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#kunikuzushi angst
veintrry · 27 days
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I'VE DONE THE MATH
there's no solution.
synopsis: love with scara is hard
an: have you guessed this is a laufey ref, I just felt like writing something lovey but I like angst too much. also... hey teehee also shoutout ayame for getting me out of my slumber <3
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Scaramouche and you have always held a complicated relationship. Even your friendship was confusing, in the sense that it was deeper than most. Maybe not necessarily romantic, but it certainly wasn't exclusively platonic. You two relied on each other, and you understood one another in a way that went past words. You didn't need to speak for himbto know what you thought. It was seamless. You and him had gone through hell and back together, so when your connection bloomed into that of something more than friends it was practically nothing but perfection.
It was beyond that. You had glee on your heart each time you saw the indigo of his irises and knowing that someone loved you. It was fulfilling having an anchor that kept you at the bay that had grown so familiar. The joys of not needing to say those three words, and the feeling that everything is going to be fine, as long as you have each other. And you were content. You believed he was too. But, you felt his attention drift. And the acts of affections, the gifts, and touches you attempted to make to maintain what you had, or what was left of it, were fruitless. You wrote endless words of expression, trying to make him see that emotion between you two once more, but nothing would come back. At best, acknowledgement. At worst, ignored. Practically forgotten like you were nothing.
You don't know when it started, or why. You don't why that anchor that had once been the one thing keeping you on your feet was keeping you stuck in place, unable to move on. Even though you two were dating it was like you had never once spoken in your entire lives. You'd say that you still felt that joy when he looked at you, but he doesn't even glance at you anymore. It was like you were erased without an answer. And with desperation you clung. For once you had attained a love you didn't know your body and mind craved and you wanted it back. It made you feel alive in the most cliché sense. So you continued to try, to become more persistent. But it's like he only cared when you did everything, when there was no one else but you to fall back on.
Then it dawned upon you. You had become merely the thing that comes last to everything, the thing he kept around just so he never is fully alone. It all felt so aimless. All you wanted is to see the hue of his eyes again rather than being met with the back of his head, the only sight are his silky straight strands. It was as if his face was obscured. So, you stopped. You stopped being the first to come to him, to display your love - if you can call it that anymore - first. To be there. And you waited. You couldn't help waiting internally, for that day he'd come back, the day he'd speak to you, tell you he's sorry and he loves you. And foolishly, you'd forgive him as you've done countless times. But that day never comes.
You fought for what you wanted. You allowed yourself to be pitiful. You let your fingers write him honey sweet words till they began to mean nothing to you, and you had to search for new sentences, new phrases, just so you can be refreshing - less repetitive. But it didn't matter. It did not matter what letters you strung together, how you ordered a sentence, how neatly you tied a gift, how long you spent picking it, how gentle your touch was or even its warmth. Because he didn't love you. And worst of all, he didn't care. He didn't care despite your long history and you were left for nothing.
So, you told yourself you'd get away. Distance yourself. There was nothing for you here, not with him. But it hurt. It hurt not being anything. Because despite how horrible it felt when you had something, at least it existed, at least you can say it's there. But now, nothing was left. Your memories were just that; Memories.
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kana-de · 8 months
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★ summary: wanderer x gn!reader. wanderer watches yet another person he loved leaves him.
☆ cw: sfw. angst. no comfort. mc death. injuries. blood. 561 words.
☾ a/n: can u tell i got lazy by the end
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you choked on your own blood, giving out a useless try to speak to wanderer, but no sounds coming out of your blood-covered lips and mouth aside from a few coughs. the back of your shaky and unsteady hand reached for your mouth and tried to wipe your chin and cheeks of your own blood, but instead only smeared the blood even further.
wanderer kept his eyebrows pursed the entire time, fighting with the urge to break down in tears.
you couldn't leave him.
"hey." he called to you, as if you haven't seen each other in years. he was sitting beside you as you didn't even try to move while lying on the grass, your eyes now lifelessly staring up at the star-filled sky. wanderer seemingly nervous - his hands were trembling ever so slightly.
"hi." you replied, making a great effort to turn your head to his side. you even gave him a weak smile, your breathing slowing by each passing second. he watched as life slowly slipped away from your once bright eyes, and he couldn't believe this is happening again.
you raised your own shaky hand, intertwining your bloody fingers with his cold ones. wanderer couldn't help the tears that started to spill down his cheeks.
"[name]..." he whispered, his voice breaking halfway. "[name], you- you can't do this to me... not you, please-"
"sshhh..." you hushed him softly, interrupting. your heart broke into many small pieces when you witnessed him breaking down, and couldn't help him in any way. "i'll... i'll be alright, wanderer. it'll all... be alrigh-" you were interrupted by your own coughing, nore blood flowing down to your lips.
it tore wanderer apart to see you dying. to see the light fron your eyes slowly fading away as if it has never been there at all. the only thing that he wanted right now was to rip his own heart out of his chest and offer it to you-
but unfortunately, he didn't have one nor it could help you in any way.
your head slowly turned away from him, your eyes fixing on the myriads of shining stars up in the sky. they truly mesmerized you.
"the sky is all a gigantic hoax. a lie." wanderer once said to you.
"i don't care." you replied, shifting your current position to watch the stars in the sky more clearly. "i adore stars."
"[name], can you still hear me?" wanderer gently asks, pulling you out of your memories. ah, of course... you're dying, and not stargazing with him at the top of the sanctuary of surasthana again. how stupid of you to forget.
you spoke then, your quiet, almost peaceful tone of voice cutting through the awful silence.
"the stars are so pretty tonight." you whispered shakily, tears starting to form in your own eyes, blurring the endless sky above you.
that was when you shed your last breath of air.
his non-existent heart broke once more.
"you deserved to be one too." wanderer whispered in reply to noone in particular now. he stared at your blood-covered face and body, mindlessly processing it.
wanderer stared right up at the sky a few seconds later, his eyes following each and every single little shining star above.
"you were right." he spoke again. "the stars are pretty, but none as pretty as you."
"i love you."
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ginmoonnet · 2 months
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Promise ︴˚࿔₊•
[Wanderer 🐈‍⬛]
Summary: Missing someone is difficult, and trying to forget is not easy either. (/_\)
Genre: Kinda angst(? Idk it has some
♡︎ Wanderer x fem! Reader (I tried to make it gn! Reader but failed miserably, srry)
Note: Use of “Kuni/Kunikuzushi” referring to Wanderer
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It's been about a few months since the two of you broke off any kind of contact.
You can still remember the last time you saw each other in person before what happened, you can even feel his warm hug before leaving saying that you would see each other soon, his image is still projected in your head waving his hand saying goodbye to you with a smile for What would seem like just a few weeks, nothing that hadn't happened before... that's why that last call impacted you so much.—Let's break up—. He blurted out abruptly, not even deigning to give you a coherent explanation. You laughed, thinking it was a joke, but the silence on the other end of the line stopped you in your tracks.—What? What do you mean?—. Another silence; It was true that the last few days they had been having disputes but you didn't think it was that serious.— You’re joking, right? You can’t be for real…Kuni?—. However, you didn't have time to ask anything else since after hearing the beep when hanging up the call he had already blocked or at least deleted you from most of his social networks and you didn't muster the courage to say anything else either.
That's how you didn't call him for sixty days. You felt empty, cold, you even considered finding some vice to distract yourself from that feeling... which you discarded for obvious reasons. Still, you felt like all your attempts to resist calling him or even thinking about it were going down the drain in a matter of seconds, one after the other.
You tried to excuse him, to excuse yourself so you wouldn't feel so guilty in case you lost to yourself and went after him once again. “Maybe he's confused”, “I should call him, it's probably all a misunderstanding”, “we can solve it together”, but you better than anyone knew that it wasn't true and even if they managed to talk, the damage to what they once had was done, which, although it took you a while, you ended up accepting... or so you believed until you couldn't resist it anymore that cold and lonely night.
You waited for a while, feeling more and more regretful with each beep your cell phone made as you waited for him to answer.
When you were just about to chicken out and hang up, you heard a voice on the other end of the line.—…Y/N?—. You felt a lump form in your throat, you could almost see how your nose began to turn red and your eyes glazed over.—I…I'm sorry—. You responded, almost in a whisper.—It’s…okay, Y/N—. He said, no, it wasn't right and he should know it perfectly, right?.—I did it accidentally, it's just... today I saw someone who looked like you and... I thought maybe it was you but…—. Your voice was cut off for a moment, you swallowed heavily and continued.—But you're not here and that's none of my business anymore, I know, it's just that I couldn't help it, I wanted to say hello to you, to know if everything was okay, if You were fine, just that...—.
Kunikuzushi remained silent throughout, letting you talk like he always did, like he always did until that last call. Remembering it made you shed some silent tears, why?. Why, if that time he forced you to swallow your words and doubts, why didn't he did it again? Why did he seem to try to empathize with you? Did he feel sorry for you? for you?. That last thought was the one that gave you the courage to direct your index finger to that red button on the screen but his voice stopped you.—Don't worry, I'm fine... How…how have you been?—. He asked, in the warmest way he had spoken to you in months.
Your chin began to tremble and tears fell uncontrollably, making your head throb.—Kunikuzushi I'm going to hang u…—. You couldn't finish your sentence because he interrupted you without warning. —I'm sorry, Y/N—. A muffled sigh escaped your lips, as if it had been trying to escape from your throat for some time now..—What…?—.
—It wasn't your fault, none of this was your fault, it's just that, I was afraid and I acted without thinking. I was not going through my best moment and I hid it from you for months but I simply couldn't take it anymore, I didn't have the courage to explain myself to you at that moment and I hurt you but that was never my intention, quite the opposite…—. He answered you, calmly, although you could hear the remorse in his voice.—A-after a few days I thought about confessing everything to you, but with what face would I go and explain to you?! After all…the damage had already been done and I thought that not talking to you anymore would be better than trying to clean up my mess, y’know?—. He explained, after that and awkward silence didn’t hesitate to get in the conversation.
—…I waited—. You confessed.—Huh?—. He blurted out, somewhat disconcerted.— I waited, days, weeks and then months. I waited for a call or I don't know, maybe a message?, Any sign that all this could be a mistake... but they never came, Kunikuzushi, they never did—. Silence, the boy didn't know what to respond so you continued.—There are still days that I wish this was all a bad dream, you know?...ha...Even in the mornings when I wake up, I find myself hugging a lot of pillows like I hugged you, but it's not the same and it's sad because I feel like I'm the only one still clinging to the othe—.
—Me too, to be honest—. The blue-haired man stated.
—Huh?, what do you mean?—. You asked.—I also think about you, a lot. I also imagine you with me sometimes…but it's not the same, and it’ll never—.
—Be the same—. You responded.—Yes…—. He confirmed.
After a silence that felt strangely comfortable you spoke again.—So, what now?—. You weren't sure what to do, you wanted to see him, hug him, although, was that really what you wanted?. You were beginning to believe that kicking him to get paid for what he had done to you was also a great option.—I have no idea—. He responded, laughing a little to himself which you also did.—…Thank you for calling me—. He said with regret. You processed his words before responding.—Thank you for responding—. So they both laughed a little again before another silence appeared.
Even when those chuckles and giggles were recents they felt somehow nostalgic for some reason. After a while they both fell silent once again.
—Hey Y/N—. He called you by your name, like he always did.—Yes, Kuni?—.He laughed at the nickname, he hadn't heard it in a while and he was starting to miss it.—I still love you—. You thought for a moment before answering.—Yeah…me too—. You sighed.
Even though y’all had just declared your love after so long, those words felt more like a farewell and, for some strange reason, this time you felt calm.
—I think I'm going to love you for the rest of my life...can I?—. He asked with some shyness and uncertainty. You scoffed at his words and the tone of voice with which he recited them.—Good night, Kuni—. Even though you couldn't see him, he smiled at your words.—Sweet dreams, Y/N—. My dear Y/N…
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A/N: TMI!
-NYEHEHRHEHEHE 😼😼😼😼
-I’ll be honest with y’all. I wanted this to be breathtaking, heartbreaking, so sad, horrible miserable, but I didn’t felt like crying that day so ur welcome ig LOL
-It may look as if I was working on everything but the fic that I started and haven’t realized the second part haha hehe hoho…and it’s partially true (I will upload it, someday, I swear) BUT I already got the Xiao and Wanderer one shot finished a while ago and the only thing I did was translate so yeah.
Kisses hugs.
—Moonヽ(^‥^=ゞ). ミ★
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Masterlist for other works!
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kazuhiokkotsu · 1 year
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✤------------------------------------------✤
◈Irresistible◈
✤------------------------------------------✤
<Scaramouche x Reader>
- Smut
Summary: Scaramouche can't resist anymore and decided to make his dreams come true.
Warnings: Somnophilia, yandere, creampie, blood, rape, badly written smut.
A/n: first time writing smut lol
I cant believe i worte this after we went to church🤕
I hope you enjoy~!
✳Masterlist✳
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"You're not going to escape me" he said while looking over the unconscious body below.
He startes draging the body to his bathroom to clean up the stained blood that is currently scattered around your body. While washing your body, he cant help but admire how beautiful you are and how your clothes hug your body so perfectly. It makes him wonder if you specifically wore this dress just for him. All that admiring makes him quite hard. He took of your clothes off and threw it on a random corner. He wasted no time and started kissing, sucking and marking your skin. He carried you effortlessly and started heading to his bedroom, still biting your skin and grinding his clothed dick on you. 
He finally got to his room and opened the door. He gently threw you on to his bed and hurriedly took off his clothes.
He reached for his drawer and pulled out a bittle of lube, he put some on your vagina and his dick and threw the lube on the side.
He slowly insterted his tip and he quickly moaned out in delight.
"Ah~ this is much better that i thought" he looked up and saw your face, still asleep. He pushed his entire length inside of you and he noticed your face shaked a bit before going back to your relax face.
"Mhm~ ha.. You're so pretty~ ahh!" He started thrusting in and out of you, starting with a slow pace quickly being replaced with a quicker one as it progresses.
He was to last in pleasure, he didn't even realized he already came.
"Ha! Ha... Mhm~.." He slowly came down from his high and stared at your face.
"You're so beautiful~" he said before kissing your lips. He pulled out of you and quickly saw his cum oozing out of you.
"So pretty~ i love you so much" he mumbled. He cleaned you up and put some clothes onto you and him. He carried you to your room and tacked you in your bed.
"Good night, Darling~" he kissed your forhead and started walking to his room.
--
I hope you enjoyed it~!
-April 9, 2023
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ladymorrie · 1 year
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𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙘𝙝𝙚 — 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩 ੭﹕ ̊ ̟ ꒷꒦
𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 ?
♡⃛₊⁺˖‎𐦍˖⁺₊♡⃛
When Scaramouche woke up from his coma. He had only one idea in mind, to go find this person. After his third betrayal, he was filled with anger and hatred, but is that really an excuse to abandon someone ? And then not just anyone, it was the person who had offered him his only moment of peace he ever had. But in front of him was a grave with her name.
He promised you so many things, that after becoming a god he would protect you, that he could make you immortal and so you could spend eternity together. Even though he could never be a god, he still wanted to be with you. Scaramouche wanted to hate you, he wanted to say to himself that this proved his point and that humans could not be trusted. But he knew very well that it was wrong, it was all his fault. A feeling of bitterness when he thought back to the day you took a pillow and placed it on your belly under your clothes to show him what you would look like pregnant. Create a life together....you talked about it often. This is no longer possible, is it ?
In truth he had imagined a few times your face filled with joy when he would announce you that he had finally become a god. What an idiot he was. You didn't care if he became a god or not. Even if he had become a loser, you would have greeted him with a smile, all you wanted was for him to walk through the door. Yes, after all you had always been like that. When he came home covered in blood, instead of calling him a monster or being afraid, you forced him to take a bath and during this time you took the opportunity to prepare a good meal that you also forced him to eat. But now he can never eat them again. And with that thought he felt something wet along his cheek.
His lover waited for him until her last breath, now that he is here, he cannot accept that she is gone.
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auroratumbles · 9 months
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SCARAMOUCHE // once again.
angst is amazing I had the idea and decided to write it :3 WARNINGS: arson, some blood ig, there's a mild fight scene, also mild curse words, also a bit OOC timeline is scara's final betrayal-present in this, reader is an adult cursed with immortality :) a bit rushed ehe
From the moment you had found the poor puppet in the wilderness, you had known not all things lasted forever. Kunikuzushi needed to find his own purpose. Cursed with immortality, you had faked your own death so that Kunikuzushi could see the world. The only thing you had left behind was a doll that you and him had made together.
Just a few minutes before he walked into the broken-down shack, you had burned part of the house to make it seem like your body had been consumed by the flames. It pained you to do it, but you knew it was good for him.
If only you had known what he would become, just from that.
PRESENT TEYVAT (a bit after scaramouche makes the world forget him)
Sumeru was a rainforest abundant with life, and so you had decided to leave Inazuma and move there. You were picking radishes, humming to yourself. When you heard the bushes rustling around you, you immediately stood up straight.
"Is anyone there?" You called out fearfully. 
You had trained yourself in self-defence if anything was to happen, but when you're panicking your skills aren't as good as they should be. You heard a twig crack and in the split second before the wind hit you, you cast a shield around your vulnerable body in instinct. Your (preference of vision) glowed when you looked around you in suspicion.
You kept frantically glancing around you until your gaze pinpointed a particular person. You tilted your head, narrowing your eyes. He somehow.. seemed familiar. Before you could put your finger on who he was, he spoke harshly.
"So you lied? I should have known," the man (or boy?) glared at you. If looks could kill, you would be dead by now.
"Lied about what?" You snapped. "I don't even know you!"
"Ha. If only you knew. Does the name Kunikuzushi mean anything to you?" He tilted his head. He seemed amused, but under that mask, you saw hurt and anger.
You looked at the ground, tapping your finger on your chin. Your eyes widened as you realised who he was.
"K-Kunikuzushi? Is that really you?" You looked up at him with surprise in your eyes.
"I no longer go by that name. It's Wanderer. I dropped that name centuries ago."
You stared at him. It wasn't possible. Kunikuzushi was always such a kind, trusting eccentric. He couldn't be this cold, unforgiving person before you. You refused to believe it.
"You're lying. I refuse to believe you're Kunikuzushi," you said, narrowing your eyes skeptically. "You look nothing like him."
"You're delusional. Or you just have the shittiest memory any immortal can have. I hope you know that the days I spent mourning for your supposed 'death' were a waste of time." 'Wanderer' commented.
You stood in silence for a moment. You then look down in shame.
"I'm... I'm sorry." You said quietly. Your eyes were starting to get warm.
Wanderer watched you closely. A singular teardrop fell onto the ground. You were crying? You didn't deserve to be sad. You were the one who hurt him, you were the one who caused this. Wanderer hesitated. But after seeing another tear fall out of your eyes, he sighed and stepped forward. He walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you. He pulled you into a tight embrace. You gasped, but nonetheless wrapped your own arms around him.
"If you ever leave me again, I will fucking murder you." He murmured. You could feel small drops of liquid falling on your (shoulder, head, chest, idk ur height). 
"I won't, I promise."
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A/N: whirlwind of emotions there. kinda rushed and OOC but i got it done.
crossposted from my wattpad!! (@iexisttofly)
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liyuee-qixing · 1 year
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Promises
Synopsis: he once promise they will stay by your side till the day you both die,It seem like it was just empty headed nonsense.
Cw:In the verge of breaking up, Misunderstanding,Mention of violent,reader is Elf
Character: Scaramouche
Genre:Angst to comfort
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Scaramouche
You know him all too well,like your own backhand,he would never come home smiling except if a big event is happening,He would kiss you in cheeks before he goes to bed,He never did now. He always bought gift,But it never for you now. You suspect him of cheating when you saw multiple kiss mark on his neck,He tried to hide it by his turtle neck shirt,but still leave few mark to be showen,you don't understand. After all these years you've manage to get in to his heart he start seeing someone else that easily.
Was those years all fake memory? Was that only a mere joke for him? He felt betrayal before he shouldn't have betrayed you! The more you think about it the more it's hurt you heart,One day you had enough of his behaviors and try to confront him about it softly
"hey.. are you seeing somebody else?"you hesitantly ask him,His attention went out to your question of course,Ha! Him!?
"you dare to accuse me about something like that? The audacity!"he scoffed,for once you wish he could be serious.
"even if I did,you shouldn't have pry my business to me, worthless creatures like you deserve no place besides a god like me, It's only is natural if I start seeing somebody better than you"he continues,every single heart break your heart,It clench everytime he talk. We're you really nothing to him?
"so.. what am I to you?are these year where I support you a mere friendship? I'm your first follower,I followed you from the day katsuragi found you till this day you've almost become a god!"you defended yourself,Making a point,Yet he gave you mocking face. With his tongue out
"yeah,I never see you as my lover,I see you as a mere follower,A disturbance"he admitted. A tears almost leave your eyes,you grit your teeth in agony,Right, he's the mighty harbinger,how come you didn't notice it?
"Haha! I got you didn't I? You should see your face when you facade in fear!"he Surprised you, Bursting in laugh as he hold his stomach,still laughing his ass off, It's not funny. it was never to you,you never liked to be treated like a joke,it hurt you whenever he never take things seriously
"it's - it's not funny! So you think my loyalty is a joke!? You don't understand how much your words hurt me nor do you understand my disappointment"a tear leave the corner of your eyes,passing down ur nose
"geez, it's just a prank you snowflake,no need to get overreacted"he snort as he roll his eyes in disbelief and boredom
"Yeah, right. How dumb of me to not understand that you're just a puppet,you could never understand my feelings"your sentence hurt him,it hurt him whenever he reminded he's just a puppet,but it hurt him more whenever a tears left your eyes or whenever you run crying and rubbing you eyes,it hurt him when the cause of your pain is always him, Whenever you shed tears it must be because of him. Now once again he saw tears leave your eye followed by a door being slapped.
"hey y/n,open the door! Or I'm going to open it with force!"he catch up to you, trying to open your both shared room door,fuck. It's have been locked
"ugh! This is useless!"he opened the door with the help of his anemo power,He saw you curling up in a ball,face shredded in tears,but accepting his appearance,you have to act though. Except you couldn't.
"Go away if I'm so useless for you! I'll pack my things and go"you shouted, chocked on a sob once or twice,but scaramouche just come closer to you, sitting down beside you
"no! You misunderstood,I don't mean to call you useless, I'm not serious about anything about what I said,I'm not serious when I told you to leave-"he tries to explain it,But as he observe more,More tears are falling off your face,if he has the chance to,he would take all the things he said about you,he would undo the prank if he know it'll end up like this
"but it's fucking hurt, Scara! You don't understand how and why I feel this why don't you!? All you know is that it's just a joke and in being a snowflake!"you cutter his word with the truth you felt,a tears slipped to the already wet bed,ugh. Now you got no where to sleep
"Your ego hurt me so much,wonder why I even stayed"you continue,Your last sentence hurt him over anything else,the thought of you leaving because of him haunt him,he would never find a lover that'll replace you,He would never find somebody as loyal as you.
"hey.. I'm sorry,I'm sorry these words leave my mouth,I never have the intention to hurt you,Nor do I have the intention to make you leave. It started from a little dare at the fatui- I should've been careful with my action"he apologize at the thought of it,Over and over again,It cringe him he has to beg but what he wouldn't do for you anyway? Even if he has to bring the world down on his knees and worship the floor you walk on then he'll do it
"please don't be my fourth betrayal.. I promise you it won't happen Again,I promise you I will never take you as a joke again"he promised with a pitiful frown on his face,he don't want it all to end,he still gotta have a happy long lasting life with you
"..promise?"you quietly said, bringing your pinky finger out,Making a sign of promises
"yes,Promise"he link his pinky with your,tugging your hair behind your pointy elf ear he kissed you once again. The next day he make sure everything went good.
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rinsettia · 10 months
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Like the others. (Wanderer x GN!reader)
WARNINGS: ANGST WITH (slight?) COMFORT!! There might be mini spoilers for Scaramouches backstory, they/them pronouns for reader if used at all, separation anxiety, cussing, Grammar errors, yelling,  OOC Wanderer maybe? 1500+ words.
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You work for a company called Komaniya express..- Well at least a department based in Sumeru, due to the company’s original origin residing in Inazuma. Your work days can last for as short as two hours because of a lack of packages to even overnight if there’s a sudden rush of packages compared with the lack of employees. The pay and tips are way worth it, though. Outside of that, you somehow managed to pull someone who had clearly given up on his social life and ties with his past..; A cold-heartedly honest introvert who works best alone. With your persistence and love towards the man, you broke down the stone cold walls around his heart and became one of the only that was dear to him. He has opened up to you about his past, his names, everything. But there were always few things he left out, in fear and slight insecurity. Yet, he seems to show a side of himself that you’ve never seen or heard from him every time you stay at work late without a word...
You woke up in the arms of the beautiful, indigo haired man you cherished deeply. You smiled at his seemingly archon sculpted angelic features as he slept. His hair was slightly disheveled and covered his eyes. You reached up a hand to brush his somewhat choppy bangs behind his ear, quietly giggling as you noted how he stirred in his sleep. His wispy eyelashes that hid the most deep, lustrous eyes twitched here and there, along with his slightly furrowed eyebrows. You wondered what he was dreaming about. His chest gently and peacefully rose and fell, contrary to his slightly stressed expression. It must be complex. 
As much as you wanted to lay with your only love for the rest of the daybreak, you had to get ready for work. You gently wiggled yourself out of his arms as you stood up from the bed and stretched, making your way over to the kitchen. You always had to eat a huge breakfast before work, because you never knew if you would have time to stop for lunch or a snack. You decided to make a little for
Kuni,
as he should be awake soon. As you were finishing up, you could hear a tired voice croak “Y-Y/N...?” from behind you. You perked up and turned around to see Kunikuzushi behind you, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “What’re you doing up so early..? Come back to bed.” He crossed his arms, making his way over to you.
“Hmm? Oh, love, I have to work today.” You smiled, handing him a plate of breakfast. 
“But... Hmm. Whatever.” He sighed, taking the plate from you as he sat down, waiting for you. You made your plate and went over to the table to go eat with him. As you began eating, a comfortable stretch of silence were the only thing between you two. 
“How long will you be working for?” He asked breaking the soft ice, as he took a sip of tea. 
“Hmm, I'm not sure, I’ve been thinking about that and- Since usually this time of year there’s nothing going on- No sales or nothing... So I think today’s work day will be short! No promises, though.” You watched him nod at your statement as finished your breakfast surprisingly fast, standing up and walking back to the room to finish getting ready. You went to the closet and grabbed your uniform, and went to take a shower. After you were finished, you brushed your teeth, washed your face, did your hair and lastly, got dressed in your uniform. You sighed, mentally preparing yourself for the tread. 
You walked out towards Kuni and embraced him. “I’ll be back in a few hours, okay?” 
“Okay. Hurry back.” His voice seemed gentler than usual, with a slight hint of insecurity. You noticed this and gave him a huge kiss.
“I love you so much, you know that right? I promise I'll be back in a few.” You let go of him, reassuringly staring into his eyes. You felt a bit guilty.
He smiled and nodded, almost inaudibly chuckling. “Okay..- Okay. Goodbye.”
You left, locking the door. You made your way down to the department, greeting your boss. “Well hello there, Y/N! You're the only one that showed up today..- So I have to ask.”
“Can you make up the shifts for Aarav and Ishaan? The Inazuma department got a huge load so I sent them there. You’ll be getting paid way extra, though. About three times your regular pay.” He began, watching your expression slightly drop.
“Boss, you know I can’t say no to that! But, my boyfriend is waiting at home. This might be selfish to ask but can I go back and tell him I'll be gone for longer than anticipated? I think he has separation anxiety and-”
“He’ll understand if you're getting paid extra. I have a room booked for you at Shapur Hotel, just tell them I sent you. Some extra hours are nothing. Now go grab the boxes, you mustn't be late!” He ushered you, patting you on the back. 
You reluctantly smiled at him, almost running over to the boxes. “Maybe if I hurried..- I could make it back in about 12 hours.. Damn it, if only we didn’t live so far away from here. I’d go and tell him without permission that I'd be staying late. This route is so crazy too-!”
You set off and began delivering each package with an obviously painted grin. You were only thinking about your love, and how he would feel. 
10 hours passed by, and it was beginning to get dark. You were nearby the hotel and walked in with defeat. You were hoping you could make it back to your awaiting boyfriend. 
“Hi! Welcome to Shapur Hotel, how can we help you?” The front desk clerk smiled at you.
“How can you help me..? Hah! By delivering all of these packages for me so I can make it back home..”
...
“Sorry. Arjun sent me, I should have a room?”
The clerk smiled at you sympathetically as she handed you a room key. “It’s okay. I respect you delivery people’s hard work! It’s no joke, really. Room 17 on the third floor.”
“...Thank you.” You gave her a genuine smile as you took the key and went up to the room you were assigned. You unlocked the door and.. “Wow! This wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” You scanned the room for a phone to call home but, it was to no avail. You sighed as you walked in, closed and locked the door and began getting ready for bed. 
You put your clothes in the wash, showered and did your nightly routine with the products provided, and laid down. Although your body was tired and worn from the miles you had to walk in the hot sun, your mind was still racing with guilt.
“I had told him it would only be a few hours.. Now this is pushing a day or two.. Oh my Archons, I can’t even imagine how he’s feeling right now..”
A few hours had passed by and you got about 4 hours of sleep. You woke up, got ready and began to deliver the rest of the packages. You looked at the sun while it set, grimacing at how far the last package’s destination was from where you were at the moment and your home. You considered just asking someone to take it for you, but you shook away the thoughts and went anyway.
After having the recipient sign for the package, you sighed in relief as you made your way back home. You were thinking about the long apology you owed your partner after unintentionally lying to him for how long you’d be gone for.
You stuck your key into the lock and closed the door behind you. You instantly went on a rampage to find Kunikuzushi and give him the biggest hug, kiss and apology..
You found him. He was curled up into a ball, crying his heart out. He hadn’t even realized you were there. 
“Kuni..-!” Your heart shriveled in extreme guilt at the sight as you attempted to take him into your arms.
“W-Where the (hic) hell have you been?!” His voice broke, more tears fell from his eyes as he pushed you away.
“Y/N. I know my time very well and the amount of you have been gone for was WAY longer than ‘a few hours’.” He stood up, glaring at you, his cheeks were red and tearstained, his nose extremely running.
“I know..- I know! I’m so, so sorry. You don’t even understand. I-”
“I DO!” He shot back, instantly growing way louder. “YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME LIKE THE OTHERS, WEREN’T YOU. Take no more pity and just leave already.. It. It hurts, Y/N. It hurts like hell. And I thought that finally I had someone who would actually stay forever...” He laughed, anguished. 
“Wh- What others? Baby, no. I’m not leaving you, okay? I promise. I’m so sorry.” You tried to hug him again, and you actually succeeded. You squeezed him so hard, as if he’d slip out of your arms and shatter, and rubbed his shaking, sore back reassuringly.
“The child, Niwa.. And- My m-mother..” He let out a choked sob as he inhaled your scent deeply, snuggling into your neck.
“I thought you were going to be next, too..”
A/N: Hiiii I'm back after literally deleting all of my posts and renovating my account, man I got so scared after backlash from this angst I posted about a year or two(?) ago. (It was cheating angst with y/n and the characters getting back together which I LITERALLY WARNED and people still got onto my ass about it.) Now that I thought about it for a while I honestly do not give a fruit flying fuck what people have to say about my fics in a negative, non constructive sense. Have at it with this one! lmao but in a serious sense I would’ve been back sooner but there was some stuff going on so I'll try to post more often! I hope you guys liked this one as much as I did and let me know if you’d like a part two. I decided to post this as a celebration of the two year anniversary of my account! yay :D
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bbori-cha · 1 year
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fool me once
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✦ pairing: scaramouche x gn!reader ✦ cw: sfw, not proofread, hints at reader being terminally ill, hints at death, angst?
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the rain pattered down on you both, your skin has gone ice-cold, while the balladeer’s was never warm to begin with. he held your limp body in his arms, sobbing into your hand with begs and pleas for you to wake up that you can barely hear. 
he promised himself he wouldn’t get attached again, let alone to another human. and yet he couldn’t help it when you had stomped your way into his heart. it was impossible for him to not love you.
and so when he sees you like this, sick, ill, lifeless…it wasn’t a surprise, no. he knew what he was getting himself into. he thought that after the first three, he’d grow a bit numb–immune, even. but no. this was hardly the case. with you, you had made the puppet almost human. he was never warm, but his heart would pound in your presence. he would never age, but he would always experience growth with your conversations. and now that you’re no longer here, time has stopped once more for the doll.
and as the beautiful doll with seemingly no flaws cries into the night, he steels his heart yet again.
fool me three times… it never should’ve happened.
fool me a fourth? god forbid.
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✦ an: reposted from my main!
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cottonkendi · 1 year
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Betrayal | 7
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MASTERLIST
Kunikuzushi x Reader
Word Count: 835
Genre: slight angst
Warning: implied violence
Synopsis: Help
Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
a/n: sorry for the long wait, took awhile for me to have some free time from uni... <;33
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You remember the way that the lanterns had reflected upon Kunikuzushi’s eyes at the last Lantern Rite. 
Remember how they glistened like the stars. 
Your very own galaxy. 
And now, you stare back at him, but instead of the grandiose scenery of Liyue filled with lanterns leading you home, you are surrounded by the wreckage of the domain. Broken wallpaper littering the cut up tatami mats. 
Vases broken, paintings torn off from the walls. 
In the middle of the chaos stood Kunikuzushi. 
Eyes glistening with tears, porcelain skin now littered with harsh bruises that match his hair. 
He stares at you with eyes that look like they’ll like glass, sobs escaping his lips with every breath. 
“(Y/N)...” 
He whispers your name for the first time, hand reaching out for you before his legs give out, prompting you to run to his side, arms wrapping around him as his arms automatically wrap around you as well, face buried onto your neck as he sobs louder. 
“(Y/N)... d-don’t abandon me… please…” He whispers against you, his grip on your clothes tightening as you pull him closer to you if that was possible. 
You don’t know what to do. 
Your mouth feels quite dry as you continue to hold him. 
It does not feel like it’s enough. 
Holding him like this while surrounded by the chaos and hurt that he’s been marinating his sadness for who knows how long. 
He needs to get away. 
Get away from this domain. 
From this island. 
From this country. 
“Kunikuzushi… hold on. I’ll get you out of here.” Keeping your eye on him, you materialise out of the broken room and onto a Liyue hill, a waterfall a few feet away from you with the sun just about to set. 
Your personal abode. 
Perhaps this will help with smoothing out the cracks in Kunikuzushi’s heart… 
Settling down on the grass, you pull him onto your lap as he continues to shake in your hold. You hold him tightly, a hand caressing his back as he mindlessly babbles against your skin, interrupted every few seconds by his hiccups as he tries to pull you impossibly close. 
It takes hours. 
Hours of sniffling. 
Silence. 
Tears. 
It never stopped. 
And though you may not understand it all quite well, you can feel it in his chest. Can feel it as his heart breaks as he presses against you. 
His tears feel like venom as he tries and aggressively wipes them away with shaking hands. 
His palms are filled with crescent maroons, blood barely seeping out from self-inflicted wounds. 
Through those hours, you continue to hold him close, continue to caress his back and hair, whisper your words onto his ear, whisper so only he can hear. 
Whisper so he knows you only mean them for him. No one else can ever come close to him. 
You tell him of his worth. Remind him of who he is in your eyes and who he has always been. 
His mother, how terribly hurtful his words had been towards her when he explained, did not deserve his tears for he is strong and precious and worth every single celestial blessing that may fall from the skies. 
You utter such words in hopes that he would believe you. 
You utter such words hoping that he would realise that perhaps there is more to the story than what he can feel in the moment but how terribly insensitive would you be if you told him now. 
How ignorant would you be if you tried to ‘defend’ the electro archon. 
For now, you wish to only offer yourself up to him as his support. As the person he calls out to in times of such tragedies.
Hours of crying renders him tired, inevitably falling asleep in your arms. 
Carefully, you stand up, making your way to the side of the river, the waterfall’s thundering water merely sounding like background noise as you begin to clean him up, a cloth in your hand as you wipe away the remaining tear stains on his cheeks. 
With every wipe of the cloth, you wish to wipe away his anguish. 
With every tear stain that disappears, you hope that a thorn in his heart is plucked. 
“Kunikuzushi… the weakness that you speak of… I think that that is what makes you so strong. In a world full of pain, where so many choose to hide away from such emotions, you choose to embrace it… I wish to be like you someday. I wish to learn how to feel love like you do…” 
Pushing his hair away, you press your lips against his forehead and hope to take away his pain and keep it for yourself. 
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veintrry · 1 year
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winter greetings and their departures.
wanderer x gn!reader, sweet & soft fluff, emotional angst, loss, memory loss.
warning! minor spoilers for wanderers backstory and major spoilers for 3.3 sumeru story quest. 4.3k words.
an: hi this is me b4 writing this and i feel like this is gonna ruin me.
edit: I'm ruined. I hate everything. part 2!
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There was never much that Winter would bring to Snezhnaya, after all, it was always winter here. From the piping hot delicacies, the layers of clothing, the deep inches of snow. You practically didn't need to wait for Winter to come. However, what it does bring is gifts, and one day you received a puppet at your doorstep, unbeknownst to you that is.
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A couple of weeks ago you had found a boy slumped up against the wall of your house. Seeing this as you hummed to yourself planning to spend the day shopping, you obviously were surprised at the figure that donned a large hat and light clothing sat unconscious against the wall. At first you had assumed that maybe it was a drunk who didn't know better, however, after feeling his temperature, you decided to leave the pondering for later.
After a tough struggle of getting him into your home, you laid him on your couch, draping him in multiple blankets. Immediately after doing so you put a hand to feel for his pulse but nothing came through and panic surged through your body. You tried feeling for his heart but nothing beat underneath your palm and there was no sign of his chest ever having been raising up and down, even back when you found him outside. Had he died out in front of your house that long ago? You felt guilty for not being there soon enough but you were wondering just for how long had he been out there? Why did no one help?
You didn't exactly know what to do till you saw him open his eyes, sending your body stumbling backwards as you yelped form the horrifying sight. He's dead. He's meant to be dead. "Who the hell are you?" This doesn't happen to dead people does it? God, please, what possession occurred within your home? "You're alive?" You inched near him. "Of course I'm alive, have you ever seen a dead person before or should I show you one?" Despite his threats you were relieved to know he was well, "Oh my god, you're alive." You say as the weight leaves your shoulders. "I couldn't feel your heartbeat so I thought you had died by now." You don't notice the way his face scrunched at your words.
"Who are you?" You know, he was awfully direct for someone who was drunk prior. "I'm the person who had to drag you out of the freezing cold." You tell him your name as you expect a form of thanks or emotional gratitude but it never comes. "Do you want me to get on my knees and pledge loyalty to you?" Maybe you should've left him to die.
But you didn't, that's why you were here now, eating dinner together like you do every day.
You came to find that the young man, who's name you came to find out is Scaramouche, was not as bad as you thought he was despite his horrible personality. In fact, he was good company once you adapted to his way of speaking. He clearly isn't as direct about his emotions as you thought he was.
You would say you two had become good friends since the incident that occurred, although, he's never really told you how he ended up there. You always thought he was too embarrassed to admit what occurred, after all he has a lot of pride, but you've come to realise he doesn't enjoy alcohol, not unless he seems to be in a bad mood. You never wished to pry onto what happened for him to end up in such a state so you let it be.
"It tastes good right?" The question leaves your mouth excitedly as you expect to be praised. It had been the first time you were the one who made dinner because ever since the first time he met you he decided you were too careless and 'might try to poison him' if he lets you do the cooking. But, after some haggling, you managed to persuade him. Most likely because he seems to have grown a soft spot for you. "It's fine."
Your spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl. A silence overcame the room. The dish before you two was goulash, but not just any goulash, no, it was Your Special Goulash recipe. You had mastered this recipe to perfection, no, more than perfection, it is a goulash so good the Archons would be astounded. "Liar." You bitterly said. "What, you seek more praise?" He spoke, his voice was somewhat laced sweetly with honey as though to further taunt you. "Yes. Yes, I do. This is years of work, it is more than fine, it is magnificent!" You take strong pride in your skills when it comes to cooking and it won't be undermined. "I think it's pretty average." "Average?!" You repeated with astoundment.
One could say you were almost this close to jumping over the table at this blasphemy. He was clearly taking much amusement in your behaviour. "Yeah, I bet I could make a better gou-" His sentence is cut short by a spoon being forced into his mouth and he feels the warm liquid seep into his mouth, the seasonings it carries covering his tongue. His gaze stays stuck to your hands and his eyes are wide. You could easily tell he was astounded and you began to smile happily, but his shock didn't come from what you thought it did. He raised his sights onto you, and your stupid face.
Scaramouche felt his face grow warmer, and it wasn't frustration at your actions but something else. You take note of this and your eyes seem to glimmer, at this he pulls your hand away from him, thereby removing the spoon as he swallows. "So you do like it!" You're so dumb. Such an idiot you are. His hand is raised to his face as he mumbles something but you don't hear him, and you ask him to repeat it, repeat what you know will be the praise you deserve. "I said...It's too hot."
"...What." You stand still, disappointed once more. "It's goulash, it's meant to be hot!" And to your surprise, he mimics the same volume as you. "Well, it's too hot!" "You just don't know genius when you see it!" Taking a seat back down harshly. "Ha! I see it in the mirror every day." Crossing his arms as he bites his bottom lip, as though trying to keep his own resistance against something, making himself appear frustrated despite the colour of his ears. "You wish. Just eat up." You huff, biting your own food.
"Whatever." And he does the same as you, but with each bite he takes he stays more and more focused on what you did. You're so careless. Do you ever think prior to acting? He chuckles to himself, and you raise a brow but don't ask anything.
You both continue to eat peacefully.
Scaramouche had begun to act oddly. It's small things he does that have changed.
He used to cling onto you, he wouldn't directly ask for it but you'd give him it and he'd welcome it despite his complaints that you're too touchy, "You better not do this with anyone else." He'd say to you. And whenever you tried to leave his grip he'd pull you back in, asking you what you thought you were doing leaving him like that. He used to always keep you in his sights, he'd stay reading a book somewhere in the room just to make sure he can also keep an eye on you. But now, he seems too busy, too worried, with something, you aren't entirely sure what. You've asked him about his behaviour but he brushes it off, acting as though you're imagining things.
You question why he feels more distant nowadays, why even after having known each other for a long time now it feels like you're back to being strangers. Despite always being the more honest one out of the two you didn't want to admit to him that you missed having him there, with you. Yes, you two still lived together, but, although you don't want to admit it, you missed his touch.
It's an odd thing to say that you lost someone when they're always with you, it's kind of like having an anchor tied to you, yet the rope isn't tied around you, it is in you. You are one.
You wanted to figure out what's wrong, to sort things out. So you decided you'd try again, that you would do your best.
"Scara?" You called, peaking your head into his room. His answer was quick and to the point, not bothering to stare back at you. "What is it? I'm working on something." You pranched towards where he was sitting, attempting to peer over his shoulder, glimpsing at what he was working on before he abruptly hid it. You feel your brows furrow as you bite your tongue. Why was it that he suddenly began keeping things from you? You can recount exactly when it started. It wasn't like he shared everything with you, nor did you expect him to, but he didn't go out of his way like this.
You straightened your back. It was better to simply be straightforward with him. "What are you hiding?" Your voice was flat, there is no reason for there to be anything other than suspicion. "Nothing." Quick as always to cover up, but unlike other times he might have lied to you, this time his eyes didn't meet yours, they stayed focused on the ground.
You fisted your hands, annoyance surged through your body, but another part of you felt differently. You felt disappointed, not in him, but yourself. You somehow felt you had done something to cause this, to have him leave you behind. It felt slightly hollow. How can you blame him when you want to so badly just forgive him for whatever it is?
"Scara," You started, and the words threatened to never continue sounding out, to stay confined in your throat, suffocating you. But once he glanced up at you, anticipation in his orbs, you knew he was aware, aware that he had done something. If so, why hasn't he done anything regarding it? Regarding how he neglected you. You barely eat together anymore, he's too busy. "Please, just tell me, what's wrong?"
Truth is, he did wish to tell you, but then your idea of him would shatter. Everything you saw would fall apart. He can't have that, he doesn't want you to hate him, he can't take that. "Is it something I did?" No, no, no. God, no. He finds himself denying it repeatedly in his mind, the guilt seeping into his body, realising that you might have been blaming yourself the entire time. The last thing he'd want is for you to denounce yourself in his stead. He knows what he's doing. He knows what he has been doing to you and he knows it's cruel and awful, but he has to, he has to. He's done worse so why was this most bothersome for him?
"Did I ever say that?"
"No, you didn't. But, what else am I meant to think." You were the one who suffered the consequences of his actions. He expired a heavy breath, before admitting his thoughts, putting aside his usual act. "You're right. No, you didn't do anything. You never did. I'm simply caught up with some stuff."
"What stuff? You keep saying you're busy but you never tell me what. I'm… starting to get worried. I don't know what you're doing but if you have to go out of your way to hide it from me then it mustn't be good."
He didn't respond, only blankly blinking at you. It was hard to figure out what he was thinking till he stood up, his following words cut through not only the tension that had built up but you as well.
"I plan on leaving."
"What, where?! Why?!" You couldn't wrap your head around why he'd make such a plan, or why he would have to, nevertheless want to. "I have something I need to do. It's important to me." Important to him. Important to him? Why had he never mentioned it and why does he only bring it up now. He still continues to be discreet about his actions despite clueing you in with small tiny drops of information. But you didn't want the info, you wanted to know when it would end. "Then is it more important than you and I?"
It was as important on its own as he was. And since they were tied, if he were to say it is then he'd be saying he's worth more than you. He wouldn't want to put you down. No, you meant the world to him, you were so beautiful, you were wonderful and full of life but in a way he felt like he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve this warmth, your warmth. You were the world but his vision was much bigger, he was a god, this is his birthright. If you'd listen to him, if you could understand, if you could trust him. Trust him blindly without a second thought. That's what he wishes to ask of you, he doesn't want to cause you any more pain but this is necessary for him to achieve. "Yes. It is."
He didn't need to hear your words to know how you felt, every part of your face said it. The misery, the burning, aching misery that swirled within those orbs of yours. How your body tensed, your jaw clenched tighter, and your brows raising higher in astonishment. A laugh leaves your throat, a scratchy bitter chuckle, and he hates it. "I see. Okay, I get it." It was clear he had already decided to dispose of you, that whatever this other thing was is more valuable, it matters most, not you. You feel as though you've been shot, the emptiness filled with disappointment and shame at him and yourself for ever thinking he'd have chosen you. You step away, and move towards the door. He says your name, it sounds almost pitiful, and you are hesitant to glimpse at him. You're weak, at this point what do you have to lose. You both know the end.
So you turn, you face him once more. Now you are the one to observe him, watch the way his face scrunches at your expression, how his fists are clenched. His mouth agape as no words leave his mouth yet you see it in his eyes, how he pleads you to stay, begs you to forgive him. You wish to think it isn't how he said it was. Scaramouche always had a tongue that defied his thoughts. But you wanted to hear him say it was you. It never came. No words came. Nothing but silent mouthing, as though he was whispering to you, knowing that if he spoke his voice would break. 'I love you.' And you see the way his shoulders drop, his orbs following the slightest of movements you make. You can't find it in yourself to say the words back. You only gaze at him as though he was the worst man you had known, and he might've been. To your disdain, you didn't hate him at that moment, you pitied him, and you hated yourself for feeling sympathy for that man.
You left without a word said, but you both knew each other well enough to know what you both were thinking.
After that, everything was quiet. There was no more tension. You didn't bother asking the Archons or a deity for help. What good would it be to ask a higher being for help, does that not only prove how dire your situation is, how pathetic it is? You didn't need the Archons, you will adapt as you always do.
One day, everything became all the more quiet. And you realised how much comfort you took in his company. You were truly alone now. It's just you.
You stare blankly at his door. You sit against it like you have done a thousand times, and you pretend he is just working again.
Not once did you enter his room. You didn't want to know what he took, because you feel its empty space in your chest, and you didn't care for what he left because you felt it in the silence as you monitored the items he touched for any traces of him like an owl, never blinking.
You were once again at his door, knocking thrice and awaiting any sound to erupt from the room but you only had the peace of no noise return. And yet you hated it, you felt frustrated. To you it was never placid because you could hear your thoughts echoing throughout the rooms, his name tormenting you, following you. How could one forget him, with a face like that, a personality so annoying like that? And yet you loved it; you loved him.
The day he left the snow had already erased all footprints he might've left behind, you would think that maybe that's why you feel his ghost here constantly. But it's likely your delusions.
Today, you'd enter. You wanted to feel him. To remember what it was like to have him. You didn't wish to forget him. The numbing coldness of the metal on your palm became evermore permanent as your hand seemed to refuse to budge. What had he done to have put me in such a state? You think it's funny.
You turn the knob, and push the door open.
White. So much white. The glacial weather was near enough to numb you, but that was not why you stood paralysed. You felt tears twinkle in your vision, before departing and travelling down your cheeks.
Snow. It's all snow.
He had left the window open. God, he probably never left out the door.
You stayed still as you processed this. Your mouth agape as your eyes stayed glued onto the sight before you.
It always snows in Snezhnaya, so why was this so much more painful?
It's torturous. It's horrible. It's pure torment. Yet it is such a beautiful sight to you, it is home to you and you hate it.
Your eyes wander around to where all the snow particles have fled to: The bed he slept on, the cabinets, his desk. The desk he worked at.
You walk closer, you feel your feet dip into the snow. You study his table, only a match, a bottle of ink, and a letter. He left a doll next to it.
You spent the entire day there, cleaning the snow out, and you left everything else untouched as you shut yourself in there just as he had, reading the letter where he had written it and then, you cried. You cried till your weeps went mute. Your attempts to stop your tears continuously failed. You hate him. Every aspect of him. And you hated how well you knew him.
'My dear,
I know it's shameful of me to say goodbye like this. I don't want to see what face you make.
I'm going to Sumeru, I'm going to fulfil what I was meant to be. Then, I'll come for you.
I'll be stronger then, I'll protect you from everyone, so this time let me save you instead. Wait for me, I won't take long.
I love you. Next time I see you I'll seriously say it. Thank you and I'm sorry, for all that I caused you. I'll make sure to repent with the rest of my life.
(I hope you like the puppet. It was made for you.)
Yours Truly,
Scara.'
It seemed that the weather only grew colder day by day in Snezhnaya. You had developed a pretty steady routine which was unusual for your normal self and today was your special day, today you got to spend a day treating yourself to all things nice. You've worked hard this week after all.
So, you walked out to the hallway dressed and ready to go, hurrying past the guest room and putting your shoes on, wrapping yourself with a scarf as your gloves turned the knob of your door. You leaped out of the house excitedly, only to catch yourself on your foot as you found someone standing at the right of your door.
A beautiful face was what you were met with, you felt the air knock out of you as you stumbled back. You didn't spot how the man smirked at the sight of this, nor would you know the relief it gave him to see you still the same. "Did I frighten you?" He wanted to test the waters, just out of curiosity, just so maybe, maybe it's fine, maybe you're an exception.
"No- I mean, yes? You did. I'm sorry, who are you?" For a second his face dropped into a sour expression, but he returned himself to his previous composer. "You ought to be ashamed. To think you'd forget me after I told you to wait for me." His words were a whisper but despite their gentle tone their weight laid heavy on him.
"Pardon? I couldn't hear you…"
He resented himself for what he was going to say and he was internally cringing and god he hates you for having him say something so dumb, but if this was a sick joke maybe he should appease you.
"I'm just a wanderer, that's all. Sorry, you wouldn't happen to know where I could find the best goulash?"
"The best goulash in Snezhnaya?! That's a hard thing to decide… Well, there's a diner down far by the town's heart. I'm heading there so you could join me if you'd like?"
Kind-hearted as always. An idiot to the core. But so was he for thinking that you'd offer him, a stranger, your secret recipe. Yeah, he should've cherished it when he had it. It was good, really good, and your face was pretty too, stupidly pretty.
He studied your outfit. Layered and thick as always, a contrast to his. You had yourself packed warm but that wasn't what he was focused on, you had a messenger bag strapped across your chest, and off it he saw the puppet he gave you. It was his.
"Where'd you get that?" He asked, pointing at it and ignoring your offer.
You found everything about this so-called wanderer odd. But when he asked about the puppet you had attached to your bag you couldn't quite recall when you got it. "I'm not sure… maybe it came with the bag? Sorry, is there anything else I can help you with?"
"No, nothing else. One thing though," You piped your head up, and he swallowed his pride. He didn't want to lie to you, even if you don't remember it now, he doesn't want to lie to you. But he never realised how much of a difficult thing to say it was, especially when you don't remember. Could he say he loves you, does he have the right anymore?
"Wanderer?"
"I… love you." He could feel that same heat that would always arise within him coming back once fourth. He tilted his ichimegasa down to hide his face, spitting out his next words quickly. "I'll be departing now!" This had been the first time that you knew that you saw him flustered, or that you've met him which made his words more absurd to you, but you felt almost flattered to be told that by someone so pretty. It was such a simplistic way of thinking. Then his words register once more, and you look at the chained puppet, unlocking it as you gaze at it. How alike they were.
How strange, how weird it was, the gaps in your memories, the guest room in your house, the puppet that looks like him, him acting so weird towards you, so casual.
You begin to wonder if this was really a mistake.
Despite the flustered emotions he first felt, he quickly let them pass, realising you'd simply think nothing more of him than him being some creep. Ha, to think he'd settle for such a thing so easily.
To think he'd settle for this so easily. What was he meant to do? What should he do? Tears welled within his eyes as he walked, and he hoped that even if the snow covers his trails it never erases what's already beneath.
He made a gigantic mistake. One he has to atone with the rest of his life. Unfortunately, it appears it isn't with you. He was ready to spend the next hundred years being pestered by you. But to be rid of that was an even worse punishment.
The wanderer won't tamper with your life. He wouldn't do such a thing to you. Despite his many wants to, his need to be with you, he won't. Because it is he himself who made himself land in such a position. Maybe rather than having shown up like that he should've recreated everything from the beginning, maybe then you would behave just as your stupid self normally would. Supplying him with warmth, dumb comments, annoyance, affection, care, humanity. Humanity. God, you had already made him a person long ago.
What should he do, what should a lost wanderer do when his home doesn't look at him the same. When those familiar eyes only return an unknowing look, a clueless, foreign stare?
How long does it take to rebuild a home, to rebuild the love you once carried for him?
The snow continues to seep into the room like sand filling up an hourglass. The doors knob has icicles on its insides and the inks long gone solid. All that remains is the opened envelope and the letter it contained, with stained tears. Another tightly sealed letter beside it.
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kabukuniscararie · 11 months
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Him. Who awoke, abandoned and betrayed by his Creator with little to no understanding of the world. Afraid and uncomfortable of the rain, thunder and lightning. Anything that reminds him of her.
Even himself...
~Kabukimono, Kunikuzushi, Scaramouche, Wanderer.~
Someone please make this a fanfic. He deals with it alone or/and we're with him to comfort him IDC I JUST NEED TO CRY RN.
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cherieiu · 1 year
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a forgotten memory.
a/n : ikik reader is supposed to forget abt scara but who cares. theyre a special case in this story.
scara x gn!reader fic
warnings : angst and some fluff?
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it couldn't be. you tried to convince yourself that this was all a dream, though the tears flowing from your eyes betrayed your emotions. they looked the same, except for the aesthetics of the clothing. confused eyes met your teary ones as the person helped you up, a soft grasp on your waist. the longing to hug him tugged at your heart, to hold him in your arms once more.
" miss, are you alright? you don't seem well. "
the voice you longed to hear sounded like a melody to you, suppressing the ache in your heart for only a moment.
" Kuni? do you not remember me? it's me! (name)! "
the figure only shook his head softly, pity filling his heart as you looked at him desperately to hear the answer you were yearning for. you were so close to him, yet he was still out of reach. tears overflowed your eyes once more, your heart felt hollow, incomplete. oh, how you desired for him to recognize you, even if it meant sacrificing everyone you love.
Kunikuzushi could only sympathize, despite the urge in his heart to put on an act and pretend that he remembered you. he pulled you in a tight embrace, whispering apologies for not being able to remember you. the feeling felt familiar, it felt right for you to be in the comfort of his arms.
" i'm sorry, please, forgive me for not remembering you. i promise i will one day. "
right now, you were more than content to wait an eternity for your lover to remember you.
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im so sorry for not being able to post because of exams and stuff ffhdjfniyshdujluo. idk when i'll do chap 2 cause rn i have lost all motivation for that book.
please don't respost or translate my works without permission!
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kainyte · 1 year
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left ⎯ ft. scaramouche fluff, wee bit of angst if u squint
it was just a small misunderstanding, and yet kunikuzushi is left in tears.
notes : first post on this blog
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kunikuzushi knew you like the back of his hand. he knew what all your little faces meant, from small pouts to the twitch of an eyebrow. so he knew you were upset with him tonight, yet he never thought you'd react with this.
kunikuzushi was asleep, his body curled under the covers. the blanket was tucked under his chin and over his shoulders. unconsciously, his pale hands reached towards you, yearning for your sweet warmth. yet he couldn't find you.
his eyes shot open, franticly searching for you. usually, you could be found asleep, beside him. but not tonight. your side of the bed had been left empty, the sheets messy and wrinkled. kunikuzushi remembered slipping into bed with you; you'd curled up snugly against his chest right after laying down.
where are you? he scrambles off the bed, almost tripping over the hem of his pants in the process. "[name]," he calls out softly, "a-are you there?" no response. panic was beginning to stir, a sick feeling sitting in the pit of his gut.
"[name]?!" he called again, a little louder this time. still, no response. tears begin to well in the corners of his stark blue eyes. kunikuzushi's mind is spiralling. what if they left? did I do something wrong? he stumbles, searching behind doors and under beds.
kunikuzushi collapses onto the shared bed once more, "[n-name]" he whispers, tears freely streaming down his cheeks, "please don't leave me..."
"I would never leave you, kuni." you bring your hands to his face, gently cupping his tear-stained cheeks, "I love you, kuni." he sniffles burying his head into your chest. his arms reach around you, trapping you in his hug. you stroke his hair gently, trying to cal him down.
"I thought you'd left me," kunikuzushi sniffles, "w-where were you?" he looks up at you with teary eyes, a small pout adorning his lips. "thought you'd left me..." he mumbles again.
"I was thirsty," you respond, "so I went downstairs to get some water." you let your hands trail from his face to his shoulders, gently resting your hands on them. "I'm sorry if i worried you."
"I-" kunikuzushi whispers, "no, it's fine. 'm just glad you're here." his arms tighten around you, "can we go back to bed, please..."
you press a kiss to his hairline, closing your eyes and leaning into him, "of course, darling." he leans off you and grabs your hand, slowly leading you towards the shared bed.
you push the blankets to the side, giving space for your lover to lie. you lay beside him, letting his arms wrap around you once more. "I love you, kuni," you mumble.
kunikuzushi rests his forehead against yours, letting you gaze into his stark blue eyes. he smiles.
"I love you too. [name]."
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© kainyte do not repost, copy, edit or translate
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kazuhiokkotsu · 11 months
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✤------------------------------------------✤
◈Childhood Rivals◈
✤------------------------------------------✤
<𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫>
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐭. 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐩. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲. 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭? 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭? 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥?
𝐀/𝐧 : 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞 😭
✤------------------------------------------✤
➣𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷
➣𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸
!~𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗~!
✤------------------------------------------✤
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inazuman-vagrant · 1 year
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ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
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Scaramouche let out a groan, slowly rising from the rubble in front of his god form. His hand went to his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut as his head began pounding, most definitely from the fall he took just a few moments before.
He reluctantly opened his eyes and his gaze fell upon the traveler, their pet- whatever it's name was, and there god of wisdom herself. In her hands was the Electro gnosis, his gnosis. Or- I guess it wasn't his anymore really.
Scaramouche tried to get up, to move or to do anything, to grab the gnosis back from the god but his body refused to get up for such a reason. He was frustrated, the gnosis being so close he could easily grab it once again but he knew deep down, in his heart that didn't exist, that he had lost. What he thought was his ambition faded away in almost an instant.
A single frustrated tear slid down his cheek as he finally stood up, his knees shaking a bit as he stumbled away from the god, the traveler and the gnosis.
Scaramouche walked for what felt like hours, although in reality he lost count of the time ages ago. He was barely paying attention to his surroundings as he walked further and further away from Sumeru city. Although he did notice the sky finally begin to darken, the color shifting from a blue to a deep purple as the sun set past the horizon.
Scaramouche didn't have the need for sleep, nor did he feel tired, however today his body felt exhausted.
He let out an exasperated sigh as he laid down in a grassy field just by the border of Sumeru and the Chasm, his eyes refusing to shut as he stared up into the sky.
"Did the stars always twinkle this brightly?" he muttered to himself, "or is it just the gods above mocking my defeat."
.
.
.
Walking through the starry night, a traveler wanders their way around the chasm. Eyes wide and full of light as the stars above them sing.
Soft footsteps and the sound of nature fills the air as they walk towards Sumeru. They were going to find their traveler friend and Paimon, and bring them the gifts they had made.
Suddenly, they notice a somewhat familiar face on the ground in front of them.
...Is that... the Balladeer?
It was, and their eyes widened to see his unfamiliar clothing and his state of being.
Why was he out here? Alone, nonetheless.
"...When I decided to go listen to the stars sing, I didn't think their song would lead me to you."
Scaramouche's eyes looked up at the traveler, his expression staying the same deadpan expression he's had since he walked off earlier that day.
"Oh... Come to mock my defeat?" He grumbled, his eyes shifting back away from the traveler and back up to the stars.
Scaramouche stayed silent for quite some time, thoughts spinning through his head about what to do or how to act in this situation.
"You've met her, haven't you." He finally spoke, his expression unchanging, "my mother, Ei."
He finally sat back up from the grass, his hands on either side of him in the grass. "Did she tell you why she abandoned me? Hell, did she ever mention my name..." he muttered, trailing off into his own thoughts.
Scaramouche could already feel a mix of emotions inside of him.
Anger? Resentment? Longing? He couldn't really pinpoint any one emotion.
.
.
.
TBC because I have run out of time. I promise this is fluff eventually, apologies everyone! <3
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