#like fair

[mycurrentobsessionis]

How bad is it that Roach fucked my Newman over and I. Didn’t even question it. I was just like. It’s ok. Forgiven and forgotten. She tells me she “had a good reason” and I’m like, baby. I know this and I love you. I support women’s wrongs. Her reason could have sucked tbh and I would’ve be like 🤷🏻‍♀️ Welp I knew what I was getting into.

[clarkgriffon]

Zoey 102: Thoughts

I went into the Zoey 102 movie largely skeptical because the recent trend of tween show reboots has been... not great. Not bad, just mediocre. And yes, I am looking at you, iCarly. I think I'm probably going to be kind of unique in that Zoey 101 really was my show. Nothing to do with the cast or actors themselves, as I didn't care about that kind of stuff at a young age, but of the many Nick properties, Zoey always stayed my favorite, while I know that a lot of other people don't have as many fond memories of it as, say, iCarly or Victorious.

But honestly? This movie was above average. Did it reinvent the wheel? No. Was it tropey? Yeah. Was it a lot of what I expected the premise to be- Zoey and Chase are broken up but find their way back to each other with everyone else as sort of supporting characters? Yeah, it was that. But something that I think is really lacking in these reboots is usually a combination of acting chemistry and script itself. So, even if the plot comes in weak, which let's face it, a lot of these reboots are wont to do, Zoey pulled off the mild miracle of these characters seeming... real? The dialogue wasn't insanely stilted and cheesy. The chemistry between everyone was believable. Even the jokes landed! Todd, the fake boyfriend, I actually found hilarious. PCA closing down and being a money scheme followed by Stacey's "I have so much student debt" was actually funny. Chase and Todd had a homoerotic duet.

I genuinely think there are only three real gripes I have with this movie (for what it is): 1. Too Much plot 2. Zoey & Chase 3. Underutilized characters

Too Much Plot: The movie just tried to do a little too much with both Zoey working in production on a reality dating show and the fake dating plot, leaving both stories understewed. I loved Todd as a character and think the plot would've been benefited by only picking the fake boyfriend plot. While conceptually I love the idea of Zoey working on a Love Island ripoff, it just doesn't do much for the plot, which is meant to be both a nostalgia trip and romcom. Which brings us into...

Zoey and Chase: I don't think much build-up of the relationship is needed but the conflict and resolution within the movie was subpar; in the car scene, Zoey really just says "Whoops got cold feet" and Chase falls back into the torch he has for her. I don't need a masterpiece, but with the conflict setup (Zoey seriously hurting Chase right after they got together and Chase then ghosting her for literally over a decade for a mistake she made at 18), there needed to be better resolution.

You know, I wrote underutilized characters, I really think I just mean underutilized Michael. I loved Quinn and Logan's subplot that Logan does his richboy thing and wants a big wedding but Quinn feels out of place. Despite being minor characters, Mark and Stacey's murder podcast is cool and funny throughout (and again, could've been pulled off without the reality tv subplot) and their dynamic is really fun with Mark being a complete pushover and Stacey being overbearing, a lot like how Mark and Quinn were when they dated in Zoey 101. So yeah, I just mean Michael. He was there, he lost his voice and really didn't have much of note to do. It's not far off from the main show itself where they just never have much to do with Michael and that's pretty sad. Other than him, the PCA kids got as much screen time as I expected, which is to say, less than Zoey.

Other than those things, I really didn't have any problems with this movie. The jokes landed for me. I didn't mind how tropey it was. I thought it was honestly, a fun romp. Would I recommend it if you don't have Zoey nostalgia? Of course not! But this was far more digestible to me than any episode of the iCarly reboot. I'm kind of shocked to see it getting review bombed and I feel like it has more to do with the cast (*cough* Jamie Lynn *cough*) than the actual end product because... this movie wasn't bad? It was way better than I thought it was gonna be.

Also, the soundtrack kinda bangs.

[cicadaknight]

.

[cocajimmycola]

(Dreamy sigh.) thinking about youtubers life 2. worst game i;ve ever played /silly

[gleeandshame]

unsearchable on tumblr / google : good smart

but also a nightmare for messaging, sending posts, and for ur friends who remember something funny one time and want to see it again

[catostrophiclesbian]

My girlfriend has a very specific laugh she makes whenever she sees something cute. Kittens playing? Cute lil laugh. Adorable plushies being perfect? Cute lil laugh.

So when we were cuddling while watching ATLA, and I started to zone out, only to hear that laugh, I was confused.

Turns out, "girlfriend falling asleep on her chest" counts as incredibly cute, and I had in fact zoned Way more out than I thought dsbuifhdug

(in my defense, I'm gay and her arms are warm, how could I not go sleepy mode)

[babycaklings]

I'll always feel bad for Yuri Plisetsky. Imagine your idol abandons his promise to help you because he wants dick.

[terracottahearted]

My fwb says she hates gorillaz :(

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

[butchpoet]

I'm like if a chivalrous knight kissed a fair maiden's hand and said "my lady, I fight for you" and then walked off and immediately tripped over his own armor and fell on the ground

[hookahpop]

this girl started hitting on me at the bar except she called me a cougar, thought i was in my 30s, and said i looked like i had a mortgage

[daftmooncretin]

my absolute favourite thing about the kirk and spock dynamic is that the whole time you’re watching the show spock is gaslighting you into thinking that kirk is this loose canon and spock is paragon of logic keeping his captain on the straight and narrow when its very clearly the other way round. aside from being turned on by everyone and fighting like an old-timey boxer…. kirk is just like.. quite a logical, stable guy. like yeah he rules with his emotions but he’s rarely reckless or erratic, even in situations of immense pressure he’s always calm and measured. sure kirk is unhinged and insane, but we knew that right off the bat. spock on the other hand tries to hide how insanely balls to the walls crazy he is by standing next to jim and hiding all his derangement with logic. i think the reason bones beefs with spock so much because he is the only one who has noticed that spock is an absolutely unhinged individual. (jim is too busy doodling <3 mr jim spock <3 all over his briefings to notice)

[elucubrare]

i firmly hold that it's my duty as a reader to believe it when an author tells me at the beginning of the series that the dragons are gone forever and never coming back. but god it's a struggle sometimes.

[dykealloy]

what do you mean jennifer saunder's shrek 2 cover of Holding Out for a Hero didn't play over the entirety of dressrosa arc

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.