#like I continuously find fascinating the different reactions to the various adaptations

[k00286712]

project statement ‘temporary’ 

the connection between the temporary environments in which we are put into and the permanent emotional impact it can have on us. 

when I received the word “temporary” as our semester one project title, i didn't know how to approach it. with everything being temporary my brain went into overdrive thinking of so many different ideas. while attending college and going into the different studios, i saw everyone working on their projects and seeing their ideas coming together, it made me feel stressed and under pressure. 

it got me thinking about how our feelings can be a direct response to the surroundings we are in. these emotions are things many people face all the time. For example, walking into the lunch hall anxious having people looking at you trying to find a table. the excitement of getting ready to go out with friends. the sadness of attending a funeral and consoling loved ones. how we go through so many different emotions because of these encounters we face. 

this got me thinking about how these circumstances are only temporary. those various feelings that comes under said circumstances only last while we are in that setting, situation, or scenario. if it were not for these different settings, every single one of us would have the same ideas, morals, likes, hobbies, and feelings. it is what makes every single one of us unique. 

each scenario we go through provides us with the toolkit to grow from it. allowing us to tackle further challenges from our previous environments. the toolkit in everyone is then used in our own way. the case can be made that our experiences through those sometimes-tough environments build up our personality, what we stand for and care about the most. 

when looking at the courtyard tree every day i noticed it changing all the time, how the day previous had affected it because of the sunlight, wind, rain, temperature etc. it got me thinking about how different environments affect nature as well as humans. with trees, we see the trunk and the branches, but if it weren't for the roots, the right soil and water it wouldn’t be able to grow. if you try to plant an oak tree in the desert it wouldn't grow the same as in a rain forest. 

we can take a lot of inspirations from the environment to understand how we are impacted by the temporary. similarly, to how the everchanging climate can have a long-lasting effect on the tree, our constantly changing environment does leave a permanent impact of us in unusual ways. nature can often be seen as a metaphor to adapting to our surroundings. the trees change in growth patterns, leaf count and root structure like how our feelings and reactions naturally adapt to those environments.  

connecting my art to temporary 

as can been seen in the third image, i wanted to use the human hand as roots in a tree to connect the idea of how we all can be impacted by surroundings. trees change with the seasons by from sheading leaves in winter to having loads of leaves by summer, but how they get through it and continue to grow is like a metaphor to us in how we grow through different environments. 

one day i stumbled upon a butterfly while trying to come up with ideas. its symmetry fascinated me, and it got me to think about them and their role in nature, more importantly, temporary. this is where i came across the butterfly effect in my research that presents the idea of small occurrences can influences the larger system. i loved this idea and realised I can use it as a major part in my project. butterflies are present often in my work such as my wall piece, the woman as a tree piece and sketchbook. 

as mentioned throughout the project statement, i believe that trees are a great example of how an environment can impact their growth. therefore, i began drawing them often in my sketchbook and worked on them in some of the different pieces. i utilised almost all my workshops to imagine trees is different shapes and sizes. in the end i was happy with how they turned out and i am especially proud of my wire tree as it took a lot of time and imagination to come up with. 

finally, the idea of us mirroring our environment was a theme i wanted to include in my project. in coming up with a good way to present this point of view, i decided to use mirrors. mirrors are a powerful tool we use to reflect upon ourselves and our surroundings. my mirror piece highlights this the most and has two hands wrapped around it. our hands contain the most nerve endings and are in some ways our first point of contact to our surroundings. having the hands wrapped around the mirror is a good way in showing that they have an impact in figuring out our environment. Is it a good or bad surrounding? and how can it impact us in the long term? the back of my mirror piece contains some words and their colour equivalent. yellow is inviting, blue is loved, red is aggressive, and toxic is a dark green. this comes to the auras that are with certain environments in a colourful way 

overall

throughout the initial phases of the project, i didn’t know what my ideas were leading me too and was lost. however, by allowing myself to use the environment as a tool for exploring temporary, i was able to come up with different pieces that i am quite proud to present to you. i also believe that these pieces connect well to the title of this statement that temporary environments do have a long lasting emotional response as human and have to potential to mould us into the people we are today. overall, i am delighted with my project 😊  

[llycaons]

‘the live action wants you to THINK he likes girls, but if you read the sex scenes in the novel you will find that is NOT the case’ he...he can like both men and women...those two things are not mutually exclusive hello? they were doing their best under constraints, I thought it was just as clear how much he liked men...

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a commonplace book: canada-th day of july

sunday, july 3, 2022, just before midnight

typing this on my phone so it’s going to be short and sweet, no links, no visual interest, just a quick debrief before another week goes by — also because I forgot I can’t add a read-more on mobile 🤦‍♀️

reading having a rough time finishing things lately; my bedside table is stacked with books in progress where I’ve stalled out a few chapters after the half-way point, as soon as it feels like I’ve got The Twist figured out or am at all worried about where things are going. have finally gotten both iron widow and perdido street station from the library, making progress on both in fits and starts despite the visceral reaction I’ve had to both at various moments (no book has ever made me want to take a shower like perdido street but damn, china meiville has an ear for language. someone should tell him to find a different word than ‘flesh’ though, probably). for canada day I gave some time to apparent can-lit classic marian engel’s bear, which is also a masterclass in prose style and which i’ve also stalled out on, despite its short length, due to the uh. sense of foreboding i have based on what i have been told happens.

watching is there a weird gap between these two sections? huh. don’t like that. anyway I didn’t post a roundup last week due to Friend Wedding Shenanigans so let me mention here, fire island was a delight and a genuine escape when I very much wanted one, conrad ricomora is a fantastic darcy and the parallels w/ the 2005 p&p made us screech several times, but the twists in the adaptation felt both smooth and effective. weirdly good lighting, also joel kim booster’s name is extremely fun to say and he can get it, also. this week, I came closer to catching up with strange new worlds (in-universe justifications aside, we love a campy fairy tale episode! childhood medical trauma feelings aside! The cast had so much fun!) and stranger things 4, although I have only just gotten to ep 3 in that one. I have blacklisted ‘stranger things’ on here, because I’m not caught up yet and have already got a sense of some of the finale fall out, so it’ll be fun to see whether I can even see this post once I finish it. for my own peace of mind, i also have carried on with ep 3 of rookie historian goo hae-ryung, which continues to be an unalloyed delight, despite some general misogyny and hazing of our girl and her new friends this ep. highlights include the scene where the crown prince demanded she defend her exam answer, and we got to see some of his approach to government/ritual as well as his (grudging?) acknowledgement of her skill, on top of her idealism vs his realism, very good loved it. perhaps the real stand-out this week was @hematiterings and i starting gentleman jack at long last (wild that neither of us had never seen any of it, tbh) and being immediately fascinated by her Whole Thing, all of it, she’s a truly fantastic Awful Female Character by which I mean, deliciously awful if you’re into letting women be awful.

listening had a hard time settling to listen to any one thing this week, aside from a lot of road trip / cottage trip Dad rock, 80s and 90s hits, a la Boston’s “More than a Feeling” which l, yes, is playing on repeat in my head. finished D20’s Fantasy High but have had a hard time committing to either bloodkeep or unsleeping city, and am possibly getting back around to crit role and or exandria unlimited instead.

playing saved up the down payment for tom nook for my house in ac: new leaf! played the board game azul with my housemates last night and won for the first time! harvested some crops and finished the summer bundle for stardew! did a word search on the bus with housemate E today!

making another day, another cracked piece of glazed bisque dish ware, this time a bowl my cousin painted me for christmas 2003. rather than let it sink in that that was basically two decades ago now, I have superglued it back together. it’ll probably never hold soup again, but popcorn? veggie sticks? anything…mostly dry? absolutely. it occurs to me to think about how this section of my ilcb posts so often becomes a ‘mending’ section rather than a proper ‘making’ section, and then to get off that train of thought at the being proud of myself for the care i take of my belongings station rather than riding all the way to worrying about being surrounded by clumsily patched and shabby possessions because I can’t throw anything away. hmm.

working on failed utterly at finishing the June ra-ship work in the contracted june timeframe, so the plan for tomorrow is to return to the Actual Long Term project but to take a super efficient hour or two to chip away at the leftover notes. it’s taking so long because I’m a) anxious b) having to do this w/out a lot of help, but here’s a note for future me: no one cares about this as much as you’re afraid they will, just do your best and get it done.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true, but if they are I can sort of see why they're going for this route? I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

TL;DR: My kneejerk reaction was to be saddened, and I don’t like that this is starting up, and will continue to fuel, fandom drama. Ultimately, if we want peace, we’ll embrace the fact that the existence of this adaptation doesn’t take away from the existence of the books, and it also doesn't mean we have to acknowledge it.

It makes me wonder whether AMC wants us to make a storm about this. We’ll see...

After all, what makes this adaptation any more important than the graphic novels of the ’90s, the graphic novel Claudia’s Story, movie!IWTV, or movie!QOTD? In fact, many fans here on tumblr consider VC to be a trilogy only!!! and don’t accept the majority of the PUBLISHED CANON so what makes anyone think we have any obligation to swallow this AMC adaptation as some kind of gospel?

I see movie!QOTD as a buffet of ideas carried in an official fanfiction work, and I don’t accept as my headcanon the various things it changed about the books that I didn’t particularly like, such as merging Magnus and Marius (which, IMO, effectively made both characters more morally reprehensible). I accepted the things I did enjoy, like casting a Black/POC actress to play Akasha. I see this AMC adaptation as a buffet of ideas, some can be taken, and some not, it’s just another official fanfiction work.

[Anon, I need to catch other ppl up on the information, too.]

Deadline.com informs us that in the AMC adaptation for Interview with the Vampire, Jacob Anderson has been cast as Louis. I'm not familiar with him, but it looks like he’s a successful actor, from Game of Thrones and other things, he’s also joining Series 13 of Doctor Who. I’ll have to check him out from an acting standpoint!

Aside from his talent as an actor, this is by far the most controversial thing that's happened in VC fandom recently. I've been thinking about this for a few months now, talking about it privately online and offline, still gathering my thoughts. So this post is not engraved in stone, it’s initial thoughts on this.

I’m glad to see ppl talking about it and I’m sure we’ll have more public discussions. I’m trying to discuss it very carefully, but also, this is an entertainment blog, my opinions are mine alone, and I’m not looking for dogpiling on anyone, I have no obligation to respond publicly or privately to anything. Plenty of other ppl have differing opinions on this. So take all of the following with more than a grain of salt, I’m not being salty, I’m providing the links to the little info we’ve seen pulicly, I’m giving my initial thoughts, and I’m also trying to add a little levity because ultimately, again, this is an entertainment blog, and I try to add a little humor to help with such serious topics, humor can help ppl talk about controversial things.

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The casting of a POC/Black actor (I’m sorry I don't know the preferred terminology, let me know if you know what Anderson prefers) confirms at least one part of theilluminerdi articles that stated that Louis’ race will be different from the books. I didn’t post about these before bc I wasn’t sure how reliable theilluminerdi’s sources are (and I'm still not sure), but this was one major aspect that theilluminerdi announced before Deadline did, so now seems to be the right time to share those articles. For now, you can go check them out yourselves rather than have my reposting of the information, trigger warning: mentions of sex workers and race in the changes to the canon story of Interview with the Vampire.

>>>theilluminerdi articles from May 21, 2021 and July 15, 2021:

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/05/21/interview-with-the-vampire-amc

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/07/15/interview-with-the-vampire-amc-2

^Meme of Dr. Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park reads: “Your writers were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

I’m using that meme with a little levity here, clearly an AMC adaptation of vampires in which the producers/writers have chosen to change the race of a main character (arguably the original protagonist of the series) isn’t in the same VICINITY as the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park that broke out of containment and killed visitors to the park, but John Hammond’s intention for the creation of that park was very good, as I assume this race change was intended. Time will tell.

“But with this place, I wanted to show them something that wasn't an illusion. Something that was real, something that they could see and touch. An aim not devoid of merit.”

“Creation is an act of sheer will.” 

- John Hammond, Jurassic Park

Race is a more complicated subject than ever, so for AMC to make this bold change, I hope they have POC and Black writers on staff and are handling this very carefully. Even then, no racial group, including POC and Black people, are a hivemind, disagreements are bound to happen in the writing room, whether in good faith or bad. People have different intentions and motives, compromises will probably be made with the story in many ways, we all know how it goes with collaborations; the end product is a shared vision among multiple creators. This could be a potentially controversial adaptation, I don’t know whether they’re aiming for that or not, but with the elements it has so far, it seems to be headed that way.

Here's a comment by "Angellus" on the 5/21 article. It's undeniable that there's going to be the accusation of racism thrown at anyone who has any negative view of this change, regardless of their reasons. I find it unfair and narrow-minded that any negative response is automatically assumed to be coming from a racist point of view. To say that changing Louis' race is unequivocally an improvement fails to take into account how that change has a Domino effect on all of the other parts of the story. Not the least of which is that, if he is still a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term) that adds a whole new racist element to his owning Black/POC people, even though, apparently there were Black/POC plantation owners. 

Not the least of which: How will this change impact his relationship with Lestat? Particularly when Lestat has the added issue of being described in those articles as having “mind control abilities” and “insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection,” a terrible combination in terms of consent, even in a relationship of the same race, let alone invoking Caucasian/white dominance over Black/POC people, AND Lestat being the catalyst to Louis’ questioning his sexuality:

Lestat is insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection, petulance can quickly turn to ruthless rage which causes frenzied acts of horrifically brutal violence. Lestat also has mind control abilities. Lestat initially infuriates Louis, but this soon turns to fascination which leads Louis to question his religion and sexuality. 

^Screencap reads: "I love how racist everyone is in the damn comments, this doesn’t pervert the story you’re all racist and it’s disgusting. I’m looking forward to it, I hope you keep crying your salty racist tears asswipes."

It makes me question whether Angellus truly believes what they wrote, if this is an ideology, or a troll. I would suggest their use of the term “pervert” is correct though, pervert means: “alter (something) from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.” That’s what this race change does, factually. Although, in this context, “distortion or corruption” carries a negative connotation. It would take a lot to show how this change does not meet the definition or “to pervert,” though.

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true

I agree 1,000%, I was hoping that these were just rumors. But, aside from the race change, if this were the only change, I find Louis being a brothel owner to be equivalently morally reprehensible to being a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term). Ideally, they’d change his career to something that doesn’t involve benefiting from the bodies/labor of others in any morally reprehensible manner.

I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

He might still be a slaver. Who knows. Being morally reprehensible as a mortal man didn’t seem to me to be crucial to the story, but they still could have chosen something better. It seems to me like they want a brothel so they can have eye candy for an audience who want to see sex workers, maybe full frontal nudity. 

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What also gets my attention is that Anne and Christopher Rice have not yet posted publicly about it, which leads me to believe that this change wasn’t their choice. They take every chance to brag when they’re proud of something, every chance to crowdsource about casting ideas or which VC books Anne’s fans liked best, etc., and in this case, as of Aug. 31, 2021, (and to be fair, maybe I missed it), I haven’t seen either of them post about this on the official VC FB, Anne Rice’s FB, Annerice.com, Christopher Rice’s FB, or christopherricebooks.com. If it had been their choice, I think they would have gladly trumpeted their credit by now, but maybe they’re waiting to do it in a specific venue. Time will tell.

[yurimother]

Top Yuri Anime Poll Results

Whether it is subtext or explicit, cute or sexy, school love or gay action thrillers I love yuri anime. These series either focus on or contain elements of female same-sex relationships. Pride month is the perfect time to look back and reflect on the best of this genre. I teamed up with OG Man of The Yuri Nation (yurination[dot] wordpress[dot] com/) and together we put out a poll asking what you thought the top yuri anime series were and over 1000 of you responded submitting almost 5000 different entries. We spent hours combing through the data, analyzing and commenting on the results and we would like to share our thoughts with all of you. Enjoy the reflections of me the yuri critic and OG the dedicated yuri fan!

These are the Top 20 Yuri Anime as voted by you

1. Bloom Into You - 692 Votes

OG: Be it East or West the YagaKimi took the world by storm. Citrus and BiY once again taking the top two spots remains unsurprising.There is something undeniably fascinating about our leading ladies consisting of an asexual slowly coming to love her senpai back but restraining herself for various reasons. The biggest one being said senpai having a deep case of self-loathing and a fear of romantic reciprocation, also for various reasons. She is like “I love you but please do not love me back”. Then there is one of the most popular “cursed” lesbians of all time in Sayaka, the fantastic adult side-couple (The world needs an anime starring lesbian adults/mothers) and the various other characters who have their own interesting tales to tell. The series absolutely deserves a spot in the Top 10 though it would not be in my personal Top 3. Oh and as Yurimother said the presentation was fantastic.Visually stunning from start to finish in my opinion. Special mention goes to the criminally underused first-person “camera”. So cool.

YuriMother: I agree with this series deserving a spot in the top ten even if not the number one slot. For me, it was good but not great. Moments such as the aforementioned adult couple as well as stellar art and a phenomenal score made this series enjoyable but they were not enough to overshine the problems of the narrative. For the love of the Yuri Goddess, this series is crying out for asexual representation but insists on carrying on with its confused romance. Enough complaining though, many people love Bloom Into You despite its faults and I agree. The characters are interesting and lovable and it manages to tell a yuri story more real and complex than the typical fluffy girl meets girl narratives.

2. Citrus - 452 Votes

YuriMother: The presence of Citrus and Bloom Into You prove two things to me, the importance of recency, as both anime aired only last year, and the sheer popularity of these series. Both had established and extremely successful manga runs which were adapted into English by the publishing masters of yuri, Seven Seas. Citrus is a contentious series, to say the least, as it includes elements of (non-blood related) incest and non-consensual actions as part of Mei and Yuzu’s “relationship.” However, if you possess the magical power to turn off the part of your brain screaming at you that those aspects are deeply problematic or if you seek a different interpretation then Citrus can be downright WONDERFUL. I actually loved this anime series for its characters, amazing animation, and salaciousness. As OG said, it is an operatic concussion of emotion (seriously everyone in the series needs therapy) but my is it fun to watch. The Citrus anime also holds a special place in my heart, as the first serious piece I ever wrote was a review for it over on Okazu (nice plug)! Citrus is certainly not for everyone but those that stuck with it and overlooked some of the problems ended up loving it.

OG: Here we are again with Citrus at #2. My thoughts on the series remains the same as in the previous two lists I discussed (the Akiba Research and goo Ranking Japan lists), overrated. Good soap opera/telenovela-esque series but my feelings on the cast are mixed (which I imagine was the writer’s intent). My main issue has always been the obstacles repeatedly challenging Yuzu and Mei’s feelings for each other instead of it focusing on “Hey. We like each other but our parents got married. What do we do? Can we keep our desires for each other in check?”. Instead it is one newcomer after another who want to eat either Yuzu or Mei and Yuzu repeatedly asking herself if she really wants robo-stepsister patties? I will give the anime adaptation credit. The story was easier to enjoy animated than drawn. It also helped that I grew up in a telenovela loving family. The characters’ actions, reactions and emotions were depicted better in the anime. I still consider the show’s greatest accomplishment being the humanization of Mei-Tron. In the manga it took a post-epilogue continuation to show readers “Hey everyone. Mei-Tron was human all along.” whereas in the anime I sensed the small bit of humanity quicker than in the manga where I continued seeing her as a block of wood with a brain up to the point where I dropped it. Harumin though is the greatest regardless of anime or manga adaptation. Bless her. Regardless of how I feel about the series I get its massive popularity. After all, were the rest of the story to get an animated continuation I would gladly pick it up...Not the manga though.

3. Sakura Trick - 342 Votes

OG: There are fans who understandably would disagree with Sakura Trick’s praise but I will always defend it and the anime as one of the very best in the genre. First off it aired at a time where animated on-screen close up kisses (specifically consensual ones) between ladies were rare. Haruka X Yuu’s relationship was believable for the most part. Even their season finale resolution, them not getting what being “in love” meant at the time, made sense though I get why it left some scratching their heads. Probably not the best “manga lure/bait” end I suppose. On the bright side Kotone X Shizuku’s story definitely did not have the two doubting their true feelings for each other. I do hope Kaede X Yuzu eventually hooked up in the manga as they too had potential to be a lovely couple.

YuriMother: Sakura Trick has no real narrative, no great insight, and offers little intellectually. As a teacher, it makes me furious, as a fan of yuri, elated. The anime is beloved for its plentiful soft service, presenting a plethora of kisses, cuddles, and awkward thigh shots (ew). However, it was one of the first anime to include this much explicit yuri service without being pornographic. All the characters were cute and fun, even if there was little in the way of development or complexity, it worked for the series. If you want something to make you think or to learn about yuri, pass over this one. But, if you want a cute and meaningless anime definitely watch it.

4. Yuru Yuri - 337 Votes

YuriMother: OG may not be a fan of Yuru Yuri but I certainly am, which is fairly obvious to anyone who observes that a solid 20% of my communications occur in the form of gifs from this series. It is hilarious, cute, and playful. Just like Sakura Trick, this anime is an easy watch with ultimately little substance. However, the part of me that is not rolling of the floor laughing every time I watch Yuru Yuri lives in a state of pained existence with the knowledge that this work of all things ended up being so popular when people are telling interesting stories about queer women and people in actual relationship that manage to still be funny and adorable while having something to say.

OG: The undisputed most mainstream friendly yuri series there is. It is also one of the funniest. My one gripe is that excluding a select few the main draw of the show besides the comedy and yuri is the ship wars, meaning (almost any girl can be shipped with each other). Not a fan of that but hey, it brought Namori the big bucks so who am I to judge? In any case not much else to add. It deserves all the adulation it gets but the free for all shipping irks me. Reminds me of how they botched Chika X Riko in the Love Live! Sunshine!! Anime. If you were going down the Riko X Yohane route from the start then why give us Chika X Riko in the first half? Ship wars yo. Tch. Hopefully I properly explained myself..

5. Kase-san and Morning Glories (Asagao to Kase-san) - 289 Votes

OG: Still wish this got a 12-13 episode anime. The glorious movie showed how much it deserves one. Whether it will happen or not remains to be seen. In any case the beauty of Kase-san X Yamada is how simple their romance is. No strings attached whatsoever. It is as straightforward as a self-proclaimed “ordinary” cutie, Yamada, having a crush on the super cool school beauty Kase-san. Said beauty is revealed to be just as “adorkable” as Yamada. The other highlight is their story not ending once they officially started dating (as is the case with many romance stories) but that being only the beginning, like real life. From then on, side-stories aside, the two biggest challenges for the two is Yamada accepting that it is okay for someone as “ordinary” as her to be the “cool babe”s girlfriend and Kase-san finding different ways to express her love/hunger for the cutie. As for the OVA, cramming the second part of the first series in an hour definitely had the downside of excluding some important moments, yes, but it at least covered some of the best moments in the manga. The first half of the story was summarized in a five-minute music video. One last thing. The animation, though a bit too brought for some, was glorious. It also had some long pauses which were effective (The bus stop scene being the most infamous) but while I did not mind them at all even I will admit some pauses went a bit too long. A small nitpick all things considered. Fingers crossed one day we either get that 12-13 episode anime for the first series, the sequel or both. That is one of my dreams.

YuriMother: At last, an anime that I do not have to react cynically to! Kase-san is one of the single greatest works of yuri animation to ever to be created and its glory is rivaled only by the manga from which it originated. Despite being only a one hour long OVA this adaption told such an engaging and realistic (finally) story of romance and personal growth. We get to skip the meatless girl meets girls arcs and get into the depth and complexity as Yamada and Kase work to further their relationship. They struggle with the fact that they are two different people who want different things out of life and love and have to actually work on their partnership. Kase-san also includes signs of physical affection and love that are never lewd, immature, or gross, I do not even think I could refer to them as “service”. However, for me, Kase-san’s greatest victory (both the anime and manga) is in its escape from school romance, which in this genre is often a shelter from reality, allowing for women to be in relationships without actually being queer. Kase and Yamada instead make an effort to continue their romance and build a life that includes their relationship once they graduate in a triumphant final act. This anime is a slap in the face to the class S stories and sloppily sexualized works which proliferate the yuri genre. Asagao to Kase-san shines as a holy beacon for the greatness that this genre can achieve.

6. Puella Magi Madoka Magica - 286 Votes

YuriMother: Hurray!! For two entries in a row, I get to talk about series that I wholeheartedly adore without having to constantly attach caveats. Puella Magi Madoka Magica is not considered by all to be yuri, and that is certainly not what it is best known for. PMMM is however famous for twisting the tropes of the magical girl genre and creating one of the most cohesive and thoughtful narratives ever put to screen. This series summoned a new era for the magical girl genre (what OG humorously referred to as the “Moepocalypse”) but no other title managed to top Madoka Magica’s runaway success. Every aspect of this work is highly polished including character designs, a phenomenal soundtrack, and superb writing. This is not only the definitive work of its genre but of all postmodern anime. Whether or not one is a fan of yuri every anime fan should give Madoka Magica a watch.

OG: Meduka Meguca. Its impact in the “Moepocalypse” (Shows where cute and sexy girls consistently suffering physically and emotionally. These are usually dark magical girl shows.) genre and legacy are undeniable. It deserves all the praise it gets. It scarred many unfortunate souls, Homura is a legend in yuridom, Kyouko X Sayaka are glorious (Especially in Rebellion), Meduka’s Mom Junko is a Top Tier Sexy Mama, Charlotte the Witch is a very strange girlfriend and of course Hitomi is a walking anti-fun meme. The animation, especially the creepy doodle like monsters known as Witches are memorable. However, it is not my favorite Moepocalypse show. That honor goes to Yuki Yuna is a Hero.

7. Strawberry Panic - 224 Votes

OG: Like it or not Strawberry Panic is a yuri classic. I have a strong feeling that like many readers around my age (31 during this writing) this was their first 100% yuri anime. The cheese is real but it is the yummy kind of cheese and I loved almost every minute of it, except Amane X Hikari. That was the weakest of the love stories going on. Poor Yaya trying too hard (Not saying this in condescending way. She literally tried too hard). It is like a young adult lesbian novel but more fun. I mean Nagisa X Shizuma might as well be “Lesbian Twilight but not crappy”. Let us be honest, Shizuma is a vampire. Chikaru is an undisputed goddess and Kagome is the cutest.

Oh and I will repeat this statement till my last breath…

#TamaoWasRobbed.

YuriMother: I may be almost a decade younger than OG but even for me Strawberry Panic was my first yuri and it more than earns its nickname as the “gateway yuri,” although last year’s Citrus and Bloom Into You may be presenting serious contenders for this title. If for no other reason than nostalgia, Strawberry Panic remains my favorite yuri works but this ridiculous soap-opera of an anime does deserve a fair amount of recognition. I see Strawberry Panic as the culmination of the S subgenre revived by Maria Watches Over Us. However, this work succeeds at both parodying many of the tropes of S and yuri while breaking a few. However, its greatest accomplishment is introducing many of the young western fans of yuri to the genre. Strawberry Panic, you are an overly dramatic mess but thank you for all you have done.

8. Revolutionary Girl Utena - 176 Votes

YuriMother: Another gem of the yuri genre, actually scratch that, if works like Kase-san are gems then Utena is the minerals from which gems form. I think that is how it works, I am not a geologist. My poor analogies and subtle nods to Steven Universe aside, Revolutionary Girl Utena is one of the single most important works of yuri anime, possibly even more so than Sailor Moon. These two works were the dawn of the current age of yuri, an era spurn on by social progress and the internet into a place where more yuri works featuring honest depictions of homosexuality are flourishing. Utena laid the groundwork for queer representation in anime and for that I remain forever grateful to this masterpiece.

OG: I must confess. While I saw the movie long ago and thought it was cool I have yet to sit down and finish watching the main series. I cannot say much about this show other than it is another yuri classic. Possibly one of the biggest. I think I will leave this to Her Holiness because even if I had seen it I do not consider myself someone who possesses the sufficient intellect to properly explain why this is a legendary show.

9. Flip Flappers - 132 Votes

OG: I would need an essay to explain why this show is legendary. Let me see. It is a story of a girl who discovered her gayness thanks to her growing attraction to a lovable idiot/genki. There are references to Western media, dimension hopping (including Class S Hell), self-discovery, a sexual orientation journey, a tree, armored wedding gowns, crazy third wheels, Ku Klux Klan stand-ins…You know what? Just watch Flip Flappers. It is a hot mess of random, crazy, creative and thought provoking awesomeness with a wonderful dose of gayness. Glory be to PapiCoco. However, as Her Holiness mentioned this is essentially Ikuhara-san levels of weirdness (though not as complicated I feel) but as the plot thickens it all (sort of) starts making sense...eventually. That tree yo.

YuriMother: Flip Flappers was almost too strange and abstract even for me, and that is saying something. However, upon further examination, one of the most interesting works of yuri is revealed. This heavily stylized anime delves deep into the sexual maturation of its protagonist while examining the yuri genre and representation in media. Flip Flappers is the perfect marriage of heavy visual style and intellectual substance. Definitely give them one a.. err better make that three watches, as you will want to be sure to get everything out of this beautiful series as possible.

10. Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid - 131 Votes

YuriMother: This series is the closest anime fans have to a lesbian couple having a family that we have, and that is a shame. I LOVE family narratives, outside of the yuri genre Usagi Drop is my favorite anime. To me, seeing women balance life, a relationship, and children is some of the best queer representation there is. However, for every point in Kobayashi’s favor, there is also a glaring fault. Kobayashi is a modern woman in the workforce providing for herself and her “family,” but is borderline abusive to Tohru. Kanna is an inquisitive child being raising by two women, but there are weirdly sexual scenes featuring her. As previously mentioned on this list, if one can silence the reasonable part of the brain this work becomes enjoyable, hilarious, and adorable. Unfortunately, its faults prevent it from being more than an amusement and I seriously doubt that they will fade in the second season. But hey, it sells a ton of figures so… YAY!

OG: This series is one of the closest yuri fans have to a series starring a lesbian couple with a daughter and it is wonderful. Is the tale of an eternally grateful dragon who wanted to repay the human who saved her life, albeit drunk, by becoming her live-in maid. Tohru being a dragon girl had incredible power and could easily crush everyone in sight but preferred to try and understand humanity so she could live in peace with the woman she loved. It of course was hard at times but thanks to Miss Kobayashi slowly growing to accept her back (romantically she had a ways to go) and the two raising the adorable bundle of mighty puff known as Kanna they became a happy family. How long this relationship will last and whether Miss Kobayashi would come to fully love Tohru back romantically remains to be seen. I have high hopes it can and will happen. Kanna X Riko is precious (Yes. Even that scene). We even have a potential BL couple, which is nice. Not a fan of Lucoa X Shouta the shota. Not because of the age gap but it not being my kind of romantic comedy. It is the same reason I have a hard time buying Tsubame X Misha from UzaMaid. Mya-Nee X Hana from Wataten...maybe. At least Mya-Nee showed she is patient. Back to Dragon Maid. Great series. Naughty of course but great.

11. Sweet Blue Flowers (Aoi Hana) - 119 Votes

OG: Megane girl falls for a cutie but has a hard time confessing to her to the point she gives a relationship with another girl a try. Said other girl has troubles of her own courtesy of her own views on what love. Do not get me started on the OTHER girl who likes megane’s girlfriend. I did not even mention megane girl’s first love interest who she herself eventually begins questioning her feelings for the glasses wearing maiden. While this is well known throughout the history of yuri anime Aoi Hana made it clearer than ever that Yuri + Classical Music go hand in hand. Plus the show is quite pretty. Ultimately enjoyment of this series depends heavily on viewers’ patience.

YuriMother: Aoi Hana was ahead of its time in many regards. Most yuri during the early twenty-first century was unrealistic and melodramatic, especially with the revival of S stories. Aoi Hana instead presents a calm and realistic story that we still rarely see in yuri anime today. Instead of relying on tricks like service or comedy Aoi Hana presents a serene and character-driven story which is matched by equally calming scenery. It is certainly not the most thrilling watch, but a slow and beautiful slice of real life that remains one of the all-time strongest yuri works.

12. Yurikuma Arashi - 99 Votes

YuriMother: Yurikuma Arashi is strange, to say the least, but this is not out of the ordinary for legendary director Ikuhara, who also directed Utena. Parallels are easily drawn between this work and Flip Flappers, as they are both complex and encoded with enough symbolism to drown a bear. Yurikuma is one of my favorite works in the yuri genre and I have had more than a few heated discussions about interpretations of the work, including one memorable occasion when I was visiting a college professor and we ended up in a shouting match in the middle of the hall. However, while Flip Flappers holds a high degree of polish the same can, unfortunately, not be said here. Yurikuma Arashi has more than a few scenes of fanservice many of which overly fetishize the characters and relationship and some of the symbols, particularly lily flowers and the word “yuri” are practically beaten to death with an object I refuse to come up with because I am starting to have my fill of symbolism. However, despite some of its sloppiness, Yurikuma is one of the single most interesting and well-formed anime out there and analyzing it is practically a right of passage for seasoned yuri fans.

OG: Yurikuma Arashi is my favorite of Ikuhara-san’s series. To me it was the least complicated of his works but even so I needed help to understand the show. Luckily I had plenty of assistance. The meat of the story is more complicated but put simply it is about a war between a group of bear girls (and some human girls) who want to freely express their love and/or desire/hunger for each other and another group that amounts to Right to Censor from WWF. Like I said it is far more complex than that but that is the gist. The anime is quite ecchi and it has good reason for it. Again the gay bears are the more liberated of the groups and them getting more sexy scenes is meant to showcase that. Our heroine has good reason to be grumpy and a divine entity was introduced alongside a certain someone from a certain dark anime we already discussed.

In the end it is a show starring lesbian bear girls. I love love stories between women and i love bears. It was obvious I would end up enjoying this one. Like other complex stories it is not for everyone. Shows like Flip Flappers, Utena and Yurikuma have something of a learning people will have to get accustomed to in order to enjoy them.

13. Whispered Words (Sasameki Koto) - 88 Votes

OG: To me Aoi Hana and Sasameki Koto were always connected despite the former being a drama and the latter a comedy. Both star a female protagonist struggling with how to best tell the girl she likes her true feelings whereas their love interest for one reason or another makes it all the more challenging to get their feelings across. Both shows aired during a time yuri was not as popular of a genre as it would become over time. Perhaps if they had come out a little later when yuri was becoming more popular in the mainstream they would have fared better…Then again they may have helped set the groundwork for future yuri shows so it’s just as well they came out when they did. In any case both good shows worthy of “best of yuri” lists. SK has the dynamic of the megane in love and her somewhat airheaded love interest who specifically likes “cute girls”. Poor megane has a hard time figuring out what the airhead defines as “cute”. The show also features an amusing side-couple of an ojou-sama and her tsundere girlfriend. Not to mention the somewhat controversial side-girl who plays a more prominent role in the 2nd half of the anime. Heck, even Mr Crossdresser himself is cool. Let us not forget Miss “Ha Ha Ha!” Another really good show that I would love to see the rest of the manga get animated someday but considering most anime are essentially manga commercials and the SK manga ended the odds of a 2nd season are close to 0.

YuriMother: 2009 was a great year for yuri anime, with both Sasameki Koto and Aoi Hana, among other works, airing. But while Aoi Hana sought to resist many of the common tropes of the genre and tell a simple grounded story Sasameki Koto appears to have looked a the list of every convention possible and say “yeah I can do that.” It has melodrama, comedy, one-sided love, friend love stories, I worship this genre but even I think there is a limit. However, Sasameki Koto is one of the most competent yuri anime works of the current era. While all the tropes are present most of the problematic aspects of the genre are not. The story is well written, characters enjoyable, and art that is really well done for the time. I enjoy every watch and if I ever want to quickly download the genre’s tropes into another person's head I need only duct tape them to a chair and throw on Sasameki Koto.

14. Riddle Story of Devil (Akuma no Riddle) - 77 Votes

YuriMother: Akuma no Riddle was highly anticipated back in 2014, sporting a premise of student assassins that, while certainly not unique, was outside the norms for the yuri genre. It promised a dark and thrilling take on the yuri genre that would not become popular until the yuri horror trend a few years later. At first, it looked like this would be successful with an excellent setup and some pretty compelling characters but ultimately Akuma no Riddle fell flat and became more derailed as it continued. The monster of the week style of episodes left little room for complex plots and plans or proper character development, which is a shame because of how engaging so many of the assassins were upon original presentation. However, this show still has some of the best action in the yuri genre, placing it alongside series like Cannan and Utena despite its flawed storytelling. If nothing else, the anime may compel one to read the manga, which expands the story and characters more than the show was given time to.

OG: Professional assassins secretly gathered at an academy in an attempt to take the life of a seemingly innocent cutie to win the ultimate prize, one of whom wishes to protect the adorable redhead. Yes the manga, which is pretty much a Director’s Cut, is better and the anime would have benefited from having 20+ episodes instead of 12 and a delightful beach OVA but the show did a good job of showing viewers what each assassin was like, their motivations (though many of their origin stories were summarized in written biographies during commercial breaks viewers needed to pause to read) were clear enough and the duels, as brief as some of them were, had enough spicy goodness in them to be memorable, especially the ones in the latter half of the show. Oh, and although the manga wrapped up after the anime it had a very similar ending.

15. Revue Starlight - 72 Votes

OG: Gay theater girls who strive to become the top star, meaning the best actress or lead actor of the cast. How do they do it? By working hard and overcoming their personal hardships? Yes. That. What makes this show so wonderful despite being almost a year old as of this writing is not only do the ladies all have interesting stories to tell but so does the stage. Every song, prop, movement, dance, gesture etc. It is like the performers and performances are united. It is like in Spongebob where not only does the person in the boots tell a story but the boots as well.

Oh yes. I almost forgot to mention the mysterious underground theater and talking giraffe. Never forget the talking giraffe from Hell. #Wakarimasu.

Super cool and super gay.

YuriMother: Bushiroad continuously gets better at what they do, creating media franchises of cute girls filled with music and making mountains of cash from smartphone games. Inspired by the likes of Love Live, they created BanG Dream and last year Revue Starlight. However, where these franchises fell short Revue Starlight success. It never twists its characters to tell a story but rather creates compelling arcs around them. I thoroughly enjoyed and agree with its place on this list.

16. Konohana Kitan - 68 Votes

YuriMother: I know of Konohana Kitan for its constant presence at yuri events more so than the anime or even the manga. It is adorable, relaxing, simple, and fun. While it does not add anything super substantial to the genre it does not take anything either or present any objectionable material. The “plot” is nonexistent but that does not matter, as it is not trying to tell a story or make commentary, just be fluffy and simple.

OG: Konohana Kitan to me is a Girls Club (Cute girls doing cute things) and iyashikei hybrid anime. It is visually stunning as it is relaxing with Yuzu pretty much one of the cutest demigoddesses in existence. She of course is a chick magnet but her heart will forever belong to Satsuki.

17. Destiny of the Shrine Maiden (Kannazuki no Miko) - 65 Votes

OG: The other stuff on the show is still not that great but ChiMeko will forever stand the test of time as far as I’m concerned. Top 10 for their love story alone. Yes. I know THAT ONE SCENE continues being controversial and talked about every time curious new yuri fans witness greatness…but I will forever defend Chikane because I get where she was coming from. Would I have done something different? Yes. The thing is you need to put yourself in her shoes and understand what she wanted to accomplish and how far she would go to get it done. Kotoha is best side-character and Souma Ogami is real man’s man who does not deserve the hate. He was an honorable warrior to the end. He fought well and accepted defeat like a man. Plus his yell is inspirational.

YuriMother: My feelings on Kannazuki no Miko are incredibly mixed. It has many of the worst facets of early current era yuri anime, tropes include S, rape and… am I reading this correctly, demon mechs? Worst of all it presents a cycle, a never-ending loop that haunts the characters in the overarching plot and it does not resolve it. If a work ever presents such an element, like Puella Magi did, it must be overcome or confronted at least. Its presence makes the already cringy story feels cheap and lazy. However, I love the two female leads and their difficult relationship. I love the music, especially the hauntingly beautiful ending theme, and the final moments of episode 11 are some of the greatest seconds I have ever seen in an anime. I cannot wrap my mind around my view of this series but at the end of the day, I understand it. I do not believe that work like it would ever be warmly accepted today but for its time it does stand as a breakout piece of yuri anime.

18. Princess Principal - 61 Votes

YuriMother: Princess Principal is one of the best anime of the past few years. It had everything, an interesting premise, great characters, an incredible soundtrack. Alongside all this is the sharp writing and thrilling story. Princess Principal did everything Akuma no Riddle wanted to with an intriguing and action-packed story featuring strong characters. On top of all this, the animation is top notch. A six-part movie sequel is planned which has me somewhat concerned, but I am glad to see that it is being continued as the ending to the series was one of its weakest aspects. Now if you will excuse me, I need to listen to some jazz.

OG: Cute and sexy gay spies in a dramatic British Steampunk setting. What more do readers need? Allow Her Holiness to elaborate a bit further. Currently waiting for the multi-part cinematic continuation.

19. Izetta: The Last Witch - 60 Votes

OG: I am known for loving shows people do not think as highly of. Izetta: The Last Witch is no different. I love this show so much. Besides how certain events transpired some complained about the depiction of WW2. Basically think about people ranting about storylines and content featured in certain Call of Duty and Battlefield games. Here however, it is clearly a fictional great war inspired by WW2. I was invested in the following:

-The cute and sexy ladies.

-Seeing two badass lesbians lead an army against an evil empire.

-FiZetta’s romance. This of course being the major highlight. I love FiZetta so much. My sexy lesbian babies and Anne X Grea’s mentors. They taught them everything they know after all.

It is similar to how I felt watching Kannazuki no Miko where my focus was primarily on the leading ladies’ developing romance. The difference is that unlike Kannazuki I was also somewhat entertained by our heroines’ enemies along with their allies. Basically viewers’ enjoyment of the show depends on how seriously they take their history and are willing to overlook the liberties this story takes with its depictions of the weapons, military and the familiar evil empire. FiZetta are one of my favorite lesbian couples of all time.

By the way, in that famous scene, yes they did. Viewers just have to squint their eyes to see “it”.

YuriMother: Another show that I consider to have squandered its potential. I know that lots of people enjoyed this one, including OG but I could not bring myself to finish this constantly mediocre series. Perhaps I am tired of alternative light-fantasy European-war inspired plots. Trying to stand out in this bloated genre is difficult and Izetta fails. Izetta started strong and hooked many viewers with its amazing visual and auditory polish but this was quickly lost in the plot which, while set up well, struggle to gain any ground of pay off what had been established. On the yuri side, it did not really do anything interesting or satisfying, with plenty of scenes feature the character’s standing next to each other looking cute and one or two moments of actual yuri. I am glad that some of you were able to enjoy this one more than me at least.

20. Maria Watches Over Us (Maria-sama ga Miteru) - 57 Votes

OG: Like Strawberry Panic this is a “Like it or not” classic. Despite being a Class S show it did its own thing and became a pioneer for . It’s also responsible for the many yuri jokes related to all-girl schools in anime.Shimako X Noriko best Grande and Petite Souer! Yumiko X Sachiko were great too as the two grew to better understand each other. Most memorable scene for me was the panda costume. Even Sei is a sleeper icon in all yuridom. Yoshino X Rei had a very interesting dynamic. I actually think they are the real pioneers of relationships between cousins. Thank you YoshiRei. HaruKana, Kaede X Sara and several others owe you two much appreciation.

YuriMother: Another great and significant series, Maria Watches Over Us, took the tropes of early yuri works, Catholic schools, a lack of men, piano scenes, and emotional relationship rather than physical ones and turned the dial up to 11. For better or worse, it single-handedly revived the Class S genre and was copied (and parodied) endlessly for over a decade. However much I complain about S I actually do not think that we would have the current age of yuri without its popularity and proliferation at the beginning of the century so I owe a big thank you to Maria Watches Over Us for that. Ignoring its historical importance and literary significance the anime still presents an engaging plot with wonderful characters and more butchered French than my last trip to Europe. It is certainly worth a watch and worthy of a place on this list.

What do you think should be on this list?:

YuriMother: As I previously said, this is a pretty perfect list. As far as missing titles I can think of the following.

Simoun - not the greatest in terms of plot or animation but it had cute service and a fun action-packed plot.

Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl - This series may be strange and present the dreaded love triangle but it did its best to tell a transgender narrative in 2006, naturally this involved aliens, and I applaud it for its attempts.

Cannan - This series is light on the yuri but heavy on the suspense, action, and amazing character designs. The terrorist plot is exciting and the final train fight featured in the series is one of the greatest action spectacles in anime that somehow manages to remain grounded.

OG:

-Harukana Receive: Best all-female sports anime ever made. Plus the gayness is not subtle at all.

-Mikagura Gakuen Kumikyoku: Eruna Ichinomiya is an underrated yuri icon. While not the first of her kind (That honor, I think, goes to Galaxy Fraulein Yuna) she set the standard of cool and inspirational badass lesbian protagonists who are proud of who they are and...also happen to be super perverts. Eruna made it cool to be such a protagonist. It is nice seeing a lesbian lead who does not care what anyone else thinks. She is hungry for cute girl booties. While she often loses her control in the presence of pure beauty she, as an inspiration for others like her, has enough self-control to not go overboard (most of the time).

-Symphogear: Symphogear is love, Symphogear is life. Hopefully Season 5 will keep up the good work.

-Rinne no Lagrange: My favorite mecha anime and the reason I embrace OT3s when the signs are there. Not the greatest but man was it fun. Plus Madoka Kyouno is still sexy.

-Yuki Yuna wa Yuusha de Aru: My favorite Moepocalypse anime of all time. Yuna X Togo taught me to love and trust some people outside my closest family again.

-Mouretsu Pirates: If someone were to ask me “Hey OG. What to you is the perfect anime?”. I would tell them Mouretsu/Bodacious Space Pirates.

-Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl. Thanks to the first fan commenting and reminding me of it. Definitely worthy of a spot. #HazumuWasAlwaysFemale

Final Thoughts:

OG: Pretty good list and close to what mine would look like were I to make one. Reason I have yet to do so is because I do not feel confident enough to pick a favorite yuri anime of all time. Favorite yuri manga and couples? That I can do, but anime always seems to give me a hard time choosing my absolute favorites. Like I said though, a potential yuri list of mine would look something like this. I also found it interesting how similar the Top 10 are among both our respective fanbases and visitors to the poll conducted by the Akiba Research Institute.

YuriMother: I may have done most the complaining and left the praise to OG but I actually and really happy with this list. I think that every title presented is a worthy addition and while I would certainly move some higher or lower than their current placing I do not believe that these are too far off from my own opinions, which is surprising for a popularity poll. More than anything I am thrilled to see that works I dislike that I thought to be popular did not make this list. Perhaps I should have more faith in people and their opinions. Everyone did such a wonderful job voting and I am so grateful!

Thank you so much everyone for reading and for voting in the top yuri anime poll. To see the full results of the poll and to support yuri news, reviews, and content, check out the YuriMother Patreon. Happy Pride Month

[imaginaryelle]

Okay, @tonyglowheart , here is that promised response:

@three--rings  already brought up some points I was going to mention so I’ll skip over going into detail on those and just say that I agree with the use of caution and thoughtfulness in approaching works produced by other cultures (of whatever language), and I, too, love a mash-up of MDZS and CQL for ideal storytelling. Accepting genre tropes in general is really important as well. I once showed my grandfather a piece of my writing based on pulp adventure stories like Indiana Jones and his main reaction was “All these secret chambers and codes and gadgets, isn’t that all very convenient?” and I just had to shrug and say, that’s the genre, it’s part of what makes it fun to read. Also, based on reading about various medicinal histories I’ve been exploring, I can say that the coughing up blood thing is a trope based in Ancient China’s traditional medicine. Lots of pre-understanding-of-blood-circulation societies thought expelling old or stale blood was important for the body (possibly based on how menses works and reflected in Western medicine’s several-century-long obsession with bloodletting), and I recently read that having it caught in your chest and needing to cough it up was part of China’s take on things. I’m still not sure about all the other face bleeding, but if it’s not actually based in something historical it seems like a reasonable extension for the genre.

Okay, so the thing I want to respond to most is the translation bit, because I… okay. I understand that people are going to find works in translation less accessible than works written in a language they can read, and especially works written in their native language and of their own culture. Because obviously there are a ton of underlying ideas that inform word choice and symbolism and character arcs that most people just don’t really think about until they make a serious study of writing or literature (or they travel and learn more about other languages and literature traditions). On a linguistic studies level, language literally shapes the way humans in different cultures think, and what they pick out as important (an academic article that compares English and Chinese specifically can be found here). Even the distinctions between British English and American English, on a word choice and theme or syntax level, can have an impact. I have seen it turn kids off a book, because there are just too many elements they don’t get (this is, for example, why there are two English versions of Harry Potter). Same thing with different decades even. I’m talking about kidlit and YA here because that’s a lot of what I work with, but in that realm, the way we approach stories today is just incredibly different from how they were approached even 50 years ago, even in the same language and the same country. Think Judy Blume or The Dark is Rising vs Diary of a Wimpy Kid or Percy Jackson. And I’m fascinated by those changes, and by the effects of culture and bias on translations (I am extremely hyped to read Emily Wilson’s Odyssey translation, for example), so I tend to approach them as puzzles, where I’m reading the work, but also looking for clues that will tell me more about both the translator and the author to hang in balance. I enjoy that part, and I enjoy figuring out aspects of the two languages that can contribute to how a translation evolves.

I’m a language and literature nerd, and I know not everyone is going to take the approach I do.  I’m not going to fault anyone for saying they don’t enjoy or can’t get into a translation. That’s a perfectly valid opinion. Reducing a work to its translation and judging it only on that impression of it, however, seems pretty shortsighted to me. Here are some things that I think are important to keep in mind when reading a Chinese work in translation, just based on my own extremely limited knowledge:

1. In Chinese storytelling it’s an established practice to reference idioms, poetry, folklore and historic events as a sort of shorthand for evoking the proper tone. Chinese writing tends to be extremely allusive, and much more understated than what we’re used to in English-language storytelling. We can see hints of this in some of the MDZS translator notes, and it’s likely that this difference feeds into a lot of dissatisfaction with the translation. Either the allusions are not translated in a way that adds meaning for an English-speaking reader, or the standards for detail are different. Indirectness and subtly are huge parts of Chinese literature, and so different words or scenes will have very different connotations for Chinese vs. English speaking audiences. And this isn’t even touching on the use of rhyme and rhythm in Chinese writing, which are all but impossible to translate a lot of the time, or the often extremely different approaches to “style” and “genre” between the languages (an interesting article on comparative literature is here at the University of Connecticut website). Given this knowledge, it’s entirely possible that, for example, the smut scenes are more effective in Chinese than in the English translation. In fact, I find it difficult to believe it would be popular enough to get multiple adaptations and a professional publishing run if they weren’t. In translation, smut is a lot like humor: every culture approaches it a little differently. Unless a translator is familiar with both writing traditions and the relevant genres (or they have editors or sensitivity readers who can offer advice), something is going to get lost in the process. And sometimes that something is what at least one of the involved cultures would consider to be the most important part. It’s unfortunate, but it happens.

2. Chinese grammar is slightly different from English grammar (and I’m focusing on Mandarin as the common written language here. For anyone interested, a very basic rundown of major differences is available here). Verb tenses and concepts of time work differently. Emphasis is marked differently – in English we tend to put the most importance on the start of a sentence, while in Chinese it’s often at the end. Sentences are also often shorter in Chinese than in English, and English tends to get more specific in our longer sentences. From what I understand, it’s also a little more acceptable to just drop subjects out of a sentence, and that is more likely to happen if someone is attempting to be succinct. I’ve been told that it’s especially common in contentious situations, as part of an effort to distill objections or arguments down to an essential meaning (if I’m wrong about this or there’s more nuance to it, I’m happy to learn more). As one example of how this affects translation, let’s take that and look at Lan Wangji’s dialogue. I’m willing to bet that most of his words are direct translations, or as direct as the translator could manage. But his words don’t work the same way in English that they do in Chinese. If you continuously drop subjects and articles (Chinese doesn’t have articles) out of a character’s speech in English, they start to sound like they have issues articulating themselves, and I see that idea reflected in fic a lot. The idea that Lan Wangji just isn’t comfortable talking or can’t say the words he means is all over the place, but I don’t think the audience was intended to take away the idea that Lan Wangji speaks quite as stiltedly as he comes off in the English translation. He’s terse, yes. But I at least got the impression that it’s more about choosing when and how to speak for the best effectiveness than anything else, because so many of his actual observations are quite insightful and pointed, or fit just fine syntactically within the conversation he’s part of.

3. Chinese is both more metaphorical and more concrete than English in some ways. In English we use a lot of abstract words to represent complex ideas, and you just have to learn what they mean. In Chinese, the overlap of language and philosophy in the culture results in four-character phrases of what English would generally call idioms. Some examples I found: “perfect harmony” (水乳交融) can be literally translated as “mixing well like milk and water” and “eagerly” (如饥似渴) is read as “like hunger and thirst.” If these set phrases are translated to single word concepts in English, we can lose the entire tone of a sentence and it’ll feel much more flat and... basic, or uninspired. The English reader will be left wondering where the detailed descriptive phrase is that adds emotion and connotation to a sentence, when in the actual Chinese those things were already implied. 

As translations go, MDZS in particular is an incredibly frustrating mixed bag for me, partially because of the non-professional fan translation, and partially because my knowledge of Chinese literature and especially Cultivation novels is so minimal as to be nearly non-existent. But I have enough exposure to translations in general and Chinese language and literature in particular that I could tell there were things I was missing. The framework of the plot and scenes was too complete for me to ever be able to say that any particular frustration I had was due to the author, not the translator. There’s a big grey area in there that’s difficult to navigate without knowing both languages and the norms of the genre extremely well. At one point I was actually able to find multiple translation for a few of the chapters and I loved that. It was really cool to see what changed, and what remained essentially the same, and I was actually really surprised to find that rant you mention, because to me, more translations is always better. I think it was probably about wanting to corral an audience, and possibly also about reducing arguments from the audience about whether a translation was “wrong” or “right.” And that is an issue that’s going to crop up more in online spaces than it has traditionally. Professional translators don’t have to potentially argue with every single reader about their word choice. But then, professional translators also tend to have a better grasp of both the cultures they’re working with as well, and be writers of some variety in their own right, and while I can’t know how fluent (linguistically or culturally) the ExR translator was at the time, the translator’s notes lead me to believe that at minimum their understanding of figurative language use was incomplete. So I can’t fault people for not enjoying the translated novel as much as CQL, for example, because it can be quite choppy and much of the English wording feels like a sketch of a scene rather than something fleshed out fully, but I don’t think it’s fair to apply that impression to MXTX herself or the novel as a whole in Chinese.

More about ExR: I also got the sense that they have a strong bl and yaoi bias as you mentioned, mostly from the translator’s notes. And in general, okay, that’s fine, they’re working with a particular market of fans and I’m just not as much a part of that market. I knew going in that I wasn’t the target audience. I’m okay with that. What I was less okay with was getting to the end and reading the actual author’s notes in translation and finding that the author herself expressed a much more nuanced, considerate, and balanced approach to the story and her writing process than I had been led to believe by the translation and the translator’s notes. And so when people want to criticize the author for things that happen in the translation…. I just think it’s very important to remember that the translator is also a factor, as is the influence of the cultivation genre, and the nature of web novels, and the original intended audience. As you said, white western LGBT people were never the intended recipients of this work. It comes from a totally different context. But I think it’s also important to remember that, again as you noted, it wasn’t first written as a professional work. It was literally a daily-updated webnovel, which works a lot more like a fanfic than a book in terms of approach. And on top of that, it was the author’s second novel (if I’m reading things correctly) and one that they experimented with a lot of new elements in. Those elements earn a lot of forgiveness and benefit of a doubt from me.

About MXTX herself: Most of the posts or references to posts that I’ve seen that judge or dismiss her have to do with the stated sexuality of characters who are not Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. And it just kinda baffles me, because this is fandom. Most of us spend our time writing about characters who are stated to be straight all the time. Why is anyone getting up in arms about this? How can anyone in fandom just summarily dismiss an author for producing original work that centers around a gay relationship when that’s… literally what most of us write, to some extent or another? Again, I’m not saying there’s aren’t aspects that can be criticized in her stories, but the hypocrisy is kind of amazing. I think that fandom, as a culture overall, has issues with treating gay men and their relationships as toys rather than people, and individuals can address their own behavior on that as they learn and grow. That doesn’t mean that every work about gay men having sex is fetishistic, and honestly I’d say that the translator demonstrates more of that attitude than the actual story ever does. The smut is such an incredibly tiny part of the world, plots and character arcs in MDZS that it could be taken out without significantly changing the main narrative very easily. That’s… not fetishistic. That’s smut as part of an overarching romance plot.

Which leads me to the tropes discussion. Yes, obviously there are tropes in MDZS. There are tropes in every story. It’s not a failing, it’s part of writing. Are some of those tropes BL or Yaoi tropes? Sure. Wei Wuxian denying his own sexuality for much of the novel and his tendency toward submission and rape fantasy are some of the very first tropes mentioned in relation to the genre. That Wei Wuxian just sort of seamlessly moves from “pff, I’m NOT a cutsleeve, I’m just acting like one” to shouting “Lan Zhan, I really want you to fuck me” in front of friends, enemies and family without much of a process for dealing with the culture of homophobia around him also seems to be characteristic of the genre. But I think that’s about where it ends. You and @three--rings both made some good points about the nature of the actual relationship, which I agree with: There’s not much of a power play element, or an assigned gender roles element. They’re both virgins who only partially know what they’re doing from looking at illustrations of porn, and they do enthusiastically want to have sex with each other. They’re just bad at negotiating their kinks clearly and could use a decent sex ed manual. The trope I actually have the most issue with is the use of alcohol. I personally despise the trope of “I’ll get someone drunk on purpose for reasons that benefit me personally,” due to my own real life experiences. But it’s an exceedingly common trope in Western media (Idk about Chinese media, but my guess would be it exists there too), and it’s not exclusive to mlm smut scenarios. It’s pretty much everywhere. And, thankfully, Wei Wuxian does seem to eventually realize that he’s fucking things up by using it. That said, despite knowing what happens to him when he drinks, La Wangji keeps doing it. So they’re both contributing to that mess, no matter how much I dislike that it exists, and the narrative doesn’t actually condone it. No one says “Oh, Wei Wuxian, that’s such a good idea, that’s definitely something you should keep doing.” He is consistently warring with himself over it but unable to resist. It’s still dubcon and manipulation, and I certainly understand people not wanting to read it. I just also think that reducing the entire relationship down to “bad, terrible, fetishistic BL tropes” requires the reader to ignore large parts of the story and pretty evident intent on the parts of both the characters and the author.

On purity culture: Yeah, that’s obviously been cropping up all over the place the past several years (I have indeed been in marvel for ages :P). It does seem like there are places in fandom (to some degree any fandom), where “I don’t like how this idea was executed in this context” gets conflated with “This entire work is terrible,” which is a disservice to everyone involved. I agree that there are many things that can be legitimately criticized in MDZS, but I also just… really don’t understand where this attitude comes from that because something is not perfect, it’s trash. Wasn’t fandom essentially invented out of the desire to respond to canon? To make it more your own? Isn’t picking out the parts you like and ignoring the bits you don’t (or writing around the bits you hate until you can fit them in a shape you like better) pretty much what all fic is about? Aren’t those holes people are sticking their fingers into and complaining about opportunities for more fan content?  But even more than “purity culture” I would term it “entitlement culture,” because a lot of it seems to be about the idea that media should fit into and support a certain set of beliefs at all times. A lot of fandoms are no longer an atmosphere of “I don’t like the way this is presented so I’m going to create my on version that works for me.” Instead there’s a growing element of “I don’t like the way this is presented so that means it’s wrong and bad and the original creator should admit that it’s wrong and bad and fix it to satisfy me.” And honestly? That’s just sad to me. More and more, we’re not having a conversation with canon, or even with each other. We’re not building what we want to see we’re just… tearing other people down. I really don’t understand what anyone finds fun in that, and I’m going to do my best to keep creating the things I actually do want to see instead.

[meditativeyoga]

To Stretch or Not to Stretch? Understanding Musculoskeletal Imbalances in Yoga

Most yoga exercise trainees involve class with preexisting musculoskeletal discrepancies, which impact their practice in many means, and also could even predispose them to injuries.

In this meeting, yoga therapist as well as physiotherapist Marlysa Sullivan goes over the duty of musle inequalities in yoga as well as why stretching a muscular tissue might not lead to the results you would certainly expect.

Q. Just what are musculoskeletal discrepancies, and just how do they influence our yoga practice?

Marlysa Sullivan: Bone and joint discrepancies happen when a muscle mass or muscular tissue group ends up being too tight or too weak, as well as no more is able to execute its normal feature. This then has a spillover result into other parts of the body, which after that have to compensate and work harder compared to they're designed to.

For example, it's typical for the transverse stomach muscle-- the inmost layer of stomach muscle-- to be turned off. The transverse stomach muscle mass is a vital muscle for supporting the reduced back.

So, for the yoga trainees where the transverse stomach muscle doesn't engage effectively, there will likely be some low back issues existing. They will certainly not have a steady low back or a stable back when they relocate. Consequently, they end up removaling erratically, creating a lot more imbalance in the joints as well as triggering some muscle mass to work more challenging as well as obtain truly limited. So it leaves them imbalanced.

When individuals begin yoga exercise with these type of discrepancies and are anticipated to removal into the Warrior postures or Downward Dealing with Pet dogs without the requisite stability of in the core body, it however has the tendency to continue these patterns of imbalance.

Q: So, imbalances in the transverse abdominus is one aspect which could result in a lack of core stability. Are there any kind of various other usual musculoskeletal inequalities that you think typically impact yoga students?

Marlysa Sullivan: Yes, especially in the reduced back as well as hips. The other usual imbalance remains in the gluteus maximus as well as gluteus medius. They usually don't engage efficiently or the best amount. So that creates less stability in our hips.

So, numerous yoga exercise students have these unstable components in the lumbar spinal column and also the hips. Understanding ways to engage the glutes, to make sure that you could relocate better is essential. This implies discovering not to problem or hold in the glutes, yet engaging them in such a way the helps to stabilize the hip and pelvis.

Q: Fascinating. We usually believe in regards to lack of versatility, e.g. in the hamstrings, and exactly how that impacts our yoga exercise technique. You're claiming that the inability to involve a muscular tissue efficiently plays a similarly important role?

Marlysa Sullivan: It commonly goes with each other. If you consider the absence of adaptability in hamstring muscular tissues, for example, the hamstrings and also the glutes both work to expand the hip. The glutes are truly powerful muscle mass that's expected to be utilized whenever we stroll, when we prolong our leg behind us.

But if our glutes typically aren't functioning correctly, after that our hamstrings will be working excessive. So, you can extend your hamstrings every day as a lot as you desire, yet if every single time you stroll, you're overusing the hamstrings, they will not extend, they're getting tight.

So, when considering exactly how to most optimally extend your hamstrings, something to take a look at is taking away that overuse variable. By enhancing the glutes and learning exactly how to utilize the glutes in asana and also yoga practice, that in turn helps you to learn exactly how to make use of the glutes in your day-to-day life. That will lessen the overstimulation of the hamstrings, and afterwards you can in fact stretch them extra effectively.

If you're just attempting to stretch the hamstrings, but you never retrain your glutes, the hamstrings will never in fact obtain that versatile, because they will constantly have the stimulation to overwork when you walk, which will create tightness.

Q: Just what is the beginning of musculoskeletal imbalances? A simple lack of usage or absence of understanding, like for instance, when we don't stroll properly? Or is there a psychological or psychological part as well?

Marlysa Sullivan: Yes there is. Among individuals that have done a great deal of operate in this location is they physical therapist Vladimir Janda. He did a great deal of research to figure out why are these the muscles that have the tendency to always be closed down.

What he discovered is that it is very similar to people with neurological dysfunction. If our nervous system is constantly in a battle or flight reaction, our muscle mass are going to be set off in that battle or flight reaction. If we're mentally and emotionally in a fight or flight state, particular muscles will constantly be engaged and also transformed on, which after that makes other muscular tissues turn off.

For instance, the psoas muscle mass, the huge hip flexor in front of the hip, is extremely much related to our considerate reaction. If you're under a great deal of tension as well as stress and anxiety, the psoas muscle mass will get over active, as well as this, consequently, will certainly turn the contrary muscle off, i.e. the gluteus maximus.

So, component of the factor why the glute max isn't functioning correctly is frequently this other muscular tissue assistance of the psoas. So, if you're continuously in a supportive, fight or flight state, and also you're trying to extend your psoas as well as your hip flexors, it will not have much effect, they're not getting extremely far.

It's truly by unwinding the nerve system, entering a parasympathetic state and also learning how you can remain in that parasympathetic state, that we could relax the psoas and also involve the glutes. Also being able to be mindful as well as mindful of how to ease and just how to engage has to take place from that change from considerate to parasympathetic.

So, one of the points that yoga does, which is very unique and different from various other kinds of workout, is that it's looking at the impact of the state of mind. If I'm very nervous, or if obtain very distressed in reaction to stimulation, that's going to affect just how the muscle mass are working in my body.

So, we can use the extra reflective and also conscious aspects of yoga exercise to develop a calm room and consequently transform our response to our emotions and ideas. This will relax a hyperactive nerve system, and also transform the shooting patterns of muscles to an extra healthy, normal tone.

Q: You work a great deal with chronic discomfort and yoga exercise. Is this attached to persistent pain issues in the feeling that these musculoskeletal discrepancies incline us for chronic discomfort issues down the road?

Marlysa: Most definitely. With persistent discomfort, it goes out an action even more: The entire worried system has actually become overly animated as well as the limit for activation comes to be lower. At some point, any type of amount of stress and anxiety or any kind of amount of anxiousness, rather than just bothering us slight, activates us up to all the method to 100%. And in persistent discomfort, our whole brain modifications as far our internal maps of the body and also exactly how we become conscious of our body. Chronic pain is even extra relocated into that direction.

Q: Fascinating. Can discovering our body's particular musculoskeletal imbalances and also ways to remedy them be practical in regards to preventing neck and back pain or various other muscle skeletal issues down the road?

Marlysa Sullivan: Yes, since if you learn ways to removal your body most properly, definition, the best ways to support one component of your body as you attempt to extend one more part of your body, you will not produce strain.

As I stated previously with the psoas and also transverse abdominals, if yoga exercise pupils attempt to extend the psoas, but do not maintain your back spine, they can conveniently wind up just prolonging their back spine and compressing their back.

But if you find out how you can support your lumbar spine with the appropriate involvement of the abdominals and after that stretch the hip flexors from there, then you'll in fact obtain the stretch where you want it. Component of supporting the body and discovering exactly how to engage effectively allows you to bring to extend where you want it, and also reinforcing where you want it. This consequently is essential to removaling in yoga without creating injury.

Want to get more information concerning bone and joint inequalities? You could be curious about Donna Farhi's online course! Composition of a Centered Body: Dealing with Structural Imbalances in the Core Body - The Core Cylinder

[wario-where]

WW Meta: character reactions to being “on the outside”

( Never would i ever have imagined myself one day typing “warioware meta”, & i know no one asked for this, but... if you find this kind of stuff as interesting as i do, i hope you enjoy :’) )

It occurred to me that each of the characters in the WarioWare series could be examined separately as a different reaction to being an “outsider”, and so I wanted to write about it and share! As the series is in itself a celebration of the strange, it prides on being different from the rest. But that doesn’t make the developers invulnerable to their own unique circumstances!  This is a long post altogether, but a few short character pieces underneath the readmore. 

This post makes a lot of references to the WarioWare MMG Developer Diaries, which can be found here!

Wario: Selfishness

With his trademark abrasive personality, Wario lives his life with seemingly little regard for his friends -- or for anyone but himself. He refers to himself with the overly grandiose “ore-sama” personal pronoun and continually neglects to pay his employees with every new game in the Ware series. 

But it’s well-established in the Mario universe that, as a child, Wario was jealous of the attention that his better-known counterpart got, thus driving him into the antagonist role of early games in the Mario series. Wario reacts to being othered with greed & a dogged pursuit of self-service, doing most things in furtherance of his own selfish goals... possibly stemming from a belief that if he does not fight for his own wants in life, then no one else will:

“While I was away crusading against the mystery alien Tatanga in Sarasa Land, an evil creep took over my castle and put the people of Mario Land under his control with a magic spell. This intruder goes by the name of Wario. He has been jealous of my popularity ever since we were boys, and has tried to steal my castle many times.”

- Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins English manual, pg 3

WarioWare takes place far after this time in his life, as he seems to have settled down in Diamond City & no longer appears to be preoccupied with antagonizing Mario like he used to. Despite this, he has remained greedy and self-serving in most respects.

Mona: Adaptability

Mona is strange. She has an odd sense of humor, an obsession with nose fortune telling, and a fascination with such unsavory characters as Wario. Despite this, she is also a part-time pop star and cheerleader, has an active & healthy social life, and is unafraid of speaking what is on her mind.

As comfortable with herself and outwardly confident as she is, Mona is a perfect example of adaptability. She knows she’s “different”, but she’s versatile enough to blend in with a wide variety of people and social situations and, for all intents and purposes, lead a (somewhat) average teenage life.

Of note about Mona is her tendency to include as many people as she can in things that she finds fun or exciting, especially those in need of friends. One of my favorite illustrations of this is from the Japanese Smooth Moves diaries, where she commiserates with Ashley over not seeing their parents often, and even invites her to hang out:

“My mama is always away from home because of her work, so I sorta understand how Ashley feels. Don’t hesitate to come and visit me when you’re lonely!”

In Gold, she continues this trend by inviting her old friend & classic boss Joe to a party she is hosting with her friends. Those who make a point to include others like Mona does in the things that they do often understand what it’s like to be excluded...

Jimmy: Nostalgia

Jimmy is entirely unique as an “outsider”, because that status is not with respect to society itself, but to the past & his own youth. 

Though Jimmy is generally placed around the same age as his childhood friend, Wario (~25-26), some of his mannerisms suggest that he still views himself as a younger man. He remains as hip on new trends as possible, embracing email and text messaging and enthusiastically encouraging his coworkers to follow suit. His most jealously guarded secret is implied to be that his large, expressive afro is actually a wig, possibly meaning that he is either losing hair or keeps his natural hair short to make way for the more obnoxious blue ‘do. 

His appearance & preferred style of dance are distinctively 70′s, and in his diaries, Jimmy uses the pronoun “boku” to refer to himself, a pronoun usually reserved for use by teenagers and younger men aged ~14 to ~21. He enjoys disco and spends entire days at Club Sugar, dancing away the day with seemingly no other cares in the world, much like a younger, less mature man would. 

Jimmy does a lot to preserve an air of youthful vitality, but while he does it, he lives in the past. In the end, though, he seems happy with this lifestyle... as does his entire family!

Dribble & Spitz: Observation

Both Dribble & Spitz’s stages & developer diaries revolve almost completely around one facet of their lives: their taxi-driving. The people they meet while on their shift, the places they end up, the strange things that happen on the road… on a typical day, the rest of the world passes by their taxi window.

I think the most interesting things come into play when considering the two individually, though. Of the duo, Spitz seems most content with this lifestyle. Symbolically he has a fascination with outer space, where the only action available to do is to observe, to people-watch. And in one of his more illustrative entries, Spitz views the Earth from space for the first time and is so struck by the planet’s beauty -- and the constant movement of the people inhabiting it -- he begins to cry:

From outer space, the Earth looks perfectly round, beautiful… Thinkin’ about how on the Earth, there was always somethin’ somewhere hastily at work, I couldn’t do anything but cry a few tears… What could I say?

A little more restless than his companion, Dribble talks frequently about wanting to take vacations from work to engage with the people around him in social events. Despite this, he finds entertainment in being an observer, particularly from passengers with strange stories, foremost of those being the frequent misadventures of Dr. Crygor.

Dr. Crygor: Independence

Speaking of! The eccentric doctor lives on an island in the middle of the ocean. From there, he does as he wishes, caring little about the opinions of others and pursuing his unconventional scientific endeavors in peace. 

Dr. Crygor is aware that he is a uniquely scientific thinker and has experience with people disbelieving in his out-of-the-box theories and observations,  apparently even from childhood. Nonetheless, he cares very little about what other people think of his lifestyle, choosing instead to trust in his own intellect and find answers by scientific means:

Long ago, yes, when I was a 10-year-old child, I discovered this fact, and I reported it to my friends with excitement, but no one could believe it. However, I studied with various gums, and I remember reporting the research results to my friends, and them finally believing me. From that moment on, I aimed to become a researcher…

On his island, Dr. Crygor is free to be as he is and perform as many scientific experiments as he pleases, free from the constraints of societal norm -- whatever that may be in the WarioWare universe. Though he is aware he is an outsider, he could care less. He takes advantage of his freedom to take his eccentricity to extremes -- because he can, and because it is suitable for his work.

Kat & Ana: Obliviousness

Like most young children, Kat & Ana are much too young to have any conception of the world’s social norms. The vast majority of their diary entries revolve around their interactions with those in their immediate friend circle and with each other, with very little attention to the world beyond that.  They are certainly different from other kids their age, but they are also entirely unaware of it. So, how can one respond to being an outsider if one has no idea that they are one? :’)

Ashley: Self-Sabotage

Of all the characters listed here, it’s Ashley who is the most destructive in her approach to her outsider status -- because she creates it herself. In fact, many of her most common behaviors seem tailor-made to keep people at arm’s-length.

Ashley stands intentionally on the outside of groups, rarely smiles, and struggles to express emotion besides anger and apathy. Her compliments are halfhearted and passive (“I guess”, “maybe”, “not bad”), while her insults towards the player after losing her games are direct and personal (“pathetic! abysmal! lame!”)! She is vain (“Everyone knows that I’m the greatest!”), has a short temper, and is occasionally very cruel towards even her closest friend, Red. She prides herself on others’ fear of her (“You should be afraid of the great Ashley!”) and defines herself by what she is in relation to her own superiority, and by what she is not in relation to other people (“She never plays with dolls and she never combs her hair / Who has time for girly things like that?”).

And yet in her unguarded moments, Ashley is aware of a side of her that desires friends and companionship. She appears to think about, if not miss, her absent parents. She blushes on the implication that she is enjoying her time at the potluck in Gold. And in yet another revealing moment in her Japanese diaries, in which Ashley tasks Red with writing her diary entry...:

“I'm Ashley's close friend, Red. I haven't told this to anyone, but Ashley is actually pretty lonely. While we were experimenting with magic by the riverbed, we saw a friendly family of apes. Then, Ashley seemed to be looking far away. I acted as though I hadn't noticed, but I know very well. She was probably thinking about her parents from her hometown. Ashley has more cuter characteristics than you may think!”

(https://www.mariowiki.com/Talk:Ashley_and_Red)

We see her trending away from this loneliness slowly, but surely!

Orbulon: Insecurity

Ironically, Orbulon sets himself up as an almost-perfect counterpoint to Ashley. While Ashley consciously builds up walls around herself to keep people out, Orbulon is continuously having to take down the walls others build around him.

In his diaries, Orbulon struggles greatly to communicate in earthen language, his writing riddled with syntactical errors. At a company barbecue, he claims to enjoy himself, not because he is having a good time, but because everyone else is. And notably, he mentions enjoying being around Mona, because “she does not treat me like an alien.” 

In other entries, Orbulon is secretly insecure, caring a lot about what others think of him, especially with regards to his intelligence. When he is invited by 9 Volt to a friendly gaming tournament, he spends the entire night practicing playing video games, worried that it will reflect badly on him if he doesn’t win. In another (somewhat depressing) entry, Orbulon, in a bout of loneliness, makes multiple failed attempts to visit each of his coworkers, even at one point seeking out Dribble & Spitz’s taxi. Eventually, he is able to find Kat & Ana... but leaves shortly after, as he quickly becomes self-conscious when he senses that they are “acting strangely” because he is around. In the end, Orbulon ultimately goes back home to sleep instead.

Orbulon of the diaries is constantly thinking about himself in relation to the earth-folk around him, hoping to eventually belong... but it seems he eventually achieves it. :’)

9-Volt: Rebelliousness

9 Volt is known at his school as a troublesome kid.  His name appears on the blackboard for time-out in Twisted, and his teacher even singles him out during 18 Volt’s classroom introduction! He is uninterested in his schoolwork and has to be bribed to complete it. And despite being very close to his mother, he does defy her by staying up late to play video games and hiding from her when she comes to check up on him in the night. 

But outside of school, 9 Volt is not at all a bad kid. In fact, he is actually compassionate, intelligent, and -- like Mona -- also seems to have a tendency to want to include people who he sees on the outside. He is the only one to approach 18 Volt on his first day in class after their teacher scolds him; when he sees Orbulon walking home alone, he invited him over to his house; he frequently invites Kat & Ana over to play video games... and, perhaps sweetest of all, his “pet”, Fronk, is a rescue:

“A year ago, [Fronk] had been abandoned and I picked him up. I made a personal decision to make him my pet. What would I do without him?”

Clearly not a bad kid! 

Baby Wario Screenshot Source: https://www.mariowiki.com/File:YIDS-Wario_Baby_Bowser_Argument.png

[midnightjeon-blog]

Alcohol Rehab Says London Addiction Levels Worst In History

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[ignissa]

So I wanted to get your take on something that's been stuck in my head recently about SU. I've seen a good number of people using the PD's zoo as material for pink being a bad person, but the more I think of the time depictions the more I think this is wrong. I keep thinking of it as a snapshot of how the humans were. Like it was their natural environment but without threats. I think this has interesting ramifications on the timeline, specifically in regards to Pearls hunter gatherer remark

Pt2. People I think humans could have grown to be co-dpendent on Gems before the war. Like that was the start of civilization for them. It could explain how we have this sliding scale of culture being referenced and how gems were shown to have left some icons in the culture behind.            

If you don’t mind, I think I’ll use this ask as an opportunity to also talk a bit more about what the Zoo actually is.

I should start by saying that I do think the Zoo is perfectly consistent with what we know about Pink. She was clearly fascinated by unusual and novel things (just look at how she interacted with Garnet and how it’s implied she interacted with humans), even though she didn’t understand them. Empathy is based in understanding and respect, but Pink clearly lacked the emotional maturity required for both things - she was never a “bad person” but she was definitely immature and motivated by selfish desires. Regardless, her motivations don’t change how good or bad the zoo actually was.

(On a related note, do you know who does apparently have the emotional maturity to understand and empathise with humans?)

So, exactly how “bad” was the Zoo?

When we talk about the issue of “human zoos” it’s worth acknowledging that they were, in the not-so-distant past, a real thing:

This is Ota Benga, a Mbuti man who was put on display in St. Louis (1904) and at the Bronx Zoo Monkey House (1906). He committed suicide due to depression at the age of 32 when it became clear that he would never return to his native Congo.

Apparently, humans don’t take well to captivity, but once you understand their needs, they’re easy to control. - Holly Blue

During her reign on Earth, Pink Diamond stole humans from their families as trophies of her conquest.- Garnet

Oh no. It was very serious. When I still served… Homeworld, I saw it myself. A private menagerie deep in space. Humans in captivity. We were never able to rescue them. We had no way to get to them after the war.- Pearl

It’s fairly heavily implied that, at the Zoo’s conception, the humans housed there were not having a good time, to say the least. Holly Blue’s words imply that there was a time when they didn’t understand the needs of the humans, and as a result the humans were difficult to control. This, however, clearly happened before she arrived, suggesting that it was under Pink’s guidance that conditions in the human zoo improved. That’s not too surprising either, given the fact that the “solution” that was decided on looks suspiciously like the way Pink/Rose herself would infantilise humans. This suggests, to me at least, that the purpose of the zoo evolved as Pink spent more time on Earth.

What was a little vanity project very quickly became a serious undertaking, likely as Pink realised the true implications of colonisation and saw the effect captivity was having on the humans in her care. It would have only taken a few generations for humans to lose their emotional and sentimental ties to home, and humans are exceptionally good at adapting to new environments. Towards the end of her time as a Diamond, Pink probably justified the Zoo as a way of keeping some of humanity safe from the horrors of colonisation and war. I definitely get the feeling that she saw humans as somewhat interchangeable, especially given that Gems seem to view gem types in a similar way. Add to that Pink/Rose’s lack of respect towards humans in general, and it’s not too surprising that she never thought to return the humans to Earth (even after starting the rebellion for the sake of Earth - we know she was living a double life for quite some time at least) until it was far too late. That’s not to say she didn’t regret it.

Garnet describes the humans as “trophies of conquest”, which is very similar to the plight of people like Ota Benga. I’d bet that these original humans suffered with similar bouts of depression and self-destructive (and from a gem perspective unexplainable) behaviour. The comparitive docility of their modern-day counterparts can be explained away as a result of nurture and a lack of selective pressures - the lack of competition (including sexual competition) and absence of risk would naturally remove any evolutionary advantage from things like predispositions towards aggression and violence. Selective breeding via the “choosening” is another explanation.

It could be argued that Garnet wasn’t privy to all of the details of the Zoo, but Pearl certainly was and her own word choice paints a similar image. The word menagerie has some very specific connotations:

The aristocratic menageries are distinguished from the later zoological gardens since they were founded and owned by aristocrats whose intentions were not primarily of scientific and educational interest. These aristocrats wanted to illustrate their power and wealth, because exotic animals, alive and active, were less common, more difficult to acquire, and more expensive to maintain.

The focus on the exotic can even be seen in the humans that were chosen to live in the Zoo:

We see a whole range of skin, hair and eye colours here, as well as variation in height and build. There is a clear suggestion here that humans weren’t just randomly grabbed from a single community, but were specifically selected to be as diverse and exotic as possible (I mean 6000 years ago the genes for blue eyes, pale skin and light hair were fairly new and rare - they would have really needed to go out of their way to find one of every colour, so to speak). Garnet calls the Zoo “insidious”, meaning “proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with very harmful effects". This implies that the humans were gathered over a fairly long period of time, perhaps even continuing after the beginning of the rebellion.

Was humanity dependent on Gem technology?

The most likely answer is no. We have nothing that suggests this was the case. Beyond the Zoo, gems had no reason to interact with humans at all; going by Aquamarine’s reactions gems don’t seem to have any problem considering humans sentient, they simply don’t value sentience to the same extent we do. I think, with the exception of the rebellion, it’s fairly unlikely that gems ever co-operated with humans in any way. Gem technology wouldn’t have ever been particularly valuable to humanity; their materials are useless unless you can learn to replicate them, the only technology that could have helped humans survive would have been light-years away at the Zoo, and even exploring gem-related locations would have been dangerous. Most gem locations are inaccesible to humans and non-gems don’t seem to be able to operate warp pads.

The only gem tech we’ve even seen humans use are the Replicator Wand (used by Onion) and the Warp Whistle (used by Greg). Now you could certainly make the argument that the Warp Whistle was designed for non-gem use and is therefore evidence of co-operation between gems and humans, except we already know that humans were involved in the rebellion so it doesn’t necessarily tell us anything about the situation between humans and Homeworld gems.

We see examples of gem-related iconography in human culture, so I think if there was any part of human culture that was effected by the presence of gems it would be folklore and mythology. Even then, the only concrete hint we get is in the money (which is extra interesting now we know that it likely depicts Steven’s gemstone), which could be handwaved as a reference to Rose Quartz and whatever involvement she had with the country’s history.

The state of Human Civilisation

All things considered, 6000 years ago really wasn’t that long ago. Humans had already reached more-or-less the same distribution as modern day (with the exception of a few islands) and plenty of early civilisations had moved beyond the hunter-gatherer lifestyle and on to agriculture and organised society.

The official guide places the start of the gem war 5,500 years ago, so the time period we’re looking at is around 3500 BC. The state of human society at the time depends pretty heavily on where you look in the world. For example Mesopotamia (modern day Iraq) had already been fairly advanced for about half a century at that point; they had basic writing, mathematics, civil law, knowledge of various sciences (astronomy, hydrology), boats, pottery, the wheel… They were also just entering into the bronze age. The native American inhabitants of the Delmarva Peninsula (presumably the closest real-world equivalent to the area around Beach City), as well as the Koreans, on the other hand, did not generally practice agriculture, didn’t yet create pottery, had no written language (and would continue to not write for several thousand years after that), and lived as hunter-gatherers and nomads.

Indeed, it is a possibility that the gem presence on Earth either accelerated or set back human development, but there are simpler explanations. It’s likely that the hunter-gatherers Pearl refers to are the aforementioned native American and Korean tribes. In any case hunter-gatherers exist to this day in small pockets. Besides, we don’t actually know when Gems first arrived on Earth (and it can be assumed that Pearl was among the first) - Gemkind could have easily had run-ins with humans at much earlier dates, via scouts for example. Things like writing, mathematics, law, science, etc. were developed independently by many different civilisations, so even if one group was set back by dependency, others simply would have eclipsed them in technological development.

[fictionfromafar]

The Untameable by Guillermo Arriaga

The Untameable

By Guillermo Arriaga

Translated by Frank Wynne & Jesse Mendez Sayer

MacLehose Press, Quercus

Guillermo Arriaga is a Mexican author, screenwriter, director and producer whose previous books have been translated into 18 languages. I awaited the release of The Untameable with high anticipation as it is Arriaga's first novel since he rose to prominence as a screenwriter on the Oscar nominated Babel, 21 Grams and the BAFTA winning Amores Perros. Seeing the latter movie upon its release really was my first insight into Mexican life; the clever interplay between three different story lines which are brought together by a car crash remained very vivid for me. By chance I actually re-watched Amores Perros shortly before hearing of this book.

The Untameable is an epic read which clocks in at just over 700 pages and alternates between two storylines. The primary focus is upon teenager Juan Guillermo who lives within one of the lower middle class barrios of Mexico City in the 1960s. The second is the tale of an Inuktitut hunter named Amaruq who starts tracking a wolf in Yukon in the far north west of Canada in an initially undeterminable time. The book also features a series of short passages relating to various historic events and folk stories from around the world the purpose of which later become clear to the reader.

The English translation of The Untameable has been completed primarily by esteemed translator Frank Wynne who has translated many outstanding works from Spanish and French. These include The Blue Hour by Alonso Cueto (shortlisted for the 2013 Oxford-Weidenfeld Translation Prize), The Siege by Arturo Pérez-Reverte and all translated titles by Pierre Lamaitre. As is the case for those novels the translation is flawless and the language always fresh. Arriaga’s talants as a screen writer enhance his storytelling which is vividly told, leaving a very strong impression of the key characters and their surroundings

Juan is the first person narrator of his part of the story and we join him at the age of 13 during a hot Mexican summer living at home with his family. This consists of his parents, grandmother, elder brother of 6 years Carlos and their pets, a brindle boxer called King and their Australian parakeets Whisky and Vodka. No sooner do we have a chance to visualise his family setting, than we are ominously informed that he will the only one to remain alive over the next 4 years. Tragically the first to go will be Carlos who we learn will be murdered.

The Untameable is marketed as a coming of age novel which is partly true but it is also so much more. There is an obvious crime, in fact multiple crimes, it’s part a historic novel, part romance and it’s also a tale of long awaited revenge. From the storylines in Yukon it is also a travel adventure. Little wonder that renowned Colombian writer Santiago Gamboa calls The Untameable one of the best books he has read. Juan’s story is always absorbing as it builds to the details that scarred him most, his desire for retribution and atone for his own regrets while the story from Yukon gradually evolves bringing new components to the book which only link at the conclusion.

Juan tells us his story on a mainly reflective basis. We learn how his life was saved through blood transfusions and about his experiences at a private school which his parents could barely pay for. An early injustice he faced is when he is expelled yet a wealthier child is not. It is just the start of an examination of the inequality and misfortune that will tarnish the experiences of Juan and the lives of his family. His older brother Carlos is the most enterprising family member in tough economic conditions. Having received a chinchilla as a birthday present starts to breed them for their fur. There could be scenes that some readers may find upsetting in respect of the treatment of the chinchillas and local stray cats, also in Canada where some animals are trapped. However I would state that these are not intentionally graphic. I interpret these being shown as part of methods to develop and preserve the protagonists livelihood rather than to needlessly harm. The brothers have refused requests to put their dog into dog fighting for financial gain so there are no scenes like viewers may recall from in Amores Perros.

A lot of the interaction with neighbours comes from the boys moving from rooftop to rooftop. While Juan and many of the other local boys were raised without a strong religious faith, another group known as “The Good Boys” follow their twisted interpretation of the bible. Led by Humberto they try to recruit other younger boys and preach to Juan and his friends for a while. Our narrator realises the contradictory nature of their beliefs:

"On the one hand everything that happened was the result of Divine Will: “God willed it so” on the other hand the Devil was lurking everywhere, waiting for the opportunity to tempt Man and lead him from the path of righteousness.”

Effectively this group are “an army in training”, fundamentalists who with the consent of the local priest dispatch punishment to those who are Jewish, Communist or are believed to carry out immoral behaviours such as homosexuality. They attempt to draw Juan and his friends into what is effectively a clandestine death squad. Juan is in denial of their true harm at first as he is far more interested in his discoveries of William Faulkner, Jimi Hendrix and his first regular sexual experiences.

We also learn of the corrupt policeman Zurita. The captain is more concerned with getting a cut from illegal activities than stopping them. As Carlos’ businesses expands into other areas and he continually refuses to cooperate with Zurita, his enterprise eventually makes him a target for The Good Boys. Before we learning of the events that are to unfold Juan uses biblical images to describe how his life is about to change: “then came the plaque of destruction, and the locusts of death devoured everything in their path.”

While Carlos is trying to keep ahead of his enemies by monitoring unknown cars and finding regular hiding places, there is also a battle of wits on the Canadian tundra between Amaruq and a giant grey wolf he calls Nujuaqtutuq. The beast is luring him further northwards where the chances of both finding food are slimmer. Amaruq is under a belief this particular animal is one his grandfather warned him about:

"Of all the wolves you will see in your life, one alone will be your master.”

The descriptions of the landscape in the Canadian scenes are as detailed of those in Mexico City so that you can virtually visualize them. This is a key feature of this book, the details of the settings are always vividly relayed without detracting from the narrative of the story.

The strength of the characterisations particularly mark this book for distinction. Juan sustains our support as the main protagonist throughout his troubles. His grief for the accumulated loss of family members is palpable and his reactions feel realistic. There are very lifelike stumbling blocks at the start of his romance with the once promiscuous Chelo as they borh try to adapt to the terrible circumstances that life has thrown at him. He receives a sympathetic role model after meeting Alives as they both belong to the “community of orphans.” Juan is protective of the family pets and even adopts the fearsome Colmillo who could not be tamed by his owners. Humberto is almost Juan’s polar opposite but there is enough given about his own background to develop him as a convincing character. In this barrio in late 1960s Mexico City it is those that portray themselves as good are those who carry out the most evil of acts. We see Juan wrestles with his conscience and desire for a settled life with Chelo against his determination to exact revenge; knowing that there will be consequences for him. He would be breaking an unwritten rule: “victims could not be aggressors, and if they did, they were declaring war.”

The Untameable is an exceptional novel. It addresses sudden bereavements and attempts at reconciling these during adolescence, it tackles themes of societal inequality and corruption, the complete lack of morality in some locally organised religious groups and more widely the concept of vengeance. It is a fascinating tale with contrasting textures, writing styles and literary references. Its length should not be a deterrence due to the multiple storylines, timeframes and themes within the story. If any of these intrigue you then I would urge you to read The Untameable. Ultimately this is a captivating chronical of one brave boy’s struggles against almost unsurmountable challenges which will hook you in, immerse and captivate you right until the end.

[thissurroundingall]

Lisaboa Houbrechts

Scared yet generous.    

Dutch translation

Date of interview: October 11, 2018

Estimated reading time: 18 minutes

Behind the doors of Toneelhuis’ attic rehearsal room, one can hear a horrifying screeching. We lunge right into the fourth act of the Hamlet-adaptation of Lisaboa Houbrechts (°1992, Zonhoven) and her company Kuiperskaai, rehearsing for their premiere later that week. Hamlet (Victor Lauwers) plants a knife in his real life mother's (Grace Ellen Barkey) crotch, while Polonius emerges from under her skirts. Mythic and ambiguous images often overlap in the work of Lisaboa and Kuiperskaai. “Alright, we stop here!” Lisaboa looks at her companions, as if she is witnessing them sacrificing every vessel in their body in honour of the performing arts for the first time.  

The same luscious passion for theatre is central to our conversation a few weeks post-premier. With an enormous enthusiasm, she always circles back to her reading of Shakespeare and Hamlet, to the importance of dialogue between layers of time. Lisaboa settled for a longer time in the eponymous location in Ghent with Kuiperskaai, but decided to make the move to Brussels almost a year and a half ago. These days, they are co-housing with Needcompany in MILL, an impressive art deco cigarette factory. Sunlight brightens the rehearsal rooms, ateliers and offices where Lisaboa guides us around, wearing her typical booties. The young company has been fairly busy the last few years. After a series of theater pieces presented at various theater festivals in Belgium and abroad, Lisaboa could now work on the large stage thanks to the P.U.L.S. program (Project for Upcoming Artists for the Large Stage). The desire to break out of the black box though, is also present in MILL, where Oscar van der Put (scenographer) is busy creating pieces for EXPLO when our interview takes place, a two-day event presenting performances, an exhibition and films. Jack-of-all-trades they seem, but Lisaboa prefers not to use the word multidisciplinary. “This is most importantly an open space where things can come together.”

Toneelhuis/Lisaboa  

Kuiperskaai 

The legendary space where Kuiperskaai lived and worked has been etched in the memory of the Ghentian theatre scene. How do you look back upon the move to Brussels now? How has it influenced your work?  

The battle has become more real. It definitely had an impact, although it wasn’t a conscious choice. Kuiperskaai was sort of a cocoon, also because Ghent as a city is more compact. You know everyone and suddenly there’s an incrowd. In Brussels, you get confronted with a totally different city, much more complex and chaotic.  

We (Victor, Romy, Oscar and Lisaboa) don’t live together anymore here in Brussels. I meet the others in a different way now. We have become more individual. The constant balancing on the border between life and art was exciting; everyone was intrigued. It almost turned into a phenomenon that one couldn’t grasp: what are these people doing there together? In the beginning, we lived in tents in this open space, then we decided to paint them and it turned into an exposition. Those elements ended up in our theatre work. Everything was very fluid, also the border between each other’s artistic practices. Now we find ourselves in a different phase, where you have to rely on yourself much more. What I want to say with my work has become a lot more personal because of that. In Ghent it was more about the collective.  

So you don’t really miss it?  

I thought I would find it much more difficult. Kuiperskaai is where our anchor lies. Starting Kuiperskaai was the only way to believe in what I do. It takes some guts to think you can put your work on a stage, show something that people will want to see. That could only happen because the four of us trusted each other. Now that we are anchored, it’s about finding the relevance of what we want to continue.  

In the past, the house was the artwork.  

Do you live in a stuffed apartment then, or is it more minimal now?  

No, my apartment at the moment is really just a place to sleep. In the past, the house was the artwork. That’s why the encounter is even clearer in the performances now, also in everyone’s personal artistic practice. The entire universe that Kuiperskaai was, now maybe resides in one artwork of Oscar (van der Put, visual artist). It’s a past that we carry with us, that resonates in our work. The chaos of life, of living together, that’s over.

How did you end up in the theatre scene?  

I grew up in Limburg, between Kiewit and Zonhoven, in a very green environment. My childhood was mostly spent in the forest. I wanted to work on a farm when I was younger (laughs). That was a special time, very much like a fairytale. At the same time, I noticed the narrow-mindedness of a village, the claustrophobia and tangle of trauma within a family.

When I was twelve, we moved to Hasselt and I started art school. I was playing theatre already, but I mostly made dance-based pieces together with Georges Ocloo. We always received very extreme reactions. When we were dancing in our underwear, everyone was only talking about that pair of knickers. I felt the need to escape that as quickly as possible, to move somewhere else. Ghent was the best option. I wanted to play, channel my emotions through acting, so I could comfort myself and others. Only later during the KASK training, I realized that I possessed a certain imagination beyond my own body, which I could work with. The endlessness of possible expressions wasn’t to be found in my own body. I was much more focused on bringing people together. Quitting performing myself was an important decision.  

So actually, dance was the starting point for you, movement?  

Even before I created De Schepping (2013), I made Mother is a Mountain, a movement piece about transgender figures in the Old Testament and Greek myths, together with Dounia Mahammed. After that, I felt I needed a text to work with. From there, I went to staging Shakespeare and other repertoire. After a while though, the structure becomes so compelling that now, after working on Hamlet, I feel like I want to do it differently and no longer be a slave to chronology and narrativity.  

Is your work a personal take on what is currently happening in the #metoo-debate?  

I have been developing reflections on the position of the woman in history in my work for a longer time already. The previous piece 1095 is a portrait of two women left behind by crusaders during the 11th century. With Hamlet I wanted to talk about the almost wordless mother Gertrude, played by the endearing Grace Ellen Barkey. I asked Grace to defend Gertrude and rewrote the piece based on that. Of course you get sucked into the debate then. Although I explicitly highlight the relation between Hamlet and the women in his life, it doesn’t originate from #metoo. Hamlet leans against the discussion about the representation of the woman figure in repertoire of course, but is not about that. The #metoo-debate luckily has a huge impact on the cultural scene. I think it’s absolutely essential, but I don’t necessarily feel the need to make a concrete statement in my work. I try to solve it in my own poetics, within the poetry of theatre language.  

I try to solve it in my own poetics, within the poetry of theatre language.

You constantly go back to a faraway past, but do more recent time segments also intrigue you? I’m always reminded of a certain seventies glamrock vibe when I see your creations.  

Yeah, that also occurred to me, that we always go back pretty far in time… The last thing you see in Hamlet though, is a queer version of Fortinbras wearing sunglasses, like a new ruler of these times. Those are the new powers, the Mark Zuckerbergs. But we never started from something contemporary indeed. Nevertheless I found it incredibly important to introduce Hamlet totally in pink as a queer symbol, also as a poetic statement. I have the feeling that I am very much grounded within this day and age. I am fascinated by history and repertoire. Those things are very inspiring to me in appearance. Dealing with that always implies some sort of nostalgia. Nostalgia is not immediately a negative word. Nostalgia is about losing yourself in details. It’s about a sort of ritual deed. You dive into that detail and stumble upon the overarching idea that humankind throughout history has always been caught up in a chain of passions.  

So you don’t see nostalgia as a lack of something?  

No. Yesterday I saw William Forsythe’s A Quiet Evening of Dance and that thought became very clear for me in that piece. What he does is letting a talented break-dancer dance on 17th-century music. A sublime poem. It’s about tearing two types of métier. Those breakdance moves flow seamlessly into Forsythe’s typical language of movement, but also 17th-century court ballet and Beyoncé. Through this friction between layers of time, a crack, an in-between time comes into existence. A fascination for the past, which is nostalgia, leads towards a form of timelessness. It doesn’t hinder the timeless.  

A fascination for the past, which is nostalgia, doesn’t hinder the timeless.  

In between your last two plays, you also assisted Alain Platel with Requiem pour L. How did that go?  

Through working with les Ballets C de la B I got in touch with a different kind of theatre. I ended up in situations where I wouldn’t have that quickly with Kuiperskaai. Moving to Brussels also played a role within this. Precisely because you are on your own here, having to rely on yourself, you are able to feel the warmth of the moment and you are open to other influences. Other artists’ practices make me reflect about my own work. Thinking together with Alain about the cocoon of the Western theatre tradition was a very liberating experience.

But I also discovered Brussels again together with the fantastic performers from Requiem, who took me to parties in the Matonge quarter, where you wouldn’t end up yourself. Or you would find yourself having plantain fufu with fourteen in a tiny hotel room on tour in Berlin. Those are interesting pathways of awareness to explore.  

Last time we met during the last week before the premiere. But what does a standard creation day look like for you?  

During such a period of extreme rehearsal, nearing the premiere, we start around ten and work all day until seven. After the rehearsal I am alone and prepare for the next day. Now whilst developing a new creation, I try to follow my own rhythm as much as possible, shut myself off for everyone to dive into books and write. 

How do you relax? Do you need to turn everything off sometimes?  

That makes me a little uneasy, when everything stops. Too many questions pop up in my head. I struggle with it, also now after premiering Hamlet. You have been focusing for so long on something. Who am I? What do I feel? What I feel has a lot to do with what I love. (silence) And I love a lot. Not only theatre. Art has not always been a part of my life, so I’m already incredibly happy that I can believe in theatre, in art. Going to see a good performance is total relaxation for me, but at the same time it gets me in the mood for work again.  

How do you identify with words that appear in reviews of your work: baroque, wanton, epic? Does that speak to you?  

I find those words very broad terms most of the time. The first negative feedback I ever got was “It’s a little too baroque.” I’ve never really understood that. I also don’t think that our last piece is still a very baroque creation. Refinement is important for me.  

Look: I absolutely love the people I collaborate with. And those people are a lot. Shakespeare carries a lot of weight as well. I try to bring all of this together into what I love myself. Sometimes it seems like we don’t know any fear, because we make generous gestures towards the people we work with. Of course we are scared, but everything is thought-through; it’s never anything goes. Métier is very often neurosis and obsession. I’m very obsessively occupied with detail. Maybe I should watch out with that. It might be in that clash that a language arises that the audience experiences as very excessive. Sometimes I need to lose grip, let something be imperfect. That only emphasizes the idea of perfection. This gesture of colouring one side half and the other side totally, passes through as baroque I guess.  

Sometimes it seems like we don’t know any fear, because we make generous gestures towards the people we work with. Of course we are scared. But it’s never ‘anything goes’.  

And does it resonate as well with Lisaboa as a person?  

I’ve been struggling with it for a long time, with the idea of being too much, too baroque. After some time I decided to embrace it. Everyone just kept saying it. Nowadays I go to a museum, sit in front of a Rubens and think: well, actually it ain’t that bad. If it’s that, then it’s that. I can take it as an inspiration, leave the criticism aside. I recognize the extravagance in myself. But everyone is baroque I think, everyone is a lot. An inscrutable world of feelings resides inside everyone. It’s all about perfecting and making consequent what you bring into your work of that. That’s something you develop over the years.

Nowadays I go to a museum, sit in front of a Rubens and think: well, actually it ain’t that bad. 

A statement of yours that I will always remember, is “Pulling history through your own body.” What do you mean by that ?

That sentence was originally a stage direction, something very concrete. It was an exercise during rehearsals, when we wanted to evoke the year 1095. I asked a performer to literally appear out of the mud of the past centuries to tell her story. That’s how we ended up with this particular primal scream at the beginning of the play. It became something bigger in the end. You have to pull history through your own body and see what’s left concerning your own time. It’s about becoming aware of your own gaze. Political events like crusades determine our intimate experiences of love, fear, religion, self-reflection… The political always imposes itself on the intimate. By making something so ‘tiny’, you pull history also through yourself. You need to examine the frame through which you show the historical.  

Ophelia in Hamlet is an old-fashioned ideal of a woman who doesn’t really exist. The girl only lives because of her father. Romy struggled a lot with that and how she was supposed to play her. We took her gaze on the problematic position of Ophelia into the play, without having to introduce a meta moment. A lot of repertoire theatre is ironical or meta, a method to step out of the story and make it ridiculous or irrelevant. Why would you continue then? I wanted to stay in the anecdote. I am in love with Hamlet and his battle. I don’t think that battle doesn’t exist anymore today. Lucidity is connected to dragging history through your own body, which can lead towards regions of spirituality, from the divine to the frenzied.  

What do you mean by anecdotes actually? And what are bad anecdotes?

  I’ve once made that distinction in an interview indeed, between bad and good anecdotes. I don’t think that’s true anymore. Something anecdotally bad can still say something about a certain time.  

But you don’t see anecdotal as personal?  

No, I see the anecdotal in theatre as specific elements, such as “The shepherd arrives and tells the king he has found a bag full of gold.” These kind of anecdotes in historical texts are not as timeless as one thinks. The fragment about the shepherd still touches upon the fundament of that time though. Working with bad anecdotes would be staging that without obligation, on a filmic level without asking any questions.  

And the anecdote as autobiographical material?  

The autobiographical aspect is absolutely not bad for me. The work of Louise Bourgeois is anecdotal, hyperpersonal, almost perverse but I find it wonderful. She has based her entire oeuvre on a personal drama. She continues to wallow in the same old tragedy - her father cheating on her mother with the nursemaid - but extracts such a diversity of multilayered images from it, about femininity, about the problem she has with masculinity. That is so personal, so microscopically hyperrealistic - it could have been set in Zonhoven.  

Is that also to be found in your work?  

I don’t know if I should answer that. Everyone has secrets of course, secrets I don’t even share with the others. But I find it very inspiring to see how an artist like Bourgeois turns a secret into a myth.  

The mixing of dialects is a recurring characteristic in the last plays. Do you have a specific fascination for language, or is it a specific kind of humour?  

Both I guess. The first time I read Shakespeare, I noticed something about the language. He has innovated language, his work lies between the old and new English. That intrigued me: how can an in-between language generate a new language? Besides that I also link it to the comical aspect of Shakespeare. The slang used in the shepherds’s scene in The Winter’s Tale is Shakespeare’s commentary on the Scottish domination after Elisabeth’s death. The more I estranged the text, the more incomprehensible and better it became. Language became image. Also the universe of Pieter Bruegel de Oude, which I’m working on right now, knows a similar atmosphere: what is Old Dutch actually? It’s a way to think about the weight of language in our work.  

What kind of reactions did you get abroad?  

We played 1095 in Poznan at Malta Festival. The festival, one of the biggest in central Europe, fought against the far-right government. The play resonated a lot with the audience and got received with loud cheers. In a very conservative climate, such an extreme play has an enormous effect: Seppe Decubber who plays a right-wing fundamentalist, as a homosexual man, two women kissing with each other, monks dancing around naked… Those contemporary references in combination with fragments of history make up an explosive totality, which obviously generates reaction. According to me, fiction as a way to deal with history can be a political statement. It doesn’t always have to be a lecture. 1095 is not a totally vacuum world and those reactions abroad prove that.  

Fiction as a way to deal with history can be a political statement. It doesn’t always have to be a lecture.

You emphasize the importance of the visual for Kuiperskaai. Where do you draw inspiration from?  

At the moment, there is a lot of Bruegel on my table, in preparation for the new piece, but also van der Weyden. Artists who mean a lot to me are Pierre Huyghe, Jimmie Durham, Pascale Marthine Tayou, Apichatpong Weersathakul, etc. It’s very diverse, I also like installation art. So on the one hand very classical works, but also contemporary work.  

I inherited the fascination for film from my father. He collects movies, his collection is a real gem. Andrej Tarkovski has left a deep impression on me when I was a teenager, but equally more contemporary work: Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Béla Tarr, Kim-Ki Duk or Fien Troch. I like rough, ritual and silent work. Also seeing classics like Fellini, Bergman, Teshigahara and Lang has formed me. Early cinema had to work very installative to generate effect. Fellini taped together black garbage bags to evoke a sea in Casanova. Having the pretense to think you can still tell a story with that poetical, clumsy approach, I find very beautiful.  

Where do you position yourself in this oversaturated visual and theatre culture?

Interesting question. We have indeed seen everything already in the performing arts scene; the biggest revelations, the most refined universes. How do you relate to that? I don’t know. That’s one of the reasons why it stops for me sometimes. I don’t know a lot of young makers who still want to tell that kind of great stories; it’s almost immoral to still defend that. I find that quite exciting. What bursting out of the academy and meeting Kuiperskaai has taught me is to embrace everything in the generosity life offers you. I try to be critical for tradition, but I also don’t want the critique to block me. I want to create something from the interaction between those two.

What bursting out of the academy and meeting Kuiperskaai has taught me is to embrace everything in the generosity life offers you.  

And what about social media?  

Our work generates a lot of reaction because of slowness. We are looking for the elasticity of time. That’s something I notice when schools come to see our plays. When I’m asked to write a text for theatre, they tell me how young people would have a much shorter attention span because of social media. Everything needs to be captured in short terms. We confront the audience with very contemplative images. Contemplation demands time. Opposed to those flashy images on social media, I want to create a world where you can dive into yourself. That’s where contemplation and ambiguity are connected. Maybe that’s also why for me it’s difficult to uplift ambiguity in favour of an explicitly political discourse.  

Making a sort of total art, a Gesamtkunstwerk as you wish, has that always been a goal of yours?  

It’s more about the urge to work together with various types of artists. Even before I met the other people at Kuiperskaai, I tried to bring people from different backgrounds into my work. I’ve always been looking for a kind of impossibility. The first impulse ever was working with different media. I would never call it combining media anymore, because that doesn’t even begin to cover it. Multidisciplinary is a term I don’t believe in, an ugly word.

I’ve always been looking for a kind of impossibility.

Can you think of a different word?  

Something with the word inter-… It’s still very difficult. Multidisciplinary is a little bit too much anything goes. There needs to be an essence to it, where everything is bound together already. The expression has just shattered into various manifestations. Those are one altogether. It’s not simply about adding something.  

What’s the role of theory in your work?  

Theory is about being emotionally attracted by a historical topic for me. Hamlet is a gold mine in this respect. It makes me reflect about a complex character in a mythical world on the one hand and the historical and contemporary world on the other.  

Theory or repertoire opens itself to me as a huge archive. I like to dive into it. Some have problems with the fact that Erwin Jans gives me advice, because he’s part of an older generation. That’s just an archive that opens up. You can’t be blind for that archive, because where do you end up then? Theory opens up all those doors to possible interpretations, but as a theatre maker you’re forced to close doors behind you again. If you don’t do that, you don’t get anywhere. Then I would be better off writing an essay instead of creating performances.

Interview and translation: Tessa Vannieuwenhuyze

Photography: Astrid Theunynck

Dutch editor: Britt Sterkens

English editor: Tyche Beyens

Special thanks to Staf Nys & Maxim Ryckaerts

_

[shewassoferal]

okay but from the list of autistic traits I reblogged here 

I’m bolding Jemma (and I’m going to put mine in italic just to confront them for myself because it’s been years that I’ve been side-eyeing this, though in my case there is so much more than that) 

Tends to analyze everything constantly

Often straightforward and practical in nature.

Often gets lost in own thoughts and zones out (may display a blank stare)

May appear naive or innocent (despite not being so)

Prone to honesty, has difficulty lying

May struggle to understand manipulation, disloyalty, vindictive behavior and retaliation.

May be gullible and easily taken advantage of, misled, or conned.

May have feelings of confusion and isolation in relation to others

Escapism frequently used to relax or avoid overwhelming situations.

Often holds fixations, obsessions, and extreme interest in specific topics.

Finds comfort in escaping through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.

Often has slower reaction times due to need for mental processing.

May have had imaginary friends as a child.

Frequently imitates (takes social cues from) people on television or in movies.

May obsessively collect, organize, count, categorize, or rearrange objects.

Often highly adapted to social imitation.

May find math and numbers easier to deal with due to logic and lack of objective answers.

May struggle to relax or rest due to many racing thoughts.

Often has comorbid conditions, such as OCD, anxiety, ADD or ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.

Often has sensory processing disorder (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)

May have dyspraxia (Poor muscle tone, lack of coordination and depth perception)

May have dyslexia

May have an eating disorder or food obsessions

May have been misdiagnosed or diagnosed with other mental illness or possibly labeled a hypochondriac.

Tends to drop small objects

May frequently engage in “stimming” (self-stimulation) i.e., flicks fingernails, flaps hands, drums fingers, rubs hands/fingers, tucks hands under or between legs, clenches fists, twirls hair, taps foot/shakes leg, sways side to side, spins in circles, bouncing up and down, rocking, etc.

May use various noises to express herself rather than using words.

May have a tendency to over-share with friends and sometimes strangers

May have little impulse control when speaking

May accidently dominate conversation at times.

Often relates discussion back to self (sharing as a means of reaching out)

May be incorrectly seen as narcissistic

Often sounds eager or over-zealous at times.

May feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”

Often struggles with and is confused by the unwritten social rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.

Eye contact often takes extreme focus, which may lead an individual’s eye contact to be darting and insufficient, or over-the-top staring/glaring.

May have difficulty regulating voice volume to different situations. Is frequently observed as being either too loud or too quiet.

Conversation, specifically small talk, can be exhausting.

May have trouble focusing on/engaging in conversation that is not centered on one’s primary interests.

May observe and question the actions and behaviors of self and others continually.

May have difficulty with back-and-forth conversation

Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.

Visualizes and practices how she will act around others and before entering various social situations.

Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.

Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.

Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others.

As a child, it may have been hard to know when it was her turn to talk, may still be true as an adult.

Often finds the norms of conversation confusing.

Tend to say what they mean. Are often brutally honest, coming off as rude when they do not mean to be.

May feel misunderstood and tend to over-explain/ramble in an attempt to compensate for possible miscommunication.

Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.

Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.

Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.

The steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about.

Must prepare herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.

Question next steps and movements continually.

Often needs a large amount of down time or alone time.

May feel extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, or dressing rooms.

Tends to dislike being in crowded areas.

Difficulty sleeping due to sensitivity to environment

May be highly intuitive to others’ feelings, although may not appear to react to them ‘correctly’ in social situations

May take criticism and judgement very personally

May frequently adapt her viewpoints or actions based on others’ opinions

Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.

May have had a desire to collect or rescue animals, usually in childhood.

Often holds great compassion for suffering.

May try to help, offer unsolicited advice, or formalize plans of action.

Imitates others without realizing.

May exhibit codependent behaviors.

May frequently reject or question social norms.

Chameleon-like in social situations. Often switches preferences and behaviours based on environment and other people.

May outwardly appear to have little investment in hygiene, clothes, or appearance, often prefers fast and easy methods of style.

Clothing style is likely more focused on comfort and practicality, especially in the case of sensory issues.

May possess a youthful appearance and/or voice.

May have trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces).

The emotions of oneself and others may seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable.

Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest.

Often speaks frankly and literally.

Certain kinds of humor, such as sarcasm and metaphors, may be difficult to understand.

Can be confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray.

Often has trouble identifying feelings in others unless they are extreme.

Trouble with the emotions of hate and dislike.

May have feelings of pity for someone who has persecuted/hurt her.

Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.

The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood. (All or nothing mentality).

May notices patterns frequently.

May be fascinated by words or song lyrics.

Tends to best remember/learn things in visual pictures (visual thinkers).

May have a remarkable memory for certain details, i.e., may find it surprisingly easy to remembers exact details about someone’s life.

Executive function is often a challenge

Learning to ride a bike or drive a car may be rather difficult.

Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.

The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.

May have a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.

May frequently second-guess oneself and ask a lot of questions before engaging a task or situation

(It was pointed out to me that feeling okay spending two months straight in my room surrounded by my fixations and finding extra tiring to engage in conversations with friends outside of those fixations isn’t exactly normal. I’m happy to be on my own but I’m too happy? one day I’m going to have money and find a therapist specialized in this. Not to mention how my diseases like celiac and food intolerance and maybe leaky gut are often connected to this too)

[tony-dnd-adventure-logs]

Grimm Hellmaw’s Adventure Logs - Grimm’s Backstory

Hello friend,

    My name is Grimm Hellmaw, and after recent experiences, a friend I hold dear to me suggested I document my experiences in case... well... I don’t get up from the next beating I take.  I take a lot of risks when fighting alongside my friends, and let’s just say that my recklessness has my girl worried about me not coming back to her.  That story will come, of course, but I figure I should start from the beginning so y’all can get to know me more, and I get to reflect on some of the highlights of my recklessness for posterity’s sake.

    I don’t have a lot of memories from my early days.  My mother was the streets of Glimmer’s Grove, and my father was the constant hunger I had to fight day in and day out.  There aren’t any specific memories that stick out, but there’s this general feeling of despair that comes up when I try to think back on my childhood.  People were awful.  Whether it was me being a dreg of society, me being a half-orc, or me being a sore sight for the eyes of the bourgeois of the city, I never had any favorable interactions with the townsfolk of Glimmer’s Grove.  It’s alright, though.  Even if these people didn’t think I would amount to much, I wanted to prove them wrong with selflessness and my earnest smile.  I wanted to be able to protect and win over the very people that wouldn’t think twice about a useless street urchin such as me.  The people of Glimmer’s Grove may not deserve me, but I want to be THE example of that old saying “don’t judge a book by its cover.”

    In my young adult days, I ran into a man that changed my life.  Tibalt Grey would normally be looked upon as an unassuming man, but if you got a good look at him, you would see this wild, yet contained look in his eyes.  This offputting observance aside, he was one of the kindest souls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life.  He saw me in my tattered clothing, but was one of the first people to approach me and treat me like something more than the dirt beneath his boots.  I don’t know what made him so comfortable with me, but he started talking to me about how he’s the last living member of the Grey Syndicate, a crime family that I had only heard stories of in the deepest, darkest alleyways of Glimmer’s Grove.  I would see some of the toughest, battle-worn men cower at the mention of this group, and I would see some of the seediest, nastiest criminals speak of them fondly.  While public reactions varied, there was a consensus that they would land on: the Grey Syndicate is not what it used to be.  Talking with Grey, it couldn’t be any more obvious.  He was a warm, gentle heart that was willing to talk openly with a social pariah such as myself, and take genuine interest in me.  

He asked me about life, what my dreams are, and he also enjoyed interjecting with an odd fact or two about ghosts.  I’m normally a guarded person, so while I tried to resist as well as I could, he ended up prying out of me my dream of protecting the people that would sooner spit at my existence than treat me as the living being that I am.  Upon hearing that, he started to talk about how he wanted to right the wrongs his family committed during the height of the Grey Syndicate’s rule on the shadows of Glimmer’s Grove, and since he could see a similar light and fervor in me, he wanted to take me in and provide me with room and board at the cost of going through some special training to assist him in his path of redemption.

I have to be completely honest, I didn’t even think about what that training would entail.  After living on the streets for all my life, I would have given up everything for a roof over my head, and regular meals.  Little did I know at the time, Grey’s well-intentioned training would send me through literal hell.

Old man Grey’s fascination with ghosts stems from the training that he has been through.  His family, while a successful crime syndicate, was also a long line of Blood Hunters that specialized in all things ghosts.  You wouldn’t believe how he spent his free time.  He’d take me to the sick wards of Glimmer’s Grove, help tend to the people there, offering up all kinds of money, goods and relief that he could to the healthier people, and observe the soon to be extinguished lives of the sick and elderly.  I’ve been numb to death since I would see it on the streets regularly, but the kind of death you see in these wards is different.  Lives being claimed early by disease, elderly people that say they’ve experienced all that life has to give, but have that dread and and a look of yearning in their eyes, it’s sick, really.  Death on the streets equates to either falling down on your luck, or crossing paths with the wrong person.  The people in these sick wards, for one reason or another, are dying too soon, and have no control over when and how they die.

Alongside the regular trips to the sick wards, Grey taught me a lot of what I needed to know to become a Blood Hunter.  He taught me how to fight, and about all the different kinds of Blood Hunters that walk the earth.  I’ve always been a quick and adaptable learner, since I’ve needed to think on my feet to survive.  He was pleasantly surprised with my progress, and I quickly became established enough to start to figure out what direction I would take in my path of the Hunter.  I abhorred the trips to the sick ward, and while I was pretty decent with my alchemic studies, I figured if I wanted to truly deal with the evils I will face, I needed to become what I hate the most.

I spent days on end researching the fiends of the world.  Grey, knowing I will not be following the same path he and his family have been following for generations, let me stay home on his trips to the sick wards, letting me have free reign of his library.  I tore through those books, trying to find a worthy source for my new powers, and upon reading one of the last untouched books in his library, I came across one of the Lords of Hell, Belial.  It’s amazing, really.  One of the Lords of Hell, whose name stems from the word “worthlessness”, came to me in one of the last books I haven’t read.  The Lord of Pain, causing me pain by taking so damn long to even reveal himself to me.  It was a match made in, I want to say heaven, but really, hell.  

To create this pact with Belial, I needed Grey’s help.  When I approached him with this, he was reluctant at first, but knowing I wouldn’t be able to realize my full potential, he assisted me with reaching out to Belial.  He led me to a void of space, where I called out to Belial.  It was a surreal experience, communicating with one of the Lords of Hell.  He was amused in finding a surly half-orc, looking nothing like others that seek pacts with him, commanding his attention.  Off of amusement with this, and a rather graphic comment on my… erm… appearance, he wanted to hear what I had to say.  Knowing that he is the Lord of pain and suffering, I spun a tale about how I come from nothing, knowing nothing but the pain and suffering of the streets I raised myself on, and I mixed in a lie about how I wanted to cause this same kind of suffering to the people that ignored the streets.  Upon hearing that lie, Belial went from being amused to upset in a blink of an eye.  He saw through that lie and chastised me for my arrogance.  That aside, he decided that he didn’t care what I would use his powers for.  He agreed to the pact, but there was an additional cost that came with it.  He gave me an insatiable lust, and demanded that I feel the pain that I cause, condemning me to only use blunt weaponry as my rites for calling his powers.  With my pact complete, Grey and I went back to the mansion to continue my training.

Grey went into uncharted territory as he helped me train with my newfound abilities.  He’s known a couple Blood Hunters that cross into Warlock territory, but he didn’t really know what to do with me.  He did the best he could with the resources he had, but I had to do a lot of self study to catch myself up to speed on this whole Warlock business.  Grey’s library had a few books on the subject, but I had to take to the streets again to find some local clerics of Belial to help me understand what I’m capable of.  They were a lot easier to convince than Belial, of course, so they helped me hone my newfound abilities, and… well… quench a certain thirst that has started to eat at my conscience.

Once I had a better handle on my abilities, and my newfound drive to bump uglies with just about anyone I came across, Grey started getting me in contact with various groups around Glimmer’s Grove to start hunting some of the local evils.  I’m not one to brag, but my adaptability and desire to learn helped me excel with these groups, leading to even taking down a manticore with Elena, an Aasimar that’s not only kickass with a blade, but someone I’m still adventuring with today.  There will be more on that coming up, but there’s still a bit more I need to wrap up here before I get this journal caught up to the present day.

One night, after coming home from another successful hunt, I came home to the Grey estate, noticing that something felt off.  Old man Grey normally greets me on my return, but I walked in to a quiet mansion.  I immediately ripped through the mansion, trying to find Grey.  Outside of the difference in my welcome home, he’s not normally a quiet guy.  He likes to read aloud, and he’s got a rather noisy way of existence that wasn’t present that night.  After looking for an hour, I found him collapsed in the library, clutching at his chest.  I’ve seen and now caused a lot of death in my life, so I knew he was knocking on death’s door, but a mass genocide of the world as I know it wouldn’t have prepared me for what I was about to experience. 

I immediately elevated his upper body and tried to get him talking and normalized, but there wasn’t anything I could do for him.  I tried to talk to him about my hunt that night, and keep the conversation light, but I think Grey could tell that I was starting to get frantic and shushed me.  He told me that he didn’t have much time left, and was upset that he wasn’t able to see me through my full training, but that he had an old friend at the Adventurer’s Academy that would be able to help me continue my training.  With that being said, he said that he was thankful that I was in his life, and passed in my arms. 

I was absolutely torn up with Grey’s passing.  I thought I’ve had to deal with a lot of pain and suffering in my life, but having one of the only people I care about passing in my arms tore me apart.  I swear I could feel Belial smiling at the misfortune I experienced that night.  I’ll spare you the details on my grieving, since it was an ugly experience all around, but I’ll tell you that I did promise on his dead body that I would uphold his life’s work, and go tell his friend at the Academy about his passing.

There’s really not much to say about what happened after that.  I donated the Grey estate to the sick wards of Glimmer’s Grove with no intention of coming back to his mansion.  The memories of my life in the estate are painful, even to this day.  When your source of happiness and fulfillment in life is gone, and that’s all you have to remember it by, there’s no reason to keep it around.  I needed to keep myself moving forward, especially since I need to continue Grey’s work, and find his old friend at the Academy.  With no reason to stay in Glimmer’s Grove, I made my way to the Adventurer’s Academy, where I’ve caught myself in a whole, new mess.

I’m getting tired, so I think I’m going to keep it at this, for now.  Stephanie is knocking at my door now, and I would like to spend some time with her after getting my ass handed to me today.  Oh yeah, I guess I should clarify: Stephanie Nitro is the girl, and the friend I mentioned previously.  I don’t know who the hell is going to stumble across these logs, and even though I know who she is, if these logs end up in someone’s hands, they should at least know what’s going on.  I could write about her for days, honestly, but I’ll save my gushing for a later entry in this journal.  Also, about that whole “insatiable lust” thing I mentioned earlier, let’s just say that my self control has improved greatly from those days.  Things are sweet with her right now, and even though my loins are feeling something fierce, I want to keep it sweet.  She’s a good girl, and she deserves as much, especially after what my… uh… friends I quess?  After what my friends and I ended up doing to her family.

Once again, more on that later, but for now, I’m going to enjoy a nice evening with my girl.