#kou is out here trying to KILL

[honeekyuu]

genius. [akaashi keiji x f!reader] chapter one.

>>You struggle to pay rent on your limited graduate student salary, and your worst enemy agrees to help you out.

or

You realize you need to find a partner for your faceless porn account, and Akaashi Keiji is the only man who meets all your requirements.<<

series status: [ongoing]

masterlist. || next.

a/n: this series is going to be the death of me. im currently writing ch. 2, and the first scene (the first scene!!! of 9!!!!!) is 10k words. i wrote a 10k smut scene. :)))) im actively dying. please enjoy chapter 1!!!

[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]

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“ Shit, shit shit- ” You throw things all over the apartment, searching for your keys. The clock on the wall reads 10:55AM, flipping quickly to 10:56 and making you swear again. “ Fuck! Oh-” You snatch up your house keys with a victorious cheer and then immediately race for the door, your bag hauled over your shoulder on the way.

You turn the 30-minute bike ride to campus into 20 minutes, but that still gets you to the door of the Linguistics department by 11:15. You slam down on the elevator button repeatedly while you wait, glancing back at the rest of the lobby only when you hear someone call your name. It’s a student of yours, so you have to smile and wave back politely, even though all you want is to scream ‘ I’m so fucked! ’ into the void. 

The elevator doors open, and you treat the buttons on the inside panel with the same cruelty, choosing to text your frustrations to Bokuto while you wait to arrive on the 5th floor.

[11:16 AM]

You: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Kou: OMG SAME

You: ?? whats wrong on your end

Kou: nothing why?

Kou: IS SOMETHING WRONG???

You snort, rolling your eyes.

You: late to my 11am

Kou: OH THE READING GROUP

Kou: which one is that??? Linguisticsomething of something something??

You: you know,,, there was no way to be wrong with that answer kou

Kou: :))))) 

You: it’s LEM

Kou: LINGUISTICS AND EXPERIMENTAL METHODS

Kou: RIGHT

Kou: oh wait isnt that the one akaashis in?????

You: thats why im fucked

Kou: oh im sure he wont say anything

Kou: SAY HI FOR ME

The elevator opens, so you shove your phone away and race down the hall to the lab room. You skid to a stop in front of the door, taking a calming breath before pushing into the room as quietly as possible. A few people glance up from the round table in the center with small smiles before returning to the presentation on the screen, but you know well enough that you’re not in clear.

“-f it’s true then that case gets valued where base-generated, rather than at the landing site after Movement, we should see that these forms are nominative-marked. However, clearly, we get accusa-” 

You take the seat closest to the door, and it creaks.

Akaashi Keiji’s eyes find yours.

You grimace openly at him, and he lifts an eyebrow, his finger still hovering over the example on the TV.

“Y/n. Would you like me to start over?”

You struggle not to roll your eyes at him, your face burning with embarrassment. “Of course not. Please, continue.”

“It might be helpful if I start over-”

“I don’t need the background on case valuation in Korean, Akaashi,” you snap. “We work on the same language.”

You watch his eyes harden. It’s only you that he looks at like that. He opens his mouth, but your advisor cuts in on your left.

“Okay, you two,” he says. “Let’s try not to kill each other today.”

You lean back in your chair, arms crossed, and meet Akaashi’s eyes evenly. He stares back blankly only a moment before returning to his presentation.

“So, we can see here that accusative-marked nominals are permitted, despite the prediction that only nominative is grammatical-” 

You let out a quiet breath, trying to pay attention to his presentation – because, no doubt, he’d put you on the spot about it soon – while also recovering from the adrenaline rush of getting here. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you extract it subtly, glancing at the screen. There are two alerts.

Bank Account Balance (Oct. 10); $562.95

Rent Notification: Rent and Utilities; Payment ($1018.00) Due Nov. 1

Your heart sinks, a lump forming in your throat, and you shove your phone away, returning to Akaashi’s presentation. A coffee cup from the nearby cafe slides into your periphery, and you turn to see your advisor pushing it toward you silently, his own cup in front of him. He doesn’t look at you, but he does crack a tired smile.

“ Drink, ” he whispers. “ You’ve had a hard couple days. ”

You smile and bring the cup to your lips, ignoring when Akaashi glances at it and then between you and your advisor. It’s your regular order, and you’re immensely glad that most of your advisor meetings happen at coffee shops. You make it through Akaashi’s presentation with little issue – unsurprisingly for the department’s Golden Boy, his work is flawless. You agree with every argument he makes, every flaw he finds in the analyses of previous work.

So when he says “ Any questions?” in that polite, soft-spoken way of his, you’re prepared for the very few questions asked to be nothing more than clarification. No one has any comments about his thinking or his analysis, and no one challenges him. Because Akaashi Keiji is always right. 

But you can also see that these questions don’t excite him. He answers each one nicely, nodding along and mumbling ‘ Yes, that’s right ’ or humming thoughtfully – as though he needs to think about it at all – and then shaking his head, clicking through his slide deck until he can point to something and correct someone’s thinking. But he looks a bit disappointed, like he’d been hoping for a bit more of a discussion. He even glances at your advisor hopefully – but your advisor is also his advisor, so why would he have any notes? He’s already pre-approved all of this.

Well, that’s what you get for being so smart, you think with a little bit of snark. Your advisor always preaches to the group that peer feedback creates room for improvement, but what’s Akaashi supposed to do when there’s no more room? He’s already the best.

He meets your eyes briefly, and you look away. You’re not going to give him what he wants.

“Okay, then,” he says after a moment, unplugging his laptop from the TV. “Thanks for listening – Y/n?” You pull your laptop from your bag, standing and rounding the table. You take the HDMI cord from him, slipping into the chair he’d occupied. He takes yours, careful not to touch your things. You sigh softly and then smile at the rest of your reading group.

“Hey, guys. Thanks for coming.” You gesture to the TV, your slide deck open. “So, if you were here for my most recent project, you know that I got some interesting results and will be broadening the scope in order to explore them for my dissertation.”

You launch into your presentation, the material so familiar to you that you don’t have to think about what to say. Your second major project had wrapped up last year, your name sitting on a journal article set to print at the end of the month. You’d gotten a number of reviewers asking similar questions, all related to the experimental results of one of your tasks, so you and your advisor had decided that, for the dissertation, you would be increasing the technical difficulty and redoing the experiment with new materials and a more rigorous theoretical analysis.

You present this to the group, outlining your idea and the changes you’d be making to the original project in order to answer the open questions left by your reviewers. By the end of your 20-minute slot, you’ve got most of the group nodding along in agreement.

Most of the group.

You do your best not to look at him, but you can still see Akaashi sitting there with his arms folded in his lap, his expression void of everything. His eyes skim your slides, unreactive, and you just know that you’re in for it.

“Okay-” you sigh, clapping your hands on your knees. “That’s it. Thoughts?”

Your advisor lifts his brows, a smile tugging at his lips, and you know he’s thinking the same thing.

Just the grilling of a lifetime incoming .

There’s silence for a while, everyone trying and failing not to look at Akaashi, because they know how this will go. And then his lips part, a soft breath taken.

“Can I… ask a few questions?” He starts gentle, the way he always does. He fools everyone into thinking he’s sweet and soft and careful, but you know better. You know that, if you were anyone else, he wouldn’t have started like that. He would have complimented their work first, noted the things he thought they’d done well.

You’ve never heard a compliment from Akaashi Keiji in the five years you’ve known him.

“Of course,” You sigh. Some snickers pass through the group.

“How do you know that this will tell you anything at all?”

He doesn’t hold back – you’ll give him that.

“Sorry?”

“If your results indicate a misalignment between the production of this ambiguous form and the comprehension of it, why are you using eye-tracking to test only comprehension? Where’s your production gone?”

You inhale slowly, flicking back through the slides. “Like I said before, there are two possibilities for why this form was over-produced and under-accepted by participants. Either they are operating within their grammar and just attaching an emphatic element to a different word, resulting in a homophone with the ambiguous form I’m interested in-” You flick through more slides. “Or they’re operating outside of their grammar, in which case there are discourse factors at play.” 

You meet his eyes with a tight smile, trying to remain polite. “Running an eye-tracking task with comprehension will let me see, in real time and without metalinguistic interference, if they accept this form in situations that should be ungrammatical. If they don’t, then these results are due to emphatic attachment and that’s that. If they do, then..” You shrug. “There’s more to be done. But my point is that production wouldn’t be necessary here. I have what I need.”

The group all shift their eyes from you to him in an instant, waiting for the tennis match to start. Akaashi only meets your gaze for a moment and then nods, and you feel mildly victorious at having won this interaction. But you swallow it down, because he’s opening his mouth again.

“And what about case?”

You almost roll your eyes. “What about it?”

“What analysis are you adopting?”

“I’m only using accusative-marked forms for this experiment,” you say. “The object of the embedded clause is the position I need. I’m not adopting competing analyses.”

“But there are other ways to mark case on these forms – as I’m sure you’re aware.” His gaze narrows at you when he says it, and you know he’s getting back at you now for your comment earlier. “What about those?”

“I’m not interested in them-”

“ Right ,” he bites. “I understand that. But what are the case alternations available?”

It takes a special kind of person to draw Akaashi Keiji’s patience short, and you’re happy to be that person every single time. You have to purse your lips not to smile, because there’s a little piece of you that finds it funny to draw out that twitch in his eyebrow that no one else claims to have ever seen.

“Genitive and nominative, and dative under restricted circumstances.”

He lifts his brows at you. “So pretty much all of them.”

You nod simply. “But using pretty much all of them means I’d have to change the structure of the sentence for each type. It’s not a simple swap.”

“Then do it.”

“Excuse me?” You lift your eyebrows in disbelief.

He shrugs. “Your results could be due to any of the things you’ve talked about. Or they could be due to this form being preferred with different case markers in different situations. You could be getting low acceptability because of the case, rather than what you’re interested in.”  

You just stare. “That’s, like, four dissertations, Akaashi.”

His eyes have flattened out again. “Then maybe you should have done it right the first time.”

“ Okay ,” your advisor says, clapping his hands. “Hour’s up. Let’s thank Keiji and Y/n for their time.”

Your eyes stay locked on Akaashi’s while the room clears out, both knowing that you’re not allowed to go anywhere. You get a couple ‘ good job ’s from the people leaving, but you can’t bring yourself to break eye contact first. In fact, it only serves to irritate you more – why is it only you that gets those reassuring comments? Why don’t people tell Akaashi that he’s doing well? Do they think you need it? Does everyone think you need it more than he does?

“Alright,” your advisor breathes, shutting the door again and turning toward you. “Oh-Come on, you two.”

You break first, dipping your head and turning to unplug your laptop from the TV. 

“That was good, both of you.” Your advisor cuts a glance at Akaashi as he sits. “A little harsh there, but-”

“Sorry,” He mumbles, immediately deferent. But you know he’s not apologizing to you, and that makes you finally roll your eyes.

“Okay, okay,” your advisor laughs, taking his coffee and sipping at it. “Let’s just finish this up so I can get away from all this hostility.”

The meeting ends quickly, the three of you just summarizing thoughts and future steps for each of your projects. Akaashi purses his lips when you speak about your plans, but he doesn’t push at you any further. 

Finally, you’re able to leave, so you gather your things quickly and bolt for the door. Unfortunately, your office is directly across from Akaashi’s, so the walk down the hall is spent with him on your heels.

“It’s not four dissertations, by the way,” he says as soon as your advisor’s out of earshot. “Just redesign your materials to include the case alternations, and you’ll get something interesting.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head, not stopping your march down the hall. “I’ve already designed the eye-tracking materials, Akaashi. It’ll take me weeks to redo them for case.”

“Then take the weeks ,” he argues, just as you’re both arriving to your respective doors. “Do you want to do it fast, or do you want to do it right?”

You whirl on him, your anger unfiltered now that you’re alone. “What would you know? You’ve never done the kind of research I have to do. You don’t know anything about psycholinguistics – you don’t know what goes into something like this. You just sit in your world of theory, without ever thinking about the practical applications. You might be right about everything all the time, Akaashi, but I’m the one who has to take those theories and do something with them.” 

He stares back emptily while you rant, and then he leans in close, his eyebrows lifting as his voice drops. “Are you really going to be okay not including the case alternations? Now that I’ve brought it up?” When you only sigh heatedly through your nose, glaring up at him, he shakes his head. “No. You’re not.” Then he turns to his office door, slotting the key in the lock while mumbling to you. “You’re a lot of things, Y/n, but you’re not lazy.”

You stare at his office door long after it’s been shut.

You really hate Akaashi Keiji.

–

“I dunno, Kou, I’m not sure what to do,” you sigh, running a finger along the rim of your coffee cup. It’s the same from earlier, because you don’t have the money to buy another and because drinking it slowly helps to stave off your hunger. You’d been too rushed for lunch before leaving home, but you know dinner’s only four hours away. You can last until then.

“Well-” Bokuto talks through a mouth full of food. “-is it gonna bug you to not do it?”

“ Yes ,” you admit a little grumpily. “Of course it is. But I don’t have the time – I wanted to have pilot data for the experiment by the end of October.”

“What would happen if you pushed it back a few weeks?” He asks loudly, spooning more food into his mouth before he’s even done eating the first mouthful.

“I don’t know. It would just push my whole timeline back, and I’d graduate later than expected, and I’m already losing my mind. I need a job , Kou – I can’t live on grad student wages much longer.”

“Yeah, I feel you,” he nods, pulling more food out of his backpack. “But at least you’re still splitting that nice apartment with your roommate! $500 a month is so nice.”

You stare down at your lukewarm coffee.

You haven’t exactly mentioned to him or your other friends that your roommate had moved out. She hadn’t left for anything negative – in fact, she’s a good friend of yours. The two of you had posted in the graduate students’ forum over the summer before your first year, each requesting roommates, and you’d paired up nicely. Your personalities had gone together well, and you’d stayed roommates the entirety of grad school. But she’d had to go home suddenly, which was fine for her because she’s finishing up her dissertation and doesn’t need to be on campus.

However, that does leave you without a roommate in the middle of the semester. There’s a fee for you to break your lease early, and it would overall be way more expensive for you to move out, especially in the middle of October. But paying over $1000 on your own, with your limited salary, is extremely difficult.

You’d looked for another roommate, but there aren’t any grad students without housing this late in the year – the only people you’d seen posting on the university Facebook page about housing had been undergrads, and you’re certainly not comfortable with that. So, you’d looked for extra jobs, but your student contract only allows you to be employed a certain amount, and you’d already reached the maximum. Your advisor had told you as much, shaking his head regretfully when you’d all but begged for extra hours in his lab. You’d even tried finding jobs outside of the university, but most of them had asked for a consistent work schedule and more hours than you can afford to give. 

Which might be why you’d decided to turn to making adult content online.

You’re not particularly attached to the idea of being a porn star, but you’d seen a video online talking about the amount of money that adult content creators can make even from a single video, and you’d made an account without giving yourself time to think about it. You’d taken all the necessary precautions – things like always editing out your face and the singular tattoo you have on the inside of your ankle, or never displaying your background in a way that would be recognizable to someone who knows you. You really don’t need anyone finding out about this, especially not your friends.

You’re not sure that Kuroo would really care – the chemistry student’s nosy, sure, but he’s a big proponent of leaving people to their lives. And you know that Bokuto would probably find it interesting, but he’s got an objectively big mouth and little social control, so it would be a risk to tell him. The only person you’re really worried will find out is Yachi – your closest friend, that sweet girl wouldn’t be likely to judge, but she certainly wouldn’t understand. She’d ask a lot of questions – ‘ why would you do something like that?’; ‘well, are you sure there aren’t other options?’; ‘i would rather move out if i were you’ . Yachi’s had a very straightforward way of thinking ever since you met her, and she’d be the most likely to tell you that pursuing this line of work is drastic and unnecessary. You’re not sure you’re emotionally strong enough to deal with that.

Especially since your new occupation isn’t exactly going well . You’ve only been at it a few weeks, and you’ve garnered a decent number of subscribers on your platform – 897, to be exact (you check every day; you’re desperate). But, in the month since your roommate’s left, you’ve hardly made $300, and, while $300 of extra income per month is certainly not insignificant, it’s not enough to pay your rent.

Which is why you’re sitting here now, lunchless and sipping pitifully at cold coffee. But at least you’re in good company, Bokuto’s presence always a weight off your shoulders.

“Hi, Bokuto.”

Here comes the weight, right back on your shoulders.

You look up from your cup, meeting Akaashi’s eyes. He scans you quickly but doesn’t greet you, only setting his lunch tray down on the table and taking the seat beside Bokuto. The silver-haired man looks between you with wide eyes.

“Aw, man! Did you guys fight at your reading group?!” He rubs at his stomach. “Don’t fight now, too. It’ll make my tummy hurt.”

You laugh weakly, turning away and surveying the crowded dining hall. “Of course not, Kou. You’re neutral ground.”

“What she said,” Akaashi says, carefully mixing his food with his chopsticks. He cuts a glance at your coffee cup. “Is that the same one from this morning?” He glances at the time on his phone. It’s already past 2:30.

You’re instantly defensive. “Yeah.”

He hears the edge in your tone, shaking his head with a breath of laughter while pulling noodles into his mouth. He chews and swallows before responding, ever the gentleman. “Didn’t bring lunch?”

“Forgot it at home.”

He points at the buffet line at the back of the dining hall. “Then buy something.”

“Trying to save money,” you say. You watch his eyebrows pull together in confusion, and you know why – the dining hall’s extremely cheap, usually only $8 or $9 for a fair lunch. The issue is that you don’t have $8 or $9. You don’t have rent money, so you don’t have lunch money.

Thankfully, though, he doesn’t say anything else about it, and you’re briefly appreciative that he’s respectful of your financial situation. You’re also appreciative that he doesn’t tip Bokuto off about it. The large man is tapping away on his phone while he chews loudly, so he’d barely heard the questions Akaashi had asked you. He looks up at the silence now, glancing between you. 

“What’d I miss?”

“Nothing. We were fighting,” Akaashi says. Today’s turning, shockingly, into a day of appreciating Akaashi Keiji.

“ No, ” Bokuto whines. “No fighting.”

A body slides into the spot beside yours, and another into the spot beside Akaashi.

“They fighting?” Kuroo asks, organizing his food on his tray. Tsukishima snorts across the table, mumbling ‘ aren’t they always? ’ quietly.

“We’re fine,” you laugh. “Trying not to make Kou’s tummy hurt.”

“Fair enough,” Kuroo says as he’s lifting a bite of food to his mouth. He stops, though, staring down at your cup. “Your tummy hurts, too, I guess.”

“I guess so,” you say, smiling and sipping at the now-gross coffee. He doesn’t say anything about it, only turning to ask Tsukishima about some ongoing drama in the history department. But he does slide his tray between the two of you while he talks, shoving his chopsticks into your hand and then leaning casually over to keep chatting to the blond, as though he’s merely asking you to hold them while he talks. You purse your lips, embarrassment warming your ears, but you pick at his tray anyway – just a bit of rice and a thin cut of spam balanced on his spoon. You take two bites and then slide the tray back, muttering ‘ thanks ’ under your breath.

You feel Akaashi’s eyes on you, but you refuse to meet them. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket, and you pull it into your lap.

[2:47 PM] New Comment on Your Video

Your eyes widen, and you lower the brightness and turn your back slightly to Kuroo. 

user6969 : pretty hot, would be hotter with someone fucking her tho

It already has ten likes. Your eye twitches, and you clear the notification quickly. You could never film with another person. You can’t . That defeats the whole purpose of keeping this anonymous. 

But what if that’s the thing keeping you from making money? From paying rent? At this point, would you rather bring someone else into this, or would you rather eat the cost of moving out?

But you can’t move. With breaking the lease and having to sign a new one – moving fees not included – you already don’t have enough money. There’s no way to get approved for a new place with such little money in your bank account. 

Should you sell feet pics? No, you can’t switch platforms or content at this point. You’d be starting from nothing in that case, and it’s no guarantee you’d do well there. Not that you’re really doing well with your current account, either.

Are you going to have to find a partner to film with?

“ Y/n .”

You jump, looking up. Akaashi’s staring back, standing behind Bokuto with his eyebrows raised and his tray in his hand. He looks a little annoyed.

“I’ve been calling your name.”

You blink. “Sorry. What is it?”

He lifts his brows impossibly further. “We have to go.”

You start, checking the time again. It’s 2:52. You have to go to the undergraduate class you’re TAing with him. “Oh, shit,” you mutter, standing with your bag. “We’re gonna be late.” You wave a cursory goodbye at the others, rushing to toss your coffee in the trash. 

You chase after Akaashi, cursing his long legs, and follow him across the quad to the lecture hall. You both slide past the doors just as your advisor’s clearing his throat to get the class’s attention. 

“ Now that our distinguished TAs have arrived, we can get started… ” he says into the microphone connected to the podium.

You follow Akaashi up the steps to the top row, managing to control the urge to roll your eyes at the number of undergrad girls watching longingly as Akaashi passes by. You sit with him in the back corner, huffing quietly and then hugging your bag to your stomach, because a low gurgle of hunger is creeping out. Akaashi snorts quietly, and you glare sideways at him. But he just reaches down into his bag, extracting a granola bar and offering it to you, his eyes still on the whiteboard at the front.

You grimace. “ I’m good, thanks, ” you whisper.

“ It’s going to annoy me, ” he says, jabbing the bar at you. You take it with a soft sigh, mumbling ‘ thanks ’ to him while you try to unwrap the plastic without being loud. You eat it quietly, deciding that it’s the least he can do for torturing you during LEM. And then you stuff the empty plastic in your bag before extracting your laptop, intending to take notes on your advisor’s lecture.

The screen is bright and noticeable when it opens to your most recently opened tab – thankfully not your porn account, which you’re always mindful to close before leaving home. But it is open to your bank’s website, still signed in and clearly displaying the meager $562.95 in your checking account.

You jump, rushing to lower the screen brightness and close out of the tab at the same time, and then you cut a glance at Akaashi. He’s not looking directly at your screen, but he’s certainly not looking at the whiteboard anymore. His eyes hover suspiciously in the space between your laptop and his, and he meets your eyes quickly before looking away when he realizes you’re watching him.

“ Sorry, ” he mumbles. “ Brightness caught my eye. ” 

“ Don’t say anything ,” is all you say. All that you’re willing to plead with him. He just lifts a brow and nods, saying nothing else as he refocuses his attention on the lecture. You sigh, pushing two frustrated fingers against your temple, because now Akaashi Keiji knows you’re broke and living way too far above your means.

–

You sit on your couch four days later, scrolling aimlessly through Tinder. You grimace as you swipe, unable to bring yourself to approve of any of the guys you’re seeing. There are obviously some good-looking ones, and even some extremely attractive ones, but every time you start to swipe right, you hesitate.

How crazy are you going to look, matching on a dating app with someone, only to ask them if they’d be willing to be your faceless porn partner?

You groan, throwing your phone down. You can’t believe you’ve even gotten to this point. Just this week, you’d sworn you would keep running your account alone. You’d sworn you wouldn’t let anyone else get involved with this, for your pride and for your anonymity.

That’s another reason you’re so unwilling to match with someone on Tinder. What if he ends up being a total weirdo? What if he leaks your name online or talks about you to his friends? Or-

Oh, God, what if he lies about his age and ends up being an undergrad? Even worse – an undergrad in your department ?

“ Ugh- ” You shudder, picking your phone back up. “No. No fucking way.” You quickly delete your account and the app, shaking your head. It’s too much of a risk, and you’re not even sure you could ever trust someone you don’t know to help you with something so private and sensitive.

Do I really have to find a partner?  

You pull your laptop from the table and open it, logging into your porn account and scrolling through the videos. You’d stuck to the same posting schedule since you’d started, maintaining consistency and posting every day over the last four weeks. It had definitely helped with your views, because the subscribers you do have know when to expect a new video. But, even this week alone, your view count has become stagnant and – in the case of the video you’d posted today – even gone down a few thousand hits.

You check the section for monetization, seeing you’d made an extra $16 dollars in the last four days. $16 dollars in four days. You might as well start selling your couch.

But if you can’t find a partner amongst the hundreds of men you don’t know, then it has to be someone you do know.

“Kuroo,” you sigh, leaning your head back against the couch. And then you shake your head. He’s the best choice – he’s private and minds his business. He would never be a risk for outting you. He’s also extremely attractive, and you have decent chemistry. But he’s also one of your closest friends, and you’re not even willing to tell him you do this for a living, for fear of something changing between you. You could never ask him to help you.

“Bokuto,” you move on, bobbing your head back and forth. He’s definitely the least likely to let anything change between you – he’d find it interesting, and he would never judge you. He’d also be more than willing to help, especially since this is for the purpose of paying your bills and not just something you do for fun on the side. He’s incredibly kind and motivated in that way… but still, it isn’t right. 

Not only does it feel a bit weird to imagine having sex with him, even for business, but it also wouldn’t be long before he accidentally lets something slip to someone. It would be unintentional, of course, but Bokuto Koutarou isn’t exactly known for his subtlety. Not to mention that you need someone who can’t be recognized on camera, even faceless, and Bokuto’s presence is so overwhelming that it would take no time at all for someone who knows him to pinpoint exactly who it is.

You shake your head, going through the mental list of every guy you’ve ever interacted with. You don’t really know Tsukishima, despite eating lunch with him most days and seeing him at almost every function, and you get the feeling he would laugh in your face if you ask. You think of guys you’d known in college and even some guys you’d met at the events that your friends have invited you to. You even pick up your phone and start scrolling through your contacts, really stretching the limits of your imagination.

None of them work.

“ Fuck ,” you groan, scrubbing at your brow. This isn’t going to work.

Your phone buzzes with a text, the message sliding into view before disappearing.

[9:48 PM]

Akaashi: i printed copies of the handout for discussion on monday

Akaashi: putting them in my mailbox so you can grab them before class

Akaashi: youll print the exams next week, right?

You stare at the messages as they come in.

Akaashi . 

His name drifts like a whisper through your mind, and you have to throw your phone on the table and stand, your eyes wide.

“No. No,” you say, rounding the couch and pacing behind it. “No, no, no.”

Not him. Anyone but him. You can barely stand him, and the idea of him knowing what you do to make rent is unfathomable. You can’t trust him with something like that-

But, he is trustworthy. He’d shown himself not even a week ago to be sensitive to your personal information and financial situation. He makes judgment calls that benefit you, even though he could be doing everything in his power to make your life hell. As annoying as he is – as rude as he can be, especially to you – he’s a decent human being. He’s private, he’s subtle, he’s quiet and keeps to himself, and-

And he’s average. A very good-looking man, yes, but overall a perfectly normal, average guy that would never be recognized.

“ No! ” You groan, starting to pace harder. “ No, no, no! ”

Your phone starts to ring on the table. You jump, staring at the screen.

You can see his name even from here. 

You approach it carefully, hands shaking as you reach for it. 

“H-Hello?”

“ Y/n, ” he says, his voice quiet but firm.

“Uh-” You laugh weakly. “Hi. What’s… up?”

“ I’m just checking you got my texts. I’m leaving the department now. ”

“You stayed there until 10 on a Saturday?”

“ I lost track of time. You got my texts, then? ”

“Yes,” you sigh. “Yeah, I got them. Thanks for printing.”

“ And you’ll-”

“Yep. I got the exams.”

There’s silence on the other end, followed by the quiet jingle of his office keys. “ Are you… You sound.. not great. Nervous. ”

It’s mortifying that he can hear that it in your voice. Why can he hear that in your voice?

“No, I’m good. Just-just busy. Stressed.”

“ Oh. Okay, then. ” He pauses a moment, and you wonder if he’s giving you time to say more. You don’t. Finally, he clears his throat. “‘ Kay. Bye. ” He hangs up before you can repeat it back to him.

A perfectly average, decent human being who’s private, subtle, quiet, and keeps to himself.

The only issue is that you hate each other.

Great.

–

You pace in front of his office door two days later, biting your nails while you think. Anxiety swoops low in your gut, over and over again while you imagine talking to him. Swelling and heaving when you imagine the look on his face, inevitably judgmental and maybe a little amused that you’d even thought to approach him.

God, you can’t do this.

“No,” you mumble, turning back toward your own door. You’ll find someone else.

The door opens behind you, and you jump, spinning around. Akaashi stares at you in exasperation, his glasses askew and his hair ruffled like he’s been pulling his fingers through it.

“Are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand outside all day?”

“Uh,” you stammer, shaking your head. “Uh, no. No, I didn’t-I don’t have anything-”

“Y/n,” he sighs. “You’ve been pacing out here for ten minutes. I’ve been watching your feet go back and forth in front of my door this whole time. It’s really fucking distracting – I’m trying to work.”

Your eyes go wide, because you’re not sure you’ve ever heard Akaashi swear before. He opens the door wider, beckoning you in with an impatient sweep of his arm. You find yourself stepping past the threshold, wringing your hands as you stand in the middle of the little room. He leaves the door cracked, slipping past you carefully and returning to his desk.

“What is it?” He sits and starts sorting through his papers, attention only partially on you. “Something about LING 303? I graded my section’s assignments already – do you need the answer key?”

You swallow, still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. “No, I… I have an answer key, too.”

“Then?”

A large part of you wants to leave. He’s in a bad mood, and he’s clearly busy. You’re not sure this is the best time to bring up something this sensitive with him. But then again – when would you ever find the best time to talk to Akaashi Keiji about your secret porn account?

So, with a shaky breath, you return to the door, pushing it closed quietly and locking it.

“Uhm,” you start, turning slowly on the spot and facing him. “Can we talk?”

He’s got his eyes, wary now, on the doorknob where your hand rests, your thumb still over the lock that’s been pushed in. He blicks and flicks his gaze to yours, eyes narrowing when he sees the discomfort in your expression. 

“O…kay?” He sets his papers down and leans back in his seat, his attention yours now. “...What’s up?”

You make your way to the chair in front of his desk and perch in it uncertainly. “Okay. Is it okay if I say everything before you talk?” He just tilts his head, watching you intensely, and then he nods once. Whatever had been on his mind before is clearly gone, and you silently hope it hadn’t been some groundbreaking idea that you’ve just interrupted.

“So,” you start, heaving out a nervous sigh. “You saw my bank account the other day. Last week.” He nods again, and you rush into the speech you’d practiced all morning, not wanting him to think you’re just here to ask for money. That might be easier, honestly. But your courage might never come again, so you need to barrel through this now. “It’s been that way for about a month now. I live in a 2-bedroom apartment, and – when I had a roommate-” He squints now, because he’s certainly heard Bokuto talk about your roommate as though she still exists. “-my rent was only $500 a month.”

He opens his mouth to speak, thoughts very obviously swirling in that overactive brain of his, but he shuts it again, remembering he’d promised you silence. He nods, and you nod back.

“She moved out a month ago for personal reasons, and if I break the lease and move out, too, it would cost more than just continuing to live there on my own. And-” You throw your hands around while you talk, ramping up in intensity now that you’ve gotten started. “-I know that in the long run, it’s more cost-effective to eat the move-out fees and the cost of moving, but you saw my bank account. I don’t have any way of doing that right now.”

“You need a roommate,” is what he says, unable to stop himself. You sigh, shaking your head.

“I tried. The only people searching for housing this late in the semester are undergrads.” He grimaces, and you nod. “So that’s not an option.” You sigh again, trying to remember what to say next. “Uh-Oh, right-So-” You wring your hands in your lap. “My rent’s over $1000, and I obviously don’t have that. And I’ve tried looking for extra jobs and for extra hours around the department, but I’m at max hours, and there are no part-time jobs that are flexible with my research and teaching schedule.”

You sigh shakily, staring out the window behind his head. You stay that way for a minute, gathering your courage. Akaashi watches you carefully, tracking the slight changes in your expression and the defeat that crosses your face.

“Y/n?” he asks, his voice soft now, in that way that he speaks to everyone who’s not you.

“Sorry,” you laugh. “Nervous.” You clear your throat and ground yourself, looking him straight in the eye. “So, I had to turn to some… desperate measures.” His eyebrows lift with interest, and you think you see him lean in almost imperceptibly. “I… decided to start making… content -”

You watch understanding cross his face immediately – of course it does, he’s not the Golden Boy for nothing. His eyes go wide, and he inhales quietly, leaning back in his chair and letting out a long, drawn out breath that ends in a quiet ‘ oh, boy ’. You stop talking, just watching him nervously. He stares back a moment, his mouth opening and closing with thoughts unsaid as he considers how to respond.

“And it was your only option?”

“Probably not,” you laugh. The sound is watery, and your eyes are starting to sting. “But I couldn’t think of anything else at the time, and I haven’t figured out anything better since – anything short of asking someone for a $500 loan.”

“Okay,” he says simply. You meet his eyes, searching for judgment or thinly veiled disgust, or anything . But he just looks back at you, his face devoid of everything but concentration as he thinks. “So, why are you telling me this?”

You break eye contact, staring down at your lap. You’re sweating profusely, your stomach doing that terrible flipping. “It’s… not exactly going well .”

Silence, and then-

“Define ‘ not going well ’.”

You flick your eyes to meet his briefly, seeing that he’s staring at you with an intensity you’ve never seen before. When you make eye contact, he takes a breath.

“Y/n-”

“Someone-” You swallow. “I’ve only made $300 in the last four weeks, and my roommate helped me pay the October 1st rent because she felt bad for moving out so suddenly. I’m clearly desperate, Akaashi, because I’m not making the kind of money I need to be making, but there’s nothing else. And someone commented on a video that-” You break, rubbing at your brow and breathing hard. God, this is so difficult. You don’t know how to say it to him.

“You need a partner.”

You suck in a breath, your own watery, stinging eyes meeting his. He’s breathing a little harder now, and his expression’s not as guarded as it usually is. He’s tapping a finger nervously on his desk and blinking a lot.

“Why me?”

You fumble for an answer. “Uhm-Because-”

“Why not Kuroo?” He asks, his voice calm despite the increased tapping on his desk.

“‘m not sure our friendship would survive it. I care too much about him.”

He nods, clearly not offended by the implication that you’re willing to risk things with him . He’s not your friend and he knows that. The relationship between the two of you is delicate and tense, but it’s never entered the realm of care. Professional respect at most, outright hatred at worst. There’s nothing to risk by asking Akaashi Keiji to help, aside from the risk that he’ll make you feel bad or even that he’ll tell someone else. And it must mean something that you’re trusting him not to do those things.

“Bokuto?” he asks, jumping through all the same mental hoops that you had.

“There’s a million reasons it can’t be him,” you say, sighing tiredly. He narrows his eyes at you in suspicion, but he doesn’t push it. He just shakes his head slowly.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this with someone in the same department.” He considers something else, rolling his eyes slightly. “ And we have the same advisor. It’s too close. If something goes wrong…” He shakes his head again. “I don’t know, Y/n.”

“Right,” you say emptily. You’re already recalculating how often you can film and post solo content without losing too much sleep, the thought of selling feet pics popping up again. Anything to keep your mind off of the fact that talking to Akaashi had been a mistake – a waste of his time, and an exposure of yourself that had amounted to nothing. 

This had amounted to nothing, baring this piece of your life to him. How humiliating.

“Y/n,” he says gently. You don’t meet his eyes, just patting your pockets for your office keys.

“Okay, well – thanks for your time-”

“I won’t say anything, Y/n,” he tries. “About any of it. I promise.”

“Thanks,” you laugh. “Yeah, I would appreciate that. Sorry for wasting your time.” You stand quickly, spinning to the door.

“Y/n- Y/n- ” 

The sound of your name is muffled as you yank the door open and slam it closed behind you. You hear him sigh on the other side, a quiet ‘ fuck’ uttered in the stifling silence. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you plead for it to be Bokuto or Kuroo or Yachi.

Shockingly, it’s all three, sent to your group chat.

[2:26 PM]

Kou: LUNCH? TEN MINUTES?

Tetsu: bo we eat lunch at THE SAME TIME EVERY SINGLE DAY

Kou: IM JUST CHECKING, FUCK

Hitoka: i like that he reminds us, hehe

Kou: yeah, see??? Yachi’s forgetful!!!

Hitoka: hey now.

Kou: oops-

A small smile tugs at your lips as you drift down the hall to the grad student lounge to get your lunch. But, as you’re typing out that you’ll be down soon, another text comes in.

Akaashi: y/n i wont say anything

Akaashi: i swear

Your face burns with embarrassment. It’s damage control, plain and simple, and the fact that he feels the need to do that at all makes this whole situation worse. You can’t bring yourself to open the text or say anything else to him. It’s humiliating, knowing that Akaashi Keiji knows what you do for money now. That you’re not even good enough at it to make rent.

Akaashi doesn’t make it to lunch that day. You try your best to shrug uncaringly when Bokuto wonders aloud why he’s not there.

–

Keiji has never known what to make of you.

From the moment he’d met you – at the department orientation five years ago – he’d found you interesting, and not always necessarily in a good way. When you’d rattled off that list of research interests during your self-introduction, the one that had been unrealistically high-reaching and ambitious, he’d written you off as naive. When you’d made friends easily, your smile bright and your laugh loud and grating against his ears, he’d written you off as annoying.

And then you’d gone ahead and proven that that list wasn’t as high-reaching as he’d thought. Or maybe it was, and you’d just had a touch of insanity in your blood. You’d proven that you aren’t just ambitious – you’re successful. You’re smart – brilliant, even. And Keiji had found you interesting again, because he could never tell if you’d realized it. He still can’t.

You carry an intensity in your shoulders and eyes that he’s always caught off guard to see. You question the work of your peers with the kind of brutal honesty that should make you unpopular. It should make people hate you, the way you pick apart their ideas and results. But they never do. They never hate you, and he kind of hates that. 

Maybe it’s because you always seem so eager to learn. You don’t criticize when you question – you just question . You don’t tear anyone down – in fact, your questions only seem to build people up, to the point that you’re often stopped in the halls and asked for your opinion on methodological choices and theoretical connections. People seek you out, and you’re all too happy to help.

But with your own work, you’re suddenly unsure. Keiji bristles when he sees it, that uncertain tilt of your head when you talk. It’s almost impossible to notice, and he’s sure that, to everyone else, you’re just being humble, or a nervous public speaker, even. You’re knowledgeable about your work, you seem confident when you answer questions, and you accept criticism with grace, taking notes diligently when points come up that you hadn’t thought of.

But he sees it – that uncertainty in your own ability. And it pisses him off.

You are annoying, he’d decided after the first time he’d noticed that hesitant nature. It annoys him, because you work just as hard as he does – you’re just as smart as he is – and you can’t seem to see it. Or is it a ploy? Is it an act, a performative relatability that only he can see? 

You piss him off.

How can both of you be so brilliant, but you seem so much more likeable? How can people call him the Golden Boy and then be too afraid to approach him? You’re the Golden Girl, for fuck’s sake. Can’t they see it? Why are you so easy for people to talk to? Why do people tell you ‘ good job’ when you give presentations, and he’s never gotten so much as a pat on the shoulder? Why do people like you so much , and all he gets is polite smiles and nervous expressions? Why does his name float around the department in reverence, but it’s your name that people say when they want to get a second pair of eyes on their proposals, their chapters?

And why , for all that is good in the world, do you not realize it ?

That’s why he targets you. It’s like an itch he can’t reach — he just can’t help himself. He doesn’t offer you meaningless platitudes or careful language when he gives you feedback, because it’s not your favor he wants. What he wants is to push you. He wants to push you to your limit – bully you to it, if he has to. 

Because it’s your research that’s born of brilliance, the kind of brilliance that makes goosebumps rise on his skin. The kind that makes his spine straighten and his gut wrench with excitement. It’s your research – your mind – that he’s drawn to. He wants to see you succeed, because he wholeheartedly believes that you could change the field.

But you don’t see that. No one seems to see that, except him and, undoubtedly, your advisor. So, when he pushes you, he know it looks like a personal attack. He knows it looks to you like he dislikes you for no apparent reason, because you’re just trying your best and he’s the department genius that thinks you’re beneath him. He knows how it looks, and he makes not a single move to fix it – because he’s seen, more than once, how what you think he is and what you think he’s doing has moved you to do revolutionary things.

He’s seen you do remarkable things with just a little bit of hatred. 

So he keeps it up, because maybe he hates you just a little bit, too. Maybe his own work is as unquestionable as it is because he’s secretly begging you to question it, begging you to give him that focused look and that critical eye that always makes his breath hitch. But you never give him what he wants, so he doesn’t either. He doesn’t give you the softspoken voice or the gentle, polite demeanor that he gives everyone else, even though he can see you yearning for it. He won’t give you that, not until you realize what you are – a genius, just the same as him.

When you come to him on October 16th, opening your life to him in ways he hadn’t expected, he means every word he says to you. It shouldn’t be him – it would get messy, the two of you having sex. He knows you had to have thought this through already, that you would never have approached him unless he was the absolute last option available, but he can’t bring himself to say yes to you. He knows you need the money, and there’s a non-insignificant part of him that actually wants to say yes. That wants to help you, because, despite how he feels about you, he can recognize the severity of the situation. Of the look in your eye, desperate and scared.

But he can’t bring himself to do it, because he knows that this intricately built web of hate and respect that you’ve built together is incredibly fragile. That whatever you two have – whatever this thing is that can’t be called friendship or anything close to it – would collapse and change. Keiji doesn’t like change. 

So he watches, over the course of October 17th, 18th, and 19th, as you become more desperate. 

He catches you dissociating more than once during your shared reading group meetings, and you don’t even pull your laptop out during the syntax class you TA together. You avoid his eyes for the duration of the 17th, but you seem to forget about him entirely the rest of the days, your gaze distant and stressed. You check your phone more than once during class, and he doesn’t dare look, because he’s certain you’re looking at your porn account for views and comments.

He catches you chasing after your advisor after group meetings, and he realizes quickly that the man’s aware of your financial situation, because he only shrugs regretfully and leaves you in the hall, staring down at nothing. He catches you turning down Bokuto’s lunchtime offer to hit up a bar on the evening of the 18th, and then he glances into your office the morning of the 19th – you’re staring blankly at the journal article on your desk, not reading a single word, and Keiji begins to understand how this might impact your research.

He confirms it that afternoon, a cloudy Thursday just before lunch. He’s passing his advisor’s office on the way to the grad student lounge, a can of iced coffee waiting with his name on it – but he stops short when he hears your voice inside.

“ ...have to find another job, ” you say, your voice clearly stressed. “ There’s no way to get an advance on next month’s paycheck from the department? ”

The old man sighs loudly. “ I’ll see what I can do, but you know these things don’t usually work like that. And they take time. I think another job’s the only option at the moment. ”

“ Okay, ” you say. “ In that case, I’m not sure what to do about my research- ”

Keiji inhales sharply, pressing his ear to the door. You’re not postponing your experiment, are you? You can’t. He knows he told you to push it as much as necessary for the case marking issues, but he hadn’t meant for it to be like this . 

“ Take some time to focus on your personal situation ,” your advisor says. “ Find a part-time job with stable hours, and we’ll work your research around it. It might double the time needed- ”

Double?!

Keiji’s starts to shake his head. No, that’s not possible. You can’t.

“ Fuck ,” he whispers, stomping off down the hall, his coffee entirely forgotten. God, is this really going to be the thing that brings you down? Is it really going to be this ? 

He barrels into his office and starts to pace the length of it. He thinks through your situation in extreme detail, rubbing at his brow and sighing in frustration every time he has to turn and pace the other way down his office. 

Obviously, you’ve thought through every option, but he runs through them anyway, if only to confirm for himself that you really are left with no option except finding a job and delaying the progress of your research.

Well, there’s one option.

One option that wouldn’t require you to put your energy toward applying for jobs and training for some side gig you have no interest in. One option that doesn’t require you to lose sleep or miss class or drop out of optional reading groups due to having to work somewhere across town. One option that would probably get you immediate payout, which he knows is the reason you started in the first place.

He looks at the little flip calendar on his desk. October 19th. 12 days until your rent is due. How long would it take you to apply for jobs? Would they let you start right away? When would you get your first paycheck?

Is finding a part-time job even a solution anymore?

“ Fuck! ” He throws himself down in his chair. There’s a very large part of him – the majority, even  – that’s concerned about your research progress. It’s unwarranted, his dedication to work that’s not his own. But it’s not even about that – it’s the fact that he knows how this will tear at you. How it will eat you alive, not being able to work on your research. How agonizing it’ll be, seeing the rest of your cohort progress while you struggle to pay rent. Because you think like he thinks, whether you’d like to admit it or not.

Maybe that’s the smaller part of him, too. The part that wants to help you because it’s you . Because, as much as he dislikes and even hates you at times, he wants to fix this for you. He wants things to be okay for you, because you’re a person with a life – a person in his life – and you don’t deserve the kind of torment you’re currently experiencing. He doesn’t want to see you crushed by the stress.

Not when there’s something he can do about it.

–

Akaashi texts you that night.

You sit, hunched, at your dining table, frantically fixing your resumé and sending it off to different cafes, restaurants, and bars all over Tokyo. You’ve been applying all week – two places have already rejected you, saying they’re only hiring full-time workers, and one place has scheduled an interview with you, but it’s over a week away.

You’re staring intensely at your laptop, pushing down the continuous sense of dread by finding more and more places to apply. You barely notice when your phone buzzes next to you, and you pick it up without looking, thinking it’ll be one of your friends sending a meme to the group chat.

[7:59 PM]

Akaashi: i’ll do it.

You stare down at your phone, unseeing. Your ears start to buzz, and your vision goes blurry for a moment.

He’ll do it? He’ll-

You press call before you can think of anything. He picks up on the first ring.

“ Hello? ”

“You’ll do it?” Your eyes focus in on a scuff on your hardwood floors, latching onto it so you don’t have to look at anything else. “Really?”

“ Yeah. I’ll do it. ”

“Why?”

There’s a moment of silence on the other end, and you eyebrows scrunch the longer it stretches on.

“ I could use a bit of extra money, too. Once you’re done paying rent. ”

It’s insultingly easy to spot that that’s bullshit, but you don’t press it. You can’t risk pressing this. Not when your solution – this miracle – is finally within reach.

“What about the other stuff?”

“ We’ll figure it out. I can draft up a contract and bring it by tomorrow, if that works for you. ”

“A contract?” You want to roll your eyes, because that’s incredibly Akaashi Keiji , but you also recognize that you hadn’t thought of that.

“ Are you in or not? ”

There’s no way in hell you’re passing this up.

“Yes-Sorry, I’m just… surprised. But, yes.”

“ Alright. Tomorrow afternoon? ”

“I’m free after 2.”

“ I’ll be there at 2:30. Send me your address. ”

“O…kay. Okay.”

You hear him swallow and shift on the other end, and then he mumbles, “ Okay. See you tomorrow. ”

You’re left with the dial tone, that scuff in the hardwood burned into your mind when you blink.

“Okay,” you say to no one.

The conversation had lasted 55 seconds.

–

He shows up at 2:29 on Friday, rapping three quick knocks on your door and scaring the shit out of you as you pace the living room nervously. You rush to get it, fixing your hair and clothes as you go and giving the room a cursory glance. You’re suddenly so nervous to exist in front of him, feeling your appearance and the cleanliness of your home under scrutiny even though he hasn’t seen either yet.

You pull the front door open, dragging your eyes up to meet his. He’s wearing a pair of black slacks and a tucked-in white button-down, the collar peeking through the top of the black sweater vest he’d fitted over it. His glasses, black and settled comfortably on the bridge of his nose, glint in the light and block you from seeing the look in his eye when you appear in front of him. And then he shifts his weight, and you see those deep blue eyes staring right into yours.

Akaashi adjusts his backpack on his shoulder. “Hi.”

You swallow hard. “Uh. Hi.” You step back quickly to let him in, and you try not to notice the subtle cologne he’s wearing when he brushes past you. Had he always worn cologne? “Thanks for coming.”

“Mhm,” he hums, slipping his sneakers off and setting them neatly to the side in your foyer. When he stands, you watch him cast his gaze across your living room and dining area, tucked into a corner by the kitchen. He steps into the living room, wandering slowly to the side of the couch while looking at the space. “I can see why you wouldn’t want to let this place go.”

High ceilings, lots of windows, and a small balcony. Hardwood floors and an open floorplan – the kitchen is visible past the island counter, two beams capping the ends of the bar to section the area off from the rest of the room. Your bedroom door is just past the couch, your roommate’s old room hidden down a narrow hallway with the bathroom. 

When you and your ex-roommate had found the place together, five years prior, rent had been cheaper and $500 hadn’t been considered a steal for a place like this. You’d managed to keep the landlord from raising the prices over the years, the two of you stellar tenants with not a single issue to note. That’s the only reason he’d let your roommate break her lease so suddenly – especially since you’d said you could take the entire thing over until you could find a new roommate.

Not that that new roommate would ever appear.

“Yeah,” you say, following Akaashi into the room and gesturing for him to sit. You move to the kitchen to get two glasses of water while he takes the corner and sets his backpack down at his feet. “I’ve made my home here. Would hate to start over, I guess.”

He looks around, eyeing all the decorations and furniture in the room. Your roommate had left you with the furniture, thankfully – this place would be barren otherwise. She’d even left her bed and the little couch in her room, reasoning that keeping the room furnished might encourage someone to move in. 

You’re not sure you’d ever tell her what you use that bed and couch for now, a conveniently placed “studio” right in your own home.

You join Akaashi on the couch, offering him the water and just nodding awkwardly when he thanks you for it. His fingers brush yours when he takes the glass, his attention still on the room, and you fight the blush that rises. There are a number of thoughts floating through your mind as you examine his fingers, but you shake your head to clear them, because technically no contracts have been signed, so you’re not allowed to think about how pretty his hands will look on camera.

“So…” you start. “What exactly did you have in mind for these contracts?”

He blinks, as though remembering why he’s here, and sets his glass down. “Right.” He rustles through his bag, extracting two sets of papers and handing one to you. “I… had to look up a template for this kind of contract-”

You snort despite yourself, because he’s blushing slightly at having to admit that he has no clue what he’s doing. He rolls his eyes but continues anyway. 

“I think it’s standard to just discuss expectations, boundaries, and-uh- preferences .” 

You flip the first page over, finding blank lines to fill in the terms of the agreement – and then a long checklist that spans about two more pages. It consists entirely of turn-ons, turn-offs, kinks (taboo or otherwise), and absolute non-negotiables. There’s another page with blank lines, the section titled ‘ Agreed Upon Consent System ’. 

You nod slowly. “You did your homework.”

“Did you forget who I am?”

You bark out a laugh, shaking your head as you look through the checklist again. “Sorry – is ‘Shibari ’ listed here because you know it, or because you expect that I might?”

He smothers a smile, but you catch the downward turn of his lips before it’s gone. “I didn’t want to make any assumptions.”

“Fair enough,” you sigh. And then you look at him. “And… you’re sure you’re okay with this?” When he just nods, meeting your eyes evenly, you watch him for a moment. “And you won’t, like, hold this over my head or something?”

His brows furrow for a moment before smoothing out. “No. Of course not.” You don’t respond, and he sighs. “I don’t benefit from hurting you, you know.”

You relax at that. You suppose that’s true – the two of you might not like each other, but it would be another level of messed up if Akaashi were to use this against you in any way..

“Okay. Sorry. I had to check.”

“Surprisingly, I’m above blackmail.”

You shake your head, wondering if he’d always been a little funny, or if this situation’s so ridiculous that you’re finding everything hilarious. “Okay, so – terms?”

He shifts his weight forward, leaning his elbows on his knee while he looks down at the first page of the contract. “I think payment’s the most important part right now.” You nod, watching as he retrieves a pen from his bag and clicks it a few times. “I was thinking… I take 20% of the cut for each video, but only when it wouldn’t prevent you from paying rent and bills?”

“How’d you decide on 20%?”

He shrugs. “I’m relatively comfortable financially, so I don’t need a large portion. And I don’t expect anything for the first few weeks, at least – not until your finances are settled.”

You watch the side of his face while he thinks – his lips pinch into a grimace and he shifts his head back and forth. He’d always been that way, from the beginning. He clicks his pen a few more times, and then he glances at you.

“Is that okay with you? I’m good for 10%, too.”

You shake your head right away. “No, of course not. 20% is completely reasonable.”

He nods, tapping his pen to the paper and writing out the agreement for payment. He sighs quietly. “Okay, next thing… What do you do for privacy?”

You take a breath. “I edit my face out of everything, and-” You stretch your foot out and lift your pant leg, displaying the small sunflower tattoo on the inside of your ankle. “-I edit that out, too.” You point down the hall. “I film in the spare bedroom, so that no one recognizes the stuff in my room. And I muffle some of the audio, so my voice isn’t easy to recognize. It would help, too, if we need to talk to each other.”

He nods, and then he starts to roll up the sleeve on his right arm. “Would it be hard to edit this out?” There’s a medium-sized tattoo on his forearm, a stretch of the moon cycles sketched in black across his skin.

“Oh, woah-” You scoot in on instinct, your fingers hovering over his milky skin. “When did you get this?”

“Last year, when I passed the Prelim.” His voice comes from over your head, quiet and low. You smile to yourself, examining the intricate line art. “I wanted to gift myself something.” You find it interesting to imagine Akaashi Keiji being nervous enough about passing the milestone between doctoral student and doctoral candidate, so much that he’d promised himself something if he were to pass.

“Pretty cool gift,” you mumble, your fingers tracing the air over his skin but never making contact. He lowers his arm, and you seem to realize only now how close you are. You meet his eyes quickly, seeing the silent amusement in his gaze, and you scoot back to your spot. “Sorry.”

He says nothing of it, just nodding down to his arm. “Can you edit it?”

You squint at the art. “I can try, but if you move your arms a lot, it might be easier to cover it with makeup. We can test it – film from the other side, lower the camera so your arm’s out of frame. That kind of thing.”

He nods, rolling his sleeve down again. You look away from his hands as he works, taking the moment instead to reflect on how business-like this conversation is. You’d expected more discomfort, given the circumstances. But you both treat it with detachment and only a few hiccups that can be recovered easily. It’s oddly easy, in a way that you can’t imagine with Bokuto or Kuroo – perhaps because of how much history you have with them, how much would be changing by entering into this kind of agreement together.

There’s nothing holding you and Akaashi together that would prevent you from doing business together in this way. It’s reassuring to realize that.

Akaashi buttons the cuff on his sleeve again and reaches for the pen, jotting down the terms of privacy. He glances at you briefly. “About who we can tell…”

Your heart jumps. “No one, preferably.”

“Right,” he says. “But if someone were to find out on accident, or if someone puts together that we’re having sex… what do we say?”

“Oh…” You tap your nails on your thigh. “Just that we’re hooking up?”

He nods. “That’s fine. I also think it’s fine if you decide to tell someone what we’re actually doing.” He cuts you short when you open your mouth to protest. “ I won’t tell anyone, because this isn’t my financial situation and this wasn’t my idea. This is your business, and I’m mindful of that. But I think it’s perfectly possible that you might end up wanting to tell someone, for whatever reason. And I think that’s your prerogative, so I don’t mind if you tell them that I’m part of it.” He takes a breath, smiling to himself when he considers something. “Uh, but – maybe don’t show them anything.”

“Oh, God, I would never,” you reassure him, shaking your head. “That’s a huge violation. And I don’t expect that I’ll want to tell anyone-”

“Still,” he argues. “It’s good to have the option. If you’re stressed or need a friend.”

“Well, what if you want to tell someone? What if you need a friend?”

His eyebrows tent in amusement, and he sighs. “How about we just agree to ask each other first? Whatever the reason.”

You take a breath. “Okay. I’m okay with that – reserving the right to say no?”

“Of course,” he says plainly, adding that to the terms.

You nod, sighing shakily. You feel an odd sense of trust with him – that he’s good for his word, because he’s, more often than not, honest to a fault.

“Anything… else?” you ask. “Before we get to the… technical parts?”

He snorts through his nose while he writes, and you’re reminded of the absurdity of the situation. “Yeah, just one more thing.” He purses his lips now, not meeting your eyes. “When was your last health visit?”

“Oh!” You blink rapidly, realizing what he’s asking. “Oh, I’m clean. I get a yearly health check, and I haven’t had sex in– I dunno, probably two or three years, so I’m good,” you ramble, laughing to yourself as you brush off his concern. Then you stop, because he’s looking at you like he’s fighting laughter himself, and you register what you’d said. That you’d just admitted to him that you haven’t gotten laid in three years . “Uh-”

He shakes his head. “Good to know. And it’s been at least a year for me, too.” He reaches into his bag, retrieving a sheet of paper. “But I brought this, in case you needed it-” He starts to hand it to you, and you piece together quickly that this is his health check. You take it, only glancing at the date to confirm that it was, in fact, done today.

“You went to the doctor today?”

He blinks. “I thought it would be best.”

You gape at him. “You didn’t have to do that. I would have believed you.” You glance around your living room. “I don’t even know where my sheet is- I went two months ago-”

“I don’t need to see it,” he says, shaking his head. “I believe you.”

“Dude! You can’t have all these weird, anti-double-standards.” You throw your hands up and hand him his health check back, and then you stand, moving to the file cabinet in the corner. “I’m finding that little fucker-”

“ Y/n ,” Akaashi laughs, and you pause, if only because you’ve never heard your name like that from him. He looks more visibly relaxed, too, now that you look at him properly. “It’s fine . If you want to find it, find it later.”

You sigh, staring him down a moment but returning to the couch nonetheless. He tries to hand you the health check again, but you brush it off with a grumble. “I don’t need your stupid health check, damn it.”

“I went through the trouble of getting it,” he argues, lifting his brows with a smug tilt of his head. You glare, snatching it from him but leaving it on the coffee table.

“What else, huh?” You bark, half-joking. “Got any other surprises for me?”

“No,” he says with a patient shake of his head, his lips tugging his smile away. “We can get to the technical part.”

You sigh, lifting your copy of the contract from the table and leafing through it. “So, I post every day on a consistent schedule. Obviously, I don’t want you to give up every evening of your week to film for the next day’s post, nor do I have the time.”

“And it would look weird – both of us becoming suddenly unavailable to see our friends every night,” he reasons, and you nod.

“Exactly. You have a life, and so do I. I usually batch all my content one night a week, and then I spend a few hours the next night editing everything and scheduling it to post.”

“You’ve really thought this through,” he comments quietly, also leafing through his contract. You warm, realizing it’s a compliment. 

“ Thanks ,” you mutter. “I’d hoped it would have yielded better results, but at least I have a consistent schedule now.” You return to your proposal. “I think filming partner content will take longer, naturally, but I don’t want us meeting every night, so how’s twice a week? Five or six hours each?”

He hums and nods right away. “Makes sense. And we can change the days every week, so we’re not both conveniently missing every single, say, Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Yeah, good point.” He writes it down, and you clear your throat. “And I don’t think we should kiss,” you suggest, your voice quiet.

“I agree.” He doesn’t think twice about it, just writing it on the next line, and relief fills you. You hadn’t been sure how to bring up to him the fact that you find kissing personal and intimate in a way that you aren’t comfortable experiencing with him. It would probably offend you if he were anyone else – the way he agrees immediately – but you know he’s only thinking about this as logically as you are.

You appreciate, for once, that you and Akaashi Keiji think so similarly.

“And,” you start, clapping your hands as you realize something suddenly. “As for protection-”

“Oh, yeah,” he says, reaching down into his bag. 

He drops a box of condoms on the table, size large.

You stare down at it dumbly. “Oh. Okay. That’s-” You’re not sure you’d ever expected to be in the know about the size of Akaashi’s-

“I was at the store and didn’t want to forget.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s fine, it’s just-” You smile to yourself, a little embarrassed to know this. “Videos with condoms don’t really do as well as videos without.”

You feel his eyes on the side of your face. “I… did not know that,” he says. “But I can understand why.”

You swallow, handing the condoms back to him with an awkward grin. “I’m on the pill, is what I wanted to say.” You’re glad to see that the apples of his cheeks are becoming rosy.

“Got it,” he says, turning to put the box in his bag again. He scribbles ‘ birth control ’ haphazardly on the sheet, and you let out an accidental snicker. He shakes his head at it, and you catch the grin on his face just as he’s turning away.

“Uh,” you start, trying not to laugh again. “I was also thinking pet names might be necessary.”

“Oh, if we need to talk to each other,” he realizes, nodding. “Yeah. Do you have a preference?”

“I think that question might be better for you,” you muse. “I’m good with most things-”

“ Sweetheart ? Princess ? Pretty girl or baby girl ? Darling ?” he asks without thinking. You watch his mouth move, words you’d never expected from him just falling from his lips like nothing. 

“S-Sure. That’s all fine with me.”

“Okay,” he says. “I think for me… I mean, baby ’s fine. I’m not really into the… more stereotypical names.”

You tilt your head. “What, like daddy ?”

He grimaces. “Yeah, that’s not my thing-” He cuts a glance at you. “Sorry, if it’s yours.”

You smile wide now, utterly amused. “Can’t say it is. But – are you a dom, Akaashi? Or a sub.”

“Why?” he says, a single eyebrow lifting as his lips quirk in a grin. “Because I like to be called baby ?”

“I’m just curious,” you say, feigning a seriousness you simply don’t feel.

“Well, be curious in bed, not now.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. “Yes, Sir.” His fingers twitch on his pen, and your eyebrows lift with interest. You lean forward. “ Sir ? Is that it?”

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

“But you reacted when I said it-”

He rolls his eyes and starts to flip the page toward the checklist of preferences. “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it.” 

“How’d I say it?”

He stands, glancing down the hall. “Like a brat.” Your smile drops, right along with your stomach. It flips violently, and your fingers start to tingle, but he barely gives you a second look. “Give me a tour of the spare bedroom? While we go through these.”

Your legs shake when you stand. “Sure.” You lead him down the hall, contract clutched in your hand and heart in your throat. You weren’t prepared to hear that from him.

You push the door open, letting him in. He wanders to the center of the room, turning in place. You’d put plain white sheets on the bed, the comforter a deep red color. The couch in the corner is covered in a pale green sheet, and there are a few throw pillows and blankets laid over the arm and back of it. There’s an empty desk in the corner, one that Akaashi eyes with an amused lift of his brow. 

“It’s nice in here,” he says blankly, his eyes still tracking the decor in the room. It’s all plain enough not to be recognizable, but the room is comfortable to be in. You’d put string lights all around the wall, your phone equipped with an app to change the colors whenever. You’ve got one tripod for your phone near the bed and another near the couch, and there’s a chest at the end of the bed. Akaashi taps it with his foot.

“Functional or just decoration?” Your harsh flush is his answer, and he reaches for the latch, pausing for permission once he’s got his fingers on it. You nod curtly, and he drops his contract and pen on the bed so he can crouch by the chest and lift the top with both hands.

He gives you no indication of his thoughts when he looks inside – it’s filled with sex toys, harnesses, props, and basically anything else you thought might be useful. Looking at it now, you’re certain it looks like you’re into a lot of interesting things, but he only glances at you for a second round of permission before he reaches in. He seems to understand that it’s one thing to look and another entirely to touch , but you give him that permission, too.

The first thing he extracts is a whip. “Have you ever used this?”

You smile emptily. “On myself, once. Wasn’t very fun. And I didn’t upload the video.”

He sets it back inside gently. “I prefer to use my hands, if that’s okay.”

“Oh.” You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to this. “Sure.”

He spends the next few minutes quietly pulling out a variety of dildos, butt plugs, and vibrators and laying them neatly on the bed, side by side. You grow warmer with each one, unsure what to do with this situation. He also retrieves a stretch of black cloth that you’d used once to blindfold yourself. It hadn’t gone as well as you’d hoped.

He stands with it now, tugging on it experimentally. “I like this.”

“Okay.”

He nods to the items on the bed. “I like all those, too-” He glances down and reaches into the chest again, setting a bottle of lube next to the vibrator on the end.

You approach him finally, standing beside him as you survey the collection. “Okay. Why?”

He picks up his contract, scanning the list and pointing to your bed as he speaks. “Guided masturbation.” He points to the dildos and the vibrators. He points next to the butt plugs. “Anal-”

“Oh, I’ve-” You fidget with your fingers. “I have yet to be successful with that.” He stares down at you in confusion, and then gestures to the fact that there are three of them on the bed, varying in size. You smile pitifully up at him. “I thought the issue was the size.”

“O…kay,” he says with a breath of laughter. “We don’t have to include anal-”

“No, I’m…” You chuckle to yourself. “I’m not opposed… obviously.”

There’s a long moment of eye contact, one where you become incredibly warm and his lips fight to tug into a smirk, but he eventually turns back to his contract. 

“Understood.”

You wonder how much longer this torture will last.

He moves to the couch, sighing quietly and clicking his pen again. You’re starting to get the idea that that’s a nervous tick. “Should we just go one at a time and say yes or no?”

“Okay. Sure.” You close the lid of the chest and sit on it, ignoring the pile of toys behind you. 

You spend the next ten minutes that way, voting on a list of kinks with Akaashi Keiji, as though you haven’t spent the last five years dreading every second with him. You learn that he’s into choking – giving and receiving – but that he prefers giving oral more than receiving it. You tell him that you like being tied up but that you’ve never tried it with a partner before, and then you admit to a slight oral fixation. He jokes dryly that you’d have to settle for his fingers in your mouth, in that case, and you bite back a warning that the oral fixation includes marking your partners up where others can see. He only lifts a brow and asks if he should check off ‘ exhibitionist ’, and you joke that your balcony isn’t visible from the street. You ask more certainly if he’s a dom, because it’s becoming obvious that he is, and he rolls his eyes and asks if you’re always this bratty.

The list goes on and on, and you’re surprised by how honest both of you are being. He checks ‘ dacryphilia ’, and you tell him with waning embarrassment that he can go ahead and check ‘ somnophilia ’ while he’s at it. Even things you’ve never tried but have been quietly interested in make the list, and you wonder if maybe it’s because this is a chance to try all those things without fear of judgment from the person you’re doing it with. There’s no pressure with Akaashi, because there’s no crushing fear that he’s going to find you strange or uncomfortable. 

He’d shrugged and nodded when you’d said the word somnophilia, for fuck’s sake. He utters the words ‘ temperature play’ , ‘ overstimulation ’, and ‘ ruined orgasm ’ with ease, and you rattle off ‘ edging ’, ‘ praise ’, and ‘ dirty talk ’ like it’s nothing. There’s nothing to worry about with him.

Eventually, he sighs, turning to the last page of the contract, which only has the ‘ Agreed Upon Consent System ’ section and lines for your signatures. “And… is it alright if I’m a little mean?”

You tilt your head at him, your embarrassment long forgotten. “Like, degradation? Calling me names?”

He hums and then shakes his head. “Not exactly.” He thinks for a moment. “More like… disinterest.”

“Oh.” You consider it. “I suppose that’s a kind of degradation.”

“I suppose it is.” He shifts. “Just worried, since you mentioned praise.”

You feel a little embarrassment now. “Well, is there a way to do both?”

His smile is surprised, and he ducks his head when he laughs. “Yeah, I think there might be. Disinterested praise.”

“Yeah, see? Just make sure not to smile at me when you say nice things,” you joke.

He shakes his head and then taps the paper. “What’s our consent system?”

You shrug. “I’m only really familiar with the color system.”

“Green, yellow, red?” he asks, already starting to write it down. You hum in agreement, and he holds the contract up when he’s done. “Okay. I’m ready to sign if you are.”

You leave your blank copy on the bed and hop off the chest, joining him on the couch. You watch as he signs his name and marks the date on one of the lines – he hands you the pen after, and you do the same, your name sitting neatly under his. 

“Okay,” you breathe, staring down at the paper with fresh eyes. He nods beside you, and then he turns his head. You feel his eyes on you, so you meet them, and he sticks his hand out to you.

“Let’s get you your rent money.”

You can’t help but laugh when you take his hand, shaking it firmly.

–

He texts you later that night, after you’ve had time to lie in your bed and process what’s just happened. 

You feel, weirdly enough, more comfortable with him – not completely, and certainly nothing of the friendly sort, but you feel like the afternoon hadn’t been that tense or difficult. It had mostly been awkward and a little funny, which is only to be expected in this situation. It makes you wonder, while you’re showering and making dinner, if maybe Akaashi’s not all that bad outside of an academic context.

Of course, things between you inside an academic context are so hostile that it had always bled over into whatever social interactions you’d been forced into by your mutual friends. You can’t imagine that those things will change anytime soon – it feels strange to picture Akaashi as anything but rude and torturous within the department, and you find that you’re not so enthused at the idea of him suddenly warming up to you. You like how things are between you. You like him just how he is, predictably annoying and cold.

So, when he texts you, you’re unsurprised that your guards go up.

[10:16 PM]

Akaashi: i need your account name + site

[10:18 PM]

Akaashi: please

You feel the floor drop out from under you, and you answer in a frenzy.

[10:19 PM]

You: no fucking way

Akaashi: ???????

Akaashi: i need to study before tomorrow??????

Yes, you’d agreed to spend the majority of the day tomorrow batching content for the week. But you have no idea why you hadn’t anticipated this. 

Aghast, you don’t bother typing, just jabbing down on the button to record a voice note.

“You need to study?! ” You say, exasperated. “My body’s all over that account! I’m doing a lot of things on that account! Naked things!”

You send it and wait, pacing the space around your bed. He sends a voice note back. You click play with a shaky thumb.

“ Are you insane?” he says, and you hear that he’s laughing at you. You swell with annoyance as he talks. “ Did you plan to have sex with me with all your clothes on? ” You roll your eyes, sitting at the edge of your bed. 

“Yeah, that was a stupid point,” you mumble to yourself.

“ I need to see what the general aesthetic of your account is, okay? To see how you film. ”

You press the microphone again to record. “Yeah, but this feels super unfair! You’ll have seen my whole body, and I won’t have seen yours – this is skewed!”

He texts back this time.

[10:23 PM]

Akaashi: oh, sorry. let me link you to my porn account, too, then.

Akaashi: are you hearing yourself???

You groan, throwing yourself back on your mattress. You know he’s right, but it’s terrifying to know that Akaashi will have seen you naked – more than naked, really – and you will have no clue what you’re walking into tomorrow. Still, you just flail on your bed a few times in protest before sighing and lifting your phone to your face.

[10:26 PM]

You: xxxvids .com

You: username tokyolovely

You throw your phone down and roll over to bury your face in the mattress, screaming into the comforter when your phone buzzes with his response.

Akaashi: … no comment.

You want to smack him.

Akaashi: and why couldnt you choose one of the big sites that everyone else posts on???

Akaashi: onlyfans?? pornhub even???

Akaashi: i swear to god if i get a virus from xxxvids .com

Akaashi: rent is not the only expense youll need to worry about

You definitely want to smack him.

–

Keiji throws his phone down on his desk, shaking his head with a sigh.

“What even is that?” he mumbles to himself, typing the site into his laptop. “ XXXVid- This is so stupid. Just use PornHub at that point.”

He’s accosted immediately by thumbnails of naked women and men with penises that just have to be cosmetically enlarged. He plugs his headphones in quickly, very much not needing any audio surprises from this site, and makes an account, rolling his eyes when he needs to come up with a username.

When he’s done, he types your name into the search bar.

“ Tokyo…lovely, ” he says as he types, and then his middle finger hovers over the Enter key. 

His goal really is just to look at how you’ve set up your account. He just wants to see the general tone of your channel. If you’re loud or quiet. If you’ve marketed yourself as one of those gentle, virginal girls or as a sex freak that makes a lot of noise. He needs to know these things, so he knows how to perform tomorrow. It’s logical. It makes sense.

But still, he sits here, finger hovering over the key while he contemplates it. He’d gone through the entire contract with you and revealed his deepest interests – previously experienced or otherwise. But this feels like a move he can’t take back. Once he does this, he will have seen your body, and that’s irreversible.

You agreed to this, you idiot.

He groans, jamming his finger down on the key before he can think further about it. The website buffers long enough that he wonders about that virus again, and then it loads.

Oh.

His heart jumps, and he finds himself looking away from his screen and glancing nervously around his living room, as though he doesn’t live completely alone. And then he looks back, met with the sight of your body.

He can only tell it’s you because he knows it’s you, and – looking at you in a set of black lingerie in the first thumbnail – this body looks like yours. The next thumbnail has you in a mismatched bra-panty pair, and, in the video after, you’re not wearing anything at all. He sucks in a breath, glancing away every few seconds while he scrolls, because it feels wrong to stare. He focuses on the titles, testing every ounce of his reading comprehension in this moment.

[Oct. 19] Shy Girl Fingers Herself to Orgasm

“Shy?” he mumbles, shaking his head. “Yeah, right.”

[Oct. 18] Virgin Sends Masturbation Video to Boyfriend

“Not a virgin,” he says. “No boyfriend.”

[Oct. 17] Girl Makes Herself Squirt on Friend’s Couch

“Not a friend’s cou-Wait.” He blinks. 

You can squirt ?

The room becomes noticeably warmer as he stares down at the little thumbnail of you curled up on the couch in your spare room. He’d intended to watch one video, just to see the extent of your editing, but he’d meant only to skim through it, skipping parts and examining the video from a purely analytic standpoint.

But… Well, if he’s going to watch one, anyway… 

He drags his mouse over it, about to click into it, when a pop-up banner appears from the left side of his screen.

TOKYOLOVELY IS ACTIVE NOW – SAY HI!

Keiji jumps, feeling as though he’s been caught doing something awful. And then he sighs heatedly and clicks on the banner, watching it open to an empty chat box.

[10:35 PM]

tokyohandsome: stop anxiously scrolling through your own videos

tokyolovely: YOU FUCK, YOU CHOSE THAT NAME ON PURPOSE

tokyohandsome: get offline, tokyolovely

tokyolovely: youre not allowed to watch the one of me with that dildo in doggy

Keiji blinks hard. The what ? Where you’re what ?

tokyohandsome: go to bed, youre driving me nuts

tokyohandsome: wait-

tokyohandsome: can you see which video i view????

tokyolovely: …. if i say yes will you exit this website

tokyohandsome: ill take that as a no.

tokyolovely: YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU WATCH

tokyohandsome: goodnight, lovely <3 

tokyolovely: i hate you.

He laughs to himself, bright and hidden in his hand.

tokyohandsome: do you get paid for interacting with viewers in dms?

tokyolovely: yes.

tokyohandsome: do i decide how much they give you?

tokyolovely: … it’s a rating after i log off.

tokyohandsome: then you better say goodnight to me and log off, lovely <3

tokyolovely: ….. goodnight, handsome.

tokyohandsome: :((

tokyolovely: …. <3

tokyohandsome: :))

TOKYOLOVELY HAS LOGGED OFF

He sighs, pleased, and gives you a five-star rating like he’d always intended, closing the chat. He’s tempted to go looking for that video of you in doggy position, but he respects your hyper-specific request and returns to the video he’d originally seen. He clicks on it now, nerves a bit eased after that absurd interaction with you, and settles back in his chair.

The video starts with you in your underwear, touching yourself gently through the fabric. He watches with distant interest as you squeeze your breasts through your bra and then drop one hand to the spot between your thighs that’s currently hidden by how you’re curled up. You touch yourself vaguely, and he hears the beginnings of a moan, quiet in his headphones.

The sound grows the longer you continue, and he wonders if those moans sound faked because they’re obviously so or because he knows you. From the many years of hearing your voice – albeit never in this situation – he can’t imagine that this is what you would actually sound like if you were feeling good. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he watches you start to slide the panties down your thighs. 

He’s certain he can pull better sounds out of you than that.

He watches a few moments longer, genuinely critiquing the video and your performance, if only to gauge how he should act, too. 

But then you drop your panties on the couch beside you, sighing breathily, and move to unhook your bra. Keiji’s eyebrows lift as you slip the straps off, and suddenly he’s not thinking about things he plans to do differently as your business partner.

You prop your feet up on the couch and spread your legs, and he spreads his, too, unconsciously, eyes dropping to your exposed core. His tongue darts out, wetting his lips, and he shifts in his seat, his sweats becoming suspiciously tight. He watches you on his laptop screen – the way your fingertips swipe over your clit in two tight circles before dropping to your entrance – and he swallows, committing the motion to memory, because he’s here to study. To study .

He blinks hard, shifting again and ignoring the way his cock twitches in his pants and strains against the band. He watches you dip both fingers into your entrance before slipping out, and he has the torturous thought that your fingers look a lot smaller than his. You repeat the motion three or four times, working yourself open until you can fit both fingers up to the knuckles. 

You moan in Keiji’s ears, loud and a little gratuitous – but he moans back.

He palms himself through his sweats, watching you finger yourself. His breath hitches, and his stomach swirls with nerves, and he feels a wave of desire crash over him.

And then he hears your voice, in that note you’d sent him.

‘-feels super unfair – You’ll have seen my whole body, and I won’t have seen yours-’

He groans, throwing his head back against his chair briefly, and reaches for his phone before he can overthink.

“ Fuck it, ” he mumbles in a strained voice, opening the camera and propping his phone up against the stack of books on his desk. 

He presses record.

–

At 11pm, you get a text.

You’ve sat on your bed the last thirty minutes, scrolling through Twitter absentmindedly as you think about what Akaashi could be watching. You wonder if he’s actually watched anything, or if he’s just skimming the thumbnails and titles, or maybe if he’d just logged off right after you, satisfied with teasing you a little. 

You feel painfully vulnerable in your state of not knowing. You have no clue what you’re walking into tomorrow. At least before, you were partially comforted in that neither of you had seen the other naked, and also in that neither of you had been with someone else in at least a year. There had been an air of safety, knowing that you and Akaashi were on relatively equal ground.

You’re horribly underground, now.

So, when his first text comes through, the banner pulling down over the top of your screen, you think the worst.

[10:59 PM] 

Akaashi : [Video Attached]

What is that? What did he do? Did he record your videos on his phone? Is he commenting on them? At the very worst, he’s making fun of you, and at the very best, he’s offering you tips to improve your filming or editing. You really don’t know which you hate more.

But then his second text comes in, this banner replacing the last.

Akaashi: making it a little less unfair.

“ What? ” you mumble, brows furrowed as you click on the notification. Your phone jumps to the text thread, and you squint at the thumbnail of the video. It’s just him leaning toward the camera with a furrowed brow, seated at his desk in grey sweats and a white t-shirt, with his glasses perched on his nose and his hair slightly wet from what’s probably a recent shower. He’s got headphones in, and there’s something bright on his laptop screen.

It’s the glare in the corner of his glasses, a reflection of his laptop screen, that makes your heart leap.

You know that pale green sheet.

“What… the fuck …?” You bring the phone close to your face, too scared to press play . “Is that asshole live-reacting to my video?” With a trembling finger, your click on the video.

And you realize immediately what’s happening.

Akaashi settles back in his chair with a heated sigh, his tongue darting out as he watches his screen. It’s because he leaned back that you can see properly now – the tent in his pants, the hand he presses over the outline of his cock with a quiet sigh.

Your jaw drops. He’s-

His eyes track your movement on the screen, which you can now see clearly in the glare of his glasses, and his bottom lip catches between his teeth. He breathes hard, palming himself through his sweats as he watches your video. He glances once at his own camera, clearly nervous about recording this, but then his eyes widen and fly to his screen, whatever sound you’d just made in his headphones drawing his attention completely.

“ Oh, f- ” He purses his lips, and you feel yourself leaning in, wanting to hear what he’d been about to say. He blinks rapidly, eyes trained on one spot – you can see exactly which video it is now, and your heart jumps when you recognize the way your own body moves in the reflection of his glasses.

So that’s what he’s into.

You spend so long staring at the reflection in his glasses that you nearly miss the way he starts to move. You drop your eyes in time to catch him lifting his hips just enough to slide his sweats down to his thighs. He tucks one hand into his boxers, and you watch with parted lips as Akaashi Keiji’s eyes roll back into his head.

“ Fuck, ” he breathes, his head dropping back momentarily, and your mouth falls open more, your brain stunned into nothingness as you watch him masturbate to a video of you masturbating. As you realize that this isn’t just anyone watching one of your videos – liking one of your videos.

This is Akaashi Keiji.

Akaashi Keiji’s just given you the confirmation that you’re good at this, after so many weeks of feeling quite the opposite.

“Oh,” you breathe, the sticky heat of understanding washing over your skin. It worsens when he uses his free hand to tug his boxers down, making this ground feel suddenly a lot more equal.

Oh.

Akaashi keeps his eyes glued to his screen, and you catch a glimpse of your on-screen self coming more and more undone. You examine him closely while he watches it, too – his lips are swollen and wet from pursing and biting at them, and there’s a flush high on his cheeks and a hooded, hazy quality to his eyes that makes your stomach flip with nerves. His tongue darts out again, wetting his pink lips just as he’s parting them to sigh. 

Your eyes drop, watching how he slides his palm against his cock, slick with precum and making the most impolite, soft squelching sound whenever he flicks his wrist. Your thighs press together instinctively, a hard throb pulsing through your core when his hips jerk slightly. 

His breathing speeds up, as does the flick of his wrist, and you realize in the reflection that you must be starting to squirt. Akaashi grips the arm of his desk chair with his free hand and presses his lips together, his moan muffled but still audible. His hips jerk and stutter, and then his eyes roll back into his head again as he comes all over his hand and stomach, streaks of white painting the back of his hand and wrist.

His lips part in a gasp and a rough sigh as he’s coming down, and he slumps against his chair, breathing hard as he stares at nothing – the screen is dark in his glasses now. He drags his clean hand through his hair, tugging hard and breathing out a soft ‘ fuck ’. He breathes twice more, and then his eyes flick to his camera, as though he’s only just remembered it’s there.

He sees himself in the video and rolls his eyes immediately, a breathless laugh leaving him as he shakes his head and looks away.

“ Uh, ” he says, still laughing. He leans forward, reaching with his free hand for the phone, and shakes his head again. “ See you tomorrow, I guess.”

The video cuts there, leaving you with silence and a sudden, overwhelming attraction to Akaashi Keiji.

Oh.

[feelingbluewrites]

I truly believe that Bokuto is one of the most passionate lovers in Haikyuu.

With his sun sign a Virgo, not only is he extremely loyal, but with his Venus sign in Scorpio he's literally ride or die. Venus in Scorpio crave intensity, he can be a bit dependent but there's nothing he wouldn't do for you, that is, except letting you go.

So I can only imagine when you two break up, he's always going to come crawling back. Trying to look for you in different girls. Similar hair color, hair style, height, mannerisms, but none of them are actually you.

It takes a couple days though. A couple days for him to dissociate that you two really are over, A couple days for him to learn this new life without you. He seems fine at first, seeming like his usual self. That is until he's up one night, tossing in turning. It's cold in his room, usually by this time you would be snuggling him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, with small snores that is like white noise for him to sleep.

All of a sudden his walls break down and he's crying to himself, hugging himself to try and stop the pain that he feels in his heart. Never in his life has he felt so empty without you here. He thought he was fine, he swore that he was fine. But yet he can't help the tears that flow out of his eyes, gripping his chest trying to find a breath. It just hurts so bad, it hurts his heart physically that you aren't his anymore.

So he's up early in the morning, with little to no sleep. Going for an early jog even when it's practically freezing out. He thinks maybe he just needs to clear his mind, he just had a moment of weakness that's all. Everyone usually needs to cry here and there to get better.

Then he's suddenly changing up his path, making a b-line to your house. He can't control it, his feet won't stop and it's only a matter of minutes before he's in front of your house. At coincidental timing you're exiting your house, unaware that Bokuto had been standing there for a few seconds, unclear of what to do next.

And it isn't until you reach your mailbox that you noticed the silver haired owl standing tall in front of you.

"Kou-"

Before being able to finish your sentence, his arms already wrap around you, practically tugging you into his own body. And he can't help but kiss you, kiss you with so much emotion that you feel as though you might explode from how intense he's biting and licking your lips, almost as if this is your last kiss together.

You don't pull back, of course you can't pull back. Unlike Bokuto, you've been missing him almost every night that you'll cry with tear stained pillows, look through old photos of memories that make you throw your phone across the room. Of course, you always put on a mask, Convincing people, even him, that you are fine. When in reality, this break up is slowly breaking you, exactly like it's breaking him too.

He takes all of you in, your perfume that brought him so much comfort, and his hands have a mind of it's own as it wanders all over your body.

"I missed you." Choked cries in between kisses because this all he needed. All that he's ever wanted, The only thing that he cares about right now.

He loves you so much, too much that it makes his heart want to explode. And he's not letting you go again because the emptiness he feels when you aren't there, kills him.

You may not believe him when he says it but, he'd do anything for you.

He'd die for you.

[nanabansama]

Tsukasa's Winter Uniform

Many people forget, but Tsukasa has appeared in TBHK since the very first chapter. He even shows up before Kou, less you count the pilot adaptation.

The odd thing is, despite Tsukasa later confirming he only wore the winter uniform to match his older brother, Tsukasa shows up in the winter uniform much earlier than their fated rooftop encounter. About a month earlier, at least.

If that weren't enough, he even shows up wearing it in the reflection of Hanako's knife, implying he wore it when he died.

Previously I guessed this was done because AidaIro hadn't finalized the designs of Amane (specifically, alive!Hanako) and Tsukasa yet, but upon further reflection I like to think it was to wordlessly show the deep connection between Hanako and Tsukasa. To leave hints for the reader, and keep them second-guessing.

I mean, who's to say the character handling the radio in Chapter 1 wasn't Hanako? It's unlikely with what we know now, but it's something a lot of people probably thought when they first read it. And I think that's kind of brilliant, given that the twins are mirror images of each other in everything except clothes. When we can't see Tsukasa's identical face, it only makes sense to give them the same clothes.

It's interesting when Tsukasa first shows up on the rooftop, too. Tsukasa has a few differences between himself and his twin, but in this encounter he shares much of the same traits. He lacks his pointy teeth and you can't even see his eyes till the end, which don't even look particularly Tsukasa-like.

The only true major difference is his kokujoudai and the black seal, which really lack any individuality at all... they are just black-colored versions of Hanako's own seal and tsueshiro. It's a very interesting choice; the least I can say is Tsukasa really went all out in matching his brother.

In some ways, it's a bit underwhelming for his face reveal. In others, it's not: I mean, Hanako's murder victim literally shares his face! What a compelling surprise! I can only imagine AidaIro was trying to emphasize this.

Later, Tsukasa returns to the broadcasting club room and catches up with Natsuhiko and Sakura. This is where his individuality begins to shine.

He changes into his hakama outfit, his pupils get tiny or his eyes go completely black, and while not every panel has them he's drawn with his signature pointy canines in a few.

His personality changes, too. You get to see Tsukasa's more childlike, innocent side. He's so much more serious when he's with Hanako, you feel a lot of tension and maybe even resentment there. But here, he becomes so carefree. While the rooftop has him feeling more like a spectre of Hanako's guilt rather than his own person, here it really sinks in that this is not just some recolored Hanako we're dealing with.

On that note, I find it interesting the twins seem more carefree when they're away from each other... hmm...

Anyway, one thing I like about this era of Tsukasa is the art AidaIro made of him. I'm a big fan of early TBHK art, and the matching baggy winter uniforms really look nice together.

I like how this art emphasizes a sort of perverted sentimentality between the two of them. They can't help reaching out to each other. I like how Hanako distinctly doesn't look happy either, something Tsukasa inquires when they meet again. He looks distressed, helplessly so. And he is: he can't break away from his guilt of killing Tsukasa, nor Tsukasa himself, who is content to keep eating away at him while he still can, knowing Amane will be his doom. It's mutual self-destruction--They can't live with each other, can't live without each other...

My love for chapter frontispieces aside, thanks for reading this far! I used to not have much appreciation for Tsukasa's winter uniform but I've come to love its symbolism a lot more as time has gone on. Perhaps I'm reading too deep into things, but what do you think?

Also before anyone tries to tell me the Chapter 17 frontispiece isn't Tsukasa allow me to introduce you to the top right corner:

[milksnake-tea]

Dunno if you've ever answered an ask like this before, but do you mind telling us about your mutuals?

Rather, their writing styles and how they interact (No pressure if this sounds like I'm intruding on a boundary or something, I've noticed that you reblog a lot of works and I'm trying to find more fic writers from HSR and Genshin to support, but sometimes it feels a little scary 😅)

HELP NO IT'S OKAY !!! no fear in asking, we love people like you <333 these are mainly the mutuals that i've read fics from so that i can actually tell you how they write but still. THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE STRAP IN FOLKS. if i forgot ygs im sorry oops... also sorry for the tag COUGHS (esp to the ppl i keep tagging when i get asked abt my moots BYE kawa skip mhie naru ren im so sorry i love you i swear)

@generalsmemories

NARU !!! ONE OF MY FIRST EVER HSR MOOTS AND ONE OF THE WRITERS I LOOK UP TO THE MOST. her writing style is very scenic?? if i were to describe it, it's very dreamy and whimsical and it's like reading a fantasy book. very descriptive but not so descriptive that you're eating fancy words. she's jing yuan centric but occasionally writes for others such as dan heng and sunday! she's honestly very very silly when it comes to interaction, like in an older sister way <33 she talks like an aesthetic if that makes sense

@inarvii

skip has a very elegant feel to her writing like LORD. it's giving noble/fantasy thriller enemies to lovers but in a writing style i love her prose and how she really makes you feel the vibe of a scene. she's really kind and sweet, gives older sister vibes lowkey

@k9wa

kawa is like me but x497842389 cooler and with a lot better grasp on characters. you want proper characterization? you want big brain ideas? GO TO HIM. his writing feels theatric, like a movie or a play. it's so descriptive and he does an amazing job at describing action and characters and GRGRGRGR

@luvether

lord i dont know if its okay to tag you but uhm. hi waves hand 😭😭 honestly i haven't interacted w kou much but from what i can tell she's really nice!! BUT I HAVE READ HER WRITING. AND LAWRD. her writing feels like little snapshots of life, you feel like you're actually like. THERE. she always has the biggest brain of ideas i swear and i highly recommend her writing. mostly fluff with a touch of angst, one of my favorites fr !!

@emiken-070907

hi emi. bet you didn't expect to get tagged here huh. but you have one hsr fic and that's enough for me to slap you onto here and promo you (it's on ao3 and it's not an x reader, but it is a tragedy yanqing timeskip!!! i beta read for that btw flips hair (i still need to edit im so sorry emi please)). as for interaction, she is silly asf. TO ME PERSONALLY? shes like the ratty little sibling that you want to throw out the window but would also kill for. has great vibes over all, she's so sweet but sometimes shes a lil shit so. yeah. idk how she acts to followers but she is like that to ME. but she is full of whimsy and glee so there's that

@rainswept

edgar allan poe incarnate over here??? HELLO??? crow is. her writing is RAW. like okay this is going to get a bit gorey but they write like a freshly opened wound, it's vulnerable, it's poetic, it's pure imagery and i LOVE it. also another goofy moot. i think like just attracts like atp

@tragedy-of-commons

gwen is an absolute SWEETHEART. very silly. BUT THEY'RE SO SWEET. her writing is literally sunlight put into literary terms, if that makes sense. it's warm, comfy, and cozy (except when she kills you in the arms of your favorite character. which she has done) and i highly recommend her writing for a comfy read <3

@iceunhie

mhie is a HATER OF THE HIGHEST ORDER jk i love her she just bullies me GOODBYE 😭 mhie gives off older sister vibes, a lot of people (including me HELP) see her as intimidating but she's really sweet once you get to know her. or she calls you milk. who knows. ANYWAYS genuinely one of the people i look up to most, she always gives amazing feedback on writing and her own writing??? the prose??? she's a master at it. knows how to really elevate a piece and it's just really easy on the eyes. she's also a research writer, her jiaoqiu fic utilizes chinese proverbs and terminology and i think that's really neat <3

@st6rly

hi bottom beta. okay wait sorry you have a reputation i forgot ANYWAYS. SOL IS SUCH A SILLY GOOSE. i love him. BUT HE IS SO GOOFY AND I MEAN THAT IN A POSITIVE WAY. i haven't read that much about what sol writes unfortunately since i'm no longer interested in genshin that much 😭😭 but i've heard good things !! definitely someone you wanna check out if you like good vibes :D

@lowkeyren

ren my pookiebear my LORD !!! resident aquila favonia haver (she has like 21 as of right now) and she serves every time she writes. always gets slapped onto my rec list because she's one of the few writers that genuinely have me kicking and giggling 😭 really cute, really tension filled, one of my favorite authors :))

@scribs-dibs

SUNNIII true to his name his writing feels just so warm and light, like a slice of life anime. very relaxing reads, at least from what i've seen !! very warm, really really cute <33 like the main one that ive read from him is that alhaitham jealousy fic and??? the characterization was ON POINT. i loved it so much (the switch up made me laugh) as for personality. HES FUNNY. LIKE HES STRAIGHT UP HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM GO CHECK HIM OUT I SWEAR ITS WORTH IT

@akutasoda

q has a very pretty vibe if that makes sense, i haven't read much from them but i can definitely say that their writing style is beautiful, like a meadow full of flowers or a quiet stream. they've always been kind to me in that sort of older sibling way, and they're someone that i would trust as an emergency contact. lots of genshin and hsr from what i've seen on my dash, so definitely go check them out!

@aviiarie

avery's on the more reserved side, at least from my point of view, or maybe that's because when i first met them they had a ferminet pfp. they're pretty chill and casual, and can i just say? their writing is very easy to read, it has great flow and i can just lose myself in the fic. like i don't see the words i see what the words are saying, if that makes sense. avery also focuses on platonic writing, although they have been writing some romance with furina!! my personal favorite work of theirs was that fic of arlecchino comforting her crying child because it made me feel so much better about my life at 9 am when i just woke up.

@vynicity

FELICITYYYY she's a mutual in my heart even tho apparently tumblr thinks i dont follow her. but i do. ANYWAYS. another person that i consider on the more reserved side, but she's been fun whenever we talked. can i just say. SHE IS SO GOOD AT WRITING AVENTURINE. there's this one fic down the line about him being drunk??? i think??? and I ATE THAT UP because the tension and atmosphere that she managed to create. just magnificent. she has an aventurine series up right now iirc (i still need to read the new chapter im so sorry feli) and the prologue was. a roller coaster so definitely go check her out!

@vxnuslogy

vee is literally bursting with ideas and by god does she put them to use. i always see them brainrotting or thinking of new ideas or things to write, literally one of the most creative people ive met. can be a little silly, but still a sweetheart <33 her writing is more formal than what i'm used to i'll admit, but still a delight to read nevertheless <33 very descriptive is how i'd describe it, like it feels like she's looking at the scene as shes writing it

@ughscara

ayame is like. the sweetest person i have ever met. like ill be here being a little shit and she'll still be an absolute sweetheart I ALMOST FEEL BAD BECAUSE SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH MY ASS BYE 😭😭 i just recently reblogged one of her works and it straight up feels like it came out of a fairytale, it was so light and sweet <33

[mari-lair]

Kou never mistakes Hanako for a human, and I find that interesting.

He heard about Amane from Nene, who had front roll seats to his past and gained an intimate wake up call that "Hanako is not a 'magic being' from a fantasy book, he was a student, who is now dead"

His death is not a conflict for Kou though, is just who he is. He is well aware the ghost is dead, so what Nene shares isn't a revelation, is just small pieces of the puzzle that is Hanako: the understanding he used to study here.

Kou has no real link to Amane, he never met the guy. Even when explicitly talking about Amane, Kou has no mental image of this 13-year-old who killed his own brother, he can only picture Hanako, the ghost.

Kou doesn't interact with 'Amane' in Picture Perfect either, the very few interactions they have are super short, and always started by Hanako in his Amane disguise.

The one time Kou approaches him is because 'Amane' was carrying an unconscious Nene, so he gets curious, and shows that he doesn't trust him.

But when he learns it's Hanako, he is delighted. It doesn't matter that Mitsuba is acting weird, and that he still didn't get any answers, cause is Hanako! Hanako his buddy!

He never had a wish for Hanako to be alive, to be his classmate, so he doesn't feel any desperate attachment to the idea of 'Yugi Amane' like he did with the idea of 'Mitsuba Sousuke' only ever seeing him as a wrong version of Hanako from the start. Is not real, so of course he doesn't trust him.

His view of Hanako cannot be separated from him being a ghost.

Hanako is the one who properly introduced Kou to the world of supernaturals and served as an informant on the Far Shore when Teru kept him in the dark. He teaches Kou about rumors, boundaries, supernatural festivals, and introduces him to the complex feelings some of the dead may have about lingering on the Near Shore.

There are two main mentalities Kou has when it comes to Hanako, the first is 'I don't know enough about Hanako to tell if he is a threat, he is so weird, I want to learn about him' The second is 'he helps me and Nene. He looks after us, he is our friend.' and usually he focuses on the second.

But the "i need to gauge if he is a threat" mentality is just as important as his attachment to Hanako.

It's what makes him keep an eye on him and occasionally act like a judge, trying to figure out what is going on with him, which is a hard task.

Hanako does a lot of good and bad things to Kou.

He sealed his exorcist staff, which debilitates him through basically the whole manga, but he helps and saves him and Nene when called, he lies and is selfish, but he seems to only lie for silly things or what Hanako seems to believe is the greater good (the tears eye drops, Nene's lifespan). He seems guilty and burdened by his murder but he did murder someone. He is important to Nene, he is important to Kou, and so on.

Is too much to keep track of. Too hard to give a judgment.

So he focus on his feelings way more than logic, and he is very inclined to have a positive view of Hanako. He wants Hanako to be good. To be a friend.

He does notice his slimy behavior and he does change his perception of Hanako, slowly understanding him better and growing more wary of what he says, more careful when trying to read him.

But his doubts aren't nearly as heavy as his hopes for Hanako: He believes he wants the best for them.

If we go back to the scene where Nene is talking about Amane, there is something she says that sticks with Kou, something that immediately catches his attention "Maybe I shouldn't be his friend"

Unlike his death, this is a conflict Kou relates to.

He is making donuts for Hanako as they speak, absorbing everything he learns about the guy and using the information to help Hanako because he wants to cheer up Hanako.

Hanako being important to Nene is important to Kou. They are a group to him, and he isn't alone in his uncertainty.

Kou keep this mentality of just doing what he wants for a while, childish as it is, but slowly, he is forced to give Hanako more thought, to take him seriously.

His view on Hanako has been tipping to the negative recently. He always knew about Hanako being strange and full of secrets but he can't dismiss it anymore, since the ghost started lying about big things, like trapping Nene in a fake world and exchanging Aoi's lifespan for hers without Nene's consent. Is not like his usual avoidance and silly lies, he is getting harmful.

Hanako gave Kou plenty of glimpses into his more 'inhuman' mentality. He has shown Kou a lot of hints that pratically scream "Stop trusting me kid."

It piles up.

It becomes harder to know what is a lie. What isn't. What is okay and what shouldn't be forgiven.

Kou keeps trying to understand him and give him the benefit of the doubt , he truly doesn't want to believe Hanako is just an 'evil spirit' after everything they've been through. He is a supernatural but he is his teacher and friend too, that got to mean something.

But he doesn't have a clear answer. He can think as hard as he want, he still has no idea what is going on inside Hanako's head, he just wants to believe is something for Nene's sake. Because even if he isn't sure what Hanako thinks of him, he wants to believe he wants Nene to be happy, that his care for her is strong and genuine.

Besides the conflict between "he is an apparition, he is a friend" There is also the way Kou is dependent on Hanako.

Hanako is extremely helpful, he gives him all the answers related to supernaturals. Even when Kou didn't trust Hanako, the ghost already took the role of 'the guide' in the group, offering Kou something he always wanted: Information on supernaturals. A ticket to be part of a world Kou had always wanted to be part of, but his brother had sheltered him from.

Kou always goes to Hanako when he is in trouble. Regardless of how shady he acts, Hanako always helps.

So when he tells Kou he is incompetent, it gives him a wake up call.

Kou always had an inferiority complex, but this puts into perspective how he relies a lot on Hanako. He doesn't solve anything by himself, he either follows Hanako's lead, or faces a dead end.

Kou has a lot to think about after that. He doesn't want to keep relying on Hanako, he wants to take action himself, to be something that doesn't follow Hanako or Teru's lead.

He focuses mostly on Mitsuba, convinced the supernatural needs him, but also goes back to the promise he made with Teru.

This 'what do you want to do?' moment gives insight into a lot of relationships, but I'll only focus on what it says about Kou's view of Hanako here.

Kou is usually very sweet with Nene, but he is direct to the point of being cold here, he calls Hanako "The evil spirit of a murderer" as he had when he first met him all the way back in chap 3, It feels like an ultimatum. A judgment.

Hanako is dangerous, he needs to exorcise him. Part of him wants to exorcise Hanako. But he doesn't want to exorcise his teacher, his friend.

This brings me to his wish on the Red House.

Before talking about his wish I want to point out what his wish isn’t: Kou doesn’t want Hanako’s help, advise or support. He doesn’t want Hanako to give up on trying to help nene either, so he is still depends on Hanako's actions to save Nene to some extent, he doesn't believe he can do it himself, nor does he want the pressure of being believed.

He wants Hanako to be a problem that’s easy to deal with, an evil spirit that’s undeniably evil.

Things would be much easier if Kou could exorcise him: It would prove it to himself, teru, and Hanako that he can be an exorcist, it would eliminate any possible anxiety about what Hanako will do next, and it would give Hanako what he wants, Kou wouldn't disappoint him again.

When he pictures Hanako, he is happy and sweet looking, almost innocent. He may have decided he need to exorcise Hanako at some point, that is the right thing, but he doesn't really... want him gone.

He consistently has exorcism in mind when it comes to Hanako post-severance, but he also consistently pictures him happy and friendly. .

"I want to be a bigger help" implies he wants to work with Hanako, so the two help Nene instead of him being the sole person in charge of her lifespan, which is a big big difference from his self-destructive desperation to be the one to help Mitsuba.

"I need to get to the point where I can exorcise him." As it is, Kou does not believe he can exorcise him. He realizes he should, but also that he can't.

What he says when he fights Teru fits into that.

He doesn't agree with Hanako, and he denies the idea that he is doing this for Hanako, choosing to focus on his bond with Nene instead of his exorcism dilemma.

He and Nene have a simple camaraderie he can rely on, a mutual lack of understanding of what to do, but even this more 'safe' decision to be on her side instead of trying to keep discovering his own path got Kou the same reprimand Hanako had given him "You have big ideas but you can't back it up."

Both of the people he looks up to give him guidance told him he is useless. He can not fully relate to exorcists, or supernaturals, the path he is carving for himself, his beliefs, are unclear, easily shaken, and likely useless.

He still wants to be an exorcist, deep down, delighted when Teru gave him a chance. But he can't be an exorcist. Not when he thinks so much about the supernatural, unable to reject them but unable to truly understand or relate to them either.

It makes me sad that Aidairo pushed Kou and Hanako's situation aside, cause they still have a lot to explore, yet all we got recently is these crumbs:

Kou is keeping his eyes on Hanako, his attitude half "I am your friend, I care about you", half "I don't trust you anymore, don't scheme again, bastard" but they don't have meaningful talks with each other anymore.

Hanako will save Kou if he sees him in danger, I'm sure. And Kou will do the same. But their trust is... shaky... and they will never talk about it. Kou won't share that he wants but can't exorcise Hanako and Hanako won't share how much he values Kou. They won't seek each other for help either. Both will slowly yet consistently focus on someone else instead, like a weirdly passive attempt at detachment.

So I have no hope for more meaningful interaction between them. Not anytime soon at least... Is truly a shame.

[thelunarfairy]

The ideal present

I've been thinking about the development of time and what would be the ideal present, are we really following the true present? Are you confused?

You may remember that Tsuchigomori said that Amane's future is to become a teacher, but he changed his destiny, something that should have been impossible. If we are following Amane's impossible destiny, it means that we are not in his ideal present.

About the ideal present, what it suggests is that time is trying to reestablish itself. Amane's ideal future is to be a teacher, but the future was changed, that is, he is no longer ideal. We were seeing a bad future for Amane.

It was the present, the present set in a wrong branch in Amane's past. Tsukasa coming back is a paradox, and a temporal paradox is a flaw in time. That's why Kako said the problem is Tsukasa.

How could he come back if Nene only knows him if Amane becomes Hanako? I mean, for Hanako to meet Nene, he needs to have killed 12-year-old Tsukasa and then killed himself, but for Hanako to live with 12-year-old Tsukasa, little Tsukasa needs to come back, and that will only happen when Hanako falls in love with Nene.

Did you see the confusion? How could Nene find little Tsukasa without Amane turning into Hanako? And Amane can only transform into Hanako if little Tsukasa comes back.

Here's the glitch in timing. According to real physics, paradox is a glitch in time, and therefore it is considered impossible. So we can use the grandfather paradox as an example. In physics they say that the grandfather paradox is based on you trying to go back in time to kill your grandfather.

But if you do that, you won't be born, if you aren't born it's impossible for you to go back in time to kill your grandfather. There is only one possibility of this becoming real, if it is in a multiverse case.

You go back in time and kill your grandfather, but a new timeline is born, where you were not born and your grandfather was killed. If there is a paradox, then we are not in the multiverse theory.

So, in fiction we enter chaos theory, a paradox that leads to constant consecutive errors in time and that generate a catastrophic and destructive future.

The school's future is destruction, as we saw Mirai move forward in time, meaning Tsukasa returning is a mistake. Amane, Nene and Kou created this error in time, and it is trying to reestablish itself. Number one is the guardian of time, and having that title, his logic makes sense.

It turns out that Hanako is trying the impossible to keep Tsukasa by his side, even though fate says it's not possible. This explains why Tsukasa must also hate rules, destiny is a rule without exceptions, if you are destined for something, there is nothing you can do to change it, as Hanako himself said.

He knows the rules, but he wants to go over them, like he did with Nene too. As long as he insists, the paradox will continue and worse consequences will arise.

So we're following the wrong present, all because Tsukasa came back. The other future that could be ideal was for Amane to die and Tsukasa to stay alive. If Tsu had never met that creature, Amane would die of the disease.

But since Tsukasa was able to talk to that creature, it means that it was Tsukasa's destiny to sacrifice himself. Just use the same logic that Hanako applied to him and Nene. If Nene managed to summon him, it means she was close to death.

Just like Tsukasa, the only exception would be if he came from a special family, like the Minamotos. We don't know about this in their family, so this hypothesis should be kept aside for now.

Based on the information we have, Tsukasa was destined to die and live alone in the red house, his sacrifice is necessary for the flow of time to move towards the ideal future, for Amane to grow up alone and become a teacher.

Which means that we will probably now follow the twins' ideal present and how things should have happened from the beginning, that is, we will see an adult Amane being Nene's teacher?

[cozymoko]

Long time DL fan here! It's always a pleasure to read your headcanons because the characterization of the boys is so on point. How would the reckless and social little sister fare with the Mukamis as her brothers? Part of me thinks she'd have more freedom with them than with the Sakamakis but of course Ruki is controlling and protective of his siblings even under normal circumstances and both he and Kou are possessive af so...maybe not?

Thank you for all your hard work <3

RECKLESS, OVERLY SOCIAL LITTLE SISTER

Note: I love you. I love you. I love you! Thank you for reading and I completely agree with that so let's get to it! Enjoy. ♡

Synopsis: This scenario “reckless, overly social little sister ” but Mukami version.

Pairing: platonic Mukami brothers x gn! Sibling reader (feminine pronouns used)

Format: Headcanons

WARNING(S): none

Want more Diabolik lovers? → Masterlist! ★

RUKI MUKAMI

Though not overbearing he is quite strict. Conceivably a bit more than he is to his brothers. As the youngest and only sister in the Mukami household, Ruki finds his behavior to be simply out of love. You are young and impressionable, and he will not allow someone to take advantage of that.

You being overly social was not the most ideal outcome, but he can't complain. It could be worse. Although that doesn't mean, Ruki won't watch your interactions very closely. If you were a bit older, perhaps he'd let lose a little more. Until then your stick with his incessant nagging that every Mukami seemed to have some experience with.

“As long as you follow the rules, I have no qualms with it. However try not to stray too far from my sight, it seems your little endeavors can get a little...me ssy.”

KOU MUKAMI

The two of you are the same, adventure-wise. Kou would take you anywhere you want if you ask him to. But if you steer too far from him, he might be a bit skeptical. Ugh, just the thought of losing you in a crowd is absolutely petrifying! Don't expect him to let you go in any forests or lakes, you're too cute to risk getting injured in any way and it would kill him to see your face with even the tiniest blemish.

Now your chatty side is a different story. Being an idol demands Kou to be social with his peers. But you're not an idol; you're his sweet little sister that should know better than to talk to just anybody. This world is infested with liars and snakes, so it's his job to protect you from them. After all, he can see what others cannot.

“Hm, I'm a little sad. It's almost like my precious baby is growing distant from me~! Is it true, please say it's not!”

YUMA MUKAMI

Everyone has hobbies but Yuma finds yours to be rather concerning, which he reminds you of every single day. And like any "normal" brother he forces you to work long hours with him in his garden in hopes to mellow you out. But of course, it doesn't work so he settles for tagging along with you.

Yuma is the least worried about you making new friends. He taught you how to defend yourself and you being immortal is also a plus. But that doesn't mean he won't beat some ass if they hurt you or your feelings. All in all, as long as you were safe I suppose he won't question you too much.

“What're ya' doin'? Beat their asses already! Tsk, who taught ya' to act so god damn docile? Next time listen to me, will ya'!”

AZUSA MUKAMI

The most supportive brother award goes to Azusa Mukami! No, but seriously, he is your biggest hype man. Amongst the others, he is the most eager to greet you upon your return, not only because he missed you but out of curiosity as well. Though Azusa has no interest in venturing beyond the manor as you do, he still finds attraction in the stories you bring with you.

For someone so into pain he hates seeing you hurt, emotionally at that. Not everyone is as kind as others so you're bound to have a few shitty interactions. And like any other person, it turns your sweet expression sour. It pains him that he can't do much about it but he'll do his very best to take your mind off of it!

“Welcome home, did you have fu...n? Aah, that makes me so happy. Come....tell me more, Ive miss...ed you very much.”

[diacripticcomplex]

Can I request a yandere ayato x yui please? It doesn’t have to be a smut fic but if it is I’m fine either way, thanks (love your writing btw)

Ayato's POV:

I can't think or eat normally, staying away from her might be the only guarantee for her safety. She keeps on trying and trying to get my attention, putting herself in dangerous situations on purpose, she knows that shit pisses me off. All I can think of is her, her deep velvet eyes and the sadness she bears, her creamy skin that I taint with my fangs and her sweet hot blood that quenches my thirst. I know that if this continues I will end up killing her, if she did not mean anything to me I would not give a shit but she means the world to me, I want to slaughter anyone who gets in our way. These bastard Mukami assholes, my brothers, my uncle I dont care..they should all just drop dead, every human ballsack looking guy should die too...she belongs to me, and only me, no one will have her but me. Fuck! Ha, I think I am going insane, I never wanted it to get this bad. I don't want to leave her alone, I want her next to me at all times but I might actually kill her if that is the case..the thought of not being by her side at all times that shit doesn't sit right with me, I don't like the idea of her interacting with anyone but me..

That night, I took a bunch of percs, after thinking it through I decided to slaughter everyone in our path, I started with my lurking Uncle Richter, his presence only made matters worse but killing him was the most challenging, I tore him to pieces limb by limb, then I hurried over to those Mukami bastards, I sniffed 3 lines of cocaine before torturing the those subbreed bastards. Azusa and Kou were easy to kill, I didn't waste my time torturing them, but Ruki's death was to be slow, I wanted to enjoy his agony, cutting out his tongue so I don't have to hear his annoying voice, perhaps I'll cook his tongue and feed it to her..after a few hours of torturing him in front of Yuma I slice his throat and decapitated his head, as well as the other Mukami brothers, I wanted to take their heads and put them on spikes as decorations around the manor, a warning to my brothers, who indeed were next.

After a few more lines of cocaine I was in a frenzy, I decorated the manor gates with their heads. I went back into the manor, she was standing there in horror. "What have you done..!?" she asks in panic and worry, tears in her eyes as she looks away from the sight. I grab her face and make her look at it. "They were in the way, anyone who gets in my way will meet the same fate." I tell her, smiling like a madman probably, she gives me a look of fear, that look does it for me, I kiss her, she resists the kiss, so I pull away and whisper to her "you're not content until they are all gone right? Don't worry, I'll make your wish come true." I told her, my eyes were gleaming into her, that cocaine had me jittery. "No no I dont want anyone else to die.." she makes her pleas, pretending to be this good human and all that crap. "Make no mistake, if I wasn't here these bastards would do as they wish with you, you want that?" I ask her, gripping onto her shoulder blades, she shakes her head then continues to try and defend them I heard enough come from her mouth, I bite her lips, sucking the blood from there until they turn all purple, she passes out after a few moments so I take her into my room and lock her in there, she will wake up to a lovely present.

I took a few more percs, and sniffed the remaining cocaine I had, killing Shu, Reiji and Subaru would be more of a challenge, Laito would expect this and Kanato would be a bitch about it, I'll kill Laito and Kanato quickly, we shared a womb I have to make it a clean and swift death for them. “Ah Ayato, you’ve come to kill me, you’re getting a bit mes-“ Laito began to say but I sliced his head off, Kanato as well, I took their bodies outside and set it a blaze, the fire crackled loudly, this caused Reiji to come out. “Ayato have you lost your mind?!” He went on, I shoved my fingers deep into his eye sockets and tore out his eyeballs, crushing them in my hand, then I pushed Reiji into the fire. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. “..what the fuck have you done..?!” Shu, lazy dull bastard commented, “ha, shu aren’t you scared of fire? I’ll rip your heart out instead” I tell him and yank it out his chest then throw his heart into the fire, his body goes limb and he falls, I burn him too, all that was left was Subaru. He must be hiding.

I began searching the mansion, I made a turn from my room and saw Subaru holding his dagger up to her throat. “Ayato you’ve gone insane, try to kill me and I’ll kill her” he says pressing his dagger to her skin, something in me jolted, I was mad with bloodlust, I did not think, I simply snatched Yui and had her in my grasp now. “She’s mine! Ill fucking kill you, don’t ever touch her again.” I state, I tear off her clothes right in front of Subaru, and start groping her breasts, she tries to cover herself, I grip her wrists so tightly it felt as if her blood circulation would stop, I force my way into her, one hand on her neck, my member deeply in her, she cried and protested the entire time but I wanted Subaru to understand, that I will kill to get what I want, and she is what I want.

[rainisawriter]

Sweet Giant – Rao (ITYc2)

༻ITYC Ficography༺ ༻ITYC Tag

Genre: Comedy, fluff, slice of life

Word Count: 1,986

Pairing: Reader x Rao

World: High&Low

I Trope You! Challenge #: 2 – Furniture Blockade @itropeyou

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“Oi, get back here so I can murder you!”

You cursed under your breath as you ran down the hall of Oya Kou, shoving other students out of the way. You could hear his thundering footsteps getting closer and you knew you had to make a decision before you got caught.

Your eyes darted back and forth across the hall as you looked for an escape route. As soon as you spotted an open door, you darted inside, slamming the door shut. There was a tall wooden storage shelf beside the door and you grabbed it, pulling with all your strength until it fell in front of the door.

You could hear him roaring your name, nearly upon you now. With another curse, you started piling the desks on top of the shelf, jumping back when it started to rattle.

“Get out here, you coward! I’m going to murder you!”

You honestly didn’t doubt it. Yasushi was insane and you knew he might actually kill you if he got his hands on you. You scanned the room, looking for a place to hide. No, he would tear the room apart looking for you.

One of the desks fell off the pile from the sheer force he was using. ‘It’s not going to hold!’ You bit your lip, looking at the window. It was a dumb choice but it was the only choice you had.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the window open, the cold autumn air hitting you in the face. The ground seemed farther than it actually was and you swallowed hard, rethinking your decision.

Yasushi managed to get the door open a crack, his arm slipping through to try and shove the desks out of the way.

It was now or never.

Do or die.

Taking a deep breath, you carefully slipped your leg over the sill. You ducked beneath the window, jumping when the pile of desks were thrown across the room. The shelf scraped across the linoleum floor as the door was slowly pushed open.

You pulled the rest of your body out the window, clutching onto the sill for dear life as you looked over your shoulder at the ground below. The door was finally opened enough for Yasushi to squeeze through and, despite the fear you felt, you couldn’t help but snort at his neon pink hair.

“Hah?! You have the nerve to laugh after what you’ve done?!” He growled, rushing toward you.

You cried out in surprise, jumping from the window. He reached out to you, fingers brushing against yours but he was unable to grab you. Your body hit the ground hard, startling the group of boys standing nearby. They looked at you in shock, eyes wide.

Clenching your teeth in pain, you slapped your hand atop a desk sitting in the courtyard, pulling yourself to your feet. Your ankle protested but you knew Yasushi was making his way toward you and you knew you couldn’t stick around. Taking a deep breath, you forced yourself forward, heading for the school’s gate.

Your number one priority was to get somewhere safe, far away from both Oya and the hot-headed blonde. ‘Well… I suppose he’s a pinkette now,’ you snickered, though it died as soon as you put weight on your ankle. It wasn’t broken, you knew, but it certainly was not having a good time.

Using the wall for support, you walked as quickly as you could.

You could hear Yasushi screaming in the courtyard, demanding to know where you had gone. Oya was notorious for their students being loyal to their own factions. Since you didn’t belong to a faction, they had no loyalty to you and, though they didn’t belong to the YasuKiyo faction, they weren’t dumb enough to go against Oya’s psycho.

They weren’t as dumb as you and that was a bit depressing to think about. To be fair, you had been dared to do it and you weren’t the type of person to stand down from a challenge. 

“When I find you, I’m going to kill you! I know you hear me, you brat!”

You winced, slipping into an alley. You really should have chosen truth instead… Heavy footsteps were heading in your direction and you quickly ducked down beside an overflowing trash can. The smell nearly made you gag but you managed to catch yourself, slapping your hand over your mouth and nose.

The footsteps stopped at the end of the alley and you tensed up, holding your breath. A heavy silence seemed to settle over you for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Was he still there? You were too afraid to check. With your luck, he would be standing on the other side of the trashcan, waiting to grab you as soon as you peer your head around. 

You were nearly out of air and, just as you started to remove your hand to breathe, you heard his boots hitting the pavement, heading away from the alley. Your heart raced within your chest and you continued holding your breath until you couldn’t anymore, sucking in a gulp of air.

As you stood up, you winced in pain. 

What were you supposed to do now? Yasushi wasn’t the type of man who forgave easily and he never forgets when he’s been wronged. You’d have to avoid Oya for a while. 

Possibly even the rest of your life.

You sighed deeply, running a hand through your hair. “I’m such a dumbass.”

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You fell onto the curb with a sigh, suppressing a shiver when the wind picked up. The sun was low on the horizon, barely visible behind the buildings. Leaves littered the ground, an ombre of orange, brown and red. They scraped across the ground whenever the wind blew, the sound echoing through the quiet night.

You untied your shoe, hissing as you slid it off your foot. Even with your sock on, you could tell it was swollen and it was sore to the touch. All you wanted to do was return home and curl up under your warm comforter. How could you, though, when you lived right next door to the psycho you had pissed off? The walls were thin and he’d definitely hear it if you came home.

You groaned, falling back onto the sidewalk and closing your eyes. The cement was ice-cold through your clothes, bringing goosebumps to your skin. Thunder rumbled softly in the distance and you groaned again. Normally, you adored the rain, but not when it was cold outside and you had nowhere safe to stay.

The sound of footsteps made you tense up but you didn’t open your eyes, hoping that it wasn’t Yasushi come to actually end your existence. 

“Hey, are you okay?”

You released the breath you had been holding when you realized it wasn’t him. Opening your eyes, you found an extremely tall, well-built guy towering over you. He was looking down at you with no expression, though you could see a hint of worry lingering in her dark eyes.

“Oh, uh, yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” You offered him a sheepish smile as you pulled yourself up into a sitting position. As you slid your foot back into your shoe, you hissed in pain.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re okay,” he commented, squatting down beside you so he could see your foot better. He still towered over you easily and you hoped he had no beef with Oya.

If he did, there was no way you could hold your own against this guy. He was just radiating raw strength and power – it was almost stifling.

“What happened?” he wondered, glancing at you.

“I, uh… fell…” You rubbed the back of your neck, finding it hard to admit that you had jumped from the second floor just to avoid the consequences of your actions. “But I’m fine!” You replied quickly, pulling yourself to your feet. “Excuse me.”

You bowed your head to him before turning and starting down the street. Only… your ankle chose that moment to decide it had had enough, giving out beneath you. You closed your eyes, waiting to hit the cold cement.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist, holding you against a firm chest. Warm breath hit your ear when he spoke. “Let me help you home.”

“Ah, no, that’s not necessary…” You forced a smile, trying to pull away. He allowed you to do so, yet he kept his hand on your arm just in case.

“You can’t walk,” he frowned, brow furrowed. 

“I can’t go home right now, okay? I’ll just…” you rubbed the back of your neck with a frown, glancing at the opposite end of the street. “Find a park or somethin’.”

“It’s supposed to rain tonight. You’ll catch your death if you spend the night in the park.” Rao scanned you, considering for a moment. Many kids who came to the orphanage were running from abusive families and he had to wonder if you were doing the same.

To him, you were clearly lying about how you came to be injured. Now, you claimed you couldn’t go home, choosing instead to weather the cold instead.

“You can stay with me.”

Your head snapped toward him, eyes wide, and he realized he had phrased it poorly.

Shifting his weight, he motioned toward the orphanage behind him. “We have spare rooms. You can stay here tonight.”

You glanced at the building, taking note of several older kids peering out the window curiously. When they saw you, they darted back behind the curtain. “Are you sure that’s okay?”

He nodded, getting a firm grip on your arm before he began leading you toward the building.

“Thank you,” you replied softly before introducing yourself to him.

He smiled down at you, his brown eyes warm. “My name is Mario. Misaki Mario.”

“Nice to meet you, Misaki-san.”

“Just call me Mario,” he told you softly, pushing the door open. Several kids were peaking their heads around the doorway, looking at you curiously. When he noticed them, he frowned. “You guys are supposed to be in bed.”

“We were curious, nii-chan,” replied a young girl with black hair. Her dark eyes met yours and she frowned. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you replied with a small smile. “Just hurt my ankle.”

“I’ll get the ice pack!” She stated before turning and rushing off.

“No fair, I wanted to get it!” cried a young boy as he rushed after her.

“I’ll get the pain meds.”

“I’ll grab a blanket!”

“I’ll get the snacks!”

Rao chuckled, shaking his head before leading you over to the living room where an old couch sat. It was full of holes and it creaked sadly when you sat down. “Prop your foot up on the table.”

You lifted your foot and –

“Take your shoe off first,” he scolded, reaching forward to pull it off. When he realized what he was doing, he paused, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. “Sorry, habit.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled, surprised by how gentle and cute such a massive guy could be.

The children came rushing into the room, carrying various items they believed would help, including toys and a card game. After propping your foot up on the table with a pillow beneath it, you were given some pain meds and some water. The young girl gently sat the ice pack on your ankle and you winced at how cold it was.

“Thank you, everyone,” you smiled gently at the group, hugging the worn teddy bear one of the smaller boys had given you for comfort. 

“You’re welcome!” They chorused.

“Alright, back to bed,” ordered Rao, shooing the kids toward the door despite their protests. 

You sunk farther down on the couch with a smile, eyes closed as you hugged the teddy bear. Maybe pissing off Yasushi hadn’t been such a bad thing, after all.

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-> High&Low/Rampage Taglist: @kiraaaeon, @simpforchuchu, @star2fishmeg, @thatpoindexterpixy @manhwabtch

-> General Taglist: @asterhaze, @mrskenpachizaraki

[onlyrains]

[10:43pm]

— t/w: mention of blood

“hey,”

todoroki turned his head after hearing a very familiar voice.

“what are you doing here?” he approaches you in a blink.

you suddenly nervous and start kicking pebbles instead of answer him quickly. then his eyes land on your bleeding knees right away.

he frowns and his face shows a little anger.

“do you have some—”

he pull you to the sofa on the corner of the room. “sit down.” he insist. you comply him.

you can't help to bite your bottom lip when he takes a first aid box and place it beside you.

he kneel in front of you. not a single word leave his mouth while he cleans your wound and it makes you more anxious cause his face is still full of anger. you think he might blow up anytime.

“why you still here at this time? are you going—”

“why are you here at this time?” he doesn't let you finish your sentence for the second time. his voice was so low then you know he’s trying to hold back everything.

“i wanted to see you.” you answer him softly. he pauses and look into your eyes.

“and you went here instead of my house?”

“i wasn’t far from here. and i thought it's not impossible to meet you here so i came,”

“but this is oya kou, stupid, you know that?”

you give him a little smile. “i know.”

“it's dangerous.”

“i know.”

he breathes heavily and starts to put alcohol on your knee. your eyes still glued on him and you watch every move he make, not even bothered by the burning feels on your knee.

“where were you?” he asks. you contemplating whether is it better to lie or not.

“don't you dare to lie to me.” he surely can read your mind.

“i had a little matter with a senior in my school.” you look down at your thighs which are covered in a knee length skirt. “i hate her so much you don't understand.” you ramble make him chuckles a bit.

“your hand.” he held out his hand, asking for yours.

you give him a confuse look but still put your right hand on his.

he cleans a little scratch on your knuckles and put a plaster on it. “oh…”

you didn't know there was a scratch there.

he starts to tidy up the box and you watch him so carefully. you can feel the love he gives and the sparks in your chest while receiving it. but then guilt starts spreading and covered all the feeling you felt before. little did he know, you know everything about his feelings. you know he cares so much and constantly worries about you. you know he would kill and he already gave up so many things for you. he is head over heels.

but you also know that you can't accept it. you just don't deserve it. at least not now.

“don’t do stupid things.” he says after he sat beside you. “stop making me worried, can't you?”

“i'm sorry.” you look at his eyes.

his face changed. “don't say sorry if you're going to keep doing this.” he says with a serious tone.

you hold your breath and your body become rigid. does he know?

“doing what?” you ask.

“this shitty matter.” he flicks your knee making you groan.

“it hurts, you moron!” you shout.

he laughs lightly. little did you know, he is already knew everything about you too.

note: im very sorry for the grammar error, english is not my first language :”)

[hanako-san]

Why do you think Amane killed tsukasa

One of the reasons is love and the desire to protect, even now after Amane's death he made Tsukasa his yorishiro. Yorishiros are the most precious 'thing' belonging to the mysteries school. This is 'something' that is dear to them and they hold close to their hearts.

Amane's words to Tsukasa are proof that he did not do it out of hatred for him, but out of love and went with him immediately committing suicide after his murder.

Amane, in a moment of doubt that this is ' not his brother', still wants to protect him. This is the pure love of an older brother for his younger brother.

Amane said at the beginning of the story that he must have had a special reason.

Here Amane is clear to me he killed because he had a reason, but even if he did it his body language clearly says 'I didn't want it, but I had to for a special reason' it's as if Amane wanted to protect Tsukasa and someone from something or someone still does it.

Amane's body language makes it clear that he was forced and chose to do this, but for what reason? What prompted him? Being beaten by Tsukasa? It's possible… maybe this faint shadow of a god that Tsukasa has brought down the family to such an extent that the parents took their own lives or something killed them forcing them to do it. Just like Amane had to be forced, but the reasons may be different, I have some suggestions, but the answer for me is protection and love for Tsukasa, which Amane finally showed, and it was visible, you just had to see it.

This house is quite strange, in the times where kou and yashiro live, it was known that this house would lead to murder, as Teru said, so I wouldn't be surprised if this house, together with the possessed Tsukasa, did something that led to the tragedy.

Mother and Amane knew something was wrong. Amane, who was repairing clock no.1, knew about strange supernatural phenomena. It all happens that this family was sure that something was wrong, but even when they begged for help and one of them knew that the mother was right and didn't react, it ended in tragedy.

I think Yugi's family was trying to get on with what was going on between them and Amane secretly wanted to find another way out of the situation, but it was interrupted and the only solution was the murder later.

Amane looks like he was really forced to do this, but he didn't want to, what about his parents? Have they lost their minds? Where are they? Do they still exist or maybe they are still at home?

I think these questions are also important because it's about the whole family, which seems to be overlooked. That's why I think the whole family ended tragically.

It also seems to me that the shadow of the god that Tsukasa has inside him led to the tragedy, using Tsukasa, of course, and the twins' love. Amane and Tsukasa love each other so much that they are willing to make the greatest sacrifices so that they can live together and protect each other. Their love is truly deep despite the misunderstandings between them. I believe that this weak 'god' just wants to regain his strength and uses the twins for this purpose, Tsukasa's murder could have been caused by this god for a special reason.

Their powers' connection with this god is not accidental. This weak god could have caused a tragedy, and Amane, regretting it, simply agreed as Hanako-san to redeem himself. Tsukasa wants to fulfill Amane's wish, and Amane wants to protect him, and I believe that Tsukasa is taking advantage of the evil that Tsukasa is in, knowing that Tsukasa and Amane are ready for anything. If Tsukasa destroys all yorishiros, evil can regain its strength.

That's not all, I think that sakura and natsuhiko could be involved in some way.

In short: I believe Amane was forced to do this. Tsukasa/the house or both could have contributed to this. a god who wants to regain his former glory will do anything. I believe Amane did it to protect Tsukasa and did it out of love. He protects him even in death as his yorishiro and confessed to him that he does not want to lose him. Tsukasa has something in him and he wants to bring the twins back using their strong bond. Both of them will do everything to protect themselves.

Something really doesn't feel right about this whole story, something is missing in my opinion.

I hope it's at least complicated? my answer might be. Regards. Thanks for the ask

[tsukasalvr]

Hey!!! It's 🇧🇷 anon here! How are you?

⠀

Can I request Hanako and Tsukasa Yugi with an s/o that is from Demon Slayer? Like... S/o is from Demon Slayer and somehow ended up in Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun... I've been brainroting this for a long time idk why...

If you don't want to make this request, that's fine

s/o from demon slayer

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Characters: Hanako, Tsukasa Yugi

Warnings: I don’t proofread

A/n: this one person in my third period is kinda fine and Im trying soo hard to get close to them

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Hanako

It was night and Hanako was wandering around the empty halls, and when he was passing the back door he heard a loud crash.

‘Did some lone break in?’ He wondered and went through the door to tave a look, and was shocked to see a person laying near the garden. He flew over to them quickly and was confused by their attire. It seemed to be a uniform but not one he recognizes, and your haori as well, you don’t see people with those here as much

When he heard you groan in pain he stood in front of your head. When you opened your eyes you were greeted with a ghost boy leaning over you smiling

Hanako was suspicious of you I mean you were flaming to be from the Taisho era and had a sword on you—maybe this was some big scheme to get rid of him

But his suspicions vanished when he saw how sincere and honest you were, and when you demonstrated your breathing style, he fully believe you since it didn’t seem to hurt him

He becomes curious and asks questions about demons and will ask to play with the sword you have to scare Kou

“Man eating demons? And you decided to join the corps to kill them? How noble of you!” He praises you since from what you told him of the past missions you’ve had and described how some slayers were brutally killed, he thinks it’s very kind of you risk your life for others

Will boast about you to Kou and how you’re so awesome and will ask you to show off your breathing style and say how it’s the prettiest thing ever

Even though he’s been dead for years and still doesn’t know some modern things, he will tease you for not knowing something even though he doesn’t know either and will call you old to tease you

“It must get so hot to be in that stuffy uniform all the time, if you want you can take it off!” Hanako said cheekily with warm cheeks

Tsukasa Yugi

Tsukasa was bored, and he was looking out the window that had a full view to the garden. He was tapping at the window at each star he saw in the night sky. But with every tap, he would get even more bored

His eyes were directed a bright light in the garden, his eyes shined with interest when he saw what looked like a portal and a disheveled person with a sword come out of it, and once they were fully out, the portal was immediately shut

Tsukasa immediately went outside, he was very excited. When he went out to see you, he was greeted with the tip of a sword pointing at his neck. He smiled devilishly at you and explained who he was and you did too

You were so interesting to him so he would constantly cling on you and keep you in the broadcasting room. He once licked the sword because of the color

Will ask you to use your breathing styles in the school but when you tell him it can get dangerous, he just brings you to a secret place where it’s only you and him so you can show him

Will ask you about the Taisho period and demons. He learned you came here because of a demon you were fighting who had the power to summon portals.

“So it’s filled with demons who humans? Woah!” He says in awe while stuffing his mouth with honey glazed blueberry muffins then stuffed it into your mouth when he took a bite

Honestly wouldn’t want you to leave, you’re too fascinating to him and with you gone it’ll be too boring.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

Headcanons about Sakamaki and Mukami hands please 🙏

touch by touch: sakamaki and mukami hands headcanons

tw: a bit nsfw

SHUU

-his hands are rough... but not as rough as what you'd imagine cause he carries this small tube of hand cream that he uses as his mini perfume

-however, you can feel his calluses due to playing the violin. well he doesn't play that much anymore but the calluses are still there to remind him of the child he was back then

-but boy what he does with his fingers will make you wild (I'll leave it up to your imagination 😉)

REIJI

-one might think Reiji's hands are soft bcos he always maintains cleanliness everywhere he goes

-nah his hands are dry like the Sahara desert cause of his frequent usage of alcohol c/o of the things he experiments

-would even try to compensate for these dry hands by using gloves while washing the dishes like those Asian moms (mommyreijiinthehouse)

-so yeah he's the typical rough hand that could touch your skin and make you melt as he chokes you into oblivion bcos he wants you to subject to him

AYATO

-hmm sometimes his hands are sweaty especially when he's nervous and that is really rare or maybe his hands are sweaty due to excitement or adrenaline rush cause our red boy's full of spunk

-he actually takes care of his hands tho, especially his nails bcos basketball players aren't allowed to have long nails

-would even go as far as to apply a clear shiny coat on them bcos he doesn't like seeing them chipped off

-even got Yui into doing this kind of thing bcos couple goals ✨

KANATO

-as someone who is a fan of fingers and such, this purple gremlin takes care of his hands

-after all, he knows how hands can have a significant impact on the way you touch and tease someone

-doesn't matter if his hand is composed of paper pale skin or bony fingers that look like they can easily bend and break as long as he manages to ghost you with his touch

-yeah like his touches and carrases are gentle but the way he skins you alive with his knife is harsh and painful

-also uses a hand cream with the same brand like Shuu's

LAITO

-HOARDER OF HAND CREAMS

-this guy has prob the most beautiful hands out of all bros like he really takes care of them

-yeah bcos this beautiful boy wants to do anything that would make him the center of attention

-diva

-his hands are not too bony nor muscular??? they're just the perfect fit

-well until he decides to do something terrible to you with them

SUBARU

-you know those hand descriptions that say "rough and muscular with veins protruding"?

-yep that's our bby car right here

-like his whole body, even his hands, should show any amount of rage he always keeps inside like the constipated man he is

-ofc there are a few bruises here and there

-as if they don't heal cause pureblood vampire genes

-guess how many people he has killed with them

RUKI

-papercuts, lots of them

-I wanna say something interesting like rough with a few bony fingers and veins popping up every time he cuts a vegetable

-but nah all this guy has are papercuts

KOU

-the same with Laito

-like btch he has an idol image to maintain so might as well take care of any part of his body so he could sell well

-talk abt exploitation jk

-he actually practiced giving himself manicures for years until he can finally flaunt them btchass fingernails 💅

-even got the signature Doja Cat nails bcos he found out some idols use them to pick their nose

-eventually removed them cause it only makes his nose bleed

YUMA

-BIG 👀

-like I swear when he spreads it out, it covers Azusa's whole face and his bros would reprimand him to be careful with them

-cause one tight grasp of his hands and he'll be sending someone to the hospital soon

-he accidentally broke one of his classmates bones by trying to pull them when they're about to get bumped by the crowd during cultural festival

AZUSA

-wounds everywhere

-I swear all of em are traced like constellations in the sky but this time constellations on his bony hands

-prob even named them after constellations too

-"Ruki what does this one look like?"

-"like Spica"

-"okay your name is Spica"

-but he will realize soon enough that it's futile to have wounds in his hands bcos it hinders movement

-so he went back to his bff Justin and added more friends there so he won't be lonely 🫂

[redsavant]

Though I Am An Inept Villainess (Nakamura Satsuki)

"In the Kingdom of Ei, five clans put forth their maidens as imperial consorts--but only one will be crowned empress. Just when frail and beautiful "court butterfly" Kou Reirin seems poised to marry the crown prince, jealous "court rat" Shu Keigetsu steals her body! Reirin wakes up in the dungeons as the conspirator, and things look dire…or do they? Now that she's got a robust new body, not even the looming threat of execution can stop her!"

Since this series has basically no presence on the English-speaking net that I can find, I figured I should try to get the name out there. Inept Villainess is the story of a head consort-in-training in a not-historical-China rear palace who gets body-swapped with the lowest-ranked consort-in-training, and from there, she works to figure out how to get back to her own body and also stop an assassination or two while she's at it.

One thing to note up front is that this series wears its influences strongly on its sleeve for the first two or so books, The Apothecary Diaries most noticeably. It's not quite as realistic in setting or heavy in tone as Kusuriya, which might strike some readers as disappointing, but on the flip side, if you were hoping for magic in Kusuriya, you're in luck here.

But what's it about? Why the tags? The story starts out with Reirin, darling princess of the Kou clan and favorite to win the crown prince's favor as Empress, getting bodyswapped with Keigetsu, the envious and widely disliked Maiden of the Shu clan. The first two books of the light novel (first four manga volumes) center around Reirin, an absolute dynamo now that she has a body that isn't actively trying to kill itself, trying to get her own body back because she feels bad that Keigetsu, a socially awkward and abrasive girl, is stuck in said body-trying-to-kill-itself, while trying to not out herself since Daoist magic is frowned upon. Thus, Reirin takes it upon herself to be a villainess - though she's not a very good one.

The first two books are honestly a little weak! Some clunky exposition and a slight feeling of making Reirin Too Good For This Sinful Earth may put people off, and if you're hoping for yuri, the possessive crown prince Gyoumei and handsome crownguard Shin-u might rub you the wrong way. But forge ahead! As soon as the second arc begins, which sees Reirin and Keigetsu teaming up with their unique skills to bust more conspiracies around the Maiden Court, the chemistry doesn't stop sparking. Make it through the first two books and you're in for a treat, as the character writing only gets better and better. There's even a confession in LN volume 5 - though there's plenty of affection between Reirin and Keigetsu before that. (And I can't not mention the canonical lesbian love story in volume 2!)

If you like the sound of A) a bisexual polycule branching out from a central WLW couple with realistic and layered personalities, bouncing off of a lot of very colorful supporting characters; B) magic-assisted scrapes and conspiracies, wuxia-lite action, and scoundrels getting comeuppance; C) prose that can handle swinging from character jokes to taking a quite realistic look at issues like abuse, forgiveness (whether and how to give it), the pressure to conform to a role you don't know if you're ready for, and other such topics, check the series out! As of this posting there's been no announcement for an anime, but the light novels are translated into English up to volume 7.

[ninjagrace]

what’s ur favorite scenario to dream about with mtsk and death (kou dying, specifically)

YOU. YOU GET ME.

i’m gonna start this off with saying that kou minamoto is literally my favorite character ever so don’t think i’m doing this because i hate him i just think about him way too much and this is where i end up after thinking for too long

i have SO MUCH to say about this but i’m gonna throw it under the cut bc i don’t wanna catch ppl off guard with my insane bullshit

if ur reading this and u get upset it’s ur own fault /hj

alright SO

first off kou definitely should’ve died during the pp arc just for shits and giggles. it would’ve been like a “what the fuck just happened” for every character and the whole fandom and the chaos that would’ve ensued from the death of a major character would’ve been absolutely WILD- like bitch just killed himself. he straight up committed suicide. there’s no way of rephrasing that bc that’s what he did. it would’ve been a plot-shattering moment and really just heartbreaking and awful and aidairo could’ve done so much with it.

for one, mitsuba would’ve been very Not Ok because he would’ve blamed himself for kou dying and he’d definitely try to gaslight himself into believing kou was still alive- that would not work btw he’d just be in insane denial

anyway imma move on from that arc even though i could go into it so much deeper and focus on things that i could see happening just to make the story hella interesting (i’ve been very tempted to write a fic about this so beware)

i think the most likely ways kou would die would either be suicide or being killed by tsukasa. we’ve already seen him attempt to kill himself, thwarted by mitsuba then brushed aside for some reason, and i’m about to do a full ass analysis on why tsukasa should murder our boy :3

reiterating that I LOVE KOU MINAMOTO WITH MY WHOLE HEART HES PERFECT

okay so tsukasa. hes a silly guy. one of his main traits is he loves to fuck with people, right? right yeah whatever get to the point IM WORKING ON IT ok sorry anyway he’s silly right. he thrives off fucking people up as much as possible. since he knows fucking everything i’m gonna assume he knows how important kou is to mitsuba and, given the fact that it’s so easy to fuck with mitsuba, he’d know that messing with kou in some way would make the biggest impact. every way he messes up mitsuba’s (after)life doesn’t emotionally impact him for too long, given the fact that he and kou with it out every time. but what happens when we take out the support system? that’s what we wanna know.

so ofc tsukasa feels all silly goofy and takes out kou just for funzies. mitsuba is absolutely fucking destroyed in every way. he blames himself, duh. this splits off into 2 possible scenarios that i’ve created lol.

possibility one: mitsuba stays in his boundary for god knows how long, refusing to talk to anyone. eventually he goes to shijima, begging for a replacement kou. even if hes fake, it’s better than nothing, right? shijima understood his grief, in a way. so, she gave in. boom. kou copy. the rest was none of her business.

kou copy only knows what shijima knows about him, so let’s go with everything up until the end of the picture perfect arc. he has no idea about anything after, including the aquarium date, the far shore incident, and the supernaturals being banished from the near shore in the first place, and it’s fine that way. …right? well, that means he also doesn’t know that he’s supposed to be dead.

he keeps asking mitsuba when he can leave the boundary and go home, when he can go see senpai, when he can see his brother, and he’s very upset. mitsuba has no idea what to do. he was overjoyed to have his crush best friend back that he didn’t even think of what would happen after… he couldn’t let kou out of the boundary. that was out of the question. keeping kou here would make him miserable and make him hate mitsuba. so at this point they’re stuck in a cycle of shouting matches of wether or not kou is allowed to leave, periods of silence, and occasional truces because they both need someone to keep them sane, and who else can do it but each other?

possibly 2: supernaturals are a thing in this world, so why can’t kou be one too? even though tsukasa is the one who killed kou in the first place, mitsuba begs him to bring kou back, to make kou a supernatural just like mitsuba. mitsuba knows what being a supernatural feels like. he knows that just letting kou go would be so much better for the dumb blonde boy. he knows that kou deserves better than to be forced to live in a world that doesn’t want him anymore. but mitsuba is selfish. so tsukasa makes kou into a supernatural. for funzies, you know? he’d never worked with a human corpse before, so why not try out making one into a supernatural?

the process of making a supernatural is… messy. mitsuba now knows this, as he couldn’t look away from his boyfriend being made into one. it was horrific. i’m not gonna delve into it because i really don’t wanna think about that i’m so sorry my poor baby

just like with mitsuba, tsukasa didn’t have kou’s actual soul to work with, just supernatural parts and kou’s body. it was simply an animated puppet that looked like kou minamoto. “it’s fine,” mitsuba said, “it’s okay, he’s back, that what matters, right?” “it’ll be fine, right minamoto?” and as he looks to kou for support, all he gets in response is a blank look. he realizes, after staring in horror at the jagged scar on kou’s neck, that his vocal chords are absolutely fucked up beyond repair. he’d never hear kou’s voice again.

thanks for reading and i’m so sorry <3

[mari-lair]

I love that zombie extra! I believe Teru didn't take Kou seriously, much less understood what Kou had tried to imply, since his answer wasn't related to the idea of them losing their humanity, jumping straight into the destruction of humankind.

The shrine joke also had the destruction of humankind as his main point.

In both cases he is only half joking: He won't kill anyone, we never see him injure other humans, much less display killing intent towards them, there is a reason the school sees him as a kind boy, (Akane is a special case, I talk about why he is a dick to Akane: Here), but part of Teru genuinely wants humanity to cease to exist.

Even the characters seem to sense this isn't fully a joke.

Teru's reaction to Kou's question was "Eh?- in that case", not taking his eyes off the movie, so he is more focused on the movie than Kou and his question, but Kou had gone "You can't do that..." and looked away from the movie, acting like it was a confession instead of a joke. Akane and priest Kunishige also did not like the vibes Teru was giving, unable to dismiss his words as merely dark humor.

The context in which Teru jokes is important too. At the shrine, he jokes after the idea of cutting ties with the shrine, essentially quitting his job, is brought up

This job fucked up his life since he was 8, making it impossible for him to be normal. Even free time was scarce, so I am very inclined to say part of him resents it.

'The right and heroic thing to do' is something that doesn't come naturally to Teru, but he consistently has to go out of his way to choose to do it, doing his job for years.

The only part of the job that he seems to connect with is slaying supernaturals. The most destructive and instinct-related part of the job is the one he claims to be "cut out for".

It doesn't seem 'fun', Teru even sighs when he shares that he is good at killing spirits. But he doesn't hate it. That's something.

In the zombie extra, he makes this 'joke' while he is having fun with his family, seeing fictional people be destroyed. He has been struggling to dutifully play the role of the "hero that destroys monsters" every day so he can't find escapism on the idea of slaying zombies.

Destroying everything for destruction sake, with no obligation or honor behind it seems far more fun.

And doing it with Kou? That would be nice.

Now, let's go over his reaction to Kou bringing up the idea of being a supernatural.

This isn't a movie. This is his little bro, the main motivation he has for slaying supernaturals despite not being something he personally like spitting in his face by asking "What if I threw all your efforts away? What if your determination was for nothing?"

Kou being a supernatural would be a big defeat to Teru, not a fun idea he wants to join in, so I don't think Teru would be a supernatural too if Kou became one.

...We have no solid panels that indicate what his reaction could be, but I headcanon it would make him quit his job and try to either protect supernatural Kou or make him move on peacefully.

(perhaps even try to gain the courage to exorcise him? I am not sure about this one, but since Teru seems to pity supernaturals, claiming it's 'hard to look' at their desperate attempts to linger to the Near Shore, and most supernaturals treat being exorcised by a loved one as a good thing, he may do it if Kou asks??)