#lied in my bed for 11 hours but i only slept maybe 40 minutes

[bunnihearted]

.

[cc-still-going-strong]

Second Chance - Klaine fanfiction

Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel

Summary:

Blaine and Kurt has been happily live in their marriage for 10 years. 5 years after married at 22, they decided to adopt a child, her name is Angela. She is the perfect addition for their family.

However, after Blaine successfully win the election and become a Congressman, he is buried in works, he can’t even go home with his loves, his head is full with politics things he has no more place for his family anymore. Stressful, angry Blaine pull it out on them, instead.

Until one day, Kurt tells him something he never ever has dream about, even in his worst nightmare.

Can he makes it? Would Kurt ever give him a second chance?

=====

Blaine Anderson was having a rough time.

For the last 5 months, he had spent most of his time in his office. The promise he made for his campaign is now biting his ass back. It isn’t that he lied about that, it’s just his opponent try to mess up all of it, and won’t stop bringing it up to make his image worse.

He barely stay at home more than 6 hours a day, include his sleeping time. He became an irritating person, who get mad at everything.

Whimsically, the one at the end of his fuss most of the time is the one he loves more than anything in his life – his Kurt. And we all know Kurt, he isn’t the one who keep silent when you throwing tantrum at him… Eventually, everything is a mess! They fought everytime he was at home, or gave each other cold shoulders around Angela. He knew it was him who started it, he knew what he did was wrong right after he left the house in a rage. But he couldn’t control it. He felt so weak everytime it happened, as if he losing himself and pushing Kurt away so hard it would end badly. However, he made the same mistake again and again…

===

Blaine sighed a really long breath before opening his apartment door at 5 AM.

Kurt made him promise to get back home before 11 last night. He clearly broke it, but he was so tired to even give a thought about it, he just went into to kitchen, tried to keep himself silent as possible.

Something in the trash can caught his eyes, a square box with pink ribbon, covered in spaghetti noodles, broccoli, beef and something looked like candles. He blinked a few times, he can hear something boiling in his head, but chose to give it a go instead.

He opened the fridge, took a beer bottle and knocked it all up, took some sandwich Kurt made him this morning but he forgot to take with to work. After finished it, he got in the bedroom and found Kurt was sleeping peacefully in their bed.

Didn’t want to bother his sleep, Blaine decided to take a bath and a change of clothes before going back to his office later. He will take a nap there instead.

===

40 minutes later, Blaine stepped out of the bathroom, to his surprise, Kurt wasn’t in bed.

Blaine guessed that he is in the kitchen, a bit earlier than normal and making him and Angela some breakfast. He thought that maybe the first one in the last month they have breakfast together.

The smell of fresh coffee lured him into the kitchen, he can’t help a little smile when he saw Kurt’s tall and thin body – is he a bit… too thin compare with his memory? – standing next to the counter.

“Morning” - Kurt called him when he caught him standing next to the door. His emotionless face rang the bell in Blaine’s head. If he had a good sleep last night, he may act really different than this…

“What’s with that attitude?” – The inner thought tried to bite his own tongue right away but it was late.

Kurt took a deep breath, fidgeted with the ring in his left hand. “I didn’t know do you want a breakfast or not, so I didn’t make you anything. What do you want?” – he asked quietly, averted his eyes.

“If you make it with that kind of face, then nothing, thank you very much.” – not even in Blaine’s wildest dream that one day he would talk like this with Kurt; but something in Kurt’s attitude made him feel unsafe, attacking… he had to fight back.

He saw Kurt hands squeezing tightly, his eyes shutting, he was biting his lips so hard Blaine can see it bleeding a little, which make his heart clenched.

Before he could say anything, Kurt looked back at him, this time their eyes.

“I want to divorce”.

Blaine’s eyes widened, his stomach flipped off, he wanted to throw up.

He knew his behaviors weren’t good for the last few months, but he told Kurt the reason, he was always so supportive and understanding, what change? Why even Kurt tried to screw his life?

“I know I messed up a lot recently, but it’s because of my works, you know they are giving me a hard time. You, over all the people in this world should understand that!” – he fought back, exhausted but in rage. He had had enough with all those stress they gave him.

Kurt sighed, he looked at his left hand for a minute or two, then he took the silver ring on it, off.

“I know, I also know that you felt more tired and angry when you were home with me…” – Kurt said sadly – “And I totally understand… But it’s so hard time after time, Blaine.”

“And I don’t know since when we loving each other had became hurtful like this… I want to be the one you can’t wait to get home with, not the one you want to avoid a fight everytime you went home. I want to smile and welcome you everyday, not trying to planning how to not strangle you when I met you…” – Kurt cried.

Blaine felt his soul was sucked out of his body, he could sense that Kurt is serious here. His phone suddenly rang up, cut off what he intend to say to calm Kurt down, the ringtone was set for his office, it’s mean it was emergency. He reluctantly accepted the call, his eyes still fixed on Kurt, until something from the phone pulled his out.

“What!? A demonstration? Why?” – he screamed at the phone.

After a minute or two, Blaine fuming taking his coat and ran out.

“Blaine, we haven’t done yet!” - Kurt stopped him.

He glared at Kurt, only seeing red, why can’t his husband just dropped this bullshit thing for a minute, and leave him alone? Oh right, he is.

“You know what, Kurt. We are. We are done! I'm not have any energy to pamper you now, Kurt. Do whatever you want. Send me your divorce form or anything you want”

With that, Blaine stormed out of the apartment. Kurt standing behind, astonished but surprisingly wasn’t hurt as he had imagined.

“Papa!”

Only when an angelic voice calls him, he realized his face is covered in tears, his eyes still lingering looked at the door Blaine was left from. Quickly swept off his tears, he turned around with a tight smile.

“Good morning, honey” – his smile became brighter when he looked at his baby girl, their girl – Angela. Just like her name, she looked like an angel, with a brown curl long hair, two brighten blue eyes, combined with a porcelain skin. She is the perfect combination of Kurt and Blaine, the day they saw her, they knew it immediately that she belonged to their family.

Their used to be perfect family…

Angela tilted her little head, watching Kurt warily, took in his red eyes. She dropped her head, sadly asked.

“Daddy was home?”

“Yeah, he was home when you slept, he has to go to work early today so he can’t have breakfast with you. He said sorry” – Kurt lied without batting his eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it” – she yawned as she answered.

“Do you want to take a day off? You stayed up really late last night though I told you to stop waiting Daddy.” – Kurt asked her nervously.

“It’s okay, I love school!” she reassured Kurt.

Kurt hugged his daughter tightly before lifted her up and sit her down on her own chair. It usually sat at the head of the counter, so that Blaine and Kurt could sit by her sides. But recently it changed with Blaine's so that she and Kurt could have easier chat when they had meals together.

The breakfast slowly passed by. Kurt’s dish as usual, still half full when they left.

===

Blaine pushed his lunch box away before focused in the document in his hand again. It had been three days since that fight, Blaine hadn’t gone home yet. He stayed at his office, asked his secretary to buy him few clothes to change. He didn’t want to face Kurt.

For the last three days, everytime he tried to sleep, he would dream about the moment Kurt asked him to get divorce. He couldn’t stand the face Kurt made then. It is the first time he had ever saw Kurt’s hopeless eyes looked straight at him like that.

He regretted what he said, he regretted that he chose to run away from Kurt that day, he regretted everyday he spent in this office instead went back and apologized.

But he couldn’t move. He scared to go back and see his husband disappointed face again.

His head whipped up when he heard a few knocks on the glass door. Sebastian!

“What are you doing here?” – He asked, confusedly.

“Working” – Sebastian shrugged. He is working with Nick – who is considered Kurt and Blaine’s best friend, in the same law firm, so they sometime still chat with him a little in Nick’s party.

“I can’t see I have any business with you right now, actually”

“Divorce form, ring any bell?” – Sebastian replied with the iconic smirk of him.

Blaine’s face turned white. He did expect it will come because he could see how serious Kurt is, but he still hoping opposite.

“He hires you?”

“Yeah, he couldn’t ask Nick and I’m the only other lawyer he knows. He wants this to be private, for you.” – Sebastian said in such a neutral face, but eyed Blaine warily.

“Put it there” – Blaine pretend to be calm, he couldn’t show any sign of miserably before this man. He knew this man real target.

“I can wait until you sign it, you know” – he said meaningfully.

“Not a chance, Smythe. Back off!” – Blaine glared at him, no more pretending.

“Well, for the last few years, this time is my biggest chance, isn’t it Anderson? Thank you for that, actually!”

“Few years? You really think 10 is just a few years?” – Blaine snorted.

“I told you this at your wedding, and I gonna say it again” – Sebastian downed his torso a little, looked Blaine in the eyes. “Never forget to watch your back.”

They glared at each other, there is no smile between them as they usually showed before Kurt or Nick. They knew they both love the same guy. That has never changed.

=======

The meet with Sebastian boiled his nerve, he tried his best to finish everything on time. But it’s still 11 when he done with it.

Exhaustedly went back to his home, surprisedly to see the door still opened.

He sneaked in to see Kurt and Angela sitting in the floor, Kurt never allowed them to sit like that. He didn’t have time to call them, because Angela sweet voice raised up before him, and it struck him, hard.

“You and Daddy want to divorce?” – she asked, emotionlessly.

He heard Kurt sobbed before answered. “Yeah, I’m sorry baby”.

“But what is divorce?”

“It’s mean we won’t live in the same house again, it will be me or him move out of here.” – Kurt explained, as he hugged her and put her in his lap.

“But it won’t effect you, honey, I swear. You can live with both of us. Just… separated. You will stay with me most of school day, and with your Daddy on the weekend if he has day-offs. If he isn’t, I will take you to the park, just like normal”.

He scrubbed her hair before continued – “And you will have two houses, with two bedrooms, you can decorate it two different styles as you always want; you will have double of your toys.”

She dipped her head, thinking carefully. “So… I will live with you, and when Daddy done working he will play with me?” - Kurt nodded.

“Isn’t it just the same as always? He will just has more works and then not play with me as he used to” – She sadly said. And that clenched Blaine’s heart. Since when his impression in her had changed into such a horrible man.

“He won’t, dear. He loves you so much, when he done with… this problem, he will run to you right away.” – Kurt reassured his lovely kid.

“But if nothing change, then why do you have to divorce?” – She asked.

Kurt looked deep into her eyes, he felt his tear is building up.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m a selfish father. That is… for me.” – he said as he squeezed her tightly.

Angela confused for a moment. Her eyebrows furrowed. But then, suddenly, she was beaming when she found out what it mean.

“I know! If you and Daddy aren’t live together, then you don’t have to stay up late to wait for him anymore! Just as your birthday three days ago!”

Blaine shocked… He forgot. He had no ideas that was Kurt’s birthday. And it’s broke his heart. It wasn’t just a birthday, it was a sign that Blaine had pushed his loves away. Before he could recover from the shock. He heard Angela continued.

“And you don’t have to throw away the food you cooked all afternoon. You always tell me not to left my food, but since Daddy didn’t come home and eat with you, you throw away your own food, too. It wasn’t good, Papa”

“Yes, dear. It wasn’t good. Papa will stop, sorry.” He really surprised that she knew about all of that. But he didn’t know, she comprehended more than that.

“And you won’t have to cry every night because of Daddy anymore” – She said with tear rolling down her cheeks.

“How do you know that?” – Kurt didn’t deny, he cried almost every night; cried or worked his ass off is the only ways he could help him sleep without Blaine recently.

“I heard you sobbing sometime, I don’t like it Papa, I don’t want to see you cry” – she throwed her arms around Kurt’s neck, hugged him closely.

“If divorce Daddy make you happy again, I don’t mind” – She said sadly. “I can tie my shoe now, I can color my own drawing, I will do my math homework alone, I will learn to sing along Disney movies by myself, I will stop waiting for him to come to my school plays and I won’t ask you constantly to bring him there. I won’t need to live with Daddy, I’m used to it already. I can take care of myself, Papa”

She said it slowly, didn’t realize Kurt’s was full with tears. And both of them didn’t know Blaine was crying his heart out outside the door.

“Do you hate him, angel?” – Kurt asked her after a few minutes. Blaine scared to hear her answer, but he knew he also wanted to know.

“No” – She answered determinedly. “I’ll always love Daddy, he is a wonderful dad, you always say that”

She paused a little, warily judging Kurt. “Do you, Papa? Do you hate him?”.

The silence was killing Blaine, he was more than terrified to hear his husband words.

“Never. I’d never hate him. I love him too much for that” – He smiled at her, and she grinned back, happily knew that Papa wasn’t hate Daddy, after all those crying nights or fights.

Blaine closed his eyes, absorbed what Kurt said. He was so lucky to have him in his life. And then he heard Kurt whispered something, barely caught it.

“That’s why it hurt so much”

After set Angela back to her bed, Kurt swept his tears away, slowly observed everything, to remember what did he do before Angela interrupted him because of her nightmare and then they did the talk.

He looked at the door. It still didn’t locked after he went out to throwing garbage and got back.

He stepped into the door, a silhouette caught his eyes. It’s Blaine.

“What are you doing out here? It’s cold, let go inside!” – Kurt silently screamed.

Blaine looked up at his beautiful husband, with a tearful face. Regret poured out of his eyes.

“Can I really go home, Kurt?” – He asked.

Kurt looked at him confused. “You heard that?” – Kurt realized through all the tears and sadness of his husband.

Blaine sat up on his knees. He hugged Kurt waist, his head buried in Kurt’s hip.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Kurt!” – he apologized.

“It wasn’t all your fault, Blaine. It was mine, too” – Kurt spoke above as he rubbed Blaine’s hair. “I know you have a lot of things put on your shoulders now, Blaine. I know I should help you share it. But…”

Kurt sobbed. “It’s hard, Blaine. I felt like everytime we met, we prepared to start another World War. I was starting to hope you won’t go home; I scared everytime I received your call, worried that I would fight with you again, and I did!”

“I don’t want us to be like that forever. I don’t want everything we have together, all turn into hatred! Let’s divorce, Blaine” – Kurt said.

“No, Kurt. I’m still love you. Please don’t end us.” – Blaine begging. “I was so, so, so stupid! I will never ever hurt you again, Kurt. Please, give me a second chance. A chance that you love me again.”

“Blaine…stop…”

“I swear, I will never be late again, I won’t forget any anniversaries again, I will kick myself if I ever hurt you like this again.” – Blaine was miserable. But he knew, if he let Kurt go away, he will be more miserable than this.

He will lose the love of his life… his family… his home… his Kurt…

The thought of losing Kurt kicked in, Blaine tighten his arms, refused to let go.

“Blaine…”

========

Three months later

“Angela! Are you waiting for your Papa?” – A girl around 7 years old, asked.

“No, Bella, today is Friday, so I’m waiting for my Daddy” – Angela answered her best friend.

Her name was called from behind, she turned her head, beaming to see his Daddy standing next to the school gate with a bag of her favorite muffins and another small paper bag.

She waved good bye with Bella before running into her father’s arms.

Blaine picked her up with one arm. “How is my princess?”.

She giggled before kissing his cheeks. “Wonderful! Today I learn to make paper flowers! And I got an A for Maths”.

“My angel is so smart, just as your Papa!” – Blaine beaming.

“Can we go visit Papa before we go home? I want to show him my A!” – Angela begged.

Blaine pretended to be thinking hard, amused watching his baby girl slowly pouted.

He used his index fingers to lift her mouth, made she laughed.

“Of course, darling!” – He said as he fastened her seatbelt.

They drove to Kurt’s theater, he just got a supporting role for a musical. He had to rehearsal everyday, with extra times on weekend; so that Blaine took charge of picking Angela every Friday.

Blaine suppress his laugh when Angela ran up to the stage and sneaked behind his Papa, and with a really surprise jump, she was hanging on his shoulder, laughing happily.

“Angela?!” – Kurt squeaked. “You scared me, honey!”

“Sorry, babe. I saw you guys are taking a break so I told her it was fine” – Blaine stepped up, gave Kurt the paper bag. It is coffee and a cupcake.

“Thanks, babe” – Kurt smiled and sighed happily when he took the coffee out immediately.

Angela held his fathers’ hands, gleefully; silently smiling at them when they talked.

“When will you be home, Papa?” – She asked when they had to leave.

“Soon, honey, around 8? What would you want for dessert? I will buy one when I get home.” – he ran his hand around her back.

“Cronuts! Daddy love cronuts!”

Both Blaine and Kurt looked at her, smiling merrily. She always thought about her fathers first.

“Okay honey, cronuts and strawberry tact, how about it?” – Kurt offered.

Angela nodded enthusiastically while waving goodbye Kurt’s crew.

Blaine sighed mirthfully at Angela ran around the living room, sang along with Ariel on the TV.

He can’t believe he almost lost all of this.

No, they didn’t divorce. But Blaine did sign the divorce form. He signed it as well as a list full of their properties and gave it to Kurt. As an insurance that Kurt can end this anytime he wants. Blaine knew he broke a lot of promises between them, he broke Kurt’s unconditional trust in him. He had to regain it a little bit everyday.

Everyday, after work, he would check his “Marital status” on his computer. To made sure Kurt didn’t send it in. For the first few days, he did it with terrified, scaring to lose his heaven. But later, it became an wonderful feeling, when he saw the simple sentence “Married to Kurt Hummel – Anderson”.

Yes, he’s married to Kurt Hummel-Anderson!

“Papa!” – Angela’s voice brought him back.

Kurt smiling when he stepped inside with a bag of dessert.

“I’m home, honey; babe!” – He said when looked at his daughter and husband.

“Welcome home, babe!” – Blaine smiling, loved the feel of those words slip out of his mouth.

And he wouldn’t change it for the world.

[v-shxook-blog]

Jungkook Dark Night

Dark Nights

4:49 a.m.

He felt too impatient once again as he exasperatedly looked to his left side and saw his alarm clock that bolded the numbers in its display screen in dark blue, enough to let him know of his struggle again. He sighed loudly out of nowhere and once again looked at his plain ceiling as he tries his best to fall asleep, even if it would be no use since he would need to wake up in 11 minutes. He shut his eyes tightly as much as he can, hoping that this would work out, but like usual, it did not.

4:50 a.m.

He opened his eyes and tried to breathe more soothingly, in and out, slowly. After then, he closed his eyes once again and tried doing the counting method his doctor tried recommending.

10… 11…

His breathing slowly became softer and softer, his mind rested calmly…

56… 57…

His body lied down more comfortably than his tense self a few months ago…

98… 99…

His eyes opened widely and he was jotted awake as his alarm clock started to go off loudly, he grumbled irritatingly as he forcibly pulled his body up from his bed and tapped off button harshly. He walked down the stairs, rubbing his eyes, acting as if he just woke up from a deep slumber, when in reality, he cannot sleep. At all.

Jungkook’s Mom:“Morning hun! Breakfast’s ready!”

His mom called out to him as he walked quietly past her and sat down on the dining table, feeling horrible as ever but tried to endure it near his tolerant mother.

Jungkook’s Mom:“Sleep well?”

She asked with a cheerful voice that annoyed the shit out of Jungkook. Nope. Like usual.

Jungkook:“Mmh. Yeah.”

He grudgingly mumbled as his mother put a plate on his side with eggs, sausages, and rice that seemed like it was friend recently.

Jungkook Mom:“Are you sick?”

She continued asking.

Jungkook:“No, I’m just tired. Stressed with school works, sports club… Yeah…”

He continued saying resentfully, just poking the food served in front of him.

Jungkook’s Mom:“Have you been taking your pills?”

No.

Jungkook:“Yeah. I just drank one this morning.”

Lies.

Jungkook’s Mom: “Ah i don’t ahve work on Thursday. Maybe we could go visit your doctor then?”

No.

Jungkook: “Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want.”

It’s not like i could do anything about it. 

He completely lost his appetite. 

Great.

Jungkook: “I’m gonna go take a shower now.”

He stood up from his seat as he said his remark

Jungkook’s Mom: “But you haven’t even touch your food...”

Jungkook:” I’m not hungry.”

He heard his mother sigh softly as he walked away from the dining table and went to the bathroom near his room.

*Don’t worry mom, I’m tired of myself too. Literally speaking*

After what seemed like seconds, he finished his bath and started to dress up plainly for school.

*It’s not like anyone would spare a glance to me*

He heard a loud beep by his window, signaling him that the school bus was there, waiting for his ass to get on. He swiftly left his room and went downstairs, opening the door and closing it, without even bidding goodbye to his mother. He immediately entered the bus doors that opened for him and bowed down to the man by the drivers seat, apologizing repeatedly for being late. The man returned a patient smile that seemed like it was forced... That was, at least, in Jungkook’s perspective.Like usual, he sat down at the seat at the very back of the school bus and nobody dared to approach him and sit next to him.

                                                             ...   

After he has gotten his useless books and notebooks, he went ahead to the room, leaving behind the students continuously chattering with their friends and he didn’t even have one. So why bother staying, right? Besides, he needs to go and try if he’ll be able to at least get a wink of sleep inside the room. He finally sat back at his usual seat, the most cornered one in the back. Nobody noticed him there (except when the teacher decided to call his almost - invisible presence). He was basically another student that doesn’t do well in school and sleep in class. Nobody bothered him too, since he had a vacant sat next to him that nobody wasted time to sit on. Nobody cared. Jungkook didn’t care either. That was until today. The school bell rung loudly, indicating that all boring classes were about to start. Unlike most of his classmates, he didn’t feel enthusiastic at all. It was homeroom time and he was just expecting a kind-looking woman bringing some books and discuss her life story, which only some actually cared about, to come inside. But today, you were walking behind the homeroom teacher with your head down. Nobody knew you, and everyone was as equally curious as Jungkook. The Teachers stood by her table and you just stood in front of the class, facing everyone with a smile plastered on your face. It showed nervousness and happiness at the same time.

Homeroom Teacher: “Good-morning everyone! Today, we have a new student. She just transferred here today. Please introduce yourself to the class!”

Student: “Hi everyone! My name is Eun Min! I hope you would be able to accept me in the class and we all could become friends!”

She said happily, full of energy. You slightly bowed and showed a genuine smile to everyone.

Homeroom Teacher: “Well then, welcome Miss Eun Min! You may proceed in taking a seat wherever you like.”

Jungkook knew there were a lot more vacant seats today, probably a few students who wanted to skip their homeroom time, so he thought Eun Min would never dare sit next to him. He then just laid his head down on his table and closed his eyes. That was what he thought. He heard a few sounds of what seemed like rustling of things and felt a warm presence next to him. He pulled his head up and looked to his right then saw Eun Min fixing her things. Jungkook felt as if someone staring at him, so he looked up at her and  Eun Min smiled warmly.

Eun Min: “Sorry, i just decided to sit here because i like sitting in the back of a room. I hope you don’t mind... I won’t bother you.”

He stayed still staring at Eun Min.

Eun Min: “...I’m Eun Min.”

Jungkook still remained silent. 

*She’s so... so beautiful*

Eun Min: “So do you have any plan of telling me your name?” 

She jokingly said to him.

Jungkook hesitated. 

*She’s just new... But why do i feel comfortable with her? I feel like i could trust her.*

Jungkook shyly smiled at Eun Min.

Jungkook: “Jungkook... My name is Jungkook.”

                                                        ...                            

That night Jungkook laid back in his bed after a long, long, long day. He tried to recall everything.

*Wait, do i even need to remember something? I just had an ordinary day any---*

Eun Min. He remembered Eun Min. Her smile. Her face. Her sweet voice.Everything about her made him feel at ease for some unknown reason. Its is unexplainable really, even for him. He recalled how she started asking him for his name and how she literally grinned when he spoke up.

                                                Flashback:

( Eun Min: “Oh Jungkook it is then! I hope we can be friends, if that’s fine with       you.”

  Jungkook fairly smiled when Eun Min said that. Eun Min was about to speak more but the homeroom teacher caught her talking and shushed her, and Jungkook were forced to stop ‘blabbering’.)

                                           End of Flashback

Jungkook realized then...

*Holy shit, i just made a friend.*

And that was enough to make him smile again. When was the last time he smiled aside from today. Maybe it was when he was still unproblematic about life and didn’t overthink about stuff. How people think of him. How people would treat him after knowing him. Responsibilities he never asked for. Satisfying the preferences set by the society. He feared of being a disappointment, despite knowing he already was. He found himself frowning. This is what overthinking brought. Fear. Assumptions. And apparently, his illness, insomnia. It’s not like he could help it though. It just spurts out of nowhere and eventually hinders from resting, from actually escaping the monsterous thoughts he makes, even just for a few hours. That brings him where he is now. Continuously being a failure to his parents, to his family, to the generation. And here he was again, constantly overthinking things once again. How did he even go to this topic when he was thinking of Eun Min in the first place? Eun Min... He thought of her again. 

*What is Eun Min doing right now? Are you still peacefully sleeping? Or by this time, you were stretching your body as you just wake up?*

He could vaguely imagine Eun Min sleeping with her angelic smile on her face as she are lying comfortably in her own bed. Jungkook could feel his eyes getting heavier and heavier by each second he thinks of Eun Min. Before he continues to at least rest, he tried to have a glimpse of the clock by his side.

                                                         4:20 a.m.

Jungkook felt surprisingly refreshed as he hit the off button of the clock that once again went off loudly at 5 in the morning. He stretched slightly. I had 40 minutes of sleep today. And that was already enough to make him happy and less pathetic.

                                                            ...

Jungkook waited for Eun Min to show up today in the room. When Eun Mion enterd, he smiled slightly.

Eun Min: “Oh... hey Jungkook! You’re quite early huh?”

Jungkook: “ Oh yeah, I always come here early to try and at least get to get at least sleep for a few minutes.”

Eun Min: “ Well looks like you aren’t doing that today.”

Jungkook: “I slept well...”

He could feel a small smile creeping on his face. After almost months of staying up late for nothing, he finally got some rest this time.

Eun Min brightly smiled at Jungkook.

                                                              ...

Jungkook remained calm and happy. Because Eun Min was always there for him. Months have quickly passed and Jungkook and Eun Min have gotten closer and closer. Eun Min’s friendship with Jungkook stregthened. Jungkook was able to open up to you freely, telling most of his life stories, including his illness. He could clearly remember when he finally told everything about himself to Eun Min.

                                                   Flashback:

Jungkook: “Well, I always look tired because I am tired.”

Eun Min: “Huh? What do you mean by that?”

Jungkook: “Well, I can’t really... I usually can’t sleep very well... I have trouble of doing so...”

Eun Min: “You have insomnia?”

Jungkook:” Guess you could say that.”

Eun Min: “Wait! You had insomnia and you never told me?!”

Jungkook: “I thought it wasn’t that necessary you know...”

Eun Min: “It is ! You are already exhausted in school and you still don’t get enough rest!? Have you ever consulted a doctor or something?”

Jungkook heard how  worried Eun Min was. And it made him feel bad, somehow.

Jungkook: “Well, occasionally i go to my doctor. I am told then to drink this certain medication to help palliate my sickness’ effect...”

Eun Min: “ Have you been taking that?”

Jungkook remained silent.

Eun Min: “Tsk. I somehow guessed you were not following him. Well then, I’ll be the one who will remind you to take your pills starting from now on. And you better promise me that!”

Jungkook didn’t like the fact that another person was demanding him to get better by drinking his medication. But he never heard Eun Min’s voice with pity, unlike the other voices he have heard from people when he revealed he had this illness. There was no sympathy, which was one of the things he despised, and it was just genuine concern and worry.

Jungkook: “Yeah, I promise.”

If it was for Eun Min, his only friend, the only person who had the courage to break into his bubble, he would gladly do it. He would gladly want to feel better.

                                                Text Messages:

Eun Min: Hey

               Did you drink you drink your medicine already?

Jungkook: Not yet mom D:

Eun Min: DRINK!!!!!! THEM!!!! ALREADY!!!!!

               BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS

Jungkook: Ok mom geez

                 This is child abuse

                                             End of Text Messages

Eun Min didn’t break her promise of reminding Jungkook to take his pills and got to bed early, texting him at the right time, everyday that passes by. And Jungkook didn’t break his promise of abiding by her demands, taking his medication and trying to get some sleep. He was becoming happier and more proud of himself as he was constantly getting better and better. He was getting at least 2-4 hours of sleep., depending on his mood, stress, or whatever. Jungkook and Eun Min’s friendship became stronger and stronger as each day passes by. They faced several problems together, may have had several fights about stuff, Eun Min and Jungkook stayed firm.

                                                            ...

And Jungkook’s feelings for Eun Min slowly grew stronger. But it slowly crushed by then.

Eun Min: “Hey Jungkook!”

She screamed in delight on the phone.

Jungkook: “It’s 9 AM. for fuck’s sake Eun Min. Jeez, what do you want?”

He said irritatingly

Eun Min: “Remember Jimin?”

Eun Min started to giggle on the phone. Oh Jimin... Eun MIn had a crush on Park Jimin, who happens to be a famous guy on Eun Min’s campus. He was an ultimate heart throb, constantly receiving several confessions from his ‘fangirls’, who are trying their luck to be his girlfriend. “Wow, very cliche of you, Eun Min,” Jungkook said when her and Jungkook started talking about Jimin almost 4 months ago with bright and loving eyes. Jungkook hated him for some reason. How could Jungkook not forget about Jimin, the famous Park Jimin? All Eun Min did is talk and drool over Jimin whenever Jungkook and Eun Min are together. And it always irritated Jungkook. But of course, he’s not willing to let Eun Min see that he’s actually jealous because of some stupid guy who’s famous for is ‘oh-so-attractive looks’. Jungkook could feel his eyes rolling due to hateful instinct.

Jungkook: “Oh that guy... Your cliche crush... What about him?”

Eun Min: “Well you won’t believe this but... We’re officially dating now!”

*W... What...?*

Jungkook felt his throat going dry and his mouth opened in disbelief

Jungkook: “H-Hah? How did that happen?”

Eun Min: “Well, he asked me out yesterday and proposed to me! Oh goodness! He looked so handsome, even if he was just wearing a simple sweater and pants, holding a bouquet of flowers, and ... I can’t even!”

Eun Min squealed on the phone again, as she felt super giddy and happy. It was contrary to Jungkook’s feelings though. The school just held the prom 3 months ago and allegedly, you were assigned as Jimin’s partner. Eun Min considered it as fate, as Eun Min had a big crush on Jimin. Jungkook didn’t attend practices and the event itself though because he caught a fever, so he had no idea of what was happening. The day after the prom, when you visited Jungkook,. thinking he was still sick and finding out he was actually already fine, Eun Min suddenly surprised him with news of Eun Min crush confessing to you during the night after your promenade has ended Jiimin said he was going to court you starting from that day. Jungkook started to become scared that you would consider that asshole’s feelings and Eun Min would have to leave him alone by himself once again.

Jungkook: “O-oh.”

*Guess that day finally came.*

Jungkook: “Congrats then, I guess...”

Jungkook swallowed with his dry throat and his hands started to become shaky as his tears formed.

Eun  Min: “You could sound more enthusiastic for me, don’t you think?”

Eun Min jokingly said, entirely clueless about his current state. Jungkook didn’t like to upset Eun Min, so he tried his best to contain his feelings and sighed softly.

Jungkook: “Congrats then, Eun Min. You finally found someone who will love you for your ugliness!”

Jungkook bitterly laughed.

Jungkook: “I hope you have a great relationship with Jimin.”

Jungkook tried to make it sound like he was sarcastic, that he was happily joking with Eun Min, like how he does it when Eun Min is with him, but in reality, he was gritting his teeth and we was clenching his fist to try and suppress the tears buy his eyes that were threatening to spill out.

Eun Min: “That’s more like it!”

Eun Min obviously said, with her smiling brightly and proudly on the other side of the phone. It was obvious, too obvious that Eun Min were too delighted to even contain the happiness to herself. And Jungkook found it too disheartening for his part.

Jungkook: “Can I go back to sleep[ now? It’s 9 am, and it’s the weekend. I need to catch some sleep!”

Jungkook obviously said as he continued to choke back his tears. He continued to make his face firm.

Eun Min: “Yeah i guess so. You better catch some sleep! Don’t forget to drink your pills, too! Okay?”

Jungkook: “Yeah,yeah. Bye..”

And that’s when Jungkook released everything. His tears. His words. His thoughts. Was he a selfish person when he wanted Eun Min for him and himself only? He thought he had a chance to finally confess his feeling that he had been bottling up inside. He was too much of a coward to do so. Considering Eun Min casual likeness with Jimin, he hesitated and got scared, which eventually led up to Jungkook losing Eun Min completely. He felt nothing but immediate despair and melancholy as his tears continued to fall down. Jungkook locked himself inside of his room for the rest of the day and just cried.

                                         TO BE CONTINUED...