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hyacinthus-the-flower · 3 years

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150 followers, woooo!

Thank you guys for being there for me, I truly do not know what I would have done without you.

So for this post I'm uhh.... I'm gonna tell my mutuals how much they mean to me

Starting with my very first follower, @wolfstarrysky Bitto, you've been there for me since the very beginning, supported me for more than 6 months now, and I don't think I would have come this far without you. Love ya♥️

Then my twinsie, @momo-all-the-way Momo, you may deny being a fluff ball, but deep down, you are one. I'm not saying you aren't the silent killer! You can be both at the same time. Look at Basilton. Also thank you for supporting me for this long and being by my side virtually. Love ya💕

@percabeth-stan-4-ever I know we don't talk besides the occasional ask, but seeing you go on reblogging sprees makes me smile every time. Thank you for bringing so much positivity to my dash. Love ya❤️

@flxss-bxbblxs hey lil sib. Thank you for being there for me, and helping me meet such amazing people in your Discord server. Truly would not have made it without you. Love ya💗

@sherlockisactuallyagaysname Pista, you're as crazy as me. And I love you for it. Thanks for helping me meet such amazing people through your Discord server. And thank you for helping me whenever I needed you. Love ya❤️

@holding-infinity-and-a-book thank you for answering my crazy asks and supporting me. Also, *steals the yeeted infinity because you kicked me out of the neighborhood*. Love ya💙

@asunshinepuff *singing to the tune of You're Welcome from Moana* What can I say except, I thank you! For all the wonderful things you did! I thank you! For bringing positivity to my dash! I thank you! For answering my crazy asks! I thank you! I thank you! Love ya💕

@anxiousbimess Dude, thank you so so much for supporting me. I really enjoy your blog. Keep bringing everyone who follows you great posts! Love ya♥️

@weirdbusywonder thank you for letting me show my crazy side! I don't think anyone else would have survived it. And thank you for keeping me happy with your shitposts and memes when I'm sad. Love you frem❣️

@keenmarvellover dude, you've been there for me the most out of anyone in the Discord server. Thank you. Sending you loads of hugs because I wouldn't have made it without you. Love ya💗

@reddish-green-personality you don't know how much your music helps me everyday. Seriously. Thanks dude. You're one of my favourite mutuals and your posts always bring a smile to my face. Love ya♥️

@gaymieee Thanks for being gay. And being very funny. Sending loads of hugs(if you're okay with them). Please do not calm down. Love ya❤️

@lloomy I think this gif captures my feelings about you perfectly

Sending you loads of hugs and love💗

@cipher-dorito I don't remember how we became mutuals, but I'm glad we did. Thank you for making me smile every time I sent you an ask. Love ya💕

@whythefuckdoiexist you're precious. Your reblogging sprees are usually so positive and funny and you always make me smile. Thank you. Love ya❣️

@wanna-buy-some-lettuce-kid kurkure! Thank you for being my other crazy friend and my first Instagram follower! Your doggo is the cutest. Love ya💗

Finally, @acereader Dadi, I really don't know how to thank you. You've always been there for me, more than my irl siblings have every been. You're more like my older sibling than my brothers could ever be(still calling you Dadi tho). Thank you

Also special mentions to @didyouputyournameinthegobi @crescentmoonsparkles @uvindi @extremelyweirdgirlinaweirdworld @something--pretentious @your-very-rude-neighborhood-ace @supermeh-krishnah @adoginthemanger @divschant @johnlock-rocks

I know we don't talk that much but I love y'all 💕

Please let me know if I'm forgetting anyone, I'd love to include them!

And thanks to all my followers. I know we don't talk much but I still appreciate you so much.

#150 followers #yay!

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kayparker20 · 3 years

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To Honor Sensei - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Dinner at Kurenai’s

FFN | AO3

It’s been a couple years now. Kakashi mostly had the parenting thing down, with his quirks and oddities mixed in of course. Naruto was almost always a happy child, excited to do just about anything. He was good friends with Shikamaru and Choji, and even their friend Ino. Obviously he made friends with all three being as those clans are so close.

At this moment, Kakashi was lounging in his bed, reading one of Jiraiya’s books. He figured since now the profit from them paid for a lot of his life, he might as well read them as a thanks. However, it was never mentioned by Jiraiya that his series was smutty. But it was also witty and humorous, and had a decent plot line aside from the porn. None of that stopped Kurenai from glaring at him when he had them public though.

Naruto had been in his bed, playing with some stuffed fox that Kakashi got him. He couldn’t help getting him fox things, most of them were adorable. Might not be the only reason.

“Kashi!” Naruto called out from his bed.

The white haired nin smiled softly before meandering over to Naruto’s bedside. “What’s up, kiddo?”

He watched Naruto as he beamed in his little fox onesie. The irony wasn’t lost on Kakashi, it was the whole reason he bought it. He was happy when Choza found it just as humorous.

“Hungry.” Naruto stated blunty. “Noodles?”

The toddler bounced on the bed, propelled with his excitement at the mere thought of ramen. He watched Kakashi with big wide eyes that were the colour of the sky.

Kakashi watched him with interest before shaking his head and laughing softly.

He brought home Ichiraku one time, and now no other food exists to his little brother. “Naruto, you do know there is food besides ramen, right?”

Naruto frowned and huffed. “Chouji likes red food.”

“You mean barbeque, right?” Kakashi chuckled once more before swooping him up in his arms. “Besides, your Aunt Kurenai is making dinner and inviting everyone over to eat.”

Naruto’s blue eyes brightened. “Kurkur!”

“Yes, Kurkur. Now let’s get you dressed, huh? Wouldn’t want to be late, now would we?”

As if they weren’t already.

He set the voracious boy down. “Go use the bathroom first, remember? Always go before we leave.”

Naruto toddled into the bathroom and proceeded to use his little kid toilet.

Kakashi gathered up a set of clothes. A yellow shirt with the Uzumaki emblem on the front in red, and the Hatake fields on the back in black. A pair of black pants and sandals. Naruto came out of the bathroom and sat on his bed eagerly.

“Kashi?”

The nin hummed in response at the child’s inquiry as he began redressing him, which was a struggle being as Naruto never wanted to stay still. It had become a silent game(or struggle) the two began to play over the years. “One of these days, very, very soon, you’re gonna learn to dress yourself. He grumbled softly under his breath.

“Choji and Shika be there?”

Kakashi shrugged. “I’m not sure, but maybe.” He slid his shirt over his head and shimmied his pants onto his legs. “Now come on, get your shoes on.”

Naruto gladly put on his shoes and ran for the door. Kakashi silently followed him and down the stairs of the apartment complex. Once they got outside, Naruto stopped and looked up at Kakashi. His eyes were less vibrant now, uncertainty and even fear lying in them.

Seeing those emotions cross his usually cheery little brother always brought a discomfort to him, but he couldn’t do much to stop it besides comforting him.

Kakashi held out his hand and Naruto grabbed it tightly. He stayed close to Kakashi’s leg as they walked through the village. Kakashi hated how as soon as they left home, his enthusiasm seemed to dull. At least until they reach the destination, like Choza’s or Kurenai’s.

Despite the hokage making it clear Naruto was a hero, and should be remembered as such, of course the villagers couldn’t see it that way. As Naruto got old enough, the Hokage put out an order to not talk about the fox attack in relation to Naruto, as well as a young child being the Fourth’s son. It was done to protect Naruto, from inside and outside of the village.

It angered Kakashi, but now it was different. Naruto could see how people kept their distance from them. The glares, the fear, all that judgement. He didn’t understand it, but it hurt him. The words people dared to throw in the direction of a two year old, who literally doesn’t know anything about the why. Who is literally just an innocent, bubbly little kid. Who isn’t at fault for the circumstances he had at his birth.

“Demon!” A trader.

“Stay away from that child, Ayame!” A mother.

“Don’t come near me!” Another trader.

People shamelessly shying away from them, avoiding them blatantly. Glares, looks of disgust, of fear.

It continues.

Kakashi openly scowled at every single person who dared vocalize their judgements. He felt a burning anger in his chest, taking everything in him to not retaliate back with his own thoughts of their character.

“Naruto!” A cheerful tone.

Kakashi looked towards the noise, before raising his eyebrows. He was pretty sure he had never seen someone who had naturally pink hair, and this was a toddler, so it almost had to be natural. He hadn’t recognized her, but he knew the blonde girl holding her hand was none other than Ino Yamanaka. Obviously Naruto knew her from his time at the Akimichi’s house, just like he knew Shikamaru Nara for the same reason.

“Sakura! Ino!” Naruto’s eyes were excited and he instantly let go of Kakashi's hand to run towards the pair of girls.

Kakashi grinned under his mask. Of course the girl with pink hair is named Sakura. It’s almost too cliche. She sported a red bow tied in her hair.

Kakashi followed, easily keeping up with him and waved at Inoichi. “Yo.”

Inoichi nodded with a small smile. “We’re headed to Kurenai’s. Choza said to make sure I brought friends for Naruto.”

Kakashi gave an eye crease towards the clan head. “Of course he did. I’m glad.”

Kakashi watched the three little kids as they talked and chatted as best they could. “Who’s the one with the pink hair?”

Inoichi shrugged. “Ino just met her at the park a couple months ago and they made quick friends.”

The group continued walking on to Kurenai’s.

Kakashi and his friends were all about 15-16 now. Kurenai just got her own place and makes a fuss about her friends coming over every so often. She makes a point to have a little mini family out of their few friends.

“Naruto, you’re goofy!” Sakura giggled and held his hand lightly.

Naruto just smiled and kept walking until he recognized Kurenai’s house. “Kurkur!”

She was standing outside, and knelt down as Naruto ran towards her and she swept him up in her arms. “Hi, Naruto! How are you doing?”

He bounced in her arms and kissed her face before hugging her back tightly. “I’m doing good!” He never once lost hold of him, not only being a ninja, but very accustomed to Naruto’s rambunctious nature.

“That’s good!” She pinched his cheek. She looked at Kakashi, and then to Inoichi with the two girls.

She nodded towards her door. “Choji and Shikamaru are here with Choza-sensei and Shikaku. Plenty of food for everyone!”

Inoichi motioned for the girls to run inside as Kurenai set Naruto down to follow them. Once the kids were out of ear shot, Inoichi looked to Kakashi.

“The villagers. They still don’t accept them, don’t they?”

Kakashi stiffened at the question before Kurenai sighed.

“That explains why you seem to be scowling. What happened?”

The silver haired ninja scoffed. “The usual. Calling him a demon, mothers shuffling their children away. Except now, he understands it. Well, somewhat. Enough for me to see the hurt look on his face.”

Inoichi nodded sadly. “I saw you guys before Sakura spotted you. He clings to you so tightly. At least he has you.”

Kakashi’s expression softened. “He has more than me.” As if on queue, he heard the children squeal with excitement, giggling of all kinds following.

Inoichi smiled as he laughed softly. “I was just dropping the girls off. Ibiki needs me for Intelligence. Choza will take them back home.”

Kurenai and Kakashi walked into the house to the site of toy ninja warfare. Kakashi’s eyes widened as he saw the little rubber kunai and shuriken being thrown and dodged about the living room. One bounced off Naruto's forehead and landed on the floor, just for him to pick up the now unclaimed piece of rubber.

“Kashi! It’s like yours!” Naruto held up a kunai, beaming with joy before throwing it, horribly incorrect, at Shikamaru.

Shikaku just laughed at his lazy boy who grumbled in response.

“Shika, get up! Play with us!” Ino stamped her foot at the young Nara.

Kakashi watched the little group of children playing together, and how not one of them was told to stay away from Naruto. Not one of them shying away from him. All of them just being kids, well. As much as kids could be such as ninjas. It was only a matter of time before they would be going to the academy, and sometimes he wondered if he should send Naruto.

Gai was next to him before he knew it, distracted by the sight of the children. “Just what you always hoped for Naruto, isn’t it, Kakashi?” He patted him on the back. “He’ll always have you. But he has them now too, he’ll never be alone.” He smiled way too bright in Kakashi’s opinion but he just nodded softly.

Kurenai started getting plates out to start portioning out the rice and chicken she had made. “Put the kids at the table.”

Kakashi helped set the table up for the kids. “Mini nins, food is ready!”

Asuma came inside with a bag in each hand, smelling of smoke before smiling. “I have fresh squeezed lemonade!”

“Cool!” Choji said as he ran up to be the first to sit at the table.

All the kids sat at the table together and blew on their food as they ate. Asuma poured them small glasses of lemonade to give to each kid. “There you go!” He ruffled Naruto’s hair affectionately.

As the kids sat in the kitchen everyone sat in the living room to eat their portion.

Kakashi was brimming with happiness, true and full emotion. Ever since he took in his sensei’s son, he’d felt a little happier. But seeing this, feeling like they were at a family gathering, hearing him giggle and laugh and chatter with other kids, warmed his heart. The thing he thought both he and Naruto had lost the night he was born, it was right here in front of them.

“This… This is what Sensei would have wanted for him.” He said softly as his eyes were glued to the children at the table.

Shikaku and Choza nodded softly. “You’re doing well, Kakashi. We’re proud of you, and he would be too.” The elder Nara said.

He knew it meant something, that Nara didn’t put out compliments and comfort very often. He could be a bit of the rougher kind. He always wanted to think he was doing well, because he did his best to take care of Naruto every single day. Even when the little boy acted like such a brat, he just reminded himself that Minato took care of him. And Kakashi knew he was far from easy.

“Won’t be long before those little ones are at the academy. This upcoming generation is something. Every clan has a kid that will be in the same class, plus a few.” Choza mused.

“You know it’s going to us that will be their sensei.” Kurenai said softly. “Wouldn’t it be funny if they put Naruto on your team?”

Kakashi shrugged. “It’s not like I won’t be training him at home, right?” His exposed eye creased in response. “Speaking of, I need to know where those toys came from.”

Shikaku laughed. “I found them at the weapons district. I thought it was funny but those kids sure love them.”

“Kashi!” Naruto called from the table.

Kakashi looked towards his brother, who had the brightest little smile on his face. He held the fork in his hand, a piece of chicken on the prongs. His eyes were filled with so much joy. It was one of the happiest moments for Kakashi.

“What is it, Naruto?” He inquired from his spot on the floor.

“Dinner is good!” Naruto giggled before turning back to continue eating.

Kurenai smiled and Kakashi just shook his head amiably. “Tell Kurenai that, she cooked it, kiddo.”

Kurenai got up from her spot and placed a kiss on Naruto’s forehead. “I’m glad you like it hon.”

Soon after the kids finished eating and found their way back to the living room.

Another rubber ninja war started between them. Kakashi tried to show Naruto how to handle a kunai correctly, but his little brother just throwing it like a ball. Kakashi shook his head with a small laugh as one of the rubber toys bounced off his head.

“I’m sorry, Kakashi!” Ino squeaked softly.

He ruffled the girls hair. “You’re okay, Ino. It was a decent shot.”

They sat around the floor, all laying against Kakashi. Clearly, it was definitely nap time. He laid on the floor as Naruto nestled into his side. The other followed, all clinging to the copy nin in some form. As soon as their snores started, his own followed not too long after.

Kurenai took a picture, promising Shikamaru and Choza to get copies for them and Inoichi as well. She fetched a blanket to drape over them all and sat on the couch next to Asuma, very pleased.

“It’s just like a little family. If anyone would nap with the children, of course it would be Kakashi, huh?” Asuma shrugged and laughed quietly.

Choza smiled kindly before it turned sad. “It’s a shame that the majority of the village still continues to treat Naruto poorly. He is the very reason we even survived that night.”

Shikaku shook his head. “People will forever judge what they fear, and they fear what they don’t understand.” He looked down, seeing how Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru cuddled on one side of Kakashi, while Naruto and Sakura were on the other. “I’ll bet he’ll be one hell of a ninja, one day, all of them will. Especially with your generation training them.” He grinned.

A knock sounded on the door and Kurenai looked in it’s direction curiously. “I didn’t think anyone else was coming. Maybe it’s Genma?” The chocolate haired women got up from her seat and went to open the door.

A red lined face with a lecherous smile greeted her happily. “The Third told me if Kakashi wasn’t home, it was likely he was here.”

“Jiraiya ,it’s been a long time.” Shikaku spoke from the couch as he heard the familiar voice.

Kurenai smiled and opened the door. “He’s here, currently napping with a clan full of children!”

She led him into her house and into the living room, showcasing the scene of a napping Kakashi with a bunch of toddlers curled up to him.

Jiraiya smiled softly, before shaking his head. “I just wanted to check in on Naruto. He’s gotten so big!”

Kurenai nodded softly. “There’s some chicken and rice in the kitchen if you would like some.”

Jiraiya nodded as he got himself some food. “You know, I have a picture of Minato somewhere napping just like that with his team…” Jiraiya spoke softly. “When he had first got Kakashi, Obito, and Rin. Except Kakashi isn’t exactly cuddling but he refused any sort of physical contact.” The elder nin chuckled softly.

He sat down and ate his serving. “How is Kakashi, himself?”

He turned his gaze towards his friends.

“Kakashi is so much better. He takes Naruto to clean Rin and Obito’s graves. And to the fourth’s grave.” Gai gushed. “It’s terribly saddening to Kakashi that Naruto can’t know the fourth was his father, but he tells Naruto everyday how much his parents love him.” His eyes were tearing up with passion.

Asuma sighed before looking at Jiraiya. “He’s doing pretty good, considering. I’d actually say he shows more emotions now than before,” The young Sarutobi laughed. “He adores Naruto.”

Kurenai nodded in affirmation of the first two’s words. She looked at Choza and Shikaku. “He really started to get better once Naruto got some friends, starting Choji, which obviously led to Ino and Shikamaru as well.”

Jiraiya smiled. “Of course Kakashi started with Choza.” He laughed softly. “You’re probably the least intimidating leader of the clans.”

“Choza-sensei is wonderful and kind hearted, and he would have never turned Naruto away!” Gai proclaimed, causing his sensei to laugh.

Kakashi slowly opened his eyes, and began to carefully extract himself from the future ninjas around him. He rubbed his exposed eye bleary, before seeing Jiraiya. His eyes widened in surprise before he gave an eye crease.

“Yo.” He waved softly before standing up. “Did you know they make rubber kunai toys?”

Jiraiya looked at the teen before shaking his head and laughing obnoxiously. “I did, most ninja families buy them for their kids.”

“Naruto refuses to even try throwing it correctly.” Kakashi sighed.

He looked down at Naruto, or rather all of the children as a warmth filled his heart. “They’re all just so…”

“Innocent.” Shikaku finished with a smile. “They haven’t seen anything cruel this world has to offer, like we have.”

Kakashi sighed softly before looking at Jiraiya. “Is something up? You don’t usually visit without a purpose.”

“Actually, nothing is wrong now. I just wanted to see the kiddo, and check on you.”

Kakashi nodded softly. Looking down at Naruto, made him wish for Minato at this moment. How it should be him and Kushina enjoying moments like this, not him. Jiraiya checks on them, not him. Naruto probably would be at the Uchiha’s clan’s house right now, because Kushina and Mikoto were such good friends. Sometimes he wondered if he should reach out to them, but then he remembered they all have a distrust for him. That some of them think he stole Obito’s eyes…

“What’s with the sudden forlorn look?” Shikaku asked.

Kakashi sighed softly before shaking his head. “Nothing, just… It’s nothing.”

Kakashi gently picked up Naruto. The toddler grumbled softly in his sleep but did not wake up. “It was nice coming over dinner and watching him play with his friends. Thank you, everyone.” He paused before giving an eye crease and walking out of Naruto’s house.

Kurenai paused before sighing softly. “There’s moments like this, where he checks out for a second, and then leaves… They aren’t often, and I think it’s something specific.”

Jiraiya smiled sadly. “I think I know what it is…” He soon followed the young ninja back home.

#teen kakashi #naruto fanfiction #kayparkerwrites #family #kakashi and naruto #kakashi hatake #naruto uzumaki #fanfiction #baby naruto #to honor sensei

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teenthoughtsblog · 3 years

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FRENEMIES

I am Arunima (please use Aru to address me). I am thirteen, and I go to school like any normal teen. In 8th grade, it’s like a whirlpool of emotions and thoughts. I feel obligated to cram as much education as I can into my brain and push forward for these last few years of school. But that being said, these are my last few years of school and possibly of my childhood. Every day I’m confused about the way forward, and today was no different.

It was like any usual day. I struggled to wake up and get ready for school. When I boarded my school bus I dozed off as per usual, catching up on last night’s sleep. The assembly was no different with many students yawning and chatting amongst themselves. The first few classes went by in a blur (a rather boring one at that) I struggled to stay awake, let alone consciously pay attention (all courtesy of the late-night binge-watching of stranger things). As I slept the teacher must have yapped about something important because when she questioned me about the lesson, and I, flustered, answered incorrectly, she had a look of heeding malice on her cold and bony face. In homeroom, we discussed our lives’ regrets and satisfactions. At the moment I was bored, and couldn’t care less about what we did in homeroom. I remember my answer being something as general as not picking up a particular hobby.

On the bus ride home, while snacking on kurkures, and doing my homework, I couldn’t focus.

Normally I would finish all the work given on my ride home and laze around in the afternoon, but that day fate was made for me to keep getting distracted. After a few attempts of doing my homework and packing my bag, I just gave up and decided to have dinner and go to bed early. An hour went by and I still couldn’t get myself to close my eyes and get rest for more than ten minutes. There was a cold lump in my throat, and it was not because of the unnaturally low temperature of my thermostat (as put by my beloved mom). After tossing and turning in bed for quite a while, I realized that all this drama was because of the small, insignificant discussion in homeroom.

Without me putting much thought into it, that one question had seeped in and manipulated my whole day. Now that I sleeplessly put more thought into it, I stand corrected. My answer wouldn’t be something as brief and over the top as a missed hobby. It would be something in a completely different dimension. Something many would label as childish. A FRIENDSHIP.

I met Shravya when we were both four, on our first day of kindergarten. I was a timid and observant child, and she was more on the outgoing and vivacious side. It all started when she came up to me and tugged at my braids. I went on to grab hold of her collar and poke her with all my might. That was followed by an obnoxious round of tickling each other and giggling. A bond finally formed over a tiffin exchange at recess and we instantly started to grow close.

Overtime Shravya and I became like two peas in a pod, and by the end of kindergarten, everyone knew us as the two best friends who couldn’t stand a day without talking to each other. Like everything good comes to an end, the blissful phase with Shravya came crashing down as we were separated in first grade.

Those two years with Shravya were eventful, joyous and we both enjoyed them so much that we probably still know every single incident to the last detail. We had a countless number of pool parties, sleepovers, Masterchef challenges, mud fights, and fashion shows just to name a few of our many playdate activities. Our families had also met and come close together. We had even taken a vacation to Agra together. When Shravya’s brother was born and all the spotlight was supposedly stolen from her, she would keep complaining and crying, and I, forever the listener, consoled her and offered comfort with several sleepovers and playdates.

Time passed and my friendship with Shravya remained unwavering. Over time, we did hit some rough patches, but we being best friends, we always made up. Little did I know we would go on a ballistic rollercoaster ride. After being separated from 1st to 4th grade, we were overjoyed to finally come back together in 5th grade. On the first day of class 5, we sat together and chatted a LOT. No one could blame us, because we were two besties catching up on four years of being in separate classes. We shared classwork, helped each other with homework and in general, our time was blissful.

Then musical afternoon made its appearance. In our school, it’s a huge deal where there's a theme each year and all the classes form groups and perform songs in many languages. I remember that year the theme was heartbreak. The moment the theme was announced, everyone started talking about songs and groups to form. I rushed over to Shravya and started talking about a particularly emotional song I had in mind. At the time she blatantly agreed to everything that I said to pacify my racing mind. The next day when I unexpectedly arrived at her house with high hopes, the door was slammed on my face., leaving me confused and heartbroken. The events that occurred in the next phase, which I call the frenemies phase, really matched the musical theme of that year.

From that day Shravya and I were on mutilated terms and she gave treatment worse than ignoring me, aka that silent treatment. Slowly the emotions inside me changed from heartbreak to disbelief and finally anger. I threw a huge tantrum back at home. My mind went into a frenzy.

One minute I would be ripping my hair out and cursing with an astonishing speed, and then, immediately after I’d be a heap on the floor, sobbing my heart out. Days passed like this. As much as I have reluctance admitting this, but life went on, and so did our journey. Shravya was forever the socialite and had no difficulty in moving on and making new friends. I, on the other hand, would much rather keep to myself than be the expected extrovert. In a blink of the eye, Shravya had got herself an arsenal of new friends or what many Indians would recognize as chelas. My abysmal communication skills didn’t make forming friendships any easier. Her grades hiked, whereas mine dipped, she seemed buoyant and carefree, and my emotions took a toll for the worse. In general, her life had seemingly improved, and mine had taken the other path.

This feud of sorts lasted for more than a year, and in that period both of us had changed, developed, and ameliorated. A LOT. But, as the old saying goes, never judge a book by its cover. One day I ran into the person that I had learned to despise in the past year. Shravya. But there was something wrong with the person who was one of the reasons my life had hit the downward spirals.

As I knocked on the door of an occupied bathroom stall to request the occupant to hurry up, I heard faint sobbing. Knocking harder and more persistently got her to open the door, revealing my former best friend in the most disheveled state imaginable. She was all hunched up, her neat uniform all crumpled up and her perfectly symmetrical make-up smudged. Humanity overtook the petty grudges inside me and I rushed to help her up. After getting her to calm down, she started her recital.

“I’m..I’m..I’m” sorry was what shocked me. The stubbornness Shravya had displayed in all the years of being together, made me ponder on what this girl could want to apologize for?. I, however, was broken out of my train of thought when she started to sob again. “My life looks so good on the exterior, but inside it's just a confused pile of emotions and actions. I don’t know what to do..”

My mind went into a serious conflict mode, with one half of me wanting to keep my distance because of the way I’d been treated in this past year, and the other half, the more humane half of me, wanted to hear her out and comfort the damsel in distress. Both of my sides came to a compromise of sorts when I listened to what she had to say with a sour and displeasing expression.

“After our falling out, my mom and dad were very disappointed in me for treating you like that. I got a whole lot of speeches ‘never going back on your word’, ‘always stay true to what you and loved ones believe in’, and ‘what goes around, comes back’. At this I chuckled, shaking my head. “And yes, what I did to you did come back to bite me hard.” My eyebrows fought back all my brain's warnings and shot up into a surprised expression. “After we stopped talking, I went through many friendships, but everyone would break it off abruptly in some manner.” I wanted to apologize and make things right with you, but I figured you would be mad at me.” “Well, that and your astonishingly high standing ego”. Now it was her turn to chuckle. “Yeah, well that too.”

That got me to smile the brightest I’d smiled since the day we got our not so happily ever after. “It's okay, I understand that, but I’ll never be ready to go back where we had been before you know what.” I pulled Shravya into a hug and whispered, “Like the old days, we’ve made up. AGAIN. But-“We’ll keep our distance.” She completed the sentence for me, knowing what I meant from the bottom of my heart. At that, I tightened the embrace I’d pulled her into.

What goes around, comes back, and the old days came back. The frenemies phase did both of us good.

#frenemies #short fiction #short story #teen author #blog

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afternoonblues · 3 years

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i was tagged by @gallivantingheart for this! thank you so much, tay! i would love to get to know you too!

rules: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better or catch up with!

last song: losing you by wonho :) that song has a place in my heart which no one can takeover anymore. i remember crying a lot at first when he released that song :(

last movie: narratage, a japanese indie slow-burner involving themes of conflicted feelings of love & unrequited love. the movie was so long it took me almost the whole day to finish it. i got distracted once in a while plus obviously i have a life outside all these so yeah, i wouldn`t really suggest anyone this movie but if you`re someone who likes slow burner then go on, i guess :)

currently watching: nothing in particular. i`m watching jujutsu kaisen, sk8 right now which are airing right now, basically waiting for the next episodes to air haha.

currently reading: tgcf :) i`m at book 1: chapter 21 right now. i plan to finish book 1 before i watch bangtan`s grammy ceremony :) that`s kinda a goal for now!

currently craving: it`s a snack very popular in india called kurkure. i`m kinda craving the green package one :( i tried finding one today while i was out but couldn`t see it anywhere!

tagging: tay, just like you i don`t really talk to many here. i`m the type to silently leave compliments in tags in a reblog or like do some random talk here & there once in a while so idk i`ll leave this place blank :))

#tag game!#gallivantingheart #taeveler

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zozammer · 5 years

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Re Looking

Wrote this a while back, from drafts.

Coming up with a graphic novel because the freakiest, most ghoulish thing to me, is that most of us are scared to heal.

It's crazy. That seems to me, the biggest disease - a refusal for treatment in the instance of one. A choice to live a bit cold, wounded for the sake of great art. It's interesting. I would pick it too. Who wouldn't want the mind to explode with flavour and colours and 69's? If it means severing one leg amiright?

A great artist... must be shaken by the naked truths that will not be comforted. This divine discontent, this disequilibrium, this state of inner tension is the source of artistic energy.

- (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Artists must suffer, that's why they call it pain-ting.

- (Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia).

I was writing a piece earlier about questions we ask ourselves at certain stages in our early adulthood (professional and personal). And it sort of led me to end the pity party and start looking at every phase with as much love and wholeness as I see my dad , despite the chaos. Loving my dad is an example of how I think I would like to love all bits of history in my life.

If I had to explain it in a nutshell, my dad and I let each other be.

While both of us have made mistakes and put up with each other's weaknesses blindly, dispassionately, and wholly. Neither of us, doubts the love that exists between us. We are very frank with each other and neither of us is ever scared to lose the other. Neither of us is perfect, we are very flawed and that's perfectly fine.

The movie I had playing in my head about myself and my life was very bleak and insanely critical of my environment growing up.

But nothing is ever that bleak.

My dad grew up in Benaras in the 70s where Hindus and Muslims would stab each other on streets, en route to Med School.

Moreso, my mother was tied up by militants on the day of her final board exams when she was a teenager. They had a habit of disrupting systems to create chaos in the state.

Yet, she talked about orange harvests in the summer, farm life, and crab hunting with her grandmother as a child.

Struggle can sensitize or desensitize you. That is your choice.

I walk around carrying a lot of wounds mostly because I (was/am) unable to step up to the challenges of life. No one can and should compare pain because it's a stupid way of observing it. You can go through hail and storm, but a broken heart is the hardest thing to heal. That, and maybe like a brain haemorrhage - and other deathly diseases.

My mother carried around the burden of regret and resentment her whole life and took it out on me, thereby passing on the disease. She endured a lot in her life but a broken heart finally ended her and she just couldn't get back up. And the dark side got the best of her. She didn't know any better.

Pity is crack cocaïne.

Sidenote : Sometimes I feel myself adopting family values and I get sick inside because I know I'm conforming to be comfortable and accepted at home. Had I been living alone and making mad bread, I'd probably be having orgies the first Sunday of every month and brunching after.

Wounds have been healing off late.

So I've been looking at people with less hate for who they are, what they believe in, and how they act.

I come from a country where people are all about family values. I didn't really grow up with any want or feeling of kinship and was initially criticized for being wanton. But when I decided to attend to myself, family, and wear big girl pants, I was criticized for being a loser. I guess I learned the hard way that I'm never going to please everyone / anyone. So now, whatever I do, I do it 100% for myself.

Things I've been sort of successful at for a while,

1. No one owes me anything and I don't owe anyone anything.

2. Whatever I do for a person is for free.

3. Whatever I don't do for a person, is reasonable and vice-versa.

4. Never assert myself on someone, even though it feels fun (admit it fuckers).

5. Everyone talks shit. As Buddha proves it to be true time and again (that dude is the OG) : The truth is kind.

Analysing and dissecting things can be fun, like hidden dirty ammunition. Being too nice can be boring. A rabbit is no rattlesnake, amiright? A kurkure is no gulab jamun. A bitch is no bae, unless you're in therapy.

6. If you don't like the conversation, change it.

7. Fall forward.

8. Start first with the right understanding.

And the construction continues.. with more questions and truly no answers despite the inquiry, until they arrive of course.

#heal #essay #love #thoughts #writers on tumblr #writers life #choices

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