#like didn’t he fail pe in one event lmao???????

[akkivee]

the cards for rosho’s high school au are those participating in the sports festival which means they got saburo doing extensive physical activity, and i do wish him luck lmao

[legendofzelda4life]

Cake and Tears

Hello everybody, this was meant to be for yesterday (day seven).

It’s been a whole week. I hope you guys have enjoyed and will continue to.

Anyway this is a Blue/Red fluff (obvi platonic) I haven’t read the whole Four Swords manga but I have this feeling that Blue would be protective of Red.

Let’s go.

Also TW: mentions of r*pe (ik im an asshole for this plot)

------------------------------

“I swear to Din Vio, shut the fuck up.” Blue said to the calmest of the four versions of Link.

“Why should I? You suck at this.” Vio spoke, watching Blue. “I will not hesitate to kill you, V.”

Blue was holding the knife he was using to cut, yet another, failed attempt of a cake, to Vio’s chest.

“If Vio dies, we all die.” Green said from his seat on the bench.

“Works for me, means I won’t have to see you guys everyday.” Blue looked towards the green clad hero. “And will you please... get the fuck off my bench.” He shoved Green off the bench as he spoke. “You’re an idiot-” 

Vio was cut off by Blue putting the knife back to his chest.

“Fine, kill me, but don’t come crying when you never get to see Red again.” Vio said. Blue’s eyes widened and the knife clattered to the ground. He then crossed his arms with a huff. “I wouldn’t care.” He said.

Lie.

“We know you like Red the most out of the three of us.” Vio said.

“Tch. I do not.”

Lie.

“Oh so you hate him then?” “Yes Vio, I despise him with every part of my being.” Blue laced his words with sarcasm.

“Mhm… turn around.” Vio said with a smirk, causing Blue to turn wearily, scared that Red was there. Instead, he was met with Green holding a perfectly made cake.

“Man! Fuck you for being able to cook.” Blue said with a laugh, taking the cake as it was shoved into his hands. “Yeah, yeah. Now go cheer up Red.” Green said.

“Do I have to?” He whined. If he was being completely honest, which he hated doing by the way, he’d tell them he loved making Red happy.

But that would ruin his reputation.

“YES!!!” Woah, a response from both of them.

Scary.

“Why?” He asked.

“You’re the only one that can cheer up Red when he’s like this.” Vio said, shoving a drink into Blue’s arms before pushing him out the kitchen.

Blue walked down the hall towards Red’s room, beginning to ponder. If he loves Red’s personality, is this self love? Or friendship? Blue ran out of time to think as he arrived in front of Red’s door.

“Red?” He called for the hero.

“Mmmmmmm.” Red groaned from inside the room. No, not one of those groans, you perverts. It was the ‘bitch-I-just-woke-up-fuck-you-want?’ groans.

“Can I come in?” “Yeah.” Red’s voice was hoarse. How much had he been crying?

Blue opened the door and walked in. Red was on his stomach but was facing the door.

“I brought cake?” Blue was so weary, the statement sounded more like a question. “Put it down and get out.” Red rolled over.

“Wow okay, I understand I was pulling Green’s voice but I really thought the tunic would give it away.” Blue said. Upon hearing his voice, Red sat up. “Cuddles?” He asked, reaching his arms out. Blue chuckled. It was quite adorable when Red was like this. He had always acted younger than the other three heroes but it was cute sometimes.

“Of course.”

Red excitedly moved over and patted a spot on the bed, where Blue layed with a chuckle. Red immediately cuddled into Blue, wrapping his arms around the others waist. “Wanna talk about it?” Blue asked. Red shook his head.

“I just want cuddles. Just let me stay like this for a while. Blue nodded silently before hugging Red back. They must’ve sat there for hours, even laying down at one point.

Suddenly Red shot up, looking around frantically, before pulling his knees to his chest and crying.

“Red?” Blue asked, reaching out for the other hero. He flinched slightly. “Sorry, sorry. It’s fine. I shouldn’t be crying. Go back to sleep” Red rubbed his face with one hand, removing his tears as he layed back down. What caused this? How often did it happen?

Was it every night?

Blue didn’t know. But what he did know was that, if Red putting his face into Blue’s chest and hugging him was anything to go off, he was really upset.

“What happened?” Blue himself didn’t even know what he was asking about. Was it about why Red was sad? Or was it about the dream?

“What?” Red asked. (this is where it reloaded the first time)

“What made you upset?” Blue asked, rubbing circles on the red-clad hero’s back. Red tensed up and Blue could basically feel the boy’s blood run cold. “You don’t have to tell me.” He blurted out quickly. “No, it’s okay.” Red took a deep breath in. “Remember that guy I was dating?” Blue nodded in response. He didn’t know too much about the guy, except the moment everyone layed eyes on him…

Blue and Vio did not like him.

Well, in Blue’s case, that’s underestimating it.

Blue hated - absolutely despised - the guy Red was with.

Vio thought it would have bad consequences once they go back together as Link but Blue just hated him. (i cant think of what to name him lmao)

“H-he- he…” Red’s voice became small. “He... did stuff to me Blue.” His voice rose back to it’s normal tone after this. “I didn’t want it. But afterwards, he left without a word.” Red broke down again. 

Red was…

No, Blue didn’t want to believe it…

He couldn’t believe it…

How did Blue let this happen to one of his counterparts?

Let alone his favourite?

At this point, Blue had no doubt he was radiating heat considering how much that made his blood boil. He didn’t say anything, scared he would upset Red further, and just let the other boy cry into his chest.

“You wanna talk to Green or Vio?” Blue asked. Red shook his head. “They’ll be mad at me. I knew you and Vio didn’t like him but this? This would disappoint Green too.” Red hugged Blue tighter. “How did I let this happen, Blue? It’s my fault isn’t it? I never wanted it so he just did it...” Red trailed off, eyes full of terror as he recounted whatever events may have occurred.

Seeing that look on his face caused Blue to snap.

“None of this is your fault! He was an asshole that took advantage of you and I’m about this close to beating the absolute shit out of him!” Blue roared, jumping to his feet. “Your fingers are touching…” Red said, realization dawning upon him. “Exactly.” “Blue, no.” The boy wanted to argue but if Red said no, Red means no.

And unlike someone… Blue respected that.

“Okay.” He sat back on the bed, Red sitting next to him.

“What about the dream?” Blue asked. Red became extremely quiet. Blue turned to see the boy with tears running down his face, huddling further into Blue’s side. “You don’t have to-”

“Promise you won’t ever leave, Blue. Promise me!” Blue was surprised by Red’s words. Was the dream really that bad? “I promise I won’t leave you.” He said, looking the other hero in the eyes. “Good.”

Red fell asleep soon after but Blue couldn’t even close his eyes.

Blue had a plan but wanted to wait for Red to be okay with it first

Green walked in the room slowly.

“How is he?” He signed, wanting to be quiet. Blue put his hand sideways and made an ‘eh’ motion. Green just nodded slightly before walking back out.

A few days later

“You still wanna beat the shit outta him?” Red asked. The boy’s mood had brightened little by little over the past few days. He had decided to tell Vio and Green, with Blue’s help of course.

“Yes, but I wanna be the only one.” He looked to Green and Vio who didn’t object. Was his protectiveness of Red really that obvious? Probably. Did he care? No.

Blue stormed into the guy’s house.

“Oh hey Blue, where’s your brother?” Blue had actually forgotten they introduced themselves as siblings. “Not here.” Blue snarled. “Oh what a shame, it’s so cute when he begs for me to stop. Y’know-”

Yeah, Blue just punched this guy in the face.

“Stop. Fucking. Saying. Shit. About. Red. You. Fucking. Asshole.” With each word, there was a punch. Blue was holding the boy by the collar and was relentlessly bashing his face in. He then threw the guy at a wall, a sickening crack emitting from his, already broken, nose.

Blue then got on the ground next to him and kept throwing hits.

“You fucking piece of shit! What the fuck gave you the right to do that to Red, huh?!?!” He was fired up. Given, the guy probably couldn’t respond, but Blue was venting.

He was continuously punching the guy over and over, rebreaking already broken bones from the first few hits. The guy ended up with a shattered cheekbone, the other one also broken, an unhinged jaw, a broken nose, a black eye in the first stages of forming, a few missing teeth, and, no doubt, more than two broken ribs.

Blue dropped him to the floor.

“Fuck you.” He seethed through his teeth before walking out.

Let’s just say, nobody asked why Blue was covered in blood that, obviously, wasn’t his.

END

-----------------------------

This was a rollercoaster of emotions for me to write lol. I’m sorry if this triggered anyone in anyway. 

I hope you guys at least enjoyed Blue beating the shit out of the fuckboy lmao.

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUESTS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

[sassaetcie]

The Molten Charcoal Chapter 3 (Idia x Silver fic)

So here we go again lmao

The whole night must have been fresh and cool for all of NRC for sure, even for Twisted Wonderland, actually. The corridors were still full of darkness, and probably peacefully mixed with them until the break of dawn. Still, I could get a grasp of them until before meeting Trey and Jamil... Not after. Did... I actually meet them at all? I... couldn't have met them, right? I probably was tired... Yes, for once, I was exhausted because I had walked too much, that's all... I couldn't possibly have met them. ...But then why didn't I feel the frost again? The biting air wasn't there anymore when I had rushed into the corridors. This temperature wasn't trying to beat up the fire. The ice had disappeared. Because I ran. If my sparks were becoming arson, there was no way for the surroundings to survive, after all. Though... I wouldn't have escaped from "nothing". So... it must have happened. I... met Trey and Jamil. Why would have I to run? I didn't cultivate this aspect of my body for obvious reasons (lol), and using the runaway option was only increasing my body temperature. SO I SHOULDN'T HAVE RUN. But I may have dreamed of that part too, right? There was no way... There was no way "this" was so good... no, well-done in a dream. There was no way for "it" to be so frightening. Suffocation. Suffocation. Suffocation. SUFFOCATION. SUFFSUFFSUFFSUFFSUFFCalmdown. Calm down, everything's alright, I'm in my room, I'm just writing... SuffSuffSuff. No, it's alright. I will have a pretty cake for Silver... It will be hella good and pretty cause Trey made it, right? But I need to do... SUFFSUFFSUFFSUFFSUFFSUFFSUFFFSUFFF. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I CAN'T DO THIS. THERE'S NO WAY. I'M FUCKING GOING TO FALL OF MY BROOM. NAH, I WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO CLIMB ON IT. THAT'S... Calm down, that's alright, I still have time. I still have time. I have to meet Silver... But if I can't get the cake, that's alright... But Trey could tell Riddle about it?! No, no, no, I shouldn't think about that... I don't want the red pest to come to my door and behead me... Guillotine Man should stay in his dorm... He will stay in his dorm for sure if I don't cause any troubles... But I never... I guess Vil and Guillotine Man are somehow ashamed that I stay in my room and don't act for the school... Fuck... I don't want to go to PE... It's so boring and useless... And it's already dawn... I should take a nap... Like really... What the fuck is going on...  I need to sleep or I'm just going to collapse during the class and bring shame on Ortho and Trey's trust... But I could avoid the class this way... Why did I even accept... Suff... Suff... Suff... That's getting better...? I guess the heat went out for a moment... I should really take a nap...

[Started Recording at : 10 am : Third? Day]

An unpredictable event occurred. Actually, it was not that unpredictable. Certainly, unpredictable could have been cut in two when it comes to this "situation". Unpredictable did not possess the event neither the flow of time, as it could for sure not, but rather took place in a person nobody even expected to be unpredictable. The fact it was unexpected was not unexpected in itself, but rather unexpected because this person had been predictable so far. Thus, the cogs and gears were not going crazy so far, neither were the flames and water. Idia was not that bad a case in itself. But what could have led him to this blazing lesson? The sun was observing him more than any students, after all. His deadly brethen had not shown his face for a long time, although remembering each time Idia got outside would be a mess. The lonely star so craved by all was pouring all of his heat down to the ground. Shroud tried to grip the Hair with His hands. It only flows away all around the fingers, running away from the line they should have drawn.

-IDIAAAAAA SHROUUUUUUD! SO YOU HAVE FINALLY COME TO STRENGHTEN THIS BODY OF YOURS! YOU HAVE BEEN CHARMED BY MUSCLES, THE NEED TO HAVE MUSCLES, THE MELODY OF MUSCLES!

-I just came cause it's my responsibility as a Dorm Leader, kinda... Ortho will have less work, lol.

The sleeve barely scratched his dusty or soft or dreamy or melting cheek. Was it moving on its own...? The hand seemed to have disappeared, now. It moved before grasping the broom barely beneath his... feet, clothed in some shoes like he should have worn for such a lesson. They took some steps before the yellow, almost closed eyes, refusing to face the infinite sun and its bright, shiny sky, probably. The green, quiet grass kept on dancing under the wind regular flying, but he could not touch it. His hands swipe up some sweat already telling him to run away and seek for lakes, but he had to face this fire. For whatever reason he had... Or was Idia acting on whim "once again"? This whim was a very special one, after all. ...Or was it a forfeit for some failed raid in a MMORPG?

The broom awoke once either the boy or the blaze took it. The wood and straws gather higher than usual, and his hands barely remained hanged above the ground. They... were flying. Idia was not above neither falling down. He was simply, absolutely, definitely, hanging on. The white ash hands did not fuse with anything they grasp, if grasping could even be known to them. Yet the blue hair kept on pushing him upwards. It was... abnormal. The hues of blue, made out of burning oceanic, as hard as a ghost was, as transparent as the wood was, flickered in the sky. The blue and blue could fight one day for sure. The Shroud's flames kept on pushing away the wind even if Idia tried to climb on the ordinary yet magical broom. Yet His fingers were brushing what seemed to be a breeze, catching it before clinging on the tool like he had never done it.

-GOOOOOOD! THAT'S REALLY NOT BAD FOR SOMEONE WHO SKIPS ALL OF MY CLASSES, MR SHROUD! YOU BETTER BE PRESENT STARTING FROM TODAY!

The broom barely let him fall, this Ignihyde's leader barely fell from the broom. Both of them were yet to be hurt, and plagues and pain had no more to do with them, if they ever had. The simple, carved by times and mistakes, tool, was lying among the infinite grass field from which his semi-owner had never tried to escape. There was no escape to the neverending ground, neverending ground rejecting again and again this huge amount of fire, united before him, and divided from him. The smouldering curse was floating behind him, above his face. Even the scorching one was far from the fusing, since it hated it so much. It was the one behaving the Scorn in front of this "fusing". The "hair" could not be cut. Could not be dyed. Could not die. Could not fade. It was the one asking for others to fade and die. The boy somehow wrapped by the fire which did not burn nor die stood up again, on his legs, again.

-Hehe, Idia~ You look so dreamy and at ease today, you're so cuuuute~!

A certain light appeared and disappeared, along a noise that should have been away if reality was to be taken care of.

-...Huh, Cater, what the...

The light and its sound had hit him. He rubbed his eyes one, two, three, four times, and this number was not unknown to him while he did it. One. Two. Three. Four. And the phone had shone on him, on his body and flames, one, two, three times. His being froze on the spot, even if the burning strands kept on flowing. The yellow eyes disappeared, then appeared again. The reality they displayed certainly was not going away. Thus, should they disappear among his two hands? No one had the same hair as him. Even if his whole face were to vanish, the Shroud Crown would remain. Cater Diamond took another picture, as Ashton Vargas was looking away, even if a blue-haired student, a red-haired student, a gray-haired student, a yellow-haired student, a blue-eyed student, a red-eyed student, a gray-eyes student, a yellow-eyed student were watching, even if... Idia would not move. If he were to run away, someone would have to get really disappointed, at least.

-Mr Diamond, can you stop bullying my Big Bro, pleaaaaaase? ;v;

-But Idia is like so pretty in the daylight~~~ C'm'on let me just take another pic and I'll give you plenty of sweets, or I can take a pic of you too, cuties pies are so popular~!

-Please, Mr Diamond, I'll ask you to stop, my Big Bro isn't feeling good at all when he was succeeding in something he had never succeeded before. :(

-C'm'on, just one another and I'll put cute filters on the old piiiiics, I promise~

-I am very sorry Mr Diamond, but if you keep going like this, I might have to reach the protocole end.

-Eeeeh~ What do you mean, lil' Ortho~ Is it like making a cute face and begging for your brother's life~

-I will have to [eliminate] the problem. Laser beam can be used.

-Okaaay~ I'll stop, then, sorry lil' Ortho, I was really mean to you~

-Apologize to my Big Bro. And delete all of your pics. We may have to sue you for copyrights if you don't, and you're taking pics in the middle of a class, you're a bad student, Mr Diamond~! :D

-Idiaaa, I'm so sorry, I really hope you won't hate dummy dummy Cater~

The human made of prothesis was a shield of attached limbs. They could have been falling down. Yet he stood as a whole in front of the "brother". His fractured hair barely reached the curse of his semi-creator, but all of the blessed, electronic, lights could hide him when united. The heat was probably spreading up to this point... Or more likely, reversing itself. Ortho's feet were anchored deep in the ground. He was handling movement and kinetic so far.

-I'm really sorry Idia~ I'm really going to cry in my room uuuh~ I'm so dumb, sowwy~

-The lesson has ended, Mr Diamond, you should go back to Heartslabyul Dorm. Or should I call Mr Rosehearts...

-No~ Really, that's alright~ Sorry for the troubles~

Cater's smile went away along himself, even if his fake light and heat were not vanishing as easily. His curly orange hair following him as a fluffy fireball lacked a part of it, even if none strand could hinder his eyesight nor brain. His hands could obey a supportive mind, following them to put neverending green so far, emerald one day, around his eyes of his. He was not full of flames, though. But his flesh colored lips were both of water and fire, even if pink or magenta nails were to touch them to arrange a smile. Was this expression another set of crowns he had to wear? He was no longer here to check if it were the case or not. The others had left as well, and Vargas was probably running somewhere else, if this somewhere was still useful to describe. He probably had to run until what was known to teach aliens about the Way of Muscles if they were not that much into it.

-Are you alright, Big Bro? :(

-Y-y—yeah... Thanks for saving me... I'm just so stupid... I was... just... daydreaming... I wasn't fully awake and I just really thought it was a dream, something bad could have occurred, I'm sorry, you could have been hurt because of me and...

-No, no that's okay, Big Bro! You tried really hard to come here, right? Even if you were daydreaming, you didn't try to stay in your room during what was supposed to be your "dream", right?

-W-well... Yeah... There's a reason, though... That's not because I want to unsconciously go outside or shit like that...

-Don't worry, I wasn't about to quote Freud, Big Bro! :D

-Thanks, I would have been coerced to u-update you if you did.

Shroud tried once more to draw his sleeves out until they covered the hair which did not belong to him, however belong to him. Ortho was probably the only one witnessing the scorching waterfall, among all of the quiet universe. But that was already too much. Not enough to trigger the curse. "Not enough". Too much. Ortho and crowds were equal in a sort.  

-I... don't want to go and see Silver anymore, O-Ortho... I-I'm... sorry...

-You will go, Idia. You need to talk to him and I can't cancel it anymore, you know? :(

-Y-yes, I know but... I'm already scared of Cater talking to me only a few minutes... and a date i-i-i-isn't supposed to l-l-l-last only a few m...minutes, right?

-Yes, Big Bro. But Cater makes you uneasy because he is "fake", right? Silver is very likely not, since you were not afraid of him... or are you afraid of people knowing what they want more than behaving in a certain way, and ready to anything to get what they want?

-I... don't really know... I just feel like Silver... I just feel like I may understand him... or that he may understand me? One or the other way round...

-Then, everything will go smoothly!

-I'm just... worried... Silver may actually have forgotten about me and think I'm weird... Or maybe I'll say a bad thing without noticing and I will make him angry or sad...

The cold hands, away from the fire for a long time, touched Idia's ones. His whole system was probably facing the curse, like it has always done. His body made of white and black un-flesh could survive against the ominous glowing.

-You'll be able to defeat this one fear, Big Bro! You still have a lot of days left, and I'll be watching over you so that you can make the most of them, okay? Test a lot of stuff, nothing will happen to you, I promise. :D

-But it will slow you down in your studies and you may have to skip some lessons if I were to try... no, no, no... I will just go to the date, okay...

-If you are happy in the end, then I'd rather skip some classes and finish my full year without worrying for you!

-H-huh...

-Of course that doesn't mean I want to get rid of you, okay? I just want to answer your concern when it comes to my results. I will be alright.

-Y-Yeah, sure, so will I, then...

[Ended Recording at : 11:30 am : Third? Day]

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

so prompted the other day from someone commenting on one of my personal posts lamenting on my poor time management skills and how I was a good-ish student without studying etc during early high school and then by year 10 I had fuck all idea how study..... I decided to look up adhd in girls. like obviously i am not self-diagnosing myself with it bc i know that it’s a super common and serious behaviour condition. but holy fuck, i just read something about it that hit me so fucking hard that.... fuck me. i just feel so attacked:

obviously I don’t relate to the softball practice bc I never did extracurriculars and I hated sport lmao. but the writing/writer bit. and “working overtime” to get a high grade on my english assignments..... as well as over-practicing my drama stuff at home and wanting my performances to be perfect.... i was known to basically everyone as a student who should’ve been in the top English class. but it was wrested away from me bc of my lack of understanding and appreciation for shakespeare in a year 8 in class assessment on Romeo & Juliet “being starcrossed lovers” that I basically failed bc I came out with a D instead of an A or a B. like fuck. this hit me hard.

they had another point about how the girl with adhd is usually the class helper- like I was in my english classes. bc I would edit everyone’s work, be their living thesaurus & dictionary, as well as giving everyone answers on the assigned texts, because i was the only person in my class who was bothered enough to read the texts in full and enjoy them. then I never received much thanks for it.

but my maths homework? never done. or my very occasional maths take-home assignments? done by my dad at the last minute when I remembered that excel was, in fact, an actual thing. hell I didn’t even do my CLASS WORK most of the time. i instead either half wagged my maths classes (I have several posts on this behaviour lmao) or purposely “fell asleep” in my maths classes as a joke for everyone to “wake me up (wake me up inside)” like Jeff from the wiggles. bc I thought it was funny. but now I’m 24 and never (really) learned how to read a graph or learned how to calculate the mean/median and average & range and mode or whatever the fuck, etc etc. like yeah. my maths is absolutely abysmal.

my geography homework and assignments? barely ever done. and again, at the vexation of the poor kids who were assigned to sit next to me and my year 9 geo teacher who liked me, my geo class work was never done to standard. and I would pull the same “wake up Jeff” routine in geography. even though I could’ve easily done well with that year 9 teacher and my year 10 geo teacher too bc at least we also got along.

my history homework and assignments? done, depending on the teacher, the topic and the type of history. like I was useless at modern history (bc I disliked it- especially australian history lmao minus Vietnam and maybe a bit of the Cold War era spy stuff... it was the politics lmao). but, on the other hand, I was pretty good at ancient history (until I had to try and write a historical essay- and that fucked me up big time in years 11/12 and also uni). i was also mega good at aboriginal studies (like aboriginal cultural history) when I swapped schools. but I dropped out of it, due to my fear of the major project which I knew I wouldn’t meet.... bc it was literally like 50% of the total subject mark at the end of year 12.

so then my focus aside from english & ancient history in year 12 became community and family studies/cafs/social studies and my technical theatre and events management course. which both ended up with marks near the 70s, I think, at the end of year 12. my teachers were good so I went okay.

my science homework? done sometimes, depending again on the topic and the teacher.... but also that one time one teacher wanted me to go to the regional science fair bc he thought my project was good.... but I didn’t do it bc i thought my work wasn’t that good and I didn’t want to do the extra effort of the boards and presenting it.... ESPECIALLY since I’d written that coke/coca-cola was “burp fuel” in my intro. like. burp fuel??? at the regional science fair? oh god. no. no thank you. that’s mortifying both back then AND now, looking back at it. but then again, maybe that’s the part my teacher wanted me to omit in the “clean up”/editing of my work for the science fair lmao. my biology stuff in years 11/12 though? awful. so much so that I solely passed year 12 bio with the miracle of mark scaling. and this was despite the efforts of one of my friends trying to tutor me in our shared free periods.

and obvs my PE stuff was never done.... even that one assessment that was writing/illustrating a kids book about how to be healthy. which if I’d done it, I would’ve probably gone well. but it was my utter distrust of the PE/sport faculty and loathing of sport, and also the fact that when I tried to write it; it didn’t seem authentic or genuine.... that drove me not to do that assignment.

aside from academics/grades.... the other thing that hit me was that adhd girls are typically seen as the “funny/loud/tomboy” etc girls but are also exceedingly shy. like that full on attacked me too. bc it’s exactly like my flip from catholic school to public school. going from being the loud & funny sailor mouth girl who sometimes asked crass questions in PE due to the shows she watched and to see if people would laugh and did whack shit in her drama classes..... but with mostly topsy-turvy marks. to being the quiet shy and suddenly high achieving former private school girl at public school who never did any loud shit out of the blue. like. yeah. like now when I look back at my facebook statuses about me in drama class or other dumb shit I did outside of drama class in catholic school I’m like “hmmm, can’t relate” and “what the FUCK that was ME??? I don’t know her.” bc of the nervous wreck that I actually am lmao.

there was one more point to that was like “adhd boys will typically sit “with one foot on their chair in class”. and I was like. “hmmm. why does that remind me so vividly of my year 7 geo teacher/year 9 commerce teacher frequently labelling me as a “health hazard” bc I’d sit cross legged on my chairs during class????”

I also had a flashback while reading that particular article, to how, in primary school, my teachers regularly encouraged the kids who were assigned to sit beside me on table groups or whatever in class; to put a ruler between us to mark out our separate sides of the desk; so that whoever sat next to me had their own desk space and I had mine.... all bc my side was frequently unorganised/messy. that’s because when I physically handwrote things, I’d tire quickly and so slouch in my seat a bit and put my head on my other arm to write (this is my condition hypotonia/developmental coordination disorder).... so I took up a load of desk space doing that. while the other person’s side of the desk was usually neat and ordered and they obvs didn’t have my posture etc when physically handwriting something. like I’d try to have my side neat & ordered like everyone else, but it always ended up in a state of disarray somehow. like HOO BOY IT’S ALL ADDING UP.

but also yeah. I’m not self-diagnosing bc that’s such common thing on this site. but. like. yeah I need to get to a psychologist or a psychiatrist and see. because so many things are adding up and maybe I do have some overlapping traits from adhd???? bc as ive said before, my condition hypotonia/developmental coordination disorder, has some links with adhd apparently, from what I’ve read recently on it. and it’s really starting to interfere with my life bc I can’t use a diary properly etc and don’t know how to hold myself accountable with deadlines other than doing everything to the last minute until I burn out, monumentally.

anyway.

don’t reblog this please. lmao. it’s just a musing.