#like how did i get into this program lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

etchedstars · 6 months

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what did i do right

#like how did i get into this program lmao #ive reread my application like 15 times since i got in #and i dont get it #the overdue asteroid strikes again #liek everyone who goes there is so good and im literally just a person on tumblr #im so scared legit bc i haven’t written anything i liked since recto verso and that was in january #and like what if summer comes around and i still cant write and then ive gotten in but im a fraud and i dont write anything good #ugh #and i cant find anything abt it online so that means there will be zero gay ppl.

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moregraceful · 1 month

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max and i are closing in on launching [redacted sports rpf charity fest] and i am once again pondering how do i write "experience with writing form emails and manipulating google forms in ways no one has dreamed of" in a cover letter without saying "i did it for the rpf grind"...like there's no way unless everyone in this microsoft teams meeting gets really cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly. you know

#IT LITERALLY CAME UP WHILE I WAS WRITING A COVER LETTER A COUPLE WEEKS AGO #AND IT WAS SUCH A BAD COVER LETTER BC IT WAS LIKE. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN BE A VIRTUAL PROGRAMMING MANAGER #I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW I CAME BY THESE SKILLS!!!!#i did not get an interview lmao. but we stay silly #like how do u frame ''community organizer'' when you're organizing. people on the internet to create rpf fanworks. for charity #lmaooooo oh well #me and max locking down our timeline last night and i'm like 😶 the thing i have wanted to do for years is finally happening #the universe tried to smite us multiple times in multiple ways. but we persisted. and it is happening!!!#last night i had to go to the grocery store at 9pm wearing short-shorts and an oversized t-shirt bc i was really like #if i don't get a coke in me right the fuck now i am going to end it all #procured coca-cola. drank it in the parking lot. recovered instantly. got on here and started posting #went to monday night service. last one bc after this week it'll be too late at night in est :(#it was such a nice global community to be apart of. people in 5 countries on four continents showed up almost every week!#not to be christian on main. but i love working with ecumenical organizations because i meet people all over the world #who have different ways of doing church and different interpretations of scripture and different takes on faith #and i always learn so much from people! good and bad lol sometimes it's like wow i will NOT be integrating that into my worldview #yo just under one week until i move 😵‍💫 i decided i am packing one (1) more box and then saying fuck it we ball #whatever i forgot has to go in the car. i cannot let myself be owned by cardboard boxes any longer #and soon. freedom. new start. new beginnings. someone said ''i hope you look at this as a time of new growth and unfolding'' to me #and i went man. i think i am #like the pine trees that reseed after a forest fire #fresno oilers.txt

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seventh-district · 5 months

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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr 2.2 #hsr spoilers #hsr leaks #the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am #i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before #but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one #so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days #it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me #but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and #gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it #and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story #not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know #but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game #anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream #pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we #i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing #Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it #and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet #also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good #Seven.txt #viddy game stuff

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nobodybetterlookatme · 22 days

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Got hired at a different program as a whole ass instructor so my professor can suck my dick 😌

#not snz #so hype rn lmao #going into that interview was wild like i was expecting nothing #but she immediately started with how impressed she was with my resume and that i seemed like the perfect candidate #like !!!!#and the interview itself went so well too like i was vibing #like finally someone sees exactly what I'm worth #not a ta position not a skills instructor position but an actual lecturer position #I'm the professor now bitch #and it's part time for now so i can keep doing all my other things #also i went to the program i was a ta at to say hey to my friends and lld coworkers #and only one of then knew abour the drama bc i told him and everyone was floored when i said she wouldn't hire me #and they gave me the tea and confirmed that the people she did hire suck at their jobs #they were so pissed on my behalf lmao like they had no idea #and neither did one of the other instructors bc i went to say hey to her too and she was also happy to see me #and she asked why i don't come in anymore and i told her i wanted to be hired and my prof wouldn't do it #and she had no idea i wanted to be hired bc she said she said she would've offered it to me in a heartbeat when they had open positions #so you hate to see that but i got a better offer so I'm just trying to think about that now lmao #oh but one of the new hires might be getting fired already so a position might open up lmao #the chisme was wild tho like i need to swing by again at some point to see everyone again just for that

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gibbearish · 11 months

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everyones predicting garret will be this universe's charlie and possess the puppet which i don't disagree with. but also. would it not be an equally exciting twist if garret was still alive

#no one would call it bc afton just Doesnt Leave Survivors #im just saying if vanessas not the one getting successfully brainwashed into a murder machine..... maybe they just picked someone else #orrrr alternatively they could be saving a vanny thing for the future #obv that gets hard to justify bc yknow. if vanny is a thing afton programmed into her while raising her why wouldnt he #set her off in the climax #so im thinking smth like. what if the damage/coma? from the stabbing trips a wire in her head and makes her more susceptible #or obv he could grab her after reviving and just do it then which would also be an interesting turn #like hes like 'clearly you only survived me stabbing you as a sign i need to try again' or w/e #sorry got distracted there but !! alive brainwashed garret would be an interesting twist bc like. imagine #mikes reaction? vanessas bc obviously she feels like everything afton did is at least partially her fault???#having to free him? not being ABLE to free him?? him not wanting to be freed or not actually being brainwashed??#him potentially holding mike responsible for him getting kidnapped and being stockholmed into hating mike for it?#the possibilities are endless #also back on vanessa vanny that could also be a fun way to integrate princess quest and freeing her #even a nod to vr if you still want it to be the vr headset that lets afton into her head #fnaf movie spoilers #also how long do ppl usually tag spoilers for things i usually just do it until i get too annoyed by it to continue LMAO

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unnonexistence · 2 months

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*rubbing temples as if i have a headache* you have to put... a backslash in front of your backslash... because each special character needs a backslash and the backslash you're trying to use to for your OTHER special character is technically a special character...

#adventures in programming #WHY!!!!#i still dont fully understand this but it's got something to do with how it interprets strings #a 5 year old reddit comment just saved my ass lmao #the cheat sheet thing i was looking at did try to explain this but it didnt say 'hey idiot this means you need two backslashes'' anywhere #and i didnt get it #anyway i fixed my function! yay!#R: hey girl i heard you like escape characters so i put escape characters in your escape characters so you-#me: *bashing R with a rock*

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neonsbian · 11 months

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thinking abt the way i got into thai bl...im literally not normal 😭 like i was working on my stupid honors program project (a novella abt a heavy subject matter) and the stress of not only writing it but having to think abt said heavy subject matter AND having to finish it in like 2 months was killing me so bad so i decided to unwind by watching a cute little romcom and i go on my pirating site to see what romcoms are popular now and notice that my school president is always trending and i was like man i dont wanna watch a high school show but i watched it anyway bc i was like well i just need something dumb to take my mind off things for a bit and ended up loving it and then i watched mlc and bad buddy immediately after and was like wow these are all great shows what other thai dramas are out there and then ended up watching 13 full dramas in the month of march 😭

#not counting my rewatches of bbs and msp...#i dont think i posted abt any of them besides bbs msp and mlc #maybe like a gifset of a few others #but my mental health during that period of time....genuinely one of the worst periods of my life #and i have no one to blame but myself lmao #if ur wondering i did finish writing that novella and then i wrote another draft and then passed my program and graduated somehow #i actually did watch a couple thai dramas pre this mental health crisis but i didnt get invested till p recently #thats how they get u lmao #vinnie talks

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keeps-ache · 5 months

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well! that project's out of my brain now :) now what

#just me hi #“now what” i have tide in there now and i am not going to post much about them lmao #or maybe i will i dunno! but some things stay the most fun when they're secrets ehe :3 #//a lot of weather has been happening recently huh #lot more than i'm used to anyway lol - and why's it gotta be so humid out here like C'mon hghf #the air. is Thick. and Wet. like a toad #//Oh but i've been having so much fun drawing recently lol :D #it started getting flat and really boring for some reason to where it felt like i was doing it like a chore - just a motion to keep the #gears running ykno? but yeah i've been enjoying it a lot more these past so many days :D !#i didn't even really notice it until i realized i had zoned in on a comic i was drawing and hadn't considered working on anything else hfsh #//also i've been playing with that music box app/website again - i should prolly use a real music program but none of them are like this #thing ykno? cuz i just tip tap and Boom the sound i need is Right There !! :>#i tried soundtrap i really did but man it's a lot hhhghf #i don't like how it's set up unfortunately. oh well!#i need like minimal clutter or i Die. Gruesomely hbfsh - just what i need and nothing less nothing more. it's a balance #/despite that i am Really Bad at passively organizing things lol - and when i try i just misplace things like crazy. scavenger hunts are a #guarantee lol :)#//i'm still struggling spell guarantee btw but oo am i getting close !! hfshbh #it's the second A it always trips me up #that does not sound like an A. i believe that's identity fraud my friend [<- aggressive squinting]#//anyway sun's out i'm inside and i'm going to listen to music forever #/do you think there are electric guitars in the heavenly choir? hm!#//anyway back to my wanderings!! toodles toodles :D

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made #friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go #bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple #the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula #for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b #concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown #its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a #healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take #more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end #of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me #and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this #project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data #bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i #just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem #bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping #ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and #classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die #my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday #who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio #majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes #b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative #ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week #until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad #who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we #die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him #its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of #sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol #whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated

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ban-joey · 11 months

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sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh!#not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :)#like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends.#even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted)#a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay!#im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid.#he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :)#and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

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freebooter4ever · 1 year

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#Looking at my childhood art like i was a TERRIBLE artist even by child standards #No wonder my dad was so angry when i decided to try to make art work rather than get a comfy software engineering job #Like child me was DETERMINED to do this i thought it was a given there was no way i wasnt going to be an artist #Pretty much from the age of 4 when i saw beauty and the beast for the first time #But looking back at it as an adult like...i get it #I can see why my dad watched me draw these shitty weird cartoons as a kid and worried that i was going to fail miserably lol #He was partially right :/#My art is still shit but i keep at it like...like one of those whack a moles #Or the punching bag thing that gets hit and flips right back up #Did i mention i saw my dad briefly on my way up here #He's so disappointed in me i can just see it in how he talks to me or looks at me #But for fucks sake even when i was doing EVERYTHING right and getting my computer science degree and graduating with straight A's #He STill didnt want anything to do with me so its not much of a fucking change #I did notice he asked if i had heard from jordan #And no i dont keep tabs with my brother much #But i was shocked that dad hadn't heard from him in years because last time i saw my dad 2018 ish jordan was the golden child #He was the one who was finally steering his life in the right direction and studying programming #(not at my level but he's a boy so its fine)#And getting a programming job and shit #I guess that golden child status didnt last long kind of like my own lmao #Journal shit #Anyway tldr im feeling real shitty about my art right now \o/

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asexualdreammorpheus · 2 years

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i shouldn't have stayed up until 3am watching elden ring lore videos so now I'm like can we talk about shabiri? can we talk about the merchants? can we talk about miquella and malenia? can we talk about marika's less than stellar parenting skills?

#i do love the lore videos that are clearly just for a joke though #like how the dungeater has a secret romance ending #fromsoftware tell us why shabiri is worse than the dungeater!!! what did he say???#also the videos on quests cut from the game #which are incredible #especially kalès #is hyetta actually irena or is she not #irena's body is still on the ground is it just a programming error or something more 👀👀👀👀#can we talk about it!!!!#I'm supposed to go out and interact with people now #how will i cope #i really get the appeal of why people get so into other fromsoftware games #this is fun #vyke became so close to elden lord but eventually failed #lmao unlike my tarnished get good vyke #elden ring

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reikunrei · 1 year

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maaaan I’ve really got my brain stuck on the lack of period/menstruation explicitly mentioned in st. bc that’s weird right??? like… I understand that a lot of any sort of vaginal imagery would be bc of the tie to birth, and menstruation is almost explicitly a lack of pregnancy so it’s like opposite but. it goes hand in hand you know? so why…

#and WHY is it bugging me so much lmao #especially given the amount of yonic/vaginal imagery #and I understand that it’s every much a reference to birth and motherhood so I don’t think #that me suddenly being fixated on wanting to figure out if any of it could be related to periods would hold much water #but just like. idk. periods as a signal to growing up. a loss of innocence. perhaps even a loss of purity #throw in some mothergate and making edward the ‘mother’ and putting a uterus in him #the kids in the lab being bred to create more powerful children #could el have been born sterile?#no period = no pregnancy = no more magic kids for brenner #or like. idk I’m really just stuck on the shot of her hands covered in blood and how it immediately makes me think of carrie #bc I’m like 99% certain there’s a shot of her with blood on her hands #and like. idk I feel like the el one might be more of a reference to general bloodshed #but like. that much blood? on HER hands? she does have blood on her hands in the sense of the saying. she has killed people #but like. is it just in the way of like. she THOUGHT she had blood on her hands? bc she THOUGHT she’d killed everyone?#but like. why have that shot when she says that out loud later #so like. idk. that shot is bugging me today #I love it I really love it. I love blood soaked hands but just. what does it mean #I went of track for a sec but like maybe it’s like. did she KNOW it was a breeding program when she was young? so she was dreading when #she’d get her first period. signifying that she was of breeding age?#maaaaan idfk lol #i say things #eleven #stranger things

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edgedglorya · 2 years

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what in the angels in america was that- mahsnshdjdhd

#okay-#why does this feel like a different program every week #i-#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PLOTS #MURPHY PICK SOMETHING GDI #also wtaf is sams storyline-#they clearly set him up as some major #and then #they introduced some arc in episode 4 about getting theo back #and then the random dead body #AND NOW THIS #WTF #god i'm glad this is almost over #just kill the guy so i can do what i want lmao #i feel like most of this is for shock value now-#zach my bro- how badly did you need the money that you did this #I'M KASJDLAKSJD

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iraprince · 4 months

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gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

#tutorials #my art #wip #process

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technicolorxsn · 1 year

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yo??????

#i wonder how that trick was pulled off #now that im thinking if I were to liveblog this that would be basically all of it lmao #but like.... how did they do any of this?????? its so cool but seems so impossible #like first and obvious one is there are layers #like 2nd floor is directly above the first #but ljke #from there it just gets weirder #but what im talking abt specifically is getting to the hospital lol #like... how was it programmed to have an autorespawn that went somewhere completely different? does it only do that if u die #in the backrooms??

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