#like YES FUCK YES OH MY GOD. THIS IS MY WHOLE GOAL IN LIFE

[animutate]

i love it when i remind people that things exist i love it when i start talking about an interest to someone adn it makes them nostalgic tgat is literally the best thing w=you could tell me ever

[writingstoraes]

total swiftie 🎶

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: this was requested but somehow i cant find it in my inbox :(( anyway i hope u like this, anon! happy the eras tour 🤍 sorry this took so long lol

about: it's your life mission to convert charles into a total swiftie.

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, isahernaez, carlossainz55, and 234,592 others

yourusername i once believed love would be burning red — but it's golden, like daylight 🌅

appreciation post for the personification of the lover album, songs and the entire english vocabulary are not enough to express how much i adore u 🤍

(ps. pls join me in being a swiftie baby)

tagged: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc As much as I want to, I just can't grasp the folklore love triangle, amoúr

f1swift LMAO NOT THE FOLKLORE LOVE TRIANGLE??? Y/N SO REAL FOR THIS

lecsmidnight absolutely right queen charles is such a lover album

sainzz55 more like 1989???

pierregasly I caught Charles today watching the Bejeweled music video if it helps 😅

charles_leclerc MATE

yourusername awwww baby :((

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, and 1,329,112 others

charles_leclerc Spontaneous adventure around the city at night + my passenger princess ❤️ (She races me for the AUX and blasts Taylor songs the whole ride in her efforts to convert me into a swiftie)

tagged: yourusername

yourusername anddd how am i doing so far?

charles_leclerc Getting close 😘

leclercs13 y/n converting charles into a swiftie is just so real of her

carlossainz55 Just be a swiftie Charles, Midnights is so good 😁

yourusername SEE YOU GET IT CARLOS

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, leclerc_pascale, lorenzotl, and 1,892,330 others

charles_leclerc How I masterminded my way into catching my girlfriend by surprise with the fact that I actually am a Swiftie:

1. Adore how passionate she becomes when talking about her favorite artist

2. Let her rant about album theories, which "Taylor's version" we get next, and finally listen properly when she explains the folklore love triangle

3. Learn Taylor Swift's entire discography, from debut until now

4. Pester the whole grid in helping me get The Eras front row tour tickets

5. Surprise her with the concert tickets and just watch her have the time of her life (surprised that I know the lyrics to the songs)

6. Just when she thinks the night ends at the concert, take her to a magnificent dinner and propose using a "Paper Rings" reference.

isahernaez Oh my god the big surprise is finally here! Congratulations, you two 🥂

lecs13 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE LAST STEP IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT

sainzzhero charles proposing what the actual FUCK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

danielricciardo ...I am so honored to be the one who got the tickets (me and my fast typing skills)

landonorris You only got those cause my computer lagged 😒

carlossainz55 You two arguing I was literally the first one on the website

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon23, pierregasly, and 507,991 others

yourusername i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings, charles_leclerc 💍

except you actually got me a real ring, but i would have said yes as long as it's you. je tàime, my love 🤍

charles_leclerc Excited to spend the rest of my life screaming Taylor Swift songs in the car with you, baby 😚

c2legends such goals im going to cry

charles1655 GOD ME WHEN

lewishamilton Congratulations, Y/N and Charles 🥂 Swiftie Charles is a refreshing new side of him hahaha

carlossainz55 Best wishes, you two! Please remember: I was the first on the ticket website. Don't believe whatever Daniel says 😁

arthur_leclerc Welcome to the family, Y/N! I also want tour tickets 🙏

--------

tagging: @slytherheign

notes: this took some time to make lol ANYWAYYYY thank you so much for reading and lmk what u guys think! 🤍 tumblr is giving me a hard time right now apparently the formatting is weird in ios devices 🥹 like the bold texts are all off n shit and it wont let me fix it 😭

[its-time-to-write]

Hey!!! I hope you are doing well and with all life’s downs you have more ups!!! You’re a fantastic writer and love your voice! If you are willing/interested in could you write something involving the reader watching videos of little Jamie (like when things Georgie would have recorded of him at youth matches or school plays or just Jamie being a cheeky little bugger) and either it’s happening back at Manchester or a little career throwback video thing because he won something big or it’s like his 100th match at Richmond and the reader is helping put together this video to play for Jamie

Hey! Yeah I am doing well, just mega busy bc of holidays and everyone needing therapy and whatevs. Hope you’re well as well🩵🩵

play it back

“So he was always a little shit, huh?” you comment. You’re sitting on Georgie’s couch as you help her convert videos from old cameras to her computer.

“Oh yes,” she laughs. “But such a cute little bugger. Had the whole neighborhood wrapped around his finger.”

You click through videos, landing on one of him sitting on the grass. He’s not quite one, but he’s sitting up and clapping his pudgy hands.

“Oh my god, I can’t with that face,” you groan. “He’s too cute. I just want to squeeze him.”

“There’s a video of his first birthday party on here somewhere,” Georgie says, and you scramble to find it. You open a video of baby Jamie with his face covered in blue frosting. His hands are covered in chunks of cake, and he’s waving them around while laughing.

“The neighbors brought that cake over,” Georgie comments with a smile. “Jaim was being such a ham, making them laugh. He knew what he was doing, even then.”

You smile and continue forward. Baby Jamie in the tub, baby Jamie sleeping in his crib. Then toddler Jamie on Christmas.

“Show me what you’ve got,” comes Georgie’s voice from behind the camera.

Jamie’s tiny voice says, “It’s a fucking FOOTBALLLLL!” as he holds it over his head.

“Language, Jamie!” says Georgie, but you can tell she’s smiling. Jamie stands up and places the football on the ground.

Georgie says, “No, Jamie, don’t kick it in the-” and the camera tumbles to the ground. She swears, “Christ,” and it goes black.

“Classic,” you say.

Georgie chuckles a bit ruefully. “That was the beginning for him. Found it in a bargain bin and thought it’d get some of his fucking energy out. Think it just gave him more of a boost.”

The next is shaky footage of Jamie, aged six, as he runs on a pitch with other kids his age.

“Go, Jamieee!” Georgie screams. He barely looks at her as he kicks it into the goal, leagues ahead of the other team. He turns to his mum and gives her a thumbs up, followed by a swift two fingers up to the other team.

“Jamie, no!” Georgie shouts, and he switches back to a thumbs up and a shrug as if to say, I don’t know what you’re talking about. The video ends as the ref (someone’s father), pulls out a yellow card while trying to suppress laughter.

“Didn’t know you could get yellow cards at that age,” you grin.

“Well, you know Jamie; he played every part of that game,” Georgie replies.

“What are you on about?” Jamie asks, coming through the door. “Mum, you got the videos out?”

“She’s helping me put them on my new computer,” Georgie says. “Right helpful, she is. And tell me, what have you done today?”

Jamie blushes a bit. “Kicked the ball around the pitch. Soundly trounced some kids talking shit. Oh, and Simon and I went to get groceries.”

You raise an eyebrow. “And where are the groceries, Jamie?”

Jamie says, “Oh shit,” and rushes back outside to help Simon.

You roll your eyes affectionately and press play on the next video.

This one is another match, and Jamie’s older, maybe ten? It’s shot through the window of the council estate as he walks up, presumably from school. He’s dragging his feet but he’s got something in his hand.

“This was me birthday,” Georgie whispers.

“Whatcha got, Jaim?” Georgie asks as he swings the door open.

He smiles and launches himself into her arms, and for a moment, the camera is pointed at the ground. It gets righted and pointed at his smiling, dimpled face as he shoves a bundle of slightly wilted flowers into focus.

“Happy Birthday, Mummy!” he smiles. They’ve obviously been plucked on his walk back home from school.

“Thank you, baby,” she replies and again, you don’t need to see her to know she’s smiling. Georgie sweeps him into her arms as the video shuts off.

Georgie sniffs. “His dad had been round the day before. I had a fucking shiner to put the moon to shame that’s for sure, but my baby boy always knew how to get me smiling again.”

You lean your head against hers and she motions for you to keep on to the next video.

You click through a couple until you find one of him on the pitch again. It’s a couple years later and he’s a teenager, maybe thirteen, and he’s completely skipped the gangly phase you always thought was mandatory to growing up.

“He were twelve there,” Georgie says. “Got scouted in that very match.”

“Started me whole career,” Jamie interjects as he comes into the kitchen with an armful of bags. Simon’s right behind him, arms full as well.

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, but it’s not that shocking. You can tell he’s good, even at age twelve.

Jamie deposits the bags and wiggles into the non-existent space between you and Georgie.

“I was dead cute, weren’t I?” he asks.

“You were,” you agree. “Not sure what’s happened in recent years.”

Jamie protests with an, “Oi!” as you and Georgie dissolve into giggles. Simon (wisely) decides to stay out of it and busy himself with putting the food away.

“I’m putting these on the cloud so I can have that at home,” you tell Jamie, and he worms his way closer next to you.

“Mint. You gonna start a Jamie-table like mum, too?”

“Fuck no,” you reply. “You’re head’s fucking big enough as-is.”

“You like my big head,” he says, and you smack him.

“Not in front of your mum!” you shriek as he tickles your sides. Georgie gets up off the couch to go kiss Simon while Jamie continues to terrorize you, kissing all over your face as you make half-hearted attempts to push him off. He was cute back then, but your favorite version of Jamie is definitely the one you get to hold in your arms right now.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

False God with Aemond 🙏🧎🏽‍♀️

-

Since getting wed, Aemond had converted into a new religion and was very devoted to his new god. Your bodies were rolling in the sheets, rarely ever leaving your sacred oasis. Although it wasn’t necessarily the goal, it was impossible he hadn’t put a babe into you.

He had made your hips his altar, reciting his most meaningful prayers as you gripped the sheets tightly.

Not many husbands lick their lady-wife's cunt. Most settle for penetration-only sex. Although nice, penetration itself doesn't guarantee an orgasm for the woman. Oral does. When frequenting brothels with his brother, Aemond had quickly learned that if you touch a woman right, you can make her cum many many times.

A cry left your lips as the prince wrapped his lips on your clit, sucking it and making your eyes roll all the way to the back of your head from the pure stimulation. The intense pleasure was making your brain foggy.

‘’Oh gods- That feels so good.’’

Although Aemond wasn’t the one receiving, he did get some pleasure out of it. He loved seeing you react, seeing you squirm and moan and whimper – and sometimes scream. It spurred him on, turned him on.

You grabbed one of your breasts and kneaded the flesh, feeling the slickness between your legs get wetter.

‘’Mmh, you’re so wet it’s dripping down my chin,’’ Aemond said, his mouth lifting from your clit for a short seconds then dragging a fingertip along your folds, making you gasp as he pushed a long, slender finger into you.

You heard the squelching of your wetness, the dirty sound causing a smug smile to split on the Targaryen prince’s lips. He was in awe that he could elicit this kind of reaction from you – and frankly, so were you. He always thought the women at the brothels were talking shit, that women couldn’t unfold like that and be this turned on just from dexterous fingers and a skilled mouth.

Aemond added a second finger once he felt your muscles relax, mewls spilling from your lips as his two fingers twisted into you, crooking upwards exactly the way you liked.

‘’Yes, yes,’’ you moaned over and over, feeling another orgasm crest.

You had lost track of the count between the seventh and tenth orgasm – and Aemond was showing no signs of being done with you. The women at court would be jealous of the things your husband did to you in bed, jealous of of the mind blowing sex you and him have been having – how much you were having.

So far, the wed life was fucking great.

Aemond looked up at you – your skin flushed from all your activities, lips parted and soft whimpers leaving them, the sapphire necklace he had gifted you resting atop of your perfect breasts. Aegon might be the heir to the throne, but he had wed the fairest lady in the whole Seven Kingdoms.

-

Taglist: @taylordaughter  @gillybear17 @liltimmyst @eos-princess  @Kaitieskidmore1 @instabull

House of the Dragon/Game of Thrones taglist: @anastasiaxsworld @lollypopcrazylover @fin-never @dkathl @ayamenimthiriel @nerdy4itall @rraindrops @glors3 @beelanie @hc-geralt-23 @sweetybuzz25  @uniquenightsheep @kaywsworld @i-yam-awesome @caspianobsessed @kelssssxd @dilfsarebetterthanyou @missyviolet123 @leakycauldrns @brezzybfan @khaleesihavilliard @vexedvalerie @lollaa-puff @my-dark-prince @chevelledahuman @caspianobsessed @ayamenimthiriel @yor72 @mirandastuckinthe80s @newtsniffles @cleverzonkwombatsludge @justaproudslytherpuff @ren-ni @green-lxght @anginoguera @bubblebuttwade @comicsol1999 @rockerchick05 @baelavelaryonwp @tnu-ree @beccawinter @alexisabirdie @persage @hayleighloatx @kindaslightlyacidic @perdynerd @elsyyie @puffycreamcakes  @thirsty4nonlivingmen  @naty-1001 @xannybabyxx  @katiepie67 @kjones375 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl  @queenofshinigamis @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @Wehi02 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz  @cayleecook38 @yoyopolloobamadaddy @hayleighloatx @vane1999-blog @smptxx @fairyfolkloresposts @yassi-world @todaywasafairytale07 @ESobilal @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios @shine101​ @tanyaherondale​ @mikariell95​ @Katelyn15m @serrendiipty​ @lantsovheiress​ @gilliananderfuckme​ @shine101​ @tetgod​ @beggarsnotchoosey @vainillasmil157 @kizzyxren @clayzayden​@memeorydotcom​ @Harryshousewhore @kodzuvk @tnu-ree​ @omgsuperstarg @futuregws​ @blackravena​ @ashlatano7567 @winxschester​ @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos​ @xxlaynaxx​ @uh-no-actually @secretsthathauntus​ @lemiqa @pilarxxxaguayo​ @emmavan39​ @stargaryenx​ @erylilly​ @bbblackmamba​ @rainedrop97​ @Hc-geralt-23 @dreamer087​ @gothicgay14​ @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland​ @justaproudslytherpuff​ @evesolstice​ @buckysmainhxe​ @mouldyfrog @padfootsvixen​ @scarletmeii​ @drusillaravenclaw @softtina @Jelly-fishy-babie @evesolstice​ @Thelilacmourning

[purplink8]

Hate hate HATE what the anime did to the way Sayu's kidnapping was handled (specifically by Light). The anime just wants to show how utterly devoid of love anime!Light (coz no manga!Light would never seriously consider killing Sayu oh my god) is even towards his family at the face of his Kira goals.

Contrary to the manga (which i prefer who would've guessed) in which Light is shown very genuinely caring for his family! And you know just who wanted to save Sayu more? Or who was more active in saving her between Light & Soichiro?

It was Light (at least manga!Light coz idk what the hell was going on in anime!Light's mind during that episode). Yeah, I know. It might be surprising to those who haven't read the manga but this protective brother of Sayu's? Cares for her deeply.

And the anime just had to fuck that up, hadn't it? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I hate episode 28 (titled 'Impatience') of the anime with a burning passion. So much so that I'll compare it with how the plot ACTUALLY transpires in the Manga.

This post is...long: I've tried my hardest to not go overboard with my negative(?) rant against the anime but it was an impossible task imo /o\

If any of the points mentioned in this post are good, they are due to tumblr user casuistor's post which I read on a regular basis. (Go check it out!! It's much much better than anything I could've written in my whole life. Yes, I'm a fan :)

If there are any mistakes, it would be entirely correct to attribute them to me.

I admit I hadn't paid much attention to the manga the first time I had read it but holy shit even then I had picked up on how close the Yagami siblings were!

I couldn't make much sense of the plot of the 2nd arc (I wasn't completely over L's death so forgive me for being in a daze) and yet I was absolutely sure of the fact that Light had done everything in his power to save Sayu. Even if you were not following the plot closely, you'd still understand that fact (which the anime did much worse than deliberately ignoring it). Why?

Because Ryuk kindly summarizes the plot/points this out:

Honestly, I don't even need to go on at this point now, do I? Ryuk, who never fails to call out Light (for example, saying that Light will be the only bad guy left if he kills every 'bad' guy out there in chapter 1), has just confirmed what thoughtful manga readers already knew: Light has a soft spot for his sister.

I'm still petty at the anime so I won't stop at this point. I'll first explain how it goes in the manga, then how the anime butchered it. Let's gooo!

To understand the circumstances surrounding Sayu's kidnapping, we need to note that the NPA director Takimura is kidnapped by Mello first for the exchange of the notebook. Soichiro notifies every bureau of the NPA. And Light, of course, doesn't hesitate for a minute to kill Takimura (obviously, the priority of Death Note >>> the life of Takimura, to Light).

This is supposed to happen behind the scenes in the manga compared to the anime which makes Light killing Takimura much more obvious:

-episode 27: Abduction

Anyways, it's part of Light's plan to let the kidnappers take the fall for Takimura's death (so that Kira won't be blamed for his murder. And since only the kidnappers and the NPA know about the kidnapping: it won't be assumed that Kira has any link to the NPA).

Light seriously doubts that the kidnappers would just drop the issue due to Takimura's death and he's right. Sayu is kidnapped.

Mello is taking full responsibility for Takimura's death just like Light intended him to. However, this time, rather than any person whom Light could've easily disposed of (like Takimura) to avoid letting the notebook fall into the kidnappers' hands, Sayu- the sister for whom Light cares deeply- is kidnapped instead.

Not only that, Mello expects Soichiro to keep this a secret from the rest of the NPA personnel otherwise as he threatens, he'll kill Sayu. Now, we know that during Takimura's kidnapping, rest of the NPA were notified of the fact (Yes, the circumstances are quite different- there wasn't a threat to Takimura's life for letting the others know of his kidnapping), Ide points this out:

Ide is apparently okay with Sayu's death and appeals to (read: pressures) 'duty/justice above my family' side of Soichiro Yagami to send word to every NPA department even if that means Sayu will be killed. And you know what? Soichiro actually agrees to do so!

I would like you to see Light's reaction here, these panels come directly after the above one:

Light wastes no time to completely change his plan to have everyone assume that it was the kidnappers who killed Takimura to -> Kira did it. This was Light's previous plan before Sayu got involved:

"It's part of Light's plan to let the kidnappers take the fall for Takimura's death (so that Kira won't be blamed for his murder. And since only the kidnappers and the NPA know about the kidnapping: it won't be assumed that Kira has any link to the NPA)."

This changing of plans that Light does immediately is actively detrimental to Light's Kira's cause (in other words, disadvantageous to Kira's goals). Look at Light digging a hole for himself just to save his sister:

Light argues to not notify the other NPA departments otherwise Kira would know about the kidnapping and kill Sayu (and they wouldn't get a chance to investigate the kidnappers if Kira kills Sayu before they can negotiate with them). So their best bet is to keep quiet about it so that Kira doesn't know; meanwhile they can, as Ide says, try and catch the culprit while negotiating the exchange.

Back to how this is in no way an advantage to Light (as Kira):

Telling the task force that Kira was behind Takimura's murder whose kidnapping was known only to the NPA personnel suggests that Kira has a link to NPA info and may lead to doubt against those in NPA being Kira (the NPA that Light is now the part of) so obviously not a win for Kira/Light.

Light is in now a very bad position if he needs to kill Sayu in the future to avoid the Note falling to the kidnappers' hands. Because now he can't blame Kira for her death, can he? He is the one who stopped them from sending word to rest of the NPA so Kira has (according to Light) theoretically no way of knowing about the exchange with Sayu situation (unless if Kira were in the task force itself thus narrowing down the list of Kira suspects); ergo Kira won't kill her.

So why the hell is Light okay with these disadvantages instead of his previous, practically/pragmatically (for Kira's cause) better plan? Better yet, why not did he kill Sayu himself without a moment of hesitation like he did with Takimura when he had the chance to do so before suggesting that it was Kira who killed Takimura, the kidnappers could've been framed for Sayu's death? Or just allow notifying the NPA personnel so that they made a move and let the kidnappers do the dirty work?

Because, as Ryuk says, Light has a soft spot for his sister:

Note that: Light doesn't even try to deny it in his thoughts ("...that's not all" anyone?). We're talking about the guy who rationalizes his way out of his feelings, who views emotions as the reason 'why most idiots screw up' and he does NOT DENY THAT HE CARES FOR HIS SISTER.

Also worthy of note is how quickly he decides to tell the task force that Kira killed Takimura. Usually, we get a long wall of text of Light planning his every move. Not in this case. I believe it's because this decision was fueled by emotion rather than reason- the emotion being brotherly love ofc.

["A totally emotional decision is typically very fast. This is because it takes time (at least 0.1 seconds) for the rational cortex to get going. This is the reactive (and largely subconscious) decision-making that you encounter in heated arguments or when faced with immediate danger.

Common emotional decisions may use some logic, but the main driving force is emotion, which either overrides logic or uses a pseudo-logic to support emotional choices (this is extremely common)." (as a bonus have this research by Damasio)]

Once, Light has time to think, he goes 'well even if in the worst case scenario (the kidnappers get the note) I have Misa's eyes so I'm still at an advantage eh...?'

He is, instead of contemplating a way to kill Sayu so that the note is safe, thinking (however briefly) of how it won't be muuuuuuuch of a problem if Mello does gets his hands on the note. Idk about you guys but man that rlly gives us an idea of Light's priorities (Sayu>>>>>>Death Note).

Here's instance #2 demonstrating Light's priorities (when Soichiro asks Light to just save Sayu as the former doesn't care if he loses his life. And Light responds by saying don't be a fool etc etc):

#Sayu matters more than the Death Note

Now we come to the scene which the anime seems to have taken to heart to entirely without the context. When Soichiro goes underground for the exchange, we have Near taunting Light (as L number 2)

This is not Light seriously deciding to kill Sayu (remember when he had the time to think over his decision, killing Sayu was not even an option but handing over the note to Mello was, in the worst case (even if he has Misa's eyes, it doesn't mean the idea is any less ridiculous)).

This is him, so stressed that he's coming up with so rubbish ideas that even he goes 'wtf am i thinking??' Because at this point, killing Sayu would be announcing that Kira is among the task force as only they know of Sayu's kidnapping + her name & face, which is again bad for Kira's cause. And the one responsible for this predicament is Light himself as he was the one who told the task force not to alert the NPA personnel.

If Light really had been meaning to kill Sayu, he had plenty of time & opportunity to do so (without the suspicion falling on him) before suggesting that Kira killed Takimura. Light essentially ran in the opposite direction when he was faced with the perfect chance of killing Sayu (just let the others notify the departments of NPA -> kill Sayu -> Blame Kira for it, foolproof. but he did Not take this route as he Loves his sister) and now when it is absolutely NOT AN OPTION (for obvious reasons) he's thinking it since he's stressed to the point of irrationality.

Yes, he's seen thinking this:

...aaaand he can't bring himself to finish the thought because he knows that he did the opposite since he loves Sayu & Soichiro dearly and couldn't bring himself to kill them.

Also look how concerned Light is over the well-being of Sayu & Soichiro that he calls his dad to ask if they're okay:

I hope at this point you believe me when I say that manga!Light never seriously considers killing Sayu. He loves his sister too much for that.

______________________________________________________________

Now we move on to how the anime (fucked it all up) adapted this. I'm not particularly happy with it (understatement of the year) so I'm gonna rant about how inferior it is compared to the manga. Let's gooo!

The plot goes pretty similarly: Takimura is kidnapped ->Light kills him -> Sayu is kidnapped -> Mello demands them not to notify the NPA personnel lest they kill Sayu.

But the change in episode 27 is that they remove the discussion (mainly Ide pressuring Soichiro) around whether to notify the NPA personnel. Soichiro deciding to send word to all departments of NPA is cut so we don't get to see Light swooping in to protect Sayu.

Still, anime!Light does reveal that it was Kira who killed Takimura. And advises the task force to keep Sayu's kidnapping a secret. However, anime!Ryuk doesn't call anime!Light out on him having a soft spot for his sister (coz as far as the anime is concerned, they really REALLY wanna sell the idea that Light doesn't care for Sayu).

It's a lot harder, therefore, to make sense of anime!Light's motivations in changing his plan from having the kidnappers framed for Takimura's murder to admitting that Kira did it. It appears that it happens just because ???

Like there is no reason in manga!Light doing this apart from saving his sister but anime!Light cannot have any redeeming qualities like loving his family, he needs to be a 100% evil villain!! ...So we have zero explanation for anime!Light's actions.

The exchange between Light & Soichiro re: the whole 'I don't care if I die but please save Sayu' + 'You can't die in front of Sayu no matter what...You must make the right decisions so that both you and Sayu live.' occurs without change. But due to the succeeding added anime-only scenes (which I'll talk about later), this conversation sounds fake from Light's side while it is completely genuine in the manga.

Then the infamous scene (which I hate to death) of anime!Light SERIOUSLY considering to kill Sayu comes:

And Misa overhears him saying that in the bathroom coz why not?? make it worse??? :) :) :)

And anime!Light comes as close as to killing Sayu that he even has his watch opened with the piece of the notebook

...wow such an awful brother being a piece of shit >:(

Wait! Can brotherly affection save the day? Has anime!Light finally realized the error of his ways?

Nope. Anime!Light chooses not to kill Sayu not because he loves her but because it would be self-incriminating to do so. Yeah...what. an. asshole.

Light calling his dad to check up on how him & Sayu are doing is cut from the anime. Instead, take a look at how displeased anime!Light is after Sayu is rescued by sacrificing the notebook.

Damn.

...yeah, this is Not the face of someone who's happy with the way things happened (namely losing the Death Note to Mello in exchange for Sayu's life). It's clear where anime!Light's priorities actually lie (Death Note>>>>Family) He's so angry that he takes out his anger on Misa by slapping the drink she offers, out of her hands:

Oh and these scenes are nowhere in the manga, they're just in the anime to emphasize just how big of a jerk brother anime!Light is.

In conclusion! Manga!Light (who's the only Light that matters really imo) loves his sister, would never seriously consider killing her in contrast to anime!Light who is very ready to say 'Sayonara Sayu Yagami' via murder and would've done so if it wasn't self-incriminating.

As you can see manga!Light is far superior to anime!Light. If you've stuck around to read this post to the end (a) I love you & (b) I hope you have a fantabulous day!! <333

[lizzieislife94x]

Best Friends Sister Pt.2 (w.m)

WandaxG!P Reader

AOU era, pt.2 of best friends sister.

Y/ns POV:

Both of us moan into the kiss as our tounges explore eachothers mouth when air becomes a problem we separated she leans her head on my head smiling as she bites hey lip "you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that" I whisper as I move her hair from her face making her giggle "me too y/n me too and it was better than I ever imagined" she confesses I quickly wrap my arms around her and flip us praying she can't feel my bulge growing harder I quickly press my lips back against hers both our tounges continuing to explore eachothers mouth the kiss heats up as wanda starts to remove my jumper pulling it over my head I quickly follow in her footsteps as I start to pull her tee over her head a groan leaving my lips when I see her bare tits infront of my face "no bra" I say with a smirk causing her to brush she pushes me off and climbs ontop of me as she starts to unbutton my jeans "I hate bras they're like jail for your boobs I prefer not wearing one, Holy shit" I look at her smirking as she looks down at my growing bulge "see something you like baby" she nods biting her lip as she starts to rub my harden member through my boxers causing me to lean back and moan "mhhh fuck wanda that feels good" I moan I feel her pull the waist band of my boxers yanking them down as she let's out a surprised gasp "fuck youre so fucking big y/n" I bite my lip as I watch her taking in the sight of my hard cock I get up and flip us so she's on her back I quickly make work of getting rid of her pants and panties in one swift motion my mouth falling open at the sight of her already dripping cunt "mmmh baby how are you this wet" she covers her hands over her face and mumbles "the whole time we where making out your dick was pressing into me and I couldn't control my arousal"

I smirk and move her hands leaving a gentle kiss on her lips "god youre so fucking beautiful" I take a second to admire her naked body as my hand slowly explores her body I quickly lay between her legs spreading them wider my eyes glued to her glistening folds I use my left hand to spread her lower lips before I let my tounge run from her entrance to her clit I take her clit in my mouth sucking as my fingers slide down to her dripping entrance as I continue to suck her clit I slowly slide 2 fingers Inside her as she grips my hair and let's out the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard "mhhh so fucking tight" I mumble against her clit sending vibrations through her body she moans louder at my actions as I smirk and thrust my fingers faster and harder curling them at the right spot after a few minutes of relentlessly finger fucking and sucking her clit she cums all over my fingers her screams of pleasure almost enough to send me over the edge "fuck fuck yes that....was fucking...incredible y/n, my turn"  she smirks her breath slowly returning to normal before I know it she has me on my back my dick sliding in her mouth "woah wow oh fu...shit" I moan as I grip her hair helping her bop her head faster I bite my lip to stop the moans coming from my lips she sucks me like its her only goal in life after a minute I feel the knot in my stomach snap as my cum shoots down her throat she sucks a little more before climbing up and cuddling into me "mhhh you taste so fucking good" she smirks I look down at my dick surprised that I'm still rock hard "fuck me y/n" I bite my lip and flip us as I position myself above her on my knees I grip my dick slowly rubbing the tip through her wet folds gently slapping it against her clit as she moans at the action "fuck don't tease" I decided to do as she said and not tease I position myself at her entrance slowly sliding into her dripping core "uh fuck wanda" I groan at how tight and wet she is "so big so big" she hums as I run my hand up to her tits gently pinching her nipple as I slam deep inside her bottoming out "ahhhhh fuck..fu...fuckkkk" she screams out I quickly start to thrust rolling my hips "eyes on me princess" I moan as she quickly looks into my eyes gripping my upper arms as my thrusts continue "you're so fucking tight princess" I groan increasing my pace I feel her tighten around my cock as silent screams leave her lips I smirk looking down as she creams all over my dick the sight only encouraging me to keep going I straighten up and put her legs over my shoulders as I lean forward thrusting hard "uhhb shit y/n right there don...Don...dont stop" she whimpers as I speed up my thrusts hitting deeper than before I feel my high coming fast so I pick up my pace after afew quick thrusts I slam deep and hard inside her as I fill her with my seed we both moan as I continue to cum I don't dare move for a minute once I'm done I roll off her pulling her into my arms "mmmmh fuck" is all I get out "exactly" she pants both our naked bodies pressed together we lay together for half an hour talking and laughing until she falls asleep in my arms, this is what I want my life to be.

I wake up and instantly smile at the sight of wanda cuddled into me I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead before carefully slipping out of the bed I pull my boxers and wandas tee on before going to pee I wash my hands and head down to kitchen "I'm guessing last night went well" I jump a little as I turn to see pietro smirking at me "yeah I'm not gonna tell you anything buddy do you want coffee" I say with a laugh making us both coffee, I look around the kitchen for what to make and decide to go with eggs and bacon just as I'm plating up I feel arms wrap around my waist "mhh morning" she whispers in a sleepy voice I quickly turn wrapping my arms around her leaving a gently kiss on her lips "morning princess breakfast is ready" she smiles up at me brightly "ew get a room" pietro says with a joking ton making us laugh we all sit and eat breakfast together in a comfortable silence till pietro speaks up "so are you two an item now or what" I look at wanda with a blush "I mean I don't know we haven't spoke about it but what I do know is I'm inlove with her and she owns my heart" I say my eyes never leaving hers she nods in agreement "yeah we need to talk about it but you y/n you have my heart" I pull her in for a kiss as we smile against eachothers lips

AN: sorry its short but here you go hope yall enjoy 😉 haha hope youre all OK as always requests are open word Count 1.3k 

[another-white-void]

Btw I was making a list of my favorite moments while reading Thousand Autumns. So. Here it is (under the cut bc spoilers)

- Yu Shengyan as a silly poet

- Yan Wushi threatening Shen Qiao with lip cup (ch 24) AND THEN SHEN QIAO FEEDING HIM THAY WAY IN CH 57

- Bian Yanmei vs Huo Xijing in a tea shop (ch 27)

- Yan Wushi introduces unconscious Shen Qiao to Bian Yanmei (ch 29)

- Yan Wushi: this is my husband, Shen Qiao, Shen Qiao: sect leader Yan, you need to stop call that lowly one your husband. we met yesterday

- chapter 34. just. chapter 34 (Zhan Ziqian is my second fav now)

- chapter 35, Yan Wushi pulling "was your name on it???" as an argument for stealing

- chapter 44, Yan Wushi asking Shen Qiao if they could be friemds

- chapter 46, abbot saying that Shen Qiao finally lost his mind

- chapter 49, Ruan Hailou suicide speech (+thinking about their next incarnations ok)

- chapter 50, Shen Qiao's epic entrance

- chapter 55, Dou Yanshan laughing his ass off bc Shen Qiao put “Yan Wushi” and “greater good” in one sentence

- chapter 55, Guang Lingsan pulling “u manwhore we're not gay, we won't do anything for u” on Shen Qiao

- chapter 55, Guang Lingsan has a sword hidden in his cither!! he tossed a cither and took the sword from inside of it!!! how cool is that!!!!

- chapter 55, Dou Yanshan's “Sayonara weeboos!”. yes chapter 55 IS a work of art

- chapter 58, Yu Ai finally understanding that he lost Shen Qiao forever and there's no going back, saying “Good, good, good...”

- chapter 67, Yan Wushi asked about his traveling goal responds “I'm following you [Shen Qiao]" CUTE

- chapter 70, Yan Wushi in drag refusing to leave the restaurant without Shen Qiao

- chapter 75, Yan Wushi making dinner for Shen Qiao, this is so cute, I fucking can't, the whole chapter is so wholesome, I love it

- chapters 79-80, Shen Qiao crying because Yan Wushi decided to save him and trying to run after him,

- chapter 84, Murong Qin saying “If your dao had any use whatsoever, why hasn’t that wonderful man you love so much shown himself yet?” to Shen Qiao and Shen Qiao not denying anything,

- and generally the fight with Murong Qin, it's so beautifully described...

- chapter 84, describing Yan Ying as “he was an expert at risking his life on the battlefield” (and generally Yan Ying I love that man gender neutral, he wants to die for someone SO BADLY)

- chapter 85, Yan Shou scared as fuck

- chapter 85, Shen Qiao vs Chen Gong & Baoyun would look AMAZING in animation

- chapter 86, Shen Qiao saying he's Shan Qiaozi... giving Finrod vibes. Sweetheart, you're not best in disguises are you,

- chapter 90, Yan Wushi's internal monologue about Shen Qiao

- chapter 94, Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao's spoon fight,

- chapter 94, Shen Qiao finally loosing it,

- chapter 97, “This venerable one's weakness now is you!”... what a way to confess...

- chapter 101, Gu Hengbo has major lesbian vibes oh my god

- chapter 102, OH MY GOD YU SHENGYAN IS BACK

- chapter 103, Yuan Xiuxiu standing on a flag, this is kinda cool and girlboss

- chapter 103, Yuan Xiuxiu dominated by ocean-like power of Shen Qiao

- chapter 106, Yan Wushi literally saying that Shen Qiao isn't like the other girls

- chapter 107, Yan Wushi confessing his love, saying that his heart is Shen Qiao's, talking about marriage and right after that being like "taki żarcik kosmonaucik" yeah sure thing bro

- chapter 110, “grandmasters were not cabbage” yeah can't argue with that

- chapter 110, Bian Yanmei genderfuckery and absolutely loving to dress and act like a woman, what a legend

- chapter 115, Yuan Ying... poor baby... how did they not notice that you were gone for a week...

- chapter 117, Yan Wushi fighting basically all the most powerful people in the world for Shen Qiao dkddskkd

- chapter 118, Shen Qiao waiting for the most dramatic moment to enter the elders' meeting lol + Bian Yanmei living for the applause

- chapter 120, Yu Ai's death, that was so damn sad how am I supposed to not cry??

- chapter 121, Shen Qiao and Bian Yanmei as besties so cute, exactly what I needed after that Yu Ai trauma

- aaand we're back with trama, this time it's Tan Yuanchun. Poor Shen Qiao, took him long enough to understand that he lives in an imperfect world, convoluted in thousands small matters that pile up to hatreage and cruelty

- chapter 122, Shen Qiao's “I know, but if I can’t see him, how can I be at peace?” T^T

- it might be one of my fav chapters, so causally wholesome

- chapter 123, how differently Shen Qiao treats Yan Wushi and Bai Rong. Yan Wushi is in the end the only person who can make Shen Qiao so explicitly emotional

- chapter 124, A SMALL DEAR A-QIAO THIS IS

NOT A DRILL IT'S A SMALL DEAR A-QIAO!!

- Yan Wushi saying "Thank you for returning my badness with kindness", my heart is melting

- chapter 126, Shen Qiao gambling. and unknowingly cheating. it is just. too percect. I love this novel

- this is just autism x ADHD and I'm living for this

- god their declaration of love being “thank you for returning my evilness with kindness” and “I would cry only if you died, not anyone else”

[mrs-prentiss]

Sinful Encounter Pt. 2

Warnings : smut???? please give me advice on anything you’d like to see better!

If you would’ve been told months ago you’d be gripping the booth of a sex club, while an FBI Agent gave you the most toe curling orgasm of your life from under a table…you’d laugh hysterically. Instead you were moaning relentlessly as you felt her lips latch themselves to your clit and her fingers curl at the right spot to bring you closer than you’ve ever been before. Euphoria was a state of complete pleasure after achieving something so goal orientated. To Emily your body was a temple that was perfect for euphoric sex “god you’re so beautiful angel” the compliment to most people would be simple, something they’d brush off but for you it made goosebumps hit your skin.

“I-Oh god yes” your whimpers sounded like heaven to her ears and she even got the chance to praise your beautiful sounds she so easily got from your mouth “there we go let go angel, cum for me let me hear you” That’s exactly what you did you came all over the older brunettes face, and that’s what had you in her hotel room. You didn’t know where either of your clothes had gone but you knew they where discarded the second her door closed, your back shoved against the wall as her right had slithered it’s way down your stomach cupping the throbbing heat where you wanted her most “Emily please…please more” the sound of you begging and whining for her made her let an elicit tone out against your neck where she brutally assaulted it with marks to claim your body as hers.

It felt like the room was on fire when you both made your way back to her bed, falling against it with as little grace as possible. The way her hands slid across each curve of your body and pulled at the exposed skin made you whimper desperate for more from the brunette “Em please…please more” The whine wasn’t a question, you were begging for more. The sound of you begging was like velvet she wanted to hear it again, her body hovered over yours, her hair fanning over her shoulders as she looked at you below her “do it again baby, beg for mommy beg for me to fuck you senseless so all you know is how to say my name”

She didn’t even need to tell you to beg because that’s exactly what you did, whining relentlessly for her “please fuck me-…touch me mommy” just like that one of her hands snaked down your bare body caressing every part that she touched before her fingers skillfully slipped themselves inside of you eliciting the prettiest sound she could have ever imagined you’d let loose “Do it again angel, say my name…make those pretty sounds sweetheart” every word she spoke her fingers pumped inside of you. You could feel yourself clenching around her fingers, the words you wanted to let out weren’t even audible as you whined and whimpered under her control.

That’s what she liked, to be in control of someone’s body and their every orgasm and just how fast it came and went “I want to hear you sweetheart, let this whole damn building know who's making you feel so good” her voice rasped against the side of your neck where she left bright hickies against your skin. Any other circumstance you’d ask permission to touch her but in this moment all you wanted was your hands on her, one hand scratched at the skin she was showing while the other gripped the bicep of the hand that was pumping furiously into you. You were getting closer and she could be the way you clenched around her fingers and let out inaudible sounds “fuck, i’m-i’m gonna cum” Emily took those words as a challenge and moved quickly down your body latching her lips to your clit. The simple action sent your right over the edge and she was stuck lapping up your juices as you gripped the bed sheets besides your body slowly coming down from your high.

If you had any more adrenaline in you, you would’ve easily gone another round just to hear the way she groaned at your wetness and the taste of you. You watched in bliss as she swiped her fingers into her mouth moaning at the taste “fuck angel, i have to call your sweetie now because the way you taste. shit…let’s go again” Emily said with a rasp as she hovered over your body. You couldn’t handle any more though, besides the alcohol worked up most of your courage and with it dialing down you weren’t sure you could muster up much more. You reached up allowing your hands to find a place against her cheeks, one wandering to brush her hair behind her ear and then using both tugging the woman down whilst holding her face when you chastity crashed your lips together “my turn” you whispered against her lips.

[lazarus---rising]

bi people cant flirt normally its always some shit like "why did i come back here?" "to uh. drink?" "back to hatchetfield. i spent the first 18 years if my life trying to get out of this place, shouldve just stayed in guatemala. i mean yeah theyve got volcanoes and coatimundis everywhere but uh-" "whats a coatimundi?" "oh, its like a little raccoon thing. they get into shit, people hate em, but at least they dont sing and dance" "so is that was drove you back to hatchetfield? coatimundis, up in your shit?" "no, no, it was uh my sister, jane. she was the good one. she had this um, lisa frank binder when she was little where she mapped out her entire life and i swear to god she stuck to it. bullet point by bullet point, it was like job, husband, house, kids, and you know when one sisters so on top of her game it kinda demands that the other one be a total fuck up, right?" "what is yin without yang?" "thats what im saying! yeah man, she was off doing life and i was doing, something else. backpacking mostly, and she would call me and you know, invite me home for big events, you know, weddings, baby showers, id always say oh, sorry ill catch the next one! but um, then when i got the invitation to her funeral i was like oh, there wont be a next one." "oh- im sorry." "hey, you didnt crash into her car. anyway, uh, its weird growing up in someone elses shadow because when theyre gone the light shines on you for the first time, and it does not look good. so, there i was, 30, with no roots anywhere except hatchetfield, so i thought uh, well im gonna make something of myself, you know do something my sister would be proud of, enroll in a community college, study botany, im gonna start a pot farm." "oh. did your sister smoke a lot of pot?" "no, but weed's the future, its gonna be legal nationwide soon, bet you any money! not that it matters anymore. man, my whole life my one goal was to avoid dying in hatchetfield and, here we are." "hey, it could be worse. you could be dying in clivesdale." "fuck clivesdale!" "fuck em!" "you know uh, all things considered, i like hatchetfield. yeah, been here my whole life, born and bred. never wanted to leave, still dont." "hey, we're the same age, how come i never knew you in highschool?" "you probably went to hatchetfield high, i went to sycamore." "fuckin timberwolves! we hated you guys!" "we hated ourselves! so uh, back at beanies you said you were in your highschool production of brigadoon?" "hey, i was bonnie jean!" "that was 2003 right? i actually saw you in brigadoon." "no shit!" "yes shit! yeah! uh, we didnt have a theatre program in our school, so i guess to make us feel like crap they bused us over to watch your show. it was the first musical i ever saw. i hated it. thats probably the start of my whole thing, youre the reason i dont like musicals!" "woah, thats like your origin story." "yeah!" "so i guess im the supervillain?" "i dont think of you like that at all emma."

[thewritersaddictions]

(R) Drabble: Yandere Elijah Mikealson- The Gentleman

The first time Elijah had seen you it was like magic. In the oddest of senses, he wasn't a fan of witches. Having a sister for one was a great source of help when finding Klaus.

Only when he saw you did he realize he didn't need to find anyone or anything else in his long life anymore. He had only come back to find his brother. That was the only goal when he first arrived in New Orleans. Finding your beautiful face and charming attitude wasn't at all.

He would have still gravitated towards you if he had not noticed the way you floated around the streets. He could hear your heart pumping as he followed behind, not close, but far in your crowd of tourists.

"Do you need anything, sir?" You asked him. Your voice was sweet as honey, and it made Elijah think of everything he could do to hear it again. "Oh, darlin' I was just following along with your voice.

Elijah had always been a flirt and had always had a way with words. Been able to make people see the right way with words unlike his younger half-brother Klaus.

Y/n was never sure how she ended up being the only thing that Elijah saw, but she had and she lived in glory. Elijah spoiled the shit out of them. "Babydoll, what do you want today?" He'd ask them as they floated around the streets.

He had rules of course. Rules that kept you safe 'These rules aren't here to hinder what you do on a daily basic love. Just here to protect you when I'm not here, yes." You shake your head like a little child being told a story.

They were rules that were not hard to follow, but anyone else that wasn't in your dynamic might think that your boyfriend was being a little controlling.

Rule #1 Stay at my side whenever we go out. If you want to do something you ask and we can go.

Rule #2 You get good sleep, and you eat well. I don't need my baby getting sick or feeling bad because you aren't taking care of themselves

Rule #3 When someone touches or hurts you in any way, you tell me immediately. No need to keep secrets from me.

You always floated around with the rules in your head. You never found them to be controlling. You just always thought that Elijah was being protective and supportive of you in every single way.

Elijah had fallen in love with you that day he saw you in the streets of New Orleans. He hadn't just fallen in love with the idea of loving you. Elijah had fallen in love with you, and he had taken you in his heart and loved you with everything he had. Made you his in so many ways.

That was all before you had said a single word to him.

Elijah loved to give you gifts. It was one of his ways of showing his love. Whatever his darling wanted they got. Whatever you needed you got. If you loved reading and books he has a whole room built for you to read and sit in a cozy space. If you loved cooking then the kitchen was turned around on a dime to make the space perfect and usable in every sense.

Covering your eyes he'd walk behind you slowly and closer to your destination you'd get. "Elijah, where are you taking me?" You ask, voice a little nervous and timid as always. It drove Elijah crazy how you were his all of the time. "Just a little gift I had made for you darling." Elijah would say simply.

He'd take you to the space, and uncover your eyes. You stand there in shock. Turning to look at your handsome boyfriend. "Elijah you didn't… you are amazing… I love you so much." Hugging and kissing him all over the place. Elijah basked in the joy of your kisses and appreciation. He loved that you depended on him so much.

There was something else that Elijah loved even more than giving you gifts. He loved making you cum, he loved seeing your face control as he gave you the best pleasure of your life. Elijah loved the feeling of you grasping harder and tighter around him, as you dig your blunt nails into his back. He loved that you always left marks on him because he did the same thing to you.

"Fuck Elijah!"… "God Elijah you're… fuck you're so good to me." You'd mumble as he gave you everything that you asked for. Sheets damp and sticking to both of you. "Oh sweet thing, you're the best thing in my life. I love you so much" Sweet nothings whispered between the two of you.

And after, he grabs you a glass of water. Lay down with you on his chest as he combed through your hair with ease. He'd listen to your calming breathing before you fall asleep on top of his chest.

That was his favorite thing. Knowing and feeling that you were right there. Safe in his arms and he'd never let you go not for anyone not even for him half brother.

Completed on: 04/09/23

Posted on: 04/15/23

The Originals-

[captainjacklyn]

I saw your special meal and all I can think reading "five words : Please don't hurt my family." And "Oh hello there jesus ! How did I die ? well I just got STABBED BY ONE OF YOUR PROBLEMATIC CHILDREN !" Is just Duolingo and I lowkey kinda want some headcanons for the Savanaclaw and/or Heartslabyul (up to you) of just MC dressed as Duolingo (Like the official Duolingo Tiktok's Duolingo) for Halloween with a knife (IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY FOR HALLOWEEN)

Thank you ^^

- ♤

Well this is so not gonna be family friendly, that's for sure ! One killer Duolingo coming up. (also, I'll be doing both dorms so Savannaclaw will be coming shortly afterwards)

Sorry for answering this ask so late, I hope you'll forgive me.

Content : Head canons, crack and just absolute chaos

Warning(s) : a lot of cussing and I will swear so fuck off mother I ain't family friendly, killer mascot, knife, H A L L O W E E N

Part 1 : Heartslabyul Part 2 : Savannaclaw

Mc/Yuu is dressed as a murdering owl Duolingo for Halloween

Oh my god

This is more terrifying than his mother yelling at him.

Wtf are you and whyareyouholdingaknifeathimholyshit-

This is not what he thought of when you said you'll dress as an owl, the only good thing about this situation is the fact that he is now unconscious and on the floor.

...

wait a minute

GODDAMNIT MC-

Did he just witness a giant green ball running after a screaming headmaster ?

Yes. yes he did.

Is he going to do anything about it ?

No, no he isn't.

R.I.H stands for 'rot in hell'

...

So R.I.H Crowley you will not be missed, at all. No but seriously don't even think of coming back as a spirit because I'll ghost buster your ass.

Well this is SO gonna get him a million likes on magicam, you look adorbs ! Wait is that a knife

Lmao this is so kawaii~

...

I regret saying that. With my whole ass life you can take my money and my family. I will never say that ever again-

KAWAIII DESUUUU~

....

The owl is still chasing down Crowley by the way.

What a coincidence ! He is wearing the exact same thing with the exact same knife and the exact same goal which is murde-

Because it's difficult to walk in these huge costumes y 'all are rolling over like bowling balls, scaring everyone to death including me.

PAC MAN WHO-

Do I have to make another "mom, pick me up" joke ?

I surely do because what else am I going to use to talk about this man's horrified expression.

You truly are a nightmare, but he can't blame you for trying to set the dorm on fire-

His mind is still loading to process the information of what the fuck is going on at the moment.

Is the knife a part of the costume ?

it is ?

...

LET ME GET MY OWN

I hope you liked this piece of trash.

[fangirlfreak08]

FINALE THOUGHTS

DO NOT START IT WITH THEM CRYING HOW AM I MEANT TO DEAL

well there goes my one last night theory

Just because it’s over doesn’t mean its really over and if I think it over maybe-

Actually just kill me off it would hurt less HIS VOICE

NOT THE FISH FUCK OFF

they’re bestie goals i adore them also im sorry but the song being called perfect movie scene and them two looking like they’re in a rom com (from far away) will actually be the death of me

Fuck she’s wearing purple again and he’s wearing beige

SIMON PLS I WANT TO WRAP YOU IN A BLANKET YOU DESERVE SOME COMFORT

damn okay Sara admitting Simon’s right??? NO don’t call yourself stupid you’re finally getting the recognition you deserve

Them having their lesson outside is so real it’s my favourite thing about summer

AHHHH I WAS SO RIGHT THEYRE CLOSING HILLERSKA

SEVERAL WARNINGS

Vincent fuck off fuck off fuck off. Nils please defend him

NO THEYRE GONNA BLAME FELICE AND WILHELM

NOT NILS AND WILHELM YELLING AT EACH OTHER YOU GET ALONG

not August crying

Omg omg he just pulled a Queen Kristina he did what she did is this foreshadowing cause now he’s having a mental breakdown???

Stella and Fredricka get together whilst comforting each other??

Nah I actually love the third years having a group hug that’s amazing

And Henry and Walter talking to their parents (?) but still being together it’s so cute to see all their little favourites

Oh it’s so gonna end at the end of term, hillerskas closing and Simon’s moving away so they’re having like one last day together all of them

Wilhelm you’re killing me here

Has his room changed? I swear he used to have one window

NOT KRIS

NEON PARTY NEON PARTY

Not Vincent and nils calling him out

VINCENT YOURE ACTUALLY TALKING SOME SENSE FOR ONCE

okay so Augusts gonna back out and then Wille can threaten to do whatever he wants

AHHH TALK TO HIM THROUGH THE BOOKCASE WILLE GO ON

noooo they’re both returning crisis

HES WEARING PURPLE

HENRY FUCK OFF

NOOOO HE WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING

okay maybe my one night theory wasn’t entirely off…

Not the housemaster doing shots with them??? No wonder the schools getting shut down

Yes Wilhelm Felice besties era again!!!

LOVE OF MY LIFE AHH

no he thinks he’s gonna kill his mum

HOW DID SHE HIDE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WINE??

PARTY PRINCE RETURN OF THR PARTY PRINCE TITLE

not her hiding the wine Felice I love you

I love all these people so much man

Alexa play closure by Henry Moodie

HE DID THE THING THE THING WITH THE GRASS

REVOLUTION?!?!!

ERIK WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU NO MATTER WHAT

theyre near tears so im near tears

PLEASE SARA YOURE MEANT TO BE IN LOVE WITH HIM WHAT DO YOU MEAN STRONGER FEELINGS

they’re bestie goals and couple goals and I’ve never really shipped them but honestly I could be convinced-this all happening where they first became friends is just too much

Stella I had hopes for you man

NILS YOU HAVE….??? I seriously thought he was gonna say I have feelings for you

AH HE CAME OUT AND THEYRE ACTUALLY SUPPORTIVE AND ACTUALLY ACTING LIKE FRIENDS I LOVE IT

God he’s so in love HA REJECTED AT LEAST HE APOLOGISED

military service he’s doing military service now?

I CALLED THIS WEEKS AGO THAT THEYD GET BACK TOGETHER THEN SHED REJECT HIM BUT THE LAST EPISODE TRICKED ME

I LOVE YOU ITLL PASS FUCK OFF WHY ARE YOU BRINGING UP THAT TRAUMA RN?!

ONE LAST NIGHT TOGETHER I WAS SO RIGHT

OMG THE LAKE SCENE NOT THE LAKE SCENE

NOT IT TAKES A FOOL TO REMAIN SCENE THE CYCLICAL STRUCTURE IS HURTING ME

NO THIS HURTS SO MUCH MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD

HOW CAN IT JUST BE OVER NAH THIS IS MY CAUSE OF DEATH

STEDRIKA GOT TOGETHER AND FELICE IS JUST SMILING I LOVE HER

Them showing Henry and Walter right after Stella and Fredricka get together means they’re also canon actually

REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID EVERYONE WAS FAKE??? REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID YOU COULD BE FREE I HOPE YOU GET THERE. It’s not looking good for the endgame guys

WE WERE A REVOLUTION?! IT SHOULDNT BE A REVOLUTION TO LOVE EACH OTHER???

He’s gonna do something OMG OMG WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HE THREW IT AWAY DOES HE MEAN HES DONE WITH THE CROWN?! WILL I HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS AND WATCH HIM ABDICATE?!

Queen redemption arc???

Say no say no say-damn at least maybe now he’ll get support??

What is it with frogs and this royal family??

Goodbye Simon MY HEART MAN COME ON

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT I CANNOT EVEN IM ACTUALLY NEVER GONNA RECOVER FROM THIS

Girls trip!!!

AHHH HES SO GONNA ABDICATE

but August might…

AHHHH WILHELM I LOVE YOU IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO BE WRONG

NAH ITS A ROMCOM HE PULLED A LOVE ACTUALLY IM NEVER RECOVERING FROM THIS

AHHHHH

FOR HIS OWN SAKE IM SO PROUD

NOT THE FLASHBACKS IM GONNA CRY

THE FINAL LOOK I CALLED IT

[miralines]

woe ouatis rpverse sptumblr: the sequel be upon ye

link to the original

172 notes

🥁insubordinationriskofficial follow 🔁 roseredasinfuckyou follow

🧱 roseredasinfuckyou follow

the insubordination risk show was fucking great btw

🥁 insubordinationriskofficial follow

Re: your tags– we’re in the process of launching a crowdfunding goal to get a real album out! We’re just figuring out the logistics, but believe us, we won’t shut up about it when it happens. In the meantime, if you want to support us Luna sells patches on their spetsy, including some band ones ＾▽＾

112 notes

🌱 gayforjohnspratt follow 🔁 antiroyalribbons follow

⚫ zanti-deactivated02334432

Althea Black is a naive fool. I don’t know why anyone agreed to publish that utter trash she calls a book. I’d feel sorry for her if she weren’t helping spread all this propaganda. 

My full review of her book will be up on my spyoutube channel at the end of the week. Hint: It’s bad.

🪐 rose-red-apologist follow

oh, fuck off, literally everyone is tired of your shit

🐱 catboykingcole follow

man really thought they could get on the rose red defenders website and say this lmao eat them alive

🌱 gayforjohnspratt

@spstaff wasn’t this guy banned? you wanna do something about that?

19 notes

🟥 realredhood follow 🔁 beaumontbogwitch follow

🧙‍♀️beaumontbogwitch follow

Help how do I convince my brother and brother in law not to name their kid fucking marion

🟥 realredhood follow

I mean I’d send you some receipts but I’m kind of on thin ice with FABLE so just tell them that I said Fucking Yikes

2,294 notes

🌱 gayforjohnspratt follow 🔁 roseredbignaturals follow

🌹 roseredbignaturals follow

FRECKLES LUCK SPOTTED ON SPTUMBLR ABORT MISSION

⚡ thundercatsbecameourskeletonhats follow

I’m sorry WHAT?

♋ aroarrowers follow

I still think it’s fake, but some random blog mentioned knowing her and got a bunch of questions about it and then made a post claiming to be from her saying to leave the blogger alone. Seems like they’re just looking for attention if you ask me.

🌹 roseredbignaturals follow

It’s real there’s a selfie and everything. Believe me if they got that from someplace else I’d have already seen it. Apparently this blog belongs to her adopted kid or something???

🦫 peripheralplatypus follow

LINK??

🌅 atypicalarielien follow

Stop spreading this y’all the blog has been getting death threats. Also stop calling details about her personal life fucking ""lore.""

🌹 roseredbignaturals follow

I’m deleting istg if she sees the shit I’ve posted about her

🌱 gayforjohnspratt follow

coward

118 notes

👩🏻‍🦰 frecklesluck follow 🔁 roseredbignaturals follow

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

so im watching through the event footage for the conference from that interview she gave with the whole like, moulding breaking reveal conference. you all know the one. and i found a shot where she and adam bete are sitting together beforehand between speeches in the backround from a news broadcast. and oh my god. her piercings. its such a crime they made her take them out before she went on the news like. fuck. she's so pretty. her hair was down and she was laughing as something bete said. im so in love this is a crime. she's so hot none of you understand. her eyebrow piercings and her ears and the tattoos on her arms (they always have her wear suit jackets its such a crime like) and. and. im so gay NONE of you understand!! aaaaaaa

👩🏻‍🦰 frecklesluck follow

You know, when i searched my name on this site I expected the usual 'why isn't she in jail' shit that sptwitter tells me. thanks i guess.

83 notes

🌹roseredbignaturals follow 🔁 gayforjohnspratt follow

🌱 gayforjohnspratt follow

so like @roseredbignaturals are you okay. how are you doing after that. your internet crush is married.

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

NO IM NOT OKAY IM NOT OKAY IM NOT OKAY AH

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

M NOTSHE SAW ME SIMPIG

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

FUCK

5 notes

🧱 roseredasinfuckyou follow

for the last time, dyeing your hair red is not fucking appropriating rose red culture norms shut up and stop making things up challenge

If I get ONE MORE goddamn ask about this

82 notes

🌹roseredbignaturals follow 🔁 gayforjohnspratt follow

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

HER DAYS OF SWEEPING LESBIANS OFF THEIR FEET ARE OVER

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

WHY WAS I A TEENAGER ON ARIEL AND NOT IN THE PERIPHERY YEARS AGO IN A GAY BAR WHERE FRECKLES LUCK (FRECKLES LUCK!!!!!!) COULDVE SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET

🌹roseredbignaturals follow

THIS IS THE WORST TIMELINE

🌱gayforjohnspratt follow

you're really having a time of it

🌹roseredbignaturals follow AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

6 notes

♥️ redlikesmovies follow

I told you guys I know her!!

[its-time-to-write]

ch. 4 - hustling for the good life

table of contents Oh hey it’s Jamie’s side of things

also. I don’t proofread. yes I’m sorry, no I won’t change my ways.

takes one to know one

Here’s the thing. While you’ve been hopping around London, doing interviews and press and meeting all sorts of talented musicians, Jamie’s been doing his own work. Namely, badgering Keeley about his chances with you.

“She’s really pretty,” he confessed in the car on the way home from Isaac and Stella’s. “She’s like, fucking I don’t know, ethereal or some shit.” Keeley’s basically passed out, which is why Jamie is talking so freely. He knows she won’t remember shit. 

“Learned that word the other day,” he continues, “It’s like something you see can can’t totally understand. Or like, out of your league. Anyway, that’s her. Think she was all freaked out, though. Maybe too many people. Weird, innit, international star like her anxious in a crowd of people. But I really liked talking to her. Fuck, Keeley, she’s smart. You can tell in her lyrics.”

Keeley responds with a snore.

Jamie chuckles. “Yeah, alright, we’re almost to Roy’s. Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, yeah? Like I said, not like she’d go with someone like me anyway.”

—

Jamie severely underestimated Keeley’s ability to retain juicy gossip. Yeah she was sloshed, so much so that Roy had to carry her inside and onto the bed, but that didn’t stop her from sending Jamie a text the next morning that said, ?????? and a gif of your face.

Jamie replied in kind. ??????

U fucking kno what im asking, Keeley replied. U like her.

Jamie responds, that aint a question, keels

Fine, Keeley writes, here’s one

What the fuck did you mean, ‘someone like me????’

Jamie grimaces and puts his phone down. He’ll respond to that later but now, he has to go running around the field and puke his guts out because Roy’s a fucking sadist.

—

Jamie’s been a fan of your music since, like, your first single. He’s not even sure how he first heard it but he did, and then he’d listen to it when no one could catch him.

Then you started gaining popularity, and it was more acceptable for him to listen to your soft yet upbeat songs. He came home one weekend to find his mum playing Blue Glass on a speaker in the kitchen, and they sat down at the counter and listened to the entire album, not speaking the whole time while Simon puttered around cooking dinner.

He’s followed your career through the trade from Manchester to Richmond, then back to Man City and then Richmond again. 

And yeah, he’s had a little bit of a crush.

But god, there’s no fucking way he has a shot in hell. Sure, he’s the Premier League’s top player, but you? You’re on another level.

Paps don’t even bother trying to slander you anymore because they’ll never find a speck of dirt on you. There are always pictures of you volunteering, or visiting kids in hospitals, or petting dogs or some shit. Stuff that’s usually staged, but with you it isn’t.

You’ve never had a scandal hit the papers, always been spotted out with a famous model/actor/singer boyfriend who has never once been seen cheating on you. Jamie wonders if anyone could even consider cheating on someone with as much talent and kindness as you seem to possess.

Anyway, you’d never go for someone with his relatively checkered past. All you have to do is google “Jamie Tartt,” and there he is, making out with models, headlining cheating scandals, and having sex in fucking jacuzzis.

Yeah, you’d never go for it.

But as he’s at training, running drills and practicing goals, he keeps thinking about the way you looked with your feet in the pool, hair blowing softly in the breeze.

He decides to have a serious chat with Keeley.

—

He turns up to Keeley’s house and fucking Roy’s there, except this time it’s not really a surprise. Roy opens the door, scoffs, then walks away. 

“Prick’s here,” he calls to Keeley somewhere in the house, except it’s not as angry as it used to be. Jamie can almost trick himself into thinking it’s affectionate.

“Hello to you too, grandad,” he says to Roy’s back. Roy grunts and heads to the kitchen, presumably to finish making dinner. 

Keeley bounds down the stairs and wraps Jamie in a hug. “Glad you’re here, babe. Now we can have a good chat.”

She leads him to the couch and hands him a fluffy pink pillow, one that Jamie remembers throwing across the room more than once. Fuck, there’s another reminder why he shouldn’t even be thinking of seeing you again. He couldn’t properly emote when he was with Keeley, so how’s he supposed to navigate a serious relationship?

“Oi, stop overthinking,” Keeley says, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

“Weren’t overthinking,” Jamie replies automatically. “And since when are you a mindreader?” 

Keeley grins at that. “I’m not. Your face was just all twisty and shit, which means you’re actually using your brain for once. So come on, out with it.”

Jamie’s not entirely sure where to begin, but he opens his mouth and everything sort of comes spilling out. How he talked to you for ten seconds and is pretty sure he’ll never actually love again. And he’s convinced himself that he might have a shot but then he’s reminded of all his shitty choices and thinks he’ll never measure up but god fucking damnit, he wants something real and yeah, you’re another celebrity, but there’s something about your eyes or maybe it’s the way you move your hands, but he knows for sure that if you were just a regular girl he saw on the street, he’d feel the exact same way. 

Except neither of you are like, actually regular people, but for different reasons. And his fucking shitbag of a father is always looming in the back of his mind, especially since playing Man City the other week, and he won’t let his dad try to have any sort of hold over you because that would be shitty. So anyway, he’s pretty sure that’s everything and he’s probably going to die alone.

Keeley says, “Whoa,” with big eyes once he’s finished, and for a moment Jamie thinks she’s going to call a mental institute, but then she cocks her head and says, “Jamie, you do know that nothing’s actually happened, right? Like, you haven’t even asked her out?” and Jamie realizes that he’s been knee deep in his mind for a fucking long time.

“I mean, Roy’s no saint,” she continues while Roy shouts, “Oi!” from the kitchen, “and we still got together.”

Jamie just looks at her.

“Alright, bad example,” she says. “But hey, you’ll never know if you don’t try. I mean come on, you’re Jamie fucking Tartt! You’re like, the best footballer in all of England! And you’re right fit,” she says just loud enough for Roy to hear.

“I can’t cook for shit,” Jamie says miserably, and Roy barks out a short laugh while Keeley pats Jamie’s arm.

“You’re way too far in your fucking head, babe,” she says sympathetically. “Take it one day at a time, yeah? You don’t even know if you’ll see her again.”

table of contents

[goat-charcoop]

Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness

*Private Practice Season 1 Episode 1*

The moment the world met Charlotte King.

Looking back now, I have loved this character from the beginning. I've read about people who hated her at first but grew to love her as the series progressed, this thankfully did not befall me. I've always loved a badass, take no prisoners, speak your mind no matter what female main character with a soft heart hiding behind all the barb, and that my friends is Charlotte King.

The way she stormed into the series, telling Sam to get out of her way. Her face when the woman yelled, "I want Ken's sperm now!" Her "That dead man's swimmers are staying exactly where they are. You got a way to fight me on that? I'd like to see you try." Yes, queen! Her little smirk after she insults Sam's book, absolute Charlotte King at it's core and I am in love with it.

That lawyer also does not love his life. Raising his finger at Charlotte King, you are a brave soul, my dude.

Cooper is such a kid at heart. And I kind of love it, most of the time. That 'I'm just a baby' trend from a while back comes to mind when he acts all goofy.

After my rewatch he is now called Handsome Cooper, lol because when he greets Addison again he asks if she remembers him and says, handsome in such a wholesome 'how could you not, I'm a hottie' way and it kills me. Then him clutching Violet's stuff in the mall, him messing around with the fishing rod, such a boy *insert heart eyes* It also helps that everytime he's great with a kid on-screen I find him a little hotter than before.

Some other fave moments from this ep:

1. "That's a loud deposit." - Sam Bennett said something hilarious, who fucking knew.

2. I still like Pete this season, he also looks hot. Conceited but hot. Thinking Addison came back because of the kiss though, I mean, man bring down the ego a notch or three.

3. Where did Sam's dog go?

4. This interaction:

'How you doing there, Pete? ' -Addison

"Kicking ass and taking names. You? " Pete

"Ass kicking and name taking are on my resume." Addison (Fucking badass!) Also Addison last monologue, brilliant!

5. Eating a whole cake on the floor with your best friend, goals.

6. "Oh my god, when did my knees turn 80?" - Violet (feel you girl)

7. Midwiffery, is that even a word. 😂😂 I remember them joking about it on some interview too, hilarious.

Honourable mention:

The woman who played Violet's first patient did an absolutely phenomenal job, especially in her last scene. So heartbreaking.

And now the rambling is over, if you read all this I commend you.

Much love.

[klm-zoflorr]

Incorrect quotes..... Parthogenesis

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: This revenge shit is very unrewarding it turns out. I have lost all my friends and am devoid of the sweet sweet burn of anger now that I've accomplished my goal. Everybody hates me. I'm not allowed less than 50 meters from a government building. Help.

Armin: I TOLD YOU SO!

Eren: Well, good for you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: *driving down the road*

Hange, driving up the same road: *yelling out the window as she passes him* PIG!

Commander Magath: *yelling back at Hange* BITCH!

Commander Magath: *rounding next curb, he crashes into a hug pig in the middle of the road and dies*

Ymir Fritz, watching on: Ah, if men would just listen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: "sex" literally isn't real. "ohhh i just had sex" you "had" sex? where did it go? did it grow legs and run away?? idiot

Marcoco: Stop saying sex when what you mean is gender!!

Connie: I had gender with your mom

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Are you sure this is legal?

Annie: Why, are you taping this?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: God I do not like a single thing about you

Zeke: Tell me more

Hange: This isn't sexting

Zeke: It's better than sexting tbh

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Mikasa getting ready for her date with Eren*

Levi: Tell him if he breaks your heart, I'll nail gun his.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Annie: Joke's on her. I'll ruin her fucking life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Connie, Sasha! How could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?!

Connie: It... It didn't take us the whole day...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: The bad news is you've lost a lot of blood

Sasha: What's the good news?

Hange: Well we've found most of it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: *Calling the doctor* My wife is going into labor what do I do I have forgotten all of my medical training

Doctor on the other end of the call: Is this her first child?

Grisha: No this is her husband

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kuchel: You are so incredibly full of issues, you should do something about it! Go see a shrink, I don't know!

Kenny Ackerman: Oh yes!

Kenny: I've always been a big fan of head shrinking!

Kuchel: That's not-... That's not what it means...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Zofia: Why not?

Falco: Because you can't "C" in the dark...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kenny, at the therapist: Well, that is disappointing

Therapist: What is?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, at Mikasa's funeral: I need a moment with her... Alone. Please.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Levi, leaning over Mikasa′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I'm not fooled by your cadaver palor and unnatural stillness. I know you’re not dead.

Mikasa: Yeah, no shit.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Me and Annie, we get along fine in my beat up honda civic. We just don't have room to disagree.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: It's been hard not having Ymir around. I never thought I'd miss being waterboarded so much.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Annie and Porco on their first day as coast guards*

Boss: 7 people died on your watch today

Annie, looking off into the distance: Yes but the coast is fine

Porco:

Boss:

Porco: They were all very mean and refused to tip. So, we just threw them back in the water.

Annie: Also you only found seven. We killed a lot more.

Porco: Yeah, but you didn't have to mention that tho

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Therapist: Kenny, you have a problem verbalising your emotions

Kenny: Can't say I'm surprised

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: Love the train so much.... ...... I sit... ..... It goes........ ........ We arrive!!!!!

Connie: I understand that, but it still doesn't explain why we get to carry all the rails in 40 degree* weather while you sit in the shade and drink a monster energy on the rocks

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Carla: Can I have a private talk with you?

Grisha: Sure, as long as it’s not about tampons, because I just don’t understand them.

Hannes, wearing tampons as earplugs: How? It's so obvious what they're used for!

Carla: I asked for a PRIVATE talk with him!

Grisha: Oh, you just can't separate me and Hannes. We're a package deal!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic about me letting your cactus die?

Floch: Dramatic? Perhaps a little.

Floch: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look out the window with a grimly satisfied expression.

Floch: I paid this skywriter a lot of money to write “Eren likes pineapple on pizza” in the clouds.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: The sexual tension between me and self-destruction

Kenny: Nothing has sexual tension with you, kid

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: You can diffuse any situation by saying, "are we about to kiss, right now?"

Historia: Eren, not only is that completely false and a ridiculous concept, but it's also not appropriate at all, we are at your trial for global genocide for fuck's sake-

Eren, leaning towards her: Are we about to kiss, right now?

Historia:

Historia, beet red: Nevermind.

Gabi: Can we PLEASE find another judge for this?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: I've got a joke for you. What's "Ereh" short for?

Armin: What for?

Jean: He's got little legs

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Im a lesbiab

Annie: Lesbiam

Annie: Less bien

Mikasa: Its okay take ur time

Annie: Girls

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Annie and me buried the hatchet, figured you could try doing the same?

Ymir: I don't bury hatchets

Ymir: I sharpen them.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I don't like being an adult

Carla: Yup I told you

Eren: You remember how you told me you put me in this world and you can take me out?

Eren: Take me out.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: So, you want to be the Sun in my life?

Jean: Yes.

Mikasa: Good, then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Eren, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Eren: Well of course I have.

Eren: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Eren: It's boring.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for your foe, one for yourself.

Zeke: What a stupid fucking quote. I'm killing way more than two people idiot

Eren: Don't even bury them. Let them rot.

Zeke: Plus it's not like I'm gonna bury myself anyways? Why would I provide free cleaning labor like that

Eren: Maybe you're supposed to die in the grave?

Zeke: I'm not gonna dig myself a grave so someone can push me in and I can die as the biggest idiot that ever walked this Earth

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Udo, watching Gabi: If you were religious, that would be straight-to-hell behavior...

Gabi, putting scorpions in Zeke's dresser after he called her a shitty little kid: I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in Revenge

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin, about Eren: If karma doesn't hit you real quick, I fucking will.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: You know how in greek myths the people that die tragically sometimes get placed among the stars by the gods?

Colt: Yeah?

Falco: Call that a constellation prize.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, taking care of Reiner after he got injured: It's okay Braus, stay calm, stay calm

Reiner: My name isn't Braus, it's Braun

Sasha: I know, I'm talking to myself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Pieck sliding $5 to the zookeeper*

Pieck: Maybe one of those penguins ends up in my car?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Fun fact: Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color

Armin: Starfruit

Historia: So close! That's a shape <33

Mikasa: Orange

Historia: Try again! <3 The color orange is named after the fruit.

Connie: Grape! "Gra" for gray! 🍇🤲😊

Historia:

Jean: You also forgot blackberries

Sasha: You idiot, black isn't a color.

Gabi: What about raspberries

Ymir: Green beans?

Falco: Lemons!! ♥️🥰☺️

Reiner: Wait aren't berries not fruit?

Historia: You all are so fucking stupid.

Zeke: What about dragon fruit

Historia: I am going to stone you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

Connie: Which came first, the orange or the orange?

Historia: Orange was first used to refer to the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until around 1000 years ago.

Eren: What was the color called before then?

Sasha: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hitch: "I'm kind of in a weird mental place right now" I say, as if there are times when I am not in a weird mental place

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Erwin, bleary eyed at 7am: Why are you opening all the windows?

Levi: We have to let air in

Erwin: But it's raining!

Levi: You're not made out of sugar, are you?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Eren getting into Mikasa's car*

Eren: Let's go

Mikasa: Uh... Uh... Hi? Nice to see you too?

*Armin getting into the backseat*

Armin: Wait, she's our Uber driver?

Mikasa: Uber driver? I thought we were going on a date, Eren!

Armin: I thought this was a guy's night out!

Eren: There's been a change of plans.

Mikasa: You could have just asked?? You didn't have to trick us?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Porco: I'm not a 🚩 i'm more like a ⚠️ cause I do warn you, you just don't be listening

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: I'm not a 🚩 I'm a 🏁 cause you winnin' over there

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: I don’t know the first thing about fashion. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This titan? Not clothes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Thru the phone*

Erwin: Hey, I need your help, can you come back?

Hange: Uh, I can't, I'm buying clothes.

Erwin: Alright, well hurry up and come back to base.

Hange: I can't find them.

Erwin: What do you mean you can't find them?

Hange: I can't find them, there's only soup.

Erwin: What do you mean there's only soup?

Hange: It means there's only soup!

Erwin: Well then get out of the soup aisle!

Hange: Alright you don't have to shout at me!

*Silence*

Hange: There's more soup!

Erwin: What do you mean there's more soup?

Hange: There's just more soup!

Erwin: Go into the next aisle!

Hange: There's still soup!

Erwin: Where are you right now?

Hange: I'm at soup!

Erwin: What do you mean you're "at soup?"

Hange: I mean I'm at soup!

Erwin: What store are you in?

Hange: I'm at the soup store!

Erwin: Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?!

Hange: Fuck you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: And then we'll be transported to the Paths dimension, and we'll meet Ymir Fritz, that's our long-dead ancestor...

Eren: I can barely tolerate the living, why would I want to commute with the dead?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches?

Armin: WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU NECROMANCY A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND IT TURNS INTO AN ENTIRE PILE OF LIMES?

Armin: What if I accidentally necromancy a vaccine and then someone gets an armful of very live pathogen?

Armin: WHAT'S THE LIMIT ON DEADNESS? HOW RECENTLY DOES SOMETHING HAVE TO BE DEAD? COULD I NECROMANCY A DINOSAUR FOSSIL? WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED THE GROUND AND THEN DINOSAURS STARTED APPEARING?

Armin: WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED A LIMESTONE WALL AND IT JUST TURNED INTO A PILE OF MOLLUSCS? WHAT IF I MOLLUSCED A BUILDING? A MOUNTAIN?

Annie: Armin.

Annie: are u ok

Armin: NO

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Colt's contributions to meetings: What about the impact on civilian populations? Do we have enough ammunition, provisions in storage to not rely on outside help?

Falco's contributions to meetings: Do you think stars have feelings?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: It's been ten year since my beloved son Zeke died...

Zeke: I was never your beloved son! And quit telling people I'm dead!

Grisha: Sometimes it feels like I can still hear his voice...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: *wearing a shirt reading "cunt era"*

Eren: *wearing a shirt reading "I'm high as fuck and have a gun in my backpack"*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: The bad news is that you have a really rare disease

Rod Reiss: Oh, no. What's the good news?

Grisha: Well, you get to name it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: What's a good starter vice for someone who wants to get into ruining their life?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Smarties

Yelena: Heroin and mass murder

Levi: You're both at very different ends of the spectrum yet I don't think either of you understood the question

Levi: The real answer is Erwin Smith

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, getting up in the middle of a meeting: Pieck and I are not longer dating

Pieck: Zeke, that's a horrible way to tell people that we got married

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: My mother and I spent some quality time together. Got our hands dirty.

Pieck: Gardening?

Zeke: Grave-digging.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Food trucks but instead of food, it's therapy and they're called automofeels

Rod Reiss: I know you're my last living descendant but with that kind of suggestions, I feel like I'd be better off picking a manged rat off the street

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Yelena: But you do know better.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

Sasha: a dentist

Eren: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you but I think you need to go to the police

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Pieck is coming back with McDonalds*

Zeke, reaching for his happy meal: Sorry, but there's no "we" in "fries"

Pieck: But there is an "I" *she steals all of his fries*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: The feminine urge to be ominous & terrifying...

Hange: Mood

Mikasa: You are like if a moth was wearing clown shoes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: A fun fact about me is i have never forgiven anyone for anything

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: Have you ever been told you can be a bit intimidating?

Annie: Yes, every day of my life since kindergarten.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: Being alive is great because there are so many different great vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also The Horrors

Falco: So true

Falco: Actually no. This is weird.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Uri Reiss: What is a sex drive where is the sex going does it even have a licence

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, to Erwin: You're gay because you like men

Levi: I'm gay because I hate women just a tiny bit more than I hate men. We are not the same.

Hange: Yaoi vs shounen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: What’s it like being tall?

Historia: Is it nice?

Armin: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Reiner: I live in constant fear of the short people, who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I don't know whether to bail you out, Mikasa, you've been in jail three times.

Zeke: Dad, Eren is cheating.

Grisha: Calm down, son.

Zeke: You are supporting him just because he bought you a hotel on Park Place

Eren: Someone has to take care of him in his old age? Who is going to do it but me? You?

Mikasa: *slyly knocks the Monopoly board off the table😼*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Hey girl ive been yearning for you the normal amount

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: Great. Here comes the woke mob to cancel me for killing and eating several people.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The 104th, Hange, Erwin, Levi, Grisha, Carla, Hannes wearing party hats, popping confetti cannons and cheering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Eren: Uh. Thanks I guess?

Historia: You don't like being celebrated?

Eren: I prefer to be villified, my name invoking fear over a great cloud of darkness...

Carla: Muffins, Overlord?

Eren: Thamk you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: I like you lets go to hell together

Sasha: Hell? More like HELL P!! Ahah

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Rod Reiss: We need back-up with the military police!! Are you free?

Kenny: No actually, I am very expensive.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Since when are drapes flammable?

Historia: Since always, Connie! Drapes have ALWAYS BEEN FLAMMABLE!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Parental figure: Don't go into the forest, it's full of lemon-stealing whores!

Teenage Hange: Ooh, spooky!

Teenhange: What specific parts of the woods are they in, so I can avoid them extra hard?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, in front of Sasha's grave: Rip i was always into you

Sasha, popping out from behind a tree: ? Worst confession ever

Reiner: You're not dead??

Reiner: I lied

Reiner: You are nothing to me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Gabi and Falco looking over the bones of Rod Reiss*

Falco: What happened to him?

Historia: Ah well, he tried to outpizza the Hut

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: I heard it's supposed to rain

Colt: Oh, yeah? But look at this sun!

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Brr, getting a bit cold, uh?

Gabi: Yeah, it's supposed to rain later

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Zeke passing through next to Magath adressing the kids*

Commander Magath: We're not gonna do the lesson outside today, it's supposed to rain

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Galliard, mind helping me set up the tables outside for my mind reading scam?

Porco: Don't start this now, it's supposed to rain this afternoon!

Zeke: I heard it's never going to rain again.

Porco: What is the fucking matter with you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: I decided I'm actually not gonna break up with you over your corny jokes, Porco convinced me otherwise.

Zeke: What a re-LEAF. I should get you flowers. I know it STEMS from a place of love, now our relationship can BURGEON out of bounds.

Pieck: I changed my mind.

Zeke: Ok, but Porco avocated for me?? Really?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Zeke? What was that message you sent me?

*Shows him the phone, with a garbled texting mess on it that reads as follows: pleusr bereing qi 2 auffce chabi goht pik 🏹. shi went hair glleiteur pin. kiuk houry aim worrded*

Zeke: "Please bring the key to the office back, Gabi is threatening Pieck at gunpoint, she wants her glitter pen back and I seem to be the only one worried about it."

Annie: I read serial killer diaries with better punctuation than this

Zeke: But do you have the keys?

Annie: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: What about the bow emoji?

Zeke: They censored the gun on my phone

Annie: No, look there's the little water gun...

Zeke: It doesn't convey the urgency of the situation

Annie: Nothing in your message conveys the urgency of the situation since you need a degree in foreign languages to understand it

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Do you have any children?

Dina Fritz: Yes, I have one that's just under two.

Commander Magath: I know how many one is

Commander Magath: Is he big enough to man a cannon yet

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yelena: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Be myself?? The person who got me into this mess???

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: Will I find a purpose?

Annie, posing as a fortune teller: No.

Ymir: u didn't do the thing with the cards

Annie: *flips one card, maintaining eye contact* No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: *unbuttoning shirt* Oh my god, it's hot as hell in here.

Yelena: Yes, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: You into cars?

Ymir: Yes, it truly was a masterpiece of a film

Connie: No i mean are you a cars person

Ymir: I'm a human.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: I tried making my own Red Bull with crushed up caffeine pills, twenty-one shots of expresso, carbonated licorice water and gummy vitamins. The doctor said I'm lucky to be alive.

Connie, 24 hours before: I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and am fighting my own soul. I'm winning by the way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: i am at a loss for words to describe how absolutely stupid this plan was!

Sasha, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, the Captain yelled at us for the next thirty minutes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Hange getting ready to go on an expedition in the titan forest*

Hange: If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there's a good chance I'm enjoying myself.

Levi: ...figured that one out

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa, when Eren leaves for Zeke's side: You're leaving me? I'm coming with you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: What's the difference between Reiner and a magnet?

Gabi: A magnet has a positive side!

Reiner: Ah-Ah. Very funny.

Falco: A magnet would have laughed at this quality joke!

Reiner: I wish I were an household item

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: You know, you look pretty fit yourself. What do you play?

Erwin: Anybody that gets close enough.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mr. Xaver: I'm sorry Zeke, your dad was pronounced dead

Zeke: *tearing up*

Zeke: I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time??!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: I tried your "salad" thing today, and Ew. I only ate one of those red and white nasty apple things, and I couldn't handle it after.

Pieck: Radishes, Historia

Historia: Mini dirt apples

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kenny the Boomer, looking at his dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch, lovingly, to Eren: You inspire me to be so much worse

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch, interviewing people: What do you want for Christmas?

Annie: Uhhh... for me to be alive

Levi: You know those microfibers cloths they have at big stores?

Historia: I just want Captain Levi to have a great time. Cause, he's been really really sad and angry lately. And you know, that's all I really need, more happiness in the world.

Connie: I'll say I want a big booty hoe, sitting on my face right now. Blrrr!

Sasha: Free weed!

Eren: Uhhhh.... World peace

Mikasa: Dick

Hange: *Pouring everyone a big glass of her special cocktail* Mental stabilityyyy baby!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Jean: *moon-walks out of the room*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded dilapidated training camps, taught by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yelena: I've tried some eyeliner, thoughts?

Floch: Sorry but someone already has swag in this enimity and it's ME

Yelena: You? Cool? You are like if a moth was wearing clown shoes.

Floch: Where did you even hear that expression

Yelena: Idk

Floch: Well you look like you could stab someone with these anyways

Yelena: The clown shoes?

Floch: The eyeliner.

Yelena: That's the goal

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke organising a play about his life: Porco, I think you should play the role of my father.

Porco: I don't want to be your father??

Zeke: That's perfect, you already know your lines!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: I don’t know why I do the things I do. Never did. I’m a damn mystery to myself. It makes my existence... Exciting, you know. You never know what's gonna happen. Am I going to jail, am I getting a medal for bravery? Am I driving on the highway at three in the morning to ruin my life and everybody in this town's again??

Ymir: Are you gonna get caught, cooked and eaten by a random girl in the woods?? Who the hell knows.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Porco, in his jock attire, yelling at the tv*

Bertholt: You're yelling like the players are actually gonna listen to you

Porco: You're in love with a girl who doesn't even know you exist

Bertholt:

Bertholt: Never talk to me again

*Bertholt goes to his room to try and glue back the shattered remains of his ego*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: I think my dad never loved me.

Zeke: HA! Loser. I always KNEW my dad never loved me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, leaving the Training Corps in s2 to go save her family: There I go side questing again!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on the plane?

Armin: Yes, but I'm not that kind of...

Flight attendant: The pilots are debating the merits of the terminologies of "the dark ages" vs. "late antiquity" vs. "the early middle ages".

Armin: Okay. I'm here.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: Annie... I need to tell you something.

Annie: Alright?

Bertholt: You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up then you're down, you're right when it's wrong, you... I guess what I want to say is you're incredible and I care about you. You're so good... At everything. I deeply admire you. I could get lost in the blue of your eyes, I feel like I'm flying when I look at you. Your hair is a golden crown, which you deserve because you are a queen. Your laugh is rare and dry like an oasis in the desert, it's the only thing in the world that can quench my thirst. What I'm trying to say is... I love you.

Annie: Alright.

Bertholt:

Annie: Thanks. You... Uh... You always fill a room with your presence... Like a stately sequoia tree.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: *sees a ghost* omg are you dead

Ghost Gabi: Of corpse

Ghost Gabi: The other ghosts said they'll beat my ass because of this joke. Grave mistake.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: Oh yes, my uncle is out of town, said something about tying up loose ends?

Uri Reiss:

Kenny: *tying up the ends of a black bag filled with a dead body*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Gabi:

Gabi: I don't think you know what this sentence means

Gabi: But yes, it's a gun.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Are you alright?

Historia: I'm fine.

Connie: No, but really?

Historia: I mean yeah i carry around an immense sadness that destroys my will to live more and more everyday but like im fine

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Erwin: I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

Erwin: But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: We have an issue. Most of your bleeding is internal.

Marcel: Well, isn't that good news?! That's where the blood is supposed to be anyways!

Pieck: I don't think it's in the benefit of humanity as a whole to try to save him...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I act as if I don't care if people dislike me. But deep down? I secretly enjoy it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yes, do believe good cop/bad cop is the essence of the MikAnnie dynamic

Yes, I know titans aren't supposed to leave bones behind. I'm gonna need you to get allll the way off my back about this!

Yes, I did watch the Wednesday series recently. It's a good show, innit? Full of punchy one-liners!

Yes, this end note is getting entirely too repetitive.

Yes, there's more?

*: 104° F for you eagle people