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#like doing that once with morph turning into sabretooth is one thing
s0fter-sin · 4 months
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storm saying “connection is a fragile treasure, one we sacrifice so much to maintain” as morph is trying to comfort wolverine only for wolverine to let them when they shift into sabretooth, starting a trend of wolverine only accepting morph’s care and affection when they look like someone else, sacrificing their autonomy in order to express their feelings are you fucking kidding me
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lovemybluebully · 4 months
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Loser Logan
X-men '97-verse
Post Episode 4 (Felt like a good place to stick this before the angst of Episode 5)
M/M Tickle fic
SFW (some swearing, but it's mostly fluff)
I can't help but love Logan and Morph's relationship. It's almost as good as the one Logan has with Nightcrawler. ^_^ This dumb little fic of mine just shows their close relationship, and as per my usual naturally has A LOT of tickling in it. This is a tickle fic after all. I can see Morph being quite the tickle monster, especially since he enjoys making Logan laugh. If tickling isn't up your alley then best to scroll on.
I wrote this showing hints that Morph kinda has a thing for Logan with Logan seeming to get that even though he doesn't reciprocate it, but still loving his friend all the same and letting him indulge a little. Nothing super blatant.
NOTE: I did write Morph as a 'he' in this story. I honestly was just getting confused on how to properly use 'they/them'. Morph has predominantly been depicted as male and goes by ''Kevin" so I figured it was okay. If that bothers you though then maybe you want to skip this one.
Holy crap! I did not mean for it to be this long, but I was just having too much fun writing these two interacting together. I kept trying to end it, but just kept writing more and more each time. XD This is easily the longest fic I've ever written.
Word count: 9,911
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Logan winced as the flavor of the extra sweet liquid overwhelmed his sensitive palate once he took a swig from his beer bottle. Making a face of disgust and shaking his head he set it down on the edge of the pool table in the mansion's rec room.
"That's the last time I let ya choose the beer at the market," he muttered, looking over at his friend, Morph, who frowned in offense before transforming into an exact copy of Wolverine.
"ThAt'S tHe LaSt TiMe I lEt Ya ChOoSe ThE-....," he mocked in Logan's voice before returning to his normal form, swaying a little from the alcohol in his system, "Geez, just dump it out then! No one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to drink it."
Logan grunted and rolled his eyes as he reached for his bottle of whiskey to pour himself a shot. Morph could be so overdramatic.
"Look pal, if there's one thing ya oughta know about me it's that I never waste a beer. No matter how bad it may be," he tossed the liquor down his throat.
"That's not entirely true. Remember the other night when I turned into Sabretooth to try to cheer you up? You stabbed the crap out of that six pack I had brought along. You're definitely going to Hell for that one," Morph was quick to point out the incident as Logan recollected and spit out a laugh.
"Oh yeah. An unfortunate casualty in the heat o' the moment. Well with the exception of that time it's not somethin' I do consciously. Not even a crap light beer like this one. An' what's that flavor? Is that....strawberry?" He made another repulsed face as Morph only shrugged this time.
"Ok, you made your point. You pick the next box. But for the record that beer you destroyed the other night, that was your favorite. Thought it would help make you feel better."
"Still did in the end. Even though it sounds like I almost fucked it all up. Hmph, speakin' of that night I never told ya thanks fer all that," a smile quirked at the corner of his mouth as the buzzed Morph threw an arm over his broad shoulders.
"Hey don't mention it. Despite you being a stubborn ass and trying to ignore me there was no way I was going to let you stay in that funk of a mood you were in," his arm tightened around Logan's neck while his free hand gave him a playful head noogie, making Logan growl and shove him away.
"Yeah yeah, I get it. I'm an asshole an' yer a saint." 
"Hey now, you're not just an asshole, you're my asshole........That came out wrong," Morph facepalmed while Logan chuckled quietly, "Oh hey, where's Jubilee at? Surprised she's not down here with us."
"Well she is gettin' older so I doubt she's wantin' to hang around a couple o' guys like us so much anymore. She seems to like that Roberto kid a lot, an' bein' that it's her birthday I imagine she's with him this evening," Logan growled a little as Morph laughed and patted him on the back.
"Easy killer. He seems like a nice kid. Just needs to come to terms with his mutant side, and Jubilee is doing everything to help him out with that. She's blossoming into a smart, beautiful young lady and you should be proud of her."
"Still I'm keepin' an eye on him. An' if he ever does anything to hurt her, I'll make sure he regrets it...slowly," Logan picked up his pool stick and bent over the table to play his next shot, but then chuckled as something came to his mind, "By the way speakin' of regret, real smooth with that jab at Magneto this mornin'."
Morph's face fell as he groaned while the moment from earlier replayed in his head, leaning against the table with beer in hand.
"Ugh, why'd you have to bring that up? That was so embarrassing! I mean, how was I supposed to know?"
"I gotta ask, is it unintentional, or do ya just really like makin' situations as awkward as humanly possible?" Logan was able to get his shot off and sink his ball into the side pocket, but it was immediately followed by a finger poking him in the ribs as he jumped with a half-giggle, "Shit! Quit doin' that!"
The shapeshifter gave a satisfied smirk at his reaction and grabbed a cue stick for his turn at the game.
"You asked for it. But seriously, I felt so bad about what I said. If he already didn't before I'm sure he totally hates my guts now."
"Well I wouldn't sweat it too much. The guy's a prick. Besides I'm pretty sure he ain't in his room cryin' about it right now. He's heard a lot worse than yer tasteless joke so don't flatter yerself," Logan shrugged, rubbing a big hand over his irritated ribs as he begrudgingly finished off his beer.
"I guess so. Still I feel like maybe I should go apologize later. He might appreciate that. What do you think?" Morph was toying with the stick in his hand now as his mind wandered, causing the bigger man to roll his eyes.
"I think ya oughta stop worryin' about it an' take yer damn shot already."
"Sorry, it's the alcohol, I guess. I'm a bit of a lightweight if you haven't noticed," Morph replied, the effects of the alcohol making him a bit unsteady as he squinted and tried to line up his shot, "You know it wouldn't kill you to show a little more compassion once in a while."
"That'll be the day. Besides I think ya do enough o' that fer the both of us, Nancy," Logan grinned and slapped his friend on the upper back right after he had hit the cue ball, sending him face down into the table.
"Excuse me? Did someone say my name?" Morph sounded off with his best Scott Summers voice as he lifted his head to reveal the face of their team's leader, making Logan chuckle dryly.
"Yer a real riot, ya know that?"
"I'm very aware, thank you. And I still scored a point despite you. In fact it looks like I'm winning so far," Morph transformed back to normal and stuck his tongue out at him as Logan surveyed the remaining pool balls left in play.
"Easy to be winnin' when ya cheat. It's a little hard to concentrate when some shit head keeps ticklin' ya," he gave a stern look as Morph just giggled at the thought. 
With Logan's natural hyper senses and Morph's spirited personality and tendency to be physically affectionate it didn't take long for him to discover at some point in their relationship that Logan was unbelievably ticklish from head to toe; something Morph found incredibly hard to resist exploiting at every turn. 
With his adamantium skeleton and healing factor Wolverine was practically impenetrable and his mind was very accustomed to handling the worst pain imaginable so Morph was beyond pleased to find something that could easily crack through his tough outer shell and loosen him up a bit.
It didn't help that Logan always let him get away with it unscathed, but Morph also had the feeling that Logan really didn't mind it too much, despite what he might say.
"It's not my fault the big, bad Wolverine is so adorably sensitive," Morph teased with a pouting face as he gently tugged Logan's sideburn, receiving a half-hearted growl and swat to his hand, "Besides it's the most surefire way to get a smile out of you."
"I don't need ya worryin' about me so much, Morph. It ain't worth yer time," Logan huffed and poured himself another shot of whiskey.
"I think I'm allowed to be the judge of that. You can't shut us all out, you know? No matter how hard you may try. Like it or not, you're stuck with me until the end of time," he smiled broadly as Logan let out a sigh and swallowed the shot.
"I get what yer sayin', but ya have yer own problems that ya need to work out. The things ya went through with Sinister.....shit like that doesn't go away overnight. I know yer always hidin' yer pain behind humor, but sooner or later yer gonna have to deal with it. Take it from me, ya got a long road ahead before ya can even begin to start healin'. So the last thing I want is fer you to be takin' on all my fuckin' issues too," he sulked, leaning against the wall as Morph looked at him thoughtfully.
"You're right about some things, Logan. It is going to take me awhile to get through it all, but I am dealing with it in the best way that I know how. You see, sharing my humor with you all does help heal me. I realize I have a family here; people who actually care about me, and it makes me feel good knowing that I have the ability to make others feel good too. I feel like everyone here brings something to the table, and just having that type of support means the world to me. I can't even imagine what I'd be like if I was out on my own." 
A soft smile came to Morph's face as his mind wandered back. 
"I'll never forget how you did everything in your power to try to get me back on the team, even when you didn't succeed right away. I owe you a lot and believe me I'd never consider you not being worth my time. You have to know you deserve that and more."
"To be honest I don't think I ever deserve anything worthwhile," Logan took it all in and after a few moments of silence he finally nodded, "But ok, I believe ya. Just promise me ya won't take on more than ya can handle. It ain't fair to do that to ya."
"Now it's my turn to tell you not to worry about me so much," Morph grinned and punched him on the shoulder with no effect, "I know I've had my weak moments and even some breakdowns, but I promise you that I'm managing just fine for now. The best medicine I have is being here with you....and the rest of the team. Trust me."
"Yer one o' the few that I do in this whole world, bub. I don't know if that means somethin' to ya, but it does to me."
"It really really does. Truly. I may be drunk, but I promise it's not the beer talking when I say that I love you. Anyways cheer up. This is supposed to be a fun evening, not a pity party," Morph put his arm around Logan's shoulder to give him a firm side hug, feeling his tense muscles relax considerably.
"Sorry. I really am a piece o' work, in case ya haven't noticed. Didn't mean to bring down the mood."
"You're forgiven, but I have to warn you that if you don't smile soon then I may have to do something drastic. I'll have you know that it's always worth my time to hold you down and tickle you until you can't think straight," Morph added, pleased to see it made Logan snort a laugh before he hastily moved away from the other.
"I'm pretty sure that goes against the Geneva Convention, but whatever ya dumbass."
"You know I'm kind of thinking about doing it anyways since you didn't reciprocate my proclamation of love for you," Morph tilted his head and raised a teasing brow as Logan backed further away while shaking his head.
"That ain't necessary. I do love ya, buddy. Yer part o' the family, an' the team's just not the same without ya. Now quit threatenin' me an' just stay away on my next shot here, okay? Hands offa me."
"Alright alright, I won't do anything," Morph made his arms get sucked inside his body, grinning when he saw Logan let out another chuckle, "Oh but first..."
Morph's arm reappeared as he scurried to the nearby radio to turn on the popular music station, the sound of Freak Nasty's "Da Dip" coming out of the speakers.
"Now lets get this party back on track!" Morph declared as he began swaying his hips in place and moving his arms around in flowing patterns, allowing the beat to take over his body.
Logan tried to hold back his amused smirk as he watched.
"Will ya cut that out? Yer ridiculous." 
Morph turned around and made eye contact as he smiled mischievously and started dancing and scooting his way across the room towards his quarry while he sang along to the song.
"I put my hand upon your hip, When I dip, you dip, we dip, You put your hand upon my hip, When you dip, I dip, we dip..."
While belting out the chorus Morph placed his hand on Logan's side as he grabbed at Logan's hand and tried to place it on his own hip with the man struggling to fight him off the whole time.
"Get the hell offa me," Logan laughed at the silliness of his friend as he slapped at his busy hands and pushed back against him, "If ya think yer gonna get me dancin' then yer dead wrong. I haven't had that much to drink. Besides I need to take my turn at the game now."
Morph finally allowed himself to be pushed away as he put on a face of mock pout.
"Aw fine, you old party pooper. I'll let you off this one time, but next time you are gonna be shaking it with yours truly," he snapped his fingers and rocked his hips some more before straightening up and gesturing to the table, "Maybe you can remove that big stick from up your ass long enough to take your shot. Go ahead, I promise I won't touch you."
Logan rolled his eyes and flipped him off as he looked down again at the pool table. 
The only good shot he had was extremely close to the 8 ball so he would have to calculate this just right or he risked knocking it in. He picked up the chalk and rubbed it onto the tip of his cue stick before looking over at Morph, who stood innocently on the other side of the table against the wall, and then bent down to get into playing position.
The prospect of hitting in the 8 ball had him a little nervous, but after a few tense seconds he made his move. The cue ball went hurtling smoothly towards his striped ball before striking it where intended and sending it rolling down the table into the corner pocket.
Logan smirked and was about ready to gloat, but he failed to notice that the cue ball had just knicked the edge of the 8 ball and set it into motion as well. Morph's little gasp and excited pointing of his finger alerted him to it, though all he could do now was just watch and hope for a miracle.
He held his breath as the solid black ball ever so slowly rolled towards the center pocket before teetering on the edge of the lip........and then stopping. Logan released his breath, ready to start bragging again.
"An' that's how it's done," he managed to say just before the 8 ball finished its journey and fell into the pocket with a deafening clacking noise as it landed on the other balls.
It was quiet for a minute before Morph let out a whoop of triumph and punched at the air as he began bouncing around the room.
"I aaaam the chaaampion! I aaaam the chaaampion!" He sang as he obnoxiously danced around his grumpy teammate.
"Bullshit," Logan grumbled and then glared at Morph with accusation, "Ya bumped the table."
"I did not! Don't be a sore loser now. I believe you owe me some money," Morph grinned with a raised brow and held out his hand.
"Alright fine. Even though I'm sure ya knocked that 8 ball in somehow, I'll let ya have this one. What did we say? Ten bucks?"
"Yup, that was the wager," Morph nodded, watching Logan pull out his wallet before opening it with a shake of his head.
"Hmph, I'm a little short on cash right now. I'll have to get ya later."
"Hey no worries, I accept alternate forms of payment," Morph's smile widened while he eyed the bottle of whiskey set out nearby.
"Oh yeah? Think ya've had enough to drink already, pal," Logan smirked as he observed his friend swaying a little on his feet.
"Uh thanks for the advice, dad, but I'll say when I've had enough. I'm starting to lose my buzz here!" Morph made a poor attempt at grabbing the bottle away while Logan just smoothly moved it aside out of his reach.
"Nah, yer done. Yer worse than a teenage girl on prom night. Just as annoyin' too." 
"Ooooh I'm gonna tell Jubilee you said that."
"Well can't blame ya fer that. Ya girls gotta stick together, right?"
"You are just so insufferable, do you know that?" Morph smirked with his hand on his hip, making another grab for the bottle as Logan easily held him back with one hand and grinned.
"Thanks. Comes naturally."
"Aw come on, please? Just let me have one more drink and I'll consider your debt settled."
"I don't think so, bub. Trust me. Fer yer own good." 
Morph had to take pause because Logan's voice had lost its teasing tone and sounded more of genuine worry now. His eyes moved off of the whiskey bottle and looked up to Logan's face to find a look of concern spread over his usually intimidating features.
Despite how Logan normally wanted to portray himself the man certainly could be caught wearing his heart on his sleeves on more than one occasion. Morph felt a little guilt that he was causing his friend to worry about him again, even in such a small way. He certainly didn't want to ruin the mood again.
"Huh. Do you really think I've had too much?"
"Not yet, but I guarantee if ya have anymore you'll regret it. 'Sides it's not a good idea to start drinkin' the hard stuff after ya drank so much beer. Especially when it's like that sweet tastin' shit ya bought," Logan released his hold on him as Morph took a step back and crossed his arms with a joking pout.
"I wish I had your healing factor. Then I wouldn't be such a lightweight."
"It's a gift an' a curse, bub. Really I wouldn't wish it on anyone," Logan cast his eyes down and sighed as he momentarily picked up the whiskey bottle to screw the cap back on securely.
Dammit! He had stirred some gloom back into Logan's current train of thought. All he wanted was to keep the good times going for as long as possible, but he just kept digging the hole deeper every moment he opened his mouth. Time to just give in and admit being wrong.
"Okay okay, you're probably right. No more alcohol for me. I concede," Morph nodded as he bowed out with his hands up in defeat; happy to see Logan brighten up when he did.
"Glad yer comin' to yer senses. Tryin' to save ya from a bad hangover here, idiot."
"Aww my hero!" Morph momentarily sprouted feminine facial features and batted his big eyelashes as Logan sighed and rolled his eyes, "But hang on, you're not getting out of it that easy. You still owe me some kind of payment since I won the game."
"Well I don't have the money so tough shit. An' ya ain't gettin' this alcohol either so what're ya gonna do about it?" Logan smirked as he squared up his beefy shoulders and extended the claws on one fist in an attempt to intimidate his friend into backing down. 
Too bad that whole macho act never worked on Morph, but hearing his smug response definitely gave him some inspiration. He knew exactly just how he could collect some sort of payment and also take Wolverine's ego down a peg.
"Oh I'm not too concerned with either. I'm sure you'll pay me in some way very soon," the shapeshifter dismissed him with a hand before looking past and pointing behind him, "But hey, do you think that maybe Jean would like a drink?"
Logan was surprised because he hadn't detected Jean's scent anywhere near the room, but he still turned his head to look regardless and retracted his claws at the same time. The second he did that Morph plowed right into him like a linebacker and took him to the ground; pool stick clattering to the floor with the both of them.
"MORPH!! What the hell do ya think yer....?!?!"
"Bahaha! I knew you would fall for that! Change of plans, buddy boy! Loser can't pay then loser gets tickled!" Morph crowed with inebriated glee as he scribbled his fingers all over Logan's stomach with lightning speed.
Normally Logan could hold his own for a short while, but the alcohol in his bloodstream and the joking mood he had been in had all of his mental shields disabled, making him feel especially ticklish right now. Not even the thick flannel shirt he was wearing was dulling the sensations and the tickling had him cackling immediately.
"N-No! Daahahahahhahaa-Dohohohon't! Geheheheddoffamehehehehehe, ya stuhuhuhupid ahaahaahasshole!" Logan's left hand reflexively shot out, landing on Morph's face as he used it to try to push the other mutant off of him, but Morph only ducked under his reach and continued his vicious attack.
"Sorry, not happening. You can just keep your alcohol and your lousy ten bucks. Tickling you to death will do just fine," Morph's nimble fingers dug into his wide ribcage, tickling methodically between every rib for maximum effect. With that Logan's raspy laughter deepened as he desperately tried to crawl backwards with one arm while clumsily attempting to fend off his friend with the other.
"Mooooorph stahahahahahop! I wahahahas juhuhust try'na he-help yahahaha!"
"Do I look like I need help? Don't think so! The only one who needs help here is you. Except no one's coming to save you, mwahahahaha!" Morph laughed maniacally while drilling his fast-moving fingers into Logan's sides as the man's arms finally weakened and caved beneath him, collapsing onto his back in a heap of giggles.
Morph observed him fondly as the normally bad-tempered feral spastically twisted and squirmed helplessly while his big arms reflexively wrapped around his upper body in a last-ditch effort to protect himself, even though he knew it wasn't going to help him.
"Aw what's the matter, big guy? Is somebody just a little bit ticklish? Coochie coochie coo!"
"Shuhuhut uhuhuhup! Bwahahahahaah! I swehehehehear I'm gonnahahahahahaha guhuhuhuhuut yaaaa!"
"Yawn. Boring. Heard that one before. You really need to come up with some new material, you know? But if you're serious this time, go ahead and do it. I'll wait," Morph dared with a smirk as he eyed the deadly hands and waited for the claws to emerge. But Logan's hands only flailed around as they tried to guard and block Morph out of gaining access to his sensitive torso; failing quite miserably.
"Yeeeah, I thought as much. I know you'd never hurt me if you could help it. So you just lay there and take it like the big, scary, ticklish man that you are."
Logan cursed that Morph had called his bluff, but what did he expect? The shapeshifting mutant knew him better than pretty much anyone.
"Shihihiiit! C'moohahahahahon! Quit-hahahaha-Quit ticklin' mehehehee!"
"Sure I'll stop.....once you piss yourself," Morph quipped immediately as Logan attempted to growl through his laughter.
"I f-fuhuhuhuckin' hahahahahate yahahaha!"
"Now that's a lie if I ever heard one. Fine, say something nice about me and I'll think about letting you live," Morph proposed while Logan quickly replied without any hesitation.
"Okaahaahaay! Yer goohoohood at b-bein' a dihihihihick!"
"Hmmm, while that may be true that's not exactly a compliment. Try again. Here I'll even give you a moment to breath in good faith," he paused the tickle attack as Logan panted from below him
"....Alright fine....I'll admit, ya are a good lookin' guy. I mean seriously, ya got model potential."
Morph wasn't expecting to hear something like that, and he was immediately put on alert as his face twisted into suspicion of Logan's exact intentions. 
"Oh get out of here, you don't mean that. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm no Sean Connery."
"Sure I do. An' ya know what? If this X-men thing doesn't work out for ya, ya could always take a job workin' as a department store manneQUINAAHAHAHAHaaahahahahhahaha!" Wolverine exploded back into guffaws as Morph jumped on top of him and resumed tickling him even harder.
"Ok, I have to admit that was a good one. But it was also RUDE! You, mister, have just earned yourself a nonstop tickle session!"
"W-Wohohohohorth ihihihihitahahahahahahaahah!"
The banter between them was always constant, but they both understood that it was all in good fun and never took anything to the heart. Not to mention it gave Morph plenty of excuses to really wreck his friend.
"One more chance! Come on, just say one serious thing! You know you appreciate my humor and wit, especially when I'm making fun of the other guys! I'm super good at making you laugh! You've said so yourself!"
Logan was really in over his head with Morph being very familiar with all of his most ticklish spots, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing to tease and provoke the shapeshifting mutant.
"Nohohohot hahahard! Aaahahahahaha! Ye-Yer fahahahaace dohohoes that alohohohone!"
Morph just sighed and shook his head with a pitying smile.
"Keep talking, dummy. It's only gonna make it worse for you. Speaking of worse, lets really get those lungs of your working!" 
From where he sat perched on his legs, Morph used his long reach to bury his furiously fluttering fingers into Logan's very ticklish armpits as the big lug howled in deep, rumbling laughter with his arms futilely clamping down; Morph being able to physically contort and manipulate his fingers to keep them easily working around in the tight crevices.
"Noooohohohohoho! Dahahahammit! Haahahahahahahahahaha! Nohohot thehehehere! Ahahahahalright alrihihihihight! Ju-hahahahhahah-Just st-stohahahahop fer a sehehehehehecond!" 
He was pretty surprised when Morph actually stopped as requested.
"I'm allowing leniency despite my better judgement, so this had better be good. No funny business," Morph crossed his arms with a smirk, looking down from his seat on top of his friend, who took a moment to catch his breath before nodding and taking on a more serious tone.
"Okay....Okay....ya win. Ya know what yer good at, Morph? I ain't lyin' when I say that yer one of the best people I know. Yer good at always showin' up fer the team no matter what the odds. Ya may not be the biggest guy, but ya got the biggest heart. I know I can always count on ya to have my back in a fight. Yer good at makin' things seem brighter when everything else looks grim. Ya have the most positive outlook of anyone I've ever met despite the things ya been put through. An' yeah, yer a pretty funny guy an' ya really do know what to say to make me laugh. On top of all that yer a damn good friend. No one appreciates ya more than me," he finished, seeing the complete look of surprise on Morph's face.
"Logan I....wow, that was.....I wasn't expecting all of that. Did you really mean it?"
"Yeah, of course I did. Ya know me, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I'd go to the ends of the Earth fer ya, buddy," Logan's face was completely serious as he smiled up at him in the most genuine way, making Morph's heart melt.
"I know. You've proved that to me before, and I'll be forever grateful. I can't believe a blob of goo like me was lucky enough to land a friend like you," Morph reached out to put a gentle hand on his shoulder as Logan shook his head.
"No, I'm the lucky one, bub. Also worth mentionin' that yer one of the only people that can even come close to puttin' my mind in a more peaceful place, which ya know ain't easy," he joked, breaking the emotional tension as Morph barked a laugh.
"Hah! That I do know. You really are the most stubborn man I've ever met."
"But ya know what yer good at most of all, Morph? Somethin' yer untouchable at?"
Morph urged him on with his eyes, wondering what other compliments Logan could possibly throw at him, but as he watched his friend's soft smile turn into a smug grin he immediately knew something asshole-ish was about to leave his mouth. So much for that touching moment.
"Always makin' the worst jokes at the wrong times that just make the room so goddamn uncomfortable that ya could cut the tension with a-"
"YOU'RE DEAD!!" Morph declared and transformed into Spiral to give himself six arms as he took ultimate pleasure at seeing his friend's eyes widen in terror before all hands dispatched immediately to mercilessly tickle all over his ribs, stomach and under his arms.
The burly mutant instantly began laughing like crazy, unable to effectively defend against all the assaulting appendages at once and knowing he had completely screwed himself now.
"Mohohohohohohooorph nohohoho! Baahaahahhahahahahahaha! W-Wahaahaahaahaaaait! I tahahahake it bahaahaahaahaahaack!"
Morph temporarily transformed his face into Wolverine's to repeat his recent words.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," he muttered in Logan's growly voice and then just as quickly resumed Spiral's appearance, "That is what you said, isn't it? So sorry to tell you that your request for a take-back is hereby DENIED!"
Morph went in on him hard now with hands even reaching back to tickle around Logan's knees and squeeze at his thighs as the heavily muscled mutant kicked and bucked and used whatever little energy he had left to try to defend himself. They both knew he was done for though.
"You know, you're not that smart. You could've easily used that whole brotherly love distraction to escape, but yet here you are. I should've known, you're really enjoying this, aren't you?"
Morph then giggled with glee as he spotted a new opportunity. In all his thrashing about, Logan's button-down shirt had become untucked from his pants to expose a peek at his hairy, bare stomach.
"Ooooh now what have we here....?" Four of his hands immediately dove underneath the shirt to madly tickle the now vulnerable bare skin of Logan's upper body, causing him to let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched squeal before resuming his chaotic laughter and undecipherable babbling.
Morph couldn't help but laugh at his explosive reaction, still finding it hard to believe that the gruff and tougher than nails Wolverine was so helplessly ticklish; his bulky arms clamping against his body as he futilely tried to stop the hellish movements of the hands inside his shirt.
"So this is how the great Wolverine dies....his big dumb mouth getting himself tickled to death. Hey, that'll look great on your headstone, don't you think? Hehe, c'mon now. Say uncle, ya big lug," Morph smirked as he gazed down at the state of his friend, "You know you're kinda cute when you look like this."
Logan was wheezing for air between harsh laughs as tears leaked out of his eyes, weakly wriggling on the floor and resigning himself to his fate. He desperately scrunched up his shoulders as teasing fingers reached in to scratch all over his thick neck and under his chin before easily finding the sensitive spots behind his ears.
He couldn't even throw out any more of his smart ass replies and joking insults because of how hard he was laughing from the thirty fingers assaulting so many of his weak spots; currently massacring his rock hard abs and muscular obliques.
Big muscles, healing factor, adamantium bones....all completely useless against the tickles.
Morph was always content to keep him laughing for as long as possible, though he left the ball in Logan's court and gave him plenty of opportunities to get himself out of it. Seldom did he ever seem to take it and would blame it on his strong will and stubbornness.
His whole life the man only knew mistreatment and pain of the highest levels, so Morph never wanted to be the reason for Logan to experience anything like that. He made it his mission to only provide him with good touches including hugs, comforting pats and caresses, roughhousing and wrestling matches, and of course playful tickling.
He admitted tickling could be seen as borderline torture, but if Morph had any inclination that Logan really found displeasure in being tickled then he'd never do it to him again. His claws coming out was usually a good indicator when the feral mutant wasn't happy with something.
But no, Logan would goad him on and continue making asshole comments, and even when directly threatened with the consequence he'd refuse to back down until he struck the right nerve in Morph that would end in his own ticklish demise. Then he'd make a show to resist and curse Morph out and eventually beg for it to stop, but Morph could tell he was never entirely serious about it. 
Still there were many times that Morph in fact would stop if he wasn't quite sure, but then some smart-mouthed words from Logan would pull him right back into it. Not that Morph minded this one bit. 
All in all, he was pretty certain that Logan just enjoyed being involved in some harmless physical contact with someone that he fully trusted; someone he knew would never purposely try to hurt him; someone he felt safe with.  That alone was the biggest, unspoken compliment that Logan could ever give him.
Of course Morph would never force Logan to admit any of that though if that's the way Logan preferred it. For now, he would just continue in his quest to drive the Canadian berserker berserk.
"Give up? Are you ready to be nice to your old pal, Morph?" The shapeshifter smirked, finding that poking and probing into Logan's navel could force squealing giggles out of him as his bigger hands frantically tried to push Morph's devilish digits away.
"Quit fighting it. Just let it happen. Hmm let's get these arms out of the way, shall we?"
Morph now used four of his hands to pry Logan's arms away from his body and pin them to the floor while the remaining two dove in for the kill. The fingers began tickling a particularly sensitive area around Logan's hips where the adonis belt dipped into his pants, renewing the man's energy to struggle as he flopped like a fish and howled in hysterics.
"AAAahaahahahahaha! Nohoho fahahahahaaair! Stop stop-Ahahahahahhaahaa!! Pleheeheeheeheease!! No mohohohohohohore!! I caaaahahahahahaha- I caahaan't tahahahahahake ihihihihit!!"
It had reached Morph's favorite part where Wolverine started begging for mercy. It was quite amusing to Morph that the thought to do so would never even cross the tough mutant's mind when under duress and suffering extreme pain through an enemy, but undergoing a ruthless, although good-natured, tickling could always break him in the end.
Morph knew this meant that he was just about tapped out, but that left no reason why he couldn't tease him just a little more. See if Logan managed to work up a second wind.
"I absolutely will if you can answer me this one question........Who's a silly ticklish Wolvie? Huh? C'moooon, you know the answer," he was reaching underneath to tickle the backside of his ribcage while Logan snorted and giggled uncontrollably, arching his back in desperate attempts at reprieve.
Still being the man that he was Logan couldn't resist taking one last stand against his playful tormentor, even though he knew he was going to instantly regret it.
"Fuhuhuhuhuhuck yoohoohoohoooou!!"
Logan was just so adorably predictable.
Morph let his fingers respond to that as they immediately launched into the deepest part of his armpits, sprouting a few extra fingers to leave no spot untickled and causing Logan to scream with laughter as he had no way to guard one of the most ticklish spots on his whole body with his arms restrained like they were.
"OHAHAHahahaahaha!! No no!! Nohohohot thahahahaat!! Bwaahahahahahahahahaa!! Shihihihihiiit!! I'm sahahahahahorry!! St-Staahahahahahhahahaap!! Pleeeeease stahahahahahap!!"
"Stop? Please? You're sorry? What happened to the tough guy a second ago? Hm? What happened to 'fuck you'?" Morph teased him mercilessly as his fingers continued to knead into the pit hollows and squeeze the ticklish muscles on the sides of his pecs, watching a few tears roll down the red face of the hysterically laughing Wolverine.
"Gaaahhahahahhahahahaha!! Pleeheeheeheeease!! Stahahap ticklin'!! Aahahahahahahahaa!! Yer kihihihihihi-killin' meheheheheheehee!! I give up!! I give uhuhuhuhup! "
With that Morph smiled in satisfaction as his fingers finally pulled away and he released his hold on Logan's arms, transforming from Spiral back into his normal form. He'd love to just tickle him all day if Logan would let him, but when the man had had enough, he'd had enough, and Morph respected that.
Logan just laid there with his eyes closed and his head lolled back as he heavily panted for air, though still with a big grin stuck on his face.
"....Fuck......Am I....dead?"
"Nah sorry, you're not getting away from me that easily. But I'm pleased to inform you that your debt is now paid, loser," Morph grinned and reached down to pat his face gently on the cheek as he climbed off of him and sat to the side to watch him start to get his breath back. 
After a few long moments the bigger man slowly regained his energy and hauled the upper half of his hefty body into a sitting position, tugging his shirt back down from where it had bunched up under his chest.
"Shit, that was a helluva debt. Think after that ordeal I'm paid up fer the next several decades."
"Pffft! Yeah, you wish," Morph snorted as he stood up and reached a hand out to help Logan off the floor, letting Logan's hand rest on his shoulder to help steady his legs, "You alright there, buddy?"
"M'fine. Could definitely use a drink though," he smirked and playfully pushed Morph aside as he went straight for the whiskey, not even bothering with a glass as he drank a few gulps right from the bottle and felt his nerves start to relax a little.
"Go on. Drink up, big guy. Gotta get you ready for round two," Morph undeniably teased as Logan almost choked on the alcohol, letting out a cough as he glared over at the other mutant through a side eye.
"Next time I'm just gonna let ya drink whatever ya want an' let ya deal with the damn hangover," Logan grumbled as he lifted a meaty hand to wipe the drying tears off of his cheeks
"Now you're learning. I don't expect you to protect me from everything, you know? Sometimes I just have to face the consequences of my own actions."
"I can't help it, it's an unavoidable instinct. I just....," Logan sighed, "I'd never want anything bad to happen to ya ever again Morph, if I can prevent it. Even somethin' so small. Sorry, I don't mean to meddle so much."
Morph frowned a little that he said something that was making Logan's mood start to dip again.
"No no, you weren't so stop apologizing. I'm very grateful and appreciative that you would go out of your way to look out for me. You're the only one in my life who's ever done that and it's not something I take for granted."
"Yeah, well fer the record I really meant everything I said earlier. Yer my best friend an' ya mean a lot to me. Ya've helped me out in more ways than you'll ever know," his smile returned as he put the bottle down and looked back up at Morph with warm eyes.
"Thanks Logan. And I hope that me getting you to laugh all the time counts for some of that. I know you've got a lot of heavy things on your mind and it makes me feel good to be able to pull you out of that once in a while. Making you laugh always seems to put you in a better mood anyways," Morph smiled back, not expecting Logan to admit to any of that, but surprised when he did.
"Hmph, guess it does. I mean, when ya tickle me like that it completely overwhelms my mind to where I'm just focused on the current situation an' it's honestly hard to think about anything else. Which I guess what yer sayin' is the whole point?"
"Yup, exactly. It just drives all your bad thoughts away for the time being. Just consider me your personal therapist and do not question my remedies," Morph crossed his arms over his chest with a smug look as Logan just shook his head.
"Wasn't. Just wonderin' what goes on in that head o' yers sometimes. I'll admit it does make me feel pretty euphoric after it's all said an' done. My head feels high as a kite right now."
"That's because laughing is good for you! By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have the best laugh ever?" Morph asked with a giddy smile that Logan didn't seem to notice as he snorted and used a hand to dismiss his words.
"Aw cut that out. No need to drive the knife deeper. Besides not many people get me laughin' the way ya do so they wouldn't know."
"Well that's their loss. It's really a good look for you. I love when you smile," Morph threw his arms around him to give him a bear hug as Logan sighed in resignation and softly patted his arm.
"Still gettin' used to it. An' the torture method.....I'm sorry....yer therapy that ya use to get it outta me. Think ya almost broke my healin' factor with that last round," Logan shook his head with a smirk; the nerves below his skin still tingling from the overstimulation.
"Wellllll you did kind of ask for it. I would've stopped a lot sooner if you weren't being such an ass. I don't know if you know this, but you're quite the arrogant bastard. The biggest I've ever met, for the record."
Logan chuckled heartily at his comment.
"Yeah, I'm very aware of that. Not somethin' I can just turn off unfortunately."
"Oh no, please don't ever change. It's always a good excuse for me to tickle you crazy. I haven't heard you beg like that since that one time you thought you were being funny by putting your feet on my lap when we were on the couch watching the hockey game. Kurt was there too, remember?" Morph smiled big time with the memory playing through his mind as Logan squirmed in place at the thought.
"Believe me, I learned my lesson from that one. I'm surprised I'm still alive after what the two o' ya did to me," he shuddered as he remembered the incident.
Unluckily for Logan, Kurt also loved to partake in his ticklish weakness, and he did not hesitate one second to join in on the attack on his good friend as his three-fingered hands and prehensile tail attacked Logan's upper body, using his teleportation to get at him from all angles. 
Meanwhile Morph had decided it would be fun to transform into Nightcrawler as well, giving him the extra tail appendage to tickle between Logan's sensitive toes with the velvety tip while his fingers went to town on his bare soles.
"You have to admit it was pretty funny when Ororo, Jubilee and Rogue all heard your screaming and burst into the room because they thought you were being murdered," Morph giggled as Logan scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Well, that's kinda what I would call it," he growled sheepishly as his toes cringed inside his boots, "Just dealin' with one of ya is more than I can handle. But the both o' ya at the same time? Yeah, that's pretty much attempted murder."
"Shut up, you liked it. So feel free to put those big stompers of yours in my lap any time you want," the shapeshifter gave him a wink as Logan just returned it with a blank face and a raised eyebrow.
"Pass."
"Aww c'mooon, not even for a little massaaaage?" Morph teased as he moved behind the shorter man and rubbed his shoulders before being shrugged off.
"Just fuck off, would ya?"
"Okay okay, no need to get testy. I'm really good at it though, just for the record. I've got plenty of references to back me up," he cracked his fingers and wiggled them up in the air with a cheesy smile.
"I'll keep it in mind," Logan couldn't help the smirk that came over his face as then he looked up at the clock mounted on the wall, "Hmph only 11:20pm, still early. Unless yer ready to call it a night."
"Not yet I'm still feeling pretty awake. I'm more of a night owl these days so I'll be glad to keep you company for a while longer. If you don't mind, that is," Morph added, making Logan glance back over at him questionably.
"Why would I?"
"I don't know. I feel like sometimes I annoy you too much and maybe you'd want some space from me," the shapeshifter answered, feeling a bit insecure as he crossed his arms in front of himself.
"Course yer annoyin'. Yer loud an' ya never stop talkin'. Ya drive me nuts with all yer crazy antics," Logan said matter of factly as Morph felt a tightness in his chest and looked down at the floor in shame until Logan continued with a gentler tone, "But that's on me, not you. Sometimes I just get a lil' bent outta shape too easily so don't take it personal. I'm just a grumpy old prick. If anything, I'd feel like yer the one who would want space away from me."
Morph immediately brightened back up, lifting his head as his frown turned into a soft smile.
"Just know yer great, Morph. Yer always goin' outta yer way to make people happy, even someone like me who doesn't deserve it. You'll never not be welcome to share in my prescence."
"Thanks for telling me that Logan. And for the record no, I'd never need space from you. No matter how much of an insufferable prick you can be."
Logan laughed loudly as he clapped a large hand onto Morph's shoulder and shook him a little.
"Appreciate it, bub. So ya wanna play another game or what?" He asked as he started pulling the pool balls out of the pockets and placing them back onto the table.
"Yeah sure, why not. But we're not going to bet anything this time, right? You obviously don't have any money to put up so unless you want me to tickle the shit out of you again, I'd say you're all out of bargaining chips, buddy," Morph crossed his arms with a holier than thou grin, watching Logan down the remainder of the whiskey.
"Tell ya what bub, if I lose again how 'bout I let ya give me that foot massage?"
Morph smirked at him, leaning against the pool table on one hand.
"Oh is that so? And what makes you think that's what I'd want as my prize?"
Logan just shrugged his shoulders as if he was unbothered by that and began setting up the pool balls.
"Alright suit yerself. Just forget it then."
"Now hold on, hold on. It was just a question. Hmmm but okay, it's a deal. No take backs. This is now a legally binding verbal contract," Morph momentarily transformed into a court judge and banged a gavel onto the table.
Logan chuckled as he finished getting all the balls into the triangular rack.
"Yer a crazy guy, Morph. If I win though yer buyin' me a new bottle....No....two more bottles o' booze," he declared and dangled the now empty whiskey jug in the air.
"Deal, but I don't plan on losing. But hey, it should be a win for you too. I bet with your heightened senses a massage feels extra good."
"I guess so, but I've never known it any other way so ya got yer work cut out fer ya. Let me at least get washed up first though, alright? I showered a lil' over an hour ago, but these boots have seen some miles," he looked down at his feet and rocked back on the heels.
"If you insist. But if you need any help in the shower, I'm always available. You know, if you're having any trouble getting those hard-to-reach areas...," Morph winked and nudged him suggestively, making Logan snort a laugh.
"Thanks, but I think I can manage. Oh an' hey, no cheatin' in this game this time around, okay? That means no bumpin' the table-"
"I told you I didn't bump the table!"
"Whatever. An' if ya tickle me even one time ya automatically forfeit the win. Got it?"
"Okay okay fine. Scout's honor," Morph held up his hand while sneaking his other hand over to give a quick dig into Logan's ribs as the man jumped with a yelp and then glared back at him.
"Dammit! What did I just-?!?!"
"Hehehe, that doesn't count. We didn't start the game yet," Morph snickered as Logan sighed and facepalmed before picking up his pool stick that was still on the floor from his earlier tussle with the shapeshifter.
"Ya know Morph, if I didn't love ya so much I'd kill ya."
"Awwww that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. You know option number two is that you could also just forfeit now and allow me to collect on my winnings," Morph teased as he draped arms over Logan's shoulder and squeezed his bicep, making Logan shake his head and squirm out of his embrace.
"Nice try bub, but Wolverine forfeits to no one. Now stand back. Maybe you'll learn somethin'," Logan leaned over the table, getting his stick into position as he got ready to break. 
He smirked knowing he was going to sandbag it and allow Morph to win again. Like he did earlier when he himself had unnoticeably bumped the table so the 8 ball fell in. Let Morph win just like he always did.
Just as Morph always wanted to keep him happy, he also wanted the same for his friend and more. To let him know that he always had someone rooting for him in his corner and actually gave a damn about his well-being. He'd do whatever it takes to keep his spirits high, even if it came at his own expense.
He knew Morph would be true to his word and give him an amazing massage, which was hard to come by these days, and Logan would relish in every bit of it. Even when it inevitably turned into tickling because he knew Morph wouldn't be able to resist himself with the knowledge that Logan's feet were easily his most ticklish spot.
Logan would of course play his part fully, protesting profusely and laughing his ass off all to Morph's delight while doing his best to not accidentally kick his teeth in with a flailing foot. Though he shivered a little knowing that Morph was more than capable of restraining him and then he'd just have to take it. Though in a weird way he found that he wasn't exactly bothered by the thought of that.
Thinking about it took him out of his game and unable to fully focus as he jabbed the cue ball to break, and while the balls all scattered over the table not one of them went into a pocket. He forced a grumpy face for show as he looked over at his grinning friend.
"Looks like it's going to be an early night. You know you can just skip the shower. I don't mind your musk."
Logan couldn't deny that a massage sounded better sooner than later.
"Well if ya really don't mind....," Logan gave the table a firm bump with his hip, making all the pool balls including the 8 ball fall into the pockets as he shrugged his shoulders while Morph looked at him with a knowing smile, "Damn. Guess I lose again."
"Nah, like I said you're still winning. Tell you what, I'll still even buy you another couple bottles of whiskey after this," Morph promised as he walked to the other side of the room and sat on the end of the large couch placed against the wall, "Here should be good. Whenever you're ready."
Logan was a little hesitant walking over as Morph made a big display of stretching and cracking his fingers before patting his lap. He sat down on the couch and then turned his body sideways, lifting his legs to drop his heavy boots onto Morph's thighs as the other mutant teasingly ran a hand over the top of them.
"Hm. Big feet, huh? You know what they say about that," Morph laughed at his implication, making Logan's mouth twitch into a smirk.
"Nah, what do they say Kevin?" He asked in a teasing tone, making Morph pause with a blush tinting at his cheeks as he was caught off guard by Logan's response and the use of his chosen name.
"W-Well you know.....big feet big.....boots. What were you thinking?! Jeez, get your mind out of the gutter, your pervert!"
Logan chuckled at how easily flustered Morph was as he leaned back on the couch armrest.
"Takes one to know one, bub. Now get rubbin'."
"See comments like that are what get you in trouble. I'll make sure you pay for it later," Morph warned with a devious smile and then got to work, beginning the process of carefully pulling off his boots.
Logan just watched it happening in slow motion, wondering exactly how he let himself get talked into this. Actually, he did know how. And he found himself looking forward to the attention.
"Easy now. Be nice," Wolverine growled a little, the realization of knowing what he was getting into really setting in now.
"Aren't I always?" Morph smirked as he dropped each boot on the floor as they came off and then in a couple swift movements had tugged off Logan's socks as well
"So delusional," Logan shook his head as his now bare toes wiggled a little from the exposure, "At least try not to tickle."
"That's not the current plan and I promise I won't be trying to, but if it does happen then I'm sorry, but it's your fault for being so ticklish," he reached down and firmly squeezed both of Logan's wide, meaty soles as the older mutant rolled his head back and groaned from the touch, making Morph grin, "Looks like you might be okay though."
He began further testing as his fingers pressed in hard and slid down Logan's soft arches to begin kneading into his plump heels while Logan struggled to keep the sounds of pleasure from leaving his lips.
"Fuuuuck.....Damn Morph.....Ya weren't lyin'.....That feels.....fantastic...," he squirmed and moaned with his eyes closed; his reactions causing Morph to beam with pride.
"Like that, eh? I told you I was good," he began rubbing circles from his heels back up into the balls of his feet, finding the skin to be surprisingly supple, "Now answer me this, how does a guy like you have such soft feet?"
Logan just threw his hands up in a shrug as his mind became focused on the sensations though he ended up rumbling in disappointment when Morph's hands pulled away for the moment.
"Easy big boy, I promise there's more where that came from. And if you really enjoy this then perhaps later I could interest you in a full body session," Morph offered with a hopeful smirk and a raised brow as Logan was quick to give a nod.
"Might actually take ya up on that. I haven't had a good massage in.....shit, I can't even remember."
"Well that's about to change right now. So without further ado let's get started off on the right foot here," Morph put his hand on the top of Logan's right foot and laughed at his own pun as Logan made a point to roll his eyes harder than usual.
"Geez, tough crowd. Come on, that was funny," he grinned slyly as his fingers now drifted around to give the sole of his foot a quick tickle.
"AHAH!" Logan barked out a laugh and jerked his foot away before delivering a warning glare and reluctantly placing his foot back onto Morph's lap, "Fucker."
"Hey I had to get at least one in. Now I'm going to keep it professional. If I accidentally do tickle you then just tell me and make sure to keep still. Though I'm going to warn you right now, if you kick me at any point then the massage is over and it's game on. So please give me a reason," Morph teased as he rubbed his hands together and prepared to really get serious.
Logan quietly considered the threat, and while he was looking forward to the massage, he also couldn't resist his urge to live life dangerously. And hell, maybe he was also a bit of a masochist sometimes.
While Morph was prepping, Logan pulled his foot back a little and aimed it right at Morph's stomach before thrusting it forward.
Morph got the wind knocked out of him ever so slightly as he coughed and grabbed the offending foot to push it back. He then squinted evilly back at Logan who had a shit-eating grin on his face while he sat there with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Whoops. Must've slipped."
Morph sighed, thinking he probably deserved it for sneaking in that tickle, and released his hold on his foot.
"Fine. You get one freebie. But do it again and I promise you you're going to be wishing so hard that you could take it back once you see how bad you're going to get it because I'm not stopping until the sun comes up and by the looks of that clock on the wall it's going to be several hours before that comes even close to-UGGH!" Morph grunted as the foot collided with his stomach again.
"Quit babblin' an' just do it, pussy," Logan smirked, the words no sooner leaving his lips before tendrils shot out of Morph's body and tightly wrapped around his ankles to keep him from ever having any chance at pulling his feet away until Morph decided he was allowed to.
And Logan wouldn't have it any other way.
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radramblog · 3 years
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rng’d edh deck ideas
After quickly peeking out from my bunker, it appears that we are for once free of discourse for the time being in the Magic community. At the very least, from what I can tell. The most interesting things on the subreddit right now are people comparing Arena’s VOW Mastery tree to anal beads, and the fact that Zilortha, Strength Incarnate has actual art now (on Arena only) outside of the Godzilla-ified version. It looks pretty neat.
With not much better in the way of ideas for Magic Things to talk about, aside from that one idea which I’m going to do next week, I thought I’d do this little theorycrafting experiment again. Randomly generate a few commanders, think a little bit about how I’d build them. I did this once before, RNG’d 4 commanders, and ended up building one of them for real (that’s how I ended up with a Basandra deck) as well as proxying two of the others (Seizan and Dragonlord Atarka). Didn’t, uh, didn’t end up building the Gideon Tribal deck, IRL. That one was really bad. Of course, when I did that, I actually fully designed all 4 decks, but I don’t really have time to do that today…so I’ll throw in a fifth one, just for you.
Anyway. This shit is fun to me, and hopefully, it’ll be fun for other people.
Random Commander #1: Kadena, Slinking Sorcerer
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Well. This is awkward. My intent was to come up with new and interesting deck ideas, but Kadena is a card very much built around One Thing in particular. It’s the face commander for the Commander 2019 Morphs deck, and it basically doesn’t give a shit about anything that isn’t face-down.
I have gotten to tinker with this commander a bit in the past. A group of friends did a brief precon league, where a few cards were added and removed every week, and I borrowed someone’s copy of this deck for that. Turns out, you just add more morphs. And Flash effects. It also turns out they haven’t printed any new Morph or Manifest cards since this deck was printed (not even in Modern Horizons 2!), so aside from general good stuff, Kadena hasn’t had much else to play with.
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If I were to try and build around this card, I suppose I’d try to put some fun value engines in in the form of casting one morph repeatedly- cost reduction effects and cards like Temur Sabretooth have a solid chance of keeping the good times flowing. There probably is some form of actual loop you can pull- you have access to Carnival of Souls, and Rattleclaw Mystic does generate mana if you can reduce enough costs- but that sounds like a lot of moving parts.
 Random Commander #2: Brudiclad, Telchor Engineer
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Another precon card, though one I’ve actually considered building myself. To the point where I think I picked up a copy at some point. Brudiclad is mercifully more open-ended than Kadena- they care about tokens, so you need to make those, but nobody said exactly what those tokens should be.
Something I always wanted to do with Trostani when I played her was to Populate things that had no right being multiplied. There weren’t many effects that could make token copies of things in GW, especially at the time (I think it might just have been Blade of Selves/Mimic Vat), but I did get to play around with things like Herald of the Host (Myriad gets real good in multiples). Brudiclad, though, is Blue, so they get all the card clone effects you could possibly want.
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Therefore, that is how I think I’d build the deck. Token copies of things that are rude in multiples, made copies via clone spells, and mass-produced via Brudiclad. There’s probably enough of a deck in that that you aren’t entirely reliant on Brudiclad- it turns out you don’t need that many Sharding Sphinxes or Hellriders to kill the board dead, and having lots of some form of Rabblemaster just seems like a fun time in general. Weak to boardwipes, but you’re in blue, so you can just hold up countermagic if you really need.
 Random Commander #3: Dragonlord Ojutai
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Of course the RNG would give me another Dragonlord. Oh Ojutai, how the mighty have fallen. I remember when you were the terror of Standard, and now you’re a 3 dollar mythic that’s propped up by…I dunno, Ur-Dragon decks?
Ojutai is very much not built for Elder Dragon Highlander despite being an Elder Dragon, but that probably shouldn’t stop him. With that said, he has potential- just have a way to untap him or give him Vigilance and you have a nigh-untouchable killing and card-drawing machine…that takes 5 turns to win with Commander damage. Hm.
Decks that feature Ojutai in the helm slot seem to largely be one of the Flying, Control, or Voltron styles, and as a result his EDHREC page is kind of a mess. However, as it turns out, there are a lot more cards these days that did what Ojutai does, and rather than having them overshadow him…why not just make that the theme?
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I guess… kind of meld all three of these themes together? Big flying creatures that protect themselves and draw cards, so you can slowly, steadily kill everyone while having an easier time protecting your plan since half of the creatures do it for you. There’s Iymrith, Dream Trawler, Shimmer Dargon, hell maybe good old Prognostic Sphinx..there aren’t that many of these, but I do like this kind of idea. Hard to kill and hard to block means hard to lose, right?
 Random Commander #4: Josu Vess, Lich Knight
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Now here’s some jank. Josu Vess may have been brutal in limited, but in Commander, efficient stats don’t make the game. It would appear that the majority of Josu Vess decks in EDH are Zombies (or Zombie Tokens), which makes sense, but I don’t think these people are being brave enough for my liking.
My main memory of Josu Vess is one of the Dominaria drafts I did on Arena, where I had a fuckbusted deck with him, Muldrotha, and a pile of other rares. At some point I kicked Josu for 20 menacing power twice in one game, and that’s just such an incredible feeling. Armies in a can aren’t usually Black’s thing, but I’m sure it can be made to work.
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There is of course a few caveats to this. For one, you need to kick Josu to get that bonus, which means any plan based on cheating him into play isn’t going to work. You need to return him to your hand fairly, which is hard in Mono-Black, and get a shitload of mana, which isn’t actually as hard in Mono-Black as you’d think. I do think there are enough self-bounce effects to just make this work- Cloudstone Curio, Sanctum of Eternity, Erratic Portal, Demonic Vigor, Blood Clock, Skull Collector, Umbilicus…a lot of these cards are real bad, but the point is you can do this dumb idea if you want to. Then you just need mana- Black can do that, you’ve got Coffers, you’ve got Black Market, you’ve got doublers.
So what armies are in your can? I mean, you’ve got Josu, but you probably want a few others. I like Abhorrent Overlord for this kinda thing, as well as the classic Grave Titan and Myr Battlesphere. On a smaller scale we have things like Underworld Hermit and Chittering Witch, as well as Skeletal Vampire. As a whole, this seems like a whole lot of work for not a lot of payoff, and it is, but you didn’t come here for actual good ideas, I hope.
…maybe just recast Emrakul a bunch of times, I dunno.
 Random Commander #5: Chulane, Teller of Tales
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No. Fuck this card. Not because it’s OP, but because it’s OP and boring. I’m allowed one mulligan.
Random Commander #5: Armix, Filligree Thrasher
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Well, sure, but I’m not building it alone. I guess I’m randomising another Partner?
Random Commander #5.5: Ghost of Ramirez DePietro
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Look, I’ll take just having two cards with actual synergy, that could have gone real badly. These two have a few decks under their collective belt, though they’re still the least played deck of anything on this post so far.
So, we have Artifacts, and we have Discard. We can attack with Armix to kill something assuming we have enough Artifacts, and we can get the card we discarded back if we can connect with Ramirez. We really want both of these guys on the field, but fortunately they’re both only 3 mana at base. Beyond that, though, there’s not a huge line to draw on- like, you need to get them through and you want artifacts, so throw some equipment in, might as well make that your wincon since you’re doing it anyway?
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I do like the idea of some sort of “powerful nothing” engine with this. There are effects that care about things leaving graveyards- Desecrated Tomb, Tormod, Syr Konrad- though most of them care specifically about creatures. There are obviously cards that want you to discard as well, so we can get them in too. This feels like a pair I’d want to spend a lot more time on figuring out- it’s a really complex kind of build, I think! But also, I’m not sure all the pieces are quite in place yet to make this work.
 anyway that was a fun thought experiment its my bedtime now gnight have fun do this yourself its fun also
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