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uwua3 · 4 years

Note

Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜

i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! ｀･ω･)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything

summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece

author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”

word count: 3,389

music: i like me better – lauv

to everyone i’ve loved before.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do

no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love

therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other

love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long

it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved

you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see

unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory

but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well

all it took was one comment and you were theirs

it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day

you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love

you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him

the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure

when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment

kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡

as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way

you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried

no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold

this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back

everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before

if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...

this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit

it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now

video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again

when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly

you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari

hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat

it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach

kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆

and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you

you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it

it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?

you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece

what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?

obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?

but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw

you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love

the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!

for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person

it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content

as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person

you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop

oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so

kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze

“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week

when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile

was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?

standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers

“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile

“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret

“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back

“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him

agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”

kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that

“i do, especially if they’re from you.”

“what kind?”

someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again

“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty

before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off

“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically

as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were

when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late

when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook

then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief

you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?

you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips

you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty

you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself

kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it

did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again

was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen

kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???

kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!

kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (･ω<)☆ jk haha

kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡

kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha

kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them

now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you

kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed

kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too

some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out

for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies

you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart

the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him

kazunari was your first crush, for real

kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing

kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill

kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before

when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?

before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time

kaz-PIKO: i like you, too

(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)

the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise

you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari

after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari

“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with

“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever

“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre

kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it

“next time, let’s draw together.”

kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile

kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end

when you landed on the last page, you saw a note

do you want go on a date with me?

“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay

“yes.”

“yes...?”

“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you

kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

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thephantomofthe-internet · 4 years

Text

Read Into Me-Chapter 1: Wuthering Heights

Steve Harrington x Shy! Reader

CONTINUE READING THE SERIES HERE

Word Count: 2,849

Date Posted: 04/27/2020

Warnings: Swearing

Author’s Note: We starting something newww friends! If you liked or commented on my post about this series, you’re on the tag list! If you want off lemme know, it’s seriously no big deal. I’ve been working on this one for awhile, so if you liked it, please flash me a reblog or a reply! Criticism is always appreciated!

Tag List: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @herre-gud-nej @aclockworkballerina @maddie1504 @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary @banjino-the-hole @buckysarge @wildcvltre @stanleyyelnatsiii @t0rment0 @10blurredsmoke10 @unusuallchildd @n3wtscaseofniffler5 @alwaysstressedout @peterparxour @linksispink1995 @asharpknife @alex--awesome--22 @baebee35 @marvelismylifffe @lilmissperfectlyimperfect

Flowers poked up between the sidewalk cracks, little white and yellow daisies blooming skyward, their heads turning to bask in the sun. Spring was bursting all over Hawkins, making the town reborn in pastels and Easter bonnets. Babies crawled around in the parks in white outfits, their mothers not worried about grass stains and cooing over their precious bundles of joy.

You crushed the daisies under your boots on your walk to school. You made a point to. They were begging to be crushed, stamped out by your heavy black soles. You didn’t like spring, you hated babies in their grass stained diapers and drool covered cheeks. You couldn’t place why you hated the season, it wasn’t as if you hated the cold or the rain which plagued March and early April, you adored the sound of rain on the Plexiglas roof of your family’s sunroom, thunder in the distance and swirling grey clouds swarming the sky. Then again, that wasn’t what spring wanted to be. Spring wanted to be beautiful bursts of colour and birds singing from their nests, babies crying into life and everything turning green.

Your hatred might have sprung from all that green, your mother had insisted on you taking up an artistic skill, supposedly because it made young women more worldly and affable, and sat you in art classes where you painted bouquets of flowers and bowls of fruit for hours every week. You didn’t hate art; it had become a release for you, a place to vent your emotions and makes something from your mind’s spinning thoughts. You’d filled sketchbooks and canvases with images of aliens and stars and snails. You liked to doodle snails and hourglasses on the margins of your homework. But your favourite thing was to draw your classmates. You were a quiet person, a sensitive soul according to your grandmother, and so often time’s people would ignore you flat out or discount your presence. This didn’t bother you so much, it gave you the chance to look at them without anyone asking any questions, to sketch out their image in charcoal and graphite, covering your hands in black and grey smudges. Your hands were constantly stained black, up the side of your hand to the tip of your pinkie, which meant that your jeans and shirts and sweater cuffs were smudged and stained.

You were sat on the football field’s bleachers one cool April morning, your best friend Samantha Cameron sat next to you, thin headset around the back of her head. She was unable to pull the headset around her black spiked hair, purposefully ghastly pale with black lips. You could hear the muffled sound of Siouxsie Sioux and the Banshees playing at top volume as her head bounced to the beat, her black high tops kicking at the seat below you. You had your sketchpad out, trying to capture the stiff movement of her hair with the graphite piece clutched in your hand.

Samantha turned to look at you with a smile “You get it right yet?” she asked. She could see the annoyance in your face as you rubbed at the drawing, trying to smudge the stray hairs trying to escape the harsh gelling she’d done that morning. Just like your drawing, you suspecting that she’d been unable to get it to do exactly as she wanted.

“It’s getting there, it’s not moving right yet…” you muttered, pulling your lip into your teeth, chewing hard on the skin.

“You have like, four of me as is, I think you’ll survive if it isn’t perfect.” Samantha chuckled, pulling her headset down around her neck, twisting her long strand of pearls around her index finger.

“And I like this one best, your hair is moving so interestingly today…” you swiped at the page, pulling the eraser gum out of the coils and rubbing out the mistake you’d made, adding more shake to the tips of the centre point.

“Besides,” you chuckled “I’m not gonna have the time to get any good sketches of you with post-its in your hair this year.” Usually, you and Samantha would try to take one class together a year, but she had to switch her English class to first semester so she could snag a gym credit to train for potential college reps. She wanted to be a Wellesley girl and get a scholarship for soccer and she needed to be a top performance to get one.

You sighed, turning away from her. “I still hate that Mr. Lawrence insists on group work…” you muttered. You understood her decision, but you felt a bit nervous about being on your own. You’d gone to school with the same kids for your whole life, but being on your own with no one to depend on socially for a whole semester scared you.

Samantha wrapped an arm around your shoulders “You’ll be fine, you know that he usually assigns partners anyway.” She said, rubbing your bare skin gently.

“I know I just really don’t want to get stuck with some nitwit.” You replied. On cue, the bell blared from the outdoor speakers and you closed up your notebook, sliding your graphite and eraser gum into the coils and shoving it into your backpack, stringing it around your shoulders.

Mr. Lawrence’s hair had gone white long before he’d begun to show to process of aging on his face. His only wrinkles were from tension on his forehead and around his mouth. His white hair was a sort of burst of smoke around his head, always puffed up around his head and never fully settled into a style. You smiled when you walked into his classroom, taking a seat in the far back corner. You’d already gotten a sketch of his puffy cloud hair, so you left your notebook closed. The rest of the class trickled in, clumped in their little groups and chattering loudly, taking up the seats around you. Nobody paid much attention to you, which didn’t bother you as much as it used to. It still left a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. You wished that you had your headset, so you could block out the sound from your peers.

You hoped that the seat next to you would stay empty, that people would avoid you and let you sit quietly. It hadn’t before the break, but the room had been set up in little table groups of four. Now, the room was set up in three rows, two desks pushed next to each other all the way down. Mr. Lawrence had already had to yell twice for people to not move the desks, a sign of little cliques forming. Vicki Clarke had tried to pull the desk next to you over to turn the end of the middle row into a fire hazard, causing Mr. Lawrence to yell out for a third time. Vicki rolled her eyes, but released the desk, taking the desk next to the free one, leaving a clear space between her and you. You didn’t mind; Vicki always smelt like artificial apples, from the cheap body spray she slathered herself in at her locker and the scent gave you a headache.

Tina Martins practically ran to Vicki as the bell rang out, immediately calling to Vicki “Move that desk over!”

Mr. Lawrence rolled his eyes “Miss Martins we are not moving any desks in this room. Take a seat.” He announced. Tina’s shoulders sunk, but she obeyed without an argument, taking the seat to Vicki’s right. Then, the reason for all the commotion walked in, late slip in hand.

Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington was still something to talk about, even after being horrifically dumped by Nancy Wheeler, he was still a hot object around the school, especially for girls burned by the newest small town hottie Billy Hargrove. Vicki and Tina were two primed recent burn victims, Tina having tried and tragically failed to get Billy’s attention at her own house party and Vicki being the first ‘hump and dump’ victim of the notorious man whore. Steve’s sad boy behaviour had attracted the attention of many bleeding hearts throughout the school, letting themselves get their hearts drained by his succubus heartache. And here he was, puffed up like a robin, his bright red member’s only jacket mimicking the red breast on the bird, his hair perfectly coiffed and glinting in the florescent lights. Heartbreak had done his ego good, teaching him that girls were a dime a dozen if you were hot and sad. The concept of preying on vulnerable girls made you sick to your stomach.

Steve handed his late slip off to Mr. Lawrence and he stamped it with the date punch he kept on his desk. “Welcome Mr. Harrington, please take a seat so we can begin.” He said, his rectangular glasses sliding off his nose as he spoke.

Suddenly, the energy in the room changed. It was then that you realized the class was mostly girls and every single girl in the room was staring at Steve. It was obvious to you in an instant: they wanted Steve to sit next to them and they were all out of luck, sat next to friends or other girls desperate for the same attention. The bargaining began, girls whispering to the person next to them to move, sliding cool erasers or lipsticks over onto the other desk, peace offerings they hoped someone would take. Mr. Lawrence’s classroom had fallen to jailhouse rules and you sat wondering when the first person would pull their shank. No one moved as Steve made his way to the back of the class. Then, another thing became clear-you were the only person with a free desk next to them. Vicki waved shyly to Steve as he took the seat and you tried to disappear. The whole room’s eyes were now on you and unlike Steve you absolutely hated it. You wanted to disappear. Now, you were enemy number one to every girl in the room.

“Alright, let’s begin then, yes?” Mr. Lawrence clapped once and commenced the lesson “Welcome to your last two months of English! I’m passing around the breakdown for your final assignment and copies of our last reading for the course, Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights.” The class groaned. You’d been hoping for a lighter, more modern read, something at least from that century. But you knew that Mr. Lawrence loved a classic and had to follow the suggested readings for your grade dictating by the state. You took your tattered copy and wordlessly handed the pile off to Steve, who didn’t notice that it had landed on his desk until Vicki pointed it out with a giggle.

“Now, everyone turn to their desk mate. He or she will be your editor and writing partner for the final essay of the year!” your heart dropped. You were stuck with Steve. And he was an idiot. Every stupid thing you’d heard uttered from a classmate’s mouth had always been from his. He once asked who the US was fighting in World War two. He spent one class arguing with a teacher that Beth didn’t die in Little Women, not believing it even when the teacher sourced the exact page when Alcott revealed it. He once failed a health assignment because he mixed up the names for the parts of the male and female. Literally mixed them up, your seventh grade health teacher had provided them for the worksheets and told the class to cut the out and glue them on and he mixed up all the words into a pile. He was an idiot!

Tina’s hand shot up fast and Mr. Lawrence called on her. “Mr. Lawrence, can we be a threesome with Steve?” She asked loudly, smirking over at you. Vicki giggled at the word ‘threesome’, hands clutched over her mouth.

“But then what will Y/N do? She won’t have a partner.” Mr. Lawrence flashed you a small smile and you just about threw up. This was all too much for you, too much attention, too many people looking at you.

You raised your hand timidly “I’ll be fine if that’s what they want to do. I don’t mind working on my own…” you said, your eyes locked on the course breakdown.

“See, Y/N can handle herself.” Tina said. If you knew Tina to be anything other than mean and condescending, you would’ve taken that as a compliment.

“I want every student to have work edited and reviewed by a classmate before I look at it. I’m sorry, but I’m not making exceptions to the rule. If your desk mate wants to switch with Steve, then that’s another thing entirely, but you cannot be a group of three.” Mr. Lawrence laid down the law on that and moved on with the lesson. While Tina and Vicki attempt to convince one another to switch seats and let the other have Steve, neither would budge and Steve seemed utterly uninterested in their spat. To be fair, he didn’t seem interested in the lesson either. He had taken to drawing on the surface of his desk, scratching his initials into the wood.

“Now, for your first assignment back, I’d like you to write me a piece on your spring break. Nothing fancy, just one page typed. We’ll write the first draft today and exchange it with our partners to be edited and rewritten for Friday.” He announced “When you’re done, read chapters one through three of Wuthering Heights.”

With that, the semester had begun again and everyone went to work. Voices took over the room, people chattering around you. You felt a pair of eyes on you, but you flipped open your binder to a clean sheet of paper and began writing out your simple description of your break. You knew that Mr. Lawrence didn’t actually care about what you had done or had to say, only that you’d done the work and had proof of editing for it. This was a practise for the main event. Still, you could make a page out of art classes and driving to Carmel with Samantha to see some random band in the basement of a dive bar. You could even make it interesting for him. But, something still made your stomach churn. You didn’t want Harrington looking at your writing. You didn’t consider yourself the next Hemingway, but you could write an essay. What worried you wasn’t being told that you were wrong. It was letting him into your mind at all. You didn’t know Steve and he didn’t know you, what if he didn’t understand you? He wouldn’t understand you.

You looked up from your work to see Steve looking blankly at you. You met his eye, raising your brow at him. He looked away fast. You didn’t know what it was about, your hands came up to your face, wiping at your cheeks and mouth. Maybe there was something on your face. Maybe your hair looked silly. Maybe he was making fun of you. That had to be it. He was making fun of you. Vicki and Tina were always bugging you and Samantha, maybe he was joining in. It wasn’t your fault that Mr. Lawrence had forced you two to be partners. You pulled your body away from his, curling into yourself.

When the bell rang, you pulled your work into your bag, making a break for the door. You had your free period next and were desperate to finish your drawing of Samantha. You didn’t need to have her in front of you to catch the right details; you’d drawn her a million times.

You had barely made it into the hallway when Steve grabbed your arm, pulling you back with a cocky grin “Whoa, slow your roll there kiddo,” he chuckled. Your skin prickled under his hand and you wanted nothing more than to disappear. You stopped dead in your tracks, pulling away from his hand carefully.

“So, how’re we doing this?” he asked, his attention moving from you to the yelp of Tommy Hanson. You didn’t need to look to know that Carol Perkins was beating him with her bag again. That was a weekly occurrence.

“Write your stuff and hand it off to me in class. I’ll edit anything up till forty-eight hours before it’s due. I’ll give you my stuff when you give me yours.” You said quickly, crossing your arms tightly over your chest.

“Sounds cool,” Another cry from Tommy, this one more directed at Steve, drew his attention fully “Alright, I’m coming Hanson! See ya around.” He directed the farewell to you, bounding off towards the source of the sound. Even when his presence was gone, you still felt his fingertips on your arm.

Samantha threw her arm around your shoulders, rebooting your systems again. “Hey, what was that about?” she asked, leading you away from Mr. Lawrence’s classroom and towards the gym, her next destination.

“That was because you fucked me over.” You sighed. It was going to be a long month.

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gryfon-spanish-werewolf · 4 years

Note

About the frozen fandom ask :

🎨, ✍️, and 👗

P.s remember to get enough sleep~

@like-redhead-probably I got enough sleep I swear ;-; actually I overslept TBH

🎨- Favorite fanart(s)/ artist(s)?

I’m gonna limit my answers to those who are currently active in the fandom otherwise we will be here all day xD. Anyone who has seen my tags knows this to be true. My favorite fan artists are:

@giuliaciulia89 - because asdfghjklssh have you SEEN her line art?? And her expressions?? And how she does shading and color (with markers!! Traditional Art YO!!) literally is just... takes my breath away. Her recent Hogwarts Elsanna commission was absolutely delightful, but I am always delighted to see her original content as well such as her 101 Dalmatians au and her All For One And All For Love Three Musketeers au. It has so many mysteries, I’m very intrigued. Watching her process is very relaxing as well, like *sketch, sketch, sketch* and suddenly WHOA, there’s like, a whole concept outlines in no time at all. Incredible

@zero-kiba - because while much more active on Deviantart, I am ALWAYS extremely gay for Copper! That’s been going on 5 WHOLE YEARS Y’ALL! I stayed up until the sun started creeping through my windows catching up on every single page that I’d missed out after about 2017 when I started working full time. Zero-kiba’s work is BOMBASTICALLY expressive and really hits that mark between UTTERLY badass and heart-meltingly soft. Also do yourselves a favor and read their other works too! Tip of the Iceberg is Copper characters in a comedy setting, The Realm is 65 pounds of concentrated whoop-ass, and The Whole Shebang?? Gay has hell. Really gay. I cannot stress that enough (also it’s a little self plug - I help make that one alongside Zero-Kiba, daughterofhel and giuliaciulia89)

@ice-bjorn - because like.... do I even need to....expand?? Y’all have seen my tags. Ice-bjorn’s got the kind of content that just pulls you up short. Doing something? Concentrating? Not anymore you’re not! Ice-bjorn posted new art and you’re gonna FEEL ABOUT IT for the current conceivable future! Unbelievably emotive, you can see all the hard work that goes into each piece (including writing!!). I’ve gone OFF in my tags so many times about their stuff and I aLWAYS anticipate doing it again XD I can’t possibly pick a favorite piece, but this one gives me the warm fuzzies (Edit: although I did link another further down)

@jabs-wocks - because they constantly surprise me. One day ADORABLE! Next day ANGSTY. Next time? New style?? New type of coloring?? Always has a great sense of humor and unique ideas. Also, such an enabler xD Always makes me want to make something in turn <3 Like, remember when I went OFF with that angsty piece of Anna drowning after the dam collapses? Or when I nearly ditched my (already very long) project to idea bomb on about their Skadi!Elsa piece? Yeah, I love their work very much

@gracepago0314 - because I’m a long time fan from when they had a different username! Great style, strong short comics, and WOW have they come a long way! They already had such a strong aesthetic, but seeing their work at the top of 2020 was such a treat because it was SUCH a change! I loved seeing what I recognized about their unique style and getting to see all the ways they’ve improved and expanded! Also that reincarnation au goes straight for the heart ;-;

✍️- Favorite fanfic(s)/ author(s)?

Limiting my answer to the same for the same reasons. Many of my favorite authors are no longer active, but my heart is very big, and I am always making room for new stories and writers to love!

@fruipit - because every time I get an email from ao3 that they’ve updated I go ballistic. Every story I have ever read (or reread... many times) by them is just SO INCREDIBLE. Their writing makes me make bad decisions: like fighting sleep to make it through one last chapter xD Their work makes me ask questions, their stories flows like a needle and thread, their diction makes me believe. I have nothing but the highest praise for Fruipit’s work, they’ve been writing for years and continue to pick at that gentle thing called wonder. Choosing a favorite work of theirs is GENUINELY DIFFICULT, but I love Risky Business, Koselig, and When Spring Comes very much. Tiny Hearts is a riot tho xD Oh wait and Who Dares Wins! .....Look just... go read Fruipit, you won’t regret it xD

@arendellesfirstwinter - because after years and years they just bang out one badass story after another. Their most recent (and with the dawn, what comes then?) has reduced me to tears twice. No. Three times, I reread a chapter. Their writing is exceptionally raw and pointed, but they are never angsty for angst sake. Their prose has the kind of weight one gets from having a huge amount of intent and care for what they create, and the characters they foster along the way <3

@daughterofhel - because I enjoy the simple pleasures of comedy. Literally just makes me laugh. Her dialogue SLAPS. Her world building is effortless (well, it’s not, she works very hard but it FEELS effortless, which is quite the trick xD). Her stories just WORK, her scenes are so alive and colorful and I adore how she makes characters interact even under the most RIDICULOUS prompts xD Exceptionally creative and silly, I guarantee she will surprise you for the better

@themountainsays - because every story idea is completely fascinating. Even if it’s not like, written yet? Just idea bombing or musing? Totally cool, I love reading them because you can feel the excitement behind them. Or the spite xD. Ara’s writing is also almost lyrical, it’s lovely to read, and honestly? Read out loud too! I’m a huge fan of spoken poetry/spoken stories and Ara’s always gives me that vibe. I’m behind (orz) on Creatures of the Arctic, but it’s SO FUN, I’m always keen on updates :D

@theseerasures - because I adore their frohana stuff. So freaking much. Kristanna + Icebros with so much tenderness that I just stare at my screen and go “holy hell someone MADE that.” Reading their work is like... being given a soft blanket to wrap yourself in, receiving a mug of hot chocolate, and then being told “Okay, now here’s a story that’s going to make you feel feelings really hard,” and you kind of nod back like, “Okay, seems fair.” Idk man they just get me real good, every time. For years.

👗- Favorite outfit? One you’d like to see?

Picking a favorite is hard! But please for the love of god: bring Anna’s military-esque jacket/dress to the silver screen. Holy hell. I’m such a sucker for how absolutely DASHING Elsa and Anna look in masculine/military dress. @giuliaciulia89 and @ice-bjorn both here and here get me xD But I also love their highly feminine outfits? Anna’s coronation dress in F1 is a fav and of course Elsa’s ice-dress is iconic, but my absolute favorites? I don’t know, they’re all so beautiful...

Oh! You know what else I’d want? Casual wear. They’re always dressed up for adventure! Or a fancy party! Let the crew relax more! More day-to-day, more cozy pjs! Kristoff in a big oversized shirt, Elsa in Fifth-Spirit inspired sleepwear, Anna in clothes made by their new Northudran family - complete with little hexagons but like, lined with soft reindeer fur <3. I’d love to see them when the world isn’t falling down around their ears, for more than 5 minutes, please ;-;

Thanks again for asking!! I know this is a few days late but I hope my jabbering made up for it ^_^

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forestwater87 · 5 years

Note

Ok this is super embarrassing but you’re one of my favorite writers in this uh.. whatever this blogosphere is so!! I wanna try and take a crack at writing my own fanfic but.. I got no idea where to even start. Any advice?

Oh man, I feel awful about this! I didn’t know my inbox had any new messages, so some of these asks have been sitting here for . . . some time.

Anyway, first off thank you very much! Secondly, the most obvious advice is just, you know, “do it.” But that’s infinitely easier said than done. I started writing fanfic when I was around 10 years old, so overthinking it wasn’t an issue, since I thought I was the world’s greatest writer. Assuming you’re not 10 years old and as blind to the concept of literary criticism as I was . . . well, the first step is obviously getting an idea. EDIT: Holy shit, this is long. I’m gonna have to break this bad boy up with headers, like it’s a real blog post or something.

Getting Ideas/Inspiration

I don’t know if you already have something you’d like to write about or if you’re still at the “gee that looks like fun” level of fanfic ruminating, but if you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, turning to the existing fandom is a great place to start!

1: Filling in fandom gaps: I’ve found a lot of my best fic ideas by looking through what already existed and seeing where there was something missing; when I first started writing for Camp Camp, literally only @raenbowsofficial created anything for Gwenvid -- it didn’t even have a ship name yet, and I’m pretty sure the 3 people into it were still throwing “daven” and “gavid” around as well -- so there being zero other fics for it meant that if I wanted it to exist, I’d have to be the one to write it. (That’s also nice if you’re kind of insecure, because when no one else has tried the idea you’re interested in, you have no pressure to compare it to anything else.)

Also, you could take a popular/already existing concept and write it the way you’d like to see it, if the existing fanfics do something with the story or characters that you’re not thrilled with. That’s handy because it gives you a general blueprint to work off of in terms of tropes and broad story beats, while letting you explore something new. Obviously, don’t rip off someone else’s fic note-for-note, but being inspired by someone else is a great way to kickstart your creativity! If you do have a specific author or story that you’re using as a jumping-off point for your own writing, I would strongly recommend linking them in your author’s notes at the beginning or end of the fic, and maybe gifting the story to them! You don’t have to, since the creation is entirely your own, but it’s still always nice to acknowledge the people who inspire you the most.

2: Fandom inception. If you want to be a little more direct and literal, there’s always the option of writing fanfic of a fanfic or fanart that you really love, if there’s a universe or story idea that you like, and you want more of it. As long as you give credit and notify the original creator, I think you’d have no issues in terms of fanfic etiquette, and I imagine they’d be honored to have inspired your own writing. Fandom is a very collaborative experience, after all, and we’re all in this together! :)

3. For more general “I have a vague idea of what I want to do (the ship, or maybe a tiny plot bunny) but I’m not sure where to go with it,” my biggest recommendation is music. Especially folk indie-rock music, which is 90% angst and 100% haunting. And again, looking at fanfic/art is a great way to get inspired -- I have a tendency to put up a particularly good or emblematic piece of fanart/fic in another window when I’m working on something tricky to write, just for something to stare at when my ideas start running dry (shoutout to @doritofalls, @ellohcee, and the aforementioned RA for being my go-tos when I need to stare at something pretty to feel inspired; there are absolutely others, because this fandom is filled with absurdly talented people, but those 3 are my heroes of inspiration and if you SOMEHOW don’t already know them, fix that immediately).

Wow, that’s a lot and it’s literally just all about getting an idea . . . which you might already have. Yikes. For the sake of people who have to scroll past this, let’s put the rest under a cut:

Fleshing Out the Idea: An Ode to Outlines

Some people are able to just sit down and write something incredible from a vague idea, and the story just builds on itself without any sort of planning or organization to guide them along the way. These people are named Cipher/Campernetics, and we hate her for being unfairly talented.

For the rest of us, outlines are essential.

My outlines tend to be insanely specific, because I’m very afraid of letting a single idea slip through the cracks, and I build on them over time as I get increasingly sure of where the story’s going. The early outlines tend to be extremely vague, with lots of “and then something happens” connecting major plot points. An example for a current WIP I’m doing right now:

(Seriously, “Julia and everything”? Future Forest is going to be so pissed at current Forest when she reaches that point and realizes she has no idea what she’s doing)

And as the story starts to take shape and a plot eventually forms -- they tend to take at least 10 chapters to materialize, but they do generally show up! One of the great things about fanfiction is that plot is largely optional, though, so no worries if you’re starting without a full story idea -- I find myself writing more and more details down, if for no other reason than that I want to make sure I remember what I was thinking when I finally get to that scene (because I have absolutely gotten to a point in a story and forgotten what I’d had planned. It sucks). Here’s an example from another fic with pretty significant spoilers if you can figure out which one it is oops:

I’d recommend keeping your outlines pretty simple, at least to start with: words and phrases, rather than whole-ass sentences like the above. The complexity will develop as your ideas do, so no need to wrack your brain trying to write out the entire story in bullet form.

I use the bolded ideas as stepping stones, more or less; I’ll write out the piece of the story that each line represents, which can be as little as a sentence or as much as 4 or more chapters (RIP my most recent long-running fic), then delete that line and move on to the next.

Bolding them isn’t necessary, but it does make it easier to differentiate at a glance what needs to be written. If you keep everything in the same hundred-page Google Doc like I do, this is very important.

Your outline doesn’t have to be well-written, and you can 100% use fillers like “and then something happens here.” I do that all the time -- again, another completely different story:

Now, the vaguer things are, the more annoyed Future You will be when it comes time to write whatever it’s bulleting -- there’s a reason I haven’t updated this fic, and it’s because I have zero idea what the everliving fuck “Pinky-and-the-Brain-ing all over the place” means -- but it’s really good for when you’re first getting started sketching out the vague outline of your fic. The more you panic trying to figure out all the twists and details at the very start, the less likely you’re ever just going to sit down and write the damn thing.

(This might be why I don’t write plot-heavy stories, to be fair. Mystery writers very well might have to have it all planned out from the get-go, and I’d recommend chatting with someone who’s a bit less “coffeeshop AU” and a bit more Agatha Christie for that kind of advice.)

Knowing When to Post

There are people that exist, who have amazing self-control, who can wait until their entire story is written and then release it in sections, at regular intervals, until the story is completed.

I am not one of these people, though I try to be with literally every single fic I’ve ever written.

Personally, I do this until I reach a point where I get stuck and need validation, and then post what I have in a giant chunk and then don’t update it for several months. This is almost universally known as the worst way to write fanfics, both in terms of getting interaction from fans and keeping readers from wanting to kill you, and if you have the ability to write the entire thing and sit on it until it’s ready to be shared, you are a hero.

Alternatively, if you can actually stick to a set schedule of writing it as you go and still update with a new chapter every X days, you are not human and I’m terrified of you, because if you find a way to weaponize this power you will rule the world.

Honestly, a good rule of thumb? Post it when you’re ready for people to read it, whether it’s done or not. Not all works will get done, and it seems mean to deny people the delicious little stub you’ve written even if you’re not going to finish it. When you’re happy with what you have -- or are so tired of looking at it that you need to post it or you’ll throw your computer out the window -- just do it and let out a sigh of relief, then either take a few days before going back to writing or just jump in immediately like a goddamn masochist.

(I have tried to get far enough ahead that I can start posting the already-written stuff on a schedule, figuring by the time I’m caught up I’ll have completed the entire story and won’t have any awkward gaps. Ahahahahahahahahaha that has never once worked.)

If you’re not certain about your writing, get a beta! The fandom is full of talented people who’d be happy to read over your work, and if the person you ask doesn’t have the time or spoons, they probably have a few ideas of other people you could reach out to. You don’t need a beta, but it always makes me feel better to have another set of eyes look over my writing before posting, and my beta always catches things I completely missed. Plus, you get a nice taste of that sweet, sweet validation we all crave.

This . . . is a bad guide. Just in general. The advice is . . . not good, and I think it’s largely useless. But I keep trying to think of useful things to add to it and coming up empty, so I hope something in here helped, and if you’d like to bounce your ideas off of someone, feel free to shoot me a message! Talking ideas over with friends is a great way to flesh them out as well, and I am happy to be anyone’s fandom friend.

#ask forest #forestwriting #legit no one is going to read this and i'm not saying that to judge anyone #in fact i'll lowkey judge you if you DO read all of this because why #Anonymous

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the-blueish-trashcan · 5 years

Text

He’s in Charge; Chapter Two

Pairing: Henry/Bertrum

Warnings: [None yet]

A/N: I would like to say that I am not a poet. This chapter includes what is supposed to be sweet, cute poetry. It’s not good. Feel free to skip it. The in-story author of the poem is genuinely good with poetry. I am not. I am the suck poet here. Also.... I had to reformat and post this because mobile tumblr is ass.

Chapter word count: 2,508

{First part} {Previous part} {Next part}

Chapter Two; Bonding

“So with the design the way it is, the person playing the mascot wouldn't really be able to see…” Henry pointed to a sketch in his hand, walking through the warehouse with Bertrum just behind him. “What we could do is change the material in the eyes and make the mask smaller, which would also get this a little closer to the actual model…”

“That may be better than what we have, and possibly cheaper, as well.” Bertrum responded. “We already have a few prototypes in, just back here.” He pointed the animator towards a small room behind some of the game booths.

The room itself was small, with only enough room in it for two or three people at a time. It was dimly lit, as well, only one fluorescent light pinned to the wall with wires exposed. The light, as well as the dirt floor, told Henry that the room was far from finished. Though that’s not what Bertrum wanted him to see; No, the attraction of the room was pinned to the wall, and laid out on the small metal workbench against the wall. Three prototype mascot suits with massive heads and mesh mouths hung from hooks on the wall, one sitting up on the bench. At the sight of them, Henry felt a shiver go up his spine.

“These are… uhm, creepy.” He carefully voiced. “Just, you know… just saying! If I think it’s creepy, kids may not like it…” He justified soon after.

At his tone, Bertrum gave him a strange look. “Don’t be so nervous, your feedback is very important. I was afraid that would be the case, my team just did what was simple at the time. I’ll get them your newer design and hopefully that will yield a more… friendly mascot.” He placed a hand on Henry’s shoulder, causing the shorter man to flinch ever so slightly. “I’ll let you know when we get them in.”

“Are… you going to tell Joey about this?” Henry asked as Bertrum led him away from the room again.

Bertrum waved his hand. “Drew doesn’t know they’re here to begin with, he won’t know I’ve had them switched.”

Henry relaxed ever so slightly. “Good… That’s good.”

“You know, Henry,” Bertrum began, turning to him. “I was thinking about perhaps having other mascots, seeing as you have more than one character. I’ve drawn up concepts for them, if you’d like to look at them.” He paused, but before Henry could reply, he started speaking again. “I know you’re a very busy man, so perhaps we could discuss more over dinner?”

Henry’s eyebrows went up, his eyes widening. “Oh, uhm… sure, that sounds nice, actually.”

Bertrum offered a warm smile. “Wonderful.”

*****

That night, Henry arrived at the restaurant Bertrum specified with a sheaf of papers in his arms. As he stepped in the glass doors, he found the designer waiting for him. He offered a smile.

“I'm glad you're able to meet with me, Henry. I think it's important to maintain a good relationship outside of the work environment.”

“You know, I think you're onto something there.” Henry returned a hesitant smile as a waiter in a three-piece suit lead them to a table for two. A small menu was handed to them both, Henry setting his papers as far to the side as he could.

Once their drink and appetizer orders were taken, Bertrum spoke up. “Have you been here before?”

Henry chuckled. “Well, no… it's a little above my normal price range, if I'm honest…”

“I think it's very worth it, the food is as high quality as they want you to believe. The wine, too, if you'd like to give it a try?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, no, no, I don't think so… I don't drink a lot, especially when I'm working.” At his words, he turned back to his papers. “So… I really liked those concepts you gave me earlier, I’ve been working on them for a little while…”

*****

By the time the waiter was bringing the pair a dessert menu, which they both declined, Henry had been rambling for a good hour or more between bites of dinner. Bertrum, however, only looked interested in what he had to say, his chin resting in the palm of one hand and a small smile on his lips. When the bill was placed on the table, Henry idly reached for it. However, a hand much larger than his own stopped him, causing the animator to look up.

“Please, let me pay.” Bertrum voiced.

“What? No, I can't let you do that, at least split it with me.” Henry tried.

“I insist, let me. Please?” The gentle look on the man's face contrasted the determined look in his eyes.

Henry sighed. “Alright, fine… But I'm leaving the tip.”

“Nonsense.” Bertrum waved him off, scribbling on to the paper, then setting a five and three two-dollar bills with it.

Henry tried to hide the surprised look on his face. “You didn't have to do that…”

“And yet I did.” He stated with a smirk.

“I suppose we should get going, then. I really appreciate being able to meet with you outside of work, I feel like I don't have to be looking over my shoulder every minute.” He started stuffing papers back into his folder, throwing a smile up at Bertrum. “Did you want to hang onto these now that I've made some adjustments?”

“That may be best, yes. I can get them to my teams as soon as possible tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Outside, despite the papers clutched in one arm, Bertrum held the door open for the animator, who quietly thanked him.

“I would like to do this again sometime soon, Henry. Perhaps not with so much work mixed in.” Bertrum's hand came to rest on the small of Henry's back, moving down the short sidewalk with him towards the parking lot.

Henry didn't try to shake him off, but gave him a baffled look. “What do you mean?”

“I simply want to get to know you better. You have a sharp mind, and just the right sense of humor. Surly there’s more to you than ink, paper and cartoons.”

Henry's eyes shifted to watch his shoes. “Oh, you would think that…” By then, the two had arrived by Henry's car, a slightly used white Lambda. Bertrum's hand fell away from his back.

“Have a good night, Henry.” The designer spoke fondly.

“Thank you, you too.” Henry responded cheerfully, sliding into the driver's seat.

*****

Two days later, after taking time off over the weekend, Henry arrived back at the studio before anyone else, even Wally Franks. He turned on the lights near his desk and in the break room, immediately going there to make a batch of coffee.

Caffeine in hand, he set to work, only to find a lone piece of paper folded neatly on his desk. His full name was scrawled across it in elegant letters, ever so slightly smudged. Setting his mug down, he took the paper between his thumb and forefinger, unfolding it. Inside, centered on the page, lines of more precise words. They read,

Artist's hands, Artist's pens,

do you treat the day so well?

Mind your self, mind your mind,

so you think yourself fair.

In glass, see as one should,

orchid in golden light.

Fire deep in heart, coals go warm,

let one close, without being burned.

Feel your warmth, through the nights,

linen cold no longer.

At peace, we rest, perhaps soon together.

Henry tilted his head at the words, not quite sure what to make of them. He had a vague idea of what it could all mean, but even so, why had someone given it to him? And with the paper unsigned, it just confused him more. Briefly, he considered Bertrum, who he'd had dinner with recently, but… No, he couldn't think of why the designer would write something like that for him, of all people. He also considered it a mistake, but his name on the front said otherwise. He shook his head, folding the paper back up and setting it on the shelf below his workspace. He had other things to worry about for the time being.

*****

By mid morning, most of the other staff members had arrived. He could tell just by the noise starting up in the studio, between the projectors and the faint sounds of the music department below. Having the time to work uninterrupted was a blessing to him, but that all ended when a familiar voice came up the hall.

“Henry!” Joey chimed, approaching the desk. “How's the new episode coming along?”

Henry sighed internally, but didn't turn around. He felt Joey lean over his shoulder to watch him work. “It's coming along just fine, Mister Drew. Right on schedule.”

“Great! Glad to hear it's nearly done, then!” Joey made to walk off, but Henry whipped around.

“What do you mean? I'm only half done with this, there's another two weeks before the deadline...”

Joey blinked. “No, the deadline's in four days. I told you about that, didn't I? We're a little strapped for cash, we need to put the episodes out faster.”

Henry sighed outwardly this time, through his nose. “I think you failed to mention it.”

“Hm. Oh well. Just keep at it! Work hard, work happy! Then I won't have to dock your pay.” The last line he spoke was much darker, more serious than the jaunty voice he normally used. It made Henry flinch, but then he was alone at his desk again. He struggled to make ends meet as it was, he couldn't afford an argument with Joey.

*****

Henry decided against taking a lunch hour, instead trying his hardest to get his work done. He'd already accepted that he would probably be spending a good amount of the night there as well.

“Heya, Henry!” A Brooklyn accent called across from Henry's desk.

Knowing the voice, Henry waved without looking up. “Hi, Wally. How are you?”

“Same ol’, same ol’, different day.” Wally moved closer to the animator so he wouldn't have to raise his voice as much.

“Hey, by any chance, did you see anyone around my desk while I wasn't here? Someone left this for me and I can't figure out who.” Then, Henry set down his pen and held the letter up for Wally to see.

Wally's bright green eyes squinted as he leaned closer. “I didn’ see anybody over hea, no. What's it say?”

Henry's face flushed a bit. “It's a poem. I'm not sure I'm interpreting it right, but…” He trailed off, allowing the janitor to take it and read over it.

“I can tell ya this; I ain't the smartest, but ta me, this sounds like somebody's sweet on ya. You dunno who wrote it?”

“Not a clue.” Henry replied convincingly.

“Maybe it was one'a the gals downstairs. Th’ writin’ sure looks like it.”

“You really think?”

“Yeah, any’a th’ girls downstairs left-handed?”

Henry tilted his head. “Does that matter?”

Wally nodded. “Yeah, lookit th’ way th’ ink’s smudged.” Henry looked at the letter again. “Whoeva wrote it did it with their left hand.” To emphasize, he held up his gloved left hand and wiggled his fingers.

“You know, you may be onto something there, Wally.” Henry tilted his head, hoping the janitor really was.

“Yep! And tha’s my one good idea for th’ day, don’ ask me for anythin’ else!” The janitor gave a wink, making Henry let out a hardy laugh.

*****

By nearly ten that night, Henry found himself making decent progress on the newest cartoon. However, it came at the price of feeling relaxed, or rested. His eyes burned, and a deep ache went all the way up from his hips to the base of his skull. The only light left on was the one above his desk, one of his hands gripped his hair while the other inked in his sketches. He was focused so hard on the drawing in front of him that he didn’t notice the heavy footsteps coming closer. A voice caught his attention, but didn’t pull it away.

“Still working?” Bertrum questioned.

“I have to.” Henry replied numbly.

The designer hummed. “You look awfully tense. When was the last time you had a break?”

“I couldn’t take breaks today.” Henry shook his head ever so slightly. When hands landed on both his shoulders, though, he froze, sitting back from his work.

“You’re taking one now.”As Bertrum began to gently massage his shoulders and neck, Henry felt himself practically melt. He let his hands fall into his lap, his eyes closing. After a few long, silent moments, Bertrum spoke again. “Go home. You need sleep.”

“Well so do you.” Henry countered, turning in his chair.

Instead of his usual suit, Bertrum was wearing a plain white t-shirt, which he’d obviously sweated through. His arms and clothes were smeared with dirt, and what could have been ink or machine oil. Dressed in such a way, it was easy to see that his normally formal clothes hid well-toned muscles. “Yes, I know… I was just on my way out. Walk with me?”

“I really can’t…” The animator sighed.

Bertrum’s expression turned firm. “You can’t stay here all night.”

Henry shrugged in return. “I have before, it’s not a big deal. I have a deadline to meet.”

“You’re practically falling asleep in front of me. Go home, Henry. No deadline can be that important. What’s Drew going to do if you miss it?”

“Dock my pay.” Henry mumbled.

At that point, Bertrum leaned down to meet his eyes, a hand on his shoulder again. “So you leave, and take your characters with you. Suddenly he has no animator, no cartoons, and you have plenty of companies that want you. Right?”

Henry’s gaze shifted away. “I’d need a really good lawyer if I want my characters back, and no one’s even heard of me.”

“Sue Drew, and everyone will know your name. Besides, if you need a lawyer, I could provide you with one.”

Henry tilted his head. “Why would you do that? No, you know what, I shouldn’t even be considering this. I have work to do. I really appreciate your concern, but-”

“Don’t make me carry you out of here.” He snapped.

“Excuse me?” Henry's voice become more confused than upset.

“If I must, I will.” Bertrum crossed his arms.

“I don't think you even could. Please, just leave me be. I'll be fine, you should go home.” Henry’s last attempt had him waving off the whole thing. It seemed his insistence paid off, as well. Bertrum sighed.

“Fine. But do, please, go home soon. Good night, Henry.”

“Good night, Bertrum.” It was only after the designer had left and Henry had gone back to work that something clicked in his mind. Though no one was around to lighten, he spoke aloud. “What was he even doing up here so late if he didn’t know I was here?”

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ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade · 5 years

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Zines, Dawn of the Future Blitz, & Future ISEB Updates

One day I’ll have an update for my followers that’ll involve, you know, actual content. But in the famous words of Aragorn, “It is not this day.” ಥ‿ಥ I do, however, have a few tidbits of info I’ve accumulated over the past couple months that I’m overdue to share, so here are the deets:

~Zines~

Having grown frustrated with myself for learning about many awesome FFXV fanzines too late in the process to participate in, I vowed that 2019 would be the year I would finally apply for one. @cosmogonyzine was the first one brought to my attention, for which I promptly submitted my application; not long after, @everatyoursidezine showed up on my radar and—in an effort to increase my chances of landing any zine gig—I applied for that one too; I had barely hit the send button for my Ever At Your Side application before the mother of all Ignis zines, @sagefirezine, was announced—which, obviously, was a calling I simply could not ignore.

Hoping to get into at least one of the aforementioned zines, my applications ended up being accepting into all of them, which might sound like the world’s most thinly-veiled humblebrag except for the fact that the final due dates for each zine are all within two weeks of each other and I just spent a good chunk of my available drawing time eschewing responsibility and not working on anything while I was off on my little jaunt through Japan. But I’m back now, and despite having bit off a bit more than I can comfortably chew, I’ve been working diligently on delivering some exciting concepts for each zine. Here’s a little rundown of each one:

Cosmogony: Dawn of a New Age

Who: 12 artists & 12 writers

What: A zine focusing on the different eras of Eos, beginning with the Fall of Solheim and continuing through the Dawn of a New Age

When: Preorders open in June

Why: Without spilling any details, I’d like to thank the mods for accommodating my request and letting me draw what I draw best! :3

Ever At Your Side: A FFXV Friendship Fanzine

Who: 25 artists & 10 writers

What: A zine focusing on the theme of friendship in Final Fantasy XV

When: Preorders open in June

Why: This zine really spoke to me because of its appeal to shippers and non-shippers alike. Not only will I be contributing a full-sized piece to this zine, but I’ve volunteered to create a sticker sheet for it as well!

Sagefire: An Ignis Scientia Fanzine

Who: 25 artists, 5 writers, 5 cosplayers & 5 merchandise artists

What: A tribute zine dedicated solely to everyone’s favorite strategist

When: Preorders are currently open!

Why: ಠ_ಠ

~Dawn of the Future Blitz~

As if my April calendar wasn’t already scheduled down to the minute, I was tapped by @landscape-gonna to create an illustration for a fan blitz she is organizing; the blitz is planned for the same day the Dawn of the Future novel is due for release in Japan (April 25th), and participants include artists, modders, and cosplayers from around the globe. I can’t say more than that at the moment, but I suspect it will coincide with the big push from fans worldwide to send messages of thanks and gratitude to FFXV’s developers—you have until April 20th to fill out this form if you want to send you own message of thanks!

~Future ISEB Updates~

This is the part of my post where I try to predict what the future of this blog holds, which admittedly sounds a little despairing but I assure is not really that ominous—mostly I just want to get a feel for what you guys would like to see from me once I’ve wrapped up the last of my zine pieces in May.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve added any new merchandise to my store, so my first thought was a new set of acrylic charms. Enamel pins have also been on my mind for a while now, and I’ve gotten permission from at least one of the zines I’m in to sell prints of my own piece at a later date. I’m certainly open to other merch ideas (I’m not sure if the internet needs yet another Ignis daki, but if enough people clamored for one, I wouldn’t rule it out); I’m also considering doing a small run of my older Ignis charms, so feel free to sound off in the comments if that’s something you’d be interested in.

Other than that, you can still count on me for future Ignis sketches/drawings/content! ٩( ᐛ )و @dizzymoogle actually posed an interesting question on Twitter recently that has inspired me to possibly take up writing fanfiction again. Just as soon as I finish these zine pieces ;_;

Twitter || ISEB Store

#ignis scientia #cosmogonyzine #everatyoursidezine #sagefirezine #ffxv

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pensurfing · 5 years

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Tearing Down Other Illustrators Does Not Make You A Better Illustrator.

The title says it all. But you’d be surprised how many mutuals I have that just get a sick kick out of “giving critiques that destroy a person’s whole being” simply because “it happened to them”.

[[Jesus where to begin where to begin? Maybe disclaimers? Sure. At some point in the post, it will go from my calm, cool, collected tone to “I will cut a bitch’s throat”. If it hurts your feelings then that means the kitchen is too hot for you (probably because you do said nonsense) and now you gotta leave. Go sit, cool off, and then maybe try again. Probably when you’re a better person.]]

Let’s take it back to school:

In school, I failed at being a girl: mainly because I just failed to do ‘girl code’ things because I questioned it a LOT. Some girl code things make sense mind you, but not all of it. One of the girl codes that I questioned was “why are we being mean to the other girl if she didn’t DO anything and especially if she didn’t do anything to you?” Bam. The new target, me. It wasn’t anything I was ashamed about, I just don’t see the need of tearing someone down because they sit outside of your normal. Basically, the undertone of this experience is this: As a girl, if you made fun of other girls, it somehow magically made you prettier and more desired by your crush.” But you learn in grade school that this is not the case, and you especially learn in high school that this made you “a bitch”. Now fast forward a bit, looking back as an adult what were you supposed to learn from this? Girls pick on other girls usually when whatever little power they have is being challenged. Girls can also pick on other girls simply because they find the other girl pretty as well and this causes yet another inferiority complex. It will usually continue for a while simply because no one wants to question the ‘status quo’.

Why did I bring all of this into play?

As an illustrator, there is such a thing as a genuinely great critique. Great critique states things APPRECIATED about the piece; things that can be better about the piece; and solutions to the piece that the then illustrator can then either use as advice or just take it as the critique it is.

Then there’s just what I will call ‘straight bad-mouthing critique’. Nothing good to say about the piece, the person actually sits there and asks did the artist put eFfOrT into it. Tells them to just ‘draw more’. And some that just ‘rip the art to shreds’. Nothing good or positive. Said person will even go on to just insulting not only the piece but the artist and their character. How did we go from ‘the piece in question’ to just calling the artist a terrible person for attempting to draw a ‘insert whatever it was here’?

I do not give out the perfect critiques. Where someone will see ‘bad anatomy’ I’ll see ‘an attempt at foreshortening, and if they just...’ and I could go on. I see a bright color palette and warm tones in someone’s portfolio, someone else will see it as “you use to similar of colors and you need to get better at setting the mood with color in your pieces.” A difference of opinions is one thing, and it is up to the artist in question to decide which is more helpful. This is a different case and is USUALLY inspiring to create more variety to demonstrate your skills. What I no longer think I can tolerate is just words that do not fit into the situation or critique at hand.

I have examples:

I went to a portfolio review and had my artwork looked at by some professionals in the industry. (More professional than my...attempts... LOL! i’M a pRoFeSsIoNaL.) The main push for this was a couple ‘critiques’ that just weren’t helpful, useful, or even good.

I had five pieces presented to said ‘it’s a coin flip’ critiquers: Designs, Finished pieces, Sketches, WIPs, Roughs, I mean I gave em a LOAD to look at. I sent this to a couple groups where we bounce around ideas and I have left them all and have not regretted a single moment of it. Out of the three I sent them to, two straight up ignored them. (I’m used to my artwork being ignored by my peers at this point. I haven’t gotten any feedback whatsoever to where now I just assume they do not like my art style and just choose to not say anything because it’ll come out wrong.) One group only made the comment that not only rubbed the wrong way but in a way took down a community(?) “It looks furry erotica. Only they would like this.” ((Paraphrasing, but only slightly. The tone towards furries was something I was not ignoring.)) Do not use furies as some group to be looked down upon. And if they’ll like it then dammit I’m printing it. I’m an equal opportunity money grabber here babe.

“Hey Cait, her leg looks a bit short.” “Hey Cait, the colors here are awkward.” anything along these lines that actually were wrong with the piece could have helped.

I don’t draw NSFW stuff (I should at this point. It’ll be my step before becoming a stripper.) But no other comment besides that per se doesn’t help encourage or fix what could possibly be wrong. I’ve had a share of bad critiques, but this one was just useless. I stopped showing my pieces in WIPs and rough stages because I just genuinely didn’t get good feedback EVER. It came off as: Caitlin your ideas are slipping, they suck... Caitlin this is just another black girl, what’s your deal? Well damn sway, sorry my black ass drawing black ass art is bothering you. I almost was sick of it.

Now here is the portfolio review time by pros:

I go to it thinking “I’m just going to get my portfolio reviewed. No way am I good enough to stand in line for the job fair(s) going on.” So I got my reviews, the results? “Hey, I see you really enjoy backgrounds and telling stories with your finished pieces. Why don’t you draw more interiors so that way it cohesively harmonizes together better? It does great now, but you’d do pretty well adding more interiors.” “Wow, your linework is so crisp. Have you tried this technique? You have with recent pieces, great! Lets network.” “Your color choices are breathtaking. Here’s a tiny corner where your craftsmanship failed a bit, try buffing up this corner a bit.”

Good critiques, useful stuff! I was so pumped you know what I did? Went to the job fair half. My results? I have piles of individual business cards and personal. My professional network grew. (I guess I should log in and add things to Linkedin huh?) and I got a single big toe wet. (Not a foot in the door, not feet wet, just that one toe. But hey, ripples start waves. And as a surfer, you just gotta wait for the perfect wave ok?)

I hadn’t gotten a good critique since college. In college, I will commend my professor for teaching this: How to give a good critique. Did some of my colleagues forget how to do this step? Yes. Do some forget that it isn’t their piece of concept and you can’t make someone DO anything? You bet. But it’s just a shame how with mutuals it’s “Caitlin your art isn’t great and is too black.” versus the reviews and studios that gave me the thumbs up and said, “call me later, otherwise I’m calling you later.”

Now do I think there is a slow “status quo” complex going on in my mutuals because now I’m no longer the sucky drawer? Yes and that’s a new rant for a different post. Does tearing down my artwork help theirs get better? Hell nah fam. They don’t even practice what they preach.

I said all of this to say: I can’t stand people in ANY group of friends, art group, a community who does this. I can not. What do you benefit? Did your house get bigger? Is your butt bigger? Are you prettier? Is your artwork studio quality? Did a pile of money just land in your lap?

No. It never works that way.

I started this habit to test out my theory and only one friend has caught on; that one still has my respect. After getting a bs critique, I’ll always ask how a person is doing and they’ll go on about how their day-to-day isn’t as good as usual. The one friend that caught on and I quote: “Woah Cait, I’m sorry. I took my frustration on you, let me look at this on another day when I’m in a better mood.” And guess what? She did. Gave a USEFUL critique and we moved forward.

Sometimes if you're not in the mood to critique DO NOT DO IT.

I repeat:

If you are in a bitchy mood, do not destroy someone because your life sucks and you wanna take a massive shit on someone else. Doing so isn’t going to fix whatever is wrong in your world. It isn’t going to give you a large sum of money and isn’t going to make you a better illustrator. Do not take the phrase “tearing down the ‘competition’ so literally.

“Caitlin, are you sure you’re just bad at getting critique?”

Nah. I’m bad at taking BS critique and pointless comments anymore and said critiquers themselves are just upset that I’m no longer being a doormat for whatever is wrong in their life. Other illustrators feel the same way too.

“Caitlin, why do you look for critiques and get mad at people who don’t give good ones?”

Anyone in any field can acknowledge the fact that when you stare at something too long, you start to blur the object in question together. Is it finished, are there major flaws? A simple solution is just getting a fresh set of eyes to look it over. In any aspect of life: choices you made, something you’re prepping to cook, a document you’re writing, and guess what? A piece someone is drawing. It is a prosaic and even instinctual action to share and express ourselves with others for a response. Look at all the billionaires who invented social media.

We as a community need to start treating each other better. And when someone asks for a critique, follow these instructions that were on so many damn elementary school walls but cleARLY we need these put somewhere again.

Be better dolls. Be good and make good choices. This is the last text post I’m writing today.

TRD: There are some people who still don’t think before they speak and I see it too often in my own life too. So I’m saying something about it. A reminder for something you learned in grade school: Being mean to other girls won’t make you prettier just like tearing down other illustrators and their artwork won’t make you a better illustrator.

#art rant #rant #critique #art community #Illustration #pensurfing #personal rant don't mind me #hungry and irritated

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spiffyworks · 6 years

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Artist’s Software Surfing P1 - Sketching

SSSo recently, after finishing (an admittedly long-overdue) a piece, I decided to download a trial of the new Corel Painter 2019. I hadn’t used Painter since my old DeviantArt days (circa 2005) and wanted to see how it felt with more digital art-veteran hands. Loaded it up, started sketching my default doodle-muse and wow, that “Real 2B” pencil feels great. I loved it so much, and wondered why.

That’s the story that is spawning this weird personal series of Software Surfing. I wanted to write little notes to future-me on how it felt using my favorite sketching tools in each program I have, and after the sixth one I thought it might be a good idea to check out inking, colouring, painting, etc. and writing those down as well.

So I’m writing this series for myself, but making it available in case anyone else can benefit as well. Thanks for sticking with the intro, let’s get into it.

Artist’s Software Surfing P1 - Sketching Artist’s Software Surfing P2 - Inking Artist’s Software Surfing P3 - Colouring Artist’s Software Surfing P4 - Painting

There are many ways to sketch, but this is specifically the classic “pencil” or “drawing” form using the tools with the program’s default settings.

As an introduction, this is my doodle-muse, Cloey. She was my first original character, and though I don’t usually share my anthro art on here (I know that’s not everyone’s thing) I do have a separate blog for that stuff that you can find here if you’re so inclined. If you’re familiar with Artgerm (and you should be), she’s basically my Pepper.

Corel Painter’s “Real 2B”:

The one that started it all. The pencil just GLIDES, and I’ve always loved when you can tilt a pencil tool and it will shade just like tilting a real-life pencil. The only thing I want from a program now is to be able to bind touch to blenders so I can use my finger to smudge-blend the scribbling. (I tried drawing that fist so many times /fume)

Likes: Tilt functionality, line width variance, stroke speed, eraser Dislikes: Rebinding Rotate Canvas tool was a pain. I like Shift+Space, and that key combo is reflected in the shortcut panel, but it just continued to pan. Never worked for me, and rotating or flipping the page quickly is crucial for my sketching process. Also sometimes if I quickly resize the eraser and mash it down to use, it won’t detect any input.

Photoshop, Kyle Webster’s “2B” & “Animator Pencil”:

**Disclaimer** Firstly, I’ve used Photoshop for over 15 years now, and it’s a great digital art tool, but for drawing and painting I find it’s sorely lacking. It’s slow, expensive, and unintuitive. That being said, there are some things this program does exclusive to others so I’m still clinging to it (desperately) and while I would definitely recommend something else for budding digital artists, I have to supplement my misgivings by purchasing additional plugins and tools, such as the famed Kyle T Webster’s Ultimate Megapack for Photoshop (

which is now complementary with Photoshop CC, damnit

). Unless otherwise noted, all the brushes I use in Photoshop will be from that pack. **End Disclaimer**

Following off the heels of Corel, I remembered messing around with another “2B” (which btw is my personal favorite traditional pencil to sketch with) in Kyle Webster’s Drawing Box in Photoshop. It felt a bit similar, but with no tilt functionality and it really lacked the chunky-thickness (a scientific term) I enjoyed with Painter’s pencil. I switched to my favorite (and the favorite of MANY digital artists btw) his “Animator’s Pencil”. So chunky, but the ability to shade lightly... It’s really a fun brush to use for sketching digitally. Still one of my absolute favorites.

Animator Pencil Likes: Line width variance, texture fills in and scales perfectly Dislikes: It’s a photoshop exclusive, a program that for some reason you can’t bind shortcuts to whatever you please, takes forever to load, and WAY too often suffers input lag while drawing. Also no tilt shading, :’( aw

Paintstorm’s “Textured Pencil” & “Pencil Tilt”

As a bit of an aside, I love Paintstorm, Paintstorm is what got me back into digital drawing and painting after doing 3D and game design for 7 years. I bought it for the very low price of entry (2 licenses for $30) and was impressed by its ability to customize literally anything in the program. You can create your own tool/brush boxes, bind any shortcut to any key combination, and every single brush tool adjustment comes with the most customization control of any program I’ve come across since Photoshop set the bar way back in the day. Out of the box a lot of the basic brushes have that old OpenCanvas or PaintTool Sai feel, but more recently they’ve added some very textured default brushes you can play around with. It’s also hands-down the FASTEST program I’ve ever worked in. I highly recommend giving it a try, it’s great for learning and experimentation. I grew a lot working in Paintstorm.

The Textured Pencil is a fun sketching brush, you can get as think or thick as you’d want and it keeps a clean outline. The Pencil Tilt really blew my mind the first time I used it. YOU CAN SHADE! It was the first time I had ever seen a program do that. The tilt has a great texture, fantastic control, and gets just as dark as you’d need. I’d recommend using them both, the Textured Pencil for a cleaner sketch, and the Pencil Tilt for something more expressive or loose.

Krita’s Ink-Tilt & “Sketch”:

I’ll be honest, I have almost no experience in Krita despite having downloaded and given it a try back in 2014. It was a hell of a time to figure out how to rebind my usual shortcuts (flip horz, rotate canvas). I couldn’t even rebind colour grab/eyedropper. Yikes. I opened up the “Sketching” brush box and there were only two options, made worse as one was a sketch pen... That lacked the flexibility of ballpoint.

First I grabbed the pencil dubbed “Sketch” and was bewildered why the size of the circle was so large compared to the mark it made. Very confusing. Feeling intimidated, I abandoned it immediately to try out the “ink_tilt” (which by the way there’s no tilt functionality??) and hated it. I reluctantly went back to the pencil and just started trying to make marks. Wow. It’s weird, but surprisingly fun. You have to be willing to relinquish a LOT of control, but the shapes the brush makes while moving and tilting during a stroke can yield some really interesting and suggestive shapes. I would say great for early concepting or making something really loose and expressive. Fun to play with, but not really practical.

Clip Studio Paint’s Real Pencil & Rough Pencil

I’ve been wholly immersed in CSP since I purchased the program back in late 2016. It goes on sale often, so you can pick up a nice fully featured program for ~$35. I’d had my eye on it for a while and still really want to get into self-publishing comics, so I picked it up, bought a couple of brush packs for it (it’s pretty lacking in default painting tools) and I’ve been illustrating in it ever since. The brush creation isn’t as fun as Paintstorm, but brushes are quite customizable. I usually like to use the “Rough Pencil” if I want just a little texture and line variance, or the “Darker Pencil” for something cleaner. Trying to be different, I just jotted out a couple heads in ones I don’t normally use, the Real Pencil and Design Pencil. The Real Pencil has a lot of texture, but for some reason in CSP the textures don’t seem to scale with the brush, so I tend to avoid using it in most cases. I hate the design pencil, I just could never get dark enough. I guess that’s probably the point, though.

Well, that definitely wraps this digest up. I feel refreshed after trying out a lot of new digital sketching brushes. I was really reminded of how much I enjoyed drawing in Paintstorm. I hope someone other than me found this useful or otherwise inspiring! Sometimes, especially if you’re stuck in some art blockage, it’s a good idea to try something new, and for me digitally that’s hopping programs and trying new brushes.

I’m thinking about doing inks, colours, and painting at some point. Let me know if anyone’s interested in those! I’m planning on doing some for myself eventually, but I might expedite a post if anyone is interested. o/ Take it easy, y’all.

Artist’s Software Surfing P1 - Sketching Artist’s Software Surfing P2 - Inking Artist’s Software Surfing P3 - Colouring Artist’s Software Surfing P4 - Painting

#process #sketching #software #guide

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thedefinitionofbts · 7 years

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A Thousand Centuries

Pairings: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Soulmate Au

Words: 5k

Description: A Seokjin soulmate au requested by @marsmellowl85

A/N: My first Jin fic!!!! Mars, thank you for always supporting my writing so enthusiastically. I hope you like this one!

Have you ever wondered if you were unknowingly looking for someone?

You were told as a kid that your perfect partner is out there somewhere. That one day they’ll come and take you away like a Disney prince or the male lead of every romantic movie, and that they would always love you for who you are, unconditionally. But as you grew older, you realized that the world is not that perfect dream-like fantasy and fairytales are just therapeutic stories, no more, no less. And that the existence of a soulmate, that thing that you’ve heard about since you were young and the idea that people continue to take delight in fantasizing over, is nothing but a simplistic adolescent dream.

You didn’t think it would be something you’d ever believe in, and certainly not after you grew out of daydreaming about fictional stories and imaginary scenarios. After all, it was just an idealistic concept, something that isn’t meant to be seriously considered because it went against all logic.

But then you met him.

A man as beautiful as the flowers that bloom in the middle of spring, their colors scattered throughout endless fields and vibrant meadows, telling centuries worth of emotions and memories that are as visceral as the ones located in that inexplicable place within yourself.

“Do you want to be partners?”

You lift your head to the source of the voice, eyes slowly tracing along the silhouette of the person standing next to you. He awaits patiently for your response, eyelids blinking gently as your lips part slowly at the sight of him.

“S-sure” You stutter, realizing you had been staring at him in silence for longer than you should have.

His face breaks into a gentle smile, one that makes your heart suddenly tug in a way that it has never done before. “Great! My name is Kim Seokjin.”

“Y/N” You reply lightly, still looking at him in mild disbelief.

He pulls up a chair and sits down next to you, the elegant scent of his cologne filling the air between you, instantly throwing you back to a dream you had experienced not too long ago, one in which you were wandering in a flower garden, holding the hand of a man whose face you could not see.

“I was thinking we could design a park” His voice cuts through your momentary lapse.

Your thought bubble bursts, and you’re back to realizing you’ve yet again been staring at him for longer than you should.

“A-a park?” You utter nervously, mentally scolding yourself for being so out of focus one the first day of Architecture class. This was very unlike you’re usual on-top-of-things self, and the professor had even mentioned just moments ago that this project would count for 50% of your final grade. In your defense, you also hadn’t planned on having the most popular guy in your year to ask you to be project partners.

“Yeah, like Central Park in New York City” He explains. The voices of the other students who were paired up in the classroom are drowned out completely as you observed the way he pulls a notebook and pen out of his backpack to make design plans and sketches. “I know it’s mostly landscape architecture, but I think we can get really creative with designing castles, bridges, fountains and other structural elements.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” You manage to say without stuttering and making a fool out of yourself for once. “Central Park was what actually inspired me to major in architecture.” You confess, using it as more of a conversation filler than anything.

“Really?” Seokjin’s eyes light up and his mouth opens in astonishment. “Me too! My parents took me there for vacation when I was young, and it was amazing!”

His full body reaction surprises you, making you forget how to respond because you were wondering how in world his demeanor had changed from being calm and collected to something so…animated. You actually have to suppress an oncoming laugh, opting to just let out a small giggle instead.

“So we should probably get started as soon as possible,” You suggest, feeling much more comfortable now that he’s made you laugh so effortlessly.

He takes a second to ponder over your proposition. “Are you free this weekend?”

“Yeah”

“Great!”

…

Kim Seokjin was everything you had expected him to be. His soft and delicate features were physical traits that would be the object of envy for anyone who had the fortune of laying eyes on such a breathtakingly beautiful man, but his playful and uplifting personality revealed a duality that could only be described as fitting for someone so unique.

He was a man who carried a type of aura that gave off the undeniable impression that you’ve known him for a long, long time, like the scent of home or the warmth of companionship. And it made you feel like you finally understood what it meant to meet a person that you had an air of familiarity with, despite the fact that your encounter with him had happened only recently.

“We should start from the edges and work our way towards the center.” Seokjin says as the two of you sit the in studio with your sketches splayed out on the long table. The glass walls of the building were crystal clear, allowing the sunlight from outside to penetrate into the room as masterpieces were born out of boundless imagination.

“What do you think the theme of this section should be?” You inquire, peering over at the piece he was working on.

“Young earth at the beginning of time” He whispers, gazing at his roughly drawn garden of shrubbery and small plants.

“Born in the desolate ocean,” You read the little note scribbled in the corner of his drawing, tilting your head as you examine the artistic meaning behind the theme.

“Oh yeah, that’s what I’ve sort of named this section of the park.”

You have a sudden flashback to a dimly lit cave, the atmosphere cold and damp. The rain outside is falling in sheets, with droplets twirling in the wild wind and dripping onto the frozen rocks. A human-like creature sits next to you hesitating to lean closer. You do not remember who it is, but you recall the feeling of him using his arms to embrace you, growing a human heart and learning how to love for the first time.

“I like it” You finally comment as your mind is brought back to the present.

“Oh good, I was kind of worried the idea would be too wacky for your taste.” He chuckles. “

“You would be worried about that?”

“Well, not that I would’ve doubted myself, because you know, my ideas are always brilliant.” He grins, exuding a kind of humorous confidence that you were just starting to get to know, but at the same time, you had sort of expected the exact response.

“I’m just surprised you chose me to be your partner of all people” You murmur, dropping your gaze shyly as you felt his eyes land on you, scrutinizing the way you were nervously biting your bottom lip.

“Well, you were the closest person in the room” He voices, not noticing the way his words made your heart drop like a stone being thrown in the water because he was too distracted by the his own design thoughts to pay attention to the way you shifted uncomfortably in your seat.

“Oh…”

It was then that you felt the cathartic joy of finding that distant object of your yearning for the first time, only to be hit by the realization that no matter how close it was, it will always be just out of reach.

…

Do you know that you carry a perpetual feeling of loneliness despite being unaware of it?

Perhaps it stems from the ingrained yearning for something preordained that cannot be grasped, a set of emotions and memories so visceral that the even the time that carries them cannot help but to preserve such a gift through numerous centuries.

“Chaos”

You whip your head around to face Seokjin who had his eyebrows furrowed as he stares at his design for the next section of the park.

“A time in human history when things were sort of wild, and there were wars between empires that rose and fell.” He explains. “Making people even more dependent upon one another.”

You notice a distant sorrow manifest in your chest, or maybe it was always there and you were unaware of it until now, but Seokjin’s words ignite a constricting sensation to grip at your chest, one that makes the air in the room feel thin and insufficient. You vaguely see the figure of a man dying in your arms. The blood gradually seeping through his tattered soldier uniform makes you want to scream, but the faint smile on his face just before his eyes close tells you that was not the last time you would see him. And that thought somehow made everything ok.

You blink away the strange tears that are trying to form in your eyes. “I see that you’re trying to make this park sort of a walk through history.” You analyze with as steady of a voice as you can, attempting to piece together his relatively abstract ideas and making sense of it all.

“This is the section where we can put a castle on a hill and stone bridges arching over streams.” He turns to you enthusiastically.

You smile in return.

“Is something wrong?” He asks, noticing the tear quietly slipping down your face.

You quickly shake your head and reach up to wipe it away. “No, no, I was just thinking about a sad war movie I saw a couple of years ago.” You lie, sniffling one last time and averting your eyes for a quick second.

There’s a pause as he continues to gaze at you curiously, expression hard to read other than the gentle blinking of his eyelids.

“You must be hungry,” He suddenly states.

“What?” You breathe out in disbelief. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s late afternoon and neither of us have eaten all day.”

You glance over at the clock hanging in the studio, and to your utter surprise, t was almost 5pm.

“Should we call it a day then?” You query, turning your attention back to him who was already packing up the supplies.

“Definitely.” He confirms as he zips up his bag. You turn to do the same, but he isn’t finished talking. “Hey, do you want to come over for dinner?” You hear him ask as he continues to check that he’s packed everything.

Your heart skips a beat. “Umm, sure. Are you ordering take-out?”

He shakes his head. “I’m the resident chief in my group of friends.”

“Oh really” You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. “Am I suppose to just take your word for that?”

“Hey, just ask any of my buddies.” He defends. “They’ve all relied on me to feed them for years.”

It’s not that you would’ve rejected his offer anyways. Hell, he could be the worst cook in the world and you would still gladly eat anything he placed on the plate in front of you because it meant being with him for that much longer, which these days (or more like ever since you met him) you strangely harbored the urge to do.

You think it’s a just natural attraction, no different from any of your other crushes in the past, but of course you’re trying not to overanalyze the sudden onset of these mysterious flashback you keep on getting or the inexplicable feeling that washes over you whenever the stillness allows your thoughts to do as they please.

Seokjin drives the two of you to his apartment that he shares with two of his younger friends who are both, quote, immature little brats, end quote. Apparently they bicker all the time, but it’s mostly just the youngest that won’t seem to “let him live”.

“’Bout time you found yourself a girl” Jungkook comments the moment you and Seokjin step through the door. “At this age I was starting to worry you were going to die alone.”

“Ya!” Seokjin shouts at the boy lying on the couch with his eyes glued to the TV screen and hands wrapped around a game controller. “Show some respect or I’m not feeding you tonight.” He turns to you. “Please don’t take him seriously.”

You nod, feeling your face heat up just a tad bit because you honestly weren’t expecting such a blunt comment, even if it was in the form of a joke.

“Hi, you must be Y/N” Another person pops up from nowhere, he had light blonde hair and his eyes formed a pair of half moons as he smiled at you. “I’m Jimin.”

“Nice to meet you” You greet him.

“And the little brat over there is Jungkook” Seokjin adds, nodding towards the guy on the couch.

“Hey! I heard that” Jungkook snaps back, despite his attention still drawn towards the game flashing across the screen.

“Good” Seokjin shouts back.

“Don’t mind them two. This is completely normal.” Jimin reassures you, noticing how awkward you were feeling in such a situation.

“Oh wow…” You murmur, taking a deep breath. So Seokjin wasn’t kidding about the bickering, go figure.

Seokjin also wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was a good cook. His culinary skills turn out to be excellent, and his tastes are refined. He prepares a full course meal for the four of you, complete with side dishes that barely fit on their moderate sized dining table. All you can see in Jimin and Jungkook’s eager eyes as they stare at the food splayed out in front of them are how thankful they are to have Seokjin as an older brother figure, and it is then you are able to understand how good-natured their relationship is, despite the bickering.

“Noona, so are you and Seokjin hyung…” Jimin sneakily glances over to the kitchen where Seokjin was still finishing up the last dish, making sure he can’t hear what you guys are discussing.

“No, no” You violently shake your head, feeling your cheeks blossom into roses. “We’re just project partners.” You explain.

“Really…?” Jungkook butts in, clearly unconvinced according to the tone of his voice. “Hyung asked a girl to be his partner? Without any other intentions?” He crosses his arms and snorts. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I was the closest person in the room” You quickly interject, not knowing why you were getting so defensive. Perhaps it was a failed attempt at preventing your cheek color to deepen even more than it already was.

Jimin’s eyes disappear into crescents. “Kookie’s right, he usually stays away from girls because he doesn’t want to deal with unreciprocated feelings. Cause, you know, it’s hard not to fall for someone as handsome as hyung.”

“Please” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Let’s not boost his ego more than it already is.”

“What was that about my ego?” Seokjin’s voice makes all three of you jump in your seats as he walks up to the table with a pot of boiling stew.

“N-nothing” Jimin quickly says. “We were just talking about how admirable your confidence is.”

Seokjin’s eyes narrow as he looks from Jimin to Jungkook and back to Jimin. He doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it slide because everyone was starving and ready to dig into the food before it gets cold.

“I’ll drive you home” Seokjin says as the two younger males are tasked with washing the dishes in the kitchen.

“It’s ok, I can just take the bus”

“That’s inconvenient and it’s late.” Seokjin insists, already grabbing his car keys.

The drive to your apartment is a silent one, sans Seokjin’s occasional comments on the project and the 3-D software that you’ll soon be using to make your rough sketches come to life.

You’re not really paying attention to all of the details because technology was never really your thing, and you’re mind is dozing off after a long day. Despite your half conscious state, you’re still entranced by the way he’s expertly controlling the steering wheel, the way he drives so smoothly and how safe it all makes you feel.

Before you know it, you’ve reached the destination.

“Umm, thanks for dinner” You say as you unbuckle your seatbelt.

“No problem. I should be thanking you for putting up with those two.” Seokjin says, sighing and looking around as he debated how to phrase his next sentence. “So uh, maybe next time we could go out for dinner or something. Just you and I.”

For a moment you think you didn’t hear what he said correctly, but when you look up at him in surprise you notice a faint flush in his cheeks under the streetlight.

“Y-yeah, t-that would nice” You manage to respond, despite your heart pounding a mile a minute.

“Great! So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah”

And then you’re watching him drive off, wondering why all of this felt so familiar and so right like it’s happened before in some far off land or the distant past.

…

“So this castle you’re designing…” You trail off, eyes tracing over the 2-D blueprint of the structure Seokjin was designing at that very moment, his hand hovering in midair as he waits for you to finish your analysis. “What inspired such a layout?”

It wasn’t that you were purely curious about where he got the idea because you know it’s probably not that significant and if it were any other castle, you wouldn’t have even battered an eyelash, but this, this particular castle was all too familiar, in fact you think you’re becoming delusional for equating it with the one you saw in your dream the night before.

There’s a long pause as he tries to form a response. “I don’t know,” He ultimately says. “It kind of just came to me.”

You can practically sense that’s there’s more to it than he is choosing to explain, but he’s holding back for some odd reason.

“The secret passageway” You begin to point out, walking over to examine the tunnel that leads into the bedroom in more detail. “someone has used it to meet with their lover.” It’s a confident statement rather than a passing comment or even a question, and you have no idea what invisible force has compelled you to declare something so absurd with such certainty.

“The prince and his secret lover, a female warrior who was not allowed to be with him but eventually became his queen.” Seokjin turns to glance at you, his dark eyes unreadable, making you question if it was a coincidence he knew exactly what happened in your dream.

Time stills.

And you can see the lovers on a bridge, watching the sunset together as they’ve finally vowed to change the ways of the old where status decided who you could and could not love, to build a better kingdom and rule over its people with justice and equality. The man standing next to you is your king. He was the man your birth proclaimed you could never be with, and yet you are by his side.

You have been acquainted with this man numerous times, despite not being able to recall who he is or why he is altered and unchanged at the same time. He is reminiscent of the figure in all of your ephemeral hallucinations, the creature in the cave, the dying soldier….

Are they the same person? They can’t be… can they?

…

Kim Seokjin is sweet. He’s everything that is warm and inviting about a cozy home, the nostalgic tranquility of the calm sea at the brink of sunset, and he reminds you of dainty cherry blossoms in the spring, the way pink flower petals drift in the wind.

But Kim Seokjin is also humorous and lively, and he’s able to fill a room with his contagious laughter that initially seems like a mismatch to his elegant physical features, but makes him even more attractive and compelling.

You also find out he’s great at singing.

“Wow, I didn’t expect you to be good at so many things” You comment as you walk alongside him by the river after he had taken you out to dinner. The moon was bright on a clear evening, and the city lights were reflecting off of the dark water like dazzling gemstones.

“With a face like this?” He quickly does a modeling pose, and even under the guise of the night you can still see the self-satisfied look on his face.

You giggle. “What does looking good have to do with cooking and singing?”

He blinks blankly a couple of times, realizing his statement did in fact, not make any sense. “Aish, I said it at the wrong time.” He shakes his head in disappointment, making you laugh even harder.

“I’m not denying your good looks,” You say in between your muffled giggles.

“I’d be surprised if you were. I’m certified worldwide handsome.” He grins, and you playfully roll your eyes even though he probably can’t see anyways.

You smile and shake your head, not knowing why his arrogantly confident attitude comes off endearing and amusing when you know for a fact that if it were any other person you’d be annoyed by such a narcissistic proclamation.

Maybe you were just blindly infatuated, or maybe…

“You’re really beautiful, you know” His unexpected remark makes your heat skip a beat.

You turn to look at him not knowing what to say.

“You remind me of a lot of things I can’t make out.” He continues, and you notice he’s not looking at you but is instead staring at the starry sky.

“Seokjin…” You murmur, drawing his attention back toward you. You see his lips curve up slightly when his gaze lands on you.

“It’s getting late, we should probably head back.” His statement makes your heart drop ever so slightly, and for once you’re glad there are no streetlights to illuminate the melancholic tint in your eyes.

Kim Seokjin is physically close yet so far away, and although all of your senses tell you he’s right there, well within reach, the imperceptible distance between the two of you remains unchanged.

And it makes you wonder if you’ll ever find what you are looking for.

…

The following section of the park was intended to transition into the modern world, so the next few weeks of brainstorming was dedicated to experimenting with different contemporary elements.

“A cityscape” You suddenly voice as the idea pops into your head. “What says modern-day more than a high-tech city? We can use metal wires to depict the skyline of a metropolis using abstract shapes analogous to those found in contemporary art.”

“That sounds like a great idea” Seokjin concurs. “We could add decorative lights so that the area is illuminated at night.”

You nod enthusiastically, and proceed to jump straight into sketching. You were imagining a mall area lined with trees that guided park goers towards the center, using the metal fencing as the foundation for the lights Seokjin had suggested.

“The cement sidewalks in this area of the park are like empty city streets.” He comments as he hovers over your drawing, examining the newly conjured shapes on your sketch board.

“Empty city streets...” You echo slowly, seeing the exact scene he was describing in the back of your mind.

A man is holding a bouquet of baby blue flowers, wearing a perfectly iron suit as he gets out of his car. You don’t see his face but you know that he’s smiling wider than the Pacific Ocean, and your heart is swelling as you begin to make your way towards him. Then there are lights and the sharp squeak of tires against the pavement, and everything goes black.

“Y/N?” Seokjin’s voice brings you back to the sketch.

“Huh?” You realized you had spaced out again.

“I was just wondering if you had any ideas on what to put in the center of the park.” He says. “It’s probably going to be the most important section. The one that ties everything together.”

“The center?”

He was right. The center is what the two of you have been building up to, and whatever piece you decide to put there will ultimately define the meaning of the park, the meaning of the story your architectural elements were trying to convey.

Normally it would be pretty difficult to come up with such an essential portion, but you had a pretty good idea of exactly what should be placed in the center.

…

By the end of the semester, you and Seokjin had completed the entire park. It was breathtakingly magnificent, and even the professor was extremely impressed by everything the two of you had put so much time and effort into crafting, even referring to it as one of the greatest he’s seen in all his years teaching an upper division architecture course.

“A walk through a thousands centuries.” Seokjin sighs as he gazes proudly at the finished design displayed on the screen.

“It turned out really good,” You agree, smiling softly.

“I’d never thought I’d say this, but my favorite part is the sculpture you designed for the center piece.”

His compliment puts a satisfied and sentimental smile on your face. You’re eyes turn towards the precise piece that he was still examining, its three dimensional shape even more mesmerizing now that it was projected on the big screen.

The piece that you had designed was the culmination of your flashbacks and dreams from the past semester, a tangible portrayal of everything that you had felt but could not put into words or explanations. It was a statue of a round time portal, one that faces an area of planetary alignments dancing across the cosmos on one side and two faceless people standing in each other’s embrace on the other.

“What was the inspiration behind it?” Seokjin’s voice cuts through your brief lapse, and you realized it was the first time he’s asked you the same question you had been asking about his designs. Turning your attention towards him, you notice that he’s looking at you in a way he seems to have never done before, like he’s truly seeing you for the first time. He is exclusively focused on you in that moment, and truthfully you kind of wish he wasn’t waiting so intently for your response because it makes you too nervous to admit the real motivation behind your work.

You had actually considered the idea kind of silly, and you didn’t really know what compelled you to design such a structure, but the idea had taken shape throughout your semester spent with Seokjin and although part of you wants to brush off that strange feeling of overwhelming emotions you’re hit with when you are with him, it was a calling that spoke to your heart rather than your mind to create such a representation of what the park in its entirety meant to you.

“It’s just something that sort of hit me out of the blue,” You voice nonchalantly, clearing your throat because the room was awfully silent and you could literally hear the pounding of your heart.

“What are you going to call it?” He asks softly, voice almost inaudible.

Your breathing pauses, and it was like all of your indiscernible, frenzied thoughts had been set aside to make room for one thing only.

“Reincarnated to be together.” You whisper, not in complete control of where your words were coming from, where such an impression had manifested into tentative form. Your mind might forget, but your heart will always remember.

“One day we suddenly remembered the past.” You hear the melodic tone of Seokjin’s voice dance over to your eardrum, sending a shock wave coursing through your veins.

Seokjin is rooted in place as he finally realizes the one thing that had eluded him all along. He had been searching all this time, for the girl whose soul was hidden behind all of his designs, but only now has he realized it was you. The stories that traversed over centuries of human kind, the fate written in the stars at the beginning of the universe was the unbroken link between of the two of you.

“You’re him,” You breathe out as your eyes flicker up to meet his, the identity of the faceless person in your flashbacks finally coming to light.

“Sorry” He finally whispers. “I should have known.” His parted lips linger as his gaze trace down to your lips and back up to your eyes.

You look into them, eyes that are conveying everything he doesn’t need to put into words because you already know.

“We found each other,” He murmurs, and that’s the last thing you hear before feeling his tender lips meeting yours, closing the gap that you had thought would never be conquered.

The feeling that you know all too well, the same motion you’ve felt many times over, like artistic brushstrokes on a clean canvas waiting for millennia of stories to unfold, crafting the masterpiece that it was always meant to create, a destiny that will always be fulfilled.

Kim Seokjin kisses you like he’s been waiting for lifetimes to do so. He caresses your cheek like he’s been searching for you since the beginning of time and he holds you in his gaze like you’re the only thing he can see because he was born to love you and reborn to find you in every century he has been alive.

“Until civilization is destroyed once again, On the first day after a thousand centuries In the Garden of Eden we’ll stand side by side And laughingly watch the sun be extinguished.”

...

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bangtan bookclub #btswriters #sfwbangtan #seokjin scenarios #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #jin #requested #Thank you Mars! 😘#lots of cheese #Just in time for Jin's birthday #this story was actually inspired by a Mayday song of the same name :)#and the last part is a translation of the last verse #the center piece of the park is inspired by the album cover for Illenium - Leaving #the one that was on Jungkook's spotify playlist hehe ;)

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jasenet · 4 years

Text

200527 | #lota-julian-bedrom

( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.

CH: arms full of clothes and a bag filled with colorful patches ranging from rainbows to flowers and hearts, multi-colored lightning patches he thought were especially cool, he leans himself against the wall just beside julian's door. with a soft grunt, he tries to balance everything enough to free his hand just enough to open it. with a victorious 'oh yeah' he stops the door from closing with his foot, hand having already returned to keep a sweater from falling free. nudging the door wide enough to slip in, he calls out with a smile, "sorry for coming in unannounced but i really wanted to show you all of this! there's a cute balloon animal patch in here and i wanted you to see it!" dumping the clothes onto julian's bed, he lets out a big breath, wiping his brow as if it'd been strenuous work to bring it all over. "i think they're iron-on... but you know how to sew too, right? i hope you're better than i am... ah wait i got ahead of myself. someone gave me all these patches and i thought you'd like them too. if you don't have any clothes you wanna put them on, you can take one of mine!"

JN: Keeping with his regular work and routine, there was rarely much to do in the afternoon. Every day, he would come and go in relative silence. It was a perk of living on the same floor as the medical room. He was not two minutes away from anyone’s medical emergency, to which he could only be grateful for. However, even with the spare time, the bedroom looked minimally lived-in. Various strange sketches and concept art were taped haphazardly on one wall, while the open window took the one beside it. The window naturally let in the afternoon sun, and it was the sole source of light throughout the room. As for the ceiling, it remained blank. He didn’t know whether it’d be appropriate, but he wished to paint a mural.

Just as he tossed himself onto the bed, an arm over his eyes and legs below the knee over the edge, the scent of perhaps the sweetest wolf he’d ever encountered was drawing stronger by the second. Julian sat up and took a gander over his bedroom for any anomalies. The unnecessary concern distracted from Chase's entrance, and his blue eyes shone curiously onto the colorful items as they got closer. The lota wasn’t sure how to tell the omega how much of an ametuer he was with sewing. Such tasks were for the kappas, as he was introduced, and he simply accepted that it wasn’t for him to learn. “I’ll give it a try.”

Perhaps it was obsessive how he quickly latched onto anything colored yellow and orange. Plucking out a few different flower patches, he assumed they required more intricate sewing. He then pulled out a brightly-colored sweater to inspect, and it was not dissimilar to his own choice of wardrobe. “I didn’t realize our styles matched so well.” The image of his closet, as it was the last time he’d seen it, appeared in his memory plain as day. There were certainly some that could use a bit of customization. However, he could argue that all of them were eligible. “My closet is free reign to you, too.” Julian offered Chase a small smile. “Where do we start?”

CH: though the words aren't brimming with confidence as he hoped, the truth is, he thinks julian has steadier hands, more meticulous of a work ethic. when it comes to detail and perfection, chase mostly does so for his singing. even that, in the end, is typically wrought over more so by emotion than technique and professionalism. however praised he might be when he used to perform, he knows he was lacking, still is now that his most consistent performance is in the showers these days or under his breath as he helps out with errands. "i've been wondering that! sometimes i look at your clothes when i see you and think i have something similar or i want something like that too! it suits you. i like seeing you in bright colors! it makes it easier to smile when i see you. i already do but everything is so colorful!" beaming at the offer, he closes the distance between them, an arm hugging julian's waist before he lets go, going through the patches himself and holding up the balloon animal patch he spoke off, holding it up to julian's chest. "do you think we'll go back to the boardwalk or to a festival or something? i want a real balloon animal too. i think this would look good on a yellow shirt or sweater. what do you want to put the flower patches on? it is getting warmer these days..."

JN: “You’re so colorful,” he blurted with nothing but a toothy grin on his face. “Inside and outside.” Although he was stunned by the hug, he reached up a moment later to hug back. — Looking down at the patch Chase held against him, he placed a heart patch beside it for review. “I think all I have are sweaters,” he replied sheepishly. He took another look at Chase’s clothes and realized that that was the difference. “And long sleeves.” It took a moment for him to process what ‘boardwalk’ meant, but nothing came up for it. He was too embarrassed to ask. However, he understood ‘festival’, so he could at least respond to that. “A friend of mine said there’s a lotus garden festival soon.” Nam Hae somehow always knew about these things, so he found out by just being in the room. There was no chance he could go, though, so Julian relied on her stories. “Is that what you mean?”

CH: "me?" his brows lifting, he stares at julian, questioning what it's like to be colorful inside and there's the obvious joke about his organs and how blood is a bright red but it's more than that; he knows it is, that it's something more along the lines of how he likens claire to sunshine and julian to moonlight the more time they spend together. there's a sense of hesitation in the air from the hug but he brushes it off, smiles at julian again and nods in approval when a heart patch is paired with the balloon animal. "that's perfect!" hearing that the lota's clothes seem more suited for colder weather doesn't surprise him and he continues smiling, "that's okay! do you wanna put it on a sweater then?" because if julian doesn't want to wear shorter sleeved clothing, chase wouldn't push it on him. "lotus garden? that sounds pretty! do you think we could try? i wonder if cam would let us... we should all go to a festival. they seem so fun. but something like that! but i don't think if that sounds like a festival they'd have cotton candy at... i wish! but i don't want to forget! should we put these patches on a sweater for you?"

JN: Julian could think of quite a few candidates of his own to stitch these things onto, but he took a better look at Chase's selection for reference. If their styles were that similar, then he could certainly find something that matches a couple of them. "Mhm sure," he nodded. "Let me go get one." He passed Chase, making a beeline for his closet, and noted that he should probably head to the laundry room again sometime soon. Some of the clothes in there were more suited to autumn and winter with their thicker fabrics. "What does a festival look like to you?" He came back with sapphire blue cashmere and sunset-gradient cotton sweaters. He figured they would suit the patches better. If anything, they were blank canvases. He stopped in place, smiling sheepishly at the bed as he put his clothes down. "Cam won't be awake to notice anyway."

CH: pursing his lips, he drums his fingers along the bedframe, gaze still lingering on the different patches and debating if he prefers simple or more intricate or both. but he shouldn't be overzealous considering his sewing skills. toying with the hem of one of the shirts he brought in, he realizes late that if they're sewing the patches on for extra security, some of them might be too thin to hold up. chase recalls being told something like that, bits and pieces of the advice went over his head both in content and because he was distracted looking at them all. "like a lot of people!" his answer comes immediately, correcting himself, eyes brightening as he says, "lots of smiling people. families, little kids holding plushies and candy. ah, cotton candy..." trailing off dreamily, chase almost tastes it on the tip of his tongue. distracted now by the colors of the sweaters julian brings, he laughs, nodding in agreement. "let's pick a festival to go to then, you and me. we could ask near and baby too. it'll be like the ice cream shop!"

JN: Rather than by subject themselves, Julian's starts separating and grouping the patches by color. It's a different sort of organization to the medicine cabinet, but arguably much more fun. He refrains from placing a few aside which would look like on his sweaters, and splits his attention with Chase talking instead. There's not much of a reference for him to go by when the camping trip would have to have been the first of its kind for him. The beach and boardwalk had a lot of different people and children smiling away their troubles and enjoying their day. Perhaps that's what Chase is referring to. They'd have to go back sometime, if possible. "Did you get any cotton candy during the trip?" He remembers being asked for the flavor at the ice cream parlor, but he never consumed the real thing himself. Julian looks up at Chase again once he's done organizing the patches with a small hum. "We should go again, yeah. Have you seen them around recently though?"

CH: "i did! when i was on the boardwalk with cam," he grins, fond of the memory and even more fond of cam for getting cotton candy with him after the trip. sitting on the bed, he sorts through some of the clothes, debating which ones look best and sorting out the thicker materials from the thinner, setting those too thin behind him and off to the side after he realized moments ago it's best to stick to the former. "is there an ice cream parlour in town . . . there's the diner and the bakery . . . " just how long had it been since he went into the city or in town anyway? he'd become more of a homebody since becoming part of seraph and he doesn't mind it at all, but it is different from how he once lived. "oh, i see near more often because i . . . our rooms are close so i say good night most of the time," he clears his throat, staring down at one of the sweaters he last grabbed. "i want to spend more time with everyone. but that's hard to pull off, huh?"

JN: It doesn't distract him too much. If anything, he's more than encouraging to have Chase talk, particularly more than him. It feels like the omega has so much to say at all times. Julian wants to get it out of him, learn and keep learning about everything Chase, if possible. "Oh, I didn't get to see him much. What else did you do there?" He still hasn't finished drawing everything he decides to remember in his journal, but among them already had been the cycling. There'd been quite a few firsts during the trip. "I haven't explored the town any. I guess the higher ranks would know. Or... Do you want to find it?" 'With me', he'd add, but he isn't the most reliable companion for such an excursion. Chase is really social, though. Surely he'd have someone to turn to for such a thing. "Depends on the wolf, I think." Pulling out one of the sweaters, he gets up to press it against his current wear. "This one? With the yellow and blue flowers?"

CH: "mm, i don't think i remember much. i didn't seem cam much then eith— oh, i went to the aquarium!" how he made it there on his own, he doesn't know anymore but he had plenty of fun. "have you been before? we should go to one too." that's true, asking the higher ranks would make it easier. asking athena and yeon seems reasonably easy too. "ah— yeah! that sounds fun! let's go explore on our own," he pauses only because it's not the safest idea but they'd go during the day most likely so it should be okay, right? looking over the sweater, chase grins, looking for pins to keep them in place as they decide. didn't he bring some... reaching into his pocket, he pulls out the pins he borrowed, yellow flower-like stoppers on each one. "do you like butterflies? flowers and butterflies are cute! oh, or we could make it all flowers... too many options..."

JN: Brows raised and mouth agape, the very notion of an aquarium takes him aback. "There was an aquarium?" One might even say the beach is the better trade, the very one littered with glass he'd gone with Athena. But the thing is, he had the time and energy to go. The sadness of missing out weighs him only the slight bit more. However, the proceeding invitation most probably outweighs ten folds. "Yeah! Let's go to an aquarium together." And plenty of other places. "Did you see any sharks?" At some point, one would just have to stop and ask whether he'd like to be a mer-wolf, right? His spring has arguably been filled with water-related trips. The hesitation is quite telling. No matter how well he can follow directions, follow a map, he'll always somehow get himself lost. But he appreciates the enthusiasm. Regardless, the here and now calls for other matters to be attended to. Namely, the very much blank sweaters in juxtaposition to the colorful and busy-looking patches right next to them. "We could make a garden, or the illusion of one." He quickly picks out three flowers he deems a color-match along with a blue butterfly to go in the center. "At the end of the sleeves, and then these leaf ones on the chest. Suture- Sew them together."

CH: "yeah! it was . . . oh, it wasn’t that far from the bike shop we went to! i want to do that again too. biking with you or skating. i heard there was jet skis too but those are a bit more dangerous,” with a laugh, chase scratches at the back of his neck. “i think i might need more courage to go on one of those.” looking at julian, chase realizes he might be able to muster up enough bravery if they’re doing it together. there’s something about the lota that wrap him up in healing warmth, that allows him to feel comfortable and confident. maybe it’s the optimism that shines so brilliantly in ocean eyes, how it washes over him, refreshing and cool. “they had sharks! even the one with the, uh, it’s like . . . ah, the hammer shape head.” the name is so simple his cheeks flush a little once he realizes but his hands are already next to his own head, trying to make the shape, grin growing on his lips. “a garden sounds pretty,” his tone drips of awe and his cheeks hurt from smiling as he imagines it. “seraph has the best lotas,” he chuckles. “thinking of suturing even now.” taking the patches in hand, he tries to hold them up to the sweater to see where to pin them but it’s not the same comparing it in the air or even laying it down on the bed. “do you mind wearing it so i can pin them in place? i wanna figure out the best spots for each one.”

JN: "Oh, I'll try anything once." He nods as if to make the statement final. "It sounds fun." There are so many more mundane things he has yet to experience, so doing something that isn't commonly done is of great interest. They shoot up higher up the do-to list if he has someone to do them with. "Hammer head sharks? I wonder how the glass doesn't break if they hit it." Julian looks off momentarily, a bit lost in thought as he holds the sweater closer to his chest. His gaze wanders to the blue pile of patches, plucking a random few from it, and thinks about how fish might feel if they see someone eat fish. "Speaking of which, do you like sushi?" Though he's about to sit back down on the bed, make more combinations, he pauses in place at the request. It's simple, certainly. But perhaps not to him. "Is that... really... okay?" As he swallows, he thinks the question is for himself as well. Only a couple of wolves have seen his torso, littered with scars that have since 'healed'. But scars don't really heal, do they? He carefully sets the sweater down, eyes downcast and color muted. And as if a tester, he pulls back his right sleeve to reveal a few more scattered scars; smaller knife cuts and veins more visible due to, what he thinks, is his paleness.

CH: with the admission, chase wonders if julian is more daring than he thinks, more open but with his own secrets. but something like coming from julian doesn't carry the same tones or suggestion that some of their own pack members saying it would. he doesn't think so anyway but he still ends up swallowing thickly, pushing the thought away from his mind. wouldn't be the first time his mind wanders to that when the words itself had been said innocuously. "hammerhead sharks? oh... do you think it's as hard as a hammer? or harder since hammers... what came first?" but he's distracted by the mention of sushi instead of indulging in the sudden urge to google hammerhead sharks. "i love sushi!" he hesitates, remembering that it's not as common, right? a wolf preferring fish to red meat. "do you?"

he's trying to wrap the pin cushion strap around his wrist, having seen it done a few times to make pinning easier as he sticks a few in there, when he looks over to julian. it seems like a trick of light at first until he realizes what's on julian's arm is really there and he gapes for a moment, wondering what to do. does he say something? does he pretend not to see? does he ask? a million thoughts start to run through his mind but his body moves before he can process, taking julian's arm and trailing his fingers over some of them, brows furrowed til he can manage to look julian in the eyes. "does it hurt? are you hurting?" he knows well enough from his own past that these scars could've come from anywhere, anything, anyone.

JN: It's commonplace for his train of thought to switch from one lane to another, one random thought after another. He doesn't have a definitive answer for Chase, though. He's been told that tools have been around for more years than he can fathom, but as a species of fish, it's likely they came around first. "They're prehistoric, I think. The shark, fish. But yeah, I do like sushi. I'll make it for you sometime." The words come out easier that way. They don't hold any personal history to them, not like what he ends up revealing to the omega. He swallows thickly, unsure whether to keep going or cut their losses now. Julian expects scorn, mockery, perhaps even anger. Something similar to what he got from those... Whoever they were. They looked like them, like this, but were they really wolves? Or just humans? Just humans doesn't feel right to even think when they were the assumed individuals responsible for all this torture. Some of these cuts were fresh back then, the start of his new life. But even now, almost two years later, the phantom feeling of the stings returns as the memory does. "No." He covers his sleeve back up. "No, it doesn't." Blinking up at Chase, he manages a sliver of a smile, though short-lived. "The rest of me is like that, though." Ugly. Damaged. Unworthy. "I can't do anything about it." He curls his fingers by the edges of his shirt, but he can't move them. As kind and compassionate Chase has always been to him, he's still afraid. He's afraid that it'll be too much to be kind to.

CH: "are they?" then again, his knowledge of this and that when it comes to anything beyond basic information is questionable at best. though he had access to certain materials to try learning, he was limited by what he could get from the human children in the house, trying to help them to avoid being— well, that's something else entirely, now, isn't it? he shouldn't let his thoughts drift there. shift the sails, guide it elsewhere like getting lost in ocean eyes. "i'd like that." but he'd enjoy anything julian makes for him, that julian wants to make something chase likes is even sweeter. bated breath is released when julian says no, that it doesn't hurt, that he's not in physical pain at the very least and he can't imagine it. he can't imagine having physical scars to match the emotional ones left behind. the faint smile clenches at his heart and he's reaching out to grab julian's hand as it fixes his sleeve, catching them just when they linger at the hem of their shirt. "so the rest of you is soft and warm? sweet and comfortable?" the words slip out faster than he can think because how julian sounds when he says he can't do anything about it nearly breaks his heart. he doesn't have to do anything about them. if they're a part of julian, they're just as lovable as he is. "is that . . . is that why you wear long sleeves even in summer?"

JN: In all honesty, there’s nothing good that he expects out of this. Showing even a little bit is a rick he so adamantly avoids. Sometimes he wonders if he could get away with suturing cloth to his skin, but that’s a little extreme, isn’t it? Just like how he’d rather inject himself with vitamins than eat most days. It’s not healthy in every sense of the idea, he knows. It’s like he can only think in extremes. So when Chase speaks again, using positive adjectives with such fondness in his tone, he grows evermore speechless. Even breathing in this moment feels like a violation of all that is socially acceptable. But asphyxiation is a real way to one’s demise, so he doesn’t. He’s shaking, though, he can’t help that bit.

How could you say that? He wants to ask. Short and simple, and very curious. It might take more than five minutes, more than an hour perhaps, to even process those words. Soft and warm? Sweet and comfortable? Is that how he’s projecting? “Isn’t that all you?” He swallows, regretting his words the millisecond before it leaves his lips. He’s so in his head right now that it feels trapping. As if he can only see Chase in this moment, and yet that’s sort of hard to do right now. “You’re lying if it’s not you.” He remains seated on his bed. His bed, yet it feels so unfamiliar all of a sudden. Julian presses his eyes closed, nodding his head at the question as he hides his arms behind his pulled up legs. A barrier, he supposes. He doesn’t know, really. He wants to… He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want Chase to reject him, but it feels so much like it.

#( ongoing )

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doodleodramablog-blog · 7 years

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Inspiration & Motivation - the tale of two ex-lovers.

So after the huge success of my first blog (6 people read it including my own family), here we are with blog number- Two *insert drum roll*.

I did an Instagram story poll thing for this one, asking which blog to write first; inspiration & motivation or pricing (you know by now which of the two emerged as a winner). I will however, write one on pricing soon (too). So thank you to everyone who participated in the poll.

Now that we are done with the awkward intro-session and are all warm & toasty, let’s dive straight into the subject. Let me start with “my” definition or differentiation between the two. According to me, inspiration is ideas and motivation is the energy/zest/zeal/enthusiasm to implement these ideas.

Often, I find it challenging to bring these two people together, under the same roof (hence the title). They are like ex-lovers who went through a bad breakup and therefore cannot see eye to eye. And whenever they are in the same room together, the air is tensed but it helps get work done!

Before I start rambling about them, I think it’s very important to understand and acknowledge what is it that you need help with. Are you lacking motivation or inspiration?

Let’s talk about motivation first. Now these are some pointers that help me personally to get motivated. (Try them at your own risk).

Consume more so you can create more : I religiously follow and sometimes stalk truck loads of artists (illustrators, cartoonists, comedians, vloggers, poets, photographers, etc). Just seeing people put out amazing work, puts me in a good mood. I try to feed off on their energy and it helps me give myself that little push to work harder on my craft/skill.

Note : this might have the opposite effect too. I know creators who look at other people’s work and go “Oh! Everyone’s creating such amazing content and I’m a potato. Woe is me. I’m hopeless”. That brings me to the next pointer…

2. Know what works for you : take a walk, get a cup of coffee, stretch/sketch(or both), music, pet a floof (a real or imaginary pet), etc. Any of these or all of these could work for you. Motivation is all about working your mood to work for you. Even a nap could help! Try a few things and see what works best for you.

3. Take time off : taking a break helps. For me taking a break from my immediate surroundings does even better. So my breaks are as simple as sitting on the couch in my living area instead of sitting on the chair in my studio, just change of scenery can help sometimes. Do something outside of work. I turn to music or books or movies or tending to my dying plants and this can sometimes even spark inspiration (more on that later). I like going shopping for plants (that i will eventually kill), books, and stationery in general.

4. Let lazy takeover : There are only so many battles you can fight in a day and only so many that you can win so it’s totally ok to let lazy take over somedays. Don’t try to fight it everyday, every second (I’ll make a horrible parent!). Somedays you just want to smell bad, look bad, and pretend dead. And that is A-ok.

(Again, these pointers work for me. I’ve been told that I should be banned from giving advice…so…)

I’d also like to add another pointer here. I don’t usually struggle with motivation when it comes to client work. I somehow like being accountable and I hate to admit this, but I do work well under pressure and with deadlines. (As a student, I loved writing exams and that’s one of the things I miss about my student life- exams. Yeah. So now you know). Also, with client work there’s usually a set (agreed upon) brief available so inspiration is already served, you just need to bring your motivation to dinner table.

Moving onto Inspiration, this is harder to achieve than motivation (IMHO). Now inspiration doesn’t come knocking on my forehead every single day as soon as I wake up. So whenever it does come, I try and grab it with both my hands and soak in as much as I can.

Note : Here I’d like to throw in a recommendation- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. PLEASE read that book if you’d like to explore creativity, inspiration, motivation and all that jazz. READ IT.

Here are a few things that help me get inspired. Again, these work for me but might not work for you so don’t come looking for me with a butcher knife. Don’t.

People : Indians are THE funniest race on planet earth. We just don’t know how to laugh at ourselves. All my comics come from observing people, their action-reactions, us as a society and our approach to life. I love observing people. So I am that creep who sits in coffee shops and pretends like I’m working or eating but I’m actually listening to your conversations, watching your body language, and making layouts for my next comic, featuring YOU. (Learn the art of subtlety before you practice this stunt. We have laws now so be civilised).

Anything but work : Surprisingly, I don’t get ideas when I look at other fellow illustrators/comic artists’ work. I get motivated, sure but not inspired. For that, I need to look outside of my work. I often get my ideas/concepts from books I’m currently reading, maybe a film I recently watched, an incident, circumstances, relatives at family gatherings, Facebook activity of my “Facebook friends”, etc. Yeah, I feel like I have a self awarded degree in human psychology (although I studied journalism, advertising, & film).

Shame your creative block in public : Let EVERYONE know that you are not inspired at the moment by drawing/writing about the creative block. And if this creative block visits often which it will (pesky little rascal), find creative ways to introduce your uninvited guest, the creative block to the world. Sooner or later you will get on its nerves and drive it away (for a while at least).

Go back to where you came from! : (immigrants can sit down. HAHA. OK sorry). What I mean by that is, when you’re stuck in a rut, reach for comfort food (first) and then for something familiar. For me, I love warming up with some rough sketches of faces with varied expressions. I find that relaxing because it’s something I know and enjoy doing. It’s like giving my ego a mini massage session. Don’t tell your brain to create a master piece just let your muscle memory do its job and draw some gibberish. Anything. Once you’re over that block, you can go ahead and poop all over that smooth road now!

So these are some of my cue cards/go-to pointers whenever I am stuck/not in the mood/not feeling it. But then again, they are not foolproof and that explains why I only did client work today. But hey! At least we got this blog done. I hope this was some help to the 3 people who will read it. PLEASE do drop me a note/message here. There’s also the ask me anything section.

There’s also the Doodleodrama Facebook & Instagram & email. If you have questions/opinions/suggestions- let me know!

*takes a bow and doesn’t leave*

#motivation #inspiration #goodvibes #freelance #art #artistlife #lifelessons

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rachel-alderson · 8 years

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The Dinosaur Knight

I'm just going to start this post by saying that I've been posting the wrong name for this game all along! Well, it's not completely wrong, and it's not that I didn't know what it was called, but because I have a few client jobs I always just use something simple and easy to differentiate each project, so for this project that was 'Fusion Earth'. So just to clear things up, it's actually called 'Escape from Fusion Earth' which makes much more sense and something that should've clicked when I wrote the first post! Oops, sorry Riley!

I hope that you guys are enjoying these posts introducing you to the Escape from Fusion Earth world and characters whilst also showing you the process behind the 2D art in the game. I feel like this project and the client have really encouraged me to push my creativity, ideas and techniques to take my work to the next level, which is always exciting because I felt at a stage in my work where I really needed a challenge and this project has been perfect for that. The project as a whole has challenged me and each character design has challenged me in it’s own way too, and the Dinosaur Knight was tough in areas that others weren’t and because of those obstacles it’s turned out to be one of my favourite illustrations I’ve done to date. So let’s get into it!

Now, anyone that knows me or has been familiar with my work for the past 2 years at least will know that I absolutely adore dinosaurs, I have always been fascinated by them since I was a kid, but only about 2 years ago did I start drawing them, this was when I finally got my head screwed on a bit and realised that I should be drawing what makes me happy, not what makes other people happy or want to give me likes on instagram. The dinosaurs I’d been drawing is partly what landed me the chance to work on Escape from Fusion Earth in the first place, and because I am so genuinely passionate about dinosaurs, I’ve always been into learning about them, new discoveries, reading about their defence features etc. which means that I had already built up quite a lot of information and sketches to give me a starting point for this particular card. However, as you can tell from the title, the dinosaur wasn’t the only character for this card, there was another character that needed to be designed, and that was the Dinosaur Knight himself.

When I started sketching the character, he was actually listed on the Escape from Fusion Earth document as ‘Dinosaur Savages’ (I’ll explain the name change later in this post). So I started to think about what this guys armour and weapons would look like, how would he protect himself? What kind of weapon would he have? What tools would he use to craft his gear? How would he sew the armour together? etc. It’s helpful to ask all of these questions and create a backstory for the character because it 100% helps you get a better idea of the character and who they are, how they should look, and it also helps to create a character story for the viewer, leading the viewer to discover through the design of the character how they got to where they are now. I sketched down quite a few ideas based off the brainstorms and thoughts that I’d had, and kind of felt in my element. Although both I and the client were happy with the character designs, there was just something not quite right.

It took us a while to work it out, but after a lot of sketching and ideas, my client, who is also a creative in the industry which is always super helpful when you need a fresh set of eyes, suggested that he was too similar to the Zombie Viking. On the surface people might not see that, but I completely got what he meant, when you’re a character designer, you know that the most important element of a successful character design is the silhouette. So even though the Dinosaur Savage was unique, I could instantly see without even creating filling in his silhouette that his shape and build was too similar to the Zombie Viking, so it was back to the drawing board! My client came up with the suggestion to have the human character as more of a knight, which would immediately create a much more unique character and create a bigger contrast between him and the Zombie Viking. I’ve never drawn a knight before, so I spent a couple of days researching real knights and knight armour, but I knew that I also wanted this knight to have a more stylised look, so I also got a lot of reference from games such as Heroes of the Storm and League of Legends, along with rooting through old sketchbooks for ideas.

I drew up quite a few ideas, and really liked two of the more refined ideas. I think that the one on the left still tied into the savage idea a little, his armour looked handmade and he looks like he has used a lot of found items, which wasn’t a problem now that he was clearly a knight. The one on the right looks a lot more gritty and dark, which wasn’t the direction I intended to take but after sketching him up I really liked the way he looked. The client was happy with both, and happy for me to go with which ever I felt was best. I was very keen on going with the knight on the left, but I knew that I wanted to try something different and felt like the guy on the right looked a lot more threatening, and I could imagine that if he was coming towards you, you’d feel a lot more worried. I also realise that he has no way to see through his helmet, but I kinda like that because I think it gives it a fantasy feeling, sort of as if he’s this cursed knight who just rides around and always hits his target.

Obviously now he needed his dinosaur companion, I was pretty confident in my ideas and where I wanted to go with it, so just drew up some rough sketches. Initially I drew up the dinosaur above, but the client made a good point about the card being portait so it would be better to have a bipedal dinosaur. I started thinking he either needed a big chunk dinosaur with a lot of power, like an even more bulked out T-Rex or a fast dinosaur such as a super sized raptor, I’d also drawn this dinosaur a while ago, sort of based on a T-Rex but with a really over exaggerated strong looking jaw which has loads of teeth sticking out everywhere, which was the one I decided to go with in the end. Of course he had to have a little skull helmet too!

When it came to designing the actual card, it was a little tricky getting the composition right as the client had a really awesome idea and wanted to make it look like the dinosaur was about to attack the viewer. After sketching up a few rough examples, I realised that it was difficult trying to fit such a pose on a portrait illustration, if it was landscape it would’ve worked perfectly, but these cards are portrait so I had to try something else. Instead, I went with a pose where the dinosaur is sprinting along and the knight has pulled him back as if to stop the dinosaur or slow him down. I felt like it fit in the frame better but was still a powerful post at the same time. The colouring of this piece was pretty straight forward, I used one of my dinosaur books to get a reference idea for the pattern on the dinosaur and then changed the colours up a little, using complimentary colours for the dinosaur and the knight. I’ve recently started learning more about digital painting and concept art for games, I obviously use a lot of line work in my work but I’m interested in trying to pull away from that a little and get a more concept art feeling across in my work, so painted in the birds just to try something new and feel like they give the illustration that extra pop and make it feel a little magical.

Cheers for reading guys, I'll be sharing another card next week, there's something a little different about the next character though....

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artstartart · 6 years

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Artist Spotlight: Erin Branscum

Get to know one of our University of Texas at Austin artists from the June 2018 Sale on ArtStartArt.

To get things started, share a little bit more about yourself and your artwork.

I have always been interested in fine arts, and all throughout grade school I have practiced art. I knew I wanted to continue taking art classes past high school, which is how I decided to go to art school. I always have painted—mostly watercolor and acrylics—and drawn, but since coming to college I really got into oil painting and photography, which are now my two main mediums I work with.

I have always been interested in painting from photographs in which I have taken, mostly drawing from places I have traveled. I have always been interested in the environment and people. My work today has evolved from that, and although I still paint environmental scenes, I am now influenced by more personal feelings and am painting more from experience and less from photographs. I enjoy rocks and the ambiguous forms they can take on, which is what most of my most recent work shows.

Tell us about your first experience creating.

I’m not sure when my first experience creating exactly was. I always made hand-made cards when I was little, birthday cards or Mother’s or Father’s Day cards, and I would draw or create fun things and give them to my family. I remember always being innovative in my creating, not limited only to drawn and painted pictures but also making 3-D cards and using all sorts of materials.

What has been your favorite part of art school so far?

My favorite part so far has been the resources provided through the fine arts school at UT that has allowed me to explore so many different processes and types of art making. UT has been great because I did not have to choose a specific focus for my undergrad years, so it has allowed me to explore and take so many different classes I am interested in. You really take your own role in art making at UT, which has been great for personal exploration and finding out what it is that I truly enjoy making.

What are you currently exploring in your work?

I am currently exploring the human relationship with the environment. Through my own personal connections and feelings, I have been most recently painting rocks and exploring their form and color and textures. I am interested in the ambiguity many rock forms can take, which is something I have been trying to create and emphasize in my paintings. I have been using my own experiences in environments and trying to create slightly abstract and ambiguous images.

What excites you about ArtStartArt?

It is my first chance to get my work out in the public and sell some of my own work. ArtStartArt is there to help me with the process too while also teaching us along the way.

If you had to choose another major besides art, what would it be, and why?

I would choose photo journalism or architecture. I have always been interested in photography and have always been interested in traveling. I would love to combine these two things and be a traveling photojournalist. I also love math and physics and architecture seems like a good balance between math and art.

Tell us about your creative process, from the beginning phases of conception all the way to completion.

I don’t consider myself much of a planner. I’m definitely more of a type B person and jump right into a work without thinking too much about it. I always am thinking, and I usually think of ideas while I’m doing things like driving, walking to class, or other activities.

Once I have a slight idea in my head I usually just start painting, or I’ll sketch a really fast rough layout of a painting and then get started. I find that I always am changing things as I paint, so I usually let my paintings evolve as I make them and see how they change each day I work on them.

Who, or what, is currently inspiring you?

Mostly the environment and my own experiences. I travel a lot, and I also spend lots of time outdoors, which I usually draw my inspiration from. I don’t have any current artists I am drawn to specifically, I am constantly searching for new artists and looking at different works, processes, etc.

RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS FOR ERIN

Favorite movie: National Treasures

Next place you’d like to travel: Alaska to see the northern lights

Guilty pleasure: Ice cream

Last TV show you watched: New Girl

Your superpower: Transporting places at the snap of my finger

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH ERIN

We asked Erin to share a few of images that encapsulated her and her creative process, so enjoy taking a peek inside her studio. You may even recognize some of the pieces!

VIEW ALL OF ERIN’S WORK CURRENTLY FOR SALE.

#art #artist #artistspotlight #artists on tumblr #artstartart

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arguablyarden-blog · 7 years

Text

A (Sorta) New Beginning

Hello, denizens of the Internet, my name is (arguably) Arden.

Which you probably gathered from my username…

Ehem… I have come to Tumblr to do what about fifty-three percent of teenaged girls do: I am going to publically share pretty much my entire life to a bunch of strangers. Which isn’t strange, because I am a teenaged girl. Except, I’m also not. Here’s where the whole “Arguably Arden” part comes into play.

I am bigender. I can be female, male, both, or neither with no real indication or warning signs of switching between genders. I was born as a female, meaning that (most of the time) I am a female-transitioning-to-male, or FTM. And being bigender is not easy.

Let me just state a few facts about myself:

1) While I was born female, my given name is a very male associated name. My sisters and I were given names that would “work” for either male or female children. Nicholas and Nicole. Samuel and Samantha. Ryan and… Ryann. The real kicker here is that my dad added the extra “n” at the last possible moment, without my mother’s imput, to make my name “more girly”. So while normally the name Ryan would be a great name for those in transition, I can’t help but associate it with being female.

2) I am also bisexual. I am bisexual in every gender identity. I could even date someone else who is bigender, although at that point I might be considered pansexual. I was this close to calling this blog “Bi-Bi-Bye” because I am trash who secretly likes boybands and the occasional pun. Also, cooking shows and Bob Ross. But then again, who doesn’t love Bob Ross?

3) I have just recently come to terms with my sexuality and gender identity. I thought for a long time that I was a straight girl, then a bisexual girl, then a bisexual boy, before finally coming across the term bigender. I thought for so long that I was transgender and just hesitant about taking the plunge and getting surgery done. Finally being able to give a name to what I am was the most freeing experience of my life. Finding out that there are other people out in the world who were going through these same problems gave me hope for my future, which I hope to give to others though this blog.

4) I am living at home. I have just graduated high school, and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for Fact of Life number five…

5) I haven’t come out to my family. Not about my sexuality, not about my gender identity, and I don’t have one member of my family I’ve told about all this that I’ve sworn to secrecy. My life is not a tv show. And that’s why I get to pour out my heart and soul into what is basically a glass diary. Everyone can see it, and at any point in time the whole thing could shatter into a million pieces leaving me FUBAR-ed. So yay.

Now that you’ve got some background into how I get to where I am, I figured I’d give some background on who I am.

While trying to figure out my seperate identities for being male/female/amazing amorphous blob, I’ve thrown around different names to call myself. While most people would be content with a masculine/feminine equivalent of their given name, I can’t really do that, as I ranted about in the stereotypical “Get To Know Me” section of this post. So in my infinite wisdom, I went to my favorite naming website to try and pick out some good ones. It’s called BehindTheName.com, and you can use a million different filters to narrow down the thousands of names they have. I use it all the time for short stories I sometimes try to write but never show anyone.

What was I saying? Anyways, back to me. Right now I have three names I am reasonably happy with.

My female name right now is Melanie. Melanie means black or dark. I chose Melanie because, despite being completely female, Melanie will always be a bit of an oddball, or a black sheep. Melanie will always gravitate more towards antique furniture, leather bound books, Victorian fashion, and Old English. Melanie would rather sketch a lakeside than go splash around in the water.

My male name for the moment is Desmond. I’m not going to lie, a large part of why I like the name Desmond so much stems from Desmond Miles from the Assassin’s Creed franchise. Otherwise, Desmond means “from South Munster”. This sounds pretty lame until you learn that the old Kingdom of Desmond in Ireland is full of anchient castles and breathtaking scenary. That’s part of what makes Desmond special, he’s not what you’d expect. He enjoys long car rides and rock songs, but he also like photography and watching the sun set. Desmond love muscle cars and working out, but he also likes watching a good sitcom that’ll make him laugh.

They name I’ll be going by on here is my gender neutral name; Arden. The reason I'm Arguably Arden is because I’m not just Arden. I could be Melanie when I’m writing this, and Desmond when I post it, but Arden will always be okay. I chose Arden as the name I post under because I don’t care if I’m male or female when you try and talk to me or if I try and talk to you. Arden is like the nickname Melanie and Desmond both have in common, and they don’t care if you call them that. Arden is the perfect blend of Melanie’s romanticism with the classics, and Desmond’s fondness of the modern. Other than that, Arden is Celtic for “high”. But that not really why I picked Arden. Arden is a gender neutral name, as well as the name of many towns and cities around the world. Arden can be found in Canada, Denmark, England, Scotland, and the United States. Arden is a name put to a concept that many people can get behind, including Melanie and Desmond.

So this is it. This is my long winded first attempt at any sort of blogging or even writing down my thoughts. If anyone finds me in the great wide nowhere, feel free to let me know. And if you have your own thoughts and opinions towards me and mine, well, you can tell me that to.

And while it doesn’t really matter to anyone, I’m going to try and post here at least once a month, and let you guys know what’s going on. Oh, and in the future, expect a lot more cursing. I was trying to be a good little amorphous blob, but I can’t guarantee anything for the next installment of me. See ya later.

#first post #bigender #bisexual

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