#kys but make it fashion

[dr-hops-thechronomadic-rabbit]

Who had the most badass suicide:

A.) Humpy Dumpty in Puss & Boots

B.) Batman in Superman: Red Son

C.) Icarus from Ancient Greece

D.) Oily Josh from Ancient Palestine

[bidokja]

zen and obi doing the entire "you're spending a lot of time with tobi" video is so vital to me, and equally vital is that it HAS to be zen doing the jealous bit

[jakesangel]

ouch my head 💢 - smau

when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her

pairing : loser desperate jake x hot 'meanie' reader aka black cat gf x golden retriever bf

warning : they are all in college so will have college humor w sex jokes n kms/kys jokes

jake's group of friends : basketball extracurricular - heeseung + jay but also knows jungwon n sunghoon

y/n's group of friends : fashion extracurricular - sunghoon sunoo jungwon

not gonna show the profiles nobody really care anyway but here's a little spoiler > <

master list :

1 💢 i’m sure he looks fine as hell under his hoodie

2 💢 i had an accident.

3 💢 why his side profile so 🫦

4💢 i will make him pregnant.

5 💢 i'd gladly ask jake to try it again

6💢 jake getting bitches before me make no sense

7 💢 DELTE

8 💢 am i too pretty for you to answer

9 💢 you can make girls laugh 😲

rest will be updated

ouch my head tag list ( open ) : ask or comment to be added >< @enhablr . @onerooza @wonsdoll @lialaiakalaiiaia @nctsshoes2 @tzyunaes @heeseung64 @iselltulips @miszes @jakeswsh @thing89 @dreamiestay @cherrikii @rikisluv @50-husbands @miuhaee @wonwonluvie @zyvlxqht @letwiiparkjay @miniature-tragedy @tie-nn @thenastone @isa942572 @grassbutneo @luvyouloser @st1llm0nster @luvvhaerin @ren2jay @turip222 @iheartjayke @zaihypen @t1iqaa @daniellesyellowhands @cralessia @pharaways @clampclover @02zluvbot @jakieeeeee @sumzysworld @vmpivory @chxrlz-mxr @hizhu @slp23 @catecita @heelovesmeknot @danielleism @dissoc1ating @belovedsthings @getoxo @al3xa-amz @webjeje @dimplewonie @evpyzx @gardenwons @swagpersonthings

perm tag list ( open ) : @luvj4key @stwrjvke @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee @mioons @en-ner-jay @en-chantedtomeetyou @jlheon @ghostiiess @vlaeaex

[ellieslob]

★ streamer ellie!

ways to help palestine!!!

S★ she started with fornite and minecraft gameplays but went viral for playing girly video games and screaming with pure rage and desperation if she loses or if her chat tells her the outfit she made was ugly asf😭

S★ she deadass will say “u guys clearly don’t know about fashion like i do” n then pull outfits like this:

S★ she used to be so fucking afraid that her face reveal went like dream’s that she posponed that shit for like a year. when she finally did it she ended the stream, turned off her phone and went to bed covering her body completely, while sniffing and crying “my career is over ”

S★ after her face revealed her account went even more viral, people started to make thirst traps of her and edits, videos, even fanfics, she got a little more comfortable with showing her face. her favorite edits were to songs like ride, baby by me, hey daddy (daddy’s home) and a song in spanish called vaquero, they were just so funny to her😭

iloveellie: she’s daddying so hard‼️

ewisinthechat: aw you guys really see me as a father figure?😺🫶

brondon444: 😭

kvcjjsaj: 😭

loverboydsa: 😭😭😭

“hey why is everyone crying in the chat, is everyone okay?”

S★ she really loves the cat emojis, specially this one 😻

S★ out of all her platforms (aside from twitch) she uses twitter the most, she tweets without a second thought in that head, without filter, like zero hesitation and then apologizes if she said something way too controversial.

ewisinthechat2: have you had that feeling when someone is so stupid you want to stab your eye with a fork? #kys

ewisinthechat2: k, i guess u have not😅…

S★ she was practically new to tiktok, so the first moths she had her likes public, she didn’t even know that was possible on the app. but if you click on it all you could see were shit post and memes that a dad would like, all except for a big section of aprox thirteen videos, one after the other, all with the same girl.

sckerforellie18: did u guys saw ellie’s likes? i think she’s stalking that poor girl😭

slaybabesew: HAHAH WAIT IS REAL, IS SHE HER GILFRIEND???

elliesaheymamasg: she’s so hot wait😩

heyemogirlbb: it’s her @girlypop66

S★ the chat started to tag you to every single one of her videos on tiktok, her photos on instagram, tagging you on things like “hi, could you please date my mom?🤗” or “my new mommie😻” EVEN in her questionable tweets telling you “we know she’s crazy but give her a chance😭”

S★ one day you waked up to your phone being practically broken from all the notifications, you still had your little pink iphone 6 and you had to buy another one because of it.

Instagram

girlypop: hi um i don’t think we really know each other but people are tagging me on your videos😭 love them though

S★ ellie was in a stream, the chat had to make her laugh and spit the water so she was reacting to videos that her chat had send her. when that notification appear on the screen, she read it, gulped the water, looked dead ass serious at the camera and turned off the stream.

elliewilliasm: omg hi, im so sorry i didn’t know, I’ll tell them to spot

elliewilliasm: spot*

elliewilliasm: STOP**😭

you laughed in your new phone, she was funny, and for what you had seen in all the posts that you were tagged on, very pretty too.

girlypop: hey would you like to grab coffee sometime?

ewisinthechat: TO EVERYBODY IN THE CHAT, THANK YOU, YOU GUYS ARE THE FUCKIN BEST, LOVE YALL, IM SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU, XOXO😻😻😻😻

GIVEAWAY COMIN FUCKIN SOON💯💯‼️

S★ she was exhausted when she jumped to her bed, after all the crying, screaming, jumping and the extreme tweeting that just said “YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES”, she unlocked her phone again.

elliewiliasm: yeah sure :)

REBLOG AND COMENT

IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE TAG LIST

[jayujus]

JOAH (I LIKE YOU) - NI-KI SMAU

synopsis ❀ : in where fashion student and model, jo y/n, has been openly crushing on dance student, riki nishimura for god knows how long. that is until one day, she crushes on someone else and riki goes feral.

featuring ❀ : (ZOA of WEEEKLY as yn's faceclaim), enhypen maknae line, new jeans' danielle, treasure's junghwan, xikers' junghoon, p1harmony's soul and jongseob, &team's taki, konon, ive's wonyoung + maybe more to come

genre(s) ❀ : fluff, angsty, kinda love triangle, crack ??

warnings ❀ : kys jokes n that stuff, cursing, riki's mean, ignore timestamps

started ❀ : june 9 2023

completed ❀ : august 1 2023

taglist ❀ : closed

authors note ❀ : tbh this is my first time actually posting on this account and i'm a bit nervous as to how this smau will play out 🥲 also so so sorry if its boring 😭 i'll try to update everyday if possible, but as of june 23, i will be a little less frequent

profiles ❀ : we told her to buckle up 🤷🏻‍♀️ | hi stink 😝

chapters !

01 : PLS ONE CHANCE BRO

02 : so mean

03 : keshi concert

04 : he thinks i'm pretty?

05 : can't let go

06 : konon's advice

07 : time to move on

08 : yn's character development

09 : junghoon's bold era

10 : the truth hurts

11 : the what if's

12 : date night!

13 : regretful

14 : riki's depression

15 : mixed emotions

16 : not so smart

17 : new best fran 💬 0.4k + smau

18 : we've been replaced

19 : i think he needs some water

20 : cringe :/

21 : shota's schemes

22 : bouquet of roses

23 : top 10 worst anime betrayals

24 : predicament

25 : make amends 💬 0.4k + smau

26 : operation: win yn over!

27 : #exposed

28 : MAMA 😭😭😭😭😭

29 : honest feelings

30 : #ditched

31 : RICE 🍚😫😫

32 : he really is rizzki

33 : d-day 💬 0.8k + smau

34 : enchanted

35 : psych ward

end

copyright © jayujus 2023 all rights reserved

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

hey girll hruu? i hope you're doing well ❤️‍🩹 I wanted to ask if u could do "your ig as izana's and ran's gf" bc I'm loooving it so so muchhh!! tysm, and again, I hope your okay<33

Thank you so much, hun<3 I'm doing better, tho I may or may not got bit by spider-

I'll do Izana in this part and Ran in next!

Your Instagram while dating Izana Kurokawa

Liked by Izann_a, Kaku.hitto and 742 others.

Y/n:@Izann_a always together<3

View all the 426 comments.

Hanma_.shuji: Cute! Why is this on my fyp tho?

╰┈➤Ran.Haitani: To make you feel single.

╰┈➤Hanma_.shuji: Dang. It's working.

Liked by Izann_a, M0chi_ and 264 others.

Y/n:@Izann_a when he plays your favourite songs on his guitar>>>

View all the 45 comments.

Sen.ju8: You're living my dreams, girl.

Emma_San0: Izana in love is my favourite thing now.

Shin_sano: I raised him right😌

╰┈➤Izann_a: YOU were raising me?

╰┈➤Man.jir0: want popcorn, anyone?

╰┈➤Draken._: Don't egg on them, Mikey.

Izann_a: Anyway, playing Friends by Chase Atlantic on guitar was good experience.

Liked by Izann_a, Emma_San0 and 645 others.

Y/n:@Izann_a I wasn't feeling well today so he 🤭

View all the 143 comments.

Mad_Shi0n: I'll throw up.

╰┈➤M0chi_: Get off from this acc if you're going to leave negativity.

Rind0u_haitani: that's so sweet of you, boss.

Ran.Haitani:@Mad_Shi0n This bring me back cuz remember how you had to tell Mochi that he was appreciated?

╰┈➤Izann_a: LMFAO

╰┈➤Y/n: When????

╰┈➤Ran.Haitani: Back in juvie.

╰┈➤Mad_Shi0n: Kys.

╰┈➤Izann_a: Was it casual then? "Deep down, I appreciate him."

╰┈➤Mad_Shi0n: Pls stop I was possessed.

Liked by Izann_a, Kaku.hitto and 638 others.

Y/n:@Izann_a <3

View all the 215 comments.

Shin_sano: My babies grew up so fast!

╰┈➤Izann_a: Yet you're still single.

╰┈➤Shin_sano: By choice!

╰┈➤Man.jir0: It's okey, Shin. We're all delusionals at one point.

Liked by Izann_a, Man.jir0 and 548 others.

Y/n:@Izann_a name me a better ship than singer and guitarist.

View all the 174 comments.

Hak.k.ai: Fashion designer and model.

╰┈➤Y/n: Fair enough.

╰┈➤Man.jir0: Real.

╰┈➤Man.jir0: WAIT

Liked by Izann_a, Kaku.hitto and 638 others.

Y/n:@Izann_a sweetest<3

View all the 87 comments.

Emma_San0: So sweet!!

Hina_Hina: So cute!!

Mad_Shi0n: Vomiting on the floor

╰┈➤Izann_a: Do not interact with me or my girlfriend ever again.

╰┈➤Mad_Shi0n: Vomiting from cuteness-that's what I meant.

╰┈➤Kaku.hitto: stop before he actually kills you.

[okikeu]

BIJOUX

PAIRING — lee heeseung x CEOfem!reader

SUMMARY — The fashion industry is difficult, so when the CEO of Korea's finest, luxury fashion brand, Le Désir, loses the most important ambassador of her career, her life is pretty much over. That is, until she finds a face that makes her previous fumble look like a simple marketing scheme.

GENRE — smau, two idiots in love, fluff, some goofs and gaffs

WARNINGS — kys jokes, class differences, alcohol, swearing, sexual (?) jokes, mentions of drugs, guns, death, and drowning, heeseung is a loser (endearingly), reader is strong business woman but (not so) deep down is just a silly little critter

FEATURING — rest of enha, txt yeonjun & beomgyu, ive yujin & liz, stayc sumin, itzy ryujin, and more idols mentioned

DATE — published 22/06/24, completed tbd

TAGLIST — open! comment or send an ask

INTRODUCING THIS YEAR'S COLLECTION!

PROFILES. milan rejects & papa louie's character log

ONE. iowa, here i come!

TWO. akari... my #1 opp

THREE. determination for termination

FOUR. funeral POSTPONED! (written 1k)

FIVE. model hunting

SIX. betrayal of the banana (written 0.9k)

SEVEN. subscribe to my newsletter

EIGHT. throw pillows: not for throwing (written 2.2k)

NINE. email etiquette son or fax machine daughter

TEN. a present father is bad for business

ELEVEN. graphic design is my passion

TWELVE. midst the microsoft apocalypse

THIRTEEN. MODEL MAN!

MORE TO BE ADDED!

[mollyrolls]

stop the clock 𖦹 matsukawa i. x reader

introductions: dickwads + the mosaic

warnings: mentions of alcohol, language, kys jokes

an: stc is getting favorite child treatment so sorry to the kuroo lovers. your time will come!

pinterest

taglist: open! fill out here

prev. / mlist. / next

matsukawa issei

𖦹 mattsun just got hired at the mosaic because he got fired from his last job for 'slacking'. he totally was, but that's not his fault. was a shoe-in for this one because he knows both of the other young bartenders and the owner lowkey already thought he was working there. 𖦹 his favorite drink is a negroni but mostly drinks beer bc its cheap and works. natty light warrior. suna calls it a "cunty old fashioned." 𖦹 his bartending experience consists of making vile jungle juices with makki in college and watching as people try not to die, and the endless times he's tried using a shaker dramatically over his shoulder only to spill the drink everywhere. 𖦹 is fully leaning into the flirty bartender stereotype because it'll get him more tips and he is 100% in it for the money.

hanamaki takahiro

𖦹 makki's been working there the longest, and he introduced suna and mattsun. by introduced, he forced mattsun to come to the bar when it was dead and they just talked until it was time to close. very casual friendship built from that. 𖦹 he's a martini drinker argue with the wall 𖦹 got the reputation of the advice bartender so whenever drunk people come in lamenting he's sat. purely because he's messy and wants to know the drama. 𖦹 he has three old ass men who come to the bar every friday and talk to no one but him. they give him $100 every time. no one knows why they like him so much but they are a full on clique.

suna rintaro

𖦹 his actual favorite drink are fruity martinis but he sucks it up and drinks jack and coke to seem cool. if the bar is dead you KNOW he's making a marg pitcher for himself and going to town. 𖦹 really wants to have a bartender persona but nothing has stuck. this makes him irate. 𖦹 is in charge of finding new bands to come and play, which is a job he takes with utmost seriousness. when someone is playing he is doing major crowd work trying to decide if they can come back.

the mosaic

𖦹 the mosaic used to be a staple in the community, but a lot of the clientele is older and don't go out anymore. very much a hole-in-the-wall. no signs outside signifying where it is; "if you know, you know." 𖦹 to keep the bar alive the owner is trying to attract a younger crowd, which is why the trio got hired with very little bartending experience. live music is a new development that has helped a lot. 𖦹 the mosaic is about three blocks away from kumonoue. bodega cat has yet to stray this far.

fun facts!

𖦹 someone called makki a dickwad when he still charged them for a drink after flirting with him all night. he laughed so hard, told suna who also laughed, and then changed the gc name without informing issei on why.

𖦹 the battle for a skee ball machine will be a sub plot. place your bets now!

𖦹 no matter how hard they try, dickwads will first and foremost be a work gc.

prev. / mlist. / next

taglist: open! fill out here.

@bakingcuriosity, @nobodybutnnoorr, @ciderscape, @lilchubbyyy, @soulfullystarry,

@interstellarz, @wakashudou, @myromanempiree, @notverymarley, @froyaoya,

@lllaw, @eggyrocks, @cnnmairoll, @cosmiicdust, @reignsaway,

@wyrcan, @garfieldissocool

[leclercloml]

Blaugrana Girl | PG8

pairing: pedri gonzalez x modric!reader

summary: barcelona's golden boy and La Liga's starboy, who've been single for a while and have finally started dating someone, and that someone turns out to be none other than the daughter of the famous midfielder of their biggest rival and the 2018 Ballon d'Or winner, Luka Modric.

genre: SMAU

warnings: google translated spanish and croatian, grammar mistakes i guess, incorrect match dates (to match the storyline)

author's note: I can't believe this is my first time doing a footballer fic even though football is my favourite sport alongside f1, anyways hope you guys like it

ynmodric

liked by judebellingham , lukamodric10 , pedri and 4,789,629 others

ynmodric 🕶️🤍

view comments

lukamodric10 moja prekrasna kćer 🤍 (my gorgeous daughter)

⤷ynmodric Hvala ti dad 🫶🏻 (thank you dad)

⤷username THE father and daughter duo.

toni.kr8s hermosa chica 😊🤍 (beautiful girl)

⤷ynmodric gracias, tío!! (thanks uncle)

⤷username she's basically daughter of every older player in rm 😭😭😭

⤷username it's adorable 😭🫶🏻

username she's so iconic for being a culer, I love her sm.

⤷username yeah the fact that her dad is a madrid legend but she's a culer makes it 10× funnier

⤷username she's a culer?

⤷username yupp, Luka said it himself in post match interview against barca "yeah we won, my daughter might be very sad, since she likes barcelona more"

username she's an icon, she's a legend and she is the moment.

username she's so beautiful 😭😭

username her fashion sense tho>>>>

fedevalverde Eres tan genial, ¿ser mi amigo? (You're so cool, be my friend?)

⤷ynmodric no.

⤷rodrygogoes 😂🫵🏻

⤷username rodryyyy 😭😭😭

⤷username i love these three so much 😭

username wifey.

ynmodric

liked by judebellingham, toni.kr8s , pedri and 2,749,730 others

yourinstagram no I still haven't forgave him for 2 goals against us but I guess he's kinda cool.

view comments

judebellingham I have apologised 10 times already.

⤷ynmodric yes, and I do not forgive you, and that win was beginners luck

⤷username what a bitch hating on the team her father play for and calling our rivals "us" ungrateful bastards.

⤷username WOAH calm your horses, it's all joke when Luka, Jude and other madrid guys don't mind it, why is it bothering you sm, a lot of players kid support their dad's/mom's rivals, it's common in football world chill.

⤷username "ungreatful bastard" bro she is literally the most grateful person ever.

⤷username chill out, it's all joke and just because she supports barca doesn't mean she's "ungreatful".

username i love the mad madridistas in comments, cry more.

⤷username no but imagine hating on someone just because they don't support your favourite lmfao.

username Jude x y/n 👀

⤷username say another word and I'll finna throw hands

username pedri you ain't slick with that like.

⤷username homeboy thinking he can pull her.

⤷username he's can tho-

⤷username he can but I don't think Jude will miss his chance

⤷username this is exactly what I hate, she would post just one player and the shipping is there, first with Valverde (he literally had a girlfriend) and then Rodrygo and now Jude, can you all just stop?

⤷username fr fr, like her dad plays for that club, it's obvious she's gonna be friends with the players around her age and by these shippings you all are just ruining their friendship.

username pedri liked.....

⤷username he likes all of her posts...and vice versa....

⤷username and she's a culer....

⤷username yeah we know she's a culer you don't need to mention it every 2 seconds.

⤷username yeah you're right but she's a culer 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷username lmao 😭

⤷username Luka wouldn't like that

⤷username did he told you that?

username ok but why do I ship.

⤷username kys.

⤷username STRAIGHT to the point 💀

username alright can we stop talking about jude and pedri and talk about HER like she look so beautiful.

⤷username oh my god finally! Everyone is just "oh Jude and y/n i ship" , "oh pedri in the likes, I ship" NO! it ain't about them, it's about y/n.

⤷username she so fucking gorgeous

username mother. (she's 19)

username y/n i would lick the floor you walk on.

⤷username WOAH! now calm down there.

username new friendship at bernabeu

username beautiful!

pedri

liked by pablogavi , _rl9 , ynmodric and 56,739,428 others

pedri força barça ye FUERZA TENERIFE!! 💪🏻💔🏝️

view comments

pablogavi vamos hermano!! (Let's go brother!!)

⤷pedri Muchas gracias hermano ❤️. (Thank you so much bro)

⤷username brothers 😭😭🫶🏻🫶🏻

⤷username THE golden boys.

⤷username i love them your honour

_rl9 eras increíble pequeño (you were incredible little one)

liked by pedri

⤷username ahhhhh they're literally a family

⤷username mes que un club 💙❤️

username pedri potter 🎩🪄

username he's baaackkkk

username you were amazing pedri! Praying for tenerife 🫶🏻

username força pedri y fuerza tenerife!

adidas magician 🪄

⤷username adidas admin is just like us fr.

ynmodric incredible performance! praying for tenerife 🇮🇨❤️

⤷pedri muchas gracias y/n, realmente lo aprecio ❤️ (thank you so much y/n, i really appreciate it)

⤷username ajssvakdbsnkshdksdj yes yes yes

⤷username screaming!!!!!

⤷username she have commented on Lewy's acc multiple times but this is the first time she have commented on Pedri's post, we're winning!!!

⤷username the red heart 😭😭😭

⤷username y/n baby come back home.

⤷username am I dreaming???

⤷username they'll be the power couple.

username y/n's comment is gonna make a lot of madristas mad 😭😭

⤷username who even cares about them.

username vamos pedri!!! Visca barca!

ynmodric

tenerife, canary islands, spain

liked by judebellingham, vinijr, pedri and 2,749,825 others

ynmodric no fire could ever burn the beauty of this place 🏝️

view comments

username she's so beautiful wtf

username y/n adopt me please.

vinijr hope you're enjoying your vacation 🏝️

⤷ynmodric very much 🌚

⤷username excuse me? What's that emoji supposed to mean?

username canary islands?? TENERIFE??!!

⤷username what's wrong with canary islands?

⤷username nothing it's just she's in Tenerife!

⤷username yeah well then what's wrong with tenerife?

⤷username you're joking right? You do know who's from tenerife?

⤷username who?

⤷username pedri, the barca midfielder.

⤷username excuse me???!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??

judebellingham spending summer alone? Might be boring af.

⤷ynmodric who said I was alone?

⤷username HELLO??? JUDE, VINI WHAT DO YOU BOTH KNOW?

⤷username WHOEVER is with MY wife, leave.

⤷username see I'm not trying to be delusional and all shit but whenever someone mention canaries or tenerife the only person i could think of is Pedri 😭

⤷username THEY would break the football internet.

⤷username i can already imagine the headlines 😭

username oh my god this was not on my 2023 bingo card.

username i always shipped them so.

⤷username me too 😭😭

username imagine pedri posting himself in canary islands after this

⤷username lmfao that would be iconic.

pedri

tenerife, canary islands, spain

liked by pablogavi , _ferminlopez, ynmodric and 26,739,198 others

pedri summer break 🏝️

view comments

username ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK, PEDRO GONZALEZ LOPEZ, WHO GAVE YOU RIGHTS TO COME ON INSTAGRAM HALF NAKED??

username the muscles I'm on my knees.

username I PREDICTED IT! NO ONE CAN SAY OTHER WISE.

⤷username predicted what?

⤷username go check y/n modric's post, her and pedri are spending summer vacation together !!!

⤷username I JUST DID HELLO??!! SOMEONE EVEN COMMENTED SAYING "imagine pedri posting himself in canary islands after this" and he did 😭!!

⤷username he saw the comments and went like "alr let's give you all what you want" icon fr. 😭

pablogavi I wonder when was the last time I saw that location on a post 🤔.

⤷pedri keep wondering.

⤷username under y/n's post!!!

liked by pablogavi

⤷username he liked!!!

⤷username they're together 😭

⤷username Jude punching the air rn

⤷username they were just friends.

⤷username pedri and y/n THE power couple

username if they ever had kids yk the midfield genes are gonna be crazy

⤷username they've not even confirmed their relationship yet and you're already talking about kids 😭😭

username this is MY roman empire

_ferminlopez looking good hermano 😉

⤷username HE KNOWS.

username this was not on my 2023 bingo card

⤷username same 😭

⤷username it was on no one's 😭😭

username SO WE CAN SEE Y/N WEARING A BARCA JERSEY???

⤷username never

Twitter

Instagram

ynmodric

liked by pedri , judebellingham, vinijr and 3,638,629 others

ynmodric it was supposed to be a surprise or soft launch or whatever but y'all are literal Sherlock Holmes, so here it is, the love of my life, the most precious thing to me, MY beautiful boyfriend, te amo bebe ❤️ (AND don't worry y'all dad approves)

tagged; pedri

view comments

pedri was the last pic really necessary???

⤷ynmodric what? you look cute!!!

⤷vinijr you really do 😹

⤷username lmao 😭

⤷username divided by rivalry united by y/n

⤷username el clasico gonna be more fun now

pedri te amo mucho ❤️

⤷ynmodric te amo mucho también❤️

_ferminlopez we're not sherlock holmes, you both are just stupid.

⤷ynmodric OK rude.

⤷pablogavi he's right tho, you both made it so obvious 💀

⤷pedri go away, both of you.

⤷username I'M DYING 😭

⤷username i mean they're not wrong, they both made it so obvious

lukamodric10 where did you get that picture from???

⤷ynmodric I have my ways don't worry.

⤷username I'm speechless.

pedri mi mujer 🫶🏻 (my woman)

⤷ynmodric yours only 🤍

⤷rodrygogoes gross 🤢

⤷ynmodric go away hater.

fedevalverde hermoso 😍 (beautiful)

⤷ynmodric thank you fed, but why tf do you comment like a 30 year old aunt.

⤷fedvalverde I do not??

⤷username you do 😭

⤷username I'm sorry valverde but you do 😭😭

username LUKA'S PIC I'M DYING, SHE'S SO ICONIC 😭

⤷ynmodric I mean you guys were so worried about his reaction and all stuff so

⤷username AHHHHHH!!!! SHE REPLIED

⤷username you won 😭

username Y/N IS WEARING A BARCA JERSEY, IN A MATCH!!?? WHY DIDN'T ANY OF US SAW THIS BEFORE

⤷ynmodric I'm surprised you sherlock people didn't found out earlier, guess i outsmarted you all.

⤷username outsmarted us fr fr

username they're the IT couple

username pedri you better treat my woman right or else 🤺

⤷username stop you're embarrassing.

⤷username 💀💀💀

lukamodric10 sviđa mi se, dobar je dečko 🤍(I like him, he's a good guy)

⤷ynmodric zaista je vrlo simpatičan (he indeed is very likeable)

⤷judebellingham @/pedri you have the approval from big man

⤷pedri appreciate it 🤍

⤷username never in my 1000 year of life i would've thought that barca players and real madrid players would have this kind of interaction

⤷username me too girl me too

pedri te amo ❤️

⤷ynmodric Yo también te amo ❤️

pedri

liked by ynmodric, pablogavi, _rl9 and 38,839,327 others

pedri my no. 1 fan aka the love of my life, te amo mucho ❤️

tagged; ynmodric

view comments

ynmodric proud to be the no.1 of the most perfect boy known to mankind

⤷pedri hi this is fer, pedri just throw his phone across the wall and started sprinting in the entire house

⤷ynmodric help what 😭😭

⤷pedri not true!!!

⤷feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr he's blushing like a school girl

⤷ynmodric he do look very pretty with those pink tint on his cheeks

⤷feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr he died, dead.

⤷username this have to be the cutest most adorable-st and funniest reply chain I've ever read.

⤷username pedri is whipped 😭

pablogavi i had to watch you both make out infront of me to get that picture and in return i get no pic credits????

⤷pedri it's not about you.

⤷pablogavi it should be.

⤷ynmodric 📸; angry bird

⤷pablogavi I am not???!!!

⤷pedri you are

⤷ferrantorres you are

⤷_ferminlopez you are

⤷judebellingham you are

⤷vinijr you are

⤷username not Jude 😭😭😭

⤷username my man played 1 match against him and already looked devastated 😭

⤷username divide by rivalry united by yn and pedri

⤷username that rhymes 😭😭

username this is the most iconic thing ever happened after 18.12.22

ynmodric mi amorrrrr ❤️

⤷pedri ❤️❤️❤️

⤷username cutiesss 😭😭

ynmodric fuck it, imma pull a frenkie, 👵🏻❤️👴🏻

⤷pedri lmfao😭

⤷mikkykiemeny stop 😭😭

⤷frenkiedejong what's wrong with that emoji??!

⤷ynmodric absolutely NOTHING 🫶🏻!

⤷username she's so fucking iconic!!!

⤷username my favourite wags.

username they're literally the cutest and the best couple ever

username they're an absolutely icon

username do you want real love or do you just want what they have.... what's the difference actually??

username bro scoring on and off pitch

ynmodric Te amo mucho mi amor ❤️ (i love you so much my love)

⤷pedri Yo también te amo mucho mi amor❤️🫶🏻!!(I love you so much too mi amor)

⤷username GOD IT'S ME AGAIN

username they're the best fr

username i love them your honour.

[saucyjothoughts]

Bought my first dildo today, now just have to make it fit. Won't the boys give me some words to think about so I don't get distracted from the task? 🥹

Congratulations on your first dildo, sweet Anonyboo! 🎉🎉

(nsfw under the cut)

Think about Bojan being so excited for all the fun you're about to have. Teasing you about it being modelled on him, so you can practice with your toy to your heart's content until you want the real thing. He just knows you're gonna be so brave and do so well, sinking down over him it until you can take every inch, rocking your hips to learn how to make it hit all the best spots. That way you can teach him exactly how to make you feel good when it's his turn. Fuck you're making him so jealous of that toy.

Think about Jan talking you through coming first so your body is relaxed enough to take it. Telling you how hot to look (and sound... and smell...) while you're touching yourself, maybe getting you to taste your fingers, telling you how lucky that toy is gonna be to get inside you. He'll make you clutch a pillow to your chest to hold onto while you cum ("the old fashioned way. Acoustic style.") and feel the waves of your release relax your bones. So when he asks you to push your toy between your legs, so soft and wet with your orgasm, it slips right in to your sensitive depths as though that's where it's always belonged. Now, doesn't that feel good?

Think about Jure having you get familiar with it in your hands and in your mouth first. Get used to how big it is by stroking it, how firm it is with a little squeeze and twist while you jerk it. Practice playing your tongue over the tip and wrapping your lips around the head, and letting it push inside your mouth, letting it fill you as deep as you're comfortable with. He wants you to get it all covered in your spit so that it's warm and wet from your mouth when you rub it against your clit, letting it bounce and slip along your folds. Maybe you just want to hump against it this first time, thrusting yourself against it's smooth ridges. Nothing scary, just rubbing against your sweet spots. There's no hurry, baby.

Think about Kris lubing it up for you ("anything is possible with enough KY"), getting it ready in his hands. Watch it glisten. Intimidating, right? But he knows you can do it, and he's gonna be so proud of you when the whole thing is deep in your desperate pussy, stretching your out for the first time, like you've been craving for so long, like your body has been yearning for. Push a little harder, a little faster, and watch how your lower belly swells each time you go deep. Now that you've felt this inside you, just your fingers will never be enough again - there's no going back now. He knows you fuck yourself while thinking about him. You'd better not stop.

Think about Nace not letting it anywhere near you until you're wet and soft enough to take it. Let it rest against your thigh under the covers, absorbing your body heat while you think about Nace's hands on your skin, his kiss on your breasts, his hand between your legs. His tongue slow and skilled on your clit, beard tickling against your sensitive lips and inner thighs. He'll take his time, not coming up for air until you're soaking the sheets beneath you. He won't let you reach for your new toy until you're desperate, aching to be filled, and it almost feels cruel but he's just looking out for you, knowing how big it is and how much it's going to stretch you out. By the time you do finally push the tip of it inside, it feels like heaven. He makes you hold it still while your body accommodates, relaxing around its fat girth. You've never had an orgasm while being filled like this before and he talks you through how good it's going to feel to have your tight walls clench around it as you come. Are you ready? Say it. Tell him how much you want this.

[dongminz]

my reality . . ᝰ.ᐟ (han taesan)

pairing: nonidol!taesan x fem!reader; genre: fluff, highschool au, opposites attract; warnings: cursing, kys and kms jokes ; featuring: mentions of tws dohoon, nwjns hanni, zb1 ricky, riize anton, and kissoflife belle

ᯓᡣ𐭩 what happens when han taesan, a quiet boy with a cold demeanor, falls for a girl working part-time at his favorite record shop?

𐙚 cart • wc: 288 | please ignore grammatical errors!

chapter 4: keep moving forward previous ✦ chapter list ✦ character desc ✦ next

note: this chapter is both an smau and a written au! please ignore incorrect timestamps !! 😖

you finally reach the cafe. as you enter, someone rushes to hug you. it's hanni! "omg yn!! it's been so long since i've seen you around school!! how are youuu?" you let out a small laugh before greeting her. "hi hannii!! i've missed youuu! i'm doing good, how about you?”

“i’m doing good !! come, sit beside me.”

“okay!” as you sit beside hanni, taesan takes the vacant seat beside you. he’s sitting beside dohoon, you can hear them catching up with each other. soon, ricky arrived.

“alright! since everyone is here, let’s start! so, i’ll introduce myself first. hello! i’m choi yn and i am under the fashion department! i am so excited to work on this project with you guys, let’s get along!”

after everybody introduces themselves, they start playing some icebreaker games. it was going really well, everyone was laughing and enjoying the whole thing! after an hour and a half they finally head home. “bye everybody !!” hanni waved as she greeted everybody goodbye. “byee !!” you also left soon after.

you wanted to say bye directly towards taesan but you just couldn’t do it, you were nervous. normally talking to me comes easily to you, but when it came to han taesan? god, had such a hard time approaching him. i mean, you’re so.. loud, and you talk too much. atleast that’s what everyone says, you were scared that it would make him uncomfortable or overwhelmed. the thought of him hating you made you feel so.. sad. but anyways, that hasn’t happened yet so let’s just keep moving forward! you cheer yourself up after replaying all the interactions you had with him today. of course, you rant about it to your friends first.

the 3 idiots twitter profiles 🫶 (will be added to character descriptions)

authors note: hellooo !!! this is chap 4 woohooo!!! i tried to add some text pics this time so it looks better !! and woah ?? twitter profiles !!! i’ll add the main friend groups (aka bnd and yns fg) twitter profiles to the next chapter and on the character descriptions! i hope you like that kinda made this an smau too ^^ ty @tkooooop for suggestion ☹️🫶

taglist: @tkooooop, @blumisiu, @cococunchy, @dimplewonie send an ask or comment if you wanna be added to the taglist !

© dongminz 2024 ; all rights reserved

[phillippadgettwrites]

The First Time, Every Time: Gender Bender

Rated X / 1661 words / Posted on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

It’s constant. The hum, the pull, the bone deep thrum of it. It keeps her up at night. It distracts her every waking moment. It’s consuming her, and she needs it to stop.

She feels sick when she thinks of that ugly man and his gentle strokes across the webbing of her thumb. Sick because she can’t stop replicating it, holding her own hand and stroking, stroking, stroking. It’s like he drew back the string on the bow of her desire and left her hanging there, tight and ready to fire. She finds herself fascinated by the idea of sex so transcendent that your heart simply bursts, overcome with pleasure. Not that she wishes he’d been successful, but…she wonders.

Her clit has developed its own pulse, steadily beating against the seam of her slacks while Mulder flips through his slide projector. Even that mechanical click sends a shockwave through her, makes her cunt grab at nothing and then pitch a fit about it. Her pussy has taken on the attitude of Veruca Salt, demanding that her needs be met on a whim, no matter how fantastical. Don’t care how, she wants it now.

She’s already run out the battery on her vibrator, then fucked herself with her fingers until she simply couldn’t stand any more friction. She ended up driving around at 11pm until she found an open grocery store to buy a bottle of KY, throwing in some condoms so it would look like she was getting laid instead of masturbating until she thought her clit might fall off, which would be a relief at this point.

Mulder is certainly not helping.

Has he always smelled this good? Has his ass always been so fucking plump? Has the bulge in his pants always been so…bulgy? He answers the door shirtless when she stops by his apartment and she has to make an excuse to leave before she throws him down on his couch and does things to him that would definitely violate several bureau policies, as well as her own moral code.

A few days ago her own moral code told her that casual sex was far too risky, something only stupid, careless people did. But what was previously beyond the scope of consideration is starting to sound more and more appealing the longer she lives with her bratty little cunt and its unrelenting petition for more, more, more. She can’t be sure that getting her hands on a flesh and blood cock will put an end to her misery, but even if it doesn’t she’s confident that she’ll enjoy it.

She’s never done this before, and she wishes she’d paid more attention to the sordid stories her friends told her in undergrad. She puts on a tight little red dress that is probably out of fashion and pairs it with panty hose out of habit, which she then takes off as it will only be an additional barrier. A little extra eyeliner and blush, red lipstick, her tallest heels. God, she looks ridiculous, like a little girl playing dress up. She’s beginning to reconsider when little Miss Veruca starts beating her drum again, wetting the panties that she only just put on. Now, now, now.

She picks a bar far away from her apartment to lower the odds of running into anyone she knows or might see again. It’s busy and noisy, not the kind of place that has many regulars, and she hopes that if she just sits at the rail and looks approachable, a suitable man will hit on her. Lord knows she’s had to turn down dozens of offers in the past, and that was when she wasn’t even trying. She orders a whisky neat and slams it before ordering another, half nervous and half feral.

The first man who talks to her is wearing a wedding ring, and while he’s attractive and her genitals find him worthy, she can’t bring herself to participate in the breaking of vows. She excuses herself to the bathroom and finds a spot at the other end of the rail, closer to the front door. She scans the sea of suits and loudly patterned shirts, looking for the right guy. At this point she’s feeling wound up and tipsy enough to make the overture herself, possible rejection be damned.

“Scully?”

Her blood swells in her veins at the sound of his voice. She turns and finds him looking at her in awestruck surprise, unsuccessfully resisting the urge to drag his eyes from her head to her feet and back again, and the weight of his obvious appreciation makes her cunt water. “What are you doing here?”

She opens her mouth but words don’t come out. The only ones she can think of are, I need to fuck someone or I may actually die.

“Are you meeting someone?” he asks, and the little flash of displeasure in his eyes tells her everything she needs to know.

She shakes her head.

His head tilts curiously. He’s wearing jeans and a white T-shirt, and she can’t help but take a good long look at his firm pecs under soft cotton, and the slight shadow of his nipples.

“Picking someone up?” he asks facetiously, like it’s the least likely answer that could ever possibly be correct. Like the idea that she, Dana Scully, would be at this bar looking to get laid is absolutely insane. And it is. She feels insane. Delirious with lust and desperate to be touched.

She stares at his mouth for a moment, then lifts her eyes to meet his and cocks an eyebrow. Mulder’s smirk fades and he swallows hard. God, he smells good.

“I better scram, then,” he says uncomfortably as he starts to back away. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your chances.”

She grabs him by the wrist, her fingernails digging into his skin, and he looks so thoroughly confused.

“You wanna do something stupid?” she asks him breathlessly, and her cunt bangs on the walls, stomps on the floor, now, now, now.

They make it as far as the alley. Her car is blocks away, and he walked from his apartment, but she cannot wait that long. She needs him now. He’s stunned and worried, asking so many times if she’s sure that she tells him to shut the fuck up and silences him with her mouth. She pulls him against a dirty brick wall and palms him over his jeans, and he yelps like her hand is made of ice.

“Here?” he whispers harshly between kisses, and she answers by popping the button on his fly.

He’s enormous, and already hard. She knew, deep down, that she could have him if she wanted to, but feeling the stiff heft of him in her hand makes her feel like a fucking goddess.

“Touch me,” she begs him, and he tentatively lays his hands on her hips, running them down the sides of her thighs and making her quiver with anticipation. “Here,” she says, taking his hand and sending it under her dress and between her legs, where he groans when he feels the soaked gusset of her panties.

“Jesus, Scully,” he says in awe, slipping his fingers behind the fabric and running them over her syrupy lips.

She’s going to come, but she’s not nearly done with him. She needs to feel his big fat cock inside her. She needs to. She might burst into flames if she can’t have it. He swirls his fingers around her opening and she unravels, sinking down against the dirty brick wall until he hoists her up with his free hand. She’s still coming when she reaches for him, stroking him in time to the strobe of her orgasm, and he breathes loudly through his nose as he suppresses his own vocalizations. She herself is loud and unabashed, too desperate for decorum.

“Please,” she whispers, tugging him closer by the cock. “I need it.”

He pauses and gives her an appraising look, like the pieces are falling together. Like he understands. He removes his hand from between her legs and hitches her dress up over her hips, then presses her against the wall and moves her panties aside with the head of his cock before slamming into her.

She might have screamed. Might have drawn attention from the people smoking around the corner. She does not care. Jesus himself could come back for the rapture and she’d have to tell him that she is already in heaven, being fucked roughly fifteen feet from a dumpster by the man she’ll have to face at work tomorrow. He fills her so fully, so deeply, it scratches that persistent itch that’s been tormenting her since they crossed paths with the Kindred. She wraps her arms around his neck and achieves earthly nirvana, a feeling of pleasure so complete that even the tips of her toes are coming. He shatters her, consumes her, pours into her until he is running down her legs. And finally, finally, finally, it’s enough.

He lowers her to the ground and she wobbles on enervated legs, holding onto him with one hand while she tugs her dress back down. Mulder tucks his spent cock back into his boxers and casts her worried glances while he buttons his jeans.

“Thank you,” she says breathlessly, patting his chest. She looks up at his face and meets his eye with cutting seriousness, and he waits for her to speak. “This never happened,” she says with an air of finality, and he nods.

She stumbles back to her car, beyond sated, and drives herself home.

When she walks into the office the next morning, he asks her how her evening was, as he often does. She gives him a quick glance to confirm that the question isn’t loaded and finds a perfectly neutral expression on his face.

“Fantastic,” she says flatly. “Best night of my life.”

She feels him smiling from across the room.

[notanerdyprude]

richie headcanons because by GOD do i love this

appearance

• richie is TALL. lanky mf. he was shorter that pete in middle school and then shot up to 6’3 in highschool.

• richie constantly dyes his hair. paul hates it, mainly because of the mess he makes of it. its partially a stress thing partially him wanting to make it gleamingly obvious that hes queer.

• has like an Okay sense of fashion, mainly thanks to ruth. he took the idea of layering stuff and RAN with it.

• always has a shit ton of pins and badges, some anime themed, some themed with other stuff.

• paints his nails sometimes. he tried nail art and it turned out shit but he liked it anyways.

personality

• this. man. is. a. BITCH. if max wasn’t the coolest guy in school richie would be such a cunt to him. well, more than he already is “i didnt mean to walk through YOUR hallway 😒”

• very blunt, he will tell his friends what he believes without sugar-coating it.

• richie is his friends number one hype man if he actually believes in them. in the audience of every school show screaming at the top of his lungs when the tech crew get thanked.

general

• gay, trans man. he/him pronouns user

• plays the drums! yes this is because i play the drums get out of my house.

• LOVES photography, will take photos of pretty scenery whenever he gets the chance. paul got him a proper camera for his 18th and he nearly cried.

• listens to 80’s rock/indie rock

• blur fan. not elaborating.

• will order boba tea or coffee that is 90% milk + sugar whenever the nerdy prudes get drinks.

• HUGE sweet tooth.

• theatre kid, the only reason he doesnt do the school musicals is that he thinks theyre all shit.

• works after school in a bookstore, spends most of his time studying or drawing.

• had a massive among us phase. he refuses to speak of it.

relationships

• paul is his uncle, emma is basically his cool wine aunt. she helps him dye his hair most of the time, and they gossip together.

• him and ruth are basically brother and sister, attatched at the hip, basically have twin telepathy. richie is the ultimate wingman.

• had a crush on pete in middle school that he got over. he still hasnt told pete about it.

• stephanie: kys

richie: you first whore

stephanie: do u want chilis

richie: yes

• (no one dies/everyone lives au) max and him have a frenemy type thing going on. after max DIDNT fall at waylon place, richie saw that max was less god more human, and felt more comfortable arguing back with max. they both prefer this, it makes class more fun.

• once made grace cry with the shit he said about his anime crushes in a groupchat

richie: i wanna #### him and ### his ####

grace: I hope I get to watch God offer you His divine judgement when you reach the gates of hell so I can laugh as you are banished from the Kingdom of Heaven.

[morrigan-sims]

Happy Simblr Gratitude Day!!

There's so many amazing people that I follow, and I know I can never name them all, so if you don't get mentioned on this list, PLEASE don't feel bad. I know for a fact that I'm going to miss some incredible people.

(under the cut for length)

@simlit - possibly the best "bachelor challenge" to ever exist. An incredible story with compelling characters, excellent writing, and stunning visuals. I binge-read all of COTS in one day, and whenever it updates, it's the highlight of my day.

@simgerale - Miranda is so incredibly talented. She makes the most beautiful sims, and her story Regal that just finished recently might just be my favorite story anyone has ever posted on tumblr. I've been following it since more or less day one. Also her legacy family is ADORABLE.

@softpine - the last of my top 3 stories on simblr. Everything Brandi writes is so incredibly detailed and filled with so much love. There is so much nuance and detail that goes into all of her posts, and all of her characters are delightfully complex. I binge-read the entirety of Camellia over two days, and it was a DELIGHTFUL experience.

@potionio - Omen makes some of the most amazing sims I've ever seen. Everything they make is GORGEOUS, from sims to builds to edits. Amazing alt fashion and spooky vibes all around. Also just an awesome friend.

@panicsimss - another amazing spooky simmer. Panic has gorgeous OCs, and I love everything she makes. Poppy and Hudson have my heart!!

@salemssimblr - Ash makes incredible renders, and is also just very kind. She's an awesome friend, and I'm so glad to have met them!!

@goldenwaves - Izzy is another incredible render-maker and editor. They also are the creator of some of the most fun and interesting dnd ocs I've ever had the pleasure of playing with and hearing about. Plus, her new story Heartbreakers is super awesome!!

@wileyfern - They post adorable gameplay, and their legacy family has been going strong for a long time now. Her current heir, Ocean, is super fun to follow!

@void-critters - Jay makes amazing edits and has some amazing dnd ocs that I love hearing about. They're also super kind and a great friend.

@warwickroyals - Ayanna's story is one of the only royal simblr stories I really follow very closely on here, and for good reason!! The level of nuance and commentary that goes into her story is very special. If you're going to follow a royal simblr, let it be this one!! Plus some very cool cc!!

@heartblobs - A very lovely historical simmer who just recently started a new decades challenge!! Ellie's current family is super cute, and I can't wait to see them grow!

@wildmelon - Lush makes some of the most gorgeous sims I've ever seen, as well as amazing edits!!! Also a critical role fan, which makes me happy.

@rebouks - Somnium very quickly became one of my favorite stories on simblr, and now Forever In Between is following in the foorsteps! Becca has adorable sims, and blends an excellent mix of gameplay and storytelling. She's also an INCREDIBLE pose maker.

@ghostputty - Ky makes INCREDIBLE edits, including those very famous eye edits. Also, their story, Deck of Fate, is fascinating, and I can't wait to read more!!

@raiiny-bay - Rai makes amazing renders, and their Monster Boys universe and lore is FASCINATING. I could read about the zombie boys for hours!

@arcanewonder - Sara's renders are on a whole 'nother level. Truly nothing compares. The fantasy vibes are immaculate! Plus, her simblreen treats from years past have saved my ass in decorating the castle for RTQ/ATQH.

@barbieaiden - Sam makes some of the most awesome renders I've ever seen, not to mention his stunning story and intriguing OCs. I love Sam and Aiden, am morbidly fascinated with Tristan and Kas, and am eagerly awaiting the day I get to hear about his pirate OCs.

@rainymoodlet - Shan's sims are all GORGEOUS, but Dan is truly the best of them all. Dan's bachelor challenge, KMIK, is amazing, and even though my boy may be out of the running, I'm very invested to see who ends up stealing Dan's heart.

@samssims - Sam is a pillar in this community. Her NSB family captured my heart right away, and her unique method of storytelling is so cool. Not to mention her poses, which are a must-have!

@laeska - Makes some of the best hairs in the community, and all totally free!! Her simblreen gifts this year were amazing, and I have all of her cc in my game.

@retro-plasma - Corn's sims are beautiful, and their gameplay posts are stunning! They truly have a talent for making things come alive!

@omgkayplays - A truly incredible simblr. Stunning builds, mindboggling edits, drop-dead-gorgeous sims, and a fascinating story are all reasons to give Kay a follow.

@seaslugsims - Their story is awesome, their cc is amazing and very useful, plus they're super kind and amazing!!!

@simandy - Ellen is literally the first simblr I followed, back when I joined this hellsite 5+ years ago. Her cc is amazing, and absolutely a must-have in my game.

I know I've missed people, but I think I've hit my limit on tagging people. Either that or tumblr's just throwing a fit at how long this post is. Either way, each and every person I follow deserves a spot on this list, so don't feel bad at all if I missed you!!! I follow over 400 people, all of whom are amazing.

[casualheizouenjoyers]

I love you but I can’t fix this✧

Synopsis: you are a fashion youtuber with an immense following and one of many series on your channel is “Fashion Police” where you help people find their personal style! Heizou is a very popular true crime youtuber, as well as a co host for his podcast “professional disasters” with childe and his children. tired of how horribly heizou dresses (they’ve given up on childe) his friends sign him up to appear on your show. and the fact that heizou has a big crush on you? just makes it better. too bad no one told them you two are already happily dating <3

Genre: smau, youtuber/streamer au, secret dating (but not angsty), crack and moments of fluff

Warnings: cursing, reader is written as gender neutral but their fashion expression leans more fem (i’m projecting my aesthetic on y/n), way too many your mom jokes, kys/kms jokes, time stamps are irrelevant

ships: reader x heizou, tighnari x albedo x cyno, yelan x yanfei x shinobu x shenhe, diluc x childe, (very background) xiao x venti, barbara x fischl, yae miko x ei (scara’s moms), razor x bennett

rich bitches <3 | professional disasters | extras /j

0.1 Heizou’s still bitchless rip 😔

0.2 that was unnecessary 💀

0.3 rizz off 😍

0.4 he is just a guy, hit him with your car 🙄

0.45 going on a cute date vs being friends with childe 🥲

[xx-slug-xx]

Hey guys, since troll antis are on the rise, instead of feeding the trolls, you can just ignore them and report them. Report their blogs and their posts! Don’t give them a reaction because that’s what they want!

Every time I get a reblog, comment, or anon telling me to kill my self in xyz fashion, I just ignore it and report them lmao.

I won’t engage with an anti unless they are civil and make some sort of sense. That’s my rule for antis. I don’t go to them, they come to me. And if they do come to me, then I don’t engage in conversation if it includes the phrases (or any variation of) “kys”, “pedo”, “go to jail”, “insert something ableist”, or “insert any slur”.