Tumgik
#kth tgtbt
blackswan18 · 2 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 54  kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 5.5k
warnings: pure unadulterated joy
Chapter 54: Too Goo To Be True - Part 2
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
You turned towards Tae and found him already looking back at you, an expectant, slightly nervous expression on his face. Wordlessly, he brought your hand up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to your fingertips. The small, but intimate gesture meant the absolute world to you for you knew exactly what he was saying: no matter what happens, I will always love you. After giving your hand one final, encouraging squeeze, he released it and then peered down. Following his gaze, you stared at the mysterious envelope for several moments before you finally took a deep, steadying breath and broke its seal. Slowly, with trembling hands, you pulled out a document which you recognized immediately.
Your contract.
Initially, you were relieved that you were not holding what you previously thought might be court papers detailing the lawsuit Big Hit was filing against you. However, a heavy blanket of unease settled over you as you considered the possibility that Bang PD intended to go through your numerous contract violations before officially serving you. As you sat there, wincing as you tallied them all up in your head, your heart began hammering in your chest uncontrollably.
“Could you please turn to Section IX on page 15,” Bang PD asked in a calm voice which did absolutely nothing to settle your nerves.
Knowing exactly what was outlined in that section, your heart sank as you realized your suspicions were likely correct. You nodded your head in reply, not trusting your voice, and then silently flipped through the pages until you came to the one in question.
On the original paper version of your contract, which was at home tucked away in a drawer somewhere, this page was dotted with blotches of smeared ink. It was almost illegible in some places, the letters from one line bleeding down into the next, but that mattered not. By the time the words were sharp enough to draw tears, they had already etched themselves onto your heart. Even now, after months spent trying to ignore their existence, you could recite them from memory in excruciating detail.
Section IX: Idol / Trainee Fraternization Policy
In order to protect the well-being of all employees and retain the professional working environment at all times, Big Hit Entertainment Co. Ltd. upholds a strict fraternization policy regarding the formation of relationships between staff members and idols / trainees.
Staff members are encouraged to develop and maintain professional relationships with idols / trainees, and may even develop personal friendships, so long as these relationships do not interfere with the work performance of either individual or with the effective functioning of the workplace.
However, romantic relationships and/or sexual interactions of any kind are expressly prohibited between staff members and idols / trainees. Such relationships put at risk the fundamental interest of every employee to work in an environment free from conflicts of interests, favoritism, and/or exploitation.
Failure to comply with this policy will result in immediate termination of employment. Employees may report suspected policy violations anonymously through the online portal.
Those were the words that had haunted you for years, the ones that echoed in your mind and stifled the growth of that tiny flicker of hope every time Tae said or did something sweet. They were the words that reminded you again and again of just how much you had to lose, the ones that bound your heart in fear and doubt and hesitation. They were the words that almost kept you from the love of your life, the ones that still sought to tear you apart.
However, they were not the words written on the page before you.
You stilled, your breath catching and the erratic beating of your heart coming to a sudden and jarring halt, as the realization hit you like a freight train.
This was not the contract you signed three years ago.
This was a new contract.
A new contract with new rules.
The first time you read through the words on the page in front of you, you refused to accept they were real, convinced that your mind was playing the cruelest of tricks on you.
The second time you read them, you did so slowly and skeptically, terrified that at any moment they would vanish like disappearing ink, taking with them the very last shred of your sanity.
The third time you read them, though, tears welled up in your eyes as you finally allowed yourself to acknowledge their meaning.
Section IX: Acknowledgement of Pre-existing Relationship with Idol Kim Taehyung
Big Hit Entertainment Co. Ltd. acknowledges the pre-existing romantic relationship between the contractee and idol Kim Taehyung and hereby exempts it from the idol / trainee fraternization policy which prohibits romantic relationships between staff members and idols / trainees.
The aforementioned relationship will instead be subjected to the general workplace fraternization policy outlining the appropriate conduct for coworkers engaging in consensual romantic relationships as detailed in Section XI.
All relationships between the contractee and other idols / trainees will be subjected to the idol / trainee fraternization policy as otherwise upheld.
“Jagi?” Tae softly called from beside you, his voice laden with concern.
“Sweetheart, what does it say?” he asked a moment later as he reached over and took your hand again, carefully lacing his fingers with yours.
“It…it says...,” you began before a lump formed in your throat and words failed you entirely.
“It says she can stay,” Bang PD finally answered for you, his voice warm and gentle.
“What? ” Tae breathed out, sounding completely awestruck.
“Y/N can remain here at Big Hit as your stylist and continue being in a relationship with you,” the older man explained as a small smile crept onto his face.
“A relationship that doesn’t have to be a secret,” he then added.
“Y-You really mean it?” Tae asked in disbelief, his eyes wide and pleading. “We…we can be together?”
“You can,” Bang PD assured him.
Reading the words on the page had been one thing, but hearing them spoken from Bang PD himself was something else entirely. The moment they left his lips, tears started pouring out of you. It all just felt so surreal, the idea that you were going to be allowed to be with Tae and also be with him. It was something you had only ever imagined in your wildest dreams.
After scooting his chair closer to yours, Tae reached over and wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. As you buried your face in his shoulder and continued to softly cry, he placed loving kisses on the top of your head. You remained there like that for almost a minute before you regained your composure. Lifting your head up off of Tae’s shoulder, you wiped away your tears, took a deep breath, and looked over at Bang PD who had been patiently waiting this whole time.
“T-Thank you,” you said, your voice hoarse and shaky. “This is such an incredible and generous offer. It’s truly beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.”
“But, are you...are you sure?” you then asked quietly. “You said you were worried about the optics and the potential backlash and I...I am too. I love my job and I love Tae and I want nothing more than to stay here with him, but I don’t want to cause trouble for you or for him or for anyone else.”
“Y/N, I do appreciate your concern, but please believe me when I say that I am very sure of this decision,” Bang PD said, giving you a reassuring smile. “The person I met with this morning convinced me that having you here with Taehyung will be best for the two of you both personally and professionally and is also confident that news of your relationship will be generally well-received.”
“They think you complement each other very well and make a great team,” he began explaining. “They feel you’ve played an integral role in his ability to withstand the stress and pressure that comes with being an idol and that you’ve helped him stay grounded and motivated over the years. They also think he has helped with your development as a stylist and that your creativity and confidence has blossomed in part because of his influence and support.”
“If the purpose of the rule barring involvement between staff and idols is to maintain a safe work environment and ensure that everyone can stay focused and perform to the best of their abilities, then it really doesn’t make sense to apply it in this situation given that you’re clearly in a loving, consensual relationship which brings out the best in both of you and helps you do your jobs exceedingly well,” he then stated rather bluntly.
“As for how others will respond, my informer actually doesn’t think people on the BTS team will be all that surprised to learn you’re together,” he went on to reveal with a little chuckle. “It might not have been obvious to anyone that you began legitimately dating, but it has apparently always been obvious that you’re extremely close and rather affectionate towards one another, you in particular, Taehyung.”
“Honestly, they think people have suspected for some time you were at least harboring crushes on one another, if not deeper feelings, which partially explains why everyone was so shocked when Tae and Jisoo began ‘dating’,” he continued thoughtfully. “They said that people long ago accepted your relationship, however informal it might have been and despite the fact that it was technically not allowed, and that they believe people will be equally accepting of it once it’s official and contractually legal.”
Initially, his words caught you off guard, but as they sank in you realized that this assertion really wasn’t all that far-fetched. None of the other guys had been surprised when you told them you were dating. The only thing they were surprised about was that it took so long for it to happen. Jimin was the only one to whom Tae actually expressed his feelings about you, but the others managed to pick up on everything all on their own.
Thinking through things, you decided that Eunji and Donghae were another two people that likely would not be all that surprised to discover you and Tae were together. Strangely enough, they had been incredibly sympathetic and even somewhat angry when Tae and Jisoo revealed their ‘relationship’. At the time, you just thought they felt bad that you were being forced to spend time with someone so unpleasant, but looking back now, you realized there was clearly more to it.
During that long and terrible month the two of them frequently inquired about your love life and also encouraged you to set up more Tinder dates and get drinks with them after work so you could meet someone. They often did that right in front of Tae in what was now a painfully obvious attempt at making him jealous. Their scheming was, of course, quite unnecessary given that you two were actually already dating, though, it definitely still had an effect on him, evoking a possessiveness which manifested in the most pleasurable of ways when you got home.
For years they had playfully teased you about your relationship with Tae, noting how often he flirted with you and also calling you out for flirting right back. You always brushed them off, and assumed they regarded your flirtation as totally harmless, but perhaps they had suspected more than they were letting on. They were, after all, your best friends here at Big Hit. If anyone was paying close enough attention to see the truth, surely it would have been them.
However, even people outside of yours and Tae’s close friends seemed to have caught on over the years, the most notable being none other than Hyun. A few weeks after the incident on the roof, he had contacted you and asked if you would be up for grabbing coffee sometime, not as a date, but just to talk. You agreed and met up with him a few days later down in the café at Big Hit.
The first thing he did was apologize again for his behavior, but he also then said that, while he still deeply regretted his actions, he was grateful that he now had the opportunity to learn from his mistakes and do better. He asked if you would be willing to answer some questions about how you felt when he said or did certain things over the years and you said yes. The two of you then spent an hour talking about a host of topics related to dating like the different ways people express interest, the assumptions often made on both sides, and the pitfalls for miscommunication. It ended up being a really great conversation, one that you felt was truly productive for both of you.
Towards the end, Hyun mentioned that Tae had come to see him in the editing room the Monday after everything happened. While he didn’t specifically use the word ‘threaten’, he did say that Tae made it crystal clear that he would no longer have a job at Big Hit, or anywhere else in the entertainment industry, if he ever touched you again or made you uncomfortable in any way. You were honestly shocked to learn that Tae had done that, not to mention incredibly flustered, but Hyun, however, did not seem the least bit surprised.
“He’s always been very protective of you,” he said matter-of-factly, giving you a knowing smile.
“It’s obvious he cares a lot about you,” he then added thoughtfully, his expression growing slightly wistful before he continued. “And, that you care a lot about him.”
At the time, you convinced yourself that the affection Hyun thought you and Tae felt towards one another was strictly platonic. The alternative was just too painful to even contemplate given that Tae was busy recording the song with Jisoo and your love had never felt more unrequited. Worse than that, though, the alternative was dangerous. If Hyun realized your relationship contained romantic feelings, even if they sadly were only one-sided, he could end your career in a heartbeat.
In hindsight, it was overwhelmingly obvious that Hyun knew the true nature of your relationship, even if it remained unbeknownst to the two of you for another few months. He had seen how jealous and protective Tae grew whenever he asked you out. He had realized that every time you turned him down because of your ‘busy schedule’, you were really choosing Tae over him. He had witnessed you two together, off in your own little world, talking and laughing and flirting as if no one else existed, least of all him. He had known.
And yet, he had said nothing. He had not reported you. He had not attempted to blackmail you. He had not caused trouble in any way, shape, or form. He had just accepted it and moved on. Realizing this monumental fact, you allowed yourself to hope that, in time, others would do the same.
“The fact that it’s you, Taehyung, and not anyone else, also makes all the difference in this situation,” Bang PD went on, pulling you back to the present moment. “You are one of the most adored and respected idols here at Big Hit and are also already known to be family-oriented and, self admittedly, a hopeless romantic. You falling in love with Y/N, but waiting three years to tell her and then hiding your eventual relationship because you were afraid of losing her honestly just makes you all the more endearing.”
“If we tell people the truth, that you couldn’t bear to be separated from your pregnant wife who you deeply love and want to take care of, what is anyone really going to say?” he then questioned.
Upon hearing those words, you and Tae immediately turned to look at each other, your eyes wide in shock. You had not mentioned your news to anyone other than Jisoo, and thought you had been discreet at the hospital last night, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Turning back to face Bang PD, you saw a guilty expression clearly written on his face.
“Sejin accidentally saw the pregnancy test on the bedside table just before you left the hospital,” he revealed, sounding deeply apologetic.
“He did not tell me this when I spoke to him last night,” he went on slowly, choosing his words carefully. “He only shared the news this morning when I called him to discuss your future here at Big Hit. I asked him point blank how soon he thought you might be looking to start a family since Taehyung mentioned last night that you were already discussing children. He was caught off guard and didn’t know how else to respond other than to tell the truth.”
“He feels extremely guilty to have discovered and shared this highly personal information without your permission and I too feel guilty that I have discussed it and now taken away the opportunity for you to tell me yourselves,” he admitted as he bowed his head in remorse.
“However, I do feel it’s important that you know the decision to allow you to stay was made with this precious knowledge in mind,” he then said sincerely. “I want you to know that I am fully supportive of both your relationship and of your soon-to-be family.”
In the last few minutes you had already felt a flicker of anxiety about how and when you would tell him the news and if it would make him regret his decision to allow you to stay. The fact that he already knew and was genuinely supportive was a massive relief. You were about to thank him for providing you with this much needed peace of mind when he suddenly pulled something else out of his desk drawer.
“I also want you to know that Big Hit is going to be fully supportive as well,” he then said as he spread the papers in his hands out across his desk.
“These are the floor plans for the new building we will be moving into next spring,” he went on, a hint of excitement in his voice. “I think you might be interested in what will be located on the North end of the third floor.”
Confused and curious, you peered over at the paper in question. It took a few moments to orient yourself and figure out where to look, but when you did, you immediately knew what Bang PD wanted you to see.
“A childcare center,” you whispered as fresh tears welled up in your eyes.
“Yes. Starting next spring, Big Hit will offer onsite childcare services to all of its employees,” he explained. “With several of our idols now married or soon-to-be married and thinking of starting families, and many staff members having children already, it was an easy decision to make. Anyone who chooses to have their children cared for at the center will be guaranteed time throughout the day to visit with them. When the time comes, the two of you can take that time together or separately, whichever you prefer.”
Discovering you were allowed to stay had been overwhelming enough as it was, but this revelation was almost too much to handle. You were barely holding it together, filled with so much joy and gratitude that you thought you might burst, and you knew Tae was fairing no better. After taking one look at the floor plan, he dropped his head into his hand and began to softly cry.
Having this kind of support from Big Hit would be monumental for you both as new parents. It would make your transition back to work so much smoother and help you find that elusive balance between career and motherhood. It would also enable Tae to be that much more present in your children’s lives, allowing him to easily and safely spend time with them even when the schedule was busy. This development alone had already seemed life-changing, but what Bang PD said next made you realize it had only scratched the surface.
“Taehyung, for you and the rest of the members of BTS, family support will also extend beyond this building,” he began tentatively.
At the sound of those words, Tae looked up at you, his eyes wide in wonder and anticipation, before turning to Bang PD.
“From now on, you will be allowed to bring your families with you whenever BTS travels for extended periods of time,” he revealed, pausing for a moment to let the immense weight of that statement sink in. “The finer details of everything are yet to be worked out, but they will likely travel with you on your chartered flights and will stay with you as well. Big Hit will provide childcare whenever necessary and tutoring too when the time comes.”
“We will, of course, have to be extremely careful so as not to allow any information about your partners or children to get out, but I am confident we can handle it with proper planning and increased security,” he continued thoughtfully.
“Obviously, we will need to make some special arrangements for the upcoming tour, though,” he then quickly added.
“Y/N, may I ask when you are due?” he questioned gently.
For a second, you forgot how to speak. Your brain was still going a mile a minute as you struggled to comprehend everything he had just said. The idea of your children being allowed to travel with you and Tae, of you all being together as a family, was truly mind-blowing. It was honestly never something you considered to be even a remote possibility, even in your wildest dreams. It simply was not something that happened in the K-pop industry. Idols were expected to either put off having a family until they retired or have one that they rarely saw. There was no in between. No compromise.
That is, until now.
“July 15th is my expected due date,” you told him bewilderedly.
He nodded his head and was quiet for a few moments, no doubt running through the tour schedule in his head to see where exactly your due date fell. The tiniest amount of worry crept into your mind as you wondered if he was going to be upset with how unfortunately timed your pregnancy was, but once again he surprised you with his compassion and composure.
“It will be entirely up to you and Taehyung to decide how much of the tour you participate in, if any,” he finally said. “If your doctor clears you for travel and you are feeling up to it, you could come for the North American leg of the tour and maybe even part of the European leg. Obviously, you would need to be home by mid-spring and would then remain there once your child was born.”
“We would, of course, have someone on the medical staff oversee your prenatal care while you were traveling, but if you would be more comfortable staying home throughout your pregnancy that is perfectly fine,” he then assured you. “We could have you temporarily transferred over to another group that isn’t on tour until you take your maternity leave this summer.”
“Taehyung, you will also need to decide how much of the tour you’ll participate in,” he added, turning his attention back to Tae. “If you could make it through Festa and Muster in June and then possibly attend a few shows in September that would be great, but if you need more time off before or after the baby is born I understand completely.”
Of all the incredible revelations this meeting had brought, this one was perhaps the most earth-shattering. It was one thing for accommodations to be made for when Tae was busy with BTS commitments, but it was something else entirely for him to be released from those commitments altogether. It was a huge deal for a member to miss any event, let alone a concert, and was something that only happened in dire circumstances. And yet, here was Bang PD, saying Tae could miss a month or two of their world tour without consequence.
Unsure how to even begin to express the tangle of thoughts and emotions inside you, you glanced over at Tae, hoping he might have found the words to say, only to discover he was infinitely more overwhelmed than you were. He was staring at Bang PD with an absolutely astonished expression on his face, his eyes wide, mouth agape. For a whole minute he said nothing, just stood there in utter disbelief, barely even seeming to breathe, until he finally broke the silence.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice little more than a whisper.
“I-I’m so grateful for it all, truly, but I just…I just don’t understand,” he stammered as his voice began to waver and his eyes filled with tears once more. “When we signed you said the rules would never change.”
Bang PD drew in a long, deep breath before letting it out very slowly. As he did, his gaze traveled all over the room, taking in the sight of the numerous photographs and awards and mementos that lined the walls, most of which commemorated some notable milestone or accomplishment BTS had achieved. Looking back at Tae, a somber expression on his face, he cleared his throat and began to speak.
“I have been reconsidering a number of Big Hit’s policies for some time now,” he admitted as he leaned his elbows on the desk and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I know other members have also experienced hardship in their relationships, but what you’ve gone through with Y/N has been particularly eye-opening. It’s painfully clear to me now how near-impossible you felt it would be to have and maintain a healthy relationship with her if she wasn’t with you because of her job at Big Hit.”
“Obviously, I’ve always known that BTS’s schedule is very demanding and that it interferes with everyone’s personal lives, but I didn’t realize it was to such a large and heartbreaking extent,” he went on, letting out a deep sigh before he continued. “I want you all to be committed to the group’s shared vision and success, but not at the cost of your current and future happiness.”
“The rules were established before you debuted, back when you were all so young and inexperienced, but so much has changed since then,” he acknowledged. “You’ve grown, and will only continue to grow, not just as artists, but as individuals and as men, as husbands and fathers someday too.”
“Bit Hit needs to grow with you,” he then said with a note of finality.
“Thank you,” Tae said after a few moments of silence, his voice soft and sincere, as he bowed his head respectfully. “Your kindness and support means more to me than I can put into words. I deeply appreciate all that you have done for me over the years and all that you continue to do for Y/N, myself, and our unborn child. I promise to never take the incredible opportunity you’ve given us for granted and to continue performing to the absolute best of my ability as a member of BTS.”
“You are most welcome, Taehyung,” Bang PD said back with a smile. “You have dedicated over a third of your life to BTS and given myself and Big Hit so much. It is my pleasure to offer this to you in return.”
You were about to say something as well when Bang PD’s phone suddenly started to ring. After glancing down to see who it was, he said he unfortunately needed to take it. The call was brief, he gave little more than a few ‘Hmms’ and ‘OKs’, and before you knew it he was hanging up.
“I do apologize, but I am urgently needed at the police station with Jisoo and our lawyer,” he said regretfully, standing up from his desk.
“Why don’t we plan to meet again in a couple days,” he then suggested as he put on his coat. “That way you can take some time to absorb all of this and talk through everything together. Y/N, assuming you decide to stay, we’ll need to discuss when and how to reveal your relationship with Taehyung to the rest of Big Hit. There are also a couple of other things we’ll need to go over like security and NDAs and the like.”
“Please stay here as long as you’d like to collect yourselves before leaving,” he added gently. “I know it’s been an overwhelming and emotional afternoon.”
You and Tae both stood up and bid him farewell, shaking his hand and thanking him again for everything. He had opened the door, and was just about to step through and leave, when Tae suddenly called out to him.
“Sir, was it Namjoon-hyung?” he asked hesitantly.
This question had been on the tip of your tongue since the moment Bang PD said someone came to visit him this morning. Like Tae, you had assumed it was Namjoon, your guardian angel. He was the obvious choice, having been in your corner right from the very beginning, which is why Bang PD’s response came as such a surprise.
“No,” the older man said after a moment, a small smile playing on his lips. “The person I met with this morning, the one who convinced me you two should remain together here at Big Hit, was Mrs. Choi.”
With that, he took his leave, giving a final wave before stepping out into the hallway. The second the door closed and you and Tae were alone, the reality of everything that had transpired in the last hour finally hit you.
You weren’t being fired. You weren’t getting sued. You weren’t even being punished at all. Instead, you were being given the most precious gift anyone can ever ask for.
Time.
Time with Tae, the love of your life and your best friend, the father of your unborn child and your soon-to-be husband. Time spent talking and laughing and being with him. Time spent growing with him and learning from him and discovering a million more reasons to love him. Time spent watching him and his brothers follow their passion and change the world.
Time spent with him and your children. Time spent playing with them and teaching them things and showering them with love and affection. Time spent watching them discover they had the most wonderful, caring, and incredible father in the entire world. Time spent together as a family, one that was happy and whole and not separated by time zones and thousands upon thousands of miles.
Looking over at Tae, and seeing his own eyes already filled with tears, you lost it. In an instant, he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you as close as possible, enveloping you in his warmth and comfort and love. As you sobbed into his chest, absolutely overcome with emotion, he pressed endless kisses to your temple and rubbed your back in the most soothing, loving way.
“You can stay, Jagi,” he whispered as his own tears freely fell. “You can stay.”
“You can stay and we can be together,” he went on, gently rocking you in his arms. “Our family can be together.”
“I’ll take care of you and our baby, sweetheart,” he then vowed, his voice soft but resolute. “No matter where we go, no matter how crazy things get, I’ll take care of you both. I’ll keep you safe and make sure you’re healthy and happy and so, so loved. I’ll be the best husband and father I can be, I promise.”
Moved by his words, it took you a few moments to gather yourself to the point that you could speak and even then your voice was breaking over every other word.
“I’ll take care of you too, Tae,” you promised, pulling back to look at him. “I’ll take care of you and support you and love you always. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I love you so much,” you then told him as the joyful tears continued to pour out.
Though his eyes were still glistening with his own tears, he looked almost as happy as he did last night when you first told him you were pregnant. After gazing at you for a few moments, he reached up to cup your cheeks and rub away your tears with his thumbs before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and sweet and truly magical and, when he pulled away and looked at you so adoringly, still holding you so tenderly, you knew without question that this was the happiest moment of your entire life.
“I love you too, Jagi,” he confessed, giving you a shy, boxy smile. “I always have and I always will.”
~~~
Author’s Note:
Thank you all for following along with me on this incredible journey. When I started writing this story in my head while out on a long run back in January, I never dreamed it would have evolved into what it has now become. It has truly been a labor of love writing this and I thank each and every one of you who took the time to leave comments and send me messages. Your feedback and support meant more to me than I can put into words.
There were will an epilogue to this story that I hope to publish sometime in the next month. I am also planning on releasing drabbles every now and then. They will be of both past and future events and will also be from Tae's POV on occasion.
Part of the reason why it took so long for this last chapter to be released is that I've already started writing another story. I tried to hold off on beginning it until this one was done, but I got too excited lol It will be another Tae Idol!AU, however, that is where the similarities with TGTBT end. The title is 'Shattered Glass' and, like TGTBT was loosely centered on Tae's song 'Sweet Night', the new story will revolved around 'Stigma'. It will be angsty and smutty and honestly quite dark. It will be a roller coast for sure - friends to enemies to friends to lovers! I'm having a blast writing it so far and hope to have the first chapter published in the next month or so.
Thank you again for your love and support! 
Borahae 💜
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp @roguesthetic @ dreadity @belladaises @bangtannoonalvg  @chickennoonasoup @chosomeow
120 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 53 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 7.0k
warnings: cursing, smut, blackmail
Chapter 53: Too Goo To Be True - Part 1
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
You woke to the feeling of soft lips lightly brushing against yours and the sound of even softer words whispered into the stillness of the morning.
Wake up, sleeping beauty.
I’ve just given you a true love’s kiss.
With all your might you tried not to react, tried to feign sleep in the hopes that Tae would continue spoiling you with tender kisses and sweet words as he attempted to rouse you, but you simply could not stop a tiny smile from spreading across your face.
“At last,” he then whispered excitedly. “She has awoken from her endless slumber.”
At that, your smile widened. This silly, sweet side of Tae was just so endearing. You’d been awake for less than a minute and already he had you swooning, your heart threatening to burst due to cuteness overload.
“Are you my Prince Charming?” you asked shyly, your eyes still closed as you snuggled against his bare chest.
“Yes,” he replied happily, smiling into the kiss he then pressed to your forehead. “And, you are my beautiful princess.”
You were smiling from ear to ear now, completely smitten with the man in whose arms you laid. Tae had this incredible ability to take any moment, however brief or ordinary, and make it feel special and memorable, truly magical. Being with him was honestly like living in a fairy tale, one that you had feared for so long was too good to be true, but now trusted and believed with all your heart was real.
After laying there for a few more minutes, basking in the warmth of both his love and his embrace, you finally opened your eyes and pulled back to find him gazing at you with a soft, intent expression. As he brushed away a wisp of your hair and then cradled your face in his hand, you felt that familiar fluttering in your chest. Yesterday he had said you were the most precious thing in the world to him and right now, with how lovingly he was looking at you and how tenderly he was holding you, you truly felt like you were.
“What are you thinking about?” you asked a moment later, having grown a bit shy under his gaze.
He didn’t respond right away and instead took his thumb and lightly ran it along your lower lip. As he did, a tiny shiver went up your spine as the atmosphere in the room shifted ever so slightly. The love was still clearly there in his eyes, but it was now accompanied by an unmistakable glint of lust.
“Last night,” he finally confessed, his sultry voice shooting right through you. “And how much I loved being with you like that.”
“Being so close to you,” he went on, your breath hitching as he leaned in and tilted your chin up with his finger. “Feeling all of you.”
“It was incredible,” he then murmured, his lips just a breath away from yours.
“It was,” you agreed quietly, feeling dizzy and lightheaded, utterly intoxicated by him.
The next thing you knew, he had closed the distance between you and captured your lips in a deep, sensual kiss that had memories from last night instantly flooding back to you.  
How it began with an innocent goodnight kiss that lingered on and on before eventually turning messy and desperate. The way his lips caressed the sensitive skin of your neck while he teased his fingers along the waistband of your shorts. The rush you felt when he whispered in your ear that he missed being inside you and hearing your pretty sounds and feeling you come around him. How he slowly removed your clothes and then licked and bit his lips as his gaze shamelessly roamed over you. The searing hot kisses he trailed all the way down your body, how he softly sucked and nipped as he went, and all the sinfully sweet words he murmured against your skin.
Want to take care of you
Make my sweetheart feel so good
Worship your beautiful body that’s carrying our baby
Show you just how much I love you, Jagi
How he then used his mouth to express that love, but didn’t use words. His insatiable hunger as he pleasured you until your body was trembling and your mind was devoid of all thoughts except him. Breathlessly telling him that you wanted and needed him. Him reaching over to the nightstand out of habit. You reminding him that you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant when you were already pregnant. The adorably sheepish grin he then gave you. The passionate kiss you shared as he laid his body down on yours.
Making love without anything between you for the first time. How it felt so much more intimate and meaningful, every sensation heightened and the pleasure beyond anything you’d ever experienced before. The way he held you so close and gazed into your eyes as he slowly and deeply thrust into you. The physical and emotional bliss of coming together. How truly whole you felt afterwards, sharing languid kisses and confessing your love over and over again while your bodies remained intimately intertwined.
~~~
An hour later you were in the kitchen savoring the one cup of coffee you were now allowed to have every day and waiting for Tae to finish showering so you could hop in. He had pleaded for you to join him, promising with puppy dog eyes that he would be on his best behavior and that you two would only clean each other, but you knew better than to believe that. Even after last night’s three rounds and this morning’s two, it was clear that neither of you were satiated. His appetite was particularly ravenous, having admitted last night that you being pregnant with his child was something he found extremely sexy. If you had gotten in the shower with him just now he surely would have misbehaved, you obviously would have had to punish him, and you two definitely would have then missed the meeting with Bang PD and the lawyer that you needed to be at in forty-five minutes.
As you stood there leaning against the kitchen counter, mug in hand, your mind began wandering to all the questions that needed to be answered and decisions that needed to be made. If Jisoo would actually try to blackmail Tae and what would happen if she did. How to tell your families and close friends about the pregnancy. If they would be as supportive as you hoped. When to get legally married and when to have the wedding reception. How to begin telling other people about your relationship with Tae. If they would believe that your marriage was genuine and that your baby was truly wanted. What jobs you would apply for once you left Big Hit. When and if you would go back to work after you gave birth. If you would be a good mother.
However, there was one thought that weighed more heavily on your mind than all the rest combined: whether or not Tae would actually remain in BTS. Last night after your ultrasound, while you were laying with him and waiting to be released, you fell asleep for a little bit. When you woke up you found him on his phone scrolling through his contract. He said he was just glancing at it, but you knew there was more to it than that.
He had reluctantly agreed when you told him that you still wanted to wait before you made any decisions, but in the hours since then your own feelings had become muddled. As adamant as you had been back at the hospital that you two could make it work once you left Big Hit, you couldn’t deny the anxiety you now felt when you imagined what life was going to be like moving forward. You thought you were going to have time to adjust and gradually settle into your new routine, but that notion had gone out the window the moment you saw those two pink lines.
The truth was, you being pregnant changed everything. So many new and exciting, but also stressful things were about to happen and you honestly didn’t know if you could handle them all without Tae by your side. Given how inseparable you’d been for the last three years, the idea of being apart for even a little while made your heart legitimately ache. The hectic and unpredictable nature of his regular schedule would be hard enough to deal with, but sadly there would be a far greater challenge awaiting you both if he chose not to give up his idol life.
After not touring at all this year, BTS was set to embark on a massive world tour next year. Once they kicked things off in February with several shows in South Korea, they would spend almost two months in North America and then a month in Europe. At the end of May they would come home for Festa and Muster which would last most of June. They would then spend the rest of the summer touring Japan and Southeast Asia before the tour concluded with a big three-day finale back in Seoul at the end of September. Other than a couple weekends off here and there, and a two week break in mid-summer, they would be going nonstop for almost eight months.
And, you would be giving birth right in the middle of it all.
Putting down your suddenly tasteless coffee, you dropped your head into your hands and let out a long, frustrated sigh. The truth was undeniable: if Tae was considering leaving BTS before, he was surely now convinced that it was what he needed to do. There was just no way he was going to want to be away from you while you were pregnant, let alone once the baby was born.
This realization caused a flurry of conflicting emotions to well up inside you. You wanted more than anything to have him with you, to share all of the experiences of pregnancy and new parenthood together, but wanting that made you feel so guilty. To be with you he would need to make an enormous sacrifice, one that would undoubtedly cause confusion and hardship and heartbreak for so many people. Even if he said it's what he wanted, even if it was what was best for your family and relationship in the long run, allowing him to do it still just felt so selfish. Tae offered so much to the world as a member of BTS, so much love and joy and positivity, and also received so much in return.
Could you really allow him to give all that up?
The answer to that question was elusive, but just as you began to chase it around your mind, you heard a knock on the apartment door. It was soft, so soft that you thought for a moment that you had imagined the sound, but when you heard it again a few moments later, you realized that it was most definitely real.
As you walked down the hallway towards the foyer, you decided your visitor must be one of the guys. Tae had texted their group chat late last night and told them that you fainted while at Big Hit and were taken to the hospital, but that you were discharged and were doing alright. He mentioned that the situation involved Jisoo, and also let them know that Bang PD and several others now knew about your relationship, but didn’t go into much more detail since he wanted to talk to them about everything in person. He said nothing about the pregnancy, though, partly because it wasn’t something to be shared over text, but also because it was still a little early to tell people.
All of the guys had responded with concern and well-wishes and both Jimin and Namjoon had texted back separately asking if there was anything that the two of you needed. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised you at all if one of them decided to pop over just in case to make sure that everything truly was alright. However, after undoing the deadbolt and lock, you opened the door and were brought face to face with the absolute last person you were expecting.
Jisoo
The fact that she was standing in front of you was surprising enough, but it was the state of her appearance that was most shocking. In the year and a half that you had known her, you had never seen her look so unkempt. She was completely bare faced, having not even bothered to hide the dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was undone, piled in a messy heap atop her head. Her clothes were plain, a bit grungy, even: black leggings with scuffed white sneakers and a blue crew neck sweatshirt that was clearly distressed not by design, but by years of wear and tear. The color was faded and bleached in some spots, the ends of the sleeves frayed and covered with black smudges you had a sneaking suspicion were mascara. Her eyes were red and puffy, the unmistakable aftermath of fallen tears, and wide with fear and anticipation.
The sight before you was disarming, automatically eliciting emotions you never thought you could feel for the woman who stood before you. She looked broken, a mere shell of a human, and no matter how hard you tried to fight them, genuine feelings of concern and sympathy flickered inside you. Despite everything she had said and done to you and Tae, despite how much she had hurt you both, you simply could not find it within yourself to take pleasure in her own obvious pain.
The two of you spent what felt like hours staring at each other in complete silence. As you watched her gaze briefly travel over you, and saw it linger on all the skin exposed by Tae’s loose-fitting V-neck tee shirt, the irony of the situation sank in. You were the one now covered in marks, ones that had obviously been given to you by the man whose clothes you were wearing, the man that you still shared a home with and were clearly still dating. The dramatic reversal of your roles should have given you at least a small amount of satisfaction, but it didn’t. Instead, it caused a pit to form in the bottom of your stomach.
“I-I’m glad you’re still here,” she finally said, sounding slightly relieved, somewhat surprised, but mostly nervous.
“I was hoping to speak with you and Tae,” she went on, barely able to meet your eye.
Struggling to comprehend not only the words she was saying, but the entire situation, you continued gaping at her in disbelief. She wasn’t supposed to be here right now. She wasn’t supposed to have been the one to reach out. You and Tae hadn’t met with Bang PD and the lawyer yet. You hadn’t made a plan for how to handle everything. Namjoon wasn’t here and the conversation wasn’t being recorded. It was all wrong. The whole situation was all wrong.
And yet, something inside you was telling you that you should hear what she had to say.
Wordlessly, you stepped aside and ushered her through the door. After closing it, you turned and walked with her down the hallway towards the kitchen. When you got there, you gestured for her to take a seat at the island counter.
“I’m going to go get Tae,” you said after a moment of debating whether or not it was OK to leave her alone in the apartment. “Just...wait here.”
She nodded in reply and you turned to leave the room, but before you could even take a step, Tae’s voice rang out from within the apartment.
“Jagi, I had a thought in the shower,” he called from down the hall. “If we turn the office into the baby’s room, should we move our bedroom into the room next to it? I’m worried about it taking too long to get all the way across the apartment if the baby needs us in the middle of the night.”
You froze, your heart absolutely plummeting in your chest, as you realized what Tae had just inadvertently revealed to Jisoo. He had only been in the shower for a few minutes when she knocked and you thought for sure he would still be in there now. Obviously, though, you were wrong and now your precious secret was out.
“I'm also worried about not being able to hear when something is wrong,” he added, now sounding like he was getting closer. “I know we’ll have a baby monitor, but what if it doesn’t work for some reason? What if our baby spends the whole night crying all alone while we’re asleep? Just thinking about that makes me want to cry.”
“We definitely need to-,” he then began before abruptly stopping when he turned the corner and saw Jisoo.
For a few seconds he just stood there in stunned silence, staring at her with wide eyes, but as soon as he snapped out of it he was at your side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest in a protective embrace. You couldn’t see his face, but from the terrified look on Jisoo’s you knew he was giving her his most intimidating death glare.
“What are you doing here?” he spat, his voice cold and sharp as ice.
She flinched, physically recoiling from his verbal assault, but her gaze remained fixed on you.
“You’re pregnant?” she whispered.
Your first instinct was to deny it, but you realized a second later that it was pointless. There was honestly no other explanation for what she had just heard Tae say.
“I am,” you admitted sheepishly. “We found out last night after I went to the hospital.”
“You went to the hospital?” she breathed out, her eyes wide in shock.
“I fainted after Tae told me the truth about his grandmother’s ring,” you said hesitantly, Tae hugging you tighter as you spoke. “I hadn’t eaten in a while and my blood pressure was already low because I’m pregnant. When I got really overwhelmed my body just shut down.”
You truly hadn’t said that to guilt her, you’d just wanted to explain the situation, but the way her face somehow fell ever further upon hearing them made it crystal clear that the weight of your words was absolutely crushing. Against all reason, you felt your heart clench at the sight.
“Jisoo, why are you here?” Tae asked again, his tone now even more threatening.
She took a few moments before answering, looking down at the floor and taking a deep breath as she clearly tried to compose herself.
“I came to apologize,” she finally said, looking up at the two of you. “And to explain.”
Tae said nothing in reply, just stared back at her, his gaze piercing and his jaw tightly set. He was clearly skeptical of her intentions which was absolutely warranted given everything she had done. Your own reservations were swirling around inside you, but there too was that same voice from before, urging you to listen.
“I think you know already that what I said last night wasn’t the truth,” she began quietly, guilt written all over her face. “But, I just want to make it absolutely clear that nothing inappropriate ever happened between Tae and I.”
“It was so wrong of me to make it seem like something had,” she continued as her voice started to tremble. “I-I’m truly ashamed that I did that.”
“I’m so sorry,” she then confessed as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry for all of the terrible things I did and said. I’m sorry for lying and manipulating you and trying to come between you. I’m sorry for everything. If I could go back and undo it all, I would. I’m not asking for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it, but I just…I just need you to know that I’m so sorry.”
For the longest time, the room was dead silent save for the faint ticking from the clock on the nearby wall. Your head was swimming with an infinite number of indecipherable thoughts. To be honest, you hadn’t expected to ever receive an apology from Jisoo. She had acted so deliberately and with such calculated malice that it seemed unfathomable for her to actually feel guilt or remorse. The fact that she did, and had just expressed those feelings to you with what sounded to be true sincerity, left you completely at a loss.
“Why?” was all Tae finally said, his tone harsh and demanding. “Why did you do this to us?”
“I-I…It just…I was…,” she stammered before her voice trailed off and a few tears began trickling out.
“I trusted you,” he went on, his voice rising in frustration. “I trusted you and you betrayed me. You ruined what was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life. You jeopardized my entire future, everything I’ve spent years waiting and hoping for. You hurt me deeply, more than anyone else ever has and probably ever will, but far worse than that, you hurt Y/N. You hurt her and tried to drive her away, knowing how much I love her and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”  
“Why would you be so cruel?” he then shouted, now shaking with rage. “Why would you be so fucking selfish?”
At the sound of his words, something inside Jisoo seemed to snap. In an instant, the sad, shameful look she had worn since the moment you first laid eyes on her vanished and gave way to one of seething anger.
“Because someone was blackmailing me!” she yelled back at him.
“Someone who knew about your relationship was threatening me,” she continued, an unmistakable hint of fear now mixed in with her anger. “And I-I just panicked.”
Of all the reasons she could have given, that was the absolute last one you ever would have expected. As you and Tae wordlessly stood there, both of you too shocked to even attempt to respond, she pulled out her phone and navigated to her text messages. After scrolling for what felt like an eternity, she finally set her phone down on the counter and turned it around so you could see.
There on the screen was a photo of a beach with a beautiful sunset. On that beach, standing a couple feet into the water, was a man holding a barefoot woman in his arms. She was snuggled up against him, her head on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his neck, and his lips were pressed to her temple in a kiss.
The scene was so tender and intimate and romantic.
And so heart-stoppingly familiar.
You gasped, your hand flying up to cover your mouth, as Tae stiffened beside you, his grip on your waist tightening like a vice. The evidence was right there in front of you, clear as day, and yet you simply could not believe it. Your magical moment on the beach with Tae, the one that changed your life forever, had been secretly witnessed and photographed by someone.
As she swiped through several more photos, you saw Tae turning around and carrying you across the sand back towards the road. The quality of the photos was shockingly good and you could clearly tell it was him in most of them. Having nuzzled into his neck because you were feeling shy and nervous, your face was hidden in all of the photos except for the last. In that one, Tae had just reached the road and you had finally pulled back to look at him. It wasn’t the best angle, but anyone who knew you would be able to recognize you in a heartbeat.
“I was sent these photos one night three weeks ago by a random number,” Jisoo said to break the silence.
“It took me a few minutes to realize they had been taken at the Itaewon Class photoshoot,” she went on, her voice hushed and shaky. “As you know, I wasn’t there, but I remembered you saying that it took place at the beach and that Y/N went with you.”
“I was confused and nervous as to why someone was sending them to me,” she admitted, sounding genuinely fearful. “But, before I could reply, more messages came flooding in.”
The photos she showed you next were infinitely more disturbing than the ones from the beach and had you clutching Tae’s shirt in absolute horror. You and Tae loading things into your car outside of your old apartment. You and Tannie playing in what was supposed to be the private courtyard of the apartment complex. You driving through the gate and into the parking garage underneath the building. You walking out of the front doors of the Big Hit building. You shopping at the grocery store while wearing Tae’s gray sweatshirt. There were a bunch more of you out and about around Seoul, all of them taken at what appeared to be frighteningly close range, and then came the text messages.
[Unknown 8:44 PM] Who is this woman?
[Unknown 8:46 PM] She shouldn’t be touching Tae.
[Unknown 8:47 PM] She shouldn’t be in his home or playing with Tannie or wearing his clothes.
The next set of photos were no longer of you and Tae, but of Jisoo and Tae. They clearly weren’t taken by the sender and instead seemed to have been gathered from the internet. Most of them showed their interactions at various events they’d both attended, like her kissing him on the cheek at last year’s Golden Disc Awards. There were also a number of screenshots from the Instagram Lives they did over the summer when they were recording the song. A couple of them were even fan edits, ones you had previously seen circulated on Twitter by delusional TaeSoo shippers.
[Unknown 9:15 PM] Are you mad that he left you for her?
[Unknown 9:16 PM] You should be.
[Unknown 9:16 PM] She doesn’t deserve him.
[Unknown 9:17 PM] You don’t deserve him either.
[Unknown 9:20 PM] No one does.
“By this point, I was already so creeped out,” Jisoo said, sounding truly frightened. “This person was obviously a crazy sasaeng fan who was obsessed with Tae and had been stalking you both for months. I don’t think they knew about the fake dating cover, but they clearly thought Tae and I were actually dating at some point and figured out that you and him were currently together.”
“They were following you everywhere you went, Y/N,” she added as she looked at you with wide, terrified eyes. “Everywhere.”
You shuddered, the hairs on the back of your neck rising up as your stomach dropped. Someone had been following you and watching you and photographing you for months and you’d had absolutely no idea. As a tidal wave of fear and disgust and dread crashed over you, Tae drew you even closer, holding you in the tightest, most protective embrace as he pressed his cheek to your temple.
“I was going to tell you,” Jisoo then said, her voice laden with regret as fresh tears pooled in her eyes. “I was going to tell you so you could alert the police and get the Bit Hit security team involved. I was, I promise.”
“But, then they sent this,” she all but whispered as she scrolled down to reveal another set of messages and photos.
[Unknown 10:20 PM] She can’t be with him anymore.
[Unknown 10:22 PM] Make her go away.
[Unknown 10:23 PM] Do it or else.
Below those distressing, threatening messages was a photo of a girl sitting at a café, a drink in one hand, her phone in the other. She looked to be a bit younger than you, the presence of a backpack on the chair beside her indicating she was likely still in school. She had big, almond eyes, pink heart-shaped lips, and long, dark brown hair that cascaded down her back in gentle waves. Her beauty was striking. It was the kind you couldn’t help but notice and admire. The kind you would remember and recognize again if you ever saw it. The kind, you then realized, that was standing right in front of you.
“Jisoo, who is that?” you asked quietly.
Watching as the anguish spread across her face and her lower lip began to quiver, tears pricked at your own eyes as you realized you already knew the answer to that question.
“It’s my little sister, Hyejin,” she cried before a terrible sob tore through her and she completely lost it.
Without even thinking, you slipped out of Tae’s hold, strode over to Jisoo, and gathered her in your arms. She melted into your embrace instantly, burying her face in your shoulder as she began sobbing uncontrollably. As you stroked her back and whispered comforting words, you watched as Tae started swiping through more photos.
They were just like the ones of you, candid and invasive and wholly unsettling. Hyejin shopping at the mall. Walking down the sidewalk. At a restaurant with friends. In her car at a gas station. Through the window in what appeared to be a dorm room. There were just so many photos and below them were more threats, each one more frightening than the last. At some point Jisoo responded, at first refusing to get involved, but eventually conceding once it was clear the sasaeng fan could not be reasoned with.
Beside you, Tae looked stricken, his face drained of all color as he stared down at Jisoo’s phone. He hadn’t said a word, but you knew exactly what was going through his mind. Family was everything to Tae; he loved and protected his fiercely. He went to extraordinary measures to keep them hidden and allow them to live safe, normal lives. It broke his heart that he often couldn’t be there with them, that he had to miss things like his brother’s baseball games and sister’s dance recitals, but he had no other choice. The risk of him being recognized and his family being exposed was just too great. If anything ever happened to them because of him, he would never forgive himself.
“I don’t know how this happened,” Jisoo sobbed into your shoulder, almost incoherently. “I’ve always been so careful. I’ve never posted photos of her. I’ve never gone out in public with her. I’ve never shared any of her personal information. I've been an idol for six years and no one has ever found her before now.”
“Hyejin is only seventeen,” she went on despondently. “It’s my job to take care of her and keep her safe, but I didn’t do that. She’s in danger and it’s my fault. All of this is my fault.”
With every word she spoke, your heart broke a little more. From the conversations he’d had with Jisoo over the last few months, Tae had gathered that she didn’t have the best home life while growing up. After her parents went through a bitter divorce when she was very young, she and Hyejin ended up living with their father. He never remarried, but their mother did and then moved far away not long after. From that point forward, Jisoo became somewhat of a mother figure to her younger sister, doing everything she could to help raise the young girl and also protect her from their father who unfortunately was not always the kindest man.
After joining the drama club simply to get out of the house, Jisoo quickly discovered that she had both a talent and passion for performing. With encouragement from her performing arts teacher, she eventually auditioned with YG entertainment when she was sixteen and was accepted as a trainee. Becoming a trainee allowed Jisoo to escape, but it also meant leaving her sister behind which made her feel unbearably guilty. Despite her hectic schedule as a trainee and eventual idol, Jisoo visited home as much as possible to continue taking care of Hyejin and, as soon as could afford it, arranged to have her enrolled in a private boarding school just outside of Seoul.
It was rare for Jisoo to step out of her cold, hard idol persona, even when she was alone with Tae, but when she’d spoken of her sister he had noted an undeniable warmth and tenderness. Though she often tried to play it off, it was clear to him that she absolutely adored the girl and would do anything for her. In what you now realized was the most ironic and heartbreaking turn of events, it had actually been Jisoo’s quiet, but unwavering love for her sister that ultimately convinced Tae that she could be trusted to safeguard your love.
“I’m so sorry,” Jisoo said again, finally lifting her head to look at you. “I know I shouldn’t have given in, but I was just so scared. I didn’t know what to do. They knew so much about her and were threatening such terrible things. I was so afraid of what would happen if I asked for help. I just panicked.”
“I just wanted them to stop,” she added softly, looking and sounding so terribly distraught. “I just wanted them to leave my little sister alone.”
As you watched tears once again well up her eyes, and felt your heart ripping apart, you were struck with a truly devastating realization: the sasaeng fan targeted Jisoo as a way to get to you. Had they been able to discover your identity, it wouldn’t have been Hyejin being threatened, it would have been Jia and Nari. A gut-wrenching mixture of relief and guilt immediately welled up inside you. What would you have done if that had happened? What would you have done if someone threatened the people you loved most in the entire world?
The answer was immediate: you would have done anything to protect them.
“I know,” you told her as the first few tears began spilling down your own cheeks. “I know and I understand. I have two sisters and I love them more than life itself. I can’t even imagine how scared you must have been.”
“I’m so sorry that they did this to you because of me,” you went on, now crying in earnest. “I’m sorry and I forgive you.”
“I forgive you too,” Tae added softly as he wrapped an arm around you and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“We’re not going to let this person hurt you or your sister,” he then vowed. “We’ll figure this out together, I promise.”
~~~
Jisoo accompanied you and Tae to your meeting with Bang PD and the Big Hit lawyer. With your support, she told them everything she’d shared with you, showing them the messages and photos and explaining what had happened. Bang PD was extremely concerned about the breach in security and quite disappointed that she hadn’t come forward sooner, but mostly he was upset that you’d all gone through such an awful experience.
He and the lawyer spent the next few hours explaining what would happen moving forward. Sadly, it was nothing new for one of their idols to be threatened and blackmailed, though they did acknowledge that this was a particularly messy situation. The authorities would be contacted immediately to help track down the person who had contacted Jisoo and bring charges against them. In the meantime, security would be heightened for you, Tae, and Jisoo as well as Hyejin.
Given that this person had been holding onto these photos for months, the lawyer was fairly confident that they had no actual intentions of releasing them. Usually when someone had compromising photos or information they wanted one of two things: money or attention. Money was clearly not the motivator in this situation; this person could have made a fortune by selling the photos of you and Tae, but had chosen not to. As long as ‘Jisoo’, aka the police using Jisoo’s phone, kept contacting them, they would be happy and cooperative, ideally long enough to be found.
When it was time for Jisoo and the lawyer to leave and go to the police station, you got up to give her a hug goodbye. She instantly returned it and then asked if the two of you could talk real in the hallway. Once the door closed she apologized again, not for what had transpired over the last three weeks, but for everything that had happened over the last year and a half. With a blush, she bluntly admitted to having always had a crush on Tae and being jealous of you. Even before you were together, she’d noticed the way he looked at you and spoke of you and suspected that he thought of you as more than a colleague or friend. She flirted with him nonetheless, and held out hope that maybe he’d someday return her feelings, but while they were recording the song together over the summer she finally accepted he was legitimately in love with you.
She said it stung to sing a love song with her crush, knowing that he wrote it for another woman, and that it hurt even more when Tae reached out to her almost two months later asking to fake date her to hide his relationship with you. To her it was a slap in the face since she thought she’d made it pretty obvious over the summer that she was genuinely interested in him. Given how aloof Tae could sometimes be, you knew it was entirely possible that he’d missed even the clearest signs that she’d given him.
In hindsight, she realized that she never should have agreed to the fake dating arrangement. She thought she could separate her feelings and approach the situation objectively, but she was wrong. She felt bitter and frustrated and honestly confused at times and she took it out on you by being petty and pushing the envelope when she was with Tae.
Her heartfelt apology was one you deeply appreciated and accepted without hesitation. Had you been in her shoes, you’re honestly not sure you would have handled it any better. You knew it would have absolutely crushed you to have Tae hold your hand and kiss your cheek and call you Jagi, but not actually mean any of it.
After saying one final goodbye, and promising to talk with her later to hear how everything went with the police, you went back into Bang PD’s office. He was on the phone with someone from the security team so you wordlessly sat down and waited for him to finish. As you gazed out the window at the Han River, contemplating how truly unbelievable the last twenty four hours had been, Tae reached over from where he was sitting beside you and took your hand. Turning to face him, you found him holding up a finger heart with his other hand which instantly brought a smile to your lips.
“I know it’s been such a long and tiring day for the two of you, but before you leave there is still one more matter that we need to discuss,” Bang PD tentatively began after he finally hung up the phone.
“Your relationship,” he then simply stated after a brief pause.
Amidst all the drama regarding Jisoo and the sasaeng fan, you had almost forgotten that this conversation was likely to take place today. Even though you had long ago accepted its inevitable outcome, you found yourself feeling incredibly nervous now that the moment had finally arrived. Sitting up straighter in your chair as Tae gave your hand an encouraging squeeze, you waited with bated breath for the Big Hit CEO to continue.
“I’ll be honest, my gut reaction last night was to forbid Taehyung from revealing your relationship to anyone here at Big Hit even after you left so as to avoid any controversy,” he admitted warily, causing your heart to seize.
“One of my biggest concerns is a potential scandal,” he went on. “We have done an excellent job so far maintaining the privacy of everyone’s relationships, in large part because our staff has been so compliant with their nondisclosure agreements, but I worried about how news of your relationship would be perceived internally. The optics are not great, especially with Jisoo being involved as well, and I feared there would be significant backlash once word got out.”
“However, I had a meeting with someone this morning who convinced me that a different, but equally drastic action needed to be taken,” he then said, giving you both a tight lipped smile.
Just then, he opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a large manila envelope. It was unlabeled, save for the red ‘confidential’ stamp in the upper left hand corner. After holding it in his hands for a few moments, he eventually laid it down on the desk and then gently slid it over to you.
Picking it up with your free hand that was shaking ever so slightly, you realized that whatever was inside was rather thick and immediately your mind began racing. The envelope said ‘confidential’ so it must contain some sort of legal document. Did he just serve you court papers? Was Big Hit actually suing you for breach of contract?
“Sir, what is this?” you asked quietly, trying desperately to keep your voice from trembling.
“Why don’t you open it and find out,” was all he said in reply.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp @roguesthetic @ dreadity @belladaises @bangtannoonalvg  @chickennoonasoup
100 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 49 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 6.3k
warnings: cursing
A/N: At last, the secret is revealed...!
Chapter 49: The Truth Untold
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Your first instinct was to do exactly what she’d suggested: leave.
Leave the city. Leave Bit Hit. Leave him.
Leave in the dead of night without saying a word.
You could go back to his apartment right now while he was with her, pack up all of your belongings, and leave nothing but your couple’s ring on the kitchen counter. Maybe you’d leave a note too, ‘Hope she was worth it.’, or something equally as cryptic and passive aggressive. You could even write it on the note he left you that morning just below his beautifully worded lies, anything to make it hurt that much more when he finally came home to an empty apartment.
You could stay at your apartment tonight and then drive home to Busan tomorrow. You could get a new phone number and block him on all other platforms. Monday morning you could call Mrs. Choi and resign, effective immediately. You could tell her a version of the truth, that you just couldn’t do it anymore, that the job had ended up taking more from you than you could bear to give. She could then be the one to break the news to Tae, inform him that you were gone and you weren’t coming back.
You could erase Kim Taehyung from your life entirely and pretend that the last three years, specifically the last three months, never even happened.
And yet, as much as you wanted to crush him, make him feel as abandoned and embarrassed and broken as he made you feel, you found yourself incapable of even taking the first step and leaving the elevator. It was holding you back, that invisible tether, the one which had bound you to him for years, stopping you time and again from moving on and carving out a life for yourself that didn’t revolve around him. Every time you tried to move, it tugged on your heart, reminding you that even now, in the wake of his devastation, the traitorous organ still belonged to him.
You stood there fighting against your heart’s restraint for so long that the doors eventually closed. Just like that, you were trapped. You obviously couldn’t go backwards and change the past, but you were somehow even less capable of moving forward and building a new future. He was such an integral part of your life, the foundation on which nearly everything was built, that the mere thought of extracting yourself from him was both exhausting and terrifying. What would even be left of you at the end of that excruciatingly painful process?
You didn’t want to know.
You weren’t ready to know.
All at once, the elevator felt unbearably small and hot and suffocating. It was like a cage, one in which, no matter where you looked, you were met with the same pitiful, heart-wrenching sight of your own reflection. In a desperate attempt to escape, you pressed the button for the top floor of the building. The ascent seemed to take forever, and the whole time it felt like the walls were closing in around you, but eventually the elevator stopped. The moment the doors opened you were hit with a blast of cold, refreshing November air.
At last you could breathe.
As you slowly made your way to the table on the far side of the rooftop deck, a strange sense of calm settled over you. It was like you had entered a state of suspended animation, one where time stopped and no one and nothing else existed. Up there, with nothing but the faint sound of the howling wind in the background, it was just you and your thoughts. After turning off your phone, you sat down on top of the table, hugged your knees up to your chest, and looked out over the Han River. As you took in the beautiful sight before you, you let your mind wander, trying to understand what led you to this fateful moment. Back through time you went, sifting through every memory you’d shared with Tae over the course of the last three years, until eventually you settled on the one that changed everything...
***
You were in the studio one Friday afternoon and were about to head home for the weekend when you heard your phone buzz on the counter in front of you. Glancing down at it, your heart started beating erratically in your chest when you saw that the message was from Tae.
[Taehyung 4:35 PM] Noona!
[Taehyung 4:35 PM] Meet me on the roof.
When you and him exchanged numbers back on your first day at Big Hit, you had put him into your phone as ‘Taehyung’. Over the next few days he asked you over and over again to please call him ‘Tae’. Eventually, you obliged, but you never got around to changing his contact name in your phone and ultimately decided to just leave it the way it was. ‘Taehyung’ was such a beautiful name and you honestly just loved the way it looked popping up on your screen.
In the month since you started at Big Hit, you had learned that Tae had a penchant for sending cryptic messages such as these. The majority of your text correspondence was work related - you reminding him to come back soon for hair and makeup when he wandered off on set, him sending you a photo of something from the Gucci website that he wanted to wear in an upcoming shoot - but every once in a while he would send texts like these. They made you embarrassingly giddy, but they also made you a little nervous; you just never knew what to expect when it came to Kim Taehyung.
[4:36 PM] OK!
Five minutes later the elevator doors were opening up to reveal the rooftop deck atop the Big Hit building. After tentatively stepping out, you glanced around and quickly found Tae sitting at the picnic table in the corner. You took a deep, steadying breath to try and calm your racing heart and then started making your way over to him. As soon as he heard you walk up behind him, he turned around and gave you the biggest, boxiest smile.
“Noona!” he said excitedly. “You’re here!”
“I am,” you said shyly, giving him a small smile.
“But, umm...what exactly are we doing up here?” you then asked, noting for the first time the Tupperware, paper plates, and forks on the table beside him.
“I want to celebrate,” he said happily.
“Celebrate what?” you asked back.
“Your Big Hit one month anniversary,” he replied simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh wow. That’s so nice of you” you said after a moment, feeling your cheeks heat up. “You really didn’t have to, though. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It is to me,” he said earnestly, giving you another bright smile.
“My last stylist noona only lasted three weeks,” he then admitted, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke.
“She put me in an outfit that ARMY hated for one of our shows and then ‘Cancel TaeTae’s Stylist Noona’ trended on Twitter,” he went on sheepishly. “She quit the next day.”
“Oh my god,” you said with a laugh. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I didn’t want to scare you away!” he replied seriously before breaking out into a fit of giggles.
“But, you have nothing to worry about,” he soon assured you. “You’re doing an amazing job.”
“In fact, ARMY has been saying I look more handsome than ever since you started,” he then added cheekily, wiggling his eyebrows at you in that ridiculous way only he could pull off.
After rolling your eyes at him, you then quickly looked away so he wouldn’t see that you were blushing. He was always subtly teasing you like this. It had taken you by surprise the first couple times he did so, and foolishly made you feel a little special, but you soon realized that was just the way Tae was. He was a natural flirt, effortlessly captivating people with his dazzling good looks and boyish charm. Everyone he met was instantly taken with him, from fans to interviewers to other idols, and you had been no exception.  
From your very first day when he had personally given you a tour of Big Hit, you had been smitten with him. You hoped that your little crush was nothing more than a fleeting physical attraction, one that would fade away over time, but unfortunately it was not. The more time you spent getting to know him, the more you realized that, as stunningly beautiful as he was on the outside, he was even more breathtaking on the inside.
Kim Taehyung was like the sun. He radiated energy and warmth and simply being in his presence made you feel brighter and more alive. His smile was infectious, as was his laugh, and he offered both of them freely to anyone and everyone he met. He felt deeply and wore his heart on his sleeve; he was unashamedly honest and unapologetically himself. He was kind and thoughtful and loyal, creative and hardworking and passionate. He was, quite frankly, the most wonderful human being you’d ever met.
No matter how hard you tried to fight it, no matter how many times you reminded yourself of the crystal clear rules of your contract, your feelings for him only deepened. Every time he smiled at you or said something sweet, you felt yourself inching closer to the line you swore you would never cross. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month and now here you were, teetering on the edge of something you were all but certain you could never come back from.
“Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m really glad you’re still here,” he then said quietly, getting a little shy himself.
“I have so much fun working with you and I hope you know that I don’t just see you as my stylist, but also as my friend,” he then continued as he turned back towards you with a little smile.
“Thanks, Tae. It means so much to hear you say that,” you replied back, genuinely touched by his words.
”I definitely consider you a friend, too,” you then added before giving him a bashful smile in return.
For a few seconds, the two of you sat there in comfortable silence soaking in the sweet moment until eventually he reached for the Tupperware on the table.
“I just visited home this past weekend and my Mom made my favorite strawberry cake,” he explained as he opened the container to reveal the delicious treat. “I remember you said you loved strawberries so I brought you some.”
“I...I do love them,” you said softly, growing shy again upon realizing he had remembered you said that once.
“But, I feel bad having it if she made it especially for you,” you then added, giving him a little pout.
“Don’t feel bad. I’ve already eaten entirely too much of it,” he admitted as he started cutting two pieces and putting them on paper plates.
“Seriously, you’re going to have to let out all of my clothes,” he joked lightheartedly.
At that you couldn’t help but let out a loud, genuine laugh.
“Besides, she made extra just so I could bring you some,” he went on as he handed you a plate.
“Well, thank you,” you said, your heart fluttering wildly knowing he’d thought of you while he was away. “And, please tell your Mom I said thank you, too.”
Not wanting him to see the suspiciously strawberry-like hue that once again adorned your cheeks, you quickly turned your attention to your cake. You were just about to take your first bite when a strong gust of wind blew across the roof and caught the paper plate like a parachute. In slow motion, you watched as the plate and the cake flew backwards directly into your chest. For several moments, you sat there frozen, your eyes wide and your mouth agape. Eventually, you slowly looked down and pulled the plate away only to discover that most of the cake remained stuck to your shirt in a giant lump.
You were mortified. Truly the most embarrassed you had ever been in your entire life. You wished another huge gust of wind would blow you off the roof or that aliens would come and abduct you or that a portal to another world would open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Anything to save you from the sheer torture of sitting next to the man you were head over heels for while covered in cake, looking like the world’s biggest idiot.
You were legitimately on the verge of tears when suddenly Tae did the absolute last thing you could have imagined him doing at that moment: he smushed his cake against his own chest. Whipping your head around to look at him, you found him looking totally nonchalant as he dipped a finger into the sugary mess and then popped it into his mouth.
“Cake shirt,” he said casually. “The latest, greatest, and tastiest fashion trend.”
Two seconds later the two of you began laughing so loudly that you were positive all of Seoul heard you. You laughed so hard you cried and at some point tears of gratitude mixed in with the tears of laughter. What he had done was truly ridiculous, but also just so unbelievably selfless. He took what was a terribly embarrassing incident for you and turned it into a silly, wonderful moment for you both. It was honestly one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for you.
And just like that, you had fallen.
When you got home that night, though, and the weight of it all finally sank in, you laid on your bed and cried an ocean of tears for you knew without question that your love for Kim Taehyung would only ever lead to one thing: heartbreak...
***
You didn’t know how long you had been up there. All you knew was that the sunset had come and gone and the pale light of the moon was now reflected in the dark water below. Your back was stiff from sitting for so long, your stomach was growling because you hadn’t eaten dinner, and you were cold, so very cold.
At some point you had pulled your Clair de Lune music box from the hidden pocket of your bag. Over and over and over again you wound it up and let it go, letting the sad, but beautiful melody wash over you. The sound that flowed from the small, jeweled box both soothed and tormented you. This seemed only fitting given that the person who gave it to you was the very man you both loved and hated with every single piece of your shattered heart.
As the final notes of the little tune drifted off into the night, you were about to wind the crank for the umpteenth time when suddenly the rooftop door slammed open. You flinched at the loud, intrusive sound, and frowned momentarily at how it disturbed your melancholic peace, but quickly reverted back to your catatonic state.
“Jagi?” you heard Tae shouting from across the roof, the panic in his voice evident. “Sweetheart, are you out here?”
Of course he had found you.
You didn’t answer him, but it didn’t matter because a few seconds later he rushed over to the table where you were sitting.
“Thank god you’re alright,” he said breathlessly as he threw his arms around you.
Whether from numbness due to the cold or the fact that you had long ago resigned yourself to simply stop feeling anything at all, you didn’t know, but at his touch you didn’t even shudder. You just sat there motionless and stoic.
“Sweetheart, you’re freezing,” he added a second later, clearly alarmed as he immediately stripped off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. “How long have you been out here?”
“Jagi, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he went on when you didn’t respond. “I waited and waited for you to call or text when you got home, but you never did. When I called your phone it went straight to voicemail and that never happens. Eventually, I went home to make sure you were OK, but you weren’t there. I went to your old apartment and you weren’t there either. I called Jia, but she hadn't heard from you. I had Jimin text Eunji to see if the stylists went out for drinks or something, but that wasn’t it either. I finally just came back here hoping to get some idea as to where you went and then I saw your car was still here. I searched the whole building twice before I thought to come up here.”
“I was so worried,” he then said, his voice shaky and hoarse. “I was afraid something terrible happened to you, that you got into a car accident or some crazy sasaeng fan kidnapped you or worse.”
His words were sweet and laden with concern, the exact kind one would expect from a loving partner, but they had no effect on you whatsoever. For all you knew, absolutely none of them were true. Upon hearing them, you didn’t look up at him or even acknowledge that he was there.
“Jagi, what’s wrong? Why are you up here all alone in the cold?” he then questioned, now sounding incredibly nervous.
Again, you didn’t respond. You just kept staring blankly ahead off into the distance.
“Sweetheart, please talk to me,” he pleaded as he took your cold hands in his. “Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”
Yes. You.
At that, you finally brought your gaze up to meet his. The cruel irony of his question caused something inside you to snap and you suddenly found yourself unable to hold it in any longer.
“Why did you lie and say Namjoon asked you to stay at the dorms?” you demanded sharply as you ripped your hands away from his.
“What?” he asked, clearly taken aback by the harshness of both your words and actions.
“Answer the question, Tae,” you ordered, glaring at him sternly. “Why did you lie to me?”
“Sweetheart, I-I’m...I just…,” he stammered before his voice trailed off.
He looked so confused and frightened right now, like he was in a state of legitimate shock, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care and just ploughed forward with your interrogation.
“Why did you lie about having me sent to TXT today?” you shot back heatedly.
Silence.
“Why did you lie about where you were last night?” you then spat out.
Crickets.
“Why do you keep lying to me?” you finally shouted, throwing your hands up in frustration.
“Jagi...I-I…It’s not…I can explain...,” he sputtered out before words seemed to once again fail him completely.
For what felt like an eternity you waited for that explanation, but when it didn’t come, and all he did was just stare at you with wide, horrified eyes, the dam inside you broke. In an instant, the blind rage you had been filled with vanished, leaving nothing but sheer desolation in its wake.
“If you can’t answer that question, then maybe you can answer this one,” you then said sadly as  tears welled up in your eyes. “How long have you been cheating on me with Jisoo?”
“W-What?” he whispered as his mouth went slack and the color completely drained from his face.
“Was last night the first time?” you asked, hating how broken and pathetic you sounded right now. “Or just the first time you accidentally let her leave marks?”
“That’s why you’re avoiding me, right? Why you kept your shirt on last night and why you didn't want me around you at the photoshoot today and why you wanted to stay at the dorms?” you added. “Because you don’t want me to see them?”
“She showed me the ones you left on her, the ones all over her chest,” you admitted tearfully as the terrible image appeared in your mind. “She showed me and then told me I should leave you because I was embarrassing myself by desperately clinging to someone who doesn’t love me.”
“She…she did...she said what?” he breathed out as he stood there aghast, seemingly unable to comprehend what you were saying.
“If you were tired of me you should have just broken up with me,” you then cried as a terrible sob left you. “You should have just told me that you didn’t love me anymore and left.”
“Instead you just kept lying to me, making promises you never intended to keep, all while seeing her behind my back,” you went on between shuddering breaths.
“She tried to tell me several times and I even saw your text messages with her under the secret contact ‘J’, but still I refused to believe it was true,” you continued bitterly. “That’s how pathetic I apparently am.”
“Oh my god...Jagi, no...it’s not...,” he began before you cut him off.
“My heart broke every single time I saw you hold her hand or kiss her cheek or call her Jagi, but I endured that heartache because I trusted that you were just pretending, that you only did it because you loved me,” you sobbed, your words almost incoherent.
“I trusted you, but all you did was lie to me and use me and hurt me,” you then said with a final whimper.
By the time you were done, your chest was heaving from the exertion of your outburst. You honestly thought for a second you might pass out, that’s how lightheaded and weary you felt, but after closing your eyes and taking several deep breaths the feeling eventually subsided. When you opened them again your gaze met Tae’s and the sadness you saw there in his big, brown eyes made your heart absolutely ache.
Speaking all of that into existence was supposed to make you feel lighter and freer. You were supposed to feel like a massive burden had been lifted off of your shoulders. But as you stood there watching his face start to crumple, saw his lower lip begin to tremble, the crushing weight you had been feeling all evening only grew heavier. As the tears began slowly trickling down his face, you tried to convince yourself they were tears of guilt, but with each passing second it became harder and harder to believe that.
Deep down in the pit of your stomach, a terrible, gnawing feeling began eating away at you from the inside out. You had imagined him reacting to this confrontation in a number of ways - getting defensive, looking guilty, becoming angry, evading your questions entirely - but you had not imagined this. The devastation you saw on his face was the same kind of devastation you had seen in your own reflection back in the elevator, the kind of devastation you only feel when the person you love most in the entire world absolutely shatters your heart.
“I-I’m not ch-,” he tried to say before his voice broke.
It looked like he was struggling to not just speak, but to simply breathe, and it took him several moments to regain his composure. Despite everything that had happened, how hurt and angry and scared you were, it still absolutely killed you to see him like this.
“I’m not cheating,” he finally managed to say, his voice shaky and strained, like it physically pained him to speak those words.
“I-I would never do that to you,” he went on as he wiped at his tears with the back of his hand. “I would never hurt you and betray you like that.”
“Then tell me what you’re hiding from me,” you quietly begged, afraid to let yourself believe he was telling the truth right now, but wishing desperately that he was.
“Please just tell me what was so important that you had to lie to me over and over again and physically hide from me,” you pleaded.
Slowly, wordlessly, he began unbuttoning his shirt, his tear-filled eyes never once leaving yours. Only once they were all undone and he had pulled back the two pieces of fabric did you tear your gaze away from his. Looking down at his exposed chest, you were met with a sight that instantly stole your breath:
Nothing.
There was nothing.
No bruises or bites or scratches. Not a single blemish on his smooth, honey skin.
However, it was not the absence of any signs of an intimate night that had stolen your breath, but the absence of something else.
Something beautiful and dazzling.
Something you had spent many hours gazing at and daydreaming about.
Something that Tae would use when he went to ask the most important question of his life.
“I’m getting my grandmother’s ring resized,” he whispered, “because I was going to propose.”
The moment those words left his lips, time itself came to a screeching halt. You felt suffocated, like a thousand pound weight had been dropped on your chest and you could not take even a single breath. For what might have been just seconds but felt like hours, neither of you spoke. You just stared into each other’s eyes, tears silently streaming down both your faces, until eventually he broke the agonizing silence.
“I’ve been secretly going to a jeweler's,” he said despondently, his voice wavering on every other word. “They’re the same ones who made the couple’s ring I gave you so I knew I could trust them to be discreet. I went there last Sunday so I could let them look at it and figure out how they were going to expand it. They said it wouldn’t be too difficult and that it shouldn’t take more than a few hours, but when I took it back last night everything went wrong. The band broke when they tried to stretch it and then the purple diamond fell out. They ended up having to keep it and told me to come back on Monday to pick it up.”
He then pulled out his phone and hastily navigated to his photos, swiping furiously until he stopped on one with a timestamp from last night and then handed the device to you. On the screen in front of you, against a backdrop of black velvet, was his grandmother’s ring, looking exactly as he’d just described. There was an obvious fracture in the silver band, the two disjointed ends thinned and misaligned. Next to the ring the purple diamond laid forlorn, having lost all its former luster and magnificence. The state of the ring mimicked your own with excruciating accuracy; it was utterly broken.
“I was so frustrated afterwards,” he went on, running his hands through his hair as fresh tears poured down his face. “Frustrated and scared because I didn’t want you to know that I didn’t have it. I’ve been talking so much lately about marrying you. I’ve been so excited that I’ve been talking about it too much . And, you’re so smart, Jagi. I knew you would realize right away that it wasn’t a coincidence if it just randomly went missing. You know I wear it constantly. When I sleep. When I shower. When we’re intimate. The only times I ever take it off are during performances when I’m afraid it will pop out and people will see and get the wrong idea. If you saw me without it you would have known something was up.”
“So I panicked and literally hid from you,” he continued, getting upset all over again as he got up and started frantically pacing back and forth. “I turned the thermostat down and wore a shirt to bed last night and hoped you would think I was just cold. I left early so you wouldn’t see me in the shower and so I could talk to Jimin and try to figure out a plan. I didn’t know what I was going to do since you obviously would have seen my chest while you were getting me ready, but then I bumped into Baekhyun and came up with the plan for you to help them.”
“And then I just had to go to the dorms for the rest of the weekend. I couldn’t be at home with you and keep hiding, not when all I wanted to do was be close to you. After how awful I was to you last night, I just wanted to take care of you and show you how sorry I am and how much I love you. I wanted to cuddle with you and make love to you and take a bubble bath together with that lavender oil that you love so much. But, if I did those things you would have seen my ring was gone and you would have known,” he said, sounding truly tormented.
“I felt terrible lying to you, but I didn’t know what else to do,” he then admitted, his voice thick with guilt and regret. “I’ve been planning this for months and dreaming about it for years. I didn't want to ruin the surprise. After everything that’s happened and how strong and patient and incredible you’ve been, I wanted this to be perfect for you, sweetheart. I wanted to give you the most romantic and special and memorable proposal because that’s what you deserve.”
For the briefest of moments, you saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, but in the blink of an eye it was gone as an awful realization seemed to sweep over him like a chilling breeze.
“And, Jisoo…she…she knew everything,” he then said in a hushed, almost frightened voice, teardrops glistening on his grief-stricken face. “Because I…I told her everything.”
At his words, the already throbbing ache in your chest intensified exponentially. The fact that she hadn’t secretly uncovered this precious information, but that he had willingly divulged it, made all of this that much more heartbreaking.
“When I first talked to your Dad he asked me what my intentions were and I told him right then that I wanted to marry you. That’s why we were on the phone for so long,” he confessed. “I was going to officially ask for his blessing at Christmas which meant the faking dating needed to be over by then. There was absolutely no way I was going to look your father in the eye and ask for your hand in marriage while even pretending to be involved with another woman.”
“But, the Sunday night when Jisoo and I talked on the phone she was adamant that we keep going until after New Year’s. I told her we had to stop long before then, but she was being stubborn and kept asking why and saying it would look suspicious to break up just before the holidays. Eventually, I left the room and told her what I was planning and why it was so important that we end everything sooner,” he admitted remorsefully.
“She was so understanding and supportive when I told her and after that she kept asking how the planning was going and offering advice and words of encouragement. That day in her recording lab I was telling her some of my proposal ideas and she was just so excited for us,” he explained, sounding so distressed, so betrayed.
“At least, she pretended to be excited,” he added quietly as his head fell into his hands. “Just like she pretended to be upset today when I told her what happened to the ring.”
“But, all along she...she was planning this,” he then whispered, his gaze fixed on the ground in a blank, lifeless stare as the realization of what she had done finally hit him.
The silence that then followed was deafening. Deafening and suffocating and truly unbearable. There were simply no words to describe all that you felt in that moment.
The shock.
The heartbreak.
The rage.
Jisoo had played you. Like a violin, she had played you both, masterfully orchestrating the intricate and deadly symphony that served as the soundtrack to the implosion of your relationship.
She knew. She fucking knew.
She knew the gravity of this precious secret, knew the extraordinary lengths he would go to in order to keep it, and cruelly exploited that to her advantage. She took Tae’s innocence and romanticism, twisted and distorted them into weapons, and forced him to unknowingly wield them against you.
This tactic of psychological warfare had never been more successfully and savagely put to use than it had been today. The way she manipulated the situation was ingenious. It was sadistic and selfish and truly unforgivable, but undeniably ingenious. She knew he was hiding from you and waited until the exact moment that you were most vulnerable to provide you with what seemed, at the time, to be the only logical explanation for Tae’s confusing and hurtful behavior.
The heartbreaking truth in all this was that you would have been suspicious if Tae’s ring went missing all of a sudden. Whenever he had his shirt off, it was the first thing that caught your eye. When you showered together, you liked to twist your fingers around the chain and gently tug him towards you with it. If you wore a tank top to sleep, the cool metal of the band sometimes tickled your back when he snuggled you against him. When he made love to you, it dangled down and brushed against your own chest. Any time you got him dressed for a shoot or interview or performance, you checked to make sure it was well hidden. You had been intrigued by it the very first time you saw it peeking out of his shirt all those years ago, but now that you knew it was one day destined for your finger it was even more mesmerizing.
The fact that Tae had been talking about marriage a lot lately would have only added to your suspicion. Since that day on the couch when he first told you he wanted to marry you, the topic had come up numerous times. You talked about it after he told you about his dream. He once casually asked you what time of year you thought would be best for a wedding. While you were watching a movie where someone proposed via a flash mob, he nonchalantly asked if you would like a grand gesture like that or want it to be more low key. One morning while you were snuggling in bed he even shyly referred to you as ‘future Mrs. Kim’.
Him saying Thursday night that he wanted to start a family in the next few years made you realize he was thinking of getting married much sooner than you initially thought. You didn’t know he was planning to propose this soon, but you did wonder if it might happen sometime in the next year. If he suddenly ‘lost’ his ring a day later, you definitely would have found that to be more than a little suspect, especially because you knew it needed to be resized before he proposed with it.
You knew this because you had asked Tae once if he ever put it on and he said no for two reasons: one, because it didn’t feel right to do so and two, because it wouldn’t fit anyway. Despite the fact that Tae had huge hands, his grandmother apparently had extremely tiny ones. He said the ring was so small that it wouldn’t even fit you. You involuntarily pouted a little after he said that as the idea of it perhaps not truly being meant for you crossed your mind, but he kissed your pouty lips, pulled back to give you a cheeky smile, and said, ‘it doesn’t fit you yet’.
The true gravity of the situation then hit you like a freight train. He was going to propose, was going to devote himself to you in the most meaningful and sacred of ways, and you just accused him of cheating, the most hurtful and disgraceful act one can commit against their partner. The irony was unbearably cruel. The whole situation was a complete and utter nightmare.
One which Jisoo had brought to life.
All at once, it was just too much. Too much information. Too many emotions. Too much to process and comprehend and accept. You just couldn’t handle it. You were so tired, so physically and mentally and emotionally drained. There was simply nothing left inside you.
The lightheadedness was back now, only this time it was infinitely worse. Your head began spinning and the ground beneath you started shifting and soon you were swaying on your feet. You felt nauseous too and suddenly so confused. You somehow couldn’t remember how or why you even ended up on the roof in the first place.
In a heartbeat Tae was in front of you, reaching up with both hands to gently cup your face. He was saying something, but you couldn’t make out the words. You couldn’t even hear him. It was like you were underwater, like everything was muted and heavy and happening in slow motion.
The world then started to fade away, the edges of your vision growing blurry until the only thing you could see was Tae, your Tae. The last thing you remember was the sound of his voice shouting your name and the feeling of his arms around you before everything went dark.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp @roguesthetic
148 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 52 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 7.0k
warnings: a lethal amount of fluff
Chapter 52: I Carry Jagi
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
As you stared at your doctor with wide-eyes, mouth parted in absolute disbelief, your hands subconsciously came to rest on your abdomen.
“I’m pregnant?” you questioned in a small, breathy voice.
“You are,” she confirmed with a tentative smile. “Both the urine and blood tests came back positive.”
She then walked over to the bed, pulled a clear bag out of her pocket, and handed it to you. Inside was a little plastic cartridge with your name written on it. It didn’t look quite like the ones you’d buy at the pharmacy, but it was very clearly a pregnancy test.
A pregnancy test displaying a positive result.
One of the very first questions the nurse asked when she did your initial examination was if there was any chance you were pregnant. Like every other time you had been asked this question by a medical professional, you immediately and automatically replied ‘no’. She said they would still do the tests since it was standard procedure, but you truly thought nothing of it at the time. It wasn’t until she left the room that you remembered that Tae had also wondered if you might be pregnant just two days earlier, but even then you still didn’t consider it to be a legitimate possibility. You two had only been having sex for a little over a month and had used protection every single time. The idea that your protection had somehow failed and you then happened to convince during one of the first few times you had sex seemed downright preposterous.
Looking back now, you realized there were actually numerous indications that this idea was not that far-fetched. You had been convinced that the nausea and body aches and fatigue you experienced this past week were all psychosomatic symptoms of your mental distress, but you failed to note the fact that, even when your mental health was infinitely worse several years ago, it hadn’t physically manifested to anywhere near this extent. The overly-emotional state you’d recently been in was another sign you had clearly missed. Although you had always been a sensitive person, you typically internalized your feelings instead of letting them out. During the last month, though, you had shed more tears than ever before in your life, sometimes with good reason, but honestly, sometimes without.
However, upon hearing your doctor’s next question, you realized there was another, far clearer signal that you had somehow not seen amidst the chaos of the fake dating fiasco.
“Do you recall the date of your last period?” she asked gently. “That will tell us how far along you are.”
To be honest, you never really kept track of your period. It had always come pretty regularly and, at least until recently, you never had any reason to believe that would change. Racking your brain, you tried to think of the last time your life was inconvenienced by this oh-so-wonderful aspect of womanhood. With a blush, a memory suddenly came to mind: you gently stopping Tae’s hands when they began wandering during a heated make-out session and then sheepishly telling him that you had your period.
You were embarrassed because you had completely forgotten and then been the one to escalate things with your own teasing touches, but he didn’t bat an eye at your admission. Instead, he said with utter sincerity that it didn’t bother him at all and that he still wanted to make you feel good in whatever way you were comfortable with. You were so appreciative of his words, but also a bit taken aback by them, especially since your college boyfriend barely touched you when you had your period, something which always made you feel a bit ashamed.
After pressing your lips to his, you shyly suggested that the shower might be the best place for you two to continue. He gave you a small, slightly mischievous smile in response before scrambling off of the bed, scooping you up in his arms bridal style, and then carrying you to the bathroom. Under the stream of hot water, while he murmured sweet nothings and filthy praises between slow, sensual kisses, he used his long, lithe fingers to not only make you feel good, but to make you feel beautiful and perfect just the way you were.
That intimate experience had taken place in your hotel room in Los Angeles during the second half of your trip to America. You had shared similar ones in the days that followed, but none, you suddenly realized, since returning home.
“It was about six or seven weeks ago,” you admitted quietly, feeling positively mortified that you had not noticed your missed period and therefore understood its massive implications sooner.
“Many women don’t realize they are pregnant this early on, especially if they weren’t actively trying to conceive,” she replied, clearly noting your embarrassment and trying to make you feel better.
“And, based on your reaction, I’m guessing you weren’t actively trying?” she then gently offered, absolutely no hint of judgement in her voice.
“No, we weren’t,” you confessed sheepishly as your face flushed. “So this...this is a big surprise.”
Over the next ten or so minutes, your doctor shared with you a rather overwhelming amount of pregnancy-related information. She explained that this was likely one of the reasons why you fainted due to the fact that your blood pressure drops during pregnancy which can lead to dizziness and actual fainting spells in some instances. She mentioned that you needed to start taking prenatal vitamins immediately and also encouraged you to make an appointment with your OB-GYN as soon as possible. She also let you know that someone would be coming by in a little while to perform an ultrasound to check the health of the fetus.
As grateful as you were for her support and guidance, you couldn't deny that you were relieved when she finally excused herself and exited the room. You just needed a moment alone to catch your breath and begin trying to process everything. Laying back down on the bed, you took the pregnancy test out of the bag, held it up in front of you, and stared at the two tiny, pink, life-changing lines.
Pregnant.
You were pregnant.
The baby that you and Tae had somehow conceived despite always using protection was currently growing inside you, had actually been growing inside you for a month and a half, and would be born in approximately seven and a half months at which point you and Tae would become real life parents.
The thought was absolutely mind blowing.
And, given that today had already been one the most overwhelming and unpredictable days of your entire life, that was saying a lot.
An infinite number of possibilities and questions and worries began rushing through your mind, but before you had a chance to contemplate even a single one, the door suddenly opened again. You immediately stuffed the pregnancy test underneath the pillow behind you before Tae entered the room.
“I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” he said, closing the door and removing his disguise. “That was Bang PD. He wants us both to meet with him and the lawyer tomorrow morning before I meet with Jisoo later in the day. He thinks Namjoon-hyung should go with me, which I agree is probably a good idea.”
“He also thinks I should…,” he continued before he looked over at you and immediately went quiet.
You were staring at him, the father of the child you just discovered you were carrying, with big, searching eyes, your heart thrumming in your chest with nervous anticipation.
“Jagi, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern as he quickly came to sit down next to you on the side of the bed. “Did something happen while I was gone?”
You opened your mouth to say ‘Yes’, to tell him the news you had just received which would change both your lives forever, but the words would not come out. They were stuck there in your throat, thick and heavy, threatening to suffocate you.
“Sweetheart?” he questioned worriedly.
After trying and failing to speak for almost another full minute, you eventually decided to forgo words entirely. Instead, you reached underneath the pillow behind you and pulled out the pregnancy test. With a trembling hand, you held it out to Tae, your heart threatening to leap out of your chest as he carefully took it from you and looked down.
Witnessing the exact moment that Tae realized he was going to be a dad was a truly breathtaking experience, one that you knew would be forever etched into your memory. His initial expression was one of total shock, his eyes wide and his mouth agape, but when he looked up at you and saw you smiling shyly, it morphed into one of pure, unadulterated joy. When he gave you the biggest, brightest, boxiest smile you’d ever seen on his beautiful face, your mind cleared of all thoughts save one.
I hope our baby has his smile.
“Jagi, you’re pregnant?” he whispered, gazing at you in wonder and amazement.
You nodded your head as your smile grew.
“Our baby is right here?” he then asked as he gently placed his hand on your abdomen.
“It is,” you replied quietly, bringing your hand down beside his and carefully lacing your fingers.
He was silent for several moments as he looked once more at the pregnancy test, down at your joined hands resting on your abdomen, and finally back up at you. Bringing his free hand up to cup your cheek, he then leaned in to give you the sweetest of kisses. As his lips moved against yours, slowly and tenderly, like he was savoring every single second, his thumb gently caressed your cheek. When he finally broke this kiss and pulled back to look at you, his eyes were filled with tears.
“Sweetheart, this is the happiest moment of my entire life,” he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted - a family with you, my best friend, my beautiful Jagi.”
His words enveloped you like a warm, comforting embrace, one that made you feel safe and loved and cherished. As confident as you were that this was going to be his reaction, hearing him voice his feelings so passionately and sincerely meant the absolute world to you. Knowing that he wasn’t just supportive, but truly excited, allowed you to finally embrace your own feelings.
“This has been my dream for three years, Tae,” you confessed, gazing into his misty eyes, tears pooling in your own. “I love you with all my heart and I’m so excited to be starting a family with you.”
“I love you too, Jagi,” he replied, still tenderly stroking your cheek. “I love you and our baby so much. I’m going to take care of you both and be the best husband and father I can possibly be. I promise I’ll always be there for you and for our family.”
Husband
The instant that word left his lips, you froze as the cold, harsh reality of your situation came crashing down upon you, shattering the blissful state you had been in just seconds ago. While you deeply appreciated his beautiful promise for the future, it sadly did nothing to lessen the blow that he had unintentionally just dealt you. With his declaration, Tae had reminded you of a simple, but crucial fact, one whose gravity had truly not occurred to you until this very moment:
Tae wasn’t your husband, at least not yet.
And, more importantly, he wasn't your husband when your baby was conceived.
It was this sobering realization that caused the first few tears to begin sliding down your cheeks.
The sad truth was that the stigma around premarital pregnancy was still very strong. In the K-pop world specifically, where there was already so much drama regarding idol’s relationships, it was an even bigger issue. This fact was put on wide display earlier in the year when the lead vocalist from the group EXO, Chen, announced his engagement to his pregnant girlfriend. Many people in their fandom and elsewhere in the K-pop community were supportive, but a surprising number of people were not. They said terrible things about him and his fiancé, calling him selfish and reckless and accusing her of trapping him with the pregnancy. Some even went so far as to call for his immediate removal from the group.
If word ever got out that lovable, innocent BTS darling, Kim Taehyung, was having a baby out of wedlock, with his own stylist of all people, it would be a massive scandal. There was obviously so much more to the story than that, so much nuisance regarding the situation and your relationship as a whole, but all of that would surely be lost within the media frenzy. The public debate and backlash could spell the end of Tae’s career, jeopardize everything BTS has spent almost a decade building, and, worst of all, cause so much hurtful speculation about you, your relationship, and your baby.
Even if the truth was never revealed to the general public, you and Tae would certainly still face judgment. You trusted that your family, Tae’s family, and the rest of the guys would be supportive, but after that you honestly weren’t sure. It pained you to admit that many of your own relatives would no doubt find your situation to be rather shameful. Some of them were extremely conservative and believed you shouldn’t even have sex before marriage. They might never say anything directly to you, but you knew they would wonder and whisper and forever view you differently.
At Big Hit, the fallout would likely be even more extreme. Bang PD and the management team certainly weren’t going to be thrilled to learn of this scandalous surprise, especially since they were already worried Jisoo might divulge information about your relationship. Everyone else in the company would also surely have opinions on the matter. You and Tae being together was going to be enough of a controversy as it was and an unplanned pregnancy would only add more fuel to the fire. People like Eunji and Donghae might have your back, maybe even Mrs. Choi as well, but other staff members were absolutely going to gossip. You were leaving Big Hit soon, so you thankfully wouldn't have to deal with that for very long, but Tae would have to endure it for at least the next five years.
Complicating things further was the fact that many of the people in your life would not be allowed to know you were with Tae until after he left Big Hit. There weren’t hard and fast rules about who you could or couldn’t tell, but you were supposed to keep the circle of people as small as possible and everyone you told had to sign an NDA. People like distant relatives and casual friends were going to eventually find out that you were pregnant, but you wouldn’t even be able to fully explain why you had to keep your relationship with the father hidden which would only make things look that much more suspicious.
The unavoidable truth was that people were going to have questions regarding the nature of your relationship once they learned that you and Tae had gotten pregnant before you were even engaged, let alone married. Even if they someday came to accept that you were in love and happy to be raising a child together, they might always have lingering doubts about the true reason why you got married. Knowing that people might forever question the sincerity of your commitment to one another honestly just broke your heart.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Tae asked, his brow furrowing slightly as he studied your face. “Those don’t look like tears of joy.”
“Are you nervous about becoming a parent?” he offered when you didn't immediately reply. “If you are, that's perfectly OK. I’m nervous too, but it’s going to be alright. We’re going to figure everything out together. You're going to be an amazing mom. I just know it.”
“It’s n-not that,” you replied weakly, your heart melting upon hearing his sweet words of assurance.
For the second time that night, you took a deep, steadying breath and summoned the courage to tell Tae something that you knew would be extremely hard for him to hear.
“I’m afraid that people will judge us,” you whispered.
“I’m afraid that they will think you’re only marrying me because you got me pregnant”, you then admitted tearfully, glancing down at the ringless finger in your joined hands.
“That they’ll think we were just hooking up and being irresponsible and that our baby…,” you went on before your voice broke.
Looking back up at Tae, you found that the tender, loving expression he had worn since the moment you gave him the pregnancy test had vanished and in its place was one of unbearable sadness. You knew your next words would only amplify the anguish he already felt, but you just couldn’t hold them in. They were simply too great a burden to bear by yourself.
“That our baby was a mistake,” you finally confessed with a terrible sob.
Tears instantly welled up in his own eyes, but before you had a chance to see them fall he climbed onto the bed beside you and lifted you up onto his lap. Safely cradled in his arms, you began sobbing into his chest, holding absolutely nothing back as feelings of fear and sadness and guilt poured out of you. He was clearly trying to be strong for you, stroking your back soothingly and pressing endless kisses to your temple, but you could tell from the deep, shuddering breaths he took that he too was struggling to keep it together.
“T-That’s not going to happen,” he stammered out, his voice hoarse and strained, filled with such obvious pain. “I’m not going to let that happen.”
“I won’t let anyone think those awful things about us and our baby,” he then vowed as he lightly rocked you in his arms. “I won’t, Jagi. I won’t.”
“I have always wanted you to be my wife and always wanted to have a family with you,” he went on. “I’ll make sure everyone knows that.”
“I-I promise,” he added quietly, almost to himself rather than to you.
You desperately wanted to believe him, to dismiss your fears and trust that he could protect you both from this hurt, but you knew in your heart that this promise was one he could not keep. No matter what he said or did, the truth was people were going to think what they wanted to think. Some would take the time to understand and appreciate your long and complex and beautiful love story, but some unfortunately would not. Some would judge you and doubt you and accuse you and you would just have to learn how to live with that. When he said nothing more, just held you to him ever more tightly as a heartbreaking silence fell over the room, you knew he too had accepted this reality.
The two of you stayed there like that for a long time, Tae gently running his fingers through your hair while you absentmindedly traced patterns across his chest with your own. You felt incredibly guilty for ruining the joyous moment by sharing your fears, but you also knew it was for the best that you were both aware of what was likely to come. Sooner or later, people would find out about your situation and, when they did, they would inevitably begin asking questions and sharing their opinions. You two needed to be prepared for how you were going to respond and then cope with the pain that would undoubtedly be caused.
“Jagi,” Tae suddenly said to break the silence. “We can get married right away - tomorrow even, if I could meet with your dad first - but no one outside of our family and close friends needs to know that it happened after you got pregnant.”
It took you several moments to register the words he had spoken and their greater implications, but when you finally did you raised your head off of his shoulder to look at him.
“Are you…are you saying we should lie about when we got married?” you asked hesitantly.
“Sweetheart, what does being married mean to you?” he asked in reply, his tone warm and affectionate.
You were quiet for several moments while you considered his question. On the surface, marriage was a formal, legal union between two people, but its true meaning ran so much deeper than that. When you thought of marriage, the very first thing that came to mind was the one your parents had shared for twenty five years. You thought of all the ways, both big and small, that they showed their love for one another. You thought about how they wholly accepted one another, faults and all, and helped each other grow. You thought of all the compromises and sacrifices they made and how their relationship and your family was always their top priority. And, above all else, you thought of their unwavering commitment to each other right up until the very end.
“That you’re committed to spending your life with someone and to loving and supporting them no matter what,” you finally answered, your eyes shimmering from the remembrance of those sad, but beautiful memories.
“That is exactly how I feel,” he replied, wiping away your tears that had fallen. “And, in my eyes, we’ve already made that commitment.”
“We made and sealed it when I gave you this,” he then said softly as he took your hand and ran his thumb along your couple’s ring.
“This ring was a promise of marriage, sweetheart,” he confessed as he brought your hand to his lips and placed a little kiss to your ringed-finger. “A promise of forever.”
“You knew that, right?” he then asked, giving you a small, slightly bashful smile. “You knew then that I wanted to be your husband and for you to be my wife?”
As you laid there in his arms, gazing into his eyes and seeing nothing but love reflected in them, you thought back to that morning in your bedroom when he gave you the ring…
For a moment you were utterly speechless. You knew without question that it was not a coincidence that this ring matched the one he wore around his neck and the knowledge of that fact was overwhelming in the best way possible. The statement he was making by giving it to you was clear as day and had you falling impossibly deeper in love with him.
“Baby, it’s absolutely beautiful,” you said breathlessly as he gently took the ring from you and slipped it onto your finger. “Thank you so much.”
You then crawled out from under the covers and climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he automatically snuck his around your waist. He was sporting the biggest, brightest smile, one you found yourself instantly mimicking due to the abundance of love and joy that was blooming in your chest.
“You’re beautiful,” he said shyly as he pulled you closer and brought his lips to yours for a slow, sweet kiss.
“I love you, Jagi,” he then said softly after breaking away and looking deeply into your eyes. “I know things are difficult right now, but if you’re ever feeling anxious or scared or are having doubts about anything I want you to look down at this ring and remember that I will always love you.”
At his words, happy tears instantly pooled at the corners of your eyes. He always knew just what you needed, always knew just what to say to reassure you.
“I’ll always love you, too,” you said quietly as you pressed your lips against his once more and took his hand, intertwining your fingers and bringing together the two rings you now wore to symbolize your commitment to one another.
In that moment you knew that all you needed to do was trust in him and the love you had for one another. If you did that, no matter what anyone else did or said, you two would surely be OK...
“I did,” you finally replied as a shy smile spread across your face. “As soon as I saw the purple color, I knew.”
“I was so excited because I wanted that too,” you then confessed, now beaming back at him. “More than anything.”
At the sound of your words, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before pulling back to look at you with a soft smile and adoring eyes.
“Sweetheart, I consider that the day that our lifelong partnership truly began,” he then said sincerely. “We exchanged those rings and vowed to always love each other in our own little special commitment ceremony.”
“Tannie was the witness,” he then added cheekily. “In fact, he was the ring bearer.”
At that, you couldn't help but smile and let out a soft laugh.
“We’ve been living out that commitment since then, Jagi, and that's what's most important,” he went on, growing serious once more. “We’ve been through so much, but we haven't given up on each other or our future together. We’ve acknowledged our mistakes, apologized and offered forgiveness, and promised to work on ourselves so we can become better partners and have a stronger, healthier relationship. We’ve continued to love and support each other no matter what.”
"If anyone questions the timeline of everything we’ll say that we had a private ceremony, that you got pregnant shortly after and we couldn’t be happier about it, and that we plan to have a wedding reception next year to celebrate with our family and friends," he then continued, sounding so sure and confident. "But, the fact that we didn't legally get married on the day of that ceremony isn't anyone’s business but our own."
As you gazed up at him, taking in his soft, earnest expression and the warmth it radiated, all of the fear and doubt that had been lingering in your heart melted away. What he was proposing wasn’t about fudging dates or saving face or avoiding a scandal. It wasn’t about lying. It was about acknowledging and embracing and protecting the most important truth of all: that you and Tae were deeply in love and fully committed to each other and to spending your lives together when your baby was conceived.
You didn’t need a legal document to prove that. Anyone who thought you did didn’t understand the true meaning of marriage anyway and therefore didn’t deserve to be given an opportunity to pass judgement. You and Tae had every right to protect yourselves and your baby from those people and anyone else who might hurt you, intentionally or otherwise. If that meant not publicly disclosing the date on which you actually signed a marriage license, you were perfectly OK with that. In all honesty, that day would never feel like the true beginning of your life together anyway.
“Can we celebrate the day of our little special commitment ceremony as our anniversary?” you then asked hesitantly, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he replied, giving you an adorably shy smile.
After reaching up to brush away a loose strand of your hair, he cupped your cheek and pulled you in for the softest, sweetest, most loving kiss, one that somehow, after all this time, caused a million butterflies to begin fluttering in your chest.
“You know, you called me Tannie’s mommy for the first time when you had him bring me the ring that morning,” you reminded Tae once he finally released your lips. “I loved the way it sounded and couldn’t help but imagine you calling me that when we actually had children.”
“Mommy,” he said softly, rubbing his nose against yours. “You’re going to be a mommy very soon.”
“And, you’re going to be a daddy,” you replied back as you kissed the tip of his nose.
“I am,” he said excitedly as a giant grin spread across his face. “I can’t believe it. I’m going to be a dad. You’re going to be a mom. We’re going to have a baby!”
He bent down to give you another quick kiss before lifting you up off his lap and laying you down beside him. You assumed he was going to come lay next to you so you could cuddle, but then he scooted down towards the foot of the bed and laid by your legs instead. You were confused at first, but when he gently lifted your shirt up a little you finally realized what he was doing.
“Hi little one,” he whispered against your tummy before placing a kiss just below your belly button. “This is Daddy.”
“I can’t wait to meet you and give you all the snuggles and kisses,” he cooed. “I can’t wait to see you and Mommy together and hold you both in my arms. My sweetheart and our baby.”
“I already love you so much,” he went on. “I love you and Mommy both so much, more than anything else in the whole world.”
As you watched him pepper more kisses all over your tummy, each one punctuated with an adorably loud ‘mwah’, you thought for sure that your heart would burst. Since the day you watched Tae play peekaboo with Son Sung Deuk’s baby for ten straight minutes, you knew he would one day make a great dad, but not even that sweet interaction could have prepared you for this. It had only been twenty minutes, but dad-to-be Tae was already beyond anything you could have imagined in your wildest dreams. You truly could not have asked for a more loving, supportive, and wonderful partner to raise a child with.
“However, because I love you I feel obligated to inform you that you are our first baby and that we have absolutely no idea what we’re doing,” Tae suddenly admitted, which made you giggle. “We’re going to read all the parenting books and ask your grandparents for advice and try our very best every single day, but it might be a little rough in the beginning. It’s going to take Mommy and I a little while to become fluent in baby language so I apologize in advance for any miscommunication. Hopefully we can resolve any issues amicably over a bottle of warm milk, but if you have any major concerns you can file a formal complaint with our family’s HR manager, Tanju.”
You were cracking up now, not just because of what he said, but how he said it. He sounded so serious and professional and wore a completely straight face. It was honestly as if he was in some super important business meeting brokering a huge deal.
“Being the first baby will have its perks, though,” he went on, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he spoke. “We’ll love you longest out of all of our children so you can rub that in your future sibling’s faces if they’re ever mean to you. You’re going to be the first grandchild on either side too, so you know you’re going to get extra spoiled because of that. And, you’re also going to be the first BTS baby which is quite the honor. Everyone thought Joon-hyung and Aera or Jin-hyung and Yuri would be first, but Mommy and I swooped in and beat everyone. We honestly weren’t even trying to win the race, but our baby-making skills were apparently just that good.”
At this point, you were laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. How he had managed to come up with all of that off the top of his head was simply beyond you. Of all the reasons why you loved Tae, of which there were many, his imagination and sense of humor were two of the biggest. It was moments like these that made you realize just how lucky you were to be in love with your best friend. With him by your side, you knew there would never be a dull moment as long as you lived.
“Basically, what I’m trying to say is that Mommy and I are awesome, we love you so much, and everything is going to be alright,” he then said, his stoic expression finally slipping as he cracked a smile. “We can’t wait to meet you in a couple months and introduce you to everyone, but until then you just focus on growing big and strong and maybe trying not to make Mommy too sick if you can help it.”
After whispering one more ‘I love you’ and giving your stomach a final kiss, Tae crawled back up to lay beside you. As he wound his arms around you and pulled you close, you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. Laying there together like that, you felt truly and completely at peace.
“I’m going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to make fun of me,” Tae suddenly said a few minutes later, sounding rather serious.
“OK, I promise I won’t,” you replied back, lifting your head to glance at him.
He was quiet for a few moments, his hands nervously fidgeting at your sides as he looked anywhere but at you.
“I already have a list of like thirty potential baby names,” he finally admitted with a sheepish smile.
“You do?” you whispered, giving him major heart-eyes as a big, dopey grin spread across your face.
“I do,” he confirmed, blushing wildly as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table where it had been charging. “I randomly thought of some a few months ago and wrote them down so I wouldn’t forget. Since then I’ve been adding to the list whenever I think of another one.”
He navigated to his ‘Notes’ app, clicked on one plainly titled ‘Names’, and then handed his phone over to you. There were a bunch of names on the screen in front of you for both boys and girls, but it was the first one on the list that immediately drew your attention.
“Jimin is the first name you thought of?” you asked before you burst out laughing.
“It wasn’t the first one,” he defended with a pout. “I just put it at the top of the list when I added it.”
“He says we have to name one of our kids after him so he can nickname them ‘Mini-Min’,” Tae then told you with a silly smile.
“Jimin would request that we name a kid after him,” you said back, rolling your eyes teasingly.
“What if we name one Taemin?” you offered a moment later. “That way they’ll be sort of named after you, but can still have the nickname ‘Mini-min’.”
“That could be a good compromise,” he replied, nodding his head in agreement. “I’ll add it to the list and run it by Jimin.”
For the next half hour you sat there together in your hospital bed, him leaning against the wall with you between his legs, snuggled against his chest. With one hand he held you safely to him, his fingers rubbing back and forth in a gentle, soothing way across your tummy underneath your shirt. With his other hand he held his phone up in front of you both while he scrolled through endless lists of names as well as numerous articles about pregnancy and babies and parenthood. It was all a bit surreal, and a little overwhelming too, to be honest, but knowing that you would be tackling everything together comforted you and made you far more excited than you were nervous.
When the ultrasound technician arrived a short while later, Tae quickly put his disguise back on which honestly made you a bit emotional. Even if the ultrasound was only going to show fuzzy black and white images of a little bean, it was still your little bean that you would be seeing for the first time. He was going to be wearing the biggest smile, you just knew it, and it broke your heart a tiny bit to know that you wouldn’t get to see it. However, you understood that he needed to be careful, not just for his sake or your sake anymore, but for the sake of your baby.
The technician was incredibly friendly and thankfully didn’t make any sort of fuss over the fact that Tae was clearly wearing a disguise. She talked to you both normally, carefully explaining what she was going to be doing and answering any questions that either of you had before she got started. From how nervous yet excited you both were, she correctly guessed that this was your first baby and then assured you that everything you were feeling right now was completely normal.
Tae held your hand the whole time she prepped you, periodically giving it little squeezes while his thumb softly stroked yours. When it was just about time to begin, he brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a little kiss through his facemask. As your joined hands then came to rest on the bed beside you, the technician began reaching over to grab the ultrasound transducer before suddenly stopping and turning back to face you both.
“You can take your disguise off if you’d like, Mr. Kim,” she said quietly, giving Tae a small, hesitant smile. “I promise I’m not going to tell anyone that you and your partner are expecting...or that you’re in a relationship to begin with.”
“For starters, it would be medically unethical, but, regardless, I would never betray your trust or violate your privacy like that. I respect you and the rest of the members too much to ever do such a thing,” she then said, her tone unmistakably sincere.
As your mouth dropped open, you looked over at Tae to find that his eyebrows had shot up above his sunglasses in obvious surprise.
“How did you…,” he began, his grip on your hand tightening as he spoke.
“Your voice,” she confessed shyly. “And your bracelets...and the fact that your sunglasses are Gucci.”
“I’m sorry if it's weird that I recognized you and I’m sorry if I’m being too forward,” she then quickly added. “It’s just...you shouldn’t have to hide right now.”
“Yes, you are ‘V’, the K-pop idol for BTS, but you are, first and foremost, Kim Taehyung, the person,” she went on passionately. “You deserve to enjoy this experience openly and proudly like every other expecting father. The two of you make such a cute couple and I can tell that you love each other so much. You should be able to share this special moment together without anything taking away from it.”
For perhaps the hundredth time that evening, tears welled up in your eyes, only these ones were decidedly happy. Her little speech was wonderful and adorable and everything you wanted and needed to hear. It was like she had read your mind and vocalized all of the thoughts she found swirling in there. You could tell from how sincerely she had spoken that she was suggesting this not just so she could catch a glimpse of Tae, but because she truly cared. Even though you had only known her for ten minutes, and even though Tae technically wasn’t supposed to reveal himself to anyone, you felt in your heart that you could trust her. So, when Tae turned towards you, silently asking for your thoughts, you nodded your head.
“What’s your name?” he asked as he turned back to face her.
“Chaewon,” she replied, now looking slightly nervous.
“Thank you, Chaewon,” he then said as he removed his mask, sunglasses, and hood. “Thank you for the kindness and respect you’ve shown us. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”
“Yes, thank you so much,” you added, giving her an appreciative smile.
“You’re welcome,” she replied politely. “But, I’m really just doing my job.”
“As a medical professional and as an ARMY,” she then added with a little grin.
Tae gave her a big, boxy smile in return before turning back to look at you. He leaned down and gave you a kiss, told you again that he loved you so much, and then took your hand once more.
“OK,” he said, barely able to contain his excitement. “We’re ready to see our baby.”
~~~
It was almost 2:00 AM when the Big Hit company driver pulled up in front of the apartment complex. The trip home from the hospital had only taken twenty minutes, but that had apparently still been long enough for you to fall into a deep sleep. By the time you had fully woken up, you weren’t even in the car anymore, you were in Tae’s arms and he was already walking into the lobby.
“Tae,” you mumbled sleepily. “I can walk.”
“Nope,” he quickly replied. “Not allowed.”
“Jagi carries baby, I carry Jagi,” he then stated proudly.
Smiling to yourself at how unbelievably adorable he was, you didn’t protest again and instead just burrowed deeper into his warm, loving embrace, your hand resting over the front pocket of his shirt where the sonogram printout was safely tucked. You and Tae had both cried during the ultrasound, softly when the first image came up on the monitor, but in earnest when you saw your baby’s heartbeat. It was, without a doubt, the most incredible experience of your life. As he whisked you past the garden of beautiful purple flowers, humming happily to himself while he pressed little kisses to the top of your head, you felt more certain than ever that everything wouldn’t just be alright, it would be wonderful.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp @roguesthetic @ dreadity @belladaises @bangtannoonalvg  @chickennoonasoup
112 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 51 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 8.2k
warnings: none
Chapter 51: The Candle And The Sun
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
The moment the paramedics closed the ambulance doors, the gravity of the whole situation finally started sinking in. You had a terrible fight with Tae during which you accused him of cheating and still needed to have what would surely be a heart wrenching conversation with him about it. Your secret was out and you were going to be fired. And, you had fainted, been unconscious for over a minute, and were now headed to the hospital, one of your least favorite places on Earth.
Each one of those experiences was incredibly stressful in and of itself so the fact that they all occurred within the span of an hour was downright overwhelming. As the ambulance roared to life, you could feel the panic beginning to envelop you, but then suddenly Mrs. Choi reached over from where she was sitting beside you and took your hand. She didn’t say anything, just gave you a smile which you returned, but with that small, simple gesture you felt yourself instantly relax. You weren’t alone. It was going to be OK. Taking a deep, steadying breath, you pulled out your phone with your free hand and sent a few quick messages to Tae.
[Taehyung 7:52 PM] I know you’re busy meeting with Bang PD, but I just want to say I’m so sorry for everything.
[Taehyung 7:52 PM] Thank you for taking care of me and sticking up for me and coming with me.
[Taehyung 7:53 PM] I love you and I’ll see you soon.
The drive went by rather quickly and before you knew it, you were being wheeled into the emergency department at the Seoul National University Hospital. Bypassing the horde of people in the waiting room, you were immediately escorted to a private, secluded room just as Bang PD had requested. It looked a little on the nicer side compared to the other hospital rooms you’d had the misfortune of frequenting throughout your mom’s illness, but all in all it was about what you were expecting: cold, sterile, depressing. Thankfully you weren’t alone when the admissions nurse left the room; Mrs. Choi was there to help you get settled in and keep your nerves from running amuck. Even still, you were anxiously waiting for Tae to arrive.
[Taehyung 8:14 PM] Just got to the hospital.
[Taehyung 8:18 PM] I’m in room 304.
[Taehyung 8:20 PM] Mrs. Choi said she can meet you at the back entrance when you arrive and bring you here.
While you waited to hear back from Tae, Mrs. Choi and you made idle chit chat. To your surprise, she did not chastise you for your blatant disregard of the rules of your contract. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all about the massive revelation from the roof and the consequences you were surely going to suffer as a result. On the contrary, she was nothing but supportive, reassuring you numerous times that everything was going to be OK and urging you to rest. Her presence was extremely comforting and you found yourself feeling increasingly grateful that she had offered to come with you.
When the door to your room opened fifteen minutes later, your heart immediately leapt thinking Tae had finally made it, but it sunk back down just as quickly when you realized your visitor was just another nurse. After Mrs. Choi quietly excused herself to the waiting room to give you privacy, the nurse began doing an examination. She checked your vitals again and asked you some general questions about your health and medical history. Next, she had you go into the en-suite bathroom to provide a urine sample so they could run some tests. Finally, she drew some of your blood so even more tests could be done. Once you were done with all that, she let you know that a doctor would be in with you shortly and then exited the room, leaving you alone for the first time since everything happened.
[Taehyung 8:38 PM] They just took my blood and I didn’t even cry.
[Taehyung 8:38 PM] You would be so proud.
[Taehyung 8:39 PM] But, I still wish I could have held your hand.
[Taehyung 8:40 PM] Are you close?
[Taehyung 8:45 PM] Or at least only your way?
You couldn’t deny that you were beginning to get ever-so-slightly stressed that Tae hadn’t arrived yet or, at the very least, responded to your texts. Back on the roof, Bang PD had made it seem like their conversation would be brief, but it had now been over an hour since you left Big Hit. If the whole point of letting Tae come was so that he could be with you during the examinations and procedures and other things that frightened you, why was Bang PD keeping him this long?
When the door opened again a little while later and it once again wasn’t Tae, but rather your doctor, your heart plummeted even further. She was an older woman with a kind face and an even kinder voice, but her warm smile did nothing to calm your nerves. She agreed with the paramedic’s initial assessment, that you fainted due to a combination of low blood sugar from not having dinner and emotional distress from your fight. However, she did still order an electrocardiogram to check for any heart arrhythmias and said a technician would come by soon to administer the test. After telling you to just sit tight and giving you another encouraging smile, she then left the room.
[Taehyung 9:01 PM] They’re going to do an ECG to make sure my heart is OK.
[Taehyung 9:01 PM] I’m kind of nervous.
[Taehyung 9:02 PM] I hope you can get here soon.
As the seconds ticked by and still you received no response, your heart sank lower and lower and lower. You knew an ECG was a standard, completely harmless procedure, but you still wanted Tae there with you when it was performed. You wanted him to hold your hand and rub your thumb with his and remind you that everything was going to be OK. For twenty minutes you sat there staring at your phone, willing it to light up with a message notification, but sadly none ever came. When the door finally opened again and the ECG technician wheeled in the machine, your heart crashed down on the cold basement floor of your chest. Fighting back tears, you sent off a few more messages before putting your phone away so the test could begin.
[Taehyung 9:12 PM] Tae?
[Taehyung 9:12 PM] Is everything OK?
[Taehyung 9:13 PM] Are you still coming?
The second the tech left the room a half hour later, you glanced down at your phone only to be met with the same devastating sight as before: no new messages. Reading and rereading the unanswered string of evermore desperate-sounding ones you sent to Tae, a pit grew in your stomach as you began seriously considering the possibility that he wasn’t actually coming. You wondered if Bang PD changed his mind and decided not to let him come after all or worse, if he never intended for Tae to come in the first place and had only said that so he would leave the roof. You would be disappointed to learn that either of those things were true, but both of them were better than the other explanation swirling through your mind: that Tae had decided not to come.
He had been so affectionate and protective back on the roof, and had promised that the two of you would be OK, but what if that had just been a gut reaction? What if he had only acted that way because he felt guilty that you fainted? What if, now that the crisis was over and he’d had time to think through everything that happened, he was having second thoughts about you and your future together?
You knew it wasn’t productive or healthy to contemplate such things, but you couldn’t help it. You were alone and anxious, physically exhausted and emotionally unstable. The memory of Tae’s reaction to your accusation played on an endless loop in your mind, how his face had crumpled and his lower lip began to tremble before the first few tears slowly spilled out. He looked heartbroken, absolutely shattered, and it was all your fault. If he couldn’t forgive you for the hurt you’d caused and didn’t want to be with you anymore, could you even blame him?
Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you tried to corral your toxic, wandering thoughts. He promised he would be there and he promised you two would be OK. He promised. He wouldn’t break that promise. He wouldn’t have said those words if he didn’t mean them.
Right?
In an attempt to calm yourself down, you started singing ‘Sweet Night’ in your head. You tried to imagine the way Tae had done it back on the roof, how soft and soothing his voice had been, but the melody running through your mind right now was the opposite of comforting. It was unmistakably sorrowful, but two lines in particular had your breath hitching and your heart leaping up into your throat.
Now my forever’s falling down Wondering if you’d want me now?
Tae told you once that he wrote ‘Sweet Night’ from the perspective of his future self. Years from now, once he left BTS and you left Big Hit and the rules of your contracts no longer applied, he would come find you and confess his love. The window that was your time spent as colleagues and friends would be closed, but the door to your future as so much more would be wide open. You would walk through it together and the sadness of having once been ‘ships in the night’ would be forgotten entirely.
Unfortunately, that beautiful, picture perfect scenario is not the one that ended up playing out. After slowly drifting towards one another for three years, you grew impatient. You blatantly disregarded the will of the tides and instead chose to force your way forward with reckless haste. But, when the vast expanse of space between you finally disappeared, you didn’t pass by each other as nature intended, you collided, the result of which was your improbable, forbidden, whirlwind romance. And now, rather than floating on in opposite directions, the door still open to one day meet again and move forward together, you were both sinking to the bottom of the sea.
Maybe this was what you deserved. You broke the rules and cheated the system. You tried to have your cake and eat it too, but your plan backfired horrendously and now you were in danger of losing everything. In one fell swoop, you could lose the love of your life, your best friend, and your job. It would be a terrible end to your journey, but you would really only have yourself to blame.
Tears welled up in your eyes as the harsh reality began setting in. It had been almost two hours since you left Big Hit. If Tae was coming, surely he would have arrived by now. While there could still be a valid reason for why he wasn’t with you, his silence warned you not to get your hopes up. At this point, you realized it would probably be best for you to just acknowledge that he wasn’t coming and maybe even tell him you were doing fine on your own. That way if he had chosen not to come he wouldn’t feel so guilty and you also wouldn’t look so pathetic.
With a trembling hand, you pulled out your phone and began typing the message, trying to strike the right balance of contrition and nonchalance. After writing and rewriting it countless times, you were finally about to press send when suddenly the door to your room opened yet again. There in the doorway was a hooded figure, wearing a black facemask and dark sunglasses. The disguise was excellent, the average person would have no idea who was hidden behind it, but you knew instantly who it was.
Tae
For a few moments he just stood there, taking in the sight of you curled up on the bed in a sad, lonely heap, but then he was quickly stepping into the room. The instant the door closed behind him you burst into tears. In a heartbeat, he crossed the room and climbed onto the bed beside you, ripping off the hood, mask, and glasses as he went. As he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest, you buried your face in the crook of his neck and sobbed, letting out everything you had been holding back since you woke up back on the roof in a terrified daze.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he said guiltily between kisses to your temple. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”
“I meant to be here hours ago, but my meeting with Bang PD ended up being so long and then the security team had concerns about me coming here,” he went on as he rubbed your back soothingly. “My phone was dead so I couldn’t text you and I didn’t realize until we left just how late it had gotten.”
“But, I…I should have found a way to let you know what was happening,” he then added quietly as you continued to weep, your frail body racking with sobs. “I should have had someone else text you or Mrs. Choi. God, Jagi. I’m so sorry. You…you must have been so worried.”
It took you several minutes to calm down enough so that you could actually speak. The emotion you were most overcome with was relief, but there was a small part of you that was frustrated with him. The last two hours of radio silence had been torture. Just the briefest of messages from him could have put you at ease and stopped you from spiraling.
“I was afraid you weren’t coming,” you finally confessed, your words shaky and muffled.
“I texted you a bunch of times, but you didn’t respond,” you went on. “I started worrying that something was wrong.”
“I-I thought maybe you changed your mind about us being OK,” you then added, your voice breaking at the end.
He hugged you to him even more tightly as he realized just how much worry he had caused you by leaving you all alone and in the dark for so long.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he replied back, his voice thick and strained, filled with such pain. “Of course you would worry like that after two hours without hearing from me. It was so careless of me to let that happen. I should have realized the meeting would be long and asked to use someone’s phone as soon as the lawyer got there.”
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated before pressing a long kiss to your forehead.
Any trace of frustration you felt over his lack of communication vanished that instant. You just couldn’t be upset with him. Not when he sounded so remorseful and you were just so happy that he was finally there. And, not when it seemed like he had a valid and highly disconcerting reason to have been too distracted to get in touch with you.
“Baby, it’s OK,” you assured him, pulling back to look at him. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
“But…why did you have to meet with a lawyer?” you then asked nervously. “Are we in that much trouble for breaking our contracts?”
“No, it’s not that,” he quickly replied, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, we barely talked at all about our contracts and the fact that we broke them or how we’re going to be disciplined.”
Those words came as quite a bit of a shock, but it was his next ones that had your blood running cold.
“We actually spent the entire time talking about Jisoo,” he then said, his voice hushed.
At the mention of her name, a shiver went up your spine. So much had happened in the last few hours that you had almost forgotten what had been the ultimate catalyst for it all, but suddenly you were right back there with her in the elevator. Just remembering the smug smirk she had given you through the mirror as she flashed you those hickies was enough to make your insides churn.
“From the very beginning Bang PD was suspicious of my ‘relationship’ with her, not because he thought I was fake dating her to hide another relationship, but because he thought she might be blackmailing me,” Tae revealed with a shudder. “That’s obviously a serious accusation and he had no proof so he hadn’t said anything to me yet, but he’s been keeping an eye out for any signs that she was coercing me into being with her.”
“He had a meeting with her recently to discuss her contract renewal and the topic of our ‘relationship’ came up,” he went on. “She apparently made it seem like we were going to be together for a while, but did so in a way that felt strange and forced, like she knew for a fact that I wouldn’t be breaking up with her anytime soon. He said he just got a bad feeling from the conversation and that it reinforced his worry that something was wrong.”
“He was actually going to ask to meet with me next week to talk about it, but then everything happened tonight. When we met in his office, I told him the whole story about the fake dating cover, including that I was planning to propose and how she manipulated the situation and tried to break us up. He’s now more worried than ever that she might try something,” he then said nervously.
“Tae, what exactly do you mean by ‘try something’?” you questioned, fear evident in your shaky voice.
“He thinks that if I confront her and try to end the fake dating agreement, she’ll threaten to reveal our relationship to the public,” he admitted, looking and sounding deeply concerned.
“Which is why he called in one of the Big Hit lawyers so we could talk through our options and make a plan,” he then quickly explained. “They want me to meet with her and secretly record it so we can go to the police with hard evidence if she tries to threaten or blackmail me.”
Up until now, you hadn’t really even thought about what you and Tae were going to do with regard to Jisoo. You were so focused on the future of your own relationship that it hadn’t occurred to you that he needed to end the fake one he was in with her. As much as you wanted to believe that Bang PD and the lawyer were overreacting, that they were taking such measures out of an abundance of caution, you knew in your heart that their concerns were completely justified.
She had already done unspeakably terrible things and proven she was a cruel, sadist person who only cared about herself and couldn’t be trusted. The idea that she was going to let things between her and Tae end in a quiet, amicable manner was simply absurd. A wave of anxiety crashed over you upon realizing how much more pain she could cause you two with all the information she had about your relationship. She knew so much, enough to ruin Tae’s image and possibly even his entire career, enough to jeopardize not only your privacy and safety, but that of the other members and their partners
“Jagi, it’s going to be OK,” he assured you, noting your fearful expression. “We have help now. We don’t have to do this alone. For all we know she might not even try anything, but if she does Big Hit will protect us.”
“Before I meet with her, though, I need to know everything. What she said and when she said it. How she threatened you. How she was able to do this to us,” he then added, his tone somber.
“Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?” he asked gently as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I promise I’m not going to be mad and that we’re still going to be OK after you do.”
With a heavy heart, you nodded and then started recounting everything that had led you to this fateful moment. You admitted that the night she suggested they ‘up their game’ was when you began questioning her motives. You also confessed that was when you first wondered if he secretly enjoyed spending time with her. You explained how she then started taunting you the following Friday afternoon and how you initially just clapped back saying you didn’t care about them ‘playing pretend’. You told him about her insinuation that they had done something inappropriate in her recording studio and how you noted his cagey behavior when you asked him about it later that night.
One of the hardest things to tell him about was your elaborate plan to rub your relationship in her face. You confessed to purposefully getting him all worked up with the lingerie, sexting, and bondage last Sunday and by wearing his clothes, promising to do the photoshoot, and teasing him during the fitting the next day. You admitted that you’d made it obvious to her that you’d not only had sex the night before, but that the two of you were going home during lunch to have sex again. You told him about her chilling response of ‘He’s lying to you’ and how you saw the message from ‘J’ shortly after, but how seeing Jimin’s text convinced you everything was OK.
You told him about all the revelations you’d had this past week and how you planned to tell him everything last night, but that him coming home and acting so strange instantly set you back on edge. You explained how everything had continued to unravel throughout the day as you realized he was lying to you and avoiding you. And, finally, you recounted the awful encounter with her in the elevator which had proven to be your breaking point.
“I know I asked you to tell me, and I’m glad that you did, but it was still really hard to hear all that, '' he said quietly after you finished, the hurt deeply etched onto his face.
You could tell from the way he was nervously biting his lower lip that there was more he wanted to say, but that he was struggling to say it. After trying and failing several times to get the words out, he ultimately just closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against yours.
“You can tell me, Tae,” you gently encouraged him, despite how scared you were to hear the words that were causing him such angst. “Whatever it is, I-I want you to tell me.”
It took him another full minute to gather the courage to speak and when he did his voice was filled with such sadness that your eyes instantly filled with tears.
“I waited for you, Jagi,” he finally said. “I waited for you and then I gave myself to you because I love you with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Knowing that you allowed yourself to believe I was cheating on you makes me feel like you don’t respect that commitment that I made to you,” he then confessed.
“You know how meaningful intimacy is to me,” he went on after a few moments of heartbreaking silence. “It’s a way for me to be close to you and take care of you and show you how much I love you. Whether we’re just kissing or we're making love, it’s always special to me. It’s always something I cherish and never take for granted.”
“I know how awful Jisoo made you feel, and I know how guilty she made me look, but it still just hurts so much that you thought I could ever share that experience with someone else,” he admitted before his voice gave out and the quietest of cries left his lips.
His words cut you to the bone and rendered you absolutely speechless. You knew you had hurt him with your accusation, but the true depth of his sorrow was almost too unbearable to behold. As tears began silently streaming down your face, cold tendrils of self loathing slowly wrapped themselves around your mind. You did this. You caused this pain to the person you loved most in the whole world.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” you went on sadly, knowing your words would never be enough to convey all that you felt. “I’m sorry I believed her and didn’t trust you. I’m sorry I manipulated you to get back at her. I’m sorry I accused you of cheating. I’m sorry I messed up your proposal surprise. I’m sorry I got you in trouble with Big Hit.”
“I’m sorry I ruined everything,” you finally sobbed.
“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin anything,” he said as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek. “I’m upset about what happened because we both got hurt, but I’m not angry at you and I certainly don’t blame you.”
“This was my fault,” he went on, sounding so unbelievably guilty. “I didn’t take care of you. I didn’t keep you safe.”
“I-I let this happen. I let her hurt you, hurt us,” he added as his voice broke.
“I never should have trusted her and put you through this in the first place,” he said regretfully, his own tears falling freely now. “She hurt us over the summer, almost ruined our relationship before it even started, and I still let her back into our lives. You told me that first night that you were afraid to trust her and tried to tell me again two weeks ago, but I didn’t listen.”
“I promised I wouldn’t let her hurt you, but I broke that promise,” he confessed quietly as he rubbed away your tears with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he then whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Baby, you don’t need to apologize,” you replied guiltily, bringing your own hand up to cradle his face. “I’m the problem. You said I was strong, but I’m not. I’m broken.”
“Please don’t say that, sweetheart,” he pleaded as he took your hand in his and kissed your fingertips. “You’re not broken.”
“You were scared and overwhelmed because I put you in an awful situation,” he admitted, his voice thick with shame. “It was thoughtless of me to be keeping secrets and sneaking around while we were in the middle of this mess with Jisoo. Even if she wasn’t manipulating everything I said and did, I should have realized how hurtful it would be for me to act that way and how it might have looked.”
“But, I should have just talked to you,” you replied with a frustrated whimper, more tears now spilling out. “I should have been honest about how I was feeling all along and I should have told you when she began taunting me and I started having doubts.”
As you said those words, you collapsed back into his embrace, your head coming down to rest on his chest just over his heart. For several minutes he didn’t respond, he just held you close while he gently ran his fingers through your hair, periodically pressing little kisses to your forehead.
“Why didn’t you?” he finally asked with such sorrow in his voice that it made your heart ache. “Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you so much?”
It was the million dollar question. One you knew he would ask. One you had asked yourself countless times already over the last few hours. The most obvious answer was rather simple: you were insecure and terrible at communicating your feelings. However, as you thought back to what transpired on the roof, recalled the way Manager Sejin, and even Bang PD to some extent, had reacted to the situation, something finally dawned on you. Although you absolutely were insecure and terrible at communicating, you realized that there was another, far more complicated and rather heartbreaking reason for why you had been holding back all this time.
“Jagi, I can’t read your mind,” he then said sadly, like it was a personal failure that he did not possess this ability. “If we’re going to get married and you’re going to be my wife, you need to be able to tell me things, even things you think will be hard for me to hear.”
You knew he was right and decided it was time to tell him the full truth, even though you knew it was going to absolutely crush him. After spending several minutes in silence, nervously tracing patterns on his chest with your finger, you took a deep breath and then finally spoke.
“I don’t feel equal to you,” you confessed quietly.
“You’re Kim Taehyung, world-famous K-pop idol who is adored and respected by millions and who has all this wealth and influence and power, but I’m just... me,” you went on. “I’m just a lowly stylist that no one knows or cares about who is still paying off college loans and will never be anyone special or do anything significant.”
“You’re so successful and incredible and so many people would kill to be in my shoes that sometimes I feel like I should just be happy and grateful to be with you at all, even if it’s in a way that hurts me,” you admitted.
“And, being forced to hide and lie and keep everything a secret hurt me,” you then added, clutching his shirt tightly as fresh tears pricked at your eyes.
You took a few moments to collect yourself, taking several deep, steadying breaths. He gave you all the time you needed, affectionately rubbing your arm while he patiently waited for you to continue.
“When we came home from America I told you I wanted to tell the truth and leave Big Hit, but you convinced me to stay and keep lying. Then you made the decision to fake date Jisoo without talking to me first and just expected me to be OK with it,” you said next, your voice now beginning to tremble.
“I-I wasn’t OK with it, but I didn't know what to do. I felt trapped, Tae,” you said, pausing briefly to let that sink in and also gather yourself again. “You clearly thought it was a good idea and what was best for us so I just put on a brave face and tried to be strong for you. I didn’t want you to get in trouble. I didn’t want to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to be safe and happy. Even once Jisoo started saying stuff and I realized you were lying to me, I was still just so afraid to confront you because I didn't want to hurt you or make you upset.”
The words were pouring out of you now and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop them, but you didn’t want to stop them. After days and weeks and months of bottling everything up, you were suddenly desperate to let it all out.
“I didn’t tell you my feelings because they felt less important than yours,” you finally said, choking back a sob. “Because I felt less important than you.”
You hadn’t fully understood that this was how you felt until now, but the moment those words left your lips everything came into sharp focus.
“You’re the sun, Tae,” you told him, voice barely above a whisper. “You’re the sun and I am just this tiny, flickering candle.”
“Compared to you I just feel so inferior,” you then revealed as the tears began pouring out again. “Not even in terms of status or talent or wealth, but as a person. Part of it is definitely my own insecurity, but a lot of it is because that’s honestly how society views us. You are literally worth more than me - to Big Hit, to this country, to the world - and that fact has never been more painfully clear to me than tonight when Manager Sejin's first reaction to what happened was to be more concerned about your reputation than my wellbeing.”
“Up on the roof everyone was talking about me and making decisions that directly affected me, but I wasn’t even part of the conversation,” you continued dejectedly, remembering how powerless you felt at the time. “I was legitimately afraid to speak because I didn’t want to make someone upset or get you in trouble. The one time I tried to talk, I was literally told to ‘stay out of it’. I felt like my opinion and my feelings didn’t matter, so I stopped trying to share them and just stayed quiet.”  
“I know I can’t expect you to read my mind, but if we’re going to get married and you’re going to be my husband, you need to understand that because of your job and who you are I often feel like I have no voice,” you finally confessed.
Upon letting all of that out, you felt a massive weight lift off your chest, but the relief you felt was short lived when you saw the look of absolute devastation on Tae’s face. You had done exactly as he asked, told him something you knew would be hard for him to hear, and the result was just as excruciatingly painful as you feared it would be.
“Jagi, it breaks my heart that you feel this way because of me,” he said despondently, his eyes brimming with tears.
“Of course you're important and special. Of course your opinions and feelings matter,” he went on as a few drops began sliding down his cheeks.
“Y-You’re not a candle, sweetheart. You’re not even just the sun. You’re the entire universe,” he cried before he buried his face in your hair.
Every single one of his muffled sobs was like a knife in your heart and every time he said ‘I’m sorry’ the blade twisted. It killed you to know your confession had made him feel so terrible, but you kept reminding yourself that it was for the best. Keeping all that in for so long had only ended up causing more hurt to you both in the long run. The only way for things to get better was to have everything out in the open and move forward with no more secrets.
“Baby, look at me,” you said as you cupped his cheeks and lifted his head up so his gaze met yours. “You’re not the reason I feel like this. I know you don’t view me as less than you and you’ve certainly never treated me that way. Our relationship is just unique and complicated and a bit stressful sometimes. It has been challenging in ways that I wasn’t prepared for and didn’t fully understand until now, but I don’t want you to blame yourself.”
“I just need you to remember that it can be a little overwhelming and intimidating at times being with someone as famous as you,” you then said gently. “I’m going to go back to therapy so I can learn how to better deal with those feelings and also communicate them to you. I just want you to be aware that this is something I struggle with so you can help me work through it, OK?”
“OK,” he hiccupped, nodding his head in your hands. “I can do that.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said then softly, gazing into your eyes with a look of pure devotion. “I meant it this morning when I wrote that I want to be a better man for you. I promise I will be. I’m going to take care of you, Jagi. Now and always. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you or make you feel less than ever again. I’m going to make sure you always feel safe and respected and equal in our relationship.”
“Which is why I’m going to leave BTS,” he then stated without an ounce of hesitation in his voice.
For the second time that evening, time came to a screeching halt.
“What?” you breathed out, utterly shocked by that statement and convinced you had somehow heard him wrong.
“I’m going to leave BTS,” he repeated calmly, looking you in the eye as he spoke.
You stared back at him in stunned silence for several seconds, your eyes wide in disbelief upon realizing he had, in fact, said those words.
“Tae, no,” you protested. “Y-You can’t leave because of me, because I’m insecure and broken. I just need to get better. I need to be a better partner for you. And, I-I will be. I’m going to get help and work on myself so I can handle everything. You’re not the problem. BTS isn’t the problem. I’m the problem, but I promise I’m going to be better.”
“Sweetheart, you’re not broken and you’re not the problem,” he said, his tone unmistakably sad. “Please don’t say those things about yourself. It hurts me when you do.”
“I’m not leaving because of you, I’m leaving for you, for us,” he then added.
Your mind was absolutely spinning as you tried to comprehend what he was saying. Never in a million years did you think you would be having this conversation with him right now. This was not at all the outcome you were expecting or hoping for when you shared your feelings with him and you found yourself now regretting having said anything at all. You had clearly overwhelmed him by unloading all of that while he was already feeling stressed and guilty which was causing him to have these highly irrational thoughts.
“But, you’re…you’re still under contract for five more years,” you said back as the realization dawned on you. “You can’t just leave.”
“Actually, I can,” he replied, sounding almost nonchalant despite the gravity of his words. “I would have to pay a really big fine and give up my Big Hit stock, but I could afford it and it would be worth it.”
His calmness only made you all the more anxious. He was talking complete nonsense right now and didn’t even realize it.
“Tae, you’re upset right now and not thinking straight,” you said, trying desperately to reason with him. “It’s been an incredibly stressful night and you’ve been through so much. I know you feel guilty about what I said and are worried about what’s going to happen once I leave Big Hit, but you leaving too isn’t the answer.”
“Jagi, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, long before all of this happened,” he revealed, his voice soft but resolute.
“You know I almost didn’t re-sign in 2018 and that I was struggling again earlier this year,” he then reminded you gently. “Everything that’s happened over the last few months, and everything you just told me now, has only reinforced the way I was already feeling.”
Upon hearing him say those words, you stopped panicking and looked at him, really looked at him, and couldn’t help but notice just how composed and confident he seemed right now.
“How have you been feeling?” you asked quietly.
“Like I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he replied, suddenly sounding so very tired.
“I never wanted all this,” he then admitted. “I was literally going to be a farmer, which I was perfectly OK with, but then I auditioned at Big Hit essentially by accident and somehow got chosen and now here I am almost ten years later with this crazy life as a world-famous K-pop idol.”
“I don’t regret it,” he quickly added. “I love the guys and ARMY and I genuinely enjoy making music and performing. I’m grateful for our success and all the incredible opportunities I’ve been given and the fact that I can now take care of my family. And, most importantly, I’m grateful that I met you.”
The shy smile that crept onto his face as he said that last bit had your heart absolutely melting. As alarming as this conversation was, you couldn’t help but give him a bashful grin in return.
“I know things have been difficult for us at times, but the last two months have still been the happiest of my entire life. Being with you makes me feel so fulfilled and so excited and hopeful for the future. I can’t wait to marry you, my best friend and the love of my life, and raise a family together,” he confessed with such passion in his voice. “That’s what I’ve always wanted.”
“But, that’s why I need to leave,” he then said softly as his expression grew sad.
“I love BTS, but I love you more,” he admitted, gazing deeply into your eyes. “I don’t want to spend the next five years being on different schedules and hardly seeing each other, only for me to then go into the military and be away from you for another year and a half. How are we supposed to have a strong marriage and a happy family if that’s our life? How am I supposed to be a good husband and father if I’m never there?”
“I know we’ll never have a completely normal life because I’ll probably always be a public figure, but if I left BTS things would be so much easier for us,” he went on, sounding so serious and certain. “I could start acting. I’ve already gotten so many offers to be on shows and in movies. I could start working at a studio right here in Seoul. That way I wouldn’t have to travel all the time and be away from you. We could start our family right away and raise our children together as equal parents instead of you bearing so much more of the burden. I’d be there to support you and make sure you could continue pursuing your own career goals. We’d have more time to visit our parents and go on trips and do things together as a family.”
“It would be so much easier,” he repeated earnestly. “We could be so much happier.”
As terrified as you were hearing him talk like this and knowing the chaos that would ensue if he actually were to leave BTS, you could not deny how tempting all of that sounded. A life where you could actually be together the majority of the time would be so wonderful. One where there was stability and consistency, where he wouldn’t have to regularly leave for days and weeks and months on end. You believed with all your heart that Tae would be a great husband and father even if he stayed with BTS, but you knew he was right when he said things would be easier if he left.
And yet, you knew you needed to be the rational one right now. Although you believed him when he said he had been thinking about this for a while and that this wasn’t just a knee-jerk reaction, you knew that what had happened tonight and what you’d been through over the last few months was coloring his perspective. Keeping your relationship a secret had been a complicated and stressful situation, but it wasn’t indicative of what life was going to be like for you two going forward. Being apart so much would make things harder, especially once you started having kids, but not having to hide anymore would also make things easier. You were certain you two could make it work and that everything would be OK. You just needed to help Tae calm down long enough to realize this too.
“Tae, it means more to me than I can put into words that you would be willing to make a sacrifice like that for us,” you said as you leaned in and gave him a short, sweet kiss. “I can tell you have given this a lot of thought, and I admit you do make a lot of great points, but I don’t think now is the right time to make this kind of decision.”
“First things first, we need to get through everything with Jisoo. Then at some point I obviously need to meet with Bang PD and Big Hit HR. Hopefully they’ll just let me resign and not actually fire me. I think Mrs. Choi might still be willing to be a reference for me so that will help immensely in my search for a new job,” you continued.
“Can we please just wait before we make any big decisions?” you asked gently, giving him an encouraging smile. “I don’t want you to do something now that you’ll later regret. There’s no reason to rush. Let’s take our time and adjust to our new situation and see how things go.”
For several moments he didn’t respond, he just stared at you with an intent, slightly skeptical look as if searching for any hint of reluctance on your face. You just gazed back at him pleadingly, silently begging him to trust that this was truly how you felt, until eventually his features softened.
“Ok,” he finally conceded with a sigh. “We can wait and see.”
“But, if it’s not working, if we’re not happy and we feel like we’re drifting apart or you don’t feel supported and I feel like I’m missing out on things, I won’t hesitate to leave,” he then added sincerely. “You are the most precious thing in the world to me, sweetheart. I can always find another job, but I can never find another you.”
Grateful that he seemed to have backed away from the metaphorical edge, you were just about to breathe a small sigh of relief when the door to your room suddenly opened. You tensed up immediately because Tae didn’t have his mask or glasses on, but relaxed once you realized it was only Mrs. Choi.
“Sorry to disturb you, but Manager Sejin says there is a call for you, Taehyung,” she said softly as she tentatively poked her head into the room. “I believe it is Bang PD.”
“Shoot, I need to take this,” Tae said to you regretfully as he disentangled himself and stood up from the bed.
“I’ll be back soon, Jagi,” he then said before leaning down and kissing your forehead.
“Ok,” you said back with a shy smile.
He disguised himself once more and then walked out of the room, giving Mrs. Choi a quick nod as he passed by her. After he was gone, she lingered by the door for a few moments, seemingly wrestling with herself over something. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she finally spoke.
“You two make a lovely couple,” she said tenderly.
“Thank you,” you replied back, your voice catching a bit as you got ever-so-slightly choked up.
“For everything,” you then added after a moment.
“You’re welcome, dear,” she said back, giving you a genuine smile before excusing herself.
Once the door was closed, you laid back down, plopped your head onto the pillow, and gazed up at the ceiling in bewilderment. Of all the surprises tonight had brought, including your secret being revealed and Tae confessing he was both planning to propose and seriously considering leaving BTS, Mrs. Choi being supportive of your relationship might just be the most earth shattering. It was strange, but her approval actually meant a great deal to you. Over the last three years, she had probably spent more time together with you and Tae than anyone else. Her belief that you made a good couple was quite comforting and gave you so much confidence that everything would be OK.
And right now, after everything that you’d both been through and were still facing, you needed all the assurance you could get that you and Tae were going to be OK.
Five minutes later the door to your room opened again. You assumed it was Tae, back from his call with bang PD, but it was actually your doctor. As she walked in she was sporting another warm smile, but something about her was noticeably off.
“Y/N, how are you feeling?” she asked.
“I feel fine,” you answered honestly. “Not dizzy or nauseous or anything like that.”
“Good, good,” she replied easily as she made a few notes in your chart.
“So, your ECG results came back normal, but we’re going to keep you here a little longer for observation since you are a high-risk patient,” she then informed you.
“High-risk?” you questioned nervously, giving her a confused look. “What classifies me as high-risk?”
An apprehensive, slightly sheepish look flashed across her face before she uttered the absolute last words you were expecting to hear.
“That fact that you’re pregnant.”
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp @roguesthetic @ dreadity @belladaises @bangtannoonalvg
116 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 50 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 4.0k
warnings: none
A/N: Sorry for the delay on this one! It was my husband’s 30th birthday last week and I was a little swamped getting ready to have family over to celebrate :)
Chapter 50: I Promise
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
“Y/N. Can you hear me? Sweetheart, please wake up. Please come back to me…”
The words were faint at first, softer than a whisper, but they grew louder and louder until eventually you heard them clear as day and recognized the voice that was speaking. It was his voice, your favorite voice in the whole world, the one that whispered the sweetest nothings, sang the most beautiful songs, and spoke the most loving words.
“Tae?” you mumbled out, curling your fingers around the hand you hoped was his.
“She’s finally awake...yes, I will…OK, thank you,” you heard him quickly say to someone.
“I’m here, Jagi,” he then said tenderly as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m here.”
Slowly opening your eyes, you found him kneeling over you, worry written all over his tear-stained face. When you glanced over his shoulder and saw the night sky, you realized you were laying on the ground. The next thing you noticed was that your feet were propped up underneath your bag and his jacket was draped over you. Confusion settled in as you tried to remember how you ended up in this position but couldn’t come up with any sort of explanation.
“Sweetheart, you fainted,” he told you, reading your bewildered expression. “You were unconscious for over a minute.”
“I kept calling your name, but you wouldn’t wake up,” he went on, looking at you with wide, terrified eyes.
“I-I’ve never been more scared in my entire life,” he then added, his voice breaking as he leaned down and kissed your forehead.
He kept his lips there for several seconds and when he pulled back to look at you his eyes were glistening. His grip on your hand tightened a bit as he looked away momentarily, taking a deep breath as if to collect himself. Even in your hazy state you could tell that he was shaken by what had happened and trying to be strong for you. The fear and helplessness he must have felt was something you could fully empathize with; you had watched him collapse backstage once after a particularly grueling string of performances and had nearly had a heart attack because you were so worried. Wanting to comfort him with a hug, you began trying to sit up, but he immediately stopped you.
“Don’t get up, Jagi,” he said, his voice laden with concern as he urged your shoulders back down. “It’s not safe yet.”
“You need to keep laying down,” he continued more softly as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you get up now you could get dizzy again.”
“I called 911 and they sent an ambulance,” he then told you hesitantly. “I just want you to rest until they get here, OK?”
“A-Ambulance?” you questioned nervously, a wave of anxiety coursing through you upon realizing where an ambulance would take you. “No, no, no.”
“I-I don’t want to go to the emergency room,” you said, panic rising in your voice as you shook your head and withdrew from him. “Call them back and tell them not to come.”
It was no secret to Tae that you were afraid of hospitals. After practically living in one all those months when your mom was sick and slowly fading away, you had developed a serious aversion to them. You were OK going to regular doctor’s appointments at outpatient clinics, but going to the hospital itself was a whole different story. Just seeing one on television or in a movie always brought you right back to those dark days, ones where all you ever got was bad news and all you ever felt was hopelessness. The idea of stepping foot in one had you filled with absolute dread, especially if you were going to be the patient.
“Jagi, you were unconscious for a long time,” he said worriedly as he caressed your hand to try and soothe your nerves. “You have to be seen by a doctor to make sure you’re OK.”
In the back of your mind you knew he was right. Usually when someone fainted they woke up after only a few seconds. Being out for more than a minute was definitely a red flag, one that didn’t necessarily mean anything was seriously wrong, but which indicated medical attention was recommended. Still, the idea of going to the emergency room, and being taken in an ambulance, no less, was absolutely terrifying.
What was most frightening, though, was the idea of being taken in an ambulance from Big Hit, the place around which all your lies and secrets revolved. Ambulances weren’t discreet. They didn’t arrive quietly and sneakily whisk you away. They showed up with loud sirens and flashing lights. They made a scene, one which everyone in the building, and anyone outside the building, for that matter, would be drawn to.
“B-But if an ambulance comes here p-people will see and then they’ll ask q-questions about us and why we’re up here together and why I fainted and…,” you stammered out before an awful realization suddenly hit you and your voice trailed off.
Your fight with Tae is why you fainted
Memories from before you fainted came flooding back to you like a torrential acid rain, seeping into every crevice of your mind and scorching your every thought. All the terrible things you said when you accused him of cheating. How completely devastated he looked afterwards. The truth about his grandmother's ring and his plan to propose. Jisoo’s betrayal and how you walked right into her trap. It was all such a mess, one you now couldn’t help but feel responsible for. Once again you had let your insecurities get the best of you, but this time you feared the damage you’d caused was simply beyond repair.
“Oh god, our fight,” you whispered as the guilt welled up inside you and your eyes filled with tears.
Reliving this awful moment, the one where you realized you made the biggest mistake of your life, was the cruelest form of torture. You felt like you had woken up from a bad dream only to discover that reality itself was the true nightmare. It made complete sense now why your body had simply given out when you finally learned the truth; the weight of this revelation was absolutely crushing. As the tears started pouring out, you felt your chest tightening and your throat closing. You were on the verge of losing it entirely when Tae reached out to you.
“Sweetheart, please don’t cry,” he pleaded, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to be alright. I promise we’ll talk about everything and figure it all out soon, but right now I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?”
Closing your eyes and focusing on just the feel of his warm hands cradling your face, you felt yourself slowly coming back from the edge.
“The only thing that matters right now is that you’re OK,”  he then said softly as he brushed away your tears with his thumbs.
“I know you’re nervous about the ambulance coming here and taking you to the hospital, but I’m going to be with you the whole time,” he assured you. “No matter what happens.”
“Y-You promise?” you asked between shuddered breaths.
“I promise,” he replied earnestly.
“Now let’s just rest until they get here, OK?” he then said as he laid down on his side next to you. “Can you come lay down with me?”
“OK,” you hiccupped.
You laid your head back down and closed your eyes. The ground was hard and cold, rather uncomfortable, but you tried your best to relax, taking slow, deep breaths of the crisp night air. While you were laying there, Tae began gently running his fingers through your hair and softly singing ‘Sweet Night’, two things he often did when you were feeling overwhelmed. In his touch and the sound of his voice you found comfort and by the time he finished the song you had finally started to calm down. For the first time since you woke up in a terrified daze, you felt like everything was going to be OK, but then the elevator suddenly opened up behind you.
In the blink of an eye, the safe, peaceful atmosphere Tae had created for you was shattered as the roof filled with people: two paramedics, Bang PD, Manager Sejin, Mrs. Choi, and a couple other administrative staff members. Tae pulled his hands away from you the moment he heard the doors open and scrambled to button up his shirt while getting to his feet, but it was clear from everyone’s curious expressions that they had seen him in that compromising position beside you.
The next thing you knew, you were being hoisted up onto a gurney. The jarring movement brought another wave of lightheadedness as well as some nausea and for a few moments you just laid there, eyes tightly screwed shut as you tried to get it together. The fact that everyone then started talking all at once only made things worse, but the paramedics quickly quieted everyone and began tending to you.
As they took your vitals, they asked you a flurry of questions about what happened, how you were feeling, your medical history, and so much more. It was incredibly overwhelming and you were grateful Tae was there helping you answer their questions since your memory was still fuzzy. It briefly registered with you that he probably shouldn’t be revealing that he knew things like the medications you took, but everything was happening so fast that you didn’t have time to warn him.
“Can you please explain to me again what happened,” one of the paramedics asked, directing the question to Tae.
“Y/N was sitting up here for a long time because she was upset about something. I don’t know how long, but I think at least a couple hours which means she didn’t have dinner. I went looking for her and when I found her we had an argument and she got really upset and afterwards she fainted,” he explained nervously.
“I caught her before she fell, laid her down and elevated her feet like you’re supposed to, and then called 911. They had me check her pulse and breathing which seemed normal, but when she still wasn’t awake after a minute they sent the ambulance. She finally woke up soon after that, but she was really confused at first and didn’t remember what happened,” he continued.
“Was this argument physical in any way?” the paramedic then asked, now looking at you.
His insinuation that Tae might have purposefully done something to hurt you made your insides churn. It simply couldn’t be further from the truth. He had spent all night looking out for you and taking care of you.
“No, of course not,” you said immediately.
“Tae would never hurt me,” you then added, your voice catching as tears pricked at your eyes.
Instinctively, Tae reached down and took your hand, carefully interlacing his fingers with yours. You knew he shouldn’t have done it with all these people around, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. In that moment, it was infinitely more important that he knew you trusted him wholeheartedly and didn’t blame him for what happened.
The whole time you were talking with the paramedics, Bang PD and Manager Sejin were anxiously waiting in the background, talking heatedly amongst themselves. You saw Bang PD receive several phone calls and each one seemed to make him more flustered than the last. The moment they heard the paramedic ask if the argument was physical, though, they rushed over.
“I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t mean to make you upset,” the paramedic then said gently. “We just have to ask in a situation like this.”
“It sounds like it was a simple faint triggered by a combination of low blood sugar and emotional distress,” he went on after a few moments. “You’re probably fine, but since you were unconscious for so long we need to take you to the hospital to rule out anything more serious.”
“O-OK,” you replied weakly.
“We’ll be leaving soon. I just need to speak with my partner first,” the paramedic then said before he turned and walked away.
You knew a trip to the emergency room was likely unavoidable, but having it confirmed still sent a wave of panic washing over you. Were it not for Tae gently rubbing your thumb with his to remind you that you weren’t alone and it was going to be alright, you might have started hyperventilating again. Looking up at him, you were met with the sight of an encouraging smile, but the comfort it brought you was unfortunately short-lived.
“Taehyung, what were you thinking?” Manager Sejin demanded the moment the paramedic was out of earshot.
“You had an altercation with a female staff member that has resulted in her needing to be hospitalized. Your 911 call was surely recorded and could get leaked. These paramedics have also seen you and know everything. A crowd has already gathered outside the building because of the ambulance. The press won’t stop calling and asking what’s happened and who’s hurt,” he added angrily. “Do you have any idea how all of this looks?”
Manager Sejin was usually very kind and soft-spoken so seeing him so upset was rather alarming. The last time you had seen him like this was the evening of The Late Late Show interview when Tae had slipped up and said ‘Jagi’ on live television. It had devastated Tae to know that someone he looked up to and respected so much had been so disappointed in him and one glance at his crestfallen expression told you he was once again feeling that shame.
“Tae didn’t do anything wrong,” you interjected hesitantly, trying to smooth things over. “It was an accident and he was only trying to help.”
“Y/N, please just stay out of this,” Manager Sejin replied curtly. “You’ve done enough already.”
Upon hearing those sharp words, you stiffened. You knew having an ambulance come here was going to create drama, but you were definitely not expecting this level of hostility. All at once, your hope that everything was going to be alright began to crumble.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Tae said back, his words coming out surprisingly harsh, especially given he was talking to one of his elders. “None of this was her fault.”
By now Mrs. Choi had made her way over to the group. Standing beside the gurney you were laying on, she placed her hand on your shoulder in a way that felt somewhat protective.
“If she wasn’t up here in the first place none of this would have happened,” Manager Sejin argued as he peered down at you disdainfully.
“But, you should have contacted one of us before you called 911,” he then continued, looking back at Tae. “That way we could have handled this situation discreetly.”
“Please tell me you are not suggesting that the reputation of BTS is more important than the health of one of your employees,” Mrs. Choi suddenly said, her tone icy as she glared at the older man.
“Enough,” Bang PD hissed before anyone could say anything further. “We’re not having this conversation here.”
“Taehyung, go downstairs and wait for us in my office,” he then added sternly. “Once the ambulance leaves we can discuss what to say to the press and how to minimize your involvement in this situation.”
“No,” Tae immediately said. “I’m going to the hospital with Y/N.”
“Absolutely not,” Bang PD replied, his tone severe and unyielding. “This is already enough of a fiasco. If you go to the hospital someone will surely recognize you. It would be a PR nightmare, not to mention a huge security threat.”
“I’ll wear a mask and a hat and sunglasses,” Tae quickly offered. “I promise I’ll keep a low profile.”
“Taehyung,” the older man protested, clearly growing frustrated.
“Tae, it’s OK,” you murmured.
“No, it’s not OK,” he said quietly, looking down at you with a worried expression. “You’re hurt and it’s my fault and I have to be there to take care of you.”
Your heart simultaneously swelled and dropped at his words. The truth was you did want him there, needed him there, honestly, but the situation was quickly getting out of hand. The more he pushed to come with you, the worse everything would get. You gazed back at him with wide, searching eyes, silently begging him to back down, but he didn’t.
“I’m not letting her go to the hospital by herself,” Tae then said more forcefully as he turned back towards the group. “Being there makes her anxious because of everything that happened with her mom.”
“She won’t be by herself,” Mrs. Choi said, giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “I’ll ride with her to the hospital.”
As much as you wanted Tae to be the one coming with you, you found yourself feeling genuinely comforted by the thought of Mrs. Choi accompanying you. That day you met with her in her office you had actually told her more than you initially intended to about your mom, more than you had even told many of your close friends. It had felt surprisingly natural to open up to her like that. She didn’t know everything that you went through, but she knew enough to understand that your apprehension about going to the hospital was very real.
“See? She won’t be alone,” Bang PD placated, jumping at the opportunity to hopefully end this once and for all. “And, I’m sure Mrs. Choi will keep you updated on how she’s doing.”
“You don’t understand,” Tae said, running his hair through his hair in frustration. “I have to be there. I promised I would be there.”
“Tae,” you breathed out as you tightly gripped his hand.
He had already been acting dangerously affectionate and protective, but right now he was being entirely too obvious. Any second now someone was going to start putting two and two together and you would both be screwed. Although you were planning to leave Big Hit soon and reveal your relationship, these were not the circumstances under which you envisioned doing so.
Honestly, you were going to suggest to Tae that the two of you wait until a couple months after you resigned to announce you had started dating. Sure, people might make assumptions that you had gotten together before you left, but at least then it would be too late for either of you to be disciplined. By that time you would also be settled into a new job and wouldn’t have to worry about a black mark on your record hindering your career.
“Taehyung, please be reasonable,” Bang PD implored, his patience beginning to grow thin. “It is not practical for you to go with her, nor is it appropriate. They’ll be running all sorts of tests and she’ll need privacy.”
“We’ll call her emergency contact and have them meet her there,” Manager Sejin then added, his tone ever so slightly biting. “They can take care of her.”
The undertone of hostility in those remarks did not go unnoticed by Tae and ultimately proved to be his undoing.
“Her emergency contact is me,” Tae shot back furiously, his composure finally snapping. “I’m the one who is supposed to take care of her and make sure she’s safe and healthy and happy.”
“I already failed her once,” he then admitted, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. “I let her get hurt. I let this happen. I-I have to make it right now.”
“I have to go with her to the hospital,” he declared. “I have to hold her hand when they draw her blood because she doesn't like needles. I have to help her explain her family medical history because it’s hard for her to talk about her mom without getting really upset. I’ll have to force her to eat the hospital food because she needs to regain her strength, but she’s such a picky eater. I’ll have to ask the nurse for an extra blanket because she’ll definitely get cold, but will be too shy to tell anyone. I’ll have to call her sister and tell her what happened because Y/N never wants anyone to worry and always tries to take care of herself without asking for help. I have to be there for her and make sure she’s OK because I would never forgive myself if anything ever happened to her.”
“So either you let me ride in that ambulance or I drive myself to the hospital, because I’m not breaking my promise to be there with her,” he then all but shouted.
For a few moments no one spoke as the weight of Tae’s outburst slowly sunk in. He might not have outright said it, but he had clearly said more than enough for them to put the pieces together. With bated breath, you watched as everyone’s eyes flickered back and forth between you and Tae and then down at your joined hands. Slowly but surely, you saw the realization dawn on each one of them.
“You’re not dating Jisoo,” Bang PD simply stated after what felt like an eternity.
“You’re pretending to date her,” he went on, his voice surprisingly even, “to hide your relationship with Y/N.”
Tae didn’t respond, but the guilty expression he wore was more than enough to let Bang PD and everyone else know that his assertions were correct. The two administrative staff members who had been listening in on the conversation let out audible gasps. Manager Sejin muttered something under his breath as he shook his head in disbelief. Mrs. Choi said nothing, but you felt her grip on your shoulder tighten ever-so-slightly. Bang PD just stared at Tae, an unreadable expression spread across his face. He didn’t look angry nor did he look all that surprised. Honestly, it was almost as if he looked a little relieved.
You laid there in stunned silence, still barely breathing as you clutched Tae’s hand like it was the only thing keeping you from floating away. After a few moments, when the initial shock finally began to wear off, you found a strange sense of calm settling over you. The truth was finally out. There would be consequences for sure, and you would obviously have to deal with them at some point, but right now the emotion you felt most strongly was relief: the crushing weight of all those secrets had finally been lifted. And, of all the ways for your big secret to ultimately be revealed, you supposed having Tae give an adorably flustered speech about all the ways he would take care of you was a pretty good one.
“You’re not going in the ambulance and you’re not driving yourself,” Bang PD finally said to break the silence.
“You will be taken by a company driver and will also be accompanied by Manager Sejin,” he then added after a moment of suspense.
“You will be dropped off at the back entrance of the hospital and then discreetly escorted to the private and secluded examination room Miss Y/L/N will be residing in,” he went on authoritatively, now speaking to the paramedic who had rejoined the group at some point amidst the chaos.
“Absolutely sir,” the paramedic replied. “I will call the hospital now and make arrangements.”
“Taehyung, if you would please now go to my office it would be greatly appreciated,” Bang PD then said calmly. “There are some things I’d like to discuss with you before you leave.”
“Yes sir,” Tae said respectfully, his expression of absolute astonishment mirroring your own.
Just before he turned to leave, he bent down, placed the tiniest kiss on your cheek, and then whispered in your ear, “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp @roguesthetic @ dreadity @belladaises
121 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 48 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 7.0k
warnings: none
A/N: I am so sorry 💔
Chapter 48: Lying To Yourself - Part 3
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
You woke the following morning to an empty bed.
It was unusual for Tae to wake up before you because he was such a late and heavy sleeper and even more unusual for him to then leave the bed entirely. Usually when he woke up first he would gently rouse you with a series of feather-light kisses placed all over your face: your forehead, the tip of your nose, the apple of your cheek, your lips themselves. It was by far the best way to be woken up and oftentimes you would pretend to still be asleep just so he would keep spoiling you with kisses. Eventually, though, you would be unable to contain your smile any longer at which point he’d realize you were awake and say ‘Good morning, beautiful’.
Sadly, this morning you received no such sweet and tender awakening. Instead, you woke to the jarring blast of sound that was your alarm. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you’d needed your alarm to wake up on time. Given that you were a true morning person, you typically woke up naturally hours before it even went off. Last night you’d gotten to bed rather late, though, and had then struggled to fall asleep. It wasn’t surprising that you slept so long and were still feeling exhausted.
As memories from last night began trickling back in, you felt that heavy blanket of unease once again envelope you. It had been a strange night, one that was perhaps as stressful as you imagined it would be, but for reasons you never would have predicted when you woke up yesterday. Although Tae had apologized for his behavior, and had assured you it had nothing to do with you, the night had still ended on a disquieting note. Him not being here when you woke up had you picking up right where you left off: in a state of confusion and worry.
Trying your best to remain calm, you turned over to grab your phone off the nightstand only to be met with a surprising sight: Tanju, propped up by a small vase filled with purple flowers, accompanied by a folded paper heart laid at his feet. You recognized the beautiful blossoms immediately; they were azaleas, the exact same shade as the ones that grew in the small indoor garden located in the apartment complex’s main lobby. A tiny smile crept onto your face as you picked up the paper heart and unfolded it to reveal a note written in a small, neat, familiar script.
Jagi,
I had to head out early today so I could talk to Jimin before the shoot starts. I wanted to let you sleep a little longer since I kept you up so late last night. You also just looked so pretty and peaceful while sleeping that I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.
I am so sorry for the way I acted when I got home last night. It was wrong of me to take my frustration out on you like that. I am ashamed to have hurt you and made you sad. I’m supposed to keep you safe and happy, but I did the complete opposite.
I promise I will work to become a better man for you, sweetheart. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you. I love you so much.
~ Tae
P.S. Tanju picked these flowers for you because they are beautiful just like you. I told him that the maintenance staff wasn’t going to be too happy with him, but he claims no one saw him do it.
By the time you were done reading, your tiny smile had morphed into a big, dopey grin. Tae must have picked the flowers after taking Tannie out for a walk earlier that morning. You could just picture him furtively glancing around the lobby before reaching into the garden to pluck out a couple and then casually walking away with them hidden under his jacket. It was such a silly, Tae-like thing to do, but it was an incredibly sweet gesture nonetheless.
The fact that he took the time to write out a sincere apology meant a lot to you. As you read through it once more, you felt the residual hurt and anxiety from last night fading away. Couples fight. People get upset and say and do things they don’t mean. It happens. There had certainly been more than a few times over the last two months where you’d snapped at Tae, whether because you were tired or hungry or just randomly in a bad mood.
You realized that the unique circumstances of the evening were making it seem worse than it really was. The truth was you were already on edge when he got home because you were planning to tell him your big news. The fact that he was off working on something that you didn’t fully understand yet also didn’t help. If it had been any other night and he came home in a bit of a surly mood, it wouldn’t have bothered you nearly as much. It was just bad timing.
Your fight aside, there was still the question of why Tae wore a shirt to bed. You had contemplated numerous possible reasons for this before sleep finally took you. They ranged from the completely innocent - he forgot to take it off - to the somewhat outlandish - he got a secret tattoo or piercing - all the way to the highly disconcerting - he was concealing injuries on his body from some kind of accident or physical altercation.
You had fallen asleep before you could settle on which seemed most plausible, but now that you were awake the most likely reason seemed fairly obvious: because it was unusually cold in the apartment at the moment. While you didn’t specifically remember it being cold last night, you didn’t remember it being warm either. You had also been drinking and had spent all night wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. Maybe the apartment was this cold last night and Tae decided to keep his shirt on to stay warm?
Whatever the reason for his unusual choice of sleepwear, you would find out about it when you and him finally talked which, you just realized, wasn’t going to be this morning. In all honesty, even if he was here right now you’re not sure you would even try to have the talk. There was just too much to say, too many bad feelings that needed to be worked through, and not enough time. There’s also no way either of you could have that conversation and then spend all day surrounded by tons of people trying to act totally normal.
It will just have to wait until tonight.
As you got up and began getting ready for the day, you realized that it was probably for the best that Tae was going to talk to Jimin right now. They might not have actually hung out last night, but Jimin did know what Tae was working on and would hopefully be able to help calm him down. You hated seeing him so upset, but until you two talked about everything there unfortunately wasn’t really anything you could do to help.
A half hour and several cups of coffee later, you were in the elevator heading down to the parking garage when you remembered you hadn’t texted Tae yet that morning. Not wanting him to think you missed his gifts or worse, saw them but didn’t care, you quickly pulled out your phone and sent him a message.
[8:34 AM] Thank you for the note and the flowers.
[8:34 AM] They were both beautiful.
[Taehyung 8:35 AM] You are beautiful.
[Taehyung 8:35 AM] And I love you.
[Taehyung 8:35 AM] And I’m sorry again.
[8:36 AM] I love you too.
[8:36 AM] And I forgive you.
[8:37 AM] Were you able to work things out with Jimin?
[Taehyung 8:38 AM] Yea we had a good talk this morning.
[8:38 AM] Good I’m glad 😊
[8:39 AM] But hey I just got into the car.
[Taehyung 8:39 AM] OK I’ll let you go.
[Taehyung 8:39 AM] No texting while driving!
[Taehyung 8:39 AM] And be sure to wear your seatbelt.
[Taehyung 8:40 AM] I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.
[8:40 AM] 💜
Smiling to yourself at his unnecessary, but adorable protectiveness, you put down your phone and put on your seatbelt like you were told and headed off towards Big Hit.
Twenty minutes later you were walking into the studio, feeling infinitely better than you had when you first woke up. You had spent the drive listening to a playlist Tae made for you which mostly consisted of sappy love songs. Several of them were ones he actually shared with ARMY during his TaeTae FM Vlives earlier in the year. At the time it broke your heart to hear him play those songs and realize he was obviously in love with someone, but little did you know that someone was you.
“Good morning, Y/N,” Mrs. Choi said with a warm smile as you set your bag down.
“Hi, Mrs. Choi,” you replied, returning the gesture. “How are you today?”
“Stressed,” she said with a laugh. “There’s just so many moving pieces when we do this shoot.”
“Yea, coordinating all the different groups and individuals is no small feat,” you agreed as you looked around the busy room.
“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” you then added.
“There actually is something I wanted to ask you about,” she quickly replied.
You looked over at her with a curious expression as you waited for her to continue.
“One of the TXT stylists unfortunately isn't going to be able to make it here today,” she revealed. “They’ve suddenly fallen quite ill.”
“Another one of their stylists is also currently out on maternity leave,” she continued. “Their manager has been filling in for the last few weeks, but with a second stylist now out they are in a bit of a bind.”
“Would you be willing to transfer over there for today to help them out?” she asked tentatively.
“I would fill in for you here and work with Taehyung,” she then added.
If Mrs. Choi had asked you this a few months ago, you would have been absolutely convinced she was simply trying to get you out of her studio and out of her hair. However, as she stood there before you sporting a hesitant smile, you were certain that was not at all the case. Her asking you to join their team for the day was actually sort of flattering. It meant she was confident in your abilities and trusted you to represent the BTS team well. As much as you wanted to spend the day with Tae, you wanted to prove to her that you were worthy of her trust and confidence.
“I would be happy to help them out,” you replied honestly. “I’ll pack up my things now and head over there in a few minutes.”
“Thank you so much, Y/N,” she said brightly. “I know you will make me proud.”
The strange truth was that over the past month you and Mrs. Choi had grown significantly closer. Since that Friday when you almost had a panic attack during your conversation with Eunji and Donghae, she had been going out of her way to talk to you and check in with you to make sure you were doing alright. Her kindness and support had actually come to mean a great deal to you given how lonely and anxious you often felt at work these days.
She hadn’t specifically said anything, but you knew that she noticed the shift in your relationship with Tae. After years of scolding the two of you for being too loud and rowdy, the fact that you no longer talked much or joked around was surely obvious to her. You were also pretty sure she had correctly surmised that this was because Tae and Jisoo were now ‘together’.
She clearly did not like Jisoo; her vitriol for the young woman was stronger than it had been for you even at the worst of times. On more than one occasion she had come over and told Jisoo to stop disrupting everyone in her studio. One time she even straight up asked Jisoo to leave. Tae had also evidently fallen out of her good graces, no doubt because of who he now associated himself with. You felt guilty knowing her disappointment in Tae was misplaced, but you hoped she would come around once he ended his ‘relationship’ with Jisoo.
While you were loading up your carrying case with brushes and makeup pallets and anything else you thought you might need for the day, Tae suddenly walked into the room. For half a second he looked a little surprised to see you, but then his face broke out into a big, boxy smile. It instantly faltered, though, once he saw what you were doing.
“Why are you packing up?” he asked, giving you a curious and slightly concerned look.
“TXT is a little short-staffed today so I’m actually going to be working on their team for the shoot,” you said apologetically, hating the way his face fell as you spoke.
“You’re leaving me?” he said, giving you the most adorable pout you’d ever seen.
“Just for today,” you assured him. “I’ll be back on Monday.”
“But, why do you have to go?” he whined as he continued jutting out his lower lip. “Why can’t someone else go?”
“Because Mrs. Choi asked nicely and I wanted to help,” you replied in a hushed tone. “She likes me now, you know, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“So enough with the pouting,” you then scolded gently. “It’s just one photoshoot.”
“Still, I don’t like it,” he huffed out under his breath.
“They’re going to think you’re cute and fun and fall in love with you instantly and want to keep you,” he then said worriedly, keeping his voice down so no one else could hear.
“You make me sound like a lost puppy that was found on the street,” you said with a laugh.
Realizing that was exactly how he just described the situation, a silly grin replaced his pout and he started to laugh too.
“Ok, fine. You can abandon me for the day,” he then said with an exaggerated sigh. “I swear I won’t hold it against you for the rest of your life.”
“Just promise me you’ll come back, Jagi,” he then said softly, ironically giving you his puppy dog eyes.
“I promise,” you said back with a shy smile.
~~~
The TXT studio was on the same floor, but at the opposite end of the hallway. It was a little smaller than BTS’s, which made sense given that their group was smaller, but otherwise looked remarkably similar. You had been there a handful of times over the years, mostly to drop off something Mrs. Choi asked you to bring to their stylist’s manager, Baekhyun. Having mingled at enough company-wide functions, you were fairly well acquainted with him and the group’s stylists. They were all very friendly, but you were still a tad nervous to be joining their team on such short notice and for an event as big as this.
However, as soon as you stepped foot in the room your worries melted away. You were met with an incredibly warm welcome from both the staff as well as the members who all thanked you for coming to help out. After briefly meeting with Baekhyun, he brought you over to Beomgyu, the member who you would be working with for the day. You had met the young man on numerous occasions, but he was still adorably shy when you said hello. Tae was Beomgyu’s BTS bias, and the idol he looked up to most, so you wondered if that had anything to do with his nervousness around you.
Once you started getting him ready and he began to open up, you soon found that he actually reminded you a lot of Tae. He was extremely talkative and energetic, but also incredibly sweet. He had a very bright personality and seemed to simply radiate positive energy. He also just so happened to have an incredibly deep voice and be from Daegu. You had heard people make comparisons between him and Tae before and now that you were actually talking with him at length you understood why. Obviously, no one would ever replace Tae, but it was kind of nice to be spending the day with someone whose personality you knew yours meshed well with.
In all honesty, though, it would be hard not to get along with any of the guys. They were all so great, so kind and funny and outgoing. They were also all so young, most of them not even 20 and technically still teenagers, that at 26 you felt positively ancient. Their youthfulness made the environment in the room much more relaxed and playful than it was in your own studio which you loved. Given that you were used to being rowdy and silly with Tae, you felt like you fit right in.
Despite the fact that you were genuinely enjoying yourself, you did still miss him which is why you started smiling down at your phone like an idiot when he texted you.
[Taehyung 11:01 AM] How is my puppy doing?
[Taehyung 11:02 AM] Are you having fun in your new home?
[11:03 AM] They are such adorable little babies.
[11:03 AM] I am literally so soft right now 🥺
[Taehyung 11:04 AM] Haha I’m glad it’s going well.
[Taehyung 11:04 AM] Don’t get too comfortable, though.
[Taehyung 11:05 AM] I miss you and I want you back here with me.
[11:05 AM] You miss me, huh?
[Taehyung 11:05 AM] I do.
[Taehyung 11:06 AM] I miss the way you run your hands through my hair when you’re using the flat iron.
[Taehyung 11:06 AM] And the way you part your lips just a little bit when you’re putting on my makeup.
[Taehyung 11:07 AM] And the way you tilt your head to the side ever-so-slightly when you’re shamelessly checking me out 😉
[11:07 AM] You’re a little too cocky for your own good, you know that?
[11:08 AM] I think I’m going to ditch you and start secretly dating Beomgyu just to spite you.
[Taehyung 11:08 AM] Noooo don’t leave me, sweetheart.
[Taehyung 11:08 AM] 😭😭😭
[Taehyung 11:08 AM] I’ll be a good boy.
[11:09 AM] You promise?
[Taehyung 11:09 AM] I promise.
[Taehyung 11:09 AM] I won’t make any more jokes about how thirsty you are.
[11:10 AM] 😑
[11:10 AM] You’re dead to me, Kim Taehyung.
[Taehyung 11:10 AM] I’M SORRY.
[Taehyung 11:11 AM] I’m serious now. No more jokes.
[Taehyung 11:11 AM] How about I tell you how thirsty I am to make it up to you?
[Taehyung 11:11 AM] I’ll tell you all the filthy, unprofessional thoughts I had about you in the shower this morning...
[11:12 AM] …
[11:12 AM] You may proceed.
After Tae divulged his naughty shower fantasy in deliciously explicit detail, the two of you spent the rest of the day sending scandalous messages back and forth. It wasn’t full-on sexting, but it was still pretty risqué, especially considering you were not just working, but in the Big Hit building itself. The fact that you hadn’t been together in almost a week made it all the more exciting and had you absolutely itching to finally get your hands on him later that night.
You did feel slightly guilty reading and writing such filthy things while in the presence of your precious TXT babies, but you loved the idea of Tae doing so while he was with Jisoo. As you had predicted, she was all over him while everyone was together in the big room where the photos were being taken. After watching him basically ignore her all week, it was a little hard to watch him slip back into the role of her doting boyfriend while they were talking to Bang PD, but you knew he was just trying to put on a show and make it look convincing. Of course, it was actually no longer necessary for him to do that given that they would be ending their ‘relationship’ shortly and you would be leaving Big Hit not long after, but he unfortunately didn’t know that yet so you had no right to be frustrated.
Things were pretty hectic while the photos were being taken so you unfortunately didn’t get a chance to sneak back over to the BTS team and talk to Tae. However, you did shamelessly check him out from afar and decided, in your completely unbiased opinion, that he was hands down the most attractive Big Hit idol. He looked fantastic in the outfit you had picked out for him, but you chuckled to yourself when you saw that Mrs. Choi, who was quite conservative when it came to showing skin, had made him button his shirt up all the way. Usually you left at least one or two buttons undone, although lately he had been sneakily undoing a couple more. He claimed it was because he thought ARMY would like it, but you knew he just wanted to tease you with a full view of his chest when you leaned in to do his makeup.
By the end of the day you found yourself feeling quite exhausted, but overall really happy with how everything had gone. Spending the day with TXT had been a really great experience for you, both professionally and personally. As much as you hated not being with Tae, you realized partway through the day that it was probably a good thing that you had both gotten a taste of what it was going to be like once you left Big Hit in a little over a month.
In some ways, you felt like today’s change of plans was going to make this evening’s conversation go more smoothly. You had proven that you could both function totally fine at work without the one another and that you could successfully stay connected throughout the day. You hoped that this would be of reassurance to Tae when he undoubtedly got upset about the fact that you wouldn’t be together all the time anymore and started worrying that you wouldn’t be as close.
You were definitely still a little nervous about tonight, but that was to be expected before having an incredibly emotional, life-changing conversation. After what had happened last night, though, you were actually feeling more sure than ever that it was going to go well. Although unpleasant at the time, what the two of you went through had ended up giving you a great deal of confidence in your ability to tackle the upcoming challenges together. It showed you that as long as there was communication, honesty, and accountability in your relationship, everything would be OK.
~~~
Once the shoot was officially over, you found yourself back in the TXT studio helping to clean up and put away the guys’ outfits. You were hanging Beomgyu’s clothes on the rack in the corner when Baekhyun approached you.
“Thank you again for helping us out today,” he said sincerely. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“It was my pleasure,” you replied back happily. “I really enjoyed working with Beomgyu.”
“The feeling is mutual,” he said back smoothly, laughing a bit before he spoke again. “He was quite taken with you. I overheard him telling Soobin that he wished you could stay.”
You let out a little laugh in return, blushing slightly as you then diverted your attention back to the clothes in front of you. You were definitely going to enjoy telling Tae that little bit of information.
“I’m really glad Taehyung was able to help set this up,” Baekhyun then added.
You were smiling to yourself as he said that, imagining Tae getting all riled up and jealous at the thought of Beomgyu wanting to have you as his stylist, but his comment caught your attention and pulled you from your thoughts.
“What do you mean ‘help set this up’?” you asked curiously as you began buttoning up the shirt in your hands.
“Oh, I assumed he told you. I ran into him in the café this morning and we got talking about our situation,” Baekhyun said casually. “He’s the one who came up with the idea of you transferring over to help us out.”
Upon hearing his words, your hands immediately ceased their work, your fingers tightening around the topmost button like a vice.
It was Tae’s idea for you to transfer?
“He thought it would be fun for you to shake things up and spend a day with our boys,” he went on, blissfully unaware of the true impact of what he was saying.
“After he and I talked I reached out to Mrs. Choi and we made it happen,” he then continued as he made room on the rack and hung up Soobin’s outfit.
Momentarily stunned by this revelation, it took a few moments for you to remember that you needed to respond back to Baekhyun.
“Oh, right. Tae did mention that before I left this morning,” you lied, giving him a smile you hoped he couldn’t tell was completely fake.
“I must admit, I’m a little surprised he let you slip away,” he said with a chuckle before adding more seriously. “But, selfishly I’m glad he did because we truly needed the help.”
It looked like he was about to say something else, but just as he opened his mouth one of the other stylists suddenly called out to him from the other side of the room. He thanked you again for your help, shot you another smile, and then excused himself, leaving you alone with your now very tumultuous thoughts.
Staring down at the floor dejectedly, you felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you thought about everything Tae had said and done today. How surprised he seemed when you told him you’d be working with TXT for the day. How he said he wished you didn’t have to be the one to go. How he was worried about them liking you and wanting to keep you. How he spent all day saying that he missed you and couldn’t wait for you to come back. He did and said all of those things when all along he was the reason you were sent away in the first place.
You were hurt that he did that and didn’t tell you and even more hurt that he then put on that big performance when you left. At the time, him pouting and worrying about you leaving him even for a day made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but now it just made you feel humiliated. If he was the one to suggest that you be transferred, he obviously had no problem with you being away from him.
The fact that he then spent the rest of the day sending you flirty and suggestive text messages only made you feel worse. Just like last week when you realized he lied about where he was and then came home and slept with you, you felt betrayed and also used. Even if you hadn’t done anything physical today, you had still engaged in a form of intimacy. Knowing that you had said all those things to each other while he was being dishonest with you made you feel dirty and not in a good way.
What hurt the most, though, was the fact that he did all this after everything that happened last night. Just this morning he had written you what you thought was a sincere note apologizing for hurting you and promising to try and be a better man for you. For him to then turn around just a few hours later and lie to your face made all the beautiful words in that note seem hollow.
You just didn’t understand why he kept this from you or why he even did it in the first place. Your initial worry was that he was upset with you about something and wanted space, but that didn’t really make sense given he spent all day talking to you. With that in mind, you tried to think of some other reasons for why he might have acted this way. Maybe he threw out the suggestion not thinking they would actually follow through with it and then felt guilty once he realized they did and decided not to say anything? Maybe he was worried you were still secretly upset about last night and thought it would be best if you two didn’t work together today so things wouldn’t be awkward?
Whatever the reason, it was wrong for him to have lied, especially about something that involved your job. The two of you had always been careful not to let your relationship interfere with work, but today he had definitely crossed the line and that was not OK. With a heavy heart, you added this to the ever growing list of things you and him needed to talk about tonight. Less than an hour ago you were feeling more confident than ever that your relationship was solid and everything was going to be alright, but you couldn’t deny that this most recent discovery had shaken you. It just wasn’t like Tae to keep secrets from you.
At least, not until recently
As you collected your things, said goodbye to the remaining members of the TXT team, and started wandering down the hall towards the elevator, you texted Tae and tried to push that unnerving thought from your mind.
[4:55 PM] Are you heading home soon?
You hoped he was. Your anxiety regarding tonight’s conversation had skyrocketed during the last 10 minutes and you now felt an overwhelming urge to finally get everything out in the open. You had spent all week calming yourself down and trying to think rationally, and had even handled last night’s fight with a surprising amount of poise, but right now you felt yourself slowly slipping back into a state of panic. Something about the whole TXT transfer situation just felt so off.
As you stood there leaning against the wall by the elevator waiting for him to respond, you felt that now all-too familiar sense of unease creeping back in. You could see that he had read your message and the longer it took for those three dots to appear the worse you started to feel. It was a relatively simple question, one that shouldn’t take this long to answer. After waiting and waiting and waiting, you were just about to write something else when he finally responded.
[Taehyung 5:01 PM] Sweetheart, I’m so sorry but I just found out that me and the guys have to stay at the dorms for the rest of the weekend.
[Taehyung 5:02 PM] Things have been kind of tense between everyone lately and Jimin and I fighting last night sent Joon-hyung into a tailspin.
[Taehyung 5:02 PM] He wants us all to spend some time together so we can work things out before award show season starts.
[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’ve got plenty of clothes and stuff there so I’m going to head straight there.
[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’m sorry I won’t be there to snuggle with you tonight ☹️
[Taehyung 5:04 PM] Call me when you get home, OK? I miss you and I want to hear your voice.
An overwhelming and unbearable sadness came over you as you read and reread his messages. Thirty minutes ago you overheard Jin talking on the phone with who you could only assume was his fiancé. ‘That sounds great, darling. I’ll be home in an hour or so.’, you heard him say happily into the receiver. Namjoon had clearly not requested that everyone in the group stay at the dorms tonight.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you came to the heartbreaking realization that every single word Tae just wrote to you was a lie. He wasn’t going to the dorms because he had to, but because he wanted to, that is, if he was even going to the dorms at all. He wasn’t actually sorry that he wasn’t going to be able to snuggle with you tonight nor did he miss you or want to hear your voice. He just wanted you to think all of those things were true.
He was avoiding you, plain and simple. He didn’t want to see you last night. He didn’t want to see you this morning. He didn’t want to see you during the shoot. He didn’t want to see you now. He didn’t want to see you tomorrow. He just didn’t want to see you, period. This fear had crossed your mind the moment Baekhyun told you what Tae had done, but at the time you didn’t want to believe it. Now, though, this fact was just too glaringly and painfully obvious to ignore.
Your head was spinning as you stepped into the empty elevator. Slumping against the far wall, you felt truly overwhelmed by how rapidly everything was falling apart. From the very beginning this fake dating nightmare, and your relationship itself, you now realized, had been a house of cards waiting to collapse. One after another after another, the secrets had piled up on top of it and their staggering weight had finally become too much to bear.
Sadly, there was not a doubt in your mind which secret had been the breaking point.
Just yesterday afternoon you had believed with all your heart that whatever Tae was secretly doing, it wasn’t something that you had to worry about. You trusted that he had a totally valid reason for why he hadn’t told you about it and were convinced that he would explain everything when the time was right. But right now, after realizing he had spent all day telling you lies and pushing you away, the truth could no longer be ignored.
Whatever happened last night, Tae felt guilty about it. He felt guilty and was hiding from you because of it, physically hiding from you. The best case scenario was that he was only doing that because he didn’t think he could keep up the façade if he was with you in person, but the terrible, sinking feeling in your stomach told you that wasn’t true.
Just as the elevator doors closed, the first few tears started rolling down your cheeks as you recalled the way he had recoiled from you last night when you went to hug him and how he had been reticent to cuddle you and the fact that he wore a shirt to bed.
He didn’t want you near him.
He didn’t want you to touch him.
He didn’t want you to see him.
You knew at that moment that he wasn’t just hiding from you, but hiding something from you, something tangible and visible, something that would tell you exactly what he had been doing last night.
“It can't be...he wouldn't...,” you whispered to yourself as your head fell into your hands and you finally allowed your mind to wander to the darkest of places in search of an explanation.
A second later, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Slowly raising your head, you looked up and saw none other than Jisoo standing before you. She was still in her photoshoot outfit which was a beautiful floor length halter dress in a deep shade of red. It was probably the most conservative dress you’d ever seen her wear, but she looked stunning nonetheless, elegant even.
After eyeing you up and down disdainfully, and obviously noticing your tear-stained cheeks, she stepped in beside you. The moment the doors closed and you were alone, she caught your gaze in the mirrored doors in front of you.
“You know, I was supposed to wear something else today, but I accidentally had a little too much fun last night,” she said smugly as she tugged the neckline of her dress to the side.
There, all over her chest, trailing from her collarbone down to the swell of her breasts and no doubt beyond, were a plethora of hickeys. The sight made your already queasy stomach churn, but it was her next words that truly sickened you.
“If you think these are bad, you should see the ones I left on him,” she cooed, feigning remorse as she threw the words you had spoken to her on Monday back in your face.
For a few heart stopping moments, your mind went completely blank as you struggled to comprehend what you were seeing and hearing, but as you gazed in horror at those red and purple bruises, the last piece of puzzle, the one that explained Tae’s evasive, mysterious behavior, finally fell into place.
Why he was upset that you were still awake last night.
Why he was so distant and cagey.
Why he wore a shirt to bed.
Why he left this morning before you could see him.
Why he didn’t want you to be his stylist today.
Why his shirt was buttoned all the way up during the shoot.
Why he said he needed to stay at the dorms.
Why he literally did everything and anything within his power today to make sure you did not see him.
It was all so heartbreakingly clear now: his chest was covered with hickeys.
He cheated on you last night with Jisoo, accidentally let her leave marks, and was now hiding from you until they went away. From the moment you realized Tae was wearing a shirt to bed last night, this terrifying explanation had begun lurking in the shadows of your mind, but you had simply refused to acknowledge it. When you woke up this morning and found his heartfelt apology, you accepted it without question because you were too scared to face the truth.
“I tried to tell you, but you didn’t listen,” she sneered, letting go of her dress and allowing it to conceal the evidence once more.
Every single word that left her lips was a dagger in your heart and the pain became all the more excruciating when you realized every single one was true. She did try to tell you, multiple times, and you didn’t listen. Instead, you kept blindly believing the man that you knew for a fact was lying to you.
“Do yourself a favor and take that last shred of dignity you have left and leave him,” she then added, now sounding deadly serious. “Leave him before you can embarrass yourself any further by continuing to desperately cling to someone who does. not. love. you. ”
With every terrible word she emphasized, your heart sank lower and lower until it was lying in a heap on the cold, lonely floor. You tried to think of something, anything to say in reply, but your mind was a dark, empty void. On Monday she had claimed he didn’t want you, but you proved her wrong by getting him to sleep with you. There was a world of difference, though, between wanting someone and truly loving them. What did you have to prove this new, far more devastating claim wrong?
His empty promises? His manipulative behavior? His blatant lies?
Nothing. You had nothing.
Because the way Tae treated you today is not the way you treat someone you love.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home,” she said casually once the elevator stopped and the doors opened. “I’m expecting company this evening.”
And with that, she strolled out into the parking garage.
It was her final insinuation, that the place where he was going to hide the marks from you was the very place where he had received them, that caused the dam inside you to finally break. All at once great, heaving sobs began tearing through your chest, shattering your heart and grinding the broken shards into nothing but dust.
People talked all the time about the ‘Duality of Kim Taehyung’. They marveled at how quickly and easily he can go from being playful to serious, shy to outgoing, cute to sexy. What no one ever talked about, though, is how he can use this remarkable talent of his to manipulate those around him. One second he’s showering you with love and attention, making you swoon with his sweet words and affectionate gestures, but a second later he’s exploiting the trust you’ve given him so you’ll let your guard down long enough for him to use you and take from you until there is nothing left.
All day long he had manipulated you. He used flattery and gifts and grand declarations of love to distract you from his hurtful and suspicious behavior. He made you feel wanted and needed and desired so you wouldn’t realize he was secretly avoiding you and pushing you away. He was so affectionate and protective that you believed your safety and happiness were his priority when in reality he had a hidden, selfish agenda. He told you exactly what you wanted to hear to distract you from the awful, gut-wrenching truth.
That all that time you spent convincing yourself that he loved you and respected you and would never hurt you, you were only lying to yourself.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct @foodwaterbangtansonyeondan  @vantedmp
104 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 47 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 5.8k
warnings: none
A/N: The long ass chapter was unanimously voted for so here it is! I hope you enjoy. Also, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your thoughts and reactions and predictions :)
Chapter 47: Lying To Yourself - Part 2
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
There are moments in your life that you know without question you will never forget. They are indelible, monumental ones with profound and lasting effects, ones during which everything changes and after which you know you will never be the same.
The moment in your backyard when your mom told you her diagnosis was one.
The moment on the beach when Tae first called you his and kissed your temple was another.
The moment in your bedroom when you unconsciously recoiled from him was the most recent.
The panic and unease that you felt when he touched you subsided by the time he left the room, but by then the damage had already been done. The look on his face after you pulled away from him had caused a fracture somewhere deep down in your heart. From it emanated a dull, throbbing ache that reverberated throughout every corner of your body right down to the very core of your being. Tae was the love of your life. He was one day going to be your husband and father of your children. He was your home.
But you had let things get so bad, had kept so many secrets and let your mental health deteriorate to such an extent that, for the briefest of moments, you had been afraid of him.
Feelings of immense shame and deep regret began welling up inside you almost instantly and only intensified as the night progressed and Tae showered you with a level of love and attention that you felt wholly undeserving of.
He made one of his grandmother’s recipes for dinner, one he said she always made for him whenever he wasn’t feeling well. Once he was done, he didn’t call you into the kitchen, he brought a plate to you right there in the living room. After settling in behind you on the couch with your back to his chest, he proceeded to feed you with one hand and hold you close with the other. As if that wasn’t adorable enough, he spent the whole time saying sweet things like, ‘Have to take care of my Jagi’ and ‘Want my sweetheart to feel better’. Later on, after you had watched several episodes of your show and were starting to drift off, he carried you to bed and tucked you in.
The flood of guilt that poured down upon you that night as you tried and failed to fall asleep nearly drowned you. Tae had given you everything. Not just that night, but every night and every day since that moment on the beach. He had shown you over and over again how much he loved and respected and cherished you, but still you let in doubts about him, stomping all over his unwavering support and commitment with your unfounded mistrust and suspicion.
Yes, you were in a unique, complicated, and stressful situation by dating Tae in secret and having a fake dating cover. Yes, you were being harassed and manipulated by a selfish, conniving bitch who was clearly determined to ruin your relationship. But, at the end of the day, you were ultimately the one to blame for your life’s current state of disrepair.
You didn’t speak up.
You didn’t ask for help.
You didn’t take control of your own life.
As you laid there in Tae’s arms, the faint, but steady panging in your chest a cruel reminder of the hurt you had caused to you both, your mind latched onto a small flicker of hope.
It’s not too late to fix this.
Right?
~~~
Monday night you had lied when you said you didn’t feel well, but over the course of the next few days you found yourself feeling legitimately ill as you toiled over how to fix the mess you had created. Your head hurt all the time, no doubt from the turbulent thoughts that endlessly swirled through your mind. You felt nauseous when you remembered the awful things you’d allowed yourself to imagine or thought about how close you’d been to ruining everything. Your body ached from head to toe, though, nothing hurt quite as much as your heart. And, you were tired, so, very tired.
You knew these physical symptoms were psychosomatic, mere manifestations of the emotional stress you were experiencing, but Tae didn’t and immediately went into concerned, protective boyfriend mode. Whenever he asked what you thought might be wrong you said you just felt off and not like yourself which was technically the truth. You told him not to worry, though, and that you were sure you would feel better soon which was also the truth. At the end of the week, once you talked to him and made a plan for how to move forward together, you would feel better.
However, your reassurances unfortunately did nothing to quell his worries. He spent all week fretting about your health and doting on you, making sure you were comfortable and taken care of at all times. Around the apartment, he didn’t let you lift a finger. Despite your protests, he insisted on doing all the cooking and cleaning and laundry. He was also extremely physically affectionate, giving you shoulder massages and endless forehead kisses and all the cuddles, but he thankfully didn’t push for any kind of intimacy. Although the thought of it no longer made you uncomfortable, you wanted to wait until after you talked to be with him again.
He kept pleading for you to stay home from work and rest and even began threatening to tell Mrs. Choi that you were pushing yourself through sickness. You assured him it wasn’t that serious and that you were fine to keep working, but made an appointment with your doctor for next week anyway to appease him. It had been your plan to eventually make one anyway to discuss birth control options so the timing worked out.
While at work he was more affectionate and protective than ever before. Every day, he left one of your favorite dark chocolate truffles on the counter next to the ‘Best Friend Tata’ along with a secret, sweet note. When Mrs. Choi asked you to bring up some boxes from the storage closet downstairs, he offered to go with you and then refused to let you take any, carrying all three up by himself. He reminded you to stay hydrated throughout the day and refilled your water bottle every time it was close to empty. He even once accidentally gave your back an affectionate rub after you casually mentioned it was sore which thankfully no one saw.
All week long Jisoo seemed to be an afterthought to him, that is, if he even remembered at all that they were supposed to ‘dating’. He skipped all his cafe lunches with her and instead opted to eat with you in the break room. Clearly not wanting to leave your side unless absolutely necessary, he never went over to her studio. The few times she came to visit your studio, he paid her little mind and instead kept his focus on you, periodically asking how you were feeling or if there was anything you needed.
Although your original plan of purposefully rubbing your relationship in Jisoo’s face had gone out the window after the whole ‘J’ text message discovery, you realized partway through the week that Tae was unintentionally doing it anyway. Her displeasure over his lack of attention to her was deliciously obvious to you and the fact that he didn’t notice whatsoever made it all the sweeter. If him skipping lunch with her to have sex with you was winning the battle, then him basically forgetting about her existence because he was so concerned for your well-being was definitely winning the war.
You felt somewhat guilty for not telling him the real reason why you weren’t feeling well and for keeping him at arm’s length, but the space you created for yourself by doing so gave you some much-needed perspective regarding your current situation and its implications for your future together. Originally, you just wanted to confront him about what it was that he was hiding, but it dawned on you Monday night that doing so would only be addressing the symptom of a greater problem: the lack of trust and stability in your relationship. As the week progressed, and you thought through all that had happened and everything you were feeling, you eventually came to several crucial, long-overdue realizations.
By Tuesday, you knew you needed to come clean about everything you had been bottling up this past month. You were concealing your true feelings so as not to hurt him, but concealing your true feelings was causing him pain anyway. The longer you went without sharing them, the more damage they would cause when they inevitably spilled out. It would be painful for you both to talk about your deep-seated insecurities and the ways in which he had inadvertently hurt you, but together you would heal and your relationship would be that much stronger.
By Wednesday, you knew you needed to put an end to the fake dating immediately. Tae was fake dating Jisoo to protect your relationship, but fake dating Jisoo was putting your relationship in even greater danger than before. She had proven she could not be trusted and that her intentions were purely selfish. She was a deadly, toxic leech and it was clear she would keep taking from you until there was nothing left if given the chance. If Bang PD or anyone else still had doubts after they broke up, so be it. That was a risk you were willing to take to get her out of your life and take away the power she currently had over you.
By Thursday, though, you had come to the biggest, most consequential realization of all. You were at your station getting ready to head home for the day when Eunji and Donghae came over. You assumed they were coming over to gossip or just say goodbye…until you noticed they were holding hands. In hindsight, you shouldn’t have been surprised to learn they were dating. There had always been a little spark between them. You had always felt ever-so-slightly like a third wheel when you were all together.
Truly, though, you couldn’t be happier for them; they made a great couple. The excitement radiating off of them was contagious, and you found your mood lifting instantly just seeing them beam at one another all sappily. However, it was something Eunji said that had the most profound effect on you.
‘It just feels so good to say it out loud and not have to hide it anymore.'
That was the precise moment when you finally accepted a truth you had been avoiding for days: you needed to leave Big Hit. You were keeping your relationship a secret so you could be together, but keeping your relationship a secret was tearing you apart. You had come to this conclusion once before only to have Tae then convince you otherwise. His heart was absolutely in the right place when he did so, and you did not fault him for trying to preserve what seemed to be the ideal situation, but you knew now that the dream of being with him at Big Hit and with him was just too good to be true.
Sneaking around, keeping secrets, lying to everyone. You simply could not keep living like that for the next five plus years. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t fair. The truth, you now realized, was that you needed more. You both deserved more. You didn't deserve to have to keep things hidden, to be made to feel like your love was shameful and what you were doing was wrong. You deserved to be in a relationship where you felt secure, one where you could openly give and receive all the love and support you needed.
You leaving Big Hit would certainly present new challenges to your relationship, but if Tae loved you like you thought he did, he would understand it was truly the right decision. If you wanted that beautiful future he told you about - the kids, the big house in the countryside, the happily ever after - then this was a sacrifice that needed to be made.
Coming to all of these realizations had been a difficult and emotionally draining process, but you knew that sharing them with Tae was going to be even harder. No matter how carefully you chose your words, no matter how calmly you spoke, he was going to get extremely upset. For that reason, you thought long and hard about when to have this big, life-changing conversation.
Originally, you had planned to talk to him tomorrow before he met up with ‘J’, but he had actually not yet mentioned that he was going anywhere. If he wasn’t going out after all, you thought it might be best to wait until after the Big Hit family photoshoot on Saturday; dropping this bomb the night before seemed rather cruel. However, when you remembered that Jisoo was going to be there, and that she was going to be putting on a big show with Tae for Bang PD, you knew you couldn’t wait. You had to talk to him tomorrow.
You were looking forward to relaxing and enjoying this last evening with him before everything changed, but as soon as you got home from work you noticed Tae was a little off. He was strangely quiet throughout all of dinner and then only grew more withdrawn once you started cuddling on the couch watching Netflix. You were just about to ask him what was wrong when he suddenly paused the episode you were watching.
For the next few minutes he didn’t say anything, but you swear you could just hear him thinking. Eventually, he gently turned you around in his arms so you were facing him. The way he was nervously biting his lips and fidgeting his hands on your waist instantly set off alarm bells in your head. He looked so scared right now and your immediate thought was that he somehow knew what you were planning to tell him tomorrow.
“Jagi, the reason why you aren’t feeling well...is it because...are you…,” he began apprehensively before his voice trailed off.
You waited anxiously for him to finish that sentence and admit he somehow knew you had spent all week having an existential crisis which ultimately resulted in your decision to leave Big Hit. Taking a slow, deep breath, he gave you one last searching look before continuing.
“A-Are you pregnant?” he finally asked in a shaky, breathy voice.
Upon hearing his words, your eyes went wide. That was the absolute last thing you thought he was going to ask you.
“It’s just...I know it can happen even when you use protection and you brought up birth control for the first time on Sunday and now you’re suddenly feeling nauseous and achy and exhausted without any other explanation,” he rushed out.
“I can’t help but wonder if you took a test after we talked and found out you are, but that you’re afraid to tell me because you think I’ll be upset and not want you to keep it,” he then added, the hurt in his voice unmistakable.
“I know it would be really overwhelming and even a little scary if you were, but it hurts me to think that you wouldn’t want to tell me,” he went on, now getting a bit emotional. “That you think I wouldn’t be supportive.”
“Because the truth is, if you told me right now that you were pregnant I would be the happiest man in the world,” he said softly.
“I always saw us starting our family in the next few years before I went into the military so if we unintentionally got a head start that would be perfectly OK,” he then admitted with a hesitant smile.
“I would take care of you, sweetheart,” he added earnestly as he cupped your cheek with his hand. “We would get married and I would take care of you and our baby and I would be so unbelievably happy.”
For a few moments you simply stared back at him in stunned silence. You didn’t know what shocked you more, that your behavior this week had led him to this conclusion or the fact that he wouldn’t be at all upset if you had accidentally gotten pregnant. In all honesty, you always thought it would be many years before he’d want to get married and then many more after that before he’d want to start a family. As much as he loved kids, you assumed he wouldn’t want to start having them at the height of his career with BTS.
His declaration that he wouldn’t just be there for you, but would be genuinely excited, was by far the sweetest, most romantic thing he’d ever said to you. In that moment, you knew with absolute certainty that you and him were going to be OK. The changes that were coming would be difficult, yes, but you would get through them together.
You had half a mind to tell him everything right then and there, but you soon found yourself overcome with emotion. You felt guilty that you’d caused him to worry like this. You felt relieved that you would still be able to tell him of your decision on your own terms tomorrow. But, mostly you just felt grateful. Grateful that he was yours. Grateful to have his love.
“Tae, I’m not pregnant,” was all you managed to get out before you buried your face in his neck and began crying happy tears.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Tae quickly said as he hugged you tightly to his chest. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“I was just worried,” he then added before placing a tender kiss on your temple. “You’ve never gotten sick like this before and I was worried and then I started thinking about things and Googling your symptoms and that made me more worried but also kind of excited and I just wanted to make sure and-“
You stopped his adorable rambling by gently pressing your lips to his.
“Baby, I’m not upset,” you said softly. “These are good tears.”
“I just love you so much,” you then added as you kissed the tip of his nose.
“I love you too,” he replied, gazing at you with a look of such adoration it made your heart melt.
“When the time comes, I promise you’ll be the first to know,” you then said with a shy smile.
“OK, Jagi,” he said back, giving you a big, boxy smile as he brushed away a stray tear with his thumb.
The two of you then spent the rest of the night holding each other close, sharing tender, lingering kisses, and whispering sweet nothings. This time, as you laid there in his arms, you felt the ache in your heart fade and the flicker of hope grow with each passing second.
You wouldn’t just fix it, you would make it better than ever before.
~~~
The following morning when you woke up, you felt better than you had in a long time. You felt well-rested, having fallen asleep rather quickly and finally gotten a decent night’s sleep. More than that, though, you felt at peace. At peace with your decision and the new direction your life with Tae was going to take. You were certainly still a little anxious about actually having the conversation, but last night gave you all the reassurance you needed to know that he would understand and support you.
After enjoying some lazy morning snuggles with him which Tannie boldly intruded on, the two of you eventually got yourselves out of bed and dressed for work. A short while later you were in the kitchen sipping coffee and reading the news when Tae came in.
“Hey, I just realized that I forgot to tell you I’m going over to Jimin's tonight for dinner,” he said casually as he began making himself some tea. “We realized on Monday that we haven’t really hung out in a while.”
“He says he’s worried you’ve replaced him as my soulmate,” he went on with a laugh. “He’s absolutely right, but I can’t let him know that just yet.”
The laugh you let out in response was hearty and genuine. All week long you had been waiting for this moment, but now that it was here you realized you didn’t want to press him and force him to reveal the truth. You trusted Tae, wholly and unequivocally. Whatever he was doing, whatever project he was working on, you believed with all your heart that he had a perfectly valid reason for not telling you about it yet, that it had absolutely nothing to do with Jisoo, and that it wasn’t anything you needed to worry about. It would probably come up anyway when you talked about everything tonight; there was no need to interrogate him about it right now.
“I suppose I could share you for a little while,” you said back in an exaggeratedly disappointed voice.
“Will you be out late you think?” you then questioned lightly, hoping he wouldn’t because your talk would probably take a fair amount of time.
“No, definitely not,” he assured you with a smile. “Not with the shoot tomorrow.”
“Ok, I’ll wait up for you then,” you replied nonchalantly.
“I’d like that,” he said back shyly, turning to give you a little smile. “I don’t like to go to bed without saying goodnight to you.”
Blushing a bit at his sweet words, you gave him a bashful smile of your own as you felt yourself relax a tiny bit more.
Tonight is going to go just fine
The day went by incredibly quickly. There was so much you and the other stylists needed to do to prepare for the photoshoot that there was hardly time to even think about your impending talk with Tae. You did, however, schedule a meeting with Mrs. Choi for Monday morning. Assuming your talk tonight went well, you would need to let her know about your plans to leave Big Hit. You were thinking it would be best to leave just before the holidays and wanted to give her enough time to find a replacement before then.
You also needed to give yourself time to find another job. Where you wanted to work next was something you hadn’t figured out yet and obviously needed to talk over with Tae. Given your experience, it made sense to go work with another group at one of the other management companies, but part of you wondered if it would be best to leave the music industry altogether. Perhaps you could take Park Seo-joon up on his offer and get a job working on a TV show. It would be different, for sure, but maybe the change would be good and would make you miss Big Hit and Tae a little less.
You only saw him once during the day when he dropped by the studio to pick something up from the storage closet. As he walked by the table where you were ironing his outfit for tomorrow, he shot you a wink which immediately made your heart flutter. Biting back a smile, you quickly looked down and got back to work. You would definitely miss being able to enjoy little moments like this with him, but you knew that having a healthy, solid relationship would be infinitely more rewarding.
As you were packing up at the end of the day, grateful not to be getting out ridiculously late, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.
[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’m heading off to Jimin’s now.
[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’ll see you later tonight, sweetheart.
[Taehyung 5:04 PM] I love you so much 💜
[5:04 PM] Have fun!
[5:04 PM] I love you too 💜
During the drive home it finally hit you that tonight was the night that would change everything. You had managed to stay calm throughout the day, but you were officially starting to get nervous now. It’s not that you didn’t think your conversation would go well because you absolutely believed that it would. You just knew it was going to be a tough one, filled with many tears on both sides.
Once you got home you changed into pajamas, had some leftovers for dinner, and then sat on the couch with a glass of wine. You put on a show to try and distract yourself, but your mind was most definitely elsewhere. You were trying to decide where and how to start the conversation and whether or not you should have some kind of speech prepared. After an hour of contemplation, the only thing you knew for sure was that the first thing you would say was a simple, ‘I love you.’ From there, you would just speak from the heart and trust that the words would come to you.
As the night wore on, you found yourself growing a bit restless. Although you didn’t specifically ask Tae what time he would be home, when he said not too late you assumed that meant around 8 or 9:00 PM. It was nearly 10:00 PM, now, though, and you hadn’t heard anything from him. Over the next half hour you wrote and erased a dozen messages to him. You were getting slightly worried, but didn’t want to disturb him and come off as too clingy. Thankfully, before you let your mind fill with dark thoughts that involved Tae lying in a ditch somewhere, your phone buzzed on the couch beside you.
[Taehyung 10:34 PM] I’m actually going to be here a while longer.
[Taehyung 10:35 PM] You don’t need to wait up.
Staring down at the words on the screen, your heart sank. You really wanted to talk to him about everything tonight. While you could theoretically still talk in the morning, you knew you wouldn’t have a lot of time. You also knew he was going to be a wreck afterwards and didn’t want him to then have to go straight to the photoshoot. Briefly, you considered just telling him you needed to talk to him and asking if there was any way he could come home sooner, but that felt kind of desperate. You still didn’t know where he was or what he was doing and you felt guilty bothering him. Letting out a long sigh, you finally replied back.
[10:40 PM] OK. Drive safe.
You didn’t then say goodnight because you didn’t actually have any intention of going to bed. The fact of the matter was you needed to talk to him tonight, even if that meant you stayed up until 3 in the morning and then had to hide the little baggies under his eyes in the shoot tomorrow. You had waited long enough as it was and you honestly didn’t think you would be able to sleep if you didn’t get all of this off your chest. Placing your phone back down on the couch beside you, you wrapped a blanket around yourself, snuggled Tanju to your chest, and waited.
It was almost midnight by the time he finally came home. The moment you heard the apartment door open, your stomach filled with butterflies. ‘This is it’, you thought to yourself. After a month of keeping everything inside, you were finally going to let it all out. You were extremely nervous, but also excited. Tonight would mark the start of the next chapter of your life together.
“Hi, Tae,” you said softly as he rounded the corner and entered the living room.
Clearly not expecting you to be there, he literally jumped at the sound of your voice.
“Oh, you’re still up,” was all he said, looking at you with an unreadable expression.
It was just four words, just a simple sentence, but with it he still managed to completely level you. It wasn’t even what he said, but the way he said it. In his voice there wasn’t just surprise, but disappointment. You could see it too in the way his face had fallen the moment he saw you. It was almost as if he was hoping you would be asleep when he got home.
“Yea, I…I said I would wait up,” you replied back hesitantly, trying not to convey the hurt you felt at his reaction.
“Well, you didn’t have to,” he said flatly as he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.
A beat of uncomfortable silence then passed between you two as you tried to think of how to respond. Wherever he had been, whatever he had been doing, clearly something happened to make him upset. Standing up from the couch, you started walking towards him, hoping to comfort him with a hug, but the way he subtly stepped back and retreated from you had you stopping in your tracks.
“You should get to bed,” he said, his tone slightly clipped. “We have a long day tomorrow.”
As you looked him over, noting the way his hands were nervously fidgeting at his sides, the air between you grew heavy.
“Tae, is everything OK?” you asked after another few moments of awkward silence.
Your voice was now laden with concern and your expression one of genuine worry. Something was most definitely wrong right now.
“Everything is fine,” he replied, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.
“I just feel bad that you waited up,” he then added, his tone now suspiciously light and gentle. “I want to make sure you get a good night's sleep before the shoot tomorrow.”
The look he gave you then was much softer, but still reticent and with it you could just tell that he was silently pleading for you to stop asking questions. Whatever was bothering him, he didn’t want to talk about it right now. You didn’t want to press him on it if he wasn’t ready to share, but you did still want to have the conversation you had been preparing for all week long.
“I appreciate that,” you said cautiously.
“But I...I wanted to talk to you about something,” you then added hesitantly, trying to keep your voice even despite the fact that you were very much on edge at that moment.
In response, he let out a long, frustrated sigh.
“Look, I’m not really in the mood to talk right now,” he then replied irritatedly. “I’m tired and I just want to go to sleep.”
At the sound of his words, all of the courage you spent so long building up began draining out of you. Obviously, he didn’t know just how important the something you wanted to talk about was, but the fact that he just shut you down like that really stung. For a moment you thought about trying to explain to him that it really couldn’t wait, but one glance at the annoyed expression on his face immediately squashed that idea.
“OK,” you said quietly as you turned around and started towards the bedroom. “I’ll…I’ll head to bed then.”
Walking into the bedroom, you felt a heavy blanket of unease settle over you. You had never seen Tae act so strangely before, so distant and cagey and snippy. Last night he was so sweet and affectionate and caring, but right now he seemed like an entirely different person. Hoping that he was currently cooling off out in the living room, you slipped into bed and anxiously waited for him.
You waited for a long time, so long that you thought perhaps he fell asleep already out there on the couch, but eventually, sometime near 1:00 AM, he came into the room. From the way he trudged around, sighing deeply, you could tell he was still upset. When he finally climbed into bed, though, and laid down beside you but then didn’t put his arms around you like he usually did, you knew something was truly not OK.
“Tae, what’s wrong?” you whispered as you fought back tears. “Did I…did I do something to make you upset?”
From the way your words startled him, it was obvious he thought you were already asleep. Your heart plummeted in your chest when you realized he must have purposefully waited so long to come to bed in the hopes that you were no longer awake so he could avoid talking to you.
“No, sweetheart, you didn’t,” he quickly assured you as he wound his arms around you and pulled you close.
“I…I got into an argument with Jimin before I left his apartment,” he then said reluctantly. “I'm just upset about that.”
Obviously, you knew that wasn’t the truth, but you didn’t want to let him know you knew that since you hadn’t had a chance to talk to him about everything. Still, you wanted to try and understand what was wrong and why he was acting like this.
“Are you sure that’s it?” you asked in the smallest voice imaginable. “It just…it seemed like you weren’t happy to see me when you got home.”
“Jagi, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way,” he replied, the guilt in his voice evident. “You didn't do anything wrong.”
“I’m just stressed and frustrated with myself and I took it out on you,” he then added sadly. “I’m so sorry for doing that.”
For a few moments, you didn’t respond as you let his words wash over you. He did seem more flustered than angry right now, so perhaps whatever was bothering him truly wasn’t about you. Part of you still wanted to talk, but it was already so late and it just didn’t seem like the right time to get into everything. You were tired now, and still hurt from the way he had treated you, and no longer felt ready to share any of the important things you needed to tell him. With a heavy heart, you accept that it would just have to wait until tomorrow morning.
“It’s OK,” you finally said back.
“I’m sorry again, sweetheart,” he said back, sounding genuinely remorseful.
“It’s OK,” you repeated tiredly. “Let’s just get some sleep.”
“Goodnight, Tae,” you whispered.
“Goodnight, Jagi,” he said back before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
As you laid there, trying to relax and get comfortable after the unexpectedly stressful events of the evening, you suddenly noticed something. You had been so relieved when Tae finally put his arms around you and snuggled you against his chest that it initially failed to catch your attention. For the first time since you had started dating, for the first time since he stayed with you the night of the Dynamite music video shoot, he was doing something that very well might have been a coincidence, but was extremely peculiar and ever-so-slightly unsettling nonetheless.
He was sleeping with a shirt on.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic @afiaaaa19 @nooojaaam @ lucci-girl @2oct
90 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 25 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 3.6k
warnings: cursing, mentions alcohol consumption, some slight adult content (hehehe)
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Chapter 25: Love Drunk - Part 2
After discovering there was no food in your room except for dark chocolate, Tae called down to room service using the most ridiculous fake woman’s voice you’d ever heard. You were literally howling with laughter as he ordered the pancakes you asked for and nearly rolled off the bed when he told them his name was ‘Mrs. Choi’. When he was finished, he hung up the phone and walked over to where you were laying.
“You need to keep it down, little missy,” he said sternly, but with a smirk as he caged you with his arms and hovered over you.
Your laughter ceased immediately; being scolded by sexy, serious Tae was infinitely more arousing now that you could act on the desire he fueled in you.
“And if I don’t?” you asked mischievously, giving him your best smoldering stare.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Then you will be punished.”
Well fuck
It dawned on you just then that you were now maybe, hopefully dating not only the World’s Most Handsome Man, but arguably the world’s biggest tease. If you were going to survive him, you knew you needed to step your game up.
“You’re only teasing yourself, Mr. Kim,” you replied coyly. “As per the rules of my drunkenness, I’m fairly certain none of the punishments you have in mind are permissible.”
The look on his face when you said that was absolutely delicious: it was a mixture of complete astonishment and unmistakable lust.
“Little minx,” he muttered as he pulled away from you, echoing his sentiment from last night. “You are going to be the death of me.”
After recovering from that steamy encounter, and while waiting for your pancakes to arrive, drunk you then thought it was best to perform your own interpretive dance to Dynamite. Tae found your performance inspiring and declared that, should he be unable to perform tomorrow, he would most definitely nominate you as his replacement. He gave it the following officially unofficial scores: 10/10 for creativity, 11/10 for effort, and 9.5/10 for execution, the .5 point deduction coming because you accidentally knocked over a lamp while attempting a fan kick. Once you were finished, he then performed the actual Dynamite choreography, with a little extra flare that came in the form of several winks, lip bites, and blown kisses.
When your pancakes were delivered you obviously had to be the one to get the door and when you got back inside you found Tae with the remote in his hand, his big, boxy smile plastered on his face. You turned to look at the TV and, sure enough, the opening credits to Frozen were playing. You ate your pancakes with your hands, claiming that they tasted better that way, a statement which Tae wholeheartedly agreed with. They came with strawberry jam, but you just wanted to eat them plain so you let Tae have that. He ate it from the little container with his finger, doing so ever so slightly seductively and giving you a little smirk when you noticed and blushed.
When you were done eating you moved to sit between his legs, your back resting against his sturdy chest as he leaned against the headboard. He kept his arms snuggly wrapped around your waist, briefly removing one every now and then to grab the glass of water from the bedside table to remind you to drink. Every so often he would ask how you were feeling and when you at one point said you had a bit of a headache, he jumped up to get the Ibuprofen you kept in your purse. After you took some, he made sure to settle right back into his previous spot, his arms instantly encircling you once more.
As you kept watching the movie, you realized he truly did know almost all of the words which you found absolutely adorable. Listening to him sing “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” was so endearing that your love for him had literally doubled by the time the song was over. Once the movie finally came to an end a little while later and Tae turned off the TV, a giant yawn involuntarily escaped you.
“Is my Y/N sleepy?” he asked softly, sweeping your hair to the side and placing a little kiss just behind your ear.
“Maybe,” you replied, smiling at his words and giggling because that tickled just a bit. You would never stop loving how wonderful it sounded when he called you his.
“But, I don’t want you to leave so I have to stay awake,” you then said sleepily.
“Who says I’m going to leave?” he asked in reply, hugging you a little tighter as he spoke. “I believe I owe you a night’s worth of cuddles.”
A million butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the thought of him actually staying the night with you. Even if you were truly just going to sleep, it was still such an intimate thing to do together. It was something you wanted, though, something you truly felt ready for. You may have only been unofficially together for a week, but you had known and trusted and loved him for years. Intimacy, of every kind, was something you desperately craved with him.
“Yes, I believe you do,” you replied shyly as you slid your hands down his arms and intertwined your fingers with his.
For the next few minutes you just sat there like that, basking in not just the current moment, but in all the wonderful moments, both big and small, that comprised the entire evening. To be completely honest, the thought that you might actually be asleep and dreaming did cross your mind; it all just seemed so unreal. However, the sound of Tae’s voice pulled you from that thought.
“I was wondering if maybe you would like to hear my song now?” he asked hesitantly.
“I would love to,” you replied dreamily.
And so he sang his song for you, the sad, sweet lullaby about ships that you first heard what felt like ages ago. You realized at once that the song wasn’t simply about love, rather, it was a confession of love. Even in your half-asleep, still slightly buzzed state of existence, you were all but sure as to why he wrote it and why he was singing it for you now.
Around and around your mind whirled searching for the words to say and the courage to say them once he stopped singing, but nothing seemed right. Nothing you thought of could match the tenderness and sincerity of his voice, could quell the unmistakable sense of longing or secure the loose thread of hesitation woven throughout the song. In the end, though, it mattered not; the song was most certainly a lullaby, the sound of his soft, wistful humming after the second chorus being the last thing you remember hearing before you finally drifted off.
After falling asleep on his chest, you woke at some point a while later to the feeling of him gently extracting himself from your embrace. Now completely sober and suddenly feeling very self-conscious about everything that had happened, you kept your eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep. He laid you down beside him, making sure to tuck you under the covers, but then got up from the bed. For a minute or two you heard him shuffling around the room, the indistinct rustling giving nothing away as to what he was doing, until eventually the lights flicked off.
For one heart-stopping moment you thought he might be leaving, that he had changed his mind about staying, changed his mind about you, but then suddenly you felt the bed dip. The covers were lifted up briefly as he crawled under them and laid down beside you. The next thing you knew, his arm was snaking around your waist and gently pulling you closer until your back was flush with his now bare chest. He kept his arm wrapped around you, his fingers grazing the exposed skin between your tank top and shorts, as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. A second later he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder and then whispered two words just barely loud enough for you to hear.
“Goodnight, jagi.”
~~~
When you woke the next morning in Tae’s koala-bear-like embrace, you realized you were absolutely wrong last night: this was the happiest moment of your life. You had flipped over at some point during the night and were now facing him. The two of you were also now sharing a pillow, your faces close enough that you could count his long, beautiful eyelashes. His arm was still wrapped around your waist and his leg was now haphazardly thrown over yours. You were positive you could not have escaped his hold even if you tried, but that was not at all a problem; you would have been perfectly happy staying there with him like that forever.
A few moments later, when he opened his eyes and gave you the most adorable sleepy smile, you felt an incredible urge to tell him you loved him. You almost did it too, but at the last second you got cold feet. He hadn’t explicitly said it last night and you were still ever so slightly afraid that you’d misinterpreted the meaning of his song and him singing it for you.
“Hi,” he said, making absolutely no move to extract himself from you.
“Hi,” you said back, a shy smile on your face.
“How are you feeling?” he asked with a slightly concerned expression. “Do you have a headache or anything?”
“No, I feel OK,” you replied honestly before adding. “Thanks to a certain someone taking such good care of me.”
His face broke out into his signature big, boxy grin which you decided looked infinitely cuter than usual while laying in bed.
“Did I say or do anything embarrassing last night?” you then asked him hesitantly.
Instantly, his smile disappeared.
“Wait, do you not remember parts of last night?” he asked, sounding slightly panicked as he retracted his arm and leg.
“No, no, no. Tae, I remember everything,” you quickly assured him.
“I guess I was just trying to get your opinion on whether or not I made a complete fool of myself,” you went on sheepishly.
He visibly relaxed when you said that, and placed his hand back on your waist, but then furrowed his brow at you.
“You were not a fool,” he gently scolded before adding with a smile. “You were just silly and adorable.”
You breathed out a sigh of relief. You realized he likely wouldn’t have stayed the night if he thought you were a complete trainwreck, but it was still nice to get reassurance that you had not ruined everything with your drunken shenanigans.
As you looked back over at him and gave him a small smile, the gravity of the whole situation finally seemed to dawn on you. Kim Taehyung was in your bed right now. Correction: Kim Taehyung had been in your bed all night. Furthermore, he had spent that entire time holding you while shirtless, a fact you were reminded of every time your gaze wandered down from his beautiful face. You were trying, and completely failing, to keep your eyes from lingering on his bare chest, when suddenly he spoke up.
“I have a confession,” he said, looking extremely nervous.
“Ok,” you said slowly as your heart began beating erratically in your chest.
He was quiet then for a few moments and you held your breath waiting for him to continue.
“The night of The Grammys,” he started. “I-I remember everything.”
Your mouth dropped open.
“I told you I didn’t because I was embarrassed, but I did,” he said, wincing as he spoke.
“I wanted to see you,” he continued. “I was drunk and happy and I just wanted to see you.”
“I wasn’t trying to like get with you,” he quickly clarified. “Though, you did look insanely hot in that sequin tank top which was incredibly distracting.”
“Kim Taehyung, did you purposefully smear strawberry jam on a $1,500 shirt just so you could ask me to come clean it?” you asked incredulously.
“No, no! I swear I didn’t. I really was that clumsy,” he said with a laugh. “But it was the perfect excuse to text you. At least, that’s what my drunken brain thought.”
There were a million thoughts rushing through your mind and a million emotions washing over you right now, but ultimately the only response to his confession that felt appropriate was to burst out laughing.
“I’m going to kill you and that goddamn jammy shirt,” you said a moment later once you had caught your breath.
“We raised a ton of money for charity with the auction if it makes you feel any better,” he said, grinning at you.
“It does,” you replied with another laugh.
It got quiet again for a minute and you found yourself thinking that the whole incident from the night of The Grammys would one day make a really great story. You then blushed, and internally scolded yourself for jumping ten steps ahead, when you realized who exactly you imagined telling the story to.
“I’m sorry,” he then said, sounding serious once more. “I know I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
“I just panicked when I woke up in the morning and you weren’t there,” he continued quietly. “I thought you were mad at me or that you felt uncomfortable or unsafe being with me.”
Recalling the momentary panic you felt last night when you thought he was leaving, and knowing how absolutely devastated you would have been to wake up this morning with him gone, an enormous wave of guilt instantly washed over you.
“Tae, I’m so sorry for leaving like that,” you said, reaching up to take his hand in yours.
“I was just really overwhelmed,” you then admitted. “Waking up in your room, in your bed, and in your clothes was kind of devastating, to be honest.”
“It was like a dream come true that then turned into a nightmare when I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be there,” you continued. “That you didn’t actually want me there.”
“But, I did want you there,” he said earnestly. “Even if it only happened by accident.”
“The moment I saw how cute you looked in my pajamas I decided I couldn’t wait any longer,” he then added with a sad smile. “I was going to tell you how I felt the next morning.”
“You were?” you asked softly.
He nodded his head in reply and you felt your heart constrict. The two of you could have been together months ago, could have avoided so much heartbreak, if you hadn’t left that morning.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered as an immense amount of regret welled up inside you.
“Y/N, it’s OK. It doesn’t matter anymore” he said gently as he let go of your hand and instead reached up to cup your cheek. “We’re together now.”
He then stared into your eyes with that same intent look he gave you on the beach, the same one he gave you last night. His eyes flicked down to your lips as he nervously licked his own. He tilted his head ever so slightly and you instinctively mirrored the action. Then you were both slowly leaning in. Your lips were just inches apart as your eyes fluttered closed.
Oh my god it is finally going to happen…
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
At the sudden sound of someone absolutely pounding on your hotel room door, you two instantly jumped apart.
“Were you expecting someone this morning?” Tae whispered frantically.
“No!” you practically yelled in return.
Just then a few more loud knocks came, this time along with some commentary.
“Y/N, you better be awake!” the muffled, but unmistakable sound of Mrs. Choi’s voice said impatiently.
Fucking Mrs. Choi would be the one to ruin the most romantic moment of my life
“Shit, shit, shit,” you said, scrambling up out of the bed.
Tae got up too and immediately started looking around the room for somewhere to hide.
“Fuck, get in the bathroom,” you whispered, opening the door and shoving him inside. “Hide in the shower just in case.”
Two seconds later you opened the door to find Mrs. Choi mid-knock, a look of extreme annoyance plastered on her face.
“I see you were still in bed just now,” she said, eyeing you disdainfully. “I’m disappointed, but not surprised.”
“I was expecting you to take the first bus over this morning,” she added bluntly.
You tried to respond, but she immediately cut you off.
“This is your concept we’re using today,” she then went on. “You have a responsibility to make sure it’s executed properly.”
“Yes, Mrs. Choi. Of course,” you replied sweetly, trying so hard not to let it be known that you wanted nothing more than to murder her right now. “I will be ready shortly.”
“Good,” she then said curtly before turning on her heel and storming off down the hall.
You shut the door, closed your eyes, and then leaned your forehead against it.
Fuck that was a close call
“You can come out now,” you then called to Tae as you began fiddling with the door’s numerous locks.
You heard the bathroom door open and when you turned back around a few moments later you found Tae standing right in front of you. He immediately brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and the next thing you knew his plush, pink lips were pressed against yours. It took your brain a fraction of a second to register what was happening, but then you were kissing him back, every nerve ending in your body alight.
The kiss was soft and gentle and ever so slightly hesitant, but so sweet and so indescribably perfect. Every other thought in your head disappeared and the rest of the world faded away as the only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Tae’s lips on yours. You were in a state of complete euphoria; kissing him was literally everything you ever dreamed it would be and more.
After a couple seconds he released your lips and leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed. He dropped his hands from your face and instead laced them with your own at your sides. You two stood there like that for a few wordless, blissful moments before he finally whispered, “I have wanted to do that for three years.”
“Me too,” you whispered back.
A few seconds of silence passed as the weight of your confessions settled in.
“Can I do it again?” he asked hesitantly.
“Yes,” you answered immediately.
At once his lips returned to yours only this time there was no trace of hesitancy. The kiss was urgent and hungry, fueled by years of pent up desire. At some point you must have stopped holding each others’ hands because his were now gripping your hips and yours were wrapped around his neck.
He backed you against the door slowly and when you felt his bare chest press against your thinly covered one you let out a soft moan. His kisses grew even more passionate in response as his hands pushed up the bottom of your tank top to settle on your waist. When you began tugging gently on the hair at the nape of his neck a moment later he let out a low groan of his own, a sound which you found to be utterly intoxicating.
Eager to taste that wicked, teasing tongue of his, you swiped yours against his lower lip. He complied immediately and began deepening the kiss with a dominance that had you going weak at the knees. When he gave your lower lip a soft bite a moment later, you reflexively arched your back, pressing your hips forward into his.
A jolt of electricity instantly shot through you upon feeling that he was as turned on as you were, but it dissipated a second later when he suddenly broke the kiss, removed his hands, and pulled back to look at you.
“W-we should stop,” he said breathlessly.
You were confused and on the verge of panic thinking you’d somehow already managed to ruin things with your subpar kissing abilities when he spoke again.
“I-I want to take it slow,” he said nervously. “But, I honestly don’t feel like I can control myself right now.”
“You are so beautiful and so sexy and I want to do so much more than kiss you right now,” he admitted as he slowly ran his hands down your sides, eventually settling them on the thin strip of exposed skin just below your tank top.
“But, I want to wait,” he then said, leaning his forehead against yours again. “I want to savor this. I want to savor you.”
You felt yourself flush immediately, but it wasn’t because you were embarrassed. If he had intended to de-escalate the situation with that statement, he had unfortunately failed miserably. Kim Taehyung admitting that you were making him lose control was just about the hottest thing anyone had ever said to you.
But, you fought back the urge to pull him in for another kiss because he was absolutely right, you should take this slow. After years of waiting and hoping to one day be with him, you wanted to savor every last drop of it too.
“OK,” you whispered as you kissed the beauty mark on the tip of his nose. “We’ll take it slow.”
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List:
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan
167 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 45 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 4.3k
warnings: cursing, implied sex
Chapter 45: Afternoon Delight
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
When you woke up the following morning you were exhausted, sore, and happier than you had been in a very long time. Last night was gratifying in so many different ways. From a purely physical standpoint, it had been, without a doubt, the most pleasurable experience of your life. The energy between you and Tae was unlike anything you’d ever felt before; every touch, every kiss, every thrust sent a wave white-hot pleasure coursing through you. It was truly overwhelming, but in the absolute best sense of the word.
From an emotional standpoint, though, the events of last night were even more satisfying. It felt so good to take charge, to be vocal about your desires and confident in your actions. You wanted something and you went after it without second guessing yourself. In doing that, you had proven to yourself that you were strong and courageous and fierce.
If you wanted to fight Jisoo and protect the relationship you had worked so hard to build, those were precisely the qualities you were going to need to demonstrate.
Moving the covers aside, you realized just then that you weren’t wearing any clothes and neither was Tae. You two must have fallen asleep while cuddling before you had a chance to get dressed and ready for bed. Blushing slightly, you decided that you kind of liked sleeping like this and thought maybe you’d suggest to Tae that you do it more often.
As much as you wanted to stay there with him like that, a quick glance at your watch let you know you had both slept in much later than usual. You unfortunately needed to get up now or else you would definitely be late for work. Carefully slipping out of his grasp, you got up from bed and quickly threw on clothes. After washing your face and removing the remnants of your makeup, you padded into the kitchen in the pursuit of your second true love: coffee.
A little while later you were leaning against the counter, scrolling through Twitter while you waited for the coffee to brew. You were so engrossed in the captivatingly mindless activity that you didn’t even hear Tae enter the room. The beep from the coffee maker pulled your attention from your phone, but before you could move to grab a mug you felt his muscular arms wrap around you from behind. He slid his hands underneath the shirt you had on, settling one on your waist and splaying the other across your lower abdomen. With a gentle tug, he pulled you flush against him. As he began trailing little kisses down your neck, the hand on your lower abdomen slid down until his fingers met soft fabric.
“My shirt, no bra, skimpy pair of panties,” he mused, his breath hot on your neck. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
“Hmm I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied coyly, biting back a smile.
This was, of course, a blatant lie. You knew for a fact that few things turned Tae on more than the sight of you wearing his clothes.
“I don’t believe you, little minx,” he whispered in your ear, ignoring your feeble attempt at feigning innocence.
“I think you know exactly what you’re doing right now,” he went on as he gave your earlobe a soft bite. “Just like you knew exactly what you were doing when you sent me those naughty photos yesterday.”
Before you had a chance to respond, his lips returned to your neck. The hot, open mouth kisses he started placing there had you shuddering, but it was the sinful movement of his fingers that had your breath hitching. He’d dipped them just below the band of your panties and was running them back and forth in a teasing, tortuously slow rhythm.    
“I can’t stop thinking about last night,” he purred into your ear, the words dripping from his mouth like honey. “I can’t stop thinking about how stunning you looked in that lingerie or how badly I wanted you when I was tied up or how incredible you felt when I finally got to have you.”
“And right now, all I want to do is bend you over this counter and have you again,” he admitted as he pressed his hips forward, letting you feel every inch of his desire.
Momentarily forgetting that you were supposed to be the one in control right now, you spun around in his embrace and crashed your lips against his in a ravenous kiss which he immediately returned. A few seconds later, he picked you up in one swift motion and set you down on the counter, snaking his arms around you once more and pulling you impossibly close. As you continued devouring one another, he began slowly grinding into you, hungrily and greedily swallowing the soft whimpers he drew from you. Your mind was just starting to cloud over with lust when he broke the kiss for a breath of air and suddenly stopped the intoxicating movement of his hips.
“Fuck,” he breathed out, his eyes going wide when he took in your appearance for the first time that morning. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t mean to do this,” he went on guiltily, his fingers coming up to gently brush the numerous red and purple bruises that dotted your neck.
It wasn’t unusual for Tae to leave marks. He was, after all, rather possessive when you were intimate which you didn’t mind in the slightest. They typically weren’t this severe, though, and were usually in well-hidden places like your chest or inner thigh. You normally warned him if you felt him unknowingly lingering on your neck, collarbone, or any other easily visible part of your body, but last night you didn’t say a word. Last night, when his lips latched onto that sensitive spot just below your ear, you didn’t tell him to stop or push him away. You just let him keep going, softly sucking and biting until the evidence of his passion bloomed on your skin.
“Do they hurt?” he asked quietly, concern written all over his face as he gazed at you.
“Only a little,” you admitted with a tiny grimace.
He frowned apologetically in response and then brought his lips to your neck and placed barely-there kisses over the marks, soothing the tender skin. Eventually, he moved his lips up and along your jaw until they finally found yours. The kisses you then shared were deep and languid, full of longing. They were the kind you loved to get lost in and never wanted to end.
“Let me take you back to bed, Jagi,” he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours as his thumbs rubbed little circles on your inner thighs where a few more love bites were littered.
“Want to be with you,” he murmured. “Take care of you.”
The fire that had been rushing through him moments ago was gone now, but the passion still clearly remained. You could hear it in his voice, the neediness and desperation, the desire to be so close that he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began. You wanted nothing more than to give in, to let him carry you back to bed and make love to you, slowly and gently like you knew he would, but with every fiber of your being you fought that urge.
“Baby, we’re already running late for work,” you reminded him, running your hands through his hair as you spoke. “We don’t have time.”
“Come shower with me then?” he pleaded, bringing his head up and giving you a hopeful look.
“It will be more efficient,” he then stated matter-of-factly, the slightest smirk spreading across his face.
“That is a lie and you know it,” you said with a laugh. “It takes twice as long as it should whenever we shower together.”
“I like to be thorough when I wash you,” he replied simply, his tone casual.
“It wouldn’t take so long if you weren’t such a dirty girl,” he added a moment later, giving you a seductive lip bite and raised eyebrow, a clear last ditch attempt at luring you in.
You couldn’t stop yourself from blushing, but you rolled your eyes at him and shook your head to let him know his cheesy lines weren’t going to work.
“How about this,” you began as an idea suddenly came to you.
“If you be a good boy and go get ready for work now, we can do the photoshoot tonight,” you said, loving the way his eyes went wide at your proposal.
Last night, while the two of you were lying together in a sweaty heap, Tae had hesitantly asked if you would be willing to let him take photos of you in your lingerie. Tastefully erotic photos, he said they would be, ones that would be for his eyes only whenever you were apart and he wanted to be reminded of how exquisite you were. You were a little surprised by the question, but said yes without hesitation; you trusted him completely to keep such photos private. The idea of him wanting photos of you was flattering and honestly a huge turn on. It also only seemed fair given that you had the shirtless selfie he sent you that one time saved on your phone, a photo which you might have glanced at from time to time when you wanted to be reminded of how exquisite he was.
“Deal,” he all but growled, capturing your lips in a quick, but passionate kiss before letting go of you and sauntering off towards the bedroom. Just as he was about to round the corner of the hallway, he turned around, blew you a kiss, and gave you the biggest, boxiest, heart-melting smile.
~~~
You were not usually a spiteful person.
You did not typically take joy in the suffering of others.
You did not truly believe that two wrongs made a right.
However, you simply could not deny the satisfaction and glee you felt later that morning when you rubbed your fluffy, smutty, very real and still perfectly intact relationship in Jisoo’s smug face.
It was just before noon and you were alone with Tae in the studio doing the second fitting for his Big Hit family photoshoot outfit. The shirt and jacket had been just a little bit too snug when he first tried them on a couple weeks ago, no doubt the consequence of him continuing to frequent the Big Hit gym. Having to do a little extra work by letting them out was a price you were absolutely willing to pay, though. You were completely whipped for Tae’s bulging arm muscles, especially when he used them to carry you to the bedroom and throw you down onto the bed.
Everyone else had already finished their fittings and headed out to lunch, but you had purposefully been dragging it out, wanting to still be working with Tae when Jisoo showed up so they could go to the café together like they did every Monday. Tae admitted once that it drove him crazy when you ran your hands all over him during fittings. He said he’d gotten relatively good at keeping it together and not getting too turned on over the last three years, but that his self-restraint had gone completely out the window once you started dating. It was just impossible, he admitted, not to let his mind wander to filthy places when you were touching him with the same hands that tugged at his hair when he pleasured you with his mouth and clawed at his back when he made love to you.
For this reason, you were normally extremely careful about keeping your touches strictly professional, but today you were making no such effort. Knowing he was already worked up from this morning and wanting to tease him further, you let your hands roam a little more freely and linger a little longer than usual. As subtle as you tried to be, though, he instantly picked up on what you were doing.
“You’re killing me right now, sweetheart,” he whispered as you smoothed your hands over his chest to get out the wrinkles.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” you asked sweetly, gazing up at him with big doe eyes.
“You heard me,” he muttered under his breath as he looked down at you with a dark, hungry expression on his face. “You know what you’re doing right now.”
For a few moments you two just stared at each other until eventually you gave him a tiny smirk and looked away.
“You don’t like when I touch you?” you teased quietly as you checked the fit of the waistband of his slacks, brushing your fingers dangerously close to somewhere they definitely shouldn’t be.
“Jagi, fuck,” he groaned.
“I am about two seconds away from dragging you into the dressing room and taking you up against the wall,” he admitted, his voice hushed as he leaned in slightly.
“I’ll put this in that pretty mouth of yours so no one hears you moaning my name,” he growled as he tugged on the scarf you were wearing to hide the hickeys, the same one which you just so happened to use to tie him up with last night.
“I think I’d like that,” you whispered back before giving him a seductive lip bite.
Just then, Jisoo suddenly waltzed into the studio. It was honestly probably for the best that she chose to show up at that precise moment; things had gotten entirely too steamy between you and Tae just now. In your attempt to send him into a lust-driven frenzy, you had failed to acknowledge the effect such an endeavor would have on yourself. The truth was, last night had ruined both of you. With all the teasing you two had done so far today, you were legitimately struggling not to drag him into the dressing room and do a number of scandalous, highly unprofessional things with him.
Glancing over Tae’s shoulder, you found Jisoo wearing a confused and disdainful expression as she took in the sight before her. The two of you were standing awfully close together, gazing at each other lustfully. You were looking very much like two people who had definitely not fought and possibly even broken up over the weekend which is what you can only imagine she hoped to accomplish with her poisonous words on Friday.
“Hi TaeTae,” she said brightly, plastering the fakest smile on her face.
“Hi Jisoo,” Tae replied absentmindedly, not taking his eyes off of you as he licked his lips, clearly still reeling from the intense moment you’d shared just before she arrived.
“Are you ready to go to lunch?” she then asked as she came and stood next to you.
“Hmm?” he replied confusedly as he finally tore his gaze away from you and glanced at her.
“Oh, right. Lunch,” he then said, shaking his head to clear what you knew were some very filthy thoughts.
“Are we done with the fitting, sweetheart?” he asked, the pet name accidentally falling from his perfect lips as he turned back towards you.
You did not miss the way Jisoo’s face scrunched up in distaste upon hearing him call you that. In that moment, it suddenly dawned on you why Tae had likely started also calling you this new, sweet name. He unfortunately had to call Jisoo ‘Jagi’ because that’s the pet name he let slip on national television. You would always be his true ‘Jagi’, but while he was fake dating Jisoo, he wanted you to have a special name that was only for you. Upon realizing this, and noting yet another way he had gone about demonstrating his love, you felt affection bloom uncontrollably in your chest.
“We are,” you replied, raking your eyes down his body in the most unprofessional of ways. “Everything fits perfectly. You look very handsome, as usual.”
“But, please lay off the weights between now and Saturday,” you added flirtatiously. “I won’t have time to alter these again if you keep bulking up.”
He didn’t say anything in response to that, just smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, knowing full-well the absolute last thing you actually wanted was for him to stop lifting.
“Alright, go change,” you said with a laugh.
As he walked away towards the dressing room, you found yourself alone again with Jisoo for the first time since she had deliberately tried to sabotage your relationship. You were still disgusted and frustrated with her, but you were suddenly having some second thoughts about your plan. Maybe it was enough for her just to have seen you and Tae flirting and realized that her attempt to come between you had failed. You wanted to put her in her place, but flat out embarrassing her might be a bit too much. At least, that’s what you thought...until she opened her mouth again.
“I see you’re still pathetically desperate to stay with him,” she sneered. “Even though it’s obvious he doesn't really want you.”
Oh, it’s on bitch.
“I don’t know,” you mused, pretending to actually contemplate what she had said. “He seemed to want me last night.”
As you spoke, you casually removed your scarf, giving Jisoo a full view of your neck, in all it’s colorful, passionate glory. The look on her face when she saw the hickeys was absolutely delicious; her eyes went wide as saucers and her mouth hung open.
“If you think these are bad, you should see the ones on my inner thigh,” you said innocently as you gently ran your fingers over the marks.
She audibly scoffed and rolled her eyes at your remarks, but you could just tell that she was pissed to have been so boldly presented with the proof of your intimate night with Tae.
“I’ve got some bruises on my hips too, but those were from him holding so tightly,” you went on casually, knowing you didn’t need to elaborate in order for her to understand exactly why he was gripping you like that.
“As fantastic as he was in bed, though, the best part of the weekend was definitely him calling me his future wife and mother of his children,” you then said honestly.
While Jisoo stood there, momentarily stunned by everything you had just unleashed upon her, you whipped out your phone and sent Tae a text which you were certain would catch his attention.
[11:53 AM] What would you say if I told you I wanted leftovers from last night’s delicious meal for lunch today?
[Taehyung 11:53 AM] I would tell you to get in your car right now and drive straight home.
[Taehyung 11:53 AM] So I can meet you there and serve them to you over and over again until you are satisfied.
[11:54 AM] I want them.
[11:54 AM] I need them.
[Taehyung 11:54 AM] You’re going to get them, sweetheart.
[Taehyung 11:54 AM] Meet me at home in 20 minutes.
“He was insatiable last night,” you then added, smiling at her as you looked up from your phone. “In fact, I think he’s still hungry for more.”
A moment later, Tae came out of the dressing room and started back towards you two. He looked slightly disheveled, the result of hastily throwing his clothes back on, and his hair was adorably messy. There was a deliciously dark gleam in his eyes and the faintest smirk upon his lips.
“Hey, I’m sorry but I just realized I have to run home real quick,” he said to Jisoo once he had reached the two of you. “I...uhh, forgot something.”
“But, we’re supposed to have lunch together today,” she said back, her tone one of obvious annoyance as she looked at him incredulously.
“We’ll have lunch tomorrow,” he promised as he put on his coat.
“Besides, people already saw us getting tea together at the café this morning,” he added, giving her a friendly smile. “So we’ve put on our show for the day.”
Tae reminding her that their ‘relationship’ was all for show was the absolute icing on the cake. She was seething as she glared back at him, but he was completely oblivious to her displeasure.
Since no one else would have been there to see it, he didn’t even bother to give her a goodbye hug or kiss. He just said bye and gave her a small wave. Before turning to leave, he leaned in real quick and whispered in your ear, ‘See you soon, Jagi’, shot you a wink and a devilish grin, and then quickly left the room.
As soon he was out of sight, you threw on your own coat and began packing up your bag. You thought maybe you should say something else to Jisoo, but ultimately decided against it. She knew exactly what was going on, knew Tae had clearly chosen you over her just now. At this point, there was nothing more that needed to be said. You had won.
“He’s lying to you,” she said darkly just as you were beginning to walk away.
You stilled, letting her words wash over you for just a moment before you shoved them aside and kept walking
“And, you’re lying to yourself,” you replied calmly, not even bothering to look back at her.
~~~
Approximately 20 minutes later, you were tangled with Tae beneath the sheets of your bed, your clothes strewn on the floor in a trail that started in the foyer and ended in the bedroom. He had gotten home before you and had been anxiously waiting there for you. The second you closed the apartment door he was on you, pinning you against it and capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. He roughly pulled your shirt up and off and from there the situation quickly devolved into delightfully filthy chaos.
“Jagi, you’ve ruined me once again,” Tae said afterwards, still breathing heavily as he turned to face you. “I’m going to want leftovers for lunch every day now.”
“They are incredibly delicious,” you said coyly, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“But, people would definitely notice if we just so happened to both take a long lunch every day only to come back basking in a post-sex afterglow,” you then added with a laugh.
“That is true,” he agreed glumly as an adorable pout spread across his face.
“They are also going to notice if we don’t get back soon,” you said after a few moments, gently extracting yourself from his sweaty embrace.
“You're right,” he sighed. "We should get going."
“I’m going to take a quick shower first,” he then said, planting a kiss on your forehead before rising from the bed and heading towards the bathroom.
After watching him walk away, and shamelessly admiring his incredibly cute butt in the process, you grabbed your phone off the bedside table to check your email. A few minutes later you were reading through one Mrs. Choi had just sent out about the upcoming photoshoot when you heard Tae’s phone buzzing from the pocket of his pants that were laying on the floor. It rang several times, stopped, and then immediately started ringing again. After climbing out of bed and fishing it out of the pocket, you glanced down at the screen and saw Jimin’s name.
“Tae, Jimin is calling,” you said as you walked into the bathroom where he was still showering.
“Shit,” you heard him mutter. “I was supposed to meet him at 12:30 to help him with a song he wants to record.”
“Can you text him and let him know I’ll be a little late?” he then asked.
“Yea, sure thing,” you replied before heading back into the bedroom.
Entering in Tae’s password and navigating to his messages, you tapped on Jimin’s name and texted a quick, ‘Running late. Be there around 1. Sorry!’. You were just about to set his phone down on the bed beside you when something suddenly caught your eye. A few rows down from the message thread with Jimin was a thread with a contact name that was simply the letter ‘J’. The cryptic name had caused a little knot to form in your stomach, but it was the most recent message this person had sent that instantly had your blood running cold.
Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉
Hating yourself for being that girlfriend who was so insecure that she stooped to the level of snooping, but feeling in your gut that something just wasn’t right, you clicked on that fateful message.
Yesterday
[J 1:29 PM] Are you still stopping by later today?
[Taehyung 1:31 PM] Yea. I’ll be there around 3:00.
[J 1:35 PM] Sounds good. Text me when you’re here and I’ll let you in the back door.
[Taehyung 3:05 PM] Here.
Today
[Taehyung 8:17 AM] Sorry I had to leave so quickly yesterday.
[Taehyung 8:18 AM] I had to take care of something.
[Taehyung 8:19 AM] When can I come by again?
[J 8:20 AM] Friday evening?
[Taehyung 8:21 AM] Works for me.
[J 8:22 AM] Great. I’ll see you then.
[J 8:23 AM] Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉
This time there was no mistaking it. There was nothing to have accidentally forgotten. There was no other possible explanation. The proof was right in front of you sitting heavily in the palm of your shaking hand.
Yesterday afternoon, Tae lied to you.
He lied about where he was.
He lied about who he was with.
He lied about what he was doing.
Jisoo was right.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94
84 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 46 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 3.2k
warnings: none
Chapter 46: Lying To Yourself - Part 1
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
You stood there frozen, your feet rooted to the spot by the crushing weight of the revelation you held in your hand. From the bathroom came the unmistakable sound of Tae singing none other than ‘Sweet Night’, but you sadly found no comfort in the loving words he sang in his rich, baritone voice. Why? Because that same voice blatantly lied to you yesterday and probably last week too, you now realized. Although your mind was currently racing with a million unanswered questions, there was one that clearly stood out above all the rest:
Who was ‘J’?
The answer which immediately came to mind was the most heartbreaking one imaginable: that it was Jisoo. After all, she was the one who pointed out Tae’s ‘forgetfulness’ last week and who also, less than an hour ago, uttered those words which you once thought to be complete nonsense and now realized were frighteningly true:
He’s lying to you.
However, it occurred to you a second later that Tae already had her number saved in his phone under her full name. You had seen it yourself when he showed you his text conversation with her last Sunday. After quickly going back to the list of messages, you found the one with her name a few rows up. Tapping on it, you saw all of their most recent exchanges which were incredibly mundane and transactional.
‘I’m in the parking garage.’
‘Meet you at the café in 10.’
‘Heading to your studio now.’
You momentarily relaxed before it dawned on you that ‘J’ could still be Jisoo texting from another phone. That seemed a bit unbelievable, but up until five minutes ago the idea that Tae had lied about what he did yesterday would have seemed unbelievable too. The ease with which he had led you to believe he was going to the dorms to see the guys was alarming, as was how elaborate his cover up was. He had gone so far as to fabricate an entire conversation he had with them about why he had to leave before ‘dinner’ started.
It made you nauseous to know that you had sent those photos of yourself to him without knowing where he was or what he was doing. But, it made you absolutely sick that you had then allowed yourself to be so physically and emotionally vulnerable with him once he came home. Knowing he had lied and then been intimate with you like that just made you feel so betrayed.
Looking around the very room where you had done those intimate things together and shared those intimate words, you were suddenly overcome with an intense urge to flee, to get as far away from here and him as humanly possible.
So that’s what you did. You fled.
As you sprinted through the apartment, hastily throwing on the clothes you found strewn on the floor as you went, you tried to wrap your head around just how quickly everything had fallen apart. Ten minutes ago you were on top of the world after putting Jisoo in her place and now here you were utterly flailing, questioning everything that had once seemed so certain. You felt so embarrassed, truly mortified, to have put on that show for her only to discover now that she was right: Tae was lying to you.
What exactly he was lying about remained to be seen, but it was clear what Jisoo wanted you to think it was. She had not-so-subtly alluded to it last Friday. Over the weekend you had convinced yourself that she was full of shit, but those texts made it so much harder to continue believing that. You simply could not deny how your stomach churned every time you thought about the last message ‘J’ had sent.
Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉
The rest of their conversation had been very ordinary, almost business-like, but that message changed the tone entirely. It was so overtly suggestive that it was impossible to read those words and not imagine the worst. And that’s exactly what you were doing right now: imagining the worst.
Tae secretly going to her apartment yesterday afternoon. The two of them together on the couch, her straddling him and grinding against him as his hands wandered over her body and they devoured each other. How they might have been just moments away from moving to the bedroom when your texts interrupted them. How he would have sighed in frustration when he realized he’d have to go home and ‘take care of you’ so you wouldn’t be suspicious. How much he was probably looking forward to going back to her on Friday so they could ‘finish what they started’ and go all the way.
The thought of Tae cheating on you made your heart ache with such excruciating pain that by the time you reached the apartment door you were sobbing and hyperventilating. You didn’t know where you were going to go or what you were going to do. All you knew was that you needed to go somewhere, do something to make the hurting stop.
Your hand was literally on the doorknob, about to turn it so you could make your escape, when suddenly you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket. Pulling it out, you realized that it actually wasn’t your phone, but Tae’s. In your haste to flee the apartment, you had accidentally taken it with you instead of your own. Unable to contain your curiosity, you glanced down at the screen through tear-filled eyes to find a new message from Jimin.
[Jimin 12:38 PM] Sounds good. Also, as soon as you get here I want to hear how yesterday went. You never texted me afterwards!
Upon reading those words, the vice that had been steadily tightening around your lungs and threatening to suffocate you loosened ever so slightly. Closing your eyes and relaxing your shoulders, you allowed yourself to breathe a tiny, hesitant sigh of relief. Jimin was one of the most kind, loyal, wonderful people you had ever met in your entire life. Tae loved and respected him more than anyone in the whole world. If Jimin knew what Tae was doing, and was asking about it all excitedly, then there was no way it involved Jisoo in an inappropriate way.
Right?
With this new piece of the puzzle in place, you began considering all new possibilities for what Tae might be doing and why he might not be telling you about it. Maybe it was something Jimin or one of the other guys asked him to keep private. Maybe it was something BTS-related that he wasn’t able to share with you yet. Maybe it was something about his upcoming mixtape. Maybe he wrote you another song that was meant to be a surprise. Maybe it was your Christmas present. Whatever it was, if Jimin was on board with it then it must be OK.
Right?
You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the sound of little footsteps coming up behind you. Turning around, you were met with the sight of Tannie staring up at you with his adorably angry eyes. As you looked down at him, you had a flashback to the day you overheard Tae in the kitchen on the phone. You remembered how truly devastated he was when he realized you had allowed yourself to believe he was using you for sex. You remembered how broken he looked as he laid there beside you, the way his tears slowly trickled down his beautiful face. You remembered that you had almost ruined everything by accusing him of something without knowing all the facts.
Were you now about to make that exact same mistake? Were you jumping to conclusions, yet again, and letting your fears and Jisoo’s manipulative words cloud your judgement? Or, were your worries and suspicions valid? Should you tell Tae you went through his messages and confront him about what you discovered, a choice which would almost certainly reveal that you were questioning his faithfulness? Or, should you say nothing? Should you trust that whatever he was doing and whatever reasons he had for not telling you about it, he loved you unconditionally, was wholly committed to your relationship, and would never do anything to hurt you?
The weight of all of those unanswered questions was absolutely crushing. It was all just too much. You were so terribly confused, so painfully conflicted. Every choice you considered making somehow seemed to be the wrong one. No matter what you did, someone would get hurt. You just felt so trapped. Trapped by your contract and the forbidden nature of your relationship. Trapped by the fake dating cover and your dependency on Jisoo. Trapped by your own insecurity and inability to understand or communicate your thoughts and feelings.  
Slumping against the door and sliding down to the floor in a heap, you let out a strangled, frustrated sob. Tannie immediately picked up on your distress, climbed onto your lap, and began trying to comfort you with kisses.
“I don’t know what to do, Tannie,” you cried into his fur as you held him close. “I just don’t know what to do.”
After sitting there with him for a few more minutes, you ultimately came to the realization that you were not in the right state of mind to make any sort of decision about what to do moving forward. At the moment, you were totally overwhelmed and not thinking straight, still reeling from the roller coaster of emotions you’d experienced in the last hour. What you needed more than anything was to take a step back and get yourself together. You needed time and space to think through everything and figure out how you really felt before you said or did something you might one day regret.
Slowly, you got up off the floor and quietly crept back to the bedroom to find Tae miraculously still in the shower. You dropped his phone down onto the bed, grabbed your own, and then opened the bathroom door just a bit. Speaking through the crack so he couldn’t see your tear stained face, you told him Eunji had called saying Mrs. Choi was looking for you and that you needed to head back immediately. He bought your lie easily, saying it was actually a good idea for you to return at different times. You said goodbye, told him you loved him, and then left for Big Hit.
You spent the rest of the day on edge and in a daze, trying desperately to sort through the tangled mess inside your head. Tae was busy with meetings and rehearsal which you were so thankful for; there was absolutely no way you would be able to keep it together if he was there with you in the studio. Although you held back any tears that threatened to fall, you spent all afternoon teetering on the edge of a breakdown. Several times Mrs. Choi came over to you asking if everything was OK and each time you replied with the same, ‘I’m fine’. You got the sense she wasn’t buying it, but thankfully she did not press you further.
As the initial shock of discovering Tae’s deception began to slowly wear off, you found you were able to think more rationally about the situation. With every passing second, your belief that Jisoo was the true root of the problem grew stronger. While there was no way for her to have known you would stumble upon that text conversation, you had no doubt she was hoping you would catch Tae in a lie at some point and get the wrong idea. The fact that she knew he was working on something private and was manipulating the situation to make it seem like he was cheating was truly sickening. Her behavior demonstrated a whole new level of cruelty, one that was incredibly disturbing and honestly frightening.
There was a part of you that wanted to tell Tae about Jisoo’s scheming, but deep down you were still terrified that doing so might do more harm than good. Other than the night of your nightmare, Tae had never once acknowledged that anything he did as part of the fake dating cover could lead you to question his faithfulness. Did that not occur to him because the idea of cheating was something he couldn’t even fathom? Could he truly be so committed and devoted to you, so trusting in your love and the strength of your relationship, that it never even crossed his mind that you might have doubts? You wanted so desperately for that to be true and the more you thought about Tae’s genuine, innocent nature, the more convinced you were that it was.
It was for this very reason, though, that you were so weary of even hinting at this devastating accusation. If you leveled it against him, you could never take it back. There was not a doubt in your mind that it would crush him to know you’d had these terrible thoughts about him. Even if Jisoo was the one who put them there in the first place, you still feared he might never be able to look at you the same if you told him. You feared he would forever doubt your trust in him and that your relationship would never fully recover.
Despite all that, though, you could not ignore the flickers of doubt and fear that lingered all afternoon in the dark corners of your mind. They were there, threatening to derail your every thought, and you knew they would remain there until you spoke with Tae about what he was hiding. By the time you got home you had finally come to a decision about what to do. You would take the rest of the week to settle down and then confront him on Friday, the next time he went to meet with ‘J’. You wouldn’t mention Jisoo or the texts, you would just ask him point blank where he was really going, give him a chance to explain, and hope that the conversation that followed would put to rest any of your remaining worries.
All you needed to do was just stay calm and act natural until then. You needed to take time to think through what you wanted to say to Tae and how you wanted to say it. That way you could relay your thoughts and concerns without accusing him, hurting him, and making the situation worse. If you could just kept it together for the next few days and have a rational discussion with him on Friday, everything would be OK.
Sadly, though, you soon came to realize just how difficult a task that would prove to be. 
When Tae got home a little while later, you were in the bedroom about to change out of your work clothes. You were so lost in thought, once again pondering the days’ unsettling events, that you didn’t hear him come into the room. Before you even knew what was happening, he was wrapping his arms around you from behind in an intimate embrace.
“Is my muse ready?” he hummed in your ear before placing a little kiss on your neck.
The instant you felt his touch, you flinched. It wasn’t subtle either; your entire body violently recoiled. A second later, as your mind involuntarily filled with awful thoughts of where else his hands and lips might have been, you instinctively stepped forward and tore yourself away from him. For the next few moments you just stood there, eyes screwed shut as you tried to calm your racing heart. You truly had not meant to react that way, but you just couldn’t help it. The heartbreaking truth, a truth which was so hard to admit to yourself, but impossible to deny, was that the first thing you felt when he touched you like that was panic.
Your unease grew exponentially when you realized what he was referring to when he called you his ‘muse’: the photoshoot in your lingerie. Just this morning you had been as eager as he was to do it, but after everything that had happened today, and with all of the questions and doubts still swirling in your head, the idea of being that vulnerable with him was just unthinkable. What was even more distressing, though, was that the very thought of being intimate with him in any capacity made you unbearably uncomfortable.
Slowly turning to face him, you found him wearing a completely shocked and undeniably wounded expression. At the sight of him standing there, looking so broken, your heart plummeted in your chest. You hated yourself for hurting him, the man you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with, but the feelings inside you right now were so overwhelming they just couldn’t be ignored. There were no two ways around it; you didn’t trust him right now. Not fully, not like you once did, not enough to give yourself to him again.
“Jagi?” he asked quietly as he looked at you expectantly.
“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered out, praying he couldn’t tell how nervous you were right now. “You just surprised me.”
“And, I’m...I’m just not feeling that well right now,” you then added weakly.
It was a blatant lie, but you had no idea what else to say. You were confused and terrified by your own feelings, and were nowhere near ready to try and talk about them, but you needed some sort of explanation for what was happening.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked tenderly, his expression instantly morphing to one of concern.
“I have a headache and I feel a little nauseous,” you said hesitantly, hating yourself more and more with every insincere word that left your lips.
“When did this start?” he then questioned, the worry now deeply etched on his face.
“This afternoon,” you replied as you averted your eyes from his intense gaze.
“I'll be fine,” you then added, trying to diffuse the situation. “I just need to rest a little.”
He was quiet for a few moments as he studied you rather intently, his dark eyes searching yours as a look of slight suspicion flashed across his face. For a split second you thought he was going to call you out and ask what was really wrong, but then his expression softened.
“OK, if you’re sure,” was all he finally said as he tentatively brought his hands up to rest on your upper arms.
It took an enormous amount of self control, but you didn’t shudder at his touch. As he began gently rubbing his thumbs back and forth, you tried to relax and allow yourself to be comforted by the gesture that you knew was meant to be soothing.
“Why don’t you put on some comfy clothes and get cozy on the couch?” he then suggested. “I’ll make you dinner and then we can cuddle and watch something?”
“OK,” you agreed with a tight-lipped smile. “That sounds good”.
He gave you a hesitant smile in return before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. Blinking back tears as you watched him then turn around and walk away, you tried to convince yourself that everything was going to be OK. These feelings you had towards him were just temporary. They were the lingering effects of your body’s earlier flight or fight response, but they would subside.
Right?
‘This is Tae, my Tae’, you told yourself as a single tear escaped and rolled down your cheek.
He loves me.
I love him.
We’ll be OK.
Right?
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @barbsburger @jakiki94  @taeyohonic
79 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 26 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 3.6k
warnings: cursing, making out, some light touching, SO MUCH TEASING
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Chapter 26: Such A Tease
As you stood off to the side on set later that day watching the guys run through the choreography, you simply could not calm your racing heart. Your smile, the one that had been plastered on your face since the moment Tae left your room that morning, felt like a scarlet letter. It’s not that there was anything inherently wrong with grinning from ear to ear for hours at a time, but Tae had been sporting the same exact expression all day.
People had immediately noticed his change in demeanor and performance from the previous day. Son Sung Deuk had simply complimented him, noting how focused he seemed and how sharp his movements were, but the guys were less subtle in pointing out Tae’s altered state. While you were touching up his hair after they’d filmed the first couple scenes, Jungkook strolled over and straight up called him out.
“Alright, what are you on right now?” Jungkook asked jokingly. “Yesterday you were a mess, but today your dancing is better than Hobi-hyung’s.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tae said, his smile somehow growing even larger.
“That. That right there,” the younger man said, pointing directly at Tae’s face. “Why are you so smiley today?”
“I just really love this song,” Tae said with a laugh.
Your heart skipped a beat at the potential double meaning of his words.
“And, I really love this green suit Y/N picked out for me,” he added cheekily a second later. “I don’t know what it is, but people always look extremely attractive in green.”
You bit back a laugh and hoped that Jungkook couldn’t see how much you were blushing right now. When he left a few minutes later, you gave Tae the sternness glare you could muster, which probably was not all that threatening, but all he gave you in return was a knowing smirk.
An hour or so later you were in one of the trailers organizing the outfits the guys would be wearing next when Tae walked in with a mischievous look on his face.
“Kim Taehyung, are you following me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.
“I most certainly am not,” he said in mock defense as he scanned the room and hastily picked up a hair dryer sitting on the table. “I came here for this hair dryer.”
“Your hair isn’t wet,” you said, trying to hold back a smile as you folded your arms over your chest and gave him a dubious look.
“Ahh, you’re right. It’s not,” he said as he set the hair dryer down. “I guess I don’t need it after all.”
“But, since I’m here anyway, I might as well give you this,” he then said with a smirk as he leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek.
“Tae!” you scolded, the big, silly grin you were now sporting making it obvious you were anything but angry. “You can’t do stuff like that.”
“Jagi, no one else is in here,” he replied calmly, giving you a shy smile.
“Well, you’re also being way too obvious out there,” you then added somewhat seriously.
“Obvious about what?” he asked innocently.
“Obvious about the fact that I woke up this morning with a beautiful woman in my arms? Or that I then got to make out with said beautiful woman?” he went on teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at you in such a ridiculous way that you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Or,” he continued, suddenly sounding much more serious. “Is it too obvious that I am the happiest man in South Korea, perhaps even the entire world?”
As he said this, he took your hands. He brought each one up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss to your fingertips, just like he did that night on the roof.
“You make me so happy, Y/N,” he said, giving you his big, boxy grin. “I just can’t hide it.”
“You make me happy too, Tae,” you replied, smiling back at him with so much love in your heart you thought for sure it might explode.
“But, could you please just try to look slightly less ridiculously happy?” you asked with a laugh as you let go of his hands and turned back to the rack of clothes. “Maybe throw in a frown every once in a while?”
“I will try,” he replied seriously before his face broke out into another smile. “But, I cannot make any promises.”
You were about to then shoo him out so you could get some actual work done, when suddenly he spoke up again.
“Can I please just have one kiss before I go back out there?” he asked sweetly, giving you his puppy dog eyes. “It’s been like 6 whole hours since I last kissed you and that’s just too long.”
You looked over at him and, for perhaps the millionth time in your life, thought to yourself that he was entirely too charming for his own good.
“One kiss,” you said sternly.
You pulled him into a corner in the back of the trailer behind the clothing racks where you couldn’t be seen from the door or any of the windows. Gripping the vest of his green suit, you drew him in for what you thought would be one quick kiss. You were fooling yourself, though, for thinking that would be enough to satiate either of you. One kiss turned into two which then turned into three...
“I thought you said just one,” he pulled back to say with a smirk.
“You’re right, I did. We should sto-,” you started, but were cut off when Tae’s lips crashed back onto yours.
Before you knew it, he had an arm wrapped around your lower back holding you tightly to him, the other bracing against the wall behind you. His kisses were deep and passionate and you found yourself utterly lost in them as all rational thought left you. You should not be doing this with him right now, here on the set of a fucking BTS music video, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
You were cursing yourself for dressing him in this green suit that made him sinfully irresistible when suddenly he broke the kiss. Instead of pulling away, though, he began trailing kisses down your jawline and onto your neck.
“I’ve always wanted to kiss you here,” he said a moment later before his lips latched onto the sensitive spot just below your ear.
“Fuck, Tae,” you breathed out, trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that what he was doing felt so good. “D-Don’t leave marks.”
“I won’t, Jagi,” he assured you before pulling back to give you a wicked smile. “At least not where anyone else can see.”
You were on the verge of losing it, wondering where exactly on your body he planned on hiding his kisses, when suddenly you heard the sound of Namjoon’s voice calling out Tae’s name somewhere outside the trailer.
“Shit, I’ve got to go,” he said, immediately letting go of you. He gave you another quick peck, flashed you an adorable smile, and then sprinted out of the trailer.
Fucking Kim Taehyung and his duality
He would come in here acting all sweet and innocent, get you all worked up with his hot neck kisses, and then have to leave. After taking a few minutes to compose yourself, and finish organizing the clothes, you casually strolled out of the trailer, determined not to let anyone, especially Tae, know just how tightly you were wrapped around his finger.
~~~
Shooting didn't wrap up until almost 8:30 PM and the buses didn’t get back to the hotel until after 9:00 PM. On top of that, for reasons you would never understand, the guys were scheduled to do a VLive starting at 10:00 PM.
It had been a long day and you knew Tae was exhausted; he and the rest of the guys had literally been on the floor once the final scenes were filmed. You didn’t want to bother him, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted more than anything for him to stay with you again. It just felt so wonderful falling asleep and waking up in his arms. Unsure how to ask, or even broach the subject, you were in the process of rewriting a text to him for the umpteenth time when you received one from him.  
[Taehyung 9:23 PM] So I was thinking. We got to bed so late last night that I’m not sure I can count it as giving you a full night of cuddles. I think I might still owe you…
He wanted to stay with you again too
And, just like that you were that person smiling down at your phone like an idiot.
[9:24 PM] Hmm you’re right. According to my calculations, you definitely still owe me. Would you like to pay off your debt tonight?
[Taehyung 9:25 PM] Yes. Absolutely.
[Taehyung 9:26 PM] We still have this VLive at 10, though, so I might not be there until pretty late. I don’t want to keep you up. I know you must be tired. You worked so hard today.
You had worked really hard today. Mrs. Choi had made sure of that. The fact that he noted this, even though he and the rest of the guys clearly worked even harder, was just so sweet.
[9:28 PM] I don’t mind if it’s late. I could maybe give you one of my room keys? Just in case I fall asleep? That way you don’t have to wait in the hallway.
[Taehyung 9:29 PM] OK, that sounds good. I’ll stop by to get it in like 15 minutes.
[9:30 PM] OK 😊
With a sudden burst of diabolical inspiration about how to get back at Tae for his shenanigans in the trailer, you suddenly leapt to your feet and strode over to your suitcase. After rummaging around in it for a minute or so, you finally found what you were looking for: the black lace bra and panties you may or may not have bought specifically for this trip. You hastily put them on and then threw Tae’s hoodie on over top.
A few minutes later, you were eagerly watching through the peephole of your door, its many locks already undone. As soon as you saw him come into view, you yanked the door open and he quickly slipped inside. You closed the door and turned to find him staring at you, his gaze fixed on your barely covered legs.
He didn't say a word, he simply walked over to you, slowly backing you against the wall in the process. Cupping your cheeks, he brought his lips to yours for a slow, sensual kiss that had you almost forgetting your plan entirely. After a minute, he dropped his hands from your face and gently ran them down your sides.
“What are you wearing underneath this?” he asked softly as he toyed with the hem of his hoodie.
“I’ll let you find out for yourself,” you replied flirtatiously. “But, there’s a catch.”
“You can look or you can touch, but you cannot do both,” you went on, biting your lower lip seductively like you’d seen him do countless times before.
Without hesitating, he put his hands on the sides of your bare legs. After watching your reaction to make sure that was OK with you, he then slowly began running them upwards and underneath his hoodie. Higher and higher he went, well past the point where a pair of shorts would have sat, until finally his fingers brushed the delicate fabric.
“Fuck,” he breathed out.
“You seemed to really like my lace dress,” you whispered in his ear. “I thought you might like these too.”
For a moment he was still, utterly transfixed by the feeling of the thin, lacy band beneath his fingertips, but he soon began running his fingers back and forth along the fabric, his touch light and gentle and ever so slightly hesitant. When he slid his hands backward, his eyes went wide when he felt how cheeky the panties were, how little they actually covered and how they perfectly hugged the curve of your ass. When he then slipped his hands to the front and trailed his fingers over the little bow just below your navel, he swore again under his breath.
“Do you like them?” you asked innocently, now looking up at him with big doe eyes.
“I fucking love them,” he all but whispered.
“Do you wear things like this every day?” he then asked in a low, husky voice as he continued to play with the bow, gently pulling it and letting the band snap back softly against your skin.
“Only for special occasions,” you replied, trying to sound casual despite the fact that having his hands on you like this was driving you wild.
“Good,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ll never be able to focus at work if I know you’re wearing these.”
“Well in that case, maybe I will start wearing them to the studio,” you then said coyly.
He pulled back to look at you and you saw something dark flash across his beautiful features.
“Now you’re just being a tease,” he said with a sternness that shot right through you.
“You’ve always been such a tease,” he went on. “Wearing those loose shirts that you know I can see down or that one skin-tight pair of dark jeans that make this look incredible.”
As he said that last part, he slid both hands backward again to palm your ass and give it a light squeeze. He then kept them there, his fingers slowly tracing the outline of the lace. If you didn’t already have a kink for his hands, you most certainly did now. You simply could not get over how fucking huge they were; he could literally cup your entire cheek in one hand.
“You knew I couldn’t have you, but you made me want you anyway,” he continued as he brought his hands back to your sides and then dipped his fingers beneath the lacy band. He then began trailing them back and forth along your hips, each time coming a little further forward, a little closer to where you most wanted them.
“You can have me now,” you whispered, now incredibly turned on and well aware of the fact that he was definitely the one teasing you.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s time for that,” he said regretfully, giving you a devilish smirk before removing his hands from you entirely. “Our VLive starts in 5 minutes.”
You pouted at him, folding your arms across your chest.
“Don’t give me that face. You started this,” he teased before placing a light kiss on your pouty lips.
“But, I really do have to go now,” he then said seriously, looking genuinely disappointed, as he brought his hand up to gently caress your cheek. “I’ll see you later tonight, OK?”
“OK,” you replied as your pout morphed into a shy smile.    
He gave you another quick peck, took the spare key from you, and was about to open the door to leave when suddenly he turned back around. In the blink of an eye his lips were back on yours for a brief, but incredibly intense kiss.
“Just so you know, it’s not the lace, Jagi,” he said after releasing your lips. “It’s you in the lace.”
With that, he finally left your room, leaving you rooted to the spot, smiling like a fool, and blushing from head to toe.
~~~
It was almost midnight by the time he came to your room. You had been teetering on the edge of sleep for the last hour, trying desperately to stay awake so you could see him. The moment you heard the door unlock, though, you were wide awake. You heard him shuffle into the room, heard the unmistakable sound of him unzipping his jeans and removing his outer layers of clothing, and then heard him call out to you.
“Y/N?” Tae whispered.
“No, it’s Mrs. Choi,” you replied, biting back a laugh.
“Oh god, don’t even joke about that,” he said back as he climbed onto the bed.
“I might leave now just because you said that,” he went on, though, as he said this he was already slipping under the covers.
“You’re not going to leave,” you said smugly, turning to face him. “You want my cuddles.”
“I do want them,” he admitted with a laugh as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you flush against him. “I need them, actually.”
He leaned in to kiss you then, but this kiss was much different than the urgent, hungry ones you’d shared that morning and throughout in the day. This kiss was slow and sweet, passionate too, but not as if it was meant to lead anywhere. It felt like he was kissing you simply for the sake of kissing you and being close to you, not because he wanted anything from you, which you appreciated so much.
It’s not that you didn't want to do more with him physically, because you definitely did, especially after all the teasing you two did today, but you didn’t want your entire relationship to be centered on that. It meant the world to you that he seemed to feel the same, that he came here tonight not with an agenda or expectations, but to truly just be with you.
“I loved waking up next to you this morning,” he said once you parted, sounding so sincere. “I wish you were the first thing I saw every day.”
If anyone else had said this, you would have worried it was some sort of practiced line, but this was Tae. You knew he wasn’t like that. He simply said whatever came to mind in the moment and what he was thinking right now were the most adorable, wonderful thoughts.
“You’re making me blush,” you said shyly as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. “You can’t see it because it’s dark, but I am.”
“I love making you blush,” he teased.
“I remember the first time I ever said you looked cute you turned the prettiest shade of pink,” he went on. As he spoke, you could just hear the smile in his voice.
“Stop,” you whined. “I’m going to die of embarrassment.”
“It would be my pleasure to revive you via mouth-to-mouth,” he said back smoothly.
You burst out laughing. “If the embarrassment doesn’t kill me, your cheesy pickup lines will.”
“Well then we should start planning your funeral now because they are only going to get cheesier,” he replied before he too started to laugh.
The two of you then spent the next hour talking and giggling and, yes, occasionally locking lips. You knew you should have gone to bed right away, the second day of the shoot was starting in just a couple hours, but you were far too excited to sleep. It just felt like you guys had too much to catch up on, too much lost time to start making up for, to waste a single moment on sleep.
As it neared 1:00 AM, and you were finally starting to get sleepy, it dawned on you that being here with him on a trip like this was actually such a tease. In the hotel you had relatively easy access to each other with your rooms being just a floor apart. Since Big Hit had actually gone ahead and rented out the entire hotel, you didn’t have to worry about being spotted by fans or the media or any other random people. You obviously had to be careful about being seen by other members of the BTS team, but they weren’t specifically watching Tae’s every move like many people would be outside the hotel. Even in the trailer, where you were literally on set with the entire rest of the team, you had been able to get some privacy.
Back in Seoul, once you returned to normal life, things would undoubtedly be different. You wouldn’t get any privacy at Big Hit; there would be no closed, locked doors to hide behind. You could still spend time together in the studio, but it would have to be in a strictly platonic capacity. If you wanted to actually see each other, you would have to go to each others’ apartments, which was easier said than done. Tae lived in a gated apartment complex that was under constant surveillance by security as well as by the media and sasaeng fans. You lived in a random apartment building that would be extremely difficult for him to visit without being followed or recognized.
You suddenly found yourself feeling rather anxious about everything, wondering what exactly you’d gotten yourself into and how you were supposed to make it all work.
“Tae,” you called out softly, almost nervously, after you’d flipped around to get ready to actually go to sleep. “What happens when we get home?”
“We figure it out together,” he said simply, seeming to know exactly what you were asking, as he gathered you in his arms and pulled you close.
“OK,” you replied, his quiet confidence already making you feel infinitely better.
“Goodnight, Tae,” you said a moment later.
“Goodnight, Jagi,” he replied, once again giving your shoulder a little kiss.
You took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then closed your eyes.
You'll figure it out together
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List:
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan
149 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 27 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 4.0k
warnings: cursing, heavy petting, mentions of character death
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Chapter 27: The Real World
Seventeen days.
It had been seventeen days since you had last been with Tae in any meaningful capacity. Seventeen days since you had last been alone with him. Seventeen days since he had last held you in his arms. Seventeen days since you had last felt his lips on yours.
It had been the longest seventeen days of your life.
Figuring things out back in the real world was infinitely harder than either of you imagined it would be. Over the course of just those three days at the Dynamite music video shoot, you two had managed to completely destroy the emotional dam you had spent the previous three years carefully constructing. Everything was now pouring out, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it, but it was all just flowing into the abyss since you couldn’t actually be together.
Having to act normal and casual everyday at work like nothing between you two had changed was incredibly difficult and honestly painful. You wanted to openly comfort him when he was stressed or upset. You wanted to hold his hand or hug him when you were having a bad day. You wanted to give him a kiss hello when you first saw him every morning and kiss goodbye before you left for the night. In a million ways you wanted to be close to him and show him affection, but you couldn’t and it was absolutely killing you.
If you had been able to see him outside of work it would have made the façade you had to uphold at work more bearable, but you couldn’t even do that. With the single coming out in just a few weeks, the full album being released not long after, and a month-long promotional trip to America scheduled to kick off days after the album was released, the guys’ schedule was busier than ever. Every single day, including weekends, was jam-packed with dance practice, vocal coaching, performance rehearsals, interview filming, photoshoots, meetings to finalize album details and the promotional tour, and so much more.
Most nights, Tae wasn’t finishing up work until almost 8:00 or 9:00, but that wasn’t even the worst part. Immediately after filming for the Dynamite music video had wrapped up, the decision had been made that the guys would all be living back in the dorm for the time being. This was done partly to keep everyone focused during the final stretch of the comeback, but mostly to keep everyone on the same schedule and make travel more convenient. Even Namjoon, who was married, and Jin, who was engaged, were staying there most nights of the week. Jimin and Hobi got to leave once a week to stay with their girlfriends, but since Tae obviously couldn’t tell anyone you two were together, he had no legitimate excuse to stay back at his own apartment.
You two texted all the time, and he called or Facetimed you whenever he could without being overheard by one of the guys, but it just wasn’t enough. You found yourself missing him constantly, longing for him in a way you never had before. You missed him even when he was right in front of you at work because, even though he was so close, he still felt so far away. You always missed him most at night, though, a feeling which you knew went both ways.
[Taehyung 2:14 AM] I miss you so much, Jagi.
[Taehyung 2:14 AM] I can’t sleep without you.
[Taehyung 2:15 AM] I just want to hold you again and wake up beside you.
You had woken up to those text messages one morning and immediately felt a literal pain in your chest because you felt the exact same way. Even though he had only stayed with you twice, you found yourself feeling unimaginably lonely each night without his arms around you.
You just wanted to be with him. To spend time with him as a couple, however unofficial that title was. To talk to him without having to filter and censor everything you said. To love hearing him call you Jagi, not worry constantly about that word slipping out of his mouth around someone else. To watch a movie or cook dinner or stay in your pajamas all day together. To laugh and be playful and flirty without someone yelling at you to stop. To cuddle and kiss and be intimate.
The abundance of physical contact you’d gotten during those three days, and subsequent absence of it these last two plus weeks, had left you desperately craving him, absolutely starving for his touch. You had obviously always found Tae insanely attractive, had always desired to be with him, but previously that had only been in a theoretical, abstract sense. Now, though, the concept of being with him was real, never more so than the second day of filming for the Dynamite music video, the last time the two of you had been truly alone together.
The morning had begun innocently; you had woken up first in his warm embrace and then proceeded to pepper his face with tiny kisses until his lips curled up into a shy smile and his eyes opened a few moments later. Shortly after that, you began sharing slow, tender morning kisses, ones that made you completely forget that a world existed outside of the bed you were sharing. However, when you casually mentioned that the lace panties from the day before came with a matching bra he unfortunately didn’t discover, the situation escalated quickly. The kisses became more passionate, his hands began wandering underneath your tank top, and the next thing you knew, you were on top of him, straddling his hips.
From that new position you could easily kiss his deliciously thick neck, something you had literally dreamed of doing for years. You began just below his ear, smiling to yourself when he cursed over how good it felt to be kissed there, and then worked your way down to his broad chest. As you covered his body with kisses, you began rolling your hips, subtly at first, but more purposefully once you saw, heard, and felt just how much he loved it. He brought his hands to your hips to help guide you back and forth over himself, but you were clearly in charge, slowing down and speeding up at will just to relish in how needy he grew beneath you.
It was all fun and games teasing him like that until he suddenly used those big muscles of his to flip your positions, the overt display of dominance being something you found incredibly sexy. Now on top and in control, it took him no time at all to discover how sensitive you were, the small gasp you let out when he applied just a bit of pressure with his hips bringing a smirk to his lips. You knew you were in trouble when he shifted slightly and brought his thigh between your legs. As he began slowly grinding into you, he hungrily swallowed the string of curses and small whimpers that left your lips.
Were it not for your ‘15 minutes until bus departure’ warning alarm going off a minute later, you’ve no doubt he would have soon had you coming undone. So enthralled with the way your body was responding to him, he didn’t even hear the beeping at first. He simply kept going, kept on whispering sweet nothings and praises into your ear as he slowly rocked his hips. You had half a mind to ignore the alarm and your responsibilities entirely and let him continue, that’s how good he was making you feel. However, you used all your willpower to gently push him off of you, telling him if you two didn’t stop now, you were literally never going to be able to leave the bed.
Had you known that the passionate kiss you shared just before he left your room was the last one you were going to get for a while, you would have made it last a little longer, would have savored it just a bit more.
~~~
Today, the seventeenth day since you’d last been with Tae, was significant for two reasons.
First, it was the day of the new album’s concept photoshoot. A shoot like this was always important, but this one was especially so because Tae was serving as the Visual Director. Taking on this role was a huge opportunity for him to showcase his many other artistic skills outside of singing, dancing, and performing. You were so proud of all the hard work he had put into planning everything and knew how nervous he was for the photoshoot to go smoothly. Even if you couldn’t show your support the way you wanted to, you were still determined to be there for him throughout the day, which is partly why you didn’t tell him the other reason why today was significant: that it was the five year anniversary of your mother’s death.
You had been thinking about her a lot lately, mostly wishing you could talk to her about what was happening with Tae. You wanted her advice and guidance, her assurance that you following your heart right now wasn’t the biggest mistake of your life. If anyone could have helped you navigate through the challenges you were facing now, and would surely face in the future, it would have been her.
In previous years, you had taken this day off to be with your dad and your sisters. You would visit her grave together and then relax at home cooking her favorite dinner and watching her favorite movies. But this year, with it falling on the exact same day as a major photoshoot, you just couldn’t swing it. You honestly hadn’t even tried to ask Mrs. Choi about taking the day off; you knew all she would have done was make you feel guilty and question your commitment. Your family had understood, though, and the four of you had made plans to remember her together over the weekend.
When you told Tae the story about your mom, you had mentioned she passed in late summer, but never told him the specific day. Over the last few weeks you had gone back and forth about whether or not to tell him today was that day, but had ultimately decided it would be best not to. You didn’t want him to feel guilty that you had to be working when you would have otherwise been with your family and also didn’t want to stress him more on his big day. More than that, though, you were afraid of how he would act if he knew. You worried that he would be unable to stay on his side of the invisible line you two drew between yourselves at work, that he would be too affectionate and protective and would inadvertently give you two away.
The day had started off OK. The shoot was taking place not far from Big Hit at an indoor studio where the set had been constructed. Being somewhere new was a welcome distraction and it was busy enough throughout the morning that your mind stayed relatively occupied. Tae still realized something was off right away which shouldn’t have been a surprise. He eyed you curiously the whole time you were doing his hair and makeup and asked no less than fifty times some variation of ‘Are you OK?’. You just smiled back at him, though, and assured him you were fine, just a little tired perhaps, which you hoped he believed.
However, as the day went on, it became harder and harder to focus and keep it together. Your mind began drifting elsewhere, to thoughts of your mom both before and after she got sick, to the dark days that followed her passing, to all the questions you wished you could ask her right now. At one point, after you had looked up to find Tae looking at you from across the room, a slightly concerned expression on his face, the thought that she would never get to meet him crossed your mind and you got momentarily choked up; she would have loved him.
Eventually, it all became a bit too overwhelming so you stepped off to the side of the set and pulled out your phone. Hoping to take your mind off things with some mindless social media scrolling, you opened up Instagram, but the first photo you saw stopped your heart. It was you and your sisters and your mom, smiling together at the beach, your dad’s shadow as he held the camera just barely in the frame. Your younger sister had posted it earlier that day along with what you were sure was an incredibly heartfelt message that you absolutely did not have the stomach to read right now.
It was one of your absolute favorite photos, a memory from a truly wonderful day before everything changed, but it was not something you were prepared to see just now. At once, you felt the all too familiar closing of your throat and stinging behind your eyes, telltale signs that you might start sobbing at any moment, but you forced yourself to shove your feelings down. Now was not the time to have a complete and utter breakdown.
Stopping by the lunch table to grab a coffee, the caffeinated beverage ironically always helped you relax, you headed back to the prep room to try and calm down. As you turned into the room, you saw none other than Tae standing at one of the mirrors. He was fiddling with one of his earrings, happily humming one of the songs from the upcoming album, but when his gaze met yours through the reflection his smile immediately faded. In an instant, he was crossing the room to you, worry etched all over his features.
“Jagi,” he whispered as he leaned in close. “Please talk to me.”
Just hearing his voice and having him near was almost enough to break the dam. You wanted nothing more than to be in his embrace right now, to hear all the sweet words of comfort you know he would give to you.
“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded when you didn't respond.
“I’m fine, Tae,” you said back, your lower lip trembling.
“No you’re not,” he said, sounding so distraught. “Something is wrong. Something has been wrong all day.”
“Did I do something to upset you?” he then questioned fearfully.
You shook your head at him, silently willing him to stop asking questions before you completely lost it.
“Do you not feel well?” he then asked, sounding more worried than ever. “Did someone say or do something to hurt you?”
“Tae, I’m fine,” you replied. You tried to say it calmly, but when your voice broke on the word ‘fine’, Tae’s eyes went wide in alarm.
He instinctively reached out to put his arms around you, but your hands immediately shot up to stop him, the coffee cup flying out of your grasp in the process. It fell directly onto Tae’s white shirt and then crashed to the floor. Looking first to the complete mess on the ground and then to the massive stain on his shirt, your composure finally cracked.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” you said as tears welled up in your eyes. “I ruined your shirt and you haven’t finished shooting yet.”
“Jagi, it’s OK. It's just a shirt. Really, it’s not impor-,” Tae started before being cut off by Mrs. Choi’s shrill voice.
“Y/N, what have you done?” she asked venomously, coming from somewhere in the room where you didn’t realize she had been standing.
You looked up at her, saw her angry, disgusted expression, and immediately shrunk into yourself. If it was any other day you could have handled her, could have brushed off her attack, but not today.
“You’ve ruined an outfit that cost thousands of dollars and jeopardized the whole photoshoot,” she then said snidely, answering her own question. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“I’m sorry,” was all you could manage, your voice barely above a whisper.
“You have been distracted and careless all day long,” she continued as she stared daggers into you.
“I’m not even surprised something like this happened, though,” she went on, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “You are always distracted and careless. You never focus or take your work seriously. Honestly, you are a complete disgrace to this-”
“Enough!” Tae suddenly said, cutting her off sharply as he turned to face her.
Mrs. Choi blanched, having never heard Tae use such a tone with her or anyone else for that matter.
“For the last three years you have been dismissive, overly critical, and downright rude to Y/N and I will not tolerate it anymore,” he said heatedly. “You may be the stylist’s manager, but she is my stylist and I will not let you speak to her this way.”
“Your constant beratement is not only unprofessional, but completely unfounded. The quality of her work is excellent; she is talented and hardworking and extremely dedicated to our team,” he continued as he shifted in front of you slightly, shielding you from her.
“Just look at what she did with the Dynamite music video. Everyone was so impressed with her concept idea, and saw how hard she worked, but you never once complimented her or appreciated her efforts. All you did was criticize her and belittle her and make her doubt herself,” he then added angrily.
For a moment it looked like Mrs. Choi was going to say something in reply, but before she could get a word out Tae continued.
“What happened just now was an accident that I clearly caused,” he said, gesturing to the mess on the floor. “If you would have taken two seconds to stop yelling at her and talk to us you would have realized that.”
“But, more importantly, if you had been paying attention at all today to the stylists you’re supposed to be managing you would have realized hours ago that she has been extremely upset about something all day and is genuinely not OK right now,” he finally said, now looking incredibly distressed himself.
You stood there in stunned silence, tears still threatening to fall, as your gaze flickered back and forth between Tae and Mrs. Choi. His chest was heaving from the exertion of his outburst while she was motionless, a look of complete shock on her face. Upon remembering you were still here, though, she turned to you with an unmistakably guilty expression on her face.
“Y/N,” Mrs. Choi began apprehensively. “Is something wrong?”
You hesitated for a moment before answering, unsure how to respond, but eventually decided to just go with the truth.
“Today is the five year anniversary of my mother’s death,” you said quietly, wiping away a few tears from your cheeks with the backs of your hands.
Knowing how devastated he would be to learn this, you purposefully didn’t look at Tae as you spoke, but the audible gasp he let out was more than enough to shatter your heart.
“Normally I take this day off, but I knew how important the photoshoot was so I didn’t want to let everyone down,” you went on. “But, clearly I’ve done that anyway.”
It was quiet for a few moments as your admission washed over them and, surprisingly, it was Mrs. Choi who then broke the silence.
“Y/N, I am very sorry for your loss,” she said with a tenderness you did not know she was capable of possessing, much less directing at you. “I am also sorry that you have been dealing with your grief while working today. I am sure that must have been very difficult.”
“I am sorry too for overeating today,” she then said before adding tentatively, “and for perhaps being a bit too hard on you over the years.”
Completely taken aback by not only her apology, but the genuine sincerity with which she delivered it, you simply stood there and stared at her.
“I think we should talk sometime about the things Taehyung mentioned,” she went on. “But, I don’t believe now is the appropriate time.”
“Taehyung, why don’t you take Y/N out for a short break?” she then suggested. “Take her somewhere private where she can have a minute to collect herself.”
He nodded at her and then silently led you from the room, his hand resting on the top of your back comfortingly. Down the hall you two went until he stopped in front of a door into what appeared to be some sort of guest lounge. He opened it and ushered you inside.
The moment the door closed, he had you in his arms. He sat you two down on the couch and then gently pulled you onto his lap, his arms cradling you in a tight embrace. You buried your face in his neck and sobbed, letting out all the emotion you’d been keeping hidden. He stroked your back soothingly and gently rocked you as he whispered the sweetest words of comfort.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked a little while later once you had calmed down, the hurt in his voice evident.
“I didn’t want you to worry or feel guilty,” you said quietly.
He didn’t respond to that at first, just hugged you to him more tightly.
“Jagi, how am I supposed to take care of you if you don’t tell me things like this?” he then questioned, sounding so devastated.
“I’m sorry,” was all you said in reply.
“It’s OK,” he said back, his voice thick with emotion. “Just, next time please let me be there for you.”
You nodded your head in reply and just burrowed deeper into his chest.
A comfortable silence then fell between the two of you. As you sat there, curled up on his lap like that, absentmindedly playing with the buttons on his robe, it dawned on you that this was the first time you had been legitimately alone with him in weeks. You lifted your head up to look at him and could tell from his expression that he must have just had the same realization. Bringing a hand up to cup your cheek, he brushed away a tear with his thumb and then leaned in to connect your lips for the tenderest of kisses.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he said softly once you parted, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as he spoke.
“I know I see you every day, but it’s just not the same,” he continued before drawing you in for another kiss, this one just as slow and sweet as the first.
“I've missed you too, Tae,” you said after breaking away again, your voice catching just a bit. “So much that it hurts.”
“I know, Jagi,” he said sadly, leaning his forehead against yours. “I can’t stand being away from you.”
“But, I promise I’ll find a way for us to be together soon,” he then said, dropping his hand from your cheek and wrapping it around your waist to pull you closer to him.
He kissed you again, this time more deeply, and you wound your arms around his neck in response. As you began running your fingers through his hair, his kisses grew more desperate, like he was afraid if he detached his lips from yours for even just one second you would disappear and he would never get to kiss you again. You matched his passion immediately; you wanted nothing more than to drown in his kisses, to drown in him.
The indescribably perfect feeling of his lips on yours had you wondering how you had gone the last seventeen days without it, much less the last three years. Being with him like this just felt so good, so right; there was literally nowhere else in the world you would rather be. You were completely lost in him, and in the moment, so lost that the overwhelming sadness of this day felt a little more bearable, so lost that you forgot about the photoshoot and his ruined shirt and Mrs. Choi, so lost, unfortunately, that you didn’t hear the door open.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List:
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan
142 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 23 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 3.2k
warnings: cursing, lowkey sexting
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Chapter 23: Happening So Fast
Tae kissed your temple and time itself came to a screeching halt. It was such a small, simple gesture, one that could easily be written off as strictly platonic under most circumstances, but in the context of the greater situation - you in his arms, moments after he had called you his with utter sincerity - it felt like so much more. The whole moment was just so tender and intimate.
So undeniably romantic.
As he carried you across the sand, you felt goosebumps slowly spread across your body, but they had absolutely nothing to do with the cold.
The rest of the night was a blur. That’s how near-catatonic you were after what happened on the beach. There were really only a few things that you recall in much detail. You remember him taking off his favorite gray hoodie and putting it on you after he set you down on the road. You remember him holding your hand the entire drive home, his thumb gently rubbing yours in little circles, and how he pressed a kiss to the back of it before he finally let go so you could get out of the car. You remember reading and re-reading the adorable, yet hysterical string of texts you discovered after getting out of the shower.
[Taehyung 10:32 PM] Finally made it home. Tannie says hi! He also says he’s jealous that I got to spend the whole day with you and he didn’t.
[Taehyung 10:34 PM] I hope you’re snuggled in bed all warm and cozy right now. I’m sorry I let you get so cold out there on the windy beach. I should have given you my hoodie sooner.
[Taehyung 10:37 PM] Speaking of my hoodie, I spoke to him telepathically just now and he told me to tell you that he would like to live with you from now on.
[Taehyung 10:39 PM] He’s very needy, though, just so you know. He requires a lot of attention and affection and snuggles (he also requires low heat when drying).
[Taehyung 10:45 PM] Anyway, I just want to say again that I had a really fun time with you today. I know technically we were working, but it was still nice spending time together.
[Taehyung 10:50 PM Also, I’ve decided we should go back to that beach someday. I can bring Tannie (he’s never seen the ocean before) and my camera and you can show me how to make those epic sandcastles you bragged about on the way home.
[Taehyung 10:52 PM] But, OK. I realize I’m the world’s worst double texter and that you’re probably already asleep. I promise I’ll stop now.
[Taehyung 10:55 PM] Wait, I lied. I still have to say goodnight.
[Taehyung 10:56 PM] Goodnight Y/N 💜
But, most importantly, you remember the exact moment later on when you were lying in bed, still wearing his hoodie and just about to fall asleep, when a most profound and potentially life-altering realization finally hit you:
It was a date
He took you on a date.
Kim Taehyung took you on a date.
Kim. Taehyung. Took. You. On. A. Date.
He took you on a date so stealthily, so subtly, that you didn’t even know it was happening. Sure, it was unconventional, he technically asked you under the guise of work and never explicitly used the word date, but looking back now it was so obviously one all but in name.
That’s why he was so nervous about asking you to go.
That’s why he was looking forward to it so much.
That’s why he convinced Bang Si-Hyuk to let him drive himself.
That’s why he made sure to immediately shut down Nara’s advances.
That’s why he got so jealous when he thought you were flirting with Seo-joon.
That’s why he was so attentive and affectionate and flirty on the beach and in the car and basically the entire day.
HOLY FUCK IT WAS A DATE
Suddenly, despite the fact that it was after midnight, you were wide awake, an infinite number of questions running through your mind.
Was I supposed to know it was a date?
Do I now acknowledge that it was a date?
Does this mean he knows how I feel about him?
Does this mean he wants to be together?
Where do we go from here?
At first you felt blindsided, thinking this had come out of absolutely nowhere, but as you began looking back on the last month, slowly it all started to make sense. Things had been noticeably different between you two since that day with the Tatas when he called you his best friend. You had been so focused on those two words, though, that you hadn’t really stopped to consider the greater implications of his actual actions.
The truth was he had clearly stopped treating you like just a friend a while ago, even before that day in the studio. You had just been too afraid to admit it, too scared to let yourself believe it meant he might actually feel something more for you. Because, in all honesty, it just seemed too good to be true.
The fact that he never explicitly said anything about the now obvious change in your relationship did not surprise you. Things between you two had always gone somewhat unspoken, you’d slowly, almost hesitantly slotted yourselves into each other’s lives over the course of several years without much fanfare. Letting things unfold naturally the way they had kind of just made sense.
Not openly speaking about it also meant refusing to acknowledge the big, glaring flaw in your current state of semi-togetherness: that it absolutely wasn’t allowed. Obviously, you couldn’t avoid addressing this issue forever, but you wanted to put it off as long as possible. You knew the moment you did the spell would be broken and you’d have to face whatever harsh reality was surely awaiting you both.
However, right now none of that mattered. What mattered was Tae and the fact that he had made a big statement today, both with his words and his actions. The ball was now clearly in your court and you knew you needed to make the next move and show him that, whatever was happening between you two, you were all in.
~~~
It was the following Thursday night and you were sitting on the bed in a hotel room a few hours outside Seoul. You and the rest of the BTS team had arrived here, the location for the Dynamite music video shoot, that afternoon and would be here for the next three days filming. It had been a whirlwind of a week getting everything ready; there were so many last minute adjustments and modifications to the wardrobes, so much stuff to pack up and prepare for travel.
You and Tae had both been so busy that you’d hardly had time to see each other. He had still texted you every night, though, and even called on Tuesday, claiming he was too tired to text and also saying he also just missed the sound of your voice. In a way the busyness had been a good thing; it had given you time and space to really think things through, to make sure you were ready for what you were about to do.
You were currently giving yourself a pep talk in preparation for asking Tae out on a ‘date’. You were using the term date loosely here; after all, this was Kim Taehyung you were about to ask out and that unfortunately meant you couldn’t really go anywhere with him. You wrote and rewrote your message to him no less than fifty times. You didn’t want to come off as too forward or desperate, but you also wanted to make sure he understood what you were asking. The last thing you wanted was for the two of you to go on another date where one of you was completely unaware that it was, in fact, a date.
[9:04 PM] Sooo...I was wondering if you maybe wanted to watch a movie together tomorrow night? This hotel has some surprisingly good pay per view options. We could order room service too for dinner? I peeked at the menu. There are a handful of items that seem edible, though, most things do look rather spicy (sorry in advance to your sensitive taste buds). I’m up for anything, really. I just want to spend time together. It’s been a busy week and I miss you.
The moment you pressed send, you felt your heart stop: there was no turning back now.
Suddenly, a million doubts and worries began rushing through your mind. What if you’d gotten everything wrong? What if the photoshoot actually wasn’t a date and you just imagined the whole thing? What if he did only see you as his best friend and nothing more? What if the absolute last thing he wanted to do tomorrow night was hang out with you alone in a hotel room watching some random movie and eating crap room service?
Mortified by what you had just done, you flung your phone across the bed, buried your face in a pillow, and waited with bated breath. The fact that it took so long for him to respond only deepened your embarrassment. He must be wondering what the fuck was wrong with you and trying to figure out how to respond to your extremely awkward invitation. He was a nice guy, so he would probably let you down easy, maybe just make some sort of excuse about being busy, but surely his rejection was only moments away.
When he finally did respond it took you five solid minutes to summon the courage to look at what he wrote. Slowly, as if held down by a physical manifestation of the weight of your actions, you crawled across the bed to where your phone was laying. After unlocking it with a shaky swipe, you put your hands over your face and then hesitantly peered between two fingers at the screen.
[Taehyung 9:15 PM] You are a mind reader.
[Taehyung 9:17 PM] I was literally just thinking we should do something.
[Taehyung 9:18 PM] I miss you too. So much.
[Taehyung 9:18 PM] So yes, I would love to :)
PHEW.
You let out the breath you had been holding. Ok. Maybe you had overreacted a bit just now. He said yes, told you he’s been missing you, and even threw in a smiley face. These were all very good signs.
[Taehyung 9:20 PM] What time? And do you want to watch in my room or yours?
Following up to actually start working out the details of your proposed date - another good sign. Yes, OK. This is definitely good. Emboldened by his apparent enthusiasm, you decided to get a bit cheeky.
[9:22 PM] Let’s say 8:00 PM. As for the room, I’m going to have to say mine.
[9:24 PM] The last time I went to your hotel room I was held hostage...
[Taehyung 9:27 PM] I’m still so sorry about that.
[Taehyung 9:28 PM] But, I just want to state for the record that I absolutely got the short end of the stick that night. I got stuck on the old, lumpy couch while you got the fancy, comfy bed.
[9:30 PM] No one said you had to sleep on the couch.
[9:30 PM] That bed was certainly big enough for two.
[Taehyung 9:32 PM] Well, I have a tendency to subconsciously cuddle people while I sleep. I didn’t want to inconvenience you...
You blushed at him suggesting that, had you both slept in that bed, he would have ended up cuddling you. Tae was usually not this flirty, but then again neither were you. Also, the two of you had never maybe, kind of been together before. Curious to see just how far he might be willing to take things, you upped your game a little.
[9:35 PM] Who says I would have found your cuddles inconvenient?
[9:36 PM] I might have felt lonely all night without them.
You saw the three dots appear and then disappear several times before he responded.
[Taehyung 9:40 PM] Here I was thinking I was being a gentleman when actually I was being neglectful.
[Taehyung 9:42 PM] My sincerest apologies. I promise you’ll get all the cuddles you want next time.
Next time
Your entire body flushed at the insinuation that he planned on having you in his bed again at some point. He had never said anything that suggestive to you before, but clearly the two of you were in uncharted territory right now. If he was on board with flirting like this, you were definitely not going to stop now.
[9:45 PM] Will I get to wear Kim Taehyung’s infamous plaid Burberry pajamas again next time too?
[9:46 PM] They were so soft and comfy.
[Taehyung 9:48 PM] Most definitely.
[Taehyung 9:49 PM] They looked rather good on you.
[Taehyung 9:50 PM] The top was ridiculously big, but in an adorable sort of way.
And just like that you were blushing again. He had seemed so unfazed at the time by you wearing his clothes, but perhaps he had been affected by it after all.
[9:52 PM] You seem to like seeing me wear your clothes.
[Taehyung 9:54 PM] It may or may not be a sight I enjoy.
[9:56 PM] What would you say if I told you I was wearing your hoodie right now?
[Taehyung 9:57 PM] I would say that I wanted proof.
You knew at once what he was asking: he wanted a photo of you wearing it. Immediately, your mind began to race. This was dangerous, you were most definitely playing with fire right now, but god, did you love it. Sweet, affectionate Tae had you swooning last Saturday and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, but sexy, seductive Tae had you feeling a whole different way right now.
You got up from the bed and stood in front of the floor length mirror. His hoodie was massive on you, so long that it grazed the top of your thighs and completely covered the shorts you had on. You should have hiked the bottom of it up to reveal that you were, in fact, wearing shorts, but you didn’t. You snapped the photo with the hoodie as is, leaving Tae to wonder what you might or might not have been wearing underneath.
[10:02 PM] Image Sent
He didn’t respond right away, and you immediately felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment that you’d sent something so risqué to him, but then came his reply which quieted every single thought in your head.
[Taehyung 10:10 PM] You wearing my pajamas was cute, but this...this is something else entirely.
[Taehyung 10:11 PM] I never thought you’d be such a tease.
[Taehyung 10:12 PM] But, I can’t say I don’t like it.
Well fuck
Tae had called you pretty several times before, and even once said you looked beautiful, but this was the first time he had ever hinted that he found you desirable. You honestly were at a loss for words on how to respond, but before you even had time to think, Tae was taking things to a whole new level.
[Taehyung 10:15 PM] However, you must know that two can play at this game.
[Taehyung 10:18 PM] Image Received
FUCK.
Kim Taehyung just sent you a shirtless selfie. He was laying down on the hotel bed, his phone held out in front of him and angled so as to show his gorgeous face, his deliciously muscular chest, and the pajama pants sitting low on his hips. The only thing he was wearing up top was his ring necklace, the jewel hanging tantalizingly between his pecs.
It was literally the definition of a thirst trap.
And fuck if you weren’t now absolutely parched.
You needed to play it cool, though. You didn’t want him to know how incredibly turned on you now were just from that picture alone.
[10:23 PM] A shirtless selfie. How typical of Kim Taehyung. You going to post it to Weverse later on? Get yourself a nice ego boost from ARMY going feral?
[Taehyung 10:25 PM] Absolutely not. This one is just for you.
[Taehyung 10:27 PM] Besides, you admitting it’s a feral-worthy photo is the only ego boost I need.
Shit, you walked right into that one. He was entirely too good at teasing you like this. Needing to regain the upper hand in whatever game you two seemed to be playing right now, you decided to throw caution to the wind and go in for the kill.
[10:30 PM] Alright Mr. World's Most Handsome Man, I’m going to ask you a question and I expect you to answer truthfully.
[Taehyung 10:31 PM] That title sounds so much better coming from you, but please ask away.
[10:33 PM] Are you curious about what I’m wearing underneath your hoodie?
[Taehyung 10:35 PM] Shit. I knew you knew exactly what you were doing when you sent that photo.
[10:37 PM] Answer the question TaeTae.
[Taehyung 10:38 PM] I might be.
[10:38 PM] I want a yes or no.
When he didn’t immediately reply, you goaded him further.
[10:39 PM] You were so cocky a minute ago.
[10:40 PM] Don’t be shy now.
[Taehyung 10:41 PM] Fuck. Yes. I am very curious.
[Taehyung 10:42 PM] There, I was a good boy and answered your question.
[Taehyung 10:43 PM] Do I get to know now?
[10:44 PM] Nope. It’s a secret.
[Taehyung 10:45 PM] You little minx.
[10:46 PM] 🎤 🎤 🎤
[10:48 PM] I think perhaps that’s enough teasing for one night.
You meant that for yourself as much as for him. Although you were definitely the one who started everything, you honestly hadn’t meant for it to go as far as it did. You still weren’t even sure what exactly was going on between the two of you right now, but whatever it was, it was all happening so fast. A week ago you were still convinced you two would only ever be friends and now here you were lowkey sexting. It was extremely hot, and you thoroughly enjoyed it, but it made one thing very clear: tomorrow night you two needed to have a legitimate conversation about your relationship.
[Taehyung 10:50 PM] Yes, I think you’ve tortured me enough.
[Taehyung 10:55 PM] But OK so I’ve been scrolling through the movie options and there are a bunch that look good. What are your thoughts on Frozen? I’ve seen it an embarrassing number of times, and know pretty much every word, but it’s my #1 contender right now.
And just like that, as if he hadn’t spent the last hour saying incredibly scandalous things to you and sending you half-naked photos of himself, he was back to being absolutely adorable.
Oh the duality of Kim Taehyung
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List:
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae
153 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
To Good To Be True - Ch. 29 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 2.9k
warnings: cursing, fingering, handjob
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Chapter 29: Dinner Before Dessert - Part 2
Before you even knew what was happening, he was capturing your lips in a ravenous kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he slid his around your waist, the two of you molding into one another seamlessly. For the next few minutes, not a single word was spoken as you simply devoured each other, your hunger insatiable after holding back all evening. It was desperate and messy, all tongue and teeth, but you simply could not get enough.
“I have unprofessional thoughts every time I see you in this dress,” he said breathlessly after finally releasing your lips. “Every time I think about you in this dress.”
“You think about me in this dress?” you asked flirtatiously.
“I do,” he replied at once. “And about you in my hoodie and those lace panties.”
“I always think about you, Jagi,” he then added almost guiltily as he leaned his forehead against yours. “I-I just can’t help myself.”
You knew at once what he was admitting to and found it to be possibly the most arousing thing you’d ever heard in your life. The idea that Kim Taehyung, literally the sexiest man on the planet, fantasized about you was such a deliciously scandalous thought.
“I think about you too, Tae,” you said as you cupped his cheeks and kissed him deeply.
“You do?” he asked in amazement.
“Mmhmm,” you hummed in response as you then began trailing kisses down his neck.
“Fuck, that’s so hot” he murmured as he pulled you forward on the counter and pressed his hips into you. “Tell me what you think about.”
You’d had so many fantasies of him over the years it was hard to know where to start. One thing you did know, though, was that nothing you’d ever imagined held a candle to what you were experiencing with him right now. His every touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, every word spoken in his deep, husky voice had your mind hazy with desire.
“I think about you flexing these muscles for me,” you began as you trailed your fingers up his arms and then down his chest. “And about how strong you are and how easily you can pick me up and take me wherever you want.”
“I think about how sexy you look when you’re performing on stage,” you went on. “Especially during those body rolls at the end of Mic Drop or that hip thrust during Dimple.”
“But, mostly I think about your big hands and your long fingers and all the things you could do with them,” you whispered in his ear.
You wrapped your legs around his back as you spoke, pulling him deeper into you, and could instantly tell how affected he was by the risqué things you’d just said. The feel of him between your legs, nothing but a few pieces of fabric separating you, had your entire body buzzing; you had never been more turned on in your entire life. You crashed your mouth back onto his and poured all of your desire into the sensual kiss you shared. He began running his hands up your thighs, pushing the skirt of your dress upwards as he went, but he stopped partway up and leaned his forehead against yours again.
“Can I touch you, Jagi?” he asked hesitantly as his thumbs rubbed little circles on your inner thighs, all hints of teasing and suggestiveness suddenly gone from his voice. “The way you just talked about?”
You were taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor, but your answer came without hesitation.
“Yes,” you replied quietly before giving him a kiss on the cheek.
You were so appreciative of him asking for permission before things went any further. You had clearly alluded to your desire to be intimate with him like that, but you hadn’t explicitly told him you were ready for it now. It meant so much to you that, even though you had teased each other and fooled around a bit before, he hadn’t made an assumption about what you might be comfortable with now, that this kind of intimacy was something he took seriously and wanted to talk about first.
“Can I touch you?” you then asked back as you gently ran your fingers through his hair.
“Yes, Jagi,” he replied before mimicking you and kissing your cheek.
“I still want to go slow, though,” he then said, bringing his head up to look at you, a tender expression on his face. “I don’t want to rush everything tonight.”
“But, I want to be with you,” he added softly. “I want to be close to you and make you feel good and take care of you.”
You didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than you already did, but knowing that this was how he felt about intimacy, how meaningful it was to him, a whole new kind of love for him bloomed uncontrollably in your chest.
“I want to be with you too,” you said with a shy smile before leaning in to give him a slow, sweet kiss.
Without another word, he lifted you up off the counter and carried you to his bedroom where he then gently laid you down on his bed. Laying down beside you, he took your hand in his and asked if you were sure, saying with absolute sincerity that you didn’t have to do anything if you weren’t ready. You gave him a kiss, with it trying to convey all your appreciation for his thoughtfulness, told him you had never been more sure of anything, and then slowly slipped off your dress to reveal the black lace bra and panties.
The expression on his face as he took in the sight of your near-naked body had you blushing. He looked to be in complete awe of you, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, as his gaze lingered on the lace and what it barely covered. Still ever so slightly shy, and wanting to maintain just a bit of mystery, you decided to keep the lacy garments on. A minute or so later, after he finally seemed to remember how to speak, he said you were beautiful and perfect, the most stunning woman he’s ever seen in his entire life.
When he eventually moved to put his hands on your body, you scolded him and said he was still wearing entirely too many clothes to allow such behavior. The speed with which he got up and started undressing had you giggling, but you stopped immediately once his shirt and pants were off. You’d seen him in his boxers before, but never like this, never with him straining inside of them with unadulterated desire for you. The sight left you speechless and aching. You gave him the come hither sign and he obliged at once, climbing back onto the bed and settling down directly beside you, his body pressed against yours.
He proceeded to not simply touch your body, but to explore it, savoring every last inch of you. You shuddered as his fingertips brushed over the swell of your breasts and let out a small gasp when he dipped his fingers under the lace to caress them. As his hand then trailed lower, down past your navel, his eyes were locked on yours, watching for any signs of hesitation or discomfort. When he found none, and instead saw only desire, he leaned in to give you a deep kiss and then slowly slipped his hand beneath the lacy fabric.
He was gentle and teasing at first, but grew bolder with every soft moan that left your lips. Attuned to your body’s every response, he quickly learned what you liked most, what subtle changes had your breath hitching and your back arching off the bed. All at once, you realized that you hadn't even come close to imagining the amount of pleasure his long, dexterous fingers could give you; the things he was doing with them had you in pure ecstasy.
At first you were embarrassed at how loud you were being and tried to hold back, but after he said he loved hearing you make such pretty sounds you stopped trying to be quiet. If he wanted to hear how good he made you feel, you would let him hear. In the heat of the moment you also called him ‘baby’, the first time you’d ever referred to him by a pet name, and he told you at once how much he loved hearing that too.
When he wasn’t kissing you or softly sucking and biting at the sensitive skin of your neck, he was whispering into your ear, most of his words being surprisingly, but delightfully filthy: praise over just how much of a good girl you were being for him, an admission of how many times he’d imagined doing this to you, vivid descriptions of all the other things he wanted to do to make you feel good. Given his sweet, innocent nature, you hadn’t ever imagined him talking to you this way, but now that he was, you never wanted him to stop.
Being with him like this was overwhelming, but in the best sense of the word. He was such a generous and attentive partner, using every part himself to make you feel good, from the soft touch of his fingers to the sultry sound of his voice. Before long, he had you falling over the edge, a cry of his name leaving your lips as your body trembled and the pleasure washed over you. Afterwards, as you laid there panting, still slowly coming down from your high, he told you that you’d never looked more beautiful. All you could manage in response was to gaze at him in wonder and adoration, a bashful smile and light blush on your face.
After how good he’d just made you feel, you were determined to give him the same amount of pleasure. It had been a long time since you’d been with someone, the last time being with your boyfriend in college, so you were a bit nervous, but with Tae you felt comfortable and safe and knew it would be OK. Slowly, you ran your fingers down his chest and along the waistband of his boxers. You teased him like that for a few moments before finally nudging the fabric down, your entire body instantly flushing at the sight before you.
The low groan that escaped his lips when you first took him in your hand was by far the most erotic sound that had ever reached your ears. You were certain it would find its way into every single one of your fantasies from that point forward. The feel of him also shot a whole new wave of arousal through you as you thought back to some of the things he’d whispered in your ear and how much more enticing they now seemed.
You began slowly, teasingly, just like he had, but soon found yourself unable to hold back. He had just given you so much, literally worshiped your body; you wanted to give him everything in return, didn’t want to deny him a moment longer. As you continued, mutters of expletives, praise, and your name began falling from his lips, always in the same deep, breathless voice. Every word out of his mouth only made you all the more desperate to satisfy him, to make him feel as good as he made you feel.
Given how vocal he had been while he was in charge, you thought he might like it if you talked to him like that too. The way he bucked his hips as you told him the naughtier parts of your sexy strawberry farmer dream let you know he didn’t like it, he loved it. Mesmerized by the effect your words had on him, you began unraveling three years worth of unprofessional thoughts between hot, open-mouth kisses to his chest.
The sight of him laying there, head thrown back, eyes closed, lower lip bitten, that beautiful purple diamond glistening against his bare chest, was downright sinful; he truly looked like a piece of erotic art. When he came a short while later, and you felt him shaking with pleasure beneath you, heard him moaning your name, you were overcome with a rush of several emotions: desire, pride, but, most of all, bliss. Being with him like this was better than anything you’d ever imagined. You’d never felt closer to him, never loved him more.
~~~
Later on, after cleaning up, watching a movie, and polishing off the rest of the dark chocolate covered strawberries, you were on his bed cuddling, trying hard not to fall asleep and let the night end. You were in his arms laying with your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, while he gently ran his fingers through your hair. He had been softly singing to you for a while now, having serenaded you with ‘Scenery’, ‘Winter Bear’, and, of course, ‘Sweet Night’, when he suddenly stopped singing and grew quiet for a few moments.
“Jagi, can I tell you something?” he asked hesitantly.
“You can tell me anything, Tae,” you assured him as you lifted your head up to look at him.
He didn’t respond right away. He just sat there looking at you, his eyes searching yours as he seemed to be gathering the courage to say his next words.
“You are the first person I have ever been intimate with,” he then said quietly, almost ashamedly.
His admission was honestly not at all surprising. Tae had never been in a serious relationship before and was not someone you ever thought would have casual partners. He was rather traditional when it came to his values, family being of the utmost importance to him, and was, as he had once told you, a hopeless romantic. Knowing what intimacy meant to him, it made complete sense that he hadn’t been with anyone before. It broke your heart, though, that he seemed to think there was something wrong with that fact.
“That’s perfectly OK, Tae,” you told him gently.
“I’m really glad you chose me to share your first experience with,” you then said before giving him a kiss.
“I-I’ve always wanted it to be you,” he said shyly.
The weight of that statement enveloped you like a warm hug; he waited for you. He cared about you that much, thought you were that special, that he wanted his first time to be with you.
“Tae, that means more to me than I will ever be able to put into words,” you said sincerely before leaning in to capture his lips again, trying to express with the kiss what you couldn’t with words.
However, the warmth you felt a second ago immediately disappeared when you realized the next logical step in this conversation would be for you to share your past experiences.
“I’ve been intimate with one other person,” you said tentatively.
“And I’m not a virgin,” you then added quietly.
It’s not that you regretted having sex with your college boyfriend. You were with him for three years, and truly did love him at the time, but you now wished more than anything that you had waited. The love you felt for Tae was so much deeper and you couldn’t help but think that it would have been even more meaningful to share all your first experiences along with him. Upon realizing this, you found yourself getting ever so slightly choked up.
“Y/N, that’s perfectly OK, too,” he said tenderly, sensing you were a little upset.
“It will still be special when we do things for the first time together,” he then said as he leaned in and gave you the sweetest kiss.
If you were choked up before, you were on the verge of full on sobbing now, but for the best of reasons. He was just so wonderful, so kind and sweet and caring. You honestly couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be with him.
Once again, you found yourself on the verge of saying those three words, but before you could utter them, Tannie burst into the room, jumped onto the bed, and plopped down on Tae’s chest exactly where your head had just been.
“Ok he’s definitely jealous that I’m cuddling with you right now,” you said with a laugh.
“Tannie, you’re going to have to learn how to share,” Tae said scoldingly as he gave the pup a scratch behind the ears. “Y/N is going to be staying here with us from now on.”
With the amount of butterflies that started fluttering in your stomach, you were shocked that your body didn’t float up off of the bed.
“I am?” you asked shyly, unable to contain a giant grin from spreading across your face.
“Oh. Shit, I-I didn’t mean to assume. You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just...I’d really like you to. We could spend so much more time together if you’re staying here. I understand if you’re not ready for that, though. I’m so sorry for just saying that without talking to you first,” he rushed out, growing more and more adorably flustered by the second.
He was just about to start more of his precious ramblings when you brought your finger to his lips to shush him.
“I would love to stay here with you,” you said softly, watching in delight as his lips turned up into a smile beneath your fingertip as you spoke.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan
132 notes · View notes
blackswan18 · 3 years
Text
Too Good To Be True - Ch. 44 | kth(m)
Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.
pairing: Taehyung x reader
genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn
rating: 18+
word count: 4k
warnings: cursing, sexting, bondage, implied sex
A/N:  So I realized the last couple chapters have been super angsty and depressing and decided we needed to have a bit of fluffy, smutty fun for a change. Rest assured, this was but a respite from the heartbreak. The big angst is still coming. But, for the time being, I hope you enjoy Y/N and Tae being super cute and incredibly hot for each other :
Chapter 44: The Best Boy
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
It was nearly 2 AM and you were still awake, nothing but the sound of Tannie’s soft snores and Tae’s occasional mutterings to break the otherwise suffocating silence.
You’d say you spent the last several hours tossing and turning, but that would be a lie; it was impossible to toss, turn, or really move at all whilst in Kim Taehyung’s sleepy clutches. He’d fallen asleep rather quickly, leaving you alone with your tumultuous thoughts, something which you were trying desperately not to resent him for. The situation was uncomfortably reminiscent of the night in which this whole fake dating fiasco began: Tae beside you sleeping peacefully while you laid there wide awake, your mind racing. After hours spent contemplating everything - what you were told, what you believed, how you felt, what you should do - you had figured out precisely nothing.
With a defeated sigh, you decided you couldn’t stay in bed any longer. Gently extracting yourself from Tae’s koala bear embrace and stuffing your pillow into his arms instead, you quietly slipped from the bedroom. After turning on the light in the living room, you went over to one of the couches and collapsed down onto it, your head instantly falling into your hands. You don’t know how long you sat there, staring blankly ahead as you sifted through your endless thoughts, but eventually something on the bookshelf in front of you caught your eye.
It was a framed picture of Tae’s phone that showed his background set to the first photo you’d ever taken together, the one where he was trying to eat your pigtail. Since he obviously couldn’t have that photo be the background of his phone all the time, he figured having a picture of what it would look like was the next best thing. He gave it to you a week or so after you got back from America, calling it a ‘because I love you’ gift. You cracked up when you pulled it out of the bag, telling him it would have been easier if he just got you a framed picture of the photo itself, but he said that would have been too boring. It was such a silly, sweet, thoughtful gift, something that was so incredibly Tae. Looking at it now, you were reminded not only of how much Tae loved you, but of the infinite number of ways, big and small, that he went about expressing that love.
Him giving you the couple’s ring that matched his grandmother’s ring to assure you of his commitment. The fact that he made coffee for you in the mornings even though he didn’t drink it. How affectionate and passionate and generous he was when you were intimate. The way he kept the apartment slightly warmer than he probably wanted because he knew you were always cold. How he shared his vision for your future together and spoke of marriage and children without the slightest bit of doubt or hesitancy. When he pretended to be full because he knew how much you wanted the last dumpling. How often he lavished you with genuine praise, saying you were beautiful, smart, talented, strong, the woman of his dreams. How he spent three years writing you the most beautiful love song, one which he often softly sang to you at night as you were falling asleep.
Laying down on the couch, you pulled out your phone and started playing the original demo version of ‘Sweet Night’ Tae had given you. Once he started ‘dating’ Jisoo, his plan for re-recording the song without her on backing vocals unfortunately went out the window. It would make no sense for him to kick her off the song if recording it together is what led them to date in the first place. It was frustrating that she would be on the official version, but you had this one which you absolutely loved and that was enough for you.
As you lay there listening to Tae’s soft, soothing voice, memories from the summer when they were recording this song together washed over you. It had been an extremely confusing and difficult time for you, one marked by many sleepless, tear-filled nights. When you thought back to all the most heartbreaking moments, though, you realized there was an undeniable common theme:
Jisoo bending the truth to fit her own twisted narrative.
How she led you to believe Tae was taking her on a date when they were actually attending a dinner meeting with numerous other people.
How she pretended he had given her the dark chocolate-covered strawberries even though he had actually ordered them to go so he could give them to you.
How she made it seem like he was busy and not spending time with you because they were together when in reality he had been hard at work producing the song he wrote to confess his love to you.
Suddenly, the idea that you’d questioned Tae’s faithfulness for even a second seemed completely absurd. Whatever the reason for him not telling you about their time in her recording lab, whether because he truly did just forget or because he felt guilty about being in there at all, it was obvious now that Jisoo had purposefully misconstrued the situation. She wanted you to have doubts and to accuse him of cheating, knowing how absolutely devastated he would be if you did so. She wanted to drive a wedge between you and him, just like she did over the summer, and ruin your relationship.
Why? Because she was jealous, plain and simple. You had a committed, loving, absolutely wonderful partner and she was jealous. You didn't blame her, you had once been jealous of her when you thought they were together, but the way she was going about dealing with her envy was both cruel and pathetic.
But, no longer were you going to sit back and take it. No longer were you going to be intimidated by her or let yourself be poisoned by her toxicity.
It was time to stand up for yourself and fight fire with fire. If she wanted to shamelessly revel in and openly flaunt her fake relationship, then you would shamelessly revel in and openly flaunt your real one, in all it’s fluffy, smutty glory. You would show her, once and for all, that Tae was wholly and unequivocally yours.
With a newfound sense of calm and purpose, you rose from the couch and headed back into the bedroom, determined to get a good night’s sleep so you could begin taking your life back tomorrow. Climbing onto the bed, you found Tae had completely wrapped himself around your pillow, a sight which was painfully adorable. You tried gently prying it out of his grasp, but he was holding it with both his arms and his legs and it wouldn’t budge. Pulling a little harder now, it was just beginning to come free from his hold when suddenly he clutched it back tightly against his chest.
“No,” he mumbled sleepily.
“Mine,” he then added after you gave the pillow another tug, his words just barely understandable. “My Jagi.”
In that moment, you thought for sure your heart would burst. Even in his sleep, he called you his.
“Tae,” you whispered as you brushed his hair back from his face. “Tae.”
It took a minute of trying to gently rouse him before he finally started to stir.
“Hmm?” he hummed, clearly disoriented after being woken up in the middle of night.
“I left the bed for a few minutes and now you’re cuddling my pillow,” you whispered, smiling as you watched the realization hit him.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he muttered as he let go of your pillow and put it back by your head.
“It’s Ok,” you said back with a giggle. “I just thought maybe you’d want to go back to cuddling me?
“Most definitely,” he replied as he held his arms open.
Scooting over to take up the space previously occupied by your pillow, you let him envelope you in his arms and pull you to his chest.
“Much better,” he said softly as he nuzzled his face into your neck. “My Jagi is back where she belongs.”
“Yes,” you called back quietly, already beginning to feel sleepy. “Yes, I am.”
~~~
You woke the following morning to the feeling of Tae pressing a feather-light kiss against your temple. From there, his lips made their way to your forehead, the tip of your nose, the apple of your cheek, and every other inch of your face. You pretended to still be asleep as long as you could, but when his lips finally found yours you were unable to contain your smile any longer.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said sweetly.
“I’m not beautiful right now,” you mumbled sleepily, your eyes still closed. “My face is puffy and my hair is messy and I have eye oogies.”
“Your eye oogies make you especially beautiful,” he said with a laugh before kissing the corner of your eye, precisely where the offending oogies were located.
Finally opening your eyes, you found him lying beside you, gazing at you with the most adoring smile. In the soft light streaming in from the window, he looked nothing short of angelic, his fluffy, sleep-mussed hair framing his handsome face. No matter how many nights you spent together, you would never get used to waking up to this view.  
“You were in my dream last night,” he admitted shyly a moment later.
“Yea?” you questioned, loving the little blush that he was now sporting. “What did you dream about?”
He nervously bit his lower lip and looked away for a moment before responding.
“Umm, I might have dreamed that we were in the backyard of our theoretical future house playing with our theoretical future kids,” he said bashfully as his cheeks grew even redder.
Upon hearing his words, you felt the biggest, dopiest smile spread across your face. That might just be the most adorable, wonderful thing he’s ever said to you.
“Ok, you are too freaking cute,” you said, gazing at him with heart eyes.
“How many kids did we have?” you then asked, genuinely curious to know what his subconscious thought up.
“Honestly, I’m not sure,” he admitted with a laugh. “They were running all over the place so it was hard to get an accurate count.”
“Oh dear,” you said with a laugh of your own. “We had so many that you couldn’t even count them?”
“Theoretically speaking, it appears so,” he admitted, giving you a little smirk.
If there was any residual doubt in your mind after last night’s epiphany, it was gone now. The man literally had dreams where you had a family together, that’s how sure he was of your future. You were now more determined than ever to stand up to Jisoo and fight for Tae, your relationship, and that beautiful future he saw with you. And, you knew just how you wanted to do it.
While you and him spent the day lounging around and binging episodes of your new favorite show on Netflix, you secretly planned a special surprise for him for the following evening. It was one which you believed he would thoroughly enjoy and also one which would help make it crystal clear to Jisoo who exactly Tae belonged to. Since she had obviously failed miserably in her attempt to seduce him and have him lusting after her, you decided you were going to show her how it’s done. You were going to make it painfully obvious to her what it looked like when Kim Taehyung had it bad for someone, that someone being you.
Wanting him to be all the more eager tomorrow night, you exerted an enormous amount of self control and kept things PG all day long. That night, when Tae began kissing your neck and running his fingers along the waistband of your leggings while you were cuddling, his way of letting you know he was in the mood, you feigned being too tired to do anything. Given you rarely ever turned down an invitation for intimacy, you thought he might be surprised or disappointed by your reaction, but if he was he didn’t let it show. Always the gentleman, he immediately stopped what he was doing and reverted back to being a cuddly teddy bear, holding you affectionately but respectfully. It was extremely hard to turn him down, especially since his little kisses and touches had definitely gotten you in the mood, but you remained strong, committed to your plan.
You successfully warded off his advances the following morning too, though, it was certainly easier said than done. The two of you had an extremely healthy and active sex life, having literally not gone a single day without some form of intimacy since the night of your dinner date. Going almost 48 hours with nothing more than a few heated kisses was rough and made you all the more excited for this evening’s surprise.
You began putting your plan into action that afternoon once Tae left the apartment to head over to the dorms. The guys were having a meeting and then Jin was making dinner which meant he would be gone for several hours. As soon as he left, you got dressed and headed out to the mall, knowing exactly what store you wanted to visit and exactly what you planned on buying.
A couple hours later, you were back in the apartment, staring down at your purchases with a look of immense satisfaction. The lingerie set before you was incredibly sexy; it was gray, which was Tae’s favorite color, lacy, strappy, and almost entirely see-through. Up until recently, you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined wearing something so scandalous, but being with Tae had given you so much self-confidence. He made you feel like an absolute goddess whenever you were intimate, like every inch of you was beautiful and perfect. You genuinely liked the way you looked while wearing the set and were all but certain Tae would too.
After showering and shaving every last inch of your body, you did your hair in some soft curls and put on a bit of light, natural makeup. You then slipped the lingerie on, sat down on the bed, and texted Tae.
[5:11 PM] I decided to get out of the apartment for a bit and do some shopping.
You snapped a photo of the Victoria’s Secret bag sitting on the floor and sent it along with a winky face. Tae’s response came almost instantaneously.
[Taehyung 5:12 PM] Victoria’s Secret?! 😳
[Taehyung 5:13 PM] Is my Jagi going to put on a fashion show for me tonight? 👀
[5:14 PM] I might.
[5:14 PM] If you’re a good boy.
[Taehyung 5:15 PM] I will be. I’ll be such a good boy. The best boy.
[Taehyung 5:16 PM] Can I get a teaser photo? Pretty please? 🙏🏻
Laughing at him calling it a ‘teaser photo’ like this was some kind of BTS comeback, you laid down and propped yourself up on one elbow, resting your chin in your hand. You held your phone out in front of you and angled it so as to show off your cleavage and reveal a bit of the bra. Biting your lip ever so slightly, you then took a photo and hit send.
[Taehyung 5:20 PM] Fuck. Sweetheart.
[Taehyung 5:21 PM] You are gorgeous. Literally the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
[Taehyung 5:21 PM] Please let me see the rest of your beautiful body. PLEASE.
[5:22 PM] I will…
[5:22 PM] …once you get home.
[Taehyung 5:24 PM] You are minx. A siren. A seductive temptress.
[Taehyung 5:24 PM] And fuck if I don’t love it.
Getting up onto your knees, you took and sent another photo, this one from the side showing the thin straps of the panties and the curve of your ass.
[Taehyung 5:30 PM] That’s it. I’m leaving.
[Taehyung 5:30 PM] I don’t need the dinner Jin-hyung is making.
[Taehyung 5:31 PM] There is clearly a delicious meal waiting for me at home.
[Taehyung 5:32 PM] I told the guys there was an emergency which technically wasn’t a lie.
[Taehyung 5:32 PM] The emergency is that my sinfully hot girlfriend is alone in our bed right now wearing lingerie.
[Taehyung 5:33 PM] I’ll be home soon, Jagi.
[5:34 PM] I’ll be here waiting for you 💜
Twenty minutes later, which you noted with a chuckle was less time than it usually took to get home from the dorms, you heard the apartment door open. Not a minute after that, the door to the bedroom opened and Tae came bursting in, breathing heavily after clearly rushing to get to you.
You were sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and a glass of wine in one hand. Wanting to keep the mystery as long as possible, you had thrown on the lingerie set’s matching satin robe. It barely came mid-thigh, though, and Tae was immediately drinking in the sight of your bare legs. Setting your glass of wine down on the nightstand, you stood up and strode over to him. His hands reflexively came out to rest on your waist, but you stopped him at the last second.
“No touching,” you said coyly, wagging your finger at him. “At least not until you prove you’re a good boy.”
He gave you an adorable pout as he slowly withdrew his hands.
“How do I do that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Strip,” you then said simply.
Clearly caught off guard by your bold demand, his eyes went wide for a moment before his gaze darkened and a sly smirk spread across his face. Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, he began removing his clothes. Once he was down to just his boxers, you instructed him to lay down on the bed. You then pulled two scarves out of the top drawer of your dresser and held them up for him to see.
“If you want to see the fashion show, you have to be tied up,” you said flirtatiously.
His pupils were blown out wide now, his expression one of unmistakable lust. The two of you had never experimented with any form of bondage before, but it was more than obvious that this was something he found arousing.
“Are you OK with that?” you then asked more seriously, making sure he was actually comfortable with what you had just proposed.
“Yes,” he replied instantly. “Absolutely.”
“You can do whatever you want with me, Jagi,” he added as his tongue came out to wet his lips.
“Oh I will,” you said with a mischievous smirk.
Once he was fully restrained, you began the fashion show. You started by untying your robe and slowly letting it fall off one shoulder, giving him a tiny glimpse of the gray fabric beneath. After shrugging it off the other shoulder, the robe then pooled around your waist, exposing the entirety of the nearly see-through bra. You stayed like that for a little bit, letting the robe slip lower a couple times only to pull it back up at the last second, each time causing him to mutter a breathy curse.
The way he licked and bit his lips when you finally let the robe fall to the floor, shamelessly letting his gaze linger on the strappy panties that covered close to nothing, sent a wave of arousal through you. However, nothing turned you on more than him pleading in a deep, husky voice for you to turn around and let him see you from behind. You obliged, but glanced back to find him looking utterly transfixed by the way the lacy fabric hugged your curves.
After striking a number of naughty poses at the foot of the bed, you eventually climbed onto it and crawled towards him on all fours until you were hovering over him. You then proceeded to tease him with hot, open-mouthed kisses to his neck and chest and stomach until he begged for you to untie him, whining that he needed to touch you. You sat down and straddled him as you contemplated whether or not to let him go, relishing the low groans you drew from him every time you gently swiveled your hips. After a few minutes of torturing him like that, you decided he had been a good boy after all and finally released him.
The second he was free he pounced, pinning you to the bed with the hungriest look in his eye you had ever seen. The beast inside him now unleashed, he spent the rest of the evening absolutely devouring you, worshiping your body in every way imaginable and wringing pleasure from you until you truly couldn't take it anymore. It was by far the most intense and erotic sexual experience you’d ever shared together, one that was certainly more than you bargained for, but which had definitely accomplished your ultimate goal.
“Jagi, sweetheart,” Tae said between pants as you laid together afterwards, limbs tangled in a sweaty, messy heap. “You’ve ruined me.”
“How am I supposed to act professionally around you tomorrow after this?” he then questioned, more to himself than to you.
“I’m going to be sitting there in my chair daydreaming about you tying me to it and riding me,” he went on.  
“That could be arranged,” you said coyly, leaning in to give him a lazy kiss.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“You love it,” you replied, biting back a smile.
“You’re damn right I do,” he growled as he rolled on top of you.
“How did I get so lucky?” he then mused as he gazed at you in wonder. “I’ve got a smart, kind, talented girlfriend who is also incredibly sexy and kinky as fuck who is one day going to be my wife and the mother of my children.”
“By the way, in my dream Friday night you were a total MILF,” he added as he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on your lips before pulling back and giving you a wicked smirk.
“Tae!” you scolded with a laugh. “You can’t simultaneously dream about our children and about wanting to fuck me.”
“Sure I can,” he said, giving you a rather serious look. “That fact you were a hot mom that I wanted to fuck is obviously why we ended up with so many kids in the first place. Dream me clearly just couldn’t keep my hands off of dream you.”
“Ok well dream us clearly didn’t know about a little thing called contraception,” you replied jokingly.
“Speaking of which,” you continued, growing more serious and also slightly shy, “I’ve been thinking...maybe it’s time for me to go on birth control?”
“I just...it would make things easier and more convenient,” you went on nervously. “But, if you would prefer we keep using-”
“No,” he said breathlessly, cutting you off. “If you’re comfortable going on birth control then I’m absolutely on board.”
“I want to feel you, Jagi,” he continued, leaning his forehead against yours. “I don't want there to be anything between us when we make love.”
“OK,” you said quietly, overwhelmed by his incredibly supportive and romantic response. “I’ll make an appointment with my doctor.”
“OK,” he repeated with a little smile as he brought his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.
“I love you,” he then added softly as he pulled back and rubbed his nose against yours.
“I love you, too,” you replied, your heart absolutely overflowing with warmth and happiness.
This night may have begun as part of an elaborate plan to put Jisoo in her place and fend off her desperate attacks on you and your relationship, but it was ending on the tenderest of notes: Tae showing you, in yet another special, subtly meaningful way, just how much he loved you.
⇤ previous || next ⇥ || masterlist
Tag List (always open!):
@mooseknucklesbussy @hordanhearsawhooo @iridescenthobi @silvyaaa @yoonglespringles10 @serendipitysev @t0rus-milk-bread @cuteipat @aomi-nabi @yessii-i @just-jeon @allizarae @somewhereofftheglobe @mykie-min-bangtan  @jesus-in-the-womb  @infernal-alpaca  @fushigurosluvr @topthis808 @emberfulclass @flashcal @ barbsburger
84 notes · View notes