#last time i went off the pill i ended up being able to feel the full moon

[trans-cuchulainn]

i wonder if i'll start being able to sense the full moon again now

[7ndipity]

On your period

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi looks after you on your period

Warnings: mentions of menstrual cycles, reader feeling sick, not proofread

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I based it off my own experiences, so I'm sorry if it doesn't quite work for everyone. It's not the best, but I hope you like it anyway!

Masterlist

Requests are open

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As soon as he walked into your apartment and saw the duvet from the bed in a giant y/n-shaped ball on the sofa in front of the tv, he knew what was up.

Moving quietly, in case you were asleep, he crept over, smiling when he was finally able to spot your face barely peeking out of the nest of blankets, tiredly returning his grin as he came into your line of vision.

"Hi." You croaked, voice horse from lack of use.

"Hi." He replied, leaning down and touching your cheek gently, both as a greeting and to check your temperature, knowing you sometimes ran a low fever on days like this.

"When's the last time you took any meds?"

"About noon."

Without a word, he made his way to the kitchen, returning in less than a minute with a couple pills and a bottle of water, helping you untangle from the blankets before joining you on the couch and passing you the items, which you accepted gratefully.

"Why didn't you text me earlier that you weren't feeling well?" He asked.

"Didn't wanna bother you." You mumbled.

"You're not a bother." He said, frowning as he noticed you wince uncomfortably.

It was only the first day, but that was usually when your symptoms would hit the hardest. Cramps, chills, body aches, it honestly felt like you had the flu, your only comfort was knowing that things would start to level out in a few more hours.

Well, maybe not your only comfort.

"What can I do?" Yoongi asked, quietly insistent. He hated seeing you hurting and not being able to do anything about it.

"I'll be okay, don't worry." You tried to reassure him.

"That's not what I asked." He said, giving you pointed look.

You swallowed nervously, feeling shy for some reason. "Could you maybe hold me?" You asked hesitantly.

Wordlessly once again, he climbed into your makeshift nest, shifting you both around until you were draped across his lap with your head pressed to his chest.

It still felt strangely foreign to have someone look after you like this, with such gentle, determined devotion, but you were starting to get used to it. In the past, you'd just dealt on your own, not wanting to be a burden to those around you. But as soon as you met Yoongi, all that went out the door. Anytime you felt the least bit unwell, he was at your beck and call. If you needed anything at all, be it food, meds, or just a bed warmer/nap partner, he was there for you.

You still remembered his genuine offense at your first attempts to dissuade him from coming to look after you.

"Why? It's not contagious."

"No, but-"

"Then why are you rejecting my love?!"

He'd promptly come over, armed with your favorite foods, candy and heat packs. You'd been so overwhelmed and emotional, you ended up crying and telling him you loved him for the first time that night.

Now, all these months later, he was still looking after you the same as he had then.

"You want me to stay over?" He asked after a minute.

"You don't have to do that." You sighed, already start doze against his shoulder.

"But I want to. Besides, I know you sleep better with me here." He teased.

"If you keep this up, I gonna turn into a spoiled baby." You warned.

"Will you just let me take care you, dammit." How he managed to make that sound stern and soft at the same time was a skill only Yoongi could master, making you grin.

"Fine." You relented, snuggling closer to him and pressing a small kiss to underside of his jaw. "I love you."

"I love you too, spoiled baby."

"Hey!"

[chrissy-kaos]

Went out with this gem today. I had to hit up my favorite burrito spot before my surgery tomorrow morning. I won’t be able to eat solid food for a long time. So I wanted something good for my last meal.

**Little life update**

Some of you are probably like wtf surgery? What many of you probably don’t know is I’m sick. The really bad kind of sick. The sick you don’t come back from. I’ve made a few post about it in the past. I don’t really want to get into it right now tbh. My Doctors and I are doing everything we can to get me moderately healthy again but in all honesty it’s not going well. Initially it was but now it is not. 

We’ve encountered some serious complications and they need to be addressed asap. We found these out at the end of November during a MRI of my kidneys. I was very lucky a specialist was able to notice the anomalies in my scan. When I was told if I’m being honest it was a hard pill to swallow. Those of you that seen that post know how it went. All the work we had done before this was basically for nothing.

We’re hoping that this surgery will alleviate some of my current health issues. This could be the cause of some of them. It’s going to be a long process and multiple treatments/surgeries and recovery this year. But I’m hopeful that everything will work out ok.

So with all that said I probably won’t be posting much for the next few weeks. I’ll probably do a before surgery post and one after. But that’s probably it for a little while. I gotta focus on my health because it’s rapidly deteriorating.

In the event that something wild happens I just want to say I love all of you and thank you for everything. This platform has given me the courage and confidence to be myself. That’s all because of each and every one of you. The stories I get in my DMs inspire me to be the best I can be for you. I know a lot of people look up to me.. that’s still wild tbh. To be a role model for someone is the greatest honor and feeling ever. Nothing compares. So thank you.

I’m going to leave my blog up. If a trans person stumbles across it. Hopefully it will inspire them to be themselves unapologetically. Know it’s never too late to be your true identity. Follow your dreams and know you’re loved. Enjoy life because it’s precious. Share your story. Inspire others and LIVE FOR YOU. The world is much better off with you here. I promise you.

[slickchickchocolatier]

ↀOUBLE IIROUBLE - CHAPTER SEVEN

Series Masterlist

Here you guys go <3

Warnings: smut...lots of smut...this chapter is a little long, but there's also threats, abuse of authority, abuse of power, abuse of authority in relationship, .....reader...(in case you weren't able to tell in last chapter) has a breeding kink...so do the step brothers....i had to quickly type this as i was packing. for our family trip. so this. is not proofread at all....sorry.

"Fuck baby, you're so wet....."

"Pl-please......please I-I cant....ugh...."

Thrusting, pelting against your taint, he continuously shoves his thick and lengthy member in and out at a vigorous speed, going deeper....deeper.....and even deeper.

"Ugh! ugh! ugh! ugh! He-Heeseung! Pl-please! Oh my God!"

Digging his fingers into you, his hands plastering to your skin, he lifts, pulls, and tugs you up and down, all in a lively speed. His hips add to the momentum as he thrusts his hips, forward, back, forward, and back. Over and over again, leaving you no room to gain rest from the loss of breath. Gasping out as you relieved your moans out into the open air, he fucks you, all into an oblivion state and cum's inside, coating your walls...

".....How.....could I....my own....step brother?"

!!!!!!!!!

Releasing a shocking cry, you jolt up from your bed, grabbing hold onto the satin sheets that cradle your nude frame. Faintly sweating, you find yourself waking to the intense dream that correlated with the events that took place hours earlier....when Heeseung had confessed his love for you....all the while he fucked and released endlessly inside you.

"I can't believe I did that earlier...."

Hanging your head low, you succumb to the abysmal feeling of defeat as you drenched your soul into the epitome of shame. Not to mention, Kurt had been texting you ever since he dropped you off from the wedding last night. Looking at the clock, the time reflected the early morning of three a.m., merely just five or six hours after the session you permitted to happen. Despite the hours that went by, the stretch of your womanhood and the soreness that lingered, the smell of Heeseung's cum as it settled inside the deepest crevice of your walls, slowly seeping out as you laid sleeping, and the purple coloration of his oral assault on your skin, all of which had become tender to the touch, all became a reminder of your everlasting shame. Everything about your current state was a reminder of what had transpired.

Exhausted from the harsh pelts of his performance, the last thing you could recall was surrendering to the high of your climax as you started to drift while remaining in his arms. He held onto you, lifted you and carried you over to the bed, where he plastered his sweet....his poisonous and sweet kisses all over your body as he laid beside you, nestling his member inside your cavity while you both drifted off entirely.

Yet now, you find yourself in bed alone.

"Did he get up and go to his own room?.......I.....I dont know whats happening or what to do.....how are things going to be?....I just not only let my step brother fuck me.....but I let him...."

Scattering around, you reach over to the end table and took a peek inside the compact containment of assorted pills, noting that you had already been on a steady form of birth control for 72 hours.

"That....should be fine.....I should be fine....besides....if.....if I do end up getting pregnant.....I could just....go back to the clinic...."

You found yourself feeling even lower than ever once you had finished your mental thought. You didn't have a preference for the matters in regards to abortion, quite frankly, you were always supportive of the woman making her own decisions when it came to her body....yet for you personally, you had always thought about being a mother...some day. But not like this. Yet....the thought of possibly creating something beautiful, only to be placed in a situation where you were forced to lose it, all to ensure the family's reputation...and yours, wouldn't be hindered or tarnished by this event.

"God....what was Heeseung thinking?....What was I....how could we both let that...happen?"

Prior to what happened five hours ago, your last sexual encounter was just a little over four years ago, how could you display such maturity and abstinence during college, yet loose yourself the moment you find yourself confronted by.....your step brother.

Laying back down, you admired the compact in your hand.

"God I hope that I wont get pregnant just because of one stupid mistake......please....please dont let that happen....I can't bear the thought of being placed in a position to make a choice like that.....especially since.....having a baby......"

Finding it best to sleep it out, you placed the compact back in your drawer, and nuzzled your nude body into the covers. Once more, you begin to drift off, your mind finding solitude and comfort in not being conscious and thinking....that was the best medicine....for now.

............................

You woke up once more, only this time you found yourself to have overslept as you note the time was a little past eleven a.m. With your body feeling regenerated from the exhaustion you experienced last night, you quickly made your way into the shower and washed yourself thoroughly. Before turning the water on, the scent of Heeseung's essence, along with your own natural made lubricant punched your nostrils.

"My God.....does it have to smell so bitter and sweet? I need to get rid of this smell its....its too much....."

Indeed it was too much. It was too much of a reminder of your shame and grave mistake. What on earth would your mother have thought had she heard about what you permitted to happen? What would she say? What would she do?

What she or Danny don't know, wont hurt them. Its not like you to keep secrets from your mother, your best friend, yet on an occasion such as this, you rather take this dark sin of yours to the grave.

Submerging yourself into the water droplets, allowing the warm temperature to soothe your skin and cleanse you, you massaged the bathing oils into the regions of your skin, faintly hissing in pain as you smooth your fingers over the areas where he marked you with both his teeth and tongue.

Finishing up, you dried yourself off and got dressed, breaching the despaired moment when you found yourself stepping out of your room. Looking both ways you ensured that the area was cleared before proceeding down the stairs. Once more, you remained quiet and every so cautions as you made your way down, hoping that the two step brothers were either still asleep in their own rooms, which would allow you to escape out of the house undetected, or if they were out running errands, that would be even more fortuitous since it would buy you more time to pack and get out.

Creeping down each step, you found the entire first floor of the house to be quiet and empty.

Walking over to the door that led to the garage, you peeked in and found that their car was gone, signaling you to realize that they were gone.

"Yes! Thank God."

Opening the fridge, you grabbed a bottle water as you mentally walked through the systematic process of gathering your things, reaching out to Wendy, and starting the process of moving out.

...............

"Oh hey, you're awake."

The deep voice stunned you from behind as your body froze solid in place.

"Oh no......God no....why....?"

Turning around slowly, your eyes met with Heejeong's as he stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the entryway.

"Did you sleep well? I noticed you got back kind of late.....from uh...whats his name again? Kurt?" He tilts his head and sends of a sly smirk as he walks in your direction.

Reaching past your frame, he opens the fridge and grabs a bottle water for himself, leaning in as he slightly cradles your back against refrigerator door. Remaining within a hand's distance away from you, all the while keeping you backed up against the aluminum appliance, he takes the cap off the bottle, proceeds to drink the entire thing as his eyes peer down at you....locked on you.

Looking away for a moment, you turned back only to find that his eyes remained on you.....drifting up and down as he took in the full sight of your body, from head to toe.

".....What are you doing?" You asked softly, your breath shaky as you took notice of his minor steps forward, closing the distance between you two.

"Nothing.....what are you doing.......baby......sis?"

Your eyes widened and your brows raised up as you took note of his tone and the way he issued his words.

"Oh no....."

"......I have to go....um....I think it's best if I move out....I just..." You shift your eyes off to the side, noting how he raised his hand and plastered his palm on the fridge door behind you, his arm gently touching your cheek as he traps you in.

"Hmm?.....Move....out?.......Why would you go through the trouble in doing that?......" he calmly antagonizes. Tossing the empty water bottle off to the side, he reaches up and while remaining leaned into the arm that hovered next to your face, he caresses your cheek and moves a piece of your hair away from your face.

"....I just....I dont think it's going to work out...if I stay....." you tried to steady yourself as you spoke out. Your breath hitched the moment you felt him pull the water bottle from your grasp, while still making direct eye contact with you. Gently taking the bottle from you, he tosses it aside where it meets with the empty bottle thrown previously.

".....He-Heejeong....w....what are you doing?"

Leaning in, he nuzzles his face against your ear. Sticking out his tongue, he taps and flickers the muscle on the soft spot just right below your ear. "You tell me......what are you doing?......Walking around looking pretty all the damn time......getting a boyfriend and flaring him in front of us....." he softly whispers.

"....Why...why are you doing this? Why....why are you and .....why are you both?...." you felt yourself losing breath as the sensation of his tongue wildly pecking against your skin starts to drag in a prolonged motion, beginning with the lobe and down to your neck.

"Hmm?......what do you mean? How could you ask us a question like that?......Isn't it natural for us to love......you.......baby........sister...."

"St-stop saying that....please do-dont...."

Straightening his posture, he steps in and presses the buckle of his belt against you. The weather was quite warm, and eighty two degrees today, so you opted to wear a ribbed, low fitted crop top, and a matching skirt. Only display a moderate sense of skin exposure on your waistline, you still felt the despair and regret of wearing something that wasn't at all lascivious, yet it didn't help your cause. If anything, it formed your body magnificently and hugged every bit of your curves, while displaying just a subtle bit of sexiness from the minor skin exposure and the amount of leg you were showing off.

Reaching up, he begins to unbutton the ribbed top, exposing your breasts. Being that the weather was supposed to be reach up to the low eighties, you were careless to opt out on wearing a bra. Why did you have to let your guard down? Being overly presumptuous in thinking that the boys would be out of the house or sleeping, you dug your own grave as you realized that you were too premature with your complacent attitude and allowed yourself to be in the current situation at hand. Seeing you like this, dressed up looking fiercely beautiful and sexy...it was like dangling raw meat in front of a hungry wolf.

Once he had each button come loose, he reaches into the open flap of your blouse and relished in the sensation of your soft breast. His hands were just like Heeseung's, rough and decorated with dried up callouses that scratched your soft skin, causing you to wince in minor discomfort each time they roamed the regions of your feminine curves.

"He-Heejeong please......don't.......dont." you begin shaking your head as you displayed a look of worry and weakness. His touch, much like his brother's, was addicting, rough and yet soothed by the coating of his tongue and his tender kisses. "Please.......please dont......I-I'm begging.....i'm begging you...."

"Yeah?.....Beg some more baby......" He calmly issues while his mouth found refuge on the inner nook of your neck, and remained securely latched on as if he were a leech. The squeak of the suckling sound as he sucks in parts of your skin, flickering his tongue in circular motions all the while his hands massaged your mounds, flickering your nipples with his thumb, all very similar as Heeseung had done...

Pressing his body against yours, you felt the softness of his white t-shirt coil against the bare nudeness of your chest as the flap of your blouse was drifting apart, sliding down your shoulders. His buckle pinches against your pelvic bone, all the while his ripped up jeans coats your bare legs.

Releasing the little bit of skin he had been sucking on, he pulls his head back and admires the craftiness of his brother's work....

"Huh.....Heeseung was a little hungry last night, hmm?"

Widening your eyes, you gasped and pulled yourself back, which resulted in you plastering your entire rear end, shoulders, and head up against the appliance.

".......Y-you.....you knew?" you looked at him with furrowed brows.

"Well I know now....." reaching up, he flicks his fingers and gently taps against the soft purple mark of Heeseung's territory. Smirking, he scoffs out a gentle but deep chuckle. "Bet he didn't go easy on you, did he?"

You felt yourself becoming hopeless all over again. You wanted to fight him off, just like you wanted to fight Heeseung away....yet there was something about each brother.....their touch, their kisses, their manner of coating you with their saliva. It was so.....

"I love you......you know that, right?" He leans in, gently resting his forehead against yours.

"W....what are you....?.....What are you saying?" you stuttered out, yet the last bit died down as you felt him reach up with his free hand and snake its way under your skirt. His other hand remained plastered onto the stainless steel door, supporting his weight as he leans forward, pressing his body completely against your own.

Your breasts squeezed in, his hard chest latches on. You could feel his heart beat agains the plate in between your breasts.

It was wild, for your other step brother, the one who adorned a punk rocker appearance, had just confessed his love for you much like Heeseung had done in the middle of the night.

"D-dont.....please....please I'll........I'll do whatever you want i just....i can't...its not fair to.....its just not...."

"Fair to boyfriend?.....hmm?" raising a brow, Heejeong calmly teases out his words, smirking as he grew wide eyed. ".......You dont need to worry about that....."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Where do you think Heeseung went to this morning? He's obviously not happy with someone else staking their claim on something that belongs to him.....and me."

Your eyes widened in fear. "Heeseung....is going to see Kurt?....Why?....What is he going to do?.....please....please tell him to come back."

Placing your hands and gripping on to his shirt, you dug your fingers on to Heejeong's chest as he remained inches away from you. Looking down at your delicate hands, he reaches for them, holding them delicately into his own palms and raises them to his mouth, where he placed the most tender and soft kisses....to include the massaging of his tongue.

"Please! Please! I'm asking you! Please call Heeseung!" you started to sob. "It wasn't Kurt's fault! He's a nice guy, please dont do anything. He's not one to fight."

Lifting his eyes up at you, he smirks out yet again, although this time there was something deeply sinister about its meaning.

"Oh trust us....we know....that's why its not going to be too much of a bother to get rid of him..."

You felt as if your heart stopped beating. You didn't know how to take the information, yet you were still relentless to fight for Kurt's safety. Should anything happen to him, you would have never forgiven yourself, for it was your idea to invite him to the wedding. How could you possibly move on knowing that Heeseung may do something reckless such as issuing verbal threats or worse...what if he gets physical and initiates assault. The thought of seeing Kurt black and blue was already breaking your heart, and it showed.

Leaning your head against his chest, still grabbing on and furthering the digging of your fingers into his chest, you whimpered as you felt the tears stream down your face.

"Please......please....I'll do anything...I wont....I wont see him again. I wont do anything. Please.....please just call Heeseung...please.......for me.....will you please do it for me?" you begged.

Hearing the deep and low sigh, Heejeong reaches for his phone in his back pocket. "Alright....I'll call him." Lifting your chin up, he issues a deep and passionate kiss, migrating his tongue to explore the entire inside of your oral cavity. "I certainly have a soft spot for you, don't I?" he smirks as he places the phone on speaker, dialing Heeseung in.

Your felt the weight of your chest lifted when Heeseung finally answered the phone.

"Hey, whats up?"

Heejeong, while eyeballing you and maintaining that cruel smirk on his face, leans his face at a tilt and speaks into the phone, never once breaking his sight off you.

"Hey.....got baby girl in front of me. Did you wanna say 'Hi'?"

"Hiiiii baby giiiiiirll! How's my little minx today? Did you sleep well?"

"Oh she slept well......and she's looking reeeeeeeally pretty for us today...."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeeeeeeeah...." Heejeong's voice croaks into a low growl as he communicates with his brother. You shook and hung your head low in defeat as you felt your fingers dragging down along the ripples of his chest muscles.

"Baby girl...say hi to Heeseung."

Leaning your forehead against his chest, you continued to sob.

Lifting your chin ever so delicately, Heejeong squares your face with his own and places another kiss onto your lips before breaking and whispering once more. "Say hi....." nudging his nose against yours, he motions you to speak into phone.

"H-hey.....Heeseung...."

"Hey baby......I miss you. You miss me?"

Wincing upon hearing his words, you stuttered out your response, displaying an amicable tone in order to appease the situation. "Y-yeah....I do."

"Mmm that's good." he chuckles as he speaks into the phone.

"So baby girl has something she wants to ask you..." Heejeong softly groans out as he plays with your hair.

"Oh yeah? Well what is it baby girl? Tell me....tell Heeeeeeseung what's on our mind?"

Heejeong places the phone closer to your face. Placing his lips on your forehead, he taps in a kiss, remaining glued to your skin as he inhales the scent of your hair.

"H-Heeseung....Heeseung please....please don't do anything....to Kurt. Please........"

A moment of silent stills the air, when finally he responded.

"Hmm....no can do baby. Already close to old boy's place, and I don't like anyone getting close to what's mine."

"We both don't...." Heejeong whispers out, adding onto Heeseung's point.

Panicking, you appealed to Heeseung once more. "Heeseung please....please....I......I miss you.....I miss you so much." you whimpered and sobbed out, clearly evident that you were forcing the words yet you still managed to speak them in a soft tone.

"Oh yeah?"

"Y-yes.....I do.......I miss you....and......I.....I want you here.....I want you to come home.....come back home...to me....please?"

Another flare of silence accompanied by the static of the moving car on Heeseung's end, caused you to slightly worry, yet the moment he finally responded, you felt a breath of relief escape your lips.

"You want me back home?...You miss me that much?" he asks.

"Y-yes....I miss you.....and........I just want you back home.....so please......if you leave......leave Kurt alone I wont....I wont speak to him or ....or see him.....and.....i'll.......be good......I promise i'll be good......please.....for me?" you trembled, hoping that you had him.

"Hmm......what do you think, Joey?"

Heejeong, smiling as he continued to play with your hair as he placed one of your fingers inside his mouth, gently nibbling and sucking on it the entire conversation, releases with a harsh suck on your index finger as he relays his answer to Heeseung.

"Well.....baby girl says she's sorry.....given its her first offense and the fact we didn't go over rules yet, I think we can let things go just this time....." leaning in, Heejeong kisses your ear as he beckons you to apologize. "Say sorry baby girl.....tell us how sorry you are." sticking his tongue inside your ear, he latches his hand on the back of your head to keep you steady as he feeds the wet muscle in and sucks on your helix.

"I-I'm sorry....I'm sorry........so......so sorry....mmmmm..." you whimpered out as you felt Heejeong mashing your breast in his grasp.

"Well.......just this once. But we gonna have a talk when I get back and go over some ground rules, you got that? Babygirl?"

"Y-yes......yes...." you whimpered out.

"Alright, I'm turning back around and I'll see you guys soon." hearing the clicking of the turn signal, you felt compelled to gain closure from Heeseung....

"Please...you promise....you promise you didn't do anything.....Heeseung?......You promise to leave him alone?" you whimpered out.

"I promise darling. I'll let Heejeong prove it to you, mmkay?"

"o-okay...."

"I love you."

You became hesitant yet you knew that you would quickly lose the gained trust and feared he would turn back around, to finish what he had initially started.

"......I......love you too......"

Releasing a long gasping sigh, you could hear the smirk that formulated on his lips. "Yeah you fucking do." chuckling, he bids you. and Heejeong farewell and hangs up.

Heejeong remained latched on to your neck, adding more to the wide array of coloration to your skin complexion.

"Please....please.....can you show me.....that Kurt is fine?......before.....before we........move on?"

Peering his head up, he looks at you with an expectant raise in his brow, as if he almost seemed to question your audacity for inquiring the well being of another man. Yet you were quick to save yourself as you calmly spoke out, "Its just......just.....just so we can tell him......that I will no longer be seeing him......together......since....I belong to .....to you......and Heeseung....." you looked down and faked a faint smile, though the saddened despair of imprisonment was evident in its presence.

"Ooooh I see....well why didnt you say so. Yeah....here." taking his phone, he dials Kurts number.

"How....how did you get his.....his-"

"His number?" Heejeong smirks before whispering against your lips. "Its a secret....." kissing you once more, he places the phone back on speaker.

"Hello?"

Motioning for you to answer, Heejeong raises a brow at you as he hands you his phone.

"Um...Kurt?"

"Y/n? Did you get a new phone?"

"N-no....."

"What the heck happened? I've been calling and texting ever since I dropped you off last night, you hadn't returned a single one of my calls or messages, I was getting so worried. I was just about to head over to come see you."

Panicking as you noted Heejeong biting down on his tongue, you quickly jolted out your words.

"Um...no! No dont....dont come over here...I.....I actually called because.....I....dont think it's going to work out between us.....I....I just have so much going on and I'm sorry......I didnt know how to break it to you so I....I was....ignoring you." you stuttered out, the tears forming in your eyes for how cruel you were being towards someone as nice as Kurt, all the while Heejeong stood and tilted his head, slightly nodding with approval as he winks at you and smiles.

"Y/n what?? What are you saying? What's going on? This isn't like you....and...are you crying? What's going on tell me, I can help yo-"

"I dont need your help just please dont ever call, message, or come see me. Please just listen and understand....its just easier. I"m sorry....I have to go. Please dont contact or come see me." You quickly hung up and shifted your sights to the ground, placing your hand over your mouth as you began to whimper out your sobs. You hated that you had to be so short with him.

"I'm sorry Kurt....please....please understand that I have no choice...if I don't......I might get you into some trouble..."

Knowing how athletic and rigorous rugby and basketball are, there was no doubt in your mind that Heeseung and Heejeong would think twice about initiating a fight with Kurt. What would happen if one of them were to seriously get hurt?

................If only you knew what they really were capable of doing......

"Good girl......so good....." kissing you and stroking your breast, while his other hand reaches in and slips his fingers inside your panties, he rubs your clit up and down.

Gasping into his mouth, you found yourself growing weak in the knees once more, recognizing the familiar sensation from last night with Heeseung.

Tapping the back of your thigh, he speaks into the kiss but never breaks the contact between your lips. "Jump..."

Abiding by his bidding, you wrap your arms around his neck and commenced a small jump, where he caught your thighs in a loop hold and sustained your weight against his frame. His staggering height had caused you to become somewhat uneasy as you felt him migrate from the kitchen and onto the sofa in the living room.

Laying you on your back, he immediately ravished your exposed breasts with a myriad of kisses and suckles on your nipples, all the while he raises your skirt and coils it around your waist.

"Fuck baby.....you're so fucking perfect....aren't you?"

Shaking your head as you felt yourself breaching that moment where you would admit defeat and succumb to his physical acts of tenderness, you remained facing away, trying to let go of that shameful sense you had in your gut since this morning.

"Yes you aaaaaaaare...." he chuckles out as he trails his kisses down to your stomach, kissing around your belly button.

"Please....please.....Heejeong........I....I dont know.....this is just.....we're family.....I cant....I just cant...."

"You're right...we are family..." he responds. "You're our baby girl......our one and only."

Gasping out in shock, you trembled as he hooks his fingers onto your panties, and slides them down.

"Wha-what?......"

"You belong to us......you're our beautiful girl.....the one and only one for us."

Shifting your body as you tried to abstain from him pulling your panties all the way off, he smirks slyly as he presses his lips against your cheek and nearly rips the material off your legs and through your ankles.

In a harsh manner, he spreads your legs open and admits a small slap of each hand on the meaty portion of your inner thighs, spreading them apart.

"Stay...." he calmly speaks against your skin as he begins to trail his kisses downward, re-initiating his path of saliva once more. Once he reached your belly button, he expedited his traveling and nuzzled his face in between your folds, rubbing his nose against your clit.

"Heejeong! mmmm! St-stop!"

"Mm-mm.....lay back down baby." he softly speaks as his lips remained in contact with your slit. The sensation of his words spoken onto the softest part of your sensitive region caused your eyes to roll in the back of your head. Arching your back, you gasped out towards the ceiling as you felt the hot vapors of his breath accompany his words, all coating your clit.

"Mmm!!!....Ooooooh.....oh my God......oh my God...please....mmmmplease...ugh!"

"Talk to me baby." once more, he speaks while his lips remained latched onto your slit, the feeling repeats the motions of your eyes rolling, your back deeply arching, and your hips waving up and down, which he took great delight in riding along with the tip of his tongue.

With a closed mouth smirk, he scoffs against your opening, which only enhanced that tingling numbness you had felt earlier with Heeseung. That shameful feeling.....had quickly disappeared.

"Mmm.....uuuuuuuugh!"

"Yeah baby.....thats it....move with me." flickering his tongue, he moves it in a variety of motions, left, right, up, down, and in circles, all focusing on the sweet soft spot at the tip of your clit.

"uuuuugh! Oh my God.......ugh!"

"Come on baby.....tell Joey how much you like it...."

"mmmm......uuuugh!"

"Say it." latching his mouth, he fully envelops your clit and parts of your folds into his mouth and sucks harshly as his tongue worked its magical motions on your clit. His warm saliva drenching you, all the while the smoothness of his tongue massaged and his teeth barely grazing against your skin as he smothers the fat surface of his tongue all over your opening. Scoffing on your cavity, he adds a series of smirks and chuckles as he performs, enhancing the stimulation from the vibrating of his tone.

"Mmm!! Oh my God....Joey...Joey...Joey.....mmmm...please...please....ugh! Ugh! Ugh!!"

"yeah, come on baby, tell me what you want."

"...mmmm......ugh!"

"Say it."

"Mmmmm please......I want it......I.....want it...."

"Want what?"

".......you......I want......mmmm....ugh! you! ugh! mmmm....oh my God!" you whimpered out as you peeled your face away and off to the side, biting the tip of your tongue as you felt the tears streaming down your cheeks, all from the painful throbbing and numbness that was taking place in the depths of your core.

He continued to perform his oral fixation on your womanhood, yet each time you felt yourself gyrating, breaching climax, he pulled back and with held you from experiencing release. He was far more toying and cruel in his manner of four play than Heeseung, especially considering he could do it so well....

The way his tongue fucked you, coated you, dressed you with his saliva and massaged you into an ultra state of heightened sensitivity.....it was all too....

"Tell me you want me to fuck you pretty girl......I want to hear you say it."

"mmmmmm ugh....ugh....Heejeong......please....pllllease......."

"Please what baby?" speaking against your clit once more, he pulls his head back and harshly blows at it, before shoving his mouth back on with his nose brushing against the tip of your slit.

Rolling back your eyes once more, you lost your breath as you succumbed to the overwhelming sensation of his oral love. Losing pattern, your breathing escalates to obtain whatever it had lost from when you choked on your own moans.

"Please what baby?" he whispers once more, releasing a long gasp against your clit as his mouth all but latched on. The hot vapor of his breath triggered your hips and thighs to move forward and buck up in a sudden manner, which would have closed the distance and met his mouth, except his hands pinning you down wouldn't allow it.

"Please....ugh! Please....please fuck me....fuck me....Joey.....Joey fuck me...." you whimpered out a series of gasping moans as you truly begged for your elder step brother to do onto you, what his other half did hours earlier.

"Awww....come here baby." Propping himself on his knees, he positions himself in between your wide open thighs and feeds his cock out from his jeans. Much like Heeseung, Heejeong was also blessed with a thick girth, elongated length, and heavy muscle.

Leaning in and hovering over you, his hand remains on the base of his shaft as he places a palm next to your head and closes the distance. His chest presses against yours, and you felt him entering inside. The painful sting of the stretch of his enlarged tip pushing in caused you to hiss and jolt up in pain.

"UGH!!!! Ugh! He-Heejeong...ugh! It.....it hurts......." you started to sob out.

"Yeah....so I've been told.....but dont worry pretty girl.....unlike all the others, I actually care about you....and I intend to make you feel good.......sooooooo fucking good.....I'm going to fuck you nonstop."

Sliding in, Heejeong continues to breach your walls. You felt them separating as they clear a path for his shaft, moving in and pushing the skin further deep within you, inch by inch.

Your thighs tremble, and your hips start to gyrate in a wild motion.

"Hang on baby......almost there.....fuck.....you're so fucking tight......you just so perfect arent you?"

Kissing you, he closes in the remaining gap that was present between your chests, which sealed the deal in his full entry. The base of his groin mashes against yours, while connected skin to skin, he rotates his hips in a circular motion, further dipping into you as if he was drilling his shaft inside.

"Ugh!!! S-stop!! Oh my God what are you doing to me??!" you nearly screamed out, feeling a rush of pain from him bellowing out, yet it was quickly recovered by the immense pleasure and relief of pumping against the throbbing numbness in your gut.

"Shhhhhh......thaaaaaats a gooood girllll....." he growls lowly in your ear. "Ready?"

The familiar sense of gaining your acknowledgement hits you as you take in his wording, all the same as Heeseung issued....

...........................

"You ready for me?"

............................

Nodding in a sense of panic with your brows furrowed, displaying a worrisome and painful expression, you prepared yourself for what was about to come....

"Good."

You realized the moment he moved, that you had misjudged and, once again, found yourself in a presumptuous state as you assumed Heejeong's manner of making love or 'fucking' was similar to that of Heeseung's performance last night.

You couldn't have been any more wrong.....

He didnt start out at a moderate pace, instead, he began to thrust hard...fast...and deep, right from the get-go. Your mouth parts wide open as you felt him fucking your breaths out of you.

"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!!!"

"Yeah baby, fucking make some noise...." he speaks as he kisses into your mouth, holding you by the neck and stroking your skin with his rough thumb.

He had you squelching in no time. Each second that he rammed his thickness into you, you felt the splatter of your juices decorating your inner thighs as he propped his chest to remain hovered, gaining more leverage to dip his groin down and drilling into you deeper....harder...and faster.

With absolutely no room to breathe, let alone murmur out your words, you were left merciless and could only admit the short and pungent gasps of your airy tones of euphoria as he punched your soft spot with his dick.

Gasping, trying to catch your breath, feeling the mesmerizing sensation of his length going in and out of you, he had you nearly climaxing just within seconds.

"Mmm...not yet baby...you gotta hold it......"

Rolling your eyes back, your body succumbs to the weakened state of being fucked brutally by Heejeong.

"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Please! Ugh! Ugh! I-cant!!"

"Yes you can.....come on baby, let me keep fucking you.....you feel so good..."

Snaking his hand underneath the thatch of your thick strands, he cups the back of your head and lifts it, positioning you to watch as he dips his cock in and out of you.

"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Wh-what! Please! What are you doing?!" you stuttered in gasping moans as you plead with him.

"Watch me fuck you baby."

"Ugh! Please.....Oh my God please!" you place your hand on his wrist, trying to plead with him as the feeling was overwhelmingly pleasurable. Watching his thick length melting in and out of you only furthered your rising to orgasm.

As you watched, you noted the thick, creamy white substance formulating at the base of your folds, while decorating a thick ring around his shaft.

"Fuck yeah baby....shit.....why are you so beautiful....and perfect?" noting the substance that was foaming from the friction of fucking you, Heejeong felt himself reaching the zenith of orgasm as he discovers how much you were enjoying the view.

"Ugh! ugh! ugh! ugh! ugh!"

"Yeah.......come on baby....I'll make you cum...." picking up the pace, a feat you didn't think was possible as he was already going at an incredibly pleasurable speed, you felt his tip going in deeper as Heejeong fucks you in a jack-hammer momentum, groaning and releasing a prolonged growl into your ear. "Now baby....."

Arching your back, you tilt your head back as your hips and groin muscles levitate, pushing against his lower abdominal muscles.

Releasing your essence, you coat his shaft with the hot moisture that glazes over his entire length. Feeling it was the most amazing sensation, and it caused him to violently unleash inside you.

"Uh.....fuck!.......Fucking hell babe......fuck i'm cumming."

Pelting in a series of small thrusts, much like Heeseung did, Heejeong ensures that the entire produce of his essence makes it into the deepest and darkest part of your body. Once again, you felt the joy in thought, as you imagined Heejeong's DNA merging with yours and his cum spreading his genes inside you, transforming your body into accepting motherhood.

He remained laying on top of you, plastering you with such warm and loving kisses, whispering how much he loved you.

.....................

"Fucking dammit......I can't get enough of you....I love you so much......I'm never letting you go......y/n."

Kissing you, he lifts his frame off and away from you, yet remained position in between your legs on his propped knees. Tapping his fingers along your chest, he allows you to catch your breath as you took in your deep inhales. Your face remained turned away and laying off to the side, with your hair slightly plastered on your glistening skin.

You felt the touch of his fingers gently grazing against your cheek, moving the pieces of hair that was stuck to your skin. Shifting your eyes over to the side, you noted how both Heejeong's hands were on your chest, and the other was resting on his hip.

So whose hands were touching your face?.......

Looking up, standing and leaning against the back side of the sofa, hovering his chest above you, was Heeseung.

"Fuck you're so pretty......" he calmly states as he continues to move your strands.

Dressed all in black, and adorning a black cap, you noted the muscles of his chest as his black fitted tee and looked as if it was painted on his skin, it was so pleasantly form fitting. His hands adorned black, fingerless martial arts gloves, and he completed the ensemble with black jeans and boots. He resembled a bodyguard, or a bouncer at a night club, which had made you garnished thoughts on just what he had planned on doing with Kurt had it not been for you to call and beg him to dismiss his plan.

Your thoughts on Kurt was quickly interrupted by Heejeong's hand joining in, finding home on both your pelvic bones as Heeseung continued to tap his fingers along your cheek, and along your lips.

Smirking, Heeseung leans in, reaching all the way down to kiss you. The scent of his warm and spiced cologne combats Heejeong's cool and icy fragrance, merging into a perfected mirage of colorful scents.

Eyeing you up and down, you saw how Heeseung admires your skin, sparkling under the natural lighting in the room with the small beads of sweat that remained dewed on every part of your body.

"Well baby girl..........time for round 2."

"R...r....round....2?" you stuttered as you continued to gain your breathing back to a stabled pattern.

You heard them both chuckle, as they displayed a smirk that represented their own persona; Heeseungs sadistic one versus Heejeong's malicious grin. Issuing their expressions to you with wide eyes, they both respond simultaneously.......

"Bingo.....baby.......sis......"

Authors note: OOooooooohohohohohoh Y/n is in for it now......mmmmhmmm....TBC!

Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry@honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07@raishaii@yangjungwon33 @lhspeachie ; @differentchildwombat ; @prettykia ; @kimsseonu ; @stvrryhee ; @en-thralled ; @hoonzdzbl ; @yuppppp ; @jinniespuppy ; @browsehnnie @prettykia @lprww @they2luv1naia @ellixqz@mimimovv @stvrryhee @moonmoongi @seungjiseyo @csmicvrse @yohanabanana , @heeshees@yumii0828 , @lprww, @mariji , @silcry @cutiejseong

[misterfynn]

cw // kidnapping, intox, heavy bdsm, honestly this one I'm letting my imagination run wild, so proceed with caution.

You woke up with a start, you could finally see again, but when you went to tried to speak, realized you were muffled by a gag. You looked around the room, only to see dimly lit space with empty walls, save for a mirror. You tried to get up, but found yourself tied down to something. It's inside you, and it feels good. *click* It turns on, and instantly you struggle to think, how did this happen? Using the last of your brain power you think back to all that has happened.

Two weeks ago you saw an ad online. "Start a new life, whatever you think you're worth, pay me and I'll increase your investment tenfold". You were skeptical, a whole new life and you just have to "pay your worth?". You figured it was worth a shot, life hadn't been kind as of late.

This dear reader, is where you can insert your own struggles. I want you to picture how nice a new life would be, no more dead end jobs, no more wasted time in classes, you could start over, be someone new. You'd like that wouldn't you? But how much do you think your current life is actually worth? I'm curious, tell me in the comments.

You recently got an extra hundred bucks you were planning to gamble away in a few weeks at the casino anyways, you figure why not give it a shot here. You send the anonymous poster the money and move on with your day. You're let down when you don't hear anything for a week, you assume you got scammed and start looking for a way to get your money back. But that's when the first email arrives.

It asks, "What kind of life do you crave?". Followed with several options, an easy life, an exciting life, or the high life. You've had enough excitement lately, easy sounds like it could be boring, so you choose the high life. Images of richers and power flash through your mind, but still skeptical this is all a scam you don't get your hopes up.

A week later you got the call, "they're on their way, leave your house at 08:30 exactly, the rest will be handled from there, welcome to your new life." The phone immediately went dead. As you were told, you started to head to work and left your house at exactly 8:30. You almost got to your car, before the masked men appeared. They roughly grabbed you, tied your arms behind your back, gagged and blindfolded you, and hauled you off to their van. You hated to admit it, but the whole thing felt straight out of a fantasy, you were wet instantly.

Then a sharp pain in your leg, like a needle stabbing you, and you don't remember much from there. You remember being in a haze, as men in masks tied you down to a surgical table. You remember blurry faces, and how wet you were when they inspected your holes. You remember the pain that you felt when the tattoo gun marked you behind your ear. Now you remember how you got to where you are now, able to see for the first time in what feels like days. Straddling something vibrating between your legs, it feels amazing you realize.

'I feel so good?' You think with a shock, whatever drugs are in your system, you secretly want them to give you more. You start bucking against what you can only assume is a Sybian. Within minutes, you've cum twice, and are begging for more when the machine stops. Another masked man walks in, he removes the gag. Before you can speak, he has placed a pill on your tongue, and placed water to your lips expecting you to swallow. You don't give it much thought before the pill is already down your throat.

"What is your name", he asks.

You try to make a word form but are unable, you weakly motion for more water.

He provides you with the water as requested, then present another opportunity.

"If I pull out my cock and you make me cum, I'll have the boys turn the machine back on for you until you're ready to start your new life, would you like that?"

Would you really stoop that low? Are you that desperate to cum? The wetness you immediately feel as he pulls out his already hardening dick gives you all the answer you need. Maybe it's the drugs, or maybe this is who you were deep inside all along. You take his cock deep in your throat. Before you know it, you're rewarded, not just with what you realize is surprisingly tasty seed, but also you get to cum again, again, and again.

The next several hours are a blur of pleasure and drugs taking a stronger hold. The higher you are, the harder you cum. Enough time has passed you feel you might be reaching your limit as another masked man enters. The machine is turned off, you are collared and leashed, and for the first time today, you get to stand on your own two shaky legs.

You're so high you can't walk straight, he helps stabilize and guide you with one hand around your neck, the other holding your hand until you're moved into a cage.

"This one's ready for auction", you hear.

"Make sure she takes one of these before being presented", the man hands the other another pill.

"And don't hesitate to crank up the power, we need her to show she's worth 10 times her investment."

Next thing you know, you're in a cage, on stage. You're so high you can barely process anything, you feel yourself drooling, you hear yourself moaning, and most importantly, you feel yourself cumming on the dildo being thrust deep inside you. It's pumping so quickly, so deep, it feels amazing. As you cum one final time, you just barely make out

"SOLD, to the man in back for one thousand dollars!".

Would you look at that, you did make ten times your investment, and you're about to start your new life!

[railingsofsorrow]

Epilogue

[peter parker x reader]

summary: harry finds your behaviour slightly suspicious & there's an evening spent between friends.

pairing: p.parker x f!reader; slightly harry osborn x f!reader; mj x felicia hardy.

w.c: 3.3K

warnings/content: jealousy; injuries (mentioned); protective harry osborn; language; migraines (mentioned); clumsy but committed peter parker (yes, he learnt from his mistakes. finally); discussion about the multiverse theory; angst but there's more fluff this time sadly; minor character's death (mentioned).

A/N: this fic has come to an end :( it was fun writing this. my first experience in writing a short spiderman fic, it was so hard to come up with a good ending and it probably still not perfect but I feel like it's a good enough one. I hope you like it too and that you'll come back to read more of my spiderman stuff, cause there will definitely be more! good reading, people <3

navi

masterpost

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[1] [1.2] [2] [3] [4]

“So they're just gone?”  

You turn your neck to glare at your friend. Ever since you mentioned your migraines to him one day and he saw one of your episodes once or twice — a little bit more than that — he hasn't stopped bugging you about it. He wanted you to go to the doctors to get checked out. Until, well. Until the migraines miraculously vanished. Your head never bothered you anymore and you're even sleeping better, given the lack of dark circles around your eyes.  

Harry wasn’t having it.  

First and foremost, he did not believe continuous migraines were cured just like that. Overnight. Because how come he saw you incapable of watching a lecture one day and you're perfectly fine on the other?  

Either you are popping some pills or someone magically healed you.  

He didn't like any of the options. 

He was still worried, okay? Harry cares. He may not be loud with it, but it's you, so he cares. And he cares a lot. You should know better than to just outright lie to him. 

“Yes. Why does it matter? I'm fine, shouldn't you be happy I'm no longer whining on your shoulder?” 

“You're not taking drugs, are you?” 

A surprised laugh echoed around the room and he almost felt his body melt at the sight of your curled up frame from how much you were laughing.  

“It amazes me,” you said between chuckles. “that you'd think I'd pull that off.” Not without him knowing, at least. You and Harry are side by side for almost the entire day.

“I don't doubt you.” 

“You're losing faith in me.” 

“I never had it.” He huffs out a laugh when you throw a pillow at his face, hitting him right on his nose. He fell on his bed with a groan, you moved his homework out of the way before he could mess it up by laying on top of it.  

“Just... tell me if it gets to that point again, okay? 

You look at him, contemplating something that he can't figure out. With the way you avoid his eyes as you answer, he knows you decided to say something else instead of that first thought. “I will. But it won't.” He found the conviction in your voice strange. You can't know if it will ever get that bad again. Just as the migraines miraculously left, they might come back.  

He didn’t question it further. 

You went back to your homework, sharing some insights on his as he does with yours. It didn’t last long until your phone started blaring beneath the pillow you're perched on, the sound being slightly muffled by the fabric.  

You feel Harry's teasing before he can sputter out a sentence.  

“Shut up.” You hissed, picking up the call without looking at the caller ID.  

“One Direction. Really?” 

“Hello.” You pointedly turn away from his smirky face. You have to take the phone away from your ear due to some loud police sirens that come from the line.  

“Hi, hello!” The distinctive voice of Peter Parker replies. Yelling. That was the only way you would be able to hear him anyway. “There's been a thing and I— Shit!”  

You concluded the phone is thrown away because his voice suddenly sounds very far. 

You offered Harry a lousy excuse to step out into the hallway, frowning at the other voices and the police sirens you could hear.  

“Peter, you—” 

“I'm back!” Again, you take the phone away from your ear with a sigh. “Sorry, I was— I was busy.” You gathered that fact by the way he sounded breathless.  

“Are you running?” 

“No!” The noise proceeded to quieten down and you raise an eyebrow at his blatant lie. “Sorry, was I loud? Feels like I was being loud. Sorry.” A door is closing and he's groaning at the end of the line. Instead of finding it funny, you start to get worried, picturing a dislocated shoulder or maybe a deep gash on his arm like last time.  

You and Peter made an agreement. When you agreed to be friends again — part of that starting over bullshit that was your idea — you and him worked on filling each other out on both of your lives. Just catching up as good friends do. Less than a month later you were patching up his wounds as if you never had stopped doing that in the first place. Sometimes, you'd even think you were back where you started as if it was all back to the start of your story in Queens. Midtown. Making plans with Ned and Peter for the weekends. Sitting with MJ at lunch as much as she claimed she hated company. . .

There was a pull at your chest every time you remembered it wasn't like this. You weren't back at that time. You couldn't go back. You only had the now and it had to be enough. It was enough.  

“Peter, are you hurt?” But you still felt the same agony whenever the idea of Peter being hurt came across your mind. An unsettling fear settling up in your core.  

“No.” he shuffled around, clearing his throat. His voice was back for you to hear it clearly. “I'm fine. Just a bank robbery downtown and I—” he paused to let out a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry I'm late, I'll be there in a second, okay?” 

You blink, confused. “What? Late for what, Peter?” 

“Hanging out?” He said followed by a tinge of uncertainty. “Uh, you said that after class—” 

Your brows shot up in recognition. “Oh! Yeah, that's—” Then you checked the time on your phone. You were supposed to meet after class to hang out around 5 p.m. It was still 3 in the afternoon. “Peter,” you held in a chuckle. “That's like, two hours away. You're not late.” 

There's silence on his end and you start laughing.  

“Oh,” he mumbled, letting out a breath of relief. “That's— That's good. I was thinking that I was like really really late and—”  

“You're good, webs.” You softly reassured him. Peter has been working really hard to make sure he doesn't mess up with you again. That included arriving early at places. “Are you at home?” 

“Yeah, I just got here.”  

“Mhm. And you're not hurt at all?” 

“Just a few scratches,” Peter answered with hesitancy. You smiled triumphantly. Not because you're happy he's hurt but because you knew you were right. “I'm fine, alright? You don't have to come.” 

“Okay.” You said, stepping back into your dorm room, catching Harry eying your frame from your bed curiously. “No broken limbs though, right?” 

Peter's scoff put a smile on your lips. “Have some faith in me. I can handle a robbery.”  

The joke Spiderman can handle a robbery but Peter Parker is still clumsy almost slips out but, thankfully, you remember you're not alone.  

“Sure. I'll see you later.” 

“Hey,” he called your name before you could hang up so you waited for him to speak. “Do you— are you going— how are you— I mean...” 

“Peter, breathe.” 

You didn’t notice Harry's eye-roll, too busy cracking up at Peter's stuttering mess.  

“Okay. Alright. Are you going by yourself? Cause I can pick you up and we can go, you know, so you don't have to go alone?” He clarified, a strain in his voice as if he's been choking up to say that.  

“Oh. Harry and I are going to head out together, actually. He's here.” 

You patiently waited for his response. “Of course. Yeah. Okay. I'll see you later then. You and— and Harry. And everyone else.” 

“Yeah.” You sat down on the bed, biting the inside of your cheek. A weird feeling of guilt in in your chest. “See you later, then. Bye.” 

You don't know why you feel guilty about turning him down. All of you would meet in the same place anyway so it's not like you weren't gonna see him, right? It's just a matter of logistics.  

“Was that your boyfriend?” 

You gave Harry a blank stare as you threw your phone to the side to go back to your assignment. One of his eyebrows arched up in defiance, he played your game of not looking away for a few minutes before you got sick of it.  

“I wonder if the reason you're bothered by Peter is because you secretly have a crush on him.” 

He looks away first and your lips spread into a satisfied smirk.  

“Parker's not my type.” Harry uttered, leaning over your lap to mark a question that you had gotten wrong. His curls tickling your chin. “And this is wrong. It's not fifteen, it's fifty.” He decided to add for good measure, stepping out of your personal space. “I'm not bothered by him.” 

You hummed quietly, erasing the previous calculation to redo the math.  

“Who is your type anyway?” You asked, trying to cut through the tension. Every time you mention Peter, Harry's mood shifted. He got too quiet. He just didn’t like him for some reason you couldn't yet figure out. Peter and he haven't met before, that much you know. You claim you'll be out of this, because it's none of your business, some people just don't like each other, it happens. But you're curious and if the opportunity to find out the X of the equation comes, you won't run from it. 

“You'll never know.” His mumble is so low that you wouldn't have heard it if you weren't sitting so close to each other. He steals the pen you were using, earning a frown from you. “I like this one better.” 

“Buy one for you then,” you complained, not moving to get the pen back from him. You take the one he was using instead, eager to finish the assignment so you can have the rest of the afternoon free with your friends. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

[Pete]: (Picture attached)  

[Pete]: Do you want this back? 

When you opened the text message, your breath hitched. The image Peter had sent you showed the red scarf, the one you never let go of. You hadn't seen it in a while, ever since... Ever since you paid him a visit that night. The night you were set on burning the scarf along with that collection of pictures you found in your room.  

You've been to Peter's place countless times after that, though. You wondered why he never mentioned anything.  

[You]: Keep it. 

You sighed, conflicted with that short answer. You weren't being rude, you didn't meant to be. But you didn't need the scarf anymore. Not when you have him back in your life. You realized the scarf represented everything the two of you lived and everything you didn't.  

You didn't want it back. You weren't ready. 

Not now, at least. You hoped he wouldn't be hurt by it. 

[You]: Maybe one day you can give it back to me.  

Satisfied with your reply, you slipped your phone into your pocket, standing up to help Harry carry five smoothies toward your table. Ned and MJ were on their way, as for Peter, you figured it was the same. His apartment wasn't that far from where you were.  

“I know a loser when I see one.”  

“Hello, MJ.” You greeted after taking the first sip of your smoothie. You offer her hers and she bumps your hip, sitting beside you in the booth as a greeting. “Where's Ned?” You asked, frowning now that you didn't see the boy arriving along with her. They were always together.  

She shrugged, leaning back. “He said he would be ten minutes late. He was gonna get Peter so they could go to this store nearby his place before coming here.”  

You didn't take long to acknowledge which store she was talking about. An eye roll later, you crack out a smile in amusement. 

“The Star Wars one?” 

She nodded and the three of you quickly entered a conversation about a movie that was airing on the local theatre. Ned and Peter arrived in the middle of your discussion, a few bags in their hands that earned your curiosity.  

“Did you buy the whole store?” You joked, the edge of your lips curling up as Peter sat down in front of you, placing two little bags on the corner of his seat.  

Peter raised an eyebrow at you, amusement all over his features. “Did I?” 

“Looks like it.” 

“Oh, this is—!” Ned exclaimed, taking a sip of his smoothie. Harry held back a laugh at the boy's blissed-out state. “You got it right.” He then pointed at Harry accusingly. “I love you.” 

Harry shrugged, “I know.”  

“The one time I got your order wrong—” MJ begins. 

“You never get the right one.” Ned deadpanned, interrupting MJ's speech. The girl kicked his chin under the table and Ned proceeded to kick hers back. Just before the childish fight could escalate, you pull both of their ears and hear whining asking you to stop.  

Peter and Harry were chucking and you have to backtrack because Harry wasn't glaring at Peter for the first time. Is this progress? 

After a mindless walk to the nearest park, all of you silently decided to stick around for a while longer, basking in what was left of the sunset and the hues of orange, pink and blue that mixed together to form the purple sky of the evening.  

You teased MJ at her inability to stop texting her girlfriend while in an evening among friends and she flipped you off immediately, blushing. She's been seeing Felicia Hardy for two months and from what you could see, it was becoming rather serious, even though MJ still cannot admit it. You know your best friend and her hidden smiles and secret joy because of a new person she's interested in. 

“No, no, no. You don't get it. It's like different universes in one— Actually, no. Multiple universes that are currently happening right now. You could be you, but you're, I don't know, a villain in this other universe, while here, you're just Harry.” 

Both of your and Peter's neck snapped as you turned towards the conversation between Harry and Ned.  

Harry carried a crease between his brows, confusion twisting the corner of his lips. 

“So I'm me... but different?” 

Ned nodded vehemently. He'd always get excited whenever the topic of multiverse was brought up.  

You, on the other hand, were tense and you did not have to look at Peter to know his reaction as well. 

“I'm sure in every reality you're an entitled filthy rich bastard the same way. Don't worry.” MJ’s comment was enough you breathe again. Peter’s awkward laugh at your side.

Harry rolls his eyes, “and I'm sure you're sarcastic and bitchy about anything and anyone, Jones.” 

You throw your head back to stare up at the sky. 

“Children.” You mocked. Peter attempted to hide his laugh but he was not successful. You found it endearing how his cheeks slowly turned pink. It reminded you of when you were kids, he'd turn into a tomato every time he tried to hold in his laugh. “Behave.” 

They initiated a bickering about she started it and he started it and Ned made a comment to side with Harry to add fire to the flames.  

Sometimes you thought they could remember and then reality crashed down the moment for what it truly was. It could be good and bad at the same time. Bittersweet might be the right term to name the feeling. Of course you miss everything that was, but what currently is is also good, in a way. You have your people, despite the losses, you have him back and it's all that you could ask for. 

“Peter.”  

He gives you a sheepish smile, looking down at his shoes as he buried his hand in his jacket.  

“Did you like it?” 

You close the small box carefully. “How could I not? It's beautiful. I loved it.” You said, then punched his shoulder playfully. He pretends it hurts, but you know it doesn't. “Don't spend that much money on me, Parker.” 

Peter shrugged, playing the nonchalant part. “I'll do what I want, actually.” 

“You're such an annoying little shit, aren't you?” 

He shrugged again, this time he's got a cocky grin and a little smug attitude you recognized from when he got an answer right and you got one wrong in an assignment. It's a glimpse of the carefree nature of Peter Parker. He's a little bit proud at times, but still clumsy around people, shy between strangers, and wears his heart on his sleeve for the people he truly cares about.  

“You love it.” 

“Help me,” you asked him when everyone stopped by the fountain on your way back to university. You had your back to him and he finally understood what he was supposed to do when he saw your fingers holding the two parts of the necklace behind your neck. He stepped forward, taking both parts from your hands and freezing once your fingers met. Your skin was cold. You shivered as he clasped the necklace, adjusting with a shaky sigh. His throat moved under his hard gulp. “Thank you.” You turned around with the little rose gold maple leaf pendant around your neck.  

Peter blinked at you in a daze. The streetlight illuminated your figure as you moved your hair away from your shoulders so it wasn't curling around the necklace anymore.  

You're beautiful. So beautiful.  

As soon as he saw the maple leaf pendant, you came into his mind. It reminded him of the Fall, your favorite season, which, of course, led him to you. Funny that everything, somehow, lead him to you. He doesn't know what his life would be if it didn't. Nothing would make much sense, honestly. Peter didn't know how the other Peter Parkers handled losing you in their universe. It was such a difficult thought for him to even consider. His initial goal was to protect you and if that meant he had to let you go, then so be it. He would do it. Because you deserved a life without the mess that was his life. You deserved peace and happiness. But that plan backfired when he saw you crossing the street to reach a coffee shop. It was 8pm in the evening and he was on patrol. He had stopped two robberies an hour before so he was getting ready to go home and throw himself into bed, give a rest to his alter ego for the night. Until you showed up, crossing the street so distracted that a car almost hit you. Peter pulled you back in time, a hand on your shoulder to steady you from the scare of the car horn. You had been crying and at the moment Peter's only thought was to comfort you and figure out who had made you feel that way.  

“Myself.” You laughed, tearfully. “Sorry. I wasn't paying attention.” 

He convinced himself that from that point on he had to watch over you, to simply make sure you wouldn't cross the street without looking both ways again, or trip mad and get a severe head injury. He'd watch you from afar, it couldn't do any harm. 

In reality, that was Peter's way of not letting you go and it had not been fair to either one of you. Especially you, who earned headaches and migraines and insomnia because of memories begging to come back, memories that shouldn't have been removed at all.  

Peter disappointed you. He disappointed himself too — and probably Aunt May, who must be shaking her head in disapproval wherever she was watching over him from. He's slowly making peace with himself after everything. He's finally seen that having you close by was better than the heartache of letting you go and trying foolishly to move on. He didn't want to move on from you and if that was selfish. . . that was fine. Peter was never anything besides selfless his entire life. And if you wanted to be in his life, why couldn't he want to be in yours?  

He would acknowledge the past and make the best out of the present. As for the future, well, he wasn't concerned, it would probably lead him to you. As always.  

[wandasreallover]

She don't wanna be saved|wanda Maximoff x reader

Warning:suicide, depression, overdose

Growing up, life was never easy for me. I had always struggled with depression, a dark cloud that seemed to follow me wherever I went. No matter what I did,no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to shake it off. It wasn't until I met Wanda Maximoff that I truly believed I had found someone who could help me through it all.

Wanda and I met by chance, in a small coffee shop in New York City. She was sitting alone in a corner, sipping on her drink and looking lost in thought. I remember feeling drawn to her, as if we were connected somehow. I mustered up the courage to approach her and we ended up talking for hours. We had an instant connection and I knew that she was someone special.

As we got to know each other, Wanda opened up to me about her own struggles and how she found a way to overcome them. She told me about her powers and how she used them to help others as well as losing her brother, and I couldn't help but admire her strength and determination. Being with her made me feel like I could overcome anything.

From that day on, Wanda and I were inseparable. We shared everything with each other, and she showed me a world I never knew existed. It was as if Shecleard the fog in my mind. She took me to places I had only dreamed of and introduced me to people who quickly became my friends. I truly believed that I was getting better, that I was finally able to leave my depression behind.

But as they say, what goes up must come crashing down, . And when it did, it hit me harder than ever before.

Wanda was away on a mission with the Avengers, and I was left alone in our apartment. At first, I was fine. I went about my daily routine, trying my best to keep my mind occupied. But as the days went by, I felt myself slipping back into the darkness. I tried to fight it, I really did, but it was a losing battle.

I couldn't bring myself to leave the apartment or even open the curtains. The only time I left my room was to eat or go to the bathroom. I didn't want to burden Wanda with my struggles, especially when she was out there saving the world. So, I put on a façade, pretending that everything was okay.

But then, one day, I just couldn't take it anymore. I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor, crying uncontrollably. The weight of the world was crushing me, and I felt like I couldn't escape it. I reached for the bottle of pills in the medicine cabinet and without hesitation, I swallowed handful after handful until it was empty.

In that moment,before the pain, before the struggle, I felt a sense of relief. I thought I had finally found a way to end my pain. But as the darkness closed in and my vision blurred, I realized that I didn't want to die. I wanted to live, I wanted to be with Wanda and see the world through her eyes. But it was too late, the pills had taken their effect and I knew I was slipping away do despite my hesitation I made my peace. Death had been my best friend for years, he was always there giving me an opinion, giving me control, offering the freedom I craved.

As I lay on the bathroom floor, my vision fading, I managed to scrawl a note to Wanda. It was messy and barely legible, but I hoped that she would understand. I apologized for leaving her, for not being strong enough to fight my demons. I told her how much she meant to me, and how grateful I was for the time we spent together. And with my last bit of strength, I wrote that I loved her.

I don't know how much time had passed when I heard the apartment door open. I tried to lift my head to see who it was, but my body wouldn't cooperate. Until, I felt someone kneeling beside me and I heard Wanda's panicked voice calling out my name. But I wasn't looking up at her like I expected no, I was outside looking in on her pain.

When she saw me lying there, she let out a strangled cry and cradled my head in her lap. Through my still blurry vision, I could see the tears streaming down her face as she pulled me closer to her. And then she saw the note in my hand and her sobs became even more intense.

I could feel my body shutting down, though I wasn't in it, I wanted to say something, anything to comfort Wanda. In a raspy voice, I managed to tell her that I loved her and that I was sorry. Not that she could hear me. Everything went black after that.

No ones pov

Wanda never truly got over you, not when she fell in love with vision, not when she had her children. Two twins a boy named Billy and a girl she named "kamil" meaning perfect a nickname she gave you at the start of your relationship.

In the first few years, wanda would visit the gave where you were buried at least once a week. She would spend hours telling you the events in her life with such caution. She has stopped crying every time she visits now, it was getting easier yet it still ached the same as it did when she found you lying there.

You looked forward to Wanda's visits and unbeknownst to her you would sit on the other side of the headstone with your back to her listening with great interest. You were proud of her and her achievements, you just wish you were there to achieve them with her.

Over time Wanda's visits became less frequent dwindling to only important events such as your birthday or Christmas. That was until her visits stopped all together. She had officially moved on without you.

A/n:I sincerely apologise. I hurt myself writing this but I needed it so like I'm just going to leave this here.

[snepril]

Treatment Plan

Here's a little gift story I wrote on a whim for @crizbn!

Morphostasin Apanthera 200mg tablet Take twice daily, or as needed for symptoms of transgenic regressive morphology syndrome. Chris turned the pill bottle over in his paws, a soft, frustrated growl rumbling in his chest as he eyed the childproof cap. He understood it was a safety measure, but they really could've made them easier to open when you didn't have proper fingers - and it was always the hands that went first. Okay, that wasn't true. His tail usually came in first. Or his ears. Or sometimes his whiskers. The paws usually came after that, but he wasn't going to waste a dose on stuff that didn't even bother him. It was only a problem when he started losing dexterity, and he usually had plenty of warning before that happened! Usually. Though lately, it had been harder to notice the changes creeping up on him, but that wasn't his fault! He'd still be able to take his medicine if it wasn't for the stupid childproof caps. The doctors didn't share his opinion. Every time he had to go in for an emergency dose, they lectured him on the importance of taking his medicine regularly and at the first sign of changes. But TRMS had only sprung up a few years ago, so what did they really know? They definitely didn't understand how uncomfortable it was to walk around without a tail when you'd gotten used to having one, or how bad human ears were, or anything else about being a morph! Another growl slipped past his lips, this time loud enough to get a nervous glance from the man waiting two chairs down. Chris's ears pinned back beneath his hood. He was the only morph in the waiting room, of course, and even with his hoodie and drawn over his head, his inhuman features were easy to spot. His face was still mostly human, but patches of spotted snow leopard fur had already overtaken his cheeks and forehead. His arms weren't so lucky, and he was forced to sit at an awkward hunch with a pair of jarringly animalistic forelegs crossed in his still-human lap, his claws catching on his jeans as he waited for the nurses to call his name. He was tired, his hips hurt, and he'd been stuck in the hospital's waiting room for almost an hour now, enduring both the stares of the other patients and the occasional pops of his still-shifting skeleton. They'd already helped him take his Morphostasin tablets, but they could only do so much when he was this far along - he was stuck uncomfortably half-human until the doctors could see him. Then, just as his patience was nearing its end, the nurse called his name. They led him through the winding hospital halls with hardly a word, and to their credit, they only glanced at Chris's tail once or twice during the walk. It was all routine to him by now - the constant odd looks, the sterile hospital decor, and the familiar ritual of the nurse getting his vitals and checking his records. A few minutes later he was lying in a hospital bed watching the fur recede across his arms as an IV feed a cocktail of antimorphic drugs into his system. Any minute now the doctor would arrive, and he'd have to suffer through another lecture about the dangers of his condition. Sure enough, the doctor entered the room with three soft knocks on the door, and Chris braced himself for the inevitable. The doctor was an older woman, her tan skin dotted with freckles and her silver-streaked hair done up in a loose bob. She held a bulky tablet in her hands, its back covered in stickers of various animals. To Chris's surprise, she didn't seem annoyed - they usually were. Instead, she greeted him warmly, her smile tracing soft lines across her cheeks. "Good evening, Chris. My name is Dr. Chalmers. I'm a specialist in TRMS - the hospital hired me last month to help out with the increase in cases in the area. Are you feeling okay?"

He blinked, a bit thrown off by the friendly greeting. "Um... yeah. A bit sore, but the medicine is working." Her eyes skimmed over her tablet. "Well, I imagine this is all fairly routine to you now, isn't it?" There it was. "Yeah..." he muttered, eyes falling to the floor. Dr. Chalmers's smile softened. "Don't worry, I'm not here to yell at you. According to your record, you've gotten more than enough of that." His ears perked up - literally. "You aren't?" She shook her head. "Like I said: I'm a specialist. We still don't know much about what causes people like you to experience the changes you do, but we're learning more every day. We're also learning how to better help morphs manage their changes. Given that this is your..." She glanced down at her tablet. "...third visit this year alone, I'd wager that your current regimen isn't working for you." "It... is kinda hard to remember to take my medicine every day," he admitted. "And you usually don't take it until the changes progress more?" Dr. Chalmers asked with a knowing smile. Chris nodded guiltily, and she chuckled. "Don't worry. That's more common than most doctors would like to admit." She sat down on the stool next to him, resting her tablet in her lap. "I've treated a lot of morphs over the last few years. I don't think I'd have ever believed anyone who told me this would end up being my specialty, but then again, I don't think anyone saw TRMS coming!" Chris couldn't help it. He laughed in spite of himself, and Dr. Chalmers's smile widened. "Your condition is a special one," she continued, "and it made us re-evaluate more than a few things we thought we understood pretty well. The more we've come to understand TRMS, the better treatments we've been able to come up with. Morphostasin was the first, but it's not always the best. There's a new medication entering large-scale trials. It's not a cure, but it's able to completely prevent changes with only yearly doses. I could sign you up for the trial, if you're interested." "Oh," Chris said quietly, a pit forming in his stomach. "I guess that'd be much easier to remember." If it could completely prevent his snow leopard side from coming out, it'd definitely make a lot of things a lot easier. No more weird looks, no more foul-tasting medicine, no more losing his hands for hours on end... ...no more fur, no more paws, no more tail. Dr. Chalmers leaned forward. "You know, I've never been much of a people person," she said idly. "People are too hard to read, and patients tend to lie even when it only hurts them. That's actually one of my favorite things about working with morphs," she gestured to Chris's ears. "You can always tell when they're only pretending to feel okay." Chris blushed, but Dr. Chalmers waved it away. "It's okay, Chris. You're hardly the first morph I've worked with who felt a connection to their animal side, and I had a feeling you wouldn't be interested in the trial program. That's why I wanted to present you with another option." Chris froze, a flash of nervous fear flaring in his chest. He hadn't told anyone how he really felt about his changes. Did... did she know? "First, however, I need to ask you a question. Do you know what happens if your changes are allowed to progress untreated?" He nodded. Of course he knew - he could hardly go a week without someone bringing it up. "They, um- I mean, I get stuck, right?"

Dr. Chalmers nodded. "The 'T' in 'TRMS' stands for 'transgenic'. It means that, somehow, you have two separate genetic sequences in you - in your case, you've got both human and snow leopard DNA. As your condition progresses, your human cells get replaced, along with your human DNA. Morphostasin and drugs like it reverse that process, but they need enough of your original DNA in your body to work. If you were to change all the way, we wouldn't be able to change you back. Plainly put, you'd be a snow leopard for the rest of your life. So with that said, I'm going to ask you a question that I imagine nobody else has." She looked Chris dead in the eyes. "Is that what you want?" Chris's heart leapt into his chest. She had asked him that. That little question that had lurked in the back of his mind so many nights, that little dream that he'd told himself could never come true. And just like every time he'd thought of it, he could think of a thousand reasons to say no. He'd lose his hands, his voice, any semblance of a normal life. He'd be stuck as an animal - and where could a snow leopard even live in the US? It would be stupid, reckless, irresponsible... ...and he knew what his answer had to be. "...I do, yeah," he admitted, so quietly he wondered if the doctor had even heard him. Yet she just smiled that same gentle smile. "See these stickers?" she asked, holding up her tablet so that the back faced him. "Each one is for a patient I've had in the past. I've met all kinds of morphs over the years - a tiger, a deer, a couple of birds, even a shark! And for some of them - more than you'd think - the idea of becoming the animal inside isn't something scary. It's a big change, sure, but that's why people like me are here - to help. Of course, once the changes are complete, there isn't much for me to do as a doctor. So whenever I have my last appointment with someone, I put another sticker on my tablet to remember them by." She peered over the edge of her tablet. "I think I've got room for a snow leopard on here. Don't you?"

- - - The rest of the appointment was a blur. Dr. Chalmers had, thankfully, come prepared - she had reassured Chris that fully transitioned morphs retained their human minds, and that he could likely expect a full human lifespan even if he changed. She also explained the legal ramifications, and promised to give him information on a facility in Canada that specialized in arctic morphs. It was still a big change, but the simple fact that there were other people like him had done wonders to put his worries at ease. And now he was home. He was fully human again - the ride home would've been miserable otherwise - but for the first time, that didn't bother him so much. Not when he knew it was temporary. As he lay in bed, reading and re-reading the pamphlets Dr. Chalmers had given him, he could hardly contain his excitement. If the pictures were anything to go by, the facility she'd mentioned was a dream come true. It had comfortable living spaces, huge outdoor playgrounds, and even computers designed for animal use! Dr. Chalmers had assured him they had plenty of space, and that she'd arrange a meeting with their intake specialists. For now, all he had to do was wait - they'd give him a call in the next few days. This time next month, he'd be one of the snow leopards under their care. One of them. That thought had been enough to send his heart soaring all over again. He'd never met another snow leopard morph, and soon he'd be living with them! It was a dizzying prospect - scary, sure, but that didn't dampen his enthusiasm. For the first time since his changes had begun, he felt... hopeful. Like he'd have a chance to really be who he wanted to be. That simple thought swirled through his brain as sleep finally caught up with him. As Chris the snow leopard drifted off to sleep, he dreamed of the life he'd soon be living, of days spent running through evergreen forests with the snow beneath his paws and the wind in his fur. And in the trash can across from his bed, the bottle of Morphostasin sat, its obnoxious little cap already forgotten.

[whoisshel]

The Pollywog

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

word count: 1873

tw: swearing

previous part

It was the day after Halloween, and you woke up with a raging headache that made your head feel like it was going to explode any second. Your body was buzzing from the alcohol still in your system and every movement made you feel sick to your stomach. Slowly rolling onto your back, you let out a loud groan at how awful that slight movement felt. Hearing a soft laugh to your right, you opened your eyes slightly to see a blurry version of Eddie standing next to the bed. 

“Good afternoon, sleepy.” Eddie mocked, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. “I have some Advil and water for you, but you have to sit up to take it.”

You groaned, closing your eyes again, and let out a quiet whine, “No.”

“Come on, I’ll help you.” Eddie set the stuff in his hands on the bedside table. He puts his hands under your armpits to help you sit up, and by help, he means do all the work while you just moan and groan. “Alright, do you need help with the water?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to open my eyes yet.” 

“Okay.” Eddie chuckled thinking his girlfriend, while being a bit dramatic, was very cute. “Ready?” You only gave a short nod to the question. Eddie grabbed the glass of water and pill, helping you take a sip of water before putting the pill in your mouth; a method you swear makes taking pills way easier. Once you swallowed the pill, Eddie handed you the glass to drink the rest of the water. “I have a big breakfast ready for you.”

You handed the empty glass back to Eddie before falling forward and leaning on his chest. “Thank you, you’re the best.”

“Only for you,” Eddie said softly, then stood back up, almost making you fall all the way forward. “Now come on, let's go eat and try to sober you up more.”

“Can you carry me?” You looked up at Eddie with your bottom lip jutted out.

Eddie leaned down and wrapped your arms around his neck then lifted you off the bed and you wrapped your legs around his waist. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I am.” You pulled back enough to let Eddie see your goofy smile. “We’re not going to school today, right?”

“Baby, you pretty much slept through school.”

“Good.”

—----------------

After eating and taking a shower, you started to feel good enough to have an eventful day with Eddie. They planned to go to the music store and buy some new cassettes and see the new slasher movie, Nightmare on Elm Street. The couple was happy that they were able to spend more time with each other this year with you taking a break from theater and Eddie once again dungeon master he gets to choose the schedule. While you love theater and love being on stage, you needed a break this year. After everything that happened last year and not being able to play your lead role in the musical because of your head injury, you were a bit nervous getting back into it. Even though you were a bit sad without theater, you were happy to see Eddie more. You could tell Eddie was still questionable about what went down last year, so you were hoping all this time you were spending together could take his mind off of it.

“Alright, ready?” Eddie asked you, who nodded in reply. The two of you walked out to Eddie’s car, Eddie opened the passenger side door for you then walked over to the driver’s side and got in. 

“Got anything specific you’re wanting at the music store?” You asked as they drove to the music store.

“Yeah, Dio and Metallica came out with new music in July, and after the amount of money I made last night I can afford them. What about you?” 

 “Well, at the party last night I saw a girl dressed up as Siouxsie Sioux and now I want to buy one of her cassettes, but also The Talking Heads came out with an album in September and I kind of want that too.” You pondered your choices, deciding that you’ll probably end up buying both. 

Eddie’s eyes widen in realization, looking back and forth between the road and you. “I saw her last night, I sold her some weed.”

“She looked so cool!” You exclaimed, jumping a little in your seat. “Made me wish we went as rock stars.”

“You didn’t like our costumes?” Eddie gave you an exaggerated pout.

“I loved our costumes.” You put your hand on Eddie’s arm in reassurance. “Our costumes were bitchin’.”

“They were, weren’t they? We’ll go as rockstars next year.”

You looked over with a big smile, loving that he was thinking about you being together in the future. It still made you happy even after two years of being together. “We’ll definitely have to do it next year.”

Eddie and you made it to the music store and were currently searching for the cassettes you wanted in separate aisles. Once Eddie found the two he was looking for, he walked over to where you were searching through the T’s in the Rock section. Coming up behind you, he took the cassette you already had in your hands so you would have an easier time searching with two hands instead of one. Mumbling thanks, you continued to look for The Talking Heads cassette and grabbed one when you found it. You turned around to face Eddie, waving the cassette around excitedly. Eddie snatched the cassette out of your hand and waved it around mockingly before putting it in the pile with the rest of the cassettes they acquired. You thought he was just being nice carrying them for you, but once you got up to the cash register, Eddie pushed them toward the cashier together instead of in separate piles. 

“What are you doing?” You reached out to separate your cassettes from his. “I’m going to pay for my own.”

Eddie pushed your hands back. “Don’t worry, I made a lot of money last night. I’ve got this.”

“I’ve got my… own money though.” You hesitated to say that the money was yours since it was really your parents. You knew you were privileged, you had money and Eddie didn’t. You didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you didn’t want him to spend too much money on him; especially since that money is supposed to help Wayne too. 

“It’s alright, babe, let me do this.” You could see the tiniest bit of pleading peaking in Eddie’s eyes, so you just gave him a big smile, that you tried to get to reach your eyes, and nodded.

With the cassettes paid for, the two got back in Eddie’s van. Eddie handed the bag of cassettes for you to get the music going while he started the car and drove them to the movies.

“What should we listen to first?” You asked, looking into the bag.

“Umm, Dio?’ Eddie suggested

You took the Dio cassette and put it in the car’s player. You looked at the name of the songs then turned it over to look at the cover. “I should change the Dio picture on that jean vest to this one.”

“Can you do that?” 

Looking at the picture again more closely this time, “Yeah I think I could do it.” You weren’t too bad at art, you weren’t the most perfect but you could manage.

“That’d be awesome, and like every time they have a new album you could paint the new one.” Eddie thought aloud, once again giving you butterflies at the thought of you together in the future.

—----------------

After the movie, Eddie dropped you off at home so you could check in with your mom and have dinner with her. 

You were upstairs getting changed into comfier clothes, your mom yelled for you downstairs, “Y/N, Jonathan, and Nancy are here. Said you guys are supposed to work on a project?”

At those words, you stumbled down the stairs in a panic, not because you thought you had forgotten about a project but because you knew what that lie meant last time. Pam looked back at her daughter thumping down the stairs wondering what the hell was wrong with you.

“Uh, hey guys, I completely forgot that you were coming over.” You stuttered once you made it to the front door. “Why don’t we go up to my room to, um, work on the project.”

The three quickly walked up to your room, slamming the door behind them. Jonathan and Nancy sat on the end of your bed while you paced in front of them as you listened to their awful and quite dangerous idea.

“Alright, alright.” You waved your hands in front of your face, dramatically, to get them to stop talking. “So let me get this straight, you two called Barbara’s mom, who you know is being recorded, to meet in the park so you can tell her what happened,” You paused, waiting for them to confirm what you just said and when they did you continued, “Okay, but you don’t expect Mrs. Holland to show up. This is a whole ploy to lure the bad people so you can record their confession of their inclusion in Barbara's death.”

“So are you in?” Nancy asked, believing you were repeating everything to make sure you had all the facts right before going along with it.

“Are you insane?!” You were not repeating to make sure you understood it, you were repeating it to try and get them to see how dumb this was. “This is a bad idea! It’s very risky, and quite frankly, stupid of you to want to do this.”

You paused, taking a breath to calm yourself down before continuing, “Listen, Nancy, I’m sorry. I’m very sorry for what happened to Barb and now what’s happening to her parents, but we can’t be putting ourselves in this type of danger again.”

“Well, we’re doing this with or without you.” Nancy stood her ground, needing to do this for Barb and herself. You understood that, you just didn’t think this was a good idea and to be honest you’re still scared from everything they went through.

“I know.” You hugged them one at a time. “Just please be safe. If it gets too dangerous, get out of there.”

“We will,” Jonathan said as you hugged.

You walked them to the front door, watching as they left. Pam came over to stand next to her daughter, curious as to what just happened. “That was fast.”

“Yeah, it was pretty much finished, just had to finalize it.” 

Pam looked at her daughter, seeing the distressed look on your face. “You alright, honey?”

“Can we order pizza and watch a movie?” You asked, leaning your head on your mom’s shoulder.

“Didn’t you already watch a movie today?” You pulled your head up to look at Pam with a shocked look wondering how she knew that. “You think I don’t know you skipped school?”

You cringed from getting caught, “Sorry, mom.”

“It’s alright, let me go order the pizza.”

[shhh-secret-time]

Stan Marsh

26 y.o (He/Him)

Soul Synergy: Anything you write on your skin will appear on your soulmate.

Headcanons:

◇ Worked on his father's farm for years, while he didn't want to he stayed for his mom

◇ Shelly moved out and left South Park for a different college. The two aren't close, but they're better than when he was a kid.

◇ He works part-time at the university radio station with Jimmy.

》 Jimmy does most of the commentary, Stan will pitch it sometimes, but he leaves most of the talking to him. Stan is in charge of the music

◇ He has snuck some of Crimson Dawn on air and did the same for Timmy's band. Jimmy doesn't care, but he gives Stan a hard time about it.

◇ Going to college on a sports scholarship, to no one's surprise

》 The surprise came when he almost lost it all.

◇ He struggled heavily with alcoholism when he first moved out of his parents house

◇ Used to go out night after night, being invited to parties and hang out events

◇ It didn't seem like a problem until he woke up with vomit in his hair and had no memory of the last three days.

》 His hair used to be longer but he decided to cut it after that.

◇ It takes the other three to help snap him out of it, not just Kyle.

◇ After that he went and got help, of course the other three had his back. Kyle helped him find the support groups needed around campus. Kenny spread the word of keeping alcohol away from Stan, and Cartman enforced it.

◇ They have a system when they go to parties or out to eat with him. Kenny will give everyone the warning, do not offer him alcohol. Not as a joke, it's not funny. Wanna flirt with him, buy him something else. If you invite him to a party, have some fucking sodas or juice.

◇ Cartman is the next step if for some reason you don't decide to listen. Absolutely embarrasses the person, socially tears them apart. We all know he's very good at turning a crowd on people.

◇ Kyle is the big guns, he lives with Stan. He's his best friend. His super best friend, and he'll be damned if he lets anything happen to him. Kyle's not afraid to let the person know just how small they are and will throw hands if need be.

》 Luckily, it hasn't gotten that far. Most people stop at Cartman.

◇ Stan has worked very hard since then to keep himself clean. He's cut alcohol out completely because he knows how easy it is to slip back into it.

◇ When he feels himself slipping again or tempted, he goes to the gym. He writes a song, goes for a jog, bugs someone with board games, does literally anything to keep his mind off it.

》 His last resort is smoking a cigarette, Kyle doesn't like it, but it's better than the alternative

◇ Stan was able to keep his scholarship but it took a lot of work, and a lot of dedication.

◇ The necklace was a gift from the three boys after Stan's second year clean. They all wrote something up on each line and had Kenny carve it in.

》 Kyle: I'm proud of you man. Keep it up, or I'll kick your ass. -SB

》 Kenny: I am always a call away. I've got you Stan, I love you handsome.

》 Cartman: Don't be fucking stupid. I'm the only one who gets to ruin your life.

(Cartman took up some of Kyle's line. It makes Stan smile everytime he sees it)

◇ It's incredibly corny and off brand for him but he never takes it off, that necklace means everything to him.

◇ He's still the quarterback on the team, and the pressure sometimes gets to him.

◇ He plays basketball with Kyle sometimes, but he's not a fan of getting his ankles rolled all the time so he only does it when he needs to get Kyle to relax

◇ His depression is still there, it never really goes away, but he's got a better understanding of it

◇ Goes to a proper doctor and gets the help he needs. After a few therapist visits, he gets a prescription for it and now here he is.

◇ Since Kenny and Karen live so close Karen helps remind him to take his meds. She leaves him little snacks with every pills.

》 Skittles one day, M&Ms another, Cashews, and then a Reese's cup at the end of the week (I just like the idea of the group adopting Karen, but she adopts them back ya know?)

◇ No one else knows about this, Stan's a bit embarrassed by it but he finds it adorable that she's trying

◇ It makes him want to be better. So he works hard to keep a routine and a method.

◇ When he feels like he hates himself, he showers

◇ When he feels like he hates other people, he needs to eat

◇ When he feels withdrawal or if he's tired, he needs water.

◇ Has a special water bottle that Gary got him.

◇ Begs Kyle to go to the gym with him, he can't go alone he needs his buddy!

》 They end up making it a game. Who can push the other one to giving up.

》 Kyle does a certain number in a set, well Stan does one more. Stan runs for a certain amount of time on the treadmill, well Kyle runs faster and longer.

》 They pay for it in the morning but it's worth it

◇ Was the forever DM in his board game nights. He has all the D&D books, most of them are those special covered ones

◇ The local comic book store knows him well, and they save a book for him when they come out

◇ He still paints minis, for Christmas one year he got everyone's characters! Hand painted them and gave them out

》 He was so proud. And then Kenny lost his character the next session

》 Kenny's character is on the shelf near his books. Forever immortalized next to the players guide

◇ On days where everyone can't make it they play test a different system

◇ Wild Talents -> Superheros

◇ Deadlands -> Cowboys

◇ Traveler -> Sci-fi

◇ Red Market -> Zombie Apocalypse

◇ When Stan finally finishes his campaign and Kyle takes over, it takes him a minute to shift back into being a player! (I'm projecting)

◇ He has Wendy and Nichole over, of course! They can't make it all the time (Nichole has her own campaign that Stan's a part of and Wendy is a busy little lady), so they guest star!

◇ Gets together with Nichole and they plot ways to bully their players. (Rip Kenneth)

》 If people don't feel like playing TTRPGS he's got plenty of board games! (Honestly dude I can go on forever about this. I'm big time projecting, so I'm gonna end it here.)

◇ Stan loves his messenger bag, its got more patches in it then just the deftones on the side

◇ Collects band patches like a punk does for their jackets

◇ Anytime he goes to a local band gig he buys a patch (support local artists)

◇ Of course he has his guitar. Even if I didn't draw it!

◇ Cherry red guitar that he babies, he loves his guitar more then anything else he owns.

◇ Kyle got it for him when they both graduated high-school, it means the world to him

◇ His case for it has seen better days, most of the scratches are covered in stickers people have slapped on it.

◇ Honestly, he's got like one or two that he put on

◇ It's a game around the university: Get a Sticker on Marsh's Case

》 Craig's in the lead.

◇ Like Kyle does with Stan's inhaler. Stan carries insulin in his messenger bag for Kyle.

》 He knows Kyle doesn't pay attention to himself and lets his blood sugar drop so he also carries snacks

◇ The bright pink lighter and the lighter case was given to him by the guys, because that dummy always loses his lighter.

》 Every other day he's asking to borrow a lighter because he lost his

◇ Yet he knows where everyone of his guitar picks are, which is ridiculous

◇ Has a shit ton of them too, carries them in a little case!

◇ Stan will fist fight anyone who touches that brown journal, there's so much in there. (You know that feeling you get when someone asks to see your sketchbook? Yeah.)

◇ Lyrics for Crimson Dawn, poems that will never see the light of day, magic cards he uses as bookmarks,and campaign ideas

》 A few pages that have been ripped out and or burned out. Usually means he's had a bad day and needed to get it out

◇ The other thing he's protective of is his headphones, he's not sure why. There's nothing special about those white headphones. But they're his, and they got him through high-school.

◇ He was actually super happy about his Soul Synergy

◇ He already had a habit of doodling on his skin, so it was a surprise it manifested like this

◇ Kyle does get onto him about how often he marks on his skin. He orders Stan those Body Mark markers.

◇ When pictures or words show up on his skin it tickles, it's like he can feel the marker or pen

◇ That's the only part he hates, it tickles him and he's extremely ticklish (perish.)

◇ Doodles, lists, lyrics, and notes on things to do later. For some reason he's protective over all of them, and it makes him slightly sad when they go away.

It a few hours of sitting still, but it's finally done. Red takes a wipe and swipes it across his forearm, the moist wipe feels good against his skin. It's irritated from being poked over and over again, he can still feel the buzz of the needle.

The wipe reveals the jagged Soundwave tattoo stretching down his forearm. He smiles at it and almost goes to touch it, but stops himself. From the way his tattoo artist glares at him, he knows better.

He tries, he really does, to listen to Red as she goes through the steps on how to take care of it. But it's hard when he keeps staring at it, wondering if his little plan worked.

On the outside, it certainly seems narcissistic to get one's voice tattooed on one's self. But Stan could live with the whispers or the questions if it meant it was on the skin of his soulmate too. It wasn't anyone else's business what it was, that was between him and them.

After all Stan worked very hard to get that recording of him singing, You are my Sunshine, just right.

(Here's the blank if you want it ♡)

[toxicanonymity]

WE NEEEEEED NIGHTWALKS JOEL ABC’s 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Fair enough! 👖 A few are from the ones I did before.

NSFW 18+ Misc / x fem!reader / night walks master list

A = Aftercare - Takes a minute for his dirty talk to taper off.  . . He’ll say something about how bad you wanted it or how bad you want it.  

B = Body part - Obsessed with his own equipment.  Loves your whole body but the first thing he noticed about you was your ass and he can’t resist pressing himself into it whenever he sees you anywhere.  Also loves your thighs, can’t keep his hands off them.  

C = Cum - He doesn’t want a drop wasted.

D = Dirty secret - Peeping Tom.  

E = Experience - Very experienced.  Never had a girl as bad as you, though.  

F = Favorite position - Variety is the spice of life but he likes to be able to see how much you’re enjoying it.  

G = Goofy - No, no one is goofy lmao.  But he may tease you / rub it in about how much  you want his cock.  

H = Hair - Hair still mostly dark, not much gray down there.  Better groomed than you might expect - he's kinda vain.

I = Intimacy - There isn’t really a  romantic aspect.  He’s enraptured by your horniness for him. 

J = Jack off -  Used to do it on his porch while you walked around the block. Now sometimes does it in your backyard while he watches through the window.  Otherwise, he likes porn where the woman is super cock hungry.  Also cock worship.  Believe it or not he also likes porn with plot lmao.  Specifically, scenarios that involve strangers like repair men. He likes it because the woman is secretly so horny and all it took was the right man to activate her.  He HCed you that way as soon as he saw you, and he knew he could activate you. 

K = Kink - Voyeur, breeder.  You’ve had to start doing better at taking the pill.  If you’re starting to enjoy it, don’t let him know you’re on birth control.  

L = Location - Enjoys coming onto you and feeling you up in public.   Would be glad to take you anywhere and thought it was super hot the time he fucked you in the parking lot of the gas station, and went down on you in the bathroom of the restaurant.  But there’s also something about having you in his basement that really turns him on.  Reminds him of the first time after he tricked you there and you just couldn’t resist him.  

M = Motivation - He likes to make you desperate for his cock and he wants to hear how good you feel. He gets off on bringing out the naughtiest side of you. He can sense you have a bad, bad girl in there and it's his mission to tease it out. Likes to feel like an aggressor.  Likes control hence locking you in, restraining you, etc. Even if it's something you could escape from like an indoor lock.

N = No - Willingly pull out, or stop pursuing you. 

O = Oral - He’s good at it, he prefers to be inside you but definitely wouldn’t mind being blown.  

P = Pace - Starts slow, pays attention to how your body responds, adjusts accordingly, often getting faster/harder.  

Q = Quickie - Definitely in favor especially if he’s seducing you into doing it somewhere risky. 

R = Risk - Definitely gets off on getting away with stuff, so yeah.  He’s super confident. 

S = Stamina - He can last if he wants, and if you want, but is usually eager to come.   His recovery period is like 15-20 minutes aside from extenuating circumstances where he might be able to go sooner.  But otherwise plenty of time for a smoke or drink in between. 

T = Toys - Doesn’t own any but likes to watch you use yours and would enjoy using yours on you.  

U = Unfair - He’s not much of a tease, but he loves to hear how bad you want his cock so he might try to draw it out of you.  

V = Volume - Grunts, groans, talks dirty.  Intimate volume but not a whisper.  

W = Wild card - Wears PJ pants all the time and he just gets away with it . He has a bunch of different ones, too.  

X = 19 cm (7.5") base to tip erect, and on the girthier end of average.  Just barely curved upward for your pleasure. He's a shower not a grower.  Tan, smooth.  Huge balls.

Y = Yearning - Extremely high, can’t get enough of you.  

Z = Zzz - Pretty fast if you're in his sketch ass basement

-

joel master list

-

NW: @tehweeana@lokanda@blackvelveteen1339@cutesyscreenname@ele-meno-p lmk if i missed you

All joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @ele-meno-p

[dogwittaablog]

PART 2: NOLPATS BURNER ACCOUNT

Link to part 1: (X)

*Bare with me for some spelling grammar errors, also if you have more info or have picked up something I've missed feel free to let me know.*

HERE WE GO AGAIN FOLKS!

So obviously it’s been quite an event for nolpat nation these past couple days… and it’s very evident people are aware of the burners and have been following or interacting with it.

If you aren’t aware @ gollpatter is the first acocunt that was inactive for a bit before it was suspended/locked, and then @ shottergallas was the secondary account…

So after I guess by the saving grace of god??? He ended up regaining access back to his first account that had more of the the problematic tweets, likes and questionable followings.

This was his first tweet he posted after being back on the account… which also is now deleted. #lolz

WHAT DOES PAT OLIVERIA MEAN?

Okay so obviously his name is Pat Oliveria on his main and some are probably confused or thrown off by it. My assumption to the name is... obviously ''Pat'' is part of his last name and well-known nickname and ''Oliveria'' was most likely taken from the Brazalian MMA fighter Charles Oliveria... and we all know how much he loves MMA.

ACCOUNT PRIVATING

The account actually went private for a moment and then went public again… then also decided to unfollow a specific group of people *cough* all the obvious friends and some influencers.

Pretty much any tweet that people would interact with the account would get deleted. Which I think most of us have already witnessed.

Here is some other tweets that have now been deleted. (X).

MUTUAL BURNER ACCOUNTS

After this all went down some of his mutuals went private (some have unprivated now) and even one deleted.

A notable mutual user that deleted is (@ basket_458462). I think not many people saw what went on, on that account… since It deleted pretty much after 1-2 days after the burners were under fire… you thought anything was bad on the NP burners, this one was 10x worst lol. NP off (@ gollpatter) liked a good amount of tweets off there page, pre much all pertaining to WJC 2018, and weren’t the greatest takes either. The Basket 4 page was pretty active interacting with stan twitter.

Though literally all those mutual burners hold very debatable content and most of it? Well you guessed it! It’s all pretty much red pill, zyn bro misogyny.

The Basket 4 account was just a different breed and every tweet or like was constantly victim shaming and blaming the girl involved in the WJC 2018 incident. Probably explains the profile picture too… yikes.

Just thought it was funny how some decided to go private or delete, which shows to me they’re aware of what’s going on.

NOW ONTO THE SUSPICIOUS? OR JUST COINCEDENTAL INSTAGRAM ACTIVITY?

!!!!!!!! I WILL BE MENTIONING HIS PRIVATE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT PLEASE DO NOT BE THAT PERSON AND TRY TO FOLLOW OR INTERACT WITH IT !!!!!!!!

Maybe a big coincidence but NP started unfollowing people off his main ig account just about a day after shit hit the fan, though this is pretty common for him to randomly do mass unfollowings just found the timing to be ironic.

If some of you were aware he has a private finsta account. He had the username that went by @ gollasperoutdoors and then changed it to @ youngglasp. You're able to see how many times the user changed their user and how long they had the account for, the username was changed 5 times throughout the past 4 years. He changed the username to the account about 2 days ago... he's most likely had the user (@ gollasperoutdoors) for a hot minute as well… don't know why he decided to change it now... also changing the clearly evident nickname of his to just “glasp”.

I also kind of have a theory that one of his finsta account usernames at a point in time was probably @ gollpatter (the same as his twitter)… You aren't able to view their old users, but I just thought about it since it's been changed multiple times... though impossible to prove because most of us probably don't remember his older finsta users or even knew he had one to begin with.

NOW WHY HASN'T THE ACCOUNT DELETED? WHY HASN'T IT BLOCKED ANYONE? WHY HASN'T IT TWEETED IN DAYS?

It’s pretty obvious and simple to why the account has done none of those things and is limiting/stopping activity.

If the accounts started blocking evident hockey stan twitter accounts or accounts that interacted with them, deleted high volume of tweets especially the problematic ones, went private or deactivated. It would fully be more evident that we are most likely right on our assumption on who’s running it and that they’re fully aware on what’s happening LOL.

Also probably another reason why the account unprivated so quickly + tweeted a bit even after getting called out is because whoever is running it most likely wanted to play it off… Even tho the deleting of directed tweets + unfollowing specific known friends and influencers and other activity was already enough for most to throw the guilty charge.

To tie things up I don't think the accounts will delete anytime soon or even at all and will just slowly be abandoned. I guess the one smart move on his part was that the account wasn't under his actual name and there isn't a definitive way to prove its him unless you know details about him, so it's not clockable to the general public. (Shout out to the anons for this part!).

[uvobreakmylegs]

With Greatest Care

Paku my queen❤️

Warnings: manipulation, isolation, mentions of death, brief mention of gore

Word count: 6.4k

A splitting headache in your skull was the first thing you were aware of when you awoke that morning, originating from your forehead and pulsating through your head. When you realized what was happening you groaned and buried your face into your pillow, like that would help in the slightest. This scenario wasn't uncommon, unfortunately.

Although it hadn't been happening quite as often recently, not even a year ago you were waking up to these sorts of migraines almost every other day. It usually meant that you needed to stay in bed for most of the morning as moving around too much would make you feel sick to your stomach and only make your miserable state even worse. As you had been through this many times by now, you knew that having a few painkillers and taking it slow in the morning, you’d be feeling better by afternoon at the latest.

But knowing that this would last for a few hours didn't make you feel any better in that moment. Especially since you and your girlfriend had plans today.

“Paku,” you moaned weakly, “I'm not feeling too....”

You trailed off as you pulled up from the pillow and found the spot next to you on the bed to be empty. Pakunoda was already up. You should have expected that. She got up early in general and would usually let you sleep in to a certain point.

You weren't excited to tell her about this. It brought back memories of when this had started, when you were only a few months into the relationship. So many days where you had woken up feeling like hell and poor Paku ended up being more like a caretaker than a girlfriend, and it made you feel bad that she would work so hard to take care of you and you weren't able to do anything in return.

As much as you felt you should get up so you could tell Paku about your condition, you stopped yourself. The last time this had happened and you went to tell her, you ended up getting up too fast and threw up on the sheets. Pakunoda needed to clean it up and you had never felt more like a burden than you did in that moment.

And as you checked the time, it was getting close to when Paku would come in and get you up if you hadn't done so yourself by then. Better to just wait for her to check on you instead of possibly making another mess that she'd be forced to take care of.

Just as expected, a few minutes went by and you heard the turn of the knob, the bedroom door swinging open and Paku saying your name as she checked if you were awake.

One glance over to her was all she needed to know what was going on.

“Oh no,” she said, “is it happening again?”

You weakly nodded.

“I'm sorry,” you said.

“Why are you apologizing?” Pakunoda asked.

She left the doorway, crossing over to the bed so she could sit next to you. Her hand went to your head and she began to stroke your hair.

“You can't help that you aren't well,” she added, “you'll get through this just like all the other times.”

“I hope so.”

Her hand was still on your head, still petting you. It didn't help with the headache in the slightest, but it helped to make you feel a little bit better.

“I feel like you end up taking care of me a lot,” you said.

“Well, that's part of the deal, isn't it? You don't feel well, so I take care of you. You'd do the same if I was in your position, right?”

“Yeah, but I've never seen you get sick or anything. I think you're the healthiest person I've ever met.”

“You make that sound like a bad thing,” said Paku.

“Because I feel bad that you're the one always taking care of me and I never do anything in return.”

Paku laughed a little at that.

“Now you're just being silly,” she said.

The hand stroking your hair stopped so she could rest it on your shoulder as she continued with “I'll get you a glass of water and some pain pills, and after that how about we see if you can stomach some breakfast.”

You nodded.

After giving you the pills that you washed down quickly, Pakunoda left the bedroom so she could whip up some breakfast for you.

You were able to eat half of it, and after that Paku insisted that you stay in bed and rest up.

Same as usual.

Not long after she left the bedroom, you noted that you could hear her voice. Was she talking to someone on the phone? That seemed most likely as you didn't hear any other voice aside from hers.

…. Was she complaining about you to someone?

You immediately wanted to slap yourself for thinking that. Paku wasn't like that. You knew that she cared about you and she wouldn't have stayed with you through everything if that wasn't the case.

Other people had talked about you behind your back. But Pakunoda wasn't like them.

Waiting for the painkillers to kick in, you tried to do as Paku had said and get some rest, but it would probably take a while before the aching in your head subsided enough to allow you to sleep. Until then, you were left to stare at the ceiling while you heard the sounds of movement coming from the other parts of the house.

Hearing Paku taking care of things around the house while you lay in bed brought back those feelings of uselessness. No, you couldn't help that you were sick, but no matter how much that point was brought up, you still felt badly for it.

And what made it worse was that you were planning on doing something with Paku today.

A cute looking restaurant had opened in the area recently, and after looking over their menu and the positive reviews, you wanted to take Paku there with you for a date, which she had happily agreed to. She had also made a request that the two of you stop by a makeup shop that she liked so she could get new lipstick, and since the makeup shop was close by to the new restaurant, it seemed like a good plan. The two of you were going to go out, get lunch, go look at makeup, possibly do a little more shopping and maybe get dessert after.

You'd been looking forward to that.

But now you were sick, so it was canceled.

And it once again reminded you of the things that had happened when you first started getting sick like this; a lot of canceled dates and days spent at home. Sometimes the two of you would watch movies or tv shows together if your headache was a bit more mild, usually resting your head on Paku's lap while you watched the screen. Little things like that made those days better, but you hated how sickly it made you feel.

Paku was so good to you, and all you'd been during that time was useless and sickly.

Please please please don't let that start again

Pakunoda got a sense of how you were feeling when she reentered the room to check on you, as she found you looking up at the ceiling with a depressed look on your face. She frowned when she saw you like that.

You looked over to her when she joined you on the bed, laying down next to you.

“Don't be so sad,” she told you, “we can go on our date another day.”

“It's not that – well, not just that.”

Pakunoda stayed quiet as you continued.

“I'm just scared it'll start up again,” you said, “I don't want to be in pain in the morning for no reason and spend hours at the hospital only to have the doctors tell me that it's 'probably' just stress.”

“That won't happen,” she reassured you, “this is just a one-off thing.”

“You're sure?” you asked.

“Positive.”

She reached over to pet your hair, her fingers going through the strands as she caressed you.

“.... Are you okay?” you asked.

Paku brushed some of the hair out of your face, her fingertips on your forehead as she replied with “what makes you ask?”

“You seem a bit sad,” you answered.

The edges of her lips turned upward in a small smile as she said “I don't think anyone can be all that happy when someone they care about isn't feeling well.”

“I need to hurry and get better, then,” you said, “I don't like it when you're sad.”

She chuckled a little before saying “just don't push yourself.”

Pakunoda moved in closer so she could wrap an arm around you, kissing your forehead before she told you to rest up. When exactly you fell back into sleep, you weren't sure, but you remembered that she was still laying next to you when you did.

A light shaking of your shoulder and a voice that softly called your name brought you out of sleep, and you found Pakunoda standing over you and dressed like she was going to go out.

“Something unexpected came up and I need to take care of some things. Will you be okay if I leave?” she asked.

You nodded.

“I'll be fine. Go do what you need to.”

“Alright. But before I leave, I want you to promise me something.”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me that you won't do anything stupid while I'm gone.”

“... What exactly counts as stupid in this situation?” you asked.

“Getting up and walking around when you're still feeling nauseous,” said Paku, “if you don't feel well, then I want you to take it easy. And definitely don't go outside.”

“I don't think I'm that sick, Paku,” you said.

“Do I need to remind you what happened last time?”

“.... No.”

“Then just promise that you won't push yourself and that you'll stay in.”

“Okay. I promise.”

Pakunoda smiled once you said that, and leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead.

“I'll be back.”

You said your goodbyes as Paku left the bedroom, and a short while later you heard as she left through the front door, the lock clicking shut after her.

Your migraine didn't feel quite as intense as it had when you first woke up, but you were still very far from feeling like you were okay. Doing as Paku had said, you put your focus on getting rest in the hopes that the migraine would go away while you slept.

Do as Paku told you and take it easy so you can get better.

And pray to whatever god might be listening that the trend of having almost daily migraines doesn't start up again. You hoped that Paku was right in it being a one-off thing.

Despite how easy it was to lose yourself in your worries, you did get back to sleep for a bit, periodically waking up for brief moments while the pain in your head slowly lessened.

All you really remembered in those moments was that Paku didn't seem to be back yet, still out doing whatever errand of hers had popped up while you were still alone. After realizing that, you would drift off again, not taking note of anything else.

Except one thing.

In the midst of your dozing, you were vaguely aware of the doorbell ringing, and after a moment of silence, someone knocking at the door. Whoever was at the door definitely tried more than once to get someone to come open it, but you couldn't say how long it lasted before they gave up. With the haze that your mind was in during that instance, you were able to do little else besides acknowledge the fact that someone had rung the doorbell before you ended up drifting back into a longer and deeper sleep.

It was late afternoon when you woke up, judging by the color of the sky that you could see through the window.

You felt a lot better. The pain in your head was gone, and though you felt a bit dizzy when you sat up, other than that you were fine.

Figuring that it was probably safe for you to do, you got out of bed and headed to the kitchen just to stretch your legs as well as grab a glass of water. Pakunoda likely would've wanted you to stay in bed a bit longer if she was here. You remembered the promise you'd made, that you wouldn't push yourself. And you weren't. While you were moving at a slower pace, you still felt okay, so there was no way to say that this was you pushing yourself.

After setting the glass down, you walked about the house a bit, eager to move about after spending such a long time laying down. As you walked, you wondered when Paku would be back. Did she say what time it would be? …. No, she just said she'd be back. It felt safe to assume that she'd be back before evening, so most likely at some point soon. Unless something else came up, in which case you needed to check your phone in case you had any messages.

You were about to head back to the bedroom when you glanced at the front door as you passed by, and you remembered that moment when you'd been in bed and you thought you heard the doorbell. Had that actually happened, or did you just imagine it? Tough to say, but now you were distracted from your goal of getting your phone from the bedroom as you went for the door, curious to see if there was any sign of someone having been there earlier.

If someone really had been there, you couldn't tell, as when you opened the door just enough to poke your head out, the front steps that lead to the walkway looked just as they normally did.

Seeing that wasn't surprising in the slightest, and you weren't sure what exactly you'd been expecting.

You were going to shut the door and head back to the bedroom when you caught sight of one of your neighbors across the way heading out to his mailbox. When he pulled out a stack of letters, you looked to the one in front of your house. Paku hadn't gone out too early, but it seemed unlikely that the mail had been delivered before she left. The mail carrier had recently been delivering a lot later in the day than you were used to.

You found yourself going back into the bedroom, grabbing a hoodie and a long pair of pants so you didn't look as much of a mess when you went outside. It wasn't like you ever got anything too important in the mail aside from bills, the rest of it usually being junkmail. But you were feeling a lot better, and although it was minor, grabbing the mail was something you could do so Pakunoda had at least one less thing to worry about.

The fresh air was nice, you noted when you first stepped out, and although you walked a bit slower than you normally did, you managed to make it down to the mailbox without issue. As expected, all you found was junkmail, and as you closed the box back up, you looked at your surroundings briefly. The only person you could see was a man on the other side of the street who was getting out of a parked car; not a guy you knew, so presumably a guest of one of your neighbors. And as for them, none of your neighbors seemed to be out at the moment. Probably a good thing; you didn't know that you were in the mood for a conversation at the moment.

With your goal accomplished and nothing to keep you outside, you made your way back to the front door.

“Have you had time to think about what I told you?”

A man's voice called out from behind you, and instinct had you turning around. The man from the car was now approaching you. He was older, maybe in his fifties, if you were to guess. The unkempt beard was what stood out most about him, but as you looked closer at the suit he was wearing seemed a bit ratty. The color of the suit wasn't too appealing either.

Although considering the messy state of your hair and the fact that you were the one wearing a hoodie and a loose pair of pants over your sleeping clothes, you probably didn't have much of a leg to stand on when it came to judging other people's appearances.

He stopped when he reached you, and gave you a pointed look as he asked “well?”

… What?

“.... I'm sorry?” you asked, your confusion evident.

“What we talked about yesterday; have you thought on it?” he asked.

“Talked yesterday?” you repeated, even more confused as you continued with “sir, I've never spoken to you before.”

Now he was the one who looked confused.

“You're kidding me, right? We spoke for half an hour yesterday,” he said.

What?

“No.... No we didn't,” you said, shaking your head.

“We did,” he insisted. His eyebrows were furrowed, like he was starting to get frustrated.

Did you have the strength to be able to run back into the house if this guy got mad enough at you? And were you jumping way too far ahead and assuming the absolute worst about this guy? Maybe, but seeing as you'd never seen him before and didn't know anything about him, it might be better to err on the side of caution. You didn't want to end up injured or worse because you stupidly thought that some stranger wasn't a threat to you.

“I really don't think we did,” you replied, taking a small step back.

“I told you, we spoke for half an hour,” he said, taking a step forward as he continued “we talked about your girlfriend and the lies she's fed you. We also talked about how your family wants to see you again. They're going sick with worry over you and all they want is for you to come back home.”

You went quiet after he said that, things falling into place in your mind once he mentioned your family.

“.... Did they hire you to come here?” you asked.

“That's not important.”

“That's a 'yes',” you said, sighing after.

So this was what they were resorting to now, huh?

After a moment, you answered firmly “my family doesn't care about me. They haven't cared for a long time, and I doubt that's changed.”

“Goddammit, you said the same thing yesterday,” he said, “they're paying me to find you because they want you to come back! I told you, they're worried about you.”

“No, they're not. Those people aren't capable of compassion; all they do is use others. So if they want me back, all it means is that they want something from me,” you said, “and whatever it is that they want me for, I don't want any part of it. So go back and tell them to stop wasting their time. I don't need them and I don't want to see any of them again.”

He was looking at you in disbelief now.

“You said the same thing yesterday,” he said.

“I didn't speak to you yesterday,” you reiterated.

“You did,” he insisted.

Then he added “your family was right; the amount of control she has over you is terrifying.”

The implication that Paku was controlling you made you upset as you replied with a defensive “Pakunoda isn't controlling me. She hasn't done anything except give me a happier life.”

He scoffed then.

“That bitch really has you wrapped around her finger, huh.”

Anger swelled in your chest upon hearing him talk about Paku in that way.

You'd had enough.

“Leave,” you said.

“Let me show you something.”

“Whatever it is I don't want to see it. Go away.”

“So you're not even going to think about what I've said?”

“What's there to think about? You've harassed me, admitted to being paid by my asshole family to hunt me down, and now you've insulted my girlfriend. Say what you want about me, but don't talk about Paku like that,” you said.

“Just look at-”

“No! Get the fuck away from here and don't come back. I don't want to see you ever again,” you spat.

You turned and headed back to the house, ignoring everything else he said while he called for you to hear him out, locking the door after yourself before you leaned back against it, trying to steady your breathing and calm down.

Emotions were building in you with a strong desire to punch something in an effort to vent out some of your feelings.

Of all the things they were resorting to now, this? Hiring someone to find you? So what, you could go back to the unhappy life you'd had with them?

No doubt that guy had his head filled with stories about Paku that your family had told him, making her out to be some terrible person who was manipulating you. That was what they'd tried to make you believe, and had been a major factor in you cutting them off. That, and a pile of resentment over the years that had been building up slowly before the dam finally broke.

You weren't going back to them.

Placing the mail on a small table next to the door, you found that you felt incredibly tired again as the adrenaline from the encounter began to wear down. Although you had been feeling better, getting worked up like that hadn't done you any favors.

Once more making your way to the bedroom, you collapsed on the bed, managing to pull the sheets over yourself before you closed your eyes again.

She wasn't happy with you.

You could tell when you woke up next and found Pakunoda in the bedroom with you, frowning when she saw that you were awake. Once you saw that look on her face, you immediately felt guilt wash over you.

“You told me you would stay in bed,” she said, holding the junkmail you had collected earlier, proof that you had been up and about. It was clear that she was disappointed with you.

“I'm sorry,” you began, “I wasn't feeling as bad so I wanted to help out a little.”

“I understand that, but you also promised me that you wouldn't go out.”

….. Ah. That had been something she'd told you. And you had promised that you wouldn't do that.

You really managed to forget that?

“I'm sorry, Paku,” you said. You stayed quiet after, worried that if you said anything else it'd come off like you were trying to make excuses.

After a moment, she let out a soft sigh.

“I don't have it in me to stay upset with you,” she said, placing the mail on the end table as she continued with “at least nothing happened.”

The second she said that, you remembered the incident with the man from earlier. Seeing Paku being disappointed in you had caused you to not think of it immediately, but now that you had, you felt yourself tensing up.

You needed to tell her.

Pakunoda clearly noticed your reaction as she asked “what's wrong?”

“..... My family hired a guy to hunt me down and take me back to them,” you said.

She blinked at that.

It probably wasn't the best move to just blurt it out like that, and you explained “he came here and spoke to me when I was outside. I think he was trying to make me leave with him.”

“He was saying awful things about you,” you added.

Pakunoda looked even more unhappy than she had been when you first woke up, frowning as she sat down next to you and took your hand in hers.

“Start from the beginning. What happened?” she asked. Her voice was calm, and the feeling of her hand holding yours made you feel a little bit better.

“I went out to get the mail,” you began, “and when I was going back inside he came up to me. And – it was weird. He was acting like we'd talked before. He even said that we'd spoken to each other yesterday. But that didn't happen, and I told him that it didn't happen, but he kept saying that we did. Then he mentioned my family.”

“He admitted that your family had hired him?” Paku asked.

“Yeah. At first he said that it wasn't important, but he did eventually admit it,” you answered, “but he kept going on about how we had spoken yesterday, but I stopped talking to him when he insulted you. I told him not to come back but if he's being paid to harass us, I kinda doubt he'll listen to me.”

A terrifying thought came to mind, and you squeezed her hand as you asked “do you think he's a Hunter? If he is, he can get away with taking people by force, right? What if he takes me when you go out again? If that happens, what can-”

Pakunoda shushed you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as she held you close.

“If he was a Hunter, I don't think he would've bothered speaking with you first,” she began, “based off what you've said, it sounds like he's some sort of private investigator and he was trying to make you go back willingly. The amount of trouble he'd get into for kidnapping someone wouldn't be worth it, so don't worry about that.”

You nodded. As usual, she was much better at keeping a clear head on her shoulders.

“As for your family, while this is new for them, I can't say it's entirely unexpected,” she continued, “all we can do about them is hope they give up on you eventually.”

“.... Do you think he's told them where we live?” you asked.

“Possibly,” Paku said, “but the good thing about being in a completely different country is that it won't be so easy for them to show up unexpectedly. Not without spending a lot of jenny on air travel.”

“Yeah. But still, maybe we should think about moving in case they do decide to come here,” you said, “I don't want to see them screaming at you again.”

“I know. And I don't want them anywhere near you.”

She pulled away slightly, putting both of her hands on your upper arms and squeezing lightly to calm you further.

Paku continued with “we don't need to go with the nuclear option right away. We can keep an eye out for anyone who looks like they're watching us and deal with them if we run into them. And if your family does show up, they can't make you go back with them. You're allowed to make your own decisions. They can't make you do anything.”

Then she kissed you before she hugged you, saying “everything will be okay.”

Despite how uncertain you felt in that moment, you nodded as you hugged her back. The idea of possibly being confronted by them again was scary, but at least you knew Paku would be with you if that were to happen.

“I really am sorry, Paku,” you said after a moment, “I hate being a burden on you.”

“You aren't.”

Pakunoda pulled away, cupping your cheek with her hand as she smiled at you.

“Everything will be fine,” she said, “and we'll always be together, right?”

You smiled back as you said “right.”

Paku glanced over to the largely darkened skies that were visible through the bedroom windows.

“We should start on dinner. You haven't had anything to eat since this morning, right?” she asked.

The instant she mentioned that, you felt the emptiness in your stomach and you nodded.

“Should I still stay in here?” you asked.

“I don't see much point in that if you're feeling well enough to walk around,” she answered, “might as well have you keep me company while I make us something.”

With that, she led you off the bed and out of the room, holding your hand as the two of you made your way to the kitchen.

And when she sat you down at the table and she saw the way you smiled up at her, Pakunoda felt secure.

There was no need to use Memory Bomb on you today.

As she began to put dinner together, she released the memories she'd collected of what you'd told her, letting go of the conversation you'd had with the investigator instead of putting them into one of her bullets to shoot into your head.

She'd needed to do it yesterday to get rid of everything that the investigator had told you, causing you to awake with a headache that morning.

Just like you, she also hoped that pattern wouldn't start up again.

It had begun early on in your relationship, when Pakunoda had quickly seen how suspicious your family was of her and how they were trying to subtly push you towards breaking up with her out of fear for your safety that she had decided to take action. Pakunoda had decided that she didn't want to lose you, so when she was able to convince you to move in with her, she began the process of altering and removing your memories of your family.

She made a point to take her time with it, carefully sifting through every memory of yours before she would return it to you by way of a bullet, which caused you to forget the memories that had been returned intact and replaced by the ones she'd fabricated. To make you more reliant on her and more willing to cut off your family, she'd gotten rid of almost all of your happy memories with them and altering the negative ones so they were even more egregious in your mind; things that to you, were unforgivable, and that the only reason you were still in contact was because of familial obligation.

The whole process took a period of several months as she worked her way through your memories. And while the amount of time spent hadn't been ideal, it was far safer than to try and change all of the memories in your head at once. Doing that could have disastrous consequences if she messed up.

She knew from experience: Pakunoda had done an experiment once to see how much of a person's memory she could take, and how much she could destroy by sending those memories back into that person. Back when she'd just gotten to the point of perfecting her hatsu, she'd captured a man and tied him up while she interrogated him on every aspect of his life, getting every single detail she could.

Those memories were placed into a bullet with the use of Memory Bomb. Much to her surprise, the multiple years worth of memories were able to fit into a single bullet. When she fired that bullet into his skull, the shock of the impact was so great that the chair he was sitting in was forced backwards, causing him to fall.

There wasn't much left of him when she pulled him back up into a sitting position.

He barely remembered how to speak.

And when she released him into a nearby forest, he stumbled about, confused and not understanding his situation at all.

Before she'd taken his memories, he was someone with an expertise in the wildlife of the area, his memories telling her that he'd gone there to study a herd of carnivorous pigs. But he shambled his way past a pile of animal bones that had been cleaned of all meat, and his cries accompanied by the sounds of tearing flesh and breaking bones that she heard not long after were a clear indicator of what his fate ultimately was.

Pakunoda didn't want you to become like him as a result of her ability; she wanted you for you, not a husk that looked like you.

So a few times each week she would remove something, change a little bit, and then return it to you when she shot you. You would forget what she had left intact and only remember what she had changed. A side effect of this was the awful headaches you had when you came to in the morning that left you barely able to sit up. That had been a bit unexpected as none of the troupe had ever mentioned such a thing when she'd used her ability on them, but she welcomed it as it was something she could use to her advantage. Taking care of you without complaint, Pakunoda got you to fall in love with her even further.

Which in turn caused you to push your family further away.

At the end of it you were more than happy to move away with her and you cut ties with your family completely, something that would've been hard to convince you of near the beginning, but by that point you trusted her without question, and all you wanted was to live with her someplace where the two of you could be happy.

That had come under jeopardy yesterday.

She didn't anticipate that your family would give up on you, but after the efforts she'd made to cover her tracks, it was a bit annoying to have a private investigator manage to track you down.

And even worse, he'd managed to get you to question yourself as he'd shown you something that had confused you: a picture of you with your family at a graduation, something that had seemed far too detailed to have been fabricated, and it showed all of you smiling on what was clearly a happy day.

In your memory they hadn't bothered to show up.

Pakunoda had known immediately that something was wrong when she saw you after that meeting, and when she brushed a hand against your cheek as she asked you what was wrong, your mouth gave one answer while your memories gave her another. You lied to her, and she saw that not only were you questioning things, but you were considering talking again to the investigator.

Without hesitation she'd pulled out her gun and fired it at you, wiping your memories of that afternoon and catching you before you fell.

Today her plan had been to get rid of that man while you stayed at home to recover, having gotten the investigator's name after she called Shalnark to check what accounts your family was transferring money to. It was easy to find out where in the area he was staying at after checking his credit card history.

Take care of him while you slept so there was no chance of you running into him again; that was what Pakunoda had been hoping for. But instead of the investigator giving you a few days to think over what you'd seen like he told you he was going to do, he ended up going back to the house she shared with you. Something she had learned when she caught him on his way back to his motel room.

His tenacity had been frustrating, and after looking through the conversation you'd had from his perspective, she anticipated that she would once again need to remove your memories of that afternoon.

This time, however, you weren't as receptive to him. Clearly because of his insistence that the two of you had spoken prior. And when she looked through your mind as she asked her questions, she saw that there weren't any doubts in you: you trusted her and her alone.

No need to use her hatsu on you.

It was actually a relief to not do so. Even though you would quickly forget, she always remembered the sight of your shocked face every time she had placed the barrel of her revolver against your forehead: confusion, fear and sadness taking over you as all you knew in that moment was that your girlfriend was holding a gun to your head.

Tonight could be a peaceful one, and tomorrow there would be no need for you to awake with any awful migraine.

No need to fear the investigator coming back, either, as his body would likely be on the way to a garbage dump by now, and Shalnark had said he would take over his identity for a bit so it appeared that he was still alive so your family would be pointed in a different direction as to where you were currently living.

Even if the man's body resurfaced, most of the identifying features had been destroyed, so it was unlikely that anyone who found him would be able to give him his name back. Just another John Doe in a sea of unidentified bodies.

Pakunoda glanced from the cutting board to find that you were watching her.

You smiled when you made eye contact, and you asked “did everything go okay with the stuff you needed to take care of?”

“Yes. Everything's fine now,” she answered.

“Was it something that would've been bad?”

“If it had been left the way it was.”

You hummed, saying “I'm guessing it's work related since you're being pretty vague.”

Paku smiled at you, which seemed to confirm your suspicions.

“I won't ask anymore, then,” you said, “I'm glad it all worked out.”

“So am I.”

As she focused again on what she was doing, Pakunoda's mind went back to the investigator.

At the moment she was letting you keep those memories of him as it was a good way to reaffirm that you shouldn't have contact with your family, as everything he'd said to you this time had upset you greatly.

But if his body did resurface and your suspicions were somehow raised again, she'd remove them. While it took a physical toll on you, it was worth it to keep things peaceful.

She'd keep an eye out for now, and if something changed, she would know.

After all, there wasn't a single thought that went through your head that Pakunoda wasn't aware of.

[becausesomething]

Chapter 1 - Teasing

warning: nsfw, masturbation, kid relationship with you being part of the crew as you being the only women, swearing

Kid POV

I hear moans coming from the room, I know I shouldn't but curiosity and lust speak louder. I carefully open the door, leaving it just a little open to being able to complete that view of the heavens.

With one hand she squeezes one of her breasts, and with the other she explores her intimacy, penetrating herself with two fingers that she alternates with a third. It was possible to hear how wet she was, and as if that were not enough when she seemed to feel a wave of adrenaline coming on, she stopped and savored it. 

She focused again on her intimacy, but this time she passed her fingers across her lips, trembling until she reached her clitoris and focused on a rubbing movement. Her white body, with curves that shone with the soft light that entered the room, made her even more desirable.

That scene made my member tremble and grow, becoming uncomfortable. I try to adjust myself, but I accidentally lose my balance and end up opening the door further, only to be discovered.

Get out Kid! -She throws herself on the floor to hide her naked body and tries to hide her embarrassment.

It seems like I arrived at the right time, surely you don't want help finishing it, princess? - In that split second, my eyes absorbed the contrast of the black lingerie that accentuated the curves of that slender body.

I have complete confidence that my friends in the drawer would do a better job. - Still on the floor, she pulls the blanket over the bed and wraps herself in it, showing her tongue to me.

Only now that I've caught her off guard, I notice the confusion on the side of the wardrobe. A contrast to the part compared to the desk and book shelf on the other side of the room, where she had mangas pilled up in a corner. A place where it was rare for anyone from the crew to be amazed as it was in a more hidden section of the ship.

She gets up and comes towards me, staring into my eyes. Her eyes were frustrated and filled with anger.

What the hell do you want Eutass? Or are you going to stand there as if they defeated you?! -Her expression becomes colourless and wrinkles begin to form on her forehead and a mischievous smile forms on the corner of her lips. 

She tries to respond, but her answers always went by without affecting me, leaving a visible disappointment in her eyes.

Heat got into a fight in the forest with some animal and is covered in injuries. Killer has already taken him to the infirmary. - I try to control myself, so as not to grab her and give her an experience of the pleasure that is accumulated inside me.She rolls her eyes and starts pushing me out of the room. - How many times do I have to say that I never took on the role of crew doctor, why does everyone expect me to solve problems? 5 minutes and I'm gone. – And close the door in my face.

It was so funny to see her frustrated, I couldn't contain my satisfaction at getting her out of it, and especially at catching her in an embarrassing situation. Now, I finally had something I could use to my advantage. 

I return to the deck lost in my thoughts. My mind hadn't stopped spinning around her for months, which left me frustrated and I ended up diving even deeper into darkness and meaningless fights to distract myself. Since when did I start looking at her beyond being a companion and a subordinate?

I lie against the pole looking at the sky. She could go unnoticed and avoid being looked at, but the small gestures and changes were catching my attention and desire, especially in the last few weeks.

Eriss POV

scht. damn it! - in a sigh of having lost my peace and anger due to lack of respect, I send the blanket to the bed and start to get dressed. I pick up my glasses from my desk and start pulling my hair into a ponytail as I walk into the infirmary.

"An idiot taking care of another idiot." I hold my hand to my head looking at Killer with bandages on his hand trying to stop Heat's wounds from bleeding.

Helmet head, what do you think you're doing? - I just see him raising his hands in the air, confused and his body shaking.

Blood, everywhere, is... - he doesn't finish the sentence and passes out, falling to the ground.

How was it possible for the reaper to have no mercy on enemies but faint at the sight of his companion's blood?

Heat starts laughing at the table, which causes him to lose even more blood. I punch him and he gives me a puppy look and lets me take care of his wounds.

How many times will I have to scold you to stop challenging animals instead of hunting them? - I scold him with my eyes and tighten one of the bandages under the deepest wound. He lets out a snarl and looks away from me in regret.

I finish the bandages and start to pack everything when I see him get up from the table and almost fall to the floor if I hadn't been quicker and caught him. 

- Did someone tell you to get up on your own? Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me? Sorry, I just didn't want to be more work. I have a perfect understanding of how hardworking we are. - I help him sit on the bed. 

- And Killer? He may well get up on his own, as he woke up again to the smell of alcohol I dropped on him. - he sits down, leans on his knees and looks at me with a confused expression.

I roll my eyes without the patience to respond to the obvious of just doing that to provoke me, and I'm going to finish cleaning up the mess that those two created in the infirmary.

As soon as you feel more energetic, go eat something, don't forget that we have business tonight. - I take off my ponytail, which falls halfway down my shoulders, filling the room with the feeling of the peach fragrance of my perfume.

I go outside to get some fresh air when I see him sleeping against the pole. The breeze made he's spiky red hair move, he's glasses were in his hand, leaving the serene features contrasting with that sly smile. The fur coat had fallen off his shoulders, leaving his upper part completely uncovered. Broad shoulders, defined chest and that line going down to the hips that made me dream when I was alone. Despite his tempestuous personality and short fuse, his boldness only showed on the outside. The insides were...

I feel myself being pulled by something metallic that wraps around my waist and I fall on top of it, directly into his lap.

So tigress, ready for tonight? - he smiles as he runs his fingers through the length of my hair and one of his arms wraps around my waist.

You red lizard, how many times have I told you to pull me just because, and especially to knock on the door?! - I start to hit his shoulders, in an attempt to get up but he only pulls me closer. 

Our faces are close, I smell the cinnamon he emanates and his lips sigh against mine. Instinct electrifies us to kiss, but he soon turns me around and puts me next to him. And that's a good thing because I was seconds away from sighing his name.

Since we met, this interaction has always happened, but lately, it was no longer just a joke, there started to be a certain tension between our bodies, at least mine. Kid always joked or said lewd jokes because he knew how much it upset me due to my delay and out-of-context responses.

It's so funny to see you blush and feel uncomfortable. -he pulls me to rest my head on his shoulder - you are the youngest and most intelligent girl who makes my day. Exactly, I was just his subordinate and companion, why did my mind let itself wander and hope that I could have something more from him.

For you to come with that soft side, you can only say one thing. What do you need to do captain Eutass? - I look him in the eyes, not letting him look away, making him uncomfortable until he lets go of me and moves a few centimeters away.

Kid POV

Eish, can't I already appreciate how important you are to the gang? Or are you still sulking about being caught in the act? - I laugh, but the image of her lying on the bed exploring her body never leaves my head.

Get straight to the point, because like you said, I have other more important things to do since I was interrupted by your bunch of idiots who don't know how to go a day without causing trouble. - She intertwines her arms and starts playing with her hair. 

That quirk was so cute, especially when it touched a weak spot making her feel uncomfortable or when she felt nervous.

Truce, ok?! - I turn around, making her face me – tonight we are going to a cafe that is connected to a deposit of underworld treasures and I need you to do what you are best at.

She opens her mouth and rolls her eyes – meaning being invisible, sneaking in, and stealing while you and the rest of the idiots make trouble?

No - I take her chin with a finger - I want you to let that trapped tigress go out and win hearts.

Eriss POV

WHAT??? No, Kid, please, I don't want to. I feel so uncomfortable! - just the thought of being used as an annoying bait, but every time he brought up the fact that he was a woman, she brought up a sensitive subject. He hugs me.

- I will always be there to protect you, no one takes advantage of my subordinates - a vague attempt to calm me down, although this affectionate side of him was sincere.

I feel his bare torso touching my skin exposed by the crop top I was wearing, that touch melted me, but also left my skin tingling. When he felt my skin crawl, he pulled me even more against him and buried his head in my hair.

Why are you like this Kid? Why do you relax me so much and at the same time put me in a state of alert and full of adrenaline? My body feels heavy and small tears begin to fall down my face as I remember those weeks that led me to join the pack.

[vizthedatum]

cw: a huge vent

Yeah, I woke up early, felt ok physically (was slightly flaring yesterday but I had a really nice time with my gf and it really made up for all of it haha), and then went down memory lane and started crying.

Then, I ate ice cream for breakfast.

Facepalm.

Today, I'm supposed to start a whole new regimen of supplements and meds (I'm still not on as many prescription meds as I've typically been, and I'd like to see how much I can keep it that way). I have my medication pill organizer all organized! I've written out notes and schedules for myself: morning, afternoon, evening, emergencies, morning routine, nighttime routine, grocery lists, etc.

*cries*

I know I will adhere to this - I am trying to give myself so many chances to succeed in life - I WANT TO LIVE FOR MYSELF.

--

I feel so stupid for falling in love with the people of my past.

I feel so stupid for making so many mistakes.

Every day I wonder if I'm just a bad person.

I still apologize for a lot of my unmasked traits.

I am still regretting my poor behavior with a lot of people.

Was I a lousy spouse? Was I a bad child? Am I the actual abuser in all of this?!

What could I have done to make it better??????????

Should I have just stayed quiet - ignored things until I vanished?

--

Sometimes, I wonder if I actually did kill Pri (dead-nickname and the name I used to go by) - what if I killed her so that she didn't have to live through the complex web of lies that she had created for herself?

I GAVE ALL OF THEM SO MUCH BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

I know that I've just recycled parts of her instead - recycled her into who she wanted to be: me.

I'm not plural, but having had PTSD and undiagnosed autism and ADHD for so long... it feels so jarring to be more authentic.

It's so jarring to heal.

--

And what about everyone that Pri loved???

I've often said in this blog that I've been reevaluating everyone Pri loved. I told my therapist last week that I don't regret cutting all the friendships/relationships off from the last year EXCEPT FOR ONE. (Edit: in the end, I have to admit - that situationship or whatever wasn’t really respectful to me - and while I enjoyed aspects, it was a joke of what I truly deserve)

I was so fucking caught up in my trauma that I just couldn't handle it - and I hurt someone I really cared about. I keep telling myself that they didn't even really care about me - but I'm sure they did, at least as a friend or a person in their life.

That relationship made me question a lot, but I was already questioning many things.

That relationship made me realize how poorly I valued myself and how badly I misjudged the toxic way I was attracted to other people.

That relationship wasn't what made me leave my ex-spouse, even if we had arguments about it.

My ex-spouse is why I left my ex-spouse.

The more I live by myself and reconnect with my hobbies, spirituality, friends, healthy depictions of love, etc. - the more I realize how UNSAFE I was.

I still weep at pictures of myself from 2019-2022.... how could someone who claimed to love me let me be in such disarray?

How could I have married someone in the midst of chaos, arguments, debates that were clearly meant to defeat me every time, psychological violence, etc.?!

Why didn't I just BREAK UP WITH THEM AND KICK THEM OUT YEARS AGO - instead of having the stupidest marriage where I was the only active participant, living in a dangerous and toxic environment, and being in financial devastation?

I am still recovering from the financial blow I took when I left them in 2022. Before I left, I barely had any credit card debt (I did have a lot of student loans but that is a whole other story - plus I had qualified for loan forgiveness before that was nixed by our government), my credit score was amazing, and I was going to try to recover from burnout (I AM STILL IN BURNOUT)....

I have no idea when I'll be able to really recover - I am trying to figure it all out, and of course, I have a plan (I must - I keep having to be forced into it - and I fucking like having a comfortable life)... but I wonder, when will be the day when I can't just do it anymore?

When will I be unable to "hack" life?

Will I relapse into my codependency and end up with immature partners who expect me to push through my autism and various other disabilities to the point of me completely falling apart while they yell at me about how ungrateful, selfish, and insecure I am?

Will I just be perpetually used as a sex object until people think I'm too ugly and too annoying to be used any further?

--

I have had to heal from who I was to figure all of these questions out. I wasn't in great long-term relationships before this one, and there were reasons for it.

I am investigating the why - I am trying to feel the emotions - I am trying to confront my own "shadows" - I am trying so hard.

I am also just trying to live life every day.

I am trying to do better on so many fronts now.

[lynn-707]

Depression-Borg

An AU I wrote abt Melvinborg suffering because I HATE HIM. 🤬

•••

TW: Substance Abuse.

•••

What is Melvin doing in his life? Being a rich-man swimming in gold? His grades, and academic accomplishments as well as his creativity was proven to be useful. His daily life must be easy.

   Firstly, he gets up to take pills for his multiple mental disorders considering the fact he NEVER got into his dream school, and gave up on trying to get in—especially since he feels guilty about killing off George, and Harold. Sure, they were a pain in the ass, as well as made his life miserable, but ever since their death it was quiet. Too quiet...

   When everyone found out who was responsible, people went from sympathizing with Melvin to loathing him. The torment never stopped, so of course he moved to another state to run from his past. Albeit, he did manage to hide from the past, he still gets nightmares about it. Every single dream, it's about atrocious George, and Harold, like they purposefully haunt him.

   Oh, how much he disdains them. The amount of sleepless nights they caused for him, but also any sort of academic opportunities were gone. So what does he do? Drinks away at his problems at a local bar. He isn't too fond of sleeping with strangers, but wouldn't shy away from a stranger asking for his number, especially if they've been at it for a while.

   Sometimes it's a drunk walk home, sometimes he's just too drunk to walk home so he needs a ride, other times he'll pass out of the streets, and sometimes he'll be sober enough to make it home, then proceed to cry himself to sleep. He hates himself for getting so drunk, but at least it numbs the pain that has been there since he was a child.

   Drugs were enticing, though he never took them, same with getting high. He was tempted to try cigarettes—and he did, though he had many problems with it that he decided not to after his first try. Substance abuse aside, he tried to drive home one night after the bartender kicked him out.

Unfortunately, that didn't end too well for him. His hatred for his body somehow increased after the crash. Almost half of his body was burned off, but thankfully he managed to survive. His mom was the only one who came over since his dad was busy off at work. At least what his mom tries to say...

   Her soft, wrinkled skin has eye bags underneath them. Whenever she tried to reassure her son that she still loved him, he didn't believe her. Understandably so because, who would ever love a mentally ill, alcoholic, disabled, lonely, piece of lard as their son? His mom got rid of his mirrors to avoid him getting reminded of his past mistake.

   Even as an old woman, she remained kind to him. She took care of him like he was a sick 6 year old. Her love was unconditional. When strangers gave him weird looks, she would always defend him. Although it took a lot of her energy to do most of his errands, she still did it because she knew how insecure he was about himself. It was nice while she lasted.

   There wasn't much he could do other than reflect on his past lives, and his mistakes. Oh, how he loathed himself. He can't even stand looking himself in the mirror. The fact that his own mom got rid of reflective surfaces for him showed how much she cared, and yet he still found himself being able to see how he looked like, and he hated seeing himself—it was a reminder of his mistakes, a reminder of how he fucked himself up.

   He was tired of having to run from the past, so why not fix it instead? Maybe then, he can finally have a better future...

•••

I can do a part 2 of Depression-Borg if anyone wants. Not too sure about giving him a happy ending because imo he doesn’t deserve one. 😚