#like fuck yeah show how awful of a dad he is even when not burning his sons face off

[asmrrpaddict]

The First Laugh

David sat at his desk going through company paperwork. Something about shift changes or something, he didn’t really care. David was burned out although he could never say it out loud, especially around his pack. Some of them already had their doubts about David taking his father’s place, but he was determined to make Gabe proud.

It had only been three months since his dad died. Three months of paperwork, questions, paperwork, crying, & more paperwork. He never realized how much his dad carried on his shoulders everyday. He knew it was going to be a lot, but not this much.

Plastering on fake smiles and phony laughter took its toll. How do you answer, “Are you doing ok?” Or “How are you?” after losing the person you looked up to the most? David was stressed, exhausted, and unable to form coherent thoughts when he wasn’t working on something for the pack or the company.

By the time David got home he figured Ash would have gone to bed, it was two in the morning after all. He missed his best friend. Sure they lived together and Ash was his beta, but he couldn’t bring himself to just let loose and have fun anymore. He missed everyone. Milo and his new mate, Maria, Jessica, hell he even missed Christian at this point.

With his brain on autopilot he open the apartment door, kicked off his shoes, and hung up his jacket. He turned to see the lights were still on. Asher, come on, turn off a damn light. He thought to himself. He slammed his hand down on the light switch blackening the room. Except a faint glow.

“Oh fuck! What the hell?”

David heard someone shout from the living room. He flipped the lights back on and saw Asher coming around the corner with a water bottle defensively in hand.

“AHH!” Ash screamed as the lights came on and he saw David suddenly standing there. He tossed the bottle instinctively and David caught it.

“Asher, what the hell?” David growled.

“Oh God, Sorry David. You scared the living hell out of me.”

“So you brought a water bottle?”

“It was the only thing I had near by.”

“You’re a fucking werewolf.”

“Oh… yeah. Well, I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t think about that.” He shrug nonchalantly. He reaches in his pocket and grabs his phone, “Holy shit David, why are you just now getting home man?”

“I still had work to do.” He tossed the bottle back to Asher and started walking down to his room.

“I, I would have stayed and helped had I known.”

“No worries.”

“Shut up!” Asher screamed.

David froze and turned back to his beta.

“Did you just tell me to…”

“No, no, God no. Milo’s talking at me through my headphones. You want me to tell him you said hi?”

“Whatever, I’m going to bed. You should too. We have a job tomorrow.”

Asher bit his lip. He’s been worried about his best friend.

“Yeah. Uh hey David. Can you… show me how to beat this thing? Milo and I are playing Destiny and I can’t beat this damn thing. And Milo’s being no help whatsoever.”

“Not tonight Ash. I’m exhausted and going to bed.”

“Awe come on David, just one little mission? If it takes more than 10 minutes, I’ll shut down the game and go to bed.”

I hope this works. Just something to break him out of it. I haven’t seen the big guy really smile or laugh since…

“Fine. One game.” David sighs and holds up one finger.

“Great! Thanks man!” Asher practically sprinted back to the screen.

David plopped down next to Ash on the couch and watched as he tried to win, but he failed… miserably. A little too miserably.

Ash turned off the headphones so Milo and David could hear each other.

And of course, within seconds Asher and Milo were arguing. David sat there taking deep breaths trying not to smash Asher’s tech.

“You’re such a fuckin’ moron Ash, that isn’t the way to do that… what are ya even doin’? You’re going the wrong fuckin’ way! Hold on. Yeah Sweetheart? Nothing’s wrong, just Ash being a fuckin’ idiot as usual.”

“Hey, don’t tell your mate that, they still like me and they’ll think I really am an idiot!”

“Butcha are one.”

David could hear the smug grin on Milo’s face.

“You know what Milo?”

“What?”

“You keep calling me an idiot to your mate and I’ll tell them about the time we went to the movies and you…”

“Hey, hey shut up man! You promised you’d never bring that shit up again. Besides you’re the one who made me eat the nacho cheese, milk dud, chili dog.”

Memories of that day flashed into David’s head. Milo and Tank were playing truth or dare and Tank dared Milo to eat whatever Asher could come up with.

“Hey, I just made the thing. Tank is the one who dared you. Besides, my dad had to throw away those shoes.”

Ash and Milo started laughing. David felt a different feeling in his chest. His shoulders began to shake as he fought back his smile.

“Again, I blame you!” Ma wouldn’t even heal me because she said it was my fault for agreeing to it.”

“Tank dared you to do it! I will share 0% of the blame on this one.”

“I’m gonna beat your ass!” Milo chuckled.

“Yeah well, I’m not even sure you can reach it!”

And that did it. David’s reserves broke. He let out the biggest laugh Asher had ever heard!

“You’re both idiots.” He said still laughing.

Asher’s grin grew almost off his face and he started laughing with him.

“Hey give me a minute, I’m gonna grab a soda. You need anything?” David stood and walked towards the kitchen, still smiling.

“Nah big guy, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Be right back.”

Asher heard the fridge open.

“Good job Ash.” Milo said.

“Thanks man.”

Asher sighed with relief at the sight of David smiling. He felt like he was finally getting his best friend back.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Whoever came up with the term ‘draining your social batteries’ was one hundred percent correct, because that’s the exact feeling. Keith feels like he’s physically dragging himself down the dark hallways of the castle, like his duracells are barely puttering along enough to get him back to his room.

God, Keith fucking hates having to go to diplomatic missions alone. (Well, he wasn’t really alone. But Retired Shiro is about as helpful as a rubber duck, so. He mostly just comes along so he can wear his horrible dad shirts in public and be complimented on them, and to tease Keith at every given moment.)

There is one good part about having such a draining day, though: when he finally makes it to his room, door sliding open at the press of his hand, the scent of Lance’s floral shampoo and the sound of his gentle humming is like injecting concentrated relief into his veins. Like all his batteries got zapped by Zeus himself.

It’s a great feeling, is what Keith is trying to say.

“Hi, baby,” Lance says with great amusement when Keith flops on top of him with a groan. “Long day?”

“You know it was,” Keith mutters, batting Lance’s book from his hands and securing them in Keith’s hair, face pressed into his chest and legs tangled together.

Lance takes the hint and starts carefully detangling the mess that is Keith’s helmet hair, laughing softly to himself.

“It can’t have been all bad, hm? I’m sure there were some good parts.”

The quiet, reflective optimism makes Keith smile. It’s such a Lance thing to say — to be so sure that there must have been a good side, at least some sort of silver lining.

“I guess so,” he relents. “There was this pretty interesting tour of their history museum in the beginning. You know how the Floxions have all those freckles?”

“They’re the pink ones, yeah?”

“Yep.”

“Then yes, I know.”

Keith shudders as Lance runs his nails through a particularly sensitive part of his scalp. “Well, they have this belief that each of the marks is a place where they were kissed by a lover in a past life. I thought that was kinda cute.”

“Huh.”

Lance pulls his hands away, making Keith open his eyes and pout at him in protest, because hey. He had a hard day. He deserves to be petted.

But Lance doesn’t notice — he’s busy looking down at his bare legs, pulling down the waistband of his shorts slightly the glance at his hip. Then he tilts his head down to his chest. Finally he looks back at Keith, brows raised playfully.

“You were a fuckin’ horndog in our last life, then, babe. I have freckles all over.”

And then he bursts into giggles, covering his mouth with his hand and scrunching his face so hard Keith can barely see the brown of his eyes.

It’s a joke. Lance is teasing him, poking fun at the way Keith likes to kiss him all over and mark him up when they make love. This is nothing new, really, nothing he hasn’t heard a thousand times before.

But that’s not why Keith’s mouth has gone dry, or why he stares at his lover in a quiet sort of awe. It’s that Lance heard about marks from a past life, of the imprints a lover might make on your soul, and he didn’t even hesitate before thinking of Keith. Didn’t consider any other option, exhaust any other possibility — he was as sure as the day is long that his soul is entwined, unquestionably, with Keith’s. As if they have been each other’s since the dawn of time, in every life, in every way.

“I love you,” Keith says, a little helplessly. It doesn’t feel like enough. How can three little words capture the intensity he’s feeling in his chest, his throat, his lungs? How can eight letters convey the desperate kind of devotion that burns through his veins? How could any combination of sounds ever be enough to press the all consuming fire that burns for Lance, in every one of Keith’s cells, in the very molecules that make him?

It’s not enough. It will never be enough.

But Lance seems to understand, anyway.

“I know,” he says cheekily. “You’ve apparently been showing me for dozens of lifetimes, to cover me in marks this much.”

Keith snorts, settling on Lance’s thighs and pushing him back on the bed, grinning as Lance’s breath catches slightly. He leans down to press a lingering kiss to the juncture of Lance’s neck, and then another, and another and another and another, kissing down his shoulders and collarbone until Lance finally gasps, hands gripping the fabric of Keith’s shirt.

“When I’m done with you tonight, your next life will have more marks than clear skin.”

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

The Problem With The Southern Raiders

Brynn_Sasha191 asked: And what do you have to say about TSR episode as a whole? And how ZK shippers constantly refer and think of it as 'the Zutara episode'.

***

The episode itself is alright. Katara and Zuko looked cool as hell in their ninja outfits, sneaking around and being menaces. The scene of Katara choosing to bloodbend (and her horror after) were shocking. The moral of the episode ("Unnecessary violence is never the answer, BUT that doesn't mean people who wronged you are entitled to your forgiveness") is pretty good. Zuko looked like he gained some genuine understanding for Katara's situation, as well as respect for her mom, when he was told about how Kya's death happened. Plus the Sukka bit, and Zuko's reaction to it, was one of the funniest moments in the show.

The only thing that REALLY bothers me about it how it is the ONE time the show tried to sweep Zuko's mistakes under the rug. Katara was not mad at him because she was wrongfully "projecting" her grief over her mom, and her anger at the killer, on poor, innocent Zuzu.

She was mad because this entitled prince that had threatened the people of her village, tried to use her mom's necklace to blackmail her and then threatened to burn it, had been chasing her group all around the world, endangering them several times, to kidnap her best friend managed to convince her for five minutes that maybe there was some humanity to him - and then immediately helped his sister essentially win the war for the Fire Nation, and killing Aang. Then after Katara saved him, the same goddamn prince sent an assassin after them.

It doesn't matter that he was never fully evil, that he had understandable reasons to do what he did, that truly changed sides, and that he doesn't intend to ever do something like that again. Katara does NOT have to forgive him, and she sure as hell does not owe him her friendship, and it's not cool how the episode keeps allowing Zuko to act all entitled, without ever calling him out for it - and worse, activelly saying KATARA is the one in the wrong.

Plus, it's kinda fucked up that it's never acknowledged how Zuko, the guy who was disfigured and banished for wanting the soldiers of the Fire Nation to be treated fairly and with any humanity, and saw harming them for daring to OBEY ORDERS as an absolute betrayal, was willing to kill one of these guys for the crime of... following the Fire Lord's orders - which Zuko had also been doing mere WEEKS before.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand Katara being out for blood and not giving a shit about "well, if he didn't obey, he'd be traitor" when what he did traumatized her for life and made her grow up without her mom, but Zuko just seemed a bit hypocritical, and like he was betraying his beliefs there. It just doesn't make sense in my head that he wouldn't be thinking "What that guy did was fucked up, but I nearly got all of my current allies killed just a month ago because they were still enemies and it'd make sure my dad would not disfigure/banish me again or even kill me, it'd not be right of me to act like I can judge this guy"

But this one doesn't bother me as much since the whole point of that episode was for Zuko to unlearn all the awful "lessons" his father taught him by fully normalizing violence to him - and considering the finale showed us he was feeling sorry for Azula (hell, he was already giving off Concerned Big Brother vibes on the opening scene of TSR)  and was willing to spare even Ozai, I think it's safe to say he will never make that kind of mistake again (the comics are not canon, I don't care what anyone says).

So yeah, it's a deeply flawed, but entertaining episode that MOSTLY works - but it's NOT the "zutara" episode, not just because there's no romance there, but also because, if anything, 99% of it just shows how these two have the potential to bring out the absolute worst in each other, and that, at least until he genuinely started bonding with her during their mission) Zuko had no problem with playing the victim whenever Katara dared to be mad at him for doing horrible things that hurt her, the people she cared about, and innocents in general.

Thank God they grew as people AND have other friends that can pull them out of destructive spirals.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"Hey, Love!" James yelled "I mean, Lily. Lily, come here"

Lily was red again because she had turned when James had said Love. It was incredible how he could provoke all these awful things in her when before she had all the control. But Lily had been acting like a fool lately.

James was in the Common Room, surrounded by second and third years. James had always been good at making friends. He had friends in every year. But Lily had discovered his ability to win kids over when he became Head Boy. He was good with them. And Lily's heart started beating fast when James acted like a father with them. It became a game as the year rolled over, how younger students treated them like their mum and dad, which made Lily's crush even more difficult to bear.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Come here, sit down" James said patting the seat next to her. "The lads were telling me a nice joke..." James continued as Lily took a seat next to him. She hadn't realized how much she liked his cologne. It was really good.

"Hello, Mrs. Potter" someone teased making the others laugh.

"Hi" Lily answered without thinking but when she saw James smiling, she went bright red "I mean... My name is not Potter, Nigel. Evans. Lily Evans! Remember?"

The kids were laughing. James was trying to avoid smiling. Nigel was one of the worst. He reminded Lily of a younger version of James and Sirius. Little trouble makers. Little devils, they were. Lily remembered how she used to hate them. The difference was that Nigel had a scholarship. He came from a very poor family with many children. James and Lily had a special care for him.

"Nigel, I told you not to bother the lady" James tutted, putting an arm around her.

"What?" Nigel shrugged. "It's what Dumbledore called her"

Lily was trying to ignore how much she like having James's arm around her.

"Are you two dating or something?" A third year girl asked.

James and Lily went immediately red.

"I wish..." James murmured.

"What?"

"I mean no! No!"

"We are just friends" Lily clarified.

"Friends!" James nodded "There's nothing..."

"Being coworkers doesn't mean we are..."

"We are not married..."

"What?" Lily hit his arm "Of course not!"

"Head Boy and Head Girl, that's all"

Lily nodded "Forget about what Dumbledore said"

"Hey friend" James showed her his palm.

"Friend" Lily hit it.

"There you go..." James cleared his throat.

Lily wished she hadn't been obvious. It was the first time she had a crush and she didn't know how to hide it. She didn't know what to do with it.

"Come on!" Nigel's friend, Mark, said "It is obvious that you two want to eat each other's mouths"

Lily felt her cheeks burning, her eyes widened. Then James said nervously: "Thank you, good night! It's almost curfew, you all need to get to your dorms... Bye.. Bye.."

The group of students groaned and protested.

"Come on! We were telling jokes"

"We are not sleepy right now"

"Please we are not babies"

"No, it is getting late, darlings" Lily added, smiling at them. The kids got up reluctantly.

"Bye Mrs. Potter" Nigel teased as he got up.

"Nigel" Lily tutted.

"Come on! Chop chop, you little lad" James snapped his fingers.

"Come on, James" Lily heard Nigel whispering "Tell her how you feel, she is just there. Bloody kiss her! Do something!"

"Shut up, shut up,..." James whispered back "I told you it is complicated..."

"Fucking hell, you are such a pussy" Nigel tutted "You are so slow. How do think I got with my five girlfriends?"

Lily wanted to laugh. She didn't know if it was because of what Nigel was saying, or how adorable James was or the fact that perhaps James felt the same.

"What five girlfriends?" James asked "You're just twelve. You're a kid"

"Yet I have more nerve than you"

"Go to sleep! Go and brush your teeth!" James shooed him away. Nigel giggled as he walked away "And think about who is going to lend you their console now!" he yelled as Nigel climbed the stairs. "Because it ain't gonna be me!"

Then James turned back to Lily with a grin. Lily smiled back. She was so embarrassed.

"Kids..." James snorted

"Yep"

"Am I right?" James tutted "They have such a weird imagination. They were like: 'Call Lily, call Lily we have a joke for her', bloody cheesy wankers"

"It's okay, they are kids. Just messing around" Lily giggled nervously.

"Yeah it is not that we..."

"No!"

Lily was kind of disappointed.

"I mean we are friends getting to know each other"

"Exactly"

"People see romance everywhere now a days"

"I know, why can't boys and girls be just friends?" Lily shrugged.

"Right? Right?" James nodded. "I don't... I don't know why Nigel..." James rubbed his neck "I mean it is Nigel."

"It's Nigel" Lily nodded.

"He is such a little devil" James shook his head "When I was his age, I was very innocent"

Lily laughed.

"What?" James asked amused. "What?"

"You were worse than him, James. You were awful"

"Well thank you"

"I mean you and Black used to go around causing trouble and thinking you were better than everyone else" Lily giggled.

James smiled, looking at her "I like your laughter. I like that you call me James"

Lily was blushing again. Jesus! Could she embarrass herself more?

"Thank God you matured from that" Lily cleared her throat changing the subject.

"I was a little dick, wasn't I?"

Lily nodded "But you are amazing now. I mean, you behave like a decent person now." she finished playing with her hair.

James twisted his mouth and rubbed his hair making it messy. Lily loved his hair.

"I am glad we are friends, Evans"

"Me too, Potter" she smiled, making him smile as well.

They stared into each other's eyes. Lily could see how big and gentle they looked behind those glasses. They were a dark brown, so intense they left Lily speechless.

She wanted for James to ask her out again. She might say yes. She wanted for James to kiss her. She might kiss him back.

Whatever asshole he had been in the past was long gone. James was a good person, a good friend. So funny, so easy going, so warm. It was easy to be around him. James was like sunshine.

How couldn't Lily see that before?

Though, she wasn't sure James felt the same. Maybe it was all a game to him. That's why he was messing around with Nigel and his friends. Lily didn't want her heart to get broken.

"We should..." Lily looked away first "I mean it is really almost carefew... So..."

"Yeah..." James was still looking at her carefully.

Lily raised from her seat.

"No!" James exclaimed. Lily looked at him "No no No! Stay... Stay... We can... Ahm....Stay"

Lily smiled with hope. She even giggled a little.

"Well, it is almost carefew we shouldn't..."

"We are Head Boy and Girl, we are able to bend the rules, a little"

Lily bit her lip. Her reasonable part was telling her she should not break the rules. But her heart was so happy, jumping inside her chest with the prospect of spending more time with James.

"Are you sleepy already?"

Lily shook her head with a smile.

"Me neither" James smirked "Let's do something. The two of us"

Lily stared playing with her hair again. "Like what?"

"Uuff I have a lot of ideas" James smirked to himself. Lily raised an eyebrow

"Don't be a pervert, Potter" she hit him.

"No! No! That's not... I mean..." he cleared his throat "Do you like chocolate milk?"

"Yeah" Lily smiled "I love chocolate milk"

"Great!" James exclaimed "Why don't we go down to the kitchens and drink some chocolate milk and eat some cookies... Chat for a bit... What do you say?"

"Is this like a date?" Lily asked, blushing this time in the dark.

"Do you want it to be a date?" James asked "I mean it can be a date. A date between friends. A friend date"

This is what Lily wanted, right? Spend some time with James. Get to know him better. Maybe that would make Lily's feelings more clear.

"I like that idea"

"Yeah?" James smiled, making Lily do it as well.

"Yeah"

"Okay, let's go, Mrs. Head Girl" James extended his hand. Lily took it getting a bit flustered.

"Let's go Mr. Head Boy"

[sloelimbs]

"Send me a Hellcheer request": Chrissy knows the origins of Eddie's scars, but he doesn't know hers. So he learns each one.

“And that one?”

“Hm?” Chrissy is prodding a light patch of hair that grows differently to the rest of it. Not in spirals and waves but weird tufts, a shade or three (okay, fuck you, he’s going gray at twenty one, shut up) lighter than his natural colour. “Ah, yeah. That was dear old dad with his monkey wrench. I don’t think he meant to hit me, I just got between him and the dog.”

“Your dad sounds awful.”

“There’s a reason we don’t have family reunions much.” He flops back against the floor and closes his eyes for a second and just relishes this. What he has. Chrissy in his arms and weed smoke heavy around them and the sun brightly burning hot. He loves midsummer. He loves how colourful everything gets. Even the dead grass looks like honey and woven gold. “What about yours?”

“My what?”

“C’mon, princess, are you going to lay there and tell me you’ve never had a tumble from the top of the pyramid so bad you got a little roughed up?”

“Oh. Well, yeah, but…” Eddie opens an eye to smile at her. To slide his fingertips from her chin to the shell of her ear, to really really really look at her.

“You don’t have to tell me about anything you don’t want to.” She sits up anyway and twists around on herself to lift the back of her shirt, and show him a hooklike curve of puckered flesh above her hip.

“I fell off a horse when I was four and broke the bone. I had to wear one of those diaper looking casts for months and I wasn’t allowed to go swimming in the summer.” The scarring is warm when he touches it, and he holds his hair away from his face in one fist when he leans down to kiss it.

“Braver than I am, horses are fucking freaky.”

“Oh, you just don’t like it when things are taller than you. That's why you surround yourself with halflings, kids and Steve.”

“I also hang out with Robin.”

“She’s a halfling with me. So’s Nancy.”

“Yeah, you’re a freak, alright.” It’s good to see her laughing, though. Even if the scar on her back isn’t what he was talking about. He knows there are others hidden on her skin which weren’t accidents at all, but this golden afternoon isn’t the time for those stories. He doesn’t want to taint this place by forcing answers he doesn’t need from her. All that matters is that he hasn’t seen a fresh one in a year. All that matters is that when they fall into bed at night all the lines she’s made on herself are ancient and silvery and from old battles instead of new ones. All that matters, to Eddie Munson in early July with the bees abuzz around him and butterflies kissing the cornflowers, is that Chrissy tips her face into his and let’s him breathe her in.

[thenixkat]

Oh yeah, I finished the Blue Beetle 1986 run.

There was a bunch of stuff I liked. Like Ted's college roommate/bestie Takamoto. And Ted being a decent caring boss/willing to fucking throw down if you try to harm his employees. Giving ex-cons chances. Willing to look out for people's families and financially support them. And caring about homeless people (granted he failed to grasp the fact that he could infact do shit to help them).

Loved the choice to have Ted's Beetle Nest be right under the Kord Inc. building. And Ted's gods awful fashion choices, good fucking lords you have to actively try to pick colors and patterns that clash that badly. Also really like Ted with curly red hair, every other appearance of him in the DC universe should have curly red hair! It looks great and distinct.

Also the whole Ted vs Dan thing and Khaji Da being a mind controlling alien parasite trying to seduce Ted. The ending felt like a fucking cop out but most of it was fun and also Dan lasered a bunch of cops which was neat.

But there was also a bunch of stuff I hated. Like the unnecessary drama of Ted not telling his loved ones about his secret identity even when it became clear that it was causing issues. OG Ted didn't have those problems b/c he told his girlfriend/lab assistant which was hot new and spicey at the time narritively.

You could have had different more interesting drama with folks knowing! Imagine how the arc where Nixon banned superheroes b/c public opinion got turned against superheroes would have gone down if there were people who knew that Ted was a superhero? Like that fucking cop got to figure out Ted's identity but what did we get out of that other than Ted getting blackmailed by that cop to do dirty work for him?

There's a bunch of plot lines that never get resolved and as far as I know just don't get resolved due to folks not really caring about Ted's of solo run. Like, poor Mr. Calhoun does not get fucking rescued after he got horribly burned, forcibly mutated and given superpowers, then kidnapped and enslaved. I didn't see a single peep about Mr. Calhoun after the Titans told Ted to go home and things will resolve themselves eventually.

Just damn, free my mans Calhoun!

And like damn, no one at Kord Inc really thought about Jeremiah Duncan much after he got kidnapped by French people. And that doesn't sit right with me. Especially after seeing what Ted did for Angie and Calhoun when they were in trouble and even that ex-con that was trying to turn his life around. Like? The fuckle?

Also the entire ending of that run felt just ... that's both a downer ending and it didn't feel super in character. Like yer telling me Ted, Mr. 'Oh no my secretary didn't show up and didn't call out and this is very not like her I'm gonna drop by her house to see if she's ok' and Mr. 'Calhoun saved my life I'm going to ride with him to the hospital to make sure he's ok/I will fight all these fucking supervillains trying to kidnap my employee so I can get that man to a fucking hospital' would say fuck yall and dip instead of helping rebuild his company?

Sure, he's pissed off at his dad and his ex but would that spite really beat out every fuck he gives for all the other people that work for him? The folks he said were like family to him that he proved pretty well that he meant it through out the story? If he quits he cant take care of the ex-con's family like he promised to. If he quits what happens to Angie? If he quits Calhoun wont have a job to come back to and its not like he could get another after being turned into a metal skinned mutant.

Nah, I don't buy that ending.

What is Ted Kord other than a bundle of guilt and responsibility, seasoned with depression and self loathing, and covered up with a bright wrapper of quips and humor?

I'm not buying that Ted Kord would leave his people in a lurch just to spite two fuckers when he could spite them by being fucking awesome and taking care of his?

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life Episode 15 and 16 liveblogging

This is my first watch, so don't tell me secrets ;)

This massacre just doesn't feel like a crown prince move? 🤔🤔

Going back to the reason they were on Cow Street... Are they going to figure out that Si Lili is a northern qing agent?

Looks like me and ML are on the same page..?

Yeah I remember when she burned her cover earlier. Damn ur bro died because you trusted a mysterious stranger who you knew to be a good liar, able to defeat knockout drugs, and not a real courtesan. In retrospect, not a good look. Idiotic forced romance misunderstandings are the mind killer.

Now he's gonna hire crooked map seller as his subordinate... we'll see how that goes.

I suppose I better learn his name: Wang Qinian, Wang Qinian, Wang Qinian!

We got a backhug! Very romance.

Dad shows up for him at the bridge.

The horses are imperial army. This is stirring up my carefully repressed conspiracy theory that ML's a Secret Royal.

Ok so.... Those guards are from the emperor's personal army. And who is The Bureau Head? Do we know??? He and Dad had "not an ordinary friendship". (also the english subs are using "he" but I don't see 他 used in the Mandarin subs? I guess I'll just presume the subbers know more than me)

Fan Daddy and the Emperor are super interesting together. This is the closest to anyone who's been able to go toe to toe with the emperor. For a moment they almost walked side by side (still dad a step behind). Here we finally see how he could have captured the heart (or at least the friendship?) of the iconic woman ML' mom is reported to be.

I'm actually the most interested about the emperor's relationship with Marvolous Mom. Were they frenemies? besties? lovers? comrades in arms? She was so larger than life, I can't believe she didn't mean SOMETHING to him. Did she have a hand in the shaping of the foundation of his rule, 16+ years ago? 🤔

Lord Zhu is also tracking Si Lili. Hope you help the cause instead of fucking the chase up

lololololol crap maps strike again!

This plan is awful. ... oh good, ML agrees

Ok, she's disappearing! But WHERE???

This is all very exciting! I hope they catch her! Go team go!

Finally he gets to use his poison skills again \o/

Episode 16

Is there anything that Wang Qinian doesn't know?! He may be the most powerful master in the land 👑

"When I met Si Lili for the first time, I drugged her." "Lord, is this a good addiction?" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm enjoying the ridiculousness of this chase. Reminds me of the circular "if you suspect that I suspect that you would have suspected..." battle of wits from The Princess Bride

There she is!

Now she's asking the question I have - how is luring him here gonna put him in peril?

ah, naturally an ambush! So how will she be defeated?

...soliders? Did he send a carrier pigeon?

The Black Knights belong to the head... Who is the head?????? Uncle Wu? Grandma?

Chen Pingping?? The king of assassins. If I should already know who this is, you're laughing at me right now.

He's using the public display offense again

Royal Princess has a 1 track mind. Come on, CP! I'm (sort of) rooting for you. Not in the power struggle, but to have your own ambitions and get out from under your wacked aunt's thumb. She's lost perspective & she's not on your side, just her own.

ML is very smart but even if she tells him something, why believe it

I don't trust this water

Don't trust her ML!! This is not Arkham Asylum catch & release

Wang Qinain works for Chen Pingping, right? The way he was fishing was super suspicious.

Yan Ruohai keeps having to save ML's ass, how tragic for him

'I thought you were going to save me?' Si Lili, girl are you for real?! He offered to save you IF you cooperated and you didn't.

Why do I feel like ML doesn't trust Wang Qinain as much as he pretends to?

Sister Ruoruo visiting the Crown Prince? What's the deal there? She's promising to join his team... Why? Like me does she suspect that he's chasing after Fan Xian as a deluded compulsion, like a dog after an ambulance..? So she thinks if she explains his moves the CP will realize he's not a real threat? Or is she trying to spy on him? Or.. she really just wants to hedge her bets? 🤔

UGH the fact that 🍗 just gives these weak ass little protests to her mom and brother but doesn't fight for the guy she clearly likes. Not even manipulative tears! sigh. Just crumbles like a paper bag. She and ML are cute when they're alone but perhaps her personality is just not my cup of tea.

The person 🍗's bestie saw is also the person that is coming to interrogate Si Lili.... Right?????

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: The Misadventures of The Solars Episode #2: Localization F%#ks!

The episode opens with Cooke was busy fixing a drill. *just like Korvo did in the first episode*

Shlorpian Cooke: Dig dang it! *uses the fixer* stupid thing!

Sandra: *an Earth-4 neighbor* Mmm, build better drills Cooke. Work those red arms.

Shlorpian Frankie: Hey! He’s mine you seducing bitch!

Shlorpian Cooke: Yeah! Stop addressing me your eyes Sandra! That is fucking creepy!

Human Korvo shows up

Human Korvo: Excuse me, the Replicants missed the bus. Can you take them to school? Terry and I have stuff to do. *notices Sonya is not here and sighs* Where the hell is Sonya?

Sonya is then heard screaming. Human Korvo gasps.

Human Korvo: Sonya?! Hang on Sonya, daddy’s coming.

The rest of the family rushes back inside only to gasp in shock. Sonya is now a replicant, grinning in joy upon seeing her transformation.

Replicant Sonya: This is awesome!

Human Solars: Sonya?

Replicant Sonya: Guys! Guys! I’m a Replicant and I got two toes!

Human Korvo laughs

Human Korvo: Aw, you still look pretty honey. Even as a Replicant. You’re even a Shlorpian just like your dads and older siblings.

Replicant Sonya giggles

Human Terry: Hey come you guys missed the bus? You’re gonna be late!

Replicant Stacy G: We didn’t miss it! They purposely skipped our house!

Human Korvo: I'm sure it was an accident.

Replicant Stacy G: Ugh! The bus driver hates us because I accidentally made an explosion in the sample override with my electric hair groomer!

Replicant Sonya: Can we please go? Home room is when I decided which boy I’m gonna crush on for the day!

Shlorpian Cooke: Seriously?! Does the dog park seem so important to you today?!

Human Terry: Yeah. It's where Korvo and I are gonna have our date.

Human Korvo smiles and blushes.

Shlorpian Cooke: I’m busy.

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: Oh come on Cooke. Don’t be like that.

Shlorpian Cooke: Well one of you guys should be helping me construct our drill!

Human Korvo: Come on Cooke. I just got into dog parks. Terry and I don’t want to miss the labordoodles.

Shlorpian Cooke: Oh is the dog park more important than Nikol Aloid so he can help turn us back to normal!

Human Terry: Uh I don’t know Cooke. Could Nikol Aloid catch a frisbee in the air?

Shlorpian Cooke: You won’t know until we get there! You know sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who is having a terrible time on this planet.

Human Korvo: Well I don’t blame you. I was the one who wanted to land here.

Shlorpian Cooke: Well your stupid scanners didn’t indicate it was craphold without a single redeeming value, Korvo! We have been stranded here for two months! How is that not a problem for all off you? *heads inside the drill*

Human Korvo sighs

Human Korvo: This won’t end well like last time with the drill.

Human Terry: Yeah. It won't...

Shlorpian Cooke started the drill. The drill’s reactions ends up causing devastation around Earth-4 as the residents run for their lives. Shlorpian Cooke made it to the core and uses a claw to grab a sample.

Shlorpian Cooke: *leans the cran over* Okay… alright… come to papa… *suddenly lavas spews into the cockpit* Oh no! No no no no no! *lava burns his legs and screams in pain*

Shlorpian Cooke teleports back to the surface. Earth-4 dogs and Human Pupa appears and starts licking him as Human Korvo and Human Terry gives him a dismayed and annoyed look.

Human Korvo: *deadpanned* I warned ya!

Shlorpian Cooke growls

Shlorpain Randall: Wow! You guys should’ve seen that dog park that looks like the one back on Earth! *looks down at the puppies* You cute puppies love those nubs? You like to like them, yes you do?

Human Terry notices Human Korvo's distress

Human Terry: Korv? What's wrong?

Human Korvo: Hmm?

Human Terry: You look upset. Wanna talk?

Human Korvo sighs sadly and nods. The two human husbands head inside and turn into their Shlorpian forms.

Terry: Honey, are you okay? What is it you want to tell me?

Korvo: I can't believe all this happened...I don't know what to do. It's bad enough I'm pregnant- *covers mouth in shock*

Terry: Wh-what?

Korvo sighs

Korvo: I'm pregnant. I know you're probably mad but-

Terry: *gasp in joy* Oh my God! We’re having a baby! I am so happy for you! *kisses Korvo on the lips as Korvo smiles*

Korvo giggles and moans lovingly

Korvo: Thank you Terry. *sighs* But I am still not giving up hope! I must do whatever it takes to get our friends back to normal!

Terry: That's the Korvo I know.

The two alien husbands kiss again. The scene then cuts to school where the Replicants are walking through the halls.

Replicant Stacy G: You ever have the feeling everyone thinks we're weird.

Human Jesse: Of course not. This school might be better than our old one.

Suddenly, Replicant Stacy G gets hit by a spitball.

Sidney: Go back to Earth, you former human shit!

Human Jesse: Hey! Don’t talk to my GF like that!

Human Yumyulack gets hit by a spit ball

Replicant Sonya: Hey! Don’t do that to my big brother you jerk! *kicks Sidney in the leg*

Sidney: Ow! Why you little psychotic-

Human Jesse then punches Sidney in the nose like violently protective girlfriend and sister she is.

Human Jesse: Fuck off!

Human Yumyulack: Yeah! That’s right! Now get!

Sidney and the rest of the bullies run off in fear.

Replicant Stacy G: Man, is that how you guys felt back on Earth?

Human Jesse: Yep.

Miss Cranberry: Are you humans and Shlorpians fighting the hall? *suddenly reveals to be nicer and sweet* Why don’t you four take anger management class?

The scene then cuts to Replicant Stacy G venting while the human Replicants and Replicant Sonya watch

Replicant Stacy G: And not only did Victoria Limburger humiliate me today at home economics, but she also stole my spot at the spot for voting for prom Queen! *screams in rage and breaks a vase*

Human Jesse smiles as she blushes and sighs lovingly at her girlfriend’s rage.

Human Jesse: I love it when she gets angry…

The scene then cuts back to the house where Shlorpian Cooke’s foot is starting to regrow.

Korvo: *walks in* Looking good.

Shlorpian Cooke: Thanks. *notices Korvo’s pregnant belly* What the fuck happened to you?!

Korvo: Uh...well...

Terry: Korvy is pregnant!

Shlorpian Cooke: What?! How is that-

Korvo: Well to be honest, this is a new thing. There hasn’t been records of this back on Shlorp.

Korvo starts weeping

Terry: Oh honey what’s wrong?

Korvo: *weeping* I've never been pregnant before. I don't know what to do!

Terry: Hey hey shh… it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.

Korvo: *eyes turn aquamarine* NO! IT'S NOT OKAY!

Terry: *gasp* Oh shit honey… *whispering* You eyes.

Korvo gasps and shakes his head, causing his eyes to turn back to normal.

Korvo: *takes a deep breath then his fingertips turning black* Uh… be right back!

Korvo and Terry rush to the bathroom as Korvo falls to his knees

Terry: Honey, are you about to-

Korvo turns black and then grows bigger and muscular as he rips apart his robe after stretching his back. Then, his horns pop out on his head and his voice becomes distorted. After receiving his bat wings, Korvo roars and fully becomes a Super Shlorpian. Then, he breaks down in tears while holding his pregnant belly.

Super Shlorpian korvo: *tearfully* What am I gonna do?!

Terry: Hey it’s okay. The new baby is gonna be amazing and don’t worry. We’ll wait until it is the right time to tell the gang about your Super Shlorpian form. Besides, you know we always wanted to have a baby since we got married…

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Yeah...but what if-

Terry: Listen.

Super Shlorpian Korvo sniffles as Terry put his hand on Korvo’s.

Terry: I know things have been happening so fast. And I know you’re having a hard time turning the humans back to normal. But, it’s gonna be okay. With all of the family together, we got this. I don’t know what this new life is gonna bring, but whatever comes, we’ll get through it. Together.

Super Shlorpian Korvo smiles tearfully

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Oh Terry.

The two husbands kiss and moan lovingly as they start having sex. The scene then cuts to the Principal Mowbar’s office where the Replicants are in.

Principal Mowbar: Well, one to be fair, it’s okay for to have sci-fi since this is a free country planet. And two, we are really amazed by your grades.

Replicant Sonya: Wait? So we’re not in trouble?

Principal Mowbar: *chuckles* Of course not.

Miss Cranberry: Well to be honest, it wasn’t fair for these girls to bully you. *gets out a folder* Plus, your grades are really improving. Especially for you three Solar siblings.

Human Jesse smiles.

Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse and Replicant Sonya: Thanks Miss Cranberry.

Miss Cranberry: Plus Jesse, we are very amazed by your report based on your favorite creature… the… Mundane?

Principal Mowbar: Yeah. We haven’t heard about this in awhile. How did you know about this interesting monster?

Human Jesse: Oh… since I was a baby… when I was still a baby, I was playing in my crib…

A flashback plays as baby Jesse plays with her hangar. Terry approaches her.

Terry: Hey there Jesse-bear… how’s my cute baby doing? *tickles baby Jesse’s belly*

Baby Jesse: *coos and touches Terry's face*

Suddenly, Terry hears something and puts baby Jesse down in her crib as she coos. Terry kisses baby Jesse on the forehead and leaves as he runs out of the apartment.

Human Jesse: *voiceover* Suddenly, Terry left. And I was still fiddling around.

An hour later, Baby Jesse is fast asleep. Until, suddenly, baby Jesse heard a growling sound and crawls out her crib and starts crawling.

Human Jesse: *voiceover* An hour passed and Terry still hasn’t come back… *baby Jesse laughs as she tries to reach for her favorite teddy bear* Until, I heard the Mundane!

A roar is heard

Baby Jesse: *gets confused and babbles*

Baby Jesse kept crawling to the teddy as she gets up on the couch and laughs. But then, she heard the roar again.

Human Jesse: *voiceover* I tried to ignore the roaring at first...but then...

Baby Jesse finally reaches for the teddy as she laughs and squeaks it.

Mundane: *roars*

Baby Jesse turns around and sees the Mundane

Baby Jesse: *babbles*

Mundane: *roars*

Baby Jesse: *squeals in joy and starts coming up to it*

The Mundane grunts in confusion

Baby Jesse: *stands up after dropping her teddy bear and starts to stand up as she tries walking towards the Mundane*

The Mundane gasps and picks up Baby Jesse

Baby Jesse: *giggles as she touches the Mundane’s face but then starts getting fussy*

Human Jesse: *voiceover* I started to get fussy but then suddenly, he starts soothing and cradling me…

Mundane: Shh… shh…

Baby Jesse stops crying and whimpers

Mundane: *muffling comforting voice*

The flashback ends

Human Jesse: Then after that, the Mundane was gone and I was suddenly on the floor in Terry’s arms. I never saw the creature again for years.

Miss Cranberry: Very fascinating. It’s great to know you have some guardians to keep an eye on you, especially your parents.

Human Yumyulack: Damn...

Replicant Sonya: Well, should we head out now Principal Mowbar?

Principal Mowbar: *wipes away tears* Yes, you may...

Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Replicant Sonya and Replicant Jesse: Thank you! *leaves the office*

Later with Korvo and Terry

Korvo: *sighs* Should we tell our kids about this?

Terry: When they're ready, okay?

Korvo: *sighs in relief* Okay. Wait that reminds me. We have to tell them about the-

Jesse: *offscreen* Baby?!

The adults turn around and the Replicants are shocked upon seeing Korvo’s pregnant belly.

Korvo: Uh-

Yumyulack: Korvo! You’re pregnant?!

Replicant Stacy G: Holy cow! How?!

Terry: It's complicated...

Yumyulack, Jesse, Replicant Sonya, Pupa and Replicant Stacy G: *adored by cuteness* Aaaaw. You guys are having a baby? So cute. Aw, what a whittle cutie patootie. So cute! Baby!

Korvo chuckles

Korvo: *rubbing his pregnant belly* Yep. That’s right. In a few days, you kids are gonna have a new sibling.

Pupa: *hugs Korvo’s pregnant belly* Baby!

Terry: Hmm… you know I wonder how the others are doing.

The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Ms. Perez walking by.

Alien Kid: Move it hippie!

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: Sorry.

Alien Kid: Stupid hippie!

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: Hey! I resent that!

The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Frankie walking, until two alien women laugh at her while talking secretly about her behind their backs.

Shlorpian Frankie: *annoyed* Aw really funny!

The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Darcy and Shlorpian Jamie heading to a house until some of the residents insulted them.

Earth-4 Hot Woman: Oh my God! What the fuck are you guys wearing?!

Shlorpian Jamie growls

Earth-4 Hot Guy: Just go to hell you stupid bitch cunts!

Earth-4 Resident: Nobody wants you here!

The Earth-4 Residents starts throwing stuff at Shlorpian Jamie and Shlorpian Darcy as they ran for their lives. The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Louise grocery shopping.

Shlorpian Louise: *to an employee* Excuse me, can you show me where the vegetable isle is?

Employee: Hmph! *walks away*

Shlorpian Louise: Okay…

Then, one by one, Shlorpian Louise tries to talk to the employees.

Shlorpian Louise: Sid? Marsha? Karen? Mikey? Sid? Kirt?! Larry! *breaks down as Shlorpian Trevor comforts her* Won’t someone vouch for me?

The scene cuts back to the house, where Shlorpian Cooke is reading a book while the rest of the Shlorpians came in sadly.

Shlorpian Cooke: Hey, guys. What's going on? Everything-

Shlorpian Frankie: Horrible day. Aliens hates me? *turns to the rest of the Shlorpians* What about you guys?

All: Same.

Shlorpian Randall: Aw man. This being Shlorpian stuff sucks ass. There’s gotta be a way for the town to like us.

Shlorpian Frankie: But how?

Korvo: *offscreen* I know how.

Then the tv starts playing with a commercial for a block party downtown.

Tv Announcer: *on tv* Come on down to the Earth-4 Annual Rock Fest with so many guests, music performances and special accolades for the whole family!

Korvo: Guys! I have an idea that might help all of us-

Shlorpian Cooke: Guys! I just had a crazy idea!

Korvo: Huh?

All: Oooh!

Shlorpian Randall: Let’s hear it!

Shlorpian Cooke: What if we show ourselves off at that party? We could use sci-fi stuff to help impress those guys! People will love us!

Korvo: *horrified and shock* Wait! What?!

Shlorpian Randall: Hey! I think that’s a great idea!

Korvo: What?! No it isn’t it. The last time my family and I did that, it ended in disaster!

Shlorpian Cooke: Oh that’s bullshit! I’m sure everything will be fine Korvo. Sometimes, your sci-fi shenigans backfire! But they always work out in the end.

Korvo groans in frustration

Korvo: Fine! But if a huge disaster happens at the festival and all hell breaks loose, don’t come crying to me.

Shlorpian Cooke: Thanks Korv. Let’s do this guys!

All: Yeah.

Solars and Replicant Stacy G: Oh boy.

Later, Korvo is in his room crying while rubbing his pregnant belly softly while looking at opened locket with a picture of Replicant Janiz holding baby Korvo. Terry comes in.

Terry: Hey honey. You feeling okay?

Korvo: NO!

Terry: Hey hey. Easy boo. Can you please tell me why?

Korvo: BECAUSE! THE OTHER'S ARE GONNA DO SOMETHING RECKLESS AND WON'T LISTEN TO ME!

Korvo breathes in and out as he then breaks down in tears while clenching the locket.

Terry: Oh Korvo... *had an idea* Will sex help?

But then, Terry notices the locket in Korvo’s hand with the picture and gasp.

Terry: Korvy… is that… you when you were a baby with your sister?

Korvo nods

Korvo: I just… I just… I JUST MISS HER SO MUCH! *breaks down in tears while rubbing his pregnant belly*

Terry: Hey hey. It's okay...

Terry consoles Korvo as he continues crying.

Terry: Shh… sh… it’s okay Korvy… I’m here…

Terry notices Korvo's fingertips going black.

Terry: Uh Korv… YOUR FINGERS! LOOK?

Korvo gasps

Korvo: No! Not again!

Korvo’s skin turns black as he grows bigger and muscular and rips apart his clothes as he roars once his wings and horns pop out. He suddenly moans in pleasure

Terry: K-Korvy?

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *moans lovingly* I feel so goooooooood.

Terry: *blushes* Holy shit...

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *seductively walks towards Terry* Oh Terry-bear, this beast needs to be tamed…

Terry: Uh...why? *nervous chuckle*

Suddenly Terry realized what Korvo meant and grows smitten.

Terry: Oh ho ho. Korvo, *had his clothes taken off by Korvo* you dirty slut.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Come here you!

Super Shlorpian Korvo then dominates Terry as they moan lovingly.

Terry: *moans* Yes! Take me away! *moans* Take me to mound town, you beautiful shimmering blue bitch!

Super Shlorpian Korvo: *moans* Yes! Feel it my sexy Terry-bear! *moans lovingly*

Terry: Ooooooh! I’m getting fucking close! *moans*

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Yes! Oh yes! Me too!

The two alien husband cum as they moan lovingly and kiss each other on the lips while moaning. Super Shlorpian Korvo flaps his wings.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Thanks for being there for my handsome Terrybear!

Terry laughs

Terry: Anytime Korvy…

The two husbands kiss as Korvo turns back to normal

Korvo: *moans in relief* That’s much better… *rubbing his pregnant belly*

Korvo smiles tearfully because the baby will be born soon

Korvo: *smiles tearfully; to his pregnant belly* Hey there lil sweetheart… I can’t wait to see you soon.

Terry: Me neither...

The two husbands kiss as they moan lovingly. The scene then cuts to the festival where the Shlorpians get ready.

Shlorpian Frankie: I am so excited!

Shlorpian Louise: I know! This is our chance to finally it in!

Korvo watches from the distance and sighs

Korvo: Oh boy… this won’t end well…

We then cut to the festival

Shlorpian Cooke: Alright guys, just like we planned!

All: Right!

Then hilarity ensues. First, Shlorpian Ms. Perez tries to talk to the local while making a strange sci-fi cocktail. But then it starts spewing

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: Oh shit, sorry!

The glass exploded as it knocks towards a BBQ Grill that started a fire!

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: That's not good.

Then, the scene cuts to the music performance where Shlorpian Cooke interrupted the audience.

Shlorpian Cooke: Hey Earth-4! If you love this performance, check this out!

Shlorpian Cooke uses the crystal ray but then it a hits a giant wooden warrior that turns into a crystal and shatters into pieces. The audience’s flame torches go out upon this reaction and they all turn to Shlorpian Cooke, Shlorpian Trevor and Shlorpian Randall in fury.

Shlorpian Cooke: Uh...

Shlorpian Randall: *tries to cool things down* Hey! Let’s hear it for the song… “Closing Time”!

The audience starts yelling angrily. The audience then forms into a mob as they summon weapons and jeers at the three human men turn Shlorpians.

Shlorpian Trevor: Oh shit.

Shlorpian Randall: Fucking run?

Shlorpian Cooke: Oh hell yeah! Fucking run!

The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Frankie trying to fix a broken carousel.

Shlorpian Frankie: Alright… almost there… just have to get the screw loose and-

Suddenly, the screw comes out and it hits a fruit punch truck that explodes into the senior home.

Senior Home Staff Member: Alright seniors, *opens the window* Let’s open these windows so the world can see your nice white clothes.

The fruit punch flood heads into the senior home as the seniors gets caught it in. The scene then cuts to a janitor who is mopping as the fruit flood spills out punch, but ignores it because he is listening to music. The scene then cuts an old man finishing a memoir in red ink.

Old Man Alien: Oh, it’s finally finished. A memoir of my life, written in red ink. *fruit punch flood comes in and covers up the memoir* Oh… barnacle chips.

Shlorpian Louise: *looks at the destruction of the flood* Uh… Frankie?

Shlorpian Frankie notices the destruction and gasps

Shlorpian Frankie: Oh…. Shit.

Old Woman Alien: Get them!

The senior aliens form a mob that attack the humans turned Shlorpians

Shlorpian Frankie: Fucking run guys!

The Shlorpians kept running as fast as they can as the mob kept throwing stuff at them.

Shlorpian Cooke: Aw man, is this how the Solars felt?!

Shlorpian Frankie: I think so.

Shlorpian Randall: Aw man, forget eating like a local! Forget partying like a local! We should’ve have listen to Korvo!

Shlorpian Louise sighs.

Shlorpian Louise: Yep. This our life now.

Suddenly... The Shlorpians see a ship crashing near their house and gasp.

Shlorpian Cooke: What the fuck? Is that a spaceship?!

Shlorpian Trevor: I think so. Let’s follow it and- *screams one of the mob throws a bottle at him but luckily he dodged it*

The Shlorpians arrive at the ship.

Human Korvo: *arriving with his family* What’s going on?!

Shlorpian Louise: We're being chased!

Shlorpian Randall: Today was horrible! We try to fit in better, but we fucked things up!

Human Terry: Don't worry. I got this.

Human Terry heads out and decided to deal with the mob.

Human Terry: SHUT IT!

The mob is silence. Human Terry breathes heavily.

Human Terry: What the fuck is wrong with you people?! I know these Shlorpians screw up but, they were just trying to fit in on this planet ever since they came here. Just like me and my family did? I know what they did was wrong but, they were just trying to make Earth-4 feel like home. You should all be ashamed of yourselves! So what are you gonna do about it?!

Mob Member: Well-

Suddenly, the door opens from the ship as it reveals a purple Shlorpian that surprisingly looks like Korvo. Human Korvo turns around and gasps.

Human Korvo: It-it can’t be… Janiz?

Human Yumyulack: Auntie Janiz?

Janiz: Korvo? Is that you? What happened to you?

Human Korvo burst into tears of joys and embrace his big sister while the Shlorpians grow surprised. Human Terry smiles.

Human Korvo: *sniffles* I-I thought I lost you forever…

Janiz: I'm so glad you're alive...

Shlorpian Louise: Wait. Korvo, you know this Shlorpian?

Human Korvo: Yeah, she's my sister.

The Shlorpians froze in shock and surprise

Shlorpians: YOUR WHAT?!

Then, a pink AI appears.

Pink AI: *sing-songy* Hello!

Human Korvo: *gasps* EVA?!

EVA: Korvo! You’re here and… *notices Korvo’s human form* wow. You look different since the last time I saw you.

Human Korvo: Thanks. I learnt to shapeshift when I was on Earth...

Human Jesse turns to face the mob with an angry expression

Human Jesse: ALL OF YOU! JUST GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

The mob leaves in fear as Human Terry puts a hand on Human Jesse's shoulder

Human Terry: Nice going honey.

Human Jesse smiles and turns back into her Shlorpian form

Jesse: Thanks daddy.

Jesse hugs Human Terry, who turns back into his Shlorpian form. Then, the scene cuts back to Janiz overjoyed to see her brother again while AISHA appears. The rest of the family turns into their Shlorpian forms.

AISHA: Hey dummies. What up and- *recognizes EVA and gasp* EVA?! You’re here?!

EVA: Hey, cous!

AISHA smiles in tears of joy and laughs as she embraces her cousin.

AISHA: Oh God, I missed you so much.

EVA: D'aw, I missed you too!

Then, Janiz notices Yumyulack.

Janiz: Yumyulack?! *squeals in joy* Oh my god! *hugs Yumyulack tightly but carefully* Look how big you grown! I haven’t seen you since you were a baby!

Yumyulack *laughs* Good to see you too!

Janiz then gasp in joy upon seeing Terry, Jesse and the Pupa.

Janiz: Oh my God. Is this your lifemate?

Terry blushes and smiles

Korvo: Terry is more than actually. He is also my husband.

Korvo shows his wedding ring

Janiz: *gasp in joy and hugs Terry* Then that makes you my handsome brother in law. Thank you for taking care of my little brother.

Terry: *laughs* Anytime.

Jesse: Yay! *hugs Janiz* I always wanted a aunt! Hi Auntie Janiz! I’m your niece!

Janiz laughs. Then, Janiz sees Replicant Sonya holding Pupa.

Janiz: Oh and who is this Replicant holding your Pupa?

Replicant Sonya: Oh, I'm not a replicant. I'm a human who turned into a replicant. I'm Sonya, by the way.

Janiz: Wait? What?!

Korvo: Oh don’t worry. That’s actually your human niece and our daughter, Sonya. We adopted her.

Janiz gasps.

Janiz: As in… I’m an aunt?! Again?! *hugs Replicant Sonya, who giggles* Oh my God! I can’t believe I got a brother-in-law, a niece, human niece and a baby nephew! *notices the other Shlorpians* Wait, who are these other Shlorpians?

Shlorpian Cooke: We were humans too. *laughs nervously*

Janiz: What?! You guys were once humans?! What happened?!

Shlorpian Cooke: Some crazy woman stole samples of your brother and your family’s blood DNA and created a powerful mist that turned us into Shlorpians!

Janiz gasps

Shlorpian Phoebe: Oh and hey. I’m your family’s nanny Phoebe. I was human once too.

Janiz: Oh no. I am so sorry.

Shlorpian Phoebe: It's okay.

Shlorpian Frankie: We don’t even know who that woman is but luckily Korvo is finding a way to turn us back, which is very hard because that woman took all of his testings. So we have to live here now until we can be humans again.

Shlorpian Randall: We can’t even go back to Earth. The rest of the humans hates us now.

Janiz sighs

Janiz: Well as long as I am here, mind if EVA and I live with you guys?

Korvo smiles tearfully and hugs Janiz

Korvo: *crying with happiness* Of course you can. Welcome home Janiz.

Janiz smiles

Janiz: Thank you lil bro…

Later, Korvo and Terry are in bed. Korvo is reading Vogue.

Korvo: Very interesting story.

Korvo suddenly goes into labor

Korvo: *breathing in and out* Whoa. I think my water just broke.

Terry: What?! Shit! JANIZ! KIDS! GET IN HERE! HURRY!

Janiz and the kids came in.

Janiz: Korvo! What’s wrong?!

Korvo: JANIZ! KIDS! THE BABY’S COMING!

Terry: Korvo's in labor!

Janiz and the kids gasp.

Janiz: Don’t worry little bro! I’m here!

Korvo starts crying out in pain

Korvo: *breathing in and out as he started pushing* Oh god! Oh god! *cries out in pain*

Jesse: Come on, Korvo! Push!

Korvo: *grunting as he keeps pushing*

Yumyulack: Do it! You got this!

Korvo snaps

Korvo: OH GOOOOOOOD! *almost there* FUUUCK! IT HURRRTTTSSS! AAAAAAAAH!

Janiz: I see the head!

Korvo: *about to finish pushing* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Suddenly, a baby crying is heard

Korvo: *gasp as tears fall form his eyes* Is that… our baby?

Janiz picks up the baby who is still crying

Janiz: Congratulations, it’s a beautiful girl!

Korvo laughs with tears in his eyes

Korvo: *reaching out for the baby* Oh, come to daddy!

Janiz hands the baby to Korvo

Korvo: Hey there sweetie…

The baby stops crying when she sees Korvo

Terry: Aw Korvy, she’s looking at you…

Korvo: She’s like a beautiful flowery sprouted with hope… I think we should name her Lili.

Terry: *sniffles* I love it.

Lili: *babbling as he touches Terry’s face*

Terry laughs

Terry: Welcome to the world Lili Solar-Opposites…

Korvo: *tears of joy* Oh Terry! I'm so happy!

Terry: *tears of joy* So am I.

The two alien husbands kiss while moaning

Yumyulack, Jesse, Pupa and Sonya: *falling in love with their new baby sister* Aaaw…

The next morning, Korvo and Terry are sleeping with Lili sleeping between them

Lili: *cooing while sleeping*

Terry wakes up and yawns. He looks at Korvo and Lili sleeping and smiles.

Terry: Good morning…

Korvo: Mmm… good morning darling.

Korvo kisses Terry on the cheek

Lili: *coos*

Terry: Hey, Lili. *kisses Lili on the forehead*

Lili: *giggling*

Korvo: Ready to start the day?

Terry: *picks up Lili* Hell yeah I am!

Korvo and Terry kiss on the lips and head out. Terry then hands Lili over to Korvo as he smiles while Korvo starts chatting with the kids. But then, an orange colored flashback vision appears with monster sounds.

Terry: *terrified by the vision* Wh-wha?!

The monster is then seen hanging while baby Jesse is seen crying.

Terry: *breathing in and out as he suddenly sees the Mundane*

Terry screams as the vision stops. Korvo gasps and runs to his husband's side.

Korvo: Terry? It’s okay! I’m here *calms down Terry with a hug as Terry smiles and calms down* You poor thing. You must be facing a termoil. It’s okay… I’m here…

Terry: You're warm.

Korvo: Of course I am. Don’t worry Terry, there’s nothing to be scared of. Whatever comes, we’ll get through it. Together.

Terry: Thanks Korvy…

The two alien husbands kiss. Then, Korvo heads to the kids, who are playing with Lili. Terry then starts to grow nervous.

Terry: *to himself* What's wrong with me?

THE END?

[lovelykhaleesiii]

shdhdbsjebh- I loved the modern!fuck boy! Aegon a.u sm!! It just scratches my brain fr 🤭 and bc I can and nonnie said I can, I think I WILL do a blurb so I hope I do it justice!

Aegon Targaryen the second. How do you even begin to explain Aegon Targaryen the second?

Man child? Yes.

Trust fund baby? Yes.

Totally obnoxious? Yes.

And the total bane of your entire existence? Yes.

You've known him since middle school when he dropped into your school when his insanely rich C.E.O father - and his very young, almost too young - wife moved to the big city of New York. You normally weren't the one to judge as you also came from an insanely wealthy family but even then, there was something off about him. The way he would smirk at you if you so much as stuttered a single word durning an important presentation. Or got just one mark down from his on a test, quiz, or even a simple homework assignment. Not that he even would try, he much rather cut school to smoke week or ditch homework and sneak out to clubs where he could easily get in when he was underaged. And you still feel the same about him years later.

"I can't believe your dad actually let you open a speak easy," you say. You and him had unfortunately been paired up for an almost months long project worth eighty percent of your grade and he had somehow managed to drag you from your house to his club he had opened to apparently show his father he could be responsible.

"What?" He says, faking shock. "I do know responsibility. I am going to be the heir someday."

"Oh? Is that so?"

"You know it."

You sit in silence as you begin to watch men and women go on the stage and do basically strip teases. You roll your eyes.

"Oh, come on," Aegon says, nudging you, "you can't tell me you are this uptight that going up there and dancing isn't fun!"

"It looks fun," you admit, "but this project is worth a lot and I don't particularly like you-"

He cuts you off. "I don't particularly like you either, little miss perfect. But I like fun!"

You sigh. " you know...I have moves."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

Aegon takes your drink and before you can argue, he says, "show me then." But you can tell he is only joking.

"You don't actually think i'd go up there, do you?"

He shakes his head. "Not a chance."

Of course.

"Fine. Guard my drink."

As you dance, you miss Aegon getting up and his eyes following you as you do a dance.

"Who's that girl?" A person asks, just as hypnotized as Aegon was.

He stares you in shock and awe. "I have no idea."

A few hours later, you were now semi-carrying a very drunk Aegon back to your place. Why were you carrying your long time drunk enemy back to your place instead of his own? Well, as fate would have it, your New York pent house was just six minutes walking distance from Aegon's club. Much easier and quicker to get to. You sit him on the bed in your guest room you had set up.

The next morning, as you cook breakfast, you decide to text Aegon and tell him to get the hell out of your house.

You: morning, loser! Now, get out of my house! :)

Aegon: my head hurts.

You: didn't ask plus I don't care. Now. Get out of my house!

Aegon: are you cooking bacon?

You: For me.

Aegon: what? I don't get anything? You wound me.

You: awe, beat my still bleeding heart. The only thing you're going to get is a splash of bleach if you don't get your smelly ass out of my bed and leave!

Aegon: jesus, alright, alright. I'm going. Where is your shower?

You: down the hall to the right. You can't miss it.

Aegon couldn't help it. After his shower, he came out to the kitchen, grabbing a plate. Sure enough, you had enough for two. He smirked as an idea formed in his head. You were currently "burning" the guest room sheets after he had slept in them so you would be gone for at least four minutes....

Just as you placed the truly disgusting sheets into the washer, your phone dings. When you take it out, it's a notification from twitter. @therealaegont has tagged you in (1) post. You roll your eyes as you press on the notification.

It takes you to a post with a picture. A picture of the food he was eating. The food you had cooked. He had tagged your username and put the caption as love it when my wife makes me breakfast :)

You make a disgusted face before going to reply.

Not your wife, fuck face :)

A couple moments after you press send, you hear faint laughing from the other room.

This was going to be a long project.

OMG NONNIE I LOVE THIS !!!! gahhhhd this was so good, is it wrong that I want more ?! that slow burn romance is real & making me feral 😫🥵🥵🥵

[cattatonically]

Want You Bad - Day 6

This is part of a series for #sterekvalentineweek - I would suggest reading them in order.

What you can generally expect - hilarity, chaos, mishaps, slow burn, strong language, and vague descriptions of some minor criminal activity.

I hope you have as much fun on this adventure as I did!

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5

“Now you’re just being rude and petty,” Stiles grumbled as Jordan dragged him out of the back of the cruiser by his elbow. At least he hadn’t put him in handcuffs. Stiles was even more frustrated when he saw Jackson’s obnoxious Porsche pull into the parking lot of the Sheriff’s station.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Stiles.” He could hear the glee in Jordan’s voice, as they marched right into the station.

“Aw, hell kid. What did you get up to now?” The disappointment in his dad’s voice hurt more than the scrapes and cuts all over his face, neck, and arms. The one day he left his flannel in his jeep, and it had to be today.

“He was sneaking around my rose bushes, Sheriff,” Jackson answered for him.

“I was not sneaking! I was conducting surveillance! Your rose bushes just happened to get in my way.” Noah gave his son The Look. Stiles hadn’t been on the receiving end of that look for a while.

“Parrish?”

“We got a call to the non-emergency line about a suspicious person. Derek and I flipped a coin, and I won, so I went to check it out. And that’s how I found Stiles tangled in Mr. Whittemore’s rose bushes.” Stiles could look. But he didn’t have to. He knew Jordan was enjoying this thoroughly.

“How you have a successful business when you’re like this is well beyond me,” said a new voice from the doorway of Noah’s office. Stiles groaned - internally and out loud - by the look of pure amusement on Derek’s face. Well. This was just turning into an entire station affair, now wasn’t it? Noah sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Do we know who placed the call?”

“I did!” Jackson said proudly.

“Of course you did, ya dick,” Stiles grumbled at him.

“Language,” Noah, Jordan and Derek all muttered at the same time.

“Are you for real right now?” Stiles was summarily ignored as his dad addressed Jackson.

“Do you plan on pressing charges?”

“Oh no. Not at all.” This caught Stiles’ attention.

“Then what the actual hell, Jax?”

“Oh, I just wanted to watch you get arrested. It was the highlight of my week! Wait til I show Peter the video.” Stiles just stood there, dumbfounded. Then he turned to his dad.

“I need new friends. I’m closing up shop and fucking off to Bora Bora.” The fact that he wasn’t chastised for his language meant something. What, Stiles wasn’t sure. But he was sure it would likely come back to bite him sometime. His dad just huffed a small chuckle at him.

“You have fun with that, kid. Parrish? We done here?”

“Yeah, Sheriff. We’re done.”

“Great. Get the hell out of my office. Stiles? You stay here. I’ll call Peter to come pick you up.”

“Don’t you mean you’ll call Kira? You know, my business partner?”

“Oh no. Not a chance.”

“Fantastic.” Stiles slumped in the seat across from his dad’s desk - one he was overly familiar with.

“I would highly suggest tending to your scrapes.” Stiles had forgotten that Derek was still in the room, and nearly jumped out of his seat when he heard his voice.

“Yeah. Uh. I’ll get right on that,” he mumbled.

“And Stiles?”

“Yeah, Derek?”

“Try not to get arrested again today. I have two hours left of my shift, and I am in no mood for paperwork.” With that, Derek turned on his heel and left the office.

Stiles turned back to his dad, and noticed the smirk and the raised eyebrow.

“Oh god, just call Peter, or kill me now,” he groaned.

“You know, son, you really could put yourself out of your misery if you just asked Derek out on a date.”

“You have no idea how much I absolutely cannot do that.”

“Whatever you say son,” Noah sighed. Then he picked up his phone and made the call to Peter to, as Noah said it, ‘come collect his son’s dumb ass’.

Stiles could feel the love. Truly.

[occult-roommates]

Sul sul to Sulani

After a 10 hours flight, the roommates finally made it to Sulani, though on top of that they had to wait an extra two hours for Dawud’s flight to show up, since he was still in his Arizonan hometown. Like, would have been a bit of a waste of time for him to fly back to San Myshuno just to be with his friends, and then fly to Sulani. Now, the group was rushing themselves to go to their vacation house, as the Sulani sun is not exactly vampire friendly, the heat was killing Rudi, and Daniele just wanted to finally be at the destination.

Daniele: Dude, I missed you so much! Dawud: I’ve been gone for five days. Daniele: It was too much for me. Rudi: Ok you two calm down...By the way, Dawud, count yourself lucky you weren’t in the plane with us. I was sitting next to Daniele and he spent the entire flight watching episodes of Aircrash Investigation and then giggling when I said it’s making me uncomfortable. Daniele: What, it was actually very interesting ok, I learnt a lot of stuff! Like, did you know the deadliest plane crash in history happened in the Canary Islands of all place? I didn’t know that. And it even happened on my mom’s 10th birthday. Rudi: My dad died in a plane crash you asshole! Daniele: Well you should have said it, bruh I can’t read your mind! Dawud: Even then, that’s still a bit rude to do Dan... Kino: You think that’s bad? I got my period during the flight! Like great, the trip has barely started yet and it’s already ruined... Dawud: Your...You have that??? Kino: Well, if we ignore the part Sixamians only have one sex, we reproduce pretty much like Earthlings, so keeping that in mind it’s pretty obvious I would. Daniele: Duh. Dawud: Ok, sorry for not ever thinking about alien menstruations I guess??? Akva: At least that means you’re not pregnant. Fuck, how will my friend react uh? I should have tell her in advance fuuuuuck... Charlie: Will you please hurry up I’m gonna burn alive if you don’t move right now!

The reason for this trip was because Akva got invited by her best friend from high school, June, to come visit her, and she’ll be the one hosting them during their vacations. The two hadn’t seen each other in forever, as June moved to Sulani as soon as she graduated. The reason for that is she moved there to study environmental science and then do work as a oceanic wildlife conservationist. To her, saving the ocean is a major issues, especially for Sulani, which is deeply affected by climate change by virtue of being a tiny island country in Polynesia, located around 50 miles south of Hawaii.

June: AKVAMAREEN!!

As soon as the young woman saw her friend, she rushed down the stairs and jumped on her to hug her. However, Akva quickly pushed her away, because...you know.

Akva: Please be careful... June: Why...OH! Uh...Are you...Wait...No way?? Akva: Yeah..................That’s why I’m dressed in these awful leggings that look straight out of a Facebook MLM, none of my clothes fit anymore and I got desperate. June: When you said you had a big new for me and were bringing new people I thought you had gotten a girlfriend. Girl, what the fuck! Akva: By the way, I see you’re still super short. June: Miss Singh, don’t try to switch the topic on me...Also who even is the dad?? Akva: Remember last winter when I dated Jay for like two months before realizing I’m a lesbian... June: REALLY? DOES HE EVEN KNOW?? HE’S ALSO IN SULANI RIGHT NOW AND HE DIDN’T TOLD ME???

Akva did some sort of middle point between cringing and smiling, then shook her head. Then, the realization Jay was also on the island right now horrified her...Well, seems like she won’t be able to keep the secret for long. All of this noise outside attracted the attention of the actual owner of the house, a world famous professional surfer...Though to June, she’ll forever be her beloved older sister.

June: So, anyway, hello Akvamareen’s friends. My name is June Crosdale, I’m 20 years old and I love sea turtles. And this is my big sister Antoinette Crosdale, she is 25 years old, she loves surfing and also cheesy rom-com. Dawud: June and ANTOINETTE??? Is it just me or do the vibe of these two names doesn’t fit? It would be like if I had a brother named Jean-Claude. June: And we also have an older sister named Eduarda. Toni: Well, Antoinette is my birth name, but pretty much everyone calls me simply Toni. It’s just June who’s weirdly insistant on always calling people by their full name. Rudi: I don’t think I ever told y’all but my full name is Rudder.

As this whole name thing was going on, Kino stood there, in awe of Toni. Her dyed blue hair, her smooth dark skin, Kino could only think one thing...

Oh my Llama, she’s gorgeous!

Prev - Next

[dylanblack03]

This is an excerpt from Chapter 5.

Lunchtime rolled around and I didn’t have any plans. Hanging around outside the front of the school was as good an idea as any. Not that anybody would come looking for me. My face was stone as I made my way out the doors, ignoring the loud bang that startled my classmates. Annoyance fueled my every move and I could care less about some whiny teenagers too caught up in their own worlds. There were greater things to worry about. My mom’s face flashed in my eyes and anger burned through my blood once more. Our argument still rang through my ears past the music blasting through my headphones. She was always just getting on my ass now that Dick was going off to college. I’m older now, when will I start taking things more seriously? Why couldn’t I just be more like smart, charming, perfect Dick- There was always just more that she wanted from me, I was never just enough! Nothing was ever good enough. He’s not even her bloodchild! Why does she care about him so much over me, her biological child?

An engine rumbled and I was tempted to also ignore it, but goddamn it. One glance up and annoyance flared once more. Chris. Think of one brother, and the other will of course show up. Fucking assholes. A scowl settled on my face, not for the first time. The hell was he doing here? He never came to see me. His fists were clenched and jaw tightened. His eyes were dark with rage. He looked as pissed off as I felt and I welcomed the coming challenge. I could feel my posture straightening as he stalked over to me. Not one to back down, I met him in the middle. We stood face to face, close to the edge of the sidewalk. Silence passed between us and anyone could feel the tension. It was a showdown between two opposing forces, a hurricane and a volcano meeting in an awful display of destruction. The wind of the hurricane brushed against my face. Birds were chirping through the harsh winds, distant and muffled. It was tense and still, like waiting for the pin to drop in the silence.

Chris crossed his arms in front of his chest, not a surrender but a truce. “Hey Vi. How are you?” The rage hadn’t dissipated, I could see it dwelling beneath the surface, but I decided to humour him at his pathetic attempt.

I gave him my fakest, happiest grin. “Oh, I’m great! I’m only moving in with Dad in about two weeks!” My chipperest voice was so fucking fake, it was almost funny. “No biggie or anything though, right?” I wish I could say I was happy to see him but it would be a damn lie. He did nothing wrong, technically, none of this was his fault, but no member of our fucked up family was innocent in this whole mess of a situation.

He hums, eyes narrowing. “I’m pissed that Mom’s making you do that.” Yeah, well you didn’t do anything to stop it, did you? I snarked back in my mind. But I didn’t bother saying that.

“Mom probably thinks that since I only have one more year left, it wouldn’t be worth it to make me move to Nevada with her and John,” The name was poison in my mouth, but I carried on, “Which is, you know, bullshit, but it’s fine. Totally fine.” It was not fine. None of this was fine, but what can I do to change it. Mom’s right, This is my last year but that seemed like decades at this point. I would rather off myself than have to deal with any more of Dad’s obnoxious bullshit. But that wasn’t something Chris would understand. Nobody understands.

Slowly, the hurricane seemed to calm, and Chris’ shoulders relaxed as his arms fell to his sides. A thoughtful expression came across his face, pensieve for only a moment before it broke. The anger was ever-present, it would always be like that for the two of us, but it faded away into the calm before a storm. His brown eyes brightened, and I could see the plan brewing behind his growing smirk. I braced myself for whatever may come out of his mouth.

A light smile played on his lips. “What if you didn’t have to live with Dad? I can move into the house and we can live together. If you’d prefer it.” He said it as though it were easy and simple and not a life-changing sentence.

My breath hitched. He would do that for me? I didn’t even need to think before I reached out. He took the bait and pulled me close, clinging to each other. I pictured it. The two of us together in our childhood home, life being as easy as it once was. Maybe in this fantasy world, I even had friends. I’d invite them over, we’d hang out, they’d see my cool older brother and fawn over him like the best friends in all teen dramas. I’d roll my eyes and they’d giggle, and we’d move on, enjoying our together. It was a nice sentiment… It was an impossible sentiment.

"Please,” I plead with him. “I don’t think I could handle living with Dad again.” Not again, not on my own. Not without someone there to help me. I’m eighteen, damn it, but the prospect reduced me to the little girl being hid away by her big brother in a closet, rocked by herself as she listened to loud voices through the thin walls. God, I hated being like this. I hate being vulnerable, I tried every day to put up a brave face so nobody could fuck with me, but I couldn’t help it. I squeezed tighter, taking in shallow breaths. Chris understood though. I don’t know why I doubted he would, even in my anger. He’s always understood. He was the brother I always could depend on. Even now, he wanted to go out on an impossible limb to convince our mother that he could keep me close and keep me safe.

I felt him nodding, chin bumping against my head. “I’ll need to talk to Mom, and maybe come up with some house rules or whatever. I’m gonna take care of you, I promise.” He kissed my head.

I nod in turn, “I’m okay with that.” I’m surprised to say I really was. I trusted Chris more than anyone. Guilt crept in that I was so ready to fight him earlier, but I was more embarrassed than anything. I pulled away, brushing under my eyes, careful not to smudge my eyeliner more than it already was. I ignored his knowing look as I blinked away any tears. Hopefully nobody fucking saw that, holy shit. If any of my classmates ever did, I’d murder them on the spot and feed their corpses to the pigs on Elm Street.

I didn’t even realize living with Chris was a possibility. Getting out of living with my dad and not being with my stepfamily either would be more than ideal. I’m sure it will be okay with Mom too. The bitch doesn’t give a fuck. Plus, she knows he’s responsible, she knows we’re close. I wasn’t as worried about convincing her.

A horn honking from behind Chris caught our attention, high-pitched and squeaky. I peered around him to see a vaguely familiar figure sitting smugly on a motorcycle. He pulled off his helmet to reveal wild, black hair and colorful streaks, snake bites piercing his lip. Was that… Jasper? Jasper had been one of Chris’ best friends when we were growing up, I hadn’t realized the two were still friends. His style had changed though. Throughout their high school years, Jasper had transitioned from being a little more my style to a little more Chris’. It was nice to see he finally went back to his roots. I grinned a little, watching as he swung his legs off the motorcycle and bounded towards us.

“You remember Jasper, right?” Chris patted his friend’s back harshly, causing the other to stumble. “I know it’s been a while but he insisted on coming with.”

“How could I forget that iconic emo hair?” I teased, feeling far more amicable than I have in a while. Chris was right, it had been a while since I’d seen him. I didn’t expect him to be this attractive still. The more punk style definitely fit him far more than Chris’ weirdly preppy one did, what with his dark hair and pretty green eyes. Chris caught my eye with a look, and I ducked my head.

Jasper sighs dramatically, “I didn’t think that would be all you remember me from.” His hair flopped in his face and ruined the moment for him, but he didn’t seem bothered.

I smirk goodnaturedly back at him. “Of course that’s all I remember, it was your signature look.”

“I thought I’d finally convinced him to move on from his dreams of kissing Frank Iero but alas,” Chris swept his head to the side, hand daintily resting on his forehead. “Success was not made for me in this battle.” Jasper’s grin was as energetic yet mischievous as it had always been and I felt a little giddy feeling creeping up in my chest as the two continued to bicker back and forth.

“Excuse you, who wouldn’t want to kiss that man? He’s hot as fuck and he plays guitar!”

“Those are very low standards.”

“This is why you don’t have a girlfriend. Your standards are too high. Pick a talent and fall in love with literally anyone who has it like the rest of us basic bitches.”

“God no.”

“Why, is Jasper not good enough for you then?” I interject, watching as Jasper lit up at the comment and Chris turned red. “Just because he can’t keep high grades and not talk about Sleeping with Sirens every five minutes? Can he not receive well enough for you?” I ignored Jasper’s indignant little ‘Hey!’ in favor of watching my brother flounder to find a response. It was very reminiscent of the times after one of Chris’ football games in which we teamed up to absolutely embarrass the shit out of him for ogling the other team.

“Keep your damn mouth shut,” He hissed, face as red as a tomato. We laughed our asses off as he turned away, stomping off the to the car. “I’m going back to the car! Lemme know when you’re ready to leave, Jasper.”

The laughter died off and suddenly it was just Jasper and I standing side by side. It wasn’t an awkward silence, perfectly comfortable, but words didn’t seem like enough. I had an inkling Jasper followed after Chris for a reason, probably to keep him in check. Chris was outwardly the perfect student and role model for many people who knew him; he’d been well-liked, popular, and very nearly the valedictorian. But his anger, when left unchecked, was explosive. It was a family trait, I guess. I was very easily reminded of the anger that was coursing through my veins earlier. Our rage was a quick hellfire bent on the destruction of everything in our paths. Chris and I were no exceptions. Now, though it lingered in the back of my mind, I was content enough to relish in the presence of two people I had depended on throughout my harsh childhood.

“He cares about you, you know,” Jasper breached the quiet. I turned to see his green eyes trained on my brother’s retreating back. He seemed happy too and I was glad. “A lot.”

“I know.” I did. It was a nice feeling to know at least somebody cared for me.

“If you need anything, Vi, we’ll be here for you. Both of us.”

“I know,” I repeated. I could hear the sincerity in his voice. It erased doubts I didn’t have. It erased any lingering thoughts that I would be alone come near the future, surrounded by demons lurking in my head and in my house. No mother having impossible expectations, no dad to terrify me. It was just me and Chris, and now Jasper, I suppose. Oddly enough, I was fine with that too.

Jasper hugged me one last time, pressing a quick kiss to the top of my head, before following after Chris and I listened to the echoes of their laughter as they both readied their leave. They waved in unison at me, starting up their vehicles. The bell rang just in time. I watch fondly as they disappear into the distance before I make my way back inside. I grinned to myself, my anger dispelled.

[theveryworstthing]

So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class.  I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got  natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace.  I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.  

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway.  This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

[hello-nichya-here]

Uh stupid question because I didn't pay attention... how did Ozai abuse Azula apart from abandoning her before burning the Earth Kingdom? If you want to, you could even make a list

Just like Ozai's abuse of Zuko started long before he ever gave that boy a scar, his abuse of Azula is quite clear in the show, and the only reasons people miss it are:

1 - He never physically abused her

2 - When showing what life at the palace is like, the narrative focuses almost exclusively on Zuko (who has a physical, undeniable evidence of abuse literally burned on his face, and who Azula often acted as an antagonist to in the story)

Let me get to the specifics so you understand.

Conditional "Love"

Let’s get the biggest misconception the fandom has about Ozai and Azula’s relationship out of the way: Ozai doesn’t care about Azula, and that is VERY CLEAR, even back in “Zuko Alone” when she was just eight years old. Ozai is a terrible father to Zuko, yes, but that doesn’t automatically means he was a good parent to Azula.

“But she is his favorite!” Yeah, she’s his favorite weapon. His favorite soldier. There isn’t a single scene in the entire series in which Ozai isn’t using Azula as some kind of prised possession that he can show off to people and is instead treating her like a kid he is proud of and LOVES, or having some normal father-daughter time with her, or having a meal with her, or showing her any amount of care, or demonstrating that he is aware of (or interested in knowing about) anything that is going on in her personal life. Not a single one. For fuck’s sake, even Iroh giving her that stupid doll was sweeter than anything did for her, and even Toph just saying “You’re pretty good, I admit that” during the invasion was more genuine than any affection Ozai showed her.

Azula is only his favorite because she is a prodigy. Ozai doesn’t give a shit who she is as a person, and if she were to ever lose her bending or fail to meet his expectations, he would immediately start despising her.

Fear, Mimicking And Scapegoats

When we look at many of Azula's words and actions, we can see that A LOT of it is obviously her immitating Ozai (90% of all the awful things she said in "Zuko Alone" were obviously things she heard from Ozai, and in Black Sun the show basically screamed SHE'S COPYING HER DAD when they added that transition from Ozai manipulating Zuko to Azula manipulating Sokka). That's something very important to take into consideration when discussing her character, but ESPECIALLY when looking into how she was abused.

It is VERY common for abuse victims to (conciously or not) try to copy their abuser and praise themso they'll be seen as being a loyal friend/relative/partner that is on their side, and not as a potential target. It is also very common for abusive parents to favor one kid over the other - and for “the golden child” to be terrified of ever becoming the scapegoat that is blamed for every misfortune and that can’t do anything right. Azula’s lines of “You can’t treat me like that, you can’t treat me like Zuko!” and “I deserve to be by your side!” come to mind.

That shows us that she is aware her father’s “love” for her is conditional, and that her being a prodigy who knows what to say to him is the ONLY reason why she is not treated like her brother.

Which brings us to two other major things that are over-looked: Being forced to witness abuse is a form of abuse, and psychologists have found that it is very common for the eldest child to be seen by their younger siblings as example of what to do AND what not to do. Ozai burned his son, his heir, in front a crowd - that included his 11-year-old daughter. That was him punishing Zuko, yes, but it was also him sending everyone, including Azula, a very clear message “Don’t EVER piss me off, no matter how important you think you might be, or else.” The novelizations of the show make that even clearer when it has Azula explicitly terrified of being disfigured when Ozai yells at her in the finale.

Impossible Standards

Let’s go back to that “I deserve to be by your side” line. By that point, Ozai had ONE “justification” to be a douch-bag to her: she lied to him about Zuko killing the Avatar. However, he wasn’t really acting any different in the episodes before he found out about that.

Let’s think about what he asked of her: Capture Zuko and Iroh. She captured Iroh, conquered Ba Sing Se, and brought him an extra heir that he believes is so powerful and strong that he killed the Avatar. She went above and beyond for her father, and it wasn’t enough. And even when you consider that Zuko “killed” Aang and Ozai put him at his right hand, the bastard still didn’t properly invite him to the meeting, and there’s no way he didn’t know this was going to fuck with Zuko’s mind. And Ursa killed his father and forged his will, allowing him to be Fire Lord, and also sparing him from having to kill one of his heirs, and was rewarded by being banished.

Nothing anyone does is ever enough for Ozai, nor will it ever be, and the show straight up rejects the idea that Azula is the exception to this. Zuko said that Ozai used to say that Azula was born lucky while he was lucky to be born, which yeah is a horrible thing to say to his son, but it's also him dismissing all of Azula's talent, effort and success as dumb luck, which is just heartbreaking considering how hard she works to please him. Her introduction episode has her chastising herself for having one hair out of place while practicing her firebending because almost isn't good enough. The mere fact that Azula tried to hide the possibility of Aang having survived, even after all of her acomplishments, shows that Ozai doesn't forgive mistakes and/or failures from anyone, not even his "favorite".

Emotional Isolation/Manipulation

Ozai is a manipulative bastard. He knows how to make his victims stand with him when they shouldn't and even blame themselves for the awful things he does to them. Once again, Azula is not the exception.

The earliest example we can see of that is in "Zuko Alone." The things Azula says about the potential/real deaths of her family members and the grief her other relatives are experiencing are disturbing... but not just because of how it affects the people she says those things to.

Ask yourself: Who put all of these ideas in her head? Who made her think of her own family as obstacles to be dealt with? Who told her, an 8-year-old, that her grandfather was going to die? Who made this child believe that not only is there nothing wrong with a father not caring that his child is death, but also that it is a sign of weakness to care about someone in her family to die and for the others to mourn them? It was obviously Ozai.

And what are other things that he taught her? Again "Almost isn't good enough" aka, "You're not worth a goddamn thing unless you're absoultely perfect" (something no human can be, and something completely unfair to demand of anyone, especially of a child). He is not being unreasonable, oh no, obviously his traumatized kid is the problem.

"Fear is the only reliable way" once again, a terrible thing to teach to anyone, let alone a child, and yet another instance of Ozai avoding responsibility for his own actions - he is not threatening to everyone, including his children, because he's an abusive asshole, oh no, it is simply normal to use fear to control others. This one also has the bonus of giving Azula a completely warped idea of how human relationships work, to the point that, in the end, she has no one but her father.

And that wasn't the only way Ozai isolated Azula. "Your brother Zuko is a failure" "She was born lucky, I was lucky to be born." The bastard made damn sure that his two kids, his two victims, would never try to find support in each other - Azula because she'd be afraid of being seeing as a failure for reaching out to/caring about her brother, and Zuko because he was taught to believe that his misery and disgrace, as a natural consequence, would result in his sister happiness and glory. It worked so well that even when Zuko realized that Ozai was abusing him, it didn't even occour to him that maybe Azula wasn't having that great of a life either. Again, the result is Azula having no one but Ozai.

And how does he deal with the responsibility of being the only person she has left? He excludes her from the biggest moment in the war so he can have all the glory to himself AND devastating her since she quite clearly just wanted to make him proud and, like she said, just be by his side. But then, suddenly, he lets her know that he is counting on her to defend their home, and that it's such an important task he can't trust anyone but her to handle it, and as a reward, she will be Fire Lord! This recontextualizes every single one of his actions as being done for her own good, and for her future...

Except he will be Phoenix King. The title of Fire Lord means nothing now, so Azula being given that crown is nothing but an empty gesture that was meant to manipulate her - just like Ozai treating Zuko somewhat nicely after he "killed the Avatar", then suddenly going back to being a dick and not inviting him to the meeting, and then having him at his right hand, and, finally, trying to kill him the second he noticed he was no longer willing to be a puppet. Ozai gives zero fucks about the emotional needs of either of his kids, and has the habit of giving them the affection and validation they so desperately want, only to then take it away for no reason.

Child Soldier

This one is a bit more tricky since having teenagers and even kids actively fighting in the war is far too normalized in the world of Avatar, but when you look at it, Ozai still stands out as the most obviously bad parent of the bunch.

On the day of the invasion, there are a bunch of kids the same age as Azula, and even younger, fighting. However, the heroes have limited numbers so the kids being involved is far more justified, and the second everything is going to hell, the adults all surrender so the kids will have a chance to live to fight another day. Meanwhile, Ozai has an entire army, plus the Dai Li agents, and has Azula acting as bait without her bending, while he is hidden away. If Ozai gave a shit about his kids, they'd both be hidden away with him because, sure, the guards and especially the Dai Li can protect them, but he clearly still deemed too dangerous for himself... and had his favorite essentially acting as his shield. Again, when you combine this with him trying to kill Zuko for standing up to him AND his complete lack of compassion for Iroh when Lu Ten died AND the fact that he conspired to murder his own father, the message is very clear: if it means he'll survive/be king, Ozai has no problem with either of his kids dying - be it by an enemy attack or by his own hands.

Conclusion

Azula deserved better and Ozai can go fuck himself.

[dancingisdangerouss]

hi!! if youd like, could you do the grabber x male or gn reader who taunts him & doesnt show how terrified they are of him until he forces it out of them? thankyou! i hope ur having a good day :)

It ain't my best work, and I think I went a lil' OOC and kind of embodied one of my old OC's personas more so than The Grabber's character, but I hope it still works. Thank you for the request!

Warnings: Blood, threats, kidnapping, fearplay, pain

Sleep dispelled from your vision, slowly clearing with each groggy blink. You felt like shit, a massive headache reverberating around in your skull as you lifted your head from the mattress, your senses fogged as you scooted into a sitting position.

What had happened? You racked your pounding brain to try and remember, grappling at little puzzle pieces.

Balloons. Black balloons…and a van, maybe? Yeah, that was right, there had been a van, broken down on the side of the street, while a man fussed with the engine…With his head under the hood, he had asked if you would be so kind as to retrieve the jumper cables from the car, as he had his hands full.

Ah, that’s right. When you had ducked your head into the van to look for the cables, the jackass had clocked you right in the back of the head.

“Good morning.”

That voice.

You turned, finding yourself in what you could only surmise was this guy’s basement, empty save for the mattress. And him.

You hadn’t gotten all that great of a look at him in the first place, but he now donned a devilish mask, its smile resemblant of the Chesire Cat. Dark optics drilled into your soul, inducing a shiver along your spine.

The problem was, you were never all that good at handling fear. You were the kind of person to crack jokes during horror movies to diffuse the tension, to use snark and taunts to conceal your real emotions.

You hated feeling vulnerable; by making a joke out of the situation, you were able to calm your nerves, tricking your brain into thinking you were safe.

Squinting up at the man, you made a show of holding the side of your head with a groan. “Aw fuck, just how hammered did I get last night?”

The man stared wordlessly, taken aback. That probably wasn’t the reaction he usually got from his victims upon waking up in a strange basement.

“What? It’s a joke, dude.” You sat up, stretching your limbs and cracking your knuckles. “Anyway, what’s up? You need something, or am I just here for the hell of it?”

The mask cocked to the right. “You’re mocking me.”

“Sure am.” You cracked your neck, yawning. “You’re The Grabber, right? Guess you live up to your name. Seeing as, y’know, you grabbed me.”

Bewildered didn’t even cover it; The Grabber eyed you silently, at a loss for words, and you hoped he was beginning to regret his choice in kidnapee.

“Sooooo…” You clicked your tongue. “How’s this usually go? Am I supposed to beg? Or cry? I don’t know, man, gimme some direction here.”

“I don’t think you understand the position you’re in.”

“Oh no, I know, this is a kidnapping, right?” You shot him a thumbs-up. “I’m cool with that. My dad used to burn me with his cigarettes and lock me in the garage for days, so I’m totally up for whatever you wanna throw my way."

The Grabber moved now, inching closer, looking for all the world like a true demon as he reached the edge of the mattress, crouching down to align your faces at the same height.

“Well, it’s like they say,” he remarked, brushing a stray hair from your face. “Nothing good in this life ever came easy…So, that begs the question.” He tapped the tip of your nose with his index finger. “Are you good, Y/N? Are you worth my time?”

Every hair on your body stood at attention. How did he know your name? Steeling yourself, you retained your composure, feigning a smile. “The hell you asking me for? My friends would say I’m worth the time, but every teacher I’ve ever had would disagree...So, depends on who you ask.”

The Grabber rested his chin on his hand, contemplating you. “You don’t fear much, do you?”

“Mm, I’m afraid of never making something of myself or being able to live up to impossible standards.” You faked a look of sudden understanding. “Oh! You mean like ghosts and ghouls and all that? Nah, not really.”

“Never too late to change that.”

Before you could even think of an answer, he was on top of you. You stifled a yelp as he pinned you down against the mattress, his knees holding yours in place as he withdrew a pocket knife from his trousers.

The abrupt movement sent your heart into a terror-stricken frenzy, but your stupid mouth still spoke of its own accord. “Hm, kinky. You want to choose a safe word first? How’s ‘dumbfuck-jackass’ strike you?”

He uttered a barbarous chuckle, the sound gravelly behind the mask. “Let’s play a game.” He tapped the side of the blade against the base of your throat. “I’m going to have some fun. If what I do doesn’t scare you, I’ll do something worse. If it does scare you, all you have to do is tell me.”

Your chest tightened, heart ramming against its confines as your brain screamed at you to just let it go and stop antagonizing him. Instead, you smirked. “Sure, sounds like a good time.”

Truly, you had hoped he was just bluffing to get you to admit to your fear. But when he began to drag the knife along your cheek, leaving a thin, sanguine leak of blood in its wake, you realized you may have bitten off more than you could chew. You winced as your cheek wept blood—not much, but enough to hurt.

“No?” You could hear The Grabber’s prurient breaths huffing against the mask. “How about here?” He moved to your shoulder, drawing another swipe across your collarbone. You choked back a cry, swallowing hard.

“Is this how you spend all your free time?” you taunted, trying to ignore the dribbles of blood leaking down your chest. “My dude, I think you need to take up a better hobby. Crochet, maybe?”

The Grabber ignored you, gliding the tip of the knife up to your face again, pressing into the soft skin beneath your right eye. “How about here?”

You could see the blade coming, the sharp tip inches and then centimeters from your eyeball, and from the corybantic glint in his own eyes, you knew he wasn’t messing with you.

“Okay!” you cried out, squeezing your eyes shut as the tip just barely grazed your eyelid. “O-okay. I’m scared, a-all right? I’m fucking terrified! Is that what you wanted to hear, you fucking sadist?”

A thumb replaced the blade, gently stroking the space beneath your eye. “Yes,” he murmured contentedly, cupping the side of your cheek. “I look forward to playing with you more, Y/N.”

[flooficandii]

what do u think ab an au where the vp takes in kids with radiant abilities to train them as the "future" of valorant

this idea's kinda scuffed af bc idk much ab the lore actually i'm still confused ab kingdom n earth but i just want an excuse to see the agents babysitting chaotic kids with powers LMAOAoadjdj

IM NOT GONNA LIE THAT WOULD SOUND SUPER CUTE LMAO RADIANT BABY DAYCARE,,,, also this is a perfect excuse to put my headcanons about which of the agents are the best with kids

parents. like, literal parents dude

brimstone. he is the first immediate thing that comes to mind when i think of parenting. i mean look at the way he talks to the rest of the agents, you can't tell me he won't do well with kids

CYPHER!!! bro cypher would LOVE kids,,,,i hc he was really excited to be a dad but nora kinda died with his unborn baby so,, yknow he has that yearning feeling and he kinda projects that nature onto the younguns. he may be super secretive and shifty but you can tell he cares for them and would love to have children running around the base

sage!! sage radiates this energy of warmth and comfort and security, you'll always feel safe with her so she'd be wonderful with children :]] she won't hesitate to be strict if needed though so just make sure to stay on her good side unless,,, "YOUR HOMEWORK IS NOT OVER!!!"

reyna. surprisingly. although she isn't as much a parent as the rest of them, she wILL break someone's arm for a kid. she may be very murderous but kids might be her soft spot (glances vaguely at her little sister)

tbh i see her as the kind of caretaker that'll let her kid do awful things lmao

"miss reyna can i say a curse word ple a se ,,,"

"of course, cariño."

"FUCK!!!!"

okay at it/awkward but trying

omen. omen isn't sure how to interact with children,,,, like, i headcanon he scares them away a lot

if one of them happens to be NOT scared?? *immediately imprints*

i think the most he'd do while watching over children is just sit there with his knitting needles and grunt Menacingly whenever they start causing trouble

viper. viper also scares kids away, understandably so, but she does have this maternal nature despite her scary aura (exhibit a: duality)

i headcanon she actually dislikes children and tries to avoid them as much as possible but will be incREDIBLY protective if they're threatened

yoru. he finds kids annoying. but if he were put in a situation where he HAD to keep an eye on them he'd probably try

just a little bit

as a treat

he'll call them brats or something lmAO what a bitch

unless one of them calls him cool and feeds his ego

then yeah he'll love them lol

imagine yoru going into his rift and picking the kid up to make it look like they're flying

a parent? maybe not, it's really not something on his list of ideals. but a big brother figure? sure! it means he gets to bully tease children to his heart’s content

sova. sova is okay at babysitting. he’s very quiet though so the kids usually get bored with him

he’s quick to straighten them up if they’re misbehaving

maybe he’ll tell fairy tales about the mountains or something

*deep thick russian voice* “When I was still living with my babushka in the frigid mountains of the North,”

babysitters at most

jett. jett seems like the cool babysitter who lets you do anything and everything lmao,, stay up past your bedtime?? sure thing. snacks before dinner?? hell yeah. you want her to show you her cool spinny wind trick?? of course!!

raze! raze gives off the vibes of the girl next door who everyone in the neighborhood knows and loves. she probably hung out with the kids in her town a lot and would draw with them, make music with them, etc. very big sister vibes 10/10 just don't let her have explosives around them

ASTRA!!! astra astra astra i bet she’d be the type to give piggy back rides and make little stardust confetti to wow them with!! she’ll sing songs and read stories and maybe do little puppet shows for them  

skye would do great with kids! she’s strong enough to catch up to them during vigorous games of tag and she’d let them pet her tiger

her animals love the kids too

imagine taz lying on his back as they pet his belly and hawko perching on top of their heads

haha! *slowly pulls them away from the children*

breach. i dont know about you guys but if you left him with a kid he would lose them in like 1.5 minutes

“what? they’re tiny, you think i’d notice?”

bro he is such a fucking bully he’d punt a kid across a football field

i guess he’d let them sit on his giant bionic shoulders but thats it

phoenix.

says he has it under control

does NOT have it under control

“alright, fam! leave it to me, i can handle some younguns-”

*burns down the entire hq after trying to show them a trick*

killjoy. bro she would use them for her experiments without batting an eye

“KILLJOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE KIDS”

“testing the sensor range of my turret!! :DD relax, it won’t hurt them- they’re wearing helmets!”

“KILLJOY THEY’RE WRAPPED IN BUBBLE WRAP I DON’T THINK THAT’S HUMANE”

kay/o.

i dunno man i don’t think he’d even know what to do with kids

also he might accidentally break their spine if they wanted a hug lmao

he won’t hurt them on purpose but this is just,,,a safety measure

k would do great with kids though :]] big friendly guy