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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years

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rengoku kyojuro x gn!reader

a/n: despite the fact that this is comfort for one of my biggest fears, the hardest part was finding a character to write bc i’m,,,,,, obsessing over several- ANYWAY i wanted to rip my heart out ig </3

warnings: MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS!!! Character death as well!!

word count: 2,144

Love… was complicated. Overly so. Would you ever find love?

That thought- that lingering fear- overwhelmed you more than you’d like to admit. What if, should you fall in love, the person does not feel the same? What if the relationship fell apart? What if, after years of pretending it’s alright- after loving them for so long, they fall out of love? What if you’re left there, broken hearted, with nowhere to go? What if you never fell in love again? What if the commitment overwhelmed you, and you chickened out of a relationship that could have grown to be beautiful?

What if… you never fell in love?

It was terrifying to you. Being alone forever. Never kissing anyone- never having someone to hold, hold more lovingly, overall differently, from the way a friend would hug you. Still, falling in love was scary. Absolutely terrifying for those established reasons.

Love was scary. Cripplingly so.

Yet… you fell in love.

You fell so hard. So hard for someone you weren’t sure you would expect- someone who, quite literally, was like the sun. Bright, warm, friendly. A hero. Your hero, and so many others’. He was loud, strong, tall, and genuinely, purely, beautiful. The most wonderful man you’d ever met. Someone who made you forget about your fears after a bit- the only thing you could afford to think about was him after all- there was no room for anxiety or tears.

“I understand, (Y/N),” He had told you- it felt like forever ago, though it was only a few years.

“Love is terrifying! But, isn’t that what makes it so fun? It makes your heart beat as hard as it does in a battle- except I’m not head-to-head against a monster! It’s just me and the person that I care for very deeply!! That person is you! And if I miss the chance to love you now, who knows when it’ll come again!! Live selfishly! Boldly! Do everything with a burning passion- and that includes love!!!”

The words he spoke weren’t incredibly moving. They were words you told yourself. But, hearing them from someone who made you face that deep fear- it made you feel… capable. As if, with him, you could do anything… maybe you would live selfishly. Consider the future, but not that heavily. Surely, it would hold great things.

The future had held great things. From that moment- the moment Rengoku looked you in your eyes, and you held eye contact longer than you had before. Your face burned, your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, and your stomach was twisted in knots. You felt as though you could cry. It was… exciting. It was fun. To feel so scared- to have every nerve in your body completely on edge- yet there was no life-threatening danger. In fact, in front of you was a man you trusted wholeheartedly. He’d protect you. He’d… wait for you.

He did wait. He waited for you to decide. He let you lead a lot of the relationship, until he was confident that you were completely comfortable.

Everything about him made you feel safe. He was practically perfect. Even when working hard- pushing himself past his limit, then a little further- protecting innocent lives, while risking his own innocent life- he made time for you.

You sniffled, looking up quickly once you felt a large hand rest on your head. You were resting your head on the edge of the bed where your injured boyfriend was lying. It was a dangerous fight- as if not all of them were. He was beaten up pretty badly- bandages littered his body, and the arm not on your head was resting in a sling.

“What’s the matter!”

You squinted, nearly reaching to hit him, but stopping yourself. At that, he laughed, not intending any harm. In his eyes, it was just a little beating. The Demon Slayer Corps had still one that fight- it was one less demon to terrorize humans- it was a victory. So what if he got a few scratches? Surely, he was bound to recover quickly!!

“You’re… hurt, Kyojuro.”

“So it appears!! However, I’m alive and well!! I’ll heal quickly, I promise you!”

You shook your head, removing his hand from your head, and holding it carefully. “That’s not my concern. I mean- I do want you to heal quickly, but- but… I know I can’t convince you to quit. I wouldn’t want to do that. This is your passion… I just worry about you… aren’t Upper Moons as strong as 3 Hashira? That’s- that’s three of you. What if you encountered one of them alone-?”

“They wouldn’t send me to fight an Upper Moon alone, hahaha! And, if I encounter one, I’ll just have to fight 3 times as hard!! I won’t die so easily!!��

His words were reassuring, and you knew he’d fight as hard as he could, but… all his bold, joyful words couldn’t stop every fear you had. You loved him too much to let a fear like that slip. Still, you tightened your grip on his hand, nodding and offering him a smile. In times like these, he continued to grin. You could do the same.

Rengoku was kind. He was kind to you- kind to his brother, his father, and everyone. You were kind as well, or as kind as you could be. It still felt hard to match his pure kindness though- if you had to list favorite things about him, that would certainly be at the top. The way he treated others. The way he smiled, the way he listened patiently, and offered his kindest words all the time.

“I’m so sorry!” Senjuro apologized, dropping the wooden sword, and bringing his hands to his mouth worriedly. Though you had been watching a bit to the side, you stepped forward, wincing at the bruise already forming on the side of Kyojuro’s face.

“That was impressive!!!” Kyojuro shouted, practically sparkling. “Your arm is certainly getting better! That was an amazing hit! I’m proud!!”

At that, you laughed lightly, as Senjuro sighed, bringing his hands down a bit. “I’ll go get ice!” Senjuro added quickly, standing straight, then running towards the house. You sat next to Kyojuro, glancing at the bruise, then at his happy expression.

“Did that hurt?”

“Yes! Isn’t that wonderful?!”

You laughed again, leaning your head against his shoulder, then sitting back up. “I understand where you’re coming from, I just… ahh, I would have been upset if that was my sibling.”

“No way!! A bruise is forming!! If that was a real sword, he surely would have cut me nicely! That’s incredible! Should he choose the same path I have, he’ll make an amazing slayer!!”

Senjuro ran back out, offering his brother ice covered lightly in a cloth. Kyojuro thanked him loudly, placing the ice to his face, then standing back up.

“Now! Are you ready to continue?!!”

You loved him… as days like those passed, you grew to gladly accept it. You wanted to tell him. You wanted to tell others. It was overwhelming, in the best way possible now. It… made your heart feel warm. It made you so happy. You weren’t as scared. You were happy that you were in love- and even happier that you were at a point where you could embrace it…

You stood next to him, outside of your house, the stars twinkling brightly above the both of you. You knew, as did he, that it was nearly time for Kyojuro to head home. You wanted to make excuses though- there had to be a reason to make him stay. He wanted an excuse too- but, you settled for standing outside, the stars your excuse.

“Father and Senjuro are probably sound asleep!” He said, placing a hand on your back. You nodded, glancing over at him, and finding that he was already looking at you.

“There are probably demons and animals out…” You added, looking back up at the stars.

“I don’t live far, of course! Plus, I can fend for myself!”

“I don’t doubt that you can.”

Silence ensued. Neither of you moved.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Kyojuro said, as he had several times before. Those times, you’d smile, offering a thank you- but now, you knew you loved him too. In such a casual moment like this, your love for him made your chest feel full.

“I love you too, Kyojuro,” You responded. Your words were a bit louder than usual- you wanted to make sure he heard you. To make sure he knew you were proud of your love.

His usual smile grew to a grin, and an uncharacteristic blush grew on his face. It was barely visible, especially in the moonlight, but you were glad you weren’t the only one.

His hand on your back moved to your shoulder, and he pulled you over gently into a side-hug. You grinned this time, wrapping an arm around his side as well. He was warm. He was so very alive. Yet… that live- that warmth, that grin- you weren’t aware how limited it was.

…

“Be safe, Kyojuro,” You said, hugging him tightly. Something felt off. You tried to convince him to hold back, but he was determined. You knew good and well he’d die protecting others. He’d be happy to. He wasn’t suicidal- he didn’t want to die- but he would. You knew he would.

Kyojuro hugged back, his smile never faltering as his strong arms squeezed you lightly.

“It’s just a train ride! I’ll be back, so don’t worry!!”

He lied.

Kyojuro released the hug, just to hug his brother, who wore a similarly worried expression as you did. Neither of you had heard of fighting on a train. All the passengers- such a limited space. Was it especially dangerous? No, it had to be the same as any other fight, right-? Then, why were you both so worried…

As Kyojuro departed, you placed a hand on Senjuro’s shoulder. The youngest Rengoku glanced up at you, offering an empty smile- it was similar to his brothers, only missing the honesty.

Now, you sat, crumpled to the floor, your heart aching worse than you had ever expected. It hurt. It hurt so badly. You never knew pain this bad.

Your fears were a reality. Falling in love- falling so deeply in love- then losing it. Losing it in the worst way possible. In all of your agony, you could have promised you saw even the crow that delivered the news crying. He hadn’t changed only your life… he touched so many others’. Each of the Hashira. His brother. His father. The slayers. Complete strangers.

Kyojuro’s bright smile would forever be imprinted in your mind, even as you sobbed, practically cursing whatever entity let something like this befall. Cursing whichever demon that did something like that to such an amazing man.

Tears streamed down your face, no words being able to express how badly you hurt, as you picked up a letter from Senjuro.

“Tanjiro told me that he was smiling.”

Tears already fell upon the paper, belonging to Senjuro. Now yours coated it as well, as you felt another pang in your heart. Despite that, and despite the sobs that still wracked your body, you smiled lightly. “Of course you were, you idiot…”

You knew he wasn’t an idiot. And you knew his smile was genuine. He was happy to die protecting others. He won the battle he went to win- you were sure he injured the monster that attacked him. No- that demon didn’t deserve to be called something as lighthearted and overused as a monster- there were no words to describe such a disgusting coward such as him. But now Kyojuro is with his mom… his hearing is returned. His injuries are nonexistent. He’s smiling in whatever afterlife there is. He’s rejoicing with all the other Rengokus. All of his friends he lost along the way. He’s celebrating, and cheering for all of the slayers that are still battling on. He’s encouraging everyone. Praying for the battles that are to come- no matter how big and small. Praying for those pained by his loss- encouraging everyone to move on. To keep their heads up. To keep smiling, just as he did.

“Thank you, Kyo… I love you so much,” You whispered, hugging the letter to your chest.

Even if he wasn’t present physically, you were still sure you could hear him. “I love you too, (Y/N).” Yes, definitely… you heard him. And, with his life forever engrained with yours, you’d live proudly, selfishly, for his sake. You’d live, holding your head high, and smiling no matter the obstacles you’d face.

But, for now, it was okay to cry. Kyojuro would allow that. You knew for sure.

#oneshot #angst #x reader #x gn!reader #gn!reader #kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kyojuro rengoku #rengoku #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kyojuro rengoku x reader #rengoku x reader #kyojuro x reader

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leossmoonn · 3 years

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No Weakness [Spencer Reid]

masterlist

pairing - spencer reid x gn!reader

type - fluff, lil angst

request / note - “where the reader is new to BAU and they see dead body first time, and it kinda bothers them. and spencer noticed it, even when the reader tries they best no show it (bc they’re scared it makes the look like they’re weak) so when they’re just two of them spencer tries to make them feel better and tells them its okay and it does not make them weak.” this was so fun to write, ahhh! thank you @avrilstaro for requesting <3 *not edited lol oops*

summary - you’re embarrassed after freaking out from seeing a dead body, but spencer assures you that it’s okay

warnings / includes - descriptions of mutilated body, small description of case (child kidnapper case for this fic), crying, anxiety, nausea, little fighting, food mention. you and spencer are dating in this

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*gif isn’t mine*

“I can’t believe I didn’t get to sleep in,” you mumbled, throwing your purse down on your desk rather roughly.

“Not like you would’ve anyways. Ariel was meowing for you five minutes before we got called in,” Spencer stated.

“So? I would’ve fallen back asleep after,” you shrugged. “You would’ve stayed up all morning playing with her, babe,” Spencer chuckled.

You rolled your eyes. “You don’t know that.”

“I do! You’ve done it every morning since we got her,” Spencer argued.

You scoffed, shaking your head at your boyfriend. You trudged over to the coffee machine, getting out a mug the size of a bowl and filling it to the brim. It was already your third cup of the day, and while it was probably unhealthy drinking that much coffee, you needed it. It was your first week on the job and you still weren’t used to waking up at five in the morning for a surprise case. This was your second case, though, so you weren’t very surprised that you were still tired. You knew you would get used to it as time went on, but you wished that your body and mind would adapt faster.

“You’re coming on the field today.” Emily nudged your arm with a file.

Your eyes widened and you sputtered out coffee, coughing to try and clear your throat. Emily chuckled, patting your back gently to help you. You set your coffee down, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand once you got control of your breathing.

“W-What?” You asked, the words Emily said not processing in your brain.

“I said you’re coming onto the field today,” she repeated.

“B-But…” your trailed off, trying to find a reasonable explanation. “I-I wasn't supposed to be on the field for another week. I’m still technically in training.”

“Well, part of the training is going on the field. You’re an amazing agent in the office, L/n, but you'd be even better on the field. You’re able to sympathise with the unsubs and solve the puzzles faster than most of us can, sometimes faster than your boyfriend. You’ll help us a lot better out there than in here.”

You chuckled nervously, heat crawling up the back of your neck. “Thanks, Emily, but I’m not ready.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “That’s what all the new agents say. You need to just get out there, and there’s no better time to do that then early in the game.”

“I guess,” you muttered, lifting your coffee cup and taking a sip.

“You’ll be fine, Y/n. I have no doubts,” Emily smiled.

“Thanks.” You have her a small smile. “No problem. And hey, don’t tell Spencer I said you’re better at the job than him,” she winked.

You laughed and nodded, “I won’t, I promise.”

She walked away, leaving you to lean against the counter and to drink the rest of your coffee before going to the briefing room.

“So, I heard that Newbie is finally coming along with us today!” Luke exclaimed.

“Newbie is your nickname, Newbie,” Penelope narrowed her eyes at Luke. Luke rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. Anyways, you excited?”

You sat down in one of the chairs between to Luke and Matt. “Not really, if I”m being honest.”

“Oh, why? You’ll be great!” Matt smiled. “So everyone says,” you sighed.

“Hey, I heard you’re coming with us today. Can’t wait to have you on the field.” Spencer smiled as he walked past you.

“Yeah, I’m excited to outsmart you, too,” you smirked.

“Oh, Reid, looks like you have some competition!” Luke teased.

Spencer shook his head and looked at you through his lashes. You gave him a challenging look, leaning on the table.

“May the best agent win, Reid,” you dared.

“Alright,” he shrugged. “Better have no weaknesses, L/n.”

“Oh, I have none,” you smirked. Spencer replied to you with a hum, giving you an excited smile before paying attention to the case.

Penelope and Emily delivered the case to you six, then leaving you all to pack up your things as you were going on the jet. You got out the small duffle bag of clothes you had in your car for traveling on cases, also grabbing your phone charger and the case files. You walked up onto the jet, placing your bags up over the overhead storage area. You got seated across from Tara and next to Spencer.

You all talked about your plans to catch the unsub and where you all were assigned to. Tara, you, and Spencer were going to go to the crime scene to scope out the area. Emily and JJ would stay at the police station and work there, while Matt and Luke did witness and suspect interviews.

You were sitting back in your chair, looking out the window and admiring the sky as the jet flew through the clouds. You still had an hour before you landed. Everyone was either sleeping or listening to music. You had thought about going back to sleep, but it seems as though the three cups of coffee you had finally kicked in.

You regretted drinking so much coffee because now, your heart was racing and your hands were shaking. You weren’t sure if it was totally because of the caffeine or that you were nervous about being on the field for the first time, but you assumed it was a little bit of both.

Spencer, who was seated next to you, noticed your jitteriness. He closed his book softly, setting it down on the floor next to his seat, turning to you and taking your hands in his.

Your head snapped to him quickly, your eyes landing on his. He gave you a soft smile, beginning to rub his thumb over your knuckles.

“You’ll do great out there, alright?” He assured.

You sighed, turning away from the window and to him. “What if the lead I find doesn’t work? What if I can’t figure out where the unsub has the kids? O-Or what if I embarrass myself in front of the police chief?”

Spencer chuckled softly at your concerns, making you frown.

“Don’t laugh! Hey, I bet you had all these concerns when you first joined.”

“I did,” he admitted. “But, I learned that I worked with a team. It’s not just me doing the work, just like it’s not just you. You have seven people working with you on this. Try and relax, baby, alright? You do amazing work at the office. This won’t be any different.”

You scoffed, “Please. It’s like, a million times different.”

“Just try and relax,” he instructed, putting your hand up to his lips.

You smiled widely, your heart fluttering as he kissed your hand.

“Plus, even if it was just you working the case, I have no doubt you would figure it out quickly.”

“Thanks, babe,” you smiled and leaned your head against the headrest.

“Of course. I love you,” he said, leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

“Oh, gross. You guys know I just became newly single,” Tara scoffed.

You laughed and turned to her. “That was like, nine months ago.”

Tara raised her brows, looking at Matt and Spencer, and back at you. “You weren’t even here back then. How do you know this?”

“I just know things,” you winked. “Yeah, well I’m betting someone blabbed,” Tara grumbled.

“We would never,” Matt disagreed. “Mhm,” Tara hummed, going back onto her phone.

You smiled at you teammates and looked back at Spencer and putting your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes for a few moments, opening your eyes again. You blinked rapidly, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You rolled your head around, your eyes settling onto Spencer who was back to reading his book. You turned your head back to the window, furrowing your brows as you noticed you weren’t up in the sky anymore.

“Oh, good. You’re up,” Spencer spoke, putting his book away.

“Are we here already?” You asked, your voice croaky and hoarse.

“Yep,” he nodded. “We landed about ten minutes ago.”

“Oh,” you frowned, sitting up and getting out of your seat. You stretched your limbs, yawning once more as you held your hand up above your head. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” You sighed.

“You’re just so peaceful when you sleep. I couldn’t,” he explained.

You smiled and went to get your luggage. “Thanks, Spence. But everyone is probably waiting for me now.”

“No, it’s alright. We can’t go and see the crime scene yet anyways.”

“How come?” You asked. “Not prepped for us,” Spencer answered.

“Since when does a crime scene need to be prepped for the FBI?” You snorted.

“You’d be surprised,” Spencer let out a breathy chuckle.

You put your duffle bag over your shoulders and handing Spencer his, holding your hand out for Spencer to take. “Join me down the stairs?”

“Of course,” he grinned, standing up and taking your hand into his and his bag.

You two walked off the jet, going over to the SUV. Spencer drove you two to the hotel where you dropped off your things, immediately going to the police station.

“ ‘Bout time!” Matt exclaimed, seeing you two walking through the doors.

You chuckled, “Sorry. Looks like the coffee wore off and I finally crashed.”

“It’s alright. I think the scene is ready for you guys to look at now,” he said.

“Great,” you smiled.

You and Spencer found Tara, going into the SUV once again, driving to the house where the parents were killed and children taken.

“Wow, I’ve never seen this much yellow tape in my life,” you chuckled. “Yeah. It’s definitely not an eye sore,” Tara chortled, stepping over the caution tape.

You and Spencer followed her, going up to the police offers that were talking at the front door.

“Hi, we’re FBI agent with the BAU. I’m Doctor Tara Lewis, this is Doctor Spencer Reid, and Agent Y/n L/n,” Tara introduced you all.

You smiled and shook the two officer’s hand. “Nice to meet you two.”

“Likewise. I’m Officer Santiago and this is Officer Reynolds. The parents were killed in two different places. The father in the bedroom, mother in the oldest child’s room.”

“Lovely. Can’t wait to see,” Tara smiled sarcastically.

“Oh, I bet. Go ahead and go in, let us know if you find anything, please,” Reynolds said.

You nodded and stepped into the house, cringing at the heavy smell of bleach.

“God. It’s like a hospital in here, but twenty times worse!” You held your nose. “I should’ve told Emily I needed to stay back with Penelope.”

“Oh, this is nothing,” Spencer smirked. “Wait until you see where they all got killed.”

“Ew, Spence!” You shrieked. “You’re supposed to protect me from all that.”

He chuckled, “All part of the job, baby.”

You nodded and sighed, knowing that he was right. As always. You three walked up the stairs, looking at where the father was killed. There was an enormous amount of blood of the bedsheets and some on the corner of the right nightstand, some splatters that were below on the floor.

“So,” you started. “We’re looking at a team, right? I mean, there’s no way that the unsub could kill the father without the mom noticing.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking’,” Tara nodded. “Well, I could be possible,” Spencer contradicted.

You and Tara looked at each other, confused.

“Yeah, how?” You asked.

“Well,” Spencer said, walking over to the bed. “The unsub could’ve choked or suffocated the father in his sleep. I mean, there were ligature marks around his neck, right?”

“True. And the mom was saying goodnight to her children, so she obviously didn’t see her husband get killed,” Tara added on.

You furrowed your brows, stepped out of the parents’s bedroom, going to the child’s.

“Yeah, but, what about the kid? I mean, wouldn’t it have screamed and fought and ran out of the house?” You asked.

Tara looked to you, eyes widening in surprise. “Yeah, that is a good thought. So… unsub number one is killing the father while unsub number two is kidnapping the mom slash killing the child…”

“No, that wouldn't work. Maybe it’s a group of three?” Spencer suggested.

“Maybe,” Tara shrugged.

You stepped into the child’s bedroom, scrunching your nose as a foul smell wafted under your nose. You walked around, covering your nose with your sleeve. You saw the blood on the bedsheets and nightstand table.

“Looks like the unsubs all have the same MO’s,” you muttered.

You opened the closet, seeing nothing but toys, clothes, and shoes. You closed the doors, looking around the walls, your heart sinking as you saw all the finger pantings and pictures of family and friends. You walked up to the wall, losing your balance as you tripped on a a long, soft object.

You let out a yelp, falling on your shoulder. You groaned in pain, turning on your back while holding your injured side. You looked around for the object you tripped on, frowning as you couldn’t find it. Something pale caught the corner of your eyes. You raised your brow, getting up on your knees and moving closer.

“What the —” You muttered, your voice getting caught in your throat as you realised it was an arm sticking out under the bed. “Oh, my —” You gasped, peering under the bed, seeing the dead body of one of the children. “Oh, my God!” You shouted, scooting back, your back hitting the wall as you stared at the lifeless body. Tears welled up in your eyes and you put your hand to your mouth, loud and broken sobs escaping your throat.

The boy couldn’t have been more than a few days old, yet it was still lying there. You could see the lifelessness in his eyes, and still the fear. There was a slit across his throat and cheek, his upper chest red with with green and purple bruises. You felt nauseas and cold, your heart sinking all the way down past your stomach. Your body was shaking and you couldn’t tear your eyes off of the body, no matter how hard you tried.

You heard the footsteps of your colleagues, their voices calling your name.

“Y/n, where are — O-Oh, my God.” Spencer’s eyes widened as he saw you crying on the floor. He immediately dropped down to his knees, taking you into his arms. “What happened.”

You were unable to move, your eyes staring wide at the body. Spencer followed your gaze, his own heart dropping down to his chest.

“Oh, man. Um,” Spencer said, looking away from the body and to you. His heart broke as he saw you so horrified. He put his hand on your cheek gently, turning your face so you were no longer looking at the body. “Let’s get you to out of here, alright?”

You nodded slowly, your breaths becoming laboured as you tried to calm yourself down in Spencer’s arms. He got up, taking you with him. He walked you out of the room, coming face-to-face with Tara.

“What happened?” Tara gasped.

“Looks like the unsubs left the older boy. Tell the police officers, I need to get Y/n out of here,” Spencer said.

Tara looked at you, nodding without hesitation. She let you two go, Spencer walking you down the stairs slowly. You exited the house, still taking heavy breathes as the image of the boy haunted your thoughts. Spencer gently got you seated into the car, buckling you in. He went to the driver’s seat, getting in and starting to drive.

You two sat in the silence for thirty minutes while Spencer drove around. You looked at the window the whole time, your eyes glossy and strained from crying and keeping them open. Whenever you closed your eyes, even to just blink, flashes of the dead boy raced through your mind. Spencer waited patiently for you to speak, understanding how shocked and horrified you were.

He parked in a Burger King parking lot, sighing and looking at you. He gingerly put his hand on your shoulder, only for you to shrug him away.

“Y/n,” he sighed.

“No,” you grumbled. “Take me back.”

“I think it would be smart if you took the day off. Seeing a dead body, especially a child’s and one you had no idea exited, can really throw you off. The first time I saw a dead body…. Man, I-I was sick to my stomach. I—”

“Shut up!” You exclaimed, waving your hands in the hair. You looked at him, your chest heaving up and down. Your brows were furrowed and mouth open, your eyes glaring at him. “Just shut up, Spencer!”

His mouth went agape, hurt flashing though his eyes. He didn’t let your outburst dampen his spirits, though. He knew you were embarrassed and still horrified, and that you didn’t like to feel belittled. So he gave you a small, comforting smile, taking your hands into his. You didn’t move away this time, but you avoided any and all eye contact.

“I know how you feel, babe,” he sympathised. “Yeah, I bet,” you muttered, your voice hoarse and dry.

He frowned and unbuckled, leaning closer to you. He put his hand on your chin, turning your head with strength and force. You eventually met his eyes, his smile dropping as he saw tears rolling down your cheeks once again, your lips pulled into a pout.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he assured, cupping your cheek and wiping your tears away with his thumb.

“N-No, it’s not,” you sobbed, shaking your head. “I-I’m so weak. I should’ve been ready. This is what I’ve been tra-trainging for and I suddenly turn into a freaking wuss? I-I… I… It’s so embarrassing!” You shoulders racked with sobs as you hung your head down to cry.

“Oh, baby,” Spencer sighed, taking your head in both of his hands. He held your head up again, bringing his face close to yours. He put his forehead against yours, kissing the tip of your nose lightly. “It’s no embarrassing, alright? Your reaction was a perfectly normal reaction to seeing a dead child’s body. Honestly, if you didn’t cry and freak out, I would be worried,” he chuckled.

You gave him a watery smile, laughing with him. “Y-Yeah, I s-suppose,” you sniffled. “B-But,” you started. “I-It makes me look weak. And I don’t want to look weak, Spence. A-All my life I’ve been told —”

He smiled widely, leaning back so he could look you in the eyes. “You’re not weak, Y/n. You never could be, even if you tried. You’re just human, and that’s fine. It’s amazing, honestly. You know, I am so proud of you, babe.”

You frowned, “Why?”

“Because today was your first day out on the field, and you did fantastic. It can only get better from here.”

“Y-You really think so?” You sniffed, wiping your nose with your sleeve.

“I know so,” he nodded confidently. “And it’s okay to show weakness, Y/n. No weakness is the real weakness.”

“Such wise words,” you laughed. He laughed with you and he shrugged. “I try.”

You laid your head back on the headrest, looking a him through tired eyes. “Thanks, Spencer. It really means a lot.”

He nodded with a smile. “Of course, honey. Now, why don’t you say we get something to eat, then go back to the precinct?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “Sounds great.”

He nodded and buckled himself back in, putting his hand on the gearshift and looking to you.

“I’m proud of you, you know that?”

You smiled shyly, heat scorching your cheeks. “Yeah, I know. You’ve already told me.”

“Just making sure you know, baby.”

————

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

Text

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

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shinjaeha · 3 years

Text

ipytm ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

this is going to be a tough post for me to do bc honestly...this ep just left me feeling so run down. i know that the cast and crew have always strived for realism and authenticity with this series, but this one was just a lot to take in :/ my thoughts are gonna be even more all over the place than usual but idec at this point. having to rewatch this ep again is really fucking hard (even harder than itsay ep 4 bc even though that makes my heart ache, i still feel some sense of satisfaction from the development we get...this just leaves me feeling defeated in every way).

you know the drill: not an analysis, just me ranting as usual bc free therapy (and boy do i need it after this one)!! i had so many feelings watching this ep (esp towards teh but what’s new), so here goes.

we begin with the drama students rehearsing for jai’s new play, and the introduction of the plum wine which will be the recurring motif in this whole ep. the use of the plum wine in this also kind of reminds me of how teh initially disliked coconuts until he started falling in love with oh-aew and started to like them instead...i’m guessing that’s the parallel they’re trying to draw with the plum wine comparison in this.

teh’s having a hard time getting into character (which we already know from last ep was always going to be one of the toughest challenges for him as an actor). his character in the play is supposed to have a sex scene, but he’s struggling with this bc he can’t put himself in his character (akin’s) shoes, so jai ends rehearsals early.

jai gives them all logbooks which he basically wants them to treat as diaries where they’ll write everything they feel/learn and hand it back to him (he’ll be the only one reading them). ngl this already had me feeling kind of yikes (esp now as i rewatch this knowing how everything went down) since jai already has inside knowledge about teh’s feelings on his relationship with oh-aew which he can take advantage of :/ more on that later though...

it’s sad to me that so much time has passed since teh’s argument with khim and he's STILL avoiding her. khim was someone that he respected immensely (and was such a great mentor for him) so it just sucks to see that their relationship has deteriorated so much since the first two eps. teh might have had his reconciliation moment with oh-aew last ep, but there’s still a lot that he’s not ready or willing to address yet.

i understand that teh’s just encouraging jai about his work when he tells him to stop having others comment on it, but at the same time, i disagree with him bc i think it IS important to get other peoples’ opinion about your work. how else will you ever be able to see things from other perspectives if you don’t?

anyway, teh tells jai he’s seeing a play, and jai asks teh if he’s bringing oh-aew...the look on teh’s face is telling enough that things aren’t going great between them (at least on his end). this brings us to the logbook scene, where teh’s homework for the day is to write about the similarities and differences between himself and his character in the play. this gets teh to reflect on how he feels his relationship with oh-aew is changing, or specifically, how oh-aew seems to be changing so much that teh feels like he’s becoming someone else entirely...and does that mean that he still loves him the same?

i feel like this is a fairly common issue with people that have been in a relationship for a while (and this is their third year together now), so i understand how teh might start having doubts. it’s nothing that oh-aew’s done, it’s just that sometimes all these small changes can keep mounting up to the point that they feel much bigger than they actually are. oh-aew’s really just doing what everyone else does, which is grow and change as they get older, but teh’s still stuck in the past trying to hold onto what they used to have instead of evolving with oh-aew. the way teh picks at all these little changes of oh-aew does make me think that he’s self-sabotaging himself. he’s just so afraid and insecure that oh-aew will change so much he leaves him, that he has to nitpick at reasons why oh-aew’s the one that’s growing away from him (though when we watch the whole ep we know that that’s not the case at all). it’s like a ‘if i push him away first, then he won’t push me away’ sort of self-defence mechanism. either way, teh’s a constant overthinker...and he’s always been his own biggest enemy since the start, so it makes perfect sense to me that he would do this to himself here too.

i know that they’ve been together for years at this point, so things are not quite as exciting as they used to be, but it hurts to see oh-aew be so happy about getting an A for his class, and teh be so unenthused about it. oh-aew has to basically beg teh to give him attention and praise. remember when teh used to get so worried when oh-aew did badly in chinese class...and now it’s like whatever to him just bc he’s not tutoring him/they’re not in the same major anymore :((( i know it’s prob both bc teh’s still hurting that oh-aew transferred majors, and from seeing oh-aew succeed while he feels like he’s failing, but still...

also, not inviting him to see the play with him bc he thought oh-aew wouldn’t be interested/oh-aew kept falling asleep whenever they saw plays together ;;; i get the reasoning from both povs, but it still is nice to be asked :(

so one thing i have to say about the progression of their relationship here is that i just feel this huge disconnect from last ep and this ep?? i know it’s bc of the time skip (since it’s a year later basically), but to go from the end of ep 2, where they’re promising to love each other forever, and then to teh feeling disillusioned/as though he’s falling out of love with oh-aew basically right after that?? it’s so jarring. i feel like we lose so much with these time skips bc the transition from ep 2 to ep 3 is never really shown, so there’s this lack of flow there. like we’ve skipped a step entirely and something’s missing. this is the disadvantage of only focussing on one year per ep since there’s not enough time to explore as much character and relationship development when we’re only seeing an hour long snippet of an entire year. it just makes things feel superficial since so much of what we should be seeing is missing...and we basically have to fill in all the gaps ourselves.

okay, back to oh-aew ranting to his friends about how he feels like his relationship with teh is fading away bc they don’t have the same interests anymore, but also wondering if that’s just normal for long-term relationships. bless that boy that came to ask oh-aew for his ig :’) at least he knows that he’s wanted and has options, even if he obv turns him down bc of teh (for now).

plug and mangpong are dating!!!!!!! and mangpong does a horrible job of trying to hide it 😂 sidenote, but i love the way pp delivers lines sometimes (like the “just shocked”), he’s so cute. plug and mangpong’s legs touching...and the wave of nostalgia that came over me (and oh-aew) during that ;;; oh-aew seeing their blossoming relationship would make him reminisce back to his own experience of falling in love with teh...when everything was still so fluttery and new. so when teh texts him about using his car to help jai move, he looks happy. like he wants to rekindle those feelings again too.

that being said, it’s kind of sad to me how even jai shows more interest in oh-aew’s major than teh (when he asks him for his opinion on how to get people interested in his play). oh-aew’s got some good ideas and is more than willing to help (esp since he wants to connect and find a common interest with teh again). also, just bc oh-aew doesn’t want to be an actor anymore doesn’t mean that he’s completely uninterested in it. god, watching this part again hurts bc oh-aew looks so happy and optimistic. he worked so hard to help teh (and jai) only for them to betray him like that. it made me mad originally, but now it just breaks my heart :(

jai’s running acting classes again for his play, and this time it’s a workshop to help them tap into their feelings. it’s like an intimacy exercise where they give one another consent to touch certain body parts. teh is still struggling a lot with this. i think teh craves intimacy, but as he doesn’t feel that connection in his personal life to oh-aew anymore, so it’s difficult for him to draw on his experiences. he can’t even remember the first time he had sex with oh-aew properly anymore. as usual, teh’s too in his own head to just go with the flow and ~feel things (which isn’t new since teh’s had problems with this since itsay), but it’s def something that he’ll need to learn how to do if he wants to become an actor. he’s trying, but the fact that he can’t get to that place makes him feel even more insecure than ever that he might never be able to get there. imo one of the reasons teh works so hard, and is as driven and ambitious as he is, is that he’s afraid that he’ll never be good enough. he puts so much pressure on himself, and the issue with that is that he’ll never be able to live up to his expectations that way.

teh is also very much alone now. oh-aew has his group of friends to talk to about his relationship with teh, but teh just has jai at this point. he’s pushed khim away...and he and oh-aew aren’t communicating effectively (which is also why they’re on SUCH different wavelengths in terms of where their relationship is at), so there’s literally only jai for him to talk to about all his relationship issues. and to me at least, jai seems to have ulterior motives (particularly when you consider that the subject matter of his play is pretty much the same thing that teh’s going through rn). it’s times like this when i do feel kind of bad for teh, but then again, he brought this upon himself the way that he almost always does...and it leaves me frustrated instead.

jai kissing his professor though...also their conversation?? i have QUESTIONS...

that whole interaction with teh when jai catches him spying on him and the professor was SO awkward. idk what it is about teh but i have never encountered a character that has given me as much secondhand embarrassment as he does. when he starts touching the bars and avoiding eye contact i just- why, teh why?????

moving on, i’m thinking there’s prob more to that scene that we don’t know about bc jai’s shifty like that...but it’s purpose is also to shift teh’s perception of jai. before this, he pretty much just saw jai as his friend and mentor, but seeing him kiss someone else pushes him to think of jai in another less platonic light. like the first spark of attraction.

the both of them go to see the mime show (babymime), and i know that the point of this is so teh can learn to just feel and let go the way that the mimes in this play do, but idk it’s just kind of funny to me the contrast between the last scene and this one.

the leg touching scene again but this time with teh and jai...thanks, i hate it :///

teh’s already feeling like he and oh-aew’s interests are making them drift apart, so by connecting with jai, it’s that initial feeling of attraction that he used to feel with oh-aew all those years ago. jai is that cool senior that he respects...he’s goal-oriented and has so much in common with him (in a way that he feels that oh-aew doesn’t anymore), so it doesn’t altogether surprise me that teh latches onto jai in this way. esp when all their conversations revolve around what teh’s most passionate about, and what dreams they’re striving towards in the future.

it doesn’t surprise me bc teh’s affections shifted in a similar way from tarn to oh-aew when he was first starting to realise his feelings for oh-aew too (though at least he and tarn were never officially dating during that time...)

there’s a genuineness to the way teh praises and encourages jai that isn’t there when he’s doing the same to oh-aew :( and that coupled with teh lying to oh-aew about him having dinner with jai while oh-aew is at home, completely oblivious, painstakingly photoshopping his boyfriend’s face on the poster of the play TO HELP TEH instead of doing his own uni work, makes me so fucking upset for oh-aew.

it’s interesting to see how different their personalities are even when it comes to something as simple as the way they read their texts. oh-aew is so ready to accept whatever teh tells him at face value, but teh overthinks everything to the point where he jumps to a certain conclusion in his head about it instead.

but yeah, it’s just really tough to see oh-aew try so hard for teh, only to see teh do nothing back for oh-aew in return. there’s only so much one side can give. it’s the absolute lack of effort on teh’s part to even try to make things work with oh-aew that is the most frustrating thing of all. oh-aew is carrying their entire relationship rn and it makes me feel all “and for what?? why should he even bother??” about it.

sneaking to sit at the river with jai is like this forbidden, new experience, so it just enhances that feeling of attraction that teh is already feeling towards jai. and esp when he starts telling him about his previous relationship with james, the significance of the plum wine, and how jai ended up breaking up with him. since it’s reflective of teh’s own experiences atm (even in how he kind of self-sabotages himself to push people/oh-aew away first), he clearly takes it to heart. and it makes him want to do an even better job since the play is an autobiographical one for jai. not to mention, teh supposedly being the only one that jai told his story to makes him feel ‘special’......and we all know how teh likes feeling as though he’s special to someone. you can see it in how dejected he is when he thinks jai only told him his story bc he wanted him to get into character better, but perks up the moment jai says he actually told him bc teh’s been doing such a good job (and to encourage him). like i mentioned before, teh’s already feeling vulnerable and isolated from everybody else, so hearing any sort of praise (and esp when it’s from someone that he looks up to as much as jai), is going to pull him in.

when they were hiding from the security guard i was like ughhh i know where this is heading and i. don’t. like. it........

the problem is that i know where teh stands on this. like i know that there’s some attraction on his end. but i don’t know where jai stands. is he intentionally manipulating teh’s feelings for his play? is there any sincerity there? i think it’s obvious that he can tell teh is attracted to him from the glance that they share in this scene, but i can’t get a handle on what he actually wants (which i guess is the point of making his character as mysterious as it is but still). and if he can tell, and he doesn’t actually like teh back in that way, it makes the end scene even more yikes imo.

hmmm teh lying in the pool trying to recreate that feeling right before their first kiss when the both of them just let everything go and sank down into the water. that’s how you KNOW the next scene is supposed to be angsty...bc just like how their first underwater kiss had a sense of sadness to it bc they were hiding, their first (on screen) sex scene has that same sense of sadness, only this time it’s bc teh’s using his attraction to jai/his method actor desire to get into character to fuel the sex instead of bc he genuinely just wants to have sex with oh-aew. and if his reasoning for the sex is bc of that, then his task to recreate their first sexual experience will never live up to the actual first time they had sex (when they BOTH wanted it, and there were no other factors involved).

that’s not to say i don’t think teh doesn’t love oh-aew anymore. i think that there HAS to be some level of love still there amidst all of the confusion, but it feels a lot more like he’s testing his love/attraction to oh-aew during this scene (sort of like how he did with tarn in itsay) than a proper ‘love scene’. like he’s trying to reconfirm his feelings, whilst using oh-aew as inspiration for his role at the same time. it makes my heart ache that this is the first love scene we get from them this series, and it’s marred by the context of what we know is going on in teh’s head. like i said, it’s this permeating sadness throughout...and just knowing that oh-aew has absolutely NO IDEA what’s going on with teh and why he suddenly wants to have sex makes it worse. oh-aew’s been trying to make things work, and in his mind, teh spontaneously coming over like this prob makes him think that things are getting better between them since this is also the closest thing to teh showing any sort of initiative to work on their relationship in this ep so far...

and that’s not also taking away how beautifully this whole scene is shot. i’ve always loved the way that teh and oh-aew play and flirt with each other (bkpp’s chemistry is honestly unparalleled!!) so it was nice to see them be kind of playful before they started kissing again (if you ignore how sad this scene really is). i LOVE the inter-splicing between their first time on the beach and the present. the way the score swells, and little moments where you can see their feet and fingers interlocked on the beach. it gives you such a visceral visual (and totally takes me back to itsay days when that sort of imagery was used a lot more). i just hate that since we know the truth, this scene is more uncomfortable than satisfying despite how nicely shot it is.

i wish we got more domestic moments from them. i know their relationship has sort of grown past those initial moments of flirtation, but it truly makes me sad that we don’t get to see more of them as a couple in general in ipytm. moments like this where they’re lying in bed cuddling each other are so few and far between that i always feel like i have to cherish every little fleeting piece of fluff that i can get. even if idek if this can really be called fluff since the context sort of ruins it.

oh-aew’s still got his heart attack bag :’)))

he was soooooo happy when he met up with his friends 😭 but also, how the hell is it possible for teachers to move deadlines up like that. i FEEL that panic... poor oh-aew...

teh’s in rehearsals again and this time he’s wearing his moon shirt which...i do NOT need those ep 3 itsay vibes rn when i was already dreading this last ten minutes with everything i have in me :((( but anyway, jai’s brought plum wine to class and we know that teh doesn’t usually drink, but he does this time. he tells teh that the taste will change over time (it symbolises the ageing of the relationship process), and teh says it’s a pity he won’t get to taste it next time since jai wants to go abroad to study. then teh tells him he’s worked on the acting exercise and wants to try it out with jai, and i feel like we all knew where it was going to go from here.........

they really had to hammer it in with him missing oh-aew’s call too huh :/

as soon as they started the touching/intimacy exercise again i was just waiting for the catch. even on this rewatch i’m still sitting here chanting “don’t do it teh don’t do it” knowing full well that he kisses jai and there’s no changing that. but then when they cut to oh-aew walking up the stairs with the posters and you hear just how much time he’s sacrificed to help teh/jai on this...sacrificing time EVEN NOW just to go over to their uni to give them the posters when he has a presentation due tomorrow that he and his friends still haven’t finished working on...it’s just heartbreaking knowing what he’s going to end up walking in on.

whether it’s itsay or ipytm, teh’s default state is confusion. so while i think that there’s a certain amount of attraction towards jai there of course, i kind of get the feeling that he’s confusing his feelings of connection with jai (bc of their shared interests and passion) with him falling in love with jai. i feel like his attraction to jai reminds him of what it was like when he was first attracted to oh-aew, and since things have changed so much between him and oh-aew, it’s like he wants to recreate and capture that feeling again with jai (which is also why he wears the moon shirt...he wore that during itsay ep 3 beach scene, which was the moment when the attraction really started to burn between him and oh-aew). he can’t feel that same spark with oh-aew anymore, so he transfers his feelings to jai since, at this point in time, he feels closer to jai than anyone else. instead of growing alongside oh-aew, it’s like he’s choosing to revert back to a time when he was happier.

we know that teh has always been the type of person that will act on his impulses when he feels them. that’s WHY it was so hard to watch...bc i knew while watching that last scene, he was never going to restrain himself or put a stop to those feelings bleeding over into action. and esp not when it could benefit him in some way with his acting too.

in the end, it just makes me so devastated for oh-aew. and i really hope that he doesn’t let this go bc he thinks it’s just teh method acting or getting into character or whatever...i know that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things rn, but that’s not an excuse. he really fucked this one up.

the thing is, it’s not that i don’t think teh is capable of acting this way (i’ve seen a few people say that this is ooc for him, but it really isn’t? this confusion and impulsiveness has always been a part of his character from the very start...he was always the one that had the most trouble dealing with his feelings out of the two of them), but the time skips don’t do him any favours bc we lose all those moments that take him to what he’s currently feeling. when we don’t have those moments, then it’s a lot harder to sympathise with him. in itsay, bc we always knew how teh got from point a to point b, even if he did frustrating/silly things, i always understood where he was coming from. i always felt for him. i GOT his struggles, which was why i was always able to empathise with what he was going through. in ipytm, he just comes off as unlikeable bc of how superficial his feelings seem (from what we’re being shown on screen at least).

falling out of love with your significant other/starting to feel things for someone else is obv a fairly common experience, so i don’t blame teh for FEELING like this, but it’s how he treats oh-aew throughout this that doesn’t sit right with me. even if you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, or that they’ve changed since the first time you fell in love with them, you’d think there’d be some motivation to at least TRY to make things work with them before giving up. we never see that from teh at all. instead, he just see him becoming infatuated with jai (so we barely see teh/oh-aew together in the first place). and while i can see now that a lot of this is due to his own insecurities and inadequacies, it’s also just so disrespectful to oh-aew who's the one that we see putting in all this time and effort (it calls back to their whole “don’t give my time to others” scene in itsay bc we see oh-aew giving so much of his time to teh through helping him out with his play, while teh’s giving that time that should be for oh-aew to jai now). no matter his reasoning, watching teh act that way towards oh-aew does make it increasingly hard to root for him. there’s just too big a disparity in how the two of them choose to act and devote their time to their relationship.

what’s frustrating is that in itsay, teh would fuck up but he would always try to make amends with oh-aew in some way. he would always come forward to try to sort things out after...but there’s nothing here. even after their dinner fight in ep 2, it’s OH-AEW that reaches out to him first (even though it’s teh’s fault that they fought in the first place). where’s that boy that dressed up in his old school uniform in order to talk to oh-aew at his school? or made a whole chinese idioms scrapbook for oh-aew? or gave up his uni admission for oh-aew? i understand that characters and motivations change (and he was obv hopped up on his first love with oh-aew at the time), but it’s just really, really sad to see teh keep messing up and not even try to meet oh-aew halfway with this. yes, you can fuck up, but there are only so many times you can keep fucking up before it starts to look more like a pattern of shitty behaviour than a few forgivable missteps.

another issue is that there’s been so much focus on teh and his flaws that a lot of the time oh-aew comes off as a side character to teh’s story. previously, i understood that since teh was grappling with his sexuality. it made sense that his journey was the primary focus of the plot and character development. but i always felt that there was more room to explore oh-aew’s story (and i thought that we would get a lot more of that in ipytm...esp after ep 1), but it just feels like we kind of skimmed past all of oh-aew’s growth and struggles adjusting to bangkok/uni life so we could turn the attention back to teh again. i just hate that we never get to see more of how oh-aew’s changed in teh’s eyes (other than the surface level things like his hair, new car and major), and that we never get to see more of oh-aew’s life when it’s not related to teh in general. i hope that we’ll get more of oh-aew in the last two eps, but i really don’t know what they’ll give us anymore.

at this point, i don’t even want them as endgame anymore given everything that’s happened in the recent ep. and it pains me so much to say that bc teh/oh-aew are so immensely important to me, but they’re just in such different places in life. and teh esp has so much more growing to do (i think i said this last week too? teh...). oh-aew deserves to be with someone that can see his worth as he is (that won’t cheat on him for one!!). i just want him to be with someone that can make him happy. what i wanted most for them out of this was for the two of them to grow to a better place (together and as individuals), and while i still want that for them as individuals, it’s hard for me to want them to be happy together anymore. at least for the time being.

i’m kind of at a loss for how they’re gonna work through this (and i genuinely want oh-aew to be able to explore his options too...particularly with someone that will actually treat him better than teh’s treating him atm). so at this point it’s kind of looking to me like a break up is inevitable? but i do think it’s necessary for both of them rn. i feel so heartbroken about it though...like ipytm is actually making ME go through the breakup...breaking up with all my beloved itsay teh/oh-aew memories :((( anyway, i think a break up is also conveniently the best time to put a time skip tbh...so we’ll see if that does end up happening now in future eps.

this one took such a long time to write up bc i wrote like a quarter of this RIGHT after i finished watching the ep (so you can clearly tell which parts were me right after the ep, and which parts were me after i had some time to sit on what happened 😂), but i thought it was best to take a bit of a break. i didn’t rewatch it again until i calmed down a little and sorted out my thoughts some more (though i know this is still pretty messy). but yeah, i’m still very much interested in watching how they things are going to progress from here...but i can’t deny how sad i’ve been feeling after this.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #text #i feel like i always need to rewatch ipytm eps bc i'm so HEATED during the first watch #but then by the second one i've usually calmed down so much more #like i obv still have a lot of things that i'm not super happy with (and rewatching this again didn't really bring me joy) but still #i get so invested in itsay/ipytm that sometimes i just gotta take myself out of the situation and go live my life for a bit #i was meant to post this yesterday bc it's been sitting in my drafts for too long but i just woke up (it's 2am) so what better time hah

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bucky-blogs · 4 years

Text

Rising of the Sun

Pairing: Zuko x Reader, Zuko x Pregnant!Reader

Word count: 1,983

Warnings: Pregnancy, morning sickness

Synposis: “Hello can we have a pregnant reader with zuko’s baby??” - requested by @aqua-the-mermaid26 . Sequel to this fic

A/N: I love this so much bc this kind of fluffs are my weakness!! Hope you guys enjoy it. I really enjoyed writing this. Feedback is much appreciated. Requests are still open, just send an ask

The day you married Zuko was one of the happiest days of your life. After being crowned as fire lord, he proposed to you 2 years later in the turtle duck pond, where you spend most of your time while he was in meetings.

It was a magical night. You were both chilling under the tree while you watch the family of turtle ducks swimming around when he suddenly popped the question and, of course, you tackled him and said yes.

That was a year ago, your wedding day was on the day of the first full moon. That day, all of Fire Nation was invited to witness your union of becoming one, the gaang was there too, dressed in their best outfits but no one compares to your beauty that night. You were like a sun goddess that everyone worshipped. Zuko, being Zuko, forgot to write vows until the last minute, you just laughed at him and he poured his heart out for you and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Now things are going back to normal again, you just got back from your honeymoon in Ember Island where Zuko remodeled their old family home to relive some of his favorite memories of the past.

“Good morning, my love” Zuko whispered in your ear groggily as he tightened his embrace on you. You giggle, having been awake for a few moments now. “Good morning, husband” you replied sweetly.

He suddenly tackled you and is now above you peppering your face with kisses, “My wife, my queen” he said with every kiss. You started laughing and trying to push him away but he continued tickling your sides as well. “S-stop it, Zuko!” you tried to tell him while laughing and pushing him away.

“I’ll stop if you say it again”, he replied with a smile on his face as he sees your happy expressions. You knew what he was talking about. He loves it when he hears you say ‘husband’, it makes him weak in the knees.

“S-stop it, h-husband!”, you tried to say in between laughs.

He stopped, a smile adorning his face from ear to ear. It was a rare sight to see Zuko smile, and you cherished every moment you see it. You pulled his face down for a soft kiss, wanting to give him all the love in the world.

As you were kissing him, you suddenly felt a sense of nausea. You got up fast and raced to the bathroom to vomit. “Well, I didn’t know my morning breath was that disgusting for you to immediately throw up.”, he joked as he followed you and held your hair as you continued to puke. Once you were done, he helped you clean up. You smiled weakly at him and tried to ease the worry evident on his face. “I’m sure it’s just something I ate yesterday” you assured him as you caress his face.

Zuko told you to go to the infirmary immediately but you dismissed him, “I’ll go if it happens again, I’m sure it’s nothing” you keep assuring him. He reluctantly let you go so he can start his duties for the day.

Okay, you were wrong, you puked two more times that day and it’s made you weak for the rest of the day so, you visited the infirmary. As the healer checked you, the thought of being pregnant was on your mind. It brought a smile to your face, you and Zuko definitely talked about having kids. He was reluctant and scared of turning in to his father but you keep telling him that he was not his father and he’ll be a better father than Ozai was before.

The healer went to your quarters a few days later while you were resting and told you what they found. You were beyond ecstatic when you heard what the healer said. You were going to be a mother! Happy tears start to fall on your face as you basked in the great news. Of course, you were excited and you can’t wait to tell Zuko.

In that evening, you invited Zuko for a relaxing time in the turtle duck pond as you talked about your day. “I went to the infirmary a few days ago when I started throwing up and I just received the news today”, you told him softly.

A million thoughts already surfaced in his mind, what if you contracted an incurable disease? Were you terminally ill? Were you going to die? His breathing started to race and you turned to face him. “Zuko, stop panicking. Nothing’s wrong with me, in fact, it’s good news” you told him, trying to ease his panicking mind. He looked at you confused, how can throwing up be good news? He lets you continue, “The healer came to our quarters today and told me what was going on” you continued and looked at him smiling wide, “Zuko, I’m pregnant”

Words can’t explain the happiness Zuko was feeling that night, he was beyond shocked by the news. He never imagined himself being a father but now that he was with you, the thought of having children isn’t as scary as it was before. He hugged you tightly as happy tears stream down his face, “Thank you so much, Y/N. I promise to protect you both with all I have.” He kneeled in front of you and softly held your still flat stomach. “Hey, there bean, I promise to be good to you and mommy. I’ll protect you and give you the best life possible.”, he kissed your stomach, his lips lingering there and you feel tears in your skin.

You kneeled with him a few moments later and kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You went back to your room and celebrated the night with love and care. You knew that Zuko was going to be the best father to your children.

FIRST TRIMESTER

Every morning, Zuko would wake up before you and kiss your stomach as he whispers sweet words to it. He always helps whenever you have morning sickness. He will hold your hair up and whisper encouraging words to you as you puke everything in the toilet. He’ll wash you up and kiss your head. Whenever you feel cramps, he’s immediately there to heat his hand the right amount and massage you where it hurts. He’s such an attentive husband and father.

He told the gaang the news via messenger hawk and he received letters back, congratulating him. He would announce to every person he meets, that you were pregnant. He can’t get enough of saying, “My wife’s pregnant”. Telling Iroh the news was the best, you traveled to Ba Sing Se to Iroh’s teashop to personally deliver the news to him. Iroh was ecstatic with the news, “I’m going to be a grandfather!”, he would say this to every customer that goes there, “And I’m going to be a father!”, Zuko would shout after he hears his uncle say it to each customer.

Eventually, the whole Fire Nation, nay the whole Four Nations, knew you were pregnant just because both of them wouldn’t shut up about it.

“Zuko, I’m pregnant, not ill”, you always tell him whenever you try to join meetings and he tells you that you need to rest. That doesn’t stop him from always preventing you from doing heavy work but you manage to convince him that you can still do it.

SECOND TRIMESTER

When your bump started to show, Zuko would always talk to it. “Hey bean, it’s your daddy here. Be good to your mommy while I do my Fire Lord duties alright?”, he would say this every morning.

There’s no day that he won’t talk to your growing bump. The morning sickness is gone now, you feel the baby kicks!

One evening while you were trying to sleep, you felt a flutter in your stomach. You sat up quickly and grabbed Zuko’s hand while he was reading beside you. He was confused at first but then he felt the sudden kick of your baby and oh boy, his face was just priceless.

“Was that our baby?”

“No, it’s some turtle duck living inside me”

He laughed and the whole night his hand stayed in your stomach, wanting to feel his baby’s kicks.

Every time you have an appointment with the healer for your pregnancy, he was always there. There’s a meeting at that time? Meeting postponed, you always come first. He’s there in every appointment and asks a lot of questions to the healer about you and your bean.

“Are you sure bean’s okay?”, he would ask this at least 5 times until the healer would get annoyed. “Why don’t you just live inside your wife’s womb and see that your baby is healthy?” the healer would reply to him.

He would just shrug it off and caress your growing bump.

THIRD TRIMESTER

If you thought Zuko was overprotective in the last few months, you were wrong. Now that you’re nearing your due date, he wouldn’t leave your side.

“Here let me carry that for you”

“Zuko, it’s just a blanket”

Foot rubs at night were amazing, he would massage your feet whenever it aches. The panic came as you near your due date, he wants everything to be perfect. He refused to have his baby’s room far away from him, so he told the maids to set everything up in your room. You didn’t know the sex of the baby yet so everything is in the traditional fire nation colors. You already received gifts from your friends and other people from the council, wishing you and your baby well. Katara went to visit you during this time. She felt your bump and gleamed, already knowing that your baby is healthy.

Zuko was against you going out of the palace but you were so cramped up in the palace and you convinced him to take a palanquin ride to town to visit the market and buy some stuff.

You should’ve taken Zuko’s advice, you suddenly felt a wet sensation down there and you gripped Zuko’s hand tightly.

“Zuko, I think the baby’s coming”, his eyes widen and he ordered the guards to take you back to the palace. You’ve never seen how fast a palanquin can go but now you saw it. Once you were back, you were immediately put to the infirmary as the healers’ fussed over you.

When it was time to push, Zuko was beside you holding your hand and whispers words of encouragement to you.

“You can do this, my love, I’m proud of you. Our bean is just a few pushes away”

A few moments later, you heard the cry of your baby.

“It’s a girl, my lord, and lady!”, the healer announced.

Tears of joy stream down your face as you hold your baby girl in your arms. Zuko was beside you, the same mess as you are as he looks at your baby. You gestured for him to hold her and his eyes widen. He got scared, afraid that he would drop your baby, thoughts ran in his head, what if he wasn’t good enough? But you already started to hand her over to him. He immediately held her like he was his world and all those scary thoughts inside his head vanished if you could just paint this moment, you would.

“What would you like to name her, Fire Lord Zuko?”, the healer asked. You talked about names before one for a boy and one for a girl.

“Arpina”, Zuko softly replied.

“Just like the rising of the sun”, you softly whispered. Zuko turned towards you and kissed your head.

This was the start of a new chapter in your lives, you wouldn’t trade for anything in the world because the sun rises with you.

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asian-hero · 4 years

Note

You are literally the best at writing angst, your fics make me feel some typa way. Can I request a todoroki shoto fic where him and reader are dating and he’s a prohero and she’s a doctor. And shoto is absent a lot bc of work and s/o gets sad bc she feels the relationship is 1sided. They fight bc shoto prioritizes hero-ing, & rder is like “but I save lives too”. They get “close” to splitting, but they makeup somehow. Thank you!!!!!!!

A/N: You think you can get away with breaking my heart just because you complimented me on my writing? 😤 (but in all seriousness, thank you for the compliment!)

You guys know you can request fluffy shit too, right?

Summary: You knew that you and Shouto came from different worlds, and while both of your jobs helped to save people, that didn’t mean that the two of you necessarily saw eye to eye on certain things. One of the things that the two of you never seemed to agree on was your relationship, and you were starting to feel that the two of you would never agree when it came to that.

Words: 3,307

You knew from the start that dating a pro hero wasn’t going to be easy. One day you could wake up next to the love of your life, and then five hours later, you find out that they died while watching the evening news. Or, one day you could find yourself being abducted by villains as a pawn to lure your hero lover into rescuing you, and either become scarred from the trauma of being kidnapped, or be the reason why your partner had fallen. Along with this, the hours for a pro were sporadic and unpredictable, which made it even harder to keep up a healthy relationship. So, it was safe to say that most heroes didn’t usually get into relationships with civilians, and, as a doctor, who had to deal with said heroes, you promised yourself to never get involved with one of them. If not for your physical health, then for your mental health.

Oh, how naive you were.

Somehow, whether it be due to some force in the universe that wanted to prove you wrong, or your own lack of willpower, you not only caught the attention of a certain elemental hero, but he had also caught yours as well. At first, you blamed your flustered state on the fact that he seemed to be one of your most, regular, patients. You tried to fool yourself that you were just simply worried for his health. After all, it wasn’t healthy to be visiting a hospital almost every other week. A few weeks of trying to convince yourself, and you suddenly were faced with the horrendous idea that you may have actually been worried about him because you cared about him, more than you were supposed to. It didn’t help that he was so handsome and sweet. In all honesty, it was truly a marvel that you managed to keep it together for as long as you had.

While you tried to keep your feelings tucked away deep inside of your heart, Shouto seemed to have other plans. On the days that he wasn’t in your hospital, bothering you with some large gash from a villain, or some serious bruises and broken bones from attempting to catch a falling building, he would still make his presence known through vases of flowers addressed specifically to you, as thanks for patching him up. Soon, arrangements of flowers were no longer delivered by the mailman, but instead by Shouto himself. He’d make sure to catch you on your break, or whenever you weren’t busy, just so he could strike up a conversation with you. It was both the most sweet and baffling thing that someone has done for you. Fairly soon after his common visits, the hospital became like his second home, where everyone knew why he was there, and the glamour of having a famous pro hero in their work environment was no longer exciting.

So, no one could really blame you when you started dating him a few months later.

Loving Shouto was one of the easiest things that you’ve ever done. Being in love with him came naturally to you, as if it were another part of your body. He was always so kind and caring, and while he did have his moments where his inexperience in terms of relationships truly showed, he always strived to be the best boyfriend that he could be. You knew that Shouto was the one who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, to grow old with. In fact, about a year into your relationship, Shouto had suggested that the two of you move in together, under the guise that you would both be saving a lot of money when it came to water and electricity, since the two of you practically lived together anyways. Not that you needed a reason to move in with him.

However, life wasn’t always that easy, and relationships don’t always turn out the way you thought they would.

After two years of dating Todoroki Shouto, you knew that the two of you would fall into some form of routine. The “honeymoon” phase wasn’t going to last forever, and you were perfectly fine with that. You still loved him dearly, and even though you both didn’t express it nearly as much as you used to, the feelings were still there, at least, on your side of the relationship.

While the two of you began to fall into your normalcy, with you growing comfortable with each other’s company, you found yourself realizing just how absent Shouto was. It started when he’d cancel your little dinner dates at home, saying that you shouldn’t wait up for him, since he’ll be home late. Of course, you gave him the benefit of the doubt, because you knew that his schedule wasn’t always the best, so you never complained to him. Soon, though, instead of missing dinner, Shouto was missing the entire day. It wasn’t very often that you had the day off, so when you did, he promised that he’d be home as well, so the two of you could make up lost time. But, when the time came, you woke up alone in your shared bed, a short note on your bedside table being your only indication that he’d left the house, and that he wouldn’t be home until late at night. Eventually, your shared apartment started to feel as though you were the only one living in it, and the only way that you knew Shouto was still living there was because the leftovers you’d put in the fridge for him would be gone the next morning.

At first, you tried really hard to be understanding. You knew that he couldn’t always be there with you, as he had a job to do. Any annoyance that you held toward him would be instantly replaced by guilt, since you knew that he was busy. However, as the days turned into months, your patience began to grown thin, and you were starting to question whether or not he even loved you anymore. If he did, he certainly never showed it, nor did he seem to feel the need to tell you that he loved you. In all honesty, you couldn’t remember the last time he told you he loved you, or the last time you ever felt loved. At this point, you were just wondering if he even cared if you were around, or if you were just someone who he knew would always be there.

Though you had managed to keep your feelings away from him for a while, it didn’t take long for your heart to no longer be able to carry your sorrows, and soon enough, you found yourself sitting on your couch at one in the morning, balling your eyes out as you waited for Shouto to come home.

Luckily for you, you didn’t need to wait much longer, as you could hear the soft click of the lock, and in a matter of seconds, you found yourself staring down the love of your life, who seemed shocked at the fact that you were still awake.

“(Y/N)?” He called out, concern filling his voice, “Why are you still awake?”

Wiping your eyes, you took in a deep breath, preparing yourself for what was to come. “We need to talk,”

Though it was a bit hard to see, with only the light from the kitchen illuminating your apartment, you could make out the tired expression on Shouto’s face. With a soft sigh, he moved toward you, patting your head.

“Can we talk about this in the morning?”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms across your chest. “Will you even be here in the morning?”

Hearing the edge to your voice seemed to catch his attention, as he tilted his head, clearly confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged your shoulders, standing up from the couch in order to meet his eyes. “It’s a simple question, Shouto. You’re not even here when I wake up, so how are we supposed to talk?”

He furrowed his brow, not quite understanding what you were getting at. When he didn’t respond, you let out an obnoxious sigh, all of the anger you’ve been bottling up for the past few months finally rearing its ugly head.

“You know, at first I was fine with you cancelling for dinner. I did my best to understand that you’re a hero, and you have an important job to do,” Your eyes bore into him, almost as if you thought you could convey all of your hurt and anger by just your stare, “But, when you start to become less of a ‘roommate’ and more of a cryptid, that’s where I draw the line.”

“What are you talking about?” You could hear the defensive edge in his voice, and it did nothing to stop the fire from raging in your stomach.

“Do you even remember the last time that the two of us were together? The last time we did something that was remotely romantic? I certainly can’t!” You knew that you were unloading a lot of feelings onto him, but you couldn’t care less at this point.

“Well I’m sorry that I can’t be here all the time, but it’s not like I can just stop what I’m doing just to come home and chat,”

You wanted to rip your hair out. “I’m not asking you to do that!”

“Then what do you want?” He asked, his tone becoming as sharp as a knife, “Do you want me to quit my job? To stop being a hero? I’m not going to stop just because you feel upset. There are actual lives on the line.”

“Do you think that I don’t understand that?” You snapped, your nails digging into the palms of your hands.

“I save lives too, you know! Every single day I go to work and do my best to help out those who need me the most, but you don’t see me neglecting this relationship,”

He scoffed, his lips quirking downwards. “Just because you don’t see the work I put in doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. You knew what my life was like when we started dating, I don’t know why this is surprising,”

“I know what I got myself into! I just wish that I would matter just a fraction as much as your job,”

“You want me to prioritize you over my duty to the people?”

“That’s not what I’m saying! I just want to feel like I’m important to you,” You could feel your shoulders deflating, “Why is that so hard to understand?”

The two of you could have fought the entire night and have gone in circles. Instead, Shouto merely took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Can we just talk about this in the morning? It’s late, and I can’t think about this right now.”

All of the fight that was in you had suddenly dissipated, and all you were left with was this hollow feeling in your chest. Shaking your head, you brushed past him, heading towards the guest room.

“Don’t worry. There’s nothing to talk about anymore,” You didn’t even bother turning towards him, “Just, do whatever you want.”

With that, you shut the door behind you, locking it and then throwing yourself onto the bed, praying that you’d get at least a couple hours of sleep before your shift.

Unfortunately for you, you ended up getting about two hours of sleep before waking up at six in the morning. Wordlessly, you got ready for work, not bothering to check if Shouto was still home, though, you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d just taken off right after you left.

Once you had arrived at the hospital, you were instantly greeted by the concerned stares from your coworkers, with some even voicing that you didn’t look so good. Not wanting to worry anyone, you told them that you were fine, and that you just didn’t get that much sleep last night. It wasn’t a complete lie, and it got them off of your case, so, you figured that you got away with it.

You honestly couldn’t remember what happened during the rest of the day. Bits and pieces would come to you, like when you had to do a routine check-up for one of your favorite patients, or when you took a thirty minute nap during your lunch. Other than that, you truly could not remember what you did. In fact, if your receptionist didn’t tell you that it was nearly eight in the evening, you were sure that you would’ve stayed the night by accident.

As you left your shift and hurried onto the next train to take you home, you couldn’t help but replay the conversation you had with Shouto. You weren’t quite sure where your relationship stood. Neither of you had made the effort to contact the other, and although it had only been one day, you couldn’t help but feel anxious. While of course, you were glad that you told him how you felt, and that you wished he could be more present as a partner, you felt bad about how you went about telling him. There were better ways of telling him that you felt as though he didn’t care anymore, and snapping at him was probably one of the worst ways to go about it. So, as you continued your journey home, you figured that you’d apologize for snapping at him like you did, but you were in no way going to apologize for how you felt, or for telling him that you didn’t feel like a priority for him.

Once the train had reached its destination, and you had finally made it to your front door, you were just about ready to collapse onto the couch. Maybe get in a quick nap before eating dinner, or maybe you’d just head straight towards your bed and get a full eight hours of sleep. However, once the door swung open, rather than being greeted by the deafening silence that you had grown accustomed to, you could hear the soft hum of the radio being played, along with the quiet sizzling of something being cooked. Closing the door gently, you took off your shoes and jacket, quietly making your way towards the kitchen. As you peered from the doorway, you watched in awe as Shouto stood over the oven, watching almost warily at whatever he was making. It was obvious that he had no idea what he was doing, and, judging by how messy your kitchen looked, it was clear to you that this wasn’t his first attempt. Glancing over at the dining table, you noticed the pair of bowls and cups that were set, as if he were setting the table for two.

Deciding that you were tired of just standing there, you cleared your throat, making your presence known.

He jumped a bit, whipping his head towards the source of the noise, before letting out a sound of relief. Quickly turning off the stove, he faced himself towards you, and you could tell that he felt awkward.

“What are you making?” You asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

“Fried rice,” He started, rubbing the back of his neck, “I thought I could make dinner, it seemed simple enough,”

You hummed, slowly making your way over to him, trying to gauge his reaction. When he didn’t move away, you stepped closer, peering into the pan to look at what he made. While it was slightly overcooked, you appreciated the effort. Motioning toward the table, you spoke, “Go grab the bowls,”

After a few more beats of silence, the two of you found yourselves sitting in front of each other, staring awkwardly at your bowls of fried rice, unsure of what to say. While you really did want to apologize, you weren’t sure of how to approach the topic. You were worried that, if you brought up last night, it’d just end up with the two of you fighting again.

It seemed as thought Shouto had the same idea as you, as he finally spoke up, “I think we should talk about last night,”

Putting down your spoon, you nodded. Glancing up, you noticed the nervous expression on his face, and though you were about to talk about something serious, you couldn’t help but find comfort in the fact that he was just as nervous as you.

“Before we start,” You began, placing your hands in front of yourself, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that I got so angry last night. I was bottling up all of my emotions, and instead of just telling you, I let them get the best of me, and I exploded when I didn’t mean to,”

He frowned, moving to take one of your hands in his own, “I’m sorry that I tried to brush off your feelings and got defensive. I was tired and ready to go to sleep, so when you said you wanted to talk, I just snapped.”

You squeezed his hand, offering him a small smile. He returned it almost immediately, holding onto your hand as if you were his anchor. Rubbing his thumb against your knuckles, he gave you a reassuring look.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t listening last night, but I am now,” He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your hand, “Tell me what’s going on,”

You felt a pang of anxiety rushing through you, but you pushed through. Even though you felt awful saying it, the two of you didn’t fight just for the fun of it.

“I know that being a hero means the world to you, and I’m so proud of what you do. You constantly put yourself in harms way in order to protect those who can’t save themselves, and I admire that,”

He nodded his head, ushering you to continue, “But?”

“But,” You said, trying to choose your words carefully, “I feel like you put so much of yourself into your work that there’s not enough of you left when it comes to our relationship.”

You smiled sadly at him. “I’m not saying that I should be your number one priority, I know that would be too selfish. I’d just like to be in the top five, you know?”

The frown on his face made you rethink your words. Mirroring his features, you squeezed his hand. It took him a minute to respond, letting your words sink in. Once he found his voice, he spoke, “You shouldn’t feel like you have to settle for the top five,”

He got out of his seat, pushing it closer to you before sitting down once more. This time, he took both of your hands in his, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t important to me,”

You shook your head, your nose gently bumping against his. “I know you’re busy,”

“Never too busy when it comes to you,”

You found yourself breaking out into a small grin, laughing a bit. Seeing your relaxed figure, Shouto found himself laughing with you, disconnecting his hands from yours in order to place them on your waist, pulling you closer. As you found yourself practically straddling him, you couldn’t help but run a hand through his hair, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. He seemed to relish in your touch, as he leaned closer to you as you pulled away, causing you to let out another stream of giggles.

While the two of you still had to figure out how to manage your schedules, you were finally filled with a sense of comfort and love, one that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

#todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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evansfm · 3 years

Text

𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 –– 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 .

every morning evan woke up to a london sky that refused to let the sun in ; summer was drier than spring , but the clouds seemed to linger year round . . . not that she minded . she had , after all , grown up in county dublin , where things were always a bit damp . still , the lack of COLOR could be draining . . . so she searched for it in unexpected places , creating little pockets of color for herself in a rather grayscale world . golden lights strung on her balcony , isla’s bright red hair and matching smile , an array of bright letters boasting NME lining a wall –– covers from past decades , a rainbow rubik’s cube next to her keyboard , two framed photographs perched on her desk . the first seemed like forever ago , a beaming eloise with a twin on either side ; beck on the left , evan on the right , both planting kisses on her cheek one valentine’s day years and years ago . the second was more recent , backstage at a show in galway ; kieran sat in his chair with his fingers intertwined with evan’s as she draped her arms over his shoulders from behind , chin resting on top of his curls and a smile that looked SOFT compared to the goofy one ruairi wore , looming behind her with his chin on her head . she felt warmth every time she looked at them , but there was always a tug in her stomach . . . the undeniable feeling of something missing . she found her little pockets of color , but they still seemed muted without the people she loved –– the PERSON she loved .

their schedules had begun to clash –– and evan hated the way she was beginning to get used to the dull ache of his absence . distance had been a part of their relationship for months , but the time zones were killing her . they couldn’t always make time for hours wasted away on facetime ; she couldn’t always fall asleep to the sound of his voice on the other end of the line . they were both where they were supposed to be , chasing their dreams together , separately . . . but evan was beginning to wonder if the path she was on –– the desk , the deadlines , the distance –– was actually what she WANTED . there was a lack of creative control at nme ; she was a part of a greater whole , confined to a desk when she wasn’t out in the field . she felt restless . . . bored , almost . and with her most recent deadline met and a job of her own –– evan connely , sans nme –– waiting at the end of the week , she was distracted .

“ WHAT are you doing ? ” isla popped up behind her , coming out of nowhere to look over her shoulder .

“ jesus , ” evan startled , nearly dropping the plastic puzzle in her hand , “ where t’e fuck did you come from ? ”

“ charlotte’s office . answer my question . ”

“ playing wit’ a toy , ” she held up the half solved rubik’s cube , then let out an audible sigh as isla looked unimpressed , then jutted her chin towards the computer screen , “ trying to put together a mood board for t’is gig i’ve got wit’ saint valentine on friday . ”

perfectly shaped auburn brows raised , “ we got saint valentine ? ”

“ no , ” evan’s lips lifted into the faintest smirk , “ i got saint valentine . ”

“ you’re bloody joking . shut UP , ” isla gasped , rounding to her side of the table desk , just to roll her chair around , “ and you didn’t fucking tell me ? ”

“ no , because you couldn’t keep a secret if you tried .”

“ well that’s because it shouldn’t be a fucking secret , ev . this is fantastic , ” hazel eyes widened with excitement , “ so you’re shooting them for –– . . . ”

“ t’ey weren’t too explicit about it . i know for certain i’m covering bot’ shows at t’e o2 , documenting t’e whole thing from t’e moment they get there , ” evan huffed a curl away from her face , nodding to the screen , “ and t’en a shoot on site at t’e venue . so i’ve got to work wit’ what i’ve got . i’ve got ONE chance here , and nicky haven scares t’e absolute fuck out’a me , so i can’t blow it . ”

“ nicky haven scares EVERYONE . it’s part of his charm , ” isla leaned in , making herself perfectly comfortable in evan’s space as she took the mouse and began clicking through different ideas opened on photoshop , “ let’s see what you’ve got so far –– . . . ”

“ isla , it’s not a big deal . really i shouldn’t even be working on t’is HERE , right now . it’s not exactly nme related stuff , you kn–– ”

“ i TOLD you she was here today , ” a girl called sophie , who manned nme’s front desk in the mornings , materialized on the other side of evan’s desk . a junior writer , andrew , was hot on her heels .

“ soph , now really probably isn’t the best time and it really isn’t your busi–– ”

“ someone’s got to show her , ” sophie was , admittedly , obnoxious . and coming from EVAN , that was a feat .

“ show WHAT to WHO ? ” isla’s voice changed in tone , taking on a hint of authority as she looked at andrew , “ aren’t you meant to be doing some social media research right now ? ”

“ i WAS , but –– ”

“ but we’ve found something that evan HAS to see , ” sophie . again .

“ we ? ”

“ ME ? ” evan said in tandem with isla , brows lifting as she clicked the final piece into place on the cube . she glanced over at isla and felt a strange twist in her stomach when she saw the redhead had gone rigid .

“ is this about –– ”

“ rebecca stringer , ” andrew nodded solemnly , as though evan was supposed to know who the hell THAT was .

“ better known as BEX , ” sophie added .

it was evan’s turn to go rigid . her back straightened , and it felt like ice had just been shot through her veins . truth be told , she was more worried about conflicting schedules lately . . . not the way bex sing-songed a shortened version of kieran’s name . . . or the way she answered his phone and simply couldn’t remember who evan was . . . or the way she’d made sure evan could hear her promise to personally deliver kieran to his hotel room that first night in los angeles . it wasn’t exactly PLEASANT being reminded of the instinct that she’d shut down , intuition telling her something wasn’t quite right there . her brows pinched together as the rubik’s cube slid from one hand to the other and back . she glanced over at isla with a prompting look .

“ we’re . . . doing a piece about nepotism babies in the industry , and she’s a PERFECT example of one so i was having andrew look into the way she interacts with fans and her socials and what not . she’s one of like TEN people we’re looking into , ” she explained with an apologetic look . it was then that she turned a sharp eye to andrew and sophie , “ don’t know what THAT has to do with evan , though . ”

“ see for yourself . ”

“ SOPHIE . ”

“ what ? it probably isn’t even new information for her , ” she shrugged , reaching over two monitors to hand evan a phone . twitter was opened to a profile with bex’s beaming face in the icon , but the handle wasn’t hers . she gave the pair of them a skeptical look before glancing over at isla who only offered a half - hearted shrug . it didn’t take long to see what , exactly , sophie had been talking about , a slew of tweets and retweets .

bexupdates : bex & kieran pulled up to the venue together . . . and then left at the same time . why are they lowkey so cute annathefound : not bex wearing a baby tee version of the found’s merch . . . stanning her boyfriend just like the rest of us

ruairidailyposts : ok wait are evan & kieran even dating anymore bc i could be down with a bex & kieran moment cheerupbailey : @ruairidailyposts you know two people can have a relationship without posting about it right ??? they’re in separate countries rn lol

babybexxx : i just think that bex & kieran walsh as a power couple .

bxhq : no offense but bex is simply so much better for him than some rando from ireland like what thefoundupdates : @bxhq babes they LITERALLY grew up together ????

totallyconan : be honest do u guys think the reason evan isn’t on tour with them is bc they’re not together anymore like she literally never misses shows

adamfitzupdates : why are y’all so obsessed with a relationship that doesn’t concern you ??? chill bexlevitates : @adamfitzupdates bc it’s weird that evan knew him for so long and only started dating him AFTER the found started to get big like that’s shady

bexupdates : find someone who looks at u the way bex looks at kieran on stage wtf did y’all see that

newruleshq : no waaaay this man has a gf when he and bex look so good next to each other LMAO

thefoundupdates : according to the girl who wrote the article kieran literally WALKED OUT on the interview ??? rockstar behavior but also hope he’s ok

evan could’ve kept scrolling for hours as her heart rate began to rise and rise . the crease between her brows deepened , and she reminded herself of everything she knew to be true . kieran LOVED her . twitter was a BRUTAL place . it was as though the worst parts of her subconscious had come to life in 280 characters or less . her head began to swim as her heart sank into her stomach .

“ what does t’is –– . . . ” her voice cracked , and she cleared her throat , finally looking up from the phone screen , “ why , exactly , are you showing me this ? ”

sophie looked as though she was shocked by evan’s question , “ because i’ve dated musicians . . . and like HALF of those are in bex’s likes . which are public , by the way . just doesn’t seem subtle to me . ”

“ are you trying to insinuate something here , sophie ? ” her tone shifted , irritated as she handed the phone back .

“ like i said , i’ve dated guys in bands , too , and –– ”

“ enough , ” isla snapped , “ you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong . BOTH of you should be off doing your jobs right now , so , run along . ”

both of them scurried off without a word .

evan was still for a moment , but her fingertips were itching for the keyboard . she was no stranger to things like this , unkind words from strangers who didn’t LOVE the idea of her –– despite not knowing her . the good outweighed the bad on the internet , but the voices who didn’t like her were always the loudest . even BEFORE she and kieran had gone public with their relationship . . . even before they were ever in a relationship at all . over time , she’d learned to tune it out and focus on the kindness that flooded her comment sections and mentions . . . but every now and again something slipped through the cracks . . . and when they did , she absorbed them like a blow to the abdomen . they settled into her memory and cemented themselves there , tucked away until they found the perfect moment to make her self conscious . like the fan who had commented on the shape of her body before and after going to uni . . . and another from galway who made it their business to let everyone know she’d slept around while living there . . . and every time someone said she wasn’t good enough for kieran or any of them . that she had bad intentions , leeching onto the boys for fame . that her career was based SOLELY on the four of them .

if she caved and kept scrolling , she’d commit it all to memory . . . everything that made her intuition about bex STRONGER .

instead , she launched forward and snatched the rubik’s cube back up , immediately distorting its perfect faces and mixing it up again . it was good to keep your hands busy , she knew , when your mind began to run away .

the worst of it wasn’t even TRULY comments about their relationship . . . those hurt , but they didn’t sting quite as bad as real - time updates about kieran and bex showing up or leaving venues together . she dulled the pain by reminding herself that THREE other boys were never too far behind . that kieran would never . . . COULD never . . .

but then again , there was the tweet that weighed heaviest in her mind . kieran walked out in the middle of an interview , and he hadn’t told her . something rattled him to the point of his version of an outburst , and he hadn’t told her . that seemed like something he would have told her . . . it seemed important enough , she thought to herself , right ? RIGHT ?

her throat felt tight , and she kept running the tweets she’d read over in her mind . there was a deep furrow in her brow as she looked down at her hands , still vehemently mixing up the toy . something felt off kilter . . . but she couldn’t pin down which hurt more : the slew of tweets from people pretending to know what went on in her relationship . . . or the thought of kieran doing something as rash as storming out of an interview –– and then not telling her .

“ i didn’t know about t’e interview bit , ” she said quietly , eyes still trained on the colorful cube . she was certain her face was the opposite , color drained .

“ evan –– . . . ”

“ it’s fine , ” she said firmly , “ it’s probably not true . just like t’e rest of it isn’t true . ”

her voice sounded distant . . . and she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince isla or HERSELF . clearing her throat again , she set the toy back down on her desk and scooted towards the computer .

“ i’ve got work to do , ” she said quietly , getting back to the monitor . though all she wanted to do was go home . how many more people thought that she wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for kieran ? how many people thought someone like bex was a better fit ? how long would it take for the suggestion to become potent enough to make the people who KNEW them question it as well ? and if kieran had walked out of an interview , WHY hadn’t he told her ?

she glanced down at her own phone screen , hoping that maybe she’d missed a text or a call . . . but all she got was nothing . nothing but the words she’d seen written down , now cemented in her mind : bex is simply so much better for him . . . because SHE was there , wrapped up in the same world he was in . she was accessible . immediate . beautiful .

and evan was stuck in london with nothing but time to wonder .

#idk what to taaaag it

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marveloussupernerd · 4 years

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Omgomgomg! Um since requests are open, would you mind terribly if I request a sequel to the Jumin Han having an affair with MC while being married to Sarah one shot you did? Like what if MC got pregnant, and delivered Jumin's first borb son? How would they deal with the illegitimate heir who Jumin loves?

mad woman pt 2 - Jumin Han

Happy Jumin angst day I guess. Y’all in the requests are merciless... this one isn’t rlly all that bad, I plan on making more parts obvi bc the poor kid isn’t even born yet haha I got carried away

Summary: Jumin had to marry Sarah to save his company, but made it very clear to her that his heart belonged to you, and he would continue seeing you. You weren’t aware there would be permanent effects. There will probably be more parts lmfao

This couldn’t be possible. But it was. You were five pregnancy tests in, from three different companies. They were all on the counter in a line, plus signs and the word “pregnant” on every single one. You cried out in pain, sweeping your hand across the counter and knocking them onto the floor. You collapsed with them, leaning against the bathroom wall. How did this happen? Why did this happen? What would you do? You were sobbing. How would you tell Jumin? There had been rumors about the two of you but a child, especially one out of wedlock? His reputation would be ruined.

You weren’t answering your calls. Jumin was worried. He knew you hadn’t been feeling well for the past few days. He thanked God you had given him a key to your apartment and unlocked the door, searching for you. He called out your name, only to receive no response. You weren’t in the kitchen, or on the couch napping, or in bed absorbed in a book as you typically were. He was surprised to find you in the bathroom, slumped against the wall and fast asleep.

The bathroom was a mess; you always kept things tidy, so he was surprised. You had heavy tear marks on your cheeks. What had made you so upset? And then he saw what exactly was littering the floor. Tissues and... positive pregnancy tests. They were everywhere. He felt his heart skip a beat. You were carrying his child? It was everything he could have hoped for. But clearly it wasn’t what you had hoped for; he could tell from the tears.

He started to clean up, collecting the tissues and throwing them in the trash, gathering the tests and setting them on the counter. Finally, he focused his attention to you. He kneeled down and picked you up carefully, arms wrapped around your shoulders and the crook of your knees.

You stirred from the sudden change in position. Your eyes were heavy and hard to open. “Jumin?” You asked. You were exhausted.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. He set you down gently on your bed and took a seat next to you. He didn’t speak.

Your memories came flooding back to you. It wasn’t a dream, huh? You started crying again. “Jumin I’m sorry. I don’t know what we’re going to do.” You couldn’t stop crying. The more you though about the situation the more hopeless you felt.

He put a hand on your knee gently. “It’s a horrible set of circumstances,” he confessed, his voice level as always, “but please, try not to be so upset.” He paused, looking up at you from under his lashes. “You’re really pregnant? With my child?” There was a flash of a smile on his face.

“Yes,” you replied, laughing a little, despite the fact that you were still crying.

“Well this is great news.”

“No it’s not. This is horrible news, Jumin. What about your company? Sure your father slept around but he never had a child out of wedlock.” The words were rushing out of your mouth. You finally had the chance to voice your thoughts and you couldn’t stop them.

“I’ve told you this before and I’ll tell you again. I don’t care about any of that,” he smiled again, scooting up the bed so he could sit next to you. He grabbed your hand.

“I won’t let you do this to yourself.” You felt nauseous. “I told you I’m not worth it.”

“And I’ve convinced you otherwise.” He stopped again. He looked thoughtful. “Unless... this isn’t what you want. Do you not want to have this child?” His eyes glistened, his face fell. “It is completely you’re decision. It’s your body after all.”

“No, of course I want to have the baby.” You leaned your head against his shoulder. “I just don’t know how we’ll do it. We can’t tell anyone.”

“You’re always so worried about me. What about you? I don’t want you to raise this child on your own. I want to be a father to them.” He spoke gently, stroking your hand with his thumb.

“But what about them? How do you want to handle it? People will find out. You need to tell Sarah. I know you don’t care for her too much, but you are married to her Jumin.”

He rolled his eyes. “This doesn’t concern her.”

“It absolutely does. If you thought you were distant around her before, just imagine. This baby would change everything.” You kept your voice steady. You didn’t want to argue with him, but you did want to remind him of what was important. “And everyone has been asking when the two of you will have a child, an heir to the company,” your voice this time was disapproving. It was awful in your opinion to set a path for the kid before they were even born. “How will she feel? What will the press do? It’s been almost a year since you’ve been married.” You sighed. “There are so many things to consider.”

“I am not sleeping with Sarah.” He shook his head. “I’ve never had the desire to. I don’t want to have a child with her. I don’t want my child to be like her... I want them to be like you.”

“This is not how it works, Jumin.”

“So what? I’ll tell the news you’re expecting. They’ll be all excited that some sort of an heir is on the way. They’ll be mad too, for Sarah’s sake. But it’ll be obvious that her and I’s relationship is only one of convenience. I’m tired of the charade anyways.”

“Jumin...” you started.

“I know. There’s a lot to think about. But do you think... maybe for tonight we can pretend there aren’t all of these problems? Maybe we could just focus on the fact that we’re going to be parents,” he asked. His eyes were hopeful and shiny. He was quite emotional today, not that you were one to talk.

You sighed, closing your eyes and trying to will all the negative thoughts out of your brain. Then you nodded. “Jumin, Honey. I have some news for you.”

“Wait are we starting this whole conversation over?” He blushed. “I just wanna make sure.”

You laughed out loud. “Yes. Now guess what the news is.”

His eyes were mischievous. He obviously knew what the news was but enjoyed playing along. “You got a kitten?”

“Nope. Try again?”

“You got a promotion.”

You clicked your tongue. “Wrong again. Wow, you’re bad at this game.”

“Forgive me, My Love. What’s the news?” He kissed your knuckles.

“We’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.” You giggled.

“Really?” He asked, a small smirk on his face.

“Mhm. I have five pregnancy tests to prove it.”

He tackled you into a hug, pushing you down further into the bed. He kissed your lips, then pulled himself down further to kiss your stomach. “This is the best news ever. I know I’ve said that before but it’s true. I couldn’t ask for better news.”

You giggled again, pulling him back up to you give him a better kiss. He cupped your face in his hand, resting his other hand on your stomach as though he’d be able to feel the baby (of course he couldn’t, you were pretty early on). It was cute though.

“I’m going to be the best father to them. I promise.” His eyes were more serious now. “I know you’re worried about everything, but I promise I’ll figure it out. I’ll protect you both and take care of you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you both happy and keep you safe.”

“I love you Jumin.” You smiled.

He plopped down onto the bed by your side, pulling you closer to him. “I love you too. Now what do you think about just cuddling and watching a movie today?”

“You’re such a softie, you know? I’d love that.”

#mystic messenger #mysme #folklore #mad woman #Jumin han

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bellamysgriffin · 3 years

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oscar best picture ranking

bc i like to pretend that ppl care about my opinions (some hot takes ahead so beware!!) also not that this is not necessarily my ranking based on the film’s quality/merit, but mostly on my personal enjoyment.

1. sound of metal

alright, this one jumped around in my rankings a lot before i finally settled on having it at the top. the best performance i saw all oscar season was delivered by riz ahmed. so much of the movie rests on his back but he killed it. the sound mixing is obviously incredible, but the movie’s merits extend far beyond its technical/acting feats. it’s an incredibly cerebral, intimate film about an extraordinary change in the protagonist’s life. it handles that change with such care and attention and love and fondness that it feels painfully real and authentic. i could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why i think it’s so spectacular, but take my word for it, this is worth a watch. (i also want to note olivia cooke’s incredible performance. there’s a scene with her in this movie that i have not stopped thinking about, and it’s one of my favorite scenes i’ve ever seen)

2. the trial of the chicago 7

i said there would be some hot takes! so, let’s get it out of the way: aaron sorkin wrote this, and he’s a great writer, and one who i particularly enjoy. he’s super witty and the dialogue is fast-paced and compelling and i think the screenplay is great. i think, if you view this movie through a political lens, you’re bound to find a lot to criticize -- i certainly don’t love every change they made. but i truly (controversially) think it wasn’t particularly politically motivated. it’s about a political event, so politics is bound to come into play, but i think the situation is inherently interesting. 7 people who all believe in the same thing but want to achieve it through very different methods forced to work together to save themselves? i’m on board. this also particularly resonated with me because i live in chicago and i am not immune to outrage porn. i also really loved the touch of incorporating found footage of the real event with their re-enactments and i think it should snag the oscar for best editing.

3. minari

i LOVE a good family drama, and this delivered on everything i like about good family dramas. the grandmother is as lovable as everyone hypes her up to be, and the kid actor does a great job (which i suspect has a lot to do with the directing). steven yeun is super sexy and talented, like we’ve all been saying. however!!! i think the mom did the best job, had the most interesting/difficult part to play, and the fact that that actress was not nominated for her role is a travesty.

4. promising young woman

this movie is SO divisive, but i really enjoyed it. without any spoilers, i understand some of the criticisms, again -- i don’t think this movie is trying to make any bold political or feminist statement. it obviously deals with feminism in a major way, but in general, i think it’s just an interesting character study. not to mention, a super glitzy aesthetic, a knockout performance from carey mulligan and the great inclusion of bo burnham as a romantic lead. please cast him in more rom coms, because i am in full support of that shit!

5. nomadland

for some reason, this didn’t do it for me as much as it did it for other people. i have no criticisms. i think it was lyrical and lovely, good for anyone who likes road movies. a really compelling performance from frances mcdormand who will likely take the oscar. this movie had great visuals and really intricate characters. it was about a subculture that i did not know much about, and it did a good job at getting me invested in how that works. it’s also an interesting look at aging and poverty. i think it’s got a great chance at best picture.

6. judas and the black messiah

SO GLAD to finally be living in the lakeith stanfield oscar nominee era!!! i was really excited to watch this just for him, because i really love him. this movie had a really great in-depth look at the black panther party, and i also want to shoutout daniel kaluuya who killed it as fred hampton. this is only so low on my list because it’s not really my kind of movie. personally, it was a little too violent for me at times, and that’s not usually my thing. however, i really liked ALL the movies this award season, (EXCEPT FOR ONE), so this being so low is truly just personal taste, but i did really enjoy watching this film.

7. the father

so olivia coleman killed it once again. i DID like this movie, let’s be clear on that. however, while anthony hopkins did a good job, i was also constantly aware that it was anthony hopkins. truly i think i would have enjoyed this movie much more had i watched it before i watched the documentary the mole agent. that was a chilean documentary nominated this year that deals with similar issues of aging and dementia, but because it’s a documentary it provides heartbreaking authenticity that the father, in some inherent way, lacks. i don’t actually see this as a huge criticism -- the father is a heavily stylized movie, and it’s trying to do something different. i think that’s fine, it’s got a very different goal than the mole agent. but because of how intimate and authentic the mole agent’s take on aging and dementia was, the father rang false for me in ways it might not have had i seen it first.

8. mank

the worst thing i can say about a movie is that it was boring. and this was very boring. gary oldman gave a very gary oldman performance. the women were the best thing about this film by far. it’s one of those movies in which hollywood is obsessed with itself and assumes the rest of the world is too. usually, it’s not. also, it’s constantly homaging movies from the forties, but their homages were cheesy at best and patronizing at worst. it’s a bad look when the movie clearly finds itself superior to the films that it’s trying to pay tribute to. sorry mank, but you can’t even kiss the floor the philadelphia story walks on.

#movies #oscars 2021 #oscars21 #mank #the father #judas and the black messiah #nomadland #promising young woman #minari #the trial of the chicago 7 #sound of metal

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swlbarnes · 6 years

Text

Kindred Spirits - Jack Kline x Reader

Summary: Why are you the only person that can see Jack’s wings?

Pairing: Jack Kline x Reader

Word count: 6k (i didn’t mean for it to happen but here we are)

Warnings: self doubt from both jack and reader, jack being a total sweetheart as always bc that’s totally a warning

A/N: soulmate AU with Jacky boy bc he has wings too and dangit he deserves the ever so lovely cliche “soulmates can see an angel’s wings” trope. Hopefully this can satisfy y’all’s needs for fluffy Jack content, even if I did make it a bit too long. I got excited.

Taking Jack in after everything was strange to say the least. The boy was always exceedingly kind to you and consistently tried his best to make everyone around him happy, yet opinions on him were quite divided in the bunker for quite a while. While you and Sam both held strong to the idea that he was inherently good despite his parentage, Dean couldn’t seem to shake his grudge against him. Every time the poor kid tried to do something for the team, Dean would always be prepared with a snarky remark.

Another thing about Jack’s presence in the bunker that had your mind twisted in confusion was the large pair of wings behind his back. You had never really seen an angel’s wings before, and from what you knew of angel lore, no one but other angels really could see them. Cas has tried to explain it to you one night as you sat side by side in the library of the bunker, but he tended to use references to sciences that humans had no grasp of yet, making the whole thing a bit pointless, really. Needless to say, it was a pretty big shock when you took in the sight of the young nephilim’s wings. Was this because he was a nephilim? Do nephilims usually have their wings out and visible? You wanted nothing more than to come forward to the boys with all of your questions, but something about it felt… wrong. Surely if it was polite to ask about an angel’s wings, then they would have mentioned them already. Perhaps it was even dangerous to ask, seeing as Dean had no intentions of remaining civil with the boy, and he, too, remained silent on the matter. Besides, they were the ones that knew more about nephilims. Maybe it was best to just follow their lead.

It just didn’t add up. How were you the only one to notice them? His wings were massive. Jack was by no means a small man, but something about the vast size of his wingspan made his body seem minuscule. The grand appendages arched upwards from his back, looming above his head and shoulders before reaching out a few feet on either side of his body. Most of the feathers adorning them were a glimmering white that seemed to reflect back every color of the rainbow when hit perfectly with the light. Towards the bottom of each wing were a few rows of pure golden feathers. They each ended in a sharp point, the metallic fluff gleaming in a way that no earthly creature could. Everything about his wings gave off such a purely celestial energy, and to be honest, just looking at them made you feel utterly sinful.

You really did try your best to keep quiet about the whole thing. You promise you did. Sometimes you just… can’t do that, though. You cared about Jack incredibly deeply, and that was the exact reason that you had to speak up.

“I’m just saying, Dean, we can’t leave him here alone. Who knows who could come for him here? He’s not ready to defend himself alone. Plus, we need all hands on deck with this case. We should bring Jack with us,” Sam insisted from his place behind his laptop at one of the library tables. You raised a brow, peering over the research book in your lap. You were reclined in one of the plush armchairs off to the side, while Dean and Jack sat with Sam, one in front of him, and one by his side, respectively.

Dean rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest for what you could only assume was dramatic effect. “It’s too dangerous, the kid stays here. (Y/N) can look after him, we’ll do the hunt just the two of us.” His tone left no room to argue, yet Sam still managed to worm his way in for a rebuttal.

“Seriously?” The younger brother groaned incredulously. “We have no idea what this thing is, and you want to go in without backup? Look, whatever this is, it’s nothing we’ve faced before. Four men, all drained of blood by five crescent shaped puncture wounds to the neck. Not a bite mark, not a normal stab wound, nothing like that. We have nothing to go off of, and we need extra help. I’m just saying, Jack would be an asset.”

Dean opened his mouth, ready to retort, but you were quicker to the punch. “Jack can’t go, though,” you stated matter of factly. The room fell silent, and after a moment, you risked a look up to meet the three pairs of eyes looking your way. Dean appeared to be smug, as he usually was when you took his side in arguments. Sam’s jaw hung slightly ajar in shock at your claim. But Jack’s was the worst. Not only did his facial expression convey his deep betrayal, but his naturally shining, vibrant, proud wings hung low and dragged on the floor, the feathers dulled significantly. He looked broken. You immediately averted your gaze, unable to meet his eyes knowing you were the cause of that reaction.

“What? Are you seriously taking his side in this? After all your serious sit downs you’ve had telling him that Jack is a useful addition to the team, all those times you’ve given Jack pep talks, all that, yadda yadda yadda, was that all just fake?” Sam spat. His hazel eyes burned holes in your head. His jaw was clenched in an attempt to bite back on any words he might regret later.

Your eyes grew wide at the sudden fury radiating off the younger Winchester, but what shocked you even more were his words. How dare he say that? How dare he, in front of Jack, insinuate that you didn’t care about the nephilim’s well-being? You had been nothing but kind to him since he arrived, and you were forever grateful to have him around. But how could Sam not see the issue in all of this? “What are you talking about, Sam? Of course I believe all of that! I think Jack is a gift to this team and you know it, so don’t you dare suggest otherwise, especially in front of him. I care about Jack just like you do. I’d put my life on the line for him time and time again, and I think he’s one of the kindest, most genuine people I’ve ever met. Don’t you dare tell him I don’t,” you nearly growled out in reply. Your eyes were narrowed and you leaned forward to deliver him a glare of the same caliber.

Sam seemed taken aback by your comeback, but he refused to let you shock him into silence. “Oh really?” He scoffed. “Then what’s the problem, huh? Why can’t the kid come with us on this case? What could possibly be more important than keeping him safe with us?”

Finally, you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to care if it was rude anymore, you were doing this for Jack’s own good. “His WINGS!” You cried out, throwing your hands in the air in exasperation. “There, are you happy? I said it! Jack has wings! And I refuse to bring him somewhere that he can be captured by humans and treated like some kind of lab rat experiment!” You knew all too well how red your face was by this point. You could hear the blood pumping in your ears as you fought to catch your breath.

You waited for the gasps of disgust at your poor taste in words. You expected to be scolded within an inch of your life for having disrespected the signal of Jack’s power. You waited. Then you waited. Then you waited some more. And after waiting just a little more, you looked up to meet their expressions. They were far from the angry faces you had expected. Instead they just seemed… confused.

“Okay, now you lost me. What are you getting at here?” Dean questioned with furrowed brows. Your gaze darted back and forth between the three men expectantly, waiting for them to laugh and assure you that they were only joking, but they didn’t. Their faces held steady.

You felt much of your anger melting away into confusion. “I… what? Why are you guys so confused? I mean, he’s got… wings. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, I’m not saying they’re bad. I think they’re absolutely gorgeous and they look really soft and nice, but other people aren’t going to be so understanding and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if someone got to you, Jack,” You rambled on. Your nervousness quickly got the better of you under the nephilim’s watchful, curious gaze. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t attracted to the boy. It often made life in the bunker with him quite difficult, to say the least, what with his constant vibrant smile and carefree nature. After realizing you enjoyed binging on your favorite shows in your free time, he insisted on regularly sitting down together to watch whatever shows or movies you wanted him to see. He didn’t quite understand all of the concepts taking place in each of the plots, but he always tried his best, and he ALWAYS had your favorite snacks and enough blankets to last the winter. Little things like that were what made the hunting life more bearable, and most of those little things seemed to come from Lucifer’s son himself.

Sam looked to you, then to Jack, then back at you. “Are you saying that you… can see his wings?” He wondered aloud, gesturing towards Jack with one hand. You nodded slowly. This didn’t seem to be the answer he had expected, as he immediately asked again. “Like, right now? Right now you see wings… on him?” This time he added a second hand to the gesturing, clearly focusing the movements towards the boy’s torso. Jack shuffled a bit in his seat, but remained silent.

“Yes, Sam! Yes, I see Jack’s wings. Yes, I see them right now. They’re huge and white at the top and at the bottom some of the feathers are gold. One of them is tucked up to his back while the other is- oh, no, Jack! No, please don’t hide them away, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you!” You reached a hand out towards Jack in an attempt to comfort him, only to find that you were much too far away to do such a thing, especially since he had pulled the wing closest to you back in towards his back while you were speaking. His feathers ruffled a bit at your words, his eyes widening to match the subtle movement.

The nephilim turned his gaze to Dean before looking to Sam, clearly seeking an explanation. Each of the brothers could give him nothing but blank, questioning gazes. Dean leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table as he did so. “(Y/N), have you seen Jack’s wings the whole time we’ve known him?”

“Of course…”

“And you didn’t think to, oh I don’t know, freaking tell us about that?” His tone held an edge of anger that you were unsure how to process. The eldest Winchester seemed to snap at you far more often since Jack joined the team, and you were usually able to brush his words off and move on. This time, though, you weren’t sure if his annoyance was a result of Jack’s presence of your lack of action.

“I didn’t think anything of it! I thought everyone could see them!” You retorted, crossing your arms over your chest in a defensive manner. Dean’s body moved with his eyes as they rolled up to the ceiling and then back down to you once again.

“Seriously? You thought we wouldn’t mention that our new housemate has huge freaky wings growing out of his back? I can’t say that’s something I would usually overlook!”

A low groan passed through your lips at this. “Oh, really, Dean? I’m sorry that I didn’t find it odd enough to mention Jack’s wings. I was a little busy with my usual daily tasks, like trying to save your mother from another dimension and killing the last Prince of Hell! I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but Jack having wings is probably the least strange thing I’ve told you this week,” you growled out. After a beat of silence, you decided you couldn’t hold back your other grievance with his words. “And don’t call his wings ‘freaky,’ Dean. If you could see them you’d be singing Jack’s praises. They’re absolutely gorgeous, and guess what? You can’t argue, because apparently, I’m the only one of us humans that knows what they’re talking about!” With that, you sat back with a smug grin.

Dean, however, did not agree with your assumption that you won the argument. He gave a simple annoyed huff in response. “I still think you should’ve told us. Surely you didn’t think we were just ignoring them or whatever?”

You gave a vague shrug to this. “You two are the ones that did most of the research on nephilims, so I thought there might be some respect thing about mentioning them. I was just following your lead with this whole thing.”

Sam shook his head, deciding now would be the best time to interject before your voices began to rise once again in a resurrected argument. “Alright, let’s just forget the whole ‘you should’ve told us’ thing right now. What’s important is figuring out why you can see his wings. What does that even mean?” The taller of the brothers queried, his brows knitted together. Worry lines creased his forehead, much like the ones that made themselves visible on Jack and Dean.

You shrugged your shoulders once again in as nonchalant of a manner as you could. “Does it matter? It doesn’t really seem like a life threatening situation. It’s not a big deal, and we’ve got enough on our plates as it is, don’t you think?” You insisted. Your fingers tapped absentmindedly on the arm of the couch as the three men took a silent moment to think.

“I still don’t like it,” Dean muttered in annoyance, his gaze fixated on a minute pocket of air a few inches from his face.

“You don’t like much of anything nowadays,” was your comment in reply. This earned you a callous glare from the older hunter.

Sam let out a sigh as he leaned back in his chair. His arms stretched over his head, bent at the elbows so he could rub at his exhaustion ridden eyes. “I don’t know,” he spoke through a groan. “I don’t think it’s dangerous, but I’d still like to know why, you know? It might be important later on down the road.” You decided to drop the subject with a sigh, standing up to grab a new book of lore from a nearby shelf. Much to your satisfaction, they all seemed to follow suit, and the bunker library fell silent once more.

After that day, you began to notice the little things that started to change. You and Jack became closer than ever, the boy seeming to crave spending quality time with you whenever he could. Sometimes when night would fall and the nephilim’s demons continued to brawl inside his head, he would make his way into your room. It was easy to tell the difference between Jack’s footsteps approaching and either of the brothers. Dean’s steps were heavy and slightly uneven, and they echoed off the stone walls like a blaring police siren. Sam’s feet hit the ground with less force, but that didn’t make them any less noticeable. His boots still clacked noisily against the floors despite all of his efforts to remain quiet. Jack, however, was a whole different story. Jack’s bare feet shuffled almost silently up to your closed bedroom door on those nights. He wasn’t the biggest fan of shoes, and if he was allowed to go without them, then he would do so in a heartbeat. He would knock on your door, calling out that it was Jack, and asking if he could come in, just like you had taught him. Once he got your approval, he would step inside, closing the door behind him before diving into your bed and curling up next to you. Sometimes he would want to talk about it, other times he just remained silent. You trusted him to do what he felt he needed most, so you never pushed him. You just reached out and ran your fingers through his feathers until he drifted off to sleep at your side.

Sam continued to scour every piece of angel and nephilim lore he could find in an attempt to find an answer to your little winged mystery, but everything he read just came up empty. Most hunters didn’t even know angels existed, and most of the readings from nonhunters were just speculation. Even still, nothing he found could give him an answer. If the Men of Letters didn’t know about it, then he wasn’t sure how it settled with him.

It wasn’t until the brothers went out on their own hunt in Grand Junction that anything came of it all. In other words, it wasn’t until Castiel came back that you had any answers.

Your reunion with the seraph was tear filled to say the least. You remember clinging desperately to his form, your fingers curling into the familiar beige trenchcoat as if it might fade away any second, taking your dear friend with it. Jack was quick to show off his progress with his powers, much to your amusement. Your eyes couldn’t help but linger on the way his wings twitched in anticipation of his adoptive father’s reaction, and the smile that broke out on his face when Castiel praised him was enough to send your heart racing. Oh, you had surely fallen, and you had fallen hard.

Your mind hardly registered the complexity of your situation with Jack anymore at that point. You came to find that his wings were just as expressive as his face, and you were soon able to read the most minor of twitches and flutters with ease. This only served to bring you even closer to the man. It was that exact closeness that eventually led to Castiel’s discovery of your predicament.

You sat in one of the old wooden chairs in the library, Jack seated just to your left. The pair of you gazed listlessly at the dust ridden lore books splayed out on the table in front of you. Across the table sat the two older hunters and your angel companion, each one with their own piece of research material, whether it be in the form of a laptop or another one of the decrepit tomes stocked in the Men of Letters library.

The air of the bunker always seemed to carry a certain chill to it that never ceased to send chills up and down your frame. This night was surely no exception. You tugged desperately at the flannel covering your shoulders in an attempt to conserve some of your body heat, but your efforts were naught; the goosebumps along your arms remained undefeated.

Another all consuming shiver rattled your form before you decided to speak up. “Would it kill you boys to turn up the heating in this place?” You muttered in annoyance as you tugged your knees up towards your chest in order to keep warm. Dean peered up at you from over the top of his laptop screen, an amused grin tugging at his lips.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? A little chilly?” He mused. His tone was far from comforting, and the sound caused you to let out a huff of annoyance. “Why don’t you just go grab a jacket?”

You rolled your eyes in reply. “Because I’m inside at home and I shouldn’t have to wear fifty layers of clothing just to keep from freezing to death in the good year of 2019,” you insisted. You were on the verge of teeth chattering at this point, and therefore you made sure to speak through your teeth as if you were simply angry with the eldest Winchester - little did he know that you simply couldn’t talk any other way without sounding like a fool.

Sam let out a chuckle, only for the sound to be cut off with a cough as soon as your glare fell on him. His eyes focused back on the screen in front of him, his face wiped clean of his previous amusement. Good boy.

Jack turned to you with a look of concern etched into his features. “You’re cold?” He queried, his eyes scanning over the way your hands were rubbing relentlessly at your upper arms. You let out a hum and gave a quick nod of your head. At this reply, Jack wasted no time in unfurling his wings. The wing closest to you curled around just behind your back and around your shoulders. You were instantly encased in the warmth and the soft comfort of the nephilim’s wings. Your eyes fluttered closed, and for just a moment you allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of his fledging flight feathers brushing against your skin.

A low hum of approval passed through your lips, a sound your brain only partially recognized before it left you. Your body curled subconsciously into Jack’s little embrace. “That’s a lot better,” you murmured, your voice hardly a whisper in the still air of the bunker library. “Thank you, Jack.”

You opened your eyes to look at the man by your side, and you were pleased to see the bright smile on his face. You were quick to return his expression before turning back to your lore book to continue translating the old ancient Greek text. Your plan to continue on as normal didn’t last very long, however, as only moments later Castiel spoke up in the quiet atmosphere.

“(Y/N)...” He pressed, his tone insistent but maintaining a soft edge as not to frighten you. You looked up towards the angel to assure him that you were listening. He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter in his chair, if that was even possible for the eons old soldier anymore. “Do you… Do you happen to see Jack’s wings…?”

The question was a simple one. You’d been over this before. You’d talked through this with the boys already. Even after that first conversation, Dean insisted on asking you repeatedly for a few days afterwards just to try to catch you in some elaborate lie. There was nothing that should have made you pause about his line of questioning, but still, you found yourself hesitating at the sound of the query coming off of Castiel’s lips. This was an angel. He knows these things. This was different.

Your throat grew dry when sapphire blue eyes locked with your own. You did all you could to force down the rising lump in your throat, finally bringing yourself to squeak out a feeble, “yes…?” in response. You reached out and grabbed your beer bottle from the table, easily bringing it to your lips and taking a swig. Whether you were seeking out the dull buzz from the alcohol or the relief the liquid brought to your suddenly parched throat, you could never be sure.

This interaction didn’t go unnoticed by the taller of the two Winchesters. Sam’s head poked up from behind his laptop once again, his brows tugged together so much so that his forehead became littered with creased lines. “Cas? Do you know what that means? I’ve been scouring the lore night and day trying to find something, and I couldn’t find a single recorded instance of this,” he informed the angel, his voice dripping with concern.

Cas gave a dismissive shake of his head at the taller man’s efforts. “I wouldn’t expect it to be recorded anywhere. Soulmates are far too sacred for such things.” Castiel’s voice was always gruff, but there was something about this new information that sent his tones even deeper with thought.

Dean instantly began sputtering wildly at his friend’s simplistic statement. “You said the what now?” He cried out. The hunter’s eyes were saucers of emerald, glinting with the shock of what he just learned.

Cas finally broke from his reverie long enough to turn his eyes to the bewildered man to his right. His squinted gaze flickered to and from Dean’s expression. “I believe I spoke quite clearly. If (Y/N) is able to see Jack’s wings, then the only answer is that they are soulmates,” he clarified.

Your face was surely somewhere close to cherry red at that point, your jaw dropped open in utter shock. You couldn’t believe it. How could you believe such a thing? Jack was a creature that was truly one of a kind. Born of an archangel and a human and stronger than the devil himself, he was a symbol of hope for the future of humanity. You? You were just some poor sap that got roped into a life of nightmares and loss. The idea that he was meant to be with you so much so that the fates demanded it, it was dizzying.

Against all of your better judgment, you turned to spare a glance at the nephilim by your side. Much to your surprise, you didn’t find a fuming, disappointed hybrid, but a bubbly young man with a childlike excitement in his eyes. A broad smile adorned his lips and his chest puffed outwards with swelling pride. The wings on his back ruffled as they shifted to make themselves larger as well. The one wrapped around your form curled a bit tighter, pressing you closer to his chair.

“So,” Jack chirped, “does that mean that we’re meant to be together like Anakin and Padmé?”

You and Sam both visibly winced at the insinuation, but Castiel was the one to speak up. “Perhaps they aren’t the best idea of romance and healthy human relationships.”

Dean scoffed, snatching his beer from the table and tipping it back to take a swig. “Understatement of the century, man. He did kinda end up killing her when she was pregnant with their twins then spent his time undoing her life’s work to restore the democracy to the galaxy, but sure. Maybe they’re just a little iffy.”

Sam smirked and turned to Dean with his arms crossed over his chest. “I wasn’t aware you were well versed in Star Wars lore, Dean,” he teased, much to the older man’s annoyance.

“It’s Star Wars, man,” he muttered. “‘Course I’ve seen it. And the prequels were garbage.”

That was it, you had to speak up. “Guys!” You shouted, causing all four men to jump in their seats in fright. Their bewildered gazes landed on you. “Are you seriously talking about Star Wars when we just learned that Jack and I are soulmates? Can we please gain a little perspective!” You snapped. Jack’s wing pressed into your back in an attempt to comfort you, and to be honest, it did the job.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Sam muttered, turning to Cas once again. “So, what exactly does this whole thing mean?”

Cas leaned back in his chair. His hands clasped together in his lap. “It is really quite self explanatory. An angel’s wings can only be seen by other angels and, in very special cases, that angel’s intended soulmate.” A pleased smile stretched across his lips as his eyes flickered back and forth between you and Jack. “Not many angels have the fortune of getting a soulmate, so this is truly quite remarkable. I’m glad you two have found each other. You deserve all the comfort your bond brings.”

Though you remained rigid with shock, you couldn’t help the smile blooming on your face from the sentiment. Castiel might be a ferocious warrior trained and worked as a soldier for eons, but at the end of the day the seraph would always be a huge softie.

“So is this like, God hath come down and decreed that these two shall bang?” Dean asked as bluntly as possible. You were sure that by that point, all the blood in your body was circulating through only your face and cheeks.

“D-Dean!” You scolded him. Your voice raised an octave or two in your embarrassment. The older hunter cast you a simple wink.

Castiel shook his head, paying no mind to the awkward atmosphere you were radiating in reaction to Dean’s words. “I’m unsure how their bond was put in place. For other angels, God did hand pick the angels and their soulmate counterparts and set the bond himself, however that was millennia ago. There have been no new fledglings since then, and therefore, no more bonds to create. How this one was made is beyond me.” The answer was just enough to answer a few of their questions, only to leave them with a handful more that would surely remain a mystery.

A low groan escaped your lips as you settled your forehead on your knees, which were still tucked up against your chest. This was too much. This was way too much. You hadn’t even spilled your feelings about Jack and you were already going to be rejected, and by your soulmate no less. Jack surely saw you as just a friend, and as much as it hurt, you vowed to go forward however he wished. A moment or two passed in complete silence before anyone moved.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Sam announced. His chair legs squealed against the ground as he scooted away from the table to stand. The sound of Dean agreeing and standing up made itself prominent, followed by a quick whack!

“What?” Cas’s voice muttered in confusion. More silence, then, “Oh! Yes, yes I should leave as well. Very busy recently. Lots of things to get done. Being alive again is very time consuming. Good night everyone.” A tell tale flap of wings and a gust of wind strong enough to turn the pages of the book in front of you let you know that he had gone. Dean’s retreat to his bedroom was clear by the heavy footsteps overshadowing his faint muttering about Castiel’s cluelessness.

“(Y/N)?” Jack’s voice called softly from his place next to you. You let out a hum of acknowledgement, but refused to lift your head to meet his eyes. Apparently, this was not enough for the nephilim. He let out a sigh, and soon enough he had hooked his foot on the leg of your chair and dragged it over until it collided with his own with a clank! Even still, your head stayed down. “(Y/N) please look at me?”

“No thank you,” you muttered. Your voice was muffled through the denim of your jeans, but he understood you all the same.

Another sigh from the man. The wing on your back grew heavier against your shoulders, as though he was no longer making an effort to hold it up. “Is it really so bad that you have to be with me?”

Your body froze. His voice wavered with uncertainty and self doubt. That one question was enough to make your heart shatter in your chest. He sounded broken by his realization - no, his idea that you didn’t want him. He thought you were going to reject him.

Your resolve faded away in that moment, and you carefully lifted your head to meet his watery eyed gaze. His lip quivered slightly with his breathing, and it took everything in you not to hold him close and make sure he never has to suffer again. His hands were in his lap, fingers toying with the fuzzy material along the inside of his jacket. He always told you how much he loved the jacket because it was so soft. It comforted him when he got scared. He was seeking out that comfort. Because of you.

“Jack, no, that’s not what this is about at all,” you whispered, being sure to meet his gaze in an attempt to prove your truthfulness. “It’s not bad for me, Jack. Not at all. I just… I worry about how you feel about this whole situation. I’m not exactly the best option you could’ve had. You could’ve been soulmates with a nice, normal, everyday citizen with none of this emotional baggage coming along with them. Someone without a hero complex, or memories of Hell, or enough nightmares behind their eyelids to give Stephen King a run for his money. You could’ve had someone like that, but instead it’s just… me.” You fought to swallow the rising lump in your throat as you finished speaking.

“You… You aren’t ashamed of me?” Jack asked you in disbelief. The broken shards of your heart continued to crumble into dust. The absolute awe in his eyes over the simple fact that you weren’t ashamed to be his soulmate was devastating. He truly thought so little of himself already in his short life.

“Of course not, sweetheart,” you assured the nephilim. You dropped your feet back to the ground and reached towards him, resting your palm against his cheek. The tears he had built up along his bottom lid escaped their confines to trail down his cheeks. Your eyes followed the droplet as it made its way down along the curves of his face. Just before it reached his jawline, you raised your other hand up and swiped your thumb over the teardrop. Your finger followed the wet trail it left behind, wiping away the remnants until both palms were pressed against his cheeks. Your thumbs brushed carefully over his cheekbones as you cradled the man’s face in your hands.

“But I’m an abomination. I’m Lucifer’s son, I might be evil. I could hurt you. I could kill you!” He insisted, his eyes growing panicked with each passing second. You shook your head.

“You’re not evil, and you won’t hurt me. I trust you. And so what if the angels think you’re an abomination? They say the same thing about Sam, you know. Is Sam bad?” He shook his head slowly. “Exactly. Sometimes… Sometimes people are treated badly just because of who they are. It’s not right, and it’s not good, but it happens. That’s why we do our best to prove those people wrong. Okay? You’ve saved people, and you’re going to continue saving people, because that’s who you are. You’re good, Jack. You’re so good, and I wish I could get you to believe that yourself.”

Once again you found yourself staring back at a pair of red rimmed, tear brimming eyes. If you thought he was in awe before, then this was absolute disbelief. His mouth hung just slightly ajar as his eyes scanned your face for any signs that you were lying. A moment passed, and he must have been satisfied with his findings, because soon enough he was pulling you towards him and pressing his lips to yours. You leaned in to the kiss and your eyes fluttered shut. The taste of the soda he had off to the side still lingered on his lips, and all too soon you had to pull away.

Jack’s eyes were shining in the low light of the library. He pressed his forehead to yours, brushing his nose over yours in an affectionate manner. “I think I like kissing,” he commented in a soft tone.

A chuckle escaped you. “Feel free to do it anytime, then,” you welcomed with a dazed grin. Jack smiled before connecting your lips with his own once again. He pulled you flush against him, and soon enough you were encompassed in the soft warmth of a pair of large white and golden wings, encapsulating you two together and blocking out the rest of the world, because in the end, none of that really mattered. As long as you had Jack by your side, you knew you could get through anything.

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petersasteria · 4 years

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All I Ask of You (II) - Harry Holland

Pairing: Commoner!Harry x Princess!Reader

Requested? Nah

All I Ask of You (I)

Inspired by: Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber’s ‘All I Ask of You’

* * * *

"𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓼𝓪𝔂 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝓮 𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮, 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓕𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮"

Being a princess is quite boring despite of all the luxurious things. So, you were really happy when the king and queen, your parents, allowed you to explore your kingdom for a day as long as you had at least one guard with you and your personal maid, Henrietta.

"How does it feel to be free for a day, your highness?" Henrietta smiles at you. You smile back at her and say, "I feel elated, but I wish this would last forever. I don't want to be stuck in the castle. I want to be out here."

Henrietta nods, "I understand, but I'm afraid that won't happen. Let's enjoy the rest of the day, hmm?"

You give her a sad smile as you stroll through the small village in your kingdom. You were delighted to see everyone doing their usual tasks and you wanted to visit every single shop that you saw. After walking around the whole day, you wanted to buy a little snack on the way back. In perfect timing, you see a bakery straight ahead; one you have not visited yet.

Henrietta and the guard opted to wait for you outside the bakery. You enter the small bakery and smell the sweet aroma of bread and pastries. You look around and see two boys around your age. They haven't noticed you yet and it gives you the chance to look around.

"Harold, I thought I told you to clean the counter? It's covered in flour!" a voice says.

"I know, Samuel. I can see it's covered in flour, because I have eyes." another voice retorts.

"Why didn't y- Princess Y/N!"

Your gaze moves to the two boys and you smile at them. They both bow at you as a sign of respect and you curtsy.

"To what do we owe the pleasure, princess?" one of them asks.

"What are your names?" you ask. You didn't want to guess who was who. You were here to buy a snack not to play a guessing game.

"I'm Samuel and this is my twin brother Harold." Samuel smiles.

"Please, call me Harry. 'Harold' is far too long to say." Harry tells you.

Your heart skips a beat when Harry spoke to you, but you didn't pay attention to it. You cleared your throat, "I'm here to buy a snack before I head back to the castle. However, it's my first time in your bakery and I'm not quite sure what to buy. Would you mind helping me?"

They quickly nod and assist you in buying and before they knew it, you paid for the pastries and left.

"How jealous do you reckon Thomas and Patrick will be?" Samuel asks.

"Very jealous." Harry responds. "Let's tell them!"

You never went back to the bakery despite wanting to, so you had Henrietta deliver a letter to the bakery. You instructed her to personally give it to a boy named Harry. Henrietta goes to the bakery and walks to the counter to ask for Harry.

"I'm Harry. Is there anything you need help with madame?" Harry asks politely. Henrietta just smiles at him and hands him your handwritten letter. She leans in and whispers, "It's from the princess. She's expecting a letter from you."

Harry's eyes widen and he quickly gets a quill and a paper to write a letter for you. Satisfied with what he wrote, he hands in to Henrietta and she smiles at him once more, "Expect another letter." Henrietta leaves the bakery and Harry holds your letter to his chest.

"Who was that?" Thomas, his older brother, asks.

"No one. It's none of your business." Harry dismisses. Thomas shrugs and continues to sweep the floor.

From that moment on, you and Harry have been exchanging letters with the help of Henrietta. After months of writing back and forth, you've made up your mind that you wanted to be with Harry for the rest of your life; away from your lonely castle life. You knew that once your parents find out about Harry, they'll have him executed and you didn't want that, because you love Harry.

Love.

You've never loved anyone as much as you loved Harry. Your forbidden love made you want him more.

So one night when everyone was asleep, you escaped the place you once called home. After successfully escaping past the castle guards, you finally make it outside. You used the back gate to leave, because you knew no one pays attention to it. As soon as you get out, you locked the gate again and let out a sigh of relief.

You're free.

You smile to yourself and quickly run to the bakery that Harry's family owns. You arrive there an hour later and the only light there was by the counter area. You peak through the window and see Samuel. You take a deep breath and gently knock on the door.

The door slowly opens and Samuel's head peaks through the small gap and smiles at you, "Princess Y/N!"

"Shh! Keep it down. I don't want anyone to know I'm here. I escaped." you whisper yet your voice was full of excitement. Samuel smiles at you and opens the door wider for you to enter. After you enter he looks both ways, before closing and locking the door.

"Who's at the door, Samuel?" a woman's voice asks, sleepily.

You turn around and panic.

The woman rubs the sleep off her eyes and they widen when she sees you standing there. You give her a shy smile and wave as she bows, "Princess Y/N, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

"I pray that you won't tell anyone that I'm here. I escaped and I wish to be here with Harry." you confess.

"Y-You want to be with my son?" the woman asks in shock. You nod in confidence, "Yes. I love him and I want to be with him, but that can't happen if I'm still living in the castle."

The woman smiles at you and says, "Feel free to stay, then. Follow me and I'll lend you a change of clothes." You beam at follow her with Samuel trailing behind, a book in his hand as he turns off the light by the counter.

You've been living with Harry's family for a year now and at one point, your parents asked the guards to look for you. You presented yourself at the castle told them that you were stepping down from being a princess. They didn't like your decision and they disowned you and banned you from the castle.

"I'm so happy that I met you, my love." you tell Harry one night. He smiles at you and pulls you closer to him, "I'm happy tha-"

"No, let me finish." you say. Harry nods for you to continue.

"If I didn't meet you, I wouldn't be free and I wouldn't be happy. Harry, darling, you unknowingly led me from my solitude and I will be forever grateful. I love you."

Harry smiles, "I love you too. I promise you a lifetime full of love. Please trust me when I say that one day I'll take you away from here and start a new life with me. We could get married and have children and maybe start a different business. I want all that with you, darling."

"I trust you with everything in me, Harry."

You smile at each other and lean in for a loving kiss.

* * * *

Thank u to @myblueleatherbag for picking the lyrics

Tagging my mutuals: @fanficparker @sweetdespairbarnes @justasmisunderstoodasloki @tommysparker @lcvelyparkers + @lovingsiriusoswald (bc i told her abt this one)

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟

#harry holland #harry holland one shots #harry holland one shot #harry holland imagines #harry holland imagine #harry holland blurbs #harry holland blurb #harry holland fanfiction #harry holland fanfic #harry holland fic #harry holland x reader #harry holland x y/n

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

Note

Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (Matukawa’s hcs are below the cut - UPDATE TUMBLR IS NOT LETTING ME PUT THE CUT WHERE I WANT IT SO JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS IMPLIED/SLIGHT NSFW FOR THE LAST 2 CHARACTERS