#let me show you my garbage

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

I feel like posting some pictures I've taken in FFXIV. But not the good shit. OLD stuff, before I knew what the hell I was doing.

When I first started, I found gpose intimidating, so most of my early screenshots are of my boys in cutscenes. I still take a fuckton of those, a leftover habit from when I used to write Let's Plays, particularly my LPs of SWTOR. This is the first non-cutscene picture in my folder that I think is worth looking at. You can tell it's old because Tiny Estinien is in it, rather than Duck.

THIS one you can tell is old because it's an old AST animation that died when ShB arrived. I know there are people who like current AST. I know there are people who liked ShB AST. But I haven't liked the class since Stormblood. I loved the SB version of AST, and I doubt they'll ever recapture the magic for me, which is a little sad. I'm willing to be proven wrong, of course, fingers crossed for whatever 7.0 brings.

It took me forever to even notice the lighting controls, and I had basically no eye for photography, so a lot of my early gpose experiments are poorly lit and have shaky composition. But I can't bring myself to get rid of them. They're HISTORY.

I did enjoy seeing exactly how silly dragoons are while messing around with gpose, though. I wish I was better at the class (it's too clunky) because it's exactly the sort of awkwardly endearing vibe I think Dusk carries in general.

Seriously, I just did not mess with lighting at all at first. Which is funny, since lighting is one of my nominal skills. I spent years as a theatrical electrician, I whine about having to work with only three points of light I can't change the angle on constantly. But during the early times? Whatever the lighting happened to be, is what my gpose got lit with.

I think another reason why I keep these is because I can look at them and see all the ways I'd do it better now, and be pleased by my progress. I wavered on if I should show them at all, but you know what? So many people find gpose intimidating. They see people's amazing shit (and there's so much amazing shit!) and think they can't do it. I get complimented on my gpose work now, I know I'm pretty okay. So I want to show I didn't burst forth good at it. I have a lot of awkward shit in my folders!

And even with all the awkward, I have some nice stuff from my first year in FFXIV that I like the look of, even if I wouldn't do it that way now.

[thousandth-island]

Wdym this isn’t what happened

[muirmarie]

Me: I joke about writing the same McCoy centric story over and over again in different ways

Me: and like. I love doing it and imma keep doing it because it makes me happy.

Me: but also. I do sometimes wonder if it's like. A little Much.

Me: like maybe I should branch out or something

Me: [reads another fundamental and extremely insulting misread of McCoy's character by someone who is clearly making a Choice to cast McCoy as the villain, because they have to get him out of the way of spirk, because they're too???? idk immature??? to realize that even when you're in a relationship with one person, other ppl can and SHOULD still be important to you]

Me: lmao I hope I AM too much actually!!!! I hope it is 100% obnoxious how much I love that doctor!!!!! Time to write more versions of the same story of McCoy being forced to realize that he is loved and cared for!!!!!!

Me: I KNOW MY NICHE AND IMMA DIE IN THAT NICHE, THANKS

[knowlesian]

not to project like a motherfucker on natalie berzatto but ohhhh boy the impact of a narrative that says “hey, is your desire to make sure everybody around you is okay also about you? and could that perhaps be partially a maladaptive trauma response you should look into and maybe mitigate? because if it’s a genuine question that’s fine, but if the only answer you will respond well to hearing is yes that’s a You Issue Too, Babe”

[beanghostprincess]

Law would love "House" and Sanji would love "The Bear" yes, but have you considered both of them watching Love Island together

[weareuniqueandimportant]

EMPATHY GLAMORIZATION IS NOT ABOUT EMPATHY BUT SUPERIORITY TORWARDS APATHETIC PEOPLE BIGOTRY TORWARDS THEM TYPICAL BIGOT EVIL. SIMPLE AS THAT. IF YOU SEE THEM AS LEFTIST YOU'RE NO LEFTIST YOURSELF. HORRIBLE. THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE ONLY EMPATHY AND BAD TO THINK EVERYTHING YOU DO IS SUCH ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE CLEARLY BEING APATHETIC IF ANYTHING WHEN THEY DO THIS...

COMES TO SHOW BIGOTRY TORWARDS CRAZY AND DISABLED PEOPLE ASWELL AS PARAPHILIA PEOPLE ISN'T TAKEN AT ALL THE SAME AS SEXISM RACISM AND QUEERPHOBIA... OR PERHAPS... LIKELY... THEY ARE ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS EVIL AND TAKE NONE THAT SERIOUSLY... BELITTLING DOWN THEIR PAIN AND DAMAGE...

[gunthermunch]

let me be honest with you guys i would have gone into hiatus 3400 times and or deleted stuff if it wasnt because we (yes me and you included) love munch so much. its crazy

[bucephaly]

Oh my g-d okay your tags on the Cherokee 'great grandma was a princess' post. 'Spirit wolf' whatever names? According to the BIA, that's literally a sign that a tribe is full of shit. A lot of times, the folks running admin for these groups have names like 'Big Standing Bear Jones'. My personal favorite was 'Buffalo Sister'. It's connected to 'naming ceremonies' they give themselves, which is also a common thing the BIA has noticed with all of these groups. Whatever you do don't go on Tiktok it's terrible there

YEA I think I've seen you talk abt that before, or I've seen it somewhere. It does feel like I see bogus state tribe people talk about getting Naming Ceremonies soooo often and then actual connected people ive seen are like. 'Yea my grandma just called me worm' or smth lmao.

It's so funny cuz the 'cherokee names' in the fake tribes are always in English... or at least mostly. I've even heard someone say 'I was named [such and such in english] and we just don't know what it would be in cherokee yet' like. A cherokee name..... get this... a cherokee name is by definition... in cherokee.

[redbootsindoriath]

I had a friend come to visit last week, and one evening as we sat around drawing together we decided to both draw that scene where Pippin finds Merry after the battle.  I’ve drawn the scene before but not in a while and I’ve changed the design for both the characters.  And even though I am still getting over that art block from this year I had fun.  (Also that Merry-with-braids post has been doing well lately so I decided maybe I should finish off today’s art dump with this one since he has braids here as well.)

[adozentothedawn]

I would like to congratulate Klavier Gavin for both the worst aa name and also being the first prosecuter with pretty much no dirt on him. I am impressed and will be adding him to my (slightly) sad boy collection.

also klapollo is better than writghworth

althought the ship name is terrible and i hate it

[brightlotusmoon]

I like American Dad. I watch it often and I watch the new episodes.

I've been scolded because of it. And at this point, my response is a look of exasperated exhausted disdain.

I'm in my 40s, I've been on hard drugs, I've watched my generation die pointlessly, and nobody makes stomping boots the way they used to. Fuck off. I already know the trope of The Reason This Show Sucks. I literally look up rambling essays about why you shouldn't watch this or that. And I laugh contentedly.

Because I get it. I know it's fucked up. But you, sweet Facebook Friend whom I've barely spoken to, have wasted your typing energy on me. I have been watching the Simpsons since it premiered. My top favorite show of all time is Futurama. I think South Park is funny. And I have genuinely zero fucks that you feel uncomfortable with my viewing habits.

I am able to separate the psychology of This Show Sucks Because X from I Enjoy This Show Because X. They're fictional characters. They're exaggerations of personalities. The recent trend of morality policing fiction is genuinely one of the creepiest things I've experienced, being told directly "it is my job to purge people like you from fandom." Do you realize the implications in that statement made by a 19 year old on Tumblr? It's creepy. These bits of trash fiction should not get you so riled up that you send private messages to people to warn them that you see them. That's also creepy.

Fuck I love heading into middle age. Optimistic Nihilism is a literal thing. I didn't know that until recently. I'm having fun not giving a fuck about some things. My husband, age 46, had the right idea all along.

[pa-pa-plasma]

about to watch an hour & a half long video titled "Why How To Train Your Dragon 3 Is Not Good" & I feel so fucking vindicated right now

[ne0nwithazero]

Had to take some more self-care measures : ^)

[tortademaracuya]

It feels undeserving 👍

[mcalhenwrites]

I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me angry that I spend months and years trying to peddle my work to make ends meet, that I spend so much time mentioning my books and comms and everything, and people ignore that consisently... But the moment I finally break under the hopelessness - when it's obvious that it's fucking futile, that almost no one deems my work good enough to share with anyone else - suddenly they're concerned and scolding me. I'm working several jobs, bathing, generally keeping things clean, and I do this with several health problems including chronic pain. I found out that one of my cysts is growing and I may need to have it surgically removed. Which means potentially missing work to recover. Which means more money I lose. I spend so much time crawling out of the hole and it goes ignored, but the moment I just give up bc I don't have any strength left, suddenly that's my fault and I'm mentally sick. And that kind of makes me wish my entire situation upon people, and when they whine that it's hard, well fuck you, you thought I could ace it so surely you can, babe! I hate being angry about this, but it's just so exhausting to tell people who accuse me of not trying that I HAVE I HAVE SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION THEN Or you know you're attempting to gaslight me by claiming I didn't try despite that I obviously have worked my ass off trying, and that's so much fucking worse

[slippery-minghus]

oof. going to the gym today was the opposite of helpful for my pain levels. gah