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fangirl-dot-com · 7 months

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Chapter 23 - The Dutch Anthem on Repeat

Guys, I think I can finally upload on a regular basis if I can do every Friday and Wednesday? If that's ok? I'm hoping that it will work well for everyone!

This chapter made me laugh, and I remember someone asking for more Grandpa Nando so he makes a good appearance in this one!

Like always, comments, questions, concerns, reblogs and likes are always appreciated! Please enjoy!

Max, along with everyone, was used to hearing the Dutch National Anthem. Sure, everyone joked that it was the Formula 1 outro, but that was life. It wasn’t Max’s fault that he kept winning. Everyone just needed a new and better car to keep up. As he walked into the garage, he knew he was expecting to possibly hear it at the very end of Sunday.

What he didn’t expect was when his foot hit the concrete, the song started blasting through the speaker. The mechanics were trying to hid giggles behind their hands as they watched the confused driver try to find where the sound was coming from. When it suddenly stopped, he got even more confused.

He looked at the mechanics.

“Have you seen the kid anywhere?”

Henry, one of the men that worked on your car, responded, “She’s been in her room since she got here this morning.”

Max let out a tight “thanks” before heading that way. He expected you to be hiding something, but you were peacefully taking a nap with your headphones on. The gag gift that he got you, a blanket with his face all over it, was curled up in your hands. His eyes softened as he walked over to gently wake you up. You did promise him lunch for that day.

He rocked you a bit until you woke up.

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up. “Hey Max.”

A yawn escaped your lips.

“Kid, you don’t have anything to do with the fact that the Dutch anthem played when I walked in?”

“Huh?” you questioned, still really sleepy.

Max just let it go. You seemed like you didn’t know what was going on. You quickly got ready, placing your race suit at your hips.

When Max’s foot hit the concrete again, the anthem started to play. A groan left his lips as you looked around.

The Dutchman looked down at you. “You had nothing to do with this?”

You looked up at the older driver. “Nico took my boombox privileges away when I scared him last week.”

You seemed pretty dejected at the thought of losing your boombox.

Max just quickly kept walking out of the garage with you on his tail. The two of you conversed as you made your way to hospitality. You knew that Max had the priority for this race. It was his second home and you knew he wanted a win after what happened in Belgium.

“So I’m thinking of holding a party after Monza at the house. What do you thing?”

Max thought for a moment.

“That’s a good idea. You going to take a car to the circuit.”

You beamed at him. “Thinking of bringing the spaceship. What do you think?”

Max opened the door to the hospitality, and before he could answer, the Dutch anthem started to play once again. He stopped dead in his tracks, causing you to thud into his back.

You snorted as you heard the song play, causing Max to whip around.

His eyebrow arched. “Sure you don’t have anything to do with this?”

You only shook your head before pushing past him, wanting to get lunch as quickly as possible. Max followed, suspiciously glaring at anyone who looked guilty.

Lando was sitting in the corner, animatedly telling a story to Oscar, who looked dead inside (but was politely listening).

In the middle, Lewis, Charles, and Carlos were all playing on their phones, empty plates sitting in front of him.

Max’s eyes looked back up to see you talking to Fernando. Your eyes were wide as you talked to the Spaniard. He made his way over to the line and grabbed a tray. With each step he took, he was nervous about setting off something that would start the song. When he walked to the table, he just looked at the chair.

“Everything all right Max?” Lando asked from the corner, making everyone look at the Dutchman. His cheeks reddened under everyone’s gaze.

You bit into your sandwich. “Each time he’s walked into or out of a building, the Dutch national anthem plays.”

“Sure it does,” Charles said, finally looking up from his phone.

Now annoyed, Max sat down. Surprisingly nothing happened. He let out a content hum before biting into his food.

However, the moment he took a bite, it stated to play again. Rounds of laughter fell from everyone’s lips as he sat there, looking sad with a bite of food in his mouth.

Not wanting to sit anymore, he stood up abruptly and walked out with the tray. Yet, the song started over once he opened the door. A loud huff left his lips, which made everyone start laughing again.

What he failed to notice was a camera set up in the corner of the room. You turned and looked at it, giving it a thumbs up.

You wiped a tear from your eye. “Aw man, now he’s going to be mad.” You looked at one of the media personelle who was standing in the corner. He took the camera and just gave you a smile.

“He’ll be mad at us, not at you.”

You crossed your arms, not convinced in the slightest. Fernando gave you an upside down smile.

“Come on niña, I’ll take you to Max.”

He stood from the table, waiting for you to follow. Yet, you shook your head.

“Nando, he’s going to be mad and all grumpy and I’m going to be at the receiving end of it in the car. He’s taken Charles out too many times.”

“Hey!”

Your eyebrows pinched as you looked up at the green-clad driver. Your eyes then looked back down at your food.

Fernando sighed, knowing you weren’t going to budge. He turned around and walked out, without the Dutch national anthem playing. He stalked toward the Red Bull garage and was able to walk in.

Every loved Fernando and had great respect for him.

“Anyone know where I can find Max?”

Christian spoke up from the corner. “He’s in his room. Is everything ok?”

Fernando sighed as he rubbed his head. “For a prank, they got someone to play the Dutch National anthem every time Max did something. He got tired of it, so he stormed out. Now the kid thinks that he’s going to be mad at her all weekend. I’m just here to explain because she’s a bit nervous.”

Christian had a sympathetic look on his face. He was sad that you thought that Max would ever be mad at you for something so trivial.

The Briton nodded his head in the direction of Max’s driver room. “Second door on the left.”

Fernando thanked him, before heading that way. He knocked once before the door swung open, sadly causing the anthem to play once again.

Max deadpanned as he waited for the song to stop.

“Is everything ok Fernando?” the Dutchman asked, trying to look around to see if you were there as well. His heart sank a bit when you weren’t seen.

The elder sighed. “So your team thought it’d be a good video to play the anthem every time you did something.”

Max winced. “Oh I know.”

Fernando looked at him weirdly.

“You don’t think I saw the dude with the camera in the corner of the garage or hospitality?”

The Spaniard nodded. He knew a thing or two for spotting cameras on him. You get used to it after being in the field for so long.

“Well, the kid thinks you were going to be mad if you knew that she was in on it.”

Max’s eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. “Oh no no no. Doesn’t she know when I can tell that she’s not sleeping? She’s taken so many naps around me, that I know when she’s actually asleep.”

Max had known from the beginning, since you never woke up so quickly. It always took a few nudges, not just one. And your headphones were off and you barely flinched when he approached you. He was actually amused that you had gone through all the trouble to seem innocent.

Fernando let out a long sigh. “I told her that you wouldn’t be angry or frustrated.”

Max had a determined look. “Let’s go find her. She’s probably either in the Ferrari garage or McLaren.”

“She’s in the Williams garage.”

Max turned around. “How do you know this?”

“It was supposed to be a joke, but she put me on her Life360. Said I was getting old and was at a higher risk of crashing outside of work.”

Max let out a deep laugh at the imagination of you downloading Life360 onto Fernando’s phone.

The two walked out of the garage (this time the anthem did not play) and toward Williams. The two got to catch up on something before they arrived.

They saw the Thai driver first.

“Alex have you see Y/n anywhere?” Max questioned, catching him off guard.

He said nothing, but subtly tilted his head toward the back where Logan was awkwardly standing behind a box. Max’s eyes lit up at he looked at the American, who had a nervous look on his face.

Max put a finger to his lips and saw Logan barely nod. He gingerly crossed the room and looked down. Behind said box, you were clinging to Logan’s leg, playing a game.

He heard you snicker to yourself. “Max will never find me here.”

“Sure kid.”

He could have sworn he saw your soul leave your body as you jumped off of Logan’s leg. The American rolled his eyes before lifting you off the ground and placing you in front of the Dutch driver.

“I think this belongs to you.”

All in the back, Fernando and Alex stood laughing behind their hands.

You looked back at Logan. “Traitor.”

“Come on kid.”

Max gently led you back to the Red Bull garage, but not without thanking Fernando for his help. The Spaniard only patted his back before returning to his own garage. Max watched as you begrudgingly walking in front of him. He quickened his steps to be right beside you.

“I can hear your grumpiness from over here,” he tried to joke, yet stopped when he saw barely there tears in your lash line.

He cooed as he tried to not let you cry.

“Kid I thought it was funny.”

“Are you sure? You looked super unhappy after lunch.” You looked down and kicked a stone.

“Y/n.”

Oh, he said the name (and not the nickname).

You sheepishly looked up at him.

“I’m not mad. And if I was, I’d take it out on the media team and not you.”

You smiled just a bit. “Promise?”

“Promise. Now, let’s go kick some ass so we can listen to the Dutch National Anthem on the podium.”

Race Results:

Max Verstappen – 25 points

Y/n L/n – 18 points

Charles Leclerc – 16 points (fastest lap)

Lewis Hamilton – 12 points

Oscar Piastri – 11 points

Alex Albon – 8 points

George Russell – 6 points

Logan Sargeant – 4 points

Lance Stroll – 2 points

Lando Norris – 1 point

Fernando Alonso

Niko Hulkenberg

Kevin Magnussen

Daniel Ricciardo

Pierre Gasly

Yuki Tsunoda

Esteban Ocon

Valtteri Bottas

Zhou Guanyu

Carlos Sainz – DNF (engine failure)

Champions Standings

Max Verstappen – 309 points

Charles Leclerc – 268 points

Lando Norris – 190 points

Y/n L/n – 181 points

Carlos Sainz – 130 points

Oscar Piastri – 118 points

Lewis Hamilton – 105 points

Alex Albon – 56 point

George Russell – 54 points

Fernando Alonso – 45 points

Logan Sargeant – 36 points

Daniel Ricciardo – 23 points

Lance Stroll – 17 points

Pierre Gasly - 12 points

Valtteri Bottas – 13 points

Yuki Tsunoda – 8 points

Zhou Guanyu – 1 point

Nico Hulkenberg

Kevin Magnussen

Esteban Ocon

Constructors Championship

Red Bull – 490 points

Ferrari – 398 points

McLaren – 308 points

Mercedes – 159 points

Williams – 92 points

Aston Martin – 62 points

Alpha Tauri – 31 points

Alpha Romeo – 14 points

Alpine – 12 points

Haas – 0 points

The cool wind of the Netherlands brushed up against your face as you stood on the second step. If your math was correct, you were still behind Lando in the championship by only 9 points. You’d make it up as long as you didn’t DNF for the rest of the season.

You smiled as you heard the Dutch National Anthem for the umpteenth time that day. Your shoulders started to shake as it continued playing, which made Charles look at you and start laughing as well. Max watched with a grin on his face as you couldn’t contain yourself.

To the people down below, it looked like you were crying since you were wiping tears away (which you were, but the tears were from laughing too hard). Their hearts ached as you were on the second step once again, and not the top one.

But, you were having the time of your life, spraying Max and Charles with loads of champagne. You were on a high right now, and nothing would stop it. You knew that later that night, you’d stay awake going over data and sim times.

Because that second step was sweet, but the top step would be even sweeter.

And you needed the win.

You were starving.

redbullracing has posted

redbullracing no broken trophies this year - orange army you were good to us

liked by y/n.nation, dutch4max, orangearmynation, and 390,204 others

maxmaxmax_super DUTCH ANTHEM YASSSSS

maxie&kid best 1-2 honestly

lastlap_lando NOT THE BROKEN TROPHIES COMMENT

landonorris how many times do I have to apologize?

y/n.89 give it a few years, he still hasn't forgiven me for accidentally eating his stroopwaffle maxverstappen1 BECAUSE IT WAS THE LAST ONE y/n.89 YOUR NAME WASN'T ON IT

y/n&co when are RB going to give her a win?? for real???

best_rookie ROOKIE WIN ROOKIE WIN ROOKIE WIN

y/n.nation WE NEED A WIN?? ADMIN? AUTHOR?? author CALL DOWN - LET ME COOK

autodromonazionale_monza a presto! Viaggi sicuri!

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri

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dizscreams · 1 year

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Hii hii can I request a Jack Champion × actress reader where they react on some edits Abt the two of them in an interview and then one ship edit Abt them came out thank you so much

++ I luv your writing so much some times I go overboard by liking all of them sorry Abt that Have a great day/night

ur so sweet anon ty :( <3 I hope I understood this right 😭

Mesmerized — Jack Champion ★

PAIRING: Jack Champion x gn!reader

TAGS: @beary-rambles @ashlesys-blog @wekiamo @wenvierismycomfort @aesthetixhoe @mbankfav @aqellano @dizzyscreams @c8rdigan @teyamsgirll @evanpeterswifeyy868

A/N: he’s so bf like he’s literallyy my bf?! I love my bf!! bf!! he’s so this song!!

The producers for the interview you were doing didn’t tell you what the interview would be about. Both you and Jack just assumed it was a normal interview until you had to do the intro for the video. ‘Action!’

You wave, “Hi I’m y/n l/n!” Jack follows you and waves as well, “And I’m Jack Champion.” You both share a smile before quickly looking back at the camera, “And today we are going to be reacting to edits of ourselves.” Jacks eyes widen a bit before nodding slightly, “Lets do it.” “Lets do it,” you repeat.

Someone gives you a phone and tells you all you need to do is scroll and give commentary. “Jack, do you ever look at edits of yourself?” You ask him before clicking on the first video, you pause it before it starts to hear Jacks answer. “Uhh sometimes,” he laughs, “When I’m bored, or they’ll randomly appear on my for you page. What about you?” You smile a bit, “Same here. I also get tagged in a lot of them.” “Oohh yeah me too.”

“Shall we start?” You ask shaking the phone a little.

“We shall,” Jack responds with finger guns. You chuckle and start the first video, it’s an edit of Jack. It was of his Scream 6 character, Ethan Landry. Jack was blushing slightly when you had looked over at him. You giggled when the video ended, “Soo what’d you think?” He giggled with you, “People are really talented. I will say though I wasn’t expecting so many people to love Ethan. Especially because of.. the movie,” he said slowly.

You hum, “The movies been out a while I think you can say it.” He looks at you and then back at the camera, “I didn’t expect many people to love my character in Scream 6 because he’s a psychopathic murderer who chases people in a Ghostface mask,” He says in an accent and claps his hands together. You cover your mouth with your hand as you laugh. “Alright let’s move on, next!” Jack says smiling.

“Okay, here you can take the phone this time,” you tell him handing the phone to him. He takes it and scrolls down to the next edit, “I think it’s of you,” he whisper yells. You recognize the clip used as one in an interview you did only about a week ago. Jack looked at the video and then looked back at you while grinning. He seemed to be enjoying this a little too much, but you didn’t mind.

“Aw I liked that one,” you spoke up first.

“Me too,” Jack says as he stared at you. He liked the outfit you chose to wear today, he always admired your sense of style. He also liked the way you did your hair, it framed your face nicely. “Jack?” He cleared his throat, “Yeah? What?” You let out a confused laugh, “Were you listening?” His face turned red at the question, “uhhh-” You shake your head with a smile, “It’s okay, next edit!” You stick out your hand, signaling for him to give you the phone and he just looks at it.

You shake your hand and nod towards the phone a bit trying to be more clear and he tilts his head. You look at him and he looks like a lost puppy with his big brown eyes boring into yours. You smile a bit and lower your voice, “The phone, Jack.” “OH! Right yeah here,” he stumbles over his words as he hands you the phone. The light pink blush dusting his cheeks once again making him look even cuter than before.

“Okay and here we go,” you mutter. The video plays and at first it’s clips of Jack, you can recognize where some of the clips are from. A lot of them are from Avatar interviews, which makes sense. But then there’s clips of you and that causes your eyebrows to knit together slightly. Just a friendly edit, you presumed, but at the end of the video there’s a clip of you and Jack together.

It’s a clip from a little behind the scenes of Scream 6. The small moment was of Jack putting his arm around you while you were both in the backseat of a bus going to set that day. You smiled at the memory and the video came to an end, “That was cute.” He nodded in agreement, he had the same stupid smile on his face, “Yeah.” You took a peak at the comments, all of them were ship comments.

“They’d be so cute together!”

“Are we sure they aren’t dating?”

“The way they look at each other 🥹”

“I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE”

“There’s no way they aren’t dating”

Your smile got bigger and you handed Jack the phone with a quiet, “Your turn.”

The interview went on for a couple more minutes until they were satisfied with the length that the video would be. Then, it was time for the outro. “I’m y/n l/n,” Jack said and you followed his lead, “And I’m Jack Champion.”

“And you’re watching Disney Channel!”

“That’s not it, Jack-“

“And you’re watching Buzzfeed Celeb!”

“There you go. Thank you so much for watching..”

“And make sure to leave a like for more content like this,” he said finishing your sentence in a British accent.

“Cut! That was great, guys.”

You looked at Jack only to find him already looking at you, “You wanna go get lunch?” He asked already standing. “Of course.” You guys made your way out of the filming room and he made sure nobody was looking before he grabbed your hand, giving it a kiss,

“You don’t know how hard it was for me to stay quiet about our relationship. You looked so good, I just wanted to brag about how you were mine the whole time,” he said while pulling you in for a hug. You giggling and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss, “We’ll tell them soon, babe.”

#dizzy writes?! 😵‍💫#I LOVE THISSS #jack champion #jack champion x reader #scream 6 #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader

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zumek0 · 5 months

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draft 05; fushiguro, m.

↪︎ angst but very mild?, comfort, college/university au, no curses au, reader is very stressed.

↝ summary: megumi comforts you after you break down due to academic stress.

There’s a feeling of pressure on your chest, and a growing pit of despair in your stomach. You fucked up. Big time. Your teacher had given you a topic to make a presentation about a month ago and yet here you were, a week before your due date, not even having a clue of what the hell the topic was. As you stare into the google calendar tab open in your laptop you realize that not only were you supposed to present the topic in a week, but also turn in two different group assignments and an individual one. On the same day.

Almost mechanically you pick up your phone and open the messenger app.

Megumi’s always been more of a night owl. His body is used to staying awake until sunlight threatens to spill over the horizon. He knows it’s not healthy but even if he tries to sleep at a normal, decent hour his mind remains restless. So he does what he’s able to: assignments, projects, pre-reading for lectures, reading books he enjoys or has been wanting to read, listen to music, make playlists with songs that fit the vibe of a very specific picture of you he has in his gallery, watch a movie, etc.

It’s 11:56 p.m. when his phone starts vibrating over and over again. He can’t help the feeling of irritation that bubbles up inside him, thinking that Yuuji or Nobara are spamming the group chat with TikTok slideshows of “ask your friends which ‘blank’ are you!”. Although the feeling is immediately replaced with worry and slight curiosity when he sees it’s you who has been spamming him for three minutes straight.

His eyebrows furrow when he notices you’re texting with correct spelling, no emojis, no jokes in the middle of the conversation and capitalizing the first letter of every text. He reads over the messages you’ve sent so far to grasp an understanding of the situation. When he gets to the bottom of the chat, he gets up and grabs his shoes and keys while still paying attention to the still incoming messages you’re sending him.

You’re startled when you hear a soft knock at your door, stilling your fingers from expertly moving across the keyboard on your phone. Your eyes remain on the door while you wait for the sound to repeat itself, just in case you misheard or imagined it. Your phone vibrates softly on your hands, displaying a text from Megumi: “open the door”. You get up and do as he ordered.

Once he’s inside your small campus room, he speaks. “Okay, now tell me everything slowly.” You do.

“… oh, did I also mention that I have two midterms that same week? And that quiz that we were supposed to present last week but the teacher changed last minute.” You can feel the headache creeping up your spine. You bring your hands to your head and rub your temples.

“And I know what you’re gonna say: ‘complaining about it isn’t gonna help you at all’” you make your voice sound deeper and more monotone to make it sound like his, “It’s just- It’s really frustrating. I don’t know why I can’t seem to just sit down and do things, like you do!”.

He doesn’t say anything and you’re thankful for that. “It’s like—I know I have stuff to do, and I know it’s very important that I do it right. But I just can’t seem to ever find the motivation to do it. And then I’m left in spots like this one where I’m gonna have to pull a miracle out of my ass to actually turn in everything I have to turn in this week.” He listens to your rant patiently. Even rubbing your thigh when he notices your eyes crystallizing and tears starting to well up in the corners of your eyes.

After sitting in silence for what feels like hours, he finally speaks. “Do you want reassurance or a solution?” “Both. More reassurance though.” You both move to make yourselves more comfortable.

He’s sitting down in the floor with his back against the side of your mattress. One of his legs is bent and the other is stretched. Your head is now resting on his outstretched thigh. His long fingers find themselves running through your hair, an action that you commonly direct towards him whenever he finds himself unable to fall asleep while sleeping over in your room.

“I think you’re gonna make it out of this.” His voice Is soft, but assertive. “And yes, you have some awful time-management skills that we need to work on,” a snort leaves your nose “However last time you were able to give that other presentation while only having studied two days prior. If you try hard enough, everything will be okay. We’ll be okay. I’m gonna help you.”

You’re pretty sure the tears are running down your face at this point. You sniff tour nose. “Thank you.” Megumi leans down and gives your forehead a kiss. “But now, we need to get some rest. We both have early clases tomorrow. Well, today, technically.”

You get up from your position and make it to your bed. He’s hugging you while your head is on top of his chest. From this position you’re able to hear his heartbeat slowly lulling you to sleep.

can you tell i’m proyecting with this one? i literally wrote it at midnight. stress is eating me alive, so please excuse me if this seems like a self insert. i know people who are currently dealing with a lot in uni, so i hope this can help you if you’re going through the same.

—han

#땡땡! han’s works #jjk x reader #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi imagine #jjk college au #megumi fluff #megumi comfort #stressed reader #jjk megumi #this is very self indulgent #sorry #megumi headcanons

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ghost-proofbaby · 1 year

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SO SCARLET (IT WAS MAROON)

CHAPTER FOUR: CASTLES CRUMBLING

AND HERE I SIT ALONE, BEHIND WALLS OF REGRET. FALLING DOWN LIKE PROMISES I NEVER KEPT.

☆ pairings: rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

☆ warnings: no use of y/n, strong language, angst, mentions of RUMORS of workplace sex scandal, minors dni

☆ WC: 5.4K+

☆ A/N: if you would like to listen to the song that eddie is recording at the end - it is an actual, real life song. :-) it is called "blood sport" by sleep token (one of my favorite bands i get to see live next week!!), and i highly recommend listening to it during your reading. especially the latter half of this chapter.

thank you to my love @hellfire--cult for the divider!

masterlist

“Alright, so – anyone care to fill me in on what the Hell that was?”

Matt stands like a disapproving father figure as the band lines up opposite of him just outside the building. Eddie had hoped nothing would be mentioned until they were in the car, but the driver was clearly running a few minutes late.

Three of the boys glance at each other, worried expressions immediately giving up the hoax even as Eddie only shrugs and says, “What do you mean?”

“Cut the shit, Munson,” Matt had never appeared so livid, so undone by irritation. His usual patience with Eddie is nonexistent, “What’s going on between you and that girl? Is she a past groupie?”

The insinuation gets a scoff out of Gareth. Jeff side-eyes him in warning, but Eddie couldn’t care less, “No, she’s not a past groupie. This was the first time I’d ever-”

“Don’t lie to me,” Matt points an accusatory finger at Eddie, narrowing his eyes, “I am your manager. If you have any unsavory connections with that girl, I need to know so I can decide if we need someone else to organize the event. We are not having another repeat of the Lewinsky scandal.”

“I knew it! I fucking knew you called it that, too!” Gareth cheers, but he’s quieted by one look from their furious manager.

The Lewinsky scandal had been their code-word for when the tabloids had become convinced that Eddie was fucking an assistant at the label. A girl had even come forward and claimed to have had sexual relations with Eddie, and he had taken heat for it for a full month before the buzzing novelty worn off.

Eddie had only spoken three words to the girl. No, thank you when she’d offered him a mug of coffee during a late night at the studio. He wishes now he’d been less polite.

And he also finds himself wishing that’s all this was. He wishes you were just another scandal, another terrible rumor spread around. If all the accusations between you two were false, if all the hatred was based on misconstrued circumstances, it would be so much easier. He can talk himself out of that. He can confess to those sins and get off with no more than the order of one hail mary from Matt.

But you? The reality of all that had happened, both all those years ago and just thirty minutes ago? He can’t find the words. They choke him up, unwilling to leave the cavern of his chest and enter the world, just like all the songs gathering dust as demos.

“It’s not going to be another Lewinsky scandal,” Eddie scowls, feet shuffling against the concrete below him. Can’t be another Lewinsky scandal if she wants nothing to do with me anymore, “Maybe she just doesn’t like me. I am allegedly a very polarizing public figu-”

The car pulls up, and Matt is quick to grab Eddie’s shoulder before glaring at the boys, “Get in, I’m not finished with our polarizing public figure yet.”

Grant and Gareth only let out low whistles, following instruction without lingering as they clamber into the back row of seats in the SUV. Jeff takes his time, though, going as far to pause beside Eddie and place a hand on his back.

“Just tell him the truth, Eds.”

It’s the final nail in his coffin. Eddie is cursing Jeff’s retreating figure as he climbs into the vehicle and shuts the door, leaving him alone with Matt.

“Explain,” Matt demands, “Now.”

Eddie’s eyes focus on a gaping crack in the sidewalk, jagged and uneven, right down the center.

He has two options. He could continue to lie, insist he knows nothing about you until Matt just gets bored of not being offered the truth. Or he could admit it all, reveal the muse behind the art he had been fiercely protecting over these last few months. Every line, every chord, every broken note that had left his lungs during those witching hours in the studio.

On one hand, it’ll rip away the opportunity that has been offered to him on a silver platter – the opportunity for closure. Selfish, bloody closure that neither of you had gotten, it seemed. But on the other hand, it might grant him some sympathy. Matt, the label, the producers – they had all grown tired of the dance Eddie led them in every time they’d inquire about the music. But if Matt knew-

It’s a dead end trail of thought. He knows he won’t admit to the worst of his atrocities he’s committed. No scandal, no late night ending with him in handcuffs, no fraudulent headline is going to compare to what he did to you. What you did to him.

It’s a little too late for damage control, anyways.

“I went to high school with her,” the lie works well enough, easing some of Matt’s frustration, “I was just shocked to see her. All of us were shocked to see her. No big deal.”

Eddie knows the people around him have come to learn that they must pick and choose the battles they engage in with him. And he can see that decision flash across Matt’s face as he decides that this is not a battle necessary to the war.

“Alright. But if you’re lying to me-“

“I’m not lying.”

“If you are, that’ll be one of my last straws, Munson.”

It won’t be. Eddie knows it won’t be. Everyone, every single goddamn person in this world it seems, is capable of giving Eddie Munson unlimited chances — except you. You, it seemed, were the only person who had come to their senses.

You always were smarter than people gave you credit for.

—

“Run the track again.”

They’d spent a few hours in the studio already. It was an odd hour for them to be haunting the space, more used to visiting in the dead of night rather than the middle of a weekday, but it was down to the wire now. Vocals needed to be recorded, instrumentals fine-tuned, tracks properly mastered. Eddie could no longer hide in the night when it came to recording the haunting melodies stained with the blood of his past — no matter how wrong it felt to see a sliver of sunlight breaking through one of the windows, just through the top of the blackout curtains.

“I really think that was the one, man-“ the producer starts, probably just tired after repeatedly running in circles with Eddie’s perfectionism.

He doesn’t care. He’s paying them, they can stand to let him re-record as many times as necessary to satisfy Eddie, “Run it again.”

The silence only continues to buzz in Eddie’s headphones. He’s ready to cuss out the producer as he angrily shoves them down, off his ears and hanging loosely around his neck, the wire a leash as he whips to face the one-way glass wall. The lights are off at the main board, guaranteeing that they can see Eddie but Eddie can’t see them.

Until suddenly, the light comes back on, and the reason for the absence of the repeated track Eddie had requested becomes obvious.

Gareth.

He stands at the center of it all, a few paces from the seated producer with a deep scowl on his face.

“What the fuck?” Eddie says, mouth just close enough to the mic for them to catch his overflowing annoyance, “I said-“

“We heard what you said, Eddie,” Gareth interrupts, his voice just loud enough to be faintly heard even as the headphones curl around the nape of Eddie’s neck, “But I need to talk to you.”

It’s the strictest tone that Gareth has used on their lead singer in an unfathomably measure of time. Probably because it’s the most words he’s said to Eddie in a very long time, as well.

Eddie finally removes the headphones, hanging them carelessly on the mic stand and moving towards the door — surprisingly, without putting up a resistance.

The control room is warmer than the fairly large area that served as a ‘booth’. Smaller, as well. Cramped with a low couch and one too many chairs available to trip over, the control board spanses the entire wall that holds the oversized window into the recording room. A plethora of small lights twinkle like stars, and numerous switches that Eddie had come to know better than the back of his hand alternate positions to guarantee the clearest sound. Only Gareth and the producer occupy the room, the rest of the band having taken off around the fifth time Eddie had requested a redo of his vocal tracking.

“This better be good,” Eddie complains, furrowing his brows, agitated at the interruption.

But Gareth shows no remorse, “We need to talk.”

“Yeah, you said that already.”

“We need to talk,” Gareth repeats, eyes flickering to the poor soul still seated at the controls, “Alone.”

Eddie hardly has to open his mouth, the man jumping out of his seat the moment the lead singer flicks his wrist to signal for him to leave.

Whatever Gareth was about to say had to be important, and it’s that thought rather than the difference in temperatures that has sweat building on Eddie’s brows.

Is he about to quit the band? Is he about to tell me he’s had enough? Maybe he’s done with my bullshit — I would be.

“Speak, Emerson,” Eddie flatly insists, grabbing a small water bottle out of one of the mini fridges in the room before he throws himself onto the worn leather of the couch, “And make it quick. We’re on a time limit, you kno-“

“We’ve gotta talk about her, man.”

Her as in you.

For a moment, Gareth sounds like a friend again. He’s dropped all the persistent perturbation he’s taken to defending himself with when it comes to Eddie, his voice pleading as he stands before the distant man. All the rueful power plays that had developed over the last year vanish. It’s just Eddie and Gareth, bandmates who started out in the latter’s garage in some small Indiana town. Not Eddie Munson, infamous rockstar with a chip on his shoulder. Not Gareth Emerson, passionate drummer overshadowed by the ego of his lead singer. Just Eddie and Gareth.

“We all know you didn’t tell Matt the truth.”

“I did tell him the truth-“

“Not the whole truth, then. There’s no way he’d let it slide if he knew that she was your ex-girlfriend.”

The defiance vacates Eddie’s body quickly. He doesn’t even attempt to prowl his mind for a quick quip in response. All he does at the words is drop his shoulders, the defeat creeping up on him as he deflates.

Ex-girlfriend. The title feels so pitiful to truly describe what you were to him.

But to be fair, even when he had been in your good graces, girlfriend had also never felt significant enough.

“Did-“ Gareth starts after a beat of silence, noting the way Eddie couldn’t quite hide his wounds on the topic, “What did you guys talk about? When you went after her, what did she say?”

“Nothing important.”

Eddie turns into a shell, a zombie as he stares straight ahead and tries to compartmentalize. That always worked; with meetings, with arguments, with lectures. Even before the fame, it worked.

It doesn’t work quite as quickly when it comes to you. His brain, it seems, is incapable of uncrossing all the wires you twist within his brain.

“You two were alone for, what, ten minutes? And you’re telling me she didn’t say anything important?”

“What the fuck is there to say?” Eddie laughs soullessly, “Oh, hey, stranger! Remember me? The guy you up and left without a word?”

“Yes!” Gareth shouts unexpectedly, “Yes, that’s exactly what you should have done! She left. Not just you, but all of us. We never even really knew why. And now- what? Are we just supposed to pretend we don’t know her?”

Eddie knew why. She’d never had to say it, and that was the issue. He always thought about all the answers he swore he craved, and always let every question he claimed to have haunt him during the waking hours. But when the day turned to night, when he was left to nothing but his own devices in a dark and empty apartment during the witching hours, he knew. The question of why had been answered since the first phone call cut short with you during that goddamn tour.

The songs knew, too. He supposes it had been an arrogant assumption to believe the band had read into his lyrics and put the pieces together.

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do,” Eddie nearly whispers, throat tightening and fighting him on the words. It’s the opposite of what he wants and needs — but it’s what you want and what you need. And so he plays the messenger, even as it kills him, “We are going to completely disregard my past with her. We are going to treat this entire situation as professionally as possible. I’m talking the full nine yards: you will not mention the fact that we know her, you will not question her about anything from the past, and you will not, under any circumstances, ask her why.”

His own set of rules he’d privately set for himself in his own mind during the car ride over.

Gareth squints his eyes in disbelief, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Are you serious?”

“Deathly so.”

“This isn’t just about your past with her,” the boy nearly passes, starts to reach up to tug on his hair before he thinks better of it, “This is about the way she left all of us. Not just you. She was a friend to all of us. She was the one who taught me how to tape my drums when I’d bust a hole in them, she was the one who helped us design our first merch, she was the only person any of us would let be in the room during practices. And not just the band stuff, either,” Eddie watches tears form in Gareth’s eyes, “She was the only one who had the patience to help me with my fucking math homework back in school, man. She was the one who nearly curb stomped Jason Carver the week he sent Grant home with a black eye. She was the first person Jeff called when his parents broke news of their divorce, for fucks sake. Not me, not you, not any of us — her,” Gareth’s breaths come out as pants as he stops his pacing and stands before Eddie. The tears continue to lace his bottom lash line as he heaved silently at the end of his rant, his pained expression completely unexpected to Eddie.

This is the part Eddie chooses to forget. He’ll let himself swim in the memory of you late at night, he’ll indulge in vices that always amplify his pain rather than succeeding in his attempt to numb it, he’ll stare down the mirror each morning and curse the reflection he finds with all the blame in the world he is capable of holding in the palms of his hands. But in all the ruptures of his own old scars, he fails to consider that he is not the only one burdened with loss.

They all lost you. When Eddie lost you, so did the band. You’d become a ghost to more than just your abandoned lover — you’d become a tired haunt to boys you’d known, boys you’d befriended and burrowed your way into the lives of, just as well.

“She was our friend,” Gareth chokes out, fists curling at his sides, “Jesus Christ, I- I get it. She was everything to you. Whatever. But she meant a lot to the rest of us, too. Whatever happened wasn’t just some isolated event — you two didn’t just hurt each other. You set off whatever bomb erased her from our lives, but it left the rest of us with some damage, too. Don’t forget that.”

This is the part where Eddie should apologize. This is the part where, once upon a blissful time, he would have said his repentance.

He doesn’t.

“I don’t care how hurt anyone is,” he lowly responds, eyes unable to meet Gareth’s any longer, “I’ve told you the rules, we’re going to follow them. End of discussion.”

Gareth throws back his head, and Eddie winces at his scoff, “She’s not your fucking property, Eddie! She isn’t solely yours to keep or whatever the fuck you think you’re doing!”

Eddie can’t even deny the action of keeping you. All the demos, all the songs laid to the grave because he couldn’t stomach the thought of releasing them for others to experience.

But that’s not what this was. This, the cataclysm that was sending Gareth to finally release all this pent up frustration, was him following your rules. You’d made your wishes for this project very clear, and he needed to at least try to respect them. They all did.

So he takes on the role of the bad guy. He lets them paint him as the villain if it means no red will stain your ledger.

“Oh, I think she’s made it very clear that she isn’t mine,” the mask slips on far too easily for Eddie. Cool demeanor, compartmentalizing. Not you, but his emotions towards his friends, if he could even still call them that. His bandmates that he had once seen as brothers. “Doesn’t change what I said. Don’t push it, Emerson, or there’ll be Hell to pay.”

“What are you going to do? Disappear on us?” Eddie finally looks back up to meet Gareth’s fiery gaze as he spits out hateful words, “Hate to break it to you, but you already left this band behind two years ago. And if you ask me, you should start leaving the vanishing act to her. At least she doesn’t make us pay for her mistakes.”

Eddie is by no means done with the conversation, more than willing to continue fighting with Gareth, but the other boy clearly feels differently. He leaves his words hanging in the air as he spins away, storming out of the door, the air in the studio now several degrees hotter now with the irate fuel of the fight.

It was all a blood sport. All of it. It didn’t matter if Eddie was fighting with the band, the management, with you. It was all bloody and fruitless, and it all left him the same awful type of hollow in the end.

He stares blankly at the wall as he makes a silent decision.

By the time the producer has timidly returned to the room, Eddie has already set up his laptop to connect to the studio's system, prepped so that any recording would automatically copy into his personal hard drive. A way for him to listen and ruminate in the privacy of his own apartment.

The sheet music torn from his notebook already lays at the table besides the entrance to the booth.

“Do you… want to run the track again?” the man, the stranger, asks. He clearly heard the fight. Eddie and Gareth hadn’t been exactly quiet in their screaming match. At least, Gareth hadn’t been.

Is it really a screaming match if only one side fights back?

“I want to lay a new track,” Eddie’s voice is deadpan as he clicks a few buttons, finalizing everything. He only needs the man to click record, “A raw piano and vocal demo. We can add the rest of the band later.”

“I-“

One look from Eddie, hardly passed over his shoulder with a glimmer of unbridled determination, and the man quiets as he takes his seat.

Eddie storms into the booth without another word, fist curled around the page of lyrics and terribly hand-drawn music clefts.

She isn’t yours to keep.

Eddie was aware of that. Painfully, painfully aware. But it had never been about his claim to you.

Gareth was right. Eddie never wanted to own you. Keeping you, however, had been something he should have taken more care with.

The chill of the small room to record in does little to lessen the flames eating Eddie up as he bypasses the assembly of various instruments all crowded in the space. Gareth’s drum set, Jeff’s guitar, Grant’s bass — he storms right past them, eyes locked on the grand piano in the fair corner. It took up the most space, far too large to have been forced to be contained within this compact room.

Eddie drags the mic from where it had been stationed previously with him, quickly and recklessly resetting it at the piano.

Once he’s seated on the bench, crumpled pages thrown up onto the music desk of the piano and headphones snug over his ears again, the producer finally clicks on his mic to speak.

“Hey, uh… Does this demo have a name by chance? Or do you just want to label it as an unknown for now?”

It certainly does have a name.

“Blood Sport,” Eddie spits out. “Just name the file Blood Sport.”

The hum that would indicate to Eddie when those on the other side of that glass window were speaking clicks off, and he takes it as his cue.

He’d written the song a while before. There were some gaps in the lyrics, some notes he’d played with on his personal piano scribbled over and never replaced. He’d never played it in its entirety before.

It starts slow. His fingers hold the ivory keys delicately, arranging for the first opening notes as if he were slotting his knuckles against your own for the first time over again.

She isn’t yours to solely keep.

Were you ever his to keep, ever?

Even the ivory keys of the Steinway are more solid than you ever were. You were nothing more than water, than blood, destined to slip between Eddie’s fingers. He never stood a chance in having you, in holding you, in keeping you.

Not just now, but before all the blood shed, as well. He should have recognized Cassandra’s curse the first day he looked into your eyes. He should have known the twist in his stomach was only Fate sinking its claws into the two of you.

A tale fit for a Shakespearean stage — a tragedy always meant to be.

“I want to roll the numbers, I want to feel my stars align again.”

Eddie’s voice is soft to match the steady beat of piano notes that emit from the crooked curl of his hand against the keys. A soft thump, a gentle lull. And instead of losing himself in the music, he finds himself wrapped up in one of the many memories he’d chosen to lock away for the last two years.

Something was off.

Eddie’s stomach had twisted with anxiety of something being wrong for weeks. You stopped answering his calls, his texts, every form of connection with him. But as he stood in front of the door to your shared apartment, the bile rose even higher in his throat.

He smelt the decay of what he had done before his key had even entered the lock.

“Would you invite me again? Won’t you pay for your arrogance? Won’t you show me your weakness?”

You were never his to keep.

His voice nearly cracks as he approaches the first chorus, not finding the strength behind the vocals he’d always envisioned for the song.

The click of the door opening echoed through the apartment. It felt empty the moment he’d crossed the threshold – you could have just been tucked away in the bedroom, or even in the bathroom, but he knew.

You hadn’t been returning his phone calls. You hadn’t been returning his texts. He knew something had happened, something had changed. Irreversible damage had been done, and he would now have to face the mess he’d created to return home to.

“I made loving you a blood sport.”

He repeats the line until it rings in his head, over and over. Until he swears the words could crack his bones, and the stars that will show in the night sky will do nothing but mock him for the self-inflicted pain.

At first, he convinced himself you just weren’t home. You’d gone to the store or to see friends. You’d be home soon enough and then, the two of you could scream at each other all you wanted. You were angry with him, rightfully so, but he’d rather you yell and scrap with him than the alternative. He didn’t care. Because he was here, back in the flesh and willing to take any and all cruel words you had sharpened for him. The two of you would fight, yes, but at least that meant there was still something there worth fighting for.

After the first three hours, he realized with a sinking stomach that the alternative might just be his reality.

“I want to be forgiven.”

He recalls the look on your face when you’d first seen him today. The fall of your act, the discarding of grace and composure.

The look that told him that he can want all he’s capable of. He can want, he can crave, he can yearn, he can tear himself apart bit by bit with his feeble yet shattering cravings — it won’t change a thing.

You were never his to keep.

After the clock struck the fifth hour of his return, he started his calling.

Over and over and over, he was met with your voicemail. Endless messages spoken and sent alike. Every single one trying to be gentle as they inquired where you were. Letting you know he was back. Going as far as to ask you if the two of you could talk.

He wanted to fight. He wanted to fight, because it meant you still saw something worthy within him.

But even more than Eddie wanted a fight, he wanted you to come home. He wanted you to be there, to welcome him into your safety and remind him he was human again. It was selfish – he was so goddamn selfish – but he needed to feel your skin against his and remind him that he was still a person beneath it all. Beneath the demand, beneath the unwarranted adoration from strangers, beneath all the fractures the sudden traction had left him with – he was still a breathing, living person. He was still your person.

Eddie’s fingers begin to slam against the keys with increasing urgency as his chest heaves out with every syllable. Repeating, and repeating, and repeating the chorus as if it changes a single thing. He loses himself in it all; in the music ringing in his ears and the memories now drowning him as he confesses all his sins to the microphone.

You never came home.

There was no fight, and after the hours reached double digits right along with his ignored phone calls, he had to accept the truth.

You weren’t just at a friend’s, or the store. You were gone. Truly, truly gone.

The drawers once filled with your belongings were vacant. The smell of your perfume was nothing more than a whisper across the pillows. Eddie scoured the entire apartment for signs of you, turning every single piece of furniture over looking for clues. He never thought to check the counter until he’d already ruined the space, terrorizing it in a frenzy before his eyes landed on the letter and the key.

He had approached them both hesitantly. All his denial drained from his body, like the blood pumping through his veins, as his fingers pinched that silver key so gingerly.

A past he can never return to. A home he will never hold the key to again.

The joints of his fingers ache and his lungs begin to burn for all that he lost — all that they all lost — because of him. His own foolishness, his own downfall. He did this.

The aftermath is blurry.

He read the first few words of your letter before promptly crumbling it with his tortured fist, knowing exactly what it said without needing to fully swallow all the words just yet.

He never fully read the letter. He skimmed it, a week later, but not that night.

Then came the flashes of the pain. The way he’d swung his fists at air and menial objects alike. A vase holding wilted carnations met its demise on the kitchen floor, a hole in the wall appeared that he later had to patch up, one of the coffee tables ended up across the living room with a leg splintered half off.

He never dropped the key.

Even as he dropped to his knees in the center of the broken glass, bleeding shins to match his bruising knuckles, he still held that small piece of silver fiercely. He pressed it so tightly, dug it so deeply into his palm that it later left a scar. And not even the way he had grabbed at the broken glass surrounding him had the capability to mar it away as he let it slice his skin, crying out, hopeless and devastated.

You were gone. He had lost you, and he had been arrogant enough to never even notice it.

“You say it doesn’t matter.”

The headphones had long since slipped off his head, and he makes no move to adjust them. He hadn’t even noticed that his body had begun to fall forward and curl into the piano until he’s weakly choking out the final lyric that he hadn’t even written down onto the page.

He hadn’t noticed the tears falling, either.

What were meant to be gasps for air as his fingers fly across the keys in a haunting melody are only sobs. Cries of pain as he no longer can see mere inches ahead of him, a scar of the center of his palm stinging as if brand new, his heart and head pounding in sync. He isn’t even sure if the producer he’s forgotten the name of is still recording. He lets the sobs slip out as he continues to play.

He can’t quite end the song yet. The moment he does, he’s terrified of the version of him that he will have to face once more. All those surface blemishes from the beginning of the end had run deeper beneath his skin. He was nothing more than rubble and fractures now, splintered every which way until he had become unrecognizable. When he looked in the mirror, all he could see was a creature of destruction.

“You set off whatever bomb erased her from our lives, but it left the rest of us with some damage, too. Don’t forget that,” Gareth’s voice echoes in the silence beginning to gather between the notes.

Another wrecked sob leaves Eddie as he finally finishes off the melody, playing entirely unaffected up until that point. Reality crashes down. His body shakes, shoulders hunched as his forehead connects against the freezing wood of the piano and he pinches his eyes shut tightly enough to be left in total blackness.

He couldn’t play another note if his life depended upon it.

The memory fades with the final note before his head rattles with a new image. The smile, the grimace, you had offered him before you two parted ways today. An effort at professionalism that Eddie had seen right through.

Pain. That’s what had twitched in the corners of your mouth. The same pain, if not worse, as the one that now radiated through every atom of Eddie’s broken figure on the piano bench.

He can’t fix it. Not your pain, not Gareth’s pain, not his own pain. The time for damage control, for sincere apologies and any reconciliation has passed. Just like watered-down blood through his fingertips.

Eddie hopes that the producer has had half the mind to stop the recording when he stands and slams the drumset behind him into the wall. Destructive, just as he had been the night he returned to an empty apartment. Just as he had been when he’d been the one to rot and wither away all that you two had once held between you.

They can replace the drum set. Surely, he has a person for that.

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#ghost's writing #eddie munson #maroon #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #rockstar eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fic #finally long enough tag lists to separate lol #voila! corroded coffin is sleep token! wahoo!#i recommend everyone listen to the discography of that band #just sayin #(dial tone is the only non sleep token song that is canon here)#i just can't let go of the death grip i have on that song when it comes to this fic #it was either gonna be catch your breath sleep token or bad omens #and sleep token captures the yearning #Spotify

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chosetherose · 5 months

Text

Two Graves One Gun

So Long London continues the saga of celebrity versus soul. The only way to cure Taylor’s sadness is for her to bid farewell to bearding, and perhaps the closet.

If you can look past the red herrings in this song, you will find a deeply layered masterpiece that illuminates Taylor's battle with herself; how past plans made to maintain her celebrity have marred her soul. She doesn't want to live life like this anymore and is willing to burn her brand down to the ground to free her soul.

As always, the analysis I've written here is only one interpretation of this song. I'm not claiming it is "correct" but I encourage you to plow through (this is a very long post) and consider what I've laid out.

For context, I believe London is a metaphor for bearding. Here is some background for the new folks:

For most of her career, Taylor’s beards have been from the UK. Specifically, from 2012-2023 her beards were Harry Styles then Calvin Harris then Tom Hiddleston then Joe Alwyn.

The beginning of this stage was right around the time she started crossing over into pop music. Red is her first real leap into pop music and to do this successfully she needs to expand both domestically (to pop audiences that don't listen to country music) and internationally (her first opportunity for this since the rest of the world doesn't listen to much country music).

She started bearding with Harry Styles in late 2012, within weeks of Red's release then milks that short lived stunt for 1989 as well. What a way to capture a new pop audience made up of fans abroad and at home. Rinse and repeat until her priority changes to long-term privacy and she finds that aided by an unknown actor named Toe. Even though Taylor's current beard is American, suffice to say one can look at London as a metaphor for bearding given history.

[Intro]

So (So) long (Long), London (London) [repeated]

Pay attention to how she sings this...She breaks "London" into "Lon" and "Don".

So SO / Long LONG / Lon LON / Don DON

This is a sneakily beautiful way to emphasize: So! Long! Don(e)! ...Like "I've been bearding for so long and I'm done with it" or "So long, bearding! I'm done!" Yes, this is a reach but read the rest of this post and circle back. As this intro closes the final "Don(e)!" fades into the upticked beat.

[Verse 1]

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill

I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe

Taylor seeing fairy lights through the mist sounds like she sees daylight at the end of a tunnel opaque from lavender haze. She keeps focused on this goal, carrying on with all these beards over the years. Although she's able to appear calm during these stunts, living life like this has forged a rift within herself. She beards because it's advantageous for her brand but her soul despises the ruse.

Side note: “Keep Calm and Carry On was a motivational poster produced by the Government of the United Kingdom in 1939 in preparation for World War II.” -Wikipedia. A bit of history that I think furthers the idea that Taylor was battling to keep going.

Tayor has to balance these aspects of herself continually - Too much stunting? Her soul needs a break. Had a good break from stunting? She needs to feed the grocery line Swifties to keep them at bay. It's an idea that got me thinking about yin and yang, "an opposite but interconnected, self-perpetuating cycle." (Wiki). I am not an expert on this concept but I know I've noticed it has come up throughout conversations about TTPD. If yin and yang is relevant for this album, as I believe it is in multiple songs, in the context of this verse it feels related to Taylor's constant need to find balance between the celebrity version of herself we see on our screens and the true version of herself only she can see in the mirror.

This cycle wears on Taylor so much that her spine splits from the weight. She has been slogging through stunts, dreaming of freedom, for years. It's been storming so long her clothes are soaked and she feels the chill down in her bones.

Because of the pain she decides to change strategy. Theres no more attempts to make her situation lighter or find ways to deal with it. And think about this - if you're trying to drill the safe open it means either A) you feel like you've tried all the codes and are resorting to brute force, and/or B) you're running out of time and growing desperate. Taylor is past even those points and is giving up entirely.

[Chorus]

Thinking how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

Oh, the tragedy

So long, London

You’ll find someone

The chorus reminds me of talking to a past version of yourself that made plans for a future you. We know Taylor must plan her life years in advance so perhaps she is asking her past self something like, “Why did you think I could handle continued bearding? Did you really think I could handle all the sadness I'm feeling today?”

Then I think the second half of this chorus is saying goodbye to bearding, symbolized by London, because she can’t bear the sadness anymore. Maybe the "you'll find someone" line is aimed at the fans a la "you should find another guiding light" like you guys will find someone else to fawn over in the tabloids.

Side note: I love the double entendre here. Because so long means goodbye but it has also been so long that she’s been bearding (largely with British men).

[Verse 2]

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out

I founded the club she's heard great things about

I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath

I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use

The spirit was gone, we would never come to

And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

I don't have a strong opinion on the first two lines of this version. What comes to mind is she didn't opt in to be an openly LGBTQIA+ artist, she chose to closet and beard. Then other younger closeted celebrities have looked to her as a blueprint.

In the process of bearding for stardom, her soul abandoned all she knew. I think there is a red herring here as Heath could reference Hampstead Heath (which has connections to Toe) but it’s also continuing on the house theme that Taylor sings about. Here, it doesn’t sound like this house is a home. She’s not singing about chandeliers flickering inside, it’s “the” house by a heath -- “Heathland is characterized by plants such as heather, bilberry, gorse and bracken, which occur on infertile and well-drained soils. Open heaths have been highly modified by humans for centuries and are maintained by grazing or cutting.” She’s stuck somewhere that’s by drained her via death by a thousand cuts lol.

Again, it's weighed on her. So she's decided to stop trying to revive the disconnect between her soul and her celebrity, it’s no use trying anymore. She’s realized they could never fully come together.

And she’s pissed off she let her celebrity rob her of an open, free, youth where she could live truthfully. Recall that in Peace she sings, “a coming of age has come and gone” which to me means she feels she can’t explain a coming out via a youthful awakening angle. She’s at the age where people will understand she’s known this for years but hasn’t shared with the world. This will raise questions she won’t be able to answer because it’s all too tangled (NDAs, outing beards, etc.).

[Chorus]

For so long, London/ Stitches undone

Two graves, one gun

I'll find someone

For so long, she’s been bearding, stunting, hiding her true self to reach and/or maintain celebrity. It’s caused her stitches to come undone. This wording is interesting because it implies she had a wound from living this life hiding her truth, they tried to fix her up as her celebrity status soared, but it didn’t work because the sadness was too great.

Perhaps there's two graves and one gun because on the path to daylight she will kill both her celebrity and the sadness of her closeted self. Not how she switches from "you" will find someone to "I" will find someone. This is because she will destroy every version of herself that she's ever known if she comes out one day. She will rise like a Phoenix through the ashes to discover a new version of herself in the daylight.

Note that the Spotify clip for this song, from the Fortnight video, feels significant. First, Taylor looks up toward the daylight. Then, with heavy breaths and a concerned face, she rifles through her art (words written out on a typewriter). We know in the rest of this scene she is lighting her art on fire. Two graves one gun on a path to daylight.

[Bridge Part 1]

And you say I abandoned the ship

But I was going down with it

My white-knuckle dying grip

Holding tight to your quiet resentment

I imagine these first lines of the bridge to be aimed toward those in her life, on her team, etc. that steered her toward closeting to gain/keep fame. Maybe she has plans and they are saying by coming out she is abandoning the ship (her celebrity) they've all worked hard to build. In Miss Americana we heard her team tell her that coming out as a Democrat would halve the numbers of her next tour. Can you imagine what would be said about a coming out?

But what they don’t understand is that living this life is killing her. She’s been holding on to all the subtle ways they’ve told her over the years that her career will sink if she comes out of the closet.

[Bridge Part 2]

And my friends said it isn't right to be scared

Every day of a love affair

Every breath feels like rarest air

When you're not sure if he wants to be there

When she confides with her friends about it all they tell her she shouldn’t be afraid to take steps toward the daylight because look where she is now. She’s been stunting for years (love affairs in the tabloids) and it's awful for her. So terrible that she's grasping for breaths, unsure if she can still survive in this atmosphere (thin/rare air means its not a hospitable environment for Taylor).

[Chorus]

So how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

How much tragedy?

Just how low did you think I'd go

Before I'd self-implode?

Before I'd have to go be free?

Again, I think she’s talking to her past self here. “How could I have thought I’d survive sinking this low? How could I not realize I’d reach a point where I’d self-implode?” Which here, self-implosion is telling a similar story as I think the two graves one gun lyrics do — the result of the self implosion is being free. If she blows up her celebrity and she will be free to live her truth, curing the sadness that has been ruling her life for years.

[Verse 3]

You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

And I'm just getting color back into my face

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place

I imagine this verse is aimed at her fans, the grocery line Swifties who believe her beards are real boyfriends. I read “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” as a sarcastic jab because she’s been screaming 🌈 for whoever is willing to listen. The fans claim to love Taylor but they aren’t willing to really listen to her.

Most people here “altar” and think of a wedding but the definition is much broader, “In religion, a raised structure or place that is used for sacrifice, worship, or prayer” (Wiki). So Taylor was up on the altar, a place of worship, waiting for clues that these fans actually loved her. But what started as worship became sacrifice as these fans never found love for who Taylor really is all the while the bearding and hiding were causing Taylor deep sadness.

Despite all this, she loves her job and her fans. The sadness is too much though. She is about to self implode and feels its time to take steps toward a brighter future. It’s maddening as hell to metaphorically blow up your life just as your fame is escalating to new heights you’ve reached for your whole career.

[Chorus]

For so long, London (So long, London)

Had a good run A moment of warm sun But I'm not the one So long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun You'll find someone

For so long, she bearded. She had a good run, getting away with it all, reaching levels of fame she always dreamed of. But she's not the one to keep the charade going (as opposed to her heroes who unfortunately 'died' closeted). Goodbye, bearding. The wound was too big to fix. With one action, I will kill the version of myself you (the fans) know and the version of myself I know. You (the fans) will find someone else to worship.

...

I could keep tweaking this theory for weeks but these are my initial thoughts on this song about two weeks out from TTPD's release. This album is incredible complex but for me the signs we keep getting are all pointing toward significant change. There is a momentum going right now that I haven't felt since the early Lover era. No matter what happens or how long it takes, I hope our fearless Chairman gets the chance to bask in the sun shiniest daylight. She deserves the warmth.

💕 CTR

#forgive me there are probably minor edits needed #but #I can’t proofread this again I just need to press post

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ashsimpsalot · 4 months

Text

Home to home (Monkey Man Kid X Reader)

A/n: that scene where his ptsd got triggered.

didn't know what to tittle this so it's based in the song I listened to while I'm wriitng:

He can't breathe

Fuck!

He can't fucking breathe!

In through the nose. Out through mouth, Kid.

Breathe, you big baffoon! You've done this before, a million fucking time, BREATHE!

"Fuck!" he raged next to the dumpster, his throat is closing up. He feels his lungs falling apart. Stupid cigarettes!

Fuck this can't be it, this can't be how he goes.

He looks down at what he assumes to be his hands, are they? They're too blurry, shit is it his hands shaking making them blurry? Is it his eyes?

He needs to breathe

He needs to fucking breathe

He needs to

He needs..

You

He needs you

Kid reached into his back pocket, feeling a cold metal object against his fingertips he just fished them out. Hoping that it is his phone. By pure luck he tried searching for you contact number, pressing the phone to his ear desperately after

He hears it ring

Fuck what time is it?

How long has it been?

A month? Two months? Since he told you his stupid desire to seek out his mother's murderers?

'you can't do this to me, Kid. We fought so fucking hard! Remember? The orphanage, the poverty. We were homeless at some point! You can't-you can't up and leave when we're finally stable like this,'

he remembers your frantic eyes searching into his empty ones. You're desperate to keep him in this life, this dream you two built together. The guilt of surviving yet not avenging his mother's death left a heavy feeling in his chest, so heavy he spent weeks on the bed, barely leaving, eating, taking care of himself. It was you, you took care of him.

And he decided to get on his feet and throw everything out for revenge.

Ungrateful bastard.

He hears the phone rang. Why is it still ringing? You wouldn't have the heart to leave him hanging... Right?

'I swear, Kid, I won't search for you if you step out of that door.' fuck that's right, you swore-

"hello?" your voice drowsy with sleep. He can imagine it, your hair spilled everywhere on that floral pillow, sleeping in one of his big shirt with only some shorts under. Eyes barely open.

"hello? Don't play with me right now, I'm sleepy as fuck." the irritation in your voice makes it clear that you didn't open your eyes to see the caller ID.

He called your name, fighting against the dryness of his throat.

"Kid? What time is it? Are you okay? What's going on?" he could hear you waking up by each word you said. "why are you breathing like that, are you hurt?"

He didn't even realise the wheezing he was making.

"can't.. Breathe.." he croaked out.

"Kid? Baby, hey, follow me, huh? Breathe in through your nose, hold, out through your mouth."

He's been repeating that to himself but somehow when you do it, it works, he could finally breathe at least a little. You guided him multiple times until he thinks he's stable enough.

"where are you? Queenie's hotel?" of course you knew, when he told you about his plan he told you everything. No matter how angry you are at him you remember everything he says.

Kid nods before realising you can't see him. "yeah.." he keeps trying to steady his breath. "I'm coming."

"cheeni, no-"

"shut up, I'm coming," he heard the final stern tone in your voice and didn't bother fighting back.

He stayed on the phone the whole time, staring out somewhere, his breathing even but mind is as messy as a jungle. He realised you stayed on the phone too. He only murmured a few words when you asked him where he was

He had no idea how long he was sitting on that curb.

"Kid, hey," your voice reel half of him back into the cold night. You have your hand cupping his cheek, trying to get him to look at you.

"hey, I'm here,"

He sighed when he felt the familiar pattern, a kiss to the forehead, another to the nose and two for the lips. Your fingers buried in his curls. "hey, bandhar, you hear me?" he finally looked at you.

"I saw.. My maa in her." he whispered, eyes locked with yours. You had no idea who he was referring to but you nodded. "okay, come on, baby." you simply said, trying to get him on his own feet. "you finished your shift?"

He simply nodded. Wordlessly got onto his feet, clutching onto your waist.

"I saw maa," his head hung low, curls covering his face, his tall figure that always seems to stand unapologetically is slumped.

You cupped his cheek with one had, brushing your thumb against his cheek.

"bandhar, look at me." you called sweetly, trying to get his attention. He finally lifted his head to look at you, his once slicked back hair had return to their original floof.

Though you do realise his hair is a little dry.

"how about you get on my bike hm? I'll take you home. Get you something to eat, run a cold shower, we'll lay down together and you can tell me about your day." you looked at him, his eyes never left your. Both of your hands had cupped his cheek at this point.

"i can go home?" his vouce sounded so tiny, unlike the man you know. You nodded and planted a kiss on his forehead

"of course baby, anytime," you simply said, heart breaking that he thought you'd be so cruel to deny him of his own home.

He didn't say much the whole ride, just hugged you from behind tightly, buried his face into your neck, letting the wind go through his hair.

Once you're home you guided him by his hand. He just mindlessly followed. You changed him, gave him a cup of water and now end up on the bed with him, his face laying on your stomach, basically draping over you like a blanket.

"I saw her," he whispered, hating how insane he sounded. "heard her screams again," he continues. Running your fingers through his soft hair, you felt guilty, what were you thinking? Letting a man with severe PTSD and survivor guilt roam around by himself after admitting that he has thoughts on revenge? And the fact that he was barely leaving the bed 3 weeks prior. That's an obvious red flag.

You took his hand and kissed his palm, letting him say what he needs to, letting him come back to you as he wants to.

"I'm sorry," you quietly say, caressing his hand. Kid looks up to you confused.

"I should've tried to understand you, instead I blew it out of proportion and argued with you, asking you to choose resulting in you leaving? It's so stupid" you continued.

Kid shook his head, he drew circles on your hip, his head laid back on your stomach. "you have your own issues too. I knew... About your families just up and abandoning you, fleeing the country and stuffs and in a way maybe you see me putting myself at risk as leaving you," his said, eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.

You hummed, playing with his hair again. Twirling one of the curls that strayed.

"I guess when you meet at an orphanage you just kind of have baggage," you tried joking but he nodded, taking it seriously. "it's true," and he turned to look at you, pushing himself up.

Repeating the pattern you both have been doing since you were 16, just two orphans sneaking kisses around in the orphanage, one kiss on the forehead, one for the nose and twice on the lips.

"im glad I met you, you're the only good thing that came out of this whole thing. You're my anchor, you know that?" he asked, kissing you after. You've missed this, the pressure of his kiss on your lips.

You smiled, caressing his cheek softly. "you're my whole world," you replied, smile flattening. "you promise, you won't leave? You won't take these unnecessary risks?" you cant go through another month of not knowing what he was doing. Worry that he might have fuck with the wrong people and end up dead at the side of the street of Mumbai somewhere.

He nodded and kissed your forehead, his fingers tracing circles on your soft stomach. "I promise, cheeni, I promise,"

#Spotify #kid monkey man #monkey man fanfiction #monkey man x reader #monkey man imagine #monkey man fluff #dev patel

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hueningsloverr · 8 months

Text

౨ৎ king of my heart !

pairing: yeonjun x non idol!reader summary: yeonjun loved being in love. especially since he got to be in love with you. word count: 1.0k extra: inspired by taylor swift's 'king of my heart'! apart of my valentines day series

liking yeonjun was like liking water. everyone did. you’d never meet one person who didn’t have something positive to say about him. even ex girlfriends praised him. he was a gentleman, through and through.

and that’s what made liking him so difficult. he was too kind for his own good at times. always lending you his sweater when you shivered even the slightest. picking a specific movie you had mentioned once weeks ago.

small things.

he remembered the way you took your coffee. the song you claim you grew up listening to on repeat. both of your parents birthdays, and their anniversary.

most importantly, he remembers the day he first laid eyes on you.

it wasn’t the first day you met. that day wouldn’t come for another two years. but the day he first saw you was just as crystal clear in his memory as what he ate for lunch. it was something he would never forget.

he was dropping kai off after practice, and you were visiting lea. the two of you were outside, and whilst you didn’t even register the car pulling up, yeonjun instantly saw you.

he was mesmermized.

and by the time he asked kai about you, it was two weeks later. and you were back off at school states away.

the two of you wouldn’t run into each other again until two years later, when one fateful night would lead to the two of you meeting, for real this time.

you were alone in the bar, lea off laughing with friends as you sat talking away with the bartender.

(the two of you went to high school together, you’d later tell yeonjun when he’d inquire about the night.)

he first noticed lea, but the moment he saw you he felt like he was eighteen again, seeing you for the first time. sure, time had passed, but you still looked similar to how you did back then.

not even three weeks after your chance encounter, he was already calling you ‘baby’. you felt like a school-girl in love once again whenever he would utter that word under his breath, trying to be discrete about it.

it felt like a fairtytale ending. something so sweet. so perfect. it was idealistic.

idyllic, he once called it. you didn’t know what the word had meant, not at the time at least. extremely happy, peaceful, or picturesque. checked out.

the two of you just fit together like puzzle pieces. despite any beliefs you had surrounding the idea of being single forever, yeonjun was able to convince you to give him a try.

he was the one you had spent your whole life waiting for - your knight in shining armour (or whatever the saying was).

he treated you like he worshiped the ground you walked on, which all your friends fawned over, but you found slightly unhealthy. to you, there was absolutely nothing special about you as a human being. you did the same things every day - wake up, go to work, go home, go to bed. it was a constant cycle of nothingness.

yeonjun on the other hand? he was cool. he had an exciting life. he was famous. you were the one that should be treating him like he was royalty - like he was god. but he freaked out whenever you tried.

"jjunie!" you called out, seeing him. there was such a wide smile on his face you were surprised he wasn't in pain.

he didn't say anything, just raced towards you. it didn't matter that he was tired, and sweaty, and just wanted to go home.

you were there.

"i missed you," he mumbled into your ear, his grip on you so tight you were worried someone would have to pry him off of you. "did you see the show?"

you nodded, unsure if he would really be able to understand the gesture. of course you saw the show. "you were amazing, serious-" you began to praise him, only for him to interrupt you with a soft kiss to the forehead.

"you don't need to go into detail, i already get told that a hundred times a day." he groaned, rolling his eyes. you could tell he was embarrassed. but it was the truth. he was good.

"whatever," you laughed, taking his hand in yours. "you never let me compliment you."

he smirked slightly, choosing to not deny the claim, but also not agree with it. "yeah, yeah. i saw that boy, during soundcheck. he was doing some checking of his own." he huffed, though you could tell his annoyance was not aimed towards you, but the boy who had been (apparently) flirting with you.

now it was your turn to smirk. "you know those boys are nothing compared to you! doesn't matter if they're millionaires with expensive cars, you're the one who lives in my heart."

he nodded, resting his chin on your head. he was already done with the conversation. he knew you would never hurt him, but the reassurance was nice. the confirmation leaving your lips, not one of his members.

"if i died right now, i would die happy."

you furrowed your eyebrows slightly, tilting your head up to look at him. this caused him to look down at you.

"i feel like a teenager in love again when i have you with me. like i'm still seventeen, pining over the girl in my physics class."

his voice was almost a whisper, as if even he wasn't sure of what he was saying.

"i know sometimes you doubt yourself, but this right here? what we have? it is enough. it is so much more then enough, actually."

you weren't even sure where all of these confessions were coming from. it was as if someone had given him a truth serum, and he was just spilling his guts.

"you know, i didn't date at all before you. you are the one i have been waiting for, all these years."

those words reminded you just why exactly you were in love with choi yeonjun. it wasn't because of his money, or his status, or his looks. it was nothing about who he was on the outside. it was because of the person he was beneath all of that. his feelings, his hopes, his dreams.

all of that is that made you fall in love with him.

and all of that is the reason he was the king of your heart, body, and soul.

forever and always.

authors note: part one done!!! four more parts :3 i'm planning on posting soobin on saturday so keep your eyes peeled! this is also a partial birthday gift to my lovely @anxietyglitch <3!!

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modelbus · 1 year

Note

Heyy! Could you do Wilbur x artist!reader dating hcs because a musician and an artist? I feel like Y/N like Wilbur makes so much art of him to the point she actually probably made one of their lovejoy posters!! And Wil would teach Y/N guitar and Y/N teach Wil how to draw and its so SDHDSGJ

I'm an artist and I think this would be cute! Hope you can answer this ask <3

- 🍄anon :D

I’m not an artist myself, but my two artist friends came in clutch here!

Pairing: Cc!Wilbur x Gn!Artist!Reader

Adored Artist

Idle drawings of Wilbur completely fill your sketchbook. Him playing guitar. Him sitting there. A specific doodle of him with a large forehead— for the joke.

The two of you tend to sit together without talking. You drawing, him creating Melodies and lyrics.

Getting showered in compliments.

He talked about decorating his guitar once, and you drew nothing but guitar designs for the next week.

His callouses and your graphite-stains are jokingly called “battle wounds” together.

When Wilbur buys you art supplies as gifts, he is painfully meticulous in making sure the supplies are good and ones you like.

Him peering over your shoulder to see what you’re working on, always delighted when it’s something related to him. Whether that be a simple guitar sketch for practice, or actually him.

And 100% yes he’d be yoinking your drawings to use for Lovejoy or merch reasons.

“Hey Love, remember that drawing you did the other night?” He asked, leaning against the couch where you’re curled up with a sketch pad. “You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, Wil.” You had laughed, finishing part of the sketch and looking up at him. He laughs too, leaning down to kiss you. “The one with the Lovejoy mascots. And our skull.” He had elaborated for you. Your eyes had lit up, flipping to the page for him. “Yes! That one. I was thinking, maybe it’d be cool to use as a design for merch?”

You couldn’t believe it, that he actually wanted to use your drawings. But, when you realized he was serious, you jumped at the chance.

(He insisted on paying you for it, too, even though you assured him you were perfectly happy giving him the designs. For two weeks you played a game where you passed the money back and forth until you gave up and just accepted it)

He doesn’t shut up about you or your talents ever. Met someone new? He’s pulling out his phone to share your art. Saw someone online talking about art? He’s tagging you to say you’re the best artist ever.

Teaching each other <333

Wilbur had made a small comment, and you jumped on it.

”I wish I could draw like that. You’re so talented, you’re incredible.” “I can teach you.” “What?”

Did not go well at all.

“Imagine that the light is here, okay? So you have to shade where shadows would be, making it darker there.” You explained patiently, gently tapping the areas you’re talking about.

“Shadows. Darker. Shading.” Wilbur repeated, looking up at you. You were leaning on him, your head on his shoulder to see his drawing. A very… admirable attempt at you.

“Go for it.” You encouraged, and he blinked.

“What?”

“…Were you listening?”

“Of course I was, love.” But the way he had leaned in to kiss you—to distract you—certainly said otherwise.

Since you “made” him draw, he convinced you to learn how to play guitar.

You protested (secretly loving the idea of learning from him) but in the end he got you to agree.

Sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped around you to help you form the chord shapes. It’s cozy, and you’re absolutely failing.

“This is a G—“ “My fingers don’t do that, Wil!”

In the end, it turns into him playing a song for you. But only after you manage to make that G chord, finger pain be damned.

He loves putting up your art on the walls. Taped.

#dsmp #mcyt #mcyt imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x you #wilbur imagine #wilbur #wilbur x reader

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ell-alexanderarnold · 1 year

Note

trent request based on the song hurts so good by astrid s

Hurts So Good

Summary: Y/n and Trent’s situationship has been going on for almost a year, is it a situationship worth saving? Y/n is unsure…

Warnings: Kind of cheating idk, cursing, SAD

Angst

Note: Most of my angsts have good endings I’ve noticed… so I decided to give this one a sad ending 🤭

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

You were in your bed ready to go sleep after a day filled with thoughts and emotions. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’s been weeks and to you it feels like years since you last saw him. You didn’t know what happened really, you two just stopped talking. And now you’re facing the consequences of not being as close to him as you once were, you are lonely without him. Trent, who always makes sure you don’t feel alone and proves to you that you are loved. He does not linger around your house no more. It’s empty without him.

Liverpool once again got one more win in their unbeaten run, and you were happy but you were even more happier for Trent.

You stared at your phone screen, seeing the number you are so familiar with, fighting the urge to not press ‘call’ but you listened to your mind playing games. Maybe he won’t answer after a game, it was late too but you couldn’t resist it. You listened to the signals and finally he picked up.

”Hello” Said the voice that you’ve not heard in a while.

“Hi, I’m sorry if I bother you I… just wanted to congratulate you on tonights win, you played very well” You began, fidgeting with your fingers as you waited for an answer.

“Thank you so much, did you watch the game?” Trent wondered.

“Oh yeah I did” You explained, feeling how the conversation died a bit and you sighed knowing what you’ll have to ask.

“When will I see you again, Trent?” You mumbled, only hearing the silence from him almost as you caught him off guard.

“I don’t know Y/n but it’ll be soon, I promise” He spoke up and you heard a big sigh coming from him.

Trent felt a knot in his stomach, he knew what he’d done and he knew you wouldn’t forgive him. But he thought it was best to just push it aside and find another solution, which was to keep seeing you as usual without messing up.

It was quiet on the phone, you felt like you were talking to a ghost until he finally uttered

“I love you Y/n, I’ll see you soon alright love?” He said in a raspy tone, and the words made you fall into his trap even more without knowing it.

“I love you too Trent, sleep well” You ended and it stayed silenced for a minute before you both hung up.

The emptiness was still there but filled with hope, hope that you will see him again soon. You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to sit and wait for him to tell you that he misses you and that he needs you.

You needed the thinking to stop or the thought of Trent to stop. The only thing on your mind was that night in Spain last summer, and it were all you could think about. How he looked at you from across the room, how his brown eyes were glued on yours so perfectly and of course the hookup you both had. It was hard to move on from there after knowing that you two lived close to each other and started to see each other more often, then it became every two days.

And each day your crush got bigger and bigger, until now, you are convinced that you’re in love with him or maybe just in love with the idea of him.

—

Another day goes by and you’re still thinking about what he said to you over the phone.

“I love you Y/n, I’ll see you soon alright love?”

The words kept repeating in your head. If he loved you why would he suddenly stop talking to you? Why would he stop calling every night to say that he misses you?

It’s becoming more and more alone in your apartment, you miss having Trent around. He would come to you every time after a hard day to just talk about his feelings, things that bothers him and you’d understand what he’s feeling. But nowadays he doesn’t show up.

As you were lost in your thoughts you heard a knock at your door, it was late and you didn’t want to expect anything but as soon as you opened your door, you saw him. You felt how your cheeks hurt from the big smile plastered on your face.

Trent entered and hugged you, you were in his arms again. His perfume, his gentle touch and just his presence was everything for you in the moment.

“Trent!” You gasped in surprise, he chuckled and let you of you to take off his shoes.

You led him to your sofa where you sat down with him, not believing that he’s actually with you.

“I’ve missed you, Y/n. I’ve missed you so” Trent expressed whilst you laid down in his arms. The both of you were quiet, you just took in seeing each other after such a long time.

“How have you’ve been?” Trent asked and took your hand.

“I don’t know honestly, it’s been lonely without you. Where have you’ve been?” You asserted, wanting to know why he’s been so distant.

“It’s been a very tight schedule, you know with all the games and that” He simply responded.

“Hmm okay” You hummed, confused because he’s schedule is just the same as before. He always has time for you in his “tight schedule” but now there’s none apparently. Has he given that time to someone or something else?

You rise up to go and get yourself some water, a sudden wave of anxiety hitting you. After all this time away from Trent you wonder if he even wants something to do with you anymore.

As you took a sip of your water you walked back to the sofa and sat down beside him. Trent looked like he was hiding something, but you couldn’t figure out what. He’s always been like that, mysterious it’s like you’re dealing with a puzzle trying to figure out where every piece should be.

“Why did you show up tonight?” You wearily asked, searching for a way to find out why he’s avoiding to see you.

“I missed you and I want you, it’s been a long time eh?” He simply responded but you could see. There’s something in his eyes, he’s keeping secrets.

“Wait, you want me?” You hesitated, knowing that Trent does not like to bring up whether you should make it official or not. Every time you’d bring it up he would shrug it off and tell you that he wants to keep it slow but it’s been a year now. How long is this going to last?

“I do want you Y/n but it’s complicated.” Trent sighed and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Why is it complicated? We’ve got everything” You pushed. You two did have everything, almost.

“Yes but I feel like we still need to prove it” He said.

“Prove what? What is missing for you?” You challenged and you could feel how the conversation was drifting away, turning more into an argument.

“Nothing” Trent lied and sighed, got up from your sofa moving to your bedroom. You followed him, you could see that he was upset with the situation.

“Then what is the problem!” You blustered and your voice cracked, Trent turned around to face you and rolled his eyes at you crying.

“Are you seeing someone else?” You cried, looking at him with disappointment because you knew he was hiding something.

“I’m not Y/n why would you assume that?”

“Because you’ve been acting differently, you’ve been avoiding me, you never text me anymore. I’m not hearing anything from you!” You told him and laughed in disbelief.

“I’m not seeing anyone, just give me time Y/n” He argued and walked up to you, wrapped his arms around your waist and pecked your forehead with his soft plumped lips.

“I’ve given you time, I’ve given you all the time in the world. Still you need more” You wept into his chest, feeling how his embrace comforted you at the same time as you were mad at him.

You wanted to trust him, to believe him that he wouldn’t have been with someone else behind your back. Because you two were sure how you felt about each other. Together or not you were his and he was yours, no one could take that away from you.

Trent began to move your body side to side to cheer you up, you giggled but you were still upset.

“Hey, what about you coming to my place tomorrow and we’ll watch a movie together” Trent considered and looked down at you with his puppy eyes, and once again you fell into his trap.

You hummed in response and let go of him, he walked to the hall and you were trailing behind him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow 7pm, don’t be late” Trent expressed and was all set to leave.

“I won’t” You said, and now you two stand there by the door with nothing to say. You looked at him, and something was still not right. You promised yourself to trust his words, he said he needed time. That’s what he said, he didn’t say he was seeing someone so you couldn’t just assume that but you still did.

“Y/n, come here” Trent broke off the silence and he wrapped his big arms around you. You sighed and before you could say anything he leaned in to kiss you. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks went red, he really could take away all your worries with just one simple kiss.

After he left you looked around your surroundings and everything reminded you of him. You stared at the sofa, imagining him still being in your presence. Your shirt smelt like him, that perfume that always smells so comforting and smells like Trent.

The worst part is that every time he leaves, it makes you want him even more.

Further another day waiting for you as you got ready to see Trent. You kept staring at the clock hoping that you would see 7pm on it, but the time stood still.

Ever since he left your house yesterday, you hadn’t stopped thinking about the conversation you two had. About him seeing someone else, it was just stuck in your head. And again you kept thinking if he said that he loves you, why would he see someone else?

As the clock started to near 7pm you got ready to leave your apartment and took on your puffer jacket and your shoes, checking your natural makeup look one last time in the mirror before stepping out of the door.

You decided to walk to Trent due to the short distance between the two of you. A few months ago he would follow you back home after you’ve been at his place, and he would make sure you got home safe. But now he’s stopped doing that. He doesn’t even meet up with you in the middle of the road anymore just because he can’t stand waiting one more minute for you to approach his house.

It was dark and chilly outside and you couldn’t wait to get to Trent, he that always makes sure you’re warm and safe in his arms.

Your hands were in your pockets because of the cold and you took out your hand to open his gate, you walked slowly towards the door noticing that the light’s out when you’re approaching it.

You knock, and you knock again. No one’s opening the door. You stand there, thinking that he’s maybe busy at the moment or doesn’t hear you knocking. But it’s starting to get more cold and you pick up your phone to call him.

“Y/n❤️” is calling…

Trent looks over at his phone and shrugs the thought of you off until he remembers…

You can’t stand waiting no longer as you open up his front door, it’s dark in his living room and you reach for the light switch wishing you actually never did because of what your eyes is seeing.

Seeing his hands on her thigh made you sick to your stomach, your entire body froze. You couldn’t do or say anything at the moment. Trent hasn’t even noticed you standing in the corner watching, until you decide to take a step forward.

“Oh I understand why it’s why it’s complicated” You noted and watched Trent and the girl next to him turn their heads drastically to your direction.

Trent quickly took his hand off her thigh and she looked at Trent then walked out of the room, stormed past you with her intense perfume that gave you a big headache immediately.

You still stood there, you could hear the silence crying, and Trent looked over at you with glossy eyes knowing that he’s darkest secret has been revealed. The one he tried to hide you from, to protect you from with the knowledge that it would absolutely break you.

“Tr..” You couldn’t even stand to say his name.

“I’m not even surprised to be honest” You whispered as a tear left your eye, Trent stood up and walked towards you but you took a step back.

“Y/n I can explain…” He started but you easily cut him off.

“Nah it’s alright” You said and your voice was breaking, Trent got closer and tried to hold you but you put up your hands and froze again and now you were fully sobbing. You never ever thought you would not want his touch but here you are, not even wanting to see him.

“Guess you really didn’t think I’d find out” You sobbed, not knowing what to do. You wanted to leave his house as soon as you could but your eyes were filled with tears and your vision was blurry.

“Y/n I- I’m sorry this is the biggest mistake I’ve ever done please just listen” Trent explained while he was trying to get eye contact with you, but he didn’t find that look that would tell him that you’re forgiving him.

“Why would you even do that Trent? If you know how I feel, why? Please just tell me” You cried and began to make your way back to the hall to leave.

“I’m stupid I know, is just that we’ve been so far away from each other all the time and I missed you and I didn’t know what do to” Trent stated as he cried, begging you to stay.

“Oh my… I can’t. I literally live 10 minutes away from you! You could just tell me that you want see me” You snapped and opened his door, it was even more cold than before and it was raining, you stood waiting for him to say something but he didn’t.

The rain was pouring down on you, you were absolutely drained. Not only drained from the rain but also from this night. You couldn’t believe that it was happening to you, and you kept asking yourself why you’re even this hurt if you two aren’t even together.

Because Trent was everything to you, why would he not be? Everything about him was so special, so beautiful. It was everything you liked in a person the night you met him. He has treated you like no other has ever treated you before and it made you feel loved and worth something. But now when he’s thrown all of that trust you had for him away you don’t know what to do.

So many promises he made, every one was just added to the bunch of lies that you couldn’t see. You was blind by his lies and his love, was it even love? Everything he’d say or done to you made you think if he even meant it or cared about you in the first place.

When you finally approach your apartment after walking the most painful walk you’ve ever done in your life, you enter the door. Completely ice cold from the rain, you throw your jacket on the floor and then you go into the bathroom to shower.

You sat on the floor, looking up at the water that falls upon your skin. You could see your phone lighting up in the dark, multiple times and you could also see who was calling.

Trent.

You sighed and continued to wash out your conditioner before stepping out of the shower. You put on new clothes and tried your best to forget about everything that happened, but it wasn’t possible. In fact it was stuck in your head. That image of him sitting in his couch with somebody else, when it was supposed to be you.

You check your phone and you see hundreds of missed calls and texts from him seeing that he’s outside your door, and you can’t believe how he thinks that he can just try to fix everything like that.

Despite of what he’d done you still open the door. There he stood not even wet from the rain and you felt like an absolute idiot for letting him come in.

“Just wanted to make sure you got home safe” He began and you walked away from him, continuing to do your skincare after the shower.

He followed you, he could see that your whole body was exhausted from this evening and what he’d done to you.

You stood in front of the mirror applying your moisturiser and you could see him standing by the door watching you.

“I never meant to hurt you Y/n, and I know you’re hurt. And I’m never gonna forgive myself” Trent admitted and tears started to well up your eyes as you walked past him to get to your bedroom.

It didn’t matter how many times he told you that he’s sorry, you were still shattered and convinced that you do not do such a thing when you two know how you feel about one another.

“Tell me, what it’s like to have someone who’s always there for you? ‘Cause I wouldn’t know.” You mocked and a frown immediately appeared on his face.

“Y/n you know how fucking busy I am” He snapped and you rolled your eyes at his audacity to say something like that when you know there’s been plenty of time for him to see you.

“That’s not true.” You responded and now you stood facing him, he watched you brush your hair and his eyes followed every move you made until you walked past him again.

“Yes it is for goodness sake!” He scoffed, making you more and more angry wishing you never let him in.

“Guess you used your fucking time for someone else then, don’t come running back to me when she’s leaving you too” You shrugged and went to sit down by the sofa. It was all quiet again, the only thing that broke off the silence was you sniffing and Trent sighing. He sat down next to you and tried to tuck on strand of hair behind your ear but you pushed his hand off.

“You’re pretty when you cry, you know that right?” He whispered and took your hand, making small circles with his thumb which you didn’t know comforted you.

“Don’t start, please” You sighed and looked away from him.

“Start what?”

“Just don’t say things like that.” You told him.

“Why not?” He challenged and you started to lose your mind, your emotions were bubbling over and you decided to get up from the sofa, indicating for him to leave.

“Fuck, just go home please” You said, wearily and he stood up, walked up to you and now you were standing face to face. Your lips inches away from each other.

You thought if you two were meant to be, you would’ve been by now. But you weren’t and it was only for you to accept it.

“I see, it’s only when you’re about to lose someone that you pay attention.” You scoffed and laughed a little, how dumb can he be? Thinking you’ll forgive him just like that with his petty apology-kisses.

Trent understood and he knew. He knew he has lost you forever. He’s never going to find someone like you, someone who has that twinkle in their eye. Someone who cares for him like you do, love him like you do, he’s never going to find you in another person.

He wanted to kiss you, of course he did and you did too but there was no spark between you two to kiss anymore. It has died, that spark is gone probably far, far away from the two of you.

“Y/n I want you to know that I loved you, and I still love you. I will probably love you forever” He confessed.

“No, you will not Trent” You muttered wanting nothing but for him to leave.

“I’ll wait for you” He added and his voice broke and he started to cry, you rolled your eyes at him.

“Don’t please.” You ended and now you both stood there. Once again the conversation went quiet and you could feel an extreme wave of emotions washing over you, memories with him, meeting his family for the first time, everything was almost like a recap of what you’ve been through together. And now it comes to an end? Just because of him, going behind your back.

He slowly opened the door, whilst you tried not to break down in tears but you failed. It hurts so good but too much for you to handle. You really loved him but at the end of the day, loving him has consequences.

“Wait Trent” You blubbered and he turned around with tears running from his eyes. You went to hug him one last time. You both sobbed, knowing it was best for the both of you to end on “good terms”.

“I’m so sorry my Y/n, I love you so” He cried and his head laid on your shoulder, not wanting to let you go.

“I don’t want to let go” He whispered.

“You have to” You uttered and let go off him, your eyes were filled with tears and so were his, but you couldn’t be with him any longer.

“I love you, please don’t think of me. Focus on the football and your family. Know that together or apart I’ll be your biggest supporter T, cheering on you from the sidelines.”

You ended and he looked at you one last time with his mesmerising brown eyes.

—

It’s been months since you last saw Trent. You’ve been working a lot and you’ve been doing better since you stopped seeing him. But when you feel alone, the thinking starts again. You miss him one day, another day you’re not. It goes in waves, but you know better than to start talking with him again and then experience the same thing all over again.

As you were getting ready for your first date since you met Trent, you were searching for a specific purse. You found it, you hadn’t used it for almost a year and you also found a lipgloss you’ve been missing. While you continued to emptying it, you found a piece of paper.

Without noticing tears started to fall down on your cheeks. You know who’s handwriting it was and you knew exactly which night it was written on. The night you two met, he must’ve put the letter in your purse when you didn’t see. You never opened it when you searched your bag last year because you thought it was just a receipt.

Everything came back to you. That night in Spain, late nights at his house, everything just came back. It has ruined your entire mood, forcing you tell your date that you can’t make it. And at this point, after all these months it makes you wonder.

Are you getting over him or just pretending to?

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Let me know your thoughts 🫶🏻

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #england x reader #footballer x reader #trent x reader #trent imagine #trent alexander arnold fanfic #trent alexander arnold fic #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold one shot #trent alexander arnold angst #trent alexander arnold fluff #liverpool fc #football imagine #football angst

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eurevision · 5 months

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Eurevision: An Educational Music Celebration, A Contest, A Party

Hello! I'm your emcee, Hammer (@soul-hammer). I like corny music competitions and am not a fan of imperialism. Neither are you, and that's why you need Eurevision in your life.

What is 'Eurevision'?

While every musical genre is political, the musical contest Eurovision has repeatedly demonstrated that the contest-makers do not care about genocide. And as such, we should not give them air time, attention, our money, or our forgiveness. But also, we should not live lives of non-sequined asceticism. A world with a Verka Serduchka-shaped hole in it is not a world I'd want to live in.

Meanwhile, every week, tumblr users seem to reveal their musical ignorance. Nobody knows any rap. Nobody knows any country. Gospel? Never heard of her. Metal is when there's long hair and wizards and corpse paint, right? Pop is shallow and frivolous and that's bad. No Dr. Demento archives for me, I'll stick to my Weird Al, thank you very much.

I do not mean to write this in a punitive or judgmental way, rather, I think that depriving yourself of bops is a crime. There is so much good stuff out there!

Eurevision marries these two trends and also caters to the psychological needs of the Eurovision fan. We can get togetherness, music discovery, flashy outfits, and friendly competition all in one, without ever having to directly support the military-industrial complex. We can broaden our musical horizons together.

How does it work?

Every half-week (it would be a week, but that would take forever, because we're going one genre at a time, for reasons discussed below), there will be a different genre theme. The genre will probably be one that mainstream American white middle-income audiences have less familiarity with-- a big part of Eurevision will be discovery/novelty. However, Eurevision highly values genre experts, and depends on them. If you've ever been frustrated by your fellow tumblrinas' cultural chauvinism, now you can prove to them they've been missing out. If you've ever seen someone proudly exclaim that of course they listen to rap, Hamilton is their favorite musical, now is your chance to set them right. The more obscure the better.

Each half-week, readers will submit their favorite songs. They will have a day for this submission. There can be songs that incorporate several genres, but the genre of the week MUST be the predominant one. After a day of submissions, a poll will go up with 10 of the songs. Readers will listen to each song, and vote for their favorite. That song will go on to the next round. Readers can submit propaganda for the song of their choice (INCLUDING song-inspired outfits, because this couldn't be a proper Eurovision substitute without deranged outfits), little history lessons on the genre in question, they can start shit in the comments, and recommend still more listening.

There will be 10 genres total. After the representative song from each genre is picked, they will all battle it out in a final round. There may or may not be a 'wild card' too.

tl;dr/timeline-

Pick genre

One day to solicit songs representing that genre

10 representative genre songs chosen

Half a week of polling to decide best of those songs, best moves forward

Repeat 9 more times until 10 different songs from 10 different genres are chosen

Final poll battle, winner chosen

Unless something knocks us off schedule, this should take six weeks. Seven weeks max.

Why not do all the genre battles simultaneously?

I suspect that doing the contest that way will sequester each genre and allow listeners to only listen to their genre of choice. Which defeats one of the purposes of Eurevision! You can't get out of listening to new music that easily.

What does the winner get?

Bragging rights.

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bloatedandalone04 · 8 months

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Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 1.1

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which you pack your bags for paris, still unsure of whether or not you’ll return to london for anything other than the rest of your belongings, and anakin is forced to reach out to liz after she crosses another line.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.2k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Guilt had followed Anakin all week.

He talked to you for a good hour over the phone on Wednesday, and not once did he mention the fact that Liz had kissed him. He knew the longer he kept it from you, the worse it’ll be for him, but he was terrified of your reaction.

Anakin had been faithful for nearly five years straight, and the one time he’s away from you for more than a few days he lets another girl get close to him. Close enough for him to break that streak in a single night.

He knew that as soon as he told you, it could very well be over, and he never wanted to lose you, let alone because of something so out of character for him.

Still, it wasn’t fair for you to be kept out of the loop, and though he hated to do it, he’d rather tell you in person. He could only hope that you saw it from his perspective, and how hard he’s been trying to get rid of her.

Anakin was sitting on the couch, the passing scenery doing wonders at keeping his mind busy. He wanted to call you, but you told him that you needed to sort some things out today, and he’d just have to wait until you were able to talk.

He had headphones on with the track Vinny and Theo had recorded during all the time Anakin spent with Liz, and he felt like the worst excuse of a friend and band member ever.

They were actually trying to get music out while he just went out and partied. But he wouldn’t be doing that anymore.

If one good thing came out of that whole club situation and the wake up call, it was that Anakin was finally inspired to write. Theo had come up with the idea to create a slower song rather than the loud and intense songs they’ve been playing for the last year and a half. He was sure it was because the bass player was feeling down a lot lately and needed a way to vent, and Anakin and Vinny were more than willing to agree to it.

He listened to the track on repeat as he thought about possible lyrics, and Anakin was happy that Vinny had decided to try his luck with a piano. He played it for about four years before he switched to drums, but he clearly still knew how to play the string instrument as it sounded amazing through his headphones.

Before long, he had a whole page done and was starting his second when Vinny emerged from the back of the bus. His hair was a mess, signaling to Anakin that he had just woken up from a nap.

Anakin could probably use a few more hours of sleep, too, but he knew it would never come. He’d just end up tossing and turning and wasting time, so he didn’t even bother.

Vinny sat down next to him with a huff, taking the notebook out of Anakin’s hands as he did so. Anakin scoffed at him, taking off his headphones and setting them aside as he turned to face his friend. “Is this for a new song?” Vinny asked with a yawn as he read over the page.

“Yeah,” Anakin answered, grabbing his phone and sending you a quick text.

Vinny set the notebook aside after reading it over. “Sounds good,” he mumbled. “Glad to see you got your inspiration back.”

“Yeah, but at what cost,” Anakin muttered.

“Anakin, Y/n will understand,” he tried to reassure him, but probably knew that it was pointless as Anakin would continue to feel like shit until he knew for sure that he wouldn’t lose you because of the mistake he made with Liz.

So when he didn’t respond, Vinny just shook his head and stood back up. He rummaged around in the mini fridge before grabbing two water bottles and heading back to Clara, leaving Anakin to finish up the song he had titled ‘Falling’.

“I feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time,” you confessed as you sat on the grass in the Quad. “I completely messed up that last assignment. I didn’t even try.”

Evan gave you a pointed look as he sipped from the straw of his smoothie. “You’re not wasting everyone’s time, Y/n,” he stated, making you roll your eyes. “I’m serious. Kenneth would’ve sent you running on the first day if he thought you were wasting his time.”

You shrug and look at different flights on your phone. “Maybe, but I still accused him of favoring me when he was literally just trying to be nice,”

“Y/n,” Evan called out to you, making you look up. “You’re a good writer. You’re one of the best in the class, don’t think that you’re not. One bad piece doesn’t make you a bad writer, you know that.”

You shrug again, sipping on your own smoothie. “Yeah, I guess,”

Evan set down his drink and moved closer to you. “I mean it. You’re going places…if you decide to stay, that is. While it’ll certainly give me a better chance at getting published, it’ll still suck to lose you. But if you’re no longer happy here, then you deserve to do something that does make you happy.”

You give him a smile and lean over to hug him quickly. “Thanks, Ev,”

He returned the hug before standing up. “Are you coming to class today?”

You think about it for a few seconds then shake your head. “No, I have some thinking to do,”

He nods and gives you a reassuring smile. “Okay, I’ll just see you later then,”

You nod back and watch as he makes his way to the building the class is in before pulling out your phone.

Ani: I hope you’re having a better day today, baby. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I love you.

The text brings a smile to your lips as you stand up and throw away your garbage as you reply to him.

So far so good. I can’t wait to see you, too, Ani. I love YOU.

You head in the opposite direction of your class, planning on going back to your room and packing your bag for Paris. Maybe you’d even start packing up to go back home. While Evan’s attempts at reassuring you were nice, you still didn’t feel confident in yourself anymore.

Anakin had even tried to reassure you, but he also said that you didn’t have to force yourself to stay if it wasn’t what you wanted anymore, and to have that support from him had your head feeling clearer than it had in weeks.

If all else failed, you still always had him, and that was enough for you to know that you’d be okay.

You pack the essentials and set your bag down next to your desk before sitting down on your bed. Grabbing your phone, you begin to look through more flight options. There was one for three in the afternoon, meaning you’d be able to be in Paris by five thirty at the latest. You’d have to swing by class tomorrow to talk to Kenneth, and to possibly say goodbye to him.

You really weren’t sure if you were going to come back for anything other than the rest of your belongings once Anakin and the guys leave France and you’d have to say goodbye again. Maybe you could just pack the rest of your things and meet him at the next location. You wouldn’t mind sharing that small bunk with him for the next two months, and you knew he wouldn’t mind either.

Without another thought, you buy the ticket and set your phone down, pulling out your laptop and continuing to write the rough draft of your short story, despite your plans potentially dropping the class.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur, and before you knew it, it was the next morning and you were packing last minute things and making sure you had your ticket ready. You set everything on your bed, excitement pulsing through you at the fact that you’d be seeing Anakin in less than nine hours.

His text had you feeling the happiest you’ve been all week, and you had shamelessly read it more than once.

Ani: I can’t wait to see you tonight. I’ve missed you so much, princess.

He was the sweetest, and you were shaking with nerves at the thought of feeling his arms around you again after four weeks of zero physical contact.

You leave your dorm and make your way to class, well aware that it had ended at nine and it was now nearing ten. With a quick inhale, you enter the classroom and meet Kenneth’s eyes from across the room. He was sitting at his desk, his brow furrowed as he looked back down at the papers he was reading. “Miss Y/l/n,” he greeted in a monotone voice. “Glad to see you could make it to class today, though you are an hour late and the class is already over.”

Giving him a forced and embarrassed smile, you step into the room. “Yeah,” you trail off, playing with your fingers as you stand by the door. “I’m sorry I missed the last two classes, it’s just….I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

Kenneth didn’t look up from the papers as he said, “Well, you’ve certainly done a great job at trying to prove that,”

Your face heats up and you look at the floor. “Yeah…I’m really sorry, Kenneth,” you murmur, glancing down at the A on your wrist. You feel the smallest bit of comfort from just looking at it, and you lift your head with a newfound confidence. “I didn’t mean to waste your time. That was the last thing I wanted to do.”

That had your instructor looking up at you. He studied your face for a few seconds before sitting up in his chair. “You didn’t waste my time, Miss Y/l/n,” he stated. “In fact, I quite enjoyed reading your previous pieces, so I don’t know why you think you wasted anyone’s time.”

You shrug at him and avoid eye contact. You just needed to get through this, then you could go to the airport and be with Anakin again after a month of not seeing him.

“I assume you came here to tell me that you’re dropping out?” Kenneth asks and you look over at him.

“Do you think I should?” You ask.

“That’s not up to me,” he says. “It’s your choice.”

You huff, “Do you think I’m…..good enough?”

Kenneth raises his brows. “Do I think you’re good enough?” He repeated your question and leaned back. “I think you’re a great writer, Miss Y/l/n, and it would be unfortunate to lose you before I got to really see what you can do. But, it’s your decision, and I can’t make it for you.”

You give him a small smile and nod. “Right. I guess that’s a good answer,”

He returns the smile before asking, “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I’m….my boyfriend is performing at a few venues in Paris, so I’m going to meet him there,” you tell him. “I’m sorry, but I’ll be missing a few classes next week.”

Kenneth nods. “It might be best for you to take some time to figure out what you want to do,” he says. “If you decide to stay, there’s always a spot for you in my class, but if you want to go then I can’t stop you. But just know that one bad piece doesn’t make you a bad writer, and you shouldn’t let it have that much control over you.”

Your smile fades a bit at how similar his and Evan’s words are. Maybe they were right. “I’m trying,”

He shrugged, “That’s all you can do,”

A few seconds pass before you nod. “Well, I should get going. I don’t want to be rushing to the airport,”

“Before you go,” he called out to you just as you began to turn around. “I want you to know that, whatever you decide to do, I support you.”

That had a genuine smile forming on your lips. “Thank you, Kenneth, and I’m sorry for…everything,”

Then you were off. You headed back to your room to grab your bag, finding Evan leaning against the wall next to your door. Your look of surprise had him raising his brows, “What, you thought I was gonna let you leave without saying goodbye to me first? Especially since I might never see you again after this?”

You laugh and walk into his open arms. “I haven’t decided if I’m dropping the class or not, Ev,” you say and rest your head against his chest. “And I’d say goodbye to you before I left, anyway.”

“How generous,” he teased and pulled away. His eyes flickered all over your face before he met your gaze. “Have fun, okay? Go spend time with your famous boyfriend, and don’t worry about anything else, alright? You deserve it.”

You smile and nod, “Okay,” you agree. “I’ll see you next week, Evan. Promise.”

He squinted his eyes at you. “You better,” he said back, giving you another smile before leaving. You grab your bag and look around your room one last time before setting down the note you had written to Bailey. She was still at her parents house since there was some family emergency, and you didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to her.

You leave it on her bed before locking the door and ordering a ride to the airport, the stress of everything finally beginning to lift once you’re seated on the plane.

Anakin could not stop pacing the length of the small hallway on the bus.

He was shaking, he was so excited to see you.

He couldn’t think about much else other than your sweet scent, your kind smile, your achingly pretty face, and the way your body fit perfectly against his own. He was craving your touch and the sound of your voice. He couldn’t believe he had gone a month without you.

Vinny was watching him with a tired expression, his arm draped over Clara’s shoulders as she slept next to him on the couch. “Dude,” he grunted after watching him pace a few more times. “What are you doing? Why are you pacing?”

Anakin flexed his fingers as he shrugged, passing by the brunet once again. “I can’t help it,” he answered. “I have to leave in less than half an hour to pick her up and bring her back here. Half an hour, Vin, then she’s here.”

Vinny let out a laugh of disbelief, glancing down at his sleeping girlfriend. “I hope she’s this excited to see me at some point in the future,” he muttered to himself as Anakin tried to calm himself down.

“I missed her so much, Vin,”

“I know,”

“I can’t wait to see her,”

“I know, Anakin,”

“Please tell me that you and Clara are doing something tonight,” Anakin was powerless to stop the desperation from coming through in his voice.

Vinny smirked up at him, “Is that your way of asking if the bus will be empty tonight?”

“I need to be alone with her,” Anakin groaned. “I need it to be just the two of us, so we can talk. I need to clear a few things up with her.”

Vinny laughed. “I understand, man,” he said. “I’ll take Clara out for dinner or something and we’ll tour the Paris nightlife.”

Anakin gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you,” then he checked his phone and nearly dropped it when he saw Liz’s newest Instagram post. “Fuck.”

It was a close up picture of Anakin on stage a couple nights ago, his hair damp and his skin sweaty as he finished the last song of the set. He remembered feeling the high of that night, and he would’ve been happy to see that Liz had captured a photo of it, but right now all he felt was rage as he read the caption.

elizaphotography: Thought you’d all enjoy a hot, up close and personal shot of the sexy lead singer of Screaming Whispers ;)

She added a bunch of stupid hashtags and even tagged him, and Anakin wanted to throw his phone at the nearest wall. Vinny must’ve sensed the sudden change as he sat up a bit and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“She- I can’t fucking believe her,”

Vinny reached forward and grabbed his phone, his gaze hardening once he saw the post. “Wow, this bitch won’t quit,” he muttered, reading the caption over and over again. “She must think she’s invincible or some shit, because- what are you doing?”

Anakin had swiped his phone out of Vinny’s hand and clicked on Liz’s contact as he left the bus, hoping that the air would cool him off at least a little. It rang for a few seconds before the call connected, “Ah, I knew that would get your attention,”

“Back off, Liz,” Anakin rasped, leaning against the side of the bus as he felt his heartbeat quicken. “I mean it.”

“You’ve been avoiding me like the plague, Anakin,” she stated. “You’re acting like a prick. I thought we were friends.”

“You thought wrong,” he said and tried to take back control of his breathing. “Change that caption, or better yet, delete the entire fucking post.”

Liz hummed, “Thought I was allowed to post you? In fact, it’s on the contract that I get your image out there for the world to see,” she laughed. “Well, it says something like that, anyway.”

“I’m not joking, Liz,” he muttered under his breath, and her annoying voice had his body heating up in rage.

“I’m not joking either, Anakin,” she said back. “You led me on. I can claim that. Don’t piss me off, Anakin, or I’ll tell Y/n myself that you cheated on her.”

“I didn’t-”

“But you did,” she cut him off. “I’m living proof.”

“What do you want, Liz? Huh?” Anakin asked in frustration as he tugged on his hair. “Why do you insist on being such a-”

“A what, Anakin? What?” She pressed. “Call me anything other than my name, and I’ll message her right now.”

Anakin bit his tongue, holding back on calling her every bad name he could think of, because it really wouldn’t help much at all. “Keep her out of this,” he said as calmly as he could. He didn’t like her holding you over him like this when she had no fucking clue about anything involving yours and his relationship. She was just the fucking tour photographer, why did she think she had such an important role in his life?

“Yeah,” she hummed. “Maybe I’ll do that.”

Then she hung up and Anakin cursed under his breath as he opened the Instagram app. He deleted all the photos she took of him from his account, wanting nothing to do with her at all anymore. Sure, the photos were great and he actually liked them quite a lot, but he refused to be associated with her in any way.

Before he got off the app, he clicked on Liz’s account and saw that she did actually change the caption, but it still didn’t settle the anger brewing within him. Without a second thought, he blocked her and pocketed his phone after calling a ride that would take him to the airport and to you.

They reunite soon :') (but is that a good thing?)

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lfghughes · 1 year

Note

Can u pls do one inspired by if this was a movie by Taylor swift for jack Hughes??

a/n: officially listening to this song on repeat now. hope you like this!

Your fingers reached across the bed, disappointing flooding your body when all you felt was emptiness. It had been a couple months since your breakup but some mornings before your brain was fully awake you still would reach out for Jack, only to be disappointed when you realized he wasn’t there any more. You weren’t even sure why you were disappointed. You had been the one to break things off but in the back of your mind you had thought that within a week or two he would show back up, promising things would change. That stuff only happened in movies.

There was no romantic moment where he showed up outside your place with a boombox playing your favorite love song or a huge public display of his love for you. All you got was radio silence from him which was exactly what you asked for. Didn’t he realize you wanted the opposite of what you actually said? Now was the perfect time for him to not listen to you. A groan left your lips as you got out of your bed.

Going out tonight was not something you were willingly participating in but when your friends said you were going out they didn’t mean it at as an option. Actually they made it very clear they were tired of your moping around and that this would be good for you. You managed to prove them wrong because after being home all day your mood did not improve and you actually preferred not going out at all. You didn’t even try to look like you were having a good time and anytime a guy came up to you, you brushed him off.

Somehow the night managed to get worse when you noticed Jack. It took you a few seconds to really realize it was him because of all places for him to go to why here? Maybe you were still home asleep and this was a bad nightmare. But no this was real and the cherry on the cake? He was surrounded by a bunch of girls. You broke up with him and yet it stung knowing he was moving on. Your eyes locked with each other and you saw a flash of pain grow on his face. It felt like there was no air left in the room so you quickly excused yourself from your friend circle, they were all too busy to really notice anything.

It got slightly better outside except for the fact that it was pouring down rain and you didn’t exactly have a ride back home. Why had you listened to your friends instead of driving yourself out here. You’re not sure what really took over you but you stepped out into the rain and even though you would regret it in about fifteen minutes, the water felt refreshing on your skin. “You’re going to catch a cold out there.” Jacks voice made you jump, not expecting him to have followed you out. He was still standing under the awning but you could see it in his face that he was deeply considering stepping out.

“Why are you out in the rain?” The question was so simple that it made you giggle, the first time laughter had left your lips in weeks. “It was hard to breathe in there.” You answered. Once again he looked up at the sky and then stepped out into the rain in front of you. You looked up at him, watching the water droplets hit him. “You should go back inside.” Of course you didn’t want him to leave but you were sure he would have a lot more fun in there. “I’m not going to leave you alone.” Again his words made you want to laugh, he had already done that successfully.

“I miss you.” This time his words hit deep and when you looked in his eyes you knew he meant it. “You didn’t even try..” You spoke low enough that you weren’t even sure if he could hear your words over the rain but the look of confusion on his face let you know he heard you just fine. “You told me not to.”

“Well you’re an idiot.” The words slipped from your lips before you could stop yourself and this time it was Jack who was left laughing. His hand went to the side of your face, pulling you in until your lips met. The kiss made you forget about the rain outside or about everything in general except for Jack himself. He pulled away just enough “My car is right down there, let’s get you home.”

#jack hughes #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader

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zimms · 11 months

Text

new york city

you called me last night on the telephone and i was glad to hear from you cause i was all alone you said, "it's snowing, it's snowing! god, i hate this weather" now i walk through blizzards just to get us back together

Derek twists the telephone cord around his finger, straining to hear Will's words down the phone. "Sorry, you're cutting out. The landline's a little dodgy."

He definitely doesn't fail to hear the crackle of Will's laughter down the phone. "A landline? What is this, Nurse? The eighties?"

"Shut up! My moms prefer it for some reason. And, I don't know, it has a bit of je ne sais quoi, a bit of nostalgia, a bit of style, y'know." To emphasise the point, even if only to himself, Derek winds the cable around his fingers a couple more times.

"I don't, but I'll take your word for it."

Derek huffs his own laugh before softening his voice. "Look, the point is that I missed what you said the first time. Please could you repeat it, babe?"

Will's voice comes through the phone. "I said that it's snowing here."

"Isn't it always snowing in Maine in December?" Derek says, "Like I thought that was a given?"

"Yeah, but it's the first time I've seen snow since I last saw you." Will's voice goes quietier. "I miss you."

"That was literally two weeks ago, Dex." Derek rolls his eyes, knowing full well that Will can't see him. "You can't possibly miss me that much; you literally went almost two years without talking to me between leaving Samwell and the spring." He sighs and grins to himself "But- I miss you too."

we met in the springtime at a rock and roll show it was on the bowery when it was time to go

One second Derek is bouncing along to the song that the band is playing, the next, his gaze is fixed on a very familiar head of red hair that's darting through the crowd at the gig.

Dex?

Derek is too packed in by the surrounding crowd to do anything but watch, tracking the figure of a man who, two years ago, he never thought he'd see again. Well, maybe not never, after all they'd been to two weddings together this summer alone. But the point is, it would never be just the two of them again.

He allows himself to be swept back up in the words of the song, singing along with the rest of the crowd, but he never truly stops staring at the back of Dex's head. It's fine; Derek will catch him at the bar after the show. He has to.

The gig is in a tiny bar that masquerades as a club/concert venue, packed to the brim with people here to see bands make their first stumbling steps into the music industry. Derek first listened to these guys in his Senior Year at Samwell and fell head over heels in love with their music. They were even the soundtrack to his alarms for the year, greeting him before every 5am practice (because Dex was a total hardass).

After the final song, the crowd starts to disperse and Derek seizes his moment to chase after Dex.

He can't let him slip away from him.

Not this time.

Derek pushes through the crowd, apologising every step of the way, until Dex is finally within reach. Naturally, as soon as Derek goes to close his hand around Will's shoulder, the man in question takes a step forward and Derek takes a big handful of just air. "Dex! Hey! Dex!"

Will spins around and suddenly they're chest to chest for the first time in- Derek doesn't even know how long.

He forgets how to breathe.

"Nursey?" Dex's eyebrows furrow in that familiar way: the way they would when he couldn't figure out the problem with a particularly tricky bit of code, or when he was trying to figure out the best way to shut down the opposing team's attack. Derek hasn't realised until now just how much he missed that expression.

"Dex!" he says, trying desperately to sound normal and not at all breathless and relaxed. "How are you? I didn't- I didn't know you were in New York?"

Dex rubs the back of his neck. "I'm, erm, I'm not really, but I guess, I am?"

"Dex, I say this lovingly, but genuinely what the fuck does that mean?" Derek takes the opportunity to step back, breaking the physical contact between them at last. He can finally breathe.

"I'm living over near Lincoln Park, but I'm working for a start up here."

Derek laughs. "Dude, you could have just said that!"

"I was suprised to see you, okay!" Dex mumbles. "Though I'm not sure why I'm that surprised considering that you were the one that got me into this band, but it's whatever."

Derek pauses and considers what to say for a second, looking Dex up and down to try and gauge how much interaction with him Dex would be willing to stand. He takes another second to throw all of that consideration out of the window and just say fuck it.

He grins up at Will. "Can I buy you a drink?"

we kissed on the subway in the middle of the night i held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my life

One drink turns into two and two turns into four and so on and so on until the two of them stumble out onto the Bowery and into the open air at 3am.

Derek doesn't know how to describe it, but everything always feels easier at 3am. As they walk along the street towards the subway station, he brushes his hand against Dex's once, twice, three times until finally Will takes his hand in his.

They tangle their fingers together, relaxing into the easy rhythm that they lost at some point during senior year, and falling into each other's orbits yet again.

Derek tugs Will towards the Houston Bowery Wall, gravitating towards the explosion of colour in the night light. "C'mere." He squeezes Will's hand. "This is the Bowery Wall Mural. It's one of my favourite pieces of art in New York, especially this one."

"This one?" Will's voice trembles a little as if they're in a holy place rather than stood on the intersection of two busy streets in New York.

"They change the wall every so often, a constant fresh start, constant new opportunities. Sometimes they decide that a mural has had its time, sometimes other people decide for them, covering up the work with graffiti, showing the world what matters to them. But the wall always comes back with a newer piece of art, a never-ending cycle of hope and new beginnings."

Derek looks down at his and Will's interlocked hands and gives them another squeeze. "Last year, they decided to stop commissioning new murals because they kept being destroyed, but out of the ashes came this mural."

The wall is painted in a bright array of portraits, depicting people of all shapes and sizes. It takes Derek's breath away as he looks at it, even though he walks past it every week; there's something different about bringing Will here.

Will's voice catches in his throat. "It's beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here."

Derek grins back at him. "Thank you for coming with me."

Will's expression shifts and his eyes begin to dart around. "I should be going."

"What? All the way back to Jersey at this time? You're not going to get back until like 8am. Seriously, come back to my place; you can take the guest room."

(Internally, Derek kicks himself.)

"No, no, I can head back; I wouldn't want to impose."

"No, seriously I insist," Derek says, slowly beginning to steer them towards the subway station. "We're like ten minutes from my place on the subway; way better than going back to Jersey."

Will huffs a sigh, knowing that he's lost this battle. "Okay, fine. But I'll pay you back somehow, y'know."

Derek smiles at him as they enter through the ticket barriers. "I know."

(Derek will unashamedly admit that they made out in the empty subway carriage. Like c'mon, how could he resist waiting until he got home?)

because everyone's your friend in new york city and everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty the streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see but the best thing about new york city is you and me

Derek wraps his arms around Will's waist and pulls him in closer, letting their bodies slot together in the warmth of the bed. "I'm so glad that I spotted you at that gig," he whispers into the crook of his neck. "I couldn't let you get away again."

Will leans back into the embrace. "I'm glad you found me too." He wriggles a bit, getting more comfortable. "It feels like I was stumbling blindly around the city before you found me. Like New York and you are so intertwined; you are New York, New York is you. It was weird to be in the city without you, to be honest.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Will turns around to look at him. “Seriously, Derek. I’ve loved the past four months of you dragging me around the city.”

Derek tickles his sides and Will squirms in his arms. “Drag?! I seem to recall you were the one that made a whole list of places that you wanted to see, including Co-Op City.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Will mutters, ducking his head. “Maybe we shouldn’t have trekked all the way out to the Bronx just for it, but I thought I should see it, okay? It was a big case study in my urban planning class.”

“I know, I know. I’m just teasing you.” Derek leans down to kiss his boyfriend. “I think it’s sweet, honestly. Especially considering you didn’t think to do any of this stuff in your first two months of living here.”

“I was getting used to a new city! I wasn’t trying to sight-see; I was trying to survive!”

Derek hums to convey his total belief in Will’s statement. “Uh, huh.”

“It’s true!”

Derek hums again and grins down at him. “Anyway, do you still have that list somewhere? I need to figure out what’s left on your New York bucket list.”

Will blindly flails his arm onto his bedside table. “Yeah, yeah. Lemme just find it.” He rummages around a bit more, before finally producing a crumpled-up piece of paper. “here you go.”

statue of liberty, staten island ferry, co-op city, katz's, and tiffany's, central park, brooklyn bridge, the empire state, where dylan lived, coney island, and times square, rockefeller center

“Okay, I think I have the perfect idea for what our final stereotypical New York sightseeing trip will be,” Derek says.

“Mhhm, am I allowed to know what it is?”

“You’ll find out in, like, three months, I promise.” Derek can’t resist and gives Will another peck on the cheek. “It’ll be worth it.”

wish i was there

Derek finally removes his hands from where they’ve been covering Will’s eyes for the past ten minutes. “Surprise?”

They’re stood just outside the Rockefeller Centre ice rink, which is filled with a hurricane of screaming children and couples desperately trying to keep their balance whilst holding hands.

Will chuckles. “I’d say yes, but somehow the fact that you blindfolded me when you caught me looking at a sign for the Rockefeller Centre says otherwise.” He pauses. “Also, the fact that I caught you stealing my skates from my apartment the last time we were there.”

“Okay, you got me,” Derek says, “but it was good choice, yeah?”

“Yes, definitely.” Will threads his hand in Derek’s. “It was a great choice. Plus it’s like full circle, y’know. We first met at an ice rink and it’s nice to bring the list to a close with an ice rink too. Especially considering how much our relationship has changed over the past seven years, though it was a bit touch and go for a while, eh.”

Derek can’t help himself; he laughs. “Eh? Have you been spending too much time with Jack, huh?”

“Shut up.” Will lets go of his boyfriend’s hand so that he can elbow him instead. “I’m trying to be romantic and poetic and shit; don’t make fun of me.”

“Okay, okay.” Derek says. “You said exactly what I was gonna say, is all.”

“Oh?” Will mock-gasps. “So, I was in fact being poetic and shit?”

Derek kisses him – mostly to wipe the smug grin off his face – and then pulls back. “Are you ready to go and show these kids and tourists how it’s done?”

“Aren’t we technically tourists for this exercise?”

“Shhhh.” Derek kisses Will again, just for the fun of it this time and as they break apart, he feels something wet on his cheek. “Wait, are you crying?”

“No, you idiot, it’s snowing.”

Oh.

So, it is.

Derek feels a little stupid right now, but he can’t tell if that’s because of the kiss or because he was so obviously wrong.

Will taps him on the shoulder. “Come back here, idiot. This feels like a pretty perfect ending to my first year in New York.”

Derek waggles his eyebrows at him. “Yeah?”

He’s met with an eyeroll, but Will also rewards him with a “yeah” and another world-stopping kiss.

Derek has to agree with Will: with the snow falling down on them and the hubbub of the city around them, it does feel like a pretty perfect ending to their first year in New York together.

you wrote me a letter just the other day you said, "springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay" i packed my stuff, it's on the bus, i can't believe it's true. i'm three days from new york city and i'm three days from you.

Will has to laugh when his mom hands him the mail stack, an envelope with his name on it sat on top. Did Derek seriously send him a letter for the two weeks that he was back in Maine? Well, yeah, clearly – that much is evidenced by the fucking letter in his hand.

In fairness, the gesture does have Derek written all over it.

He carefully rips open the letter, thankfully not wax-sealed like some of the love letters that Will had watched Nursey send in his earlier years at Samwell, and the contents spill out.

Will pick up the letter first and begins to read it.

Dear Will,

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been nine months since I found you again at that gig on the Bowery; it feels like we’ve been exploring New York together for years. But springtime is coming soon again and I’m hoping that I’ll never have to find you again, but instead that you’ll always be in easy reach by my side. You know how you said one night that to you New York is me? Well, in the past nine months, New York has instead become You and Me. I feel like you’re pulling back the curtain and I’m seeing the city I’ve lived in for my whole life in a completely different light. Everything is suddenly so much brighter and more beautiful with you around. I hope that this new light continues with the dawn of this new spring, a third new beginning for us perhaps, but just to make sure, would you do me the honour of moving in with me? I mean, if nothing else, it saves you (and, rather selfishly, me) the commute the Lincoln Park every other night.

I know it’s only been a week, but I miss you so much.

I love you.

Derek.

The other item sitting on the kitchen table in front of Will is a keyring with two keys and a picture of the one of the windows from the current Bowery Mural. The keys are engraved with the numbers #24 and #28 and Will can’t quite hold back the mistiness that begins to gather in his eyes.

Of course, after everything, Derek brings it back to hockey, back to Samwell, back to that period of time when they were inseparable, but constantly at odds with each other, so similar, but so different.

Will carefully threads his old keys onto the new keyring. A third and final new beginning sounds perfect to him.

#based on the song by cub/they might be giants #but yeah uhh new nurseydex fic just dropped ig #nursey and dex #my writing #its like 3k?#omgcp #nurseydex #i'd post this on ao3 but my boyfriend just found the account lol and they will take the piss out of me for this #so this will probs make it to ao3 eventually

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