#let him nappy

[pinkflames]

No one:

Grian for the entirety of session 3:

[starrjoy]

NO GUYS, HE DOESNT FUCKIN SLEEP, THATS THE WHOLE POINT

SEGA WONT LET HIM!!!

[cweampup]

waiting for naoto to come home from work ૮꒰ ྀི◞ ๑ ◟ ྀི꒱ა

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

hunter’s eye bags just keep getting bigger someone let this boy get some sleep

[fastfists]

Sorry haven’t been around much...Knuckles is being a stubborn muse =w=;;;

[woahhiperson]

boogerbert

[citricacidprince]

I won't be able to finish those doodle requests tonight so take these two doodles I was already working on cause I'm kinda proud of em! ^^ (I had too much fun playing with lightning-)

[ctinakitten]

sapnap is my baby boy but I would also cheer for emma if they decided to fight him to defend tina

[jekkies]

damn if y'all don't let this dude get some SLEEP 😭

[my-darling-inej]

appreciation post for kaz’s best one-liners

because he’s the chandler of the crows

about jesper spelling ‘forgive me’ on dirix’s chest in bullet holes: “Compromise”, Kaz said. “I’m sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets.”

“If you fail, all the world will suffer for it.” - “Oh, it’s worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don’t get paid.”

“I had a question,”, said Kaz. “About your mother and whether the rumours are true.” (he says that to a guard in hellgate 💀)

when he tells wylan to watch jesper so he doesn’t go gambling: “I don’t need a nursemaid”, Jesper snapped. “More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night, that’s your business.” (captain of the wesper ship from day one)

Kaz replied with a time-saving gesture that relied heavily on his middle finger and disappeared belowdecks. (i know, technically not a line, but still great)

“I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.” (iconic 👏🏻)

when jesper doesn’t know what to do with the backless book: “Hold it up so we don’t have to look at your ugly face.”

“What is he doing?” asked Matthias. “Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual,” Kaz said. “Really?” - “No.”

“How do we cross? I don’t see anything.” - “Because you are not worthy.” - “I’m also not nearsighted. There’s nothing there.” followed by: “This is only one part of Hringkälla.” - “Yes, I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake.”

“You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan’s school pals along the way.”

about van eck’s replacement for the ruby (that HE STOLE): “Nice pin,” Kaz said with a glance at the ruby stuck to Van Eck’s tie, “Not as nice as the other one, though.”

“Let’s go.” - “Me?” - “No, the idiot behind you.”

“How is-” - “Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I’m stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids. Keep a watch.” (actually it’s because of inej, but sure, kaz)

while petting a dog: “Now why can’t people be this easily trained?”

“I helped as well,” added Kuwei, looking sulky. “He did help,” Wylan said. “We’ll make him a plaque,” said Kaz.

“I need to do this. I’ve never been to my mother’s grave. I’m not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye.” - “Trust me, you care more than she does.” (i mean he’s right but jesus christ 💀)

“Pick up the pace,” Kaz said, eyeing his watch. “If I spill a single drop of this, it will burn straight through the floor onto my father’s dinner guests.” - “Take your time.”

when he breaks that dreg member’s leg: “My leg! My leg!” - “I recommend a cane.” (he’s a bad bitch and he knows it. 10/10)

Jellen Radmakker had fallen to the stage and was bellowing, “I’ve been shot!” He had not been shot.

when zoya tries to reanimate kuwei: “I really hope she gets this right,” murmured Nina. “Not as much as Kuwei does,” said Kaz.

in conclusion: kaz is actually funny as hell

[captaindibbzy]

In relation to the Baymax thing, and also Turning Red, I think a lot of people have missed out on how fucking funny periods are.

Every time I turn on a comedy show I have to hear about some dudes dick. During school people drew dicks on everything. Even in family friendly shows there's hints towards inappropriate contexts. There's jokes about boys hitting puberty and their voice dropping through the floor and how teenagers are emotional wrecks and sleepy and rebellious and it's customary to make fun of teenagers.

Kids are joking about poop and piss. Adults are joking about poop and piss. Wet dreams are not off topic for boys. Inappropriate boners. Everybody smells.

There's entire episodes dedicated to cartoon characters (usually boys) turning 13 and deciding that they are an adult now and they must partake in adult things and forgo all the baby stuff they liked when they were a child (yesterday).

Now take the period. You're somewhere between 8 and 13. How much you have previously been warned about this largely depends on geography and culture.

My mum thought she was dying when she had her first period. Full blown meltdown. And then her mum was like "oh yeah that just happens." Just????? It's so stupid???? It just happens?!?!?!

The utter indignation of reaching an age where people deem it appropriate for you to learn about your own body, sometimes when the change has already started, and be told that every woman in your life from birth to now has been lying to you for a week every month. Your mother. Your aunt's. Your neighbours. Your teachers. All those women on TV. Everyone. They're all walking around with this thing and fucking nobody told you because it's inappropriate. They are bleeding out their yahoo and for some reason this is more inappropriate than poop and bogies and ear wax and piss and sometimes more inappropriate than sex. You've 100% seen blood before.

And now you are a woman! Suprise!!!! But oh no we can't let the men know. Why? Well they might be embarrassed. These are the same men that have been teasing you your whole life about being a girl and thus you must faint at the sight of blood and be weak and you can't lift and they are so much stronger. You're so delicate. Oh don't let your dad know when it's happening. It will be so awkward for him. Your brother's, who may be older than you, can't at all know! In some cultures men don't know this is happening till they are married.

"I woke up this morning and there's blood pouring out a hole I may or may not have known was even there and I feel like crap and now I'm supposed to be a woman not a child but we can't let the men fully know what's going on because they might faint or some shit from the shock and also every woman in my life has been lying to me all my life."

"Yes."

"How long does this go on?"

"Well... About 50 years."

"50 YEARS?!?!"

"And then your body goes through reverse puberty and stops functioning correctly."

Side note. Came back from summer holidays in to my last year of primary school and one girl and developed boobs over the holiday and suddenly all the boys had to get changed in a different room. It was to "get us ready" for secondary school. Except we didn't have a seporate room so boys had to get changed in the cloak room for PE.

And then, and then, you go pad shopping.

There's so many pads, so much choice, so much shit. Do you want to cram some cotton up there? Do you think you need a pad thick enough to be a nappy? There's pads specifically designed to sit on thongs. Some are long some have wings some are scented for some reason?!? Or you can get reusable ones or moon cups. And it's expensive!!! How would you like to proceed with the worst day of your life so far? How many are you going to need? Who knows! Nobody's certainly given you any indication in your entire life!

Also it affects your appetite. But you're a teenage girl and society has very strict ideas about how much is appropriate for you to eat and what you are supposed to eat.

Oh and your face breaks out in spots cause hormones are happening.

And you will get it wrong at some point and wreck your favourite cute knickers and bedding and pajamas. The fucking mortification of going to the bathroom at school and discovering your knickers are demolished. A pad will not help you now. You are miles from home. It's like shitting yourself but you have fucking less control over it.

Kids be out there singing "Uncle Billy and his ten foot willy" but if they know Sarah is on her period the world will end.

And this isn't even touching on the fact that in some cultures the reward for this is now you get to partake in the women's jobs. You are an adult now. Here is a pile of vegetables. No your brother's still get to play on the X-box. Yes they are older than you but they are boys and now you are a woman. Peel those potatoes.

This entire situation is ridiculous. Like utterly fucking hilarious how everyone is tiptoeing around this thing. I've never seen a period joke that wasn't funny.

[shaykappa]

Favourite/Funniest Lines From Six of Crows

"I am a businessman," he 'd told her. "No more, no less." "You are a thief, Kaz." "Isn't that what I just said?"

"I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time."

"Go tell your general to keep the Black Tips out of Fifth Harbor and that we expect him to make amends for the shipment of jurda we lost, plus five percent for drawing steel on neutral ground and five percent more for being such a spectacular bunch of asses."

"Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid."

"Really, Jesper? If I want to watch men dig holes to fall into, I 'll find myself a cemetery."

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

"I had a question. About your mother and whether the rumors are true."

"I won't trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces, Kaz."

"You wouldn't know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth."

"Also the proper way to fold a napkin and dance a minute. Oh and you can play the flute. Marketable skills, merchling. Marketed skills." "No one dances the minuet anymore."

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" "Gun to the back?" "Poison in his cup?" "You are all horrible."

"Moose is probably your native tongue."

"I don't need a nursemaid." "More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night that's your business."

"I am glad I am bleeding all over your shirt." "I'll put it in your tab."

"Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I 'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost." Brekker's lips quirked. "I 'll just hire Matthias's ghost to kick your ghost's ass." "My ghost won't associate with your ghost." Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

"I am going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me." "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what the big players do." "You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to..."

"Wake up you miserable lump of muscle."

"It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet, there you stand."

"Just flip it open to the back." "So?" "Hold it up so we don't have to look at your ugly face."

"And I can tell you 've never given thought to your haircut."

"Nina is everything you say. It's too much." "Mmm, maybe you are just not enough."

"Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We 're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breath air."

"What is he doing?" "Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual." "Really?" "No."

"Saints" he said. "That bad?" "No, you just have really ugly feet."

"If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face."

"How do we cross? I don't see anything." "Because you are not worthy." "I am also not nearsighted. There's nothing there."

"Yes I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake."

"If only you could to girls in equations." "Just girls?" "No, not just girls."

Djel says you're a fanatic, drunk on your own power. Come back next year.

They are in trouble. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you are about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.

"I. Should. Let. You. Die."

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you?" "Well, I do like the sound of that."

"Son of a bitch." "What is it, boss?" Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. "That little bastar-" Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck and the gold buckles in his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth. "He picked your pocket?" No one got one over Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

[mellowsadistic2]

Karen smirked as she scrubbed the bathroom walls. She’d been furious when she’d found her husband in bed with another woman, but now that things had settled down, it was clear she’d come out on top.

Her husband had sat her down (and hadn’t there been some strange music playing in the background?) and explained all about how their relationship would have to change – that he would have to make up for cheating on her by ensuring that she was well and truly pampered.

Karen’s soaking wet nappy squelched between her legs as she moved around the tub squirting and scrubbing all the surfaces to make them sparkly clean.

Sure, she had to do lots of chores now, like doing all the cooking and cleaning for Daddy and his mistress, but she didn’t have to go to her stupid job anymore. Her husband had rung up and told them she’d quit! She’d actually been angry at first because for some reason she’d thought she wanted to keep doing her dumb high-powered career, but then her husband had explained to her how much better it would be to be a happy little housewife instead. Doing the laundry was so much easier than… than whatever it was she’d been doing before. Law? Medicine? She wasn’t sure.

Karen shook her head, making her hair flap about her face. It didn’t matter. Her head was nice and empty now. Free from responsibilities and stress. Her smirk grew into a satisfied grin. Yes, that stupid homewrecker had really got the worse deal.

Karen had her own room now, and she even got to sleep in a really comfy bed that had bars on the sides to stop her falling out. Meanwhile that dumb bitch her husband had been fucking had to share a bed with him, and she didn’t get a special high-chair to eat her din-dins in like Karen did. Nothing made Karen feel more superior than when she was looking down at her husband’s mistress at the dinner table, watching the woman eat with a knife and fork while Daddy spoon-fed her baby food (she didn’t even have to chew!) and wiped her messy face for her. After all, what did being pampered mean if not having all her needs taken care of for her?

Well, there was one other thing. Karen glanced over at the toilet with a sneer. She didn’t have to use the stupid potty anymore. Being pampered meant she got to wear her thick, adult-sized Pampers instead! No more sitting on cold, icky potties for her. She just went in her pants and left the rest up to Daddy!

At that moment, she heard footsteps approaching, and she turned around to see her husband appear at the bathroom door.

“Hi, Daddy!” she blurted, blushing a little and feeling butterflies flutter in her stomach at the sight of him.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he cooed, his eyes glittering. His eyes darted down to the drooping diaper between her thighs, and he smirked. Then he looked around the bathroom. “Aren’t you finished in here yet?” he asked.

“Not yet, Daddy,” Karen said.

“Well make sure it’s done soon or you’ll get a red bottom,” said her husband sternly. “Elanor will be back from work soon and I want the house spotless when she arrives.”

Karen nodded earnestly and performed a curtsey – although she had to pretend to hold the edges of her skirt since she never wore anything but her nappy below the waist.

“Good girl,” Daddy said, and Karen felt her pussy pulse in her sodden diaper.

Once he’d left, she went back to her scrubbing straight away, determined to finish the bathroom as quickly as she could. She was so lucky Daddy cared about her enough to spank her. His mistress never got spanked.

Just then, Karen felt a slight pressure in her bladder, and she immediately let go, flooding her already drenched diaper with a strong gush of pee-pee. It was yucky and squishy and stinky, but that was okay. It was a small price to pay to get pampered. Karen smirked once more as she got down on her knees and started cleaning the toilet that she would never use again. Yes, she’d definitely come out on top.

***

More content on Patreon for those who are interested.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Daddy’s Girl

HEADCANON

PAIRING: Dad!Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader | Dad!Aegon ii Targaryen x fem!Reader

WORDS: 1,774.

SUMMARY: Rough ideas of the Targaryen princes as fathers to their first, newborn daughters. 

WARNINGS: fluff, swearing, overprotective!Aemond, overprotective!Aegon, reckless Aegon, lactation kink, breeding kink, slight praise kink. 

A/N - Ya’ll knew this was coming surely... I can’t get enough of this domestic shit!!! Dad!Aemond has me in a chokehold and simultaneously, Dad!Aegon has my back arched, wtf do I do?!

AEMOND TARGARYEN: 

When Aemond saw and held his tiny little daughter for the very first time, it was like love at first sight. 

He didn't know how anything so small, so precious could bring out all these intense feelings in him, and yet here she was in all her glory.

She was the apple of her father's eye, they were obsessed with each other.

He actually wouldn’t fly her on Vhagar when she’s just a newborn, he would want to wait it out. Considering his first flight was very turbulent, he would never put his daughter at risk. 

She is his “byka prince” [little princess].

Aemond definitely selects her little outfits, if you both stroll around markets or attend royal visits to various other places, and he sees something he adores, he’ll buy it for her. If he sees a particular material/pattern and colour he likes, he orders the servants to have it made for his little princess. Even toys, he’ll have them hand-crafted, a small, hand-painted dragon for his little girl, it would be a miniature Vhagar. 

No doubt, he dresses her in the Targaryen colours or even occasionally Green, in honour of his mother. 

If she cries during the night, he’s usually the first to awake and check (he does not mind, one bit). He reasons with you saying “You did give birth to her, so your hard part is done now it’s my turn, issa jorrāelagon [my love].”

Immediately, she falls asleep after he cradles her for some time, sometimes you even hear him humming a song. On the off chance, that she doesn't settle, it’s often because she either is hungry and needs feeding, or she needs a nappy change.

Aemond would be so bad at nappy changes, although he’s willing to try and gradually gets the gist of it. He doesn’t mind the dirty work.

He loves to bathe his little princess, he only lets you and himself, maybe even Alicent if she’s free and willing to. 

Aemond would definitely do that skin-to-skin touch, when she’s a newborn: he wants her to get familiar to his touch and scent, in case he has responsibilities and duties he needs to attend to as Prince Regent. 

The thought of his daughter not recognising him or resembling him to a stranger terrifies him. 

Overprotective is an understatement. 

Aemond will literally kill anyone that even dares to hurt or speak ill of his daughter. 

Once she starts walking, growing into her toddler phase, she becomes more active and involved. She’ll literally fall and trip over herself (and you’ll be okay with it, and Aemond would just be losing his shit), and if another child is present, he’ll even scold them. 

If he sees a graze or cut or a tiny, spectacle of blood on her, it’ll be the end of the fucking world. 

Having lost his eye, he would never forgive himself if she ever has to endure pain or trauma like that. 

You try to reason with Aemond, that part of parenting you need to teach resilience and the ability to ‘bounce back’ although, Aemond’s not having it. So much to your disapproval, your daughter will definitely grow up spoilt and protected. 

Now that Aemond can hold her appropriately, and she can seat herself properly, he mounts her on Vhagar with him and take flight. At first, she's terrified of the height, although seeing how happy and comfortable Aemond is, she reads him so well and starts to enjoy it too. 

They literally have their own language, they can read minds. Aemond doesn't even need to ask or probe his little girl about what she wants, he just knows. Some water? Here you go. Some sweets? There you go, princess. 

He teaches her Valyrian at such a small age, as soon as she starts verbalising, that she eventually becomes more fluent than you. 

She definitely has Aemond’s Targaryen hair and lilac eyes, although your features, which Aemond fucking loves. 

He definitely takes care of her hair, has his own routine for it, just as he maintains his own. He even learns how to properly braid her hair. 

Aemond is so relieved and impressed that his daughter is not at all afraid of his missing eye, and the sapphire that replaces it. At times, she even tries to touch and grab at it, and he has to pull her away, otherwise she just smiles lovingly and laughs at him. 

She's the only one (besides yourself) that can genuinely make Aemond smile, like if he's having a shit day, as soon as he sees her (even if she's asleep in her cradle), that’s enough to warm him.

Aemond loves and accepts your body changes, he reassures you when you feel insecure, that your body performed a miracle, and that you grew his child effortlessly. 

He definitely watches you breastfeeding and has no shame: something about the way that only you can provide for her, makes him feral. 

The man has a lactation kink, 100%, once he knows he’s daughter has been fed, and now that she can start tolerating solid feeds, he spoils himself to your milk. He finds the sweet, creamy taste delicious. 

Nonetheless, he knows for certain he needs to have another child with you immediately, and won’t stop until he sees your belly swell. 

AEGON ii TARGARYEN:

Aegon would be so nervous having a little girl at first. 

The history with women that he's had and the poor treatment he had previously shown, he is aware was unacceptable and since having met you, he has changed.

Although, his past would haunt him regardless.

He did remain by your side during the birth, and when the maester declared a daughter, he was in a state of shock. 

He wouldn't completely withdraw himself from you nor the babe, he loved you too dearly to do that. And seeing how well you were with her, and how warm your daughter was with you, he slowly started to gain confidence in himself. 

You’d help him get used to holding her, demonstrating the correct technique, for she was so tiny against his body, he kept fearing that he’d drop her or hurt her in his grip. 

He actually even stopped drinking completely now, he didn’t want to risk being tipsy, in case he had to hold her.

Nonetheless, he became an absolute pro.  

He even begged to take her on Sunfyre with him, although you were still quite anxious for she was so small. 

Somehow, he convinced you for just a quick, short flight: he trusted Sunfyre with his life, and he knew the dragon would nurture and protect his daughter too. 

You would watch from the ground in complete silence, just anxious although, as soon as he landed and dismounted with the babe still nestled and settled in his arms, you were quite surprised.

Aegon would be so proud of himself, it boosts his ego. 

He would always regularly check up on her, even if he only just saw her 10 minutes ago. 

“Aegon she's been asleep in her crib for the past hour, nothing has changed, why do you feel the need to look?” 

He can’t help himself, you’ve come to find it’s as though a switch has flicked on for him, he’s become so protective over you and the babe, he can’t stand leaving you two alone. 

“But she needs me...” He’ll say, as he just stares at her asleep in absolute awe that he helped to make this angel. 

She definitely looks more like her Dad, soft, gentle features with the Targaryen traits. She literally looks like an angel. 

She has Aegon’s plump cheeks and he’s always just kissing and nibbling at them. 

Aegon loves how everyone fawns over her, including his mother. In a way, it makes him feel accomplished. 

Nonetheless, as soon as she’s more involved and interactive, she never wants to leave Aegon’s side. Like she clings to him throughout the day, and cries for him if he isn't around. 

You’ve come to accept that she's an absolute Daddy’s Girl, he’ll carry her around to his council meetings, and she'll bury her face in his chest or the crook of his neck when he tries to get her to greet other lords with him, although she’s too shy. 

Most of the time she even chills on his lap when he sits the Iron Throne. Listening and ordering his subjects for the day, she often remains unphased, although occasionally she’ll try to grab his attention by playing with his hair or trying to touch his crown. That’s when you come in and take her. 

On the days that she is not around, if he has urgent or serious matters to attend (no place for a babe), he feels so empty without her presence there, and feels something is missing. He itches to get back to you both. 

Aegon definitely struggles to be hands on, he hates the dirty work of nappy changes and sometimes begs for you to do it. Although, you both have agreements and take turns with bathing her, or if she cries in the night, Aegon does see to her (although struggles to awake and gradually gets to her).

As random as this is, Aegon would definitely have a Dad!bod and no one can change my mind. The drinking caught up although, his daughter sneaking in sweets to feed her Daddy whilst they chill on the throne doesn't help either. (Aemond will be the type to keep up with his regular training, Aegon struggles with all the responsibilities, although still trains not as often). 

You find Aegon blowing raspberries on his daughter’s stomach, and it makes her laugh like no tomorrow. 

He definitely tells you openly that he wants more children now. 

“Perhaps a son?” He suggests and you reassure him, that is completely out of your control and “Upto the Gods.” 

As soon as your healed from the birth, Aegon is fucking eager to get onto you, and his breeding kink shows. 

He moans how he can’t wait to see your belly swell with his child, another angel: he loves the idea that people will think scandalously of how quick you’ve become pregnant again. Aegon does not care though. 

He even prefers your postpartum body and idolises the changes: he loves how big your tits and ass are, only for his own pleasures.

During the night he'll leave his cock inside of you, making sure he seizes every opportunity to impregnate you. 

You are so proud of the father Aegon has stepped up to be, and you make it known to him, he favours your praise above anyone else. 

[thatgirlstrawberry]

Sick Surprise pt. 4 - Eloise The Great!

In which Y/N needs Spencer to watch Eloise for a few hours

Warnings: cursing, cute moments between Spence and Eloisey,

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Y/N rushed around the apartment, her heels clicking loudly. “Eloise, where did your nappy go?” She called. Spencer was sitting on the couch handing coins to the little girl and she handed them back to him.

“I don know, mommy. You do the clothes machine.” She shrugged, throwing a pin at Spencer’s chest.

He heard Y/N sigh in frustration knowing she was nervous and rushing to leave. “Babe, it’s okay.” He called. “Eloisey and I have got this, right El?” He asked, holding out his pinkie for her.

She wrapped her pinkie around his. “Right.”

Y/N walked back into the living room. She had a job interview for a Special Education company that she was really passionate about. “Do I look like I want a job or do I look like a slut?”

“Mommy, what’s a slut?”

Y/N cringed and bit her lip. “Um… we’ll talk about it later. Go get a cookie.” She nodded. The girl squealed and got off of the couch, running into the kitchen.

Spencer chuckled and stood up. “Spence, I can call a sitter and have them come here so you can leave. I’m sure you have other things to do.” She looked up at him with a serious expression.

He shook his head. “I’m not letting you spend money when this could just be a bonding experience between me and Eloise. I’ll stay with her any time you need me to, okay?”

I am in love with you.

She smiled up at him instead of saying what she was thinking. “Thank you. So much.”

Eloise came running back into the living room with three cookies in her hand. “Eloisey, I said one!” She smiled, shaking her head.

“One is for Spenther. Duh, mommy.” She rolled her little eyes. Y/N giggled.

“May I have one, Ms. Sassy?” She asked, bending to be at eye level with the girl. Eloise held the cookie up to her lips and Y/N took it between her teeth and stood back up. “I love you, sweet girl.” She smiled.

“I love you, mommy!”

She looked at Spencer. “She’s gonna tell you she wants pizza. She hates pizza. Don’t get pizza.” She nodded.

Spencer smiled. “I won’t get pizza.” He shook his head.

“Do get French fries. She looooves French fries.” She nodded. “There’s some in the freezer but if she somehow magically gets you to buy French fries, she only needs a small ‘cause she won’t eat anything more.”

Spencer stepped forward, Y/N backed up her hand on the door. “Okay.”

“A-and no more cookies until she’s had real food and a piece of fruit.” She told him. Her voice was fast and a little nervous. “And if you need to put her down for a nap, make sure to turn on the star lamp on her dresser. Oh! And if you leave her in the kitchen unattended, she’ll get out the shredded cheese and like sprinkle it all over the f-“

“Y/N, Y/N.” Spencer placed his hands on her shoulders. She stopped talking and looked up at him. “You need to go. I’ve got this, I promise. If I need anything I swear I’ll call you.”

She nodded and stood on her toes to kiss him. “Thank you so much for this.”

I love you

“You’re welcome.” He kissed her back. “Now go. Good luck.”

Y/N smiled. “Good luck to you.” With that, she left the apartment and Spencer and Eloise alone.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Y/N had only been gone for ten minutes and Eloise was already screaming. “Pwease, I want a cookie!” She cried, producing no real tears.

Spencer shook his head. “E-Eloise your mommy said no more cookies until after you eat lunch. Do you want some French fries?” He asked, following her into the kitchen.

Eloise stomped her feet on the ground. “No fwies! I want a cookie, pwease!” She cried again.

Spencer sighed. “Eloise, how about for every bite of a sandwich I make you, you get 1 cookie?” He said, getting down to her level.

She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms. “Fine but I want a biiiiig sandwich.” She nodded.

Spencer tilted his head. “Then every 3 bites you take you get a cookie, sound good?” He held his pinky out and waited for her to wrap hers around his.

She hesitated for a mommy before doing it and going to the designated Eloise chair. It was literally one of the set of chairs that Y/N had bought with the table but painted purple and pink because Eloise wouldn’t sit in it unless it was her favorite colors.

Y/N told Spencer that for as long as she was living with her, she would sit in that chair. She would even take it when she moved out.

Anyway, Spencer started to make Eloise’s sandwich and he heard her turn on her tablet and start singing along with the kids music that immediately started playing.

He smiled and danced a little glancing back at Eloise. She was wiggling in her chair too and clapping her little hands.

A few minutes later, Spencer managed to get a sandwich together for Eloise. It wasn’t a big sandwich at all but it just seemed that way to the little girl.

“Get those cookies ready, mister.” She narrowed her eyes at him as she took a bite. Spencer nodded and walked towards the pantry to grab the cookie jar out.

He sat down in front of her and opened the jar. “Okay, two more and you’ll earn yourself a cookie.” He nodded with a smile,

She took two more big bites and smiled at him with her mouth open as she was chewing. He tried not to show the disgust on his face as he took a cookie from the jar and set it on the table.

“All right, here’s one.”

Five minutes later, Eloise had a total of three cookies. She sighed and looked down at the half sandwich she still had left. She picked it up and held it in front of Spencer’s face. “You can have the rest. Not bery hungry anymore. You’re hungry?”

Spencer shrugged. “I’m a little hungry. Thanks, Eloisey!” He obviously wasn’t going to eat after a three year old so he just smiled as she grabbed her cookies and climbed out of her chair.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Man hour later is when shit really hit the fan. “Eloise, you can’t draw on the walls.” He said, standing and watching her hold a red marker. She was facing the wall with the tip of the marker centimeters away from it.

She turned her head. “But why!?” She asked, her attitude shining through.

Spencer tilted his head. “Because mommy will have to clean it all up. And that will make mommy really tired.”

Eloise furrowed her brows. “Will mommy still play with me when she tired?”

The man shook his head pressing his lips together. “Nope. Mommy will also be very mad at us.”

She sighed heavily and threw the marker to the ground. “Why are you calling her mommy? She’s my mommy not yours.” She crossed her arms.

Spencer furrowed his brows but shook his head. “Okay, Eloise I think it’s nap time.” He nodded.

The girl tightened her fist and her face scrunched up. She took a deep breath in. “No. I don’ wanna nap.” She shook her head.

Spencer sighed. “Uh, okay. What do you want to do?”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

“Introducing… Eloise the great!” Spencer shouted as he held his arms in front of the little girl.

The girl pressed her hands to her hips and smiled at absolutely nothing, pretending it was a crowd of people. She had a shiny black cape on and a big top hat. Spencer had on a pink tutu and a red scarf.

“Fank you to my mamazing assistant, Fluffy Brains!” She began to cheer for him as if she was an audience member. She looked at Spencer. “You have to say what I tode you to say.” She whispered.

Spencer nodded. “Oh— okay.” He smiled. “Now, Eloise the great will preform the magic-tastical levitation trick!”

She giggled. “An’ we gonna pretend that I did the twick and everybuddy was wike ‘wow’, otay?” She nodded at Spencer.

He chuckled and nodded. “Orrrr…” He paused. “I Can preform the magic-tastical levitation trick.”

“What’s dat— ahhh!” She giggled as Spencer picked her up and started to run around the house, shaking her in every direction.

She was in a fit of giggles and squeals. Her face was lit up with pure joy and happiness and Spencer could tell that they were becoming attached to each other.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Another two hours later, Spencer held Eloise in his arms as she slept to the sound of Number Friends on TV.

Spencer was reading a book and he put it down when he heard the lock on the door click. Y/N stepped inside quietly and looked around.

Her eyes landed on Spencer and Eloise on the couch and she immediately smiled. “Awwwww.” She hummed, setting her purse down by the door. She took off her shoes, not bothering to put them up. She stalked over to the couch and sat down next to them.

“Was my baby tired?” She whispered, pushing hair behind her daughter’s ear. Spencer nodded and looked around at all the toys on the floor.

“After a whole two hours of playing, yes. She was very tired.” He chuckled softly.

“How was she? Did she give you any trouble?”

He thought about saying yes but there wasn’t honestly anything Spencer thought was trouble. “Nope. She was perfect.” He smiled.

“Is she wearing a cape?” Y/N asked, examining her three year old.

Spencer chuckled. “Oh god, wait till she tries to sell you tickets to her magic show.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows. “What’s the price of admission?” She asked.

Spencer hummed. “A cookie for her and a kiss for me. Since I’m the assistant and all.” He shrugged.

She smiled. “Mm, I guess I’ll pay half of it now.” She smirked, leaning in slowly to capture her lips with his.

He kissed her back immediately before she pulled away after a short while. Eloise stirred in Spencer’s arms. Y/N sighed. “I’ll go take her to—“

“I’ve got her, baby.” Spencer nodded. “Just sit back and relax a bit, okay?”

I am so totally in love with you.

She smiled and nodded. He scooted off the couch and carried Eloise to her room. He came back out and sat down next to his girlfriend. She leaned her head on his shoulders. “Thank you for staying with her today.” She spoke suddenly.

Spencer kissed her head. “Any time.” He smiled.

She squinted her eyes and realized what her boyfriend was wearing.

“Spence, why are you wearing a tutu?”

“Well, you see…”

—————————-

Yesssssss

They’re so cute omg! Send request for this series in my ask box, comment or message!!

Love ya bunches ❤️❤️❤️

[topguncortez]

Jake making you squirt for the first time 🫢

SEDATE ME PLS

did I watch Chris Nappi explain how to do this on his IG. . . maybe. .

smutty below the cut

You were laying on your back, Jake's body in-between your legs. The room was hot and thick with the scent of sex. Jake's hips were relentless against your own. Your nails were scratching down his back, sure to leave angry red marks that the boys would make fun of him for tomorrow. But Jake didn't care, the only thing that mattered right now was you.

"You feel so fucking good," Jake growled in your ear, sucking on the spot behind your ear. You moaned and arched your back. Jake always got like this when he came home from missions or deployments. He was possessive, dominating, the primal need to make you his. To fill you up with his seed and impregnate you.

"Jake, please, I can't," You were near tears from the pleasure. It was unlike anything you have ever felt. That was one thing that you had learned about Jake, he took pride in pleasuring you over getting pleasure himself. He could spend hours in between your legs, making you feel amazing over and over. He never asked for anything in return.

"I got you, sweetheart," Jake said and pushed himself up, "I wanna try something, okay?" You nodded and Jake smirked. He sat back on his heels, still in you. His hands went under your back, and brought your hips up.

"Oh god," You moaned out as he guided your hips down on his lap. The tip of his cock grazed that sweet spot over and over, a constant tapping against your cervix. You felt your orgasm approaching, but the pressure was unlike anything you have ever felt before.

"Jake! Fuck!" You screamed as your hands grabbed his arms, digging your nails into the skin.

"Let go, baby, I got you," Jake encouraged and you nodded, letting the rubber band snap in your belly. Your legs shook violently as loud, pornographic moans left your lips. Jake looked in-between your legs as the liquid gushed from your cunt. The sight and the feeling was enough to send Jake over the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jake moaned as he milked his orgasm. Your body shook with the aftershocks of the most beautiful orgasm you have ever had.

"J-Jake," You cried out, tears in your eyes, "That was-"

"Shh, I know baby," Jake said, leaning down to kiss your lips, "You came all over daddy's cock. Soaked the sheets, probably even soaked into the mattress," Your face flushed and you turned away from Jake, but he tsked and grabbed your chin, "Don't be shy, baby. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you."

"I love you," Your words were slurred and you had a fucked out expression on your face.

Jake chuckled, "I love you too, baby. Now come on, we gotta clean you up."