#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...

[deoidesign]

.

[lolli-popples]

The Missing Link in Scott's Characterization

(Wrote this in a random document and I think it's good so I'm loosely transcribing it here)

These are some of my thoughts on a crucial facet of Scott's character in the Life Series that I think is overlooked by the fandom.

From my personal viewpoint, people put a lot of emphasis on Scott's caring about his allies over everything else. I think this is an important characteristic. However, I think this being shown as the most central trait is a detriment to how people read his involvement with the overarching narrative. It might be less of a problem if he wasn't directly involved with the final fight of nearly every Life Series.

Because of this combination of things, his main interaction with fans' reading of the final fight is being willing to do anything to make sure his friends win. It gives people the tendency to attribute some victories partially to him, which upsets people who want main read of the story to focus entirely on the winner. But this also has meant that one of Scott's main traits is overlooked.

Just as much, and often, more than Scott values his allies, he values fairness. To showcase this, let's look at Limited and Last Life, where he had the most control on how the final fight took place.

In Last Life, when it's down to the final four, Scott *could* have teamed up with Pearl, his ally all season, to kill Martyn and Ren. That aligns with wanting either your or your allies to win, no? But he doesn't. He suggests they split to the 4 corners of the map and have a fair fight on equal footing. Very fair.

With Limited Life it's even more apparent. Scott and Martyn have an impressive amount of time. They could both still die multiple times. Impulse is running out, and there's a numbers advantage. They could have killed Impulse and Scott could have let Martyn win, or Scott could have given Martyn his time to fight Impulse alone. But instead, he suggests they all go down to the same amount and have a fair fight.

In both situations, Scott puts fairness *over* an alliance victory. Even though Limited Life didn't end up ending fairly, that had nothing to do with Scott.

Double Life certainly has the strongest claim on Scott "letting someone win". That his death is an apology for abandoning Pearl.

But if you listen to what Scott says in the finale, he never apologizes. He says he didn't think they'd get this far, he says she deserves this more than him, and then he says the iconic "Tilly death do us part."

Scott didn't fight Pearl. But I don't think it came out of remorse. I think that too, came from a sense of fairness. Which is that Pearl, by all accounts, DOES deserve this win. If they fought it would basically be up to a draw. To chance. Scott has every chance of winning. But if you go over the events of Scott's final episode, he mostly runs. He survives. While Pearl 1v2'd two separate pairs and won! The only reason Pearl hasn't killed Scott already, who has been her enemy all season, is because they were randomly assigned to be soul-linked. A concept Scott has fought since the very beginning. He knows that while he never hurt their chances, Pearl is the reason they are here, and Pearl is the reason he is here. It wouldn't be fair for Pearl to lose to what is basically a coin flip. So, he doesn't leave it up to random chance.

So yes, Scott is loyal and does care about his allies, he proves that again and again. But the way he is involved in how the series end shows that his sense of order and fairness are equally important. Also, I think viewing his contributions from this angle help remedy some of the reasons people don't like his usual characterization because of how it effects the agency of other characters.

[creamypudding]

The last time I talked on here about my weightloss journey was back in November last year. I figure it's time for an update.

A lot has changed for me since then regarding work, which has really ramped up the stress for me, and disrupted my routine completely.

But, I kept up my exercise. More than ever before do I see the benefit of exercising. When I don't do it I feel stress impact me more. I procrastinate, I feel stressed, I clench my teeth, I feel sluggish and tense. When I do spend time on myself in the mornings, I find I can deal with stress a lot better. I have more patience and I'm not storing tension in my body.

So I have enjoyed continuing my exercising.

But then winter came along, brought on a bout of sickness, and kicked my ass, and it's been a challenge getting my motivated mojo back. I've had a shoulder injury that I'm working with a physio to fix up. Though I can still use my legs, but any injury, no matter where on the body, can have a detrimental effect on motivation.

Another thing that's been a challenge is that I'm really getting into my fic writing. It hampers my motivation to do my regular exercise in the mornings, especially on the weekends. All I want to do in the quiet hours of the morning is to write my stories, because once I'm out of bed I know there won't be time to write anything until I get back into bed at the end of the day. And I'm no longer a night owl. It is rare that I am up at 10pm, let alone past 10 these days, so mornings is really where it's at for me.

Anyway, last time I spoke about my weightloss journey I was unsure how I would stop the weightloss and find a plateau, but I felt confident that I'd reach one eventually. And, well... I have.

It's funny how the body has a set point it just likes to be at. If 60kg (132.2lb) is where my body likes to be then I guess there it shall be. Though I'd still like to try and lose another 5k's just so I've got that safety net, as my body does not enjoy weighing very much over 60kgs.

My periods are a constant reminder of this fact. I can cruise through the menstrual cycle most of the time nowadays. Barely any pain or cramping before and during. But when I weigh more it's like my body has given up and is willing to put me through the wringer to remind me that I'm too heavy for my internal organs to be happy.

Anyway, I'm hopeful with the warmer weather. I keep reminding myself of how I enjoy exercising, and I try to promise and plan for myself to find time to write during the day on a weekend as compensation for not writing in the morning.

I just have to get back into that morning workout routine and I'll either start losing weight again, or continue to hold steady.

I'll check in after Christmas, as that is a time for weight spiking, but y'know what? You only live once, so enjoy it. I know I can trust myself to get back on the exercise bandwagon and get back to the weight I'm comfortable at should things start ticking up too drastically and consistently. The idea of my weight getting out of control again is one I'm really annoyed with. I just have to look at that graph I posted above to get mad at myself for having let that happen. I don't, and I won't let myself get back there because it truly was a hard, painful, awful slog getting back down to a decent weight for myself.

Still proud of myself. I did good. I will maintain.

[blueskittlesart]

I know you're not fond of Twilight Princess, but what would you think if they brought back worldbuilding elements from it (the Twilight world and Midna, mainly) to a newer game? I'm not familiar enough with the series to know a whole lot, but that stuff at least seems really neat to me from my secondhand knowledge, but if Twilight Princess was as bad as you say... I would love to see them revisit it somehow with the BotW/TotK continuity.

i have this. thing about twilight princess. we know this. but genuinely even looking at the lore from an objective standpoint i think trying to pull any of it into other games is a bad decision at best and actively detrimental to the new game in question at worst. there are two main reasons for this:

the first is that mainline, non-sequel zelda games have a general rule about standing alone. in order for the games to remain accessible to players of all ages and backgrounds, every original (non-sequel) zelda title has to be able to function as an introduction to the franchise, meaning any lore required to understand the story must be exposited WITHIN the story of that game. the few lore-points that HAVE been adapted from other games (sacred realm, oot ganondorf, talking sword) are generic enough that they can be explained briefly within the story without taking too much time away from the player's journey. while those of us who ARE versed in the lore might have a deeper understanding of the overarching implications of these elements, NOT understanding the history behind them isn't going to impede your understanding or enjoyment of the game. for example, this is likely the practical reason why fi was never named or appeared in botw beyond her generic sound effect and the glowing of the sword, because even players who don't KNOW fi are able to tell from context that the sword is magical and is speaking. not knowing who fi is doesn't impede your ability to understand how and why the sword is speaking, given the rest of the context of botw's story. the two elements of tp that you mentioned, the twilight realm and midna, are VERY difficult from a writer's standpoint to work into a game without requiring the player to understand the plot of twilight princess. neither element easily fits into a new cycle's story without requiring a ton of expositional explanation which will inevitably take players out of the story, and relying on convoluted lore that new players won't even be familiar with to drive your story just sets you up for failure.

the second reason is that, from a writer's standpoint, neither midna nor the twilight realm were well-written enough in TP to be compelling. lmao. If you're going to adapt world-altering lore like the twilight realm into consistent canon, you need to have a firm grasp on the implications of adapting it. even the writers of TP had no fucking clue what the twilight realm was or where it came from or how it tied into the existing world of hyrule at all. literally the first sentence on the zelda wiki for twilight realm history is "The Twilight Realm's full history is incomplete." adding something like a new dimension to your consistent canon is world-altering. when you do something like that, it HAS to be thought-out and for good reason, or you're just confusing your audience unnecessarily. IF the twilight realm was to be brought back, it would HAVE to be with explicit knowledge of of how it effects the narrative and theming of the story its being written into, something that wasn't even present in the game where it was introduced. the same goes for midna; if you bring her back, she needs a reason to be there. she needs narrative weight and thematic consistency with the entire rest of the game, things that were barely present in her original story. ripping these elements out of their own game and tossing them into another only makes them more likely to feel out-of-place and confusing to players. And to be completely honest, almost anything that writers wanted to accomplish with the twilight realm could be done just as easily utilizing the sacred realm, an element which is already in consistent canon and is much easier to write into a given story than something as mysterious and confusing as the twilight realm. with midna, almost anything that she would accomplish could be accomplished by a game-specific guide character, which is already staple of loz anyway. using a game-specific guide character would also remove any potential confusion for new players who lack the context of midna's past appearances. the only reason you might NEED midna as a character is if you ALSO have the twilight realm and specifically require a twili guide character to explain it, but. for all the reasons stated above. you shouldn't have the twilight realm. lol

[raayllum]

to build on your recent ask, and just to pick your brain a little (gross metaphor, I know), when you said:

"To me, the coins could never have been permanent, otherwise there's very little reason to have them exist. After all, if the parents can't be freed and/or come back, why not just kill them? It'd effect the story the same way... unless they come back." I wonder, in your experience and education in literature, do you think it is feasible/would be an effective avenue of storytelling for the writers to use the (theoretical) inability to free the coined elves as a plot device to teach Rayla about moving on, and that she can't save everyone? she is portrayed as a very determined--and sometimes obsessive--character, and I can recall the writers bringing up her strong devotion to freeing the elves as something that should be questioned (though I do believe this will involve her allowing herself to let Callum/the others help). But, nevertheless, what are your thoughts?

The thing about Rayla is that her determination, and her wanting to save everyone isn't a Flaw, per se. If anything, it's the best thing about her, and the story points that out time and time again (1x03 with the boys, 1x05 with Bait, 1x09 with Zym, 2x07 with the dragon, 3x05 with Nyx): "You have true courage, and a big heart" / "It's because Rayla is a hero. Rayla's brave. She saves people. She does what's right [....] That's what makes her a hero. That's what makes her Rayla."

It's just not only a virtue, as like real people, most of TDP's cast's best qualities are also their worst ones, depending on the circumstance. Callum can also be obsessive with magic, after all (1x04, 2x01, 2x04, 4x02) but that doesn't mean him being a mage isn't his path, or not a Good path for him, particularly when it comes to primal magic. But his persistent, perpetually pushing nature also means he can be impulsive and bite off more than he can chew, unknowingly getting in over his head before it's too late. (Whereas Rayla tends to have a better cognition of her bad odds, but just less concern over them.) If Callum's 'bad path' is being a dark mage, Rayla's 'bad path' is being a loner assassin who takes everything on alone, y'know? Those paths are both from the same places, but there are always more options than the roles they've had enforced on them or have taken up because it feels like they don't have any other choice in war, even if they have/had good intentions regardless.

This also comes back to like, Rayla's relationship with letting go vs holding on. If anything, Rayla has a laser focus on moving on - "We have to keep moving" (1x09) / "Fine, one extra day. One" (2x01) / "Rayla, you're pushing us to move too fast" (3x02) / "I'm fine, Callum, like I already told you [...] We walk away and this never happened" (3x04) - that operates to her detriment, because it's usually when she's ignoring her own pain to prioritize the mission, or putting the mission above most things (other than the boys). If she doesn't linger on her pain/mistakes, she can pretend more easily that it doesn't exist (not "I don't want to talk right now" but "There's nothing to talk about," if you will). Illusions and erasure and all that - very Moonshadow

C: So, uh, yesterday must've been a hard day for you. R: Not really.

We see this even when she comes back in S4 and her attempts to "get things back the way they were" and even her almost complete prioritization of how Callum feels, and very little regard to how she feels (outside of being nervous to see him, which 4x05 quickly reveals is the least of how she's been emotionally damaged).

And this, of course, is because Rayla is very bad, actually, at letting things go. She holds on mistakes, she repeats the same patterns of herself and others who loved but hurt her, and that's why all her self deprecation talk is very similar across the seasons

I messed up. I know I did. (1x02) / You should cut yourself a break. Everyone messes up sometimes, or in my case, all the times. [...] Right up until moment when it really matters. That's when I just, poof, mess it up... And the next thing I know, I've failed. / I dropped it. This is all my fault. I let you both down. I let the world down. (1x09) / I need my friend to trust me, and he doesn't. And I think it's my fault. (2x02 / But every time I tried, I would mess it up, and the next time it was harder, and-- (2x03) / I failed them. It was my fault we were discovered. (3x03) / It's me, and it's all my fault. I failed them. I let them all down. They were right to reject me. I'm not good enough and I never will be. (3x04) / Oh no, I messed up again! [...] This is all my fault. I left him alone. I shouldn't have-- (4x06)

Rayla is someone who is selfless to the point she doesn't know how/when to be selfish, which causes her to be selfish in ways that are extremely detrimental to herself and to the other people around her. In a lot of ways, her inability to move on is an inability to let go of her negative self perception of herself: she fears that failure for her is inevitable ("I'm sure it would've flopped when it was my turn"), she's so terrified of being alone yet continually isolates herself because that seems safer, and because of these negative perceptions, she unfairly punishes herself. For her own mistakes, and for others.

Harrow: I recognize that I may pay the price for our mistakes. / I won't hide in the body of another while someone else pays the price for my decisions. (1x02) Rayla: It will just get tighter and tighter until I lose my hand. But I'm ready to pay that price. (1x06) / But if I die, I'll just be paying the price they should've paid a long time ago. (3x08)

VS

Callum: But you didn't run. They have it all wrong. Rayla: Does it matter? (3x03) Claudia: We're not going to the dungeons, Soren! We didn't do anything wrong. (3x02)

So Rayla wanting to prioritize something over the mission that's not for the good of someone else (Callum, the dragon, Nyx, etc) but for something that she personally wants is a massive departure for her and gives her all sorts of room to grow. However, it remains to be seen if Rayla will view it like that. I could see her see saving her parents as a form of 'redemption' - even though she didn't fail them like, at all, but again: it's Rayla we're talking about. Turning it into a duty would be very on brand. "This is a journey for redemption" and all that, even if like... she doesn't Need to redeem herself.

There's layers there then, of her being 'selfish' (wanting something for herself, it being her family) and of being too 'selfless' again, semi similar to her choice to leave in TTM. Because Rayla's inability to let go is unable to be separated from the way she continually punishes/loathes herself; that's what she can't put down, the mistakes and failures she feels responsible for that she'll destroy herself to try and correct, to ensure she pays the price so that no one else has to. That's why she's obsessive about Viren (protection, punishment, self-martyrdom) and prepared to stay behind at the Storm Spire.

Her choices to save and protect Zym are a little different. She, like the princes, wants to make up for her parents' mistakes, yes, but it goes deeper than that - she truly believes that this is right and has the power to change the world for the better, to break the cycle rather than perpetuate it. To make a difference, not as a trauma response, but in the vein of healing.

TLDR; to summarize, I think Rayla's parents, particularly Runaan, have a great capacity to help her unlearn the harmful patterns they've passed down, whether because she's grown beyond them and can help her parents do the same, or in seeing their behaviour and correcting hers, or in having them realize how they messed her up, and saving her right back.

None of this really touches on how TDP's hero side is staunchly big on protecting the value of the individual, and their right to exist/thrive without prejudice/expectation, by laying yourself down (as opposed to offering up others' lives), but I think that's absolutely a component as well. TDP's hopepunk theme - Breaking the cycle, working towards harm reduction, reconciling rather than reinforcing binaries - are all in favour of saying "you can't save everyone, but you should still always Try" (hi Ezran in 3x04) and I don't think they'd toss that out, either. In a world with magic, they could've taken the concept of the Moon Nexus and Rayla wanting to see them again for the same end (which, in TTM, Rayla doesn't think she can save her parents per se - she just wants to know if they're actually dead or not), but uh. They didn't so yeah, particularly because Runaan living means all sorts of messy feelings for Callum and happy gay reunion elves, them living absolutely holds the most merit for the narrative, tbh

[eldritchsurveys]

1199.

in what form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you're currently interested in? . if you were to leave the house right now, would you change your outfit all? >> I did leave the house for a brief store run a couple of hours ago and I changed from my house pjs into a pair of cutoffs and a Totoro tank top.

when was the last time something really cute happened to you? . why aren't you texting the last person you kissed? .

has anything happened to you within the past month that's made you really happy? >> That mindblowing reconnection with Bruni happened in the past month, so yeah, definitely.

do you want to see someone right now? >> I don't.

did a boy or girl text message you last? . when was the last time something bothered you? >> I haven't been bothered at all today, and I attribute that to not having been on any sort of socmed (aside from a cursory check of facebook, and my fb feed is 98% local businesses so that hardly counts) including Discord all day. I know people talk about the detrimental effects of being Quite So Online all the time but I hadn't realised it for myself until literally today. Most of my triggers are socialisation-based and spending so much time performing personhood for what amounts to strangers and casual acquaintances every single day is probably making me way more insane than I can handle being. This is truly the most relaxed day I've had in a while. Funny how my sense of isolation is actually intensified (maybe even created) by being around ("around") people so often -- the "alone in a crowd" effect but multiplied (there are so many people on the internet). Anyway, the last time something bothered me was... hmm. I don't remember if anything bothered me yesterday, yesterday was actually my first day out of the intense trauma fog I'd been in for the past week and a half. And honestly the limit of my short term memory is like 12 hours lmao, so.

what was the last thing you looked up on youtube? >> I don't remember the last thing I actively searched for. The last thing I watched was a 2 hour Diablo IV critique, lol. It definitely made me feel less crazy about how that game felt to play (bad. it feels bad).

have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? >> I have not. did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? .

what exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? >> I don't remember the last time I was intoxicated by way of alcohol.

do you actually love your parents? .

have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? >> Several times, yeah. Ninth grade was the worst. But I was also actively being abused in ninth grade, so I cut myself a lot of slack there.

are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? >> Wallflower -- sometimes in a sad way, but sometimes in a "I just like to chill out and watch people be people" way.

would you rather go to a katy perry or taylor swift concert? >> I would rather stay the fuck home, thanks. have you ever thrown up from working out? >> I have not and I can't imagine pushing myself that hard. Like, for what. I'm not interested in that level of exercise at all. what pattern do the sheets on your bed have? >> No pattern.

are your days full and fast-paced? >> Not at all.

what languages can you count to ten or higher in? >> Just English.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? >> Some big-box store. are you good with painting nails with your left hand? >> I'm competent at it.

do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? >> I share drinks with Sparrow all the time. We've been living in the same house for 8 years, we definitely have merged immune systems by now.

have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? >> all I can do is laugh at this question tbh

have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? .

do you spend more time outside or inside? >> Inside. would you rather give up the computer or the tv? >> I rarely use the TV in the first place and the only thing I use it for is, like, playing the PS4. sooo do you own any fake designer purses? >> I don't.

who was the last person you were with that smelled really good? . do you think braces are sexy? >> Not as a rule.

what were you for halloween in first grade? . last person to make you seriously mad? >> Sparrow.

don't you hate when people have cell phones but never answer them? >> This has zero effect on me because I don't call people... who have you recently made up with after fighting? .

what kind of toothpaste do you use? >> Whatever's reasonably priced. I think we're using Crest right now.

last thing you bought at the grocery store? >> We had to get pickles because Sparrow will not make fried chicken sandwiches without pickles, it's a RULE. And then we picked up a couple of tasty treats while we were there. what were you doing this morning at 1am? >> Sleeping. funniest name you have ever heard? .

what could someone do to irritate you? >> So much shit in this world irritates me. You genuinely do not even have to try to irritate me, it will happen whether you intend it to or not, lol. I try not to hold it against people because I know this about me.

have you used a tissue today? >> I have not.

the last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? . what color hair does your mom have? .

when people ask "how are you?" do you say "good" even if you aren't? >> I usually just rattle off a quick "fine"/"fine and you" and move on to what I'm actually there to say. I know the question isn't a literal one, it's just one of those social script things.

honestly, did you really love the last person you said i love you to? .

when was the last time you were told you were cute? . how was your friday? >> Friday... oh, hey, that's today (yeah I had to check--). It was great, actually. I've already talked about why in a previous question. But also I played some Grim Dawn which I love, and I finished that A Slow Death book (I'm obsessed with radiation so that counts as a good read to me), and it's nice and warm outside. And I had a fresh homemade fried chicken sammich. 10/10 day, no notes. when is the last time you were in a swimming pool? >> I think that was at Easton Mountain, a whole lifetime ago. did you speak to your father today? .

what was the last thing you drank? >> This probiotic soda that they were giving out for free(??) at Bridge Street Market.

is there anyone you want to come see you? .

how did you wake up this morning? >> I'm pretty sure my upstairs neighbour woke me up, as usual.

[profsilverleaf]

Regarding the Johto Raid, (what happened)

Context: There's a villain team known as Team Calm. They genetically modify Pokemon to make them more friendly and cute, to the detriment to those Pokemon's well-being.

This is the story of my part in the Team Calm Johto Raid

I have sneaked around their Kalos lab along with a friend (ooc: Leinwen of untitledswanna). Together we gathered incriminating evidence and she sent it to Prof Lemon. Someone we knew that was well-known and was concerned about Team Calm.

Well this ended up leading to Miku calling for the Alola raid, something I was initially planning on joining in. Then an idea struck my mind... why just stop at the Alola base? What if we struck another base at the same time, or a little bit after the Alola raid?

Well I privately went to Lemon with the idea and she was receptive to it. We had both ended up going to Johto. Well, we were still planning things out by the time the Alola raid ended and Miku also made a call on some individuals (which ended up including both me and Lemon coincidentally) to quietly raid the Johto base.

So it was me, Lemon, Cee, Touya, Taraka, and Arezu. Our small group worked together to do a covert operation. Lemon would stay outside with a truck for transporting the Pokemon while the rest of us sneak inside and get the Pokemon out, as well as keep guards busy.

Things started off very well... I was finding great success in using my Abra, Houdini to quickly teleport Pokemon to the truck, as well as keeping guards at bay with my other Pokemon.

Then I saw a message in our groupchat we made for our Johto raid. Lemon was calling for immediate help because of guards finding the truck and her not being able to hold all of them back at once. I had Houdini teleport me to the truck so I could help her.

I asked Houdini to keep up the mission of teleporting the UD Pokemon to the truck, the little guy would have to go alone though, but he was up to the task.

Me and Lemon worked together to defend the Pokemon in the truck from being captured by the guards. I'm not really sure how long it went on, I'm not good at time. But it was maybe only 5 minutes since I had got there, when the fire became visible to us. The building had caught on fire!

I don't know how it happened. And I wonder how fast it had spread. It could have already been started before I even left.

How could I describe that moment... the feeling of shock of seeing something that spelled doom. Things had been going relatively well. They had been.

I was so utterly focused on the guards, both in front of us and some I could see running over in the distance. I was also focused on the Pokemon in truck double checking that they were alright. I felt glad everytime I saw the flash of Houdini briefly showing up before flashing away. Houdini, along with one of Taraka's Pokemon, a Cosmog.

I didn't notice the fire immediately, it was Lemon who saw it. I just remember her gasping in horror and I looked her way and saw what she was seeing. The guards we had been going up against must have saw our aghast faces because they started turning around and panicking, calling to people inside the building with their walkies-talkies... or at least trying to...

You see... I have a Magneton, and magnets and electronics often don't go well together. And I didn't want them to call for reinforcements... so I had Click mess with electronics so they would stop working.

I like to think. I hope to think. That the people inside already knew and were already working on dealing with the fire. I hate to think... that I made things worse... that people would have known sooner if I hadn't done that...

Seeing the fire I scrambled to think of something... anything I could do. I did have an idea but I wasn't sure how effective it would be. After all it wasn't a move my Porygon Z, Zip, had used in years. And I'm not exactly.... a fan of the move. But using Blizzard was the best I could think of that could slow down the fire.

So I told Zip to use Blizzard on the fire. It looked at me as if I had pulled a Doduo and grew two heads. But with seeing the fire already slowly spreading it nodded. And I braced myself. You see.... I'm not really a big fan of ice moves. Or ice types. Or ice and snow in general. Not a fan. I've got my reasons. (and I hate Neo Plasma)

The Blizzard helped a little... I think. I tried my best to keep my mind of the... ice. Instead I was just waiting and waiting for the other people we came with to get out. I was also on the edge of my seat when it came to Houdini, despite the fire it insisted to keep going in anyway. Later, Houdini had to be treated for some serious burns at the Pokecenter. The little guy just had to keep going in the dangerous areas to get out anybody it could. That also ended up including humans as well. I guess he knew he was one of the best chances for those trapped in the fire to get out safely.

The blaze increased in intensity, despite the best efforts of Zip and the water Pokemon that the guards had, as well as the water type UDs (unfortunately their water moves were very weak). I saw Houdini growing weaker from the burns and constant teleporting. I worried that it would just faint inside the building. So I grabbed him to stop him from teleporting. I knew that if just used the ball he would get out and go right back to what he was doing. But if I was holding on to him, if he teleported he would end up carrying me along. I knew he wouldn't.

I don't speak Abra, but I think he was basically swearing at me for stopping him from going back. He wasn't happy.

I ended up going home to Kalos after this mess. I thought I would be going back to Alola.... but I needed me time. I helped to get some of the UDs into Kalos shelters.

The nurses say that Houdini will be ok but that it will likely have burn scars for the rest of its life. I suppose in a funny way we match. It has fire scars and I have an ice-related scar.

I've been a bit quite lately, I've had a lot to think about.

I saw Lemon's post and decided to make my own.

From my knowledge, the Team Calm people do keep records of who worked there as well as the Pokemon. But the records got burnt in the fire. The other bases had backup records... but the backups were being kept in the Johto Lab. It was the main lab after all. I don't know if there were any other backups or not.

Even if there were I'm not sure if I would strength to look at them. But I would anyway. I would have to know, even if I don't want to. To know how many were lost in the fire. It be a sort of... closure.

I worry this whole thing was a mistake.

[assenavlp]

Oprah and AI

I watched this primetime ABC propaganda sh¡tshow so you all don't have to.

AI AND THE FUTURE OF US AN OPRAH WINFREY SPECIAL

I hadn't heard or seen any press for this show, and just happened to see the listing as I was trying to find something to watch, a few nights ago, but I wasn't sure if I really wanted to watch it or not - lol - so I scheduled it to record, just in case. Finally bit the bullet, yesterday.

The recording caught the last bit of a political ad, before the show began. It warned that "Biden & Harris want to force you to buy an electric car". LMAO And awayyyy we go…

The show (and segment one, of five) cynically begins with a group of everymen/women expressing confusion, doubt, ambivalence, and suspicion. All the better to commence giving you the soft sell, my dears…

THE AGENDA

Oprah: "I was Bedazzled, Fascinated, Curious, and also Concerned. But there is no doubt, it is Here."

She began by breezing through a very basic timeline of the notion and progress of AI, over the last 70 years, and promised, a couple of times, that the show would be "not so technical".

It should be noted that in this hour and four minute-long programme, at no time do they speak of the mass theft of art, music, or literary works (let alone personal data and images shared on social media). 'Cuz who cares about them highfalutin artistic types? Gatekeeping snobs and weirdos, man. 'Ah don't know anything about art, but Ah know what Ah like.' They don't even touch on the issue of likeness theft. They do speak of it, in regards to fraud, later on, but not in regards to creative works, for which there was that whole actor's strike. I see you going to the SAG Awards, Ms. Winfrey. [Buh Gok!] Nor do they speak on the mass of false advertising. They also don't get into the massively detrimental environmental impact. Shocking.

Meta admits scraping every adult Australian’s public post to train AI, no opt-out https://www.diyphotography.net/meta-admits-scraping-every-adult-australians-public-post-to-train-ai-no-opt-out/

Without further ado, the woman who brought us all such greats [chuckle] as Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and the book, "A Million Little Pieces", now brings (to the general public) the so-called Effective Altruist*, OpenAI CEO, Sam Altman.

At about 7 minutes in, in the most earnest, pandering tone, he says, "the most important thing that will happen here is, everyone in the world will be able to create at a level that is still hard for us to imagine. This is gonna be an enabler of human ability to create, to flourish, to make new things, to create new companies and services like we've never seen, and we want eeeeverybody to get to do that, not just the white dudes", as he stares directly at Oprah. LOL

Oh, the sweet, sweet 'democratization of art', you bad, bad, racist and ableist anti-AI folks. [rolling eyes]

Of course they allow him to express concern as he pays lip service to safety and regulations, as fellow sociopaths Elon, Jeff, and Mark, all grace our screens, and he speaks of regularly working with the Executive Branch. Mm hmmm. The folks who love their corporate donors. Okay. Go on.

Oprah: "How do we know we can trust you?"

Sam: "The bar on this is clearly extremely high, um, the best thing that we can do is to put this technology in the hands of people, talk about what it is capable of, what it's not, what we think is gonna come, what we think might come, give our best advice about how society should decide to use this. Um, say when we think it's important to not release something, which we also might get wrong, and build up that trust over time. But it is clear that this is going to be a very impactful technology, and I think a lot of scrutiny is thus super warranted."

Oprah: "I actually saw a headline, that said you were the most powerful, and perhaps most dangerous man on the planet, and I'm wondering how that sits with you."

Sam (holding back tears - really): "I…. It's definitely strange to hear you say that. It doesn't… I don't feel like the most powerful person or anything even close to that, uh, like I feel the opportunity, the responsibility in a positive way to get to nudge this in a direction that I think can be really good for people. And that is, like, that's like a serious… exciting, somewhat nerve-racking thing, um, but it's something that I feel very deeply, and I, and I, and I, and I realise how I'll never get to touch anything this important again."

We really needed some violins, here.

Oprah goes on to express her "concern" over the "nefarious" ways some have already used the technology, but then goes on to gush how "calllm" and "relatablllle" he is, and thus, "it seems like everything is okay"…. And he, in turn, replies that he doesn't want to give anyone "a false sense of security", that "there will be bad, too", and that they'll "mitigate, as much as we can" [whewwww, lol] acknowledging full well that "this technology will be misused"… Then he quickly slips in another one for everyone's AI-Bro Bingo card: "like every technology before it…"

Oh, how they love that canard.

*Effective Altruism: letting billionaires amass their fortunes, untaxed and unregulated, so that they can 'benefit' society the way THEY, alone, see fit. Yeah, no.

Then there's a commercial break and they bring back the common folks, for segment two, gushing about their kids using AI to "draw" (yeah, no) dinosaurs, and using the simplified AI filters on TikTok (See? Folks are already using AI, no biggie, lol), using it to generate 'reference' material for sermons, but "never" actually using the raw product (no, of coooourse not), and their fears, shock of all shocks, are slowly being allayed. Apprehensions of "how it will eat you alive" now gone, by "talking to it". Who could have seen this miraculous reversal coming? LOL

HOLY S*** (Their asterisks, not mine.)

Next on the docket is Marques Brownlee, YouTube tech-expert, displaying the exponential improvement of fake videos, in just the past year - of course to Oprah's shock and disbelief - explaining how they're generated by referencing millions of photos. He did explain that "there really isn't any good set of rules" despite some embedding watermarks or meta data so that those who know how to look deeper will know it's fake. i.e. maybe 5% of the people looking at this crap, and at the moment, those folks can tell just by looking anyway.

Then Oprah plays at being the everyman, too, by expressing real concern, especially after he demonstrates a voice generator with his own voice, but of course, she gives him the opportunity to allay those fears; going back down the well-worn 'we've seen this before with new technology' trail that every tech-bro loves to travel, including Sam, in the previous segment. Am I sensing a pattern?

Marques: "I'll say I've seen this story before. Cars, in general, went through this; smartphones, of course, went through this; computers went through this; the Internet went through this; where at their very formative years, they're really, really confusing and potentially amazing but potentially horrible, and eventually, you know, humans sort themselves out, to lay the rules down in a way that we can actually trust that will be better than it is bad. So I've seen this story before and I'm hoping it plays out the way it's played out before."

Oh, that makes me feel so much better, because this all-encompassing technology is absolutely no different than any other technological advance we've seen throughout all of recorded history. No, not at all. [cough]

Next up are Tristan Harris, Technology Ethicist, and Aza Raskin, creator of the Infinite Scroll, talking about the incredible speed of the tech, the ills of "social media addiction, doom-scrolling, and polarization", and how he, Aza, "learned the hard way" that his "good intentions as an inventor just wasn't enough". Ya don't say. He did challenge the aforementioned "every tech" narrative by pointing out that the various problems of cars (eg. seatbelts) took decades to resolve. Of course he doesn't mention that cars, even still, are killing us every day, from their planned obsolescent over-production and resultant waste, to the continued fossil fuel dependency and pollution (or all the rare earth mineral mining devastation that electric alternatives will incur)….

Aza: "Once AI can do anything, people start to use it to do everything."

Tristan: "That's what's so confusing about AI, is it's going to give us all these benefits at the same time that it's undermining the foundations that we depend on, and you can't separate the promise from the peril, so I think instead of getting caught up in the question, "is AI gonna be good or is it gonna be bad", it's about, "is it happening at a pace that our society can respond appropriately."

Oprah: "But guys, it's here. It's why I started this programme by saying it is here."

Tristan: "Open AI's stated goal is to be able to build systems of AI that are even smarter than humans because there's trillions of dollars to be made on the other side…."

Oprah: "What do you want to see happen, now?"

Tristan: "OpenAI, Google, Microsoft, they need to be held accountable for the harms that they would create so that they're all incentivized to pull back, and go at the pace that they can help society be prepared and not be overwhelmed."

Oprah: "And who is holding them accountable?"

Tristan: "We need laws."

HA!

Back with some more everyfolks, segment three begins with the spectre of real life scams and the harm they cause.

BAD GUYS

FBI director Christopher Wray is trundled out to talk more about deepfakes and scams, and ch¡ldp0rn and sext0rt¡on using faked images.

Oprah: "Do you think we have the laws or regulations in place, now, to keep Americans safe from all that's coming, all the AI threats?"

Christopher: "I would probably leave legislating to the legislators, but what I will tell you from an FBI director's perspective, um, is that this is a type of technology that we see manifesting itself in more and more situations, more and more types of crimes, more and more types of threats, uh, and there's a degree to which, overall, our laws haven't kept pace with the technology."

Oprah: "Does that frustrate you?"

Christopher: "Sure, yeah, sure. What I worry about is the day, which is coming, it's not here but it's coming faster than we would like, where those, um, elite bad guys will find AI sophisticated enough to take their game to a-whole-nother level."

Oprah: "And the elite bad guys are doing what?"

Christopher: "So the elite bad guys are the ones, you know, for example, conducting the most sophisticated cyber intrusions. To me no country, no country represents a broader, more severe, more comprehensive threat to American innovation, American ideas, to our Economic Security, and ultimately our national security, than the Chinese government. China has a bigger hacking programme, already, than that of every major nation combined, and has stolen more of Americans' personal and corporate data than every nation, big or small combined. The scale of the threat is significant. If you took the FBI's programme, and just said forget Russia, forget Iran, just do nothing but China, the Chinese government's hacking programme, they would outnumber us 50 to 1.

Oprah: "We've got an election coming. Do you think this election cycle will be compromised by disinformation?"

Christopher: "I fully expect to see, um, disinformation by foreign adversaries. We are finding, all too often, that something on social media that looks like Bill from Topeka or Mary from Dayton is actually, you know, some Russian or Chinese intelligence officer on the outskirts of Beijing or Moscow."

Don't worry about the homegrown stuff. [shhhh]

Oprah: "What should we be on the lookout for?"

Christopher: "All Americans should try to be, you know, more discerning consumers of information. It is incumbent on everyone in America to bring an intensified sense of focus and caution to the use of AI, and how AI can be used by bad guys against all of us, but not to panic I don't think this is a time for panic."

So, in sum: Chinese and Russian AI, baaaaad. [furrows brow] American AI, goooood. [thumbs up] Nothing to see, here!

Back to the everypeople, and the fear of job losses, immediately followed by the old 'but there will be newwww jobs' cliché, and then the folks who were suspicious but they looove it, now, and the folks who aren't worried because they're "irreplaceable".

HEALTH, EDUCATION & JOBS

Oh! Bill Gates! Quell surprise.

Microsoft's Hypocrisy on AI https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/09/microsoft-ai-oil-contracts/679804/

Long story short: medicine is going to be sooo much better. And education, too!

Bill: "We can see it's already working pretty well."

Oh, really?

Kids who use ChatGPT as a study assistant do worse on tests Researchers compare math progress of almost 1,000 high school students. https://www.popsci.com/technology/kids-who-use-chatgpt-as-a-study-assistant-do-worse-on-tests/

And robots can do the blue collar jobs, too! (Including fruit-picking, on all that farmland he's been buying up.) Yayyyy, replicants! [facepalm]

Oprah: "What are the jobs that you believe are going to be undisturbed? What skills are going to persist in these, in this new world?"

Bill: "Yeah, that's very hard to make a prediction. I mean there'll be aspects of creativity, there'll be aspects of appreciating, uh, people [said as if under duress, lol], you know, social work, the teacher really engaging that student in the rich way. Even then I can't guarantee that software won't eventually get good at that, but you know, for the next generation, the more human, the more engaged you are with other people [so, not artists], that is a skillset that is in such short supply, whether it's mental health or education, that we can never have enough of that."

I dread to imagine what his visions for future mental health services are.

Oprah: "I mean I've expressed several of my concerns, but do you have none, do you have no…"

Bill: "I have significant fears about the risks. This is the first technology that is happening faster than even the insiders expected."

Oprah: "It's happening faster than you guys thought?"

Bill: "Absolutely."

Oprah: "Do you think that your company, that, that Microsoft, and other companies that are gonna make a lot of money off of AI have an obligation to help us manage and navigate through this change?"

Bill: "Absolutely. The fact that there will have to be regulation, that the way we think about taxes will have to change quite a bit. If the companies are working with the government, then at least we can craft something that's, that's not just profit-driven."

Regulations that you and your lobbyists craft? [chortle]

Oprah: "But what did we miss with the Internet and social media that we can use to apply now, to this moment of AI?"

Bill: "Well, I, I would say, speaking for myself, personally, and, I think, many others, that we were a bit naïve."

Ya don't say.

Stephen Fry: Musk and Zuckerberg have 'polluted culture' ""I’m the chump who thought social media could change the world," he told his audience at the Digital Futures Institute." https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ceq5q3jlnz3o

Bill: "We thought the Internet, the availability of information would make us all a lot more factual. The fact that people would seek out kind of a niche of misinformation, we were a bit naïve."

Okay, then.

Back to the everyones… and what it is to be "human". HA! "As a religious person, one of the things that I reflect on is "be careful about comfort because too much comfort is actually going to make your life worse, not better, because it'll decrease your over all capacity." (An actual good point.)

IRREPLACEABLE HUMANS

The final guest, Marilynne Robinson, novelist, is the lone 'creative' on the show.

Marilynne: "The impulse behind it seems to be to eliminate the human hand, the human eye in the making of the reality that we inhabit to the farthest extent possible. With the effect of, of, um, concentrating power in the sense of the control of this strange fantasy, uh, within very few people's hands and consolidating masses of capital, and masses of natural resources devoted to this very dubious project. It's just a human impulse to escape from its humanity, which is something that happens over and over again, historically. The impulse to say, uh, that there's nothing intrinsic about a human person, that cannot, in theory, be replicated by something that, frankly, works cheaper, works faster. I don't know why it is but it's part of our human lot to be uncomfortable with our humanity, and to mechanize it, you know, out of existence in some way. We're not enough in love with our own existence, and we're not enough in love with everyone else's existence, and I think that's very dangerous." [chef's kiss]

The same reason transhumanists are so obsessed with living longer and more artificially. They don't love - or respect - the time they have here. They want more, more, more.

Oprah: "What is the thing that concerns you the most?"

Marilynne: "I'm afraid that there will be so much investment of every kind into this project, that it will have its consequences before it really deserves them, and so there will be all kinds of cutting back on all kinds of employment and so on, anticipating this insurgence of, of AI, and then it will turn out that it's a, it's a bad project, you know, that it's more dangerous than it is valuable, and so on, and so we will have a disrupted economy on the one hand, and an unusable technology on the other."

Mic drop!

Oprah, ignoring the words of the preacher before the segment, persists…

Oprah: "But it's also going to, no question about it, it's going to make life a lot easier for a lot of people, so what's wrong with that?"

Marilynne: "American schools ask for a lot of written work from students, and that's a very good thing. It's an autonomy-creating exercise, you know. But what we don't do, we don't tell them that this is a discipline, like an athletic discipline that they have undertaken to strengthen themselves, not just to bring themselves over some arbitrary line of sufficiency."

Never mind the physical process of writing, learning cursive, etc., which too many deemed unnecessary, despite all the literature demonstrating otherwise.

Oprah: "That it's the discipline of doing the work and the thinking process."

Marilynne: "Exactly. And students say writing is difficult, which of course it is."

Oprah: "It is."

Marilynne: "But difficulty is the point."

Oprah: "And so if you were in charge of this whole AI movement, what would you be doing or what would you advise?"

Marilynne: "I would advise that it be used for, you know, the kind of research that produces drugs and immunizations and so on."

Sure. With MUCH oversight. But then again…

Revolution, interrupted One of the promises of machine learning was better drugs, faster. A decade in, AI has failed to live up to the hype https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-artificial-intelligence-drug-research-hype/

Marilynne: "I would, uh, I would make a fantastic library. I would use it very, very judiciously to replace work that is drudgery without the arrogance of replacing the work of people who, you know, who are of very great value, you know, just because they are the substance of our ordinary interactions with the world."

Oof. There's MY personal sticking point. "Eliminating the drudgery." She was careful to make a distinction but I fear that nuance will be lost on most of the people already sharing that hackneyed meme. Everyone wants a replicant to do the stuff they think they're above doing. Doesn't end well.

Oprah was still desperately trying to make the case, though, retreating to the same old "fear of the new" and "nostalgia" arguments, asking how this time is different. Sometimes I thought, maybe she's just playing Devil's Advocate, with some of these questions? It was interesting that she gave the final word to someone who had the most philosophical viewpoint. But nahhh. Marilynne then compared it to The Manhattan Project. HA! Another mic drop.

And then Oprah's final thoughts, on this peak Boomer TV:

"A special thank you to everyone who spoke with us, tonight. I hope that they have left you with a clearer picture of what is coming. Artificial intelligence is still beyond our control, and to a great extent our understanding, but it is here. We're going to be living with technology that can be our ally as well as our rival. It is something that no other generation has ever experienced. This moment requires a different level of alertness, awareness, about who we are, and where we're going, what's real, and what's not, what's artificial intelligence and what is human wisdom, authentic intelligence earned through study and experience. We are this planet's most adaptable creatures. We will adapt again but keep your eyes on what's real. The stakes for all of us could not…..

And then the recording cuts out. [GUFFAW]

-30-

[kanmom51]

Ok, this might be a bit controversial but even though I side eye many "jeonlous" moments on yt or other media because they literally just zoom in on jk's impassive face, I have seen some that seem legit. I think there is some truth behind it all, meaning that it is possible that jk is a bit possessive, especially when it comes to minimoni or even Taemin for some reason. I mean, he has said he had trouble sharing and it is not difficult to imagine this would also apply to his relationships.

This is not to say that he thinks Namjoon or any of the other members are a threat to his relationship with Jimin because that would be ridiculous. It's just that maybe sometimes he doesn't like some of their skinship (for whatever reasons we don't know) and the rest of bts is probably aware of it. I mean, that clip you reblogged where Jimin sneakily looks at jk and then proceeds to touch namjoon's thigh doesn't have many other explanations. He probably knew what he was doing 😂 There is also that part of their live post billboard 2017 where something was going on with jikook and namjoon.

Actually, I think this is true for both jk and jm, even if it is less obvious/frequent. Maybe I'm crazy but I got the same kind of vibe from Jimin in the black swan mv behind when jk was hanging off of tae.

I don't mean to imply they are toxic or anything but they are young adults and while some telenovela like narratives going around are just insane, i don't think it is fair to assume that their relationship is perfect and that they don't do things that annoy each other or that they don't have behaviors that aren't exactly ideal or 100% healthy. Especially because problems are bound to rise if they are a couple but constantly have to act as if they weren't because their relationship is not public.

I know you are really open minded so I would love to read your thoughts on this 💜

Where do I start here?

Controversial is good.  I like me a good controversy once in a while, as long a it’s not offensive.  It makes for good discussion.

No, I do not believe and definitely don’t like the Jeonolous narrative out there.  It makes for fun YT content, but it’s toxic and paints JK as this possessive ass, which I don’t think he is.

I have addressed this in the past, and said that I don’t believe in this narrative, but on the other hand I do see JK and JM as human beings, and as such, not perfect and prone to natural human behaviour and reactions.  

Even those who are not prone to jealousy, that are in the best of relationships, can get jealous once in a while. 

Another thing we need to remember is that what we spot as jealous can be something other than the obvious possessive jealousy we automatically tend to associate that word with.  It could be something like annoyance or discomfort in a situation. 

The dictionary definition of ‘jealous’ is:

feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements,  possessions, or perceived advantages.

 feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else.

fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions.

 As you can see, what we call as jealousy can contain within it several meanings.  There is possessive jealousy.  There is jealous of one other’s advantage, such as their connection with someone else.  There is jealous not of the connection with the other, but the ability to showcase that connection (being able to be free with the other, while you have to hide your own connection), and there is what I call the classic jealousy, when there is a suspicion your partner is attracted to someone else.

With all those there is also a spectrum of levels of jealousy, from low level jealousy to toxic jealousy.

JM & JK’s relationship doesn’t live in a vacuum.  If we believe they are in a loving gay relationship, well they are living that relationship while being K-pop idols in SK, a highly traditional society.  They are in an environment you are not supposed to have a romantic relationship, let alone an unthinkable ‘gay’ relationship. So, showcasing such a relationship, for them, is problematic, and could be dangerous, to their careers and even their own personal safety.  It can be detrimental not only to themselves, but to the band and all the members.  So, as a whole, they have to hide it.  And that in itself can also be a point of friction.

Another thing to point out is that jealousy can also be a facet of insecurity, in yourself and/or in your relationship.  The stronger the relationship, the more secure you are in your connection, the less jealous you will be.  I think that this is something to take into consideration when we look at JM & JK, especially in the early years.  

Also, not every time that JK pokes his cheeks with his tongue does it mean he’s jealous or angry.  Not every behaviour should be interpreted as jealously.

Saying all that, I have seen several occasions that stood out to me, and I find hard to explain.

The 4th July 2015 fan meeting incident is one of them.  The way JK reacted to RM taking a hold of JM was not only jealous behaviour but it was such an extreme reaction and effected JK’s behaviour with the fans as well, which was really unprofessional, and uncharacteristic.  

Same vibe but not as extreme was JK during BTS Bomb after KBS music bank 1st place 9 May 2015.  moody JK when he’s eyeing Jimin interacting with Hobi and Jin, also the way JK averts his eyes when Jimin looks his way. He’s not happy. Mood changes when Jimin pays him attention pulling him by his shirt.

Both of these were, at least as far as I am concerned, before JM & JK’s relationship progressed into something ‘more’.  This could be a kind of ‘I want that’ or ‘why are you giving him attention and not me’ jealousy.  Whatever it was, it was a clear reaction to JM’s interactions with another member of the band.

Another one I think about was 3rd April 2017 – BTS Front row live entertainment interview.  

This one intrigues me. I watched and re-watched the full interview several times, and for the life of me I can’t see what happened there between JM and Hobi that triggered JK’s reaction?  JM’s placating look at JK, like telling him nothing happened… this one is used a lot to create the JK jealous narrative, and to be honest, I really don’t know what happened there. When JK turns back, JM looks into the camera with an uneasy gaze.   Something was going on there, no idea what it was.  Was it jealousy?  Was it something else between them? Idk, but it was a curious moment.

The issues JK has with Taemin. We do know that something happened between JK & JM the night JM performed with Taemin (if it had to do with Taemin we don’t know).  

We have also seen JK’s reactions to Taemin & Jimin together.  I do think there is a dislike there, it can stem from jealousy, but it can also stem from simple dislike of the man.  We have no way of knowing.  It’s kind of who came first, the chicken or the egg.

The clip I reblogged, and that you mentioned anon, is something else to me.  Yes, JK’s reaction is of uneasiness, even anger, but the feel I get here is that this is a JM kind of teaching moment, and JK reacting to that. It feels like JM wants to teach him a lesson for some reason, and JK crossing his arms and look at JM kind of radiates anger more than jealousy to me.  The way JM stretches out his hands, the look on his face before he puts his hands on RM’s thigh, the way he looks back before and after to make sure JK is looking.  He was there to teach him a lesson.  That was my impression.  We have no idea what happened before or after.  We have no idea why JM decided to do this, but JK’s reaction to me was more pissed off than jealous.  That’s the vibe I got.

I have seen JM reacting in a manor that looks like jealousy on occasions.  The one I can think about is the Vlive where JK is sitting in front of Tae, JM on the other side of the table, and Tae is using JK as his play thing.  The way JM looks at them, the way he storms out the second the live ends, the way Tae pipes up immediately, looking like he’s off to follow JM.  They all paint a jealous or angry reaction.  

JM was clearly bothered but I don’t think of this as JM being jealous of Tae & JK.  I think the bond between those three is strong enough. Again, this was one of those questionable moments.

Bottom line –

JK & JM are human beings, and as such exhibit normal human behaviour.  

Jealousy can be considered as a normal human behaviour, and can also be seen in healthy relationships, as long as it doesn’t become toxic, obsessive, overbearing or controlling. I will even go so far as to say that there are those who thrive on jealousy.  Jealousy is a way for them to feel their partner loves them, a way to get reinforcement that they are wanted/loved.  Again, this is something that can turn toxic, but not always.

Jealousy has different facets.  You can be jealous of someone, jealous for someone.

Do JK or JM sometimes show jealous behaviour. Seemingly they do once in a while.

Does that make one or either of them jealous monsters?  Does that make their relationship possessive or toxic?

By no means what so ever!!!!!  

It’s natural, it’s human, they are human.  Their relationship has ups and downs. It holds a beautiful bond filled with love and care, but also may hold insecurities and arguments and everything a normal relationship between two human beings will hold.  

We just need to give them a break.

It’s ok to ‘analyze’ behaviours, but it’s not ok to demonize either one of them.  See the behaviour, talk about it, but also remember we only see part of the picture, the edited version of what is going on between the two.

 And first and utmost remember they are human beings, just like the rest of us.  Don’t hold them up to ridiculous standards because they are ‘idols’.

[disgruntledspacedad]

in defense of Din’s subdued reaction to losing the kid...

gif by @quantam-widow

I know we were all thinking it. We got a 2 second reaction shot to the destruction of the Razor Crest (may she forever rest in peace), but then, Grogu gets taken, and... nothing?

What the fuck, Din? we all protest. That’s your baby on that ship! Don’t you care? Scream, curse, kick a rock, cry, make a fist, something!!

I will acknowledge that so far, the show has been excellent with giving us emotional payoff, am I right? I mean, just today we got Din laughing, twice. Twice in a row. I honestly never thought we’d see that. There have been so many excellent, precious soft!Din moments this season, and they all feel deliciously earned.

So, from a meta POV, I guess I’m saying that I have faith in the writers to get it right, and in Pedro to deliver. Duh.

In universe, though, I think it’s fair to point out the obvious - that Din is a pretty reserved guy. He’s much more of a thinker than a feeler. He’s used to keeping things bottled up, and I would even argue that his life often depends on his ability to dissociate from his emotions. Din’s entire journey so far has been about how one little baby yodito shakes his worldview to its very foundations. He’s getting there, but it’s a slow process. 

And also, consider this - we haven’t seen Din alone yet, not since Grogu was taken. For a guy who lives a guarded life literally encased in fucking armor, any display of emotion is going to be carefully protected until he’s in private.

But anyway, Din is detached, rational, a little emotionally constipated, and definitely comfortable in a stressful situation. A true ISTP if you ask me (yeah, I know you didn’t, but whatever). Often, it seems that these cool headed, logical types who have never ruffled a feather over anything in their lives are the least adept at handling genuine fear. In other words, when panic does strike, it strikes them hard. 

And guys, Din was definitely panicking during this episode. 

He’s clearly unsettled from the jump - that outburst of “dank farrik!” in the cockpit sells it, and his distress only becomes more obvious from there. Talking out loud, trying to convince himself that the best thing for Grogu is for him to be trained as a Jedi. Reminding himself of the creed. His overt caution as they approach the seeing stone. His impatience, “Are you seeing anything??”

Then there’s the effects of long term stress. Sure, a bounty hunter in the outer rim doesn’t exactly live an easy life, but Din is definitely used to the drama being on his terms. Compare Din’s body language in the opening scene of season one to when Boba confronts him in chapter fourteen. You can just feel the anxiety, the weariness, the frustration. Din has been on the run for months now, constantly looking over his shoulder, sleeping with one eye open. Notice how he even startles at Fennec’s voice? Season one Din would never have given that much away, regardless of the situation. Long term stress has clearly taken a toll on him.

So we have unsettled, stressed out Din in an emotionally charged situation. He’s exhausted, he’s scared, he’s desperate. This scenario is a recipe for even the most level-headed of adrenaline junkies to loose their cool, and that’s exactly what happens to Din. He panics, and he makes some pretty big fuckups because of it. Leaving Grogu unprotected, twice. Trying three different times to break through that “force field,” even when he knew he couldn’t. Dropping that jetpack and then just forgetting about it (I know we were all screaming about that one, or at least, I was).

So, fear is a positive feedback loop. Those neurotransmitters that do us good in a bad situation - raising heart rate, narrowing focus, shunting blood to the muscles - can also be detrimental if we get too high of a dose - tachypnea and tachycardia, inability to think critically and see the big picture, lack of blood and oxygen to the brain. Epinephrine, in particular, even inhibits the laying down of new memory pathways. In other words, stress leads to poor performance, and poor performance leads to more stress, which leads to... you get the idea.

Then, in the middle of all this chaos, they fucking blast the Razor Crest.

More epinephrine, more cortisol, more stress. 

By the end of it all, Din is a fucking shitstorm of stress hormones and pent up emotions. Notice how he seems to be on autopilot in the immediate aftermath, robotically scanning the ashes of the Crest for anything that might be left intact. Notice how empty his voice is when he says, “the child is gone.” This is a dead man walking. Din has nothing left. His whole life has just gone up in smoke, and he can do nothing about it. 

Guys, Din is holding onto his sanity by a fucking thread in this scene. “The child is gone,” he says, like he’s reminding himself, grounding himself in his shitty reality. He’s stunned. 

And helpless. There’s literally nothing he can do for Grogu. He has no ship, no credits, no resources, nothing to bargain with, nothing to offer. Din literally cannot allow himself the luxury of feelings right now. He’s just got to focus on surviving this very shitty day.

Then, Boba Fett upholds his end of the deal, and suddenly, Din has something to hold onto. An ally, a badass friend, some hope. I don’t think Boba shows Din that chain code in order to verify his claim on the armor - he’s already wearing it, for godssake. I think Boba shows him the code in order to catch Din’s attention - hey friend, I know you’re hurting, but I’m a man of my word. When I make a vow, I keep it. Let’s regroup and go find your kid.

And Din would totally latch onto that. A fighting chance? Din fucking leaps at it. There’s a job to do. A kid to save. All of those stress hormones are going to keep on stewing, because Din has never really come down from his adrenaline high. 

It’s like this in real life, too. There isn’t time to be afraid. There isn’t time to be sad, or second-guess, or say, oh how terrible, or wonder what if it doesn’t work? There’s just you and the job, and if you are the only thing standing between life and death, you will put everything else aside and do what you have to do, for as long as you have to do it.

And that’s where Din is at this moment. He’s running on the fumes of his adrenaline, all tempered focus, all strategy and no bullshit.

Emotional shock, my therapist buddy calls it. Apparently, it’s normal. Expected, even.

But guys, the fallout of this kind of crazy ass adrenaline high is insanely intense. I’m talking collapse to the floor, legs won't hold you, trembling, crying so hard you sling snot, shuddering breaths, stare dead-eyed and spent at the ceiling because you’re just too wiped out to even sleep kind of intense. 

And then, after the breakdown comes the angst. The detailed thinking. The oh god, what if this had happened, or, should I have done that instead? It seems like every emotion that gets put on the back burner in the moment comes back to bite you with twofold intensity when all is said and done. 

In other words, Din is definitely going to feels some things .A lot of very intense things. A reckoning is coming, my dudes. Trust me. It’s just not quite here yet.

That being said, here’s what I can expect from Din going forward:

Just like he’s is slow to acknowledge his growing parental feelings for Grogu, I think Din’s going to be slow at processing his grief at Grogu’s loss. In the next episode, he’s got plenty to distract him - getting together his hit team to take back the kid and coordinating an attack on the empire. 

However, I do think we’ll get a slow moment with Din, probably sometime at the beginning of next week’s episode if the pattern holds. I doubt it’s the full-blown breakdown that we’re all needing, but I’m willing to bet money that we’ll see Din grappling with the fact that his kid is gone. I also think that badass beskar murder machine Din from chapter three will resurface. Stress and desperation make us do irrational things, and anger is one of the stages of grief that Din will inevitably have to work through (I think he’s flickering between denial and bargaining for now).

But then, after Din gets Grogu back? I think that’s we’ll have our big, dearly earned emotional payoff. 

For one thing, Din won’t be able to deny his feelings anymore. He wants to keep this kid, it’s so very obvious. Losing him just forces it all to the forefront. 

And then the relief/joy/regret/guilt that Din is going to feel once he’s got Grogu back? Not to mention the physical exhaustion? All of the fear/terror/angst/grief that he ignored in favor of just going pedal to the metal, guns blazing, get the kid or die trying? That shit’s going to crash into him with all the subtly of a fucking tsunami. I guarantee you, we’re going to get some sort of confession, or adoption vow, or face revel, or other sort of profound softness from Dad!Din in the falling action of this season (At least, I hope we get it at the end this season but I wouldn’t put it past them to kick it into the premier of season three, just for pacing reasons, but then again, I obviously have trust issues).

Personally, I would love to see Din grappling with the long-term fallout of losing Grogu - night terrors, guilt, paranoia, etc. That’s probably the stuff of fanfiction - mandalorians don't have nightmares on screen, surely - but still, some lingering effects Grogu’s kidnapping would be realistic, and I would absolutely live for it.

[aelin-queen-of-terrasen]

𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫

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The next morning found all the townhouse residents asleep, Celaena decided to take her leave of her brother—how she marveled at the word—through a note, citing prior obligations that needed to be attended though he was welcome to visit her in the evening if his duties could spare him, which she left with the efficient butler, who assured her the message would be delivered. The ride back home was unexpectedly short considering the roads were teeming with entourages of families returning from their country estates for the London Season or ladies running off to modistes to have their wardrobes updated with the latest fashions before the invitations started rolling ko in.

Her relief at returning was great, though she purposefully hid from her parents—or her elder sister, Eleanor—attending diligently to her correspondence. It was a miracle the stack of letters thinned at all, considering how preoccupied her mind was. Two hours after the torment of trying to focus on her letters, Celaena gave it up in favour of returning Countess Lieven's visit from last week. There was a considerable difference in age, personality and social ranks between them but both enjoyed each other's conversation, and the russian ambassadress was excellent company. Celaena did not expect to find the woman alone—the countess' drawing rooms rarely ever were—but she did look forward to sensible conversation about politics and such and was thoroughly displeased to find that esteemed lady attempting to look interested in Lady Jersey's—another lady patroness of the Almack's and a social leader whose favourite pastime was gossip—rants about the latest love affairs of Lady Caroline Lamb, and Mrs Burnwell among other ladies, who though a sensible lady did not look much pleased with Celaena, though she could not tell if it was because of her rank or her public insult to the lady's beloved niece—Lady Perrington—at the dinner party the other day. Despite the former's thrice professed hatred for the topic, Lady Jersey lament about Caroline Lamb extensively and with all the knowledge of one well-informed of her activities. The other ladies listened keenly and with interest, and by the end of their visit, Celaena felt she knew Caroline's social life better than her own and the countess looked ready to pull her hair out.

"I cannot stand her hypocrisy," said Her Ladyship once they were alone, "condemning Caroline—as obnoxious as she is—for her 'love affairs' when her own mother-in-law is so infamous a mistress to the Prince of Wales. If she thinks it is different just because the Royal House of Hanover is involved—oh, I cannot countenance her. It is a pity she should be such a public figure that I cannot avoid her, or I should happily see the back of that one. Come, my dear," said she, noticing her friend smile behind her teacup, "you came looking for an enjoyable half hour and were instead subjected to gossip and derision. You cannot have anything to say in Lady Jersey's defence?" this said with a tone that indicated she did not know how anyone could have anything to say in Lady Jersey's defence.

"I cannot defend her, but I can understand why she thinks the situations are different—it's not because the prince regent is involved, but rather Caroline's utter lack of discretion. I could easily forgive her affairs if they caused harm to no one but herself, but alas, as it is, her husband's standing in society is affected by her behaviour." This was said in reference to Lady Heathcote's ball in July, 1813 where, after being publicly insulted by her—former?—lover, Lord Byron, she had slashed at her wrists with a broken wineglass and only her mother-in-law Lady Melbourne's prompt thinking and quick intervention had kept her from serious harm. When it became clear she had no suicidal tendencies, the whole affair attached such a ridiculous air to all the parties involved, it could not have been in anyone's favour.

"You would condone her actions if she were only being discreet?" asked Countess Lieven, surprised.

"Perhaps not condone, no," said she, "but I would not object to them. Really, she and her husband are both adults in a marriage that is less a marriage and more a business contract based on terms and conditions. If both decide between themselves that the other can look for love—or rather, a lover—outside their household, and if they can manage it discreetly, what is the harm in it? Viscount Melbourne admits himself he does not care for his wife, nor she for him. If they must remain in a marriage neither wants, I do not see the harm in looking for satisfaction outside with both spouses' consent."

"But you would not act in the same way in her place," accused she.

"If my marriage was more like hers?" she wondered aloud. "I would hope to reach an understanding with my husband we can both be happy with." Seeing her friend look unconvinced, she said, "Really, I strongly believe that if something makes you happy, you must ask yourself if it harms someone? If it does not, I would not hold myself back out of respect for society's ridiculous edicts; not at the expense of my happiness."

"Adultery would be a disrespect to one's marital vows."

"Oh, certainly," agreed she, "but are they not already disrespecting their marital vows by vowing to love each other? I would rather a husband and wife live by an arrangement that keeps both happy than be miserable trying to respect marriage vows they never truly meant."

Countess Lieven who herself was faithful to her husband—a rarity among the upper ten thousands, whose own marriage was arranged and who lived—if not happily, than in a content state of harmony with her husband, could have nothing more to say on this subject, so she steered the conversation away from it. "I suppose you are thinking of the Whitethorns when you mention that example? I admit I was surprised to hear from Mrs Burnwell earlier Mr Whitethorn appreciated your company so—oh, do not be offended, dear—it is only that I have never seen him appreciate anyone's company at all, though I say he has fine taste if he does indeed show you preference."

Celaena had been thinking of him in relation to the subject, but denied it. "I do not think their troubles can be solved simply by taking lovers." Celaena put her teacup down and leaned forward, more to stop drinking the overly sweet concoction than to show interest in the subject. "I had the impression those two do not get on because she is not suited to the duties his rank and station entails and he is not equipped with enough knowledge or patience to know how to guide her in it. They are bound by constraints of society in a marriage that makes both miserable."

Countess Lieven looked at her speculatively before the subject was dropped.

A perverse curiosity drove her to mention meeting Mr Galathynius and Lord Fenrys, which had the happy effect of inducing the countess to volunteer information about that family.

"The House of Galathynius," said she, "has been suffering from a lack of inactivity. Lord Rhoe lost a child some years ago and has not been the same since. His father abdicated his title after a severe bout of influenza in their county, but he soon recovered. The damage was done; Rhoe, the poor man was not prepared for the title and his estates and position suffered for it; now his sons take care of the properties while he pursues politics. The grandfather constantly battles them for power but he does not have half the influence as Viscount Layton—that is the elder brother, hardly social at all, so solemn and reserved but he is a responsible man. Far better than the rakes and dandies of town spending their days in the club, neck deep in debts of honor."

"Viscount Layton? I have not heard much of him at all, aside from his fondness for the written word."

"So you would not, for Galathynius is a name that does not appear in the tabloids often. The younger son does not have the trademark grave countenance of his forefathers—he inherited the ashryver charm from his mother and the elder is so antisocial, he hides himself in the country. For two boys who lost their sister and mother at an early age and were brought up by an uninterested father, they grew up to be fine indeed."

"The Countess of Narrowcreek, yes. Mrs Burnwell told me she was a fine lady."

"Lady Helen was, not pretty but so well-mannered and polite! She died of fever an year after her daughter, though some say it was the heartbreak that killed her."

"They are a big family, are they not? You said something about the ashryvers? I met one of them."

"Yes, the cousins," said she, "fine young men, all either determined bachelors or trapped in poor marriages. The ashryvers don't have their Galathynius cousins' impeccable reputations but the natural ashryver charm easily accounts for that." The Countess smiled knowingly and she shifted in her seat at the silent implication that she was interested in one of them—god forbid—and not wanting to further this idea, Celaena was obliged to put an end to this line of inquiry and introduced a generally neutral topic of conversation. Though Celaena was far too aware of the speculative look on the countess' face everytime she looked at her, the visit ended pleasantly on both sides, with one party anxious and the other intrigued with the subjects of conversation introduced.

That afternoon, Celaena was admitted into Lysandra's modest apartments by a housemaid who bade her to wait in the drawing room. Impatient to her own detriment, she thought nothing of barging into her friends' room and was wholly unprepared for the sight she was met with.

"Oh, no," said she, stupidly, "I-I came to talk, I didn't know—Captain Ashryver, I-I-oh."

Celaena flushed, prompting the colonel to fish for his clothes while he clutched the bedsheet in an attempt to cover his lower-half. The poor man looked ready to fling himself off the nearest cliff, which soothed her mortification somewhat. Like all englishwomen of respectable birth, Celaena had a suppressed but prurient curiosity that was only encouraged by the books available in her father's well-stocked library. Her odd fascination with the ladies of the demi-monde had been one of the initial reasons she extended an acquaintanceship with the courtesan who was now her dearest friend, though she soon learned to love the lady for her own merits. However, all education in that area did not prepare her for exposure to such a sight. She colored, gaped, stammered an incoherent excuse about needing air and fled the room. Her distress increased when Captain Ashryver stepped out of the room first, properly dressed to the boot.

He bowed formally, which seemed absurd given what had passed before.

"Captain Ashryver."

He flushed. "Miss Sardothein. It is—it is actually Colonel Ashryver now."

Celaena murmured vague congratulations, studiously avoiding his eyes. "I thought you were still with the army, sir, in Brussels—I am surprised to find you here. Do you know yet how long you will stay with us?"

"Six months," said he, looking away.

"Aedion," called she, startling him with her address of his given name, "I hope you know you are as dear to me as a brother. If there is anything you wish to talk about, I would happily listen to you."

Hesitation warred with trust in his eyes, and he looked cautiously towards the bedroom.

"I will not betray your confidence to anyone," she assured him firmly.

Aedion looked at his hands, blonde strands of hair falling in front of his eyes. "I was offered a posting here in London and—and I am not sure if I can accept it."

"It must be hard," she observed, "to give up a career you spent half your life pursuing."

"It is, and yet, it is not the only reason. I didn't choose to go to the army—I—when my grandfather found out about my inclinations," this word was spat out with enough venom that she knew what he thought about the man, "he sent me there and I accepted it as my lot, as if I were a second son. I don't know if father knows why I insisted on joining the army but, gods, I did belong there, with my men—there were some others from aristocratic families like mine who hoped any unusual proclivities would be beaten out of us there. It was just part of a job—killing people was not a good thing or a bad thing—it just was. But I was at Hougomont, Celaena," this being one of the chateaus in the village of Waterloo, "and by God, I never saw so much death as I saw there, so many friends dead, their wives widowed, their—their children orphans. I did not—if I have to see a war half so drastic as that again, I do not think I will survive it."

Celaena reached for his hand, frowning. "Then why hesitate?"

"I did not go there by choice; he—my grandfather, that is—forced me into it and he will not be pleased if I am against him. If he decides to cut off my allowance, on a colonel's payroll alone, I will not have nearly enough to pay off Lysandra's debts."

"I can help with that—"

"No." His voice was soft, but firm.

"Aedion, don't be foolish. You haven't much choice. You said yourself you could not survive another war and I could—"

"I said no."

"Pride goeth before a fall, colonel."

"Pride!" exclaimed he, looking resentful at the implication. "It is hardly that. You know what Arobynn did the last time you tried to pay off those debts—and whatever you can spare from your allowance, you need to save for your own future. Lysandra is not the only one bound to a monster by law."

She did know, but because she felt like being difficult, Celaena scoffed. "Say what you mean, sir. You do not wish to have help from a woman. If it had been a male friend offering instead, you would have jumped to accept—"

He threw his hands up. "You are putting words in my mouth."

"I am saying what you are too proud to admit out loud."

Aedion did not take the bait, replying calmly that he would not save one of his ladies from the Hamel's fire only to throw the other in it. Celaena could find nothing snappish to say to that, but having gotten over her own embarassment, she was determined to be difficult. "This is all well and good," said she, "but I hope the next time you will lock your door."

"The maid knew to leave you here," argued he. "If you had followed the instructions—"

"Instructions!" cried she. "This is not an army camp, colonel, and I am not a fellow soldier under your authority."

"I say, a good thing you are not. You have not the discipline for a soldier's life."

"If all your men are as disagreeable as you, I am happy to have missed the chance." Clamping down on the very inappropriate desire to stomp her foot on the ground, she turned her face away. "At least I am well-mannered enough to not lay blame on others for my own faults."

"Fine manners you have indeed, walking into someone's bedroom unannounced."

"The door was open," argued she, weakly.

"The latch broke last night," he flushed and she decided she did not wish to know how. Celaena felt a pair of accusing eyes fixed on her. "But the incident was a fitting punishment for you—I hope you will think twice before doing that again."

To no one's surprise, they retreated into a calm silence while their tempers cooled off. Both were impulsive and hot-headed, too similar to never fight and too prideful to give in, and they had surprised everyone—including themselves—by striking up a lasting friendship that had suffered through time and distance. Propriety dictated an unmarried woman could not write to a bachelor, so she had her father address it for her; society said they would be ruined if they were found together without a chaperone, so they started meeting in each other's homes, where they could not be found at all; decorum demanded they speak not a word of love untill the gentleman offered marriage—and that the lady should not at all say anything but a polite yes, so they talked of everything but marriage. Their showdowns with each other were frequent something to watch—and friend was not at all an ideal title to assign to an eligible gentleman; it raised many an eyebrow at balls and dinner parties where the Colonel was so attentive to her, and all felt certain a marriage proposal was not far away. Speaking materially, it would be a splendid match—with his rank as the penniless second son of an earl—and her, an accomplished society woman with an inheritance big enough for all to overcome the worst of their prejudices about trade. It would have been a splendid match; if he wasn't taken and if she was more amicable to the idea of marriage, that is. Celaena thought guiltily of all he had done for her, fending off suitors determinedly like a dutiful elder brother all the while pretending to be one, and she wondered shortly what he would say if he knew who she was. Did he know her brothers, or Lord Fenrys perhaps? He would be sceptical at first, she knew, and then he would be pleased she was close to being free of Arobynn's shadow. Celaena looked up to do something—to tell him perhaps or to apologise? But there, he had his eyes fixed on her already—his eyes, thought she, were turquoise blue ringed with gold. Oh.

Celaena rose from her seat, saying unsteadily, "Forgive me, but I just remembered I have an appointment at my modiste."

"I can drop you—"

"No, no," she was already out of her seat, donning her cloak, "I came in my carriage. Pray, tell Lysandra I will return tomorrow."

The carriage ride back home was so short, she hardly felt it. Celaena had not much time to ruminate on her present realisation, but she felt stupid at her distress a few minutes ago. Her new family—a reality which had seemed like such a surety this morning—was now shrouded in doubts. Aedion had not recognised her as his cousin for years, and if he who was practically her mirror image by all accounts, did not, no one else could be expected to believe her claim by one look at her face. But what other proof had she? It was with near trepidation that she entered her house, and was happily recieved by her brother who had been waiting in her parlor for a half hour.

"I thought," said he, "I should personally come to you with an invitation to a dinner party tonight at my home—our home, rather. I should like to reintroduce you to relations who are already in town—they have all been waiting so long, Aelin, if you like? You are acquainted with most of them already, and I know father wishes to apologise."

"He does? I hope he is feeling better after that—that attack." Celaena thought ashamedly how little consideration she had given him except to worry the others might follow his lead, believing her to be a fortune huntress.

"He is," assured James, "He refused to believe me when I told him—and then to see you, looking so much like mama, he was overset. But he is fine now, and very remorseful, dearest. I hope you will not hold that first impression against him for long—we had all quite lost hope, and it seems fragile still, like I would look away from you for a moment and you would disappear into the mist, he was being cautious."

"I will try my best," she promised in an attempt to appease.

Celaena knew she was blessed with a handful of attractive features that compensated for the majority of average ones; and, by early adolescence, she had discovered that with the help of cosmetics, these average features could easily match the extraordinary assets. Vanity she had always acknowledged freely to be her chief sin after pride, and she felt her nerves ease at the familiar ritual of having herself pushed into a pretty dress, her hair tugged and pulled before an event. By the time she was dressed in a fine evening gown of soft pink muslin, golden curls pinned atop her head with diamond pins gifted by her brother—a family heirloom, apparently—she was almost beaming on her brother's arm. In the carriage, she distracted herself by asking him questions about his involvement in the House of Lords, their father's health and had the immense pleasure of hearing him talk about meating Madame d'arbley who wrote Cecilia, which had been her favourite novel since she first read it. The talk soon turned to the night's guests and she inquired after their identity.

"You already know Fenrys and the younger Mr Whitethorn; Fenrys' parents will be there, as will our father and Rowan's parents, his elder brother is out of town and his younger sister, Mrs Parkinson and her husband could not attend, and the little Whitethorn boys will come too; though their mother holds the traditional belief that children should eat in the nursery until they are fifteen, so I do not know if they will be present at dinner."

"Rowan—that is Mr Whitethorn's given name, yes? I met his children before," said she, "in the park yesterday. They were sweet, well-mannered boys."

Her brother allowed it to be so, regaling her with anecdotes of their youth and Celaena felt she had never spent a half hour half as entertained before.

"Really, Rhoe," said Lady Meave, rising from her seat, "you are being absurd. I would think thirteen years of grief would make you accept it, but you are starting to grow more deranged with time."

The family members had all arrived a half hour ago when Rhoe explained the purpose of the meeting. James believed that the family would be informed of the situation before meeting Aelin so the element of surprise would not bring out ill-mannered reactions and accusations like this one and Rhoe had agreed to do it himself as the head of the household, though whether he did out of obligation or out of a desire to redeem himself in Aelin's eyes, Fenrys could not tell. Their cousins had more or less recieved the news with good grace, curious but tentatively delighted. The Whitethorns were curious, though Lady Mora expressed her delight at the news repeatedly and tearfully. Lord Jared was more reserved in his congratulations—a reserved disposition was a Whitethorn trait—as was his son, Rowan, who seemed more curious than anything else. His wife made incoherent noises about how nice it must be to be surrounded by all of one's relations, which made her husband stiffen. It was public knowledge Mr Whitethorn's relationship with his mother-in-law was contentious. She was a widow who lived in her father the earl's home, infamous for her very public affairs with Lord Shuttleton and the Marquess of Mowry, and did not have much regard for propriety or morals. The Earl had recently sent her back to live with her relations in Scarborough, prompting Mrs Whitethorn to insist her mother be invited to stay indefinitely in her home instead, an idea which Mr Whitethorn did not approve of. This served to increase the tension between the mismatched couple, and that Mrs Whitethorn seemed wholly unaware of it only served to aggravate her husband more. Fenrys was saved from replying when Lady Meave having finally processed the news, loudly and fervently denied it.

Rhoe did not look at all perturbed. He said, "We thought Aelin died, because we found a girl's dead body—which was unrecognizable—and an anklet near it. I am now ashamed I did not once consider it might not be her, for if I had, perhaps she would have been with us—but I do intend to make up for the lost years, cousin. I believe the anklet we procured was either circumstancial evidence or a delibrate cover-up. I have hired private investigators to look into the matters, though we have not much hope, but as it stands, I believe—no, I know—Aelin is alive and will be joining us all for dinner. Oh no," he added quickly, holding up a hand to forestall their aunt's objections, "This is not a discussion where Your Ladyship can pitch in her own two cents. If you are not prepared to acknowledge Aelin, you may see yourself out."

"You are putting a lot of faith in a fortune-hunter."

"Really, my lady," interrupted Fenrys, bemusedly, "I have met the lady on three occassions before; I can assure you she looked like an ashryver—"

"That proves nothing!" cried she, acerbically. "How do we know she is not one of your father's by-blows, hoping to extract a fortune? You are the one who put this whole idea in James' head—so perhaps, perhaps you are in cahoots with her."

"Sister!" exclaimed Mora, wide-eyed at the acid spewing from her mouth.

Poor woman—bless her gentle heart—looked scandalized her sister would even think those accusations, let alone voice them out loud. Rowan patted his mother's arm, looking pained while his father turned all sorts of blue and red. Lord Jared was offended on the behalf of his dearest friend—Fenrys' father, the Earl of Bedford. To Fenrys, the idea that his noble, stuck-up, proper and prudish father would have a mistress—let alone a bastard child—was laughable.

"Hold your tongue there, Meave," chided Lord Jared disapprovingly. "This childish petulance does not become you."

"You believe him?" Seeing none of them deny the accusation, she said, "If you are determined to fool yourself, please do. I will have no part in the downfall of this family." And so saying, she turned on her heel and left.

"If anyone else has grievances with this new discovery," said Rhoe, "they may join Meave in her self-inflicted banishment from my homes."

"Oh, Rhoe," said Lady Mora, defending her sister. "I hope you will forgive her. The news was very much surprising, and I think she was much surprised. I am sure she was only being cautious to save you from one she thought was a fortune hunter. We are all very happy little Aelin is back." Fenrys thought he would not assign so pure a motive to his other aunt's outburst but Mora was a compassionate soul, incapable to think meanly of others so he let the statement go unchallenged. Before the silence could turn awkward, he heard Colonel Ashryver say dryly, "Well, at least when Aelin comes, we can assure her there is no lack of entertainment here."

"If I recall, she was rather fond of drama as a child," agreed he.

"No, no, that was Fenrys," said a voice in the doorway. "Aelin just liked to follow him in whatever he did." James looked affectionately at his sister, escorting her inside.

Aelin smiled at Fenrys who kissed her cheek. "Welcome home, Aelin."

"It's Lady Aelin now, sir."

Two different voices called 'Miss Sardothein?!' though no one paid them much attention as Lord Rhoe stepped forward tentatively in front of his daughter.

"Aelin," he said.

Fenrys tried instead to look at Rowan and Aedion, both of whom were gaping inelegantly but failed, eyes repeatedly snapping back to Aelin who was watching the old man warily. She returned his bow with a curtsy, then rose on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Father."

Lord Rhoe said tearfully, "Oh, Aelin."

"It is all forgiven," said she quietly, in response, "I was surprised too."

He was almost disappointed when Aedion interrupted the father-daughter reunion. "You," said he accusingly, turning to the lady of the hour, "You knew the truth this morning?"

"Yes."

"You didn't tell me."

"With all the commotion of the morning—which by the by was your fault—I did not realize," said Aelin. "And when I did, I was too surprised to do anything more than flee."

"Wait," said James, suspiciously. "This morning? I thought you were to attend your business affairs this morning, Aelin."

Aedion's face flushed, matching Aelin's in it's hue. "Yes, well," she said, "I had, uh, some calls to return."

"You called on Aedion?" asked Fenrys, surprised.

It was terribly improper for a gentlewoman to call alone on a bachelor, but with her formerly a tradesman's daughter, Aelin did not bother to stick with the more ridiculous edicts of society; she would not have accepted their dinner invitation if she had. Besides as far as he was concerned, Aelin could grow two heads, murder someone or dye her hair lavender and he would still consider her perfect. Fenrys did not know about the others but he had missed the little spitfire terribly; pranks were not nearly enough fun without her trying to stifle her giggles by his side.

"I did not call on him; rather, on a friend he too was calling on," she defended herself. Her face was red.

James narrowed his eyes, looking between them. "You are courting each other!"

"Heavens no!" said Aedion. "Believe me, you have nothing to fear on that account." At the look of mock-offense on her face, he smirked. "You are not half as pretty as you think you are, Cel—Aelin."

"Did I permit you to address me so informally?" she asked primly. "Considering I look almost the same as you do, my appearance is not something you should be disparaging, colonel."

Rhoe huffed in amusement, "Yes, well, come along, children, there are others waiting to be introduced."

And so they did, though Fenrys could tell James was not yet convinced there was nothing between the two. Lady Mora was every bit as pleased as she had claimed, greeting her cousins' daughter with pure delight. Lord Jared was more formal, though not at all unkind. Mrs Whitethorn had a distracted air towards her, though she did smile pleasantly and Fenrys could detect no animosity in her. It was Mr Whitethorn—Rowan—whose reaction surprised him the most. He looked—pained, almost—which did not quite make sense, though perhaps that was just his discomfort with strangers shining through. The civilities were only just exchanged when the butler announced dinner was ready and the whole party proceeded inside in an informal order, Rhoe ditching the normal propriety edicts in favour of leading his daughter into dinner. He seated her at the opposite end of the long, mahogany table as himself, in the seat reserved for the mistress of the house.

Aelin's answering smile was a lot more genuine than before.

Dinner passed almost pleasantly, the seven course meal enough to sustain the conversation for some time and if the silence ever stretched, it did not stay long. With fine conversationalists like Fenrys and James at the same table, and with Aelin's lively manners the atmosphere was merry enough to overcome even the infamous Whitethorn reserve, Lord Jared expounding passionately on the fine horses in his stables on such occassions when provoked. Mr Whitethorn talked animatedly of books—but only with Aelin and only when she delibrately directed her statements to him—and even Mrs Whitethorn ventured a few shy remarks here and there. They were in the best of spirits when in the middle of the dinner by the end when the men stood up to retire to the study for port—a traditional seperation of sexes following dinner—when the door opened. The poor butler hastily entered the room behind the new addition, struggling to keep up with the man's but determined to follow the protocol, announcing to the room between pants, Viscount Preston, Lord Edward Galathynius of Graceview.

Celaena's fork clattered on the floor; her eyes were fixed on the dark-haired man, curls just barely pushed away from his face. A light pink tinted his cheeks and the tip of his nose—a result of the biting wind outside—and dust clung to the lapels of his overcoat, white cravat almost coming apart. Edward's eyes so identical to her own were entirely cold; he bowed formally to the dinner guests and she had the impression he had stormed inside unaware of them. He did not see me, she thought, embarassed as he was at having the attention directed at him. Edward's eyes went over the crowd in a quick movement and he murmured polite greetings—until they caught on her and her heart thumped wildly inside her chest. Edward's noble mein was intimidating and his features arranged neutrally and she worried the boy whose memory she had clung to for years was but an illusion until he whispered her name 'Aelin' with a quite awe and muted wonder; for the first time, it felt like hers. Then he choked on a sob; Aelin was running at him and he had his arm around her, a movement so natural like he had been doing it all his life.

Aelin buried her face in her brother's neck, trying to commit his scent to memory.

"Shh," said he, lovingly, caressing her cheek with one hand, "Please don't cry, dearest."

"You smell like horses," said Aelin, tearfully. "It's making my eyes water."

Edward threw his head back and laughed, a sound rare enough, she could feel her cousins' surprise from behind them. He sighed quietly, a small, contented noise that made her smile. "I missed you, Aelin, though I know I have no right to say that. Had I done something differently—"

"Ridiculous man," said Aelin, tenderly wiping the tears from his cheeks. "James told me you were not four and ten; what could you have done? I have long since learned not to regret what has passed and make the best of my lot. I had a good life, brother," she told him, squeezing his hands, "if not a perfect one. I—I was brought up with an education no lady recieves. It suits my disposition perfectly and you may call me selfish but I am happy I had that chance—though I wish we had more time together."

Edward smiled softly, "We have all the time in the world now."

"Perhaps not all the time," she teased with an imp-like grin, seeing the whole table's attention fixed on them, "After all, you are in dire need of a bath and if I am forced into your vicinity for another half hour, I shall faint from the horror of it." Edward too stiffened, and she realised the extent of his shyness. "Refresh yourselves, sir," ordered Aelin, in her best haughty tone, and had the desired effect of making him laugh, "and when you are ready, you may call for me. I will bring a dinner tray to you and we may talk all we like."

Edward bowed gallantly. "I am but your loyal servant, madam." He kissed her cheek and she detected in him a hesitation to leave.

"I will not go anywhere," assured Aelin, smilingly, "I promise I will not."

Edward formally took his leave of the dinner party and retired to his rooms. Aelin collected herself, joining the ladies with an enthusiasm she did not feel.

No one commented on the happy tears that flowed from her cheeks.

tags: @thesirenwashere // @courtofjurdan //@little-crow-corvere // @the-dark-swan // @queenofgreenbriar // @clockworkgraystairs // @julemmaes // @rowaelinforeverworld // @mymultiversee // @queen-of-glass // @strangely-constructed-soul // @mijaldraws // @http-itsrebecca // @aesthetics-11 // @lord-douglas-the-third // @flowersinvegas // @towhateverend17 // @aelinchocolatelover // @justabunchoffandoms // @cool-ish-nerd // @faerie-queen-fireheart // @sad-book-whore // @didsomeonesayviolin // @atozfantazyxx // @hizqueen4life // @the-gods-killer // @booknerdproblems // @annejulianneh111 // @firestarsandseneschals // @b00kworm // @mysweetvillain // @moondancer-204 // @thesurielships // @witchling-leonor // @ladywitchling // @amren-courtofdreams // @ifinallygavein // @jlinez // @faequeenaelin // @df3ndyr // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato // @bitchy-knees // @superspiritfestival // @xx-fiona-xx // @stardelia // @maastrash // @miihlovesnoone // @totenhamboys20 // @sanakapoor

[catcherofmonster]

Flowing Stream

requested: no

People involved: c!Wilbur, c!Tommy, c!Philza (mentioned)

Warnings: angst :), crying I guess, swearing, drowning mention, panic attack

Notes: what’s this? Something that ISNT an x reader/& reader? Yep. This was inpired by this post! Sorry if it’s all over the place, I tried to get my thoughts together but they ran away from me in this one lmao

———————————————————————

After all those years.

He could feel the tears try to nudge their way to run down his face.

He wouldn’t let them.

Not while there were so many people around. After all, he did have an appearance to keep up.

The tall and slightly intimidating man stood in front of his brother and his friends, looking as composed as ever. He wasn’t facing them. No. He was facing the skyline.

His own personal sunset.

The rays gently caressed his face like a past lover.

The thought of her alone almost made him break. He couldn’t though.

Not now.

Later.

“So, Tommy, I had a think, right?” He finally spoke. “I had a think, I've made some plans, I- I- I've debated with myself about what I should do,” he takes a shaky breath and turns to face Tommy.

“And I've made my decision what I need to do. Tommy...” he lets out an airy, yet awkward laugh before continuing. “I'm sorry.”

“...what- You gonna kill me?!” Tommy shouts at the man.

“No! No- no, sorry, ignore- ignore the Lore-sword, I'm...” he laughs again. There was nothing funny about the situation, but he needed to fill in the space with something, anything.

“I'm just- Ah, I'm not good at this, man... I- I need to make some apologies. I told you I needed to have a think. And I don't think an apology would ever sum up, uh... what I did here.” He turns and gestures to the deep hole that used to be a thriving nation. A nation that he fought and died for. “I mean... look at this mess. But like...”

“You did this.” Tommy pipes up, before back tracking a bit. “Well, actually, not all of it. You did a little bit.”

“Yeah, I didn't do the glass.” He waves off the comment as he continued. “But I think- I think I do need to, um... I need to apologize to some people! Y'know, I've gotta make amends! I've gotta make amends, and I- I promise that's- that's true, I know- look at me! Look me in the eyes.” He turns to face Tommy, a demanding tone flows into his voice. “I know it's- I know it's hard to believe when you look at me that I... I- Y'know, I've turned over a new leaf! Turned over a new leaf! Y'know?”

————

It was much later.

He was alone in L’Manburg, having sent Tommy off to collect some stone for him back at Phil’s place. Of course Tommy didn’t necessarily know that he was doing this for him, due to the fact that he delicately crafted his sentence to make it sound more of a challenge than anything.

It was getting all too much for him. The years spent alone on the dark and damp platform were finally catching up to him. He took small shaky breaths as he made his way back to where he had died.

It seemed fitting to return to the place. He had vague memories from Ghostbur of when Phil, Tommy, Tubbo, Eret, Fundy, and that new guy, Ranboo tried to revive him, instead they got Glatt. He remembers Glatt boarding the train. But it’s hazy after that. It’s been so long since then.

The dark had become a constant. Somewhat comforting, in a fucked up way. The dark didn’t betray him. The dark didn’t hurt him. But it was lonely. So lonely.

He sinks down against the hard jagged stone walls surrounding where he had pressed the button. There was no one around. After all, who would want to visit a detrimental relic of the past.

That’s all he was now. A relic of the past.

The tears gave him no warning this time. They fell down his face in steady streams. He curls upon himself and presses his back against the wall.

That’s all he was to them.

Some old, explosive relic.

The more that he thought about it, the more he spiraled. Deeper and deeper into his own thoughts. They were drowning him. The tears wouldn’t stop. His chest heaved for air, trying to calm himself down. His cries were mixed in with the gasps for air, though they were a bit quieter. The thoughts wouldn’t stop either. It was all too much.

Being isolated for so long has its effects on people.

[bitegore]

Alright then, send me the weirdest, most obscure metal you've got. For...someone who is definitely my friend and NOT my headmate. Nope. Not at all. Definitely not almost 50 rats in a trenchcoat over here

Oh for sure, okay.

Midnight (band), recommended songs Rip This Hell and Fucking Speed and Darkness - some sorta traditional-ish high energy metal. good food. eat it. This is lots of screaming.

Dear Agony (band), recommended songs Snakes, Claustrophobia, Hate Me Too - alt metalcore in unusual keys; i've genuinely very rarely heard other music in the same keys as they work. Not all their music has screaming but most of it does.

We Are the Empty (band), recommended songs Alone in the Snow, Kings and Clones - similar to Dear Agony. Expect screaming.

Red City Radio (band), recommended songs Show Me On The Doll Where The Music Touched You, If All Else Fails Play Dead - punk with metal elements (i think. idfk punk) that's been In My Head recently. Doesn't have that traditional "metal scream" vibe but sure as hell isn't clean vocals.

Reliqa (band), recommended songs Mr Magic, Doomed, Eventide - pop... punk... metal? ? i ?? i don't know but they're good. Not screamo.

Sworn In isn't obscure at all but they're good Mental Illness Metal. Straight metalcore, pure screamo with heavy guitar.

Arka'n (band), recommended song Prince of Fire - french tribal metal i. think. i don't really know what genre they are either but they're good. Very melodic. Lots of neat beats.

I See Stars (band), recommended songs Murder Mitten, New Demons, Ten Thousand Feet - techno metalcore, screamo with neat glitchy effects

Blind Guardian is also hardly obscure and neither is Kamelot but if you like one you'll like the other.

Gojira (band), recommended song Born In Winter - one of those obnoxious prog metal math bands but they have good music anyway. Somewhat more on the classic-metal end, heavy focus on the guitar to the almost detriment of the vocals in the mixing.

Tanya Tagaq (artist), recommended song album Retribution - ... i can't put this into words. Uhhhh it has vibes. it's good. Eco-metal with a heavy focus on vocal noises and like spoken word but make it scary. The closest thing i've ever heard to "horror music" that i also wanted to go to sleep to (this is a compliment).

Red Sun Rising (artist), recommended song Fascination - whatever genre Tool is, this is like that but like to the left a little.

Might add more later, I have to shut my computer for now. let me know if you want a ping or anything if/when i do, and/or i can just like message you a link or w/e. If your friend who is most certainly not your headmate vibes with some and not others let me know which so i can pick out the ones that are like that for ya

also okay listen chronzookie is just like evil static. it's not metal it's just noise that hates you. chronzookie's self titled album fucks in a "i hate listening to this and it hurts me, turn it the fuck up" kinda way. if you like metal in the sandpaper-on-your-ears-on-purpose kinda way, you will maybe like it.

secondary honorable mention to Motionless in White for doing the most badass non-metal-sounding cover of the killers' Somebody Told Me in spite of being a metalcore band (that is, for the record, pretty good). Worth listening to that if you ever heard the original song.

[buddha-in-disguise]

I have so much to unpack from last night's Supergirl episode. Since it ends at 3am UK time, I often tweet a little before I finally fall asleep. But it is now midday, so here goes on further thoughts on it all. I know this is going to be pretty rambling but I hope it makes sense.

First. Up until this half of the season, not only did Supergirl consistently trend in the UK, so did other words associated with it, most notably Kara and Lena.

Since 5B began, the trending has failed to materialise in the UK. The hiatus of two those blocks almost immediately on top of each other hasn't helped, but it is still a salient point.

Now for the rest. I'm not even sure where to start, but I will try my best.

The opening scenes in the bar.

No Nia. No Kelly. Where were they? Nothing was even mentioned. It wouldn't have taken much to have Alex say if Kelly was working, or running late. Anything. Hell, they had Kelly/Dansen and Nia meet up in a bar scenario in 5A. Why suddenly are they not there? They wouldn't necessarily need dialogue (I mean, Kelly has barely had any since Crisis anyway, so what's new?)

Yet in walks William and suddenly Alex is teasing Kara about inviting him. Winn is also there saying, hey it's okay. You barely know the guy, you had a shitty relationship beforehand, but go ahead, date the dude.

We had a prime opportunity for the Danver sisters to do karaoke together. Instead it was with William. At the expense of sister time (so many would’ve loved the sisters singing together).

So much here is wrong for me as a viewer.

If you have a show about female empowerment, yet the lead of that show is having to be told by others that dating a guy she has barely shared any positive moments with, let alone any romantic feelings for beyond a really awkward moment the episode before; that is not empowering a woman.

All too often Supergirl (as the lead in the show) is looking at dating, but not being capable of making her own romantic choices without the interference from others around her.

The only one I can think of who didn't need that was S1 James and to some degree Adam. Kara showed interest, but ultimately made the decisions on her own. Kara also recognised that with Winn, they were better off as friends. Yet S2 began and inexplicably Kara and James had broken up, and the need for Kara to get told to go for it by others began.

Mon-El was extremely problematic. As is William. Both were allowed to lie, to treat women like garbage at times with immunity. Yet here is another double standard. Kara and the Superfriends lied to Lena for 3 years, yet Lena is a bad person for reacting. I will repeat what has been said I don't know how often about Lena's reaction. It isn't without issue in how she is dealing with it. She isn't evil, but she has handled it badly. Her own emotional trauma, that was partly unpacked in 5A helps though explain why she behaved as she has.Yet, Mon-El faced no consequences for his actions. William can be a complete nightmare in how he treated Kara in 5A, but all is suddenly forgotten about or forgiven because of the reset? That is a cop out if ever there was one.

This hypocrisy is what annoys me the most, and frankly it is misogynistic all too often.

I actually pity any woman who believes it is okay for a man to behave as many do towards Kara. The message it sends is awful. I know the men in my family would be horrified by the actions of these love interests. I know of some men watching the show who feel the same way.

As for Lena and Kara. The trauma both have faced has shaped them. Yet Kara appears unaffected by losing her world a second time when Earth 38 was destroyed. On losing Argo. Sure they got it back, but as a changed merged World. You expect us to believe having to watch an antimatter wave destroy those you love has no effect? That being trapped for months with only the other paragons and Lex didn't cause trauma, even with a positive outcome. That seeing Krypton destroyed the first time wasn’t traumatic enough. That’s not something that just goes away. Add in losing Jeremiah, losing Astra (again), the trauma Supergirl must face when she can’t rescue everyone, that has a lifelong impact.

Lena has shown her emotional trauma has also been lifelong, albeit in a different way. To dismiss the emotional abuse Lena has suffered to attack her actions now is pitiful. Winn even suggests to Kara, that in the future, Lena does come through this, and isn't evil personified some want to make her out to be.

Yet Mon-El gets excused, William gets excused. Ugh. I’m sick of the double standard.

So, let’s unpack this further. Kelly Olsen was in the military. She wasn't just trained, but had an active role in the army. She recounted an event at a checkpoint where she was serving in S4. So she had active service, and it was in that moment when Kelly decided she wanted to help others more.

Kelly also knows the stress of keeping an important part of your life secret. She then also fell in love with a woman, someone who was her Sergeant, who was then killed on patrol (another reason we know Kelly was on active duty). It devastated Kelly who hadn't even told James of her relationship.

Later, upon completing her service, Kelly became a psychologist specialising in trauma.

Nia is also someone facing problems. Not only did her becoming Dreamer lead to discord with her sister, as well as the tragic loss of her mother, she has problems with Brainy. Nia offered to be there for Kelly when she was upset over watching Alex get hurt, but we saw nothing to suggest they had a heart to heart. Azie posted something that suggested they filmed a scene that did this, but it never made it on the final edit. Instead, once again we had William taking screen time.

So anyway, the point of all this is: guess who is placed to actively help Lena and/or Kara with the problems?

Kelly. Who apparently doesn't know Kara is Supergirl yet. So while Kara wonders if she should tell William, she could have the exact same conversations with Alex, only substitute Kelly for William. Overall, the plot could easily be maintained, and the established cast get good solid and plausible screen time. She could even talk to Nia about it, yet doesn't.

Another thing I find hard to understand is why haven't they used the link of Kelly, working at Obsidian North, where they could establish the Leviathan link.

If Lex has made the connection to Leviathan, you are telling me, even without Brainy helping them, Alex, Nia, J'onn and Kara haven't made the same connection? C'mon. Two investigative journalists, one who has won the Pulitzer, two DEO trained agents, and if Kelly was brought in, someone military trained; aren't able to make the connections? J'onn has all those computer banks in the tower, and while none of them are Brainy or Winn, he can't use said computing power? Why bother having it, if they are only props in the background. They could even ask Lena to help, since she has shown willingness to work with them if the reasoning was good enough. Leviathan is someone she knows (after all, Lena could have her memories returned by J’onn too). She knows the danger Leviathan poses. She could use the leverage to still get the lens from Obsidian in a similar way to now, but through Kelly if needed.

Actually, if they are using the tower, how does J’onn afford to pay for all this? I can only assume being as old as he is, he made some great investments over time, allowing him to be independently wealthy? But again nothing really suggests this.

Oh as for Alex leaving the DEO, great. After all, she was the Director but hasn’t been able to lead the DEO in all that time. Let alone some of the morally grey areas the DEO skirted around all too often. Still, where will she get her income from? Does she get paid as part of J’onn’s PI firm? Kara barely makes rent and food costs (at least she says her apartment is rent controlled so wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise), so no way can she afford to help Alex out financially. Kelly might be able to support her, but again I cannot imagine it would be sustainable.

I feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

Onto Nia. I've said this a few times now, but here I go again. Back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense. What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

Instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in 5A, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex. Why do they need that journalistic pairing of William and Kara, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist. As the saying goes, make it make sense!

As for Lex. I love Jon Cryer. I’ve loved his version of Lex, but once again I feel Lena is just as well placed to take on his role in bringing down Leviathan. Why add another villain to this plot? We were told it was Leviathan who were the bad guys for this season, but once again we barely have a glimpse of them, but all the screen time on Lex, also to the detriment of Lena. We could be using this time to begin to mend Lena’s relationships with not only Kara, but the Superfriends. Instead we are getting bit and pieces, that seemingly bear little resemblance to the ‘fight for Lena’s soul’, or the ‘Stronger together, weaker apart’ tag lines the SG team used to market the series in 5A. (See attached photo). So again, this is frustrating for us to watch, as there is absolutely no cohesion to the storytelling. We know it is the ‘nothing is as it seems’ season, but to have no really coherent storylines so far this late on? It is baffling for me.

The sidelining of Nia and Kelly also brings to the fore the way the LGBTQ characters are being treated.

Dansen feels like a long lost legend from the mists of time. As I said earlier, there was a perfect opportunity for a Dansen scene in the opening part of the show, yet we might as well watch tumbleweeds fly past, for all the screen time Dansen or Nia have had. Well, rather haven’t had.

It seems we shouldn't ask for justification as to why William is on the show, but when we say the LGBTQ characters are being sidelined, that it doesn't matter one jot how diverse a cast can be; if said cast are not being given credible storylines or screentime, and if we say as much, we have to continually justify why that is the case. We get told to take what we are given. To insist on better, is oppressing white CIS men (in some cases CIS women have argued the same). This isn't oppressing anyone, but asking that if we get given relationships, given characters we want to invest in, they get the storylines to accomplish that. Supergirl is failing the LGBTQ audience so badly at the moment. So many have the same complaints it is ludicrous to suggest this is just one section of a fandom or trolls.

What I'm taking from all this at the moment is that 20% of the main viewing demographic as per GLAAD figures (and more besides, as I've seen straight viewers recognising the problems as well), have serious concerns with Supergirl.

But keep telling us we are overreacting. Or we should take what we are given. Or that we are delusional. After all, it is the kind of crap we have sprouted at us continually away from Supergirl, why shouldn't it be the case here.

I look at S4, heck even 5A, to what the show is doing now and it feels like an unmitigated disaster. Episodes are running out fast, so even if they increase Dansen, or Nia's screen time, it won't be enough to make up what has been lost. They're running out of time to give us a solid ending that ties up the mess they've created.

I really don’t know where this will end? CW Supergirl - do better. You have some phenomenal actors and actresses in your cast. Do them and your audience justice. Because right now you aren’t at all.

[executare]

How does Carvel react to the death of people he cares about? Like, does he take it really hard? (Heavy, raw crying for days/weeks, deep depression, feels like a knife went through his heart, possibly a personality change, etc) Does it take him years to move past it? Or maybe he locks up and avoids it for a long time? (Like the kind of person that would keep a beloved pet in a freezer for months and not move the pet's items because they don't know what to do or how to feel. They just kinda avoid thinking about it and keep everything as close to unchanged as possible.) Maybe he can only handle a little at a time before he shuts down? Maybe he gets angry? I doubt he's one of those people that isn't deeply effected in some way. He seems too passionate for that.

I’ll start by saying first and foremost that you are correct with your lattermost assumption. Carvel is an extremely volatile person even on his better days (at least pre-ascension Carvel is worse for this fact than post-ascension) and so he is an extremely reactive individual, whatever the emotion. He is always going to be deeply affected by things like loss. At it’s absolute worst, grief sadly manifests for him in a state of near madness as Carvel himself puts it, in saying that “like a mad man, he searched for her” to describe his desperation to recover Eve’s reincarnations. Though the stages of getting to that point go through some noteable patterns I’ve observed in his responses to relationships and loss of all natures, not strictly love (in my own interpretation, that is.)

The initial stage of grief is purely reactive; he goes through immense anger and pain which can sometimes be destructive in nature before he mellows into anguish and mourning, which is where the fits of crying, screaming, sobbing etc. manifest the most abundantly. He is, to begin with, very expressive in his grief. The second stage albeit is a lack of reaction. He turns almost numb in his depression, does not wish to speak, does not wish to drink and does not want to do much of anything at all except be alone with his thoughts and his pain, though not knowing in the slightest what to do with it. Pain therefore is usually answered in pretty nasty self-punishing tendencies in that regard whether he actively realises he is punishing himself when he’s already at his weakest or not. Essentially, he indeed shuts down but to his own detriment. He might still be functional but he’s not entirely present.

The next stage is plain and simple mourning, where he may somewhat return to his normal life, but it’s obvious he is carrying a lot of hurt with him; and Carvel mourns for an incredibly long time. His grief over Eve is the most extreme case as he has been tortured with her lives and deaths over and over again, though that is not to say that Carvel would not grieve for lengthy periods over less consistently traumatic losses either. This is also a period of retreat in the sense while he is able to resume being around others, he can’t bear being close to them and can become hostile when forcibly pulled from it before he himself is ready. Even in the cases where he has recovered enough to be both functional and sociable, people touching on those raw nerves in the wrong way can still set him off into a state of hostility and defensiveness.

Even after his ascension in an era where he is much more in command of his emotions and his temper, I know that losing something precious to him will be enough to tip the scales in that regard.

[writingwithcolor]

I'm a POC who writes mainly white characters but after seeing all the "diversity" posts on this site I'm wondering if I may be subconsciously prejudiced and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been doing everything wrong and yet I don't want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

To Write (or not write) with Diversity

No one can force you to write inclusive stories. Inclusive meaning media that consists of marginalized people, because that is what diversity really is - including people who have always been right there, but have been purposefully left out and erased from the pages of books and scripts. Those who are, when finally represented, are overwhelmingly assigned small, unflattering, and / or stereotypical roles.

Pages like Writing With Color are an offering. Our presence here is for those who choose to write with diversity. We aim to make being inclusive easier because we all believe in the importance of it. But as much as we know how enriching diversity can be, we cannot convince you to do something you don’t necessarily believe in.

Don’t do it because you feel forced

As you mentioned, you’ve read the posts. You know the facts. The decision cannot be forced upon you.  If anything, including diversity out of obligation alone could lead to bad representation. Forcing people to do things without motivation usually means it’ll lack effort, or be done with spite. Trust me when I say marginalized people don’t usually want to see themselves represented by someone who does not want them there. That unwelcome feeling shows. In short: Lack of representation hurts. Bad representation hurts worse.

I only ask that you have accountability.  

Now that you’re aware that your works default to white, you have a choice to make. I think a lot of us grew up reading and writing very white stories - both as PoC and white people - but once you possess the knowledge that things can be different, your next step is a conscious one. You’re not on auto-pilot anymore when you make everyone white (and/or straight, able-bodied, etc). You know better now. Own up to your choices.

So ask yourself: why have I chosen to write without diversity?

I’m afraid to write People of Color. 

Being uncomfortable writing People of Color is a big reason why people stick to writing white people, and only garnish their stories with PoC, if that. White people have long been the default, the everyman. White perspectives are “neutral” to approach. It’s daunting to go from feeling you can portray characters in whatever way you wish to suddenly having the weight of good versus harmful representation on your shoulders.

You don’t want backlash from getting it wrong. You also don’t want to be insensitive to groups. It’s easy to avoid writing them altogether, right? Sure. 

Be aware, though:

You’re making a choice to exclude people out of fear.

Of course, new things are scary. But that’s okay! Courage is the ability to do things that frighten you. Face your fears. Will you shrink away from the challenge, or use it to your advantage?

Let the fear fuel you to do better and to know better. Your concerns about writing PoC can drive you to get the research right in order to best represent people. If your fear is leading to more effort into thoughtful creation, you’re putting it to good use.

Let me tell you right now - you will mess up.

Maybe in small ways, perhaps in a big way. But mistakes will not kick start the apocalypse. Ideally:

Do your research to avoid the most obvious and devastating mistakes from the jump.

Equip yourself with the right beta-reader and sensitivity readers to catch those things. 

Even with errors, your story can be quite enjoyable for people who hardly see themselves represented. Yes, mistakes and all.

As a Black woman bookworm, if you write an exciting story about a Black girl on adventures and falling in love but mention a few questionable things about how she takes care of her hair…I will wince, but it won’t ruin the book for me. I’m willing to overlook some things, for the sake of my enjoyment, and let the author know how I felt about those parts in hopes they can improve.

Say you get something real important wrong. People call you out for it. I suggest you apologize, listen to their critiques, and do better. If possible, pull back the story and re-release when you’ve improved the piece. If that’s not an option, fix it in future works. Getting a finger wagged at you doesn’t mean lock up in fear and never write with diversity again. It means you improve.

Research PoC like you would on any topic:

For comparison’s sake, consider writing People of Color (or any group different from you) like writing other topics you’re unfamiliar with in-depth. 

For example: You may know the basics on Medieval England. The knights, royalty, and so on. But i’m sure there’s a lot of misconceptions mixed in there from television or unreliable sources. 

To write people from this perspective, you would do lots of additional research… right?  

If someone mentioned how you messed up on some of the facts, you would take note and dig into it more for the future…right? 

You might even have more experienced persons check your facts for accuracy beforehand to do the best job possible.

Approach researching PoC in the same way as other topics. There may not be hard facts on how to write an X character, but there are portrayals to avoid with explanations why, and roles people want to see themselves in.

I don’t like to be told what to write.

There’s this misconception that writing with diversity restricts creativity. I get it - there are things you’re being told not to do when writing certain groups. The lists of No’s can get dense. This reflects how poor representation has been for People of Color as there are a number of stereotypical portrayals folks are tired of seeing and has been detrimental to them.

Fiction simply reflects real life: People of Color being viewed through the lens of preconceived notions means being written on with those stereotypes in mind. It is a vicious cycle. Stereotypes are more than an annoyance - they can and do lead to real life consequences.

Being treated like a stereotype lowers our quality of life. Experiencing racism and daily microaggressions has a psychological effect - from insecurity, depression and PTSD - it is serious. (X)

Viewing People of Color by their stereotypes is what makes, say, a Black person who speaks with passion no matter what it’s about (and even if they’ve been wronged) too hostile and “Angry” to take seriously. If anything, they’re now a serious threat. And that’s dangerous for them.

Put yourself in the shoes of the overly typecast.

Think of a time someone misunderstood you. You had a bad day and acted grumpy. Well, being a grump defines who you are now. When asked, people describe you as crabby and humorless. Every new person you meet sees your every action through that lens.

Strangers tiptoe around you, as they can just tell you’re ill-tempered. Peers choose their words carefully, afraid of what might spark your wrath. Your children even inherit the title; teachers discipline them more and take other students’ word over theirs- your kids are snappy, difficult, and known to not play well with others, after all.

Wouldn’t that get old? Wouldn’t you feel it was unfair to be reduced to a label, and that you’re sick of being defined by it? Wouldn’t you have the desire to be seen for who you truly are, and can be? Perhaps you do get grumpy sometimes, which is just being human. You’re so much more than a grouch.

Stereotypes are not creative.

Writing outside of stereotypes open up so many more possibilities. How many times have we seen the Black Best Friend play out in media? You’re not being silenced when readers criticize your sassy sidekick. Your message has been heard, loud and clear - again and again and again. People are upset because it’s not anything new - in fact, it is quite old.  We want multiple portrayals. Why not create something new before you decide to write so closely to how we are always written?

OP said: I don’t want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

This should not be the case. Avoiding stereotypes has nothing to do with making unlikeable or even perfect characters. Simply make Characters of Color who go beyond stereotypes! Characters who are best friends without being arc-less doormats. Characters who are fierce and emotional and stand for something without being simplified to irrational, hostile, and angry. 

Knowing the difference between stereotype and culture is important, too. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing something wrong when their bias means they perceive your character as being stereotypical, or problematic, when they’re not. (See: Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception.)  

If anything, writing beyond hard labels leads to complex characters. Writing about new cultures is interesting and can be exciting. 

If you only like your East Asian characters when they’re geniuses or your Black girls when they’re angry without a cause…do some self-reflection. Why do your Characters of Color only seem “right” to you when they are flat, or confined to stereotypes? Why not allow them to be complex humans?

I’m not convinced that representation matters.

Well, representation does matter. A lot. While it has been written on so much, and there being countless studies, statistics, and personal accounts to support this, I would like to mention…

Representation (or lack thereof) lowers self-worth.

Studies show TV boosts the self-esteem of white boys. The confidence of People of Color and girls of all races, on the other hand, decreases when watching TV (X X). 

“If you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves.” -Junot Diaz

The Racial Empathy Gap.

I want to be brief (too late, right?) so let me just mention another point of research for you: the racial empathy gap. Stereotyped depictions and the limited roles for People of Color are internalized by society, leading to lack of empathy towards People of Color and the enforcement of stereotypes in real time. Lack of empathy actively affects how PoC are treated, such as the belief that Black people experience less pain than others and therefore are misdiagnosed (their illnesses and pain are downplayed) and under treated (X X X). 

Fiction Increases Empathy.

In addition to the racial empathy gap, look into the studies on how fiction improves empathy. For example: reading about vampires increases empathy towards vampires. Imagine what non-stereotyped, marginalized depictions in fiction can do for empathy.  (X, X)

The strength in which people are against representation speaks volumes. 

If representation does not matter, then why are some people so angry when it’s there? Let’s take book to movie depictions: 

A Character of Color depicted as white simply means they were the best actor for the job, according to a vocal presence in social media. 

However, even a verified Character of Color being depicted as such leads to boycotting, accusations of being “Politically-correct”, and wide complaints that they can’t relate to the characters and they are poor actors. Never mind that so many Actors of Color attend prestigious schools only to get so far.

The hypocrisy speaks to a need for more representation, and a prevalent lack of empathy. 

The People Want Diversity!

On a positive note: shows that reflect the real world, aka include diversity, continue to get high ratings despite many obstacles: those who don’t want them there, lack of advertising or inconvenient airtime for shows with diverse leads, the ole bait-and-switch method, and hasty cancellations. Not to mention media simply refusing to be inclusive even when they know “diversity sells” (X X). Gee, I wonder why….

Audiences are more drawn to projects that feature a diverse cast, a new study finds, though mirroring the population in the United States remains a problem.

“Less-diverse product underperforms in the marketplace, and yet it still dominates,” said Ana-Christina Ramón, the report’s co-author and assistant director of the Bunche Center. “This makes no financial sense.” 

-Diversity in Hollywood Pays Off in Ratings and Box Office, New Study Finds

Diversity simply reflects the real world accurately. 

There is nothing forced about diversity. People of Color exist in the real world, go out and about, and have lives. Creators including marginalized people only seems strange because media actively scratches them out as much as possible, pulling the marginalized out of focus to zoom in on white characters. That is what’s unrealistic. 

Ultimately, you, the writer, will write what you want. Just ask yourself why you have decided this is what you want to write. Are you okay with that reason? Despite all the progress that is being made, you’ll blend in just fine with all of the other mostly white books and movies out there. And as people become more conscious and bored with the same stories, we can and will choose to ignore whitewashed media.

The good thing is that there’s so much awareness and activism going on with representation; the path has been paved for you and it is not lonely! 

There are resources out there, and WWC continues to be one of them.

More Reading - Diversity:

Braving Diversity: How to Write Yourself (and others) out of your Story  (An early WWC post quite relevant to you, OP)

Diversity exists in the real world 

The Key to Moving Beyond checklisting is not LESS diversity 

Bad Representation vs Tokenism vs Diversity: just existing without justification like in the real world

How to research your racially/ethnically diverse characters 

–Colette