#lance rae

[damnlance]

hello pls enjoy this random klance blurb idea that’s been rotting in my brain..

so keith is a truck driver and is usually on the road at aaaalllll hours of the day/night. he’s always tired and exhausted and sometimes doesn’t even get to go home because of where he’s delivering to, resulting in him resting in crappy hotels (paid for by his job), and only getting a few hours of sleep if he can. he’s a very careful truck driver even if he’s surrounded by other reckless, idiot drivers, and takes his job very seriously. although he misses home, he enjoys life on the road and has traveled to some cool places all over the country. and sometimes, he gets to take his giant wolf-dog kosmo with him for company. he brings back cool souvenirs for his friends/family when he does return to his small but cozy home in the desert and doesn’t have too many complaints.

until one morning, as he’s driving on a busy highway, he runs into ‘before work traffic.’ he’s stuck in front of some fancy blue car and the owner is driving like he’s under the influence or something. the owner keeps swerving to the left, sometimes getting honked at, and keith has to drive so slow, most of the time not at all, because the guy stops moving and it’s pretty hard to break when keith isn’t prepared for it AND can barely see the tail of this blue car in his big, tall truck. so keith stays on high alert, praying for anyone to get in between him and this possibly intoxicated weirdo who’s going to cause an accident! things begin looking up when the traffic starts moving smoothly and the a-hole in the blue car starts driving like he means it. and keith can finally begin his cruise to his destination that’s 2 hours away so he can get back home. all cars around him are driving like they should be and keith feels a little of his nerves start to dissipate.

but of course that quickly goes out the window because the fancy blue sports car suddenly slams on their brakes and keith is nowhere near prepared for it. he rear ends the blue car, not too hard but definitely not gentle, which causes him to slam on his own brakes to prevent anymore damage. he hits his forehead on the steering wheel in the process and nearly blacks out.

everything horribly wrong runs through keith’s veins and he proceeds to get over onto the shoulder lane of the highway, following the banged up sports car. keith takes a deep breath and when it’s safe to do so, opens his truck door and climbs out of it. he walks around to the front of his truck, too afraid to look at the damage to the sports car. his truck barely has a scratch.. but it does have the sports car’s goddamn license plate stuck to it..

before keith has the chance to form any kind of apology, a figure is slowly getting out of the sports car. keith’s eyes hesitantly float to the figure. and he’s tall, dark, and handsome. he’s got silky bronze skin and sapphire blue eyes that leave keith hypnotized. great. he feels even more guilty now. wiping his sweaty palms on his dark jeans, keith goes to approach the good looking guy but is immediately stopped by him.

“holy crow!” the guy shouts. keith winces, assuming the obvious. fancy car dented like a can of sardines, license plate damn near glued to keith’s truck like a hood ornament. goodbye job, hello lawsuit. but when keith opens his eyes, he realizes that this godlike guy is staring.. at him. he straightens his posture, and when he goes to speak, the guy speaks over him. “are you alright, man!?”

“m-me?” keith asks like an idiot because of course he’s talking to him. who the fuck else is around!? butterflies ravage around keith’s insides because this sexy piece of art is walking towards him and boldly gripping him by the shoulders, keith has no time to think because this guy’s elegant, angelic scent enraptured keith like a long overdue hug, leaving him infatuated.

“oh dude, you’re bleeding!” the gorgeous guy with the piercing sapphire eyes exclaims. keith can’t be bothered by it though, he’s too busy being shot by cupid’s arrow. this guy has the most perfect skin keith has ever seen, it shines so radiantly in the sun that keith swears he can see his own reflection. getting a good look at him, keith notices how faultless his face is. this guy has the most symmetrical face ever. his nose is long and pretty, and freckles dance along the bridge going from one springy cheek to the other. with a piercing through his septum, decorated with diamonds, keith nearly melts into a puddle. peach fuzz sits just underneath that freckled nose, resting on his plump, pink upper lip and if keith inhales, he can smell the faintest bit of cinnamon, most likely a balm of some sort. his lashes are long and satiny and the way he bats his eyes, keith swears he can feel a tiny breeze coming from them. his hair is a light brown, resting just above his chiseled jawline, extra curly and bouncy from the way the subtle breeze is blowing through it. and those eyes. keith could die in those eyes. he wishes he could wake up to those eyes. there isn’t the slightest bit of imperfections on his godlike face anywhere. no wrinkles or crows feet or old scars. no moles or beauty marks. just.. heaven.

“dude!” a pinch to the arm has keith snapping out of it, dragging him back to the harsh reality that he just rear ended this angel’s expensive ass sports car.

“h-huh?” he says because he doesn’t know how long he was under this guy’s spell and because what are words?

“i said you’re bleeding!” the guy reaches up to keith’s forehead, slightly moving keith’s long, shoulder length hair out of his face, and touching his hairline with two fingers. he pulls them down to keith’s view and low and behold. red. that just about snaps keith back to their current situation and he jumps back, away from the angel.

“jesus!” he yells, holding himself. “i-i’m sorry!”

“for bleeding?” the blue-eyed guy speaks, his voice raspy and deep. “yeah, dude, it’s cool.” he smirks in a devious, yet playful way. keith’s heart sinks to his stomach.

“uh,” keith swallows hard, “f-for hitting on you! i-i mean-!” he babbles, he stutters, he hiccups, “y-your car!! for hitting your car!”

the guy says nothing as keith yaps on and on about insurance and paying for the damages and even apologizing for getting his blood on the guy’s fingers. he can’t stop himself from the word vomit but somehow, mystery man doesn’t seem to care. he just smirks even more until it blends into a smile that keith can’t bother to look at.

his heart falls to his ass now.

“dude?” the guy says, shushing keith. it works. of course it does, keith would shut the fuck up a million times if this guy said to.

“hm..” keith swallows hard.

“i don’t care about the car.”

keith’s mouth falls open. “you don’t!?”

the guys smiles again, so unearthly that keith’s heart is now between his feet.

“no. i only care about the gash in your head.” he chuckles. fuck. “it’s pretty deep. i can go with you to the hospital..”

keith is at a loss for words! this gentleman sent from god just had his fancy, million dollar sports car crushed by keith’s 7,000 pound truck filled with useless mattresses (his delivery this week), and all he cares about is.. keith’s bleeding forehead!?

ain’t no fucking way.

“no!” keith yells and the guys kinda flinches. “i mean! y-your car!! i-! your car is-! i didn’t mean to..”

god, here he goes babbling again. like seriously? it gets the guy smiling AGAIN and keith can’t handle it. who the fuck put this man on the planet???

“sir?” he says. fucking sir. he reaches for keith’s tensed shoulders and keith melts. literally. “relax.” their eyes lock and keith swears he will never look at anything else again because there is nothing on earth that is more captivating.

“o.. kay..” keith nods, looking up at his angel. he’s about 2 inches taller than keith, but that’s alright with him. a light blush fills his nose and soon his cheeks when he realizes how close they are again.

“you seem really distraught by the whole thing. allow me to introduce myself. my name is lance.”

keith nods again, unable to speak because his angel has a name and it’s just as beautiful as him.

“and yours?” lance asks.

“k.. k-keith..” keith forces out.

lance smiles AGAIN for fucks sake, keith is going to be reduced to ashes if he keeps doing that.

“it’s nice to meet you, keith.” lance moves his hands from the top of keith’s shoulders down to his forearms, giving them a gentle, reassuring squeeze. keith would like to step out onto the ongoing traffic that’s still going on beside them because all of this is literally happening on the side of the fucking road!

“mhm.” keith squeaks. like actually. lance removes his hands and keith gets so cold. he moves over to keith’s truck to assess the (nonexistent) damages and almost laughs.

“you know, you really did me a favor,” he says, placing his slender hands on his taught waist. keith squeaks again.

“oh.. how so?” keith walks over slowly, looking from the sports car to his truck that barely has a dent in it.

“i’ve been wanting to get rid of this car since i got it three years ago.” lance says. “my fancy rich parents got it for me for my twenty-third birthday and i’ve always hated it.” he looks over and finds keith’s eyes.

keith goes beet red.

“i got into a fight with said parents about it a few days ago and kinda prayed that something bad would happen to it.” lance continues, crossing his arms over his chest. “guess that makes you like my angel or something?”

what. the fucking. hell.

keith goes all the way red, so red that the blood from his gash blends into his face almost perfectly. lance just smiles wide and cheekily like he knows what he’s doing and keith knows he does.

“kidding.” lance says with a laugh and a smirk. he walks away to his car and proceeds to open the drivers side door, grabbing a backpack and a rather large duffle bag from the small backseat. he grabs a few more things from the cupholder, the armrest, and reaches over to the passenger side for the glove compartment, shoving all those items into his duffle bag. he grabs the keys out of the ignition and closes the door, pressing the lock button twice. pulling his phone from his back pocket, he takes a picture of the damages to his car and nods his head. “alright, sent.”

“what??” keith’s eyes grow wide. “you just-!”

“i just sent a pic to my annoying parents. yeah, man.” lance is smiling and keith is falling hard. he reaches over to the front of keith’s truck and peels off his license plate, smiling at it. “this will make a great mantelpiece above my parent’s fireplace. what do you think?” he smiles at keith and raises one of his perfectly arched eyebrows.

keith can’t help but smile back. this man is devious. “i.. think it’s badass.”

lance’s eyes do this thing where they light up like a christmas tree and keith can’t fucking feel his jelly legs!

“that’s my boy.” lance fucking purrs and okay yeah keith is 100% sure he moans.

a lot happens in those next few minutes because words are exchanged and the next thing keith knows, his drop dead gorgeous angel is in the passenger seat of his giant truck and they’re driving to the nearest hospital for keith to get stitches. after a good look in the mirror and the adrenaline leaving his veins, keith realized that his gash was actually that. a deep one. it was bleeding down his face and crusting and he concluded that he needed to get it checked out. at least he could play the hurt card and get out of work for a day, maybe two. after he finished his delivery, he’s not that hurt.

as for lance? well.. let’s just say that he was pretty happy holding keith’s hand while he got stitches. and talking up the cute nurse at the front desk to lower the bill for keith’s stitches. and paying said bill for keith’s stitches. and finishing the delivery with keith. and even driving all the way home to some fancy gated community full of giant mansion-like houses with big swimming pools and porcelain fountains.

it’s about 2pm when they finish their little adventure as keith parks his truck just outside of the gated neighborhood. he reaches up to touch the gauze on his forehead and receives a slap to the hand.

“no!” lance yells, “don’t touch! you gotta let it heal properly.”

“right,” keith nods nervously, fidgeting with the dark leather gloves on his hands. lance seems to notice them and points.

“aren’t you hot in those?” he asks. “it’s like eighty degrees out.”

“nah,” keith shrugs, staring at his hands, “i pretty much lived in the desert, so im used to the heat.”

for some reason that makes lance smile. not too much but enough to make keith realize that he would do anything to make him smile over and over.

“yeah, being used to the heat must be nice and all,” lance shrugs, “considering how hot you are.”

an actual jolt of electricity runs up keith’s spine so hard that he has to subtly arch his back away from the leather seat because he’s pretty sure it’s getting hot in his truck and he doesn’t mean the temperature.

lance seems to notice because his smile doesn’t falter. it hasn’t faltered all day. not after the accident. not at the hospital. not at keith’s delivery site or the long drive back to lance’s home. he’s been smiling all day considering his precious car being totaled and his wealthy parents most likely being furious with him.

“i apologize for being so forward but,” lance sighs like he’s been dying to get this off his chest, “can i.. get your number?”

keith chokes on air. “m-my… number??”

lance nods. “yeah. like, your phone number.”

“.. why?” keith fucking blurts out like a goddamn idiot!!! his face seems to match the screaming voice in his head because lance continues to smile, chuckles even. he’s so beautiful.

“so i can text you for your insurance information, duh?” lance smirks. when keith takes his sarcasm seriously, lance rolls his eyes. “oh my god, so i can call you sometime!.. m-maybe..”

“me!?” keith can’t believe this. “you want to call me?”

lance nods, turning his body towards keith so he can face him. “yeah. is that.. cool?”

“yes!” keith nods rapidly, “i mean.. sure.”

“cool.” lance bites his lower lip as he reaches for his phone in his lap. they exchange phone numbers and lance goes as far as to take a picture of keith for his picture in his phone. when keith tries to hide stating that his long hair is messy and the bandage on his head looks dumb, lance reassures him that he looks cute and how he wanted to remember keith just like he is now. ‘sexy, yet adorable’ he said. keith literally can’t keep being tortured like this.

it was keith’s turn to take a picture of lance. his hair was a perfect kind of messy and his lips glossy with cinnamon lip balm, a scent that filled the air in keith’s truck. he smiled big, so big that his eyes kind of closed and turned into crescents. he was just so insanely gorgeous that keith didn’t know what to do with himself!!! he saved his name as guardian angel lance with a blue heart emoji to match those hypnotic eyes. his favorite eyes.

as their time came to an excruciatingly sad end, they said their goodbyes. lance opened keith’s hand and placed something inside before reaching over and planting a scorching hot kiss to keith’s cheek, thanking him for the eventful day. keith was a stone cold statue as lance happily made his way out of the truck and into his gated neighborhood, putting in some kind of PIN code before the rather large gates opened up to let him in. he turned to wave goodbye to keith before he disappeared down a hill.

when keith came to, he looked down in his hand to see the cinnamon lip balm sitting in the palm of his hand, waves of exhilaration and adoration swimming along the insides of his stomach. his heart did a small little pang and he had to clutch his chest at the unfamiliar feeling.

is this.. love?

to be continued..?

part 2

[viennakarma]

RAE

RAE

RAE

RAE

RAE

MAFIA STROLLONSO

I FOUND A VID

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6YlT7gNBph/?igsh=MTBlNzYxcWlxeGkycQ==

YOU ARE RIGHT ‼️ and I’m making it everyone’s business

no because this is scene in drive to survive is literally my lance stroll awakening and it’s also the start of the strollonso!mafia stuff!

I’m slowly writing something about this, mostly smutty instead of my regular angst!

[an-aura-about-you]

sometimes I look at TMA stuff and it's very clear to me that it's a younger person writing the fic.

I say that, lovingly, because I know based on the commonly accepted timeline that I'm like 2 years older than Jon and Martin would be, which means their tastes are probably closer to mine and others who are pushing 40.

[bukuoshin]

Clowns are the purest expression of God's love for humanity and this Earth and its creatures, so jot that down real quick.

[onenakedfarmer]

Watching

DEADLAND Lance Larson USA, 2023

[haute-lifestyle-com]

Deadland, from Strike Media, presents a contemporary supernatural drama as an immigrant attempting to illegally enter the U.S. is captured, which sets off a series of events leading border agents further into the past as a truth unravels

[formulamar]

she’s a ferrari - part 3

charles leclerc x yn!ferrari

fc: addison rae

summary: as a child, the great-grand daughter of Enzo Ferrari used to spend her weekends hanging around the paddock. but once she went off to university her appearances became rare. what happens when she starts working for Ferrari? and... one of the drivers steals her heart.

READ PART TWO HERE

NOVEMBER 2023

twitter

ynferrari's story

twitter

charles_leclerc

liked by joris__trouche and 905,679 others

charles_leclerc: I gave absolutely everything today. Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for the support throughout the whole season. It's been a tough one and I already can't wait to be in 2024 to be hopefully fighting for wins again ❤️

5,382 comments

ynferrari: you make us proud everyday ❤️

liked by charles_leclerc

DECEMBER 2023

ynferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 109,354 others

ynferrari: finally gradu-ATE-ed!!!!! big thank you to my family, my friends and to beautiful London!!! you've treated me so well. can't wait for this next chapter, but its painfully bittersweet to close out this one. 🎓💐🤍

6,039 comments

carmenmmundt: intelligent AND gorgeous 🥰

-> ynferrari: you're my inspiration 🥲

fernandoalonso: Lo hiciste!! (you did it)

liked by ynferrari

carlossainz55: 👏👏👏

ynscousin: CONGRATULAZIONI YN 🍾 also how did you get rid of your jet lag so fast?

-> ynferrari: trust it was a pain 😭

ynbff: WE DID IT BABES!!!! ILY

landonorris: are you sure they didn't hand you someone else's diploma on accident?

-> ynferrari: just shut up and come to the party 🙄

user: who bought you that degree?

tifosi2019: from one grad to another congratulations yn!

-> ynferrari: congratulations to you as well!

charles_leclerc: Smartest person I know ❤️ Congratulations

-> ynferrari: grazie bello :))

-> lordcharles: EVERYONE SEEING THIS INTERACTION

ferrarifan03: CONGRATS YN!!!!

ynfan53: CONGRADULATIONS PRETTY GIRL

tifosi75: yn...is it possible this next chapter involves you being in the paddock more often??

-> ynferrari: 😉😉

user: spoiled brat

-> ynferrari: not too shabby yourself xx

-> ferrarifan03: HELPPPPP

rumorhasitf1

liked by f1fan, ynbff and 4,673 others

rumorhasitf1: RUMOR HAS IT

Rumor has it that various f1 drivers attended YN Ferrari's graduation party in London on December 9th. Guests included Fernando Alonso, Carlos Sainz, Mick Schummacher, Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri, Lance Stroll, George Russel and YN's rumored boyfriend Charles Leclerc. Susi and Toto Wolff were also in attendance. Witnesses state that YN and Charles held hands, danced and conversed throughout the whole evening.

753 comments

norrisluv: now the important question is what did he gift her...

-> lechairs: EXACTLYYYYY IM SO CURIOUS

lec4: getting emotional just imagining this...cutest couple to ever couple

charlnor: susi and toto being there is a little random to me not gonna lie...

-> scunteriafer: i'm hoping it's just cause they've known yn since she was little and they have a close bond and not because of anything else

cl16fan: Charles and Yn dancing together... i'm actually dying

lonso14: imagine nando just glaring at charles the whole night FHSKAJFLD

f1fan05: WAS FRED THERE @/rumorhasitf1

-> rumorhasitf1: Our source says yes!

ferrarienthusiast38: YN'S BESTIE IN THE LIKES HELLOFDJKSLJ

ln4s: it's got to be true then omgggg

lordpercevalfan: can we talk about this pic holy hell Charles how'd you bag that

twitter

PADDOCK GOSSIP

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩

formulaamar 🎬: i wanted to get this out way earlier than i was able to but i couldn’t because school started again for me 🙄 and ive been busy with that but here’s part 3!!! this was supposed to be the last part but i decided why not add a little more hehe 😇 remember to comment if you wanna be on the taglist!!! ALSO ITS FINALLY RACE WEEK AGAIN LETS GO LETS HOPE FOR FERRARI FIXED THEIR FREAKING CAR 🥰

taglist 🌷🏷️: @agmoon03 @sarx164 @janeh22 @kindestofkings @ttokkisbee @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @lottalove4evelyn @1800-love-me @forza-charles @blushmimi @emryb @heavy-vettel @tvdtw4ever @harrysdimples05 @chelle1306 @majasophieanna

[olibird]

SC, looking for Ocs

So because I’m new, I’m going to hopefully make a list of OCs! (So I can actually remember who goes to who) Please tell me about your own if you’re not on the list, or if you have multiple and I missed one! Feel free to fill this out to help make it easier :D KitKat (19-25) @olibird (Mine as a example)

Dawn (7-28)  by @tw1nkee28

Lucky (7-77)  by @koirian

Switchblade (19-04)  by @mythrite

Pixel (11-18 ) by @mr-1-2-3-4

Flannel (---)  by @ram-bams-blog

Cerberus (7-11) by @pampanope

---- 3-09 by @vithoma

Valkyrie (18-1)    by @shadow18-1 

Orion (2-15)  by @zante-selachi

Jack (11-0)   by @graynaricsukavluya

Selena (10-13)   by @toastthewolfie

Bullet (7-9)    by @walder-138

Walker (4-3)   by @8-rae-rae-8

Violet (9-14)   by @mask-v

Grandpa  by @niresenrab

Reed (4-06) by @justasmolbard

Nomad (---) by @mortal-kombattore-115

Wyvern (---) by  @cyanidebitsg

Traitor (1-6) by @shadow1-6 

Azrael (6-1)  by @insomniacsystem

Phoenix (7-5)  by @insomniacsystem

V (0-2)  by @insomniacsystem

Firefly (0-13)  by @insomniacsystem

Icarus (1-3) by @insomniacsystem

Voitto (2-2)  by @warborn-tragedy

Salo (2-1)  by @warborn-tragedy

Teramen (3-5) by @imakosideas

Joker (5-9)  by @kings-out-of-pocket-hell

Lance (---)  by @iamcautiouslyoptimistic

Peaches (7-22) by @pampanope

Камшат (---) by @kankan0fficial

Sentinel (0-4)  by @kalys-404

Dr. Jekyll (---)  by  @strawbkiwi

Muscles (2-9) by  @frogcereal29

Chisel (---)  by @chisaikan

Shark (---) by @tekioshark

Vein (14-31)  by @8-rae-rae-8

Walker (4-3) by @8-rae-rae-8

Nire (10-21) by @niresenrab

Ace (0-13) by @insomniacsystem

Nighthawks (---) by tampaknight44 (TikTok)

Ash (9-15)  by @honeydew-jam

Azz (3-4) by @doodling-doodle

Fish (13-13) by @mentally-unavailable

Flatline (5-7)  by @imakosideas

---- 4-9 by @imakosideas

Parlour (9-3) by @asenith

Panops (1-2)  by @honeydew-jam

Anderson (---) by @i-n-k-s

Beau (4-14)  by @i-n-k-s

Murphy (3-2)  by @i-n-k-s

Shion (---)  by @callsignkatzchen

Ninja (7-4)  by @the11tailed

Coyote (10-19) by @toastthewolfie

Breakfast (4-63)  by @honeydew-jam

Boiler (4-65) by  @honeydew-jam

Jackrabbit (---)  by @tw1nkee28

Dr. O'Connors (2-5)  by @mothman-juicy-ass

Templar (1-7)  by  tampaknight44 (TikTok)

Wraith (9-02) by @thegreatllamatamer

Moth (12-3)  by @lemons-pears

Montessori (---)    by @loneghostdreams

Matchstick (9-1)    by @tiredbi-peach

Icarus (10-6)   by @tiredbi-peach

Lovelace (8-9)   by @tiredbi-peach

Wolf (---)     by  @ur-local-snowman

Shark (---)   by  @ur-local-snowman

Orca (2-7)   by @zante-selachi

Ro (6-02)  by @justasmolbard

Eyeball (---)  by @jarofteeths

Hydra (2-0)  by @edenkyubiko

REDACTED (---) by @kings-out-of-pocket-hell

Tick (8-5) by @imborredandwanttolookatthings

Moff (4-04) by  @mentally-unavailable

Ek (---) by  @toastthewolfie 

Agnelli (7-29)  by @asenith

Kill (77-4)   by  @kurt-dontcry

Vendetta (2-3)  by  @zante-selachi

Mac (7-23)   by @grimmartists

Wraith (6-4)  by  @sw11ft

Rune (8-8) by @insomniacsystem

Panzer (1-13) by @callsignkatzchen

Backdoor (---) by @the11tailed

Bee (2-11)  by @justasmolbard

Firefly (7-7) by @insomniacsystem

Possum (7-89)  by @tiredbi-peach

Maverick (---) by @rottenb0gb0dy

Ash (---)   by @rottenb0gb0dy

Wasp (---) by @rottenb0gb0dy 

Spitfire (---) by @rottenb0gb0dy

Jaws (---) by @rottenb0gb0dy

Sparks (---) by @rottenb0gb0dy

Rex (---) by @rottenb0gb0dy

Hearken (5-02)  by @callsign-hearken

Lynx (---) by @Chaos_Idiot

Takker (---) by @crazyfandomluver

Grimes (---)  by @asenith

Phantom (2-24)  by  @kalys-404

Angel (3-13) by @mentally-unavailable

Load (5-05) by @justasmolbard   

Artemis (0-7) by @insomniacsystem

Lock (5-15) by @tiredbi-peach

(Also google doc of the info i've found on Ocs! Plz tell if any info is incorrect or if you want me to add more!)

SC Ocs Info Page :D

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Im curious to know how would Lance would react to and say about the risgeside villagers like Freddie and Lola, Jio and Daia and the other magical characters! <3

Sure thing :3

_________________________________________

When Lance spots Lola and Freddie walking peacefully through the Ridgeside Village main square, he will greet them politely and bow to them as a sign of respect for elders. The two old couple will stop and chat a bit with the young adventurer, not missing the opportunity to reminisce about their youth and offer a couple pieces of advice. All three are smiling and the atmosphere is relaxed. At least because Lance is smart enough not to ask too many questions. He knows perfectly well who is in front of him. And while Lance knows that these old couple are retired adventurer-assassins who wish no harm to anyone, they could kill him in a heartbeat with the flick of a finger. He admires this and is a little tense about it. But everyone parted on a good note, as Lance is a well-mannered young man, and Lola and Freddie always welcome kind youth.

Lance swears that if Isaac and Jio were placed side by side, the adventurer would have the audacity to say they were twins. Not in appearance, but in their murderous stare, resting bitch face, anti-social behavior, and even their posture. Only the pink-haired man wanted to ask the living elf (a living elf!) a few questions, as immediately got in his face the phrases "You don't belong here" and "Why are you still here?". Yoba almighty... The elf's temper is worse than Isaac's. It's like Lance is talking to an obnoxious child... The fact that Lance is a mage and adventurer added fuel to the fire, because Jio doesn't want the bigwigs at the Ministry to find out about the cult. Lance decides to back off to avoid a fight. There's no point in spilling blood.

Before Lance could step back, he heard a slightly squeaky "Kiwi stab you! Intruder!" and turned around to see... junimo coming toward him. Hmm, a strange junimo that didn't emanate forest magic... Jio managed to teleport between Kiwi and Lance. "Jio must not stop Kiwi from stabbing the impostor!" Kiwi is junimo's name, huh? Interesting. But that was something to think about another time. So Lance decided to left Ridge immediately, while Kiwi is trying her best to prove to Jio that they "should chase down the pink man and stab him with knifes!"

And just when the adventurer thought the rest of his day would go smoothly, Daia appeared out of nowhere, showering the slightly tired Lance with more compliments and ambiguous hints. On another day he might have played along, or even counterattacked the insistent lady with flirting, but he's already a little tired. Especially since he senses the same aura as he did from the elf with junimo, and her clothes immediately tell him that this is another cult member. Daia has already had enough of playing with Lance and before she teleported away, without removing her smile, she threatened him that if any of her members were injured, she would destroy him. Lance assured her that he didn't want to hurt anyone, so the two parted on a more or less good note. Although, after her hints, Lance had a feeling- Well, he doesn't have to think about it, because he's well-mannered.

Belinda and Raeriyala couldn't help but notice magical aura emanating from the newcomer, and they remembered Farmer's words that this pink haired man could be trusted. Rae wanted to remain secretive, but Belinda was too curious, and was not afraid of Lance at all: she could stand up for herself, plus her loyal followers were always on guard. The spirit appeared before Lance too abruptly, forcing the adventurer to grasp the hilt of his sword. Just as Belinda was about to scare him some more, her beloved Raeriyala scolded Bel for her rudeness and apologized to Lance. They can see that he has a kind aura, and if he makes a promise to remain silent about them, they can answer a couple of his questions.

[taocc-updates]

”Oh, you like Taocc? Name every character.”

BET.

edit: I added the vague number of total characters listed. We’re at about 270, and I’m still adding characters.

(*By technicality

**formerly/no longer active/no longer acknowledged by the narrative as existing

***exist as of like ten seconds ago

I will only be including characters recognized as part of Taocc by more than one person. Characters will be vaguely grouped together however the frick I feel like and with only the vague suggestion of transitions. A character must have a tangible role that still has effects at the time of posting to be counted. I’m not counting all the deactivated characters from OG Taocc, for example. I am referencing the updates blog list as well as my following for this, because the challenge is to name them all, not to name them all by memory. Animals barely count sometimes when I feel like it.)

Gangle, Ragatha**, Pomni**, Kinger**, Zooble**, Caine*, Bubble**, S-Gangle, Shadow, Kaufmo, Sproingle, Unnamed Abtractions*, Easton West, Northa West, Lonn Gitud, Lattia Tudor, Felicia, Caleb, Zachariah Woods, Zombie anon, Simon Mallory/Silhouette/Aleksander, Isaac Brennan/Mix, Elida Doyle, Alice Mallory, Nikolai Harrison/Carbine, Artemis/Kepler, Calamity/Cassandra, Remnant, Sami Harrison, Yelena, Daniel, Artem, Charles/Plague Doctor Anon, Dialtone/Drias, Ilas/Amalgam, Trevor***, Archie***, Abigail***, Stella***, Paisley***, Espresso the Cat, Edward/Pharaoh, Abayomi, Clown Anon, Colorbine, Helpful Anon, Waffle Anon, Sparkler Anon, Kumo, Kopi, Violet, Stitch, Chance, Nightmare, Arthur Pendragon, Verie Pendragon, Mercutio, Juliet/Assassin Anon, Aokigahara, Dunite, Rocky, Rusty, Ryan, Dunite’s Parents, Deedee, Usagi/Usa, Icia/Ice anon, Fred, Odette/Odysseys, Samuel, Mytha, Celio, Basso, Vaga, Nova, Hexe, Slynn, Yume, Yume’s Mother and Father, the Protector, Ramona/Rae, Mirobelle, Ramiro, Achilles, Dime, Aklatan, Latte, Alexander (kingdom edition), Mocha, Switchboard, Ace Zeppelin, Damsel, Levi, Nathan, Myau, Nya, Mynou, Dusk, Jessy, Amelia, Jessy’s mother, Fynn, Joy, Ciana, Apollo, Virgo, Aster, Lance, Raina, Flare, Citrina, Citrina’s sisters (the only named one is “Jade”), Nymn, Nymn’s ex, Fae anon, Clara, Chip, Alpen, Unnamed Zodiac Angels, Kade, Feris, Pixel, Vanessa, Unnamed Arcade Worker 2/Mike, Conny, Shairo (deceased permanently), Hans, “John Smith”, Gun Pirate (lol), Unnamed Drunk Pirate, Unnamed Jar Lady, Unnamed third pirate with a gun, Dalia, Mikey, Anderson, Toga, Abstraction Anon, Quin, Blaze (Squiffer edition)/Zephyr, Skeleton anon, Mage Anon/Tanya, Camara, Avian, Sign Anon/Steven, Origami Anon/Octavia, Tea Anon/Kitsune/Katrina, Simon (Bookend), Seer anon/Sarah, Umbra, Arrows anon, Bow Anon, (Other) Bow Anon, Hex, Sun, Moon*, Sigil, Insanity, Dusty, Lantern/Eternal Flame, Eternity, Darkis, Infinity, Entity, Ember, Unknown, Juko, Lilo, Bob, Hammer, Mallet, Fox anon, Teleporting anon, Nuffle, Pyxel, Thanatos, Tiger, Siam, Sabrina (Sun’s daughter), Taika, Sisu, Quest, Tip, Stranger, Radio, Shelly, Astrion, Gaia, Aella, Electricity anon, Conspiracy anon, Bap Anon, Eve.chr, Phoenix*, The Dragon of Abyss, The Dragoness of Sky, Lemonade/Lewis, Reverie/Guidance anon, Unnamed Autumn Season, Unnamed Winter Season, Neb, Cardlan, Minimi, Entity (Backrooms edition), Casper, Manna, Pamela, Eden*, Grif, Trudy, Pen, Paper, Sophronius, Acacius, Milo, Drunk anon (deceased), Scissors anon, Thief Anon, Void anon, Cupcake anon, Chaos Enjoyer Anon, Thyme, Angst anon, villain anon, “Lucy”, Simp anon, Comax, Pickle gifter anon, pickle stealer anon, fish anon, deus ex machinanon, mail anon, foundation anon, lost anon, dropkick anon, Bug anon, Paranoia Anon, Rocket launcher anon, Kyubey, Mimic, Rodger, Ludvic, sunshine anon, anger anon, Frazzle, Wade, Loyal anon, Loyal Servant anon, the cookie run cookies lol, Felicia (top hat edition), Tophat, Greenie, Red(?), The Polygon Bees (TM), Eepy anon, Ethan, Dark, Void/Ollie, DJ, Star, Mercury/Marcus, Elysia/Evangeline Elizabeth Ambrosia, Blaze (Planetquest edition)/Brandon, Jasper, Callista/Leilani, Ursula, Ari, Lumiel/Lark, uhhh…I think that’s it

did I do it do I freaking win

Someone please count how many characters there are (there should be one comma per character if that helps)

Edit: Nevermind, I did it for you.

This is a vague number, the actual number is higher than this, maybe about 270-300

[damnlance]

part 3 of my random klance blurb. (keith’s pov)

what a crazy day.

after returning his truck to work and explaining to his boss the events that transpired, keith was able to get 3 days off from work to recover from the accident. although he didn’t really see it as an accident. he did get a pretty boy’s number and a kiss on his cheek. compared to any other boring day, it was great day for him.

but just like lance having to tell his parents about the accident, keith had to tell his older brother. he wasn’t ready for all the lectures about being safe and careful.. so he told his brother-in-law, adam, instead. who ended up telling his brother. and about half an hour later, keith was getting picked up by shiro, who was worried sick.

“i can’t believe you got hit!” he exclaimed. keith wasn’t even halfway in the car yet before shiro had his big hands all over his face and body.

“ow! shiro, stop!” keith pushed him away, sending him a deadpanned look. “this is exactly why i contacted adam and not you!”

shiro scoffed, driving away from keith’s job in disbelief at his little brother’s sentence. “adam and i don’t keep secrets from each other. that’s how marriage works.”

keith fake gagged and stared out the window as shiro gave him his famous lecture on marriage and how to be in a successful relationship blah, blah, fucking blah. keith only pretended to listen as he thought about his day. it was barely night now as the stars began peeking out from the clouds and he couldn’t help but be mesmerized by them. he loved the stars ever since he was a little boy. he always dreamed of being up there one day, just like shiro. but reality became too real for him and that dream faded into the background.

“keith??”

a tap to the leg and keith is reeling back in from his thoughts.

“huh?” he looks over at shiro who’s got his eyes on the road and one hand on keith’s knee.

“i said are you sure you’re okay?” shiro repeats. “did you go to the hospital?”

“yeah,” keith nods. “i got a few stitches in my forehead-”

“what-!?” shiro damn near swerves the car trying to whip keith’s head around so he can see.

“-but im fine!” keith pushes his hand away. “fucking hell, focus on the road.”

it’s a long drive back to keith’s apartment. he explains to shiro the subtle details of the accident and leaves it at that. he doesn’t say much about lance or how amazing he is, just that he was a kind stranger who took care of him. shiro said something along the lines of how keith could’ve been killed talking to strangers like that and keith had to remind shiro that he was a twenty-eight year old man who can take care of himself. if lance tried anything at all, keith would have been ready to slice him up.

after being dropped off at his apartment, and reassuring shiro that he didn’t need a babysitter, keith settled into his home immediately. he showered, changed into his pajamas, and even ate a tv dinner while watching some gameshow marathon. he doesn’t get too many channels on his old tv so he takes what he can get.

after dinner, keith settles into his bed. he had a long day. he didn’t have a concussion or whiplash, surprisingly. just a gash. and stitches..

stitches that are really fucking itchy.

keith reaches up to scratch at them and suddenly feels someone slap his hand away. he jumps when he realizes it’s lance’s hand.

the memory of lance’s hand, anyway.

keith sits up in his bed and reaches into the pocket of his black pajama pants, grabbing his phone to unlock it. he takes a breath and goes to his contact list, finding lance’s name.

guardian angel lance.

it’s weird how keith really thought that of lance just after a few hours of being in his presence. there was something so.. good about him. something that was right on the surface that made keith want to drop everything just to be near him again. it was unusual..

he made keith feel unusual. but not in a bad way. just in a way that had keith’s stomach twisting in knots and feeling like he needed to puke the tv dinner digesting inside of his stomach out onto his bed.

what’s that feeling called..?

he didn’t know.

what he did know is that his palms were getting sweaty. he was staring down at his phone, at the contact he pulled up, wishing for some sort of miracle to happen. he wasn’t the best at initiating things and didn’t have a plan in sight on what to do.

should he call? do people still call others and talk on the phone? what do they even talk about?

maybe he should text? texting isn’t his strong suite either.. he can’t even remember to text shiro back until three days later cause he replied in his brain, just not in his phone.

fuck, why is this so hard???

because he doesn’t want to seem needy. or desperate. or like.. some stalker or something.

taking a deep breath and holding it, keith bites his lower lip and clicks on the name. lance’s picture is the first thing to catch his eyes.. god, he’s so hot. the option to text or call comes up. keith opts for the text option and promises that he won’t be lazy or forgetful. how can he be when it’s someone like.. lance.

letting out his breath, keith’s thumbs move across the keyboard rapidly. he doesn’t know what he’s doing, just letting his body take control, and before he knows it, he’s pressing send.

his phone makes the sound of the message being sent and he instantly panics. it’s a simple ‘hi’ but it’s enough to have him freaking out.

“oh… o-oh, my god!??” he yells, throwing his phone across the room. literally. it hits the navy blue painted wall just next to his bedroom door. he freezes, staring at it. like finding a bug on the wall. like maybe if he doesn’t move, his phone can’t see him. and that message will unsend.

one minute turns to two..

three..

keith hasn’t moved. he can’t. he’s precisely frozen with fear. and he feels.. stupid for it.

his body grows hot. he can feel the warmth travel up his neck and to his face, filling out his cheeks. then up to his ears. his heart is throbbing against his ribcage over, and over, and fucking over. he sits up in his bed and tucks his knees to his chest, feeling the thrumming against his thighs. he wraps his arms around himself and frowns. it’s been four minutes..

what if lance doesn’t.. care anymore..? what if lance forgot all about him?

it wouldn’t be the first time someone’s forgotten all about him. it’s pretty easy.

this whole thing was a big fucking mistake.

bzz!

okay, maybe it wasn’t!!

keith hops out of his bed like a madman and rushes over to his most likely cracked phone. he dives to the ground, landing on his stomach and chest, and picks up his phone. he waits two seconds, agitation filling his veins, then flips the phone over.

New Message

Guardian Angel Lance 💙

OHHHH MY GODDD!!!!

he texted baaack!!

keith’s heart was beating into fucking next week!!

okay okay! chill out!? just!! CHILL!

oh my god..

keith closes his eyes and holds his breath. he taps on the screen and unlocks it with his four digit password, going straight into messages. lance’s message.

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

hey! thought you'd never text me :) how's your head?

received 8:34PM

keith’s chest is heaving up and down. he bites his lip. he doesn’t think. he can’t really think. he texts back.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Good. My head is good. Itchy.

Sent 8:34 PM

Sent.

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

i bet. >_< but no more scratching!

received 8:35 PM

keith smiles, touching his head. it’s tender. he stands from the floor and types back, sitting back onto his bed.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Okay. No promises though

Sent 8:35 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

wow. it’s only been a few hours and you’re already willing to break promises. that hurts keith.

received 8:36 PM

the corner of keith’s mouth lifts up. it wasn’t as scary as he thought..

so they continue to talk through text and get to know each other a little better. they talk about their hectic day. about cars. lance drives a bmw in the color ‘long beach metallic blue.’ a gift from his parents, keith remembers. keith has a motorcycle but it’s sitting in shiro’s garage waiting for keith to fix her up. so for now, he either takes ubers or walks. or has people he knows drive him places. he always offers to drive, but he doesn’t really do well with others in the car watching him. with trucks, it’s different. they talk about their jobs. keith is a certified truck driver but after today, who knows. he’s been a driver for four years and loves it. he hopes to ‘retire’ and find something else soon. lance states he’s in between jobs right now but is trying to save up his money to get his own apartment as soon as he can.

they talk about pets. keith mentions his dog, kosmo, who’s half german shepard and half wolf. or something. keith doesn’t know, he found him as a pup (or a cub?) one day 2 years ago, outside in the rain, all alone. so he scooped him up and took him home and he’s been keith’s trusty companion ever since. they go everywhere together and he’s the greatest guard dog ever. he enjoys sleeping outside of keith’s door, guarding him just in case. and although his apartment doesn’t really allow dogs of kosmo’s size, keith’s landlord is terrified of him and doesn’t say anything. kosmo is perfectly harmless. when he likes you. lance mentions his cat. an orange cat who hates everyone, including him. her name is red because she was born with red-orange fur. he actually sends a picture of her, which prompts keith to send one of kosmo..

lance goes on a rant about how kosmo is nothing close to a dog whatsoever and that his landlord has every reason to be afraid.

keith laughs.

they talk about food. lance has a very strong love for italian food and says that if he were to die, his last meal would be a big bowl of pasta with the butteriest garlic knots and a giant pop. he says his best friend’s family is italian and that her mom makes a special meal for lance’s birthday every year. every year. keith feels dumb after hearing that but answers that fast food is his go to. growing up with a dad who was always busy and not very good at cooking will do that. Lance sympathizes. and promises to teach keith to cook, stating that cooking is in his blood and that in cuba, where’s he’s from, everyone can cook. everyone.

keith holds him to that promise. lance hearts his message.

they talk about video games. lance explains how retro video games are his all time favorite and how he used to play the killbot phantasm series with his siblings growing up. keith didn’t really have time for video games throughout his life so he doesn’t know much. he’s been to the arcade a few times but it was mostly to beat shiro at air hockey. which he always did.

they talk about friends. lance has three best friends named hunk, pidge, and allura. hunk is his age, twenty-six, and is a chef at a restaurant with his wife, shay. pidge is twenty-three, and works for nasa. yep, that nasa. she’s always away so lance barely gets to see her, but she’s the coolest friend in their group for sure. and allura. she’s a twenty-eight year old florist with her uncle coran and her best friend, romelle. keith talks about shiro. his half brother. he used to be an astronaut and even went to mars. yep, that mars. unfortunately, he lost his arm in the process on a mission gone rouge. after his recovery, he went back out in the field for a few more years before he retired. and since the accident, he could retire. very well. he talks about matthew, who’s shiro’s best friend, college and astronaut buddy. he gave up the astronaut gig and is an astrophysics teacher up at some college. and how could he forget his best friend, acxa. she’s twenty-nine and in the military. fighting for the country as a major. but she’s basically the lieutenant commander.

after five hours and almost a hundred text messages, keith dozes off, but not before saying good night to the only person he could talk to for a hundred more hours.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Good night Lance.

Sent 1:54 AM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

night keith. talk to you later?

received 1:54 AM

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Yeah. Of course.

Sent 1:54 AM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

promise..?

received 1:55 AM

and keith can’t help but smile, a light pigmentation of pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

I promise.

Sent 1:55 AM

lance hearts the message.

keith falls asleep..

something wet and cold touching keith’s face causes him to stir awake, reaching for the knife underneath his pillow. he opens his eyes to see kosmo there, sitting ever so politely, dark eyes focused on his owner.

a deep breath and keith can relax.

“hey boy,” he greets his dog with a deep, raspy voice. he reaches out and smooths kosmo’s soft black fur back, scratching behind his ears and underneath his chin. “what time is it?”

kosmo only whines, opening his big mouth to clamp down on keith’s wrist and drag him out of bed.

“oh!” keith lets himself be pulled, out of his room and to his kitchen. kosmo stops at the pantry, scratching the door with his claws. keith yawns and stretches his arms over his head. “alright. let’s eat.”

he opens the pantry door and grabs kosmo’s bag of kibble food, setting it on the counter. he pours a little of it inside as the base for the raw food. then he walks over to the fridge to grab some other things to put inside kosmo’s food. he grabs three quail eggs and crushes them up, shells included. he then grabs a container full of cooked cod and grabs a fork, cutting up a slice of that and dropping it into the massive, ceramic dog bowl. rabbit heart and two frozen duck feet are next and keith is surprised he never gags from any of this. he throws in some chicken hearts, a few sardines, a scoop of fermented veggies, some pineapple chunks, and two homemade frozen dog treats, shaped like cute little paws, made from raspberries, beets and parsley. a few drizzles of coconut oil and keith is done. the contents in the bowl could look gross to anyone else.. but keith is used to it. and kosmo loves it. he is a growing boy after all.

walking over to kosmo’s designated eating area, keith places the dog bowl onto a small, propped up dog table. kosmo sits down next to the bowl and waits for keith’s command. keith pets kosmo’s head once more, scratching behind his fluffy ears and underneath his chin before he gives the command.

“eat.” he says. and kosmo digs right in.

it’s ten o’clock, keith discovers, and he’s extremely tired. but he does have the rest of the week off, technically giving him a five day weekend from the accident so he could sleep in all day and watch some crappy tv. or he could go to the gym with shiro and adam.

you could text lance the voice in the back of his brain says.

keith gets a pang of butterflies so hard in his stomach he has to stop the cringe and the second hand embarrassment from preventing himself from doing it.

he could text lance. if lance was awake. yeah.

sure.

keith walks to his room and plops down on his bed, grabbing his phone from behind his pillow. he checks the screen. one message from shiro. one from matt. a notification about the weather today. the highest will be 70 degrees and the lowest will be 50. gotta appreciate this spring weather.

keith opens shiro’s message about meeting up at the gym at 11 and how his head was doing. he opens matt’s message asking if keith would like one of his famous protein smoothies before their workout. keith replies to both.

To: Grandpa brother

Yes just woke up. Getting ready now. My head is fine. Itchy.

Sent 10:14 AM

To: Yoga Matt

Thank you. No banana. And if you’re going to do banana, a small slice please.

Sent 10:14 AM

keith sighs when he doesn’t see a message from lance. he’s probably still asleep. but that’s okay. keith has no problem texting first. it’s not bad to text first right? it shows he’s interes-.. cares. it shows he cares..

but.. he should take a shower and get ready to go first. yeah. he can do that.

“how’s your head, wet hair?” shiro asks, reaching over to touch keith’s head. keith is quick and slaps his hand.

“im fine.” he grumbles, reaching up to touch his exposed stitches. “matt said he’d patch me up at the gym..”

shiro gives a hum of approval. keith sighs and stares out the window, biting his lower lip. he swirls his mouth around, playing with his tongue ring. it’s sore from keith taking it out for a few hours so he could have a break from it. it doesn’t bother him too much but some days he could do without it. it’s a stupid piercing for him. he was a dumb, angry teenager and knew for sure shiro would be furious if he came home with it. he was right and the result was satisfying. but now he has to live with the hole in his tongue. all because of a little angst.

what a fucking punk, he thinks about his teenage self.

he thinks about lance’s septum piercing and how it had diamonds on it. he considered them to be fake, just a decoration, but when he mentioned the whole rich parents fiasco and seeing the rich neighborhood with his own eyes, keith would not be surprised if they were real diamonds. he wonders if lance got the piercing to piss his parents off, too.

keith smiles to himself, rolling his eyes. he fiddles with the cinnamon lip balm tucked away in the pocket of his sweats.

at the gym, keith, shiro, and matt sit in the men’s locker room. matt is patching up keith’s forehead by applying some soothing ointment and a fresh bandage that’ll stick to his skin for a few hours.

“thanks.” keith mumbles, trying not to squirm. it hurts a bit and he’s itching like crazy.

matt smiles down at him, trying his best to be gentle. “this wouldn’t be the first time i had to patch up a kogane, hm?” he eyes shiro, who is sitting beside them wrapping his hands and knuckles with gauze and tape. he’s going to be boxing today.

“won’t be the last,” shiro answers, now side-eyeing keith. keith sends a smirk his way, looking up to meet eyes with matt. but matt is smiling down at him, stifling a giggle.

an hour and a half in and keith is covered in sweat, drenched in it. he did his regularly scheduled workout but decided to push himself a little more. so he got in the ring with matt. they spared for a little while before matt switched places with shiro to take a phone call. keith visibly tensed at the switch and when shiro noticed, he scoffed.

“what’s with the face?” he asked, putting on the huge punching mitts. keith raised his eyebrow, squinting his eyes.

“i think you know,” he answered, crossing his arms. shiro stands there, staring hard.

“i won’t go easy on you,” he holds his right gloved hand up, “honest.”

keith cracks his neck, rolling his head and shoulders around. just before he can charge at shiro, matt is coming back quite frantically.

“guys!” he yells, pointing to his phone. “m-my sister is back in town!! she’s at my parents house, we gotta go!!” shiro and keith share a look before they look back at matt.

“you have a sister?” keith says, now earning crazy looks from matt and shiro.

“seriously!?” matt sighs, “my baby sister, who i’ve only mentioned a hundred times since we’ve known each other? shiro’s met her.”

“okay, i haven’t,” keith shrugs, twisting his tongue ring around in his mouth. shiro and matt look at one another and share a look that reads ‘oh, maybe he’s right’ and it has keith rolling his eyes. of fucking course he’s right.

“well, do you want to?” matt offers. “my parents are getting her from the airport as we speak and should be arriving in an hour.”

keith shrugs again, removing his red boxing gloves and sweeping his sweat ridden hair back. “i need to shower bad. plus kosmo is waiting for me. rain check?”

matt nods happily as keith and shiro step out of the ring and make their way to the men’s locker room.

keith has to wait outside for matt and shiro to finish their showers. he doesn’t trust gym showers or any shower that’s not at his apartment since his juvie days and that’s that. the car ride back to his apartment is filled with matt telling stories about his sister and what she does. her name is katie and she works for a big space company, just like he did. she’s been gone for two years and will be back for six months to take a small vacation. keith hasn’t met matt’s family, but they’re all really into space and stuff like shiro. keith’s only known matt the same amount of time that he’s know shiro, i.e. 4-ish years, and he’s never really been interested in knowing any of the other holt’s.

because keith didn’t have a family. his dad died when he was nine and his mother abandoned them. he went though the remainder of his teen years in and out of foster homes and when he was thirteen, in and out of juvie. he barely finished high school and college was never an option. he went straight to finding a job and landed three of them at three different mechanic shops around the city. that’s how he afforded his motorcycle parts and his old apartment. he eventually moved to the apartment he is in now and has been living in for four years, along with the trucker job he has now.

that was also around the time when shiro tracked him down, almost beating down his door, to tell him that he’s his half brother and that they have the same father. keith was so in shock that he punched shiro in the face. and then fainted. and then gave himself a stomach virus from all the stress and shiro had to take care of him. literally. add in matt stopping by to meet him and being very much in shock at how much they look alike, and the rest is history.

so yeah, keith’s never really heard of this katie. but her job must be quite the catch if it’s kept her away for two years.

stopping in the parking lot at keith’s apartment, keith grabs his duffle bag and hops out the car.

“thanks for the ride, shiro,” he nods to his brother. “and matthew, for repairing my head.”

matt rolls his eyes as shiro lets out a chuckle, covering his mouth.

“it’s matt and fuck you.” is all he says before he’s flipping keith off. keith smirks and gives him the finger back.

“see ya, keith,” shiro smiles. “take it easy. text if you need anything.”

“sure.” keith nods before they’re driving off and onto the road.

after his much needed shower, keith plops down on the couch in his living room and lets out a loud sigh. he pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the screen.

2 New Messages

Guardian Angel Lance 💙

keith is sitting up so fast, he almost breaks his neck from the speed.

“oh, shit,” he whispers to himself. he opens the messages, tucking his long, washed and wet hair behind his ear.

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

hey! how’s it going?

received 12:36 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

busy day for me.. sleep good?

received 12:36 PM

keith smiles. his stomach does that weird drop thing again.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Hi. I’m good just got back from the gym. And yes I slept okay. How are you?

Sent 12:36 PM

lance doesn’t waste any time replying and keith revels in the attention.

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

exhausted. i forgot that i had to plan a bbq party thing for my friend pidge and had to wake up early.

received 12:37 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

2 hours of sleep in my veins. im tired keith. im dying

received 12:37 PM

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Gross. To lack of sleep and planning bbq party things. Are you resting now?

Sent 12:37 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

:) fortunately yes! the party is done and the decorations are amazing thanks to me. but im sleepy. currently hiding in my car to take a quick nap

received 12:38 PM

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Smart. Don’t let me keep you up though. You should sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up

Sent 12:38 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

:D really? you will?

received 12:38 PM

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Yes Lance I will

Sent 12:38 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

do you promise?

received 12:39 PM

keith lets out a content sigh, a small blush making its way to his cheeks and the tips of his porcelain white ears. there is something so pure about making and keeping promises with lance. it’s like they’re little kids on the playground swapping secrets and promising not to tell anyone, something that’s just theirs. keith can’t recall a single time in his life that someone has ever made him promise anything. it feels.. special.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

I promise. Go to sleep.

Sent 12:39 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

okay. but before i do, you should come by! be my guest. there’s free Italian food, free homemade cake, a BIG swimming pool

received 12:40 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

and it’ll be nice to see you again.. yknow.. and i could check on your stitches for you too man

received 12:40 PM

record scratch.

keith is standing up now in the middle of his living room with kosmo laying by his feet, staring up at him.

the room is suddenly very hot.

lance wants him to be his guest. like.. a friend?? or a date??

A DATE!?????

keith ejects the idea out of his brain and throws it out the fucking window! he didn’t say date! he said guest!

but.. it is a party. and don’t people usually bring dates to parties???

wait, how would he even get there!? and how many people are going to be there?? what does he even wear!? it’s springtime but is everyone going to be in their bathing suits or bbq attire??

and what about matt’s offer to meet his family?? his sister? keith can’t blow that off. he’d feel too bad. but maybe he can do both! he can quick swing by lance’s party for a few hours and then ask shiro to pick him up and go and meet matt’s family and sister.

yeah! he can do that. but what does he wear????

fuck!

and of course keith is replying before his brain has a chance to finish exploding.

To: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

Sure! Do you think you pick me up in about an hour?

sent 12:42 PM

From: Guardian Angel Lance 💙

hell yes dude!! send me your address and i’ll be there!

received 12:42 PM

and keith does just that..

he types in his address to his apartment and actually sends it to lance.

he’s going to a bbq party thingy with lance.

lance, this stranger he literally just met a little over 24 hours ago.

to a second location. all alone in his car. with him.

to a party with tons of people.

with lance!

what the fuck could possibly go wrong..?

to be continued.

part 2

[viennakarma]

No but rae

One of the dobermans being named 'tiny' and being the tallest one

Nando having his own Doberman named, idk, 'devil' who is an absolute sweetheart but don't touch mrs alonso or you're dead meat

In my head Lance would be so scared at first and then

Then he meets mrs alonso

And she baked him cookies or something thst was his favorite

He thinks he's in love (or was it just a crush, but he CANT have a crush on his mentor or his mentor's wife!!)

WAJT WAIT 🛑🛑🛑✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽

yes to all about the dobermans!! the doggos being affectionate to lance and nando is like 🤨🥹

mrs alonso being a sweetheart to lance and then something bad happens and he finds out she’s actually just as deadly as nando and he gets shamelessly turned on and nando is like smirking the whole time noticing lance all flustered etc

meanwhile nando is aware of EVERYTHING and he just lets it happen waiting for the right moment he and wife can act on their desires (teehee)

PREV

[ssriuser]

long list of celebs who are currently or have a history of supporting israel if u see someone not on this list please add to it in the comments or tags!!

amy schumer, sacha baron cohen, selena gomez, gal gadot, fran drescher, pharrell williams, jamie lee curtis, sarah silverman, gerard butler, ashton kutcher, katharine mcphee, arnold schwarzenegger, mayim bialik, michael rapaport, floyd mayweather, seal, debra messing, josh gad, noah schnapp, jerry seinfeld, timothee chalamet, madonna, chris rock, bella thorne, adam sandler, eugene levy, james corden, courteney cox, billy porter, barbra streisand, pamela anderson jack black, isla fisher, jason sudeikis, justin timberlake, jessica biel, jon hamm, judd apatow, annabelle dexter-jones, ben stiller, chelsea handler, mandy moore, eli roth, karlie kloss, chloe fineman, natalie portman, helen mirren, michael douglas, josh peck, jason alexander, lance bass, jim gaffigan, kris jenner, florence pugh, liev schreiber, ashley tisdale, reese witherspoon, justin bieber, mila kunis, sofia richie, nina dobrev, paris jackson, rita ora, katy perry, lindsay lohan, dwayne johnson, chris pine, andy garcia, nikki glaser, zachary levi, george lopez, howie mandel, quentin tarantino, nicholas sparks, kathy griffin, heather locklear, sarah michelle gellar, andy cohen, bono, max greenfield, jennifer love hewitt, busy philipps, alison brie, sara bareilles, sarah paulson, brooklyn beckham, jk rowling, patton oswalt, lebron james, jon voight, ellen degeneres, kim karshian, khloe kardashian, demi lovato, slyvester stallone, jessie j, addison rae, jon bon jovi, sharon osbourne, neil patrick harris

[lightningmickqueen]

formula 1 drivers as karaoke songs

yuki tsunoda: don’t go breaking my heart except he’s doing both parts because pierre didn’t want to stand up

alex albon: a thousand miles

george russell: i’m gonna be (500 miles) because idk if you guys know this but george russell is british (gasp!)

fernando alonso: fernando by abba but specifically this one edm version of it i’ve been obsessed with for the last 2 years. if the karaoke place doesn’t have it he will provide his own backing

lewis hamilton: total eclipse of the heart. he’s also actively turning around every time he sings “turn around” but it works because he is sir lewis hamilton 

esteban ocon: my heart will go on by celine dion. he sings it staring at pierre 

pierre gasly: bad blood by taylor swift. he is slut dropping and glaring at esteban who is staring smugly back 

max verstappen: good time by owl city and carly rae jepsen because he wants to get it over with so he chooses a song that’s not TOO awful but is bland enough that by the time it’s over people forgot he sang at all 

charles leclerc: i want it that way. he loves it. i bet he listens to this song constantly. during race weekends you’ll hear a quiet “NOW NUMBER FIVE” coming from his drivers room. he chooses the song during karaoke so he can scream it

lance stroll: don’t stop believing. this man thinks he is finn hudson and also i think he’s fully powered by the belief of one man (lawrence)

carlos sainz: hair by little mix. he’s got a choreographed dance too but dw it’s SUPER no homo he just thinks his hair is amazing and interprets the song as supporting that

lando norris: angels by robbie williams. everyone begs him not to but by the time he’s feeling weak and his pain walks down a one way street everybody is feeling it and groovy and loving angels instead ❤️  

nico hülkenberg: sweet caroline. this man has no personality other than being tall and german and he wants to make sure you know that

zhou guanyu: turn the beat around. he can hit those notes and he looks good doing it prove me wrong.

sergio perez: before he cheats by carrie underwood because he very emphatically wants people to know he did NOT cheat on his wife because clearly she didn’t do any of these things so it didn’t happen! also a banger

kevin magnussen: hit me with your best shot (kmag edition) aka he takes it so personally anyway it’s the best performance of the night 

logan sargeant: jolene. idk anything about this man but i believe in my heart he would belt out dolly 

valtteri bottas: love shack by the b-52s. he also listens to this song unironically on his own

honorary grid members (third drivers and recent pensioners):

daniel ricciardo: wannabe by the spice girls. it’s the only song he has memorized and he knows all the parts. he’s going for that second red bull seat he’s got incentive and he’s gotta get with christian’s friends (wife)

mick schumacher: fuck you by lily allen because he’s got so much rage but he’s still so polite! 

sebastian vettel: hey jude and it’s not even the single version it’s the full 7 minute 11 second one but no one minds because 1) it’s seb 2) it means they don’t have to listen to latifi sing 

nicholas latifi: absolutely anything by britney but it’s always a car crash (ha) so it’s queued at the end and there’s just not enough time to get to it so the world lives to see another day

romain grosjean: i will survive

[nico-di-genova]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/ paste this ask to your favorite mutuals 💌🖤 ily!!!!!

It Girl - Aliyah’s Interlude

It Boy - bbno$

Hypnotic Data - Odetari

The Von Dutch Remix with Addison Rae and A.G. Cook

Vroom, Vroom - Charli xcx

This Lance playlist really gets me through the day tbh.

[piratewithvigor]

WRESTLING VIDEOS MASTERLIST (AEW)

SINGLE WRESTLERS

Bryan Danielson - Monty Python's Life Of Bryan

Chris Jericho - The 13 Stages Of Grief With Y2J

CM Punk - ATOMIC CM PUNK

Danhausen - Danhausen In Exactly As Much Context As He Requires

Danhausen - Feed My Evilhausen

“Hangman” Adam Page -  Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

"Hangman" Adam Page - Country Girl 🤠

"Hangman" Adam Page - La Folie Temporaire

Jack Perry - Jungle Boy - I Wanna Be Evil

Jon Moxley - Livewire

Marko Stunt - The Very Best

Marq Lynch - Hurt

MJF - Everybody Loves Me ;3

MJF - blah blah blah...

MJF - The Biggest Balls Of Them All

MJF - Long Island V Connecticut

MJF - MJF Being Completely Insufferable Part 1: Jul-Nov 2019

MJF - MJF Being Completely Insufferable Part 2: Nov 2019-Jan 2020

MJF - MJF Being Completely Insufferable Part 3: Jan-March 2020

MJF - MJF Being Completely Insufferable Part 4: April - August 2020

MJF - S&M(JF)

Nick Jackson - Magic Girl

Orange Cassidy -  BASIC 🍊🕶️NOMICS

Pac - If Weird Al Did Pac's Theme

Sting - What Goes On In Surfer Sting's Head

Wheeler Yuta - Yu Make My Dreams Come True 💕

William Regal - Sharp Dressed Man’s Man

William Regal - Ra Ra Regal

William Regal - What A Lucky Man (He Was)

GANGS/MORE THAN ONE

Gunn Club Assboys - Billy Ass And The Assboys

Blackpool Combat Club - BCC Golden Girls

Dustin Rhodes VS Willie Mack - Kissin Willie

Eddie Kingston & CM Punk - WRESTLING SILENT FILMS: Was The Truth Too Much For CM Punk To Handle When Kingston Put Him On Blast?

The Elite - When I See You Dance With Another

The Elite - Best 15 Seconds Of Each BTE (1-23)

The Elite - Runnin On Empty

The Elite - What If Carly Rae Jepsen Sang Like 4 Middle Aged Men Having A Sexually Charged Karaoke Battle On A Japanese Train?

"Hangman" Adam Page VS Lance Archer - Blood In The Texas Death Match

The Hardys - The Hardy Show: Rednecks On The Loose

House Of Black - Du Rieschst So Gut~

Jurassic Express - KINGS OF THE JUNGLE

Jurassic Express - Happier Days

Pinnacle & Inner Circle - Pinnacle VS. Inner Circle: Ballroom Fucking Blitz

The Hardys VS Private Party - Poor Bones

Young Bucks VS Lucha Bros - The Match, But As Clowns

AEW Moments That Have Probably Changed Me As A Person

Ranking Hey!(EW) Guests Based On How Angry They Get Being There

Once In A Lifetime: An AEW Retrospective

Oh, You Missed The First 3 Years Of AEW? Let Me Catch You Up Real Quick

SHIPS

Hookhausen (Hook X Danhausen) - curses~

William Regal X Tony Schiavone - Out Of Touch Thursday

Hangmox (Hangman X Mox) - ⛓️HANGMOX: THE CHAIN⛓️

AdaMJF (Adam Cole X MJF) - You're My Best Friend

Chuck Taylor X Orange Cassidy - I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire

AEW OPENINGS REDONE

What if Dynamite was 2004 Raw?

What if Collision was 2009 Hockey Night In Canada?