#levi wants all the thrill rides

[pear1ridge-a]

thinking so hard again ab tate going to disneyland

[another-lost-mc]

a/n: the younger brothers and dateables will be coming later, I didn't want this post to get too long.

size kink feat. the older brothers

nsfw (suggestive and explicit) | 1.5k words | gn!reader

content warnings: implied short reader and size/strength kink (is that a thing? it is now.) slight predator/prey kink and demon form mentioned (lucifer); ab riding/face sitting/reader on top (mammon); being a perv, blowjobs (levi).

LUCIFER

realization

Lucifer really notices your height—or lack thereof—the first time you stand up against him. You cross your arms over your chest and glare at him in defiance, voice raised in defense of his troublesome siblings and arguing against the punishment he decided for them. He always wondered how long it would take for you to finally break through that passive shell of yours. It's lovely to finally feel some pride radiating from you too, and it makes you even more enticing. Unfortunately, he'll have to savor this moment later—he still has an image to uphold, and he's not going to be dressed down publicly by someone so small. He meets your anger with his own authoritative stubbornness, a clash of wills that will inevitably end in your surrender like all your other disagreements with him in the past. He bends at the waist so that his face is directly in front of yours, your noses nearly brushing as he smirks.

"Care to repeat that for me one more time? I couldn't hear you all the way down here."

nsfw

Some nights when Lucifer takes you to bed, he scoops you into his arms and carries you over the threshold to his room while you melt against his chest. Other nights you skirt out of his gasp and dart away, teasing him with a little thrill of the hunt. Your playful taunts echo in the halls and lust surges through the blood that pumps in his veins. All he has to do is follow your scent and you're his. It doesn't matter how much of a head start he gives you because the chase ends the same way every time: being lifted into his arms and tossed on his oversized bed. You bounce on the mattress and barely have time to catch your breath before he's suddenly on top of you and caging you underneath him. His hands fist the sheets on either side of your head and his facial features blur when he leans down, eager to capture your lips as his hard-earned prize. Once he's peeled away your clothes—or ripped them off, depending on how long you teased him with your little game—he can finally smother your soft, naked body with his own. He positions you whatever way he likes: easily raising your hips to meet his steady thrusts, or pushing back on your thighs when he folds you in half and buries himself even deeper in the soft, tight heat of your body. His raven-black wings unfurl at his back and block everything else from sight. The feathers twitch with pleasure and brush against the sides of your body. You're completely enveloped by him—all you can see in the dark canopy of his embrace is his smoldering ruby eyes and his lips curling around the shape of your name when he comes.

MAMMON

realization

Mammon is used to running away from things: his problems, his debt collectors, Lucifer. He's fast and slippery and hard to catch. When you become his unofficial partner in crime, he expects you might have some trouble keeping up—you're only human, after all—but damn, can't you run just a bit faster? When you both stop to catch your breath, or rather when he stops so you can catch your breath, you complain about his long legs and demonic stamina, blah blah blah. He knew you were short, but are you that much shorter than him? You lean against the wall for support while you wait for the burning in your lungs and legs to ease up, completely oblivious to the way his eyes rake up and down your body. He glances at his hands and back to your legs. Y'know, I bet I could wrap my whole hand around those thighs, and—

nsfw

Mammon feels like he's giving control to someone else when he takes you to bed. You hold so much wicked power over him, and the fact that you're so much smaller makes the sensation even more intoxicating. You squirm nervously in his lap while his eyes rake over your bare skin and he licks his lips. It's so fuckin' hot for both of you because he gives you this power freely. You can tease him with kisses and grind slowly against his hips, or you can bounce on his cock while you chase your own pleasure and deny him his. Both of you know that within a blink of an eye, he could easily flip you over and fold you in half before he fucks you senseless, or he could put you on your knees and push your shoulders to the mattress for an even deeper angle when he buries himself to the hilt. He could do that if he wanted to, but for now, he can be patient. He strokes between your legs with his thick fingers and stretches you open while you straddle his abs and try not to smear yourself all over his tummy. Maybe if your scent drives him crazy, he'll curl his hands around your thighs and drag you up his body 'til his tongue can flick against your entrance. There's nothing sweeter than the way you whimper his name and tangle your fingers in his hair while he sucks greedily at the slick arousal between your legs. Each tug on his hair makes his cock ache and his resolve starts to splinter. Maybe you're not the one in control, after all.

LEVIATHAN

realization

Levi likes the feeling of your body leaning against his when you sit next to each other on the sofa in his room. It's not convenient for gaming—your elbows bump each other and it messes up the controls something fierce—but for watching movies or anime? He doesn't call it cuddling but that's basically what this is. He drapes one of his favourite blankets over both your laps and sometimes there's a bowl of popcorn between you, or you pass a box of candy back and forth to each other. Your head rests against his shoulder and sometimes when he turns towards you, his chin grazes over the top of your head. If you squirm a bit to readjust yourself, he looks over and just happens to peek down the gap of your shirt. He glances away while his face burns bright red because he didn't mean to. Now that he knows how easy it is, it gets harder and harder not to look at the bare glimpses of skin you inadvertently put on display for him. He feels bad and just a little dirty, but he can't help it. He couldn't resist your charms before, why should he try to deny the temptation now? So what if he spends the rest of the movie imagining you in other less-than-innocent ways—he's seen this movie plenty of times. You won't even know he wasn't paying attention, and he can get away with letting his fantasies run wild while you cuddle beside him unaware.

nsfw

Sometimes it's hard to get Levi's attention if he's busy playing games or if he's engrossed in a movie he really enjoys. If one more boss fight turns into two more boss fights, or even three, it's not your fault if you have to resort to dirty tactics. He usually spreads his legs wide when he's at his desk or on his sofa—it's comfortable, and he's used to being selfish with his space and not considering whether his guests need leg room too. It's so convenient that nothing turns him on more than the sight of you sinking to your knees and shuffling between his legs. You look so small kneeling at his feet, and your hands can barely wrap around his cock when you pull it free from the tight confines of his pants and guide the tip into your mouth. You lick over the slit and lap up the pearly beads of precum before sliding your lips down inch by inch. It's the perfect combination of slick heat and tight pressure that makes him dizzy, and you can almost feel the deep, rumbling groan that reverberates in his chest. Each time you bob your head, he pants a little faster and his whines sound a little more desperate—your spit dribbles down his shaft and it eases the glide. It sounds so lewd and hot when you hollow your cheeks and suck on the tip before swallowing him back down. Sometimes his hips jerk up when you flick your tongue just right; you can't fit him all into your mouth and you choke a little when his cock hits the back of your throat. He feels bad because he likes it when you sputter around him, and it's not much longer before he's whimpering your name and spilling his release into your mouth. If he's really lucky, you won't be able to swallow it all and he can watch his cum smear across your mouth and drip slowly down your chin.

[fandom-go-round]

Obey Me! Demon Brothers’ #1 kinks?

I did some classics and some new ones here, just having some fun. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Sex, Sexual Situations, Wax Play, Orgasm Denial, Somophilia, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Cock Warming, Voyeurism, Semi Public Sex, Sex Videos, Taking Photos During Sex

Lucifer is really into wax play. Not just the wax of course but the entire set up and prep. Having you willingly give into him, let him tie you up and then trust him to know your limits? He’s so hard it hurts. You’ve already cum twice before he even gets to the candles, the scent your favorite. He’s determined to draw this out so be ready; he’s not going to stop until the flames snuff out.

Mammon is into orgasm denial, both for himself and you. There are days when he’s being extra whiny and bratty. Those are the best days to make him work for his orgasm; he’ll do anything to cum. Be ready for him to flip the scrip though. He wants you to feel good for as long as you let him. He wants all of your attention all of the time. Call him a brat or praise him, as long as you give it your all and Mammon will return it times ten.

Levi’s biggest kink is anal sex. It doesn’t sound like much but it’s the one thing Levi goes back to consistently. He loves are sorts of things but has issues expressing what he really wants. Anal is ‘tame’ enough that he doesn’t mind requesting it and that makes him more comfortable to bring up other kinks. He always wants to use his tail, especially when doing anal. Be clear and gentle with Levi and he’ll reveal all his dirty secrets to you.

Satan loves a long cock warming session. It’s two fold; he loves being close and intimate with you but he’s also a horrible tease and wants to see how long you can hold out. He’ll happily pick up a book or start studying with you in his lap. He might scold you for squirming but he doesn’t mean it; Satan loves seeing how desperate you are for him. If you’re ever able to reverse the positions? He’s not going to last long, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes as he grits his teeth. He’s gorgeous.

Asmo loves voyeurism in all forms. From having sex in a semi-public space to teasing you in public, he’s into it all. He never wants to do it where you’ll actually get caught but the thrill can get him going. If you’re not into that, it’s alright. Asmo also loves to take pictures of you and record videos. His eyes only of course! But if you pose for him and let him snap a quick pic? Oooh he’ll love you even more!

Beel is a man with simple tastes. Simple tastes meaning you on his tongue of course. He’s into oral, not if ands or buts. Beel is happiest between your legs, wherever is most comfortable for you. On the bed? He’ll kneel on the floor. Straddling his face? Don’t worry babe, he’s got you. Against the wall? He’ll hold you up. Just don’t ask him to stop any time soon, he’s content where he is.

Belphie isn’t a huge surprise but he loves sleepy sex. He loves the feeling of being half awake and sliding into you, rolling his hips slowly. It’s even better when you’re the one riding him, barely raising your hips as you fuck yourself on him. He can’t help but mark you up with his teeth and hands; his hips might not be moving but that doesn’t mean the rest of him isn’t.

[authormars]

How I think brothers would act in a water park

I am at a resort where there is a water park so you are all subjected to this

Lucifer is a mix of wanting to ride every ride and also just lay in the lazy river. I am a firm believer Lucifer enjoys thrill rides and enjoys the water (not as much as Levi, but still enjoys it) So, on one hand, he loves the thrill of those big water rides. On the other hand, he is an old man who just wants to relax.

Mammon is constantly splashing everyone. Especially Lucifer, who is trying to not get his hair wet if he's in the lazy river because he hates having to wash his hair like four times to get the chlorine out. Mammon is a little chaos gremlin, pushing people into pools and getting everyone wet. Loves water rides, but the bigger ones scare him.

Levi absolutely loves the water, but not necessarily the rides. He'll spend all day in the wavepool and lazy river, but he strays away from the rides. If he is forced on a ride, it's a two person ride with Mammon.

Satan enjoys the lazy river because he can read in it. He also enjoys fast rides, but not the ones where you go side to side in a funnel. He finds them terrifying and almost always ends up backwards (mainly bc he rides with Asmo, Levi, and Belphie normally)

Asmo doesn't like the water. It ruins his hair and he has to shower a lot afterward. He's dragged on rides by Satan or Mammon.

Beel loves rides and the water! He loves the wave pool and will go on any ride with anyone. Except Diavolo. Diavolo is a safety hazard.

Belphie will be dragged there. He's fine to go on most things, but won't scream or anything. Unless he's with Satan on a ride with Lucifer, in which case he will do everything in his power to flip the tube

Part two with the side characters will be done soon and linked here, when I am not on vacation with my friends

Link to part two

Once again, I thank everyone for their support. Asks, reblogs, and comments appreciated!!

[blithesharem]

Obey Me Brothers - Most Shameful Kink HC’s

What kinks do the boys keep locked up extra tight?

Sailors Beware…dead dove do not read if you’re going to clutch your pearls thx

Lucifer - Shibaru/Robe Bondage on him

Lucifer is perfectly happy to be all dom all the time, and he loves tying you up. But deep down in his naughtiest dreams he’s burning up at the thought of you standing over him, the silk ropes against his skin, being at the mercy of your small, soft hands…Something about being restrained by someone as fragile and gentle as you keeps him up at night. He’d never suggest it but if you did? Oh, there would be clear signs of his pleasure. He might even let you gag him so all you can hear are his pants and groans as you take your time with him.

Mammon - Pegging

Look. He can explain, okay? Having your hand on the back of his neck, pressing his face into the sheets? Or squeezing his hips as you hold his thighs open and fuck him? Mammon wants to be a sloppy mess only for you, and giving you total command like this will have him cumming more than once. The sight of you strapped up alone is enough to have him panting like a dog.

Speaking of dogs, if you’re a lover who already has a dick? Pet play. Put a collar on him and let him be your good boy. Make sure you praise him lots and he’ll do whatever his master commands.

Leviathan - Choking

Sex between you two already gets plenty kinky between roleplaying and gender play, but what really makes Levi explode is the idea of your warm hands wrapped around his throat squeezing. He wants to be utterly at your mercy, just a dirty toy you’re using to cum, bruising your thighs with his fingers as you ride him. Spit in his mouth and degrade him while choking him and he’ll be seeing stars. The soothing aftercare makes the abuse feel all the better and the peeks in the mirror of the bruises give him thrills all day long.

Satan - Public Sex

Satan is a stickler for rules and takes reputation and decorum seriously…which is why the thought of you getting so worked up you just have to take him in the back of the library makes him burn. Oral in alleys, fucking under your skirt in an almost empty movie theater…Satan hates that he loves it but god does he love it. You almost wouldn’t know, with the effort he makes to resist the temptation, but letting you get him more and more worked up until he can’t help himself any longer is part of the fun.

Asmodeus - Cuckholding

There is very little that doesn’t get Asmo’s fire going, and less that he wouldn’t tell you about. Even this he’s not exactly ashamed of…it’s just a little off brand for him. Of course, he’s not going to be satisfied by watching you get fucked by just anybody. Oh no. Asmo wants to watch you get cock drunk destroyed by at least two demons, if not more. He wants to be able to get a perfect view of every single orgasm they pound out of you, and draping over an armchair, sipping champagne and watching the show is the perfect way to do that. The idea that he’s not allowed to touch you, and you’re not allowed to touch him, makes him even hotter, so plan to spend the next morning reliving every detail with him rutting inside of (or riding) you (in between godly pampering sessions of course).

Beelzebub - Sleep Sex

This is more expected from his twin, and it makes Beel red to talk about, but…sometimes when he gets back to bed after a late night snack, and you’re laying there so warm, and vulnerable, and innocent looking…well, just a few licks can’t hurt right? If you’re already naked it’s even harder to resist hilting his thick cock inside of you, doing his best to move slowly and not let his moans wake you. It’s never long before he can’t help himself however, and you’ve been awoken by mind blowing orgasms more than once, pinned to the bed by his body with his moans in your ear.

Belphagor - Travel vibrators/orgasm denial

Belphie’s maintains he’s not a sadist like some demons he could mention, but he is a brat, and he loves torturing you. He wants to watch you squirming all day, before turning up the heat during a council meeting or one of Lucifer’s lectures. No matter how good you think you get at hiding your arousal, he can always tell, and knows how to keep you just on the cusp of orgasming. He wants you dripping wet and begging by the time he gets you home and finally let’s you cum around his cock. And if you turn the tables and take a turn keeping him riding the edge for too long? You’ll get to hear some of the dirtiest words he knows as he whines and pleads.

[666writingcafe]

Quick-Fire Headcanons (12)

Asmo will dance in the car while he’s stuck at a traffic light.

Barbatos gets a thrill out of haggling.

Simeon gets mistaken for an employee wherever he goes; it doesn’t help that he basically enables people’s behavior.

Mammon wants to ride all of the rollercoasters at an amusement park.

Diavolo would spend all of his money on carnival games if Barbatos and Lucifer didn’t stop him.

Lucifer is usually so tired that he doesn’t care if his feet stick out of the covers as he sleeps.

People would assume that Solomon is tone deaf, but he actually has near-perfect pitch.

Levi and Diavolo would make excellent DJs.

A little-known fact about Beel is that he’s really good at beatboxing.

Asmo can turn anything into a musical instrument.

Diavolo has a tendency to celebrate anniversaries on the wrong day, but because he’s the Demon Prince, everyone around him simply moves the date of the original anniversary to whatever day he wants to celebrate it.

When Cerberus was a puppy, Lucifer took lots of pictures of him and showed them to everyone he knew.

Mammon has volunteered to help with someone’s event before, but then turns around and sends them a bill, demanding that they pay him for his service.

Asmo has mailed envelopes full of glitter to his enemies before.

Satan and Simeon both have binders full of essays on why they were right, but only Satan will crack his open to use in an argument.

Mammon and Asmo draw on the chalkboard when the teacher is out of the room.

Barbatos and Lucifer are certified in Devildom first aid training.

Simeon once mowed Purgatory Hall’s yard at 1 am as he was sleepwalking (scaring Luke and Solomon in the process).

Belphie will often leave new rolls of toilet paper on top of the toilet, much to the chagrin of all of his brothers and MC.

Beel cannot have any drinks in Styrofoam cups because he will squeeze the cup so hard that he punctures it and loses his drink.

Simeon and Lucifer still have the default background for both their computer and phone.

Solomon would feed seagulls (and other birds) laxatives.

Luke really likes pancakes, especially the ones that look like cartoon characters.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 11: April I

{{ Chapter 10: March I | Chapter 12: May I }} Chapter Directory

noooow y'all can understand why i had to rename the ex-boyfriend to zack instead of having him be porco because i made him too much of a dick skdjfksd

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, the ex boyfriend that used to be porco that i renamed to zack, emotionally abusive behavior, negative self-talk, levi being kinda mean again, levi being bad at feelings ✧ word count ➼ ~7.2k

It was finally spring break. After the events of last month, you were more than ready to leave town and get a much needed vacation. Luckily, Hizuru wasn't far and was just across the bay, so you got a nice cruise ride in addition to your time spent at the resort. You decided to keep this trip just between you and Petra, spending the week with just the two of you to recharge and be ready to take on the rest of the semester once you came back.

Levi couldn't be more thrilled. The past few months have all involved something related to you that ended up distracting him from reading or writing. Having you gone for a week means he can finally catch up on work without being distracted by your shenanigans every other week. 

However, he currently found himself standing at the doorway of the apartment, glancing into the living room. He was thrilled for sure, but despite that, he seemed to have a heavy heart when he entered his empty apartment. It didn't make any sense to him. Why would he feel remorseful that you're gone when all you've ever done is be a pain in the ass to him?

He couldn't deny it. He missed you. Levi felt a confusing mix of emotions and he couldn't keep his mind off you all week. Given your habits with partying, he wondered how you were doing on your own in a foreign town. Sure, Petra was with you, but she could hardly count as a sober contact. If she was drinking with you, you'd have to rely on yourself to get home, which was unsettling to him.

He found himself both looking forward to and dreading you getting back home. It got to the point that when you did find yourself back home, Levi did everything in his power to ignore your presence. He was too confused and lost in his thoughts to want to be around you. He would have a mix of happy thoughts and distressing ones of confusion and anxiety while you were around. Thus, he barely said a word to you once you got home.

"Nice to see you too, I guess," you mumbled, a little taken aback by your roommate's increased level of aloofness. 

Ever since November and especially since January, the two of you had started to bond. Levi wasn't always referring to you as an annoying undergrad and you no longer saw him as just your "grumpy roommate". You understood each other more and there was some foundation of basic respect there, but none of that was to be seen at the moment. 

You awkwardly shifted around the house as you unpacked your suitcase from the trip.

"Hey, have you seen my phone charger?" you asked Levi, who was standing in the kitchen, brewing his late afternoon tea. 

"No," he said, glancing at you. "Why would I have?"

"You're the one that's been here all week," you said with a shrug.

"Yeah," Levi scoffed, "actually doing work, unlike whatever the fuck you were doing across the bay."

You frowned at him, slightly offended by his comment.

"Hey, I was doing work!" you said with a pout. "Whatever. Can I borrow your charger then? My phone's almost dead."

"What else is new?" Levi said dryly.

You were on your way to grabbing his phone charger when you heard him make that comment and you immediately halted, scowling while looking back at him.

"Okay, what the hell is up with you?" you said sternly as you walked back towards him. "You've barely said a word to me ever since I got home. Did I say something? Do something? Did I not clean something the way you wanted it?"

Levi responded with an overly exasperated groan.

"God, it's such a pain in the ass to have you back again."

You fell quiet at his comment. The fact that this was all he said in response to your questions over what you did wrong indicated to you that it was just your presence that he was pissed about. You weren't sure why his comment stung you as harshly as it did. He essentially thought the same thing when you first moved in and you didn't give a single shit—but now the idea of him hating you made you want to shut down and hide.

"Well," you spoke quietly, "I'm sorry being around me is so bothersome for you."

Levi didn't respond, which only confirmed your suspicions. 

You clenched your fists as you felt your emotions beginning to rise up and threaten to boil over.

He was an asshole. That's all he was and that never changed and you were a fool to think otherwise. He probably hated you for all the times he had to come rescue you from some dumb situation that you found yourself in.

"Whatever," you whispered as you walked past him and grabbed your phone and keys.

"Where are you going?" Levi said with a sigh as you opened the door.

"Getting some air, I guess," you grumbled before glancing back at him without fully making eye contact. "I thought we were over this."

~~~~~

You had stormed out in such a hurry that you didn't even bother to change into outdoor clothes. You were currently swinging alone at an empty playground that had been long abandoned for the day due to the incoming storm. The wind blew through your hair, which had come undone from its ponytail and you lacked the motivation to put it back up. You were wearing a loose t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants on. 

Normally, you'd feel a sense of shame for being out in public like this—but right now, you couldn't give less of a shit. You needed to get away from Levi.

Things had begun to improve ever since November when he took you on that drive after your aunt had decided to tear your entire life apart through a single phone call. You had reached some point of mutual respect. He wasn't the aloof asshole you thought he was, and you weren't the naïve undergrad that he thought you were. After January, it even seem like he cared for your well-being. He went out in the middle of the night searching for you and even went out of his way to care for you when you were sick. 

Yet, he seemed to have completely regressed after you came back from spring break. What if you were misreading him? What if his opinion about you never actually changed and you were just deluding yourself? 

Maybe I should find another apartment after all.

Levi's lack of a response earlier when you were trying to figure out what was wrong only confirmed your suspicion that he thought you were a nuisance. You had asked him what you did wrong so you can do better, and all he responded with was that he was sick of having you around. If it was a few months ago, you'd be more than happy to continue being a nuisance to him. With how grumpy he always was, it felt like a comedic job to you. 

However, after you had opened up to him about your dynamic with your aunt and even slightly alluded to your situation with Zack, you had hoped that dynamic would have changed or at least improved. The fact that it didn't seem to wear away at you. 

His comment had hurt you.

You gripped at the chain holding the swing onto the bar above it as thoughts of your inability to hold any type of long-term friendship began to swirl around in your mind. Oluo and Gunther were surface-level at best. You called Petra your 'best friend', but even that relationship felt shallow, as if she was just tolerating you. You were always the one reaching out. 

Being tolerated was a feeling you were used to. After all, that basically summed up your relationship with Zack. You had started off as high school sweethearts, but over the course of the three years that was your stormy relationship with him, you knew that he only tolerated your presence, which is why he was more than ready to kick you out in June.

As if he was listening in on your thoughts, you felt your phone buzz and frowned when you saw that you had received a text from your ex-boyfriend.

> [zack (3:45pm)]: we need to talk. i'll pick you up at the bar we used to go to. > [you (3:46pm)]: why > [zack (3:51pm)]: wtf do you mean why? plus some of your shit is still at my place > [you (3:53pm)]: wonder who's fault that was > [zack (3:54pm)]: the hell is up with this attitude? just get to the bar, i'll be there in 20.

~~~~~

Levi's day had been going terribly. Without even considering your little tantrum, he was already stressed about a research update he had to do in two weeks that he hadn't had the time to work on. 

The forefront of his mind blamed it on you. You came home and immediately began disrupting his life and bringing chaos home again—but he knew that wasn't true. It wasn't your fault. You were gone for an entire week throughout spring break and he still wasn't able to get anything done. His inability to work had nothing to do with you. 

Upon realizing that fact, he scrunched his eyebrows together, wondering if he had actually been a bit too cold with you once you got home. He had caught himself getting much softer with you throughout the last month, even allowing you to sleep in the same bed with him because you had a nightmare. That, itself, was already unheard of for Levi Ackerman. 

He brought out his phone. The time was a bit past 6:30pm. He had around two hours before he had to get to the café to pick up a closing shift from Onyankopon. He opened up his text message thread with you and frowned, wondering if he should shoot you an apology message.

Eventually, he decided against it. After all, why should he apologize to you when you were the one being a little shit? 

Still, you were gone for a while. It was around 2:00pm when you stormed out of the apartment, and it was starting to get late.

He placed his phone in his pocket, annoyed for even getting remotely concerned about your well-being for something as simple as you stepping out of the house for the day. He could feel himself getting attached, despite all of his efforts to get himself not to. The feelings that you elicited out of him were miserable to deal with and he knew the best way to get rid of them was to put a stop to any feelings of this newfound attachment. Why he was even getting attached to you in the first place was astonishing. It pissed him off.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he shut his laptop and got up from his desk, walking out of his bedroom. He grabbed his jacket off of the coat hanger as well as his car keys, deciding on going for a drive in an attempt to clear his mind from any remaining thoughts of you.

~~~~~

After an exceedingly awkward dinner and car ride with your ex-boyfriend, you finally arrived back at Zack's apartment. You felt an uncomfortable, dull feeling appear in your chest as you walked into the apartment that you had lived in for the first two years of your undergrad. It could hardly be even called an apartment. It appeared more like a loft that had multiple bedrooms and bathrooms and nearly triple the amount of the living space that you currently had in your apartment with Levi. It was obnoxiously luxurious and it ironically made you appreciate your humble lifestyle with Levi now.

You shuffled awkwardly as you followed Zack towards the dining room area. The t-shirt and sweatpants that you wore felt out of place and inappropriate. He rarely saw you like this, if ever. Even when you were home for the entire day, you were constantly wearing outdoor clothes, like a blouse and jeans, around him. That's just how you were. Appearing the way you did now around him felt wrong, although you couldn't quite explain why. It wasn't that you were uncomfortable with dressing more casually—you did that at home now all the time, but the minute that you stepped out the door of your home and into Zack's, you began to feel your anxiety rise up.

"Well, you certainly look like a slob," Zack mumbled, glancing at your outfit.

"Well, I didn't have time to dress up for you, Your Majesty," you retorted, frowning at him, "since you decided to text me last minute."

Zack was not used to this outspoken nature of your personality. When you were with him, you were much more pleasurable to be around—at least according to Zack. He did not appreciate this new facet of your personality that has suddenly arisen within the past few months.

He made a head nod towards a box of some of your stuff that was casually thrown into a corner of the living room. You looked over before taking a seat at the dining table.

"What did you want to talk about?" 

He sat down across from you.

"Listen," he began, and you immediately clenched your jaw, having a basic idea of where this was going. "I know I overreacted when we left off. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. I shouldn't have kicked you out."

Your mind went back to the fateful interaction with Zack that led to you being forced to find an apartment last minute. No matter how you tried to rationalize it, you knew that Zack was controlling and prone to getting extremely angry whenever you resisted his wishes. Small grievances with him had built up to a penultimate point in which you confronted him and he reacted poorly.

If this was any other day, you'd likely immediately tell him to fuck off—but the events of the day that had happened earlier with Levi left you much more emotionally vulnerable than usual. You'd be lying if the idea of falling into someone's arms didn't bring even the slightest amount of comfort to your mind—even if that someone was Zack. 

However, as Zack continued to monologue about the potential of you moving back in with him, you began to pull up the reality of your relationship with him. You were definitely more unhappy than you were willing to admit to anyone and you knew it had something to do with his controlling nature. He had kept you pretty isolated from any potential friends—and now that you think about it, that could be why you struggled with making and keeping deep friendships now. 

No matter how desperate you were right now for some form of intimacy to make up for the turmoil swirling within you throughout the latter half of the day, the last thing you wanted to do was get back together with someone that felt the need to dictate your every move and action. 

"You're the one that kicked me out, Zack," you said once he finally gave you a chance to speak.

"Well, now I'm inviting you back in."

"What if I don't want to?" you responded, feeling your anxiety kicking in. Zack hadn't even done anything yet, but your instincts immediately dumped all of the reactions that constituted being anxious onto you.

"What the fuck do you mean you 'don't want to'?" Zack asked, scowling at you, the anger beginning to creep into his voice.

You took a deep breath, clenching your fist that was resting on your lap to maintain your resolve.

"I said what I said. You kicked me out and I'm over it."

At this point, Zack had fully realized that he can't control you anymore, which further irritated him.

"Whatever," he said, waving you off. "Just take your shit and leave."

"Gladly," you responded coldly as you began to get up. 

"I'm not driving you."

You stopped and looked back at him. You weren't that surprised by his comment, but you still felt a little off-put by his lack of remorse to just leave you stranded again.

"The buses around here aren't running this late."

"Sounds like a you problem."

You remembered this. If Zack got pissed at you and didn't get what he wanted from you, then no one was getting anything at all. 

"You really expect me to walk?" 

He shrugged.

"Or sleep on the streets until the buses are up. I don't really give a shit."

You felt your anxiety quickly turn into anger and frustration as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up. The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of the person responsible for all of your recent misfortunes, but what was currently happening was representative of all the bullshit that you had to deal with for three years.

"Fine," you said quietly as you headed for the door, not even bothering to grab your stuff from him. "You're a dick."

As you walked out the door, you felt your breathing quickly destabilizing.

Recently, the only person you had been regularly referring to as a dick was your grumpy roommate. However, after having this interaction with Zack, you realized that Zack was actually a dick and that Levi was nowhere close to it. It brought up a slight sense of guilt regarding your hostility towards your roommate. You would choose living with Levi over moving back in with Zack any day.

Reminiscing about your attitude towards your roommate immediately reminded you of him, and although you were still mad at him for his behavior earlier, you knew that you could at least trust him to not leave you stranded. 

As a result, you immediately pulled out your phone and shot him a quick text, asking if he could pick you up as you continued to navigate your way out of Zack's apartment complex.

~~~~~

The rain had already started pouring. There wasn't too much wind, but the rainfall was heavy, which would have made it even more impossible to walk home if you were forced into that decision. Instead, you were waiting for Levi to arrive, seeking shelter under the canopy of Zack's apartment building to stay dry.

You glanced up as you heard the front door open and saw that Zack came downstairs with the box of your belongings with the intention of tossing it all into the dumpster. You watched as all of your former stuff disappeared into the green container of garbage. 

When Zack saw you on his way back, he scowled at you.

"When I said sleep on the streets, I didn't mean here. Fuck off."

"You fuck off," you replied, matching his scowl. 

The two of you held a staring contest for a few minutes until you heard a car drive up out of the corner of your eye. A feeling of relief washed over you once you saw that it was Levi's. You could finally go home and forget this nightmare.

He had arrived faster than expected, and part of you knew that this was likely due to a combination of the situation that had occurred in January and how far out you currently were. Plus, at this point, he was probably more than ready to expect texts from you to ask him to pick you up. It had become a pattern, although you weren't entirely sure how you felt about that fact.

You did not include in your text message the reasoning as to why you were trapped at an apartment that was a 20-minute drive from campus, so you weren't too surprised when you saw a look of concern on Levi's face as he saw you scowling at who he was able to deduce as your ex-boyfriend.

"You'd really call anyone to pick you up, huh?" Zack said to you as you began to walk off. "You're fucking pathetic."

If you were the same person that you were when you were with him, then his insult might have had some merit. If this was a year ago, you really wouldn't have had anyone to call. You didn't have any reliable friends back then, and that's likely what Zack still believed to be the case now.

"He's my roommate, you asshole," you said as you grit your teeth, "and a much better one than you ever were."

Your last comment must have made something snap within Zack's psyche, as he immediately grabbed onto your wrist before you were able to walk further towards Levi's car. 

In the split second before you were forced to turn around to face Zack, you were able to see Levi's face transition from one of confusion to one of immediate concern as he began to move out of the car to see what was going on.

"What, I leave you for less than a year and you're already hoeing around with other men?" Zack scolded. "Why the fuck would you get a male roommate? Did you do this shit-"

"Just leave me alone, Zack!" you yelled back at him as you yanked your wrist back from him.

"You're fucking pathetic, _____. I'm giving you maybe another two weeks before you come crawling-"

"Do you ever shut up?" a third voice said.

You looked up and saw that Levi had walked over from the car after seeing the commotion. He held an irritated look on his face that was directed towards your ex-boyfriend, able to fully deduce the context of what was going on.

Zack was caught off-guard by your roommate coming out of the car to come to your defense. He was almost half a foot taller than Levi, but Levi's commanding presence took up all the space between them, making it so that it took Zack a few seconds longer than usual to come up with a retort.

Levi rolled his eyes at him as he turned to follow you after you began to storm towards the car, not paying particular attention to Zack, who had begun to open his mouth to speak again. 

Any word that came out of his mouth was unheard, although you couldn't tell if that was due to your own thoughts overwhelming you or if it was because of the rain and wind that was rapidly picking up into a full-fledged storm. 

Once you finally got into the car and shut the door, you buried your face in your hands as the tears finally flowed out from your eyes and down your cheeks, eventually collecting in the palms of your hands, only adding onto the chaotic whirl of thoughts that were running rampant in your head.

~~~~~

Levi remained silent as you continued to sob quietly in the passenger's seat, giving you time and space to process whatever the hell just happened.

You peeked through your fingers as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. With how frequently it was vibrating, you were already able to tell that it was Zack spamming you with text messages.

You glanced at your phone, opening the texts, although you were barely able to see with your tears clouding your vision. You vaguely saw a string of text messages of Zack calling you pathetic, a burden, a waste of three years of his life, and everything in-between. You clenched at your phone as you felt more tears gathering up in your eyes and you shakily navigated to his contact information to block him before tossing your phone into the back seat of the car.

After a few more minutes, you felt your breathing stabilize and you rubbed at your now-swollen eyes.

"I assume that's your shitty ex?" Levi finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you.

"Wonder how you figured that out," you grumbled with a sniffle.

"Tch," Levi said as he clenched his jaw, more than a little annoyed with the attitude that was attached to that response. "Why'd you have to choose the one night that I have to work an extra shift to pull this shit? How the fuck does you 'getting some air' translate into this?"

While Levi's grumpy attitude and snarky remarks were something you were usually used to and barely fazed by, given the fact that you were already really emotional and vulnerable from what had just happened with Zack made Levi berating you hurt much more than usual.

"I'm sorry, okay?!" you yelled out. "I didn't know who else to call. You could've said no."

Levi glanced at you for a moment. He found himself getting increasingly annoyed.

That wasn't the point. He wasn't annoyed because he had to come out to get you. That was the least of his concerns. What had concerned him more was what could have happened if he didn't come to get you. What annoyed him the most was how reckless you were and how you were never able to see that.

"Why did you even go to see him anyway? You said he's your ex? The one that was dragging you around all over the place and-"

"I don't know, okay?!" you yelled out again, feeling increasingly frustrated with every word that was coming out of Levi's mouth. "He just texted me and said we needed to talk and as usual I was dumb enough to listen to him. I don't even know what the hell I was looking for. The minute I got into his car, I was able to tell that he wanted to do something along the lines of getting back together and I was enough of an idiot to believe even for a second that it was genuine—and then I saw how pissed he got when I said no and he kicked me out all over again and I'm always, always, always making these stupid decisions and it's probably just a burden on everyone around me: Zack, you, my aunt—hell, probably even Petra and Oluo and-"

"Cut that out," Levi said in an attempt to cut off your rambling.

"-and my aunt was probably right in that I'm literally wasting my life getting a degree in something that might not even get me a guaranteed job. Literally every single decision I have ever made in my entire life has been a fucking disaster and I bet you can't fucking wait to get rid of me once summer arrives, because I'd be wanting to get rid of me, too! And-"

"God dammit, cut that shit out, _____!" 

The storm was pouring down on you full-force at this rate, almost as if it was mirroring how volatile your emotions were.

As soon as Levi snapped at you, you clenched your fists, nearly trembling with rage.

After a few seconds of saying nothing, you decided you had enough. You immediately went to undo your seatbelt, fumbling around a bit more than usual due to the shaking that you couldn't seem to control.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Levi asked as he noticed your movements. 

His eyes widened and he had to slam down on the brake pedal as he noticed you open the door to the car as he was still driving. 

Luckily, he wasn't going very fast in the first place due to the storm, but you still ended up stumbling out of the car, nearly falling straight down onto the soaked concrete.

He slowly came to a stop right next to you, leaning towards the passenger seat as the door still hung open.

You shot him a glare before turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Where the hell are you going in the middle of this storm?"

You stopped walking and clenched your fists as you faced him again. 

"Anywhere but here!" you shouted. "I'm sorry I made you come out all this way. I'll find a cheap motel to stay at or something if I'm really that much of a bother to you right now."

You turned towards no direction in particular and began walking again.

"_____, come back."

You glared at him again.

"So you can just berate me again? Fuck off."

You continued walking.

"You're such a dumbass."

You halted in your footsteps as he blatantly insulted you again.

"Excuse me?"

"I said what I said," he said, frowning at you. "Did you really think I'd come out all this way if I didn't want to?"

You matched his frown.

"Well, it sure sounds like it with how pissed you sound."

"Because you piss me off."

You threw your hands up in frustration.

"Then why the fuck are you still here?!"

Levi let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, I'm pissed beyond belief and I'm still here. Now get the fuck back in the car before you get all soaked and make a mess all over the seat."

You glared at him for a few more seconds before mumbling a "fine" and reluctantly getting back into the car.

He drove in silence for a bit, bewildered at the fact that you almost ran off into the middle of nowhere during a raging storm without your phone. If that wasn't the definition of reckless, then he didn't know what was.

"You didn't have to come out just to pick me up," you mumbled again. "I know I texted you, but that doesn't mean shit."

"Tch, did you not hear me?" he said, slightly shaking his head at your repeated commentary. "I came because I wanted to."

He glanced at you before speaking up again.

"Get over yourself, you didn't force me to do shit."

His grip on the wheel tightened as he looked back towards the road.

"You're not special."

He heard your breath hitch at that last comment and his finger tapped on the wheel gently as he felt a very subtle hint of guilt creeping up in the back of his mind. 

You're not special.

That thought kept running through your mind. You knew that you weren't special. The chaos that was your life was pretty indicative of that. Yet, why did it hurt so much when it was him that said it?

You finally opened your mouth to speak again. Your voice was quiet, as if you had given up on fighting against that comment. You'd accepted it, whether you wanted to or not.

"Then why the fuck are you so pissed off?"

It took Levi a moment to figure out the best way to respond as he continued to glare at the road.

"I'm pissed because you're always putting yourself in these situations without thinking for yourself. You're always going alone to get shit-faced at a party or staying out late enough that you're forced to walk home, or getting into shitty situations with shitty people."

You didn't respond, trying to figure out how to interpret his words.

"I'm pissed because you keep putting yourself in danger."

Ah, you thought as you came to a conclusion over what he was trying to say. He was saying that you were too dumb or naïve to take care of yourself.

Whether that was actually true or not didn't matter to you—that's what was going through your head. No matter what Levi was actually trying to say, you had now settled on the idea that you were nothing more than a nuisance to him and that he felt some weird sense of responsibility for you. Similar to everyone else in your life, you were nothing but a burden to him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice barely audible. 

Levi slightly looked over at you, noting that you were getting caught up in your head from the events of today. He knew that he was at least partially responsible, yet he still never imagined that he'd find himself in this type of situation again. He was used to picking you up from random places at this point. He was fine with that. However, picking you up from your ex-boyfriend's in the middle of what could be interpreted as a violent confrontation was not something that he was expecting to have to deal with.

By the time you got home, you were shivering from standing out in the rain. Levi had given you his jacket to wear and it hung off of your shoulders as you got up out of the car. It had provided you some warmth, but your shivering wasn't going to resolve itself if you didn't change into some dry clothes. 

As you walked from the parking lot into the lobby of your apartment, you saw Levi pass you your phone, having completely forgotten that you tossed it to the backseat of the car after blocking Zack. You mumbled a quiet thanks as you put it into your pocket.

The two of you walked into your apartment and you noticed that literally nothing had been moved since earlier in the afternoon. All the stuff you were unpacking was left in place, despite the fact that the mess was likely driving Levi through the roof. You gripped on his jacket, an uncomfortable bubbling feeling rising up within you. It was just another inconvenience that you unintentionally threw onto him.

He flipped on the light switch, allowing you to properly see the mess that you had made. However, within the next 30 seconds, a crash of lightning lit up the room before all of the lights fell dark.

The power went out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Levi groaned as he tossed his keys onto the table. 

The night couldn't get much worse.

~~~~~

You let out an exhausted sigh as you slid down the wall across the hall from Levi. The two of you gathered next to the balcony doors for what little light peaked in through the blinds. It seemed that the power only went out for your apartment building and the street lights were still functional. There was a small candle lit in between the two of you. 

You had stumbled into your room and changed into a hoodie and a pair of loose pajama shorts. You had your hands tucked into your hoodie pocket as you looked over towards Levi with a blank expression, unsure of how to process the events of the day.

He was sitting with his back leaning against the wall with his legs out in front of him as he matched your expression. The two of you were quiet for a bit, simply listening to the rain. 

The entire room lit up as another flash of lightning cracked through the sky. 

You felt yourself flinch and tense up at the sudden sound. You weren't particularly afraid of storms, but you were significantly on edge due to the events of the day. Every sudden movement or sound made your heart skip a beat. Your mind was on overdrive.

"How was your break?" Levi asked. He had noticed your reactions to the storm. Initiating conversation, no matter how frustrated he was at you currently, would at least provide you with a distraction.

You gave him a weird look before freezing up again due to another lightning crash. You rapidly shook your head to try to shake off the tension.

"It was okay," you finally replied. "Traveling was more annoying than the trip was enjoyable—honestly kinda wish I just stayed here."

Levi grunted at that last comment without acknowledging or dismissing it, which made you frown.

"Which I guess would've ruined your break. I assume you just spent the entire break reading and writing?"

"Something like that," he mumbled. 

In all honesty, he probably would have also preferred it if you had stayed for break.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them, resting your chin on them. No matter how much you tried, you couldn't get the events of the day out of your head.

"Lev', can I ask you something?"

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you really didn't mind coming out, then why were you so pissed off?"

He blinked at you, not really expecting the question to be brought up again.

"I already told you."

"I don't believe you," you said with a frown. There had to be more. What he said and what he did was too contradictory for you to just accept without getting more information.

Levi gave you an annoyed scowl and clenched his jaw. After a moment, he parted his lips to speak again.

"Why did you go back to him?"

"What?" you asked, not expecting him to deflect your question with another question.

Levi looked you straight in the eye. He couldn't wrap his head around why you would've ever been involved with someone like Zack. A few months ago, he wouldn't give a single shit, but now that he's had a few months of knowing you, he legitimately could not understand why.

"Answer the question."

"Answer mine first," you immediately responded.

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Because you're always putting yourself in these shitty situations, _____," he said in an exasperated tone. "First, there was the thing with Floche, and now this. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to pick you up from somewhere and that's not even counting when I had to drive around the fucking city looking for you when you went out."

You fell silent, hugging your knees a bit tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm such a shitshow, Levi," you mumbled. "That shouldn't have to fall on you."

"Tch," Levi's eyebrows scrunched together into a frown. "Didn't I tell you to cut that shit out?"

"Cut what out?"

"Quit pitying yourself," he said as he leaned forward and gently flicked your forehead. "That's not what made me mad."

A pout appeared on your face as you rubbed at your forehead, although you finally began to understand what it was that he was trying to say. He was pissed that you kept finding yourself in these situations, but he never thought it was because you couldn't take care of yourself. You were more than capable of it, which is why he's pissed that you still found yourself in those situations.

"Your turn," he said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"What?"

"I answered your question," he nodded towards you, placing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Now you answer mine. Why did you go back to him?"

You looked down, away from him as you contemplated what it was that you wanted to say in response.

Levi could tell that the topic was another sore spot. You had reacted similarly during Halloween when Hange brought up the topic of your parents.

"He..." you started speaking before trailing off.

"He what?"

You buried your face in your knees, clenching your fists as you pulled up those turbulent memories. You were more emotionally vulnerable than ever.

"He made me feel good about myself when nothing else would," you said, your voice muffled. "My parents had just died, my friendships at school were falling apart because I couldn't keep my shit together, and he just gave me whatever I wanted as long as..."

You trailed off again before lifting yourself back up and looking towards Levi, without really making eye contact.

"...as long as I gave him what he wanted, too. As long as I just shut up and listened to him, as long as I wore the clothes he wanted me to wear and presented myself the way he wanted me to present."

You recalled that Zack didn't even really let you hang out with anyone outside of school when you were dating, which heavily contributed to why you were so confused about navigating everything on your own now. 

Upon noticing Levi's lack of a response, you buried your face in your knees again as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up again from the tears building up.

"You probably think I'm pathetic, don't you?" you mumbled as your voice began to break up. The last thing you wanted to do was to start crying again, but the events of the day only added to any pre-existing thoughts of self-doubt and shame.

"Stupid? Yes," Levi began to speak. "Reckless? Yes. But pathetic?"

He paused as you looked up at him again.

"No, I don't."

You gave him a slight nod as you used the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe away any stray tears that were threatening to fall.

"You don't need that douchebag's approval—or anyone's approval, actually—to be worthy of love and respect, _____."

You felt your cheeks immediately begin to flush up at his statement. You were also able to see out of the corner of your eye that Levi began to awkwardly shuffle in place, as if he just realized what he had said. 

"So quit pitying yourself like that. You're valued more than you think you are."

You pressed your chin into your knees and wrapped your arms around your knees in a way that hid your cheeks that were rapidly heating up. You've felt nothing but guilt and turmoil the entire night, but his comment made something else pop up deep within you. You didn't know how to describe it. You didn't know if it felt good or bad, but there was something there.

Levi watched as you struggled to navigate your own reaction to his comment. He tapped his finger against his leg as he held his hands in his pockets. He'd be lying if he said that there weren't also confusing feelings that were arising within him as well. He remembered pulling up to Zack's apartment and feeling slightly distressed upon seeing you with Zack—maybe even a little jealous, although he would never readily admit to that—before feeling incredibly panicked as soon as he saw Zack grab you. 

He could no longer deny that you were not the shallow undergrad that he thought you were when he first met you in June. You weren't just a student dredging their way through college. Life had thrown misfortunes at you left and right and you were forced to try to navigate through that on your own. There was more to you than you had ever let on.

"Just promise me something," he finally said, waiting for you to look up at him. "Just, try not to get yourself into those situations again."

You looked down again, wondering if his intention was to tell you that he didn't have time to help you anymore when the time came to it. However, he didn't give you much of a chance to dwell on that thought.

"It'd be a shame for me to see something happen to you."

You immediately felt your cheeks flare up again. It was clear that he cared at least to some extent and that itself was enough to get you to question everything around you, including the nature of your relationship with him.

"Storm's over," Levi mumbled as he began to stand up. As he was pushing himself up off the ground, the lights flickered back on.

He held his hand out towards you and helped you get up off the ground.

"Go take a shower and get warm since you decided to casually run off into the rain earlier," he said, motioning towards the bathroom, letting go of your hand. "You were a pain in the ass the last time you got sick."

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @alexkibutsuji

[lovewithoregrets]

Falling Chapter 4: More Business

The bumpy carriage ride was putting Levi in a bad mood. Not only did he have to be inside all day on a lovely summer’s day, but he also had to be cooped up with a bunch or self-important assholes all day. Levi yawned and tried to get comfortable. At least Erwin was there in this hell with him. Though he seemed to be wholly unbothered by their current situation.  

“I get your friends and all, but why did you have to bring him along?” Commander Shadis indicated Levi to Erwin.  

“Hey,” Levi Interjected. “I’m not exactly thrilled about this either, Commander.” 

“I want the council members to see him. He is one of our best, after all.” Erwin gave Levi a jovial grin.  

“Hmph!” grunted Shadis. “Are you trying to scare them into approving our expeditions?” 

“No, but I wouldn’t mind if he unnerved one or two of them.” Erwin replied casually. 

“Well, his is pretty unnerving.” Shadis chucked to himself. “Not sure what you’re playing at here, but you seem to know what you’re doing. Especially after last time.”  

“These men,” Erwin began, "keep trying to screw humanity out of the truth. They need to remember who is keeping them safe.” 

“Fine.” Shadis shrugged. "But if this blows up on you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

“Have I been wrong yet, Commander?” Erwin questioned.  

“No, damn you. You’re somehow always one step ahead of all of us.”  

As they were talking, Erwin felt Levi slump against him. He looked down to find his friend fast asleep.  

“Wait is he really...?” Shadis asked in disbelief. 

“Yes, Sir. Rumor has it, Levi only sleeps a few hours every night.” 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” said Shadis. “I hate to imagine what he could accomplish on a full nights’ rest.” 

“We might be done with our fight against the Titans.” Erwin mused. 

Levi awoke to Erwin shaking him gently out of his slumber.  

“We’re here.” he said simply as he exited the carriage. It was only then that Levi realized in horror that he had fallen asleep against Erwin.  

“Hey was I …?” Levi pointed back at the carriage as they walked inside.  

“Sleeping on me?” Erwin finished for him. “Yes, you were.” 

“Sorry about that.” Levi searched Erwin’s face. 

“I barely noticed.” Erwin tried to sound casual. “In fact, feel free to use me as a pillow anytime” 

“Tsk, pervert.” Levi smiled despite himself. 

The day went by just about as slowly and painfully as Levi had thought they would. He tuned out most of it. It was petty drivel from self-important idiots. He shook hands and kept a civil tongue un his head with the people he was introduced to, but that was the extent of what he could handle. He sat with Erwin while the commander in Chief made his case for another recon mission. Levi looked around the room and wondered how many of these guys knew what their colleague had tried to do. I bet at least one of these bastards knows something, He mused. Erwin suspects so anyway and wants to remind them that he’s smarter than them. Of course, maybe he just wanted an excuse for us to be together? Tsk yeah right.  

Levi did notice that a couple of the members seemed more on edge than others when meeting him and kept looking over at him and Erwin. He made a mental note of it and mentioned it to Erwin after the meeting. Erwin nodded in response and made a point to speak to them before they departed-Levi in tow. Levi had to admit that he enjoyed watching the bastards squirm.  

The whole ordeal seemed to drag on for way too long in Levi’s mind. But in the end, they got what they came for. With both approval and funding secured, the three prepared to head back to Trost. Levi was looking forward to a quiet evening with a good book. However, before they could reach the carriage that would take them home, Erwin paused.  

“Apologies Sir, but I just remembered I had more business to attend to.” Erwin told the commander. Shadis looked surprised but said nothing. The two watched the commander drive off before Erwin beckoned Levi.  

 “Really? More business?” Levi whined.  

“Come on, Levi. I think you’re going to enjoy this bit of business.” There was a mischievous twinkle in Erwin’s eyes. He reached out and grabbed Levi’s wrist and led him through crowded streets and down dark alleyways. Along the way he stopped to buy some food but instead of eating it then, he kept pushing through the hubbub towards his destination.  

“Where the hell are you taking me?” Levi was starting to feel a little concerned.  

“We’re almost there!”  

They were steadily making their way uphill, backtracking to where they came from.  

“Why are we going back? Haven’t you tortured me enough for one day?” Levi groaned.  

“Have a little faith. I wouldn’t do that to you.”  

“Then where the hell are we going?” Levi demanded once more.  

“This way!” Erwin guided him towards the entrance to a tower of some building Levi did not recognize. They immediately began climbing up the steps, gradually winding their way closer and closer to the top.  

“This had better be worth it.” Levi warned his friend.  

“Trust me, it will be.” Erwin came to a door at what appeared to be the top of the stairs. “Are you ready?” 

“Just open the damn door already, asshole.”  

“Is that any way to talk to your commanding officer?” Erwin chided with a chuckle. Levi just glared at him in response. “Fine, fine, you win.” Erwin relented good naturedly and opened the door.  

The first thing Levi noticed was how much fresher the air felt up here. The noise of the city below seemed to almost disappear, and a gust of wind hit Levi in the face. Then he saw the view in front of him. On this beautiful summer day, he could see for miles past wall Sina. Nothing but green grass, distant forests, and rolling hills as far as the eye could see and, in the distance, Wall Rose. 

“Well?” Erwin demanded. 

“Alright, you win. This isn’t half bad.” Levi admitted.  

“Not half bad? That good huh?” Erwin teased.  

“Don’t let it go to your head.” 

They two men stared out in silence for a moment.  

“So how did you find this place anyway?” Levi asked.  

“I used to come up here with my father.” This was the first time Erwin had spoken of his family or his childhood. Levi had never pushed because of his own traumatic past.  

“You grew up here?” Levi sounded surprised.  

“I did.” Erwin didn’t seem to want to elaborate. There was a sadness in his voice that warned Levi to back off.  

“Is the ‘urgent business’ you told Shadis about?” Levi tried to change the subject. Erwin smiled gratefully at him.  

“It is pretty important, don’t you agree?”  

“Oh very.” Levi retorted. “You know what’s also important?” 

“What’s that?” 

“The food we haven’t eaten. I’m starving.” 

The two ate their slap-dash meal as the sun sank lower on the horizon. They chatted about the events of the day and made fun of the various council members. They joked about their team members and mused on the upcoming expedition.  

“What did you say to those idiots anyway? The ones you spoke to privately that is.” Levi inquired.  

“Not much. I asked them how their buddy was doing-the one that hired you.” Levi nodded. “And I may have mentioned that you are our strongest soldier now. Just to remind them how badly their friend failed.” Erwin winked at Levi.  

 Levi chuckled. “I wish I could have seen their faces.” 

“It was pretty priceless.” Erwin admitted, laughing as well. “It was very satisfying, I must admit.” 

“I bet” Levi shook his head. After a moment he turned towards Erwin. “Do you really think I am your strongest soldier or were you just trying to scare those bastards?” 

“Both.” Erwin replied simply. He could see Levi processing the compliment. A flush appeared on Levi’s cheek before he rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, well, finally some recognition around here.” He tried to deflect.  

The world seemed a million miles away up here. This felt like their own little bubble where nothing bad could happen. The worries and stress of the day seemed to melt away as the fresh air and cool evening breeze filled their senses. If only they could stay like this forever. The sun began to sink low in the sky.  

“We should be heading back.” Levi commented. 

“You’re right. It is getting late, and Shadis will be fuming if we’re not back before daybreak.” Erwin said with a rueful sigh. 

“I’m making us tea when we get back.” Levi stated as they made their way down the stairs towards the busy street below. 

“We better hope that the Titans never disrupt our tea supply.” Erwin chuckled.  

“If that happens, they will all die slowly and painfully” Levi growled darkly.  

“Woe to the Titan that comes between Levi and his tea” Erwin let out a hearty laugh. The image of Levi going on a murderous rampage over tea flashed through Erwin’s head.  

Levi shoved Erwin playfully. “It’s not a joking matter” he replied indignantly.  

“Mm not at all.” Erwin continued to laugh. 

“You’re such an asshole.” Levi smiled despite himself.  

“I’ve been called worse.” Erwin replied with a shrug and wink. Their eyes met and for a moment, there was complete silence between them. Levi was sure Erwin could hear his heart pounding a tattoo against his chest. He tried to steady his breathing. Erwin felt flushed and short of breath. Their eyes met and a flash of desire read on their faces. In that moment, both fought against the urge to fall into each other's arms and never let go. They both unconsciously clenched their fists, trying to will themselves to stop. The slightest movement from one of them and it would be all over. They both knew it.   

“If we hurry, we can get back before it’s too late.” Erwin steeled himself with a deep breath. It was almost painful having to fight against himself like this.  

“Yeah, we should probably hurry.” Levi hoped that his voice sounded even.  

They made their way through the city in silence. The spell of the evening was broken and all that was left was their aching hearts, longing for something they knew they shouldn’t. This could only end in heartache and loss and they both knew it. Still, in that moment, they had seen the longing in each other’s eyes and they both knew that they couldn’t hold on before something had to change. They couldn't ignore their feelings much longer. 

Erwin lay restless in bed that night. He couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard he tried. Images of the day flashed through his head of Levi. That smile that only came out around Erwin made his heart leap in his chest. Erwin tossed and turned as if trying to run away from his own mind. This was torture. Before Levi, he had been content to be alone. There was a certain comfort in his solitude. It allowed him to focus on his dream of finding the truth. His head had not so much as turned for another person since Marie, and Erwin was happy for that to be his one great love. He never regretted his decision and knowing that Nile was able to care for Marie gave Erwin joy. He knew he could never have given her what Nile could. Erwin was content to sacrifice his happiness for hers.  

But Levi was different. He knew now that he could never give Levi up. He couldn’t be selfless when it came to this beautiful, amazing man. Their bond exceeded all explanation in Erwin’s mind. It wasn’t logical. But it was the realest feeling that he had felt about another person. At least in a romantic way. It reminded Erwin of his first time outside of the walls. H had felt like he hadn’t known what real freedom felt like until then. His feelings for Marie felt like a schoolboy crush in comparison to what he experienced with Levi.  

Fuck this. Erwin got out of bed and threw on his trousers. He made his way up to the rooftop where he and Levi had first begun to become friends. He had some vague idea that Levi would be there, and he would profess his feelings there and then. But when he arrived, it was completely deserted. Of course, he’s probably asleep. I am the fool who lets this keep me up at night. Erwin chided himself. He sat alone for some time before collecting himself and walking back to his chambers. Sleep eluded him with every passing hour until he finally passed out from pure exhaustion. Even in sleep, his dreams were restless, and Levi was always just out of reach.  

Levi was used to not sleeping. After all, he could never get more than a few hours’ of sleep at a time. But falling asleep had never been a problem before now. In the last couple months, Levi had struggled far more to go to sleep-especially after having spent the evening with Erwin. His mind fixated on every part of their interactions that day as he lay sleepless in the dark, surrounded by his sleeping comrades. Lucky bastards, Levi huffed and turned over. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw brilliant blue ones staring back at him. He heard Erwin’s light chuckle. He heard how Erwin said his name and it sent an electric shock through his body.  

Did he really look at me like that? That split second replayed in his mind. Was that the same want that I feel? It couldn’t be. It never was. Levi had never been in love, not really. He never let anyone get that close. There was one boy he grew up with that he had feelings for. Call it a crush, or love, it didn’t matter. In the end, the boy was found dead, and Levi was left alone. He kept everyone at arms’ length. Maybe not Furlan and Isabel but they were the exceptions. Isabel was like a little sister to him, and Furlan was a true friend. ERwin reminded him of Furlan sometimes, the way he planned and strategized. On the nights when the darkness and loneliness threatened to consume him, he would seek out the company of strangers so he could feel some small, passing relief from the ghosts that haunted him. But those encounters often left him worse off than before. Men full of shame can be cruel and he felt used up and alone afterwards. He would tell himself he wanted it that way, but the truth was that he never believed he deserved any better.  

This was new. What he felt with Erwin was more wholesome and purer. It felt like the first time he’d left the underground and felt the kiss of sunlight on his skin. It was wonderous and terrifying all at once. Erwin had always unsettled Levi. At first it fueled the fires of hatred in his determination to kill the man. Now it felt comforting. It meant that he was accepted and seen. Erwin was the first person to make him feel good enough because Erwin saw Levi for exactly who he was and believed in him. It was a beautiful and overwhelming feeling that Levi had longed for, deep in his heart, but had given up on ever experiencing. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would do anything for that man. He would fight whatever enemy stood in his way for him, he would lay down his own life for him. No matter what, he knew he could trust Erwin and that trust gave him the fire in his belly to do whatever Erwin asked of him. He could put Erwin’s happiness above his own without fear that he would be taken advantage of. Erwin made him feel worthy. 

I can’t take this anymore. Levi got up, grabbed his jacket, and hurried off to Erwin’s room. He didn’t know why he was going there or what he would do when he got there. He just knew that he had to go. He practically ran along the well-trodden path between his barracks and Erwin’s chambers. He had to be with Erwin. It was as if some invisible force was drawing him towards the desire of his heart. He stood in front of Erwin’s door, took a deep breath and knocked.  

There was no response.  

He knocked again. 

Nothing.  

That idiot isn’t still in his office, is he? Levi rushed through the corridors towards the only other place he could think of to look for Erwin. He knocked on the door, but all was silent. There was no light emitting from the cracks of the door frame. Where the fuck are you, you dumbass. Levi was starting to feel frantic. As he walked back towards Erwin’s room, he tried to calm himself down. He’s probably just out cold and can’t hear me. Levi told himself. I should just let him sleep. There’s no reason we both should lose sleep tonight. He took a deep breath. This was a dumb idea anyway. What was I going to do, throw myself in his arms and confess my undying love? How pathetic is that! He paused outside Erwin’s bedroom door. If he had only known what was happening on the other side, he might have tried again.  

Instead, Levi lay in his bunk and watched the moon set and the sun rise, all the while berating himself for his utter stupidity.  

[tragicromanceisland]

Obey Me Dates- The Brothers

Imagining the types of dates the demon brothers take you on.

Some are shorter than the others, but I tried.

Lucifer- would out due his brothers on whatever date they took you on. Expect his date to be the most thrilling you ever had and trust him when he says that. He won't allow them to outshine him. He will be the only one you want to go on another date with. One took you to see an opera? Well, he will take you to a symphony. You went on a joyride and had ice cream? Expect a luxury car ride and luxury doesn't exclude speed. Not only are you having dessert you'll have dinner on the beach under the moon light. Your date ended with a kiss or a steamy make-out? You're staying in his room tonight he will pull out all the stops until you are fully seduced.

Mammon- Anything from card games, casino visits, car rides, parties, and the movies. Mammon will pull out all the stops but expect him to make a fool out of himself in the process of trying to impress you. Oi! Stop laughing! It ain't funny. Now his cheeks are full of color it could be because he just ate the floor or he is actually embarrassed. You knew it was both. Thing is Mammon didn't need to over do it to impress you. You liked him just the way he is and when you told him he was flustered. You were so kind and nice to him. He couldn't help but love you. Can he give ya a goodnight kiss? You kissed him first? D'aw you turned him into a schoolboy crazy about you. Not that he already wasn't whipped by you.

Leviathan- Please say yes, please say yes, Please.Say.YES! He was a bundle of nerves, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his pants. His thumbs sticking out as he couldn't even look in your eyes right now.

"It sounds like fun."

His eyes flit to yours and his eyes dilate.

"Huh?"

You give a coy smile. "I said yes."

His heart was going to burst. Is this real life did you actually accept going on a date with him? Oh he is so happy. Wait...or are you joking? Please don't tell him your joking it would crush him.

"Levi, when is the concert?"

Ok, you do mean it! He can feel tears at the corners of his eyes as he covers his face with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Two days from now! Thank you, thank you ______!!"

Before you say anything he ran off to his room. He didn't mean to leave you hanging like that but he was so happy he couldn't hold back his tears any longer and that would have been embarrassing if you saw.

The day of the date it goes way better than he could have ever imagined. You even took a picture of him with his idols!!! He passed out after that. He came too. He thought he was dreaming but it was real life. It really happened. At the end of the night, you gave him a kiss and his brain malfunctioned. Instead of saying good night he said thank you you too!! He kicked himself for saying it. Why did he say that?? He was going to die from embarrassment. He liked you so much he began telling Henry 2.0 all about his amazing date with you.

Satan - He was determined to expand your knowledge of the arts and knowledge in general. Of course, he wouldn't force it down your throat. Unless....? Nevermind. Now he is embarrassed though you aren't sure why. It starts as a coffee date and evolves into going to a museum and somehow you're at a pet shop across the street from the cafe after your compelling conversation about history and artifacts. You both continue conversation about animals and at the end of the night, you both find yourself at the Devildoms garden. Walking under the night sky you somehow change the subject to the stars. Satan explains of the legends about the stars of the Devildom. At the end of the night, Satan walks you back to your room. It's still in the house of lamentation as you both study the other. Satan had a wonderful time he would love nothing more than to kiss you. You must have been thinking the same as you both leaned into each other and Satan closed the distance. His lips firm against yours before breaking away. His cheeks burning, one kiss was not enough.

Asmodeus- Shopping and Spa dates as well as staying in and snuggling while watching horror movies were Asmo's thing. Of course, be aware every time you stayed in for a date it was inevitably going to lead to make-outs. He couldn't get enough of your soft lips or the taste of your flavored lip gloss. To say he was addicted was an understatement. Asmo would make sure you both were pampered even if you stayed at home. As much as he did those things with you he also invited you to the parties he was always invited too. These parties gave Asmo a bigger reason to dress you to his liking and often he would coordinate your colors to match. You were both often the talk of the party for fashion but also for your already-known reputation for making pacts with all seven demon lords.

Beelzebub - He asked you to come to his games and afterward he would treat you to dinner. Sometimes he invited you to new places he hadn't been and sometimes he would carry you around to various places and just talk and sometimes it was silent time just enjoying the view being beside you.

Beel also used the time he had to walk Cerberus as a way of spending time with you. He would invite you to work out with him, but...that more often than not, he ended with you distracting him and vice verse. Most of the time, it ended in a make-out. He would take you out for the best meals. Sometimes, even a picnic. He would try not to eat the food before he could share it with you. It would definitely end up with you feeding each other food and enjoying each other's company. Beel would love for you to rest your head on his lap as you fed him. He would also sneak in some kisses.

Belphegor - Stargazing to naps. Your dates with the twins happened to be some of the most peaceful. Belphie would take you to all the best spots to view stars. He would pack a picnic for you both. He had to make sure Beel didn't find out you were going on a picnic he would eat all the food. He would bring some demonus with him as well. While having a picnic you would feed him and he would feed you back sometimes he would nip at your fingers and your retalliation would be to lick his when he fed you. Of course, it made him hard, he had to keep himself in check for a little bit. However, you were quick to notice the bulge in his pants, and more often than not he fucked you under the starry night sky of the Devildom. Afterward, he held you close as he began to tell you a tragic tale of two lovers who were destined to be together yet, an envious man found out about the lovers, and because he adored the one he refused to allow the other man to take what should rightfully be his. Out of jealousy and rage, he killed the lovers. If he couldn't have the one no one could. He then explained how the lovers became entwined in the starry night sky to be together for eternity.

[melishade]

Hello

Will Predaking finally get its act together and come to confront the Autobots and Papa Megs. I believe that he and Levi will become best friends through their hatred of Papa Megs

Part 4: Predaking vs the Warriors

Predaking is still mad at Megatron and still wants a piece of him. He also needs answers about what the hell's going on.

Kenshin does swing by once Taisho tells his son what's going on, and when Kenshin appears, Predaking immediately demands answers out of the Prince. He spent the most time with Megatron. What does he know?! Was he aware of Megatron's identity?!

Kenshin explains that he didn't know who Megatron was. Hell, he wasn't aware of how his dad figured out Megatron's name! Megatron was calling himself Matthew! But apparently his father told him that Megatron killed the others like him?! And Predaking says 'yes'! But he doesn't understand why Megatron was acting different! Megatron was willing to let Predaking kill him! And who was this 'Mikasa Ackerman' that Megatron was apparently fond of?!

"Why didn't you just kill Megatron if he's such a threat?!" Kenshin demanded.

"Shut up!" Predaking roared at him.

And Predaking decides 'fuck it'. He's going to go to Paradis and get some damn answers or maul Megatron instead. Kenshin immediately screams 'no' and tries to cling to Predaking's wing, but the Predacon shakes him off. Predaking demands why he shouldn't go, and Kenshin explains that the island is trained to kill titans like him.

Predaking nearly laughs at such a statement, but Kenshin explains that the island specializes in titan killing and titan combat. Their equipment allows them to fly through the air and slice titans with ease. Mikasa killed 16 titans right out of the academy and was even able to go toe to toe with Megatron in combat-!

"What are you talking about?!" Predaking yelled at him.

Kenshin explained that he saw Megatron and Mikasa fight first hand and the girl was able to destroy the human arm. And now Predaking is like What the actual fuck?! Predaking is still going take his chances and go to the island, but Kenshin says he'll be shot out of the sky. Kenshin decides to say that he'll go with Predaking and be his mediator so he doesn't end up dying and Hizuru loses its ace in the hole. Predaking is not thrilled at the idea, because he doesn't want someone riding his back like an animal, but Kenshin is not having it, and immediately goes to the locals and asks them for a rope because the deity wants it. The locals are more than happy to provide, and Kenshin demands Predaking tied the rope around his neck.

Predaking has no reason to follow his orders, but Kenshin retorts by saying he doesn't want to lose a friend and ally by mistake, which throws Predaking offguard.

"Friends?" Predaking asked him.

"Yes! We've been talking for months, and I don't want to see you die," Kenshin declared, "Just...let go of your ego and accept the help. It will go a lot smoother. Please."

Predaking begrudgingly transforms into his beast mode and lets Kenshin tie the rope around Predaking's neck. Kenshin then uses the rope to climb the Predacon and tightens his grip on the rope. Before Kenshin realized his mistake and how stupid and reckless the idea was, Predaking took off towards the sky and towards Paradis, which Kenshin screaming in terror and holding onto the rope for dear life.

Before that, Megatron is forced to explain what happened and who Predaking is, along with the rest of the Autobots presiding there. Some are terrified, since Predaking might have it out for both Autobot and Decepticon, but Hanji is just excited at the thought of a new titan that can fly. Wheeljack and Arcee are saying that they need to make preparations for an eventual attack.

The next morning, with Kiyomi and her entourage there, the Survey Corps do explain about their situation, and Kiyomi is doing her absolute best to hide her horror. They were not supposed to know about Predaking. But suddenly, they all hear the shrill cries of the Predaking and immediately get to their battle stations. The Survey Corps equip their gear, the Autobots and Megatron draw out their weapons as Predaking lands right in front of them. The air is tense and the Autobots are ready to attack. Kiyomi is ready to sell herself out and beg Predaking stop, but Kenshin yells at them to not attack....

From Predaking's back.

Everyone watches slack jawed as Kenshin stumbles down the rope around Predaking's neck. Kenshin can't tighten his grip and lets go, hitting the ground quite hard. Kenshin forces himself to stand up, his hair and clothes a notable mess, and he struggling to regain his balance.

"On behalf of Hizuru, don't shoot Pred-!" Kenshin has to cover his mouth to prevent the bile from escaping.

"Who is he?!" Jean demanded.

"Kenshin?!" Mikasa and Kiyomi yelled at the same time. Mikasa out of shock while Kiyomi was out of anger.

"Hey, auntie," Kenshin waved lethargically.

"Aunt?!" Levi snapped his head to Kiyomi who nearly swore out loud.

"Predaking, what is the-...what is this?" Optimus couldn't help but stumble with his wording.

The Predacon rolled his optics before transforming into his bipedal form. "That one insisted he come with so that you would be less inclined to attack."

"And he is...?" Arcee trailed off.

"The crowned prince of Hizuru," Megatron answered.

Everyone cannot compute, especially the Autobots, and Hanji faints from shock and excitement.

So what happens next:

-Well there is definitely some tension now as the Autobots and military demand what the hell Predaking was doing in Hizuru and why they neglected to tell them about it. Kenshin, still feeling a little sick, explains that the locals think Predaking is a deity, they made an alliance with him, and Predaking asked to not be mentioned by name because he didn't want to deal with Optimus.

"So why did Predaking decide to blow his cover now?" Arcee demanded.

Kenshin merely pointed to Megatron in response.

"Of fucking course," Levi groaned.

-Megatron is keeping his distance from Predaking and any time the two are in proximity, Predaking growls in warning. Levi thinks its funny. Predaking is surprised that Wheeljack is talking to him like nothing happened.

-Kiyomi warns that Taisho is going to kill Kenshin, and Kenshin says he might as well. He feels like shit from all that flying.

-The Survey Corps are hounding Kenshin with questions about the situation. How did Kenshin manage to be friends with Predaking? What was it like riding on Predaking's back? Kenshin does his best to explain the situation, and admits that he had his eyes closed for most of the flight.

-Predaking realizes that the Autobots have full intentions of contacting Cybertron, but he wants nothing to do with that planet. His place is in Hizuru. Which again: what the hell?!

-Predaking is able to identify who Mikasa is, and said Ackerman can't help but feel the predacon watching her like she's prey.

-Once Hanji wakes up, she crawls all over Predaking and Predaking tries to grab her, but she is fast. Levi has to grab her and drag her away.

-Kenshin laments that Predaking has been acting like a child, which isn't far off since Predaking is technically two years old.

"That thing is two?!" Sasha screeched.

"Yes, he is two," Kenshin sighed.

(I'll write more stuff another time.)

[kikis-writing-world]

Kikis-Writing-World Masterlist

Previously 66wookies and no-droids-on-sunday

Hi all! I'm so thrilled you're here checking out my masterlist. I will do my best to keep it up to date and organized. Any suggestions, or if you notice any missing or broken links, please let me know.

For notifications of new fics, drabbles and head canons I post, follow @kikis-writing-library and turn on notifications.

Happy Reading!

💧=Angst 🩸=Blood/Injuries 🐑=Fluff 🔥=Smut 

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Flags and Labels 🐑

The Reason  🐑 Goodbye 💧 (sequel to The Reason, can also be stand alone)

Requested: “You’re not alone anymore.”  🩸🐑

Requested: Soulmate AU where you cannot say your soulmate’s name  🐑

Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)

Books and Their Covers  🐑

Communication Breakdown 💧🐑

Gizmo (Drabble) 🐑

No Life Without You  💧🩸

Somewhere Safe 💧🩸🐑

Frankie Morales (Triple Frontier)

Where The Sky Touches the Sea Series Masterlist (Hiatus)

30 Days  💧🐑

Every Pilot Needs A Wingman  🐑

Insecure  💧🐑

Longer  🐑

Sticky/Tricky Jar  🐑

To Be Wanted  💧🐑

What Ifs  🐑

Whole Enchilada  🐑

Requested: “It’s two sugars right?” and “I’ll pick you up at the airport.”  🐑

Requested: Soulmate AU where you dream of your soulmate in a past life  🐑

Requested: Soulmate AU where you can feel when they’re in grave danger or emotionally distressed   💧🐑

Fake Fic Title: Panicky Expectant Father  🐑

Jack Daniels/Agent Whiskey (Kingsman and The Golden Circle)

Whiskey Straight Series Masterlist (Hiatus)

A Statesman Christmas   💧🐑🔥

Fireflies  💧🐑

Love is Blind  💧🩸🐑

Overwhelmed  🐑

Secrets in the Wind  💧🐑

Showed Up in Boots  💧🐑

Requested:  “Any other lies left to tell me?” and “Are they really ‘just a friend’?”  💧

Requested: “Why are you acting like this?”  💧🩸

Requested: “I hope your day gets better.” and “You know, you can stay if you want to.”  🐑

Requested: Soulmate AU where it is impossible to lie to your soulmate  🐑

Fake Fic Title: Undercover Lover  🐑

Agent Brandy Universe: Featuring Statesman OC “Agent Brandy” First, Time  🐑 Weapons Testing  🐑

Marcus Moreno (We Can Be Heroes)

Early Mornings  🔥

Passing the Test  🐑

Tiktok Dancing  🐑

Requested: Soulmate AU, matching soulmarks  🐑

Requested: Soulmate AU, dream sharing  🔥

Fake Fic Title: Chalk Tasting Hearts  🐑

Marcus Pike (The Mentalist)

Broken Art  💧🐑

Sunflowers and Pink Roses  💧🐑

Requested:  “Let’s just sit in tonight.” and Thigh Riding 🔥

Requested: Soulmate AU where everyone has a “soul animal” that only they and their soulmate can see  🐑

Max Phillips (Bloodsucking Bastards)

XXX-Mas  🔥

Picking up the Pieces - Max Phillips Edition  💧🐑

Who’s The Boss  🔥

HC: Max helping you with a migraine  🐑

Maxwell Lord (Wonder Woman 1984)

Doing Business  🔥

Picking up the Pieces - Max Lord Edition  💧🐑

Working Late 🔥

Fake Fic Title: Conflict of Interest  💧🐑

Requested: “Stay Over”  🐑

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Best Laid Plans  🐑

Bittersweet  💧

Picking up the Pieces - Poe Dameron edition  💧🐑

Think Happy Thoughts  💧🔥

Drabble: Being Poe’s Hairdresser  🐑

Requested:  “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”  🐑

Requested:  “ Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”  💧

Requested: “I’m right here.”  🐑

Requested: “You’re hurt. Please just let it heal.”  💧

Requested: Soulmate AU where you cannot feel lust or sexual desire until you meet your soulmate.  🐑

Misc. Characters

Blue Jones (Sucker Punch)

My Eyes Only  🐑🔥

Jonathan Levy (Scenes From a Marriage)

Attraction and Other Subjectivities  🔥

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Bug in the System  💧🐑

Oberyn Martell (Game of Thrones)

Requested: “Go back to sleep.”  🐑

Santiago Garcia (Triple Frontier)

Requested: “I was just thinking about you.” and  “I want you to have this.”  🐑

Pedro Boys Collections

Pregnancy Announcement HCs  💧🐑

Other Links of Interest

300 Followers Celebration - custom AUs created for followers who wrote in

[meatmechapilot]

Psychic Matchmaker

Summary: Levi chaperones his cousin and her friends to a circus and meets a psychic who specializes in matchmaking. (Omegaverse)

Levi can't believe he got roped into "babysitting" his cousin, Mikasa, and her friends again.  They, all five of them, are at the circus today.  The circus!  How is there a circus in this day and age?  But it is exactly this type of novelty that had Mikasa and her friends intrigued and want to see it for themselves.

Thus, Levi, a 25-year-old alpha who would rather do literally anything else, found himself being the designated driver and babysitter.  Technically his cousin and her friends are all 18, as this is the summer after their high school graduation and before college.  However, none of them have their own cars, so there needs to be a chaperone.  Why couldn't Zeke drive them?  He was Eren's brother after all.  

Speaking of Eren, the omega was the reason why Levi didn't want to be the chaperone.  Since Eren presented as an omega at age 15, Levi has been feeling all sort of things for him.  Somewhere along the way, Levi stopped seeing Eren as Mikasa's friend, and as an omega, someone he could potentially take as a romantic partner.  He never acted on it since Eren was underage, and when Eren finally turned 18, he thought that he'd lost his chance as Eren is often surrounded by many alphas attempting to court him.

Eren was thrilled to be seeing a real-life circus, just like in the movies.  Another reason Eren was so happy was because Mikasa's cousin, Levi, was driving them to see it.  He's had a crush on the alpha since middle school, and the crush got worse when he presented as an omega in high school.  He thought that being an omega would increase his chances of attracting the alpha, but seeing how Levi never did treat him differently, he thought Levi must want an omega of his own age and maturity level.

But today wasn't about pining over one-sided crushes, it was about experiencing new things and having fun.  The group weaved in and out of the various attractions before spying a tent with a sign that said: Psychic Readings.

Half the group wanted to go inside to check out the psychic while the other half scoffed at it and wanted to check out the rides instead.  It came down to a vote and Eren and Mikasa wanted to go to the psychic while Jean and Armin wanted to go on a ride.  The tie breaker was Levi, and he chose the psychic without hesitation.

The group went inside the tent and saw a table with a crystal ball on it, as well as a solitary figure sitting on a chair beside it.  There was a curtain separating the side of the tent with the table from the side without.  The figure looked up, and it was a young woman, a beta by the looks of her, wearing a robe decked out with many jewels in her hair, neck, wrists and hand.  She held out a bejeweled hand and beckoned the group closer, to sit at the table facing her.  

When the group came closer, she then said, "I can do psychic for two people at the same time, who's first?"

Mikasa immediately volunteered, and it turned out that Jean was the second hand to go up.  The psychic had them sit at the table and drawn the curtain.  Ten minutes later, she beckoned the second group inside.  It turned out to be Eren and Armin.  Eren looked slightly disappointed but went inside without any complaints.  Ten minutes later, they came out, and it was Levi's turn.

"I don't think I need a psychic reading," Levi started, but the woman interrupted him by offering to do his reading for free, something about a group discount.  Unable to resist a good deal, Levi went inside.

Levi hadn't sat down on the chair for a second before the psychic immediately went to work.  "Oh ho, another pining heart, very interesting," she declared.

Damn, she's right on the money, but wait, what do does she mean another?  As if reading his mind, the psychic continued, "your love is not as unrequited as it seems."  Levi never believes in these sorts of things, but the psychic didn't even ask him anything before making her declarations, so how would she know?  Was he that obvious?

"Oh, a skeptic," the woman continued, "I get this all the time, but you should be more open minded.  If you don't believe me, you should go into the ride 'Tunnel of Love' with your crush."  She handed Levi a map of the circus indicating the locations of the rides, "that will be $100 please."

"Wait, I thought this was free!" Levi said indignantly.

"It's free for you, but the group you came in with hasn't paid yet."  Levi internally facepalmed, of course, he's the only proper adult so he gets stuck with the bill.  Levi grumbled while handing over the money, then left the tent to see the group waiting for him.  

"Did that psychic tell you to go on the rides?" Mikasa asked him in lieu of a greeting, he nodded.

"See, I told you she's a fake," Armin said, "she's obviously there to funnel customers to rides and other attractions."

"Okay, okay, you made your point," Eren said, "but didn't we want to go on rides in the first place?"

"How about the Tunnel of Love," Levi said before he could help himself.  Everyone looked at him surprised, since Levi was grumbling about being here in the first place.

"Well," Eren said, "the psychic did recommend it to me and Armin."  This caused Armin to mutter under his breathe to Eren, but Levi was sure he said, "nope, it's just you."

Since the Tunnel of Love ride is the closest to the Psychic's Tent, they decided to go there first.  Armin took one look at the ride and refused to get on, it looks too old and creaky.  Levi ended up in the boat with Eren, while Mikasa and Jean shared another boat.  Levi tried not to think about the psychic's words.

The ride was just your standard amusement park ride, nothing to write home about, but being in close proximity with his crush had Eren's stomach squirming pleasantly.  Especially since the carts are kind of small and Eren was practically sitting on the alpha's lap.

Levi was getting kind of hot under the collar, trying not to put his hands on the omega's body.  The boat really is too small for two adults, and Eren's omega's scent is driving him crazy.  He's really hoping that the ride would be over before his brain starts going in a truly inappropriate direction.

No such luck, with a horrible sound, the ride came to a screeching halt.  "What they hell?"

"Oh no, Armin was right, this ride looked suspicious, we shouldn't have come on!"  Eren was starting to panic, he hated staying in dark and cramped placed for too long.  Levi started rubbing his back soothingly.  Eren leaned into the alpha's touch and soon calmed down.

"Look," Levi pointed down the tunnel to the opening, "the tunnel is not that long, if we have to climb out and walk, we can.  The worst is that we get our shoes and pants wet."  Eren nodded, his panic completely gone.  Levi continued to talk, "we should wait a bit before getting out, just in case the ride starts again, we don't want to get hit by the boats."

They sat in the dark awkwardly until Eren decided to break the silence.  "This is probably a stupid thing to say right now, but I came on this ride because of the psychic."  Eren confessed, "she said something about my unrequited love was really unrequited.  I was hoping it would be true."  Eren finished quietly.

Crap, he's not saying anything, he thinks I'm stupid.  Eren thought when Levi didn't make a sound and was nervously looking down at his hands.  He felt strong hands grip his shoulder and nudging him to look up.  Levi was looking into his eyes with an unreadable expression in his face.

"The psychic said the same thing to me," Levi told Eren, "I guess she wasn't a fraud after all."  With that, Levi kissed Eren on the lips.  Eren nearly forgot to breathe, but he rallied himself and opened his mouth to invite the alpha's tongue in.  They started making out in the dark; the fact that they are stuck on a broken-down ride completely forgotten.

"I've wanted to do this for years," Levi growled between kisses, making Eren whimper, Levi's hands found themself under Eren's shirt, teasing his nipples while Eren's trying to give the alpha a hand job.  "You should have been in my bed ages ago."

"Yes!" Eren answered breathlessly, "I've dreamed of taking your knot ever since I presented as an omega."  This caused Levi to tighten his hold around Eren possessively.  

Suddenly, another horrid noise sounded, and the ride started up again.  The couple reluctantly separated, but at least they both have clarification about the future now.  "We'll continue this tonight." Levi whispered in Eren's ear, earning a shiver from the omega.  They scrambled out of the ride, adjusted their clothes, and hurried to meet their group.

Later that night, when they are locked together on Levi's knot, Levi thought that thank God he chose to see the psychic.

[marjaystuff]

Interview with Brian Andrews and Jeff Wilson

The “Tier One” series plots written by Brian Andrews and Jeff Wilson will remind readers of the late Vince Flynn. They are better than the books written after various authors took over the writing when Vince Flynn died.  Thriller fans get an explosive thrill ride that starts with page one of book one and doesn’t let up for the duration.  But readers will get much more, including relevant geo-political issues that make it appear these authors have a crystal ball. Below is an interview with Brian Andrews and Jeff Wilson about their first seven books. They use their vast experience to write engrossing thrillers with enemies from Iran to Russia to China. Andrews worked as a nuclear engineer on naval submarines, while Wilson was a trauma surgeon embedded with the East Coast Navy SEALS. Book eight, Ember, will appear in a separate Q & A.

Elise Cooper:  What would you say is the style of this series?

Brian Andrews & Jeff Wilson: There are three book arcs where each book has its own bad guy, but the main bad guy gets their due in the third book. Because the antagonist narrative is extended over the course of the trilogy, readers get to know them. In reality this series everything has shades of grey concerning policy, morality, Special Operations, and how the characters emotionally handle their actions. 

EC: How would you describe each of the following characters over the course of all the books in the series?

BA & JW: EMBER, the organization, is autonomous with analysts, field operatives, surveillance, and collecting intelligence.  They are deep cover with speed, stealth, and efficiency. 

John DEMPSEY: A former SEAL, believes in serving his country, and is adaptable. He is a mission before self-type of guy who puts his country first.  He can be quite emotional, which defines his humanity. He is always questioning if he is doing the right thing for the right reason instead of just following orders. He is the Operations Director.

Kelso JARVIS: He heads the Ember team. He is the most complicated character. He has always been a chameleon to get the job done. He is a little bit Machiavellian where the ends justify the means. He is driven by a recognition of his own mortality because of his disease and being married to Petra. Sometimes overconfident, observant, clever, and a man of action. At times he expected members of the team to betray their peers and teammates. He is willing to make judgements about what his team can or cannot handle. He makes decisions for the team. He withholds because it is in the best interest of their operational effectiveness, the end goal. He has evolved the most of all the characters, because he is more introspective and empathetic.

PETRA FELSK: She is Jarvis’s right-hand person, a former intelligence expert.  Someone he can confide in and trust completely. She can read Jarvis’ mind and complements him. She admires his qualities. She is not afraid to challenge him and call him out.

Elizabeth GRIMES: Sniper operator. In the beginning she had trust issues and feels isolated.  Lizzie is perceptive, loyal, questioning, connects the dots, needs to be in control, and sarcastic. She is our devil’s advocate character, someone not afraid to argue the other side, an outside the box thinker. She now sees Dempsey as brother-like and he sees her as sister-like. But she sometimes becomes the big sister to him. 

Dan MUNN: He is the SEAL medic who now works for Ember but is also an operator.  Dan was a teammate of Dempsey when a SEAL.  He is his good friend and knows how to push his buttons.  

Levi HAREL:  The Mossad chief.  He is perceptive, wise, and a true ally of the US. He looks beyond politics, a pragmatist and a tactician. He is a mentor to Jarvis.

Richard WANG:  He is the team’s cyber guy in the field. Insecure, egotistical, and a genius. He wants the team’s respect, defaulting to humor and self-deprecation.

Ian BALDWIN:  He is the head of Ember’s signals division: electronic, communications, and intelligence. He handles the different ways data is intercepted, collected, and interpreted. He is an enigma.  He is like the AI of the team. Ian is the eccentric uncle no one knows how to talk to.  

BAD GUYS:  They match Dempsey in skill, tactical, and survival.  They are formidable foes. 

EC:  In the first book, TIER ONE, Navy SEAL Jack Kemper had to give up everything including his family to take on the persona of John Dempsey, working for a covert organization that operates without any bureaucratic red tape and operates in the shadows. Did the Tier One book set up the premise for the rest of the books in the series?

BA & JW: Back in 2015 when we started to write this series, we realized that America’s enemies were being constantly defeated by the Navy SEALS because they are so good at what they do. We thought about the ‘what if’ the enemies tried to neuter the Special Operations arm of the US military service, wiping out the entire Tier One Navy SEALs. We fictionalized it by making Tier One smaller than in real life and had all the squads on the same mission to get the high-value terrorist targets, which we did in the first book. For us, the premise was quite intriguing as the enemy upped their game in covert actions.

EC: It seems you always have a relevant piece to your plot.  Were you influenced by what happened in Afghanistan when a military helicopter was shot down, killing 31 U.S. special operation troops, most of them from the elite Navy SEALs unit that killed al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden?

BA & JW: This is a perfect example of what we tried to show in this first book.  The Taliban knew how the SEALs moved. In the first book, Tier One, we tried to show how the enemy is gaining in sophistication and should not be underestimated. 

EC: In book two, WAR SHADOWS, there is a very relevant quote, “Making decisions requires courage.  Without courage leadership cannot exist. Without leadership the bad guys win every time.” Please explain.

BA & JW: This is a theme throughout all our series.  Leadership matters. Look at the leadership in this country and there are serious problems.  I was taught people need to lead by example, having integrity and accountability. They should own mistakes and tell how they will fix it. Instead, they gaslight. We are trying to imagine a world of military leaders and politicians that we want to see in real life, making decisions based on principles. They should not be self-serving and go along with the political winds. Dempsey and Jarvis stand up for what they think is morally right. 

EC: In book three, CRUSADER ONE, there is a terrorist attack where Israel is caught off guard and people question the readiness, security, and how to protect.  Even though this was written way before October 7th, it exemplifies it. Please explain.

BA & JW: We employed Iran, Iron Dome, and multiple groups attacking at the same time. Hamas and Hezbollah were amassing weapons and digging tunnels, so we put it in the story.

EC:  Elinor Jordan is introduced.  Can you describe her?

BA & JW: She is like a female Dempsey and are kindred spirits.  They have feelings for each other, sometimes trusting each other and sometimes they don’t. She has a schizophrenic existence, sensitive, caring, courageous, conflicted, and wants to make the world a better place. We wrote her as a Persian Jew working for Mossad.  Yet, in the research we found that this community of Persian Jews are not considered by the Iranians as mortal enemies. 

EC: The focus of book four, AMERICAN OPERATOR, has Dempsey rescuing an American hostage being held by the Jihadists terrorists. Please explain.

BA & JW: Dempsey rescues US State Department aid Amanda Allen and is willing to do anything to get her out because he has so much guilt over leaving Elinor behind. We wanted to represent the hostage mindset with Amanda: fearful, tough, capable, courageous, observer, and wondering if she should fight.  She tried to figure out how she was going to survive but not betray her countrymen. She was tortured and was in a no-win situation trying to maintain her dignity, wits, and hope. 

EC: In book five, RED SPECTER, did you focus on the Russian covert organization, Zeta?

BA & JW: It is the Russian version of Ember. Arkady is the Russian Jarvis who is brilliant, cunning, devious, a spymaster, strategic, powerful, and likes to play the long game. Both Arkday and Jarvis are willing to sacrifice their people for what they perceive of the greater good.  Jarvis sacrificed Grimes emotionally and had Dempsey go on what was perceived as a suicide mission. This book is a reckoning of the escalation. 

EC:  Book six, COLLATERAL, has the rubber meeting the road.  Do you agree?

BA & JW: We intended to end the Russian arc with this book but did not because there is a lot more story to tell. We had the US President designate Ember to go after every Zeta operative and eliminate them. We wanted to write it as the new Cold War including Russia infiltrating the Ukraine.

EC:  Is book seven, DEMPSEY, a vengeance book?

BA & JW: The mission is more complicated than that.  The book has a Russian contracting an American to kill his own leader. Enemies make strange bed fellows, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend until dead.  We wanted Dempsey to deep dive into understanding his Russian enemy by living among them. This will change his entire approach to how he sees the world. Truth is relative and strength is what is important. The Russian President, Petrov, is a war criminal, murderer, psychopath, malicious, and paranoid, the ultimate dictator based on Putin.

EC:  Why the two Russian words for truth istina versus pravda? 

BA & JW: One means relative truth and one absolute truth.  Americans believed there is one truth, and it is verifiable. In Russia the absolute truth is like mathematics and is provable.  Now in America truth is what someone believes, which is relative truth. The question we want readers to ponder, is foreign assassination acceptable if that leader does really bad things, like Hitler? The question we pose is assassination of a foreign leader sometimes necessary for our own well-being, security, safety, and the existential threat? We are not suggesting that assassination is OK but just posing the questions.

EC: Readers that want adrenaline-fueled thrillers with a lot of action, deception and vengeance should read these books, preferably in order.

For book eight, EMBER, the one coming out this month, see the new Q & A.

THANK YOU!!

[hectormcfilm]

ATTACK ON TITAN COMPLETE REVIEW

Attack on Titan, one of the most iconic and legendary anime of all time has just ended and in honour of this I want to give a complete all seasons review on this blog. Attack on titan was the second anime I ever watched after Death note during the first lockdown. I caught up right as season 3 ended and was able to experience the pure excitement and hype that was the buildup to season 4, the first trailer for season 4 is still one of my favourite trailers of all time, displaying all our beloved characters as matured and serious and showing the insane war about to begin without giving too much away. For a time this was one of my favourite anime and maybe in my top Tv shows of all time but I will admit my passion and love for the show dwindled towards the end, especially in the final arc and I will explore this later. This is going to be by far my longest blog post so be prepared.

SEASON 1

Season 1 came out just over a decade ago now and despite only being 8 years olds during the time this released I am very aware of the absolute hype it created, breaking into the mainstream form early on and being constantly compared to Game of Thrones for its violence and shocking character deaths. I don’t know if this comparison is especially accurate since early seasons of Game of Thrones were slow and methodical, building up the characters and their dynamics before turning to action in later seasons whilst attack on titan’s first season can best be described as a non-stop roller coaster of action, gore and thrills. I am mixed on season 1 overall but can say its opening arc is incredibly strong. The first episode perfectly sets up the danger and terror of the Titans and introduces how cruel and dystopian the world is, watching Eren’s mum being brutally eaten alive. The worldbuilding is very strong in the opening act, illustrating to the audience the medieval life within the walls, the power of the titans and ideas the like scout regime. The series keeps up a great pace for the first 10 episodes or so, having the characters train up and become scouts then being thrown into their first real mission only for most of them, including seemingly the main character to be relentlessly slaughtered, the moment is shocking and emotional, watching the characters breakdown in fear at their unstoppable enemies. Then the story has the main character return as a Titan, adding a new layer of combat and worldbuilding, creating mystery as to how that won’t be explained till seasons later.

Some of the later arcs of season 1 however do slow down a lot and focus too heavily on the same shock factor of lots of new side characters being slaughtered in an inhumane fashion and having the main character lose, this is most evident with the female titans rampage against Levi squad. The pacing takes a hit in this section as there are long stretches riding horses or cleaning and living with disposable characters only written to die.

The standout characters of season 1 for me are the two Ackerman’s, Levi and Mikasa. Mikasa takes the lead role for a section of season 1 and establishes herself as a capable and badass whilst not being overpowered and still struggling, the message she takes from Eren on not giving up and always keeping fighting is awesome. Levi is simply cool exemplified, his stoic demeanour combined with his absolute insane ODM gear skill makes him an unstoppable monster. The other side characters are all quite weak admittedly, not being developed at all or having much of a personality besides basic traits like Sasha being hungry. Eren also starts as quite a weak lead, being a stereotypical edgy anime protagonist who screams the same phrases all the time. One final complaint I have is the twist of the female titan as Annie was the only viable character it could be, it felt like a very obvious and blatant twist.

The strongest parts of season 1 are the animation and the cinematography, the scale of the show is excellent, making the titans and especially the colossal feel terrifying and unbeatable. The framing of ODM gear scenes is genius, it is easy to follow and clear whilst being fast and chaotic. Overall ODM gear was a genius invention by Isayama, such a unique form of travel and combat.

SEASON 2

Between season 1 and 2 there was a 4 year wait which meant people’s expectations were very high and at the time many were disappointed with this season, it being very slow paced, only 12 episodes and no including certain characters like Levi, him only having a handful of lines. HOWEVER, I personally prefer this season to season 1. This season does have a slower pace but it feels necessary and useful as the characters it actually develops aren’t disposable they are important and likeable, the anime takes time to build up dynamics and romances.

There are lots of examples of this great development in the first half of season 2. Sasha gets her own solo episode where she is shown to be so much more then just comic relief, she becomes more heroic and brave, taking on a titan alone with just a bow an arrow, becoming a truly inspiring character. You also get a glimpse into her past and family which will get even further development later. Ymir and Historia get the most obvious development both being literal background characters with a couple lines in the training arc of season one are given their own romance sub plot that feels believable and subtle. They are both hiding a huge secret from the world, Historia hiding her real name and Ymir hiding the fact she is a Titan shifter just like Eren and Annie, they relate to each other, both being outsiders and both hiding their true selves. They open up and help each other as their romance blossoms, finally their dynamic is so successful due to their contrasting personalities, Historia being so kind-hearted and fun whilst Ymir is more aggressive and serious. The final characters that get lots of development in this season are Reiner and Bertolt.

Reiner and Bertolt are both likeable and dependable in seasons one, acting as actual friends to Eren when he is disliked in the training camp, they are joint with Ymir and Historia at the start of Season 2 on the same mission and their dynamic as a group grows as they are trapped in a fortress surrounded by Titans. You get a deeper insight into their desire to travel home and you get to see Reiner’s fear for being weak and useless despite seeming so physically strong.

Then you reach season 2 episode 6… one of the single greatest plot twists in media, on the level for me as the twist in Oldboy or Gone Girl. The reveal that Reiner and Bertolt are the armoured and colossal Titan is truly brilliant. Firstly, it is foreshadowed very well, for a start both characters have a subtle resemblance to their Titan, Reiner survived his interaction with the female titan despite everyone else being murdered, they are said to be from a different land then the others and in the episode before the reveal when the group is in danger Bertolt goes to BITE HIS HAND to transform, such a small but genius detail. The framing of this twist also makes it so much more memorable having the audience follow Hange’s conversation theorising how Titans climb the wall only to have Reiner admit he is the armoured Titan in an off screen line underneath her dialogue. This almost non-challant reveal completely disorientates the audience and makes them question themselves. The tension after Reiner admits his identity is palpable as Eren feigns being surprised as Isayama reveals all the characters around have already worked it out and are ready to strike. Reiner’s character is given so much depth in this scene as he admits how weak and foolish he is, how he forgot his mission somewhere along the way and genuinely began to love the scouts he was with and form real friendships, knowing he would have to betray and kill them, his reluctance and regret makes him such an engaging character. Then we reach the transformation as Mikasa attacks, slashing both their necks, not quite killing them allowing them to transform, Bertolt’s fear and reluctance to transform combined with Reiner’s now full conviction and commitment to betrayal is MASTERFUL, having a lightning swirl around them, even having a neat bit of animation where the screen flashes and their titan faces cover their own. The rest of this scene is just beautiful as the music YouSeeBigGirl sweels to a cinematic and dramatic crescendo, gorgeous German singing combined with a heavy orchestral song creates an unforgettable scene. This single scene alone puts this season above season 1.

There are two more moments that stand out this season, one being Eren’s speech about being useless and powerless, reflecting on how nothing has changed since his mother died, the voice acting is immaculate and emotional in this scene. Eren definitely improves in this season, his rage and pain towards who he thought were his friends is great, having no sympathy for them. The other character that becomes a standout in this season is ERWIN, leading the charge to save Eren from being kidnapped but having a Titan charge him, bite his arm and tear him off his horse only for him to only command “ADVANCE” to his troops, completely accepting the chance of his own death to save Eren, so cinematic and epic.

Admittedly season 2 doesn’t have the same ODM gear action or hype as season 1 but still having some very well-choreographed Titan vs Titan fights that focus more on grappling. My only problems with this season is the lack of some characters like Levi, important characters being completely sidelined, also this season relies on the next ones as it creates so many questions and mystery boxes meaning it can’t stand on its own as it feels incomplete and the ending is quite abrupt.

SEASON 3 PART 1

If season one could be described as humans vs Titans and season 2 as Titans vs Titans then season 3 part 1 is Humans vs Humans. This section of the story focuses mostly on the political worldbuilding within the world and explores the royal family and the power systems within the wall. The most interesting part of this arc is the moral implications, watching these young scouts matured be faced with a situation where instead of killing monstrous titans they have to kill other humans to survive is very engaging and a new spin for the show. This creates some great character moments like Jean being unable to kill another human whilst Levi is ruthless due to his childhood in the underground, used to the cycle of death.

The animation of ODM gear fight scenes definitely reaches its peak in this arc, most notably with both confrontations between Levi and Keeny squad. The action is so well-choreographed and framed keeping everything clear, the animation manages to stay detailed whilst being fluid and fast which is a credit to the impressive team at WIT. These sequences don’t even use darkening or shadowing to hide the animation as the quality is so good.

I am very mixed on the antagonists of this section of the story. On one hand I really enjoy Kenny but think his introduction is very underdeveloped having him never be mentioned before but suddenly appearing th first time Levi ever utters his name, it feels very forced and contrived. HOWEVER, he is a very interesting character, being morally grey and just working for the money rather then a personal stake which is unique for attack on titan. He also has one of the coolest ideologies of the show, the idea that everyone is a slave to something,  very similar to Askeladd from Vinland Saga. The other antagonist is Rod Reiss, Historia’s father who doesn’t really work for me as a villain he is basically just insane, stuck in the old traditional ways and then turns into a giant titan that can’t even stand in the end, crawling to the wall. In theory this is a unique idea but doesn’t really provide for an interesting action scene or character. Overall this part peaks with Erwin’s trial and the moral implications created, allowing for new scenarios but still ending with Eren being kidnapped again and a slightly disappointing villain but some great final developments for Historia, giving her the closure of delivering the final blow.

SEASON 3 PART 2

I cannot understate my pure love for this arc. The Return to Shiganshina is easily the best arc in this anime and is one of the greatest arcs in Animanga history, up there with the Chimera Ant Arc, L vs Light and Eniess Lobby. It is the accumulation of the first three seasons, creating a perfect climax. Return to Shiganshina is split into two key parts, the climatic battle and the reveal of what is in the basement.

The battle is perfectly built up and cinematic, starting with the heroes plugging up the final hole in the outer wall, blocking out all the Titans on the other side, then tracking down Reiner and Bertolt who both transform as outside the wall the Beast Titan appears with a squadron of Titans around him, the arc splits into two distinct battles of Levi and Erwin vs the Beast Titan outside and the Main scout group vs Reiner and Bertolt.

The battle against Reiner and Bertolt is intense and thrilling, having a close fight between Eren and Reiner combined with the scouts new invention of Thunder Spears to take Reiner down whilst they try to stop the immovable Colossal Titan, having Armin and Eren trick Bertolt into exerting too much steam, killing Armin but allowing Eren to cover up the wall and sneak behind him to chop his nape. This section is an intense fight with lots of twists like Hange’s return with a missing eye and Reiner’s refusal to give up after being beaten over and over but the main focus of this arc is on Levi and Erwin.

Erwin’s final moments solidify him as my 2nd favourite character in the entire show, I will get onto my favourite character a bit later during season 4. Erwin and the scouts trapped outside the wall are faced with an unstoppable force, they are faced with inevitable death, there are dozens of Titans surrounding them including the Beast Titan throwing boulders and they have no gas for their ODM gear left. When faced with nothing but death and pain Erwin doesn’t stand down, he admits to his troops they will die but they can go out fighting for what’s right and they can die to save the world whilst distracting the Beast Titan, allowing Levi to sneak up on him and assassinate him. Erwin’s inspirational and courageous speech will always stay with me, his heroism and determination when faced with nothing but inevitable death is beyond inspiring. The final charge as everyone screams and shoots their flairs is beautifully tragic, having Erwin cry out his final lines, “My soldiers rage! My soldiers scream! My soldiers fight!” before being barraged with flying rocks, slaughtering them all. This sequence is just masterful in every aspect, the animation, the MUSIC, the framing, having Levi swing over the whole battlefield giving an almost ariel view of their charge, the storytelling and deaths it’s unbelievable and possibly my favourite scene in the whole show.

The show doesn’t slow down after Erwin’s death however, leading straight into Levi vs the Beats Titan. One of the most satisfying and hype battles in anime history, having Levi unleash his full rage and skill, completely destroying the Best Titan, taking out each part of his body one by one until he tears Zeke out of the nape. This is a moment that gives me goosebumps and still makes me tense with excitement each time I see it. Then in the same episode as this we see Armin’s courageous self-sacrifice and as all the antagonists are defeated we are left with an impossible choice, saving Armin or Erwin’s life as one can become the colossal titan which would bring them back. After half a dozen episodes of unadulterated insane action and hype moments this decision slows the anime down and allows the characters to shine again, all of them displaying their love for each other and posing the audience with a very difficult question of saving Erwin and his skills of propaganda and inspiration combined with battle IQ or saving Armin’s intelligence and tactics. ALL of this I have described is within the space of 3 episodes, what an exceptional series of episodes.

After this action packed emotional rollercoaster the story switches to the lore and backstory of the world, revealing there is life outside the walls and all Titans are actually just humans banished to this land. There is so much information revealed about characters identities and true motives and the audience isn’t given a chance to breath, reflecting how Eren is given all this information in a single moment, completely overwhelming him. This almost perfect season ends with the potential of a new country, a whole new world to explore, one that is more in line with the industrial revolution, something more contemporary and terrifying.

SEASON 4 PART 1

I am splitting season 4 into 2 parts, the Marley arc then the war for Paradis and the ending together so season 4 doesn’t end up having 4 different sub sections, I don’t want a subheading of Final season part 1 chapter 4. The first three seasons I believe have a clear progression, starting a simple action anime of humans fighting Titans then turning to Titans fighting Titans as the idea of Titan shifters and there being different factions is developed, then it focuses on humans vs humans building up the politics and governmental systems within the walls all th while developing the characters further and having them mature. Finally season 3 part 2 acts as an amalgamation of all of this, having all the leads fight against the threats from the very first episode and win as well as having seemingly most of the questions of the world answer… So where could the show go from here?

So Isayama decides to switch the perspective for a while, we spend time in Marley meeting the characters who live there, following Falco and Gabi, two children training to be soldiers and to become the successor of the armoured Titan. The worldbuilding for Marley is incredible seeing the blimps flying over and even the invention of automobiles. Gabi is a headstrong young child wanting to fight all the people on Paradis island, kill the so called Eldian devils, a perfect parallel of early seasons Eren. We see through the worldbuilding how Zeke and Reiner, two evil villains in the eyes of the main characters be treated as beloved war heroes in Marley, Isayama gives us a sense of perspective and greatly portrays how this story isn’t as black and white as we thought back in season 1.

Before continuing I want to discuss my favourite character… Reiner. At the start of season 4 we see Reiners struggle with depression and guilt, so many people he has known have died and he firmly believes he doesn’t deserve to still be allowed especially since he was never meant to be the armoured Titan to begin with. He is riddled with PTSD and tries to commit suicide due to his guilt and his inferiority complex. Reiner is such a tragic character who was forced to be a child soldier, to cause the deaths of so many and then to integrate himself into the scouts knowing he would have to betray them eventually. Reiner’s guilt comes to a crescendo in season 4 episode 5 where after the first 5 episodes of only being with new Marley characters, getting to know people like Pieke and Galliard, developing their dynamics and personalities Falco tells Reiner an old friend is waiting for him and Reiner is faced with Eren. This episode is perfectly suspenseful as we see a seemingly battered Eren with only one leg and eye question Reiner about why he did everything, ending with Reiner crying and begging at Eren’s feet for forgiveness due to his overbearing guilt and shame. Eren seems very composed and mellow compared to how he usually acts, so headstrong and aggressive. Whilst they talk above them is a huge political speech being delivered by Willy Tybur, where he berates the devils of Paradis and describes the evil they committed, his speech builds up in parallel with Reiner and Eeren’s discussion. In the end Eren forgives Reiner for everything, standing up to shake his hand, stating “I keep moving forward,” a calm and relieving ending until lighting appears around Eren and his eye glows and he states, “Until I destroy my enemies,” transforming immediately, smashing upwards through the stage in unison with the end of Tyburn’s speech where is roars out a declaration of war, creating a mesmerizingly cinematic moment that shows Eren’s new mercilessness as he instantly crushes Tyburn and eats him.

The next few episodes depict Eren rampaging through Marley, defeating the Warhammer, Jaw, Armoured and Beast Titans attacking him, tearing through them all whilst the scout regiment arrive and similarly slaughter the army of Marley. We see as Eren and his friends murder innocents and kill indiscriminately, causing fear and chaos, perfectly reflecting the fall of Shiganshina, exemplifying how this story is all about perspective and there are no goods or evils. The rest of the season focuses on Eren’s change and new mission of causing the rumbling and destroying all his enemies, killing everyone who isn’t Eldian. Eren’s change in character is very welcome as he becomes so intimidating and mysterious, much more subtle and calmly confident then ever before.

I’m not going to go episodes by episode for the rest of this part because there is a lot to unpack but I have some more general statements about this season. For one the music definitely isn’t as good in this season as for the most part it isn’t Hiroyuki Sawano, who composed such cinematic and dramatic music for the first three seasons, having a mix of heavy rock and metal with beautiful Japanese, German and English singing. The music composed by Kohta Yamamoto is still decent but reuses the same track of Ashes on the fire too much. The animation change is also a big debate in the fandom as the original studio handling attack on titan Wit passed the anime over to Mappa who decided to use more CGI for the titans and also use more realistic human designs for characters. I am not a huge fan of CGI but it is passable and I prefer the larger eyed designs of seasons 1-3 but the new designs help reflect the dark tone and the way the characters have aged.

Speaking of characters I find a lot of the newer characters introduced in season 4 like Yelena, Onyankopon, Pieke and Galliard to be quite lacking, they are decent characters but no one gets much time to shine and could’ve done with more, it kind of falls into the trap of having too many characters where they end up fighting for spotlight, having some of the old squad like Connie and Historia fade into the background. Despite saying that, one character who does improve a lot from his brief appearance in season 3 is Floch. He at first didn’t think he deserved to live in season 3 and expressed how important Erwin was as he was the evil devil they needed to inspire them to fight. The during season 4 he joins forces with Eren and the Yaegerists and takes on Erwin’s mantle of inspiration and propaganda, becoming the passionate leader. The way Erwin’s personality gets split between Armin’s tactics and intelligence and Floch’s comradery and extreme passion is genius.

THE END

I’m going to start with the positives around the finals arcs, I believe the war for Paradis is an awesome arc that stays suspenseful and has some amazing revelations and twists. It is action packed and keeps the audience second guessing where it is going to go. I found some of the deaths very impactful even with characters I wasn’t very engaged in, the two best examples of this are Colt and Galliard. Colt is barely a character and doesn’t get much screentime but has a very emotional death, begging Zeke not to scream and turn his little brother into a Titan, holding his little brother close and protecting him to the end. Similarly, Galliard didn’t have much besides disliking Reiner and Paradis but has such a memorable death: he sacrifices himself to save Reiner even after all their hostility and proclaims whilst half his face is missing, “I always was better than you,”.

All the stuff in the paths and travelling through time with Zeke and Eren is great, revealing the biggest twist in the entire anime that Eren actually manipulated his father into killing the Reiss family, starting all the main events of the current story, portraying Eren as a mastermind. This moment is shocking and horrifying and Grisha’s voice actor really sells it.

Despite the run from Return to Shiganshina to the War for Paradis being exceptional Attack on Titan really stumbles to its finish and I really lost my interest and love for the series in its last act, the last moment I really enjoy is Hange’s death, being fitting for her character and a dramatic self-sacrifice. Everything after her death mostly disappointed me so lets discuss the end.

To start off I hate how Eren’s character is handled, having him seem like nothing more than an angry child, some would say it is consistent with him in early seasons but I would argue he had grown past his immature ways by the start of season 4 and him turning back into a clueless child just wanting to kill everything is regressive and very inconsistent. It makes the Rumbling feel less impactful that Eren just murdered mist the population of the world for the sake of it. Similarly, I really dislike the Eren and Mikasa romance, I always saw it as terrible fan fiction and a weird ship some of the fandom perpetuated and having the show end focusing on how much Eren wanted to be with Mikasa just disappointed me, the panel of her kissing Eren’s decapitated head is terrible in my mind and made worse by Ymir. The founder Ymir’s character mostly made sense in her backstory until in the end it is revealed she actually fell in love with her abuse repulsive King, it just feels so cheap and unexplained.

I feel like the stakes were quite messy I the final battle, having Reiner, someone who has been weak the entire series fighting off dozens of Titan shifters from the past, some are even Warhammer titans who are so powerful with such an insane ability but are easily defeated, in general the lack of death in the finale is very distracting, especially for a show so iconic for its brutality and constant death. It greatly lowered the tension. Another problem this finale has is its similarities to Code Geass’ ending which is one of the greatest endings in television history and closes everything out perfectly, this feels like a cheaper and not as well foreshadowed or fleshed out version. There are a few good moments in the ending like Levi killing Zeke and his emptiness after it. But overall the ending really failed to meet my expectations and showing how the cycle of hate eventually continues felt unneeded, allowing peace for just a little bit would’ve been better.

This review has turned out much longer then I even anticipated I there is so much I failed to mention like how stellar the sound design is throughout the show, whether it be the Titan’s transformation or screams, the ODM gear or the thunder spears, everything sounds impactful and crisp. Overall, Attack on Titan has defined a generation of anime, it will go down in history as an incredible story with lots of twists, beautiful animation, amazing characters and perfect action but with a disappointing ending that made so many fall out of love with the series…

[the-traveling-poet]

hello darling! Congratulations on hitting 100 followers! 🥳 I honestly thought you had at least 1000 cause your writing is really good! And so here I am to request a second fic… could you do a Levi x lieutenant reader where the reader has lost someone close, maybe a sibling and even if she’s usually chatty and everything, now she seems distracted and absent and during a mission outside the walls, maybe to capture a titan or something she almost gets killed and wakes up near Levi in the hospital wing? Thank youuu 🧡🧡

Cleansing

With the fifty Seventh expedition led by the Scouting Corps beyond the walls on the rise, Lieutenant Y/N finds herself on the verge of breakdown. Distracted by the grief surrounding her heart over her late friend’s death the previous expedition, Y/N lands herself in the infirmary wing next to a familiar face.

Pairings: Lexi x Grieving!Reader

Warnings: language, depression, injuries, lost loved ones, SFW, grief-to-fluff, s2

Taglist: @21aurora If you want on the tag list for drabbles, headcannons, and one-shots, just DM me~

A/N: Thank you so much my lovely Alex!! I’m thrilled to have even reached 100 lovely followers 🤎 I’m sorry about the wait! I hope I did your vision justice! I always love your requests~ As always if anything wrote doesn’t meet your expectations, let me know and I’ll happily re-write!

Enjoy~

“Prepare yourselves! We ride out in five minuet’s time!”

Commander Erwin’s voice boomed out across the crowd of both citizens and soldiers alike, reaching the ears of everyone gathered. But for the first time in your enlisted life, the confidence in his tone did nothing to boost your morale.

You sat atop your steed near the middle of the crowd of soldiers, your head bowed as you stared down at your hands holding your horse’s reins.

Fifty seven expeditions the Survey Corps has undertaken, and somehow you still managed to draw breath after every single one of them that you’d been around to participate in.

Others hadn’t been so lucky as to survive the missions beyond the walls, and years ago you would mourn their deaths from afar. As a comrade, perhaps as an acquaintance of the fallen. But now…Now, everything was different.

Squeezing the leather straps of the reins, you forced your chin to raise up and locked your gaze somewhere far away from where you sat. Swallowing down the lump in your throat, you forced yourself to take deep breaths.

Just a few weeks prior, had been the fifty sixth expedition out into titan territory. You’d figured, back then, everything would go as it always had.

Ride for your life, fight like hell, cover the rear guard, and pray to whatever might be out there you didn’t get your ass ripped a new one by a titan’s sharp teeth.

But you had been sorely mistaken, on that fateful day.

Your duty as Lieutenant within the Special Operations Squad was simple; aid Corporal Levi in any way he demanded, and cover your squad’s rear. But that day, you had been selfish.

There had been a girl. A girl you spent a good portion of your teenage life with while training to become a Scout. She had been nothing short of your un-biological sister. Your best friend. She wasn’t apart of your specialized squad, and you grew weary from the lack of contact the entirety of the formation had had that day with the right wing.

Levi’s command had fallen on deaf ears that afternoon when you steered your horse in another direction. You’d called over your shoulder you would return quickly, but your promise was quickly broken.

By the time you had reached the right wing’s position, you’d been too late. The dismembered and mutilated bodies of her squad laid all about the field in mangled heaps, their blood soaking deep into the earth. Titans roamed about the scene, lazily shifting through the corpses to find anyone alive to eat. Unable to take them all out on your own, and without any aid, you choked back your anguished cry and raised a flair gun over your head. Your vision had been blurred by unshed tears when you squeezed the trigger and rode off.

One last glance over your shoulder showed you what was left of your best friend; her body bitten into half and a silent scream frozen on her white face.

You’d never been the same since, and you didn’t figure you would ever be.

And you certainly knew you’d never forgive yourself for leaving her body out there. For leaving her in the first place, despite duty pulling you two apart.

Now, as you sat as still as a statue upon your horse, you forced your mind to wander elsewhere in your memories. Subtly you used your jacket’s sleeve to wipe at the corners of your eyes and focused your attention on the back of your Captain. He sat further up ahead of you all, nearer to Commander Erwin.

As if physically feeling your gaze on him, he turned to look over his shoulder and met your eye. You held his gaze, but showed no emotion on your face, which ironically matched his expression.

He raised a brow towards you, to which you merely gave a solemn nod. Taking that as all the confirmation he needed, he reluctantly drug his gaze away from you and faced the front.

As the gates began to slowly crank open on their rusted metal gears, you made a promise to yourself.

I won’t stop until you’re avenged, even if it costs me my last breath.

Though you were tasked with the rest of your squad to watch over the newest recruit, Eren Jeager, from the center of the formation, you kept your guard up and eyes peeled for any opportunity to seek your revenge against those man eating bastards.

Every titan that was spotted by your group once the formation had split up had been taken care of by you. You’d break away from the squad at every given opportunity to thin out the titan’s numbers, despite Levi’s constant reprimanding.

“Lieutenant L/N! Back in formation, now. We are not to engage unless necessary, you know this.”

“Sorry sir,” you’d mumble in response once you were back in place behind him, but you weren’t really paying attention to his words. With every kill you racked up, the less you could think straight. In order to keep the tears at bay, you just kept swinging.

═════════════════

A little over an hour later, the Forrest of Big Ass Trees (As Levi had dubbed it) loomed high up into the sky just a mile ahead. Hastening your pace, you followed your Captian inside and gripped your reins tighter.

You’d been briefly informed of the situation at hand the night before this expedition; so now you knew to just keep riding, and wait.

You knew you’d take your revenge soon enough…

By the time she appeared, your hands were off your reins and gripping the handles of your blades. Levi shot you a warning look over his shoulder, but said nothing. You both knew you wouldn’t jeopardize the whole purpose of this mission, emotional or not.

When the trap was sprung by your Commander, the last thread of your patience snapped. Springing into action, you shot away from the group to where you knew your Commander would be stationed, and took a deep breath.

Soon. Soon I’ll give your death reason.

To your surprise, Levi landed only a breath away from where you hung latched onto the tree and scoffed. Shifting slightly from how close he was to you, you held your breath.

“The hell was that, brat? You were supposed to supervise the squad after the bitch was captured.”

“Sorry, sir,” you mumbled again, averting your gaze. “But this is personal.”

He gave you a strange look, somewhere between understanding and surprise. But again, he chose not to ask. He trusted you, after all. Even if he didn’t know what was on your mind at the moment.

So when the Female Titan began to scream, and the ground began to rumble and quake with the thuds of charging titans, Levi hadn’t expected for you to bolt forward into the masses.

His warning fell on deaf ears as Erwin commanded his soldiers to advance and take out as many titans as possible before they reached the Female. As you fought your way through tangled limbs and gnashing teeth, time seemed to slow down and speed up simultaneously. But only one thing stuck in your mind.

You were doing this for her.

But in your rage, you failed to hear Erwin’s command for retreat. Suddenly finding yourself alone in a hoard of titans broke you out of your haze, and panic took over. Large arms batted you this way and that as you did your best to swivel through the frenzy. Bones crunched under the pressure of harsh blows, cuts formed from poorly aimed swipes of your blades, human and titan blood alike blinding your vision and loosening your grip.

And suddenly, the world around you faded into a blur and went dark.

═════════════════

Startled yells and fearful screams snapped you back into consciousness. You jolted up, only to gasp as a sharp pain ran through your left leg and arm. Holding your injured arm close to your chest, you saw a makeshift sling tied around your limb. Groaning in both pain and annoyance, you lifted your gaze to view your surroundings.

You were holed up in a wagon with several other injured soldiers, some still unconscious. The world around you was moving fast as the Scouts made their retreat from the botched expedition.

Looking over the side of the fast moving cart, you saw Levi riding close by on his own horse. Your movement caused him to snap his gaze towards you, relief flooding his eyes before they turned sharp once more.

“Not a word, L/N. Just be thankful you’re alive.”

His words caught you off guard, causing you to furrow your brow in confusion.

“Captain, what do you me-“

“I said; Not. A. Word, L/N.” He shot back, keeping his eyes trained ahead. His jaw was clenched and his brows drawn close together in a scowl. He was stiff in his saddle, causing you to worry. But per his request, you managed not to voice your concerns just yet. You’d wait until you were all back safely within HQ. For now, you’d try to rest…

═════════════════

Stifling a yawn, you cracked your eyes open once more. Only, this time, you were back inside the walls. The infirmary within HQ, to be precise.

You heaved a sigh, feeling defeated and frustrated. Your body felt weak, shaky even as you lifted a bandaged hand up towards your face. The movement stung, but you did your best to ignore it.

Hearing a shuffle from the other side of the room, you slowly brought yourself up into a sitting position on the cot.

Across from your bed against the far wall stood Levi. His presence here confused you, until you saw the dust rag in his hand.

Thinking not much of it after this, you cleared your throat to speak. “Evening, Captain.”

His shoulders tensed as he glanced over his shoulder, silently evaluating your state. He was still in uniform, dressed and dirtied as though he hadn’t returned from the walls. It unnerved you, seeing the usually pristine man looking so ruffed up off duty.

He set down the cloth and turned to face you, slightly favoring his right ankle. This didn’t go unnoticed by you, but before you could ask he spoke.

“Finally awake? Took you long enough; we’ve been in this damn room for an hour.”

“An hour? We?” You questioned slowly. “You mean, you’re-“

“Fine. I’m fine.” He insisted gruffly, now looking off to the side. “Eyebrows threw a fit that I should have my ankle evaluated, so I’ve been here since you have.”

Glancing over the bed and down at his ankle, you saw he wasn’t applying any pressure to the joint; merely hovering his heel above the ground.

“Doesn’t look fine,” you mumbled. “Broken?”

“Broken,” he affirmed with a scoff.

“Damn…” you whispered, unable to hide your surprise. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Like you can speak. Doctors said you’ve got three broken bones. Arm, hand, and ankle. All left.” he snorted, doing his best to (discreetly) hobble closer to your cot and take a seat.

“I figured as much. But why are you standing? You should be sitting, or laying. You know, to support your ankle while it sets.” You rolled your eyes and changed the topic, worried about his injury.

“Tch, couldn’t just sit here all day. Not in a room this dusty.” He wrinkled in distance, glancing back over at where he’d left the dust cloth on the windowsill.

You sighed, but cracked a smile. “Of course not. We can’t have that. But…” you swung your legs over the side of the bed with a wince. “I can’t have you hobbling around doing it alone. You might get hurt.”

He watched you incredulously as you stood, gathering your balance before shuffling on your leg’s cast and inched towards the window. Levi limped after you, feinting annoyance.

“Again, like you can speak.”

Chuckling, you grabbed a second cloth and attempted to help him. You were his right, and he was your left.

“So, the others come to visit yet?” You asked absentmindedly, wondering where the rest of your squad was. Levi stiffened, his hand stopping in place on the windowsill. His silence started to eat at you as it drug on, leaving fear to cloud your mind.

“Levi…?”

“They…They didn’t make it,” he whispered, his gaze distant as it stared down at his hand.

═════════════════

By the time he had finished his recount of the events leading up to his injury, your hands shook and eyes watered with unshed tears.

“I failed them, too…” You whispered hoarsely.

“Too?” Levi asked softly, finally gazing over at you.

You just nodded, now unable to meet his eye.

“ ‘This is personal.’ Is this what you meant earlier? Why you were so fucking reckless?” He stated suddenly, his eyes narrowing. With a sigh, you gave in.

“Yeah…I’m sorry, but I had to avenge her. The friend I lost, on the fifty sixth expedition a few weeks back. My best friend…She died because I wasn’t there to help her. And now…the others…” You trailed off helplessly, tears finally falling freely down your face.

A sturdy hand found its way to your shoulder, squeezing it softly.

“L/N, don’t. You did your job as Lieutenant, and you fought well. Their deaths are not your fault.” Levi whispered, a strain in his tone.

Sniffling, you looked to him and saw the same grief that clouded your mind swimming there in his own eyes. You leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling exhausted from having held in your emotions for so long.

“It’s not your fault, either.” You whispered as you felt the hand on your shoulder slowly slide up and pet the top of your hair.

“I’m just glad you’re still here. You don’t have to go through this alone, and now neither will I.”

A watery smile formed unbidden on your face as tears dribbled down your chin and onto his shirt. You’d never seen your Captain so open and vulnerable, even though right now you knew you looked the same. It sparked a curious flicker in your heart, one you heard resonate in his chest as you pulled him in.

Your silent promise to stay with him at his side, and his silent acceptance of you into his life. Maybe even someday, his heart.

[2wheels1bite]

Music, movement and girls.

Those three go together, don't they?

How?  You may be asking but let me tell you how they do for me.

I have these memories in my head that live there forever, like little movies that I can watch anytime I want. Sometimes they come up when I hear a certain song, see a photo of motorcycle I owned and often if I think of a past love in my life.

Like the time I met a girl at a Wrestling Tournament way back in 1984, she was from a few towns away and when she invited me to come to her house for a party, I thru caution into the wind, hoped on my motorcycle and followed some handwritten directions taped to my tank.   After about 1 hour of riding my little Honda 450 I showed up at a High School party in Southboro Mass. I didn't know a soul there except for her, and I had only talked with her for maybe 15 min after one of my matches.

It was something way out of my comfort zone doing, but as Robin Willams said many years later, in Good Will Hunting

"I had to go see about a girl"

A few things I remember from that day was listening to my Prince tape on the way over. It was one of his earlier albums "Controversy"  

I believe it was the first time I took my motorcycle on a major Highway and it was the winter. I hadn't considered the temperature that I was going to have to ride home in at night.  The nervousness I experienced on the way over kept me warm, the thrill of riding so far from home, on roads I've never been on and meeting a girl that I smiled at me on a random Saturday afternoon.

The bike was a 1971 Honda CB450 in Green Like the one above, the helmet was a full-face Nava in red.   I had to modify it to add my Sony Walkman speakers in it to listen to music while riding.  As I pulled up to the house with all the cars parked in front, I remember thinking to myself this is crazy, I can't believe I'm doing this!  

It was a typical house party that happened back then, if you grew up in the 80s you know what I'm talking about.  A whole bunch of kids gathered at someone's house where the parents were gone for the night.   Lots of aqua net in the air, Parachute pants and more than one dude with his Levis tuck into his work boots standing around drinking.

I  was the only motorcycle there!  I got a few " are you crazy?" when people noticed I was on two wheels. It took me a few minutes to find Terri and get up the nerve to go over and tap her on the shoulder while she stood around chatting with all her girlfriends.

The rest of the night was a little blurry, I remember listening to that Prince tape in her parents' car in the garage.  

A few great kisses.

Taking her on the back of the little Honda twin down the street and back.

Then falling asleep on the couch when I realized it was just a little too cold to ride home. The next morning the ride home was very cold and there were a few flurries in the air.   However, I remember it like it happened yesterday, that thrill of meeting a pretty girl, riding my motorcycle on roads that I didn't know and listening to music that I could identify with.

Having dinner a few weeks ago with some good friends we started talking about what people get out of their motorcycles.   One person brought up how it was more of a tool for them and mentioned how they can see how I am romantic about motorcycles.   I couldn't agree more.  

As Robin Williams says in Dead Poets Society....

" We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are member of the human race, and the human race is filled with Passion! Poetry, beauty, romance, love these are what we stay alive for"

Well, I'm here to tell you I can add riding motorcycles to that list! "   Poetry, beauty, romance, Love and motorcycles these are what we stay alive for"

I never saw Terri again after that weekend. My guess is she doesn't remember the boy from Lancaster that road his old Honda on a cold winter day to see about her, I wonder if she ever got a chance to ride on the back of a Ducati?