Tumgik
#like I never thought they would actually fully go there but fuck
moonlightspencie · 6 hours
Text
rewatched the update video, read some posts from both people who like and dislike the update, and just finished charlie’s (mo1stcr1tikal) video about watcher. here are my complete thoughts:
Video Execution
i appreciate that they seem to have consulted with a PR person, or at the very least really sat down and thought through their approach with the video.
they didn’t try to boo-hoo themselves.
they used a lot of positive “you language” for the fans (which i very much appreciate as a media and communication person myself)
they took accountability for their mistakes, and actually uttered the word “sorry”. low bar, i know, but many apology videos still somehow slip under the bar.
they very clearly put the focus on ryan and shane in the video. it sucks a bit that they probably felt they had to since much of that was probably due to the negative comments directed at steven, but it WAS a smart move. fans feel most betrayed by the two the majority connect with the most.
it. wasn’t. overproduced. (again, low bar, but it is what it is).
overall thoughts on execution? it was smart. they look uncomfortable, and whether that’s intentional or their true feelings, regardless of why they look so uncomfy, it makes it easier to watch. they don’t look pissed or smug. they look embarrassed. which, in an apology video, is a good thing. sorry to say
The Solution
i think they came up with the best alternative they could after royally fucking up with the majority of their fans.
the patreon solution… mixed feelings. i understand they don’t want to just go forward with one or the other: the patreon or the streamer. however, as ive seen some patrons say, it doesn’t make all that much sense to have both logistically. i think it’s only set up this way because they can’t go back entirely on watcher.tv now. good on them for giving a bit of a fix with the codes being sent to patrons.
i was still lost on how they weren’t “advertiser friendly”, and that’s where charlie’s video came in to affirm my suspicions. go watch his video for more information, but long story short: watcher is a GOLD MINE for advertisers. huge and loyal audience, engaging ads that make the viewer want to watch the ad, and an ever-growing channel.
on the back of the last point: how on earth were they struggling with money to begin with? it simply doesn’t make any sense. they had so many revenue streams & again, DO get sponsors and appear to be incredibly brand-friendly.
trust is still lost with most fans, and that will be hard as hell to regain. the ex-buzzfeed three-guys-on-a-couch model didn’t even work when the try guys were fucked over by their friend and brand trust was lost a little bit. and this loss of brand trust is fully on all three dudes on the couch this time
overall thoughts on the solution? it’s good for what they can do now that they obviously cannot just fully backtrack. that would arguably be a worse idea than the original idea for the streaming service itself. i think this would have worked much better and they would have retained integrity if they had done this from the beginning, and/or had a slow rollout instead of jumpscaring us like that. ghost files is supposed to spook us, not surprise paywalls.
Final Thoughts
a ton of trust was lost. the parasocial relationship that specifically shane and ryan fans had with them, that was the REASON for so much of the loyalty, is fractured, and for many it will never be the same as it was. i understand their fuck up when it came to the announcement was likely just them needing more self-awareness and a professional to guide them through it, but i still question how it got to that point where they felt like their fans would enjoy this to begin with. not to mention, again, how were they not making enough? why not try other options first?
i hope sincerely that watcher truly learns from this. that they remember their business isn’t about money or ambition (in a positive or negative way), but is built on the backs of their fans’ loyalty. without that fan loyalty, buzzfeed unsolved would have been the only thing we knew ryan and shane for. we wouldn’t have followed them to a new channel if we didn’t care about them and their work to certain degree.
it was a good apology video. genuinely. i’m glad they didn’t jump into it with a bandaid solution. i just wish they had the foresight to know their fans well enough to understand that there is NO way this would be well received by the majority. and there’s no going back on that now, obviously. what’s past is past. i hope moving forward that they gain a little self-awareness and that they gain some FAN-awareness. until/unless they start working on television and movies, they have to keep their fans happy. we are the consumer, not the employee, and it feels like they started somehow blurring those lines with the original video they posted. it felt like one of the corporate ‘training’ videos for my job when we start using a new system.
fans are important in online spaces, particularly. we provide free advertising for our favorite bloggers/youtubers/etc., and willingly give up money to support them through various streams (in watcher’s case: patreon, merch, live shows). you cannot exist as a creator online and think that you don’t need to keep your fans happy when it is your source of income. it’s simply how being a successful internet personality works, for better or worse.
good job to the watcher boys on how they went about the apology/fix. i hope things go better from here on out.
47 notes · View notes
bluishfrog · 13 hours
Text
HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!
(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)
This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).
I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.
Tumblr media
I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.
Tumblr media
At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.
Tumblr media
I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.
Tumblr media
Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.
Tumblr media
When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.
(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.
Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.
Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.
Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:
Tumblr media
Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)
Love, blu
53 notes · View notes
uh-oh-its-bird · 2 days
Text
Fuck ok, gather 'round it's time for another fic idea spinning off of a crumb from my last post ab time traveling team Ro into founders era:
Summary:
Fact 1; Kakashi is now 3 weeks the last living Hatake.
Fact 2; Tobirama Senju, according to dusty old scrolls Kakashi finds in his father's study, was apparently half Hatake himself.
Lonley and hurting, Kakashi grabs on to this fact with both hands and squeezes it so tight to his aching heart that his hands bleed.
Or, still processing his father's suicide, Konoha's favorite baby genius finds out he's distantly related to history's favorite baby genius and immediatly starts projecting to cope.
Digging through old journals, history books, Kakashi begins to try his own hand at the man's favorite past time; creating jutsu's. It's the both the hardest thing he's ever done and the most satisfying to date.
Ft.
1) Weirdly chill scene with Danzo (fuck that guy but hear me out) where he kinda looks at Kakashi and sees the hint of the shadow of the man who taught him. Not quite there yet, not fully, but crumbs of it. Enough to make him nostalgic, and enough to hand over an old journal that used to belong to Tobirama.
A calculated risk, he tells himself.
An unspoken challenge, both Danzo and Kakashi understand.
He wants to see how far Kakashi can go, finds himself almost eager to see how close he can come to the shadow of the man he seems so determined to chase.
(and if this side project temporarily distracts him for long enough that Orochimaru slips through his fingers, well, it's not like he knows it was this event specifically that caused that plan to fall through)
2) The fact that, both due to time and the Hatake clan's less than stellar reputation during the warring states era, Tobirama's Hatake ancestry got buried. Kakashi finding him on a dusty old family tree has ✨️political implications✨️ for Kakashi specifically. Ones he isn't all too interested in — unless it means he might be able to access things he otherwise wouldn't've.
Also just general fun surprised Pikachu faces from some people as an added bonus.
3) Kakashi becoming even more terrifying than he rightfully should be at that age !! Danzo pretty much handed him a missile and went "lmao good luck" with that journal! He should not have that! He's learning things! He is experimenting! Someone take the missile away from the baby before he learns how to make his own— oh fuck it's too late hes somehow made a nuke instead
4) Orochimaru poking Kakashi with a stick and vice versa. They are making baby genius <--> baby genius eye contact it's mildly concerning, Minato is concerned. Obito is jealous, he wishes the Snake Sannin would poke HIM with a stick
5) Kakashi bites someone. That's it that's the bullet point I just think he should get to bite someone is all.
And more !!! Im ngl I think I like Tobirama just existing in the fic as as an ever present shadow, super influential in just every single chapter but never actually present. But I won't lie if I'm giggling over the thought of Kakashi finding Edo Tensei and going ".... ok but what better way to figure out this new jutsu / seal than to ask the source directly."
Orochimaru would so help he's having too much fun with this to bother experimenting on children for Danzo. Don't talk to him rn he's having fun with corpses!! No not the corpses you asked him to have fun with, the other ones!
30 notes · View notes
wickjump · 3 days
Note
Hey
What's your opinion on Error x Killer but in a classic→killer thing
Or just sillystring or just virusstreak (their ship names and I totally didn't make up the second one)
Also sorry I keep sending you asks but you're like the only person ever I don't feel extreme anxiety sending asks to Soo um yeah sorry
oooh honestly i haven’t thought of them in a romantic context all too much. i think they can be silly but i honestly prefer them more in a platonic “i’m going to annoy the fuck out of you” way, yk? or even “i’ll make fun of your boss bc i can and he is literally incapable of stopping my overpowered ass” way. they don’t like each other but they like to mess with each other, that’s how i personally see them.
in a classic -> killer way i’d still prefer them as not romantic in the end, but the angst potential is absolutely there. i view killer as, in a way, “worse” than dust in terms of how much he’s changed, you know? like out of all basic classic -> someone else variants, killer is the most changed while dust is the least i think. so on top of error now having to view killer as an anomaly, error would not be able to even see killer as classic in any real way because his personality changed so much. he still has classic’s looks, sure, but unlike dust, he’s not “reversible” or anything like the classic error liked.
it’s similar to how i view destructivedeath but in a much colder way, while error just no longer has an interest and would sulk about it for a good while rather than hurting from afar with an ache that will never leave like reaper would in the context of dd. especially because i cant fully imagine classicerror as sweet and soft or genuine lovers, more like a spur of the moment obsessive x obsessed over crackship that isn’t exactly toxic but the amount of lovebombing and kidnapping raises a good few eyebrows. i love error but he’s kind of a dick without realizing it. i can see classic -> killer being hurt by this though, like oh damn that. that was not actual love huh. oh uh. okay haha
were it not in a classic -> killer past romance way i could honestly see them working better? which is so weird but whatever. probably because without a past romance defining their relationship now, it’s easier to explore how their dynamic is with how killer is now as a person. because rather than the dynamic being past lover turned “unloveable” x insane asshole who cannot possibly love this new version of his lover due to his weird fucking philosophy, it’s crazy asshole with fucked up morals x insane manchild with fucked up morals and i sort of like that better. it’s more equal and doesn’t end up with one guy as a dick nobody likes and another guy on the verge of tears
also dw about asks!! i like them i think they’re fun. any asks i haven’t answered are bc they’re long and i need to figure out how to respond in a way that doesn’t annoy everyone on the plant, or bc i just haven’t had a good answer to give yet. i like asks theyre fun to do and anxiety is overrated let’s have fun
19 notes · View notes
mikereads · 1 year
Text
The last season of Dead to me destroyed me like why ugh. It was harder than Beaches and Thelma and Louise combined fuck! Jen x Judy endgame. They were so in love. Why didn’t they get to live out the rest of there lives together with there children and get there happily ever after.
33 notes · View notes
brother-emperors · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
Crassus, Caelius, Cicero, Catiline, Conspiracy
boy howdy these four sure are something. not featured in this soup of C names, Caesar! what on earth happened here.
Tumblr media
Plutarch, Crassus
Tumblr media
Sallust on Crassus, Ronald Syme
Tumblr media
Patron and Client, Father and Son in Cicero's "Pro Caelio"
Tumblr media
Crassus' New Friends and Pompey's Return, Eve J. Parrish
Tumblr media
Catullus and His World, T.P. Wiseman
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Cicero's Catilinarians, D.H. Berry
318 notes · View notes
pepperpixel · 25 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“put me on a pedestal and i’ll only disappoint you
tell me i’m exceptional, and i promise to exploit you
gimme all your money, and i’ll make some origami honey!
i think you’re a joke!!! …but i don’t find you very
fuuuuuuu~nyyy”
More tagr art!!! Assorted stuff this time! Featuring some cute chibi stuff. Some solo gaz’s, a lil uhhh. Comic of an altercation.. and a very belated Halloween pic I started drawing last Halloween and didnt finish lol. Also featuring lyrics from pedestrian at best cuz that song rllly rlly fits my ver of tak lol.
#invader zim#gaz membrane#invader tak#tagr#iz tak#iz gaz#tak#doodles#there toxic yuri!!! they’re all over the place!!! tak is tsundere insane alien who fueled by revenge it’s gonna be rough!#I think. there relationship would slowly grow and develop as gaz is helping tak w all her injuries#but I think they’d end up having a true true falling out sometime after take fully healed and gets her ship back.#and they’d be split up for a few years maybe? idk how long I’d want it to be. but! yeah.#absence makes the heart grow fonder and makes u realize how fucking stupid u are#and eventually they’d reunite and shit would be better lol#I don’t want them to be at each others throats forever that’d suck lol#theyre just definitely are moments where there at each others throats in the beginning#but they r also moments.. where they both feel true belonging and acceptance. like they never have before… and it blows there lil minds…#I also dO want gaz to go into space at some point w tak cuz that’d be fucking awesome#after they reunite again they can go explore the universe a bit#these r all very half baked ideas btw and also my brains mush cuz ive been drawing all day#so please excuse if said ideas suck. also please excuse all the typos lol#I might change my mind on the them separating idk… or maybe make it a shorter amount of time… idk!! I havent thought thru all this shit lol#it’s not like I’m gonna write a story or actually make a comic I’m just drawing random fanart#I don’t need to have all these thoughts all solidified lol
92 notes · View notes
highlifeboat · 2 months
Note
Winnie: Survived 300 years on one sided romance she completely made up.
Mary: "Romance? Is that a type of a dish?"
Sarah: Requires fresh dick/pussy once a day.
It's hard to be the only one with a sex drive. And a high sex drive at that smh
7 notes · View notes
pepprs · 1 year
Text
hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.
#purrs#the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships#are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings are#PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on#EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!!#the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im done#forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths.#but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole#THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot th#the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i#im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally#never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be a#and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not#regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!#and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that#there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold of#him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely#if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im just#grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help fr#from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effective#effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT#STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT#OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!!#delete later#my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and#compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i#swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD
30 notes · View notes
vogelmeister · 3 months
Text
anyways i saw a video of non dutch people pronouncing dutch names and im proud to announce that two of my characters and one of my coworker's names are there
3 notes · View notes
kennabeth · 6 months
Text
dustfinger: I love all of my children equally, brianna, farid, and [looks at smudged writing on hands] john
#tcor spoilers#HATE that there was no actual resolution this#i understand fully that it can be difficult when your partner's child (who is not also yours) looks like their other parent#feelings are hard to change! sure!#but: roxane is friends with her husband's affair partner. atp he has no right to show any hurt over her remarrying#and that includes taking it out on jehan#he doesnt say himself that theres any resentment (which is odd bc he loves telling us all his shitty thiughts usually; too stressed out#for self reflection right this second?)#but nyame talks about how obvious and infuriating it is#not to say jehan's making it up (i would never never never doubt my babiest boy) but it's bad enough that people outside the family see it#('outside the family' it's his uncle but outside the home ig)#where was i going with this#having a was-hoping-id-find-the-end-of-this-thought-when-i-came-to-it moment#oh right the lack of self reflection made me wonder if dustfinger knew he was acting like this at all#and i was PRAYING for nyame to chew him out over it#there were so many good spots for that conversation too#when df was practically dead for the third time and jehan stayed with him to make sure he didnt actually die#i expected 'i dreamed about you burning alive every night for ten years' levels of dustfinger being yelled at from jehan#and we literally?? didnt get a single chapter from either of their povs at that time?? what the actual fuck man#okay not to be like 'i could write this better' but a way more satisfying conclusion to everything that started#with nyame saying the two of them are so similar#would have been [jehan rightly makes dustfinger feel bad about continuing to be a terrible father] -> [jehan storms off to orpheus' to#'offer' dustfinger in exchange for the book but the adults dont know where he went] -> [nyame comes back and also yells at df#for letting his kid run off and drive home that he really is failing jehan and points out to him their similarities] ->#[df goes oh shit i also tried trading innocent people for a book] ->#[whatever. resolution]#do u see what i mean#his ~apology~ to meggie in book 2 is so good while being in character#and he cant apologize to his stepson? he barely fking knew meggie lmao#says kenna
4 notes · View notes
Text
mental breakdown in the tags incoming scroll past for your own well being
#so like im just WORRIED#cause like what if ive fully just convinced myself i think he's attractive but I actually dont think he is and I'm just jerking him around#and actinf like i think hes cute cause hes the first guy im not even joking basically ever since the ripe old age of 9 except for cameron#idgaf about his privacy he can fuck off but anyway he is like the first guy other than tiny little awkward 9 year olds to show me any form#of attention. and what if im craving it so bad im just convincing myself that i like him? like am i doing that? cause never in my life have#i gotten like those fucking butterflies or whatever around guys cause ive never been around them much so ive always felt so awkward around#them and just ignored them. like i even have a hard time talking to my male coworkers and looking them in the eye. and i just make up these#scenarios where every single male coworker that ever showed me any form of attention is actually secretly going to fall in love with me and#its like FUCK is that just all I'm doing? pretending? on both ends? but then i have to tell myself that my anxiety is more often than not#full of shit. but like ive craved attention all my life and what if im juat latching on to the first guy that gives that to me? i don't#wanna be that asshole. im just scared. how does everyone just date people? i thought for a while i may be ace in some way#but im also just wondering if i repressed myself that fucking much from literally age 6 that it did that much damage to me? cause ive always#been weird about myself and my body and things like that and i vividly remember wearing a tank top at age 6 in school and being freaked out#the whole day that i would get dress coded. i need to unpack this in therapy hardcore. cause i was also sa-ed when i was younger but i can't#exactly remember how old i was.#but i just think ive always repressed myself and pushed all of that down to the point that i dont know what it feels like? cause i watch#movies and read books and listen to music qnd im like hmm thats never happened to me something must be Wrong With Me.#thanks for coming to my ted talk#im so fucking nauseous#is that butterflies lmao#🎸
3 notes · View notes
florenceisfalling · 1 year
Text
like idk. i miss seeing content from s.igne (though i respect gab wholeheartedly). i miss fanart from my favorite artists. i miss older eras of j.se at times (and yes, there were older eras, the way people pretended he Never Changed is just weird). i miss old anti designs. i miss the old fic trends. i miss having a very active fandom (though i am so happy to see the new arrivals) and i miss seeing him interact with fans the way he did on tumblr back in the day. i miss the way i used to interact with some of the blogs here before i decided to fuckin,,, wage holy war and make enemies out of them (joking, but i have seen sides to some of these people that i wish i could tear out of my memory). i miss feeling confident that i could trust the good intentions of people here and even the big man himself (not god. that makes sean sound like god. you know what i mean). i miss when some of you weren't so fucking bitter which is funny because i'm the bitterest bitch alive. idk. i don't think it's bad to miss any of these things because i'm not going to be an ass and act like it's anybody's fault. i'm not going to be bothered by gab for being happy because i'm glad she is happy, and i'm not going to get bothered by sean taking a reasonable step back from this hellsite when people were cruel to him, and i'm not going to get mad at trends for changing because that is how time works. but i do miss things and i know its cringe and parasocial and perhaps even problematic but i hate having to pretend like i never have Any feelings about the past lest i break a hypothetical rule of what is the Normal level of attachment to an online community. okay. i think i'm done now.
#one of my favorite writers left because they couldn't deal anymore and one of my favorite writers turned out to have shit views and one of#my favorite writers left because of something that was partly my fault and one of my favorite writers stopped writing because of two of the#others and one of my favorite writers hurt someone i love over and over and over and one of my favorite writers left because they were the#someone i love. two of the big names hate queer folk that don't align with their ideals and half the artists left for twitter or for dead.#the man himself left because criticism always becomes cruelty and people lie to make themselves feel good.#the editors all turned their accounts private and my favorite told me on livestream that i was good and starting somewhere but then forgot#my name. and i thought maybe i was the bitter one but then i look at some of the other people who have been here so long and wonder why#they even bother anymore because they care more about complaining with everything j.ack does than anyone who actually enjoys his stuff.#and you know i poked fun at *** for a lot of things. some deserved some not. and one of them was the fact that she compared fandom#to warfare. and yes that's still silly i don't think it's a fair comparison but i do know that she wasn't fully wrong.#when you've been here for a long time and ive Been here for a long time you start to get really used to names and faces#and the change can be like waking up to a new wallpaper in your room. not a bad one just a new one.#i don't want to pretend that this fandom is just a silly little hobby for me when lets be honest i know some of yalls personal lives a#little too dearly for that. ive loved people here ive lost people here the first person who showed me this place fucking DIED and i still#lose it sometimes over the fact that he would have loved jameson so much and we couldve been closer friends had he stayed alive a few more#years. so yeah. sorry for being fucking cringy or whatever but there have been times where i've felt like im on a sinking ship watching#everybody else row away and i refuse to go. so like. cool. cool. im glad things are good again but i never really got to process the bad#things.
8 notes · View notes
leatherbookmark · 1 year
Text
i had op blocked so ray’s rebloggathon was tragically Absent from my dash but now that i caught up, *hyeju voice* el oh el
#and OF COURSE it's this user lmao#and OF COURSE they have a piss poor grasp on jgy as a character#'jgy setting up a 10+ year scheme that would allow him to reach the highest possible power in the cultivation world' lichrally did not#happen. like of course you think wwx is Morally Better than 90% of the characters if you see them as those villainous caricatures#(also the idea that wwx is the protagonist because he's morally Good and we're supposed to root for him is amazing#because idk op's country nor its curriculum but we read crime and punishment in high school. books where the protagonist has Something#Wrong With Them are not some kinda advanced shit you have to go through an initiation and a blood pact to see. its high school#'well Y is bad because everything they've ever done is bad and evil. meanwhile X is good because everything they've done was either#good or fully justified or forced onto him by the circumstances' is op aware how silly this sounds#jesus the more i scroll down the more bullshit i see. jgy antis are notorious for pulling shit out of their ass and trusting our number one#source of information sect leader yao but this is just. very funny. jgy's decade+ plan of killing people to achieve the highest position in#the jianghu. the way they believe 100% that jgy has killed jrs. the way they clearly got the sect he exterminated for jrs's murder mixed up#with the he sect that was murdered for xy yes but UNDER JGS'S RULE. it's all there!#'i really don’t think i’m reading the same book as some of these people' are you reading the book though#shrimp thoughts#ok i'm gonna go to sleep but gosh#the funniest thing is that people aren't even fully condemning wwx for doing the fucked up shit he did. i've never seen anyone insist that#wwx is actually the villain or that you're supposed to hate him. just that he had his moments of unnecessary cruelty#WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE wc and wlj killed everyone in the lotus pier i understand fully why he'd go there. but the same understanding#is not being extended to jgy and his cruelty is being used as a gotcha re: why he's actually the worst evilvillain who doesn't deserve#sympathy. and like bro no they are BOTH exhibiting unnecessary cruelty because they're driven by fury and hatred for people who ruined thei#lives. they're sitting at the same fucking table! but noooooo wwx is an angel. come the fuck on
6 notes · View notes
semercury · 1 year
Text
Screaming along to songs in my car can unfortunately only do so much
#stuff sarah says#the world is so scary and im so scared like i dont think you get it#i am frozen with so much fear at the thought of everything and how unbearably complicated life has become#and everything is micro and idk how else to put it? just. microlables microtransactions micromanaging#i hate it all so much#and theres so many boxes? and they keep getting smaller and i just? maybe i dont want people to put me in a box#maybe i dont want to check a box maybe i dont want to round up my transaction maybe i dont want#microplastics. thats another one. theres fucking microplastics. in my teabags.#but maybe i want people to stop looking at me and assuming they know me bc i barely know me#i would like to just exist. i hate taxes. i hate wanting to throw up when thinking about talking to people about things#i hate hate hate worrying about every word that comes out of my mouth#i want people to stop using therapy lingo in daily conversations and also everyone needs to stop fucking yelling#i havent been taking my thyroid medicine and im so cold and i wonder if thats affecting my mood too#anyway what do you think happens when we die? like i know what a lot of people think happens but what actually happens? you know?#is any of it...? like? you know?#im going to start crying ha ha ha#i watched some sad episodes of a show. also i maybe started my period#i never fully know anymore when it starts. my body is fucked lmao#why am i typing all of this? i dont think anyone should actually care about any of this#idk i just want things to be simple again
2 notes · View notes
neverendingford · 2 months
Text
.
#tag talk#just realized the intense depression and associated anger issues and intrusive violent thoughts are prolly related to the Lamictal I starte#I was like “I don't think I need this don't think it'll help but I'll try it for science” because I'll try anything once#and uhhh. I went to go to bed and realized there was a bowl with food tucked into my bed covers.#laundry all over is one thing. that's kind of normal. but food in my bed is massive warning bells so I was like uh oh that's real depressio#so anyway i messaged my dr like hey I think these meds are making me feel so fucking lethargic and despondent and also I want to kill peopl#because I would just stop taking them but I'm willing to see what she thinks.#also my current psychiatrist is really great and I like her a lot idk if I already talked about her but she's really cool.#the first one I got was an absolute dick and was passive aggressive towards me and also straight up lied in her notes about me?#said that I had said I'm not sexually active and like. bitch where did I ever say that ever that's literally untrue and you wrote it down.#like. I don't think medical professionals are supposed to lie about you actually that's kind of a big problem#also she was like “I'm not seeing adhd here at all” and wanted to do a full on adhd diagnosis before trying any meds for it#whereas my new person was just like “oh you don't have to talk about being adhd it's pretty obvious to me” and I was like kissing you kissi#ng you kissing you kissing you kissing y#but yeah. I don't think I want to keep taking these meds and I think I'm just gonna take the meds I have to today not the short term ones#some days I just don't need my adhd meds or I would rather feel my normal relatively unproductive self.#still gonna take the ssri and estrogen obvs cause those need to keep up levels in my body and also duh I wanna keep my E levels up#but the others nah my body is super sensitive to meds (or any substances tbh) so I need a break from them today I feel really unbalanced#I did have my gf deadass ask me “should I be worried?” when I mentioned the violent intrusive thoughts and I was like no no no no it's fine#because like. I've never genuinely hurt someone fully impulsively like that. it's all thoughts it's all in the head#I'm not gonna kidnap and murder and dissect anyone it's just theoretical situations my brain likes to fuck me up with.#but it does kinda suck to have people around you inherently mistrust you because of how your brain works.#my brother told me a while back that he locks his door at night because he's worried about me and you do know how fucking hurtful that is?#the person you trust enough to move out and move in with is afraid of you enough to lock their door at night.#not like that would stop me if I genuinely did try to hurt him obviously. interior door locks are a joke.#but like... that someone would hear you talk about intrusive thoughts and genuinely think you capable of them to some extent.#idk that hurts a lot.#I wish I weren't like this.
0 notes