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#leaving me with: no plan for my future
scatterbrainedbot · 11 months
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cass, a professional: order of badass donbot, extra dramatic entrance!
me, nodding, banned from most kitchens: leo drama and angst, heard chef!
(shoutout to @somerandomdudelmao for yet again making feel emotions i cannot fully explain)
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notisland · 2 years
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me, a fool: wow i love chemistry! i should go into chemistry i love chemistry so fucking much
later me, who is also a fool: woe! a chemistry related field requires significant portions of science! my least favourite part of chemistry!
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bonetrousledbones · 4 days
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btw in case anybody's wondering what i've been working on as of late i've mostly been redesigning this guy for the 4th time because sometimes good ideas are bad
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 2 months
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guys what should i do for my birthday
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maggots-inmyguts · 18 days
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Hey gang, so umm kinda random but PLEASE
If you're a proshipper, or support it/see nothing wrong with it, please don't follow me or interact with me
If I follow you, then block me, I'm more than likely unaware of it
This isn't meant to be offensive, or meant as an attack, I'm simply just uncomfortable with it and would rather be at a distance with proship in general
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queerplatonicdiaries · 2 months
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squish ramble
this probably isn't gonna make much sense bc I'm kinda sleepy but I just. I love them so fucking much. we just called for like an hour an a half and for those moments everything else disappeared. all the stress, all the worries, it all seems so much lighter just because I know I have them in my life and we can talk about anything. that feeling of complete ease and comfort when we're together, even if it's over a patchy phone signal, there's nothing else in the world that could replace it. the feeling of being seen and heard and understood entirely, the knowledge that we have each other and we're going to be okay. I know we're still young, but I hope we have this for the rest of our lives. I think as long as I have them, everything else will be alright. I love them and I love loving them, it's the best feeling in the world <3
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lorephobic · 6 months
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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hirazuki · 3 months
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how about "shiro + lotor 2" from your WIPs? (sorry for making you VLDpost in 2024)
Lmao it's my own damn fault for admitting to VLD WIPs in my folder in 2024 XD
So this is supposed to be another missing scene, along the same lines as my one VLD fic I do have published, this time between Shiro and Lotor when they're on their way to the Kral Zera.
Lotor shifted again, braced against the cool metal, careful not to let the back of his head bump against the edge of the dashboard he was leaning on.  Senses honed by almost ten thousand years of persecution insisted that he remain standing, behind the pilot, in case something -- anything -- were to go awry; smooth sailing after the turbulence of take-off did not by any means imply that safety was guaranteed. The prince, however, had forced his body into a sitting position. With wrists propped up on bent knees, he had chosen a spot to the right of the pilot’s chair. Not only could he use what respite he could get before they arrived at their destination, but the man that had expressly -- and covertly -- gone against the wishes of his team deserved that courtesy. Shiro was risking his very position within Voltron to aid him, and had been open-minded and supportive of him from the start; the very least Lotor could do as thanks, he reasoned, was not hover over the man’s shoulder, behind his back, suggesting not only a lack of trust but possibly sinister intentions. He looked up at the paladin. The man had his hands on the controls, occasionally making some adjustments on the screen in front of him. Probably skirting patrols.  The slight veering off-course of the mechanical lion had increased in frequency the longer they were in flight.  We must be getting close. Neither of them had said much, beyond going over the details of the plan, but it was not uncomfortable. The soft whirring of the Black Lion’s engine and beeping of her controls was pleasant enough that the half-Galra found himself thinking that flying like this for the rest of his life would not be so bad. Soothing. That was the word.  “I apologize,” Lotor said, eventually, breaking the silence. “For what?” “I am aware I have caused a rift between you and the rest of the paladins. That was never my intention.” “Oh,” Shiro replied. “Actually, I don’t think it was you, specifically. It’s… been a long time coming. You were just a convenient subject.” “Ah, convenience. It does always seem to come down to that, doesn’t it?”
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bright-and-burning · 1 month
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i have a horrific headache rn but i do feel better emotionally and morally re: work stuff
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incomprehensi-bull · 1 month
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i was flipping through my stuff earlier trying to see what i could use for comm examples and i think i realized... i don't think my usual work-style is very... comm friendly?? but! i've been playing with that paint-y style lately and i think i have a lot of fun with it. so i guess where i'm going with this is. hold on i can make a poll for this
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kruxton · 10 months
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having a Night. havent been alone w my thoughts in a while and im not liking it
#usualy i'd make up some stupid story to fall asleep but its not working now#some news was broken to me just now and i dont know how to feel about it#i mean i do#ok incoming vent#hate the idea hate it so so much but its so selfish of me to think that way#and the issues all lie within ME and i just. i cant change now#not w all the work i put into adapting to this place i cant just. pack it all up and leave to go somewhere else#my future was set here man. all i had left was to finish a year and a half more of secondary school n get thru my IGCSEs and i'l be set#yeah i didnt have a specific plan but i had come to terms w a solid general one that i actually really liked#and now its all Ruined#'dw you'll be going to a good school over there too! much better than where ur at now' i dont want to#i cant i just cant#i cant leave my life here now not when im so close to finally getting my freedom#i was supposed to graduate top of my class here i was supposed to excel in my extra curriculars i was supposed to be KNOWN#god does that sound horrible of me but i cant change the way i feel and how ive always felt#i was set man. i couldve gotten that scholarship and gone overseas#i NEED that scholarship or my family wont be able to afford to put my siblings into good schools#but now my progress is gone!#yeah idfk how the school system shit works but i highly doubt some prestigious ass school is gonna care abt shit i did in my current one#yeah i could be wrong but what if man#what then. what the fuck am i supposed to do#and im scared i wont be able to make friends there#fuck im prbly overthinking this n being such a fucking pussy but#i cant. be alone#not again i cant do that shit again#i have my friends here!!!! and theyre alright i like to be around them so why cant i just stay#im just so tired#i just want to sleep#but all i can think about is this#vent
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milo-is-rambling · 2 months
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I think I’m always going to be running and trying to find the next thing that will make me happy and it will always be something I have to find within myself. So that’s cool.
#escape tag on the mind. thinking about getting up north and the joys of the road and then realizing I would have to start my life there. I#would still have to settle down somewhere and have a home#guy who wants to leave constantly and not be found but cant shut up and loves to leave evidence of themselves everywhere#love covering things in stickers love writing my name on park benches love leaving my mark on the world#but also. get me out of here and I need to get somewhere where the world feels bigger than my bedroom#cause Florida feels so suffocating rn like I have no where to go no where to be me to be happy to have friends to have fun#I feel so trapped in my room and my room feels so monotonous#idk what to do to change it cause im avoiding being miserable and the fear of failure is eating me alive so im not taking any hard chances#to move forward and it makes me want to throw up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my mom randomly brought up sending me up north with like a six month budget plan or whatever and now idk if I should be looking for a job#that hard or not and idk what I’m doing and it’s freaking me out and I want to run away from everything#but I also would do fucking anything to be near my friends rn to feel like I can breathe when I go outside to be up north would fix so much#of my shit going on rn and even if it didn’t magically make me happy it would be so much easier for me to set roots (even temporarily) andi#can live month to month up there my mom pressures me so hard to have long term plans and it’s not what I need rn at all I need to focus on#short term shit and not get anxious about the big picture but my mom cannot shut up about the big picture and future steps and all this shit#and idk what’s real and what’s hypothetical plans and it’s so annoying and frustrating and I want to get my shit together but I also don’t#bc the world seems miserable but god I would so much rather be miserable up north with Millie near me than be miserable in the heat w my mom
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Stayed up until 1:00am to finish the last two hours of Thud!
You’d think I’d be prepared after seven books for Vimes to do something in the last act that has me on the edge of my seat holding my breath, until against all odds, the universe blinks first and I’m bowled over again by the heights of integrity one brave old terrier from the gutter can rise to. Still, I am surprised every time.
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fancysasquatch · 3 months
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I'm starting to really hate my job. I'm scheduled to work eight hours but they only give me six hours worth of work to do, but I'm not allowed to leave early. After I get done actually working I have to find two hours worth of nonsense to do to look busy because if anybody sees me doing something other than working diligently for those eight hours then they'll complain to my boss who will complain to me. And apparently there are some people who will also complain to my boss if they do see me working because they want everything to be cleaned but they don't want to deign to see the person that does the cleaning. They won't say anything to my face mind you, nobody in that office has ever said an unkind word to me and several of them have gone out of their way to pull me aside and thank me for doing such a good job. But one of them (and I have my suspicions who it was) emailed my boss who then spent way too long telling me all about how I need to be done before they get there so I'm not in their way. So now I'm no longer stretching six hours of work into an eight hour day, I'm cramming six hours of work into the first four hours of an eight hour work day and then I'm spending the next four hours looking busy so they know things are getting cleaned, but also avoiding being seen.
Also the day before that office emailed about not having to see me, they also emailed about things not being clean enough (all of their complaints centering on the fact that I'm not doing certain tasks which I was either never told to do or explicitly told not to do) so my boss spent almost two hours yesterday showing my how to do exactly what I've been doing 13 times a day every single workday for the past two months. So not only am I supposed to be doing everything almost twice as fast as I have been, they also don't want to see any dip in quality at all and in fact want me to do an ever better job at cleaning everything.
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deadrlngers · 1 year
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no but thinking of violante's manic state following her murder of ruven and that sick game of association-replacement played by gortash where he acts just like ruven did, picks up some of his behaviours and mannerisms and speech patterns he specifically used with violante and that he knows of well bc he observed and studied them interact, so that he can fill up the now empty spot left by ruven's death.
#rena.txt#LIKE THE LAYERS. vio is visibly not. alright. it's all about 'i'm alone without him' so he plays a role. takes advantage of the weakness so#to devote her to him like she was devoted to ruven. vio could've killed for ruven and now more than ever she's a powerful asset to have on#your side. plus she showed she can and will kill. she took out the only person she cared for (in their twisted ways) in the world so she's#useful but dangerous. a double edged blade. no better moment than now that vio is so unstable and lacks purpose and a sense of community#to lure her on his side for his future plans. there's smth about the manipulation in it that makes me lose it like#i know this is what you desperately need rn and i know you know you will never have it back so what if i showed you i can be that thing#you're missing? that sense of loneliness is what he's pressing on the most. and the loss too. and vio notices ofc she recognises when he#speaks or acts in a certain way. she's aware but willingly letting his plan work bc god. she does miss ruven so sickly much and the comfort#in a lie is preferable to what's going on in her mind in that moment.#there's exploitation and there's a lil touch of loneliness on his side too and it's bitter to pretend to be someone else to convince her to#stay but he won't ever admit it. genuinely think that if vio didn't leave without saying a word his plan would've worked. she'd willingly#pretend he could replace ruven. it would hurt less probably#that devotion that could lead her to do great horrors...both her weakness and strength 👍 the illusion of free choice 👍#it's past 3am if i could elaborate better i would but i feel like i'm having visions at this point.hit me with a giant hammer so i can slee#i 🫶 toxicity in my characters dynamics btw
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pyrothecary · 11 months
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america's most eligible wedding edition finale spoilers
i swear i'm almost done with ch0ices guys. almost. but for now here's a compilation of all the screenshots i took of book 3 while i was pining after slater while being engaged to another man 😍 i don't know why i took this many and i dob't know why my hoarder instincts extend to useless screenshots but i need to put these somwehre before i delete them. just in case i need them at some point. (idk why i named my mc 'yum' either but it was so funny when people were trying to be romantic and they just went '... yum... 😋')
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