops into her own person and differs from Will in personality (plus , the fact puberty is making the distinction between genders more apparent) the harder it is for Mike to fool himself and project.The writers in s3 make a telemarketing joke just to have mike say “el, no, not interested” (aka his true feelings).Mileven in s3 was called “b*llshit” like stancy (which have multiple parallels and weren’t in love ). And nancy admitted to Jonathan (a byers ) she wanted to be with him the whole time. But ,despite that, got back with Steve (and continued to kiss Steve all the time, and even lied saying she loved Steve for an entire year) essentially mileven. Karen /ted also is paralleled to Stancy & mileven- who were “never in love” . Then , Max says friends don’t lie but “boyfriends (mike) LIE all the time” (aka he’s lying about his romantic feelings), and when lucas asks WHY he lied to el -it pans to Will (the real reason he lies to El about his feelings for her). When El asks “why do you lie” (he just is silent and stares up guilty).  Lucas says about mileven (right before Dustin says they’re “bullsh*t” that “they’re lying”.And when he tries confessing to El, he never apologizes for lying and just used the similar ‘crazy’ line he used on Will (in s2). Cause if he actually stopped lying - he couldn’t continue to use her as a beard and date her/try and get back together.  Plus he also fought with Hopper in s2 (’about El’) in WILL’S ROOM . He wasn’t actually calling Hopper the liar he  was PROJECTING and calling himself “a stupid disgusting liar”out of self hate .  That scene was foreshadowing his lying to El in s3 (about his feelings for her). He blamed Hopper for his feelings for Will cause he told himself it wouldn’t have escalated if El had been around to ‘fix him’ . “I BLAME YOU! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK. YOU STUPID DISGUSTING liar, liar, liar, liar”.starts crying. And then it zooms to Mike’s crying face and pans to El (who he would lie to constantly the next season).
I  also discussed in detail here how the bathroom stobin confession paralleled the mileven grocery confession- and again 1 in each of the couplets is gay. Heck, the “first i love you” plays only 2x in s3: when steve confesses to gay-robin and  when el confessed to mike and kisses him and Mike doesn’t kiss back or say he loves her back. When she kisses Mike- it’s in WILL’S ROOM room AGAIN,  Will’s old teddybear between them, as they kiss in front of Will open closet door) .  in s2ep1 the lyrics are “just a little more time can open closing doors” (as Mike kisses El and it pans over the ‘Will the wise’  drawing & a rainbow-heart-Mike drawing, that blend together). But , In the same ep- when Will says he won’t fall in love the lyrics are “love that is new to you, you open up the door.” Later in the song it even mentions the “wheeler house”. So yes- after “a little more time” (3 months) mike and El kiss once again like ep 1- but it’s  in front of Will’s open door and Mike is not feeling it- and it shows what is going to begin in s4 (byler). That after some time- despite the byler-doors appearing to ‘close’ they open up again after the mileven breakup/mike realizing the depth of his feelings and the fact he can’t ‘fix himself’ and be straight.El saying she loved him- and him not feeling any different after... was probably the catalyst for that realization.
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Before this, we saw him project “his feelings” for Will on to El in romantic situations. But, he refused to integrate her into his friend group like his straight friends did with their gfs-unlike lucas with max, or how dustin tried to do so with Susie) . Cause he’s unfairly used El as a beard and wanted to compartmentalizes his friends and romance as much as possible (since faking it all the time not only with El-but with his friends would be exhausting).
Does he care about El- sure in his own flawed way. But, sorry (in my opinion) to act like mike” loves Will and El equally “ is kind of ludicrous . His actions show the opposite. And he’s only known El for 9 months as opposed to knowing Will for 9 years. And he’s known all of his other guy friends and the Byers much longer. What do they have in common?Are they friends ? Sure...  technically but “friends don’t lie”. And mike has done plenty of that to her - so until they sort that out- and are honest to eachother- they can’t really have a strong foundation of friendship in my opinion. It’ll only improve once they start being honest and respect each other’s autonomy (aka stop dating and actually establish a friendship... and  stop lying /spying on eachother). At the moment- Mike stunts El’s character growth and tries isolating her from the outside world, doesn’t respect her autonomy/ability to make decisions, doesn’t trust her in general, lies to her, and treats her like he’s her overly controlling dad. The relationship isn’t balanced or healthy (like byler or Mike and his other peers). In s1 he called her “a weapon”  they could use to save Will (a lesson he appears to have learned from).But Max has to yell at Mike in s3 “she’s not yours! she’s her own person-fully capable of making her own decisions!” And EL says Mike treats her like “a pet” and “garbage”. So yeah...  I don’t get people being ‘offended’ by me pointing out the romantic projection he does- and saying it supposedly ‘destroys’ the ‘beautiful relationship/friendship’ they have. Before I can consider mileven a “beautiful/loving friendship’: Mike needs to stop projecting and seeing El as a perfect beard to ‘fix him’- AND see El as her own person and NOT someone he needs to ‘take care of’ (cause he wrongly infantilizes her) . I think the 2 will eventually become good friends- and Mike will see he was wrong. But they’re not there yet- in my opinion.
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tafadhali · 4 years
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Yuletide 2020 recs!
I’m still reading, but here are 43 recs in 38 fandoms.
AND THEN THERE WERE NONE
☆ Never Be Drowned (Vera Claythorne/Philip Lombard, timeloop, 2k)
BABY-SITTERS CLUB
Kristy’s Big Crush (Mary Anne Spier/Kristy Thomas, 7k)
BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
man-made lake (Ted Logan/Bill Preston, 5k)
BILLY ELLIOT
☆ Homefires (Michael Caffrey & Tony Elliot, minor Michael/Billy, 3k)
BOOKSMART
I VOTED DAVIDSON (Molly/Jared, 5k)
DISCWORLD
The World Turned Upside Down (Polly Perks, 5k) ☆ The Yunk and the Restless (Polly Perks/Maladicta, 3k)
FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF
☆ I'm the howling wind (let me be your friend) (Jeanie Bueller/Cameron Frye, 6k)
FIRST COW
A new and nameless thing (King-Lu/Cookie Figowitz, 1k)
GEORGETTE HEYER
☆ That Greek Thing (Friday's Child, Gil Ringwood/Ferdy Fakenham + canon relationships, 22k)  A Sense of Economy (Cotillion, Kitty Charing/Freddy Standen, 4k)
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE
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cannonballread · 7 years
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Kissing Ted Callahan (and Other Guys)
★★★☆☆
I have heard great things about Amy Spalding, and she’s been delightful on podcasts I listen to (what’s up, CIPYD??) which is why I picked up this book. I thought the premise was interesting, although having read a lot of YA books, I went in pretty sure I knew how the book was going to end. And instead I was pleasantly surprised! As someone who’s best friend in high school was a different gender, with zero romantic feelings between us, it was refreshing to read about Reid and Riley’s friendship!
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aerialovely · 3 years
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Book 5/25: Kissing Ted Callahan (and other guys) by Amy Spalding⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rating: ✩✩✩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Right off the bat, I had a feeling that this book was going to be one of those quick reads that isn't too great but entertaining enough to get through real quick...and I was right. It wasn't bad, but it also wasn't good. It was okay–probably wouldn't recommend–but so glad I finally read it. Yeah. https://www.instagram.com/p/CNaaF39hB5Q/?utm_medium=tumblr
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anavoliselenu · 3 years
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Jail chapter 2
“Is he dead?” Avery whispered, eyes wide. For a guy who had supposedly took a shotgun to his stepfather’s head, he was greener than all the hills in Ireland.
 “Yes,” I said as they finally took the body away.
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 “Whatcha all looking at?” the fat guard yelled. “Sit your asses down and eat.”
 None of them moved, and a few of them glanced at me.
 Moving forward, my footsteps echoed throughout the hall. It was only when I took my seat that everyone reverted to normal. Again, I grinned. Matty and Avery came over as well, sitting around me. Part of me wished that I could at least sit with my people. But for now, I was stuck.
 “It’s like you're a king here,” Avery leaned over as I ate my basically frozen peas.
 “That’s ‘cause he is, kid,” Marty snickered. “Your cellmate is the Justin Mad Hatter Callahan.”
 “The Mad Hatter?” he asked as he glanced at me. “What did you do? Are you like Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy?”
 I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
 “How the fuck ain’t you know who this man is? Ain’t you got a TV boy?” Marty threw a roll at his head, but I grabbed it before it hit him and took a bite.
 “Thanks,” he muttered to me then glanced at Marty. “My step father believed television was a source of sin.”
 “You ain’t ever read a newspaper? Step outside? What the fuck did he do? Keep you in a cage?” Marty joked.
 “Something like that, you don’t need a chain to be locked up,” he replied picking at his food. “But it doesn't matter anymore. I blew his head clean off.”
 I shook my head. He was trying to hide his fear but instead he came off like a dumbass.
 “If you don’t want a needle in your arm, don’t be saying shit like that,” Matty told him, picking through the mashed potatoes.
 “If I eva get a trial. The guy they gave me says I could be in waiting in here for a while. You got to trial quick, who’s your lawyer?” he asked me.
 I felt like he was trying to take notes or some shit. Without a word, I rose from the table and walked away.
 Once I left, so did a few others. They didn’t say anything, they simply followed me up the stairs. Our cells were just over the cafeteria, it was one of the few places we could move without the cuffs.
 “Stop,” Thing One snapped, as he stepped in front of me. The rest of the men lingered on the stairs a few paces behind me.
 “What are you doing?” I watched as they threw everything out my cell.
 “Cell search. Since you’ve been here, there’s been an influx of drugs. The warden doesn't like that.”
 The warden can kiss my fucking ass.
 “And you think the drugs are hidden where? In my mat?”
 He didn’t answer, he kept his arms crossed as the other guard ripped through anything and everything. And with each rip and toss, the urge to bash their skulls in grew to the point that my hands twitched. Seven more days. Seven more—
 “Are you pissed, Callahan? You look like you’re having a tough time,” Thing One remarked.
 Fuck it all. I was a goddamn Callahan.
 Turning around, I leaned on the rail, and stared down at all of the men who were just itching for an order. O’Connor glanced up at me.
 “Callahan, I’m talking to you.”
 “For the sake of your family, I hope you have a good life insurance policy,” I nodded, never breaking eye contact with O’Connor.
 The men on the stairs rushed the guards, grabbed onto their necks, and tackled them to the ground. Below us, chaos erupted, which pulled in every guard and staff member in the area. The sirens went off like a symphony orchestra; it was music to my ears.
 “It’s open season, my friends, let your inner monster out,” I stated softly.
 Stepping over the fallen guard, I grabbed the sheet, and ripped part of it before I held it to my nose and mouth. I started my countdown from five, and as expected, when I got to one, gas cans exploded, spreading below like fog.
 “Everyone down! Everyone down on the ground, now!”
 I wonder what the warden will say now.
 DAY 17
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 151.
 152.
 153.
 “How are you doing it?” she screamed, as she slammed her hand against the door.
 154.
 Ignoring her, I did another push up.
 “Callahan, I’m speaking to you!” the dear old Warden snapped.
 “I’m sorry, Warden, solitary has messed with my hearing,” I said as I stood up to stretch. “How are you today?”
 “You’ve been in here for three days. No visitors. No contacts. No nothing, and yet six of my men’s families have been targeted. Six. Two every day. How are you doing it? I know it’s you!” she howled, as she slammed her hand on my door once again.
 “Let me get this straight.” I used my shirt to wipe my face. “When I am in jail, it’s my fault. When I’m not in jail, it’s still somehow my fault? Maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s the Chicago Police Department. Maybe it’s you, for pissing me off. But then again, this all just hypothetical….”
 She swallowed slowly. “So this is the beast you are?”
 “I’m just a man in a cage.”
 “And you expect me to believe that you’re an innocent man?”
 I didn’t answer her, I really didn’t give a fuck whether she believed me or not.
 “You’re insane.”
 “Oh believe me, Dr. Alden, I haven’t even put in work yet,” I walked up to the door and almost chuckled as she took a step back. “I told you to read the file, after all, this is your facility.”
 “Three more days and then you’re out of my hair.” Her nose flared.
 I smirked. “So then by your hypothesis, six more families? By the time I leave here, no guard will ever want to work in this hole. If that isn’t the case now. Oh, and how did the drug search go?”
 “You sick bastard, I will make you pay for this!” she hissed.
 The conversation was already boring me, and by my tone of voice I was sure she could tell.
 “I tremble with fear. This cell is the worst you can do to me, even if you let me starve. Imagine what could possible happen if I put my mind to it.”
 She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
 I was so close to the window, the tip of my nose touched it. “You want this to end? Accept that I’m not your prisoner. You are mine. The sooner you realize that, the fewer funerals you’ll have to attend.”
 Dropping her head, she took another step back before turning away. “Take him to his brother in the visitor’s room. Take him there, then to his cell,” she said before walking away as fast as her tiny legs could take her.
 “W-w-we need y-y-your h-hands Mr. C-C-Callahan,” the guard stammered. He looked as pale as a sheet and ready to piss himself.
 Turning, I allowed them to cuff me.
 “Is that too tight?” he asked.
 I shook my head. “No. It’s fine.”
 “Cell 16012,” the guard called as the door opened.
 Break a few and everyone follows.
 As I walked in, no one made eye contact. They cleared a path for me as if I were Moses. After the second riot, they’d thought that all their problems would end if they threw me in a dark cell and never looked back. Sadly, I had planned for that. There was only so much damage that could be done from jail before we were all locked up. However, on the outside…on the outside anything goes. All O’Connor had to do was send out a name every few days.
Walking up to the glass, Declan just shook his head, as a smirk spread across his face.
 “How’s Ethan?” It was the only thing I had been obsessing about.
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 “He’s fine. The infection is gone and now he’s back to leaving toxic bombs in his diaper,” he said, and I felt slightly lighter. “Oh, and by the way, I fucking hate you man.”
 “Nice to see your pale face too,” I muttered into the phone.
 “Only you could buff up and turn a profit while being in jail. I checked our funds, and for a second I was baffled. So again, I fucking hate you man.” He sat up on to edge of his seat grinning. His hair was a little shorter and darker but he still looked like the same old Declan.
 “What else am I supposed to do with my time?”
 He shrugged. “Well, I’m glad you aren’t coming home sickly and depressed. Seems like the world is going crazy without you running it.”
 “How is the family business going?” With my luck, he and Neal had probably burned everything to the ground.
 “Stable-ish.”
 “What the fuck does that mean?”
 “It means we’re walking on thin ice. For now, everything is fine. We go day by day. Everyone is a ticking time bomb.”
 “And you?”
 “That includes me.” He frowned and I wondered if he was holding back.
 “I—”
 “Mr. Callahan, you have a few more minutes,” the guard behind me said.
 Turning to him, I raised an eyebrow causing him to just look away while his hands shook slightly.
 “Jesus Christ, it’s like high school all over again,” Declan snickered, as he stared at the guard wide-eyed before returning his attention to me.
 He was right though. “It’s exactly like high school. Take out the weak links, break the leader, and the next thing you know, your table is the popular one.”
 “I’ll never forget that slide show you played during class that exposed everyone’s dirty little secrets.”
 “I’m surprised you could see it through your emo hair,” I laughed at both him and at my twelve-year-old self. I thought I was so badass, but it was the best revenge I could think of short of actually hurting anyone.
 “Ahh, God.” His hands went to his face. “I’d forgotten about my two years as a Cyclops. Dark times.”
 “Mom hated your hair so much, she’d always try to brush it out of your face.”
 “Yeah, I was half expecting her to sneak into my room and give me a haircut.”
 I was sure the thought had crossed her mind.
 “How’s the public reacting to this, or better yet, to me?” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose, I needed some real sleep and I needed it soon.
 “CNN poll says seventy-three percent of the public think you're guilty. On the other hand, Nancy Grace has you at eighty-eight percent and is calling all your past girls to testify on just how much of a controlling asshole you are. I say fuck them all. No fucking respect. I swear. After all we’ve done for this goddamn city.”
 Or at least all the good things we’d done.
 “What did you expect? This is Chicago. You can’t trust anyone with anything at anytime. This city and its people will eat you alive. If they didn’t, it wouldn’t really be the same.” Even with all the fuckery, it was still my home.
 “There is also something going on, Justin. Evidence. Evidence that shouldn’t exist keeps finding its way into the police’s eager little hands. At first, without a body, I would say that this was a sad attempt, but someone is helping them out.”
 He looked frustrated but I couldn’t tell him. Not yet, I had to be out and off government phones before I pointed a finger at the director of the FBI.
 “The case is still weak,” was all I could say.
 “Yeah, well it doesn't help that Natasha was found dead in a ditch.” The smile on his face made me want to punch through the glass and into his nose.
 “Even from beyond the grave, she’s still pissing me off. She’s like a neverending nightmare. Coraline always told me to stay away from her.”
 Something flashed in his eyes with just mention of her name.
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 “How is Coraline?” I asked slowly.
 He smiled. “She’s good. She went through this phase of horrible wigs for a while. But the cancer is gone. She’s now the head of the Free Justin Campaign.”
 “The Free Justin Campaign?” I was almost afraid of what that meant.
 “Yes, it comes with cute baby pictures of Justin, along with pictures of you and Selena, all over Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. With stories of how great a person you are. Eighty-eight percent isn’t everyone. My wife is an organizer, what can I say?”
 For the love of fuck.
 “Tell her I said thanks, I guess.”
 “Justin, about Selena.”
 “Declan, don’t. She will be there.” I couldn’t have him doubting as well.
 “It’s been five months. No other calls, no check-ins.”
 “Declan—”
 “Maybe she wants to come home but can’t. Or was taken again. You need to prepare yourself for all the possibilities. Your trial is in three days. You cannot count on her being there, especially when I know that there’s something you aren’t telling me. Give me something, Justin, anything. What are we fighting?”
 He searched my eyes, however I hung up the phone, stood, and walked back to guards.
 What were we fighting? What did Ivan DeRosa truly want? And how the hell was I going to kill him?
 They were all questions I needed answered before I could answer him.
 DAY 20
 I couldn’t sleep. I wouldn't. Not on day like this. I sat up, my shoes loosely tied, hair just as messy as it always was, and waited. Three minutes until two a.m.
 “Mr. Callahan.”
 “Go to sleep, Avery,” I said, staring at the wall.
 “Can I say something?”
 “You already have.” In fact, the kid never shut the fuck up. I should have told the Warden to get his ass out of my cell. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t.
 He was silent and I just rolled my eyes before pinching the bridge of my nose.
 “What is it?” I asked.
 I heard him swallow as he licked his lips.
 “You have five seconds, Avery.”
 “I just…I don’t think you killed your wife. You don’t seem like a killer to me or a bad man. I know what a bad man looks like. You aren’t nice, but you aren’t a bad man. So good luck I guess.”
 I laughed. I just laughed. It actually felt good. I hadn’t heard something so bloody ridiculous in my whole life.
 Pausing for a moment I knew what I could do.
 “My people will look after you in here until I get you out. The moment I leave, the race lines will be brought up and you will feel the need to join the other blacks. Don’t. This is your one get out of hell card. Once you’re out, you’re going to work until you become somebody great...”
 He laughed. “I can’t play basketball or football—”
 “Is the only way you can become successful through sports? Stop talking before you piss me off and I change my mind. We. Will. Get. You. Out. You will work your ass off to become someone worth a damn because that is the only way you are going to pay me back for this. Ten or twenty years from now you will pay off your dues. Because believe me, I will come to collect. Do we have a deal, Avery Barrow?” I asked him seriously.
I heard him sit up. “You serious? How the hell are you gonna help me if you got your own shit to fix?”
 “Do we have a deal?” I rolled my eyes not quite sure why I was helping this brat.
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 “Yea. Yes. Imma try my best.”
 He was going to need to do better than his best.
 “Callahan.” The officer knocked on the door.
 Finally.
 Turning my back to him, he placed the cuffs on through the door.
 “Open Cell D2344,” the guard called.
 “Wait, what about your books?” Avery asked.
 My mother had brought them for me to stay sane. Sadly, I had finished them all in the first week.
 “Take them. Start fixing yourself,” I told him as I stepped out into the hall.
 All around me people began to pound on their doors, yelling my name with pride. With each step I took, it became louder and louder.
 They knew I wasn’t coming back…not ever. All I had to do was make it through this trial.
 THREE
 “Our trials, our sorrows, and our grieves develop us.”
 —Orison Swett Marden
 JUSTIN
 “Do you understand, Mr. Callahan?” my lawyer, Dillon DiMarco, asked me.
 I pulled my gaze from my son for a moment. He was chewing on his own fist with not a care in the world as he sat in Coraline’s lap. However, Olivia held onto one his hands. I tried not to make my blatant disapproval of that known. The family knew how I felt about her, but now was not the time to harp on my preferences. I had him in my sights and that was all that mattered. He was like a magnet to my eyes, I couldn’t keep them from him for more than a few seconds. He looked like a mini Mr. Clean in a suit; his bald head even had a glint.
 “Mr. Callahan?” DiMarco asked again, and the army of lawyers all paused their shuffling to stare at me. “I know this can be quite daunting. But I will do everything in my power to get you out of here.”
 Everything in his power. If only he knew how worthless his power was to me.
 “Don’t smile or laugh because the jury will think I’m not taking the situation seriously. Don’t be too serious or cold, because then they will think I’m heartless. Find a balance and set my face to it. Yes, I understand.” I didn’t know how that was humanly possible, but I understood.
 Turning back to Ethan, Coraline took one of his chubby arms and made him wave at me. His green eyes stared directly at me and he smiled so wide I couldn’t help but smile back. I’m not sure if he knew who I was or if he was just a happy baby, either way, seeing him made life worth living again. Coraline grinned as well, then turned to face me and I shook my head at the black T-shirt she wore with my face on it. Declan must have loved that one. She looked healthier than the last time I saw her, but she still had a scarf on her head.
 Declan rolled his eyes at me before he unzipped his jacket to show me that he was wearing one as well. Oh God. Thankfully my father and Neal had enough sense to wear suits.
 But when I took better look at them I noticed the buttons pinned to the lapels of their jacket suits. It seemed as if the only person not wearing ‘Free Justin’ paraphernalia was Olivia. In fact, she didn’t even look as if she wanted to be here. Her blonde hair was pulled back making her face look icier than normal. She shook her head at me before returning her attention to my son. I wanted to snap her ugly neck, but again, it was not the time, nor the place.
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My mother pointed to my neck signaling me to fix my tie. She and Coraline had dropped off a brand new suit for me, along with a deep green tie that supposedly highlighted my eyes. It was odd how even with all the clothing I had on, I still felt naked without my ring on. It had been taken when I was arrested, and I wouldn’t be able to get my personal effects back until after this sham of a trial was over. I fixed the tie as she directed, and she smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Sometimes we were so Brady Bunch it made me sick.
 The entire family was here…all but one. Looking towards the door, I noticed for the first time all the cameras directed at me. There had to be at least twelve leading news stations here, covering ‘Justin Callahan; The Billionaire Murderer.’
 “Show time,” DiMarco said, as he buttoned up his suit jacket.
 I looked at him with a raised brow.
 This was a show to you?
 “Please rise, the Honorable Judge Kelly Weston presiding,” the bailiff called out, and we all stood.
 Fuck.
 She was a short woman with simple features and stringy dark hair. People who were short always overcompensated in other ways. Most likely she was a hardass.
 “Good morning, please be seated,” she said, sounding almost bored. “Okay we’re on the record, case number 67F82C5 State of Illinois vs. Justin Callahan. All parties are here and present, is there anything else we need to take up before we call the jury in?”
 DiMarco, who was still standing, shook his head. “Not at this time, Your Honor.”
 “We’re ready to begin as well,” the prosecutor said.
 He looked like a grease ball, with his slicked back hair and alligator shoes. I knew Coraline and my mother were making some sort of face at him, and I wished I could look back at them to see it.
 “Okay, bring them in,” Judge Weston said.
 I wasn’t sure who thought these people were a jury of my peers. It looked as if someone had picked them up at last call in some bar…or at a Wal-Mart at three in the morning.
 “Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I hope you all have no problems being here. I just need to ask you one question. Did any of you read, listen or hear about anything regarding this case?”
 “No.” All of them shook their heads and they were all lying…maybe they were my peers after all.
 “Okay then.” She nodded over to the prosecutor, and DiMarco, along with his lawyers, all sat down.
 “Once again, good morning ladies and gentlemen.” He pressed a button on his laptop and a photo of Selena in her wedding dress, smiling brightly and looking happy, appeared on the projector screen. It made me want to laugh because at that time in our relationship she’d wanted to kill me. But the photo captured her beautifully beyond the lie.
 “I want you to take a good look at Mr. Callahan, that man sitting there, one of the sons to the infamous billionaire Callahan family, and remember that he is not one of you. You see, Mr. Callahan hasn’t worked a day in his life. He’s never had to worry about bills or food or even safety. Everything has always just been handed…no, thrown at him. Women especially.
 “Go back only two and half years ago to his life without his wife, Selena Giovanni. Party after party, girl after girl, almighty freedom. Justin Callahan did whatever he wanted, whomever he wanted. No woman lasted on his arm for more than a month before he threw her away. Then poof, he’s married to the beautiful Ms. Selena Giovanni, and you’d think that would be enough. You’d think he would be happy. But a man like him can never be tied down without repercussions. Past girlfriends of his are either dead or their lives have been so altered that they cannot function as they once normally did; he breaks them and then throws them away.”
 For the love of Christ, someone needed to put one between his eyes.
 “Does this sound like a man ready to be married? A man ready to start a family? No. Justin Callahan did what all the Callahan men do; they get married while young, a tradition.
“The evidence today will show that Mr. Callahan wanted to return to his previous life. He wanted the parties, the girls, the fun, and he would do anything to get it. He couldn’t live the immoral life he wanted to with the devoutly religious and beloved Selena. When she became pregnant with their first child, Justin panicked and tried to get rid of it because he felt trapped. Selena was hospitalized with a stab wound to the stomach, and she’d claimed that she fell down the stairs with a knife.”
 FUCK YOU. How dare you? I screamed in my thoughts.
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 The pain of losing our first child still stung. We’d lost our child…
 From the corner of my eye I noticed that Olivia stood up, took Ethan out of Coraline’s arms and walked over to the exit.
 “Sadly for Mr. Callahan, Selena didn’t die. The baby was gone, but she did not die. However, that wasn’t the last time Selena was hospitalized. In fact, she had taken a gunshot wound to shoulder. She had been in car accident. There was no explanation. How does a car accident equate to a gunshot wound? Coincidentally, Selena was pregnant again. This time, Mr. Callahan knew what to do. The way to get his freedom back, was to get rid of her. Only moments after giving birth, Selena disappeared. The only people who could have been there were her doctors and Mr. Callahan himself.”
 You are going to pay. I was going to make sure you spent your entire life regretting this one long ass fucking opening statement.
 “Ladies and gentlemen, her blood was found on his clothing and his boots. Witnesses will testify to his anger, hospital logs will show Selena’s suffering. Do not let that man in the fancy suit fool you. Justin Callahan murdered his wife. We don’t have body; we wish we did so that her son could at least have that. But money can buy you a lot of twisted things in this world. Justin Callahan wanted to wipe Selena off the face of the earth, and he thought he could get away with it. Don’t let him walk away from this. Selena Nicci Giovanni-Callahan needs justice. Baby Ethan Callahan needs justice.” He turned and walked to his seat next to his proud peers.
 He’s using my fucking son?
 The blood in my veins felt as though it would boil over at any moment. What made it worse was the fact that the jury actually looked as though they were believing his bullshit. They all looked towards the screen, staring at her picture sadly. He let it hang there for a few seconds before he finally clicked it off.
 DiMarco stood, walking forward, his bald head shining as he wiped the corners of his mouth and shook his head. “That opening statement you’ve just heard is the very essence of this case; no facts, all assumptions, made against my client, Justin Callahan, because of two things: he’s rich, and he has a past. That is why the state of Illinois wants to lock him away for life, for something he did not do. Mr. Callahan has never shied away from his past. In fact, he and his wife joked about it openly to the press. The difference with Selena was the fact that he loves her.
 “Mr. Callahan told me not to call her Selena because she hates that. The prosecution doesn’t know her. If they did, they’d know that Selena was a proud owner of a gun and often went hunting. She enjoyed opera though she couldn’t sing to save her life, but did anyway just because Justin Callahan told her he loved her voice. Every last person who is close to Selena stands by my client; they believe he is innocent. All the evidence the prosecution will attempt to present is nothing but circumstantial at best.
 “There is no smoking gun. There is no crime scene. This is just another case of the Chicago Police Department failing to protect its citizens and searching for a scapegoat. I ask all of you; do you really trust the police in this city? After everything they’ve failed to do?” Turning back to the screen he clicked and again a photo of Selena appeared.
 “This photo is upsetting, I cannot imagine what my client must be feeling knowing that his wife is still out there, but he cannot search for her. He can’t help to find his wife because the Chicago Police Department gave up their search and pointed a finger at him. This isn’t justice. This is a witch hunt, and I will not let an innocent man be burned at the stake for the prosecution and the state department to give themselves a pat on the back. Tell them to do their jobs. Tell them to find Selena, because Justin Callahan did not kill his wife. Justin Callahan is an innocent man. He and his family need justice.”
 He confidently walked back to our area before taking a seat beside me.
 Staring at her photo, the lump in my throat wouldn’t disappear. Turning away, I looked at the door. People came in and some left. But none were her.
 Where the fuck are you, Selena?
 *****
 “Please state your name for the record,” the prosecutor told the blonde haired woman on the stand.
 “Dr. Amy Lewis,” she leaned into the microphone.
 “Dr. Lewis, you were Selena Callahan’s doctor, correct?”
 “Yes. I was there during her first pregnancy.”
 “Can you take us through the incident that happened the very first time you met Mr. Callahan two years ago?”
 She looked at me and then glanced over at the jury. “That night, his wife came in with the stab wound to the stomach. She was in surgery, and Mr. Callahan was angry. He took me by the neck and slammed me into a wall.”
 Fuck me.
 DiMarco sat up a little straighter in his chair, and flipped through his papers.
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“Did Mr. Callahan say anything to you?”
 “Objection!” DiMarco stood. “Relevance?”
 “Your Honor, Dr. Lewis is here to testify to Mr. Callahan’s character, I do believe that is relevant.” He glared back.
 “I agree,” the judge said looking to DiMarco. “Overruled.”
 “I’m sorry, Dr. Lewis, as you were saying, what did Mr. Callahan say to you?”
 Nodding, her hands reached for her throat. “He said something along the lines of ‘I will rip your head from your shoulders, you classless, low life, idiotic bitch.’ That he owned the hospital and owned this city.”
 Oh that bitch.
 The jury turned to me with shock and distaste coloring their eyes.
 The prosecutor looked to the jury. “So he threatened you?”
 “Yes.”
 “Do you believe he meant what he said?”
 “Yes.”
 “Thank you, Dr. Lewis. Your witness,” the prosecutor said to DiMarco.
 Rising from the chair, he fixed his jacket. “That must have been scary. Did you call the police, Dr. Lewis?”
 Leaning back, all I could do was glare into her eyes. She looked trapped as she tried her best to look away from me.
 “No, I didn’t.”
 “But you just told these people that he threatened you, that you truly believed what he said, why didn’t you call the police?”
 “I…I don’t know.”
 “You don’t know? Why don’t you know you? It seems simple; a man threatens your life, you call the police.”
 “Objection! Badgering the witness!” The prosecutor all but jumped out of his seat.
 “Sustained. Mr. DiMarco please allow the witness to answer your questions,” the judge said, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. If this was “badgering the witness,” Dr. Lewis should find religion and fast, because after this was over, I had no doubt we would be meeting again.
 “Of course, Your Honor,” DiMarco said. “Dr. Lewis, while Mrs. Callahan was losing her baby, fighting for her life, were you or were you not trying to flirt with Mr. Callahan?”
Her mouth dropped open and her eyes almost fell out of her head.
 “I…I…No…I…”
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 “So you did not place your hand on Mr. Callahan’s arm and offer to do ‘anything’?” he pushed.
 She swallowed as she shook her head. “He may have misunderstood, I was trying to comfort him—”
 “Instead of helping his wife,” he cut her off.
 “There were more than enough people working on her.”
 “Were you assigned to Mrs. Callahan’s case then?”
 She sighed loudly. “No, I was in the wing when he came in—”
 “So you approached him?”
 “Yes.”
 “Did he seem distraught?”
 “Yes, that’s why I went to him!” she snapped quickly. “He looked like he was going to break down at any moment.”
 “Because he loved his wife and was worried?”
 She stopped for a second and nodded. “Yes. I guess so.”
 “Dr. Lewis, did Mr. Callahan threaten anyone else at the hospital?”
 Her head dropped as she stared at her hands. “No.”
 “These are Mrs. Callahan’s X-Rays taken after she lost her baby, correct?” DiMarco clicked, and on to the screen x-rays of Selena’s chest, hand and legs appeared.
 Dr. Lewis looked slightly confused, as she leaned in to see before she nodded. “Yes, those are hers.”
 “And how do you know?”
 “The old breaks in her left radius, right tibia, and long with the healed breaks in her proximal phalanx.”
 “Proximal phalanx?”
 “Those are the bones in her hands.”
 “Yes, of course. And what about her rib cage?” he asked as he clicked to another picture.
 “More of the same, healed breaks along fifth, sixth, and seventh ribs.”
 “How long ago was this?”
 She shrugged. “I’m not a forensic anthropologist, but I would say anywhere between twelve to fourteen years ago for some of them.”
 “At which time Mr. Callahan could not possibly have—”
 “Objection! Beyond the scope!” the prosecutor yelled. “There is no way Dr. Lewis can testify to that.”
 Are you fucking kidding me? She can say I scared her but she can’t fucking testify using her bloody medical degree?
 “Your Honor—”
 “Sustained. Please keep it on the facts, Mr. DiMarco,” the judge stated, and I was torn between screaming and taking a bat to her little head.
 Maybe both.
 “Why would someone have those types of breaks, Dr. Lewis? Could it possibly be that she was a fighter?”
 “Objection—”
 “No further questions, Your Honor,” DiMarco said as he walked back over to me. The good doctor quickly got off the stand, trying her best not to look at me.
 “Your Honor, the defense would like to call to the stand Fedel Morris,” DiMarco said reading from his paper.
 I wasn’t even aware that any of our men were in the room, but there he was, dressed in his Sunday best. It was odd how everyone seemed to look the same. I’d been away for five months, and the only two people who looked different were Ethan and myself.
 DiMarco stepped forward again. “Please state your name for the record.”
 “Fedel Gino Morris.”
 “Thank you, Mr. Morris. I’ll get right to it, how long have you worked for the Giovanni family?”
 “A little over a decade.” He looked bored.
 “So you would know why she was so badly hurt?”
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 “Yes, I can testify to being the reason for at least one of her broken hands,” he snickered.
 “You broke her hand?”
 “More like she broke it against my jaw once.”
 She’d probably done it more than once.
 “Was she violent? Why did she hit you?” he asked him before looking to the jury.
 “We trained together. She spent years learning to defend herself. Her father didn’t want her to be a victim for any reason.”
 “And if Mr. Callahan had put a hand on her…”
 “She would be sitting in his place right now.”
 “You have a lot of confidence in her.”
 “Objection! Is there a question in there somewhere?”
 This motherfucking prosecutor was working my last fucking nerve.
 “Excuse me, Your Honor, let me rephrase,” DiMarco replied. “Why do you have so much confidence in Selena?”
 “She’s a fighter, always has been, always will be. She isn’t some weak abused Stepford wife that allows her husband to take advantage of her. And if in some twisted reality Mr. Callahan was hurting her, I can say without a doubt that he would not be sitting here today.”
 Well that’s comforting, and here I thought I’d been making progress with her people.
 I hear the door open, and the clicking of heels along the ground, and the hope in me built up as I fought with myself to not turn around. It wasn’t her. It was never her. There was no point in turning back.
 “No further questions. Thank you, Mr. Morris.”
 As he sat down, the prosecutor stood. “We have no questions for this witness, Your Honor. But we would like to call Officer Anthony Scooter to the stand.”
 It’s like a who’s who of everyone hates Justin.
 I had no doubt that this would be entertaining.
 He sat tall and proud as if he were expecting the city to give him a fucking medal. I wanted chop off his head and stick it on a motherfucking flag pole.
 “Officer Scooter, you were one of the arresting officers on scene, correct?”
 “Yes, I was. I was also the point man on the case.”
 Keep talking, asshole, you’re burying yourself six feet deep and you don’t even know it.
 “Why did you suspect Mr. Callahan?”
 “Mr. Callahan did his best to avoid talking to us. Then I found a connection between his past girlfriends and it became increasingly clear that Mr. Callahan was hiding something. There was blood belonging to Mrs. Callahan on his boots, along with three guns, in his bedroom alone.”
 What, they’d only found three? Declan must have locked down everything else.
 “Surely you questioned him about your findings, what did he say?”
 “He said nothin’. His hotshot lawyer came in and he didn’t say a word to anyone. He looked dazed.”
 “Dazed?”
 “Yeah, like he was high or drunk—”
 “Objection! Speculation.” DiMarco stood.
 “No further questions,” the prosecutor replied, saving us all the time.
 “Officer Scooter, is it true that this isn’t the first accusation you’ve directed towards my client and his family?” DiMarco asked.
 “I don’t understand the question,” he replied.
 Really this was the man everyone trusted to tell the whole truth?
 “Do you have a vendetta against the Callahans, Officer Scooter?” DiMarco snapped causing the jurors to shift in their seats.
 “No. I just believe the rich shouldn’t get away with murder. They aren’t untouchable, no matter how badly they want to be,” he snarled, glaring into my eyes.
 “So it’s the rich you have a problem with.”
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lindsglenne · 6 years
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I usually don’t do TBR’s, I pick as I go. Maybe sometimes I’ll have a theme to my reading, like summer books during summertime (groundbreaking, I know), but other than that I mostly go on mood. However at the end of the month, I’m heading to the LA Times Festival of Books.  I used to go to this festival when I was young and it was at UCLA, but I’ve been to this iteration at USC for the past four years.  I’m also going to YALLWEST the first weekend in May. I spend most of my time at these festivals at author signings. I bring my suitcase with all my books of the writers I’ll be meeting that day.  I hate going to a signing having not read the author’s book, so my reading for the next month will be dedicated to finishing off the list of the writers I’ll be seeing.  Some I’ve already read but others were recently released so I’m only getting the chance to read them now. I won’t say much about them, obviously, because I haven’t read them yet, but also no spoilers!
Emergency Contact – Mary H.K. Choi
I’m currently reading this right now and so far, I really like it. A big part of that is because it’s set in college
I Have Lost My Way – Gayle Forman
I think her writing is pretty extraordinary so I’m excited to dive into this.  Probably my next pick for the month.
Dream Things True – Marie Marquardt
 Pretty generic, but so am I
The Summer of Jordi Perez – Amy Spalding
I really dig Amy as a person.  She has a funny Twitter and a colorful Instagram.  I really enjoyed Kissing Ted Callahan but I DNF’ed The New Guy. Who knows how I’ll feel with Jordi Perez, but the fact that it’s set in LA is a huge plus.
Leah on the Offbeat – Becky Albertalli
I’M SO EXCITED! A lot of my enthusiasm is because this “world” is fresh in my head after two viewings of Love, Simon.  But a plus-sized badass like Leah? PUMPED!
Tyler Johnson Was Here – Jay Coles
Can you blame me if I said a lot of my reasoning for this book is that cover…?
Something in Between – Melissa De La Cruz
Honestly this book is probably my lowest priority if I don’t get everything else read. I don’t know how I feel about writers who crank out books as fast as she does…
Winner Takes All – Laurie Devore
The cover makes it seem to be lighthearted but the synopsis seems like the opposite.  Surprise me!
Broken Beautiful Hearts – Kami Garcia
This is another book that is pretty low on my list.  I feel like it’s going to be a generic teen romance with not a lot else going on.  I hope I’m proven wrong!
The Dangerous Art of Blending In – Angelo Surmelis
This seems like it’s going to be a really tender and beautiful story.
Other books I’m bringing but I’ve already read them:
Down and Across – Arvin Ahmadi
A little slow at the beginning, but all-around a good story.
Little and Lion – Brandy Colbert
LOVED it.  I’m pretty sure it was in my Best of’s at the end of last year.
The Authentics – Abdi Nazemian
This book went a different direction than what I thought.  Definitely brought more depth to a story that could have been superficial.
American Panda – Gloria Chao
Reviewed a few weeks ago.  Great college book that explored cultural differences between a family.
Dear Martin – Nic Stone
I wanted this to be so much longer! I was so in it, I think I read it in one night.
Grace and the Fever – Zan Romanoff
I’m a sucker for a good music-centered book
E. Lockhart:
We Were Liars fucked me up
Gayle Forman:
I’ve read all her books (except Sisters in Sanity) and I enjoyed all of them, but my favorite is probably I Was Here.  A little more mature, dealing with the grief of losing your best friend.
Marie Marquardt:
I’ve read two of her books (with one on my TBR) in very close proximity of one another.  I think I would have enjoyed them more if I had a separation time between.  She writes a lot about immigration and illegal aliens so the two books felt extremely similar.
The 12 Steps to Normal – Farrah Penn
Review coming Friday!
Becky Albertalli:
WHAT A QUEEN!
Love, Hate, and Other Filters – Samira Ahmed
Heavily hyped but did not disappoint.
One of Us is Lying – Karen M. McManus
This book got me into reading more mysteries!
  Let me know if you’ve read any of these books and what you thought!
April TBR: Festival Addition! I usually don't do TBR's, I pick as I go. Maybe sometimes I'll have a theme to my reading, like summer books during summertime (groundbreaking, I know), but other than that I mostly go on mood.
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professorconfessor · 7 years
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I have been neglecting my blog.  I could make a lot of excuses, like I was grading papers or I was working on my novel, but the truth is, none of my excuses are any good.  I decided to take a break from Facebook for a while, which means I spend more time on Twitter and Tumblr - far superior social media over FB.  And I also decided to start reading again.  There is so much good TV available lately - on cable, broadcast, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc., that it’s easy to justify watching instead of reading.  But as a writing teacher, I always tell my students that the best way for them to improve their writing is for them to read.  I can’t be a hypocrite and not take my own advice.  (Yes I can, but anyway...) 
So I went to the library with my kids and I picked up Kissing Ted Callahan (and other guys) by Amy Spalding and I read it in like one day.  It was just so simple and easy to read.  It had great characters, written without too much description, leaving it to the reader to picture them how we want.  I used to write like that.  I love reading stuff like that.  Being a writing teacher has sort of ruined me, because I have to tell my students to add more description and imagery.  But the truth is, a lot of times that stuff bores me.  Yes, I can appreciate it in beautiful books, but when I want to read a quick and light YA novel that includes friendship, flirting, heartbreak, love, lots of kissing and even a little sex, I want to get to the point.  I don’t need a lot of description to get me into the story.  I want to already be in the story.  This book put me there and that’s why I enjoyed it so much.  I went back to the library a few days later and picked up another Spalding book, The New Guy (and other senior year distractions), and so far it’s just as good.  This is inspiring me to write and reminding me to stay true to my writing style.
There was a cheesy line in The Hurricane, a movie about the boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, played by Denzel Washington, who was imprisoned for something like 20 years for a crime he didn’t commit.  In the film, a boy gets inspired to help Carter get out after reading Carter’s book The Sixteenth Round: From Number 1 Contender to Number 45472.  When the boy picks up the book at a flea market, his friend says, “Sometimes, we don’t pick the books we read.  They pick us.”  That line has been running through my head since I picked up the first Spalding book.  And then I googled the author to learn a little more about her and found out that she offers coaching and editing services to writers.  So I emailed her.  I don’t know.  That line is looking more and more true and making me want to believe in destiny, and have faith, and all that crap.  
So maybe I’ll have an actual professional read the book I finished earlier this year.  Any maybe something will happen with it.  I’ll keep you posted.  I won’t neglect you again, tumblr.
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thenovl · 9 years
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The March NOVLbox
Are you ready for some rom-com fun?! This month’s curator is Amy Spalding, author of Kissing Ted Callahan (And Other Guys) and her newest novel, The New Guy (And Other Senior Year Distractions), is coming out next month(!). Which, by the way, we think you guys are going to LOVE. It’s a fantastic contemporary that’s full of giggles…and passive-aggressive dog walking. YUP. 
As an early celebration, we asked Amy to put together a NOVLbox and let’s just say, this one is filled with goodies that will have you both laughing AND swooning. 
What’s a NOVLbox? It’s a care package from one of our favorite authors. What’s inside? It’s a mystery! If we told you what’s inside, we’d ruin the fun. But…we’ll give you a hint of what to expect. Check out the archive to see what curators have included in the past!
How It Works:
Enter HERE for a chance to win. 
We’ll select & notify 10 lucky winners at the end of the month.
A surprise will be waiting in the winners’ mailbox!
Good luck, and keep those fingers crossed! 
P.S. Stay tuned for more fun with The New Guy later this month! All we’ll say now is that it involves some good ol’ boy bands (aw yeah!) and we’re going to need YOUR help ;-) 
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thebooktrove · 10 years
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Review | Kissing Ted Callahan (and Other Guys)
Image via Goodreads Release Date: April 14th from Poppy
Um, Amy Spalding have we met? Because I am pretty sure you just wrote about me in your newest book, Kissing Ted Callahan (and Other Guys).
Awk-ward. No really, awkward. This book is chalk full of it and it will have you laughing out loud (and yes, mighty loud) til the end.
I love Spalding’s characters, like L-O-V-E. Each of her characters…
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