#like fuck u jesper *middle finger*

[angelsodreamy-no2]

"Kaz replied with a time-saving gesture that relied heavily on his middle finger and disappeared belowdecks."

sometimes when reading the books, after a very much... brutal scene, i am reminded that kaz brekker is literally my age.

[marsplastic13]

'Complicated' (part 13) - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names)

Genre: modern AU, slow burn

word count: 8k

notes: can't wait for your opinions on this

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram @syd649

@luffysprincess @cryptidghostgirl @beekeepingageissome

@hufflepuff-16 @lukepattersin

They heard the noise of a commotion, then Y/n’s piercing scream, “It’s at the old lighthouse, Kaz, please help me!”

The phone call ended abruptly, leaving a deafening silence in the car. 

Kaz stopped in the middle of the road, heart pounding, and made a dangerously illegal U-turn to head toward the lighthouse. 

"Who the fuck was that?" Jesper asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Her ex-boyfriend," Kaz replied tersely.

They arrived at the lighthouse in record time. Both retrieved two guns from a hidden compartment in the back of the car. “Take her out as soon as you can. I’ll handle him,” Kaz instructed, his voice a mix of resolve and anger.

The two made their way up the stairs quickly and quietly, the sound of Y/n’s desperate pleas growing louder. She was trying to buy time, Kaz realized. From the slightly opened door, he tried to assess the situation. Y/n was on the floor, holding her side, but she seemed conscious. Before he could take further action, a gunshot rang out, followed by Y/n's scream of pain.

“Let her go,” Kaz commanded coldly as he barged in. His eyes quickly scanned the place, locking onto Aleksander, who turned to face him with a wild expression. Y/n was clutching her arm, but otherwise appeared fine.

“And who are you? Another one of those idiots she’s got wrapped around her fingers?” Aleksander sneered, his gun still pointed at Y/n.

“Yeah, exactly. Lay the gun on the floor and step away from her,” Kaz demanded, his voice steely.

“I was like you once—madly in love, ready to do anything for her—and she fucking ruined me,” Aleksander spat, his eyes filled with a deranged fury, underlining each word with a wild movement of the gun.

Kaz took a cautious step forward, but Aleksander immediately redirected the gun back to Y/n. “Another step and I kill the bitch.”

“Alex, please,” Y/n’s voice was broken, filled with terror.

“Oh, you always liked to beg, didn’t you?” Aleksander mocked, his attention momentarily shifting back to Y/n. “Begging me to stop, begging me to love you. Pathetic.”

Y/n’s eyes were wide with fear and pain, and Kaz felt a surge of protective anger. “Let her go,” he commanded, trying to keep his voice steady, his eyes locked on Aleksander’s every move.

Aleksander sneered, his gaze flicking back to Kaz. “You think you’re her knight in shining armor? You’re just another fool she’s using. Just wait. She’ll get bored of you too. She’ll chew you up and spit you out, just like she did to me.”

Y/n’s eyes welled up with tears. “Kaz, he’s lying.”

Aleksander laughed, a harsh, bitter sound. “Oh, is that what she told you? That I’m the liar? That I’m the monster? You think you’re different? Special? You’re not. You’re just the next idiot in line.”

Kaz felt a surge of anger but kept his voice calm. “You’re the one pointing a gun to her. That’s all I need to know.”

Aleksander’s grip on the gun tightened. “You don’t get it, do you? She’s playing you. She played me, made me think I was her world, and then ripped it all away. She’ll do the same to you.”

Y/n’s voice was a desperate whisper. “Please,”

Aleksander’s smile was cruel. “Remember when you used to beg me to stop, Y/n? Those nights when you thought a few tears and a pleading look would make me change? You always were such a naive little thing.”

Kaz’s grip on his concealed weapon tightened. “Enough.”

Aleksander ignored him, his eyes boring into Y/n’s. “Do you remember how you used to cling to me, thinking I was your everything? And look at you now, clinging to him. You never change.”

Y/n flinched at his words, her face contorted in pain. “Kaz, don’t let him—”

Aleksander cut her off, his tone dripping with venom. “Don’t let me what? Tell the truth? You’re scared now, aren’t you? Just like you were then. Scared little Y/n, always needing someone to save her.”

Jesper seized the opportunity with pinpoint accuracy, firing a shot that whizzed past Aleksander’s temple, close enough to scare but not harm him. As Aleksander ducked and cursed, Jesper signaled for Y/n to move. She scrambled to her feet and rushed to Jesper, who guided her down to the car.

Left alone with Aleksander, Kaz’s lips curled into a dangerous smile. 

Kaz made his way back to the car, sliding into the seat next to Y/n, who was still trembling. Jesper was in the driver’s seat, the car already running.

“Kaz, what was that noise?” she asked, wide-eyed and hugging herself.

“Don’t worry, love. It’s over,” he said, gently circling her with his arms. He then turned to Jesper. “Call Rotty. We need plane tickets as soon as possible, dated a few hours ago.” He turned back to Y/n. “Do you have your ID, darling?”

She nodded, still confused. “It’s in my bag. Kaz, what is going on?”

Jesper was already on the phone, arranging things. “... Yes, plane tickets. One for Kaz, and I’m sending you the ID for the other now… a few hours ago, yes. And fake ones for as soon as you can. Kaz, place: hot or cold?”

“Cold. She’s injured. And there’s her car to move.”

“On it.”

“Kaz, talk to me,” she pleaded, her voice shaking. “What is going on? What have you done?”

Kaz brushed a stray hair away from her face. “Your ex-boyfriend just fell from the lighthouse. You don’t have an alibi, so I’m making us one. You have to trust me on this.”

Y/n looked too shocked to process what he was saying. Jesper drove quickly but carefully to Kaz’s house. Once inside, Jesper went straight for the computer to finalize the last things.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, alright?” Kaz supported Y/n into the bathroom, his grip firm yet gentle. Her gym clothes were stained and torn from the struggle, and he carefully helped her out of them, his eyes scanning her for any more injuries. The bullet had just grazed her arm, leaving a nasty cut but nothing too serious. He grabbed a first aid kit and quickly cleaned the wound, applying a bandage with the precision of someone who had done this many times before.

“You’re lucky,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. “It could have been much worse.”

Y/n nodded, her eyes glassy with shock and pain. Kaz reached for a washcloth, dampening it with warm water. He gently wiped away the smudged makeup and dirt from her face, his touch tender. She flinched slightly at first but then relaxed into his careful touch.

“Just take a shower. I’ll be right here,” Kaz said, his voice calming. He turned on the water, adjusting it to a comfortable temperature before helping her into the shower. He waited just outside, listening to the sound of the water and her quiet sobs mingling together.

When she emerged, wrapped in a towel and still trembling, Kaz was waiting with one of his shirts. He looked at her with a mixture of concern and determination. “I’ll get you to bed, alright?” he said, gently sliding the shirt over her head. 

As they left the bathroom, the front door opened, and Inej stepped in. “Guys, what happened to you? We were all waiting at the club-” Her voice trailed off as she took in the scene. Jesper was furiously typing and talking on two phones while Kaz was pale and supporting an injured Y/n who was wearing his clothes.

“Nej, what are you doing here?” he whispered, losing a few more shades of color.

“I wanted to surprise you for your birthday… What is going on? Why is she here and what happened to her?” Her voice was a mix of anger and concern.

Y/n looked at Kaz with wide eyes. “Nej, give me a second,” he said firmly, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down on him.

Kaz led her to the bedroom, where he carefully pulled back the covers and helped her into bed. He sat beside her, brushing a stray hair from her face. “Try to get some rest,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I’m scared, Kaz,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

“I know,” he replied, his voice steady. “But you’re safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mix of gratitude and fear. “What’s going to happen now?”

“We’ll leave for a few days,” Kaz said, his tone firm and reassuring. “We need to be out of sight until things calm down. I’ve got everything under control. Just try to sleep. I’ll handle everything. Our flight is probably around 5 a.m. We have a lot of time.”

“Kaz, I don’t understand,” she said, her voice breaking.

Kaz cupped her face, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’ll explain everything, love. You have to trust me.”

Y/n nodded weakly, her body finally starting to relax. Kaz watched her for a moment, making sure she was comfortable before turning to leave the room.

Back in the living room, Inej stood with her arms crossed, eyes blazing with anger and hurt. “Kaz, what the hell is going on?”

Kaz took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing thoughts. “It’s a long story, Nej. You should sit down.”

She looked at him, confusion and frustration evident in her eyes, but she slowly took a seat on the couch. Kaz began to explain everything that had transpired, from his relationship with Y/n to the events of the evening. He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully, knowing that each revelation would cut deeper.

As the story unfolded, Inej's eyes went wider and wider. She listened in stunned silence, absorbing every detail.

“You cheated on me, for months,” she finally said, her voice tinged with disbelief and pain. Kaz looked down, unable to meet her gaze. “That’s why I met her at the coffee shop nearby that day. She was coming here. I can’t believe you, Kaz. You, of all people.”

Kaz’s heart ached at her words. “Inej, I never wanted to hurt you.”

She shook her head, her expression a portrait of betrayal and sorrow. “You wanted to break up with me that day. You two were already together.”

“We are not together, Inej,” Kaz insisted, his voice tinged with desperation.

“Oh, sorry then,” Inej said bitterly, her sarcasm cutting deep. “I can’t believe that when I told you about my issues with sex, you ran straight to her.” She stood up, her body trembling with rage.

“Don’t raise your voice, Y/n is probably—”

“Oh, am I being fucking loud?” Inej snapped, her voice dripping with sarcasm and hurt. “And I shouldn’t wake the girl you’re having an affair with? While she sleeps in the bed I helped you choose?”

Kaz winced at her words, each one hitting him like a physical blow. “Inej, it’s not like that.”

“Not like that?” she repeated, her eyes flashing with fury. “Then what is it like, Kaz? Explain it to me, because from where I’m standing, it looks exactly like that. You lied to me. You cheated on me. You betrayed me.”

Kaz struggled to find the right words, feeling his own guilt and regret choking him. “It’s complicated. I never wanted this to happen.”

“Are you in love with her?” Inej’s eyes were filled with tears, her voice breaking as she asked the question.

Kaz thought about it, the truth weighing heavily on his heart. But Inej was still Inej, and he couldn’t keep lying to her. “Yes,” he admitted quietly.

“And you call this complicated?” Inej’s voice was incredulous. “Complicated is an understatement. You didn’t just cheat on me, you fell in love with her. All the while pretending with me, lying to my face every single day.”

“Inej, please—” Kaz began, but she cut him off again, her voice rising.

“Please what, Kaz? Please understand? Please forgive you? How could you do this to me? To us?” Her tears were falling freely now, her hands shaking with the intensity of her emotions.

Kaz leaned back, sighing heavily, feeling the weight of his actions crushing him. “I don’t want to minimize your anger, Nej, but her ex-boyfriend tried to kill her tonight. Stop screaming, please.”

“And I’m very sorry for that,” Inej said, her voice softer but still filled with anger. “But you, you are a cheating lying dirty bastard.”

“Inej, I’m sorry,” Kaz said, his own voice cracking with emotion. “I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Kaz,” she said, wiping her tears angrily. “You’ve destroyed everything. Everything we had, everything we built. Was she worth it? Was she worth throwing everything away?” 

Kaz closed his eyes, pain and regret seeping into every fiber of his being. “It’s not about worth. I didn’t plan this. I didn’t choose for it to happen.”

“I thought we would’ve gotten married, Kaz,” Inej said, her voice trembling. “I thought we had a future together. I thought you were the one.”

Kaz felt a lump form in his throat. He opened his eyes and looked at Inej, seeing the raw hurt and betrayal etched into her features. “Inej, I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to destroy what we had.”

“But you did,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You destroyed it all. You broke my heart, Kaz. How could you do this to me?”

Kaz took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to betray you. But things got complicated. I got caught up in something I didn’t fully understand.”

Inej shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “We could’ve had everything, Kaz. We could’ve had a life together. A future. But you threw it all away. For what?”

Kaz felt the weight of his actions crashing down on him. “I know I ruined everything. I know I hurt you in ways I can never make up for. But Inej, I still care about you. I still want to see you happy.”

“I wanted to marry you,” Inej said, her voice breaking. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But now…I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Kaz reached out, his hand trembling. “Inej, I’m still me. I made a terrible mistake, and I will regret hurting you for the rest of my life. But Y/n…she’s different. She’s good for me in ways I didn’t expect.”

Inej took a step back, her eyes filled with anguish. “So you don’t regret being with her? After everything?”

Kaz swallowed hard. “I regret hurting you. I regret the way things happened. But Y/n has brought something into my life that I didn’t know I needed. She’s helped me in ways I can’t explain. I didn’t plan for this, but I can’t deny that she’s been good for me.”

Inej looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes. “You’ve changed, Kaz. And not in the way I hoped. I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

Kaz met her gaze, seeing the hurt and betrayal reflected there. “Inej, I—”

“No, Kaz,” she interrupted, her voice cold. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m done.”

Inej turned and walked out, leaving Kaz standing in the living room, his heart shattered. The door closed behind her with a finality that echoed through the room, leaving Kaz to face the consequences of his actions. He sat down heavily on the couch, his mind a whirlwind of regret and sorrow. He had made his choices, and now he had to live with them.

“I’m sorry, man,” said Jesper weakly after witnessing the entire scene.

“Thanks, but I totally deserved it,” Kaz replied, his voice heavy with regret. “I should have done this weeks ago.”

“Yeah, you should have,” Jesper agreed. “Tickets are ready. I’ll come back around 4:30 with a car and her fake documents.”

“Thanks, Jes.”

Kaz went to his room, where Y/n was obviously still awake. “I’m sorry about Inej,” she whispered, her eyes reflecting both guilt and sadness.

“Thanks, love,” Kaz replied softly.

With a sigh, he opened the wardrobe and started packing a few things. Y/n watched him quietly, her mind racing with the events of the night. “I don’t have anything,” she observed, her voice small.

“We’ll buy something there. No one can see us now,” he said, his tone firm but reassuring.

“Alright,” she agreed, though the uncertainty lingered in her eyes.

Kaz turned to her, his expression softening. “Can I check your ribs?”

Y/n nodded, shifting against the headboard to make it easier for him. “It’s going to hurt,” he murmured before moving her shirt and gently touching her side. She hissed in pain, her face contorting with discomfort as he tried to assess the extent of the damage.

“Only one is broken, you should be fine in a few weeks,” Kaz said, his fingers lightly tracing the bruises forming on her skin.

Y/n nodded, adjusting herself against the pillows. “I still can’t believe this happened,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Kaz sat down beside her, taking her hand in his. “I know it’s a lot, but I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

She looked at him, her eyes searching his. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he replied, squeezing her hand gently. 

For a moment, they sat in silence, the weight of everything that had transpired pressing down on them. Kaz’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts—regret over Inej, worry for Y/n, and the urgent need to keep her safe.

They didn’t manage to get any sleep, and when Jesper arrived with the car, they were already waiting outside. Y/n wore Kaz's only hoodie, the hood pulled low to cover most of her face, while Kaz, leaving his cane behind, tried to mask his limp as best as he could. The drive to the airport was silent, the tension in the car palpable. They arrived just in time for the last call for their flight, minimizing the time spent in the waiting halls.

On the plane, Y/n nestled against Kaz, hiding her bruised face, and slept through the entire flight. When they landed, a car was waiting to take them to a nice apartment in the city center, a temporary refuge from the chaos they had left behind.

"Why don’t you sleep some more? I have a lot of things to do," Kaz said, already setting up his computer on the dining table. Y/n nodded, dragging herself to the bedroom.

Hours later, Y/n reappeared in the doorway. "You look better," Kaz commented, glancing up from his screen with a small smile.

"Who are you, Kaz?" she asked, hugging herself.

"I’m fixing this, Y/n. I’ll explain everything," he replied, his voice steady but soft.

"You killed him," she stated, her voice trembling.

"I did what I had to," he said, seeing the panic rising in her eyes. He got up and walked over to her, cupping her face in his hands, tilting her chin so she had to look at him. "I would never hurt you, Y/n. You have to believe me."

Y/n pressed her lips into a tight line, clearly conflicted. "Now go out," he instructed, sliding his card into her pocket. "First thing, buy some makeup and cover up your bruises. Then go around, buy whatever you want. I need a few hours alone. I don’t want you to hear some things, and I’m sure you want some time to yourself too."

Y/n nodded with a long sigh. "Are you scared I’ll go to the police and talk?" she asked, her eyes let all of her conflicted emotions transpire.

"No," he said without hesitation. "I know you won’t, but whatever happens, it’s better if you know as little as possible."

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "Okay," she said finally. She turned to leave but paused at the door. "Kaz?"

"Yes, love?"

"Be careful," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I will," he promised.

As she left, Kaz returned to his computer, his mind already racing with plans and contingencies. He had a lot of work to do to secure their safety, but he was determined to protect her at all costs. 

He worked tirelessly, making calls and sending messages, making people erase them and their cars from all the cameras that they might have encountered during the hours they were supposed to be already on the plane. He was methodical, his mind sharp and focused. But even as he worked, a part of him worried about Y/n, hoping she was safe and would return soon.

Hours passed, and Y/n finally returned, looking exhausted but more composed. "Feel better?" Kaz asked, looking up from his work.

"A bit," she admitted. "Did you get everything done?"

"Almost," he said, shutting his laptop. "We’ll be okay. Go change, we’re going out for dinner.”

Later, at a cozy restaurant, Y/n glanced at the menu, her frustration mounting. "I can’t even understand the fucking menu," she said, throwing it against the table in exasperation.

Kaz, unfazed, caught the attention of a nearby waiter and swiftly changed to the local language, ordering for both of them. Y/n watched him, a mix of awe and confusion in her eyes.

"Kaz, who the fuck are you? I knew your job was shady, but you killed someone and now we are in another country and-”

Kaz leaned back, his expression unreadable. "We’ll have to make it believable. Pictures, tickets for museums—"

The waiter interrupted, placing two large drinks in front of them. Y/n immediately chugged half of hers. "I’m scared of you," she admitted, her eyes locked onto his.

"I know how it looks, but you’re safe with me," Kaz said, his voice firm yet soothing.

"If you say so. Can you get me another one?" she replied, finishing the rest of her drink in one go. "Why do I always put myself in these situations?" she muttered, more to herself than to him.

Kaz signaled the waiter for another round, his eyes never leaving Y/n's. "You didn’t put yourself in this situation. I did. And I’ll get us out of it."

Y/n sighed, resting her head in her hands. "I just… I don’t know what to think anymore. Everything’s moving so fast."

Kaz leaned in, his voice low. "We need to establish our alibi. We’ll visit a few landmarks, take pictures, buy souvenirs. It has to look like we planned this. Jesper’s handling the logistics, but we need to be seen, leave a trail."

Y/n nodded slowly, absorbing the plan. "And after that?"

"The police will question you as soon as they can, so we won’t leave until you’re ready. We need to make sure everything looks airtight."

During dinner, Kaz began to ease her into the reality of his job. He spoke softly, explaining the various aspects of his life she had only glimpsed before.

"I handle a lot of things behind the scenes," he started, picking his words carefully. "We deal with information, leverage, sometimes money. It's not always clean, but it’s necessary."

Y/n listened intently, her eyes never leaving his. "And by 'necessary,' you mean...?"

"I mean that there are people who need protection, people who can’t protect themselves. We make sure they’re safe, that they have what they need. Sometimes it means stepping into dangerous territory."

"Like killing my ex-boyfriend?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Kaz’s grip on her hand tightened slightly. "It would, if I did that."

Y/n swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to their joined hands. "Right. It’s a lot to take in."

"I know it is," Kaz replied gently. "And I don’t expect you to be okay with it overnight. But I need you to understand why I do what I do."

She took a deep breath, looking back up at him. "I get it, Kaz. I do. I just... I need time to accept this."

"Take all the time you need," he assured her. 

As they left the restaurant, Kaz wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "Do you like this place?" he asked quietly, his voice filled with an uncharacteristic tenderness.

Y/n looked up at him, a small, hopeful smile playing on her lips. "Yeah, the city is beautiful… I never said thank you for saving me."

Kaz tightened his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. "You don't need to thank me, Y/n. I’m just glad you called me. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if something had happened to you."

Y/n’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. "But I do need to thank you. You didn’t have to come, to risk everything for me. But you did."

Kaz stopped walking and turned to face her, his expression earnest. "You matter to me, Y/n. More than you know. I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Y/n took a deep breath, searching for his eyes. "I was so fucking scared, Kaz. I have no idea where I found the courage to call you."

Kaz cupped her face in his hands, his touch gentle and reassuring. "I’m really glad you did. I mean, this is not exactly how I imagined our first trip together, but it’ll do."

She gave a small, shaky laugh, the tension easing slightly. "I'm sorry for the breakup too... I'm sorry you couldn't do it on your own terms and in your own time."

Kaz sighed, his thumbs gently stroking her cheeks. "I should have done it sooner. It was a bomb ready to explode, and I kept delaying it, thinking I could handle everything. But it wasn't fair to anyone—especially not to Inej."

Y/n leaned into his touch, her eyes closing for a moment as she absorbed his words. "I know you didn't want to hurt her. Or anyone."

He nodded, his own guilt and regret clear in his eyes. "I never wanted things to turn out this way. Inej deserved better than how I handled things. I was a coward, trying to keep everything balanced."

They settled into the unfamiliar bed as comfortably as Y/n's injuries allowed. Kaz scrolled through movie options while she made calls to reassure her roommates and grandma that she hadn't vanished into thin air.

“Yes, grandma, I'm with Kaz… Yes, I'll say hi… No, we are not eloping… No, we are not!” Y/n's cheeks were flushed, and Kaz couldn't help but snort at her side of the conversation.

“Grandma, I'm not pregnant… No, I'm not passing you to him… Why don't you believe me?” Y/n turned towards Kaz with a defeated look. “She wants to speak with you.”

Kaz sighed and took the phone. “Hello, Alice.”

“So? Are you eloping?” Alice's voice came through, bold and direct.

“Definitely not,” Kaz replied firmly.

“Are you sure? I'll convince her,” Alice continued.

Kaz glanced at Y/n, who mouthed 'friends'. “We are just friends,” he clarified aloud.

“Yeah sure, how do you feel about having children? Like right now.” Alice didn't hold back.

“Seems a bit soon,” Kaz snorted.

“I'm getting old, I want a niece or a nephew, more a niece if I have to choose,” Alice insisted.

“I don't think you and Y/n are on the same page about that,” Kaz said diplomatically.

“That's why I wanted to talk to you! Get to work, boy!” Alice's tone was playful but insistent.

Kaz nervously chuckled. “Alice, we're not even in a relationship.”

“Then explain why suddenly you hop on a plane and go to another country!” Alice pressed on.

“It was my birthday yesterday-” Kaz tried to explain.

“And what does your girlfriend think about this?” Alice questioned.

“We broke up,” Kaz admitted reluctantly.

“Oh, I'm sorry dear. You can cheer yourself up by making me a great grandmother. Bye,” Alice concluded abruptly.

Kaz stared at the phone, puzzled. “What's this thing with children?”

“She's going through a phase, it happens every time her birthday is near, ” Y/n shrugged. “And she thinks you have nice teeth.”

“And that makes me a wonderful candidate to have children with you?” Kaz raised an eyebrow, earning a playful kick from Y/n.

“She said I'm getting old and desperate and that I should settle for everything that comes my way,” Y/n laughed.

“Desperate, yes, I can see it,” Kaz replied, dodging another playful kick, “but old seems a bit much.”

“Thanks,” Y/n chuckled, settling back against the pillows.

“Is it weird? Knowing that you’re not together anymore?” Y/n’s voice broke through the silence, gentle yet probing

Kaz turned his attention back to her, his expression softening as he considered her question. “A lot,” he admitted quietly, his voice carrying the weight of years spent with Inej. “We’ve been through so much together, and I was so worried that she could leave me that I never contemplated the thought that I could leave her.”

Y/n listened intently, her eyes reflecting understanding rather than judgment. “You probably think it’s lame,” he chuckled, a hint of self-deprecation coloring his tone.

“No,” she replied softly, shaking her head. “It’s sweet. It shows how much you care about her, even if things didn’t work out.”

Kaz exhaled slowly, grateful for her empathy. “I suppose so.”

Silence settled between them again, neither rushing to fill it. Y/n shifted closer, her presence comforting in the midst of his thoughts. She reached out, her hand finding his and intertwining their fingers gently.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have something like that,” she confessed after a moment, her voice tinged with wistfulness.

Kaz felt a pang of empathy as he listened to her, the weight of her words resonating deeply with him. He squeezed her hand gently, offering silent support as she spoke.

“When I wanted it, it always ended up bad,” she said softly, a sad smile playing on her lips.

Kaz nodded slowly, his mind filling with thoughts of the hurtful words her ex had spat out, and the unseen scars she must have carried from past relationships. He understood now why she was hesitant, why she approached relationships with caution.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Kaz said sincerely, his voice laced with empathy. “No one deserves to be hurt like that.”

Y/n glanced at him, her expression portraying gratitude and vulnerability. “Thank you,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

He wanted to tell her again— that he wanted more from her, that he longed for a committed relationship where they could build something together. That he was sure that things would work. But at the same time, he hesitated. He didn't want to scare her away, didn't want to rush her into something she might not be ready for, especially given her past experiences.

Y/n's head nestled against his shoulder, her body fitting perfectly into the curve of his arm. He ran his fingers gently through her hair, savoring the comfort of their intimacy.

"Aren't you clingy today?" he teased lightly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Y/n hummed contentedly, her voice muffled against his chest. "How's your rib?" he asked, his concern evident despite the casual tone.

"Hurts like hell," Y/n admitted with a small wince, shifting carefully to find a more comfortable position. "I won't be able to have proper sex for Ghezen knows how long."

Kaz chuckled softly. "Always your first concern," he teased gently, his hand moving to rest on her back in a soothing gesture.

"It's my job, love," Y/n replied with a half-smile.

Y/n nestled closer to Kaz, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek. “I’m falling asleep,” Kaz murmured, his voice drowsy and soft as he closed his eyes, resting his head gently on hers.

“Baby, it’s not even 10 pm,” she laughed, the sound light and soothing in the quiet room.

“I didn’t sleep all morning like you,” Kaz replied, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “And tomorrow, we have an entire city to visit.”

“Yeah? Are we going to be tourists?” she asked, a playful note in her voice.

“Of course,” he whispered, the weight of the past 24 hours starting to lift from his shoulders as sleep began to take over. The stress, the fear, and the tension were slowly fading away, replaced by a sense of calm and contentment.

Y/n sighed contentedly, her fingers tracing light patterns on his chest. “I like the sound of that,” she said softly. 

Kaz hummed in agreement, his breathing evening out as he began to drift off. 

His breathing deepened, his body relaxing completely as he succumbed to the pull of sleep. “Goodnight, love,” he whispered. “Goodnight, Kaz,” she whispered back.

***

Turned out, they had really different visions of what being “tourists” meant. It was 7 am, and Kaz was ready to go. “Y/n, wake up, come on.”

The girl replied with an annoyed hum, “What?”

“It’s 7 am,” he urged.

“Is the police here?” she asked into the pillow.

“No.”

“What do you want from me then?”

“We said we’d visit the city. I made a plan,” Kaz explained with a determined tone.

“Of course you did,” Y/n opened one eye to look at him, the early morning light filtering into the room. “Come back to sleep, come on.”

“But if we get out early, we won’t have to make too many queues,” he insisted, sounding almost excited about his meticulously crafted itinerary.

Y/n rolled onto her back, sighing heavily, “How many points does your plan have?”

“Twenty,” he replied, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“What?” she exclaimed, half-laughing, half-despairing at his dedication. 

“I’ll walk you through it while you make breakfast,” he said, undeterred.

“Oh, now I have to make breakfast too,” she said, raising herself onto her elbows, wincing slightly as her ribs protested the movement.

“I ordered groceries,” Kaz said, trying to sound helpful.

“You could have ordered breakfast,” she pointed out, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Kaz paused, lost in thought. “Yeah, I should’ve done that,” he admitted.

Y/n chuckled softly, shaking her head. “Unbelievable,” she said, her tone affectionate despite her exasperation. She slowly swung her legs out of bed, stretching cautiously to avoid aggravating her injuries. “Alright, let’s see this plan of yours. What’s the first stop?” she asked, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

Kaz followed her, a pleased smile on his face. “Buying a cane and a pair of glasses.”

“That sounds really reasonable,” Y/n commented, focusing on making coffee and breakfast. “Is any of your points about sitting in bars, doing shopping…?”

“No, not for the next two days,” Kaz checked his phone to be sure. “Yeah, Tuesday you have a free hour.”

Y/n turned to look at him with wide eyes, sliding a plate toward him. 

Kaz ignored her shocked expression, focused on eating. “Move in with me.”

“You just want someone to fuck you every night and make you breakfast every morning,” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Why do you always have to be so vulgar?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“It is,” he admitted with his mouth half full.

“That’s not even a girlfriend thing, Kaz,  you’re going directly for wife-level requests,” Y/n retorted, shaking her head in mock disbelief.

Kaz chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Well, why settle for less when I can aim high?”

She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you like it,” he shot back, his grin widening.

“Debatable,” she quipped, pouring coffee into two mugs. “I mean, what’s in it for me?”

“Well, besides the obvious,” Kaz said, giving her a playful wink, “you get the pleasure of my company every day.”

“Oh, joy,” she replied sarcastically, handing him a mug. “Just what I always wanted.”

Kaz took a sip of his coffee, savoring the warmth. “See? I knew you’d come around.”

“Don’t get too cocky,” Y/n warned, poking him in the chest. “I haven’t said yes.”

“Yet,” he added, raising an eyebrow.

Y/n laughed, shaking her head. “Is this your new approach? Tormenting me until I give in?”

“Yep,” Kaz replied with a grin. “Persistence pays off.”

“Oh baby, good luck with that,” y/n leaned to kiss his temple while passing him, “we’re not even dating.” She whispered in his ear before heading to the bathroom.

His gaze followed her around the house, his mind racing. ‘For now,’ he thought, letting a grin spread across his face. He took another bite of his breakfast, savoring the moment. 

Kaz perfectly knew that for most of it they were playing with each other, but the heaviness of all the mistakes he made with Inej were pressing down on him. With her, he wanted to get things right, never make something too soon or too late, too afraid of screwing up. But where did it all lead to? The biggest screw-up ever done. So he kept asking himself why not? Why not make an even bigger mess and see where that brought him and Y/n?

Why not move in together, perfectly aware that it was too soon? In his eyes, the concepts of messy and fun were dangerously blurring together. And then, she told him she loved him, he definitely did not forget that. Might have been really a slip-up, yes, or something totally meaningless, he witnessed firsthand Y/n telling a waiter she loved him, but still, it happened, and he was going to cling to that a bit.

Kaz's thoughts churned as he watched her move around the house. She was wearing her bright new lingerie, the smooth fabric contrasting sharply with the angry bruise on her side. Her hair was a mess of waves, still tousled from sleep, and the sight of her like this, so natural and unguarded, made something in his chest tighten. There was a grace to her movements, even in the midst of her casual morning routine. Each step she took, every small gesture, seemed to echo in the silence of the room, drawing his attention and holding it captive.

She turned towards him, catching him staring. A small, teasing smile played on her lips. “Enjoying the view?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kaz smirked, pushing off the doorframe and walking over to her. “Always,” he replied, his voice low and sincere.

He watched her as she moved, captivated by the way the morning light caressed her skin, highlighting the curve of her waist and the gentle sway of her hips. He found himself mesmerized by the way the fabric moved with her, the way her muscles flexed and relaxed with each step. There was something incredibly alluring about her in this state—unfiltered, raw, and absolutely stunning.

“Is there something on your mind?” she asked, her tone playful yet curious.

Kaz shook his head slightly, a small smile playing on his lips. “Just appreciating the morning,” he said, his eyes never leaving her.

She laughed softly, the sound like music to his ears. “Sure you are,” she teased, turning back to her tasks. Her laughter was infectious, filling the room with a warmth that made his heart swell. As she moved, her fingers lightly traced the countertop, a gesture that seemed almost absentminded yet was so characteristically her.

“You know, if it wasn’t for my broken rib, I wouldn’t have let you leave the bed,” she added with a playful smirk, casting a glance over her shoulder at him.

Kaz sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes with a smile. “What about my plan?”

She turned fully to face him, leaning against the counter with a sparkle in her eye. “Oh, I would have made a detailed twenty-points-plan,” she laughed, her voice filled with genuine amusement. He chuckled softly, shaking his head at her playful persistence. “Is that so? And what would this plan entail?”

She took a deliberate step closer, her movements fluid and purposeful, closing the distance between them with a teasing glint in her eye. “Well, for starters, it would involve a lot more staying in bed,” she teased, her voice laced with a hint of seduction. Her eyes sparkled as she continued, “Maybe on the couch, and I’m sure there’s at least one point about the kitchen table.”

Kaz raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. “Is that right?”

“Oh, definitely,” she nodded confidently, her gaze growing more intense as she reached for his belt.

“We have to get going, get dressed,” Kaz interjected suddenly, pressing a quick kiss on her forehead before gently moving away. He could feel the warmth of her proximity, making it challenging to think straight. His retreat was as much a practical necessity as it was an attempt to maintain focus on their plans for the day.

Y/n sighed in mock defeat, rolling her eyes playfully. “Fine,” she replied, though a hint of disappointment lingered in her voice.

Despite the playful banter, he knew there was a deeper undercurrent to their relationship. They were teetering on the edge of something significant, something that could either be incredibly rewarding or disastrously painful. But he was ready to take the risk. He had spent too much of his life carefully calculating every move, and for once, he wanted to let go of that control, to embrace the chaos and see where it led them.

***

“Come on, let’s take at least one picture together,” Y/n pleaded for what felt like the millionth time in the last days, her voice tinged with playful persistence.

“No,” Kaz replied, his tone firm yet slightly weary.

“But you said we had to!” she insisted, holding up her phone.

“I don’t like taking pictures,” Kaz muttered, feeling immensely self-conscious under her gaze.

“No one is going to see it, just maybe the police,” she coaxed, trying to reassure him.

“I don’t know what to do in pictures,” he admitted, avoiding her gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Smile,” she shrugged, her lips curling into a gentle smile as she adjusted the phone.

“I don’t smile,” he grumbled.

“You smile, a lot,” she countered, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Kaz sighed, glancing at her phone with an annoyed expression. Just as she aimed to take a selfie, a notification popped up on her screen. ‘When are you coming back? I miss you already’ from someone labeled ‘Cute guy tennis.’ Kaz didn’t miss the message, his jaw tightening slightly. Y/n quickly swiped the notification away, focusing back on the task of taking the picture.

“Still with the tennis guy?” he asked bitterly.

“Apparently,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “we look cute in this one.” She showed him a picture where she was beaming at the camera while he was side-eyeing her with a smirk. Kaz cursed himself internally; did he really go around making that stupid face while looking at her?

“It’s not bad,” he commented, trying to sound indifferent. Another message popped up: ‘We have so many lessons to catch up’

Kaz couldn't help but let the bitterness seep into his voice as he asked, “So, he’s a tennis instructor?”

“Yes, Kaz,” Y/n replied, her tone clipped and clearly annoyed by his persistence.

He glanced away, his words dripping with sarcasm. “Thought you preferred bigger wallets.”

She shot him a sharp look, her irritation evident. “Are you jealous or something? I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to date who I want,” she retorted, crossing her arms defensively. “And for your information, he owns the tennis club.”

Kaz raised an eyebrow, the sarcasm still lingering in his voice. “That’s more like you.”

Y/n’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He sighed, knowing he was treading on thin ice but unable to stop himself. “It means you always seem to go for the ones with status and money. It’s like you have a type.”

She bristled at his comment. “You don’t know anything about my type.”

Kaz met her gaze, his eyes hardening. “Maybe not, but I know enough to see a pattern.”

Y/n took a step closer, her voice rising. “You think you have me all figured out, don’t you? Well, newsflash, Kaz, you don’t.”

He stood his ground, his own frustration bubbling to the surface. “I just find it interesting that you always seem to end up with guys who can offer you something more than just a good time.”

She shook her head, disbelief and anger mingling in her expression. “You don’t get to judge me or my choices.”

Kaz felt a pang of guilt at her words but pushed it aside, his pride getting the better of him. “I’m not judging, just observing. You were dating Nikolai Lanstov, when? Like last week?”

Y/N scoffed, her eyes flashing with anger. “Kaz, it was never a secret that I dated multiple people at the same time and that I had no intention of stopping.”

Kaz sighed, rolling his eyes. “You’re single now, sleep around, date who you want,” she said, her annoyance evident in her tone.

He shook his head, frustration mounting. In what language did he have to explain to her that he didn’t want anyone else? “Sure, that’s what I’m going to do as soon as we’re home,” he said harshly, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Great,” she shot back, her voice cold.

“Good,” he replied, his own anger simmering just beneath the surface.

They stood there, the tension between them almost tangible. Kaz clenched his fists, trying to keep his emotions in check. He knew he had handled this all wrong, but he didn’t know how to fix it. The jealousy, the frustration, the fear of losing her—it all tangled together, clouding his judgment.

“How many points of your plan do we still have for today?” Y/N asked, still annoyed.

“Five.”

“Then let’s go, Brekker,” she said, taking his hand and leading the way. They kept strolling through parks and museums, their fight quickly forgotten.

“No, wait, don't look. This place is on tomorrow’s plan,” Kaz said seriously, checking his phone.

Y/N laughed at him, her annoyance fading. “Have you ever been relaxed for one moment in your life? Just change the plan.”

Kaz stopped in the middle of crossing the road, causing a small commotion. “You can't just ‘change the plan,’ Y/N.”

“Why not?”

“It shows that you never planned anything in your life.”

Y/N shook her head while people started to honk and yell for them to move. “I just let things happen. Just go with the flow.”

“I tell the flow where to go, so don’t look to your right, and let’s go,” he insisted, pulling her along.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Kaz, you’re the only person I know who can schedule spontaneity.”

“You should see my calendar. It’s got ‘spontaneous moments’ blocked out in 15-minute intervals.”

“Fine, Mr. Control Freak. Lead the way,” Y/N teased, finally relenting.

Kaz smirked. “That’s more like it. Now, let’s get back on track—literally and figuratively.”

As they continued walking, Kaz glanced at his phone. “Okay, we’ve got a 30-second window for a spontaneous laugh starting… now.”

Y/N burst out laughing. “What?”

“See? You’re laughing,” Kaz replied, a grin spreading across his face. He leaned in to kiss her, his lips brushing against hers softly.

“That wasn’t planned,” she smiled against his lips, feeling the warmth of his affection.

“You’ll never know,” he said as he took her hand and continued their itinerary.

[usmsgutterson]

could you maybe do something based off the song Dark Red by Steve Lacey with Kaz?

ill leave everything else up to what u feel like, and welcome back :))

Ya Sila- Kaz Brekker

Okay, this one got really bloody really quick, and I apologize in advance if any of the phrases in Romani or Russian are wrong! I googled the languages that the Suli and Ravkan languages were based on and then used google translate to go from english to romani or russian, so if they’re incorrect, that’s why!

Fic type- a safe middle ground between fluff and angst, more on the side of edgy probably

Warnings- mentions of murder, a lot of mention of greedy men, slightly graphic depictions of violence, mentions of the Menagerie and Pekka Rollins, this is unedited and the ending is rather rushed. 

From the moment you entered his life, Kaz knew he was fucked. You worked out of the Crow Club, as a musician that Inej had convinced Kaz to hire so as to keep losing gamblers spirits up at the tables. After a month, you had the crow and the cup on the inside of your forearm and it seemed like you had every single gambler wrapped around your finger, but Kaz knew you.

He knew you worked that way; you captured the attention of everyone in the room and you did so intentionally, your music just one asset that made you valuable to the team.

You were like Nina in that you had the gift of being able to flirt with anything that moved, a skill that you knew you had and used well. You could persuade just about anyone into anything; Kaz had once watched you cajole a skimming bet keeper into cutting off his own pinky in favor to Jesper and as a lesson to the bet keepers and the ones who ran the cards at the tables. 

"They'll break your heart, Kaz," Jespers tone carries warning as the pair head back toward the club, heist successful and information filling their pockets to the brims. "They do it just about every man that enters the Crow Club. They’ve lasted half a year here since Nina helped them perfect the art of flirting.” 

"They flirt so that they get their tips," Kaz said. "How do you think they can afford to live in the financial district?"

"So, what you're telling me is that they flirt the money out of elligible customers' pockets, and you're just... you're perfectly fine with that?"

"We all need to make a living, Jesper," Kaz tightened his hold on his cane as a cool breeze smacked him across the face. "If they want to flirt the money out of idiots who would've lost every game that they played, I'll allow them to be my guest in doing so. I'd rather have Y/N stealing money from the pigeons and using it to pay off their mortgage than the pigeons going into debt and returning each night to try to get their money back."

"I doubt you'd be saying the same if it were Nina," said Jesper. “She taught Y/N all her tricks.”

"I would be, perhaps," said Kaz. "She can kill me with a thought, Jesper. Y/N can't kill me at all." He was partly lying; your skills as an assassin were known to few, Kaz among them, but even if he wasn’t quicker, a smack with his cane could break bone. 

"If they tried, you'd let them." 

Kaz rolls his eyes, hating Jespers incredible observational skills for a split second.

"Perhaps I would," said Kaz. "It'd be a hell of a fight to witness, though."

"I'd pay to see it," Jesper mused. "A musician against a Barrel boss. Who'll win?" Kaz coughed out a laugh as they entered the club, the sound of your cello hitting their ears instantly.

—

"What is infinite, Y/N?" Nina asks as she passes you a whiskey. You're taking a five minute break, throat tired and hands achy.

"The universe and the greed of men," you answered. "Especially the greed of the gamblers this past week. How you’ve been able to put up with it is beyond me.” 

"This from the person who's so persuasive that they cajoled a bet keeper into cutting off his pinky."

"It was a favor for Jesper."

"A rather bloody favor, Y/N." You shrug, smirk playing at your lips as you take a sip of the whiskey. The burn is welcome, and you watch as Hannlen, one of the newer Dregs recruits skims on the profits, hastily stuffing what must be fifty kruge into his pockets whilst he thinks nobody is looking.

“Hannlen is skimming,” you noted. “He’s got a pinky cut off as is. I don’t think he’s learned his lesson.” You could play the cello, sure. You were good at the violin and most string instruments, but your musical talents weren’t why Inej had convinced Kaz to hire you.

Not entirely, anyway. 

Your keen observational skills, the talent that you had to see something even if it were behind you. You’d been trained as an assassin growing up, having fled the program at ten and finding yourself stuck in the Menagerie until you were fifteen. At eighteen, you were pretty decently off, you’d say. 

You worked with gangs but held no loyalty. You were paid to kill and you did, but you never once got the ink of the Black Tips or the Dime Lions. The Dregs were the first and only gang that you were truly loyal to, for the good wages, the good whiskey and the good company. Putting your skills as an assassin to work was something that happened only during missions or when skimming was caught at the tables, and even as such, you weren’t like most of the people in the Barrel.

Your bloodlust had only been slight, you rarely killed if there wasn’t a reason to do so. You’d been trained to do it, and you were used to it. Kaz offered payments for each drop of blood you had to shed, so you did it for the money. Money had been the only real reason you’d ever killed, and the loyalty you’d sworn to the Dregs was a first. You’d not sworn loyalty before then, only killed members in the Dime Lions that needed killing or members of the Black Tips who’d gone askew. 

“Kaz plans to deal with it tonight,” said Nina. “He’ll have eight fingers by the time that Kaz is done, or with luck, he’ll lose a hand.” You set your whiskey on the stool beside you, nodding as you grabbed your cello again.

You start playing as Kaz and Jesper enter the room, turning your focus off your cello to catch Kaz’s eye for a moment. You glance toward Hannlen and he gives you a nod, splitting from Jesper and heading toward Hannlens table.

“Consider it dealt with, babe,” Nina presses her cheek against yours as she stands. “Your boyfriend seems to have it handled.” You rolled your eyes but grinned, letting some of your focus turn to Nina.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you said. 

“Half the Barrel seems to think otherwise,” she said. “Use it. Being with Kaz for any reason gets you protection. Whether you love him or not, the people love you and with Kaz around, they’ll know to keep their distance.” 

“I can handle a few grubby handed idiots who think their money is worth more than a song.”

“I know that you can,” she said. “I’ve seen you cut fingernails off, Y/N, but even as such, you love Kaz and he loves you in his own way. You might still have to flirt to make the mortgage payments in time, but with Kaz around, you’re less likely to have to cut off more than the occasional pinky finger.” 

You rolled your eyes as she walked away, smile playing at the corners of your lips. 

You caught sight of Kaz exiting the backroom of the club with blood drying on his shirt and spattered over his face about two hours later. You finished the song you’d been playing and bowed as you stood, thanking the people for the tips they’d dropped into the plastic bowl you’d taken to using for them. 

You put your cello back into it’s case and wheeled it to the backroom, not even flinching at the sight Hannlen, pinky completely gone as his hand bleeds on the table.

“Help me, Y/N!” He begged. “Your boyfriends gone insane! Talk some sense into him!”

“You reap what you sew,” you said simply. “You’ll perfect your shuffle again, Hannlen. Try your hand at the Kaelish Prince, but if you skim there, the old kaelish fucker Pekka will cut both of your hands off.” 

He looks at you pleadingly, and all you can do is shrug. “Be glad that Kaz decided he was feeling merciful,” you said. “If it were me, I would’ve taken the rest of the fingers on your right hand and all but two of the fingers on your left.” 

“You’re insane,” 

“I’ve got some bloodlust issues,” you exaggerated as you shrugged. “When it comes to punishments for going against the rules of the club, I tend to think in extremes. It’s why Kaz and I work so well together.” You turn, giving Hannlen one last smirk before exiting.

“I have a job for you,” said Kaz. You grinned. 

“I play music for six hours and my night begins with a murder?” You asked. “How kind, Mr. Brekker.” 

“I aim to please,” Kaz said. The pair of you exited the club, beginning the walk through the Barrel and up to the East Stave. “Nina has a meeting with a client in the White Rose in thirty minutes. She spikes his adrenaline, you kill him, forty thousand kruge goes straight into your pocket.” 

“What’d he do to be worth so much?” 

“One too many visits to the Menagerie, several family members dying when he was ‘out of town on council business trips’ and a hundred thousand dollars in debt to the Dregs and the Crow Club,” Kaz said. “He has three hundred thousand in his bank account. Nina gets forty thousand, you get forty thousand and I get twenty thousand. He’ll die a man in debt but the money that we’ll steal from his bank accounts will go into business and payments for future jobs.” 

“And how, exactly, are you getting all of his money without it seeming suspicious to Kerch officials?” 

“His sole beneficiary is one Kaz Rietveld,” Kaz responded. You caught as he gripped his cane just a bit tighter, fought the urge to ask how his leg had been handling the cold. “The money goes to him, and by extension, it goes to us.”

“Perfect,” you said. “That’ll be the last of my mortgage payments.” Kaz nodded.

“Payments on your house should be covered by this mission, yes,” Kaz said. “After then, I won’t force you to stay with the Dregs.”

“I have the crow and the cup,” you said. You bent for a moment, plucking the knife you’d hidden there from your boot. “You might not force me to stay, but I’ve already chosen to.” 

“Wonderful,” said Kaz. You could’ve sworn you caught a grin on his face for a mere moment, but thought nothing of it as you looked at him and saw nothing there. “Who would get the pigeons to come to club with nothing but a smile if it weren’t for you, Y/N?”

“Nobody, perhaps,” you said with a shrug. “So long as I get to cut someone when they get too close, all else can remain as normal.”

“You’re going to stop running the gambling men out of money before they’ve even started down at the tables?” Kaz asked.

“With my mortgage paid off, I should be just as well using the wages I get from working at the club for groceries and other essentials,” you said. “I used to run the men out of their money to pay for things but I won’t need to do that anymore.” 

Your gift in the art of flirting had been a learnt skill, and you were thrilled at the prospect of having the opportunity to unlearn it. With your mortgage paid off, you could put your wages towards bills and food and an upgrade in terms of the weaponry you used. 

“But you’ll still find comfort behind a glass of whiskey?” Kaz asked. “With Nina at your side, shit talking one of the more terrible players?”

“She and Inej,” you said. “I’ve been friends with Inej since I was caught in the depths of the Menagerie. No way am I giving that up for a damn thing.” You flipped the knife you held in your palm.

You showed Kaz the handle, letting him read the Suli inscription on one side. “Eu sunt puterea,” Kaz says. “Suli.”

You gave a nod. “Inej says that it means ‘I am strength’. I’m not sure if it’s a  proverb, but if it is, it exists in Ravkan cultures as well.” You flipped the knife, showing Kaz the inscription in Ravkan. 

“Ya sila,” said Kaz. “Ravkan for the same thing.”

“Inej gave it to me the night you recruited her into the Dregs,” you said. “I’ve been training to become the person I became since I was five. She told me to take it as a reminder, to make sure that the assassin that boiled within my blood stayed as active as possible. Two months after, I’ve escaped the Menagerie and I’m being introduced to you after another six. .” It was weird to look back on how things were before you’d met Kaz. You hated to think of your time in the Menagerie, let alone talk about it, but as you walked to the White Rose, it almost felt easier to discuss it rather than not. 

“I’m sorry that it had to happen to you,” said Kaz. “The worst things tend to happen to the best people. Most of them turn into menaces.”

“Or assassins with bloodlust issues,” you mended. Kaz rolled his eyes as you approached the White Rose.

“All right,” said Kaz. “Nina should be waiting.”

“I’m thirty minutes off from never having to pay a mortgage bill again,” you said. “Saints, that feels wonderful.” 

“You might make frequent visitors of Inej and I,” said Kaz. “It’s a long walk, but a worth it one.”

“Thank you, love,” you say as the pair of you head to Ninas room. “I promise to stop being a flirt.” 

“You can flirt with the wall for all I care,” Kaz said. “But the moment that anybody thinks they get to take more than your wink and faux fancy-eyes, I intervene.”

“You end his life?”

“I happen to deem flirting with my investments a worthy cause for a kill.” 

“Quite the charmer, Mr. Brekker,” you said. “I didn’t think you knew that the first way to an assassins heart was to murder anyone who deemed themself worthy of anything more than a wink.” 

“I don’t know very many assassins,” Kaz said, knocking on the door once, twice, three times. “But I know you, Y/N, and that’s enough for me.” 

You know he doesn’t mean it as an insult so you don’t take it as one, grinning at Nina as she opens the door.

“Get this done with and give me the money I’m owed,” she said. “I’d much prefer if I could go to sleep before midnight, Kaz.”

“Evening to you too, Zenik,” he said. She rolled her eyes as she let the two of you in. You grasped your knife, glancing at the man in front of you, standing like he’s been stuck to the wall like a moth to a light. 

“This kill will be fun, at least,” you said. “His most frequent visits to the Menagerie were when I was fifteen, Kaz. You would’ve been about the same age, I think. How long has he been in debt with the Dregs?”

“Five years,” said Kaz. “You’re right, though. He was spotted going to the Menagerie every single weekend that year, even when the rest of the world was basking in a holiday.” 

“You know him?” Nina asks.

“Enough that this kill will bring me satisfaction in the knowledge that he’ll never head into the Menagerie again,” you said. “Say a prayer to whatever saints you believe in, Jakob.”

Kaz stood dutifully to your left, meeting Jakobs gaze and giving him an evil smirk. 

“You knew?” Nina asked. “You’ve known about him since...”

“I’ve known that he was visiting Y/N for three weeks,” said Kaz. “It took time to plan, Nina, and a revenge kill is a revenge kill, regardless of when it happens.”

“Ya sila,” you whispered. You took a step forward, killing him with the force of a blade to the jugular and again through the chest. The killing is swift, easy for the sake of it and so that clean up wouldn’t be too difficult when the Stadwatch found his body in the morning.

You, Nina, and Kaz headed back towards your place, and as Kaz caught sight of your eyes, glinting under the moonlight, he realized that you were all he truly needed. 

Only you darlin’, only you babe

[goldengoddess]

paper rings - jesper fahey

request: I had this idea and u dont have to write it. but IMAGiNE HOLDING HANDS WITH JESPER AND JESPER DOES THE LIL THUMB RUB THING AJWKSDF & omg but imagine playing with jesper’s rings so much that one day he gives u one!!

a/n: SHUT THE FUCK UP I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHH,,,, i decided to combine these bc yk JESPER HANDS 

warnings: none so much fluff and cuteness 

jesper fahey was a many of many talents and many loves. he could shoot a gun like any other. he could charm some poor sap off the street like it was no body’s business. he could annoy the hell out of kaz quicker and better than most people. but jesper didn’t exist without two things, his guns, and his rings. 

they were always on his long quick fingers, calling out for attention. somedays they were silver and other days they were gold. and on the days he was feeling especially bold, which for jesper was most days, it was a mix and match. and though his collection of rings was extensive, he had a favorite. 

a small thick band with small flowers engraved across it. jesper had his guns to fidget with but his favorite toy was this ring. it was a usual sight to see him twisting around the ring on his finger. 

you loved jesper’s hands. they were always gentle and fun. and they moved with as much energy as the rest of him. you loved letting him hold your fingers and play with them while he was distracted. you loved how holding hands with jesper had become second nature. 

and the same way he played with his own rings, you played with them as well. sometimes jokingly stealing them for a few seconds before slipping them back on his fingers. 

but you never kept them for too long. scared to come on to strong or make jesper believe you were suggesting something.

and though every fiber of your body, even the tips of your own fingers, knew that this was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with, you didn’t want to scare him off. 

but one day, as the two of you sat on the floor of the slat at midnight talking, you didn’t even have to ask for any ring. 

jesper was holding your hand the way he always is. his warm fingers wrapped around your own, like they were meant to be placed there. his thumb doing that little thing where it traces your skin. that absent minded gesture that filled your stomach with butterflies and more, while it was only second nature for jesper. 

it was your favorite thing about holding hands with him, and he knew that. 

you continued talking you started playing with his rings, not really paying attention to your actions. like his thumb gesture, it was habitual. his rings were pressing against your skin, cold and ever so present. 

you were telling him about the new waffle place that had opened up across the street when he slipped his hand out of yours abruptly. 

you stopped your rambling and looked down at your now separated hands before looking at him in the face. “is everything okay?” you wondered allowed, trying to recall if you had said anything wrong or offensive in the last five seconds. 

he shook his head but he wasn’t looking at you. instead he was paying a lot of attention to his hand and yours. his eyes flickered between his and yours. 

then slowly, he slipped his favorite and always present ring off of his finger. 

you furrowed your brows but stayed silent as he slowly picked up your left hand with his free one. 

and then he put his most prized ring, on your middle finger. 

the feeling of the metal on your skin made you let our a soft gasp.

jesper’s face looked like the face he has when he was being shot at. a wide grin and a bright aura. the same look he had when he was also shooting at those who shot at him. 

it was your favorite look. 

“what,” you started, “what is this for?”

jesper shrugged and slipped his hands into yours again, continuing his motion. he leaned his mouth closer to your ear and whispered, “not official or anything love. but this way you look pretty flipping people off and everyone knows you’re mine.”

he kissed your blushing cheek and then leaned back against the wall. 

“and, you can fidget with your own rings” he teased you. “now please, my love, continue talking,” he closed his eyes and leaned his head against yours, “i love your voice.”

you bit your lip to hold back your wide grin, and then continued with your story. and though you knew that this beautiful boy could give you paper rings while proposing to you and you would still say yes, every part of your body was buzzing and aware of the beautiful silver ring that sat perfectly on your finger. 

it was his. and it was yours. 

[pistolslinger]

tell me about all the pieces of jewellery he’d give each of the crows

inej gets a little floral ring that was his mother’s — it’s too small to fit on any of his fingers, so he usually wears it on a chain around his neck. he’s happy to part with one of his mother’s possessions here bc, inej IS family to him. he loves her like a sister, and hopes she remembers the family she’s made in ketterdam when she’s out with her crew & real family :( also like... he knows she loves flowers. here’s a flower that won’t die :(

nina gets a lucky penny necklace. it was a gift from colm, and i’m going to call it a kaelish tradition to gift jewellery to family members who are leaving, for luck. jesper’s always had this necklace but uhhhh. considering the pain nina has been thru & the things she will likely deal with in future, jesper thinks she deserves the luck more than he does. and yes, before u ask, he does use his powers to make the pretty shape in the middle :(

kaz gets a pair of cufflinks because doesn’t seem like a jewellery wearing kinda guy, but he DOES love him some suits so — he gets cufflinks jesper won playing russian (ravkan?) roulette. they’re a lil floral pattern bc he secretly wants kaz & inej to match, but also — they’re gold bc he is FORCING colour into brekker’s wardrobe whether he he likes it or not. also, if we want to talk symbolism: this is also jesper’s way of saying he’s going to be careful about gambling, what he gambles on, and when to stop. he played a risky game to win them, and they’re expensive as hell. giving them over to kaz feels safe.

matthias gets a little pan flute necklace colm carved for him when he was a little lad :( this isn’t something jesper wears, but kind of. keeps with his general possessions. he doesn’t play it, but it works a little like a dog whistle, and jesper would let matthias have it bc a) here u go dog boy, call forth all the dog friends u want! and b) matthias has fucking NOTHING left from his family. jesper is happy to share something made by a loving father with his friend who had to grow up without one.

WYLAN GETS AN ENGAGEMENT RING. when i find one nice enough i will link it / post it or something but please know that jesper buys and gifts wylan with so many random things over the course of their relationship — but he makes the engagement ring with his powers!!! he spends MONTHS making it and perfecting it and it’s the most important and daunting thing he has ever presented wylan with!!! 

[overcupofcoco]

kaz brekker as an adoptive father au though

• ok so yeah, the dregs might be the edgiest and mightiest but at some point jesper and wylan have kids, nina settles down and starts her own bakery and inej can’t live in ketterdam, she a different woman now

• kaz on the other hand, this bitch might be older but he’s just gettin started. 

•yeah he’s stolen from the Ravkan kingdom now, yeah he’s in a little shit with the Shu, oops are the Zemeni after him? he almost forgot. 

• anyway, he’s swaggering down in the barrel like usual one evening when he hears really loud screams from an alley

• usually he ignores because the bastard of the barrel ain't got time for pidgeon affairs, but for some reason this time he wants to take a look. he hasn’t had his Wraith in a while so he’s gotten used to being sneaky

•what he witnesses isn’t necessarily out of the usual; a woman at gunpoint holding a child. Pleads for mercy. Screams. An attempt to run away. A murder. Pillaging of the body. 

• He took note of the killers (u never know when you need the intel) when he realizes that the child is still screaming.

• he pauses

• what the fuck was he supposed do? Leave the kid baby? Give it to some woman to take care of? he knew the probability that she would sell the child out in slavery the moment it was old enough was basically 100%

• he remembered jordie and him, young and lost, orphaned in the streets. he remembered inej, basically enslaved by Tante Heleen

• before he knew it, he was walking towards the corpse, uncovering the baby that couldn’t older than three years, from under its dead mother’s long skirts. 

• it was a girl. dark skinned, tufts of curly hair, large grey eyes staring up at him in concern. 

• “god dammit” he muttered, wrapping the girl in his coat and bringing her to the slat. he would give the girl to Jesper and Wylan when they came back from their vacation in 3 weeks. in the meanwhile, he would somehow deal with her. 

• The girl was a clever one, silent and observing as he made their way to the Crows Club. She didn’t cry for her mother, perhaps because Kaz’s glare was too frightening, or perhaps because she simply wasn’t afraid at all. 

• He put her on the bed, looking at her with hard eyes. She stared back, tilting her head. “No talking.” he said promptly, “No moving.” 

• The first hour, he almost ripped his hair out. Drug dealers, mafia, merchants, gang members, he could easily deal with. But a curious child? 

• Somehow, she had managed to open a pen and scrawl all over his pillows.

• He didn’t bother to use any type of voice when he scolded. it was the same cold, flat voice he used during parleys. “No. Don’t do that. Don’t touch my pens,”

• she just frowned, tilting her head to the side. something dinged in Kaz’s heart and he didn’t like it.

•at some point, she figured out how to climb out of his bed and was now crawling around his room. he couldn’t focus-- so he resorted to observing, leaning back in his chair. 

• she had started silently babbling herself, fidgeting with papers on the ground, chair legs, discarded coins. 

• slowly he grew used to her static mumbling and managed to start paperwork again until--

• a weak tug on his pant leg. He flinches back, looking down sharply at the girl

• “my leg hurts”

• Kaz probably hadn’t been taken by surprise in years but those three words shocked him. she could talk?

• he looks at her silently, clenched her jaw. her eyes were a bright blue. Should he call a medik? Should he ignore her? he couldn’t have people knowing there was a child in his room or that he needed medik. It was a weakness.

• “Where?” same flat, uninterested voice.

• She struggled to lift her soiled pant leg to reveal a mildly bloodied gash across her calf. Kaz could tell it wasn’t deep. 

• “It hurts a lot, mister, help?”

• now imagine Kaz Brekker, after a long pause, picking up the girl from under her arms and bringing her to the bed. He spends half an hour cleaning and mending her leg as she sits quietly. 

• “is mama dead?”

• “yes. gone.”

• “are you going to kill me, mister?”

• pauses his work to look up at her. decidedly, she was full of surprises. 

• “not planning to,” he squinted at the tiny girl, “how old are you?”

• the girl cracked a smile and held up three fingers-- proud of herself. “I’m four in one months, mister!”

• “When did you learn how to speak?” 

• the girl looked bewildered... for the first time in the evening, fear was in her light eyes, “I don’t know, mister brekker”

• Kaz looked at her sharply. She recoiled in fear at his menacing glare. She must have known how to read, his name had been all over the papers she was fiddling with. 

• “You call me Kaz. Only Kaz. You stay in this room until I can find you some parents.”

• That first night, the girl slept in the bed. Kaz slept in his chair-- only to be woken up by a clang of rustling early the next morning. 

• reflexes kicked in and he grabbed his gun. 

• “i just wanted water, mister Kaz.” a high pitched voice said weakly as the girl’s head popped up from behind the desk. Her leg was clearly better, as she was standing up. 

• annoyed sigh from Kaz. He just picked up his cane and coat, having slept in his gloves, and just scowled at the girl. She looked at him, then proceeded to continue her attempts at reaching the tall glass of water on the desk-- failing miserably. 

• Kaz handed it to her and she gulped it all down. 

• Kaz left the entire day, running errands, checking on the crow club. He had left crackers and water for the girl, but in reality, he knew he was desperately trying to rid the child of his thoughts. 

• he was kaz brekker, for saints’ sake, and there was a talking toddler in his office? 

• he finally came back in his room late in the evening, expecting the child to be either somehow dead or asleep, but instead, he found her standing on his chair that she had pushed against the window ledge, looking outside and talking to herself. 

•Panick ran through him. What if people saw her? What if people thought he was holding children hostage? Worse, what if people thought he had a child? What if... she could fall over the ledge...

• “Get off the chair,” “I thought I had told you to stay hidden”

• “Sorry mister Kaz, I thought you had told me to stay in the room”

• did she just accidentally sass him? 

• the next day, she wasn’t perched over the window, but she was on his desk, grasping a pencil and struggling to manipulate the utensil in her tiny hand. her face was pure concentration.

• silently, Kaz walked up behind her, reading over her shoulder. Two days after having picked her up, he knew better than to just expect her to be scribbling gibberish. 

• Z U R i       zURi     fat circle for the dots above the i, uneven letters, but still writing.

• “this is my name! do you like it, mister Kaz?” Zuri. Hope in Zemeni. He realized he had never asked her name. She hadn’t seem bothered. “You said no touching the pen... this has no black stuff, so I used it! Look, mister Kaz! I made you a pretty picture!”

• She beamed, shoving another piece of paper in his face. It was messy, but Kaz could see the outline of a child with dark skin, a bigger person colored in crudely with black-- and was that a bird?

• “That’s me--- that’s you, Mister Kaz! Those lines are your eyebrows because you are always mad! and that's the nice bird that comes to the window sometimes!”

• It became routine. Kaz spent his day out, leaving Zuri in his room. He provided food, water, paper, pens and after the fourth day and massive amounts of begging in the middle of the night, a box of colored pencils.

• ( “Mister Kaz” *groan from Kaz* *Gentle tug on his pant leg* “Can I get color?” “What?” “Color for my drawings!”......... “Please?”...... “Fine. Go to bed. Time to sleep.”)

• Gradually, Kaz spent less time thinking he was insane for taking in a child, and more time observing the girl. she was sharp, learning quickly. She knew immediately that touching Kaz was a big no-no, apart from the spare pant leg tug. 

• Sometimes, she would ask Kaz for help. Give him her drawings. They were always of her and him and a crow, in different settings. In the beginning, he grudgingly agreed, only out of annoyance that she may start to cry. 

• (she had never cried in front of him, but he heard her gentle sniffles in the middle of the name and her whispers for her mother) (he tried to ignore her)

•anyway, as the days passed, he started really paying attention to her letters on the papers, giving her advice and examples. She improved fast. 

• Two weeks passed. It was raining outside. Kaz was working and Zuri was silently practicing her letters right under his desk.

• “Mister Kaz?” “Hmm?” “Why do you have the stick?” The cane. 

• He paused. “My leg is hurt.” “Like me?” “No.” “Why?” “Because mine is hurt forever.” pause “Why?”

• Zuri might have been a quiet girl, but Kaz knew that she grasped at any opportunity to ask questions. 

• “Enough questions.” 

• Silence. 

• “Mister Kaz?” she squeaked slowly. He exhaled. “What?”

• “Are you magical?” she peaked out from under the desk.

• “What?”

• “Sometimes you make things disappear from people. I see it.”

• Kaz put down his pen and rose an eyebrow, peering at her from his chair. Had she been getting out of the room? Of course, in the Crow Club, he picked different pockets or simply impressed the guests with sleight of hand-- but no one was supposed to notice that.

• “Did you go out of the room?”

• Immediately, she realized her mistake. She tucked her chin in her neck and looked down shamefully. “Nevermind.” She picked up the orange pencil.

• He almost laughed. He thought he would be mad at her for jeopardizing both her and him, but her worried little face was too cute-- what was he thinking? he shook away the thoughts. Jesper and Wylan would be in Ketterdam soon enough and the girl would be out of his legs

• literally. 

• There was thunder that night. Kaz had gradually collected dozens of blankets to make a bed for the girl. That night, there was no tug at his pant leg, but whimpers. Loud ones. Kaz couldn't ignore them

• “Zuri?” he grumbled. 

• Silence.  

• “Zuri.” he turned on the little lamp at on his bedside table. He waited. Slowing, Zuri got up. The shirt he had given her to sleep in reached her toes. 

• “I’m sorry, Mister Kaz,�� she whispered. Her face was full of tears, her blue eyes shining in the light, “The loud noise makes me scared.” 

• As if to prove a point, thunder resonated and Zuri pressed her lips together, shaking and covering her ears. She didn’t cry though. Never when he could see. 

• His heart twisted. His heart twisted for her. He made the decision. 

• “Come here.” he lifted a corner of the covers, inviting her in. She hesitated. 

• “Now or never.” he warned. she waddled to the bed, struggling to get over the side. Kaz silently slipped on his gloves as Zuri curled herself in a ball.

• Zuri had never asked him about the gloves and he was thankful.

•The bed wasn’t big, but she took up so little space that he could easily keep a healthy distance away. 

•Thunder boomed as he turned off the light.“I’m scared, Mister Kaz” 

• he froze. 

• “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He could barely fathom the words he said.

• “With your magic?”

• “With my magic.” 

• The three weeks went by, and Kaz gave Zuri to Wylan and Jesper who easily took her in. They didn’t ask any questions. 

• As Kaz packed up Zuri’s possessions that she had collected throughout the three weeks, the girl looked at him sadly. 

• “Why do I have to go Mister Kaz?” 

• “It’s better for you.”

• “Why?”

• He sighed. “Because.”

• “I’m going to miss you, Mister Kaz.” 

• He clenched his jaw, giving her the box of her belongings. It had seemed like forever ago that he had found her in her late mother’s embrace. 

• “Me too, Zuri.” They had not hugged, but she had tugged on his pant leg one last time.

• The days went by. The office was back to what it had been before. Calm, orderly, silent. 

• Kaz had dreaded the feeling, but he knew that he missed it. He missed her. Her mumbling, the soft sound of her feet padding the ground, her drawings, her letters, the Zemeni lullabies, her excited smile, her small pout when he told her he wouldn’t get her waffles, her frown when he told her to brush her teeth. 

• He even missed her minuscule presence at night. 

• It had been a week since she had gone away. He had ignored Wylan and Jesper. He didn’t want to know what they had done with the girl-- he trusted them enough. Then he found them--

• Of course he did. Of course he kept them.  The drawings. The childish drawings. Her, him, the crow that she had named Will. Her notes. FOR MiSTER KAZ.

• He knew he should have burned them. Instead he shook his head--

• Next thing he knew, he was at the Van Eck manor. 

• “Kaz?” It was Kali, Jesper and Wylan’s oldest daughter. She swung the door wide to reveal Jesper carrying Zuri. 

• Her face light up the moment she saw him. 

• “Mister Kaz!” she waved gingerly, but smiled wide. “I was telling Mister Jesper that I did a cartwheel!”

• Jesper grinned. He may have been in his late thirties, but the man still had the heart of a teenager. “It was very impressive,” he agreed, letting her to the ground. She rushed to Kaz, but stopped a safe distance away.

• “Are we going home, Mister Kaz?” she asked, eyes twinkling.

• Jesper interjected, “Zuri, darling, Mister Kaz can’t--” 

• “Yes,” Kaz breathed, squatting down to level her, “We are going home. Will the Crow misses you.”

• Jesper’s jaw dropped. Zuri clapped her hands. “Crows are so nice!”

• Kaz cracked a genuine smile, offering a bare hand to the little girl that had somehow given him a new dimension in life. 

• She grabbed it slowly.

• “Now... how about some waffles for the birthday girl?”

so yep yeah idk this just is something i want like a little girl to soften out Kaz’s edges you know what I mean? also i know shes really young but thats the point she like a genius u know idk